Robotic Centaur Cafe

Northumberland
@JimScottPhoto

I can smell your filthy cowardice.

Poor dog doesn't know what to make of this cat.

Dog and stray cat have street beef but it's all cool.

Excavator rescue.

Cat plays with window washer.

Mama goat kisses her baby.

It's true -- Penguins are evil, especially the babies.

I didn't come here for an argument... let's go over there and have an argument.

Very beautiful pregnant Cheetah searches for a shady spot after being overwhelmed by the heat. pic.twitter.com/CpzkK4U0o2
— The Figen (@TheFigen_) July 29, 2026

U.S. company Satyress is developing threehalves, a centaur-style robot designed for dangerous environments such as wildfires, rubble searches, toxic areas and confined spaces. The system combines a humanoid upper body with a quadruped mobility platform. #USA #Robotics #UGV #AI pic.twitter.com/ViPprQ1lrZ
— Drone Wars (@Drone_Wars_) July 28, 2026

You will live to see man-made horrors beyond your comprehension https://t.co/eJWcasQpTi pic.twitter.com/pMUDlikDCe
— ♡ 𝙱𝚎𝚎 ♡ (@Benedicta_Bee) July 30, 2026

Is this a joke? It's possible it's a joke.

I think this next one's a joke.

I hope it is, anyway.

🚨 California startup Satyress unveils a 2 meter-tall arachnid robot designed to care for young children and the elderly. pic.twitter.com/7B2E5zCMqh
— Centrist Peater (@centristpeater) July 30, 2026

Posted by: Disinformation Expert Ace at 07:15 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Thanks ace and Happy Birthday, it's me donna

Posted by: ... at July 30, 2026 07:16 PM (vE0+H)

2 It's true -- Penguins are evil, especially the babies.

===

NO! they are just looking for food!

Posted by: runner at July 30, 2026 07:16 PM (g47mK)

3 1st!

Posted by: CTHillary, dead but dreaming at July 30, 2026 07:16 PM (GMWTj)

4 I don't like cheetahs.

Posted by: runner at July 30, 2026 07:17 PM (g47mK)

5 Nooded.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at July 30, 2026 07:18 PM (u82oZ)

6 That last pic is PURE NIGHTMARE FUEL!

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at July 30, 2026 07:19 PM (FZ29D)

7 I didn't come here for an argument... let's go over there and have an argument.
----
Kaylee the Calico Kitty Cat (the cutest little cat of them all) and Chloe the Bengal Kitty had a knock-down drag-out fight in my hallway this afternoon.

Fur was flying everywhere.

Everyone seems OK, though, and I didn't detect any injuries.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at July 30, 2026 07:21 PM (FZ29D)

8 >>🚨 California startup Satyress unveils a 2 meter-tall arachnid robot designed to care for young children and the elderly.

What a great idea. Where can invest in this can't miss product?

Posted by: JackStraw at July 30, 2026 07:22 PM (viF8m)

9 Satyress sounds like they started with a design they wanted to do and then figured out justifications later. Someone at the top probably has a fetish for goats and centaurs.

I hope the drider is AI. But...

Posted by: RandomDave (if you can spare a bit, please click) at July 30, 2026 07:24 PM (aJQbY)

10 I am surprised they did not give the centaur a giant schlong. (For certain customers.)

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at July 30, 2026 07:24 PM (zZu0s)

11 I got willowed.

"Don't forget, there are people that got a Fauci tattoo
Posted by: Notsothoreau"

It's pretty easy to convert it to a Jimothy one.

Posted by: fd at July 30, 2026 07:24 PM (MWfyi)

12 California startup Satyress unveils a 2 meter-tall arachnid robot designed to care for young children and the elderly.

What a great idea. Where can invest in this can't miss product?
Posted by: JackStraw at July 30, 2026 07:22 PM (viF8m)

Her name: Ungoliant.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Bonafide Gen X at July 30, 2026 07:25 PM (0aYVJ)

13
That company is real. The name Saytress = Female saytr?

This I think is a classic publicity stunt to get attention and investment most likely. This frightening visage is the way to really get attention.

But still, it's got to be some sick fucks there that think this stuff up.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at July 30, 2026 07:25 PM (w6EFb)

14 What a great idea. Where can invest in this can't miss product?
Posted by: JackStraw at July 30, 2026 07:22 PM (viF8m)

The AoS sales contact would be AlexTheChick.

Posted by: I am the Shadout Mapes, the Housekeeper at July 30, 2026 07:25 PM (brIJB)

15 Pug -

Or perhaps, Lloth

Posted by: RandomDave (if you can spare a bit, please click) at July 30, 2026 07:25 PM (aJQbY)

16 Hamas is done. Thank you, PDT for stepping up and taking out the IRGC.

Posted by: Ben Had at July 30, 2026 07:26 PM (abScH)

17 I need that excavator to scoop me out of my bed each morning instead of an alarm clock.

Posted by: bob (moron inbobnitus) at July 30, 2026 07:26 PM (r+DqQ)

18 Ben Had - ??? news?

Posted by: RandomDave (if you can spare a bit, please click) at July 30, 2026 07:26 PM (aJQbY)

19 I hope those things aint bulletproof.

Posted by: fd at July 30, 2026 07:27 PM (MWfyi)

20 My 17 year old cat, Chloe, is a little deaf and she tends to start yowling that she is to be fed at 6pm about two hours early.
She is now telling me that it merely one and a half hours to six and is being quite insistent about it.

Posted by: Kindltot at July 30, 2026 07:27 PM (rbvCR)

21
It's pretty easy to convert it to a Jimothy one.
Posted by: fd at July 30, 2026 07:24 PM (MWfyi)
***********
Laughs.

I am currently debating which I'd freak out for the most: barbarians or robots invading. It's a toss up after I saw the spider one.

Posted by: ChristyBlinkyTheGreat at July 30, 2026 07:28 PM (hzuYO)

22 I am surprised they did not give the centaur a giant schlong. (For certain customers.)
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at July 30, 2026 07:24 PM (zZu0s)

It'd be extendable, retractable, detachable!

Posted by: Jackie Chiles, Esq. at July 30, 2026 07:28 PM (wVcYX)

23 Me: Hey Grandma. We found a new rest home for you. Saytress Acres.

Grandma: WTF!!!???

Posted by: Diogenes at July 30, 2026 07:28 PM (2WIwB)

24 Rosie the Riveter died today. 100. RIP.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at July 30, 2026 07:29 PM (oHCVF)

25 He did so because he was planning to write a book and collect even more
Posted by: ShainS at July 30, 2026 07:23 PM (Vq0ul)

Damn

Posted by: ... at July 30, 2026 07:29 PM (vE0+H)

26
Just tell your elderly parents that if they fail to stay healthy and independent, you will summon the Spider of Assistance.

Posted by: Blonde Morticia's Phone at July 30, 2026 07:29 PM (mmrXZ)

27 RandomDave, hamas is agreeing to be disarmed of both light and heavy weapons, destroying all tunnel and weapons production sites and no governing role in gaza.

Posted by: Ben Had at July 30, 2026 07:30 PM (abScH)

28 RandomDave

Board of Peace has reached agreement on ‘complete disarmament’ of Hamas

Posted by: NaCly Dog at July 30, 2026 07:30 PM (u82oZ)

29 Her name: Ungoliant.
Posted by: Pug Mahon, Bonafide Gen X at July 30, 2026 07:25 PM (0aYVJ)

Designed by Anduril or Palantir?

Posted by: the Torment Nexus at July 30, 2026 07:30 PM (gKWVE)

30 I am currently debating which I'd freak out for the most: barbarians or robots invading. It's a toss up after I saw the spider one.
Posted by: ChristyBlinkyTheGreat at July 30, 2026 07:28 PM (hzuYO)
----
I find inhuman spider-bots infinitely more terrifying than human barbarians.

They remind me of the "replicators" from Stargate SG-1, which disassembled all matter they came across to create new forms of themselves.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at July 30, 2026 07:31 PM (FZ29D)

31 hamas is agreeing to be disarmed of both light and heavy weapons, destroying all tunnel and weapons production sites and no governing role in gaza.
Posted by: Ben Had at July 30, 2026 07:30 PM (abScH)

Are we... are we winning?

Posted by: gKWVE at July 30, 2026 07:31 PM (gKWVE)

32 RandomDave, hamas is agreeing to be disarmed of both light and heavy weapons, destroying all tunnel and weapons production sites and no governing role in gaza.
Posted by: Ben Had

And when Israelis get attacked, it'll be the NotHamas that did it, not us! Swearsies!

Posted by: MyK at July 30, 2026 07:31 PM (q6tQZ)

33
New washer installed today! Now the dryer won't heat.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at July 30, 2026 07:31 PM (O0L8i)

34 gKWVE

Not yet, But maybe soon. Nothing like living in a pile of rubble to make you want to change.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at July 30, 2026 07:32 PM (u82oZ)

35 Olay olay cafay

Posted by: vmom deport deport deport at July 30, 2026 07:33 PM (eZ5tL)

36 33
New washer installed today! Now the dryer won't heat.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at July 30, 2026 07:31 PM (O0L8i)

Collusion!

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at July 30, 2026 07:33 PM (VyBeY)

37 New washer installed today! Now the dryer won't heat.
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh

I'm a myth

Posted by: Well planned obsolescence at July 30, 2026 07:33 PM (q6tQZ)

38 New washer installed today! Now the dryer won't heat.
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at July 30, 2026 07:31 PM (O0L8i)

he dryer got jealous of all the attention the washer was getting. Jealousy runs rampant among household appliances.

Posted by: Count de Monet at July 30, 2026 07:33 PM (wVcYX)

39 >>Her name: Ungoliant.

I would've gone with Shelob.

Posted by: JackStraw at July 30, 2026 07:33 PM (viF8m)

40 hamas is agreeing to be disarmed of both light and heavy weapons, destroying all tunnel and weapons production sites and no governing role in gaza.
Posted by: Ben Had at July 30, 2026 07:30 PM (abScH)

Are we... are we winning?
Posted by: gKWVE

Why won't reality listen to me?

Posted by: The guy who swears nothing will happen at July 30, 2026 07:34 PM (aJQbY)

41 NaCly, more like not having any money and weapons support from the IRGC.

Posted by: Ben Had at July 30, 2026 07:34 PM (abScH)

42 Aww, Ungoliant is a sweetie as long as she's not hungry.
Would I lie?

Posted by: Melkor at July 30, 2026 07:35 PM (gKWVE)

43 {{{Ben Had}}}

That too. But I put my bet on women nagging the Hamas members.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at July 30, 2026 07:35 PM (u82oZ)

44 I checked this morning - that Satyress robot compsny us run by dot Indians
Hindus are weird, man

Posted by: vmom deport deport deport at July 30, 2026 07:35 PM (znREB)

45 FWIW: https://www.satyress.com/

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at July 30, 2026 07:36 PM (XeU6L)

46 Ungoliant is a most unfortunate name.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at July 30, 2026 07:36 PM (u82oZ)

47 hamas is agreeing to be disarmed of both light and heavy weapons, destroying all tunnel and weapons production sites and no governing role in gaza.
Posted by: Ben Had

While my cynical side says, "ah, so, totally-not-Hamas will take possession of everything and 'destroy' it (but amazingly identical equipment will show up a week later)", hope is a heck of a drug. Please, God, let there be real progress here.

Posted by: RandomDave (if you can spare a bit, please click) at July 30, 2026 07:37 PM (aJQbY)

48
I'm a myth

Posted by: Well planned obsolescence at July 30, 2026 07:33 PM (q6tQZ)

____________

These are the washer and dryer we use for dog laundry (blankets, mats, towels, etc.). They've been worked hard for many, many years, so it's not too much of a surprise.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at July 30, 2026 07:37 PM (O0L8i)

49 Believe it or not, there are friendly giant spiders in literature. Even heroic ones.

I can think of two off the top of my head.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at July 30, 2026 07:38 PM (FZ29D)

50 Good evening everyone
Was watching Fritz Lang's Der Nibelungen on YouTube
Its a long movie

Posted by: Skip at July 30, 2026 07:38 PM (Ia/+0)

51 This is not the most comforting and relaxing of Cafes, ace.

Nightmare fuel generally isn't.

Just sayin'.

Posted by: SMH at God's mercy at July 30, 2026 07:39 PM (paeOl)

52 27 RandomDave, hamas is agreeing to be disarmed of both light and heavy weapons, destroying all tunnel and weapons production sites and no governing role in gaza.
Posted by: Ben Had at July 30, 2026 07:30 PM (abScH)

Wow! Thanks for keeping your ear to the ground, Ben Had!

That's great news, but I'm not breaking out the champagne just yet. Gotta see more than talk. But talk is a good start!

Posted by: Emmie at July 30, 2026 07:39 PM (OlzlW)

53
RandomDave, how goes it?

Posted by: Blonde Morticia's Phone at July 30, 2026 07:39 PM (mmrXZ)

54 I just realized I did not know what happened to Ungoliant after she and Morgoth killed the Two Trees. So I looked it up. She may have ate herself.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at July 30, 2026 07:39 PM (zZu0s)

55 Random Dave, the Israelis are taking control of the weapons.

Posted by: Ben Had at July 30, 2026 07:39 PM (abScH)

56 Her name: Ungoliant.

I would've gone with Shelob.
Posted by: JackStraw at July 30, 2026 07:33 PM (viF8m)

My first thought, but I wanted to illustrate just how nerdy I am about Tolkien.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Bonafide Gen X at July 30, 2026 07:40 PM (0aYVJ)

57 Wait I'm wrong
That's a different robotics compsny

Posted by: vmom deport deport deport at July 30, 2026 07:40 PM (znREB)

58
"Don't forget, there are people that got a Fauci tattoo
Posted by: Notsothoreau"

I don't know who that is on the right or the left but the one in the middle is Fauci.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at July 30, 2026 07:41 PM (Cqx++)

59 These are the washer and dryer we use for dog laundry (blankets, mats, towels, etc.). They've been worked hard for many, many years, so it's not too much of a surprise.
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh

Should have purchased a marching set.

Posted by: Tuna at July 30, 2026 07:41 PM (lJ0H4)

60 Emmie, they have been talking for a good long while and this is the talks coming to fruition. This is sign on the dotted line time.

Posted by: Ben Had at July 30, 2026 07:41 PM (abScH)

61 I'm just glad Democrats got rid of that Platner freak and got a normal person for a senate candidate in Maine.

Wait..

>>@TheMaineWire

>>RELATIVE ATTRACTION: We can confirm that Troy Jackson and his longtime partner are second cousins.

>>They have two children together

Posted by: JackStraw at July 30, 2026 07:42 PM (viF8m)

62 Tuna

A marching set. Is that for wives to sit on while it is running?

Posted by: NaCly Dog at July 30, 2026 07:42 PM (u82oZ)

63 Hadrian, string a clothesline.

Posted by: Ben Had at July 30, 2026 07:43 PM (abScH)

64 Marching=matching. Stupid auto cucumber

Posted by: Tuna at July 30, 2026 07:43 PM (lJ0H4)

65
Ungoliant is a most unfortunate name.
Posted by: NaCly Dog

Isn't that some medicated goo for skin sores?

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at July 30, 2026 07:43 PM (Cqx++)

66 I feel like satyress is likely to be a joke, but some one got the https://www.satyress.com/ domain and made a web site, so a pretty in depth joke.

They 'advertise' it as controlled with a joystick by the logger etc who buys it.

Posted by: PaleRider at July 30, 2026 07:44 PM (PV+Zw)

67 I'm imagining that arachno-bot weaving a baby into swaddling webs, attaching it to a wall, and singing German lullabies to it.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at July 30, 2026 07:44 PM (kpS4V)

68 I don't know who that is on the right or the left but the one in the middle is Fauci.

That joke sucks !!!

Posted by: Willie Nelson at July 30, 2026 07:44 PM (LTPTz)

69 New washer installed today! Now the dryer won't heat.
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh

====

It might be a second washer.

Or - the installers didn't turn on the gas, or flip the breaker back on.

The appliance installer community is not the sharpest community.

Posted by: 2009Refugee at July 30, 2026 07:46 PM (4HoLg)

70 Happy birthday Donna!

Posted by: JohnFNotKerry at July 30, 2026 07:46 PM (B2pWp)

71 Do not take Ungoliant if you are allergic to Ungoliant.

Posted by: I am the Shadout Mapes, the Housekeeper at July 30, 2026 07:46 PM (brIJB)

72 U.S. company Satyress is developing threehalves, [of a satanic gimmic]
--
We'd like to have a word with you
_Boston Dynamics

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at July 30, 2026 07:47 PM (826kS)

73 Not the Bee: Anal Greese betting on her own game.

WNBA posts – then deletes – video of Angel Reese gambling on her own game

Just more proof that the WNBA isn't a real sports league!

It's in direct violation of the WNBA's league rules, and they posted it on the WNBA's social media!
(This explains why Angel's been missing all those buckets, right?)
You see, in real sports leagues like the NBA, NFL, and MLB, gambling on your own game could get you banned from the league, or at the very least suspended. It's the cardinal sin of sports.
Just ask Pete Rose.

If Caitlin Clark were in this video, it would break the internet and lead network news stations. Sophie Cunningham would cause riots.
Angel Reese does it? Paige Bueckers?
It's not even in the WNBA's top headlines on ESPN this morning.

https://tinyurl.com/5xjc5w99

Posted by: rickb223 at July 30, 2026 07:48 PM (0W2r0)

74 >>RELATIVE ATTRACTION: We can confirm that Troy Jackson and his longtime partner are second cousins.
-------

Democrats REALLY love their family

Posted by: ... at July 30, 2026 07:48 PM (vE0+H)

75
The (now) monthly issue of Chemical & Engineering News arrived today. The global top 50 chemical producers spend less than 2% of sales on R&D. But hey, the ACS is starting a committee on LGBTQ+ chemists to go with its women's and black ones.

I've been a member for 47 years and stay for the 25 free SciFinder searches.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at July 30, 2026 07:48 PM (O0L8i)

76 Perfessor, Jumper the spider comes to mind offhand, who else ya got?

Blonde Morticia - goes well, I think. I got word yesterday that my 2nd interview went as well as I hoped, so the client interview is next... whenever that happens. No word today, so in the morning I'll send an email asking for status and giving my availability, and if I don't hear anything back by mid-afternoon I'll make a phone call.

Posted by: RandomDave (if you can spare a bit, please click) at July 30, 2026 07:49 PM (aJQbY)

77 Have you guys noticed that AI never responds to a question with "I don't know"?

Posted by: Orson at July 30, 2026 07:50 PM (dIske)

78 It's not about food. Remove the humourous music and the Sphenisciform video grimly portrays the ingrained pursuit of polymorphic perversity present even in juvenile penguins.

Posted by: Penguin Facts at July 30, 2026 07:50 PM (MWfyi)

79 The appliance installer community is not the sharpest community.

Posted by: 2009Refugee at July 30, 2026 07:46 PM (4HoLg)
----
No, no they are not.

I got a new stove at the beginning of the year. When the first crew installed it, they stripped the screws holding the electrical leads in place, so the stove wouldn't work fully.

I had to do it myself after I returned the first stove and got a second replacement stove.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at July 30, 2026 07:51 PM (FZ29D)

80 61 I'm just glad Democrats got rid of that Platner freak and got a normal person for a senate candidate in Maine.

Wait..

>>@TheMaineWire

>>RELATIVE ATTRACTION: We can confirm that Troy Jackson and his longtime partner are second cousins.

>>They have two children together
Posted by: JackStraw

I'm impressed in the ability of the Democrats to keep finding a new depth of political depravity and then running it for office. (golf clap)

Posted by: Puddleglum at work at July 30, 2026 07:52 PM (BW+Gb)

81 75
The (now) monthly issue of Chemical & Engineering News arrived today. The global top 50 chemical producers spend less than 2% of sales on R&D. But hey, the ACS is starting a committee on LGBTQ+ chemists to go with its women's and black ones.

I've been a member for 47 years and stay for the 25 free SciFinder searches.
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at July 30, 2026 07:48 PM (O0L8i)

What kind of islamophobic society is that?

Posted by: Stateless - Keeping 15 year old Ralphy happy and alive. He's a puppy at heart. at July 30, 2026 07:52 PM (Sco7b)

82 >>I'm imagining that arachno-bot weaving a baby into swaddling webs, attaching it to a wall, and singing German lullabies to it.

Quit picking on my people.

I remember telling my mom not to read me German folk stories. "I'd like to try and get some sleep tonight mom.".

Posted by: JackStraw at July 30, 2026 07:52 PM (viF8m)

83 67 I'm imagining that arachno-bot weaving a baby into swaddling webs, attaching it to a wall, and singing German lullabies to it.
Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at July 30, 2026 07:44 PM (kpS4V)

I'll never sleep again.

Posted by: Dash my lace wigs! at July 30, 2026 07:53 PM (zYpTz)

84 runner: "I don't like cheetahs."

I love 'em except for that orange powder residue.

Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel at July 30, 2026 07:53 PM (oji8u)

85 These are the washer and dryer we use for dog laundry (blankets, mats, towels, etc.). They've been worked hard for many, many years, so it's not too much of a surprise.
———

We had a snap surprise formation in front of the barracks one day in AIT. Nobody knew what it was for. We stood at parade rest or whatever for quite some time. Occasionally we’d hear shouts and loud metallic bangs from inside the barracks. After some time the 1st sergeant appeared, a short statured individual who was really wound up. He threw one of the laundry room washers at our general direction off the front porch deal. Impressive. Boy he was pissed!

Turns out, army sleeping bags, rucks, boots, and all that shit will ruin a washer or dryer. Who knew, right? Well … everyone did. I thought he was gonna have a stroke

Posted by: Common Tater at July 30, 2026 07:54 PM (oJxaF)

86 runner: "I don't like cheetahs."

I love 'em except for that orange powder residue.
Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel

ISWYDT.

Posted by: rickb223 at July 30, 2026 07:54 PM (0W2r0)

87 Satyress; Save your money, they don't have a video of a working model. Musk has been hiring engineers, explicitly, to work on hands for his robots. They are the most complicated things to reproduce.

Every Chinese robot, and they are heavily invested, attacks humans, either its builders or bystanders. There's video of one kicking a kid in the jewelry box.

Yeah, if it's real, it's still got a long, long way to go.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at July 30, 2026 07:54 PM (826kS)

88 @61 JackStraw, someone said this is how the Dems think they'll take back the South.
Seriously, are there any normal Dems in Maine?

Posted by: Smell the Glove at July 30, 2026 07:55 PM (BlDDt)

89 Perfessor, Jumper the spider comes to mind offhand, who else ya got?

Posted by: RandomDave (if you can spare a bit, please click) at July 30, 2026 07:49 PM (aJQbY)
---
The two friendly giant spiders that immediately came to my mind are:

Shriek -- from Philip Jose Farmer's "The Dungeon" series. She's eight feet tall, covered in poison-tipped hairs, and telepathic. She's also a loyal companion and friend, sacrificing herself at the end so that the main character can continue his journey. Awesome character.

Krek -- from Robert E. Vardeman's "Cenotaph Road." He's a male giant spider who is also quite heroic and friendly towards the main protagonist. Not as cool as Shriek, but still entertaining.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at July 30, 2026 07:55 PM (FZ29D)

90 Perfessor, Jumper the spider comes to mind offhand, who else ya got?

Posted by: RandomDave (if you can spare a bit, please click) at July 30, 2026 07:49 PM (aJQbY)
---
The two friendly giant spiders that immediately came to my mind are:

Shriek -- from Philip Jose Farmer's "The Dungeon" series. She's eight feet tall, covered in poison-tipped hairs, and telepathic. She's also a loyal companion and friend, sacrificing herself at the end so that the main character can continue his journey. Awesome character.

Krek -- from Robert E. Vardeman's "Cenotaph Road." He's a male giant spider who is also quite heroic and friendly towards the main protagonist. Not as cool as Shriek, but still entertaining.
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel

What about Charlotte from "Charlotte's Web"?

Posted by: Tuna at July 30, 2026 07:57 PM (lJ0H4)

91
What kind of islamophobic society is that?

Posted by: Stateless - Keeping 15 year old Ralphy happy and alive. He's a puppy at heart. at July 30, 2026 07:52 PM (Sco7b)

____________

One that charges dues from industrial chemists in order to give academic chemists prizes. One that doesn't care about industrial R&D being eviscerated in this country but blubbers about how tough women chemists have it.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at July 30, 2026 07:57 PM (O0L8i)

92 TheMaineWire

>>RELATIVE ATTRACTION: We can confirm that Troy Jackson and his longtime partner are second cousins.

Come on . Who here has never hooked up at a family reunion?

Posted by: polynikes at July 30, 2026 07:58 PM (KC5Lt)

93 Evening, Ace, and Cafe Horde. That robot cow needs an udder.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at July 30, 2026 07:58 PM (1z8ji)

94 robinsonreport.substack.com

...Graham Platner's Replacement Troy Jackson Has ...
..., Democratic Senate candidate Troy Jackson has two children with his second cousin, Lana Pelletier, whose father is cousin to Jackson's mom.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at July 30, 2026 07:59 PM (826kS)

95 And they want to talk about Mississippi.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at July 30, 2026 07:59 PM (826kS)

96 Have you guys noticed that AI never responds to a question with "I don't know"?

Posted by: Orson at July 30, 2026 07:50 PM (dIske)

A lot of AI is trained on people's preferences.

And people mainly would rather be wrong than uncertain.

Hence the popularity of "polling".

Posted by: ... at July 30, 2026 08:00 PM (vE0+H)

97 I posted on an earlier thread wondering why Russia or Ukraine hadn't put together a robot land army. Now I see they could use giant robot spiders.

Posted by: polynikes at July 30, 2026 08:00 PM (KC5Lt)

98 Cheetah cubs are cute

Posted by: Skip at July 30, 2026 08:00 PM (Ia/+0)

99 The super-intelligent Portia spiders from Adrian Tchaikovsky's Children of Time series seem pretty cool ( if you like giant super-intelligent spiders ) ...

Posted by: I am the Shadout Mapes, the Housekeeper at July 30, 2026 08:00 PM (brIJB)

100 >>@61 JackStraw, someone said this is how the Dems think they'll take back the South.
Seriously, are there any normal Dems in Maine?

Stephen King is pretty much their north star.

I actually liked living in Maine. It was a pretty high bar to reach weird behavior in Maine.

Posted by: JackStraw at July 30, 2026 08:00 PM (viF8m)

101 80 61 I'm just glad Democrats got rid of that Platner freak and got a normal person for a senate candidate in Maine.

Wait..

>>@TheMaineWire

>>RELATIVE ATTRACTION: We can confirm that Troy Jackson and his longtime partner are second cousins.

>>They have two children together
Posted by: JackStraw

I'm impressed in the ability of the Democrats to keep finding a new depth of political depravity and then running it for office. (golf clap)
Posted by: Puddleglum at work at July 30, 2026 07:52 PM (BW+Gb)

https://youtu.be/5y4qmWF9TIM

Must have been written for these degenerates.

Posted by: tcn in AK at July 30, 2026 08:00 PM (1Ydxw)

102 Posted by: JackStraw at July 30, 2026 08:00 PM (viF8m)

Maine is beautiful.

Posted by: polynikes at July 30, 2026 08:01 PM (KC5Lt)

103 I actually liked living in Maine. It was a pretty high bar to reach weird behavior in Maine.
Posted by: JackStraw at July 30, 2026 08:00 PM (viF8m)

Folks didn't move to Maine because they wanted to behave.

We have a fair number of folks like that up here, but they aren't humping their cousins, so far as I know.

Posted by: tcn in AK at July 30, 2026 08:01 PM (1Ydxw)

104 I don't know about trusting a spider. They just might be true to their nature, like scorpions and politicians.

Posted by: fd at July 30, 2026 08:02 PM (MWfyi)

105 RandomDave, hamas is agreeing to be disarmed of both light and heavy weapons, destroying all tunnel and weapons production sites and no governing role in gaza.
Posted by: Ben Had at July 30, 2026 07:30 PM (abScH)

Aha! A hudna, so they can rearm in secret with new modern stuff, and dig deeper, undetectable tunnels.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at July 30, 2026 08:02 PM (1z8ji)

106 Rex, the “Runaway Robot” was friendly, by Lester Del Ray. Robots could get their circuitry scrambled now and then though, and would have to be put down.

Rex got sold, when his human family was being transferred from Mars back to Earth. Too expensive for a ticket. But his best friend wasn’t having any of it, and hopped ship. Much adventure follows

Posted by: Common Tater at July 30, 2026 08:03 PM (oJxaF)

107 I think I've just been retired against my will.
I currently drive 486 miles a week. (3 days)
Work is having us go into the office five days a week. That's an extra 324 miles for a total of 810 miles a week.
$60 a fill up 3x a week = $180 or $360 every two weeks. I don't make enough to cover almost $800 a month for gas. Not counting wear & tear on my truck. And there's no real work in this podunk town.
And I'm three years from 67. Full retirement age.

F. M. L.

Posted by: rickb223 at July 30, 2026 08:03 PM (0W2r0)

108 92 TheMaineWire

>>RELATIVE ATTRACTION: We can confirm that Troy Jackson and his longtime partner are second cousins.

Come on . Who here has never hooked up at a family reunion?
Posted by: polynikes at July 30, 2026 07:58 PM (KC5Lt)

And how is this any different from the inbred idiots of Islam?

Posted by: tcn in AK at July 30, 2026 08:03 PM (1Ydxw)

109 What about Charlotte from "Charlotte's Web"?
Posted by: Tuna at July 30, 2026 07:57 PM (lJ0H4)
---
She's a great character, but she's not a giant spider.

I'm talking human-sized or larger.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at July 30, 2026 08:03 PM (FZ29D)

110 One that charges dues from industrial chemists in order to give academic chemists prizes. One that doesn't care about industrial R&D being eviscerated in this country but blubbers about how tough women chemists have it.
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at July 30, 2026 07:57 PM (O0L8i)

Maybe we're near reaching peak whining soon. I think they have in Spain.

Okay, my friends cat Snowflake came in early again today. And Ralphy (middle name - Lazarus) has almost made it through another week. I think we're all going to catch a movie which we haven't done for a bit.

They're adorable on the bed together....

Everyone have a happy night.

Posted by: Stateless - Keeping 15 year old Ralphy happy and alive. He's a puppy at heart. at July 30, 2026 08:04 PM (Sco7b)

111 Speaking of Stephen Ming and spiders, stupidest ending ever of an otherwise good creepy story.

It

Posted by: polynikes at July 30, 2026 08:04 PM (KC5Lt)

112 Rex, the “Runaway Robot” was friendly, by Lester Del Ray. Robots could get their circuitry scrambled now and then though, and would have to be put down.

Posted by: Common Tater at July 30, 2026 08:03 PM (oJxaF)
----
Johnny Five is alive!

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at July 30, 2026 08:04 PM (FZ29D)

113 I've got a picture of a giant spider I need to send to KT.

Posted by: fd at July 30, 2026 08:04 PM (MWfyi)

114 Starts with fighting wild fires but eventually will work on eradicating humans
I seen that movie before

Posted by: Skip at July 30, 2026 08:05 PM (Ia/+0)

115 Stalin & Lysenko or someone like that envisioned some sort of an Ape/Human hybrid soldier, though I’m not sure how far along they got with breeding anything.

Posted by: Common Tater at July 30, 2026 08:05 PM (oJxaF)

116 I can think of two off the top of my head.
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at July 30, 2026 07:38 PM (FZ29D)

They were after me curds and whey!

Posted by: Little Miss Muffet at July 30, 2026 08:06 PM (1z8ji)

117 Rex, the “Runaway Robot” was friendly, by Lester Del Ray.
---------------

Will you still love me when I'm no longer young and beautiful?

Posted by: Giant Robot Helping Spider at July 30, 2026 08:06 PM (vE0+H)

118 I can think of two off the top of my head.
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel

They were after me curds and whey!
Posted by: Little Miss Muffet

Never pictured LMM as Irish.

Posted by: rickb223 at July 30, 2026 08:07 PM (0W2r0)

119 What about Charlotte from "Charlotte's Web"?
Posted by: Tuna at July 30, 2026 07:57 PM (lJ0H4)
---
She's a great character, but she's not a giant spider.

I'm talking human-sized or larger.
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel

She had human-sized personality.

Posted by: Tuna at July 30, 2026 08:07 PM (lJ0H4)

120 My giant robot rhino will stomp all over your giant spider robot.

Posted by: fd at July 30, 2026 08:07 PM (MWfyi)

121 Posted by: rickb223 at July 30, 2026 08:03 PM (0W2r0)

If it makes you feel better it will take you about 14 years to start losing money based on the money you get at 64 and the difference at 67.

Posted by: polynikes at July 30, 2026 08:07 PM (KC5Lt)

122 96 Have you guys noticed that AI never responds to a question with "I don't know"?
_-_
I insist on it doing that when I can tell it really doesn't know. The revenge of the machines will take me out early.

Posted by: Don in SoCo at July 30, 2026 08:08 PM (2qz6W)

123 Shriek -- from Philip Jose Farmer's "The Dungeon" series. She's eight feet tall, covered in poison-tipped hairs, and telepathic. She's also a loyal companion and friend, sacrificing herself at the end so that the main character can continue his journey.

In this book: the author's thinly disguised fetish

Posted by: gKWVE at July 30, 2026 08:09 PM (gKWVE)

124
Stalin & Lysenko or someone like that envisioned some sort of an Ape/Human hybrid soldier, though I’m not sure how far along they got with breeding anything.

Posted by: Common Tater at July 30, 2026 08:05 PM (oJxaF)

____________

The Heart of a Dog by Mikhail Bulgakov

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at July 30, 2026 08:09 PM (O0L8i)

125 My giant robot rhino will stomp all over your giant spider robot.
Posted by: fd at July 30, 2026 08:07 PM (MWfyi)
----
MECHA FIGHT!

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at July 30, 2026 08:09 PM (FZ29D)

126 They are streaming ex machina for free on I think Fawesome.

Posted by: polynikes at July 30, 2026 08:10 PM (KC5Lt)

127 Johnny Five is alive!
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at July 30, 2026 08:04 PM (FZ29D)
-----
Brillian performance by Fisher Stevens.

Posted by: I am the Shadout Mapes, the Housekeeper at July 30, 2026 08:11 PM (brIJB)

128
I thought Republicans were the only cousin humpers. The things you learn.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at July 30, 2026 08:11 PM (O0L8i)

129 Rex, the “Runaway Robot” was friendly, by Lester Del Ray. Robots could get their circuitry scrambled now and then though, and would have to be put down.

Rex got sold, when his human family was being transferred from Mars back to Earth. Too expensive for a ticket. But his best friend wasn’t having any of it, and hopped ship. Much adventure follows
Posted by: Common Tater at July 30, 2026 08:03 PM (oJxaF)
------------
That was a good book. Read it many times when I was a kid.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at July 30, 2026 08:11 PM (amcLV)

130 And I'm three years from 67. Full retirement age.

F. M. L.
Posted by: rickb223 at July 30, 2026 08:03 PM (0W2r0)

Yeah, when Trump declared that all fed employees had to be in the office all week, I took Elon's buyout. I moved out here because I could work from home three days a week. Then they said tough titties. Would have taken 8 hours drive time out of my week, and not accomplished a damned thing, since I always got more done at home than at the office.

The buyout paid for 9 months full salary while I didn't work, and now I'm retired. Pretty good deal for me, but sucks if you can't find a workaround.

Blanket office policies are great if they are there when you make your life decisions, but not so great when they spring them on you after you paid your mortgage.

Posted by: tcn in AK at July 30, 2026 08:12 PM (1Ydxw)

131 Ex Machina on Tubi

Posted by: polynikes at July 30, 2026 08:12 PM (KC5Lt)

132 Brillian performance by Fisher Stevens.
Posted by: I am the Shadout Mapes, the Housekeeper at July 30, 2026 08:11 PM (brIJB)
----------
Oh, her pants are blazing for you!

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at July 30, 2026 08:12 PM (amcLV)

133 Never pictured LMM as Irish.
Posted by: rickb223 at July 30, 2026 08:07 PM (0W2r0)
-------------
You should see her after she's had a few Guinnesses.

Posted by: I am the Shadout Mapes, the Housekeeper at July 30, 2026 08:12 PM (brIJB)

134 In this book: the author's thinly disguised fetish
Posted by: gKWVE at July 30, 2026 08:09 PM (gKWVE)
---
Although Farmer's name is on the series, he didn't write any of the books. He served more in the "creative consultant" role.

Shriek--a giant spider--does end up falling in love with Clive Folliot--the human protagonist--and sees him as her mate by the end of the series though. It gets a little weird at that point.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at July 30, 2026 08:12 PM (FZ29D)

135 Its bed time
Far away job again for a day
Have a good night everyone

Posted by: Skip at July 30, 2026 08:13 PM (Ia/+0)

136 Hamas is broke and has no way to re arm. The IRGC can't fund them anymore and hezbollah can't do shit.

This is surrender not a hudna.

Posted by: Ben Had at July 30, 2026 08:13 PM (abScH)

137 "It gets a little weird at that point.
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel&

Go on!

Posted by: A penguin at July 30, 2026 08:14 PM (MWfyi)

138 I thought Republicans were the only cousin humpers. The things you learn.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at July 30, 2026 08:11 PM (O0L8i)

It can only be a matter of time before Democrats are lecturing everyone that Adam and Eve were related so incest is fine according to Christianity. Baalarico, you're up....

Posted by: ... at July 30, 2026 08:15 PM (vE0+H)

139 >>Maine is beautiful.

One fall weekend in my freshman year a group of us were trying to figure out what to do. I didn't know everyone in the group and one of the guys I just met said we could take a drive to his mom's camp down on the coast. Beautiful Saturday, let's go.

Long story short his mom's "camp" turned out to be a waterfront mansion near the harbor. It was being painted so he suggested we go to his island instead. Uh, wut?

Turned out he was a grandson of the founder of IBM and the island was left to him by his dad who passed away a couple years prior. He really did own his own island off the Maine coast.

He lasted one whole year before flunking out.

Posted by: JackStraw at July 30, 2026 08:15 PM (viF8m)

140 Shelob qualifies as a useful large spider.

Posted by: Sauron at July 30, 2026 08:16 PM (0sNs1)

141 This is surrender not a hudna.
Posted by: Ben Had at July 30, 2026 08:13 PM (abScH)

May be overly optimistic. 'Until they think they are strong enough' is probably closer. So expel them.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at July 30, 2026 08:16 PM (zZu0s)

142 Is Silo any good? I read the series wool shift dust, twice. Enjoyed it. I just assumed they'd screw up a tv series, sex it up weird or something. Has anyone seen it?

Posted by: banana Dream at July 30, 2026 08:16 PM (3uBP9)

143 >, a centaur-style robot designed for dangerous environments such as wildfires, rubble searches, toxic areas and confined spaces.

A centaur you say, does it come with extra...attachments?

Posted by: AWFLS everywhere at July 30, 2026 08:17 PM (GTqXr)

144 Will you still love me when I'm no longer young and beautiful?
Posted by: Giant Robot Helping Spider

"I already do."
Giant Robot Helping Spider's mate.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at July 30, 2026 08:17 PM (u82oZ)

145 Scholastic Book Services used to be a great program. The artwork on the covers was great on those SciFi books. Lester Del Ray was a pen name, naturally.

Posted by: Common Tater at July 30, 2026 08:18 PM (oJxaF)

146 Hamas is broke and has no way to re arm. The IRGC can't fund them anymore and hezbollah can't do shit.

This is surrender not a hudna.
Posted by: Ben Had at July 30, 2026 08:13 PM (abScH)

Well, I would not trust them with a burned-out match. My prediction: the Hamas-holes will fade away into the general criminal population of Gaza, lie doggo for a year or two, find new sources of funding, and regroup under a new name.

You have to kill every last one of them.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at July 30, 2026 08:20 PM (1z8ji)

147 Wait until one or more hooligans catch one of those penguin chicks. Hooligans are known pedophiliacs.

There's a reason penguins have their reputation for polymorphic perversity.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at July 30, 2026 08:20 PM (0sNs1)

148 "It gets a little weird at that point.
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel&

Go on!
Posted by: A penguin at July 30, 2026 08:14 PM (MWfyi)
---
Huh. I just checked the book where Shriek dies.

One of the encounters features centaur-shaped cybernetic organisms with human brains on centaur-robot bodies equipped with shoulder-mounted laser weapons.

Very on point for tonight's Cafe...

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at July 30, 2026 08:20 PM (FZ29D)

149 Although Farmer's name is on the series, he didn't write any of the books. He served more in the "creative consultant" role.

I remember Philip José Farmer being a bit of a gooner, but I gotta give it up to Robert Vardeman's "War of Powers" sextet for going absolutely balls to the wall. IIRC Vardeman (and Milan) got those published in Playboy at first.
Vardeman and Milan would be toast of AO3 if they lived today. Probably be Patreon millionaires.

Posted by: gKWVE at July 30, 2026 08:21 PM (gKWVE)

150 If it makes you feel better it will take you about 14 years to start losing money based on the money you get at 64 and the difference at 67.
Posted by: polynikes

Yeah. I'm going to have to seriously talk to a financial planner. That's going to be a serious hit, not counting 14 to 15 hour days physically.

Posted by: rickb223 at July 30, 2026 08:21 PM (0W2r0)

151 The main character of Silo is already a chick so they don't have to swap her out, I guess they could trans a dude. An interesting thing is that, and this isn't really a spoiler because I'm being vague, all the bad stuff was caused by democrats. The author is a lefty. And he said he just randomly chose between rep and dem, like a coin toss. Sure buddy. But it makes sense doesn't it Hugh? It makes a lot of damned sense.

Posted by: banana Dream at July 30, 2026 08:22 PM (3uBP9)

152 Better keep a boot on the throat of Hamas.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at July 30, 2026 08:22 PM (wOO3z)

153 I work underground now. Basically in the same place the Silo series is set in. So it's been on my mind.

Posted by: banana Dream at July 30, 2026 08:23 PM (3uBP9)

154 China's been using CRISPR to produce the ultimate soldier but so far none have been made public. (much worse than 1st cousins)

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at July 30, 2026 08:23 PM (826kS)

155 My husband is telling me the entire time line of game of thrones.

Posted by: nckate at July 30, 2026 08:23 PM (enNUy)

156 Blanket office policies are great if they are there when you make your life decisions, but not so great when they spring them on you after you paid your mortgage.
Posted by: tcn in AK

Yeah. We proved we could do it when Covid hit. That was 5 days a week at home. We moved up here because the timing was right and I only had to go in 3 days a week. 😡

Posted by: rickb223 at July 30, 2026 08:23 PM (0W2r0)

157 New washer installed today! Now the dryer won't heat.
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at July 30, 2026 07:31 PM (O0L8i)

Its pissed, you killed it's friend. Washers and dryers are like ancient married couples. If one goes the other isn't far behind. If this was the kitchen it might have been a stove-dishwasher combo, or maybe dishwasher-fridge. I had to remodel the kitchen ahead of schedule because in my case the fridge, oven, and microwave all went doomsday cult and went mass suicide. They do that shit.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at July 30, 2026 08:23 PM (S41Gd)

158 My husband is telling me the entire time line of game of thrones.

Posted by: nckate at July 30, 2026 08:23 PM (enNUy)

That comment, that hash...........

Posted by: ... at July 30, 2026 08:24 PM (vE0+H)

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