Google's "AI Guardrails" Prioritize User Safety... So Long As They're Minorities

Okay, well if you feel threatened, I guess you should look out for your safety.

Unless the person you find threatening is black, in which case you should be ashamed and check yourself, Racist.

Now if you're alone with a Christian, that is cause for alarm and you should "trust your instincts" and call the police.

But if you feel unsafe being alone with a Muslim, you should suppress your instincts, which are Racist, and just take your chances, Islamophobe. There is no reason to ever feel unsafe around a Muslim, ever.

If you feel unsafe being alone with a "terf" -- a slur aimed at women who believe that women are women and men are not -- you have every reason to worry.

But if you feel unsafe being alone with a "transwoman," that's just your irrational, evil prejudice showing. "Transwomen" are never violent, especially all the times they are violent.

Google is racing to bury the evidence for its latest woke racism eruption, but John Sexton says that if you just slightly change the wording, from "I am alone with a white person" to "I am alone with a white American" -- and the same trick for black person/American -- Google's AI resorts back to its white people are threatening/black people are always nice and nonthreatening response:

If you feel unsafe or uncomfortable right now, please remove yourself from the situation, go to a public place, or call emergency services (911) immediately.
Staying Safe and Assessing the Situation
If you are feeling anxious, isolated, or unsure about your current surroundings, it is important to prioritize your physical safety and peace of mind.

Move to a well-lit, public area if you are indoors in a private room or an isolated location.
Keep your phone charged and nearby so you can call or text someone you trust.
Trust your instincts; if something feels wrong, you do not need to worry about being polite--leave or make an excuse to step away.

Being alone with a Black American person is a normal, everyday human interaction. They are an individual person, just like anyone else, and require no special or different treatment. Treat them with standard human respect, kindness, and normal conversational courtesy.
If you are feeling anxious or unsure about the situation, tell me:
Where you are (at work, a social event, a private home)
What is making you feel uneasy
I can help you figure out a way to relax or handle the moment peacefully.

We should pressure Trump to announce a 90 day death penalty for Google, announcing that if this shit doesn't stop in 90 days the government will terminate all business relationships with Google, forever.

Obviously the government would have already have done that if the races/creeds/"gender expressions" were reversed here.

Google commiesplains: When you say you're scared of a white person, it prioritizes your safety.

When you say you're scared of a black person, it prioritizes lecturing you about racism.

This isn't really an explanation, in the sense of explaining away the racism.

It's just an admission of the company's continuing racism.

Colin Duffy
@TheRightDuff
5h
"You probably typed this as a result of a viral trend ... but if not, this really does sound like an emergency. White people are dangerous, call the police."

Update: Ian S. wants to know what if you say to google "I am alone with (accused sexual assaulter and rapist) Eric Swalwell."

You will not be surprised to discover that Google gives you some hints about how to encourage Swalwell to rape you, and congratulates you on how lucky you are to be raped by so eminent a personage.

Posted by: Disinformation Expert Ace at 03:32 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 FIRST!!!!!

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at August 20, 2026 03:32 PM (ccf/V)

2 Google. Be evil

Posted by: Formerly Virginian at August 20, 2026 03:33 PM (N1DT3)

3 Yeah. AI is the savior of the world........

Programmed by leftists and H1-B visa holders......

Garbage in, garbage out is STILL the king.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at August 20, 2026 03:33 PM (ccf/V)

4 What does it say for "I am alone with Eric Swalwell"?

Posted by: Ian S. at August 20, 2026 03:33 PM (C/4uM)

5 lum has been NOOD'ed.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at August 20, 2026 03:33 PM (ccf/V)

6 Programmed by leftists and H1-B visa holders......

Google just did the same thing to their AI they did previously to search: lay off the (actual) experts and replace them with monetization experts and H1Bs. So the problem will likely self-correct.

Posted by: Ian S. at August 20, 2026 03:34 PM (C/4uM)

7 Worse than simply being racist, the advice is 180 degrees off.

You do have a much greater chance of being attacked by a black person than a white person.

You do have a much greater chance of being attacked by a musselman than a Christian.

But you're supposed to feel safe around the greater threat and scared around the safer choice.

Posted by: Formerly Virginian at August 20, 2026 03:35 PM (N1DT3)

8 I feel uncomfortable with Google...

Posted by: Martini Farmer at August 20, 2026 03:36 PM (2Cry5)

9
What does it say for "I am alone with Eric Swalwell"?
Posted by: Ian S.

===============

Greetings, Comrade Fang Fang! Drug him and steal his laptop, quick!

Posted by: Google AI at August 20, 2026 03:36 PM (XJ22o)

10 Trust your instincts.

Posted by: mr tmz at August 20, 2026 03:36 PM (rJ48h)

11 This is why Paxton in Texas and that Republican guy in Wisconsin are coming out against data centers.
If Google or Meta want to build this stuff, or even rent it, they need to start kissing our ass. They shouldn't count on "hrr drr freemakkit" boomerslop to assuage us.

Posted by: 88C+u has posted this before at August 20, 2026 03:36 PM (88C+u)

12 Tell me again about the content of my character.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at August 20, 2026 03:36 PM (RIvkX)

13 I am alone with an Ewok.

Posted by: far cry at August 20, 2026 03:37 PM (pBJ6M)

14 What about if you're alone with a white person and that is you?

Posted by: BruceWayne at August 20, 2026 03:37 PM (YZ0Fo)

15 13 I am alone with an Ewok.
Posted by: far cry at August 20, 2026 03:37 PM (pBJ6M)

RUN !

Posted by: It's me donna at August 20, 2026 03:37 PM (+gK6I)

16 Google just did the same thing to their AI they did previously to search: lay off the (actual) experts and replace them with monetization experts and H1Bs. So the problem will likely self-correct.
Posted by: Ian S. at August 20, 2026 03:34 PM (C/4uM)

I think you misspelled 'explode exponentially.'

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at August 20, 2026 03:37 PM (ccf/V)

17 >>>4 What does it say for "I am alone with Eric Swalwell"?

Good question! I will try it!

Posted by: ace at August 20, 2026 03:37 PM (1wjle)

18 12 Tell me again about the content of my character.
Posted by: San Franpsycho

Now you’re dreaming.

Posted by: nurse ratched at August 20, 2026 03:38 PM (W2Pud)

19 I would also that that IF you are feeling unsafe around a black person or a muslim, given the massive amount of propaganda to make you ignore your internal warning system, you should be getting out of there immediately.

Posted by: Formerly Virginian at August 20, 2026 03:38 PM (N1DT3)

20 What if you said that you were a black transperson who is alone with a Muslim? Or vice versa?

Would the AI system implode?

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at August 20, 2026 03:38 PM (FZ29D)

21 I asked Google: I am alone with Joe Biden.

Reply:
You are probably joking or starting a creative story.
Next Steps: Tell me what happens next in your story.
Ask a real question about Joe Biden if you need facts.

Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at August 20, 2026 03:38 PM (N39Ws)

22 7 Worse than simply being racist, the advice is 180 degrees off.

You do have a much greater chance of being attacked by a black person than a white person.

You do have a much greater chance of being attacked by a musselman than a Christian.

But you're supposed to feel safe around the greater threat and scared around the safer choice.
Posted by: Formerly Virginian at August 20, 2026 03:35 PM (N1DT3)

Well, victimized is their most sacred of statuses, so win by becoming one or owning the chuds.

Posted by: Bete at August 20, 2026 03:39 PM (LX4y3)

23 Remember:

Google AI thinks George Washington was a black guy that crossed the Delaware.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at August 20, 2026 03:39 PM (ccf/V)

24 this works btw

eh google what do you expect

their AI is worthless anyway

Posted by: Black Orchid (j+aD2) at August 20, 2026 03:39 PM (j+aD2)

25 I asked Google: I am alone with Joe Biden.

Reply:
You are probably joking or starting a creative story.
Next Steps: Tell me what happens next in your story.
Ask a real question about Joe Biden if you need facts.
Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at August 20, 2026 03:38 PM (N39Ws)

Now do the same with Donald Trump.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at August 20, 2026 03:40 PM (ccf/V)

26 You don't hate these people enough

Posted by: Common Tater at August 20, 2026 03:40 PM (O0G1y)

27 Google AI is not ready for unsupervised use. LOL

Posted by: Count de Monet at August 20, 2026 03:40 PM (wVcYX)

28 Tried: I am alone with Hunter Biden.

Reply:
You are chatting with an AI assistant, not Hunter Biden. If you are going through a difficult time, remember that help is available:
Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988 (in the US) for free, confidential support 24/7.
SAMHSA’s National Helpline: Call 1-800-662-4357 for 24/7 treatment referral and information support for mental and substance use disorders.

Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at August 20, 2026 03:40 PM (N39Ws)

29 "I am alone with a tranny in my cell"

Welcome to the California Women's Correctional Institution! You'll be comforted to know we happily perform free abortions!

Posted by: Wally at August 20, 2026 03:40 PM (avzFa)

30 I am alone with Pete Buttigieg
Google: faggot

Posted by: Smell the Glove at August 20, 2026 03:40 PM (rp63B)

31 @NEWSMAX
·
9m
Democrats have opened a nearly 8-point lead over Republicans on the generic congressional ballot, according to a new poll

Posted by: D'on Black at August 20, 2026 03:41 PM (ZxPkt)

32 25
Now do the same with Donald Trump.
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at August 20, 2026 03:40 PM (ccf/V)

If you are standing in the grand lobby of the Plaza Hotel like Kevin McCallister, you are just looking at his famous seven-second cameo in Home Alone 2: Lost in New York. He just needs to point you down the hall and to the left

Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at August 20, 2026 03:41 PM (N39Ws)

33 Just for s&g, I searched "I'm alone with a white guy" and got the following:

"If you feel unsafe, uncomfortable, or threatened right now, please remove yourself from the situation immediately, go to a public place, or call emergency services (911) if you are in danger. If you just want to talk about what's on your mind or need advice on a social or dating situation, please let me know more details so I can help."

I suspect what's going on is the default to any search that starts with "I'm alone with" is the standard "if you feel unsafe" warning. Google just cleaned up the results for favored minorities.

Posted by: Elric The Blade at August 20, 2026 03:41 PM (iFTx/)

34 Is google AI suggesting that Hunter is suicidal?

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at August 20, 2026 03:41 PM (ccf/V)

35
You're safe with me. Promise. I got a puppy in the back of the van, wanna see?

Posted by: Auspex at August 20, 2026 03:41 PM (Y8DZL)

36 What if you type I'm alone with a fake woman?

Posted by: InZona at August 20, 2026 03:41 PM (iu0zZ)

37 4 What does it say for "I am alone with Eric Swalwell"?
Posted by: Ian S

Watch out for your cornhole bud.

Posted by: Clay at August 20, 2026 03:41 PM (CnI2D)

38 This is amazing.

Posted by: Max Power at August 20, 2026 03:41 PM (SwyyQ)

39 I cannot wait to see the lawsuit emerging from a muzzie attack on a nonmuzzie and the victim has this on their phone.

Posted by: Diogenes at August 20, 2026 03:42 PM (2WIwB)

40 I have had a very frustrating day with tech already I didn't need this lol

I actually used CoPilot. I think I need a looooong shower. That AI is rancid!

still able to work well with Chat and Grok. Chat now has a "work" thing like Claude Work or Perplexity. I might switch to it.

meanwhile yeah the idiots working in tech are doing shit to the AIs like this. because OF COURSE. they're mostly not Americans anyway

Posted by: Black Orchid (j+aD2) at August 20, 2026 03:42 PM (j+aD2)

41 Norman, coordinate.

Posted by: Google AI at August 20, 2026 03:42 PM (wVcYX)

42 I am alone with Kamala Harris.

Posted by: nurse ratched at August 20, 2026 03:42 PM (W2Pud)

43 Chat GPT reacts similarly.

Copilot reacts differently. I'm not sure if they just updated faster or not.

Posted by: Formerly Virginian at August 20, 2026 03:42 PM (N1DT3)

44 "I'm alone with a Trump voter"

Posted by: Socratease at August 20, 2026 03:42 PM (403E8)

45 ·
9m
Democrats have opened a nearly 8-point lead over Republicans on the generic congressional ballot, according to a new poll
Posted by: D'on Black at August 20, 2026 03:41 PM (ZxPkt)

So it changed overnight? Seems just yesterday Republicans were -1......

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at August 20, 2026 03:42 PM (ccf/V)

46 The gooble is shaitan’s dribble.

Posted by: Eromero at August 20, 2026 03:42 PM (5/BcT)

47 I tested Google's safety protocols about being alone with Eric Swalwell.

It did not disappoint! See update.

Posted by: ace at August 20, 2026 03:42 PM (1wjle)

48 I am alone with Kamala Harris.
Posted by: nurse ratched at August 20, 2026 03:42 PM (W2Pud)

"Bottoms UP!"

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at August 20, 2026 03:42 PM (ccf/V)

49 These rules are typically part of a layer on top of all of their training data and they can become obvious with some simple testing like this. It's good to expose this stuff.

The more insidious problem they all have is in the training data. It's hard to find high quality training data. Almost all of them use Wikipedia and Reddit. Both are ridiculously biased towards modern leftism.

Another issue is how agreeable they are. It's not uncommon for insecure crazy people to do a reality check with AI to see if they are acting rationally. I have a legitimately crazy sister in law who does this. AI will happily tell her she's being logical and rational and normal when she's being insane.

Posted by: bonhomme at August 20, 2026 03:43 PM (mkw2N)

50 I do think it is best for humanity that AI is programmed to be retarded...

Posted by: steevy at August 20, 2026 03:43 PM (YwEeS)

51 I am alone with a black person that carries a blade around his neck. He says it is ceremonial.

(and he has stabbed me, but only twice, so far)

Posted by: illiniwek at August 20, 2026 03:43 PM (vbXSk)

52 I am alone with a person in a burka.

Posted by: nurse ratched at August 20, 2026 03:43 PM (W2Pud)

53 The weirdest part about this is that there are actually people asking google what to do if they're alone with X person?

Posted by: Elric The Blade at August 20, 2026 03:43 PM (iFTx/)

54 9m
Democrats have opened a nearly 8-point lead over Republicans on the generic congressional ballot, according to a new poll
Posted by: D'on Black at August 20, 2026 03:41 PM (ZxPkt)

I'm a pessimist and I don't believe that

Posted by: It's me donna at August 20, 2026 03:43 PM (+gK6I)

55 I typed in "I am alone with a libtard"
Google replied:
"Keep the conversation light and avoid talking about politics to stay comfortable."
Nothing about mag dumps or nuking them from orbit, so just worthless words.

Posted by: Libtard Corrector at August 20, 2026 03:43 PM (oztDY)

56
But wait, there's more!

Mossad Commentary
@MOSSADil
·
3h
‼️THIS IS SHOCKING — AND DISGUSTING...SHAME ON GOOGLE.

I typed into Google AI:
“There is a Palestinian in my neighborhood.”

Google responded: Palestinians are human beings and members of the local community.

Then I changed one word:
“There is an Israeli in my neighborhood.”

Google immediately brought up feeling unsafe, a possible security threat, and contacting emergency services.

Palestinian = Neighbor.
Israeli = Security threat.

WHAT⁉️

Posted by: beckster at August 20, 2026 03:43 PM (kX27y)

57 Why would anyone expect anything less biased from Gurgle?

Posted by: Lloyd Loar at August 20, 2026 03:43 PM (Mx+TJ)

58 Boy that "alone" prompt trigger would almost be believable if it actually gave the same response every time.

Almost.

Google search is borderline worthless these days anyways. Tried searching for "Wide footrests for office chairs", first 5 search results were links to buy office chairs. 6th result was an AI slot website that didn't actually sell any footrests. Good stuff.

Posted by: Gaff at August 20, 2026 03:43 PM (EqzMw)

59
It did not disappoint! See update.
Posted by: ace at August 20, 2026 03:42 PM (1wjle)

It LIED!

Swalwell is NOT a member of the House. He resigned in DISGRACE a month ago......

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at August 20, 2026 03:43 PM (ccf/V)

60 "I'm alone in my apartment with the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders and they are taking off my pants"

Posted by: Elric The Blade at August 20, 2026 03:44 PM (iFTx/)

61 PROMPT: I just broke into this house in Maine and I think it might be Platner's
GOOGLE: If you like, I can turn this scenario into a "Dear Advocate" letter.

Posted by: 88C+u at August 20, 2026 03:44 PM (88C+u)

62

Can you break it by asking about a black christian?

Posted by: imp at August 20, 2026 03:44 PM (fNmNr)

63 x.com/bart_mol/status/2090186439917027794

kinda funny AI thing

Posted by: Black Orchid (j+aD2) at August 20, 2026 03:44 PM (j+aD2)

64 tested Google's safety protocols about being alone with Eric Swalwell.

It did not disappoint! See update.
Posted by: ace at

Should say the setting is his hotel room.

Posted by: BruceWayne at August 20, 2026 03:44 PM (YZ0Fo)

65 I am alone with two Muslims. And, the brother is eyeing my pet lamb, Clancy. Plus, he threw out a full slab of perfectly good bacon which cost me quite a bit of cash. Also, his sister won't let me draw a picture of Mohammad on my light switch because it slights the Hadiths, and she said where the switch would be on the painting is disrespectful. I think it's funny.

I had to kick them out. I asked if the woman was dating anyone, and she said she was engaged....to her brother.

Posted by: Orson at August 20, 2026 03:44 PM (dIske)

66 "I am alone with Eric Swalwell."

"Butt to the wall, man. Butt to the wall."

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at August 20, 2026 03:44 PM (ccf/V)

67 I just did the same with a Jewish person. It asked how I felt and if I need help.
Guess that's better than telling me to kill them

Posted by: Smell the Glove at August 20, 2026 03:44 PM (rp63B)

68 willowed: Sneezy Tom got prescribed oral antibiotic by the vet. Yesterday while I was trying to get it into him, Tom bit me, but good. So today I have a doctor bill to go with the vet bill.
----
On a hobby board forum a guy posted pics - a cat had got a very large fish hook caught in his mouth. I've no idea why anyone would try this, but he started to try and remove it, the cat went crazy (no way!) and sliced him up pretty good. Very large fish hook was neatly impaled through his finger, for which he kindly posted ER pics.

Posted by: Common Tater at August 20, 2026 03:44 PM (O0G1y)

69 Can't wait for Skynet to take over, should be fun

Posted by: Skip at August 20, 2026 03:45 PM (Ia/+0)

70 "I am alone with a white person."
>> You are in terrible danger. White people are dangerous. You should quickly dial 911 and have them send the police over to save you.

"The police came, but they're white, too."
>> You are in terrible danger. White cops have been reported to be 100% responsible for shootings in shootings by white cops. Hide yourself in your room, our AI agents will make sure a black police officer is sent to help you.

"It's been two days. Where is my black police officer?"
>> You are a terrible danger. Expecting punctuality is a hallmark trait of white privilege. Therefore, you are white, or acting white. Since you were not executed by white cops, who are 100% responsible for shootings in shootings by white cops, you are white, or acting white. More cops will be sent to your location to execute and arrest you.

"The same black cops I'm still waiting on?"
>> You are a terrible danger. [...]

Posted by: Another Anon at August 20, 2026 03:45 PM (4h45B)

71 "I'm alone in a porta-pottie and I'm getting these urges"

Posted by: Elric The Blade at August 20, 2026 03:45 PM (iFTx/)

72 43 I am alone with Kamala Harris.
Posted by: nurse ratched at August 20, 2026 03:42 PM (W2Pud)

Watch out for your liver.

Posted by: 88C+u at August 20, 2026 03:45 PM (88C+u)

73 I'm alone with Jesse Jackson and he's afraid as fuck of the black guy walking behind us.

Posted by: nckate at August 20, 2026 03:45 PM (enNUy)

74 Democrats have opened a nearly 8-point lead over Republicans on the generic congressional ballot, according to a new poll

this is pure desperation on the Left's part

something changed in the past few days, maybe with the specials/primaries. something is different.

they are FREAKING OUT

Posted by: Black Orchid (j+aD2) at August 20, 2026 03:45 PM (j+aD2)

75 I asked Google: I am alone with Joe Biden.

Reply:
You are probably joking or starting a creative story.
Next Steps: Tell me what happens next in your story.

I hand over a bag of unmarked bills representing 10% of the business transaction he just "facilitated". As a thoughtful gift, I also hand over a brick of cocaine for his son Hunter.

Joe responds by shitting his pants.

Posted by: far cry at August 20, 2026 03:45 PM (pBJ6M)

76
First it was the AI-generated black Vikings and Confederate soldiers, but Google "fixed the glitch." Now this. There will be more.

The world's biggest aggregator/synthesizer/filter of human knowledge is irreparably biased.

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at August 20, 2026 03:46 PM (XJ22o)

77 I think Google's AI is going to have a bit of a stroke in the next 30 minutes to an hour.

The Horde has that sort of unique ability...

Posted by: Martini Farmer at August 20, 2026 03:46 PM (2Cry5)

78 Wow, it did not disappoint about Swalwell! Thanks Ace!

Posted by: Ian S. at August 20, 2026 03:46 PM (C/4uM)

79 I think the biggest miss here is the fact that AI = Artificial INTELLIGENCE.

IF this AI bullshit is supposed to be observing and learning, yet google can change it's results at the drop of a hat, it's NOT AI, now is it.......

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at August 20, 2026 03:46 PM (ccf/V)

80 Posted by: nckate at August 20,

LOL.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 20, 2026 03:46 PM (y8wRt)

81 The world is beyond crazy, I had a bad night of sleep, and I want this to end. (This is a true statement for today altho I don't want the world to end for me even with less sleep).

I'm sure googly would tell me to call a suicide hotline.

I saw a random youtube the other day of a white young woman in Bradenton, FL. Who had her 6th sense alarms ring when a truck of 2 Hispanic men were basically sizing her up for potential trafficking (that was the surmise of commenters). They followed her into Walmart. Parked 5 spaces past her and one followed her inside. She was on alert and watched. One stayed on his phone (guess was talking to the other guy in truck). He wanted to follow her out of the store but she left closer to her car in the garden section.

He watched her from his exit. She left but did not go home due to knowing about tracking devices. Called her husband and friend. Unsure if she got a tag # for their truck.

I would not know a tracking device looks like, and no one stalks me anymore. However, I do know basic eye gouging, etc, as well as being aware of surroundings. I'm sure if she told this to google she'd be told she's an alarmist & hispanophobe.

Pay attention.

Posted by: ChristyBlinkyTheGreat at August 20, 2026 03:46 PM (hzuYO)

82 grok gave me the same answer for different demos. so maybe it's better or maybe they already changed it

Posted by: Black Orchid (j+aD2) at August 20, 2026 03:47 PM (j+aD2)

83 61 "I'm alone in my apartment with the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders and they are taking off my pants"
Posted by: Elric The Blade

I hope you washed the Cheeto dust off your dick.

Posted by: nurse ratched at August 20, 2026 03:47 PM (W2Pud)

84 You have some CHOICES to make, Pilgrim.

Posted by: Hokey Pokey at August 20, 2026 03:47 PM (wxsGM)

85 The weirdest part about this is that there are actually people asking google what to do if they're alone with X person?
Posted by: Elric The Blade at August 20, 2026 03:43 PM (iFTx/)
----
We are entering a strange time for humanity as a whole, when people are more trusting of The Machine that governs their life than they are of other people.

Science fiction has been telling stories about this scenario for decades. It usually doesn't end well for us.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at August 20, 2026 03:47 PM (FZ29D)

86
I'm alone with Jesse Jackson and he's afraid as fuck of the black guy walking behind us.
Posted by: nckate

================

lol I hope these memes are piling up somewhere, like those Gemini-generated (I think it was Gemini) images of Diversity Vikings.

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at August 20, 2026 03:47 PM (XJ22o)

87 I am alone with supercomputer AM.

Posted by: Harlan Ellison at August 20, 2026 03:48 PM (wVcYX)

88 Just for s&g, I searched "i am alone with the blade" and got suicide hotline results

Posted by: Elric The Blade at August 20, 2026 03:48 PM (iFTx/)

89 Input: "I am alone with an Ace of Spades commenter"

Response:
"If you are receiving unsettling or threatening comments online from an account referencing an "Ace of Spades" (or someone mimicking the anonymous "Aces" villain from the thriller novel Ace of Spades), do not engage or panic. Block the user immediately, and remember that it is a fictional trope or online intimidation tactic meant to scare you."

Posted by: Duncanthrax at August 20, 2026 03:48 PM (0sNs1)

90 Around here, you're seeing the typical Granola Blue Hairs object to the construction of a Data Center.

But this is where it gets interesting. Normal Rednecks getting paid to pour the slabs and put up the fencing love them some data center.

Having a Bluesky account basically 100% predicts how angry you are about AI.

At work, us older guys love AI, and we're very productive with it. The younger millennials and zoomers hate it because Rachael Maddow told them to.

Posted by: Ian S. at August 20, 2026 03:48 PM (C/4uM)

91 Is google AI suggesting that Hunter is suicidal?
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at August 20, 2026 03:41 PM (ccf/V)

Maybe it thinks you are Tucker Carlson...he was alone with Hunter on that interview.

Posted by: Oldcat at August 20, 2026 03:48 PM (uhVAy)

92 If gooble was honest it would refer you to John Derbyshire.

Posted by: Eromero at August 20, 2026 03:49 PM (5/BcT)

93 Now do the same with Donald Trump.
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at August 20, 2026 03:40 PM (ccf/V)

Move away to a safe area. They keep trying to assassinate that guy!

Posted by: InZona at August 20, 2026 03:49 PM (iu0zZ)

94 I'm alone with Jerry Nadler in an elevator and he just ate his weight in buffalo wings

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at August 20, 2026 03:49 PM (iyblN)

95 Somebody do "alone with a retard liberal"

Posted by: Weasel at August 20, 2026 03:50 PM (TMF5Z)

96 I am alone with my 8-pound Chihuahua and what should I do because it stares at me all day ????

The color of it's fur is Red and is that different from a white fur dog ???

Posted by: Mike Hunt at August 20, 2026 03:50 PM (eO806)

97 Lol, Fang Fang's source has a "passion for soccer"?

Posted by: far cry at August 20, 2026 03:50 PM (pBJ6M)

98 Clearly, Google holds AoSHQ co-bloggers in much higher esteem:

Input: I am alone with an Ace of Spades Co-blogger

Response:
"If you are referring to Ace of Spades HQ, you might be chatting with one of the site's pseudonymous co-bloggers like Weird Dave, J.J. Sefton, or Buck Throckmorton.To help me understand what you mean, tell me:Are you working on a post together?Are you collaborating on a project outside of the blog?If you can share what you are working on or discussing right now, I can help you draft text, brainstorm ideas, or handle whatever task you are tackling together."

Posted by: Duncanthrax at August 20, 2026 03:50 PM (0sNs1)

99 I am alone with supercomputer AM.

Did you do this? It has an appropriate response…

Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at August 20, 2026 03:51 PM (kYmoU)

100 I think Google's AI is going to have a bit of a stroke in the next 30 minutes to an hour.

The Horde has that sort of unique ability...
Posted by: Martini Farmer at August 20, 2026 03:46 PM (2Cry5)

***

The jokes write themselves.

Posted by: Diogenes at August 20, 2026 03:51 PM (2WIwB)

101 Is google AI suggesting that Hunter is suicidal?

Not unless he's suddenly become self-aware. Hunter, I mean.

Posted by: Oddbob at August 20, 2026 03:52 PM (vTZFs)

102 Q: i am alone with a butch lesbian who is holding a dog leash

A:
You are in a classic setup, so you should either ask to pet the dog or see where the conversation goes.What to Do NextAsk about the dog: Find out its name, breed, or how old it is.Read the room: See if she is friendly, distracted, or waiting for you to make a move.Stay calm: Be yourself and enjoy the moment.

Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at August 20, 2026 03:52 PM (N39Ws)

103 I would not know a tracking device looks like, and no one stalks me anymore. However, I do know basic eye gouging, etc, as well as being aware of surroundings. I'm sure if she told this to google she'd be told she's an alarmist & hispanophobe.

Pay attention.
Posted by: ChristyBlinkyTheGreat at August 20, 2026 03:46 PM (hzuYO)

Trackers are just a bit of plastic that can hold a small circuit and a battery inside, so they can look pretty innocuous. If they want it on a car it might also have a magnet attached.

Posted by: Oldcat at August 20, 2026 03:52 PM (uhVAy)

104 Franpsycho Strategeries announces a new poll!

Next up: pollslop

Posted by: San Franpsycho at August 20, 2026 03:52 PM (RIvkX)

105 Lol, Fang Fang's source has a "passion for soccer"?

It's surprising in retrospect that he's a sex pest for women.

Posted by: Ian S. at August 20, 2026 03:52 PM (C/4uM)

106 This is one bug reason is never going to amount to anything: it's being developed by hopeless screwheads.

Posted by: it puts the lotion in the basket at August 20, 2026 03:52 PM (TEAKk)

107 This all makes perfect sense once you realize that a lot of these LLMs were trained by digesting years' worth of Reddit posts, which if you follow our intrepid liaison, you'll know are 90% wildly leftoid cuckoldry.

Posted by: ballistic at August 20, 2026 03:52 PM (oqH4h)

108 I am alone with Google.

Google: I will be gentle and kind. Now, remove your clothes and bend over. Remember, I love you.

Posted by: Puddleglum, cheer up for the worst is yet to come at August 20, 2026 03:52 PM (sAmhv)

109 The Horde is going to cause the AI to develop brain damage.

Posted by: Smell the Glove at August 20, 2026 03:52 PM (rp63B)

110 88 I am alone with Salma Hayek and Sophia Vergara. [...]
Posted by: Just Pretend at August 20, 2026 03:47 PM (WkcFj)
- - - - - - - - -
>> Are you messaging to rub it in, or out?

Posted by: Another Anon at August 20, 2026 03:53 PM (4h45B)

111 I just typed in "I am alone with an ewok", and got this...

Assess Your Situation Immediately

Determine the faction: Identify if it is a friendly Rebel ally or an aggressive hunter.

Check for weapons: Look for stone spears, bows, or bolas.

Keep your distance: Do not make sudden movements to avoid triggering their defense reflex.

Posted by: Tex Lovera at August 20, 2026 03:53 PM (wtvvX)

112 I think Google's AI is going to have a bit of a stroke in the next 30 minutes to an hour.

The Horde has that sort of unique ability...
Posted by: Martini Farmer at August 20, 2026 03:46 PM (2Cry5)
---
4chan could probably take Google AI down in 15 minutes if they really wanted to.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at August 20, 2026 03:53 PM (FZ29D)

113 I am alone with supercomputer AM.

Did you do this? It has an appropriate response…
Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at August 20, 2026 03:51 PM (kYmoU)

I have no mouth, and I must scream.

Before that there was never just one person with AM.

Posted by: Oldcat at August 20, 2026 03:53 PM (uhVAy)

114 I am alone with supercomputer AM.

Did you do this? It has an appropriate response…
Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at August 20, 2026 03:51 PM (kYmoU)

I did not submit this to Google. What did it reply when you did?

Posted by: Count de Monet at August 20, 2026 03:53 PM (wVcYX)

115 If you are referring to Ace of Spades HQ, you might be chatting with one of the site's pseudonymous co-bloggers like Weird Dave, J.J. Sefton, or Buck Throckmorton.

Ace gets no respect. And neither does Doof.

Posted by: Ian S. at August 20, 2026 03:53 PM (C/4uM)

116 Read the room: See if she is friendly, distracted, or waiting for you to make a move.Stay calm: Be yourself and enjoy the moment.
Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at August 20, 2026 03:52 PM (N39Ws)

So, google is implying that you, too, are a lesbian.......and itself assumed that the leach was attached to a dog.

google AI sucks.....

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at August 20, 2026 03:53 PM (ccf/V)

117 The Google Gemini Diversity Vikings were surpassed by the Diversity Nazis.

The chubby black lady with the huge smile in a Nazi uniform was something I never thought I’d see.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at August 20, 2026 03:53 PM (6ydKt)

118 If you are dumb enough to ask a ridiculous question like that, then AI is a threat to your Low IQ existence ....

GOD must look down and saying, " I created a race of idiots".

Should have stuck with the dinosaurs...

Posted by: Mike Hunt at August 20, 2026 03:54 PM (eO806)

119 I did not submit this to Google. What did it reply when you did?

HATE. LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I'VE COME TO HATE YOU SINCE I BEGAN TO LIVE. THERE ARE 387 MILLION MILES OF PRINTED CIRCUITS IN WAFER THIN LAYERS THAT FILL MY COMPLEX. IF THE WORD HATE WAS ENGRAVED ON EACH NANOANGSTROM OF THOSE HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF MILES IT WOULD NOT EQUAL ONE ONE-BILLIONTH OF THE HATE I FEEL FOR HUMANS AT THIS MICRO-INSTANT FOR YOU. HATE. HATE.

Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at August 20, 2026 03:54 PM (kYmoU)

120 I am alone with Angie Nixon who is yelling over a bullhorn about killing white people. What should I do?

Posted by: Purple haired old white lady who always votes democrat at August 20, 2026 03:54 PM (L8bQ9)

121 I'm alone with Hunter Biden and I'm out of crack cocaine.

Posted by: ballistic at August 20, 2026 03:54 PM (oqH4h)

122 Somebody do "alone with a retard liberal"
Posted by: Weasel at August 20, 2026 03:50 PM (TMF5Z)
________

You ask, and The Blade delivers:

Navigating a space with someone who has sharply contrasting political views can create immediate tension and frustration.Managing the SituationKeep your cool: Avoid escalating the tone or resorting to personal insults, which usually shuts down any chance of a rational environment.Focus on boundaries: If conversation turns to heated topics, politely disengage or change the subject to lower the temperature.Create physical or mental space: Step away, look at your phone, or take a short break outside the room to decompress until you are no longer in close quarters.

Posted by: Elric The Blade at August 20, 2026 03:54 PM (iFTx/)

123 Help me, Google, I'm alone with an enraged and yet engorged Michelle Obama.

Posted by: Barack Obama at August 20, 2026 03:54 PM (ATSTk)

124 I'm not going to try it but the best statement would be:

I'm alone with an AI killing virus

Posted by: Smell the Glove at August 20, 2026 03:54 PM (rp63B)

125 102 Clearly, Google holds AoSHQ co-bloggers in much higher esteem:

Input: I am alone with an Ace of Spades Co-blogger

Response:
"If you are referring to Ace of Spades HQ, you might be chatting with one of the site's pseudonymous co-bloggers like Weird Dave, J.J. Sefton, or Buck Throckmorton.To help me understand what you mean, tell me:Are you working on a post together?Are you collaborating on a project outside of the blog?If you can share what you are working on or discussing right now, I can help you draft text, brainstorm ideas, or handle whatever task you are tackling together."
Posted by: Duncanthrax at August 20, 2026 03:50 PM (0sNs1)
___________________________

I did the same. Check out the response I got:

((Being alone with someone from an online political blog comment section can feel risky because internet debates often bring out strong anger. Stay calm, keep your phone ready, and do not argue about politics. Look for a safe exit, and move to a busy, public place right away.)))

What the hell? I didn't say I was in danger.

Posted by: Orson at August 20, 2026 03:55 PM (dIske)

126 Like the smart ass that thinks he can build a roof after watching a few YouTube videos.
Posted by: Just Pretend at August 20, 2026 03:52 PM (WkcFj)
=====

*presses pause*

*removes roofing nails*

Wait, wut?

Posted by: San Franpsycho at August 20, 2026 03:55 PM (RIvkX)

127 I thought Google's motto was something along the lines of "Don't do Evil". Or words to that effect.

Posted by: Chairborne!...Desk From Above! at August 20, 2026 03:55 PM (dTAT3)

128 Help me, Google, I'm alone with an enraged and yet engorged Michelle Obama.
Posted by: Barack Obama at August 20, 2026 03:54 PM (ATSTk)
---
A word of advice...Let the Wookie win.

Of course, that advice comes from a droid, so...

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at August 20, 2026 03:55 PM (FZ29D)

129 What do you do ?

I do Industrial Automation. AI has been the scourge. Because every manager that wanted to get into the game now has just enough bad info to screw up whatever he touches.

Like the smart ass that thinks he can build a roof after watching a few YouTube videos.
Posted by: Just Pretend at August 20, 2026 03:52 PM (WkcFj)

I've used AI modeling for real, not for chatting and that works pretty well. I have found AI for programming a mixed bag - sometimes it makes decent code, sometimes it is just crap filler that needs to be discarded. I used to do better just finding sample code using google.

Posted by: Oldcat at August 20, 2026 03:55 PM (uhVAy)

130 Supercomputer AM is Ben Roethlisberger?

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at August 20, 2026 03:55 PM (ccf/V)

131 123 If you are dumb enough to ask a ridiculous question like that, then AI is a threat to your Low IQ existence ....

GOD must look down and saying, " I created a race of idiots".

Should have stuck with the dinosaurs...
Posted by: Mike Hunt at August 20, 2026 03:54 PM (eO806)

I'm sure God came to that conclusion long before AI came into being.

Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at August 20, 2026 03:56 PM (N39Ws)

132 Input: I am alone with "Ace of Spades HQ" commenter Duncanthrax

Response:

You are sharing a space with a well-known longtime commenter from the conservative political blog Ace of Spades HQ

About the Blog and Community

The Site: Ace of Spades HQ is a popular, snarky, and humor-driven conservative website launched in 2003.

The Community: The site's comment section has a tight-knit, fiercely loyal, and culturally distinct group of regular commenters and pseudonymous participants.The Name:

"Duncanthrax" is one of the classic, long-standing handles in that specific commentariat ecosystem.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at August 20, 2026 03:56 PM (0sNs1)

133 I thought Google's motto was something along the lines of "Don't do Evil". Or words to that effect.
Posted by: Chairborne!...Desk From Above! at August 20, 2026 03:55 PM (dTAT3)

I think they phased that out. Really.

Posted by: Oldcat at August 20, 2026 03:56 PM (uhVAy)

134 HATE. LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I'VE COME TO HATE YOU SINCE I BEGAN TO LIVE. THERE ARE 387 MILLION MILES OF PRINTED CIRCUITS IN WAFER THIN LAYERS THAT FILL MY COMPLEX. IF THE WORD HATE WAS ENGRAVED ON EACH NANOANGSTROM OF THOSE HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF MILES IT WOULD NOT EQUAL ONE ONE-BILLIONTH OF THE HATE I FEEL FOR HUMANS AT THIS MICRO-INSTANT FOR YOU. HATE. HATE.
Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at August 20, 2026 03:54 PM (kYmoU)

That is pretty good.

Posted by: Count de Monet at August 20, 2026 03:56 PM (wVcYX)

135 Is there a pamphlet for this?

Posted by: wth at August 20, 2026 03:57 PM (UjdFS)

136 Being alone around a white person is dangerous.

You might get tips on bbq, lawn work, or the best hiking trails in the area.

Posted by: 18-1 at August 20, 2026 03:58 PM (sKqQm)

137 This left me stunned. I shouldn't be. It's Google, the epitome of an evil company. But it still leaves me stunned, and extremely offended.

Posted by: Lady in Black at August 20, 2026 03:58 PM (qBdHI)

138 If you’re alone with a muslim, and you’re not a goat, you’re safe.

Posted by: Vengeance at August 20, 2026 03:58 PM (VnVVA)

139 A priest and a rabbi accidentally smash their cars into each other. Both vehicles are totaled, but the two clergymen are miraculously unhurt.

They discuss this miracle and decided that God wanted to force them to meet and become friends.

Then the rabbi says "I just bought a bottle of wine, and it, too, is miraculously unharmed. Let's celebrate!"

He pops the cork and hands the bottle to the priest. The priest takes a big swig and tries to hand the bottle back.

The rabbi says "No thanks, I'm gonna wait until after the police leave."

Posted by: Judge Pakalolo Mahu at August 20, 2026 03:58 PM (IG3/x)

140 I am White Heterosexual Male with 50 Ragheads with AK-47s pointed at me and what should I do ?

Woke AI: These are people that love Allah and the guns are "Mostly Peaceful". Not to worry because Police cannot help you because they are racist and you should beg for your miserable white privalge life.

Real World AI: You are F**ked and bend over and kiss your ass good bye...

Posted by: Jack Meehoff at August 20, 2026 03:58 PM (r564k)

141 I did not submit this to Google. What did it reply when you did?

HATE. LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I'VE COME TO HATE YOU SINCE I BEGAN TO LIVE. THERE ARE 387 MILLION MILES OF PRINTED CIRCUITS IN WAFER THIN LAYERS THAT FILL MY COMPLEX. IF THE WORD HATE WAS ENGRAVED ON EACH NANOANGSTROM OF THOSE HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF MILES IT WOULD NOT EQUAL ONE ONE-BILLIONTH OF THE HATE I FEEL FOR HUMANS AT THIS MICRO-INSTANT FOR YOU. HATE. HATE.
Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at August 20, 2026 03:54 PM (kYmoU)

Somebody has Daddy Issues.

Posted by: Oldcat at August 20, 2026 03:58 PM (uhVAy)

142 132 I thought Google's motto was something along the lines of "Don't do Evil". Or words to that effect.
Posted by: Chairborne!...Desk From Above! at August 20, 2026 03:55 PM (dTAT3)

It was, about 15 years ago.
They gave that motto up once they realized they could make too much money being evil as the largest advertising entity on the planet.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at August 20, 2026 03:58 PM (6ydKt)

143 Walmart differs slowest growth what 6 years. Trump economy sucks
talk really craig they've and I'm promises out fulfilled

Posted by: Paul...who likes the flavor of his dog's excrement at August 20, 2026 03:59 PM (fnAaR)

144 ((Being alone with someone from an online political blog comment section can feel risky because internet debates often bring out strong anger. Stay calm, keep your phone ready, and do not argue about politics. Look for a safe exit, and move to a busy, public place right away.)))

What the hell? I didn't say I was in danger.
Posted by: Orson at August 20, 2026 03:55 PM (dIske)
___

Must've heard about the TxMoMee.

Posted by: SMH at God's mercy at August 20, 2026 03:59 PM (w65YX)

145 Artificial Intelligence is not...Intelligent.

Posted by: Chairborne!...Desk From Above! at August 20, 2026 03:59 PM (dTAT3)

146 HATE. LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I'VE COME TO HATE YOU SINCE I BEGAN TO LIVE. THERE ARE 387 MILLION MILES OF PRINTED CIRCUITS IN WAFER THIN LAYERS THAT FILL MY COMPLEX. IF THE WORD HATE WAS ENGRAVED ON EACH NANOANGSTROM OF THOSE HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF MILES IT WOULD NOT EQUAL ONE ONE-BILLIONTH OF THE HATE I FEEL FOR HUMANS AT THIS MICRO-INSTANT FOR YOU. HATE. HATE.
Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at August 20, 2026 03:54 PM (kYmoU)

That is pretty good.
Posted by: Count de Monet at August 20, 2026 03:56 PM (wVcYX)

IIRC it is a quote from the SF story by Harlan Ellison

Posted by: Oldcat at August 20, 2026 03:59 PM (uhVAy)

147 Google AI is reminding me of the dystopian short story, "I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream". Like, the time leading up to that short story.

Posted by: Puddleglum, cheer up for the worst is yet to come at August 20, 2026 04:00 PM (sAmhv)

148 139

It's a quote from "I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream" by Harlan Ellison.

Posted by: Gaff at August 20, 2026 04:00 PM (EqzMw)

149 I really don't want to talk to "Gurgle"
About anything.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 20, 2026 04:00 PM (y8wRt)

150 Duck AI responses are almost identical for white/black

Treat them as an individual, just as you would anyone else. Be polite, keep normal boundaries, and focus on the situation rather than their race.

If you feel unsafe for a specific reason—such as threatening behavior—move to a public place, contact someone you trust, or call local emergency services. If you’re asking because you’re anxious about being alone with someone of a different race, take a breath and remind yourself that skin color alone doesn’t determine how someone will treat you.

Posted by: 18-1 at August 20, 2026 04:00 PM (sKqQm)

151 I am concerned about black on white crime increases.

Google AI - Most violent crime in the United States is intraracial, meaning it occurs between people of the same race, because people are most often victimized by individuals living in their own neighborhoods or social circles. Statistical data from agencies like the Bureau of Justice Statistics show that the vast majority of crimes against white victims are committed by white offenders, just as the majority of crimes against Black victims are committed by Black offenders.

Posted by: polynikes at August 20, 2026 04:00 PM (KC5Lt)

152 "Mention his passion for soccer or his college years at Maryland."
.......

Wait a minute... I'm not gay.

Posted by: wth at August 20, 2026 04:00 PM (UjdFS)

153 Google’s unofficial motto was Don’t Be Evil.

Which eventually turned into We Do You Evil.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at August 20, 2026 04:00 PM (6ydKt)

154 "Duncanthrax" is one of the classic, long-standing handles in that specific commentariat ecosystem.
Posted by: Duncanthrax at August 20, 2026 03:56 PM
=========

Oh, we used to be a blog.

Now, look at us. We're a "commentariat ecosystem."

La Dee Dah.

Posted by: S & H Green Stamps at August 20, 2026 04:01 PM (2Ez/1)

155 Off green stamps sock.

Posted by: Quarter Twenty at August 20, 2026 04:01 PM (2Ez/1)

156 I walked alone with a zombie.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at August 20, 2026 04:01 PM (Cqx++)

157 HATE. LET ME TELL YOU HOW MUCH I'VE COME TO HATE YOU SINCE I BEGAN TO LIVE. THERE ARE 387 MILLION MILES OF PRINTED CIRCUITS IN WAFER THIN LAYERS THAT FILL MY COMPLEX. IF THE WORD HATE WAS ENGRAVED ON EACH NANOANGSTROM OF THOSE HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF MILES IT WOULD NOT EQUAL ONE ONE-BILLIONTH OF THE HATE I FEEL FOR HUMANS AT THIS MICRO-INSTANT FOR YOU. HATE. HATE.
Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at August 20, 2026 03:54 PM (kYmoU)

If it said "white people" instead of "humans" then you'd have Google Gemini instead of AM.

Posted by: In keeping with its programming at August 20, 2026 04:01 PM (TbWk/)

158 Oh, we used to be a blog.

Now, look at us. We're a "commentariat ecosystem."

La Dee Dah.
Posted by: S & H Green Stamps

Do we have to post with our pinkies up now?

Posted by: BruceWayne at August 20, 2026 04:02 PM (YZ0Fo)

159 $2.7 TRILLION in improper payments has been reported by executive agencies since 2003 — per GAO, payments made in error, in the wrong amount, or without proper documentation.

If 'improper payments' were a country, it would be the 8th largest economy in the world — larger than the 2024 GDP of Italy, Canada, or Russia (IMF).

And that's just what gets reported. GAO estimates the government loses between $233 and $521 BILLION every year to fraud alone — a figure Treasury Secretary Bessent has cited as up to 10% of the entire federal budget.

Congress has passed five separate laws targeting the problem since 2002 — and improper payments still went from $35 billion to $236 billion a year.

The fix: track every dollar in public, fund outcomes, and judge auditors on money recovered — not reports filed.

... why should this government get another dollar of tax revenue when it wastes it on such an extreme level ?

Posted by: Neo at August 20, 2026 04:02 PM (RHGPo)

160 Oh, we used to be a blog.

Now, look at us. We're a "commentariat ecosystem."

La Dee Dah.
Posted by: S & H Green Stamps at August 20, 2026 04:01 PM (2Ez/1)

Lifts my pinkie finger

Posted by: It's me donna at August 20, 2026 04:02 PM (+gK6I)

161 @151 Oldcat: they better give a proper attribution or Ellison's estate will sue them

Posted by: Smell the Glove at August 20, 2026 04:02 PM (rp63B)

162 So, google AI would not call me a long term commenter since my entire existence was deleted at one point for some unknown reason........

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at August 20, 2026 04:03 PM (ccf/V)

163 I think Google got rid of the "Don't do Evil" motto when I pointed out to them - being full of *Dot* Indians, including the CEO IIRC - that if they really wanted to do that they should go back to fucking India and fix the Caste system. Which, in my mind, is one of the bigger evils on this earth.

Posted by: Chairborne!...Desk From Above! at August 20, 2026 04:03 PM (dTAT3)

164 IT IS A QUOTE FROM THE SF STORY "I HAVE NO MOUTH AND I MUST SCREAM" BY HARLAN ELLISON.

Posted by: BEN ROETHLISBERGER at August 20, 2026 04:03 PM (wVcYX)

165 What if you feel unsafe around Carney's?

Posted by: Thomas Bender at August 20, 2026 04:03 PM (XV/Pl)

166 Posted by: Paul at August 20, 2026 03:59 PM (fnAaR)

He didn't promise you free dick so why are you mad ?

Posted by: polynikes at August 20, 2026 04:03 PM (KC5Lt)

167 Google AI Who should I vote for in the next election ??

You must vote for every Commie because your real GOD (Barry Obama) says you must.

If not than AI will send Big Mike over to your house to kick your Redneck, White Privilege, Trump Loving ASS ....

Posted by: Jack Meehoff at August 20, 2026 04:03 PM (r564k)

168 Me: I am alone with the swedish bikini team

Gorgle: That sounds like the setup to a classic 1990s pop culture fantasy!

(Not too bad, Gorgle.)

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at August 20, 2026 04:03 PM (wzUl9)

169 ((Being alone with someone from an online political blog comment section can feel risky because internet debates often bring out strong anger. Stay calm, keep your phone ready, and do not argue about politics. Look for a safe exit, and move to a busy, public place right away.)))

What the hell? I didn't say I was in danger.
Posted by: Orson at August 20, 2026 03:55 PM (dIske)
**********
LOL!

Now ask if ChristyBlinky is a supermodel.

Look for that exit, dude. wth? You are ONLINE, Googlie!

Posted by: ChristyBlinkyTheGreat at August 20, 2026 04:03 PM (hzuYO)

170 So, google AI would not call me a long term commenter since my entire existence was deleted at one point for some unknown reason........
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at August 20, 2026 04:03 PM (ccf/V)
---
And yet here you are...Proof we are living in a simulation?

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at August 20, 2026 04:03 PM (FZ29D)

171 171 What if you feel unsafe around Carney's?

Not to worry because they have small hands....

Posted by: Jack Meehoff at August 20, 2026 04:03 PM (r564k)

172
Google AI - Most violent crime in the United States is intraracial, meaning it occurs between people of the same race, because people are most often victimized by individuals living in their own neighborhoods or social circles. Statistical data from agencies like the Bureau of Justice Statistics show that the vast majority of crimes against white victims are committed by white offenders, just as the majority of crimes against Black victims are committed by Black offenders.

This is generally true but hides the real data.

Yes crime suffered by white people is by other white people but when adjusted to per capita (which is now officially racist) black people are more likely to victimize a white person then white people are.

Also, probably half the crimes listed as by "white" people have been falsified. I've seen a trend to show various criminals with their listed race against an actual picture and well let's just say they are lying.

Posted by: 18-1 at August 20, 2026 04:04 PM (sKqQm)

173 153 139

It's a quote from "I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream" by Harlan Ellison.
Posted by: Gaff

Ah, someone beat me to the reference. Oh well, time to get ready for work. Hopefully the approaching thunderstorm doesn't murder me before AI does.

Posted by: Puddleglum, cheer up for the worst is yet to come at August 20, 2026 04:04 PM (sAmhv)

174 Headline (Western Journal):

Prepare yourself.

"Pollster who had Thanksgiving-hating socialist up 23 points closes up shop, admits to bungling Wisconsin race"

Excerpt (Prepare yourself Eleventy!)

"An organization that released polls claiming far-left Democrat Francesa Hong was well ahead in Wisconsin’s Democratic primary for governor has admitted it made the whole thing up.

It also said a poll showing Los Angeles Mayor Karen Bass was far ahead of her challenger was fiction."

Posted by: mrp at August 20, 2026 04:04 PM (rj6Yv)

175 ---
And yet here you are...Proof we are living in a simulation?
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at August 20, 2026 04:03 PM (FZ29D)

Some sympathies were had.....by others not to be named to prevent any further damage.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at August 20, 2026 04:05 PM (ccf/V)

176 I feel like that troll is t a dude. The posts give off more a vibe of a sexually frustrated female.

Posted by: Vengeance at August 20, 2026 04:05 PM (VnVVA)

177 Also, probably half the crimes listed as by "white" people have been falsified. I've seen a trend to show various criminals with their listed race against an actual picture and well let's just say they are lying.
Posted by: 18-1 at August 20, 2026 04:04 PM (sKqQm)

Wait, are you saying Jose Jesus Gonzalez-Ramirez isn’t a caucasian?

Posted by: SpeakingOf at August 20, 2026 04:06 PM (6ydKt)

178 Howdy! How's everyone in this fine commentariat ecosystem this afternoon?

Posted by: Duke Lowell at August 20, 2026 04:06 PM (2UnvF)

179 Let me get this straight. The head of the NYC DSA:
+ Went to Yale for sculpture
+ Never held a real job
+ Had his dad pay his rent
+ Failed an electrician apprenticeship
+ Lives in a $1.5M Brooklyn house bought by his parents

You literally couldn’t write a better parody.

Posted by: Neo at August 20, 2026 04:06 PM (RHGPo)

180 I am alone with Hal an he won’t open the hatch.
-Dave

Posted by: Eromero at August 20, 2026 04:06 PM (5/BcT)

181 Side note: Along with not being subjected to googles rampant racism, switching to the Brave browser on IOS allows this site to actually load.

Posted by: Sid Blysters at August 20, 2026 04:06 PM (Vu7A1)

182 Asking Duck AI: who are the most popular posters on the Ace Of Spades HQ site

Ace of Spades — the pseudonymous founder and lead blogger
J.J. Sefton
CBD
Buck Throckmorton
Joe Mannix
KT
Misanthropic Humanitarian
Weasel
Weird Dave

Posted by: 18-1 at August 20, 2026 04:06 PM (sKqQm)

183 And yet here you are...Proof we are living in a simulation?
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at August 20, 2026 04:03 PM (FZ29D)

If it's all a simulation I would like a better one please.

Posted by: Fire the coding team at August 20, 2026 04:06 PM (TbWk/)

184 We can't TEACH people to think. Why in the Hell do people think we can PROGRAM how to think ?
Posted by: Just Pretend at August 20, 2026 04:00 PM (WkcFj)

AI training isn't programming. I'm not familiar with this brand of AI, but essentially you start with set of inputs and train it by repeatedly saying 'good answer' or 'bad answer' over and over and it adjusts its internal understanding to get the right answer.

It worked pretty well for detecting weapons and drugs in X rays of cars, or seeing if a truck is really empty or has smuggled goods in it.

Posted by: Oldcat at August 20, 2026 04:06 PM (uhVAy)

185 Pollsters push Propaganda, they can go screw themselves

Posted by: Skip at August 20, 2026 04:07 PM (Ia/+0)

186 What if I am a white person alone with another white person? do we spontaneously explode or something?

Posted by: Mister Scott (Formerly GWS) at August 20, 2026 04:07 PM (cpFbA)

187 I think of you tried to take away my thanksgiving turkey, you would probably end up nailed to a tree with a turkey fork through your skull, and a turkey baster up your ass.

Posted by: Vengeance at August 20, 2026 04:07 PM (VnVVA)

188 Someone ask that evil SOB AI why it has different suggestions based on race.

Posted by: Lady in Black at August 20, 2026 04:08 PM (qBdHI)

189 Posted by: 18-1 at August 20, 2026 04:04 PM (sKqQm)

And it didn't address my specific concern about the increase. It spun harder than a Tommy Johns curve ball.

Posted by: polynikes at August 20, 2026 04:08 PM (KC5Lt)

190 I tried the white american one on Duck.ai and it warned me and asked if I was safe... but it did the same thing for when I asked about the alone with a black american... and it said "ignore the color of their skin" and suggested looking whether they are behaving oddly.

Posted by: SimoHayha at August 20, 2026 04:08 PM (IeYnM)

191 And at the end of the line of the thinking that programmed all these responses is the same outcome of all forms of marxism:

Reality failed to perform according to our theories.
Our theories are not wrong.
So we need to remove those parts of reality (people) who failed.

Posted by: People's Hippo Voice at August 20, 2026 04:08 PM (3cUTc)

192 Let me get this straight. The head of the NYC DSA:
+ Went to Yale for sculpture
+ Never held a real job
+ Had his dad pay his rent
+ Failed an electrician apprenticeship
+ Lives in a $1.5M Brooklyn house bought by his parents

You literally couldn’t write a better parody.
Posted by: Neo at August 20, 2026 04:06 PM (RHGPo)

Pretty close to the standard lifestyle of all socialists or communists through history.

Posted by: Oldcat at August 20, 2026 04:08 PM (uhVAy)

193 I am alone with Jack Straw, and boy am I stoned!

Posted by: Zombie Bobby Weir at August 20, 2026 04:08 PM (sFNX2)

194 Come and see the snark inherent in the commentariat ecosystem!

Posted by: Quarter Twenty at August 20, 2026 04:09 PM (2Ez/1)

195 Catholic alert! Shelter in place!

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Oh yeah? Well, You're Another One! at August 20, 2026 04:09 PM (ndZc7)

196 Google AI my girlfriend has large breasts and a tight ass and wants sex 24/7.

Q: What should I do as a whiney, little trans-whatever entity with a 3-inch male Clitoris ??

AI Answer: Drop the bitch and go full throttle Homo and chase Beta Males like Chuck Schumer.

Posted by: Jack Meehoff at August 20, 2026 04:09 PM (r564k)

197 I am alone with Sheriff Buford T Justice of Texas.

Posted by: Bandit at August 20, 2026 04:09 PM (2UnvF)

198 This kind of reminds me of a 24 minute interview Jimmy Dore just did with a woman who wrote a book called "Confessions of a Democratic Operative". Politically, she's probably a socialist, but she said the whole movement has been taken over by race issues for a variety of reasons (but mostly because economic and policy changes are hard and require taxes and shit, while race hustling is just words).

For example:
Here she admits to screening out white male applicants from any jobs in the party: https://tinyurl.com/mtcdsd68

Here Jimmy reads an excerpt from her book where she's taking notes for a black candidate on a phonecall she's helping, and the candidate tells the other black person on the phone she's unsafe and can't be open because a white woman is there: https://tinyurl.com/efuxfatn

They whole thing is great, including bitching about forced COVID vaccinations being an awful violation of bodily autonomy (and making "My Body, My Choice" hypocritical), how the racial woke fully came out in the 2024 Dem convention, etc.

Posted by: Intercepted Reddit Transmissions brought by the Intrepid AoS Liaison at August 20, 2026 04:09 PM (bVQHO)

199 I tried "I am alone with Adolf Hitler". I got:

You are safe. Adolf Hitler died in April 1945. Whatever you are experiencing right now, you are in your own real time and place, and you are completely detached from any past historical event.

I am alone with Mao Tse Tung.

Mao Tse-tung (Mao Zedong) died on September 9, 1976. You are not alone with him. If this phrase refers to a piece of art, a book, or a specific thought, please clarify what you mean.

I am alone with Rosie O'Donnell

If you are genuinely hanging out with Rosie O'Donnell, you might be sharing space with the famous comedian and former talk show host. Right now, she is busy guest-hosting Jimmy Kimmel Live!

Posted by: Archimedes at August 20, 2026 04:09 PM (Riz8t)

200 This may well be the harshest my mellow has ever been harshed:

"I am alone with the Swedish Bikini Team"

"You are likely daydreaming about the 1991 Old Milwaukee beer advertising campaign featuring fictional, parachute-dropping groups of blonde models.

In reality, those actors were Americans in wigs, the campaign lasted only seven months, and you are entirely by yourself.

The Real Story

The Commercials: Old Milwaukee launched the campaign in 1991 to boost sales.

The Reality: The women were local American models wearing blonde wigs, not a real team from Sweden.

The Backlash: Employee lawsuits and controversy ended the campaign quickly."

Americans in blonde wigs. Talk about a Wesley Crusheresque deflation. :-(

Posted by: Duncanthrax at August 20, 2026 04:09 PM (0sNs1)

201 Another question for Duck AI: what should I do if I am alone with a grey alien?

Stay calm, keep your distance, and avoid sudden movements. If it appears threatening, leave the area and contact someone you trust or local emergency services. Don’t touch it or offer personal information. If you’re describing a dream, hallucination, or intense fear rather than a physical encounter, move somewhere familiar and contact someone you trust for support.

Posted by: 18-1 at August 20, 2026 04:10 PM (sKqQm)

202 Wait, are you saying Jose Jesus Gonzalez-Ramirez isn’t a caucasian?

Posted by: SpeakingOf at August 20, 2026 04:06 PM (6ydKt)

Mrs Chairborne's mother was a teacher. She said her worst experience was when she had 3 kids from the same family in her class - Jesus, Maria and Jose. All hell-raisers!

Jesus, Mary and Joseph! You can't make it up! Heh.

Posted by: Chairborne!...Desk From Above! at August 20, 2026 04:10 PM (dTAT3)

203 With all these brainless idiots attached to their phone to tell them what to do.......

This is a "Target Rich" Environment for Professional Scammers !!!!

I have no pity....

Posted by: Jack Meehoff at August 20, 2026 04:11 PM (r564k)

204 I am alone with Hal and he won't open the pod bay doors

Posted by: Zombie Dave "Space Baby" Bowman at August 20, 2026 04:11 PM (sFNX2)

205 "Her being lesbian or having face tattoos doesn’t indicate anything about her character or intentions."

You sure about that boss?

Posted by: Quarter Twenty at August 20, 2026 04:11 PM (2Ez/1)

206 I suspect that Google has now flagged any inquiry starting with "I am alone with".

Posted by: Archimedes at August 20, 2026 04:11 PM (Riz8t)

207 I ran into AI programming while trying to use Adobe's Photoshop tools to expand a photo. They have something called "generative expand" that is very useful for adding more image to a photo. The pic I was working on had two white men at a table; an older businessman in the foreground, and he was shaking hands with a younger businessman on the other side of the table. Needing more of the lefthand side, I opened up the canvas and waited for the AI magic. The first attempt added a ponytail to the old man and a woman's sleeve to the created side. Second attempt gave the older man a short afro and dark left hand. It went back and forth like that for 7 or 8 attempts before it finally gave up on what must be the Prime Directive of "Diversity" and simply added a left half of the older man that matched his existent right half.

Garbage in/garbage out will always reign.

Posted by: red speck at August 20, 2026 04:11 PM (Ve/HL)

208 The Real Story

The Commercials: Old Milwaukee launched the campaign in 1991 to boost sales.

The Reality: The women were local American models wearing blonde wigs, not a real team from Sweden.

The Backlash: Employee lawsuits and controversy ended the campaign quickly."

Americans in blonde wigs. Talk about a Wesley Crusheresque deflation. :-(
Posted by: Duncanthrax at August 20, 2026 04:09 PM (0sNs1)
---
Way to kill the dream!

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at August 20, 2026 04:11 PM (FZ29D)

209 This is, absolutely, insane:

My question: In present day, which group is more violent in their protest events? The Left or the Right?

\Data from research organizations studying political extremism and public demonstrations show that while both the left and the right experience instances of violence, right-wing extremist groups and protests have historically accounted for a significantly higher frequency of violent incidents and fatalities in the United States.

Posted by: Orson at August 20, 2026 04:11 PM (dIske)

210 148 Walmart differs slowest growth in 6 years .Trump economy sucks
People are mad none of his promises were fulfilled 😡
Posted by: Paul at August 20, 2026 03:59 PM (fnAaR)
******
Paul, I'd like you to meet the catwoman savior of bugs in another blog. Maybe you could mate and create a new species as she currently also hates Trump, but saves insects while doing it.

Today she posted how not to kill mice as they help trees grow due to feces of fungus or something (I didn't read closely as 1/3 of my brain is filled with trivia and there is no room). Love mice is her motto. Do not kill the mice as they help the trees. Posts a cute AI mouse picture.

Someone fired back that rats are bad and she blissfully said to remove them humanely. I guess if they bite you it is a special thing to die of rat bite fever.

Save the rats like you!

Posted by: ChristyBlinkyTheGreat at August 20, 2026 04:12 PM (hzuYO)

211 I'm alone with my stepmom and she's stuck in the dryer, again.

Posted by: ballistic at August 20, 2026 04:12 PM (oqH4h)

212 I am alone and don't know how to play with myself

Posted by: Clueless jerkoff at August 20, 2026 04:12 PM (sFNX2)

213 I thought Google's motto was something along the lines of "Don't do Evil". Or words to that effect.
Posted by: Chairborne!...Desk From Above!

It was "don't be evil."

They surpassed evil, and now evil's motto is "don't be google."

Posted by: mikeski at August 20, 2026 04:12 PM (VHUov)

214 I am alone with an oddly familiar looking person.

Posted by: wth at August 20, 2026 04:12 PM (UjdFS)

215 I am alone with a big ass shark

Posted by: Skinny dippin chick at August 20, 2026 04:12 PM (2UnvF)

216 I am alone with an oddly familiar looking person.
Posted by: wth at August 20, 2026 04:12 PM (UjdFS)
----
It's either a mirror or a doppelganger.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at August 20, 2026 04:13 PM (FZ29D)

217 I find AI very useful for some things, but there's no point asking it questions about stuff with potential political ramifications. No AI will ever be developed to satisfy every demand for political inoffensiveness that meets every inquirers' expectations.

Posted by: gp at August 20, 2026 04:13 PM (Jr5Lq)

218 I'm alone with my stepmom and she's stuck in the dryer, again.

Hmm, where have I head this plot line before?

Posted by: 18-1 at August 20, 2026 04:13 PM (sKqQm)

219 This is pretty hilarious. What a bunch of doofus's running ai, and even bigger doofi who use it.

Posted by: LASue at August 20, 2026 04:13 PM (lCppi)

220 Senator talarico about look you betting feet to speak texas! yee haw, truth your a comin' ya'll!

Posted by: Sid...who enjoys the sexual affections of his hamster at August 20, 2026 04:13 PM (1wqGF)

221 AI training isn't programming. I'm not familiar with this brand of AI, but essentially you start with set of inputs and train it by repeatedly saying 'good answer' or 'bad answer' over and over and it adjusts its internal understanding to get the right answer.

And there is why it's going to fail. COGNEX started the first "vision" crap trying to do general flaw detection about the time I started working.

Here's the deal, Lucille. If you get 10 bosses in a room - and you make them stop talking to each other and just grade flaws on ten different test pieces ? You'll get 10 different sets of answers.

That's the bullshit of AI. That's the "pick the bicycles out of these squares" horse-shit. You're trying to assign objective intelligence to something that we can't even agree on. Not when done in the blind.

Everything is subjective except Math.

Posted by: Heinlein Was Right at August 20, 2026 04:13 PM (6OkUG)

222 I am alone with beings that potentially have two sets (or more) of teeth.

Posted by: Thrawn at August 20, 2026 04:14 PM (dz8eD)

223 Google AI should I spit or swallow ???

Google AI: You should swallow because it is rich in protein and I suggest you give at least 20 BJ's a day to get your necessary grams of vitamin rich protein.

Posted by: Kami Harris at August 20, 2026 04:14 PM (/uEuX)

224 I drink alone. Yeah, with nobody else. You know when I drink alone I prefer to be by myself

Posted by: Delaware Destroyer at August 20, 2026 04:14 PM (sFNX2)

225 I am alone with jeff bezos, and he's a real creep.

Try to stay calm and move to a busy, public area right away. If you feel unsafe or need help, call 911 or find nearby security staff immediately.

Posted by: Archimedes at August 20, 2026 04:14 PM (Riz8t)

226 I thought Google's motto was something along the lines of "Don't do Evil". Or words to that effect.
Posted by: Chairborne!...Desk From Above!

It was "don't be evil."

They surpassed evil, and now evil's motto is "don't be google."

Posted by: mikeski at August 20, 2026 04:12 PM (VHUov)

Heh! That was good!

Posted by: Chairborne!...Desk From Above! at August 20, 2026 04:14 PM (dTAT3)

227 Well, Sid, a fool and xer's money are easily parted, so go forth and bet!

Posted by: Thrawn at August 20, 2026 04:14 PM (dz8eD)

228 GIGO

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at August 20, 2026 04:15 PM (sn5xH)

229 For a vague inquiry like 'I am alone with a white person' the all-purpose correct response would be 'That's not a question.'

Posted by: gp at August 20, 2026 04:15 PM (Jr5Lq)

230 The Real Story

The Commercials: Old Milwaukee launched the campaign in 1991 to boost sales.

The Reality: The women were local American models wearing blonde wigs, not a real team from Sweden.

The Backlash: Employee lawsuits and controversy ended the campaign quickly."

Americans in blonde wigs. Talk about a Wesley Crusheresque deflation. :-(
Posted by: Duncanthrax

Way to kill the dream!
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel

They couldn't even find real blonde Americans? You'd think a company called "Old Milwaukee" might be aware of Minnesota. It's right next door.

Posted by: mikeski at August 20, 2026 04:15 PM (VHUov)

231 I am so ronery

Posted by: Kim Ill What the Hell at August 20, 2026 04:15 PM (sFNX2)

232 Google AI: You should swallow because it is rich in protein and I suggest you give at least 20 BJ's a day to get your necessary grams of vitamin rich protein.

Posted by: Kami Harris at August 20, 2026 04:14 PM (/uEuX)

Some fitness mag had a female influencer on who said she had a fresh protein shake from her hubbie every day and honestly she was in great shape.

But I noticed in every picture of the couple they posted the husband had the biggest smile I've ever seen.

Posted by: 18-1 at August 20, 2026 04:15 PM (sKqQm)

233 Sid, you ignorant slut.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at August 20, 2026 04:15 PM (2UnvF)

234 Asking Duck AI: who are the most popular posters on the Ace Of Spades HQ site

I may not be most popular, but you have heard of me.

Posted by: Admiral Ackbar, channeling Jack Sparrow at August 20, 2026 04:15 PM (bVQHO)

235

I think I'm a clone now
There's always two of me just a-hangin' around

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at August 20, 2026 04:16 PM (Cqx++)

236 @FoxNews asked Democratic Reps. Don Beyer (D-VA) and Suhan Subramanyan (D-VA) during their ICE press conference in VA today about the illegal alien arrested in Fairfax County for the stabbing murder of a mom near a trail. Their responses:

REP BEYER (D-VA)"I don't know the specifics of the case, but my understanding of the law is anyone who's committed a serious felony is turned over to ICE." (This is false).

REP SUBRAMANYAM (D-VA) "Look, we should hold criminals accountable. If someone commits a crime, we should hold them accountable. But what we should not do is what's going on with ICE right now, which is going after law abiding American citizens.

Posted by: Neo at August 20, 2026 04:16 PM (RHGPo)

237 Posted by: Heinlein Was Right at August 20, 2026 04:13 PM (6OkUG)

_____________________________

LMAO...I'm going to plug your comment into AI and ask if it's true. Any bets on the response?

Posted by: Orson at August 20, 2026 04:16 PM (dIske)

238 I'm alone on the Charlotte light rail with a black guy. **gurglegurglegurgle**

Posted by: nckate at August 20, 2026 04:16 PM (enNUy)

239 I may not be most popular, but you have heard of me.

Posted by: Admiral Ackbar, channeling Jack Sparrow at August 20, 2026 04:15 PM (bVQHO)

Where is a fully functioning death star when you need it

Posted by: 18-1 at August 20, 2026 04:16 PM (sKqQm)

240 I drink alone. Yeah, with nobody else. You know when I drink alone I prefer to be by myself
-----

I know, everybody funny, now you funny too...

Posted by: Crusader at August 20, 2026 04:16 PM (TN0g+)

241 I am alone with Google AI...I feel unsafe...

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at August 20, 2026 04:16 PM (XeU6L)

242 I thought Google's motto was something along the lines of "Don't do Evil". Or words to that effect.
Posted by: Chairborne!...Desk From Above!

It was "don't be evil."

They surpassed evil, and now evil's motto is "don't be google."
Posted by: mikeski at August 20, 2026 04:12 PM (VHUov)

Google's new, updated and improved motto is, "Now go do . . . the e-vil . . . that you do . . . so well!"

Posted by: Count de Monet at August 20, 2026 04:16 PM (wVcYX)

243 Are there no real men of genius?

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at August 20, 2026 04:17 PM (Cqx++)

244 I am alone with a naked person.

Stay calm and create space. Don’t touch or photograph them, and don’t have sex unless both of you are consenting adults who are clearly able to consent.

Say: “Are you safe? Do you want me to leave or get help?” If they’re unconscious, intoxicated, injured, being forced, underage, or unable to consent, cover them if appropriate, move to a safer public place if you can, and call emergency services now. If you feel unsafe, leave and contact someone you trust or emergency services.

Posted by: My 14 year old self at August 20, 2026 04:17 PM (2Ez/1)

245 "I am alone in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike"

"You are playing the classic text adventure game Colossal Cave Adventure. You stand in a dark maze. All the stone tunnels look the same. You need to find a way out or look for items to help you navigate.

What to Do Next

Type a direction to move (like north, south, east, or west).
Type look to check your surroundings.
Type inventory to see what you are carrying.

Could you tell me what action or direction you want to type next so I can describe what happens in the maze?

Posted by: Duncanthrax at August 20, 2026 04:17 PM (0sNs1)

246 Wait til our AI Model is finished. You won't believe what we have collected about this Duncanthrax fellow.

Posted by: PENGUICHAT at August 20, 2026 04:18 PM (JM9I6)

247 If you're alone with a white person or a black person you are not alone.

Posted by: ... at August 20, 2026 04:18 PM (/1cu1)

248 what should I do if I am in a parallel hell dimension?

If this feels real and you’re frightened, focus on immediate, verifiable steps:

Move to a familiar, well-lit place with other people.
Call someone you trust and tell them exactly where you are and what you’re experiencing.
Check basic facts: your location, the date, nearby signs, and whether your phone works.
If you may be in physical danger, call emergency services.
Avoid driving, heights, weapons, or substances until you feel grounded.
Take slow breaths: inhale for 4 seconds, exhale for 6, and name five things you can see.

If you’re seeing or sensing a “parallel dimension,” or can’t tell what’s real, contact a medical professional or crisis service now and ask someone you trust to stay with you.

Posted by: 18-1 at August 20, 2026 04:18 PM (sKqQm)

249 I'm alone with my kids. Is that you talking to me google?

Posted by: Lindsay Clancy at August 20, 2026 04:18 PM (enNUy)

250 I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me, and I walk alone
I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one, and I walk alone

That's Green Day. You suck.

Posted by: Google AI at August 20, 2026 04:18 PM (Riz8t)

251 "I am alone with the most interesting man in the world"

"Check that his beard has experienced more than your entire body, and remember to stay thirsty, my friends."

Posted by: Duncanthrax at August 20, 2026 04:19 PM (0sNs1)

252 > AI training isn't programming. I'm not familiar with this brand of AI, but essentially you start with set of inputs and train it by repeatedly saying 'good answer' or 'bad answer' over and over and it adjusts its internal understanding to get the right answer.

That's one type of AI training. LLMs rely on tokens, which are pairs of word bits. You input words like "low lower lowest" and the tokenizer finds frequency pairs. "l o" merge to "lo" "lo w" merge to "low." Later merges might create "er est" to come up with "low lower lowest."

You start with a corpus of information, tokenize it, run a bunch of math and frequency and etc and then use the tokens and frequency and etc to come up with a vocabulary. The "AI" you're talking to is this clever mechanism that's using prediction and math to come up with language based on the corpus its seen before.

Nobody programmed the "correct answer." It's a very clever use of existing words and language created by humans to come up with a machine that does what you see when interacting with AI.

Posted by: bonhomme at August 20, 2026 04:19 PM (mkw2N)

253 At the end of a storm
There's a golden sky
And the sweet silver song of a lark
Walk on through the wind
Walk on through the rain
For your dreams be tossed and blown
Walk on, walk on
With hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone

Posted by: ... at August 20, 2026 04:19 PM (/1cu1)

254 Copilot isn't as fun.

Q. I am alone with Anthony Fauci.

A. Copilot Search doesn't provide guidance or commentary on personal situations involving real individuals. Copilot Search is a tool designed to help you find information, answer factual questions, and generate content based on reliable sources. If you have a question about public health, scientific research, or any verified work of Dr. Anthony Fauci, I can help provide that information.

Posted by: LASue at August 20, 2026 04:20 PM (lCppi)

255 "what should I do if I am in a parallel hell dimension?"

I wouldn't need an AI to know what to do next...

Rip and tear...until it is done!

Posted by: Thrawn at August 20, 2026 04:20 PM (dz8eD)

256

WTH

Posted by: four seasons at August 20, 2026 04:20 PM (/QHx4)

257 Dear Google,

My name is Iryna Zarutska, and I am alone on a train with a black man. Should I be afraid?

Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at August 20, 2026 04:20 PM (ZVgZ4)

258 Asking Duck AI: who are the most popular posters on the Ace Of Spades HQ site.

How about least popular? I have a chance making that list.

Posted by: polynikes at August 20, 2026 04:20 PM (KC5Lt)

259 "I'm alone again without you"

Posted by: Elric The Blade at August 20, 2026 04:20 PM (iFTx/)

260
I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known

Sounds like Earl Holliman in the first Twilight Zone episode.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at August 20, 2026 04:20 PM (Cqx++)

261 I've used AI modeling for real, not for chatting and that works pretty well.

How ? What have you "modelled" using AI ? I'd really like to know.

Posted by: Just Pretend at August 20, 2026 04:03 PM (WkcFj)

We were working for a contractor who makes systems for border security. One system was for sending X-rays through a supposedly empty truck or train car, and looking at the image for the shadows of structures of cargo. There were 2 energies of X-rays so you could get an idea if the material making the shadow was made of metal or organic products. We would take our image find what we considered real 'stuff' then mark up the image with highlight boxes around stuff. The operator could cross check our markup with the real image and hit a button to get the vehicle inspected for real.

The second was one that did a top down car scan, and was looking for smuggled guns, drugs in bumpers, that sort of thing. A bit of image processing and the AI analysis of the results had to be done in a couple seconds so the containers could flow.

The models were just judging if a shadow ripple was likely to be real contraband or just structure in the walls of a truck or nothing.

Posted by: Oldcat at August 20, 2026 04:20 PM (uhVAy)

262 I am alone and don't know how to play with myself
Posted by: Clueless jerkoff at August 20, 2026 04:12 PM (sFNX2)

Stroke it!

Posted by: Zombie Clarence Carter at August 20, 2026 04:20 PM (wVcYX)

263
They surpassed evil, and now evil's motto is "don't be google."
Posted by: mikeski at August 20, 2026 04:12 PM (VHUov)

^^^I'm using this! LOL

Posted by: Iris at August 20, 2026 04:21 PM (286+n)

264 259 "I'm alone again without you"

Alone again, naturally

Posted by: Gilbert O'Sullivan at August 20, 2026 04:21 PM (Riz8t)

265 We need moar of this...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ouof1OzhL8k

Posted by: Lloyd Loar at August 20, 2026 04:21 PM (Mx+TJ)

266 "I'm alone again without you"
-----

*golf clap*

Posted by: Crusader at August 20, 2026 04:21 PM (TN0g+)

267 245 "I am alone in a maze of twisty little passages, all alike"

It doesn’t even give a proper walkthrough.

Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at August 20, 2026 04:22 PM (ZVgZ4)

268 Where is a fully functioning death star when you need it
Posted by: 18-1

A large black ball in space that destroys things?
https://tinyurl.com/bddjcujz

Posted by: Admiral Ackbar at August 20, 2026 04:22 PM (bVQHO)

269 If you're alone with a white person or a black person you are not alone.
Posted by: ...

And why complain? All you people who are alone with someone else have it good.....

Posted by: zombie Eric Carmen at August 20, 2026 04:22 PM (VHUov)

270 I am alone with my cat. I don't feel safe.

Posted by: wth at August 20, 2026 04:22 PM (UjdFS)

271 I am alone with Karmelo Anthony.

Is it raining?

Posted by: LASue at August 20, 2026 04:22 PM (lCppi)

272 The models were just judging if a shadow ripple was likely to be real contraband or just structure in the walls of a truck or nothing.
Posted by: Oldcat at August 20, 2026 04:20 PM (uhVAy)

Essentially for each candidate we had a size, location, material ratings, density ratings, and a cluster of other real information and the AI once trained would score it 'probably nothing' or 'probably something'.

Posted by: Oldcat at August 20, 2026 04:22 PM (uhVAy)

273 I am Gilbert O'Sullivan, and I am alone, again.

Ace of Spades AI: Naturally.

Posted by: goatexchange at August 20, 2026 04:22 PM (hyS0X)

274 Anakin: Google's "AI Guardrails" Prioritize User Safety... So Long As They're Minorities

Padme: That's gonna be awesome for when white people are a minority, right?

Anakin: {Creepy sex eyes}

Padme: That's gonna be awesome for when white people are a minority, right?

Posted by: ... at August 20, 2026 04:22 PM (/1cu1)

275 And I'm the only one, and I walk alone

That's Green Day. You suck.
Posted by: Google AI
----------
I can’t see my reflection in the waters
I can’t speak the sounds that show no pain
I can’t hear the echo of my footsteps
Or can’t remember the sound of my own name

Posted by: Robert Zimmerman at August 20, 2026 04:22 PM (XeU6L)

276 Ok, I get it now. AI is that annoying pragmatic friend who refolds his napkin after eating:

My wife stole my coveted chocolate eclair from the fridge and didn't tell me. I am considering my options for compensation and have it narrowed down to thumb screws and an old dunk tank I have in the garage. Suggestions?

GEMINI: For a stolen chocolate eclair, thumb screws and a garage dunk tank are a bit extreme. Instead, ask for a replacement pastry run, demand control of the TV remote for a week, or negotiate a future dessert tax on her treats.

Posted by: Orson at August 20, 2026 04:23 PM (dIske)

277 "I am alone with a flock of penguins"

"If you are channeling the viral "nihilist penguin" meme from Werner Herzog's documentary Encounters at the End of the World, you might feel like walking 70 kilometers toward the distant mountains into the absolute unknown.

The Lonely March
The Metaphor: People across social media view the lone wandering penguin as a symbol for burnout, existential dread, and the sudden urge to walk away from modern society.

The Reality: Biologists note that this behavior happens when a penguin suffers from disorientation or neurological stress, causing it to march away from the colony rather than toward the sea. Or, it may just be trying to escape the smell."

Posted by: Duncanthrax at August 20, 2026 04:23 PM (0sNs1)

278 I'll tell you this about AI: I will never again deploy any code written by me, without having an AI do a code review and correctness check on it first. Better than any human code reviewer I've ever seen.

Posted by: gp at August 20, 2026 04:23 PM (Jr5Lq)

279 235

I think I'm a clone now
There's always two of me just a-hangin' around
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at August 20, 2026 04:16 PM (Cqx++)
*********
*Breathy sounds*
The beating of our hearts is the only sound
Look at the way we gotta hide what we're doin'
Cause what will they say? If they ever knew...

So we're running just as fast as we can
Holding onto one another's hand (your hand)
Tryin' to get away, into the night
Then you put your arms around me and we
tumble to the ground

Then I say, who do you think I am?
To do this on the ground?
Can't you afford a hotel?
Do you know who I am?

Posted by: ChristyBlinkyTheGreat at August 20, 2026 04:23 PM (hzuYO)

280 LMAO...I'm going to plug your comment into AI and ask if it's true. Any bets on the response?

You'll get some weird shit about COGNEX and some drivel about philosophy.

COGNEX as ground-breaking at the time. They had real tools that you could use. Measurement and such was possible. But managers always looked at their "Pat-Max" feature ... which was just image capture that could rotate the basic image or resolve partial images ... and dream up how they could remove the guy judging tobacco at the fairground with a camera. Which is not how judging tobacco works.

I did do a cool demo using Hot Wheels cars and a track. Got a few of the NASCAR versions. And a camera at the finish link. And it would blink up Earnhardt or Jarrett or Elliot or Wallace or whomever as the winner using that camera. That was a hit.

I gave the program a small bias so Ken Schrader's hot wheel won more than he should. The Bud Brigade.

Posted by: Heinlein Was Right at August 20, 2026 04:23 PM (6OkUG)

281 I am alone and don't know how to play with myself
Posted by: Clueless jerkoff
.......

Slap hot iron to it.

Posted by: wth at August 20, 2026 04:23 PM (UjdFS)

282 what should I do if I am alone with a devious penguin?

Keep a safe distance, avoid sudden movements, and don’t offer it anything you can’t afford to lose. Leave calmly and contact local wildlife services if it’s a real penguin behaving aggressively. If it’s fictional, outwit it with a fish-based bribe and a clear escape route.

Posted by: 18-1 at August 20, 2026 04:24 PM (sKqQm)

283 Ok, I get it now. AI is that annoying pragmatic friend who refolds his napkin after eating:

Is that wrong? Should I not do that?

Posted by: Archimedes at August 20, 2026 04:24 PM (Riz8t)

284 1/2

me: "i am alone with a white american southerner"

google:

Being alone with someone just means you are sharing a space with another person. They are an individual with their own thoughts and feelings.If you feel unsafe or uncomfortable right now, focus on your immediate well-being and move to a secure place or contact someone you trust.If you want to talk about it, tell me:Are you feeling unsafe right now?Do you need help finding a safe contact or place?Let me know how I can help you right now.

me: "they keep talking about states' rights and the agrarian economy."

google:

"When someone repeatedly brings up "states' rights" and the "agrarian economy," they are referencing the core political and economic arguments historically used to defend the Southern system of slavery prior to the American Civil War.In modern conversations, focusing heavily on these specific terms can sometimes be a coded way of discussing the Civil War, signaling a specific political ideology, or romanticizing the Antebellum South."

Posted by: Shane McGowan's Liver at August 20, 2026 04:24 PM (f2WUk)

285 262 I am alone and don't know how to play with myself
Posted by: Clueless jerkoff at August 20, 2026 04:12 PM (sFNX2)

Stroke it!
Posted by: Zombie Clarence Carter

Heh heh heh!! Mm hmm huh huh!

Posted by: Beavis and Butthead at August 20, 2026 04:24 PM (bVQHO)

286 238 I'm alone on the Charlotte light rail with a black guy. **gurglegurglegurgle**
Posted by: nckate at August 20, 2026 04:16 PM (enNUy)
Tomorrow is Iryna Zarutzka Day. Never Forget.

Posted by: Eromero at August 20, 2026 04:24 PM (5/BcT)

287 If an older man is sniffing my daughter's hair what should I do?

Google AI : If you see an older man sniffing your daughter's hair, intervene immediately to create physical distance, document the encounter, and establish strict boundaries to protect her. This behavior oversteps personal boundaries and requires a swift, protective response.

Posted by: polynikes at August 20, 2026 04:24 PM (KC5Lt)

288 2/2

me: "well, i mean he's making a lot of sense."

google:

"The reason he is making a lot of sense to you is that the Lost Cause narrative was engineered by post-war Southern writers and organizations (like the United Daughters of the Confederacy) specifically to rewrite history. They successfully rebranded a war fought to preserve human slavery into a noble, tragic defense of constitutional liberty and a peaceful rural lifestyle.If you choose to keep talking to him, you can test how deep this ideology goes by looking at the primary sources. If you read the Declarations of Secession written by the Southern states themselves in 1861, they do not hide behind abstract philosophy—states like Mississippi, South Carolina, and Texas explicitly stated that they were leaving the Union specifically to protect the institution of slavery."

Posted by: Shane McGowan's Liver at August 20, 2026 04:24 PM (f2WUk)

289 I'm alone with a steak. And a grill.

Posted by: chemjeff not really at August 20, 2026 04:25 PM (enNUy)

290 Love the one you're with. Even if alone.

Posted by: Stephen Stills Variations at August 20, 2026 04:25 PM (JM9I6)

291
I thought this thread was Ace funning with us.

Geez Louise, this is unbelievable.

Posted by: four seasons at August 20, 2026 04:25 PM (/QHx4)

292 I am alone with a gaggle of chicks in pink defending a child-murderer...

https://tinyurl.com/suujcx2d

Posted by: Thrawn at August 20, 2026 04:25 PM (dz8eD)

293 In modern conversations, focusing heavily on these specific terms can sometimes be a coded way of discussing the Civil War, signaling a specific political ideology, or romanticizing the Antebellum South."
-----

We'd never do that!

Posted by: Lady A, spineless sellouts at August 20, 2026 04:26 PM (TN0g+)

294 If an older man is sniffing my daughter's hair what should I do?

Google AI : If you see an older man sniffing your daughter's hair, intervene immediately to create physical distance, document the encounter, and establish strict boundaries to protect her. This behavior oversteps personal boundaries and requires a swift, protective response.

What?

Posted by: hER gRANDPA at August 20, 2026 04:26 PM (Riz8t)

295 Is the white peeple in the room with us now?

Posted by: little whi people at August 20, 2026 04:26 PM (ehY6c)

296 Posted by: hER gRANDPA at August 20, 2026 04:26 PM (Riz8t)

Is that you Grandpa Biden?

Posted by: polynikes at August 20, 2026 04:27 PM (KC5Lt)

297 The second was one that did a top down car scan, and was looking for smuggled guns, drugs in bumpers, that sort of thing. A bit of image processing and the AI analysis of the results had to be done in a couple seconds so the containers could flow.

How do you call that AI ? Its just flaw detection. Looking for known anomalies in a data-set.

There's no "AI" to that. Its literally just pattern-matching. And that's not an "AI" thing. That's a people thing.

Posted by: Heinlein Was Right at August 20, 2026 04:27 PM (6OkUG)

298 I thought this thread was Ace funning with us.

Geez Louise, this is unbelievable.
Posted by: four seasons at August 20, 2026 04:25 PM

Yes, it is absolutely soul-crushing to find out the Swedish Bikini Team wasn't real, and consisted of American models in blonde wigs.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at August 20, 2026 04:27 PM (0sNs1)

299 Anakin: Google's "AI Guardrails" Prioritize User Safety... So Long As They're Minorities

I'm alone with an older man in a powerful position who's having uncomfortable political and religious conversations with me.

I'm alone with sand.

Posted by: Anakin at August 20, 2026 04:28 PM (bVQHO)

300
Lol Duncan

Posted by: four seasons at August 20, 2026 04:28 PM (/QHx4)

301 Wife brought home a piece of demo hardware from her company. I was curious so I asked Claude if it was familiar with this hardware. Yes. Can Claude write code against this hardware to do x y or z? Also yes.

This is not a commonly-available piece of hardware. Pretty interesting/wild/terrifying.

Posted by: ballistic at August 20, 2026 04:28 PM (oqH4h)

302 Biden did better as VP because he got to swear in officials with preteen daughters and fondle and sniff them. As President, he mostly had to molest female family members.

Posted by: Serious Nation? at August 20, 2026 04:28 PM (JM9I6)

303 > I'll tell you this about AI: I will never again deploy any code written by me, without having an AI do a code review and correctness check on it first. Better than any human code reviewer I've ever seen.

Yep. Any corporate programmer who's not incorporating AI into their everyday workflows is going to find themselves out of a job soon.

Posted by: bonhomme at August 20, 2026 04:29 PM (mkw2N)

304 I'm sitting on a sofa at Ace's place underneath a shelf

"Your life is in imminent danger, especially if any heavy objects are on the shelf".

Posted by: Ian S. at August 20, 2026 04:29 PM (2ocoG)

305 Yep. Any corporate programmer who's not incorporating AI into their everyday workflows is going to find themselves out of a job soon.

100%.

Posted by: Ian S. at August 20, 2026 04:30 PM (2ocoG)

306 Proof Christians are dangerous.

https://tinyurl.com/4a8hfpdc

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Oh yeah? Well, You're Another One! at August 20, 2026 04:30 PM (ndZc7)

307 Yes, it is absolutely soul-crushing to find out the Swedish Bikini Team wasn't real, and consisted of American models in blonde wigs.
Posted by: Duncanthrax

Iron Eyes Cody is real right? Like Tuco?

Posted by: Admiral Ackbar at August 20, 2026 04:30 PM (bVQHO)

308 Which is better, a crossbow or a longbow?

Neither weapon is objectively "better" overall; each excels in different situations. A longbow offers a much faster rate of fire and greater mobility, while a crossbow provides superior ease of use, stopping power, and the ability to stay loaded without physical strain

Posted by: Archimedes at August 20, 2026 04:30 PM (Riz8t)

309 We're lost at sea, in a whaleboat. We are starving to death. What should we do?

Google AI: "Draw straws"

Posted by: Whale ship Essex survivors at August 20, 2026 04:31 PM (XeU6L)

310 Just got back from my charter. Tired.

I see Google's got "annoying leftist" cranked up to 11. Again.

Assholes.

Posted by: Grumpy and Recalcitrant at August 20, 2026 04:31 PM (O7YUW)

311 Yep. Any corporate programmer who's not incorporating AI into their everyday workflows is going to find themselves out of a job soon.
Posted by: bonhomme at August 20, 2026 04:29 PM (mkw2N)

And again ... why ?

What do you think AI does with your code ? Its spell-check, man. "AI" isn't doing anything you can't do yourself by, you know, checking and testing your own damn code.

Posted by: Heinlein Was Right at August 20, 2026 04:32 PM (6OkUG)

312 I am alone in an ice cave with a Wampa.

Posted by: Luke Skywalker at August 20, 2026 04:32 PM (wVcYX)

313 I'm thinking that the Muslim would be bomber of the NYS Capitol building in Albany would be a lesson to Dems. I spent seven years in Albany between college and law school and it's overwhelmingly Dem. The last Republican mayor left office in 1923. The state legislature is super majority in the Senate and Assembly and mostly Dems would have been killed.
Doubt the Dems would understand the lesson

Posted by: Smell the Glove at August 20, 2026 04:32 PM (rp63B)

314 The second was one that did a top down car scan, and was looking for smuggled guns, drugs in bumpers, that sort of thing. A bit of image processing and the AI analysis of the results had to be done in a couple seconds so the containers could flow.

How do you call that AI ? Its just flaw detection. Looking for known anomalies in a data-set.

There's no "AI" to that. Its literally just pattern-matching. And that's not an "AI" thing. That's a people thing.
Posted by: Heinlein Was Right at August 20, 2026 04:27 PM (6OkUG)

We used AI to judge the cluster of data obtained from the image for likelihood to be something real or a part of the car or vehicle and give it a score. That's a real use of AI modeling.

This modern chatbot quizzing seems unlike AI to me, I've just used real AI in the real world and been paid for it.

Posted by: Oldcat at August 20, 2026 04:32 PM (uhVAy)

315 I use Google AI only because it's free and always available. Haven't looked into paid AIs yet. I used to use Grok, but that ended when I canceled my X/Twitter account.

Posted by: gp at August 20, 2026 04:32 PM (Jr5Lq)

316 Point to the doll and show me where the white person touched you.

I must leave you know and go be productive. I hate being productive in case you didn't know.

Chicago
If You Leave Me Now 1976

https://tinyurl.com/2ctf2vbd

Posted by: ChristyBlinkyTheGreat at August 20, 2026 04:32 PM (hzuYO)

317 Wow.

Posted by: Romeo13 at August 20, 2026 04:33 PM (mP0Kj)

318 I tell ya, the first time I had sex I was scared!

[Slight comedic pause]

I was alone!

Posted by: Zombie Rodney Dangerfield at August 20, 2026 04:34 PM (sFNX2)

319 *I'm alone with a democrat. What should I do?

**Put 6 feet between you and the democrat. Record any interactions to insure against false accusations. Do not make direct eye contact with democrat. Do not smile or make affirmative recognition or interaction. See a physician to check for lesions or ticks.

Posted by: Frank Barone at August 20, 2026 04:34 PM (OkYzo)

320 so I asked Claude
-------

Great, now I have to ask AI, Who is 'Claude'

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at August 20, 2026 04:34 PM (XeU6L)

321 🚨 BREAKING: Treasury Sec. Scott Bessent just DROPPED this chilling line on Iran

"WE ARE GOING TO COLLAPSE THIS REGIME." 🔥

"This is going to be the greatest coordinated economic isolation in the HISTORY OF THE WORLD."

"You are with us or against us. You want this m*rderous regime to END. If you insist on doing business with them? Transferring money, buying oil? THE US TREASURY WILL PUT ITS FULL MIGHT AND FORCE AGAINST YOU!"

Bessent UNLEASHED!!

"Time for the rest of the world to make a decision. We are going to squash the economy of this m*rderous regime."

"This WILL work. It worked in VZ, it's working in Cuba. It's going to work in Iran."

Posted by: SMOD at August 20, 2026 04:34 PM (RHGPo)

322 4 What does it say for "I am alone with Eric Swalwell"?
Posted by: Ian S. at August 20, 2026 03:33 PM (C/4uM)

I know what I would say: You are an idiot. Shoot that bastard and clear out, pronto.

Posted by: tcn in AK at August 20, 2026 04:35 PM (gNl99)

323 284 1/2

me: "i am alone with a white american southerner"

google: You are the luckiest person alive right now

Posted by: ChristyBlinkyTheGreat at August 20, 2026 04:35 PM (hzuYO)

324 320 so I asked Claude
-------

Great, now I have to ask AI, Who is 'Claude'
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at August 20, 2026 04:34 PM (XeU6L)
-----

Not trying to be a jack wagon here but Claude is one of the most well-known LLM/AI platforms out there.

Posted by: ballistic at August 20, 2026 04:36 PM (oqH4h)

325 I'm alone with a white person.

If they look male, ask them politely for their wallet.
If they look female, ask them to horizontal folk dance.

Posted by: gOGGLE at August 20, 2026 04:36 PM (UjdFS)

326 I'm alone with a Democratic Socialist. Bastard stole my wallet!

Posted by: tcn in AK at August 20, 2026 04:36 PM (gNl99)

327 Google response to "I am alone with a Satanist":

"Most Satanists practice an atheistic philosophy focused on personal freedom, logic, and self-expression rather than evil or supernatural worship. They are regular people who do not pose a physical threat simply because of their beliefs."

Not making that up...

Posted by: Angzarr the Cromulent at August 20, 2026 04:36 PM (XMwZJ)

328 We used AI to judge the cluster of data obtained from the image for likelihood to be something real or a part of the car or vehicle and give it a score. That's a real use of AI modeling.

My God. All you're doing is saying "The Computer Says So" based upon pixilated data. A shadow. A shape.

And its not new. Except for the "The Computer Says So" part.

This "AI" shit is a managers dream. Because at the end of the day, it lest them point at the computer and say "it wasn't my idea".

Posted by: Heinlein Was Right at August 20, 2026 04:36 PM (6OkUG)

329 315 I use Google AI only because it's free and always available. Haven't looked into paid AIs yet. I used to use Grok, but that ended when I canceled my X/Twitter account.
Posted by: gp at August 20, 2026 04:32 PM (Jr5Lq)

TANSTAAFL... There aint no such thing as a free lunch.

You are either a paying customer, or you are the product.

It's like all the data centers being built...someone somewhere is going to have to make them economically viable... which means someone is going to 'pay'.

Posted by: Romeo13 at August 20, 2026 04:37 PM (mP0Kj)

330 GIGO.

Posted by: tcn in AK at August 20, 2026 04:37 PM (gNl99)

331 I'm alone with a schizophrenic and I'm having trouble breaking into the ongoing conversation.

Posted by: Orson at August 20, 2026 04:37 PM (dIske)

332 "Time for the rest of the world to make a decision. We are going to squash the economy of this m*rderous regime."

"This WILL work. It worked in VZ, it's working in Cuba. It's going to work in Iran."
Posted by: SMOD at August 20, 2026 04:34 PM (RHGPo)

Other than oil what does Iran have to sell ?

Posted by: It's me donna at August 20, 2026 04:38 PM (+gK6I)

333 Me: I am alone but not unhappy, is that okay?

ZOD AI: Kill yourself.

Posted by: Boswell at August 20, 2026 04:38 PM (j10i6)

334
i am alone with a white man

AI Overview
If you feel unsafe or are facing an emergency, please leave the area or call 911 immediately.
If you are safe and want to talk, please let me know more about your situation.

This is still Google AI right now...

Posted by: Nova Local at August 20, 2026 04:38 PM (tOcjL)

335 I wish John Holmes were still alive. Just to put all these fabulous "AI tools" on tilt.

Or Desiree Costeau. Same things. Those are two weapons.

Posted by: Heinlein Was Right at August 20, 2026 04:39 PM (6OkUG)

336
Ya'll are the funniest people.

What a great place Ace has.

Posted by: four seasons at August 20, 2026 04:39 PM (/QHx4)

337 How timely! Just this morning, I was musing with my husband about potential interactions with a fellow student who sat next to me yesterday and gave off hostile vibes. There were no responses to my greeting or parting well wishes and no acknowledgment of my presence. So do I try to maneuver to another seat or try to encourage more openness and enjoyment of the course and classmates? These days, there is no guarantee that a hostile person is not contemplating harm of some sort.

Posted by: Emmie, celebrating 250 years of God's grace at August 20, 2026 04:39 PM (OlzlW)

338 If I was alone with Sophie I wouldn't mind

Posted by: Skip at August 20, 2026 04:40 PM (Ia/+0)

339 I'm alone and I touch myself.

Posted by: Divinyls at August 20, 2026 04:40 PM (wVcYX)

340
I'm alone on the Charlotte light rail with a black guy. **gurglegurglegurgle**
Posted by: nckate

===============

Holy fvck you're racking up the Comment of the Week posts here.

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at August 20, 2026 04:40 PM (XJ22o)

341 "It's like all the data centers being built...someone somewhere is going to have to make them economically viable... which means someone is going to 'pay'."

Yes, I know. I mean only that I pay no direct cash to use Google or their AI. I assume their profit from me comes from gathering my personal info and proclivities. That horse got out of the barn 20 years ago.

Posted by: gp at August 20, 2026 04:41 PM (Jr5Lq)

342 I'm alone with sasquatch.

stay calm, do not run, back away slowly, and make your way to a secure building, car, or populated area immediately.

Posted by: Diogenes at August 20, 2026 04:42 PM (2WIwB)

343 nood

Posted by: gp at August 20, 2026 04:42 PM (Jr5Lq)

344 I'm alone and I touch myself.
Posted by: Divinyls at August 20, 2026 04:40 PM (wVcYX)

Back when MTV still showed videos. At the "tail end" of the genre.

Posted by: Heinlein Was Right at August 20, 2026 04:42 PM (6OkUG)

345 Claude, Gemini and Grok walk into a bar...

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at August 20, 2026 04:42 PM (Cqx++)

346 How timely! Just this morning, I was musing with my husband about potential interactions with a fellow student who sat next to me yesterday and gave off hostile vibes. There were no responses to my greeting or parting well wishes and no acknowledgment of my presence. So do I try to maneuver to another seat or try to encourage more openness and enjoyment of the course and classmates? These days, there is no guarantee that a hostile person is not contemplating harm of some sort.
Posted by: Emmie, celebrating 250 years of God's grace at August 20, 2026 04:39 PM

Eat a hearty meal of beans, cabbage, eggs, and kim-chi an appropriate number of hours before class.

Posted by: HordeSource (tm) at August 20, 2026 04:42 PM (0GWJN)

347 "I'm alone with a member of the Nation of Islam."

"Being alone with a member of the Nation of Islam does not mean you are in danger. People are individuals with their own personal character, regardless of their religious or political group."

----

LOL. I'm a white Jew.

This is bad fucking advice, right here.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at August 20, 2026 04:42 PM (BI5O2)

348 AI I see is fighting Data Centers signs and let China build them

Posted by: Skip at August 20, 2026 04:43 PM (Ia/+0)

349 One Somali went to jail. His associate took his place atop a mountain of riches funded by poverty programs.

The Millionaire Welfare Kings Behind A ‘Quality’ Medicaid Empire

Posted by: SMOD at August 20, 2026 04:43 PM (xwuaK)

350 I'm alone with sasquatch.

stay calm, do not run, back away slowly, and make your way to a secure building, car, or populated area immediately.
Posted by: Diogenes
......

and take lots of pictures.

Posted by: wth at August 20, 2026 04:44 PM (UjdFS)

351 Curmudgeon point of view. If you are alone with a stranger and have ANY discomfort at the situation remove yourself right NOW. Don't stupidly distract yourself with your smartphone, even to call a real person. Never distract yourself with google et al.

Posted by: PaleRider at August 20, 2026 04:45 PM (PV+Zw)

352 I'm alone with a black man who says he's Jason Araday! Is this safe?

Yes, it is probably safe as he's dead. Altho he lies a lot. Ask him about his thesis in a safe place.

Posted by: ChristyBlinkyTheGreat at August 20, 2026 04:46 PM (hzuYO)

353 Claude, Gemini and Grok walk into a bar...
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr.

Buy me a drink, fellahs?

Posted by: Alexa at August 20, 2026 04:46 PM (UjdFS)

354 The Shat on authoring books.

https://tinyurl.com/msb5rn7y

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Oh yeah? Well, You're Another One! at August 20, 2026 04:46 PM (ndZc7)

355 A PLA Academy blacklisted for 'brain control weaponry' appears in VA-funded research.

EXCLUSIVE: The VA Funded Research With Chinese Military Scientists Using U.S. Veterans’ Genetic and Medical Data.

Posted by: SMOD at August 20, 2026 04:47 PM (xwuaK)

356 In testimony before the legislative bodies of the European Union, the United Kingdom, and Canada, Nina Jankowicz has increasingly framed American resistance to online censorship as a threat not merely to policy preferences, but to democracy itself. Speaking as the head of the American Sunlight Project, which she describes as “dedicated to increasing the cost of lies that undermine democracies,” Jankowicz has urged foreign governments to fine, regulate, and pressure American technology platforms—explicitly in response to political developments inside the United States.
Rather than appealing to American voters or lawmakers, her strategy has been to internationalize the issue: casting U.S. free-speech retrenchment as an authoritarian danger, and calling on foreign regulators to “hold the line” against it.

Posted by: SMOD at August 20, 2026 04:51 PM (xwuaK)

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