First World Problems...

Sigh...we had some heavy drinkers over yesterday for a roast, and the bast*rds drank most of my Guinness!

Why is it that people will gravitate toward that which is in short supply? I have about 40 bottles of Bourbon, but no...they had to knock off the beer first!

Well, actually...during, but still!

Posted by: CBD at 02:00 PM

Comments

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1 I'd go for the Guinness.

Posted by: mindful webworker - if poured right at May 10, 2026 02:01 PM (Cl/mc)

2 Not many takers on this thread, so far. FWP

Posted by: mindful webworker - another at May 10, 2026 02:02 PM (Cl/mc)

3 Never had a trifecta before. Feels... like nothing.

Posted by: mindful webworker - thurd? at May 10, 2026 02:03 PM (Cl/mc)

4 Was napping

Posted by: Skip at May 10, 2026 02:04 PM (Ia/+0)

5 FWP: I wanted to try some other nitro stout and the store only had Guinness. I like the widget cans. I don't drink enough to make it worth trying the "nitro surge" thingie.

Posted by: Oddbob at May 10, 2026 02:05 PM (vTZFs)

6 FWP: I'm stuck at my MiL's for a few more hours.

Amuse me, Morons.

Posted by: toby928(c) at May 10, 2026 02:05 PM (yTFk8)

7 Did you notify downstairs?

Posted by: Skip at May 10, 2026 02:05 PM (Ia/+0)

8 Sometimes I start to read a comment, then I see it says "Skip," so I do.😁

Posted by: mindful webworker - to m' loo my darling at May 10, 2026 02:06 PM (Cl/mc)

9 It less dangerous than Bourbon, if you don't count the bomb the following morning.

Posted by: Shen Nan I Gan at May 10, 2026 02:06 PM (/woqj)

10 Steak or kale? Decisions, decisions.

Posted by: Case at May 10, 2026 02:06 PM (NWIIQ)

11 Did you notify downstairs?
Posted by: Skip

Why disturb their happy chatter?

Posted by: mindful webworker - non-nooder (for now) at May 10, 2026 02:07 PM (Cl/mc)

12 The last Guinness I had in a bottle wasn't even 12oz. It was 11.3oz.

WTAF

Posted by: Martini Farmer at May 10, 2026 02:08 PM (jehhT)

13 Guiness is a "BEER OF COLOR" and that is good because that makes Guiness a Nonracist Beer.

Posted by: Jackson K. at May 10, 2026 02:09 PM (38587)

14
Sundays I leave at a quarter after 5 to drive the 45 miles to church. Traffic shouldn't be bad at that time, right?

Not this morning. I hit the jackpot. Drunk drivers, stoned drivers, cars with no lights, cars with 500,000 candlepower lights, cars doing 100 and cars doing 40.

I don't want to take the toll road, but you get a slightly better quality of driver.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 10, 2026 02:09 PM (HdYcL)

15 6 FWP: I'm stuck at my MiL's for a few more hours.

Amuse me, Morons.
Posted by: toby928(c) at May 10, 2026 02:05 PM (yTFk

If you can't physically escape you have to fully dissociate if you don't want to keep feeling the torture.

Posted by: A bit out of body at May 10, 2026 02:10 PM (TbWk/)

16
FWP: I'm stuck at my MiL's for a few more hours.

____________

May as well burn it all down. "Your daughter is just like you."

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 10, 2026 02:13 PM (HdYcL)

17 You need less sophisticated drinker friends. Then you could just put out a keg of Stroh's and they'd be thrilled.

Posted by: illiniwek at May 10, 2026 02:16 PM (vbXSk)

18 As I ponder what FWP I might have (which I usually don't), I came up with this.

Built this new house a couple of years ago. There is veneer on the kitchen, pantry, and bathroom cabinet tops. A couple of weeks ago, it all started coming off. Most can probably be glued back easily, but not the bubble on the kitchen cabinet.

If it were an appliance, I'd think the warranty just ran out.

Before I DIY fix it, I'm going to see what the builder thinks. Fortunately, he's around, helping with rehabbing the old house. But should I trust him?

Posted by: mindful webworker - unglued at May 10, 2026 02:16 PM (Cl/mc)

19 I feel our pain CBD.

The same thing used to happen with my home brew. Someone would bring a commercial keg and my brews would empty before my 3rd pint. The horror!

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at May 10, 2026 02:17 PM (SC8Ww)

20 Bourbon and Guiness. This is not an either-or situation.

Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at May 10, 2026 02:17 PM (EXyHK)

21 In honor of today's super special day

Hush now, baby, baby, don't you cry
Mama's gonna make all of your nightmares come true
Mama's gonna put all of her fears into you
Mama's gonna keep you right here under her wing
She won't let you fly but she might let you sing
Mama's gonna keep baby cozy and warm

Ooh, baby, ooh, baby, ooh, baby
Of course mama's gonna help build the wall

Posted by: Annual tradition of the Pink Floyd variety at May 10, 2026 02:18 PM (TbWk/)

22 C'mon over to my place CBD. I'll work on your bourbon!

Posted by: 496 at May 10, 2026 02:18 PM (sOtuf)

23 FWP: "Pedestrians" breaking into airports and prancing down the runway to be swallowed into an oncoming jet engine, turning them into a Manwich Sandwich.

FW solution:

https://tinyurl.com/6smzfdua

Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at May 10, 2026 02:21 PM (y1wyK)

24 Saw The Wall live in London

Posted by: Skip at May 10, 2026 02:22 PM (Ia/+0)

25 Otters called

Posted by: SciVo at May 10, 2026 02:22 PM (Sy6m/)

26 Finally a nice day outside, hardly been out

Posted by: Skip at May 10, 2026 02:23 PM (Ia/+0)

27 23 FWP: "Pedestrians" breaking into airports and prancing down the runway to be swallowed into an oncoming jet engine, turning them into a Manwich Sandwich.

FW solution:

https://tinyurl.com/6smzfdua
Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at May 10, 2026 02:21 PM (y1wyK)

I'm all for natural selection doing its thing.

Posted by: Make some chili at May 10, 2026 02:23 PM (TbWk/)

28 @6
Amuse me, Morons.

You didn't bring a flask with you? That should have been priority.

Posted by: Case at May 10, 2026 02:25 PM (NWIIQ)

29 My truck has four quarts of Guinness. To lubricate the engine.

Posted by: Cow Demon at May 10, 2026 02:26 PM (nUR++)

30 I'm all for natural selection doing its thing.

Posted by: Make some chili at May 10, 2026 02:23 PM (TbWk/)
-

1. Super expensive.

2. Who's gonna clean that up?!?!?!

Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at May 10, 2026 02:27 PM (y1wyK)

31 I'm all for natural selection doing its thing.

Posted by: Make some chili at May 10, 2026 02:23 PM (TbWk/)
-

1. Super expensive.

2. Who's gonna clean that up?!?!?!
Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at May 10, 2026 02:27 PM (y1wyK)

Fair point. Send their surviving family a bill for the engine repair and decontamination. And make them shovel the ground Chuck off the tarmac.

Posted by: SWIDT? at May 10, 2026 02:29 PM (TbWk/)

32
Her Majesty informed me a fellow Borzoi breeder suffered a broken tibia, femur, C-2 and has had a concussion. She's in ICU and will need surgery. Given she's about our age, I'd be surprised if she ever recovers.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 10, 2026 02:31 PM (HdYcL)

33 > 1. Super expensive.

2. Who's gonna clean that up?!?!?!
-------
The "after" photo of the affected engine is.... wild. All the fan blades are gone. And inside of the engine cowling is pink.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at May 10, 2026 02:32 PM (jehhT)

34 I'd be surprised if she ever recovers.
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 10, 2026 02:31 PM

Freak show accident?

Posted by: toby928(c) at May 10, 2026 02:33 PM (yTFk8)

35
All the news reports say the trespasser who died at the Denver airport was "struck by the aircraft," no mention of going into the engine. How diplomatic.

Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at May 10, 2026 02:34 PM (VWtfl)

36
Freak show accident?

Posted by: toby928(c) at May 10, 2026 02:33 PM (yTFk

___________

Don't know, but my guess is a car accident on the way to the National Specialty.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 10, 2026 02:34 PM (HdYcL)

37 Don't know, but my guess is a car accident on the way to the National Specialty.
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 10, 2026 02:34 PM

Awful. Was she an actual friend or just a fellow breeder?

Posted by: toby928(c) at May 10, 2026 02:36 PM (yTFk8)

38
It's the new TikTok Jet Engine Challenge!

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 10, 2026 02:36 PM (HdYcL)

39 All the news reports say the trespasser who died at the Denver airport was "struck by the aircraft," no mention of going into the engine. How diplomatic.
Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug

NY Post had a photo of the engine after it chewed him up and spit him out. Unpleasant to say the least.

Posted by: Tuna at May 10, 2026 02:36 PM (lJ0H4)

40 May as well burn it all down. "Your daughter is just like you."
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 10, 2026

Today, in separate texts, my older 2 both told me they look in the mirror and see me, and the words out of their mouths sound suspiciously familiar more and more frequently. It is happening, they are turning in to me, and it is nowhere near as bad as they thought when they were teenagers.

Oh, and then in our group text, my oldest said she just wanted to thank me again for my very dominant genes. Best Mother’s Day gift ever. 🤣

Posted by: Piper at May 10, 2026 02:38 PM (Dd38x)

41 My First World Problem is that Whole Foods has changed the recipe for their English muffins that I sometimes eat for breakfast. The new versions are smaller and thinner (shrinkflation, anyone?), and don't toast as nicely as the old ones.

Next week's project is to buy some different brands and try to find a version I like.

Or go back to oatmeal for breakfast.

Posted by: a.moron at May 10, 2026 02:38 PM (X5Jzz)

42 NY Post had a photo of the engine after it chewed him up and spit him out. Unpleasant to say the least.
Posted by: Tuna at May 10, 2026 02:36 PM (lJ0H4)

Was he getting into the Spirit of things?

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 10, 2026 02:38 PM (utfVc)

43 2 Not many takers on this thread, so far. FWP
Posted by: mindful webworker - another at May 10, 2026 02:02 PM (Cl/mc)

Pastor hates it when I text during the sermon.

Posted by: Diogenes at May 10, 2026 02:39 PM (2WIwB)

44
Was he getting into the Spirit of things?

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 10, 2026 02:38 PM (utfVc)

___________

No, it was the final Frontier.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 10, 2026 02:39 PM (HdYcL)

45 32
Her Majesty informed me a fellow Borzoi breeder suffered a broken tibia, femur, C-2 and has had a concussion. She's in ICU and will need surgery. Given she's about our age, I'd be surprised if she ever recovers.
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 10, 2026 02

Awful news. I am sorry to hear this.

Posted by: Piper at May 10, 2026 02:39 PM (Dd38x)

46 Several folks, including a pilot that I know have said they are open minded to the idea that the Frontier Airline pedestrian pink mist event was an almost successful terrorist suicide effort.

But hey, Third world problem, and this is a FWP thread.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at May 10, 2026 02:39 PM (iMotb)

47 I do the shopping for my parents, who are both in their 80s now, so that all my dad has to do is show up and pay. And one thing I do is make sure that everything is fully stocked with extra in the pantry, because there does seem to be a "scarcity syndrome" where if something is perceived to be in short supply, then it will get consumed faster.

But you know, many people are just beer drinkers, and avoid the hard stuff as likely to mess up the rate and result in overindulgence. I don't think anyone ever looked at a shelf full of bourbon and thought, "Oh no, that's too much, I couldn't possibly finish it off tonight so I won't bother having any."

And there is also an inverse "last corner of the casserole" syndrome at potlucks. I don't know if people think that eating half of the dish doesn't count as calories if they're not the one to finish it off, or if they're holding out for a fresh dish, but that last corner is likely to end up thrown out or pity eaten by the cook.

Posted by: SciVo at May 10, 2026 02:41 PM (Sy6m/)

48 damn. i've got maybe 15 blurbons. at least the bag of cork stoppers is impressive.

Posted by: cmeat at May 10, 2026 02:41 PM (R11M+)

49 41 My First World Problem is that Whole Foods has changed the recipe for their English muffins that I sometimes eat for breakfast. The new versions are smaller and thinner (shrinkflation, anyone?), and don't toast as nicely as the old ones.

Next week's project is to buy some different brands and try to find a version I like.

Or go back to oatmeal for breakfast.

Posted by: a.moron at May 10, 2026 02:38 PM (X5Jzz)

Our local Vons changed the way they make Susan cookies. More cookie, less chocolate. Pffft......

Haven't bought any since. Just as well - I don't need anymore cookies.

Posted by: Anonymous Rogue in Kalifornistan (ARiK) at May 10, 2026 02:42 PM (QGaXH)

50 33 > 1. Super expensive.

2. Who's gonna clean that up?!?!?!
-------
The "after" photo of the affected engine is.... wild. All the fan blades are gone. And inside of the engine cowling is pink.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at May 10, 2026 02:32 PM (jehhT)

Yeah, I saw that. Who knew they paint the insides of jet engines pink?

Oh . . .

Posted by: a.moron at May 10, 2026 02:43 PM (X5Jzz)

51
Our local Vons changed the way they make Susan cookies. More cookie, less chocolate. Pffft......

__________

Our local HEB has greatly improved their frosted sugar cookies. They're lighter, less like the door stop they used to be.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 10, 2026 02:44 PM (HdYcL)

52 35
All the news reports say the trespasser who died at the Denver airport was "struck by the aircraft," no mention of going into the engine. How diplomatic.

Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at May 10, 2026 02:34 PM (VWtfl)

One report I read quoted a passenger who was looking out the window when the "pedestrian" was "struck by the aircraft" as saying he saw parts flying out of the engine.

People parts, not engine parts.

Posted by: a.moron at May 10, 2026 02:45 PM (X5Jzz)

53
Fricaseed pedestrian.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 10, 2026 02:45 PM (HdYcL)

54 Today, in separate texts, my older 2 both told me they look in the mirror and see me, and the words out of their mouths sound suspiciously familiar more and more frequently. It is happening, they are turning in to me, and it is nowhere near as bad as they thought when they were teenagers.

Oh, and then in our group text, my oldest said she just wanted to thank me again for my very dominant genes. Best Mother’s Day gift ever.

That's nice. If there was any way to erase any and all traces of the female mammal that birthed me from myself I would do it in a heartbeat.

Posted by: Don't worry I have some word for Fathers Day too at May 10, 2026 02:45 PM (TbWk/)

55
Standing on runway, minding own business.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 10, 2026 02:46 PM (HdYcL)

56 Trump cucked bigly by Iran.
$5 gas for nothing.
Thanks Bibi.
Shalom.

Sad!

Posted by: Le Haim at May 10, 2026 02:46 PM (agTDo)

57 50 33 > 1. Super expensive.

2. Who's gonna clean that up?!?!?!
-------
The "after" photo of the affected engine is.... wild. All the fan blades are gone. And inside of the engine cowling is pink.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at May 10, 2026 02:32 PM (jehhT)

Yeah, I saw that. Who knew they paint the insides of jet engines pink?

Oh . . .

Posted by: a.moron at May 10, 2026 02:43 PM (X5Jzz)

Well, they need a more effective way of assuring the runway and airport in general is clear of unauthorized pedestrians.

Posted by: Anonymous Rogue in Kalifornistan (ARiK) at May 10, 2026 02:47 PM (QGaXH)

58 Shouldn't the Stormfag troll be concerned about the shocking increase in the price of Astroglide?

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 10, 2026 02:48 PM (utfVc)

59 44
Was he getting into the Spirit of things?

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 10, 2026 02:38 PM (utfVc)

___________

No, it was the final Frontier.
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 10, 2026 02:39 PM (HdYcL)

What's the Delta on human volume pre and post mincing?

Posted by: It's plane to see at May 10, 2026 02:48 PM (TbWk/)

60 41 i've only ever had thomas'
they're in the refrigerated section. and the new resealable flap is great.
not much for whole paycheck, but it is where i discovered parrano gouda.

Posted by: cmeat at May 10, 2026 02:48 PM (R11M+)

61 Engines are part of the aircradt

Posted by: Skip at May 10, 2026 02:48 PM (Ia/+0)

62 Can you get hantavirus from oral? Asking for a friend.

Posted by: Le Laim at May 10, 2026 02:48 PM (vFG9F)

63 49

Our local Vons changed the way they make Susan cookies. More cookie, less chocolate. Pffft......

Haven't bought any since. Just as well - I don't need anymore cookies.

Posted by: Anonymous Rogue in Kalifornistan (ARiK) at May 10, 2026 02:42 PM (QGaXH)

Hopefully they didn't reduce the amount of Susan they put in the cookies. Or substitute Karen for Susan in the recipe.

Posted by: a.moron at May 10, 2026 02:49 PM (X5Jzz)

64
What's the Delta on human volume pre and post mincing?

Posted by: It's plane to see at May 10, 2026 02:48 PM (TbWk/)

___________

We don't even know if he was American.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 10, 2026 02:49 PM (HdYcL)

65 62 Can you get hantavirus from oral? Asking for a friend.
Posted by: Le Laim at May 10, 2026 02:48 PM (vFG9F)

Only if you blow a rat.

Posted by: Which in this case wouldn't surprise me at May 10, 2026 02:49 PM (TbWk/)

66 So it's a hooch thread?

Posted by: Just got here at May 10, 2026 02:51 PM (AqVO0)

67 It's only true Guinness when it is drawn from a tap into a pint mug, with a clover impression in the foam. If the barkeep rolls his/her r's, then it's certainly real.

viz: https://shorturl.at/nC2XH

Posted by: Mike Hammer, �irinn go Br�ch! at May 10, 2026 02:51 PM (XeU6L)

68 So they are having a hard time identifying the person involved in the engine incident???

Posted by: lin-duh in Texas at May 10, 2026 02:52 PM (DNyHT)

69 Well, they need a more effective way of assuring the runway and airport in general is clear of unauthorized pedestrians.
Posted by: Anonymous Rogue in Kalifornistanp/

Yeah, but people get upset if you shoot them when they come through the fence

Posted by: FeatherBlade at May 10, 2026 02:53 PM (oebnX)

70 54

That's nice. If there was any way to erase any and all traces of the female mammal that birthed me from myself I would do it in a heartbeat.

Posted by: Don't worry I have some word for Fathers Day too at May 10, 2026 02:45 PM (TbWk/)

My sympathy to you and everyone else who had shitty parents. Take pride in the fact that you overcame that.

My parents weren't rich in material things, but they did everything they could to raise me right, and I thank them for that. Mom has been gone since 1984 and I still miss her.

Posted by: a.moron at May 10, 2026 02:53 PM (X5Jzz)

71 Guiness nitro on tap, with a Black Bush, neat, back, please Oh and put on Drop Kick Murphy's Kiss Me I'm Shitfaced.

Then I'm home in Poundtown with sweet Bridget from Dorchester.

Posted by: Field Marshal Zhukov at May 10, 2026 02:54 PM (wBaIH)

72 The skies weren't very friendly that day, my friends.

Posted by: George Costanza at May 10, 2026 02:54 PM (AqVO0)

73 56

Sad!

Posted by: Le Haim at May 10, 2026 02:46 PM (agTDo)

Yes, you are sad. Show us on the doll where the bad Orange Man touched you.

Posted by: a.moron at May 10, 2026 02:55 PM (X5Jzz)

74
My mother had six kids and even I turned out all right. I'd say that's a successful life.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 10, 2026 02:55 PM (HdYcL)

75 17 stroh's (it's shorts spelled backwards!} was the first to market 30 packs so... we drank one each on overnight dirt bike trips. sometimes needed one more for the ride home that was shared.
"some of you never ran from the cops on a two stroke, and it shows"

Posted by: cmeat at May 10, 2026 02:56 PM (R11M+)

76 So they are having a hard time identifying the person involved in the engine incident???
Posted by: lin-duh in Texas at May 10, 2026 02:52 PM (DNyHT)

Facial recognition is right out. Maybe DNA?

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 10, 2026 02:57 PM (utfVc)

77 My parents weren't rich in material things, but they did everything they could to raise me right, and I thank them for that. Mom has been gone since 1984 and I still miss her.
Posted by: a.moron at May 10, 2026 02:53 PM (X5Jzz)

Sorry to hear that. I'm glad she was a good mom while she was here.

Posted by: Count your blessings at May 10, 2026 02:57 PM (TbWk/)

78 60 41 i've only ever had thomas'
they're in the refrigerated section. and the new resealable flap is great.
not much for whole paycheck, but it is where i discovered parrano gouda.

Posted by: cmeat at May 10, 2026 02:48 PM (R11M+)

Thomas are OK, the old Whole Paycheck ones were better, in my opinion. I could go back to Thomas, if I can't find anything I like better.

Posted by: a.moron at May 10, 2026 02:58 PM (X5Jzz)

79 So they are having a hard time identifying the person involved in the engine incident???
Posted by: lin-duh in Texas at May 10, 2026 02:52 PM (DNyHT)

Facial recognition is right out. Maybe DNA?
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 10, 2026 02:57 PM (utfVc)

Funny, I see his face all over.

Posted by: Over here and over there and... at May 10, 2026 02:58 PM (TbWk/)

80 Things To Do In Denver When You're Shred

Posted by: gKWVE at May 10, 2026 03:00 PM (W8Wia)

81 mom is 98 next month. still a hoot.
i'll bring her a snowball saki jar {a tiny vase} filled with violets and lillies of the valley and she'll cry joy. it's what she wants.
hoppy mudders day, all y'all.

Posted by: cmeat at May 10, 2026 03:00 PM (R11M+)

82 One of the dreads for corpsman on aircraft carriers is having someone get sucked through an engine. The crew drop the engine and call the wing corpsman to gather what's left for the casket. Dental tools are recommended.

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at May 10, 2026 03:01 PM (SC8Ww)

83 I wonder how the trespasser got sucked into doing such a foolhardy stunt?

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 10, 2026 03:03 PM (utfVc)

84 There have to be easier and less dangerous ways to end yourself than walking into a a jet engine. Go to Canada and apply for MAID.

Posted by: Smell the Glove at May 10, 2026 03:03 PM (gu0hJ)

85 78 i'll take your word as i never had them.
every other one i've tried is too dense with smallish holes.
and i'm wrong, thomas' popped into my head but the good ones, in the 'fridge section are bay's. my bad. thomas' are only ok.

Posted by: cmeat at May 10, 2026 03:05 PM (R11M+)

86 how the trespasser got sucked into doing such a foolhardy stunt?
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 10, 2026 03:03 PM (utfVc)

I hope Madonna has a good alibi

Posted by: gKWVE at May 10, 2026 03:06 PM (W8Wia)

87 The problem on carriers is there isn't a lot of room., any distraction can be deadly.

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at May 10, 2026 03:07 PM (SC8Ww)

88 So it's a hooch thread?

Boobs, booze, boomsticks, and (on Sundays) books account for at good 50% of the content here. 90% if you include politicians in the boobs category.

Posted by: Oddbob at May 10, 2026 03:07 PM (vTZFs)

89 Gimme your bourbon

Posted by: vmom deport deport deport at May 10, 2026 03:08 PM (dE3DB)

90 83 I wonder how the trespasser got sucked into doing such a foolhardy stunt?
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 10, 2026 03:03 PM (utfVc)

Only 2 reasons you hop a fence to enter a runway - you are an idiot or you are a terrorist...have they actually conclusively figured out he was the 1st?

Posted by: Nova Local at May 10, 2026 03:08 PM (tOcjL)

91 83 I wonder how the trespasser got sucked into doing such a foolhardy stunt?
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 10, 2026 03:03 PM (utfVc)

I give equal odds for an idiot "influencer" desperate for content, or a third-worlder with shit for brains looking to steal tools or baggage or something.

Posted by: SciVo at May 10, 2026 03:09 PM (Sy6m/)

92 Guinness Draught? Step up your game to the best beer in the world. Guinness Foreign Extra Stout.

Posted by: JackWayne at May 10, 2026 03:09 PM (q+JTR)

93 Go to Canada and apply for MAID.

I have the unsettling suspicion that they try to convince non-citizens to get on the dole rather than on MAID.

Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at May 10, 2026 03:09 PM (EXyHK)

94 "they f*ck you up, your mom and dad
they may not mean to, but they do
they fillyou with the faults they had
and add some extra, just for you"

Posted by: cmeat at May 10, 2026 03:10 PM (R11M+)

95 That's nice. If there was any way to erase any and all traces of the female mammal that birthed me from myself I would do it in a heartbeat.
Posted by: Don't worry I have some word for Fathers Day too at May 10, 2026 02:45 PM (TbWk/)

I am sorry your mother wasn’t great. I hope there was another female who poured herself into you along the way. And if not, I am glad you took the difficult situation and made yourself something despite it.

Posted by: Piper at May 10, 2026 03:11 PM (hftzA)

96 Not much out on the expanse of taxy ways or runways. Its acres of open space

Posted by: Skip at May 10, 2026 03:12 PM (Ia/+0)

97 Was he getting into the Spirit of things?

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 10, 2026 02:38 PM (utfVc)

___________

No, it was the final Frontier.
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 10, 2026 02:39 PM (HdYcL)

He was just prepping for the transition to Spirit Halloween Airlines.

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at May 10, 2026 03:12 PM (qx7Zg)

98 Mid and higher grade sardines are getting hard to find in stores, at least in my area. The new food fad is the sardine fast and eating sardines in general. They are a superfood, rich in omega-3 and other nutrients and they are easy to store at home. YT has plenty of videos related to the little fishies.

When they are packed in EVOO and "wild-caught", they aren't a bad choice for the post-29 crowd.

The problem is finding the better brands in stores.

Posted by: mrp at May 10, 2026 03:13 PM (rj6Yv)

99 Denver's airport is massive. If the pink mister hopped a perimeter fence he'd have walked quite a distance to get on an active runway.

Conversely, there's likely security cameras "everywhere" so there'd be some idea how and where he got onto an active runway.

It's very weird....

Posted by: Martini Farmer at May 10, 2026 03:13 PM (jehhT)

100 Well, they need a more effective way of assuring the runway and airport in general is clear of unauthorized pedestrians.
Posted by: Anonymous Rogue in Kalifornistan (ARiK) at May 10, 2026 02:47 PM (QGaXH

Roof Koreans?

FWP

I went to Costco with my friend Friday and bought myself sushi - the big 30 piece one.

2 tiny packets of Wasabi paste. Very tiny. Seriously, This is Costco - Canada but still Costco. How much can wasabi paste cost? I did have some at home from Amazon. I bought it JUST for this emergency.

Posted by: Stateless - He ain't heavy, he's my dog at May 10, 2026 03:14 PM (Sco7b)

101 Naaah. Your perception of their drinking is skewed.

Posted by: Hokey Pokey at May 10, 2026 03:14 PM (FcFs+)

102 Well, time to get on with my day.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 10, 2026 03:14 PM (utfVc)

103 erase any and all traces of the female mammal that birthed me

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=J9u2ozWplAs

Posted by: Commissar of plenty and festive little hats at May 10, 2026 03:17 PM (Kt19C)

104 99 Denver's airport is massive. If the pink mister hopped a perimeter fence he'd have walked quite a distance to get on an active runway.

Conversely, there's likely security cameras "everywhere" so there'd be some idea how and where he got onto an active runway.

It's very weird....
Posted by: Martini Farmer at May 10, 2026 03:13 PM (jehhT)

Well, they said it was about two minutes from when he jumped the fence to when the airplane jumped him, so they must have tracked him back on video.

Posted by: SciVo at May 10, 2026 03:18 PM (Sy6m/)

105 I'm
too sexy for my SCHUURLP

Posted by: Guy on the runway at May 10, 2026 03:18 PM (vFG9F)

106 The problem is finding the better brands in stores.
Posted by: mrp at May 10, 2026 03:13 PM (rj6Yv)

Lol. Sorry. When I was taking care of my late Mother and supply lines were strained, I loaded up for zombie apocalypse.

I have about 600 cans of sardines and sardine fillets downstairs. They are REALLY expensive now. I picked most of the good, quality sardine tins up for $1.25 Can maximum and they're about $3 now.

If you have a Costco nearby, they have great sardines. One tin is two meals but they're great. I haven't checked price lately...because I'm set. Love sardines.

Posted by: Stateless - He ain't heavy, he's my dog at May 10, 2026 03:19 PM (Sco7b)

107 The anti FWP! I just heard the pool heater fire up. Yay!

Posted by: Piper at May 10, 2026 03:20 PM (hftzA)

108 I was drawn to the stupidity of the nutritional information. 1 can is 1.25 servings. Lawn...get off it

Posted by: connected and litigious at May 10, 2026 03:22 PM (cS1cw)

109 The anti FWP! I just heard the pool heater fire up. Yay!
Posted by: Piper

Out here the big yellow ball in the sky is our pool heater.

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at May 10, 2026 03:23 PM (SC8Ww)

110 ME's report will be interesting.

"Death a result of ingestion by gas turbine engine"

[must remember to ask Muldoon if there is an ICD code for that]

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 10, 2026 03:23 PM (XeU6L)

111
Anti-FWP 2. The Big Dummy swept this weekend with another Best of Breed win at today's Jesse James KC show in Lawrence.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 10, 2026 03:24 PM (HdYcL)

112 NY Post had a photo of the engine after it chewed him up and spit him out. Unpleasant to say the least.
Posted by: Tuna at May 10, 2026 02:36 PM (lJ0H4)

Was he getting into the Spirit of things?
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 10, 2026 02:38 PM (utfVc)

Death by lethal ingestion.

Posted by: RI Red at May 10, 2026 03:25 PM (Edxq2)

113 I know it's Mother's Day but all of this sardine talk makes me think of my dad. At our old house he and I used to sit on the low wall by our garage and eat sardines and crackers. He would give me sips from his Lone Star beer. I was 5 when we moved, so I was younger than that at the time.

It was all delicious. No sardines since then have tasted as good. Or Lone Stars.

Posted by: Art Rondelet of Malmsey at May 10, 2026 03:25 PM (FEVMW)

114 09 The anti FWP! I just heard the pool heater fire up. Yay!
Posted by: Piper

Out here the big yellow ball in the sky is our pool heater.
Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at May 10, 2026 03:23 PM (SC8Ww)

Oh it will be here, too, over the summer. Then there will be calls for the chiller by everyone but me. I like it as the world’s biggest bathtub. 🤣

Posted by: Piper at May 10, 2026 03:26 PM (hftzA)

115
"Death a result of ingestion by gas turbine engine"

__________

Avulsion

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 10, 2026 03:27 PM (HdYcL)

116 Drank Guinness and drove home? How many fought with the cops and had to be tased?

Posted by: Typical Irish at May 10, 2026 03:28 PM (oftw2)

117 Go Big Dummy!

Posted by: Piper at May 10, 2026 03:29 PM (pZEOD)

118 Heard It Through The Turbine

Posted by: Zombie Marvin Gaye at May 10, 2026 03:30 PM (ZnrCl)

119
We had a pool at our house in Ohio. It was a pain in many ways, but nice to use in the summer. And it was set out of sight of the road and far from the neighbors. So, ymmm, mmm.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 10, 2026 03:31 PM (HdYcL)

120 Avulsion
Posted by: Hadrian
----

[tips hat]

Thank you. A term I have never previously encountered.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 10, 2026 03:31 PM (XeU6L)

121 I have a first world problem. My husband was in an accident four months ago. The at-fault driver's insurance has not yet settled with us for anything close to the value of our totaled vehicle. In the meantime, our wrecked car is sitting in a towing yard racking up storage fees and we are renting a vehicle until we get our settlement and can buy a replacement. (The insurance company stopped paying storage charges after two months.)

Just how much in expenses can an insurance company cost us while they dither around? Or do they figure that we will accept their lowball settlement offer in order to wrap things up and get out from under storage and rental expenses?

Posted by: Emmie -- be strong and courageous! at May 10, 2026 03:32 PM (FMtrg)

122 It was all delicious. No sardines since then have tasted as good. Or Lone Stars.
Posted by: Art Rondelet of Malmsey at May 10, 2026 03:25 PM (FEVMW)

I'm happy you have thise memories.

Posted by: Stateless - He ain't heavy, he's my dog at May 10, 2026 03:35 PM (Sco7b)

123 Heading over to see my parents and my sister
Pop in later from there

Posted by: Skip at May 10, 2026 03:36 PM (Ia/+0)

124 We use a "solar blanket" on the pool to warm it up. Just put it on today. Water temp is currently 70F. Chilly...

Posted by: Martini Farmer at May 10, 2026 03:37 PM (jehhT)

125 Or do they figure that we will accept their lowball settlement offer in order to wrap things up and get out from under storage and rental expenses?

Posted by: Emmie -- be strong and courageous! at May 10, 2026 03:32 PM (FMtrg)

Yes, and I think sitting on money has become the standard for "insurance" for some time now. I have a simple recurring reimbursement claim and I routinely have to wait 120 days for it to come through. And they often make a "mistake" that requires an additional 30 day review. I'm sorry to hear of your trouble - you already know, do not take their first offer.

A lot of it is just playing the "game" with them because every day they hang on to money is another day of making money off it. I got 50% more back on a vehicle claim, just by rejecting their offer, then doing basic research, then providing it and insisting on even more than that.

Posted by: ... at May 10, 2026 03:37 PM (vE0+H)

126 If we had a tranny president would the Left insist it was in fact our First Female President? I wonder. I would almost vote for one just to watch the carnage.

Girl power!

Posted by: ... at May 10, 2026 03:40 PM (vE0+H)

127 Thanks, Ellipses. It's insane -- they were apparently fine with paying $70/day for storage fees for two months, but $5000 for our vehicle loss is too much in their view.

Posted by: Emmie -- be strong and courageous! at May 10, 2026 03:42 PM (FMtrg)

128 Or do they figure that we will accept their lowball settlement offer in order to wrap things up and get out from under storage and rental expenses?

Posted by: Emmie -- be strong and courageous! at May 10, 2026 03:32 PM (FMtrg)

Yes and they will keep it up as long as they think they can get away with it. Maybe find a lawyer who does first and second party insurance claims who can provide some guidance and maybe fire a shot or two across the bow.

Posted by: Insurance is asshoe at May 10, 2026 03:43 PM (TbWk/)

129 I love Guinness! Guinness for Health!

Your friends are "OK" CBD

Posted by: San Franpsycho at May 10, 2026 03:44 PM (RIvkX)

130 Just how much in expenses can an insurance company cost us while they dither around? Or do they figure that we will accept their lowball settlement offer in order to wrap things up and get out from under storage and rental expenses?
Posted by: Emmie
------

~~I was rear-ende...~~

Heh...decided to re-phrase, knowing the Horde.

My car was struck in the rear by a fellow with Progressive. They refused to settle. My only recourse was to sue the guy that ran into me. Not happening. We tend to forget that insurnace companies are in business to profit, not to look after their policy holders.

After hurricane Helene passed through, my home-owners company (Liberty Mutual) cancelled my policy.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 10, 2026 03:45 PM (XeU6L)

131 I wonder if the runway guy tried to duck under the wing, but the engine at full thrust sucked him up anyway.

and from my sixth grade mind ... "I bet he doesn't have the guts to do that again".

Posted by: illiniwek at May 10, 2026 03:46 PM (vbXSk)

132 Mike Hammer, I think the whole purpose of insurance is so these situations can be handled without suing. But this insurance company is practically begging us to sue their client.

Posted by: Emmie -- be strong and courageous! at May 10, 2026 03:47 PM (FMtrg)

133 Now I have an urge for a Guinness. They go with steak, corn-on-the-cob, and NY strip rare?

Posted by: Eromero at May 10, 2026 03:51 PM (LHPAg)

134 This is the first time we've had to deal with an auto accident without our own insurance company being involved. Our insurance company informed us that our coverage doesn't include delivery driving. That requires the purchase of a special rider, and our company doesn't offer that particular rider. We had to switch companies.

So we are at the mercy of the at-fault driver's insurance. They were telling us that they didn't have the resources to cover all the damages to the four vehicles in the accident.

Posted by: Emmie -- be strong and courageous! at May 10, 2026 03:52 PM (FMtrg)

135 Happy Mother's Day Mom! This year it will be ten years you and Dad have been gone. Miss you both very much!

Posted by: Anonymous Rogue in Kalifornistan (ARiK's Phone) at May 10, 2026 03:52 PM (QGaXH)

136 84 There have to be easier and less dangerous ways to end yourself than walking into a a jet engine. Go to Canada and apply for MAID.

Posted by: Smell the Glove at May 10, 2026 03:03 PM (gu0hJ)

Some swabbie was ingested into the engine of a A-6, I believe it was. He walked away.

Posted by: Easy the Elder at May 10, 2026 03:52 PM (awQYY)

137 134 This is the first time we've had to deal with an auto accident without our own insurance company being involved. Our insurance company informed us that our coverage doesn't include delivery driving. That requires the purchase of a special rider, and our company doesn't offer that particular rider. We had to switch companies.

So we are at the mercy of the at-fault driver's insurance. They were telling us that they didn't have the resources to cover all the damages to the four vehicles in the accident.
Posted by: Emmie -- be strong and courageous! at May 10, 2026 03:52 PM (FMtrg)

I would involve your insurance company. It will solve your issue (and will be way cheaper than legal counsel if the driver is a deadbeat). If effectively this is like an "uninsured driver" b/c the driver had so little insurance for property damage in an accident, you may have to recover from your own insurance, anyway.

Posted by: Nova Local at May 10, 2026 03:55 PM (tOcjL)

138 Mike Hammer, I think the whole purpose of insurance is so these situations can be handled without suing. But this insurance company is practically begging us to sue their client.
Posted by: Emmie
-------

Mine was pretty amazing. Police report had the the guy clearly at fault. Included an eye witness. Three indepedent repair shops had provided repair estimates and photos.

Progressive:"Nope"

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 10, 2026 03:55 PM (XeU6L)

139 [willowed]:

Irradiation works to preserve foods, too.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 10, 2026 01:50 PM (utfVc)

Always amusing how the "BELIEVE SCIENCE" crowd vociferously opposes irradiating food because it'll turn your blueberries into U-235 and make you grow an extra head.
Posted by: Lots of really stoooopid people running around loose at May 10, 2026 01:54 PM (TbWk/)

There's no upside in having an extra head.

Posted by: Rosey Grier at May 10, 2026 03:57 PM (wVcYX)

140 Yep, an A-6.

https://youtu.be/AF55oyAJDBk

Posted by: Easy the Elder at May 10, 2026 03:58 PM (awQYY)

141 92 Guinness Draught? Step up your game to the best beer in the world. Guinness Foreign Extra Stout.

exactly.

Posted by: ibid at May 10, 2026 03:58 PM (BiQ2s)

142 Hadrian: I feel your pain, I'm in Harris County.

Posted by: Thing From Snowy Mountain at May 10, 2026 03:58 PM (gHSfI)

143 >>>>So we are at the mercy of the at-fault driver's insurance. They were telling us that they didn't have the resources to cover all the damages to the four vehicles in the accident.
Posted by: Emmie -- be strong and courageous! at May 10, 2026 03:52 PM (FMtrg)
*****
Have you tried contacting your State’s Insurance Commissioner? Maybe file a complaint with them? I wish you luck in resolving. I know it would stress me out.

Posted by: Rufus T. Firefly at May 10, 2026 04:01 PM (EFz10)

144 Food thread is up!

Posted by: SciVo at May 10, 2026 04:03 PM (Sy6m/)

145 So we are at the mercy of the at-fault driver's insurance. They were telling us that they didn't have the resources to cover all the damages to the four vehicles in the accident.
Posted by: Emmie -- be strong and courageous! at May 10, 2026 03:52 PM (FMtrg)

That sounds like bullshit. They're required by state law to have minimum cash reserves sufficient to cover claims and maintain liquidity as a condition of operating as an insurance company in whatever state you're in. Either they're some fly-by-night outfit or they're lying to you.

Posted by: Again, insurance is asshoe at May 10, 2026 04:04 PM (TbWk/)

146 Heard It Through The Turbine
Posted by: Zombie Marvin Gaye at May 10, 2026 03:30 PM (ZnrCl)

He's now SLIME IN THE TURBINE MACHINE!!!

Posted by: Zombie Marvin Zindler at May 10, 2026 04:04 PM (wVcYX)

147 Is Progressive offering Kelly Blue Book value only?

Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at May 10, 2026 04:10 PM (ZVgZ4)

148 They're required by state law to have minimum cash reserves sufficient to cover claims and maintain liquidity as a condition of operating as an insurance company in whatever state you're in. Either they're some fly-by-night outfit or they're lying to you.
Posted by: Again, insurance is asshoe at May 10, 2026 04:04 PM (TbWk/)

That's good to know. You know how you choose coverage limits when you buy insurance and there's a legally-required minimum. I was thinking the at-fault policy was minimum coverage and turned out to be not enough for four cars.

Posted by: Emmie -- be strong and courageous! at May 10, 2026 04:20 PM (FMtrg)

149 68 So they are having a hard time identifying the person involved in the engine incident???
Posted by: lin-duh in Texas at May 10, 2026 02:52 PM (DNyHT)
And their motive.

Posted by: Eromero at May 10, 2026 04:31 PM (LHPAg)

150 16
FWP: I'm stuck at my MiL's for a few more hours.

____________

May as well burn it all down. "Your daughter is just like you."
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 10, 2026 02:13 PM (HdYcL)

“I’ll need a colon cleanse after this meal.”

“Trump was elected to eliminate people like you.”

“Are you proud of all the abortions you’ve had?”

(Light a cigarette)

Posted by: Kathysaysso at May 10, 2026 04:57 PM (7OVtU)

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