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Olympics Committee: We Are Reserving Women's Sports For -- and This is a Genuine Twist -- Women

The policy actually isn't 100% solid. They say that men will be excluded from women's sports -- again, what an innovation -- in sports involving "strength, power, and endurance."

So that means that transgenders would be allowed to compete in... like shooting sports and ice-dancing, maybe?

Whatever.

I'm linking ESPN/AP because their tears are so unfathomly delicious.


GENEVA -- Transgender women athletes are now excluded from women's events at the Olympics after the IOC agreed to a new eligibility policy Thursday that aligns with U.S. President Donald Trump's executive order on sports ahead of the 2028 Los Angeles Games.

They're all crying about that -- that this policy aligns with the Bad Orange Man's executive order, so, of course, this is a corrupt decision made by cowards who Hate Transwomen and want to Erase Their Existence.

I just turned into Pinhead the Cenobite. Your pain, your pain is exquisite!


"Eligibility for any female category event at the Olympic Games or any other IOC event, including individual and team sports, is now limited to biological females," the International Olympic Committee said, to be determined by a mandatory gene test once in an athlete's career.

How I howl in ecstasy! Your excrutiations thrill me to the marrow!


It is unclear how many, if any, transgender women are competing at an Olympic level. No woman who transitioned from being born male competed at the 2024 Paris Summer Games, though weightlifter Laurel Hubbard did at the Tokyo Olympics in 2021 without winning a medal.

The eligibility policy that will apply from the L.A. Olympics in July 2028 "protects fairness, safety and integrity in the female category," the IOC said.

I just leveled up this Lament Configuration. I unlocked the Drink the Blood of Your Soul Achievement.

pinheadwithlamentconfiguration.jpg


"It is not retroactive and does not apply to any grassroots or recreational sports programs," said the IOC; its Olympic Charter states that access to play sport is a human right.

After an executive board meeting, the IOC published a 10-page policy document that also restricts women athletes such as two-time Olympic champion runner Caster Semenya with medical conditions known as differences in sex development, or DSD.

Like that Iranian boxer who had a Y chromosome but claimed he was a woman because his genitals were improperly formed?

How delicious! Your cries for mercy echo sweetly in my ears!


The IOC and its president, Kirsty Coventry, have wanted a clear policy instead of continuing to advise sports' governing bodies, which previously have drafted their own rules.

"At the Olympic Games, even the smallest margins can be the difference between victory and defeat," Coventry, a two-time Olympic gold medalist in swimming, said in a statement. "So, it is absolutely clear that it would not be fair for biological males to compete in the female category."

ohhh ahhhh ooooh

I just made a mess on my Lament Configuration. Is it supposed to buzz and blink? I think I broke the hellgate.

I'm still "game," if you know what I mean.

But there's no way I can go again. This isn't college.

Wait -- what's this? An article from NPR! Let's see if they can "inspire" me!

The International Olympic Committee (IOC) will ban transgender athletes from competing in women's events, based on the results of mandatory genetic screening.

MANDATORY GENETIC SCREENING! WHOOO, REFRACTORY PERIOD BE GONE! I'M FLYING LIKE AN ENGORGED HELLBAT AGAIN!

The topic of transgender participation in sports -- from school teams to the world stage -- has been a cultural flashpoint in recent years, though it's unclear how many transgender women currently compete at the Olympic level.

Ah, we went from "it's not happening" to "it's good that it's happening" and now back to "it's not happening" again. They were forced to retreat.

Every nerve in my body is ringing like a guitar string strummed by a Heavy Metal Godling.

Weightlifter Laurel Hubbard made history as the first openly transgender woman to do so in Tokyo in 2021, though no woman who transitioned after being assigned male at birth is known to have participated in an Olympics since.

Nevertheless, controversy ballooned in Paris 2024 when right-wing politicians and commentators called into question the sexes of two female boxers who had been previously disqualified from boxing world championships after failing eligibility tests. One of them was cleared for competition after approval last week, while the other -- who has repeatedly identified herself as a cisgender woman -- is challenging the World Boxing testing requirement in court.

I like how they refuse to say why this person would object to a genetic test. You can tell from implication, but they cannot bring themselves to write it out.

SING! SING TO ME OF YOUR BLESSED DAMNATION!



While the accusations were not proven true, they sparked a global debate over gender eligibility and prompted the IOC to begin the review that led to this policy. The IOC says the new rule is based on scientific evidence and "protects fairness, safety and integrity in the female category."

Um, what about the court that found the Iranian boxer was indeed a male? Just because you refuse to say it doesn't mean that it's not true.

But experts say the testing raises a multitude of concerns.

EXPERTS! EXPERTS! AH YES, WHAT I WAS MISSING WAS "EXPERTS!"

I'VE GOT THE LAMENT CONFIGURATION IN FUCKED-UP POSITIONS IT WAS NEVER DESIGNED FOR!

There are questions about the reliability and cost of the testing...

LOL, the most basic blood test in the world is unfair because of "costs."

This is like when they claim you can't tell someone's a dude without "reaching under her skirt and feeling her genitals." Um, yeah, except athletes have to routinely take blood tests to show they're not taking performance enhancing drugs. That blood can be tested cheaply for chromosomes as well.

Your anguish is intoxicating.

I just started a Tumblr account under the name "PIN-DADDY."

...as well as the interpretation and finality of its results.

We have to "interpret" the results of a test that has two possibilities: XX chromosomes or XY. There's so much line-drawing needed! It's like a Rorschach test -- you only see what you bring to it!

Critics of the policy say it invades the privacy of all women, and that it discriminates against intersex people whose reproductive or sexual anatomy do not fit binary definitions of male or female.

I JUST BECAME A 20th-LEVEL CENOBITE

I CAN NOW SUMMON HELLDRAGONS WITH A MAGIC WHISTLE

AND THAT WHISTLE IS THIS REPORTER'S SKULL


And even though the IOC says its policy does not apply to "grassroots or recreational" sports programs, some experts told NPR they fear it could affect more than just Olympic hopefuls.

"If a woman suspects that she might not pass this screening, she might be deterred from pursuing sport altogether," said Jaime Schultz, a sports historian and professor of kinesiology at Pennsylvania State University. "It doesn't just affect the people that are being tested, but it affects all women athletes."

Yeah but it mostly affects the male "women athletes," wouldn't you say? Not so much the female women athletes.

Whew! That was hot. That was sexual fire, baby.

Now I have to clean this puzzle box off and get it back to Pinhead before he realizes it's missing.

From last year. I guess the Olympics committee made some kind of preliminary ruling last year.

This Mannish Woman's dolor is turning me on again.

The uptalk and the assertion that "I'm right because I'm a 'journalist'" combined with the mini-bangs, Birth Control Glasses, and gigantic Canadian Mountie Chin is so perfect.

Posted by: Disinformation Expert Ace at 05:41 PM




Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 $*&%(#@* Ace!!!

Posted by: I was JUST about to post an OT funny at March 26, 2026 05:42 PM (ULPxl)

2 You ok, ace?

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at March 26, 2026 05:43 PM (zZu0s)

3 >>>You ok, ace?

i'm blissed out, man. You?

Posted by: refractory period ace at March 26, 2026 05:43 PM (1wjle)

4 The cruelty of this post will be legendary, even in hell!

Posted by: We have such sights to show you! at March 26, 2026 05:43 PM (TbWk/)

5 Shit. There goes my comeback.

Posted by: "Kaitlyn" Jenner at March 26, 2026 05:44 PM (KvulR)

6 Lol. Just seems like you had a hard time punching the clown there.

Moisturize and hydrate.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at March 26, 2026 05:44 PM (zZu0s)

7 if I was sports equipment I want to be the sports bra

Posted by: Desinex at March 26, 2026 05:45 PM (jrgJz)

8 Well I didn't expect a post on tranny athletes to turn into Hellraiser porn, but Ace is in one of his more creative moments.

Posted by: the lower depths at March 26, 2026 05:45 PM (GSy5R)

9 But women born as men can still present as "male experts", right? RIGHT!?!?

Because I refuse to submit to the indignity of a genetic test before experting! No! I stand with trans-perts!

Posted by: Tom Nichols at March 26, 2026 05:46 PM (3wPtZ)

10 "I'm, like, a journalist?"

Oh good, now I can preemptively dismiss everything you're about to say as total bullshit.

Posted by: I like efficiency at March 26, 2026 05:46 PM (TbWk/)

11 You know I never saw Hellraiser- or Phantasm (the flying bladed clear pool ball was cool. Clackers. IYKYK.)

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at March 26, 2026 05:46 PM (zZu0s)

12 The uptalk and the assertion that "I'm right because I'm a 'journalist'" combined with the Birth Control Glasses and gigantic chin is so perfect.
-----------------
And bird hands

And "look at my hulking shoulders don't you find me so cute?"

Posted by: the lower depths at March 26, 2026 05:46 PM (GSy5R)

13 But I was told that the best women started out as men!!

President Trump is on the phone with 'The Five.'

'I like your show. I like all your shows actually. I'm glad Jessica'a not there today.'

On Newsom 'He's a stupud guy. We don't need a stupid guy.'

Man, Trumps on fire.

Posted by: Stateless - Day 7 of 14 or so - extreme dog care at March 26, 2026 05:46 PM (Sco7b)

14 >>>11 You know I never saw Hellraiser- or Phantasm (the flying bladed clear pool ball was cool. Clackers. IYKYK.)

I saw the first hellraiser when it was first out on video and I remember nothing about it. People say it's good but I remember being sub-meh on it.

Posted by: refractory period ace at March 26, 2026 05:47 PM (1wjle)

15 There are questions about the reliability and cost of the testing...

I can see here that we've reached the "grasping at straws" phase of the argument. Let me try...

Also, it is well known that women are too stupid to figure out how to get tested.

Wait. Where have I heard this one before?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at March 26, 2026 05:47 PM (fhCge)

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at March 26, 2026 05:47 PM (fhCge)

17 The chick with the sandblasting googles really helps the normal flow of the discussing left.

Should be a campaign ad

Posted by: Get out of my fucking shot at March 26, 2026 05:48 PM (jZ3ZM)

18 This woman (?)
.....

is a man, baby.

Posted by: wth at March 26, 2026 05:48 PM (UjdFS)

19 I will consent to opine about this outrageous sports decision! It is not "local crime", it is international! And I will opine policy-wise!!

Posted by: Sarah Kliff at March 26, 2026 05:48 PM (3wPtZ)

20 Ace just took gold in the gooning event

Posted by: No room for second place at March 26, 2026 05:48 PM (TbWk/)

21 Ace just took gold in the gooning event
Posted by: No room for second place at March 26, 2026 05:48 PM (TbWk/)

He worked for it. But the preparation and workouts helped a lot.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at March 26, 2026 05:49 PM (zZu0s)

22 Holy crap. I'm reading the pist and ace is on fire too.

Whoa....
Sweet.

Posted by: Stateless - Day 7 of 14 or so - extreme dog care at March 26, 2026 05:49 PM (Sco7b)

23 if I was sports equipment I want to be the sports bra
Posted by: Desinex


I want to be the athletic supporter.

Posted by: Mayo Pete at March 26, 2026 05:49 PM (UjdFS)

24 i love the "but experts say there is no science to show that men aren't women" part

Posted by: refractory period ace at March 26, 2026 05:49 PM (1wjle)

25 I'm somewhat surprised that the Olympics are a borderline "thing."

I gave up caring decades ago when it became a wokefest for Eurotrash. And American Karen's.

OTOH... if they had a "deathrace" type event.... 💀

Posted by: Martini Farmer at March 26, 2026 05:50 PM (AkEZC)

26 Plus, he had garret as his corner man.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at March 26, 2026 05:50 PM (zZu0s)

27 I can't listen to idiot-ass leftwing women.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at March 26, 2026 05:50 PM (nESHF)

28 I have no knowledge about a series about alien cenobites and they all look weird anyway, so all I can think of is when you say you're a cenobite is an Eastern Orthodox celibate monastic . St . Pachomius ( born around 346) was a famous one. So you're becoming an Eastern Orthodox monk, Ace?😉

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at March 26, 2026 05:50 PM (7RYym)

29 What is that thing wearing the Mr. Potatohead glasses anyway?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at March 26, 2026 05:50 PM (fhCge)

30 Even worse than suspicion? Ermagerd!

Posted by: Miley, okravangelist at March 26, 2026 05:50 PM (w6EFb)

31 The IOC and its president, Kirsty Coventry

No more games, Kirsty!

Posted by: Pinhead at March 26, 2026 05:51 PM (TbWk/)

32 Several of our tastiest interns are trans-Bulwarkian and this policy will unfairly tarnish their enormous efforts! Their sweaty, lusty, persistent efforts! Night and day they work at my house helping my wife, while I observe! And I love them!

Posted by: Bill Kristol at March 26, 2026 05:51 PM (3wPtZ)

33 the claim that science doesn't support the idea that men are now women reminds me of Always Sunny (as most things do)

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/LMMiSRjFC98

Posted by: refractory period ace at March 26, 2026 05:51 PM (1wjle)

34 "I JUST BECAME A 20th-LEVEL CENOBITE
I CAN NOW SUMMON HELLDRAGONS WITH A MAGIC WHISTLE
AND THAT WHISTLE IS THIS REPORTER'S SKULL"

Ordering a custom t-shirt now with this on it. And no, I'm not going to explain it to anybody. I'm just going to feel all warm and fuzzy every time I wear it.

Posted by: hobbitopoly at March 26, 2026 05:51 PM (k9OZB)

35 I think Ace needs a cigarette.

Posted by: Mayo Pete at March 26, 2026 05:52 PM (UjdFS)

36 28 I have no knowledge about a series about alien cenobites

Angels... to some.

Posted by: gKWVE at March 26, 2026 05:52 PM (gKWVE)

37 Olympics Committee: We Are Reserving Women's Sports For -- and This is a Genuine Twist -- Women
—Disinformation Expert Ace

Doomed to failure. The Olympics Committee is based in Communist Europe. I am pretty sure, based on the my observations of the USA Communists, that not one of them is able figure out what a woman is.

Posted by: Alteria Pilgram - My President has convictions at March 26, 2026 05:53 PM (mrZ4x)

38 My retcon is Event Horizon and Hellraiser exist in the same hopefully fictional universe.

Posted by: banana Dream at March 26, 2026 05:53 PM (l5dSG)

39 Now this really sucks.

Posted by: East German "Women" Athletes from the 1980s at March 26, 2026 05:53 PM (fhCge)

40 The Olympic athletes' oath proscribes "doping".

Trannies therefore (logically) are out. Or should be.

Posted by: Cow Demon at March 26, 2026 05:53 PM (hJH5n)

41 >>>Angels... to some.

lol

I didn't know this, because i'm an uneducated heathen, but.. the movie didn't make up the term cenobite. it just means a monk.

I know I should have known that, but I did not.

Posted by: refractory period ace at March 26, 2026 05:53 PM (1wjle)

42 Pinheads are people, too!

Posted by: Schlitzie the Pinhead at March 26, 2026 05:53 PM (oftw2)

43 Odds that these genetic tests show that there are an awful lot more biological men competing as women than they are telling us? High, very high.

So far, we only know about the “out and proud” freaks who brag about being born male but “transitioning” to women. They are the stupid ones. The smart ones keep their heads down, their dicks tucked, and never let on they’re men.

Posted by: Elric the Blade at March 26, 2026 05:53 PM (2pYam)

44 To think. I hesitated reading this post.

Posted by: gKWVE at March 26, 2026 05:54 PM (gKWVE)

45 if a thousand trannies commit suicide because of this policy, I'll ask, "were there not 2 thousand, 3 or more?"

Posted by: People's Hippo Voice at March 26, 2026 05:54 PM (HXT0k)

46 Don't make fun of her nose. It came attached to those glasses.

Posted by: garrett at March 26, 2026 05:54 PM (W7FsI)

47 36 28 I have no knowledge about a series about alien cenobites

Angels... to some.
Posted by: gKWVE at March 26, 2026 05:52 PM (gKWVE)

Explorers in the further regions of experience.

Posted by: Pinhead at March 26, 2026 05:54 PM (TbWk/)

48 Olympics says Men are different than women,
AND bonus finding, 2+2 does NOT = 5.

Posted by: illiniwek at March 26, 2026 05:54 PM (vbXSk)

49 Every nerve in my body is ringing like a guitar string strummed by a Heavy Metal Godling.
---
Instant classic.

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at March 26, 2026 05:54 PM (ZOv7s)

50 38 My retcon is Event Horizon and Hellraiser exist in the same hopefully fictional universe.
Posted by: banana Dream at March 26, 2026 05:53 PM (l5dSG)


The reality is much worse.

Posted by: gKWVE at March 26, 2026 05:54 PM (gKWVE)

51 i just don't think there's any science supporting that

Posted by: Charlie Kelly, Bird Lawyer at March 26, 2026 05:54 PM (1wjle)

52 Either you let me compete in the Olympics with the gender I want or I'M GONNA KILL MYSELF!!!

Posted by: Trannies Everywhere All The Time at March 26, 2026 05:54 PM (hJH5n)

53 35 I think Ace needs a cigarette.
Posted by: Mayo Pete at March 26, 2026 05:52 PM (UjdFS)

500 cigarettes.

Posted by: Bortas at March 26, 2026 05:55 PM (TbWk/)

54 boy you guys sure know a lot of Hellraiser quotes!

I do not, but I can tell they're right from Hellraiser.

Posted by: ace at March 26, 2026 05:56 PM (1wjle)

55 All hail Judge Van Dyke's "swinging dicks" callout of this perverted transgender bullshit! All hail President Trump's plainspoken rejection of the said perverse mental disorders.

Posted by: Hokey Pokey at March 26, 2026 05:56 PM (YlWIZ)

56 What's wrong with doping?

Posted by: GDR Olympic Committee at March 26, 2026 05:56 PM (hJH5n)

57 THIS WILL LITERALLY KILL MILLIONS OF MENTALLY ILL PEOPLE!!!!

Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Totally Unserious at March 26, 2026 05:56 PM (xvV+O)

58 Would you rather have a dead son or a Gold Medal Winning Women's Athlete?

Posted by: garrett at March 26, 2026 05:56 PM (W7FsI)

59 Don’t be disappointed when there are lawsuits over this and the IOC folds like a cheap drag queen bustier.

Posted by: Elric the Blade at March 26, 2026 05:56 PM (2pYam)

60 What is that thing wearing the Mr. Potatohead glasses anyway?
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43)
.......

I have no idea.
Unless aliens have finally landed.

Posted by: wth at March 26, 2026 05:56 PM (UjdFS)

61 There are purposely mixed gender events - such as sailing.

My buddy did an olympic sailing campaign for the Brazil olympics. He got so sick after one of the qualifying events in the mega-polluted bay there that he missed 2 months of practice and didn't recover physically in time to really compete at the level he was capable of.

He said they would sail past the dead carcasses of animals regularly on their way from the docks to the race course.

Posted by: Defenestratus at March 26, 2026 05:56 PM (WYStd)

62 Angels... to some.
Posted by: gKWVE at March 26, 2026 05:52 PM (gKWVE)

Well; I hope they look better than the "angel"
up top, but if not, that would explain why people in the Bible are told to not be afraid when an angel appears before them.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at March 26, 2026 05:57 PM (ix8EF)

63 The uptalk and the assertion that "I'm right because I'm a 'journalist'" combined with the mini-bangs, Birth Control Glasses, and gigantic Canadian Mountie Chin is so perfect.

Posted by: Disinformation Expert Ace at 05:41 PM

I've seen Airmen in Basic that look better with their BCGs than this persyn.

Posted by: pookysgirl married a hot one at March 26, 2026 05:57 PM (Wt5PA)

64 ace, that was great. Thank you.

Posted by: Stateless - Day 7 of 14 or so - extreme dog care at March 26, 2026 05:57 PM (Sco7b)

65 "though no woman who transitioned after being assigned male at birth"

------

Oh my god go fuck yourself with a running chainsaw covered in salt which is also on fire.

This is a mangling of the english language and everything we know about science worse than the mangling that happens when one of these freaks gets their Johnson chopped off.

Posted by: ballistic at March 26, 2026 05:57 PM (oqH4h)

66 52 Either you let me compete in the Olympics with the gender I want or I'M GONNA KILL MYSELF!!!
Posted by: Trannies Everywhere All The Time at March 26, 2026 05:54 PM (hJH5n

Isn't that the "your terms are acceptable" meme?

Posted by: Hokey Pokey at March 26, 2026 05:57 PM (YlWIZ)

67 Agreed. That was Prime Ace Material.

Posted by: garrett at March 26, 2026 05:57 PM (W7FsI)

68 If a woman suspects that she might not pass this screening
wait the w .... the what now?

Posted by: BlackOrchid(j+aD2) at March 26, 2026 05:57 PM (j+aD2)

69 that was delicious Ace

Posted by: BlackOrchid(j+aD2) at March 26, 2026 05:58 PM (j+aD2)

70 Eyes and ears and funny noses,
You can put them in so many poses.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at March 26, 2026 05:58 PM (nESHF)

71 >>>up top, but if not, that would explain why people in the Bible are told to not be afraid when an angel appears before them.

they're not angels, they're just weird interdimensional demons who get off on pain

but a good example of an angel that will terrify you is the angel of death at the end of Raiders

Posted by: ace at March 26, 2026 05:58 PM (1wjle)

72 This woman (?) does insane mental gymnastics to rationalize why men should be able to invade women’s sports.


Damn. Uptalk plus vocal fry. With bird hands it would have been a TikTok trifecta.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at March 26, 2026 05:58 PM (fhCge)

73 I wonder if Ilona Maher will be able to play

lol she's a tad suss

Posted by: BlackOrchid(j+aD2) at March 26, 2026 05:58 PM (j+aD2)

74 WTF has ace been smoking this afternoon?

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at March 26, 2026 05:58 PM (ESVrU)

75 "And to think, I hesitated."

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at March 26, 2026 05:59 PM (xcxpd)

76 If the 12 Y/o Ragheads want to meet Allah.... Well then Uncle Donny is here to help....

Anyway, what can a 12 Y/O do with 72 Virgins.....

They cannot even get a Hard on long enough to satisfy them !!!!

This also proves Beef is healthier than Fish !!!!!

Posted by: Howard Stienhofer at March 26, 2026 05:59 PM (cAEZx)

77 What's in the box?

Posted by: Darth Randall at March 26, 2026 05:59 PM (f1kZG)

78 Ace's schadenboner just caused a tsunami that created a new waterway through Arabia.

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at March 26, 2026 05:59 PM (ZOv7s)

79 Well I didn't expect a post on tranny athletes to turn into Hellraiser porn, but Ace is in one of his more creative moments.
Posted by: the lower depths at March 26, 2026 05:45 PM (GSy5R)


Rocking chairs are rejuvenating.

Posted by: I used to have a different nic at March 26, 2026 06:00 PM (ExV1e)

80 And Ace...very funny stuff

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at March 26, 2026 06:00 PM (xcxpd)

81 > If a woman suspects that she might not pass this screening, she might be deterred from pursuing sport altogether

"Women" don't suddenly decide to "pursue sport" and compete in the Olympics. Most of those people at the Olympics started pursuing sport at 3-5 years of age. We call 3-5 year old females, "girls." At that age, they're not deciding to pursue sport based on whether or not they can pass some genetic test at the Olympics.

IF they show ridiculous promise, they're going to look for a high level coach, and that coach is most likely going to cost many orders of magnitude more than a genetic test.

Posted by: bonhomme at March 26, 2026 06:00 PM (mkw2N)

82 EXPERTS! EXPERTS! AH YES, WHAT I WAS MISSING WAS "EXPERTS!"

I'VE GOT THE LAMENT CONFIGURATION IN FUCKED-UP POSITIONS IT WAS NEVER DESIGNED FOR!
----

I read that as Lamont configuration and it was still funny

Posted by: OneEyedJack at March 26, 2026 06:00 PM (zafwz)

83 This post is about swinging dicks.

Posted by: Judge VanDyke at March 26, 2026 06:00 PM (TbWk/)

84 Pinhead was the hero of those movies

Posted by: Elric the Blade at March 26, 2026 06:01 PM (2pYam)

85 Woman does insane mental gymnastics.
-

She ordered those glasses special.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at March 26, 2026 06:01 PM (jAisO)

86 >>>84 Pinhead was the hero of those movies

he punishes the humans who are the real villains, right?

Posted by: ace at March 26, 2026 06:01 PM (1wjle)

87 I saw the first hellraiser when it was first out on video and I remember nothing about it. People say it's good but I remember being sub-meh on it.
Posted by: refractory period ace at March 26, 2026 05:47 PM (1wjle)
---
I made the mistake of watching Hellraiser and John Carpenter's Prince of Darkness on the same Halloween night in 1992, when I was a college freshman.

I've NEVER had stranger dreams in my life...

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at March 26, 2026 06:02 PM (ESVrU)

88 82 EXPERTS! EXPERTS! AH YES, WHAT I WAS MISSING WAS "EXPERTS!"

I'VE GOT THE LAMENT CONFIGURATION IN FUCKED-UP POSITIONS IT WAS NEVER DESIGNED FOR!
----

I read that as Lamont configuration and it was still funny
Posted by: OneEyedJack at March 26, 2026 06:00 PM (zafwz)

Kirsty, you big dummy!

Posted by: Pinhead at March 26, 2026 06:02 PM (TbWk/)

89 >>"Women" don't suddenly decide to "pursue sport" and compete in the Olympics...


They're fighting the Patriarchy.

Just ignore them, they'll eventually have to go home and feed their cats.

Posted by: garrett at March 26, 2026 06:02 PM (W7FsI)

90 What is that thing wearing the Mr. Potatohead glasses anyway?
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43)
......

THATS MRS POTATOHEAD ASSHOLE

Posted by: wth at March 26, 2026 06:02 PM (UjdFS)

91 I was going to look at the last video but decided not to waste those precious moments on such utter bullshit.

Posted by: Ben Had at March 26, 2026 06:02 PM (+nEug)

92 Ace, the anti-doping effort on the international sports stage is unbelievably expensive. They spend something like $5,000/test/athlete, and some of them are tested multiple times/year.

The idea that this is in any way difficult is laughable. As you point out, simple testing for XX or XY chromosomes is cheap. They can do PCR testing for $25.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at March 26, 2026 06:02 PM (n9ltV)

93 That female Olympic boxer in Blurle said the boxer in Red (the MALE) hit her harder than she had ever been hit in her life.

Posted by: JM in Illinois at March 26, 2026 06:02 PM (PzOF6)

94 The fact we're even having this discussion reveals just how insane some people are.

Posted by: Bea Arthur's Dick at March 26, 2026 06:03 PM (pE12i)

95 pinhead (and all of them) punish people who choose to visit hell

people who want the pain bc they are past it with normal sensations, generally

Posted by: BlackOrchid(j+aD2) at March 26, 2026 06:03 PM (j+aD2)

96 The uptalk and the assertion that "I'm right because I'm a 'journalist'" combined with the mini-bangs, Birth Control Glasses, and gigantic Canadian Mountie Chin is so perfect.
===

Poetry Ace, pure poetry as fine as I have ever read.

P-O-E-T-R-Y!

Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Totally Unserious at March 26, 2026 06:03 PM (xvV+O)

97 Thank you, Riley Gaines.

Posted by: Ben Had at March 26, 2026 06:03 PM (+nEug)

98 My retcon is Event Horizon and Hellraiser exist in the same hopefully fictional universe.
Posted by: banana Dream at March 26, 2026 05:53 PM (l5dSG)

Dont forget Warhammer 40k.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at March 26, 2026 06:03 PM (zZu0s)

99 >>That female Olympic boxer in Blurle said the boxer in Red (the MALE) hit her harder than she had ever been hit in her life.


She sounds like a nice girl who never once overcooked the chicken.

Posted by: garrett at March 26, 2026 06:03 PM (W7FsI)

100 Well I didn't expect a post on tranny athletes to turn into Hellraiser porn, but Ace is in one of his more creative moments.
Posted by: the lower depths at March 26, 2026 05:45 PM (GSy5R)

Rocking chairs are rejuvenating.
Posted by: I used to have a different nic at March 26, 2026 06:00 PM (ExV1e)
----
The lures he's whittling are designed to attract Cenobites...

One of the features of the box included spitting out fishhooks on chains that would tear into your flesh.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at March 26, 2026 06:03 PM (ESVrU)

101 The uptalk and the assertion that "I'm right because I'm a 'journalist'" combined with the mini-bangs, Birth Control Glasses, and gigantic Canadian Mountie Chin is so perfect.
===

Oh.

So that's what those are.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at March 26, 2026 06:03 PM (RIvkX)

102 You know I never saw Hellraiser- or Phantasm (the flying bladed clear pool ball was cool. Clackers. IYKYK.)
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at March 26, 2026 05:46 PM (zZu0s)


If you like horror, Hellraiser is pretty good. Admittedly, it's dated now, but it's pretty good.

Posted by: I used to have a different nic at March 26, 2026 06:04 PM (ExV1e)

103 I made the mistake of watching Hellraiser and John Carpenter's Prince of Darkness on the same Halloween night in 1992, when I was a college freshman.

I've NEVER had stranger dreams in my life...
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at March 26, 2026 06:02 PM (ESVrU)
---
I remember it being on at a party and finding it dull, but I hate horror movies. Most of them can be solved with a pocket revolver except for the ones were just not summoning inter-dimensional demons also works.

Never read from the Book of the Dead out loud.

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at March 26, 2026 06:04 PM (ZOv7s)

104 Is that Waldo?

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at March 26, 2026 06:04 PM (Cqx++)

105 The word you're looking for is transexual.
Gender refers to possessive pronouns: his, hers, theirs, its.

Like you learned in fourth grade.

Posted by: Word nerd at March 26, 2026 06:04 PM (2Ez/1)

106 Cenobites sound like something you would farm in WoW.

Posted by: garrett at March 26, 2026 06:04 PM (W7FsI)

107 I thought you guys liked hot redheads.

Posted by: wth at March 26, 2026 06:04 PM (UjdFS)

108 Pinhead was the hero of those movies

he punishes the humans who are the real villains, right?
Posted by: ace at March 26, 2026 06:01 PM (1wjle)
——

IIRC, it’s a bit more complicated than that, but he spares a few innocents and brings the assfuck down on all those who deserve it.

Posted by: Elric the Blade at March 26, 2026 06:05 PM (2pYam)

109 Lol

The journalist

"This decision is bad for all women because it means that anybody who doesn't fit a normative white idea of femininity is subject to suspicion, questioning or even worse."

Can we start a list.....

Posted by: Stateless - Day 7 of 14 or so - extreme dog care at March 26, 2026 06:05 PM (Sco7b)

110 The Critical Drinker on tje En$hitification of the Lord of the Rings.


https://is.gd/TOumEi


Posted by: Boss Moss at March 26, 2026 06:05 PM (u1ket)

111 "Like that Iranian boxer who had a Y chromosome but claimed he was a woman because his genitals were improperly formed?

How delicious! "


Ace. Please. Phrasing.

Posted by: Steve_in_SoCal at March 26, 2026 06:05 PM (oAa51)

112 Lew Wasserman called and he wants his glasses back.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at March 26, 2026 06:05 PM (fhCge)

113 Dont forget Warhammer 40k.
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at March 26, 2026 06:03 PM (zZu0s)
---
This. Event Horizon discovered the Warp, but without a Navigator to guide them and their own psykers to ward them, they succumbed to Chaos demons. I'd say a mix of Khorne and Slaanesh.

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at March 26, 2026 06:06 PM (ZOv7s)

114 ever notice that these women who choose deliberately-unattractive hairstyles and glasses to "defeat the male gaze" were already pretty much defeating the male gaze with what God already gave them?

Posted by: ace at March 26, 2026 06:06 PM (1wjle)

115 Well; I hope they look better than the "angel"
up top, but if not, that would explain why people in the Bible are told to not be afraid when an angel appears before them.
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at March 26, 2026 05:57 PM (ix8EF)


Pinhead was the approachable one.

Posted by: I used to have a different nic at March 26, 2026 06:06 PM (ExV1e)

116 Birth Control Glasses, didn't see that b/4.
Excellent.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at March 26, 2026 06:06 PM (jAisO)

117 111 "Like that Iranian boxer who had a Y chromosome but claimed he was a woman because his genitals were improperly formed?



the concept that a malformed and injured MALE is a female is incredibly humiliating and insulting to actual females.

we are not deformed males

also third world, be a little more cautious with the fancy circumcision stuff maybe

Posted by: BlackOrchid(j+aD2) at March 26, 2026 06:07 PM (j+aD2)

118 Pinheads are only a possible trouble in my life. Pinworms are the immediate threat.

Posted by: Itchy Ban at March 26, 2026 06:07 PM (oftw2)

119 Its from the 70s- of course people were the real monsters.

Doesn't pinhead start out as a regular, but evil dude?

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at March 26, 2026 06:07 PM (zZu0s)

120 114 ever notice that these women who choose deliberately-unattractive hairstyles and glasses to "defeat the male gaze" were already pretty much defeating the male gaze with what God already gave them?
Posted by: ace at March 26, 2026 06:06 PM (1wjle)

I see this every day on the job.

Posted by: GDR Olympic Committee at March 26, 2026 06:07 PM (hJH5n)

121 Good grief. She will die alone on her couch being eaten by her cats.

Posted by: wth at March 26, 2026 06:07 PM (UjdFS)

122 I dunno, the ‘birth control glasses’ can look very hot on a hot girl. Not that sexually ambiguous louse in the video, but a hot girl.

Posted by: Elric the Blade at March 26, 2026 06:07 PM (2pYam)

123 Explorers in the further regions of experience.
Posted by: Pinhead at March 26, 2026 05:54 PM (TbWk/)


That scene is on youtube and I just rewatched it. Although the big man gets the most quotable lines, the most chilling IMO is the cenob-ette who responds to Kirsty. She's panicked because she's just summoned these fiends, to remove the undead child molester who has escaped hell.
"Perhaps we prefer YOU."
... yeah, the movie was scary

Posted by: gKWVE at March 26, 2026 06:07 PM (gKWVE)

124 IIRC, it’s a bit more complicated than that, but he spares a few innocents and brings the assfuck down on all those who deserve it.
Posted by: Elric the Blade at March 26, 2026 06:05 PM (2pYam)
----
In Hellraiser II Pinhead explicitly lets the young woman who opened the box off the hook. She was simply acting as a conduit for the psychologist who was "treating" her.

HE'S the one who really wanted to experience the pleasures of the box...and his wish was granted in typical Cenobite fashion.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at March 26, 2026 06:07 PM (ESVrU)

125 Is there a separate division for wahmyn with penises?

Posted by: Boss Moss at March 26, 2026 06:07 PM (u1ket)

126
Have the Olympic committee Define "Woman" first. Because the libs love to play word games.

Posted by: Frank Barone at March 26, 2026 06:07 PM (IifOV)

127 Die, GDR sock...

Posted by: Cow Demon at March 26, 2026 06:07 PM (hJH5n)

128 61 There are purposely mixed gender events - such as sailing.

My buddy did an olympic sailing campaign for the Brazil olympics. He got so sick after one of the qualifying events in the mega-polluted bay there that he missed 2 months of practice and didn't recover physically in time to really compete at the level he was capable of.

He said they would sail past the dead carcasses of animals regularly on their way from the docks to the race course.
Posted by: Defenestratus at March 26, 2026 05:56 PM (WYStd)

Dirtiest waters I ever sailed? Persian Gulf.

Posted by: Romeo13 at March 26, 2026 06:08 PM (mP0Kj)

129 Honestly, I'm disappointed at this decision. The most entertaining thing about Olympic women's sports is when a half-disguised male gets in there and screws it all up. I don't sit on my porch hoping for a car crash. BUT, I wouldn't look away if one happened.

I was, secretly, hoping that just about every female World and Olympic record would be compromised by the cosplaying males who couldn't make it competing against their own sex. It's hard to prolong an interest in women's sports. But, I'd watch an entire race if some guy trashed the whole field and then pretends that it's perfectly normal. It's good for my self-esteem to realize just how may retards are running around out there.

Side Note: I'm beginning to think that the Oversized Power Glasses were someone's idea of a great practical joke. Something like bellbottoms was in the 70's.

Posted by: Orson at March 26, 2026 06:08 PM (dIske)

130 The "women" above with the big glasses looks like a lighter haired Rachael Maddow...

Posted by: It's me donna at March 26, 2026 06:08 PM (FtULh)

131 I take it the moral is, don't summon demons, they're dangerous.

Posted by: gKWVE at March 26, 2026 06:08 PM (gKWVE)

132 Pinhead was the approachable one.
Posted by: I used to have a different nic at March 26, 2026 06:06 PM (ExV1e)

Glad I missed that show or movie.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at March 26, 2026 06:08 PM (rZCVI)

133 Cenobites sound like something you would farm in WoW.
Posted by: garrett at March 26, 2026 06:04 PM (W7FsI)
---
Yeah, so imagine growing up irreligious and being aware of the films (I watched at least part of one) and then you become Catholic and read that a saint was a Cenobite and ,you're like "Hey now, WHAT?!"

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at March 26, 2026 06:08 PM (ZOv7s)

134 WTF has ace been smoking this afternoon?
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel


Something in his new rocking chair is outgassing some zany chemicals. He'll be fine in a few days once it's all done curing.

Posted by: mikeski at March 26, 2026 06:08 PM (VHUov)

135 115 Well; I hope they look better than the "angel"
up top, but if not, that would explain why people in the Bible are told to not be afraid when an angel appears before them.
Posted by: FenelonSpoke
---

Tell that to Abraham.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at March 26, 2026 06:08 PM (jAisO)

136 were already pretty much defeating the male gaze with what God already gave them?

Posted by: ace at March 26, 2026 06:06 PM (1wjle)


Well, at least she was trying. She took off those neck-stretching hoops from that weird tribe in Africa.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at March 26, 2026 06:09 PM (n9ltV)

137 Is there a separate division for wahmyn with penises?

Look for the "Cs w/ Ds" banner.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at March 26, 2026 06:09 PM (fhCge)

138 116 Birth Control Glasses, didn't see that b/4.
Excellent.
Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at March 26, 2026 06:06 PM (jAisO)

I always understood that to be Birth Control Goggles. That's old military slang. My father used to make them back in the day.

Posted by: Cow Demon at March 26, 2026 06:09 PM (hJH5n)

139 oh my, my tears for these transgender athletes are just...
non-existent. totally dry, like the wind of the Sahara and the cooch of a canadian journalist.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at March 26, 2026 06:09 PM (n5tGW)

140 there's a Pinhead knockoff in Cabin in the Woods. Bro's got a circular sawblade sticking out of his head.

Also there's a knockoff Lament Configuration in the basement where they choose the form of the destructor.

Posted by: ace at March 26, 2026 06:09 PM (1wjle)

141 ***Nerk*** taking about Jacob

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at March 26, 2026 06:10 PM (jAisO)

142 Well, at least she was trying. She took off those neck-stretching hoops from that weird tribe in Africa.

She'd be hotter with big ceramic plates in her lips.

Posted by: The Guy Who Thinks Chicks Are Hotter With Ceramic Plates In Their Lips at March 26, 2026 06:10 PM (fhCge)

143 How would you like waking up to that shpiel every morning?
I bet she's fun at parties.

Posted by: wth at March 26, 2026 06:10 PM (UjdFS)

144 I was hoping for the green dildo toss next time around.
Still could happen.

Posted by: Maj. Healey at March 26, 2026 06:10 PM (abIsI)

145 Birth Control Glasses, didn't see that b/4.
Excellent.
Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at March 26, 2026 06:06 PM (jAisO)

Time to kill the smart military blog moniker.

Posted by: OneEyedJack at March 26, 2026 06:11 PM (zafwz)

146 Those Taylor swift bangs don't look good on anybody.

Posted by: NCKate at March 26, 2026 06:11 PM (uQzkA)

147 IIRC, it’s a bit more complicated than that, but he spares a few innocents and brings the assfuck down on all those who deserve it.
Posted by: Elric the Blade at March 26, 2026 06:05 PM (2pYam)

As I recall he's really a sympathetic figure having called down upon himself his curse, being an explorer or something and then opening some sort of Egyptian artifact or something that unleashes his curse? At least that's how I remembered it - haven't seen that story in many decades.

Posted by: Boswell at March 26, 2026 06:11 PM (j10i6)

148 Yeah, so imagine growing up irreligious and being aware of the films (I watched at least part of one) and then you become Catholic and read that a saint was a Cenobite and ,you're like "Hey now, WHAT?!"
Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at March 26, 2026 06:08 PM (ZOv7s)
---
As I recall, "Pinhead" isn't even the main villain's name. He's actually known as "Lead Cenobite" or sometimes referred to as "Hell Priest."

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at March 26, 2026 06:11 PM (ESVrU)

149 The uptalk and the assertion that "I'm right because I'm a 'journalist'" combined with the mini-bangs, Birth Control Glasses, and gigantic Canadian Mountie Chin is so perfect.

Oh.
So that's what those are.
Posted by: San Franpsycho


I thought "birth control glasses" implied that, once they were removed, you'd want to boink the hot librarian underneath.

Can't see that as a possibility, here.

Posted by: mikeski at March 26, 2026 06:11 PM (VHUov)

150 I got a hunski that says the person with bangs and a Mountie chin thinks wearing Birth Control Glasses is giving the other girls a chance at the boys because she is such a 9.

Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Totally Unserious at March 26, 2026 06:11 PM (xvV+O)

151 Im pretty sure a white normative identity is also a black normative identity as well as a brown normative identity.

And a yellow normative identity.
Hunter Biden

Posted by: Steve_in_SoCal at March 26, 2026 06:11 PM (oAa51)

152 On the movie related front...

Saw Project Hail Mary today. Would recommend.

Posted by: I used to have a different nic at March 26, 2026 06:12 PM (ExV1e)

153 I think the courts are in line for some attenuation of authority, action and attitude by Congress. You know, another branch of government with checks and balances in minds. Perhaps the "swinging dicks" rhetorical nadir will be taken as a hint.

Posted by: Hokey Pokey at March 26, 2026 06:12 PM (YlWIZ)

154 Wouldst thou like to live deliciously?

Posted by: that goat from a different movie at March 26, 2026 06:12 PM (1wjle)

155 NY Post: Half-naked twerking Texas spring breaker hurled from Jeep in viral video has died

Posted by: Mark1971 at March 26, 2026 06:12 PM (CNl8/)

156 Also there's a knockoff Lament Configuration in the basement where they choose the form of the destructor.
Posted by: ace at March 26, 2026 06:09 PM (1wjle)
----
Do we know for sure it's a knockoff?

Multiple boxes were constructed, as shown in Hellraiser II...

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at March 26, 2026 06:12 PM (ESVrU)

157 146 Those Taylor swift bangs don't look good on anybody.



hmm

take a look at Linda Cardellini in DTF St Louis

Posted by: BlackOrchid(j+aD2) at March 26, 2026 06:12 PM (j+aD2)

158 I just finished 'A Human Centipede - first sequence' half an hour ago. Not as bad as I imagined. Maybe I'll check oit 'Hellraiser.'

During 'A Serbian Film' yesterday, full 144 minute version. I started thinking they were trying too hard - doing things even muslims wouldn't do. It was like Hollywood film-makers doing their best to piss off Catholics imagining the big box-office dollars.

Later, I was reading up on it and that was the point of the film. They were protesting EU censorship and how only 'nice' Serbian movies would get funding. So they made the most offensive movie possible. But if you figure it out or know why, much less disturbing.

Posted by: Stateless - Day 7 of 14 or so - extreme dog care at March 26, 2026 06:13 PM (Sco7b)

159 As I recall he's really a sympathetic figure having called down upon himself his curse, being an explorer or something and then opening some sort of Egyptian artifact or something that unleashes his curse? At least that's how I remembered it - haven't seen that story in many decades.
Posted by: Boswell at March 26, 2026 06:11 PM (j10i6)


I recall that being the case although it seems like he was a bit skeevy in his explorer period. That scene happened in Hellraiser 2, IIRC.

Posted by: I used to have a different nic at March 26, 2026 06:14 PM (ExV1e)

160 Ahh I see Perfessor Squirrel explains it at 124...

Posted by: Boswell at March 26, 2026 06:14 PM (j10i6)

161 The uptalk and the assertion that "I'm right because I'm a 'journalist'" combined with the mini-bangs, Birth Control Glasses, and gigantic Canadian Mountie Chin is so perfect.
Posted by: Disinformation Expert Ace at 05:41 PM


Those are some serious shoulder muscles.
Looks like a male swimmer's neck.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at March 26, 2026 06:14 PM (6ydKt)

162 I got a hunski that says the person with bangs and a Mountie chin thinks wearing Birth Control Glasses is giving the other girls a chance at the boys because she is such a 9.
Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Totally Unserious
.......

A Dr. Pimple Popper 9 maybe.

Posted by: wth at March 26, 2026 06:14 PM (UjdFS)

163 That final video caused the sudden and complete retraction of my testicles. I could probably compete in women's sports now. If only there were a sport I didn't suck at.

Posted by: Kam Fong as Chin Ho at March 26, 2026 06:14 PM (2ap+5)

164 The Marxists will howl

Posted by: Skip at March 26, 2026 06:14 PM (Ia/+0)

165 Also there's a knockoff Lament Configuration in the basement where they choose the form of the destructor.
Posted by: ace at March 26, 2026 06:09 PM (1wjle)

13 Ghosts (done by the same guys as Ghost Ship) also played on the same theme as far as body horror. Horrible movie, but had some creepy scenes.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at March 26, 2026 06:14 PM (zZu0s)

166 Dear God, I would take BCGs over the stupid glasses that thing is wearing.

What are considered fashionable frames now are just hideous. That and it being cool to go out in public looking like you just woke up...wake me when the world gets back to normal.

Posted by: Cow Demon at March 26, 2026 06:15 PM (hJH5n)

167 When the guy was beating women in the Olympics, I went on for and called it out . At least five women I know began screeching that I didn't know science, that I was a hater and sent me ridiculous sci articles.
I'm happy events have proven me correct. They're onto their next outrage

Posted by: Smell the Glove at March 26, 2026 06:15 PM (mHVWR)

168 Posted by: I used to have a different nic at March 26, 2026 06:12 PM (ExV1e)

Thanks. I think my husband and spouse are planning to go, so I appreciate the recommendation.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at March 26, 2026 06:15 PM (PFs9e)

169 Why watch horror movies when you have history?

Posted by: Cow Demon at March 26, 2026 06:15 PM (hJH5n)

170 169 Why watch horror movies when you have history?
Posted by: Cow Demon at March 26, 2026 06:15 PM (hJH5n

Or current news.

Posted by: Stateless - Day 7 of 14 or so - extreme dog care at March 26, 2026 06:17 PM (Sco7b)

171 I always understood that to be Birth Control Goggles. That's old military slang. My father used to make them back in the day.
Posted by: Cow Demon at March 26, 2026 06:09 PM (hJH5n)
---
Yep, goes back a while. Because my eyesight was particularly bad, I never got issued any by the Army. They were always on back order. Of course, as anyone will tell you, they are completely ineffective, especially as the weeks of coed basic training wear on.

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at March 26, 2026 06:17 PM (ZOv7s)

172 FLYING LIKE AN ENGORGED HELLBAT AGAIN

Long-lost collab of Ozzy and Meatloaf

Posted by: Cock of the Walk at March 26, 2026 06:17 PM (RMFMN)

173 Nobody watches the news anymore.

Posted by: Quarter Twenty at March 26, 2026 06:18 PM (2Ez/1)

174 I think my husband and spouse are planning to go

What kind of throuple situation is Fen into?

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at March 26, 2026 06:19 PM (n5tGW)

175 ''The uptalk and the assertion that "I'm right because I'm a 'journalist'" combined with the mini-bangs, Birth Control Glasses, and gigantic Canadian Mountie Chin is so perfect.''



Yup, good ol' Dudley Do-right with the ass at the end of her chin.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at March 26, 2026 06:19 PM (snZF9)

176 Thanks. I think my husband and spouse are planning to go, so I appreciate the recommendation.
Posted by: FenelonSpoke
.......

You're in a plural marriage? Wowee.

Posted by: wth at March 26, 2026 06:20 PM (UjdFS)

177 Why watch horror movies when you have history?
Posted by: Cow Demon at March 26, 2026 06:15 PM (hJH5n)
---
Precisely because it's not real. So it's fake being scared or something. I never cared for it.

However, drama has it's place. I mean is "Jaws" a horror movie or just riveting drama?

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at March 26, 2026 06:20 PM (ZOv7s)

178 I think my husband and spouse are planning to go

What kind of throuple situation is Fen into?
Posted by: Guy Mohawk at March 26, 2026 06:19 PM (n5tGW)
---
Wow. Freudian slip?

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at March 26, 2026 06:21 PM (ZOv7s)

179 Perhaps Fen has a "nesting partner."

Posted by: Quarter Twenty at March 26, 2026 06:21 PM (2Ez/1)

180 Ace just nuked it from orbit.

Posted by: Tex Lovera at March 26, 2026 06:22 PM (KwvKR)

181 Perhaps Fen has a "nesting partner."
Posted by: Quarter Twenty at March 26, 2026 06:21 PM (2Ez/1)
---
Sister wife.

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at March 26, 2026 06:22 PM (ZOv7s)

182 "White idea of femininity?" I think I'll just ignore her (?) entire white-splaining screed.

Posted by: Racially Ambiguous Honky at March 26, 2026 06:22 PM (X5FXP)

183 Posted by: wth at March 26, 2026 06:20 PM

Of course; I'm a clergy woman. 😉

LOL. That was a typo. FenSpouse who BTW, is male and "son"

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at March 26, 2026 06:22 PM (PFs9e)

184 The altar boys are lined for confession.

The first one goes in.

"Father, I've committed an impure act with one of my female classmates."

"Was it Bridget Flaherty?"

"I'm sorry, Father. I can't say."

"Was it Maureen O'Shaughnessy?"

"I'm sorry, Father. I can't say."

"Was it Caitlin Murphy?"

"I'm sorry, Father. I can't say."

"What you did was wrong, but I do admire your loyalty. Pray the rosary 10 times, and I'm not going to let you help at Mass for a month."

The altar boy leaves. His companions ask "What did you get?"

"A month off and three good prospects."

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at March 26, 2026 06:23 PM (IG3/x)

185 LOL. That was a typo. FenSpouse who BTW, is male and "son"
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at March 26, 2026 06:22 PM (PFs9e)


*takes away Fen's shovel*

Posted by: gKWVE at March 26, 2026 06:23 PM (gKWVE)

186 I thought "birth control glasses" implied that, once they were removed, you'd want to boink the hot librarian underneath.

Can't see that as a possibility, here.
Posted by: mikeski


I have reconsidered this position. If I wear a necktie around my waist, it's still a necktie, not a belt. So even if a girl with no need of male-gaze-averting BCGs is wearing them, they are still BCGs.

Posted by: mikeski at March 26, 2026 06:24 PM (VHUov)

187 That final video caused the sudden and complete retraction of my testicles.

Posted by: Kam Fong as Chin Ho at March 26, 2026 06:14 PM (2ap+5)

Mine suddenly learned to ride a harley and are 2 states over by now.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at March 26, 2026 06:24 PM (snZF9)

188 ‘Hellraiser’

[Grins]

— Ozzy

Posted by: Elric the Blade at March 26, 2026 06:24 PM (2pYam)

189 Ace, the post was hilariously genius. Bravo…

IMHO forget the genetic testing… the test should be a Crocodile Dundee crotch grab. If he determines you’re male, you’re banned

Posted by: LinusVanPelt at March 26, 2026 06:24 PM (xT8gx)

190 They're onto their next outrage
Posted by: Smell the Glove at March 26, 2026 06:15 PM (mHVWR)

I'd find new outrages coming along every 10 minutes tiring.

Posted by: Stateless - Day 7 of 14 or so - extreme dog care at March 26, 2026 06:24 PM (Sco7b)

191 LOL. That was a typo. FenSpouse who BTW, is male and "son"
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at March 26, 2026 06:22 PM (PFs9e)

*shakes head sadly*

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at March 26, 2026 06:24 PM (zZu0s)

192 How many intersex people do you know?

No, really, how many?

Oh. None. That's likely, since there are about 1 per 20 million out there. And very few of them are Olympic class athletes. If any.

So fuck off with the one-off exceptions.

Posted by: tcn in AK at March 26, 2026 06:25 PM (DwqWV)

193 I was super pissed at the new Hellraiser movie because they (of course) mad pinhead female. I really hate to say this but that actress knocks it out of the park. She's basically the star of the film. It's a very dumb movie like all but the first Hellraiser films, but I enjoyed it immensely. Special kudos to the filmmakers inventing all these new configurations of the puzzle box. I think it is on Netflix maybe?

Posted by: Max Power at March 26, 2026 06:25 PM (q177U)

194 Mine suddenly learned to ride a harley and are 2 states over by now.
Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at March 26, 2026 06:24 PM (snZF9)

Those are some seriously talented testicles.

Posted by: tcn in AK at March 26, 2026 06:26 PM (DwqWV)

195 In a generation we've gone from liberal women fighting for women's sports to liberal women fighting to end women's sports.

Posted by: JackStraw at March 26, 2026 06:26 PM (viF8m)

196 *takes away Fen's shovel*
Posted by: gKWVE at March 26, 2026 06:23 PM (gKWVE)
---
You are doing the Lord's work.

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at March 26, 2026 06:26 PM (ZOv7s)

197 We could have used Genetic Screening back in the 60's and 70's when any "female" member of the East German Olympic Team was seriously suspected as being a guy. Some of the horridly so.

Posted by: TXMarko at March 26, 2026 06:26 PM (7flhA)

198 >>>What are considered fashionable frames now are just hideous. That and it being cool to go out in public looking like you just woke up...wake me when the world gets back to normal.
Posted by: Cow Demon
---

If a female is up for the cause and down with the plan she's wearing BCGs.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at March 26, 2026 06:26 PM (jAisO)

199 That final video caused the sudden and complete retraction of my testicles.

Posted by: Kam Fong as Chin Ho at March 26, 2026 06:14 PM (2ap+5)

Mine suddenly learned to ride a harley and are 2 states over by now.
Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at March 26, 2026 06:24 PM (snZF9)

Yeah, that broad and her uptalking is unbearable… I got far enough in the video to notice she’s not wearing a wedding ring. Shocked!!!!

Posted by: LinusVanPelt at March 26, 2026 06:27 PM (xT8gx)

200 I think it is on Netflix maybe?
Posted by: Max Power at March 26, 2026 06:25 PM (q177U)

Sites were saying Netflix was raising prices in the US.

Posted by: Stateless - Day 7 of 14 or so - extreme dog care at March 26, 2026 06:27 PM (Sco7b)

201 Just grab 'em by the pussy, you'll know.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at March 26, 2026 06:27 PM (jAisO)

202 Yep, goes back a while. Because my eyesight was particularly bad, I never got issued any by the Army. They were always on back order. Of course, as anyone will tell you, they are completely ineffective, especially as the weeks of coed basic training wear on.
Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at March 26, 2026 06:17 PM (ZOv7s)

What I really enjoyed was The Argument I Would Always Win But People Wanted To get Into Anyway. It went like this: I was told that I needed gas mask inserts. I said "No, I can see fine without them. My vision is impaired on one side, when I am not wearing glasses I rely on the one good eye." (Truth.) I am then told that I WILL WEAR MY GAS MASK INSERTS OR ELSE. I say again "You are wasting taxpayer's money. Don't make them for me. I can see fine. If I can't I will let you know immediately." This goes back and forth for however long...

And eventually I hear "yeah, it has been determined your vision isn't bad enough to warrant inserts." Me: "Toldya".

Posted by: Cow Demon at March 26, 2026 06:27 PM (hJH5n)

203 It's not just power, strength and endurance.

Men have better spatial skills than women. That's why men are still better at pool, darts, golf short game, etc.

Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at March 26, 2026 06:28 PM (V4IXI)

204 yeah, hellraiser 2022 is presently ranked second-best on RT, after the first one. The first one is going to be difficult to dethrone because of the nostalgia.

Posted by: gKWVE at March 26, 2026 06:28 PM (gKWVE)

205 182 "White idea of femininity?" I think I'll just ignore her (?) entire white-splaining screed.
Posted by: Racially Ambiguous Honky at March 26, 2026 06:22 PM (X5FXP)

What does having a dick have to do with being white or feminine?

Posted by: tcn in AK at March 26, 2026 06:28 PM (DwqWV)

206 > How many intersex people do you know?

So fuck off with the one-off exceptions.
Posted by: tcn in AK at March 26, 2026 06:25 PM (DwqWV)

Right. They always trot out those unfortunates, most of whom spend their lives just trying to get by, playing the shitty hand they've been dealt.

They're not the ones having parades or filing lawsuit.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at March 26, 2026 06:29 PM (IG3/x)

207 We could have used Genetic Screening back in the 60's and 70's when any "female" member of the East German Olympic Team was seriously suspected as being a guy. Some of the horridly so.
Posted by: TXMarko at March 26, 2026 06:26 PM (7flhA)
----------
That National Lampoon cover is evergreen.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at March 26, 2026 06:29 PM (60TZk)

208 SING! SING TO ME OF YOUR BLESSED DAMNATION!

From chuckling to 🤣 I've gone. Outdoing yourself, you are you are.

----
Can urine be used for the test?

Elaine, according to your urine analysis, you're menopausal. You have the metabolism of a 68-year old woman and possible osteoporosis.

Posted by: L - No nic at March 26, 2026 06:30 PM (NFX2v)

209 I had BCGs in basic training and I hated ‘em…. Couldn’t understand why they wouldn’t let me wear my civilian eyeglasses but that was out of the question. I was so terrified of the drill sargents I didn’t even ask

Posted by: LinusVanPelt at March 26, 2026 06:30 PM (xT8gx)

210 I think crocodile Dundee. These lovers are not going to go all the way with their identification. If you are a dude at all in there, you are not going to want anyone cutting on the ferret.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at March 26, 2026 06:30 PM (zZu0s)

211 Perhaps Fen has a "nesting partner."
Posted by: Quarter Twenty at March 26, 2026 06:21 PM

It's Russian dolls all the way down.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at March 26, 2026 06:30 PM (Wnv9h)

212
I have reconsidered this position. If I wear a necktie around my waist, it's still a necktie, not a belt. So even if a girl with no need of male-gaze-averting BCGs is wearing them, they are still BCGs.
Posted by: mikeski at March 26, 2026 06:24 PM (VHUov)

You have read A Separate Peace, I see. Phineas did that if I am not mistaken.

Posted by: Cow Demon at March 26, 2026 06:30 PM (hJH5n)

213 182 "White idea of femininity?" I think I'll just ignore her (?) entire white-splaining screed.

Posted by: Racially Ambiguous Honky at March 26, 2026 06:22 PM (X5FXP)

They can complain all they want but when it comes to women-type things (fashion, beauty standards, education, social power, feminism, etc.) white Western women have been leading the way around the world for a few millennia now, at least back to the Greeks & Romans.

Only recently have East Asian & African-American women had any influence world-wide. That's mostly thanks to K-Pop, J-Pop and Hip-Hop & Rap and those ladies are copying and iterating on Western female standards themselves.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at March 26, 2026 06:30 PM (6ydKt)

214 I'd find new outrages coming along every 10 minutes tiring.

Posted by: Stateless - Day 7 of 14 or so - extreme dog care at March 26, 2026 06:24 PM (Sco7b)

From John Konrad's excellent X essay on anger:

The great irony: people consuming and sharing these shortcuts believe they're saving time and thought. They end up consumed by it. The shortcut doesn't conserve cognitive energy. It injects a slow-burning emotional cost that has to be serviced continuously. You have to keep feeding the assumption. Keep reinforcing the story. Keep the anger alive, because if it dies, you'd have to go back and actually read those three pages of policy analysis you skipped.

https://tinyurl.com/bdhkyu75

Posted by: pookysgirl, sometimes philosphical at March 26, 2026 06:31 PM (Wt5PA)

215 Only white people think those with a Y chromosome are males. Follow the Science!

Posted by: Racially Ambiguous Honky at March 26, 2026 06:31 PM (X5FXP)

216 Yeah, that broad and her uptalking is unbearable… I got far enough in the video to notice she’s not wearing a wedding ring. Shocked!!!!
Posted by: LinusVanPelt at March 26, 2026 06:27 PM (xT8gx)

You might want to notice "her" exceptional shoulders which "she" is showing off, and "her" complete lack of breasts.

I think "she" is the one who is upset at not being allowed to play in the Olympics, but he really doesn't have a shot, anyway.

Posted by: tcn in AK at March 26, 2026 06:31 PM (DwqWV)

217 And eventually I hear "yeah, it has been determined your vision isn't bad enough to warrant inserts." Me: "Toldya".
Posted by: Cow Demon at March 26, 2026 06:27 PM (hJH5n)
---
Yeah, so in addition to not getting BCGs, I also didn't get inserts. So putting on my pro mask left me effectively blind, lost in a world of blurs. During the FTX, we're moving through the woods and we hit a place where there was a small fire, all blackened and we stop, turn to the drill sergeant who says nothing, and then we all are like "GAS! GAS! GAS!" and fumble for our masks, and now I'm blind, and have to hang on something LBE strap as we stumbled forward to the other side. Finally the drill sergeant is able to stop laughing long enough to shout "ALL CLEAR!"

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at March 26, 2026 06:31 PM (ZOv7s)

218 We could have used Genetic Screening back in the 60's and 70's when any "female" member of the East German Olympic Team was seriously suspected as being a guy. Some of the horridly so.
Posted by: TXMarko at March 26, 2026 06:26 PM (7flhA

I think that was a result of filling those women with testosterone and steroids.

Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at March 26, 2026 06:32 PM (V4IXI)

219 I should clarify, it wasn't simulated chemical attack, but he thought it was funny, so just let us roll with it.

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at March 26, 2026 06:32 PM (ZOv7s)

220 Just grab 'em by the pussy, you'll know.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at March 26, 2026 06:27 PM

Too right, mate.

Posted by: Mick "Crocodile" Dundee at March 26, 2026 06:32 PM (Wnv9h)

221 Internet says the original Clive Barker Pinhead was androgynous.



Ackshually.

Posted by: eleven at March 26, 2026 06:32 PM (fV+MH)

222 Elaine and the poppy seed muffins:

https://youtube.com/shorts/dpHy_SEsBcU

Posted by: Obligatory Seinfeld reference at March 26, 2026 06:33 PM (2Ez/1)

223 Perhaps Fen has a "nesting partner."
Posted by: Quarter Twenty

It's Russian dolls all the way down in.
Posted by: RedMindBlueState


FIFY.

Posted by: mikeski doubles the entendre at March 26, 2026 06:33 PM (VHUov)

224 I am not forming an opinion on any of this until Taylor Lorenz opines, and the ladies of the view weigh in ( get it ? ).

Posted by: tubal at March 26, 2026 06:33 PM (/HeZH)

225 Fen, are you nesting??? Like, gathering twigs and stuff?

Posted by: tubal at March 26, 2026 06:34 PM (/HeZH)

226 That "female" "journalist" in the video at the end looks like a cross between Hilary Swank and the gyrocopter pilot in "The Road Warrior."

Posted by: Taro Tsujimoto at March 26, 2026 06:35 PM (5YmYl)

227 anyone mention this? very funny video if you have 6 minutes. (take out the space)

https://twitchy.com/justmindy/2026/03/26/ trans-lawyer-hissy-fit-court-n2426480

Posted by: gnats local 678 at March 26, 2026 06:35 PM (CWTWj)

228 I was super pissed at the new Hellraiser movie because they (of course) mad pinhead female. I really hate to say this but that actress knocks it out of the park. She's basically the star of the film. It's a very dumb movie like all but the first Hellraiser films, but I enjoyed it immensely. Special kudos to the filmmakers inventing all these new configurations of the puzzle box. I think it is on Netflix maybe?

Posted by: Max Power at March 26, 2026 06:25 PM (q177U)

"Hellraiser
is widely regarded as a queer horror classic, rooted in the sensibility of its openly gay creator, Clive Barker, and his exploration of kinky, transgressive sexuality. The franchise is celebrated for incorporating sadomasochistic themes, queer subtext, and breaking heteronormative standards, rather than focusing on a single gay character"

In the 2022 Hellraiser reboot, Pinhead was portrayed by trans actress Jamie Clayton to honor the androgynous, non-binary, and ethereal nature of the Cenobites in Clive Barker's original novella, The Hellbound Heart. The filmmakers wanted to create a fresh, "darker" interpretation, separating the new performance from Doug Bradley’s iconic male portrayal.

Uh...pass.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at March 26, 2026 06:35 PM (snZF9)

229 Nightly News

ABC....Helicopter and Jet almost collide. First TSA.
NBC....Guthrie
CBS....Near miss Jet. Now 20 year old fleeing to China after explosive device at Air Force Base

Posted by: Stateless - Day 7 of 14 or so - extreme dog care at March 26, 2026 06:35 PM (Sco7b)

230 224 I am not forming an opinion on any of this until Taylor Lorenz opines, and the ladies of the view weigh in ( get it ? ).
Posted by: tubal at March 26, 2026 06:33 PM

+++
*ahem*

Posted by: Tay-Tay Swift at March 26, 2026 06:35 PM (2Ez/1)

231 "So far, we only know about the “out and proud” freaks who brag about being born male but “transitioning” to women. They are the stupid ones. The smart ones keep their heads down, their dicks tucked, and never let on they’re men.
Posted by: Elric the Blade at March 26, 2026 05:53 PM (2pYam)

Word!

Posted by: Tanya Harding at March 26, 2026 06:35 PM (cO6oP)

232 >>>And eventually I hear "yeah, it has been determined your vision isn't bad enough to warrant inserts." Me: "Toldya".
Posted by: Cow Demon
---

Sounds like you qualify for a quality Bauch & Lomb replacement part.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at March 26, 2026 06:35 PM (jAisO)

233 Actually, Starfleet says an officer should always don the proper sock when using "Actually"

Posted by: Wesley Crusher at March 26, 2026 06:35 PM (RIvkX)

234 I had BCGs in basic training and I hated ‘em…. Couldn’t understand why they wouldn’t let me wear my civilian eyeglasses but that was out of the question. I was so terrified of the drill sargents I didn’t even ask
Posted by: LinusVanPelt at March 26, 2026 06:30 PM (xT8gx)
---
I was sent on a detail to do something at one point and the cadre paused and said I must be something special to be allowed to wear civilian glasses. I did get out of training a couple of times to go see if they were ready, which was nice. Better sitting on a bus than a road march, amirite?

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at March 26, 2026 06:35 PM (ZOv7s)

235 "(take out the space)"

You just blew the margins by an extra space. Thanks!

Posted by: Tanya Harding at March 26, 2026 06:36 PM (cO6oP)

236 Uh...pass.
Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at March 26, 2026 06:35 PM (snZF9)

Agreed.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at March 26, 2026 06:37 PM (zZu0s)

237 Uh...pass.
Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at March 26, 2026 06:35 PM (snZF9)

Yeah. Me too. Plenty of other stuff out there.

Posted by: Stateless - Day 7 of 14 or so - extreme dog care at March 26, 2026 06:37 PM (Sco7b)

238
Fen, are you sitting on the nest?

Posted by: Jimmy Stewart at March 26, 2026 06:37 PM (2Ez/1)

239 Finally the drill sergeant is able to stop laughing long enough to shout "ALL CLEAR!"
Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at March 26, 2026 06:31 PM (ZOv7s)

I had a massive screwup in basic that I now look back on and laugh. There was a small brick building filled with tear gas… we all had to go in with our gas masks… well I didn’t properly seal mine so after 5 seconds in there I can’t breathe…. I panic and run for the door. The drill sargent tries to block me but I’m so panicked I just run right over him in my desperation to breathe. He didn’t even punish me…. He looked at me on my knees retching and probably figured that was punishment enough. I laugh now but it wasn’t funny in the moment. Moral of the story - Seal your gas mask properly stupid!

Posted by: LinusVanPelt at March 26, 2026 06:38 PM (xT8gx)

240 Who is muy macho, Clive Barker or Neil Gaiman?

Posted by: tubal at March 26, 2026 06:38 PM (/HeZH)

241 226 That "female" "journalist" in the video at the end looks like a cross between Hilary Swank and the gyrocopter pilot in "The Road Warrior."
Posted by: Taro Tsujimoto
---

You really know how to hurt a queen's feelings.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at March 26, 2026 06:38 PM (jAisO)

242 Fen, are you sitting on the nest?
Posted by: Jimmy Stewart at March 26, 2026 06:37 PM (2Ez/1)
---
In the Lament Configuration?

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at March 26, 2026 06:38 PM (ZOv7s)

243 What that retarded thing left out in the last video is all these tranny athletes competing against women all still have their junk.

Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at March 26, 2026 06:38 PM (V4IXI)

244

Just saw a commercial on FNC for "Support Birthright Citizenship" sung to the tune of Born In the USA.

Sponsored by the ACLU

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at March 26, 2026 06:39 PM (Cqx++)

245 What does this have to do with exploding tuna cans?

Posted by: wth at March 26, 2026 06:39 PM (UjdFS)

246 245 What does this have to do with exploding tuna cans?
Posted by: wth at March 26, 2026 06:39 PM (UjdFS)

Or LotR ??

Posted by: tubal at March 26, 2026 06:40 PM (/HeZH)

247 243 What that retarded thing left out in the last video is all these tranny athletes competing against women all still have their junk.

Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at March 26, 2026 06:38 PM (V4IXI)

Well, this one think women can have "lady cocks" so that doesn't really bother her.

They are completely convinced their estrogen pills have magically transformed them into females and we're crazy for believing otherwise.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at March 26, 2026 06:41 PM (6ydKt)

248 That "female" "journalist" in the video at the end looks like a cross between Hilary Swank and the gyrocopter pilot in "The Road Warrior."
Posted by: Taro Tsujimoto
---
Fun fact: Bruce Spence, who played the Gyro Captain, also played The Mouth of Sauron in "The Return of the King."

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at March 26, 2026 06:41 PM (60TZk)

249 He looked at me on my knees retching and probably figured that was punishment enough. I laugh now but it wasn’t funny in the moment. Moral of the story - Seal your gas mask properly stupid!
Posted by: LinusVanPelt at March 26, 2026 06:38 PM (xT8gx)
---
I mean it's part proficiency, part discipline. Make sure it's good and sealed. See, isn't this nice. Gas everywhere, but we're breathing just fine.

Now take it off.

When I went through, Saddamite Iraq was the expected enemy with chemical weapons, so we got hit with CS a lot. With glasses, I had to move fast to get the geek strap off, pocket the frames and then mask fast enough to keep it out. I did, although one time I a little got in, but I was able to clear it.

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at March 26, 2026 06:41 PM (ZOv7s)

250 Fun fact: Bruce Spence, who played the Gyro Captain, also played The Mouth of Sauron in "The Return of the King."
Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at March 26, 2026 06:41 PM (60TZk)
---
He must have had some work done.

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at March 26, 2026 06:42 PM (ZOv7s)

251 Well, this one think women can have "lady cocks" so that doesn't really bother her.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at March 26, 2026 06:41 PM (6ydKt)
---
She has to take what she can get.

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at March 26, 2026 06:43 PM (ZOv7s)

252 .. Of course, as anyone will tell you, they are completely ineffective, especially as the weeks of coed basic training wear on.
Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at March 26, 2026 06:17 PM (ZOv7s)

Coed Army BCT? I was in the 1st coed Basic Combat Training at Fort Dix, NJ in the Fall of 1978. Delta-Five-Three Dragons. We had Press covering us, etc. Sound familiar?

Posted by: TXMarko at March 26, 2026 06:43 PM (7flhA)

253 Posted by: SpeakingOf at March 26, 2026 06:41 PM (6ydKt)

I've always believed if the compromise was presented that you can compete as a female only if you were fully transitioned there would no longer be any tranny female athlete competitors.

Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at March 26, 2026 06:44 PM (V4IXI)

254 Fun fact: Bruce Spence, who played the Gyro Captain, also played The Mouth of Sauron in "The Return of the King."

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at March 26, 2026 06:41 PM (60TZk)

It's a good thing he got a credit because nobody would be able to identify him otherwise.

It's not exactly a a great headshot he can add to the portfolio.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at March 26, 2026 06:44 PM (6ydKt)

255 Trump surrenders again on Strait of Hormoz
New rd line date April 6


😡BUT THIS TIME HE REALLY REALLY MEANS IT!

Posted by: Aliassmithsmith at March 26, 2026 06:45 PM (l1aSU)

256 The boys in girls sports ban is a 90-10 issue.

This should be our issue. It should be beaten to death, like the left beats the drums of abortion “rights” every time an election nears.

Any father with a daughter who is involved in sports will object to having his daughter share locker rooms with and competing against boys. The athletes want a fair playing field.

It really is a 90-10 issue.

Posted by: nurse ratched at March 26, 2026 06:45 PM (ie65O)

257 Ah ace! This deserves a spot on the greatest hit list man!

Posted by: McDirty at March 26, 2026 06:45 PM (RWXeq)

258 I was busy today and just saw this. Fucking brilliant. Kaboom level writing. Instant sidebar save. Love it.!!!!

Posted by: Simplemind at March 26, 2026 06:46 PM (YrUlT)

259 This is great news, Trump's signature will appear on all currency! In addition to Sec Treas signature. Best troll ever!!

Posted by: runner at March 26, 2026 06:46 PM (GD0B3)

260 253 Posted by: SpeakingOf at March 26, 2026 06:41 PM (6ydKt)

I've always believed if the compromise was presented that you can compete as a female only if you were fully transitioned there would no longer be any tranny female athlete competitors.

Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at March 26, 2026 06:44 PM (V4IXI)

I imagine 75% would have so many health complications after the surgery that they wouldn't be able to compete anyhow.

Posted by: SpeakingOf at March 26, 2026 06:46 PM (6ydKt)

261 Kevin Dalton
@TheKevinDalton

1h
There is zero election integrity in Gavin Newsom’s lawless California.

Again, JJ Smith catches fraudsters paying homeless people in San Francisco $5 to sign a multitude of petitions.

How is it that JJ can find these guys but law enforcement cannot?

Posted by: 13times at March 26, 2026 06:46 PM (Bukd2)

262 Posted by: Aliassmithsmith at March 26, 2026 06:45 PM (l1aSU)
----------
Nah, he's got the mullahs on the ropes.

And the ceiling. The floor. That wall a quarter mile away...

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at March 26, 2026 06:47 PM (60TZk)

263 Coed Army BCT? I was in the 1st coed Basic Combat Training at Fort Dix, NJ in the Fall of 1978. Delta-Five-Three Dragons. We had Press covering us, etc. Sound familiar?
Posted by: TXMarko at March 26, 2026 06:43 PM (7flhA)
---
By 2000 the big issue was cadre sleeping with trainees, and they had all sorts of rules about not touching trainees at all, instead directed other privates to adjust gear. The females had their own floor, which was on the top floor in the previous cycle, but they lowered bedsheets down and they guys climbed up during the night and got freaky. They were dimed out by the one chick who couldn't find a date.

During my cycle they had to Article 15 a few couples, but the smart ones waited until we were in the woods, though that sex would have been gruesome after a road march and sleeping in a hole.

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at March 26, 2026 06:47 PM (ZOv7s)

264 We be alls herd that Trump is now bombing chilrin collet hospitals in th a ts Iraun place. This bothers us and calls on Presdent Obana dew something abouts this now !

Posted by: Mary Cloggistein from Brattleboro, Vt at March 26, 2026 06:48 PM (PuIbQ)

265 NOOD quick hits

Posted by: barbarausa at March 26, 2026 06:48 PM (enw9G)

266 I imagine 75% would have so many health complications after the surgery that they wouldn't be able to compete anyhow.
Posted by: SpeakingOf at March 26, 2026 06:46 PM (6ydKt

They aren't cutting off their dick because they don't really want to physically be a woman. They just want to role play.

Posted by: Harry Vandenburg at March 26, 2026 06:48 PM (V4IXI)

267 "If a woman suspects that she might not pass this screening, she might be deterred from pursuing sport altogether."

Suspects? Suspects? That word is doing a LOT of heavy lifting here. I think the "woman" in question KNOWS what the answer is before the est is even done.

And by the fucking way, if their test comes up XY they can still fucking compete...against the men. And since men and woman are equal, and anything a man can do a woman can do better, this should be no problem, eh?

Posted by: The Whine Guy at March 26, 2026 06:49 PM (vOtXJ)

268 God be with you, troll. Jesus loves you. He is waiting for you. You don't have to do this.

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at March 26, 2026 06:49 PM (ZOv7s)

269 Face it, you have a Y, you are a guy.

Posted by: The Whine Guy at March 26, 2026 06:50 PM (vOtXJ)

270 A blood test will discourage married women from competing because they may be unable to find one of their X chromosomes.

Posted by: 29Victor at March 26, 2026 06:50 PM (0MjtC)

271 We be alls herd that Trump is now bombing childrin coller hospitals in thats Irun place.

This bothers us and we be calls on Presdent Obana dew something abouts this now !

Posted by: Mary Clogginstein from Brattleboro, Vt at March 26, 2026 06:50 PM (geT9b)

272 One word of caution - we are celebrating the fact that the IOC adopted the most sane and logical solution. That we have to have multiyear debates over perfectly sane and rational solutions is part of the problem.

Posted by: The Whine Guy at March 26, 2026 06:51 PM (vOtXJ)

273 Ace (if you're still here), _Hellraiser_ is available on Prime, plus some free sites:
https://watch.plex.tv/movie/hellraiser-1987
https://tinyurl.com/yp93f8tr
https://tubitv.com/search/Hellraiser

Posted by: 6eyes at March 26, 2026 06:52 PM (n/le7)

274 Nood.

Quick hits.

Posted by: Stateless - Day 7 of 14 or so - extreme dog care at March 26, 2026 06:52 PM (Sco7b)

275 269 Face it, you have a Y, you are a guy.

Disagree... If you have a Real Y down yonder you are a biological Female. And if you have a Slong and Ball Sack you are a Biological Male...

Posted by: Jackson K. at March 26, 2026 06:53 PM (geT9b)

276 To crush your enemies. To drive them before you. To ban the lament configurations of their transwomen.

Posted by: Conan the Olympian at March 26, 2026 06:54 PM (yFLFB)

277 227 anyone mention this? very funny video if you have 6 minutes. (take out the space)

https://twitchy.com/justmindy/2026/03/26/ trans-lawyer-hissy-fit-court-n2426480
Posted by: gnats local 678 at March 26, 2026 06:35 PM (CWTWj)

Fabulous! That is one worthless twat right there. Fat woman with a beard, assumes the world owes her respect, finds out you have to earn it. Maybe if she had learned that earlier, like, from her parents, she wouldn't be a bearded freak now.

I appreciate how very patient everyone was with her. No reason they should have been, except for manners, which she clearly lacked.

Posted by: tcn in AK at March 26, 2026 06:55 PM (DwqWV)

278 "Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at March 26, 2026 06:47 PM (ZOv7s) By 2000 the big issue was cadre sleeping with trainees..."

Oh, the stories I could tell. All that happened in 1978 (including the Road March and Bivouac hookups). Lots of weed smoking by the Drill Instructors as they were all Vietnam Vets, but they were tough, just the same.

I need to read your Blog, A.H. Lloyd...

Posted by: TXMarko at March 26, 2026 06:59 PM (7flhA)

279 A glimmer of sanity from the IOC. Maybe. Maybe they are hoping someone will issue a legal challenge and that will give them an excuse to let trannys compete against actual women.

Its so obvious that anyone born male has a huge physical advantage over actual women that it boggles my mind that the IOC and college athletic programs ever allowed it. If they had to protect the tranny feelz they could have just made name changes to XX and XY divisions.

Posted by: PaleRider at March 26, 2026 07:03 PM (+89TD)

280 Newsom 'He's a stupud guy. We don't need a stupid guy.'

Man, Trumps on fire.
===
When you speak truth into chaos, it brings order. Jordan Peterson.

The Word. Think about it.

Then consider Ace of spades HQ. Ace is doing God's work. Order into chaos. Thanks buddy. It's important.

Posted by: Simplemind at March 26, 2026 07:06 PM (YrUlT)

281 And for the last time, just because you find you have a Y chromosome DOESN'T mean you can't compete.

It means you compete with the men.

Posted by: The Whine Guy at March 26, 2026 07:12 PM (vOtXJ)

282 Ejaculations? 4.5

Posted by: toby928(c) at March 26, 2026 07:28 PM (4NO2D)

283 A glimmer of sanity from the IOC. Maybe. Maybe they are hoping someone will issue a legal challenge and that will give them an excuse to let trannys compete against actual women.

Its so obvious that anyone born male has a huge physical advantage over actual women that it boggles my mind that the IOC and college athletic programs ever allowed it. If they had to protect the tranny feelz they could have just made name changes to XX and XY divisions.
Posted by: PaleRider at March 26, 2026 07:03 PM (+89TD)

I think the sanity was that Trump told them that sweet US corporate money and ads were on the line if they pulled that crap.

Posted by: Oldcat at March 26, 2026 08:14 PM (RRloY)

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