Baby's First Cafe

Train station in Porto, Portugal
By Jorge Chagas

Lazy leopard.

Cat hears a priest praising the savoir of mankind and of course thinks the priest is talking about himself.

Spring is here.

Flea-sy Rider.

Birthday for baby boy.

Baby and husky greet each other.

Baby girl gets her first gift of flowers.

Mama bird brings a meal for her baby, but it's too big.

This is not my idea of fun.

Husky delivery.

The baby elephant abandoned by its herd had fallen into depression and lost its will to live… until it met a dog named Duma and they became friends. ❤️❤️ pic.twitter.com/qepWLIRECD
— The Figen (@TheFigen_) April 26, 2026

The mother squirrel gently takes the hand of the woman who feeds her every day in the garden and leads her to her nest to introduce her to her babies.
This is aweeeee! 🤗🤗 pic.twitter.com/pBW2f6xT07
— The Figen (@TheFigen_) April 27, 2026

Olympic level! 🤣🤣 pic.twitter.com/Cf0lwTQMRX
— The Figen (@TheFigen_) April 25, 2026

Little gangsters.. 😅 pic.twitter.com/Jd6b3tSR81
— Buitengebieden (@buitengebieden) April 26, 2026

Posted by: Disinformation Expert Ace at 07:15 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 YAY! Cafe!

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at April 27, 2026 07:25 PM (VyBeY)

2 Evening, cafe patrons,

Sit anywhere you please. Well, not there, that's where the cafe cat . . . well, you know. And not there, that's my space. Anyplace else is okay. Uh, not by the potted plant; the owner's mother pours her drinks in there and she doesn't like to get up more than she has to. Have fun!

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at April 27, 2026 07:27 PM (TLAG7)

3 Train station in Porto, Portugal

Looks like a horror movie set. Train II: The Trackening.

Posted by: Delurker at April 27, 2026 07:27 PM (gtcuf)

4 That's a dark, dare I say foreboding, train station.

Posted by: Cow Demon at April 27, 2026 07:27 PM (T6aVk)

5 Good evening everyone

Posted by: Skip at April 27, 2026 07:28 PM (Ia/+0)

6 Skip, a very good evening to you.

Posted by: Bob Ben Had at April 27, 2026 07:30 PM (Cif43)

7 Well! I've made it 2/3 of the way home, and am sorry I left and sorry I chose to spend the night here. The humidity closed in on me, it seemed, as soon as I entered Missouri, but the true stupidity ("It's not the heat, it's the stupidity") didn't leap up and bite until I got here to Pine Bluff. It's a mess of a town, the hotel is only a little better than the Quality Inn I hated ten days ago, and I wish I were still back in Kansas.

I felt at home in the Midwest. These are not my people.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at April 27, 2026 07:31 PM (TLAG7)

8 Sit anywhere you please. Well, not there, that's where the cafe cat . . . well, you know. And not there, that's my space. Anyplace else is okay. Uh, not by the potted plant; the owner's mother pours her drinks in there and she doesn't like to get up more than she has to. Have fun!
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at April 27, 2026 07:27 PM (TLAG7)

—————-

Should I sit over there with Sidney, Clayton, Mohammed, and Jugdish? Can I help myself to punch and cookies?

Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 27, 2026 07:31 PM (u73oe)

9 Dude's walking on the wrong side of the yellow line. Bold? Reckless? Guess it depends if there's a cultural enricher nearby.

Posted by: She Hobbit at April 27, 2026 07:32 PM (TINjs)

10 Hey guys,

We have a launch in an hour.

ULA - Atlas V 551 - Amazon Leo (LA-06)
SLC-41 - Cape Canaveral SFS - Space Affairs Live
Launch Date: April 27, 2026 (EDT)
Launch Time: 8:52 p.m. EDT (April 28, 0052 UTC, 02:52 CEST)

https://youtu.be/0dsKqGYx37g

Posted by: Joyenz at April 27, 2026 07:32 PM (2F0/Y)

11 This is not my idea of fun.

Oh FUCK no. And I'm not even claustrophobic.

Posted by: Thin line between brave and stupid at April 27, 2026 07:32 PM (TbWk/)

12 I felt at home in the Midwest. These are not my people.
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at April 27, 2026 07:31 PM (TLAG7)

You still have us!

Posted by: LASue at April 27, 2026 07:32 PM (mFhj8)

13 Take Cole to the train station.

Posted by: PDJT at April 27, 2026 07:32 PM (KtOUo)

14 There are dozens of us! Dozens!

Posted by: NeverNude Gay Baked Potato Guy at April 27, 2026 07:33 PM (wBaIH)

15 Sittin' downtown in a Porto station, one toke over the line.

Posted by: Delurker at April 27, 2026 07:34 PM (gtcuf)

16 Unlike the cat in the last video, my cat Allie comes with her own built-in bandit mask.

She stole my heart, so she's doing something right!

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at April 27, 2026 07:34 PM (gnNyN)

17 PDJT@13, YES !

Posted by: Bob Ben Had at April 27, 2026 07:34 PM (Cif43)

18 I felt at home in the Midwest. These are not my people.
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at April 27, 2026 07:31 PM (TLAG7)
----
The Midwest is pretty good about making people feel at home.

Though it's threatening to storm right now with a possibility of hail and tornadoes.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at April 27, 2026 07:35 PM (gnNyN)

19 The squirrel was trying to tell the lady she needs to bring more food now.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at April 27, 2026 07:35 PM (6ydKt)

20 Posted by: Bob Ben Had at April 27, 2026 07:34 PM (Cif43)

————

What’s with the name change?

Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 27, 2026 07:35 PM (u73oe)

21 "This is not my idea of fun."

No way in hell.

Posted by: javems at April 27, 2026 07:35 PM (zFsEm)

22 Cat hears a priest praising the savoir of mankind and of course thinks the priest is talking about himself.

That priest is awesome. "Come here little pilgrim" LOL

Posted by: Delurker at April 27, 2026 07:36 PM (gtcuf)

23 Take Cole to New Castle.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at April 27, 2026 07:36 PM (Cqx++)

24 Duke, it was a blog joke that I can't get rid of. Hope you are well, good sir.

Posted by: Bob Ben Had at April 27, 2026 07:37 PM (Cif43)

25 "This is not my idea of fun."

No way in hell.
Posted by: javems"

It's like the ultimate swirly.

Posted by: fd at April 27, 2026 07:38 PM (vFG9F)

26 I felt at home in the Midwest. These are not my people.
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at April 27, 2026
*
You still have us!
Posted by: LASue at April 27, 2026

***
Thank God and Ace.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at April 27, 2026 07:39 PM (TLAG7)

27 Who was recording the video of the dog on the skateboard?
Maaaaayyyybbbbeeee a drone?
Most likely our friend AI?

Posted by: I gotta ask at April 27, 2026 07:40 PM (2Ez/1)

28 So did you find anything that suited you, Wolfus?

Posted by: fd at April 27, 2026 07:40 PM (vFG9F)

29
Portugal appears to be made out of rust.

Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at April 27, 2026 07:40 PM (PquBa)

30 Thank God and Ace.
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at April 27, 2026 07:39 PM (TLAG7)

Has anyone ever seen ace and God together in the same room?

Posted by: Just throwing that out there at April 27, 2026 07:41 PM (TbWk/)

31 Well, today has not been a total waste. I have a sense of accomplishment.

My hotel room had a fly in it and I could not seem to track it down or get it to leave by the door. And I knew it would keep me awake tonight. Asking the front desk for help, I thought, would be akin to asking a collie dog to help with your calculus homework. So . . .

I smeared a bit of my Swedish meatballs microwave dinner, a smidgen of the leftover gravy, on the plastic tray they provide here, and sat quietly with the box of crackers in my hand. Sure enough, Mister Fly comes and settles on the gravy. Wham! Wham! with the box. "Got you, you little bastard!"

Heh, heh, heh . . .

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at April 27, 2026 07:43 PM (TLAG7)

32 "This is not my idea of fun."

No way in hell.

Posted by: javems at April 27, 2026 07:35 PM (zFsEm)

Right? Path to a world hidden beneath rocks they say. I see only death.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at April 27, 2026 07:44 PM (snZF9)

33 I thought Portugal was made out of cork.

Posted by: Bob Ben Had at April 27, 2026 07:44 PM (Cif43)

34 Perhaps the feeling is mutual.

Posted by: The good people of Pine Bluff at April 27, 2026 07:44 PM (2Ez/1)

35 Husky are hood, sweet, dogs but they will dig your yard up like a pool contractor.

Something about them doing it in the snow and it’s ingrained in them like a permanent impulse.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at April 27, 2026 07:45 PM (6ydKt)

36 hood = good

Posted by: SpeakingOf at April 27, 2026 07:46 PM (6ydKt)

37 I grew up in a neighborhood with a large Portuguese population. Lots of overachievers among them.

A daughter from one family became a multi-millionaire in her early 20s. She moved to Cali with her new husband and opened a small chain of coffee shops in the San Jose area. Only a few years later that chain was bought out by a rapidly expanding chain and got filthy rich. That chain: Starbucks.

Son in another family became a well-respected Judge (Republican.) And another is a long-long-time Republican city council member. They were all Repubs afaik.

Posted by: Delurker at April 27, 2026 07:46 PM (gtcuf)

38 I'm working on how to weaponize 5,000 wine bottle corks

Posted by: Bob Ben Had at April 27, 2026 07:46 PM (Cif43)

39 Wolfus,

Perhaps your heart has fallen for Kansas.

Posted by: nurse ratched at April 27, 2026 07:46 PM (SCmha)

40 Awwww. I like elephants and dogs.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at April 27, 2026 07:47 PM (zZu0s)

41 Wouldn't try it today but back in my yute, yea I would've done the water cave.

Posted by: JackStraw at April 27, 2026 07:47 PM (viF8m)

42
Her Majesty and The Big Dummy should be home in less than an hour. Interrupted cooking the lamb and veggies, but they're back in the oven and may be ready by the time she gets home.

Almost all that lamb will be sliced up, frozen, and taken with her when she starts her four-week tour next week.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at April 27, 2026 07:47 PM (aGM2t)

43 hood = good
Posted by: SpeakingOf at April 27, 2026 07:46 PM (6ydKt)

Ghetto Huskies.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at April 27, 2026 07:47 PM (zZu0s)

44 Geez, dude. What'd I ever do to you?

Posted by: The fly at April 27, 2026 07:48 PM (2Ez/1)

45 Duke, it was a blog joke that I can't get rid of.
Posted by: Bob Ben Had

Try clearing your browser cookies. Preferably only for acecomments.mu.nu but some browsers may not allow you to choose.

Posted by: Oddbob at April 27, 2026 07:48 PM (vTZFs)

46 So did you find anything that suited you, Wolfus?
Posted by: fd at April 27, 2026

***
I liked Salina overall, and the people and the weather. There was one house, a sorta generic ranch, that I could easily have afforded, though I didn't *love* it. Then I got a ballpark figure on home insurance from my car insurance people (Flo's Bros, if it matters). $2697/year.

In contrast, a larger house, 20K more, in Terre Haute, IN, fetched a quote of . . . $1000/year. And Indiana property taxes are also lower than in Kansas, by a lot.

So, unless Salina is unusual in having high taxes, I think I'm out. My hostess at the hotel in Fort Scott put me on to a realtor who has a house coming up in that small town in June, and she assures me that taxes and insurance are much lower there. We'll see.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at April 27, 2026 07:48 PM (TLAG7)

47 27 Who was recording the video of the dog on the skateboard?
Maaaaayyyybbbbeeee a drone?
Most likely our friend AI?
Posted by: I gotta ask at April 27, 2026 07:40 PM (2Ez/1)

I am assuming it’s the dog’s owner, on another skateboard, wearing a Go-Pro.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at April 27, 2026 07:48 PM (6ydKt)

48 I'm working on how to weaponize 5,000 wine bottle corks
Posted by: Bob Ben Had at April 27, 2026 07:46 PM (Cif43)

A silent, non lethal flail (with provided tube sock?)

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at April 27, 2026 07:48 PM (zZu0s)

49 I smeared a bit of my Swedish meatballs microwave dinner, a smidgen of the leftover gravy, on the plastic tray they provide here, and sat quietly with the box of crackers in my hand. Sure enough, Mister Fly comes and settles on the gravy. Wham! Wham! with the box. "Got you, you little bastard!"

Heh, heh, heh . . .

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at April 27, 2026 07:43 PM (TLAG7)

I had one haunting me in the garage one night. I said screw this. Starting fluid and a lighter and his world ended. No way to escape the fireball. He went Hiroshima.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at April 27, 2026 07:48 PM (snZF9)

50 38 I'm working on how to weaponize 5,000 wine bottle corks
Posted by: Bob Ben Had at April 27, 2026 07:46 PM (Cif43)

I'm envisioning something like a Gatling gun that works on pressurized air

Posted by: Putting the "pop" in the chateauneuf at April 27, 2026 07:48 PM (TbWk/)

51 Oddbob, thank you. I have tried everything but that.

Posted by: Bob Ben Had at April 27, 2026 07:49 PM (Cif43)

52 Almost all that lamb will be sliced up, frozen, and taken with her when she starts her four-week tour next week.
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at April 27, 2026 07:47 PM (aGM2t)

I could have dealt with DH traveling that much when I was younger. Now? NFW.

Posted by: tcn in AK at April 27, 2026 07:50 PM (DwqWV)

53 Wolfus,

Perhaps your heart has fallen for Kansas.
Posted by: nurse ratched at April 27, 2026

***
I enjoyed going into stores, even convenience store gas stations, and hearing "Good morning!" and "Have a nice day!" instead of getting a "Whatchoo doin' in heah?" look or an incomprehensible gabble. Kansas was much more hospitable despite the rep the South has for that quality.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at April 27, 2026 07:50 PM (TLAG7)

54
HM said all that needed to be done when she got home was to plug in the RV. I don't believe that.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at April 27, 2026 07:50 PM (aGM2t)

55 51 Oddbob, thank you. I have tried everything but that.
Posted by: Bob Ben Had at April 27, 2026 07:49 PM (Cif43)

Then I will assume you already cursed it out. Lol.

Posted by: tcn in AK at April 27, 2026 07:51 PM (DwqWV)

56 I'm working on how to weaponize 5,000 wine bottle corks
Posted by: Bob Ben Had at April 27, 2026 07:46 PM (Cif43)
----
It is best to be prepared for roving bands of wine-thieving journalists.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at April 27, 2026 07:52 PM (gnNyN)

57 55 51 Oddbob, thank you. I have tried everything but that.
Posted by: Bob Ben Had at April 27, 2026 07:49 PM (Cif43)

Then I will assume you already cursed it out. Lol.
______

Sitting right here.

Posted by: Bigger hammer at April 27, 2026 07:53 PM (2Ez/1)

58 I'm working on how to weaponize 5,000 wine bottle corks
Posted by: Bob Ben Had at April 27, 2026 07:46 PM (Cif43)
----
It is best to be prepared for roving bands of wine-thieving journalists.
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at April 27, 2026 07:52 PM (gnNyN)

Hollow centers with a little Semtex?

Posted by: Still spitballing at April 27, 2026 07:53 PM (TbWk/)

59 tcn, yes I have. My computer literacy is a negative number.

Posted by: Bob Ben Had at April 27, 2026 07:53 PM (Cif43)

60 I’m sure I’m missing something, but can’t you just delete Bob from the name field?

Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 27, 2026 07:54 PM (u73oe)

61 Including a homestead exemption, Wolfus?

Posted by: fd at April 27, 2026 07:54 PM (vFG9F)

62 38 I'm working on how to weaponize 5,000 wine bottle corks
Posted by: Bob Ben Had at April 27, 2026 07:46 PM (Cif43)

Oooh, for reasons I can't explain, I have about that many, myself. Let me know what you come up with!

Posted by: Dash my lace wigs! at April 27, 2026 07:54 PM (zYpTz)

63 The TV here is much like my one at home, except that it is not already connected to the 'Net and has no antenna that the machine can detect. Again, asking the desk clerk for help would be like enlisting my cat Stirling to help with changing my car's oil. I guess I'll read, post here, and maybe watch a video on YooToob.

I need to hit the sack by ten anyway. I want to get up about 5:30, get cleaned up, grab some of the "free" breakfast downstairs after 6:00, and be out of here by 6:45 or so. As I did yesterday, I hope it isn't raining when I need to load my suitcases in the car. If it is, the car will be moved under the shelter outside the front door until I'm done.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at April 27, 2026 07:55 PM (TLAG7)

64 Oooh, for reasons I can't explain, I have about that many, myself. Let me know what you come up with!
Posted by: Dash my lace wigs! at April 27, 2026 07:54 PM (zYpTz)

——————

Reading this, I was sure someone was socking Kamala.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 27, 2026 07:56 PM (u73oe)

65 Your Brain Is Lying to You
Break Free from Overthinking, Anxiety, and Intrusive Thoughts
By: Lauren Walters

The current health crisis is apparently overthinking. I've seen several articles on avoiding overthinking lately. AOC is ahead of the game on this, huh?

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Fat, Dumb, and Happy at April 27, 2026 07:57 PM (ndZc7)

66 Including a homestead exemption, Wolfus?
Posted by: fd at April 27, 2026

***
They have that in Da Swamp, maybe elsewhere in the state. The first 75K of a home's appraised value is exempt from property taxes. I don't know how it works after that.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at April 27, 2026 07:57 PM (TLAG7)

67 Duke, it was a blog joke that I can't get rid of. Hope you are well, good sir.
Posted by: Bob Ben Had at April 27, 2026 07:37 PM

Have you tried showing it your kitchen table?

Posted by: Duncanthrax at April 27, 2026 07:58 PM (0sNs1)

68 47 27 Who was recording the video of the dog on the skateboard?
Maaaaayyyybbbbeeee a drone?
Most likely our friend AI?
Posted by: I gotta ask
---

Something about the speed the skateboard appeared to be traveling and the short legs running beside it didn't match.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at April 27, 2026 07:58 PM (Puq9y)

69 Dash, it involves cigarette butts, old 18 gauge needles and a dart gun.

Posted by: Bob Ben Had at April 27, 2026 07:59 PM (Cif43)

70 Breitbart: President Donald Trump says he wants to rename ICE as the National Immigration and Customs Enforcement agency.

Troll Level = GENIUS!

Posted by: Delurker at April 27, 2026 07:59 PM (gtcuf)

71 Then I will assume you already cursed it out. Lol.
______

Sitting right here.
Posted by: Bigger hammer at April 27, 2026 07:53 PM (2Ez/1)

*snort

Posted by: Dash my lace wigs! at April 27, 2026 07:59 PM (zYpTz)

72 I can't see my squirrels ever letting me even get close to them

Posted by: Skip at April 27, 2026 07:59 PM (Ia/+0)

73 Have you tried showing it your kitchen table?
Posted by: Duncanthrax at April 27, 2026 07:58 PM (0sNs1)

*louder snort

Posted by: Dash my lace wigs! at April 27, 2026 08:00 PM (zYpTz)

74 here are dozens of us! Dozens!
Posted by: NeverNude Gay Baked Potato Guy at April 27, 2026 07:33 PM

Way more than there are of us.

Posted by: Spheniscidaephiles at April 27, 2026 08:00 PM (0sNs1)

75 Duncanthrax, that is a last resort.

Posted by: Bob Ben Had at April 27, 2026 08:01 PM (Cif43)

76 "...it involves cigarette butts, old 18 gauge needles and a dart gun."
-----

That was a great episode.

Posted by: The ghost of MacGyver at April 27, 2026 08:01 PM (2Ez/1)

77 64 Oooh, for reasons I can't explain, I have about that many, myself. Let me know what you come up with!
Posted by: Dash my lace wigs! at April 27, 2026 07:54 PM (zYpTz)

——————

Reading this, I was sure someone was socking Kamala.
Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 27, 2026 07:56 PM (u73oe)

Corks, not cocks.

Posted by: Just one consonant away at April 27, 2026 08:01 PM (TbWk/)

78 I like that ICE designation

Posted by: Skip at April 27, 2026 08:02 PM (Ia/+0)

79 70 Breitbart: President Donald Trump says he wants to rename ICE as the National Immigration and Customs Enforcement agency.

Troll Level = GENIUS!
Posted by: Delurker

Um.....

Posted by: C.S. Lewis at April 27, 2026 08:04 PM (sAmhv)

80 "...5,000 wine bottle corks."
####

Or as I like to call it: Merlot Monday.

Posted by: Old Lady Emhoff at April 27, 2026 08:04 PM (2Ez/1)

81 I smeared a bit of my Swedish meatballs microwave dinner, a smidgen of the leftover gravy, on the plastic tray they provide here, and sat quietly with the box of crackers in my hand. Sure enough, Mister Fly comes and settles on the gravy. Wham! Wham! with the box. "Got you, you little bastard!"

Heh, heh, heh . . .
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius

And some say we Morons don't set high enough goals for ourselves. Go figure.

Posted by: Tonypete at April 27, 2026 08:08 PM (Kyh8Y)

82 O.T. My first world problem is that I have gone to the local Goodwill store several times to get a long sleeved shirt to get messy in (five bucks or so). When I got home, my wife points out that I got first quality like-new merchandise, and there is no way I am going to be allowed to mess it up!

Posted by: Fenderbender at April 27, 2026 08:08 PM (1FEc1)

83 Wasn't there something that used burnt cork... oh, yeah, camo makeup? Mix it in some bacon grease and sell it to peppers, Ben Had.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at April 27, 2026 08:09 PM (zZu0s)

84 Hummm, my cab has corks but my merlot has screw tops. An important social commentary.

Posted by: Bob Ben Had at April 27, 2026 08:09 PM (Cif43)

85 'A fine vintage, madame. May is u screw it for you?'

Posted by: Snooty AOSHQ Waiter at April 27, 2026 08:10 PM (zZu0s)

86 Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at April 27, 2026 07:48 PM (TLAG7)

Larry Bird lives there I believe since going to Indiana State.

Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at April 27, 2026 08:11 PM (kxLc1)

87 Why do peppers need camo?

Posted by: Delurker at April 27, 2026 08:11 PM (gtcuf)

88 Tomorrow's trek should take me close to eight hours. Four to Jackson; a swift visit to the Country Squire pipe shop, which is right on my route; maybe a quick lunch at a Waffle House; then about three hours home.

I'm exhausted just thinking about it.

One good thing: I gassed up soon after I entered Arkansas at the first Shell station I saw. E10 87 regular, as usual. My gas mileage as reported on the instruments is now 32-33 -- traveling at 70, A/C on, with hills -- whereas I was seeing 26-27 with the tank mostly full of that JumpStart brand's 93. Someone here last night suggested that JS's fuel may actually be E15 being passed off as E10. When I get home I'll write to the Kansas Weights & Measures Dept. about it and see if they will investigate.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at April 27, 2026 08:12 PM (TLAG7)

89 'A fine vintage, Madam. May I unscrew it for you?'

Posted by: Snooty AOSHQ Waiter, once more with feeling at April 27, 2026 08:12 PM (zZu0s)

90 Yeah, I have to think Trump's Lewis-literate advisors are going to talk him off that ledge. We already have a problem with Left Christians shooting at him.

Posted by: gKWVE at April 27, 2026 08:13 PM (gKWVE)

91 Why do peppers need camo?
Posted by: Delurker at April 27, 2026 08:11 PM (gtcuf)

To hide from the hipster hot sauce wanna be clowns.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at April 27, 2026 08:13 PM (zZu0s)

92 I smeared a bit of my Swedish meatballs microwave dinner, a smidgen of the leftover gravy, on the plastic tray they provide here, and sat quietly with the box of crackers in my hand. Sure enough, Mister Fly comes and settles on the gravy. Wham! Wham! with the box. "Got you, you little bastard!"

Heh, heh, heh . . .
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius

And some say we Morons don't set high enough goals for ourselves. Go figure.
Posted by: Tonypete at April 27, 2026 08:08 PM (Kyh8Y)
----
*** Stirling and Dagny were unavailable for comment. ***

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at April 27, 2026 08:13 PM (gnNyN)

93 Hummm, my cab has corks but my merlot has screw tops. An important social commentary.
Posted by: Bob Ben Had at April 27, 2026 08:09 PM

Screwcaps >>> artificial wine corks >> natural wine corks

Posted by: Wesley Crusher at April 27, 2026 08:13 PM (0sNs1)

94 . . . I smeared a bit of my Swedish meatballs microwave dinner, a smidgen of the leftover gravy, on the plastic tray they provide here, and sat quietly with the box of crackers in my hand. Sure enough, Mister Fly comes and settles on the gravy. Wham! Wham! with the box. "Got you, you little bastard!"

Heh, heh, heh . . .
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius
*
And some say we Morons don't set high enough goals for ourselves. Go figure.
Posted by: Tonypete at April 27, 2026

***
I need a T-shirt emblazoned with "SPLAT!!!", then.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at April 27, 2026 08:13 PM (TLAG7)

95 Snooty dude, hahahahaha. CBD and Pete Bog cringe.

Posted by: Bob Ben Had at April 27, 2026 08:14 PM (Cif43)

96 Since I was not able to join in on the early morning threads today, let me issue my usual Monday pronouncement:

"Sure, it's Monday. But compared to being the wrong side of the ground, even a bad Monday is pretty small kumquats, nicht wahr?"

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at April 27, 2026 08:14 PM (TLAG7)

97 Some of the first cigarette filters were made of cork

modern filter cigarettes have those dappled tan and white spotted paper coverings over the filter for aesthetics and a bit of corky nostalgia

Posted by: Don Black at April 27, 2026 08:15 PM (ZxPkt)

98 Posted by: gKWVE at April 27, 2026 08:13 PM (gKWVE

Are you saying the CD shooter pretends to be Christian? First reports said he was anti Christian.

Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at April 27, 2026 08:15 PM (kxLc1)

99 Hummm, my cab has corks but my merlot has screw tops. An important social commentary.
Posted by: Bob Ben Had at April 27, 2026 08:09 PM

Screwcaps >>> artificial wine corks >> natural wine corks
Posted by: Wesley Crusher at April 27, 2026 08:13 PM (0sNs1)

Box wine plastic pull tab for the win.

Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at April 27, 2026 08:17 PM (kxLc1)

100 maybe a quick lunch at a Waffle House;
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at April 27, 2026 08:12 PM

Best Waffle House, from a culinary-cultural perspective is 3:00 to 4:00 a.m. Waffle House.

You should avail yourself of this anthropological opportunity in your search for new hunting grounds.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at April 27, 2026 08:17 PM (0sNs1)

101
I smeared a bit of my Swedish meatballs microwave dinner, a smidgen of the leftover gravy, on the plastic tray they provide here, and sat quietly with the box of crackers in my hand. Sure enough, Mister Fly comes and settles on the gravy. Wham! Wham! with the box. "Got you, you little bastard!"

Heh, heh, heh . . .
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius

----------

Did you take the crackers out of the box first?

Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at April 27, 2026 08:17 PM (L78T1)

102 Another new book.

Enemy of the Sun
Poetry of Palestinian Resistance

-
I assume . . .

Kill kill rape kill
Rape rape kill rape
Paradise!

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Fat, Dumb, and Happy at April 27, 2026 08:17 PM (ndZc7)

103 I be pods two announce the first ananal FART Covention is be hold on 30 Arpel at the Brattleboro Gay Pride Lerning Centor.

Special guest speaker will bee Stienhofer Jones the event I r of the FART Tube. Tickets is be $100 purr persin.

Posted by: Mary Clogginstein from Brattleboro, Vt at April 27, 2026 08:18 PM (IJjgN)

104 Don Black, a Veterinarian I trusted with my life once handed me a bottle of a substance so toxic with a warning ... don't miss.

Posted by: Bob Ben Had at April 27, 2026 08:18 PM (Cif43)

105 You said rape four times.

Posted by: Harvey Korman at April 27, 2026 08:19 PM (2Ez/1)

106 We already have a problem with Left Christians shooting at him.
Posted by: gKWVE

More like heretics masquerading as Christians.

Posted by: Brother Tim, still standing at April 27, 2026 08:19 PM (FIwBs)

107 I can't wait to watch presstitutes make faces like they're sucking lemons when they have to call them NICE agents.

Posted by: Delurker at April 27, 2026 08:20 PM (gtcuf)

108 Seemed to be mocking Christians the way I read his BS manifesto

Posted by: Skip at April 27, 2026 08:21 PM (Ia/+0)

109 I better get to bed
Everyone have a good night

Posted by: Skip at April 27, 2026 08:21 PM (Ia/+0)

110 Life 's two most important rules
Follow the money
It's not what they say but what they do

Posted by: Bob Ben Had at April 27, 2026 08:22 PM (Cif43)

111 Flea-sy Rider.

-
That dog is riding bitch.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Fat, Dumb, and Happy at April 27, 2026 08:22 PM (ndZc7)

112 National Institute for Co-ordinated Experiments (N.I.C.E.), which is a front for sinister supernatural forces.

Posted by: From C.S. Lewis' That Hideous Strength at April 27, 2026 08:23 PM (2Ez/1)

113 Screwcaps >>> artificial wine corks >> natural wine corks

There's absolutely nothing wrong with screw caps and the wine industry would love to use them across the board but they trapped themselves decades ago by intentionally associating real cork with high quality and now they're stuck with it.

Posted by: Oddbob at April 27, 2026 08:24 PM (vTZFs)

114
I need a T-shirt emblazoned with "SPLAT!!!", then.
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere

Sounds like Don Martin

https://t.ly/rnJOA

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at April 27, 2026 08:25 PM (Cqx++)

115 You know, Wolfus.

Sometimes we don’t ever find perfect. Amd sometimes we spend more money than we should to live in a place that feels right.

If the place you can afford annoys you, it’s not worth it.

I love where I live. My rent just went up, again. You don’t want to know what I pay, it’s far more than your mortgage will be. But I love the beach. My neighbors are pretty cool, even when they see me loading rifles into the back of the lesburu. My quality of life is pretty high.

And my son #1 is taking me to the Mariners game on Saturday! It will be super fun.

Posted by: nurse ratched at April 27, 2026 08:25 PM (Wat4c)

116 So that dork calls himself "Coldforce?" LOL, what a fag.

And that photo is hilarious. It looks like someone at the Secret Service ordered their Chipotle with extra dick.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 27, 2026 08:26 PM (BI5O2)

117 Oddbob, tried your suggestion. Didn't work.

Posted by: Bob Ben Had at April 27, 2026 08:26 PM (Cif43)

118 117 Oddbob, tried your suggestion. Didn't work.
Posted by: Bob Ben Had at April 27, 2026 08:26 PM

++++++

Still here, boss.

Posted by: Bigger hammer at April 27, 2026 08:27 PM (2Ez/1)

119 Ben Had, can you replace your nic with anything? Try just BenHad, no space.

Posted by: fd at April 27, 2026 08:28 PM (vFG9F)

120 Oddbob, tried your suggestion. Didn't work.

Bummer. Guess you're gonna have to burn your computer. More seriously, I can't imagine what is causing that value to persist.

Posted by: Oddbob at April 27, 2026 08:28 PM (vTZFs)

121 That costs extra.

Posted by: The manager of your local Chipotle at April 27, 2026 08:29 PM (2Ez/1)

122 Box wine plastic pull tab for the win.
Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at April 27, 2026 08:17 PM (kxLc1)

Hell, yeah.

Posted by: Dash my lace wigs! at April 27, 2026 08:29 PM (zYpTz)

123 Ben Had, can you try using a different browser?

Posted by: Duncanthrax at April 27, 2026 08:29 PM (0sNs1)

124 I don't know what that means

I blame Johnson and this damn war

Posted by: Don Black at April 27, 2026 08:30 PM (ZxPkt)

125 Someone here last night suggested that JS's fuel may actually be E15 being passed off as E10. When I get home I'll write to the Kansas Weights & Measures Dept. about it and see if they will investigate.
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at April 27, 2026

***
I've written to the Weights and Measures office within the Kansas Department of Agriculture. It'll be interesting to see what happens, though I expect little.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at April 27, 2026 08:31 PM (TLAG7)

126 I thought Portugal was made out of cork.
Posted by: Bob Ben Had at April 27, 2026 07:44 PM (Cif43)

Except for the parts that are made of tripe, rust, olive trees, and the bones of the Earth, you would be correct

Posted by: Kindltot at April 27, 2026 08:31 PM (rbvCR)

127 . . . and sat quietly with the box of crackers in my hand. Sure enough, Mister Fly comes and settles on the gravy. Wham! Wham! with the box. "Got you, you little bastard!"

Heh, heh, heh . . .
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius

----------
Did you take the crackers out of the box first?
Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at April 27, 2026

***
Hell no. I wanted some heft to my weapon!

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at April 27, 2026 08:32 PM (TLAG7)

128 There's absolutely nothing wrong with screw caps and the wine industry would love to use them across the board but they trapped themselves decades ago by intentionally associating real cork with high quality and now they're stuck with it.
Posted by: Oddbob at April 27, 2026 08:24 PM (vTZFs)

Concur. And again, I have no problem with a spigot on a box.

Posted by: Dash my lace wigs! at April 27, 2026 08:32 PM (zYpTz)

129 Low expectations are the key to satisfaction.

Posted by: Quarter Twenty at April 27, 2026 08:32 PM (2Ez/1)

130 When we made the move from MI to IN, we left a house that we had spent 36 years making really nice. And we were happy with what we got for it, but the market here was tighter than there, and that money got us a house that isn't as nice. Or well built. And had not been cared for. But, it was what we could get and we are happy to have it. Because for us, it wasn't the house or the state location, it was the move to where our grandchildren are. Do I wish for a nicer house? Sometimes. But it has become home. My point is, if you are unhappy where you are, maybe you won't be able to get your dream home, but you can get a house of your own in a place you want to live. And whether you are happy there, or not, is up to you.

Posted by: TecumsehTea at April 27, 2026 08:33 PM (nz1sK)

131 Ben Had--- follow these steps, without refreshing in between:

--Go to comment box and delete the "Bob" part
--Write a comment
--click 'post'

Posted by: JQ at April 27, 2026 08:34 PM (rdVOm)

132 So, tomorrow will be one month smoke free. I have decided that tonight is my last nicotine pouch. If you read about great violence breaking out in Missouri, that’d be me.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 27, 2026 08:35 PM (u73oe)

133 108 Seemed to be mocking Christians the way I read his BS manifesto
Posted by: Skip at April 27, 2026 08:21 PM (Ia/+0)

That's hardly a manifesto. More like a pile of whines.

Posted by: tcn in AK at April 27, 2026 08:35 PM (DwqWV)

134 I like that ICE designation
Posted by: Skip at April 27, 2026 08:02 PM (Ia/+0)

Better than "Deputy Dan" or "Officer Friendly"

Posted by: Kindltot at April 27, 2026 08:35 PM (rbvCR)

135 Elliot Page is reportedly narrating a new documentary sponsored, by Big Penguin, examining same-sex interactions and so-called “gender fluidity” within the animal world. The transgender actor says she hopes the film exploring gay animal sex, Second Nature, will make queer kids feel less alone and more receptive to polymorphic perverse propaganda.

Posted by: Penguin Facts at April 27, 2026 08:35 PM (vFG9F)

136 132 So, tomorrow will be one month smoke free. I have decided that tonight is my last nicotine pouch. If you read about great violence breaking out in Missouri, that’d be me.
Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 27, 2026 08:35 PM (u73oe)

Should probably keep one or two around in case you get stabby.

Posted by: tcn in AK at April 27, 2026 08:35 PM (DwqWV)

137 That's hardly a manifesto. More like a pile of whines.
Posted by: tcn in AK at April 27, 2026 08:35 PM (DwqWV)

A bullet list of poorly understood talking points defended by hysterical feelz
Screw him for the mid-wit violence junky he is.

Posted by: Kindltot at April 27, 2026 08:37 PM (rbvCR)

138 Should probably keep one or two around in case you get stabby.
Posted by: tcn in AK at April 27, 2026 08:35 PM (DwqWV)

———————

One or two knives? Good idea!

Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 27, 2026 08:37 PM (u73oe)

139 Nice, baby, nice!
- Christian rap

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Fat, Dumb, and Happy at April 27, 2026 08:37 PM (ndZc7)

140 You know, Wolfus.

Sometimes we don’t ever find perfect. Amd sometimes we spend more money than we should to live in a place that feels right.

If the place you can afford annoys you, it’s not worth it. . . .

Posted by: nurse ratched at April 27, 2026

***
Exactly, nurse. I just have a spending limit for my shelter -- an old rule, but still a good one: "Don't spend more than 25% of your monthly *take-home* pay for your shelter." So I want to come in there or less. I suppose if the exact perfect house came along, and it would run me 27 or 28%, I'd do it.

(On the plus side, KS and IN both would save me 2/3 on my car insurance. So I could consider that in my quest for my new home.)

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at April 27, 2026 08:37 PM (TLAG7)

141 So, tomorrow will be one month smoke free. I have decided that tonight is my last nicotine pouch. If you read about great violence breaking out in Missouri, that’d be me.
Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 27, 2026 08:35 PM (u73oe)
----
We can just blame it on a tornado. It's that time of year.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at April 27, 2026 08:37 PM (gnNyN)

142 One or two knives? Good idea!
Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 27, 2026 08:37 PM (u73oe)

Well, just the good ones. You can get rid of the other ones.

Posted by: tcn in AK at April 27, 2026 08:39 PM (DwqWV)

143 My point is, if you are unhappy where you are, maybe you won't be able to get your dream home, but you can get a house of your own in a place you want to live. And whether you are happy there, or not, is up to you.
Posted by: TecumsehTea at April 27, 2026

***
A house of my own in a place I want to live *would* be my dream home.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at April 27, 2026 08:39 PM (TLAG7)

144 So, tomorrow will be one month smoke free. I have decided that tonight is my last nicotine pouch. If you read about great violence breaking out in Missouri, that’d be me.
Posted by: Duke Lowell

Should probably keep one or two around in case you get stabby.
Posted by: tcn in AK
---------

Congrats, Duke! I made it 7 weeks before 'cheating' with a few smokes... back on the wagon now.

Definitely keep *some form of nicotine* as back-up! Don't want to go all Hulk.. SMASH! if you can avoid it, LOL.

Posted by: JQ at April 27, 2026 08:40 PM (rdVOm)

145 Doing what JQ suggested.

Posted by: Ben Had at April 27, 2026 08:40 PM (Cif43)

146 Yes, officer, it was a tornado.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 27, 2026 08:40 PM (u73oe)

147 need a T-shirt emblazoned with "SPLAT!!!", then.
Posted by: Wolfus

quick search revealed...

Disney (?) Splat t-shirt from Target
https://bit.ly/splat-01

Splat! T-shirt - kajmerch.com (mosquito, not fly, tho)
https://bit.ly/splat-02

Posted by: mindful webworker - hit my tip jar at April 27, 2026 08:40 PM (y3Pql)

148 I could have stepped outside the hotel for a pipe this evening. It was too humid and warm out there. Gah.

I'll wait until I get home tomorrow. Or maybe I'll have a bowl at the pipe shop in Jackson!

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at April 27, 2026 08:41 PM (TLAG7)

149 JQ , lady I owe you a bottle of your choice. Thank You.

Posted by: Ben Had at April 27, 2026 08:41 PM (Cif43)

150 modern filter cigarettes have those dappled tan and white spotted paper coverings over the filter for aesthetics and a bit of corky nostalgia
Posted by: Don Black

Corky Nostalgia sounds like a MILF stripper name. Probably got a Flashdance / early-Madonna look going on before she takes it off.

Posted by: mikeski at April 27, 2026 08:41 PM (VHUov)

151 Yay, Ben Had! It worked!

Posted by: JQ at April 27, 2026 08:41 PM (rdVOm)

152 Exactly, nurse. I just have a spending limit for my shelter -- an old rule, but still a good one: "Don't spend more than 25% of your monthly *take-home* pay for your shelter." So I want to come in there or less. I suppose if the exact perfect house came along, and it would run me 27 or 28%, I'd do it.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at April 27, 2026 08:37 PM (TLAG7)
----
That's more or less the same rule I followed when I purchased my home. The mortgage is about what I was paying for a rental for about the same amount of space. Plus I can pay extra on my mortgage and reduce the interest payments. Now I'm well on the downside to completely owning my home free and clear. I can hardly wait!

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at April 27, 2026 08:42 PM (gnNyN)

153 I'll admit to some confusion about the Coldforce thing. What the hell is that about? I'm sure it's something really lame.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 27, 2026 08:42 PM (BI5O2)

154 JQ , lady I owe you a bottle of your choice. Thank You.
Posted by: Ben Had

Ben Had got a bob cut!

Posted by: mikeski at April 27, 2026 08:42 PM (VHUov)

155 141 So, tomorrow will be one month smoke free. I have decided that tonight is my last nicotine pouch. If you read about great violence breaking out in Missouri, that’d be me.
Posted by: Duke Lowell
--

Good show, you'll be fine.
I used the gum. Carried packets of gum in my billfold for two years...just in case.
(I wasn't going back)

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at April 27, 2026 08:44 PM (Puq9y)

156 The manifesto sounds like a show outline from an MSNOW panel.

Posted by: This is where we are now at April 27, 2026 08:44 PM (TbWk/)

157 . . . "Don't spend more than 25% of your monthly *take-home* pay for your shelter." So I want to come in there or less. . . .

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at April 27, 2026
----
That's more or less the same rule I followed when I purchased my home. The mortgage is about what I was paying for a rental for about the same amount of space. Plus I can pay extra on my mortgage and reduce the interest payments. Now I'm well on the downside to completely owning my home free and clear. I can hardly wait!
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at April 27, 2026

***
The realtors all want you to consider going to as much as 33% of your *net* pay. "You can afford it!" That's insane. You don't see your net pay, taxes are taken out of it before you get it, so you can't spend it. And one-third of even your take-home spent on shelter is nuts.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at April 27, 2026 08:45 PM (TLAG7)

158 Life 's two most important rules
Follow the money
It's not what they say but what they do
Posted by: Bob Ben Had

I thought rule #1 was don't stick it in crazy. Just for guys?*

Where does "what you are looking for is never where you think it's going to be" come in?

Posted by: mindful webworker - *gals, don't let crazy stick it in at April 27, 2026 08:45 PM (y3Pql)

159 The realtors all want you to consider going to as much as 33% of your *net* pay. "You can afford it!" That's insane. You don't see your net pay, taxes are taken out of it before you get it, so you can't spend it. And one-third of even your take-home spent on shelter is nuts.
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at April 27, 2026 08:45 PM (TLAG7)
----
I know--you're always going to have other bills to pay (food, utilities, incidentals...). I like to have a comfortable cushion against that.

I took a major pay cut last year, but somehow I'm still able to live within my means with a little bit of extra.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at April 27, 2026 08:46 PM (gnNyN)

160 Wolfus, buying a home is essentially leaving an estate. Do have plan in place to divest that asset.

Posted by: Ben Had at April 27, 2026 08:47 PM (Cif43)

161 The shooting and killing of a cop in a hospital in Chicago is crazy. The shooter was brought into the hospital after being arrested for robbery. I assume he was 'injured' during the arrest. When he was brought into the room for a CT Scan he pulled out a 10mm handgun from under his blanket and shot and killed one cop and wounded another. How in the hell was he able to conceal a 10mm handgun all that time.

Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at April 27, 2026 08:47 PM (kxLc1)

162 Wolfus, buying a home is essentially leaving an estate. Do have plan in place to divest that asset.
Posted by: Ben Had at April 27, 2026

***
Not sure yet, as I've never bought a home before.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at April 27, 2026 08:49 PM (TLAG7)

163 I just have a spending limit for my shelter -- an old rule, but still a good one: "Don't spend more than 25% of your monthly *take-home* pay for your shelter." So I want to come in there or less. I suppose if the exact perfect house came along, and it would run me 27 or 28%, I'd do it.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere
---

You my dear sir are vagabond, a transient, a traveler. What you need is a nice travel trailer so that you may follow your whims; for all the varieties of weather, scenery, and culture that suits your fancy at the moment.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at April 27, 2026 08:49 PM (Puq9y)

164 I'll admit to some confusion about the Coldforce thing. What the hell is that about? I'm sure it's something really lame.
Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 27, 2026 08:42 PM (BI5O2)

It probably is not referring to Manal's song, Jugo de Tomate Frio, but it would be nice if someone remembered it

Si querés triunfar con las mujeres
Tener muchas que lloren por vos
Tendrás que ser un poco inteligente
Tener dinero y buena voz

Jugo de tomate frío
Jugo de tomate frío
En las venas
En las venas deberás tener

youtu.be/2P74W127v4Y

Posted by: Kindltot at April 27, 2026 08:50 PM (rbvCR)

165 Life 's two most important rules
Follow the money
It's not what they say but what they do
Posted by: Bob Ben Had

I thought rule #1 was don't stick it in crazy.
Posted by: mindful webworker

Well, rule #1 should be "don't talk about....."

But if you're following rule #1, you have to say rule #1 is something else, so good on ya.

Posted by: mikeski at April 27, 2026 08:50 PM (VHUov)

166 >>>A house of my own in a place I want to live *would* be my dream home.

I'm glad to hear that. You have to know that a lot of us out here are rooting for you, and wanting you to find the spot that will make you feel like you belong, and where you will be content. Life is short, eat the cheesecake as our Teresa says. Or buy the house. Or take a trip.

Posted by: TecumsehTea at April 27, 2026 08:51 PM (nz1sK)

167 159 The realtors all want you to consider going to as much as 33% of your *net*
---

Of course, the more you pay the more you collect.
Few realtors are there to help you.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at April 27, 2026 08:52 PM (Puq9y)

168 About 2 days after I quit cold turkey, I got chills on my skin. I went on the hardest run of my life and never had another craving.

Posted by: Accomack at April 27, 2026 08:53 PM (8jVAy)

169 Where does "what you are looking for is never where you think it's going to be" come in?
Posted by: mindful webworker - *gals, don't let crazy stick it in at April 27, 2026 08:45 PM (y3Pql)

Me looking for my glasses, probably. AND my shoes. I mean, I put a cup of coffee down and then spend 5 minutes looking for it.

Posted by: Kindltot at April 27, 2026 08:53 PM (rbvCR)

170 164 I'll admit to some confusion about the Coldforce thing.
--

Thought it was a NASDAQ stock.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at April 27, 2026 08:54 PM (Puq9y)

171 Wolfus, you mentioned a financial planner. It would be a good idea to talk about this with them before you commit to anything. You are a single guy with no family. You really need a plan

Posted by: Ben Had at April 27, 2026 08:55 PM (Cif43)

172 What do y’all think of NTD News. Or The Epoch Times?

Posted by: nurse ratched at April 27, 2026 08:56 PM (22tYi)

173 Good evening, cafe friends!

Posted by: Piper at April 27, 2026 08:56 PM (Dd38x)

174 Against my nature, Wolfus, I'll endorse indiana. Low cost of living, solid Midwest folks.

I rag on indiana, but it's really only the yutes that decide "no day at the michigan beach is complete unless you empty your pistol the loud way."

Posted by: 2009Refugee at April 27, 2026 08:56 PM (gpQ8/)

175 This is not my idea of fun.

Oh FUCK no. And I'm not even claustrophobic.
Posted by: Thin line between brave and stupid

Dude can't see the line from where he's at.

And isn't he supposed to wear a go-pro and stream that s--t?

Posted by: mikeski at April 27, 2026 08:57 PM (VHUov)

176 nurse, Epoch Times has had some solid reporting.

Posted by: Ben Had at April 27, 2026 08:57 PM (Cif43)

177 Just saw a photo of the Trumps welcoming King Tampon I and his consort to The White House.

Haven't seen any images of him since his marriage to Di.

Man, dude got bloody fat!

Posted by: ShainS at April 27, 2026 08:58 PM (VdTX+)

178 Wolfus, you mentioned a financial planner. It would be a good idea to talk about this with them before you commit to anything. You are a single guy with no family. You really need a plan

-------

Bring home a wretched urchin and employ it as a servant. Then leave the house to the urchin as payment for being a loyal bootlick.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 27, 2026 08:58 PM (BI5O2)

179 If you live in the PNW, there's a good chance you'll spend more than 25% of your pay on housing unless you want to live in a former meth lab in the worst neighborhood in town.

Posted by: PabloD at April 27, 2026 08:59 PM (VXmaX)

180 And that photo is hilarious. It looks like someone at the Secret Service ordered their Chipotle with extra dick.
Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 27, 2026 08:26 PM (BI5O2)

Nice. *golfclap*

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at April 27, 2026 08:59 PM (zZu0s)

181 > Not sure yet, as I've never bought a home before.
---------
If you find a property you want to buy, hire an inspector to look at it. It'll cost hundreds to have someone reputable check it out. Things that need fixing, like plumbing, electrical or (God forbid) structural can be negotiated into the price. Assuming the place is what you want.

We purchased a modular on 5 acres that "needed work." The land was what was valuable. IIRC we paid in the low $40K.

It's valued now at 1/4 $million.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at April 27, 2026 09:01 PM (jehhT)

182
Good lord, can't some showbiz orthodontist stick a plug or something in Sean Hannity's mouth so he doesn't whistle like a tea kettle?

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at April 27, 2026 09:01 PM (n7rxJ)

183 PabloD,
I’m closer to 40%.

My kids both make more than I do. They don’t need an inheritance. I never got one.

I know I will always have to work. That’s ok.

I love where I live.

Posted by: nurse ratched at April 27, 2026 09:02 PM (22tYi)

184 Where can one procure a wretched urchin? Is there a discount on two?

Posted by: fd at April 27, 2026 09:02 PM (vFG9F)

185 Good lord, can't some showbiz orthodontist stick a plug or something in Sean Hannity's mouth

-------

Huh? I thought that's what our brave men of the FBI were for.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 27, 2026 09:03 PM (BI5O2)

186 Bring home a wretched urchin and employ it as a servant. Then leave the house to the urchin as payment for being a loyal bootlick.
Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 27, 2026 08:58 PM (BI5O2)
----
Make sure to dole out the inheritance over the span of decades a pittance at a time...

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at April 27, 2026 09:04 PM (gnNyN)

187 Where can one procure a wretched urchin? Is there a discount on two?
Posted by: fd

Aren't they free at the local orphanage run by the Sisters of Perpetual Gruel? Kind of like kittens?

Posted by: mikeski at April 27, 2026 09:04 PM (VHUov)

188 Where can one procure a wretched urchin? Is there a discount on two?
Posted by: fd at April 27, 2026 09:02 PM (vFG9F)
----
Is Honest Bender's Discount Orphans still open?

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at April 27, 2026 09:04 PM (gnNyN)

189 Duke Lowell,
I salute you. You've done the hardest part. I gave up smoking so long ago that my doctor says there's no reason to mention it on medical questionnaires anymore, but if I ever played bridge again, I'm sure I would still crave it.

Posted by: Wenda at April 27, 2026 09:05 PM (KAiYa)

190 nurse, I have ways said my retirement and obituary will be posted on the same day.

Posted by: Ben Had at April 27, 2026 09:07 PM (Cif43)

191 I salute you. You've done the hardest part. I gave up smoking so long ago that my doctor says there's no reason to mention it on medical questionnaires anymore, but if I ever played bridge again, I'm sure I would still crave it.
Posted by: Wenda at April 27, 2026 09:05 PM (KAiYa)

You mean it doesn't stick to you forever like that demerit in 2nd grade in your permanent record, or some sort of cardinal sin?

Posted by: Kindltot at April 27, 2026 09:08 PM (rbvCR)

192 Our mortgage nearly doubled when we bought a new place 2 years ago. But we really needed to unload the old place. I will never buy an old (ie nearly 100 year old) house again.

Posted by: PabloD at April 27, 2026 09:08 PM (VXmaX)

193 When you get a wretched urchin, get the Best - don't settle for the rest.

Posted by: Best Prizorniki at April 27, 2026 09:10 PM (BI5O2)

194 It's almost never the "house."

It's almost always the "property."

Posted by: Martini Farmer at April 27, 2026 09:11 PM (jehhT)

195 Kindltot,
It's well over thirty years now. Perhaps that's the cutoff.

Posted by: Wenda at April 27, 2026 09:11 PM (KAiYa)

196 Cigarettes and whiskey and wild wild women.

Posted by: Well one out of 3 ain't bad at April 27, 2026 09:13 PM (TbWk/)

197 Martini Farmer, so true. When one of my aunts died some one bought her house for 800,000 just to year it down and rebuild on the lot.

Posted by: Ben Had at April 27, 2026 09:14 PM (Cif43)

198 Cole Allen was some kind of indie game developer in addition to his tutoring job.
I believe ‘Coldforce’ was his gamer/social media nick which then became his game company name.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at April 27, 2026 09:14 PM (6ydKt)

199
I've had to move all too often. The key to financial security: never move.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at April 27, 2026 09:14 PM (k6bR3)

200 I believe ‘Coldforce’ was his gamer/social media nick which then became his game company name.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at April 27, 2026 09:14 PM (6ydKt)
----
Sounds like a spell from the next edition of D&D.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at April 27, 2026 09:16 PM (gnNyN)

201
Whoa! Were I to have awakened to the sight at the beginning of that last video, I'd have sworn off drinking ever again.

Posted by: Krebs 'v' Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) Imprison! Imprison! Imprison! at April 27, 2026 09:16 PM (xG4kz)

202 The next move I make I won't be getting any mail.

Posted by: Ben Had at April 27, 2026 09:17 PM (Cif43)

203 JQ , lady I owe you a bottle of your choice. Thank You.
Posted by: Ben Had

Ben Had got a bob cut!
Posted by: mikeski at April 27, 2026 08:42 PM

I could have used a kitchen table like Ben Had's for my bob it.

Posted by: Mrs. John Wayne Bobbitt at April 27, 2026 09:19 PM (0sNs1)

204 believe ‘Coldforce’ was his gamer/social media nick which then became his game company name.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at April 27, 2026 09:14 PM (6ydKt)

Classic imcel behavior.

Posted by: Archer at April 27, 2026 09:19 PM (wvc0i)

205 Oh, I bet Coldforce gaymes are thrilling... I can't wait to experience the action in "NPR Listener 7" and "Trader Joe's II: Unfair Trade."

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 27, 2026 09:20 PM (BI5O2)

206 Incel

Posted by: Archer at April 27, 2026 09:20 PM (wvc0i)

207 I love where I live.
Posted by: nurse ratched

This is important, I love it for you even if wish you were closer to me. 😊. I am taking my dog on his last walk, I wish we had more of a yard for him. But then I realize I can be out here in the dark and safe, the houses around me are so cute. I am staring at the lights of Mobile across the bay. I have oak trees and Spanish moss. I love it here too. It feels like home, you know?

Posted by: Piper at April 27, 2026 09:20 PM (Hsed0)

208 Sounds like a spell from the next edition of D&D.
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at April 27, 2026 09:16 PM (gnNyN)

He seems to like first person shooters.

Somebody should make a Coldforce game where the player starts out fully loaded and fully clothed but by the end of the first level they’re out of energy, stamina, and lying on the carpet face first, naked, and wrapped up like a baked potato.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at April 27, 2026 09:22 PM (6ydKt)

209 The shooting and killing of a cop in a hospital in Chicago is crazy.…
Posted by: Harry Vandenburg

Yes.

…38-year-old male officer with 10 years on the police force was killed and a 57-year-old, 21-year veteran was fighting for his life …the gunman somehow secured a firearm… Endeavor Health, which operates the hospital, said on X that the suspect “was wanded [with a metal detector] upon arrival” per the hospital’s “public safety weapon detection protocols.” The company also said he “was escorted by law enforcement at all times.”.

Something went very wrong.
CWB Chicago
https://bit.ly/4cOvDa3

Posted by: mindful webworker - unacceptably lax at April 27, 2026 09:22 PM (y3Pql)

210 I am taking my dog on his last walk, I wish we had more of a yard for him.

------

Have you considered a shelter? It seems like having a small yard is no reason to kill the poor thing.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 27, 2026 09:22 PM (BI5O2)

211 47 27 Who was recording the video of the dog on the skateboard?
Maaaaayyyybbbbeeee a drone?
Most likely our friend AI?
Posted by: I gotta ask at April 27, 2026 07:40 PM (2Ez/1)

I am assuming it’s the dog’s owner, on another skateboard, wearing a Go-Pro.
Posted by: SpeakingOf at April 27, 2026 07:48 PM (6ydKt)

That would make the most sense. Both why the dog kept sneaking glances back, and then at the end when the camera shot ahead, why he turned around on the board -- because his owner did (to look back and record the dog now behind him), so it was a sympathetic move, like dancing.

Posted by: SciVo at April 27, 2026 09:22 PM (Sy6m/)

212 Have you considered a shelter? It seems like having a small yard is no reason to kill the poor thing.
Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 27, 2026 09:22 PM (BI5O2)

Ha! Last walkies for the night. You are talking to someone who has their horse in a retirement home for horsies. I am a crazy animal person!

Posted by: Piper at April 27, 2026 09:26 PM (Hsed0)

213 Somebody should make a Coldforce game where the player starts out fully loaded and fully clothed but by the end of the first level they’re out of energy, stamina, and lying on the carpet face first, naked, and wrapped up like a baked potato.
Posted by: SpeakingOf at April 27, 2026 09:22 PM (6ydKt)
-----
I've played a few first-person shooters that do a "reset" about 2/3 of the way through the game, taking away all your fun toys and leaving you barely armed, if at all. I hate those because it feels like all your previous efforts in becoming death incarnate was for nothing.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at April 27, 2026 09:26 PM (gnNyN)

214 So at work they are relocating everyone in my area to a new place in another part of the facility. They are doing it in phases. The last group they moved took all the f'ing coffee. I bought more. Then I noticed the whole danged coffee machine was missing this afternoon with a message saying oh we didn't like the coffee machine at the new place so now we took your only coffee machine with us too now. I'm going to be here for a month more before I move.

2 things: 1) those mfers! 2) people aren't going crazy about this. I checked and there's only two of us left in the remaining 2-3 dozen crew that drink coffee from the pot. Some do those single serve pod things in the other machine, which the coffee thieves did not take, and a whole lot just don't drink coffee at all. I've drank coffee brewed in an industrial/commercial bunn steel behemoth with the round pots for most of my adult life.

I feel like the moment in an alien invasion movie when you realize everyone around you is a pod person.

Posted by: banana Dream - Is it because I'm old? at April 27, 2026 09:29 PM (3uBP9)

215 I've played a few first-person shooters that do a "reset" about 2/3 of the way through the game, taking away all your fun toys and leaving you barely armed, if at all. I hate those because it feels like all your previous efforts in becoming death incarnate was for nothing.
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel

I assume that means "we had 2/3 of a good game, then got bored and made 1/3 of the sequel, and then we thought....."

Posted by: mikeski at April 27, 2026 09:29 PM (VHUov)

216 3 Train station in Porto, Portugal

Looks like a horror movie set. Train II: The Trackening.
Posted by: Delurker
..................................
youtu.be/C6M2oiG2340

Song probably has nothing to do with Porto, Portugal.

Posted by: Puddleglum, cheer up for the worst is yet to come at April 27, 2026 09:29 PM (sAmhv)

217 A house of my own in a place I want to live *would* be my dream home.
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at April 27, 2026 08:39 PM (TLAG7)

Take your time. Not everything is on the market just yet.

We put down earnest money on a house and the very next day saw a new listing for where we live now. Lost the earnest money, but we love our place. So, don't settle. Get what you want. It will be out there somewhere.

Posted by: tcn in AK at April 27, 2026 09:31 PM (DwqWV)

218 216: Come to think of it, Portobello is a street name in London.

Posted by: Puddleglum, cheer up for the worst is yet to come at April 27, 2026 09:32 PM (sAmhv)

219 >>> He seems to like first person shooters.

Somebody should make a Coldforce game where the player starts out fully loaded and fully clothed but by the end of the first level they’re out of energy, stamina, and lying on the carpet face first, naked, and wrapped up like a baked potato.
Posted by: SpeakingOf at April 27, 2026 09:22 PM (6ydKt)

Gloomhaven is basically that. Also just carrying around the box is exhausting.

Posted by: banana Dream at April 27, 2026 09:33 PM (3uBP9)

220 Big bird feeding baby bird is obviously a DAD bird.
"Whadda ya mean she's too young for a double whopper?"

Posted by: GWB at April 27, 2026 09:34 PM (fK5DA)

221 Against my nature, Wolfus, I'll endorse indiana. Low cost of living, solid Midwest folks.

I rag on indiana, but it's really only the yutes that decide "no day at the michigan beach is complete unless you empty your pistol the loud way."
Posted by: 2009Refugee at April 27, 2026

***
I'm thinking of the southern part of the state, not up near the big lake!

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at April 27, 2026 09:34 PM (TLAG7)

222 Southern Indiana is great. I grew up there.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at April 27, 2026 09:35 PM (zZu0s)

223 That would make the most sense. Both why the dog kept sneaking glances back, and then at the end when the camera shot ahead, why he turned around on the board -- because his owner did (to look back and record the dog now behind him), so it was a sympathetic move, like dancing.
Posted by: SciVo at April 27, 2026 09:22 PM (Sy6m/)

I’ve seen other vids of dogs skateboarding like this one. It’s got to be a tough training job to get a dog to ride a skateboard. That much work together would make it a bonding experience and after a while the dog would be waiting to go skateboarding with their master like a normal dog wants to go for a walk.

I guess it could still be AI, but I’ve seen trained dogs do some crazier stuff than this.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at April 27, 2026 09:36 PM (6ydKt)

224 Wolfus, have you looked at northern New Mexico ?

Posted by: Ben Had at April 27, 2026 09:36 PM (Cif43)

225
Her Majesty and The Big Dummy are home after a long, miserable drive. I'm happy they're here at last. She had some of the lamb and veggies I made and is just going to zombie this evening.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at April 27, 2026 09:37 PM (k6bR3)

226 Watching Bluey. Shut up I don’t want to hear it.

Posted by: Eromero at April 27, 2026 09:38 PM (LHPAg)

227 Wolfus, have you looked at northern New Mexico ?
Posted by: Ben Had at April 27, 2026

***
That was my first dream, Ben -- way back in '92, after my first visit to ABQ and Santa Fe. Places were probably pricey then. Now, probably stratospheric.

Alteria Pilgram (formerly Lost in Space) lives in the very southern part of NM, and touts it as a good place to live.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at April 27, 2026 09:39 PM (TLAG7)

228 Early access VIP ONT is open. Show your wrist bands to enter.

Posted by: Piper at April 27, 2026 09:41 PM (ZdaMQ)

229 Southern Indiana is great. I grew up there.
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at April 27, 2026

***
I liked a lot of things about Evansville. Terre Haute is smaller, and I'm thinking it might suit me even better. If I had any sense, I'd have driven straight across from eastern Kansas to TH today and be planning to look around the town tomorrow. But I need to get back to Da Swamp to look after some things, i.e., cats.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at April 27, 2026 09:41 PM (TLAG7)

230 Has anyone pointed out that last Saturday, the day of the WHCD when there was an assassination attempt, was World Pinguin Day, April 25th.

Posted by: banana Dream at April 27, 2026 09:41 PM (3uBP9)

231 230 Has anyone pointed out that last Saturday, the day of the WHCD when there was an assassination attempt, was World Pinguin Day, April 25th.
Posted by: banana Dream at April 27, 2026

***
A pinguinal hernia is a bitch to deal with!

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at April 27, 2026 09:44 PM (TLAG7)

232 For those of us in the wretched state of California, land of mostly-blessed weather, we still have Proposition 13 (Yang holy words).

Posted by: Dark Litigator at April 27, 2026 09:45 PM (W5mpo)

233 > Somebody should make a Coldforce game where the player starts out fully loaded and fully clothed but by the end of the first level they’re out of energy, stamina, and lying on the carpet face first, naked, and wrapped up like a baked potato.
--------
A gay baked potato. According to the stylebook.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at April 27, 2026 09:50 PM (jehhT)

234 After this Summer/Fall's northward expansion, every day will be World Penguin Day!

Ever Onward!
Ever Upward!
Excelsior!

Posted by: Merry Marching Penguin Majority. at April 27, 2026 09:50 PM (oftw2)

235 Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at April 27, 2026 09:41 PM (TLAG7)

Bloomington used to be amazing, but it is fucking nutsville now. Did you check Seymour or New Albany? I can't recommend Bedford because even though a lot of family are from there, it feels like the middle of nowhere.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at April 27, 2026 09:50 PM (zZu0s)

236 Her Majesty and The Big Dummy are home...
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at April 27, 2026 09:3

Glad all is well there. Had to chuckle at first glance I thought you were talking about Camilla and Chuck. LOL

Posted by: Farmer, with his own historic take at April 27, 2026 10:00 PM (55Qr6)

237
Schmuckie Schmod told Chris Cillizza today that he won't go to any more events where PDJT is because "Trump doesn't care if you get hurt."

"Chaos follows him."

https://x.com/chriscillizza/status/2048798698176446756

Brave Sir Schmuckie!

Posted by: Krebs 'v' Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) Imprison! Imprison! Imprison! at April 27, 2026 10:07 PM (xG4kz)

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