First World Problems...

Apparently the demand for candy for trick-or-treaters drops off markedly beginning the late evening of October 31st.

Not that we got any...the trend in our town is for street parties and organized events, which is, I believe, a sure sign of the profound degradation of our culture.

But what to do with the leftover candy? I am far too cheap to discard it, but it isn't getting any better, especially since it was milk chocolate to begin with, which is a pale and sad simulacrum of the only chocolate that counts: dark chocolate!

Posted by: CBD at 02:00 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 1st

Posted by: Skip at April 19, 2026 02:01 PM (Ia/+0)

2 FIRST

Posted by: Gref at April 19, 2026 02:02 PM (5rh/l)

3 OK, SECOND

Posted by: Gref at April 19, 2026 02:02 PM (5rh/l)

4 Maybe lucky I don't have TorTers, don't buy it won't have to eat it

Posted by: Skip at April 19, 2026 02:03 PM (Ia/+0)

5 Break it into small pieces and drop one marble size piece into every cup of coffee. They'll be consumed by Halloween.

Posted by: Quarter Twenty at April 19, 2026 02:05 PM (2Ez/1)

6 Easy. Get an unmarked white van, drive by schools and give it to the kids. Stay safe and only go to no-gun zones.

By the way, dollar store $0.99 Can chocolate bars haven't been that bad. Kind of the perfect size and hits the spot.

Posted by: Stateless - He ain't heavy, he's my dog. Old, but full of life. at April 19, 2026 02:05 PM (Sco7b)

7
*squares shoulders manfully*

It would be a sacrifice, but I think I could choke it down.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at April 19, 2026 02:05 PM (tgvbd)

8 the only chocolate that counts: dark chocolate!

That's racist

Posted by: Commissar of plenty and festive little hats at April 19, 2026 02:06 PM (Kt19C)

9 With almonds. Yum. Almost as good as my go-to favorite, Snickers.

Posted by: M. Gaga at April 19, 2026 02:06 PM (KiBMU)

10 It's been misplaced and then found if it's reached this date.
Probably found while hiding post easter bargain purchases for later.

Posted by: From about That Time at April 19, 2026 02:07 PM (sl73Y)

11 break them up and make cookies quickly.

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at April 19, 2026 02:08 PM (YBtcQ)

12 My FWP occurred this morning when attempting to open a tin of cat food. The tab popped off in my hand before it could open the lid.

Thus, I immediately discarded all remaining tins of cat food as being defective.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at April 19, 2026 02:08 PM (gnNyN)

13 What you need to do is put those candy bars in your pants pockets and run them through the dryer.

... didn't read the content. Why do you ask?

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at April 19, 2026 02:08 PM (/lPRQ)

14 *Puts on hat*

Disposes of nasty dark chocolate in a quiet ditch.

Posted by: Perry the Platapus at April 19, 2026 02:09 PM (xcxpd)

15
pale and sad simulacrum of the only chocolate that counts: dark chocolate!

_________

Which is a darker simulacrum of the saddest chocolate: white chocolate. Which may not be chocolate at all.

Real men consume semi-sweet.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at April 19, 2026 02:09 PM (tgvbd)

16 My FWP occurred this morning when attempting to open a tin of cat food. The tab popped off in my hand before it could open the lid.

Thus, I immediately discarded all remaining tins of cat food as being defective.
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel

You could sell them on eBay to the Icebacks.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at April 19, 2026 02:10 PM (/lPRQ)

17 Real men consume semi-sweet.
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh

Straight from the chips bag.

Posted by: From about That Time at April 19, 2026 02:10 PM (sl73Y)

18 come on Morons, you know the answer is to burn the house down

Posted by: Admirale's Mate at April 19, 2026 02:12 PM (/enuJ)

19

Eight children 1 to 14 y/o killed in a domestic dispute in Shreveport Louisiana.

Posted by: four seasons at April 19, 2026 02:13 PM (3ek7K)

20 Which is a darker simulacrum of the saddest chocolate: white chocolate. Which may not be chocolate at all.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at April 19, 2026 02:09 PM (tgvbd)

White chocolate is a tool of the Devil to entice well-meaning and good people.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at April 19, 2026 02:13 PM (n9ltV)

21 My wife made up some Halloween treat bags for the grandkids. We still have some "fun size" Starburst. Like two candies in a package. Awful stuff.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at April 19, 2026 02:13 PM (AkEZC)

22 The quality of chocolate has become dis-favorable.

It's waxy and tastes like a brown-colored sugar. I like chocolate, I'm not a fan of sugar blocks.

Posted by: Rev. Wishbone at April 19, 2026 02:14 PM (Fbc0I)

23 Finally done tearing up all the Amazon boxes, have them bagged and ready to toss into the garbage. Gaia can burn after my dystopian Canadian Covid nightmare.

This helps me heal.

Lowers my chances of sex with Greta though. Oh, wait, I can just lie.

Posted by: Stateless - He ain't heavy, he's my dog. Old, but full of life. at April 19, 2026 02:14 PM (Sco7b)

24 four seasons wow, that is some H8 going on

Posted by: Skip at April 19, 2026 02:15 PM (Ia/+0)

25 We get so few that we just give out dark to them.

Posted by: Eeyore at April 19, 2026 02:15 PM (AlhUl)

26 First-world problem: are we wasting too much time watching hilarious AI-made pet prank videos?

My recommendation. Chihuahua wearing a horseshoe crab full-body suit, plus an assortment of full-head-cover masks, walks calmly up to cat, cat eating, distracted.

Cat sees the otherworldly beast, goes batshit crazy, bouncing off walls, knocking down stuff, including the flatscreen from the wall, which busts its screen.

Posted by: M. Gaga at April 19, 2026 02:16 PM (KiBMU)

27 CBD, this is an easy one, because I did it every Halloween when my kids were small. They got to eat what they chose that night, but then it all disappeared into the freezer.

Freeze, then chop in your food processor to crumbles. Use as ice cream topping. Voila!

Posted by: Wenda at April 19, 2026 02:16 PM (JwoD2)

28

Some days I think we are turning into a third world country.

Posted by: four seasons at April 19, 2026 02:17 PM (3ek7K)

29 Halloween in my previous hood in California almost never featured ToT thugs and thugettes. First Halloween in Florida had better traffic, so I was glad that I picked up some special edition Reeses - pretzels covered in peanut butter and chocolate. Been slowly consuming the last bag with my occasional second cup of coffee. Might be one or two left by now.

If it were me with those Hershey's, I'd be giving them a coarse chop before adding them to my brownie batter. Super easy, barely an inconvenience...

Posted by: Joe Kidd at April 19, 2026 02:19 PM (nbLIj)

30 Large chocolate covered coconut and fruit & nut Easter eggs from last year's basketscwrre recently found sitting inside a kitchen cabinet!

I can't locate a sell by date on either box so now they're sitting on a counter. 🙄

Posted by: L - No nic, another fine day at April 19, 2026 02:19 PM (NFX2v)

31
Melt the candy and incorporate it into an exciting dessert. Report it in the food thread.

Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at April 19, 2026 02:19 PM (t1fZA)

32 This is easy; pudding.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at April 19, 2026 02:20 PM (diia5)

33
I understand the chocolate in army rations was specially formulated not to taste good.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at April 19, 2026 02:20 PM (tgvbd)

34 FIRST!!!!!

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at April 19, 2026 02:22 PM (Zz0t1)

35 >>> Outrage in Italy: Nigerian Migrant Arrested After Killing and Cooking Cat on Makeshift BBQ Next to Children’s Playground

Send your old chocolate to Italy.
There are hungry Newcomers who could use it.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at April 19, 2026 02:22 PM (/lPRQ)

36 I understand the chocolate in army rations was specially formulated not to taste good.
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh

I concur. Tastes close to bakers chocolate but more gritty.

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at April 19, 2026 02:22 PM (YBtcQ)

37 Imagine my disappointment when reading "First World NOOD" and not finding a naked image of Sidney Sweeney.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at April 19, 2026 02:23 PM (Zz0t1)

38 Is that the old Hershey's or the new stuff that will likely kill you if ingested?

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at April 19, 2026 02:23 PM (Zz0t1)

39 I had hoped to cleanup on overstock Robin Eggs (malt balls) after Easter... None to be found.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at April 19, 2026 02:24 PM (/lPRQ)

40 Chocolate candy ingredients read scary.

Posted by: Eromero at April 19, 2026 02:25 PM (T6Tm2)

41 I concur. Tastes close to bakers chocolate but more gritty.
Posted by: AZ deplorable moron

It's the saltpeter that makes it gritty.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at April 19, 2026 02:25 PM (/lPRQ)

42
White chocolate is a tool of the Devil to entice well-meaning and good people.
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at April 19, 2026 02:13 PM (n9ltV)

It worked, didn't it?

- - - - - - Zombie Harry Reid

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at April 19, 2026 02:25 PM (Zz0t1)

43 Wenda has the answer, beat me to it. Also useful in blenderized whey shakes: vanilla flavored whey, Ice, 2-4 oz heavy cream. Blend on hight. Stir in the chocolate after so it isn’t blenderized. Eat with spoon 2 hours after workout or you’ll get cramps.

Posted by: epador at April 19, 2026 02:25 PM (uERcp)

44 >> Outrage in Italy: Nigerian Migrant Arrested After Killing and Cooking Cat on Makeshift BBQ Next to Children’s Playground

They're eats the dogs
They're eating the cats
They're eating the pets of the people who live there

whoa whoa whoa

Posted by: JackStraw at April 19, 2026 02:25 PM (viF8m)

45 hmm april 19th it is ?

Posted by: alpine_beer at April 19, 2026 02:26 PM (van9r)

46 Outrage in Italy: Nigerian Migrant Arrested After Killing and Cooking Cat on Makeshift BBQ Next to Children’s Playground

Send your old chocolate to Italy.
There are hungry Newcomers who could use it.
Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at April 19, 2026 02:22 PM (/lPRQ)

Well, they better give amnesty to their immigrants so they can get on the public dole and get free food so they don't have to cook and eat your pets.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at April 19, 2026 02:26 PM (Zz0t1)

47 I'm currently on the hunt for a donor car to rob parts from to fix the daughter's f*ck up........

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at April 19, 2026 02:27 PM (Zz0t1)

48
It's the saltpeter that makes it gritty.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at April 19, 2026 02:25 PM (/lPRQ)

Heh.

Posted by: Peter North at April 19, 2026 02:28 PM (Zz0t1)

49 39 I had hoped to cleanup on overstock Robin Eggs (malt balls) after Easter... None to be found.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at April 19, 2026 02:24 PM (/lPRQ)

One Easter, my late Mother and I managed to find mid-size LINDT chocolate Easter bunnies for $2 Can after Easter. We bought 25. They stayed great in the freezer for years.

I saw those same size bunnies for over $11 this year.

Posted by: Stateless - He ain't heavy, he's my dog. Old, but full of life. at April 19, 2026 02:29 PM (Sco7b)

50 Has no one heard of Chocolate Fondue?!
For goodness sake, melt it down, add plenty of dark chocolate, and scoop it up with your favorite fruit sections.
But only consume with Red Wine. Those are the rules.

Posted by: RI Red at April 19, 2026 02:29 PM (nZWpe)

51 BTW I use a Kauai source for my real chocolate. They do ship it in refrigerated box which even survives Mohave Desert Heat. Of course it is exorbitant but so is the bourbon or Bordeaux I consume it with.

Posted by: epador at April 19, 2026 02:29 PM (uERcp)

52 Dark chocolate lives matter!

Posted by: Tyrone the Hoodrat In His '98 Altima at April 19, 2026 02:31 PM (oftw2)

53 April 19th, the day the USS Iowa gun mount exploded. Not the Navy’s most shining moment.

Posted by: Eromero at April 19, 2026 02:31 PM (T6Tm2)

54 BTW I use a Kauai source for my real chocolate. They do ship it in refrigerated box which even survives Mohave Desert Heat. Of course it is exorbitant but so is the bourbon or Bordeaux I consume it with.
Posted by: epador at April 19, 2026 02:29 PM (uERcp)

Got married in Kauai oh so many years ago.

Damn good coffee on that island as well.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at April 19, 2026 02:32 PM (Zz0t1)

55 I concur. Tastes close to bakers chocolate but more gritty.
Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at April 19, 2026 02:22 PM (YBtcQ)

That reminds me. I'm having a heck of a time finding cocoa powder. Publix, and Walmart have chocolate baking squares, but no powder. A few weeks ago, I saw the powder at Aldi's, and resolved to pick some up on a future visit. Well, today was that day, and guess what? Not only was it not there, it was if they never stocked it. Le monde premier. Quelle dommage..

Posted by: Joe Kidd at April 19, 2026 02:32 PM (nbLIj)

56 If it's the fake chocolate that's been foisted on the US, air drop it into Iran.

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at April 19, 2026 02:32 PM (S/Y4j)

57 Giant inflatable penis at the FUCK ICE-NO KINGS-FREE PALESTINE demonstration! That's a first.

There were *five* people there.

FWP1: They called an impromptu protest and your papier-mâché giant head is still damp, so you go to the inflatables store for a frog suit and all they have are penii.
FWP2: the Left has already moved on to other pet causes and you never got the memo. What to do with your No Kings hijab? 🧕

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes. at April 19, 2026 02:33 PM (NoZ4r)

58 >>Got married in Kauai oh so many years ago.

My favorite of the Hawaiian islands. Friends are hearing there this week.

Posted by: JackStraw at April 19, 2026 02:33 PM (viF8m)

59 I gave Kale to the trick-or-treaters three years ago. None have come back.

Posted by: Mr. Natural at April 19, 2026 02:34 PM (oftw2)

60 Using packets of instant cocoa put no more than a 1/2" square of 80 or 90% chocolate into the mix.
It makes a world of difference.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at April 19, 2026 02:34 PM (EGWh3)

61 I'd chop the candies up and put them in brownies and cookies and as a topping for ice cream.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes. at April 19, 2026 02:35 PM (NoZ4r)

62
You may be too cheap to discard it, but are you too cheap to donate it? My leftover candy is always at the old folks' home the next day.

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at April 19, 2026 02:35 PM (n7rxJ)

63 Pope Leo says 'not in my interest at all' to debate Trump

-
And it's not in my interest to try to kick Hesgeth's ass.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Damn It Feels Good to Be a Trumpster! at April 19, 2026 02:36 PM (ndZc7)

64 RI I must disagree. Both fine bourbon and real German peppermint schnapps are potential mates.

Posted by: epador at April 19, 2026 02:36 PM (uERcp)

65 I have never heard of a common chocolate cocktail.

What would be the best, vodka, rum, tequila?

Solids and liquids, it's not brain surgery.

Posted by: Rev. Wishbone at April 19, 2026 02:36 PM (Fbc0I)

66
My favorite of the Hawaiian islands. Friends are hearing there this week.
Posted by: JackStraw at April 19, 2026 02:33 PM (viF8m)

It was beautiful.

Just not sure I trust the helicopter rides through the canyon as they appear to crash more often than I'd like.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at April 19, 2026 02:36 PM (Zz0t1)

67 Its more a 2nd World problem we have
Legalinsurrection.com- The Commissar Judge of all Federal property got shot down and the Big Beautiful Ball Room construction can continue for now.

Posted by: Skip at April 19, 2026 02:37 PM (Ia/+0)

68
Not the Navy’s most shining moment.

Posted by: Eromero at April 19, 2026 02:31 PM (T6Tm2)

____________

Really. The thought of naval personnel engaging in homosexual acts. Palpably absurd!

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at April 19, 2026 02:37 PM (tgvbd)

69 And it's not in my interest to try to kick Hesgeth's ass.
---

I might be open to some "just friends" paddling.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes. at April 19, 2026 02:37 PM (NoZ4r)

70 Leftover candy here lasts a week if it's lucky.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at April 19, 2026 02:38 PM (snZF9)

71 What to do with milk chocolate? Give it to little children whose savage and unrefined palates aren't used to good, bitter, dark chocolate.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at April 19, 2026 02:39 PM (Wnv9h)

72
Transuranium elements have a longer half-life than leftover chocolate at Schloss Hadrian.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at April 19, 2026 02:39 PM (tgvbd)

73 Re Kauai

The dark chocolate covered roasted coffee beans are the best. I order quantities and hide them from the wife so she doesnt binge too much. Yes, we honeymooned on that island too.

Posted by: epador at April 19, 2026 02:39 PM (uERcp)

74 AM THINKING GANACHE
Per Google AI, increase the chocolate-to-cream ratio (use 2.5–3 parts milk chocolate to 1 part heavy cream by weight) and add unsweetened cocoa powder to boost cocoa solids.

Posted by: Kathy at April 19, 2026 02:40 PM (zuKcR)

75 There's a bag of Hershey Nuggets (plain or w/ nuts) that I'm eyeing right now.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at April 19, 2026 02:40 PM (AkEZC)

76 Which is a darker simulacrum of the saddest chocolate: white chocolate. Which may not be chocolate at all.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at April 19, 2026 02:09 PM (tgvbd)

White chocolate is a tool of the Devil to entice well-meaning and good people.
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at April 19, 2026 02:13 PM (n9ltV)
******
White chocolate macadamia nut cookies are my favorite!

Posted by: redridinghood at April 19, 2026 02:42 PM (NpAcC)

77 Okay folks...this is a lighthearted thread. We have plenty of other opportunities to obsess over the news.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at April 19, 2026 02:43 PM (n9ltV)

78 Okay folks...this is a lighthearted thread. We have plenty of other opportunities to obsess over the news.
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at April 19, 2026 02:43 PM (n9ltV)

*douses hair fire*

Shucks......

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at April 19, 2026 02:43 PM (Zz0t1)

79 Giant inflatable penis at the FUCK ICE-NO KINGS-FREE PALESTINE demonstration! That's a first.

There were *five* people there.

FWP1: They called an impromptu protest and your papier-mâché giant head is still damp, so you go to the inflatables store for a frog suit and all they have are penii.
FWP2: the Left has already moved on to other pet causes and you never got the memo. What to do with your No Kings hijab? 🧕
Posted by: All Hail Eris

What is the significance of the giant penis and "No Kings"?
Are you going to pop it later, like "The King is Dead" or something?

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at April 19, 2026 02:44 PM (/lPRQ)

80 Sorry CBD

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes. at April 19, 2026 02:44 PM (NoZ4r)

81 What is the significance of the giant penis and "No Kings"?
Are you going to pop it later, like "The King is Dead" or something?

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at April 19, 2026 02:44 PM (/lPRQ)

Advertising. The protestors are dickheads.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at April 19, 2026 02:45 PM (snZF9)

82 Best think have around here is chocolate pudding, jusg don't buy candy much, though I would eat it.

Posted by: Skip at April 19, 2026 02:45 PM (Ia/+0)

83 Which is a darker simulacrum of the saddest chocolate: white chocolate. Which may not be chocolate at all.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at April 19, 2026 02:09 PM (tgvbd)

White chocolate is a tool of the Devil to entice well-meaning and good people.
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at April 19, 2026 02:13 PM (n9ltV)

White chocolate is the EV of candy.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at April 19, 2026 02:46 PM (snZF9)

84 Yep. For Easter I bought myself some Lindt 70% cocoa dark chocolate.

Dark chocolate is actually good for you.

Posted by: no one of any consequence at April 19, 2026 02:46 PM (qFwJc)

85 Somebody is always protesting something. It gets tiresome.

Posted by: Case at April 19, 2026 02:48 PM (pvf3X)

86 I also bought Snickers Ice Cream bars.

Wish had those when I was a kid.

Yay. More zits.

Posted by: no one of any consequence at April 19, 2026 02:48 PM (qFwJc)

87 Yep. For Easter I bought myself some Lindt 70% cocoa dark chocolate.

Dark chocolate is actually good for you.
Posted by: no one of any consequence at April 19, 2026 02:46 PM (qFwJc)

Like anything else, in moderation. In my case, it's like Lays potato chips - you can't eat just one.

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at April 19, 2026 02:48 PM (S/Y4j)

88 Sponge, what model car would you be needing for parts? My spitball thought would be to check local autobody shops and tell them what you're in the market for...

Posted by: Joe Kidd at April 19, 2026 02:48 PM (nbLIj)

89 You may be too cheap to discard it, but are you too cheap to donate it? My leftover candy is always at the old folks' home the next day.
Posted by: Blonde Morticia

What are you, part of the MAID program?

Posted by: Death By Chocolate at April 19, 2026 02:50 PM (oftw2)

90 FWP: open 8 youtube videos because I get distracted after the first one.

Spend the next 8 hours grinding through the tabs only to open 7 more.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at April 19, 2026 02:52 PM (diia5)

91 88 Sponge, what model car would you be needing for parts? My spitball thought would be to check local autobody shops and tell them what you're in the market for...
Posted by: Joe Kidd at April 19, 2026 02:48 PM (nbLIj
Google is your friend when you need pieces/parts.

Posted by: Eromero at April 19, 2026 02:52 PM (T6Tm2)

92 If you want to add some pop to your chili throw in some chocolate - Chili Mole !

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at April 19, 2026 02:52 PM (/lPRQ)

93 Somebody is always protesting something. It gets tiresome.

I DRUMMY DRUM DRUM AND SHOUTY BULLHORN

Posted by: Commissar of plenty and festive little hats at April 19, 2026 02:53 PM (Kt19C)

94 On a Christmas note, I'm untangling the Christmas lights and putting them away.

Hey, it was a cold, long winter....

Posted by: Stateless - He ain't heavy, he's my dog. Old, but full of life. at April 19, 2026 02:53 PM (Sco7b)

95 Google is your friend when you need pieces/parts.
Posted by: Eromero

Are there no salvage Yards anymore.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at April 19, 2026 02:53 PM (/lPRQ)

96 I remember one Halloween when some 13/14 year olds came by. I remember thinking "If you want to humiliate yourself by begging for candy, sure I will give you candy."

Posted by: no one of any consequence at April 19, 2026 02:53 PM (qFwJc)

97 You may be too cheap to discard it, but are you too cheap to donate it? My leftover candy is always at the old folks' home the next day.

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at April 19, 2026 02:35 PM (n7rxJ)

That's a very good idea. I donate a ton of stuff...I just never thought about donating extra Halloween candy!

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at April 19, 2026 02:54 PM (n9ltV)

98 I have a recipe for enchilada sauce that calls for a tsp of cocoa.

Posted by: no one of any consequence at April 19, 2026 02:54 PM (qFwJc)

99 Chili Mole

Have a rat chew that thing off your face

Posted by: Commissar of plenty and festive little hats at April 19, 2026 02:54 PM (Kt19C)

100 I used to like good chocolate a lot. Now too much tends to cause me digestive issues, but I occasionally have some dark chocolate sea salt caramels from the local candy shop and they are delicious. I've always liked Carmel and the combo of that and dark chocolate and sea salt work well together.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at April 19, 2026 02:56 PM (jtjbl)

101
In my case, it's like Lays potato chips - you can't eat just one.

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at April 19, 2026 02:48 PM (S/Y4j)

________

Pretzels. There is no such thing as a half-finished bag of pretzels

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at April 19, 2026 02:56 PM (tgvbd)

102 95 Google is your friend when you need pieces/parts.
Posted by: Eromero

Are there no salvage Yards anymore.
Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at April 19, 2026 02:53 PM (/lPRQ
Sure, U-Pull-It mostly.

Posted by: Eromero at April 19, 2026 02:56 PM (T6Tm2)

103 Any truth to the rumors that Reese's Peanut Butter Cups will be made according to the original recipe?

Posted by: mrp at April 19, 2026 02:57 PM (rj6Yv)

104 97 You may be too cheap to discard it, but are you too cheap to donate it? My leftover candy is always at the old folks' home the next day.

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at April 19, 2026 02:35 PM (n7rxJ)

That's a very good idea. I donate a ton of stuff...I just never thought about donating extra Halloween candy!
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at April 19, 2026 02:54 PM (n9ltV
Bring it in October, they’ll be plenty of old folks there.

Posted by: Eromero at April 19, 2026 02:58 PM (T6Tm2)

105 38 Is that the old Hershey's or the new stuff that will likely kill you if ingested?

Hershey's has apparently listened, and is going back to their original real chocolate. I'm sure the price will rise, but at least they've backtracked on the continued ens***ification of the US.

Posted by: Archimedes at April 19, 2026 03:01 PM (Riz8t)

106 > 88 Sponge, what model car would you be needing for parts? My spitball thought would be to check local autobody shops and tell them what you're in the market for...
Posted by: Joe Kidd at April 19, 2026 02:48 PM (nbLIj
Google is your friend when you need pieces/parts.
Posted by: Eromero at April 19, 2026 02:52 PM (T6Tm2)
-----------------
My daughter needs a new instrument cluster for a 20 year old Tahoe. Believe it or not, Amazon has a couple 3rd party outfits that sell them. With a return of the broken one.

$300.

Dealer wants something like $800 - $1000 (to "reprogram" the odometer to current numbers.) It's digital. Simple code.

I have questions about that.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at April 19, 2026 03:01 PM (AkEZC)

107 My 1WP might be a nap

Posted by: Skip at April 19, 2026 03:02 PM (Ia/+0)

108
"Leftover candy"

These words make no sense together.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at April 19, 2026 03:03 PM (tgvbd)

109 Sun is out, was light raining earlier but now in the 40s

Posted by: Skip at April 19, 2026 03:03 PM (Ia/+0)

110 Not mine, but a bee's fwp.
Came in the cat door, couldn't get him to go back out it. So I caught it in a mayonaise jar and let it loose out the back door.

Posted by: From about That Time at April 19, 2026 03:03 PM (sl73Y)

111 What is the cut off age for trick or treaters? I never really thought about it.

Posted by: Case at April 19, 2026 03:03 PM (pvf3X)

112 Google is your friend when you need pieces/parts.
Posted by: Eromero at April 19, 2026 02:52 PM (T6Tm2)
-----------------
Try carparts.com. I found replacement parts for my 25 year old Dodge for very reasonable prices.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at April 19, 2026 03:07 PM (NSMyg)

113 REESE's PEANUT BUTTER CUPS ... You might be able to (somewhat) pacify a craving for these by stirring a little powdered sugar into a tablespoon of your favorite peanut butter ... And, if you wish to incorporate chocolate into the mix, sprinkle on some chocolate chip morsels.

Posted by: Kathy at April 19, 2026 03:08 PM (zuKcR)

114
My daughter needs a new instrument cluster for a 20 year old Tahoe. Believe it or not, Amazon has a couple 3rd party outfits that sell them. With a return of the broken one.

Friend of mine restores and resells trucks. My 1999 Ranger 4x4 is one of his. Anyway, his go to for new and refurbed parts is Rock Auto. I've used them for a few items myself and have never been disappointed. Just did a search on a 2006 Tahoe instrument cluster and got the following..

http://tiny.cc/9d32101

Posted by: Joe Kidd at April 19, 2026 03:13 PM (nbLIj)

115 Melt the candy and incorporate it into an exciting dessert. Report it in the food thread.
Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at April 19, 2026 02:19 PM (t1fZA)

That is not a bad idea, but don't melt it, chop it up fine and put in with yellow cake batter and make a version of "spotted dick" by steaming it.

Posted by: Kindltot - Si, se podan at April 19, 2026 03:13 PM (rbvCR)

116 Just did a search on a 2006 Tahoe instrument cluster and got the following..

http://tiny.cc/9d32101

Out of stock.

Posted by: From about That Time at April 19, 2026 03:16 PM (sl73Y)

117 What is the cut off age for trick or treaters? I never really thought about it.

Posted by: Case at April 19, 2026 03:03 PM (pvf3X)

Younger than teen-aged and all's good.

But some 15-year-old showing up at my door asking for candy had better have a great costume or a greater story, otherwise I'll opt for the trick.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at April 19, 2026 03:17 PM (n9ltV)

118 Brits think our milk chocolate tastes like puke. Literally.

Posted by: javems at April 19, 2026 03:18 PM (AtZQT)

119 Yeah, I saw that too, but it might be worth doing the notification thingie. They probably don't stock a lot of older car parts, and only order them when an amount of interest is indicated...maybe...

Posted by: Joe Kidd at April 19, 2026 03:22 PM (nbLIj)

120 Brits think our milk chocolate tastes like puke. Literally.
Posted by: javems at April 19, 2026 03:18 PM

People whose food sucks say what?

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at April 19, 2026 03:23 PM (Wnv9h)

121 My scanning of newly reduced books came across this just now.

Incredible World War II Stories for Kids
Feel History Come Alive Through True Accounts of Daring Missions, Extraordinary Heroes and Unforgettable Triumphs

-
And a portion of the description includes . . .

No pictures or mention of guns or violence

-
WWII without all that yucky guns and violence.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Damn It Feels Good to Be a Trumpster! at April 19, 2026 03:23 PM (ndZc7)

122 I had hoped to cleanup on overstock Robin Eggs (malt balls) after Easter... None to be found.

One more piece of evidence that Global Warming is changing our way of life.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at April 19, 2026 03:24 PM (fhCge)

123 Fastest 20 minutes

Posted by: Skip at April 19, 2026 03:24 PM (Ia/+0)

124 “the food that built america” is back in rotation on the history channel.

i really like finding about the history and people who created america’s brands. it’s good! for the reals.

Posted by: cherries in season at April 19, 2026 03:24 PM (+mkoG)

125 Brits think our milk chocolate tastes like puke. Literally.

Posted by: javems at April 19, 2026 03:18 PM (AtZQT)

Their milk chocolate IS good. But they don't eat much dark chocolate, so their perspective is fundamentally warped.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at April 19, 2026 03:25 PM (n9ltV)

126 Brits think our milk chocolate tastes like puke. Literally.

That may be DJT's ass they're tasting.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at April 19, 2026 03:25 PM (fhCge)

127 RI I must disagree. Both fine bourbon and real German peppermint schnapps are potential mates.
Posted by: epador at April 19, 2026 02:36 PM (uERcp)

I’m willing to listen to reason. If plied with fine alcohol.

Posted by: RI Red at April 19, 2026 03:26 PM (R8Gjz)

128 But some 15-year-old showing up at my door asking for candy had better have a great costume or a greater story, otherwise I'll opt for the trick.
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at April 19, 2026 03:17 PM

My friend and I used to take his little sister trick or treating. I never wore a costume. I just told people I was the invisible man, but the costume only worked if they paid no attention to me. That got chuckles from the adults.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at April 19, 2026 03:26 PM (Wnv9h)

129 Chocolate is my one remaining addiction.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at April 19, 2026 03:28 PM (RIvkX)

130 What is the cut off age for trick or treaters? I never really thought about it.
Posted by: Case at April 19, 2026 03:03 PM (pvf3X)

These days, I'm grateful to get any kind Halloween traffic. As far as teens go, I figure since they won't be able to have any fun until they turn 21, they can still get free candy. But yeah, put some effort in costume...

Posted by: Joe Kidd at April 19, 2026 03:30 PM (nbLIj)

131 If some chocolate is good for you, moar chocolate is better!

Posted by: San Franpsycho at April 19, 2026 03:30 PM (RIvkX)

132 especially since it was milk chocolate to begin with, which is a pale and sad simulacrum of the only chocolate that counts: dark chocolate!

Posted by: CBD at 02:00 PM

*stands up*

You, sir, are a pretentious commie troon.

Milk Chocolate is the favorite of freedom yearning children everywhere. It is the chocolate of the people.

Dark chocolate is the hipster 'Communism sounds so cool!' favorite. It tastes of stupdity and fascism.*

Thank you.

*sits back down*

*one exception to this: dark chocolate and mint. OG York Peppermint Patties. Damn good candy. This is the candy of the commie, stuck behind enemy lines, yearning to be free.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at April 19, 2026 03:31 PM (bss/y)

133 WWII without all that yucky guns and violence.
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Damn It Feels Good to Be a Trumpster! at April 19, 2026 03:23 PM (ndZc7)

I LOVED how everything was solved with hugs!!

Dang, you all got me in the mood for chocolate and uptown is a 90 second drive. I do have sour cream and onion chips here.

Posted by: Stateless - He ain't heavy, he's my dog. Old, but full of life. at April 19, 2026 03:31 PM (Sco7b)

134 Well, teenagers taking around their younger siblings get a big smile and extra from me.

Posted by: nurse ratched at April 19, 2026 03:31 PM (A5RD0)

135 That reminds me. I'm having a heck of a time finding cocoa powder. Publix, and Walmart have chocolate baking squares, but no powder. A few weeks ago, I saw the powder at Aldi's, and resolved to pick some up on a future visit. Well, today was that day, and guess what? Not only was it not there, it was if they never stocked it. Le monde premier. Quelle dommage..
Posted by: Joe Kidd

My Krogers sells the Hershey and their own store brand powder.

Posted by: Tuna at April 19, 2026 03:32 PM (lJ0H4)

136 Which is a darker simulacrum of the saddest chocolate: white chocolate. Which may not be chocolate at all.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at April 19, 2026 02:09 PM (tgvbd)

White chocolate is a tool of the Devil to entice well-meaning and good people.
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at April 19, 2026 02:13 PM (n9ltV)
====

Those darn Swiss!
*shakes fist*

Posted by: San Franpsycho at April 19, 2026 03:32 PM (RIvkX)

137 I started making my own chocolate chip cookies and found out that the chocolate chips all contain soy lecithin. Even the dark chocolate chips have a warning that they MAY contain soy.

Posted by: Unkaren at April 19, 2026 03:34 PM (utGqj)

138 Brits think our milk chocolate tastes like puke. Literally.

Two Brits one cup

Posted by: Commissar of plenty and festive little hats at April 19, 2026 03:35 PM (Kt19C)

139 Counter: white chocolate and macadamia nut cookies. Warm and soft from the oven. Mmmm.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at April 19, 2026 03:35 PM (bss/y)

140 Milk chocolate is an abomination. And hersheys is wax.

Small batch, dark and bitter, like my soul.

Posted by: nurse ratched at April 19, 2026 03:36 PM (A5RD0)

141 Good portion of the lower end white chocolate was tested and found to have a high ear wax content.

Posted by: You've Been Warned at April 19, 2026 03:36 PM (oftw2)

142 White chocolate is a tool of the Devil to entice well-meaning and good people.
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at April 19, 2026 02:13 PM (n9ltV)

I did my thesis on "White Chocolate and Systemic Racism: A Deconstruction of Choco-Normativity as it relates to Food Justice and Interlocking Systems of Oppression." I got an A.

Posted by: Dr. Frizzelda Q. Screechan, Ed.D at April 19, 2026 03:37 PM (eOFY+)

143 138 Brits think our milk chocolate tastes like puke. Literally.

Two Brits one cup
Posted by: Commissar of plenty and festive little hats at April 19, 2026 03:35 PM (Kt19C)

There is a slight sour note to Hershey's. It was the formula the guy made. (The history here is kind of interesting.) I honestly think it sets off the flavor better that way. European Milk tastes too... smooth to me? To uniform.

This might be accent wall bullshit, but I like Hershey's (at least OG Hershey's) better than Cadbury, in my opinion.

Also could be like cigarettes. You have your brand and everything else tastes more harsh and less flavor.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at April 19, 2026 03:38 PM (bss/y)

144 Mint and chocolate should never even be in the same room together.

And that green ice cream with “chocolate?”

BLAM BLAM BLAM!

Posted by: nurse ratched at April 19, 2026 03:38 PM (A5RD0)

145 144 Mint and chocolate should never even be in the same room together.

And that green ice cream with “chocolate?”

BLAM BLAM BLAM!
Posted by: nurse ratched at April 19, 2026 03:38 PM (A5RD0)

Sea Otters love York Peppermint patties. They told me.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at April 19, 2026 03:39 PM (bss/y)

146 YOU TAKE THAT BACK!

Posted by: nurse ratched at April 19, 2026 03:39 PM (A5RD0)

147 Lol.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at April 19, 2026 03:40 PM (bss/y)

148 Tsk, tsk, CBD... see page 54 of the Deplorable Gourmet (Helena Handbasket's Brownie recipe).

Break up the Hershey bars and sub them for the milk chocolate chips. I just made that recipe yesterday and substituted an alternate form of milk chocolate - turned out very well.

Posted by: Matthew Kant Cipher at April 19, 2026 03:40 PM (DzcSl)

149 *one exception to this: dark chocolate and mint. OG York Peppermint Patties. Damn good candy. This is the candy of the commie, stuck behind enemy lines, yearning to be free.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at April 19, 2026 03:31 PM (bss/y)

Think I've posted this before, but Peppermint Patties placed on top of just-baked brownies that are then put back in the still-warm oven for about 30 seconds, then spread with knife or spatula

is

the

way...

Posted by: Joe Kidd at April 19, 2026 03:41 PM (nbLIj)

150 My FWP is trying to remove a broken DeWalt line trimmer head and replace it with a new one. Why make this so difficult DeWalt? Ack!

Posted by: Maj. Healey at April 19, 2026 03:42 PM (abIsI)

151 Also, mint anything is the devil's work.

Posted by: Maj. Healey at April 19, 2026 03:43 PM (abIsI)

152 151 Also, mint anything is the devil's work.
Posted by: Maj. Healey at April 19, 2026 03:43 PM (abIsI)

I hate cilantro, but love mint. And yet, cilantro was in everything for a while there.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at April 19, 2026 03:45 PM (bss/y)

153 152 151 Also, mint anything is the devil's work.
Posted by: Maj. Healey at April 19, 2026 03:43 PM (abIsI)

I hate cilantro, but love mint. And yet, cilantro was in everything for a while there.
Posted by: Aetius451AD

Mint is in the catnip family. Consume mint and start rolling on the floor making strange sounds and then zoom around the house like your on crack.

Posted by: Maj. Healey at April 19, 2026 03:47 PM (abIsI)

154 you're

Posted by: Maj. Healey at April 19, 2026 03:49 PM (abIsI)

155 I don't buy much candy anymore but if I want a candy bar I'll stick with Hershey's.

Posted by: Case at April 19, 2026 03:49 PM (pvf3X)

156 Chocolate Chip is my favorite ice cream, mint chocolate chip is horrible

Posted by: Skip at April 19, 2026 03:50 PM (Ia/+0)

157 This might be accent wall bullshit, but I like Hershey's (at least OG Hershey's) better than Cadbury, in my opinion.

Also could be like cigarettes. You have your brand and everything else tastes more harsh and less flavor.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at April 19, 2026 03:38 PM (bss/
====

Hershey's is American Chocolate for Americans.

If you don't like Hershey's your patriotism is questionable.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at April 19, 2026 03:51 PM (RIvkX)

158 WTF is happening with Iran? Is Hormuz open or not. They’re negotiating then they’re not. This is getting bizarre all around.

Posted by: Heroq at April 19, 2026 03:53 PM (13bda)

159 158 WTF is happening with Iran? Is Hormuz open or not. They’re negotiating then they’re not. This is getting bizarre all around.
Posted by: Heroq at April 19, 2026 03:53 PM (13bda)

Or we are trying to negotiate with broken apart factions, all vying for power. If one makes a deal, the other ices it in order to make them look bad.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at April 19, 2026 03:54 PM (bss/y)

160 >>WTF is happening with Iran? Is Hormuz open or not. They’re negotiating then they’re not. This is getting bizarre all around.

According to Trump we just put a very large whole in the engine room of an Iranian cargo ship that tried to break through the blockade.

Posted by: JackStraw at April 19, 2026 03:55 PM (viF8m)

161 Thought this was going to be the Food Thread.

Posted by: Weak Geek at April 19, 2026 03:56 PM (p/isN)

162 i really like finding about the history and people who created america’s brands. it’s good! for the reals.
Posted by: cherries in season at April 19, 2026 03:24 PM (+mkoG)

---------

That's a great series. The episode on Kraft Mac & Cheese features a Dairy Science professor from SDSU who happens to be a friend of mine.

Posted by: Matthew Kant Cipher at April 19, 2026 03:57 PM (DzcSl)

163 I think the powers in Iran will always claim they are winning, in charge, and will always be in control.
I hope by Wednesday any thing that floats in Iran no longercwill be able to

Posted by: Skip at April 19, 2026 03:57 PM (Ia/+0)

164 I have another FWP, deciding what I will burn for Earth Day(April21). Last year it was some documents. This year maybe some old plastic garden border material.

Posted by: Maj. Healey at April 19, 2026 03:58 PM (abIsI)

165 Hersheys is actually awful. There is very little “real” chocolate in it. Mostly sugar and chemicals.

Blech

Posted by: nurse ratched at April 19, 2026 03:58 PM (A5RD0)

166 Hershey's is woke so screw them.

Posted by: Maj. Healey at April 19, 2026 03:59 PM (abIsI)

167 Candy is dandy, however, sex doesn't rot your teeth

Posted by: Ghost of Turbines past at April 19, 2026 03:59 PM (jrgJz)

168 Rings dinner bell

NOOOOOOOOOD

Posted by: Skip at April 19, 2026 04:01 PM (Ia/+0)

169 You freeze it. Same thing you do with Girl Scout cookies eat a little later or throw it out

Posted by: Notsothoreau at April 19, 2026 04:01 PM (wOXCn)

170 Hershey isn't just woke, they have been at the forefront of enshittifying American chocolate. All around the world, including Europe (where not a single cacao plant is grown outside a greenhouse), you can get delicious real chocolate from imported cacao. In America you get the hershey squirts, almost all fake but lots of SUGAR!!.

Posted by: gKWVE at April 19, 2026 04:01 PM (gKWVE)

171 Hershey is the best argument for Benedict Arnold choosing the correct side.

Posted by: gKWVE at April 19, 2026 04:02 PM (gKWVE)

172 I have another FWP, deciding what I will burn for Earth Day(April21). Last year it was some documents. This year maybe some old plastic garden border material.
Posted by: Maj. Healey at April 19, 2026 03:58 PM (abIsI)

Got any bags of leftover Halloween candy?

Posted by: Joe Kidd at April 19, 2026 04:03 PM (nbLIj)

173 >>>especially since it was milk chocolate to begin with, which is a pale and sad simulacrum of the only chocolate that counts: dark chocolate!

Give the little bastards 70% and let 'em choke on it.

Even as a kid, I preferred semisweet.

Posted by: Miley, okravangelist at April 19, 2026 04:21 PM (w6EFb)

174 From New Zealand-- Whittaker's Dark Ghana with Almonds. (72% cocoa) Yumm!!

Brought back 5 kilos of that and other dark chocolates on a recent trip there. Ration out one 1/4kg bar a month to make it last.

Posted by: Raoul Ortega at April 19, 2026 04:24 PM (j7INY)

175 From New Zealand-- Whittaker's Dark Ghana with Almonds. (72% cocoa) Yumm!!

Posted by: Raoul Ortega

Skip the almonds!

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at April 19, 2026 04:27 PM (YBtcQ)

176 Stopped in a little chocolate shop in Zurich and opted for a tiny box of six chocolate truffles. Handed the clerk a Swiss Franc note that said 20 on it but had no idea how much it was worth. Got a few coins back. Finally checked the exchange rate later and realized that I had paid about $25 for six little pieces of chocolate. But I must say, it was the best chocolate I have ever had.

Posted by: IrishEi ?! at April 19, 2026 04:27 PM (3ImbR)

177 break it up, and use it in your pancakes, instead of semi sweet choco chips.
works pretty well.. Not as good as semi's but still good

Posted by: gilbar at April 19, 2026 05:51 PM (Zf9Pz)

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