Food Thread: You Say Turkey, I Say Real Meat; One Of Us Is Wrong!

Luckily I am not roasting one of those overrated, boring, lifeless, we-have-turkey-because-we-have always-had-turkey monstrosities.

Hell, it's as bad as your liberal relatives voting Democrat because "Grandpa always voted Democrat, and that's good enough for me."

So...really...if you have turkey for Thanksgiving you are a crypto-communist.

Anyway, I will be making a bone-in pork roast, probably on the rotisserie, and definitely dry-brined with salt, Juniper, Rosemary, and Thyme.

Somebody else is going to bring the overdone/underdone/dry/soggy flightless bird.

******
There is a reason why Purina doesn't make People Chow. Because unlike our dogs and cats and monkeys and gerbils, we can bitch and moan about the taste of our food. And there is absolutely nothing like a good steak. Don't pretend otherwise, and don't try to fake the experience, because you just end up looking like a clown.

These 3D-Printed Steaks Have Marbling, a Meat-Like Texture, and No Actual Meat

Sadly, these Woke cooking and food websites that pimp this sort of sh*t are hell-bent on shoving fake meat down our throats, even when it is obviously disgusting. Hell...the article includes an Instagram review of the fake meat by a Washington Post food writer, and even she can't hide her revulsion!

So...just stop. You aren't fooling anyone.

******

You're damned straight I enjoyed that! A smoked bratwurst from a place I have raved about on many an occasion, and some excellent Polish mustard to go along with it.

There is a huge gulf between good sausages and the mass-market stuff that we can get in our supermarkets. Are they bad? No. But they aren't spectacular, so I think it is worthwhile to seek out a small producer and sample their stuff...you will not regret it!

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I like Garden And Gun because they aren't nearly as aggressively Woke as most food websites and magazines. Here are two articles about Bourbon that I found reasonably useful, and because I have tasted most of these bottles I can confirm that they aren't crap. Give the Gift of Bourbon is useful for people who might not be as nerdy about booze as I am. And Gift-Worthy Bourbons by Grain Profile is simply an interesting and fun way of delineating Bourbon.
******
That bottle was a birthday gift from one of the brats...the one who likes to drink my bourbon! No, I am not suggesting that he bought it because he wants to taste it and he knows I will share it with him. Of course not!

However, coincidentally he was over a few nights ago and I happened to open it. Some of you are familiar with the distillery, which is famous for their high-rye bottlings, but this one was delicate and smooth...very different than what I expected.

I don't know its price point, but it was a very pleasant pour! A bit too smooth for my taste, but that isn't a criticism, just a comment on my palate.

******
This is a crazily specific Mac & Cheese recipe from Alton Brown. His lunacy is on full display here, but it does look like fun, so why the hell not! Mac To Basics looks like fun...once. I doubt it is much better, but it can't hurt to try.

And next week (if I can dig it up) I will link to a video of my favorite internet chefs (the folks from Fallow) making Mac & Cheese...without a Bechamel! Yes, it is via Heston Blumenthal, so it is going to be strange, but it actually does look like it would be quite good!

******
Homemade vanilla ice cream, complete with tons of cream and egg yolks and sugar is a delight! And it is one of the marvelous uses for whole vanilla beans! Or correctly, a whole vanilla bean split down the middle and then scraped clean of the paste.

That went right into the cream, and steeped for an hour or so. But what to do with the used bean? Damned if I know, but the recipe suggested that I make "Vanilla Sugar," whatever that is. And so I did.

Now what? I have no idea what to do with it!

******
The great garlic experiment of 2025-2026 was a resounding...meh. Send all of your excellent home-grown garlic to: cbd dot aoshq at gmail dot com.

About the Bourbon Bubble...I think it has burst, but the category is also suffering from the inflation that affected everything else (Thanks Biden!). I think the sweet spot is still $40-$60 for excellent and interesting bottles, and bumping that to $100 gets you an incremental improvement in quality, but nothing mind-blowing. More than that and I think you are paying for hype and rarity, which may look good in your liquor cabinet, but doesn't translate to more quality in the bottle.

The problem...or the solution...is to buy lots of bourbon, take tasting notes, and eventually arrive at your favorites! It should take forty or fifty years, but it is worth it!

Posted by: CBD at 04:00 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 FOOD!

Posted by: Additional Blond Agent, STEM Guy at November 15, 2026 04:02 PM (iIyc0)

2 Question is scotch before supper or after?

Posted by: Skip at November 15, 2026 04:03 PM (Ia/+0)

3 Nooded.

Now what? I have no idea what to do with it (vanilla sugar)!

Cakes, ice cream, etc.

Posted by: Additional Blond Agent, STEM Guy at November 15, 2026 04:04 PM (iIyc0)

4 Commie.

Fried Turkey for the win. Or Turkey Leg Confit.

Posted by: Pete Bog at November 15, 2026 04:05 PM (Ge5gh)

5 Anyway, I will be making a bone-in pork roast, probably on the rotisserie, and definitely dry-brined with salt, Juniper, Rosemary, and Thyme.

That pork roast looks remarkably like a, wait for it...

A TURKEY

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at November 15, 2026 04:05 PM (guGkK)

6 2 Question is scotch before supper or after?
Posted by: Skip at November 15, 2026 04:03 PM (Ia/+0)
----------
EMBRACE THE POWER OF "AND!"

Posted by: All together now at November 15, 2026 04:05 PM (wqBfv)

7 There's a Butterball out there somewhere with my oven's name on it.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at November 15, 2026 04:05 PM (guGkK)

8 >>> 2 Question is scotch before supper or after?
Posted by: Skip at November 15, 2026 04:03 PM (Ia/+0)

Yes.

Posted by: Helena Handbasket at November 15, 2026 04:06 PM (PgV1+)

9 Whistle Pig, Angel's Envy, Woodford Reserve.

Yes, please.

Posted by: Additional Blond Agent, STEM Guy at November 15, 2026 04:06 PM (iIyc0)

10 I am having one of those boring turkeys, because when I asked my kids and nephew if they wanted that, or our eclectic pot lucks, they said "why not both?"

So I get to cook a turkey. Yay.

Posted by: Dash my lace wigs! at November 15, 2026 04:07 PM (CjHsb)

11 Somebody else is going to bring the overdone/underdone/dry/soggy flightless bird.

You East Coast people eat penguin?

I guess it's to be expected, though, given the lack of readily-accessed Texas-style BBQ brisket.

You don't *have* to live in such a food desert you know, CBD.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at November 15, 2026 04:08 PM (0sNs1)

12 Doing Thanksgiving with the relatives, so no turkey on that day.

OTOH, I suspect there might be some sales after the fact, so the turkey will get bought then. Cook it, take the meat and also make turkey soup. Gonna be tasty.

Posted by: Additional Blond Agent, STEM Guy at November 15, 2026 04:09 PM (iIyc0)

13 C'mon down and watch our readily-viewable wild turkeys, CBD, and you're realize they're not flightless birds.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at November 15, 2026 04:10 PM (0sNs1)

14 I picked up a Bulleit 10-year right last week. Very smooth. It's pricey, $47, so I won't get it often. But I will get it again.

Posted by: Dash my lace wigs! at November 15, 2026 04:11 PM (CjHsb)

15 So...really...if you have turkey for Thanksgiving you are a crypto-communist.

That escalated quickly.

Posted by: mikeski at November 15, 2026 04:12 PM (VHUov)

16 Question is scotch before supper or after?
Posted by: Skip

Yes.
Posted by: Helena Handbasket

"During" is also a valid ~~choice~~ addition.

Posted by: mikeski at November 15, 2026 04:13 PM (VHUov)

17 Salad, ham slice and rice , easy tonight

Posted by: Skip at November 15, 2026 04:14 PM (Ia/+0)

18 10 year rye. Bulleit.

F**k you, autocorrect.

Posted by: Dash my lace wigs! at November 15, 2026 04:14 PM (CjHsb)

19 Begun the Turkey Wars have.

Posted by: Yoda at November 15, 2026 04:15 PM (wqBfv)

20 C'mon down and watch our readily-viewable wild turkeys, CBD, and you're realize they're not flightless birds.
Posted by: Duncanthrax

Pfft. The only reason you see them perched in trees is because kids throw them up there. Then they're stuck and can't get back down, like housecats.

Posted by: mikeski at November 15, 2026 04:15 PM (VHUov)

21 Leftover sweet and sour chicken tonight. Cupcake for dessert.

Posted by: Tuna at November 15, 2026 04:16 PM (lJ0H4)

22 Now what? I have no idea what to do with it!

I'm sure there's a cocktail or twelve that call for vanilla sugar.

Though maybe only ones that sorority girls drink.

Posted by: mikeski at November 15, 2026 04:16 PM (VHUov)

23 Whistlepig? It's on the top shelf in my local store, but isn't insanely expensive.

Fun fact, "whistlepig" is a nickname for the eastern woodchuck, and is also applied to a much smaller ground squirrel in southern Idaho.

Posted by: Idaho Spudboy at November 15, 2026 04:17 PM (/sheW)

24 CBD, until you depart that horrid food desert, here's some relief. This restaurant is getting good reviews even here in Texas. It does have good DNA:

https://tinyurl.com/39pkeade

Posted by: Duncanthrax at November 15, 2026 04:17 PM (0sNs1)

25 Tamnuvalin it is

Posted by: Skip at November 15, 2026 04:18 PM (Ia/+0)

26 [Whistlepig bourbon]
but this one was delicate and smooth...very different than what I expected.
Posted by: CBD

I have a bottle of their "Piggyback" 6-year bourbon. "Delicate and smooth" is one way to describe it. "Cloyingly sweet" is another. Hopefully yours isn't that.

Posted by: mikeski at November 15, 2026 04:20 PM (VHUov)

27 That pork roast looks remarkably like a, wait for it...

A TURKEY

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at November 15, 2026 04:05 PM (guGkK)

It's a 3D printed pork roast!

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at November 15, 2026 04:20 PM (k5CNB)

28 Cook the turkey breast side down after apply copious amounts of butter, garlic, onion powder, salt, pepper, celery seed, sage, cayenne and paprika. Flip to breast side up for the last 15-20 minutes of cooking. no dry turkey! And lots of flavor in the drippings for a fantastic gravy!!

Are there acceptable vanilla liquors with which to use the vanilla sugar in some fashion? Maybe a vanilla simple syrup for cocktails? I vaguely remember having an after dinner liqueur that was based on vanilla that was from Mexico, and it was lovely, but don't recall the name.

Posted by: Moki at November 15, 2026 04:20 PM (wLjpr)

29 You don't *have* to live in such a food desert you know, CBD.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at November 15, 2026 04:08 PM (0sNs1)

Unlike Texas, we can only get frozen penguin.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at November 15, 2026 04:21 PM (k5CNB)

30 I just remembered, I still have six quart containers of turkey broth sitting in my deep freeze, from last year's bird.

Posted by: Idaho Spudboy at November 15, 2026 04:22 PM (/sheW)

31 Tamnuvalin it is
Posted by: Skip

That sounds like a blood-pressure medication.

Oh, wait, it is.

Posted by: mikeski at November 15, 2026 04:22 PM (VHUov)

32 I just made creamy pumpkin pasta:

https://tinyurl.com/ypaz6xxx

I had all the ingredients and the flavors meld together nicely.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at November 15, 2026 04:22 PM (kpS4V)

33 C'mon down and watch our readily-viewable wild turkeys, CBD, and you're realize they're not flightless birds.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at November 15, 2026 04:10 PM (0sNs1)

I shot a very-well-fed (Northern CA grapes) wild turkey, and while it was okay, it wasn't nearly worth the trouble of cleaning it.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at November 15, 2026 04:23 PM (k5CNB)

34 Pfft. The only reason you see them perched in trees is because kids throw them up there. Then they're stuck and can't get back down, like housecats.
Posted by: mikeski at November 15, 2026 04:15 PM

That's not true, at least for the hens.

Last year we had 9 toms strutting behind 15 or twenty hens, who were paying them zero attention. The toms were really putting on a show. The hens worked their way across our property, and one by one, flew over a fence to one of our neighbors. The toms kept up their displays until all had flown over the fence.

They kept 'parading' more and more dispiritedly for a while, and then gave up and dispersed.

I'm not sure of which 6 of the 6-6-6 they were missing, but clearly the hens did.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at November 15, 2026 04:23 PM (0sNs1)

35
As I mentioned last week, there are delightful smoked turkeys available here in Texas-

And they are generously offered via mail order to deprived Northerners and even clinically insane East and West Coasters.

Whether you like turkey or not, treat yourself to one of these delightful avians.

BONUS! The best leftovers and turkey sandwiches evah!!!

Posted by: naturalfake at November 15, 2026 04:24 PM (YSUhf)

36 A properly Texas Hill Country smoked turkey is juicy and flavorful. And since most of Texas is still Conservative, calling us crypto- communist is an insult that could get you, CBD, a Texas slap down.

Posted by: BillB at November 15, 2026 04:24 PM (Gz/2A)

37 If you're looking for a true flightless bird for your Thanksgiving feast, might I suggest an Emu?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at November 15, 2026 04:25 PM (guGkK)

38 I made turkey a couple weeks ago...it was inhaled at my house. I'm not sure why making a turkey seems so hard. If you can roast a chicken, you can roast a turkey.

I admit, the gravy is a little harder, but it isn't rocket science.

Yes, we're having turkey at Thanksgving here...from now until forever

Posted by: Nova Local at November 15, 2026 04:25 PM (Gb7+b)

39 37 If you're looking for a true flightless bird for your Thanksgiving feast, might I suggest an Emu?
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at November 15, 2026 04:25 PM (guGkK)
-------------------
WHAT?????

*faints dead away*

Posted by: Doug at November 15, 2026 04:26 PM (wqBfv)

40 Roasted Turkey is awful.

Spare me the “you haven’t tasted
MIIIIINE!”

Tasteless crap. Spatchcocked and smoked is good, but you can’t eat the skin because it’s horrid.

Id rather have a prime rib.

Posted by: nurse ratched at November 15, 2026 04:27 PM (yEz+x)

41 Luckily I am not roasting one of those overrated, boring, lifeless, we-have-turkey-because-we-have always-had-turkey monstrosities.

________________________

Turkey, as always, last year this year and next year. BUT, it's not a traditional conformity. I REALLY HATE THE BASTARDS WHEN THEY ARE ALIVE.

For clarification, I'm talking about wild turkeys. I have a lot of them always roaming through my property. They are NASTY, ILL TEMPERED A$$HOLES. They will chase you. They will chase the dog. They will claim ownership of boundaries, and have absolutely no qualms about staking out the back patio if the mood takes them. I have had the ingrates actually attack my car by pecking the tires.

The are motivated little $HITS. And, it gives me great pleasure to eat them just to show them that manners count.

Posted by: Orson at November 15, 2026 04:27 PM (dIske)

42 My mother never made Bechamel for mac n cheese. She used milk and an egg, layered macaroni with shredded cheddar, and poured the milk and egg over it all, along with salt, pepper, dry mustard, and then bread crumbs over the top. More like a souffle, but without the souffle hassle. It was lovely stuff. Unfortunately, DH is allergic to egg, so I can't make it any more.

Posted by: tcn in AK at November 15, 2026 04:27 PM (EVsM3)

43 Tonight is beef kielbasa (spouse did another freezer dive and that was the item needing cooking) with a chopped vegetable salad (romaine, carrot, cucumber and celery), a fruit salad (pineapple, blueberries, and red grapes), and a toasted baguette.

Simple, tasty food.

Posted by: Nova Local at November 15, 2026 04:28 PM (Gb7+b)

44 These 3D-Printed Steaks Have Marbling, a Meat-Like Texture, and No Actual Meat

You can accurately replace "3D-Printed" with "extruded" to give the product the respect it deserves.

Posted by: mikeski at November 15, 2026 04:28 PM (VHUov)

45 FOOD HUMOR ... If in need of a chuckle or two, check out some of the YT videos by "JOLLY" (two British guys named Josh and Ollie) ... Many of the videos feature them introducing American foods to either UK high school students or UK senior citizens ... More than a few are centered around full Thanksgiving meals (including one with John Cena mentioning his most favorite Banoffee pie, which looks scrumptious BTW).

Posted by: Kathy at November 15, 2026 04:29 PM (MOK4W)

46 I shot a very-well-fed (Northern CA grapes) wild turkey, and while it was okay, it wasn't nearly worth the trouble of cleaning it.
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at November 15, 2026 04:23 PM

Willy Bird Turkeys (https://www.williebird.com/), a hatchery/turkey ranch out side of Sebastopol CA (just west of Santa Rosa) has the best tasting turkey I've ever had. Zero need to brine. Oven or smoker, the best.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at November 15, 2026 04:29 PM (0sNs1)

47 Y’all with your lack of Cajun turkey brines and spices and fryers. Never dry, always yummy.

Tonight we are doing chicken stir fry. It’s fast, it’s easy. I need to use up veggies before the next batch gets here tomorrow.

Posted by: Piper at November 15, 2026 04:29 PM (ZdaMQ)

48 Total Wine shows that bottle of WhistlePig for $64.99

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at November 15, 2026 04:31 PM (Cqx++)

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