First World Problems...

Yes, that is a Rabbit corkscrew that failed catastrophically last night. Both handles broke at once, which impressed me in a sad and depressing way.

It's a good American design, and the first versions were excellent. But (and you know what is coming) they began to save money by making them with cheaper and cheaper materials, and the end result is a good product ruined by Chinese manufacturing and bean counters in the C-suite.

I have an old one, and it is the identical design, but with better materials. It worked smoothly and with less effort compared to the plastic-and-pot-metal new one. It failed after many years, and to the company's credit they replaced it, but with an inferior one. I actually repaired it using a roll pin from an AR, and it works fine! Too bad they didn't repair it for me...that would have been truly impressive.

This speaks to our throw-away culture, and the idea that we no longer expect things to last. But it also creates a feedback loop...cheaper materials can't be repaired, so replacement becomes the norm, so repair becomes anachronistic., which drives even cheaper materials and manufacturing.

Yes, part of this is "Get Off My Lawn," because there are many industries that are building absolutely fantastic products. Criticize American car manufacturing all you want for lack of style and soul, but the cars are great. And the gun industry might be building boring-looking stuff, but they run forever!

But part of it is a serious reflection on how our society has changed. Throw-away cultures lose sight of what built them, and perhaps can no longer recover as well and as quickly from major dislocations, because of the expectation that everything is instantly replaceable.

Posted by: CBD at 02:45 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Sponge!

Posted by: rickb223 at April 05, 2026 02:50 PM (U7QMZ)

2 Hasn't been a good American made product since Craftsman corded drills and circular saws were all aluminum.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 05, 2026 02:52 PM (U7QMZ)

3 My first world problem is the Easter Bunny no longer delivers my Easter basket to my house.
He does, however, include me in the delivery to the grandkids house. So I drove up there and got to hang with the one his way to 1yo and her nearing 5yo grandkids for a bit.
Three hours and left totally exhausted, but with a nice Easter brunch in my belly. And a baggie full of basket contents, although the peeps need to stale up some.

Posted by: From about That Time at April 05, 2026 02:54 PM (sl73Y)

4 Had a Kenmore washer that lasted 27 years. New washer in the new house lasted one year before a sensor went out.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 05, 2026 02:54 PM (U7QMZ)

5 Different mindset but also business deciding that nothing should be made to last and they can sell ever cheaper replacements- which make more profit. Perverse incentive.

Windows/Microsoft is the perfect example of whee this takes you. Endless iterations on the same theme- but not keeping what works. So it just keeps getting worse.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at April 05, 2026 02:55 PM (bss/y)

6 But part of it is a serious reflection on how our society has changed. Throw-away cultures lose sight of what built them, and perhaps can no longer recover as well and as quickly from major dislocations, because of the expectation that everything is instantly replaceable.
====

Remember when you paid once for software? Or for music?

Posted by: San Franpsycho at April 05, 2026 02:56 PM (RIvkX)

7 CBD,

Glad to see you haven't been skipping "wrist curls" day!

Posted by: Pillage Idiot at April 05, 2026 02:57 PM (HlyYF)

8 Shattering corkscrews is a quiet cry for help! One doesn't have to live like this.

Posted by: Rum Dum With DTs. at April 05, 2026 02:57 PM (oftw2)

9 Selling one wine opener is revenue.

Selling a crappy one is a revenue stream.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at April 05, 2026 02:58 PM (RIvkX)

10 The plain old cork screw & bottle opener have been working just fine for 3yrs.

Posted by: Bob at April 05, 2026 02:59 PM (8fcNE)

11 I have a wine key I used when I was waiting tables in college.

Posted by: nurse ratched at April 05, 2026 02:59 PM (A5RD0)

12 Posted by: From about That Time at April 05, 2026 02:54 PM (sl73Y)

Glad you got to enjoy the time with your grandkids and had a nice brunch!

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at April 05, 2026 02:59 PM (ZeH0U)

13 4 Had a Kenmore washer that lasted 27 years. New washer in the new house lasted one year before a sensor went out.
Posted by: rickb223 at April 05, 2026 02:54 PM (U7QMZ)

Scale of 1 to 10 how simple was the original vs the new one?

That is another aspect to this: they keep wanting to add features to make things easier- but features break. The more you have, the more likely something is to break (especially with electronic controls in a washing machine. High humidity and vibration.)

The keyboard I am typing this on was made in 1991. Heavy duty. The design is inherently robust. It may lack a windows key- but who gives a fuck? It has everything else AND better because it is made for human sized hands. Number pad. Essential keys (ht pixy.) You can tell when you hit a key.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at April 05, 2026 02:59 PM (bss/y)

14 The Chinese Easter Basket green "grass/straw" was found to include new Covid strains this year. Though it could be a Mossad plot.

Posted by: For All I at April 05, 2026 03:01 PM (oftw2)

15 A long dry-wall screw will work in a pinch.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at April 05, 2026 03:02 PM (XV/Pl)

16 I don't understand.

If it's made in China, it's a 3rd world problem.

Burn them down.

Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at April 05, 2026 03:02 PM (1o8D5)

17 You know, there are wines that come in boxes.

You're welcome.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at April 05, 2026 03:02 PM (guGkK)

18 I have a Professional Screw Pull that works the same way, had it since 1997 ( was a gift), it hasn't failed

Posted by: Skip at April 05, 2026 03:02 PM (m00IZ)

19 I thought a rabbit corkscrew was something completely different.

Posted by: Use your imagination at April 05, 2026 03:02 PM (vFG9F)

20 14 The Chinese Easter Basket green "grass/straw" was found to include new Covid strains this year. Though it could be a Mossad plot.
Posted by: For All I at April 05, 2026 03:01 PM (oftw2)

The Jewish-Chinese-Communist Triangle! Find out in our secret report!

Posted by: Aetius451AD at April 05, 2026 03:02 PM (bss/y)

21 Expensive looking speculum.
Odd thing for first world problems, well, it wouldn't be a third world problem, would it?

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at April 05, 2026 03:03 PM (nXhai)

22
Selling one wine opener is revenue.
Selling a crappy one is a revenue stream.
Posted by: San Franpsycho

$3 corkscrew at the liquor store impulse cash register checkout. Lose it, no biggie, it's a POS anyway. I've tried high end wine openers that friends owned, nope. Not for me.

Posted by: BifBewalski - at April 05, 2026 03:03 PM (QVmho)

23 16 I don't understand.

If it's made in China, it's a 3rd world problem.

Burn them down.
Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey,
---

They should be on the deportation list along with the Islamists.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at April 05, 2026 03:04 PM (nXhai)

24 Christmas opened a bottle of port from 1998, it didn't work because the cork was so old. Had to filter out cork bits, but do say wine was exceptional. Have a few other that old so will try something else.

Posted by: Skip at April 05, 2026 03:05 PM (m00IZ)

25 I had a Kenmore washer that lasted 27 years. New washer in the new house lasted one year before a sensor went out.
Posted by: rickb223

I have a Bosch dishwasher that's close to its 14th birthday. It's become unreliable, messing up the wash cycles, but at this age it probably isn't worth repairing. I'll probably replace it with a new Bosch model, but I welcome recommendations.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at April 05, 2026 03:05 PM (guGkK)

26 24 Christmas opened a bottle of port from 1998, it didn't work because the cork was so old. Had to filter out cork bits, but do say wine was exceptional. Have a few other that old so will try something else.
Posted by: Skip at April 05, 2026 03:05 PM (m00IZ)

Pour through a small strainer?

Posted by: Aetius451AD at April 05, 2026 03:06 PM (bss/y)

27 Remember when you paid once for software? Or for music?

Yesterday? I have quite a bit of software I pay for; all of it is pay once, unless I choose to buy an upgrade. But that’s the way it’s always been; in fact, more of the software makers I buy from provide upgrades for free now than did so at the dawn of personal computing, probably because upgrades no longer require physical mailings.

Music purchases are doing even better. While I can see the appeal of buying access to a library (and thus renting) over buying albums or tracks, Apple maneuvered the death of forced renting two decades ago (not out of any good will, but because it looked like forced renting was going to cut the Macintosh out of the loop); online music purchases don’t even use restrictive formats anymore. They’re either unrestricted mp3 or unrestricted AAC.

And judging from my wanderings around B&N after my writing group, unrestricted vinyl LPs are booming.

Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at April 05, 2026 03:06 PM (EXyHK)

28 Scale of 1 to 10 how simple was the original vs the new one?

That is another aspect to this: they keep wanting to add features to make things easier- but features break. The more you have, the more likely something is to break (especially with electronic controls in a washing machine. High humidity and vibration.)

The keyboard I am typing this on was made in 1991. Heavy duty. The design is inherently robust. It may lack a windows key- but who gives a fuck? It has everything else AND better because it is made for human sized hands. Number pad. Essential keys (ht pixy.) You can tell when you hit a key.
Posted by: Aetius451AD

3 then. 3 now. The panel has cute light vs dials. Same amount of movement to start.
Pick cycle. Hot or cold. Water level. Start.
One was dials. Newest one has cute little light up buttons. Panel didn't go out. Sensor under the top did.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 05, 2026 03:06 PM (U7QMZ)

29 $3 corkscrew at the liquor store impulse cash register checkout. Lose it, no biggie, it's a POS anyway. I've tried high end wine openers that friends owned, nope. Not for me.
Posted by: BifBewalski
-----

Every, (not many) household kitchen item, including corkscrew, purchased at Kroger's (I don't like them anyway) grocery has been well made, functioned as intended, and long lasting.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at April 05, 2026 03:08 PM (nXhai)

30
At first glance I thought that was a photo of a handgun at the start of a restoration project. A really old handgun, with ammunition that resembles a cork.

Accompanying the low manufacturing quality of many products that used to be bullet-proof, is the growth of high-end overpriced versions that don't break so easily, that are purchased to distinguish the buyer from ordinary peasants.

Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at April 05, 2026 03:08 PM (azNOR)

31 Selling one wine opener is revenue.
Selling a crappy one is a revenue stream.
Posted by: San Franpsycho

$3 corkscrew at the liquor store impulse cash register checkout. Lose it, no biggie, it's a POS anyway. I've tried high end wine openers that friends owned, nope. Not for me.
Posted by: BifBewalski

100cc syringe. Either long 18 ga needle or one of those basting needles. Push thru cork, push air in, pop cork out.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 05, 2026 03:09 PM (U7QMZ)

32 25 I had a Kenmore washer that lasted 27 years. New washer in the new house lasted one year before a sensor went out.
Posted by: rickb223
---

You don't want sensors you want knobs that go click, click, click.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at April 05, 2026 03:10 PM (nXhai)

33 It took me years to find a decent corkscrew

Posted by: no one of any consequence at April 05, 2026 03:11 PM (qFwJc)

34 Working on an old (well old to some here but not me) truck. Some of the replacement parts come from you-know-where but will probably be ok for a non-daily drive. 91 F150 4X4 SB, 302/5spd.

Posted by: Eromero at April 05, 2026 03:11 PM (LHPAg)

35 I had a Kenmore washer that lasted 27 years.

Posted by: rickb223
-

I have a Bosch dishwasher that's close to its 14th birthday.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at April 05, 2026 03:05 PM (guGkK)
-

Our Maytag washer is in its 43rd year. The original gas dryer lasted around 25 years.

Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at April 05, 2026 03:11 PM (1o8D5)

36 100cc syringe. Either long 18 ga needle or one of those basting needles. Push thru cork, push air in, pop cork out.
Posted by: rickb223 at April 05, 2026 03:09 PM (U7QMZ)
====

But then how will I mainline black tar heroin?

Posted by: San Franpsycho at April 05, 2026 03:12 PM (RIvkX)

37 You don't want sensors you want knobs that go click, click, click.

Posted by: Braenyard

Yeah. I need to start shopping at the business level washateria sellers. Those seem to last.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 05, 2026 03:13 PM (U7QMZ)

38 The keyboard I am typing this on was made in 1991. Heavy duty. The design is inherently robust.

I recently picked up a (much more modern) click-key keyboard at an after-Christmas sale. It does feel nice. That said, it replaced an Apple keyboard (thin, with white keys) that I’d bought no later than 2009 that was still doing fine, even battery-wise. This had been at least its third computer.

Under my home server next to me, for emergency use, I have an old gray Apple USB keyboard (big, with black keys) purchased probably in 2000, and salvaged from a university computer lab. I don’t use it any more because I prefer not to have to switch keyboards, but it continues to work.

Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at April 05, 2026 03:13 PM (EXyHK)

39 You don't get this problem with boxed wine.

Posted by: Stateless - He ain't heavy, he's my dog. Old, but full of life. at April 05, 2026 03:16 PM (Sco7b)

40 Enshittification and all of its delightful facets.

Must... resist... urge... to drink.

Posted by: Additional Blond Agent, STEM Guy at April 05, 2026 03:17 PM (/HDaX)

41 91 F150 4X4 SB, 302/5spd.
Posted by: Eromero
---

You and JQ and your old Fords.
grrrrrrr

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at April 05, 2026 03:17 PM (nXhai)

42 Working on an old (well old to some here but not me) truck. Some of the replacement parts come from you-know-where but will probably be ok for a non-daily drive. 91 F150 4X4 SB, 302/5spd.
Posted by: Eromero
----------

Just received replacement hood supports (gas filled struts) for the '98 Buick. Yup, Chinesium.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at April 05, 2026 03:17 PM (XeU6L)

43 "planned obsolescence"

*spit*

Posted by: Helena Handbasket at April 05, 2026 03:17 PM (9vFyc)

44 You don't get this problem with boxed wine.

Stab the topp with a kniting needle, stik in a straw.

Posted by: Mary Clogginstein at April 05, 2026 03:18 PM (EXyHK)

45 Decided to do laundry today. Loaded detergent and clothes. Washer isn't working.

Unhappy.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at April 05, 2026 03:20 PM (CHHv1)

46 I prefer simpler engineering but also a device with leverage. I have a pocket and a drawer Screwpull that take little effort and much less risk of catastrophic failure, though I have a collection of artful antiques that still work well as backup.

Posted by: epador at April 05, 2026 03:21 PM (TRnzq)

47 I have a very basic metal corkscrew and it has an end that doubles as a bottle cap opener.

The corkscrew you have here looks cool but the quality is suspect.

Keep it simple.

: )

Posted by: Cow Demon at April 05, 2026 03:21 PM (hJH5n)

48 We have that same rabbit corkscrew. It's at least 20 years old and has never failed me. It's an excellent design and it's sad, but not surprising, that the new ones are cheaply made and don't hold up.

I hate throwaway culture. I'll pay good money for well designed and well built items but expect them to last. Our Kitchen Aid mixers are from decades ago and work perfectly. Reviews of the new ones I've read complain about how they don't compare to the older ones. They look the same but the innards are made from cheaper materials. I think of the Frigidaire refrigerator my grandparents used for over 30 years. Can't imagine a new kitchen appliance that holds up that well. One of our Nesco roasters is from the 1940s or 50s. I replaced the original cord which was cloth wound. Still works perfectly. You all get the idea.

Posted by: JTB at April 05, 2026 03:21 PM (yTvNw)

49 The world today runs on purchasing more. The need or desire to make lasting products no longer matters. Use, replace, recycle. And for new products, nothing beats quality like low price.

Posted by: Indy Bill at April 05, 2026 03:22 PM (X6hcS)

50 It lay crooked, its brass belly split like old memory, the spiral fang bent uselessly - once a gentleman’s instrument now mute.
Hands that had coaxed night’s ruby surrender found only cold metal and the echo of corks, and the room held its breath, listening to the slow, inevitable unmaking.

Posted by: Old Bill Faulkner at April 05, 2026 03:23 PM (2Ez/1)

51 My Kingdom for a Swiss Army Knife

Posted by: garrett at April 05, 2026 03:23 PM (TLp3A)

52 My first-world problem: Grilling burgers.

Mind you, I can do it, the burgers come out great.

Here's my issue: When that one sticks to the grill or falls apart. It just ruins the whole mood.
No burger left behind; casualties dampen the whole meal.

But, to get mid to mid-rare burgers requires casualties, I fear ...

(No, I'm not burning them to a hockey puck/well-done; I'm not buying cheap hamburger from a dodgy street vendor; I don't fear the reaper.)

Posted by: People's Hippo Voice at April 05, 2026 03:23 PM (HXT0k)

53 4 Had a Kenmore washer that lasted 27 years. New washer in the new house lasted one year before a sensor went out.
Posted by: rickb223 at April 05, 2026 02:54 PM (U7QMZ)

This just makes me wonder about the wisdom of "just because you can doesn't mean you should". The new models are festooned with all sorts of sensors and computer components where if just one little thing goes wrong with them...doom.

Forty years ago my parents bought a Maytag washer and dryer. In 2001 they were still operational before being bequeathed to one of my sisters. They are probably still functional somewhere.

Posted by: Cow Demon at April 05, 2026 03:24 PM (hJH5n)

54 Still not sure a trip to hardware store for a stainless bolt and nut won't fix this.

Might be at my house when get home today, or tomorrow at lest new grill parts to fix my grill.

Posted by: Skip at April 05, 2026 03:25 PM (m00IZ)

55 >When that one sticks to the grill or falls apart. It just ruins the whole mood.
###

Sittin' right here, boss.

Posted by: High Fat Bubba Burgers at April 05, 2026 03:25 PM (2Ez/1)

56 49 The world today runs on purchasing more. The need or desire to make lasting products no longer matters. Use, replace, recycle. And for new products, nothing beats quality like low price.
Posted by: Indy Bill

Or, if you’re a Native American, who cherishes the land and worships Mother Earth, then you throw your crap in the front yard.

Posted by: nurse ratched at April 05, 2026 03:26 PM (A5RD0)

57 "cheaper materials can't be repaired, so replacement becomes the norm, so repair becomes anachronistic., which drives even cheaper materials and manufacturing."

All of which goes into landfills. If things were made more durable and reparable, there'd be less stuff tossed away. Easier on Gaia in the long run.

Posted by: Occasional Commenter at April 05, 2026 03:26 PM (MV++E)

58 (No, I'm not burning them to a hockey puck/well-done; I'm not buying cheap hamburger from a dodgy street vendor; I don't fear the reaper.)

Can I have your stuff?

Posted by: Additional Blond Agent, STEM Guy at April 05, 2026 03:26 PM (/HDaX)

59 But (and you know what is coming) they began to save money by making them with cheaper and cheaper materials, and the end result is a good product ruined by Chinese manufacturing and bean counters in the C-suite.
---
No one under 40 remembers a time when everything wasn't cheap Chinesium crap that never lasted long.

Posted by: People's Hippo Voice at April 05, 2026 03:27 PM (HXT0k)

60 All of which goes into landfills. If things were made more durable and reparable, there'd be less stuff tossed away. Easier on Gaia in the long run.

There was a time when people who talked about Gaia recognized this. A significant part of the culture was about making quality things that would last forever rather than buying.

Even hippies were better made in the day…

Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at April 05, 2026 03:28 PM (EXyHK)

61 The world today runs on purchasing more. The need or desire to make lasting products no longer matters. Use, replace, recycle. And for new products, nothing beats quality like low price.
Posted by: Indy Bill

Let's not worry about market share. Let's just rape our small share as quick as possible.

Which means you no longer get families who are brand loyal. You no longer

Posted by: rickb223 at April 05, 2026 03:30 PM (U7QMZ)

62 Even hippies were better made in the day…
Posted by: Stephen Price Blair

Had the same bong since Altamont (1970). Changed the water twice.

Posted by: Mr. Natural at April 05, 2026 03:31 PM (oftw2)

63 PRESERVED CHILDREN

Take 1 large field, half a dozen children, 2 or 3 small dogs, a pinch of brook and some pebbles. Mix the children and dogs well together; put them on the field, stirring constantly. Pour the brook over the pebbles; sprinkle the field with flowers; spread over all a deep blue sky and bake in the sun. When brown, set away to cool in the bath tub.

(Found most recently in the 1952 Burns’ Treasure of Personal Recipes from V.F.W. Auxiliary No. 1328.)

Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at April 05, 2026 03:32 PM (EXyHK)

64 Had the same bong since Altamont (1970). Changed the water twice.

SH. They just don’t make bongs like they used to.

Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at April 05, 2026 03:32 PM (EXyHK)

65 36 100cc syringe. Either long 18 ga needle or one of those basting needles. Push thru cork, push air in, pop cork out.
Posted by: rickb223 at April 05, 2026 03:09 PM (U7QMZ)
====

But then how will I mainline black tar heroin?
Posted by: San Franpsycho at April 05, 2026 03:12 PM (RIvkX)

You smoke black tar, you shoot China white. Didn't you watch Miami Vice? Sheesh.

Posted by: Amateurs! at April 05, 2026 03:33 PM (TbWk/)

66 Even hippies were better made in the day…
Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at April 05, 2026 03:28 PM
For sure, a lot smarter, cleaner, better teeth. fewer nose rings and blue hair,

Posted by: Eromero at April 05, 2026 03:33 PM (LHPAg)

67 Nothing pleases me more than Trump slowly strangling the Chinesium Manufacturing economy via tariffs and cutting off their supply of cheap Iranian and Venezuelan oil.

Posted by: People's Hippo Voice at April 05, 2026 03:33 PM (HXT0k)

68 >>>When that one sticks to the grill or falls apart. It just ruins the whole mood.
###

Half an Onion, doused in oil. Scrub the pre-heated grill with it prior to putting on your burgers.

Posted by: garrett at April 05, 2026 03:33 PM (TLp3A)

69 But (and you know what is coming) they began to save money by making them with cheaper and cheaper materials, and the end result is a good product ruined by Chinese manufacturing and bean counters in the C-suite

Watching the mechanical engineers lose their minds by the things mgmt suggested in cost reduction meetings was always entertaining.

Posted by: Halfhand at April 05, 2026 03:34 PM (H5Io+)

70 >>Had the same bong since Altamont (1970). Changed the water twice.

I really wish they still made 2 foot Graffix Bongs.

Posted by: garrett at April 05, 2026 03:34 PM (TLp3A)

71 Or, if you’re a Native American, who cherishes the land and worships Mother Earth, then you throw your crap in the front yard.
Posted by: nurse ratched at April 05, 2026 03:26 PM (A5RD0)

My great uncle Kenneth used to park crap like that in the front yard.

Come to think of it, he was part Ojibwe, so I guess your point stands.

Posted by: Additional Blond Agent, STEM Guy at April 05, 2026 03:34 PM (/HDaX)

72 Half an Onion, doused in oil. Scrub the pre-heated grill with it prior to putting on your burgers.

What about putting the burger on a slice of onion? By the time the onion disintegrates, the burger should hold together on its own.

Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at April 05, 2026 03:35 PM (EXyHK)

73
56 49 The world today runs on purchasing more. The need or desire to make lasting products no longer matters. Use, replace, recycle. And for new products, nothing beats quality like low price.
Posted by: Indy Bill

Or, if you’re a Native American, who cherishes the land and worships Mother Earth, then you throw your crap in the front yard.
Posted by: nurse ratched at April 05, 2026 03:26 PM

------

Sometimes they contract to turn part of their land into a landfill.

Or put in desert resorts that water the golf course with ground water, and the water table drops fifty feet in a couple of years, and nobody can stop them because their reservation is sovereign territory.

I've come to believe that the pre-Columbus environmental destruction wrought by Indians was limited by their ability to inflict it, not by any communing with The Great Spirit.

Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at April 05, 2026 03:35 PM (azNOR)

74 For sure, a lot smarter, cleaner, better teeth. fewer nose rings and blue hair,

Oh, for the days of patchouli and cloves.

Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at April 05, 2026 03:38 PM (EXyHK)

75 I live in upscale environs. You have to put the old appliances on the back porch. The melding of Harvest Gold, Avocado, and Coppertone is lovely in the evening sunset.

Posted by: Trendy Tim at April 05, 2026 03:39 PM (oftw2)

76 Eliminated a FWP today.
I bought a bottle of Starbrite Black Streak remover for the RV. Takes the streaks right off. The seasonal battle has been won.

Posted by: Major Healey at April 05, 2026 03:39 PM (abIsI)

77 Or put in desert resorts that water the golf course with ground water, and the water table drops fifty feet in a couple of years, and nobody can stop them because their reservation is sovereign territory.

I've come to believe that the pre-Columbus environmental destruction wrought by Indians was limited by their ability to inflict it, not by any communing with The Great Spirit.
Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at April 05, 2026 03:35 PM (azNOR)

The myth of them being some sort of apex conservationists is rank nonsense. See, e.g., buffalo jumps. And the general habits of plains Indians who would park in one spot, use up all available resources, move to another spot, use up all available resources, rinse and repeat. They were like Pikeys but without caravans.

Posted by: Also the rape, pillaging and slavery but who's counting at April 05, 2026 03:40 PM (TbWk/)

78 Half an Onion, doused in oil. Scrub the pre-heated grill with it prior to putting on your burgers.

Crap. I have an Ikea onion. (Dehydrated onion bits)

It's gonna be awhile.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 05, 2026 03:40 PM (U7QMZ)

79 I've come to believe that the pre-Columbus environmental destruction wrought by Indians was limited by their ability to inflict it, not by any communing with The Great Spirit.

Reading about the history of North American Indians at least, pre-contact life appears to be the literal definition of nasty, brutish, and short. The only tribes that partially escaped this appear to be the ones who lived where no other tribes were nearby.

Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at April 05, 2026 03:41 PM (EXyHK)

80 74 For sure, a lot smarter, cleaner, better teeth. fewer nose rings and blue hair,

Oh, for the days of patchouli and cloves.
Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at April 05, 2026 03:38 PM (EXyHK)

And for chicks under 250 pounds.

Posted by: Oh the halcyon days of yore at April 05, 2026 03:41 PM (TbWk/)

81 My FWP.
Those damned personal shoppers at the grocery store! Huge carts blocking the aisle, and bitchy if you move the cart because it's blocking what you need to get.

Posted by: Diogenes at April 05, 2026 03:42 PM (2WIwB)

82 ~There was a time when people who talked about Gaia recognized this. A significant part of the culture was about making quality things that would last forever rather than buying.

Additionally, our dad's knew how to fix things. But, yeah. Start with a robust, quality item.
Remember when kids collected soda bottles to turn in for a nickel or so? Natural born recyclers...

Posted by: COMountainMarie at April 05, 2026 03:42 PM (qox2u)

83 My little protests about the throwaway culture. My favorite desktop manual typewriter is from 1939 and still works perfectly. Cast iron cookware, American made, whenever possible. We just gave our niece a cast iron skillet. She will be the third generation of the family to use it. Ball point pens and mechanical pencils that take refillable ink or leads. Many of my writing tools are over thirty years old. Our can opener is a hand crank model, not electric. Decades ago I got a backup for it. Haven't had to use the backup yet.

Like I said, little protests.

Posted by: JTB at April 05, 2026 03:43 PM (yTvNw)

84 GUMDROP CAKE

1 c. butter
1 c. sugar
2 lbs. gumdrops, cut into pieces (do not use black ones)
…

Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at April 05, 2026 03:43 PM (EXyHK)

85 Did Bers pop in to say "Yang Poon" and throw it in the trash?

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at April 05, 2026 03:44 PM (/lPRQ)

86 And for chicks under 250 pounds.
Posted by: Oh the halcyon days of yore

Trim hippie chicks in tube tops, halters, peasant blouses......

Posted by: ...Not A Bra To Be Seen at April 05, 2026 03:44 PM (oftw2)

87 Our can opener is a hand crank model, not electric.

I have never understood the appeal of electric can openers except for very specific medical needs (if you can’t twist your wrist, one might make sense). They’re less portable, more difficult to use, and require more time to use.

Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at April 05, 2026 03:45 PM (EXyHK)

88 84 GUMDROP CAKE

1 c. butter
1 c. sugar
2 lbs. gumdrops, cut into pieces (do not use black ones)
…
Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at April 05, 2026 03:43 PM (EXyHK)

This does not seem like it's gonna be an FWP...well, unless it's that you didn't get any gumdrops...so you have a forlorn recipe...

Posted by: Nova Local at April 05, 2026 03:46 PM (tOcjL)

89 87 Our can opener is a hand crank model, not electric.

I have never understood the appeal of electric can openers except for very specific medical needs (if you can’t twist your wrist, one might make sense). They’re less portable, more difficult to use, and require more time to use.
Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at April 05, 2026 03:45 PM (EXyHK)

See, I find the opposite, except for portability...I have a VERY simple electric one...and handheld ones never seem simple...

Posted by: Nova Local at April 05, 2026 03:47 PM (tOcjL)

90 This does not seem like it's gonna be an FWP...well, unless it's that you didn't get any gumdrops...so you have a forlorn recipe...

Just thought people might enjoy the admonition not to use the licorice gumdrops. These old books tended to be sparse on instructions; Mrs. John Womack presumably had strong feelings about black gumdrops… as do many Morons.

Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at April 05, 2026 03:48 PM (EXyHK)

91 I have a French brand knockoff of the Rabbit corkscrew design. The important parts are metal, but the frame and grips are a heavy, hard plastic (and yes it's fabrique en Chine). Hasn't failed on me yet in 15 years or so.

Posted by: Josie Wales at April 05, 2026 03:48 PM (cWLG3)

92 The corkscrews that give a guy some leverage are nice, but Real Men of Valor are supposed to use the simple corkscrews that just screw in, and the Real Man just puts it up to his chest and pulls the cork straight out, no extra leverage needed.

I couldn't pull one straight out like that 30 years ago, and have not tried since.

Posted by: illiniwek at April 05, 2026 03:48 PM (vbXSk)

93 He killed the Wabbit.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at April 05, 2026 03:49 PM (Cqx++)

94 >>See, I find the opposite, except for portability...I have a VERY simple electric one...and handheld ones never seem simple...

Nothing easier than the can opener on a Swiss Army Knife.

Posted by: garrett at April 05, 2026 03:50 PM (TLp3A)

95 See, I find the opposite, except for portability...I have a VERY simple electric one...and handheld ones never seem simple...

Makes sense that others would find them more useful than I do, since the market does exist. This is why neither I (nor anyone else) should be in charge of what gets made and what doesn’t.

Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at April 05, 2026 03:50 PM (EXyHK)

96 92 The corkscrews that give a guy some leverage are nice, but Real Men of Valor are supposed to use the simple corkscrews that just screw in, and the Real Man just puts it up to his chest and pulls the cork straight out, no extra leverage needed.

I couldn't pull one straight out like that 30 years ago, and have not tried since.
Posted by: illiniwek at April 05, 2026 03:48 PM (vbXSk)
----
Real Men of Sophistication use a decent waiter's corkscrew, like a Lisse.

Posted by: Chairman LMAO at April 05, 2026 03:53 PM (cWLG3)

97 Reading about the history of North American Indians at least, pre-contact life appears to be the literal definition of nasty, brutish, and short. The only tribes that partially escaped this appear to be the ones who lived where no other tribes were nearby.
---
There is a reason why American archeologists pretend we have no idea what Pre-Colombian life was like; "no records" they lie.
They know.
They don't want everyone else to know.

Do you know how nasty and brutish an existence has to be where it literally never produces civilization beyond crude artwork and weapons in 10,000 years?
It was just a constant churn of destruction of any advancement and any who advanced.

BTW, I just learned that the much boo-hoo'ed "trail of tears" never actually happened.
At least, none of the horrors the left recites.

Posted by: People's Hippo Voice at April 05, 2026 03:53 PM (HXT0k)

98 96 In the comic strip "Shoe" the wine steward has a pair of pliers on a chain around his neck.

Posted by: bill in arkansas, not gonna comply with nuttin, waiting for the 0300 knock on the door at April 05, 2026 03:56 PM (gm9Sb)

99 My folks got a toaster as a wedding gift. They still had it when I came home from the Army at 26.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Trumpy can do magic at April 05, 2026 03:56 PM (0aYVJ)

100 83 My little protests about the throwaway culture. My favorite desktop manual typewriter is from 1939 and still works perfectly. Cast iron cookware, American made, whenever possible. We just gave our niece a cast iron skillet. She will be the third generation of the family to use it. Ball point pens and mechanical pencils that take refillable ink or leads. Many of my writing tools are over thirty years old. Our can opener is a hand crank model, not electric. Decades ago I got a backup for it. Haven't had to use the backup yet.

Like I said, little protests.
Posted by: JTB at April 05, 2026 03:43 PM (yTvNw)

Just for the manual typewriter you must have strong hands. I learned to type on one.

Posted by: Cow Demon at April 05, 2026 03:57 PM (hJH5n)

101 No cork screw today as I am going with Prosecco and OJ.
Mimosas anyone???

Posted by: Diogenes at April 05, 2026 03:57 PM (2WIwB)

102 Hail and praise Schlürpo

Posted by: Cow Demon at April 05, 2026 03:57 PM (hJH5n)

103 Real Men of Valor are supposed to use the simple corkscrews that just screw in

Real Men of Compromise use wing corkscrews. Which are another example of today’s FWP topic. Great ideas, once made wonderfully, that are now made in China and break when faced with a difficult task.

I replaced my last (broken) one with a model made in Italy long ago. So far it’s been more durable, though I haven’t put it to the test of loaning it to the neighbors yet. I don’t know where they got the wine that broke my last cheap corkscrew, but it really was tightly corked.

No one was able to get it out with any of the corkscrews so far mentioned; my cheap red wing corkscrew did the job, but not before giving its life to the task.

Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at April 05, 2026 03:57 PM (EXyHK)

104 do not use black ones)
…

That's racist

Posted by: Commissar of plenty and festive little hats at April 05, 2026 03:58 PM (Kt19C)

105 This waiter's corkscrew has nice burlwood handle, https://tinyurl.com/3ff5hm64
#commissionearned as Helen Smith would say.

Posted by: Chairman LMAO at April 05, 2026 03:58 PM (cWLG3)

106 84 GUMDROP CAKE

1 c. butter
1 c. sugar
2 lbs. gumdrops, cut into pieces (do not use black ones)
…
Posted by: Stephen Price Blair
---

I just passed out.
Help, I'm on the floor and can't get up.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at April 05, 2026 03:58 PM (nXhai)

107 i found the puller on the swiss knife to be excellent. wind it down flush with the bottle lip, then pull on the longer (farther from the pivot end) to get things started. once it's budged then bob's yer uncle.
france made a nifty one that use at home called the zig zag. kind of a scissors action with multiple pivot points (ten) that simple machine multiply your leverage making it slightly easier. found used on fleabay i've not spent more than thirty lichen.

Posted by: cmeat at April 05, 2026 03:58 PM (R11M+)

108 I almost never drink wine, so this has never been a problem for me.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Trumpy can do magic at April 05, 2026 03:59 PM (0aYVJ)

109 That photo.... just criminal. Nothing even remotely related to booze should EVER fail.

Ever.

Weeps silently.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at April 05, 2026 03:59 PM (AkEZC)

110 When it comes to avoiding throwaway culture, it helps to not give a damn about 'keeping up appearances' or being 'fashionable'. I hear people talk about new fashion (clothes, appliances, electronics, furniture, cars) like it is important. By its nature, fashion is temporary, ephemeral and, basically, unimportant. Buying something, especially if expensive, just to be fashionable is wasteful and stupid. Have some backbone and self respect and buy what you want for your needs.

Posted by: JTB at April 05, 2026 03:59 PM (yTvNw)

111 Who uses a carafe for serving wine at home? To me that's next-level snootiness.

Posted by: Chairman LMAO at April 05, 2026 04:01 PM (cWLG3)

112 Get cleaned up and upstairs
FOOD NOOD

Posted by: Skip at April 05, 2026 04:01 PM (m00IZ)

113 87 I have never understood the appeal of electric can openers except for very specific medical needs (if you can’t twist your wrist, one might make sense). They’re less portable, more difficult to use, and require more time to use.

I have arthritis in my hands. But dammit, I still use a mechanical opener. Simple and easy. Just get a good one...

Posted by: COMountainMarie at April 05, 2026 04:01 PM (qox2u)

114 BTW, I just learned that the much boo-hoo'ed "trail of tears" never actually happened.
At least, none of the horrors the left recites.
Posted by: People's Hippo Voice
----

They were allowed to take their slaves with them.
More slaves died on the trip than the Cherokee.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at April 05, 2026 04:01 PM (nXhai)

115 That photo.... just criminal. Nothing even remotely related to booze should EVER fail.

Ever.

Weeps silently.
Posted by: Martini Farmer at April 05, 2026 03:59 PM (AkEZC)

***

Booze?
That's not booze.
That's wine.

*sips scotch with pinky firmly around glass*

Posted by: Diogenes at April 05, 2026 04:02 PM (2WIwB)

116 You know where there's no need for a corkscrew?

On a bottle of single malt scotch.

Posted by: rickb223 at April 05, 2026 04:02 PM (U7QMZ)

117 "My FWP. Those damned personal shoppers at the grocery store!"

The grocery store where we do most of our shopping has been undergoing a major expansion and renovation for the last 18 months. One of the best aspects of it is much wider aisles, I suspect specifically because of the curbside shoppers. It's really not much of a problem anymore.

BTW, ours aren't surly and are always helpful when I ask them where a product is. They usually know or quickly look it up on their app.

Posted by: Art Rondelet of Malmsey at April 05, 2026 04:02 PM (FEVMW)

118 BTW, ours aren't surly and are always helpful when I ask them where a product is. They usually know or quickly look it up on their app.
Posted by: Art Rondelet of Malmsey
---

That's my experience. There are more shoppers than any other employee in the isles. Always pleasant and helpful.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at April 05, 2026 04:06 PM (nXhai)

119 I got a great corkscrew!

Crowd: Whoooaaaaaaa!

Damn, this a hip crowd!

Posted by: Josephus at April 05, 2026 04:08 PM (wVcYX)

120 A final thought. Can anyone think of something that was improved by being made in China? I can't.

Posted by: JTB at April 05, 2026 04:09 PM (yTvNw)

121 Money money money. If you build something to last decades and work well, you only have two options to make more money. Make a replacement that is so compelling that people want to replace a working item..make something that is compelling enough to make people want to replace a competing product they already have. MUCH easier to make things that don't last, especially in concert with other makers who don't build anything better. That way the sales continue.

Posted by: Azjaeger at April 05, 2026 04:11 PM (3/XaG)

122 Horrible situation. This is what happens when you unknowingly procure items made from low grade, third-world cheap material and sub-standard quality control.

We regularly smashed our wine bottles on river rock and wait until the glass settled before we poured a flute, or we drank straight from the bottle.

Posted by: Rev. Wishbone at April 05, 2026 04:21 PM (Fbc0I)

123 120 norinco ak --> century
swingaway for the win.fine product.

Posted by: cmeat at April 05, 2026 04:24 PM (R11M+)

124 I'm on my second automatic transmission corkscrew, too. My first was a Williams/Sonoma which gave at least 15 years of good service, and the new one is an Oxo.

Posted by: Otto Zilch at April 05, 2026 04:49 PM (Ws2ua)

125 Well, on the bright side, next time I get a "lost" roll pin stuck in my foot, I won't have to build another AR, I can just refurb corkscrews. But then I'd need more corks, and that leads to more wine and that leads to more ARs...

Posted by: Croak at April 05, 2026 04:51 PM (YVaDw)

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