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One Small Step For The ONT. One Giant Leap For ONTkind.

Hello everyone! Pretty amazing week with the moon rocket. Loved the picture of Earth that they sent back.

texas from space.jfif

Fido Friday: To your face!


It started with food

Japan america.jfif

This week American Twitter and Japanese Twitter connected, and it's been awesome. So, Twitter added a new feature where their AI, Grok, automatically translates foreign tweets. A Japanese poster (whose name translates as “Thick Penis) posted a drawing of 3 Americans having the time of their lives at a yakiniku restaurant (Place where you grill your own food). Someone else responded with a picture of some American men around a huge grill with like 30 steaks on it that he would love to experience something like this, and the rush was on. Since we can now read these tweets, everybody started inviting him to come on over and eat. Japanese Twitter responded, and what followed was an absolute lovefest. My own tweet inviting them to come on over has over 213K views.

It. Was. Awesome. We love the Japanese and they love us. I've been on that hellsite for almost 20 years, and this was he most wholesome I've ever seen it. It was fun! We talked food, politics (Japanese Twitter hates leftists), monster trucks, sports, and made jokes.

Japan Nukes.jpg

I even saw several long and respectful discussions of WWII, and of course we talked about girls and sex.

Japanese twitter.jfif

It's been a fun, happy, enjoyable week on Twitter, and I never thought that would happen. Konnichiwa Japan! We love you guys!

Happy Easter!


Post your score

Have you ever.jfif

I got 90. 100 if I can count a brand as a tattoo.

Kinky

kinks.jpg


Musical Interlude


Texas in March

weather.JPG


Maybe not the best name for a picnic area

IMG_7514.JPG


Cool wrench


Screws

screws.jfif


Safety first

Safety first.JPG


Fishin' with the boys


Thank you for your service

Branches.JPG


Moon Bishop

diocese of the moon.jpg


Fanny pack holster

What say you? Yea or nay?

Get in shape

exercize.jpg


Florida man is back

Fla man.JPG


Pig dive!


Find yourself a way to make a pissive income

pissive income.jpg


Tonight's ONT has been brought to you by British food:

vomit.jfif

Posted by: WeirdDave at 10:00 PM




Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Good evening good people.

Posted by: Tonypete at April 03, 2026 09:59 PM (cYBz/)

2 Meow 😸

Posted by: Lurking Cheshirecat at April 03, 2026 10:01 PM (w3u3d)

3 If black eyes count as 'getting a tattoo' I'm way over 100 points btw.

Posted by: Tonypete at April 03, 2026 10:02 PM (cYBz/)

4 Shatner's horrible, wonderful cover or Rocketman lives forever in my head. Forever.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Buy ammo at April 03, 2026 10:03 PM (xcxpd)

5 Only scored an 80 on the quiz.

Never wrecked a car, nor do I have any intention of getting a tattoo.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at April 03, 2026 10:04 PM (ESVrU)

6 Of course Texas looks even bigger from space.

Now do Alaska!

Posted by: mindful webworker - panhandling panhandler at April 03, 2026 10:06 PM (/Hr+0)

7 Sorry I'm late, I was expecting the Rapture last night, so didn't set out clothes for today.

Posted by: tankdemon at April 03, 2026 10:06 PM (ZZfDb)

8 Good evening morons e grazie wd

Posted by: San Franpsycho at April 03, 2026 10:07 PM (RIvkX)

9 And I'm gonna be...HIGH....as a kite by then.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Buy ammo at April 03, 2026 10:08 PM (xcxpd)

10 Ads playing here in Seattle for loooong Covid.

Musical and toe tapping and loooooong Covid.

Posted by: nurse ratched at April 03, 2026 10:08 PM (A5RD0)

11 Today we remember that time the carpenter was killed with a hammer and nails.

Posted by: tankdemon at April 03, 2026 10:09 PM (ZZfDb)

12 >>Are we going to bomb Iran?

We are bombing Iran. Reported to be one of the heaviest nights of bombing since the start of the war.
Posted by: JackStraw


A lot of dumb iron sitting around since c. 1970 waiting to do something useful.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at April 03, 2026 10:09 PM (/lPRQ)

13 Evenin'

Posted by: Puddleglum at work at April 03, 2026 10:09 PM (xA5g+)

14 I never would have figured that man for an alligator rapist, or really any kind of rapist.

Posted by: gKWVE at April 03, 2026 10:10 PM (gKWVE)

15 Yay, ONT!

Posted by: Blanco Basura - Z28.310 at April 03, 2026 10:10 PM (+9wcF)

16 Evenin' Horde. Hope you all are having a blessed Good Friday.

Posted by: Matthew Kant Cipher at April 03, 2026 10:11 PM (kOluj)

17

Time to drop the big bomb.

Posted by: four seasons at April 03, 2026 10:11 PM (3ek7K)

18 ola o

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at April 03, 2026 10:12 PM (DZ9yr)

19 Only scored 70. I hang my head in shame.

Well, not really, but it kinda seemed like I should.

Posted by: Just Some Guy at April 03, 2026 10:12 PM (q3u5l)

20 A young mother attended services this afternoon with four very young little ones: 1, 2, 3, and 5 yrs old. She let me hold the 1 yr old while she took the other three to the ladies' room.

I did the worst thing possible, I smelled his hair.

Now, I want another one.

Posted by: Tonypete at April 03, 2026 10:12 PM (cYBz/)

21 WD, thanks for that space photo of Oklahoma's 78th county. It's biiiiig!


Seriously, thanks for the ONT!!

Posted by: LRob in OK at April 03, 2026 10:12 PM (7D3Aa)

22 Pig dive should have ended in a BBQ With the Japanese.

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at April 03, 2026 10:12 PM (uQSQI)

23 Time to drop the big bomb.

Posted by: four seasons at April 03, 2026 10:11 PM (3ek7K)
----

*** insert obligatory poop joke here ***

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at April 03, 2026 10:13 PM (ESVrU)

24 Roman centurions guarding Jesus empty tomb...took me a while to figure that out...

Posted by: Joemarine at April 03, 2026 10:13 PM (y171U)

25 80 points
(No overnight hospitalizations, unless you count that coie of days in the nursery just after birth, and no ink.)

Posted by: tankdemon at April 03, 2026 10:13 PM (ZZfDb)

26 Shatner's horrible, wonderful cover or Rocketman lives forever in my head. Forever."

Saw that years ago. It's fantastic.

Posted by: man at April 03, 2026 10:13 PM (XuXeR)

27 Quiz score 80. Never wrecked a car. No tattoo.

Posted by: Case at April 03, 2026 10:13 PM (pvf3X)

28 Whatever you do, don't sell those fanny pack holsters to Secret Service agents - they'll shoot their peckers off. Look where the barrel points.

Posted by: Archimedes at April 03, 2026 10:13 PM (Riz8t)

29 19 Only scored 70. I hang my head in shame.

Well, not really, but it kinda seemed like I should.
Posted by: Just Some Guy at April 03, 2026 10:12 PM (q3u5l)

Still passing.

I'm at 90, no tats.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Buy ammo at April 03, 2026 10:14 PM (xcxpd)

30 My score: 80

Posted by: San Franpsycho at April 03, 2026 10:14 PM (RIvkX)

31 Posted by: Joemarine at April 03, 2026 10:13 PM (y171U)

Guardians of the Galaxy 1 really was a fun movie.

Posted by: gKWVE at April 03, 2026 10:14 PM (gKWVE)

32 Ads playing here in Seattle for loooong Covid"

Bummer, that.

Posted by: man at April 03, 2026 10:14 PM (XuXeR)

33 Might there soon be an AoSHQ based in Japan? Perhaps with better shelving?

Posted by: Matthew Kant Cipher at April 03, 2026 10:15 PM (kOluj)

34 14 I never would have figured that man for an alligator rapist, or really any kind of rapist.

I'm not even sure he's human.

Posted by: Archimedes at April 03, 2026 10:15 PM (Riz8t)

35 I'm at 90, no tats."

Same. Unless you count the ballpoint pen marks that... are still there years later...

Posted by: man at April 03, 2026 10:15 PM (XuXeR)

36 Hey, Perfessor, hop in your car, take a ride, crash it (gently) and pick up 10 points.

Posted by: LRob in OK at April 03, 2026 10:15 PM (7D3Aa)

37 The Shatner clip is absolutely a classic. Classic Shat, classic 70s, classic Bowie.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at April 03, 2026 10:15 PM (RIvkX)

38 I ran out of toilet paper so I started using old newspapers. Times are rough.

Posted by: Muchas buchas at April 03, 2026 10:16 PM (CDX35)

39 Guardians of the Galaxy 1 really was a fun movie.
Posted by: gKWVE at April 03, 2026 10:14 PM (gKWVE)

Agreed. It's one of my top 5 favorite movies, somehow.
I just love it.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Buy ammo at April 03, 2026 10:16 PM (xcxpd)

40 100%

Posted by: JackStraw at April 03, 2026 10:16 PM (viF8m)

41 38 I ran out of toilet paper so I started using old newspapers. Times are rough.
Posted by: Muchas buchas at April 03, 2026 10:16 PM (CDX35

ISWHYDT

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Buy ammo at April 03, 2026 10:17 PM (xcxpd)

42
I'm stumbling on some pretty cool pictures now I've got moon fever, (lunacy?). Here's a picture of the earth and Moon together in frame taken by the Orisis-REX probe, near dead-on sideways, showing the scale of the distance. The Moon is around apogee here.

https://is.gd/99GRaI

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at April 03, 2026 10:17 PM (w6EFb)

43 90 out of 100 because I don't have a tattoo. I blame Mrs B for that.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at April 03, 2026 10:17 PM (snZF9)

44 Guys, let's not forget what Artemis is all about:

Today is the first day, in all of human history, that a woman has viewed the totality of Earth at once.

Posted by: Don Black at April 03, 2026 10:17 PM (ZxPkt)

45 90 points. No tats. I wasn't in the Navy!

Posted by: LRob in OK at April 03, 2026 10:17 PM (7D3Aa)

46 I'm with the Perfessor - 80, never wrecked a car and never getting a tattoo

Posted by: The Neon Madman at April 03, 2026 10:18 PM (yNfcm)

47 Cute Venn diagram.

But notice who's doing all the winning in Iran, hmmm?

Posted by: GWB at April 03, 2026 10:18 PM (xU46Q)

48 Shatner's version of 'Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds' is also wonderful/horrible.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Buy ammo at April 03, 2026 10:18 PM (xcxpd)

49

80. never wrecked a vehicle and no tats.

Posted by: four seasons at April 03, 2026 10:18 PM (3ek7K)

50 Hello, Horde! 😊💕

Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, AoSHQ's Plucky Wee One - Eat the Cheesecake, Buy the Yarn. at April 03, 2026 10:18 PM (SRRAx)

51 Cool wrench, indeed.

Also, I'm at 90 points unless you count my son having a bunch of tattoos. (Some of those he did himself.)

Posted by: GWB at April 03, 2026 10:19 PM (xU46Q)

52 When I was a kid, getting that transmission spline lined up with the clutch, throw out bearing and flywheel was a lot harder than, well, it was more difficult than other things.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at April 03, 2026 10:19 PM (DZ9yr)

53
Astronautette Christina sure is worried about that space toilet. She called down to Mission Control to make sure they still had a go on the terlet.

Mission control assured her she had a "blanket go" on the crapper until they said otherwise.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at April 03, 2026 10:19 PM (w6EFb)

54 I'm with the Perfessor - 80, never wrecked a car and never getting a tattoo

Same.

Posted by: Archimedes at April 03, 2026 10:19 PM (Riz8t)

55 Hey, Perfessor, hop in your car, take a ride, crash it (gently) and pick up 10 points.
Posted by: LRob in OK at April 03, 2026 10:15 PM (7D3Aa)
----
If I had to choose between one or the other, I'd choose the tattoo.

Cheaper than wrecking my car. I could get one as small as I like and put it somewhere it's unlikely to ever be seen, even by me.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at April 03, 2026 10:19 PM (ESVrU)

56 Greetings Everyone

Thank You for ONT, WD

I scored 90/100. No tats. (No tatas either....)

Enjoyed the Roman Soldiers at the tomb....

Posted by: Anonymous Rogue in Kalifornistan (ARiK) at April 03, 2026 10:20 PM (QGaXH)

57 I got 100 if you can count a cracker jack tattoo, 90 otherwise.

Posted by: banana Dream at April 03, 2026 10:20 PM (3uBP9)

58 12 more days to prepare and file your tax returns and extensions!

Posted by: Norman Rockwell at April 03, 2026 10:20 PM (wVcYX)

59 Spoken Japanese isn't all that hard a language to learn. Because it's not tonal, it can be written in Latin letters without a whole bunch of diacritical marks. The grammar is interesting and not all that hard.

Posted by: Dark Litigator at April 03, 2026 10:20 PM (KAi1n)

60
Does this earth in the window make her ass look big?

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at April 03, 2026 10:21 PM (w6EFb)

61 I got 100% depending on the definition of "tattoo." So 90%

My ass would disagree.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at April 03, 2026 10:21 PM (AkEZC)

62 Spoken Japanese isn't all that hard a language to learn. Because it's not tonal, it can be written in Latin letters without a whole bunch of diacritical marks. The grammar is interesting and not all that hard.

Plus you can order a cheeseburger and fries while sounding like you're a samurai ordering an attack on Pearl Harbor.

Posted by: Archimedes at April 03, 2026 10:22 PM (Riz8t)

63 90/100

no horses

Posted by: Don Black at April 03, 2026 10:22 PM (ZxPkt)

64 According to the NYTimes, the Democrat party is moving on from an inevitable and glorious future that will be led by women, such a the Hillary beast or klueless Kamala, to a future that will defined by candidates who are straight white men.

As an example of this new free range stud future, the NYTimes noted that Pete Buttigieg, a straight white male icon, has grown a manly beard, now wears manly flannel shirts, and splits wood with a manly maul exactly, I am assuming, like he splits ass with his personal manly maul.

Interesting.

Using that reasoning, that would make Gavin Nusince a straight white trans woman. More or less. Mostly more and less.

Posted by: Alteria Pilgram - My President has convictions. at April 03, 2026 10:22 PM (CUA6T)

65 Sorry I'm late, I was expecting the Rapture last night, so didn't set out clothes for today.
Posted by: tankdemon at April 03, 2026 10:06 PM (ZZfDb)

Wait, you expect to do the Rapture NAKED? You're not getting through the Pearly Gates dressed like that!

Posted by: GWB at April 03, 2026 10:23 PM (xU46Q)

66
It is currently 5:54 am in Tehran.

Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at April 03, 2026 10:24 PM (azNOR)

67 Had some good news locally this morning. A girl who disappeared in 1994 at the age of 13 has been found alive and well. She ran away from home and has no desire to come back, so whatever it was that she ran from must have been pretty bad.

Posted by: Blanco Basura - Z28.310 at April 03, 2026 10:24 PM (+9wcF)

68 In addition to the woman astronaut being first to view the earth outside orbit, the black "pilot" is also the first black to do so, I think.

Posted by: LRob in OK at April 03, 2026 10:24 PM (7D3Aa)

69 90, no tats. Seems to be a commonality among those here.

Posted by: davidt at April 03, 2026 10:24 PM (Q+gd/)

70 100 out of 100! Woo! What do I win?

Posted by: pookysgirl accepts quatloos at April 03, 2026 10:25 PM (Wt5PA)

71 90, no tats. Seems to be a commonality among those here.

Tats are for the under 29 set.

Posted by: Archimedes at April 03, 2026 10:25 PM (Riz8t)

72 It is currently 8:24 pm in Las Cruces. The The drug and human trafficking smugglers should be waking up just about now.

Posted by: Alteria Pilgram - My President has convictions. at April 03, 2026 10:25 PM (CUA6T)

73
Damn, this is one high maintenance space toilet. They're taking acoustic data for it while in operation. Need to analyze the sound of the flush.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at April 03, 2026 10:25 PM (w6EFb)

74 someone suggest to Christina she read up on the Erfurter Latrinensturz

Posted by: it's always Germany at April 03, 2026 10:25 PM (gKWVE)

75 90/100. No tat and assuming motorcycle get-off at 70 MPH counts as a vehicle crash even if it wasn't my fault.

Posted by: Oddbob at April 03, 2026 10:26 PM (vTZFs)

76 90 myself, no ink

Posted by: RandomDave at April 03, 2026 10:26 PM (aJQbY)

77 assuming motorcycle get-off at 70 MPH counts as a vehicle crash


Oh, it certainly does count!!

Posted by: LRob in OK at April 03, 2026 10:27 PM (7D3Aa)

78 girl who disappeared in 1994 at the age of 13 has been found alive and well

Well that's nice. Half the time they find her remains and link her with Ted Bundy.
The more I read about Bundy, the more I realize he really wasn't a nice guy

Posted by: gKWVE at April 03, 2026 10:27 PM (gKWVE)

79 That wrench! Me want much!!

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Trumpy can do magic at April 03, 2026 10:28 PM (0aYVJ)

80 The Babylon Bee
@TheBabylonBee
·
5h
Canadian Astronaut Humanely Euthanized After Suffering Light Bruise During Takeoff.

Posted by: 13times at April 03, 2026 10:28 PM (CpTFW)

81 No tat and assuming motorcycle get-off at 70 MPH counts as a vehicle crash even if it wasn't my fault.

It says "wrecked a vehicle". I assume that only counts if the vehicle was totalled.

Posted by: Archimedes at April 03, 2026 10:28 PM (Riz8t)

82 Japanese twitter has been a blast! The global Shiba Crazies have united!

Posted by: Piper at April 03, 2026 10:29 PM (Wmg4n)

83 Astronautette Christina sure is worried about that space toilet. She called down to Mission Control to make sure they still had a go on the terlet.

Mission control assured her she had a "blanket go" on the crapper until they said otherwise.
Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at April 03, 2026 10:19 PM (w6EFb)

"Astronautte"

Also, she's the only one that didn't go before they left. Like dad told them to.

Posted by: GWB at April 03, 2026 10:29 PM (xU46Q)

84
Before Christina here, the babes on the SpaceX Polaris Dawn mission, Anna Menon and Sarah Gillis, held the highest woman record at 870 miles.

Now, Christina is hands down the highest woman ever.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at April 03, 2026 10:29 PM (w6EFb)

85 38 I ran out of toilet paper so I started using old newspapers. Times are rough.
Posted by: Muchas buchas at April 03, 2026 10:16 PM (CDX35

ISWHYDT
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Buy ammo at April 03, 2026 10:17 PM (xcxpd)

Picayune Times call for Picayune measures.

Posted by: Count de Monet at April 03, 2026 10:29 PM (wVcYX)

86 90.
But how wrecked is wrecked?

Posted by: Diogenes at April 03, 2026 10:30 PM (2WIwB)

87 Now, Christina is hands down the highest woman ever.
Posted by: publius

Pfff.

Posted by: Stevie Nicks at April 03, 2026 10:30 PM (gKWVE)

88 I have tattooed eyebrows, eyelids and mouth. Which no one suspects. Do they count? I have Alice in Wonderland coloring, I need all the help I can get.

Posted by: Wenda at April 03, 2026 10:30 PM (dXTLm)

89 65 Sorry I'm late, I was expecting the Rapture last night, so didn't set out clothes for today.
Posted by: tankdemon at April 03, 2026 10:06 PM (ZZfDb)

Wait, you expect to do the Rapture NAKED? You're not getting through the Pearly Gates dressed like that!
Posted by: GWB at April 03, 2026 10

Y’all. Do not embarrass me at the pearly gates like this.

Posted by: Piper at April 03, 2026 10:31 PM (Wmg4n)

90 Chicks probably have to use the special toilet where guys can go anywhere anytime for #1. I'd make a game of how many ways and in what devices I could pee.

Also, I hope they took up a few hundred rolls of tp because damn, women go through that stuff really fast. First time I ever lived with a woman, my wife, she said "hey, I'm going to get some tp we're out". And I was like, no I bought a huge package at walmart last month. It's like a half year supply. I looked and it was gone, all of it. What,.. what did you do with all of it? [I said in horror]

Posted by: banana Dream at April 03, 2026 10:31 PM (3uBP9)

91 But how wrecked is wrecked?

That's up to your insurance company.

Posted by: Archimedes at April 03, 2026 10:31 PM (Riz8t)

92 It's funny. Those fuckers surprise attacked us, and we responded by utterly destroying their country and wiping out a generation of their young men.

80 years later we have a better relationship and more in common culturally with them than ANY of our allies from that time.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 03, 2026 10:32 PM (BI5O2)

93 But how wrecked is wrecked?
Posted by: Diogenes at April 03, 2026 10:30 PM (2WIwB)

If you had to call a tow truck or you had to tear a fender off before driving down the road.

Posted by: GWB at April 03, 2026 10:33 PM (xU46Q)

94 The pig diving vid reminded me of my paratrooper brother. He hated being the middle of the stick. He loved being the one at the door.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Trumpy can do magic at April 03, 2026 10:33 PM (0aYVJ)

95 Strangest wreck I had was about 3 years ago. I was innocently driving below the speed limit around a lake road. A whitetail doe leapt from the foliage to my right and SHE hit my truck in the side. Insurance company didn't blink. Said they had heard it before.

Posted by: LRob in OK at April 03, 2026 10:34 PM (7D3Aa)

96 Actually watched the whole Shatner Rocket Man clip. Haven't seen it in… a long, long time.

Watching it, I thought, would have liked to see him similarly cover McArthur's Park.

Posted by: mindful webworker - and I'' at April 03, 2026 10:34 PM (/Hr+0)

97 12 >>Are we going to bomb Iran?

We are bombing Iran. Reported to be one of the heaviest nights of bombing since the start of the war.
Posted by: JackStraw
----

It's Friday night and all the newsies are in the Hamptons. Hegseth and Trump turned 'em loose till Sunday morning.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at April 03, 2026 10:34 PM (DZ9yr)

98 65 Wait, you expect to do the Rapture NAKED? You're not getting through the Pearly Gates dressed like that!
Posted by: GWB at April 03, 2026 10:23 PM (xU46Q)

I was in an elegant, flowing robe with some very impressive cross stitching courtesy of my GramGram. The perfect outfit in which to greet one's creator. But, unfortunately, it is not really the type of thing one wears around town,

Posted by: tankdemon at April 03, 2026 10:34 PM (ZZfDb)

99 I was trying to figure out what was missing from the "Florida Man" photo besides discretion and a functional brain.

Coke Bottle thick Eye Glasses. Huge black frames with adhesive tape on one of the arms. I think that's what it is.

Posted by: Orson at April 03, 2026 10:35 PM (dIske)

100 Heh
Throw some crayons into that diagram and watch how crazy it gets!

Posted by: Diogenes at April 03, 2026 10:36 PM (2WIwB)

101 Quitting early tonight. Thanks for a nice ONT!

Posted by: LRob in OK at April 03, 2026 10:37 PM (7D3Aa)

102 Hmmmmmm.....

Maybe we can sow a seed into the mind of Piper:


Easter Bonnets. (Are they still a thing? Bing told me they are, but that was a few years ago.)

https://youtu.be/5uI9sQFqkoE

Posted by: tankdemon at April 03, 2026 10:38 PM (ZZfDb)

103 Strangest wreck I had was about 3 years ago. I was innocently driving below the speed limit around a lake road. A whitetail doe leapt from the foliage to my right and SHE hit my truck in the side. Insurance company didn't blink. Said they had heard it before.
Posted by: LRob in OK at April 03, 2026 10:34 PM (7D3Aa)

My old man has you beat. He was driving on Hwy. 285 and a deer leapt off a freaking cliff and landed on his hood.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 03, 2026 10:38 PM (BI5O2)

104 That "Have You Ever..." list could be more interesting.
Suggested revisions -

(Hospital)
(Vehicle)
Swam in open ocean with no boat nearby
Bucked off a horse
Ridden a tandem bicycle
Jumped out of a plane
Arrested in a foreign country
Ate a pet
Drank water from a muddy boot print or from a hole in ice
(tattoo)


Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at April 03, 2026 10:38 PM (/lPRQ)

105 Women use tp for lots of stuff not just what it's made for.

Posted by: Case at April 03, 2026 10:38 PM (pvf3X)

106 Well damnnnnn ...

I'm 10 for 10, a clean 100 on that "have you ever" test.

I forgot I have my Radiation Tattoos: one on each hip, and one on my pubic bone.

All the others were lay ups ...

Posted by: browndog says woof at April 03, 2026 10:39 PM (3sXRv)

107
God won't care what we are wearing when we arrive at the Pearly Gates.

Posted by: fourseasons at April 03, 2026 10:39 PM (3ek7K)

108 I was in an elegant, flowing robe with some very impressive cross stitching courtesy of my GramGram. The perfect outfit in which to greet one's creator. But, unfortunately, it is not really the type of thing one wears around town,
Posted by: tankdemon at April 03, 2026 10:34 PM (ZZfDb)


So...what's the word on turtlenecks?

Posted by: Diogenes at April 03, 2026 10:39 PM (2WIwB)

109

That guy trying to eat the steak with chopsticks reminds me of Chuck Schumer.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at April 03, 2026 10:39 PM (Cqx++)

110 It says "wrecked a vehicle". I assume that only counts if the vehicle was totalled.

Insurance totaled it. In fact it was only a little banged up. I could have rehabbed it for a few hundred bucks if my wife would have let me. She asked me to give it up and I agreed for her.

Posted by: Oddbob at April 03, 2026 10:39 PM (vTZFs)

111 89 Y’all. Do not embarrass me at the pearly gates like this.
Posted by: Piper at April 03, 2026 10:31 PM (Wmg4n)

You could pretend not to know me. St. Peter will understand.

Posted by: tankdemon at April 03, 2026 10:40 PM (ZZfDb)

112 I'll settle for 85/100.

Posted by: Oddbob at April 03, 2026 10:40 PM (vTZFs)

113 9/10. Never wrecked a vehicle.

Posted by: nurse ratched at April 03, 2026 10:40 PM (A5RD0)

114 37 The Shatner clip is absolutely a classic. Classic Shat, classic 70s, classic Bowie.
Posted by: San Franpsycho at April 03, 2026 10:15 PM (RIvkX

Bowie? You mean Elton John.

Posted by: Piper at April 03, 2026 10:40 PM (Wmg4n)

115 Well I never got a tattoo so I scored 90.

Posted by: wth at April 03, 2026 10:40 PM (BT3km)

116 Never wrecked a car, nor do I have any intention of getting a tattoo.
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel

Same

Posted by: vmom deport deport deport at April 03, 2026 10:41 PM (6U1c2)

117 107 God won't care what we are wearing when we arrive at the Pearly Gates.
Posted by: fourseasons

*koff*
Uh... so, this is awkward . . .

Posted by: David Carridine at April 03, 2026 10:41 PM (gKWVE)

118 The screw chart is missing the new BMW screws.

Talk about assholes, BMW takes it to a whole new level.

Posted by: browndog says woof at April 03, 2026 10:41 PM (3sXRv)

119
Watching it, I thought, would have liked to see him similarly cover McArthur's Park.
Posted by: mindful webworker

It would take two days.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at April 03, 2026 10:42 PM (Cqx++)

120 Just wait until Grok starts translating tweets from Farsi

I am looking forward to having the Persians back among the civilized.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at April 03, 2026 10:42 PM (RIvkX)

121 It's Friday night and all the newsies are in the Hamptons blowing trannies in the rent-controlled apartments they'll be trapped in for life since they can't afford to live in NYC, and can't bear to sacrifice their """elite""" status by moving. Hegseth and Trump turned 'em loose till Sunday morning.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at April 03, 2026 10:34 PM (DZ9yr)

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 03, 2026 10:42 PM (BI5O2)

122 Who else thought fanny pack holster guy was going to shoot himself in the groin?

Posted by: mindful webworker - safety on first at April 03, 2026 10:42 PM (/Hr+0)

123 I have four blue dot radiation tats. Those count, right?

Posted by: nurse ratched at April 03, 2026 10:42 PM (A5RD0)

124
111 89 Y’all. Do not embarrass me at the pearly gates like this.
Posted by: Piper at April 03, 2026 10:31 PM (Wmg4n)

You could pretend not to know me. St. Peter will understand.
Posted by: tankdemon at April 03, 2026 10:

1. I am not going to deny knowing you! That would be rude.
2. I also think God frowns on not being truthful. That would be a terrible location for such antics.

Posted by: Piper at April 03, 2026 10:43 PM (Wmg4n)

125 115 Well I never got a tattoo so I scored 90.
Posted by: wth at April 03, 2026 10:40 PM (BT3km)

___________________________

Same...I almost lost 10 points on the overnight hospital stay, but I was born in a hospital, so I likely stayed the night since I couldn't drive.

Posted by: Orson at April 03, 2026 10:43 PM (dIske)

126 90/100, no tats. I'm taking the 10 for the wrecked car since it got totalled out from being rear ended and I got some quality ER time at the Hinsdale hospital.

Also, do I get any bonus points for pencil lead still stuck in a finger since grade school?

Posted by: Additional Blond Agent at April 03, 2026 10:43 PM (/HDaX)

127 My favorite part of the Japanese-US Twitter exchange was the confused Japanese guy asking what "ni**a" meant.

Posted by: Wally at April 03, 2026 10:43 PM (fEXCD)

128 >>Strangest wreck I had was about 3 years ago.

Strangest wreck I had was sliding off I-95 in an ice storm in Maine. Middle of January and some weird combination came together and we got pouring rain and then freezing temperatures in a few minutes. Slid off the highway and took out a couple small trees by the side of the road. Totaled. A few months later the state sent me a bill for the trees.

Posted by: JackStraw at April 03, 2026 10:43 PM (viF8m)

129
Uh-oh, space toilet is no-go. Repeat toilet is no go. Damn, girl, you filled up the shitter!

Waste water dump coming up.

Somebody mentioned this the other night, and it was indeed Apollo 9 astronaut Rusty Schweickart who said there was nothing more beautiful than a urine dump at sunset.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at April 03, 2026 10:44 PM (w6EFb)

130 The pig diving vid reminded me of my paratrooper brother. He hated being the middle of the stick. He loved being the one at the door.
Posted by: Pug Mahon, Trumpy can do magic at April 03, 2026 10:33 PM (0aYVJ)

Best seat in the house because at least five guys in the plane are going to be puking. Fresh air wins every time.

Posted by: Diogenes at April 03, 2026 10:44 PM (2WIwB)

131 Never got a tattoo, but plenty of scars.

Does flying over Canada on the way to Alaska count?

Extra points for the multitude of pets we've had through the years?

Posted by: mindful webworker - 80, 90, whatever works at April 03, 2026 10:45 PM (/Hr+0)

132 Kirk was smoking because he just boinked the green chick.

Posted by: wth at April 03, 2026 10:45 PM (BT3km)

133

No horse
No pet
No tattoo

Like Robinson Ca-Rooso it's primitve as can be.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at April 03, 2026 10:45 PM (Cqx++)

134 Who else thought fanny pack holster guy was going to shoot himself in the groin?

I did. Otherwise it was way too long a video. At one point it looked like he racked the slide so I figured it was coming. Does it mean I'm a bad person if I'm disappointed?

Posted by: Oddbob at April 03, 2026 10:45 PM (vTZFs)

135 Ads playing here in Seattle for loooong Covid"

Isn't that what you get when you take Viagra while dealing withnCOVID?

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at April 03, 2026 10:46 PM (S/Y4j)

136 I scored 90.

Posted by: Piper at April 03, 2026 10:47 PM (Wmg4n)

137

It's a space toilet
Bet you weren't ready for that
It's a space toilet
I'm sure you know where it's at

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at April 03, 2026 10:47 PM (Cqx++)

138 >>Who else thought fanny pack holster guy was going to shoot himself in the groin?

Imagine my disappointment after watching the whole thing.

Posted by: JackStraw at April 03, 2026 10:47 PM (viF8m)

139 Did you see how that alligator was dressed? It was asking for it.
—Florida perv

Posted by: mindful webworker - getting some tail? at April 03, 2026 10:47 PM (/Hr+0)

140 I did laugh at the dog actually coming out to the living room to say it to the lady's face.

Posted by: tankdemon at April 03, 2026 10:48 PM (ZZfDb)

141 On average, how many Covid vaccines and boosters have the "long Covid" people had?

Posted by: Wally at April 03, 2026 10:48 PM (fEXCD)

142 It says "wrecked a vehicle". I assume that only counts if the vehicle was totalled.
+++
Insurance totaled it. In fact it was only a little banged up. I could have rehabbed it for a few hundred bucks if my wife would have let me. She asked me to give it up and I agreed for her.
Posted by: Oddbob
===

Never totaled a car on a public street, but did a snowmobile and some old 360cc motor bike. Blown engines on both.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at April 03, 2026 10:48 PM (/lPRQ)

143 That alligator things is obvious fake foreign content farm clickbait. I could look it up, but I don't need to bother.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 03, 2026 10:49 PM (BI5O2)

144 A whitetail doe leapt from the foliage to my right and SHE hit my truck in the side.

Had something similar happen in a rental car on a country road in Virginia. A deer jumped out right in front of me and I braked, swerved, somehow managed to avoid hitting it. I came to a stop on the side of the road and hyperventilated for several minutes until I was ready to drive again. Started pulling back onto the road and WHAM another deer slammed into the right side of the car.

Did serious damage to the car, though it still drove. The deer was still alive but not moving much. A nearby farmer put it out of its misery while we waited for the state police to arrive.

Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at April 03, 2026 10:49 PM (EXyHK)

145 Americans haven’t shown the Asians this much of a good time since Long Duk Dong.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at April 03, 2026 10:49 PM (6ydKt)

146 Shatner is the best
I literally loled

Posted by: vmom deport deport deport at April 03, 2026 10:51 PM (dE3DB)

147 Bowie? You mean Elton John.
Posted by: Piper at April 03, 2026 10:40 PM (Wmg4n)
====

Yeah, the other one. Thanks.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at April 03, 2026 10:51 PM (RIvkX)

148 123 I have four blue dot radiation tats. Those count, right?
Posted by: nurse ratched at April 03, 2026 10:42 PM (A5RD0)

Ink is INK ...

Posted by: browndog says woof at April 03, 2026 10:51 PM (3sXRv)

149 Swam in open ocean with no boat nearby
Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at April 03, 2026 10:38 PM (/lPRQ)

Does leaping off a warship into the ocean count?

Posted by: GWB at April 03, 2026 10:51 PM (xU46Q)

150

A U.S. Air Force A-10 Thunderbolt II reportedly crashed Friday near the Strait of Hormuz at around the same time an F-15E fighter jet was shot down in Iran.

The A-10 pilot was subsequently rescued, two U.S. officials told The New York Times.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at April 03, 2026 10:51 PM (Cqx++)

151 "My old man has you beat. He was driving on Hwy. 285 and a deer leapt off a freaking cliff and landed on his hood.
Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 03, 2026 10:38 PM (BI5O2)"

US 285? Where at?

Posted by: Additional Blond Agent at April 03, 2026 10:51 PM (/HDaX)

152 The screw chart is missing the new BMW screws.

Talk about assholes, BMW takes it to a whole new level.
Posted by: browndog

If I ever encounter those Ill replace them with 'normal' ones.

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at April 03, 2026 10:53 PM (uQSQI)

153 My score is 100. If you count multiples of those activities, it's >100.

Posted by: Butch at April 03, 2026 10:53 PM (98xTj)

154 Does leaping off a warship into the ocean count?
Posted by: GWB


Did you have to swim back to land on your own?

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at April 03, 2026 10:54 PM (/lPRQ)

155 US 285? Where at?
Posted by: Additional Blond Agent at April 03, 2026 10:51 PM (/HDaX)

Calfee Gulch, just between Pine Junction and King's Valley.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 03, 2026 10:54 PM (BI5O2)

156 152 The screw chart is missing the new BMW screws.

Talk about assholes, BMW takes it to a whole new level.
Posted by: browndog

If I ever encounter those Ill replace them with 'normal' ones.
Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at April 03, 2026 10:53 PM (uQSQI)

I think the screws have a screwy diameter too.

Not to mention that BMW probably charges $10k for the tool itself.

Posted by: browndog says woof at April 03, 2026 10:54 PM (3sXRv)

157 I scored 50 out of 100. No tattoos, my swim in the ocean was really wading in the Gulf of America (it was "Mexico," back then), but I have flown in a plane and ridden a horse.

I should get extra points for owning multiple cats -- or at least living with them. And I know I drank from the garden hose at least once or twice as a kid.

I could suggest a few more, uh, ribald life experiences for extra points. But this is a family blog. ("Yeah, the Addams Family!" "Shut up, you!")

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at April 03, 2026 10:55 PM (wzUl9)

158 Not to mention that BMW probably charges $10k for the tool itself.
Posted by: browndog says woof at April 03, 2026 10:54 PM (3sXRv)

For the stubby ones. Regular size are likely to be 15-20k each.

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at April 03, 2026 10:56 PM (S/Y4j)

159 Would having a car catch fire while you were driving it count for some points?

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at April 03, 2026 10:56 PM (wzUl9)

160 The chart is missing Apple’s special ‘Pentalobe’ screws as well.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at April 03, 2026 10:57 PM (6ydKt)

161 Meme:

It's probably just as well McDonald's never put a sirloin sandwich on the menu. It would have been a McSteak.

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at April 03, 2026 10:57 PM (S/Y4j)

162 I also think God frowns on not being truthful. That would be a terrible location for such antics.
Posted by: Piper at April 03, 2026 10:43 PM (Wmg4n)


Nothing to worry about. I'll let my wife, Morgan Fairchild, do all the talking. Yeah, that's the ticket!

Posted by: Tommy Flanagan at April 03, 2026 10:57 PM (wVcYX)

163 Who else thought fanny pack holster guy was going to shoot himself in the groin?
Posted by: mindful webworker - safety on first at April 03, 2026 10:42 PM (/Hr+0)

I assume the pair of crutches leaning next to him were from the last time he leg-shot himself.

Posted by: Idaho Spudboy at April 03, 2026 10:58 PM (gTyJl)

164 "Calfee Gulch, just between Pine Junction and King's Valley.
Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 03, 2026 10:54 PM (BI5O2)"

Ah, never drove that stretch. Closest I got was Denver on one end and Fairplay on the other. Most of my driving on 285 was in NM.

Posted by: Additional Blond Agent at April 03, 2026 10:58 PM (/HDaX)

165 That Florida guy, James Carville with a bad toupee.

Posted by: Anna Puma at April 03, 2026 10:58 PM (2GVsD)

166 How can they get away with charging thousands for a screwdriver? Just order a screw, take it to a machinist and have him make a driver for it.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 03, 2026 10:58 PM (BI5O2)

167 132 Kirk was smoking because he just boinked the green chick.
Posted by: wth at April 03, 2026

***
We saw two in the original series. You must mean Yvonne Craig, the Orion slave girl equivalent of the hot-crazy iintersection matrix.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at April 03, 2026 10:58 PM (wzUl9)

168 Swimming in the ocean with lifevest counts, right?

Posted by: vmom deport deport deport at April 03, 2026 10:59 PM (dE3DB)

169 I guess the McRib is close enough.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at April 03, 2026 10:59 PM (6ydKt)

170 I wrecked a rental car on Kauai 5 miles from the airport. Totaled. They gave me a new one. Pretty much wrecked that one too.
Wrecked another rental car in Costa Rica. That one was wrecked when we picked it up.
Wrecked a Toyota Tercel too. Broke my neck,
I should take some driving lessons maybe.

Posted by: wth at April 03, 2026 11:00 PM (BT3km)

171 Ah, never drove that stretch. Closest I got was Denver on one end and Fairplay on the other. Most of my driving on 285 was in NM.
Posted by: Additional Blond Agent at April 03, 2026 10:58 PM (/HDaX)

Good for you. The stretch between Lakewood and Bailey is one of the deadliest stretches of road in the Western world. I totaled a car on it. Practically every person who lives there has.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 03, 2026 11:00 PM (BI5O2)

172 90 here. No tattoos.

Posted by: Way Above Average. at April 03, 2026 11:01 PM (oftw2)

173 I worked for Tokio Marine Insurance for almost a decade. I'm glad they found some common ground but I learned I don't have much in common at all except liking golf.

Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at April 03, 2026 11:01 PM (V4IXI)

174 >>Did you have to swim back to land on your own?

I'm intrigued. How did you end up in the open ocean with no boat nearby and swim back to shore?

Posted by: JackStraw at April 03, 2026 11:01 PM (viF8m)

175 Anthropic filed a DMCA to kill 8,100 GitHub repos. GitHub nuked the entire network within hours including forks that had zero leaked code. The head of Claude Code had to personally go on X to apologize.

Then someone did a clean-room rewrite in Python before sunrise. DMCA cannot touch a clean-room rewrite. It hit 50K stars in 2 hours, which is the fastest repo in GitHub history. Today it officially launched as claw-code with a formal press release.

→ More stars than Anthropic's own repo
→ A Rust port already shipped release 0.1.0

The company that built its entire brand on AI safety accidentally shipped 512,000 lines of source code in a public npm package. And now the open-source version is more popular than the original.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at April 03, 2026 11:01 PM (DZ9yr)

176 It's probably just as well McDonald's never put a sirloin sandwich on the menu. It would have been a McSteak.
Posted by: Hour of the Wolf

If they made one from worms, it could be called the McBait.

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at April 03, 2026 11:01 PM (S/Y4j)

177 I have a score of 90, 100 if I can count those things you used to get in Cracker Jacks as tattoos.

Posted by: nerdygirl at April 03, 2026 11:02 PM (0Htd1)

178 100 score. I would think most guys would score 90 at least.

Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at April 03, 2026 11:02 PM (V4IXI)

179 Then Florida Alligator Man says, "Okay, now where's that Indian squaw I have to kill?"

Posted by: Idaho Spudboy at April 03, 2026 11:02 PM (gTyJl)

180 I got a 100 on the quiz, if you count a dot used as an aiming point for radiation as a tatoo. Hurt like the devil.

Posted by: javems at April 03, 2026 11:03 PM (zFsEm)

181 Thank you for the ONT.

I just watched 'Prometheus.' It was from 2012. Robot David. It wasn't that bad. Aside from "We're on a scientific mission exploring a strange planet. Leave your weapons here."

Of course, I'm small town Canada and easily impressed.

Also, since 2012, woke 'Star Wars', Star Trek Discovery, Starfleet Academy, female Doctor Who, and gay, black Doctor Who. How could 'Prometheus' not be Shakespeare un comparison?

Posted by: Stateless - He ain't heavy, he's my dog. Old, but full of life. at April 03, 2026 11:03 PM (Sco7b)

182 70.

Posted by: Boss Moss at April 03, 2026 11:03 PM (52ERr)

183 89 65 Sorry I'm late, I was expecting the Rapture last night, so didn't set out clothes for today.
Posted by: tankdemon at April 03, 2026 10:06 PM (ZZfDb)

Wait, you expect to do the Rapture NAKED? You're not getting through the Pearly Gates dressed like that!
Posted by: GWB at April 03, 2026 10

Y’all. Do not embarrass me at the pearly gates like this.
Posted by: Piper at April 03, 2026 10:31 PM (Wmg4n)

This is why I only wear togas now.

Posted by: Bilwis Devourer of Innocent Souls, I'm starvin' over here at April 03, 2026 11:03 PM (w/O5Q)

184 "Good for you. The stretch between Lakewood and Bailey is one of the deadliest stretches of road in the Western world. I totaled a car on it. Practically every person who lives there has.
Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 03, 2026 11:00 PM (BI5O2)"

Damnnnn...

Posted by: Additional Blond Agent at April 03, 2026 11:03 PM (/HDaX)

185 I'm intrigued. How did you end up in the open ocean with no boat nearby and swim back to shore?
Posted by: JackStraw


Jumped out of a plane?
Swam out past the outer reef?

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at April 03, 2026 11:03 PM (/lPRQ)

186 But how wrecked is wrecked?
That's up to your insurance company.
Posted by: Archimedes

Feb, 1978, dark night, two-lane Texas road, horses dash across, the car catches one. I was a sleeping passenger and bounced my face off the dash. (No shoulder belts.) The post between the windshield and the vent window was folded all the way down. The horse had caught on that post and was beheaded. Did not come crashing in and kick us to death. Driver had a small scratch on his arm. Glass and blood everywhere, some of it mine. Doc in Paris hospital stitched my face back together. Mostly.

I thought the car should have been totaled, but the insurance company insisted it was reparable. I guess they were right, because after repair that thing kept rolling for years afterward.

International Harvester Traveler tough. Saved my life.

So, since it wasn't totaled, does it count as wrecked?

Posted by: mindful webworker - getting some tail? at April 03, 2026 11:04 PM (/Hr+0)

187 70 on the test, btw.

Posted by: Stateless - He ain't heavy, he's my dog. Old, but full of life. at April 03, 2026 11:04 PM (Sco7b)

188 I got 95.

Posted by: runner at April 03, 2026 11:04 PM (GD0B3)

189 An anime for Weird Dave

https://youtu.be/qHD2VFyH4KQ

Posted by: Anna Puma at April 03, 2026 11:05 PM (2GVsD)

190 I stopped watching the guy holstering a pistol. He didn't shoot himself in the dick did he?

Posted by: javems at April 03, 2026 11:05 PM (zFsEm)

191 So, since it wasn't totaled, does it count as wrecked?
Posted by: mindful webworker - getting some tail? at April 03, 2026 11:04 PM (/Hr+0)

Anything beyond a fender bender is a wreck.

Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at April 03, 2026 11:07 PM (V4IXI)

192 Had I known there was going to be a test tonight, I'd have studied for it.

Posted by: Sylvan Learing Center at April 03, 2026 11:07 PM (oftw2)

193 TWITTER AND YOUTUBE DUDES TELLONG ME

THAT VALALALAHA FT Special forces guy swallowing all the Iranian schlong propaganda he can now. Still telling me Erica Kirk is a Mossas agent with a big cock n balls. It's all a shit show he says! Me say he need brain.

Tim pool says things too. But each thing is the opposite of the last. Video on Tube show as his big featureless face, beanie and ALL CAPS TITLE.

Carmine Jr says "Whatever happened there with that Sun TaZoo??"

Posted by: GigantorX at April 03, 2026 11:07 PM (F2sSv)

194 Flew a plane
Flew a horse
Rode a cheerleader
Spent the night in a yurt
Been to The Troubadour
Ate a yak

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at April 03, 2026 11:08 PM (+HNx/)

195 173 I worked for Tokio Marine Insurance for almost a decade. I'm glad they found some common ground but I learned I don't have much in common at all except liking golf.
Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at April 03, 2026 11:01 PM (V4IXI)

It’s a little different now for the younger people.
Japanese culture is really popular here; anime, manga, films, games, cosplay, J-Pop, etc.

The Japanese have always been fascinated by American culture, too.

They have more to talk about today at least.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at April 03, 2026 11:09 PM (6ydKt)

196 That list of screw types is incomplete. I have some screws with a ridiculous five-lobed star head and the driver head to match them.

I have no idea when or if I will ever see such an abomination in the stores again, but I do have 'em, and have used 'em. (I built a bowling alley with them).

Posted by: Locarno at April 03, 2026 11:09 PM (wiYsG)

197 Swimming in the ocean with lifevest counts, right?
Posted by: vmom deport deport deport
......

Only if you were sipping a cocktail.

Posted by: wth at April 03, 2026 11:09 PM (BT3km)

198 If it was 10 points per country, I would score 80 just there.

I've lost track of plane trips, that would probably total more than 200.

Posted by: Anna Puma at April 03, 2026 11:09 PM (2GVsD)

199 >>Did you have to swim back to land on your own?

I'm intrigued. How did you end up in the open ocean with no boat nearby and swim back to shore?
Posted by: JackStraw at April 03, 2026 11:01 PM (viF8m)

Well, he mentioned the jumping out of airplanes....

Posted by: GWB at April 03, 2026 11:10 PM (xU46Q)

200 That Venn diagram of the service branches left out the Coast Guard. If you run into trouble on Lake Michigan, they're there for you.

Posted by: nerdygirl at April 03, 2026 11:10 PM (0Htd1)

201 Something was eating the Donner Party that day.

Posted by: Boss Moss at April 03, 2026 11:11 PM (52ERr)

202 Also, do I get any bonus points for pencil lead still stuck in a finger since grade school?
Posted by: Additional Blond Agent

Hey, yeah, I've still got that on my left index finger. 4th grade. Must've hit an artery because there was a lot of blood for a little wound. Very sharp pencil.

Posted by: mindful webworker - tiny tat at April 03, 2026 11:11 PM (/Hr+0)

203 The Japanese have always been fascinated by American culture, too.
They have more to talk about today at least.

Posted by: SpeakingOf

I'd love to visit Japan, maybe stay for a year or two.
But they'd have to get me carry like the Road Warrior.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at April 03, 2026 11:11 PM (/lPRQ)

204 Coast Guard got demoted for some reason... no longer under DoD.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 03, 2026 11:12 PM (BI5O2)

205
This stuff can be funny with the Artemis feed on the background. Crew called down to know where the extra "hygiene towels" were. They got a reply, in Locker Echo, packed inside the unused fecal containers.

So, the packed the towels in the turd boxes.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at April 03, 2026 11:13 PM (w6EFb)

206 Department of WAR, excuse me. Still used to the old, less Kingly name.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 03, 2026 11:13 PM (BI5O2)

207 >>Well, he mentioned the jumping out of airplanes....

I was hoping it was that. Otherwise it would have been weird.

Posted by: JackStraw at April 03, 2026 11:13 PM (viF8m)

208 Japanese fascination with Western culture and its impact on anime?

Sally the Witch which was inspired by Bewitched.

In the late 1980s we had a fusion of Streets of Fire and Blade Runner that was called Bubblegum Crisis.

If you want Top Gun in space, Macross Plus is the answer.

Posted by: Anna Puma at April 03, 2026 11:16 PM (2GVsD)

209 iirc Coast Guard was Department of Transportation.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at April 03, 2026 11:17 PM (RIvkX)

210 189 An anime for Weird Dave

https://youtu.be/qHD2VFyH4KQ
Posted by: Anna Puma at April 03, 2026 11:05 PM (2GVsD)

High School of the Dead is peak trash. It's good and its trash.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Buy ammo at April 03, 2026 11:17 PM (xcxpd)

211 Leonard Nimoy did a few albums--I had "The Two Sides of Leonard Nimoy". One side was as Mr. Spock, the other Nimoy. That second side included the "Ballad of Bilbo Baggins".

Posted by: Lirio100 at April 03, 2026 11:18 PM (ky7/T)

212 Of all the Asian countries I’d enjoy Japan the most, I think.

The only drawback is I’m not big on sushi.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at April 03, 2026 11:18 PM (6ydKt)

213 If it was 10 points per country, I would score 80 just there.

I've lost track of plane trips, that would probably total more than 200.
Posted by: Anna Puma at April 03, 2026 11:09 PM (2GVsD)

Plane trips well over a few hundred, some of those at the controls. 30 different countries. (All 50 states and 3 territories/protectorates.)

Posted by: GWB at April 03, 2026 11:19 PM (xU46Q)

214 iirc Coast Guard was Department of Transportation.

----

You are correct! I thought it used to be DoD, but it never was.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 03, 2026 11:19 PM (BI5O2)

215 I just watched 'Prometheus.' It was from 2012. Robot David. It wasn't that bad. Aside from "We're on a scientific mission exploring a strange planet. Leave your weapons here."

Of course, I'm small town Canada and easily impressed.

Also, since 2012, woke 'Star Wars', Star Trek Discovery, Starfleet Academy, female Doctor Who, and gay, black Doctor Who. How could 'Prometheus' not be Shakespeare un comparison?
Posted by: Stateless - He ain't heavy, he's my dog. Old, but full of life. at April 03, 2026 11:03 PM (Sco7b)

I feel like making a 3 hour video/essay to explain just how bad Prometheus is. Maybe I already have but I lost my webzone.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Buy ammo at April 03, 2026 11:20 PM (xcxpd)

216 Finally, an accurate photo of flat Earth that puts all this "sphere" nonsense to rest.

Posted by: Sharkman at April 03, 2026 11:20 PM (/RHNq)

217 211 Leonard Nimoy did a few albums--I had "The Two Sides of Leonard Nimoy". One side was as Mr. Spock, the other Nimoy. That second side included the "Ballad of Bilbo Baggins".
Posted by: Lirio100 at April 03, 2026 11:18 PM (ky7/T)

Bilbo! Bilbo! The bravest little hobbit of them all!

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Buy ammo at April 03, 2026 11:20 PM (xcxpd)

218 Think Franpsycho is correct. Coast Guard "SWAT" (actual acronym is long, almost Soviet) shoots a lot at my range. They're finally getting some new ships.

In WWII the CG was present at major amphibious landings in both theaters.

Posted by: rhomboid at April 03, 2026 11:21 PM (U/Byj)

219 The Coast Guard is under DHS now.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at April 03, 2026 11:21 PM (6ydKt)

220 I think I scored about 190 on that due to dirt bike wrecks and hospitals.

Posted by: DBCooper at April 03, 2026 11:22 PM (/PTz1)

221 I wrote a whole blog post on how bad Prometheus was.

Posted by: Anna Puma at April 03, 2026 11:22 PM (2GVsD)

222 Had I known there was going to be a test tonight, I'd have studied for it.
Posted by: Sylvan Learing Center
......

You should be prepared for a pop quiz.

Posted by: wth at April 03, 2026 11:23 PM (BT3km)

223 The only drawback is I’m not big on sushi.
Posted by: SpeakingOf
-----------

It's not all raw fish over there, LOL. I couldn't tell you the names of all the great food dishes I had while living there, but it was mostly cooked! (I do like sushi and sashimi)



Posted by: JQ at April 03, 2026 11:23 PM (rdVOm)

224 204 Coast Guard got demoted for some reason... no longer under DoD.
Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice


Under DHS now. They were under DoT, unless war or military action, then DoD. Not sure that is still the case with DHS as the boss.

Posted by: Puddleglum at work at April 03, 2026 11:23 PM (xA5g+)

225 Tattoo? thats ten points im glad to skip

Posted by: Hokey Pokey at April 03, 2026 11:24 PM (YlWIZ)

226 Anything beyond a fender bender is a wreck.
Posted by: Harry Vandenburg

In that case I get 9 pts. Idiot hit me in the bumper enpugh to rip it off. Had to get a new bumper
No tats

Posted by: vmom deport deport deport at April 03, 2026 11:24 PM (GhIJO)

227 Think Franpsycho is correct.
=====

I will alert Mrs. F. right away. I feel like she would want to know.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at April 03, 2026 11:24 PM (RIvkX)

228 I have to agree, High School of the Dead is peak trash. As opposed to such as Upotte!, Root Search, or I My Me, Strawberry Eggs

Posted by: Anna Puma at April 03, 2026 11:24 PM (2GVsD)

229
My score is 90. I have no tattoo.

I don't see torx on that screw chart.

Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at April 03, 2026 11:25 PM (VWtfl)

230 I liked the ancient aliens seeding Earth idea in Prometheus and was quite intrigued by the first part.

It went downhill from there.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at April 03, 2026 11:26 PM (6ydKt)

231 iirc Coast Guard was Department of Transportation.

I never knew that.

Posted by: nerdygirl at April 03, 2026 11:26 PM (0Htd1)

232 Cannot recommend travel to Japan enough.

At the moment, the exchange rate is an eye-watering 160+ yen/dollar. Makes things a whole lot more comfortable, cost-wise. Because Japan has been an "expensive" country since the 80s, one of the most.

Travel to Japan a lot, one time the exchange rate was an abysmal 77 yen/dollar. I needed to get enough local to buy the bus ticket into town. The woman at the exchange kiosk looked pained, and *apologized* for the numbers when I did the exchange. The most Japanese thing imaginable.

I laughed and said "oh don't apologize it's our fault!".

Oh - and you can avoid all uncooked fish if you like, food in Japan is very good. Both Japanese, and "foreign" (European standards for Euro stuff).

Posted by: rhomboid at April 03, 2026 11:27 PM (U/Byj)

233 Alas, Bill "The Shat" Shatner wasn't much of a singer. Fortunately, he used his salary from Star Trek TOS to open "The James Tiberius Kirk School of Passionately Dramatic Over-Acting" in 1973, which has been a mainstay in Hollywood's efforts to train each new generation of thesbians, with entirely predictable results. Much to his bank account's health.

Posted by: Sharkman at April 03, 2026 11:27 PM (/RHNq)

234 I went for a swim once.

Posted by: Magnum PI at April 03, 2026 11:29 PM (CpTFW)

235 Have you ever...flew in a plane.

Naw. I hain't never flew in no plane.
Can anyone here speak this language?

Posted by: Way, Way Downriver at April 03, 2026 11:30 PM (zdLoL)

236 It's not all raw fish over there, LOL. I couldn't tell you the names of all the great food dishes I had while living there, but it was mostly cooked! (I do like sushi and sashimi)



Posted by: JQ at April 03, 2026 11:23 PM (rdVOm)

I could get by on ramen and KFC (especially at Christmas) if I had to.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at April 03, 2026 11:30 PM (6ydKt)

237 Thank G-d CG wasn't under DoT during Biden. There'd be nothing left of it after that butt-plundering retard with the fake tits for milking his gay baby declared ships to be racist, or whatever.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 03, 2026 11:30 PM (BI5O2)

238 Another list:

Been arrested
Broke a bone
Jumped from a bridge
Driven over 120mph
Rode a bull
Climbed a mountain
Rode First Class
Had a threesome
Won top prize in any raffle
Stopped a crime

Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at April 03, 2026 11:33 PM (V4IXI)

239 Classic Shat, classic 70s, classic Bowie.

That's...not Bowie. No, honestly. It is not.

Posted by: Way, Way Downriver at April 03, 2026 11:33 PM (zdLoL)

240 KFC?

Umibozu as Col. Sanders.

At Christmas, a bucket of KFC is Ryonosuke's gift and dinner from his mad scientist dad.

Posted by: Anna Puma at April 03, 2026 11:33 PM (2GVsD)

241 Nimoy's voice wasn't bad but it was better suited to the Mr. Spock tracks than it was to the Bilbo Baggins folk tunes side.

Posted by: Lirio100 at April 03, 2026 11:34 PM (ky7/T)

242 "I don't see torx on that screw chart.
Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at April 03, 2026 11:25 PM (VWtfl)"

Checked my Torx set. It's the six lobe.

Posted by: Additional Blond Agent at April 03, 2026 11:34 PM (/HDaX)

243 Harry

7/10

Posted by: nurse ratched at April 03, 2026 11:35 PM (A5RD0)

244 Among the dismissals this week at the Pentagon was the chief of the Army's chaplain corps. No official reason given, but one online commenter found the new* guide for Army chaplains, and found it to be mostly New Age swill, and "God" not mentioned very much. So there might be one reason right there.

* not sure the dismissed chief of chaplains oversaw the new guide, that's the presumption

Posted by: rhomboid at April 03, 2026 11:35 PM (U/Byj)

245 I could get by on ramen and KFC (especially at Christmas) if I had to.
Posted by: SpeakingOf
-----------

Where's your sense of adventure? LOL!

They have beef, pork, chicken, veggies too... It ain't all fish and rice, although there's a lot of that, but many restaurants do have a visual menu-- you just point at what you want. Take a chance some time.

Posted by: JQ at April 03, 2026 11:35 PM (rdVOm)

246 >>Thank G-d CG wasn't under DoT during Biden. There'd be nothing left of it after that butt-plundering retard with the fake tits for milking his gay baby declared ships to be racist, or whatever.

It's been in decline for many years. Politicians on both sides closed a bunch of stations and forgot the importance of the CG. Did the same with the merchant fleet and ship building.

Trump has committed a lot of resources to steel and ship building. Not as sexy as some of the stuff like AI but vitally important as we are seeing right now.

Posted by: JackStraw at April 03, 2026 11:36 PM (viF8m)

247 No ink, never been over the border.

Posted by: Gmac-WTF did you think was going to happen? at April 03, 2026 11:36 PM (Q/FnY)

248 My score is ninety. I have no tattoo.
And I a!m tired. Thanks for the ONT, WD.

Posted by: From about That Time at April 03, 2026 11:36 PM (sl73Y)

249 A Horde tour of Japan?

And they thought Gojira was bad...

Posted by: Anna Puma at April 03, 2026 11:37 PM (2GVsD)

250 Rocket Man is Elton John.

Posted by: Boss Moss at April 03, 2026 11:37 PM (52ERr)

251 Harry

7/10
Posted by: nurse ratched at April 03, 2026 11:35 PM (A5RD0)

Hah that's also my score.

Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at April 03, 2026 11:37 PM (V4IXI)

252 More crazy bullsh*t from The Party...

3 APRIL 2026
/
SF POLITICS
/
JAY BARMANN
Supervisor Jackie Fielder's Absence From Board of Supervisors Follows Investigation Into Leaked Memo

https://tinyurl.com/zt35mka8

Posted by: San Franpsycho at April 03, 2026 11:38 PM (RIvkX)

253 90. No tats.

Posted by: JQ at April 03, 2026 11:38 PM (rdVOm)

254 Harry's revised list?

6/10. But I've been detained twice so extra credit?

Posted by: Additional Blond Agent at April 03, 2026 11:38 PM (/HDaX)

255 Scored a 90. No tattoo. The soldiers singing Redbone cracked me up

Posted by: 496 at April 03, 2026 11:39 PM (Md1Bq)

256 💯!!

Posted by: lin-duh is offended at April 03, 2026 11:41 PM (VCgbV)

257 Have you ever

Broke a bone
Rode a bull
Rode First Class
Conjugated
Conjugated a verb
Used a part
Used a part of speech

Posted by: Way, Way Downriver at April 03, 2026 11:42 PM (zdLoL)

258 I guess I'm only moderately adventurous, 90 on the OP quiz ( no tats) but ZERO points on Harry's.

Posted by: I still can't think of anything at April 03, 2026 11:42 PM (Ndkn1)

259 I was following and researching the crisis in the US shipbuilding sector .... during Reagan's first term. It's been a very long decline.

NAVSEA (Navy's ship design/building bureau) f***ing up several new classes in rapid succession has just been the cherry on top.

Presumably this trend will now be reversed, and in time.

Posted by: rhomboid at April 03, 2026 11:42 PM (U/Byj)

260 90, no tats. Seems to be a commonality among those here.

Tats are for the under 29 set.

Posted by: Archimedes at April 03, 2026 10:25 PM (Riz8t)

Mrs B put the kibosh on my tat idea. I never really wanted one, but this one I saw I really wanted, like really wanted. I never felt like getting one since the epic kibosh. I never found another that was worth going through that shit for. Because of her I'm a double anomaly, garage full of harleys..no tats. Metal guitar player...no tats. I'm a no tat mofo.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at April 03, 2026 11:43 PM (snZF9)

261 Rhomboid

Check out Bundesmarine's F126 program.

Posted by: Anna Puma at April 03, 2026 11:44 PM (2GVsD)

262 Thanks Anna, I will.

Posted by: rhomboid at April 03, 2026 11:45 PM (U/Byj)

263 Finally, an accurate photo of flat Earth that puts all this "sphere" nonsense to rest.
Posted by: Sharkman
......

That's why aliens are afraid to land. They forgot to bring sidearms.

Posted by: wth at April 03, 2026 11:47 PM (BT3km)

264 >>Presumably this trend will now be reversed, and in time.

The Electric Boat plant at Quonset Point is hiring as fast as they can. Advertising with offers of full training and really good money.

Posted by: JackStraw at April 03, 2026 11:47 PM (viF8m)

265 Rhomboid

Everyone's favourite EU bureaucrat Ursula van der Lyden started the program when she was just a threat to Germany. This year was supposed to see the first ship delivered, that has now been pushed back to 2031 and Germany has had to order from the losing bidder an interim design.

But the F127 will be totes awesome.

Posted by: Anna Puma at April 03, 2026 11:48 PM (2GVsD)

266 Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at April 03, 2026 11:43 PM (snZF9)

That was the one thing I noticed about early Metallic but then Hetfield decided to get all tatted up.

Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at April 03, 2026 11:49 PM (V4IXI)

267
144 A whitetail doe leapt from the foliage to my right and SHE hit my truck in the side.

Had something similar happen in a rental car on a country road in Virginia. A deer jumped out right in front of me and I braked, swerved, somehow managed to avoid hitting it. I came to a stop on the side of the road and hyperventilated for several minutes until I was ready to drive again. Started pulling back onto the road and WHAM another deer slammed into the right side of the car.

Did serious damage to the car, though it still drove. The deer was still alive but not moving much. A nearby farmer put it out of its misery while we waited for the state police to arrive.
Posted by: Stephen Price Blair
--------

My wife was driving in redwood country (I was in the passenger seat) and hit a female deer. Several
cars were coming uphill in the opposite direction and the deer leapt out from behind the last one. A couple of local guys were in a truck behind us, and one of them cut the deer's throat with a folding knife to finish it. I guess they ate it. Minimal damage, some displaced plastic moulding that rubbed on a front wheel, so I pulled out the plastic and threw it away. Kept driving.

Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at April 03, 2026 11:49 PM (VWtfl)

268 I'm a double anomaly, garage full of harleys..no tats. Metal guitar player...no tats. I'm a no tat mofo.
Posted by: Berserker
----------

Welcome! All are welcome to The Ranks of the Conspicuously Unmarked!

*cheers!*

Posted by: JQ at April 03, 2026 11:52 PM (rdVOm)

269 If you count # of wrecked vehicles, I would be 170, totaled would cut me down to 140. My family was amazed that I lived past 25.
Even without that, I score 100, but don't tell my wife.

Posted by: buddhaha at April 03, 2026 11:53 PM (WClkB)

270 Action movie edition
Have you ever:

Been hit by a vehicle
Been hospitalized due to a vehicular accident
Witnessed a mugging / violent assault/ stabbing/ shooting / kidnapping
Been mugged / assaulted /kidnapped
Witnessed a riot / civil uprising / military coup
Been in a stampeding crowd

Posted by: vmom deport deport deport at April 03, 2026 11:54 PM (GhIJO)

271 Never had a pet as an adult. No tattoo. No foreign travel.

Posted by: Boss Moss at April 03, 2026 11:54 PM (52ERr)

272 I save so much time trusting you guys opinions on TV shows and not watching them myself.
Promethius sucks.
And I have no idea what it is.

Posted by: Reforger at April 03, 2026 11:54 PM (SCCU1)

273 Hi everyone, welcome to the weekend. I mentioned this elsewhere but thought I would say it here where it is most relevant.

Moronettes...I don't understand makeup. As far as I'm concerned, y'all look better without it.

In the animal world, it's usually the male that has to dress up and dance.

(Apologies to the cosmetics industry.)

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at April 03, 2026 11:55 PM (CHHv1)

274
Evening, all.

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at April 03, 2026 11:56 PM (n7rxJ)

275 I guess they ate it.

The Virginia state police officer asked if I wanted to keep the deer. Since I had flown out I asked the farmer and his wife if they wanted it. The cop had the forms and I signed it over to him.

This would have been around 1998 or so. No idea if they still do it that way.

Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at April 03, 2026 11:56 PM (EXyHK)

276 @270: if each one is worth 10 points I score zero

Posted by: 496 at April 03, 2026 11:56 PM (zs22P)

277
11:58:42 EDT. Artemis hit the halfway point. Artemis is now closer to the Moon than the Erf. I was wondering if it would make if before midnight. It did just barely.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at April 03, 2026 11:59 PM (w6EFb)

278 Howdy, BeckoningChasm!

I gave up on wearing makeup, long time ago. (I've always been a spaz about hairstyles, makeup, nail care...) It's just another expense that I can't justify.

Posted by: JQ at April 04, 2026 12:00 AM (rdVOm)

279 In my county --don't know if all of Idaho is this way-- if you hit/kill a deer, you may harvest the meat. If you don't want it, the PD has a list of locals who would, and will call until they find someone to take it.

Posted by: JQ at April 04, 2026 12:03 AM (rdVOm)

280
I swear that toilet. They're now talking about a "burnt smell" from the damned thing sometimes.

Mission control is "scratching their heads"...

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at April 04, 2026 12:05 AM (w6EFb)

281 With a little more time, we can easily OPEN THE HORMUZ STRAIT, TAKE THE OIL, & MAKE A FORTUNE. IT WOULD BE A "GUSHER" FOR THE WORLD???
_President DONALD J. TRUMP

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at April 04, 2026 12:07 AM (DZ9yr)

282 Japan is into tentacles. You can teach your children all about it.

Posted by: Kurt Eichenwald at April 04, 2026 12:07 AM (lesDH)

283
JQ,

I don't own makeup of any kind. I cut my hair and sometimes it's not good, lol.

I wear a ball cap if I fucked it up.

Posted by: fourseasons at April 04, 2026 12:08 AM (3ek7K)

284 Sorry I'm late, not that anyone missed me. I was listening to music.

My score: 90.

I can do all the stuff in the other test except give up. Altho I came close a few weeks ago from a baby cold. She only weighs 18lbs so you'd think I could handle it. She was fine.

Maybe Japan AND Alberta and Greenland can become states? I love what that lady said about British breakfasts. So cool to bond over steaks.

The UK is a memory in the past as the go full eeslam with King Flappy Ears Wants to be a Tampax in Camilla. I had no idea he was such a weenie to eeslam. Not that I give two hoots about the royal family except the Princess of Wales' clothing and their kids. I guess William, if he's Christian.

Things are better today for me as son & DIL seem to be doing surprisingly well with her miscarriage. Therefore I am doing well today and thankful for prayers from strangers and the care and kindness of friends and family in FL.

My granddaughter (who is insane and barely 5yrs) called me from the Atlanta airport. Had no idea where she was but she likes to talk to me on the phone. About nothing. Which is basically this post.

Blessings to all this Good Friday, and find a church on Sunday. XXXX

Posted by: ChristyBlinkyTheGreat at April 04, 2026 12:10 AM (WONhk)

285 OMG! why don't all adjustable wrenches work that way.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at April 04, 2026 12:11 AM (n5tGW)

286 If adjustable wrenches would stay adjusted.

Posted by: Boss Moss at April 04, 2026 12:13 AM (52ERr)

287 food in Japan is very good. Both Japanese, and "foreign" (European standards for Euro stuff).
Posted by: rhomboid

It's the inverse of Chinese food. Whereas with Chinese food you're famished an hour after chowing down, with Japanese food you're famished during the hour it takes to perfectly present each part of the meal, admire it, contemplate its essence, and slowly let it become one with your inner spirit.

Posted by: Dark Litigator at April 04, 2026 12:13 AM (KAi1n)

288 Also...the Marines (or my father) made fun of everyone except the Navy. I think he worked with them from the islands as it is all unclear to me, altho he explained it. He mostly explained how to make a still to ferment stuff.

Then he moved on to making fun of everyone else he met the rest of his life. Including me.

Posted by: ChristyBlinkyTheGreat at April 04, 2026 12:14 AM (WONhk)

289 I hit a deer about 10 years ago in VT at 4 in the morning. A cop was sitting by the side of the road just up the street so he came and dispatched it and called it in. He said I could take it if I wanted it, and if I didn't there were probably enough guys listening to their scanners that it'd be gone before I made it 5 miles. Ironically enough, sunup that day was the first day of deer season.

Posted by: 496 at April 04, 2026 12:14 AM (l/++U)

290 I wear a ball cap if I fucked it up.
Posted by: fourseasons
--------

Hah! That makes my night! I've *trimmed* my own hair a few times, just to even up the back and get rid of split ends. Getting ready to try the sides..

My former hairguy retired a few years ago & and I'm afraid, very afraid, of having to pay for so many shitty haircuts before finding another good one.

Posted by: JQ at April 04, 2026 12:15 AM (rdVOm)

291 When I was in college (about the last time I was around many females) I always noted how much prettier said females looked without face paint. They were kind of "sure, thanks, whatever."

I understand, like tattoos, it's a choice I have no quarrel with, I just prefer without.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at April 04, 2026 12:15 AM (CHHv1)

292 Moronettes...I don't understand makeup. As far as I'm concerned, y'all look better without it.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at April 03, 2026 11:55 PM (CHHv1)

Having seen many of the ettes, yeah many are natural beauties and wouldn't need much, but when you got that good of a canvas a little bit of makeup pushes them in a whole 'nuther league. The ettes look great because they're not leftists. There's no ugly evil bubbling up to the surface.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at April 04, 2026 12:15 AM (snZF9)

293 Florida man looks a bit jacked up on meth. Or inbred. Maybe both. Disturbing.

I wonder what the alligators thought afterwards. Where were their friends in all this? I have too many questions and it is late.

Posted by: ChristyBlinkyTheGreat at April 04, 2026 12:16 AM (WONhk)

294 90/100

I'm not a canvas

Posted by: Admiral Winchester at April 04, 2026 12:16 AM (jrgJz)

295 I only got 80 out of Harry's list, because I can't justify "reconsidered" as "stopped a crime".

Posted by: buddhaha at April 04, 2026 12:17 AM (WClkB)

296 The ettes look great because they're not leftists. There's no ugly evil bubbling up to the surface.
Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at April 04, 2026 12:15 AM (snZF9)

I may grow very, very old and still wear mascara. When you have great lashes you wear mascara. I dunno, but it's my favorite make up. If the house was on fire I'd probably put some on quickly and find the crown jewels and flee.

Posted by: ChristyBlinkyTheGreat at April 04, 2026 12:19 AM (WONhk)

297 Would foiling a hit and run on a parked vehicle count?

Posted by: Boss Moss at April 04, 2026 12:20 AM (52ERr)

298 vmom.

I win in all those categories.

Never would think that to look at me, I'm justa geek whose been on the edge of things for a while. The risks you take trying to live a decent life.

Posted by: pawn at April 04, 2026 12:23 AM (jstR0)

299 Tattoos have their uses. If you take your car to an unfamiliar garage and the guy's covered with tats, he probably knows his stuff really well and is going to treat you fairly.

I mean, I get it. And I wouldn't, as the saying goes, kick her out of bed for having one. It's a personal preference and while I don't share such preferences, they probably don't share mine.

(Points to four shelf media case filled with DVDs I have not watched.)

*cough*

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at April 04, 2026 12:23 AM (CHHv1)

300 Let us all pray and hoe that the downed airman will get home safely.

Posted by: raimondo at April 04, 2026 12:26 AM (KKw2o)

301 85/100

No tat. Vehicle not wrecked.

Double decker bus rammed me (I was parked) and the bus driver launched out of the bus screaming " it was your fault ," and just a moment later a San Francisco transit authority official walked up to us and said "I saw the whole thing."

The bus driver said not a word, tucked his head, and climbed back into the bus. The bus hit me thusly /--- he was turning right and I was parked ---

Posted by: Magnum PI at April 04, 2026 12:32 AM (CpTFW)

302 I may grow very, very old and still wear mascara.

Nothing, as I've said, wrong with that. But when aliens attack and society crashes and normal life is way disrupted and you can't get mascara any more, don't be surprised when your significant other looks at you and says "You know, you haven't worn mascara for some time now, and you know what? You're beautiful."

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at April 04, 2026 12:33 AM (CHHv1)

303 Finally, an accurate photo of flat Earth that puts all this "sphere" nonsense to rest.
Posted by: Sharkman

As I noted last night, the earth is flat - on all six sides.
https://bit.ly/bizarro-world

Posted by: mindful webworker - love makes the world go cubed at April 04, 2026 12:34 AM (/Hr+0)

304 OMG, that Shatner clip! Reminds me of this famous bit among filk singers:

He who sings prays twice. -- St. Augustine

St. Augustine never heard William Shatner sing “Rocket Man.” -- Jane Mailander

LOL! Also see Nimoy, Leonard: Mister Spock's Music From Outer Space.

Poster children for "Just because you can, doesn't mean you should."

Posted by: tankascribe at April 04, 2026 12:34 AM (NtoJk)

305 Sock off.

Posted by: 13times at April 04, 2026 12:35 AM (CpTFW)

306 Scored a 90 (or 80 for owning a pet, only had pets as a child so they were technically my parents' pets). No tattoos and don't plan on getting any ever.

That wrench is neat.

Posted by: farquad at April 04, 2026 12:35 AM (CFMhl)

307 The Artemis II toilet is so loud, the crew must wear ear protection while availing of the lavatorial facilities.

Posted by: pawn at April 04, 2026 12:36 AM (jstR0)

308 That fanny pack holster position is not something I'd use (my gut's too big), but look up IWB (inside waistband) "appendix carry". Lots of people carry that way.

Posted by: buddhaha at April 04, 2026 12:39 AM (WClkB)

309 I think the true test should read the most rare accident you've had where you had to seek medical help.

I got a 2nd degree burn on the tip of my nose from a wooden spoon. Smelling roux to see if it burned. Making gumbo for Super Bowl Sunday when the boys were small and witnessed this. Mama put her not very large nose in a glass of cold water and paged their father who was at Blockbuster renting a video.

The urgent care doc, who knew me, asked if I was freebasing cocaine like Richard Prior.

Silvadene to nose for a week. No scar. Which led to a lot of questions at work (newborn nursery/Destin questions). And explaining roux. I almost got a placard to wear I got so tired of explaining.

Posted by: ChristyBlinkyTheGreat at April 04, 2026 12:40 AM (WONhk)

310 90 out of 100 because I don't have a tattoo.
- - - - - - -

Ballpoint pen. If you don't like your art work, it'll eventually wash off. Also great for foreplay, you can draw on each other... ;-)

Posted by: As Not Seen On TV at April 04, 2026 12:40 AM (sIAVO)

311 Thats a very cool adjustable wrench. The only thing that sucks is it would never fit into a lot of places. You need a lot of room around it, and you're better off not being a hack and using the right size box wrench or socket anyway.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at April 04, 2026 12:40 AM (snZF9)

312 "You know, you haven't worn mascara for some time now, and you know what? You're beautiful."
Posted by: BeckoningChasm at April 04, 2026 12:33 AM (CHHv1)

He already says that because the wearing of mascara is a public event. His test, from comments watching tv, is how any women would look if they did not wear make up the next morning. I passed this test in my prime and didn't know it was a test.

Posted by: ChristyBlinkyTheGreat at April 04, 2026 12:43 AM (WONhk)

313 Weird Dave, wonderful ONT!

Scored 8 out of 10. Never wrecked a car nor gotten a tattoo. Hate needles and anyway, my taste has changed so much over the years anything I got would be an absolute embarrassment 15 years later. Stupidest thing I've ever seen is an 82-year-old lady in my painting class who has eyeliner tattooed on; she dyes her hair but isn't fooling anybody.

Posted by: tankascribe at April 04, 2026 12:44 AM (NtoJk)

314 I hit a deer when I was driving the RV in the Ouachita Mountains in Arkansas a few years back. The road was crowned, and it jumped out in front of me very low to the road and I hit it with the bumper. No damage excel for the dent in the bumper and a cracked headlight cover. Stopped at the next car wash to hose its guts off of the radiator and the side of the RV.

Posted by: Weirddave at April 04, 2026 12:45 AM (peAyU)

315 Hey guys,

We have a launch in about 30 minutes.

ULA - Atlas V551 - Amazon Leo (LA-05)
SLC-41 - Cape Canaveral SFS - Space Affairs Live
Launch Date: April 4, 2026
Launch Time: 1:45 a.m. EDT (0545 UTC, 07:45 CEST)

https://youtu.be/6MFoj6I4dUA

Posted by: Joyenz at April 04, 2026 12:45 AM (2F0/Y)

316 Silvadene to nose for a week. No scar. Which led to a lot of questions at work (newborn nursery/Destin questions). And explaining roux. I almost got a placard to wear I got so tired of explaining.
Posted by: ChristyBlinkyTheGreat at April 04, 2026 12:40 AM (WONhk)

The easy lie is "I missed with the car cigarette lighter"

Posted by: Kindltot at April 04, 2026 12:46 AM (rbvCR)

317 I'm afraid I didn't score as well on Harry Vandenburg's list.
✔️Been arrested - summer after high school, charges dropped
✔️Broke a bone - both little toes, also cracked ribs
❌Jumped from a bridge
❌Driven over 120mph - close, once, but not quite
❌Rode a bull
❌Climbed a mountain - hiked up a big hill, and lived
✔️Rode First Class - 'way back when it was classy
✨Had a threesome - I plead the 5th
❌Won top prize in any raffle*
❌Stopped a crime

*Won first prize at the county fair for my gourd. It was the only entry in the category, though, so…

Posted by: mindful webworker - never divorced at April 04, 2026 12:47 AM (/Hr+0)

318 Trump breath still stinks likes a deed skuunk!!!!

Posted by: Mary Clogginstein from Brattleboro, Vt at April 04, 2026 12:49 AM (nZNS1)

319 Well I got a text before that I really wish I didn't get. Just last night late on the ONT we we're talking about oak floors and I mentioned I had a friend who was a great floor refinisher who did my floors a few times. When I first moved into the last house, and 30 years later when I listed it. I got 30 years out of his floor finish. I found out he died today. Lung cancer. I knew he wasn't feeling good, and had a mild heart attack not long ago, but I didn't know this. What a mess. He was helping care for his wife who had brain cancer some years ago, and somehow they over radiated her brain and killed a lot of it and she was never right after that. She is in a nursing home now, and Mrs b would visit her a few times a month over the last year. Fucking cancer...

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at April 04, 2026 12:51 AM (snZF9)

320 Happy Friday Horde!

Posted by: Debby Doberman Schultz at April 04, 2026 12:52 AM (0nHVk)

321 307 The Artemis II toilet is so loud, the crew must wear ear protection while availing of the lavatorial facilities.

Posted by: pawn at April 04, 2026 12:36 AM (jstR0)
-------
So that's why "In space, no one can hear you scream."

Posted by: 496 at April 04, 2026 12:53 AM (FN3wE)

322
6 easy exercises that anyone can do

There ought to have been a seventh exercise --
can you stop the bed spins while lying down on your back by merely putting a foot on the floor.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at April 04, 2026 12:57 AM (xG4kz)

323 >>Well I got a text before that I really wish I didn't get.

Very sorry.

Posted by: JackStraw at April 04, 2026 01:00 AM (viF8m)

324
We never heard about a malfunctioning space toilet on e.g. the Shuttle. But it's getting lots of publicity on the Artemis mission. Did they forget how to make them, or was control of publicity stronger back then?

The stupid toilet is the star of the mission.

Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at April 04, 2026 01:00 AM (VWtfl)

325 my taste has changed so much over the years anything I got would be an absolute embarrassment 15 years later

Dude, I have a brand I did when I was 21 and very drunk . Cry me a river.

Posted by: Weirddave at April 04, 2026 01:04 AM (peAyU)

326 1st class is the only way to go. If the plane crashes at least I died in style

Posted by: Admiral Winchester at April 04, 2026 01:04 AM (jrgJz)

327 Evening, WD and ONT Horde. At my sister's home in Vancouver, BC tonight. Place is mostly unrecognizable from when I used to live here, or even since I last visited.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at April 04, 2026 01:07 AM (I7pZ1)

328 Looks like I've got one more comment in me for tonight. "Let's make it a good one."
============
Crucifixion Friday: When I was pretty young, and became aware of anti-Jewish people, especially the 'Jews killed Jesus' folks, I thought it was really strange. Obviously, Jesus was a Jew and taught, primarily, as a Jew. He wept for Jerusalem! The apostles were Jews. Yes, creepy Jews conspired for his death, but that was the Deep State of the day. I never had any reason to think of it otherwise.
============
Annual self-plugola: Linked in my nic, a mindful comic webwork from 2013. Jerusalem Report: Deep state media reporting, and misreporting, on events one amazing week in Jerusalem.
============
This seems appropriate for tonight's closer:
https://youtu.be/KaOC9danxNo

G'nite, y'all.

Posted by: mindful webworker - pandemonium! at April 04, 2026 01:07 AM (/Hr+0)

329 1st class is the only way to go. If the plane crashes at least I died in style

Posted by: Admiral Winchester at April 04, 2026 01:04 AM (jrgJz)

The very first time I flew in first class I was coming home from florida, and after an all night party. I remember a great breakfast, and thats all I remember. I passed out for the whole flight.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at April 04, 2026 01:08 AM (snZF9)

330 I'm with the Perfessor - 80, never wrecked a car and never getting a tattoo
Posted by: The Neon Madman at April 03, 2026 10:18 PM (yNfcm)

I guess I am at 90. No tats, but have had some vehicle wrecks, but no totals, no injuries.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at April 04, 2026 01:11 AM (I7pZ1)

331 We never heard about a malfunctioning space toilet on e.g. the Shuttle. But it's getting lots of publicity on the Artemis mission. Did they forget how to make them, or was control of publicity stronger back then?

The stupid toilet is the star of the mission.

Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at April 04, 2026 01:00 AM (VWtfl)

After covid nobody knows how to make jack shit anymore.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at April 04, 2026 01:11 AM (snZF9)

332 331 We never heard about a malfunctioning space toilet on e.g. the Shuttle. But it's getting lots of publicity on the Artemis mission. Did they forget how to make them, or was control of publicity stronger back then?

The stupid toilet is the star of the mission.

Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at April 04, 2026 01:00 AM (VWtfl)

After covid nobody knows how to make jack shit anymore.
Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at April 04, 2026 01:11 AM (snZF9)

"....nobody knows how to make jack shit anymore."

Isn't there something you can give him for that?

I'll show myself out.......

Posted by: Anonymous Rogue in Kalifornistan (ARiK) at April 04, 2026 01:14 AM (QGaXH)

333 The screw chart is missing the new BMW screws.

Talk about assholes, BMW takes it to a whole new level.
Posted by: browndog says woof at April 03, 2026 10:41 PM (3sXRv)

Square socket screws are Robertson (a Canuck invention, btw), and the "six-lobe" are Torx. It's real hard to get top-quality Robertson screws and driver bits anymore, and lesser ones are bad for camming out. Torx have supplanted them as the best choice for high-torque driving.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at April 04, 2026 01:19 AM (I7pZ1)

334 >> We never heard about a malfunctioning space toilet on e.g. the Shuttle.

Oh, they've had many space toilet problems. They've been evolving since Skylab, and no telling how much money has been spent trying to perfect it.

If interested, you can find a lot of stuff on the space toilet woes from the Shuttle on.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at April 04, 2026 01:22 AM (w6EFb)

335
Apparently, this Orion space toilet costs $23M.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at April 04, 2026 01:25 AM (w6EFb)

336 No tattoo. 90/100

Posted by: Heroq at April 04, 2026 01:31 AM (Vb3xW)

337 Double decker bus rammed me (I was parked) and the bus driver launched out of the bus screaming " it was your fault ," and just a moment later a San Francisco transit authority official walked up to us and said "I saw the whole thing."

The bus driver said not a word, tucked his head, and climbed back into the bus. The bus hit me thusly /--- he was turning right and I was parked ---

Posted by: Magnum PI at April 04, 2026 12:32 AM (CpTFW)


Bound to happen when there is no driver on the top.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at April 04, 2026 01:34 AM (I7pZ1)

338
An example. On the first flight of space shuttle Discovery in 1984, they had some malfunction with the waste water dumping system. The discharge port developed a 2' long pee-cicle of frozen urine sticking off out, which threatened the operation of the payload bay doors. They had to break it off and rotate the attitude to try to get enough sunlight on it to increase sublimation.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at April 04, 2026 01:36 AM (w6EFb)

339 Sorry about your friend Beserker. One of the difficult parts of growing old. May your memories be sweet ones. Phuck cancer.

Posted by: Sock Monkey * considering the imponderables at April 04, 2026 01:37 AM (0CEhJ)

340 Can you smell in 0 g?

Posted by: Boss Moss at April 04, 2026 01:37 AM (52ERr)

341 What a mess. He was helping care for his wife who had brain cancer some years ago, and somehow they over radiated her brain and killed a lot of it and she was never right after that. She is in a nursing home now, and Mrs b would visit her a few times a month over the last year. Fucking cancer...
Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at April 04, 2026 12:51 AM (snZF9)

Condolences, Berserker.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at April 04, 2026 01:38 AM (I7pZ1)

342 Apparently, this Orion space toilet costs $23M.
Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at April 04, 2026 01:25 AM (w6EFb)

Do you have any idea how much we had to invest in hookers and blow to get a government space toilet contract?

Posted by: Big Toilet, Spaceship Division at April 04, 2026 01:40 AM (gTyJl)

343 I got 90. 100 if I can count a brand as a tattoo.
Posted by: WeirdDave

I think that's 95. Brands are more intense than tattoos.

I get 80/100. No tattoos, no horseback riding.

If "temporary tattoo" toys from the 80s/90s count, then 90/100.

If carousel horses count, then 100/100.

Posted by: mikeski at April 04, 2026 01:43 AM (VHUov)

344 Did the Millenium Falcon have a toilet?

Posted by: Boss Moss at April 04, 2026 01:43 AM (52ERr)

345 Sorry to hear about your friend, Bers.

Posted by: JQ at April 04, 2026 01:44 AM (rdVOm)

346 Southern Oklahoma is a continent now.

Posted by: Boss Moss at April 04, 2026 01:44 AM (52ERr)

347 my taste has changed so much over the years anything I got would be an absolute embarrassment 15 years later.
Posted by: tankascribe

That's my view on tattoos. Have you ever seen a bumper sticker, or message t-shirt, or meme, or whatever, that was SO COOL that you say "yeah, I want to broadcast THAT MESSAGE every day for the rest of my life. And on my corpse after I die."

.....me neither.

Posted by: mikeski at April 04, 2026 01:47 AM (VHUov)

348 I think that's 95. Brands are more intense than tattoos.

I can't math this late at night. 105.

Posted by: mikeski at April 04, 2026 01:48 AM (VHUov)

349 Tats were all the rage among my peers, about 20 years ago.

"So, JQ, when are *you* going to get one?" and "What tattoo do *you* want to get?"

Me:

"I can't think of *any* design that I'd like to have to have PERMANENTLY EMBLAZONED UPON MY FLESH, thank you very much..."

Posted by: JQ at April 04, 2026 01:52 AM (rdVOm)

350 Went with my brother in law to walk the dog in Jericho Beach Park in Vancouver. Place is overrun with black rabbits. And there is a small stand, maybe 3 or 4 trees, of California Redwood trees; must have been planted there a century ago, as they are pretty large trees now, though not the size of their kin in Cali. I never knew they were there until today.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at April 04, 2026 01:55 AM (I7pZ1)

351 Get in shape

The anime character in the meme is Neco-Arc, from the various Nasuverse stories (Tsukihime, Fate, Carnival Phantasm, etc.)

Posted by: the more you know! at April 04, 2026 01:56 AM (VHUov)

352 While working at the CPO Mess, I learned a lot about tattoos.

The guys would show me theirs, and tell all about when and where they got 'em... many were just blue/black- or greenish- blurs, some so badly that they had to *tell me* what they originally depicted. Sad.

Old tattoos.. looked messy and unattractive after 20 or 30 years. Another reason to not waste my money on one.

Posted by: JQ at April 04, 2026 01:59 AM (rdVOm)

353 I got a 2nd degree burn on the tip of my nose from a wooden spoon. Smelling roux to see if it burned. Making gumbo
Posted by: ChristyBlinkyTheGreat

Yowch!

I got 2nd-degree (blistered) burns on my hand when I splashed some while stirring it. Learned why it's called "cajun napalm."

I wear kitchen gloves when I make it, now.

Posted by: mikeski was not part of the recipe at April 04, 2026 02:00 AM (VHUov)

354 Old tattoos.. looked messy and unattractive after 20 or 30 years. Another reason to not waste my money on one.
Posted by: JQ at April 04, 2026 01:59 AM (rdVOm)

There is an off-color joke about a tattoo that reads "small".

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at April 04, 2026 02:04 AM (I7pZ1)

355 in the UK, vomit after a hangover is considered the best breakfast

The Japanese and the Brits do share one part of the breakfast: the green salad. Not sure any part of the USA does that on the regular.

Posted by: mikeski at April 04, 2026 02:05 AM (VHUov)

356 > 4 Shatner's horrible, wonderful cover or Rocketman lives forever in my head. Forever.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Buy ammo at April 03, 2026 10:03 PM (xcxpd)

Listen to his cover of "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds".

That will drive Rocketman right out, guaranteed.

I'm not saying it'll be *better*, you understand...

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at April 04, 2026 02:11 AM (qpyNK)

357 There is an off-color joke about a tattoo that reads "small".
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon
--------

Heh.

There was one young punk at the old job-- had a tat of 5 kanji characters & claimed that it "spelled [his] name" (5-letter first name) and I LOL'd at him. He *insisted* that it was his name. Pointed to each one in turn, as he spoke the letters.

Well, I can't read kanji, but I'm damned certain those characters DID NOT have anything at all to do with.. his first name.

"That's not how it works" I tried to tell him. Nope. He wasn't having any of it. Oh, well. Wonder what it *really* said? Bet it's hilarious!

Posted by: JQ at April 04, 2026 02:12 AM (rdVOm)

358 Well, 11:15 PM here. I am sleeping in the garage, heh. It is fixed up as an office, with heat, and it has a hide-a-bed. Quite cozy, actually.

Night, Horde.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at April 04, 2026 02:17 AM (I7pZ1)

359 'Night, AOP. Happy travels!

Posted by: JQ at April 04, 2026 02:18 AM (rdVOm)

360 What has these have in common: Nov.25 1783, April 30 1975, Aug. 30 2021? They were evacuation days! America, North Vietnam and Afganistan the day they won their wars. Soon Iran will have a day they defeated donald dump just as Ukraine will have one when they defeat putin!

Posted by: raimondo at April 04, 2026 02:22 AM (KKw2o)

361 That picture of texass is the perfect spot where god would stick in the nozzle if he wanted to give the world an enema. Attributed to L.H. Oswald.

Posted by: raimondo at April 04, 2026 02:25 AM (KKw2o)

362 A real Florida Man doesn't tranquilize the alligators first.

Posted by: MartynWW at April 04, 2026 02:26 AM (M9zxq)

363 The company that built its entire brand on AI safety accidentally shipped 512,000 lines of source code in a public npm package. And now the open-source version is more popular than the original.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at April 03, 2026 11:01 PM (DZ9yr)

Humans trained on AI slop turned out better than AI slop replacement has to be the most 2026 thing ever.

Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at April 04, 2026 02:31 AM (dK+Kv)

364 It's a quarter to three

Ain't no one in the place

Except you and me

So set 'em up Joe

I've got a little story

Posted by: Miklos was banned by the dildo again at April 04, 2026 02:47 AM (MABMQ)

365 I'm not Joe, but...

*sets up a couple dranks*

...let's hear ya story!

Posted by: JQ at April 04, 2026 02:49 AM (rdVOm)

366 I guess my randomly assigned ISP stuff got me past the dildo

Pretty cool hash

Babaloo

Babaloo

BA-BA-LOO

Posted by: Ricky Miklos-Ricardo at April 04, 2026 02:51 AM (MABMQ)

367 ...let's hear ya story!
Posted by: JQ

I went to this weight loss consultant with Darleen...

Posted by: Miklos, survivor at April 04, 2026 02:53 AM (MABMQ)

368 if i did raimondo on tap i would be banned again

Posted by: not raimondo on tap at April 04, 2026 02:55 AM (MABMQ)

369 I went to this weight loss consultant with Darleen...
Posted by: Miklos, survivor
****

If you're going to tell horror stories this late at night, have some consideration for the people still awake. 😬

Posted by: clarence at April 04, 2026 02:56 AM (R9n3z)

370 Well, I can't read kanji, but I'm damned certain those characters DID NOT have anything at all to do with.. his first name.

"That's not how it works" I tried to tell him. Nope. He wasn't having any of it. Oh, well. Wonder what it *really* said? Bet it's hilarious!
Posted by: JQ

There's an old site called "hanzismatter" that tried to "decode" various poor uses of kanji/hanzi/etc.

It got to the point where half of the posts were about that sort of tattoo. The guys that ran the site found the "translation" tattoo manual somewhere.

They're not all complete kanji (D and T, at minimum, are not), some tattoo artists got a mirror___ copy of the "translation," and, as you said, none of them are pronounced the way English letters are.

https://is.gd/zJHTjT

.....is the hanzismatter blogspot.com post about it, from 2006.

The best post on the site is probably the "translations" of some Royal Caribbean menu items.

"Chicken and mushroom tarts," in Chinese as "timid and rapidly-grown prostitutes." There are definitions of "chicken," "mushroom," and "tart" that mean those things, but.....

The comments say that the German, etc translations were just as bad.

https://is.gd/1Dd45W

Posted by: mikeski at April 04, 2026 02:57 AM (VHUov)

371 Oh, Miklos... smh...

Ignore the 'dodo, it's not worth your trouble.

Posted by: JQ at April 04, 2026 02:58 AM (rdVOm)

372 Did the Millenium Falcon have a toilet?
Posted by: Boss Moss

Never thought about it

Posted by: A Plymouth Satellite, faster than the speed of light at April 04, 2026 02:58 AM (MABMQ)

373 If you're going to tell horror stories this late at night, have some consideration for the people still awake. 😬
Posted by: clarence

no pics

rules

Posted by: Modest, shy and retiring bruised up Miklos at April 04, 2026 02:59 AM (MABMQ)

374 Ignore the 'dodo, it's not worth your trouble.
Posted by: JQ

Senora has truth

I now forget troll guns

Now only BONGO and CONGA

maybe some mojito

Posted by: El Miklosero de Cuba Libre at April 04, 2026 03:03 AM (MABMQ)

375 NSFW. Really NSFW.

Any discussion of silly tattoos needs Stephen Lynch's "Tattoo" song.

https://youtu.be/hFSbYE5IWzw

Did I mention it's NSFW?

Posted by: mikeski reminds you it's NSFW at April 04, 2026 03:04 AM (VHUov)

376 367 ...let's hear ya story!
Posted by: JQ

I went to this weight loss consultant with Darleen...
Posted by: Miklos, survivor at April 04, 2026 02:53 A

... Because we heard of his miraculous machine...

Posted by: JM in Illinois at April 04, 2026 03:06 AM (ZFOhy)

377 Hahaha, I will go to bed laughing!

Good night, horde. You're the *best*

<3

Posted by: JQ at April 04, 2026 03:10 AM (rdVOm)

378 The comments say that the German, etc translations were just as bad.

https://is.gd/1Dd45W
Posted by: mikeski

I was paid, in part at one time because of knowledge of languages.

Then, No- machine translation, human not required.

Now human required because machine make mistake.

For a fee, amigos, mes amis, guten freunden, barataim, chloviek, tavarishi etc

Posted by: It's all Greek to Miklosopoulos at April 04, 2026 03:10 AM (MABMQ)

379 Because we heard of his miraculous machine...
Posted by: JM in Illinois

Miraculous?

Darleen thinks I get it done

Small miracles with large challenges

Posted by: Miklos is developing lower back issues at April 04, 2026 03:14 AM (MABMQ)

380 Only scored an 80 on the quiz.
Never wrecked a car, nor do I have any intention of getting a tattoo.
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at April 03, 2026 10:04

I scored a 90, wrecked a car but never had a tatoo.

BTW Happy Easter ya'll.

Posted by: Farmer, with his own historic take at April 04, 2026 03:15 AM (55Qr6)

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An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)
News/Chat

Ann Coulter
National Review Online
The Perfect World
Free Republic
Lucianne
The Note

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