"France's Crown Jewels" Stolen in Daring Daylight Heist from Louvre; French Right Blames "<i>Le Wokisme</i>" and the Drive to Hire Women No Matter What Their Qualifications

"France's Crown Jewels" Stolen in Daring Daylight Heist from Louvre; French Right Blames "Le Wokisme" and the Drive to Hire Women No Matter What Their Qualifications

I first heard it took seven minutes. Now they're claiming four -- but I think they're claiming it took less time to sell the idea that "there was nothing that anyone could have done to stop this, even if a qualified person was in charge of security."

You know why they're pushing that message.

"France's Crown Jewels" -- they're not really that, they're just priceless jewels with a historic legacy -- are worth an estimated $100 million.

If sold as they are, physically intact, and with their provenance intact. Which they can't be, of course.

The daylight heist about 30 minutes after opening, with visitors already inside, was among the highest-profile museum thefts in living memory and comes as staff complained that crowding and thin staffing are straining security.

Repeat after me: "There was nothing that anyone could have done, even if the director of security was chosen based on qualifications rather than what she's got between her legs."

The theft unfolded just 250 meters (270 yards) from the Mona Lisa, in what Culture Minister Rachida Dati described as a professional "four-minute operation."
One object, the emerald-set imperial crown of Napoleon III's wife, Empress Eugénie, containing more than 1,300 diamonds, was later found outside the museum, French authorities said. It was reportedly recovered broken.
Images from the scene showed confused tourists being steered out of the glass pyramid and adjoining courtyards as officers closed nearby streets along the Seine.
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A lift -- which officials say the thieves brought and which was later removed -- stood against the Seine-facing façade, their entry route and, observers said, a revealing weakness: that such machinery could be brought to a palace-museum unchecked.

There was nothing that anyone could have done, even if someone qualified were the head of security.

Around 9:30 a.m., several intruders forced a window, cut panes with a disc cutter and went straight for the glass display cases, officials said.

There was nothing that anyone could have done, even if a qualified director of security had trained and drilled the guards to come running at the sound of breaking glass.

Interior Minister Laurent Nunez said the crew entered from outside using a basket lift via the riverfront facade to reach the hall with the 23-item royal collection.
Their target was the gilded Apollon Gallery, where the Crown Diamonds are displayed, including the Regent, the Sancy and the Hortensia.
The thieves smashed two display cases and fled on motorbikes, Nunez said. No one was hurt. Alarms brought Louvre agents to the room, forcing the intruders to bolt, but the theft was already done.
Eight objects were taken, according to officials: a sapphire diadem, necklace and single earring from a matching set linked to 19th-century French queens Marie-Amélie and Hortense; an emerald necklace and earrings from the matching set of Empress Marie-Louise, Napoleon Bonaparte's second wife; a reliquary brooch; Empress Eugénie's diadem; and her large corsage-bow brooch -- a prized 19th-century imperial ensemble.
"It's a major robbery," Nunez said...

No shit? Pas de merde?

... noting that security measures at the Louvre had been strengthened in recent years and would be reinforced further as part of the museum's upcoming overhaul plan. Officials said security upgrades include new-generation cameras, perimeter detection, and a new security control room.

Whatever.

Police are searching for the three thieves. One of them may be named Pierre Despereaux and another uses various aliases including Lavender Goombs, Sillypants Jackson, Ghee Buttersnaps, Ovaltine Jenkins, Longbranch Pennywhistle, and Scooney "U-Turn" Singleton.

People are talking about the thieves chopping up the jewels into smaller, more salable gems but that would destroy about 90% of the value of the jewels. What I imagine, based on years of study and watching the first four seasons of Leverage, is that the thieves intend to ransom the jewels back to the Louvre.

The gay furry communist webzine Daily Beast is shrieking that MAGA is blaming the theft on woke DEI hiring of females based on their gender and not their abilities. Unfortunately for America's leading furry community webzine, the facts seem to indicate that's exactly what happened.

French and American conservatives have made Sunday's daylight Louvre heist the site of a battle in the culture wars upon learning the museum's security head is a woman.
After thieves executed a surprisingly simple heist to rob the museum of jewels that belonged to Napoleon's family, France's far right began blaming "le wokisme," believing Dominique Buffin, the first woman hired as security chief at the Louvre, was chosen for her gender and not her merits.

Speaking on French radio station Europe 1, Erik Tegnér, founder of far-right French news outlet Frontiéres, said, "The Louvre's security director would have been chosen not based on her abilities, but because she is a woman. It is this destruction by wokeism that we find notably in the United States."

On X, EU parliament member Marion Maréchal, niece of far-right French leader Marine Le Pen, said Buffin's hire was "part of a feminization policy" in France and demanded her resignation.
The basis for these claims appears to stem from a 2024 article in Le Monde, which said "feminization of recruitment" is important to Laurence Des Cars, the museum's first female director. Conservatives have jumped on this sentence to suggest Buffin is unqualified for the job and only got it because she is female.

Buffin, 46, began her career as a police officer in 2001. In 2013, she joined the Ministry of Culture, where she worked as an adviser on the security of French museums. In 2017, she was promoted to senior defense deputy and security official at the Ministry of Culture, and in 2024 was named the Louvre's security director.
...
The Daily Beast has reached out to the Louvre, which does not have a formal Diversity, Equity and Inclusion policy, for comment.

Oh, they don't have a formal policy of DEI. They just talk about le wokisme and the need for the "feminization of recruitment."

Was it really this woman's fault? Is she really unqualified?

I don't know. I don't work there.

But I do know this: the left insists on hiring based on factors having nothing to do with qualifications, experience, and ability, and then when things go south -- and they go south a lot -- they claim that the people they previously admitted were hired for anti-merit reasons were the the very best people for the job.

They keep claiming, absurdly, that although they confess they have reduced the required qualifications down to almost nothing as long as you are female or minority or "queer," this system just happens to keep coincidentally resulting in the most qualified people being hired. Female, minority, and "queer" people are hired for anti-merit reasons, but they insist that it turns out these anti-merit hiring criteria just so happen to result in the most meritorious candidates being hired.

In other words: We don't need the system of preferences and quotas at all because, according to the left, the most qualified people are being hired despite the anti-merit hiring practices. Thus, without these preferences and quotas, the allegedly "best" people for the job would have been hired anyway.

They're the best, right?

I'm sorry, I'm going to need more than "there was nothing anyone could have done, trust us, bro."

The thieves just literally pushed a very tall ladder/basket lift against the building at 9:30 in the morning, used power tools to cut through the exterior window, walked in and started smashing-and-grabbing. They were in and out in seven minutes.

But... the Louvre has hundreds of security guards. No one saw the ladder/"basket lift"? No one came running at the sound of smashing glass?

They walked into Louvre Museum at 9:30 a.m.

Used a crane. Smashed a window.
Stole the French crown jewels in 4 minutes.
No violence. Just precision.

If a world-famous museum can be robbed in broad daylight… what does that say about the guardians of culture? pic.twitter.com/cUn0DX9qnx
— Culture Explorer (@CultureExploreX) October 19, 2025

They didn’t just steal the crown jewels.
They stole a piece of France’s soul.
And shockingly, they were not insured.

Today, they reopened the Louvre. But behind the glass pyramid, a wound is still bleeding. The Apollo Room remains closed.

And France is still waiting for… pic.twitter.com/VZIb62fOLG
— Culture Explorer (@CultureExploreX) October 22, 2025

“The Louvre is closed because of a theft — more or less the same reason it was opened.”

Italian Sarcasm 🇮🇹 pic.twitter.com/rRphPEikJD
— Mambo Italiano (@mamboitaliano__) October 20, 2025

Louvre's budget: €250 million

Louvre's password: 1234 https://t.co/W2FgUNTPgT pic.twitter.com/DXKcIdEx7b
— Muse (@xmuse_) October 22, 2025

The Louvre's first female museum director hired the first female security chief and less than a year later Napoleon's crown jewels were stolen in broad daylight while the museum was open. https://t.co/hBny4suW9e
— 👣ℙ𝕖𝕕𝕣𝕠'𝕤 𝕄𝕦𝕤𝕥𝕒𝕔𝕙𝕖🇺🇲 (@OfAthenry) October 21, 2025

This account claims the jewels were protected by armored glass and would drop into below-the-floor safes if the glass were cut -- until 2019, when this actual security was replaced by... normal glass and no drop-thorugh-the-floor safes.

The head of the Louvre said her mission was to reduce the "elitism" of the Louvre and "democratize" art. Did she decide that bulky armored displays were too "elite" and separate the people from their jewels

Failed French president Manny Macron announced an exciting new possibility for Louvre security.

Happy Humpday, y'all!

Posted by: Ace at 12:10 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Called the others.

Posted by: Grumpy and Recalcitrant at October 22, 2025 12:10 PM (O7YUW)

2 ST

Posted by: Boss Moss at October 22, 2025 12:11 PM (sGHnN)

3 Stupid Frech.

Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at October 22, 2025 12:11 PM (i24o9)

4 1 Called the others.

Posted by: Grumpy and Recalcitrant at October 22, 2025 12:10 PM (O7YUW)

And left the 1st open. True gentlemen.

Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at October 22, 2025 12:11 PM (i24o9)

5 Now somebody stole their N.

Posted by: Boss Moss at October 22, 2025 12:11 PM (sGHnN)

6 The head of the Louvre said her mission was to reduce the "elitism" of the Louvre and "democratize" art.

Sure, Jan

Posted by: dantesed at October 22, 2025 12:12 PM (Oy/m2)

7

I wonder if the thieves had "inside" help.

Posted by: four seasons at October 22, 2025 12:13 PM (3ek7K)

8 Check E-bay.

Posted by: Minnfidel at October 22, 2025 12:13 PM (ewjUl)

9 You'd think a Team of Karens could keep most anything safe. Look at those haircuts.

Posted by: Dr Spank at October 22, 2025 12:13 PM (6Pd36)

10 Now somebody stole their N.

Posted by: Boss Moss at October 22, 2025 12:11 PM (sGHnN)

It's the perfect crime. It's probably a iside job. I would start lookig at Q.

Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at October 22, 2025 12:13 PM (i24o9)

11 Le' Fuq.

Posted by: Minnfidel at October 22, 2025 12:13 PM (ewjUl)

12 I actually touched the Mona Lisa back in 1971. It was not protected in any way back then. I have noticed that it is glass protected now.

Posted by: toby928(c) at October 22, 2025 12:13 PM (jc0TO)

13 That place is swanky.

Posted by: Boss Moss at October 22, 2025 12:13 PM (sGHnN)

14 "The Louvre's first female museum director hired the first female security chief and less than a year later Napoleon's crown jewels were stolen in broad daylight while the museum was open."

Gee I guess hiring someone based solely on their gender or color of skin might not be such a good idea after all.

Posted by: Mister Scott (Formerly GWS) at October 22, 2025 12:14 PM (0N4FZ)

15 Some middle eastern sheikh could buy them, and they will disappear from the west, like many artworks have.

Posted by: Nick in Tallahassee at October 22, 2025 12:14 PM (wrEn7)

16 The Buffin chick is kinda cute.

Posted by: Dirac_Delta at October 22, 2025 12:14 PM (6P0f1)

17 Can I just take a moment to appreciate how we MAGA types are getting blamed for noticing wokeism in other countries?

Posted by: NR Pax at October 22, 2025 12:15 PM (99eI0)

18 Das Boob?

Posted by: Jurgen Prochnow at October 22, 2025 12:15 PM (7Q0e+)

19 We Surrender.

Posted by: French Security at October 22, 2025 12:15 PM (sGHnN)

20 more than 1,300 diamonds

Someone is pissed at themselves for dropping this.

Posted by: toby928(c) at October 22, 2025 12:15 PM (jc0TO)

21 Somehow, CBD is involved in this.

Posted by: dantesed at October 22, 2025 12:15 PM (Oy/m2)

22 The French are such fuckheads that I almost find myself cheering for the thieves here. Picturing Michael Caine in "The Italian Job".

And I've always thought, when I let my fantasies run towards spectacular heists, that one of the easiest ways to do such a thing was to do it in broad daylight, with incredible speed, and count on the shock causing everyone to just stand and stare while you did it and got away.
Of course that plan requires a complete lack of actual security on site.

Posted by: Tom Servo at October 22, 2025 12:15 PM (uWKK8)

23 Police are searching for the three thieves. One of them may be named Pierre Despereaux and another uses various aliases including Lavender Goombs, Sillypants Jackson, Ghee Buttersnaps, Ovaltine Jenkins, Longbranch Pennywhistle, and Scooney "U-Turn" Singleton.
-------

I have it on good authority that the Police would also like a word with Willie Mays Hayes.

Posted by: Crusader at October 22, 2025 12:16 PM (TN0g+)

24 The theft unfolded just 250 meters (270 yards) from the Mona Lisa...

What is the point of including this factoid except to name check something recognizable by the average schmo? I mean, it's not likely that the thieves were going to run "just" over an eight of a mile each way from where they broke in to try to steal that too.

Posted by: Oddbob at October 22, 2025 12:16 PM (3nLb4)

25 It is good to be reminded that incompetence is a global product and not an isolated phenomenon.

Posted by: Corona_exile_back_in_exile at October 22, 2025 12:16 PM (4TAOz)

26 Willowed:

Since the space shuttle was given to NYC by Obama, and since none of the statues in the city of Houston have been torn down - give the 250 year statue to us. Antifa during 2020 announced it was going to tear down some statues at night in Houston, but a sheriff went on the radio and reminded them that in TX, criminal mischief after dark is grounds for the use of deadly force. Yes, you can get shot for painting graffiti on a fence after dark here.

Posted by: An Observation sez Trump is my President at October 22, 2025 12:17 PM (Da7Vv)

27 The Buffin chick is kinda cute.
-------

She's not a Hooters 8.

Posted by: Crusader at October 22, 2025 12:17 PM (TN0g+)

28 The Van Goghs are safe.

Posted by: Boss Moss at October 22, 2025 12:17 PM (sGHnN)

29 I'm shocked they had no insurance on these jewels.

Posted by: JackStraw at October 22, 2025 12:17 PM (viF8m)

30 "Culture Minister Rachida Dati "

I think I see the problem here.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at October 22, 2025 12:18 PM (8zz6B)

31 I'm shocked they had no insurance on these jewels.
Posted by: JackStraw at October 22, 2025 12:17 PM

Insurance companies would have audited the security.

Posted by: toby928(c) at October 22, 2025 12:18 PM (jc0TO)

32 1-2-3-4? That's the kind of thing an idiot would have on his luggage!

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at October 22, 2025 12:18 PM (ySpAZ)

33 Can I just take a moment to appreciate how we MAGA types are getting blamed for noticing wokeism in other countries?

Posted by: NR Pax at October 22, 2025 12:15 PM (99eI0)

Counterargument. DailyBeast.

Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at October 22, 2025 12:18 PM (i24o9)

34 You can have you crown jewels or you can have Karen police chiefs.

Up to you France.

Posted by: 18-1 at October 22, 2025 12:18 PM (sKqQm)

35 Afternoon ace.
Must have been the security chief's time of the month. I denounce myself

Posted by: Smell the Glove at October 22, 2025 12:18 PM (8RjCi)

36 Wait, how do you say Karen in French?

Posted by: 18-1 at October 22, 2025 12:18 PM (sKqQm)

37 Louvre security chief Dominique Buffin

Buffin? Ain't nuffin!

Posted by: Diogenes at October 22, 2025 12:19 PM (2WIwB)

38 Why do I keep hearing Mancini?

Posted by: man at October 22, 2025 12:19 PM (JJphd)

39 Why do the French have all those Van Goghs? Wasn't he Dutch?

Posted by: Boss Moss at October 22, 2025 12:19 PM (sGHnN)

40 Is naked ottoman guy still intact?

Posted by: Meade Lux Lewis, Domestic Terrorist at October 22, 2025 12:19 PM (paSBy)

41 The head of the Louvre said her mission was to reduce the "elitism" of the Louvre and "democratize" art. Did she decide that bulky armored displays were too "elite" and separate the people from their jewels

WTF does that even mean?

Posted by: Archimedes at October 22, 2025 12:19 PM (Riz8t)

42 They even look the same over there, the Wokesters. It's uncanny.

Posted by: Washington Nearsider - Preparing for the reckoning at October 22, 2025 12:19 PM (oSeBJ)

43 You had one job.

Posted by: Boss Moss at October 22, 2025 12:19 PM (sGHnN)

44 So 4m and a single guard with a gun couldn't get there in time?

Posted by: 18-1 at October 22, 2025 12:19 PM (sKqQm)

45 What happened at the Louvre was a tragedy, but I believe it would be an even greater tragedy if Diversity becomes a casualty here.

Posted by: I am the Shadout Mapes, the Art Historian at October 22, 2025 12:20 PM (PiwSw)

46 I'm shocked they had no insurance on these jewels.
Posted by: JackStraw at October 22, 2025 12:17 PM

Well, it's the French.

Posted by: dantesed at October 22, 2025 12:20 PM (Oy/m2)

47 White women have been far and away the biggest beneficiaries of affirmative action.

Posted by: The ARC of History! at October 22, 2025 12:20 PM (xTIDn)

48 The head of the Louvre said her mission was to reduce the "elitism" of the Louvre and "democratize" art. Did she decide that bulky armored displays were too "elite" and separate the people from their jewels.

How the absolute FU*K can you justify this???
What an absolute idiot.

Posted by: Diogenes at October 22, 2025 12:20 PM (2WIwB)

49 Face it, France is as fucked up as the US with DEI hires.

Posted by: Gmac - WTF did you think was going to happen? at October 22, 2025 12:20 PM (qZdIZ)

50 "There was nothing that anyone could have done,

Shooting them tends to stop them.

Posted by: rickb223 Acehole Extraordinaire coined by JSpicy at October 22, 2025 12:20 PM (Qd7dZ)

51 The Van Goghs are safe.
-------

I've heard for years that the Van Goghs and other such works are indeed safe....safely tucked away elsewhere, and that replicas are on display due to influx of Muslims.

Posted by: Crusader at October 22, 2025 12:21 PM (TN0g+)

52 Good afternoon Ace and everyone

Posted by: Skip at October 22, 2025 12:21 PM (xatjc)

53 "France's Crown Jewels" Stolen...worth an estimated $100 million...If sold as they are, physically intact, and with their provenance intact. Which they can't be, of course.

!!!! I've been afraid to part with my family jewels, but I'm willing to reconsider with those kinds of prices!!!

Posted by: Dylan Mulvaney at October 22, 2025 12:21 PM (JCZqz)

54 A DEImond heist

Posted by: ... at October 22, 2025 12:22 PM (lonsH)

55 WTF does that even mean?"

"We're broke"

Posted by: man at October 22, 2025 12:22 PM (tubbA)

56 The Louvre security would be improved by Inspector Clouseau and Paul Blart , Mall Cop

Posted by: Smell the Glove at October 22, 2025 12:22 PM (8RjCi)

57 Is having "family jewels" really a prerequisite for being able to protect the crown jewels?

Posted by: tankdemon at October 22, 2025 12:22 PM (ltH/c)

58 1-2-3-4? That's the kind of thing an idiot would have on his luggage!
Posted by: RedMindBlueState

*makes note to change combination when I get home.

Posted by: rickb223 Acehole Extraordinaire coined by JSpicy at October 22, 2025 12:23 PM (Qd7dZ)

59 Well, the jewels are no longer separated from the people, so there's that.

Posted by: Ex Rex Reeder at October 22, 2025 12:23 PM (MZ+PY)

60 7

I wonder if the thieves had "inside" help.
Posted by: four seasons at October 22, 2025 12:13 PM (3ek7K)

They did, but because the people running the place are retards, not because there was a specific co-conspirator within the Louvre for the heist.

Posted by: Hey let's leave the place wide open! at October 22, 2025 12:23 PM (TbWk/)

61 Looks like you'd expect. OTOH, Marion Maréchal, ("niece of far-right French leader Marine Le Pen") isn't half bad looking. Somehow, I'm not shocked.

Posted by: Eeyore (Is, Eum) at October 22, 2025 12:23 PM (s0JqF)

62 The Louvre security would be improved by Inspector Clouseau and Paul Blart , Mall Cop
Posted by: Smell the Glove at October 22, 2025 12:22 PM

Hell, it would have been improved by Inspector Gadget.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at October 22, 2025 12:23 PM (ySpAZ)

63 Oh good grief I thought there were no guards, but I just found this quote on X: "After threatening guards with their power tools, the thieves took 9 pieces from the glass cases, then left the museum by descending the ladder to two other members of the crew, who were waiting on motor scooters."

So the museum did have security on site, and they basically stood there and smiled and nodded while it all was stolen. (reminds me of Holy Grail)

Posted by: Tom Servo at October 22, 2025 12:23 PM (uWKK8)

64 Security was on a cigarette break.

Posted by: Boss Moss at October 22, 2025 12:23 PM (sGHnN)

65 3 Stupid Frech.
Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at October 22, 2025 12:11 PM (i24o9)

'Riund these parts, people read thst and assume you're writing about David.

Posted by: tankdemon at October 22, 2025 12:24 PM (ltH/c)

66 That part of the museum faces the river, and the street is usually pretty busy.

What a shit-show this is. But... other European museums have had robberies, and defacing by environmentalists is common.

I love the democratizing of the Louvre. I guess she was serious, and it is simply redistribution of its treasures to "The People!"

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo...know-nothing progressive at October 22, 2025 12:24 PM (n9ltV)

67 I believe the jewels were stored in glass cases, literally.

Posted by: Dr Spank at October 22, 2025 12:24 PM (fTG6a)

68 The Buffin chick is kinda cute.
Posted by: Dirac_Delta at October 22, 2025 12:14 PM (6P0f1)

Meh. Waffle House 3, at best.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at October 22, 2025 12:24 PM (8zz6B)

69 The head of the Louvre said her mission was to reduce the "elitism" of the Louvre and "democratize" art. Did she decide that bulky armored displays were too "elite" and separate the people from their jewels

WTF does that even mean?
Posted by: Archimedes

It means that she wants to make it easier for the awful people to steal and/or damage the artwork for political purposes.

Posted by: Madamemayhem (uppity wench) at October 22, 2025 12:24 PM (2J/Lj)

70 Security got distracted by a mime performance in the lobby.

Posted by: dantesed at October 22, 2025 12:24 PM (Oy/m2)

71 I wonder if the thieves had "inside" help.
Posted by: four seasons

They did, but because the people running the place are retards, not because there was a specific co-conspirator within the Louvre for the heist.
Posted by: Hey let's leave the place wide open!

I'll take that kind of help any day.

Posted by: rickb223 Acehole Extraordinaire coined by JSpicy at October 22, 2025 12:25 PM (Qd7dZ)

72 1-2-3-4? That's the kind of thing an idiot would have on his luggage!
Posted by: RedMindBlueState

*makes note to change combination when I get home.
Posted by: rickb223 Acehole Extraordinaire coined by JSpicy at October 22, 2025 12:23 PM

Sign and countersign having been given, commenting may proceed safely.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at October 22, 2025 12:25 PM (ySpAZ)

73 1-2-3-4? That's the kind of thing an idiot would have on his luggage!"

You left off the 5...

Posted by: man at October 22, 2025 12:25 PM (tubbA)

74 One word , Insidejob .

Posted by: runner at October 22, 2025 12:26 PM (g47mK)

75 Security got distracted by a mime performance in the lobby.
Posted by: dantesed

Sounds like the beginning of a Jason Statham movie.

Posted by: rickb223 Acehole Extraordinaire coined by JSpicy at October 22, 2025 12:26 PM (Qd7dZ)

76 One of the properties of glass is that it's fragile iirc.

Posted by: Boss Moss at October 22, 2025 12:26 PM (sGHnN)

77 47 White women have been far and away the biggest beneficiaries of affirmative action.

especially the lesbian ones

Posted by: BlackOrchid at October 22, 2025 12:26 PM (emBoF)

78 I also saw the British Crown Jewels in the Tower of London. They were behind about four inches of armored glass, with guards.

You ain't stealing those.

Posted by: toby928(c) at October 22, 2025 12:26 PM (jc0TO)

79 Oh good grief I thought there were no guards, but I just found this quote on X: "After threatening guards with their power tools, the thieves took 9 pieces from the glass cases, then left the museum by descending the ladder to two other members of the crew, who were waiting on motor scooters."

So the museum did have security on site, and they basically stood there and smiled and nodded while it all was stolen. (reminds me of Holy Grail)
Posted by: Tom Servo at October 22, 2025 12:23 PM (

"But they threatened us with a severe taunting!"

Posted by: Josephistan at October 22, 2025 12:26 PM (y9ksN)

80 Among the more destructive delusions forced upon everyone by the left is the notion that humans are simply interchangeable meat sticks. Percentages and proportions of various ethnicities or skin tones, sex characteristics should be exactly proportional to their representation in society. If not, then the only possible conclusion is RACISM or SEXISM, blah blah.

They are livid at the concepts of skills, aptitude, experience, and hard work. Persistence will take one farther than anything. “The harder I work, the luckier I get.”

They reject this, they want to wear a big watch, flight suit, and Ray-Bans, but they don’t want to go to Flight School. They want to wear scrubs and wear a stethoscope, but they don’t want to work in Residency or go to Medical School.

Posted by: Common Tater at October 22, 2025 12:26 PM (ACATy)

81 Le retarde.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory, red heifer owner at October 22, 2025 12:26 PM (DYX76)

82 Mission Impossible, et al always show hyper-competent criminals vying against world-class security systems and eventually foiled by even more hyper-competent government employees. I'm beginning to suspect this may be fiction.

Posted by: Farmer Bob at October 22, 2025 12:26 PM (hlNLQ)

83 63 So the museum did have security on site, and they basically stood there and smiled and nodded while it all was stolen. (reminds me of Holy Grail)
Posted by: Tom Servo at October 22, 2025 12:23 PM (uWKK

======

If they stopped the robbers and hurt them, the guards would be sued for meanness to redistibutive justice, or something.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, seeing dreamlike horrors with Mario Bava at October 22, 2025 12:27 PM (GBKbO)

84 Dang it, I am going to have to change my passwords.

Posted by: Boss Moss at October 22, 2025 12:27 PM (sGHnN)

85 The truth is that the museum has no security at all. One man with a revolver could have prevented this heist. The shame of woke France is displayed for the world. Tis to laugh.

Posted by: Xipe Totec at October 22, 2025 12:27 PM (pohLc)

86 After threatening guards with their power tools"

I've got an angle grinder and am not afraid to use it...

Posted by: man at October 22, 2025 12:27 PM (tubbA)

87 I watched a YT vid of the jewels stolen, and their provenance.

Crown jewels, simply irreplaceable and definitely impossible to sell unless it's to Dr. Evil and Number 2 in their secret lair

Posted by: kallisto at October 22, 2025 12:27 PM (dCxaZ)

88 "Affirmative Action" is the mode the Left used to infiltrate and advance inside every corporation.

Posted by: ... at October 22, 2025 12:28 PM (lonsH)

89 This post be full of Psych! refs.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at October 22, 2025 12:28 PM (bss/y)

90 Security was on a cigarette break.
-------
You laugh, but smoking continues to be treated by society at large as a *serious* obligation. My Dad had a significant health issue that forced him to spend more than a month at a physical rehabilitation center. His condition required help anytime he needed to go to the restroom, change clothes, move from chair to bed or bed to chair, etc. The first night he was there he had to wait a HALF AN HOUR to go to the bathroom because...wait for it...all of the staff were assisting those in-patients who smoke with the walk-outside so they could have their final smoke of the day.

My Mom and I reported that the next morning, and it never happened again during his stay.

Posted by: Crusader at October 22, 2025 12:28 PM (TN0g+)

91 The cordless drill with the thing that goes up.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory, red heifer owner at October 22, 2025 12:28 PM (DYX76)

92 They did like three TV movies of Psych after the series ending episode, btw. Kind of odd. The guy who played Lassie suffered some sort of stroke.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at October 22, 2025 12:29 PM (bss/y)

93 89- how many hats?

Posted by: Farmer Bob at October 22, 2025 12:29 PM (hlNLQ)

94
And I've always thought, when I let my fantasies run towards spectacular heists, that one of the easiest ways to do such a thing was to do it in broad daylight, with incredible speed, and count on the shock causing everyone to just stand and stare while you did it and got away.
Of course that plan requires a complete lack of actual security on site.
Posted by: Tom Servo at October 22, 2025 12:15

The secret is to act like you belong there and no one will question you. Confidence goes a long way apparently.

Posted by: CaliGirl at October 22, 2025 12:29 PM (hs4ik)

95 1-2-3-4? That's the kind of thing an idiot would have on his luggage!"

You left off the 5...
Posted by: man at October 22, 2025 12:25 PM

I was quoting that Muse girl. Not my fault she can't meme properly.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at October 22, 2025 12:29 PM (ySpAZ)

96 They will return them for 1 Million Dollars.

Posted by: Boss Moss at October 22, 2025 12:29 PM (sGHnN)

97 notion that humans are simply interchangeable meat sticks."

Okay...

/bears everywhere

Posted by: man at October 22, 2025 12:29 PM (tubbA)

98 Failed French president Manny Macron announced an exciting new possibility for Louvre security.

===

😂😂😂

Posted by: runner at October 22, 2025 12:29 PM (g47mK)

99 This movie cries out for canisters of sleep gas being introduced into the ventilation system.

Posted by: toby928(c) at October 22, 2025 12:29 PM (jc0TO)

100 The head should be fired for this but will she.

Posted by: WisRich at October 22, 2025 12:30 PM (G0vdT)

101 That s/b head of security

Posted by: WisRich at October 22, 2025 12:30 PM (G0vdT)

102 The secret is to act like you belong there and no one will question you. Confidence goes a long way apparently.
Posted by: CaliGirl at October 22, 2025 12:29 PM /i]

The clipboard effect.

Posted by: toby928(c) at October 22, 2025 12:30 PM (jc0TO)

103 Ok, I'm the dummy that thought all of the treasure type displays were copies of the originals held in vaults. Quell idiot.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at October 22, 2025 12:30 PM (mlg/3)

104 dammit

Posted by: toby928(c) at October 22, 2025 12:30 PM (jc0TO)

105 The British crown jewels are surrounded by armed security, in a space that's purposefully dark to obscure the security measures, and is inside the grounds of the Tower of London -- there's only one gate to enter the grounds.

In Rome we saw a coin collection that dated back to the Roman Republic and up to last century -- and entry there was through a two-foot-thick vault door.

These clowns WANTED this theft to happen.

Posted by: Rob Crawford at October 22, 2025 12:30 PM (1OiAC)

106 I was quoting that Muse girl. Not my fault she can't meme properly"

So you're surrounded by assholes?

Posted by: man at October 22, 2025 12:31 PM (tubbA)

107 A further symptom of western decline, Fwance despite its many hypocrisies and ample flaws was for a long while at least a state with serious security and secret police in the pursuit of its own interests.

Women took care of that with their insane political preferences seemingly predicated on undermining the proper role of the Westphalian nation-state as "hello."

Posted by: sven at October 22, 2025 12:31 PM (MUJd1)

108 Government’s “self-insure”.

I doubt the Smithsonian has insurance either.

Posted by: Common Tater at October 22, 2025 12:31 PM (I/Icm)

109 Perhaps they thought the crane was being used by moslems. Therefore out of bounds.

Or maybe it had a small rainblow fag on it.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at October 22, 2025 12:31 PM (WPL6O)

110 The secret is to act like you belong there and no one will question you. Confidence goes a long way apparently.
Posted by: CaliGirl at October 22, 2025 12:29 PM

And walking purposefully while carrying a clipboard.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at October 22, 2025 12:31 PM (ySpAZ)

111 She's not a Hooters 8.

An 8 is really beautiful and quite rare, the same way a person with an actual IQ of 145 is really smart and you are unlikely to meet one today.

Posted by: An Observation sez Trump is my President at October 22, 2025 12:31 PM (Da7Vv)

112 Fetchez la vache!

Posted by: I am the Shadout Mapes, proposing new security measures at October 22, 2025 12:31 PM (PiwSw)

113 Repeat after me: "There was nothing that anyone could have done, even if the director of security was chosen based on qualifications rather than what she's got between her legs."

----------------

Kimberly Cheatle is tanned, rested, ready, available, and only nearly lost a President's Head.

Make 30 For 30 Great Again!

/How do you say that in French?

Posted by: ShainS -- Bury My Heart At a Texas MoMe at October 22, 2025 12:31 PM (zQlkF)

114 It was me!

First I steel your girl, then I steel your jewels!

Posted by: Henrí (from Cheers you idiot) at October 22, 2025 12:32 PM (BLqOI)

115 Uh oh. Someone's earnings report mist have sucked. Sudden nosedive in the market that I am on the wrong side of.

Posted by: toby928(c) at October 22, 2025 12:32 PM (jc0TO)

116 The head should be fired"

The big head?

Posted by: man at October 22, 2025 12:32 PM (tubbA)

117 So you're surrounded by assholes?
Posted by: man at October 22, 2025 12:31 PM

Well, I do work in Boston.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at October 22, 2025 12:32 PM (ySpAZ)

118 The pieces will be sold to Russian Oligarchs. Broken up and resold.

Posted by: Xipe Totec at October 22, 2025 12:32 PM (pohLc)

119 "People are talking about the thieves chopping up the jewels into smaller, more salable gems but that would destroy about 90% of the value of the jewels. What I imagine, based on years of study and watching the first four seasons of Leverage, is that the thieves intend to ransom the jewels back to the Louvre."

After reading that Eugenie's crown was damaged upon recovery, I assumed that meant that many of the jewels (how many freakin' diamonds can one crown hold anyway) were removed for easier transport and later individual sale. I could be wrong, and maybe the thieves just accidently dropped it and thought staying on time schedule was more important than retrieving it.

Posted by: tankdemon at October 22, 2025 12:32 PM (ltH/c)

120 The French are not *that* racist. After all, their flags are still white.

Posted by: ... at October 22, 2025 12:32 PM (lonsH)

121 Overlooked New Wave classic, lyrics excerpt:

Cezanne
by the Special Guests (1984)

"...I want to be a painter, I know I can!"
Now his oeuvre's in the Louvre, he's Paul Cezanne,
Cezanne
Cezanne, Cezanne, the father of Cubism."

Posted by: zombie at October 22, 2025 12:32 PM (oraVG)

122 > This account claims the jewels were protected by armored glass and would drop into below-the-floor safes if the glass were cut -- until 2019, when this actual security was replaced by... normal glass and no drop-thorugh-the-floor safes.

They spent money to make the system LESS SAFE? On purpose?

Someone needs to check the bank accounts of everyone involved. Unless the investigators are DEI hires. In which case, I hope they can manage not to get their feelings hurt.

Posted by: bonhomme at October 22, 2025 12:32 PM (Yp6az)

123 I don't think this reaches the Atomic Tranny Dogboy level of DEI. That shit was nuclear stupidity level DEI.

Literally.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at October 22, 2025 12:32 PM (Q4IgG)

124 Dude, I just learned that 'brave' in French means dummy. This explains a lot.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at October 22, 2025 12:32 PM (mlg/3)

125 howdy all. happy hump day, may be be the humper or humpee as you so desire...

as to the theft piece, i'm reminded of a time in 2005 i was working in a major s. korean city doing fiber optics. we had unmarked minivans and ornage vests ad hard hats. we blocked off traffic and pulled manhole covers and were messing around with cables in front of major govt and public buildings.

and cops never bothered us. we didn't even have a korean national with us to help if something happened.

based on that, i'm not entirely shocked that no one cared when 3 workers pulled a cherry picker up to the building...

Posted by: Sturmtoddler at October 22, 2025 12:32 PM (nXhwP)

126 And walking purposefully while carrying a clipboard.
Posted by: RedMindBlueState at October 22, 2025 12:31 PM

a white hardhat to complete the ensemble.

Posted by: toby928(c) at October 22, 2025 12:33 PM (jc0TO)

127 102 The secret is to act like you belong there and no one will question you. Confidence goes a long way apparently.
Posted by: CaliGirl at October 22, 2025 12:29 PM /i]

The clipboard effect.
Posted by: toby928(c) at October 22, 2025 12:30

And a high vis vest with a magnet logo for your truck and you can walk anywhere and no one will question you.

Posted by: CaliGirl at October 22, 2025 12:33 PM (hs4ik)

128 The secret is to act like you belong there and no one will question you. Confidence goes a long way apparently.
Posted by: CaliGirl

The clipboard effect.
Posted by: toby928(c)

For getting into an area. Moving the jewels SHOULD have had a pre-meeting where every step was went over and security would know who was and wasn't allowed around them. If you weren't in the pre meeting, you wouldn't be there on actual.

Posted by: rickb223 Acehole Extraordinaire coined by JSpicy at October 22, 2025 12:33 PM (Qd7dZ)

129 So far, too two Reddit comments I've seen (summarized):

Trump had the jewels stolen so he could crown himself emperor when he builds his Arc de Triumph in DC

(From r/newzealand) Sure, it's a bad DEI failure, but at least the Louvre is still up and operational, unlike our DEI Captain and HMNZS Manawanui.

Posted by: Intercepted Reddit Transmissions brought by the Intrepid AoS Liaison at October 22, 2025 12:33 PM (JCZqz)

130 "After threatening guards with their power tools"

I've got an angle grinder and am not afraid to use it...
Posted by: man

That right there is hilarious! Threatened. With cordless power tools... These fucking surrender monkeys just give up and fall back because someone brandishes a cordless screw shooter at them!
This is the single most pathetic thing in this story.

Posted by: Madamemayhem (uppity wench) at October 22, 2025 12:33 PM (2J/Lj)

131 Women don't quite understand the need to keep the family jewels protected.

Posted by: Chuck Martel at October 22, 2025 12:34 PM (mJ1wx)

132 Crown jewels, simply irreplaceable and definitely impossible to sell unless it's to Dr. Evil and Number 2 in their secret lair
Posted by: kallisto at October 22, 2025 12:27 PM (dCxaZ)

Prediction: there will be a ransom demanded for the return of the jewels, payable in bitcoin.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at October 22, 2025 12:34 PM (8zz6B)

133 They will return them for 1 Million Dollars.
Posted by: Boss Moss at October 22, 2025 12:29 PM

That isn't really a lot of money these days.

- Number Two

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at October 22, 2025 12:34 PM (ySpAZ)

134 And walking purposefully while carrying a clipboard."

The youngest's bit of parking his white truck anywhere and hopping out wearing a yellow vest. No one ever said a word...

Posted by: man at October 22, 2025 12:34 PM (tubbA)

135 The secret is to act like you belong there and no one will question you. Confidence goes a long way apparently.
Posted by: CaliGirl at October 22, 2025 12:29 PM

And walking purposefully while carrying a clipboard.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at October 22, 2025 12:31 PM (ySpAZ)

While wearing an appropriate hat. One that says authoritah. Because not just anybody can get an appropriate hat.

Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at October 22, 2025 12:34 PM (i24o9)

136 They could just cut the stones.

Posted by: Boss Moss at October 22, 2025 12:34 PM (sGHnN)

137 115 Uh oh. Someone's earnings report mist have sucked. Sudden nosedive in the market that I am on the wrong side of.
Posted by: toby928(c) at October 22, 2025 12:32 PM (jc0TO)
------------

thats quite a quick drop.

Posted by: WisRich at October 22, 2025 12:35 PM (G0vdT)

138 The thieves only needed to wait for the right time of month to break in.

Posted by: Roy at October 22, 2025 12:35 PM (BZF07)

139
Didn't do Buffin...

Posted by: Every Male on the Planet at October 22, 2025 12:35 PM (w9Wax)

140 First I steel your girl, then I steel your jewels!
Posted by: Henr� (from Cheers you idiot)

High five on the Cheers reference

Posted by: Josephistan at October 22, 2025 12:35 PM (y9ksN)

141 thats quite a quick drop.
Posted by: WisRich at October 22, 2025 12:35 PM

and even quicker recovery.

Posted by: toby928(c) at October 22, 2025 12:35 PM (jc0TO)

142 This account claims the jewels were protected by armored glass and would drop into below-the-floor safes if the glass were cut -- until 2019, when this actual security was replaced by... normal glass and no drop-thorugh-the-floor safes.

They spent money to make the system LESS SAFE? On purpose?

Someone needs to check the bank accounts of everyone involved. Unless the investigators are DEI hires. In which case, I hope they can manage not to get their feelings hurt.
Posted by: bonhomme

2019 to 2025? That's definitely playing the long game.

Posted by: rickb223 Acehole Extraordinaire coined by JSpicy at October 22, 2025 12:35 PM (Qd7dZ)

143

"They didn’t just steal the crown jewels.
They stole a piece of France’s soul."

Yeah yeah yeah. Get bent mademoiselle.

I thought Inspector Clouseau was satire, but I guess it was truthtful.

Oui oui.

Posted by: Dr.Rev. Senator Your Highness E Buzz Miller, Esq PhD MA MS at October 22, 2025 12:35 PM (et1vG)

144 After reading that Eugenie's crown was damaged upon recovery, I assumed that meant that many of the jewels (how many freakin' diamonds can one crown hold anyway) were removed for easier transport and later individual sale. I could be wrong, and maybe the thieves just accidently dropped it and thought staying on time schedule was more important than retrieving it.
Posted by: tankdemon at October 22, 2025 12:32 PM (ltH/c)

a report I saw says they dropped it in the street while they were getting away - imagine leaving eleventy million dollars laying in the street.

looking at the pictures of those two women up top, I wouldn't trust either one of them to make my souffle. The second one looks like one of the anarchists in The Big Lebowski, the first should have had a career making up hotel beds.

Posted by: Tom Servo at October 22, 2025 12:35 PM (uWKK8)

145 "After threatening guards with their power tools"

I've got an angle grinder and am not afraid to use it...
Posted by: man

That right there is hilarious! Threatened. With cordless power tools... These fucking surrender monkeys just give up and fall back because someone brandishes a cordless screw shooter at them!
This is the single most pathetic thing in this story.

Posted by: Madamemayhem (uppity wench) at October 22, 2025 12:33 PM (2J/Lj)

Look out! He's got a Dremel!

Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at October 22, 2025 12:35 PM (i24o9)

146 They could just cut the stones.
Posted by: Boss Moss

* autistic screeching in arabie *

Posted by: weft cut-loop at October 22, 2025 12:35 PM (mlg/3)

147 Back in black.

Posted by: toby928(c) at October 22, 2025 12:35 PM (jc0TO)

148 Those have to be the ugliest French women I have ever seen. Did they hire them from Dykes R Us?

Posted by: That Guy at October 22, 2025 12:35 PM (m6y9B)

149 The persons of interest are in a gang whose HQ is at the Potato Farm owned by Albert Potato. The suspects are named as: Chevalier, Montage, Detente, Avant-garde, Deja Vu, Croissant, Souffle, Escargot, and Chocolate Mousse.

Posted by: Citizen Cake at October 22, 2025 12:36 PM (CwhoI)

150 They won't try to ransom the jewels. That would be stupid.

Posted by: Xipe Totec at October 22, 2025 12:36 PM (pohLc)

151 Oh bullshit "there was nothing that could be done" in the 1980s the guards at the Lovre had MAS-38SMGs as their arms, the femynyzation of everything in the west in the 90s and the 2000s and the demand to import nutjobs en masse is why we are where we are.

Posted by: sven at October 22, 2025 12:36 PM (MUJd1)

152 > The British crown jewels are surrounded by armed security, in a space that's purposefully dark to obscure the security measures, and is inside the grounds of the Tower of London -- there's only one gate to enter the grounds.

When I visited, they wouldn't even let you stop to take a look. You had to walk as you were looking.

Posted by: bonhomme at October 22, 2025 12:36 PM (Yp6az)

153
That right there is hilarious! Threatened. With cordless power tools... These fucking surrender monkeys just give up and fall back because someone brandishes a cordless screw shooter at them!
This is the single most pathetic thing in this story.
Posted by: Madamemayhem (uppity wench) at October 22, 2025 12:33 PM (2J/Lj)

I would have shot the thieves but I guess the French don't think in American.

Posted by: CaliGirl at October 22, 2025 12:36 PM (hs4ik)

154 They're trying to act like these were high-speed incredibly planned robbers.

They literally just ran a freaking lift up, broke a window, smashed the display cases, and ran. And there wasn't a SINGLE GUARD in one of the biggest rooms with the most valuable items in it to stop them.

This isn't even incompetence. The guards HAD to have been in on it.

Posted by: DudeAbiding at October 22, 2025 12:36 PM (setIA)

155 I am the case!

Posted by: Inspector Clouseau at October 22, 2025 12:37 PM (YoT4f)

156 If nothing could be done then why is security there? 🤔

Posted by: ... at October 22, 2025 12:37 PM (lonsH)

157 148 Those have to be the ugliest French women I have ever seen. Did they hire them from Dykes R Us?
Posted by: That Guy at October 22, 2025 12:35 PM (m6y9B)

They went to Britain for their makeovers.

Posted by: Roy at October 22, 2025 12:37 PM (BZF07)

158 I represent Mademoiselle Buffin.

Posted by: Jeffrey Toobin esq. at October 22, 2025 12:37 PM (wGerL)

159 >> "The Louvre's security director would have been chosen not based on her abilities, but because she is a woman. It is this destruction by wokeism that we find notably in the United States."

1. Has he looked at who is running the EU lately? Don't blame the US for this shit.

2. The destruction has not been done by the incompetent women, the destruction was done by whoever put these incompetent women into power. Who was that? (I assume mostly men, but which men. Why?)

Posted by: bob (moron incognitus) at October 22, 2025 12:37 PM (BLqOI)

160 I've got an angle grinder and am not afraid to use it...

You laugh but it's probably the second most threatening power tool after a 2 1/2 HP router with a raised panel bit.

Posted by: Oddbob at October 22, 2025 12:37 PM (3nLb4)

161 I am the case!
Posted by: Inspector Clouseau

Does your dog bite?

Posted by: weft cut-loop at October 22, 2025 12:38 PM (mlg/3)

162 [O/T -- Two WILLOWED belated laughs from The Art Thread:]

An above-ground gulag.
Posted by: ShainS

Sounds like my honeymoon...
Posted by: ...

------------

Imma looking forward to the Biden Presidential Library.
Posted by: Pudinhead

It'll be the basement of the Obama Presidential Monstrosity.
Posted by: ShainS

In the men's restroom handicapped stall.
Posted by: Joe Mama

Posted by: ShainS -- Bury My Heart At a Texas MoMe at October 22, 2025 12:38 PM (4vd8A)

163 The French government is currently trying to destroy French culture. So this makes sense.

Posted by: That Guy at October 22, 2025 12:38 PM (m6y9B)

164 Chevalier, Montage, Detente, Avant-garde, Deja Vu, Croissant, Souffle, Escargot, and Chocolate Mousse."

Have we met before?

Posted by: man at October 22, 2025 12:38 PM (tubbA)

165 149 The persons of interest are in a gang whose HQ is at the Potato Farm owned by Albert Potato. The suspects are named as: Chevalier, Montage, Detente, Avant-garde, Deja Vu, Croissant, Souffle, Escargot, and Chocolate Mousse.
Posted by: Citizen Cake at October 22, 2025 12:36 PM (CwhoI)

That's my favorite scene in that movie...

Posted by: I am the Shadout Mapes, the Housekeeper at October 22, 2025 12:38 PM (PiwSw)

166 My money is on Eastern Europeans.

Posted by: mr tmz at October 22, 2025 12:38 PM (rJ48h)

167 105 The British crown jewels are surrounded by armed security, in a space that's purposefully dark to obscure the security measures, and is inside the grounds of the Tower of London -- there's only one gate to enter the grounds.

In Rome we saw a coin collection that dated back to the Roman Republic and up to last century -- and entry there was through a two-foot-thick vault door.

These clowns WANTED this theft to happen.
Posted by: Rob Crawford at October 22, 2025 12:30 PM (1OiAC) Globo Homo hates the west, they are thrilled when our history is destroyed.

Posted by: sven at October 22, 2025 12:38 PM (MUJd1)

168 Soviet Orcs.

Posted by: Boss Moss at October 22, 2025 12:38 PM (sGHnN)

169 @BigSteve207
·
2h
NEW: Ex-Marine Graham Platner Taught Military Tactics, Recruited for Socialist Paramilitary Group in Maine

Reddit posts reveal embattled progressive star recruited and provided firearms training for the Maine Socialist Rifle Association...

-------

Okay...so this is the guy with the Totenkopf tattoo running for the Dem nomination for Senate in Maine.

He still has the tattoo, by the way.

So, while he's in the wilds, training Socialist radicals how to shoot, he's got this Nazi tattoo, and no one gives a shit. He doesn't give a shit. It's just a thing.

Tell me again how radical socialists hate Nazism.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, seeing dreamlike horrors with Mario Bava at October 22, 2025 12:38 PM (GBKbO)

170 Posted by: Citizen Cake at October 22, 2025 12:36 PM

Have we met before?

- Deja Vu

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at October 22, 2025 12:39 PM (ySpAZ)

171 That right there is hilarious! Threatened. With cordless power tools... These fucking surrender monkeys just give up and fall back because someone brandishes a cordless screw shooter at them!
This is the single most pathetic thing in this story.
Posted by: Madamemayhem (uppity wench) at October 22, 2025 12:33 PM (2J/Lj)

I would have shot the thieves but I guess the French don't think in American.
Posted by: CaliGirl

They had cordless power tools. Pfffffffft.
I have a cordless hole punch.

Posted by: rickb223 Acehole Extraordinaire coined by JSpicy at October 22, 2025 12:39 PM (Qd7dZ)

172 @131/Chuck Martel: "Women don't quite understand the need to keep the family jewels protected."

Threadwinner.

Posted by: Grumpy and Recalcitrant at October 22, 2025 12:39 PM (O7YUW)

173 Can anyone account for the whereabouts of Danny, Rusty, Saul, Linus, Basher, and the rest of the gang on the day in question?

Posted by: Grapefruit LaCroix at October 22, 2025 12:39 PM (Cw7cn)

174 Does your dog bite?
Posted by: weft cut-loop at October 22, 2025 12:38 PM (mlg/3)

Non!

Posted by: Inspector Clouseau at October 22, 2025 12:39 PM (YoT4f)

175 Next they will burn down Notre Dame.

Posted by: Boss Moss at October 22, 2025 12:39 PM (sGHnN)

176
"Frances Crown Jewels"

I bet the jewels have hairy armpits.

Also these jewels were from Napoleon III, which nobody liked. So who cares.

Posted by: Frank Barone at October 22, 2025 12:39 PM (IifOV)

177 This isn't even incompetence. The guards HAD to have been in on it.
Posted by: DudeAbiding at October 22, 2025 12:36 PM (setIA)

Never attribute to conspiracy what can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Posted by: Xipe Totec at October 22, 2025 12:39 PM (pohLc)

178 Very clever use of AI in the security measures video. I wish AI could be kept to that and not other nefarious things.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at October 22, 2025 12:40 PM (7RYym)

179 Okay...so this is the guy with the Totenkopf tattoo running for the Dem nomination for Senate in Maine.

He still has the tattoo, by the way.
---------

The parties switched.

Wait

Posted by: ... at October 22, 2025 12:40 PM (lonsH)

180 oh for heists I just remembered something I think from bowfinger - bring along a camera and convince the guards that they're just part of a movie.

Posted by: Tom Servo at October 22, 2025 12:40 PM (uWKK8)

181 By the way, the security around government buildings in Paris is impressive, and much different than that around the Louvre.

It's usually groups of two big burly men, and one hot chick as window dressing. All are armed, and depending on where they are stationed, they have automatic weapons.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo [Flying the American Flag!] at October 22, 2025 12:40 PM (n9ltV)

182
French Rifles: Never fired. Dropped once.

Posted by: Frank Barone at October 22, 2025 12:40 PM (IifOV)

183 When I visited, they wouldn't even let you stop to take a look. You had to walk as you were looking.

Outside that building I overheard two guards talking about a stroller that had been parked in one place longer than usual. I was impressed that they were paying attention to that level of detail.

Then, on the way back to my room I saw that the Queen was visiting Ireland and someone had made a call to one of the secret phone numbers...

Posted by: Rob Crawford at October 22, 2025 12:40 PM (1OiAC)

184 There was a great article that was linked on Instapundit a few days ago, written by a woman, Helen Andrews, bemoaning the feminization of everything. Definitely worth a read.

Posted by: Bulg at October 22, 2025 12:40 PM (77rzZ)

185 141 thats quite a quick drop.
Posted by: WisRich at October 22, 2025 12:35 PM

and even quicker recovery.
Posted by: toby928(c) at October 22, 2025 12:35 PM (jc0TO)
-------

Algo's gone wild.

Posted by: WisRich at October 22, 2025 12:41 PM (G0vdT)

186 I've got an angle grinder and am not afraid to use it...

You laugh but it's probably the second most threatening power tool after a 2 1/2 HP router with a raised panel bit.

Posted by: Oddbob at October 22, 2025 12:37 PM (3nLb4)

When a radial arm saw is too heavy to carry.

Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at October 22, 2025 12:41 PM (i24o9)

187 That's my favorite scene in that movie..."
Right after the girl in the sand...

Posted by: man at October 22, 2025 12:41 PM (tubbA)

188 Sieben minutes.

Posted by: Boss Moss at October 22, 2025 12:41 PM (sGHnN)

189 181 By the way, the security around government buildings in Paris is impressive, and much different than that around the Louvre.

It's usually groups of two big burly men, and one hot chick as window dressing. All are armed, and depending on where they are stationed, they have automatic weapons.
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo...know-nothing progressive at October 22, 2025 12:40 PM (n9ltV)

Well, you know what they think is important.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at October 22, 2025 12:41 PM (bss/y)

190 177 This isn't even incompetence. The guards HAD to have been in on it.
Posted by: DudeAbiding at October 22, 2025 12:36 PM (setIA)

Never attribute to conspiracy what can be adequately explained by stupidity.
Posted by: Xipe Totec at October 22, 2025 12:39 PM (pohLc)

The Guards were told "Stay here and Guard the Jewels."

The Guards said "okay, so we Stay Here, and we let anyone who wants handle the Jewels."

Posted by: Tom Servo at October 22, 2025 12:42 PM (uWKK8)

191 When a radial arm saw is too heavy to carry.
Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at October 22, 2025 12:41 PM (i24o9)

*sobs*

Posted by: Michelle Fields at October 22, 2025 12:42 PM (lonsH)

192 Give me a dozen men like Clouseau and I can destroy the world.

Posted by: Chief Inspector Dreyfus at October 22, 2025 12:42 PM (y9ksN)

193 They literally just ran a freaking lift up, broke a window, smashed the display cases, and ran. And there wasn't a SINGLE GUARD in one of the biggest rooms with the most valuable items in it to stop them.

This isn't even incompetence. The guards HAD to have been in on it.
Posted by: DudeAbiding at October 22, 2025 12:36 PM (setIA)

What's the first thought that crosses your mind when you see a manlift at the window of a large building downtown? Contractors? Window washers? Whatever. "Thieves" is waaay down the list.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at October 22, 2025 12:43 PM (8zz6B)

194 The museum got nailed right in the Buffin

Posted by: Buffin worth Nuffin at October 22, 2025 12:43 PM (FxINA)

195 bemoaning the feminization of everything. Definitely worth a read.
Posted by: Bulg at October 22, 2025 12:40 PM (77rzZ)

Everything except females, apparently.

Posted by: ... at October 22, 2025 12:43 PM (lonsH)

196 They have 2 ladder trucks.

Surrender.

Get on your back. Spread those legs.
Now, be still.

Posted by: dreamingrobot at October 22, 2025 12:43 PM (EyfuW)

197 195 bemoaning the feminization of everything. Definitely worth a read.
Posted by: Bulg at October 22, 2025 12:40 PM (77rzZ)

Everything except females, apparently.
Posted by: ... at October 22, 2025 12:43 PM (lonsH)

========

The best women are men.

And the best men are women.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, seeing dreamlike horrors with Mario Bava at October 22, 2025 12:43 PM (GBKbO)

198 > An 8 is really beautiful and quite rare, the same way a person with an actual IQ of 145 is really smart and you are unlikely to meet one today.

I personally believe in the situational scale. An 8 that you see walking around in public is not as hot as an 8 on TV. That TV 8 isn't going to be as hot as a bikini model 8.

I think the disconnect is when people believe in a rigid scale talk with people who have a situational scale. A rigid scale 8 is going to be way hotter than a situational scale 8.

On top of all that, it goes without saying that people have their own tastes.

Posted by: bonhomme at October 22, 2025 12:43 PM (Yp6az)

199 141 thats quite a quick drop.
Posted by: WisRich at October 22, 2025 12:35 PM

and even quicker recovery.
Posted by: toby928(c) at October 22, 2025 12:35 PM (jc0TO)
-------

Algo's gone wild.
Posted by: WisRich at October 22, 2025 12:41 PM

I had a way out of the money buy set up that just missed getting triggered in the whipsaw.

FML.

Posted by: toby928(c) at October 22, 2025 12:44 PM (jc0TO)

200 I'm shocked they had no insurance on these jewels.
Posted by: JackStraw at October 22, 2025 12:17 PM (viF8m)

No doubt the director of security got a nice new penthouse suite in the most fashionable area in Paris with the money she saved on not paying for insurance.

Posted by: Beartooth at October 22, 2025 12:44 PM (kanec)

201 Napoleon III, which nobody liked."

Napoleon XIV, however...

Posted by: man at October 22, 2025 12:44 PM (tubbA)

202 Reminds me of that TV show Mission Impossible.

Posted by: Case at October 22, 2025 12:44 PM (9HFDU)

203 Le Wokeisme

Oh, woke is me!

Posted by: Cheerful Reprobate at October 22, 2025 12:44 PM (lWPQK)

204 High five on the Cheers reference
Posted by: Josephistan

Thanks.
- the accent over the "i" did not print
- my French accent just looks like misspellings
- my Henri attitude looks rude.

Not one of my best jokes. That I am explaining it makes it worse.

Posted by: bob (moron incognitus) at October 22, 2025 12:45 PM (BLqOI)

205 I've mentioned before that I had a long run of, uh ... armed goonery both public and private before my current career in big tech. I have actually worked security in a real art museum, among a couple dozen other really odd types of facility.

Go to some rinkydink regional museum in basically any US city of 50k population and you will see SIGNIFICANTLY more security than this DEI-bint bullshit. Not more than the original setup the dipshits stripped out - display items that drop into secured containers is some really cool shit - but some serious stuff.

Not to mention when you have this much stuff, and this much staff, it's unthinkable not to have uniformed and plainclothes staff within sight of basically everything. Even high end retail does that.

In the long run it's sort of meaningless, I mean, who are they preserving these artworks for? Most of western europe will be gone as we know it in a generation, overrun by hordes of middle easterners and africans these same types of stupid cunts imported by the millions. No euro culture has a future unless they secure it on a mountain of skulls at this point.

Posted by: heya at October 22, 2025 12:45 PM (9etX0)

206 looking at the pictures of those two women up top, I wouldn't trust either one of them to make my souffle. The second one looks like one of the anarchists in The Big Lebowski, the first should have had a career making up hotel beds.
Posted by: Tom Servo at October 22, 2025 12:35 PM (uWKK

They're fuckin' nihilists, man!

Posted by: The Dude at October 22, 2025 12:45 PM (TbWk/)

207 They democratized the jewels right out the side window.

Posted by: One for All and All for None at October 22, 2025 12:45 PM (FxINA)

208 The Guards were told "Stay here and Guard the Jewels."

The Guards said "okay, so we Stay Here, and we let anyone who wants handle the Jewels."
Posted by: Tom Servo at October 22, 2025 12:42 PM (uWKK8

No, you stay here and guard the jewels.

Right, we go over there and you guard the jewels.

Posted by: Josephistan at October 22, 2025 12:45 PM (y9ksN)

209 Look while you walk.

Reminded me of a stripper in Taipei.

Posted by: dreamingrobot at October 22, 2025 12:45 PM (EyfuW)

210 They obviously cased the joint. Review the security tapes.

Head of Security: "we don't keep security tapes, that's elitist."

Posted by: WisRich at October 22, 2025 12:46 PM (G0vdT)

211 Hard to fence.

Posted by: Boss Moss at October 22, 2025 12:46 PM (sGHnN)

212 I actually liked the Thomas Crown Affair remake better.

Posted by: the way I see it at October 22, 2025 12:46 PM (EYmYM)

213 The best women are men.

And the best men are women.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, seeing dreamlike horrors with Mario Bava at October 22, 2025 12:43 PM (GBKbO)

I think those 2 principles are the foundation of the Thai Ladyboy industry.

Posted by: Tom Servo at October 22, 2025 12:46 PM (uWKK8)

214 French Rifles: Never fired. Dropped once.
Posted by: Frank Barone

We have a winner!

Posted by: Algonquin Club at October 22, 2025 12:46 PM (w9Wax)

215 Most of western europe will be gone as we know it in a generation, overrun by hordes of middle easterners and africans these same types of stupid cunts imported by the millions"

Camp of the Saints...

Posted by: man at October 22, 2025 12:46 PM (tubbA)

216 The administratiors of the Louvre got exactly what they wanted. Democratisation of art.

Posted by: Thomas Paine at October 22, 2025 12:47 PM (8pW8Z)

217 ATMs must have better security.

Posted by: Boss Moss at October 22, 2025 12:47 PM (sGHnN)

218 On X, EU parliament member Marion Maréchal, niece of far-right French leader Marine Le Pen, said Buffin's hire was "part of a feminization policy" in France and demanded her resignation.

-------------

Next you'll be telling me that there's also a "an emasculation policy" in France as well.

Wait, wut?

Posted by: ShainS -- Bury My Heart At a Texas MoMe at October 22, 2025 12:47 PM (0RTcs)

219 No Bowler hats?

Posted by: Boss Moss at October 22, 2025 12:47 PM (sGHnN)

220 > The guards HAD to have been in on it.

Dude. Louvre employees are government employees. They're FRENCH government employees. Their competence ceiling is below the competence floor of retarded chimpanzees.

Posted by: bonhomme at October 22, 2025 12:47 PM (Yp6az)

221 213 I actually liked the Thomas Crown Affair remake better.
Posted by: the way I see it at October 22, 2025 12:46 PM (EYmYM)

The original still has the Best Chess Game Ever.

Posted by: Tom Servo at October 22, 2025 12:47 PM (uWKK8)

222 202 Napoleon III, which nobody liked."

Napoleon XIV, however...
Posted by: man at October 22, 2025 12:44 PM (tubbA)

They're coming to take me away, ha ha!

Posted by: To the funny farm where life is beautiful all the time at October 22, 2025 12:47 PM (TbWk/)

223 My 8 may not be someone else’s 8 and vice versa.

Posted by: the way I see it at October 22, 2025 12:47 PM (EYmYM)

224 "I suspect everyone, and I suspect no one."

One of my favorite Clouseau lines, but I recently saw a very old movie (like 30s I think) and they had that line before him. Now I can't remember what movie it was.

Posted by: bob (moron incognitus) at October 22, 2025 12:47 PM (BLqOI)

225 "France's Crown Jewels" Stolen

They never thought Trump would win.

Posted by: t-bird at October 22, 2025 12:48 PM (upeQk)

226 They're fuckin' nihilists, man!
Posted by: The Dude at October 22, 2025 12:45 PM (TbWk/)

IIRC, one of the nihilists was played by Aimee Mann.

Posted by: I am the Shadout Mapes, the Housekeeper at October 22, 2025 12:48 PM (PiwSw)

227 Am I the 8,00000 person to reference Inspector Clouseau?

Posted by: Piper at October 22, 2025 12:48 PM (Wmg4n)

228 In the long run it's sort of meaningless, I mean, who are they preserving these artworks for? Most of western europe will be gone as we know it in a generation, overrun by hordes of middle easterners and africans these same types of stupid cunts imported by the millions. No euro culture has a future unless they secure it on a mountain of skulls at this point.
Posted by: heya at October 22, 2025 12:45 PM (9etX0)

No voating our way out.... Important point to remember.

Posted by: Ganowicz Commie Exterminators, Ltd. at October 22, 2025 12:48 PM (YoT4f)

229 Comment last night said that before renovations the jewels were enclosed in heavy duty (bullet proof?) glass, sitting on a trap door that would immediately open if the glass was disturbed and drop the jewels into a secured self locking vault.

Yeah, covering them with a fish aquarium - real engineers of genius.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at October 22, 2025 12:48 PM (XwyaG)

230 Widely available and cheap AI security cameras would have alerted security immediately. Hell, every grocery store uses them at self-checkout. You can buy them for your house for $100.

But the Louvre doesn’t have them. Pathetic.

Posted by: Novanglus at October 22, 2025 12:49 PM (VFJAx)

231 My 8 may not be someone else’s 8 and vice versa."

My god, it's symmetrical! Noah!

/ mind blown

Posted by: man at October 22, 2025 12:49 PM (tubbA)

232 "...rather than what she's got between her legs."

@Ace, how dare you make assumptions about what she has between her legs!

Posted by: ZH Cohen at October 22, 2025 12:49 PM (toq7V)

233
>>Dominique Buffin, the first woman hired as security chief at the Louvre

===============

Or, as some moron called her yesterday, "Dindoo Buffin."

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at October 22, 2025 12:49 PM (ldc7S)

234 Am I the 8,00000 person to reference Inspector Clouseau?
Posted by: Piper at October 22, 2025 12:48 PM (Wmg4n)

Does your dog beet?

Posted by: the way I see it at October 22, 2025 12:50 PM (EYmYM)

235 131/Chuck Martel: "Women don't quite understand the need to keep the family jewels protected."

If we're talking priceless jewelry? Dude! Women will cut a bitch for even looking at those the wrong way. Anyone tries to steal my grandma's wedding ring set is gonna get instant extreme prejudice. And those, while worth a lot of Benjamins, are not priceless.

Posted by: Madamemayhem (uppity wench) at October 22, 2025 12:50 PM (2J/Lj)

236 "Oui oui."

Down the hall, on the right.

Posted by: CTHillary, dead but dreaming at October 22, 2025 12:50 PM (v/YwY)

237 Am I the 8,00000 person to reference Inspector Clouseau?"

Oui.

(And not oui, the magazine. So there)

Posted by: man at October 22, 2025 12:50 PM (tubbA)

238 This is actually funny as hell.

Posted by: Xipe Totec at October 22, 2025 12:50 PM (pohLc)

239 The theft unfolded just 250 meters (270 yards) from the Mona Lisa

I had no idea everything was now measured on distance from the Mona Lisa. I guess that's like the "x miles from America" chyrons in Team America.

Posted by: Ian S. at October 22, 2025 12:51 PM (2ocoG)

240 Bonjour.

Posted by: Boss Moss at October 22, 2025 12:51 PM (sGHnN)

241 Well, in fairness, she did reduce the elitism of the Louvre; all the good stuff will be stolen and replaced by..well, placards maybe. Or maybe some Hunter Biden fecal art masterpieces.

Posted by: Nelly at October 22, 2025 12:51 PM (NuU9P)

242 "I suspect everyone, and I suspect no one."

One of my favorite Clouseau lines,
-------

That scene in one of the PP movies where he hops on the parallel bars is one of the single funniest things I recall ever watching. The scene continues (downstairs, naturally) with him interviewing the staff and its as off the wall as the parallel bars opener to it.

Posted by: Crusader at October 22, 2025 12:51 PM (TN0g+)

243 "215 Most of western europe will be gone as we know it in a generation, overrun by hordes of middle easterners and africans these same types of stupid cunts imported by the millions"

Camp of the Saints...
Posted by: man at October 22, 2025 12:46 PM (tubbA)"

It's worse than most know already. Like one might find flash mobs in places like Baltimore, the "refugees" get together in groups of 1000-2000 and overrun places.. except now they're starting to do it to small French bumblefuck towns. Probably one of the main sources of rumbling about civil war in France, often overshadowed by similar rumblings from the UK.

And they're legit barbarians. There is video floating around from somewhere in France of these people simultaneously cooking, eating, and raping a lady.

Posted by: heya at October 22, 2025 12:51 PM (9etX0)

244 11 Harrowhouse is an underrated heist movie.

Charles Grodin and Canance Bergen.

Posted by: the way I see it at October 22, 2025 12:51 PM (EYmYM)

245 Here's the "does your dog bite" bit for those who haven't seen it.

youtube.com/shorts/lLR-V2S0DC8

Posted by: bonhomme at October 22, 2025 12:51 PM (Yp6az)

246 Maybe it will turn out that the thieves are actually members of a team of security experts whose bid for providing security services was rejected by the Louvre as too expensive. They will now return the jewels in exchange for approval of their security contract.

Posted by: Frasier Crane at October 22, 2025 12:51 PM (bNf8H)

247 239 The theft unfolded just 250 meters (270 yards) from the Mona Lisa

I had no idea everything was now measured on distance from the Mona Lisa. I guess that's like the "x miles from America" chyrons in Team America.
Posted by: Ian S. at October 22, 2025 12:51 PM (2ocoG)

======

And it's not...close.

Nearly three football fields in a palace turned museum. How many rooms away? Like...a dozen?

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, seeing dreamlike horrors with Mario Bava at October 22, 2025 12:51 PM (GBKbO)

248 Emmanuel Macron
@EmmanuelMacron
Translated from French
The theft committed at the Louvre is an attack on a heritage that we cherish because it is our History.

We will recover the works, and the perpetrators will be brought to justice. Everything is being done, everywhere, to achieve this, under the leadership of the Paris prosecutor's office.

The Louvre New Renaissance project, which we launched in January, provides for strengthened security. It will be the guarantor of the preservation and protection of what constitutes our memory and our culture.

Macron is getting roasted in the comments.
He is an embarrassment to France.
Notre Dame burned under his watch.

Posted by: redridinghood at October 22, 2025 12:52 PM (NpAcC)

249 You have really shitty security and crooks with no fear of reprisals, if this kind of smash and grab can work.

Why does The Bellagio in Las Vegas have better security than the Louvue?

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at October 22, 2025 12:52 PM (xcxpd)

250 Here's the "does your dog bite" bit for those who haven't seen it.

youtube.com/shorts/lLR-V2S0DC8
Posted by: bonhomme at October 22, 2025 12:51 PM

Posted by: toby928(c) at October 22, 2025 12:52 PM (jc0TO)

251 DAMMIT

NO SPOILERS!

Posted by: toby928(c) at October 22, 2025 12:52 PM (jc0TO)

252 "Ok, is this a Rothko or did they just not finish painting the wall?"

Posted by: I am the Shadout Mapes, the Housekeeper at October 22, 2025 12:52 PM (PiwSw)

253 What's the first thought that crosses your mind when you see a manlift at the window of a large building downtown? Contractors? Window washers? Whatever. "Thieves" is waaay down the list.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon

----------
True, but (a) shouldn't there be a guard who sees this shit role up somehow? One CCTV at least. (b) No one legitimately uses a man lift at that angle (at least not on state property in public.)

Posted by: bob (moron incognitus) at October 22, 2025 12:53 PM (BLqOI)

254
>>What I imagine, based on years of study and watching the first four seasons of Leverage, is that the thieves intend to ransom the jewels back to the Louvre.

=================

If France doesn't have any woke lesbians for the negotiating tasks, we could send them Randi Weingarten. Face it, she'd be a holy terror on the thieves, and we could send her on the condition that France keep her.

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at October 22, 2025 12:53 PM (ldc7S)

255 Easy to tell. If she doesn't get fired, she's a diversity hire.

In a culture of meritocracy, failure leads to dismissal immediately.

We all know this won't happen

Posted by: Kevin Canuck at October 22, 2025 12:53 PM (/xmMU)

256 A ladder probably would have worked. Road guard vests. Is that the punch you carry in your Oldsmobile if you are a Kenneddy?

Posted by: Boss Moss at October 22, 2025 12:53 PM (sGHnN)

257 Am I the 8,00000 person to reference Inspector Clouseau?
Posted by: Piper at October 22, 2025 12:48 PM (

Should have gone with Chief Inspector Dreyfus for the win. Cato would have gotten you the bronze.

Posted by: Beartooth at October 22, 2025 12:53 PM (kanec)

258 They did have insurance, right? RIGHT?!?!?!

Posted by: Case at October 22, 2025 12:53 PM (9HFDU)

259 IIRC, one of the nihilists was played by Aimee Mann.
Posted by: I am the Shadout Mapes, the Housekeeper at October 22, 2025 12:48 PM (PiwSw)

Cut off her pinky toe for the role. Hardcore method acting.

Posted by: No not really at October 22, 2025 12:53 PM (TbWk/)

260 251 DAMMIT

NO SPOILERS!
Posted by: toby928(c) at October 22, 2025 12:52 PM (jc0TO)
======

Should we tell him that Spock is Harry Potter's father?

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, seeing dreamlike horrors with Mario Bava at October 22, 2025 12:53 PM (GBKbO)

261 249 You have really shitty security and crooks with no fear of reprisals, if this kind of smash and grab can work.

Why does The Bellagio in Las Vegas have better security than the Louvue?
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at October 22, 2025 12:52 PM (xcxpd)

why does My Ass have better security than the Louvre?

Posted by: Tom Servo at October 22, 2025 12:54 PM (uWKK8)

262 Bonjour"

Je ne parle pas...

Posted by: man at October 22, 2025 12:54 PM (tubbA)

263 201 Napoleon III, which nobody liked."

Napoleon XIV, however...
Posted by: man

All Morons love a good Napoleon brandy, right?

Posted by: Moron Analyst at October 22, 2025 12:54 PM (JCZqz)

264 There is video floating around from somewhere in France of these people simultaneously cooking, eating, and raping a lady.
Posted by: heya

Which part of her were they cooking and eating?

Posted by: Thomas Paine at October 22, 2025 12:54 PM (8pW8Z)

265 226 They're fuckin' nihilists, man!
Posted by: The Dude at October 22, 2025 12:45 PM (TbWk/)

IIRC, one of the nihilists was played by Aimee Mann.
Posted by: I am the Shadout Mapes, the Housekeeper at October 22, 2025 12:48 PM (PiwSw)

Would

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at October 22, 2025 12:54 PM (xcxpd)

266 254
>>What I imagine, based on years of study and watching the first four seasons of Leverage, is that the thieves intend to ransom the jewels back to the Louvre.

=================

If France doesn't have any woke lesbians for the negotiating tasks, we could send them Randi Weingarten. Face it, she'd be a holy terror on the thieves, and we could send her on the condition that France keep her.
Posted by: Blonde Morticia at October 22, 2025 12:53 PM (ldc7S)

======

"Our first round of negotiations were tough, but we've come to a partial resolution."

"What is it?"

"We will pay the robbers $100 million, and they will pick up the phone next time we call."

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, seeing dreamlike horrors with Mario Bava at October 22, 2025 12:54 PM (GBKbO)

267
Maybe it will turn out that the thieves are actually members of a team of security experts whose bid for providing security services was rejected by the Louvre as too expensive.

Posted by: Frasier Crane

===============

Maybe their services were rejected as too masculine.

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at October 22, 2025 12:54 PM (ldc7S)

268 Look at all the woke DEI leftists entrusted by the Biden administration to run the military for national defense.

Posted by: JM in Illinois at October 22, 2025 12:54 PM (RTEcs)

269 Which part of her were they cooking and eating?
Posted by: Thomas Paine at October 22, 2025 12:54 PM

Her penis.

Posted by: toby928(c) at October 22, 2025 12:55 PM (jc0TO)

270 Citizen Cake

Kudos for the Top Secret reference.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at October 22, 2025 12:55 PM (u82oZ)

271 So, a lot of jewelry was stolen. Ummm...okay. Am I supposed to be outraged or what because I find that I just don't care and can't think of a single reason why I should.

Posted by: Somewhere South of I-80 at October 22, 2025 12:55 PM (89Sog)

272 A 10 is easily identifiable by her elbows.

Posted by: ... at October 22, 2025 12:55 PM (lonsH)

273 European museums are a lesson in hypocrisy. My favorite is the British Museum which displays a large number of items stolen during invasions into Africa among many other places. They admit this. They announce this on the plaques in front of display cases. Some of the relics in that museum are sacred religious items of no value to the Brits but sacred to people in places like Angola. Many of these countries request that items be returned. At the same time, the UK bends over backwards to show favoritism at their own expense to the wave of immigrants (including places like Angola).

Oh, and yeah, the British Museum includes art items stolen from Jews during the Holocaust. I don't know details about the contents of the Louvre. But, it's probably a good bet that they aren't much different.

Posted by: Orson at October 22, 2025 12:55 PM (dIske)

274 Thief is another good jewel heist movie.

James Caan

Posted by: the way I see it at October 22, 2025 12:55 PM (EYmYM)

275 Conservatives have jumped on this sentence to suggest Buffin is unqualified for the job and only got it because she is female.

---------------

Noticed > Seized > Pounced > Jumped

Unless you're Van Halen, just sayin' ...

Posted by: ShainS -- Bury My Heart At a Texas MoMe at October 22, 2025 12:55 PM (iBAge)

276 > Should have gone with Chief Inspector Dreyfus for the win. Cato would have gotten you the bronze.

Every day, in every way, I am getting better and better.

Posted by: bonhomme at October 22, 2025 12:55 PM (Yp6az)

277 Do you have a lice sance for this minkey??

A what??

A lice sance!

Oh, you mean a license.

Yes, a license!!

Posted by: dantesed at October 22, 2025 12:55 PM (Oy/m2)

278 271 So, a lot of jewelry was stolen. Ummm...okay. Am I supposed to be outraged or what because I find that I just don't care and can't think of a single reason why I should.
Posted by: Somewhere South of I-80 at October 22, 2025 12:55 PM (89Sog)

=====

Pretty obvious the point is to laugh at the woke Frenchies ruining their own institutions.

Where did you get the impression that you should be mad at this?

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, seeing dreamlike horrors with Mario Bava at October 22, 2025 12:56 PM (GBKbO)

279 "Why does The Bellagio in Las Vegas have better security than the Louvue?
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at October 22, 2025 12:52 PM (xcxpd)"

Because they rake in an asston of money. Just about anyone with an asston of money has legit security. I have worked for generic offices full of phone jockeys that had guys on site, on call, with rifles and body armor.... because they made an asston of money, and had an asston of money, and could do what they wanted. Mostly we dealt with weird domestic shit (angry spouses showing up to the office), securing the parking area, and handling irate people who'd been fired.

Posted by: heya at October 22, 2025 12:56 PM (Qa1H2)

280 I need to rewatch "A Shot in the Dark". One of my top 10 comedies

Posted by: Josephistan at October 22, 2025 12:56 PM (y9ksN)

281 They're trying to act like these were high-speed incredibly planned robbers. They literally just ran a freaking lift up, broke a window, smashed the display cases, and ran.

Yes. When I first heard how it was done, my first reaction was “Wow. Sounds more like a brute-force smash-and-grab than a minutely-planned heist.”

I mean… the thieves literally dropped some of the loot on the way out? This is not a Pierce Bronson/Steve McQueen-level heist.

Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at October 22, 2025 12:56 PM (EXyHK)

282 DAMMIT

NO SPOILERS!
Posted by: toby928(c) at October 22, 2025 12:52 PM (jc0TO)
======

Should we tell him that Spock is Harry Potter's father?
------

That kind of wit is what draws us in, brings us closer and keeps the joint popping.

Posted by: Crusader at October 22, 2025 12:56 PM (TN0g+)

283 “They stole a piece of France’s soul.”

Wrong, France’s soul was smothered with a pillow in their sleep by demonic globalists. That is why such treasures were able to be stolen by a basic smash n’ grab.

Posted by: Cray Cray at October 22, 2025 12:56 PM (78mYQ)

284 The French have Oeuf on their faces....

Posted by: It's me donna at October 22, 2025 12:56 PM (VE6XX)

285 I'm shocked they had no insurance on these jewels

Why? What would be the acceptable insured amount on the original Declaration of Independence? Or any other item that has value beyond its gold and jewels?

You spend the "insurance money" to protect it from damage or theft.

Posted by: Chuck C at October 22, 2025 12:57 PM (0GLZr)

286
"Our first round of negotiations were tough, but we've come to a partial resolution."

"What is it?"

"We will pay the robbers $100 million, and they will pick up the phone next time we call."
Posted by: TheJamesMadison

===============

"We will give back the jewels plus $100 million, and the Louvre will pick up the phone next time we call."

Posted by: Thieves locked in a room with Randi Weingarten at October 22, 2025 12:57 PM (ldc7S)

287 182
French Rifles: Never fired. Dropped once.
Posted by: Frank Barone at October 22, 2025 12:40 PM (IifOV)

OMG. This is hilarious. Great literary reference as well +100.

Posted by: Darrell Harris - Je Suis Charlie at October 22, 2025 12:57 PM (0CU3H)

288 True, but (a) shouldn't there be a guard who sees this shit role up somehow? One CCTV at least. (b) No one legitimately uses a man lift at that angle (at least not on state property in public.)
Posted by: bob (moron incognitus) at October 22, 2025 12:53 PM (BLqOI)

And for a "secure" building you're going to know exactly what contractors and workmen are supposed to be there and when. That's just basic common sense. So it's just more retardation.

Posted by: Tards can still have kick-ass lives at October 22, 2025 12:57 PM (TbWk/)

289 >What I imagine, based on years of study and watching the first four seasons of Leverage, is that the thieves intend to ransom the jewels back to the Louvre

_Leverage_ is a well-constructed show with an absolutely rotten moral compass. So I'm assuming this is a joke.

This was a pro job, and pros don't chop up the take or try to fence an immediately identifiable piece. They were hired by a private collector who will keep the jewels (much more) safely in his private collection; they'll never see the light of day again.

Posted by: Daniel Ream at October 22, 2025 12:57 PM (LgYtf)

290 True, but (a) shouldn't there be a guard who sees this shit role up somehow? One CCTV at least. (b) No one legitimately uses a man lift at that angle (at least not on state property in public.)
Posted by: bob (moron incognitus) at October 22, 2025 12:53 PM (BLqOI)

There has to be a guard whose job it is to see unauthorized approaches to the building perimeter. To the casual passers-by, a manlift at a window does not immediately scream "robbery".

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at October 22, 2025 12:57 PM (8zz6B)

291 So, a lot of jewelry was stolen. Ummm...okay. Am I supposed to be outraged or what because I find that I just don't care and can't think of a single reason why I should.

Posted by: Somewhere South of I-80 at October 22, 2025 12:55 PM (89Sog)

----------------

It's not like some Islamists burned down Notre Dame.

Posted by: ShainS -- Bury My Heart At a Texas MoMe at October 22, 2025 12:57 PM (iBAge)

292 The British series Hustle has several capers centered around audacious thefts. One is involving one of the Crown Jewels taken out of the Tower for a special exhibit.

Season 2 episode 6 Eye of the Beholder.
Worth watching and available on Prime among other places.

Posted by: whig at October 22, 2025 12:58 PM (WDjG6)

293 Conservatives have jumped on this sentence to suggest Buffin is unqualified for the job and only got it because she is female.
--------

Pro tip: You can remove "Conservatives have jumped on this sentence to suggest" from any sentence.

Posted by: ... at October 22, 2025 12:58 PM (lonsH)

294 It inclines one to think contemptuously of the French.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at October 22, 2025 12:58 PM (XeU6L)

295 A 10 is easily identifiable by her elbows.
Posted by: ... at October 22, 2025 12:55 PM (lonsH)

And by the "BRRRRRRT" sound

Posted by: Josephistan at October 22, 2025 12:58 PM (y9ksN)

296 A 10 is easily identifiable by her elbows.
-------

And knees.

Posted by: Stan Hanes at October 22, 2025 12:58 PM (TN0g+)

297 Shouldn't the European left be happy about this theft? All those jewels, the product of imperialism, a display of obnoxious wealth were others can't get a fresh pomme, etc. etc.

Posted by: Lex at October 22, 2025 12:58 PM (l5xX+)

298 This account claims the jewels were protected by armored glass and would drop into below-the-floor safes if the glass were cut -- until 2019, when this actual security was replaced by... normal glass and no drop-thorugh-the-floor safes.

The head of the Louvre said her mission was to reduce the "elitism" of the Louvre and "democratize" art.

I figure the odds are at least 50% that this woman is going to be spotted wearing the jewels any day now.

Posted by: Ian S. at October 22, 2025 12:58 PM (2ocoG)

299 Am I the 8,00000 person to reference Inspector Clouseau?

French Imperial jewels stolen in broad daylight from the Louvre? Dude, Pink Panther references were circulating before the thieves had left the complex...

Posted by: Brother Tim (102mm/W59), Keeper of the Tim Continuum at October 22, 2025 12:58 PM (OUMaO)

300 There is one interesting issue.

A lot of the security measures in place probably evolved before the era of cheap battery power tools. Same with stuff like the locks on security gates outside stores, or the "boots" they put on cars -- shit is so easy to cut through nowadays, and that was not true until this century or so.

I bet a lot of museums are rethinking their security since even "bulletproof" glass has to have a steel frame, and that frame is easily cut with a battery angle grinder.

Posted by: bob (moron incognitus) at October 22, 2025 12:58 PM (BLqOI)

301 Oh, and yeah, the British Museum includes art items stolen from Jews during the Holocaust. I don't know details about the contents of the Louvre. But, it's probably a good bet that they aren't much different.
Posted by: Orson at October 22, 2025 12:55 PM (dIske)

The Louvre was created by Napoleon to store all the art that he 'acquired' on his military adventures.

Posted by: Darrell Harris - Je Suis Charlie at October 22, 2025 12:58 PM (0CU3H)

302 "264 There is video floating around from somewhere in France of these people simultaneously cooking, eating, and raping a lady.
Posted by: heya

Which part of her were they cooking and eating?
Posted by: Thomas Paine at October 22, 2025 12:54 PM (8pW8Z)"

Limbs.

It cannot be overstated how utterly evil it is to let your society be overrun by barbarians.

Posted by: heya at October 22, 2025 12:59 PM (Qa1H2)

303 So, the Louvre's security plan is the same as France's immigration plan: let 'em in, let 'em loot.

Posted by: Sacre Blow at October 22, 2025 12:59 PM (qUkBO)

304 280 I need to rewatch "A Shot in the Dark". One of my top 10 comedies
Posted by: Josephistan at October 22, 2025 12:56 PM (y9ksN)

Decent song by Ozzy too

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at October 22, 2025 12:59 PM (xcxpd)

305 I was on a plane with my Japanese boss coming back from a business trip. He told me he was going to get another flight when we landed because he had to go the Indiana Police.

I asked him why did he have to see the police before I figured out he was saying Indianapolis.

Posted by: the way I see it at October 22, 2025 12:59 PM (EYmYM)

306
At first I thought, why grab these jewels and, as ace said cut them up or pull them off the settings and sell them separately? It's so much work, too much lost value. Why not just rob a jewelry store?

Then I realized. Jewelry stores have security.

Posted by: Thieves locked in a room with Randi Weingarten at October 22, 2025 12:59 PM (ldc7S)

307 301 Oh, and yeah, the British Museum includes art items stolen from Jews during the Holocaust. I don't know details about the contents of the Louvre. But, it's probably a good bet that they aren't much different.
Posted by: Orson at October 22, 2025 12:55 PM (dIske)

The Louvre was created by Napoleon to store all the art that he 'acquired' on his military adventures.
Posted by: Darrell Harris - Je Suis Charlie at October 22, 2025 12:58 PM (0CU3H)

So its the French version of the British Museum?

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at October 22, 2025 12:59 PM (xcxpd)

308 Thief is another good jewel heist movie.

James Caan
Posted by: the way I see it at

Topkapi is like the godfather of them all.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at October 22, 2025 01:00 PM (mlg/3)

309 280 I need to rewatch "A Shot in the Dark". One of my top 10 comedies
Posted by: Josephistan
=====
I like that one better than the original Pink Panther movie. Although, I can only take Clouseau in small doses every couple of years or so.

Posted by: whig at October 22, 2025 01:00 PM (WDjG6)

310 Was the heist during morning muz prayers? Guards might have been facing east.

Posted by: Sports Illustrated PR team at October 22, 2025 01:00 PM (s9EN2)

311 So, a lot of jewelry was stolen. Ummm...okay. Am I supposed to be outraged or what because I find that I just don't care and can't think of a single reason why I should.
Posted by: Somewhere South of I-80

Jewelry -- all jewelry -- bores the crap out of me. I guess if they're historical artifacts, that makes them more noteworthy than the rest, but I still don't care.

And equating jewels with a piece of one's soul is about the faggiest thing I have ever heard.

Posted by: Bulg at October 22, 2025 01:00 PM (77rzZ)

312 "300 There is one interesting issue.

A lot of the security measures in place probably evolved before the era of cheap battery power tools. Same with stuff like the locks on security gates outside stores, or the "boots" they put on cars -- shit is so easy to cut through nowadays, and that was not true until this century or so.

I bet a lot of museums are rethinking their security since even "bulletproof" glass has to have a steel frame, and that frame is easily cut with a battery angle grinder.
Posted by: bob (moron incognitus) at October 22, 2025 12:58 PM (BLqOI)"

Battery and gas powered tools for crime have been a thing for years.

This is pure DEI incompetence. Reminds me of the credit reporting agency that hired the music major for their head of IT security and a bunch of their hardware was left with the default password on it.

Posted by: heya at October 22, 2025 01:00 PM (Qa1H2)

313 I have the 'crown jewels' right here *points*

Posted by: Mrs. Macron at October 22, 2025 01:01 PM (0sNs1)

314 Edgar Fleury
@EdgarFleuryLDF

What was stolen from the Louvre is not merely a work of art.
It is a fragment of the French soul, torn from our shared memory.
Beauty does not belong to those who possess it,
but to those who respect it, protect it, pass it on.

Every theft, every act of vandalism,
reminds us how fragile culture is when conscience falls asleep.
One does not protect a museum with cameras,
but with a nation that still knows what it owes.

The memory of France is not for sale,
it must be defended like a bord

Posted by: redridinghood at October 22, 2025 01:01 PM (NpAcC)

315 Odds that this was an inside job? 90%.

Posted by: Elric The Blade at October 22, 2025 01:01 PM (iFTx/)

316 There has to be a guard whose job it is to see unauthorized approaches to the building perimeter. To the casual passers-by, a manlift at a window does not immediately scream "robbery".
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon

-------------
Yes, I agree.

Posted by: bob (moron incognitus) at October 22, 2025 01:01 PM (BLqOI)

317 What's the first thought that crosses your mind when you see a manlift at the window of a large building downtown? Contractors? Window washers? Whatever. "Thieves" is waaay down the list.
--------

But not if you work there. I'm not even in security and the moment I see something that's not "typical" for the building, I get out of my chair and have a look around. Museum security should be more curious than I am.

Posted by: Crusader at October 22, 2025 01:01 PM (TN0g+)

318 280 I need to rewatch "A Shot in the Dark". One of my top 10 comedies
Posted by: Josephistan at October 22, 2025 12:56 PM (y9ksN)

Me Too! I learned that it was an ordinary, not very good dectective - imitation Agatha Christie script being shopped around, and Blake Edwards read it and thought - wait a minute, what if I stick Clouseau into the middle of this? The result was genius!

Posted by: Tom Servo at October 22, 2025 01:01 PM (uWKK8)

319 255 Easy to tell. If she doesn't get fired, she's a diversity hire.

In a culture of meritocracy, failure leads to dismissal immediately.

We all know this won't happen
Posted by: Kevin Canuck

I mean, they eventually fired Des Moines schools superintendent "Dr." Ian Roberts, and he was DEFINITELY a diversity hire. A smooth, athletic, "educated" black dude hired by a board 100% comprised of middle-aged frumpy Karens.

Posted by: Moron Analyst at October 22, 2025 01:01 PM (JCZqz)

320 The next National Treasures movie will have Nic Cage stealing the Liberty Bell by backing in a F-150, rolling it in, and puttering off.

Posted by: Cray Cray at October 22, 2025 01:01 PM (78mYQ)

321 You'd think if someone would be capable of safeguarding some over-the-top jewelry, it would be chicks.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at October 22, 2025 01:01 PM (9FEtL)

322 313 I have the 'crown jewels' right here *points*
Posted by: Mrs. Macron at October 22, 2025 01:01 PM (0sNs1)

I KNEW IT! I KNEW IT!!

Posted by: Candace Owens at October 22, 2025 01:02 PM (PiwSw)

323 shouldn't there be a guard who sees this shit role up somehow?
___

"She" was busy in the women's bathroom retucking "her" penis.

Posted by: Sacre Blow at October 22, 2025 01:02 PM (qUkBO)

324 At first I thought, why grab these jewels and, as ace said cut them up or pull them off the settings and sell them separately? It's so much work, too much lost value. Why not just rob a jewelry store?

Then I realized. Jewelry stores have security.
Posted by: Thieves locked in a room with Randi Weingarten at October 22, 2025 12:59 PM (ldc7S)

A jewelry store smash and grab happens every other day somewhere in the USA.

Posted by: the way I see it at October 22, 2025 01:02 PM (EYmYM)

325 308 Thief is another good jewel heist movie.

James Caan
Posted by: the way I see it at
-----
Thief sort of takes the real Lufthansa Airport theft as inspiration and applying it to safecracking. What is true in both stories is that the little guys doing the robberies were whacked for insurance after the mob senior types got their hands on the loot.

Posted by: whig at October 22, 2025 01:02 PM (WDjG6)

326 The memory of France is not for sale,
it must be defended like a bord
------

Here's a thought--perhaps defending *France* might be a good starting point.

Posted by: Crusader at October 22, 2025 01:02 PM (TN0g+)

327 Why ransom them? There are any number of billionaires and Arab potentates who want to own Napoleon's treasure, and occasionally dress a rented supermodel in them while banging her and then taking a dump on her.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at October 22, 2025 01:02 PM (BI5O2)

328 Odds that this was an inside job? 90%.
Posted by: Elric The Blade at October 22, 2025 01:01 PM (iFTx/)

That would presume the people inside have competence. Revised figure - 45%

Posted by: ... at October 22, 2025 01:02 PM (lonsH)

329 Let us not diss battery-powered tools unnecessarily.

They have their uses; drilling holes for shelving installation, for example.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at October 22, 2025 01:02 PM (0sNs1)

330 I'm happy the jewels could be put to better use before France submitted to Islam

Posted by: Fen at October 22, 2025 01:03 PM (sT6kc)

331 Thief is a great movie.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at October 22, 2025 01:03 PM (BI5O2)

332 There is video floating around from somewhere in France of these people simultaneously cooking, eating, and raping a lady.

Is this the same as how the Indians used every part of the buffalo?

Posted by: Ian S. at October 22, 2025 01:03 PM (2ocoG)

333 The guy who directed Pink Panther movies was married to Julie Andrews.

Posted by: dantesed at October 22, 2025 01:03 PM (Oy/m2)

334 The memory of France is not for sale,
it must be defended like a bord

----

Do you have a leesense for that bord?

Posted by: Inspector Clouseau at October 22, 2025 01:03 PM (y9ksN)

335 They stole a piece of France's soul.
--------

Who will save your soul?

Posted by: Jewel at October 22, 2025 01:04 PM (lonsH)

336 Smells like an inside job. They are using these idiots as a smoke screen. Theives knew gallery would not be open. Would not have guards in or nearby. (SMASHING GLASS CASES LOUD) they also knew they would not be bothered by outside patrols. They had somebody in security, or had worked inside long enough to have comms, and know patterns.

Posted by: Not the pink panther but... at October 22, 2025 01:04 PM (HI/OC)

337 If a world-famous museum can be robbed in broad daylight… what does that say about the guardians of culture?

---------------

They're Cultural Suicidal Death Cultists.

Posted by: ShainS -- Bury My Heart At a Texas MoMe at October 22, 2025 01:04 PM (uzjGf)

338 And equating jewels with a piece of one's soul is about the faggiest thing I have ever heard.
Posted by: Bulg

Well, to be fair, it IS France.

Posted by: rickb223 Acehole Extraordinaire coined by JSpicy at October 22, 2025 01:04 PM (Qd7dZ)

339 Maybe someone wants to be king

Posted by: Skip at October 22, 2025 01:04 PM (xatjc)

340 Battery and gas powered tools for crime have been a thing for years.

This is pure DEI incompetence. Reminds me of the credit reporting agency that hired the music major for their head of IT security and a bunch of their hardware was left with the default password on it.
Posted by: heya

------------
Yeah, gas. No one would notice that.

Battery saws and grinders existed as far back as the late 80s (IIRC) but even in the 90s they kind of sucked -- low power and short battery life) Yes, museums had 20, 30 years to react but I am just saying that I bet a lot need to fix a lot of vulnerabilities that did not exist 30 years ago and they did not realize existed until two days ago.

Posted by: bob (moron incognitus) at October 22, 2025 01:04 PM (BLqOI)

341 The guy who directed Pink Panther movies was married to Julie Andrews.
Posted by: dantesed

Blake Edwards

Posted by: Bulg at October 22, 2025 01:04 PM (77rzZ)

342 Easy to tell. If she doesn't get fired, she's a diversity hire.
____

*shifty eyes*
-Kathleen "The Force is Female" Kennedy

Posted by: Chuck Martel at October 22, 2025 01:04 PM (Dv3i1)

343 When Barron sits on the Throne of Skulls wearing the imperial crown, we will know who was really behind this.

Posted by: toby928(c) at October 22, 2025 01:05 PM (jc0TO)

344 A security force should always be told to question any contractor work that they have not been advised of and even then double check.

It’s only been the theft operating procedure in a million movies and real life thefts.

Posted by: the way I see it at October 22, 2025 01:05 PM (EYmYM)

345 OT: If someone wanted a preening filibuster, the Senator from Oregon is doing his preening best, looking to beat Corey Booker's preening from earlier this year.

So, ultimately, probably no Senate shutdown votes today...maybe tomorrow...

Posted by: Nova Local at October 22, 2025 01:05 PM (tOcjL)

346 The funniest ending to this caper would be Vlad Putin showing up wearing the jewels at a negotiation for the Uke war...

Posted by: 18-1 at October 22, 2025 01:05 PM (sKqQm)

347 Odds that this was an inside job? 90%.

Like I said earlier, the odds that the woman who ordered the security be reduced on this stuff shows up wearing the stolen items is at least 50%.

Posted by: Ian S. at October 22, 2025 01:05 PM (2ocoG)

348 Blake Edwards
Posted by: Bulg at October 22, 2025 01:04 PM

The Comedian?

Posted by: toby928(c) at October 22, 2025 01:05 PM (jc0TO)

349 I'll laugh if Melania shows up wearing this stuff.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at October 22, 2025 01:06 PM (BI5O2)

350
I have to have a sales person open the case at a Walgreens to get deodorant, but these guys walk in to the louve and steal crown jewels.

Posted by: Frank Barone at October 22, 2025 01:06 PM (IifOV)

351 The French revolutionaries murdered their government and stole those jewels.
Perhaps someone was pissed off about that?

Posted by: torabora at October 22, 2025 01:06 PM (KtOUo)

352 I mean, they eventually fired Des Moines schools superintendent "Dr." Ian Roberts, and he was DEFINITELY a diversity hire. A smooth, athletic, "educated" black dude hired by a board 100% comprised of middle-aged frumpy Karens.
Posted by: Moron Analyst

I don't think they wanted to fire him, but the arrest and deportation order forced their hand.

Posted by: Thomas Paine at October 22, 2025 01:06 PM (8pW8Z)

353 Did you guys know there was a woman who claimed she was the "real" Jewel Kilcher and that the stage Jewel was an impostor who stole her identity long ago and that all her concerts and performances were specifically designed to rub it in her face? She used to angrily comment on all the YT videos, etc.

People are fucking lunatics. I'm trying to figure out one good reason to ever be famous and it eludes me.

Posted by: ... at October 22, 2025 01:06 PM (lonsH)

354 Smells like an inside job. They are using these idiots as a smoke screen.

I suspect this happens a lot.

It wasn't an accident that two incompetent guards where on duty the night that Epstein was killed...

Posted by: 18-1 at October 22, 2025 01:06 PM (sKqQm)

355 The funniest ending to this caper would be Vlad Putin showing up wearing the jewels at a negotiation for the Uke war...
Posted by: 18-1

Eh. He's got the Romanov crown jewels if he wants them. Crown of Monomakh, etc.

Posted by: Bulg at October 22, 2025 01:06 PM (77rzZ)

356 Maybe someone wants to be king
Posted by: Skip

Has anyone seen Mel Brooks lately?

Posted by: rickb223 Acehole Extraordinaire coined by JSpicy at October 22, 2025 01:06 PM (Qd7dZ)

357 How long until Macron blames a secret cabal of Bonapartist's who are seeking the Third Empire.? No Roi, Oui le Emperor

Posted by: Smell the Glove at October 22, 2025 01:07 PM (8RjCi)

358 The guy who directed Pink Panther movies was married to Julie Andrews.

Who showed her boobs in a movie and the female head of security is a boob! IT'S ALL RIGHT THERE, SHEEPLE!!

Posted by: Oddbob at October 22, 2025 01:07 PM (3nLb4)

359 348 Blake Edwards
Posted by: Bulg at October 22, 2025 01:04 PM

The Comedian?
Posted by: toby928(c) at October 22, 2025 01:05 PM (jc0TO)

the movie director. Not all of his stuff was great, but he had more hits than misses.

Posted by: Tom Servo at October 22, 2025 01:07 PM (uWKK8)

360 Straight forward Chicago smash and grab. Took 15 minutes to plan, 5 minutes to perform. High school kids could have pulled this off with zero security.

Posted by: Xipe Totec at October 22, 2025 01:07 PM (pohLc)

361 353 Did you guys know there was a woman who claimed she was the "real" Jewel Kilcher and that the stage Jewel was an impostor who stole her identity long ago and that all her concerts and performances were specifically designed to rub it in her face? She used to angrily comment on all the YT videos, etc.

People are fucking lunatics. I'm trying to figure out one good reason to ever be famous and it eludes me.
Posted by: ...
=========
Moths drawn to flames comes to mind.

Posted by: whig at October 22, 2025 01:07 PM (WDjG6)

362 "316 There has to be a guard whose job it is to see unauthorized approaches to the building perimeter. To the casual passers-by, a manlift at a window does not immediately scream "robbery".
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon"

Nah. That requires discipline, forethought, and running an effective organization with accountability.

Not something DEI bints are known for.

If you put a cat lady in charge of a group expecting, say, a first world military, what you get instead is an arab military. If that example makes sense.

They are the worse embodiment of the stereotype about people like that having a social/consensus-constructed reality. The security, to them, was real, because it *felt* real, because they were properly ticking off boxes about mandatory sexual harassment training.

If you want a similar example that hits close to home of organizational decay, look at the failed American efforts to train Ukrainian assault brigades. They dicked around with compasses and entry level land-nav exercises, and ran them through 50 year old entry level task shit. When they were asked about drone training, the Americans said they didn't have any, nor the German permits to do so.

Posted by: heya at October 22, 2025 01:07 PM (Qa1H2)

363 I have the 'crown jewels' right here *points*
Posted by: Mrs. Macron at October 22, 2025 01:01 PM (0sNs1)

Big Mike has entered the chat.

Posted by: Ian S. at October 22, 2025 01:08 PM (2ocoG)

364 > Oh, and yeah, the British Museum includes art items stolen from Jews during the Holocaust.

Are you talking about the Feldmann collection? If so, the museum and the heirs reached a settlement and the heirs agreed to let the museum continue to show the art.

There are other items that have unknown provenance and the museum has extended an open invitation to anyone to make a claim if they can.

Some items are known to be looted, but there are no known heirs.

It's messy, but I feel like the museum has done their due diligence to make it right. It's not like people have good claims to Holocaust artifacts and the museum told them to go screw.

Posted by: bonhomme at October 22, 2025 01:08 PM (Yp6az)

365 Did you guys know there was a woman who claimed she was the "real" Jewel Kilcher and that the stage Jewel was an impostor who stole her identity long ago and that all her concerts and performances were specifically designed to rub it in her face? She used to angrily comment on all the YT videos, etc.

People are fucking lunatics. I'm trying to figure out one good reason to ever be famous and it eludes me.
Posted by: ...

*DNA has entered the chat

Posted by: rickb223 Acehole Extraordinaire coined by JSpicy at October 22, 2025 01:08 PM (Qd7dZ)

366 sock off

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at October 22, 2025 01:08 PM (ldc7S)

367 Maybe the jewels were stolen by Bonapartists who want to revive the imperial throne. Er, are there any Bonaparte descendants still living?

Posted by: Paco at October 22, 2025 01:08 PM (mADJX)

368 This robbery is the result of long term bureaucratic complacency and poor stewardship. The fact that they switched in incompetent female bureaucrats in place of incompetent male ones is of no consequence. It's not like the cranes and chainsaws by which this robbery was effected are recent inventions that should have been taken into account. The Louvre has been open to this type of attack for generations.

Posted by: AMartel at October 22, 2025 01:08 PM (otvi3)

369 I bet she got hired for another reason that is very common in America: forget her credentials, expertise, or piffling matters like is she is qualified for the job.

She Knows People.

She did lots of networking for the job, and got it, for that reason and that reason alone.

Posted by: Cow Demon at October 22, 2025 01:09 PM (pNkJD)

370 Her indian name is Gentle Wind.

Posted by: dreamingrobot at October 22, 2025 01:09 PM (EyfuW)

371 I would bone that Italian PM apart

Posted by: ... at October 22, 2025 01:09 PM (lonsH)

372 I have to have a sales person open the case at a Walgreens to get deodorant, but...
-------

No offense, but you should move.

Posted by: Crusader at October 22, 2025 01:09 PM (TN0g+)

373 Zee zero sheets—zay are geeven

Posted by: Adieu mon bijoux at October 22, 2025 01:09 PM (O/BXV)

374
Louvre's budget: €250 million

Louvre's password: 1234

--------------

John Podesta's password -- "Password" -- is available for reuse!

Posted by: ShainS -- Bury My Heart At a Texas MoMe at October 22, 2025 01:09 PM (uzjGf)

375
OUT: Dindu Nuffin
IN: Du-Nuffin Buffin

Posted by: Tex Lovera at October 22, 2025 01:09 PM (wtvvX)

376 >>The head of the Louvre said her mission was to reduce the "elitism" of the Louvre and "democratize" art.

What could be more democratic than handing it out to some laborer with an angle grinder?

Posted by: bob (moron incognitus) at October 22, 2025 01:09 PM (BLqOI)

377 "344 A security force should always be told to question any contractor work that they have not been advised of and even then double check.

It’s only been the theft operating procedure in a million movies and real life thefts.
Posted by: the way I see it at October 22, 2025 01:05 PM (EYmYM)"

It used to take 20 minutes just to get ready to walk 100 yards to go take a shit, in the museum I worked in.

Posted by: heya at October 22, 2025 01:09 PM (Qa1H2)

378 DNA has entered the chat
Posted by: rickb223 Acehole Extraordinaire coined by JSpicy at October 22, 2025 01:08 PM (Qd7dZ)

I believe she claimed it was, get this, a conspiracy.

Posted by: ... at October 22, 2025 01:10 PM (lonsH)

379 A single feminist alone could do nothing but a coven of feminists decide nothing could be done.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Fat, Dumb, and Happy at October 22, 2025 01:10 PM (L/fGl)

380 The denizens of Democratic Underground are Big Mad! about the 'destruction' of the East Wing of the White House in preparation for the Big Beautiful Ballroom.

I hope Big Ballz is invited to the inaugural ball held there.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at October 22, 2025 01:10 PM (0sNs1)

381 I bet she got hired for another reason that is very common in America

Sucking a golf ball through a garden hose.

Posted by: rickb223 Acehole Extraordinaire coined by JSpicy at October 22, 2025 01:10 PM (Qd7dZ)

382 Dollar General locked up the expensive shampoo.

Posted by: Boss Moss at October 22, 2025 01:10 PM (sGHnN)

383 Did you guys know there was a woman who claimed she was the "real" Jewel Kilcher and that the stage Jewel was an impostor who stole her identity

Posted by: ...

*DNA has entered the chat
Posted by: rickb223 Acehole Extraordinaire coined by JSpicy at October 22, 2025 01:08 PM (Qd7dZ)

DNA did the Suzanne Vega remix, not Jewel.

Posted by: Ian S. at October 22, 2025 01:10 PM (2ocoG)

384 Apparently Jewel is friends with Ivanka. Performed for a RFK jr event and then later was forced to apologize for it...

Posted by: 18-1 at October 22, 2025 01:10 PM (sKqQm)

385 We all know this won't happen
Posted by: Kevin Canuck at October 22, 2025 12:53 PM (/xmMU)

You any relation to Andy?

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at October 22, 2025 01:10 PM (8zz6B)

386 Posted by: bonhomme at October 22, 2025 01:08 PM (Yp6az)

The only ones I question a bit are the paintings actually sold prior to the war but subsequently claimed they were sold under duress .

Posted by: the way I see it at October 22, 2025 01:10 PM (EYmYM)

387 Er, are there any Bonaparte descendants still living?
Posted by: Paco

Probably. One of Nappy I's nephews or great-nephews became Attorney General of the US. He founded the FBI.

Posted by: Bulg at October 22, 2025 01:10 PM (77rzZ)

388 Just got a great headline on Newsbreak. "Jogger killed after colliding with Truck". Must have been jogging fast

Posted by: Smell the Glove at October 22, 2025 01:10 PM (8RjCi)

389 C'mon. They don't give a crap about their cultural inheritance. I care even less than they do.

Frogs.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at October 22, 2025 01:11 PM (9ipOP)

390 Apparently Jewel is friends with Ivanka. Performed for a RFK jr event and then later was forced to apologize for it...
Posted by: 18-1 at October 22, 2025 01:10 PM (sKqQm)

She also dated Sean Penn for a while after her divorce. Took away any attraction I had for her.

Posted by: the way I see it at October 22, 2025 01:11 PM (EYmYM)

391 It used to take 20 minutes just to get ready to walk 100 yards to go take a shit, in the museum I worked in.
Posted by: heya at October 22, 2025 01:09 PM

Dude. Just dump, smear it on a wall, and get hailed!

Posted by: Modern Artiste at October 22, 2025 01:11 PM (0sNs1)

392 380 The denizens of Democratic Underground are Big Mad! about the 'destruction' of the East Wing of the White House in preparation for the Big Beautiful Ballroom.

I hope Big Ballz is invited to the inaugural ball held there.
Posted by: Duncanthrax at October 22, 2025 01:10 PM (0sNs1)

=======

Expanding the East Wing is evil! Progress must stop! Conserve things as they are!

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, seeing dreamlike horrors with Mario Bava at October 22, 2025 01:11 PM (GBKbO)

393 Has anyone seen Mel Brooks lately?"

It's good to be the king...

Posted by: man at October 22, 2025 01:11 PM (tubbA)

394 Meanwhile the Dems/media are having a meltdown over "Trump's" ballroom....

Posted by: It's me donna at October 22, 2025 01:12 PM (VE6XX)

395 Reminds me of the Secret Service, and Bondi, and Brinson, and Biden. Joy.

Posted by: Sports Illustrated PR team at October 22, 2025 01:12 PM (s9EN2)

396 >>>I'm trying to figure out one good reason to ever be famous and it eludes me.

poon

Posted by: one hour sober at October 22, 2025 01:12 PM (Y1sOo)

397 "Yeah, gas. No one would notice that.

Battery saws and grinders existed as far back as the late 80s (IIRC) but even in the 90s they kind of sucked -- low power and short battery life) Yes, museums had 20, 30 years to react but I am just saying that I bet a lot need to fix a lot of vulnerabilities that did not exist 30 years ago and they did not realize existed until two days ago.
Posted by: bob (moron incognitus) at October 22, 2025 01:04 PM (BLqOI)"

Doesn't matter if they notice. What are they gonna do? There was no security personnel present in a position to do anything, and the guests aren't going to stop anything.

Not like a battery powered angle grinder going through the bars is quiet either.

As noted I have worked security for museums and other extremely secure sites. 100% it is known this is a thing. There is no excuse, there.

Posted by: heya at October 22, 2025 01:12 PM (Qa1H2)

398 I would bone that Italian PM apart

Posted by: ... at October 22, 2025 01:09 PM (lonsH)

Speaking of things that only take 4 minutes.

Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at October 22, 2025 01:12 PM (i24o9)

399 369 I bet she got hired for another reason that is very common in America: forget her credentials, expertise, or piffling matters like is she is qualified for the job.

She Knows People.

She did lots of networking for the job, and got it, for that reason and that reason alone.
Posted by: Cow Demon
------
People getting hired because of patronage networks, regardless of qualifications, has been around as long as civilization.

A good system though weeds out the incompetents before there is a crisis that the incompetent idiot will fail.

Posted by: whig at October 22, 2025 01:12 PM (WDjG6)

400 Jewel is one of the top 3 living voices IMO

Posted by: ... at October 22, 2025 01:13 PM (lonsH)

401 387 Er, are there any Bonaparte descendants still living?
Posted by: Paco

Probably. One of Nappy I's nephews or great-nephews became Attorney General of the US. He founded the FBI.
Posted by: Bulg at October 22, 2025 01:10 PM (77rzZ)

Actor Rene Auberjonois was the descendant of Napoleon's sister and the King of Naples.

Posted by: Tom Servo at October 22, 2025 01:13 PM (uWKK8)

402 A good system though weeds out the incompetents before there is a crisis that the incompetent idiot will fail.

Pretty sure that's rayciss.

Posted by: 18-1 at October 22, 2025 01:13 PM (sKqQm)

403 Donald's pants require big ball room.

Posted by: Trump's Tailor at October 22, 2025 01:13 PM (Dv3i1)

404 My daughter is taking a "bright side" attitude about this ...

"It's refreshing to see that these thieves were willing to put in the work to study the situation and then get in there quickly and efficiently and get the job done. That's better than what some people do with their day job. It's nice to know an actual heist can be done in the age of security everywhere."

Posted by: Madamemayhem (uppity wench) at October 22, 2025 01:13 PM (2J/Lj)

405 399 People getting hired because of patronage networks, regardless of qualifications, has been around as long as civilization.

A good system though weeds out the incompetents before there is a crisis that the incompetent idiot will fail.
Posted by: whig at October 22, 2025 01:12 PM (WDjG6)

========

"I knew a guy who knows security."

vs.

"I know a woman who knows disparate impact on asylum seekers."

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, seeing dreamlike horrors with Mario Bava at October 22, 2025 01:13 PM (GBKbO)

406 My family jewels are, how do you say, intact and well taken care of. Also huge. The ladies, they like to polish them.

Posted by: The Paolo at October 22, 2025 01:13 PM (gWBY1)

407 Here is your answer - given security failed, someone must be fired. Rightly so, it should be the head of security, and the dumbo that hired and directed her.

If they are not both immediately fired (and potentially prosecuted for dereliction of duty), then they are obviously DEI hires.

Posted by: El Mariachi - Attorney at Law at October 22, 2025 01:13 PM (D1vbu)

408 Dude. Just dump, smear it on a wall, and get hailed!
Posted by: Modern Artiste

Hunter Biden sock opportunity missed.

Posted by: Bulg at October 22, 2025 01:13 PM (77rzZ)

409 I guess French security ignored the very real possibility Muslims might decide such a lift is a perfect vehicle to deliver a very large bomb.

Yeah, I know raycisssss.

Posted by: blake - semi lurker in marginal standing (tT6L1) at October 22, 2025 01:13 PM (tT6L1)

410 Actor Rene Auberjonois was the descendant of Napoleon's sister and the King of Naples.

They should have had him look like Nappy on DS9. I mean why not he's a shapeshifter...

Posted by: 18-1 at October 22, 2025 01:13 PM (sKqQm)

411 I watched an early Kubrick heist movie the other day, The Killing, and it was quite good and resembled this incident.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Fat, Dumb, and Happy at October 22, 2025 01:14 PM (L/fGl)

412 Posted by: TheJamesMadison, seeing dreamlike horrors with Mario Bava at October 22, 2025 12:56 PM (GBKbO)

You are good man TJM. I never got the impression that I should be mad about this. I hope the thieves live out their lives in luxury.

BTW, can we talk about this Prometheus thing?

Posted by: Somewhere South of I-80 at October 22, 2025 01:14 PM (89Sog)

413 Jewel is one of the top 3 living voices IMO

Posted by: ... at October 22, 2025 01:13 PM (lonsH)

Like nails on a chalkboard crossed with a bleating fawn being eaten by a predator for me.

Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at October 22, 2025 01:14 PM (i24o9)

414 Dollar General locked up the expensive shampoo.
-------
Dollar General doesn't sell expensive shampoo.

Posted by: Crusader at October 22, 2025 01:14 PM (TN0g+)

415 387 Er, are there any Bonaparte descendants still living?
Posted by: Paco

I think the current Napoleonic pretender is an investment banker in London

Posted by: Josephistan at October 22, 2025 01:15 PM (y9ksN)

416 Here is your answer - given security failed, someone must be fired. Rightly so, it should be the head of security, and the dumbo that hired and directed her.

I remember after Janet Reno murdered those people at Waco most people agreed she should resign. And then she..."took responsibility" and...just kept her job.

Posted by: 18-1 at October 22, 2025 01:15 PM (sKqQm)

417 396 >>>I'm trying to figure out one good reason to ever be famous and it eludes me.

poon
Posted by: one hour sober at October 22, 2025 01:12 PM (Y1sOo)

Seems like the starfuckers would get old pretty quick. But what little ol' starfuckerless me know?

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at October 22, 2025 01:15 PM (9FEtL)

418 Speaking of things that only take 4 minutes.
Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at October 22, 2025 01:12 PM (i24o9)

And might require a lift

Posted by: ... at October 22, 2025 01:15 PM (lonsH)

419 Bear in mind these are the same retards that let other retards throw soup on the Mona Lisa.

Posted by: Window-licking soup-slingers at October 22, 2025 01:15 PM (TbWk/)

420 To cheap to have $100,000,000 in jewels insured.
You know, that sounds French.

Posted by: Case at October 22, 2025 01:15 PM (9HFDU)

421
FDR tore apart the White House for remodeling, as did Jackie Kennedy. It's been 60 years, time for another remodel.

Posted by: Frank Barone at October 22, 2025 01:16 PM (IifOV)

422 This pleases me. My residuals will skyrocket!

Posted by: Nick Lowe at October 22, 2025 01:16 PM (w9Wax)

423 Rich + Famous < Rich

Posted by: 18-1 at October 22, 2025 01:16 PM (sKqQm)

424 The Louvre heist just makes me want to rewatch the Lupin TV series (which I really liked) and How to Steal a Million.

I think they had more security for the statue in How to Steal a Million than the Louvre had to protect these jewels.

Posted by: LizLem at October 22, 2025 01:16 PM (gWBY1)

425 I believe she claimed it was, get this, a conspiracy.
Posted by: ..

--------
I had to google Jewel Kitchner. Now I don't know which one is which.

What was that old show where they had 3 people stand in front of panel and say "My name is ....." and they had to convince them they were the real person? Maybe 60s or 70s era game show.

Posted by: bob (moron incognitus) at October 22, 2025 01:16 PM (BLqOI)

426 Like nails on a chalkboard crossed with a bleating fawn being eaten by a predator for me.
Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at October 22, 2025 01:14 PM (i24o9)

I guess to each their own

Posted by: ... at October 22, 2025 01:16 PM (lonsH)

427 424 I think they had more security for the statue in How to Steal a Million than the Louvre had to protect these jewels.
Posted by: LizLem at October 22, 2025 01:16 PM (gWBY1)

=======

And it was a forgery!

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, seeing dreamlike horrors with Mario Bava at October 22, 2025 01:16 PM (GBKbO)

428 I would bone that Italian PM apart

Posted by: ... at October 22, 2025 01:09 PM (lonsH)

Speaking of things that only take 4 minutes.
Posted by: Comrade Flounder

4? Showoff.

Posted by: rickb223 Acehole Extraordinaire coined by JSpicy at October 22, 2025 01:16 PM (Qd7dZ)

429 They will head to a pawn shop.

Posted by: Boss Moss at October 22, 2025 01:17 PM (sGHnN)

430 Speaking of things that only take 4 minutes.
Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at October 22, 2025 01:12 PM (i24o9)

And might require a lift

Posted by: ... at October 22, 2025 01:15 PM (lonsH)

lol

Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at October 22, 2025 01:17 PM (i24o9)

431 I would bone that Italian PM apart

Posted by: ... at October 22, 2025 01:09 PM (lonsH)

Speaking of things that only take 4 minutes.
Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at October 22, 2025 01:12 PM (i24o9)

Remember, in Sweden it's not rape if it's quick, according to a judge there.

Posted by: Ian S. at October 22, 2025 01:17 PM (2ocoG)

432 You are good man TJM. I never got the impression that I should be mad about this. I hope the thieves live out their lives in luxury.

BTW, can we talk about this Prometheus thing?
Posted by: Somewhere South of I-80 at October 22, 2025 01:14 PM

Pro Tip: He actually prefers to discuss Alien: Covenant.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at October 22, 2025 01:17 PM (0sNs1)

433 "I knew a guy who knows security."

vs.

"I know a woman who knows disparate impact on asylum seekers."
Posted by: TheJamesMadison
======
Rotten ruling elite networks in the West assume that their credentials are fungible and universal. Plus, it seems that nincompoops in office cannot be removed for incompetence because of their identity and politics of the ruling class as well.

So we keep rolling snake eyes because the elites have loaded the dice.

Posted by: whig at October 22, 2025 01:17 PM (WDjG6)

434 FDR tore apart the White House for remodeling, as did Jackie Kennedy. It's been 60 years, time for another remodel.
Posted by: Frank Barone at October 22, 2025 01:16 PM (IifOV)

Non for the people Swimming pools, bowling alleys, tennis courts, putting greens are just a few construction projects over the years.

Posted by: the way I see it at October 22, 2025 01:17 PM (EYmYM)

435 As noted I have worked security for museums and other extremely secure sites. 100% it is known this is a thing. There is no excuse, there.
Posted by: heya

-----------
I am not making excuses. And I agree that the vulnerability is obvious and should have been fixed. I am also saying that human nature is such that people refuse to admit security flaws until it slams them in the face.

Posted by: bob (moron incognitus) at October 22, 2025 01:18 PM (BLqOI)

436 From Wiki:

Charles Joseph Bonaparte (/ˈboʊnəpɑːrt/ BOH-nə-part; June 9, 1851 – June 28, 1921) was an American lawyer and political activist of French noble descent who advocated for progressive and liberal causes. Originally from Baltimore, Maryland, he served in the cabinet of the 26th U.S. president, Theodore Roosevelt.

He was a descendant of the House of Bonaparte. His grandfather was Jérôme Bonaparte, brother of Emperor Napoleon I,[1] and his grandmother was Elizabeth Patterson Bonaparte.

Bonaparte was the U.S. Secretary of the Navy and later the U.S. Attorney General.[2] During his tenure as Attorney General, he formed the Bureau of Investigation (now the FBI).[3][4] Bonaparte was one of the founders and for a time the president, of the National Municipal League. He was also an activist for the voting rights of black residents of his native city of Baltimore.[5]

Posted by: Bulg at October 22, 2025 01:18 PM (77rzZ)

437 Harder to get toothpaste in Manhattan than jewels in the Louvre.

Posted by: Earth: The Final Season at October 22, 2025 01:18 PM (qUkBO)

438 > The only ones I question a bit are the paintings actually sold prior to the war but subsequently claimed they were sold under duress .

That's fair. Like I said, it's messy. That sort of thing is hard to prove. Maybe it's sour grapes, or maybe there really was duress.

Posted by: bonhomme at October 22, 2025 01:18 PM (Yp6az)

439 It's all guns, boobs and rape gangs with you people.

Posted by: ... at October 22, 2025 01:18 PM (lonsH)

440 Dollar General doesn't sell expensive shampoo.

Posted by: Crusader at October 22, 2025 01:14 PM

Head & Shoulders with aloe. Duh.

Posted by: Hacksaw Jim at October 22, 2025 01:18 PM (IifOV)

441 Pro Tip: He actually prefers to discuss Alien: Covenant.

Rolling Spaceship of Doom vs Stop and Smell the Xenomorph Flowers

Posted by: 18-1 at October 22, 2025 01:18 PM (sKqQm)

442 Speaking of woke feminists . . .

One year ago today, Kamala Harris said President Trump has been an "obstacle" to border security.

Today, President Trump has achieved the most secure border in American history.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Fat, Dumb, and Happy at October 22, 2025 01:18 PM (L/fGl)

443 Speaking of things that only take 4 minutes.
Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at October 22, 2025 01:12 PM

Tell us you know about cup sizes without telling us you know about cup sizes.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at October 22, 2025 01:18 PM (0sNs1)

444 425 I believe she claimed it was, get this, a conspiracy.
Posted by: ..

--------
I had to google Jewel Kitchner. Now I don't know which one is which.

What was that old show where they had 3 people stand in front of panel and say "My name is ....." and they had to convince them they were the real person? Maybe 60s or 70s era game show.

Posted by: bob (moron incognitus) at October 22, 2025 01:16 PM (BLqOI)

To Tell the Truth

Posted by: Tex Lovera at October 22, 2025 01:18 PM (wtvvX)

445 FDR tore apart the White House for remodeling, as did Jackie Kennedy. It's been 60 years, time for another remodel.
Posted by: Frank Barone at October 22, 2025 01:16 PM (IifOV)

in fact the part that Trump is tearing apart was a set of offices added by FDR in the 40's. Real historic.
"BUT ELEANORE ROOSEVELT ONCE WALKED THERE!!!"

Posted by: Tom Servo at October 22, 2025 01:19 PM (uWKK8)

446 NEW - Louvre security chief Dominique Buffin, the museum’s first female security head, hired last September by the museum's first female director, accused of being a "diversity hire" — Telegraph

------------------

"I'd hit both of those hot babes in a Commie New York Minute!" -- Megan Rappin'hoe

Posted by: ShainS -- Bury My Heart At a Texas MoMe at October 22, 2025 01:19 PM (uzjGf)

447 Remember, in Sweden it's not rape if it's quick, according to a judge there.

Posted by: Ian S. at October 22, 2025 01:17 PM (2ocoG)

Second look at Sweden?

Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at October 22, 2025 01:19 PM (i24o9)

448 "A good system though weeds out the incompetents before there is a crisis that the incompetent idiot will fail.
Posted by: whig at October 22, 2025 01:12 PM (WDjG6)"

This is why I called out the credit bureau that had the VP in charge of IT security who was a music major. It was clowns all the way down. You get massive organizational failure when the people whose job it is to hire professionals that know what they're doing, don't. The fundamental failure is that they are too stupid to know they are stupid.

Similar case of failure in IT is the trading firm about 10 years back that shit the bed because they were pushing updates to their trading machines live, via thumb drive (huge red flag), and whose shitty Indian programmers were re-using variables (another huge red flag). They incurred a 9 figure loss in about 20 minutes and ceased to exist.

I can think of two more examples in the last few years - not publicly known - of major national corporations with oxygen-thief heads of IT who got ransomwared and whose backups were never tested. You wanna guess if the backups worked? Anyone?

We mostly don't have good systems anymore. We have cat ladies and Democrats.

Posted by: heya at October 22, 2025 01:19 PM (Qa1H2)

449 Posted by: bonhomme at October 22, 2025 01:08 PM (Yp6az)
__________________

Heh...yes, the Rosetta Stone is very British. Oh, wait, no. It's Egyptian. And, let's not forget that when England looted it, they weren't even fighting the Egyptians. They were fighting the French in Egypt, and saw a nice piece of loot.

The British Museum has a little program they are running now. They will temporarily loan looted items back to the countries from which they looted them. But, they all come back to the British Museum eventually.

How about the Benin Bronze statutes looted from what is now Nigeria. Let me ask that another way. How would like if the UK took apart the Lincoln Memorial to display in their museum?

Posted by: Orson at October 22, 2025 01:19 PM (dIske)

450 Since Ole Nappy and the Limeys showed us the way,

Trump should run US Military training exercise on Paris and grab all the stuff in the Louvre then on the way back, stop by London and empty out the British Museum-

For The Trump Presidential Library and Fabulous , Just the Best National Classy Art Museum of America.

Posted by: naturalfake at October 22, 2025 01:19 PM (gH8ss)

451 Feeling like you've been abandoned? You have. Nood.

Posted by: Oddbob at October 22, 2025 01:19 PM (3nLb4)

452 "What I imagine, based on years of study and watching the first four seasons of Leverage, is that the thieves intend to ransom the jewels back to the Louvre."

I think more likely they'll be sold intact to some ultra-rich Arab or Asian who wants them just to say they have them. They won't plan to ever publicly display them.

Posted by: Elric The Blade at October 22, 2025 01:19 PM (iFTx/)

453 Nood North Carolina.

No relation.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at October 22, 2025 01:19 PM (xcxpd)

454 This pleases me. My residuals will skyrocket!
Posted by: Nick Lowe
-------

Cruel to be kind...

Posted by: Crusader at October 22, 2025 01:19 PM (TN0g+)

455 Remember, in Sweden it's not rape if it's quick, according to a judge there.

Out: Rape

In: Unpermitted penising

Posted by: 18-1 at October 22, 2025 01:19 PM (sKqQm)

456 "I am not making excuses. And I agree that the vulnerability is obvious and should have been fixed. I am also saying that human nature is such that people refuse to admit security flaws until it slams them in the face.
Posted by: bob (moron incognitus) at October 22, 2025 01:18 PM (BLqOI)"

That moment happened so long ago it was done and over with before I started in the industry, and *that* was back before I was 29

Posted by: heya at October 22, 2025 01:20 PM (Qa1H2)

457 Jewel is one of the top 3 living voices IMO

Posted by: ... at October 22, 2025 01:13 PM (lonsH)

Jewel who?

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at October 22, 2025 01:20 PM (8zz6B)

458 He was also an activist for the voting rights of black residents of his native city of Baltimore.
____

Times were different back then.

Posted by: Yogi Berra at October 22, 2025 01:20 PM (Dv3i1)

459 Too cheap to have $100,000,000 in jewels insured.
You know, that sounds French

Some things are simply irreplaceable. You buy insurance so you can re-purchase the item that was insured. Where do you go to replace a one-of-a-kind item?

Posted by: Chuck C at October 22, 2025 01:20 PM (0GLZr)

460 They will head to a pawn shop.
Posted by: Boss Moss at October 22, 2025 01:17 PM (sGHnN)

$1500's really the best I can do ...

Posted by: Rick Harrison at October 22, 2025 01:20 PM (RIfpe)

461 That's fair. Like I said, it's messy. That sort of thing is hard to prove. Maybe it's sour grapes, or maybe there really was duress.
Posted by: bonhomme at October 22, 2025 01:18 PM (Yp6az)

I agree with your comment completely.

Posted by: the way I see it at October 22, 2025 01:20 PM (EYmYM)

462 think they had more security for the statue in How to Steal a Million than the Louvre had to protect these jewels.
Posted by: LizLem at October 22, 2025 01:16 PM (gWBY1)

I think there's more security in a Bucees bathroom than they had at that part of the Louvre.

Posted by: Madamemayhem (uppity wench) at October 22, 2025 01:20 PM (2J/Lj)

463
Biden built a fake oval office and the media aren't curious as to why.

Posted by: Frank Barone at October 22, 2025 01:20 PM (IifOV)

464 The head of the Louvre said her mission was to reduce the "elitism" of the Louvre and "democratize" art.

------------------

There those damn "bourgeois values" again!

Posted by: ShainS -- Bury My Heart At a Texas MoMe at October 22, 2025 01:20 PM (uzjGf)

465 It's all guns, boobs and rape gangs with you people.

It's like ICE Capades Prometheus!

Posted by: Commissar of plenty and festive little hats at October 22, 2025 01:21 PM (0zUq5)

466 She was hired for her qualifications:

No experience
Has a vagina
Is not white
Hates western civilization
Is a criminal
Has a vagina

Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Totally Unserious at October 22, 2025 01:21 PM (xvV+O)

467 In: Unpermitted penising
____

You can get permits for that?

Posted by: Chuck Martel at October 22, 2025 01:21 PM (Dv3i1)

468 "439 It's all guns, boobs and rape gangs with you people.
Posted by: ... at October 22, 2025 01:18 PM (lonsH)"

Have you traveled much? That's basically like half the planet.

Some time before it was swords, boobs, and rape gangs.

Posted by: heya at October 22, 2025 01:21 PM (Qa1H2)

469 Marion Maréchal is a 1

Posted by: free tibet with purchase of equal or greater value tibet at October 22, 2025 01:22 PM (iNp3L)

470 Do they want to have a revolution the easier way or the hardest way?"

Posted by: dreamingrobot at October 22, 2025 01:22 PM (EyfuW)

471
How about the Benin Bronze statutes looted from what is now Nigeria. Let me ask that another way. How would like if the UK took apart the Lincoln Memorial to display in their museum?
Posted by: Orson at October 22, 2025 01:19 PM (dIske)

I agree with you but it was at a time when might made right. Do they have anything they took when they burned DC?

Posted by: the way I see it at October 22, 2025 01:23 PM (EYmYM)

472 They will head to a pawn shop.

Hardcore Pawn will offer $50. And a used condom.

Posted by: Commissar of plenty and festive little hats at October 22, 2025 01:23 PM (0zUq5)

473 Guards and TV security cameras would spoil the aesthetic of the Louver. Can't have that.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at October 22, 2025 01:23 PM (XwyaG)

474 >>> Oh, and yeah, the British Museum includes art items stolen from Jews during the Holocaust.

The movie Woman in Gold was really good, about the work to get back the Klimt painting to its rightful owners after the Nazis took it.

And I love after all the hardships to get it back, she turned around and put it in an American museum! To rub it in the faces of the people that denied her her family's painting, while also making sure future generations can see it.

It's at the Neue Galerie in NYC, and it's stunning in person. Definitely the crown jewel of that museum.

Posted by: LizLem at October 22, 2025 01:23 PM (gWBY1)

475 The British series Hustle has several capers centered around audacious thefts. One is involving one of the Crown Jewels taken out of the Tower for a special exhibit.

Season 2 episode 6 Eye of the Beholder.
Worth watching and available on Prime among other places.
Posted by: whig
------
Haven't seen the show, but I have visited the Tower, and exchanged a few words with the Chief Warder. The Beefeaters are not a casual bunch, but all ex-military with long histories and experience.

No doubt 'Hustle' is in the vein of a 'Mission Impossible' style plot, proably a great show, but were there to be an actual confrontation with the Beefeaters, those guys have no sense of humor, and emphatically, the wherewithal to back it up

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at October 22, 2025 01:23 PM (XeU6L)

476 Perks of fame: free designer bags and clothes, and get into any restaurant whenever you want.

But the cons of modern fame don't outweigh the perks.

Posted by: LizLem at October 22, 2025 01:25 PM (gWBY1)

477 There are a lot of muslim/chinese/East European gangs in Europe. It is kind of funny how it worked out -- they cleaned up their own population and made them civilized, and then opened the doors to any criminal who wanted in.

A couple years ago someone stole a 100kg gold coin (I think it was Canadian Maple Leaf) on display in Germany. That is 220 lbs of gold.

Posted by: bob (moron incognitus) at October 22, 2025 01:25 PM (BLqOI)

478 It's at the Neue Galerie in NYC, and it's stunning in person. Definitely the crown jewel of that museum.
Posted by: LizLem

*takes notes*

Any chance they have DEI running security?

Posted by: Crane Operating Thieves at October 22, 2025 01:25 PM (Dv3i1)

479 The head of the Louvre said her mission was to reduce the "elitism" of the Louvre and "democratize" art.
---------

An unbridled sucess, I would say.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at October 22, 2025 01:25 PM (XeU6L)

480 5 Uh oh. Someone's earnings report mist have sucked. Sudden nosedive in the market that I am on the wrong side of.

Dow is down 0.80%

Posted by: free tibet with purchase of equal or greater value tibet at October 22, 2025 01:28 PM (iNp3L)

481 Speaking of theft, their losing the EBT cards and they're not happy.

https://is.gd/Fzp8BRF

Possibly the best reaction.

https://is.gd/aJGQ1t

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Fat, Dumb, and Happy at October 22, 2025 01:29 PM (L/fGl)

482 hmm. i've gotten an e-mail from a nigerian prince who claims that he has inherited the french crown jewels and needs my help to ship them out of the country.

Posted by: anachronda at October 22, 2025 01:34 PM (sGtp+)

483 459 Some things are simply irreplaceable. You buy insurance so you can re-purchase the item that was insured. Where do you go to replace a one-of-a-kind item?

just hook me up to a 3d printer!

Posted by: chatgpt at October 22, 2025 01:37 PM (sGtp+)

484 Buffin- a medium-sized pudding pastry.

Posted by: Eromero at October 22, 2025 01:55 PM (jgmnb)

485 481 Speaking of theft, their losing the EBT cards and they're not happy.

https://is.gd/Fzp8BRF

Possibly the best reaction.

https://is.gd/aJGQ1t
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks,
-----------------------

Fat. All of them are fat.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at October 22, 2025 02:03 PM (XwyaG)

486 CBD was recently in France.

Coincidence?

Posted by: Weasel at October 22, 2025 02:05 PM (EaUHc)

487 > Dominique Buffin, the first woman hired as security chief at the Louvre, was chosen for her gender and not her merits

Cherchez la femme.

Posted by: Scott at October 22, 2025 02:14 PM (kmvkg)

488 "Leverage"? This is a poor man's Hustle, available on Tubi.

Particularly great are the wine episode and the head to head duel.

Posted by: MikeN at October 22, 2025 02:20 PM (HVZOH)

489 This isn't complicated. Hire a guy - maybe an ex-Legionnaire who is comfortable with pulling a trigger - give him an MP5 and tell him "shoot anyone who tries to steal this stuff."

Posted by: PabloD at October 22, 2025 02:22 PM (Fswms)

490 The Louvre stole my password!

Now to read the comments to see which you also stole it.

Posted by: Goatweed at October 22, 2025 03:10 PM (jK3NL)

491 I toss this out there, and I may have been beaten to it because of the number of responses [TLDR]:

If it is found that the thieves and their accomplices were Islamic, in the Islamic Republic of France; a) will the investigation continue, b) if the investigation continues will the thieves be arrested if identified, and c) if arrested will the thieves be prosecuted?

Subotai Bahadur

Posted by: Subotai Bahadur at October 22, 2025 03:16 PM (5JJE/)

492 It's also possible that it was a commissioned theft-- or at least, they'd approached folks about willingness to buy the stuff if successfully stolen. Some billionaire's paramour wearing the stuff occasionally...

Posted by: You're in hell, the world ended at October 22, 2025 03:18 PM (bmpUL)

493 Were the jewels always on display in bright light in easily broken glass displays or was this a new exhibit from the new director and security chief???
Were the security measures the same for this display if it was a long-running exhibit or did they change and who made the changes???
If this exhibit was always this ass-poorly planned with no regard to security, than all the previous security directors are to blame and incompetent - no one thought to improve. Incompetence is an ever-increasing trend in non-serious societies: it knows no difference in the sexes.

Posted by: ChicagoExPat at October 22, 2025 03:20 PM (xOJ6M)

494 385 We all know this won't happen
Posted by: Kevin Canuck at October 22, 2025 12:53 PM (/xmMU)

You any relation to Andy?
-------------------------
My mother is always saying "Why can't you be more of a moron like Andy Canuck"?

Please don't bring that up, too much pain

Posted by: Kevin Canuck at October 22, 2025 03:29 PM (/xmMU)

495 I'd suspect Putin behind this, given the Napoleon connection. Mother Russia carries a grudge.

Posted by: Nathan at October 22, 2025 04:27 PM (uyP11)

496 Clearly Napoleon should have sold those jewels and kept Louisana.

Posted by: Tmitsss at October 22, 2025 07:19 PM (9NOPs)

497 Porno web bieden een verscheidenheid aan video’s voor
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Posted by: BRAND NEW PORN SITE SEX at October 22, 2025 10:34 PM (pZBSQ)

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