The New Ayatollah is Probably Gay and What Is Even More Disqualifying, He's Also Dead

A week or two ago, a story ran in the Daily Mail stating that Moqtaba Khamenei had to go to a clinic to cure his impotency. He could not get his wife pregnant, the story went.

Well, there are various reasons for an inability to achieve an erection with a woman, as analrapist Dr. Tobias Funke could tell you.

Mojtaba just isn't into mish.

President Trump was stunned to learn last week that US intelligence indicates new Iranian Supreme Leader Mojtaba Khamenei may be gay -- and that his father, the late Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, feared his suitability to rule the Islamic Republic for that reason, The Post can reveal.
Trump couldn't contain his surprise and laughed aloud when he was briefed on the intel, according to sources.
Others in the room also found it "hilarious" and joined the president's reaction, while one senior intelligence official "has not stopped laughing about it for days," said one person familiar with the briefing.
The shocking claim was described to The Post by two intelligence community officials and a third person close to the White House.
All three sources say the implausible-sounding allegation is viewed as credible by US spy agencies, rather than false information intended to undermine Khamenei, 56, who was selected to replace his dead father as supreme leader on March 8.
Two of the sources said the intelligence indicated that Mojtaba, who earned the nickname "the power behind the robes" while serving as his aging dad's gatekeeper, has had a long-term sexual relationship with his childhood tutor.

The power bottom under the robes more like

The third source said the intelligence indicated the affair was with a person who formerly worked for the Khamenei family.
Mojtaba, who is believed to have been wounded in the same Feb. 28 airstrike that killed his father and other members of his family, has made "aggressive" sexual overtures to men caring for him, possibly while under the influence of heavy medication, one of The Post's sources said.
US spy agencies do not have photographic evidence of Mojtaba Khamenei's alleged sexual attraction to men, but the sources insisted the tip is solid, with one saying it was "derived from one of the most protected sources that the government has."
...
Mojtaba's purported sexual orientation had been whispered about inside Iran since at least the May 2024 helicopter crash that killed then-President Ebrahim Raisi, Ali Khamenei's presumed favorite to be the next supreme leader, sources said.

...
Some elements of Mojtaba Khamenei's sex life have been reported before and may lend credence to the allegation.
A classified US diplomatic cable from 2008, published by WikiLeaks, described Mojtaba being treated in the UK for impotence, though that report did not identify what may have caused the condition.
The State Department file says Mojtaba married "relatively late in life" -- around age 30 -- "reportedly due to an impotency problem treated and eventually resolved during three extended visits to the UK, at Wellington and Cromwell Hospitals, London."
"Mojtaba was expected by his family to produce children quickly, but needed a fourth visit to the UK for medical treatment; after a stay of two months, his wife became pregnant," the leaked file said.

...
Homosexual conduct is illegal in Iran, though the government does allow surgical sex change operations, which some gay men reportedly are pressured into undergoing to avoid criminal penalties.
Sodomy is a capital offense in the nation of 93 million people, with some gay Iranians infamously hanged from construction cranes as a warning to others.
"In Iran, we don't have homosexuals," former Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, who is believed to be an ally of the younger Khamenei, claimed in 2007.

Recent reports say that he's in a coma following an airstrike and has no awareness that there's a war on or that he's confined to a hospital.

Iran's new Supreme Leader is unaware of the ongoing war in the Middle East and does not know he is the Islamic Republic's new leader, according to a new report.
Mojtaba Khamenei, 56, succeeded his father, Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, following his assassination on February 28.
He is reportedly in a coma at the Sina University Hospital in Tehran following an airstrike, according to a source in Tehran.
Due to his condition, he does not know of the ongoing war, the death of his family members, including his wife and son and of his own election as Supreme leader, the source said.
Mojtaba is also reportedly in intensive care and surrounded by security officials, while a large section of the hospital has been sealed off to guard Iran's Supreme Leader.
It is unclear whether Mojtaba was injured in the same air strikes which killed his 86-year-old father.
A separate source told The Sun through secret messages sent to an exiled dissident based in London: 'One or two of his legs have been cut off. His liver or stomach has also ruptured. He is apparently in a coma as well.'

Trump notes that there are reports he's dead:

President Trump on Mojtaba Khamenei: “A lot of people are saying that he's badly disfigured. They’re saying that he lost his leg... Other people are saying he’s dead. Nobody is saying he’s 100% healthy, and he hasn’t spoken... we don’t know if he’s dead.”pic.twitter.com/723pzlZaC4
— Paul A. Szypula 🇺🇸 (@Bubblebathgirl) March 16, 2026

🚨🇺🇸🇮🇷The man his own father reportedly called unqualified to lead Iran is now either in hiding, injured, or dead.

Nobody has seen Mojtaba Khamenei since the strikes began.

The Islamic Republic is facing a leadership vacuum at its most critical moment.pic.twitter.com/bR5oscJS2n https://t.co/yIsqrJmTGT
— Mario Nawfal (@MarioNawfal) March 16, 2026

I don't know why they picked this guy. I saw speculation by Tousi, which sounded like a joke, that the guy they picked as "leader" was already conveniently dead so that they couldn't kill him again. And of course to hide the real new "Supreme Leader."

Adding to the evidence that Mojtaba is dead: Iran is claiming Bibi Netanyahu is dead.

🚨 JUST IN: Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu posts humorous PROOF OF LIFE video after people theorized — with zero evidence — he was dead

"They say I'm what?!" 😭

Your turn, Iran.

Produce proof of life of "Supreme Leader" Mojtaba Khamenei! pic.twitter.com/6wWWg6CzOL
— Eric Daugherty (@EricLDaugh) March 15, 2026

The old "I'm rubber you're dead" tactic.

Posted by: Disinformation Expert Ace at 02:21 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Dead Gay Ayatollahs are not much fun.

Posted by: r hennigantx at March 16, 2026 02:21 PM (gbOdA)

2 of is it Gay Dead

Posted by: r hennigantx at March 16, 2026 02:21 PM (gbOdA)

3 Uganda: Why are you gay?

Hegseth: Why are you dead?

Posted by: 18-1 at March 16, 2026 02:22 PM (sKqQm)

4 Tangential:

https://x.com/NoLimitGains/status/
2033450106175758731

Iran fired no missiles yesterday. They only launched 10 drones.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at March 16, 2026 02:23 PM (p7EWr)

5 Bring out your dead Ayatollahs.

Posted by: r hennigantx at March 16, 2026 02:23 PM (gbOdA)

6 Can we get a survey of what Iranians think of having a gay leader?

The results would be hilarious.

Posted by: 18-1 at March 16, 2026 02:23 PM (sKqQm)

7 I missed a post. Huh.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at March 16, 2026 02:24 PM (zZu0s)

8 Iran fired no missiles yesterday. They only launched 10 drones.

Remember the guy that created the Iranian drone industry is Barack Obama

Posted by: 18-1 at March 16, 2026 02:24 PM (sKqQm)

9 Recent reports say that he's in a coma following an airstrike and has no awareness that there's a war on or that he's confined to a hospital.

=======

Figurehead so that the Politboro, so to speak, can feud it out for territory.

While being merced by the most powerful and dominating military force on earth.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at March 16, 2026 02:24 PM (p7EWr)

10 Iran fired no missiles yesterday. They only launched 10 drones.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at March 16, 2026 02:23 PM (p7EWr)

SPAAAACCCCCCCEEEE FFOOOOORRRCCCCCEEE

Posted by: r hennigantx at March 16, 2026 02:24 PM (gbOdA)

11 If you don't have to be alive to vote I don't see why you should have to be alive to rule Iran.

Posted by: Red Turban Someguy at March 16, 2026 02:24 PM (okun6)

12 >>>The New Ayatollah is Probably Gay

to be fair, repressing homos while being homo is a big part of Islam

Posted by: brak at March 16, 2026 02:25 PM (jGJov)

13 Gay and dead? That could be a problem.

Posted by: Northernlurker , Maple Syrup MAGA at March 16, 2026 02:25 PM (wTZkm)

14 BTW the US government needs to keep pounding on the fact this guy is dead or at least OoA.

Why?

Let's let the various midtier Iranian leaders start asking, "Why shouldn't I be the boss?"

Posted by: 18-1 at March 16, 2026 02:25 PM (sKqQm)

15 He's probably more offended by being call gay than dead.

Liberace looked at him and said 'take it back a notch.'

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at March 16, 2026 02:26 PM (zZu0s)

16 FIRST!!!!!

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at March 16, 2026 02:27 PM (Zz0t1)

17 I know how to verify if he's dead or not. Check Democrat Party voter rolls. If he's on them then he's definitely dead. And will be voting against Trump come November.

Posted by: Chairborne!...Desk From Above! at March 16, 2026 02:27 PM (2bnFA)

18 If you don't have to be alive to vote I don't see why you should have to be alive to rule Iran.

Trump: Have you ever had your heard measured for one of those turban things they wear in Iran?

Rubio: No, why?

Trump: Uh, don't worry about it, hey you saw I have that meeting for you next week right? Uh, don't wear a hat or anything ok?

Posted by: 18-1 at March 16, 2026 02:27 PM (sKqQm)

19 The most NPC of Ayatollahs, the Cardboard Ayatollah.

Somewhere Douglas Adams is rolling in his grave.

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 16, 2026 02:27 PM (2GVsD)

20 The lite a missile.
Space Force detects launch within about 30 seconds and has launch site with about 3 metres.
That gets zapped to AWACS.
AWACA sends closest assets to Whack the Launcher.

Posted by: r hennigantx at March 16, 2026 02:27 PM (gbOdA)

21 "Congratulations. You're our new supreme leader."

"We will be hanging you from a crane now, homo"

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at March 16, 2026 02:27 PM (Zz0t1)

22 Dead, gay, and stupid is no way to go through life.

Posted by: eleven at March 16, 2026 02:28 PM (aTgV0)

23 "Mojtaba was expected by his family to produce children quickly, but needed a fourth visit to the UK for medical treatment; after a stay of two months, his wife became pregnant," the leaked file said.

So the IVF finally took. Like Barry and Big Mike's kids.

Posted by: First Gay American President at March 16, 2026 02:28 PM (TbWk/)

24 I mean, he coulda pulled out from the goat in time to impregnate his 'wife,' right?

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at March 16, 2026 02:28 PM (Zz0t1)

25 So is this like a real-life Braveheart where the king's son is a twink? Did the elder ayatollah ever heave his son's gay lover out the window?

Not that there's anything wrong with it!!

Posted by: LinusVanPelt at March 16, 2026 02:28 PM (xT8gx)

26 Iran's new Supreme Leader is unaware of the ongoing war in the Middle East and does not know he is the Islamic Republic's new leader, according to a new report.

When did Joey Bidet move to Tehran?

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 16, 2026 02:29 PM (2GVsD)

27 Not The Bee had an article about how the cardboard cutout was an AI joke but I dunno. It was really well done if it was AI.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 16, 2026 02:29 PM (PYyV9)

28 Mojtaba was expected by his family to produce children quickly, but needed a fourth visit to the UK for medical treatment; after a stay of two months, his wife became pregnant," the leaked file said.

So the IVF finally took. Like Barry and Big Mike's kids.

He went to the UK huh. Anyone check to see if "his" kids are blonde and pale?

Posted by: 18-1 at March 16, 2026 02:29 PM (sKqQm)

29 I wonder if he had a gold lame turban?

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at March 16, 2026 02:29 PM (zZu0s)

30 The power bottom under the robes more like

That's hot!

Posted by: Brian Stelter at March 16, 2026 02:29 PM (Zz0t1)

31 Trump: Uh, don't worry about it, hey you saw I have that meeting for you next week right? Uh, don't wear a hat or anything ok?
Posted by: 18-1 at March 16, 2026 02:27 PM (sKqQm)

Theres a pic on X of him sitting besides the cardboard gay dead Ayatollah.

Posted by: r hennigantx at March 16, 2026 02:29 PM (gbOdA)

32 Did the elder ayatollah ever heave his son's gay lover out the window?

I feel bad about it but that is my absolute favorite scene in the movie. I know they were trying to emphasize Longshanks as a terrible person but everyone in the audience laughed and applauded. Maybe Mel Gibson knew how it would play heh

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 16, 2026 02:30 PM (PYyV9)

33 Let's let the various midtier Iranian leaders start asking, "Why shouldn't I be the boss?"
_____

More likely "If you want to volunteer to be the next Supreme Leader, take one step forward"
*everyone takes one step back, except one clueless guy*

Posted by: Chuck Martel at March 16, 2026 02:30 PM (Dv3i1)

34 I mean, he coulda pulled out from the goat in time to impregnate his 'wife,' right?
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at March 16, 2026 02:28 PM (Zz0t1)

I guess the question at issue is whether it was a male or female goat.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at March 16, 2026 02:30 PM (zZu0s)

35 He went to the UK huh. Anyone check to see if "his" kids are blonde and pale?

"Its a recessive gene! And so are the black kids!"
--Mrs Ayatollah

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 16, 2026 02:30 PM (PYyV9)

36 'One or two of his legs have been cut off. His liver or stomach has also ruptured. He is apparently in a coma as well.'

Damn! That's pretty near all of them.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at March 16, 2026 02:30 PM (8zz6B)

37 The Death of Mohita is the blockbuster sequel to Death of Stalin.

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 16, 2026 02:31 PM (2GVsD)

38 "Mojtaba ... has had a long-term sexual relationship with his childhood tutor."

Beginning when? There could be much more to this story.

Assuming it's true. This could be oppo propaganda from political opponents looking to deep-six him while he's on his deathbed (or dead).

While being outted as gay in the USA usually gets you more sex and free jars of lube, in Islamic countries being gay is considered a crime against nature. So anyone angling to get rid of this creep would want people to think he liked penis.

I think the guy is toast regardless.

Posted by: Elric The Blade at March 16, 2026 02:31 PM (iFTx/)

39 So is this like a real-life Braveheart where the king's son is a twink? Did the elder ayatollah ever heave his son's gay lover out the window?

Not that there's anything wrong with it!!

Posted by: LinusVanPelt at March 16, 2026 02:28 PM (xT8gx)

I want to hear poster Defenestrus' opinion on this (if he's here) as he's a subject matter expert. Heh.

Posted by: Chairborne!...Desk From Above! at March 16, 2026 02:31 PM (2bnFA)

40 23 "Mojtaba was expected by his family to produce children quickly, but needed a fourth visit to the UK for medical treatment; after a stay of two months, his wife became pregnant," the leaked file said.

So the IVF finally took. Like Barry and Big Mike's kids.
Posted by: First Gay American President at March 16, 2026 02:28 PM (TbWk/)

Now they just have to explain why the kid looks like Trevon Martin.

Posted by: r hennigantx at March 16, 2026 02:31 PM (gbOdA)

41 "In Iran, we don't have homosexuals," former Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, who is believed to be an ally of the younger Khamenei, claimed in 2007.

"ally." That's code for 'butt buddy" right?

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at March 16, 2026 02:31 PM (Zz0t1)

42
Of course Flat Mojtaba cannot raise any wood -- he's made of cardboard -- DUH!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) Imprison! Imprison! Imprison! at March 16, 2026 02:31 PM (xG4kz)

43 I guess the question at issue is whether it was a male or female goat

Or in the case of a recent case... a chicken. Someone actually did F the chicken and got arrested. Hint: he may or may not have been named Muhammad.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 16, 2026 02:31 PM (PYyV9)

44 That's so South Park.

Posted by: Dark Litigator at March 16, 2026 02:32 PM (KAi1n)

45 First they said new 'Tollah was impotent, then dead, then in coma and lacking legs, and now that he's gay. Don't care whether it's true or not, that is top level propaganda. Gotta hand it to the Jews or whoever is coming up with this stuff; rulers can stand being hated, but being laughed at as a limp dick, legless pansy is a killer.

Another possibility is that US-Israel are trying to goad the b@$t@rd into showing his miserable face, and then BLAM!

Posted by: Martin Tell at March 16, 2026 02:32 PM (sFNX2)

46 Ayatollah of Rock-n-Rolla >>> This Gay Half-dead Legless Creep

Posted by: Elric The Blade at March 16, 2026 02:32 PM (iFTx/)

47 "Dead Gay Ayatollahs are not much fun.
Posted by: r hennigantx "

Rolley polley fishheads.

Posted by: eleven at March 16, 2026 02:32 PM (aTgV0)

48 I'm rubber, you're dead. What bounces off me ....well, you're dead.

Posted by: Blanket Party at March 16, 2026 02:32 PM (hyQrc)

49 The kid will look like Keir Starmer

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 16, 2026 02:32 PM (2GVsD)

50 "When a man needs to prove to a woman that he’s actually… When a man loves a woman, and he actually wants to make love to her, something very, very special happens. And with deep, deep concentration and great focus he is often able to achieve an erec—"

Posted by: mea culpa at March 16, 2026 02:32 PM (sLVuu)

51 US spy agencies do not have photographic evidence of Mojtaba Khamenei's alleged sexual attraction to men,
=
Any rando on X with an AI service could fix you up, geniuses.

Posted by: Methos at March 16, 2026 02:33 PM (vSvIl)

52 According to Tousi, Khamenei Sr also liked gladiator movies IYKWIM.

Posted by: BarelyScaryMary at March 16, 2026 02:33 PM (Oiv2s)

53 But does he have an autopen?

Posted by: Stateless at March 16, 2026 02:33 PM (Sco7b)

54 So MookTard may be pushing up pansies instead of daisies?

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at March 16, 2026 02:33 PM (IG3/x)

55 I was an Ayatollah.

All I got was this lousy T-shirt.

Posted by: eleven at March 16, 2026 02:33 PM (aTgV0)

56 Ok, this is some seriously funny shiite...

Posted by: man at March 16, 2026 02:33 PM (XuXeR)

57 You have three choices if you are discovered to be queer in Iran.

1) Undergo "sex change" surgery and "become a woman"
2) Die
3) If you are below the age of 13, become an elite's toy

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 16, 2026 02:33 PM (PYyV9)

58 I mean, of its standard fare to molest little boys, you have to expect the outcome to be this situation.

Posted by: Piper at March 16, 2026 02:33 PM (Wmg4n)

59 "I love my dead, gay Ayatollah!"

--Tucker

Posted by: 29Victor at March 16, 2026 02:33 PM (0MjtC)

60 Who is gayer? This guy or Obama?

Posted by: Elric The Blade at March 16, 2026 02:33 PM (iFTx/)

61 Why are so many people in government gay? Even in places where the government is killing gay people, leadership is gay. Why?

Posted by: bonhomme at March 16, 2026 02:34 PM (Zr/2T)

62 Gaylord has worn a turban in the past

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 16, 2026 02:34 PM (2GVsD)

63 "That's so South Park.
Posted by: Dark Litigator "

Hah. Exactly what I was thinking.

Posted by: eleven at March 16, 2026 02:34 PM (aTgV0)

64 That's so South Park.

I am sure they are hard at work writing an episode all about this incredibly low-hanging fruit... never mind its another episode about how Trump has a tiny penis and sleeps with Satan.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 16, 2026 02:34 PM (PYyV9)

65 There is some mighty fine Persian snizz to be had. If he can't pop a boner for those women, - he's a fag.

Posted by: Rev. Wishbone at March 16, 2026 02:34 PM (M9gjJ)

66
A dynasty built on twinks cannot stand.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) Imprison! Imprison! Imprison! at March 16, 2026 02:35 PM (xG4kz)

67 I see a paradox of epic proportions.

Posted by: Gmac,-WYF did you think was going to happen. at March 16, 2026 02:35 PM (l03fz)

68 Tousi noted that Bibi was declared on Friday and came back to life on Sunday as apparently some Jews have been known to do.

Posted by: Oddbob at March 16, 2026 02:35 PM (pUFoh)

69 South Park

Cartman as Ayatollah

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 16, 2026 02:35 PM (2GVsD)

70 US spy agencies do not have photographic evidence of Mojtaba Khamenei's alleged sexual attraction to men,"

Hey, check out my new Meta Ray Bans....

Posted by: man at March 16, 2026 02:35 PM (XuXeR)

71 "In Iran, we don't have homosexuals," former Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, who is believed to be an ally of the younger Khamenei, claimed in 2007.

Didn't some mullah issue a fatwa that basically said you aren't homosexual if you're a pitcher only, or are just sodomizing little boys?

Posted by: Only bottoms are gay at March 16, 2026 02:35 PM (TbWk/)

72 US spy agencies do not have photographic evidence of Mojtaba Khamenei's alleged sexual attraction to men, but the sources insisted the tip is solid

If the tip is solid when he sees naked men, that would certainly be proof of gayness.

Posted by: Ian S. at March 16, 2026 02:35 PM (2ocoG)

73 Gotta hand it to the Jews or whoever is coming up with this stuff; rulers can stand being hated, but being laughed at as a limp dick, legless pansy is a killer.

Posted by: Martin Tell at March 16, 2026 02:32 PM (sFNX2)
---
Especially in the Islamic world.

Calling a man "impotent" is about the deadliest insult over there.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at March 16, 2026 02:35 PM (ESVrU)

74 The Ayatolla, Obama and Trudeau walk into a bar....

Posted by: Stateless at March 16, 2026 02:35 PM (Sco7b)

75 We managed to survive a confined comatose leader with no awareness for four years. Maybe Iran still has a chance.

Posted by: 29Victor at March 16, 2026 02:35 PM (0MjtC)

76 First they said new 'Tollah was impotent, then dead, then in coma and lacking legs, and now that he's gay. Don't care whether it's true or not, that is top level propaganda. Gotta hand it to the Jews or whoever is coming up with this stuff; rulers can stand being hated, but being laughed at as a limp dick, legless pansy is a killer.

Posted by: Martin Tell at March 16, 2026 02:32 PM (sFNX2)

Next phase is that he is transitioning to a woman.

Posted by: Beartooth at March 16, 2026 02:35 PM (+Evw/)

77 And of course to hide the real new "Supreme Leader."

He's in double-secret supreme leadership.

Posted by: mikeski at March 16, 2026 02:36 PM (D6yEl)

78 Haha. Your ayatollah is a fag and his shit’s all retarded.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at March 16, 2026 02:36 PM (u73oe)

79 Why are so many people in government gay?

My question is how so many rappers are homosexual. What is the rap-pouf connection? I thought it was just a gag in Tropic Thunder when they let slip that the rapper was queer but apparently it was just commentary on the entire musical form. They all sing about banging bad bitches, but apparently prefer bumming dudes instead.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 16, 2026 02:36 PM (PYyV9)

80 Dead Gay Ayatollahs are not much fun.
Posted by: r hennigantx at March 16, 2026 02:21 PM (gbOdA)

Well played, sir. Well played.

https://youtu.be/N5sKpG6JIug?t=20

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at March 16, 2026 02:36 PM (Zz0t1)

81 CRT and I have the same joke

Posted by: r hennigantx at March 16, 2026 02:37 PM (gbOdA)

82 So now we gotta worry about the Gay Islamic Street Backlash?

Posted by: davidt at March 16, 2026 02:37 PM (Q+gd/)

83 So the cardboard Ayatollah is AI ? Darn...

Posted by: It's me donna at March 16, 2026 02:37 PM (VE6XX)

84 Yesterday:
"Netanyahu is dead!"

Today:
"How dare Netanyahu post a humorous proof of life video when there is a war going on."

:eyeroll

Posted by: 29Victor at March 16, 2026 02:37 PM (0MjtC)

85 60 Who is gayer? This guy or Obama?
Posted by: Elric The Blade at March 16, 2026 02:33 PM (iFTx/)

Que es mas fagalla?

Posted by: r hennigantx at March 16, 2026 02:37 PM (gbOdA)

86 CRT and I have the same joke

Yeah but yours was funnier

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 16, 2026 02:38 PM (PYyV9)

87 37 The Death of Mohita is the blockbuster sequel to Death of Stalin.
Posted by: Anna Puma
========
No doubt there is plenty of material for a biting satirical look at the Islamic regime right now.

Posted by: whig at March 16, 2026 02:38 PM (E4rtv)

88 So now we gotta worry about the Gay Islamic Street Backlash?

Iran's answer to the Backstreet Boys?

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 16, 2026 02:38 PM (2GVsD)

89 I think the cardboard ayatollah was a photoshop (or AI) of a real parody where some mullah brought out a portrait of Mojtaba in a gaudily-decorated plywood IKEA frame like he was actually there.
That was gay enough, although not as gay as Mojtaba himself, so pranksters ran with it.

Posted by: gKWVE at March 16, 2026 02:38 PM (gKWVE)

90
With all the intelligence wonders that have come to light during these past two or three years, do you mean to tell me that the Mossad has not yet perfected and delivered a functioning Gay-Dar?

I am disappoint.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) Imprison! Imprison! Imprison! at March 16, 2026 02:38 PM (xG4kz)

91 My question is how so many rappers are homosexual.

The music industry has a casting couch too, allegedly.

Posted by: Ian S. at March 16, 2026 02:38 PM (2ocoG)

92 Well played, sir. Well played.

https://youtu.be/N5sKpG6JIug?t=20
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at March 16, 2026 02:36 PM (Zz0t1)

that is correct

Posted by: r hennigantx at March 16, 2026 02:39 PM (gbOdA)

93 Light in the sandals?

Does the dude wear Crocs? That's a tell, you know.

Posted by: fd at March 16, 2026 02:39 PM (vFG9F)

94 Not The Bee:

UPDATE: There was never a cardboard ayatollah. The video was fake.

https://tinyurl.com/y8hpb5ya

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 16, 2026 02:39 PM (PYyV9)

95 "a real parody" - a real picture I meant. errrgh

Posted by: gKWVE at March 16, 2026 02:39 PM (gKWVE)

96 Getting your leg blown off is no joke. I can't count the number of times that's happened to me.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at March 16, 2026 02:39 PM (diia5)

97 88 So now we gotta worry about the Gay Islamic Street Backlash?

Iran's answer to the Backstreet Boys?
Posted by: Anna Puma at March 16, 2026 02:38 PM (2GVsD)

The Backshot Boys

Posted by: It's halalicious at March 16, 2026 02:39 PM (TbWk/)

98 the sources insisted the tip is solid"

"Here, let me push that stool in..."

/arg

Posted by: man at March 16, 2026 02:39 PM (XuXeR)

99 Women for reproduction, boys for pleasure.

Shot I heard in the ME.

Fucking sick.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at March 16, 2026 02:39 PM (g91t9)

100 Gay and dead but not necessarily in that order.

A lot of muslims become gay after they are killed

Posted by: S Hannity at March 16, 2026 02:39 PM (KMzr2)

101 I think the cardboard ayatollah was a photoshop (or AI) of a real parody where some mullah brought out a portrait of Mojtaba in a gaudily-decorated plywood IKEA frame like he was actually there.

No, the cardboard is real. People were in disbelief when IRGC officially posted it.

Posted by: Ian S. at March 16, 2026 02:39 PM (2ocoG)

102 Ewe know who is most relieved by this news?

Posted by: garrett at March 16, 2026 02:39 PM (erF49)

103 Shit I heard

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at March 16, 2026 02:40 PM (g91t9)

104 "Iran's new Supreme Leader is unaware of the ongoing war in the Middle East and does not know he is the Islamic Republic's new leader, according to a new report."

But he is very aware that one of his bodyguards is a big strapping stud with a big bulge in his pants!

Posted by: Elric The Blade at March 16, 2026 02:40 PM (iFTx/)

105 >> The New Ayatollah is Probably Gay and What Is Even More Disqualifying, He's Also Dead

Do you think he took the kill shot in the squeakhole?

I’m just askin questions.

Posted by: Marcus T at March 16, 2026 02:40 PM (vbdXu)

106 Oh go away

Posted by: ... at March 16, 2026 02:40 PM (KMzr2)

107 The music industry has a casting couch too, allegedly.

Oh come on, next you're going to tell me that Elton John is queer!

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 16, 2026 02:40 PM (PYyV9)

108 Iran fired no missiles yesterday

This is about me, isn't it?

Posted by: Supreme Impotant Mojtaba Khamenei at March 16, 2026 02:40 PM (MDua2)

109 So now we gotta worry about the Gay Islamic Street Backlash?

Iran's answer to the Backstreet Boys?
Posted by: Anna Puma at March 16, 2026 02:38 PM (2GVsD)

N-sync?

I'm doing this tonight, girl
Probably going to start a fight...

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at March 16, 2026 02:40 PM (zZu0s)

110 Why are so many people in government gay?

If you only hire people you want to bang in private industry eventually you get fired by YOUR boss, or your company tanks.

In government though? You don't need to produce ANYTHING of note. So you can hire people based on looks, politics, or likelihood to have sex on the house floor after hours...

Posted by: 18-1 at March 16, 2026 02:40 PM (sKqQm)

111 > My question is how so many rappers are homosexual.

It's the entertainment industry.

Posted by: bonhomme at March 16, 2026 02:41 PM (Zr/2T)

112 Man, they ought'a figure out a way out this

@disclosetv 8m
JUST IN - Cuba hit by nationwide electrical blackout, Ministry of Energy and Mines reports a "complete disconnection" of the country’s electrical system — AP

Posted by: weft cut-loop at March 16, 2026 02:41 PM (diia5)

113 106 Oh go away
Posted by: ... at March 16, 2026 02:40 PM (KMzr2)

Oh come on, Marcus T didn't say anything wrong.

Posted by: gKWVE, puttin' a jihad on ambiguously-directed comments at March 16, 2026 02:41 PM (gKWVE)

114 So is the cardboard Ayatollah the strong horse?

Posted by: eleven at March 16, 2026 02:41 PM (aTgV0)

115 I see Iran is attempting the Biden strategy

Where do you suppose the left is getting their info that US is somehow losing this quick battle?

From any 3td person perspective, I'd say all conclusions point to Mullahs go bye bye

Posted by: melodicmetal at March 16, 2026 02:41 PM (61TgR)

116 It’s a Dead Ayatollah’s Party. Who could ask for more?

Posted by: Cow Demon at March 16, 2026 02:41 PM (cnNUe)

117 I can't count the number of times that's happened to me.

Let me guess, you used to be an adventurer like me?

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 16, 2026 02:41 PM (PYyV9)

118 They figured out he was gay when he only watch the big gay dance movie scenes from Blazing Saddles.

Posted by: r hennigantx at March 16, 2026 02:41 PM (gbOdA)

119 Now I have Bye Bye Bye stuck in my head.

Fuck.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at March 16, 2026 02:41 PM (zZu0s)

120 Cuba has mines?

Posted by: eleven at March 16, 2026 02:42 PM (aTgV0)

121 So now we gotta worry about the Gay Islamic Street Backlash?

Iran's answer to the Backstreet Boys?
Posted by: Anna Puma at March 16, 2026 02:38 PM (2GVsD)
_____

Menudo with Ricky Martin

Posted by: Elric The Blade at March 16, 2026 02:42 PM (iFTx/)

122 Getting your leg blown off is no joke"

But one's arm is....

Posted by: man at March 16, 2026 02:42 PM (XuXeR)

123 They all sing about banging bad bitches, but apparently prefer bumming dudes instead.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor

Performative heterosexuality, because they're supposed to be the toughest manliest SoBs in existence?

Posted by: FeatherBlade at March 16, 2026 02:42 PM (a+4eV)

124 Oh come on, next you're going to tell me that Elton John is queer!
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 16, 2026 02:40 PM (PYyV9)

Now do Barry Manilow

Posted by: r hennigantx at March 16, 2026 02:42 PM (gbOdA)

125 112 Man, they ought'a figure out a way out this

@disclosetv 8m
JUST IN - Cuba hit by nationwide electrical blackout, Ministry of Energy and Mines reports a "complete disconnection" of the country’s electrical system — AP

Posted by: weft cut-loop at March 16, 2026 02:41 PM (diia5)

======

It's only because capitalists won't sell oil to communists.

Communism only exists when capitalists sell them oil.

Therefore, the real villain in this story is America refusing to sell oil to communist Cuba.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at March 16, 2026 02:43 PM (p7EWr)

126 Speaking of 90s boy bands, what has prevented me from watching Deadpool 3 is the incessant use of the worst pop music from the 90s. I think Ryan Reynolds is a lot like the Ayatollah, if you get my meaning.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 16, 2026 02:43 PM (PYyV9)

127
But one's arm is....

Posted by: man at March 16, 2026 02:42 PM (XuXeR)

*sobs*

*runs from room, screaming*

Posted by: Michelle Fields at March 16, 2026 02:43 PM (Zz0t1)

128 next you're going to tell me that Elton John is queer!"

Elton John is a gay.

Posted by: man at March 16, 2026 02:43 PM (XuXeR)

129 Tropical Thunder was prophecy. Literally.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at March 16, 2026 02:43 PM (zZu0s)

130 >>>My question is how so many rappers are homosexual.

The music industry has a casting couch too, allegedly.

Posted by: Ian S.

>Dude, when your britches are hanging below your ass cheeks, practically exposing your squeakhole, you might be gay.

Prison sex is a popular attraction in the rap culture.

Posted by: Rev. Wishbone at March 16, 2026 02:43 PM (M9gjJ)

131 119 Now I have Bye Bye Bye stuck in my head.

Fuck.
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at March 16, 2026 02:41 PM (zZu0s)

I can help you with that.

Posted by: Rick Astley at March 16, 2026 02:43 PM (XE5AP)

132 This is an opportunity for Senile Joe to demonstrate his debating prowess.

Posted by: Northernlurker , Maple Syrup MAGA at March 16, 2026 02:43 PM (wTZkm)

133 JUST IN - Cuba hit by nationwide electrical blackout, Ministry of Energy and Mines reports a "complete disconnection" of the country’s electrical system — AP
Posted by: weft cut-loop at March 16, 2026 02:41 PM (diia5)

Cousin in Miami figured out they had plugged in to his storage shed.

Posted by: r hennigantx at March 16, 2026 02:43 PM (gbOdA)

134
US intelligence indicates new Iranian Supreme Leader Mojtaba Khamenei may be gay -- and that his father, the late Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, feared his suitability to rule the Islamic Republic for that reason, The Post can reveal

--------

Wasn't the old guy honor-bound to hang his son from a crane in front of the world, if he knew his son was gay?

Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at March 16, 2026 02:43 PM (VWtfl)

135 Now do Barry Manilow
Posted by: r hennigantx

Do me!

Posted by: Rock Hudson at March 16, 2026 02:44 PM (gKWVE)

136 Oh come on, Marcus T didn't say anything wrong.

Posted by: gKWVE, puttin' a jihad on ambiguously-directed comments at March 16, 2026 02:41 PM (gKWVE)

You know damn well I was talking to myself dressed up as Hannity. Or maybe you don't but what am I gonna do, start being specific about everything?

Posted by: ... at March 16, 2026 02:44 PM (KMzr2)

137 Now I have Bye Bye Bye stuck in my head.

Fuck.

All of that late 90s/early 2000s Swedish-produced stuff is earworm crack.

Posted by: Ian S. at March 16, 2026 02:44 PM (2ocoG)

138 Heh. We need some of the meme-makers to produce images of Iran's Mojtaba Missiles: rockets that droop over so their warheads touch the ground.

Anna, can you prompt Tensor to do that?

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at March 16, 2026 02:44 PM (8zz6B)

139 Homosexuality is more prevalent than you know in the islamic world. If you heard about the happenings of alleged religious leaders in Iraq and Afghanistan, you would be shocked. Maybe.

Posted by: Marcus T at March 16, 2026 02:44 PM (vbdXu)

140
This faggot should do an updated rendition of Gloria Gaynor's gay anthem "I Won't Survive."

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at March 16, 2026 02:44 PM (BI5O2)

141
They figured out he was gay when he only watch the big gay dance movie scenes from Blazing Saddles

He was doing the Tehran Mistake

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) Imprison! Imprison! Imprison! at March 16, 2026 02:44 PM (xG4kz)

142 Dude, when your britches are hanging below your ass cheeks, practically exposing your squeakhole, you might be gay.

I was told by ex cons that wearing your pants sagging low in prison was code for "I like to be turked." No idea if that is still true or was actually the case but I like to think it was.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 16, 2026 02:44 PM (PYyV9)

143 runs from room, screaming*
Posted by: Michelle Fields"

Heh. Right over the plate, that was

Posted by: man at March 16, 2026 02:45 PM (XuXeR)

144 Did the Film Actors Guild opine on this last night?

Posted by: davidt at March 16, 2026 02:45 PM (Q+gd/)

145 Send Buttgiggle undercover to pump/get pumped by the Ayatollah for info. Do it for America Petey

Posted by: Smell the Glove at March 16, 2026 02:45 PM (YsPj+)

146 Cuba has mines?

It's so annoying when they follow you down the sidewalk making faces and then pretend that they're not doing anything when you turn around.

Posted by: Zombie Emily Litella at March 16, 2026 02:45 PM (pUFoh)

147 All the Iranian women's soccer team players have renounced their Australian asylum claims, and are returning to Iran, because their relatives are being tortured.

Meanwhile, the hypocrite USA woman's soccer players continue to criticize Donald Trump and Israel, but will not speak out against the human rights violations of Iran.

Posted by: Joemarine at March 16, 2026 02:45 PM (y171U)

148 He was doing the Tehran Mistake
Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) Imprison! Imprison! Imprison! at March 16, 2026 02:44 PM (xG4kz)

ha

Posted by: r hennigantx at March 16, 2026 02:45 PM (gbOdA)

149 This faggot should do an updated rendition of Gloria Gaynor's gay anthem "I Won't Survive.

That was a great scene in "The Replacements," though

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 16, 2026 02:46 PM (PYyV9)

150 Anyone else getting swamp King vibes from this? Everyone said I was daft to appoint a new supreme leader…

Posted by: Duke Lowell at March 16, 2026 02:46 PM (u73oe)

151 Did the Film Actors Guild opine on this last night?

Yes. And Alec Baldwin said "That is the fag way".

Posted by: Ian S. at March 16, 2026 02:46 PM (2ocoG)

152 The Ayatollahs bloodline has ended. Magua is pleased

Posted by: Field Marshal Zhukov at March 16, 2026 02:46 PM (wBaIH)

153 A dead, gay Muslim? That's the core demographic of the democratic party!

Posted by: Josephistan at March 16, 2026 02:46 PM (y9ksN)

154 Son, cardboard, ghey, and dead, is no way to go through life!

Posted by: Will Robinson at March 16, 2026 02:46 PM (FylAi)

155 Do me!
Posted by: Rock Hudson"

Liberace whimpers

Posted by: man at March 16, 2026 02:46 PM (XuXeR)

156 Come se dice He's Dead Jim in Farsi?

Posted by: r hennigantx at March 16, 2026 02:47 PM (gbOdA)

157 Cuba has mines?
Posted by: eleven at March 16, 2026 02:42 PM (aTgV0)

Cuba could have some mineral wealth. Of course, communists can't develop such things.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at March 16, 2026 02:47 PM (8zz6B)

158 144 Did the Film Actors Guild opine on this last night?
Posted by: davidt at March 16, 2026 02:45 PM (Q+gd/)

The movie musical based on his life will be released in April 2027.

Ironically, the movie will have a longer runtime than his time in power.

Posted by: Stateless at March 16, 2026 02:47 PM (Sco7b)

159 I love my dead gay son.

Posted by: GodMullah at March 16, 2026 02:47 PM (Cqx++)

160 Those poor Iranian women, they and their relatives will be tortured.

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 16, 2026 02:48 PM (2GVsD)

161 153 A dead, gay Muslim? That's the core demographic of the democratic party!
Posted by: Josephistan at March 16, 2026 02:46 PM (y9ksN)

And Mandami voter.

Posted by: r hennigantx at March 16, 2026 02:48 PM (gbOdA)

162 Homosexuality is more prevalent than you know in the islamic world. If you heard about the happenings of alleged religious leaders in Iraq and Afghanistan, you would be shocked. Maybe.
Posted by: Marcus T at March 16, 2026 02:44 PM (vbdXu)

The last chapter of Nicholas Irving's book tells of a night raid where they took out a camp full of jihadis. When they went in after dawn to survey the area, the men were in various states of perversion with each other at the moment of death.

All sins against islham are forgiven at the point of martyrdom. They just didn't get far enough to achieve it.

Posted by: Michelle Fields at March 16, 2026 02:48 PM (Zz0t1)

163
23 "Mojtaba was expected by his family to produce children quickly, but needed a fourth visit to the UK for medical treatment; after a stay of two months, his wife became pregnant," the leaked file said.

So the IVF finally took. Like Barry and Big Mike's kids.
Posted by: First Gay American President at March 16, 2026 02:28 PM

------

Maybe the medical treatment consisted of jerking off into a beaker while looking at gay porn.

Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at March 16, 2026 02:48 PM (VWtfl)

164 I was wondering why I kept seeing on Twitter leftists posting "Netanyahu dead". Where did that come from?

It turns out, it's classic projection. You know, "You're fascist and racist." "You're secretly gay" "Everybody cheats."

Posted by: Pete in Texas at March 16, 2026 02:48 PM (4cbQu)

165 All the Iranian women's soccer team players have renounced their Australian asylum claims, and are returning to Iran, because their relatives are being tortured.

Returning so they too can be tortured to death is a touching demonstration of family loyalty. I suppose

Posted by: FeatherBlade at March 16, 2026 02:48 PM (a+4eV)

166 Disappointed. No flat jokes.

Rachel Corrie hardest hit....

Posted by: man at March 16, 2026 02:48 PM (XuXeR)

167 Shyte.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at March 16, 2026 02:48 PM (Zz0t1)

168 If they through him off the roof, he'll most probably glide down safely.

Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at March 16, 2026 02:48 PM (5UTWB)

169 160 Those poor Iranian women, they and their relatives will be tortured.
Posted by: Anna Puma at March 16, 2026 02:48 PM (2GVsD)

That is very distressing... Not much can be done right now unfortunately...

Posted by: It's me donna at March 16, 2026 02:49 PM (VE6XX)

170 Cuba could have some mineral wealth. Of course, communists can't develop such things.

They produce a lot of nickel.

Posted by: Archimedes at March 16, 2026 02:49 PM (Riz8t)

171 Can we get a survey of what Iranians think of having a gay leader?

The results would be hilarious.
Posted by: 18-1 at March 16, 2026 02:23 PM (sKqQm)

It used to be in cultures in that area that mutilations also were a disqualification from being the Supreme Leader. One reason the Byzantines were so fond of putting out eyes or cutting off noses. This may be why all the Allied PR states clearly that he is mutilated and in hospital.

Posted by: Oldcat at March 16, 2026 02:49 PM (8avO+)

172 I think this queef being gay is more disqualifying than being dead

Posted by: Elric The Blade at March 16, 2026 02:49 PM (iFTx/)

173 Was the character of the boss in Weekend at Bernie's... was that character written as gay (along with being dead)?

Posted by: LinusVanPelt at March 16, 2026 02:49 PM (xT8gx)

174 There was one guy in Iraq that people were bringing their young’s boys to under the guise of being inducted into the cult. We had to go with the PAO to the sheikh to try and get him to stop.

Guess how that turned out.

Posted by: Marcus T at March 16, 2026 02:50 PM (vbdXu)

175 Did the Film Actors Guild opine on this last night?

Yes. And Alec Baldwin said "That is the fag way".
Posted by: Ian S. at March 16, 2026 02:46 PM (2ocoG)

MATT DAMON!!!

Posted by: Matt Damon at March 16, 2026 02:50 PM (Zz0t1)

176 Their twelfth imam is supposedly in a well somewhere. They’d have found him by now, but dogs are haram and they shot Lassie so…

Posted by: Duke Lowell at March 16, 2026 02:50 PM (u73oe)

177 A basic tenant of Islam is:

It's not gay if you (eventually) pull out.

Posted by: garrett at March 16, 2026 02:50 PM (erF49)

178 So ... when dead gay Islamists get to "heaven" the virgins waiting for them have really big dicks?

Posted by: Elric The Blade at March 16, 2026 02:50 PM (iFTx/)

179 Mojtaba a fag? He did supposedly spent a lot of time in London. Just sayin'.

Posted by: Ex Rex Reeder at March 16, 2026 02:50 PM (QaH55)

180 If they through him off the roof, he'll most probably glide down safely.
Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at March 16, 2026 02:48 PM (5UTWB)

Like a falling leaf.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at March 16, 2026 02:50 PM (8zz6B)

181 They’d have found him by now, but dogs are haram and they shot Lassie so…"

Timmy!

Posted by: man at March 16, 2026 02:51 PM (XuXeR)

182 Gayatollah just hangin' around at the drag bar.

https://x.com/ramble_rants/status/2033607880834740563

Posted by: 13times at March 16, 2026 02:51 PM (TaPE6)

183 91 My question is how so many rappers are homosexual.

The music industry has a casting couch too, allegedly.
Posted by: Ian S. at March 16, 2026 02:38 PM (2ocoG)

We're just friends ...

Posted by: David Bowie / Mick Jagger at March 16, 2026 02:51 PM (3sXRv)

184 We all knew they had the goy beam, but no one knew they had a gay beam!

Posted by: Candace Owens at March 16, 2026 02:51 PM (JCZqz)

185 Rachel Corrie hardest hit....

By a Cat D7.

Posted by: Ian S. at March 16, 2026 02:51 PM (2ocoG)

186
25 So is this like a real-life Braveheart where the king's son is a twink? Did the elder ayatollah ever heave his son's gay lover out the window?

Not that there's anything wrong with it!!
Posted by: LinusVanPelt at March 16, 2026 02:28 PM

---------

He'd have hanged the boyfriend from a crane without mentioning his son.

Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at March 16, 2026 02:51 PM (VWtfl)

187 Oh, Ace needs the image of the mullahs throwing the paperboard supreme leader off a building.

Posted by: bob (moron incognitus) at March 16, 2026 02:52 PM (Z4zOi)

188 So ... when dead gay Islamists get to "heaven" the virgins waiting for them have really big dicks?

No, they get 72 raisins, same as straight Islamists.

Sun-Maid is probably having to run an extra shift the way things have gone in Iran.

Posted by: Ian S. at March 16, 2026 02:52 PM (2ocoG)

189 Brokeback Natanz

Posted by: LinusVanPelt at March 16, 2026 02:52 PM (xT8gx)

190 Homosexuality is more prevalent than you know in the islamic world. If you heard about the happenings of alleged religious leaders in Iraq and Afghanistan, you would be shocked. Maybe.
Posted by: Marcus T

If you fuck little boys for pleasure, you're gay. I don't care how you try to justify it.

Posted by: rickb223 at March 16, 2026 02:52 PM (NcUvK)

191 OK... who in the hell turned the Hadron Collider back on...

Somehow reality has been shifted into a bad South Park episode.

Posted by: Romeo13 at March 16, 2026 02:53 PM (mP0Kj)

192 We killed a gay ayatollah just two and a half months before Pride Month?!? Hateful.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at March 16, 2026 02:53 PM (9FEtL)

193 My Ayatollah, flying like a plane

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 16, 2026 02:53 PM (2GVsD)

194 Those poor Iranian women, they and their relatives will be tortured.
Posted by: Anna Puma at March 16, 2026 02:48 PM (2GVsD)

The logical thing to do would be to intern them as enemy nationals. They can't go "home" to iran if they are imprisoned.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at March 16, 2026 02:53 PM (8zz6B)

195 You shouldn't make fun of the Mullahs like this. ... Gimme a minute, the CIA is after me. I can't tell you how I know. I can't expose any evidence because danger. But it's totally true.

Posted by: Tucker Carlson at March 16, 2026 02:53 PM (m0WlR)

196 Dead Gay Ayatollahs are not much fun.
Posted by: r hennigantx at March 16, 2026 02:21 PM (gbOdA)

They had everyone dancing in the aisles when I saw them at Shank Hall in '98

Posted by: OneEyedJack at March 16, 2026 02:53 PM (Hx0tZ)

197 Remember when Amadenajad said there was no one faaaaabulooouuuus in Iran?

Pepperidge Farm remembers…

Posted by: Cray Cray at March 16, 2026 02:53 PM (sP0VB)

198 In Afghanistan the Taliban fighters put no value on life. The AQ guys especially would tell you how they hated this life and wanted to die to get to the next one. When you start with that type of thinking nothing is sacred. It’s why they would slaughter children and use them in the most insidious ways. That wasn’t all the Afghan tribal communities, just the hardcore dirtbags.

Posted by: Marcus T at March 16, 2026 02:53 PM (vbdXu)

199 Brokeback Natanz
Posted by: LinusVanPelt at March 16, 2026 02:52 PM (xT8gx)

Trapped in The Qods Force

Posted by: Josephistan at March 16, 2026 02:53 PM (y9ksN)

200 The Babylon Bee is on a roll... all their material is being written for them. It's gold, Jerry... gold!!

Posted by: LinusVanPelt at March 16, 2026 02:53 PM (xT8gx)

201 speaking of ghey :

https://tinyurl.com/3t5t4rwu

😂😂🤣🤣

Posted by: runner at March 16, 2026 02:53 PM (GD0B3)

202 Saved him the trip to the roof of a building and quick descent.

Posted by: Unkaren at March 16, 2026 02:53 PM (OTOad)

203 Guys, I'm beginning to think that socialism is ... checks notes... bad.

@MacroEdgeRes Mar 14
Australian Energy Minister: We only have 18 days of gasoline; 16 days of diesel and 14 days of aviation fuel

Posted by: weft cut-loop at March 16, 2026 02:54 PM (diia5)

204 201 speaking of ghey :

https://tinyurl.com/3t5t4rwu

😂😂🤣🤣
Posted by: runner at March 16, 2026 02:53 PM (GD0B3)

LOL

Posted by: It's me donna at March 16, 2026 02:54 PM (VE6XX)

205 "The New Ayatollah is Probably Gay "
Which explains why his father put in his will that he did not want him to succeed him as leader.

His father knew his son's little secret.

Posted by: redridinghood at March 16, 2026 02:54 PM (NpAcC)

206 Some people I like on YT were giving Netanyahu being dead credence and now saying he released a " bizarre video" . WTF is wring with people?

Posted by: steevy at March 16, 2026 02:55 PM (YwEeS)

207 Dead dead? Or just brain dead like Joepedo Biden?

Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Totally Unserious at March 16, 2026 02:55 PM (xvV+O)

208 Checking out.

https://is.gd/pEz22n

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Damn It Feels Good to Be a Trumpster! at March 16, 2026 02:55 PM (ndZc7)

209 Did the Dead Gay Ayatollahs open for the Dead Kennedys ever?

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 16, 2026 02:55 PM (2GVsD)

210 Guys, I'm beginning to think that socialism is ... checks notes... bad.

@MacroEdgeRes Mar 14
Australian Energy Minister: We only have 18 days of gasoline; 16 days of diesel and 14 days of aviation fuel
Posted by: weft cut-loop at March 16, 2026 02:54 PM (diia5)
__________

"And 19 days of Vegemite!"

Posted by: Elric The Blade at March 16, 2026 02:55 PM (iFTx/)

211 MacroEdgeRes Mar 14
Australian Energy Minister: We only have 18 days of gasoline; 16 days of diesel and 14 days of aviation fuel
Posted by: weft cut-loop at March 16, 2026 02:54 PM (diia5)

Sucks to be you

Posted by: Hatari somewhere on Ventura Highway at March 16, 2026 02:55 PM (NtVYv)

212 163
23 "Mojtaba was expected by his family to produce children quickly, but needed a fourth visit to the UK for medical treatment; after a stay of two months, his wife became pregnant," the leaked file said.

So the IVF finally took. Like Barry and Big Mike's kids.
Posted by: First Gay American President at March 16, 2026 02:28 PM

------

Maybe the medical treatment consisted of jerking off into a beaker while looking at gay porn.
Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at March 16, 2026 02:48 PM (VWtfl)

May want to do a little ole DNA test on the Kiddo.

Posted by: Romeo13 at March 16, 2026 02:55 PM (mP0Kj)

213 203 Now they will blame our military action for their mismanagement.

Posted by: steevy at March 16, 2026 02:55 PM (YwEeS)

214 If you fuck little boys for pleasure, you're gay. I don't care how you try to justify it.

No, don't you see? They have sex with boys. They have relationships with women.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 16, 2026 02:56 PM (PYyV9)

215 Australia will go full Mad Max?

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 16, 2026 02:56 PM (2GVsD)

216 >>Australian Energy Minister: We only have 18 days of gasoline; 16 days of diesel and 14 days of aviation fuel

And they call their Island a Continent. SMH

Posted by: garrett at March 16, 2026 02:57 PM (erF49)

217 203 Guys, I'm beginning to think that socialism is ... checks notes... bad.

@MacroEdgeRes Mar 14
Australian Energy Minister: We only have 18 days of gasoline; 16 days of diesel and 14 days of aviation fuel

Posted by: weft cut-loop at March 16, 2026 02:54 PM (diia5)

========

1. Build more nukes.

2. Buy American oil, not Iranian oil.

3. I imagine there's a lot of off-shore oil that's not getting exploited around Australia. Could be wrong, but I doubt that.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at March 16, 2026 02:57 PM (p7EWr)

218 122 Getting your leg blown off is no joke"

But one's arm is....

Posted by: man at March 16, 2026 02:42 PM (XuXeR)

Just stop it, you have no idea!

Posted by: Michelle Fields at March 16, 2026 02:57 PM (wLjpr)

219 There's a better way.

Posted by: Eromero at March 16, 2026 02:57 PM (LHPAg)

220 Some people I like on YT were giving Netanyahu being dead credence and now saying he released a " bizarre video" . WTF is wring with people?
Posted by: steevy at March 16, 2026 02:55 PM (YwEeS)
----------
Chatting with a guy in a coffee shop is bizarre?

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at March 16, 2026 02:57 PM (Qa8VA)

221 AIDS kills.

Posted by: torabora at March 16, 2026 02:57 PM (7G6Fs)

222 >>>I love my dead gay son.

Posted by: GodMullah

>I don't care if my son is gay, as long as he's happy.

Posted by: Rev. Wishbone at March 16, 2026 02:57 PM (M9gjJ)

223 May want to do a little ole DNA test on the Kiddo.
Posted by: Romeo13 at March 16, 2026 02:55 PM (mP0Kj)

Wife got tired of waiting around? No shortage of viral Islamic men in old Londontown.

Posted by: Ex Rex Reeder at March 16, 2026 02:57 PM (QaH55)

224 Doubt ghey, but might be sleeping with hid goats

Posted by: Skip at March 16, 2026 02:57 PM (Ia/+0)

225 ome people I like on YT were giving Netanyahu being dead credence and now saying he released a " bizarre video" . WTF is wring with people?

One particularly sad individual did a SHOCKING video revealing how Netanyahu was shown with FOUR FINGERS AND A THUMB on his hand!

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 16, 2026 02:57 PM (PYyV9)

226 Australian Energy Minister: We only have 18 days of gasoline; 16 days of diesel and 14 days of aviation fuel"

So, it's a "full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses" time in Oz?

Posted by: man at March 16, 2026 02:58 PM (XuXeR)

227 In Afghanistan the Taliban fighters put no value on life. The AQ guys especially would tell you how they hated this life and wanted to die to get to the next one.

FML. Should have called me. I'd have helped them.

Posted by: rickb223 at March 16, 2026 02:58 PM (NcUvK)

228 Gay?? I wish!!

Posted by: Troy McClure at March 16, 2026 02:58 PM (sP0VB)

229 220 Some people I like on YT were giving Netanyahu being dead credence and now saying he released a " bizarre video" . WTF is wring with people?
Posted by: steevy at March 16, 2026 02:55 PM (YwEeS)
----------
Chatting with a guy in a coffee shop is bizarre?

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at March 16, 2026 02:57 PM (Qa8VA)

=====

If you freeze the video at a specific moment, the digital artifacts of the image compression make it look like he has six fingers!

So, it's obviously AI!

Unlike the videos of Tel Aviv being nuked, of course.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at March 16, 2026 02:58 PM (p7EWr)

230 Well, you don't know what we can find
Why don't you come with me, little boy
On a magic carpet ride

Posted by: Hatari somewhere on Ventura Highway at March 16, 2026 02:58 PM (NtVYv)

231 204 201 speaking of ghey :

https://tinyurl.com/3t5t4rwu

😂😂🤣🤣
Posted by: runner at March 16, 2026 02:53 PM (GD0B3)

LOL
Posted by: It's me donna at March 16, 2026 02:54 PM (VE6XX)

Clearly a CIA Operation Fake Video!!!!! we know because the I Ya Toll ya has both legs under that dress!

Posted by: Romeo13 at March 16, 2026 02:58 PM (mP0Kj)

232 I imagine there's a lot of off-shore oil that's not getting exploited around Australia. Could be wrong, but I doubt that.

Won't you people think of the Great Barrier Reef???

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 16, 2026 02:58 PM (PYyV9)

233 Australia will go full Mad Max?
Posted by: Anna Puma at March 16, 2026 02:56 PM (2GVsD)
-----------
They'll be hoarding the precious juice.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at March 16, 2026 02:58 PM (Qa8VA)

234 >>I love my dead gay son.

Posted by: GodMullah

Would you rather have a gay cardboard son or a recycled daughter?

Posted by: Iranian Transition Doctor at March 16, 2026 02:58 PM (erF49)

235 How long before he (or the next guy) are labeled "trans"? Approval for the war is about to go way up.

TBF I'd also find it pretty funny if I found out the fundamentalist theocracy I was at war with had just ended up with a gay supreme leader.

A normal presidency would be toppled over, if the president laughed disdainly at someone for being gay

It’s breathtakingly stupid. Even for this administration. What’s funny is that intelligence and the NY Post think this story is credible or relevant in anyway.

While this is hilarious, I feel like there’s a real darkness in this: like they’re gloating about his wife and children being dead.

Hegseth has also been running his mouth about how US bombardments have left Khamenei physically disfigured. I feel like they’re trying to bait him into public appearances while they hide in bunkers.

Posted by: Intercepted Reddit Transmissions brought by the Intrepid AoS Liaison at March 16, 2026 02:58 PM (JCZqz)

236 I found it!

https://x.com/Scott_C_Young/status/2033542101531541810

Worth a quick view.

Posted by: bob (moron incognitus) at March 16, 2026 02:58 PM (Z4zOi)

237 If you fuck little boys for pleasure, you're gay. I don't care how you try to justify it.

No, don't you see? They have sex with boys. They have relationships with women.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 16, 2026 02:56 PM (PYyV9)

You don't want to know what they do to the melons.

Posted by: Josephistan at March 16, 2026 02:59 PM (y9ksN)

238 Mohita/Mohitoria

Posted by: r hennigantx at March 16, 2026 02:59 PM (gbOdA)

239 A separate source told The Sun through secret messages sent to an exiled dissident based in London: 'One or two of his legs have been cut off.

*SNORT*

How did somebody lose count?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at March 16, 2026 02:59 PM (8DR9B)

240 All the Aussies will be like the helicopter guy in The Road Warrior. Putting pans under gas pumps to catch stray drops of gas

Posted by: Smell the Glove at March 16, 2026 02:59 PM (YsPj+)

241 We're have a big sale soon!

Posted by: Face Colanders R Us at March 16, 2026 02:59 PM (XE5AP)

242 I would totally smash Rachel Corrie.

Posted by: eleven at March 16, 2026 03:00 PM (aTgV0)

243 226 Australian Energy Minister: We only have 18 days of gasoline; 16 days of diesel and 14 days of aviation fuel"

So, it's a "full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses" time in Oz?
Posted by: man at March 16, 2026 02:58 PM (XuXeR)

Well, we could drive a tanker truck full of Petrol in to help...

Posted by: Mad Max... at March 16, 2026 03:00 PM (mP0Kj)

244 All mullahs are gay and hopefully dead soon.

Posted by: Sodomites R Us at March 16, 2026 03:00 PM (/1l9x)

245 >>Some people I like on YT were giving Netanyahu being dead credence and now saying he released a " bizarre video" . WTF is wring with people?

Part of if may be that Grok at one point said the video of Bibi at the coffee shop is AI-generated. Not sure if that is still Grok's contention.

Posted by: one hour sober at March 16, 2026 03:00 PM (Y1sOo)

246 I'm glad people already brought up the guys' virgins. Can we send them some playing cards and maybe some board games?

Posted by: Stateless at March 16, 2026 03:00 PM (Sco7b)

247 And 19 days of Vegemite"

1st prize is a case of Vegemite.
2nd prize is a pallet full...

Posted by: man at March 16, 2026 03:00 PM (XuXeR)

248 I love my dead gay son.
Posted by: GodMullah at March 16, 2026 02:47 PM

How very.

Posted by: Veronica at March 16, 2026 03:00 PM (bFu5X)

249 Gay and dead? Hey, he's working through his problems. The goat thing is an obstacle but he will deal with it.

Posted by: Case at March 16, 2026 03:00 PM (pvf3X)

250 It's only because capitalists won't sell oil to communists.

Communism only exists when capitalists sell them oil.

Therefore, the real villain in this story is America refusing to sell oil to communist Cuba.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison

Canada probably would love to sell them oil. But they've joined the communist side and now have to import oil also.

Posted by: Chuck Martel at March 16, 2026 03:00 PM (Dv3i1)

251 One or two of his legs have been cut off. His liver or stomach has also ruptured. He is apparently in a coma as well.'

Well, if he wakes up, he's gonna be besides himself in anger!

Posted by: Diogenes at March 16, 2026 03:01 PM (2WIwB)

252 He's dead. The question is how long can the mullahs and the IRGC keep the appearance up that he is. It's to their benefit to keep the lie going so they can continue the war under their own ROE.

And keep the public at bay.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at March 16, 2026 03:01 PM (AkEZC)

253 ll three sources say the implausible-sounding allegation is viewed as credible by US spy agencies....

***

I wonder what makes this "implausible-sounding" since the left thinks at least half the world is gay, or should be.

Posted by: LASue at March 16, 2026 03:01 PM (lCppi)

254 Is gayatollah a word?

Posted by: Northernlurker , Maple Syrup MAGA at March 16, 2026 03:01 PM (wTZkm)

255 159 I love my dead gay son.
Posted by: GodMullah at March 16, 2026 02:47 PM (Cqx++)

----------------

Greetings and salutations... you a Heather?

Posted by: 29Victor at March 16, 2026 03:01 PM (0MjtC)

256 159 I love my dead gay son.
Posted by: GodMullah at March 16, 2026 02:47 PM (Cqx++)

*snort

Posted by: Dash my lace wigs! at March 16, 2026 03:01 PM (zYpTz)

257 Well, you don't know what we can find
Why don't you come with me, little boy
On a magic carpet ride"

I'm your vehicle baby... anywhere you want to go.

Posted by: man at March 16, 2026 03:02 PM (XuXeR)

258 Gay and dead? Hey, he's working through his problems. The goat thing is an obstacle but he will deal with it.
Posted by: Case

You know how condoms were invented, right?

Posted by: weft cut-loop at March 16, 2026 03:02 PM (diia5)

259 226 Australian Energy Minister: We only have 18 days of gasoline; 16 days of diesel and 14 days of aviation fuel"
___

Australia is only 18 days behind Cuba? When did they become communist?

Posted by: Chuck Martel at March 16, 2026 03:02 PM (Dv3i1)

260 What do they call lying about being a Gay Muslim, "Fagiyya?"

Posted by: ShainS at March 16, 2026 03:02 PM (QfRkB)

261 Is gayatollah a word?
Posted by: Northernlurker , Maple Syrup MAGA at March 16, 2026 03:01 PM (wTZkm)
------------
It is now.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea at March 16, 2026 03:02 PM (Qa8VA)

262 If you are a muzzie but the pitcher, you are not really gay.

Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Totally Unserious at March 16, 2026 03:02 PM (xvV+O)

263 MATT DAMON!!!

Posted by: Matt Damon at March 16, 2026 03:03 PM (Zz0t1)

264
Nobody is saying he’s 100% healthy

==============

lol sounds like something out of The Death of Stalin.

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at March 16, 2026 03:04 PM (y2OcL)

265 @254:is now

Posted by: Smell the Glove at March 16, 2026 03:04 PM (YsPj+)

266 The Gayatollah of Love

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 16, 2026 03:04 PM (2GVsD)

267 Doubt ghey, but might be sleeping with hid goats
Posted by: Skip at March 16, 2026 02:57 PM (Ia/+0)
******
Low T, is also being rumored.

Posted by: redridinghood at March 16, 2026 03:04 PM (NpAcC)

268 Dead muz is good muz

Posted by: vmom deport deport deport at March 16, 2026 03:04 PM (PHCb/)

269 They say he's attracted to a man who is virulently antisemitic, and wears a bow tie.

They don't get much gayer than that.

Posted by: Wally at March 16, 2026 03:04 PM (65cLN)

270 159 I love my dead gay son.
Posted by: GodMullah at March 16, 2026 02:47 PM (Cqx++)

Did Mojtaba drink Perrier? Because that's how we'll know for sure.

Posted by: Dash my lace wigs! at March 16, 2026 03:04 PM (zYpTz)

271 So Iran chose a one-legged, disfigured and dead gay guy to run things? One legged, disfigured and dead - ok I get that. But gay? I didn't think they liked the gays.

Posted by: Weasel at March 16, 2026 03:04 PM (vt7xw)

272 259 226 Australian Energy Minister: We only have 18 days of gasoline; 16 days of diesel and 14 days of aviation fuel"
___

Australia is only 18 days behind Cuba? When did they become communist?
Posted by: Chuck Martel at March 16, 2026 03:02 PM (Dv3i1)

Not long after they gave up their guns... after the crap they pulled during Covid? not sure if Communist or Fascist.

Posted by: Romeo13 at March 16, 2026 03:04 PM (mP0Kj)

273 I had 2 tickets to a WNBA game on my front seat. Somebody broke the passenger side window and left 4 more.

Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Totally Unserious at March 16, 2026 03:04 PM (xvV+O)

274 Well Trump just "surgically" rearranged his junk, so he's no longer a dude.

Posted by: Ben from Dover at March 16, 2026 03:05 PM (qUkBO)

275 I’m thinking- maybe Trump should let Disney and Kathleen Kennedy take over Iran’s TV programming. I bet they would surrender in two days.

Posted by: Marcus T at March 16, 2026 03:05 PM (JmfGy)

276 Any "Heathers" fans out there?

"I love my gay dead Ayatollah!"

Posted by: anon at March 16, 2026 03:05 PM (6AoAg)

277 If those assholes in Hollywood had dragged out a cardboard ayatollah, they might actually have been funny. But then they haven't been worth watching in years.

Posted by: Diogenes at March 16, 2026 03:05 PM (2WIwB)

278 273 I had 2 tickets to a WNBA game on my front seat. Somebody broke the passenger side window and left 4 more.

Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Totally Unserious at March 16, 2026 03:04 PM (xvV+O)

And a green dildo?

Posted by: davidt at March 16, 2026 03:05 PM (Q+gd/)

279 The Gayatollah of Love"

Get your loving on the run?

Posted by: man at March 16, 2026 03:05 PM (XuXeR)

280 The left never lets a crisis go to waste so immediately there is an " energy shortage" due to the war and drastic measures need to be taken.

Posted by: steevy at March 16, 2026 03:06 PM (YwEeS)

281 Iran is just following the Biden model. A comatose front man while others run things behind the scenes.

Posted by: Lex at March 16, 2026 03:06 PM (tMLzq)

282 And soon.... in Australia....

Lord Humongous, the Gayatollah of Rock and Rollah?

Posted by: Romeo13 at March 16, 2026 03:06 PM (mP0Kj)

283 @159 dammit, beat me to it...

Posted by: anon at March 16, 2026 03:06 PM (6AoAg)

284 281 Iran is just following the Biden model. A comatose front man while others run things behind the scenes.

Posted by: Lex at March 16, 2026 03:06 PM (tMLzq)

=======

It's the Mandarin class.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at March 16, 2026 03:07 PM (p7EWr)

285 The left never lets a crisis go to waste so immediately there is an " energy shortage" due to the war and drastic measures need to be taken"

So, no Foster's exports?

Posted by: man at March 16, 2026 03:07 PM (XuXeR)

286 The Gayatollah of Love

Did you ever notice how similar Kaaba and Gaybar are?

Posted by: Archimedes at March 16, 2026 03:08 PM (Riz8t)

287 Iran usually forces gay men to have trans surgery.

Posted by: Avi at March 16, 2026 03:08 PM (ieodf)

288 A couple of X's claim that he was flown to Russia for surgery.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at March 16, 2026 03:08 PM (dlUX+)

289 On Sunday, a ship-spotter snapped a pic of two of 5th Fleet's three mine sweepers docked in a Malaysian port.

That obviously means that the third one was sunk by the Iranians.

Heh.

Posted by: one hour sober at March 16, 2026 03:08 PM (Y1sOo)

290 Was the Gayatollah in Das Boot? Because that movie was freaking gay.

Posted by: Ben from Dover at March 16, 2026 03:08 PM (qUkBO)

291 No, don't you see? They have sex with boys. They have relationships with women.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 16, 2026 02:56 PM (PYyV9)

I got news for you. Ya gay.

Posted by: Ice-T at March 16, 2026 03:08 PM (TbWk/)

292 From what I have heard Australians don't drink Fosters.

Posted by: steevy at March 16, 2026 03:08 PM (YwEeS)

293 Ahmadenijad said Moqtaba didn't exist. Maybe he's right, now. Schrodinger's Homo.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at March 16, 2026 03:09 PM (BI5O2)

294 So Iran chose a one-legged, disfigured and dead gay guy to run things? One legged, disfigured and dead - ok I get that. But gay? I didn't think they liked the gays.
Posted by: Weasel

He was a one-legged, dis-figured, dead gay ayatollah

Posted by: Giant Purple People Eater at March 16, 2026 03:09 PM (KAi1n)

295
His father knew his son's little secret.
Posted by: redridinghood

And thus, it was Pop Secret

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) Imprison! Imprison! Imprison! at March 16, 2026 03:09 PM (xG4kz)

296 292 From what I have heard Australians don't drink Fosters.

Posted by: steevy at March 16, 2026 03:08 PM (YwEeS)

=====

Fosters.

It's Australian for exports.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at March 16, 2026 03:09 PM (p7EWr)

297 242 I would totally smash Rachel Corrie.
Posted by: eleven

You can have my sloppy seconds. 🚜🚬

Posted by: IDF Caterpillar D9 at March 16, 2026 03:09 PM (JCZqz)

298 TJM I gave a column on Neo your link not to watch that garbage last night, but lots of masochists just had to watch it

Posted by: Skip at March 16, 2026 03:10 PM (Ia/+0)

299 Australia is only 18 days behind Cuba? When did they become communist?
Posted by: Chuck Martel at March 16, 2026 03:02 PM (Dv3i1)

Not long after they gave up their guns... after the crap they pulled during Covid? not sure if Communist or Fascist.

Posted by: Romeo13 at March 16, 2026 03:04 PM (mP0Kj)

lately? Islamist fascist is probably the closest.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at March 16, 2026 03:10 PM (snZF9)

300 271 So Iran chose a one-legged, disfigured and dead gay guy to run things? One legged, disfigured and dead - ok I get that. But gay? I didn't think they liked the gays.
Posted by: Weasel at March 16, 2026 03:04 PM (vt7xw)
Well old Mo was a pirate, dry land and all that but still a pirate. You know, aaarrrrgghh!

Posted by: Eromero at March 16, 2026 03:11 PM (LHPAg)

301 280 The left never lets a crisis go to waste so immediately there is an " energy shortage" due to the war and drastic measures need to be taken.
Posted by: steevy
---

Coal fired plants are the quickest to build.
Then Nuclear is the most efficient.
Start building them both.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at March 16, 2026 03:11 PM (dlUX+)

302 Enough about the real life devil's rejects.

I'm going to watch the movie version. Baby was hot. Later.

Posted by: Stateless at March 16, 2026 03:11 PM (Sco7b)

303 I'm seeing the chick who made Bibi's coffee is getting some social media clicks.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at March 16, 2026 03:11 PM (RIvkX)

304 >>>From what I have heard Australians don't drink Fosters.

Posted by: steevy

>Makes perfect sense. I don't drink any Bud products.

Posted by: Rev. Wishbone at March 16, 2026 03:11 PM (M9gjJ)

305 298 TJM I gave a column on Neo your link not to watch that garbage last night, but lots of masochists just had to watch it

Posted by: Skip at March 16, 2026 03:10 PM (Ia/+0)

=====

Well, thank you.

I'm still waiting to see what the ratings were.

I would assume they'd be higher than last year since Sinners seemed to have a chance at winning the big prize.

But, even that would be pathetic.

Getting 20 million out of 330 million is...sad.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at March 16, 2026 03:11 PM (p7EWr)

306 And NO bird hands from Bibi!

Posted by: GWB at March 16, 2026 03:12 PM (RGxCT)

307 Remember when gas prices spiked under Biden and the more-or-less official response was, "it's really your fault you can't afford gas because you're too stupid to use the Gas Buddy app."

And all the news shows fell in line and basically repeated, "If you stupids would just drive 30 miles, you could save 5 cents a gallon so it's really your fault."

Posted by: People's Hippo Voice at March 16, 2026 03:12 PM (HXT0k)

308 From what I have heard Australians don't drink Fosters.
Posted by: steevy
__________

According to the interwebs, the most popular beer in Australia is something called Great Northern Sugar Crisp Lager. Sounds disgusting.

Posted by: Biff Pocoroba at March 16, 2026 03:12 PM (XvL8K)

309 Trump should offer Australia a deal, they become a territory and we will sell them gas at a 25% discount.

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 16, 2026 03:13 PM (2GVsD)

310 I find it hard to believe that Australia only has less than three weeks of fuel capacity in the country.

Without looking it up, I guess they don't extract or refine any of their own petroleum.

I mean, that's just stupid.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at March 16, 2026 03:13 PM (XV/Pl)

311 Fosters.

It's Australian for exports."

It was the 80s, man. Men at Work on MTV...

Posted by: man at March 16, 2026 03:13 PM (XuXeR)

312
Iran is just following the Biden model. A comatose front man while others run things behind the scenes.

Posted by: Lex

===============

Being There 2: Toonces Goes to Iran

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at March 16, 2026 03:13 PM (y2OcL)

313 From what I have heard Australians don't drink Fosters.

Posted by: steevy at March 16, 2026 03:08 PM (YwEeS)

=====

Fosters.

It's Australian for exports.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at March 16, 2026 03:09 PM (p7EWr)

I used to meet up with a bunch of Australians every year at this one music festival. He saw some people drinking fosters, because it was really cheap for the size. One just shook his head. I said no good? He said its pap (whatever that meant), we sell it to the brits. lol

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at March 16, 2026 03:13 PM (snZF9)

314 I wouldn't be within 200 yards of it while it's charging.

BYD’s latest EVs can get close to full charge in just 12 minutes

The vehicle has a range of up to 800 km and will be launched in Europe next month and in the UK in the summer. Pricing is yet to be revealed.

The Chinese carmaker has aggressively expanded in the UK and Europe with affordable EVs and plug-in hybrids as sales in the home market have come under pressure from a government crackdown on pricing competition.

BYD sales in China plunged 41 percent in February compared with the same month in 2025, marking its biggest fall in five years.

https://is.gd/666msS

Posted by: Archimedes at March 16, 2026 03:13 PM (Riz8t)

315 Let's let the various midtier Iranian leaders start asking, "Why shouldn't I be the boss?"
Posted by: 18-1 at March 16, 2026 02:25 PM (sKqQm)

Better still, why should I remain loyal to a dead gay ayatollah?

Posted by: The Whine Guy at March 16, 2026 03:13 PM (HRH9e)

316 307 Remember when gas prices spiked under Biden and the more-or-less official response was, "it's really your fault you can't afford gas because you're too stupid to use the Gas Buddy app."

And all the news shows fell in line and basically repeated, "If you stupids would just drive 30 miles, you could save 5 cents a gallon so it's really your fault."

Posted by: People's Hippo Voice at March 16, 2026 03:12 PM (HXT0k)

======

This gas spike will not last.

In October, people are gonna be like, "What gas spike?"

A good number of shale oil producers will have new Bugatis, though.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at March 16, 2026 03:13 PM (p7EWr)

317 Overton-
Iranian exile
@MahyarTousi
delivers a SAVAGE takedown of Iran’s foreign minister claiming to be the “voice of the Iranians.”

TOUSI: “It’s like Tim Walz saying he’s the voice of Minnesota.”

“It’s not true.”

“Of course, it’s not just they’re not the voice of the Iranian people, he’s also not the voice of the Iranian regime.”

“Because…there is technically a difference between the government side, which is their foreign minister and the president—who’s a puppet—and the actual regime.”

“These guys are under the control of the regime, but they don’t have any power, they don’t even represent people, they were just there to nod and say yes to Khamenei.”

“Now he’s gone and his son is apparently a cardboard leader at this point and their job is just to go on TV and talk nonsense.”

“It’s just completely pointless and it’s hilarious to watch.”

https://tinyurl.com/4y7xhzf8

Posted by: redridinghood at March 16, 2026 03:13 PM (NpAcC)

318 According to the interwebs, the most popular beer in Australia is something called Great Northern Sugar Crisp Lager. Sounds disgusting.
Posted by: Biff Pocoroba at March 16, 2026 03:12 PM

Sounds more like a hard cider than a lager, but what do I know from Aussie beer?

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at March 16, 2026 03:14 PM (bFu5X)

319 Trump should offer Australia a deal, they become a territory and we will sell them gas at a 25% discount."

Also - change it back to Ayers Rock.

Posted by: man at March 16, 2026 03:14 PM (XuXeR)

320 Fosters used to be good in the late 70 & 80s. Then they started brewing it in Canuckastan and the north east and it was not good. Not terrible like Buttwiper but not worth the premium.

Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Totally Unserious at March 16, 2026 03:14 PM (xvV+O)

321 A Muslim faggot? Have the UK offered him citizenship and/or a seat in Parliament yet?

Posted by: ballistic at March 16, 2026 03:14 PM (5aZAZ)

322 This whole discussion is very weird to me because Trump assured me last week that the war had already been won.

Did it get un-won?

Posted by: Masturbatin' Pete at March 16, 2026 03:15 PM (CKIwv)

323 From what I have heard Australians don't drink Fosters.

Posted by: steevy at March 16, 2026 03:08 PM (YwEeS)

=====

Fosters.

It's Australian for exports.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at March 16, 2026 03:09 PM (p7EWr)
_______

I'm not sure Fosters was even sold in Australia until recently. IIRC, it was actually an American company that produced Fosters, in Australia, and then all of it was exported. Pure marketing exercise.

Real Australians drink fermented crocodile piss and wombat poon.

Posted by: Elric The Blade at March 16, 2026 03:15 PM (iFTx/)

324
When the new Iatola orders goat, it's not to eat.

Posted by: Frank Barone at March 16, 2026 03:16 PM (IifOV)

325 can get close to full charge in just 12 minutes

The vehicle has a range of up to 800 km"

"Can", "close", "up to"...

And I'm close to 6'7"

Posted by: man at March 16, 2026 03:16 PM (XuXeR)

326 Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at March 16, 2026 03:13 PM (snZF9)

"Pap" is baby food, so I guess he meant it was really weak.

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette at March 16, 2026 03:16 PM (lFFaq)

327 323 Real Australians drink fermented crocodile piss and wombat poon.

Posted by: Elric The Blade at March 16, 2026 03:15 PM (iFTx/)

=======

It is known.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at March 16, 2026 03:16 PM (p7EWr)

328 Australian Energy Minister: We only have 18 days of gasoline; 16 days of diesel and 14 days of aviation fuel"

Sounds like you f*ed up, dude. That's decidedly poor planning on your part.

Posted by: GWB at March 16, 2026 03:17 PM (RGxCT)

329 Cardboard homos don't get hurt falling off of buildings.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at March 16, 2026 03:17 PM (n5tGW)

330 during Covid? not sure if Communist or Fascist.

Posted by: Romeo13 at March 16, 2026 03:04 PM (mP0Kj)

lately? Islamist fascist is probably the closest.
------------

After you are no longer a free people a master by any name is still, master.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at March 16, 2026 03:17 PM (dlUX+)

331 "This whole discussion is very weird to me because Trump assured me last week that the war had already been won.

Did it get un-won?
Posted by: Masturbatin' Pete"

Seems pretty won.

You going long on Basij?

Posted by: eleven at March 16, 2026 03:17 PM (aTgV0)

332 I wonder what was shipped in the cardboard box they spent 20 minutes making into the New Ayatollah of Rock and Rolla. I'm postulating Adult Diapers, just because that would be >< chef's kiss perfect.

Posted by: Sharkman at March 16, 2026 03:17 PM (BRvvM)

333 I imagine there's a lot of off-shore oil that's not getting exploited around Australia. Could be wrong, but I doubt that.

Won't you people think of the Great Barrier Reef???

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor

There is a massive amount of oil and gas, and what they extract, they tend to sell to countries that want reliable energy.

Posted by: Thomas Paine at March 16, 2026 03:17 PM (0U5gm)

334 Polliwog, do you have Cybersmythe 's email address?

Posted by: Ben Had at March 16, 2026 03:17 PM (+nEug)

335
I used to meet up with a bunch of Australians every year at this one music festival. He saw some people drinking fosters, because it was really cheap for the size. One just shook his head. I said no good? He said its pap (whatever that meant), we sell it to the brits. lol
Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at March 16, 2026 03:13 PM (snZF9)

Sat across from some Aussies on a plane once. They were chatting up the people around them and someone asked about Fosters.

"THAT shit is PISS, man."

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at March 16, 2026 03:17 PM (Zz0t1)

336 Holy crap, just looked it up, Australia imports over 90% of it's oil.

They have next to no refining capacity and have shuttered over 75pct of their refining capacity in the last 15 years.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at March 16, 2026 03:17 PM (XV/Pl)

337 If you said, "gay cardboard man leader" you'd have to specify that it's Iran and not Obama.

Posted by: People's Hippo Voice at March 16, 2026 03:18 PM (HXT0k)

338 Just when I thought this decade couldn't get any crazier.

Posted by: Brother Tim (102mm/W59), Keeper of the Tim Continuum at March 16, 2026 03:18 PM (OUMaO)

339 Who would have thought Iran would go with a DEI hire for their next leader?

Posted by: Troy McClure at March 16, 2026 03:18 PM (sP0VB)

340 I wonder what was shipped in the cardboard box they spent 20 minutes making into the New Ayatollah of Rock and Rolla. I'm postulating Adult Diapers, just because that would be >
Posted by: Sharkman at March 16, 2026 03:17 PM

Cases of Kaboom.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at March 16, 2026 03:18 PM (bFu5X)

341 Did the war just end or something? The markets just jumped straight up and sold out a bunch of my positions.

Posted by: toby928(c) at March 16, 2026 03:18 PM (4NO2D)

342 335 Sat across from some Aussies on a plane once. They were chatting up the people around them and someone asked about Fosters.

"THAT shit is PISS, man."

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at March 16, 2026 03:17 PM (Zz0t1)

=======

It's just genuinely not good beer.

But people subsist on Coors Lite, so I dunno.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at March 16, 2026 03:18 PM (p7EWr)

343 Remember when gas prices spiked under Biden and the more-or-less official response was, "it's really your fault you can't afford gas because you're too stupid to use the Gas Buddy app."

And all the news shows fell in line and basically repeated, "If you stupids would just drive 30 miles, you could save 5 cents a gallon so it's really your fault."

Posted by: People's Hippo Voice at March 16, 2026 03:12 PM (HXT0k)

======

This gas spike will not last.

In October, people are gonna be like, "What gas spike?"

A good number of shale oil producers will have new Bugatis, though.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at March 16, 2026 03:13 PM (p7EWr)
________

October? My money is on June. Maybe even May. The spike is mostly fake and gay speculation for very short-term gain.

Posted by: Elric The Blade at March 16, 2026 03:18 PM (iFTx/)

344 This whole discussion is very weird to me because Trump assured me last week that the war had already been won."

Read much?

Posted by: man at March 16, 2026 03:18 PM (XuXeR)

345 Real Ozzies drink straight snake venom and croc piss.

Or they're poofters.

Posted by: eleven at March 16, 2026 03:19 PM (aTgV0)

346 For the amount of bitching people do around here about anyone daring to watch an NFL football game, there sure are a lot of you that watched the fucking Oscars...

Posted by: ballistic at March 16, 2026 03:19 PM (5aZAZ)

347 336 Holy crap, just looked it up, Australia imports over 90% of it's oil.

They have next to no refining capacity and have shuttered over 75pct of their refining capacity in the last 15 years.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at March 16, 2026 03:17 PM (XV/Pl)

======

So, they're getting faster to net zero.

Why are they complaining?

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at March 16, 2026 03:19 PM (p7EWr)

348 According to the interwebs, the most popular beer in Australia is something called Great Northern Sugar Crisp Lager. Sounds disgusting.

Does it have a Super Sugar Bear mascot?

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 16, 2026 03:19 PM (PYyV9)

349 Australia, "It ain't easy being Green."

Posted by: Anna Puma at March 16, 2026 03:19 PM (2GVsD)

350 This whole discussion is very weird to me because Trump assured me last week that the war had already been won.

Did it get un-won?

I mean, if you define "winning" as "your leader is dead and gay" then I guess we won a lot during the Obama administration.

Posted by: Ian S. at March 16, 2026 03:19 PM (2ocoG)

351 I'll give the new Ayatollah this; he's gay, in a coma, and probably has lost a leg or two. But he could be as effective a national leader as was Joe Biden. Even in Iran which doesn't like gay folks. But the kicker is that his Daddy thought he was intellectually challenged; his wife thought he couldn't get it up (hence the trips to London for treatment). Yup, he's as good as and maybe better than Joe. Well the impotency may have been caused because he was afraid of beavers.

Posted by: comanche voter at March 16, 2026 03:19 PM (cB7nX)

352 Those poor Iranian women, they and their relatives will be tortured.
Posted by: Anna Puma at March 16, 2026 02:48 PM (2GVsD)

But we have dumbshit Americans who claim America is just "Christian Iran". And funnily enough they get paid to do it and nothing else happens.

Posted by: ... at March 16, 2026 03:20 PM (KMzr2)

353 Drink Great Northern Sugar Crisp
Sugar Crisp
Sugar Crisp
Drink Great Northern Sugar Crisp
Keeps you going strong!

Posted by: Post Australia at March 16, 2026 03:20 PM (MDua2)

354 343 October? My money is on June. Maybe even May. The spike is mostly fake and gay speculation for very short-term gain.

Posted by: Elric The Blade at March 16, 2026 03:18 PM (iFTx/)

=====

Well, I used October because voting.

But yes, I suspect it won't last til summer.

It'll just be another base firmware for leftists about Trump raising prices on everything, even if it's no longer operable.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at March 16, 2026 03:20 PM (p7EWr)

355 For the amount of bitching people do around here about anyone daring to watch an NFL football game, there sure are a lot of you that watched the fucking Oscars...

Posted by: ballistic

You seem...put out. Why are you so invested in this?

Posted by: Archimedes at March 16, 2026 03:20 PM (Riz8t)

356 350 This whole discussion is very weird to me because Trump assured me last week that the war had already been won.

Did it get un-won?

I mean, if you define "winning" as "your leader is dead and gay" then I guess we won a lot during the Obama administration.
Posted by: Ian S. at March 16, 2026 03:19 PM

Golf clap

Posted by: CaliGirl at March 16, 2026 03:20 PM (Vqf0f)

357 Willow'd...

>> Tucker could benefit from an exorcism.
I am not joking.

> I suspect that he's an addict and its eating his brain. But I would not rule out demonic influence.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 16, 2026 01:52 PM (PYyV9)

Substance abuse is known to open people up to demonic oppression. When I see addict that gives a particularly hinky vibe, I assume there's a demonic presence trying to get its hooks in. Even if he (or she) isn't intoxicated at the moment, there could be lingering impairment from brain damage, creating vulnerability to influence and suggestion. And, that is highly likely to be compounded by a state of unrepentance for things done while drunk or high (or in order to get there), since genuine repentance would mean avoiding the conditions that led to it.

As I understand it, that's the entwined triple-whammy that makes addicts so vulnerable to demons: physical impairment of the brain, in a state of unrepentance, that they can't leave as long as they want their next fix more than getting right with Man and God... which an impaired dummy has trouble caring about.

Posted by: SciVo at March 16, 2026 03:20 PM (Sy6m/)

358 Speaking of dead and gay.... Was there ever an investigation into Obama's dead chef? Really strange story....

Posted by: LinusVanPelt at March 16, 2026 03:20 PM (xT8gx)

359
A Muslim faggot? Have the UK offered him citizenship and/or a seat in Parliament yet?
Posted by: ballistic

Gonna do a Zoom conference with Mamdani's HR department. There's bound to be three of four places where he'd fit well in the NYC administration.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) Imprison! Imprison! Imprison! at March 16, 2026 03:21 PM (xG4kz)

360 Who would have thought Iran would go with a DEI hire for their next leader?

Posted by: Troy McClure

It sure puts the whole "Trannies for Islam" business in a new light...

Posted by: Brother Tim (102mm/W59), Keeper of the Tim Continuum at March 16, 2026 03:21 PM (OUMaO)

361 Sat across from some Aussies on a plane once. They were chatting up the people around them and someone asked about Fosters.

"THAT shit is PISS, man."

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at March 16, 2026 03:17 PM (Zz0t1)

=======

It's just genuinely not good beer.

But people subsist on Coors Lite, so I dunno.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at March 16, 2026 03:18 PM (p7EWr)
__________

I like Coors light. My fav are strong Belgium ales, but they are heavy and highly alcoholic. When I want something lighter and less filling, Coors Light is one of my go-tos. Not much flavor, true, but what is there is pleasant and refreshing.

Posted by: Elric The Blade at March 16, 2026 03:21 PM (iFTx/)

362 Recent reports say that he's in a coma following an airstrike and has no awareness that there's a war on or that he's confined to a hospital.

---------------

Brings back memories of the F. Joe Biden years ...

Posted by: ShainS at March 16, 2026 03:21 PM (QfRkB)

363 Given the faggot-ass leaders the Aussies have running their country, I'll not take their opinion on what beer is good or not.

Posted by: People's Hippo Voice at March 16, 2026 03:22 PM (HXT0k)

364 Iran is barely firing anything anymore. 10 drones yesterday and no missiles.

Ships are going through the strait (have been for days, actually).

Oil is being redirected out of the strait, and Iran folded on trying to even pretend to control the strait the second Trump floated the idea of taking Kharg Island.

Oh, and 50 more senior IRGC commanders were blown up this morning.

Really, Iran is cleaning our clocks. We're fighting for our lives here.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at March 16, 2026 03:22 PM (p7EWr)

365 "Pap" is baby food, so I guess he meant it was really weak.

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette at March 16, 2026 03:16 PM (lFFaq)

I guess. He's not the only one I heard that from. I had another friend from there who told be 20 years before that it was crap and nobody drinks it there.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at March 16, 2026 03:22 PM (snZF9)

366 Polliwog, do you have Cybersmythe 's email address?
Posted by: Ben Had at March 16, 2026 03:17 PM (+nEug)

Inspector has it. What's the best way to get it to you? Do you still use the M....W.... email address? He's sending it there as a reply to an email from 2023.

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette at March 16, 2026 03:22 PM (lFFaq)

367 The old joke I remember was Fosters - its Australian for piss.

Posted by: Ryan Frank at March 16, 2026 03:22 PM (fgmuN)

368 Iran is just following the Biden model. A comatose front man while others run things behind the scenes.

Posted by: Lex

===============

Being There 2: Toonces Goes to Iran
Posted by: Blonde Morticia at March 16, 2026 03:13 PM (y2OcL)
*****
Why wouldn't they, when it worked for 4 yrs.
And half the people thought Biden was fine and "the best Biden ever"!

We were told those videos of Biden were deep fakes and if it hadn't been for Elon buying X Biden would still be propped up as being strong and fit.

Posted by: redridinghood at March 16, 2026 03:22 PM (NpAcC)

369 Speaking of dead and gay.... Was there ever an investigation into Obama's dead chef? Really strange story....

Posted by: LinusVanPelt at March 16, 2026 03:20 PM (xT8gx)

I would guess Obama investigated his penis very closely to see how much like Mooch's it was

Posted by: ... at March 16, 2026 03:22 PM (KMzr2)

370 Recent reports say that he's in a coma following an airstrike and has no awareness that there's a war on or that he's confined to a hospital.

---------------

Brings back memories of the F. Joe Biden years ...

Except for all the free range feces, of course.

Posted by: Archimedes at March 16, 2026 03:22 PM (Riz8t)

371 For the amount of bitching people do around here about anyone daring to watch an NFL football game, there sure are a lot of you that watched the fucking Oscars...

Posted by: ballistic

Don't watch either one. Anything I've heard about the Oscars was either posted in the Morning Report or various websites I frequent.

Try again.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at March 16, 2026 03:22 PM (Zz0t1)

372 >>For the amount of bitching people do around here about anyone daring to watch an NFL football game, there sure are a lot of you that watched the fucking Oscars...

And go to movie theaters

Posted by: one hour sober at March 16, 2026 03:22 PM (Y1sOo)

373 The Islamic Republic is facing a leadership vacuum at its most critical moment.

--------------

There's a cardboard cutting and folding app for that.

Posted by: ShainS at March 16, 2026 03:23 PM (HI/Zw)

374 Brings back memories of the F. Joe Biden years ...

Posted by: ShainS at March 16, 2026 03:21 PM (QfRkB)

Never gets old. Or new.

Posted by: ... at March 16, 2026 03:23 PM (KMzr2)

375 Australia would be smart to help in Hormuz

Posted by: vmom deport deport deport at March 16, 2026 03:23 PM (ZpHph)

376 361 I like Coors light. My fav are strong Belgium ales, but they are heavy and highly alcoholic. When I want something lighter and less filling, Coors Light is one of my go-tos. Not much flavor, true, but what is there is pleasant and refreshing.

Posted by: Elric The Blade at March 16, 2026 03:21 PM (iFTx/)

=======

I find light beers just...unsatisfying.

An amber or a lager or a real pilsner, please, if I want something lighter.

Not everything has to be some kind of porter that is as black as the hole in my heart, but I like it when I drink something that tastes like something.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at March 16, 2026 03:23 PM (p7EWr)

377 You seem...put out. Why are you so invested in this?
Posted by: Archimedes at March 16, 2026 03:20 PM (Riz8t)
----
I'm invested?

By making one off-hand observation? Ok buddy. You want to watch a bunch of lefties blow each other on network TV for three hours on a Sunday night, that's your business. No need to get upset when someone notices.

Posted by: ballistic at March 16, 2026 03:23 PM (5aZAZ)

378 But people subsist on Coors Lite, so I dunno"

Iron City Light FTW!

Posted by: man at March 16, 2026 03:24 PM (XuXeR)

379 The Islamic Republic is facing a leadership vacuum at its most critical moment.
---------

Is that how they're gonna dispose of his body?

Posted by: ... at March 16, 2026 03:24 PM (KMzr2)

380 "Oh, and 50 more senior IRGC commanders were blown up this morning."

A mere trifle.

Posted by: eleven at March 16, 2026 03:24 PM (aTgV0)

381
I like Coors light. My fav are strong Belgium ales, but they are heavy and highly alcoholic. When I want something lighter and less filling, Coors Light is one of my go-tos. Not much flavor, true, but what is there is pleasant and refreshing.
Posted by: Elric The Blade at March 16, 2026 03:21 PM

I'm really surprised you would drink Coors light and you'd fit in with the cowboys I know.
I pictured our intrepid nightlife correspondent would drink something like a Gibson.

Posted by: CaliGirl at March 16, 2026 03:24 PM (Vqf0f)

382 346 For the amount of bitching people do around here about anyone daring to watch an NFL football game, there sure are a lot of you that watched the fucking Oscars...

Posted by: ballistic at March 16, 2026 03:19 PM (5aZAZ)

======

I reloaded my RSS feed about five times while watching reruns of Taskmaster.

I didn't even know there were jokes or politics until afterwards.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at March 16, 2026 03:24 PM (p7EWr)

383 Generally 2 to 6 weeks from oil pump to gasoline station, so the raising of prices immediately at the start of the war was just profiting on the news. Once the war is concluded don't expect an the same immediacy of dropping prices, because that's business.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at March 16, 2026 03:24 PM (n5tGW)

384 Polliwog, he would like to talk to you. My computer is iffy at the moment so I'm glad to catch you here.

Posted by: Ben Had at March 16, 2026 03:24 PM (+nEug)

385 The Islamic Republic is facing a leadership vacuum"

Dyson or Hoover?

Posted by: man at March 16, 2026 03:25 PM (XuXeR)

386 Recent reports say that he's in a coma following an airstrike and has no awareness that there's a war on or that he's confined to a hospital.

That's no problem, they just need to send Valerie Jarrett and Susan Rice over to make his decisions.

Posted by: Ian S. at March 16, 2026 03:25 PM (2ocoG)

387 Not everything has to be some kind of porter that is as black as the hole in my heart, but I like it when I drink something that tastes like something.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at March 16, 2026 03:23 PM (p7EWr)
-----
Eh. In Texas it gets hot, and you mow the lawn, and you just want something that's like sex in a canoe...fucking close to water.

Posted by: ballistic at March 16, 2026 03:25 PM (5aZAZ)

388 Iron City Light FTW!
Posted by: man at March 16, 2026 03:24 PM (XuXeR)

Friend of mine had some of that at a Penguins game a while back. Said it actually wasn't half bad.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at March 16, 2026 03:25 PM (Zz0t1)

389 I find it hard to believe that Australia only has less than three weeks of fuel capacity in the country.

Without looking it up, I guess they don't extract or refine any of their own petroleum.

I mean, that's just stupid.
Posted by: Thomas Bender

The ENTIRE population of that continent is 27.49 million people.

Posted by: rickb223 at March 16, 2026 03:25 PM (NcUvK)

390 For the amount of bitching people do around here about anyone daring to watch an NFL football game, there sure are a lot of you that watched the fucking Oscars...

I didn't even know they were on. But I did see a bunch of clips about it show up in my Twixxer feed.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 16, 2026 03:25 PM (PYyV9)

391 387 Eh. In Texas it gets hot, and you mow the lawn, and you just want something that's like sex in a canoe...fucking close to water.

Posted by: ballistic at March 16, 2026 03:25 PM (5aZAZ)

=======

I get that.

But I'd rather drink water in that instance, with something like an amber in my other hand.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at March 16, 2026 03:25 PM (p7EWr)

392 "The Islamic Republic is facing a leadership vacuum at its most critical moment.
---------

Is that how they're gonna dispose of his body?
Posted by: ... "

Seriously...Iran NEEDS a leadership vacuum or that place is going to stink.

Posted by: eleven at March 16, 2026 03:25 PM (aTgV0)

393 371 For the amount of bitching people do around here about anyone daring to watch an NFL football game, there sure are a lot of you that watched the fucking Oscars...

Posted by: ballistic

Don't watch either one. Anything I've heard about the Oscars was either posted in the Morning Report or various websites I frequent.

Try again.
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at March

I went through a number of the dresses and didn’t watch a second of it. Couldn’t tell you who won, and even if I could, I would be willing to bet I have never heard of the movie, much less watched it.

Posted by: Piper at March 16, 2026 03:26 PM (Wmg4n)

394 Sat across from some Aussies on a plane once. They were chatting up the people around them and someone asked about Fosters.

"THAT shit is PISS, man."

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at March 16, 2026 03:17 PM (Zz0t1)

Yup, thats basically what I heard from every Australian I ever met. I didn't think it was "that" bad, but yeah it don't have a punch. I like Yuengling, thats my go to. Well, on the rare occasions I drink beer. At least it tastes like something.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at March 16, 2026 03:26 PM (snZF9)

395 If I want to drink for hours, I'll drink Coors.

If I want a one-and-done, I'll drink some goofy-ass craft shit.

Only homos drink one beer.

Posted by: People's Hippo Voice at March 16, 2026 03:26 PM (HXT0k)

396 If Moqtaba is gay, shouldn't the cutout be wearing cardboard Crocs?

Posted by: Duncanthrax at March 16, 2026 03:26 PM (0sNs1)

397
Really, Iran is cleaning our clocks. We're fighting for our lives here.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films

The wheels are coming off the bus! The walls are closing in!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) Imprison! Imprison! Imprison! at March 16, 2026 03:26 PM (xG4kz)

398 Full charge in 12 minutes? I think that would melt some normal jumper cables. Maybe you backup to a bus bar.

Posted by: fd at March 16, 2026 03:26 PM (vFG9F)

399 Of all places...

@LeadingReport 11m
BREAKING: Reports of blast near US embassy in Baghdad.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at March 16, 2026 03:27 PM (diia5)

400
Gay Imamas in Iran hang out in wells, not closets.

Posted by: Auspex at March 16, 2026 03:27 PM (Y8DZL)

401 Ships are going through the strait"

Hush. You're supposed to be panicking.

/ the newz

Posted by: man at March 16, 2026 03:27 PM (XuXeR)

402 Generally 2 to 6 weeks from oil pump to gasoline station, so the raising of prices immediately at the start of the war was just profiting on the news.

From what I understand, and I don't understand much, the prices of oil are based on speculation of what barrels of oil will cost in the future, and gas prices go up and down based on the barrel of oil futures. I kind of understand why they would raise prices of oil at the pump based on what its going to cost them next month, but only kind of.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 16, 2026 03:27 PM (PYyV9)

403 Only homos drink one beer.
Posted by: People's Hippo Voice at March 16, 2026 03:26 PM

Ahem.

Posted by: Bud Light at March 16, 2026 03:27 PM (0sNs1)

404 401 Ships are going through the strait"

Hush. You're supposed to be panicking.

/ the newz

Posted by: man at March 16, 2026 03:27 PM (XuXeR)

=======

"Only China and India can get through!"
-Iran, letting 80% of the traffic through

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at March 16, 2026 03:27 PM (p7EWr)

405 I like Coors light. My fav are strong Belgium ales, but they are heavy and highly alcoholic. When I want something lighter and less filling, Coors Light is one of my go-tos. Not much flavor, true, but what is there is pleasant and refreshing.
Posted by: Elric The Blade at March 16, 2026 03:21 PM

I'm really surprised you would drink Coors light and you'd fit in with the cowboys I know.
I pictured our intrepid nightlife correspondent would drink something like a Gibson.
Posted by: CaliGirl at March 16, 2026 03:24 PM (Vqf0f)
_________

Oh, I don't drink beer at the bars and clubs. My go-to drinks there are Manhattans, Martinis (gin), Negroni, and other manly studly viril drinks that attract the ladies. If I see an interesting whisky on the menu that's not insanely priced (many are), then I might get that.

Posted by: Elric The Blade at March 16, 2026 03:28 PM (iFTx/)

406 "Only homos drink one beer.
Posted by: People's Hippo Voice"

lol

Posted by: eleven at March 16, 2026 03:28 PM (aTgV0)

407
Bibi in the covfefe shop looks like he's having a tough time avoiding outright laughter. Like he just got done watching the Tim Conway elephant story video on yootoob.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at March 16, 2026 03:28 PM (y9nCu)

408 Full charge in 12 minutes? "

That's not what it said....

Posted by: man at March 16, 2026 03:28 PM (XuXeR)

409 Nood - something about woke Oscars

Posted by: the lower depths at March 16, 2026 03:28 PM (GSy5R)

410
Yup, thats basically what I heard from every Australian I ever met. I didn't think it was "that" bad, but yeah it don't have a punch. I like Yuengling, thats my go to. Well, on the rare occasions I drink beer. At least it tastes like something.
Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at March 16, 2026 03:26 PM (snZF9)

I'll get a 22 oz Bloke if I'm at Outback for some reason. Other than that, I never drink it.

I've been on the Yuengling Light wagon lately. Not Flight as that's nasty. Light is pretty drinkable.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at March 16, 2026 03:28 PM (Zz0t1)

411

Posted by: Mitch McConnell at March 16, 2026 03:28 PM (XE5AP)

412 I drink coors light in the summer when I'm yard working too. I'm not gonna drink white wine like that Mojtaba homo!

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at March 16, 2026 03:28 PM (n5tGW)

413 Proper summer yard work recovery:

Chug a porter, chase with 2-4 Coors Light.

Posted by: People's Hippo Voice at March 16, 2026 03:29 PM (HXT0k)

414 The walls are falling off!

Posted by: eleven at March 16, 2026 03:29 PM (aTgV0)

415 The wheels are coming off the bus! The walls are closing in!
Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) Imprison! Imprison! Imprison! at March 16, 2026 03:26 PM

What am I, chopped liver?

Posted by: The Chair Against the Wall at March 16, 2026 03:29 PM (0sNs1)

416 Posted by: Ben Had at March 16, 2026 03:24 PM (+nEug)

I have his wife's phone number. I can text her if it isn't supposed to be a secret.

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette at March 16, 2026 03:31 PM (lFFaq)

417
I like Coors light.

Love-in-a-canoe beer.

Also known as fucking close to water.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at March 16, 2026 03:32 PM (y9nCu)

418 Polliwog, I'm sure that would be fine.

Posted by: Ben Had at March 16, 2026 03:32 PM (+nEug)

419 Tobias: "When a man... needs to prove to a woman that he’s actual... When a man loves a woman, and he actually wants to make love, uh, to her, something very, very special happens, and uh, with deep, deep concentration and-and great focus, he’s often able to achieve an erec..."

Posted by: Random at March 16, 2026 03:34 PM (bsHHO)

420 Posted by: Ben Had at March 16, 2026 03:32 PM (+nEug)

Will do that then.

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette at March 16, 2026 03:34 PM (lFFaq)

421 What's Trump going to do if other nations do not assist in the Persian Gulf/Hormuz as he has asked?

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at March 16, 2026 03:36 PM (dlUX+)

422 There need to be memes showing his cardboard effigy with turbanhead, dangling by a noose from a Manitowoc.

Hey, how the fuck can the poor Persians be liberated from the murderous IRGC and basij? Those fuckers have enough weaponry and ammo to kill every single citizen times twenty, at least.

The haitian slave revolt lasted over a dozen years and it is estimated that between 100,000 and 350,000 blacks of african descent lost their lives from violence, disease, and starvation. I cannot imagine something like that happening in a place where we have free reign to fly warplanes over every square inch, but what do I know.

I heard it said that about a million of the persians are regime-adjacent. That's a lot to kill. The toll in the congo during the Second Congo War 1998-2003 was 4.5 million, again, many of the deaths from trauma other than kinetic conflict.

Posted by: M. Gaga at March 16, 2026 03:38 PM (KiBMU)

423 402 Generally 2 to 6 weeks from oil pump to gasoline station, so the raising of prices immediately at the start of the war was just profiting on the news.

From what I understand, and I don't understand much, the prices of oil are based on speculation of what barrels of oil will cost in the future, and gas prices go up and down based on the barrel of oil futures. I kind of understand why they would raise prices of oil at the pump based on what its going to cost them next month, but only kind of.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at March 16, 2026 03:27 PM (PYyV9)

They need to be able to pay for their next delivery of gas. It's a very cutthroat business, since the customer is very price-sensitive, so they don't have any cushion. They need to raise prices if the next delivery is going to cost more, but they can only get away with raising prices if everyone else does too; so they all track the price of oil futures, and most survive to pump another day.

Posted by: SciVo at March 16, 2026 03:45 PM (Sy6m/)

424 Trump ought to pull out of any and all Ukraine commitments as a result of France, Italy, UK, Spain, and others refusing to help police the strait. Tell them all to go fuck yourself, you're on your own with the russkies.

Posted by: M. Gaga at March 16, 2026 03:46 PM (KiBMU)

425 I imagine there's a lot of off-shore oil that's not getting exploited around Australia. Could be wrong, but I doubt that.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at March 16, 2026 02:57 PM (p7EWr)

There is to the North in Indonesia, but that is geologically very different. Australia is one of the oldest continents, might be too old for oil. Africa is also pretty old and isn't known for oil.

Posted by: Oldcat at March 16, 2026 04:15 PM (8avO+)

426 Yup, thats basically what I heard from every Australian I ever met. I didn't think it was "that" bad, but yeah it don't have a punch. I like Yuengling, thats my go to. Well, on the rare occasions I drink beer. At least it tastes like something.
Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at March 16, 2026 03:26 PM (snZF9)

It's more alcoholic than most mainline US beers, and the can is bigger. But its a pretty basic lager after that.

Posted by: Oldcat at March 16, 2026 04:18 PM (8avO+)

427 Iron City Light FTW!
Posted by: man at March 16, 2026 03:24 PM (XuXeR)

Friend of mine had some of that at a Penguins game a while back. Said it actually wasn't half bad.
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at March 16, 2026 03:25 PM (Zz0t1)

When the grad school got it was terrible. Should be renamed Beer City Iron. And at that time I was drinking the cheapest beer I could get. Generic Beer is often surprisingly good, especially in St Louis.

Posted by: Oldcat at March 16, 2026 04:21 PM (8avO+)

428 I used to meet up with a bunch of Australians every year at this one music festival. He saw some people drinking fosters, because it was really cheap for the size. One just shook his head. I said no good? He said its pap (whatever that meant), we sell it to the brits. lol
Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at March 16, 2026 03:13 PM (snZF9)

Pap in this connection means "baby food" or food for elderly that have no teeth. No bite.

Posted by: Oldcat at March 16, 2026 04:24 PM (8avO+)

429 One of my favorite things about the Cardboard Kohmani is the leetle flowers on his turban image. Snort!

Posted by: ChristyBlinkyTheGreat at March 16, 2026 04:26 PM (WONhk)

430 That man is a eunuch.
That man is a eunuch.
That man is dead.

Posted by: Stu Podaso at March 16, 2026 04:28 PM (jgIhW)

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