Saturday Night Club ONT - May 9, 2026 [D & D]

Welcome to Club ONT - a collaboration of The Disco and The Dino. Come in in, grab a drink or 3.

Did you remember a gift for Mom? Does the top photo give you some inspiration?

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Saturday Night Jokes and Other Funnies

A man in a bar starts talking to a prostitute. He says, "How much for a hand job?" She says it's $250. He says, "$250 for a lousy hand job? That’s crazy!" She says, "Honey, follow me," and takes him outside.

"See that Ferrari? I bought that Ferrari just with money from hand jobs. I give the best in the world." So he tries it, and it's great. A week later he's horny again. He goes back to the bar and asks her about a BJ.

She says it's $500. He thinks that's too much. She says, "Honey, come out back. See that mansion up on the hill? I bought that mansion with money from BJs. I do it the best." So he takes her up on it, and it's amazing. He's drained for a month.

Now obsessed, he goes back. Desperately he says, "I gotta know, how much for the coochie?" "Oh honey," she says, "If I had one of those, I'd own this town."

---------

Elderly couple in church.

Wife turns to Husband suddenly during the service, leans close to his ear and says "I've just done a silent fart. What should I do?"

Husband says "Put new batteries in your hearing aid!"

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Drink of the Night

Tonight we drew the 6 of spades from our deck of playing card cocktails.

Beware of brain freeze!

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Club ONT Department of Stopping to Smell the Flowers

Photo credit: Dick van Duijn

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Club ONT Department of Music History

Philips and Sony collaborated on the size of the compact disc in the late 1970s to create a single standard and avoid a format war (like VHS v. Betamax). Philips made an early prototype in 1979 which was an 11.5 cm disc that held about 60 minutes of audio. Sony initially favored a smaller 10 cm disc but Sony president Norio Ohga pushed for more capacity. Specifically, the goal was a disc that could fit Beethoven's Symphony No. 9.

They settled on a 12 cm diameter disc which was precisely enough to fit the longest known recording at the time (a 1951 version at about 74 minutes).

The size of the hole in a compact disc was determined when Joop Sinjou, the head of Philops audio products development in the Netherlands, put a Dutch 10 cent coin (known as a dubbeltje) on the table during a standardization meeting. The coin created a hole of exactly 15 mm.

Now you know...

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Club ONT Endorsed 80s Re-boot

We absolutely would watch this! pic.twitter.com/oj64grsH86
— Hollywood Horror Museum (@horrormuseum) May 8, 2026

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Club ONT Department of Hallucinations

This video simulates what it looks like when you are on acid. Stare at the numbers in the middle of the screen and then look around - whoa. 😵‍💫 pic.twitter.com/h1rtn9O18T
— AlphaFox (@alphafox) May 8, 2026

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Club ONT Crime Blotter

Boston bakery pleads for return of giant ice cream cone mascot

The co-owner of a Boston bakery is offering baked goods as a reward for the safe return of the eatery's "mascot," a large plastic ice cream cone named Swirly.
Swirly, a fixture outside of Flour Bakery on the Boston Common, was initially feared to have blown away during the winter, but co-owner Joanne Chang said she now has good reason to believe the mascot is still nearby.
"He was possibly spotted in a nearby dorm window looking down longingly at home and we have reason to believe he may be confused about where he is," Chang wrote on social media.
She said all the bakery wants is Swirly's safe return.
"To anyone who is temporarily sheltering him: thank you for protecting him this winter, please return him safely, no questions asked, in exchange for baked goods and our eternal gratitude," Chang wrote.

O Swirly, Swirly where art thou? Deny thy temporary dormitory dwelling and return home. Break free from the shackles of communal living. If for nothing else, think of the sprinkles that you once called compatriots.

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The Club ONT Magical Jukebox

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Top 10ish Comments of the Week

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Club ONT is brought to you tonight by the hot v crazy matrix:

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The Club ONT lost and found still has several frilly hats left behind from Derby day last week. And lots of other stuff. Some unidentifiable. Some unmentionable. Please stop by and grab what's yours (or pick up a nice gift for Mom)!

Posted by: Open Blogger at 10:00 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 A couple of those Frozen Lemonades would hit the spot!

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at May 09, 2026 10:02 PM (/lPRQ)

2 the ONT time to go

and I had to register --- again

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at May 09, 2026 10:03 PM (3UR/I)

3 That ain’t beer!

Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at May 09, 2026 10:04 PM (ZVgZ4)

4 Sorry I'm late, I mistakenly said "See ya later," to a crocodile, and now I can never show my face in that swamp ever again.

Posted by: tankdemon at May 09, 2026 10:05 PM (lbImv)

5 I watched half of the LSD video. Nada. Maybe I didn't look at it long enough.

Evening, all!

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at May 09, 2026 10:05 PM (wzUl9)

6
Best of Breed for The Big Dummy at today's Jesse James KC show in Lawrence. Nothing in the Hound Group, though. We'll take them where they come from.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 09, 2026 10:05 PM (HdYcL)

7 Santana, proof that bs can rise to the top.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at May 09, 2026 10:05 PM (3UR/I)

8 My first summer in Denver, I went to see the Steve Miller Band live at Red Rocks, the park just outside of town. An oudoor concert in August? I would *NEVER* have considered such a thing here in Da Swamp. But while it was warm, it was dry and actually kind of invigorating.

Oh, the band was great too.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at May 09, 2026 10:07 PM (wzUl9)

9 Dino, sorry I couldn't make it to Wednesday's ONT this week. I felt especially bad when I found out that VP Vance wanted to hear my excuse. I guess I won't be getting an invitstuon to the Naval Observatory any time soon.

Posted by: tankdemon at May 09, 2026 10:07 PM (lbImv)

10 Anyone guess the music theme?

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at May 09, 2026 10:07 PM (/lPRQ)

11
*kicks rock*

My Flyers got swept tonight, losing 3-2 in OT. While I now want to see Buffalo be the Eastern Conference champs, Carolina is scary good.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 09, 2026 10:07 PM (HdYcL)

12 Santana didn't sound like *anybody* else in Top 40 when he first arrived with "Black Magic Woman."

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at May 09, 2026 10:08 PM (wzUl9)

13 5 shots of vodka? In a 12 Oz glass? Fuck.

Thanks for the ONT.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at May 09, 2026 10:09 PM (zZu0s)

14 9 Dino, sorry I couldn't make it to Wednesday's ONT this week. I felt especially bad when I found out that VP Vance wanted to hear my excuse. I guess I won't be getting an invitstuon to the Naval Observatory any time soon.

Posted by: tankdemon at May 09, 2026 10:07 PM
***
Could be a mark on your permanent record!

Posted by: TRex - VP adjacent dino at May 09, 2026 10:10 PM (IQ6Gq)

15 Congrats to you and HM, Hadrian.

I hope her road trip continues to be successful!

Posted by: nurse ratched at May 09, 2026 10:10 PM (A5RD0)

16 I loved some of the X comments on the acid video - “I just did acid yesterday, it’s nothing like this!”

Posted by: Tom Servo at May 09, 2026 10:11 PM (25Mwa)

17 5 shots of vodka? In a 12 Oz glass? Fuck.

Thanks for the ONT.
Posted by: Aetius451AD
++++++++

The two dashes of Sprite give it a kick.

Carbonation makes alcohol absorb faster.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at May 09, 2026 10:11 PM (/lPRQ)

18 The LSD video is what it looks like after the eyeball doctor injects your eye with macular degeneration meds.

Posted by: huerfano at May 09, 2026 10:11 PM (VJX5o)

19 How a r e you supposed to get a whole lemon in there?

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at May 09, 2026 10:11 PM (zZu0s)

20 6 Best of Breed for The Big Dummy at today's Jesse James KC show in Lawrence.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 09, 2026 10:05 PM
***
Hooray! Congrats!

Posted by: TRex - east german judge dino at May 09, 2026 10:11 PM (IQ6Gq)

21 Evenin'

Posted by: Puddleglum at work at May 09, 2026 10:11 PM (NkASH)

22 Good evening morons and Слава Двоим!

Posted by: San Franpsycho at May 09, 2026 10:12 PM (RIvkX)

23 Specifically, the goal was a disc that could fit Beethoven's Symphony No. 9.

You know, this past Thursday was the 202nd anniversary of the first public performance of Beethoven's Ninth.

Posted by: tankdemon at May 09, 2026 10:12 PM (lbImv)

24 I never was really clear if that song was about a woman who did black magic, or a magic woman who was black.

Posted by: Tom Servo at May 09, 2026 10:12 PM (25Mwa)

25 Tonight’s busts, Hades, Washington and Oscar Wilde.

Tonight’s drink, Rob Roy.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at May 09, 2026 10:12 PM (XV/Pl)

26 This will be my first Mom's Day after my Mom passed last fall. But I'm gonna spoil the hell out of the mother of my sons tomorrow.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, he said, snootily at May 09, 2026 10:13 PM (0aYVJ)

27 Hadrian, I meant to comment this morning. I love a good spreadsheet.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at May 09, 2026 10:13 PM (RIvkX)

28 Thanks for the swell Saturday Night Club ONT, D & D!

Great jokes tonight.

I'm having trouble visualizing the T Rex handcuffed to a dandelion...

Posted by: Legally Sufficient at May 09, 2026 10:13 PM (vrNzf)

29 The coin created a hole of exactly 15 mm.

Just how heavy and/or hot was that coin?

Posted by: GWB at May 09, 2026 10:13 PM (zMT95)

30 That sit-com parody is darker than you think. Look at :45. Where's the baby?

Posted by: nerdygirl at May 09, 2026 10:13 PM (0Htd1)

31 I never was really clear if that song was about a woman who did black magic, or a magic woman who was black.
Posted by: Tom Servo at May 09, 2026 10:12 PM (25Mwa)

Woman who did black magic, final answer. She may 'allso' have been black.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at May 09, 2026 10:14 PM (zZu0s)

32 I watched half of the LSD video. Nada. Maybe I didn't look at it long enough.

Nothing for me either. I guess the alternating light/dark pattern is supposed to cause some kind of residual retinal effect. Or maybe the joke is that my life is already like being on acid.

Posted by: Oddbob at May 09, 2026 10:14 PM (vTZFs)

33 Santana!
Nice!!!

Posted by: Diogenes at May 09, 2026 10:15 PM (2WIwB)

34 Best of Breed for The Big Dummy at today's Jesse James KC show in Lawrence. Nothing in the Hound Group, though. We'll take them where they come from.
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 09, 2026 10:05 PM (HdYcL)

So the Big Dummy isn't a Hound Dog?

https://youtu.be/aNYWl13IWhY

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at May 09, 2026 10:16 PM (qx7Zg)

35 5 shots of vodka? In a 12 Oz glass? Fuck.

Thanks for the ONT.
Posted by: Aetius451AD
++++++++

Not seeing a down side.

Posted by: Diogenes at May 09, 2026 10:16 PM (2WIwB)

36 I am not ordinarily a Santana fan, but DAMN! that guy could lay down some licks! Outstanding music choice. Thanks.

Posted by: LRob in OK at May 09, 2026 10:17 PM (Jr+re)

37 Some of yall are weird...

SOME? You take that back, right now1

Posted by: GWB at May 09, 2026 10:17 PM (zMT95)

38 Congratulations to Her Majesty and The Big Dummy!

Keep up the good work!

Posted by: Legally Sufficient at May 09, 2026 10:17 PM (vrNzf)

39 Could be a mark on your permanent record!
Posted by: TRex - VP adjacent dino at May 09, 2026 10:10 PM (IQ6Gq)

I've got a really good eraser.

Posted by: tankdemon at May 09, 2026 10:18 PM (lbImv)

40 The hallucination video is cool. Sometimes the words and letters in my prayerbook move around, especially Psalms.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at May 09, 2026 10:18 PM (RIvkX)

41 I loved some of the X comments on the acid video - “I just did acid yesterday, it’s nothing like this!”

Posted by: Tom Servo at May 09, 2026 10:11 PM (25Mwa)

They would be right.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 09, 2026 10:18 PM (snZF9)

42 A mini tragedy happened today, went to The Rockaway Mall and discovered Books A Million has closed.

If the Tea Lady goes tits up the their will be no reason to go their any longer.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at May 09, 2026 10:18 PM (XV/Pl)

43 After watching the LSD video, then looking at a blank section of computer screen... yeah, the shifting geometric pattern is *similar* to what I remember of a (long ago!) trip.

But there's just something missing:

A lightbulb dangling at the end of a cord from the ceiling fixture, and the notion that the bulb and pattern are totally freaking HILARIOUS

Posted by: JQ at May 09, 2026 10:18 PM (rdVOm)

44 Not seeing a down side.
Posted by: Diogenes at May 09, 2026 10:16 PM (2WIwB)

Its vodka. Vodka mixes well, but on its own, there is not much difference between McCormicks and top shelf stuff.

Rum on the other hand, there are entire galaxies between.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at May 09, 2026 10:19 PM (zZu0s)

45 I watched half of the LSD video. Nada. Maybe I didn't look at it long enough.
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at May 09, 2026 10:05 PM (wzUl9)

Or, you're already tripping.

Posted by: GWB at May 09, 2026 10:19 PM (zMT95)

46 Ok. Not bad. Semi old fashioned with Buffalo Trace, Grand Gala, orange bitters & simple syrup.

Need to look up the actual recipe.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 09, 2026 10:19 PM (S838b)

47 I'd thought I'd treat myself for a month or so and I bought a box of ten Hostess Cup cakes. That was a mistake. Lasted for four days.

Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at May 09, 2026 10:19 PM (52qkP)

48 Evenin’, All.

Posted by: Bulg at May 09, 2026 10:19 PM (77rzZ)

49 Congrats to the Big Dummy

Posted by: San Franpsycho at May 09, 2026 10:20 PM (RIvkX)

50 Yay, ONT!

Posted by: Blanco Basura - Z28.310 at May 09, 2026 10:20 PM (+9wcF)

51 Shot glass sizes vary, but the typical one is 1.5 ounces. So the drink up top has a little over 3 shots of vodka. Still, more than enough to constitute a therapeutic dose.

Posted by: PabloD at May 09, 2026 10:20 PM (C30Iv)

52 Amazing the difference between liquor stores.
One had no Buffalo Trace and another had dozens of bottles.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 09, 2026 10:20 PM (S838b)

53 I'd thought I'd treat myself for a month or so and I bought a box of ten Hostess Cup cakes. That was a mistake. Lasted for four days.
Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at May 09, 2026 10:19 PM (52qkP)

The mini fried apple pies are worse.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at May 09, 2026 10:20 PM (zZu0s)

54 As a shitty guitar player, I've always said if I could play like anyone, it would be Carlos Santana. His tone is amazing. Second would be Joe Bonamassa in today's era.

Posted by: Ex Rex Reeder at May 09, 2026 10:21 PM (QaH55)

55 Rum on the other hand

Try some Diplomatico from Venezuela (get over it). Both the light and dark versions are outstanding!

Posted by: LRob in OK at May 09, 2026 10:21 PM (Jr+re)

56 13 5 shots of vodka? In a 12 Oz glass? Fuck.

Thanks for the ONT.
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone

Sorry. Should be 6?

Posted by: nurse ratched at May 09, 2026 10:21 PM (A5RD0)

57 Amazing the difference between liquor stores.
One had no Buffalo Trace and another had dozens of bottles.
Posted by: rickb223 at May 09, 2026 10:20 PM (S838b)

Kentucky is good for one thing: the liquor stores never run out of bourbon.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at May 09, 2026 10:22 PM (zZu0s)

58 Coincidence...I'm having one of those lemonades right now!
Hi you Ds!
Can we expect many more hijinks?

Posted by: COMountainMarie at May 09, 2026 10:22 PM (uTEOj)

59 5 shots of vodka? In a 12 Oz glass? Fuck.

Thanks for the ONT.
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone

Sorry. Should be 6?
Posted by: nurse ratched

Always go even numbers. 6, 8, 10, etc.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 09, 2026 10:23 PM (S838b)

60 51 Shot glass sizes vary, but the typical one is 1.5 ounces. So the drink up top has a little over 3 shots of vodka. Still, more than enough to constitute a therapeutic dose.
Posted by: PabloD
---

Nurse!

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at May 09, 2026 10:23 PM (3UR/I)

61 Congratulations to Her Majesty and The Big Dummy!!!

Well done!

Posted by: Diogenes at May 09, 2026 10:23 PM (2WIwB)

62 "Sometimes the words and letters in my prayer book move around...."

Yeah, if that happened I'd assume I was having an eye problem. If it wasn't something like that, I might burn the book. Does it spell out anything like a Ouija Board?

Posted by: PabloD at May 09, 2026 10:23 PM (C30Iv)

63 A good vodka really is different. Blue Ice is a potato vodka, made in Idaho (natch). Keep it in the freezer. Smooth as silk.
And not hella expensive. Recommend.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, he said, snootily at May 09, 2026 10:23 PM (0aYVJ)

64 The hallucination video is cool. Sometimes the words and letters in my prayerbook move around, especially Psalms.
Posted by: San Franpsycho

You need to see an opthamologist or maybe an exorcist.

Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at May 09, 2026 10:23 PM (ZVgZ4)

65 Try some Diplomatico from Venezuela (get over it). Both the light and dark versions are outstanding!
Posted by: LRob in OK at May 09, 2026 10:21 PM (Jr+re)

Ill try that. I first got hooked with El Dorado 15. Ray Zacappa was ok, but not great. Kraken was disgusting. Bumbu- I'll just eat a candy bar. Plantation was meh.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at May 09, 2026 10:23 PM (zZu0s)

66 53 I'd thought I'd treat myself for a month or so and I bought a box of ten Hostess Cup cakes. That was a mistake. Lasted for four days.
Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at May 09, 2026 10:19 PM (52qkP)erase.

I thought the box was the recommended serving size. I must commend you forbshowing such restraint.

Posted by: tankdemon at May 09, 2026 10:24 PM (lbImv)

67 Abracadabra

Literally one of the worst songs ever recorded.

"I want to reach out and GRAB YA!"

Posted by: San Franpsycho at May 09, 2026 10:24 PM (RIvkX)

68 If the Tea Lady goes tits up the their will be no reason to go their any longer.
Posted by: Thomas Bender at May 09, 2026 10:18 PM (XV/Pl)

Well, that depends. Is she nice looking? Could mean more business for her....

Posted by: GWB at May 09, 2026 10:24 PM (zMT95)

69 Black Magic Woman Smackdown

Larissa Liveir
Epiphone Les Paul
https://youtu.be/4FOj7DbJ66g

Ayla Tesler-Mabe
Gibson ES-390
https://youtu.be/6yJNijVVgYA

Like Democrat: vote early and often! May the better~~cleavage~~ guitar skills win!

Posted by: Alteria Pilgram - My President has convictions at May 09, 2026 10:24 PM (glnUu)

70 Ron Zacappa?

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at May 09, 2026 10:24 PM (zZu0s)

71
The captive mascot, Swirly, is being tortured via a steady spate of swirlies. What goes around comes around, as it were.

Posted by: Krebs 'v' Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) Imprison! Imprison! Imprison! at May 09, 2026 10:25 PM (xG4kz)

72 Rum on the other hand

Try some Diplomatico from Venezuela (get over it). Both the light and dark versions are outstanding!
Posted by: LRob in OK

Have a bottle of Brugal 1888 & Ron Zapata.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 09, 2026 10:25 PM (S838b)

73 Don, I'll take 7.5 for $500.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at May 09, 2026 10:25 PM (3UR/I)

74 26 This will be my first Mom's Day after my Mom passed last fall. But I'm gonna spoil the hell out of the mother of my sons tomorrow.
Posted by: Pug Mahon

You’re a good one, pug.

My ex never acknowledged my bearing and raising our boys. I asked him one year and he said “you’re not my mother.”

Posted by: nurse ratched at May 09, 2026 10:25 PM (A5RD0)

75 Shot glass sizes vary, but the typical one is 1.5 ounces. So the drink up top has a little over 3 shots of vodka. Still, more than enough to constitute a therapeutic dose.
Posted by: PabloD

Is counting "glugs" the same?

Posted by: Diogenes at May 09, 2026 10:25 PM (2WIwB)

76 Abracadabra

Literally one of the worst songs ever recorded.

"I want to reach out and GRAB YA!"

And yet still better than "Hey There Delilah" by the Plain White T's.

Posted by: Blanco Basura - Z28.310 at May 09, 2026 10:25 PM (+9wcF)

77 I'm trying to understand this evening's music theme. Is this right?

https://youtu.be/2jKgQfohoG8

Posted by: tankdemon at May 09, 2026 10:26 PM (lbImv)

78 Have a bottle of Brugal 1888 & Ron Zapata.
Posted by: rickb223 at May 09, 2026 10:25 PM (S838b)

Try El Dorado 15. The bottles can vary a bit, but it is still delicious.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at May 09, 2026 10:26 PM (zZu0s)

79 You need to see an opthamologist or maybe an exorcist.
Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at May 09, 2026 10:23 PM (ZVgZ4)
====

There's a fortune teller around the corner...

Posted by: San Franpsycho at May 09, 2026 10:26 PM (RIvkX)

80
I was going to say the Avs have been scary good too, but Minnesota is kicking their asses right now.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 09, 2026 10:26 PM (HdYcL)

81 he said “you’re not my mother

nurse, is an ass-kickin in order here? Can be arranged.

Posted by: LRob in OK at May 09, 2026 10:27 PM (Jr+re)

82 Try El Dorado 15. The bottles can vary a bit, but it is still delicious.
Posted by: Aetius451AD

I will look for it.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 09, 2026 10:27 PM (S838b)

83 Avs are down 3-0 in the 2nd

Posted by: Don Black at May 09, 2026 10:28 PM (ZxPkt)

84 Hiya, Nurse!

Posted by: PabloD at May 09, 2026 10:28 PM (C30Iv)

85 Shot glass sizes vary, but the typical one is 1.5 ounces. So the drink up top has a little over 3 shots of vodka. Still, more than enough to constitute a therapeutic dose.
Posted by: PabloD

Is counting "glugs" the same?
Posted by: Diogenes

Except at my Elk's Lodge. They pour shots out of dry sponge.

Posted by: Alteria Pilgram - My President has convictions at May 09, 2026 10:28 PM (glnUu)

86 I talk like I am a rum doctor, but tonight it was a Pinot Grigio for entertainment.

Posted by: LRob in OK at May 09, 2026 10:28 PM (Jr+re)

87 My ex never acknowledged my bearing and raising our boys. I asked him one year and he said “you’re not my mother.”
Posted by: nurse ratched

Wow. Regular *prince charming* he was...
/

Posted by: JQ at May 09, 2026 10:28 PM (rdVOm)

88 @68

>> Well, that depends. Is she nice looking? Could mean more business for her....

She’s a nice proper young lady.

I could spend a couple of hours in there wafting tea from the tins.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at May 09, 2026 10:29 PM (XV/Pl)

89 The jokes were great. Thanks for the ONT.

Nothing for me for acid video either. I'm near-sighted in one eye and far-sighted in the other so stuff like that doesn't usually work.

I just watched '3 from Hell'. That and "The Devil's Rejects" were great movies. Bloody and violent but not that scary. But great.
I've been enjoying 'Hellraiser' movies too. Fantastic effects, not really scary bit still very enjoyable.

Congratulations Hadrian!

One more movie tonight. Good night all.

Posted by: Stateless - He ain't heavy, he's my dog at May 09, 2026 10:29 PM (Sco7b)

90 Hello friends!

Posted by: Piper at May 09, 2026 10:29 PM (Dd38x)

91 I ran across the oddest story on twitter.

Nick Fuentes, yes that guy, is claiming Dan Blitzerian had planned to assassinate Ben Shapiro.

Now Blitzerian is crazy and Fuentes is a lying grifter.

So true or fale?

Posted by: 18-1 at May 09, 2026 10:30 PM (sKqQm)

92 Ya know, let me tell you about acid trips from my youth.
That simply simple thing up top....
Like a virgin...can't possibly compare🥸!

Posted by: COMountainMarie at May 09, 2026 10:30 PM (uTEOj)

93 I didn't see any numbers.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 09, 2026 10:30 PM (Cqx++)

94 My ex never acknowledged my bearing and raising our boys. I asked him one year and he said “you’re not my mother.”

You're not my mother, either. But based on that story alone if I had your address I'd at least send you a card. (Please note, that is not a request.) It's one fricken' day to acknowledge the importance of the women in your life for their amazing capacity to carry, deliver, and nurture a live human being. To refuse to do so for the mother of your children is just being a shit person.

Posted by: Blanco Basura - Z28.310 at May 09, 2026 10:30 PM (+9wcF)

95 I watched a few seconds of the psychedelic video and started to feel nauseated

I got enough problems already

Posted by: Don Black at May 09, 2026 10:31 PM (ZxPkt)

96 That guy that jumped the fence in Denver at the airport and was sucked into the engine of the plane?

The plane almost mist him.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 09, 2026 10:31 PM (S838b)

97 Posted by: LRob in OK

You’re a gem, thank you for the offer.
I didn’t really appreciate the effort, sacrifice, happiness and GIFT of motherhood until I was a mom. By then, my mom had been dead for several years. I never got to intentionally thank her.

Call your moms. Tell her thank you.

Posted by: nurse ratched at May 09, 2026 10:33 PM (A5RD0)

98 That guy that jumped the fence in Denver at the airport and was sucked into the engine of the plane?

The plane almost mist him.
Posted by: rickb223

Instant comment winner of the week.

Posted by: Alteria Pilgram - My President has convictions at May 09, 2026 10:33 PM (glnUu)

99 Abracadabra

Literally one of the worst songs ever recorded.

"I want to reach out and GRAB YA!"
***

Imagine has entered the chat.

Posted by: Diogenes at May 09, 2026 10:33 PM (2WIwB)

100 69 Black Magic Woman Smackdown

Larissa Liveir
Epiphone Les Paul
https://youtu.be/4FOj7DbJ66g

Ayla Tesler-Mabe
Gibson ES-390
https://youtu.be/6yJNijVVgYA
...
Posted by: Alteria Pilgram -
---

Larissa Liveir, much better sound and style.
Vibrato should be used sparingly if at all.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at May 09, 2026 10:33 PM (3UR/I)

101 Bit into a piece of banana nut bread earlier this evening and cracked a crown. Since when are there fucking nuts in bananas.

Posted by: Easy the Elder at May 09, 2026 10:33 PM (Edy1T)

102
My ex never acknowledged my bearing and raising our boys. I asked him one year and he said “you’re not my mother.”
Posted by: nurse ratched

I would view that as being an ungracious indictment of him, and her, as his raiser.

Posted by: Krebs 'v' Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) Imprison! Imprison! Imprison! at May 09, 2026 10:34 PM (xG4kz)

103 Missing my Mom right now. But she's with Dad now, and my sister.

I wanna go to Heaven, just not right now.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Rock 'n' Roll Martian at May 09, 2026 10:34 PM (0aYVJ)

104
HM is out of town so I did Mother's Day last Sunday. She took the box of See's chocolates I gave along with her.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at May 09, 2026 10:35 PM (HdYcL)

105 Bit into a piece of banana nut bread earlier this evening and cracked a crown. Since when are there fucking nuts in bananas.
Posted by: Easy the Elder

Ouch, sympathies, but, it's kinda in the recipes. Just sue your relatives. I'm sure it'll be ok.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at May 09, 2026 10:35 PM (diia5)

106 Call your moms. Tell her thank you.
Posted by: nurse ratched at May 09, 2026 10:33 PM (A5RD0)

This is great advice!
I lost my mom when I was a teen.
Still miss her.

Posted by: Diogenes at May 09, 2026 10:35 PM (2WIwB)

107 103 Missing my Mom right now. But she's with Dad now, and my sister.

I wanna go to Heaven, just not right now.
Posted by: Pug Mahon, Rock 'n' Roll Martian at

I miss my mom, too. *big virtual hugs*

Posted by: Piper at May 09, 2026 10:35 PM (Dd38x)

108 @101

>> Since when are there fucking nuts in bananas.

You never hear, I cracked my crown eating carrot cake, is all I’m saying.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at May 09, 2026 10:36 PM (XV/Pl)

109 Dino, sorry I couldn't make it to Wednesday's ONT this week. I felt especially bad when I found out that VP Vance wanted to hear my excuse. I guess I won't be getting an invitstuon to the Naval Observatory any time soon.
Posted by: tankdemon at May 09, 2026 10:07 PM
***
Could be a mark on your permanent record!
Posted by: TRex - VP adjacent dino at May 09, 2026 10:10 PM (IQ6Gq)
*********
Would that be the AOSHQ permanent record, or THE record at NSA?

Posted by: The Grateful at May 09, 2026 10:36 PM (IQ6Gq)

110 Did acid about 300 times. I'm totally normal except for sometimes I seen Punkin' Heads comin' at me.

Posted by: Joshua Light Show Fillmore East at May 09, 2026 10:36 PM (oftw2)

111 Hiya Pablo!

Blanco, you have always been a special person to me here. Thank you. And peace be with you.

Posted by: nurse ratched at May 09, 2026 10:36 PM (A5RD0)

112 lderly couple in church.

Wife turns to Husband suddenly during the service, leans close to his ear and says "I've just done a silent fart. What should I do?"

Husband says "Put new batteries in your hearing aid!"

====

I am sure they could all feel it through the pews.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at May 09, 2026 10:37 PM (/lPRQ)

113 Missing my Mom right now. But she's with Dad now, and my sister.

I wanna go to Heaven, just not right now.
Posted by: Pug Mahon

Mom, dad & wife. I feel your pain.
Tomorrow will be weird.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 09, 2026 10:37 PM (S838b)

114 I just came back from celebrating mom's birthday in Portland.

She and her yenta friends disapprove of me and my politics.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at May 09, 2026 10:37 PM (RIvkX)

115 Bit into a piece of banana nut bread earlier this evening and cracked a crown. Since when are there fucking nuts in bananas.
Posted by: Easy the Elder at May 09, 2026 10:33 PM (Edy1T)

Ummmm...that's not a banana...

Posted by: Diogenes at May 09, 2026 10:38 PM (2WIwB)

116 Wife turns to Husband suddenly during the service, leans close to his ear and says "I've just done a silent fart. What should I do?"

Husband says "Put new batteries in your hearing aid!"

====

I am sure they could all feel it through the pews.
Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher

Nothing like a wooden seat. Same as grade school with the wooden desk seat and enclosed metal frame.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 09, 2026 10:38 PM (S838b)

117
Between the missus and me, we are down to one parent still alive, her mother. The family is gathering with her tomorrow.

My own mother passed on two days after Mother's Day in 2022. All four of we kids had gotten up to Michigan to see her at one point or another during her last six weeks before passing.

Posted by: Krebs 'v' Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) Imprison! Imprison! Imprison! at May 09, 2026 10:39 PM (xG4kz)

118 A co-worker got on a rum kick when working in the Caribbean. He recommended Flor De Cana. I liked it fine, but without someone to make the mojitos my interest in rum didn't last long.

Posted by: PaleRider at May 09, 2026 10:39 PM (PV+Zw)

119 Posted by: rickb223 at May 09, 2026 10:37 PM (S838b)

Bittersweet. I love that word. Fraught with meaning.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Rock 'n' Roll Martian at May 09, 2026 10:39 PM (0aYVJ)

120 Huh. I didn't realize that Police video was Throckmorton-approved.

Posted by: GWB at May 09, 2026 10:41 PM (zMT95)

121 🌺💐
{{nurse r}}
I haven't had a mom in over 55 years. I miss her still. God bless you my dear! I bet you are a BEST mom!

Posted by: COMountainMarie at May 09, 2026 10:42 PM (uTEOj)

122 I have a 90" long pew for one side of my kitchen table. I had pads made for it. Came out of the chapel at DePaul Hospital in Norfolk. I saved it from the dumpster when they got new ones. It's over a hundred years old.

Posted by: Oak Is Good at May 09, 2026 10:42 PM (oftw2)

123 109 Would that be the AOSHQ permanent record, or THE record at NSA?
Posted by: The Grateful at May 09, 2026 10:36 PM (IQ6Gq)

I convinced the NSA that I don't exist. I'm still working on the IRS.

Posted by: tankdemon at May 09, 2026 10:42 PM (lbImv)

124 A co-worker got on a rum kick when working in the Caribbean. He recommended Flor De Cana. I liked it fine, but without someone to make the mojitos my interest in rum didn't last long.
Posted by: PaleRider

Best dark rum bar none:
Sebastian's on the Beach. Little Apple Bay, Tortola BVI

Dark rum. Locally made for their restaurant and hotel.

Can drink it straight without any burn.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 09, 2026 10:43 PM (S838b)

125 I have a 90" long pew for one side of my kitchen table.

But (or butt) how's the vibrato?

Posted by: LRob in OK at May 09, 2026 10:43 PM (Jr+re)

126 Nothing like a wooden seat. Same as grade school with the wooden desk seat and enclosed metal frame.
Posted by: rickb223 at May 09, 2026 10:38 PM (S838b)
====

I have a very clear memory of the 3rd grade the teacher was reading "Sounder" aloud and glancing my buddy leaning over in one of those little wooden seats and it was loud like a gunshot. The whole class busted out laughing.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at May 09, 2026 10:43 PM (RIvkX)

127 Waiting for Pookette's band trip bus. Probably shouldn't be listening to ZZ Top in the Christian school parking lot, but my windows are up and my brothers raised me wrong. *shrug*

Posted by: pookysgirl's dad was more of an ABBA fan at May 09, 2026 10:44 PM (2IlJ7)

128 But there's just something missing:

A lightbulb dangling at the end of a cord from the ceiling fixture, and the notion that the bulb and pattern are totally freaking HILARIOUS

Posted by: JQ at May 09, 2026 10:18 PM (rdVOm)

lol. yup.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 09, 2026 10:44 PM (snZF9)

129 122 I have a 90" long pew for one side of my kitchen table. I had pads made for it. Came out of the chapel at DePaul Hospital in Norfolk. I saved it from the dumpster when they got new ones. It's over a hundred years old.
Posted by: Oak Is Good
---

Post modernity has no appreciation of wood.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at May 09, 2026 10:45 PM (3UR/I)

130 COMM!

I was 24 when my mom died. You must have been a child.

Smooches and hugs.

Can we sit at the wobbly
Table and snicker at the boys being dorks?

Posted by: nurse ratched at May 09, 2026 10:45 PM (A5RD0)

131 118 A co-worker got on a rum kick when working in the Caribbean. He recommended Flor De Cana. I liked it fine, but without someone to make the mojitos my interest in rum didn't last long.
Posted by: PaleRider at May 09, 2026 10:39 PM (PV+Zw)

My wife makes the best mojitos. Not saying that's why I married her, but it didn't hurt...

Posted by: Ex Rex Reeder at May 09, 2026 10:46 PM (QaH55)

132 Waiting for Pookette's band trip bus. Probably shouldn't be listening to ZZ Top in the Christian school parking lot, but my windows are up and my brothers raised me wrong. *shrug*
Posted by: pookysgirl's dad was more of an ABBA fan at May 09, 2026 10:44 PM (2IlJ7)
====

Are you smoking a cigarette? That would help with the overall effect.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at May 09, 2026 10:49 PM (RIvkX)

133 I convinced the NSA that I don't exist. I'm still working on the IRS.
Posted by: tankdemon
**************
Lucky foy for you the feds don't talk to each other. But you should have convinced the IRS you don't exist....

Posted by: The Grateful at May 09, 2026 10:50 PM (IQ6Gq)

134 Got a close friend south of here who has more money than he can count. I am NOT a fan of tequila (it should be registered as a hallucinogen) but he brings out some expensive stuff that is literally sippable. I could be converted if I could afford it!

Posted by: LRob in OK at May 09, 2026 10:50 PM (Jr+re)

135 Could be a mark on your permanent record!
Posted by: TRex - VP adjacent dino at May 09, 2026
*
I've got a really good eraser.
Posted by: tankdemon at May 09, 2026

***
Dorothy Parker said that the only useful thing she ever learned in school was that if you spit on a pencil eraser, it will erase ink. Maybe that was true of 1910s and 1920s ink. I've tried it today, and nada.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at May 09, 2026 10:50 PM (wzUl9)

136 Hey nurse - thanks for telling your story. I am so sorry, that is so hurtful. My ex treated Mother's Day the same way.

To those who are expressing sympathy, thanks. It is nice to know that there are men who appreciate the women who made them fathers.

Posted by: AmericanKestrel at May 09, 2026 10:50 PM (RkOfE)

137 Post modernity has no appreciation of wood.

Posted by: Braenyard

The Dickens you say!

Posted by: Mayor Pete at May 09, 2026 10:51 PM (oftw2)

138 I have a 90" long pew for one side of my kitchen table. I had pads made for it. Came out of the chapel at DePaul Hospital in Norfolk. I saved it from the dumpster when they got new ones. It's over a hundred years old.

Posted by: Oak Is Good at May 09, 2026 10:42 PM (oftw2)

Sweeeet. My brother would hate you. He just built something like that for his dining room. He would kill for an old original.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 09, 2026 10:51 PM (snZF9)

139 Nothing like a wooden seat. Same as grade school with the wooden desk seat and enclosed metal frame.
Posted by: rickb223 at May 09, 2026 10:38 PM (S838b)

Oak gives you a nice tone, but walnut or mahogany are best for volume and resonance.

Posted by: Diogenes at May 09, 2026 10:51 PM (2WIwB)

140 Only at AoS could we have a thread honoring our mothers, intertwined with fart jokes. Oh, and analysis of Santana's guitar playing. All woven together like the threads of some ~~great tapestry~~ bathroom area rug.

Posted by: GWB at May 09, 2026 10:51 PM (zMT95)

141 My mother passed at age 70 in Nov. 1986, so it's been almost forty years. My gosh.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at May 09, 2026 10:53 PM (wzUl9)

142 Can I cross stuff out? I guess not.

Posted by: LRob in OK at May 09, 2026 10:54 PM (Jr+re)

143 Post modernity has no appreciation of wood.

Posted by: Braenyard

Depends on how much you have to pay for it.

Posted by: Easy the Elder at May 09, 2026 10:54 PM (Edy1T)

144 Nurse reminds me of something I heard once: You know you have raised your kids well when they grow up to be people you want to be around.
Well done Lady!

Posted by: Diogenes at May 09, 2026 10:54 PM (2WIwB)

145 A co-worker got on a rum kick when working in the Caribbean. He recommended Flor De Cana. I liked it fine, but without someone to make the mojitos my interest in rum didn't last long.
Posted by: PaleRider at May 09, 2026 10:39 PM (PV+Zw)

Flor de Cana is yummy. Used to buy it a lot, but it has become too expensive, being an import. Lamb's Navy is much cheaper, and works fine for rum and cola.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 09, 2026 10:54 PM (utfVc)

146 Mrs. F. will receive offerings tomorrow. Boy F. will prepare his famous eggplant parmigiana for dinner.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at May 09, 2026 10:55 PM (RIvkX)

147 AOP, isn't all rum imported to Canada?

Posted by: LRob in OK at May 09, 2026 10:55 PM (Jr+re)

148 I have a 90" long pew for one side of my kitchen table. I had pads made for it. Came out of the chapel at DePaul Hospital in Norfolk. I saved it from the dumpster when they got new ones. It's over a hundred years old.
Posted by: Oak Is Good at

Great find! Well done!

Posted by: AmericanKestrel at May 09, 2026 10:56 PM (RkOfE)

149 Oak gives you a nice tone, but walnut or mahogany are best for volume and resonance.

Posted by: Diogenes at May 09, 2026 10:51 PM (2WIwB)

I love working with mahogany and walnut. Oak is indestructible, but mahogany and walnut have really nice natural colors.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 09, 2026 10:57 PM (snZF9)

150 Waiting for Pookette's band trip bus. Probably shouldn't be listening to ZZ Top in the Christian school parking lot, but my windows are up and my brothers raised me wrong. *shrug*
Posted by: pookysgirl's dad was more of an ABBA fan at May 09, 2026 10:44 PM (2IlJ7)
====

Are you smoking a cigarette? That would help with the overall effect.
Posted by: San Franpsycho at May 09, 2026 10:49 PM (RIvkX)

Either that, or a long beard. Feel free to rock to "Jesus Just Left Chicago".

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at May 09, 2026 10:57 PM (qx7Zg)

151 My father passed at about the same age, nine years earlier -- and he was just nine years older than Mom. Odd.

If mothers-in-law count -- and they should; some are very nice, I know -- I drove past my second MIL's house this morning. No idea if she still lives there, or is even living, but there was a compact SUV in the driveway, so the house is still occupied by *somebody*.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at May 09, 2026 10:58 PM (wzUl9)

152 130 nurse

Snicker? I say laugh out loud😜!
Smooches and love back atcha💕
(And yes. I was a child...never really got over it).

Posted by: COMountainMarie at May 09, 2026 10:58 PM (uTEOj)

153 My ex never acknowledged my bearing and raising our boys. I asked him one year and he said “you’re not my mother.”

Posted by: nurse ratched at May 09, 2026 10:25 PM (A5RD0)

He sounds like a real asshole. Tell me you fell to your knees and dick punched him.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 09, 2026 11:00 PM (snZF9)

154 I wanna go to Heaven, just not right now.
Posted by: Pug Mahon, Rock 'n' Roll Martian at May 09, 2026 10:34 PM (0aYVJ)

---------
A word to the wise:

According to Mormon educational material, you'll need to bring a nice suit and tie.

Nothing is worse than showing up somewhere and realizing you're horribly under-dressed.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at May 09, 2026 11:00 PM (JkO4W)

155 Today Tom Peterson, bass player for Cheap Trick, turns 76. I'm not really familiar with Simple Plan, but by a neat coincidence their lead vocalist and studio bassist Pierre Bouvier also turns 47 today, and they once covered "Surrender" for the movie soundtrack of Fantastic Four (2005). So, here's two versions of the same song, from two birthday bassists!

Cheap Trick - Surrender (Live at Nippon Budokan, 197

https://youtu.be/ZbkypX1OhZ0
Note: Normally you would identify the bass player by looking for the guy holding a four- or five-string guitar, but Peterson is using an unusual 12-string electric bass here, as he did for their third studio album Heaven Tonight (197

that the song is from.

Simple Plan - Surrender (Lyrics)
https://youtu.be/wiBknA75YXM
Note: *NSFW* (uncensored F-bomb)

Posted by: SciVo at May 09, 2026 11:02 PM (Sy6m/)

156 A word to the wise:

According to Mormon educational material, you'll need to bring a nice suit and tie.

Nothing is worse than showing up somewhere and realizing you're horribly under-dressed.
Posted by: Cicero

I came into this world nekkid, screaming & covered in someone else's blood and I have no problem going out that way.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 09, 2026 11:02 PM (S838b)

157 Can I cross stuff out? I guess not.
Posted by: LRob in OK at May 09, 2026 10:54 PM (Jr+re)

left-square-bracket, then a 's', then a right-square-bracket. Square brackets are right below the squiggly ones on a regular American keyboard.

Posted by: GWB at May 09, 2026 11:02 PM (zMT95)

158 AOP, isn't all rum imported to Canada?
Posted by: LRob in OK at May 09, 2026 10:55 PM (Jr+re)

There are a number of boutique distilleries that make rum. I have not tried their stuff.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 09, 2026 11:02 PM (utfVc)

159 AmericanKestrel,
Well stated. Thank you.

Peace be with you, sweet lady.

Posted by: nurse ratched at May 09, 2026 11:03 PM (A5RD0)

160 Rum reminds me of the sickly-sweet medicine I had to take as a kid when I'd have an asthma attack. I can have it in small quantities if it's mixed in with a bunch of other stuff.

Posted by: PabloD at May 09, 2026 11:03 PM (C30Iv)

161 I came into this world nekkid, screaming & covered in someone else's blood and I have no problem going out that way.
Posted by: rickb223 at May 09, 2026 11:02 PM (S838b)

People always look at me weird when I say that. I'm not hanging out with the right people.

Posted by: GWB at May 09, 2026 11:03 PM (zMT95)

162 I came into this world nekkid, screaming & covered in someone else's blood and I have no problem going out that way.

-------

Let me know how it goes when you show up for your first harp lesson like that.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at May 09, 2026 11:04 PM (JkO4W)

163 I came into this world nekkid, screaming & covered in someone else's blood and I have no problem going out that way.
Posted by: rickb223 at May 09, 2026 11:02 PM (S838b)

Oh, and I award an extra bathroom token for the first use of "nekkid" tonight.

Posted by: GWB at May 09, 2026 11:04 PM (zMT95)

164 left-square-bracket, then a 's', then a right-square-bracket. Square brackets are right below the squiggly ones on a regular American keyboard.
Posted by: GWB at May 09, 2026 11:02 PM (zMT95)

Oh, and please end it with:
left-square-bracket, then a '/', then a 's', then a right-square-bracket.
Or visit the barrel.

Posted by: GWB at May 09, 2026 11:05 PM (zMT95)

165 Just got in. Did anyone ask how many of us are expected to get our wives a mother's day card? Even though she's not our mother.

Posted by: OrangeEnt at May 09, 2026 11:06 PM (1Ff7Z)

166 Can I strike stuff out? ~~Maybe.~~

Posted by: LRob in OK at May 09, 2026 11:06 PM (Jr+re)

167 I came into this world nekkid, screaming & covered in someone else's blood and I have no problem going out that way.
Posted by: rickb223

It’s the only honorable way to go.

Posted by: nurse ratched at May 09, 2026 11:06 PM (A5RD0)

168 My mother died in 2011 at 74. My father is still alive at 87, so is his sister at 90, and his brother at 92. I see them all every sunday for diner. All sharp as a tack. Dad's family lives forever. Mom's family is completely wiped out. I miss her, but damn if she don't have a knack for letting me know she's still watching.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 09, 2026 11:07 PM (snZF9)

169 Oh, and please end it with:
left-square-bracket, then a '/', then a 's', then a right-square-bracket.

Didn't do that? Is CBD lurking tonight?

Posted by: LRob in OK at May 09, 2026 11:07 PM (Jr+re)

170 Rum reminds me of the sickly-sweet medicine I had to take as a kid when I'd have an asthma attack. I can have it in small quantities if it's mixed in with a bunch of other stuff.
Posted by: PabloD at May 09, 2026

***
Rum reminded me of Coca-Cola (no doubt why it's often mixed with that). It was Jagermeister that reminded me of those cherry-flavored cough and cold medicines my mother often administered (read: forced on me).

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at May 09, 2026 11:07 PM (wzUl9)

171 Can I strike stuff out? Maybe.
Posted by: LRob in OK at May 09, 2026 11:06 PM (Jr+re)

What you can't do is simply quote someone else and have the strike stay around. You have to go put the strikeout command back in there.

Posted by: GWB at May 09, 2026 11:07 PM (zMT95)

172 Can I strike stuff out? Maybe.
Posted by: LRob in OK

You can Italian it too.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 09, 2026 11:08 PM (S838b)

173 I came into this world nekkid, screaming & covered in someone else's blood and I have no problem going out that way.
Posted by: rickb223

That soooo needs to be on a T-shirt. lol

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 09, 2026 11:08 PM (snZF9)

174 That ain’t beer!
Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit

I loaded the ONT up on my phone while watching the hockey pucks flying around, and thought it was a joke pic with "afro" heads on the beer.

* focus on the phone instead of the teevee *

Oh, flowers for Mom's Day. That makes more sense.

Posted by: mikeski at May 09, 2026 11:08 PM (VHUov)

175 I think the striking out is waaaay too complicated, so never mind. Thanks for the help!

Posted by: LRob in OK at May 09, 2026 11:08 PM (Jr+re)

176 Rum reminded me of Coca-Cola (no doubt why it's often mixed with that).
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at May 09, 2026 11:07 PM (wzUl9)

Well, here we go:
https://t.ly/93Ll_

Posted by: GWB at May 09, 2026 11:09 PM (zMT95)

177 Rum reminded me of Coca-Cola (no doubt why it's often mixed with that). It was Jagermeister that reminded me of those cherry-flavored cough and cold medicines my mother often administered (read: forced on me).
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at May 09, 2026 11:07 PM (wzUl9)

Jagermeister is nasty. Brake fluid is cheaper, and tastes better.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 09, 2026 11:10 PM (utfVc)

178 Good night, and may God bless.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Rock 'n' Roll Martian at May 09, 2026 11:11 PM (0aYVJ)

179 I think the striking out is waaaay too complicated, so never mind. Thanks for the help!
Posted by: LRob

Just remember the equivalent [ / letter ]

on the other end. (Without the spaces)

Posted by: rickb223 at May 09, 2026 11:11 PM (S838b)

180 Oh, and please end it with:
left-square-bracket, then a '/', then a 's', then a right-square-bracket.

Didn't do that? Is CBD lurking tonight?
Posted by: LRob in OK

It's a more-recent feature of the comment system, to help the Barrel with its diet.

You can "usually" miss one close tag, and not infect the rest of the comment section. Just the rest of your own post.

Posted by: mikeski at May 09, 2026 11:11 PM (VHUov)

181 Jagermeister is nasty. Brake fluid is cheaper, and tastes better.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 09, 2026

***
Hey, you want nasty? Mercedes' own power steering fluid, at least back in the '90s and '00s. Stuff smelled like stale pretzels dissolved in male cat spray.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at May 09, 2026 11:12 PM (wzUl9)

182 Boy I wonder what I could do to make "Comment of the Week." I suspect I'd have to make a comment that was significant and interesting.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at May 09, 2026 11:12 PM (CHHv1)

183 Now how in the hell did it do that? I didn't put in the equivalent letter and everything on the close dide was spaced out.

Crap. Auto close tags. That's how.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 09, 2026 11:13 PM (S838b)

184 182 Boy I wonder what I could do to make "Comment of the Week." I suspect I'd have to make a comment that was significant and interesting.

-------------

Nah. It's all a matter of who you know.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at May 09, 2026 11:13 PM (6/7Fs)

185 You can "usually" miss one close tag, and not infect the rest of the comment section. Just the rest of your own post.
Posted by: mikeski at May 09, 2026 11:11 PM (VHUov)

Used to be, the cool kidz put close tags in their nics.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 09, 2026 11:13 PM (utfVc)

186 ~I came into this world nekkid, screaming & covered in someone else's blood and I have no problem going out that way.rickb223

So, do you have someone particular in mind? Or just any bloody someone? Will you actually be screaming, or howling with laughter?
My mind wanders🙄 ...

Posted by: COMountainMarie at May 09, 2026 11:14 PM (uTEOj)

187 Happy Saturday Horde.

Very nice ONT, I am going to make some of those frozen lemonades when I host book night in June. Books are seldom actually discussed, but life stories are told along with food and drink and a certain level of reminiscence. I am one of the elders in the tribe.

Posted by: Debby Doberman Schultz at May 09, 2026 11:14 PM (0nHVk)

188 I think the striking out is waaaay too complicated, so never mind. Thanks for the help!
Posted by: LRob
=====

No, c'mon. It's easy enough. Just omit the spaces here:

[ s ]stroke[ \ s ] and you get:

~~stroke[\s]~~

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 09, 2026 11:15 PM (XeU6L)

189 I wanna go to Heaven, just not right now.
Posted by: Pug Mahon

A word to the wise:

According to Mormon educational material, you'll need to bring a nice suit and tie.

Nothing is worse than showing up somewhere and realizing you're horribly under-dressed.
Posted by: Cicero

Should be the other way. God made us in His image. And in the Garden, we were naked, until we got the devil's learnings.

So if we show up in Heaven dressed the way are in our coffins, St Peter and the gang must get a laugh out of all of us.

Posted by: mikeski is naked under his clothes at May 09, 2026 11:16 PM (VHUov)

190 So, do you have someone particular in mind? Or just any bloody someone? Will you actually be screaming, or howling with laughter?
My mind wanders🙄 ...
Posted by: COMountainMarie

No one in particular. And hopefully not any time soon.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 09, 2026 11:16 PM (S838b)

191 Ooooops. Nice example, Hammer

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 09, 2026 11:16 PM (XeU6L)

192 > They settled on a 12 cm diameter disc which was precisely enough to fit the longest known recording

Didn't some of Stalin's speeches span multiple analog recordings, including multiple discs of applause (it wasn't healthy to be the first person to stop clapping).

Maybe this was before the Euros decided that communism was groovy again.

(see what I did there?)

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at May 09, 2026 11:16 PM (qpyNK)

193 Books are seldom actually discussed, but life stories are told along with food and drink and a certain level of reminiscence. I am one of the elders in the tribe.
Posted by: Debby Doberman Schultz at May 09, 2026 11:14 PM (0nHVk)

---------

*passes talking stick*

Posted by: Iron Eyes Cody at May 09, 2026 11:17 PM (6/7Fs)

194 No, c'mon. It's easy enough. Just omit the spaces here:

[ s ]stroke[ \ s ] and you get:

stroke[\s]
Posted by: Mike Hammer

Forward slash. /

Posted by: rickb223 at May 09, 2026 11:17 PM (S838b)

195 That's it, out for the night.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 09, 2026 11:18 PM (XeU6L)

196 No, c'mon. It's easy enough. Just omit the spaces here:

[ s ]stroke[ \ s ] and you get:

stroke[\s]
Posted by: Mike Hammer

Forward slash. /

See! It's just too difficult to do.

Posted by: LRob in OK at May 09, 2026 11:18 PM (Jr+re)

197 Forward slash. /
Posted by: rickb223
-----

Yeah, stepped on my weenie.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 09, 2026 11:19 PM (XeU6L)

198 Jack Posobiec
@JackPosobiec
Hi @JohnCornyn! Did you think I would miss you retweeting ‘Republicans Against Trump?’ Why did you do that?
Image: x.com/JackPosobiec/status/2053235707209015789
3:08 PM · May 9, 2026

Cornyn led the charge of the Bipartisan Safer Communities Act (BSCA), which ended up becoming the biggest federal gun control law in three decades. Partnering with Democrats Chuck Schumer and Joe Biden (yes, Biden even praised him for it.) Cornyn funneled $750 million into ineffective “crisis intervention” programs. If you translate this from political speak into words, these programs were nothing more than red flag laws on steroids.

Posted by: BetaCuck4Lyfe at May 09, 2026 11:19 PM (9aVck)

199 Bed time for yours truly, I suppose. It may rain again tomorrow, but early am, around 5-7, is supposed to have a fairly low chance of the wet stuff.

Good night, all! Be good, and if you can't do that . . . don't get caught!

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at May 09, 2026 11:19 PM (wzUl9)

200 I came into this world nekkid, screaming & covered in someone else's blood and I have no problem going out that way.

-------

Let me know how it goes when you show up for your first harp lesson like that.
----
Ha! Reminds me of the Holmes scene where he rode the tube with a bloody harpoon.

Posted by: AmericanKestrel at May 09, 2026 11:19 PM (RkOfE)

201 Thanks for the ONT, Ds! The horde, especially the ONT horde, is great. Good night!

Posted by: LRob in OK at May 09, 2026 11:19 PM (Jr+re)

202 ~~strike~~test

Posted by: RandomDave at May 09, 2026 11:20 PM (aJQbY)

203 Wow. Buffalo Trace is smooooth.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 09, 2026 11:20 PM (S838b)

204 No, c'mon. It's easy enough. Just omit the spaces here:

[ s ]stroke[ \ s ] and you get:

~~stroke[\s]~~
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc.

Ooooops. Nice example, Hammer
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc.

Or you were just demonstrating the "one free close tag" by using backslashes. 😄

Posted by: mikeski at May 09, 2026 11:20 PM (VHUov)

205 Thanks, GWB! I didn't know the bbcode version

Posted by: RandomDave at May 09, 2026 11:20 PM (aJQbY)

206 Magic is in the air. And the water. And the dirt....

Howdy.

Yeah, Abracadabra didn't grab me. Quit at about 1 min in. Enjoyed the rest of 'em, though.

I'm afraid maybe I didn't get the first joke. A little more afraid that maybe I did.

😶‍🌫️🫠
Never really had psychedelicatessan visuals. There was one evening that some ground cover plants did seem to be swirling a little bit. That was pleasant.

Despite some interesting experiences, I was never "out there" on the astral plane. My trippy moments were all real:

In college (of course), a bunch of us were crammed into one room, in various states of chemical affect. There was one of those floor-to-ceiling poles with three lights on it that kept flickering. Nobody much cared.

Then I remarked that the flickering was in time with the beat of the music. Folks at first laughed and were, like, sure, man, you're high. Then one by one everyone realized the lights really were flashing to the music. Ooo, trippy, maan!

I traced the lamp cord, which was loosely plugged into an extension cord, draped over a speaker. The thumping bass jiggled the connection. Most amusing. Accidental cheap light show. Cheap thrills.

Posted by: mindful webworker - and then there was that time... at May 09, 2026 11:21 PM (Cl/mc)

207 182 Boy I wonder what I could do to make "Comment of the Week." I suspect I'd have to make a comment that was significant and interesting.
Posted by: BeckoningChasm at May 09, 2026 11:12 PM (CHHv1)

Have you tried kissing up to the Club ONT hosts? They're suckers for flattery.

Posted by: tankdemon at May 09, 2026 11:21 PM (lbImv)

208 Used to be, the cool kidz put close tags in their nics.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 09, 2026 11:13 PM (utfVc)
=====

Putting close tags in a nic are the same people who set their wristwatches 10 minutes ahead.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at May 09, 2026 11:21 PM (RIvkX)

209 ~~Buffalo Trace~~

Buffalo Trace

Buffalo Trace

Buffalo Trace

Rob, it's easy.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 09, 2026 11:22 PM (S838b)

210 Anyone ever smell the sperm whale (not to be confused with Lizzo) oil that was used in some automatic transmissions right up until the 1970s?

I don't recall ever smelling it.

I do know that sperm whale oil was the preferred fuel for home lighting, because it smelled better than the alternatives... right up until John D. Rockefeller started cruelly exploiting the populace by selling them dirt-cheap kerosene for heating and lighting. Damn him!

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at May 09, 2026 11:22 PM (qpyNK)

211 I came into this world nekkid, screaming & covered in someone else's blood and I have no problem going out that way.
Posted by: rickb223 at May 09, 2026 11:02 PM (S838b)

Hopefully you didn't get ejected when you arrived, and hit the wall head first.

Don Rickles said that was the reason for Phyllis Diller's hairdo.

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at May 09, 2026 11:23 PM (qx7Zg)

212 I do know that sperm whale oil was the preferred fuel for home lighting, because it smelled better than the alternatives... right up until John D. Rockefeller started cruelly exploiting the populace by selling them dirt-cheap kerosene for heating and lighting. Damn him!

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia

Either 100% paraffin or olive oil.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 09, 2026 11:24 PM (S838b)

213 Jagermeister was never intended to be drank in quantity, historically it was served in an almost thimble sized glass, ice cold, as an after-dinner drink to settle the stomach. It’s nice that way, actually.

Posted by: Common Tater at May 09, 2026 11:24 PM (OtFdX)

214 182Boy I wonder what I could do to make "Comment of the Week." I suspect I'd have to make a comment that was significant and interesting.

Seems like you just have to be breathing....ain't no big thing😑...

Posted by: COMountainMarie at May 09, 2026 11:24 PM (uTEOj)

215 I tried to have a Buffalo Trace last night at lib little sister's house. She had no ice. No ice.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at May 09, 2026 11:24 PM (RIvkX)

216 And peace be with you.

And also with you, nurse.

Posted by: Blanco Basura - Z28.310 at May 09, 2026 11:25 PM (+9wcF)

217 If you ever tore apart an old differential you smelled it. Nasty.

Posted by: Common Tater at May 09, 2026 11:27 PM (fS43b)

218 Jägermeister (/ˈjeɪɡərmaɪstər/ YAY-gər-my-stər, German: [ˈjɛːɡɐˌmaɪstɐ] stylized as "Jägermeiſter", is a German spiced digestif liqueur. Developed in 1934 by Wilhelm and Curt Mast, it has an alcohol by volume of 35% (61 degrees proof, or US 70 proof). The recipe of 56 herbs and spices has not changed since its creation, and the drink continues to be sold in a green glass bottle.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 09, 2026 11:28 PM (S838b)

219 Ii think I've found my spirit dinosaur.

It's a Sarcastisaurus.

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at May 09, 2026 11:28 PM (qx7Zg)

220 Anyone ever smell the sperm whale (not to be confused with Lizzo) oil that was used in some automatic transmissions right up until the 1970s?

I don't recall ever smelling it.

I do know that sperm whale oil was the preferred fuel for home lighting, because it smelled better than the alternatives... right up until John D. Rockefeller started cruelly exploiting the populace by selling them dirt-cheap kerosene for heating and lighting. Damn him!

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at May 09, 2026 11:22 PM (qpyNK)

I must have smelled it, but I don't recall the smell at all. Type A ATF was the original type, and it was made with whale oil. There is no longer an SAE specification for Type A. If you see Type A in a store, it can be almost anything. Modern ATF will work fine in any transmission that was built for Type A.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 09, 2026 11:29 PM (utfVc)

221 My 45 minute freakout has been resolved -

A bit ago I found the beer fridge in the garage was getting a bit warm inside... The garage itself hit 90 degrees for the first time this season, coils* covered with fuzz and leaves that blew in... pulled the access cover on back. Compressor running and hot.
So, it wasn't able to dumo heat. I cleaned up coils the best I can for now. Will do a thorough job tomorrow. Have to empty the thing out an lay it down to do it.

*coils are under the fridge.
Hard to get to for cleaning. Don't think you can even get fridges with exposed coils on the back any more.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at May 09, 2026 11:30 PM (/lPRQ)

222 And that's why people throw up their toenails. They drink it warm.

The company recommends that Jägermeister be kept on ice and served cold, and suggests that it be kept in a freezer at −18 °C (0 °F) or on tap between −15 and −11 °C (5 and 12 °F).[14]

Posted by: rickb223 at May 09, 2026 11:30 PM (S838b)

223 I tried to have a Buffalo Trace last night at lib little sister's house. She had no ice. No ice.
Posted by: San Franpsycho

Well, they do hate ICE.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at May 09, 2026 11:30 PM (diia5)

224 184 182 Boy I wonder what I could do to make "Comment of the Week." I suspect I'd have to make a comment that was significant and interesting.

Nah. It's all a matter of who you know.

PREZ.Spencer'32 -- Yes, CAN!
https://tinyurl.com/forWARd-PutASmileOnThatFace

Pratt is PRECISELY what is needed to overturn the Status Quo that Serves NONE.

He is the very Model of what is required: Citizenship; it is a status earned. to not just 'make' a difference, but to 'be' the difference -- and what difference he is.

"The difference between a civilian and a citizen? A citizen accepts personal responsibility for the safety of the body politic, of which he is a member, defending it, if need be, with his life. The civilian does not."

Karen Bass(tard, theFIRESTARTER) is neither; the fact that pitchforks and dung flinging ballista's are not surrounding her house for the sheer audacity of lying to people and cheating them out of a future worth having is a telling and sad statement of what the acceptable status quo really is.

LET'S GO BRANDON.
https://tinyurl.com/forWARd-nowYoureGettingIt
https://tinyurl.com/forWARd-signedSCHWARTZWALD
https://tinyurl.com/forWARd-SaveDaWorldTakeTheGun

Posted by: MANFRED the Heat Seeking OBOE at May 09, 2026 11:30 PM (SPuD1)

225 Mom's 90. She's not on death's doorstep but she's not doing well. She does know who her kids are and asks about Creamsickle, the big, feral orange and white cat who visits me periodically.

Posted by: Dark Litigator at May 09, 2026 11:31 PM (W5mpo)

226 Bed time for yours truly, I suppose. It may rain again tomorrow, but early am, around 5-7, is supposed to have a fairly low chance of the wet stuff.

Tell it brother! Yesterday I had almost 2ft. snow. Totally melted today. Life in the mountains....

Posted by: COMountainMarie at May 09, 2026 11:32 PM (uTEOj)

227 The company recommends that Jägermeister be kept on ice and served cold, and suggests that it be kept in a freezer at −18 °C (0 °F) or on tap between −15 and −11 °C (5 and 12 °F).[14]

Got the specs for Dracula Liqueur?

Posted by: Blanco Basura - Z28.310 at May 09, 2026 11:32 PM (+9wcF)

228 Good lord ...

I just realized that my Dad died 50 years ago today.

Mom outlived him by 47.

Too soon for both ...

Posted by: browndog says woof at May 09, 2026 11:33 PM (3sXRv)

229 My rum rotation now is Doorly's and Hamilton 86.

You would be surprised at how much sugar is added to some of the poplar to brands like Diplomatico and El Dorado.

Posted by: pawn at May 09, 2026 11:34 PM (+rSJz)

230 Finally got Pookette home. She thought she'd lost her sleeping bag, which I had put in a white trash bag with her name on duct on both sides. Turns out she'd forgotten to put it back in the bag, and her friend's father/a teacher found it. That girl would forget her head if it wasn't attached...

Posted by: pookysgirl loves her kids anyway at May 09, 2026 11:34 PM (Wt5PA)

231 Jagermeister tastes (IMO) like Ny-Quil.. probably better for you, since it doesn't contain acetaminophen. I think?

LOL. The kids "do shots" of it. Bleccch. If I *must* drink it, would rather the thimble-sized, ice-cold sip!

Posted by: JQ at May 09, 2026 11:35 PM (rdVOm)

232 BC, you have made many very thoughtful comments, don't sell yourself short.

COMM, so very good to see you.

Happy Mother's Day to my Mom and all Mom's, it is very much on the job training, I apologize to all of my kids for how I might have failed them, I was not a good juggler, but my heart was always in the right place.

Posted by: Debby Doberman Schultz at May 09, 2026 11:36 PM (0nHVk)

233 I gave my mom a solar lamp. It has a tall rectangle shape with cutout designs of flowers and a hummingbird so when lit, it casts beautiful shadows.

Posted by: AmericanKestrel at May 09, 2026 11:37 PM (RkOfE)

234 {{{DDS}}}!!!

Posted by: COMountainMarie at May 09, 2026 11:37 PM (uTEOj)

235 Abracadabra

Literally one of the worst songs ever recorded.

"I want to reach out and GRAB YA!"

Posted by: San Franpsycho at May 09, 2026 10:24 PM (RIvkX)

*Fist bump*

The guy took guitar lessons from Les Paul and T Bone Walker. The sum has never come close to equaling the parts...

Posted by: Joe Kidd at May 09, 2026 11:37 PM (nbLIj)

236 LOL. The kids "do shots" of it. Bleccch. If I *must* drink it, would rather the thimble-sized, ice-cold sip!
Posted by: JQ at May 09, 2026 11:35 PM (rdVOm)

There's a drink called a Jaegerbomb, shot glass of JM sunk into a glass of something else. I have never wanted to try one.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 09, 2026 11:37 PM (utfVc)

237 The guy took guitar lessons from Les Paul and T Bone Walker. The sum has never come close to equaling the parts...
Posted by: Joe Kidd at May 09, 2026 11:37 PM (nbLIj)

Steve MIller had some good tunes. Abracadabra is not one of them.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 09, 2026 11:39 PM (utfVc)

238
Happy Mother's Day to my Mom and all Mom's, it is very much on the job training, I apologize to all of my kids for how I might have failed them, I was not a good juggler, but my heart was always in the right place.
Posted by: Debby

Seconded!

Definitely learn as you go!

Posted by: AmericanKestrel at May 09, 2026 11:40 PM (RkOfE)

239 There's a drink called a Jaegerbomb, shot glass of JM sunk into a glass of something else. I have never wanted to try one.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon

Jaegerbomb a Screwdriver.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at May 09, 2026 11:40 PM (/lPRQ)

240 🎶
Both mother annnd daughter
Working forrr the yankee dollarrr…
😲
Doing some laundry and housekeeping, no doubt.

Posted by: mindful webworker - rum and coCAcola at May 09, 2026 11:40 PM (Cl/mc)

241 Got the specs for Dracula Liqueur?
Posted by: Blanco Basura

It doesn't have a Wiki entry.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 09, 2026 11:41 PM (S838b)

242 Jagerbomb-- drop shot of JM into RedBull (or similar)

Double YUCK!

But hey... kids, you know? They think they invented the Speed Ball. Heh.

Posted by: JQ at May 09, 2026 11:42 PM (rdVOm)

243 There's a drink called a Jaegerbomb, shot glass of JM sunk into a glass of something else. I have never wanted to try one.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon

That's like a boilermaker.
Shot glass of Jack dropped in a mug of Budweiser.

Ugh. My grandfather used to drink those.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 09, 2026 11:43 PM (S838b)

244
Nothing is worse than showing up somewhere and realizing you're horribly under-dressed.
Posted by: Cicero

Your mother wants you to wear clean underwear in case you get hit by a bus.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 09, 2026 11:44 PM (Cqx++)

245 @232 thank you. I kind of feel the same way about YouTube. I could get more views if I changed but then I'm entering a room I don't know.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at May 09, 2026 11:45 PM (CHHv1)

246 I came into this world nekkid, screaming & covered in someone else's blood and I have no problem going out that way.
Posted by: rickb223
.......

Murder spree at the nudie beach?

Posted by: wth at May 09, 2026 11:45 PM (oq9dX)

247 Boy I wonder what I could do to make "Comment of the Week." I suspect I'd have to make a comment that was significant and interesting.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at May 09, 2026 11:12 PM (CHHv1)

Seems I did it a good number of times just being my retarded self.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 09, 2026 11:46 PM (snZF9)

248 Irish car bomb, shot of Irish droppped into a Guinness.

Posted by: nurse ratched at May 09, 2026 11:46 PM (A5RD0)

249 Your mother wants you to wear clean underwear in case you get hit by a bus.
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr.

Does it really matter? I figure after getting hit by a bus, my underwear would *no longer* be clean, no matter the original condition...

Posted by: JQ at May 09, 2026 11:47 PM (rdVOm)

250 Wow. Buffalo Trace is smooooth.
Posted by: rickb223 at May 09, 2026 11:20 PM (S838b)

This is known.

Posted by: Diogenes at May 09, 2026 11:47 PM (2WIwB)

251 Your mother wants you to wear clean underwear in case you get hit by a bus.
Posted by: Bertram Cabot

If I get hit by a bus, I'm probably gonna shit myself anyway.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 09, 2026 11:47 PM (S838b)

252 I'm extremely happy that the double Ds are engaging tonight! What banter! What witicisms!
Yeah...just call it in boys...
Or, goodnight...

Posted by: COMountainMarie at May 09, 2026 11:48 PM (uTEOj)

253 I tried to have a Buffalo Trace last night at lib little sister's house. She had no ice. No ice.
Posted by: San Franpsycho at May 09, 2026 11:24 PM (RIvkX)

I wouldn't do BT on the rocks. Maybe a water back to cleanse the palate between quaffs. Put the water in the freezer for about 20-30 minutes. It'll be ready for your second round...

Posted by: Joe Kidd at May 09, 2026 11:49 PM (nbLIj)

254 I tried to have a Buffalo Trace last night at lib little sister's house. She had no ice. No ice.
Posted by: San Franpsycho

Well, they do hate ICE.
Posted by: weft cut-loop at May 09, 2026 11:30 PM (diia5)

***

I'm thinking there is a good chance this makes the top 10'ish next week.

Posted by: Diogenes at May 09, 2026 11:49 PM (2WIwB)

255

Please clean you plate, dear
The Lord above can see ya
Don't you know people
Are starving in Korea

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 09, 2026 11:49 PM (Cqx++)

256 Not really a cocktail guy, but for variety/amusement have started dabbling. Just sat down here with an Old Fashioned (Bibb & Tucker 6-yr bourbon). Not bad. Would have been nice to have the big round ice cube called for, but didn't have the molds for such in the freezer (typically just put bourbon rye or rum over those in warmer weather).

Tried a Manhattan a few nights ago. Was OK, not great, might need a different rye (Elijah Craig), though it's fine for sipping, to me.

Imagine there's a deep rabbit-hole of bourbons and ryes to make one's favorite version of these two classic cocktails. And while I like to have some variety and choice on the shelf, chasing the perfect combo with cocktails might require too much inventory (yeah, doesn't apply to decent booze, but only so much space).

Posted by: rhomboid at May 09, 2026 11:50 PM (U/Byj)

257 Jägermeister (/ˈjeɪɡərmaɪstər/ YAY-gər-my-stər, German: [ˈjɛːɡɐˌmaɪstɐ] stylized as "Jägermeiſter", is a German spiced digestif liqueur. Developed in 1934 by Wilhelm and Curt Mast, it has an alcohol by volume of 35% (61 degrees proof, or US 70 proof). The recipe of 56 herbs and spices has not changed since its creation, and the drink continues to be sold in a green glass bottle.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 09, 2026 11:28 PM (S838b)

It originated as a toilet bowl cleaner.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 09, 2026 11:50 PM (snZF9)

258
I wouldn't do BT on the rocks. Maybe a water back to cleanse the palate between quaffs.

I don't have a palate between my quaffs.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 09, 2026 11:51 PM (Cqx++)

259 It originated as a toilet bowl cleaner.
Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 09, 2026 11:50 PM (snZF9)

Well, if you get drunk on it, you can still use it for that.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 09, 2026 11:53 PM (utfVc)

260 Rachel Dolezal has been diagnosed with stage 1 malignant melanoma linked to years of tanning.

As a black woman you'd think she'd have some genetic resistance to melanoma.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at May 09, 2026 11:53 PM (/lPRQ)

261 Franpsycho - she doesn't have ice in the freezer? Wild.

Still haven't tried Buffalo Trace, will remedy that soon.

Posted by: rhomboid at May 09, 2026 11:53 PM (U/Byj)

262 It originated as a toilet bowl cleaner.
Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 09, 2026 11:50 PM (snZF9)

Well, if you get drunk on it, you can still use it for that.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon

If you get drunk on it, you are going to need to clean the toilet bowl.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 09, 2026 11:55 PM (S838b)

263 I was invited to a wedding once by a close co-worker. He said it was totally informal and to wear anything we wanted and show up whenever because it was just going to be a party.

I rolled in with my best friend who also worked at the same place and his girlfriend who was sporting a toy laser pistol dress in our finest Cape Canaveral beachbum beachwear.

I got to the door and Steve, who was getting married was dressed in a suit and tie and said "Were sure glad you are here, we were waiting on you"

Nothing like walking into that room.

Did I mention I was high?

Posted by: pawn at May 09, 2026 11:55 PM (+rSJz)

264 Itinerant, don't know the statistics, but African phenotype still vulnerable to sun damage. Melanoma, not sure. That person is a toxic buffoon but hope her case was caught early.

Posted by: rhomboid at May 09, 2026 11:55 PM (U/Byj)

265 Rachel Dolezal has been diagnosed with stage 1 malignant melanoma linked to years of tanning.

As a black woman you'd think she'd have some genetic resistance to melanoma.
Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at May 09, 2026 11:53 PM (/lPRQ)

Sucks to be her. But then, it kind of always did.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 09, 2026 11:55 PM (utfVc)

266 What if I'm going commando?

Posted by: wth at May 09, 2026 11:55 PM (oq9dX)

267 Still haven't tried Buffalo Trace, will remedy that soon.
Posted by: rhomboid at May 09, 2026 11:53 PM (U/Byj)

I'm a scotch guy, and Irish guy, but I always keep a bottle of BT handy. It's that good.

Posted by: Diogenes at May 09, 2026 11:56 PM (2WIwB)

268 Steve Miller was hands down the worst lyric writer in rock.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at May 09, 2026 11:57 PM (6/7Fs)

269 Steve MIller had some good tunes. Abracadabra is not one of them.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 09, 2026 11:39 PM (utfVc)

Yeah, "good", as in ok. Never great. Never approaching the mastery demonstrated here...

https://youtu.be/NkGf1GHAxhE

Posted by: Joe Kidd at May 09, 2026 11:58 PM (nbLIj)

270 If you get drunk on it, you are going to need to clean the toilet bowl.
Posted by: rickb223 at May 09, 2026 11:55 PM (S838b)

Well, a bellyfull of Jaeger hurled into the toilet with great force will clean off all the stains, and the enamel glaze as well.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 10, 2026 12:00 AM (utfVc)

271
Steve Miller was hands down the worst lyric writer in rock.
Posted by: Cicero

Somebody gimme a cheeseburger!

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 10, 2026 12:00 AM (Cqx++)

272 My ex never acknowledged my bearing and raising our boys. I asked him one year and he said “you’re not my mother.”
Posted by: nurse ratched
------
My wife has exactly the opposite take.. or the same... hell, you'll know what I mean.
She absolutely refuses to.allow me to buy or get her anything for Mother's Day.
She loves it when the kids, or the grandkids, or the great grandkids get her a card, or present or flowers, whatever, but she tells me, "I'm not your mother".

Posted by: buddhaha at May 10, 2026 12:00 AM (P/zug)

273 Boy I wonder what I could do to make "Comment of the Week." I suspect I'd have to make a comment that was significant and interesting.
Posted by: BeckoningChasm

Seems I did it a good number of times just being my retarded self.
Posted by: Berserker

That's my secret. I've even gotten double entries a few times, as myself and as a sockpuppet.

My comments are approximately:
1% significant
2% interesting
5% weird music links
88% hilarious
4% hilarious (to other people)

Posted by: mikeski at May 10, 2026 12:00 AM (VHUov)

274 Diogenes the only Scotch I have is from Japan. Well it was distilled in Scotland, but finished and aged at new-ish distillery in the mountains above Kobe. It's decent - which means it's accessible, I guess, as I'm a Scotch rookie.

I really oughta have some Irish around, just for variety. Easy drinking is nice too.

Have a bottle of great very very $$$ Japanese whiskey that I picked up last trip, nice liquor store in a small town had it mispriced *way* below normal price. If I hadn't been on the road I would have bought 4 bottles. Haven't opened it yet.

Posted by: rhomboid at May 10, 2026 12:00 AM (U/Byj)

275 Rachel Dolezal has been diagnosed with stage 1 malignant melanoma linked to years of tanning.

As a black woman you'd think she'd have some genetic resistance to melanoma.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at May 09, 2026 11:53 PM (/lPRQ)

I always thought of her *as* a stage 1 malignant melanoma.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 10, 2026 12:01 AM (snZF9)

276 Your mother wants you to wear clean underwear in case you get hit by a bus.
Posted by: Bertram Cabot
......

She also wanted me to clean my plate before excusing myself, and that did not mean squishing the baked squash under the dining room table like bubble gum.

Posted by: wth at May 10, 2026 12:02 AM (oq9dX)

277 Irish car bomb, shot of Irish droppped into a Guinness.

Posted by: nurse ratched at May 09, 2026 11:46 PM (A5RD0)

Ever do a Guinness float? Scoop of vanilla ice cream with a Guinness pour over. It niiice...

Posted by: Joe Kidd at May 10, 2026 12:02 AM (nbLIj)

278 I'm a scotch guy, and Irish guy, but I always keep a bottle of BT handy. It's that good.
Posted by: Diogenes

I am slowly getting back into bourbon. I got drunk when I was 16 on rotgut whiskey. I mean rotgut and drunk.

We were at a party. I was totally sober. I had the chance to drive the chick I had a crush on home, and I got the car stuck in the snow ascwe were trying to leave. She caught a ride with someone else. I went back in and grabbed a bottle an sucked it down. I tasted toenails.

I couldn't even smell bourbon for 50 years without throwing up.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 10, 2026 12:04 AM (S838b)

279 God is good, God is great
And we thank Him for this plate...

That didn't go down as well as I thought it might with my mom. I never saw her swing but I felt the slap. I tried to reason I was being clever by rhyming but that didn't go over well, either.

Posted by: turambar at May 10, 2026 12:05 AM (Q0yOR)

280 Per Wikipedia -

Corby Distilleries bottles Lamb's in Canada for the North American markets.

So apparently it is an import.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lamb's

Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at May 10, 2026 12:06 AM (ZVgZ4)

281 Rbomboid,
I had some Suntory once and was impressed but not enough to buy any. Probably because I tend to stick with what I like and I'm a fuddy-duddy that way. Except for cigars...

Posted by: Diogenes at May 10, 2026 12:07 AM (2WIwB)

282 In 2021, Mom was 101 but in pretty good shape. She was able to get around, with a walker, or for short distances with a cane and a handy elbow. MiladyJo and I were spending weekends with her, when her live-in helper had days off. Nice. Our local contingent also were at her house for birthdays and holidays right through the plandemic, when her other kids and grandkids stayed away. Didn't want to kill gramma. Ironically.

She went out to lunch with daughter, and had a good time. When she got back home, she fell in the bathroom and broke her hip. Taken to the hospital where they did a quick hip replacement. We expected she'd be back on her feet in short order.

Then I got a call from the hospital. My sister, who had control over her legally, said Mom had made her "end of life decision." Instead of getting up, they had her drugged and in at-home hospice. It was all completely beyond my control, short of a severe scene which might have landed me in jail. Last time I saw her alive, my sisters were hovering over her, discussing whether to administer fentanyl!!

She should not have been making that decision right after surgery. Nobody tried to talk her out of it.😡

Miss her every day.💝

Posted by: mindful webworker - legally, morally, spiritually criminal at May 10, 2026 12:07 AM (Cl/mc)

283 Have a bottle of great very very $$$ Japanese whiskey that I picked up last trip, nice liquor store in a small town had it mispriced *way* below normal price. If I hadn't been on the road I would have bought 4 bottles. Haven't opened it yet.

Posted by: rhomboid at May 10, 2026 12:00 AM (U/Byj)

Is it that glow in the dark stuff with the B-29 on the label?

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 10, 2026 12:09 AM (snZF9)

284 We were at a party. I was totally sober. I had the chance to drive the chick I had a crush on home, and I got the car stuck in the snow ascwe were trying to leave. She caught a ride with someone else. I went back in and grabbed a bottle an sucked it down. I tasted toenails.

I couldn't even smell bourbon for 50 years without throwing up.
Posted by: rickb223
.......

I love a happy ending.

Posted by: wth at May 10, 2026 12:10 AM (oq9dX)

285
Boy I wonder what I could do to make "Comment of the Week." I suspect I'd have to make a comment that was significant and interesting.

Nah. It's hit or miss, seemingly. Ones of mine that made the cut had me scratching my head. Ones that I really liked never came close.

Dunna worry your wee head about it.

Posted by: Krebs 'v' Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) Imprison! Imprison! Imprison! at May 10, 2026 12:10 AM (xG4kz)

286 I’ve asked several progtards what the difference is between Rachel Dolezal and a tranny.

Both pretending to be something they aren’t.
Both “living their reality”
One is celebrated , one is chastised. Make it make sense.

Posted by: nurse ratched at May 10, 2026 12:11 AM (A5RD0)

287 Then I got a call from the hospital. My sister, who had control over her legally, said Mom had made her "end of life decision." Instead of getting up, they had her drugged and in at-home hospice. It was all completely beyond my control, short of a severe scene which might have landed me in jail. Last time I saw her alive, my sisters were hovering over her, discussing whether to administer fentanyl!!

She should not have been making that decision right after surgery. Nobody tried to talk her out of it.😡

Miss her every day.💝
Posted by: mindful webworker

I'd fuck up my sister. Sorry. And I'd scare her so bad that the next time she'd be afraid of it ending.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 10, 2026 12:11 AM (S838b)

288 Have a bottle of great very very $$$ Japanese whiskey that I picked up last trip, nice liquor store in a small town had it mispriced *way* below normal price. If I hadn't been on the road I would have bought 4 bottles. Haven't opened it yet.
Posted by: rhomboid

Is it that glow in the dark stuff with the B-29 on the label?
Posted by: Berserker

That's why it's expensive. The barrels that were too far away don't glow and the barrels that were too close got atomized. Only a few made it to bottling.

Posted by: mikeski at May 10, 2026 12:12 AM (VHUov)

289 'Give Me Something to Believe In' was a sweet song by Steve Miller. Yeah, he wasn't great, but this was a nice little song. Just my goofy opinion...

Posted by: COMountainMarie at May 10, 2026 12:12 AM (uTEOj)

290 Perhaps that was oversharing. Still stings. Always will.

Guess I'm about to fade.

Posted by: mindful webworker - happy to all mothers at May 10, 2026 12:13 AM (Cl/mc)

291 I couldn't even smell bourbon for 50 years without throwing up.
Posted by: rickb223 at May 10, 2026 12:04 AM (S838b)

Same for me and rye. Well, no girl either. freshman year at college, and one of the old guys in the frat traded me his pint for my last two beers. I was spewing chunks.

Posted by: Diogenes at May 10, 2026 12:14 AM (2WIwB)

292 In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida Was dictated while drunk and was written down as heard. It was supposed to be “In the Garden of Eden” but well, drunk. It was still a top 40 hit. It’s not even in English!

Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at May 10, 2026 12:15 AM (ZVgZ4)

293 Diogenes Jap whiskey can be very very nice. If you like smooth, often a good choice. Ichiro or Nikka Coffee Grain, like buttah. Unfortunately it got "discovered" about 10 years ago or so, and prices zoomed. Their distinctive twist on aging (some bottlings) is use of mizunara oak instead of the standard, American white oak. Haven't yet tried any of that.

Last trip we spent a few days in a small town (where I found the mispriced booze), and spent part of a day shochu-tasting. Area is known for it. Reminded me of Sonoma in the old days or central coast (parts of it) still today - very informal, usually the owner or cellar master pouring for you.

Posted by: rhomboid at May 10, 2026 12:16 AM (U/Byj)

294 Tried a Manhattan a few nights ago. Was OK, not great, might need a different rye (Elijah Craig), though it's fine for sipping, to me.

Posted by: rhomboid at May 10, 2026

The vermouth is important. Martini and Rossi or Stock are my go tos. The proportion should be 1oz whiskey to 1/2 oz of vermouth. Scale up from there. So called "perfect" manhattans calling for equal parts of each miss the mark.

I won't wade into the bitters debate (Angostura vs Pechauds) I will encourage exploring orange bitters for those who don't think they like manhattans. Orange bitters makes for a very approachable cocktail..

Posted by: Joe Kidd at May 10, 2026 12:16 AM (nbLIj)

295 Rum reminds me of the sickly-sweet medicine I had to take as a kid when I'd have an asthma attack. I can have it in small quantities if it's mixed in with a bunch of other stuff.
Posted by: PabloD at May 09, 2026 11:03 PM (C30Iv)

[nods sagaciously]

Coca Cola and lime. It is the way.

Posted by: Kindltot at May 10, 2026 12:16 AM (rbvCR)

296 It’s not even in English!
Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit

Several bands sing in constructed languages. Magma, Kalafina, Sigur Ros.....

I'm not sure "drunken stupor" is a language, but there ya go.

Posted by: mikeski at May 10, 2026 12:17 AM (VHUov)

297 My enemy is red wine. Once I barfed that shit up the smell will make me puke.

Posted by: wth at May 10, 2026 12:17 AM (oq9dX)

298 I have to spend tomorrow with my mom at the hospital. Not a great few days. Went in to check her for pneumonia. Now they are checking her heart for the "widow maker". We will find out more tomorrow or Monday and see what, if anything can be done. Due to her age and medical condition, I am not sure they can do anything to be honest. Happy Mother's Day indeed.

Posted by: turambar at May 10, 2026 12:18 AM (Q0yOR)

299 Japanese whiskey is too perfect. Almost clinical.
It doesn’t have any character.

Posted by: nurse ratched at May 10, 2026 12:18 AM (cnePD)

300 The thing about comments is, you guys and gals are naturally interesting and funny. I'm dull and thick-witted and say funny things when I tragically misunderstand something.

I guess that's a talent but I don't the X-Men will hire me.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at May 10, 2026 12:18 AM (CHHv1)

301 My enemy is red wine. Once I barfed that shit up the smell will make me puke.
Posted by: wth

Gin. *hurl*

Posted by: JQ at May 10, 2026 12:19 AM (rdVOm)

302 Bers it was on Kyushu, but not down at Nagasaki. Which is a very nice small mellow city I highly recommend visiting BTW. I did get a very nice shochu at the Nagasaki airport (it's off the coast over some mountains from the city). They had sake and shochu tastings at the airport store - nice.

Posted by: rhomboid at May 10, 2026 12:20 AM (U/Byj)

303 Hi, BC!

Posted by: JQ at May 10, 2026 12:20 AM (rdVOm)

304 I won't wade into the bitters debate (Angostura vs Pechauds) I will encourage exploring orange bitters for those who don't think they like manhattans. Orange bitters makes for a very approachable cocktail..
Posted by: Joe Kidd

Shouldn't a Manhattan made with Peychaud's be called something else? Does New Orleans have boroughs?

Posted by: mikeski at May 10, 2026 12:20 AM (VHUov)

305 Happy Saturday Night ONT, Horde.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at May 10, 2026 12:21 AM (bEI8k)

306 The thing about comments is, you guys and gals are naturally interesting and funny. I'm dull and thick-witted and say funny things when I tragically misunderstand something.

I guess that's a talent but I don't the X-Men will hire me.
Posted by: BeckoningChasm at May 10, 2026 12:18 AM (CHHv1)

Hell.
Some teople pink most of us are under the affluence of incohol.

Posted by: Diogenes at May 10, 2026 12:22 AM (2WIwB)

307 I'd fuck up my sister. Sorry. And I'd scare her so bad that the next time she'd be afraid of it ending.
Posted by: rickb223

Liberals (so called) live in a different world.

I have to be content (as much as possible) knowing she will have her reward.

What goes on
https://youtu.be/US82KIWzfkU

G'nite, y'all.

Posted by: mindful webworker - time rolls on at May 10, 2026 12:22 AM (Cl/mc)

308 My enemy is red wine. Once I barfed that shit up the smell will make me puke.

UB40 hardest hit.

Posted by: Blanco Basura - Z28.310 at May 10, 2026 12:22 AM (+9wcF)

309 My enemy is red wine. Once I barfed that shit up the smell will make me puke.
Posted by: wth

High school. Buddy's house. His mom is out of town. Party. He had some red wine in one of those 80's three foot long stretched neck bottles. One of the girls in our group drank it. It had been sitting warm for years. I've never seen projectile vomiting like that.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 10, 2026 12:23 AM (S838b)

310 Joe Kidd I have Dolin vermouth, think it's decent. Used Angostura but actually also have orange bitters, will try that next time. The ratio I followed. Might be the rye, which I like straight.

Posted by: rhomboid at May 10, 2026 12:24 AM (U/Byj)

311 I won't wade into the bitters debate (Angostura vs Pechauds) I will encourage exploring orange bitters for those who don't think they like manhattans. Orange bitters makes for a very approachable cocktail..
Posted by: Joe Kidd

Shouldn't a Manhattan made with Peychaud's be called something else? Does New Orleans have boroughs?
Posted by: mikeski

Old fashioned with orange bitters.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 10, 2026 12:24 AM (S838b)

312 I am so thankful that I came of age in 1980 when the drinking age in Texas was 18. We had some barn burner parties.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 10, 2026 12:25 AM (S838b)

313 Recipe I've seen for a Sazerac calls for Peychaud bitters (of course), but I might try it with Angostura.

All this cocktail talk has forced me to go make another Old Fashioned. Being literally driven to drink. Shameful.

Posted by: rhomboid at May 10, 2026 12:25 AM (U/Byj)

314 Might share my best alcohol-related b**fing story once I get that drink mixed.

Posted by: rhomboid at May 10, 2026 12:26 AM (U/Byj)

315 309 We got hold of some Miller beer in the pony bottles somehow when I was a kid. Drank them on the baseball field that night. Woke up barfing it up. I then decided to skip beer and go to hard liquor. I think I made the right decision.

Posted by: turambar at May 10, 2026 12:26 AM (Q0yOR)

316 Hubby said his worst puking-sick drunk was on Sloe Gin.. Said it looked like a murder scene when he came-to. LOL

Posted by: JQ at May 10, 2026 12:28 AM (rdVOm)

317 Peppermint schnapps.

Posted by: nurse ratched at May 10, 2026 12:29 AM (gVbFl)

318 "I drank too much cheap X, and got violently ill, and now decades later I still can't stand the smell of X."

That's part of your body's normal defense mechanisms. We used to be rather opportunistic eaters in our hunter-gatherer days. So if you ate the funny green mushrooms and got horribly ill, you wouldn't accidentally eat the funny green mushrooms again. One smell or one taste would set off the "eject" mechanism again. Our biology hasn't changed enough to lose that defense.

Happens to babies, too..... if you got really sick as a baby the first time you ate peas or sweet potatoes or whatever, even if it wasn't the food that made you sick, you'll dislike that food for a very long time, if not for your whole life.

Posted by: mikeski at May 10, 2026 12:29 AM (VHUov)

319 I do know that sperm whale oil was the preferred fuel for home lighting, because it smelled better than the alternatives... right up until John D. Rockefeller started cruelly exploiting the populace by selling them dirt-cheap kerosene for heating and lighting. Damn him!

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at May 09, 2026 11:22 PM (qpyNK)

Actually there was a period between when whale oil started to get expensive in the early 1800s and when Kerosene came into regular supply that people started using "burning fluid" or "camphene" lamps, both of which where a mixture of alcohol and turpentine (4:1), and in the case of Camphene some camphor was added for the nicer smell.

It gave a decent light, was not too smoky, but unfortunately would build up explosive vapors when burned in a whale oil lamp. Lamps were developed specifically for burning fluid. Kerosene was hailed as less dangerous, when it appeared on the market.

Burning Fluid lamps generally had two wicks on metal necks, and each wick generally had a small cap that would prevent the extinguished wick from evaporating the fluid when it was not burning.

Posted by: Kindltot at May 10, 2026 12:31 AM (rbvCR)

320 The best bridge between despair and hope is a good night’s sleep.” —

Good night my pals❣❣

Posted by: COMountainMarie at May 10, 2026 12:32 AM (uTEOj)

321 Peppermint schnapps.
Posted by: nurse ratched

Oh, yuck!

XH & his USN buddies had "jungle juice" parties on weekends during training school days. Everybody brought a bottle and poured it all together with a few gallons of fruit punch. Said "Some asshole put peppermint schnapps in there and it ruined the whole batch! Tasted like mouthwash!"

Posted by: JQ at May 10, 2026 12:32 AM (rdVOm)

322 Hubby said his worst puking-sick drunk was on Sloe Gin.. Said it looked like a murder scene when he came-to. LOL
Posted by: JQ

Oh geez. A sloe screw up against the wall.

(Sloe gin fizz & a Harvey Wallbanger)

Posted by: rickb223 at May 10, 2026 12:34 AM (S838b)

323 My worst worst puking-sick drunk. Tequila. Yea, not all that original. It was a LOT of tequila. It was a literal black out drunk. Thankfully, I'm even a dull black out drunk, so no stories to tell. Woke up in my own bed, still wearing jeans and a t-shirt, which is what I was wearing the day before. Even managed to take my shoes off. I don't remember that. Those who did remember just said I staggered off alone. Almost heroic really!! Spent the day sitting near the garbage can, puking in a bag. The bathroom was too far a stagger. Haven't had tequila since. This was in the early 90s in the UK.

Posted by: Puddleglum at work at May 10, 2026 12:35 AM (NkASH)

324 XH & his USN buddies had "jungle juice" parties on weekends during training school days. Everybody brought a bottle and poured it all together with a few gallons of fruit punch. Said "Some asshole put peppermint schnapps in there and it ruined the whole batch! Tasted like mouthwash!"
Posted by: JQ

Ever made the mistake of finishing breakfast with a big gulp of OJ, then brushing your teeth or using a mouthful of Scope?

Mint and "fruit punch" will never play nicely together.

Posted by: mikeski at May 10, 2026 12:35 AM (VHUov)

325 Peppermint schnapps.
Posted by: nurse ratched at May 10, 2026 12:29 AM

Possibly in some good hot chocolate.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at May 10, 2026 12:36 AM (bEI8k)

326 The thing about comments is, you guys and gals are naturally interesting and funny. I'm dull and thick-witted and say funny things when I tragically misunderstand something.

I guess that's a talent but I don't the X-Men will hire me.
Posted by: BeckoningChasm at May 10, 2026 12:18 AM (CHHv1)

You know Chas, the epic "braille briefs for blind dates" thread that took over an ONT a while back was inspired by you. IIRC, you were musing (obsessing) over some panty-specific details, and my mind just went to that dark what-if corner where hilarity, on rare occasions, ensues...

Posted by: Joe Kidd at May 10, 2026 12:36 AM (nbLIj)

327 Nobody remembers lamp gas.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at May 10, 2026 12:36 AM (/lPRQ)

328 https://youtu.be/Ll34HfggyEg

Posted by: JQ at May 10, 2026 12:37 AM (rdVOm)

329 Peppermint schnapps.
Posted by: nurse ratched

Broken Spoke cowboy bar in Galveston, circa 1982, would let you pick a team on Monday Night Football. You'd get a round colored sticker for your lighter. When your team scored a touchdown (only) you showed your sticker and got a shot of schnapps.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 10, 2026 12:37 AM (S838b)

330 99 Abracadabra

Literally one of the worst songs ever recorded.

"I want to reach out and GRAB YA!"
***

Not even CLOSE to We Built This City

Posted by: Azjaeger at May 10, 2026 12:38 AM (3/XaG)

331 Spent the day sitting near the garbage can, puking in a bag. The bathroom was too far a stagger. Haven't had tequila since. This was in the early 90s in the UK.
Posted by: Puddleglum

It's funny how we remember the #1 worst drunk.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 10, 2026 12:39 AM (S838b)

332 Worst case of projectile vomiting I ever saw was the drunk that bet the bar $20 he could empty the pickled egg jar in one go.

People were backing away as he put the jar to his mouth. Sucker almost made it. We let him have the $20 that was thrown together.

Bartender was seriously pissed off, everyone took off and was afraid to come back he was so pissed.

Posted by: pawn at May 10, 2026 12:40 AM (+rSJz)

333 Wow, I fell asleep big time. What did I miss?

Posted by: Bulg at May 10, 2026 12:41 AM (77rzZ)

334 One of the girls in our group drank it. It had been sitting warm for years. I've never seen projectile vomiting like that.
Posted by: rickb223
.......

But did you get lucky?

Posted by: wth at May 10, 2026 12:42 AM (oq9dX)

335 >>>[Cornyn] If you translate this from political speak into words, these programs were nothing more than red flag laws on steroids.
Posted by: BetaCuck4Lyfe
--

Translated to common English, grift.
How much did Johnny get?

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at May 10, 2026 12:43 AM (3UR/I)

336 I know that Jefferson Starship gets bagged on, here. But! I always liked "Jane"

https://youtu.be/LJCuB-uhNgM

Posted by: JQ at May 10, 2026 12:43 AM (rdVOm)

337 Peppermint schnapps and Creme de Cocao in equal parts. Tastes like chocolate mints.

Posted by: clarence at May 10, 2026 12:45 AM (JKg5d)

338 One of the girls in our group drank it. It had been sitting warm for years. I've never seen projectile vomiting like that.
Posted by: rickb223
.......

But did you get lucky?
Posted by: wth

Not with her no. I had a girlfriend.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 10, 2026 12:45 AM (S838b)

339 The thing about comments is, you guys and gals are naturally interesting and funny. I'm dull and thick-witted and say funny things when I tragically misunderstand something.

I guess that's a talent but I don't the X-Men will hire me.
Posted by: BeckoningChasm at May 10, 2026 12:18 AM (CHHv1)

Cheers for the uninteresting!

Posted by: Nerd Herd at May 10, 2026 12:45 AM (NZPfR)

340 336 Mickey Thomas has some pipes

Posted by: turambar at May 10, 2026 12:46 AM (Q0yOR)

341 I remember seeing those big fancy wine bottles in the grocery store, back in the '70s... Chianti, I think?

Would like to find one now & turn it into a bong. Sure, it's been done... but has anyone seen one *lately*?

Posted by: JQ at May 10, 2026 12:46 AM (rdVOm)

342 Speaking of guitar players, if you aren't familiar with Mike Dawes, here's a clip - an appreciative nod to Eddie Van Halen, up to and including what he did to his guitar for the song.

Semi-acoustic, pickups on the bridge and across the tone hole, mic inside for percussive effect, mixing and effects box, but still, one guy making amazing music. I consider him the spiritual heir of Michael Hedges.

JUMP https://youtu.be/sKbrycmEGjU?si=7a3fv_3f3HRL6wNs

Posted by: buddhaha at May 10, 2026 12:47 AM (P/zug)

343 Wow, I fell asleep big time. What did I miss?
Posted by: Bulg at May 10, 2026 12:41 AM

Well, Sasquatch and Emmanuel Macron did a karaoke duet of I Feel Pretty, but honestly, Doof does it better.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at May 10, 2026 12:49 AM (bEI8k)

344 RMBS!

How’s Greece?

Posted by: nurse ratched at May 10, 2026 12:49 AM (A5RD0)

345 I remember seeing those big fancy wine bottles in the grocery store, back in the '70s... Chianti, I think?

Would like to find one now & turn it into a bong. Sure, it's been done... but has anyone seen one *lately*?
Posted by: JQ at May 10, 2026 12:46 AM (rdVOm)

Do you mean this?

https://tinyurl.com/tpcxasu8

Posted by: Nerd Herd at May 10, 2026 12:49 AM (NZPfR)

346 I'd fuck up my sister. Sorry. And I'd scare her so bad that the next time she'd be afraid of it ending.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 10, 2026 12:11 AM (S838b)

No shit. My mother's sister was the last one alive in my mom's family. She was my favorite aunt. She was 90 and was a pistol. Sharp as a tack and fully mobile, and I mean mobile. She would zip down the basement stairs and back up like it was nothing. I would visit her every few weeks since she lived in my home town, which was only 15 miles away, and I was there a lot anyway. During covid she fell and hit her head, not bad, had a small cut, and it was from a screw up in her BP medications. Well, she goes to the hospital and she tests positive for covid. She had no symptoms, none at all. They said oh your oxygen is a little low, we got a nice vent for you. My brother tells her son, our asshole cousin who recently discovered god, NOT to let them put her on a vent. He says if god wants her to have a vent its god's will. He didn't listen, and she was dead in a week. Didn't have to be that happen like that, but this stubborn asshole didn't listen.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 10, 2026 12:49 AM (snZF9)

347
312 I am so thankful that I came of age in 1980 when the drinking age in Texas was 18. We had some barn burner parties.
Posted by: rickb223 at May 10, 2026 12:25 AM (S838b)

Whenever younger ones ask “why was the drinking age set back to 21?” I reply “because of how we acted when we were 18.”

Posted by: Tom Servo at May 10, 2026 12:51 AM (25Mwa)

348 I'm a scotch guy, and Irish guy, but I always keep a bottle of BT handy. It's that good.
Posted by: Diogenes

I don't have any bourbon, but I have Greenspot, Balvenie doublewood 12, Redbreast 15, and Aberlour 16. And about 15 cans of Miller Lite.

Posted by: Dark Litigator at May 10, 2026 12:52 AM (W5mpo)

349 Not even CLOSE to We Built This City
Posted by: Azjaeger

That song should have been declared a public nuisance.

Posted by: Dark Litigator at May 10, 2026 12:52 AM (W5mpo)

350 Do you mean this?

https://tinyurl.com/tpcxasu8
Posted by: Nerd Herd

No.. these were tall, like maybe 3ft! Green glass, curved/twisted shapes. Local stuff? I dunno. I wasn't "of age" and Mom gave me That Look when she saw me getting interested in them.

Posted by: JQ at May 10, 2026 12:53 AM (rdVOm)

351 RMBS!

How’s Greece?
Posted by: nurse ratched at May 10, 2026 12:49 AM

{{{nurse}}}

It's been great so far. Just about to head to the airport for our next island stop. Lots of fun had meeting cousins and seeing the ancestral villages.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at May 10, 2026 12:53 AM (bEI8k)

352 Whenever younger ones ask “why was the drinking age set back to 21?” I reply “because of how we acted when we were 18.”
Posted by: Tom Servo

It oughta be 39 by now, if that's the rule.

Posted by: mikeski at May 10, 2026 12:54 AM (VHUov)

353 Rockefeller Court Scene 2 minutes 41 seconds

youtube.com/watch?v=DBrz57sNAc4

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at May 10, 2026 12:54 AM (3UR/I)

354 More and more these days, I feel like the whole world is on fire.
But it’s okay, I got marshmallows.

Posted by: Tom Servo at May 10, 2026 12:54 AM (25Mwa)

355 our asshole cousin who recently discovered god, NOT to let them put her on a vent. He says if god wants her to have a vent its god's will. He didn't listen, and she was dead in a week. Didn't have to be that happen like that, but this stubborn asshole didn't listen.
Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division

The things I'd do. Sorry.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 10, 2026 12:54 AM (S838b)

356 My schnapps story: went to visit my sister in Germany. First morning I woke up to a bunch of laughing from the basement area below my bedroom. My BIL had built a huge still. Apple schnapps. A couple days later the local paper ran a story about a schnapps still blowing up a couple miles away and burning the whole house down.

Posted by: wth at May 10, 2026 12:55 AM (oq9dX)

357 Peppermint schnapps.
Posted by: nurse ratched

Creme de Menthe. An entire 750ml bottle. Straight. After 2 cans of Bud. On the bus back from a high school field trip to the U.N. from NoVa.
My father was mortified when he found out. Not that i was drinking, but what i was drinking.

Posted by: Dark Litigator at May 10, 2026 12:55 AM (W5mpo)

358 Do you mean this?

https://tinyurl.com/tpcxasu8
Posted by: Nerd Herd

No.. these were tall, like maybe 3ft! Green glass, curved/twisted shapes. Local stuff? I dunno. I wasn't "of age" and Mom gave me That Look when she saw me getting interested in them.
Posted by: JQ

Stretched neck, like they used to do to 7-UP bottles at the state fair midway, only they were full of rotgut red wine.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 10, 2026 12:56 AM (S838b)

359
Have to pull pee escort duty for my mother. Her legs were swelling up, so we needed to put her on a double dose of furosemide (diuretic) -- 2x per day, and the evening one is getting in now.

She's on O2, and needs escorting to manage the damned O2 tube and canala..... Miley has sprained her foot and ain't too fleet of foot tonight.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at May 10, 2026 12:56 AM (w6EFb)

360 Spent the day sitting near the garbage can, puking in a bag. The bathroom was too far a stagger. Haven't had tequila since. This was in the early 90s in the UK.
Posted by: Puddleglum

It's funny how we remember the #1 worst drunk.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 10, 2026 12:39 AM (S838b)

Blackberry brandy. I was 15 and drank a shitload of it, and some beer. Brutally sick. To this day I can't even smell the stuff. I think that one episode not only cured me of drinking that shit, but killed any cravings for alcohol in the future. To this day I don't ever crave booze. I'll do a shot at night, but when I run out it will take days to get more because I just forget.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 10, 2026 12:57 AM (snZF9)

361 Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at May 10, 2026 12:56 AM (w6EFb)

Oh, prayers up for all of you!

Posted by: JQ at May 10, 2026 12:59 AM (rdVOm)

362 No.. these were tall, like maybe 3ft! Green glass, curved/twisted shapes. Local stuff? I dunno. I wasn't "of age" and Mom gave me That Look when she saw me getting interested in them.
Posted by: JQ at May 10, 2026 12:53 AM (rdVOm)

If it's any consolation, I think someone beat you to the bong idea:

https://tinyurl.com/4bnt9kxs

Posted by: Nerd Herd at May 10, 2026 12:59 AM (NZPfR)

363 Goodnight Horde. Happy Mother's Day to all the moms!

Posted by: turambar at May 10, 2026 01:00 AM (Q0yOR)

364 My worst drunk is known as the Armed Services Day Massacre of 1986. My friend and I were co-bartenders. He was making Tequila Fanny-bangers and I was making 7 Layer Pousse Cafes. I only recall that Chartruese was one of the layers. For the (blessedly) uninitiated, Chartruese is French Jagermeister.

Perfectionist that I am, I had to sample each of the seven layers on their own, so I could gauge the specific gravity in order to do the proper layering.

I actually managed a few good examples, but it was hot, and I had one or several fanny bangers to cool off. I ended up spewing at every corner of our host's yard, my friend following me with a shovel.

Later on, I woke up on a couch, the mere effort of opening my eyes sending my into a fit of dry heaves. My friend later told me that he put a mirror under my nose while I was out to make sure I was still breathing...

Posted by: Joe Kidd at May 10, 2026 01:00 AM (nbLIj)

365 Saw a really pretty girl in a restaurant on Friday. That is, really pretty except for the tats. Why do otherwise lovely young ladies do this to themselves?

Posted by: Bulg at May 10, 2026 01:00 AM (77rzZ)

366 Blackberry brandy. I was 15 and drank a shitload of it, and some beer. Brutally sick. To this day I can't even smell the stuff. I think that one episode not only cured me of drinking that shit, but killed any cravings for alcohol in the future. To this day I don't ever crave booze. I'll do a shot at night, but when I run out it will take days to get more because I just forget.
Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division

Yeah. After that rotgut whiskey incident when I was 16, I didn't touch whiskey again until now. I did gin all thru my 20's.

I got on scotch in '88 because my now ex-wife's family were coon asses and they'd drink anything made of alcohol EXCEPT for scotch.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 10, 2026 01:01 AM (S838b)

367 our asshole cousin who recently discovered god, NOT to let them put her on a vent. He says if god wants her to have a vent its god's will. He didn't listen, and she was dead in a week. Didn't have to be that happen like that, but this stubborn asshole didn't listen.
Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division

The things I'd do. Sorry.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 10, 2026 12:54 AM (S838b)

You have no idea. During this I was talking to another cousin on my father's side. He's a cantor, probably more involved with the church than this asshole pope. I told him yeah, he said it's god's will, if god wants her to have a vent so be it. My cantor cousin said, and I quote " fuck god, sometimes you need human intervention, and this has nothing to do with god, its between him and her doctors".

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 10, 2026 01:01 AM (snZF9)

368 All this conversation about puking drunks, and no one has mentioned... Southern Comfort???

Very few adults drink the stuff, because it is the bog standard youngsters "too fucking much" introduction to "good tasting" booze.
DAMHIK

Posted by: buddhaha at May 10, 2026 01:02 AM (P/zug)

369 I actually managed a few good examples, but it was hot, and I had one or several fanny bangers to cool off. I ended up spewing at every corner of our host's yard, my friend following me with a shovel.

Later on, I woke up on a couch, the mere effort of opening my eyes sending my into a fit of dry heaves. My friend later told me that he put a mirror under my nose while I was out to make sure I was still breathing...
Posted by: Joe Kidd

😳😳😳🤢

Posted by: rickb223 at May 10, 2026 01:02 AM (S838b)

370 Santana is overrated like Clapton. Technicians. Just no soul.

Posted by: Rev. Wishbone at May 10, 2026 01:04 AM (D1E+2)

371 The worst I've ever felt from recreational consumption wasn't alcohol, acid, mushrooms (or acid and mushrooms), or coke. It was pot. Just pot. I had just begun experimenting with making my own weed oil without any concept of quantity. Oh holy hell. I didn't think it was possible to get that high and I'm sure glad I never found myself back there again. (Though i will say the single, worst effect of any recreational substance is the alcohol spins.)

Posted by: Dark Litigator at May 10, 2026 01:04 AM (W5mpo)

372 All this conversation about puking drunks, and no one has mentioned... Southern Comfort???

Very few adults drink the stuff, because it is the bog standard youngsters "too fucking much" introduction to "good tasting" booze.
DAMHIK
Posted by: buddhaha

Yay! Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill & Mad Dog 20/20!

Posted by: rickb223 at May 10, 2026 01:05 AM (S838b)

373 Nurse, if you’re still here, you had a nice post last week extolling the pleasures of November.

I, too, love November.

Posted by: Bulg at May 10, 2026 01:05 AM (77rzZ)

374 After granddad had heart valve replacement surgery, we (mom, aunt, uncle, me) took turns helping him & grandmother (she was still recovering from carpal-tunnel surgery)...

Oxygen bottles in living room-- the center of house-- and granddad had many feet of O2 hose, so he could go anywhere in the house.

Middle of the night, grandmother calls out: "Help! JQ! Granddad can't breathe!" I was upstairs. Bolted up, put one hand on each rail, took the whole flight in one giant bound... ran out to living room & flipped valves, got O2 switched from empty bottle to full one. Whew!!!

So glad when portable O2 generators became available, later.

Posted by: JQ at May 10, 2026 01:06 AM (rdVOm)

375 The worst I've ever felt from recreational consumption wasn't alcohol, acid, mushrooms (or acid and mushrooms), or coke. It was pot. Just pot. I had just begun experimenting with making my own weed oil without any concept of quantity. Oh holy hell. I didn't think it was possible to get that high and I'm sure glad I never found myself back there again. (Though i will say the single, worst effect of any recreational substance is the alcohol spins.)
Posted by: Dark Litigator

😂😂😂

When you lay flat on the lawn and are worried you might fall off.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 10, 2026 01:06 AM (S838b)

376 Yukon Jack Canadian Whiskey. Never been more shitfaced in my life. Landed me in the drunk tank of Michigan Stadium raving about the paper I had to write on Crime and Punishment.

Posted by: Bulg at May 10, 2026 01:11 AM (77rzZ)

377 When you lay flat on the lawn and are worried you might fall off.
Posted by: rickb223

Worried? There are no atheists in foxholes and the bottom of bottles.

Posted by: Dark Litigator at May 10, 2026 01:15 AM (W5mpo)

378 If it's any consolation, I think someone beat you to the bong idea:

https://tinyurl.com/4bnt9kxs
Posted by: Nerd Herd

Never suggested that I was first to think of it, LOL!

Yeah... the 70s...

Posted by: JQ at May 10, 2026 01:16 AM (rdVOm)

379 Depeche Mode lead singer Dave Gahan turned 64 today, and I just wanted to find a video for "But Not Tonight" -- a bonus track off their fifth studio album Black Celebration (1986) -- since it's relatively uplifting. This turned into a task.

Their native UK edition of the CD had an extended remix (which they presumably preferred), but the shorter US version -- the one I'm familiar with -- has a nice-looking music video featuring footage from the film Modern Girls (1986), since it was on the soundtrack. There are multiple versions on YT now, including some with lackluster sound or distorted video, but I finally settled on this one where some nice chap named Steve 86 apparently paired normal video with the audio from the 2007 remaster:

Depeche Mode - But Not Tonight [Album Version] (Official Video)
https://youtu.be/9X5Jsf5jN_I

Posted by: SciVo at May 10, 2026 01:17 AM (Sy6m/)

380
We've had a few of those episodes with my mother. She's reached up in her sleep and pulled the canula out of her nose several times.

Also, one of the cats chewed a hole in the 50' tube one time. She was getting some flow, but not full. We've got a concentrator, with bottles when she has to go to appointments and stuff.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at May 10, 2026 01:23 AM (w6EFb)

381 I tried to have a Buffalo Trace last night at lib little sister's house. She had no ice. No ice.
Posted by: San Franpsycho at May 09, 2026 11:24

What? You said earlier no coffee, now no ice? What the heel is she British?

Wait, even the Brits usually have instant coffee.

Posted by: Farmer, with his own historic take at May 10, 2026 01:25 AM (55Qr6)

382 Finally watching the video of yesterday's Victory Day parade on Red Square. The North Korean unit with their chrome-plated AKs sort of stole the show. Quite a look.

Posted by: rhomboid at May 10, 2026 01:28 AM (U/Byj)

383 I vaguely recall a night in a pub in Scotland. The pub was memorable because the guy who owned it was a Pink Floyd fan. The building was white brick, so he painted the entire album, liner notes included, on the walls of the pub. Anyway, I got hammered in that place, stumbled out of the pub at midnight, stumbled to my B&B on the other side of town (Ayr), let myself in and went to bed. Amazingly, I let myself in to the correct B&B and was reasonably quiet doing so. Didn't wake anybody. The walk is a bit of a haze but I mostly remember it. Uneventful. Didn't puke either.

Posted by: Puddleglum at work at May 10, 2026 01:29 AM (NkASH)

384 383: Pink Floyd-The Wall. Forgot to add which album.

Posted by: Puddleglum at work at May 10, 2026 01:30 AM (NkASH)

385 Later on, I woke up on a couch, the mere effort of opening my eyes sending my into a fit of dry heaves. My friend later told me that he put a mirror under my nose while I was out to make sure I was still breathing...

Posted by: Joe Kidd at May 10, 2026 01:00 AM (nbLIj)

A few of us were at an irish pub one night. I'm not much of a beer drinker because I get full too fast, but I'll drink one here and there. Well for some reason the beer that night went down like water. We were getting pitchers of beer, like a lot, definitely more than 6. I don't know how much I drank, but it might have killed close to 2 by myself. Then, Mrs B spots her cousin, and she comes to the table, and then the shots start coming. I was frigging hammered. We get back to Mrs B's parent's house, because we weren't married at the time, and I collapse on the couch. I said man i feel like I'm going to be sick. Mrs B, my darling wife who you met in texas decides its a good idea to open a bottle of booze and stick it under my nose to make sure i did get sick so I didn't get alcohol poisoning. I spent hours behind her father's garage.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 10, 2026 01:31 AM (snZF9)

386 We've had a few of those episodes with my mother. She's reached up in her sleep and pulled the canula out of her nose several times.

Also, one of the cats chewed a hole in the 50' tube one time. She was getting some flow, but not full. We've got a concentrator, with bottles when she has to go to appointments and stuff.
Posted by: publius

My dad used an aquarium manifold that had one in, four out with on off switches. The oxygen generator was by the stairs. He had a hose hoing upstairs, one into the kitchen, one into the living room and one out to the back porch. He would open a switch depending on where he was going and leave the hoses there. When he got to where he was going, he'd just plug the cannula into the ore-positioned hose.

That way he didn't have to drag a hose around.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 10, 2026 01:31 AM (S838b)

387 I remember the one time I got hammered and should have gotten sick, but I was older and knew the exact moment to stop. My friend had an outdoor party. I went alone, and Mrs B was meeting me there at some point later. It was another one of those times when the beer went down like water. There was a few kegs. I was doing good, but then a few chicks I knew asked if I wanted to do shots. When a chick asks if you're a god you say yes, so I went into the house and sat at the table. I don't remember what it was, but it was purple. I did maybe 8 or 9 shots. I was wrecked. I sat outside in a lawn chair immobile, and Mrs B shows up. She looks at me and says, wtf happened to you, what did you do? I looked at her and blurted out PURRRPLE. She rolled her eyes and wandered off somewhere. lol

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 10, 2026 01:42 AM (snZF9)

388 I looked at her and blurted out PURRRPLE. She rolled her eyes and wandered off somewhere. lol
Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division

😂😂😂😂😂

Posted by: rickb223 at May 10, 2026 01:44 AM (S838b)

389 I sincerely hope that hubby's son doesn't shun me for following hubby's wishes at The End... Hubby and I had many deep conversations, when he was first diagnosed with "end stage" disease & before his dementia set in.

Well, he's outlived the original prognosis, but isn't in great shape. When nursing home wants to update his paperwork, I let it remain just the way he wanted it before:

DNR. No feeding tube. No blood products. Comfort care.

It's not what *I* would want for him, but it's *his* decision. I must respect that, like it or not.

Posted by: JQ at May 10, 2026 01:44 AM (rdVOm)

390 She looks at me and says, wtf happened to you, what did you do? I looked at her and blurted out PURRRPLE. She rolled her eyes and wandered off somewhere. lol
Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 10, 2026 01:42 AM (snZF9)

Lemme guess. She got a horse trailer and a sheep dip tank (for the vomit) to get you home without messing up her vehicle.

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at May 10, 2026 01:45 AM (qx7Zg)

391 PURRRPLE

Holy crap, Bers! I'm LMFAO so hard right now!!!!

Posted by: JQ at May 10, 2026 01:47 AM (rdVOm)

392 mindful webworker - legally, morally, spiritually criminal at May 10, 2026 12:07

So sorry to hear that mindful. We had a somewhat similar situation with my Dad. They really need to back off some of those meds when folks are elderly.

And no, you are not a criminal.

Posted by: Farmer, with his own historic take at May 10, 2026 01:50 AM (55Qr6)

393 Mrs B, my darling wife who you met in texas decides its a good idea to open a bottle of booze and stick it under my nose to make sure i did get sick so I didn't get alcohol poisoning. I spent hours behind her father's garage.
Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 10, 2026 01:31 AM

You got a keeper there.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at May 10, 2026 01:52 AM (kzjln)

394 When you lay flat on the lawn and are worried you might fall off.
Posted by: rickb223
.......

The flat earth will tilt.
I still think you should have made out with the chick after she upchucked all the red wine.
A breath mint and you're good to go.

Posted by: wth at May 10, 2026 01:55 AM (oq9dX)

395
Ya'll are cracking me up.

Thanks for the laughs.

Posted by: four seasons at May 10, 2026 01:56 AM (3ek7K)

396 PURRRPLE

Holy crap, Bers! I'm LMFAO so hard right now!!!!

Posted by: JQ at May 10, 2026 01:47 AM (rdVOm)

Yeah that took all the strength I had. lol

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 10, 2026 01:56 AM (snZF9)

397 Great stories tonight

JQ it is right to honor your husband's wishes. An easy to defend position. Prayers that it will be well received and understood by step son.

Good night everyone

Peace

Posted by: AmericanKestrel at May 10, 2026 01:59 AM (RkOfE)

398 It's not what *I* would want for him, but it's *his* decision. I must respect that, like it or not.
Posted by: JQ
---

Buddy's older brother has fought cancer for over 10-15 years, the final meds he had to take were making him sick and miserable. He talked it over with his wife and his doc. He quit the meds. He's spent the last year feeling better than in years. It's catching up and time is short. But like your husband he's considered the circumstances and considered the inevitable. It's none of the son's business, it's between you and your husband. He's lucky to have you. Tell the kid to fuck off.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at May 10, 2026 02:00 AM (3UR/I)

399 Bers, your wife is a smart lady! She likely saved your life by making you puke.

But you know that, of course.

*salute!*

Posted by: JQ at May 10, 2026 02:01 AM (rdVOm)

400 Lemme guess. She got a horse trailer and a sheep dip tank (for the vomit) to get you home without messing up her vehicle.

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at May 10, 2026 01:45 AM (qx7Zg)

No I was good. I didn't get sick. I was a pro by then. lol

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 10, 2026 02:03 AM (snZF9)

401 Tell the kid to fuck off.

Posted by: Braenyard

Oh.. well I sure hope it doesn't go that way! Kid is a bright, sensitive, intelligent lad. Surely I'm conjuring a worst-case scenario that probably won't occur.

But one never knows, right?

I want to believe that stepson knows the score and respects his dad's wishes too. His mom was an RN, and has likely filled him in on all the details which I might've missed in speaking with him.

It's all good. Probably.

Posted by: JQ at May 10, 2026 02:06 AM (rdVOm)

402 Bers, your wife is a smart lady! She likely saved your life by making you puke.

But you know that, of course.

*salute!*

Posted by: JQ at May 10, 2026 02:01 AM (rdVOm)

I only ever got sick with booze twice in my life, and that was the second and last time I ever got sick with booze.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 10, 2026 02:06 AM (snZF9)

403 Okay, last one. Today, Paul McGuigan turned 55. He was the original bassist of Oasis until he retired in 1999, after leaving and coming back in 1995; he apparently just found it stressful, and once he was a dad he was done for good. In the meantime, they have remastered the old music videos, where he will remain forever young -- now in glorious HD:

Oasis - Champagne Supernova (Official HD Remastered Video)
https://youtu.be/VGfDg7wju6M

Posted by: SciVo at May 10, 2026 02:06 AM (Sy6m/)

404 Ok all. Time to turn in. See everyone tomorrow at some point. Y'all take care.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 10, 2026 02:09 AM (S838b)

405 'Night, rickb223

Posted by: JQ at May 10, 2026 02:11 AM (rdVOm)

406 I sincerely hope that hubby's son doesn't shun me for following hubby's wishes at The End... Hubby and I had many deep conversations, when he was first diagnosed with "end stage" disease & before his dementia set in.

Well, he's outlived the original prognosis, but isn't in great shape. When nursing home wants to update his paperwork, I let it remain just the way he wanted it before:

DNR. No feeding tube. No blood products. Comfort care.

It's not what *I* would want for him, but it's *his* decision. I must respect that, like it or not.

Posted by: JQ at May 10, 2026 01:44 AM (rdVOm)

Its what he wants. I had to make the decision with my mother when she was dying of cancer. Her BP was dropping, she would be dead in 24 hours, and they gave me a choice to let her go, or they would artificially increase her BP with some big ass needle in her leg, and it wouldn't buy much time. I immediately said no, because I knew my mom, no frigging way she would want to live that way, and she would haunt me from the grave. She proved since that time she could do it, so I made the right choice. Its what she wanted.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 10, 2026 02:12 AM (snZF9)

407 Its what she wanted.
Posted by: Berserker

That. Right there. Is the bottom line.
Bless you for honoring her wishes!

Posted by: JQ at May 10, 2026 02:14 AM (rdVOm)

408
Now that Artemis prompted me to get spaceflight fever again, I've been keeping up with a lot of latest, and learning about stuff I didn't know existed.

NASA has the Swift Observatory, which is gamma ray burst detector along with some other instruments which launched in late 2024, and is now going on 22 years of operation. It had no thrusters of its on. Recent increased solar activity, puffing up the upper atmosphere, greatly increased drag, and the thing is going to reenter and burn up by the end of the year if something isn't done.

They're going to try to launch another little vehicle to dock/grab it and boost it up to a higher orbit in a few months....

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at May 10, 2026 02:16 AM (w6EFb)

409
They're going to launch that booster vehicle with something I didn't know existed, and that's a Grumman rocket plane. This thing uses a carrier aircraft that gets it up to around 40K' and then drops the rocket plane, dubbed Pegasus. The first stage is basically a rocket plane with wings that give it some lift and a tail for steering. That gets it up to about 200K', and then the second stage takes over, and it's a conventional rocket after that.

The payload capacity is just a smidge under 1000 lbs to LEO, but it's cheaper for small loads to low inclination orbits.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at May 10, 2026 02:22 AM (w6EFb)

410 Sounds like we have a non watermelon, non DEI, competitor. A professional in the game. Good.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at May 10, 2026 02:35 AM (3UR/I)

411 Cameco Sees As Many As 20 AP1000 Nuclear Reactors On The Horizon
--
Coming to a neighborhood near you.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at May 10, 2026 02:54 AM (3UR/I)

412 publius,

Pegasus was developed by Orbital Sciences Corp. Northrop Grumman bought the company.

It is launched by an L-1011, one of the few remaining flying.

Pegasus pretty much got priced out of the market (as did everybody else) by SpaceX.

Posted by: Jimmy Doolittle at May 10, 2026 02:55 AM (p2LWr)

413 *looks around at nearly empty Club*

Huh.

*mixes up a pitcher of 6-of-spades lemonade*

Wooh! Needs a dash of grenadine, to cut the sourness... or maybe a dash of Grand Marnier...

Ahhh, that's the ticket!

Posted by: JQ at May 10, 2026 02:56 AM (rdVOm)

414 @mariakalantze - May 7
As a Greek woman, I cannot stay silent… I owe this to my Ancestors !

❌️ BOYCOTT Nolan’s "The Odyssey" that has completely altered Homer’s epic ❌

Helen of Troy , the most beautiful woman in the world , was described by Homer with golden blonde hair, dazzling white skin and divine European beauty that launched a thousand ships.

She was a Greek woman, not Sub-Saharan African.

This is not representation. This is erasure of Greek and European history and identity.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at May 10, 2026 02:57 AM (3UR/I)

415 All this cocktail talk has forced me to go make another Old Fashioned. Being literally driven to drink. Shameful.
Posted by: rhomboid at May 10, 2026 12:25 AM (U/Byj)

I miss being literally driven to drink; it only happened a few times, but it was nice, I could get used to it. I normally have to drive myself. (Or walk, or drink at home...)

Posted by: SciVo at May 10, 2026 03:02 AM (Sy6m/)

416 Dutch ornithologist Leo Schilperoord, 70, likely contracted the Andes strain after visiting a rodent-infested landfill near Ushuaia before boarding the vessel on April 1
---

Take a tour of South America, where do you go?
A land fill.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at May 10, 2026 03:04 AM (3UR/I)

417 Lemonade sounds delicious but as soon as I finish these shrimp I'm heading for the hills. It's been fun.
'night.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at May 10, 2026 03:09 AM (3UR/I)

418 >> Pegasus pretty much got priced out of the market (as did everybody else) by SpaceX.

From what I was reading, in this case, where a low inclination low orbit is the target, there isn't much demand for "ride share", so the Pegasus was the cheapest option.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at May 10, 2026 03:11 AM (w6EFb)

419 'Night, Braenyard!

Posted by: JQ at May 10, 2026 03:13 AM (rdVOm)

420 So close to Pride Month!

https://tinyurl.com/4uu86wsc

Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at May 10, 2026 03:17 AM (1x2K9)

421 My cantor cousin said, and I quote " fuck god, sometimes you need human intervention, and this has nothing to do with god, its between him and her doctors".
Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at May 10, 2026 01:01 AM (snZF9

We approve.

Posted by: Deicide at May 10, 2026 03:24 AM (nUR++)

422 I have a very bad feeling about The Odyssey.

Posted by: Cow Demon at May 10, 2026 03:25 AM (nUR++)

423 370 Santana is overrated like Clapton. Technicians. Just no soul.
Posted by: Rev. Wishbone at May 10, 2026 01:04 AM (D1E+2)

Sacrilege. Carlos Santana has more soul in his little finger than Clapton has in his whole body.

Posted by: tcn in AK at May 10, 2026 03:25 AM (DwqWV)

424 So close to Pride Month!

https://tinyurl.com/4uu86wsc
Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at May 10, 2026 03:17 AM

Yeah...that one screams "search warrant for my hard drive."

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at May 10, 2026 03:27 AM (kzjln)

425 https://tinyurl.com/4uu86wsc
Posted by: Biden's Dog

Ugh! I'm no beauty queen, but man... that dude is FUGLY!!!

Posted by: JQ at May 10, 2026 03:35 AM (rdVOm)

426 Good night, horde! Sweet dreams to all of you and may tomorrow bring you happiness.

Posted by: JQ at May 10, 2026 03:49 AM (rdVOm)

427 https://youtu.be/dSQ40d8uoOI

Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at May 10, 2026 03:54 AM (y1wyK)

428 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cz0JIT62oxU

Posted by: Ray's Cyst at May 10, 2026 04:02 AM (jrgJz)

429 MS church was singing "Amazing Grace" as tornado hit and everybody escaped unharmed. From "Christian Post". And no, I cannot explain while some people elsewhere were impacted badly and others were not, and I am sorry for the people that were. I was just impressed by the kindness of neighbors nearby helping out:

https://tinyurl.com/ztyaby6c

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at May 10, 2026 04:08 AM (7RYym)

430 But "Got questions" has some thoughts about innocents suffering from one man's Christian perspective, and no, I don't want to argue about it, which is why I'm putting it at the end of an ONT. Again. Suffering can be very hard and I am very sorry for it.

https://tinyurl.com/246d2vf4

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at May 10, 2026 04:15 AM (xY6Tn)

431 I didn't get to bed until way late, but I might get up

Posted by: Skip at May 10, 2026 04:17 AM (Ia/+0)

432 Talk at you later, Horde. Airplane mode activated.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at May 10, 2026 04:18 AM (kzjln)

433 69 Black Magic Woman Smackdown

Larissa Liveir
Epiphone Les Paul
https://youtu.be/4FOj7DbJ66g

Ayla Tesler-Mabe
Gibson ES-390
https://youtu.be/6yJNijVVgYA

Posted by: Alteria Pilgram - My President has convictions at May 09, 2026 10:24 PM (glnUu)

I was biased against Ayla, because her kit is considerably more expensive; just guitar-to-guitar, her Gibson ES-390 is probably worth about 5 times as much as Larissa's Epiphone Les Paul Classic in Worn Heritage Cherry Sunburst ($3000 vs. $600). I didn't even recognize the under-shelf interface, but it looked faaaancy.

However, Larissa played less than 1/3 of the song, and didn't even touch her ~~knobs~~ (phrasing!) dials. Ayla made full use of her instrument in a conscious way, using both the volume knob and string muting to fade back into the mix as appropriate, moving fluidly between the lead and rhythm roles in a complex song.

Ayla may have been given more of a head-start in life, but she's diligently making good use of it; and I would say she has a real edge in skill, not just gear.

Posted by: SciVo at May 10, 2026 04:47 AM (Sy6m/)

434 Oh, whoops. Pixy's up!

Posted by: SciVo at May 10, 2026 05:21 AM (Sy6m/)

435 ~~slash~~

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 10, 2026 03:39 PM (XeU6L)

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