Actor Tom Sizemore Fails Drug Test Using... Fake Penis; Then Goes on Coke-Fueled Whore-Slapping Spree

The supervising medical technician got suspicious when the penis began shooting out confetti and spring-loaded snakes (you know, like in fake peanut-brittle... awwww, if I have to explain, I guess the joke sucks).

In related news, the Daily Kos has been unable thusfar to link this to the Jeff Gannon Tragedy.

Although I'm told to expect further bad news on that score.

Posted by: Ace at 10:01 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Ace,

BTW, the fake penises come in different skin tones.

I have had patients get busted like Mr. Sizemore, because the monitor noticed that the skin color didn't match.

If only they knew this before they went for their test.

I.Am.Not.Joking.

You do the math.

Posted by: MeTooThen at February 11, 2005 10:18 PM (IZIDI)

2 Let's see the terrorists come up with something like that!

Posted by: Iblis at February 12, 2005 12:05 AM (sgJIm)

3 What, exactly, do you expect from a guy named "Sizemore"?

Posted by: someone at February 12, 2005 02:58 AM (k7pM3)

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Advertise Here! Support Contact Ace: aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com CBD: cbd at cutjibnewsletter.com Buck: buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com joe mannix: mannix2024 at proton.me MisHum: petmorons at gee mail.com J.J. Sefton: sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com Syndicate this site (XML) Powered by Movable Type	Actor Tom Sizemore Fails Drug Test Using... Fake Penis; Then Goes on Coke-Fueled Whore-Slapping Spree The supervising medical technician got suspicious when the penis began shooting out confetti and spring-loaded snakes (you know, like in fake peanut-brittle... awwww, if I have to explain, I guess the joke sucks). In related news, the Daily Kos has been unable thusfar to link this to the Jeff Gannon Tragedy. Although I'm told to expect further bad news on that score. Posted by: Ace at 10:01 PM Comments (Jump to bottom of comments) 1 Ace, BTW, the fake penises come in different skin tones. I have had patients get busted like Mr. Sizemore, because the monitor noticed that the skin color didn't match. If only they knew this before they went for their test. I.Am.Not.Joking. You do the math. Posted by: MeTooThen at February 11, 2005 10:18 PM (IZIDI) 2 Let's see the terrorists come up with something like that! Posted by: Iblis at February 12, 2005 12:05 AM (sgJIm) 3 What, exactly, do you expect from a guy named "Sizemore"? Posted by: someone at February 12, 2005 02:58 AM (k7pM3) (Jump to top of page) Name: * Email: * URL: Comments: Processing 0.0, elapsed 0.0051 seconds. 14 queries taking 0.0039 seconds, 11 records returned. Page size 21 kb. Powered by Minx 0.8 beta.	MuNuvians MeeNuvians Frequently Asked Questions What is the Deal with the Cowbell? Why is the Ace of Spades called "the Death Card"? 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