One More Such ONT And We Are Undone

Greetings, fellow Hordians! What say we have an ONT, shall we? Let's start with this greentext which is funny AF.

Fido Friday: Focus on the important things

pic.twitter.com/Mr2BGRn3RR
— ONT WTF (@OntWtf) July 3, 2026

A text I sent to my wife on July 2

Checklist

Would marry: Buff cheese woman

pic.twitter.com/5mIM8l5PuM
— ONT WTF (@OntWtf) July 3, 2026

Turning the tables

Neverending Independence Day

I'm loving it

pic.twitter.com/5S251NR3Zl
— ONT WTF (@OntWtf) July 10, 2026

Globalism

Herding cats

A great nation

pic.twitter.com/XBK1HiwMkg
— ONT WTF (@OntWtf) July 10, 2026

Facts

Facts, part 2

This may be too much America, even for me

pic.twitter.com/RIk8XLc7sp
— ONT WTF (@OntWtf) July 10, 2026

Same as it ever was

Individualism

What's for dinner? Snek.

pic.twitter.com/8bc7tQY9ex
— ONT WTF (@OntWtf) July 11, 2026

Getting old fast

Canadians

Gender specific roles

pic.twitter.com/nQjNHevKSO
— ONT WTF (@OntWtf) July 11, 2026

What a twist

Tonight's ONT has been brought to you by popcorn:

Posted by: WeirdDave at 10:00 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Yo!

Posted by: IS Roth at July 10, 2026 10:00 PM (rkhpv)

2 Eveninh, all

Posted by: caf at July 10, 2026 10:00 PM (fawlF)

3 Time

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at July 10, 2026 10:00 PM (xHEjv)

4 TH.

Posted by: Boss Moss at July 10, 2026 10:02 PM (0H3sk)

5 My popcorn always ends up looking like Pic #3

I hate popcorn

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at July 10, 2026 10:04 PM (u/oMr)

6 Page too big. Never loads.

Posted by: Boss Moss at July 10, 2026 10:04 PM (0H3sk)

7 Good now.

Posted by: Boss Moss at July 10, 2026 10:06 PM (0H3sk)

8 Good evening good people.

Posted by: Tonypete at July 10, 2026 10:06 PM (VmkSV)

9 *Lights stogie, settles into front porch chair, sips Rye*

Happy Friday, Horde! And thanks, WD!

Posted by: Matthew Kant Cipher at July 10, 2026 10:06 PM (6lIrI)

10 To be fair, the Vikings did row down the Volga and Dnieper.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at July 10, 2026 10:06 PM (u/oMr)

11 There I was, falling into deep despair, when suddenly I realized It's WeirdDave Friday, and my will to live revived.
😃

Posted by: mindful webworker - yay Friday = let's pop some popcorn at July 10, 2026 10:06 PM (9rU9k)

12 Sorry I'm late, Kermit was throwing a shindig to celebrate his recent break-up.

That was some really good sausage.

Posted by: tankdemon at July 10, 2026 10:07 PM (oB0kJ)

13 KLOWNZ?!

Posted by: vmom deport deport deport at July 10, 2026 10:07 PM (7gFa4)

14 Thank you WeirdDave...

I didn't recognize a charge on my credit card, and my important call to the company is 30 minutes long on hold.

Assholes. How much can it cost them to hire three extra Indian guys... geez...

Posted by: Stateless - He ain't heavy, he's my dog at July 10, 2026 10:07 PM (Sco7b)

15 I didn't recognize a charge on my credit card, and my important call to the company is 30 minutes long on hold.

Assholes. How much can it cost them to hire three extra Indian guys... geez...

---------

You try to hire Indians for a Nigerian boiler room operation and see how you do.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at July 10, 2026 10:08 PM (u/oMr)

16 Most gun deaths are suicides.

Posted by: Boss Moss at July 10, 2026 10:09 PM (0H3sk)

17 Needs flaming clown boners.

Posted by: nurse ratched. at July 10, 2026 10:09 PM (yEz+x)

18 Sargon on Nerdrotic.

Posted by: Boss Moss at July 10, 2026 10:10 PM (0H3sk)

19 Mrs. Cicero says one more flaming boner and I'll need to start hiring hookers.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at July 10, 2026 10:11 PM (u/oMr)

20 That redneck FUCKS.

Posted by: Silicon Valley Reference at July 10, 2026 10:12 PM (yzP4d)

21 Biathalon would be way more cool if the competitors had to load and fire a muzzle-loaded rifle, like Wellington's men did.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Rock 'n' Roll Martian at July 10, 2026 10:14 PM (0aYVJ)

22 What's for dinner? Snek.
---

What a wife!

What a cat!

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at July 10, 2026 10:14 PM (xHEjv)

23 Good evening Horde. Thanks WD!

Posted by: TRex- 'murica dino at July 10, 2026 10:14 PM (OlBv0)

24 Evening all,

Launch in about 30 minutes.

SpaceX - Falcon 9 - Starlink 17-48
SLC-4E - Vandenberg SFB - Space Affairs Live
Launch Date: July 10, 2026 PDT
Launch Time: 8:01 p.m. PDT (July 11, 03:01 UTC, 05:01 CEST)

https://youtu.be/-56tCCViN1A

Posted by: Joyenz at July 10, 2026 10:15 PM (2F0/Y)

25 In that ONT WTF, were they feeding that one dog sardines? That's just asking for stinkyness. I once tried giving cheaper canned dog food to my dog. The farting was horrific.

Posted by: nerdygirl at July 10, 2026 10:16 PM (0Htd1)

26 The Norwegian who refuses to row imagines he's like the guy (August Landmesser) in the crowd who refused to Sieg Heil. He is nothing like him.

https://tinyurl.com/s5y2r5xt

Posted by: Archimedes at July 10, 2026 10:18 PM (Riz8t)

27 My popcorn always ends up looking like Pic #3

A whirly pop. On the stove. After it stops popping for longer than a count of 1001. 1002, 1003, it is done. Add too much butter. (It is never too much.) Salt to taste. Easier than microwave. Better. No more time. Microwave popcorn is a plot to make popcorn unhealthy, untasty, and complicated.

Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at July 10, 2026 10:18 PM (kYmoU)

28
Facts, Part 2

How many EU deaths from assisted suicide?

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at July 10, 2026 10:19 PM (O0L8i)

29 The first video with the banging chick is most certainly AI.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at July 10, 2026 10:19 PM (XV/Pl)

30 Live in 32 minutes.

Posted by: Boss Moss at July 10, 2026 10:19 PM (0H3sk)

31 That was a very enjoyable ONT WeirdDave. Thanks.

Congratulations again nurse.

You try to hire Indians for a Nigerian boiler room operation and see how you do.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at July 10, 2026 10:08 PM (u/oMr)

That I'm Canadian thing above pretty much covers it. I'm pretty sure I could go to outside Toronto and find boiler rooms from both...

Everyone have a great night. I'm going to handle that tomorrow and get back to work here. Ralphy wants out. Snowflake is in resting and monitoring the outside activities through the window. Good kitty...

Posted by: Stateless - He ain't heavy, he's my dog at July 10, 2026 10:19 PM (Sco7b)

32 What's for dinner? Snek.
---
What a wife!
What a cat!
Posted by: Braenyard

"What's for dinner?"

"Stir-fry surprise!"

.....

But seriously, sneks carry salmonella. Not eating the stir-fry surprise.

I'd order some takeout, though. Her choice.

Posted by: mikeski at July 10, 2026 10:20 PM (VHUov)

33 Great memes tonight, WD! That popcorn one is too true.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at July 10, 2026 10:20 PM (1z8ji)

34
Best of Breed and a Hound Group 3 for The Big Dummy at today's Bexar County KC show.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at July 10, 2026 10:21 PM (O0L8i)

35 Evenin'

Posted by: Puddleglum at work at July 10, 2026 10:21 PM (L1JuH)

36 Great ONT. The Freebird video is inspiring, to say the least. And the Washington/SNL clip is way funnier than I'd have given them credit for. Thanks for pulling it all together!

Posted by: 496 at July 10, 2026 10:22 PM (wn82L)

37 Indians are 8 times more likely to $h!T themselves to death than americans.

Posted by: Boss Moss at July 10, 2026 10:23 PM (0H3sk)

38 Yay, ONT!

Posted by: Blanco Basura - Z28.310 at July 10, 2026 10:24 PM (+9wcF)

39 I cook popcorn in the michael wave like Bob Wiley would, rocking back and forth, waiting for the 2 second gap, waiting for the 2 second gap. Being ADHD has its advantages.

Works every time.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Rock 'n' Roll Martian at July 10, 2026 10:25 PM (0aYVJ)

40
Well, my mother is in a nursing home for post-acute therapy (that's what they've all started calling themselves now, "post-acute").

After all that, she was weak as hell, but I think she's coming back. Physically. Her mind, well, she's sort of in La La Land. She's knows who were are, and knows friends and family that have visited, but otherwise is sort of in her own little world. She'll reach for things that aren't there. She seems to think background objects are close up right there at arm's length or something.

And then, she sometimes tries to eat her blanket.... Pulls it up her mouth and chews on it.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at July 10, 2026 10:26 PM (w6EFb)

41 Stone age Indians made popcorn. How tough can it be?

Posted by: Archimedes at July 10, 2026 10:26 PM (Riz8t)

42 but let her enjoy herself; as a light heart makes for navigable waters.

.....if you know what I mean, and I hotep you do.

Posted by: mikeskhufu at July 10, 2026 10:26 PM (VHUov)

43 And then, she sometimes tries to eat her blanket.... Pulls it up her mouth and chews on it.

In her defense, I've seen some delicious looking blankets over the years.

Posted by: Blanco Basura - Z28.310 at July 10, 2026 10:28 PM (+9wcF)

44 And a long ton is 2,240 lbs.

Posted by: Just to add to the confusion at July 10, 2026 10:30 PM (2Ez/1)

45 Page too big. Never loads.
Posted by: Boss Moss

Grok recommends you get a 2nd monitor.

Posted by: mindful webworker - or was it chat-bs? at July 10, 2026 10:30 PM (9rU9k)

46 Stone age Indians made popcorn. How tough can it be?
Posted by: Archimedes at July 10, 2026 10:26 PM (Riz8t)

It was tough; just try to build a microwave oven out of rocks, deer skins, and mammoth tusks.

Posted by: Idaho Spudboy at July 10, 2026 10:30 PM (tiz3J)

47 I gotta say, If I'm going to die, I'd rather take a bullet to the noggin, than die a slow painful, and sloppy death from diarrhea.

Posted by: nerdygirl at July 10, 2026 10:31 PM (0Htd1)

48 The first video with the banging chick is most certainly AI.
Posted by: Thomas Bender

Unfortunately, yes. The sign at the beginning says "coekmodnt," and I don't think that's even valid Dutch or Welsh, much less any real language.

Posted by: mikeski at July 10, 2026 10:31 PM (VHUov)

49 Washington/SNL clip is way funnier than I'd have given them credit for. Thanks for pulling it all together!
Posted by: 496 at July 10, 2026 10:22 PM (wn82L)

Nate Bargatze. He is friggin' funny. Look him up, if you have not already. He works clean, which I love. I love his non-linear look at real life. Seriously. Dude is genuinely funny.

His dad, Stephen, a magician, is funny as well. Apple, tree.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Rock 'n' Roll Martian at July 10, 2026 10:31 PM (0aYVJ)

50 Holy fuck, buff cheese woman is a HARD One.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Buy ammo at July 10, 2026 10:31 PM (xcxpd)

51 The nic tagline I used in #11, "let's pop some popcorn," I swear, I wrote that before I read the content.

Horde mind something something.

Posted by: mindful webworker - Weird, Dave! at July 10, 2026 10:32 PM (9rU9k)

52 17 Needs flaming clown boners.
Posted by: nurse ratched. at July 10, 2026 10:09 PM (yEz+x

---------

LOL! Add that to George Carlin's list of things you never hear....

Posted by: Matthew Kant Cipher at July 10, 2026 10:33 PM (6lIrI)

53
She lucked out with her roommate. The old gal is a character, one of the "good ol' gals", and it turns out we're probably related, as we got to trying figure out the cross-pollination with our family trees. Anyway, she's in there after a heart attack, followed by drug-induced rhabdomyolysis, which is pretty bad. It was caused by an interaction with statins and something else, which she says the docs that gave her that ought to have known better.

Anyway, think of Miklos' Darlene when she got old and even ornerier. That woman notices everything, and keeps watch on Mama, and gives a report on all the activities through the night.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at July 10, 2026 10:33 PM (w6EFb)

54 Aw, Publius.. that's heartbreaking! Could just be "hospital delirium" though.

Hope she regains lucidity soon. Right now she's where she needs to be, getting 'round the clock care, and you & Miley can get some rest.

Prayers, as always, for all of you.

Posted by: JQ at July 10, 2026 10:33 PM (rdVOm)

55 Stone age Indians made popcorn. How tough can it be?
Posted by: Archimedes at July 10, 2026 10:26 PM (Riz8t)

We call it maizecorn.

Posted by: Stone Age Indian Maiden at July 10, 2026 10:33 PM (wVcYX)

56 It was tough; just try to build a microwave oven out of rocks, deer skins, and mammoth tusks.
Posted by: Idaho Spudboy at July 10, 2026 10:30 PM (tiz3J)

---------

If you don't have at least two coconuts and some palm fronds, you're bound to fail.

Posted by: The Professor at July 10, 2026 10:33 PM (u/oMr)

57 "His dad, Stephen, a magician, is funny as well. Apple, tree."

Nate often works that into his material, and is, in itself, funny.

Posted by: Quarter Twenty at July 10, 2026 10:34 PM (2Ez/1)

58 Or popmaize.

Posted by: Stone Age Indian Maiden at July 10, 2026 10:35 PM (wVcYX)

59 I've never seen anyone catch the cheese in that race before. Marriage material.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at July 10, 2026 10:35 PM (n5tGW)

60
According to that lady, Mama will wake up in the middle of night and try to get out of bed. She gets the nurses in there to deal with it.

The other morning, Mama woke up around 6AM after a few hours of sleep, and thought she was in a restaurant in Spartanburg, and was getting no service. This morning, she in a "garden shed" with no place to sit down, also waiting for service.

Anyway, again according the roommate, when she gets in that state, she'll start calling for me, and get mad because I don't come and wonder what's the matter with me.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at July 10, 2026 10:36 PM (w6EFb)

61 His dad, Stephen, a magician, is funny as well. Apple, tree."

Nate often works that into his material, and is, in itself, funny.
Posted by: Quarter Twenty at July 10, 2026 10:34 PM (2Ez/1)

Like his Dad's friend, dressed as the Easter Bunny.

I thought that was normal.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Rock 'n' Roll Martian at July 10, 2026 10:37 PM (0aYVJ)

62 Evenin’, All.

Posted by: Bulg at July 10, 2026 10:37 PM (77rzZ)

63 The other morning, Mama woke up around 6AM after a few hours of sleep, and thought she was in a restaurant in Spartanburg, and was getting no service

------

The Beacon? That might have made for quite a conversation.....

Posted by: Matthew Kant Cipher at July 10, 2026 10:38 PM (6lIrI)

64 Obviously they didn't row over really long distances but they would row if the wind was calm on a long trip.

Posted by: steevy at July 10, 2026 10:38 PM (YwEeS)

65 Say, would that be Gouda?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at July 10, 2026 10:38 PM (u/oMr)

66 That's really tough reading, Publius. So sorry.

Posted by: mnw at July 10, 2026 10:38 PM (RCjYY)

67 The ONT starts off with a clown.

Ugh. I hate clowns:

Posted by: Bulg at July 10, 2026 10:39 PM (77rzZ)

68 Thank you WeirdDave...

I didn't recognize a charge on my credit card, and my important call to the company is 30 minutes long on hold.

Assholes. How much can it cost them to hire three extra Indian guys... geez...
Posted by: Stateless - He ain't heavy, he's my dog at July 10, 2026 10:07 PM (Sco7b)

Well, they're in Canada, so quite a lot more than in India.

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at July 10, 2026 10:39 PM (qx7Zg)

69 "His dad, Stephen, a magician, is funny as well. Apple, tree."

Nate often works that into his material, and is, in itself, funny.
Posted by: Quarter Twenty at July 10, 2026 10:34 PM (2Ez/1)

I ran across Stehpen Bargatze's Escape from the strait jacket of death. I was dying.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Rock 'n' Roll Martian at July 10, 2026 10:40 PM (0aYVJ)

70 Add me to the list of hating stairway to heaven.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at July 10, 2026 10:41 PM (n5tGW)

71 I’m sorry, Publius. Dementia stinks.

Prayer up for healing,

Posted by: Bulg at July 10, 2026 10:42 PM (77rzZ)

72 That romp is from Freebird?

Posted by: Boss Moss at July 10, 2026 10:42 PM (0H3sk)

73 Anyway, again according the roommate, when she gets in that state, she'll start calling for me, and get mad because I don't come and wonder what's the matter with me.
Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at July 10, 2026 10:36 PM (w6EFb)

Ughhh that's horrible. She does sound strong though so hopefully this improves quickly.

How are you doing?

Posted by: Stateless - He ain't heavy, he's my dog at July 10, 2026 10:42 PM (Sco7b)

74
Buff cheese woman's thighs would crush you like a walnut.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at July 10, 2026 10:43 PM (O0L8i)

75 I notice the latest feminist thing is the complaint that if a husband asks his wife for sex and she's not in the mood its tantamount to rape.

Well.

I can just imagine this is so much worse then what women in Iran feel when the police beat them for not wearing a hijab right?

Posted by: 18-1 at July 10, 2026 10:44 PM (sKqQm)

76 70 Add me to the list of hating stairway to heaven.
Posted by: Guy Mohawk at July 10, 2026 10:41 PM (n5tGW)

--------

May your stores be all closed, and may you not get what you came for.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at July 10, 2026 10:44 PM (u/oMr)

77 Publius.

Prayers.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Rock 'n' Roll Martian at July 10, 2026 10:44 PM (0aYVJ)

78 Dude running around in nothing but cowbow boots and sporting a stiffy and an AR. Is this the birth of Texas Man?

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at July 10, 2026 10:45 PM (S41Gd)

79 publius, Rascally Mr. Miley, I have you all in my prayers. My parents both lived into their nineties. The blessing for them, was that they had dementia to the point that they didn't realize how far gone they were. I think it actually made it easier for them.

Posted by: nerdygirl at July 10, 2026 10:46 PM (0Htd1)

80 Buff cheese woman's thighs would crush you like a walnut.

Better way to go than being lectured to death by a feminist scold.

Posted by: Blanco Basura - Z28.310 at July 10, 2026 10:46 PM (+9wcF)

81 And the Washington/SNL clip is way funnier than I'd have given them credit for. Thanks
---
That's Nate Bargatze(sp), he's hilarious.

Those guns had a few safety issues but never too American!

Posted by: lin-duh at July 10, 2026 10:46 PM (VCgbV)

82 I saw mall videos from Iran. Bare midriffs even.

Posted by: Boss Moss at July 10, 2026 10:46 PM (0H3sk)

83 Hi, Stateless. Haven’t talked to you lately. Hope you are well.

Posted by: Bulg at July 10, 2026 10:46 PM (77rzZ)

84 29 The first video with the banging chick is most certainly AI.
Posted by: Thomas Bender at July 10, 2026 10:19 PM (XV/Pl)

And you wonder why you don't get invited to parties.

Posted by: JohnFNotKerry at July 10, 2026 10:46 PM (ZAfEX)

85 >> Could just be "hospital delirium" though.

That's what we're hoping. Over the past year, maybe a little longer, I've noticed she's been slipping a bit, not as aware of things, and getting a bit mixed up from time to time, but nothing this bad.

She was still good until after that emergency surgery (giving her blood thinners was an absolute disaster). She's in an unfamiliar place, and that has a lot to do with it. We'll just see how she progresses.

The PT guy said he managed to get her to walk 40', but it did wear her out. And that's a lot better than just a couple of days ago.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at July 10, 2026 10:46 PM (w6EFb)

86 43 And then, she sometimes tries to eat her blanket.... Pulls it up her mouth and chews on it.

In her defense, I've seen some delicious looking blankets over the years.

Posted by: Blanco Basura - Z28.310
---

Sounds like she's comfortable. That's the most important thing.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at July 10, 2026 10:47 PM (xHEjv)

87 Ugh. I hate clowns:
Posted by: Bulg at July 10, 2026 10:39 PM (77rzZ)

----------

You sure?

https://tinyurl.com/543jxn93

Posted by: Matthew Kant Cipher at July 10, 2026 10:47 PM (6lIrI)

88
I notice the latest feminist thing is the complaint that if a husband asks his wife for sex and she's not in the mood its tantamount to rape.

____________

I thought the latest feminist thing is to complain about women's "emotional load" and how much greater it is for them than men. Well, toots, we don't overanalyze stuff. See, do, on to the next thing.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at July 10, 2026 10:47 PM (O0L8i)

Processing 0.02, elapsed 0.0187 seconds.
14 queries taking 0.0068 seconds, 96 records returned.
Page size 59 kb.
Powered by Minx 0.8 beta.