aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com
CBD:
cbd at cutjibnewsletter.com
Buck:
buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com
joe mannix:
mannix2024 at proton.me
MisHum:
petmorons at gee mail.com
J.J. Sefton:
sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com
Be Back Soon
I'm at the doctor's. Not fun!
Comments
(Jump to bottom of comments)Posted by: Elric The Blade at May 11, 2026 12:12 PM (iFTx/)
Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at May 11, 2026 12:13 PM (y1wyK)
Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 11, 2026 12:14 PM (bss/y)
Posted by: one hour sober at May 11, 2026 12:14 PM (J4Dwc)
Posted by: zombie Michael Jackson at May 11, 2026 12:14 PM (vFG9F)
😂😂😂 😂😂😂 😂😂😂
Posted by: rickb223 at May 11, 2026 12:14 PM (S838b)
Posted by: Anna Puma at May 11, 2026 12:14 PM (2GVsD)
Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 11, 2026 12:14 PM (bss/y)
Posted by: pookysgirl is very excited at May 11, 2026 12:15 PM (Wt5PA)
Posted by: proudvastrightwingguy at May 11, 2026 12:15 PM (MNCvZ)
Posted by: Roy Batty at May 11, 2026 12:15 PM (Riz8t)
Posted by: Doof at May 11, 2026 12:15 PM (FenX4)
Posted by: Martini Farmer at May 11, 2026 12:15 PM (jehhT)
Posted by: Anna Puma at May 11, 2026 12:15 PM (2GVsD)
Posted by: rickb223 at May 11, 2026 12:15 PM (S838b)
Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 11, 2026 12:15 PM (snZF9)
Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at May 11, 2026 12:15 PM (52qkP)
Posted by: gnats local 678 at May 11, 2026 12:16 PM (CWTWj)
Posted by: Aetius451AD
*SNORT
Posted by: rickb223 at May 11, 2026 12:16 PM (S838b)
Posted by: tubal at May 11, 2026 12:16 PM (Gqar8)
Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 11, 2026 12:16 PM (bss/y)
Posted by: Stateless - He ain't heavy, he's my dog at May 11, 2026 12:16 PM (Sco7b)
Posted by: 2009Refugee - End the Sea Otter Menace! at May 11, 2026 12:17 PM (l/yej)
Posted by: Roy at May 11, 2026 12:17 PM (qwype)
Posted by: Anna Puma at May 11, 2026 12:14 PM (2GVsD)
---
This has Moron Horde written all over it.
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at May 11, 2026 12:17 PM (gnNyN)
Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 11, 2026 12:17 PM (bss/y)
I need the brain bleach.
Posted by: Anna Puma at May 11, 2026 12:17 PM (2GVsD)
Posted by: gnats local 678
Not too revolting. But it is a damn sight too revealing.
Who had "needs to know that much about the anal area of an Ewok" on their bingo card?
Posted by: rickb223 at May 11, 2026 12:18 PM (S838b)
Posted by: pookysgirl
Excellent!
Posted by: Bulg at May 11, 2026 12:18 PM (77rzZ)
--
Like that joke about the guy who keeps getting raped by the bear when hunting, he isn't there for teh prostate exam.
Posted by: People's Hippo Voice at May 11, 2026 12:18 PM (MtSIY)
Posted by: BifBewalski - at May 11, 2026 12:18 PM (M/uVZ)
Posted by: tubal at May 11, 2026 12:18 PM (Gqar8)
Posted by: pookysgirl is very excited at May 11, 2026 12:15 PM (Wt5PA)
Awesome. Congratulations.
Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at May 11, 2026 12:18 PM (dK+Kv)
Posted by: wth at May 11, 2026 12:18 PM (UjdFS)
Posted by: Diogenes at May 11, 2026 12:18 PM (2WIwB)
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 11, 2026 12:18 PM (Cqx++)
Posted by: Peter Bootygig at May 11, 2026 12:19 PM (p2Jds)
Posted by: pookysgirl is very excited at May 11, 2026 12:15 PM (Wt5PA)
Congrats, That is wonderful.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 11, 2026 12:19 PM (bss/y)
Posted by: Aetius451AD
so close to pride month?
Posted by: Sturmtoddler at May 11, 2026 12:19 PM (P+rEL)
Posted by: logprof at May 11, 2026 12:19 PM (jo6FO)
The one up top, not so much.
Posted by: Bulg at May 11, 2026 12:19 PM (77rzZ)
Posted by: Dr. Nick Riviera at May 11, 2026 12:19 PM (Ucgf4)
Posted by: Reforger at May 11, 2026 12:19 PM (ZFqKB)
Posted by: Paploo at May 11, 2026 12:20 PM (w/O5Q)
Posted by: Anna Puma at May 11, 2026 12:20 PM (2GVsD)
Posted by: Stateless - He ain't heavy, he's my dog at May 11, 2026 12:20 PM (Sco7b)
Posted by: It's me donna at May 11, 2026 12:20 PM (asBle)
Posted by: pookysgirl is very excited at May 11, 2026 12:15 PM (Wt5PA)
congrats on the blessing
Posted by: Sturmtoddler at May 11, 2026 12:20 PM (P+rEL)
Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at May 11, 2026 12:20 PM (dK+Kv)
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr.
Too late. She was already two knuckles deep! Boogity boogity!
Posted by: Ray Stevens
Posted by: rickb223 at May 11, 2026 12:21 PM (S838b)
Posted by: I used to have a different nic at May 11, 2026 12:21 PM (ExV1e)
Posted by: Anna Puma at May 11, 2026 12:21 PM (2GVsD)
Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at May 11, 2026 12:21 PM (52qkP)
Posted by: redridinghood at May 11, 2026 12:21 PM (NpAcC)
Posted by: Nav Gewsom at May 11, 2026 12:21 PM (UjdFS)
Posted by: Diogenes at May 11, 2026 12:21 PM (2WIwB)
Posted by: sock_rat_eez at May 11, 2026 12:21 PM (VyBeY)
Posted by: tubal at May 11, 2026 12:22 PM (Gqar8)
Posted by: Count de Monet at May 11, 2026 12:22 PM (wVcYX)
Posted by: logprof at May 11, 2026 12:19 PM (jo6FO)
------------
"It's difficult to walk upright with an object up your ass. Almost like it's unnatural or something ..."
/obligatory Barry Soetoro, live from the Obama Presidential Bathhouse and Outhouse
Posted by: ShainS at May 11, 2026 12:22 PM (ePd8V)
Posted by: rickb223 at May 11, 2026 12:22 PM (S838b)
Posted by: Dylan Mulvaney at May 11, 2026 12:22 PM (5rh/l)
Nice!
Posted by: Diogenes at May 11, 2026 12:22 PM (2WIwB)
Posted by: ... at May 11, 2026 12:22 PM (/YotI)
Tragically, Republicans self-destructing isn't even guaranteed, and they know it. 1) our electoral system is an anti-democratic farce, 2) you should never, ever, ever underestimate the Democratic Party's ability to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.
This headline assumes they want to save themselves from Trump. They don't. Many agree with all of this, many salivate at the idea of a Project 2025 christofascist hellhole, many want power above all else.
"If we nominate Trump, we will get destroyed... and we will deserve it" - Lindsay Graham, noted sadomasochism afficianado.
At this point, I think Republicans are banking on stealing the midterms. They're no longer even trying to appeal to voters. They know Trump is deeply unpopular but they know he's going to do everything possible to stay in power.
Why would they, they are getting everything they ever wanted under Trump. Trump’s batting a thousand for them.
Posted by: Intercepted Reddit Transmissions brought by the Intrepid AoS Liaison at May 11, 2026 12:23 PM (JCZqz)
Posted by: tubal at May 11, 2026 12:22 PM (Gqar
Do you tip on such occasions?
Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at May 11, 2026 12:23 PM (dK+Kv)
Posted by: Martini Farmer at May 11, 2026 12:15 PM (jehhT)
Could be worse. They could shove an ultrasound wand up there and then job you with a needle to take a biopsy... using local anesthetic and the advice to lie back and think of England.
Posted by: I used to have a different nic at May 11, 2026 12:23 PM (ExV1e)
Posted by: XTC at May 11, 2026 12:23 PM (FpHTM)
Posted by: pookysgirl is very excited at May 11
Congratulations! I will put you back into the daily prayers, friend.
Posted by: Piper at May 11, 2026 12:23 PM (IUV3m)
Posted by: Ralph at May 11, 2026 12:23 PM (8WZD4)
Posted by: Count de Monet at May 11, 2026 12:22 PM (wVcYX)
-------------
I did NOT have an Ewok Prostate depicted on my 250th Anniversary of the USA bingo card ...
Posted by: ShainS at May 11, 2026 12:23 PM (ePd8V)
Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at May 11, 2026 12:23 PM (52qkP)
Posted by: Harry Vandenburg
Blood/antigen test. Especially if there's no history in your family.
Posted by: rickb223 at May 11, 2026 12:23 PM (S838b)
I'm so OG Horde that I remember when Wicket used to get annoyed about being called an Ewok, when he had the phrase "knock it off with the Ewok shit" in a couple of posts.
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at May 11, 2026 12:23 PM (y9nCu)
Posted by: Tex Lovera at May 11, 2026 12:24 PM (wtvvX)
Posted by: Anna Puma at May 11, 2026 12:24 PM (2GVsD)
Posted by: Reforger at May 11, 2026 12:19 PM (ZFqKB)
It's no different than bulls-eyeing womp rats!
Posted by: Luke Skywalker at May 11, 2026 12:24 PM (wVcYX)
Posted by: tubal at May 11, 2026 12:22 PM (Gqar
Back in the day my doctor for a time was Dr Jennifer. Such slim fingers.
*sigh*
Posted by: Diogenes at May 11, 2026 12:24 PM (2WIwB)
Posted by: It's me donna at May 11, 2026 12:20 PM (asBle)
You’ll be okay, donna. Just think about those nice tame weekend threads coming up.
Posted by: tubal at May 11, 2026 12:24 PM (Gqar8)
Posted by: pookysgirl is very excited at May 11
Congratulations!
Posted by: rickb223 at May 11, 2026 12:24 PM (S838b)
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 11, 2026 12:24 PM (XeU6L)
Posted by: logprof at May 11, 2026 12:25 PM (jo6FO)
Posted by: Oddbob at May 11, 2026 12:25 PM (vTZFs)
Posted by: Harry Vandenburg
Blood/antigen test. Especially if there's no history in your family.
Posted by: rickb223
My PCP does both. Says that neither one by itself is conclusive.
Posted by: Bulg at May 11, 2026 12:25 PM (77rzZ)
Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at May 11, 2026 12:25 PM (qx7Zg)
The projection by the left isn't funny anymore. It's insanity.
Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at May 11, 2026 12:25 PM (52qkP)
Posted by: I used to have a different nic
Speculum.
Posted by: rickb223 at May 11, 2026 12:25 PM (S838b)
Posted by: I used to have a different nic at May 11, 2026 12:23 PM (ExV1e)
It was 10 feet, if it was an inch, I tell you!
Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at May 11, 2026 12:26 PM (dK+Kv)
Posted by: Harry Vandenburg
------
The snapping of the glove as it is pulled on.
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 11, 2026 12:26 PM (XeU6L)
Posted by: tubal at May 11, 2026 12:22 PM (Gqar
Do you tip on such occasions?
Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at May 11, 2026 12:23 PM (dK+Kv)
Probably but I was too subdued.
Posted by: tubal at May 11, 2026 12:26 PM (Gqar8)
Posted by: Anna Puma at May 11, 2026 12:26 PM (2GVsD)
Posted by: Pete Bootyjuice at May 11, 2026 12:26 PM (sKqQm)
Posted by: Intercepted Reddit Transmissions brought by the Intrepid AoS Liaison at May 11, 2026 12:23 PM (JCZqz)
1. i don't know how you manage to visit those hellholes
b. how is it that these mouth breathers never leave this evil reichwing christofascist hell hole full of nazis?
iii. how do they remember to breath, being so monumentally stupid...
Posted by: Sturmtoddler at May 11, 2026 12:26 PM (nXhwP)
Posted by: Diogenes at May 11, 2026 12:26 PM (2WIwB)
66 I had a prostate exam done by a nurse practitioner one time. Cute 30 something woman.
Posted by: tubal at May 11, 2026 12:22 PM (Gqar
Do you tip on such occasions?
Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at May 11, 2026 12:23 PM (dK+Kv)
Only if they give you your choice of scents.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 11, 2026 12:26 PM (bss/y)
I remember a very fine lecture more than once about a certain hairy star wars creature.
Times were different then to be sure. Very different.
Posted by: ... at May 11, 2026 12:27 PM (/YotI)
Posted by: Barack Obama at May 11, 2026 12:27 PM (sKqQm)
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 11, 2026 12:24 PM (XeU6L)
If a male doctor has both hands on your shoulders when doing a 'finger wave'...
Posted by: Gref at May 11, 2026 12:27 PM (5rh/l)
Posted by: tubal
Do you tip on such occasions?
Posted by: Comrade Flounder
Why? She didn't. Straight to the third knuckle.
Posted by: rickb223 at May 11, 2026 12:27 PM (S838b)
Posted by: eleven at May 11, 2026 12:28 PM (aTgV0)
Posted by: Pete Bootiegig at May 11, 2026 12:28 PM (Vu7A1)
Aunt Gale centered are my least favorite Bob Burgers episodes but they're still good. My favorite TV show.
Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at May 11, 2026 12:28 PM (52qkP)
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at May 11, 2026 12:28 PM (Zz0t1)
If that's what they truly think, one would think they'd be delighted at the prospect of a Labour-style wipeout of the GOP. They don't believe their own propaganda.
Posted by: Archimedes at May 11, 2026 12:28 PM (Riz8t)
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at May 11, 2026 12:28 PM (Zz0t1)
Posted by: FeatherBlade at May 11, 2026 12:28 PM (vJrRc)
Posted by: ... at May 11, 2026 12:28 PM (/YotI)
Posted by: The Artful Dodger at May 11, 2026 12:28 PM (wBRco)
As I laid on the exam table in a gown, he entered & put on the gloves, and said "bend your knees and pull your heels up to your butt." And I had no idea that I was about to be anally raped ... it was actually quite traumatic (he never prepared me for the "invasion").
Posted by: ShainS at May 11, 2026 12:29 PM (ePd8V)
It is a bubble? Is AI real? Are we all in a simulation?
Posted by: Heroq at May 11, 2026 12:29 PM (9V6lq)
Posted by: Dylan Mulvaney at May 11, 2026 12:22 PM (5rh/l)
--Mr. Novulvaney, yes.
All you're left with is a perpetually oozing hole where your manhood used to be (and which no sane straight dude will accept as a substitute for cooch.
Posted by: logprof at May 11, 2026 12:29 PM (jo6FO)
Posted by: Archimedes at May 11, 2026 12:28 PM (Riz8t)
They tell themselves that they're only concerned about the good of the country and how it would best be served if Republicans would only agree to everything they want.
Posted by: I used to have a different nic at May 11, 2026 12:29 PM (ExV1e)
I wonder if Ewoks are like square nosed wombats, they have cubed poop? Wouldn't be surprised with the above innards
Posted by: Smell the Glove at May 11, 2026 12:29 PM (gu0hJ)
Posted by: Harry Vandenburg
------
The snapping of the glove as it is pulled on.
Posted by: Mike Hammer
Beavis and Butthead Do America. The full cavity search.
Posted by: Bulg at May 11, 2026 12:30 PM (77rzZ)
Trump is the first national R pol that is actually doing what the voters want since Newt G in the 90s.
There is no point in GOPer me-tooism.
Posted by: 18-1 at May 11, 2026 12:30 PM (sKqQm)
Posted by: tubal
Do you tip on such occasions?
Posted by: Comrade Flounder
Why? She didn't. Straight to the third knuckle.
Posted by: rickb223 at May 11, 2026 12:27 PM (S838b)
much like brokeback mountain and lord of the rings,
someone's ring got destroyed....
Posted by: Sturmtoddler at May 11, 2026 12:30 PM (nXhwP)
I had a prostate exam done by a nurse practitioner one time. Cute 30 something woman.
Posted by: tubal at May 11, 2026 12:22 PM (Gqar
"Okay, it was nice of my co-workers to get me a stripper, but I don't have any $20 bills..."
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at May 11, 2026 12:30 PM (y9nCu)
Do they have ANYONE to promote that isn't a sleazy gross prejudiced hateful low IQ windbag of shit?
Posted by: ... at May 11, 2026 12:30 PM (/YotI)
Indeed, if there's anything I know, it's that Republicans should take to heart any advice from Sid Blumenthal.
Posted by: Oddbob at May 11, 2026 12:30 PM (vTZFs)
Posted by: Anna Puma at May 11, 2026 12:30 PM (2GVsD)
It is a bubble? Is AI real? Are we all in a simulation?
More poetically: Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?
Posted by: Archimedes at May 11, 2026 12:30 PM (Riz8t)
Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 11, 2026 12:30 PM (bss/y)
Posted by: a.moron at May 11, 2026 12:31 PM (X5Jzz)
Now Ewok molestation.
WTF is this week?
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at May 11, 2026 12:28 PM (Zz0t1)
--------------
During LQBTQIAWTFBBQ+PEDO+EWOK Pride Week? REALLY???[
Posted by: ShainS at May 11, 2026 12:31 PM (ePd8V)
Posted by: Bulg
He's charging you double and getting off on the kink.
Posted by: Dr. Whatsamatta at May 11, 2026 12:31 PM (oftw2)
Posted by: pookysgirl is very excited at May 11
Awwwwwww.......
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at May 11, 2026 12:31 PM (Zz0t1)
AI is real for some things at least.
It is a fair question if American tech companies have over invested because the demand isn't there yet but they all want to be Steve Jobs convincing people they want a cell phone...
Posted by: 18-1 at May 11, 2026 12:31 PM (sKqQm)
AlGore waits.
Posted by: Anna Puma at May 11, 2026 12:31 PM (2GVsD)
What? Fletch is Chevy's best movie except for being a co-star in Caddy Shack.
I still use 'put it on the Underhill's tab' 😃
Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at May 11, 2026 12:31 PM (52qkP)
Posted by: eleven at May 11, 2026 12:31 PM (aTgV0)
Posted by: Smell the Glove at May 11, 2026 12:32 PM (gu0hJ)
Posted by: eleven at May 11, 2026 12:31 PM (aTgV0)
This.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 11, 2026 12:32 PM (bss/y)
Posted by: NR Pax at May 11, 2026 12:32 PM (99eI0)
The only time when having someone stick a tube up your dick actually sounds like it could be a good idea.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 11, 2026 12:33 PM (bss/y)
Posted by: pookysgirl is very excited at May 11
********
That's wonderful! Congratulations!
Posted by: redridinghood at May 11, 2026 12:33 PM (NpAcC)
My doctor makes that joke every time.
Posted by: Nazdar at May 11, 2026 12:33 PM (NcvvS)
Posted by: Pete Bootyjuice at May 11, 2026 12:26 PM
I've said it before, but if you name a kid "Chasten" there is no option other than him becoming extremely gay.
Posted by: Ian S. at May 11, 2026 12:33 PM (2ocoG)
It is a fair question if American tech companies have over invested because the demand isn't there yet but they all want to be Steve Jobs convincing people they want a cell phone...
I've been through enough hype cycles to know that I don't know the answer, but that there will eventually be a crash and shakeout of the weaker players. That's when I intend to buy in.
Posted by: Archimedes at May 11, 2026 12:33 PM (Riz8t)
Posted by: The Chicken at May 11, 2026 12:33 PM (Q+gd/)
I guess a significant portion of voters are not happy with the Orange, think but Dems are even worse.
Posted by: Heroq at May 11, 2026 12:33 PM (9V6lq)
Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 11, 2026 12:30 PM (bss/y)
------------
lol
Now I'm imaging the doctor sending Ace away with some Huggies Diapers in case of subsequent leakage ...
Posted by: ShainS at May 11, 2026 12:33 PM (ePd8V)
Posted by: a.moron"
That Ewok's been around. You know'm sayin?
Posted by: eleven at May 11, 2026 12:33 PM (aTgV0)
I got a few and...you will see stars, I don't care how good your pain tolerance is.
Note: drinking a LOT of water helps.
Posted by: 18-1 at May 11, 2026 12:33 PM (sKqQm)
Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 11, 2026 12:30 PM (bss/y)
You pay extra for that level of "care."
Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at May 11, 2026 12:33 PM (dK+Kv)
Posted by: tubal
My story might be worse. Had a weird lump in my scrotum. Went in for ultrasound. Lay on exam table, take off pants, cover self with towel as directed. Tech is frumpy 50ish woman...no problem. Then, a super hot young woman comes in. She's a med student and would like to do the exam if that's ok.
Squirts warmed gel/lube on me, repeatedly, and massages my junk for what seemed an eternity, the whole time I'm trying NOT to get aroused and play it cool lol.
Posted by: Admiral Ackbar at May 11, 2026 12:34 PM (JCZqz)
The only time when having someone stick a tube up your dick actually sounds like it could be a good idea.
Posted by: Aetius451AD
Nurse! Blow into it!
Posted by: rickb223 at May 11, 2026 12:34 PM (S838b)
And do vets have to do prostrate exams on animals?
Somehow, I don't think doing a prostate exam on a tomcat or a pit bull would go over too well.
Posted by: Bulg at May 11, 2026 12:34 PM (77rzZ)
Posted by: Anna Puma at May 11, 2026 12:34 PM (2GVsD)
Squirts warmed gel/lube on me, repeatedly, and massages my junk for what seemed an eternity, the whole time I'm trying NOT to get aroused and play it cool lol.
Posted by: Admiral Ackbar
It's a trap!
Posted by: rickb223 at May 11, 2026 12:34 PM (S838b)
To restate Keynes, everything is a bubble on a long enough time scale. The trick is in knowing how to be the second one to jump off.
Posted by: Oddbob at May 11, 2026 12:35 PM (vTZFs)
Posted by: ... at May 11, 2026 12:35 PM (/YotI)
Democrats Deliver
@DemzDeliver
HUGE: Minnesota Democrats just created an independent office to aggressively go after fraud."
Prediction: Within 30 days Somalis will have set up dozens of state funded independent fraud detection offices.
Posted by: Ripley at May 11, 2026 12:35 PM (PTDkx)
I think AI will be similar.
Posted by: Heroq at May 11, 2026 12:35 PM (9V6lq)
@libsoftiktok 8m
BREAKING: Dept of War to investigate Senator Mark Kelly for revealing classified information about U.S. weapons stockpiles on TV
Posted by: weft cut-loop at May 11, 2026 12:35 PM (diia5)
Posted by: tankdemon at May 11, 2026 12:35 PM (5eIFu)
Posted by: Smell the Glove at May 11, 2026 12:35 PM (gu0hJ)
Posted by: tubal
My story might be worse. Had a weird lump in my scrotum. Went in for ultrasound. Lay on exam table, take off pants, cover self with towel as directed. Tech is frumpy 50ish woman...no problem. Then, a super hot young woman comes in. She's a med student and would like to do the exam if that's ok.
Squirts warmed gel/lube on me, repeatedly, and massages my junk for what seemed an eternity, the whole time I'm trying NOT to get aroused and play it cool lol.
Posted by: Admiral Ackbar at May 11, 2026 12:34 PM (JCZqz)
That would be - awkward, yes.
Posted by: tubal at May 11, 2026 12:35 PM (Gqar8)
Posted by: ShainS at May 11, 2026 12:35 PM (ePd8V)
The only time when having someone stick a tube up your dick actually sounds like it could be a good idea.
Posted by: Aetius451AD
It's not putting in the tube ( you're under) . It's taking out the tube when you're wide awake.
Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at May 11, 2026 12:35 PM (52qkP)
The complaint against Trump is gas prices.
You'd have to be an idiot to think Dems will lower gas prices so...
And Trump's got a few months to get the Iran thing fixed. But...he needs to start getting a lot more aggressive.
No one that might vote R will care if he starts bombing Mullah/IRGC neighborhoods but it would end the conflict quickly...
Posted by: 18-1 at May 11, 2026 12:36 PM (sKqQm)
Posted by: Bulg at May 11, 2026 12:36 PM (77rzZ)
-------
Nothing to worry about. That's just your second dong growing in.
Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at May 11, 2026 12:36 PM (BI5O2)
Posted by: a.moron at May 11, 2026 12:31 PM (X5Jzz)
So you missed the wild wild west days of "new comment thingy".
Posted by: Reforger at May 11, 2026 12:36 PM (ZFqKB)
Posted by: pookysgirl is very excited at May 11, 2026 12:15 PM (Wt5PA)
My youngest niece' birthday is the week before Christmas, and she always complained that her gifts came wrapped in Christmas wrapping paper.
I have tried, but mostly failed, to send her birthday presents on MY birthday instead.
Posted by: Kindltot at May 11, 2026 12:36 PM (rbvCR)
Posted by: pookysgirl is very excited at May 11, 2026 12:15 PM (Wt5PA)
Yay!
Posted by: tankdemon at May 11, 2026 12:36 PM (5eIFu)
Posted by: Harry Vandenburg
+1.
Especially if they don't deflate the balloon entirely.
Posted by: rickb223 at May 11, 2026 12:37 PM (S838b)
Posted by: Bulg at May 11, 2026 12:30 PM (77rzZ)
R.I.P. Robert Stack
Posted by: logprof at May 11, 2026 12:37 PM (jo6FO)
Posted by: ... at May 11, 2026 12:37 PM (/YotI)
Posted by: Anon Y. Mous at May 11, 2026 12:37 PM (syz1S)
Squirts warmed gel/lube on me, repeatedly, and massages my junk for what seemed an eternity,
===
🤣😂😂😂😂
"Dear Penthouse!! You won't believe..."
Posted by: runner at May 11, 2026 12:37 PM (GD0B3)
Posted by: ChristyBlinkyTheGreat at May 11, 2026 12:37 PM (WONhk)
Scooter Libby went to jail for being the 4th person to mention Valerie Plame sent her husband on his mention IN A PRIVATE CONVERSATION.
Posted by: 18-1 at May 11, 2026 12:37 PM (sKqQm)
Posted by: Smell the Glove at May 11, 2026 12:37 PM (gu0hJ)
Me: “Blow me you mom jeans fag”.
Posted by: Vengeance at May 11, 2026 12:38 PM (E/qck)
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 11, 2026 12:18 PM (Cqx++)
But it was too late!
Posted by: tankdemon at May 11, 2026 12:38 PM (5eIFu)
Posted by: sock_rat_eez at May 11, 2026 12:38 PM (VyBeY)
Posted by: rickb223 at May 11, 2026 12:34 PM (S838b)
Sounds better than jerking it for grandbabies while MiL is in the waiting room.
RIP.
Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at May 11, 2026 12:38 PM (dK+Kv)
Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at May 11, 2026 12:35 PM (52qkP)
Can confim.
Posted by: Washington Nearsider: Gotterdammerung at May 11, 2026 12:38 PM (iNUL3)
Posted by: stu-mick-o-sucks at May 11, 2026 12:38 PM (Zxn0O)
I got a few and...you will see stars, I don't care how good your pain tolerance is.
Note: drinking a LOT of water helps.
Posted by: 18-1 at May 11, 2026 12:33 PM (sKqQm)
Chancapiedra.
Posted by: XTC at May 11, 2026 12:38 PM (FpHTM)
Posted by: Smell the Glove at May 11, 2026 12:38 PM (gu0hJ)
Me: “Blow me you mom jeans fag”.
Posted by: Vengeance at May 11, 2026 12:38 PM (E/qck)
Fuck right off, you jug eared, pansy ass fuck.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 11, 2026 12:38 PM (bss/y)
Posted by: ... at May 11, 2026 12:37 PM (/YotI)
No indeed, it is not nearly as much fun as it sounds.
Posted by: tubal at May 11, 2026 12:39 PM (Gqar8)
Posted by: eleven at May 11, 2026 12:39 PM (aTgV0)
Posted by: Boswell at May 11, 2026 12:39 PM (V7158)
@libsoftiktok 8m
BREAKING: Dept of War to investigate Senator Mark Kelly for revealing classified information about U.S. weapons stockpiles on TV
Posted by: weft cut-loop at May 11, 2026 12:35 PM (diia5)
--------------
Scumbag sold his soul for 30 pieces of Yuan.
Posted by: ShainS at May 11, 2026 12:39 PM (ePd8V)
"Put in another finger"
"Okay"
"Put in your thumb"
"Weird, but okay"
"Now put in your other hand"
"Where are we going with this?"
"Now clap"
"I can't"
"Tight, isn't it?"
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at May 11, 2026 12:39 PM (y9nCu)
Posted by: Freshy at May 11, 2026 12:39 PM (sJsBN)
Posted by: OldToby at May 11, 2026 12:39 PM (i+lZL)
Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at May 11, 2026 12:39 PM (BI5O2)
I also hate myself for being amused by it.
Posted by: Drunken Yoda at May 11, 2026 12:39 PM (LQv8o)
Kelly, ironically, is the only one of the "Seditious Six" not to attend formal color revolution incitement training.
Related: Obama just spent the weekend with Alex Soros and Mark Carney. There are definitely ops afoot.
Posted by: Ian S. at May 11, 2026 12:39 PM (2ocoG)
And apparently the PSA is more accurate...
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at May 11, 2026 12:39 PM (iERP6)
Thank you Ace (I think....)
Hope everyone had an enjoyable Mothers Day with suitable honors or modest consumption of 'therapeutic' liquids as appropriate.
Let's have a great week and continue to smile, laugh and ruin the days of pinch-faced scolds and other leftists everywhere!!
Posted by: Anonymous Rogue in Kalifornistan (ARiK) at May 11, 2026 12:40 PM (QGaXH)
Posted by: tubal
My story might be worse. Had a weird lump in my scrotum. Went in for ultrasound. Lay on exam table, take off pants, cover self with towel as directed. Tech is frumpy 50ish woman...no problem. Then, a super hot young woman comes in. She's a med student and would like to do the exam if that's ok.
Squirts warmed gel/lube on me, repeatedly, and massages my junk for what seemed an eternity, the whole time I'm trying NOT to get aroused and play it cool lol.
Posted by: Admiral Ackbar at May 11, 2026 12:34 PM (JCZqz)
6 foot 3 sweedish woman. Looked like a supermodel.
Asked her why someone went into rectal surgery, noting that there were more glamorous dr professions.
Said her mom died of untreatable rectal cancer.
I thanked her for her service.
Posted by: Cuthbert the Witless at May 11, 2026 12:40 PM (7mCLy)
Posted by: Bulg at May 11, 2026 12:36 PM (77rzZ)
My 30-something nurse said exactly that to me when she was dropping my line.
I told her the pain was like a 7.5 and she just looked at me. I told her I don't believe in 10s and hold childbirth as the be all/end all. Plus, I got hurt downrange, so my scale is a little skewed.
She said "Honey, I've had stones and delivered my triplets naturally. Stones are worse by orders of magnitude."
Awesome. Thanks.
Posted by: Washington Nearsider: Gotterdammerung at May 11, 2026 12:40 PM (iNUL3)
It looks like the VRA/redistricting wars are going give give the Rs a pretty strong default win path for the House...every year.
But the real magic is if illegals are not counted in the 2030 census. Do that and all those left wing rotten boroughs go away - about 40 seats go from default blue to default red...
Posted by: 18-1 at May 11, 2026 12:40 PM (sKqQm)
Posted by: Bulg at May 11, 2026 12:40 PM (77rzZ)
Posted by: 18-1 at May 11, 2026 12:37 PM (sKqQm)
Don't you hate autocorrect. I'm now able to interpret the worst AI program ever developed.
Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at May 11, 2026 12:40 PM (52qkP)
Posted by: Heroq at May 11, 2026 12:35 PM (9V6lq)
And lots of cheap IT assets on the auction block soon after. Glad my last PC was another 10 year build with enough RAM to weather the shortages.
Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at May 11, 2026 12:40 PM (dK+Kv)
Go scour the Internets. The 48th at RAF Lakenheath painted up one of their F-15Es in the camouflage pattern of their F-111Fs for El Dorado Canyon and named the plane Karma 52.
Posted by: Anna Puma at May 11, 2026 12:40 PM (2GVsD)
Related: Obama just spent the weekend with Alex Soros and Mark Carney. There are definitely ops afoot.
Posted by: Ian S. at May 11, 2026 12:39 PM (2ocoG)
Well Obama's track record hasn't been too good so.... Go for it Barry...,
Posted by: It's me donna at May 11, 2026 12:40 PM (asBle)
Posted by: Intercepted Reddit Transmissions brought by the Intrepid AoS Liaison at May 11, 2026 12:23 PM (JCZqz)
----
So if the Republicans don't lose Congress afte the midterms, it was stolen? I guess this is code for "prepare for riots!"
Posted by: Chairman LMAO at May 11, 2026 12:41 PM (cWLG3)
Cash only. The rest we would bill to medicare. They always pay best.
Posted by: Somali Joe, Prostates 4 U at May 11, 2026 12:41 PM (HBTIy)
I miss USENET news groups.
Posted by: rickb223 at May 11, 2026 12:41 PM (S838b)
Ducking Dan auto cucumber!
Posted by: 18-1 at May 11, 2026 12:41 PM (sKqQm)
Posted by: a.moron at May 11, 2026 12:31 PM (X5Jzz)
Does the word "ottoman" mean anything to you?
Posted by: tankdemon at May 11, 2026 12:41 PM (5eIFu)
Posted by: ... at May 11, 2026 12:37 PM (/YotI)
No indeed, it is not nearly as much fun as it sounds.
Posted by: tubal at May 11, 2026 12:39 PM (Gqar
Hey hey! Let's not rush to judgement.
Posted by: Barky o numbnutz at May 11, 2026 12:41 PM (7mCLy)
Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at May 11, 2026 12:39 PM (BI5O2)
Stick aggressive, agitated mustelids (Badgers, Ratels, Wolverines) down his pants.
Posted by: XTC at May 11, 2026 12:41 PM (FpHTM)
Posted by: logprof at May 11, 2026 12:42 PM (jo6FO)
Posted by: sock_rat_eez at May 11, 2026 12:42 PM (VyBeY)
Posted by: Jeff Spicoli at May 11, 2026 12:42 PM (Zz0t1)
Sounds like McDs
Posted by: aliassmith smith
CEO lies like a motherfucker. No such thing as a $7 Dominoes.
Walking in and picking it up is $20.
Posted by: rickb223 at May 11, 2026 12:42 PM (S838b)
Actually, that's what the ewok said.
This needs to be printed up and placed randomly around major metropolises/-i. We need more dialogs about impromptu prostate exams.
Posted by: All Hail Eris, She Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at May 11, 2026 12:43 PM (kpS4V)
Posted by: logprof at May 11, 2026 12:42 PM (jo6FO)
Yes.
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at May 11, 2026 12:43 PM (Zz0t1)
Posted by: Anna Puma at May 11, 2026 12:40 PM (2GVsD)
I saw that at the aviationist. Wicked paint job!
Posted by: Washington Nearsider: Gotterdammerung at May 11, 2026 12:43 PM (iNUL3)
Logically there are two ways you can review our current state of vote security:
1) It can be violated and we should be vigilant because people are incentivized to cheat
2) The American system is impervious to fraud. There is no point in even looking for it.
And yet our leftwing "friends" jump back and forth between "only lying NAZIs think an election can be stolen" and "Of course Trump stole the election!"
Posted by: 18-1 at May 11, 2026 12:43 PM (sKqQm)
Posted by: tubal at May 11, 2026 12:44 PM (Gqar8)
Posted by: sock_rat_eez at May 11, 2026 12:44 PM (VyBeY)
Posted by: logprof
Yeah. Gabby Giffords.
USN named a can after her. Has a huge dent in the port side bridge and only turns left.
Posted by: rickb223 at May 11, 2026 12:44 PM (S838b)
Posted by: Anna Puma at May 11, 2026 12:44 PM (2GVsD)
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at May 11, 2026 12:44 PM (Zz0t1)
Walking in and picking it up is $20.
Posted by: rickb223 at May 11, 2026 12:42 PM (S838b)
The boy child and I get Dominos delivered every Friday.
2 medium one-topping pizzas.
2 16-count garlic knots.
$19.99 + tip
Posted by: Washington Nearsider: Gotterdammerung at May 11, 2026 12:45 PM (iNUL3)
Posted by: logprof at May 11, 2026 12:45 PM (jo6FO)
What the hell happened to Pizza?
It all sucks now.
$5 frozen is now better than most chains.
Posted by: Reforger at May 11, 2026 12:45 PM (ZFqKB)
Posted by: eleven at May 11, 2026 12:45 PM (aTgV0)
Of course the irony is they ignored 20-24 when prices doubled and seem to be making the argument Trump failed because he only stopped Bidenflation and didn't cause a deflationary event to bring prices back to what they were before the Bidenjunta.
Posted by: 18-1 at May 11, 2026 12:45 PM (sKqQm)
Posted by: tubal at May 11, 2026 12:44 PM (Gqar
---
Some options are around $6 at Wallyworld.
Posted by: Chairman LMAO at May 11, 2026 12:45 PM (cWLG3)
Posted by: rickb223
Nearly every man will get prostate cancer if he lives long enough.
Posted by: Bulg at May 11, 2026 12:46 PM (77rzZ)
Posted by: Anna Puma at May 11, 2026 12:44 PM (2GVsD)
If you miss him too much you could always turn on the funeral see how that's going.
Posted by: ... at May 11, 2026 12:46 PM (/YotI)
I am thinking of getting an F-15E, gather up the add-ons, and wait for the decals of 91-311.
Posted by: Anna Puma at May 11, 2026 12:46 PM (2GVsD)
Many years ago, before I was aware of Rule 34, I was scrolling through a list of USENET news groups, and I saw one titled alt.penguin.fetish.recovery. Posted by: Freshy at May 11, 2026 12:39 PM (sJsBN)
*The Led Zeppelin Mudshark has entered the chat*
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at May 11, 2026 12:46 PM (y9nCu)
Democrats Deliver
@DemzDeliver
HUGE: Minnesota Democrats just created an independent office to aggressively go after fraud."
Prediction: Within 30 days Somalis will have set up dozens of state funded independent fraud detection offices.
Posted by: Ripley at May 11, 2026 12:35 PM (PTDkx)
------------
Outsourced to Chy-na a la Califzuela.
Posted by: ShainS at May 11, 2026 12:46 PM (ePd8V)
Posted by: logprof at May 11, 2026 12:46 PM (jo6FO)
Posted by: Intercepted Reddit Transmissions brought by the Intrepid AoS Liaison at May 11, 2026 12:23 PM (JCZqz)
________
This is very very telling. Up until about a week ago, these reddit termites were crowing and bragging how the 2026 midterms would be the end of MAGA. Then the VRA and VA redistricting decisions came down. Reality fucked them so deep in the ass they can taste the dick. They are now pivoting 180 degrees to lay battlespace prep for MAGA winning the midterms.
Posted by: Elric The Blade at May 11, 2026 12:47 PM (iFTx/)
Posted by: Stateless - He ain't heavy, he's my dog at May 11, 2026 12:47 PM (Sco7b)
Posted by: Brother Tim (102mm/W59), Keeper of the Tim Continuum at May 11, 2026 12:47 PM (OUMaO)
"Put in another finger"
"Put in your thumb"
"Now put in your other hand"
The hokey poker.
That's what it's all about.
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 11, 2026 12:47 PM (Cqx++)
My joke wasn't funny enough to redo.
Posted by: logprof at May 11, 2026 12:46 PM (jo6FO)
The Moving Finger Writes
And having written is immediately autocorrected.
Posted by: tubal at May 11, 2026 12:48 PM (Gqar8)
Posted by: muldoon at May 11, 2026 12:48 PM (I0N4X)
Posted by: Anna Puma at May 11, 2026 12:48 PM (2GVsD)
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 11, 2026 12:48 PM (HdYcL)
Your jokes were always funny enough to redo. You haven't gotten boring, have you.
Posted by: ... at May 11, 2026 12:48 PM (/YotI)
Posted by: Freshy at May 11, 2026 12:39 PM (sJsBN)
------------
The primary Moderator there was some dude named "Ducanthrax."
Posted by: ShainS at May 11, 2026 12:48 PM (ePd8V)
Posted by: Harry Vandenburg
=======
PSA tests are more reliable unless the prostate is grossly enlarged. You don't want to know how I know this.
And btw, most urologists never order sizing ultrasounds for prostates which is necessary to determine proper treatment as not all urinary issues come from an enlarged prostate.
And no, TURP is NOT the gold standard for enlarged prostates--HOLEP is which can also give you biopsy results without the punch for checking for prostate cancer. TURP or other nasty things like radio ablation or even steam REZUM treatment cannot.
If you gotta have enlarged prostate surgery absent total removal, find a surgeon who does HOLEP. Faster recovery time as well and fewer side effects.
Posted by: whig at May 11, 2026 12:48 PM (E4rtv)
Posted by: pookysgirl is very excited at May 11, 2026 12:15 PM (Wt5PA)
What a gift, indeed. God is good! Prayers for you, your "gift", and family.
Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at May 11, 2026 12:48 PM (N39Ws)
Posted by: muldoon at May 11, 2026 12:48 PM (I0N4X)
"......I don't mean to roll ya over and do ya dry here, but....."
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at May 11, 2026 12:49 PM (Zz0t1)
Posted by: Elric The Blade at May 11, 2026 12:47 PM (iFTx/)
Their admissions by accusations are always revealing as they are incapable of any sort of thought processes outside of their own natural inclinations.
Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at May 11, 2026 12:49 PM (dK+Kv)
BREAKING: Dept of War to investigate Senator Mark Kelly for revealing classified information about U.S. weapons stockpiles on TV
Posted by: weft cut-loop
The only reason to give either Kelly access to classified info is because they will tell everyone what it is, then you can arrrest them and execute all nice and legal.
Posted by: Operator Error at May 11, 2026 12:49 PM (03Cyy)
Posted by: muldoon
======
Unlubed for his pleasure.
Posted by: whig at May 11, 2026 12:49 PM (E4rtv)
Posted by: Anna Puma at May 11, 2026 12:50 PM (2GVsD)
Look at their support for illegals. Support of trans over women, Support for supporters of Islamic terrorism. Support for any group that blames America for any problem.
And recently support for Iran over America.
Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at May 11, 2026 12:50 PM (52qkP)
Posted by: muldoon at May 11, 2026 12:48 PM (I0N4X)
---
I think it's misdirection, to minimize squirming before insertion.
Posted by: Chairman LMAO at May 11, 2026 12:50 PM (cWLG3)
Posted by: rickb223 at May 11, 2026 12:42 PM (S838b)
Ordering is $25 minimum- with a coupon (online.)
Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 11, 2026 12:50 PM (bss/y)
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 11, 2026 12:50 PM (HdYcL)
Posted by: muldoon at May 11, 2026 12:48 PM (I0N4X)
---
I think it's misdirection, to minimize squirming before insertion.
Posted by: Chairman LMAO at May 11, 2026 12:50 PM (cWLG3)
It's the pump fake.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 11, 2026 12:51 PM (bss/y)
Posted by: Operator Error
======
It would be funny as hell if the administration briefing had given Congress critters disinfo about ammo stocks just to provoke these jackoffs to reveal it. You pursue the investigation to persuade the Iranians that the information was 'real'.
Posted by: whig at May 11, 2026 12:51 PM (E4rtv)
Today I performed a biopsy and fulguration of two lesions on an Ewok's bladder using only nitrous oxide to sedate the patient. Heh heh heh.
Sincerely,
Dr. Ihateewoks
Posted by: That's No Moon at May 11, 2026 12:51 PM (qUkBO)
Posted by: rickb223 at May 11, 2026 12:42 PM (S838b)
Same as in town.
Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at May 11, 2026 12:52 PM (dK+Kv)
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 11, 2026 12:50 PM (HdYcL)
Leaking shit to the media is one thing.
This f*cker is running straight to a camera and spewing things he shouldn't be directly.
Bust his ass and throw him in prison awaiting trial for treason.
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at May 11, 2026 12:52 PM (Zz0t1)
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 11, 2026 12:52 PM (HdYcL)
Also, Ewok taint can't be pleasant.
Posted by: Maj. Healey at May 11, 2026 12:52 PM (abIsI)
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at May 11, 2026 12:53 PM (Zz0t1)
Posted by: ... at May 11, 2026 12:22 PM (/YotI)
Blown cover as cover. Classic ewok gambit.
Posted by: SciVo at May 11, 2026 12:53 PM (Sy6m/)
Tell me the DEO doesn't eat his own company's food without telling me the CEO doesn't eat his own company's food.
Dominoes hasn't been $7 for a pizza in 20 years.
Posted by: FeatherBlade at May 11, 2026 12:53 PM (vJrRc)
Posted by: Fenderbender at May 11, 2026 12:53 PM (1FEc1)
2 medium one-topping pizzas.
2 16-count garlic knots.
$19.99 + tip
Posted by: Washington Nearsider: Gotterdammerung
Large 14" thin crust MeatZZa $20.99 carryout.
Just priced it.
Nowhere near $7.
Posted by: rickb223 at May 11, 2026 12:53 PM (S838b)
Posted by: Bulg at May 11, 2026 12:53 PM (77rzZ)
Posted by: Maj. Healey at May 11, 2026 12:52 PM (abIsI)
Dingleberries. Although, you'd think Chewy would be worse.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 11, 2026 12:53 PM (bss/y)
Say what you will about him, Paul did yeoman work in confronting Fauci during Covid.
Posted by: Archimedes at May 11, 2026 12:53 PM (Riz8t)
Radome was black on the 111's, but definitely close...and awesome...
Best assignment ever!
Posted by: fxdwg at May 11, 2026 12:54 PM (xfTc5)
Posted by: Ben Had at May 11, 2026 12:54 PM (z2aPa)
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at May 11, 2026 12:52 PM (Zz0t1)
Nah, just shoot him in the face.
The more powerful the gub the better.
Posted by: XTC at May 11, 2026 12:54 PM (FpHTM)
Deep down they have this grudging respect for the Right as they see us as fighters and independent thinkers. Go with me here because it's true. I don't mean their surface accusations that we're followers. Go beyond the dumb shit they say as it's all lies and manipulation.
They know in parts of their body they don't like to talk about much that their fellow leftards are brainless sheep and would follow a sentient pine cone over the edge of the earth if it claimed to be for abortion and open borders. And because of this and their general hatred for all humanity, they DESPISE their own kind. Why they treat them so well when the revolution really hits.
Posted by: ... at May 11, 2026 12:54 PM (/YotI)
Posted by: Elric The Blade at May 11, 2026
Nancy did an interview saying she is concerned the R’s are going to hack the voting machines.
Sometimes you just have to stare in awe.
Posted by: Piper at May 11, 2026 12:54 PM (pZEOD)
Had a woman doctor years ago, she actually kidded about me being happy about that during a prostate exam.
Posted by: Auspex at May 11, 2026 12:54 PM (Y8DZL)
Magic Johnson on Monday endorsed Karen Bass in the Los Angeles mayoral race.
Posted by: wth at May 11, 2026 12:54 PM (UjdFS)
We've discussed that possibility here for a long time starting with the billions in weapons we've given to Ukraine.
Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at May 11, 2026 12:55 PM (52qkP)
Posted by: rickb223 at May 11, 2026 12:18 PM
You speak of knowledge about the anal area like it's a Bad Thing.
Posted by: Hope Rolo at May 11, 2026 12:55 PM (0sNs1)
McCain's funeral ended with George Floyd. Everyone knows that.
Posted by: Ian S. at May 11, 2026 12:55 PM (2ocoG)
The more powerful the gub the better.
Posted by: XTC at May 11, 2026 12:54 PM (FpHTM)
Well, we'd have to tie him in place for .950 jdj. And borrow one of the three.
Should be able to make it happen.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 11, 2026 12:55 PM (bss/y)
Magic Johnson on Monday endorsed Karen Bass in the Los Angeles mayoral race.
Posted by: wth at May 11, 2026 12:54 PM (UjdFS)
That should endure him with fans........
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at May 11, 2026 12:55 PM (Zz0t1)
Your jokes were always funny enough to redo. You haven't gotten boring, have you.
Posted by: ... at May 11, 2026 12:48 PM (/YotI)
--Thanks.
I'd like to point out that the ewok requires a prostrate prostate exam. (If that is already in the poster, well, I for one didn't scrutinize it. And that wasn't the intended gag.)
Posted by: logprof at May 11, 2026 12:55 PM (jo6FO)
Posted by: eleven at May 11, 2026 12:55 PM (aTgV0)
Sounds like McDs
Posted by: aliassmith smith at May 11, 2026 12:40 PM (mOFsQ)
Or maybe Americans don’t want to eat cardboard massaging as pizza? Lol
It’s easy for a shitty ceo of a shitty company to blame the economy when their company puts out shit nobody wants.
And dumb fucks like you fall for it.
Posted by: Heroq at May 11, 2026 12:56 PM (9V6lq)
Just priced it.
Nowhere near $7.
Posted by: rickb223 at May 11, 2026 12:53 PM (S838b)
Check under deals.
We do it literally every Friday.
Posted by: Washington Nearsider: Gotterdammerung at May 11, 2026 12:56 PM (iNUL3)
Posted by: Ben Had at May 11, 2026 12:54 PM (z2aPa)
We make our own at home and can probably get below $10 for two 18" pizzas. It's got to be really good pizza for us to get better than that out in town.
Otherwise, Costco is cheapest/best around.
Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at May 11, 2026 12:56 PM (dK+Kv)
Yeah. Gabby Giffords.
USN named a can after her. Has a huge dent in the port side bridge and only turns left.
Posted by: rickb223 at May 11, 2026 12:44 PM (S838b)
The USS Giffords had serious plumbing issues.
They eventually found that it had a hole in the head.
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at May 11, 2026 12:56 PM (y9nCu)
Sometimes you just have to stare in awe.
Just don't stand too close to her, and have a fire extinguisher ready for when she bursts into flames.
Posted by: Archimedes at May 11, 2026 12:56 PM (Riz8t)
What the hell happened to Pizza?
It all sucks now.
$5 frozen is now better than most chains.
Posted by: Reforger
========
They are substituting cheaper ingredients is why. There are too many pizza stores (and burgers, etc.) and that is putting pressure on all these restaurant chains to make their products shittier to maintain franchisee profits which are getting squeezed by labor costs, Ubereats alternatives, and ingredient costs.
So enshittification of product.
Posted by: whig at May 11, 2026 12:56 PM (E4rtv)
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at May 11, 2026 12:55 PM (Zz0t1)
'Endear', sir.
Posted by: Patsy at May 11, 2026 12:56 PM (bss/y)
Unlubed for his pleasure.
Posted by: whig at May 11, 2026 12:49 PM (E4rtv)
____________
I wonder if there's a class-action lawsuit for those "ribbed for her pleasure" condoms. Sounds like a sure-fire finding for plaintiffs.
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 11, 2026 12:56 PM (HdYcL)
Man, you can't hide shit from Senators (for more than 5-6 years).
Posted by: I used to have a different nic at May 11, 2026 12:56 PM (ExV1e)
Sometimes you just have to stare in awe.
Just don't stand too close to her, and have a fire extinguisher ready for when she bursts into flames.
Posted by: Archimedes
======
Lying is her natural way of expressing herself. Bill Clinton in a dress.
Posted by: whig at May 11, 2026 12:57 PM (E4rtv)
Posted by: Han Chinese at May 11, 2026 12:57 PM (0sNs1)
She's also concerned that her husband is going to bang everything in California, possibly with a hammer.
Posted by: Ian S. at May 11, 2026 12:57 PM (2ocoG)
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at May 11, 2026 12:58 PM (Zz0t1)
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh
=======
The condom companies will use a trannie defense. References to "Her" meant male to female transitioners. They like rough trade.
Posted by: whig at May 11, 2026 12:58 PM (E4rtv)
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Fat, Dumb, and Happy at May 11, 2026 12:59 PM (ndZc7)
Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at May 11, 2026 12:59 PM (52qkP)
Speaking of cardboard it still bugs me that Dominoes prints "Recycle this box" on their pizza boxes.
Looks like they didn't get the memo that recycling places reject entire loads of paper for a single pizza box in the bundle.
Posted by: FeatherBlade at May 11, 2026 12:59 PM (vJrRc)
I honestly don’t understand how Dominos is still around. There are an infinite its number of better options for pizza out there.
Posted by: Heroq at May 11, 2026 12:59 PM (9V6lq)
Posted by: ... at May 11, 2026 12:59 PM (/YotI)
She's also concerned that her husband is going to bang everything in California, possibly with a hammer.
Posted by: Ian S.
=======
On the Streets of San Francisco, the rule of nature is bang or be banged. And bang others before they bang you. Tough town.
Posted by: whig at May 11, 2026 12:59 PM (E4rtv)
It's basically its own food group.
Posted by: ballistic at May 11, 2026 12:59 PM (oqH4h)
Posted by: Gabby Giffords at May 11, 2026 01:00 PM (4NO2D)
The patient says "My name is not Larry."
The doctor says "Mine is."
Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Totally Unserious at May 11, 2026 01:00 PM (xvV+O)
Whew...ever serve time, Doc?
Breathe easy.
Yeah...breathe easy...
Ahh!! Using the whole fist, Doc?!
Posted by: SpeakingOf at May 11, 2026 01:00 PM (6ydKt)
Posted by: sock_rat_eez at May 11, 2026 01:00 PM (VyBeY)
Posted by: Heroq
========
Inertia and some more rural places don't have alternatives anymore or if they do, it is small mom and pop shops.
Posted by: whig at May 11, 2026 01:00 PM (E4rtv)
Posted by: Bulg at May 11, 2026 01:01 PM (77rzZ)
Posted by: whig at May 11, 2026 12:51 PM (E4rtv)
This is actually quite likely, since the USN recently did things like run three Destroyers "slow and dumb" down the Hormuz straights to lure out the Iranian fastboats and get targeted by the remaining radars and launchers to target them, and this is not the first time the USN has pulled this sort of stratagem recently.
Posted by: Kindltot at May 11, 2026 01:01 PM (rbvCR)
American passengers exposed to hantavirus arrive in Nebraska to begin mandatory quarantine. Details here. 😬
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Fat, Dumb, and Happy at May 11, 2026 01:01 PM (ndZc7)
Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at May 11, 2026 01:01 PM (52qkP)
Who invented the ribbed condom? Was this ribbed thing something ladies would discover on their own?
Posted by: ... at May 11, 2026 12:59 PM (/YotI)
__________
http://patents.google.com
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 11, 2026 01:01 PM (HdYcL)
Posted by: wth at May 11, 2026 12:54 PM (UjdFS)
I predict that Bass will win the election by getting more votes than any of her opponents.
Posted by: Magic Johnson at May 11, 2026 01:02 PM (jo6FO)
Magic Johnson on Monday endorsed Karen Bass in the Los Angeles mayoral race.
Posted by: wth at May 11, 2026 12:54 PM (UjdFS)
You can't get any better evidence that all those people who claim he contracted HIV from a woman were wrong.
Posted by: tankdemon at May 11, 2026 01:02 PM (5eIFu)
Where I grew up Domino's was fine. Not amazing but not terrible. Good in a pinch and there was a lot of good pizza around already.
But when I moved several states away and told people I was ordering domino's they looked at me like I had three heads. This is maybe the early 90's. Then I ordered it. It was inedible, like it had been sitting in a dumpster.
Posted by: ... at May 11, 2026 01:02 PM (/YotI)
I usually read most of the comments on the Tech thread (except the ones too technical or anime for me to understand), cruise through the comments on the Report, read the comments on the Art sometimes all (like today, because so many were so
MiladyJo cheats by reading latest posts first, then back to the Report.
Hurrying to post this before Ace gets another one up.
Posted by: mindful webworker - reading chronologically at May 11, 2026 01:03 PM (Cl/mc)
You know how I know your house or any of your family's homes didn't burn down?
Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at May 11, 2026 01:03 PM (52qkP)
Say what you will about him, Paul did yeoman work in confronting Fauci during Covid.
Posted by: Archimedes at May 11, 2026 12:53 PM (Riz8t)
Let us not forget that the APOTUS (Alzheimers Patient of the United States) gave Fauci a blanket pardon. He is untouchable.
Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at May 11, 2026 01:03 PM (N39Ws)
https://acecomments.mu.nu/?post=419668
Posted by: mindful webworker - Ace is too quick for me at May 11, 2026 01:04 PM (Cl/mc)
Posted by: Our Country is Screwed
=======
Won't work if some state charges him. General consensus is that federal pardons only apply to federal crimes. Lots of depraved indifference and other charges could stick in states if they were so inclined.
Posted by: whig at May 11, 2026 01:05 PM (E4rtv)
She's also concerned that her husband is going to bang everything in California, possibly with a hammer.
Posted by: Ian S. at May 11, 2026 12:57 PM (2ocoG)
-------------
Where's Weird Al when you need a "U Can’t Touch This" parody?
My, my, my, my hammer hits me so hard
Makes me say "Oh Dark Lord
Thank you for blessing me
With a wife to slime and two Left feet
Feels good when you know you're down
A superdope whiteboy from the Mobtown
And I'm known
as such
And this is my meat -- uh you can't touch
Posted by: ShainS at May 11, 2026 01:07 PM (ePd8V)
We've discussed that possibility here for a long time starting with the billions in weapons we've given to Ukraine.
Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at May 11
He specifically claimed he got the information from a classified briefing, so whether it is common knowledge is irrelevant. He could have cited speculation from a non-classified source if he wanted to make the point.
Posted by: tankdemon at May 11, 2026 01:08 PM (5eIFu)
Translation : you bastard, you didn't even buy me dinner
Posted by: Smell the Glove at May 11, 2026 01:10 PM (gu0hJ)
American passengers exposed to hantavirus arrive in Nebraska to begin mandatory quarantine. Details here. 😬
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Fat, Dumb, and Happy at May 11, 2026 01:01 PM (ndZc7)
My sympathies to Nebraska.
Posted by: tankdemon at May 11, 2026 01:14 PM (5eIFu)
Posted by: The Dog at May 11, 2026 01:26 PM (XodLO)
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Buy ammo at May 11, 2026 01:28 PM (xcxpd)
Posted by: Jerry Carroll at May 11, 2026 01:48 PM (RRQTN)
Hope all is well, in all seriousness.
Posted by: RM at May 11, 2026 02:03 PM (n/1Oj)
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Paul Anka Haiku Contest Announcement
Integrity SAT's: Entrance Exam for Paul Anka's Band
AllahPundit's Paul Anka 45's Collection
AnkaPundit: Paul Anka Takes Over the Site for a Weekend (Continues through to Monday's postings)
George Bush Slices Don Rumsfeld Like an F*ckin' Hammer
Democratic Forays into Erotica
New Shows On Gore's DNC/MTV Network
Nicknames for Potatoes, By People Who Really Hate Potatoes
Star Wars Euphemisms for Self-Abuse
Signs You're at an Iraqi "Wedding Party"
Signs Your Clown Has Gone Bad
Signs That You, Geroge Michael, Should Probably Just Give It Up
Signs of Hip-Hop Influence on John Kerry
NYT Headlines Spinning Bush's Jobs Boom
Things People Are More Likely to Say Than "Did You Hear What Al Franken Said Yesterday?"
Signs that Paul Krugman Has Lost His Frickin' Mind
All-Time Best NBA Players, According to Senator Robert Byrd
Other Bad Things About the Jews, According to the Koran
Signs That David Letterman Just Doesn't Care Anymore
Examples of Bob Kerrey's Insufferable Racial Jackassery
Signs Andy Rooney Is Going Senile
Other Judgments Dick Clarke Made About Condi Rice Based on Her Appearance
Collective Names for Groups of People
John Kerry's Other Vietnam Super-Pets
Cool Things About the XM8 Assault Rifle
Media-Approved Facts About the Democrat Spy
Changes to Make Christianity More "Inclusive"
Secret John Kerry Senatorial Accomplishments
John Edwards Campaign Excuses
John Kerry Pick-Up Lines
Changes Liberal Senator George Michell Will Make at Disney
Torments in Dog-Hell
The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)