The Millionaire Tech Weirdo Who Says His Biohacking Will Grant Him Immortality Finds a New Way to Weird You Out

A couple of weeks ago I spoke casually about supplementing potassium. A commenter chided me for speaking about taking a supplement that could lead to hyperkalemia, which at high enough levels can be fatal. Or just cause you neurological damage.

I also have been watching Elementary and noticed someone was murdered by an injections of potassium chloride, which caused a heart attack.

So... don't take much potassium as a supplement. There's a reason the pills you can buy only have 3% of the USRDA of potassium.

On to the story:

This is the guy with a full scientific/medical lab in his house who does multiple analyses of his blood and biological fluids every single day.

His theory is that science is approaching the point where it could reverse aging, so if he can just extend his life to, say, 120, he will become immortal. He's said something to the effect of "these will be the last generations to know death." Or something like that, less poetical.

Among his tests: He wears some kind of a genital cuff around his dong at night because nighttime erections have been linked to longevity.

His "girlfriend," who seems nearly as weird as he is, wants in on this too.

So she tracks her own "nighttime erections" with an electronic tampon.

I'm staring to think this guy might be a flake.

A device that measures nighttime female "erections" to gauge longevity? Now that's a biohacker's wet dream.
Every night, Kate Tolo inserts a $15,700 "research grade erection device" into what her boyfriend and business partner, biohacker Bryan Johnson, famously called her "top 1%" vagina.
In fact, both of them wear an erection tracker nightly. Johnson says he's looking to maintain healthy erections, which some experts agree is a predictor of longevity for men.
And Tolo -- despite not having a penis -- wants in on the action.

Atoms Family Values

Tolo says women get "erections" too -- and it's possible that tracking them could give ladies similar longevity insights.

I'll spare you the details but the science says the Little Man in the Prow of the Boat stands up a couple of times per night.

"The light sensor inside my probe is the same kind smartwatches use to read your heart rate," she explained.
...
Tolo's vaginal "erection" data is not easy to get. Her device costs $15,723.68 and is like "lab equipment in my bedroom," she said.
"I insert the 5cm probe [and] tape a wire to my leg that is plugged into a machine and a laptop. The laptop can't fall asleep or we lose the data. I sadly learned that through experience."
Meanwhile, Johnson's can be bought online for $275 and connects to a smartphone.
"I've tracked my nighttime erections for years ... It's one of the best signals I have for vascular health, and it costs $275," Johnson said. "The gap in our devices sums up the current status of female health.
...
Tolo has been outspoken about the disparity in research on women's health.
This year, she created "the female protocol" to measure 1,900 biomarkers across blood, urine, stool and vaginal microbiome, while holding diet, sleep and exercise constant.

The happy couple is all smiles as they show off their genital probes:

On to some health-related stories:

Commenters have pointed out what they believe is the explanation for Talarico's Dozen Days of Disappearance.

Sexually-transmitted diarrhea.

You don't have to be a pioneer on the Oregon Trail to catch the bug that causes dysentery.
Nowadays, the infection is spreading more through sex -- and evolving into something that's "close to untreatable," one expert said.
Shigella bacteria infect nearly half a million people in the US every year -- causing diarrhea with blood or mucus (the hallmark of a dysentery infection), stomach pain, cramps, fever and vomiting.
Scientists are learning more about why the disturbing disease is spreading so quickly, and why it's developing a resistance to treatment.
Shigella is a nasty illness that causes more than uncomfortable doo-doos. It can become life-threatening by dehydrating and depleting bodily fluids including blood, causing bacterial and septic shock, neurological complications, and internal bleeding and infection.
The bacteria spreads through infected poop that gets into the mouth because of ill-washed hands, or swallowing tainted food or water. A minuscule amount -- as few as 10 organisms -- is enough to get you sick.
The population most likely to get infected are children under 5, who catch it at day care and schools from other kids who are just starting to learn about keeping themselves clean. Travelers to places where sanitation standards are lower, and people experiencing homelessness are also at higher risk.

Are normal incandescent light bulbs coming back?

The swap from incandescent to LED bulbs became mandatory, thanks to a 2007 energy bill signed by George W. Bush. With a simple pitch that left little room for argument, the efficiency rules in the bill quietly dimmed the incandescent bulb out of existence, clearing the way to replace it with LED bulbs....

Indeed, the concern over LED light is mainstream and growing. Dr. Glen Jeffery at UCL's Institute of Ophthalmology has found that the blue-heavy light from typical LEDs lowers the membrane potential in our mitochondria, thus impacting the electrical charge that lets our mitochondria produce ATP, the energy currency of the cell. Along with that, blue light in the evening suppresses melatonin and disrupts circadian rhythms, which in turn affects sleep, hormone balance, and overnight cellular repair. And studies on animals reveal that blue light causes retinal damage. Eye damage is significant because half of the human brain is wired, either directly or indirectly, to process what it receives through the eyes. Stare too long at a device and, yes, your eyes are wrecked. Think about it. The notion that it was safe to rewire the light--swap out the bulb--in every home, school, office, street, and so on, and see absolutely no biological cost is absurd.
Dr. Jack Kruse and others in the holistic world have been warning us about this for years. Kruse maintains that light, not food, is the master signal for human health.

🚨 The government pushed incandescent bulbs out. Now the Department of Energy is backing their return.
Why? The science around artificial light, blue-light exposure, and what it may mean for our eyes and health is becoming impossible to ignore.
Four states are already issuing guidance for schools. But what are they recommending, and why isn’t everyone being told? Watch the clip 👇
Watch The Download every Monday at 5 PM PT/8 PM ET, right here on X or at https://t.co/Z12xa0teO7⁠!
— The HighWire (@HighWireTalk) September 29, 2026

Good news for those who try to get 10,000 steps per day -- 7,000 steps (which is much more achievable, as you get 2-3000 just by normally puttering around) delivers most of the benefits of 10,000.

But according to a recent Lancet Public Health study, which analyzed data from more than 110,000 people, taking 7,000 steps offered the same health benefits as 10,000 steps, including a lower risk of all-cause mortality, reduced cardiovascular risk, and even a decreased risk of developing dementia.
This made me question everything. Was I overdoing it for no reason? And where did the 10,000-step rule even come from?

As it turns out, the 10,000-step benchmark wasn't based on science. It originated in Japan in the 1960s, when a pedometer company called Yamasa created a product named "manpo-kei," which translates to "10,000-step meter." The catchy number stuck -- and so did the idea that 10,000 was the gold standard.
...

I didn't realize how obsessed I'd become with the number on my watch until I started skipping the gym on days when I hit my 10,000 steps early. I'd feel like I'd done enough just because my step count was high -- even if I hadn't lifted weights in weeks or eaten a proper meal.
This kind of tunnel vision is what Ogden cautions against.
"Fitness isn't one-dimensional," she says. "Just because you're active doesn't mean you're well-rounded in your routine. Are you working on your strength? Your mobility? Your cardiovascular health?"
She often sees clients who walk 10,000 steps a day but can't carry groceries or struggle to get off the floor. "That tells me there's a gap in functional fitness," she says. "Movement needs to support your life, not just your metrics."
Strength-based exercises like planks are a key part of long-term fitness and longevity.
...
In other words, if swimming, yoga, or pilates fits more easily into your lifestyle, and are more enjoyable, those activities may provide greater benefits than forcing extra steps just to hit 10,000.

Speaking of strength training: a mouse-based study found that just seven days of strength training triggered fat burning and weight loss.

The study, published in the journal Life Sciences, isolated the biological impacts of exercise from the secondary changes triggered by dropping pounds. Researchers fed male mice a high-fat diet to induce obesity, then divided them into a sedentary group and an exercising group. Both groups continued eating the high-fat diet to ensure physical activity was the only difference between them.
...
The experiment also included a group of mice fed a standard diet. To simulate strength training, the exercising animals climbed a staircase 70 centimeters, or about 28 inches, high with weights attached to their tails. They trained at 70% of their maximum carrying capacity, completing 20 climbs per session with rest intervals of 60 to 90 seconds. In total, they completed seven sessions over seven days.

....
The researchers focused on mesenteric adipose tissue, the fat surrounding the intestines, which Moura describes as a primary counterpart to human visceral fat. The exercised mice had less of this tissue and smaller fat-storing cells, called adipocytes, than the sedentary obese mice.
In obesity, adipocytes can become so enlarged that they experience chronic stress and release inflammatory substances into the bloodstream. These substances can disrupt metabolism throughout the body, helping explain why excess visceral fat is more harmful than subcutaneous fat beneath the skin. The team interpreted the smaller cells as a sign that the tissue was becoming less inflamed and metabolically healthier.
...
Exercise affected fat production as well. The trained mice showed lower activity of Scd1, a gene involved in making fat molecules. The researchers interpret that decrease as a sign that the body may become less likely to store calories from food as fat.

Exercise can also help in pain management:

Researchers at Adelaide University analyzed 157 systematic reviews covering 2,736 randomized controlled trials and 221,279 participants. Across that evidence, exercise was associated with reductions in both acute and chronic pain, making the study the most comprehensive synthesis to date of exercise as a pain treatment.
The results challenge the assumption that harder or longer workouts are necessary for pain relief. Lower intensity and shorter duration programs produced greater reductions in pain, while meaningful benefits were also seen in programs totaling less than two hours of exercise per week.

Anyone got any gains?

Posted by: Disinformation Expert Ace at 05:10 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Hola

Posted by: Thanatopsis at October 16, 2026 05:16 PM (hG5L0)

2 I think that was me that said be careful with hyperkalemia, lol.

Posted by: ballistic at October 16, 2026 05:16 PM (oqH4h)

3 I didn't mean it to be a chide.

I'm not a chiding chode.

Posted by: ballistic at October 16, 2026 05:16 PM (oqH4h)

4 And, on the lighter side...

Posted by: Aetius451AD at October 16, 2026 05:16 PM (Y/06r)

5 People are strange...

Posted by: Crusader at October 16, 2026 05:17 PM (TN0g+)

6 I nooded

Posted by: Thanatopsis at October 16, 2026 05:17 PM (hG5L0)

7 Transmitted diarrhea is a good as theory as any

Posted by: Skip at October 16, 2026 05:17 PM (Ia/+0)

8 5 People are strange...
Posted by: Crusader at October 16, 2026 05:17 PM (TN0g+)

When you're a stranger

Posted by: Jim Morisson at October 16, 2026 05:17 PM (oqH4h)

9 I call bullshit on the 10k steps. I get between 14k and 16k at work alone.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at October 16, 2026 05:18 PM (Y/06r)

10 GF looks like Maya Rudolph.

Posted by: Sandy Cocazio Ortez at October 16, 2026 05:19 PM (pn9yF)

11 I pray that weirdo couple do not ever procreate, because think of the poor kid(s)!

Moreover, living too long is a daunting enough prospect. I'm just in my late 70s, but already too many people I cared about are gone: spouse, friends, lovers, colleagues. I had a great granddad who lived to 104 in his right mind, but sadly he'd outlived all his lifelong friends, wife, kids, grandkids. Sounds lonely to me.

Posted by: Fritz at October 16, 2026 05:20 PM (J7jo9)

12 "I insert the 5cm probe [and] tape a wire to my leg that is plugged into a machine and a laptop. The laptop can't fall asleep or we lose the data. I sadly learned that through experience."

For $15K, seems they could include some
WiFi option with a small battery to eliminate the wire taped to her leg.

I wonder if using the little blue pill counts the same as "natural erections"? (or if any of that makes sense at all)

Posted by: illiniwek at October 16, 2026 05:20 PM (vbXSk)

13 I want incandescent light bulbs! I live in an LED-heavy house and it's starting to wear on me. Good thing I have a veranda to hang out on.

Posted by: Emmie, celebrating 250 years of God's grace at October 16, 2026 05:20 PM (FC7F4)

14 When you. Read the content and see you could have been first.

Posted by: nurse ratched at October 16, 2026 05:21 PM (yEz+x)

15 10 GF looks like Maya Rudolph.
Posted by: Sandy Cocazio Ortez at October 16, 2026 05:19 PM (pn9yF)

The dude looks like a mannequin in that one photo. Like wax museum mannequin.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at October 16, 2026 05:21 PM (Y/06r)

16 Think about if BonerTracker420 over here put his clearly-autistic mind to use in some real beneficial capacity what he could achieve. Instead he's trying to play God on himself. Sad.

Posted by: ballistic at October 16, 2026 05:22 PM (oqH4h)

17 >>His "girlfriend," who seems nearly as weird as he is, wants in on this too.

So she tracks her own "nighttime erections" with an electronic tampon.

I'm staring to think this guy might be a flake.
- - - -

Feels like he needs to be ignored. Rich weirdo using social media to get attention. You do you, just don't tell us about it?

Posted by: Lizzy at October 16, 2026 05:22 PM (rOKnE)

18 Among his tests: He wears some kind of a genital cuff around his dong at night because nighttime erections have been linked to longevity.
_____

True. It keeps you from rolling out of bed, which could be hazardous. I thought everybody knew that.

Posted by: Chuck Martel at October 16, 2026 05:22 PM (n1UEl)

19 The people trying to be immortal are weird. You could do all of the things they're doing and then get hit by a truck. Total self absorbed cluelessness

Posted by: Smell the Glove at October 16, 2026 05:22 PM (kGIZD)

20 Moreover, living too long is a daunting enough prospect. I'm just in my late 70s, but already too many people I cared about are gone: spouse, friends, lovers, colleagues. I had a great granddad who lived to 104 in his right mind, but sadly he'd outlived all his lifelong friends, wife, kids, grandkids. Sounds lonely to me.
Posted by: Fritz at October 16, 2026 05:20 PM (J7jo9)
---
One of the themes of The Vampires of Michigan was that immortality eventually causes madness. To combat that, vampires slip into comas for a few decades and then get to relearn the world. The ones who resist go bonkers because they've done everything, seen everything, so what else is there to do?

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at October 16, 2026 05:22 PM (ZOv7s)

21 "I had a great granddad who lived to 104 in his right mind, but sadly he'd outlived all his lifelong friends, wife, kids, grandkids. Sounds lonely to me." Posted by: Fritz

I plan to live to 110 at least, so I get the "last laugh" on all my (mostly Woke) enemies. heh

Posted by: illiniwek at October 16, 2026 05:22 PM (vbXSk)

22 Those two people look like robots trying to pass themselves off as human.

There's a definite "Uncanny Valley" vibe...

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at October 16, 2026 05:23 PM (FZ29D)

23 And that couple look perfectly miserable. Do they ever have spontaneous sex? Laugh? Eat popcorn while watching The Three stooges. Is anything NOT measured and documented?

What a miserable existence.

Posted by: nurse ratched at October 16, 2026 05:23 PM (yEz+x)

24
When you. Read the content and see you could have been first.
Posted by: nurse ratched

====================

They call it a rookie mistake. And yet, here we are. So very many of us.

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at October 16, 2026 05:23 PM (mmrXZ)

25 We stockpiled incandescent light bulbs back when LED bulbs only came in that bright, bluish spectrum which, even now, is off putting.

We're out of them now. But some of the newer LED's are very close to incandescent, but lack the heat. Which was nice during winter months.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at October 16, 2026 05:23 PM (RORbl)

26 HIS NAME IS JOHNSON???

Posted by: Tex Lovera at October 16, 2026 05:24 PM (wl+N8)

27 I said this during Covid. I'll say it again.

I don't like the previous generations. Certainly not their Stiff-Necked "this is just how it will be and we're just right" bullshit. Boomers ? Silents ? Looking at you. With a "why don't you just either die or shut the fuck up" ?

Yet today ? There is a huge panic about just dying. We're all gonna' die. The Silents were OK with it. Boomers ? They seem to be scrambling to make sure everything is the way they want it after they die.

Part of American Politics now is the entire question of mortality.

Posted by: Troll ... Not Troll ... You Make the Call at October 16, 2026 05:24 PM (pO96l)

28 It would be awesome if someone figured out how to hack into the BonerTracker. "It's squeezing too hard, aaaaghh"

Posted by: Smell the Glove at October 16, 2026 05:24 PM (kGIZD)

29 I've still got a metric shit-ton of 100W incandescent bulbs.

Fuck the EPA.

Posted by: Tex Lovera at October 16, 2026 05:25 PM (wl+N8)

30 We stockpiled incandescent light bulbs back when LED bulbs only came in that bright, bluish spectrum which, even now, is off putting.

We're out of them now. But some of the newer LED's are very close to incandescent, but lack the heat. Which was nice during winter months.
Posted by: Martini Farmer at October 16, 2026 05:23 PM (RORbl)
----
I know a guy with over 10,000 incandescent bulbs stashed away in his attic.

If we ever have an earthquake (New Madrid fault zone), then the "crash" as his bulbs break is going to be epic...

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at October 16, 2026 05:25 PM (FZ29D)

31 Part of American Politics now is the entire question of mortality.
____

*nods*

Posted by: Downfall of Numenor at October 16, 2026 05:25 PM (n1UEl)

32 I've come to like the LED bulbs. They don't give off heat like the incandescents do.

Posted by: Mark1971 at October 16, 2026 05:25 PM (/OKHJ)

33 That couple looks like the quintessential cyberpunk people-who-live-in-the-clouds folks. They look like they came out of a cloning vat.

Also, you're never going to live forever. I have that on good authority.

Though, if you live longer through chemicals, your corpse might just look good for longer - like a frog in formaldehyde.

Posted by: GWB at October 16, 2026 05:25 PM (kU0PQ)

34 What happens if these devices short out while these folk are blowing z’s?

Posted by: Eromero at October 16, 2026 05:26 PM (oJjJL)

35 The dude looks like a mannequin in that one photo. Like wax museum mannequin.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at October 16, 2026 05:21 PM (Y/06r)

So does the woman, IMO. (Use some base, honey.)

Posted by: GWB at October 16, 2026 05:26 PM (kU0PQ)

36 And that couple look perfectly miserable. Do they ever have spontaneous sex? Laugh? Eat popcorn while watching The Three stooges. Is anything NOT measured and documented?

What a miserable existence.
Posted by: nurse ratched at October 16, 2026 05:23 PM (yEz+x)

One night a week they have a "free for all" where they snarf down one packet of M&Ms between them while watching old Mama's Family reruns. Kinky.

Posted by: hobbitopoly at October 16, 2026 05:26 PM (ZgwKJ)

37 32 I've come to like the LED bulbs. They don't give off heat like the incandescents do.
Posted by: Mark1971 at October 16, 2026 05:25 PM (/OKHJ)

See, that I think is a downside. I like the warm light.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at October 16, 2026 05:26 PM (Y/06r)

38 I'm staring to think this guy might be a flake.

I’m with you brother, things are starting to seem a little suss.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at October 16, 2026 05:26 PM (6ydKt)

39 Johnson's can be bought online for $275"

What happened to $20, same as in town?

Posted by: man at October 16, 2026 05:27 PM (k0zLw)

40 Though, if you live longer through chemicals, your corpse might just look good for longer - like a frog in formaldehyde.
Posted by: GWB at October 16, 2026 05:25 PM (kU0PQ)
---
One of the Chinese emperors sought a potion of immortality, and ended up poisoning himself by accident.

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at October 16, 2026 05:27 PM (ZOv7s)

41 His theory is that science is approaching the point where it could reverse aging, so if he can just extend his life to, say, 120, he will become immortal. He's said something to the effect of "these will be the last generations to know death."
_________________________________

These are the type guys who you do the fake cough in their face...or if he is crossing the street you pantomime losing control of your vehicle.

The irony of this guy getting hit by a bus the day before someone invents the Bacta Tank would be high end entertainment.

Posted by: Orson at October 16, 2026 05:27 PM (dIske)

42 And I ... proudly ... would fuck up that piece of equipment.

Still night-time boners. Still sex dreams. When that shit stops ?

I reckon I'll stop. To Hell with getting up every day to just be "responsible". I hate those kind of people.

Posted by: Troll ... Not Troll ... You Make the Call at October 16, 2026 05:28 PM (pO96l)

43 Every night, Kate Tolo inserts a $15,700 "research grade erection device" into what her boyfriend and business partner, biohacker Bryan Johnson, famously called her "top 1%" vagina.

Well, we know it is worth at least $15,700.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at October 16, 2026 05:28 PM (6ydKt)

44 watching old Mama's Family reruns. Kinky."

That's Harvey Korman's line...

Posted by: man at October 16, 2026 05:28 PM (k0zLw)

45 "has found that the blue-heavy light from typical LEDs lowers the membrane potential in our mitochondria"

One can buy different spectrums of LED bulbs, some with the "warmer" color. I still don't need glasses ... got a lot of natural light most of my life. I figured they would be claiming the ("invisible) flashing of LEDs would be the issue.

Posted by: illiniwek at October 16, 2026 05:28 PM (vbXSk)

46 The woman must be "I'm not high maintenance, I just want immortality"

Posted by: Smell the Glove at October 16, 2026 05:28 PM (kGIZD)

47 And Tolo -- despite not having a penis -- wants in on the action.

Fair enough.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at October 16, 2026 05:29 PM (6ydKt)

48 The irony of this guy getting hit by a bus the day before someone invents the Bacta Tank would be high end entertainment.
Posted by: Orson at October 16, 2026 05:27 PM (dIske)

If bacta tanks were real I'd probably spend 40% of my life in one. I'm pretty accident prone.

Posted by: hobbitopoly at October 16, 2026 05:29 PM (ZgwKJ)

49 He's said something to the effect of "these will be the last generations to know death." Or something like that, less poetical.
_______

No tech can ever save you from death if you're vaporized by a nuke, get your head blown off, or any number of other things that cause massive trauma. Even if ageing of the cells could be halted or reversed, everyone would be constantly in fear of falling into a woodchipper or some such.

Posted by: Biff Pocoroba at October 16, 2026 05:29 PM (JzUSu)

50 her "top 1%" vagina"

*Hollywood takes notice...

Posted by: man at October 16, 2026 05:29 PM (k0zLw)

51 I, too, have a light inside my probe!

My only gainzz this week is, so far, sort of keeping a shred of sanity. Y'all would not believe the complete fubar, so far and it's not over, of my mother's hospital stay as of Wednesday.

It's almost as wild of a ride as the guy who flew out of the Six Flag's roller coaster. It's been a yes to a procedure, no, too risky, to by golly yes it's getting done asap or right this second today, bro, as he drives to the hospital early this morning. In case you are interested it was glue to a fractured vertebrae in a very elderly lady who still has all her marbles.

The doc who threw us off the coaster told her sitter last night (vs calling my brother) that "it's too risky" and noped out. Then, this morning, it's a go again. We have to assume the interventional radiologist told the neurosurgeon to go pound sand, to hell with your stats, I'm doing it. And he did and she's doing fine as far as I know. Will go to a 2wk deal of rehab or quit if she jolly well feels like it.

Here's to hoping bro does not arrive tomorrow and find she had a Brazillian butt lift while he was gone.

Posted by: ChristyBlinkyTheGreat at October 16, 2026 05:29 PM (hzuYO)

52 One night a week they have a "free for all" where they snarf down one packet of M&Ms between them while watching old Mama's Family reruns. Kinky.

First time I saw a full Red Head Vicki Lawrence was on Mama's Family.

Gotta' say ... Vicki helped jump start puberty for me. I'd have cut her grass for free. And her other grass.

Posted by: Troll ... Not Troll ... You Make the Call at October 16, 2026 05:30 PM (pO96l)

53 Thought that girl looked way too good looking to be that stiff's gal...until I saw the "millionaire" part of "millionaire tech weird" in the title of the post....yup, peso-nality strikes again.

Posted by: Boswell at October 16, 2026 05:30 PM (j10i6)

54 I was going to say that I started taking Creatine, and Clostridium Butyricum which appears to have done wonders for my blood glucose, but after the top story, I think I will just go do something else

Posted by: Kindltot at October 16, 2026 05:30 PM (rbvCR)

55 One of the Chinese emperors sought a potion of immortality, and ended up poisoning himself by accident.
Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at October 16, 2026 05:27 PM (ZOv7s)
----
Alchemy always was a bit of an inexact science.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at October 16, 2026 05:30 PM (FZ29D)

56 I'll spare you the details but the science says the Little Man in the Prow of the Boat stands up a couple of times per night.

Life is cramped, sometimes you just need a good stretch.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at October 16, 2026 05:30 PM (6ydKt)

57 I'm not high maintenance, I just want a steely dan"

There.

Posted by: man at October 16, 2026 05:30 PM (k0zLw)

58 Though, if you live longer through chemicals, your corpse might just look good for longer - like a frog in formaldehyde.
Posted by: GWB at October 16, 2026 05:25 PM (kU0PQ)
-----

This is about me, isn't it?

Posted by: Keith Richards at October 16, 2026 05:31 PM (oqH4h)

59 That terrible blue light emitted by LEDs is, BTW, one of the major differences between incandescent light and goid old fashioned... wait for it... sunshine.
In today's gotta-have-the-clicks information ecosystem, FUD reigns. There is probably some small grain of truth in that story - the only people who can get away with look you in the eye lying are Dem politicians - but if the claim of harm is verified, we don't need to baby/bathwater, just fiddle with the phosphor coating.

Posted by: buddhaha at October 16, 2026 05:31 PM (t0yyD)

60 Girlfriend? Yea, sure. Like Talacreepo’s girlfriend. And Spartacus. And Obama.

Dude is gayer than the Cornell 7 orgy … without Jane Hoe

Posted by: Elric the Blade at October 16, 2026 05:31 PM (hxrdJ)

61 Staying O/T Ace, I read that orgasims, on top of longevity and fun, can clear nasal congestion.

I think this is really great news!

Posted by: ChristyBlinkyTheGreat at October 16, 2026 05:31 PM (hzuYO)

62 You could do all of the things they're doing and then get hit by a truck. Total self absorbed cluelessness
Posted by: Smell the Glove at October 16, 2026 05:22 PM (kGIZD)

And that's just what the authorities would claim, too. "Yeah, they just stepped into the street on a sunny, clear day with almost no traffic on the road and BLAMO! got hit by a truck."

But you and I know better, right?

Posted by: GWB at October 16, 2026 05:31 PM (kU0PQ)

63 Is it just me, or is this guy shooting for early Twin Peaks, Kyle MacLachlan?

Posted by: Orson at October 16, 2026 05:31 PM (dIske)

64 If you have literally nothing better to do, go read this weirdos tweets about his weirdo girlfriend. They are... insane.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at October 16, 2026 05:32 PM (BI5O2)

65 >>a mouse-based study found...

Ah, my specialty.

Posted by: bob (moron inbobnitus) at October 16, 2026 05:32 PM (2vHeG)

66 I sometimes wish we had the SMRT watches what count steps back when I worked at Walmart during my Chocolate Fonzie Staycation days (2009-2012).

I worked in the back room, unloading trucks, delivering pallets to the floor, picking and binning for 8 hours, with very few pauses. I've never done the math, but I bet I was passing ten miles a day.

Just glad my feet never suffered any long-term damage.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Sounding the Carnyx at October 16, 2026 05:32 PM (0aYVJ)

67 Life is cramped, sometimes you just need a good stretch"

Boxers vs briefs

Posted by: man at October 16, 2026 05:32 PM (k0zLw)

68 19 The people trying to be immortal are weird. You could do all of the things they're doing and then get hit by a truck. Total self absorbed cluelessness

Posted by: Smell the Glove at October 16, 2026 05:22 PM (kGIZD)

If they had a pill to protect against cancer, I'd take it. I still wouldn't be protected against trucks trying to run me over, but getting rid of the cancer threat would be a good thing.

Posted by: No Name Today at October 16, 2026 05:32 PM (8mulE)

69 One of the themes of The Vampires of Michigan was that immortality eventually causes madness. To combat that, vampires slip into comas for a few decades and then get to relearn the world. The ones who resist go bonkers because they've done everything, seen everything, so what else is there to do?

Think of the antediluvian people. Regularly beating 800 years and as for Methuselah 969 years.

A lot of stupid shit can accumulate in nearly a millennia on earth. How many fingers do 900 year olds have? Centuries of opportunities to pop out an eye, break an eardrum. Nearly a thousand years of scars, burns and exposure to God only knows what.

Must have had bodies and health like Highlander, or maybe they were really disfigured near life's end.

Posted by: Community Notes at October 16, 2026 05:33 PM (BvPIe)

70 Kate Tolo looks a lot like Ashley St. Clair (one of Elon's exes).

Posted by: m at October 16, 2026 05:33 PM (odBC9)

71 Staying O/T Ace, I read that orgasims, on top of longevity and fun, can clear nasal congestion.

Don't believe it. At least how I've put any woman through a believable orgasm.

Posted by: Troll ... Not Troll ... You Make the Call at October 16, 2026 05:33 PM (pO96l)

72 I tried putting LED buld replacements in the garage door opener, but they put out out an RF that impeded the remote.

Posted by: Halfhand at October 16, 2026 05:33 PM (zXVY5)

73 Willowed:

The weirdest thing about the new Narnia is that Gerwig herself said she wanted to make it a tribute to David Bowie and a glam rock musical.

Not quite sure how she figures that a Bowie/glam rock "girls will be boys and boys will be girls, tranny-lite presentation/vibe/story fits in with a family movie aimed at children.

ABG, I guess....Always Be Grooming.

Posted by: naturalfake at October 16, 2026 05:33 PM (YSUhf)

74
My rejoinder to the vegan nutjobs has been "Maybe cutting out all the red meat from your diet might make you live longer. But WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO????"

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at October 16, 2026 05:33 PM (y9nCu)

75 Speaking of supplements:
I've been watching the warping of the Risilea ads.
These are AI cartoons with a voice over song for a weight loss product. They are mini-soap operas with a happy ending.
At first, they were just "I'd like to lose weight and regain energy", then "I don't want to be the fat sister at the wedding even though my family is mad at me for losing weight and upstaging the Princess".
Now, the subjects are getting increasingly fatter and less attractive and are using the product for revenge on cheating husbands and ex-husbands. They have also upped the gross-out factor of the stored body toxins the product removes.
It's been interesting.
Haven't seen any involving men yet.

Posted by: sal at October 16, 2026 05:34 PM (f+FmA)

76 Staying O/T Ace, I read that orgasims, on top of longevity and fun, can clear nasal congestion.
----

I prepared an emulsion that is also great for nasal congestion.

Posted by: Pierre DuBois at October 16, 2026 05:34 PM (TN0g+)

77 56 I'll spare you the details but the science says the Little Man in the Prow of the Boat stands up a couple of times per night.
___________________________________

We, in the business, call this "Crossing the Delaware."

Posted by: Orson at October 16, 2026 05:34 PM (dIske)

78 You have to take care with any supplement that is not water-soluble. It is not a "more is better" situation.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at October 16, 2026 05:34 PM (RIvkX)

79 There's a Halloween festival in my town tonight and the food truck with the four inch thick smoked pork chops is here.

Would I want to live forever if it meant living like and ammo g those people? Nope.

Posted by: Victor Tango Kilo at October 16, 2026 05:34 PM (f0sNM)

80 Oh, and Ace, my love: just eat a banana or orange for your potassium.

As a Civil War RN we used to mix the potassium ourselves based on the IV orders from the doc. I could have killed many people if I was a Clancy RN or a jihad one. Now mixed in the pharmacy.Tiny little bottles of K powder you mixed first with a burst of saline and shot into the IV.

We also had to time the IV's per hour as often we did not have pumps. This was a math problem we learned in skool. Mine were always, and I mean always, on time to the hour for the next shift.

I was awesome in not leaving messes for the next shift nor anyone bleeding, harfing or dead.

Posted by: ChristyBlinkyTheGreat at October 16, 2026 05:35 PM (hzuYO)

81 63 Is it just me, or is this guy shooting for early Twin Peaks, Kyle MacLachlan?
Posted by: Orson at October 16, 2026 05:31 PM (dIske)

Wax figure Dale Cooper.

His girlfriend is no Audrey Horne.

Damn, she was fucking hot.

https://tinyurl.com/3n2x6ba9

Posted by: Aetius451AD at October 16, 2026 05:35 PM (Y/06r)

82 or maybe they were really disfigured near life's end."

Any teeth left?

(Kidlet used to laugh about 3,000 year old elves with nice teeth...)

Posted by: man at October 16, 2026 05:35 PM (k0zLw)

83 Hooray- a gains thread! Maintaining between 170-175. If I dip below, I have popcorn that evening, if I go above, I cut out peanut butter that day, but rarely do either. Two great no bs resources on YouTube for straight talk on what it really takes- Mario Tomic and Sean Nalawanayj. Check either or both out, content is essentially the same, both are pleasant but honest.

Posted by: Farmer Bob at October 16, 2026 05:36 PM (BPH1u)

84 Why does the guy look like an artificial life form in one of the alien movies . . . ?

Posted by: Not a pretty picture at October 16, 2026 05:36 PM (anL5R)

85 My dad was 90 when he died, the first time, due to a potassium deficiency, so not enough can kill you, too. He was given CPR by two of the ladies in his Bridge club, and the EMTs shocked his heart back into rhythm. They put him on a ventilator and sent him off to the good hospital an hour away.

When he woke up that evening, I told him he'd died and his card buddies had saved his life. He was peeved. He said, "What'd they do that for? It was all over. I was out of it.

He got over his pique, and thanked them both.

It's a long road back for a young person who has had CPR, much less a skinny old man. He had no appetite, so I made him ice cream every week for three years. He did okay for two of those years, then his heart started to fail. He died at home on a Tuesday evening in December after a last bowl of ice cream. I made sure no one tried to bring him back.

I gave my brother the ice cream maker.

Posted by: huerfano at October 16, 2026 05:36 PM (2Xqig)

86 It's been blowing steadily here all day- hope they're okay at the Mo-Me.

Posted by: sal at October 16, 2026 05:36 PM (f+FmA)

87 Is it just me, or is this guy shooting for early Twin Peaks, Kyle MacLachlan?
Posted by: Orson at October 16, 2026 05:31 PM (dIske)
=====

UND NOW VE DANCE!

Posted by: Sprockets at October 16, 2026 05:36 PM (RIvkX)

88 we have a serious mental illness crisis in western civilization. I am convinced that its a direct result of life being so comfortable, easy, and lacking challenges and hardship.

Look at what passes for horror now. The latest horror movies are: my makeup makes me look ugly, my house has extra rooms I didn't know about, and my girlfriend likes me too much. These can be made scary or at least dramatic if well done but they all are first world problems rather than "something is trying to hack me to pieces and wear my face"

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at October 16, 2026 05:37 PM (nIKjK)

89 72 I tried putting LED buld replacements in the garage door opener, but they put out out an RF that impeded the remote.
Posted by: Halfhand at October 16, 2026 05:33 PM (zXVY5)

I’ve got a trash can with an automatic lid that runs off light cells. It uses an infrared sensor that you wave your hand over to open the lid.

I can point my Dish remote at it and open the lid with the volume button.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at October 16, 2026 05:37 PM (6ydKt)

90 78 You have to take care with any supplement that is not water-soluble. It is not a "more is better" situation.
Posted by: San Franpsycho at October 16, 2026 05:34 PM (RIvkX)

*thinks about making a 'Vitamin D' joke in light of Christy's statement above, but thinks this is enough*

Posted by: Aetius451AD at October 16, 2026 05:37 PM (Y/06r)

91 One of the Chinese emperors sought a potion of immortality, and ended up poisoning himself by accident.
Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at October 16, 2026 05:27 PM (ZOv7s)

A little roasted cinnabar, a bit of dissolved Calomel, some blue mass ground into lard for a salve, and pretty soon the only thing you are good for is an electrode for electrochemistry.

Posted by: Kindltot at October 16, 2026 05:37 PM (rbvCR)

92 5 cm.....

Can't make butter with a tooth pick

Posted by: Seagrams and sprite at October 16, 2026 05:37 PM (Iwv3U)

93 Oh?

>>@The_FJC

>>Tim Walz's offices just got raided.

>>Oops. 🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿

Posted by: JackStraw at October 16, 2026 05:37 PM (viF8m)

94 Exercise can also help in pain management:

Except if you are in pain it's hard to exercise... Ask me how I know....

Posted by: It's me donna at October 16, 2026 05:37 PM (+gK6I)

95 Gerwig herself said she wanted to make it a tribute to David Bowie and a glam rock musical"

A Knight's Tale waves...

Posted by: man at October 16, 2026 05:37 PM (k0zLw)

96 79 There's a Halloween festival in my town tonight and the food truck with the four inch thick smoked pork chops is here.

Would I want to live forever if it meant living like and ammo g those people? Nope.
Posted by: Victor Tango Kilo at October 16, 2026 05:34 PM (f0sNM)
______________________________

I drove through a town the other day that had this giant red sign flashing at the town's fairground. I drove by so I could read it. It said "Paranormal Groove" and was at the very top of this huge modular tent.

I looked up later when I returned home. Turns out there is some "adults only" traveling Halloween Circus that travels all over the country this time of year...and does shows at fairgrounds. I never heard of it before.

Posted by: Orson at October 16, 2026 05:38 PM (dIske)

97 "I tried putting LED buld replacements in the garage door opener, but they put out out an RF that impeded the remote."

My LED lights in the garage offer no interference. And then there all the 5G, and 2.4G (and other) devices constantly pulsing around our bodies. No idea if that is bad, but so many claim it is "awful". idk

Posted by: illiniwek at October 16, 2026 05:38 PM (vbXSk)

98 Millionaire tech weirdo is wearing lipstick

I think we're done here.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at October 16, 2026 05:38 PM (RIvkX)

99 Never mind, that might be from the raid last Spring.

Posted by: JackStraw at October 16, 2026 05:38 PM (viF8m)

100 83 Hooray- a gains thread! Maintaining between 170-175. If I dip below, I have popcorn that evening, if I go above, I cut out peanut butter that day, but rarely do either. Two great no bs resources on YouTube for straight talk on what it really takes- Mario Tomic and Sean Nalawanayj. Check either or both out, content is essentially the same, both are pleasant but honest.
Posted by: Farmer Bob at October 16, 2026 05:36 PM (BPH1u)

Way to go!

Posted by: m at October 16, 2026 05:39 PM (odBC9)

101 we have a serious mental illness crisis in western civilization. I am convinced that its a direct result of life being so comfortable, easy, and lacking challenges and hardship.

The Matrix says howdy.

You're not wrong, Chris. But you'll fuck it all up when Religion comes up. Because Man can't be perfectly happy with Religion either.

Posted by: Troll ... Not Troll ... You Make the Call at October 16, 2026 05:39 PM (pO96l)

102 A Knight's Tale waves...
Posted by: man at October 16, 2026 05:37 PM (k0zLw)

I like that movie except the woman who is supposedly so beautiful is not..According to My husband

Posted by: It's me donna at October 16, 2026 05:39 PM (+gK6I)

103
Oh?

>>@The_FJC

>>Tim Walz's offices just got raided.

>>Oops. 🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿
Posted by: JackStraw at October 16, 2026 05:37 PM (viF8m)

Oooooooo, this is gonna be fun.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at October 16, 2026 05:39 PM (y9nCu)

104 98 Millionaire tech weirdo is wearing lipstick

I think we're done here.
Posted by: San Franpsycho at October 16, 2026 05:38 PM (RIvkX)

So... he'd have no use for Audrey Horne?!

*bangs gavel*

Case Dismissed!

Posted by: Aetius451AD at October 16, 2026 05:39 PM (Y/06r)

105 Oregon Trail Diet.

Posted by: 13times at October 16, 2026 05:40 PM (6iKlf)

106 I tried putting LED buld replacements in the garage door opener, but they put out out an RF that impeded the remote.
Posted by: Halfhand at October 16, 2026 05:33 PM (zXVY5)
----
Yeah, when I got a new garage door opener a couple of years ago, the guy who installed it strongly recommended getting a very specific type of LED just for that reason.

It was a bit harder to find than I imagined.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at October 16, 2026 05:40 PM (FZ29D)

107 That's a mandroid and a fembot until proved otherwise.

It does at least seem that Mondo2000's promise of teledildonics is coming to low-hanging fruition.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at October 16, 2026 05:41 PM (kpS4V)

108 I gave my brother the ice cream maker.
Posted by: huerfano at October 16, 2026 05:36 PM (2Xqig)
=====

May his memory be a blessing.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at October 16, 2026 05:41 PM (RIvkX)

109 >>Are normal incandescent light bulbs coming back?

Just go outside you nerds. Nothing better than sunlight. Everyone needs a couple hours of it each day.

Kids get a lot of sunlight, and look how healthy they are.

Posted by: bob (moron inbobnitus) at October 16, 2026 05:41 PM (2vHeG)

110 When I'm asleep is the only time I'm flaccid.

Posted by: The Paolo at October 16, 2026 05:41 PM (HD2n/)

111 I like that movie except the woman who is supposedly so beautiful is not..According to My husband

Posted by: It's me donna at October 16, 2026 05:39 PM (+gK6I)

She's not as Pretty as she is Hawt. There is a difference.

Posted by: Troll ... Not Troll ... You Make the Call at October 16, 2026 05:41 PM (pO96l)

112 George W Bush was Talarico before Talarico.

Posted by: 88C+u at October 16, 2026 05:41 PM (88C+u)

113 103
Oh?

>>@The_FJC

>>Tim Walz's offices just got raided.

>>Oops. 🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿
Posted by: JackStraw at October 16, 2026 05:37 PM (viF8m)

___________________________

Warrants don't just sign themselves.

Posted by: Orson at October 16, 2026 05:41 PM (dIske)

114 111 I like that movie except the woman who is supposedly so beautiful is not..According to My husband

Posted by: It's me donna at October 16, 2026 05:39 PM (+gK6I)

She's not as Pretty as she is Hawt. There is a difference.
Posted by: Troll ... Not Troll ... You Make the Call at October 16, 2026 05:41 PM (pO96l)

Who was the gal? Never watched Knight's Tale.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at October 16, 2026 05:42 PM (Y/06r)

115 >>Oooooooo, this is gonna be fun.

I think I might have pulled a Lamont. That appears to be an old video.

Posted by: JackStraw at October 16, 2026 05:42 PM (viF8m)

116 GAINZZ:

Get so obsessed with something that you forget to eat.

Posted by: zombie at October 16, 2026 05:42 PM (HD2n/)

117 Because Man can't be perfectly happy with Religion either.

Of course not. Only false religions promise ultimate happiness in this life. Jesus specifically states that you will suffer for your faith.

A Knight's Tale waves.

I hate that movie with the fierce hate of ten thousand suns.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at October 16, 2026 05:42 PM (nIKjK)

118 On the other hand Dr David Sinclair looks to be reversing glaucoma caused blindness by stripping methyl groups off of DNA within the eye to allow it to start rebuilding the retina and nerves, and there is a group at Stanford that is looking to reverse osteo-arthritis by blocking an array of proteins that become more abundant as we age.

Posted by: Kindltot at October 16, 2026 05:42 PM (rbvCR)

119 >Johnson proceeded to share that Tolo, 30, is miraculously clear of health-compromising gardnerella, candida, STIs, opportunistic pathogens and aerobic vaginitis markers.
---

Nice of him to share his girlfriends vagina with us.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at October 16, 2026 05:43 PM (WXr4y)

120 Been hoping for a Flaming Skull thread soon

Posted by: Skip at October 16, 2026 05:43 PM (Ia/+0)

121 119 >Johnson proceeded to share that Tolo, 30, is miraculously clear of health-compromising gardnerella, candida, STIs, opportunistic pathogens and aerobic vaginitis markers.
---

Nice of him to share his girlfriends vagina with us.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at October 16, 2026 05:43 PM (WXr4y)

Brand new Vagina- hardly used!

*girlfriend shoots dark look at dork*

Posted by: Aetius451AD at October 16, 2026 05:44 PM (Y/06r)

122 I can point my Dish remote at it and open the lid with the volume button.

Life Hacks!!

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at October 16, 2026 05:44 PM (nIKjK)

123 Wearing a CPAP is challenging enough without having to gear up Mr. Winky too

Posted by: San Franpsycho at October 16, 2026 05:44 PM (RIvkX)

124 the woman who is supposedly so beautiful is not"

Not bad. Not bad at all...

Posted by: man at October 16, 2026 05:44 PM (k0zLw)

125 The fear of death is very strong is some people.

Other people fly wingsuits down mountainsides.

People are weird. Just because this jackhole wants to spend all his time analyzing his blood and excrement doesn't mean its a thing.

Posted by: I can't explain human behavior, I just observe it at October 16, 2026 05:45 PM (anL5R)

126 It was a bit harder to find than I imagined.
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at October 16, 2026 05:40 PM (FZ29D)

Amazon has bulbs if you know parts numbers and types.

I’ve gotten some hard to find LED replacements for unique little incandescents off of there.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at October 16, 2026 05:45 PM (6ydKt)

127 I hate that movie with the fierce hate of ten thousand suns."

So, Prometheus?

Posted by: man at October 16, 2026 05:45 PM (k0zLw)

128 I think I might have pulled a Lamont.

Ya big dummy!

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at October 16, 2026 05:45 PM (nIKjK)

129 113 103
Oh?

>>@The_FJC

>>Tim Walz's offices just got raided.

>>Oops. 🍿🍿🍿🍿🍿
Posted by: JackStraw at October 16, 2026 05:37 PM (viF8m)

___________________________

Warrants don't just sign themselves.
Posted by: Orson at October 16, 2026 05:41 PM (dIske)
*******
Say it isn't so, Timmy! LOLOLOL

Deport him to Somolia, too! Maybe they could boil him in a big pot and serve with a side of kitty cat.

Posted by: ChristyBlinkyTheGreat at October 16, 2026 05:45 PM (hzuYO)

130 A Knight's Tale waves.

I hate that movie with the fierce hate of ten thousand suns.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at October 16, 2026 05:42 PM (nIKjK)

I'm sure you do. Because its a little amoral. A little anti-hero. A little ... messy.

I loved it . Still on my list of "watch again".

I'm sure you also hate Clint westerns. And things like Inglorious Basterds. And you probably loved Jimmy Stewart in "Liberty Valence".

Exactly why the Anti-Hero gained popularity. People like you, frankly.

Death Wish. I'm sure you hated it. Icky Vigilante.

Posted by: Troll ... Not Troll ... You Make the Call at October 16, 2026 05:45 PM (pO96l)

131 Bowie saw his art as aimed toward Baum's Oz. The video for "Ashes To Ashes" makes that clear.
I don't think Bowie ever wanted much to do with Narnia.

Posted by: 88C+u at October 16, 2026 05:46 PM (88C+u)

132 It does at least seem that Mondo2000's promise of teledildonics is coming to low-hanging fruition.
Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at October 16, 2026 05:41 PM (kpS4V)

ROFL

Posted by: San Franpsycho at October 16, 2026 05:46 PM (RIvkX)

133 i smell a scogg logg

Posted by: 88C+u at October 16, 2026 05:46 PM (88C+u)

134 we have a serious mental illness crisis in western civilization. I am convinced that its a direct result of life being so comfortable, easy, and lacking challenges and hardship.

Go watch Gen-Z videos that blame the Boomers for all of the world's problems.

They will find struggles in life so difficult that being a galley slave on a Viking warship looks like Paradise.

Posted by: Community Notes at October 16, 2026 05:46 PM (nAS9C)

135 Jimmy Stewart was a bitch liar in Man who shot Liberty Valence.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at October 16, 2026 05:47 PM (Y/06r)

136 Crisis!

The Hollywood Reporter
@THR
Gender-balanced hiring on television’s most popular series dipped during the 2025-2026 season.
The report found a clear decrease in the representation of women, nonbinary and trans people in major roles. ⁠
⁠Only 39 women or nonbinary or trans people played lead roles in the season’s top series, which represented the lowest number in seven years (and in the previous television season, the number was 44).⁠
⁠The depiction of women of color and nonbinary and trans people of color in co-lead roles also decreased: In the 2024-2025 television season 55 percent of the most popular series contained at least one of woman of color, nonbinary or trans person of color in crucial supporting roles, whereas this latest season only 47 percent of series did.⁠

-
On the other hand, I rarely watch TV because of all the girl bosses and EIEIOs.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Mr. September 2026 at October 16, 2026 05:47 PM (ndZc7)

137 122 I can point my Dish remote at it and open the lid with the volume button.

Life Hacks!!
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at October 16, 2026 05:44 PM (nIKjK)

It took me about a week to figure out why the trashcan kept opening by itself.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at October 16, 2026 05:47 PM (6ydKt)

138 116 GAINZZ:

Get so obsessed with something that you forget to eat.
Posted by: zombie at October 16, 2026 05:42 PM (HD2n/)

I did this recently. Not a good idea.

Posted by: m at October 16, 2026 05:47 PM (odBC9)

139 >>>>@The_FJC

>>Tim Walz's offices just got raided.

Oh my!
Guess this about more that immigration irregularities. . .

Posted by: Lizzy at October 16, 2026 05:47 PM (rOKnE)

140
The Happy Couple appear to be made of plastic.

Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at October 16, 2026 05:48 PM (4Aqsh)

141 The erection probe people really should get up out of their coffins now and then and see sunlight.

The guy reminds me of that vampire on Dark Shadows.

They both look like wax figures. I would not want to look like them for all the probes in the universe.

I also, based on my 95yr old mother and her 96yr old mother, don't want to live that long. Altho I'm not moving to Canada to prevent it.

Posted by: ChristyBlinkyTheGreat at October 16, 2026 05:48 PM (hzuYO)

142 It was a bit harder to find than I imagined."

Indeed. Chamberlain didn't work with led... had to get incandescent...

Posted by: man at October 16, 2026 05:48 PM (k0zLw)

143 I'm sure you do. Because its a little amoral. A little anti-hero. A little ... messy.

Nah I am fine with that, if you've read my books you'd know that. I hate it because it utterly jettisons all historical basis whatsoever from the setting. It pretends to be 1300s but then mixes in bizarrely ahistorical crap from modern day and other historical periods. And I'm not even talking about the annoying modern music in the dance scene. Its just offensive to me as a fan of medieval period pieces.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at October 16, 2026 05:48 PM (nIKjK)

144 Personally I liked "A Knight's Tale". Although "A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms" did it better (because early GRRM was a real force)

Posted by: 88C+u at October 16, 2026 05:48 PM (88C+u)

145 > Anyone got any gains?

I bragged about this before, but I'm proud, so I'll do it again.

Earlier this month I did a meet and got 1170lbs total on the big three.
280lbs bench.
395lbs squat.
495lbs deadlift.

All judge witnessed and approved. I'm happy.

On Wednesday I managed to bench 225lbs 8x in a row cleanly.

Posted by: bonhomme at October 16, 2026 05:49 PM (mkw2N)

146 The Happy Couple appear to be made of plastic.

===

That's it!! Both AI !

Posted by: runner at October 16, 2026 05:49 PM (AKptf)

147 Millionaire tech weirdo is wearing lipstick

I think we're done here.
Posted by: San Franpsycho at October 16, 2026 05:38 PM (RIvkX)

The undertaker in the Jack Benny Show used to mention that Mr Benny was looking very natural.

Generally the funeral homes use just the wrong shade of lip gloss to hide the blue lips.

Posted by: Kindltot at October 16, 2026 05:49 PM (rbvCR)

148 >>Oh my!
Guess this about more that immigration irregularities. . .

Not so fast. I think that's an old video of when he was raided earlier in the year.

Posted by: JackStraw at October 16, 2026 05:49 PM (viF8m)

149
Am I being cynical? Sounds like it's all a sales pitch for this "medical equipment", and he's the majority investor.

Too bad, his squeeze could be quite attractive with a bit of work on her presentation. Clothes, a better hair stylist, a minimal amount of makeup.

Not being totally the walking, talking example of Rule #1 would also help.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at October 16, 2026 05:50 PM (y9nCu)

150 r/Biohackers (discussion related to the nighttime erection topic?)

Best supplement for vasodilatation or lowering the heartrate? I only heard about stuff like l-arginin and l-citrulin so far, which one of them is superior? And are there any other supplements that are worth it compared to those two?

Low dose Cialis. 2.5-5mg daily. Talk to your doctor. Or talk to the Amazon health bot.

A great no cost method is humming. Humming increases nasal nitric oxide (NO), a potent vasodilator, by roughly 15-fold compared with quiet breathing.

lol show your veins before and after humming please

I have a topical solution of minoxidil (1ml =50 mg minoxidil, 235 mg ethanol and propylenglycol). Is it possible to use this topical solution as oral minoxidil by measuring like 0,1ml (=5 mg minoxidil) of the solution and putting it in a capsule?

Not a supplement, but eat beets and cocoa powder. Couple hours before the gym and you will get sick veins and pumps.

I still don't know why this erection problem is so significant. You get so many people taking this stuff.

Posted by: Intercepted Reddit Transmissions brought by the Intrepid AoS Liaison at October 16, 2026 05:50 PM (0y8TN)

151 The Happy Couple appear to be made of plastic.

Like that weirdo "clavicular" or all the pictures I've seen of instagram "influencers" who use filters and makeup to look like an anime character.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at October 16, 2026 05:50 PM (nIKjK)

152 Didn't Bryan Johnson just get diagnosed with an untreatable cancer?

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at October 16, 2026 05:50 PM (s1VwS)

153 It took me about a week to figure out why the trashcan kept opening by itself.

I'm trying to imagine what all of your interim hypotheticals were from first noticing until actual discovery.

Posted by: Community Notes at October 16, 2026 05:51 PM (nAS9C)

154 106 It was a bit harder to find than I imagined.
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at October 16, 2026 05:40 PM (FZ29D)

Keeping on the topic of this thread, um ....

Posted by: m at October 16, 2026 05:51 PM (odBC9)

155 "I also have been watching Elementary and noticed someone was murdered by an injections of potassium chloride, which caused a heart attack."

Elementary is a great series. I like it more than Sherlock, when you compare both series in toto .

Posted by: Darrell Harris at October 16, 2026 05:51 PM (QnOs/)

156 I don't think Bowie ever wanted much to do with Narnia.
Posted by: 88C+u at October 16, 2026 05:46 PM (88C+u)

He wanted to do 1984 but the Orwell estate told him to get bent.
The songs are on Diamond Dogs album, though.

Posted by: Kindltot at October 16, 2026 05:51 PM (rbvCR)

157 because it utterly jettisons all historical basis whatsoever from the setting."

Having Paul Bettany walk around naked as Chaucer didn't do it?

Posted by: man at October 16, 2026 05:51 PM (k0zLw)

158 >>@THR
. . . ⁠The depiction of women of color and nonbinary and trans people of color in co-lead roles also decreased: In the 2024-2025 television season 55 percent of the most popular series contained at least one of woman of color, nonbinary or trans person of color in crucial supporting roles, whereas this latest season only 47 percent of series did.⁠
- - - -

I wonder if there's a crosstab/graphs that map a show's popularity and monetary success to these demographic quotas? Heh

Posted by: Lizzy at October 16, 2026 05:52 PM (rOKnE)

159 Watz would like to be sent to China

Posted by: Skip at October 16, 2026 05:52 PM (Ia/+0)

160 fact check true: I jack off at least 4 hours per day and I look really young for my age (152)

Posted by: Lemmiwinks at October 16, 2026 05:52 PM (mTzaS)

161 His girlfriend is no Audrey Horne.
Damn, she was fucking hot.
https://tinyurl.com/3n2x6ba9
Posted by: Aetius451AD
-----
Some costume designer read that saddle shoes were a big thing in the 40s and 50s, read the description, and screwed it up.
The shoes in that pic are a joke.

Posted by: buddhaha at October 16, 2026 05:52 PM (t0yyD)

162 They will find struggles in life so difficult that being a galley slave on a Viking warship looks like Paradise.

Posted by: Community Notes at October 16, 2026 05:46 PM (nAS9C)

They might.

My theory ? We're due for a regression. One that will look like the Depression except instead of the Mafia we'll have competing interests from foreign countries and maybe dirty weapons.

In many ways, the 2020s look like the 1920s to me. Hate it for my kids.

Posted by: Troll ... Not Troll ... You Make the Call at October 16, 2026 05:52 PM (pO96l)

163 That Bryan Johnson guy posts his lifts sometimes and they're hilarious.

Here he is "deadlifting" 405lbs.
http://tiny.cc/f66c101

For those who don't lift, this is all sorts of terrible.
1. Awful form. That back arch is going to cause him lower back issues.
2. He's using a trap bar with tall handles. This lift is from a much higher starting position than a real deadlift.
3. He's got plates under the weights to raise the bar even more

A real deadlift is on a horizontal bar that's at a standard 9" or so from the ground.

Posted by: bonhomme at October 16, 2026 05:53 PM (mkw2N)

164 The pic of the sex techies appear to be wax museum models.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at October 16, 2026 05:53 PM (WXr4y)

165 123 Wearing a CPAP is challenging enough without having to gear up Mr. Winky too
Posted by: San Franpsycho at October 16, 2026 05:44 PM (RIvkX)

*******
Love you guys! Also a bit delirious from being up since 0400 stress alarm due to mother in hospital. Anything I write today I should have an out for temporary insanity brought on by lack of sleep.

I've started to get an eye tic if my cell phone rings or someone texts me is how my day has gone. I think it's Friday?

Posted by: ChristyBlinkyTheGreat at October 16, 2026 05:53 PM (hzuYO)

166 Earlier this month I did a meet and got 1170lbs total on the big three.
280lbs bench.
395lbs squat.
495lbs deadlift.

All judge witnessed and approved. I'm happy.

On Wednesday I managed to bench 225lbs 8x in a row cleanly.
Posted by: bonhomme at October 16, 2026 05:49 PM (mkw2N)

What federation ran the meet?

Posted by: browndog says woof at October 16, 2026 05:53 PM (oCio0)

167 Some costume designer read that saddle shoes were a big thing in the 40s and 50s, read the description, and screwed it up.
The shoes in that pic are a joke.
Posted by: buddhaha at October 16, 2026 05:52 PM (t0yyD)

I did not notice the shoes.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at October 16, 2026 05:53 PM (Y/06r)

168 Elementary is a great series. I like it more than Sherlock, when you compare both series in toto .

Yeah I'll give you that. Sherlock had 1 great season and went downhill like that dude that fell out of a ride. Elementary is a better show if you pretend its not Sherlock Holmes, though.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at October 16, 2026 05:54 PM (nIKjK)

169 Its just offensive to me as a fan of medieval period pieces.
==
As an aside, MC Hammer stole his dance from You can't Touch this and baggy pants look from the big dance number in the 1955 Movie Court Jester starring Danny Kaye. Watch it - it jumps right out at you.

Sure, its a medieval period piece. Featuring line dance, and hypnosis.

Posted by: yikes at October 16, 2026 05:54 PM (anL5R)

170 I hope that I live as long as I want to, and, "Want To" for as long as I live!

Posted by: what the cat drug in at October 16, 2026 05:54 PM (jrgJz)

171 Quick honey unplug, I've got a boner!

Posted by: wth at October 16, 2026 05:54 PM (UjdFS)

172 I think the Muslims may have stolen Sodemy and the Lash from the British Navy.

I'm willing to let it slide.

Posted by: Troll ... Not Troll ... You Make the Call at October 16, 2026 05:55 PM (pO96l)

173 >>I've started to get an eye tic if my cell phone rings or someone texts me is how my day has gone. I think it's Friday?

It is, and I hope your mom gets better soon, if that's possible? (Spent recent years assisting dad with terminal illness, so I get it if it's more maintenance during decline vs. recovery)

Posted by: Lizzy at October 16, 2026 05:55 PM (rOKnE)

174 What is it with the damn Jews?

New York Post
@nypost
Hasan Piker rips NY Jewish voters betraying Democratic Party - blames Israel

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Mr. September 2026 at October 16, 2026 05:55 PM (ndZc7)

175 anL5R, Hammer stole from the greats, which is why he is one of the greats himself.

Posted by: 88C+u at October 16, 2026 05:56 PM (88C+u)

176 New York Post
@nypost
Hasan Piker rips NY Jewish voters betraying Democratic Party - blames Israel

We must vote harder !!!

(the man knows his audience)

Posted by: NYC Jews at October 16, 2026 05:56 PM (pO96l)

177 Yeah I'll give you that. Sherlock had 1 great season and went downhill like that dude that fell out of a ride. Elementary is a better show if you pretend its not Sherlock Holmes, though.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor

A great season? The first EPSIODE was amazing, but everything else was pretty downhill for me. A few cool moments here and there, but overall way to pretentious and proto-"modern audience".

Posted by: Intercepted Reddit Transmissions brought by the Intrepid AoS Liaison at October 16, 2026 05:57 PM (0y8TN)

178 Among his tests: He wears some kind of a genital cuff around his dong at night because nighttime erections have been linked to longevity.

Well hell. If this is true, then at my age I'm a walking corpse. I bet Mrs D is in on this!
Eff it. Where's the scotch?

Posted by: Diogenes at October 16, 2026 05:57 PM (2WIwB)

179
What is with Microsoft updated Word every few days?

All I want is a stable word processor.

Assholes.

Posted by: naturalfake at October 16, 2026 05:58 PM (YSUhf)

180 I like it more than Sherlock, when you compare both series in toto .
==
Sherlock jumped the shark fairly quickly. The episode where they brought sherlock back to life was a fail.

The sherlock holmes that is on Prime this year "Young Sherlock" is actually pretty decent. Its not fantastic, but it is well above average for most stuff on tv these days.

Posted by: yikes at October 16, 2026 05:58 PM (anL5R)

181 155 "I also have been watching Elementary and noticed someone was murdered by an injections of potassium chloride, which caused a heart attack."

Elementary is a great series. I like it more than Sherlock, when you compare both series in toto .
Posted by: Darrell Harris at October 16, 2026 05:51 PM (QnOs/)
***********

As the edumacation portion of AOS today:

A u wave in an EKG indicates low potassium or hypokalemia.

Severe hypokalemia can cause your brain to swell to the size of a Somolian's and pop goes the weasel.

Posted by: ChristyBlinkyTheGreat at October 16, 2026 05:58 PM (hzuYO)

182
He's a weirdo. Also monitors his son's erections. Ewww.

Posted by: Frank Barone at October 16, 2026 05:59 PM (OkYzo)

183 A great season? The first EPSIODE was amazing, but everything else was pretty downhill for me. A few cool moments here and there, but overall way to pretentious and proto-"modern audience".

The fourth episode where they introduce the queer Moriarty was a letdown but I liked the other ones.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at October 16, 2026 05:59 PM (nIKjK)

184 Now y'all be nice to Terry...Terry's a big guy and you might end up dyin' from dissin' Terry.

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at October 16, 2026 05:59 PM (l3cgK)

185 > What federation ran the meet?

USPA I think?

Posted by: bonhomme at October 16, 2026 06:00 PM (mkw2N)

186 dysentery???

What do you call a vegan with dysentery?

A salad shooter!

Posted by: Diogenes at October 16, 2026 06:00 PM (2WIwB)

187 Your damn fault!

Senator Adam Schiff
@SenAdamSchiff
A teenager used a gun to murder innocent children.
An educator died in a job that should not be life threatening.
And yet the GOP majority will again resist any meaningful effort to stop the next school shooting.
This is the reality of the current Congress. And it’s heartbreaking.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Mr. September 2026 at October 16, 2026 06:00 PM (ndZc7)

188 179
What is with Microsoft updated Word every few days?

All I want is a stable word processor.

Assholes.

Posted by: naturalfake at October 16, 2026 05:58 PM (YSUhf)

Your frustration is nothing compared to the people who work on it every day to constantly fix a word processor that's been on the market for over forty years.

Think of those poor Indian bastard working and slaving over a hot Intel CPU all day.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at October 16, 2026 06:01 PM (6ydKt)

189 They made this shit up. Which shit? Chronologically or alphabetically?

Posted by: Hokey Pokey at October 16, 2026 06:02 PM (wxsGM)

190 Good news for those who try to get 10,000 steps per day -- 7,000 steps (which is much more achievable, as you get 2-3000 just by normally puttering around) delivers most of the benefits of 10,000.

. . .

Posted by: Lindsay Clancy at October 16, 2026 06:02 PM (l3cgK)

191 Think of those poor Indian bastard working and slaving over a hot Intel CPU all day.
Posted by: SpeakingOf
.......

They can just take their 15 minute break in the river.

Posted by: wth at October 16, 2026 06:04 PM (UjdFS)

192 “I'm staring to think this guy might be a flake.” Too funny.

Posted by: Denny Crane! at October 16, 2026 06:04 PM (tLO4a)

193 Generally the funeral homes use just the wrong shade of lip gloss to hide the blue lips.
Posted by: Kindltot at October 16, 2026 05:49 PM (rbvCR)

Almost laughed at John (late, first) Husband's funeral because the embalmers put rouge on him. They didn't realize he actually *was* that pale in life, so the pink cheeks looked super weird.

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette at October 16, 2026 06:04 PM (lFFaq)

194 Anyone got any gains?

About 35 lbs since December...

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at October 16, 2026 06:04 PM (l3cgK)

195 Anyone got any gains?

I bragged about this before, but I'm proud, so I'll do it again.

Earlier this month I did a meet and got 1170lbs total on the big three.
280lbs bench.
395lbs squat.
495lbs deadlift.

All judge witnessed and approved. I'm happy.

On Wednesday I managed to bench 225lbs 8x in a row cleanly.
Posted by: bonhomme at October 16, 2026 05:49 PM (mkw2N)

***

Gains???
*checks Dik-O-Meter*
Oh yeah!

Posted by: Diogenes at October 16, 2026 06:04 PM (2WIwB)

196 It is, and I hope your mom gets better soon, if that's possible? (Spent recent years assisting dad with terminal illness, so I get it if it's more maintenance during decline vs. recovery)
Posted by: Lizzy at October 16, 2026 05:55 PM (rOKnE)
*******
She's 95 and still sharp like her mother was. Beloved. Has sitters in the past 3wks 24/7 with long-term life insurance. Bro and his wife live down the road on the farm.

This is not our first rodeo as my father was home and bedridden for 5yrs with sitters and a good quality of life as far as not being neglected. She's a good Christian and we know where she's going and would prefer when it's her time for her to be home vs the insanity of a hospital or rehab. I'm telling you, this has been an insane two days. It could get crazier!

Being a realist it's a downhill spiral probably from now on.

Thank you. I tell bro long distance RN case mgr stuff and he, for the most part, listens to me.

Posted by: ChristyBlinkyTheGreat at October 16, 2026 06:04 PM (hzuYO)

197 What is with Microsoft updated Word every few days?

All I want is a stable word processor.

Open Word
Click Account
Click Update Options
Click Disable Updates

Posted by: bonhomme at October 16, 2026 06:05 PM (mkw2N)

198 Are the monitor wierdos married? Prenup? And where is the HIPAA penumbra?

Posted by: Hokey Pokey at October 16, 2026 06:05 PM (wxsGM)

199 Guy is measuring his erections and his last name is Johnson?

Interesting

Posted by: Steve_in_SoCal at October 16, 2026 06:05 PM (FxH7T)

200 Open Word
Click Account
Click Update Options
Click Disable Updates

Do it again when Windows updates next time

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at October 16, 2026 06:06 PM (nIKjK)

201
Gains???
*checks Dik-O-Meter*
Oh yeah!

Posted by: Diogenes at October 16, 2026 06:04 PM (2WIwB)

See! My device works!

Posted by: Bryan Johnson's Johnson at October 16, 2026 06:06 PM (l3cgK)

202 Easy for Schiff to say he's protected by armed security

Posted by: Smell the Glove at October 16, 2026 06:06 PM (kGIZD)

203 I wore saddle shoes from K through high school.

Plaid skirt (or jumper until 5th grade) blouse and knee high white socks. Blazer for Mass. chapel cap grade k-2.

Posted by: nurse ratched at October 16, 2026 06:06 PM (wOqQq)

204 What is with Microsoft updated Word every few days?
All I want is a stable word processor.
Assholes.
Posted by: naturalfake
__________

I still miss using WordPerfect.

Posted by: Biff Pocoroba at October 16, 2026 06:07 PM (JzUSu)

205 Schiff, STFU you pencil-necked commie fucktard. Go play with your Erect-O-Tool.

Posted by: Diogenes at October 16, 2026 06:07 PM (2WIwB)

206 > *checks Dik-O-Meter*

Is this a compliment or an insult?

Posted by: bonhomme at October 16, 2026 06:07 PM (mkw2N)

207 Also monitors his son's erections. Ewww.
Posted by: Frank Barone at October 16, 2026 05:59 PM (OkYzo)

That's a problem?

Posted by: Katy Padilla Stout at October 16, 2026 06:08 PM (88C+u)

208 206 > *checks Dik-O-Meter*

Is this a compliment or an insult?

Posted by: bonhomme at October 16, 2026 06:07 PM (mkw2N)

Don't ask us.

Posted by: dik-diks at October 16, 2026 06:08 PM (l3cgK)

209 Top picture caption:
"Here honey, shove this up your hoo-hah."
"Sure sweetie, now insert this up your butthoe."
"Luv U."
"Luv U 2."

Posted by: wth at October 16, 2026 06:08 PM (UjdFS)

210 185 > What federation ran the meet?

USPA I think?
Posted by: bonhomme at October 16, 2026 06:00 PM (mkw2N)

What category of "29" are you Masters 1 / 2 / 3 /4 ?

What weight class ?

Inquiring minds and all that ...

Posted by: browndog says woof at October 16, 2026 06:09 PM (oCio0)

211 Is this a compliment or an insult?
Posted by: bonhomme at October 16, 2026 06:07 PM (mkw2N)

Compliment. Definitely.

Posted by: Diogenes at October 16, 2026 06:09 PM (2WIwB)

212 22 Those two people look like robots trying to pass themselves off as human.

There's a definite "Uncanny Valley" vibe...

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at October 16, 2026 05:23 PM (FZ29D)

My first thought looking at that pic. Are they related to Mark Zuckerberg?

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at October 16, 2026 06:10 PM (l3cgK)

213 I'm late 40s and weighed mid 230s.

Is this going to dox me?

Posted by: bonhomme at October 16, 2026 06:11 PM (mkw2N)

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