Thursday Overnight Open Thread - January 29, 2026 [Doof]

The Thursday ONT is here. So are you. No instructions necessary!

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One. Two. Three??

Woman Discovers Third Breast After Giving Birth

Jasmine Mamiya, a mother of two, was shocked to learn she had developed a third breast after giving birth to her second child. While recovering in the hospital, a lactation consultant pointed out what appeared to be a nipple growing under her armpit — something Mamiya initially thought was just a skin tag.
The consultant explained that during pregnancy, it’s possible for some women to grow extra breast tissue along what’s called the “milk line” — a vertical path running from the armpits to the groin. These can sometimes form a full third breast, complete with a nipple, and even have the ability to produce milk.

Check out the whole story. There's a video clip at the link. It's less than whelming.

The NY Post story on this starts off in true Horde style:
"Jasmine Mamiya was in udder disbelief."

***

Unrelated yet somehow related

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Rule # 1 - never stick your D in crazy. What Rule number is this??

Central Florida man caught in ‘sexual performance’ with vacuum, deputies say

An Oviedo man was arrested this week after he was caught engaging in a “sexual performance” with a vacuum cleaner, according to the Osceola County Sheriff’s Office.
In a release, deputies said they responded to Grassendale Street in Kissimmee’s Windsor Hills Resort on Jan. 22 after receiving reports of a man “exposing his sexual organs in front of a residence.”
“The victims that observed this behavior provided a statement and a cell phone recording of a male, partially clothed, in front of a residence, engaged in a sexual performance with a vacuum cleaner,” the release reads.

***

Not related, yet somehow related

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Frozen waves? Kewl!

Mind blown! Frozen crashing waves at Lake Sayram, Xinjiang, ice shove phenomenon piles up turquoise ice like a frozen tsunami. Unreal beauty! ❄️ 🌊💙 🔥 pic.twitter.com/1rmmxorF85
— Trump Girl (@TrumpGirlLove) January 29, 2026

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Interesting analysis. What say you, 'Ettes?

Nailed it. Couldn't have said this any better.

She is spot on. 👇 pic.twitter.com/bl86j17JUe
— Sassafrass84 (@Sassafrass_84) January 29, 2026

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Preparations are underway for the worldwide kicky-ball event happening later this year. Los Angeles is attempting to cover up graffiti in some areas. How's that working out for them?

Taggers target 'graffiti-proof' ivy installed along 101 Freeway ahead of FIFA World Cup

With the FIFA World Cup months away, Caltrans has been spending millions of dollars to clean up trash and graffiti on local freeways, but one effort to stop street art doesn't appear to be working.
Two weeks ago, Caltrans crews installed artificial ivy on the walls of the 101 Freeway in Downtown Los Angeles to cover up and hopefully deter graffiti. But, taggers have already left their mark.
To cover up the graffiti, Caltrans crews are installing artificial ivy on the walls. There are mixed opinions on whether or not it's a good idea.

Contained in the story is an example of California ridiculousness.

Due to a mural and related agreements at this location and several walls along U.S. 101 in downtown Los Angeles, Caltrans is not legally allowed to paint over or remove graffiti.

I can't wait to not watch the World Cup this year.

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No clue if the top half of this is a real avatar used by Alex Pretti. Too funny for me to care if it's not!

Earworm status - activated. Click away!

***

DJ Doof - Guess The Theme

Another easy one tonight. Difficulty level 1 out of 5

What's the common thread / common meaning / common leitmotif?

***

Tonight's ONT brought to you by doing stuff because you can

Could the mystery click be anything else?

***

Doof Enterprises, LLC is the legitimate owner of tonight's content. Receipts available upon request.

Your feedback may or may not be very important to Doof Enterprises. Follow Mr. Doof on X @doof2112 or do the email thing – doof2112 at proton dot me.

Posted by: Open Blogger at 10:04 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 YOKO for the 21st Century

https://tinyurl.com/yrzzmwzj
Posted by: Kindltot

Posted by: mindful webworker - that was zen, this is tao at January 29, 2026 10:04 PM (nO/+E)

2 not 1

Posted by: Drink Like Vikings at January 29, 2026 10:04 PM (VDuAa)

3 Hello, Ho4de! 😊♥️

Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, Texas, AoSHQ's Plucky Wee One - Eat the Cheesecake, Buy the Yarn. at January 29, 2026 10:04 PM (SRRAx)

4 Yay, ONT!

Posted by: Blanco Basura - Z28.310 at January 29, 2026 10:04 PM (lUFok)

5 Dang it. C&P error. That was supposed to be

“Don’t worry if people think you’re crazy. You are crazy. You have that kind of intoxicating insanity that lets other people dream outside of the lines and become who they’re destined to be.”
― Jennifer Elisabeth

Posted by: mindful webworker - no do-overs on this blog at January 29, 2026 10:05 PM (nO/+E)

6 Your message has been rejected because it looks like spam. If you aren't a spammer, please try changing the text of your message.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at January 29, 2026 10:05 PM (jYat7)

7 Slicing up a pie like that almost seems like a disproof of free will. Because anyone who could do otherwise would.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at January 29, 2026 10:05 PM (y+qgR)

8 Good evening good people.

Posted by: Tonypete at January 29, 2026 10:06 PM (cYBz/)

9 And a thank-you to Pixy for closing my bold for me.

*thumbs in ears, waggles fingers, sticks tongue out at barrel*

Posted by: mindful webworker - oh, well at January 29, 2026 10:06 PM (nO/+E)

10 Can I get a little help here on how to react to this thing?

Posted by: OrangeEnt at January 29, 2026 10:06 PM (uQesX)

11 I LOVE the ONT thread!

BUT, it should start at 8:30 central time. It's already 10 pm eastern at the current start time. That doesn't mean the east coast doesn't participate, but they can't hang around as long.

I LOVE the ONT thread, but can we please consider starting it a little earlier?

Posted by: Crusader at January 29, 2026 10:07 PM (Cjcf6)

12 I am fascinated by what is deemed interesting and content worthy.

Posted by: Piper at January 29, 2026 10:07 PM (p4NUW)

13
This is my country Land of my birth,, This is my country Grandest on earth. I pledge thee my allegiance, America the bold. For this is my country, To have and to hold

With hand upon my heart, I thank the Lord
For this, my native land
For all I love is here within her gates
My soul is rooted deeply in the soil on which I stand
For these are mine, my own United States

This is my country Land of my choice
This is my country Hеar my proud voice
I pledge thee my allеgiance America the bold
For this is my country, America (It's my country), America (It's my country)
My America to have and to hold

God bless America, land that I love
Stand beside her and guide her
Through the night with a light from above
From the mountains to the prairies
To the oceans white with foam
God bless America, my home sweet home
God bless America, my home sweet home

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at January 29, 2026 10:08 PM (jYat7)

14 Birch!

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at January 29, 2026 10:09 PM (+HNx/)

15 Last Cigarette. Haven't heard that one in years. Never knew the name of the band.

Posted by: BarelyScaryMary at January 29, 2026 10:09 PM (lpTXP)

16 Welcome to the First Church of Appliantology.

Posted by: Three Angry Irish Inches at January 29, 2026 10:09 PM (V3mlt)

17 Central Florida man caught in ‘sexual performance’ with vacuum, deputies say
---
There were a couple of episodes of Archer that implied Sterling Archer tried this when he was a boy.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at January 29, 2026 10:09 PM (ESVrU)

18 11 I LOVE the ONT thread!

BUT, it should start at 8:30 central time. It's already 10 pm eastern at the current start time. That doesn't mean the east coast doesn't participate, but they can't hang around as long.

I LOVE the ONT thread, but can we please consider starting it a little earlier?
Posted by: Crusader at January 29

I second this motion. I know I am central, but I get up at a stupid time, so I go to bed at a stupid time. I get a short window in which to see what is up with the horde peeps.

Posted by: Piper at January 29, 2026 10:09 PM (p4NUW)

19 I LOVE the ONT thread, but can we please consider starting it a little earlier?
Posted by: Crusader at January 29, 2026 10:07 PM (Cjcf6)

What do you mean? It's only seven pm.

Posted by: OrangeEnt at January 29, 2026 10:09 PM (uQesX)

20 12 I am fascinated by what is deemed interesting and content worthy.

Posted by: Piper at January 29, 2026 10:07 PM
***
Same here.

Posted by: Pittsburgh Scanner at January 29, 2026 10:09 PM (IQ6Gq)

21
What difference would 30 minutes make?

Posted by: fourseasons at January 29, 2026 10:09 PM (3ek7K)

22 Interesting analysis.

Needs more birdhands.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at January 29, 2026 10:10 PM (y+qgR)

23 >>I LOVE the ONT thread, but can we please consider starting it a little earlier?
Posted by: Crusader
------

Wellllll... You could move a bit West, ya know...

Posted by: JQ at January 29, 2026 10:10 PM (rdVOm)

24 I always liked Joe Walsh, but never liked the Eagles.

Posted by: Walk Away at January 29, 2026 10:10 PM (oftw2)

25 For Doof given tonight's theme:

https://tinyurl.com/33cwrj48

Posted by: Crusader at January 29, 2026 10:10 PM (Cjcf6)

26 Need your boys to bring home this win Doof ...

Wings need to lose !!!

Posted by: browndog nose in the snow at January 29, 2026 10:10 PM (3sXRv)

27 Good evening Horde. Thanks Doof!

Posted by: TRex - don't paint over my mural at January 29, 2026 10:11 PM (IQ6Gq)

28 Brewer and Shipley's cut was okay as far as it goes, but for true virtuosity, one needs to view the Lawrence Welk version:

https://t.ly/GsoIT

Posted by: Tonypete at January 29, 2026 10:11 PM (cYBz/)

29 Francisco Scaramanga had a third nipple too.

Posted by: Kindltot at January 29, 2026 10:11 PM (rbvCR)

30 Two boobs is well-nigh perfect.

Three boobs?

Could we please go back to two boobs please?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at January 29, 2026 10:11 PM (+HNx/)

31 Mornin'

Posted by: Puddleglum at work at January 29, 2026 10:11 PM (xA5g+)

32 or

Evenin'

I work mids in an office with no windows. Could be morning or evening.

Posted by: Puddleglum at work at January 29, 2026 10:12 PM (xA5g+)

33
TRex,

Your IQ is 6? Are you Somali, lol.

Posted by: fourseasons at January 29, 2026 10:12 PM (3ek7K)

34 What difference would 30 minutes make?

Posted by: fourseasons

Show off!!

Posted by: Tonypete at January 29, 2026 10:12 PM (cYBz/)

35 I am fascinated by what is deemed interesting and content worthy.
Posted by: Piper at January 29, 2026 10:07 PM (p4NUW)

Should I be offended by that?

Posted by: Doof at January 29, 2026 10:13 PM (QMAsf)

36 Francisco Scaramanga had a third nipple too.
Posted by: Kindltot at January 29, 2026 10:11 PM (rbvCR)
---
So does Krusty the Clown...

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at January 29, 2026 10:13 PM (ESVrU)

37 Three boobs?

Could we please go back to two boobs please?
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at January 29, 2026 10:11 PM (+HNx/)

I don't know man. One for each hand and mouth. Seems like natural selection is at work. Or maybe seeing Total Recall as a boy rewired my brain.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at January 29, 2026 10:13 PM (y+qgR)

38 I have a Dyson Shark, but prefer the good, old Electrolux.

Posted by: Suck-Sess at January 29, 2026 10:13 PM (oftw2)

39 Is it like rain on your wedding day?

Thanks for the ONT.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at January 29, 2026 10:13 PM (zZu0s)

40 ... are you f'n kidding me.

Doof ... DOOOFFFFF !!!

Every Atlantic conference team is in place to win tonight

Posted by: browndog nose in the snow at January 29, 2026 10:13 PM (3sXRv)

41 What difference would 30 minutes make?
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Its not just 30 minutes at the start, which is also a thing because there are people *sitting* on posts reading the Cafe because they know the ONT is coming. Its also about the east coast and central time people who are eventually checking out because they have to go to bed. 30 minutes earlier means they're around and reading and posting for 30 minutes longer.

Posted by: Crusader at January 29, 2026 10:14 PM (Cjcf6)

42 36 Francisco Scaramanga had a third nipple too.
Posted by: Kindltot at January 29, 2026 10:11 PM (rbvCR)

-----------

But could he do the fandango?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at January 29, 2026 10:14 PM (+HNx/)

43 For Doof given tonight's theme:

https://tinyurl.com/33cwrj48
Posted by: Crusader at January 29, 2026 10:10 PM (Cjcf6)

Nice. Forgot about that one.

Posted by: Doof at January 29, 2026 10:14 PM (QMAsf)

44 YOKO for the 21st Century

https://tinyurl.com/yrzzmwzj
Posted by: Kindltot
Posted by: mindful webworker - that was zen, this is tao at January 29, 2026 10:04 PM (nO/+E)

Yes, but will she love me long time?

Posted by: Idaho Spudboy at January 29, 2026 10:14 PM (GjEvj)

45 Top photo is nice, but it's too warm here for white birches to grow.

Posted by: Gentleman of the South at January 29, 2026 10:14 PM (oftw2)

46 ... are you f'n kidding me.

Doof ... DOOOFFFFF !!!

Every Atlantic conference team is in place to win tonight
Posted by: browndog nose in the snow at January 29, 2026 10:13 PM (3sXRv)

Sorry. I was a healthy scratch tonight.

Posted by: Doof at January 29, 2026 10:15 PM (QMAsf)

47 a “sexual performance” with a vacuum cleaner

Presumably the canister-hose type and not an upright-beater type.
😱

Or a Roomba.

Posted by: mindful webworker - oh, well at January 29, 2026 10:15 PM (nO/+E)

48 33 TRex,

Your IQ is 6?

Posted by: fourseasons at January 29, 2026 10:12 PM
***
Small brain, short arms, juvenile humor. That about covers it.

Posted by: TRex - kicky ball color commentator at January 29, 2026 10:15 PM (IQ6Gq)

49 Some tagger all ready sprayed graffiti on the astro-ivy.

Ridley Scott was so wrong about 2019 L.A.

Posted by: 13times at January 29, 2026 10:16 PM (CULe9)

50
Sassafrass84

Everyone should see it.
Destroy the family and this is what you get.
Go commies.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at January 29, 2026 10:16 PM (jYat7)

51 Well thanks for that. I will do my upmost to forget I ever heard about the “milk line”… ( shudder )

Posted by: banana Dream at January 29, 2026 10:16 PM (FzMmE)

52 35 I am fascinated by what is deemed interesting and content worthy.
Posted by: Piper at January 29, 2026 10:07 PM (p4NUW)

Should I be offended by that?
Posted by: Doof at January 29, 2026 10

No! It’s really fascinating. If I had something ugly to say for real, I would just text you. 😂

Posted by: Piper at January 29, 2026 10:16 PM (p4NUW)

53 Good evening Horde. Thanks Doof!
Posted by: TRex - don't paint over my mural at January 29, 2026 10:11 PM (IQ6Gq)

Howdy, Dino!

Posted by: Doof at January 29, 2026 10:17 PM (QMAsf)

54 Maybe we can convince liberal chicks that arabs need them.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at January 29, 2026 10:17 PM (snZF9)

55 Evening all.

We have yet another launch tonight. The time has already changed twice, so may or may not change again.

SpaceX - Falcon 9 - Starlink 6-10
SLC-40 - Cape Canaveral SFS - Space Affairs Live
Launch Date: January 30, 2026
Launch Time: 2:22 a.m. EST (0722 UTC, 08:22 CET)

https://youtu.be/o-lY54XUxaw

Posted by: Joyenz at January 29, 2026 10:17 PM (2F0/Y)

56 Ridley Scott was so wrong about 2019 L.A.
Posted by: 13times at January 29, 2026 10:16 PM (CULe9)

Not exactly Neon, Noir and rain, is it?

Ashes, poop and graft.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at January 29, 2026 10:18 PM (zZu0s)

57 *punches timeclock*
Meow

Posted by: Lurking Cheshirecat at January 29, 2026 10:18 PM (w3u3d)

58 54 Maybe we can convince liberal chicks that arabs need them.
Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at January 29, 2026 10:17 PM (snZF9)

--------

This is my block, pimp!

Posted by: A Goat at January 29, 2026 10:18 PM (+HNx/)

59 Mr. Doof, sir! Thanks for the Thursday Night ONT!

Great photo up top. Reminds me of scenes from my childhood.

Posted by: Legally Sufficient at January 29, 2026 10:18 PM (kB9dk)

60 Should I be offended by that?
Posted by: Doof at January 29, 2026 10

No! It’s really fascinating. If I had something ugly to say for real, I would just text you. 😂
Posted by: Piper at January 29, 2026 10:16 PM (p4NUW)

HA! Honestly though - do you ever really say anything ugly? I don't think I've ever witnessed that.

Posted by: Doof at January 29, 2026 10:18 PM (QMAsf)

61 As others have noted, the greatest irony in Alannis's "Ironic" is that none of the example she sings about are actually ironic.

Posted by: mindful webworker - isn't that Moronic doncha think at January 29, 2026 10:19 PM (nO/+E)

62 Its a free ride when you've already paid.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at January 29, 2026 10:19 PM (zZu0s)

63 54 Maybe we can convince liberal chicks that arabs need them.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at January 29, 2026 10:17 PM (snZF9)

I could fix 'em if my back weren't broken.

Posted by: Zombie Rachel Corrie at January 29, 2026 10:20 PM (lpTXP)

64 Its the good advice you just can't take.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at January 29, 2026 10:20 PM (zZu0s)

65 Mr. Doof, sir! Thanks for the Thursday Night ONT!

Great photo up top. Reminds me of scenes from my childhood.
Posted by: Legally Sufficient at January 29, 2026 10:18 PM (kB9dk)

You're welcome. Thank you for your consistent pleasantness!

Posted by: Doof at January 29, 2026 10:20 PM (QMAsf)

66 kd lang would like a word with you.

https://youtu.be/7Uxx8DshRE8

Posted by: Idaho Spudboy at January 29, 2026 10:20 PM (GjEvj)

67 What's the common thread / common meaning / common leitmotif?

All three songs touch on the futility of man's existence, mocking the mere thought of aspiring to achieve something greater than mere, existential, being.

Or smoking. If I were to abandon all rational analysis in favor of a wild-haired guess, I'd say smoking...

Posted by: Joe Kidd at January 29, 2026 10:20 PM (nbLIj)

68 Its like meeting the man of my dreams and then meeting his beautiful wife.

Posted by: Miss Lindsey at January 29, 2026 10:20 PM (zZu0s)

69
Alanis Morissette - seen the name before - she's as pathetic as Pretti. Scotty, beam me up.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at January 29, 2026 10:20 PM (jYat7)

70 61 As others have noted, the greatest irony in Alannis's "Ironic" is that none of the example she sings about are actually ironic.
Posted by: mindful webworker - isn't that Moronic doncha think at January 29, 2026 10:19 PM (nO/+E

"Isn't it ironic, don't you think?"

I certainly don't, you unlettered cretin.

Posted by: Charles Emerson Winchester, III at January 29, 2026 10:21 PM (y+qgR)

71 I hate my brain.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at January 29, 2026 10:21 PM (zZu0s)

72 There were a couple of episodes of Archer that implied Sterling Archer tried this when he was a boy.
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at January 29, 2026 10:09 PM (ESVrU)

Knew a guy who would do inspections of repossessed houses, and said one house had a whole section of the wall of one bedroom sawn open, and the wiring, and whole-house vacuum system laid open and needing patching and repair.
He looked up incident reports in the neighborhood and found the EMTs had been summoned at one point to the address to release the young gentleman of the house from having his tally-whacker stuck in the vacuum system for some reason.

Posted by: Kindltot at January 29, 2026 10:21 PM (rbvCR)

73 I LOVE the ONT thread, but can we please consider starting it a little earlier?
Posted by: Crusader
---
This is earlier than it used to be. Years ago it used to be close to an hour or so later and never at the same time every night. Talk about staying up past your bedtime. Of course we were all much younger then...

Posted by: lin-duh is offended at January 29, 2026 10:22 PM (VCgbV)

74 Plus it meant more to be first. Once it got on a schedule people just spawn camped.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at January 29, 2026 10:23 PM (zZu0s)

75 Yes, but will she love me long time?
Posted by: Idaho Spudboy at January 29, 2026 10:14 PM (GjEvj)

There is no filter in real life.

Posted by: Kindltot at January 29, 2026 10:23 PM (rbvCR)

76
I read what I can before I fall asleep, finish reading in the morning.

Posted by: fourseasons at January 29, 2026 10:23 PM (3ek7K)

77 . . . and found the EMTs had been summoned at one point to the address to release the young gentleman of the house from having his tally-whacker stuck in the vacuum system for some reason.
Posted by: Kindltot

Honestly, that's taking the 'Pipe is pipe' theory way too far.

Posted by: Tonypete at January 29, 2026 10:23 PM (cYBz/)

78 a nipple growing under her armpit

I assume no one has seen David Cronenberg's "Rabid" because that's how all this started.

Hat tip: don't base your life choices on David Cronenberg films, the Oscars are way later.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at January 29, 2026 10:23 PM (CHHv1)

79 2 not 1
Posted by: Drink Like Vikings at January 29, 2026 10:04 PM (VDuAa)

No no, not the one...

Posted by: Zathras at January 29, 2026 10:23 PM (mP0Kj)

80 He looked up incident reports in the neighborhood and found the EMTs had been summoned at one point to the address to release the young gentleman of the house from having his tally-whacker stuck in the vacuum system for some reason.
Posted by: Kindltot at January 29, 2026 10:21 PM (rbvCR)
---
"A million-to-one shot, Doc! A million-to-one shot!"

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at January 29, 2026 10:23 PM (ESVrU)

81 the Lawrence Welk version:
https://t.ly/GsoIT
Posted by: Tonypete

Thank you. I wasn't going to link that, againagainagain.

Posted by: mindful webworker - sweet Jesus at January 29, 2026 10:23 PM (nO/+E)

82 Posted this before, but this is the type of 'foot soldier' the Left loves.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E36G9QOolxk

Stalking a neighborhood for eight hours dressed like a UPS driver. Deputies bust her and proceed to find she has a weapon, drugs, ammunition, and is a convicted felon.

And as the deputies inform her, "this ain't Seattle."

Posted by: Anna Puma at January 29, 2026 10:23 PM (2GVsD)

83 I think back in the day as well ace was not as regimented. Threads could go longer than an hour.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at January 29, 2026 10:24 PM (zZu0s)

84 This is earlier than it used to be. Years ago it used to be close to an hour or so later and never at the same time every night. Talk about staying up past your bedtime. Of course we were all much younger then...
Posted by: lin-duh is offended at January 29, 2026 10:22 PM (VCgbV)

Well, it is a bit funny to see the ONT posted when the sun's still up for over an hour.

Posted by: OrangeEnt at January 29, 2026 10:24 PM (uQesX)

85 77 . . . and found the EMTs had been summoned at one point to the address to release the young gentleman of the house from having his tally-whacker stuck in the vacuum system for some reason.
Posted by: Kindltot

Honestly, that's taking the 'Pipe is pipe' theory way too far.
Posted by: Tonypete at January 29, 2026 10:23 PM (cYBz/)

he heard that model sucked...

Posted by: Romeo13 at January 29, 2026 10:24 PM (mP0Kj)

86 Nice Doof, I'm glad the lady's theory re displacement of maternal instinct is getting some love. I'm skeptical of analysis telling me what I want to hear, it's rarely that simple, but she seems to nail it.

Did I ever mention the wife and I ran a DDO Guild named DoofenSmirtz Evil Incorporated? Our characters were Doof and Smirtz, although I forget who played which.

Posted by: Fen at January 29, 2026 10:24 PM (ciYHQ)

87 How is everyone tonight? I hope you're all having a great pre-Friday. I hope so because, as the best people everywhere at anytime, you merit wonderfulness.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at January 29, 2026 10:25 PM (CHHv1)

88 Doof, regarding the music quiz:

https://tinyurl.com/3dk6fu77

Posted by: Nerd Herd at January 29, 2026 10:25 PM (NZPfR)

89 The guy with the vacuum cleaner was hoping to get his 15 minutes of fame with the TLC show "Sex sent me to the ER."

Posted by: Anna Puma at January 29, 2026 10:26 PM (2GVsD)

90 Piper,
What do you think about Pilates as a low impact exercise? Is it a good option for someone with bad knees and wrists?

Posted by: lin-duh is offended at January 29, 2026 10:26 PM (VCgbV)

91
BeckoningChasm,

I'm sure Robert the Cat is enjoying wonderfulness, lol.

Posted by: fourseasons at January 29, 2026 10:26 PM (3ek7K)

92 60 Should I be offended by that?
Posted by: Doof at January 29, 2026 10

No! It’s really fascinating. If I had something ugly to say for real, I would just text you. 😂
Posted by: Piper at January 29, 2026 10:16 PM (p4NUW)

HA! Honestly though - do you ever really say anything ugly? I don't think I've ever witnessed that.
Posted by: Doof at January 29, 2026

I actually told you something I said that was ugly and you agreed it was!I can’t remember what it was now, though.

Posted by: Piper at January 29, 2026 10:26 PM (p4NUW)

93 18 11 I LOVE the ONT thread!

BUT, it should start at 8:30 central time. It's already 10 pm eastern at the current start time. That doesn't mean the east coast doesn't participate, but they can't hang around as long.

I LOVE the ONT thread, but can we please consider starting it a little earlier?
Posted by: Crusader at January 29

I second this motion. I know I am central, but I get up at a stupid time, so I go to bed at a stupid time. I get a short window in which to see what is up with the horde peeps.
Posted by: Piper
----

Aye

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at January 29, 2026 10:27 PM (LxeG3)

94 Did I ever mention the wife and I ran a DDO Guild named DoofenSmirtz Evil Incorporated? Our characters were Doof and Smirtz, although I forget who played which.
Posted by: Fen at January 29, 2026 10:24 PM (ciYHQ)

Please tell me you live in a tri-state area. Lie if you must!

BTW - my nic pre-dates Phineas and Ferb.

Posted by: Doof at January 29, 2026 10:27 PM (QMAsf)

95 CAPS WIN ...

***barely***

Posted by: browndog nose in the snow at January 29, 2026 10:28 PM (3sXRv)

96 I still find it hard to believe the casualty rates for the Ukraine thing. There is bullshit affoot. 2 Million?

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at January 29, 2026 10:28 PM (zZu0s)

97 DJ Doof - Guess The Theme
Another easy one tonight. Difficulty level 1 out of 5

They're all about lovemaking. Before, during, and after.

Posted by: Wm. J. Clinton at January 29, 2026 10:28 PM (VHUov)

98 What do you think about Pilates as a low impact exercise? Is it a good option for someone with bad knees and wrists?
Posted by: lin-duh is offended at January 29, 2026 10:26 PM (VCgbV)

Low impact? Do you know how hard the soldiers pound those nails?

Posted by: Pontius at January 29, 2026 10:28 PM (uQesX)

99 Dude shoulda got a job as a door to door vacuum salesman. Do what you love.

Posted by: banana Dream at January 29, 2026 10:28 PM (FzMmE)

100 Sister of man shot by Border Patrol says he’s no victim, calls him violent
KOLD NEWS 13
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gTWf7-e9voU

Posted by: BetaCuck4Lyfe at January 29, 2026 10:28 PM (9aVck)

101 I have a Dyson Shark, but prefer the good, old Electrolux.

Posted by: Suck-Sess at January 29, 2026 10:13 PM (oftw2)

I don't want to live in a country where a man cannot properly love his Oreck.

Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at January 29, 2026 10:28 PM (dK+Kv)

102 The flip side is folks closer to the left coast, the Tech thread starts too early.

As has oft been noted, early Tech thread participation has not met expectations, this is particularly egregious considering you eastern denizens presumably have had your beauty rest.

Posted by: Common Tater at January 29, 2026 10:28 PM (P55mL)

103 TJM's right about "The Apartment," it's Billy Wilder's best film. I mention that because of all the beers.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at January 29, 2026 10:28 PM (CHHv1)

104 Great ONT, Doof. Gorgeous snow picture makes me sad. I want what everyone else has, called: winter. Vs cold with no snow. Life goes on. Next winter better be an improvement. I continue to pray for snow/rain and have hope.

I LOVE GLENN FREY.

Agree totally with the conservative woman in that the wacko liberal pierced women are latching on to something. To belong. I like the nitwit who said Good was shot because! she was a lesbo! No, not quite, try again!

I think many lesbos and liberal, pierced, green-haired women with pronouns simply never had a guy look at them or like them. Or sex. But I don't waste a lot of time worrying about them and wish they'd go away instead and be quiet without screams and whistles.

Doof, even I get the song connection as it is totally for the short bus, honey. And I am about ready for it with the lack of snow everyone else seems to have.

I don't cut pizza like a psycho, but I can't open resealable bags or boxes to save my life. My husband says it looks like a chimp on acid opens them. I don't care. Sometimes I try harder and sometimes I don't. I'm not perfect...but pretty dang close.

Posted by: ChristyBlinkyTheGreat at January 29, 2026 10:28 PM (WONhk)

105 Doof, regarding the music quiz:

https://tinyurl.com/3dk6fu77
Posted by: Nerd Herd at January 29, 2026 10:25 PM (NZPfR)

Good one. Would have fit!

Posted by: Doof at January 29, 2026 10:29 PM (QMAsf)

106 "Sex sent me to the ER."
Posted by: Anna Puma

touch me baby, tainted -

Posted by: gKWVE at January 29, 2026 10:29 PM (gKWVE)

107 That boob line is Indian sculpted.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at January 29, 2026 10:29 PM (LxeG3)

108 Dude shoulda got a job as a door to door vacuum salesman. Do what you love.

Posted by: banana Dream at January 29, 2026 10:28 PM (FzMmE)

I am pretty sure that he WAS doing what he loved.

Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at January 29, 2026 10:30 PM (dK+Kv)

109 Smoking in the boys room, Doof?

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Buy ammo at January 29, 2026 10:30 PM (xcxpd)

110
ChristyBlinky,

Husband and I have so much trouble opening stuff. He thinks it due to the high altitude here. It's annoying as hell.

Posted by: fourseasons at January 29, 2026 10:31 PM (3ek7K)

111 LOL we really are 29 - asking for an earlier start.

Not that I disagree - just feeling old.

Do we have to eat dinner at 4pm if the ONT is earlier?

Posted by: Iris at January 29, 2026 10:31 PM (bOJ2I)

112 Listen, pizza sliced anyway is still pizza and is good.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at January 29, 2026 10:31 PM (XV/Pl)

113 ***raises hand sheepishly***

I have had - ever since I can remember - a tiny purple bump under one of my mammary glands. Never thought anything of it - seriously, it is hardly noticeable - until my OB/GYN told me what it was (a tertiary nipple) when I was in my 20's.

And yes, it did produce a drop or two of milk after delivery, but I never had much of that to begin with.

NO NEW NICKNAMES, YOU MISCREANTS!

Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, Texas, AoSHQ's Plucky Wee One - Eat the Cheesecake, Buy the Yarn. at January 29, 2026 10:31 PM (SRRAx)

114 As others have noted, the greatest irony in Alannis's "Ironic" is that none of the example she sings about are actually ironic.
----

The gal I was with at the time had a lot of faults, but I still remember her pointing out "Those are just coincidences."

Posted by: Crusader at January 29, 2026 10:32 PM (Cjcf6)

115 90 Piper,
What do you think about Pilates as a low impact exercise? Is it a good option for someone with bad knees and wrists?
Posted by: lin-duh is offended at January 29, 2026

Yes! Like anything, you can go up in levels in Pilates where it can get more strenuous. But anything low impact would be good, what I teach is low impact, and I help people modify for bad knees and injuries all the time.

Posted by: Piper at January 29, 2026 10:32 PM (p4NUW)

116 Do we have to eat dinner at 4pm if the ONT is earlier?

Posted by: Iris at January 29, 2026 10:31 PM (bOJ2I)

Not necessarily, but if you want the Early Bird Dinner special, it's a good idea.

Posted by: Zombie Rachel Corrie at January 29, 2026 10:32 PM (lpTXP)

117 Listen, pizza sliced anyway is still pizza and is good.

Unless it is gas station pizza.. and sushi.

Posted by: Anna Puma at January 29, 2026 10:32 PM (2GVsD)

118 Pretti was an idiot.
But if the mayor had his police doing their jobs, when Pretti had his altercation with the feds the week before, he'd of been arrested, and he'd probably be alive today.

Posted by: Diogenes at January 29, 2026 10:32 PM (2WIwB)

119 Honestly though - do you ever really say anything ugly? I don't think I've ever witnessed that.
Posted by: Doof at January 29, 2026 10:18 PM (QMAsf)

I'm sure there's a line of commenters waiting to say something ugly if ugly's what you need. All you have to do is ask. Then run.

Posted by: RickZ at January 29, 2026 10:32 PM (gKDq2)

120 My favorite photo (here probably) similar to the schizo pizza cutting, is a perfect pie wedge carefully retrieved from the center of a pie, screwing up the whole pie, guaranteed to raise a ruckus. I only wish I would have thought of it.

Posted by: Common Tater at January 29, 2026 10:34 PM (P55mL)

121 It's a beautiful Thursday. All the 'rons are strong and capable and wise, and all the 'ettes are beautiful, alluring and smart. What could be better?

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at January 29, 2026 10:34 PM (CHHv1)

122 118 Pretti was an idiot.
But if the mayor had his police doing their jobs, when Pretti had his altercation with the feds the week before, he'd of been arrested, and he'd probably be alive today.
Posted by: Diogenes at January 29, 2026 10:32 PM (2WIwB)

We have to remember though: there are downsides to the local police not doing their jobs too.

Posted by: Charles Emerson Winchester, III at January 29, 2026 10:34 PM (y+qgR)

123 Could we please go back to two boobs please?
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at January 29, 2026 10:11 PM (+HNx/)

Seconded. Three boobs is like leaving an extra chair open at an intimate dinner date. Something wicked this way comes almost always. Why tempt fate?

Posted by: Fen at January 29, 2026 10:34 PM (ciYHQ)

124
BeckoningChasm,

More money??

Posted by: fourseasons at January 29, 2026 10:35 PM (3ek7K)

125 Third boob?

Where's Raimondo?

Posted by: Anna Puma at January 29, 2026 10:35 PM (2GVsD)

126 I don't cut pizza like a psycho . . . .

Posted by: ChristyBlinkyTheGreat at January 29, 2026 10:28 PM (WONhk)

I cut it like it owes me money. Pour encourager lasagna.

Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at January 29, 2026 10:35 PM (dK+Kv)

127 Get off me effete Chuck sock!

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at January 29, 2026 10:35 PM (y+qgR)

128 Staying home saves lives.
🤣🤣🤣🤣

Posted by: Really?? at January 29, 2026 10:35 PM (PHOGh)

129 I actually told you something I said that was ugly and you agreed it was!I can’t remember what it was now, though.
Posted by: Piper at January 29, 2026 10:26 PM (p4NUW)

I actually remember what you're referring to. But it was kinda mild by Horde standards!

Posted by: Doof at January 29, 2026 10:35 PM (QMAsf)

130 NO NEW NICKNAMES, YOU MISCREANTS!
Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth

uh. find someone with three hands?

Posted by: gKWVE at January 29, 2026 10:36 PM (gKWVE)

131 hoe_math has a new video, about 20 minutes long, that explains the modern liberal woman in much the same way as the video above, but with charts, drawings, and biting sarcasm.

Posted by: PabloD at January 29, 2026 10:37 PM (3VXNH)

132 Pretti was an idiot.
But if the mayor had his police doing their jobs, when Pretti had his altercation with the feds the week before, he'd of been arrested, and he'd probably be alive today.

Posted by: Diogenes at January 29, 2026 10:32 PM (2WIwB)

Kind of on-topic, but Seattle just got hit with a $30M wrongful death verdict for that idiot that got shot trying to steal a jeep in CHAZ/CHOP during BLM.

Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at January 29, 2026 10:37 PM (dK+Kv)

133 But if the mayor had his police doing their jobs, when Pretti had his altercation with the feds the week before, he'd of been arrested, and he'd probably be alive today.
——-

It’s worse than that. If the locals would honor ICE detainer requests the transfers would be performed at the courthouse or jail, in a secure location.

There wouldn’t be any “altercations” because federal agents wouldn’t have to operate on public roads, public spaces in the first place.

Posted by: Common Tater at January 29, 2026 10:37 PM (P55mL)

134 Two wonderful animal articles today.

Shelter holds ceremony for stray cat who survived coyote attack
https://mol.im/a/15509193

Brave moment howling puppy is saved from icy waters in Missouri
https://mol.im/a/15509729

Posted by: Joyenz at January 29, 2026 10:37 PM (2F0/Y)

135 Smoking in the boys room, Doof?
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, Buy ammo at January 29, 2026 10:30 PM (xcxpd)

Thought about that one but One Toke Over The Line got the nod over it.

Posted by: Doof at January 29, 2026 10:38 PM (QMAsf)

136 I am off to bed, friends. I love the picture, Doof. My classes tomorrow are balance and strength, normally a chill class. it’s plank heavy, though. Fun!

Posted by: Piper at January 29, 2026 10:38 PM (p4NUW)

137 What's the common thread / common meaning / common leitmotif?

Smoke, smoke, smoke that cigarette......

Posted by: From about That Time at January 29, 2026 10:38 PM (sl73Y)

138 Two boobs is well-nigh perfect.

Three boobs?

Could we please go back to two boobs please?

Agree, but I'd give it an honest interview.

Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at January 29, 2026 10:38 PM (dK+Kv)

139 The socialist mayor of Seattle announced she will spend $4M tax dollars to fight ice.

Good and hard Seattle, good and hard.

Posted by: Really?? at January 29, 2026 10:38 PM (PHOGh)

140 I think hoe_math/ itishoemath got permabanned from Twitter.
He was getting very angry over there.

Posted by: gKWVE at January 29, 2026 10:38 PM (gKWVE)

141 I have had - ever since I can remember - a tiny purple bump under one of my mammary glands. Never thought anything of it - seriously, it is hardly noticeable - until my OB/GYN told me what it was (a tertiary nipple) when I was in my 20's.

NO NEW NICKNAMES, YOU MISCREANTS!
Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth

There's a 50/50 chance that "Lefty" works.

Posted by: Wm. J. Clinton (sock still applies) at January 29, 2026 10:38 PM (VHUov)

142 Still not sure if I got Lil Pooky's stomach bug or not. This morning he was a bit tired and whiny, but after his nap, he was convinced he could go full steam ahead. He thought we were starving him by giving him a little bit of food at a time to see if he could handle it. Boys are a black hole for food, I swear!

Posted by: pookysgirl, constantly restocking the pantry at January 29, 2026 10:39 PM (Wt5PA)

143 Seattle just got hit with a $30M wrongful death verdict for that idiot that got shot
——-

“Seattle” didn’t, the beleaguered taxpayers did though.

The victims in all this, to add insult to injury. Float another bond issue, throw it on the pile with the rest of ‘em.

Posted by: Common Tater at January 29, 2026 10:39 PM (P55mL)

144 The vaccum story triggered a memory.

My husband had a co-worker with a fetish. Which we found out later after he fled for: Texas! hahahaha!

He hung out in the library and it turned him on to stick it in the books. An innocent woman would pull out a book, either a book of Elizabethan poems or 40 Shades of Grey, and THERE HE WAS! from the other side of the row of books!

When my husband told me this I cracked up laughing and said if it happened to me I'd whack that thing with the book as I yelled. He was a nerdy type, by the way. No one would look at him and scream pervert.

The same library, I think, I went to on my lunch break from the med center. I quit using the loo when a homeless wacko woman shot out of a stall and screamed at me to get out of her house! I did!

Near the newspapers there was the stench of homeless, reading the news and enjoying the AC. And this was 20yrs ago.

Posted by: ChristyBlinkyTheGreat at January 29, 2026 10:39 PM (WONhk)

145 Two boobs is kind of like pi, one of those universal constants that has no solution.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at January 29, 2026 10:39 PM (CHHv1)

146 95 CAPS WIN ...

***barely***

Posted by: browndog nose in the snow at January 29, 2026 10:28 PM (3sXRv)

Still 6 points behind the Pens and the Pens have 3 games in hand, lol.

Posted by: XTC at January 29, 2026 10:40 PM (6Uni8)

147 Woman Discovers Third Breast After Giving Birth
There's a video clip at the link.

Oh, hell no, I'm not going to the link. I do not want to see that poor woman's armpit boob.

Posted by: nerdygirl at January 29, 2026 10:40 PM (0Htd1)

148 It’s the overnight thread, not the early supper thread.

Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at January 29, 2026 10:40 PM (EXyHK)

149 Sounds like the vacuum cleaner wasnt running....what kind of fun is that? I remember horrible stories of good old boys out in the fruited plain being mutilated by milking machines....yikes.

Posted by: SS at January 29, 2026 10:40 PM (e8Nbd)

150 Kind of on-topic, but Seattle just got hit with a $30M wrongful death verdict for that idiot that got shot trying to steal a jeep in CHAZ/CHOP during BLM.
-----

And the city of Seattle deserves that judgement. They allowed the CHOP assholes to take physical control of a piece of the city, and then somebody got killed there. The civil suit is what happens when you stop doing your duty in the middle of a hell-hole who LOVES "sticking it to the man". I could have won that case.

Posted by: Crusader at January 29, 2026 10:40 PM (Cjcf6)

151 @103

>> TJM's right about "The Apartment," it's Billy Wilder's best film. I mention that because of all the beers.

I don’t know, Stalag 17 and Sabrina would beg to differ.

Sometimes TJM is all wet.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at January 29, 2026 10:41 PM (XV/Pl)

152 Sorry I'm late, the bloodhounds lost the scent trail of Pepe LePew.

Posted by: tankdemon at January 29, 2026 10:41 PM (2m2UF)

153 Central Florida man caught in ‘sexual performance’ with vacuum, deputies say

That's really, really not my bag, baby.

Posted by: Austin Powers at January 29, 2026 10:41 PM (VHUov)

154 Could we please go back to two boobs please?
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at January 29, 2026 10:11 PM (+HNx/)

Seconded. Three boobs is like leaving an extra chair open at an intimate dinner date. Something wicked this way comes almost always. Why tempt fate?
Posted by: Fen at January 29, 2026 10:34 PM (ciYHQ)

I once had the realization that on many of my dates, I was the third boob. -me and a Zen master, probably

Posted by: Nerd Herd at January 29, 2026 10:41 PM (NZPfR)

155 Good night, all. You're incredibly wonderful, all of you.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at January 29, 2026 10:41 PM (CHHv1)

156 Sister of man shot by Border Patrol says he’s no victim, calls him violent
KOLD NEWS 13
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gTWf7-e9voU
Posted by: BetaCuck4Lyfe at January 29, 2026 10:28 PM (9aVck)

One report had him shooting at a helicopter. Is this true? That is stupid if not suicidal

Posted by: Kindltot at January 29, 2026 10:41 PM (rbvCR)

157 Wasn't there a 3 boob alien woman in the original "Total Recall?"

Posted by: no one of any consequence at January 29, 2026 10:42 PM (qFwJc)

158 “Seattle” didn’t, the beleaguered taxpayers did though.

The victims in all this, to add insult to injury. Float another bond issue, throw it on the pile with the rest of ‘em.

Posted by: Common Tater at January 29, 2026 10:39 PM (P55mL)

The taxpayers are voters are Seattle. As someone said, "good and hard."

Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at January 29, 2026 10:42 PM (dK+Kv)

159 The new kitty, Eddie, has a new nickname, kombat kitty! He's pouncing on the other cats and they don't like it so it sounds like a skirmish. He's driving me crazy with all his door opening, too bad he can't close them. He's 10 months olds so in the kitty teenager stage.

Thanks Piper!

Posted by: lin-duh is offended at January 29, 2026 10:42 PM (VCgbV)

160 Never liked Alanis M, and especially despise that song. If it comes on the radio, I’m changin’ the station.

Posted by: NCDave at January 29, 2026 10:42 PM (mAiNO)

161 130 NO NEW NICKNAMES, YOU MISCREANTS!
Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth

uh. find someone with three hands?
Posted by: gKWVE at January 29, 2026 10:36 PM (gKWVE)

Perhaps you missed the part where I said that it is tiny? Honestly, back when I was a teenager, I had zits bigger than this thing.

The band of my bra covers it up.

Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, Texas, AoSHQ's Plucky Wee One - Eat the Cheesecake, Buy the Yarn. at January 29, 2026 10:42 PM (SRRAx)

162 Beautiful picture up top. Thanks Doof!

Posted by: 496 at January 29, 2026 10:42 PM (O+H2/)

163 Sorry I'm late, the bloodhounds lost the scent trail of Pepe LePew.
Posted by: tankdemon

Overwhelmed and confused by the smell of fresh paint. It happens more often than you'd think.

Posted by: Penelope Pussycat at January 29, 2026 10:43 PM (VHUov)

164 GET YO ASS TO MARS.

Posted by: gKWVE at January 29, 2026 10:43 PM (gKWVE)

165 So Chandler has something in common with Scaramanga.

Posted by: tankdemon at January 29, 2026 10:43 PM (2m2UF)

166 ONT. I thought it was meant for insomniacs and weirdoes.

Posted by: BarelyScaryMary at January 29, 2026 10:43 PM (lpTXP)

167 hoe_math may be banned on X or whatever, but he's still on EweToob. Watching his videos makes me very grateful for my wife.

Posted by: PabloD at January 29, 2026 10:43 PM (3VXNH)

168 Beautiful picture up top. Thanks Doof!
Posted by: 496 at January 29, 2026 10:42 PM (O+H2/)

Glad you liked it. Good to see you around.

Posted by: Doof at January 29, 2026 10:44 PM (QMAsf)

169
Bilateral symmetry is the basis of feminine beauty.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at January 29, 2026 10:44 PM (tgvbd)

170 146 95 CAPS WIN ...

***barely***

Posted by: browndog nose in the snow at January 29, 2026 10:28 PM (3sXRv)

Still 6 points behind the Pens and the Pens have 3 games in hand, lol.
Posted by: XTC at January 29, 2026 10:40 PM (6Uni

I just needed the Caps to get the Shoot Out point, to keep Detroyette from getting it.

The Atlantic is wayyyyy to tight right now. I'd like the Sabres to have a little breathing room.

Posted by: browndog nose in the snow at January 29, 2026 10:44 PM (3sXRv)

171 One of the earliest improbable tales of the then new world wide web I recall was entitled “Scrotum Self Repair”; about a factory worker who used a belt driven machine to self-gratify during his lunch break. It didn’t go well, put it that way.

Posted by: Common Tater at January 29, 2026 10:44 PM (P55mL)

172 “Seattle” didn’t, the beleaguered taxpayers did though.

The victims in all this, to add insult to injury. Float another bond issue, throw it on the pile with the rest of ‘em.

Posted by: Common Tater at January 29, 2026 10:39 PM (P55mL)

The taxpayers are voters are Seattle. As someone said, "good and hard."
-----

When the local tax rate approaches 100%, even the brain dead will leave. Until them, screw them. There's nothing about them that is worth redeeming.

Posted by: Crusader at January 29, 2026 10:44 PM (Cjcf6)

173 LMAO...ok, so you see some clown having a relationship with a vacuum cleaner out in front of your hotel. What does that make you?

Apparently, it makes the people who reported it "VICTIMS" according to the article.

Me? It would make me a guy somewhat digusted and amused, and carrying a good story I can tell friends when I see them.

This world is made up pussies. And, who the hell established the spelling for vacuum? Did he stutter?

Posted by: Orson at January 29, 2026 10:45 PM (dIske)

174
496,

It's supposed to be in the 50's here in SW Wyoming this weekend.

What is your forecast for the weekend?

Posted by: fourseasons at January 29, 2026 10:45 PM (3ek7K)

175 "So what rule is this?"

Definitely not the "rule of cool."

Posted by: tankdemon at January 29, 2026 10:45 PM (2m2UF)

176 I found out recently via one of my kids, that the song You Oughta Know by Allanis, is about Dave Coulier, aka Uncle Joey from Full House.

I had no idea.

Posted by: Really?? at January 29, 2026 10:45 PM (PHOGh)

177 So we finished watching the Resident Alien series last night.

It was satisfying. Rounded the whole thing out. All the threads were tightened up, all the cast nicely featured, and nothing else needing to be said or done.

Best closing episode since… Bob Newhart.

Eureka has a pretty good ending of the last episode, so I recall. Need to watch it again.

But at the moment, we're at a loss for what to watch next. Might just have to go to bed early.

Posted by: mindful webworker - mmmm Suzanne Pleshette at January 29, 2026 10:46 PM (nO/+E)

178
Her Majesty and The Big Dummy arrived safely in Tuscaloosa and are lodged.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at January 29, 2026 10:46 PM (tgvbd)

179 Non-motile radially symmetrical photosynthetic organisms have their charms, too. In a non-sexual way

Posted by: Common Tater at January 29, 2026 10:46 PM (P55mL)

180 174
496,

It's supposed to be in the 50's here in SW Wyoming this weekend.

What is your forecast for the weekend?

Posted by: fourseasons at January 29, 2026 10:45 PM (3ek7K)

I have decided it might be end times, this winter has been so weird. Still praying for a White Easter and any holiday til the first of June!!!

Posted by: ChristyBlinkyTheGreat at January 29, 2026 10:46 PM (WONhk)

181
The pink pussy hats

I want to know what happened with all the pink pussy hats

It is cold in Minneapolis

You would think they would be wearing those

Posted by: Inquiring Mind of Miklos at January 29, 2026 10:48 PM (AP7fj)

182
Hadrian,

Yay! Husband and I follow her travels.

She is an amazing woman with all the travels she does.

Posted by: fourseasons at January 29, 2026 10:48 PM (3ek7K)

183 ONT. I thought it was meant for insomniacs and weirdoes.
Posted by: BarelyScaryMary
----------

*raises paw*

"Present!"

Posted by: JQ at January 29, 2026 10:48 PM (rdVOm)

184 Wasn't there a 3 boob alien woman in the original "Total Recall?"
Posted by: no one of any consequence

Yes, I was.

And I wasn't in much else. Talk about being typecast.

Posted by: Lycia Naff at January 29, 2026 10:48 PM (VHUov)

185 LMAO...ok, so you see some clown having a relationship with a vacuum cleaner out in front of your hotel. What does that make you?

Apparently, it makes the people who reported it "VICTIMS" according to the article.

Me? It would make me a guy somewhat digusted and amused, and carrying a good story I can tell friends when I see them.

This world is made up pussies. And, who the hell established the spelling for vacuum? Did he stutter?
Posted by: Orson at January 29, 2026 10:45 PM (dIske)

He did, right before it was over.

Posted by: Nerd Herd at January 29, 2026 10:48 PM (NZPfR)

186 Never liked Alanis M, and especially despise that song. If it comes on the radio, I’m changin’ the station.
----

The SINGLE WORST song to get massive airplay is "Head over Heels" by Alanis. The song itself *sucks*. But the worst part is the GOD AWFUL HARMONICA SOLO that takes place. And the harmonica is out of tune with the rest of the song, but even that presupposes that AN INTUNE HARMONICA CAN SAVE AN AWFUL SONG!

Posted by: Crusader at January 29, 2026 10:48 PM (Cjcf6)

187 181
The pink pussy hats

I want to know what happened with all the pink pussy hats

It is cold in Minneapolis

You would think they would be wearing those

Posted by: Inquiring Mind of Miklos at January 29, 2026 10:48 PM (AP7fj)

Recycled into merkins for clowns.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at January 29, 2026 10:49 PM (y+qgR)

188 Oh, hell no, I'm not going to the link. I do not want to see that poor woman's armpit boob.
Posted by: nerdygirl at
----
You made me lol!!!😂

Posted by: lin-duh is offended at January 29, 2026 10:49 PM (VCgbV)

189 Perhaps you missed the part where I said that it is tiny? Honestly, back when I was a teenager, I had zits bigger than this thing.

The band of my bra covers it up.

Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, Texas, AoSHQ's Plucky Wee One - Eat the Cheesecake, Buy the Yarn. at January 29, 2026 10:42 PM (SRRAx)

You have total recall of this?

Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at January 29, 2026 10:50 PM (dK+Kv)

190

ChristyBlinky,

My husband predicts we'll get slammed in May.

It's not Wyoming without a couple of big snows. We feel cheated this year.

Posted by: fourseasons at January 29, 2026 10:50 PM (3ek7K)

191 Old girlfriend of mine had a third nipple. Not due to pregnancy. Small, no breast tissue. No big deal. Just one of those human anomalies.

Posted by: Ex Rex Reeder at January 29, 2026 10:51 PM (MZ+PY)

192 Technically speaking, the Harmonica is in tune, being a fixed pitch instrument. A=440hz.

Posted by: Common Tater at January 29, 2026 10:51 PM (P55mL)

193 Lycia Naff was being teased as a recurrent character in ST:TNG but nothing came of it. I never knew why not.

Posted by: gKWVE at January 29, 2026 10:51 PM (gKWVE)

194 NO NEW NICKNAMES, YOU MISCREANTS!
Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth

There's a 50/50 chance that "Lefty" works.
Posted by: Wm. J. Clinton (sock still applies) at January 29, 2026 10:38 PM (VHUov)

Too late - I am hopelessly left-handed 🤣🤣🤣

I don't think anyone other than my OB/GYN, hubby, and I knew it was there. It is even covered up by bathing suits; a tiny little nothingburger.

Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, Texas, AoSHQ's Plucky Wee One - Eat the Cheesecake, Buy the Yarn. at January 29, 2026 10:51 PM (SRRAx)

195 "10 days ago The Tucker Carlson Show
Thirty years ago William F. Buckley banished Peter Brimelow from Con Inc. for saying that immigration was destroying the country. Turns out Brimelow was right."

I used to read VDare.com, before Letitia James destroyed them through lawfare ... Peter interviewed with Tucker recently, to reach his large bank of listeners I guess. I'm listening now.

https://tinyurl.com/bndwnzkv

Posted by: illiniwek at January 29, 2026 10:51 PM (vbXSk)

196 171 One of the earliest improbable tales of the then new world wide web I recall was entitled “Scrotum Self Repair”; about a factory worker who used a belt driven machine to self-gratify during his lunch break. It didn’t go well, put it that way.

--------

I learned early that great care should be practiced when deciding where to deploy one's scrotum.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at January 29, 2026 10:51 PM (+HNx/)

197 Bilateral symmetry is the basis of feminine beauty.
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at January 29, 2026 10:44 PM (tgvbd)

Trilateral symmetry is the basis of alien feminine beauty.

Posted by: Captain James Tiberius Kirk at January 29, 2026 10:51 PM (gKDq2)

198 Good evening Horde, thx Dood, great ONT.
NY Post reporting that Trump will name Kevin Warsh head of the Fed. Also heard Powell will stay on the Board once his chairmanship is up. Prick

Posted by: Smell the Glove at January 29, 2026 10:52 PM (IDEQi)

199 Glad you liked it. Good to see you around.

Posted by: Doof at January 29, 2026 10:44 PM (QMAsf)
-------
I'm here every night and I appreciate all of the work you and the other boss-men do to keep us entertained and informed

Posted by: 496 at January 29, 2026 10:52 PM (iU+ep)

200 HOLLYW( . )( . )D

Posted by: S. Sweeny at January 29, 2026 10:52 PM (2WIwB)

201 no weird dave tonight ? or is that on fridays ?

Posted by: alpine_beer at January 29, 2026 10:52 PM (van9r)

202 "Please tell me you live in a tri-state area. Lie if you must!"

Dallas, New Jersey. Would I lie to you, honey? N
Would I say something that wasn't true?

"BTW - my nic pre-dates Phineas and Ferb."
Posted by: Doof

Yeah okay, sorry. I had a girlfriend named Page. People would walk up to her and spin her 180 and say "I turned the page, haha" thinking they were oh so clever and she would pretend it wasn't the 3rd time that week someone... I forgot where I was going with this. Hmmm

Anyways, not your first Phineas and Ferb callback, eh? Sorry about that.

Posted by: Fen at January 29, 2026 10:52 PM (ciYHQ)

203 @186

"Head Over Heels" by Alanis

Never heard of it. Guess my fm rock station doesn't like it either.

Posted by: Case at January 29, 2026 10:53 PM (E7+ue)

204 Bilateral symmetry is the basis of feminine beauty.
Posted by: Hadrian

Absolutely. Two boobs is fine. Four is okay if she's tall. But three is right out.

Posted by: mindful webworker - by later all at January 29, 2026 10:53 PM (nO/+E)

205
191 Old girlfriend of mine had a third nipple. Not due to pregnancy. Small, no breast tissue. No big deal. Just one of those human anomalies.
Posted by: Ex Rex Reeder at January 29, 2026 10:51 PM (MZ+PY)

A witch's teat from which all manner of the Devil's servitors sup and dine.

Posted by: heinrich kramer at January 29, 2026 10:54 PM (y+qgR)

206 A wise man once told me that “Martinis are like boobs, one is not enough and three is too many”

Rules to live by.

Posted by: Pete Bog at January 29, 2026 10:54 PM (Rmwng)

207 Doof not Dood. Second damn time. Time to flog the autocucumber like that woman in Aceh

Posted by: Smell the Glove at January 29, 2026 10:54 PM (IDEQi)

208 I could be mistaken, but I think the pink puthy hats were about abortion, not ICE hatred and loving criminal rapist Somolians.That was when the stars were bragging about abortions and wimmen's rights to murder babies. Some had tee shirts with their tally.

Sometimes it's hard to keep up with their causes. I am sure the white skinned Pretti Good cause will be replaced soon. In MN I have not seen many black people due to the cold. Or Somilians, who you'd think would be protesting, given their low IQ.

Posted by: ChristyBlinkyTheGreat at January 29, 2026 10:54 PM (WONhk)

209 I only know the Head Over Heels song by Tears for Fears.
And I'll crank that shit up whenever it is on the radio. It never gets old for me.
(By contrast Everybody Wants To Rule The World sucks. It always sucked. I don't know why that is the one that gets played all the time)

Posted by: gKWVE at January 29, 2026 10:55 PM (gKWVE)

210 It's supposed to warm up a bit here in southeastern wyoming. I'm a skier, so I wouldn't mind snow, but I'm also loving the warmth this winter!

Posted by: 496 at January 29, 2026 10:55 PM (iU+ep)

211 There were a couple of episodes of Archer that implied Sterling Archer tried this when he was a boy.
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at January 29, 2026 10:09 PM (ESVrU)

Haven't we all? That and, well, never mind...

Posted by: He broke his neck trying to suck his own dick at January 29, 2026 10:55 PM (MZ+PY)

212 10 Can I get a little help here on how to react to this thing?
Posted by: OrangeEnt at January 29, 2026 10:06 PM (uQesX)

This might be late, (Shocker!!!) but to which "thing" are you referring? I am very adept at at reacting properly to any given situation, so long as the proper response is to call somebody a filthy (CENSORED) and continue with whatever activity I was previously engaged.

Posted by: tankdemon at January 29, 2026 10:56 PM (2m2UF)

213 NO NEW NICKNAMES, YOU MISCREANTS!
Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, Texas, AoSHQ's Plucky Wee One - Eat the Cheesecake, Buy the Yarn. at January 29, 2026 10:31 PM (SRRAx)

What's that you say, three T Theresa?

Posted by: From about That Time at January 29, 2026 10:56 PM (sl73Y)

214 191 Old girlfriend of mine had a third nipple. Not due to pregnancy. Small, no breast tissue. No big deal. Just one of those human anomalies.
Posted by: Ex Rex Reeder at January 29, 2026 10:51 PM (MZ+PY)

A witch's teat from which all manner of the Devil's servitors sup and dine.
Posted by: heinrich kramer at January 29, 2026 10:54 PM (y+qgR)

Oh, you dated her too?

Posted by: ::Rimshot:: at January 29, 2026 10:56 PM (NZPfR)

215 Two boobs is fine. Four is okay if she's tall. But three is right out.
Posted by: mindful webworker

When the Amazon aliens invade, we can't count on this one.

Posted by: gKWVE at January 29, 2026 10:56 PM (gKWVE)

216 Say what you want about Alanis, but she is responsible for everyone saying "don'tcha think?" after anyone says "isn't it ironic"

Posted by: Smell the Glove at January 29, 2026 10:56 PM (IDEQi)

217 Well Well.
Good news:
I just scored a tix to the Super Bowl.
Bad news:
I gotta find a way to avoid the bullshit half time show.

Posted by: Diogenes at January 29, 2026 10:58 PM (2WIwB)

218 Technically speaking, the Harmonica is in tune, being a fixed pitch instrument. A=440hz.
-----

Great point! A good deal of music is recorded a half step down. And even that "half step" assumes everyone involved knew what they were doing when they tuned down. The harmonica clashes with the underlying instruments.

Posted by: Crusader at January 29, 2026 10:58 PM (Cjcf6)

219 no weird dave tonight ? or is that on fridays ?
Posted by: alpine_beer at January 29, 2026 10:52 PM (van9r)

He's Fridays only now

Posted by: Doof at January 29, 2026 10:58 PM (QMAsf)

220 A couple of years ago a guy chopped off part of his schlong sticking it in a vacuum cleaner. Not a happy ending

Posted by: Smell the Glove at January 29, 2026 10:59 PM (IDEQi)

221 Listen, pizza sliced anyway is still pizza and is good.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at January 29, 2026 10:31 PM (XV/Pl)

I'll roll that shit up and eat it like a fruit roll if there was no knife.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at January 29, 2026 10:59 PM (snZF9)

222
Diogenes,

Take a bathroom break. By the time you get back from waiting in line the shitshow will be over.

Posted by: fourseasons at January 29, 2026 10:59 PM (3ek7K)

223 190

ChristyBlinky,

My husband predicts we'll get slammed in May.

It's not Wyoming without a couple of big snows. We feel cheated this year.

Posted by: fourseasons at January 29, 2026 10:50 PM (3ek7K)
......................................
GOOD! Maybe for my birthday, which is always around Memorial Day!!!

My dude said even the weather guys are bummed! So everyone is finally catching up with me. I got over it for Christmas as I have much to find joy about. But it's not the same, is it?

We had a very white Easter when my son was a toddler. Over 8" on the ground. I have hope. And I pray A LOT.

That dang jet stream needs to go away!

Posted by: ChristyBlinkyTheGreat at January 29, 2026 10:59 PM (WONhk)

224 I only know the Head Over Heels song by Tears for Fears.
And I'll crank that shit up whenever it is on the radio. It never gets old for me.
----

Agreed! That simple keyboard line just *cuts* right through every time he plays it. That's an epic tune.

Posted by: Crusader at January 29, 2026 11:00 PM (Cjcf6)

225 220 A couple of years ago a guy chopped off part of his schlong sticking it in a vacuum cleaner. Not a happy ending

---------

True. Most guys don't have many inches to spare.

Amirite ladies?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at January 29, 2026 11:00 PM (+HNx/)

226 thanks for cheering me up, 'rons, you were funny tonight. today was not a good day otherwise

Posted by: gKWVE at January 29, 2026 11:01 PM (gKWVE)

227 The music theme = well, not tobacco.

https://youtu.be/Q2FzZSBD5LE

Posted by: mindful webworker - burning bright at January 29, 2026 11:01 PM (nO/+E)

228 If going down on Uncle Joey in a theater helped make you famous, you probably have some issues.

Posted by: BarelyScaryMary at January 29, 2026 11:01 PM (lpTXP)

229 Doof not Dood. Second damn time. Time to flog the autocucumber like that woman in Aceh
Posted by: Smell the Glove at January 29, 2026 10:54 PM (IDEQi)

Once more and it's personal!!

Posted by: Doof at January 29, 2026 11:01 PM (QMAsf)

230 A witch's teat from which all manner of the Devil's servitors sup and dine.
Posted by: heinrich kramer

Finger of birth strangled babe is pretty easy to get these days

In certain states

Posted by: the Witches at January 29, 2026 11:02 PM (AP7fj)

231
Cicero,

You are right.

I've seen some things, well I haven't seen big things.

Posted by: fourseasons at January 29, 2026 11:02 PM (3ek7K)

232 So the largest ICE tracking website, StopICE.net, turned out to have security in roughly the same way that Minx 0.8 beta has features. A couple of friends of DataRepublican got in, took their entire list of contributors including their email addresses, and replaced all of their vehicle and license plate images with a picture of Tom Homan.

I gather they've now restored the images from a backup, but the list of email addresses is quite interesting too.

Posted by: Ian S. at January 29, 2026 11:02 PM (xComp)

233 Bilateral symmetry is the basis of feminine beauty.
Posted by: Hadrian

Absolutely. Two boobs is fine. Four is okay if she's tall. But three is right out.
Posted by: mindful webworker

A third one right in the middle, like mine, is still bilaterally symmetric.

Or do you consider mouths and noses and bellybuttons and..... places southwards to be asymmetrical?

Posted by: Lycia Naff (again) at January 29, 2026 11:03 PM (VHUov)

234 Once more and it's personal!!
Posted by: Doof

I need to call Vito and Three Finger Joe?

Posted by: Mustachioed Fedora Miklos di Mikloso at January 29, 2026 11:04 PM (AP7fj)

235 @226 Cheers, and a bit more cheers. Let it settle over you and enjoy it. Relax, as the songs say.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at January 29, 2026 11:04 PM (CHHv1)

236 "Head Over Heels" by Alanis

Never heard of it. Guess my fm rock station doesn't like it either.
Posted by: Case at January 29, 2026 10:53 PM (E7+ue)

Head over Feet.

Head Over Heels was Tears for Fears (as someone mentioned), and The Go-Go's (a completely different song).

Posted by: Doof at January 29, 2026 11:04 PM (QMAsf)

237 Until tonight I did not know that Denver Pyle ever guest-starred in an episode of The Love Boat.

With age, comes wisdom.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at January 29, 2026 11:05 PM (+HNx/)

238 This has been the worst winter ski wise in a long time, maybe 10 years. Weirdly enough the east coast has snow. Go figure coast isn’t so icy.

But we were spoiled the past 3 years, with feet upon feet of snow. Life is one big ebb and flow.

Posted by: Really?? at January 29, 2026 11:05 PM (PHOGh)

239 I once had the realization that on many of my dates, I was the third boob. -me and a Zen master, probably
Posted by: Nerd Herd

I know your pain. The worst was going out with the love of my life while friend zoned - because love will find a way, right? Then AlphaJerk elbows you "is that your girlfriend. No? Mind if I fck her?" SMH it's a miracle I'm not in prison.

Oh, she was a healer too, so on the nights that DIDN'T happen, it was always some lost soul, like our waitress, sitting down to share her life story with her for 3 hours. Sigh

Posted by: Fen at January 29, 2026 11:05 PM (ciYHQ)

240 Symmetry is overrated.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at January 29, 2026 11:06 PM (y+qgR)

241 I need to call Vito and Three Finger Joe?
Posted by: Mustachioed Fedora Miklos di Mikloso at January 29, 2026 11:04 PM (AP7fj)

Yeah! Bring Moose too. Maybe have The Neck on standby.

Posted by: Doof at January 29, 2026 11:06 PM (QMAsf)

242 I have no man-boobs

no moobs

Sorry not sorry

Posted by: Miklos larned about the X and Y chromosomes by Playing Doctor as a child at January 29, 2026 11:06 PM (AP7fj)

243 Needless to say, Fen did not get laid

Posted by: Fen at January 29, 2026 11:07 PM (ciYHQ)

244 A whole bunch of famous tunes were recorded waaaay off from standard pitch, or “down in the cracks”. Even if tuned down a step, the pitch is the standard. Or not. 440hz is just an agreement.

Mostly just indifferent tuning. That “flute solo” for example in “All the leaves are brown”.

Posted by: Common Tater at January 29, 2026 11:07 PM (P55mL)

245 So the largest ICE tracking website, StopICE.net, turned out to have security in roughly the same way that Minx 0.8 beta has features. A couple of friends of DataRepublican got in, took their entire list of contributors including their email addresses, and replaced all of their vehicle and license plate images with a picture of Tom Homan.
----

I'm not really sure how they thought it was going to turn out any other way? Our opposition is prone to bold action (and ours isn't), but they also make some stupid assumptions.

Posted by: Crusader at January 29, 2026 11:07 PM (Cjcf6)

246 240 Symmetry is overrated.
Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at January 29, 2026 11:06 PM (y+qgR)

--------

What are you, a fucking Echinodermata?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at January 29, 2026 11:08 PM (+HNx/)

247 228 If going down on Uncle Joey in a theater helped make you famous, you probably have some issues.

Posted by: BarelyScaryMary at January 29, 2026 11:01 PM (lpTXP)

It's Canada. That's what passes for famous in Canada.

Posted by: XTC at January 29, 2026 11:08 PM (6Uni8)

248 Yeah! Bring Moose too. Maybe have The Neck on standby.
Posted by: Doof

Moose is off tonite

Shoulda told ya

Posted by: totally legit Club owner Miklos (passive investor, if anybody asks) at January 29, 2026 11:08 PM (AP7fj)

249 All the 'ons are strong and capable. All the 'ettes are beautiful and smart. That's my sign off for tonight. Look in the mirror tonight and see the strong, beautiful person I see. Take care and good night.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at January 29, 2026 11:09 PM (CHHv1)

250 Uncle Joey is from Detroit. Practically a hoser himself.

Posted by: Really?? at January 29, 2026 11:10 PM (PHOGh)

251 Tracking son and family's plane to FL. Almost landing. I will miss our little midgets and sweet baby girl this weekend, but hope they have a wonderful time with our other son and DIL and friends. Back in a few days. I saw the baby girl on Wed, so that will have to do for the week. Little doll, she is.

Good night, Morons and 'ettes! You keep me sort of sane!

Rock on!

https://tinyurl.com/y2kdtbfd

Posted by: ChristyBlinkyTheGreat at January 29, 2026 11:10 PM (WONhk)

252 Going to be -8° when I get up in the AM. Don't think I'll take my usual 2-3m walk

Posted by: Smell the Glove at January 29, 2026 11:10 PM (IDEQi)

253 52 No! It’s really fascinating. If I had something ugly to say for real, I would just text you. 😂
Posted by: Piper at January 29, 2026 10:16 PM (p4NUW)

I knew it! You keep all the really interesting content in the backchannels. Don't you think we'd be interested in the behind the scenes drama?

Posted by: tankdemon at January 29, 2026 11:10 PM (2m2UF)

254 Seconded. Three boobs is like leaving an extra chair open at an intimate dinner date. Something wicked this way comes almost always. Why tempt fate?
Posted by: Fen at January 29, 2026 10:34 PM (ciYHQ)

Indeed. There's a fine line between motorboating three boobs and getting beaten into a coma...

Posted by: Joe Kidd at January 29, 2026 11:10 PM (nbLIj)

255

ChristyBlinky,

Pray for snow.

Sleep well dear.

Posted by: fourseasons at January 29, 2026 11:11 PM (3ek7K)

256 Shout is a great Tears for Fears song

Posted by: Smell the Glove at January 29, 2026 11:11 PM (IDEQi)

257 54 Maybe we can convince liberal chicks that arabs need them.
Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at January 29, 2026 10:17 PM (snZF9)

Then what would we do with all the abandoned goats?

Posted by: tankdemon at January 29, 2026 11:11 PM (2m2UF)

258 252 Going to be -8° when I get up in the AM. Don't think I'll take my usual 2-3m walk
Posted by: Smell the Glove at January 29, 2026 11:10 PM (IDEQi)

Cold as a witch's tit.

Posted by: Ex Rex Reeder at January 29, 2026 11:12 PM (MZ+PY)

259 Good evening morons ותודה דיסקו!

Posted by: San Franpsycho at January 29, 2026 11:12 PM (RIvkX)

260 Thinking @Realbritthughes in the content is a hottie. In that stern sexy mom sort of way.

Posted by: Pete Bog at January 29, 2026 11:13 PM (Rmwng)

261 ONT. I thought it was meant for insomniacs and weirdoes.
Posted by: BarelyScaryMary

Who are you calling a weirdo?

On an unrelated note, here's two more songs for the theme:

https://youtu.be/ZxQJODny1R4
https://youtu.be/poqEUER6m90

Posted by: mikeski, now without sockpuppets at January 29, 2026 11:13 PM (VHUov)

262 The Three Nipple problem present similar issues as the Three Body Problem.

Posted by: Smell the Glove at January 29, 2026 11:13 PM (IDEQi)

263 There's a fine line between motorboating three boobs and getting beaten into a coma...
Posted by: Joe Kidd

What kind of dates are you going on ?!

Posted by: Fen at January 29, 2026 11:14 PM (ciYHQ)

264 ONT. I thought it was meant for insomniacs and weirdoes.
Posted by: BarelyScaryMary

Your point being?

Posted by: Miklos in best 80s Valley Girl voice at January 29, 2026 11:15 PM (AP7fj)

265 To cover up the graffiti, Caltrans crews are installing artificial ivy on the walls. There are mixed opinions on whether or not it's a good idea.
======

When I was a kid the city would paste pictures of apartment windows in the windows of abandoned buildings to make them look occupied.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at January 29, 2026 11:15 PM (RIvkX)

266 San Franpsycho,
Can you recommend any good tailgating spots for the Super Bowl?

Posted by: Diogenes at January 29, 2026 11:15 PM (2WIwB)

267 I know your pain. The worst was going out with the love of my life while friend zoned - because love will find a way, right? Then AlphaJerk elbows you "is that your girlfriend. No? Mind if I fck her?" SMH it's a miracle I'm not in prison.

Oh, she was a healer too, so on the nights that DIDN'T happen, it was always some lost soul, like our waitress, sitting down to share her life story with her for 3 hours. Sigh
Posted by: Fen at January 29, 2026 11:05 PM (ciYHQ)

I hope your story ended well. I had to learn the hard way about getting out of the friend zone, i.e., don't get mad, just get out of Dodge. I had the good fortune to see a few of my friendzone loves later and realize I'd dodged a few bullets just by being a dope. What's the line? "God loves drunkards, fools, and the United States of America." I dodged a stripper-turned-druggie and endless complaints, among other things.

Posted by: Nerd Herd at January 29, 2026 11:16 PM (NZPfR)

268 I guess Smoke on the Water and Boston's Smokin were too obvious

Posted by: Smell the Glove at January 29, 2026 11:17 PM (IDEQi)

269 71 I hate my brain.
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at January 29, 2026 10:21 PM (zZu0s)

I don't know why (maybe because my brain has some neurons firing a bit out of synch) but that line reminded me of an old joke:

Johnny- Mommy, I hate my sister's guts!
Mom- Shut up and eat.

Posted by: tankdemon at January 29, 2026 11:17 PM (2m2UF)

270 256 Shout is a great Tears for Fears song

Posted by: Smell the Glove at January 29, 2026 11:11 PM (IDEQi)

The Tipping Point is probably my favorite of theirs.

Posted by: XTC at January 29, 2026 11:17 PM (6Uni8)

271 There's a fine line between motorboating three boobs and getting beaten into a coma...
Posted by: Joe Kidd

What kind of dates are you going on ?!
Posted by: Fen

He came over and brought tequila one time.

There are pictures.

Lucky that Miklos is cousins with one of the Deputy Sherriffs

Posted by: Darleen, Marleen and Charleen support this massage at January 29, 2026 11:17 PM (AP7fj)

272 @244
All the leaves are brown.......
I'd be safe and warm if I were in LA....

Really? Must be a drug pusher.

Posted by: Case at January 29, 2026 11:17 PM (E7+ue)

273 240 Symmetry is overrated.
Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at January 29, 2026 11:06 PM (y+qgR)

--------

She says that like it's a bad thing.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at January 29, 2026 11:18 PM (+HNx/)

274 Me? It would make me a guy somewhat digusted and amused, and carrying a good story I can tell friends when I see them.
This world is made up pussies. And, who the hell established the spelling for vacuum? Did he stutter?
Posted by: Orson

Oh, I agree. When I was in college my roommates and I were walking back to our apartment when some perv exposed himself. We ran back home laughing and called the cops. The cop who came over laughed along with us. It was November in Michigan, and the guy had to be really dedicated to his craft to be practicing it in that kind of weather.

Posted by: nerdygirl at January 29, 2026 11:18 PM (0Htd1)

275 I LOVE the ONT thread, but can we please consider starting it a little earlier?
Posted by: Crusader at January 29
-----
So, you want the overnight thread to start hours before sunset. (in the summer)... out here in doesn't-matter-country.
🤔

Posted by: buddhaha at January 29, 2026 11:18 PM (qfI/e)

276 Doof not Dood. Second damn time. Time to flog the autocucumber like that woman in Aceh
Posted by: Smell the Glove

Once more and it's personal!!
Posted by: Doof

Once is happenstance.
Twice is autocucumber.
The third time, it's your new nickname.

Posted by: Auric Goldfinger at January 29, 2026 11:18 PM (VHUov)

277 73 This is earlier than it used to be. Years ago it used to be close to an hour or so later and never at the same time every night. Talk about staying up past your bedtime. Of course we were all much younger then...
Posted by: lin-duh is offended at January 29, 2026 10:22 PM (VCgbV)

Not me.

Posted by: Benjamin Button at January 29, 2026 11:19 PM (2m2UF)

278 When I was in college my roommates and I were walking back to our apartment when some perv exposed himself. We ran back home laughing and called the cops. The cop who came over laughed along with us. It was November in Michigan, and the guy had to be really dedicated to his craft to be practicing it in that kind of weather.
Posted by: nerdygirl

Where's Waldo, live version?

Posted by: mikeski at January 29, 2026 11:20 PM (VHUov)

279 I'm seriously surprised that the "eggheads" in the Twin Cities haven't started driving around with diesel generators powering huge space heaters to get rid of ICE.

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at January 29, 2026 11:20 PM (S/Y4j)

280 "So the largest ICE tracking website, StopICE.net, turned out to have security in roughly the same way that Minx 0.8 beta has features. A couple of friends of DataRepublican got in, took their entire list of contributors including their email addresses, and replaced all of their vehicle and license plate images with a picture of Tom Homan"

Awesome sauce. I'm SO tired of idiots playing stupid on Twitter. This makes me happy again. Thank you.

Posted by: Fen at January 29, 2026 11:20 PM (ciYHQ)

281 This is interesting. Saw on LinkedIn the CEO of a company that “mainly serves immigrants” announced they’re shutting it down due to “changing immigration patterns”.

Posted by: Really?? at January 29, 2026 11:20 PM (PHOGh)

282 Four Seasons,

Florida swapped winter weather with Wyoming.

Isn’t it ironic, don’t ya think?

Posted by: Pete Bog at January 29, 2026 11:21 PM (Rmwng)

283 Symmetry is overrated.
Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls

This too is the story of Yoga

Posted by: Double Down Dog Dare ya Miklos at January 29, 2026 11:22 PM (AP7fj)

284 279 I'm seriously surprised that the "eggheads" in the Twin Cities haven't started driving around with diesel generators powering huge space heaters to get rid of ICE.

------

I don't get it.

Posted by: H.E.A.T. at January 29, 2026 11:22 PM (+HNx/)

285 Greetings

The frozen waves picture is a nice reminder that Creation is beautiful and worth taking time to enjoy.

"I don't march to the beat of a different drum, I cut pizza in the style of Picasso"; that's one way to counter OCD, I suppose.

Thanks for the ONT

Posted by: AmericanKestrel at January 29, 2026 11:23 PM (RkOfE)

286 San Franpsycho,
Can you recommend any good tailgating spots for the Super Bowl?
Posted by: Diogenes at January 29, 2026 11:15 PM (2WIwB)
====
Carmel

Srsly I don't know the stadium area at all it is 40 miles from San Francisco.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at January 29, 2026 11:23 PM (RIvkX)

287 Never liked Alanis M, and especially despise that song. If it comes on the radio, I’m changin’ the station.
Posted by: NCDave at January 29, 2026 10:42 PM (mAiNO)

Annoying whiny twat.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at January 29, 2026 11:24 PM (8zz6B)

288 A dude flashed his junk at me one morning as I was driving to school. I just pointed and laughed.

Posted by: BarelyScaryMary at January 29, 2026 11:24 PM (lpTXP)

289 Posted by: Fen at January 29, 2026 11:05 PM (ciYHQ)

I hope your story ended well. I had to learn the hard way about getting out of the friend zone, i.e., don't get mad, just get out of Dodge. I had the good fortune to see a few of my friendzone loves later and realize I'd dodged a few bullets just by being a dope. What's the line? "God loves drunkards, fools, and the United States of America." I dodged a stripper-turned-druggie and endless complaints, among other things.
Posted by: Nerd Herd at January 29, 2026 11:16 PM (NZPfR)

Stuff happens as planned. One of my male friends gave me feelings that he was interested. But never had the courage to do anything & I gave up. I honestly am thankful now as he got into some trouble with the law years later and seemed to be a cold SOB. When I rode his motorcycle with him in shorts and burned the heck out of my calf it was a sign. He did nothing. No empathy. I took that as a sign.

I married the crazy boyfriend instead, who broke up with me every season the first year we met at 22yrs. I think (other than my obvious charms and ambition), I impressed him by not whining, chasing, stalking or giving a hoot. I ain't going to beg anyone. We won!

Posted by: ChristyBlinkyTheGreat at January 29, 2026 11:24 PM (WONhk)

290
Living in the Mountain Time Zone it does seem weird in summertime when the ONT is posted when the sun is still up.

I don't care, I wouldn't miss the ONT whenever it is posted. We have amazing posters here and I don't want to miss the awesome comments.

I'm a night owl so it it doesn't bother me.

Posted by: fourseasons at January 29, 2026 11:24 PM (3ek7K)

291 Symmetry is overrated.
Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls

No huh!!!

Posted by: OCD people everywhere at January 29, 2026 11:25 PM (2WIwB)

292 288 A dude flashed his junk at me one morning as I was driving to school. I just pointed and laughed.
Posted by: BarelyScaryMary at January 29, 2026 11:24 PM (lpTXP)

--------

It obviously wasn't MY junk.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at January 29, 2026 11:25 PM (+HNx/)

293 Pass the Duchie (on the Left Hand Side)

Posted by: San Franpsycho at January 29, 2026 11:25 PM (RIvkX)

294 Remarked to a friend tonight that Wyoming winter was so warm because the ICE was in Minnesota.

Har har!

Posted by: Pete Bog at January 29, 2026 11:27 PM (Rmwng)

295 @282. Florida swapped winter weather with Wyoming.

It won't last for long. At least they can shut their AC's off for a day or two.

Posted by: Case at January 29, 2026 11:27 PM (E7+ue)

296 ====
Carmel

Srsly I don't know the stadium area at all it is 40 miles from San Francisco.
Posted by: San Franpsycho at January 29, 2026 11:23 PM (RIvkX)

I don't know the area at all. It's going to be fun exploring.
Carmel would be great. I might need to stay a few extra days and bring my golf clubs.

Posted by: OCD people everywhere at January 29, 2026 11:28 PM (2WIwB)

297 A 23 year old woman decapitated her 55 yr old boyfriend in California and fled to Mexico . I can fix her

Posted by: Smell the Glove at January 29, 2026 11:28 PM (IDEQi)

298 Off OCD sock

Posted by: Diogenes at January 29, 2026 11:28 PM (2WIwB)

299 I'm stupid that I'm just realizing this now, but I think I could have a great Saturday or Sunday by just showing up at tailgate for whatever college or pro team was closest. Great food, and rabid fans. Why would I need a ticket to go inside when such awesomeness was outside?

Posted by: Crusader at January 29, 2026 11:29 PM (Cjcf6)

300 ONT. I thought it was meant for insomniacs and weirdoes.
Posted by: BarelyScaryMary
----------

*raises paw*

"Present!"
----
Hello, my name is American Kestrel. I'm a weird insomniac.

Posted by: AmericanKestrel at January 29, 2026 11:29 PM (RkOfE)

301 297 A 23 year old woman decapitated her 55 yr old boyfriend in California and fled to Mexico . I can fix her
Posted by: Smell the Glove at January 29, 2026 11:28 PM (IDEQi

--------

Bury the body. Bag the head.

Posted by: Capt. Love at January 29, 2026 11:29 PM (+HNx/)

302 I saw Alanis live in 02 or 03 in a medium size club. The band and her actually rocked pretty hard...surprised no-one mentioned the "lactation consultant"... That has to take at least a day of college to graduate in, lol

Posted by: Azjaeger at January 29, 2026 11:29 PM (3/XaG)

303 I don't know the area at all. It's going to be fun exploring.
Carmel would be great. I might need to stay a few extra days and bring my golf clubs.
====

The area is all relatively newly constructed, I lived down there 40 years ago there was nothing but salt flats.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at January 29, 2026 11:29 PM (RIvkX)

304 The item about the gentleman performing an act with a vacuum cleaner reminded me of Dave Barry's column, reprinted in his "Guide to Guys", of the fellow who attempted to siphon gasoline with a vacuum cleaner, with predictable results.

As for the third nipple, supernumerary nipples are not uncommon. My father-in-law had one. Not a big deal.

Posted by: Nemo at January 29, 2026 11:30 PM (4RPgu)

305 67 Or smoking. If I were to abandon all rational analysis in favor of a wild-haired guess, I'd say smoking...
Posted by: Joe Kidd at January 29, 2026 10:20 PM (nbLIj)

What are we - chopped liver?
-Brownsville Station

Posted by: Anonymous Rogue in Kalifornistan (ARiK) at January 29, 2026 11:30 PM (QGaXH)

306

Hiya Pete,

Yes, it's ironic.

We're going to grill lots of beast meat this weekend .

On nice weekends we have the grill going and freeze lots of meat.

Posted by: fourseasons at January 29, 2026 11:30 PM (3ek7K)

307 By the way, the acoustic guitar in "Patience" by Guns-n-Roses is *woefully* out of tune as well. Seriously.

Posted by: Crusader at January 29, 2026 11:31 PM (Cjcf6)

308 It will be very difficult getting in and out of the stadium give yourself plenty of time.

If you will be in the city I would love to buy you a drink.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at January 29, 2026 11:31 PM (RIvkX)

309 Good news:
I just scored a tix to the Super Bowl.
Bad news:
I gotta find a way to avoid the bullshit half time show.
Posted by: Diogenes
-----
Be a gentleman. Go find the ladies room line and offer to hold her place to the girl at the end. That should do.it.

Posted by: buddhaha at January 29, 2026 11:31 PM (qfI/e)

310 Florida swapped winter weather with Wyoming.

Isn’t it ironic, don’t ya think?
Posted by: Pete Bog

Who controls Florida?

Who benefits?

Posted by: Miklos guesses da Jooz at January 29, 2026 11:32 PM (AP7fj)

311 A dude flashed his junk at me one morning as I was driving to school. I just pointed and laughed.
Posted by: BarelyScaryMary

Yeah, but the shame is part of the kink.

Posted by: the laugh-ee at January 29, 2026 11:32 PM (VHUov)

312 As for the third nipple, supernumerary nipples are not uncommon. My father-in-law had one. Not a big deal.
Posted by: Nemo at January 29, 2026 11:30 PM (4RPgu)
=====

I know, right?

Posted by: Man with the Golden Gun at January 29, 2026 11:32 PM (RIvkX)

313 "I hope your story ended well."

It did. I felt the full power of Aphrodite, heartbreak yes but bliss too. Both at an intensity few men know. And everything I learned from that helped me find a woman with a pure heart, who I've been happily married to for 25 years. And it's not the kind of love that burns and consumes.

"I dodged a stripper-turned-druggie and endless complaints, among other things."
Posted by: Nerd Herd

Hah we may be soulmates, I had my run with strippers too, I was going to "save" them too. Haha what a fool believes.

Posted by: Fen at January 29, 2026 11:32 PM (ciYHQ)

314 Just saw that my Florida family will be seeing lows in the 20s. That is wild. They barely own socks and long pants.

Posted by: BarelyScaryMary at January 29, 2026 11:33 PM (lpTXP)

315 A 23 year old woman decapitated her 55 yr old boyfriend in California and fled to Mexico . I can fix her

Posted by: Smell the Glove at January 29, 2026 11:28 PM (IDEQi)

It's hard to find good help.

Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at January 29, 2026 11:33 PM (dK+Kv)

316 Hi! That woman's take on horrible lib women might be true of some, but I know married women with kids who are just as crazy on this topic. My SIL was practically in tears the other day because she's afraid her adopted son ( who is nearly 40, Hispanic and American born) will be picked up by ICE and deported. Completely ridiculous, but her concern is genuine and my opinion doesn't count because "I'm in the Trump cult." And I'm childless, which I regret, and the only one in my family, now that my sister's husband has passed, who supports Trump. Going by demographics, I should be a screeching leftist cat lady.

Posted by: Donna&&&&&&v at January 29, 2026 11:33 PM (Kxi0p)

317 Scaramanga had a third nipple and a Tattoo

Posted by: Smell the Glove at January 29, 2026 11:34 PM (IDEQi)

318 76
I read what I can before I fall asleep, finish reading in the morning.
Posted by: fourseasons at January 29, 2026 10:23 PM (3ek7K)

I usually read through to the end. Sometimes I'm the last comment posted.

Thank you Doof for excellent content, as always.

Piper - I only know you from what you write here but based on that limited data set - I don't think there's a mean bone in your body. Smile.

Posted by: Anonymous Rogue in Kalifornistan (ARiK) at January 29, 2026 11:35 PM (QGaXH)

319 144
Posted by: ChristyBlinkyTheGreat at January 29, 2026 10:39 PM (WONhk)

And I thought the story about the guy whose penis was in the Guinness Book of World Records, until the librarian caught him, was totally fictional.

Posted by: Benjamin Button at January 29, 2026 11:35 PM (2m2UF)

320 If you will be in the city I would love to buy you a drink.
Posted by: San Franpsycho at January 29, 2026 11:31 PM (RIvkX)

I don't know the full schedule yet or where I'm staying. Daughter is setting up the logistics. I'll let ya know.

Posted by: Diogenes at January 29, 2026 11:36 PM (2WIwB)

321 317 Scaramanga had a third nipple and a Tattoo
Posted by: Smell the Glove at January 29, 2026 11:34 PM (IDEQi)
---------

Pffft.

Posted by: The Guy Who Always Asks Whether He Did The Fandango at January 29, 2026 11:37 PM (+HNx/)

322 It's hard to find good help.
Posted by: Comrade Flounder

it's easy to find help to schlupp

Posted by: Ahnold at January 29, 2026 11:38 PM (AP7fj)

323 Oooops.

This is a sock removal post. Please do not be alarmed. This post is purely intended to allow poster to remove an unwanted sock. Feel free to scroll past this post to the much more entertaining/informative post that follows.

Thank you for your consideration in this matter.

Posted by: tankdemon at January 29, 2026 11:38 PM (2m2UF)

324 Scaramanga had a third nipple and a Tattoo
Posted by: Smell the Glove at January 29, 2026 11:34 PM (IDEQi)

Boss! Boss! I thought we agreed to keep that on the down low!

Posted by: Herv� Villechaize at January 29, 2026 11:39 PM (3glYV)

325 This post is purely intended to allow poster to remove an unwanted sock.

TMI, man. TMI.

Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at January 29, 2026 11:39 PM (EXyHK)

326 Not only is tomorrow Friday, but being the last business day of the month, the pension checks drop!

Thank you giant, evil aerospace companies R, N and legacy B (not Boeing)

Posted by: Anonymous Rogue in Kalifornistan (ARiK) at January 29, 2026 11:39 PM (QGaXH)

327 *thumbs up*

Posted by: Man with the Golden Gun at January 29, 2026 11:39 PM (RIvkX)

328 Thought Nurse (or Ace) might like this - just wanted to share this adorable video of the otters at the Fort Worth Zoo enjoying the ice this weekend:

https://tinyurl.com/FWZooOttersOnIce

Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, Texas, AoSHQ's Plucky Wee One - Eat the Cheesecake, Buy the Yarn. at January 29, 2026 11:40 PM (SRRAx)

329 Hello, my name is American Kestrel. I'm a weird insomniac.
Posted by: AmericanKestrel

umm...My name is Miklos

*Hi Miklos!*

Posted by: Miklos anonymous at January 29, 2026 11:41 PM (AP7fj)

330 *thumbs up*
/sock off

Posted by: San Franpsycho at January 29, 2026 11:41 PM (RIvkX)

331 166 ONT. I thought it was meant for insomniacs and weirdoes.
Posted by: BarelyScaryMary at January 29, 2026 10:43 PM (lpTXP)

I'm not an insomniac.

Posted by: tankdemon at January 29, 2026 11:42 PM (2m2UF)

332 The Man with the Golden Gun is one of the most fun Bond flicks. Cheesy fun.

Posted by: BarelyScaryMary at January 29, 2026 11:42 PM (lpTXP)

333 All the info to get into the Pittsburgh pAntifa Signal chats just got posted on X.

I'm gonna guess that's less entertaining than the Pittsburgh Scanner that WeirdDave posts.

Posted by: Ian S. at January 29, 2026 11:43 PM (xComp)

334 Take a bathroom break. By the time you get back from waiting in line the shitshow will be over.
Posted by: fourseasons

Well that's a double-entendre.

Posted by: Dark Litigator at January 29, 2026 11:43 PM (KAi1n)

335 DHS chief Kristi Noem tells ice officers in Minnesota you take your orders from me no Homan! Eric Ericsson red state.

Posted by: exodus 21:22-25 at January 29, 2026 11:44 PM (QV8Hl)

336 I'm not an insomniac.
Posted by: tankdemon

Insomniac was up day and night.

Something about tire irons.

Posted by: Ancient Slavonaut Theorist Miklosov at January 29, 2026 11:44 PM (AP7fj)

337 Carmel's a little far from Santa Clara. When Doof was out a few years ago, I picked him up at San Jose airport and we had Mexican food for lunch.

Posted by: Dark Litigator at January 29, 2026 11:44 PM (KAi1n)

338 178
Her Majesty and The Big Dummy arrived safely in Tuscaloosa and are lodged.
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at January 29, 2026 10:46 PM (tgvbd)

I hear that is the best place to collect ivory.

Posted by: tankdemon at January 29, 2026 11:45 PM (2m2UF)

339 I knew it! You keep all the really interesting content in the backchannels. Don't you think we'd be interested in the behind the scenes drama?

Posted by: tankdemon at January 29, 2026 11:10 PM (2m2UF)

That content is available to paid subscribers only

Posted by: Doof at January 29, 2026 11:46 PM (QMAsf)

340 When I rode his motorcycle with him in shorts and burned the heck out of my calf it was a sign. He did nothing. No empathy. I took that as a sign.
Posted by: ChristyBlinkyTheGreat

Interesting you say that. I'm a bit retarded socially - oh you guys already figured that out eh? laugh away - anyways night after a frat party, we're in bed at my apartment, very drunk and there's this creepy as fck animal howl (prob a fox). She's terrified, wants me to go check it out.

Now, I'm drunk, it's cold, bed spinning, I don't want to get up, get dressed, go outside, monster or not. So I blow her off.

That was the last time we were together. And it wasn't until years later that it occurred to me - I failed a test. The primary role of a man is that of Protector. No wonder I lost her

Posted by: Fen at January 29, 2026 11:46 PM (ciYHQ)

341 Carmel's a little far from Santa Clara. When Doof was out a few years ago, I picked him up at San Jose airport and we had Mexican food for lunch.
Posted by: Dark Litigator at January 29, 2026 11:44 PM (KAi1n)
====

I was being a little facetious about Carmel. You're a good moron for driving all the way down to San Jose.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at January 29, 2026 11:47 PM (RIvkX)

342 I'm not an insomniac.
Posted by: tankdemon

Me neither, Doc!

I can sleep anytime I want!

Posted by: Miklos remembers the rosy fingered dawns of youth at January 29, 2026 11:47 PM (AP7fj)

343 Michael Bennett had me fooled for a bit. Still like listening.

https://tinyurl.com/745d3p5k

Posted by: javems at January 29, 2026 11:47 PM (rhotX)

344 Her Majesty and The Big Dummy arrived safely in Tuscaloosa and are lodged.
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at January 29, 2026 10:46 PM (tgvbd)

I hear that is the best place to collect ivory.

-------

By reputation, it is easy to extract, because the ....

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at January 29, 2026 11:47 PM (+HNx/)

345 142 Still not sure if I got Lil Pooky's stomach bug or not. This morning he was a bit tired and whiny, but after his nap, he was convinced he could go full steam ahead. He thought we were starving him by giving him a little bit of food at a time to see if he could handle it. Boys are a black hole for food, I swear!
Posted by: pookysgirl, constantly restocking the pantry at January 29, 2026 10:39 PM (Wt5PA)

Wait 'til he's a teen ager and his friends come over....you'll think locusts hit..

Posted by: Anonymous Rogue in Kalifornistan (ARiK) at January 29, 2026 11:47 PM (QGaXH)

346 so, after Georgia, and the forced recount with the interesting bits of information coming out on the 2020 election tally, which state do you think will have the first tragic fire destroying the storage facility holding their 2020 ballots?

Posted by: Kindltot at January 29, 2026 11:47 PM (rbvCR)

347 The Man with the Golden Gun is one of the most fun Bond flicks. Cheesy fun.
Posted by: BarelyScaryMary at January 29, 2026 11:42 PM (lpTXP)

The book is different from the movie.

Posted by: Kindltot at January 29, 2026 11:48 PM (rbvCR)

348

When you are retired being an insomniac is no problem.

Posted by: fourseasons at January 29, 2026 11:48 PM (3ek7K)

349 Carmel?

Maybe I can get you a day parking pass.

Maybe

Do you feel lucky?

Posted by: former Carmel Mayor Clint Eastwood at January 29, 2026 11:48 PM (AP7fj)

350 DHS chief Kristi Noem tells ice officers in Minnesota you take your orders from me no Homan! Eric Ericsson red state.

Posted by: exodus 21:22-25 at January 29, 2026 11:44 PM (QV8Hl)
-

Over the last week, I have found almost all of this stuff to be fake news, no matter who's repeating it.

Thanks for playing!

Posted by: Biden's Dog sniffs a whole lotta malarkey, at January 29, 2026 11:49 PM (KSR/Y)

351 When you are retired being an insomniac is no problem.

Posted by: fourseasons

this grasshopper has learned much

Posted by: Blind Monk Miklos of Shaolin at January 29, 2026 11:50 PM (AP7fj)

352 The book is different from the movie.

Posted by: Kindltot at January 29, 2026 11:48 PM (rbvCR)

Read the book years ago. It wasn't cheesy or fun as I recall.

Posted by: BarelyScaryMary at January 29, 2026 11:50 PM (lpTXP)

353
He came from somewhere back in her long ago
The sentimental fool don't see
Tryin' hard to recreate
What had yet to be created once in her life
She musters a smile for his nostalgic tale
Never coming near what he wanted to say
Only to realize it never really was

But what a fool believes, he sees
No wise man has the power to reason away
What seems to be
Is always better than nothing
Than nothing at all

Posted by: Fen at January 29, 2026 11:51 PM (ciYHQ)

354 The ONT is medicine for me, I am accustomed to having my dose anytime between midnight and two am from the east coast. I have always been a night owl, even as a little kid. Please don't change anything or my world will become unbalanced.

Cheers, Horde.

Posted by: Debby Doberman Schultz at January 29, 2026 11:51 PM (0nHVk)

355 Thank you Doof for excellent content, as always.

Piper - I only know you from what you write here but based on that limited data set - I don't think there's a mean bone in your body. Smile.
Posted by: Anonymous Rogue in Kalifornistan (ARiK) at January 29, 2026 11:35 PM (QGaXH)

Appreciate the kind words!

You are correct about Piper. Don't tell her I said that, though.

Posted by: Doof at January 29, 2026 11:51 PM (QMAsf)

356
Amen Debby

Posted by: fourseasons at January 29, 2026 11:51 PM (3ek7K)

357 @346. Arizona. Just a guess.

Posted by: Case at January 29, 2026 11:52 PM (E7+ue)

358 354 The ONT is medicine for me, I am accustomed to having my dose anytime between midnight and two am from the east coast. I have always been a night owl, even as a little kid. Please don't change anything or my world will become unbalanced.

Cheers, Horde.

----------

Tell your doctor about other medications that you may be using. Do not use ONT if you're allergic to ONT.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at January 29, 2026 11:53 PM (+HNx/)

359 When you are retired being an insomniac is no problem.

Posted by: fourseasons at January 29, 2026 11:48 PM (3ek7K)

One of the earliest indications of a depressive period for those that have periods of depression is sleep disruption.
For me it is a sign to up the exercise-sunlight-food-community quotient in my life.

It is a form of self care. Best to be done before it is critical.

Posted by: Kindltot at January 29, 2026 11:53 PM (rbvCR)

360 Cheers, Debby!

Yeah, the ONT is there for us when we're up late & still there in the morning if we fall asleep too soon.

Posted by: JQ at January 29, 2026 11:53 PM (rdVOm)

361 That content is available to paid subscribers only
Posted by: Doof

Hey Joe, Vito

Explain to the nice man how it works

And don't come back with nothin'

Posted by: Late Nite Capo di Miklosio at January 29, 2026 11:53 PM (AP7fj)

362 I paid my mortgage off today. Can I buy a round for the Horde?

Posted by: BarelyScaryMary at January 29, 2026 11:54 PM (lpTXP)

363 362 I paid my mortgage off today. Can I buy a round for the Horde?
Posted by: BarelyScaryMary at January 29, 2026 11:54 PM (lpTXP)
-------

You got Sterno?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at January 29, 2026 11:56 PM (+HNx/)

364
Hubby and I live four blocks from our oldest son, daughter-in-law and four grandchildren.

Daughter-in-law told us the grandchildren think it is magic when they come to our home.

We are so blessed.

Posted by: fourseasons at January 29, 2026 11:56 PM (3ek7K)

365 Amen Debby

Posted by: fourseasons

"Amen Debby" would be a pretty good band name

Posted by: Late Nite Miklosian IPR at January 29, 2026 11:56 PM (AP7fj)

366 347 The Man with the Golden Gun is one of the most fun Bond flicks. Cheesy fun.
Posted by: BarelyScaryMary at January 29, 2026 11:42 PM (lpTXP)

The book is different from the movie.
Posted by: Kindltot

The book 'The Spy Who Loved Me', was vastly different from the movie. In fact, only the title and James Bond are the same. The stories, not so much. Both are very good though.

Posted by: Puddleglum at work at January 29, 2026 11:56 PM (hybOl)

367 I paid my mortgage off today. Can I buy a round for the Horde?
Posted by: BarelyScaryMary
----------

WooHoo!

Congrats on burnin' the mortgage!!!

Posted by: JQ at January 29, 2026 11:56 PM (rdVOm)

368 Daughter-in-law told us the grandchildren think it is magic when they come to our home.

We are so blessed.

------

Grandbabies are awesome.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at January 29, 2026 11:57 PM (+HNx/)

369 I paid my mortgage off today. Can I buy a round for the Horde?
Posted by: BarelyScaryMary at January 29, 2026 11:54 PM (lpTXP)
====

Mazel tov! Shirley Temple, please, two cherries.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at January 29, 2026 11:58 PM (RIvkX)

370 Carmel's a little far from Santa Clara. When Doof was out a few years ago, I picked him up at San Jose airport and we had Mexican food for lunch.
Posted by: Dark Litigator at January 29, 2026 11:44 PM (KAi1n)
====

I was being a little facetious about Carmel. You're a good moron for driving all the way down to San Jose.
Posted by: San Franpsycho at January 29, 2026 11:47 PM (RIvkX)

I enjoyed meeting the artist formerly known as SFGoth!

Posted by: Doof at January 29, 2026 11:58 PM (QMAsf)

371 362 I paid my mortgage off today. Can I buy a round for the Horde?
Posted by: BarelyScaryMary at January 29, 2026 11:54 PM (lpTXP)

BIG congratulations. Truly.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at January 29, 2026 11:58 PM (bss/y)

372 You got Sterno?
Posted by: Cicero

*sigh*

After all these years, the same stupid questions

Posted by: generally Genial bartender Miklos at January 29, 2026 11:58 PM (AP7fj)

373
A dream for many people to be able to pay off their mortgage.

Congratulations Mary and Hubby.

Posted by: fourseasons at January 29, 2026 11:58 PM (3ek7K)

374 The vid of the illegals randomly shooting ARs from the bridge in Dallas needs to be part of a commercial supporting Trump’s ICE operations.

Posted by: Opinion fact at January 29, 2026 11:59 PM (KDPiq)

375 I see microsoft stock was down 10% today.

AI bubble popping or just MSFT has its own issues?

Posted by: 18-1 at January 29, 2026 11:59 PM (sKqQm)

376 Tucker with Brimelow ... really good interview with insights into why any support for "white America" is disdained, even by Republicans. R's are just way too afraid of that "RACIST" label, even now. sad

VDare (Brimelow's old site) was against the open immigration back in the early 90's, and Buckley kicked him out of National Review because of that stance. (Brimelow says Buckley was more reliant on money from National Review than most believed).

https://tinyurl.com/bndwnzkv

Posted by: illiniwek at January 29, 2026 11:59 PM (vbXSk)

377 The ONT is medicine for me, I am accustomed to having my dose anytime between midnight and two am from the east coast. I have always been a night owl, even as a little kid. Please don't change anything or my world will become unbalanced.

Cheers, Horde.
Posted by: Debby Doberman Schultz at January 29, 2026 11:51 PM (0nHVk)

Howdy DDS!

Posted by: Doof at January 30, 2026 12:00 AM (QMAsf)

378 Take a bathroom break. By the time you get back from waiting in line the shitshow will be over.
Posted by: fourseasons

Well that's a double-entendre.
Posted by: Dark Litigator at January 29, 2026 11:43 PM (KAi1n)

See if you can take over the Jumbotrons and sound system, and play ICE arresting violent illegal aliens. For extra points, show Tom Homan doing the arrests. I might consider watching the game for *that* halftime show on screen.

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at January 30, 2026 12:00 AM (S/Y4j)

379 Congrats on burnin' the mortgage!!!

Posted by: JQ

Substitute "mortgage" for "house"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iu-wf_FSTbo

Posted by: generally Genial late Nite DJ Miklos at January 30, 2026 12:00 AM (AP7fj)

380 Hubby and I live four blocks from our oldest son, daughter-in-law and four grandchildren.

Daughter-in-law told us the grandchildren think it is magic when they come to our home.

We are so blessed.

Posted by: fourseasons at January 29, 2026 11:56 PM (3ek7K)

Fourseasons, know that your presence makes a difference to the Grandkids I grew up seeing Grandparents on a daily basis. That was such a huge blessing to my life.

Posted by: BarelyScaryMary at January 30, 2026 12:01 AM (lpTXP)

381 Take a bathroom break. By the time you get back from waiting in line the shitshow will be over.
Posted by: fourseasons

No lines here

I got a back deck

Posted by: Miklos, hearing the Call of nature at January 30, 2026 12:02 AM (AP7fj)

382 David Byrne. Not gay at all.

Posted by: Liberace's Valet at January 30, 2026 12:02 AM (JkO4W)

383 2 days ago, media said Noem was fired.
This morning, they said Trump refused to let her speak at a staff meeting.
And tonight, they tell us she's now calling all the shots at ICE.

You know, I'm starting to think they're just making it all up.

Posted by: Wally at January 30, 2026 12:03 AM (0e5Te)

384 I did hurt some good women. Three of them. I didn't mean to. What are you supposed to do when the love of your life doesn't love you back? Be alone?

So I dated, the sex, the intimacy dulled my heartache. Weeks turn into months, then 6 months and she brings you home to meet the parents, or daydreams out loud about your future together. And then comes the day when she realizes you can't love her because your heart belongs to another. And it always hit them like a copper plated bastard coming out of nowhere.

One of them lost me to the Marine Corps. How callous that must have felt - I'm off to join the foreign legion because there's nothing for me here (especially you)

What an idiot. My sins are many, I have much to pay for.

Pour me another, boss

Posted by: Fen at January 30, 2026 12:03 AM (ciYHQ)

385 I paid my mortgage off today. Can I buy a round for the Horde?
Posted by: BarelyScaryMary

It's a great feeling, isn't it?

Funny part is, now your credit score will drop a few points. Because you're "not demonstrating that you can manage long-term debt."

Posted by: mikeski at January 30, 2026 12:04 AM (VHUov)

386 I paid my mortgage off today. Can I buy a round for the Horde?
Posted by: BarelyScaryMary at January 29, 2026 11:54 PM (lpTXP)

It is too cold to go out in your bare feet to feel if the grass feels different when PIF. But congratulations. How long did you take, and how long was the mortgage?

Posted by: Kindltot at January 30, 2026 12:04 AM (rbvCR)

387 Sorry for the dark, did I leave the mic on?

How about them Caps, eh?

Posted by: Fen at January 30, 2026 12:05 AM (ciYHQ)

388 One of the earliest indications of a depressive period for those that have periods of depression is sleep disruption.
For me it is a sign to up the exercise-sunlight-food-community quotient in my life.
----
Appreciate this comment.

Posted by: AmericanKestrel at January 30, 2026 12:05 AM (RkOfE)

389 Technically speaking, the Harmonica is in tune, being a fixed pitch instrument. A=440hz.
Posted by: Common Tater
----
Presupposes accurate manufacturing and a decent QC department with instruments in calibration.
i.e. : not made in China.

Posted by: buddhaha at January 30, 2026 12:06 AM (qfI/e)

390 I paid my mortgage off today.

Congratulations! Happy for you!

Posted by: AmericanKestrel at January 30, 2026 12:07 AM (RkOfE)

391 Fen, you can either try to apologize, or you can work on forgiving yourself. Or both, of course.

Posted by: Kindltot at January 30, 2026 12:07 AM (rbvCR)

392 BIG congratulations. Truly.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at January 29, 2026 11:58 PM (bss/y)

Thank you. It was a big deal for us. I almost cried at the bank when I made the payoff.

Posted by: BarelyScaryMary at January 30, 2026 12:07 AM (lpTXP)

393 Grandma's house was a couple hours away, so we'd see her on most weekends. Other grandparents lived a whole days' drive away, so only saw them during summer break.

How nice it would've been to see them more often!

Posted by: JQ at January 30, 2026 12:07 AM (rdVOm)

394 If I have a bad night's sleep, 10 minutes of sunshine on my face helps a lot the next night.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at January 30, 2026 12:07 AM (RIvkX)

395 "I see microsoft stock was down 10% today.
AI bubble popping or just MSFT has its own issues?"

idk, one guy said this
"started off with Microsoft stock being splattered for over 10% (after the company won at beat-the-number) because people are concerned about all of its AI-related capex and the commitments it has towards its OpenAI partnership."

High flyers get smacked hard on down days, some times.

Posted by: illiniwek at January 30, 2026 12:08 AM (vbXSk)

396 If I have a bad night's sleep, 10 minutes of sunshine on my face helps a lot the next night.
Posted by: San Franpsycho

Also the remaining kidney

Posted by: "Svetlana" at January 30, 2026 12:09 AM (AP7fj)

397 394 If I have a bad night's sleep, 10 minutes of sunshine on my face helps a lot the next night.

-------

Have you tried aiming it at your shoulder?

It makes me happy.

Posted by: Zombie John Denver at January 30, 2026 12:09 AM (JkO4W)

398 Fourseasons, know that your presence makes a difference to the Grandkids I grew up seeing Grandparents on a daily basis. That was such a huge blessing to my life.
Posted by: BarelyScaryMary at January 30, 2026 12:01 AM (lpTXP)
=====

We all knew whenever I packed a bag and threatened to leave I was heading to grandma's.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at January 30, 2026 12:10 AM (RIvkX)

399 In brighter news, I had the old apple tree topped again. I think it is about 100 years old and it is enormous and sort of rotten, and I am too old to try to climb and use a saw on it.
I did help the arborist pull the hanging branches out of the tree, and drag them to the chipper, and then rake the twigs up.

He offered to hire me if his helper called in sick, so that made me feel good.

Posted by: Kindltot at January 30, 2026 12:10 AM (rbvCR)

400 2 days ago, media said Noem was fired.
This morning, they said Trump refused to let her speak at a staff meeting.
And tonight, they tell us she's now calling all the shots at ICE.

You know, I'm starting to think they're just making it all up.
Posted by: Wally at January 30, 2026 12:03 AM (0e5Te)

I think you're right, that it is made up, but I doubt that it is random. Wish casting or rabble rousing or some such.

Posted by: AmericanKestrel at January 30, 2026 12:10 AM (RkOfE)

401
When we applied for the mortgage loan on this house husband was 78 years old, and I'm not far behind.

We were approved for the loan in one week.

We have moved a lot with his job and have never been approved for a loan in a week.

We don't get it, lol.

Posted by: fourseasons at January 30, 2026 12:11 AM (3ek7K)

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