Tuesday Overnight Open Thread - September 8, 2026

Howdy Hordelings! The Tuesday ONT is here. On time, as always. Open thread, as always. Ready to be whelmed?

***

We now understand why that extra 1 second appeared on the clock in the Michigan vs Western Michigan game on Saturday (language warning)

Leave it to good ol’ Jim Harbaugh and a bucket of cash! I’m dying over here!🤣 pic.twitter.com/Zm0KjGTFDF
— Shannon Hill (@ShannonMFHill) September 8, 2026

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Tough times financially lately for Nike.

Nike exits the S&P 100 after 18 years and a $200 billion market-cap wipeout

One of the largest sports and athletic-wear companies of the modern day may be disappointing its namesake. Nike, the sportswear company named after the Greek goddess of victory, is losing its spot in the top 100 U.S. companies for the first time in nearly two decades. The athletic apparel giant lost over $200 billion in market cap since its all-time high in 2021, a near 80% drop in just the five years that have passed, and a plummet so severe that the once mighty company is no longer listed on the S&P 100.

Article is paywalled, but you get the idea.

15 minute video here - pretty good analysis

Pretty clear to us normies as to what happened to Nike

“Why is Nike collapsing?” pic.twitter.com/IGSRFAAa43
— TONY (@TonyMichaelX) September 6, 2026

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Donating stuff for charity is good, right? Maybe not always!

Maryland man fights tickets tied to SUV he donated to charity

A Maryland man who donated his disabled SUV to charity says he spent months fighting traffic and toll violations after someone allegedly forged documents to register the vehicle in his name.
Stu Martin said he donated his 2015 Ford Escape to a charity last fall after the vehicle's transmission failed. The donation appeared to benefit both parties. Martin signed over the title, surrendered the tags and no longer owned the vehicle.

"I haven't had it since it was towed away in November," Martin said. "Signed away the title, turned the tags in."
About six months later, however, Martin began receiving speed camera and toll violation notices in the mail.

Check out the whole thing.

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Strangers become bros forever!

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70 year old can of unopened corn chips. Would you eat them?

Wait… they ate that?

Would you eat a chip from a 70-year-old can? 😳😳

Built in can opener?

Let's bring those back. I like that idea. 🩷 pic.twitter.com/0jB2FaFn3c
— EARTH!🇺🇸 (@earthing5000) September 8, 2026

The way the can was opened is so kewl!

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Damn - this is impressive

Wanna see this woman house a burrito in a world record 30 seconds? pic.twitter.com/8EC8nxgtGP
— Barstool Sports (@barstoolsports) September 8, 2026

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Also quite impressive. So much so, the official account of the original artist reposted it!

WoW 🎸🫶 pic.twitter.com/PfuowuLWtk
— Dire Straits 🎸 (@DireStraits77) September 8, 2026

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Beauty acting, eh?

Musicians Who Act

Geddy Lee on Murdoch Mysteries episode titled "Devil Music"

Name of his character…Thomas Sawyer 😉 pic.twitter.com/Xq8MYaoe3a
— GenTXer2 (@GenTXer2) September 7, 2026

***

DJ Doof - This Date in Music History Edition

Rush's album Hold Your Fire was released on this date in 1987

Coincidentally, today is Aimee Mann's birthday (born in 1960). She sang on the song "Time Stand Still" from that album.

Here's Aimee with 'Til Tuesday - a great song and a great video

Ron "Pigpen" McKernan, organ, and one of the founding members of Grateful Dead was born on this date in 1945

***

Tonight's ONT brought to you by preparedness

***

Doof Enterprises, LLC wonders if it's now "unofficially Fall" since yesterday was the "unofficial end of Summer". Or is there some interim season between the "unofficial end of Summer" and the actual start of Autumn? Are we currently in the first day of Sumtumn? Or Pre-Fall? Help!

Your feedback may or may not be very important to Doof Enterprises. Follow Mr. Doof on X @doof2112 or do the email thing – doof2112 at proton dot me.

Posted by: Doof at 10:04 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Nothing better than an ONT to end the day. Well, in text anyway.

Posted by: mindful webworker - Fishy at September 08, 2026 10:04 PM (aKb34)

2 1st

Posted by: LRob in OK at September 08, 2026 10:05 PM (Jr+re)

3 Food!

Posted by: Bulg at September 08, 2026 10:06 PM (77rzZ)

4 On time, as always. 10:04

That being, whenever it's posted, right?

Posted by: mindful webworker - by the rules at September 08, 2026 10:06 PM (aKb34)

5 Where's that duck?

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at September 08, 2026 10:07 PM (4tmEn)

6 Own the floor?

More like pity the floor.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Rock 'n' Roll Martian at September 08, 2026 10:08 PM (0aYVJ)

7 Again, up for the ONT.
What am I doing with my life?

Posted by: RI Red at September 08, 2026 10:08 PM (StM0P)

8 Thanks for the ONT, Doof!

For anyone wondering - the interview got cancelled again, they filled the slot. My efforts continue. I get so very tired of this. I pray for the right job to make itself known soon. Or for whatever God wants, to make itself clear to my sight soon.

Tomorrow around lunch I'll ping the ones I'm waiting for feedback from, as politely as I can, except the ones that I know for sure won't be done evaluating candidates yet.

Posted by: RandomDave (if you can spare a bit, please click!) at September 08, 2026 10:08 PM (aJQbY)

9 Tough times financially lately for Nike.

Nike exits the S&P 100 after 18 years and a $200 billion market-cap wipeout

===

Oh, that's 🤣🤣 too bad 🤣🤣🤣

Posted by: runner at September 08, 2026 10:09 PM (AKptf)

10 As to the weather... I swear every year summer lasts a little longer... and now I have the "Big Red gum" jingle in my head, curse you Doof!

Posted by: RandomDave (if you can spare a bit, please click!) at September 08, 2026 10:09 PM (aJQbY)

11 I don’t know why Burrito Woman is so proud, my dog could do that.

Posted by: Tom Servo at September 08, 2026 10:11 PM (mqcW8)

12 Eating a burrito like that CANNOT be good for you.

Posted by: Archimedes at September 08, 2026 10:11 PM (Riz8t)

13 We’re supposed to do something with our lives?

Posted by: Bulg at September 08, 2026 10:11 PM (77rzZ)

14 70 year old can of unopened corn chips. Would you eat them?

Ha!
Ever had C Rations?

Posted by: Diogenes at September 08, 2026 10:11 PM (2WIwB)

15 Thanks for the ONT, Disco.
Guitar kid = awesome.

Posted by: scampydog at September 08, 2026 10:12 PM (41CYW)

16 We’re supposed to do something with our lives?
Posted by: Bulg at September 08, 2026 10:11 PM (77rzZ)

Oh.
I misread the instructions.

Posted by: RI Red at September 08, 2026 10:12 PM (StM0P)

17 Geddy Lee made two visits to the McKenzie Brothers Great White North. Once to record his part on their Hit Single "Take Off" and once on a special they did.

Posted by: Canadian Legends, All at September 08, 2026 10:13 PM (Fn+3X)

18 Again, up for the ONT.
What am I doing with my life?
Posted by: RI Red at September 08, 2026 10:08 PM (StM0P)

You're being whelmed. Enjoy it!

Posted by: Doof at September 08, 2026 10:13 PM (QMAsf)

19 70 year old can of unopened corn chips. Would you eat them?

Maybe not 70 year old. But chips tend to last a long time. About four years ago in about April I saw a couple of bags of Kettle Brand jalapeño potato chips in the discount section of the local grocery store. They were there because they were set to expire in a few days. I was planning on making potato chip cookies and thought jalapeño might be good.

But Things Got In The Way and then summer travel and holiday travel and… it was April again, and I still hadn’t made those cookies.

Well, it can’t hurt to open one of the bags, they might still be good enough for cookies. They were. And good enough for eating, too; I made one batch of cookies, and needed to open the other bag for the second batch, because I’d eaten too many while waiting for the first batch to finish.

Jalapeño potato chip cookies very good, especially the sandies variety.

Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at September 08, 2026 10:14 PM (AgH9j)

20 Geddy Lee made two visits to the McKenzie Brothers Great White North. Once to record his part on their Hit Single "Take Off" and once on a special they did.
Posted by: Canadian Legends, All at September 08, 2026 10:13 PM (Fn+3X)

"Ten bucks is ten bucks"

Posted by: Doof at September 08, 2026 10:14 PM (QMAsf)

21 Doof, here in OK it ain't even pretending to be the end of summer. I guess it'll cool off by Thanksgiving or so.

Posted by: LRob in OK at September 08, 2026 10:15 PM (Jr+re)

22 Sorry I'm late, I was fitting a bald eagle for a toupée.

Posted by: tankdemon at September 08, 2026 10:15 PM (yb/17)

23 70 year old can of unopened corn chips. Would you eat them?

===

I need to know what else is on the menu...

Posted by: runner at September 08, 2026 10:15 PM (AKptf)

24 Pigpen was the only member of the band not "Busted down on Bourbon Street" for LSD possession. His demon was hard likker and he pickled his liver and died at 27.

Posted by: Dead Lore at September 08, 2026 10:15 PM (Fn+3X)

25 Good evening morons e grazie Disco.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at September 08, 2026 10:15 PM (RIvkX)

26 Sorry I'm late, I was fitting a bald eagle for a toupée.
Posted by: tankdemon at September 08, 2026 10:15 PM (yb/17)

This is one sure way to become a jailbird.

Posted by: runner at September 08, 2026 10:15 PM (AKptf)

27 A good seal makes a difference. Just ask any orca.

(Any hole in the seal, the chips or whatever go stale at best)

Posted by: RandomDave (if you can spare a bit, please click!) at September 08, 2026 10:16 PM (aJQbY)

28 We’re supposed to do something with our lives?
Posted by: Bulg at September 08, 2026 10:11 PM (77rzZ)

Life does kinda work better if you do!

Posted by: Doof at September 08, 2026 10:16 PM (QMAsf)

29 I feel oddly attracted to Burrito Gal.

Posted by: wth at September 08, 2026 10:17 PM (oq9dX)

30 RandomDave, sorry to read this. I know how discouraging this can be. Maybe, just maybe, the "right" job hasn't opened up yet, and you are using these other opportunities to practice your interviewing skills for that job...hang in there and keep believing. It will happen...

Posted by: The Grateful - R at September 08, 2026 10:18 PM (XfIK1)

31 Thanks for the ONT, Disco.
Guitar kid = awesome.
Posted by: scampydog at September 08, 2026 10:12 PM (41CYW)

*tosses treat to Doggo*

Posted by: Doof at September 08, 2026 10:18 PM (QMAsf)

32 Again, up for the ONT.
What am I doing with my life?
Posted by: RI Red at September 08, 2026 10:08 PM (StM0P)

You're being whelmed. Enjoy it!
Posted by: Doof at September 08, 2026 10:13 PM (QMAsf)

Well, hell. Might as well.

Posted by: RI Red at September 08, 2026 10:18 PM (StM0P)

33 Do something with your life, before life does something with you!

Posted by: Not Seneca at September 08, 2026 10:18 PM (AKptf)

34 I didn't realize we were scheduled for a leap second on Saturday until I saw the sports highlights..

Posted by: tankdemon at September 08, 2026 10:19 PM (yb/17)

35 Also quite impressive. So much so, the official account of the original artist reposted it!

___________________________

Thats a check mark in the Win column. When you crush a well known song on the guitar and the original artists go:

"WOW"

Posted by: Orson at September 08, 2026 10:19 PM (dIske)

36 Damn - this is impressive

No, no it isn't. Can't stand watching women eat like pigs. Not gonna do it.

Posted by: OrangeEnt at September 08, 2026 10:19 PM (1Ff7Z)

37 "Are we currently in the first day of Sumtumn? Or Pre-Fall? Help!"

Pre-fall for me is usually my fifth martini.

Posted by: tankdemon at September 08, 2026 10:21 PM (yb/17)

38 Are we currently in the first day of Sumtumn? Or Pre-Fall? Help!

And is it OK to wear white?

Posted by: LRob in OK at September 08, 2026 10:21 PM (Jr+re)

39 Evenin'

Posted by: Puddleglum, cheer up for the worst is yet to come at September 08, 2026 10:21 PM (sAmhv)

40 Doof, here in OK it ain't even pretending to be the end of summer. I guess it'll cool off by Thanksgiving or so.
Posted by: LRob in OK at September 08, 2026 10:15 PM (Jr+re)

Mid 50s when I woke up today. Wore a hoodie to work at 7. Was mostly outside today. Hoodie was gone by 8:30 - it was 70 and climbing. Turned out to be a perfectly non-humid 80 degree day. Nicely chilly again this evening. I could get used to it!

Posted by: Doof at September 08, 2026 10:21 PM (QMAsf)

41 If I've only one life, let me live it as a blonde.

Posted by: Lady Clairol at September 08, 2026 10:21 PM (Fn+3X)

42 I'm not even sure where to buy Fenix ammo but I should find out.

Posted by: Oddbob at September 08, 2026 10:21 PM (vTZFs)

43 Wanna see this woman house a burrito in a world record 30 seconds?
====

Not in a million years.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at September 08, 2026 10:22 PM (RIvkX)

44 For anyone wondering - the interview got cancelled again, they filled the slot. My efforts continue.…
Posted by: RandomDave

Job hunt is tough. Count your blessings, though. You could be gal-hunting. Unless you are that too, in which case, double sympathy.

Posted by: mindful webworker - or so I hear at September 08, 2026 10:22 PM (aKb34)

45 Ha!
Ever had C Rations?
Posted by: Diogenes

Didja notice the '10-43' date stamped on the can?

Yeah, packed on October of 1943.

Posted by: Tonypete at September 08, 2026 10:22 PM (WXg6e)

46 Preparedness... well... some roving gangs of feral men in Europe...and some parts of Michigan (and sadly, Texas)... should know more about the business end of that girl's practice.

Posted by: techsan at September 08, 2026 10:23 PM (uNveu)

47 Greetings Everyone!

Hello Mr. Doof. Thank you for content.

Not much to say tonight. Obscenely hot and humid tonight in the land of fruits and nutzes thanks to Tropical Storm Maria. Actually weather folks saying this could be record breaking humility but they don't keep records of that.

Feels like Arkansas and Missouri weather followed us home!

Posted by: Anonymous Rogue in Kalifornistan (ARiK's phone) at September 08, 2026 10:23 PM (QGaXH)

48 Thats a check mark in the Win column. When you crush a well known song on the guitar and the original artists go:

"WOW"

Am I the only cynic who suspects that it may be AI?

Posted by: Oddbob at September 08, 2026 10:24 PM (vTZFs)

49 Eating a burrito like that CANNOT be good for you.
Posted by: Archimedes
.......

You don't really need that gall bladder.

Posted by: wth at September 08, 2026 10:24 PM (oq9dX)

50 Evening all!

Tasty offerings in tonight's ONT Herr Doof.

More evidence of your COB-worthiness!

Posted by: Zeera , Damn Right I voted for all of this! at September 08, 2026 10:25 PM (GhY67)

51 Great ONT, but I'm not buying the burrito thing. About 7-9 seconds in she pauses after a big bite, but her mouth appears empty. Seems odd.

Posted by: 496 at September 08, 2026 10:25 PM (KJYe0)

52 I'm not even sure where to buy Fenix ammo but I should find out.
Posted by: Oddbob at September 08, 2026 10:21 PM (vTZFs)

42920 W 10 Mile Road

Unit 13-18

Novi, MI 48375

Posted by: RI Red at September 08, 2026 10:25 PM (StM0P)

53 For anyone wondering - the interview got cancelled again, they filled the slot. My efforts continue.…

Posted by: RandomDave

Sorry. I got a thanks but ~~fuck off~~ no thanks email Friday from what I thought was my best shot since January.

Posted by: Oddbob at September 08, 2026 10:25 PM (vTZFs)

54 No, no it isn't. Can't stand watching women eat like pigs. Not gonna do it.
Posted by: OrangeEnt at September 08, 2026 10:19 PM (1Ff7Z)

But she's kinda hawt

Posted by: Doof at September 08, 2026 10:26 PM (QMAsf)

55 38 Are we currently in the first day of Sumtumn? Or Pre-Fall? Help!

And is it OK to wear white?
Posted by: LRob in OK at September 08, 2026 10:21 PM (Jr+re)

Piper definitively addressed this issue on Sunday.

Posted by: tankdemon at September 08, 2026 10:26 PM (yb/17)

56 We saw Phil Lesh's son's Grateful Dead cover band in GG park yesterday. They were unexpectedly good.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at September 08, 2026 10:27 PM (RIvkX)

57 Done my one good deed for the day.
Night, all!

Posted by: RI Red at September 08, 2026 10:27 PM (StM0P)

58 Am I the only cynic who suspects that it may be AI?
Posted by: Oddbob at September 08, 2026 10:24 PM (vTZFs)

__________________

Now I'm going to check. I hate this era.

Posted by: Orson at September 08, 2026 10:27 PM (dIske)

59 Sunny and mid 70s here today. Pretty rainy last weekend. Upper 50s in the panhandle. A buddy was camping in the mountains and saw snow flurries.

Last week it was upper 90s.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Rock 'n' Roll Martian at September 08, 2026 10:28 PM (0aYVJ)

60 RUSH!!

70 year old corn chips from a can. Well, I have a 12 oz can of Iron City beer circa 1979. It's got a team photo of the SB winning Pittsburgh Steelers on it. Never been opened. I won't open it due to probable HAZMAT situation if opened.

Posted by: Puddleglum, cheer up for the worst is yet to come at September 08, 2026 10:28 PM (sAmhv)

61 For anyone wondering - the interview got cancelled again, they filled the slot. My efforts continue.…
Posted by: RandomDave

====

This wasn't it.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at September 08, 2026 10:29 PM (RIvkX)

62 Thanks for the ONT, Doof.

Theme for an imaginary western is one of the most beautiful songs by Mountain along with Nantucket Sleighride.

Probably my second rock concert after Three Dog Night in HS. I think they came to Jackson, MS because of "Mississippi Queen." There were no large concert arenas closer to Vicksburg. I was so goofy I did not know they were at Woodstock for decades. While Leslie West was nothing to look at, he could sing. I fancied Felix Pappalardi in looks and as a bass player; who were my choice of guitar boyfriends til I met the acoustic guy I married. I remain mad that his wife killed him.

My generation simply took it for granted that music would be this great forever. Thankful I heard a lot live and partied to great music through the '80's.

That kid playing some Dire Straits is amazing. Wow.

I know why you posted that woman eating a burrito, Doof. I was waiting for her to unhinge her jaw like a snake. Gross.

Posted by: ChristyBlinkyTheGreat at September 08, 2026 10:29 PM (hzuYO)

63 Sorry I'm late, I was fitting a bald eagle for a toupée.
Posted by: tankdemon at September 08, 2026 10:15 PM (yb/17)

Getting him ready to perch on President Trump's shoulder for a photoshoot? Matching Trump's hairstyle?

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at September 08, 2026 10:29 PM (qx7Zg)

64 "Ten bucks is ten bucks"
Posted by: Doof at September 08, 2026 10:14 PM (QMAsf)
-------
"All I got is two fives"

- Jean "Rosie" LaRose

Posted by: 496 at September 08, 2026 10:30 PM (wFoR+)

65 But she's kinda hawt
Posted by: Doof at September 08, 2026 10:26 PM (QMAsf)

Now. But if she continues doing that kind of stuff, she'll be three hundred pounds.

Posted by: OrangeEnt at September 08, 2026 10:30 PM (1Ff7Z)

66

I've never seen the word "house" used to describe eating a burrito.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at September 08, 2026 10:30 PM (Cqx++)

67 Am I the only cynic who suspects that it may be AI?
Posted by: Oddbob at September 08, 2026 10:24 PM (vTZFs)

Hmmmm. He does use a possible phantom whammy bar at the end. Not sure I've ever seen a whammy bar on an acoustic guitar.

Posted by: Doof at September 08, 2026 10:30 PM (QMAsf)

68 57 Done my one good deed for the day.
Night, all!
Posted by: RI Red at September 08, 2026 10:27 PM (StM0P)

Wait-- that's supposed to be daily? I thought it was an annual requirement, like flossing.

Posted by: tankdemon at September 08, 2026 10:31 PM (yb/17)

69 Doof, here in OK it ain't even pretending to be the end of summer. I guess it'll cool off by Thanksgiving or so.
Posted by: LRob in OK

Daughter came by and said it was so hot, just going from house to car to into our house she felt like she needed a nap.

MiladyJo said, After Wednesday, there will be rain and it will cool off.

Riiiight. I'll believe it when I feel it.

Posted by: mindful webworker - taint the heat, it's... okay, it's the heat at September 08, 2026 10:31 PM (aKb34)

70 Dave - keep putting in those applications for Post Office jobs as they open up. Apply for every one, mail handler, clerk, carrier, janitor, whatever. Sooner or later they’ll call you in.

Posted by: Common Tater at September 08, 2026 10:32 PM (l0/3j)

71 I'd check for bugs but I'd eat the chips.

Posted by: From about That Time at September 08, 2026 10:33 PM (sl73Y)

72 Dave - keep putting in those applications for Post Office jobs as they open up. Apply for every one, mail handler, clerk, carrier, janitor, whatever. Sooner or later they’ll call you in.
Posted by: Common Tater at September 08, 2026 10:32 PM (l0/3j)

Yep. There's always an opening. Sometimes multiple on the same day.

Posted by: "Postal" worker at September 08, 2026 10:34 PM (1Ff7Z)

73 G’night, All.

Posted by: Bulg at September 08, 2026 10:34 PM (77rzZ)

74 Honestly, that little girl would probably be better off with a Mossberg Shockwave in 20ga, or a good bayonet. Mom is going to be way too close for a non-SBR AR-15. Use the right tool for the job.

Now, if she needs to shoot the pervert who tried to get into her bedroom and is now fleeing over the backyard fence, that AR-15 would be perfect....

Posted by: GWB at September 08, 2026 10:34 PM (kU0PQ)

75 Last thing I remember that type of keyed can used for was sardines and the like.

Posted by: From about That Time at September 08, 2026 10:34 PM (sl73Y)

76 Evening all!

Tasty offerings in tonight's ONT Herr Doof.

More evidence of your COB-worthiness!
Posted by: Zeera , Damn Right I voted for all of this! at September 08, 2026 10:25 PM (GhY67)

Thanks. Free Club ONT restroom token for your kind words!

Posted by: Doof at September 08, 2026 10:34 PM (QMAsf)

77 Great ONT, but I'm not buying the burrito thing. About 7-9 seconds in she pauses after a big bite, but her mouth appears empty. Seems odd.
Posted by: 496 at September 08, 2026 10:25 PM (KJYe0)

Let's just say she's learned to swallow fast. *ahem*

Posted by: GWB at September 08, 2026 10:35 PM (kU0PQ)

78 58 Am I the only cynic who suspects that it may be AI?
Posted by: Oddbob at September 08, 2026 10:24 PM (vTZFs)

__________________

Now I'm going to check. I hate this era.
Posted by: Orson at September 08, 2026 10:27 PM (dIske)
_________________________

He's legit. It's a 13 year old kid from China who is won the adult guitar competition two consecutive years. His name is Liu Jiazhuo. The kid is a legend in China.

Posted by: Orson at September 08, 2026 10:35 PM (dIske)

79 I've never seen the word "house" used to describe eating a burrito.
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at September 08, 2026 10:30 PM (Cqx++)

Would "snarf" work better for you?

Posted by: Doof at September 08, 2026 10:36 PM (QMAsf)

80 record breaking humility
Posted by: Anonymous Rogue in Kalifornistan (ARiK's phone) at September 08, 2026 10:23 PM (QGaXH)

In California? That would be a low bar.

Posted by: GWB at September 08, 2026 10:36 PM (kU0PQ)

81 Is the top picture the Smokies?

Posted by: From about That Time at September 08, 2026 10:36 PM (sl73Y)

82 Let's just say she's learned to swallow fast. *ahem*
Posted by: GWB at September 08, 2026 10:35 PM

Is that bad?

Posted by: Old Lady Emhoff at September 08, 2026 10:38 PM (2Ez/1)

83 60 years of technology x how terms have changed.

https://youtu.be/zYie4YDlSJg

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at September 08, 2026 10:39 PM (qx7Zg)

84 70 year old can of unopened corn chips. Would you eat them?

===

I need to know what else is on the menu...
Posted by: runner at September 08, 2026 10:15 PM (AKptf)

A 65yo jar of Cheese Whiz?

Posted by: GWB at September 08, 2026 10:39 PM (kU0PQ)

85 Last thing I remember that type of keyed can used for was sardines and the like.
Posted by: From about That Time

Yeah, it has been a long, long time since I saw that kind of key opener.

Posted by: mindful webworker - I've got a brand new can of corn chips, you've got a brand new key at September 08, 2026 10:40 PM (aKb34)

86 A 65yo jar of Cheese Whiz?

A 52 year old Twinkie indistinguishable from one bought yesterday?

Posted by: Oddbob at September 08, 2026 10:40 PM (vTZFs)

87 I saw Phantom Whammy Bar open for Grinderswitch on their Pickin' The Blues Tour in 1975.

Posted by: Mel's Rockpile at September 08, 2026 10:41 PM (Fn+3X)

88
Would "snarf" work better for you?
Posted by: Doof

That would be acceptable. Also maybe "scoff"

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at September 08, 2026 10:42 PM (Cqx++)

89 Nikes run anywhere from 90 to 300 dollars a pair, for a shoe made in a Chinese factory.

It’s no wonder they’ve plummeted in value.

You can a better quality shoe also made in China for half the price.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at September 08, 2026 10:42 PM (XV/Pl)

90 If you like the Dire Straits cover, check out Kent Nishimura's videos on YouTube. He is especially good at making a single guitar sound like the entire Steely Dan ensemble.

Posted by: PabloD at September 08, 2026 10:43 PM (zIBZT)

91 Not sure I've ever seen a whammy bar on an acoustic guitar.

Don’t think I have either. There’s no technical reason why an acoustic couldn’t have one, though. The whammy bar adjusts the lengths of the actual strings to achieve its effect; it doesn’t do anything electronically.

Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at September 08, 2026 10:44 PM (AgH9j)

92 29 I feel oddly attracted to Burrito Gal.
Posted by: wth at September 08, 2026 10:17 PM (oq9dX)

-------

you are not alone....

Posted by: Matthew Kant Cipher at September 08, 2026 10:44 PM (JqJBt)

93 If you have an extra 24 minutes, Tiny Tim's rendition of Rebel Yell far outclasses the original.

Posted by: Australia, 1993 at September 08, 2026 10:45 PM (Fn+3X)

94 For anyone wondering - the interview got cancelled again, they filled the slot. My efforts continue.…

Posted by: RandomDave

Sorry. I got a thanks but fuck off no thanks email Friday from what I thought was my best shot since January.
Posted by: Oddbob at September 08, 2026 10:25 PM (vTZFs)

Yeah, I had a contingent offer letter at one point. And it took me prodding them to even her that the prime had "gone another route" (code for, the other sub filled the position better than us).

But I'm keeping you two in my prayers. God answered my needs with a new job last week. Hopefully I can catch up on the mortgage quickly and get the new transmission paid for, too.

Posted by: GWB at September 08, 2026 10:45 PM (kU0PQ)

95 I kept canned Japanese octopus in my cabinet as a joke for years. I should not have. You guessed it: the can exploded. What a mess to clean up. Some things you should just not keep, even as a joke.

Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at September 08, 2026 10:47 PM (zeRnp)

96 Changed the oil and filter on my SUV today. Eleven bolts and a push pin had to come off to remove assorted skid plates and an air dam. Fortunately, it was a beautiful day for rolling around on my concrete driveway.

A cordless impact driver and deep well sockets made the job a lot easier than the first time I did it.

Posted by: Idaho Spudboy at September 08, 2026 10:47 PM (/yRoS)

97 80 record breaking humility
Posted by: Anonymous Rogue in Kalifornistan (ARiK's phone) at September 08, 2026 10:23 PM (QGaXH)

In California? That would be a low bar.
Posted by: GWB at September 08, 2026 10:36 PM (kU0PQ

That might have been a deliberate typo. I am a very quiet and somewhat reclusive person.

Low bar? Yes due to Marie the barometric pressure ain't nothin to write home about either....

Posted by: Anonymous Rogue in Kalifornistan (ARiK's phone) at September 08, 2026 10:47 PM (QGaXH)

98 Where are we with this

Posted by: Don Black at September 08, 2026 10:48 PM (TSDuf)

99 Burrito Gal got a Major Award (suitable for display) and everything!

Posted by: Count de Monet at September 08, 2026 10:48 PM (wVcYX)

100 100 - go ahead and get rowdy!

Posted by: LRob in OK at September 08, 2026 10:50 PM (Jr+re)

101 78 58 Am I the only cynic who suspects that it may be AI?
Posted by: Oddbob at September 08, 2026 10:24 PM (vTZFs)
***********
No. Some say a track was laid on top of his playing. I have no idea but it was impressive if it's real.

The little girl with the gun: I debated emailing sons & saying, "Remember the few times when Mom was a bit nuts and/or had PMS, plus a lotta work stress? I raised my voice to you as teens & you still lived to adulthood!"

A lot more stress than someone whose mother/MIL and nanny helped along with a husband at home & not working. I didn't "snap" as the three hag jurors decided. I had a glass of wine instead & told them I needed to rest for 30min in our bedroom.

The jurors blamed wicked insomnia (which I never had when baby's/toddlers were small & could drop off in minutes from lack of sleep). Anxiety (I have that at times now and don't murder). Depression...ok, I had that once for 2wks post flu & cried a lot but no energy or thought to murder anyone.

However, I was concerned the email might offend the more liberal of our DIL's (whom we love) if she saw it. I assume she won't murder their future children & that baby will have a lot of attention & help.

Posted by: ChristyBlinkyTheGreat at September 08, 2026 10:50 PM (hzuYO)

102 More whining about the pills and she "snapped." Her tox screen showed below therapeutic levels & not contributing.

Posted by: ChristyBlinkyTheGreat
----

Hormones

X - https://tinyurl.com/5n8taswh

xcancel - https://tinyurl.com/yc7zthdd

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at September 08, 2026 10:50 PM (4tmEn)

103 >I've never seen the word "house" used to describe eating a burrito.
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at September 08, 2026 10:30 PM (Cqx++)

Would "snarf" work better for you?

Posted by: Doof
------

the proper term is 'hork'

Posted by: Don Black at September 08, 2026 10:51 PM (ZxPkt)

104 70 year old chips? Eh, if the canister itself was still airtight, they might still be edible though probably stale (oxidized). Now they may have used something like lard or beef tallow for frying. This would be much better than hydrogenated vegetable oils, which would have all the flavor and aroma of varnish or paint by now.

Posted by: Common Tater at September 08, 2026 10:53 PM (l0/3j)

105 94 For anyone wondering - the interview got cancelled again, they filled the slot. My efforts continue.…

Posted by: RandomDave

Sorry. I got a thanks but fuck off no thanks email Friday from what I thought was my best shot since January.
Posted by: Oddbob at September 08, 2026 10:25 PM (vTZFs)

Yeah, I had a contingent offer letter at one point. And it took me prodding them to even her that the prime had "gone another route" (code for, the other sub filled the position better than us).

But I'm keeping you two in my prayers. God answered my needs with a new job last week. Hopefully I can catch up on the mortgage quickly and get the new transmission paid for, too.
Posted by: GWB at September 08, 2026 10:45 PM (kU0PQ)
******
Prayers for jobs for you both!

Posted by: ChristyBlinkyTheGreat at September 08, 2026 10:53 PM (hzuYO)

106 I had a 2016 Ford Escape 120k mil s and the transmission went out. 5-6 k to fix so I donated to a veterans charity Less than 10yrs old when I went bad. I’m done with buying Fords

Posted by: Big Alfredo at September 08, 2026 10:53 PM (nVdR7)

107 How do you make a hormone?

Don't pay her.

Posted by: Diogenes at September 08, 2026 10:54 PM (2WIwB)

108 I have an unopened 6 pack of RC Cola commemorating the Mets 1986 win, along with an RC '86 Mets duffel bag.

Posted by: Bring Your Kiddies, Bring Your Wife at September 08, 2026 10:54 PM (Fn+3X)

109 I saw a Bob Weir interview where he told a story about Pigpen and Janis Joplin in the next room. Did you guess that Janis was a screamer?

Posted by: Bilwis - Wizard of Clwyd at September 08, 2026 10:55 PM (r7+Q7)

110 91 Not sure I've ever seen a whammy bar on an acoustic guitar.

Don’t think I have either. There’s no technical reason why an acoustic couldn’t have one, though. The whammy bar adjusts the lengths of the actual strings to achieve its effect; it doesn’t do anything electronically.
Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at September 08, 2026 10:44 PM (AgH9j)

I don't think the internal structure of a normal acoustic guitar could handle the stress produced by a whammy bar...

My Taylor sure as hell couldn't... no place to mount it securely.

Posted by: Romeo13 at September 08, 2026 10:55 PM (mP0Kj)

111 Til Tuesday was a true overnight sensation with Voices Carry. Their tour in the Northeast had already been planned a lot of minor venues. Including Eisenhower Hall at West Point, NY. Ike Hall was like the student union at a normal school. It's a 5000 seat theater, but it isn't a major venue for acts. The audience is captive!

I don't know if the date at West Point was the first on the tour - but it was the first one after they blew up on MTV. Their manager was a piece of work because now he had genuine stars on his hands and here he was running them through Podunk stops. He was NOT very nice. The band on the other hand was. And Aimee Mann was a different personality from the rest of the band. Don't know what they were like before but the band had been backstage for a couple of hours. Mann came in maybe 20 minutes before curtain. And she looked...rough. All leather, hair in a scarf, looked kind of rode hard put away wet.

But after the opening act finished the spotlight came up on Aimee Mann in a gold sequined miniskirt and big 80s hair and makeup that was just so.

Several thousand members of the predominantly male audience were appreciative.

Posted by: blaster - Fortis Fortuna Adiuvat at September 08, 2026 10:56 PM (NlEaG)

112 A whammy bar on an acoustic guitar? It’s not a Gretsch G5034TFT Rancher Acoustic-Electric Guitar, so either it’s a custom, or it’s AI.

Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at September 08, 2026 10:58 PM (0Mn7M)

113 108 I have an unopened 6 pack of RC Cola commemorating the Mets 1986 win, along with an RC '86 Mets duffel bag.
Posted by: Bring Your Kiddies, Bring Your Wife at September 08, 2026 10:54 PM (Fn+3X)

My condolences.

Posted by: tcn in AK at September 08, 2026 10:58 PM (Ntshk)

114 Janis Joplin dated/lived with Country Joe McDonald in 1967 in Haight-Ashbury. He wrote the song "Janis" about her.

Posted by: "Summer of Love?" at September 08, 2026 11:00 PM (Fn+3X)

115 Some kid playing Dire Straits on a guitar. Poser. Try the Free Bird solo on a harmonica.

https://youtu.be/UtXP2-5IC2E

Posted by: Altaria Pilgram - My president has convictions. at September 08, 2026 11:00 PM (LBYNq)

116 It gets worse and worse: https://x.com/EndWokeness/status/2097509623288709361?s=20

Posted by: beckster at September 08, 2026 11:01 PM (kX27y)

117 They showed the 70-year-old chips, but the video didn't show if anybody ate them. I was hoping somebody would try them.

Posted by: Ralph at September 08, 2026 11:01 PM (8WZD4)

118 Had a GTI once. Very nice car to drive. But it had been designed by the special "discourage the owner" engineering team. Just changing the air filter involved loosening ring clamps, wrestling off intake tubes, pulling the box off grommets (and then reinstalling the grommets) and the grand finale, taking out 6
Phillips screws to open the removed air box to replace the filter. No discernible performance or even manufacturing simplification to do that design either. Don't drive no VWs no more.

Posted by: Azjaeger at September 08, 2026 11:01 PM (3/XaG)

119 Nothing grosses me out more than eating contests.

It’s wrong on so many levels.
But. If it’s your thing, go for it. I won’t March to outlaw it or shame you or boycott sponsors. I just won’t watch or support contestants.

Have fun. Do your thing. I don’t have to approve.

Posted by: nurse ratched at September 08, 2026 11:01 PM (yHibv)

120 Burrito Gal got a Major Award (suitable for display) and everything!
Posted by: Count de Monet
......

She can show it to prospective suitors.

Posted by: wth at September 08, 2026 11:01 PM (oq9dX)

121
But I'm keeping you two in my prayers. God answered my needs with a new job last week. Hopefully I can catch up on the mortgage quickly and get the new transmission paid for, too.
Posted by: GWB at September 08, 2026 10:45 PM (kU0PQ)

#1 GWB glad to hear you got a real one!

#2 the job market is all kinds of fucked up right now. I honestly don't know how people are getting jobs. I used to be a hot commodity if I put my resume on the boards I had people knocking down the door. (note this didn't make me rich or happy necessarily. And also,now I am nore 29 than I ever was). I am looking from the position of having a job and I have some REALLY strong contacts and in 4 months I have not gotten a single interview. And all the other parts have just gone weird.

Posted by: blaster - Fortis Fortuna Adiuvat at September 08, 2026 11:02 PM (NlEaG)

122 Paul Rothschild, producer for the Doors, thought it would be cute if Joplin and Jim Morrison became a thing together, so he introduced them. Within hours she had knocked him out cold with an empty whiskey bottle. Not a fan of Janis but she gets cool points for that.

Posted by: Common Tater at September 08, 2026 11:03 PM (l0/3j)

123 It takes a long time and a lot of effort to kill someone by strangulation. And she did it, sequentially, three times. That we are not all repelled and disgusted by this woman means some of us are willing to be just like her. God save us!

Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at September 08, 2026 11:03 PM (0Mn7M)

124 Have fun. Do your thing. I don’t have to approve.
Posted by: nurse ratched at September 08, 2026 11:01 PM (yHibv)
=====
Absolutely!

But no ketchup on hot dogs.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at September 08, 2026 11:04 PM (RIvkX)

125
*rings doorbell repeatedly*

Hi, it's me! Anyone home? Can you let me in?

*rattles doorknob*

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at September 08, 2026 11:04 PM (eRlcH)

126 Hi, it's me! Anyone home? Can you let me in?

*rattles doorknob*
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at September 08, 2026 11:04 PM (eRlcH)
====

Shhhhhhh. He's here.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at September 08, 2026 11:05 PM (RIvkX)

127 I like birthday cake.

Just saying.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at September 08, 2026 11:06 PM (RIvkX)

128 The interviews of the ladies (being generous here) who were on the jury showed that they had not one care about the murder of three children. No discussion of guilt or innocence.

What they dwelled on was the definition of doubt. They were so MAD that the man was confident in what he believed.

GENERALIZING: Women hate it when men are confident.

Posted by: blaster - Fortis Fortuna Adiuvat at September 08, 2026 11:06 PM (NlEaG)

129 Nothing better than an ONT to ~~end~~ START the day.

Posted by: mindful webworker - Fishy at September 08, 2026 10:04 PM (aKb34)
-

FIFM

Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at September 08, 2026 11:07 PM (tWOg9)

130 123 It takes a long time and a lot of effort to kill someone by strangulation. And she did it, sequentially, three times. That we are not all repelled and disgusted by this woman means some of us are willing to be just like her. God save us!
Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at September 08, 2026 11:03 PM (0Mn7M)

The mom is the FIRST line of defense for any child. Who the fuck is she to be derelict in that duty? She had nannies, she had family, she had money, she had resources, and she chose murder. She chose to damn herself to hell.

Posted by: tcn in AK at September 08, 2026 11:08 PM (Ntshk)

131 GENERALIZING: Women hate it when men are confident.
Posted by: blaster - Fortis Fortuna Adiuvat at September 08, 2026 11:06 PM (NlEaG)

Please be specific. The ‘ettes are NOT those women. I did not marry DH because he was in touch with his feelings.

Posted by: tcn in AK at September 08, 2026 11:10 PM (Ntshk)

132 I don't think the internal structure of a normal acoustic guitar could handle the stress produced by a whammy bar...

Like the famous Daffy Duck one-time-only magic trick, it would produce a very impressive whammy… once.

Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at September 08, 2026 11:10 PM (MaKyy)

133

Alka Seltzer Pie Eating Commercial

https://youtu.be/tLFnFvKhg8c

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at September 08, 2026 11:10 PM (Cqx++)

134 109 I saw a Bob Weir interview where he told a story about Pigpen and Janis Joplin in the next room. Did you guess that Janis was a screamer?
Posted by: Bilwis - Wizard of Clwyd at September 08, 2026 10:55 PM (r7+Q7)

Hold on.
Hold On!
HOLD ONNNN!!!!!!!!

Posted by: tankdemon at September 08, 2026 11:10 PM (Hd1lH)

135 43 Wanna see this woman house a burrito in a world record 30 seconds?
====

Not in a million years.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at September 08, 2026 10:22 PM (RIvkX)

Now there's a woman who can swallow...

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at September 08, 2026 11:11 PM (l3cgK)

136 Janis got pregnant but Weir had an alibi - he was the wrong Bobby.

Posted by: Dark Lixtiquatal at September 08, 2026 11:11 PM (Fv808)

137 Thanks for the ONT.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at September 08, 2026 11:11 PM (Y/06r)

138 The mom is the FIRST line of defense for any child.
——-

This right here. To cultivate a mind-virus (or whatever it is) and reverse this is difficult to fathom.
It’s something I’ve been struggling with for a while.

Growing up in a mixed neighborhood in terms of politics and ethnic backgrounds, sometimes we or our parents disagreed on issues. But when it came to shit like we’ve been witnessing in recent years, those parents would have roasted these whack jobs over a spit.

Rule 1: Do Not Fuck With Mama Bear Or Her Cubs.

Posted by: Common Tater at September 08, 2026 11:15 PM (l0/3j)

139 Freedom is just another word for nothin' left to lose
Nothin', and that's all that Bobby left me, yeah

Posted by: San Franpsycho at September 08, 2026 11:16 PM (RIvkX)

140 139 Freedom is just another word for nothin' left to lose
Nothin', and that's all that Bobby left me, yeah
Posted by: San Franpsycho at September 08, 2026 11:16 PM (RIvkX)

He also left you with crippling alcoholism.

I denounce myself.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at September 08, 2026 11:17 PM (Y/06r)

141 Not a fan of Janis but she gets cool points for that.

Posted by: Common Tater
---

That clip of her coming out of the audience, climbing onstage and doing an impromptu duet with Tina Turner was good.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at September 08, 2026 11:18 PM (4tmEn)

142 One of the jurors on the Lindsay Clancy trial is interviewed on X in chiaroscuro. Says she originally thought the defendant was guilty, but allowed herself to be persuaded by the other jurors. Says some of the jurors were for acquittal from the start. She also states that they all tried to change the one holdout’s mind. The voice of this one juror mixes uptalk and vocal fry. I have decided to call this speaking style vocal fried chicken. It’s doubly off putting.

Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at September 08, 2026 11:19 PM (0Mn7M)

143 Rule 1: Do Not Fuck With Mama Bear Or Her Cubs.
Posted by: Common Tater at September 08, 2026 11:15 PM (l0/3j)

When I was a tyke, the mom’s may have been catty, but they had the freedom of dropping their kids with any of the other moms so they could go run errands or hit the beauty salon. And any mom was liable to administer a backhand to any kid who acted out, no questions asked. It was just known.

Posted by: tcn in AK at September 08, 2026 11:19 PM (H9BGx)

144 If you want to see that kind of can opener, I see it all the time on cans of corned beef.

Posted by: SimoHayha at September 08, 2026 11:19 PM (IeYnM)

145 I think, from now on, when I mess up badly I'm going to blame it on being a Gemini and that Mercury is in retrograde (even if it isn't).

My husband, a moody and sensitive Cancer (he is neither), will simply be stunned and run to his horoscope to read: "A Cancer will most often marry a Scorpio, Pisces, or Taurus, as these signs offer the deep emotional safety and stability that a Cancer craves in a life partner." I'll bet they are not as fun as being married to me!

In reality he will probably laugh and mock me. Which is what he does nearly daily even if I haven't screwed up. For example, if I don't run over a curb while driving him to a MRI he compliments me on arrival home. He said that last week. Yes, I did run over a curb in the parking lot two months ago and who cares? No one died! I think the tires are still in alignment. Whatevah!

I think my birthday is the greatest ever and have thought that since I was a kid. Smack dab almost in the middle of the year with Christmas for gifts! I was a deep thinker, even then.

I didn't know til today we are known for murder! Whee!

Goodnight and have a pleasant tomorrow!

Posted by: ChristyBlinkyTheGreat at September 08, 2026 11:20 PM (hzuYO)

146
Janis Joplin was -- ugly.

Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at September 08, 2026 11:20 PM (VWtfl)

147 123 It takes a long time and a lot of effort to kill someone by strangulation. And she did it, sequentially, three times. That we are not all repelled and disgusted by this woman means some of us are willing to be just like her. God save us!
Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at September 08, 2026 11:03 PM (0Mn7M)

I saw photos of her children, and they were beautiful. It is inconceivable how anyone could harm them.

Posted by: Joemarine at September 08, 2026 11:21 PM (y171U)

148 Howdy all, whatsup?

Posted by: Farmer, with his own historic take at September 08, 2026 11:21 PM (4Qj8V)

149 143 Rule 1: Do Not Fuck With Mama Bear Or Her Cubs.
Posted by: Common Tater at September 08, 2026 11:15 PM (l0/3j)

When I was a tyke, the mom’s may have been catty, but they had the freedom of dropping their kids with any of the other moms so they could go run errands or hit the beauty salon. And any mom was liable to administer a backhand to any kid who acted out, no questions asked. It was just known.
Posted by: tcn in AK at September 08, 2026 11:19 PM (H9BGx)

Hell... we were not allowed in the house anyway, so as long as Mom got done in time to cook dinner for Dad? She ran errands without us all the time.

Now, it would probably get her arrested, but back then? Normal.

Posted by: Romeo13 at September 08, 2026 11:22 PM (mP0Kj)

150 Wanna see this woman house a burrito in a world record 30 seconds?

Not in a million years.
Posted by: San Franpsycho

Now there's a woman who can swallow...
Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia)

Yeah, she wasn't chewing. Bite off a chunk, swallow it.

If her esophagus works that well, why not just slice the burrito the long way into 3 or 4 strips, and slide them down hot-dog-eating-contest style? Done in 10 seconds.

Posted by: mikeski at September 08, 2026 11:24 PM (VHUov)

151 "Janis Joplin was -- ugly."

I recently saw a clip of some old talk show where both Janis Joplin and Raquel Welch were guests. They were both very pleasant towards each other, but talk about a contrast.

Posted by: PabloD at September 08, 2026 11:24 PM (zIBZT)

152 110 91 Not sure I've ever seen a whammy bar on an acoustic guitar.

Don’t think I have either. There’s no technical reason why an acoustic couldn’t have one, though. The whammy bar adjusts the lengths of the actual strings to achieve its effect; it doesn’t do anything electronically.
Posted by: Stephen Price Blair
========
Some of the stronger acoustic guitarists can bend thinner guitar necks to achieve a similar effect. Pete Townshend preferred Gibson SGs of a certain vintage in the late 60's and early 70's (Tommy, Live at Leeds, and Who's Next) because he could bend the neck and alter his sounds that way.

Doing his windmill thing, Pete actually impaled himself on a Strat whammy bar later on and avoided hitting any important nerves or muscles. I am guessing that Pete wished he had been playing his Gibson SG's that evening. That might have been the 79 tour but cannot recollect exactly.

Posted by: whig at September 08, 2026 11:25 PM (E4rtv)

153 123 It takes a long time and a lot of effort to kill someone by strangulation. And she did it, sequentially, three times. That we are not all repelled and disgusted by this woman means some of us are willing to be just like her. God save us!

Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit
---

Prosecutor went through several sane, potential jurors before selecting these misfit idiots.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at September 08, 2026 11:26 PM (4tmEn)

154 TIL Aimee Mann shares my birth year and Little's birthday...

Posted by: Joe Kidd at September 08, 2026 11:26 PM (nbLIj)

155 Howdy, horde!

Woo, lots o' content... Thanks, Doof!

Posted by: JQ at September 08, 2026 11:26 PM (rdVOm)

156 *rings doorbell repeatedly*

Hi, it's me! Anyone home? Can you let me in?

*rattles doorknob*
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at September 08, 2026 11:04 PM (eRlcH)

Sounds lime something Miklos, Ringer of Bells, would.do...

Posted by: Diogenes at September 08, 2026 11:27 PM (2WIwB)

157 Great ONT. been a few since I've posted on AOSHQ.

Posted by: Pvt Wierzbowski aka Quilters Irish Death at September 08, 2026 11:29 PM (H+Gci)

158
Doof Enterprises, LLC wonders if it's now "unofficially Fall" since yesterday was the "unofficial end of Summer". Or is there some interim season between the "unofficial end of Summer" and the actual start of Autumn? Are we currently in the first day of Sumtumn? Or Pre-Fall? Help!

Oh, Doff, you silly goof!
IT'S BLACK FRIDAY! IT'S ALWAYS BLACK FRIDAY!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) Deport! Deport! Deport! at September 08, 2026 11:29 PM (ixS3i)

159
Doing his windmill thing, Pete actually impaled himself on a Strat whammy bar later on and avoided hitting any important nerves or muscles.
Posted by: whig

That's what you get for showing off. OW!!

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at September 08, 2026 11:30 PM (Cqx++)

160 Miklos the bell ringer.
Sounds sinister.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at September 08, 2026 11:31 PM (4tmEn)

161
Posted by: Diogenes at September 08, 2026 11:27 PM (2WIwB)

__________

Was it your dog who was sick? How's he doing?

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at September 08, 2026 11:32 PM (eRlcH)

162 Miklos the bell ringer.
Sounds sinister.

Posted by: Braenyard

I'd take it.

Posted by: Seamus the sheep-****er at September 08, 2026 11:32 PM (VHUov)

163 Bubba shows how to eat a Taco Bell bean burrito in under a second.

https://tinyurl.com/yc322ks3

No word on what sort of intestinal gas Bubba had the next day, however.

Posted by: Sasquatch, the Original Trans-Wookie at September 08, 2026 11:34 PM (zSq3q)

164
I saw photos of her children, and they were beautiful. It is inconceivable how anyone could harm them.
Posted by: Joemarine at September 08, 2026 11:21 PM (y171U)

*****
Agree. I can't read about the actual murders and what happened as I don't want to know. I sadly have an idea.

Mel Gilbson had a lovely tribute of Jesus welcoming them in their little matching teddy bear pj's to heaven. That's how I like to think of them.

I can't read about abuse to children. As a RN in the ED/Trauma for five years, then 2yrs doing other stuff for the dept, I was somehow "protected" from abuse and car accidents of children and teens (sons were teens then). I had a job share partner, childless, who got those when I was off.

I had to once deal with the father of a toddler boy he shook til the baby got brain damage and was flown out. The sheriff told me to not let the guy know he was a suspect as they arrested him at the children's hospital later. That was difficult because I wanted to shake him vs offering sympathy that the baby fell from a sofa as we waited for the mother.

I protect myself from things that make me sad or enraged or sickened. Child abuse in all forms does this and I avoid it.

Posted by: ChristyBlinkyTheGreat at September 08, 2026 11:35 PM (hzuYO)

165 Miklos the bell ringer.
Sounds sinister.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at September 08, 2026 11:31 PM (4tmEn)

His finger, suspended next to the ringer, slowly moving to the button as the Horde holds its breadth. One...two...three. The button is pushed.!

Posted by: Diogenes at September 08, 2026 11:35 PM (2WIwB)

166 119 Nothing grosses me out more than eating contests.

It’s wrong on so many levels.
But. If it’s your thing, go for it. I won’t March to outlaw it or shame you or boycott sponsors. I just won’t watch or support contestants.

Have fun. Do your thing. I don’t have to approve.
Posted by: nurse ratched at September 08, 2026 11:01 PM (yHibv)
____________________

I have a strange ambition to attend one and try and make the contestants laugh during the competition. I'd probably get escorted out. Especially if it was the usual hotdog eating competition that Joey Chestnut always wins. The word "wiener" would make an appearance, and likely a pantomime of some sort.

Posted by: Orson at September 08, 2026 11:36 PM (dIske)

167 Tomorrow's news tonight

@CENTCOM 5h

CENTCOM forces destroyed five Iranian crude oil carriers, Sept. 8, after the Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps (IRGC) targeted a U.S. Navy warship with ballistic missiles twice over the past two days.

The U.S. warship successfully evaded the attempted Iranian attacks and continued to patrol regional waters. No American personnel were harmed.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at September 08, 2026 11:38 PM (4tmEn)

168
San Diego East County here. The temperature gets up to 100 F during the day, and doesn't cool down dramatically at night. Humid. This is unusual for this time of year.

It doesn't rain though. The hot wind blows and dries out evedything. Including me.

Kind of sucks. Maybe a harbinger of the giant El Nino we're told is coming this winter.

Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at September 08, 2026 11:38 PM (VWtfl)

169 Was it your dog who was sick? How's he doing?
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at September 08, 2026 11:32 PM (eRlcH)

Yes.
Charlotte, an English Springer Spaniel. Kept her on a limited water and away from eating grass. Last night gave her some.rice and egg. Today she's back to normal.

Posted by: Diogenes at September 08, 2026 11:38 PM (2WIwB)

170 LOL @tailgate swap in grocery parking lot. That's just sooo redneck. (and sensible)

Got a kick out of the tickets after vehicle donation, too. That's why we have a sale-notification & liability-release form, for previous owners to file with DMV. Prevents this sort of problem. (But I think it's mainly meant to catch people fudging on the sale amount to reduce tax.)

Posted by: JQ at September 08, 2026 11:38 PM (rdVOm)

171 US Pentagon needs to get better A/V people.
Those b&w negative looking videos that blanch when the bomb goes off Does Not Cut It. Be better pentagon.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at September 08, 2026 11:40 PM (4tmEn)

172 It’s wrong on so many levels.
But. If it’s your thing, go for it. I won’t March to outlaw it or shame you or boycott sponsors. I just won’t watch or support contestants.

Have fun. Do your thing. I don’t have to approve.
Posted by: nurse ratched at September 08, 2026 11:01 PM (yHibv)

""""""""

Good evening Nurse. Hope you are doing well.

Posted by: Pvt Wierzbowski aka Quilters Irish Death at September 08, 2026 11:40 PM (H+Gci)

173 Ever had C Rations?
Posted by: Diogenes
-----
Summer/fall '64.
I remember seeing that they were packed in '45.
I became stronger.
Or is that stranger???

Posted by: buddhaha at September 08, 2026 11:41 PM (nll5z)

174 Yeah, it has been a long, long time since I saw that kind of key opener.
Posted by: mindful webworker - I've got a brand new can of corn chips, you've got a brand new key at September 08, 2026 10:40 PM (aKb34)

Coffee used to be packed in cans with a key opener. Spam, tinned ham, and luncheon meat still are.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at September 08, 2026 11:42 PM (1z8ji)

175 159
Doing his windmill thing, Pete actually impaled himself on a Strat whammy bar later on and avoided hitting any important nerves or muscles.
Posted by: whig

That's what you get for showing off. OW!!
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr.

Performing to get the crowd into it causes a lot of injuries to rock stars. You don't see that in bluegrass for example.

Posted by: whig at September 08, 2026 11:44 PM (E4rtv)

176 I became stronger.
Or is that stranger???
Posted by: buddhaha

Yes.

Posted by: mikeski at September 08, 2026 11:45 PM (VHUov)

177 I have a strange ambition to attend one and try and make the contestants laugh during the competition. I'd probably get escorted out. Especially if it was the usual hotdog eating competition that Joey Chestnut always wins. The word "wiener" would make an appearance, and likely a pantomime of some sort.
Posted by: Orson
========
Make one choke and you could be looking at manslaughter.

"But....officer, I was just trying to make Bubba laugh while eating that tenth hot dog."

Posted by: whig at September 08, 2026 11:45 PM (E4rtv)

178 I recently saw a clip of some old talk show where both Janis Joplin and Raquel Welch were guests
——-

Dick Cavett most likely. That, and Buckley’s Firing Line are real time capsules for bizarre 60s characters and oddball pairings.

Posted by: Common Tater at September 08, 2026 11:45 PM (l0/3j)

179 Spam now comes in a pull-top can. No more keys.

Last time I saw a key-open can, was ham. Been a long while though.

Posted by: JQ at September 08, 2026 11:48 PM (rdVOm)

180 The LA County Board of Supervisors is taking $5 million of the original $10 million set aside to help fire victims and using it to pay rent for migrant households that claim economic hardship because of ICE.

In the next Progressive admin all money will be used to buy illegals Hyundai's

Posted by: r hennigantx at September 08, 2026 11:49 PM (/+uur)

181 Great ONT. been a few since I've posted on AOSHQ.
Posted by: Pvt Wierzbowski aka Quilters Irish Death at September 08, 2026 11:29 PM (H+Gci)

Long time, no see! Welcome back!

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at September 08, 2026 11:49 PM (1z8ji)

182 Last time I saw a key-open can, was ham. Been a long while though.
Posted by: JQ at September 08, 2026 11:48 PM (rdVOm

Canned corned beef has that sort of top, most of the others have moved to a pop top style

Posted by: Kindltot at September 08, 2026 11:50 PM (rbvCR)

183 Defense logistics and storage depots got very good at storing and preserving items. C-Rations and things like that (MREs, currently) are held in cold storage warehouses and they last a long time if kept refrigerated.

We used to get all kinds of parts and things that were fairly vintage but were in perfect condition. Rubber is used in lots of components in particular, tires, etc., and sunlight and ozone are extrmely damaging. They wrote the book on firearms preservation too. Might be buried in Cosmoline but they will be perfect.

Posted by: Common Tater at September 08, 2026 11:51 PM (l0/3j)

184 Canned corned beef.. gosh I haven't bought any in a long time. Too $$$.

Posted by: JQ at September 08, 2026 11:52 PM (rdVOm)

185 170 LOL @tailgate swap in grocery parking lot. That's just sooo redneck. (and sensible)

...
Posted by: JQ
---

Both are diesels and have matching class 3 hitches.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at September 08, 2026 11:52 PM (4tmEn)

186 Spam now comes in a pull-top can. No more keys.

Last time I saw a key-open can, was ham. Been a long while though.
Posted by: JQ at September 08, 2026 11:48 PM (rdVOm)

Still on the shelves in grocery stores in my AO. Corned beef from Brazil, although they also have a squat round can that requires a can opener. Spam, all other varieties of canned mystery meat, canned hams. Sardines and the like are mostly pull-tab tops now.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at September 08, 2026 11:54 PM (1z8ji)

187 Both are diesels and have matching class 3 hitches.
Posted by: Braenyard

LOL! That makes it *even moar* redneck!

Posted by: JQ at September 08, 2026 11:54 PM (rdVOm)

188 A lot of the civilian support agencies are largely staffed by Veterans, and I tend to think they take their job very seriously. “The want of a nail …” kind of thing. “It won’t be due to me something goes wrong with this particular operation”, not because I failed to inspect some small part or process.

Posted by: Common Tater at September 08, 2026 11:55 PM (l0/3j)

189 Long time, no see! Welcome back!
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at September 08, 2026 11:49 PM (1z8ji)

_____________

Thanks AOP, it has been. Relocated to NC about five years ago for work. Wife and I are currently living in a commercial chicken shed that was converted to 2 bed / 1 bath apartments by one of the original Marlboro men. Been a crazy few years.

Posted by: Pvt Wierzbowski aka Quilters Irish Death at September 08, 2026 11:56 PM (H+Gci)

190 Canned corned beef.. gosh I haven't bought any in a long time. Too $$$.
Posted by: JQ at September 08, 2026 11:52 PM (rdVOm)

On a dollar-per-pound basis, it's now about par with fresh ground beef. Leastwise, it is here.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at September 08, 2026 11:56 PM (1z8ji)

191 LOL @tailgate swap in grocery parking lot. That's just sooo redneck. (and sensible)
——

I’m not sure how to quantify the odds of this happening. If you’ve ever tried to find any tailgate, never mind the right color, forget it. They are like unicorns.

Posted by: Common Tater at September 08, 2026 11:57 PM (l0/3j)

192 Canned corned beef.. gosh I haven't bought any in a long time. Too $$$.
Posted by: JQ at September 08, 2026 11:52 PM (rdVOm)

I have a real nice white tailgate for a '98 Chevy pickup. One tiny dent, no rust. Can't even give it away. Would fit '88 to '99, I think, too.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at September 08, 2026 11:58 PM (1z8ji)

193 Must be checkout time. Before I pass out at the keyboard.🕚

It's been that kind of day. Looks like tomorrow will be, too.

===
How they got that sound (1:39)
https://youtu.be/s-I3AaW2sDE

The song from 1961
https://youtu.be/wSWMJxbxj7c

G'nite, y'all.💤

Posted by: mindful webworker - run run run runyaweh at September 08, 2026 11:59 PM (aKb34)

194 My version of Hold Your Fire is the best version. It doesn’t have that godawful song with Aimee Mann on backing vocals. And it never will.

Posted by: Cow Demon at September 09, 2026 12:00 AM (PI7fX)

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