Daily Tech News 23 October 2026

Top Story

PHP is the cyber equivalent of an unexploded bomb. (BBC)

That's a little unfair. Unexploded bombs have, by definition, not exploded.

PHP has logged 697 security vulnerabilities to date.

Tech News

BeIN, a Qatari company with offices in France sued Quad9, a Swiss company operating a central DNS service, to force it to block DNS lookups for people looking for pirate streams of the content BeIN hosts. A French court just ruled in BeIN's favour.

So Quad9 blocked France. (Quad9)

Jumanji.
Google has found a way to shed unattractive weight without dangerous drugs, tiresome exercise, or unfair dismissal lawsuits. (BBC)

Should have started doing this twenty years ago. It's probably too late now.
GitLab. (The Register)

A 10.0 severity security hole that has existed in all versions since 2014.
Mark Zuckerberg plans to keep living in California and have Facebook shareholders pay the dystopian communist nation's wealth tax. (Tech Crunch)

It's dystopian communism all the way down.
The Pentagon has given the DHS permission to try out death lasers on illegal immigrants at the border. (CNN)

Effects reportedly include a tingling, burning sensation, an instinctive compulsion to flee, and instantaneous incineration. Neat.

Musical Interlude

Disclaimer: This one goes up to eleven. That's one vulnerabler.

Posted by: Pixy Misa at 04:00 AM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 w00t

Posted by: m at October 23, 2026 04:00 AM (odBC9)

2 Couldn't sleep...will try again.

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at October 23, 2026 04:08 AM (l3cgK)

3 G'Day everyone
TGIF and a lot closer to home today

Posted by: Skip at October 23, 2026 04:08 AM (Ia/+0)

4 You just know there was at least one colonel working on his slide deck for that project who despaired because the acronym SCRAM was already taken for some crummy airplane motor doohicky, so he couldn't use it for his beaner zapper project.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at October 23, 2026 04:11 AM (aKiSo)

5 Couldn't sleep...will try again.
Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at October 23, 2026 04:08 AM (l3cgK)

Try counting llamas if the sheep aren't working.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at October 23, 2026 04:14 AM (aKiSo)

6 "Strongly Collimated Radiation Array ...uhhh...Motherf---"

"COLONEL! NO!!!!"

"Ahhhh, crap. You guys are boring, I should have joined the Marines."

Posted by: Warai-otoko at October 23, 2026 04:18 AM (aKiSo)

7
Well, that was a heck of a rant I posted right before pixy showed up! I'll save it for later today.

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at October 23, 2026 04:24 AM (mmrXZ)

8 Huh. You get one free BBC article and then you have to subscribe. Oh well.

Posted by: Additional Blond Agent at October 23, 2026 04:25 AM (iIyc0)

9 >>>The Pentagon has given the DHS permission to try out death lasers on illegal immigrants at the border. (CNN)

hmm

Posted by: m at October 23, 2026 04:30 AM (odBC9)

10
lol "death lasers."

It's for use on giant crowds, so... the warmth of collectivism.

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at October 23, 2026 04:31 AM (mmrXZ)

11 8 Huh. You get one free BBC article and then you have to subscribe. Oh well.
Posted by: Additional Blond Agent at October 23, 2026 04:25 AM (iIyc0)

Goodbye to them!

Posted by: m at October 23, 2026 04:31 AM (odBC9)

12 8 Huh. You get one free BBC article and then you have to subscribe. Oh well.
Posted by: Additional Blond Agent at October 23, 2026 04:25 AM (iIyc0)

That's a great model for nice things that anyone would actually want. Like cookies. Or heroin.

Not so much for chat-bot written fake news in a south asian accent.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at October 23, 2026 04:31 AM (aKiSo)

13 It's for use on giant crowds, so... the warmth of collectivism.
Posted by: Blonde Morticia at October 23, 2026 04:31 AM (mmrXZ)

(coffee snort)

Posted by: Warai-otoko at October 23, 2026 04:32 AM (aKiSo)

14 7
Well, that was a heck of a rant I posted right before pixy showed up! I'll save it for later today.
Posted by: Blonde Morticia at October 23, 2026 04:24 AM (mmrXZ)

On the ONT? I don't see it.

Posted by: m at October 23, 2026 04:32 AM (odBC9)

15 BOING!

Crazy woman posts wise life lesson:

https://tinyurl.com/f5ww26dh

Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at October 23, 2026 04:33 AM (i2Ycu)

16
Zuckerberg ought to leave the state and fly in to work every day.

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at October 23, 2026 04:33 AM (mmrXZ)

17 12 8 Huh. You get one free BBC article and then you have to subscribe. Oh well.
Posted by: Additional Blond Agent at October 23, 2026 04:25 AM (iIyc0)

That's a great model for nice things that anyone would actually want. Like cookies. Or heroin.

Not so much for chat-bot written fake news in a south asian accent.
Posted by: Warai-otoko at October 23, 2026 04:31 AM (aKiSo)

I'll miss their unbiased headlines.

Posted by: m at October 23, 2026 04:33 AM (odBC9)

18 14 7
Well, that was a heck of a rant I posted right before pixy showed up! I'll save it for later today.
Posted by: Blonde Morticia at October 23, 2026 04:24 AM (mmrXZ)

On the ONT? I don't see it.
Posted by: m at October 23, 2026 04:32 AM (odBC9)

Now I see it! (I hadn't hit refresh.)

Posted by: m at October 23, 2026 04:35 AM (odBC9)

19 18 14 7
Well, that was a heck of a rant I posted right before pixy showed up! I'll save it for later today.
Posted by: Blonde Morticia at October 23, 2026 04:24 AM (mmrXZ)

On the ONT? I don't see it.
Posted by: m at October 23, 2026 04:32 AM (odBC9)

Now I see it! (I hadn't hit refresh.)
Posted by: m at October 23, 2026 04:35 AM (odBC9)

It's a good one!

Posted by: m at October 23, 2026 04:36 AM (odBC9)

20 "California is a state dedicated to the comfort of the worst titans bestriding an ever-more fake society, amassing wealth through the abject penury of everyone else."

"So you're leaving?"

"Heck nah, bro. This is great!"

Posted by: Warai-otoko at October 23, 2026 04:36 AM (aKiSo)

21 Mornin'

Posted by: Puddleglum at work at October 23, 2026 04:36 AM (s1NDj)

22 Have Starbux Morning Blend coffee, is that strong

Posted by: Skip at October 23, 2026 04:51 AM (Ia/+0)

23 Zuckerberg should buy some land and build a compound in or near Reno. Plenty of folks commute over the CA-NV state line. Pretty straight shot to the Bay Area on days he needs to be in the office.

Posted by: Epobirs at October 23, 2026 04:54 AM (/0z9K)

24 Have Starbux Morning Blend coffee, is that strong
Posted by: Skip

Breakfast Blend. People assume it's a low caffeine blend. It's not.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at October 23, 2026 04:59 AM (nEUC6)

25 https://tinyurl.com/45d7fbj7
Thought this YouTube short was funny, 3 older guys walking into heaven

Posted by: Skip at October 23, 2026 05:00 AM (Ia/+0)

26 Breakfast Blend. People assume it's a low caffeine blend. It's not.
Posted by: weft cut-loop at October 23, 2026 04:59 AM (nEUC6)

Lighter roasts tend to have more caffeine than darker roasts

Posted by: Warai-otoko at October 23, 2026 05:01 AM (aKiSo)

27
It's a good one!
Posted by: m

===========

haha! thank you. I'm so pathetic, I was driving home thinking "I'm gonna post about this on ace!!!"

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at October 23, 2026 05:01 AM (mmrXZ)

28 In followups to Larry Niven's essay, 'Another Modest Proposal', there emerged the idea of using the border as a nuclear waste dump, with signage in many languages reading IF YOU CROSS THIS LINE YOU WILL DIE.

https://tinyurl.com/4fpy53ry

Posted by: Epobirs at October 23, 2026 05:01 AM (/0z9K)

29 25 https://tinyurl.com/45d7fbj7
Thought this YouTube short was funny, 3 older guys walking into heaven
Posted by: Skip at October 23, 2026 05:00 AM (Ia/+0)

; )

Posted by: m at October 23, 2026 05:03 AM (odBC9)

30 Securing a border has never really been a technical problem. At least not since the first humans learned to stack rocks and swing a fist.

There is no technology barrier to securing a border. The only problem is the willingness to do it, and to devote the resources needed to do it.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at October 23, 2026 05:04 AM (aKiSo)

31
g'mornin', 'rons

Posted by: AltonJackson at October 23, 2026 05:06 AM (AMvSw)

32 beIN, a Qatari company with offices in France, previously sought to force Quad9 to block resolution for a set of domain names they assert are participating in copyright infringement of its audiovisual rights on sports event broadcasts. Quad9 has no association with these domain names, nor with the operators of the websites. The French courts have fundamentally misunderstood the working of the internet and the role of the domain name system and have allowed a financial penalty to apply to Quad9 if we do not block DNS responses to users in France.

It's a ridiculous ruling from idiotic bureaucrats pretending to be judges.

Instead of going after the owners of the offending domain, and the server hosting it to make them take the site down, they decide, Italian style, to just make a company block the DNS resolve.

Why?
Because it's easier on them that way.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at October 23, 2026 05:06 AM (6ydKt)

33 I see Daylight Fking time is supposed to end next weekend, hope its the last time for clock changes

Posted by: Skip at October 23, 2026 05:12 AM (Ia/+0)

34 Immigration Reform has always been " How can we make it easier to get the Illegals faster"

Posted by: Skip at October 23, 2026 05:13 AM (Ia/+0)

35 9 >>>The Pentagon has given the DHS permission to try out death lasers on illegal immigrants at the border. (CNN)

hmm
Posted by: m at October 23, 2026 04:30 AM (odBC9)

LOL I thought you were being Pixily snarky, but that summary kinda matches the CNN headline!

Pentagon grants DHS permission to test heat ray weapon for potential use at border

Posted by: m at October 23, 2026 05:13 AM (odBC9)

36 CNN: The heat ray, officially known as the Active Denial System, is a nonlethal weapon that shoots an invisible beam of electromagnetic waves that can reach a little more than half a mile away, according to the US military.

It's like a heat ray
Burning in my heart
Can't keep from crying
It's tearing me apart

Posted by: m at October 23, 2026 05:16 AM (odBC9)

37 Microwaved burritos.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at October 23, 2026 05:18 AM (aKiSo)

38 CNN: The Pentagon has given the Department of Homeland Security permission to test a military-grade heat ray and develop tactics to potentially use it in operations at the southern US border, according to a memo signed by Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth last month and obtained by CNN.

Might lure more young male gamers to join the cause.

Posted by: m at October 23, 2026 05:20 AM (odBC9)

39 It's striking that Google doesn't control how its products are used by the Pentagon.
Software companies expect that they will be able to control their "customers" through licenses and subscriptions and are frustrated by such exceptions.
The Pentagon is an actual customer, the rest of us are serfs.

Posted by: PG at October 23, 2026 05:21 AM (p8CCI)

40 37 Microwaved burritos.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at October 23, 2026 05:18 AM (aKiSo)

Which means they'll come out of the desert wet, soggy, with both ends busted open and insides flowing out onto the bottom of the microwave.

I'd rather air-fry them
(the burritos and the Mexicans)

Posted by: SpeakingOf at October 23, 2026 05:21 AM (6ydKt)

41 Whoever the first E-3 who gets chewed out for heating up his lunch with the Microwave Death Ray ought to get a statue made of him.

(There is zero probability it will be a "her".)

Posted by: Warai-otoko at October 23, 2026 05:22 AM (aKiSo)

42 Just aim the laser at the Rio and get it up to a nice scalding temperature. Should do the trick.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at October 23, 2026 05:24 AM (aKiSo)

43 CNN: The energy beam causes a burning sensation when it comes into contact with the human skin — which Pentagon officials have previously compared to feeling a blast of heat when opening a hot oven. Military officials have said the resulting “tingling effect” lasts between 10 and 15 minutes but also generates “an instinctive and irresistible urge to run from the effect.”

Like tear gas.

Posted by: m at October 23, 2026 05:26 AM (odBC9)

44 CNN: Deploying the heat ray at the US border would be an unprecedented step, even for the Trump administration

"even for the Trump administration"

To be fair (I'm not sure why I should be), there's a bit more context for that:

Deploying the heat ray at the US border would be an unprecedented step, even for the Trump administration, which has made border security and clamping down on immigration a top priority.

Posted by: m at October 23, 2026 05:27 AM (odBC9)

45 Sofia Liguori, a London-based research engineer, is one of them. She resigned from Google DeepMind this week and spoke about her concerns exclusively with the BBC, despite her contract restricting her from doing so.

"Realising my company is pushing more and more for AI systems in military operations makes me feel ashamed to work at Google," Liguori said, speaking in a personal capacity.

You worked for Google, which means you had no shame to begin with.

You worked with AI, yet have this strange idea that AI will never be used by a military, which is naive at best and idiotic at worst.

Now you are going to be an activist and protest by quitting your job as if Google didn't replace you the next day.

And that's where I stopped reading because I've got more important things to do than read whining from people making good money at Google quitting because Google made a decision that goes against their bleeding heart fashionable opinions.

Disposable people with luxury problems.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at October 23, 2026 05:28 AM (6ydKt)

46 "We'll build a wall."

"You can't do that, racist!!!!"

"OK, fine, weirdo. We'll use microwave death lasers instead. Always a problem with you people, isn't it? Could just have a nice simple wall, but nooooooo, you need to have death lasers involved."

Posted by: Warai-otoko at October 23, 2026 05:28 AM (aKiSo)

47 And that's where I stopped reading because I've got more important things to do than read whining from people making good money at Google quitting because Google made a decision that goes against their bleeding heart fashionable opinions.

Disposable people with luxury problems.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at October 23, 2026 05:28 AM (6ydKt)

She surely didn't quit a largely do-nothing job that makes great money just to sit on her ass and bitch for free....

Posted by: Warai-otoko at October 23, 2026 05:29 AM (aKiSo)

48 46 "We'll build a wall."

"You can't do that, racist!!!!"

"OK, fine, weirdo. We'll use microwave death lasers instead. Always a problem with you people, isn't it? Could just have a nice simple wall, but nooooooo, you need to have death lasers involved."
Posted by: Warai-otoko at October 23, 2026 05:28 AM (aKiSo)

Maybe electric fences, like what keeps livestock "fenced."

Posted by: m at October 23, 2026 05:29 AM (odBC9)

49 (There is zero probability it will be a "her".)

Posted by: Warai-otoko at October 23, 2026 05:22 AM (aKiSo)

Of course not.
The her will wait until the him does it first just to see what the results will be, then if the coast is clear she'll try it herself after yelling at him for mansplaining it to her.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at October 23, 2026 05:29 AM (6ydKt)

50 "OK, fine, weirdo. We'll use microwave death lasers instead. Always a problem with you people, isn't it? Could just have a nice simple wall, but nooooooo, you need to have death lasers involved."
Posted by: Warai-otoko at October 23, 2026 05:28 AM (aKiSo)
-----
By strange coincidence, a migrant caravan is heading our way. Test subjects?

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at October 23, 2026 05:30 AM (FZ29D)

51 45 Sofia Liguori, a London-based research engineer, is one of them. She resigned from Google DeepMind this week and spoke about her concerns exclusively with the BBC, despite her contract restricting her from doing so.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at October 23, 2026 05:28 AM (6ydKt)

Should cost her some £££.

Posted by: m at October 23, 2026 05:31 AM (odBC9)

52 50 "OK, fine, weirdo. We'll use microwave death lasers instead. Always a problem with you people, isn't it? Could just have a nice simple wall, but nooooooo, you need to have death lasers involved."
Posted by: Warai-otoko at October 23, 2026 05:28 AM (aKiSo)
-----
By strange coincidence, a migrant caravan is heading our way. Test subjects?
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at October 23, 2026 05:30 AM (FZ29D)

"Shit, sarge. I think they're Irish.... Where's the Potato button on this thing?"

Posted by: Warai-otoko at October 23, 2026 05:31 AM (aKiSo)

53 Excellently done 5 minute clip:

Capitalism has a win condition. Socialism does not.

https://tinyurl.com/3bmf9dpd

Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at October 23, 2026 05:34 AM (i2Ycu)

54 Man from Texas talks about Hebrews 4:14-16, "Jesus and me" and his cancer treatments:

https://tinyurl.com/jvbsz4pj

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at October 23, 2026 05:34 AM (JrHfD)

55 I mean, it's probably infrared, not microwave...

But microwaves have far more comedic potential.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at October 23, 2026 05:35 AM (aKiSo)

56 >>>The heat ray, officially known as the Active Denial System

ADS.

Aw, man, they missed a great acronym by not having a word beginning with N at the front of ADS.

Posted by: m at October 23, 2026 05:36 AM (odBC9)

57 Morning, Tech Peeps

Posted by: fluffy at October 23, 2026 05:36 AM (V0/Sp)

58 52 50 "Shit, sarge. I think they're Irish.... Where's the Potato button on this thing?"
Posted by: Warai-otoko at October 23, 2026 05:31 AM (aKiSo)

Sir, this is a Wendy's.

Posted by: m at October 23, 2026 05:36 AM (odBC9)

59 G'mornin' everyone!

Happy Friday!

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at October 23, 2026 05:38 AM (VyBeY)

60 Very Short video on "evolution of dance 1950's through now. Two men look like they're having fun dancing. Faithpot site:

https://tinyurl.com/3jh66cta

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at October 23, 2026 05:39 AM (JrHfD)

61 Ground-based Tingly Field Ordinance?

Posted by: Warai-otoko at October 23, 2026 05:39 AM (aKiSo)

62 And stop at donut shop
Cherry cheese, my favorite

Posted by: Skip at October 23, 2026 05:41 AM (ZrWog)

63 @4/Warai-otok: "You just know there was at least one colonel working on his slide deck for that project who despaired because the acronym SCRAM was already taken for some crummy airplane motor doohicky, so he couldn't use it for his beaner zapper project."

FRY ( Forward Radiation Yeeter )

Posted by: Grumpy and Recalcitrant, a Moron behind enemy lines at October 23, 2026 05:42 AM (O7YUW)

64 Capitalism has a win condition. Socialism does not.

Brilliantly simple

Posted by: fluffy at October 23, 2026 05:44 AM (V0/Sp)

65 microwave-based? Faraday suit.

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at October 23, 2026 05:44 AM (VyBeY)

66 Pixy, I think this sums up a lot about recent net vulnerabilities:

Black October

https://tinyurl.com/43sv7ekv

Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at October 23, 2026 05:47 AM (i2Ycu)

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