Mid-Morning Art Thread

[Do not click to embiggen]

Woman in Doorway
Samuel Halpert

Is this great art? No, but it is competently executed, the artist has obvious skill, and there is no obvious political bent to the work. And the scene is sufficiently complex that it suggests questions. What is going on? Who is the woman ascending the stairs? Why didn't John Moses Browning design a .50ACP?

Posted by: CBD at 09:30 AM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Looks like he timed it just right - once again. . .

Posted by: Tonypete at December 12, 2025 09:30 AM (cYBz/)

2 Huh. Btw testing?

Posted by: nurse ratched at December 12, 2025 09:30 AM (HU4DS)

3
ESPONJA!!11!1!!11

Posted by: AltonJackson at December 12, 2025 09:30 AM (tljrc)

4 What?

Posted by: Tonypete at December 12, 2025 09:31 AM (cYBz/)

5 yow!

Posted by: cmeat at December 12, 2025 09:31 AM (R11M+)

6 Title checks out.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at December 12, 2025 09:31 AM (kgE5c)

7 [Do not click to embiggen]
----
Seriously. DON'T!

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at December 12, 2025 09:31 AM (ESVrU)

8 here to suggest noone embiggens this, worse than a rickroll.

Posted by: cmeat at December 12, 2025 09:32 AM (R11M+)

9 And who's the woman coming up the stairs in the bottom left?

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Now With Pumpkin Spice! at December 12, 2025 09:32 AM (L/fGl)

10 I never like going up and down steep staircases like those.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at December 12, 2025 09:32 AM (ESVrU)

11 Not bad, interesting use of space and color. Those stairs do not look safe at all, I would not use them myself.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at December 12, 2025 09:32 AM (WPL6O)

12 Date
1925

Classification
Paintings

Medium
Oil on canvas

Dimensions
Overall: 31 5/8 × 25 5/8in. (80.3 × 65.1 cm)

Accession number
70.1591

Credit line
Whitney Museum of American Art, New York; gift of Sidney Elliott Cohn

Posted by: rhennigantx at December 12, 2025 09:32 AM (gbOdA)

13 But why the Handmaiden LARPer lurking in the basement stairwell?

Posted by: Lizzy at December 12, 2025 09:32 AM (NuV6c)

14 Why didn't John Moses Browning design a .50ACP?

Posted by: CBD at 09:30 AM

Sorry.

Posted by: A Mr. Death, here about the reaping at December 12, 2025 09:32 AM (kgE5c)

15 I like the dark wood against the white walls.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at December 12, 2025 09:33 AM (lQ+/f)

16 The women were angry that day, my friends.

Posted by: George Costanza at December 12, 2025 09:33 AM (2Ez/1)

17 Like this one. Color scheme is perfect and the subject simple.
Would hang, thx CBD

Posted by: Smell the Glove at December 12, 2025 09:33 AM (D+mpw)

18 Thick. Would not hang.

Posted by: Maj. Healey at December 12, 2025 09:34 AM (abIsI)

19 At least she is wearing sensible shoes!

Posted by: Debby Doberman Schultz at December 12, 2025 09:34 AM (0nHVk)

20 Well, they did make a try for the .50 GI in a 1911 a few years back, but it didn't really get off the ground.

Posted by: Robert Plant at December 12, 2025 09:34 AM (PTJlB)

21 Woman coming up the stairs needs a bra.

Posted by: Maj. Healey at December 12, 2025 09:34 AM (abIsI)

22 when old houses settle they can get off kilter.

Posted by: cmeat at December 12, 2025 09:34 AM (R11M+)

23 It's a bit of a challenge for a sniper to hide out in the plant on the windowsill.

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at December 12, 2025 09:34 AM (ESVrU)

24 [Do not click to embiggen]
----
Seriously. DON'T!
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at December 12, 2025 09:31 AM (ESVrU)

Do y'all know just how much the Moron in me wants to do just that right now????

Posted by: Pug Mahon at December 12, 2025 09:34 AM (PSEDc)

25 Ottoman Man is still as nasty as ever.

Posted by: redridinghood at December 12, 2025 09:35 AM (NpAcC)

26 [Do not click to embiggen]
----
Seriously. DON'T!

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel

At least once a year, he's contractually obligated to post that.

Posted by: Brother Tim (102mm/W59), Keeper of the Tim Continuum at December 12, 2025 09:35 AM (OUMaO)

27 Sp the woman in blue is carrying something orange and the woman in orange is following her?

Sounds...suspicion.

Its too small for an overcoat. The woman in orange has a hat and a shirt so...stolen pants?

Posted by: 18-1 at December 12, 2025 09:35 AM (sKqQm)

28 Chick coming up the stairs seems to have a decent rack.

Posted by: Bulg at December 12, 2025 09:35 AM (77rzZ)

29 Like this one. Color scheme is perfect and the subject simple.

Posted by: Smell the Glove at December 12, 2025 09:33 AM (D+mpw)

Yup. Skill is more important than some rarified social philosophy that irritates most people!

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at December 12, 2025 09:35 AM (n9ltV)

30 Meh. Boring. Some nice framing and composition, but that’s about it. TBWNH.

Posted by: Elric the Blade at December 12, 2025 09:35 AM (yhEB+)

31 "MOM!! I PROMISE I WON'T THROW THE FOOTBALL INSIDE! CAN I PLEASE HAVE IT BACK NOWWWWWW???"

Posted by: BEN ROETHLISBERGER at December 12, 2025 09:35 AM (NuV6c)

32 Wide birthing hips.

Posted by: Potential suitors at December 12, 2025 09:35 AM (2Ez/1)

33 I see cankles.

Posted by: redridinghood at December 12, 2025 09:35 AM (NpAcC)

34 Harriett still refused to believe Maude when she said surprising people with a lampshade on you head is not funny.

Posted by: Archimedes at December 12, 2025 09:36 AM (Riz8t)

35 21 that's an old lamp on the floor in the corner under the stairs.

Posted by: cmeat at December 12, 2025 09:36 AM (R11M+)

36 Do y'all know just how much the Moron in me wants to do just that right now????

Posted by: Pug Mahon at December 12, 2025 09:34 AM (PSEDc)

No...do what you are told like a good little HotAir reader.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at December 12, 2025 09:36 AM (n9ltV)

37 Grandparents had a house with staircases like that. We were admonished not to play on them.

We played on them.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at December 12, 2025 09:37 AM (NwnyJ)

38 Harvey Weinstein may have been the model for Ottoman Man.

Posted by: Debby Doberman Schultz at December 12, 2025 09:37 AM (0nHVk)

39 21 Woman coming up the stairs needs a bra.
Posted by: Maj. Healey at December 12, 2025 09:34 AM
###

You know about the cup sizes?

Posted by: Frank Costanza at December 12, 2025 09:37 AM (2Ez/1)

40 When will we get back to good sensible landscape art from Kincaid?

Posted by: Maj. Healey at December 12, 2025 09:38 AM (abIsI)

41 I like the contrast between the white walls and the dark wood. Nice pop of green on the window sill.

Posted by: Tuna at December 12, 2025 09:38 AM (lJ0H4)

42 No...do what you are told like a good little HotAir reader.

You are using the force here. The dark side of the force.

Posted by: 18-1 at December 12, 2025 09:38 AM (sKqQm)

43
It's like the woman in the doorway is paused to hear the woman ascending the stairs, suggesting motion rather than portraying it.

I like this very much. A painting that makes you wonder.

Posted by: Auspex at December 12, 2025 09:38 AM (Y8DZL)

44 Why are the plants growing *away* from the light coming through the window?

Posted by: red speck at December 12, 2025 09:39 AM (Ve/HL)

45 Don't embiggen pic, reminds me of this -

https://youtu.be/6goQBx0zjyY

Posted by: Chuck Martel at December 12, 2025 09:39 AM (Dv3i1)

46 >>the woman in blue is carrying something orange

MY FOOTBALL!

Posted by: BEN ROETHLISBERGER at December 12, 2025 09:39 AM (NuV6c)

47 Is that plant on the right a ficus?

Posted by: Jeffrey Toobin at December 12, 2025 09:39 AM (2Ez/1)

48 I never like going up and down steep staircases like those.
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel

The back staircase at my grandparent's farmhouse had a rise of eight feet and a run of about the same. You had to pull yourself up using the banister. Every one that used it fell up or down at least once.

Posted by: Tonypete at December 12, 2025 09:39 AM (cYBz/)

49 Painting needs a cat on the window sill.

Posted by: dantesed at December 12, 2025 09:39 AM (Oy/m2)

50 The woman in the blue dress needs better underwear.

Posted by: redridinghood at December 12, 2025 09:39 AM (NpAcC)

51 Could be the Fields Rooming House, but Hillary Brooke was the only female who lived there and she was a blonde.

Posted by: Stinky Davis at December 12, 2025 09:39 AM (oftw2)

52 >36 Do y'all know just how much the Moron in me wants to do just that right now????

Posted by: Pug Mahon at December 12, 2025 09:34 AM (PSEDc)

No...do what you are told like a good little HotAir reader.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at December 12, 2025 09:36 AM (n9ltV)

https://tinyurl.com/uf3ackzt

Posted by: Heavy Meta at December 12, 2025 09:39 AM (GTqXr)

53 Alt title: Sad Boobs and Buttcracks -- a Study in Red and Blue.

Posted by: red speck at December 12, 2025 09:39 AM (Ve/HL)

54 Posted by: redridinghood

What makes for a cankle (?) because the woman in the blue dress does not look like she has chubby ankles, although the right in slimmer than the left.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at December 12, 2025 09:40 AM (lQ+/f)

55 Jewish home, I think. That’s a Mezuzah in the left foreground, no?

Posted by: Elric the Blade at December 12, 2025 09:40 AM (yhEB+)

56 >53 Alt title: Sad Boobs and Buttcracks -- a Study in Red and Blue.

Posted by: red speck at December 12, 2025 09:39 AM (Ve/HL)

Speaking of flapjacks...

Posted by: Heavy Meta at December 12, 2025 09:40 AM (GTqXr)

57 This art makes me angry.

Posted by: Weasel at December 12, 2025 09:40 AM (rV4Iu)

58 here to suggest noone embiggens this, worse than a rickroll.
Posted by: cmeat at December 12, 2025 09:32 AM (R11M+)

Damn CBD's older sister!

Posted by: I used to have a different nic at December 12, 2025 09:40 AM (ExV1e)

59 Oh man, where to start

the artist uses shading to add detail to the blue woman's butt
who's the red handmaiden at lower left?
the stairs are a mess
I rate this as Meh with oakleaf clusters
would sell to unsuspecting rube

Posted by: Don Black at December 12, 2025 09:41 AM (ZxPkt)

60 Escher: An Early Draft.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Now With Pumpkin Spice! at December 12, 2025 09:41 AM (L/fGl)

61 50 The woman in the blue dress needs better underwear.
Posted by: redridinghood

Probably pantyless, to have a nooner with the super?

Posted by: Maj. Healey at December 12, 2025 09:41 AM (abIsI)

62 The young lady with the fruit bowl is just asking for it with her magnificent ass and tight hair.

I wouldn't hang but I would bang.

Posted by: Rev. Wishbone at December 12, 2025 09:41 AM (1zOXE)

63 "Embiggen" needs to find its way into more people's lexicons.

Posted by: XTC at December 12, 2025 09:41 AM (UnA8+)

64 The back staircase at my grandparent's farmhouse had a rise of eight feet and a run of about the same. You had to pull yourself up using the banister. Every one that used it fell up or down at least once.
Posted by: Tonypete

Look, Fat, falling upstairs three times on Air Force One is a record that will never be broken.

Posted by: Scranton Joe With Squirts at December 12, 2025 09:42 AM (oftw2)

65 50 The woman in the blue dress needs better underwear.

++++
Have her come see me.

Posted by: Sid Farkus at December 12, 2025 09:43 AM (2Ez/1)

66 I like this painting because it has a story to tell.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at December 12, 2025 09:43 AM (A0sqA)

67 "Embiggen" needs to find its way into more people's lexicons.
---
"A noble spirit embiggens the smallest man."

Posted by: Jebediah Springfield at December 12, 2025 09:43 AM (ESVrU)

68 Probably pantyless, to have a nooner with the super?
Posted by: Maj. Healey

I'm not the Super! I'm the Concierge!

Posted by: Ground Floor Gertie at December 12, 2025 09:43 AM (oftw2)

69
"Oh, it looks like the sun's about to set. Time to put a bowl of meat at the end of the driveway, to keep the Somalis away from the dog."

Posted by: Minnesota Housewife at December 12, 2025 09:43 AM (BI5O2)

70 > I like this painting because it has a story to tell.

Posted by: San Franpsycho
----
well clue me in

Posted by: Don Black at December 12, 2025 09:44 AM (ZxPkt)

71 >66 I like this painting because it has a story to tell.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at December 12, 2025 09:43 AM (A0sqA)

Every picture tells a story.

Posted by: Rod Stewart at December 12, 2025 09:44 AM (GTqXr)

72 This is one of those 20th century paintings that leave me asking: "So what?" Yes, it isn't abstract. The scene is easy to imagine. But why should the audience care? However, it is better executed than his NYC cityscapes which look amateurish.

Posted by: JTB at December 12, 2025 09:44 AM (yTvNw)

73 I can smell this scene.

Posted by: The Nose Knows at December 12, 2025 09:45 AM (oftw2)

74 >>"Embiggen" needs to find its way into more people's lexicons.

I'm guessing this painting did not embiggen Samuel Halpert's wallet.

Embiggen!

Posted by: Lizzy at December 12, 2025 09:45 AM (NuV6c)

75 Why would you need a .50?

Obviously to make up for not having the finesse to rapidly place two to the chest, one to the skull in 9mm.

Heathen.

Posted by: nurse ratched at December 12, 2025 09:45 AM (mT+6a)

76 That’s a Mezuzah in the left foreground, no?

No. It's the intercom, but back then they worked in semaphore instead of electricity.

Posted by: Robert Plant at December 12, 2025 09:45 AM (PTJlB)

77 >73 I can smell this scene.

Posted by: The Nose Knows at December 12, 2025 09:45 AM (oftw2)

I just crop dusted my sister.

Posted by: Gal in the blue dress at December 12, 2025 09:46 AM (GTqXr)

78 What makes for a cankle (?) because the woman in the blue dress does not look like she has chubby ankles, although the right in slimmer than the left.
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at December 12, 2025 09:40 AM (lQ+
*******
Usually, it's when there's no definition between the ankle and the leg or there is swelling in the leg.

Posted by: redridinghood at December 12, 2025 09:46 AM (NpAcC)

79 I may be crazy, but I'm not stupid.

When I read "Do not click to embiggen," I think "okay."

Posted by: no one at December 12, 2025 09:47 AM (W7XSX)

80 "Embiggen" needs to find its way into more people's lexicons.
---
"A noble spirit embiggens the smallest man."
Posted by: Jebediah Springfield

“I find your attitude most deleterious to the morale of this unit.”
- Word a Day Radar O'Reilly

Posted by: Tonypete at December 12, 2025 09:47 AM (cYBz/)

81 I can also hear the creaking of the stair treads.

Posted by: Lend Me Your Ears at December 12, 2025 09:47 AM (oftw2)

82 What makes for a cankle (?) because the woman in the blue dress does not look like she has chubby ankles, although the right in slimmer than the left.
Posted by: FenelonSpoke
__________

Respectfully disagree. Thems cankles.

Posted by: Biff Pocoroba at December 12, 2025 09:47 AM (XvL8K)

83
Symbolism appears when you seek it; making Weasel angry is no doubt what the artist had in mind.

Would hang.

Posted by: Auspex at December 12, 2025 09:48 AM (Y8DZL)

84 Looks like a Hopper painting!

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at December 12, 2025 09:48 AM (wzUl9)

85 "Sad Boobs and Buttcracks" was the working title of the movie that would ultimately be released as "Bedknobs and Broomsticks" at the insistence of Angela Landsbury.

Posted by: Movie nerd at December 12, 2025 09:48 AM (2Ez/1)

86 Does the painting elicit any emotion or make you tell a story about it to yourself. Or do you just find it aesthetically pleasing beyond normal.

That’s how I personally judge whether a painting is better than good.

Posted by: the way I see it at December 12, 2025 09:48 AM (KDPiq)

87 66 >>>I like this painting because it has a story to tell.

I have Type II diabetes but I manage it well
I like this painting because it has a story to tell
I take two daily Jardiance at each day start-a-a-rt...

Shit. I have to get out more.

Posted by: red speck at December 12, 2025 09:48 AM (Ve/HL)

88
Dick head on the steps!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM} at December 12, 2025 09:48 AM (xG4kz)

89 This week's theme has been all about the elongation of body parts in paintings. Naturally, CBD selects elongated buttcracks and saggy boob for Friday.
Actual theme: The Aristocrats!?!

Posted by: Lizzy at December 12, 2025 09:49 AM (NuV6c)

90 Both these chicks were hot stuff before electricity.

Posted by: Al Czervik at December 12, 2025 09:49 AM (oftw2)

91 Posted by: Biff Pocoroba at December 12, 2025 09:47 AM (XvL8K)

Oh, well. She's long past being worried about what people think of her cankles.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at December 12, 2025 09:49 AM (lQ+/f)

92 84 Yes, Wolfus, I thought it was a Hopper at first.

Posted by: Bulg at December 12, 2025 09:49 AM (77rzZ)

93 Painting doesn't fit with my decor.

Posted by: Ben Had at December 12, 2025 09:49 AM (sDNVV)

94 "Respectfully disagree. Thems cankles."

Is this about me?

Posted by: Old Lady Rodham at December 12, 2025 09:49 AM (2Ez/1)

95 I like the curve of the underside of the stairs. In old homes like this (like 17th-18th century, they would plaster the underside of the stairs. Always struck me as odd, but I guess it's a way to keep from having to oil/varnish the underside of the stairs.

Posted by: GWB at December 12, 2025 09:50 AM (yT3KW)

96 What devilry is this? Do not embiggen leads me to defy authority. Meh, we've seen that one before and it's no longer shocking. Would not hang today's offering.

Posted by: neverenoughcaffeine at December 12, 2025 09:51 AM (2NHgQ)

97 If he would have painted a man in a gangster suit and hat coming up the stairs it would have told a better story.

Posted by: the way I see it at December 12, 2025 09:51 AM (KDPiq)

98 Posted by: Bulg at December 12, 2025 09:49 AM (77rzZ

Yes, it does look like his style.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at December 12, 2025 09:52 AM (lQ+/f)

99
A dog would make this scene more cheerful. Not art.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at December 12, 2025 09:52 AM (tgvbd)

100
[Do not click to embiggen]
----
Seriously. DON'T!
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel

I LOLed.

I warned all y'all yesterday about the summoning power of certain prefixes, but would all y'all listen? Noooooo!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM} at December 12, 2025 09:52 AM (xG4kz)

101 The lack of handicap access is troubling to this modern, urban mind.

Posted by: The Gimp at December 12, 2025 09:53 AM (oftw2)

102 Needs Tommy Udo shoving an old lady down the stairs.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at December 12, 2025 09:53 AM (kpS4V)

103 Would hang.
Posted by: Auspex

It may not be the best painting in the world but hanging the artist seems a little extreme.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Now With Pumpkin Spice! at December 12, 2025 09:53 AM (L/fGl)

104 97 If he would have painted a man in a gangster suit and hat coming up the stairs it would have told a better story.
Posted by: the way I see it at December 12, 2025 09:51 AM (KDPiq)

Samurai Armor complete with Kabuto helmet.

Posted by: XTC at December 12, 2025 09:53 AM (UnA8+)

105
"You can come up, Mabel! They're done shooting! Looks like everyone's dead."

Posted by: Chicago Housewife at December 12, 2025 09:53 AM (BI5O2)

106 Hopper has crisper lines but it does resemble the style somewhat.

Posted by: the way I see it at December 12, 2025 09:53 AM (KDPiq)

107
That is one wonky landing on that upper stairway.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM} at December 12, 2025 09:54 AM (xG4kz)

108 If he would have painted a man in a gangster suit and hat coming up the stairs it would have told a better story.
Posted by: the way I see it at December 12, 2025 09:51 AM (KDPiq)

Samurai Armor complete with Kabuto helmet.

Beau Biden naked and painted blue.

Posted by: Archimedes at December 12, 2025 09:54 AM (Riz8t)

109
I never like going up and down steep staircases like those.
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at December 12, 2025 09:32 AM (ESVrU)

Our house in Ohio was built in 1869. The stairs to the basement were not only steep, but the stairs themselves were unevenly spaced.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at December 12, 2025 09:54 AM (tgvbd)

110 I embiggened, even tho CBD warned me! Aaaagh!

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at December 12, 2025 09:54 AM (kpS4V)

111 I’m basically the entire Lot family. “Do not click to embiggen”. I am a pillar of salt now, thank you so much. Someone is going to eventually knock the little plant off the window sill.

Posted by: banana Dream at December 12, 2025 09:54 AM (3uBP9)

112 Wasn’t global warming supposed to kill winter? Someone forgot to tell Chicago. lol.

Posted by: Its Go Time Donald at December 12, 2025 09:55 AM (9iyS+)

113
“Do not click to embiggen”

The "Wet Paint" of the Art Thread.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at December 12, 2025 09:55 AM (tgvbd)

114 I too thought it was Hopperesque, but Hopper usually has that phosphorescent white deployed in his paintings.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at December 12, 2025 09:55 AM (kpS4V)

115 [Do not click to embiggen]

Is this great art? No, but it is competently executed, the artist has obvious skill, and there is no obvious political bent to the work. And the scene is sufficiently complex that it suggests questions. What is going on? Who is the woman ascending the stairs? Why didn't John Moses Browning design a .50ACP?

The two obvious unasked questions this morning:

Why didn't JMB (PBUH) jump straight to the greatest of all handgun calibers, the .41 Magnum?

Why should we not click to embiggen?

Posted by: Duncanthrax at December 12, 2025 09:55 AM (0sNs1)

116 A dog would make this scene more cheerful. Not art.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at December 12, 2025 09:52 AM (tgvbd)

The chick with boobs around her waist coming up the stairs fits the bill nicely.

Posted by: Typical piggish Moron at December 12, 2025 09:56 AM (n9ltV)

117 Only reason I wanted to embiggen is to see if my guess was right.

I figure the horde would tell me soon enough.

Posted by: the way I see it at December 12, 2025 09:56 AM (KDPiq)

118 Good news, everyone! Jesus is back!

Noted prosperity-gospel Televangelist Jesse Duplantis explains when you see him, you 'see the Father' and 'God incarnate.'

He later adds "you mad at me because I live in a mansion? I'm just acting like my father, because he's living in a mansion."

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Now With Pumpkin Spice! at December 12, 2025 09:56 AM (L/fGl)

119 I never click the Mystery Click

Until I am told not to.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at December 12, 2025 09:56 AM (A0sqA)

120
Wasn’t global warming supposed to kill winter? Someone forgot to tell Chicago. lol.
Posted by: Its Go Time Donald at December 12, 2025 09:55 AM (9iyS+)

It's "Climate Change" and it's caused by you, Mr. and Mrs. Republican!

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at December 12, 2025 09:56 AM (tgvbd)

121 The Paolo, how you say, "embiggens" often.

Posted by: The Paolo at December 12, 2025 09:56 AM (77rzZ)

122 I've got short rib ragu simmering in the crockpot. Added Calabrian chilis to punch it up.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at December 12, 2025 09:56 AM (kpS4V)

123 Sad Boobs and Buttcracks Forever

Posted by: the Outlaws at December 12, 2025 09:57 AM (PSEDc)

124 What is going on? Who is the woman ascending the stairs?

**********

Tread carefully, CBD.
I've been stairing at this for a while and the scene obviously suggests more than one story but we should avoid flights of fancy just in case, or things might spiral out of control.

Posted by: muldoon at December 12, 2025 09:57 AM (/iMjX)

125 That is Taylor Swift turning her back on her boyfriend after he dropped two straight passes, right in his hands, in the 4th Q against the Texans - the second leading to a Texans pick. She is thinking "Another man I've ruined."

Posted by: An Observation sez Trump is my President at December 12, 2025 09:57 AM (Da7Vv)

126 The stairs to the attic in my grandparent's home were ridiculously steep. And of course I was warned not to ascend them, which was like waving a red cape in front of a bull.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at December 12, 2025 09:57 AM (n9ltV)

127 @115 aka whatever you do, do not push that red button!

Posted by: Chairman LMAO at December 12, 2025 09:57 AM (36PRH)

128 "Come on up, Ethel. I'll just be a few minutes tidying up before your next 'client' gets here."

Posted by: The Brothel Maid Service, Inc. at December 12, 2025 09:57 AM (2Ez/1)

129 That is one wonky landing on that upper stairway.
Posted by: Krebs v Carnot
______

And the steps looks to be spiral, so that slope must be brutal.

Posted by: Biff Pocoroba at December 12, 2025 09:58 AM (XvL8K)

130 I embiggened, even tho CBD warned me! Aaaagh!
Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at December 12, 2025 09:54 AM

You also don't wear pants in the Book Thread, even tho The Perfessor warns you! (But no "Aaaagh!" from me. I report, you decide.)

Posted by: Bob from NSA at December 12, 2025 09:58 AM (0sNs1)

131 >>>[Do not click to embiggen]

Easily the cruelest of the COBs.

Posted by: No Name Today at December 12, 2025 09:58 AM (8mulE)

132
The chick with boobs around her waist coming up the stairs fits the bill nicely.
Posted by: Typical piggish Moron

Nancy Pelosi
On the stairway
With a hammer

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM} at December 12, 2025 09:58 AM (xG4kz)

133 Our house in Ohio was built in 1869. The stairs to the basement were not only steep, but the stairs themselves were unevenly spaced.
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh

I don't wanna go down to the basement. (There's something down there).

Posted by: Joey Ramone 1976 at December 12, 2025 09:58 AM (oftw2)

134 I've got short rib ragu simmering in the crockpot. Added Calabrian chilis to punch it up.
Posted by: All Hail Eris

Uh-oh. Calabri chilis will get you in hot water with Mario Rubio.

Posted by: Bulg at December 12, 2025 09:59 AM (77rzZ)

135 That'll teach 'em!

British judge fines migrant family £1 each for stealing £1.2 million

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Now With Pumpkin Spice! at December 12, 2025 09:59 AM (L/fGl)

136 Posted by: muldoon at December 12, 2025 09:57 AM (/iMjX)

You are too full of baluster to get a rise out of me!

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at December 12, 2025 09:59 AM (n9ltV)

137 >>The lack of handicap access is troubling to this modern, urban mind.

Uh, have you met my neighbor, Christina?

Posted by: Andrew Wyeth at December 12, 2025 09:59 AM (NuV6c)

138 I um, have a GLAVIN, Debigulator, for mhay mhay anyone who needs one...

Posted by: John Frink at December 12, 2025 10:00 AM (y3u3n)

139 It’s nice how she worked the color of the bucket into the rest of her attire though.

Posted by: banana Dream at December 12, 2025 10:00 AM (3uBP9)

140 a man in a gangster suit and hat coming up the stairs
Samurai Armor complete with Kabuto helmet.

Pizza delivery guy, and we'd be here all day writing plots for it.

Posted by: Way, Way Downriver at December 12, 2025 10:00 AM (zdLoL)

141 Nancy Pelosi
On the stairway
With a hammer
Posted by: Krebs v Carnot

Hey, Nancy, that's my hammer, dammit! Give it back!
-- Paul Pelosi

Posted by: Bulg at December 12, 2025 10:00 AM (77rzZ)

142 Easily the cruelest of the COBs.
Posted by: No Name Today

He's cruel, but he's fair.

Posted by: Mostly Cruel, Though. at December 12, 2025 10:00 AM (oftw2)

143 I would hang but change title to Ma Barker Gang Meeting

Posted by: the way I see it at December 12, 2025 10:01 AM (KDPiq)

144 The stairs to the attic in my grandparent's home were ridiculously steep. And of course I was warned not to ascend them, which was like waving a red cape in front of a bull.
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo

Or telling us not to embiggen.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Now With Pumpkin Spice! at December 12, 2025 10:01 AM (L/fGl)

145 Wakes up
Scratches
Look's around
Dang. Great art! One could sit and look at it and create a whole story. Fun!
Goes looking for coffee.

Posted by: Diogenes at December 12, 2025 10:01 AM (2WIwB)

146 "Why didn't John Moses Browning design a .50ACP?"

So there is a sniper hidden in the background.

Posted by: tankdemon at December 12, 2025 10:02 AM (0iZzW)

147 I'm inclined to raise the bar on these puns, one step at a time.

Posted by: Oh, no... at December 12, 2025 10:03 AM (2Ez/1)

148
The cat in that dwelling will return that plant to its rightful place -- on the floor -- in short order.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM} at December 12, 2025 10:03 AM (xG4kz)

149 Or telling us not to embiggen.
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Now With Pumpkin Spice! at December 12, 2025 10:01 AM (L/fGl)

I'm so tempted to...

Posted by: It's me donna at December 12, 2025 10:03 AM (VE6XX)

150 Oh look, it's a future coprolite.

Posted by: Archimedes at December 12, 2025 10:04 AM (Riz8t)

151 Who is the woman ascending the stairs?

There are two (2) human figures in the frame, so,
somebody is about to get "ascended." It's a Rule.

Posted by: Way, Way Downriver at December 12, 2025 10:04 AM (zdLoL)

152 9 And who's the woman coming up the stairs in the bottom left?
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Now With Pumpkin Spice! at December 12, 2025 09:32 AM (L/fGl)

Before the internet, your NSA monitor sometimes had to make housecalls.

Posted by: tankdemon at December 12, 2025 10:04 AM (0iZzW)

153 I am doing some interactive art and putting accompanying sounds with the painting . Mini Bluetooth speaker behind the canvas.

Posted by: the way I see it at December 12, 2025 10:04 AM (KDPiq)

154 >>> "Why didn't John Moses Browning design a .50ACP?"

So there is a sniper hidden in the background.
Posted by: tankdemon at December 12, 2025 10:02 AM (0iZzW)

CBD is the sniper. Very meta.

Posted by: banana Dream at December 12, 2025 10:05 AM (3uBP9)

155 147 I'm inclined to raise the bar on these puns, one step at a time.
Posted by: Oh, no... at December 12, 2025 10:03 AM (2Ez/1)

Morons are always willing to go on flights of fancy with these puns.

Posted by: tankdemon at December 12, 2025 10:05 AM (0iZzW)

156 The woman on the stairway is sure that all that glitters is gold.

Posted by: Led Zeppelin at December 12, 2025 10:06 AM (2Ez/1)

157
"... he fixes the cable?"

-- Commentary on the Cinema of Karl Hungus

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM} at December 12, 2025 10:07 AM (xG4kz)

158 WTF

Posted by: Denny Crane - CBD is a BASTARD at December 12, 2025 10:07 AM (i49OE)

159 a noble spirit embiggens the smallest man
- Jebedaia Springfield

Posted by: Its Go Time Donald at December 12, 2025 10:07 AM (9iyS+)

160 If we deny our baser instincts then we become mutants worthy of scorn.

youtube.com/watch?v=0aY6PFccu-k&list =RD0aY6PFccu-k&start_radio=1

one space because I'm lazy

Posted by: Rev. Wishbone at December 12, 2025 10:08 AM (1zOXE)

161 Morning.

Posted by: Robert, The Love Walrus at December 12, 2025 10:09 AM (1Yy3c)

162 Alternate take: That is not a stairwell on the left, it's an alcove. The lady in red is not ascending, she is a severed torso propped against the wall. The woman in the dress is carrying a surgical tray full of freshly harvested organs from the traveling salesman in the bathtub upstairs, sedated and packed in ice. Sweeny Todd's Boarding House.

Too graphic?

Posted by: muldoon at December 12, 2025 10:09 AM (/iMjX)

163 159 a noble spirit embiggens the smallest man
- Jebedaia Springfield

----
“My Man Stands Out,” Julia Lee and Her Boy Friends (1950)

https://youtu.be/MrU63AFRQPk

Posted by: Double Entendre at December 12, 2025 10:09 AM (2Ez/1)

164 Air rescues in Washington state ongoing for those who failed to heed evacuation order.

Posted by: one hour sober at December 12, 2025 10:09 AM (Y1sOo)

165 40 When will we get back to good sensible landscape art from Kincaid?
Posted by: Maj. Healey at December 12, 2025 09:38 AM (abIsI)

I would have thought you already got more Kincaid than you can handle this month.

Posted by: tankdemon at December 12, 2025 10:09 AM (0iZzW)

166
It's no Stairway to Heaven, that's for sure.

Nice chenille robe, toots

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM} at December 12, 2025 10:10 AM (xG4kz)

167
Arrrrrrgh! Cankles!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM} at December 12, 2025 10:10 AM (xG4kz)

168 Crude, would not hang.

Posted by: whig at December 12, 2025 10:11 AM (WDjG6)

169 Alternate take: That is not a stairwell on the left, it's an alcove. The lady in red is not ascending, she is a severed torso propped against the wall. The woman in the dress is carrying a surgical tray full of freshly harvested organs from the traveling salesman in the bathtub upstairs, sedated and packed in ice. Sweeny Todd's Boarding House.

Too graphic?
Posted by: muldoon at December 12, 2025 10:09 AM (/iMjX)

Cannibal Corpse would reject it for not being graphic enough.

Posted by: Robert, The Love Walrus at December 12, 2025 10:11 AM (1Yy3c)

170 There is a formula for stair tread, riser, and length of run that allows you to build even a steep stair that has a natural feel to it. And there is another system for making a spiral-step landing. I made one once for a tricky alcove, then altered the room and did away with it and kind of miss it, it being all artsy-craftsy and all.

It almost goes without saying that you can also deliberately get that formula wrong, and Hitchcock all and sundry to their deaths.

Posted by: Way, Way Downriver at December 12, 2025 10:11 AM (zdLoL)

171 Alternate take: That is not a stairwell on the left, it's an alcove. The lady in red is not ascending, she is a severed torso propped against the wall. The woman in the dress is carrying a surgical tray full of freshly harvested organs from the traveling salesman in the bathtub upstairs, sedated and packed in ice. Sweeny Todd's Boarding House.

Too graphic?
Posted by: muldoon at December 12, 2025 10:09 AM (/iMjX)

No, that actually makes the painting better.

Posted by: Denny Crane - CBD is STILL a BASTARD at December 12, 2025 10:12 AM (i49OE)

172 135 That'll teach 'em!

British judge fines migrant family £1 each for stealing £1.2 million
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Now With Pumpkin Spice!

I'm pretty sure in today's society rhat the number one job for a judge is to demoralize the law abiding citizen.

Posted by: Chuck Martel at December 12, 2025 10:12 AM (Dv3i1)

173 162 Alternate take: That is not a stairwell on the left, it's an alcove. The lady in red is not ascending, she is a severed torso propped against the wall. The woman in the dress is carrying a surgical tray full of freshly harvested organs from the traveling salesman in the bathtub upstairs, sedated and packed in ice. Sweeny Todd's Boarding House.

Too graphic?
Posted by: muldoon
=======
And then the murders started--

Too late?

Posted by: whig at December 12, 2025 10:13 AM (WDjG6)

174
That is not a stairwell on the left, it's an alcove.

There is, however, a bathroom on the right ... from which we, the viewers, are emerging.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM} at December 12, 2025 10:13 AM (xG4kz)

175 Why should we not click to embiggen?

Posted by: Duncanthrax

You really oughtta, man.

Posted by: Brother Tim (102mm/W59), Keeper of the Tim Continuum at December 12, 2025 10:13 AM (OUMaO)

176 Has anybody seen Doof today?

Fox News: Pickleball player plunges to his death in 3-story fall after climbing over safety rail to retrieve ball

Posted by: Bulg at December 12, 2025 10:14 AM (77rzZ)

177 175 Why should we not click to embiggen?

Posted by: Duncanthrax

=========
Depends on whether you are wearing pants. Might find pants constraining if you click.

Posted by: whig at December 12, 2025 10:15 AM (WDjG6)

178
You really oughtta, man.
Posted by: Brother Tim (102mm/W59), Keeper of the Tim Continuum

Great will be your reward!

No, really! Really, really great!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM} at December 12, 2025 10:16 AM (xG4kz)

179 Many things are off in this painting. Not only the plants. The whole room. The panes of glass, the stair steps, the flooring doesn't match. No, I don't like it. It looks like it was painted in steps and the steps are not tied in together like they should be.

Posted by: Case at December 12, 2025 10:16 AM (G1OIb)

180 Self described "Black, queer, gender-fluid, associate pastor" arrested for stealing $3 million by way of Black Lives Matter.

https://is.gd/U30dEb9

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Now With Pumpkin Spice! at December 12, 2025 10:16 AM (L/fGl)

181 it suggests questions.

What twinkle toed communist Hoosier GOPe cock-sucker just signed his own death warrant. Or at least failed badly enough that I have to look him up so I can not vote for him.

Posted by: DaveA at December 12, 2025 10:17 AM (FhXTo)

182
There's a woman ascending the stairs
Some say that she's always been there
And a ghost dressed in blue
Haunts the halls on Floor Two
On Floor Three, your place is a chair.

Posted by: naturalfake at December 12, 2025 10:17 AM (iJfKG)

183 180 Self described "Black, queer, gender-fluid, associate pastor" arrested for stealing $3 million by way of Black Lives Matter.

https://is.gd/U30dEb9
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Now With Pumpkin Spice! at December 12, 2025 10:16 AM (L/fGl)

He’ll get a 30 day suspended sentence and promise to never do it again. But keep the money of course.

Posted by: Its Go Time Donald at December 12, 2025 10:18 AM (9iyS+)

184
Hello. Ned!
How do you do!
Tell me, tell me
What is new?

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM} at December 12, 2025 10:19 AM (xG4kz)

185 And the scene is sufficiently complex that it suggests questions.

One might even say it insists upon itself.

Posted by: Archimedes at December 12, 2025 10:19 AM (Riz8t)

186 Fox News: Pickleball player plunges to his death in 3-story fall after climbing over safety rail to retrieve ball
Posted by: Bulg

More like Pickeball enthusiast arrested after violating city noise ordinance. Neighbor Gladys Kravitz explained, "That Mr. Doof was pickleballing day and night and I found it obscene because of the loud noises he was making hitting those balls hard with his partner." "Why couldn't that man pick up a decent sport like Tennis instead."

Officer Muldoon in Car 54 which responded to the call, when asked for a response said, " You can't just play pickleball wherever and whenever you feel like it. We got laws and morals in this city!"

The accused, Mr. Doof, was unavailable for comment for this story as he is currently in maximum security lockdown for trying to play solo pickleball in his cell.

Posted by: whig at December 12, 2025 10:21 AM (WDjG6)

187 Self described "Black, queer, gender-fluid, associate pastor" arrested for stealing $3 million by way of Black Lives Matter.

So many buttons for that sweating meme guy to choose from.

Posted by: t-bird at December 12, 2025 10:22 AM (T7fic)

188 Why didn't John Moses Browning design a .50ACP?
----------------
Cuz, you'll shoot your eye out, kid.

Posted by: Pudinhead at December 12, 2025 10:23 AM (Wg6v7)

189 British judge fines migrant family £1 each for stealing £1.2 million
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Now With Pumpkin Spice! at December 12, 2025 09:59 AM (L/fGl)

That's a heck of a big family!

Posted by: GWB at December 12, 2025 10:23 AM (O9D0G)

190 187 Self described "Black, queer, gender-fluid, associate pastor" arrested for stealing $3 million by way of Black Lives Matter.

So many buttons for that sweating meme guy to choose from.
Posted by: t-bird

Rewritten, "Weirdo sex pervert pastor steals millions from his own fake charity"

Posted by: whig at December 12, 2025 10:24 AM (WDjG6)

191 I'm pretty sure in today's society that the number one job for a “judge” is to demoralize the law abiding citizen.
——-

True enough, but it’s clear they apparently don’t have any education rooted in even a cursory look at history, because there’s only one way this kind of jiggery-pokery ever resolves. I’m thankful I’ve lived long enough to see it, I can at least go out laughing my ass off.

Posted by: Common Tater at December 12, 2025 10:25 AM (04lxq)

192 Rewritten, "Weirdo sex pervert pastor steals millions from his own fake charity"
Posted by: whig at December 12, 2025 10:24 AM (WDjG6)

If it's a fake charity then was it really stealing?

Posted by: Robert, The Love Walrus at December 12, 2025 10:25 AM (1Yy3c)

193 Was the British “judge” also a Muzzie per chance?

Posted by: Its Go Time Donald at December 12, 2025 10:25 AM (9iyS+)

194 >Fox News: Pickleball player plunges to his death in 3-story fall after climbing over safety rail to retrieve ball
----

what kind of ball do they use

Posted by: Don Black at December 12, 2025 10:25 AM (ZxPkt)

195 188 Why didn't John Moses Browning design a .50ACP?

Easy, he was busy designing a 50 BMG instead. Greater length, more power, more penetration that could go the distance. Girthier and Lengthier than a mere 50 ACP.

Posted by: whig at December 12, 2025 10:26 AM (WDjG6)

196 "Jiggery-pokery" would be a good title for a pron flick.

Posted by: Bulg at December 12, 2025 10:26 AM (77rzZ)

197 Rewritten, "Weirdo sex pervert pastor steals millions from his own fake charity"
---------------
He should have called it The Fagz Global Initiative. Money would flow like wine!

Posted by: Pudinhead at December 12, 2025 10:26 AM (Wg6v7)

198 If it's a fake charity then was it really stealing?
Posted by: Robert
====
Huh, a legal conundrum that would be.

Posted by: whig at December 12, 2025 10:27 AM (WDjG6)

199 I'm pretty sure in today's society that the number one job for a “judge” is to demoralize the law abiding citizen.
——-

True enough, but it’s clear they apparently don’t have any education rooted in even a cursory look at history, because there’s only one way this kind of jiggery-pokery ever resolves.

Their whole lives will come tumbreling down.

Posted by: Archimedes at December 12, 2025 10:27 AM (Riz8t)

200 Fox News: Pickleball player plunges to his death in 3-story fall after climbing over safety rail to retrieve ball
----

what kind of ball do they use
Posted by: Don Black at December 12, 2025 10:25 AM (ZxPkt)

I think it's a shuttlecock.

Shuttlecock.

Shuttlecock.

I don't care what anyone says that word will never stop being funny.

Shuttlecock.

Posted by: Robert, The Love Walrus at December 12, 2025 10:27 AM (1Yy3c)

201 Pickleball was created for people who are too shitty at playing badminton and pin-pong. But it's all good.

I, on the other hand am a cornhole expert because horseshoes is too much work when I drinking.

Posted by: Rev. Wishbone at December 12, 2025 10:27 AM (1zOXE)

202 He should have called it The Fagz Global Initiative. Money would flow like wine!
Posted by: Pudinhead
======
Mebbe. Genderqueer is an all encompassing sex pervert label for deviants. It is the label for our times unfortunately. Waiting for the NYT headline--"God is Dead and We are all Genderqueer Now".

Posted by: whig at December 12, 2025 10:29 AM (WDjG6)

203 I, on the other hand am a cornhole expert
Posted by: Rev. Wishbone at December 12, 2025 10:27 AM (1zOXE)

How YOU doin'?!?

Posted by: Don Lemon at December 12, 2025 10:29 AM (1Yy3c)

204 I, on the other hand am a cornhole expert because horseshoes is too much work when I drinking.
Posted by: Rev. Wishbone
=======
That sport has unfortunate connotations in the Dixie meaning quite something else.

Posted by: whig at December 12, 2025 10:30 AM (WDjG6)

205
How many times do I have to warn you to get that mannequin off the stairway? I'll just have to toss this offal out through your room's window! Enjoy the smell!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM} at December 12, 2025 10:30 AM (xG4kz)

206 Their whole lives will come tumbreling down.
Posted by: Archimedes
=======
I think that is illegal in Kentucky.

Posted by: whig at December 12, 2025 10:31 AM (WDjG6)

207 22 house Republicans joined Democrats to pass a bill repealing a Trump EO making it easier to fire fedgov employees.

It won’t become law of course but shows how many traitorous fucks there are in the GOP house. Which is why I’m like if the Ds win it back, will anyone even notice? Answer: no.

Posted by: Its Go Time Donald at December 12, 2025 10:31 AM (9iyS+)

208 what kind of ball do they use
Posted by: Don Black
=======
Big ones. Bigger paddle too.

Posted by: whig at December 12, 2025 10:32 AM (WDjG6)

209 Stalker On The Stairs vibe. I play it with my cats.

Posted by: Bad Andrew at December 12, 2025 10:32 AM (MSlZp)

210 So, now I have a dilemma. Do I 1) just toss the matching sock back in the dirty clothes bin with the dirty one, and suck up being one pair short all week? Or, 2) do I just wear the dirty one with its clean mate sometime this week, so I now have a dirty pair to wash next time?

It is well to choose, early in life, a single type and color of sock. Do not deviate from the path, grasshopper.

Such problems as described above could never arise even if one were to grab two socks at random, they will match.

Q.E.D.

Posted by: Sock It To Me! at December 12, 2025 10:33 AM (04lxq)

211 All of you are wrong. This is an upstairs brothel.

Posted by: Dr. Pork Chops & Bacons at December 12, 2025 10:34 AM (g8Ew8)

212 It won’t become law of course but shows how many traitorous fucks there are in the GOP house. Which is why I’m like if the Ds win it back, will anyone even notice? Answer: no.
Posted by: Its Go Time Donald
======
Except we will have tiresome impeachments which also go nowhere designed to disrupt government.

I just as soon have do nothing GOP types instead annoying assholes of House Dems strutting around on TV and social media.

The main blockage to anything decent is the Senate filibuster and refusal to recess so Trump can put the rest of his people in until after the next election. That is fully in control of the GOP there.

Posted by: whig at December 12, 2025 10:35 AM (WDjG6)

213 >>>That sport has unfortunate connotations in the Dixie meaning quite something else.

Posted by: whig

>Well, here at the AOSHQ, we're granted certain allowances depending upon your membership status.

Posted by: Rev. Wishbone at December 12, 2025 10:35 AM (1zOXE)

214 Hey Peter! Mind your cornhole.

Posted by: Lawrence at December 12, 2025 10:35 AM (PSEDc)

215 If the sock isn't that dirty just wear it another day.

Posted by: Robert, The Love Walrus at December 12, 2025 10:35 AM (1Yy3c)

216 Via Insty

81% of Somali households in Minnesota are on welfare.

https://instapundit.com/761906/

If you enter this country as an immigrant, and go on welfare, at any point in your life,

that should earn you an instant ride back home.

Posted by: naturalfake at December 12, 2025 10:35 AM (iJfKG)

217 209 Stalker On The Stairs vibe. I play it with my cats.
Posted by: Bad Andrew
======
Fun game unless you have a Siamese. Some of them will jump on you from on high with claw landing gear fully extended for maximum traction.

Posted by: whig at December 12, 2025 10:36 AM (WDjG6)

218 That sport has unfortunate connotations in the Dixie meaning quite something else.
——

You Ain’t Never Wrong, Honkie!

Posted by: Dr. Cornhole West at December 12, 2025 10:36 AM (04lxq)

219 I like big balls and I cannot lie.

Posted by: Sir PicksALot at December 12, 2025 10:37 AM (2Ez/1)

220 [Do not click to embiggen]

-----------

lol

What, "You know what you did" wasn't available?

Posted by: ShainS -- Bamboo Ruminant and GayFontoPhobe at December 12, 2025 10:37 AM (25a1J)

221 212 It won’t become law of course but shows how many traitorous fucks there are in the GOP house. Which is why I’m like if the Ds win it back, will anyone even notice? Answer: no.
Posted by: Its Go Time Donald

Defeatist cynicism is an arrogance that we too know an outcome - we do not. Our Creator expects us to fight for good until HE ends the game, not us.

Posted by: Robert W. Pratt at December 12, 2025 10:37 AM (rQwsY)

222 If you enter this country as an immigrant, and go on welfare, at any point in your life,

that should earn you an instant ride back home.
Posted by: naturalfake at December 12, 2025 10:35 AM (iJfKG)

Congress could easily fix it with a law that says gub'mint bennies are reserved for citizens only.

Posted by: Robert, The Love Walrus at December 12, 2025 10:38 AM (1Yy3c)

223 Well, here at the AOSHQ, we're granted certain allowances depending upon your membership status.
Posted by: Rev. Wishbone
=====
FWIW, the phrase probably came into use because corn cobs were used for a certain necessary body function in lieu of pages from magazines or the Sears and Roebuck catalog.

The only way to win cornhole is not to play as WOPR (aka Joshua) said.

Posted by: whig at December 12, 2025 10:38 AM (WDjG6)

224 At Reuters: "Romania finds two masseuses with leprosy"

Well, at least their jobs don't bring them into intimate contact with other people. So there's that.

Posted by: gp at December 12, 2025 10:39 AM (GHIyr)

225 If you enter this country as an immigrant, and go on welfare, at any point in your life,

that should earn you an instant ride back home.

Posted by: naturalfake at December 12, 2025 10:35 AM (iJfKG)

My understanding is as an immigrant, you cannot get welfare. Meaning (if true) someone is on the take.

Posted by: Cow Demon at December 12, 2025 10:39 AM (rQwsY)

226 Jemele Hill is race-baiting again over the firing of Michigan's Sherrone Moore, saying he won't get another coaching gig, whereas a number of white coaches who were fired over inappropriate relations with women all were hired again elsewhere.

Posted by: one hour sober at December 12, 2025 10:39 AM (Y1sOo)

227 Defeatist cynicism is an arrogance that we too know an outcome - we do not. Our Creator expects us to fight for good until HE ends the game, not us.
Posted by: Robert W. Pratt
======
Tis true.

Posted by: whig at December 12, 2025 10:39 AM (WDjG6)

228 Is that a shuttlecock in your cornhole or are you just happy to see me?

Posted by: The chick on the stairs at December 12, 2025 10:40 AM (2Ez/1)

229 Thanks for the comment of Mr. Pratt.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at December 12, 2025 10:41 AM (looXz)

230 Hail Schlürpo

Posted by: Cow Demon at December 12, 2025 10:42 AM (rQwsY)

231 TV ad for phantom of the opera includes some twat in mexican gard incl Sombrero. WTF

Posted by: Commissar of plenty and festive little hats at December 12, 2025 10:42 AM (Kt19C)

232 Who is the woman ascending the stairs?

-------------

The Barbara Hershey character (Harriet Bird) who shoots the Robert Redford character (Roy Hobbs) in "The Natural."

Posted by: ShainS -- Bamboo Ruminant and GayFontoPhobe at December 12, 2025 10:42 AM (25a1J)

233 Gard = garb, fucking autocucumber

Posted by: Commissar of plenty and festive little hats at December 12, 2025 10:43 AM (Kt19C)

234 226 Jemele Hill is race-baiting again over the firing of Michigan's Sherrone Moore, saying he won't get another coaching gig, whereas a number of white coaches who were fired over inappropriate relations with women all were hired again elsewhere.
Posted by: one hour sober at December 12, 2025 10:39 AM (Y1sOo)

When ISN’T she race baiting?

Posted by: Cow Demon at December 12, 2025 10:43 AM (rQwsY)

235 Barbara Hershey has a great rack.

The best thing (two things, really) about Hannah and Her Sisters.

Posted by: Bulg at December 12, 2025 10:44 AM (77rzZ)

236 211 All of you are wrong. This is an upstairs brothel.
Posted by: Dr. Pork Chops & Bacons

I can't eat soup in the summertime.

Posted by: Cream of Chicken at December 12, 2025 10:44 AM (oftw2)

237 TV ad for phantom of the opera includes some twat in mexican gard incl Sombrero. WTF

Posted by: Commissar of plenty and festive little hats at December 12, 2025 10:42 AM (Kt19C)

------------

"Hakeem Jeffries is El Fantasma de la Ópera!"

Posted by: ShainS -- Bamboo Ruminant and GayFontoPhobe at December 12, 2025 10:44 AM (25a1J)

238 "Gard = garb"

Guarb? As in "Miss Sweeney, please drop your guarb."

Posted by: gp at December 12, 2025 10:44 AM (GHIyr)

239 >>>When ISN’T she race baiting?

On days that don't end in the letter 'y.'

Posted by: one hour sober at December 12, 2025 10:45 AM (Y1sOo)

240 176 Has anybody seen Doof today?

Fox News: Pickleball player plunges to his death in 3-story fall after climbing over safety rail to retrieve ball
Posted by: Bulg at December 12, 2025 10:14 AM (77rzZ)

Thanks for your concern! I'm alive and well.

Posted by: Doof at December 12, 2025 10:45 AM (CwUhY)

241 225 If you enter this country as an immigrant, and go on welfare, at any point in your life,

that should earn you an instant ride back home.

Posted by: naturalfake at December 12, 2025 10:35 AM (iJfKG)

My understanding is as an immigrant, you cannot get welfare. Meaning (if true) someone is on the take.
Posted by: Cow Demon

IIRC, refugees come in under separate provisions of the law. You can blame GHWB for that whole mess which also turned ME blue as well.

Refugee treaties always require people to go to the adjacent safest adjacent country, not fly them across the ocean to the US.

Our political class found refugee classification to be a useful way to bring in cheap labor for various tasks and the Democrats, welfare clients plus D voters.

Posted by: whig at December 12, 2025 10:45 AM (WDjG6)

242 >>>FWIW, the phrase probably came into use because corn cobs were used for a certain necessary body function in lieu of pages from magazines or the Sears and Roebuck catalog.

The only way to win cornhole is not to play as WOPR (aka Joshua) said.

Posted by: whig

>Back at the bunkhouse, we always wrapped one page of the Sears and Roebuck around the corncob because it was too aggressive to crumple it up like modern-day paper.

Posted by: Rev. Wishbone at December 12, 2025 10:46 AM (1zOXE)

243 224 At Reuters: "Romania finds two masseuses with leprosy"

Well, at least their jobs don't bring them into intimate contact with other people. So there's that.
Posted by: gp
======
"Have you engaged in rub and tug recently?" becomes a new screening question for doctors in Romania.

Posted by: whig at December 12, 2025 10:47 AM (WDjG6)

244 Thanks for your concern! I'm alive and well.
Posted by: Doof

Good to hear!

I figured you were too smart to do something boneheaded like that anyway.

Posted by: Bulg at December 12, 2025 10:47 AM (77rzZ)

245 215 If the sock isn't that dirty just wear it another day.
Posted by: Robert, The Love Walrus

Which fashion industry fag decreed that socks must match?

Posted by: Diversity Is Our Strength at December 12, 2025 10:47 AM (oftw2)

246 osted by: whig at December 12, 2025 10:39 AM (WDjG6)

------------

@whig

I belatedly saw your comment a couple days ago about having had "perfect pitch" (very cool!) prior to suffering from tinnitus (I now have and hate that) owing to Psoriatic Arthritis (PsA) -- which I'd never heard of (and so sorry to hear).

Anyway, you're probably already aware -- but if not (or others are not): I have a good friend who was afflicted with awful psoriasis for a couple of years (I think he was being treated with nitric oxide or something) and his skin would continuously crust up and bleed (he spend the night once and his bed sheets were all bloody).

He stumbled onto somebody (maybe Dr. Eric Berg?) who recommended 50,000 IU of Vitamin D daily -- and it quickly cured his psoriasis!

---------

[Piper responded:] "If you want to do this, please do it with your doctor. Short term, these doses under medical supervision may be okay. But VIT D toxicity is a thing, tummy upset, fatigue, etc. Plus, if you want to go at those levels, getting them in a shot form is easier."

Posted by: ShainS -- Bamboo Ruminant and GayFontoPhobe at December 12, 2025 10:48 AM (25a1J)

247 Isn't Doof on the disabled list with a bad knee or wheel, or something?

Posted by: I Pay Attention at December 12, 2025 10:49 AM (oftw2)

248 Which fashion industry fag decreed that socks must match?
Posted by: Diversity Is Our Strength

I've told the story here before about an extremely hot woman I used to work with. She let out a scream in the breakroom, and all the guys rushed to her rescue, only to find out that she had screamed upon discovering that her socks didn't match.

Posted by: Bulg at December 12, 2025 10:50 AM (77rzZ)

249 Via Insty

81% of Somali households in Minnesota are on welfare.

Are Americans the only unserved economic refugees on this planet?

Posted by: t-bird at December 12, 2025 10:51 AM (T7fic)

250 >>> 118 Good news, everyone! Jesus is back!

Noted prosperity-gospel Televangelist Jesse Duplantis explains when you see him, you 'see the Father' and 'God incarnate.'

He later adds "you mad at me because I live in a mansion? I'm just acting like my father, because he's living in a mansion."
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Now With Pumpkin Spice! at December 12, 2025 09:56 AM (L/fGl)

What's the big deal?

Posted by: Anthony SCIENCE!!! Fauci at December 12, 2025 10:52 AM (ULPxl)

251
So, last night we were watching "As Good As It Gets" again, I think on Netflix, and I turns to the lovely and delightful Mrs naturalfake, and I says-

I says, "This is such a good movie. Great acting, writing, directing. I wonder why Ol' Brooks stopped making movies."

So, I look him up and, he's just released a new movie!

Buuuuut, almost all of the critics, straight up hate it, which makes me wonder if he somehow violated some libtardian principle and that set their hair on fire.

Christian Toto gives it a middling recommendation, so we may go see it. Maybe no. Just wait for streaming.

Posted by: naturalfake at December 12, 2025 10:52 AM (iJfKG)

252 Good to hear!

I figured you were too smart to do something boneheaded like that anyway.
Posted by: Bulg at December 12, 2025 10:47 AM (77rzZ)

You give me too much credit

Posted by: Doof at December 12, 2025 10:53 AM (CwUhY)

253 "Just wait for streaming."

Always a safe choice.

Posted by: gp at December 12, 2025 10:53 AM (GHIyr)

254 . . .
He stumbled onto somebody (maybe Dr. Eric Berg?) who recommended 50,000 IU of Vitamin D daily -- and it quickly cured his psoriasis!

---------

[Piper responded:] "If you want to do this, please do it with your doctor. Short term, these doses under medical supervision may be okay. But VIT D toxicity is a thing, tummy upset, fatigue, etc. Plus, if you want to go at those levels, getting them in a shot form is easier."
Posted by: ShainS
=======
Thanks.
My new medication Rinvoq seems to be working at least for now. Finally got off from Cosentyx which never worked for me after insurance would not let me take Humira any longer. I will mention it to my rheumatologist but due to impending spinal surgery probably can't make any changes in meds for awhile.

I take Vitamin D3 supplements anyway as I am doubly cursed to get respiratory infections--via medication and a (genetic?) deficiency in IGG4 subtype.

FWIW, Quercetin is also a proven anti inflammatory and also anti seasonal allergen for some people. Also taken with zinc, has some anti viral applications. Took it too in the past until it interacted with one of my other meds.

Posted by: whig at December 12, 2025 10:54 AM (WDjG6)

255 251 So, I look him up and, he's just released a new movie!

Buuuuut, almost all of the critics, straight up hate it, which makes me wonder if he somehow violated some libtardian principle and that set their hair on fire.

Christian Toto gives it a middling recommendation, so we may go see it. Maybe no. Just wait for streaming.

Posted by: naturalfake at December 12, 2025 10:52 AM (iJfKG)

======

I will never quite understand this Brooks' popularity.

I mean, Broadcast News is fine. But, little more than that. And Hollywood loved him, and his movies made good money.

They always feel very middling to me, though I don't think I've seen As Good As It Gets all the way through.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, seeing life through the shadows with Otto Preminger at December 12, 2025 10:54 AM (GBKbO)

256
253 "Just wait for streaming."

Always a safe choice.

Posted by: gp at December 12, 2025 10:53 AM (GHIyr)

=======

"My God, Bones...what have I done?"
-Hollywood, having blown up theatrical to get Orange Man Bad

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, seeing life through the shadows with Otto Preminger at December 12, 2025 10:54 AM (GBKbO)

257 Isn't Doof on the disabled list with a bad knee or wheel, or something?
Posted by: I Pay Attention at December 12, 2025 10:49 AM (oftw2)

Wow, you do pay attention. Yup - haven't played in a month or so. Knee was in bad shape. But I'm on some good meds that took care of the swelling and inflammation. Probably back on the court this weekend to see how it goes.

Posted by: Doof at December 12, 2025 10:55 AM (CwUhY)

258 He later adds "you mad at me because I live in a mansion? I'm just acting like my father, because he's living in a mansion."

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Now With Pumpkin Spice! at December 12, 2025 09:56 AM (L/fGl)

--------------

This plane I′m riding, they say it's leaving
For a place where we′ll never die
And the pilot will be my Jesus
To my mansion up in the sky

/obligatory

Posted by: ShainS -- Bamboo Ruminant and GayFontoPhobe at December 12, 2025 10:56 AM (25a1J)

259 Are Americans the only unserved economic refugees on this planet?
Posted by: t-bird
==========
Americans are viewed, even by some other Americans that should know better, as a lottery winner in the world. That means everyone in the world believes we have magic dirt and it is unfair to prevent all the world from enjoying our magic dirt.

Same as lottery winners are treated by those around them and even strangers: as a private welfare agency.

Somehow people feel they deserve what other people have in return for nothing.

Posted by: whig at December 12, 2025 10:57 AM (WDjG6)

260 Those prosperity preachers are something else, and I don't mean that in a good way!

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at December 12, 2025 10:58 AM (looXz)

261 I don't care what anyone says that word will never stop being funny.

Shuttlecock.
Posted by: Robert, The Love Walrus at December 12, 2025 10:27 AM

Spatchcock > shuttlecock

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at December 12, 2025 10:58 AM (kgE5c)

262 "Noted prosperity-gospel Televangelist Jesse Duplantis explains when you see him, you 'see the Father' and 'God incarnate.'"

Groan.

Ignore it...you will explain your own life choices to G-d, Who won't ask you anything about Jesse.

Proverbs 4:25
Let your eyes look directly forward, and your gaze be straight before you.
Phillipians 3:14
I, Paul, press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of G-d in Christ Jesus.

Posted by: ju at December 12, 2025 10:58 AM (EgpoY)

263 Those prosperity preachers are something else, and I don't mean that in a good way!
Posted by: FenelonSpoke

Prosperity gospel is a heresy.

Posted by: Bulg at December 12, 2025 10:58 AM (77rzZ)

264 Why does it look like she has a limp?

Posted by: Anna Puma at December 12, 2025 10:59 AM (MeJZi)

265 Posted by: Bulg at December 12, 2025 10:58 AM (77rzZ

Yes.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at December 12, 2025 10:59 AM (looXz)

266 258 This plane I′m riding, they say it's leaving
For a place where we′ll never die
And the pilot will be my Jesus
To my mansion up in the sky

i don't care if it rains or freezes
as long as i've got my plastic jesus
riding on the dashboard of my car

Posted by: anachronda at December 12, 2025 10:59 AM (v3pYe)

267 Prosperity preachers?

Scrooge would like a word with them.

Posted by: Anna Puma at December 12, 2025 11:01 AM (MeJZi)

268 U nas yest' NOOD.

Posted by: Bulg at December 12, 2025 11:01 AM (77rzZ)

269 I don't think I've seen As Good As It Gets all the way through.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, seeing life through the shadows with Otto Preminger at December 12, 2025 10:54 AM (GBKbO)

Watch it. Right now. Go. Go!

Posted by: Robert, The Love Walrus at December 12, 2025 11:01 AM (1Yy3c)

270
nood Throck Buckmorton

Posted by: AltonJackson at December 12, 2025 11:01 AM (tljrc)

271 [snip]

FWIW, Quercetin is also a proven anti inflammatory and also anti seasonal allergen for some people. Also taken with zinc, has some anti viral applications. Took it too in the past until it interacted with one of my other meds.

Posted by: whig at December 12, 2025 10:54 AM (WDjG6

-----------

Wifey is into a long list of supplements (and apparently you need co-factor supplements along with Vitamin D3 like K2, Zinc, Magnesium Glysinate, and dietary fat -- but not with Iron as that competes with D3).

Along with a myriad of other vitamins, she's also taking DMSO, Collagen, Creatine, and straight Glycine.

Posted by: ShainS -- Bamboo Ruminant and GayFontoPhobe at December 12, 2025 11:02 AM (25a1J)

272 Remember:
Your average Republican didn't run for office because they were successful in private life.
They started life with a 99 yard head start in 100 yard dash, tripped over their feet, but found success in a single election.

I mean, not one Republican of the last 50 years had even half the fights Trump went through.

They're a bunch of faggoty ballet dancers prancing around the octagon confused at why the crowd isn't cheering for them.

"But I've rolled up my sleeves! I'm shadow punching the air! What more do you want?!"

Draw blood, bitch.

Posted by: People's Hippo Voice at December 12, 2025 11:03 AM (HXT0k)

273 Wow, you do pay attention. Yup - haven't played in a month or so. Knee was in bad shape. But I'm on some good meds that took care of the swelling and inflammation. Probably back on the court this weekend to see how it goes.
Posted by: Doof
=======
FWIW,
Warning, if you take steroid shots to the knee for pain, it can soften the cartilage for a time making it more likely to tear.

Also avoid K-flex, Levaquin, and other Fluoroquinolones as they can have the same effect of softening cartilege. Levaquin is now black labeled by the FDA because of it.

Botched ACL surgery with the initial tear possibly caused by Levaquin administration for sinus infection is what started me on my road to ruin.

Hyaluronic acid shots can also have separate side effects.

Posted by: whig at December 12, 2025 11:03 AM (WDjG6)

274 So, I look him up and, he's just released a new movie!

Buuuuut, almost all of the critics, straight up hate it, which makes me wonder if he somehow violated some libtardian principle and that set their hair on fire.

Christian Toto gives it a middling recommendation, so we may go see it. Maybe no. Just wait for streaming.

Posted by: naturalfake at December 12, 2025 10:52 AM (iJfKG)

======

I will never quite understand this Brooks' popularity.

I mean, Broadcast News is fine. But, little more than that. And Hollywood loved him, and his movies made good money.

They always feel very middling to me, though I don't think I've seen As Good As It Gets all the way through.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, seeing life through the shadows with Otto Preminger at December 12, 2025 10:54 AM (GBKbO)

Ah, well. De gustibus and all that.

His writing is generally great. And I think his great gift is to make people feel"smart" for lack of a better word, while watching his movies filled with articulate people who still feel real, and you get to ride along.

He kind of reminds me of Paddy Chayefsky in that regard, except Ol Pads give you screaming drama instead of Ol Brooke's light comedy.

Posted by: naturalfake at December 12, 2025 11:04 AM (iJfKG)

275
Reuters: "Romania finds two masseuses with leprosy"

Well, at least their jobs don't bring them into intimate contact with other people. So there's that.
Posted by: gp

The next thing you know, Bulgaria will find three with leprosy. Balkan rivalries are serious, yo!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM} at December 12, 2025 11:05 AM (xG4kz)

276 224 At Reuters: "Romania finds two masseuses with leprosy"

Well, at least their jobs don't bring them into intimate contact with other people. So there's that.
Posted by: gp

Don't ask for the unhappy ending

Posted by: Chuck Martel at December 12, 2025 11:10 AM (Dv3i1)

277 Wifey is into a long list of supplements (and apparently you need co-factor supplements along with Vitamin D3 like K2, Zinc, Magnesium Glysinate, and dietary fat -- but not with Iron as that competes with D3).

Along with a myriad of other vitamins, she's also taking DMSO, Collagen, Creatine, and straight Glycine.
Posted by: ShainS
-------
Because of existing prescription meds, I am very careful about which supplements I take or even additional drugs which I keep to a minimum. Too many chances for interactions that simply are not even researched.

Basically, the psoriatic arthritis led to a condition of Ankylosing spondylitis which is in the process of fusing my spine. I take the Rinvoq as much to slow and stave out that as I do for the psoriatic arthritis. Before Rinvoq, I took Humira and then Cosentyx which are recommended for it.

The longer you have inflammatory arthritis, the more damage it does but you can and do go into remission at times. Over time, the inflammatory arthritis will pick and choose which other organs it will attack. In my case, the spine and inside one of my ears for whatever reason; in others, it will attack the heart, or other internal organs.

Posted by: whig at December 12, 2025 11:11 AM (WDjG6)

278 His writing is generally great. And I think his great gift is to make people feel"smart" for lack of a better word, while watching his movies filled with articulate people who still feel real, and you get to ride along.

He kind of reminds me of Paddy Chayefsky in that regard, except Ol Pads give you screaming drama instead of Ol Brooke's light comedy.
Posted by: naturalfake
======
In his best films, I would agree with you. Brooks is the type that makes lemonade out of lemons in his movies which are never big on action or even much drama but are essentially snapshots into other people's lives. Even in his lesser films, his characters seem more real but flat to some because you don't get the big emotional highs or lows but instead witty urbanites muddling through.

Like Defending Your Life for example. Brooks is neither a great hero nor is he a despicable villain. He just seems average as does Meryl Streep and his trial which in other hands would seem to be dramatic, instead his character is more peevish and neurotic than dramatic. Rip Torn is the liveliest actor in that movie.

Posted by: whig at December 12, 2025 11:19 AM (WDjG6)

279 CBD asks some good questions that a "civilian" would ask...but an artist sees this work through an entirely different lens: of elements that make up the work, of tonalities, brushwork, etc.

that's why sometimes we really appreciate paintings that most of the world consider just "meh".

also, the embiggening trick was pretty good

Posted by: kallisto at December 12, 2025 11:26 AM (dCxaZ)

280 Live-in help using the back kitchen stairway from the an upper floor servants quarters. Somebody coming upstairs from a foyer or landing.

Posted by: LegoBrandon at December 12, 2025 01:42 PM (njAFV)

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