Tuesday Overnight Open Thread - May 12, 2026 [Doof]

Greetings Hordelings! The Tuesday ONT is here, and so are you. Open thread, as always. Come on in!

***

Tuesday night humor

While golfing, a guy accidentally overturns his golf cart in a tremendous crash.

A very attractive female golfer, who lives in a townhome overlooking the golf course, hears the crash and calls out, "Are you okay?"

"I'm okay, thanks," says the guy, as he pulls himself from the twisted golf cart wreck.

She says, "Come up to my home, you can recover for a bit, and I'll help you with the golf cart up later."

Even being a bit dizzy, the guy couldn’t help but notice that her bathrobe was partially open, revealing what appeared to be an amazing figure.

"That's mighty nice of you," he answers, "but I really don't think my wife would approve"

"Oh, come on now." she insists.

She was so pretty, so very persuasive, and the guy was so relatively dazed!

"Well okay, but I'm quite sure my wife won't be happy with me"

After a couple of gin and tonics, he thanks her and says, "I feel a lot better, and know that my wife is going to be really upset, so I'd best leave now."

"Don't be silly!" she said with a coquettish smile, letting her robe fall even slightly more open. "Stay for a while. She won't know a thing, we can have another drink” then she asks, by the way, “where is she, anyway?"

The guy replies, "Probably still under the cart, if I were to bet"

-----

Accuracy level is high

The mental illness of Democrats explained pic.twitter.com/vwyi9odR6M
— Karli Bonne’ 🇺🇸 (@KarluskaP) May 8, 2026

-----

Definitely not a sandwich

How to cook dozens of hotdogs at once without a grill.

Follow me for more life hacks. pic.twitter.com/vJnxzO0tdU
— Planet Of Memes (@PlanetOfMemes) May 12, 2026

-----

***

DJ Doof - SDL (Stuff Doof Likes) Edition

***

Weekly commenter stats for week of 05-10-2026

AoSHQ Commenter Statistics:
Number of posts: 84
Number of comments: 20454
Number of unique hashes: 1605

Top 10 commenters:
1 [490 comments] 'Sponge - F*ck Cancer' [69.62 posts/day]
2 [477 comments] 'TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films'
3 [344 comments] 'ShainS '
4 [297 comments] '...'
5 [275 comments] 'Bulg'
6 [274 comments] 'whig'
7 [261 comments] 'FenelonSpoke'
8 [242 comments] 'rickb223 '
9 [239 comments] '18-1'
10 [238 comments] 'Smell the Glove'

Top 10 sockpuppeteers:
1 [132 names] 'Quarter Twenty ' [18.75 unique names/day]
2 [116 names] 'Some off the cuff death metal lyrics'
3 [113 names] 'Homely Troll'
4 [43 names] 'pookysgirl, wrestling Lil Pooky for the keyboard'
5 [41 names] 'Count de Monet'
6 [38 names] 'mikeski'
7 [35 names] 'Duncanthrax'
8 [33 names] 'mindful webworker - mountaining'
9 [29 names] 'mindful webworker - gosh darn'
10 [28 names] 'fd'

***

Tonight's ONT brought to you by the Macho Man

***

Your feedback may or may not be very important to Doof Enterprises. Follow Mr. Doof on X @doof2112 or do the email thing – doof2112 at proton dot me.

Posted by: Open Blogger at 10:14 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 That one mitten is giving someone the middle finger.

Posted by: OrangeEnt at May 12, 2026 10:14 PM (1Ff7Z)

2 1st?

Posted by: davidt at May 12, 2026 10:15 PM (Q+gd/)

3 nope

Posted by: davidt at May 12, 2026 10:15 PM (Q+gd/)

4
Yay!

Thank you Doof.

Posted by: four seasons at May 12, 2026 10:15 PM (3ek7K)

5
*sets lit cigar on end table*

Good evening, Hordians.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 12, 2026 10:16 PM (HdYcL)

6 Hey, Food.

Posted by: Bulgtl at May 12, 2026 10:16 PM (77rzZ)

7 Sorry for being annoying, Doof!

Posted by: Piper at May 12, 2026 10:16 PM (Wmg4n)

8 Tuesday night humor

Hah!

I didn't see that coming.

Posted by: mikeski at May 12, 2026 10:18 PM (VHUov)

9 Hey, Food.
Posted by: Bulgtl at May 12, 2026 10:16 PM (77rzZ)

What happened to your nic?

Posted by: Doof at May 12, 2026 10:18 PM (QMAsf)

10 We could try the hotdog thing right before my dishwasher is replaced. Except no one here will eat them. 🤣

Posted by: Piper at May 12, 2026 10:18 PM (OoFl2)

11
Posted by: Piper at May 12, 2026 10:16 PM (Wmg4n)

__________

*embarrassed cough*

Are Soup and Saijo two different dogs or different names for the same one? I can't even keep our own dogs' names straight.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 12, 2026 10:18 PM (HdYcL)

12 Was he sponsored by Goodyear?

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 12, 2026 10:18 PM (Cqx++)

13 Top Pic: There is always a tailgater, even with miles of open highway.

Posted by: Joemarine at May 12, 2026 10:18 PM (y171U)

14 Sorry for being annoying, Doof!
Posted by: Piper at May 12, 2026 10:16 PM (Wmg4n)

Checking on me is definitely not annoying!

Posted by: Doof at May 12, 2026 10:18 PM (QMAsf)

15 How to cook dozens of hotdogs at once without a grill.

Still more appetizing than gas-station roller dogs.

Posted by: mikeski at May 12, 2026 10:19 PM (VHUov)

16 Yay!

Thank you Doof.
Posted by: four seasons at May 12, 2026 10:15 PM (3ek7K)

You're welcome

Posted by: Doof at May 12, 2026 10:19 PM (QMAsf)

17 Good evening good people.

Posted by: Tonypete at May 12, 2026 10:19 PM (Kyh8Y)

18 *embarrassed cough*

Are Soup and Saijo two different dogs or different names for the same one? I can't even keep our own dogs' names straight.
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 12, 2026 10:18 PM (HdYcL)

They are the same dog. Anna Puma gave him the nickname Soup because I wanted to name him Miso. So he is Saijo “Soup” Shiba (insert last name here).

Posted by: Piper at May 12, 2026 10:21 PM (OoFl2)

19 Was he sponsored by Goodyear?
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 12, 2026 10:18 PM (Cqx++)

Oo Yea!

Posted by: Macho Man, whose catchphrase was always Oo Yea! at May 12, 2026 10:21 PM (1Ff7Z)

20 Good evening Tonypete anyway!

Posted by: gKWVE at May 12, 2026 10:21 PM (gKWVE)

21 Love the macho man. Ooohhhh yeah!

Posted by: BruceWayne at May 12, 2026 10:22 PM (YZ0Fo)

22 Put it on the ash tray, not my end table, please.

Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at May 12, 2026 10:22 PM (ZVgZ4)

23 Hey, Food.
Posted by: Bulgtl at May 12, 2026 10:16 PM (77rzZ)

What happened to your nic?
Posted by: Doof at May 12, 2026 10:18 PM (QMAsf)

He's very clearly Aztec.

Posted by: I used to have a different nic at May 12, 2026 10:22 PM (ExV1e)

24 Good evening morons ותודה דיסקו!

Posted by: San Franpsycho at May 12, 2026 10:22 PM (RIvkX)

25 RIP Donald "Ogre" Gibb.

Posted by: NEEEERRRRDDDS at May 12, 2026 10:22 PM (gKWVE)

26 Evenin'

Posted by: Puddleglum, cheer up for the worst is yet to come at May 12, 2026 10:23 PM (sAmhv)

27 9 I decided, based on discussion in an earlier thread, that I really liked the Nahuatl word ending “-tl.” I’ll probably remove it at some point, and go back to the old nick, but for now I’m rolling with it.

Posted by: Bulgtl at May 12, 2026 10:23 PM (77rzZ)

28 Still more appetizing than gas-station roller dogs.
Posted by: mikeski

It's no accident of naming that Sheetz has roller dogs.

Circle K and Quick Trip (QT) have pretty good ones honestly. Nice condiments too!

Posted by: Tonypete at May 12, 2026 10:23 PM (Kyh8Y)

29 You can steam fish in the dishwasher too. It actually works.

Posted by: BruceWayne at May 12, 2026 10:23 PM (YZ0Fo)

30 The guy replies, "Probably still under the cart, if I were to bet"

I snorted out loud.

Posted by: toby928(c) at May 12, 2026 10:23 PM (4NO2D)

31 Hot dogs? Rinse agent is on the menu.

Posted by: Hokey Pokey at May 12, 2026 10:24 PM (YlWIZ)

32 Factory-recommended roller time for a fresh hot dog runs anywhere from 20 minutes to seven days.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at May 12, 2026 10:25 PM (JkO4W)

33 RIP Donald "Ogre" Gibb.
Posted by: NEEEERRRRDDDS at May 12, 2026 10:22 PM (gKWVE)

The football player character? Met him once. He seemed happy I knew who he was.

Posted by: OrangeEnt at May 12, 2026 10:25 PM (1Ff7Z)

34 If I decide to steam some hot dogs in my dishwasher, what type detergent should be used? Or could I substitute BBQ sauce or mustard?

Posted by: LRob in OK at May 12, 2026 10:25 PM (Jr+re)

35 Which cycle do you do the hotdogs on?

Just curious. Not curious enough to try it, but... still.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at May 12, 2026 10:25 PM (jehhT)

36 I snorted out loud.
Posted by: toby928(c) at May 12, 2026 10:23 PM (4NO2D)

I chuckled, the wife didn't. Maybe she didn't get the joke.

Posted by: I used to have a different nic at May 12, 2026 10:25 PM (ExV1e)

37 Circle K and Quick Trip (QT) have pretty good ones honestly. Nice condiments too!
Posted by: Tonypete at

Things are a foot at the Circle K.

Posted by: BruceWayne at May 12, 2026 10:25 PM (YZ0Fo)

38 One statement in the video explaining the mental illness of the Left sums it up.

These leftist non-producers think they are smarter than anyone else.

That's one reason that for any Leftist movement they will eventually turn on each other.

Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at May 12, 2026 10:25 PM (qrzX6)

39 Top Pic: There is always a tailgater, even with miles of open highway.
Posted by: Joemarine at May 12, 2026 10:18 PM (y171U)

I'm wondering what rock makes up that pale outcrop in the middle distance? Maybe some Cretaceous or Tertiary shale deposited on the more ancient sandstones that make up the buttes?

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 12, 2026 10:26 PM (95Ab8)

40 “Soup” is a great dog name.

Posted by: Bulgtl at May 12, 2026 10:26 PM (77rzZ)

41 Circle K and Quick Trip (QT) have pretty good ones honestly. Nice condiments too!
Posted by: Tonypete at May 12, 2026 10:23 PM (Kyh8Y)

I never use Circle K or QT condiments. They always break. It's embarrassing when she starts swelling.

Posted by: OrangeEnt at May 12, 2026 10:26 PM (1Ff7Z)

42 Aaaaand, could I slice some onions and steam them in the little silverware holders?

Posted by: LRob in OK at May 12, 2026 10:26 PM (Jr+re)

43 The "Schiff is an actual Benedict Arnold Traitor" story today is still mind-blowing.

Posted by: LASue at May 12, 2026 10:26 PM (lCppi)

44 Things are a foot at the Circle K.
Posted by: BruceWayne at May 12, 2026 10:25 PM (YZ0Fo)

-----------

And that foot, is me.

Posted by: Dean Wormer at May 12, 2026 10:26 PM (JkO4W)

45 Yay, ONT!

Posted by: Blanco Basura - Z28.310 at May 12, 2026 10:27 PM (+9wcF)

46 This was worth waiting for. Doof deserves all the accolades and brickbats we can bestow. Well-rounded, balanced, humorous, it's really ideal. The weekly Scorecard of Shame(s) is always appreciated. This will be reflected in your annual review.

Posted by: Keeping Score at May 12, 2026 10:27 PM (oftw2)

47
RIP Donald "Ogre" Gibb.
Posted by: NEEEERRRRDDDS

Was he one of the Bee Gees?

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 12, 2026 10:27 PM (Cqx++)

48 You can steam fish in the dishwasher too. It actually works.
Posted by: BruceWayne at May 12, 2026 10:23 PM (YZ0Fo)

But it doesn't scale well.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 12, 2026 10:28 PM (95Ab8)

49 Aaaaand, could I slice some onions and steam them in the little silverware holders?
Posted by: LRob in OK

You put the peppers and onions on the top rack. They stay a lil crisp that way.

Posted by: BruceWayne at May 12, 2026 10:29 PM (YZ0Fo)

50 Maybe some Cretaceous or Tertiary shale deposited on the more ancient sandstones that make up the buttes?
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 12, 2026 10:26 PM (95Ab

I used to know, but can't remember much of geology class. I do know that those buttes are hard as rock. Like a girl fitness instructor.

Posted by: OrangeEnt at May 12, 2026 10:29 PM (1Ff7Z)

51
Sabres made a major contribution to national security by defeating Montreal 3-2 and tying the series at 2 games apiece.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 12, 2026 10:29 PM (HdYcL)

52 Does Homely Troll ever post under his/her own nic? Don't think I've ever seen it.

Posted by: LRob in OK at May 12, 2026 10:29 PM (Jr+re)

53 RIP Donald "Ogre" Gibb.
Posted by: NEEEERRRRDDDS

Noooooooooooo!!!

What if C-A-T really spelled dog?

Posted by: Dark Litigator at May 12, 2026 10:30 PM (W5mpo)

54 You can steam fish in the dishwasher too. It actually works.
Posted by: BruceWayne

But it doesn't scale well.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon

So I pulled into a Shell station
They said I'd blown a seal
I said, "Fix the damn thing
And leave my private life out of it
Okay pal?"

Posted by: Tonypete at May 12, 2026 10:30 PM (Kyh8Y)

55 NERDS!!

Posted by: toby928(c) honors Gibbs at May 12, 2026 10:30 PM (4NO2D)

56 I am off to bed, but sad I will miss the remainder of cooking in the dishwasher. 😊

Posted by: Piper at May 12, 2026 10:30 PM (OoFl2)

57 I used to know, but can't remember much of geology class. I do know that those buttes are hard as rock. Like a girl fitness instructor.

---------

Explaining the phrase, "ain't that arse a butte."

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at May 12, 2026 10:31 PM (JkO4W)

58 Or -

Looks like you've blown a seal.

Nah, it was the ice cream!

Posted by: LRob in OK at May 12, 2026 10:31 PM (Jr+re)

59
"Barnashev" sounds like a 1960s shaving cream.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 12, 2026 10:31 PM (HdYcL)

60 Which cycle do you do the hotdogs on?
Posted by: Martini Farmer

Normal cycle for regular dogs, I think.

"Pots and Pans" for bratwurst.

"China/Crystal" for Vienna sausages.

Posted by: mikeski at May 12, 2026 10:32 PM (VHUov)

61
Barbashev. Maybe I should just go to bed and try again tomorrow.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 12, 2026 10:32 PM (HdYcL)

62 "Barnashev" sounds like a 1960s shaving cream.
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh

And good enough used to dance at the Bolshoi Theater.

Posted by: Tonypete at May 12, 2026 10:33 PM (Kyh8Y)

63 By the way, my new, possibly temporary, nic, is to be pronounced “BULG-tull,”

Posted by: Bulgtl at May 12, 2026 10:33 PM (77rzZ)

64 Good evening Horde. Thanks Disco!

Posted by: TRex - dishwasher safe dino at May 12, 2026 10:33 PM (Gk7QD)

65 You can steam fish in the dishwasher too. It actually works.
Posted by: BruceWayne

You can use it to clean the lane oil off your bowling ball, too.

Think I'll stick to washing dishes in mine.

Posted by: mikeski at May 12, 2026 10:33 PM (VHUov)

66 Thanks for the swell Tuesday Night ONT, Doof!

That joke was a hoot. Did not see that one coming!

Posted by: Legally Sufficient at May 12, 2026 10:33 PM (vrNzf)

67 RIP Frederick

Posted by: Bilwis Devourer of Innocent Souls, I'm starvin' over here at May 12, 2026 10:34 PM (w/O5Q)

68 I saw Tertiary Shale open for Mountain at Red Rocks Amphitheater in '78.

Posted by: Rockin' Mel Slirrup at May 12, 2026 10:34 PM (oftw2)

69 Think I'll stick to washing dishes in mine.
Posted by: mikeski at

Luddite

/s

Posted by: BruceWayne at May 12, 2026 10:34 PM (YZ0Fo)

70 By the way, my new, possibly temporary, nic, is to be pronounced “BULG-tull,”
Posted by: Bulgtl at May 12, 2026 10:33 PM (77rzZ)

Lut-glub it is then. Thanks!

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 12, 2026 10:34 PM (95Ab8)

71 I spent 45 mins fucking around with all the sprinklers. I have it just right. No wasted water on the sidewalk. No water touching the house. All grass and plants getting covered evenly.

Ahhhhhhh. Beer time now.

Posted by: Heroq at May 12, 2026 10:35 PM (f2WBH)

72 The photo of Monument Valley is amazingly accurate, except that it is missing the tourists standing in the middle of the road as if there is no better view from there.

Looks like rain clouds on the horizon too. Must be a summer photo.

Posted by: Legally Sufficient at May 12, 2026 10:35 PM (vrNzf)

73 The "Schiff is an actual Benedict Arnold Traitor" story today is still mind-blowing.
Posted by: LASue at May 12, 2026 10:26 PM (lCppi)

They even look alike!

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at May 12, 2026 10:35 PM (qx7Zg)

74 Sleep well, Piper.

Posted by: Bulgtl at May 12, 2026 10:35 PM (77rzZ)

75 I saw a pheasant on the roadside coming home from gassing the car up in town.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 12, 2026 10:36 PM (95Ab8)

76 Here's hoping President Trump out-negotiates Xi the Pooh in Peking.

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at May 12, 2026 10:36 PM (qx7Zg)

77 Sabres made a major contribution to national security by defeating Montreal 3-2 and tying the series at 2 games apiece.
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh

Tkachuk bros had a hilarious story on their pod today about how they were all trying to sneak beers into the village and Tage Thompson just had a case on his shoulder and put it through the X-ray machine. Said they knew they were gonna win the gold after that.

Posted by: BruceWayne at May 12, 2026 10:37 PM (YZ0Fo)

78 I saw a pheasant on the roadside coming home from gassing the car up in town.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 12, 2026 10:36 PM (95Ab

Couldn't it have flown instead of driving?

Posted by: OrangeEnt at May 12, 2026 10:37 PM (1Ff7Z)

79 By the way, my new, possibly temporary, nic, is to be pronounced “BULG-tull,”
Posted by: Bulgtl at May 12, 2026 10:33 PM (77rzZ)

You've taken up the flute, like Ian Anderson?

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at May 12, 2026 10:37 PM (qx7Zg)

80 70 AOP, LOL.

Posted by: Bulgtl at May 12, 2026 10:37 PM (77rzZ)

81 Doof -

I realize you aren't a fan but if you're wondering how some of us are and how a guitar sold for $11.5 million this is a pretty good example. Jerry had just received Tiger a couple months prior and you can tell he loved it.

I recommend turning it to 11.

https://tinyurl.com/2mj97dxk

Posted by: JackStraw at May 12, 2026 10:38 PM (viF8m)

82 Dishwashers are amazing. You can go from doing dishes, to cleaning gun and car parts, to making boiled dinner in it.

The "energy saver" function most modern dishwashers have makes it difficult to do all three in one day though... really long cycles.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at May 12, 2026 10:38 PM (/lPRQ)

83 75 I saw a pheasant on the roadside coming home from gassing the car up in town.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 12, 2026 10:36 PM (95Ab

The pheasant must have gotten some bad gas if he was stuck on the side of the road in his car.

Posted by: a.moron at May 12, 2026 10:38 PM (X5Jzz)

84 Enguerrand VII de Coucy
@ingelramdecoucy
EXCLUSIVE: Chilling accounts out of Israel of the IDF training sharks to come onto land to devour Palestinians in their homes, often gaining access by posing as innocuous candygram or pizza deliverers

So far I’ve got 14 sources confirming this, working to lock down more
1:22 PM · May 12, 2026
======

OMG!!

Posted by: Nicholas Kristof at May 12, 2026 10:39 PM (RIvkX)

85 > RIP Donald "Ogre" Gibb.
----
aw man...

Posted by: Don Blackopocat�petl at May 12, 2026 10:39 PM (ZxPkt)

86 39 I'm wondering what rock makes up that pale outcrop in the middle distance? Maybe some Cretaceous or Tertiary shale deposited on the more ancient sandstones that make up the buttes?
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 12, 2026 10:26 PM (95Ab

I travelled that road many years ago, don't remember the pale rock.

Posted by: Joemarine at May 12, 2026 10:39 PM (y171U)

87 Does Homely Troll ever post under his/her own nic? Don't think I've ever seen it.
Posted by: LRob in OK

I assume the unfamiliar names near the top of the sock list every week are (oftw2) and (TbWk/) , neither of whom seems to have a regular nickname. New joke sockpuppet for every comment.

I wouldn't have that kind of dedication to the bit.

*nods*

Respect.

Posted by: mikeski at May 12, 2026 10:39 PM (VHUov)

88 Cascade dish soap gives them extra flavor.

Posted by: wth at May 12, 2026 10:40 PM (oq9dX)

89 I travelled that road many years ago, don't remember the pale rock.
Posted by: Joemarine at May 12, 2026 10:39 PM (y171U)

What about his brother, Falling Rock? I keep seeing signs telling me to watch for him.

Posted by: OrangeEnt at May 12, 2026 10:40 PM (1Ff7Z)

90 photo at top is odd

Posted by: Don Black at May 12, 2026 10:40 PM (ZxPkt)

91 Enguerrand VII de Coucy
@ingelramdecoucy
EXCLUSIVE: Chilling accounts out of Israel of the IDF training sharks to come onto land to devour Palestinians in their homes, often gaining access by posing as innocuous candygram or pizza deliverers

So far I’ve got 14 sources confirming this, working to lock down more
1:22 PM · May 12, 2026
======

OMG!!
Posted by: Nicholas Kristof

But did they have fricken lasers on their fricken heads?

Posted by: BruceWayne at May 12, 2026 10:41 PM (YZ0Fo)

92 I spent 45 mins fucking around with all the sprinklers. I have it just right. No wasted water on the sidewalk. No water touching the house. All grass and plants getting covered evenly.

Ahhhhhhh. Beer time now.

Posted by: Heroq at May 12, 2026 10:35 PM (f2WBH)
====

Tee hee!

Posted by: Garden Gremlins and their henchmen, the Raccoons at May 12, 2026 10:41 PM (RIvkX)

93 Hello everyone. Hope you all had a great Tuesday.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at May 12, 2026 10:41 PM (CHHv1)

94 Cascade dish soap gives them extra flavor.

But does it keep the filter clean?

(Been watching way too much TV lately.)

Posted by: LRob in OK at May 12, 2026 10:41 PM (Jr+re)

95 84 Enguerrand VII de Coucy
@ingelramdecoucy
EXCLUSIVE: Chilling accounts out of Israel of the IDF training sharks to come onto land to devour Palestinians in their homes, often gaining access by posing as innocuous candygram or pizza deliverers

So far I’ve got 14 sources confirming this, working to lock down more
1:22 PM · May 12, 2026
======

OMG!!

Posted by: Nicholas Kristof at May 12, 2026 10:39 PM (RIvkX)

Does this mean the Jooo weather machine creates Sharknados?

Posted by: a.moron at May 12, 2026 10:41 PM (X5Jzz)

96 Dishwashers are amazing. You can go from doing dishes, to cleaning gun and car parts, to making boiled dinner in it.

The "energy saver" function most modern dishwashers have makes it difficult to do all three in one day though... really long cycles.
Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher

Low and slow. 👍

Posted by: mikeski at May 12, 2026 10:41 PM (VHUov)

97 JET COVER-UP China KNEW pilot deliberately crashed Boeing 737 into mountain at 350mph killing 132 for four years, US probe reveals
https://t.co/i4M3Fq9VhP
China Eastern Airlines Flight 5735 smashed into a mountain at 350mph in Guangxi after the captain intentionally brought down the aircraft, newly surfaced data reveals.
Chinese authorities have known for four years that a pilot deliberately crashed, US authorities claim...took place after one of the three airmen on board shut down both engines & turned off auto-pilot...
Suppressive Chinese authorities claimed last year that releasing information related to the disaster could “endanger national security & social stability”.
...Intentionally crashing has proved to be one of the leading causes of plane disasters in recent years, reports say. It was the second most common cause of plane deaths from 2011 to 2020, Bloomberg reported.

Posted by: BetaCuck4Lyfe at May 12, 2026 10:41 PM (9aVck)

98 Doof, if someone has put together the content for an ONT, who should it get sent to?

I have one that could be used as a filler for most weekdays. You know, when life gets really busy and the content search time isn't there.

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at May 12, 2026 10:42 PM (qx7Zg)

99 Does Cascade come in different flavors?

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 12, 2026 10:42 PM (Cqx++)

100 Low and slow. 👍
Posted by: mikeski at

That is the tempo.

Posted by: BruceWayne at May 12, 2026 10:42 PM (YZ0Fo)

101 Does Cascade come in different flavors?
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr.

Just regular and lemon, I think.

Posted by: mikeski at May 12, 2026 10:43 PM (VHUov)

102 *Puts on hat*

Posted by: Perry the Platapus at May 12, 2026 10:44 PM (+0Wk3)

103 Speaking of spies, that Chinese mayor who admitted to spying? Behold the power of filters.

What you think she looks like:

https://tinyurl.com/4zz5kfbz

What she really looks like:

https://tinyurl.com/bdefeuy5

Posted by: OrangeEnt at May 12, 2026 10:44 PM (1Ff7Z)

104 Top pic could be a 1500 piece jigsaw puzzle.

Posted by: Count de Monetl at May 12, 2026 10:44 PM (wVcYX)

105 So I pulled into a Shell station
They said I'd blown a seal
I said, "Fix the damn thing
And leave my private life out of it
Okay pal?"
Posted by: Tonypete

I wouldn't tell people about that. PETA is going to come after you for animal abuse.

Posted by: nerdygirl at May 12, 2026 10:44 PM (0Htd1)

106 Just don't put the buns in there too.

Posted by: wth at May 12, 2026 10:45 PM (oq9dX)

107 Now this is a really good gag that's been running for 50+ years on approach to Milwaukee's airport.

https://youtu.be/eKlOY5wPS9U

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at May 12, 2026 10:46 PM (qx7Zg)

108 Doof -

I realize you aren't a fan but if you're wondering how some of us are and how a guitar sold for $11.5 million this is a pretty good example. Jerry had just received Tiger a couple months prior and you can tell he loved it.

I recommend turning it to 11.

https://tinyurl.com/2mj97dxk
Posted by: JackStraw at May 12, 2026 10:38 PM (viF8m)

I will certainly give it an open minded listen!

Posted by: Doof at May 12, 2026 10:46 PM (QMAsf)

109 photo at top is odd
Posted by: Don Black

It's actually uphill all the way as far as you can see.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at May 12, 2026 10:47 PM (/lPRQ)

110 Dishwashers are amazing.

They prefer to be called ladies.

Show some respect.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at May 12, 2026 10:47 PM (s522d)

111 Triumph! They had a string of great albums in the late 70s & into the 80s. Emmet had a hell of a voice. Great band.

Posted by: Puddleglum, cheer up for the worst is yet to come at May 12, 2026 10:47 PM (sAmhv)

112
Grilled hotdogs are the best.

Leftovers, chop up the weiners and make beanie weinies.

Posted by: four seasons at May 12, 2026 10:48 PM (3ek7K)

113 hypothetically speaking, if US is to kinetically negotiate with Iran upon Trump's return from Chi-na.....does "Operation Sledgehammer" for such an effort sound cool, or what ?

Posted by: runner at May 12, 2026 10:48 PM (GD0B3)

114 Dishwashers are amazing.

They prefer to be called ladies.

Show some respect.
Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls

Reminds me of a joke

Why are wedding dresses white?

So she'll match the other appliances.

Posted by: BruceWayne at May 12, 2026 10:48 PM (YZ0Fo)

115 Where is Forest Gump in that photo?

Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at May 12, 2026 10:48 PM (qrzX6)

116 Ring-necked Pheasants are non-native, or invasive, if you will. First brought from Asia around 1880 for hunting. They are very successful and are the State Bird of South Dakota. The place I saw the most pheasants at once was Riverdale in the Bronx in several parks with a lot of underbrush leading down to the Hudson. I'd walk a neighbors dog and she would flush out sometimes 8 or 9 per walk. They would skitter through the brush until the doggie got close.

Posted by: Pheasant Dreams at May 12, 2026 10:48 PM (oftw2)

117 Doof, if someone has put together the content for an ONT, who should it get sent to?

I have one that could be used as a filler for most weekdays. You know, when life gets really busy and the content search time isn't there.
Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at May 12, 2026 10:42 PM (qx7Zg)

You can send it to me at the email I list at the end of every ONT. I'll make sure it gets to the proper authorities!

Posted by: Doof at May 12, 2026 10:48 PM (QMAsf)

118 100 Low and slow. 👍
Posted by: mikeski at

That is the tempo.

Posted by: BruceWayne at May 12, 2026 10:42 PM
***
I suppose now you're going to tell me that White Castle fries only come in one size.

Posted by: TRex - MC dino at May 12, 2026 10:50 PM (Gk7QD)

119 Every hotdog I've made in the last decade have been in the microwave.

Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at May 12, 2026 10:50 PM (qrzX6)

120 ...Intentionally crashing has proved to be one of the leading causes of plane disasters in recent years, reports say. It was the second most common cause of plane deaths from 2011 to 2020, Bloomberg reported.
Posted by: BetaCuck4Lyfe

===

They could go back to 2001, or earlier and have ever more profound results.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at May 12, 2026 10:51 PM (/lPRQ)

121 100 Low and slow. 👍
Posted by: mikeski at

That is the tempo.
Posted by: BruceWayne at May 12, 2026 10:42 PM (YZ0Fo)

*Looks through Beastie Boys albums*

Posted by: Perry the Platapus at May 12, 2026 10:51 PM (+0Wk3)

122
Speaking of spies, that Chinese mayor who admitted to spying? Behold the power of filters.

What you think she looks like:

____________

https://tinyurl.com/mpjn2cak

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 12, 2026 10:51 PM (HdYcL)

123 US is to kinetically negotiate with Iran upon Trump's return from Chi-na.....does "Operation Sledgehammer" for such an effort sound cool, or what ?
Posted by: runner at May 12, 2026 10:48 PM (GD0B3)

Trust him, he knows what he's doing.

Posted by: OrangeEnt at May 12, 2026 10:51 PM (1Ff7Z)

124 I chuckled, the wife didn't. Maybe she didn't get the joke.

Posted by: I used to have a different nic at May 12, 2026 10:25 PM (ExV1e)
--------
Same here.

Posted by: 496 at May 12, 2026 10:51 PM (sOtuf)

125 Top 10 sockpuppeteers…
8 [33 names] 'mindful webworker - mountaining'
9 [29 names] 'mindful webworker - gosh darn'

Well, this is odd. Someone else using my nic! Which one am I?? It's a virtual existential delemmer.

Butt serially, if you add 'em up, I'd be up at #4. Which I think may be as high up on the sockpuppet list as I've ever registered.

The program that counts nics obviously has a bug. But understandable, as it might be hard to differentiate names v just adding up hashtags.

Mostly, though, the program owes an apology to whomever was #11.

Posted by: mindful webworker - but, who's counting, eh? at May 12, 2026 10:51 PM (tlr+e)

126 You can steam fish in the dishwasher too. It actually works.
Posted by: BruceWayne

You can use it to clean the lane oil off your bowling ball, too.

Think I'll stick to washing dishes in mine.
Posted by: mikeski at May 12, 2026 10:33 PM (VHUov)

Clean your dishwasher-safe sex toys too, I'm led to understand.

Posted by: Count de Monetl at May 12, 2026 10:52 PM (wVcYX)

127 Does this mean the Jooo weather machine creates Sharknados?
Posted by: a.moron at May 12, 2026 10:41 PM (X5Jzz)
=====

TBH there may or may not be weather machines.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at May 12, 2026 10:52 PM (RIvkX)

128 Speaking of spies, that Chinese mayor who admitted to spying? Behold the power of filters.

What you think she looks like:
https://tinyurl.com/4zz5kfbz
What she really looks like:
https://tinyurl.com/bdefeuy5
Posted by: OrangeEnt
===

It's like computerized Beer Goggles.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at May 12, 2026 10:53 PM (/lPRQ)

129
I chuckled, the wife didn't. Maybe she didn't get the joke.

__________

Her Majesty would clang a cast-iron frying pan off my cranium.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 12, 2026 10:53 PM (HdYcL)

130 75 I saw a pheasant on the roadside coming home from gassing the car up in town.

And how the pheasant gassed the car up I'll never know

Posted by: Groucho Azjaeger at May 12, 2026 10:53 PM (3/XaG)

131 111 Triumph! They had a string of great albums in the late 70s & into...
---

Fast motorcycles too.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at May 12, 2026 10:53 PM (nBZd4)

132 100 Low and slow. 👍
Posted by: mikeski at

That's what she said

Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at May 12, 2026 10:54 PM (qrzX6)

133 Clean your dishwasher-safe sex toys too, I'm led to understand.
Posted by: Count de Monet

The ones that plug in doesn't work so well.

Posted by: BruceWayne at May 12, 2026 10:54 PM (YZ0Fo)

134 >>> 125
==
Mostly, though, the program owes an apology to whomever was #11.
Posted by: mindful webworker - but, who's counting, eh? at May 12, 2026 10:51 PM (tlr+e)

What's wrong with 11?

Posted by: Nigel Tufnel at May 12, 2026 10:54 PM (Ra+Eb)

135 It's like computerized Beer Goggles.
Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at May 12, 2026 10:53 PM (/lPRQ)

And she certainly doesn't look like what Hadrian posted!

Posted by: OrangeEnt at May 12, 2026 10:54 PM (1Ff7Z)

136 Every hotdog I've made in the last decade have been in the microwave.
Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at May 12, 2026 10:50 PM (qrzX6)
====
Do you live in North Korea?

Posted by: San Franpsycho at May 12, 2026 10:56 PM (RIvkX)

137 If I decide to steam some hot dogs in my dishwasher, what type detergent should be used?
Posted by: LRob in OK

Be sure to add that rinse stuff that leaves wieners spotless.

Posted by: mindful webworker - follow for more dangerous suggestions at May 12, 2026 10:57 PM (tlr+e)

138 .131 111 Triumph! They had a string of great albums in the late 70s & into...
---

Fast motorcycles too.

And a good run as a TV insult dog puppet comic

Posted by: Groucho Azjaeger at May 12, 2026 10:57 PM (3/XaG)

139 Clean your dishwasher-safe sex toys too, I'm led to understand.
Posted by: Count de Monet

The ones that plug in doesn't work so well.
Posted by: BruceWayne

I haven't done any market research but sex toys unsafe in wet locations is prolly asking for a lawsuit.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at May 12, 2026 10:57 PM (/lPRQ)

140
Spotted dick is dangerous.

Posted by: four seasons at May 12, 2026 10:57 PM (3ek7K)

141 I've never listened to Rage Against the Machine but I guess one of their guys was featured at an anti-ICE protest in NYC.

Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at May 12, 2026 10:58 PM (qrzX6)

142 Triumph! They had a string of great albums in the late 70s & into...
---

Fast motorcycles too.

Posted by: Braenyard
------

I find my R/S 955 very satisfactory.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 12, 2026 10:58 PM (XeU6L)

143 Former congresswoman and unattractive female ditches USA for Costa Rica and tries to act like her bete noir, President Trump, but just seems a pathetic name caller.

https://tinyurl.com/mrm6tbbf

Posted by: OrangeEnt at May 12, 2026 10:58 PM (1Ff7Z)

144
So do you put them in the top rack? Or on end in the utensil basket?

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 12, 2026 10:58 PM (HdYcL)

145 I think Triumph is actually out there playing again.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 12, 2026 10:59 PM (snZF9)

146 "They can be catastrophically wrong, but still keep their careers."

That is a great line summing up leftist "thinkers."

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Not Exactly Streets Ahead at May 12, 2026 10:59 PM (0aYVJ)

147 I've never listened to Rage Against the Machine but I guess one of their guys was featured at an anti-ICE protest in NYC.
Posted by: Harry Vandenburg

They are forever to be known as Rage for the Machine

Posted by: BruceWayne at May 12, 2026 10:59 PM (YZ0Fo)

148 You can warm the buns in the clothes dryer.

Posted by: wth at May 12, 2026 10:59 PM (oq9dX)

149
Hadrian,

Women know where to put them.

Posted by: four seasons at May 12, 2026 10:59 PM (3ek7K)

150 Posted by: Bulgtl
Posted by: Don Blackopocat�petl
Posted by: Count de Monetl

I'm feeling left out.

But now my name looks like mike-skittle. I don't even like Skittles that much.

Posted by: mikeskitl at May 12, 2026 10:59 PM (VHUov)

151 Do you live in North Korea?
Posted by: San Franpsycho at May 12, 2026 10:56 PM (

If I did I would be a king. They wish they had hot dogs.

Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at May 12, 2026 11:00 PM (qrzX6)

152 An old friend of mine, now deceased, was always a 4-H kind of guy, even though we grew up in northern suburbs of NYC. He had an incubator and was always hatching weird foul, ducks, geese, guinea fowl, etc. He also hatched and kept Golden Pheasants and had a bunch of them. We released about 20 of them in a couple hundred acre park with a swamp, lake, grasslands. It became a thriving community.
There are many feral tribes of these birds all over the US, most escapes, though many from other nuts like my friend John. They are a striking looking bird.

Posted by: RIP John Capuano 1957-2010 at May 12, 2026 11:00 PM (oftw2)

153 So do you put them in the top rack? Or on end in the utensil basket?
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh

Woulda assume it depends on the size.

Posted by: BruceWayne at May 12, 2026 11:00 PM (YZ0Fo)

154 They may keep their careers but they would lose their heads pretty fast should their compatriots ever have enough power.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at May 12, 2026 11:00 PM (RIvkX)

155 The 4 Corners area is spectacular and unique, with the possible exception of Mars.

Fiendishly hot in the summer months tho. I’ve always been appreciative of Injuns and settlers and pioneers who scratched out a living in such inhospitable places without benefit of modern technology and creature comforts and the rest of it. They were tough SOBs, they had to be.

Posted by: Common Tater at May 12, 2026 11:01 PM (/4VRy)

156 141 I've never listened to Rage Against the Machine but I guess one of their guys was featured at an anti-ICE protest in NYC.
Posted by: Harry Vandenburg

Rage For the Machine.

Posted by: Puddleglum, cheer up for the worst is yet to come at May 12, 2026 11:01 PM (sAmhv)

157 119 Every hotdog I've made in the last decade have been in the microwave.
Posted by: Harry Vandenburg

I also do corn on the cob in the microwave. Grilling or boiling corn on the cob is too much bother for one cob.

Posted by: nerdygirl at May 12, 2026 11:02 PM (0Htd1)

158 I guess I'd better pick up some hot dogs next trip to grocery store . . . . . the things I learn here!

Posted by: LRob in OK at May 12, 2026 11:03 PM (Jr+re)

159 Damn, now I want a hot dog. With mustard.

Posted by: Bulgtl at May 12, 2026 11:03 PM (77rzZ)

160 also do corn on the cob in the microwave. Grilling or boiling corn on the cob is too much bother for one cob.
Posted by: nerdygirl at

Air fryer.

Posted by: BruceWayne at May 12, 2026 11:03 PM (YZ0Fo)

161 I've never listened to Rage Against the Machine but I guess one of their guys was featured at an anti-ICE protest in NYC.
Posted by: Harry Vandenburg

They are forever to be known as Rage for the Machine

Posted by: BruceWayne at May 12, 2026 10:59 PM (YZ0Fo)

I don't listen to those jerkoffs. Probably wouldn't recognize a single song.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 12, 2026 11:03 PM (snZF9)

162 You can send it to me at the email I list at the end of every ONT. I'll make sure it gets to the proper authorities!
Posted by: Doof at May 12, 2026 10:48 PM (QMAsf)

I'll send it tomorrow. I'm on the wrong device right now.

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at May 12, 2026 11:03 PM (qx7Zg)

163 Top 10 sockpuppeteers…
8 [33 names] 'mindful webworker - mountaining'
9 [29 names] 'mindful webworker - gosh darn'

Well, this is odd. Someone else using my nic! Which one am I?? It's a virtual existential delemmer.

You're beside yourself!

Butt serially,

.....said Pete Bootygig.....

if you add 'em up, I'd be up at #4. Which I think may be as high up on the sockpuppet list as I've ever registered.

The program that counts nics obviously has a bug. But understandable, as it might be hard to differentiate names v just adding up hashtags.

This was discussed a while back. That is what it does; counts posts from a particular hash, and assigns the most-frequently-used nickname to it.

Mostly, though, the program owes an apology to whomever was #11.
Posted by: mindful webworker

Ninth or tenth loser doesn't really matter, does it?

Posted by: mikeskitl, fifth loser at May 12, 2026 11:03 PM (VHUov)

164 >>Rage For the Machine.

Potato - Carrots

Posted by: JackStraw at May 12, 2026 11:04 PM (viF8m)

165 Microwave ovens are a wretched device. Tongue burning rubber food generator. OK for re-heating a cup of coffee.

Posted by: Common Tater at May 12, 2026 11:04 PM (/4VRy)

166 145 I think Triumph is actually out there playing again.
Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division

They are. I did a search and its there 50th anniversary so they're touring. Rick Emmet is still lead singer too. Wonder if his pipes have survived. He could belt out songs with the best of them when he was younger.

Posted by: Puddleglum, cheer up for the worst is yet to come at May 12, 2026 11:04 PM (sAmhv)

167 Johnny Somali Update

His lawyer has quit so now the nuisance streamer has to depend upon a public defender.

Posted by: Anna Puma at May 12, 2026 11:04 PM (2GVsD)

168 You could probably cook corned beef and cabbage in the microwave, but it might take ten cycles.

Posted by: Potatoes, Too at May 12, 2026 11:05 PM (oftw2)

169 I don't listen to those jerkoffs. Probably wouldn't recognize a single song.
Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division

I'd bet you'd at least recognize killing in the name of or people of the Sun.

Posted by: BruceWayne at May 12, 2026 11:05 PM (YZ0Fo)

170 ...and the manager of the pheasant ranch told the young pregnant woman, "Yes, Darren did use to work for us. He was a pheasant plucker."

"He certainly was", she sighed.

Posted by: just the punchline at May 12, 2026 11:05 PM (95Ab8)

171 The ones that plug in doesn't work so well.

Posted by: BruceWayne at May 12, 2026 10:54 PM (YZ0Fo)
------
Gas-powered ones are right out!

Posted by: 496 at May 12, 2026 11:05 PM (sOtuf)

172 Reminds me of a joke

Why are wedding dresses white?

So she'll match the other appliances.
Posted by: BruceWayne at May 12, 2026 10:48 PM (YZ0Fo)

Aaaaand there ended their sex life entirely.

Posted by: tcn in AK at May 12, 2026 11:05 PM (DwqWV)

173 Adding itl makes my nic sound like a pharmaceutical product.

"Take two doses of trexitl twice a day to treat short arm syndrome. Results may vary."

Posted by: Trexitl at May 12, 2026 11:06 PM (Gk7QD)

174 Hubby onced washed his baseball caps in the dishwasher, top rack.
I was so freaked out when I opened the dishwasher in the morning.

Posted by: vmom deport deport deport at May 12, 2026 11:06 PM (fE6HJ)

175 Fuck you, I won't do what you tell me
Unless you're a big government bureaucrat

Posted by: Home, home on the rage at May 12, 2026 11:06 PM (s522d)

176 Thanks Doof!
Always enjoy the musical interludes. They coax me out of my “80s rock is the best” box.
Now do Inside Out by XYZ.
They arrived very late, but were awesome. Grunge stole all of the oxygen out of the room, so they never got traction. Sad!
And “What keeps me loving you” is one of their best, and a hidden gem.

Posted by: Gunslinger at May 12, 2026 11:07 PM (HZfH/)

177 Johnny Somali Update

His lawyer has quit so now the nuisance streamer has to depend upon a public defender.
Posted by: Anna Puma

Dang, and I sent the world's smallest violin in to get re-strung.

Posted by: mikeskitl at May 12, 2026 11:07 PM (VHUov)

178 Fuck you I won't do what you tell me
Fuck you, do what I tell you

Posted by: Rage 'against' the Machine at May 12, 2026 11:08 PM (gKWVE)

179 Hubby onced washed his baseball caps in the dishwasher, top rack.
I was so freaked out when I opened the dishwasher in the morning.
Posted by: vmom deport deport deport

I tried that in hs. It ruins the hats. Just wear em dirty til they disintegrate.

Posted by: BruceWayne at May 12, 2026 11:08 PM (YZ0Fo)

180 Hubby onced washed his baseball caps in the dishwasher, top rack.
I was so freaked out when I opened the dishwasher in the morning.
Posted by: vmom

"The heads shrunk so much they washed down the drain?!?"

Posted by: mikeskitl at May 12, 2026 11:08 PM (VHUov)

181 They were tough SOBs, they had to be.

Posted by: Common Tater at May 12, 2026 11:01 PM (/4VRy)
-------
I often wonder how the hell they did it.

Even more so, I wonder WHY they did it. If I had it that rough I think I'd just end it all

Posted by: 496 at May 12, 2026 11:08 PM (sOtuf)

182 Didn't Rage Against The Machine make COVID vaccine ads, or am I thinking of some other suck-ups?

Posted by: Potatoes, Too at May 12, 2026 11:09 PM (oftw2)

183 Back to our usual programming...

Posted by: TRex - OG dino at May 12, 2026 11:10 PM (Gk7QD)

184 One of those RATM clowns did something amazing during the last fascist, worst than Hitler GOP administration, GWBush. He was decrying Heir Bush at some news conference and on either side of him were huge pictures of Mao and Lenin. It was perfect!

Posted by: Puddleglum, cheer up for the worst is yet to come at May 12, 2026 11:10 PM (sAmhv)

185 Fuck you I won't do what you tell me
Fuck you, do what I tell you
Posted by: Rage 'against' the Machine

I won't work on tom loads ranch no more.
Unless the president tells me.

Posted by: BruceWayne at May 12, 2026 11:10 PM (YZ0Fo)

186
73 The "Schiff is an actual Benedict Arnold Traitor" story today is still mind-blowing.
Posted by: LASue at May 12, 2026 10:26 PM (lCppi)

They even look alike!
Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at May 12, 2026 10:35 PM

---------

From all surviving accounts, Benedict Arnold was not a bug-eyed pencil neck.

Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at May 12, 2026 11:10 PM (VWtfl)

187 I'd bet you'd at least recognize killing in the name of or people of the Sun.

Posted by: BruceWayne at May 12, 2026 11:05 PM (YZ0Fo)

Probably not. I don't listen to radio.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 12, 2026 11:11 PM (snZF9)

188 One of those RATM clowns did something amazing during the last fascist, worst than Hitler GOP administration, GWBush. He was decrying Heir Bush at some news conference and on either side of him were huge pictures of Mao and Lenin. It was perfect!
Posted by: Puddleglum,

They were always communist nepo babies.

Posted by: BruceWayne at May 12, 2026 11:11 PM (YZ0Fo)

189 Just pulled up some Rage Against the Machine songs. Are they a Beastie Boys cover band?

Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at May 12, 2026 11:11 PM (qrzX6)

190 Meteorologist
Economist
Politicians
Teachers

They are allowed to be wrong for
EVER
Missed that storm
Kids cannot read
Road to nowhere

We will do better next time

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Posted by: r hennigantx at May 12, 2026 11:11 PM (/+uur)

191 Thanks Doof!
Always enjoy the musical interludes. They coax me out of my “80s rock is the best” box.
Now do Inside Out by XYZ.
They arrived very late, but were awesome. Grunge stole all of the oxygen out of the room, so they never got traction. Sad!
And “What keeps me loving you” is one of their best, and a hidden gem.
Posted by: Gunslinger at May 12, 2026 11:07 PM (HZfH/)

I will check out XYZ. Thanks!

Posted by: Doof at May 12, 2026 11:12 PM (QMAsf)

192 [First day as a museum tour guide]
Kid: how can we tell how old a dinosaur is
Me: you must first ask yourself, "does that dinosaur have 3 butts?"
Kid: umm no
Me: then we can rule out the Triassic Period

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at May 12, 2026 11:12 PM (qx7Zg)

193 Air fryer.
Posted by: BruceWayne

Oh, yeah. That's that thing sitting on my counter.

Posted by: nerdygirl at May 12, 2026 11:12 PM (0Htd1)

194 Just pulled up some Rage Against the Machine songs. Are they a Beastie Boys cover band?
Posted by: Harry Vandenburg

No they were mid 90s "metal" commie nepo babies.

Posted by: BruceWayne at May 12, 2026 11:13 PM (YZ0Fo)

195 Oh, yeah. That's that thing sitting on my counter.
Posted by: nerdygirl

Do it. Like 6-8 min comes out perfect.

Posted by: BruceWayne at May 12, 2026 11:13 PM (YZ0Fo)

196 Tom Morello is an insufferable marxist a***ole and wildly overrated.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at May 12, 2026 11:13 PM (XV/Pl)

197 182 Didn't Rage Against The Machine make COVID vaccine ads, or am I thinking of some other suck-ups?
Posted by: Potatoes, Too at May 12, 2026 11:09 PM (oftw2)

They would not allow people in without the card and mask

Dues es machina

Posted by: r hennigantx at May 12, 2026 11:14 PM (/+uur)

198 Hubby onced washed his baseball caps in the dishwasher, top rack.
I was so freaked out when I opened the dishwasher in the morning.
Posted by: vmom deport deport deport

I tried that in hs. It ruins the hats. Just wear em dirty til they disintegrate.
Posted by: BruceWayne at May 12, 2026 11:08 PM (YZ0Fo)

Take an old toothbrush and some laundry detergent to it under the shower. Let it air dry on the faucet handle for several hours / overnight. Do it BEFORE seeing any sweat rings.

Posted by: Doof at May 12, 2026 11:14 PM (QMAsf)

199 Just pulled up some Rage Against the Machine songs. Are they a Beastie Boys cover band?
Posted by: Harry Vandenburg

No they were mid 90s "metal" commie nepo babies.
Posted by: BruceWayne

They then broke up and the entire group teamed up with Chris Cornell to make audioslave. Who made some great music.

Posted by: BruceWayne at May 12, 2026 11:15 PM (YZ0Fo)

200 From all surviving accounts, Benedict Arnold was not a bug-eyed pencil neck.
Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug

Neither did he have a cock-shaped mouf, nor give off the vibe of a pedo.

Posted by: Drink Like Vikings at May 12, 2026 11:15 PM (vRHNu)

201 Why would anyone wash headgear? Hats and caps are supposed to get worn and weathered.

Posted by: Bulgtl at May 12, 2026 11:15 PM (77rzZ)

202 Take an old toothbrush and some laundry detergent to it under the shower. Let it air dry on the faucet handle for several hours / overnight. Do it BEFORE seeing any sweat rings.
Posted by: Doof at

But then what's the point if the hat doesn't have swear rings?

Posted by: BruceWayne at May 12, 2026 11:16 PM (YZ0Fo)

203 Hubby onced washed his baseball caps in the dishwasher, top rack.
I was so freaked out when I opened the dishwasher in the morning.
Posted by: vmom deport deport deport at May 12, 2026 11:06 PM (fE6HJ)

It's an old Arizona trick, tho' I've heard of people doing it as far north as Nebraska.

Posted by: OrangeEnt at May 12, 2026 11:16 PM (1Ff7Z)

204 Not a rap fan but Beastie Boys 'Sabotage' is a great song! Probably the only rap I like. The music video is perfect. They all looked like they were having fun spoofing early 70s cop movies.

Posted by: Puddleglum, cheer up for the worst is yet to come at May 12, 2026 11:16 PM (sAmhv)

205 >>Hubby onced washed his baseball caps in the dishwasher, top rack.
I was so freaked out when I opened the dishwasher in the morning.

I'm a bit freaked out just reading that. Run them under a hot tap with some soap.

They aren't a biohazard.

Posted by: JackStraw at May 12, 2026 11:17 PM (viF8m)

206 I wash my caps with a hose outside and hang them on hooks to dry. I must have at least 30 caps I rotate to wear for tennis and golf.

Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at May 12, 2026 11:18 PM (qrzX6)

207 I'm a bit freaked out just reading that. Run them under a hot tap with some soap.

They aren't a biohazard.
Posted by: JackStraw

In the mid late 90s the made hat savers that you used to was them in the dishwasher. It turned out awful.

Posted by: BruceWayne at May 12, 2026 11:18 PM (YZ0Fo)

208
I'm getting in on the Aztec fun.

Posted by: Blonde Mortixtl at May 12, 2026 11:18 PM (XJ22o)

209 Take an old toothbrush and some laundry detergent to it under the shower. Let it air dry on the faucet handle for several hours / overnight. Do it BEFORE seeing any sweat rings.
Posted by: Doof at May 12, 2026 11:14 PM (QMAsf)

I threw a very dirty ball cap into the washer. Turned out fine, but some of the interlining of the sweat band disintegrated. I'm thinking a line of hot glue will fix it.

Posted by: just the punchline at May 12, 2026 11:19 PM (95Ab8)

210 a bit freaked out just reading that. Run them under a hot tap with some soap.

They aren't a biohazard.
Posted by: JackStraw

In the mid late 90s the made hat savers that you used to was them in the dishwasher. It turned out awful.
Posted by: BruceWayne

Also the hats I wore playing baseball would disagree.

Posted by: BruceWayne at May 12, 2026 11:19 PM (YZ0Fo)

211 I suppose because they didn’t know anything else, it was all they were used to. If you carry that logic forward, people in the future will probably marvel at all the bullshit we have to put up with now.

Posted by: Common Tater at May 12, 2026 11:19 PM (/4VRy)

212
The economy is great!!

Throw away the dirty caps and buy new ones.

Follow my advice. My car has a flat tire and I'm gonna trade it in tomorrow.

Posted by: four seasons at May 12, 2026 11:19 PM (3ek7K)

213 Not a rap fan but Beastie Boys 'Sabotage' is a great song! Probably the only rap I like. The music video is perfect. They all looked like they were having fun spoofing early 70s cop movies.
Posted by: Puddleglum, cheer up for the worst is yet to come at May 12, 2026 11:16 PM (sAmhv)

I was snarking of course but RATM did remind me of an angrier Beastie Boys style.

Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at May 12, 2026 11:20 PM (qrzX6)

214 208 LOL

Posted by: Bulgtl at May 12, 2026 11:20 PM (77rzZ)

215
Meteorologists deserve a break, I think. They know and admit that forecasting weather is inexact and that they speak in probabilities.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 12, 2026 11:21 PM (HdYcL)

216 196 Tom Morello is an insufferable marxist a***ole and wildly overrated.
Posted by: Thomas Bender

That's the guy. He's the one who did that news conference, with Mao and Lenin portraits on either side of him, decrying McChimpyBushHitler. Again, it was perfect!

Posted by: Puddleglum, cheer up for the worst is yet to come at May 12, 2026 11:21 PM (sAmhv)

217 Throw away the dirty caps and buy new ones.

Follow my advice. My car has a flat tire and I'm gonna trade it in tomorrow.

Posted by: four seasons

Never you earn that dirty hat. It has stories.

Posted by: BruceWayne at May 12, 2026 11:21 PM (YZ0Fo)

218 Real men wear hats, with brims. Not ballcaps.

Posted by: Bulgtl at May 12, 2026 11:22 PM (77rzZ)

219 SpaceX Starship launch planned for May 19. 5:30pm CT

Posted by: TRex - orbital dino at May 12, 2026 11:23 PM (Gk7QD)

220 199:Chris Cornell could sing. He improved most bands that way.

Posted by: Puddleglum, cheer up for the worst is yet to come at May 12, 2026 11:23 PM (sAmhv)

221
If you wash your balls in the dishwasher remember to cancel the drying cycle.

Posted by: four seasons at May 12, 2026 11:23 PM (3ek7K)

222 Decent caps ain't cheap any more.

Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at May 12, 2026 11:23 PM (qrzX6)

223 >>Also the hats I wore playing baseball would disagree.

I grew up playing baseball. And teaching diving and fishing and sailing. I've gone through a ton of hats.

It's just sweat and dirt. I don't throw out pants or shirts when they get dirty and sweaty, I wash them.

But not in the dishwasher. I'm not an animal. Not completely anyway.

Posted by: JackStraw at May 12, 2026 11:23 PM (viF8m)

224 Nathan Hale was hanged as a spy by the British. As he was being led to the gallows, he said “I regret that I have but one life to give for my country”.

Major Andre, the turncoat, thought he deserved a firing squad because he was an officer, and not the gibbet, but they hanged him.

Posted by: Common Tater at May 12, 2026 11:24 PM (/4VRy)

225 Never you earn that dirty hat. It has stories.
Posted by: BruceWayne

Too cheap to buy a new hat.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at May 12, 2026 11:24 PM (/lPRQ)

226 I figured May 12-13 was an ambitious target for Starship. 19 is fine.

Posted by: gKWVE at May 12, 2026 11:25 PM (gKWVE)

227 grew up playing baseball. And teaching diving and fishing and sailing. I've gone through a ton of hats.

It's just sweat and dirt. I don't throw out pants or shirts when they get dirty and sweaty, I wash them.

But not in the dishwasher. I'm not an animal. Not completely anyway.
Posted by: JackStraw

I never gave up a hat for a team even if played with them for 4 years. Superstition and I also hate new hats. Gotta break em in.

Posted by: BruceWayne at May 12, 2026 11:25 PM (YZ0Fo)

228 The Beastie Boys are what the promise of rap held, Paul's Boutique is a stellar album.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at May 12, 2026 11:25 PM (XV/Pl)

229 Attention gamers

May 27th, 1986, was the release date for Dragon Quest in Japan.

Posted by: Anna Puma at May 12, 2026 11:25 PM (2GVsD)

230 I'd love to see one of the Starship tests pop out a couple of warp-like nacelles, just to freak out the rest of the world.

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at May 12, 2026 11:26 PM (qx7Zg)

231
JackStraw,

I'm so disappointed you aren't an animal.

My fantasies just went out the window.

Posted by: four seasons at May 12, 2026 11:26 PM (3ek7K)

232 But then what's the point if the hat doesn't have swear rings?
Posted by: BruceWayne at May 12, 2026 11:16 PM (YZ0Fo)

None of my hats has a swear ring. I think they charge extra for that.

Posted by: tcn in AK at May 12, 2026 11:26 PM (DwqWV)

233 One, Two, 1, 2, 3, 4

www.youtube.com/watch?v=BBKk2EVvcJc

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at May 12, 2026 11:26 PM (aU1YS)

234 I'm getting in on the Aztec fun.
Posted by: Blonde Mortixtl

Posted by: Dark Lihuixtzichatl at May 12, 2026 11:27 PM (W5mpo)

235 None of my hats has a swear ring. I think they charge extra for that.
Posted by: tcn in AK

Maybe you swear less than me. It starts to soak in.

Posted by: BruceWayne at May 12, 2026 11:27 PM (YZ0Fo)

236 When they say “60% chance of rain”, the idea is, it’s gonna rain, over 60% of the forecast area. If it doesn’t rain where you happen to be, that doesn’t mean they were wrong.

Posted by: Common Tater at May 12, 2026 11:27 PM (/4VRy)

237 Headgear is washed by leaving it out in the rain and then air drying.

Article in the Seattle Times about how an ICE arrest at a Latin food store was having a chilling effect on regulars coming in. Excellent! Get the names of the regulars and have ICE pay them visits! Citizens have nothing to fear.

Posted by: The Man from Athens at May 12, 2026 11:28 PM (k0Wyd)

238 Posted by: Common Tater at May 12, 2026 11:24 PM (/4VRy)

You reminded me of one of my top five movie scenes. Not a good movie IMO but the scene in the Patriot where Mel Gibson goes to rescue his son captured by the British to be hung was awesome.

Aim small, miss small.

Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at May 12, 2026 11:28 PM (qrzX6)

239 They then broke up and the entire group teamed up with Chris Cornell to make audioslave. Who made some great music.
Posted by: BruceWayne at May 12, 2026 11:15 PM (YZ0Fo)

Rage Against the Garden.

Posted by: Reforger at May 12, 2026 11:28 PM (ZFqKB)

240

Take an old toothbrush and some laundry detergent to it under the shower. Let it air dry on the faucet handle for several hours / overnight. Do it BEFORE seeing any sweat rings.
Posted by: Doof

Are we still talking about hot dogs?

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 12, 2026 11:28 PM (Cqx++)

241 If you wash your balls in the dishwasher remember to cancel the drying cycle.
Posted by: four seasons

Seems like the door seal would be rather pinchy.

Also overkill, unless your balls are Trump-sized.

Posted by: mikeskitl at May 12, 2026 11:28 PM (VHUov)

242 Hey!
Having been run over by a golf cart once, that joke wasn't all that funny.
Well. Okay. It was. But getting run over was no fun. He'll alcohol wasn't even involved...yet.

Posted by: Diogenes at May 12, 2026 11:28 PM (2WIwB)

243 Air fryer.
Posted by: BruceWayne

Oh, yeah. That's that thing sitting on my counter.
Posted by: nerdygirl
......

They're great for re-gifting.

Posted by: wth at May 12, 2026 11:29 PM (oq9dX)

244 236 When they say “60% chance of rain”, the idea is, it’s gonna rain, over 60% of the forecast area. If it doesn’t rain where you happen to be, that doesn’t mean they were wrong.
Posted by: Common Tater at May 12, 2026 11:27 PM (/4VRy)

When they say "scattered showers," that means, "wherever DH is holding a softball bat."

Posted by: tcn in AK at May 12, 2026 11:29 PM (DwqWV)

245 High school football coach, ex-pro, wore the same tennis shoes he wore to work out as a pro to all his kids games (superstition). He had to sew parts of the shoes together.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at May 12, 2026 11:30 PM (aU1YS)

246 Hey!
Having been run over by a golf cart once, that joke wasn't all that funny.
Well. Okay. It was. But getting run over was no fun. He'll alcohol wasn't even involved...yet.
Posted by: Diogenes at

I wasn't run over. But lost one in a course pond. Yes alcohol was involved in that.

Posted by: BruceWayne at May 12, 2026 11:30 PM (YZ0Fo)

247 They are. I did a search and its there 50th anniversary so they're touring. Rick Emmet is still lead singer too. Wonder if his pipes have survived. He could belt out songs with the best of them when he was younger.

Posted by: Puddleglum, cheer up for the worst is yet to come at May 12, 2026 11:04 PM (sAmhv)

I think they are somewhat pretty intact...somewhat. I saw some recent rehearsal or show vid, which is why I was thinking they're out there again. Back in the day though, yeah he was the complete package, could sing like a motherfucker and could play as good too while singing.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 12, 2026 11:30 PM (snZF9)

248 Mariners win!

Posted by: nurse ratched at May 12, 2026 11:30 PM (A5RD0)

249 When they say “60% chance of rain”, the idea is, it’s gonna rain, over 60% of the forecast area. If it doesn’t rain where you happen to be, that doesn’t mean they were wrong.
Posted by: Common Tater

That's for microclimates.

In MN, that's "a 40% chance of nothing happening anywhere, and a 60% chance of a three-hundred-mile-long wall of clouds drowning all the frogs."

Posted by: mikeskitl at May 12, 2026 11:30 PM (VHUov)

250 DH's mom just left to go back to WI. She was here for a bit over a week. The visit was just long enough, I guess.

She believes that the government is rounding up all the brown and black skinned people and locking them up until they prove they are citizens.

I wish she would stop watching CBS News.

Posted by: tcn in AK at May 12, 2026 11:32 PM (DwqWV)

251 >>JackStraw,

>>I'm so disappointed

If I had a dollar for every time I've heard that I would have a lot of dollars.

Posted by: JackStraw at May 12, 2026 11:32 PM (viF8m)

252 221 If you wash your balls in the dishwasher remember to cancel the drying cycle.

Air drying works wonders. Careful with the door.

Posted by: The Man from Athens at May 12, 2026 11:33 PM (k0Wyd)

253
The best way to gauge your weather is to look out the windows in the morning.

Of course the weather will change in an hour.

Posted by: four seasons at May 12, 2026 11:33 PM (3ek7K)

254 248 Mariners win!
Posted by: nurse ratched at May 12, 2026 11:30 PM (A5RD0)

Woot!

I wish we could watch more of those games. MLB considers Alaska and Hawaii "in market" for the Mariners. Like I'm gonna just get in the car and head out to the game. So they don't let us watch them.

Posted by: tcn in AK at May 12, 2026 11:33 PM (DwqWV)

255 the colorado rockies look like they're probably not making the world series this year

Posted by: gKWVE at May 12, 2026 11:34 PM (gKWVE)

256 Thanks for the ONT.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 12, 2026 11:34 PM (bss/y)

257 WTH is a “swear ring?”

Posted by: Bulgtl at May 12, 2026 11:34 PM (77rzZ)

258 257 WTH is a “swear ring?”
Posted by: Bulgtl at May 12, 2026 11:34 PM (77rzZ)

If you wash your balls in the dishwasher, I suspect we will hear a lot of swear ring.

Posted by: tcn in AK at May 12, 2026 11:35 PM (DwqWV)

259 I wasn't run over. But lost one in a course pond. Yes alcohol was involved in that.
Posted by: BruceWayne at May 12, 2026 11:30 PM (YZ0Fo)

Excellent!!!
I usually just lose the ball in the water.

Posted by: Diogenes at May 12, 2026 11:35 PM (2WIwB)

260
Lol JackStraw..

Posted by: four seasons at May 12, 2026 11:35 PM (3ek7K)

261 Akira Toriyama died too young.

Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at May 12, 2026 11:37 PM (ZVgZ4)

262 Mariners win!
Posted by: nurse ratched

Did cal go 0fer again?

Posted by: BruceWayne at May 12, 2026 11:37 PM (YZ0Fo)

263 1st team in ALC: 23-21
5th/last team in NLC: 22-20

Make this make sense

Posted by: gKWVE at May 12, 2026 11:37 PM (gKWVE)

264 When they say “60% chance of rain”, the idea is, it’s gonna rain, over 60% of the forecast area. If it doesn’t rain where you happen to be, that doesn’t mean they were wrong.
Posted by: Common Tater

That's for microclimates.

In MN, that's "a 40% chance of nothing happening anywhere, and a 60% chance of a three-hundred-mile-long wall of clouds drowning all the frogs."
Posted by: mikeskitl

Lived in a couple places in Florida, one Gulf side one Atlantic. During rainy season pop up thunder storms have about 50% coverage. Raining like hell here. Drive a couple of miles, nothing, so on and so on. Totally random other than it will rain somewhere.
In Hawaii, it will rain the same place same time every day... or seem like it never rains. Except when a weather front comes through.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at May 12, 2026 11:38 PM (/lPRQ)

265 WTH is a “swear ring?”
Posted by: Bulgtl at May 12, 2026 11:34 PM (77rzZ)

If you wash your balls in the dishwasher, I suspect we will hear a lot of swear ring.
Posted by: tcn in AK at May 12, 2026 11:35 PM (DwqWV)

***

Same result washing your balls in the golf ball washer. Those bristles are a bitch and when you start turning the crank, look out!

Posted by: Diogenes at May 12, 2026 11:38 PM (2WIwB)

266 1st team in ALC: 23-21
5th/last team in NLC: 22-20

Make this make sense
Posted by: gKWVE at

Cause the nl central is good and the al central isn't?

Posted by: BruceWayne at May 12, 2026 11:38 PM (YZ0Fo)

267 Kat Timpf announced she lost her father z"l suddenly last Thursday night.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at May 12, 2026 11:39 PM (RIvkX)

268
We're "supposed " to get snow next week here in SW Wyoming.

We are off kilter with the lack of a real Wyoming winter.

Posted by: four seasons at May 12, 2026 11:40 PM (3ek7K)

269 Oof and her cat too. That girl has had a rough year.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at May 12, 2026 11:40 PM (RIvkX)

270 Wash your balls with soap and water in the shower or tub like the rest of the guys!

Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at May 12, 2026 11:40 PM (ZVgZ4)

271 I wish we could watch more of those games. MLB considers Alaska and Hawaii "in market" for the Mariners. Like I'm gonna just get in the car and head out to the game. So they don't let us watch them.
Posted by: tcn in AK

Oh, I can’t afford that internet subscription stuff. I listen to the games on. the radio. Our broadcasters are actually pretty good! I enjoy listening to them.

And BruceWayne, cal broke his 0-38 streak this evening. Poor guy can’t hit for shit this year. Oh well. Can’t break records every year. But, Jeepers, he’s awful.

Posted by: nurse ratched at May 12, 2026 11:40 PM (A5RD0)

272 Wash your balls with soap and water in the shower or tub like the rest of the guys!
Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit

Wait are we supposing to be doing this?

Posted by: BruceWayne at May 12, 2026 11:41 PM (YZ0Fo)

273 270 Wash your balls with soap and water in the shower or tub like the rest of the guys!
Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at May 12, 2026 11:40 PM (ZVgZ4)

---------

And dry on the line for best results.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at May 12, 2026 11:41 PM (JkO4W)

274 In MN, that's "a 40% chance of nothing happening anywhere, and a 60% chance of a three-hundred-mile-long wall of clouds drowning all the frogs."
Posted by: mikeskitl

Lived in a couple places in Florida, one Gulf side one Atlantic. During rainy season pop up thunder storms have about 50% coverage. Raining like hell here. Drive a couple of miles, nothing, so on and so on. Totally random other than it will rain somewhere.
In Hawaii, it will rain the same place same time every day... or seem like it never rains. Except when a weather front comes through.
Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher

The MN thing is always an interaction between air cycling up from the Gulf of America (warm, wet) and air blowing down from Canada (cold, dry). If the humidity and temperature difference is enough, the cold air can't hold the water, and whoosh! If not, it's partly cloudy today.

Posted by: mikeskitl at May 12, 2026 11:42 PM (VHUov)

275 Amazingly, The Mets are not the worst team in baseball, that honor goes to the Angels and The Stros.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at May 12, 2026 11:42 PM (XV/Pl)

276
Hanging out to dry??

That's illegal in some places.

Posted by: four seasons at May 12, 2026 11:42 PM (3ek7K)

277 And BruceWayne, cal broke his 0-38 streak this evening. Poor guy can’t hit for shit this year. Oh well. Can’t break records every year. But, Jeepers, he’s awful.
Posted by: nurse ratched

I knew he was gonna come back to earth this season. But yeesh didn't exactly think he'd be this bad. Tho WBC did kinda let ya know.

Posted by: BruceWayne at May 12, 2026 11:43 PM (YZ0Fo)

278 Wash your balls with soap and water in the shower or tub like the rest of the guys!
Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit
.......

Girlie magazine optional.

Posted by: wth at May 12, 2026 11:43 PM (oq9dX)

279 We are supposed to get thunderstorms in the next 18 hours or so.

Need the rain. Some late spring snow in the mountains would be nice too. It was 80 today. Gross. Just. Yuck.

Posted by: nurse ratched at May 12, 2026 11:44 PM (A5RD0)

280 wish we could watch more of those games. MLB considers Alaska and Hawaii "in market" for the Mariners. Like I'm gonna just get in the car and head out to the game. So they don't let us watch them.
Posted by: tcn in AK

I live in ok and only care about the cubs. I'm lucky if I get to see 8 games a year.

Posted by: BruceWayne at May 12, 2026 11:44 PM (YZ0Fo)

281 Do not listen to the noise
Listen to the sound

Gas is 2% of your budget
Taxes are 20% to 50%

Posted by: r hennigantx at May 12, 2026 11:44 PM (/+uur)

282 Take an old toothbrush and some laundry detergent to it under the shower. Let it air dry on the faucet handle for several hours / overnight. Do it BEFORE seeing any sweat rings.
Posted by: Doof at May 12, 2026 11:14 PM (QMAsf)

I keep a steel bowl in the shower and toss the sweaty cap in it when I come in from sweating through it. If I think of it I toss a bit of Boraxo in with the hat too, and rinse it out when I take a shower.
The thing my wife and I had to come to terms on is that I requested that she not toss her unmentionables in with my hat, she has to fish the hat out first.

Posted by: Kindltot at May 12, 2026 11:44 PM (rbvCR)

283 Why would anyone wash headgear? Hats and caps are supposed to get worn and weathered.
Posted by: Bulgtl at May 12, 2026 11:15 PM (77rzZ)

They start to stink from the old sweat.

Posted by: Kindltot at May 12, 2026 11:45 PM (rbvCR)

284 Amazingly, The Mets are not the worst team in baseball, that honor goes to the Angels and The Stros.
Posted by: Thomas Bender

Worst team in nl in the worst division in baseball.

Posted by: BruceWayne at May 12, 2026 11:45 PM (YZ0Fo)

285 The Mets are currently going through some sort of evil that has turned a pennant hopeful into something below the Titanic. Not just injuries, they just plain suck.

So they brought up this 21 year old kid Ewing who has been skyrocketing through their minors. First game tonight in center.

1 - 2 with an RBI triple
3 walks
stolen base
2 runs scored
2 rbis
His only out was a warning track fly.

Mets win 10 - 2. That's an impressive debut.

Posted by: JackStraw at May 12, 2026 11:45 PM (viF8m)

286
Bruce,

We lived in Illinois for many years. We are diehard CUBS fans.

Posted by: four seasons at May 12, 2026 11:46 PM (3ek7K)

287 I knew he was gonna come back to earth this season. But yeesh didn't exactly think he'd be this bad. Tho WBC did kinda let ya know.
Posted by: BruceWayne

I think he jinxxed himself. Never disrespect a teammate. Even when they are playing for the other team. Shake his freaking hand.

Posted by: nurse ratched at May 12, 2026 11:46 PM (A5RD0)

288 Why would anyone wash headgear? Hats and caps are supposed to get worn and weathered.
Posted by: Bulgtl at May 12, 2026 11:15 PM (77rzZ)

They start to stink from the old sweat.
Posted by: Kindltot at May 12, 2026 11:45 PM (rbvCR)

Same for balls. On both counts, even.

Posted by: Count de Monetl at May 12, 2026 11:47 PM (wVcYX)

289 Amazingly, The Mets are not the worst team in baseball, that honor goes to the Angels and The Stros.
Posted by: Thomas Bender at May 12, 2026 11:42 PM (XV/Pl)

Really? Not the Rockies?

I ask this as a guy who does not follow baseball, but knows that the Rockies are stupid bad.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Not Exactly Streets Ahead at May 12, 2026 11:47 PM (0aYVJ)

290
Be nice.

Most of the time it doesn't work. Then just shoot them, lmao.

Posted by: four seasons at May 12, 2026 11:48 PM (3ek7K)

291 196 Tom Morello is an insufferable marxist a***ole and wildly overrated.
Posted by: Thomas Bender at May 12, 2026 11:13 PM (XV/Pl)

and he's a Harvard man as well. Probably redundant.

Posted by: Darrell Harris at May 12, 2026 11:49 PM (mPi5D)

292 Hm, when something is said to be “off kilter”, it necessarily implies that the state of Kilter exists. Ideally, things will be “on kilter”.

Similarly, a state of “in whack” predominates (till it gets out of kilter)

Posted by: Common Tater at May 12, 2026 11:49 PM (l+ype)

293 Real men don't wash their balls.

Posted by: The Musk Endures at May 12, 2026 11:49 PM (f3DLx)

294 Bruce,

We lived in Illinois for many years. We are diehard CUBS fans.

Posted by: four seasons

Grew up in nw IN. Lived in wrigleyville for 7 years after college. Went to around 50 games a year. Been gone for awhile but ya the only team I actually care about.

Posted by: BruceWayne at May 12, 2026 11:49 PM (YZ0Fo)

295 I’m lucky that I can walk from work to the Mariners stadium, pay 10 bucks for a 300 level seat, buy a couple beers for 6 bucks apiec, watch the sun set over the city and take a boat home.

Yeah. Seattle has its issues but, it also has a couple perks.

Posted by: nurse ratched at May 12, 2026 11:49 PM (A5RD0)

296 wish we could watch more of those games. MLB considers Alaska and Hawaii "in market" for the Mariners. Like I'm gonna just get in the car and head out to the game. So they don't let us watch them.
Posted by: tcn in AK

I live in ok and only care about the cubs. I'm lucky if I get to see 8 games a year.
Posted by: BruceWayne at May 12, 2026 11:44 PM (YZ0Fo)

Get a V See Box. Watch whatever the eff you want as long as you have strong internet. I'm not exaggerating. Contact me offline for more info.

Posted by: Doof at May 12, 2026 11:50 PM (QMAsf)

297 Really? Not the Rockies?

I ask this as a guy who does not follow baseball, but knows that the Rockies are stupid bad.
Posted by: Pug Mahon, Not

They are flirting with 2-4 games under 500 this year. So not good. But not what they been.

Posted by: BruceWayne at May 12, 2026 11:50 PM (YZ0Fo)

298 Yeah. Seattle has its issues but, it also has a couple perks.

Nice way to sneak in a coffee pun.

Posted by: Blanco Basura - Z28.310 at May 12, 2026 11:51 PM (+9wcF)

299 That's an impressive debut.
Posted by: JackStraw

Two-ring WS winner Brandan Crawford's 1st major league at bat was a grand slam. Sadly, while an occasional clutch hitter, he was a gold glover and a lead slugger.

Posted by: Dark Lihuixtzichatl at May 12, 2026 11:51 PM (W5mpo)

300
Kat Timpf announced she lost her father z"l suddenly last Thursday night.
Posted by: San Franpsycho

==============

That poor woman has had a challenging year.

Posted by: Blonde Mortixtl at May 12, 2026 11:52 PM (XJ22o)

301 Nice way to sneak in a coffee pun.
Posted by: Blanco Basura

My little brother has worked for Starbucks for 30 years.

It filters through.

Posted by: nurse ratched at May 12, 2026 11:52 PM (A5RD0)

302 !

Posted by: The Man from Athens at May 12, 2026 11:52 PM (763Um)

303 Rockies also have one of the best views in a stadium to see a bad game.

Posted by: BruceWayne at May 12, 2026 11:53 PM (YZ0Fo)

304
Here in SW Wyoming we haven't had a real winter .

You know what?? I'm gonna tell you,lol.

The fucking dandelions survive anything.

God must have a plan and use for dandelions to survive.

Let us know.

Posted by: four seasons at May 12, 2026 11:54 PM (3ek7K)

305 We are off kilter with the lack of a real Wyoming winter.

Posted by: four seasons at May 12, 2026 11:40 PM (3ek7K)
-------
I'm hoping they institute a watering ban here - I'm not a big fan of yardwork.

Posted by: 496ltl at May 12, 2026 11:54 PM (sOtuf)

306 We've had a quit spring. Got some joke of hail on Friday. But 90s all this week. Gonna be a hot summer

Posted by: BruceWayne at May 12, 2026 11:55 PM (YZ0Fo)

307 Look at all you baseball fans coming out of the woodwork.

I'm not letting those woke assholes take my sports away. Fuck that.

Posted by: JackStraw at May 12, 2026 11:55 PM (viF8m)

308 240

Take an old toothbrush and some laundry detergent to it under the shower. Let it air dry on the faucet handle for several hours / overnight. Do it BEFORE seeing any sweat rings.
Posted by: Doof
---

To a brand new hat?

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at May 12, 2026 11:55 PM (aU1YS)

309 Look at all you baseball fans coming out of the woodwork.

I'm not letting those woke assholes take my sports away. Fuck that.

Posted by: JackStraw

I'm also enjoying how bad the Red Sox are 😂

Posted by: BruceWayne at May 12, 2026 11:57 PM (YZ0Fo)

310 >>Two-ring WS winner Brandan Crawford's 1st major league at bat was a grand slam. Sadly, while an occasional clutch hitter, he was a gold glover and a lead slugger.

You must have done a game or two at Fenway when you were there.

Posted by: JackStraw at May 12, 2026 11:58 PM (viF8m)

311 The artistic promise of rap was kilked by lawyers. Once they had to pay royalties for every little sample, well that was where the genius was, mixing things in a.way that you lnew what it was but it didnt hit like the original. Its been said that Paul's Boutique cold have never been made after the new laws. Beastie Boys never sounded the same.after that Then it went Diddy where only one.song was sampled making it cover songs with rapping..

Posted by: Azjaeger at May 12, 2026 11:58 PM (4TiTt)

312 Thank you, JackStraw.

We have a beautiful stadium. Sometimes I go to games and enjoy the sunset as much as the game.

You should come out here and check it out sometime. I’ll buy you a beer.

Posted by: nurse ratched at May 12, 2026 11:59 PM (A5RD0)

313
496,

We have a restrictive water ban here.

We haven't showered in weeks, LMAO.

Posted by: four seasons at May 12, 2026 11:59 PM (3ek7K)

314 273 270 Wash your balls with soap and water in the shower or tub like the rest of the guys!
Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at May 12, 2026 11:40 PM (ZVgZ4)

---------

And dry on the line for best results.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at May 12, 2026 11:41 PM (JkO4W)

————

Those hand drying air blowers do a good job as long as they are positioned low enough on the wall. Otherwise a chair works.

Posted by: The Man from Athens at May 12, 2026 11:59 PM (6rW2x)

315
Gonna be a hot summer
Posted by: BruceWayne

2026 will be the hottest year on record. Bank on it!!

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 13, 2026 12:00 AM (Cqx++)

316 And it’s the ONT.

The daywalkers are the judgemental asshats.

Posted by: nurse ratched at May 13, 2026 12:00 AM (A5RD0)

317
nurse,

Amen to that.

Posted by: four seasons at May 13, 2026 12:01 AM (3ek7K)

318 Today, Steve Winwood turned 78. In addition to his solo career, he was also in the Spencer Davis Group, Traffic, and Blind Faith. I really dig the clips I've seen from Traffic's 1972 Santa Monica live show, so here's the 13:41-long opener, with Steve on piano and vocals:

Traffic - Low Spark Of High Heeled Boys - Live 72 (Full Song)
https://youtu.be/R8M8R835Ck4

Posted by: SciVo at May 13, 2026 12:01 AM (Sy6m/)

319 2026 will be the hottest year on record. Bank on it!!
Posted by: Bertram Cabot,

I'll doubt we were hit our 2011. But it's gonna be hot early.

Posted by: BruceWayne at May 13, 2026 12:01 AM (YZ0Fo)

320 Onliest baseball I watch is Banana Ball. Every game on Youtube for free, some on TRU-TV, a few On TNT, I believe. Good fun and action and they love their fans. It's still growing, 46 states this year.

Posted by: Yellow Peril at May 13, 2026 12:01 AM (oftw2)

321 >>I'm also enjoying how bad the Red Sox are 😂

Me too. But I'm a lifelong Mets fan so my Sox friends and I can't even talk smack at each other.

Posted by: JackStraw at May 13, 2026 12:02 AM (viF8m)

322 Me too. But I'm a lifelong Mets fan so my Sox friends and I can't even talk smack at each other.
Posted by: JackStraw

Company of misery

Posted by: BruceWayne at May 13, 2026 12:03 AM (YZ0Fo)

323 263 1st team in ALC: 23-21
5th/last team in NLC: 22-20

Make this make sense
Posted by: gKWVE

The Pittsburgh Pirates are showing signs of being a really good baseball team this year so of course, the NL Central is the best division in baseball so the Pirates are still near the bottom, albeit above .500.

Posted by: Puddleglum, cheer up for the worst is yet to come at May 13, 2026 12:03 AM (sAmhv)

324 Imagine a 2 day colonoscopy prep and there you'll find me. Norovirus but without the puking, which I came close to but it is not my thing.

Salmonella was easier on me than this.

I needed to whine as my husband is not enough when I call him. He's been forbidden to enter our bedroom/bath for 3 days as if he gets it we will be going to the hospital.

I don't know what I did to deserve this. On the bright side I am losing a lot of weight. Unless I collapse tomorrow from exhaustion, whack my head, and die quietly near the toilet. Which would be fitting, all things considered.

Hope you are all doing well. We could be in WW3 or WW Triple I (Omar) for all I know.

Posted by: ChristyBlinkyTheGreat at May 13, 2026 12:04 AM (WONhk)

325 We haven't showered in weeks, LMAO.

Posted by: four seasons at May 12, 2026 11:59 PM (3ek7K)
-------
Well when you do shower, don't forget your baseball hats

Posted by: 496 at May 13, 2026 12:04 AM (sOtuf)

326 Dandelions, I like them, colorful blooms.
And they volunteer. How many volunteers in your area that look so colorful?

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at May 13, 2026 12:04 AM (aU1YS)

327 The Pittsburgh Pirates are showing signs of being a really good baseball team this year so of course, the NL Central is the best division in baseball so the Pirates are still near the bottom, albeit above .500.
Posted by: Puddleglum

They decided to spend. Albeit no smartly because they have 3 years til skenes leaves.

Posted by: BruceWayne at May 13, 2026 12:04 AM (YZ0Fo)

328 Hm, when something is said to be “off kilter”, it necessarily implies that the state of Kilter exists. Ideally, things will be “on kilter”.

Similarly, a state of “in whack” predominates (till it gets out of ~~kilter~~ whack)
Posted by: Common Tater

I understood this, and FIFY, because I am currently quite combobulated.

Posted by: mikeskitl at May 13, 2026 12:05 AM (VHUov)

329 Posted by: SciVo at May 13, 2026 12:01 AM (Sy6m/)
------
All-time favorite song.

Posted by: 496 at May 13, 2026 12:05 AM (sOtuf)

330 Dandion leaves make a lovely salad.

Make certain you wash thoroughly
Though. Dogs like to pee on the dandies.

Posted by: nurse ratched at May 13, 2026 12:07 AM (A5RD0)

331 God must have a plan and use for dandelions to survive.
Let us know.
Posted by: four seasons

Little kids *love* to blow the seeds off the stem! Fun!

Fresh greens, picked in early-mid Spring are good in salads.

Dandelion Wine!*

*full disclosure: I have neither made, nor tasted, dandelion wine.

Posted by: JQ at May 13, 2026 12:07 AM (rdVOm)

332 We haven't showered in weeks, LMAO.

Posted by: four seasons at May 12, 2026 11:59 PM (3ek7K)

I'd wait for a warm rain, not showering in a snowstorm.

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at May 13, 2026 12:07 AM (qx7Zg)

333 @291

>>and he's a Harvard man as well. Probably redundant.

Dude, if you want to see someone take the piss out of the Ivy League, watch Rick Beato tear into the NY Times writers who published their list of The Greatest American Songwriters.

It's brutality is only outdone by it's cruelty.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at May 13, 2026 12:08 AM (XV/Pl)

334 >>You should come out here and check it out sometime. I’ll buy you a beer.

I'm going all the way to Seattle and I only get 1 beer?

You come watch a summer league game at Cardines Field and I'll buy you a beer and throw in an oyster.

Posted by: JackStraw at May 13, 2026 12:09 AM (viF8m)

335 I understood this, and FIFY, because I am currently quite combobulated.
Posted by: mikeskitl at May 13, 2026 12:05 AM (VHUov)

Woot! Myself, I'm gruntled.

Posted by: just the punchline at May 13, 2026 12:09 AM (95Ab8)

336 The fucking dandelions survive anything.
Posted by: four seasons

Old meme:

Rose in a nice garden: "The soil pH is off, I fear I shall expire."

Dandelion in a crack in the sidewalk: "F--k yeah! Concrete!"

Posted by: mikeskitl at May 13, 2026 12:10 AM (VHUov)

337

I get that a lot of people want their grass to look like a golf course.

Out here it is a desert like area.

Why pay the money for the sprinklers.

Green is for money and spending it on grass is not a good return on your investment.

I'm a bitch and have lots of opinions, lol.

Posted by: four seasons at May 13, 2026 12:10 AM (3ek7K)

338 get that a lot of people want their grass to look like a golf course.

Out here it is a desert like area.

Why pay the money for the sprinklers.

Green is for money and spending it on grass is not a good return on your investment.

I'm a bitch and have lots of opinions, lol.

Posted by: four seasons

Oh man going out and laying down perfect stripes on a Thursday evening is so satisfying

Posted by: BruceWayne at May 13, 2026 12:13 AM (YZ0Fo)

339 Why do intellectuals call for socialism?

Because they believe socialism gives power to intellectuals.

And this is the easiest game. Take leftwing critiques of others and apply it back to them. It will usually explain their own real values and ideas.

Per the left everything is about power relationships...the oppressed and the oppressor, through that lens, as an attempt to become the oppressor it all makes sense doesn't it?

Posted by: 18-1 at May 13, 2026 12:13 AM (sKqQm)

340 I only take care of my lawn because my neighbor takes great care of his AND he is the best neighbor I've ever had. I wouldn't keep my lawn up for an a**hole. But he's great and so I try so that he doesn't have to look over and see a garbage heap of a lawn

Posted by: 496 at May 13, 2026 12:14 AM (sOtuf)

341 Green is for money and spending it on grass is not a good return on your investment.

I'm a bitch and have lots of opinions, lol.

Posted by: four seasons at May 13, 2026 12:10 AM (3ek7K)

I mowed grass today. Put the battery in the riding mower, and it started right up. It was filthy with pigeon droppings from being in the barn all winter, so I gave it a going over with the pressure washer. Shines like a new dime now. I mowed the ditches and the shaggy grass near the house. Enough for one day.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 13, 2026 12:14 AM (95Ab8)

342 LOL! I just got to the part where Ace said that Becerra's interviewer was "supposed to shine his ass with Turtle Wax and a sheepskin chamois".

I'm still laughing! Great stuff!

Posted by: JM in Illinois at May 13, 2026 12:15 AM (oafeN)

343 I don't think anyone mentioned this, but Moya (Maire) Brennan passed away on April 13. She was harpist, keyboardist, singer for the band Clannad since 1970. All of the Brennans are great musicians and singers, including the youngest, Enya. Moya was a very good, talented woman.

Posted by: Dublin's Finest at May 13, 2026 12:16 AM (oftw2)

344 LOL! I just got to the part where Ace said that Becerra's interviewer was "supposed to shine his ass with Turtle Wax and a sheepskin chamois".

I'm still laughing! Great stuff!
Posted by: JM in Illinois

Sham wow guy ran for a seat in Texas this year. He didn't win.

Posted by: BruceWayne at May 13, 2026 12:16 AM (YZ0Fo)

345 Oh, you don't have xplickity grass?
What kind of grass is it? Volunteer.

I have clumps of 'weeds' in places. They grow about 4 to 5' high in proper weather. Also if the weather is right they bloom at the very top with a golden pyramid. Looks like an Indian (arrow) headdress.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at May 13, 2026 12:18 AM (aU1YS)

346 I am soooo envious of the neighbors across the road! Seems they don't primp and pamper their lawn, but it's a lovely field of dark green velvety-looking (probably Kentucky Blue) grass.

Yes, they have a sprinkler system. And I think they aerate once a year. Apply fertilizer maybe once a year...

They drive on it! Park on it! All the time!

They have 2 dogs and 2 rambunctious boys that play on it daily! Heck, the kids even have little 4-wheelers that they drive around on it!

And they've only had to mow about every other, or every third week.

My sh1tty pasture grass (and other weedy crap) grows so fast that I've been mowing every 4 or 5 days to keep it down. LOL

Posted by: JQ at May 13, 2026 12:19 AM (rdVOm)

347 A beer , an oyster and a geoduck fritter!

Posted by: nurse ratched at May 13, 2026 12:19 AM (2p8pT)

348 I haven’t heard Mighty Lemon Drops in 38 years, easily.

Posted by: Cow Demon at May 13, 2026 12:20 AM (T6aVk)

349 Zapp’s/Dirty Potato Chips — recalled May 4 for possible salmonella contamination.

Other than that the world seems pretty blah. Feels like Trump is waiting to talk to Xi about the oil not getting to China. Damn shame that. If someone wanted to, they could effectively cut off Chinese oil and cripple them.

I don't think there's much middle ground, either Trump got us stuck in the Gulf or he's playing with his food, rag dolling them. I can't be certain, but I'm leaning towards the latter. I think he's trying to throw some doubt into the CCP.

Posted by: Bilwis Devourer of Innocent Souls, I'm starvin' over here at May 13, 2026 12:20 AM (w/O5Q)

350 A beer , an oyster and a geoduck fritter!
Posted by: nurse ratched

.....

I've got nothin'.

Posted by: Carnac the Magnificent at May 13, 2026 12:21 AM (VHUov)

Processing 0.02, elapsed 0.0302 seconds.
14 queries taking 0.0087 seconds, 358 records returned.
Page size 169 kb.
Powered by Minx 0.8 beta.