First World Problems...

I bought an immensely large bag of candy for Halloween, on the off chance that some poor kid will wander past the house and need a sugar fix. The kids in my neighborhood go to block parties and Trunk-Or-Treat events, and are missing out on the joys of working hard for one's candy! Poor little bastards!

But...I obviously have a rodent problem in my home, or maybe it's some sort of candy elf that sneaks into homes to steal their extra candy.

I can't think of another way 90% of the candy has disappeared!

Posted by: CBD at 02:00 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 1

Posted by: Skip at November 15, 2026 02:00 PM (Ia/+0)

2 Dibs on the Milky Way

Posted by: Smell the Glove at November 15, 2026 02:02 PM (DI5LM)

3 We solved that problem early...my kids (well, they're adults now, but still my kids) opened the Costco Halloween candy bag and started siphoning off candy...and I joined in. By the time Halloween came, the bag was 70% empty, which was fine, as we had no kids show up at all. Figured a Saturday Halloween would increase the chances, but rain decreased it too...

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at November 15, 2026 02:02 PM (l3cgK)

4 I don't buy candy so I won't eat it.
Not that have issues

Posted by: Skip at November 15, 2026 02:03 PM (Ia/+0)

5 Frozen chocolate is the bomb

Posted by: Skip at November 15, 2026 02:03 PM (Ia/+0)

6 Exorcist and then burn the house.

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at November 15, 2026 02:04 PM (NnhvP)

7 I currently have a tub of peanut M 'n Ms...it's evaporating faster than I anticipated...
I wanted the chocolate covered raisins, but the local Costco doesn't seem to have them anymore...

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at November 15, 2026 02:04 PM (l3cgK)

8 The price of chocolate-based candies is ridiculous...and I went by Costco the other day, and like last year, they refused to put the bags of Halloween candy on sale...so I didn't buy any more.

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at November 15, 2026 02:05 PM (l3cgK)

9 Oh you may stray, but you'll always return to your dark master, the cocoa bean. ...

Posted by: 496 at November 15, 2026 02:06 PM (/zWHY)

10 6 Exorcist and then burn the house.

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at November 15, 2026 02:04 PM (NnhvP)

Someone suggested I burn down my house last night on the ONT...
Told 'em I'm stubborn like my Dad...

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at November 15, 2026 02:06 PM (l3cgK)

11 Who thinks something that small is a "fun" size?

Posted by: I gotta ask at November 15, 2026 02:06 PM (2Ez/1)

12 9 Oh you may stray, but you'll always return to your dark master, the cocoa bean. ...

Posted by: 496 at November 15, 2026 02:06 PM (/zWHY)

Cocoa bean > Coffee bean
(I detest Coffee's bitterness)

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at November 15, 2026 02:07 PM (l3cgK)

13 11 Who thinks something that small is a "fun" size?

Posted by: I gotta ask at November 15, 2026 02:06 PM (2Ez/1)

If it's in a single bag, it's a single serving.

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at November 15, 2026 02:07 PM (l3cgK)

14 Chocolate is Life.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at November 15, 2026 02:07 PM (RIvkX)

15 14 Chocolate is Life.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at November 15, 2026 02:07 PM (RIvkX)

After my transplant, my blood pressure dropped low and my magnesium dropped low. Well, Chocolate is a great source of magnesium, so I told my wife the doc wanted me to eat chocolate covered bacon...

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at November 15, 2026 02:08 PM (l3cgK)

16 Lib little sis is stuck in Manhattan she just texted me a pic of an empty wrapper marked Black and White Cookie

Posted by: San Franpsycho at November 15, 2026 02:08 PM (RIvkX)

17 16 Lib little sis is stuck in Manhattan she just texted me a pic of an empty wrapper marked Black and White Cookie

Posted by: San Franpsycho at November 15, 2026 02:08 PM (RIvkX)

So racism and cultural appropriation in one wrapper?

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at November 15, 2026 02:10 PM (l3cgK)

18 9 Oh you may stray, but you'll always return to your dark master, the cocoa bean. ...
Posted by: 496 at November 15, 2026 02:06 PM

LOL!

https://youtu.be/CAR7jqSG46E

Posted by: Classic Kramer at November 15, 2026 02:10 PM (2Ez/1)

19 See, the problem is those "fun-sized" candies.

Like small black holes, their mass is too small and they evaporate into the universe.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at November 15, 2026 02:10 PM (amcLV)

20 Seriously, a 1WP.
Since got this car have only put in middle test gas. As of now getting 31.642 mpg.
On a whim, and chance to get 91 octane real cheap decided to try it for a few tanks worth.
For that bit had 33.20mpg.
Now all trips not same so not sure exact road conditions.
Pretty sure after tomorrow commute for a week or two will be more hi way so will see what changes.

Posted by: Skip at November 15, 2026 02:11 PM (Ia/+0)

21 19 See, the problem is those "fun-sized" candies.

Like small black holes, their mass is too small and they evaporate into the universe.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at November 15, 2026 02:10 PM (amcLV)

Virtual black holes, like virtual particles, pop into, then out of existence, right?

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at November 15, 2026 02:13 PM (l3cgK)

22 17 16 Lib little sis is stuck in Manhattan she just texted me a pic of an empty wrapper marked Black and White Cookie

Posted by: San Franpsycho at November 15, 2026 02:08 PM (RIvkX)

So racism and cultural appropriation in one wrapper?
Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at November 15, 2026 02:10 PM

Look to the cookie, Elaine!

https://youtube.com/shorts/oz9UypRUhac

Posted by: Another obligatory Seinfeld reference at November 15, 2026 02:13 PM (2Ez/1)

23 some sort of candy elf

The Dexcom G3 knows.

Posted by: DaveA at November 15, 2026 02:14 PM (FhXTo)

24 Have to run to Lowes forcwork supply

Posted by: Skip at November 15, 2026 02:14 PM (Ia/+0)

25 I manipulated lib little sis for years with the promise of a chocolate bar.

When she was maybe 7 or 8, she demanded I put up or shut up. So she got her chocolate bar.

And thusly my Big brother magic dissipated like smoke.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at November 15, 2026 02:14 PM (RIvkX)

26 It's not the miles per gallon. It's the dollars per mile.

Posted by: Green Eye Shades at November 15, 2026 02:15 PM (2Ez/1)

Processing 0.01, elapsed 0.0105 seconds.
14 queries taking 0.0051 seconds, 34 records returned.
Page size 30 kb.
Powered by Minx 0.8 beta.