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That Thing That Never Happens Happened Again

larrymaloney
@larrymaloney

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Shakir Khan Sentenced Following Denial of Motion to Withdraw Plea

On March 2, 2026, the Honorable Judge Northup sentenced Shakir Khan, who pled no contest to criminal counts that include election fraud and money laundering, underscoring the San Joaquin County District Attorney's firm commitment to safeguarding election integrity and holding accountable those who attempt to undermine our democratic process.

Khan was sentenced to three years under AB 109, to be served in county jail, with one year suspended and served on mandatory supervision. In addition, the court imposed an eight-year state prison term that is stayed, contingent upon Khan's successful completion of mandatory supervision. If Khan violates the terms of his supervision, the stayed prison term may be imposed.

San Joaquin County District Attorney Ron Freitas said, "Today's sentence shows the seriousness with which we take efforts to tamper with the electoral process in San Joaquin County. Accountability includes honoring the plea and fulfilling the terms of supervision. If Mr. Khan fails to comply, the full consequences of his sentence will be enforced."

The San Joaquin County District Attorney's Office remains committed to enforcing the rule of law and ensuring that all defendants adhere to their court-ordered obligations.

Posted by: Disinformation Expert Ace at 01:20 PM




Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 CAN ANYONE BEAT THE BLADE?

Posted by: Judge Elric The Blade at March 04, 2026 01:20 PM (iFTx/)

2 Shakir Khan is just stealing the elections Americans won't. Really it is an act of love

Posted by: Jeb Bush at March 04, 2026 01:20 PM (sKqQm)

3 Should I know this person ?

Posted by: It's me donna at March 04, 2026 01:20 PM (I7RJN)

4 CAN ANYONE BEAT THE BLADE?

DOES IT REALLY MATTER?

Posted by: Additional Blond Agent, STEM Guy at March 04, 2026 01:20 PM (/HDaX)

5 KHAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNN!

Bend over, honey.

Posted by: The_Hoser at March 04, 2026 01:21 PM (H4qGm)

6 We may never know which way he voted.

Posted by: ... at March 04, 2026 01:21 PM (e5WJR)

7 He got his brother in Pakistan to register to vote and to vote for him in California.

or maybe he did it all for him....regardless, that suggests there is no control on California voter registration.

Posted by: Harun at March 04, 2026 01:21 PM (IuIym)

8 We should honour his heritage and cut his fucking thumbs off.

Posted by: The_Hoser at March 04, 2026 01:21 PM (H4qGm)

9 This is where most of the new fraud is coming from.

The number of people voting isn't substantially increased, but the number of ballots coming in are.

Posted by: 18-1 at March 04, 2026 01:22 PM (sKqQm)

10 He'll be stuck in Lodi again

Posted by: 2009Refugee at March 04, 2026 01:22 PM (EgkXQ)

11 @susancrabtree
·
Follow
🚨🚨 NEW: CALIFORNIA VOTER FRAUDSTER SENTENCED AFTER INVESTIGATION FOUND 71 VOTER NAMES REGISTERED TO HIS OWN ADDRESS.

======

"71 votes wouldn't have swung any election. Therefore no one would do this. Therefore, no elections have fraud in them."

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at March 04, 2026 01:22 PM (GBKbO)

12 He also did this for fake people IIRC and other people who did not live in his district.

This was only found out because this guy ALSO ran a gambling operation and was caught.

And used the same address for a ton of people.

Posted by: Harun at March 04, 2026 01:22 PM (IuIym)

13 We should honour his heritage and cut his fucking thumbs off.
Posted by: The_Hoser at March 04, 2026 01:21 PM (H4qGm)


I say leave 'em on so we can hang him by them.

Posted by: Additional Blond Agent, STEM Guy at March 04, 2026 01:22 PM (/HDaX)

14 Obviously Khan did make his Dem Party dues payments and he slid from his protected criminal class to mere citizen.
Next time: pay up chump.

Posted by: Voter theater. at March 04, 2026 01:22 PM (ZuEiM)

15 Shere Khan was one of the scariest Disney villains ever.

Posted by: Wally at March 04, 2026 01:23 PM (pduCL)

16 Well, I see I've been beat in making a CCR reference.

Posted by: Mark1971 at March 04, 2026 01:23 PM (CNl8/)

17 "Khan was accused of taking advantage of the Pakistani community with his election fraud misconduct."

Nice spin there. He didn't "take advantage" of these goatfuckers. These goatfuckers put him there! It's like claiming that Ilan Omer parasite took advantage of the Somali community.

Posted by: Judge Elric The Blade at March 04, 2026 01:24 PM (iFTx/)

18 CBS poll: 85% of Republicans support the President's strikes on Iran

Fox News poll: 84% of Republicans support strikes on Iran
---------

67% of Republicans are Pro Life

Posted by: ... at March 04, 2026 01:24 PM (e5WJR)

19 KAAAAAAHN!

Posted by: Capt Kirk at March 04, 2026 01:25 PM (1Udfd)

20 And yet they still gave him basically a slap on the wrist with 8 out of 10 possible years behind bars suspended pending he doesn't do anything so bad that they get off their asses and pursue him for parole violation, which I'm assuming in CA means he'd have to kill someone.

Posted by: ballistic at March 04, 2026 01:25 PM (3BwY8)

21
(repost"

Batya Ungar-Sargon
@bungarsargon
5h
CBS poll: 85% of Republicans support the President's strikes on Iran

Fox News poll: 84% of Republicans support strikes on Iran

Washington Post poll: 81% of Republicans support strikes on Iran

Retuers/Ipsos poll: 82% of Republicans support strikes on Iran

Liberal mainstream media: "MAGA SPLIT ON IRAN!"

Don't believe the fake news. MAGA isn't split. MAGA influencers are split from MAGA voters."

Posted by: runner at March 04, 2026 01:25 PM (GD0B3)

22 anyone know what elon musk supposedly did wrong with ballots in georgia?

Posted by: gnats local 678 at March 04, 2026 01:25 PM (CWTWj)

23 CBS poll: 85% of Republicans support the President's strikes on Iran

Fox News poll: 84% of Republicans support strikes on Iran
---------

82% of Republicans approve of Trump

Posted by: ... at March 04, 2026 01:25 PM (e5WJR)

24 U.S. President Donald Trump is expected to endorse John Cornyn over Ken Paxton in the Texas GOP primary runoff, sources tell The Atlantic.

Posted by: Mark1971 at March 04, 2026 01:25 PM (CNl8/)

25 But...but...I was assured by Democrats that this sort of thing never happens. Did they lie?

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at March 04, 2026 01:25 PM (bFu5X)

26 Khan!!!!!

Posted by: no one of any consequence at March 04, 2026 01:25 PM (qFwJc)

27 Wait. Did something happen?

Posted by: The person who thinks nothing will ever happen at March 04, 2026 01:25 PM (GxK4/)

28 "71 votes wouldn't have swung any election. Therefore no one would do this. Therefore, no elections have fraud in them."

And the fun part of this answer if you ask, "Shouldn't we make sure there aren't more Shakir Khans producing thousands of fake votes that would and have swayed elections" the answer is..."no that would be racist"

Posted by: 18-1 at March 04, 2026 01:25 PM (sKqQm)

29 The only sentence available for election fraud should be death.

Posted by: 18-1 at March 04, 2026 01:26 PM (sKqQm)

30 9 This is where most of the new fraud is coming from.

The number of people voting isn't substantially increased, but the number of ballots coming in are.
Posted by: 18-1

Which is why ultimately a return to paper ballots, paper registration precinct books, etc. need to be brought back and ballots counted with election judge signoffs at the precinct before going to a central counting facility. Absentee ballots received get counted before the election day.

It does not stop cheating but it makes the logistics for massive cheats much harder to pull off.

Posted by: whig at March 04, 2026 01:26 PM (E4rtv)

31 re 25: and then they say, but it wouldn't make any difference on election day

Posted by: gnats local 678 at March 04, 2026 01:26 PM (CWTWj)

32 24 U.S. President Donald Trump is expected to endorse John Cornyn over Ken Paxton in the Texas GOP primary runoff, sources tell The Atlantic.
Posted by: Mark1971
=======
Only Cornyn's people would pass something like that to the Atlantic. Problem is that Trump hates the Atlantic and its owner Ms. Steven Jobs who is friend of Ghislaine.

My guess is Trump stays out of it.

Posted by: whig at March 04, 2026 01:27 PM (E4rtv)

33 Say what you like about Shakir Khan, I still think she is a hotty and earned her title of Queen of Funk

Posted by: Kindltot at March 04, 2026 01:28 PM (rbvCR)

34 Chaka Khan >>> Shakir Khan

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at March 04, 2026 01:28 PM (r5b2S)

35 25 But...but...I was assured by Democrats that this sort of thing never happens. Did they lie?
Posted by: RedMindBlueState
======
When their lips move.

Posted by: whig at March 04, 2026 01:28 PM (E4rtv)

36 The real crime here is ist-a-phobia.

Posted by: Cray Cray at March 04, 2026 01:28 PM (QpHLI)

37
Republicans want to stop all fraud

Democrats want to stop Republicans

Posted by: ... at March 04, 2026 01:28 PM (e5WJR)

38 Islamojeet gonna Islamojeet

Posted by: XTC at March 04, 2026 01:29 PM (wa/yD)

39 FWIW, re Homeland Security funding bill in House--from Fox.

Eric Daugherty
@EricLDaugh
·
2h
🚨 HOLY CRAP! Speaker Johnson just revealed an order has gone out from House Democrat leadership demanding all Democrats VOTE DOWN reopening DHS tomorrow

So they are betraying America and keeping DHS closed while we face conflict with Iran and possible sleeper cells. TRAITORS.

"They have sent out a WHIP notice instructing Democrats to vote down Homeland Security funding. I ought to drop the mic right here and walk out of this room!"

"Democrats will fund tomorrow NOT to fund mission-critical operations!"
@SpeakerJohnson

Posted by: whig at March 04, 2026 01:29 PM (E4rtv)

40 My mistake. I mean that no matter what you think about Shakir Khan, she is a hot hotty from Colombia, and she has bust-ass dance moves.

I am sorry she is indicted in Spain over the tax evasion though.

Posted by: Kindltot at March 04, 2026 01:29 PM (rbvCR)

41 It doesn't happen, it rarely happens, it doesn't happen enough to change anything, it's actually a good thing it happens.

Posted by: davidt at March 04, 2026 01:29 PM (Q+gd/)

42 Texas Primary Runoff Day: May 26

Posted by: Cow Demon at March 04, 2026 01:30 PM (fYhK6)

43 When their lips move.

Posted by: whig at March 04, 2026 01:28 PM (E4rtv)

And when they don't. But all the other times they are telling the truth.

Posted by: ... at March 04, 2026 01:30 PM (e5WJR)

44 34 Chaka Khan >>> Shakir Khan
Posted by: RedMindBlueState at March 04, 2026 01:28 PM (r5b2S)


-----

Shiwan Kahn was a formidable foe.

Posted by: Lamont Cranston at March 04, 2026 01:30 PM (QpHLI)

45 Three years in county jail? Didn't know such a thing was possible.

I suspect this steamer will be quietly released in a few months, if even that.

Posted by: Judge Elric The Blade at March 04, 2026 01:30 PM (iFTx/)

46 5 KHAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNN!

Bend over, honey.
Posted by: The_Hoser at March 04, 2026 01:21 PM (H4qGm)

Kahn's ... The Keener Weiner

iykyk

Posted by: zombie Jimmy Dudley at March 04, 2026 01:30 PM (3sXRv)

47 39
"They have sent out a WHIP notice instructing Democrats to vote down Homeland Security funding. I ought to drop the mic right here and walk out of this room!"

"Democrats will fund tomorrow NOT to fund mission-critical operations!"
@SpeakerJohnson

Posted by: whig at March 04, 2026 01:29 PM (E4rtv)

======

Well, the House will pass it anyway, and it's just political posturing.

Which should play kind of badly with most people except those that write large checks to the DNC, of which there are increasingly few in number.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at March 04, 2026 01:31 PM (GBKbO)

48 And this, Ethics Cmte investigation of Gonzalez now.

Nick Sortor
@nicksortor
·
3h
🚨 BREAKING: The House Ethics Committee has launched an INVESTIGATION into Rep. Tony Gonzales’ improper affairs, “coincidentally” ONE DAY after his primary

How convenient! They did their best to protect Gonzales, but Brandon Herrera STILL got more votes.

LET’S GO BRANDON! 🇺🇸🔥

Posted by: whig at March 04, 2026 01:31 PM (E4rtv)

49 When their lips move.

Posted by: whig at March 04, 2026 01:28 PM (E4rtv)

Yes and only then!

Posted by: Democrat Ventriloquist Dummy at March 04, 2026 01:31 PM (e5WJR)

50 Is this why Ratchett lost?

Posted by: Eeyore at March 04, 2026 01:31 PM (AlhUl)

51 Remember that thing I promised I wouldn't do in your mouth again?

Whoops.

Posted by: ballistic at March 04, 2026 01:32 PM (3BwY8)

52 [The rumor is that Trump is going to endorse Cornyn and wants Paxton to drop out -- boo!]

Donald J. Trump
@realDonaldTrump

The Republican Primary Race for the United States Senate in the Great State of Texas, a State I LOVE and won 3 times in Record Numbers (the HIGHEST vote ever recorded, by far!!!), cannot, for the good of the Party, and our Country, itself, be allowed to go on any longer. IT MUST STOP NOW! We have an easy to beat, Radical Left Opponent, and we have to TOTALLY FOCUS on putting him away, quickly and decisively! Both John and Ken ran great races, but not good enough. Now, this one, must be PERFECT! My Endorsements within the Republican Party have been virtually insurmountable! It is such an honor to realize and say that almost everyone I Endorse WINS, and wins by a lot, especially in Texas! I will be making my Endorsement soon, and will be asking the candidate that I don’t Endorse to immediately DROP OUT OF THE RACE! Is that fair? We must win in November!!! Thank you for your attention to this matter. President DONALD J. TRUMP

https://is.gd/22CQ6L

Posted by: ShainS -- Algorithmic Racist, Semantic Ablationist, and Systematic Lobotomist at March 04, 2026 01:32 PM (bfM3F)

53 50 Is this why Ratchett lost?

Posted by: Eeyore at March 04, 2026 01:31 PM (AlhUl)

======

Jasmine Crockett lost because white progressives in Austin are afraid of a strong black, independent woman who speaks her mind. They think the black vote should sit down and shut up during primary voting and just turn out like chattel in the general election to vote in favor of whomever the white progressives have chosen to be the nominee.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at March 04, 2026 01:33 PM (GBKbO)

54 too much cabernet, nite,

Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at March 04, 2026 01:33 PM (MFAsx)

55 52 [The rumor is that Trump is going to endorse Cornyn and wants Paxton to drop out -- boo!]

I figured as much

Posted by: It's me donna at March 04, 2026 01:34 PM (I7RJN)

56 LET’S GO BRANDON! 🇺🇸🔥
Posted by: whig at March 04, 2026 01:31 PM


I want to see video of the first time he gets on the House floor and addresses the House as "You sexy YouTube motherlovers."

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at March 04, 2026 01:35 PM (bFu5X)

57 hobo ass is the bet tasting ass

Posted by: Sid at March 04, 2026 01:35 PM (X1vEy)

58 U.S. President Donald Trump is expected to endorse John Cornyn over Ken Paxton in the Texas GOP primary runoff, sources tell The Atlantic.

Sit this one out Donnie.

Posted by: Oddbob at March 04, 2026 01:35 PM (JXVa7)

59 If you think immigration enforcement is a threat to "your country", then your country isn't America

Posted by: 18-1 at March 04, 2026 01:36 PM (sKqQm)

60 I love Trump's thank you for your attention bit. It "stabilizes" whatever he says.

Posted by: ... at March 04, 2026 01:36 PM (e5WJR)

61
Sit this one out Donnie.
Posted by: Oddbob at March 04, 2026 01:35 PM (JXVa7)

Doesn't sound like he's going to...

Posted by: It's me donna at March 04, 2026 01:36 PM (I7RJN)

62 They think the black vote should sit down and shut up during primary voting and just turn out like chattel in the general election to vote in favor of whomever the white progressives have chosen to be the nominee.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at March 04, 2026 01:33 PM


Given their track record of doing just that, why should the white progressives think differently?

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at March 04, 2026 01:36 PM (bFu5X)

63 IN related news: Gay Fredo Colorado Guv, to his credit, is reconsidering releasing Tina Peters because a former state dem senator got convicted of the exact same thing and got PROBATION naturally. Peters got 9 years.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at March 04, 2026 01:36 PM (n5tGW)

64 Ugh yeah please don't get involved in the Texas GOP stupidity Donald. You're setting yourself up for failure.

Posted by: ballistic at March 04, 2026 01:36 PM (3BwY8)

65 , paper registration precinct books, etc. need to be brought back and ballots counted with election judge signoffs at the precinct before going to a central counting facility.

I don't know, I kind of like the system our county has, where they have to scan your government-issued picture ID into the system, and then they hand you your paper ballot.

Means that somebody has to have stolen your ID to vote under your name.

Posted by: FeatherBlade at March 04, 2026 01:36 PM (a+4eV)

66 I wonder how long it will take White people to figure out that this country has been is South African-ized.

Posted by: resist_we_much at March 04, 2026 01:36 PM (cpys8)

67 ICE and DHS are a greater threat to Democrats than Iran ever was.

Posted by: davidt at March 04, 2026 01:36 PM (Q+gd/)

68 Wow. Those Tony Gonzales texts with the dead girl. Just wow.

He is toast.

Posted by: Judge Elric The Blade at March 04, 2026 01:37 PM (iFTx/)

69 Jasmine Crockett lost because white progressives in Austin are afraid of a strong black, independent woman who speaks her mind. They think the black vote should sit down and shut up during primary voting and just turn out like chattel in the general election to vote in favor of whomever the white progressives have chosen to be the nominee.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at March 04, 2026 01:33 PM (GBKbO)

Who you tellin'?

Posted by: Winsome Sears at March 04, 2026 01:37 PM (oSeBJ)

70 Posted by: davidt at March 04, 2026 01:36 PM (Q+gd/)

LOL

Posted by: ... at March 04, 2026 01:37 PM (e5WJR)

71
He is toast.
Posted by: Judge Elric The Blade at March 04, 2026 01:37 PM (iFTx/)

Bad choice of words in this case

Posted by: It's me donna at March 04, 2026 01:37 PM (I7RJN)

72 71
He is toast.
Posted by: Judge Elric The Blade at March 04, 2026 01:37 PM (iFTx/)

Bad choice of words in this case

Posted by: It's me donna at March 04, 2026 01:37 PM (I7RJN)

======

Or...the perfect words...?

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at March 04, 2026 01:38 PM (GBKbO)

73 Posted by: Sid at March 04, 2026 01:35 PM (X1vEy)

:ulls string::

Gimme another canned phrase NPC

Posted by: Halfhand at March 04, 2026 01:38 PM (cXw3b)

74 The rumor is that Trump is going to endorse Cornyn and wants Paxton to drop out
-
Meh. Trump isn't perfect, and voters are free to pay more attention to Cornyn's record than random endorsements.

Posted by: Methos at March 04, 2026 01:39 PM (vSvIl)

75 Wow. Those Tony Gonzales texts with the dead girl. Just wow.

He is toast.
Posted by: Judge Elric The Blade at March 04, 2026 01:37 PM


If you haven't gone to Herrera's EweToob channel and seen the video he put out about this last week, you should. Brutal.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at March 04, 2026 01:39 PM (bFu5X)

76 If Trump endorses Cornyn Paxton will not drop out... This will be a bad move for Trump

Posted by: It's me donna at March 04, 2026 01:39 PM (I7RJN)

77 I generally don't get into the master's headlines but I like:

That Thing That Never Happens in Your Mouth Happened Again

Posted by: ... at March 04, 2026 01:40 PM (e5WJR)

78 Bagheera was a bigger badass than Shere Khan.

Posted by: Bulg at March 04, 2026 01:40 PM (77rzZ)

79 Unexpectedly!

Posted by: Count de Monet at March 04, 2026 01:41 PM (wVcYX)

80 Shakir Kahnvict!

Good.

Posted by: Boswell at March 04, 2026 01:41 PM (V7158)

81 >>If you haven't gone to Herrera's EweToob channel and seen the video he put out about this last week, you should. Brutal.



The part where he looks at the camera and reads the text that says: 'Anal?', that is Peak Youtube.

Posted by: garrett at March 04, 2026 01:41 PM (1Udfd)

82 "Rumor" wherever Trump's concerned is always useless information.

Posted by: ... at March 04, 2026 01:41 PM (e5WJR)

83 82 "Rumor" wherever Trump's concerned is always useless information.

Posted by: ... at March 04, 2026 01:41 PM (e5WJR)

=======

Anonymous sources!

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at March 04, 2026 01:42 PM (GBKbO)

84 The rumor is that Trump is going to endorse Cornyn and wants Paxton to drop out

Figures.

Posted by: resist_we_much at March 04, 2026 01:42 PM (cpys8)

85 76 If Trump endorses Cornyn Paxton will not drop out... This will be a bad move for Trump
Posted by: It's me donna

This is being floated in leftwing mags. Atlantic and now Politico. Neither have been very good at predicting what Trump does or does not do. My guess is Cornyn operatives are doing this. Right now, I suspect Trump has more things on his mind than endorsing an old GOPe type months before the election. He seems to be cagier than that on past endorsements.

Posted by: whig at March 04, 2026 01:42 PM (E4rtv)

86 I can't be the only one who has come across the poster on X who calls himself "evan loves worf" and figures what an odd name - assume that he fantasizes about Worf from Star Trek pounding his scrawny power bottom with his barbed bat'leth. Otherwise I know nothing other than he has some of the worst takes imaginable.

Posted by: Chuck Martel at March 04, 2026 01:42 PM (Dv3i1)

87 Wow. Those Tony Gonzales texts with the dead girl. Just wow.

He is toast.
Posted by: Judge Elric The Blade at March 04, 2026 01:37 PM

If you haven't gone to Herrera's EweToob channel and seen the video he put out about this last week, you should. Brutal.
Posted by: RedMindBlueState at March 04, 2026 01:39 PM (bFu5X)
________

The texts are here:

https://tinyurl.com/2em6ebbv

Just wow. I think it's dumb and inappropriate for a politician to sext with subordinates even if it's consensual. But Gonzales was trying to force himself on an clearly unwilling woman. Gross.

Posted by: Judge Elric The Blade at March 04, 2026 01:43 PM (iFTx/)

88 If only Trump would talk more. Let people know what's on his mind sometimes. Then people wouldn't have to speculate.

Posted by: ... at March 04, 2026 01:44 PM (e5WJR)

89 CAN ANYONE BEAT THE BLADE?
>>>>>>Posted by: Judge Elric The Blade at March 04, 2026 01:20 PM (iFTx/)

Dude, give it a rest.

Posted by: Same Old at March 04, 2026 01:44 PM (vhT+g)

90 Cornyn is probably polling better than Paxton, Trump would not go with some half-cocked endorsement because of "feelings".

Posted by: runner at March 04, 2026 01:45 PM (GD0B3)

91 Can we give credit and chalk up a solid win for the DOJ?

Posted by: JM in Illinois at March 04, 2026 01:45 PM (fyPzL)

92 Cornyn has GOT to go. I said what I've said.

Posted by: Count de Monet at March 04, 2026 01:45 PM (wVcYX)

93 The county medical examiner determined her death was the result of self-immolation.
----------

Twice in the back of the head.

Posted by: ... at March 04, 2026 01:45 PM (e5WJR)

94 If Cornyn endorsement rumor is true.

Posted by: runner at March 04, 2026 01:46 PM (GD0B3)

95 90 Cornyn is probably polling better than Paxton, Trump would not go with some half-cocked endorsement because of "feelings".

Posted by: runner at March 04, 2026 01:45 PM (GD0B3)

======

Trump put out an actual statement, you know.

And it's not endorsing Cornyn.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at March 04, 2026 01:46 PM (GBKbO)

96 Rumors?

Posted by: Fleetwood Mac at March 04, 2026 01:46 PM (wVcYX)

97 90 Cornyn is probably polling better than Paxton, Trump would not go with some half-cocked endorsement because of "feelings".
Posted by: runner at March 04, 2026 01:45 PM (GD0B3)

The third place Candidate I believe probably drew from Paxton... Has he endorsed either ?

Posted by: It's me donna at March 04, 2026 01:46 PM (I7RJN)

98 I don't know, I kind of like the system our county has, where they have to scan your government-issued picture ID into the system, and then they hand you your paper ballot.

Means that somebody has to have stolen your ID to vote under your name.
Posted by: FeatherBlade

You can do that but the registration, signature, etc. needs to be on paper, not electronic. Anything electronic can be altered with no trace. Paper, not so much--you either have to vanish it by shredding etc. but that raises immediate red flags, or you have to clumsily alter paper documents like precinct sign in sheets. Makes it much more difficult and requires a dispersed fraud op versus a centralized one. And makes it harder to do their ballot drops of anonymous ballots onto central counting stations by creating a voter id, erasing a voter id, after the ballots are counted. Plenty of evidence that is the case now. PA in 2020 200k more votes than registered voters for example or Fulton County with 120 percent turnout of registered voters which shows the same thing. Anonymous fake ballots inserted that have no voter attached to them.

Posted by: whig at March 04, 2026 01:47 PM (E4rtv)

99 The bitch about lighting yourself on fire is how you then get yourself into the suitcase and then bury yourself in a swamp. But some county coroners say it's doable.

Posted by: ... at March 04, 2026 01:47 PM (e5WJR)

100 Khan man

Posted by: Buzz Adrenaline at March 04, 2026 01:47 PM (JRP2U)

101 Hard to tell if it's the US or just plain ole communism

@spectatorindex 27m
BREAKING: Two-thirds of Cuba hit by electricity blackout, cause not yet known.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at March 04, 2026 01:48 PM (diia5)

102 The third place Candidate I believe probably drew from Paxton... Has he endorsed either ?
Posted by: It's me donna
======
If he owes money, he will probably endorse whichever candidate pays off his campaign debts. Endorsements though rarely matter from other candidates especially when the time between primary and runoff is nearly 2 months away. May 26th.

Posted by: whig at March 04, 2026 01:48 PM (E4rtv)

103 Dude, give it a rest.
Posted by: Same Old at March 04, 2026 01:44 PM (vhT+g)

"Not gonna happen." - that guy who always knows the Blade never gives it a rest.

Posted by: Boswell at March 04, 2026 01:48 PM (V7158)

104 101 Hard to tell if it's the US or just plain ole communism

@spectatorindex 27m
BREAKING: Two-thirds of Cuba hit by electricity blackout, cause not yet known.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at March 04, 2026 01:48 PM (diia5)

=====

Communism works only when subsidized by America.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at March 04, 2026 01:48 PM (GBKbO)

105 The fact that this conviction happened in California of all places shows how pervasive the fraud must be. There must be hundreds of guys like this in the state and Khan just happened to step on someone's toes enough to get punished.

Posted by: Surfperch at March 04, 2026 01:48 PM (NQi1o)

106 Hard to tell if it's the US or just plain ole communism

@spectatorindex 27m
BREAKING: Two-thirds of Cuba hit by electricity blackout, cause not yet known.
Posted by: weft cut-loop at March 04, 2026 01:48 PM (diia5)

De electrons no move.

Posted by: It's Physics! at March 04, 2026 01:49 PM (wVcYX)

107
I'm trying to believe that there's any point to voting in elections in California. And failing.

Manufacturing votes is a seasonal industry in this state. Millions of ballots. This clown made his thievery impossible to ignore. The rest will get away with it.

Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at March 04, 2026 01:49 PM (azNOR)

108 Dude, give it a rest.
Posted by: Same Old at March 04, 2026 01:44 PM (vhT+g)

"Not gonna happen." - that guy who always knows the Blade never gives it a rest.

Posted by: Boswell at March 04, 2026 01:48 PM (V715

Right?

Posted by: The girl who's fucking tired of the Blade being first every time at March 04, 2026 01:49 PM (oSeBJ)

109 I know with certainty I never want to find myself matching wits with Karoline Leavitt. I wouldn't even attempt to debate where to go for dinner with her. What is really impressive is her command of facts and policy positions. She is a force of nature.

Posted by: Alteria Pilgram - My President has convictions at March 04, 2026 01:50 PM (BnDlA)

110 107
I'm trying to believe that there's any point to voting in elections in California. And failing.

Manufacturing votes is a seasonal industry in this state. Millions of ballots. This clown made his thievery impossible to ignore. The rest will get away with it.
Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at March 04, 2026 01:49 PM (azNOR)

I vote here anyway .. At least I'm never disapointed

Posted by: It's me donna at March 04, 2026 01:50 PM (I7RJN)

111 The part where he looks at the camera and reads the text that says: 'Anal?', that is Peak Youtube.
Posted by: garrett

WHAT'S THE CHANNEL NAME!?¿??!

Posted by: Pete Buttigieg at March 04, 2026 01:50 PM (JCZqz)

112 De electrons no move.
Posted by: It's Physics! at March 04, 2026 01:49 PM


Well, it's hard to get amped up around here these days.

Posted by: De electrons at March 04, 2026 01:51 PM (0sNs1)

113 56 LET’S GO BRANDON! 🇺🇸🔥
Posted by: whig at March 04, 2026 01:31 PM

I want to see video of the first time he gets on the House floor and addresses the House as "You sexy YouTube motherlovers."
Posted by: RedMindBlueState at March 04, 2026 01:35 PM (bFu5X)

+1

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at March 04, 2026 01:51 PM (xcxpd)

114 Caroline Leavitt is the best Press Secretary evah.

Posted by: Denny Crane - I Believe That of Every Woman, So Sue Me. at March 04, 2026 01:52 PM (nsUkS)

115 At least I'm never disapointed
Posted by: It's me donna at March 04, 2026 01:50 PM


Ace only wishes he could say the same.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at March 04, 2026 01:52 PM (0sNs1)

116 I'm not up to speed on Texas but isn't Cornyn a squish Republican who can't be relied on? I'm not sure and looking for some nollidge on this.

Posted by: Chairborne!...Desk From Above! at March 04, 2026 01:53 PM (G0Snx)

117 Posted by: The girl who's fucking tired of the Blade being first every time at March 04, 2026 01:49 PM

* makes, how you say, 'call me' sign *

Posted by: Paolo at March 04, 2026 01:53 PM (0sNs1)

118 Shakir Khan? I thought that was the tiger from Jungle Book

Posted by: weew at March 04, 2026 01:53 PM (S4IL1)

119 Why is voter fraud so big in california

they're like +40 Karens in demographics

Posted by: The Unvaxed and Unmasked Ranger - Where Are My Keto Cheetos at March 04, 2026 01:53 PM (REq0p)

120 You fought in the meme wars?


I was a shit-poster once, yes.

Posted by: rickb223 at March 04, 2026 01:54 PM (pKr8Y)

121 County jail? Is thst where Otis walks in and out and locks the cell behind him.And then goes home on weekends?

Posted by: JM in Illinois at March 04, 2026 01:54 PM (Gh3UR)

122 I'm not up to speed on Texas but isn't Cornyn a squish Republican who can't be relied on? I'm not sure and looking for some nollidge on this.
Posted by: Chairborne!...Desk From Above! at March 04, 2026 01:53 PM


It depends on what the definition of 'relied on' is.

Posted by: GOPe at March 04, 2026 01:54 PM (0sNs1)

123 I'm not up to speed on Texas but isn't Cornyn a squish Republican who can't be relied on? I'm not sure and looking for some nollidge on this.
Posted by: Chairborne!...Desk From Above!



You are definitely up to speed.

Posted by: rickb223 at March 04, 2026 01:55 PM (pKr8Y)

124 IN related news: Gay Fredo Colorado Guv, to his credit, is reconsidering releasing Tina Peters because a former state dem senator got convicted of the exact same thing and got PROBATION naturally. Peters got 9 years.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at March 04, 2026 01:36 PM (n5tGW)

---------------

The Wifey frequently brings up the Tina Peters still being imprisoned issue.

My response is always the same: "Why hasn't Trump sent in Seal Team Six to break her out?!?!?!"

Posted by: ShainS -- Algorithmic Racist, Semantic Ablationist, and Systematic Lobotomist at March 04, 2026 01:55 PM (EAFL2)

125 Just wow. I think it's dumb and inappropriate for a politician to sext with subordinates even if it's consensual. But Gonzales was trying to force himself on an clearly unwilling woman. Gross.
Posted by: Judge Elric The Blade at March 04, 2026 01:43 PM (iFTx/)

Damn! If the woman's widower were to shoot Gonzales dead, I would deem it to be justifiable homicide if I were on the jury.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at March 04, 2026 01:56 PM (8zz6B)

126 The third place Candidate I believe probably drew from Paxton... Has he endorsed either ?
Posted by: It's me donna
======
If he owes money, he will probably endorse whichever candidate pays off his campaign debts. Endorsements though rarely matter from other candidates especially when the time between primary and runoff is nearly 2 months away. May 26th.
Posted by: whig at March 04, 2026 01:48 PM (E4rtv)

Wesley Hunt, currently TX-38 congresscritter. Haven't heard of him lobbing any endorsements around like a scimitar from a lad in a pond.

Posted by: Count de Monet at March 04, 2026 01:57 PM (wVcYX)

127 De electrons no move.
Posted by: It's Physics! at March 04, 2026 01:49 PM

Well, it's hard to get amped up around here these days.
Posted by: De electrons at March 04, 2026 01:51 PM (0sNs1)

Current events

Posted by: Buzz Adrenaline at March 04, 2026 01:57 PM (JRP2U)

128 Caroline Leavitt is the best Press Secretary evah.
Posted by: Denny Crane - I Believe That of Every Woman, So Sue Me

She is America's bossy big sister.

Posted by: Alteria Pilgram - My President has convictions at March 04, 2026 01:57 PM (BnDlA)

129 From the Pentagon briefing today, it appears we have moved from having air superiority in the battlespace to air supremacy. No further need for standoff munitions. Things are about to get more kinetic.

Posted by: one hour sober at March 04, 2026 01:57 PM (Y1sOo)

130 @spectatorindex 27m
BREAKING: Two-thirds of Cuba hit by electricity blackout, cause not yet known.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at March 04, 2026 01:48 PM

Somebody tripped over the extension cord and pulled it out of the wall.

Posted by: Frank Barone at March 04, 2026 01:57 PM (IifOV)

131 I'm not up to speed on Texas but isn't Cornyn a squish Republican who can't be relied on? I'm not sure and looking for some nollidge on this.
Posted by: Chairborne!...Desk From Above!


John Cornyn votes with President Trump 99% of the time. -- John Cornyn

It'd probably be fine if you picked a different 1%, you backstabbing piece of shit. -- Texas voters

Posted by: I used to have a different nic at March 04, 2026 01:58 PM (ExV1e)

132 *Well, it's hard to get amped up around here these days.*


Resist we much.

Posted by: Al Notsharpton at March 04, 2026 01:58 PM (GxK4/)

133 129 From the Pentagon briefing today, it appears we have moved from having air superiority in the battlespace to air supremacy. No further need for standoff munitions. Things are about to get more kinetic.
Posted by: one hour sober at March 04, 2026 01:57 PM (Y1sOo

I bet we know where the new Ayatollah is too...

Posted by: It's me donna at March 04, 2026 01:58 PM (I7RJN)

134 Why is voter fraud so big in california

they're like +40 Karens in demographics

Posted by: The Unvaxed and Unmasked Ranger - Where Are My Keto Cheetos at March 04, 2026 01:53 PM (REq0p)

Maybe they're not.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at March 04, 2026 01:58 PM (zZu0s)

135 109 I know with certainty I never want to find myself matching wits with Karoline Leavitt. I wouldn't even attempt to debate where to go for dinner with her. What is really impressive is her command of facts and policy positions. She is a force of nature.
Posted by: Alteria Pilgram

You just don't have the balls to handle a strong woman!!!!

Posted by: Jasmine Crockett at March 04, 2026 01:58 PM (JCZqz)

136 @spectatorindex 27m
BREAKING: Two-thirds of Cuba hit by electricity blackout, cause not yet known.
Posted by: weft cut-loop at March 04, 2026 01:48 PM (diia5)

----
Did they try turning it off and back on again?

Posted by: AoSHQ Help Desk at March 04, 2026 01:59 PM (ESVrU)

137 @spectatorindex 27m
BREAKING: Two-thirds of Cuba hit by electricity blackout, cause not yet known.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at March 04, 2026 01:48 PM

Somebody tripped over the extension cord and pulled it out of the wall.
Posted by: Frank Barone at March 04, 2026 01:57 PM (IifOV)

Just kidding!

Posted by: Johnny at March 04, 2026 01:59 PM (wVcYX)

138 136 @spectatorindex 27m
BREAKING: Two-thirds of Cuba hit by electricity blackout, cause not yet known.
Posted by: weft cut-loop at March 04, 2026 01:48 PM (diia5)

They should check the fuse box

Posted by: It's me donna at March 04, 2026 01:59 PM (I7RJN)

139 0sNs1 vs oSeBJ

Thundersock

Two Socks go in - One comes out

Posted by: Boswell at March 04, 2026 01:59 PM (V7158)

140 129 From the Pentagon briefing today, it appears we have moved from having air superiority in the battlespace to air supremacy. No further need for standoff munitions. Things are about to get more kinetic.
Posted by: one hour sober at March 04, 2026 01:57 PM (Y1sOo
---
Running around a battle space on god mode is fun for a while, but it does get boring eventually...

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at March 04, 2026 02:00 PM (ESVrU)

141 Ok, so those new AoS ads are now giving me a pretty blonde woman with an HH rack no idea what they are trying to sell but hey I'll buy!

Posted by: Some Moron at March 04, 2026 02:00 PM (sKqQm)

142 Whoa? So it wasn't an actual affair? He was trying to bang an unwilling employee?

If you have to bang your own steno pool, your game is shit.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at March 04, 2026 02:00 PM (zZu0s)

143 Two Socks go in - One comes out
Posted by: Boswell at March 04, 2026 01:59 PM (V715

Kind of like the dryer

Posted by: Boswell at March 04, 2026 02:00 PM (V7158)

144 136 @spectatorindex 27m
BREAKING: Two-thirds of Cuba hit by electricity blackout, cause not yet known.
Posted by: weft cut-loop at March 04, 2026 01:48 PM (diia5)

They should check the fuse box
Posted by: It's me donna at March 04, 2026 01:59 PM (I7RJN)

Don't Anybody Move!

Posted by: Old Man Parker at March 04, 2026 02:01 PM (wVcYX)

145 Every time the House votes on a bill or whatever, they do so with their Congressional ID card. They stick it in a machine with 3 buttons that records their vote:
- Yea
- Nay
- Present

A 4th button lights up to indicate the vote is open.

This whole bit about voter ID and whatnot is pure horseshit. I mean, you could be like the Blade and be first in line and just fingerbang the Y or N button 100 times to tilt the vote in your favor.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at March 04, 2026 02:01 PM (jtM2q)

146 Truth Social:
The Republican Primary Race for the United States Senate in the Great State of Texas, a State I LOVE and won 3 times in Record Numbers (the HIGHEST vote ever recorded, by far!!!), cannot, for the good of the Party, and our Country, itself, be allowed to go on any longer. IT MUST STOP NOW! We have an easy to beat, Radical Left Opponent, and we have to TOTALLY FOCUS on putting him away, quickly and decisively! Both John and Ken ran great races, but not good enough. Now, this one, must be PERFECT! My Endorsements within the Republican Party have been virtually insurmountable! It is such an honor to realize and say that almost everyone I Endorse WINS, and wins by a lot, especially in Texas! I will be making my Endorsement soon, and will be asking the candidate that I don’t Endorse to immediately DROP OUT OF THE RACE! Is that fair? We must win in November!!! Thank you for your attention to this matter. President DONALD J. TRUMP

Posted by: rickb223 at March 04, 2026 02:01 PM (pKr8Y)

147 Looks like with outside groups Cornyn spent about $100 million and Cornyn's cash reserves are about the same as Paxton's at about 5 million each.

So, you wonder if part of the calculus in DC GOP leadership is Trump trading off his endorsement for the SAVE act vote. That might be enough to get Mitch on board if not Murcow, Collins, or Curtis.

Loser of the endorsement gets a guarantee to an high level federal appointment.

Posted by: whig at March 04, 2026 02:01 PM (E4rtv)

148 Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?

Posted by: Classic Seinfeld at March 04, 2026 02:01 PM (GxK4/)

149 We are taking over Cuba by the end of the month. Sort of like "receivership"...just my assessment.

Posted by: runner at March 04, 2026 02:01 PM (GD0B3)

150
Prosecutors in San Joaquin County accused Khan and his two brothers, Zakir Khan and Mohammed Khan, of running illegal internet gambling hubs at two of his business.

So a councilman and smoke shop owner, who - allegedly intimidated residents — all of whom were members of the city’s Pakistani community — into voting for him.

But he also had 22 charges related to false claims filed with the California Employment Development Department regarding COVID-19 reimbursements, and more from illegal gambling operation and money laundering.

County jail, allowed to work for restitution and to support family. A further 8-year state prison sentence stayed but t may be imposed if Khan violates supervision.

Great. Looks like restorative justice in action.

BTW, a legal citizen?

Posted by: L - No nic, another fine day at March 04, 2026 02:02 PM (NFX2v)

151 I know with certainty I never want to find myself matching wits with Karoline Leavitt. I wouldn't even attempt to debate where to go for dinner with her.

There are very few men who would argue with a woman who actually said what she wanted for dinner.

Posted by: I used to have a different nic at March 04, 2026 02:02 PM (ExV1e)

152 So, you wonder if part of the calculus in DC GOP leadership is Trump trading off his endorsement for the SAVE act vote. That might be enough to get Mitch on board if not Murcow, Collins, or Curtis.

Loser of the endorsement gets a guarantee to an high level federal appointment.
Posted by: whig at March 04, 2026 02:01 PM (E4rtv)

I was thinking something like that

Posted by: It's me donna at March 04, 2026 02:02 PM (I7RJN)

153 Loser of the endorsement gets a guarantee to an high level federal appointment.
Posted by: whig at March 04, 2026 02:01 PM (E4rtv)

It sucks, but this is important enough to shell out the 30 to get the little shit to do what he should anyway.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at March 04, 2026 02:03 PM (zZu0s)

154 Somebody tripped over the extension cord and pulled it out of the wall.
Posted by: Frank Barone at March 04, 2026 01:57 PM (IifOV)

Just kidding!
Posted by: Johnny at March 04, 2026 01:59 PM (wVcYX)

LOL

Posted by: Denny Crane - I Love Airplane References! at March 04, 2026 02:03 PM (B0t/V)

155 Most things never outlive their usefulness as humor or otherwise around here, but every now and again you get one.

Posted by: ... at March 04, 2026 02:03 PM (e5WJR)

156 BREAKING: Two-thirds of Cuba hit by electricity blackout, cause not yet known.
Posted by: weft cut-loop at March 04, 2026 01:48 PM (diia5)


I think they finally ran out of oil for the plants powering their grid. It was predicted a week or so back when Mexico and Pemex decided not to send any in Venezuela's place

Posted by: Kindltot at March 04, 2026 02:03 PM (rbvCR)

157 Whoa? So it wasn't an actual affair? He was trying to bang an unwilling employee?

If you have to bang your own steno pool, your game is shit.
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at March 04, 2026 02:00 PM (zZu0s)

No, he did bang her.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at March 04, 2026 02:04 PM (8zz6B)

158 [Missed this from yesterday from RedState:]

"Trump Broke Them: The President Will Attend His First White House Correspondents' Dinner"

[Includes his embedded & entertaining Truth Social post]

https://is.gd/XuWlGL

Posted by: ShainS -- Algorithmic Racist, Semantic Ablationist, and Systematic Lobotomist at March 04, 2026 02:04 PM (EAFL2)

159 The cause of Cuba's blackout is not yet known?
I know, it's because they can't produce electricity.
They have actually reached the punchline of a joke
"What did communists use for light before candles? Electricity

Posted by: Smell the Glove at March 04, 2026 02:04 PM (/C62k)

160 This whole bit about voter ID and whatnot is pure horseshit. I mean, you could be like the Blade and be first in line and just fingerbang the Y or N button 100 times to tilt the vote in your favor.
Posted by: Martini Farmer at March 04, 2026 02:01 PM (jtM2q)


Given that it actually records the vote as YOUR vote, that would be less successful than you're imagining.

Posted by: I used to have a different nic at March 04, 2026 02:04 PM (ExV1e)

161 Maybe they're not.
Posted by: Aetius451AD
=====
My guess is about 20-25 percent fraud in mail in ballot states either via paid harvesters getting blank ballots from real people and filling them out for real people (often paid with gift cards) or pristine ballots filled out for fake, dead, and moved, voter registrants. The later and later counting dates certainly are mostly fraudulent and fake ballots at that time simply because the Dems know how many ballots they need to win and keep counting until they get them.

Scotus ruling that ballots have to be received by election day would be a big deterrent to that sort of cheating.

Posted by: whig at March 04, 2026 02:04 PM (E4rtv)

162 BREAKING: Two-thirds of Cuba hit by electricity blackout, cause not yet known.
Posted by: weft cut-loop at March 04, 2026 01:48 PM (diia5)
---
I don't have an alibi!

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at March 04, 2026 02:05 PM (ESVrU)

163 @spectatorindex 27m
BREAKING: Two-thirds of Cuba hit by electricity blackout, cause not yet known.
Posted by: weft cut-loop at March 04, 2026 01:48 PM (diia5)

Have they tried unplugging it and plugging it back in?

Posted by: Methos at March 04, 2026 02:06 PM (vSvIl)

164 MAD Magazine once had a joke "behind the wall" feature. One of the strips was the laundromat and, behind the dryer, the "Super Sock Sucker".

Posted by: gKWVE at March 04, 2026 02:06 PM (gKWVE)

165 Is rock-ribbed Cornyn leading the charge to pass the SAVE act? I guess not, then.


Mr. President. You CAN spare this man. He plumb doesn't fight. Well, except as directed by the Kentucky Turtle and against those outside of the UniParty coalition. But other than that, he's a solid mewling quim.

Posted by: Count de Monet at March 04, 2026 02:06 PM (wVcYX)

166 Stelllllaaaaa!

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at March 04, 2026 02:06 PM (C5K3W)

167
I keep sayin', getting into local governance is now the modus. Conservatives need to start doing it. I talked in another post about the empty Fresno City Council seat now up for grabs, the runners being Mohamed, Ariela, Shakir*, and Rene Campos**, who is literally a registered sex offender and who argues, "You are not your past."

*not exact names
**exact name

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at March 04, 2026 02:07 PM (pAy1S)

168 If vote fraud "never affects the outcome," how come Democrats keep doing it?

Posted by: People's Hippo Voice at March 04, 2026 02:07 PM (HXT0k)

169 153 Loser of the endorsement gets a guarantee to an high level federal appointment.
Posted by: whig at March 04, 2026 02:01 PM (E4rtv)

It sucks, but this is important enough to shell out the 30 to get the little shit to do what he should anyway.
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone

Mebbe. Sometimes presidents can get too clever by half in endorsement games. FWIW, Cornyn and Mitch were friends when Cornyn was in the leadership (had Thune's position previously) and Mitch's staffers are probably looking to jump ship to a new guy too. His staffers are running the office and Mitch today gave strong endorsement to Trump's Iran strikes on the floor of the Senate.

Posted by: whig at March 04, 2026 02:07 PM (E4rtv)

170
Sit this one out Donnie.
Posted by: Oddbob

Doesn't sound like he's going to...
Posted by: It's me donna


It's impossible
Tell the sun to leave the sky
It's just impossible
It's impossible
Ask a baby not to cry
It's just impossible

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at March 04, 2026 02:07 PM (Cqx++)

171 @spectatorindex 27m
BREAKING: Two-thirds of Cuba hit by electricity blackout, cause not yet known.
Posted by: weft cut-loop at March 04, 2026 01:48 PM (diia5)

Luuuucy!! You got some 'splainin' to do!!!!

Posted by: Tex Lovera at March 04, 2026 02:07 PM (wtvvX)

172 Fuck. We haven't sunk a ship with a torpedo since wwii?

We are dusting off the oldies!

I love the fuck out of this administration.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at March 04, 2026 02:07 PM (zZu0s)

173 @spectatorindex 27m
BREAKING: Two-thirds of Cuba hit by electricity blackout, cause not yet known.
Posted by: weft cut-loop at March 04, 2026 01:48 PM (diia5)


I assume that the egalitarian leaders of the totally class-free Cuba are among the people without electricity.

Posted by: I used to have a different nic at March 04, 2026 02:08 PM (ExV1e)

174 If Trump does a tepid "endorsement" of Cornyn in exchange for the SAVE vote, Paxton might be able to weather that. Everyone will know Cornyn extorted the American people for it.

Posted by: gKWVE at March 04, 2026 02:08 PM (gKWVE)

175 > This whole bit about voter ID and whatnot is pure horseshit. I mean, you could be like the Blade and be first in line and just fingerbang the Y or N button 100 times to tilt the vote in your favor.
Posted by: Martini Farmer at March 04, 2026 02:01 PM (jtM2q)

Given that it actually records the vote as YOUR vote, that would be less successful than you're imagining.
Posted by: I used to have a different nic at March 04, 2026 02:04 PM (ExV1e)
-----------
I didn't articulate that it would allow that if it did not require the ID card to vote.

Which is the stance the Democrats and Republicans who are against voter ID have.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at March 04, 2026 02:08 PM (jtM2q)

176 I keep sayin', getting into local governance is now the modus. Conservatives need to start doing it. I talked in another post about the empty Fresno City Council seat now up for grabs, the runners being Mohamed, Ariela, Shakir*, and Rene Campos**, who is literally a registered sex offender and who argues, "You are not your past."

*not exact names
**exact name
Posted by: Blonde Morticia at March 04, 2026 02:07 PM (pAy1S)
---
I wonder how many people run for office to:

1) Give themselves immunity for past misdeeds

2) Get in on a whole new industry of crime.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at March 04, 2026 02:09 PM (ESVrU)

177 on topic of something that rhymes with "sock sucker".

Posted by: gKWVE at March 04, 2026 02:09 PM (gKWVE)

178 If vote fraud "never affects the outcome," how come Democrats keep doing it?
Posted by: People's Hippo Voice at March 04, 2026 02:07 PM (HXT0k)


We don't question your hobbies. -- Democrats

Posted by: I used to have a different nic at March 04, 2026 02:09 PM (ExV1e)

179 Well, we can always vote for none of the above.
Or write in your own name.
It's your vote, have some fun with it. It's not like your one vote makes a difference anyway.

Posted by: Case at March 04, 2026 02:09 PM (gQFwH)

180 Madeline Kahn>Shaka Khan>KHAAAAAAN!>Jinjis Khan>>>>>>>>>Shakira>>>>>>>>>>Shakir Khan

Posted by: SloPitch Whiffer at March 04, 2026 02:09 PM (NYInA)

181 167. Posted by: Blonde Morticia

Are any Liberian war lords? We've had those.

Posted by: L - No nic, another fine day at March 04, 2026 02:09 PM (NFX2v)

182 I just read "irregardless" is considered an actual, in the dictionary, word.

All the world's problems seem quite small compared to this atrocity

Posted by: Field Marshal Zhukov at March 04, 2026 02:10 PM (wBaIH)

183 These media press pools are some of the dumbest people in DC. Journalists need to study history, and listen.

Posted by: Rev. Wishbone at March 04, 2026 02:10 PM (gVUi7)

184 Madeline Kahn>Shaka Khan>KHAAAAAAN!>Jinjis Khan>>>>>>>>>Shakira>>>>>>>>>>Shakir Khan
Posted by: SloPitch Whiffer at March 04, 2026 02:09 PM (NYInA)

I actually endorse this one without modification. (Except I would swap Shaka khan and Khan Noonian Singh.)

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at March 04, 2026 02:11 PM (zZu0s)

185 I just read "irregardless" is considered an actual, in the dictionary, word.
All the world's problems seem quite small compared to this atrocity
Posted by: Field Marshal Zhukov at March 04, 2026 02:10 PM (wBaIH)


Unfortunately in English, Adverse Possession is the way we get new words.

Posted by: Kindltot at March 04, 2026 02:11 PM (rbvCR)

186 I just read "irregardless" is considered an actual, in the dictionary, word.

All the world's problems seem quite small compared to this atrocity
Posted by: Field Marshal Zhukov at March 04, 2026 02:10 PM (wBaIH)


Is it defined as really, really, lacking in regard?

Posted by: I used to have a different nic at March 04, 2026 02:11 PM (ExV1e)

187 174 If Trump does a tepid "endorsement" of Cornyn in exchange for the SAVE vote, Paxton might be able to weather that. Everyone will know Cornyn extorted the American people for it.

Posted by: gKWVE at March 04, 2026 02:08 PM (gKWVE)

======

Cornyn's already a co-sponsor.

It's not about his individual support.

If the SAVE act is part of this, it's to get holdouts on the process (which might include Cornyn) on board with the talking filibuster. "I'll back one of yours if you just get this thing done."

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at March 04, 2026 02:11 PM (GBKbO)

188 There were a handful of ships sunk by torpedo since WWII. Nearly all were test targets, but at least once they sunk a derelict ship adrift in the Pacific. No people on them.

It happens more often than you think. Owners just abandon an old ship and disappear.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at March 04, 2026 02:11 PM (C5K3W)

189 I just read "irregardless" is considered an actual, in the dictionary, word.
All the world's problems seem quite small compared to this atrocity
Posted by: Field Marshal Zhukov at March 04, 2026 02:10 PM (wBaIH)

Unfortunately in English, Adverse Possession is the way we get new words.
Posted by: Kindltot at March 04, 2026 02:11 PM (rbvCR)

Supposibly, yes.

Posted by: Count de Monet at March 04, 2026 02:12 PM (wVcYX)

190 I strenuously object!

Posted by: connected and litigious at March 04, 2026 02:12 PM (cS1cw)

191 BREAKING: Two-thirds of Cuba hit by electricity blackout, cause not yet known.

um... because it's Cuba and a day ending in y?

Posted by: FeatherBlade at March 04, 2026 02:12 PM (a+4eV)

192 It happens more often than you think. Owners just abandon an old ship and disappear.
Posted by: sniffybigtoe at March 04, 2026 02:11 PM (C5K3W)

I just think it's cool as hell we lit on off in anger.

Now do nukes. Come on!

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at March 04, 2026 02:12 PM (zZu0s)

193 Are any Liberian war lords? We've had those.
---
I'm your huckleberry.

Oh, I thought you said *Librarian* war lords. Sorry.

Posted by: screaming in digital at March 04, 2026 02:13 PM (fVXtb)

194 176. I wonder how many people run for office to:

1) Give themselves immunity for past misdeeds

2) Get in on a whole new industry of crime.
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel

Pennsylvania has implemented a "Ban the Box" policy (Fair Chance Hiring) for state jobs, removing criminal history questions from initial applications to focus on qualifications first Backgrounds Online.

Posted by: L - No nic, another fine day at March 04, 2026 02:13 PM (NFX2v)

195 193. Oh, I thought you said *Librarian* war lords. Sorry.
Posted by: screaming in digital

👍😂

Posted by: L - No nic, another fine day at March 04, 2026 02:14 PM (NFX2v)

196 Pennsylvania has implemented a "Ban the Box" policy (Fair Chance Hiring) for state jobs, removing criminal history questions from initial applications to focus on qualifications first Backgrounds Online.
Posted by: L - No nic, another fine day at March 04, 2026 02:13 PM (NFX2v)


I bet that improves the quality of the state income tax agency and their lottery new-hires

Posted by: Kindltot at March 04, 2026 02:15 PM (rbvCR)

197 There are very few men who would argue with a woman who actually said what she wanted for dinner.
Posted by: I used to have a different nic


Unless the guy has decided that he needs to make her feel insecure and suggests she get a salad instead of whatever she actually wanted.

Posted by: FeatherBlade at March 04, 2026 02:15 PM (a+4eV)

198 I just congratulated my neighbor. He now has more boats than the Iranian Navy.

Posted by: Diogenes at March 04, 2026 02:16 PM (2WIwB)

199 If the SAVE act is part of this, it's to get holdouts on the process (which might include Cornyn) on board with the talking filibuster. "I'll back one of yours if you just get this thing done."
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at March 04, 2026 02:11 PM (GBKbO)


And I would be fine with that. I would accept Trump's endorsement of Cornyn with humility. And I would vote for Paxton in the runoff.

Posted by: I used to have a different nic at March 04, 2026 02:16 PM (ExV1e)

200 >>>I just read "irregardless" is considered an actual, in the dictionary, word.

All the world's problems seem quite small compared to this atrocity
Posted by: Field Marshal Zhukov at March 04, 2026 02:10 PM (wBaIH)

---

Modern dictionaries have abandoned their gatekeeper role. If a word is misused enough, it joins the canon. (See also: enormity).

Posted by: SloPitch Whiffer at March 04, 2026 02:16 PM (NYInA)

201 196. I bet that improves the quality of the state income tax agency and their lottery new-hires
Posted by: Kindltot

A win for the unions!!

Posted by: L - No nic, another fine day at March 04, 2026 02:16 PM (NFX2v)

202 193. Oh, I thought you said *Librarian* war lords. Sorry.
Posted by: screaming in digital

I'm in. Eulalie Shinn and the other ladies of River City need some comeuppance.

Posted by: Marian Paroo at March 04, 2026 02:18 PM (wVcYX)

203 Modern dictionaries have abandoned their gatekeeper role. If a word is misused enough, it joins the canon. (See also: enormity).
Posted by: SloPitch Whiffer at March 04, 2026 02:16 PM (NYInA)


And we're all impacted.

Posted by: I used to have a different nic at March 04, 2026 02:18 PM (ExV1e)

204 Cornyn's already a co-sponsor.

It's not about his individual support.

If the SAVE act is part of this, it's to get holdouts on the process (which might include Cornyn) on board with the talking filibuster. "I'll back one of yours if you just get this thing done."
Posted by: TheJamesMadison
=====
I think the leverage would be Mitch and his staffers running him. Mitch and Cornyn were personal friends when Cornyn was whip and later head of Senate Campaign Fund.

Posted by: whig at March 04, 2026 02:18 PM (E4rtv)

205 Cornyn's already a co-sponsor.

It's not about his individual support.

If the SAVE act is part of this, it's to get holdouts on the process (which might include Cornyn) on board with the talking filibuster. "I'll back one of yours if you just get this thing done."
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at March 04, 2026 02:11 PM (GBKbO)
**********
I could see Trump doing this. Get the Save Act to my desk and I will endorse you.

Posted by: redridinghood at March 04, 2026 02:18 PM (NpAcC)

206 I did not vote for Donald J. Trump because I thought he'd knock out Vuvuzula, Cuba, and Iran in his 2nd terms, but Gdamn it may happen ( yes, yes, I know not to count the proverbial chickens before the hatching... )

Posted by: weft cut-loop at March 04, 2026 02:19 PM (diia5)

207 A win for the unions!!
Posted by: L - No nic, another fine day at March 04, 2026 02:16 PM (NFX2v)


For some reason SEIU is 100% behind supporting Newsom's redistricting in CA

Posted by: Kindltot at March 04, 2026 02:19 PM (rbvCR)

208 The shitstains in NY are now requiring companies that have an end user of fuel or electricity in NY to report their greenhouse gas emissions to NY. Even if they are in TX.

Stay in your lane assholes.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at March 04, 2026 02:20 PM (C5K3W)

209 very few men who would argue with a woman who actually said what she wanted for dinner.

29 years ago Internet blind date with what turned out to be a fat girl to a buffet restaurant. She kept going back to the trough. Behind her back a waiter rolled his eyes.

Posted by: Commissar of plenty and festive little hats at March 04, 2026 02:20 PM (Kt19C)

210 It just allows us to normalize our verticals across the product pipeline.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at March 04, 2026 02:20 PM (zZu0s)

211 204 I think the leverage would be Mitch and his staffers running him. Mitch and Cornyn were personal friends when Cornyn was whip and later head of Senate Campaign Fund.

Posted by: whig at March 04, 2026 02:18 PM (E4rtv)

======

The stuff I've read is resistance to the actual debate because of BS concerns about amendments.

Final amendment is all that matters.

"I'll play nice if you get past this stupid BS and just do the SAVE Act."

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, discovering British horror with Hammer Films at March 04, 2026 02:20 PM (GBKbO)

212 And we're all impacted.
Posted by: I used to have a different nic at March 04, 2026 02:18 PM (ExV1e)


Fiber. And drink more water.

Posted by: Kindltot at March 04, 2026 02:20 PM (rbvCR)

213 29 years ago Internet blind date with what turned out to be a fat girl to a buffet restaurant. She kept going back to the trough. Behind her back a waiter rolled his eyes.
Posted by: Commissar of plenty and festive little hats at March 04, 2026 02:20 PM (Kt19C)

Note that Commissar does not say it wasn't a successful date.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at March 04, 2026 02:21 PM (zZu0s)

214 202 193. Oh, I thought you said *Librarian* war lords. Sorry.
Posted by: screaming in digital

I'm in. Eulalie Shinn and the other ladies of River City need some comeuppance.
Posted by: Marian Paroo

"Count de Monet," you devil!

Thanks for the laughs. A little crabby around here for only a Tuesday.

Posted by: L - No nic, another fine day at March 04, 2026 02:21 PM (NFX2v)

215 I'm your huckleberry.

Oh, I thought you said *Librarian* war lords. Sorry.
Posted by: screaming in digital at March 04, 2026 02:13 PM


The Librarian War Lord uniform consists of long hair in a bun, nice blouse, single string of pearls, tight skirt, hose, and at least 4" heels, correct?

Lie if you must.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at March 04, 2026 02:21 PM (0sNs1)

216 And we're all impacted.
Posted by: I used to have a different nic at March 04, 2026 02:18 PM (ExV1e)

Fiber. And drink more water.
Posted by: Kindltot at March 04, 2026 02:20 PM (rbvCR)

Then work it out with a pencil.

Posted by: Accountant Jokes R Us at March 04, 2026 02:21 PM (wVcYX)

217 The Librarian War Lord uniform consists of long hair in a bun, nice blouse, single string of pearls, tight skirt, hose, and at least 4" heels, correct?

Lie if you must.
Posted by: Duncanthrax at March 04, 2026 02:21 PM (0sNs1)

You left off glasses. Gay.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at March 04, 2026 02:22 PM (zZu0s)

218 The Librarian War Lord uniform consists of long hair in a bun, nice blouse, single string of pearls, tight skirt, hose, and at least 4" heels, correct?

Lie if you must.
Posted by: Duncanthrax at March 04, 2026 02:21 PM (0sNs1)


Sadly for the men of the horde, AAA breasts.

Posted by: I used to have a different nic at March 04, 2026 02:22 PM (ExV1e)

219 Lodi is sucking pus wound in the heart of the Central Valley.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at March 04, 2026 02:22 PM (RIvkX)

220 Corkscrew and a can of beer.

Posted by: L - No nic, another fine day at March 04, 2026 02:22 PM (NFX2v)

221 It just allows us to normalize our verticals across the product pipeline.
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at March 04, 2026 02:20 PM (zZu0s)


but prevent the silos from inhibiting crosstalk which affects ultimate QA goals

Posted by: Kindltot at March 04, 2026 02:22 PM (rbvCR)

222 200 I just kicked out my windshield like I was Carlo being garroted by Clemenza.

Posted by: Field Marshal Zhukov at March 04, 2026 02:23 PM (wBaIH)

223 Lodi is sucking pus wound in the heart of the Central Valley.

I thought that honor belonged to Stockton

Posted by: Halfhand at March 04, 2026 02:23 PM (cXw3b)

224 In other news, refusals of ICE detainers that Dems claimed were being honored. GOP should campaign on the basis on 18000 Willie Hortons being released by Dems running blue states to rape, murder, and rob Americans.
=========
Today, US House commitee meeting,

Jim Jordan: "How many times last year, 2025, were your detainers not honored?"

Kristi: "17,864 detainers were DECLINED."

Posted by: whig at March 04, 2026 02:24 PM (E4rtv)

225 Dictionaries simply record word usage. They aren’t there to prescribe usage, though they may comment on what is considered proper usage.

Posted by: Bulg at March 04, 2026 02:24 PM (77rzZ)

226 Note that Commissar does not say it wasn't a successful date.

I was lucky to leave there without her eating my shoes.
She was, how you say, trigglypuffesque.

Posted by: Commissar of plenty and festive little hats at March 04, 2026 02:24 PM (Kt19C)

227 but prevent the silos from inhibiting crosstalk which affects ultimate QA goals
Posted by: Kindltot at March 04, 2026 02:22 PM (rbvCR)


Here are 15 new parallel communication channels to report the same thing. Use the ones you feel like.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at March 04, 2026 02:24 PM (zZu0s)

228 You left off glasses. Gay.
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at March 04, 2026 02:22 PM


You are correct. I thought about them initially, but apparently my fingers didn't get the message.

* kicks dirt *

Posted by: Duncanthrax at March 04, 2026 02:24 PM (0sNs1)

229 219 Lodi is sucking pus wound in the heart of the Central Valley.
Posted by: San Franpsycho
===========
John Fogerty's song sums it up. "Oh Lord, stuck in Lodi again".

Posted by: whig at March 04, 2026 02:24 PM (E4rtv)

230 I was lucky to leave there without her eating my shoes.
She was, how you say, trigglypuffesque.
Posted by: Commissar of plenty and festive little hats at March 04, 2026 02:24 PM (Kt19C)


Not all wins are equal, true.

Posted by: Kindltot at March 04, 2026 02:25 PM (rbvCR)

231 The Librarian War Lord uniform consists of long hair in a bun, nice blouse, single string of pearls, tight skirt, hose, and at least 4" heels, correct?

Lie if you must.
Posted by: Duncanthrax
---
You forgot the cardigan!

Posted by: screaming in digital at March 04, 2026 02:25 PM (fVXtb)

232 Nood. MN.

Posted by: I used to have a different nic at March 04, 2026 02:25 PM (ExV1e)

233 225 Dictionaries simply record word usage. They aren’t there to prescribe usage, though they may comment on what is considered proper usage.
Posted by: Bulg
========
Classic Blackadder III episode with Dr. Samuel Johnson comes to mind here.

Posted by: whig at March 04, 2026 02:26 PM (E4rtv)

234 The Librarian War Lord uniform consists of long hair in a bun, nice blouse, single string of pearls, tight skirt, hose, and at least 4" heels, correct?

Lie if you must.
Posted by: Duncanthrax
---
You forgot the cardigan!
Posted by: screaming in digital at March 04, 2026 02:25 PM (fVXtb)

Bailey Quarters!

Posted by: Count de Monet at March 04, 2026 02:27 PM (wVcYX)

235 "Count de Monet," you devil!

Thanks for the laughs. A little crabby around here for only a Tuesday.
Posted by: L - No nic, another fine day at March 04, 2026 02:21 PM (NFX2v)

I'm glad one landed. Thank you!

Posted by: Count de Monet at March 04, 2026 02:28 PM (wVcYX)

236 The stuff I've read is resistance to the actual debate because of BS concerns about amendments.

Final amendment is all that matters.

"I'll play nice if you get past this stupid BS and just do the SAVE Act."
Posted by: TheJamesMadison
========
Eh, I think the real issue is that cheating exists in some GOP states in primaries and the GOPe types want to preserve that ability to win close primary races.

Posted by: whig at March 04, 2026 02:28 PM (E4rtv)

237 Former Lodi City Councilman Shakir Khan was sentenced Monday to three years in county jail

Shaka Khan? Lodi? Well, I guess that's what was on his commercial trucker's license. May want to look into Lodi's elections, too.

Posted by: t-bird at March 04, 2026 02:28 PM (MJOSJ)

238 Here are 15 new parallel communication channels to report the same thing. Use the ones you feel like.
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at March 04, 2026 02:24 PM (zZu0s)


Karen Resourcé is nightmare fuel

Karen Resorcé
@hr_unhinged
Mar 2
I heard a rhythmic clatter coming from the junior dev's desk.

He was typing. Fast.

Too fast.

I approached and asked why he was attacking the keyboard with such ferocity.
He said he was "in the zone" and pushing a hotfix.
I told him that audible intensity creates a hostile acoustic environment for those of us trying to ideate.
He stopped and asked if he should type slower.
I said speed is fine, but the impact felt personal.
It sounded like he was angry at the computer.
I logged "aggressive peripheral interface" in his soft skills assessment.
Then I replaced his mechanical keyboard with a rubber membrane one from 2004.
Mushy keys build character.

Mar 2, 2026 · 9:16 PM UTC

Posted by: Kindltot at March 04, 2026 02:29 PM (rbvCR)

239 It just allows us to normalize our verticals across the product pipeline.
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at March 04, 2026 02:20 PM (zZu0s)

but prevent the silos from inhibiting crosstalk which affects ultimate QA goals
Posted by: Kindltot at March 04, 2026 02:22 PM (rbvCR)

-----------------

You got your Paradigm Shifts, Pair Programming, and Scrums in my Total Quality Management and Metric Death Marches!

Posted by: ShainS -- Algorithmic Racist, Semantic Ablationist, and Systematic Lobotomist at March 04, 2026 02:29 PM (IIPhg)

240 Then I replaced his mechanical keyboard with a rubber membrane one from 2004.
Mushy keys build character.

Mar 2, 2026 · 9:16 PM UTC
Posted by: Kindltot at March 04, 2026 02:29 PM (rbvCR)

-------------

I remember reading a newspaper article in Silicon Valley mid-80s during college while working as a computer operator.

The article was about the strains & stress of married Tech Couples leading to a high rate of divorce.

I'll never forget one of the quotes: "He was a poor peripheral and we did not interface well."

Posted by: ShainS -- Algorithmic Racist, Semantic Ablationist, and Systematic Lobotomist at March 04, 2026 02:34 PM (IIPhg)

241 I remember reading a newspaper article in Silicon Valley mid-80s during college while working as a computer operator.

The article was about the strains & stress of married Tech Couples leading to a high rate of divorce.

I'll never forget one of the quotes: "He was a poor peripheral and we did not interface well."
Posted by: ShainS


He kept trying to put Tab A into Slot C instead of where it belonged. Which was Slot B. IYKWIMAIKTYD.

Posted by: rickb223 at March 04, 2026 02:57 PM (pKr8Y)

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