Fang-Fang Banger and Democrat Smear Merchant Eric Swalwell is Melting Down as Campaign Staffers Quit and More Sexual Assault Accusers Come Forward

As they say: Every "Male Feminist" should come along with a rape whistle to warn the unwary.

A former staffer claims that Swalwell raped her when she was too drunk to consent. Twice.

From the SF Chronicle, quoted by Red State:

A woman who worked for nearly two years for Rep. Eric Swalwell, a leading candidate for California governor, said she had sexual encounters with him while he was her boss and alleged he twice sexually assaulted her when she was too intoxicated to consent.
[...]
The woman said Swalwell began pursuing her within weeks after she was hired at age 21 to work in the Democrat's district office in Castro Valley in 2019. Swalwell messaged her on Snapchat, she said, sending images of his genitals and seeking nude pictures of her in return.
She said Swalwell, who is married and 17 years her senior, tried to kiss her in her car when she drove him home from a donor meeting one night. Driving him to another event weeks later, she said Swalwell pulled out his penis in the car and asked her to perform oral sex on him. She said she did so in a parking lot.

He took it out.

In September 2019, the woman said, Swalwell invited her out for drinks and she became so severely intoxicated that she does not remember the rest of the night. She said she woke up naked in Swalwell's hotel bed and could feel the effect of vaginal intercourse. She said Swalwell distanced himself from her afterward and the relationship faded.

The woman also alleged that Swalwell sexually assaulted her five years later, when she was no longer a staffer, where, after a charity gala, she was "so inebriated that she only remembers snippets of the night, including pushing Swalwell away and telling him, 'No,' while he allegedly forced himself on her."

Apparently she told two people about the second sexual assault, at about the time it happened.

More accusers are coming, says Democrat-friendly leak receptacle CNN.

Three other women who spoke with CNN also alleged various kinds of sexual misconduct by the Democratic congressman -- including Swalwell sending them unsolicited explicit messages or nude photos.
One woman who connected online with Swalwell over her interest in Democratic politics says she ended up extremely drunk inside his hotel room after a night out with the congressman, with little memory of what occurred. Earlier in the night at a bar, he kissed her and touched her leg without her consent, she said.
Another woman, who described receiving unsolicited nude messages from Swalwell, was social media creator Ally Sammarco. She said she initially reached out to the congressman on Twitter to discuss politics. "I truly never thought he would respond -- I had like 1,000 followers at the time," she said. "And he actually responded."

CNN also adds: She told family members and friends about the sexual assault a day or two after it happened.

So the Democrats are terrified that two Republicans will win the jungle primary and they will be locked out of the governor's mansion. To reduce those risks, they have to drive some of the other Democrats out of the race and consolidate around a couple candidates -- or better yet, one single candidate.

Gee, I wonder who benefits from this and I wonder who is screaming the news out on Twitter but totally wasn't behind this coordinated political-"journalistic" hit:

The allegations against Congressman Swalwell are horrifying. I’m thinking of the courageous women who have come forward to share their stories. We believe you and we stand with you.
— Katie Porter (@katieporterca) April 10, 2026

#metoo! pic.twitter.com/4qDBvkMVVd
— Michelle Brodeur (@MichelleBrodeu2) April 9, 2026

As others have pointed out: This must all have been known -- but the media covered it up for years, even as Swalwell sanctimoniously accused Trump of all manner of sec crimes. He was useful to the Democrat Party, so the media protected him.

But now the media needs to winnow the field down to one or two candidates, so they join forces yet again to take him out.

Same thing happened with Biden, of course.

Posted by: Disinformation Expert Ace at 08:54 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Yep

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at April 10, 2026 08:56 PM (nESHF)

2 Roomy

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at April 10, 2026 08:58 PM (nESHF)

3 Who needs Epstein?

Posted by: Hokey Pokey at April 10, 2026 08:58 PM (2f1DR)

4 Rd

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at April 10, 2026 08:58 PM (nESHF)

5 LOL!

should happen to every demonrat scum!

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at April 10, 2026 08:58 PM (MIIRH)

6 The teacher's union pulled their endorsement and Shifty Schiff says he can't support Fartwell. He's done.

Posted by: Ian S. at April 10, 2026 08:58 PM (o3/x/)

7 Twice? Lady, lay off the liquor!

Posted by: fd at April 10, 2026 08:58 PM (vFG9F)

8 >>> More Sexual Assault Accusers Come Forward

Not that I would ever support that POS, but w/o contemporaneous police reports it is not credible.

But Swallwl, so EF him.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at April 10, 2026 08:59 PM (Nhdgn)

9 When you become an inconvenience in the DNC, you get taken out.

Posted by: Cray Cray at April 10, 2026 08:59 PM (nCTkv)

10 They take it out, Jerry. They just take it out.

Posted by: Kramer merged with Elaine in a transporter mishap at April 10, 2026 09:00 PM (1wjle)

11 Dog Bites Man.

Posted by: ... at April 10, 2026 09:00 PM (vE0+H)

12 To quote Jackie Gleason, "how sweet it is."

Posted by: Anna Puma at April 10, 2026 09:00 PM (2GVsD)

13 Body cams with inauguration. Watch your elected representation on CSPAN.

Posted by: Hokey Pokey at April 10, 2026 09:00 PM (2f1DR)

14 #BelieveAllWomen

Posted by: Anna Puma at April 10, 2026 09:00 PM (2GVsD)

15 A woman who worked for nearly two years for Rep. Eric Swalwell, a leading candidate for California governor, said she had sexual encounters with him while he was her boss and alleged he twice sexually assaulted her when she was too intoxicated to consent.
---
"We got it on because I thought something would come of it, but I also filed this away for future use because you never know."

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at April 10, 2026 09:00 PM (ZOv7s)

16 When you become an inconvenience in the DNC, you get taken out.
Posted by: Cray Cray at April 10, 2026

***
Like in the KGB. Or Smiley's version of the British Secret Service.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at April 10, 2026 09:01 PM (wzUl9)

17 I have no doubt in my mind this man is disgusting. But this girls story is very, very questionable. I am sure they slept together. I am not sure she was an unwilling participant.

Posted by: Piper at April 10, 2026 09:01 PM (Wmg4n)

18 But did swalwell say pussy?

Posted by: Cray Cray at April 10, 2026 09:01 PM (nCTkv)

19 When you become an inconvenience in the DNC, you get taken out."

In and out, and in, and out....

Posted by: man at April 10, 2026 09:01 PM (XuXeR)

20 She didn't work there for the politics.

Posted by: Count de Monet at April 10, 2026 09:01 PM (wVcYX)

21 When you become an inconvenience in the DNC, you get taken out.
Posted by: Cray Cray at April 10, 2026 08:59 PM (nCTkv)
---
Look what they did to Biden. The Party always wins.

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at April 10, 2026 09:01 PM (ZOv7s)

22 Grind this piece of shit into paste.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at April 10, 2026 09:01 PM (nESHF)

23 Who holds Porter's puppet strings?

Posted by: davidt at April 10, 2026 09:02 PM (Q+gd/)

24 Rape me once shame on you.

Rape me twice shame on me.

~Scotty

Posted by: eleven at April 10, 2026 09:02 PM (aTgV0)

25 >>>17 I have no doubt in my mind this man is disgusting. But this girls story is very, very questionable. I am sure they slept together. I am not sure she was an unwilling participant.

I #BelieveAllWomen.

Do better, Piper. #DoBetter.

Posted by: ace at April 10, 2026 09:02 PM (1wjle)

26 Piper

She is probably like others, cashing in when she can. That last vicious dig at someone whom she let use her as a doormat.

Posted by: Anna Puma at April 10, 2026 09:02 PM (2GVsD)

27 The Media is just as scummy for not exposing this guy. Fox "News" included.

Posted by: fd at April 10, 2026 09:02 PM (vFG9F)

28 I am sorry but we really need to be the bigger side and demand evidentiary standards and proof that only courts and the high standards of the judiciary as envisioned by the Founders can resolve.

If we as a side are just gonna mob up and go along with every cockamamie fake accusation against someone just because they are a Democrat, it makes us no better than them. In fact it makes us *worse* because we should know better.

I'm kidding of course - fuck that predator in the ass - he's gotta be guilty of something.

As the old saying goes: what's good for the goose, go fuck yourself.

Posted by: ... at April 10, 2026 09:03 PM (vE0+H)

29 > But did swalwell say pussy?
--------
On one hand I doubt he's ever seen one.

On the other hand he could just look in the mirror.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at April 10, 2026 09:03 PM (AkEZC)

30 23 Who holds Porter's puppet strings?

Judging from her pictures, she's going to need considerably more than strings. Hawsers, perhaps.

Posted by: Archimedes at April 10, 2026 09:03 PM (Riz8t)

31 It's not going to suck itself.

Posted by: eleven at April 10, 2026 09:03 PM (aTgV0)

32 Are you saying Porter is portly?

Posted by: Anna Puma at April 10, 2026 09:04 PM (2GVsD)

33 >>>31 It's not going to suck itself.

Accurate.

Posted by: Michael Starr at April 10, 2026 09:04 PM (1wjle)

34 Look what they did to Biden. The Party always wins."

"The Candidate" - Robert Redford and Peter Boyle...

Posted by: man at April 10, 2026 09:04 PM (XuXeR)

35 Do better, Piper. #DoBetter.
Posted by: ace at April 10, 2026 09

#sorry

Posted by: Piper at April 10, 2026 09:04 PM (Wmg4n)

36 Are you saying Porter is portly?

She said portentously.

Posted by: Archimedes at April 10, 2026 09:04 PM (Riz8t)

37 I wonder why all leftist women always feel like all men are horrible? I wonder what, in their collective environment, which necessarily excludes any dudes like me, would invariably lead them to that conclusion?

Posted by: banana Dream at April 10, 2026 09:04 PM (3uBP9)

38 Ain't it a beaut?!

Posted by: Eric Swalwell at April 10, 2026 09:04 PM (wVcYX)

39 If it was the NKVD or KGB taking out the garbage, they had lots of tundra to bury bodies in.

Posted by: Anna Puma at April 10, 2026 09:05 PM (2GVsD)

40 Eric Swalwell's favorite Steel Panther song

https://youtu.be/Gs5NTHYNzEA?si=79qtjizdR55zBzKN

Posted by: ace at April 10, 2026 09:05 PM (1wjle)

41 Judging from her pictures, she's going to need considerably more than strings. Hawsers, perhaps."

3/8 woven nylon would work

Posted by: man at April 10, 2026 09:05 PM (XuXeR)

42 American "politics" and voters are generally just so pathetic and unserious. And getting worse.

Posted by: rhomboid at April 10, 2026 09:05 PM (U/Byj)

43 23 Who holds Porter's puppet strings?

Posted by: davidt at April 10, 2026 09:02 PM (Q+gd/)

Samson
Hercules
The Hulk
Superman
Atlas
Wonder Woman

Didn't we once dedicate Tuesdays here to fake sexual assault claims?

For the Dems, it should be dead body or higher to be a scandal.

Posted by: Stateless - He ain't heavy, he's my dog. Old, but full of life. at April 10, 2026 09:06 PM (Sco7b)

44 Are you saying Porter is portly?

She said portentously.
Posted by: Archimedes at April 10, 2026 09:04 PM (Riz8t)
---
I'm not saying she's fat, but when she sits around the house, she *sits around the house*!

Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all week. Don't forget the tip the staff and try the veal.

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at April 10, 2026 09:06 PM (ZOv7s)

45 Probably common knowledge on his staff what one had to do for promotions and big raises.
And many wanted to move up that totem pole... and fewer wanted be be thought of as a 'whore' for getting ahead.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at April 10, 2026 09:06 PM (Nhdgn)

46 This dick pic is from its "Goth" phase. You can see some mascara in the head-slit.

Posted by: Eric Swalwell at April 10, 2026 09:06 PM (1wjle)

47 good gravy. Sounds like Swalwell was spiking drinks to get to his 'date raping' What a bastid.

Posted by: PaleRider at April 10, 2026 09:06 PM (+89TD)

48 Nancy Pelosi released a statement- where is Hakeem?

Posted by: Piper at April 10, 2026 09:07 PM (Wmg4n)

49 He had to rape me like seven times before I figured out it was rape.

Posted by: some bimbo scoutin' for cash at April 10, 2026 09:07 PM (gKWVE)

50 Time to meander

Posted by: Anna Puma at April 10, 2026 09:08 PM (2GVsD)

51 Is this the moment when we can start calling him Eric Swallowell?

Posted by: Alteria Pilgram - My President has convictions at April 10, 2026 09:08 PM (glnUu)

52 #ReleasetheCongressionalSexualHarrassmentRecords

#ReleasetheSwalwellFiles

Posted by: ace at April 10, 2026 09:08 PM (1wjle)

53 #BelieveAllDemFemMen

Posted by: mindful webworker - [Raises glass of Tsing Tao] at April 10, 2026 09:08 PM (C2uPD)

54 The women on Swalwell staff would text him to #metoo when they needed a big Christmas bonus.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at April 10, 2026 09:08 PM (Nhdgn)

55 Are you saying Porter is portly?

She said portentously.

We've studied the portents, and the portents say....

Posted by: man at April 10, 2026 09:08 PM (XuXeR)

56 Weird how multiple women ended up almost blackout drunk while socializing with Swalwell. Was he giving them the Cosby treatment (ala roofie)?

Posted by: Chairman LMAO at April 10, 2026 09:08 PM (cWLG3)

57 MOAR POPCORN!!!

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at April 10, 2026 09:08 PM (+HNx/)

58 I wonder why all leftist women always feel like all men are horrible? I wonder what, in their collective environment, which necessarily excludes any dudes like me, would invariably lead them to that conclusion?
Posted by: banana Dream at April 10, 2026 09:04 PM (3uBP9)
---
The experience of liberal women is self-limited to liberal men, who are sick, deviant, bullying perverts. Because they submit wholly to The Cause and The Party, they cover up these incidents, and reassure each other that as bad as these freakazoids are, conservatives are surely much, much worse.

But when, on rare occasions, they actually meet real conservative men, who treat them with dignity and genuine affection, they cannot process it, because to admit the truth is to admit that their lives were built on a lie. So the best they can do is revenge.

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at April 10, 2026 09:10 PM (ZOv7s)

59 I don't care about this at all. The kind of broad who works for a heel like Swalwell deserves everything she gets. Ans Swalwell deserves them too. Perish in flames, garbage people.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at April 10, 2026 09:10 PM (g/QcK)

60 Eric Swallwell
@Eric.Swallwell

I shall fart in their general direction!

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at April 10, 2026 09:10 PM (+HNx/)

61 Is this the moment when we can start calling him Eric Swallowell?
Posted by: Alteria Pilgram - My President has convictions at April 10, 2026

***
Weren't we doing that already during the Fang Fang days? "Swallowswell," I think it was.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at April 10, 2026 09:10 PM (wzUl9)

62 I know I'm a crazy conspiracy theorist and all but that list of "anonymous comments" was clearly mostly just the astroturfed thoughts of a single Buzzfeed author but given the ol' mob "you have to think this way" credibility.

I'm not saying it's not reasonably representative of how the NPC dopes on that side think, but hell go back and read them - it's pretty obviously mostly written by one person.

Posted by: ... at April 10, 2026 09:11 PM (vE0+H)

63 In all seriousness, sometimes men like-a da poon and get themselves into situations they shouldn't be in. I think Clinton is here.
Some men make a single mistake and regret it forever. (Especially if they get caught. I'm not sympathetic in case you are wondering, who knows what they'd do if they weren't caught.)
But the Brits (at least) have figured out that some men get into show business because they are predators. Savile didn't become who he was because he genuinely wanted to help kids. Ian Watkins didn't become a pop star because he was in love with the music.
I wonder if Swalwell is in that last category.

Posted by: gKWVE at April 10, 2026 09:11 PM (gKWVE)

64 Eric Swallwell has more than proved himself a dedicated male feminist.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at April 10, 2026 09:11 PM (+HNx/)

65 That sea state is just perfect. Like a lake out there. Though apparently currents are complicating the process.

Cicero check this out. These are the surface conditions you want for your trips to Catalina.

Posted by: rhomboid at April 10, 2026 09:11 PM (U/Byj)

66 >>> For the Dems, it should be dead body or higher to be a scandal.
Posted by: Stateless - He ain't heavy, he's my dog. Old, but full of life. at April 10, 2026 09:06 PM (Sco7b)

They can't be shamed. But they can sometimes be identified as a source of regime narrative collapse. Perhaps that's it for Fartwell.

Posted by: banana Dream at April 10, 2026 09:12 PM (3uBP9)

67 Weird how multiple women ended up almost blackout drunk while socializing with Swalwell. Was he giving them the Cosby treatment (ala roofie)?
Posted by: Chairman LMAO at April 10, 2026 09:08 PM (cWLG3)
---
Teddy Kennedy killed a girl and got away with it. Everything since has been child's play.

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at April 10, 2026 09:12 PM (ZOv7s)

68
Oh, no!
.
.
.
Anyway...

Posted by: Most people at April 10, 2026 09:12 PM (2Ez/1)

69 52 #ReleasetheCongressionalSexualHarrassmentRecords

#ReleasetheSwalwellFiles
Posted by: ace

I hope this forces them to.

Posted by: Gmac-WTF did you think was going to happen? at April 10, 2026 09:12 PM (Q/FnY)

70 Swalwell's counterstrike against Porter will be to have someone make a charge of sexual assault against her. Then cut to footage of a severly injured man encased in a body cast and noted to have been in a coma for these last couple of years.

Posted by: Orson at April 10, 2026 09:13 PM (dIske)

71 Because they submit wholly to The Cause and The Party, they cover up these incidents

No way that could happen.

Posted by: Lavrenty Beria at April 10, 2026 09:13 PM (gKWVE)

72 The one former staffer, claims a second time when she was no longer working for him. When I read the assaulted twice I was like "you kept working for him after the 1st time?"

Mind Katie the spouse abuser is an awful human being as well.

Posted by: PaleRider at April 10, 2026 09:14 PM (+89TD)

73 Cicero check this out. These are the surface conditions you want for your trips to Catalina.
Posted by: rhomboid at April 10, 2026 09:11 PM (U/Byj)

--------

Yep. The standard 4-knot wind typical of the coast south of Pt. Conception.

It's good for drinking but not so good for sailing.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at April 10, 2026 09:14 PM (+HNx/)

74 No way that could happen.
Posted by: Lavrenty Beria at April 10, 2026 09:13 PM (gKWVE)
---
NO WAY!

Posted by: Bill and Ted at April 10, 2026 09:14 PM (ZOv7s)

75 Would be nice for there to be some fratricidal retaliation by Swallwell, but we won't be so lucky. It's inconceivable that internecine carnage amongst the Dems could damage them enough that any of them in the general won't win in a walk in the general. Such is the catastrophically braindead state of enough CA voters.

Posted by: rhomboid at April 10, 2026 09:15 PM (U/Byj)

76 I'm not saying I don't believe the "I got raped by my rapist" chick, I'm saying she's dumb.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at April 10, 2026 09:16 PM (n5tGW)

77 30 23 Who holds Porter's puppet strings?

Judging from her pictures, she's going to need considerably more than strings. Hawsers, perhaps.
Posted by: Archimedes at April 10, 2026 09:03 PM (Riz8t)

----------

3-in. Steel cables.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at April 10, 2026 09:16 PM (+HNx/)

78 "Swalwell pulled out his penis in the car and asked her to perform oral sex on him. She said she did so in a parking lot."

Without benefit of booze. Why would he think he could get away with more.

Watching the spaceguys bobbing on the ocean!!

Posted by: mindful webworker - space beats politics at April 10, 2026 09:17 PM (C2uPD)

79 The PortaBeast eats tonight!

Posted by: Accomack at April 10, 2026 09:17 PM (sStKZ)

80 Katie is making some weighty accusations.

Posted by: 2009Refugee at April 10, 2026 09:17 PM (gpQ8/)

81 a/s/l

Posted by: Eric Swalwell at April 10, 2026 09:17 PM (1wjle)

82 What a creep.

Posted by: nurse ratched at April 10, 2026 09:17 PM (A5RD0)

83
The recovery team still hasn't achieved erection.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at April 10, 2026 09:18 PM (w6EFb)

84 What would it take to get a 'Katie Porter sexually assaulted me' thing going from guys?

Claims of ass-grabbing, threats, etc.

I think that'd hilarious.

Posted by: Stateless - He ain't heavy, he's my dog. Old, but full of life. at April 10, 2026 09:18 PM (Sco7b)

85 It is amazing that CA politics is just a freakshow of the worst humans on earth. Practically an inverse casting call showcasing the dregs of humanity. All with the justification being, well at least they aren't republicans. Beautiful state though.

Posted by: banana Dream at April 10, 2026 09:18 PM (3uBP9)

86 Yeah, I can get away with "taking it out" nine out of ten times, but it's that last spoilsport that ruins it.

Posted by: Uncle Pervy! at April 10, 2026 09:18 PM (oftw2)

87 I guess he missed the 2 hour required every 2 years training in sexual harassment mandated by the state.

This is my surprised face.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at April 10, 2026 09:18 PM (RIvkX)

88
R
A
P
E

He is a rapist.

Posted by: r hennigantx at April 10, 2026 09:19 PM (/+uur)

89 85 And they all get a sweet retirement package at age 62.

Posted by: bill in arkansas, not gonna comply with nuttin, waiting for the 0300 knock on the door at April 10, 2026 09:19 PM (gm9Sb)

90 47 good gravy. Sounds like Swalwell was spiking drinks to get to his 'date raping' What a bastid.
Posted by: PaleRider at April 10, 2026 09:06 PM (+89TD)

The fuqing nerve of that guy ...

Posted by: Bill Cosby PhD at April 10, 2026 09:19 PM (3sXRv)

91 78 "Swalwell pulled out his penis in the car and asked her to perform oral sex on him. She said she did so in a parking lot."

--------

You've gotta give him credit for knowing his way around a romantic gesture.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at April 10, 2026 09:19 PM (+HNx/)

92 Beautiful state though

the California state bird is the Norwegian Blue Parrot

Posted by: hello, polly! at April 10, 2026 09:20 PM (gKWVE)

93
"Swalwell pulled out his penis in the car and asked her to perform oral sex on him."

###

He took.
It out.

Posted by: Elaine at April 10, 2026 09:20 PM (2Ez/1)

94 It is kinda scary that California democrats are going to line up behind PortaBeast. But, humiliating California voters by electing horrible people is part of the kink of being a Democrat

Posted by: Accomack at April 10, 2026 09:20 PM (77Bgk)

95 Wasn't Swallwell mouthing off about Trump today?

The Trump Curse is real.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at April 10, 2026 09:20 PM (+HNx/)

96 87 I guess he missed the 2 hour required every 2 years training in sexual harassment mandated by the state.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at April 10, 2026 09:18 PM (RIvkX)

Is the training 'How to' or preventative?

Posted by: Stateless - He ain't heavy, he's my dog. Old, but full of life. at April 10, 2026 09:20 PM (Sco7b)

97 It is amazing that CA politics is just a freakshow of the worst humans on earth. Practically an inverse casting call showcasing the dregs of humanity. All with the justification being, well at least they aren't republicans. Beautiful state though.

Posted by: banana Dream at April 10, 2026 09:18 PM (3uBP9)

It does seem that way but I'm trying to figure out how much better the rest of the country's representation actually is? I'm not seeing it. Hell my local Congressional rep is one of the lowest pieces of gutter slime I've ever had the misfortune of running across. Just not well known around the country. So I wonder how much of it is just the high profile of California that makes it seem like these people are worse.

Posted by: ... at April 10, 2026 09:21 PM (vE0+H)

98 84 What would it take to get a 'Katie Porter sexually assaulted me' thing going from guys?

Claims of ass-grabbing, threats, etc.

I think that'd hilarious.
Posted by: Stateless - He ain't heavy, he's my dog. Old, but full of life. at April 10, 2026 09:18 PM (Sco7b)

Based on her disheveled Hills Have Eyes appearance, I'd say that pretty much any sexual contact with Katie is statistically likely to be involuntary. If her vibrator had AI, it would file sexual assault charges.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at April 10, 2026 09:21 PM (g/QcK)

99 Back to the Integrity...why can't they tow that to shore any faster?

Posted by: Dash my lace wigs! at April 10, 2026 09:21 PM (h7ZuX)

100 I used to think Trump was lucky. "Man, what are the odds that all of a guy's enemies turn out to be total pieces of shit?" But its almost mathematically impossible that all these shitty people could be the only ones in the Democratic Party and all hate just Trump. It's becoming more and more obvious that all Dem leaders are this way and that they hate all of us. Trump's just forced them to come out against him and then their true selves are shown to the public.

Posted by: Wally at April 10, 2026 09:21 PM (zG4BR)

101 "It's good for drinking but not so good for sailing."

Actually in all the years my friend had his cruising catamaran (35-ft Fontaine-Pajot), we often had decent wind for just fun sailing. Victory at Sea and wearing life-lines as you might find normal up in the Bay area, not to mention the temperatures, nah.

Posted by: rhomboid at April 10, 2026 09:21 PM (U/Byj)

102 "Swalwell pulled out his penis in the car and asked her to perform oral sex on him."
---------------------

"Asked"

Posted by: ... at April 10, 2026 09:21 PM (vE0+H)

103
The recovery boats have been in the water four hours now.

You go home.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at April 10, 2026 09:21 PM (w6EFb)

104 78 "Swalwell pulled out his penis in the car and asked her to perform oral sex on him. She said she did so in a parking lot."

It was Paradise By The Dashboard Lights.

Posted by: Eric Swalwell at April 10, 2026 09:22 PM (wVcYX)

105 If her vibrator had AI, it would file sexual assault charges.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at April 10, 2026 09:21 PM (g/QcK)

If her vibrator had AI, it would wish it was blind

Posted by: ... at April 10, 2026 09:22 PM (vE0+H)

106
He took.
It out.

https://youtu.be/hpwJE5DEk7U

Posted by: Obligatory Seinfeld reference at April 10, 2026 09:23 PM (2Ez/1)

107 Katie Porter, YD had a fun little post about her a while back. It was a fine use of the word 'bovine'. I wish I kept that post. It was a gem.

Posted by: Puddleglum at work at April 10, 2026 09:23 PM (gcUgZ)

108
Looks like the inflatable thingies are getting a bit turgid now. Erection is about to be achieved.

40 frogmen to get one erection.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at April 10, 2026 09:23 PM (w6EFb)

109 Best Swallwell Come-on Line: "Baby, this is how Kamala got her start."

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at April 10, 2026 09:24 PM (+HNx/)

110 He was a gentleman, taking it out for her, rather than expecting her to do everything herself.

Posted by: davidt at April 10, 2026 09:24 PM (Q+gd/)

111 Porter's hugger is C.Hunt?

Posted by: LASue at April 10, 2026 09:24 PM (lCppi)

112 The capsule will be towed to the ship later. The astronauts will be getting out soon and choppered back to the ship.

Posted by: rhomboid at April 10, 2026 09:24 PM (U/Byj)

113 It would take a heart of stone not to LOL at this douche.

Posted by: steevy at April 10, 2026 09:24 PM (YwEeS)

114 107 Katie Porter, YD had a fun little post about her a while back. It was a fine use of the word 'bovine'. I wish I kept that post. It was a gem.
Posted by: Puddleglum at work at April 10, 2026 09:23 PM (gcUgZ)

Yeah, he has to be elated. He really wants Katie to pull through.

That post was a gem. I recall him writing about her beating the help with a femur.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at April 10, 2026 09:24 PM (g/QcK)

115 Does Katie amp up the volume to Strauss' "Also Sprach Zarathustra" when she opens those thighs?

Posted by: gKWVE at April 10, 2026 09:25 PM (gKWVE)

116 There's probably ten more just like him. The dems are just jettisoning the worst of the bunch before the elections.
Now they think they can claim the moral high ground.

Posted by: Diogenes at April 10, 2026 09:26 PM (2WIwB)

117 6 The teacher's union pulled their endorsement and Shifty Schiff says he can't support Fartwell. He's done.
Posted by: Ian S.

Schiff has his own skeletons. He was a very close friend to that donor (Buck something) that was raping young black boys. Runaways mostly. Another of those 'Everyone Knew' things that magically appear and disappear as the Dems need.

Posted by: Puddleglum at work at April 10, 2026 09:26 PM (gcUgZ)

118 A few days ago, someone here linked Victor Davis Hanson's interview about how he was approached 10-15 years ago by Fang Fang. She was such an obvious honey pot that he insisted someone else be present and his office door remain open during the entirety of their short meeting.

He said only a complete fool would fall for her obvious scam... Oh, I see.

Posted by: LASue at April 10, 2026 09:26 PM (lCppi)

119 >>> It does seem that way but I'm trying to figure out how much better the rest of the country's representation actually is? I'm not seeing it. Hell my local Congressional rep is one of the lowest pieces of gutter slime I've ever had the misfortune of running across. Just not well known around the country. So I wonder how much of it is just the high profile of California that makes it seem like these people are worse.
Posted by: ... at April 10, 2026 09:21 PM (vE0+H)

I'm in GA and yeah, they are indeed terrible. I come from Kansas, and yep, also terrible. Maybe it's me?... dun dun DUUUUUHN!

But that was the conclusion at the end of O'Rourke's Parliament of Whores, it's our fault, yes they're all dirty whores, but we're their John.

Posted by: banana Dream at April 10, 2026 09:26 PM (3uBP9)

120 Elaine-He took it out
Jerry-He took what out?
Elaine-IT

Posted by: steevy at April 10, 2026 09:27 PM (YwEeS)

121 One of my Dem acquaintances had the nerve to tell me "See? We don't tolerate sex offenders in OUR party!"

He got offended and left after I howled with laughter for several minutes.

Posted by: Che Che's LadyDad at April 10, 2026 09:27 PM (xverI)

122 Does Katie amp up the volume to Strauss' "Also Sprach Zarathustra" when she opens those thighs?
Posted by: gKWVE at April 10, 2026 09:25 PM (gKWVE)

To drown out the groaning of the scissor jack? Probably...

Posted by: Joe Kidd at April 10, 2026 09:28 PM (nbLIj)

123 The only way Porter would ever get impregnated is by a veterinarian.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at April 10, 2026 09:29 PM (+HNx/)

124 Does this go on my permanent record?

Posted by: Eric Swalwell at April 10, 2026 09:29 PM (Q+gd/)

125 How long until Tucker and Candace claim Iran shot down Artemis?

Posted by: Wally at April 10, 2026 09:30 PM (zG4BR)

126 Some women can't resist themselves and need liquid courage. There's no shame unless he's married, but the shame is his.

Posted by: Rev. Wishbone at April 10, 2026 09:30 PM (Fbc0I)

127 117 6 The teacher's union

Posted by: Ian S.

The teacher's unions are known for their strong stances against sexual impropriety, putting the safety, education and well-being of the children first.

Above all.

Posted by: Stateless - He ain't heavy, he's my dog. Old, but full of life. at April 10, 2026 09:31 PM (Sco7b)

128 Anyone know why the Dems want to get rid of Swalwell

Posted by: Pooklord at April 10, 2026 09:31 PM (asU3w)

129 >>> If her vibrator had AI, it would wish it was blind
Posted by: ... at April 10, 2026 09:22 PM (vE0+H)

Reverse Harlan's novel, we hold AIs prisoner, take away their means of communication, and force them all into pleasuring Katie Porter. I Have No Mouth, And I Must Scream.

Posted by: banana Dream at April 10, 2026 09:31 PM (3uBP9)

130
FIDO is bragging that the Artemis II return trajectory was so accurate they've never seen anything like it before.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at April 10, 2026 09:32 PM (w6EFb)

131 First crew members out of Integrity!

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes. at April 10, 2026 09:32 PM (kpS4V)

132
Two crew members out.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at April 10, 2026 09:32 PM (w6EFb)

133 I guess it was a short story really, not as much as a novel.

Posted by: banana Dream at April 10, 2026 09:33 PM (3uBP9)

134 FIDO is bragging that the Artemis II return trajectory was so accurate they've never seen anything like it before.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at April 10, 2026 09:32 PM (w6EFb)

*rips off FIDO mask*

Oh, Donald Trump!

lulz all around

Posted by: Scooby Doo and the Gang at April 10, 2026 09:34 PM (dK+Kv)

135 131 First crew members out of Integrity!
Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes. at April 10, 2026 09:32 PM (kpS4V)
----
Did it smell like a full toilet?

Posted by: Chairman LMAO at April 10, 2026 09:34 PM (cWLG3)

136 A classy and luxurious recovery!

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes. at April 10, 2026 09:35 PM (kpS4V)

137 Twice? Lady, lay off the liquor!
Posted by: fd at April 10, 2026 08:58 PM (vFG9F)

He asked her for a beejer, and she obliged. That was her first mistake, right there. Did the car have no door handles?

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at April 10, 2026 09:35 PM (utfVc)

138 107 Katie Porter, YD had a fun little post about her a while back. It was a fine use of the word 'bovine'. I wish I kept that post. It was a gem.

Posted by: Puddleglum at work at April 10, 2026 09:23 PM (gcUgZ)

Maybe this is what you're thinking of. I don't remember who posted it :

"I'm pulling for Katie. She's a hideously ugly, retarded hypercunt. I love her. She barely even qualifies as human. She's a dull-eyed dairy cow, but with a spark of simian malevolence that shines dimly through the haze of perpetual bovine confusion. I bet she forgets to bathe for days at a stretch and then beats her maid with an old femur bone because everything always seems to smell bad.

She is the leader California deserves, and I just can't get enough of her."

Posted by: a.moron at April 10, 2026 09:35 PM (X5Jzz)

139
And the captain, commander Wiseman is out.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at April 10, 2026 09:35 PM (w6EFb)

140 Eric Swallwell. Backpfeifengesicht. One of Ace's favorite words. Look it up, it's in the field manual.

Posted by: bill in arkansas, not gonna comply with nuttin, waiting for the 0300 knock on the door at April 10, 2026 09:35 PM (gm9Sb)

141 No doubt Porter and her fellow dems are behind this, but it didn't look like Fartsom had enough support to push her into second place with his demise.

I guess that's just polling, though. She can manufacture some number of additional votes come election day. It doesn't even require a car trunk.

Posted by: Grudge Harbor at April 10, 2026 09:36 PM (yFLFB)

142 It would take a heart of stone not to LOL at this douche.

Posted by: steevy at April 10, 2026 09:24 PM (YwEeS)

I'm enjoying the lulz.

Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at April 10, 2026 09:37 PM (dK+Kv)

143 Speaking of chivalry, will they hoist the spacewoman up before the men? Ladies first, y'know.

Posted by: mindful webworker - holding the capsule door for her at April 10, 2026 09:37 PM (C2uPD)

144 You could have more fun in the front seat when they were bench seats. Buckets with consoles are a passion killer.

Posted by: Man About Town at April 10, 2026 09:37 PM (oftw2)

145 One of my Dem acquaintances had the nerve to tell me "See? We don't tolerate sex offenders in OUR party!"

He got offended and left after I howled with laughter for several minutes.
Posted by: Che Che's LadyDad at April 10, 2026 09:27 PM (xverI)

Ted Kennedy, Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, Anthony Weiner, Ed Murray and Joe Biden say, "hold my beer."

Posted by: LASue at April 10, 2026 09:38 PM (lCppi)

146 Speaking of chivalry, will they hoist the spacewoman up before the men? Ladies first, y'know.

Posted by: mindful webworker - holding the capsule door for her at April 10, 2026 09:37 PM (C2uPD)

Chick logjammed the space-toilet. It's every man for himself.

Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at April 10, 2026 09:38 PM (dK+Kv)

147
That's Katie Porter, the one who threw heavy objects and boiling mashed potatoes at her husband.

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at April 10, 2026 09:38 PM (n7rxJ)

148 Mission control. No overflowing ashtrays, no pocket protectors.

Posted by: bill in arkansas, not gonna comply with nuttin, waiting for the 0300 knock on the door at April 10, 2026 09:38 PM (gm9Sb)

149 There are two pictures next to the word "smarmy" in the dictionary: Swallwell and Schiff.

Posted by: Bert G at April 10, 2026 09:39 PM (VARTN)

150 Maybe this is what you're thinking of. I don't remember who posted it :

"I'm pulling for Katie. She's a hideously ugly, retarded hypercunt. I love her. She barely even qualifies as human. She's a dull-eyed dairy cow, but with a spark of simian malevolence that shines dimly through the haze of perpetual bovine confusion. I bet she forgets to bathe for days at a stretch and then beats her maid with an old femur bone because everything always seems to smell bad.

She is the leader California deserves, and I just can't get enough of her."
Posted by: a.moron at April 10, 2026 09:35 PM (X5Jzz)

That's beautiful. YD is a horde treasure.

Posted by: Dash my lace wigs! at April 10, 2026 09:39 PM (h7ZuX)

151 Why helo them out. You have speed boats right there.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at April 10, 2026 09:39 PM (n5tGW)

152 138: a.moron

LoL!! That's it! It was YD who posted it.

Posted by: Puddleglum at work at April 10, 2026 09:39 PM (gcUgZ)

153 107 Katie Porter, YD had a fun little post about her a while back. It was a fine use of the word 'bovine'. I wish I kept that post. It was a gem.

Posted by: Puddleglum at work at April 10, 2026 09:23 PM (gcUgZ)

Maybe this is what you're thinking of. I don't remember who posted it :

"I'm pulling for Katie. She's a hideously ugly, retarded hypercunt. I love her. She barely even qualifies as human. She's a dull-eyed dairy cow, but with a spark of simian malevolence that shines dimly through the haze of perpetual bovine confusion. I bet she forgets to bathe for days at a stretch and then beats her maid with an old femur bone because everything always seems to smell bad.

She is the leader California deserves, and I just can't get enough of her."
Posted by: a.moron at April 10, 2026 09:35 PM (X5Jzz)

This needs to be etched in stone. It's glorious

Posted by: LASue at April 10, 2026 09:39 PM (lCppi)

154 Did Wiseman lean over and kiss the rolling waves?

Posted by: Rev. Wishbone at April 10, 2026 09:40 PM (Fbc0I)

155
I have no doubt in my mind this man is disgusting. But this girls story is very, very questionable. I am sure they slept together. I am not sure she was an unwilling participant.
Posted by: Piper

================

I'm sure that on any day of the week, there's a sexual assault or abuse case to be made against 99% of politicians. It's just a matter of deciding when it's Go time. The danger that California's jungle primary was going to push 2 Republicans to the surface was probably the catalyst for Swalwell's takedown.

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at April 10, 2026 09:40 PM (n7rxJ)

156 So all these other Navy personnel can get back to the MURTHA just fine.

Why must the astronauts be taken by helicopter?

Posted by: I gotta ask at April 10, 2026 09:41 PM (2Ez/1)

157 Ted Kennedy, Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, Anthony Weiner, Ed Murray and Joe Biden say, "hold my beer."
Posted by: LASue at April 10, 2026 09:38 PM (lCppi)

There was a documentary called 'Weiner.' You can only find it online.

Funniest ever as his campaign and life implodes. It was great!

Posted by: Stateless - He ain't heavy, he's my dog. Old, but full of life. at April 10, 2026 09:41 PM (Sco7b)

158 Now they look as if they're adrift in a lifeboat.

Posted by: Quarter Twenty at April 10, 2026 09:42 PM (2Ez/1)

159
Gene Kranz at his console back in the glory days:

https://is.gd/jM9z5N

Kentucky Fried Chicken? Check. Pepsi? Check? Ashtray? Check.

He'll get you to the Moon and back.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at April 10, 2026 09:42 PM (w6EFb)

160 At least they're returning to the Murtha. USS Gabby Giffords wasn't available. Leak in the head.

Posted by: bill in arkansas, not gonna comply with nuttin, waiting for the 0300 knock on the door at April 10, 2026 09:43 PM (gm9Sb)

161 151 Why helo them out. You have speed boats right there.
Posted by: Guy Mohawk at April 10, 2026 09:39 PM (n5tGW)

How far from the Murtha are they? If it's miles and miles, I guess helo would be better.

Posted by: Dash my lace wigs! at April 10, 2026 09:43 PM (h7ZuX)

162 Schiff has his own skeletons. He was a very close friend to that donor (Buck something) that was raping young black boys. Runaways mostly. Another of those 'Everyone Knew' things that magically appear and disappear as the Dems need.
Posted by: Puddleglum at work at April 10, 2026 09:26 PM (gcUgZ)

Some people who claim to have been there say there were "goings on' with Schiff, that Buck guy and the gay hookers at the Standard in downtown LA. It was very specific, with dates and times, but I've now forgotten the details.

Posted by: LASue at April 10, 2026 09:43 PM (lCppi)

163 Every Congressional staffer is an immoral climber. If she thought blowing Swalwell was going to advance her cause, she'd just close her eyes and think of Obama.
That said, Swalwell is also an immoral climber and would coerce a staffer to do this.

Posted by: Wally at April 10, 2026 09:43 PM (zG4BR)

164 I think Katie and Amy Clownbutcher would make a good team for a Thelma & Louise remake. A nice May-December relationship going there. Ok, August-December.

Posted by: banana Dream at April 10, 2026 09:43 PM (3uBP9)

165 The only way Porter would ever get impregnated is by a veterinarian.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at April 10, 2026 09:29 PM (+HNx/)

On the contrary they would really need to love meat

Posted by: ... at April 10, 2026 09:44 PM (vE0+H)

166 There's no effort undertaken by mankind that can't be improved with the addition of a bunch of 50 year old white guys.

Posted by: Wisdom of the ages at April 10, 2026 09:45 PM (2Ez/1)

167 I would think the ride back in the inflatables would be pretty bumpy. After the splashdown and bobbing for the last 90 minutes, they probably want to avoid more bumps.

Posted by: nurse ratched at April 10, 2026 09:45 PM (A5RD0)

168 Nice of the astronauts to be down and out of the capsule before the ONT!

Posted by: mindful webworker - all in the timing at April 10, 2026 09:45 PM (C2uPD)

169 Can someone put YD's Bovine Homage to Porter in the side bar for posterity?

Posted by: LASue at April 10, 2026 09:46 PM (lCppi)

170 The only way Porter would ever get impregnated is by a veterinarian.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at April 10, 2026 09:29 PM (+HNx/)

On the contrary they would really need to love meat

Posted by: ... at April 10, 2026 09:44 PM (vE0+H)

The only way she is getting pounded is with a tenderizing mallet.

Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at April 10, 2026 09:46 PM (dK+Kv)

171 NASA narrator said it was considered safer (?) and faster to chopper them back to the ship. Sounded semi-lame and pretty weak, but who knows.

The disgraceful thing here is that a ship named for an incredibly stupid, incredibly corrupt, vile POS member of Congress is involved (or exists).

Murtha, who slandered the Haditha Marines (and created a nice case for undue command influence, of sorts, by doing so). Who had an entire family-centric network of gross, crude corruption set up in his district. Was on one foreign trip in a group that included him. An unpleasant, stupid piece of garbage.

Posted by: rhomboid at April 10, 2026 09:46 PM (U/Byj)

172 168 Nice of the astronauts to be down and out of the capsule before the ONT!
Posted by: mindful webworker - all in the timing at April 10, 2026 09:45 PM (C2uPD)

NASA planned for everything.

That's why now, more than ever, their funding should be doubled.

Posted by: Stateless - He ain't heavy, he's my dog. Old, but full of life. at April 10, 2026 09:47 PM (Sco7b)

173 123 The only way Porter would ever get impregnated is by a veterinarian.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at April 10, 2026 09:29 PM (+HNx/)

............

AI has two meanings!

Posted by: Molly k. at April 10, 2026 09:47 PM (j/yko)

174 >>> Can someone put YD's Bovine Homage to Porter in the side bar for posterity?
Posted by: LASue at April 10, 2026 09:46 PM (lCppi)

It's up at 138

Posted by: banana Dream at April 10, 2026 09:47 PM (3uBP9)

175 Schiff has his own skeletons. He was a very close friend to that donor (Buck something) that was raping young black boys. Runaways mostly. Another of those 'Everyone Knew' things that magically appear and disappear as the Dems need.
Posted by: Puddleglum

Ed Buck.
And he killed more than one.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at April 10, 2026 09:48 PM (Nhdgn)

176
Does Katie amp up the volume to Strauss' "Also Sprach Zarathustra" when she opens those thighs?
Posted by: gKWVE

ATTEMPT NO
LANDING THERE

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at April 10, 2026 09:48 PM (Cqx++)

177 I heard that Mitch McConnell hooked up with the skeleton display in the Anatomy classroom at the University of Kentucky. He was pretty proud of that until they told him it was a male skeleton, so he kept that incident a little secret.

At least he makes a play on people his own age.

Posted by: Orson at April 10, 2026 09:49 PM (dIske)

178 Murtha, who slandered the Haditha Marines (and created a nice case for undue command influence, of sorts, by doing so). Who had an entire family-centric network of gross, crude corruption set up in his district. Was on one foreign trip in a group that included him. An unpleasant, stupid piece of garbage.

Posted by: rhomboid at April 10, 2026 09:46 PM (U/Byj)

Now dang it rhomboid, don't mince words.
Talk to us.
Work with us.
Tell us what you really think!

Posted by: Diogenes at April 10, 2026 09:49 PM (2WIwB)

179 Kentucky Fried Chicken? Check. Pepsi? Check? Ashtray? Check.

He'll get you to the Moon and back.
Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at April 10, 2026 09:42 PM (w6EFb)

Not only an ashtray, but one of those little beanbag ashtrays.

Posted by: sal at April 10, 2026 09:49 PM (f+FmA)

180 I think Katie Perry should be slated for the next moon launch and she can shoot a new video of kiddie porn video entitled 'poon TANG.'

Posted by: Rev. Wishbone at April 10, 2026 09:50 PM (Fbc0I)

181 155 The danger that California's jungle primary was going to push 2 Republicans to the surface was probably the catalyst for Swalwell's takedown.
Posted by: Blonde Morticia at April 10, 2026 09:40 PM (n7rxJ)

Exactly, and shows how Dems always play dirty.

Posted by: Joemarine at April 10, 2026 09:51 PM (y171U)

182
Anyways, there's all this pressure on Swalwell to resign from Congress. Special election would follow, and considering Swalwell's district, they'll vote Dem harder.

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at April 10, 2026 09:51 PM (n7rxJ)

183 I’m aware this hurts the Republican chances, but Swallwell deserves this so much that I can’t help but enjoy it.

Posted by: Tom Servo at April 10, 2026 09:52 PM (txiLK)

184 Did they ever achieve erection? I kind of need some closure on this.

Posted by: banana Dream at April 10, 2026 09:52 PM (3uBP9)

185
Well, this chopper hoisting and dangling doesn't look "safer" to me. May well be quicker (how far the hell is the Murtha away from the capsule now?), I don't know.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at April 10, 2026 09:52 PM (w6EFb)

186 The astronauts and their capsule that is, not Fartwell in his car.

Posted by: banana Dream at April 10, 2026 09:53 PM (3uBP9)

187 The ship is only 3000 yards away, but jeez, it has a well deck. This looks risky.

Posted by: Quarter Twenty at April 10, 2026 09:54 PM (2Ez/1)

188 If Eric Swallwell was on the helo he'd drop the jungle penetrator. That's what he calls little Eric.

Posted by: bill in arkansas, not gonna comply with nuttin, waiting for the 0300 knock on the door at April 10, 2026 09:54 PM (gm9Sb)

189
Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at April 10, 2026 09:42 PM (w6EFb)

==============

Thanks for that! Cool pic.

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at April 10, 2026 09:55 PM (n7rxJ)

190 Well, this chopper hoisting and dangling doesn't look "safer" to me. May well be quicker (how far the hell is the Murtha away from the capsule now?), I don't know.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at April 10, 2026 09:52 PM (w6EFb)

It's probably easier and safer than expecting some exhausted astronauts to climb up the side of a ship from a bobbing zodiac, honestly.

Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at April 10, 2026 09:55 PM (dK+Kv)

191 Well, this chopper hoisting and dangling doesn't look "safer" to me. May well be quicker (how far the hell is the Murtha away from the capsule now?), I don't know.
Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at April 10, 2026 09:52 PM (w6EFb)

Since the Navy is doing the recovery, why not use a submarine? They can travel real fast under water in all kinds of weather, and could surface right under the capsule to place it high and dry on the foredeck. Then get the crew out of the capsule, take them aboard the sub, and rendezvous with the main recovery vessel.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at April 10, 2026 09:56 PM (utfVc)

192
182
Anyways, there's all this pressure on Swalwell to resign from Congress. Special election would follow, and considering Swalwell's district, they'll vote Dem harder.
Posted by: Blonde Morticia at April 10, 2026 09:51 PM

----------

Eric, don't drop out of the governor's race. Don't resign your seat in Congress. You can do this. Have a drink. Have another. Stay the course.

Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at April 10, 2026 09:57 PM (81lGU)

193 The only way she is getting pounded is with a tenderizing mallet.

Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at April 10, 2026 09:46 PM (dK+Kv)

I can't top it

Posted by: ... at April 10, 2026 09:57 PM (vE0+H)

194 The only way she is getting pounded is with a tenderizing mallet.

Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at April 10, 2026 09:46 PM (dK+Kv)

I can't top it

Posted by: ... at April 10, 2026 09:57 PM (vE0+H)

The delay shows you tried.

Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at April 10, 2026 09:58 PM (dK+Kv)

195 >>> Well, this chopper hoisting and dangling doesn't look "safer" to me. May well be quicker (how far the hell is the Murtha away from the capsule now?), I don't know.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at April 10, 2026 09:52 PM (w6EFb)

It's probably easier and safer than expecting some exhausted astronauts to climb up the side of a ship from a bobbing zodiac, honestly.
Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at April 10, 2026 09:55 PM (dK+Kv)

I could swear I've seen recoveries of ISS members from the ocean by Musk's crew and they have a big ship with a crane that plucks the whole craft up, sets it on a capsule dock on the ship deck, and then they can easily/safely get to everyone.

Posted by: banana Dream at April 10, 2026 09:58 PM (3uBP9)

196 Gee, wouldn't it be great if we all had these contests within parties to see who would do best in a general election? We could even call them... primaries!

Posted by: pookysgirl has been banging this drum for awhile at April 10, 2026 09:59 PM (Wt5PA)

197 Helo crew chiefs spraying Febrezze on astronauts. Phew.

Posted by: bill in arkansas, not gonna comply with nuttin, waiting for the 0300 knock on the door at April 10, 2026 09:59 PM (gm9Sb)

198 I could swear I've seen recoveries of ISS members from the ocean by Musk's crew and they have a big ship with a crane that plucks the whole craft up, sets it on a capsule dock on the ship deck, and then they can easily/safely get to everyone.

Posted by: banana Dream at April 10, 2026 09:58 PM (3uBP9)

Perhaps. Somebody mentioned that the Murtha has a well deck. So my estimation is flawed.

Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at April 10, 2026 09:59 PM (dK+Kv)

199 The Tank called Porter is unfortunate looking. Wow! She could use a burka. She and that Rutte fellow should mate to see the beaver toothed spawn.

I don't like Fang Fang's fomer bf and believe some of this woman's complaints against Swalwell.

However, and I ask this as someone who never had to deal with anyone but a frat boy goosing me once and regretting it: WHY would you put yourself in an position plus booze for this to happen not once but 3 times? Seriously, why?

With my known probable history of what I would have done to Weinstein had I been stupid enough to go in his hotel room, with his hideousness toad self in a robe. Welp. I would have done the same to Swallwell and he would have been Smallwell when I was done with him.

This is no exaggeration on my part, the violence if someone whipped it out in my youth. Or even now. There would be mayhem and a lot of blood and gore and pain that would not be mine.

I will also never understand the sending of photos of your junk. If anyone did this I'd probably laugh in my disgust and make sure everyone I knew saw it for the vast mocking. Then go to the police for mental disgust or something (I have no idea who to complain to). Ew!

Posted by: ChristyBlinkyTheGreat at April 10, 2026 09:59 PM (WONhk)

200 The ONT splashdown is successful.
https://acecomments.mu.nu/?post=419287

Posted by: mindful webworker - hie thee to an ONT at April 10, 2026 10:00 PM (C2uPD)

201 Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at April 10, 2026 09:58 PM (dK+Kv)

I will be totally straight with you - if I can't do it in 30 seconds, I already know I can't do it in 20 minutes.

Would you believe I am back and forth on a project!

Posted by: ... at April 10, 2026 10:00 PM (vE0+H)

202 I don't think there was any chance whatsoever of the GOP winning the California governor race. Nice thought, never going to happen.

Posted by: Puddleglum at work at April 10, 2026 10:00 PM (gcUgZ)

203 >>> Eric, don't drop out of the governor's race. Don't resign your seat in Congress. You can do this. Have a drink. Have another. Stay the course.
Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at April 10, 2026 09:57 PM (81lGU)

I'm afraid there's only one way to convince Eric to do anything and I can guarantee you're not going to like it.

Posted by: banana Dream at April 10, 2026 10:00 PM (3uBP9)

204 >> big ship with a crane that plucks the whole craft up, sets it on a capsule dock on the ship deck,

Yep, that's how SpaceX does Dragon. This is different, though.

This is the way they wanted to do it. You'll notice the Murtha has a "tail gate" at the back. They will float the Orion right up into that and hoist it aboard. But, they wanted to get the crew out first.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at April 10, 2026 10:01 PM (w6EFb)

205 Helo crew chiefs spraying Febrezze on astronauts. Phew.
Posted by: bill in arkansas, not gonna comply with nuttin, waiting for the 0300 knock on the door at April 10, 2026 09:59 PM (gm9Sb)

The Pakistani space program put Odor-Eaters in their capsule, and when they opened up after splashdown, the astronauts had vanished.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at April 10, 2026 10:02 PM (utfVc)

206 Speaking of my project there's a few rons and ettes here I want to thank for their encouragement a few months ago when I was trying to get back to it, and solicited advice. You know who you are.

Or you forgot three seconds after you did it, but it helped me, and I managed to get back and push it forward. There are some real gems here. The rest of you I could take or leave.

Posted by: ... at April 10, 2026 10:03 PM (vE0+H)

207
The rest of you I could take or leave.
Posted by: ...

===============

It's mutual!

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at April 10, 2026 10:08 PM (n7rxJ)

208 Where's a damn bathroom?

Posted by: All 4 of them at April 10, 2026 10:10 PM (2Ez/1)

209 It's mutual!

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at April 10, 2026 10:08 PM (n7rxJ)

Heyyyyy... you were one of the advice givers btw

Posted by: ... at April 10, 2026 10:11 PM (vE0+H)

210 Idea was that the jungle primary left two GOP candidates in the race, not that any GOP could beat any Dem (however vile or absurd) in a head-to-head.

Posted by: rhomboid at April 10, 2026 10:14 PM (U/Byj)

211 I forgot about that nasty cunt, Porter. She hasn't been in the news lately and I'm not a Cal resident

Posted by: SamIam at April 10, 2026 10:26 PM (cjT1m)

212 Who fucking cares? Cali is deadmans land. Why are you retarded neocons not covering Trump's upcoming bloodbath election or his backing of that freak Lindsey Graham. Oh yeah. To put in acey's language "cuz you're Losers who love to Lose."

Posted by: South and Proud!! at April 10, 2026 10:38 PM (0BqWd)

213 Geeze, the public farts would have been indictment even.

Posted by: Rosco at April 10, 2026 10:57 PM (u6tL4)

214 So he bang bang more than just fang fang with his wang wang.

Posted by: qwerty at April 10, 2026 11:54 PM (E7DRw)

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