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For Some Reason, Vanity Fair Will Publish an "Abstract Nude" Photo of Its New West Coast Editor and Weird Dick-Riding Flake Olivia Nuzzi
What is an "abstract nude"? I don't know. I imagine it's a nude photo which has been digitally altered with various effects and geometric pixelations so you can't see her beaver.
And based on reports, you'll be among the very select group of people who haven't seen her beaver. This is the media now. This is "journalism." And do we want to see this? I grant you that she does not have any particular feature which would disqualify her from being "attractive." She's not hugely overweight, she's not decrepitly aged, she has the full complement of limbs and teeth. But beyond that, is this... "beautiful"? As literally every media outlet demands you believe?
My headline "Olivia Nuzzi's Got a Fuzzi and Wants All the World to See It" turns out to have been prescient, no? Almost as if I owned a time machine, which I will have assured you, in the future, that I do not have.
Oh it's a drawing? So it'll be like a cubist sketch of her beaver? Will it be Escher-like? Will we see various older men walking up and down non-Euclidean stairs into her beaver?
Vanity Fair's glossy Hollywood issue will feature an abstract nude portrait of scandal-plagued editor Olivia Nuzzi -- even as staffers privately gripe that she has failed to carry out core duties since joining the magazine, according to a report. The portrait, drawn by artist Isabelle Brourman, will appear in the new print edition that is scheduled to hit newsstands on Dec. 2. No image of the drawing appears to have been circulated publicly, and it's unclear if renderings of the drawing have been produced or circulated among Vanity Fair staffers.
The sketch was commissioned months before the latest wave of allegations engulfed the 32-year-old writer, according to Status. Brourman previously collaborated with Nuzzi during her tenure at New York Magazine, which ended weeks after it was learned that she had a "sexting" relationship with then-presidential candidate Robert F. Kennedy Jr.Apparently some staffers complain that, apart from lining up her next affair with a Democrat politician forty years her senior, she doesn't seem to work very much.
The inclusion of the abstract sketch in Vanity Fair's marquee issue has fueled internal backlash at a moment when the publication is already struggling to contain the fallout of her most recent controversies.
Is her talent of such a high level that she's worth all of this "turbulence?" Well, having skimmed excerpts from her sexual tell-all book American Canto -- which reportedly will feature some of the dirty sexts she exchanged with RFKJr. -- I would say that, as a writer, she's no Ryan Lizza. Not enough bamboo, for one thing. She begins by discussing the fires that consumed the Palisades, and asserts that the Palisades fires were very much like the negative publicity she received after her sexting affair was exposed.
Inside Vanity Fair, the controversy has collided with mounting frustration over Nuzzi's limited output. Staffers told Status she has skipped routine meetings and failed to turn in assigned work. Two people told the newsletter that one of her other editing assignments for the most recent issue of the magazine was not completed, leaving colleagues scrambling as the publication closed one of its most scrutinized annual issues. The turbulence has placed newly appointed editorial director Mark Guiducci under immediate pressure. Guiducci, who took over in June, has addressed staff at least twice since the allegations resurfaced, according to the Status report. At a team meeting Thursday, he explained how he first met Nuzzi and tried to calm anxieties inside the newsroom, the newsletter reported. He also downplayed the allegations, calling them "difficult to investigate because they occurred while she was employed elsewhere," according to Status. But some staffers remain skeptical that Nuzzi can continue in an editing role when she has produced little work while generating heavy turbulence, according to Status.
Below, apparently her cute gimmick is to refer to RFKJr. only as "The Politician," even though we all know who she means and in fact her publisher's publicity department is out there selling the book by promising RFKJr.'s sext messages.
A few minutes later, the planes swooped down to spray the flames in the bluffs. I watched from the Pacific Coast Highway, as far away from my problems as I could get on land, which was not far enough. You cannot outrun your life on fire.
What?
I would take a bullet for you," the Politician said. He always said that. "Please don't say that," I said. I always said that. From his mouth the bullet theoretical launched the bullet possible.
I did not like to think about it. About the armed man at his speech. Or the armed man who broke into his home. Or the armed men he paid to guard him from armed men who sought to harm him while the federal government denied his pleas for protection from the security agency whose modern protocols were carved by the same bullets that cut boughs from his family tree and cut the track of the American experiment.Let me interrupt to say that Sex and the City ruined would-be female writer. That show established the terrible trope that female writers are supposed to always look at some very mundane, very trivial AWFL consumer purchase and then make "clever" observations about it and spin that into some (let me get out my supply of Superfluous Quotes) " " " " deep " " " " point about life and -- especially -- dating and sex. Like, for example, Sarah Jessica Parker will be munching an everything bagel and wondering if all the spices clash with each other and then begin babbling about whether or not one can or should try to have an "everything relationship" or if one should have separate bagels -- different people -- to fulfill different needs. Maybe we need a Sex Bagel and a Confidante Bagel and a Going Shopping on Sunday Bagel. Maybe it's wrong to expect or even want an Everything Bagel for every situation. I don't know how that monologue would continue because I just shot myself through the temple. Good-bye Cruel World. Avenge me. You get what I'm talking about though, right?, I asked ghostilly. This horrific trope has infected so much female writing that... okay, I just basically won't read modern female writers. I pre-judge them. I assume that they're going to do the Sex and the City "clever" observations thing and I say: No.
I did not like to think about it just as later I would not like to think about the worm in his brain that other people found so funny. I loved his brain. I hated the idea of an intruder therein. Others thought he was a madman; he was not quite mad the way they thought, but I loved the private ways that he was mad. I loved that he was insatiable in all ways, as if he would swallow up the whole world just to know it better if he could. He made me laugh, but I winced when he joked about the worm. "Baby, don't worry," he said. "It's not a worm." A doctor he trusted had reviewed the scans of his brain obtained by The New York Times, he said, and concluded that the shadowy figure was likely not a parasite at all. He sighed. It was too late to interfere with what had already vaulted from the sphere of meme to the sphere of screwy legend, but at least I did not have to worry about the worm that was not a worm in his brain.
This reminds me of John Scalzi's quote: The failure state of "clever" is "asshole." In other words, if you try to be funny but the joke doesn't land, the failure state is that you weren't funny. If you try to make a serious point but fail to convince, the failure state is that you did not persuade your audience.
... As a child, I became convinced that death was not random, that life was the process of investigating what the point of it was, and as soon as you figured it out, in that very instant, you would ascend. God would eliminate you from this plane. He could not risk a leaker walking among the ignorant. The assignment was to crack the case for yourself. And when I would find myself thinking too hard about the central question, I would back away slowly, thinking, Well, I will return to this matter some other time when I feel more ready to possibly meet my end. What if I guessed correctly? The unsolvable puzzle. Tripping once, on a balcony in Washington overlooking the National Cathedral. Smoking what I did not know was my final cigarette. Unless someone offers me a Capri, which does not count. The great cosmic riddle, I figured I had solved it. The joke was that the joke was never done being told.Maybe we need a Philosphical Musing Bagel that we can make gaseous philosophical speculations with.
The wildfire is over my shoulder now, over the hill. The waxing gibbous moon is over my head. A thought bubble, it shines blankly. Across the country, the Politician is the guest of honor. Across the country with his wife. With Mike Tyson for some reason. People are mocking the photos, asking where I am, asking how she could stand there after all that. I know how. The earth here is hot. Inside the bonfire, what evidence can I burn? I think of all I turned to ash in hotel rooms. I think of how you cannot burn a cloud. I think of the classified documents at Mar-a-Lago, how there were so many, how the officials did not know what to do with them, and how fire seldom seemed to occur, though the White House and the president's properties are studded with fireplaces. Too easy. I worry.She really thinks her life is like the Palisades Fires, which killed, what, like 20 people?
God, I know You have more important matters on Your mind, but: Why do You allow this evil? The existence of Olivia Nuzzi's writing proves that God cannot both be all-good and all-powerful. Now back to "The Politician." Shit, even there she's aping Sex and the City, as Carrie only referred to her real estate millionaire fuck-buddy as "Mr. Big." I don't think they revealed his actual name.
I worry about evil. If it is a force, if it is like the Santa Ana winds, if it may come on suddenly, if it may grab hold, if it may depart but not completely, if it may leave word, if the word might sound good, if I might again believe it. The snake charmer, the man-eater, the devil himself. Was it ever a question, that where there was a cloak there would be a dagger? A friend told me once, "Never trust anyone wearing a lapel pin." This politician did not wear one of those. Midnight, 3,000 acres burning. A politician's greatest trick is to convince you that he is not one. And what is a politician? Any man who wants to be loved more than other men and through his pursuit reveals why he cannot love himself. People ask me now about anger. About my lack of it. How? How could I not be enraged? I think this over. I scan the terrain of my body. My chest, my spine, behind my belly button. I look for pale pulses of idle fury, waiting for the alarm to sound at the trip wire of my veins. There is nothing there. There is nothing there because I loaded a gun. I loaded a gun and set it on my nightstand. You cannot live in America without thinking about guns, without thinking that one day you might not live anymore in America, and the reason will be a gun. 46,728 lives ended in America in 2023 because of a gun. 27,300 suicides. 17,927 homicides. 604 police shootings. 463 accidents. 434 undetermined. On the 405, a billboard announces that gun injuries are the number one cause of death for American children. You think: A gun will protect me from guns. Then you recall the statistic, that a gun in your home doubles your chances of dying by homicide. Still I loaded a gun. I loaded a gun and set it on my nightstand.
... Like all men but more so, he was a hunter. In a literal sense, he used not a bullet but a bird. It was not about a chase but about a puzzle of logic and skill that amounted to a test of his self-mastery. He was the mouse and the architect of his maze. The giver of his own pleasure and torment. He desired. He desired desiring. He desired being desired. He desired desire itself. I understood this just as I came to understand the range of his kinks and complexes and how they fit within what I thought I understood of his soul. The spark, the flame, the rumor fulfilled. The labyrinth on fire. The Palisades fire. 10:30 a.m., 10 acres burning. 10:50 a.m., 20 acres burning.What the fuck are you talking about, Madam, and would you mind stopping talking about it? She continues likening her out-of-control life to the California wildfires and then gets back to Mr. Big, I mean, The Politician.
A politician's greatest trick is to convince you that he is not one. And what is a politician? Any man who wants to be loved more than other men and through his pursuit reveals why he cannot love himself. It was the flag. When I close my eyes in search of the end or the start, the place at which before stopped and beyond which now began, that is what I see. The blur of colors, the flash of red, of blue, of white, stretched and folded, pulled apart, undefined yet unmistakable, the flag. There was no one day, one moment, one event, one decision, one word that marked the change. There was the flag as it mutated from metaphorical to literal weapon, as it was marred by a corruption of the American character that could not be understood or even fully observed through the prism of the partisan binary. Which is to say that it was the flag, but it was not about the flag, not about notions of patriotism or nationalism or idolatry. It was the flag that thrashed in psychedelic distress, suggested a bend in lanes of reason, a tear in the fabric of consensus reality.Maybe she needs a Flag Metaphor Bagel, too. You see what I mean? This is just Carrie Bradshaw Does Politics. She's obsessing over a mundane physical thing, a flag, and attempting to babble about it until she accidentally uncovers the secrets of the universe.
She's talking about a flag, but, get this, she's really talking about Trump. Clever. And you know what they say about the failure state of clever.
In this period of now, from 2015 to 2025, in which the man through whom the culture was synthesized achieved dominance, I found myself fixated on the flag, on the way the flag expressed how the country was warping, and yet the magnitude of this change could not be categorized appropriately or cataloged completely amid such amnesia. At the southern border or the White House or the Midwestern auto factory or the boat in the Atlantic or the truck rolling beside the Pacific, the very flag that had been clutched like pearls at the turn of the century was refashioned as costume jewelry. Red, white, and blue asphyxiated blue, gray, and black. Stars and Stripes a backdrop for the star of the country. One stripe remade a banner across which his campaign slogan crawled.
... As the edited flags waved strange and ominous, my job was to bear witness to the processes of American presidential politics, to travel the country and attempt to understand those who sought or wielded or influenced executive power. I had never been interested in politics, exactly.Really? You don't say. I couldn't tell that you were not at all interested in politics from the way you were babbling about the outer perimeters of politics while trying to remain focused on what really matters, the worm in the Politician's brain. Here she continues babbling some nonsense vaguely about "politics." As she's already confessed, she's not interested in politics, but she's writing a book that purports to be about politics, and this is the best she can offer: fractured sense-impressions half-remembered from that time she took magic mushrooms while watching Abby Philip interviewing Brian Stelter.
Everything seemed suddenly flexible. With all information available at all times to all people, all matters appeared potentially negotiable. Fine fractures splintered deep, fanned out far, cracked up for good. The parties were over. The system was moot. Vast interconnectedness and mass overstimulation gave way to individual isolation and nihilistic boredom so total that it all but invited the ascendant mob-mentality politics of comic relief and sadistic catharsis. Our more flammable world. Arson, the national pastime. Self-immolation, well.Just like everything is Bagels with Carrie Bradshaw, so with Olivia Nuzzi everything is fire.
... Events lost context. Words lost meaning. Denier. Nothing could be believed because everything was subject to change. Truther. Everything could be believed because anything was possible; this was at once inspirational slogan and active threat.Psst: She's still babbling about Trump, in case you fell asleep six vague paragraphs ago.
This is her very overwrought way of saying, "RFKJr. asked me to lie about the sexting affair for him and I was hurt that we would ask that." But it sounds so mundane when you say it that way. So instead we get a lot Jazz Odyssey riffing about hands going up skirts and flesh being torn by steel traps. Also, I'm pretty sure, we'll be hearing about The Fire That Is My Fabulous Life again shortly. And flags. Weaponized flags.
A promise was only a suggestion. A suggestion was only a joke, unless you were not moved to laugh; then the joke was on you. In this reality, reality ceased to feel real. Shots rang out. The story of the relationship had broken, the bullet metaphorical. My phone rang again. "I need you to take a bullet for me," the Politician said. "Please." New York closed in. City and magazine. New York I fled. I drove west. I did not feel alone now. Not yet. What I felt was that the country had snaked its hand up my skirt. What I felt was that I had been lanced by the teeth of a trap set by a man who could not let me go; that as I tried to free myself, the man for whom I worked had run off with the key to the padlock; that the contradiction in terms, the man I trusted most, the Politician, had walked by the scene whistling, and when he saw me there, a mob on the horizon moving closer, he reached out to me, not to lift me to my feet but to pin me down, to drive the teeth of the trap deeper into my flesh, to hike my skirt higher, to wave the mob over to look, to invite the country to lay its hands on me.
As Shakespeare observed: Brevity may be the soul of wit, but padding the hell out a few trivial incidents is the only way to extend an anecdote into book-length form.
In the news, the Politician offers a united front and a rewritten history. My vow of silence does not feel like enough. I wish to fall silent on myself too. I wish to sink into the sea. To flee behind the curve of the earth. To emerge a new shape, a stranger. To stop giving fake names in coffee shops. To never see myself, the character of myself imagined by others, viral allegory of hubris, female avatar of Icarus, stripped and left for dead in a pool of wax. I do not wish to be understood, which no one seems to understand.
Birds of prey circle. It is inconceivable, it seems, that someone would choose to allow a crisis to go to waste, would not want to make of their attention more attention, would not want to reap some kind of short-term profit from the mess of their life. The paparazzi, the calculating ones, write to tell me where their colleagues are staking me out. New York. Washington. Outside my brother's house, where they get into an altercation with a neighbor. Never anywhere I am. They think that if they do me this favor, I will cut a deal and agree to be photographed by them in exchange for what they advertise as control over my image. My Image, a ship that has sailed and sunk. The offer includes a promise that doubles as a threat: If I accept their terms, I will be left alone the rest of the time, which means that if I do not accept their terms, I will not be left alone.Let me put that more directly: Reporters are calling her asking for comment on the sexting affair. She doesn't want to answer. The fire burns.
... I am talking, of course, about how it happened between me and the Politician. I am talking, of course, about how it happened between the country and the president. I cannot talk about one without the other.Trump had its way with America like RFKJr. had his way with her? What? A long time ago I listed to a podcast by the We Hate Movies guys about the Steven King movie Dreamcatcher. A joke they kept making was that Steven King was in his coke phase -- meaning, "his entire career" -- in which he never edited, revised, or trimmed anything he wrote. Everything just came right out of his head, unpolished, straight to the page and then straight to typeset and publication. "Clickety-clack," they kept saying, to simulate the sound of Steven King's never-pausing typewriter vomiting up words. Olivia Nuzzi is a clickety-clack "writer" herself. Is my life like fire? Clickety-clack. Maybe it's like a bear trap tearing into my ankle? Clickety-clack. Maybe Trump's seduction of America is like RFKJr. seducing me? Clickety-clack, clickety-clack, clickety-clack, we're contractually obligated to deliver 80,000 words to the publisher by next Tuesday and we absolutely cannot afford the time needed to evaluate whether any of this makes sense and we definitely cannot afford to start cutting words. We have to just add words, and add words, and add more words, whether they make sense when arranged next to each other or not. Clickety-clack.
In the discourse someone I have met before jokes about my murder. Others contact me to warn me that such a thing is not a joke but a possibility. I was not going to sleep anyhow.Spoiler: She was not murdered.
People often, often people I do not know very well, reach out to tell me that I have appeared in their dreams. I wonder if this is because I sleep so little.Clickety-clack.
If the version of me who lives on the plane of dreams tires of waiting for me to release her to action, if she goes out searching for places where she may exist without my permission, if she identifies the minds of those who have felt any kindness toward me, if she thinks that within their dreams she might get to live freely instead. I wonder, too, if this is a function of being a visible face but a veiled personality. If my impression contains empty space that renders me an adaptable idea and thus a useful device for subconscious minds. It is nice to think of this, that I might still be in some way, to someone, of use.Clickety-clack, clickety-clack, clickety-clack. Remember, she's not interest in politics. That's why we're now Eight Deep into an extended narcissistic fantasy about her appearing in other people's dreams.
Shorter version: "My life felt unreal to me." But you're not going to hit 80,000 words with sentences like "My life felt unreal to me." Clickety-clack.
I mean to tell you as best I can what it was to face the unrealness, to stand so close that it seemed at times almost plausible, to tiptoe along the edge of the abyss, and to balance there just long enough to forget that the plates would soon shift.
I mean to tell you of the canyon where voices carried. The place where monsters spoke to me. Where I listened. Where I found that, as fortune or curse would have it, I knew the language of monsters....Because I care about you, I'm going to do what Little Miss Clickety-Clack will not do and edit this and end this fresh prologned digression about nothing. But she continues babbling about monsters and canyons. No I lied, I'm including it. You've all been disappointing me recently and this is what you get.
Okay but I will show mercy and cut it there.
I mean to tell you that, as it relates to monsters, little can be assured beyond their ceaseless want. That you feed the monster, and the monster wants only more. That here you have surrendered to the endless transaction, and through the terms on which you meet the monster you are transformed monstrous, too, for the day that the monster is done wanting is the day that the sun does not rise; want makes the monster as sun makes the day.
I mean to tell you that this is more meaningful and more meaningless than you might think.As to the latter: I'm sold, baby.
... The flag winked beside the lanes that bent to borders that faded to barriers that fell to the lines I crossed.Back to this metaphor which stands for nothing at all.
.. When I open my eyes I see, still, the blur of colors, the flash of red, of blue, of white. I mean to tell you now as best I can.
Not everyone can write like Olivia Nuzzi.
— 𝐌𝐢𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐞𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐓𝐞𝐱𝐚𝐧 (@michael_texan) November 25, 2025
I never would have heard of Nuzzi if it weren’t for @AceofSpadesHQ. I don’t know whether to thank Ace or throw turd balls at him — that’s pretty much every day.
Behold the genius of Olivia Nuzzi:
“I look for pale pulses of idle fury,… pic.twitter.com/2OoTxV223r
Comments
(Jump to bottom of comments)Posted by: TheJamesMadison, seeing life through the shadows with Otto Preminger at November 25, 2025 04:24 PM (GBKbO)
Posted by: Bucket Loaders Monthly at November 25, 2025 04:25 PM (kIamG)
Bitch can't figure out why movies/tv portray journalists as harlots who fuck sources for info though.
Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at November 25, 2025 04:26 PM (gwt4v)
Posted by: Alec Leamas at November 25, 2025 04:26 PM (ssz2a)
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at November 25, 2025 04:27 PM (Nx5jP)
Posted by: CaliGirl at November 25, 2025 04:27 PM (AZf41)
The #5 at the local Panera Drive thru is a Tuna salad sandwich.
Posted by: Frank Barone at November 25, 2025 04:27 PM (IifOV)
And about that "abstract nude" business. They're not talking about something Picasso-esque, are they? Is she going to look like a stack of Rubik's cubes?
Posted by: Paco at November 25, 2025 04:28 PM (mADJX)
Posted by: Tex Lovera at November 25, 2025 04:28 PM (wtvvX)
Posted by: A shoo-in for Bulwer-Lytton at November 25, 2025 04:28 PM (TbWk/)
Posted by: imp at November 25, 2025 04:29 PM (g6TN6)
Posted by: MartynWW at November 25, 2025 04:29 PM (+1tao)
Posted by: Tex Lovera at November 25, 2025 04:29 PM (wtvvX)
Posted by: Field Marshal Zhukov at November 25, 2025 04:29 PM (wBaIH)
Posted by: Northernlurker , Maple Syrup MAGA at November 25, 2025 04:30 PM (kTd/k)
----
Yes, just like sports and everything else, they are competing with internet porn
Spoiler alert.... porn wins
Posted by: Lemmiwinks at November 25, 2025 04:30 PM (iNURe)
Posted by: weft cut-loop at November 25, 2025 04:31 PM (mlg/3)
Posted by: Count de Monet at November 25, 2025 04:31 PM (wVcYX)
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, seeing life through the shadows with Otto Preminger at November 25, 2025 04:24 PM (GBKbO)
=====
*snort*
I sprained my scrolling finger.
Posted by: Jordan61 at November 25, 2025 04:31 PM (DRSnL)
Posted by: Even he had his limits at November 25, 2025 04:31 PM (TbWk/)
Emerson’s corpse just rolled its eyes and puked.
And even though rigor-mortis has set in, he doesn’t have a stiffy.
Posted by: Marcus T at November 25, 2025 04:31 PM (Qgg5f)
What the hell do you mean by turbulence? The turbulence created while between the sheets from rapidly depressurizing her lower colon of bean burrito gas?
Posted by: Unknown Drip Under Pressure at November 25, 2025 04:32 PM (a4flb)
>>What I felt was that the country had snaked its hand up my skirt.
------------------
omg someone kill this all-about-me journalism. Like a snake crawling into journalism's bed and biting its leg.
Posted by: Blonde Morticia at November 25, 2025 04:32 PM (RfDQK)
Posted by: Marcus T at November 25, 2025 04:32 PM (Qgg5f)
Posted by: Count de Monet at November 25, 2025 04:32 PM (wVcYX)
Posted by: Smell the Glove at November 25, 2025 04:32 PM (bfwj/)
Posted by: Probably got an A in freshman comp too at November 25, 2025 04:33 PM (TbWk/)
If ever a picture rated a mystery click.
Posted by: Diogenes at November 25, 2025 04:33 PM (y3bZw)
Posted by: Miguel cervantes at November 25, 2025 04:33 PM (bXbFr)
Posted by: Paco at November 25, 2025 04:28 PM (mADJX)
Pubix cubes.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 25, 2025 04:33 PM (npFr7)
Posted by: whig at November 25, 2025 04:34 PM (WDjG6)
Posted by: Skip at November 25, 2025 04:34 PM (+qU29)
I'll just hold out for the Dr Seuss book with pictures.
Posted by: banana Dream at November 25, 2025 04:34 PM (3uBP9)
Posted by: toby928(c) at November 25, 2025 04:34 PM (jc0TO)
The existence of Olivia Nuzzi's writing proves that God cannot both be all-good and all-powerful.
As a writer, all I can say is ... word.
Posted by: imp at November 25, 2025 04:35 PM (g6TN6)
Posted by: whig at November 25, 2025 04:35 PM (WDjG6)
Posted by: Miguel cervantes at November 25, 2025 04:35 PM (bXbFr)
Posted by: wth at November 25, 2025 04:35 PM (v0R5T)
Posted by: Tonypete at November 25, 2025 04:35 PM (cYBz/)
Posted by: Smell the Glove at November 25, 2025 04:35 PM (bfwj/)
She wasn't worth all the hassle.
Posted by: Bobby Kennedy Jr at November 25, 2025 04:36 PM (IifOV)
Posted by: Skip at November 25, 2025 04:34 PM (+qU29)
34 So, she is a gay man's idea of a pretty woman.
Posted by: toby928(c) at November 25, 2025 04:34 PM (jc0TO)
=====
This made me LOL.
Posted by: Jordan61 at November 25, 2025 04:36 PM (DRSnL)
Posted by: fourseasons at November 25, 2025 04:36 PM (3ek7K)
-------
Let's be fair, she's a Panera Bread 6.
There is no 7, and she doesn't offer enough to move up into the coveted 8-10 range.
Posted by: Crusader at November 25, 2025 04:36 PM (TN0g+)
Posted by: Hokey Pokey at November 25, 2025 04:36 PM (r0dOk)
Well, duh!, how else am I going to decide which one I want to buy next? Stupid bint.
Posted by: Paco at November 25, 2025 04:36 PM (mADJX)
Posted by: Smell the Glove
======
So basically a Picasso.
Posted by: whig at November 25, 2025 04:36 PM (WDjG6)
This seems to sum up her entire oeuvre.
Posted by: Archimedes at November 25, 2025 04:36 PM (Riz8t)
Posted by: Oddbob at November 25, 2025 04:36 PM (3nLb4)
I almost took Ace's path to get out of that onr.
Posted by: bob (moron incognitus) at November 25, 2025 04:37 PM (kIamG)
Posted by: Paco at November 25, 2025 04:28 PM (mADJX)
Pubix cubes.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 25, 2025 04:33 PM
Haha! Yesssssssss!
Posted by: Ed McMahon at November 25, 2025 04:37 PM (jc0TO)
Posted by: Paco at November 25, 2025 04:37 PM (mADJX)
Posted by: Count de Monet at November 25, 2025 04:37 PM (wVcYX)
R
Posted by: Zombie Robbo the Llama Butcher, phoning it in at November 25, 2025 04:38 PM (7Uzjh)
Fucking hell, man. I did not sign up for the garrett experience today.
Also, let's see the nude first before we rush to judgement.
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at November 25, 2025 04:38 PM (zZu0s)
Posted by: Smell the Glove at November 25, 2025 04:38 PM (bfwj/)
Posted by: Smell the Glove
Oo!! I saw that film!! I believe it was called "Insatiable".
Posted by: Tonypete at November 25, 2025 04:38 PM (cYBz/)
Posted by: Miguel cervantes at November 25, 2025 04:38 PM (bXbFr)
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at November 25, 2025 04:39 PM (n9ltV)
.......
Wow. Now I'm impressed.
Posted by: wth at November 25, 2025 04:40 PM (v0R5T)
Posted by: CaliGirl at November 25, 2025 04:40 PM (fGmWu)
Posted by: Miguel cervantes at November 25, 2025 04:40 PM (bXbFr)
She's a Dracula's Castle 2.
Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM} at November 25, 2025 04:40 PM (xG4kz)
Posted by: NCDave at November 25, 2025 04:40 PM (VQC/c)
Ace, if you were trying to discredit the theory that you and garrett are the same person, this is....not helping.
Posted by: Dr. T at November 25, 2025 04:40 PM (KKJEY)
Posted by: Tonypete at November 25, 2025 04:38 PM (cYBz/)
It was so weird to see that Steve Martin arrow trick employed like that.
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at November 25, 2025 04:40 PM (zZu0s)
Posted by: Frasier Crane at November 25, 2025 04:40 PM (bNf8H)
Posted by: Miguel cervantes at November 25, 2025 04:40 PM (bXbFr)
Posted by: Martini Farmer at November 25, 2025 04:41 PM (NwnyJ)
And now it will be years before I consume one, without thinking of the horse-faced actress.
So cruel, Mr. Ace.
And so close to Pride Month.
Posted by: 2009Refugee at November 25, 2025 04:41 PM (8AONa)
We have to just add words, and add words, and add more words, whether they make sense when arranged next to each other or not.
Clickety-clack.
Paid by the word, not by the thought.
Posted by: imp at November 25, 2025 04:41 PM (g6TN6)
Posted by: Smell the Glove at November 25, 2025 04:41 PM (bfwj/)
Posted by: Romeo13 at November 25, 2025 04:42 PM (mP0Kj)
Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory, red heifer owner at November 25, 2025 04:42 PM (BC1U2)
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at November 25, 2025 04:42 PM (pkeXY)
Posted by: Miguel cervantes at November 25, 2025 04:42 PM (bXbFr)
Posted by: Northernlurker , Maple Syrup MAGA at November 25, 2025 04:42 PM (kTd/k)
I can often get around it by hitting the X on the address bar to stop loading the page. But it's a bit of a video game..... gotta hit it after the comments links appear, but before the mysterious reload code starts.
Posted by: mikeski at November 25, 2025 04:42 PM (OLTwP)
Posted by: Not Enough Lampposts at November 25, 2025 04:42 PM (r+xel)
Posted by: 2009Refugee
========
I say Neigh!!!!!
Posted by: Mr. Ed at November 25, 2025 04:42 PM (WDjG6)
Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at November 25, 2025 04:42 PM (P9xGM)
Posted by: Count de Monet at November 25, 2025 04:37 PM (wVcYX)
My exact thoughts on Ann Coulter, Calista Flockhart and late stage Megyn Kelly.
Also *slaps dick on table* the same thing about the angular face for Bo Derek.
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at November 25, 2025 04:42 PM (zZu0s)
Posted by: fd at November 25, 2025 04:43 PM (vFG9F)
Like, by Mondian? Or latterly mondianesque?
Posted by: m at November 25, 2025 04:43 PM (RuTUS)
Posted by: Paco at November 25, 2025 04:43 PM (mADJX)
Posted by: Grumpy and Recalcitrant at November 25, 2025 04:43 PM (O7YUW)
Posted by: m at November 25, 2025 04:43 PM (RuTUS)
Posted by: Not Enough Lampposts
======
As bad as it is, imagine an academic version of Nuzzi's prose. That is what has been published for the last 20-30 years in a lot of journals.
Posted by: whig at November 25, 2025 04:43 PM (WDjG6)
Posted by: steevy at November 25, 2025 04:44 PM (YwEeS)
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at November 25, 2025 04:44 PM (xcxpd)
Posted by: Skip at November 25, 2025 04:44 PM (+qU29)
The existence of Olivia Nuzzi's writing proves that God cannot both be all-good and all-powerful.
As a writer, all I can say is ... word.
Posted by: imp at November 25, 2025 04:35 PM (g6TN6)
But... BIRD is the word... this is known...
Posted by: Romeo13 at November 25, 2025 04:44 PM (mP0Kj)
Posted by: Smell the Glove at November 25, 2025 04:41 PM (bfwj/)
She already looked better than Lawrence Taylor's well muscled frame in his prime, what more does she want?!
-Marv Albert
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at November 25, 2025 04:45 PM (zZu0s)
Posted by: Count de Monet at November 25, 2025 04:45 PM (wVcYX)
Posted by: Miguel cervantes at November 25, 2025 04:45 PM (bXbFr)
Posted by: Not Enough Lampposts at November 25, 2025 04:42 PM (r+xel)
That can be arranged.
Posted by: Joseph Stalin at November 25, 2025 04:45 PM (KKJEY)
Posted by: toby928(c) at November 25, 2025 04:45 PM (jc0TO)
Posted by: CaliGirl at November 25, 2025 04:45 PM (fGmWu)
Posted by: Jack Package at November 25, 2025 04:45 PM (8LP6B)
Posted by: imp
=====
Dumas and Dickens were paid by the word but somehow made their works interesting and charming rather than tedious and boring.
Posted by: whig at November 25, 2025 04:45 PM (WDjG6)
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at November 25, 2025 04:39 PM (n9ltV)
Nuzzi. Final answer.
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at November 25, 2025 04:45 PM (zZu0s)
Posted by: Miguel cervantes at November 25, 2025 04:45 PM (bXbFr)
Posted by: CaliGirl at November 25, 2025 04:46 PM (fGmWu)
Posted by: Martini Farmer at November 25, 2025 04:41 PM (NwnyJ)
Even I have standards.
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at November 25, 2025 04:46 PM (n9ltV)
Limp Bizkit says the original line was "I did it all for the Nuzzi"
Posted by: People's Hippo Voice at November 25, 2025 04:46 PM (T3zUV)
Posted by: Miguel cervantes at November 25, 2025 04:46 PM (bXbFr)
Posted by: steevy at November 25, 2025 04:46 PM (YwEeS)
Posted by: Kamala at November 25, 2025 04:46 PM (8l8nW)
Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at November 25, 2025 04:47 PM (P9xGM)
Posted by: Miguel cervantes at November 25, 2025 04:47 PM (bXbFr)
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 25, 2025 04:47 PM (npFr7)
Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM} at November 25, 2025 04:47 PM (xG4kz)
Posted by: Darles Chickens at November 25, 2025 04:47 PM (c8xcb)
C'mon, Ace, you're making this up, aren't you? This is from some "pretentious prose" generator, right?
Posted by: Paco at November 25, 2025 04:48 PM (mADJX)
Posted by: Cray Cray at November 25, 2025 04:48 PM (OhTH/)
_______
This means that we are finally being punished for electing Obama. Twice. It's justice.
Posted by: Eeyore at November 25, 2025 04:48 PM (s0JqF)
Posted by: Gozer the Gozerian at November 25, 2025 04:48 PM (3uBP9)
LSD is a helluva drug ... so they say. This is LSD induced stream of (un?)consciousness.
Posted by: illiniwek at November 25, 2025 04:48 PM (vbXSk)
Posted by: Bulg at November 25, 2025 04:48 PM (77rzZ)
EVERYTHING is all about her.
A few minutes later, the planes swooped down to spray the flames in the bluffs.
*I* watched from the Pacific Coast Highway, as far away from
*my* problems as
*I* could get on land, which was not far enough.
Posted by: m at November 25, 2025 04:48 PM (RuTUS)
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at November 25, 2025 04:48 PM (zZu0s)
Posted by: Final Decision at November 25, 2025 04:48 PM (qUkBO)
Ace nails it -- she does not care about the reader. This kind of convoluted pointless writing is a sign of disrespect.
Posted by: bob (moron incognitus) at November 25, 2025 04:49 PM (kIamG)
Posted by: Puddleglum, cheer up for the worst is yet to come at November 25, 2025 04:49 PM (sAmhv)
Nuzzi the floozy has a coozy that's kerflooey.
Her brain is even worse.
Seriously, this is some of the worst writing I've ever had the misfortune to read
Posted by: imp at November 25, 2025 04:49 PM (g6TN6)
Posted by: Oddbob at November 25, 2025 04:49 PM (3nLb4)
Limp Bizkit says the original line was "I did it all for the Nuzzi"
Posted by: People's Hippo Voice at November 25, 2025 04:46 PM (T3zUV)
Oh, Brother Nuzzi, you must purge me... I need to be purged...
Posted by: Chandler in The Golden Child at November 25, 2025 04:49 PM (mP0Kj)
Posted by: Estelle Costanza at November 25, 2025 04:49 PM (R/m4+)
Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at November 25, 2025 04:49 PM (P9xGM)
Posted by: mrp at November 25, 2025 04:49 PM (rj6Yv)
Posted by: CaliGirl
======
Solipsism generates a black hole force field for people like her. Literally every thing revolves around her so she cannot help but tell us about it. And she does so in such tedious detail that makes Proust look succinct.
Her former boyfriend is not much better in his prose and for much of the same reason. These people do not write to communicate but rather to express whatever thought is rattling around in their brain.l
Posted by: whig at November 25, 2025 04:49 PM (WDjG6)
Of course this sort is al over mid wit publications like esquire and gq (the last did the sweeney interview)
Posted by: Miguel cervantes at November 25, 2025 04:49 PM (bXbFr)
Posted by: Pug Mahon at November 25, 2025 04:50 PM (PSEDc)
--
And to put out that fire, it's helpful to have a water tower above your house.
Posted by: Kevin in ABQ at November 25, 2025 04:50 PM (KdMAI)
Several of them surely feigned death in order to make the talking stop.
Posted by: 2009Refugee at November 25, 2025 04:50 PM (8AONa)
Nuzzi the floozy has a coozy that's kerflooey.
Her brain is even worse.
Seriously, this is some of the worst writing I've ever had the misfortune to read
Posted by: imp at November 25, 2025 04:49 PM (g6TN6)
Rates right up the with Michelle O's thesis, and Barry O's poetry.
Posted by: Chandler in The Golden Child at November 25, 2025 04:50 PM (mP0Kj)
Movie reviews have really gone downhill.
Posted by: Darles Chickens at November 25, 2025 04:47 PM (c8xcb)
*weeps manfully*
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at November 25, 2025 04:50 PM (xcxpd)
Posted by: Piper at November 25, 2025 04:50 PM (OoFl2)
Posted by: imp at November 25, 2025 04:51 PM (g6TN6)
Long-suffering is a virtue [looks anxiously at watch].
Well, that's enough virtue for one day,
Posted by: Paco at November 25, 2025 04:51 PM (mADJX)
This was different. I was too worried about this poor woman to laugh so hard. Also she reminds me of a girl I once dated -- I bet she "sings" along with the car radio.
Posted by: bob (moron incognitus) at November 25, 2025 04:51 PM (kIamG)
Posted by: Miguel cervantes at November 25, 2025 04:51 PM (bXbFr)
Posted by: Bulg at November 25, 2025 04:48 PM (77rzZ)
--
If the horns and tail were showing, I'd say more likely to be a succubus.
Posted by: Kevin in ABQ at November 25, 2025 04:51 PM (KdMAI)
Posted by: toby928(c) at November 25, 2025 04:51 PM (jc0TO)
Posted by: Bulg at November 25, 2025 04:52 PM (77rzZ)
Posted by: imp at November 25, 2025 04:52 PM (g6TN6)
Posted by: Puddleglum
======
Remind me not to pick VF up in a doctor's waiting room in that case.
Sticky pages are gross.
Posted by: whig at November 25, 2025 04:52 PM (WDjG6)
Posted by: imp at November 25, 2025 04:52 PM (g6TN6)
You just dashed off a convincing script for 5 minutes of it, like it was nothing -- I'm gonna guess you can list each of Carrie Bradshaw's 57 romantic interests in order.
Yikes. Kinda ghey, dude. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Posted by: Pastafarian at November 25, 2025 04:53 PM (sifs3)
-------------
Is it an albino beaver?
Posted by: ShainS -- Bury My Heart At a Texas MoMe at November 25, 2025 04:53 PM (T3zON)
The existence of Olivia Nuzzi's writing proves that God cannot both be all-good and all-powerful."
Heh ... yes, giving man free will (to choose good or evil) is all well and good, but this level of boring evil should be cast into some outer darkness, lest it spread to others.
Posted by: illiniwek at November 25, 2025 04:53 PM (vbXSk)
Posted by: Miguel cervantes at November 25, 2025 04:51 PM (bXbFr)
That should make her cooter a Superfund site.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 25, 2025 04:53 PM (npFr7)
Posted by: Jack Package at November 25, 2025 04:53 PM (8LP6B)
Posted by: Piper at November 25, 2025 04:50 PM (OoFl2)
=====
I dunno, Piper. She has a face like a shovel.
Posted by: Jordan61 at November 25, 2025 04:53 PM (DRSnL)
Hey, am I alone in hating every news article starting with "I was flying into Denver.... blah blah. And I walked into a office scattered with... blah blah.....
All that "new journalism" crap where they talk about themselves instead of the subject?
Posted by: bob (moron incognitus) at November 25, 2025 04:54 PM (kIamG)
________
She has never appeared in my dreams. Never.
Posted by: Eeyore at November 25, 2025 04:54 PM (s0JqF)
Posted by: imp at November 25, 2025 04:54 PM (g6TN6)
Posted by: BeckoningChasm at November 25, 2025 04:54 PM (CHHv1)
Posted by: m at November 25, 2025 04:54 PM (RuTUS)
I think the media will push anyone even remotely androgynous at this point. Still.
Posted by: ... at November 25, 2025 04:54 PM (E0p3T)
Posted by: Case at November 25, 2025 04:54 PM (5Je/N)
Posted by: toby928(c)
Faye Dunaway at her peak was far better-looking than this chick.
Posted by: Bulg at November 25, 2025 04:54 PM (77rzZ)
___
I'm half-way through "Vanity Fair." The 1848 British novel. Pretty good.
Posted by: B. Sharp at November 25, 2025 04:55 PM (qUkBO)
Posted by: Miguel cervantes at November 25, 2025 04:55 PM (bXbFr)
Posted by: illiniwek
=====
Sometimes the Lord works under the premise if you cannot be a good example, then he permits you to be a horrible one instead that no one wishes to emulate.
Posted by: whig at November 25, 2025 04:55 PM (WDjG6)
Posted by: Oldcat at November 25, 2025 04:55 PM (8avO+)
Posted by: m
======
Did Nuzzi help Harvey Weinstein water his ficus tree as well?
Posted by: whig at November 25, 2025 04:56 PM (WDjG6)
Posted by: Northernlurker , Maple Syrup MAGA at November 25, 2025 04:30 PM (kTd/k)
________
There are some things it was not meant for man to know.
Posted by: Eeyore at November 25, 2025 04:57 PM (s0JqF)
Posted by: Piper at November 25, 2025 04:50 PM (OoFl2)
=====
I dunno, Piper. She has a face like a shovel.
Posted by: Jordan61 at November 25, 2025 04:53 PM (DRSnL)
If you get to know her I'm sure the ugly comes out big time.
Posted by: Oldcat at November 25, 2025 04:57 PM (8avO+)
Posted by: toby928(c)
Faye Dunaway at her peak was far better-looking than this chick.
Posted by: Bulg at November 25, 2025 04:54 PM (77rzZ)
====
Keira Knightley 40 years from now, writing her memoirs.
Posted by: mrp at November 25, 2025 04:57 PM (rj6Yv)
Posted by: B. Sharp
I just finished Mary Shelley's Frankenstein, which I got for my birthday last week. Fascinating novel (and I don't generally like novels).
Posted by: Bulg at November 25, 2025 04:57 PM (77rzZ)
I think this poor lass has a mental defect though.
Posted by: bob (moron incognitus) at November 25, 2025 04:57 PM (kIamG)
Posted by: Count de Monet at November 25, 2025 04:57 PM (wVcYX)
Posted by: Chairborne!...Desk From Above! at November 25, 2025 04:57 PM (0t1wa)
Sheesh, this over-dramatic woman. What a theater kid!
Posted by: RFK, Jr at November 25, 2025 04:58 PM (OUE/9)
Posted by: whig at November 25, 2025 04:58 PM (WDjG6)
Posted by: Miguel cervantes at November 25, 2025 04:58 PM (bXbFr)
Posted by: Tom Servo at November 25, 2025 04:58 PM (ngbZu)
Posted by: bob (moron incognitus) at November 25, 2025 04:54 PM (kIamG)
A Journal is a personal document about your thoughts, feelings, and observations about an event.
A Report is a recitation of Facts.
When Reporters started to self identify as Journalists... the US Press started to decline... and continues to try to find the bottom... because now the 'Journalist' inserts themselves into the story.
Posted by: Romeo13 at November 25, 2025 04:58 PM (mP0Kj)
Posted by: Eeyore at November 25, 2025 04:57 PM (s0JqF)
Considering, I am betting hardwood floors as far as the eye can see.
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at November 25, 2025 04:59 PM (zZu0s)
Posted by: Miguel cervantes at November 25, 2025 04:59 PM (bXbFr)
I think the media will push anyone even remotely androgynous at this point. Still.
Posted by: ... at November 25, 2025 04:54 PM (E0p3T)
Lol
Posted by: CaliGirl at November 25, 2025 04:59 PM (fGmWu)
Why does anyone think I have any interest in the lesbian Japanese astronaut, or the bullying English prep kids, or the Indian woman and her cheating spouse?
I mean, it had Sam Neil in it so I had higher hopes but, the killed him IN EPISODE 1, leaving me with no one of interest.
Posted by: toby928(c) at November 25, 2025 04:59 PM (jc0TO)
Posted by: BruceWayne at November 25, 2025 04:59 PM (MGB5H)
________
She has never appeared in my dreams. Never.
Posted by: Eeyore at November 25, 2025 04:54 PM (s0JqF)
She's like slenderman, but horrifies us with bad prose.
Posted by: banana Dream at November 25, 2025 04:59 PM (3uBP9)
Posted by: toby928(c)
Faye Dunaway at her peak was far better-looking than this chick.
Posted by: Bulg at November 25, 2025 04:54 PM (77rzZ)
And regal. And timeless.
Posted by: m at November 25, 2025 04:59 PM (RuTUS)
Posted by: moviegique (buy my books) at November 25, 2025 04:59 PM (asXVI)
Posted by: Chairborne!...Desk From Above! at November 25, 2025 04:59 PM (0t1wa)
---------
Those teeth!
Posted by: Martini Farmer at November 25, 2025 05:00 PM (NwnyJ)
Posted by: Skip at November 25, 2025 05:00 PM (+qU29)
Posted by: Soothsayer at November 25, 2025 05:00 PM (BihGC)
Posted by: bob (moron incognitus)
Didn't T. S. Eliot use that style in The Love Song of J Alfred Prufrock?
"In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo."
Posted by: Tonypete at November 25, 2025 05:00 PM (cYBz/)
Autistic Detail Ace is best Ace.
Posted by: Soothsayer at November 25, 2025 05:01 PM (BihGC)
Her writing is long-form Vogon prose, which would drive even them mad.
It is unhinged stream-of-consciousness that doesn't even bother with theme or coherence.
A mind reader, able to stand at a New York intersection listening to the simultaneous mumblings of 10,000 souls at a time, would struggle to decipher her writing and would retreat to the relative sanity of the crowded city.
Posted by: People's Hippo Voice at November 25, 2025 05:01 PM (T3zUV)
Posted by: Count de Monet"
Unless you are a Kennedy.
Posted by: fd at November 25, 2025 05:01 PM (vFG9F)
Posted by: Tom Servo at November 25, 2025 04:58 PM (ngbZu)
Did you read the whole thing!
Posted by: m at November 25, 2025 05:01 PM (RuTUS)
Posted by: Tom Servo at November 25, 2025 04:58 PM (ngbZu)
So, it was boring but funny.
Are you comparing ace to Family Circle?!?
Fuck dude. Call him gayvall day and make fun of the China pattern he and Garrett are getting, but damn.
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at November 25, 2025 05:01 PM (zZu0s)
Maybe they were looking for the switch to turn her prose off.
Posted by: Paco at November 25, 2025 05:01 PM (mADJX)
Posted by: DaveA at November 25, 2025 05:01 PM (FhXTo)
Posted by: Romeo13 at November 25, 2025 04:58 PM (mP0Kj)
===
Muckrakers doin' what Muckrakers do best, digging dirt from the river bottom.
Posted by: mrp at November 25, 2025 05:01 PM (rj6Yv)
Posted by: Olivia Nuzzi at November 25, 2025 05:01 PM (BihGC)
Posted by: bluebell at November 25, 2025 05:02 PM (79pEw)
Are you trying to make me look stupid in front of the other guests?!
You don't need any help from me sir.
That's right!
Posted by: Wonkish Rogue at November 25, 2025 05:02 PM (JAqQQ)
Posted by: Miguel cervantes at November 25, 2025 05:02 PM (bXbFr)
Posted by: moviegique (buy my books) at November 25, 2025 04:59 PM (asXVI)
Damn.
Nice.
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at November 25, 2025 05:02 PM (zZu0s)
Posted by: steevy at November 25, 2025 05:02 PM (YwEeS)
Posted by: Skip at November 25, 2025 05:02 PM (+qU29)
Posted by: BruceWayne
======
"A dream to some. A nightmare to others!"
Posted by: Merlin in Excalibur! at November 25, 2025 05:02 PM (WDjG6)
Posted by: DanMan at November 25, 2025 05:02 PM (8uzBS)
Posted by: Northernlurker , Maple Syrup MAGA at November 25, 2025 05:02 PM (kTd/k)
Posted by: m at November 25, 2025 05:02 PM (RuTUS)
A Report is a recitation of Facts.
When Reporters started to self identify as Journalists... the US Press started to decline... and continues to try to find the bottom... because now the 'Journalist' inserts themselves into the story.
Posted by: Romeo13 at November 25, 2025 04:58 PM (mP0Kj)
That's a great description and you're exactly right. Another word for journal can be diary. Which should never be confused with or accepted as "reporting".
Posted by: Chairborne!...Desk From Above! at November 25, 2025 05:03 PM (0t1wa)
Nice.
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at November 25, 2025 05:02 PM (zZu0s)
---
Thank you, sir. It was a deep cut but I knew some would get it.
Posted by: moviegique (buy my books) at November 25, 2025 05:03 PM (asXVI)
Posted by: man at November 25, 2025 05:03 PM (XuXeR)
She's like slenderman, but horrifies us with bad prose.
Posted by: banana Dream
Lol, instead of killing you, she makes you kill yourself just to make it stop
Posted by: imp at November 25, 2025 05:03 PM (g6TN6)
Posted by: m at November 25, 2025 05:02 PM
They faked their own deaths.
Posted by: toby928(c) at November 25, 2025 05:03 PM (jc0TO)
Posted by: Skip at November 25, 2025 05:00 PM (+qU29)
The ChatGPT results for that search would be ... troubling.
Posted by: mrp at November 25, 2025 05:03 PM (rj6Yv)
Posted by: The Mantastic Tor at November 25, 2025 05:03 PM (We5PL)
Listicles, you guys!
Everyone loves internet listicles. Probably the cheapest "content" anyone can produce -- a "list."
Posted by: Soothsayer's Listicles at November 25, 2025 05:03 PM (BihGC)
Posted by: Marcus T at November 25, 2025 05:03 PM (Qgg5f)
--------
"The drone of the car engine murmurred. I could feel it like a cat in heat. Smoke billowed from the roof as we arrived at dusk. But it didn't matter. All I knew was I wanted it. And by God, I was going to get it. But I couldn't have what I wanted. The ice cream machine was broken."
--------
Posted by: ... at November 25, 2025 05:03 PM (E0p3T)
Posted by: bluebell at November 25, 2025 05:02 PM (79pEw)
Maybe they have!
Posted by: m at November 25, 2025 05:03 PM (RuTUS)
She is the telomerase for all writing. She caps both ends with nonsense to prevent the narrative thread both from developing any sense and from collapsing under its own ponderousness.
Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM} at November 25, 2025 05:03 PM (xG4kz)
Posted by: steevy at November 25, 2025 04:46 PM (YwEeS)
_______
Since we've had two decent ones this week, we're due.
Posted by: Eeyore at November 25, 2025 05:04 PM (s0JqF)
Posted by: steevy at November 25, 2025 05:02 PM (YwEeS)
A friend told me there is an entire genre of movies about Japanese lesbians.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 25, 2025 05:04 PM (npFr7)
Posted by: Wyatt Earp at November 25, 2025 05:04 PM (ZRzmB)
Posted by: Bulg at November 25, 2025 04:54 PM (77rzZ)
And regal. And timeless.
Posted by: m
My favorite Faye Dunaway scene is in Network, where she's doing the nasty with Bill Holden and is babbling away about market share the whole time.
Although her joan crawford impression was medusan in itd horror
Posted by: Miguel cervantes
Yeah, I can't watch that flick.
Posted by: Bulg at November 25, 2025 05:04 PM (77rzZ)
Vanity Fair just published its latest cheap-clickbait Listicle:
"Top" "100" "Best" "Comedies" of "all time"
Posted by: Soothsayer's Listicles at November 25, 2025 05:04 PM (BihGC)
Not anymore, at least.
Because the amount of LSD and cocaine it'd take to seriously read what she writes yet remain sane is a Kill Dose.
Posted by: People's Hippo Voice at November 25, 2025 05:05 PM (T3zUV)
Posted by: 18-1 at November 25, 2025 05:05 PM (sKqQm)
More like "creek of sleep apnea" writing.
Posted by: Paco at November 25, 2025 05:05 PM (mADJX)
--------
"The drone of the car engine murmurred. I could feel it like a cat in heat. Smoke billowed from the roof as we arrived at dusk. But it didn't matter. All I knew was I wanted it. And by God, I was going to get it. But I couldn't have what I wanted. The ice cream machine was broken."
--------
Posted by: ... at November 25, 2025 05:03 PM (E0p3T)
This is MUCH better writing than hers.
Posted by: m at November 25, 2025 05:05 PM (RuTUS)
Posted by: Darth Randall at November 25, 2025 05:05 PM (f1kZG)
Posted by: UncleJefe at November 25, 2025 05:05 PM (gAuAm)
Solipsism generates a black hole force field for people like her. Literally every thing revolves around her so she cannot help but tell us about it. And she does so in such tedious detail that makes Proust look succinct.
These people do not write to communicate but rather to express whatever thought is rattling around in their brain.
Posted by: whig at November 25, 2025 04:49 PM (WDjG6)
Condensed Nuzzi:
People often, often people I do not know very well, reach out to tell me that I have appeared in their dreams. I wonder if this is because I sleep so little.
Condensed:
I think I'm pretty. I can't sleep.
Posted by: Oldcat at November 25, 2025 05:05 PM (8avO+)
My dreams are all boring slop, but turns out, I'm all action when I have walk-in cameo appearances.
Posted by: banana Dream at November 25, 2025 05:06 PM (3uBP9)
Posted by: KEIFF OLBERMANN at November 25, 2025 05:06 PM (IByKi)
The Foundation Trilogy. In Sanscrit.
That's my take...
Posted by: man at November 25, 2025 05:03 PM (XuXeR)
Hunter S. Thompson, on LSD, rewriting The Foundation Trilogy?
(I know.... don't cross the streams! or memes!)
Posted by: Romeo13 at November 25, 2025 05:06 PM (mP0Kj)
Posted by: Miguel cervantes at November 25, 2025 05:06 PM (bXbFr)
Didn't T. S. Eliot use that style in The Love Song of J Alfred Prufrock?
"In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo."
Posted by: Tonypete
--------------------
Who came first. Eliot or James Joyce?
No, Don't answer that.
Posted by: bob (moron incognitus) at November 25, 2025 05:06 PM (kIamG)
Did it involve fucking like bunnies?
Posted by: toby928(c) at November 25, 2025 05:06 PM (jc0TO)
Posted by: Silvio at November 25, 2025 05:07 PM (R/m4+)
Posted by: Oddbob at November 25, 2025 05:07 PM (3nLb4)
Posted by: KEIFF OLBERMANN at November 25, 2025 05:06 PM (IByKi)
Can we call it a Tallywhacker?
Posted by: Principal of Angel Beach High at November 25, 2025 05:07 PM (mP0Kj)
Posted by: BruceWayne at November 25, 2025 05:07 PM (MGB5H)
Posted by: Northernlurker
Nazca lines. Named after the Nazca Desert, not a people.
Posted by: Bulg at November 25, 2025 05:07 PM (77rzZ)
Posted by: m at November 25, 2025 05:05 PM (RuTUS)
Sometimes I need time to get into character.
Posted by: ... at November 25, 2025 05:07 PM (E0p3T)
-------------
That would be to: "Lie back and think of Olbermann."
Posted by: ShainS -- Bury My Heart At a Texas MoMe at November 25, 2025 05:07 PM (9XAh4)
---------
Those teeth!
Posted by: Martini Farmer at November 25, 2025 05:00 PM (NwnyJ)
Follow. But! Follow only if ye be men of valor! For the entrance to this snizz is guarded by a creature so foul, so cruel, that no man yet has fought with it... and lived! BONES of full fifty men lie *strewn* about its lair! So! Brave knights! If you do doubt your courage or your strength, come no further, for death awaits you all with nasty, big, pointy teeth...
Posted by: Tim at November 25, 2025 05:08 PM (wVcYX)
Posted by: imp at November 25, 2025 05:08 PM (g6TN6)
But the left lives in this odd ever changing bubble. Do you know there is a literal trans-genocide? Ignore, for a moment that 10 years ago gay rights activists would have told you trannies were weird freaks and there are no such things as trans-rights.
So suddenly because the right side of the country didn't embrace their odd view of biology they are "under attack" and the "resistance".
Posted by: 18-1 at November 25, 2025 05:08 PM (sKqQm)
Posted by: Smell the Glove at November 25, 2025 05:08 PM (bfwj/)
@zerohedge . 12m
Trump Snubs Zelensky's Urgent Meeting Request - Will Host Only When Final Deal Is Agreed
Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at November 25, 2025 05:08 PM (P9xGM)
That's right!
Posted by: Wonkish Rogue at November 25, 2025 05:02 PM (JAqQQ)
*golfclap*
Well played.
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at November 25, 2025 05:09 PM (zZu0s)
Posted by: imp at November 25, 2025 05:09 PM (g6TN6)
Posted by: man at November 25, 2025 05:09 PM (XuXeR)
https://shorturl.at/2UROR
Posted by: GWB at November 25, 2025 05:09 PM (tq4sY)
What's Vanity Fair's #100?
Why it's Bridget Jones Diary, of course! We all remember that hilarious knee-slapper, right?
Dr Stranglelove is their #13.
#3 Annie Hall - not funny
#2 Some Like It Hot
**This Will Shock You**
#1: The Naked Gun
Posted by: Soothsayer's Listicles at November 25, 2025 05:09 PM (BihGC)
For the love of God, please don't have the beaver art feature on CBD's weekday Art Thread with a Zappa mystery click.,
Posted by: Unknown Drip Under Pressure at November 25, 2025 05:09 PM (a4flb)
Posted by: Chairborne!...Desk From Above! at November 25, 2025 05:03 PM (0t1wa)
Who was that reporter that someone (maybe Ace) said you should place "Dear Diary: " at the top of their articles?
Posted by: Oldcat at November 25, 2025 05:10 PM (8avO+)
Posted by: Northernlurker
Nazca lines. Named after the Nazca Desert, not a people.
Posted by: Bulg at November 25, 2025 05:07 PM (77rzZ)
The Horde knows everything.
Posted by: m at November 25, 2025 05:10 PM (RuTUS)
---
This trap is depicted in "Dream Scenario". Don't fall for it!
Posted by: moviegique (buy my books) at November 25, 2025 05:10 PM (asXVI)
Posted by: Ralph at November 25, 2025 05:10 PM (8WZD4)
Posted by: Piper at November 25, 2025 04:50 PM (OoFl2)
=====
I dunno, Piper. She has a face like a shovel.
Posted by: Jordan61 at November 25, 2025 04:53 PM (DRSnL)
If you get to know her I'm sure the ugly comes out big time.
Posted by: Oldcat at November 25, 2025 04:57 PM (8avO+)
________
Women love to say things like that. My wife used to say that Lena Dunham would be bad looking if... (followed by a litany of things she did wrong.)
Don't forget Saki's line. "With her, as with most of her sex, charity began at homeliness and generally didn't go much further."
Posted by: Eeyore at November 25, 2025 05:10 PM (s0JqF)
I saw a leak of what the Russians are asking for and it looks about right - recognizing where the war is and frankly what the people living in those areas want.
And the left is freaking out, "this is a surrender!" and...you know what it is. Perhaps the Ukes should have abided by the Minsk accords if they didn't want the people in the Eastern parts of Ukraine to leave.
Posted by: 18-1 at November 25, 2025 05:10 PM (sKqQm)
No. They're Canadians who drew giant beavers in the snow.
Posted by: man at November 25, 2025 05:10 PM (XuXeR)
Posted by: toby928(c) at November 25, 2025 05:10 PM (jc0TO)
Posted by: Eromero at November 25, 2025 05:11 PM (LHPAg)
Just gotta say: I am *SHOCKED* little shit zelensky did not attend cheney's funeral
Posted by: Soothsayer's Listicles at November 25, 2025 05:11 PM (BihGC)
I was right there with you, right about at that point lol
I'm ded
Posted by: BlackOrchid at November 25, 2025 05:11 PM (emBoF)
I started writing this but did not understand how long the excerpt was. I just kept on commenting without ever realizing this was just a huge post.
Posted by: ace at November 25, 2025 05:11 PM (1wjle)
My wife and I went to see that the weekend we found out she was pregnant, because we needed something light to keep us from freaking out.
Renee Z. was cute as a button in that flick.
Posted by: Bulg at November 25, 2025 05:11 PM (77rzZ)
Posted by: 18-1 at November 25, 2025 05:11 PM (sKqQm)
You can see the shape of something but you're wrong because you must pay 6 figures to show how moved you are by the piece.
Posted by: People's Hippo Voice at November 25, 2025 05:11 PM (T3zUV)
oh gosh but that is unfair to Hunter Thompson
Posted by: BlackOrchid at November 25, 2025 05:11 PM (emBoF)
Posted by: ace at November 25, 2025 05:12 PM (1wjle)
Posted by: Bulg at November 25, 2025 05:07 PM (77rzZ)
Didn't that Kraut fella with the shoe polish on his head write a book about them?
Posted by: Made Bank Too at November 25, 2025 05:12 PM (R/m4+)
Is that wrong? Nobody told me that was wrong.
Posted by: Oddbob at November 25, 2025 05:07 PM (3nLb4)
it is during the news segments...
Posted by: Oldcat at November 25, 2025 05:12 PM (8avO+)
Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at November 25, 2025 05:12 PM (P9xGM)
With a midget.
Let the good times roll!
Posted by: Martini Farmer at November 25, 2025 05:12 PM (NwnyJ)
Posted by: Bulg at November 25, 2025 05:12 PM (77rzZ)
hey also the "monster" excerpt looks like you wrote it instead of Nuzzi?
or did you? I think you were quoting there. the monstery-canyony thing
Posted by: BlackOrchid at November 25, 2025 05:12 PM (emBoF)
Only thing I learned was RFK Jr texted his way to some nookie. Good job buddy. Now run.
Posted by: Guy Mohawk at November 25, 2025 05:13 PM (n5tGW)
Posted by: toby928(c) at November 25, 2025 05:06 PM (jc0TO)
No dear penthouse here although someone else heard the conversation and raised an eyebrow. But truth was she was just a very straightforward gal, the kind that survives in male dominated engineering, and would just say what she was thinking. Much younger than me, and married. We had been through a lot of crazy crap together and would talk about anything really. She was great to work with. Yes, she was also extremely attractive.
Posted by: banana Dream at November 25, 2025 05:13 PM (3uBP9)
And she shows it off to all her friends
One day, you know, that beaver tried to leave her
So she caged him up with cyclone fence
Along came Lou with the old baboon
And said, "Recognize that smell?
Smells like seven layers
That beaver eats Taco Bell"
Posted by: Hatari somewhere on Ventura Highway at November 25, 2025 05:13 PM (NtVYv)
Pitiful.
She has no idea what a woman is or should be.
Posted by: tcn, Pickle Queen in AK at November 25, 2025 05:13 PM (6Bc88)
Posted by: imp at November 25, 2025 05:13 PM (g6TN6)
With a midget."
You could have one hell of a weekend with that...
Posted by: man at November 25, 2025 05:13 PM (XuXeR)
I planned so carefully to not have to shop tomorrow but the boys drank all the beer
it was even in the garage fridge! bad little men
Posted by: BlackOrchid at November 25, 2025 05:13 PM (emBoF)
Posted by: Eeyore at November 25, 2025 05:13 PM (s0JqF)
Nazca lines. Named after the Nazca Desert, not a people.
Posted by: Bulg at November 25, 2025 05:07 PM (77rzZ)
The Horde knows everything.
Posted by: m
She's got more of a Nazgul vibe going.
Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM} at November 25, 2025 05:13 PM (xG4kz)
Posted by: Paco at November 25, 2025 05:13 PM (mADJX)
The clown show unfolded Sunday, when Thunberg and 35 other members of the radical environmental group, Extinction Rebellion, were censured after they dyed Venice’s Grand Canal green in protest.
Posted by: SMOD at November 25, 2025 05:14 PM (B5maf)
1) Sex with an older, powerful man
2) Using sex to get access
Posted by: 18-1 at November 25, 2025 05:14 PM (sKqQm)
-------------
Old & Busted: Bonus Hole.
New Hotness: Bonus Box.
Posted by: ShainS -- Bury My Heart At a Texas MoMe at November 25, 2025 05:14 PM (dL5jz)
Posted by: President Zelenskyy at November 25, 2025 05:14 PM (IifOV)
surprisingly okay. I had a dolt for a register girl but I didn't have that much so even her stupidity didn't slow things down that much.
Posted by: ace at November 25, 2025 05:14 PM (1wjle)
Posted by: scampydog at November 25, 2025 05:14 PM (2bFN5)
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at November 25, 2025 05:15 PM (pkeXY)
Posted by: Tom Servo
I aim to be tediously funny.
I usually hit the nine-ring on "WTF?"
Posted by: mikeski at November 25, 2025 05:15 PM (OLTwP)
Posted by: Crusader at November 25, 2025 05:15 PM (TN0g+)
oops. Yeah, tomorrow is the day you don't want to be in a market.
I got to mine at like 4:30 so I beat the evening rush.
Posted by: ace at November 25, 2025 05:16 PM (1wjle)
Posted by: m at November 25, 2025 05:16 PM (RuTUS)
Posted by: Eeyore
Even a 2d-rate Sharon Tate would still be awesome.
Posted by: Bulg at November 25, 2025 05:16 PM (77rzZ)
you'll have a stroke someday my man!
Posted by: BlackOrchid at November 25, 2025 05:16 PM (emBoF)
Posted by: From about That Time at November 25, 2025 05:16 PM (sl73Y)
Posted by: ace at November 25, 2025 05:16 PM (1wjle)
Posted by: Bulg at November 25, 2025 05:16 PM (77rzZ)
Posted by: Made Bank Too at November 25, 2025 05:12 PM (R/m4+)
von Daniken never wrote a book on one subject, he just tossed in facts like a salad and added a question and moved on.
"The lines extend for distances, drawn in the earth itself. What alien technology was needed to create such displays?"
I think the non European natives could handle using a stick to draw lines in the desert.
In the hack lineup, he's not as fun as Velikovsky, say.
Posted by: Oldcat at November 25, 2025 05:17 PM (8avO+)
If I was rich, famous, and a Kennedy, I would be going after women way better looking than that. She's a bathroom quickie while you're on your way back to your son's birthday party and you've forgotten her name by the time you sit down for cake.
Posted by: Nelly at November 25, 2025 05:17 PM (Yjkx/)
Posted by: fourseasons at November 25, 2025 05:17 PM (3ek7K)
Posted by: Paco at November 25, 2025 05:17 PM (mADJX)
Posted by: Soothsayer's Listicles at November 25, 2025 05:17 PM (BihGC)
Posted by: BlackOrchid at November 25, 2025 05:17 PM (emBoF)
Posted by: Smell the Glove at November 25, 2025 05:18 PM (bfwj/)
Posted by: BlackOrchid at November 25, 2025 05:18 PM (emBoF)
It was always burning
Since the world's been turning
We didn't start the fire
No, we didn't light it
But we tried to fight it
Posted by: SpeakingOf at November 25, 2025 05:18 PM (6ydKt)
Posted by: fourseasons at November 25, 2025 05:17 PM (3ek7K)
TLDR maybe from caffeine.
Posted by: m at November 25, 2025 05:18 PM (RuTUS)
I ate that shit up. "The Legend of Boggie Creek," "The Lincoln Conspiracy," etc.
Dragged 'em to those flicks, too.
Posted by: Bulg at November 25, 2025 05:18 PM (77rzZ)
$1,000 stylist
$500 makeup at Elizabeth Arden (if they still exist.)
$10,000 photographer
etc.
Without that and she is a closing time 3
Posted by: bob (moron incognitus) at November 25, 2025 05:18 PM (kIamG)
But the 'Meaning beyond meaning' BS is your typical white woman wanting and striving for something in her life to be important right after she sent a pic of her butthole to someone on snap chat
Posted by: Blanco at November 25, 2025 05:18 PM (q83gU)
Posted by: Soothsayer's Listicles at November 25, 2025 05:17 PM (BihGC)
No one tell him about the Mtn Dew.
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at November 25, 2025 05:18 PM (zZu0s)
1) Sex with an older, powerful man
2) Using sex to get access
Posted by: 18-1 at November 25, 2025 05:14 PM (sKqQm)
Feminists like that stuff fine until they get older.
Posted by: Oldcat at November 25, 2025 05:19 PM (8avO+)
Posted by: lin-duh at November 25, 2025 05:19 PM (VCgbV)
I started writing this but did not understand how long the excerpt was. I just kept on commenting without ever realizing this was just a huge post.
Posted by: ace at November 25, 2025 05:11 PM (1wjle)
Ya see, learn from Ace. He always gets you hooked by underselling the length and girth.
Posted by: Harvard Business Review - Reading List at November 25, 2025 05:19 PM (3uBP9)
1) Sex with an older, powerful man
2) Using sex to get access
Posted by: 18-1 at November 25, 2025 05:14 PM (sKqQm)
--------------
3) Whoring herself out to be kept by a man right out of high school.
Oh wait, nevermind ...
/She's probably had more than enough abortions to pay proper "penance" to The Cult
Posted by: ShainS -- Bury My Heart At a Texas MoMe at November 25, 2025 05:19 PM (dL5jz)
Well, since her beaver’s had many logs in its dam, this could be some other politician she’s talking about.
Posted by: Elric the Blade at November 25, 2025 05:19 PM (19Bvr)
@EndWokeness . 6h
New York residents told to call a "quality of life team" (not NYPD) while mob attacked a wealthy white area…
Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at November 25, 2025 05:20 PM (P9xGM)
Posted by: Guy Mohawk at November 25, 2025 05:13 PM (n5tGW)
Was it consummated?
Posted by: m at November 25, 2025 05:20 PM (RuTUS)
Posted by: Soothsayer's Listicles at November 25, 2025 05:17 PM (BihGC)
No one tell him about the Mtn Dew.
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at November 25, 2025 05:18 PM (zZu0s)
Jolt Cola - "All the Sugar, Twice the Caffeine" crossed the line to mood altering drug.
Posted by: Oldcat at November 25, 2025 05:20 PM (8avO+)
I swear I don't dye my hair blonde anymore but I'm that Italian mom. it's chaos over here lol
Posted by: BlackOrchid at November 25, 2025 05:20 PM (emBoF)
Posted by: 18-1 at November 25, 2025 05:20 PM (sKqQm)
------
Na na na na na na,
Na na na na na na na na na.
Posted by: Crusader at November 25, 2025 05:21 PM (TN0g+)
Posted by: Harvard Business Review - Reading List at November 25, 2025 05:19 PM (3uBP9)
Just the tip, my ass!
-garrett
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at November 25, 2025 05:21 PM (zZu0s)
Caddyshack is Variety's #22
It Happened One Night (1934) is #19
Young Frankenstein, at #9, is beaten out by Fargo #8. I don't remember laughing once during Fargo.
Posted by: Soothsayer's Listicles at November 25, 2025 05:22 PM (BihGC)
Posted by: m at November 25, 2025 05:22 PM (RuTUS)
Anyhow, if she has to do shit like this to get attention, she may as well resign her job to "spend more time with her family."
Posted by: nerdygirl at November 25, 2025 05:22 PM (0Htd1)
Posted by: BlackOrchid at November 25, 2025 05:22 PM (emBoF)
Posted by: Oldcat
Jolt and cheap bourbon was a guaranteed memorable evening.
Posted by: MkY at November 25, 2025 05:23 PM (q6tQZ)
-------------
"NO WORM IS ILLEGAL, H8R!"
Posted by: ShainS -- Bury My Heart At a Texas MoMe at November 25, 2025 05:23 PM (dL5jz)
Posted by: Soothsayer's Listicles at November 25, 2025 05:25 PM (BihGC)
I ate that shit up. "The Legend of Boggie Creek," "The Lincoln Conspiracy," etc.
Dragged 'em to those flicks, too.
Posted by: Bulg at November 25, 2025 05:18 PM (77rzZ)
When Velikovsky was claiming the planet Venus caused all the Biblical content from Exodus to Joshua he used the discovery of hydrocarbons in Venus to claim it proved that *carbohydrates* fell to explain the Mana from heaven.
Gasoline is not the same as bread.
Posted by: Oldcat at November 25, 2025 05:25 PM (8avO+)
I started writing this but did not understand how long the excerpt was. I just kept on commenting without ever realizing this was just a huge post.
Posted by: ace at November 25, 2025 05:11 PM (1wjle)
So and how does this make you any different from...her? Just askin'.
Posted by: Chairborne!...Desk From Above! at November 25, 2025 05:27 PM (0t1wa)
LOL, Damn, Ace, that's funny
Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at November 25, 2025 05:28 PM (ynpvh)
I didn't even know Vanilla Coke Zero existed.
Posted by: Soothsayer's Listicles at November 25, 2025 05:17 PM (BihGC)
They spent like 70 years having no variants, not even Diet. It was the New Coke Fiasco plus Pepsi's plunge into variants that opened the floodgates.
Posted by: Oldcat at November 25, 2025 05:28 PM (8avO+)
Robert Garza, a cybersecurity analyst for the company, was meeting at a restaurant with Martin Bally, one of Campbell’s vice presidents, to discuss his salary.
He secretly recorded statements made by the VP and chief information security officer during a November 2024 meeting. In a rant that lasted over an hour, here are some of the things captured on the recording.
Local 4 News in Detroit broadcast portions of the recording. In it, a speaker identified as Bally is heard saying,
--“We have s**t for f***king poor people. Who buys our s**t? I don’t buy Campbell’s products barely anymore. It’s not healthy now that I know what the f**‘s in it.”
--He also referenced “bioengineered meat,” saying, “I don’t wanna eat a piece of chicken that came from a 3D printer.”
_ZH
Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at November 25, 2025 05:29 PM (P9xGM)
Posted by: Ace at 04:20 PM
That fits with what I have found as a 29-year-old, that it gets harder and harder to meet and connect with people, since experience makes it clearer and clearer that it's unlikely to be worth it. There's a natural human tendency to be *worse* to people the closer they are, as if testing it, so you're likely to be treated better by them by remaining a mere acquaintance.
This ties in with the brilliant He-Man PSA meme that I have quoted before, "There are two kinds of people: avoid them both. Until next time, friends!" Some are charismatic jerks who will treat you shabbily because they're accustomed to getting away with it, and others are nice by habit because they're boring and accustomed to getting tossed at the first meanness. Then there's the worst of both worlds: middling people who are nice until you start to be their friend, at which point they start being jerks, as if in relief to finally (they think) be able to get away with it. Best to avoid both.
Posted by: SciVo at November 25, 2025 05:29 PM (Sy6m/)
Posted by: imp at November 25, 2025 05:29 PM (g6TN6)
Bodycam shows escaped ‘Slender Man’ stabber Morgan Geyser busted with transgender friend
-
Do NOT click on this link.
https://is.gd/egrUSM
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Why Do the Heathen Rage? at November 25, 2025 05:29 PM (L/fGl)
Posted by: Dr. Fausti - I WAS The Science at November 25, 2025 05:30 PM (8hxDK)
I didn't even know Vanilla Coke Zero existed.
Posted by: Soothsayer's Listicles
-----------
To distract you from noticing that the original formula Coke was eliminated and reduced in quality and taste.
Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at November 25, 2025 05:31 PM (P9xGM)
"Garcon, I fancy a cup of your finest hemlock '13".
"An excellent choice, monsure, 2013 was a most excellent year. Would you care for a crisp leaf of lettuce sprinkled with camabere on the side?
Posted by: Minuteman at November 25, 2025 05:31 PM (47/pr)
Posted by: Ktgreat at November 25, 2025 05:37 PM (33LJY)
Posted by: Big Penguin at November 25, 2025 05:41 PM (0sNs1)
I tried a vanilla-infused version of Dr. Pepper at a restaurant and wanted it at home, the closest they make is the Cream Soda flavor.
I’ll get tired of it eventually but I’m going to enjoy my one can a day for a bit longer.
Posted by: SpeakingOf at November 25, 2025 05:42 PM (6ydKt)
Posted by: nurse ratched at November 25, 2025 05:47 PM (W2Pud)
I started writing this but did not understand how long the excerpt was. I just kept on commenting without ever realizing this was just a huge post.
Posted by: ace at November 25, 2025 05:11 PM (1wjle)
I have that problem all the time when fishing something really stupid. Larry Correia made a book out of one of his (about the 2A).
Posted by: GWB at November 25, 2025 05:51 PM (tq4sY)
Posted by: Skip at November 25, 2025 05:52 PM (+qU29)
* wing flaps in unison *
Posted by: Big Penguin at November 25, 2025 05:41 PM (0sNs1)
heh, he said flaps
Posted by: Hatari somewhere on Ventura Highway at November 25, 2025 06:01 PM (NtVYv)
Posted by: Beartooth at November 25, 2025 06:10 PM (0714D)
Posted by: Susan D Harms at November 25, 2025 06:16 PM (Kkd7F)
And you're not really teh ghey for knowing so much about that goddamned show -- I watched it too. Innovative for its time.
Posted by: Pastafarian at November 25, 2025 06:18 PM (sifs3)
Posted by: Way, Way Downriver at November 25, 2025 06:27 PM (zdLoL)
Posted by: WTP at November 25, 2025 06:52 PM (4cfLi)
Posted by: Indy Bill at November 25, 2025 06:56 PM (rZKoi)
Euclidean stairs into her beaver?"
The one savory piece of corn in this entire turd-post...
Posted by: TakeFive at November 25, 2025 07:03 PM (4DupB)
Posted by: GWB at November 25, 2025 08:35 PM (Srm6K)
Posted by: weft cut-loop at November 25, 2025 04:31 PM (mlg/3)
I got that reference! Yes, I think this is another case where K-Smog and Batboy got caught flipping a grunt.
Posted by: SciVo at November 25, 2025 09:18 PM (Sy6m/)
"He was the mouse and the architect of his maze. The giver of his own pleasure and torment. He desired. He desired desiring. He desired being desired. He desired desire itself."
OR
"I BREAK BITCHES!"
Which is the more evocative? Just asking for a friend.
Posted by: wickedpinto at November 25, 2025 09:21 PM (j0s2W)
I'll just hold out for the Dr Seuss book with pictures.
Posted by: banana Dream at November 25, 2025 04:34 PM (3uBP9)
I recommend the one by Gary Larson (of Far Side).
Posted by: SciVo at November 25, 2025 09:23 PM (Sy6m/)
Posted by: Oldcat at November 25, 2025 05:10 PM (8avO+)
Jim Acosta. Every photo of him looks as if it should be captioned, "Dear Diary: My farts, though always delightful, have never been more fragrant. I think it was the anise in the Italian sausage. I should have it more often."
Posted by: SciVo at November 25, 2025 09:49 PM (Sy6m/)
"I just want to eat my waffle."
So profound. The syrup, brown, like his father, butter, nearly white, like his mother. The waffle, toasted to be in between, with hills and valleys, swelling like his rhetoric and holes where his soul should have been. Red, the color of his passionate Marxism, splayed violently over his hash browns. He stirs his coffee with a spoon like Big Mike taking him from behind.
This is Obama, my muse, my mystery.
Posted by: LGBTQ+POC, ANTI RACIST HERO at November 25, 2025 10:03 PM (6mk7C)
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