Man Arrested for Attempting to Burn Down PA Governor Josh Shapiro's House as He and His Family Slept Inside

Pennsylvania State Police have arrested a Harrisburg man for the arson attack on Gov. Josh Shapiro and his family that sent them fleeing from the governor's residence on the first night of Passover.
Cody Balmer, 38, of Harrisburg, is expected to face charges of attempted murder, terrorism, aggravated arson, and aggravated assault against an enumerated person, authorities said.
Shapiro, who is Jewish, became visibly emotional as he spoke about the 2 a.m. attack on his home as he and his family slept inside.

"If he was trying to terrorize our family, our friends, the Jewish community, who joined us for a Passover Seder in that room last night, hear me on this: We celebrated our faith last night, proudly, and in a few hours, we will celebrate our second Seder of Passover," he said.
The entire home was safely evacuated and no one was injured, Shapiro wrote on X.
Balmer was allegedly carrying homemade incendiary devices when he snuck into the gated compound that is the official residence of the governor by jumping a fence, according to police.
Investigators believe the attack was "targeted," but haven't determined a specific motive, Shapiro said. Police did not release more details on Balmer's actions.

LOL, of course they can't determine the motive.

But they have established that when the guy sought out Josh Shapiro's home, he was "targeting" it. He didn't try to burn down a random structure that turned out to be the governor's residence.

Great job, guys.

While we don't know his motive yet, he sure looks like antifa, as Stephen Green says.

A man named Cody Balmer has been charged with terrorism, attempted murder, aggravated arson and aggravated assault over the April 13 family home arson attack on Pennsylvania Gov. @JoshShapiroPA.

Local authorities have not released a photo of Balmer but I found and verified… pic.twitter.com/IIPVtsbQNK
— Andy Ngo (@MrAndyNgo) April 14, 2025

Posted by: Ace at 03:05 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 1st

Posted by: WisRich at April 14, 2025 03:06 PM (G0vdT)

2 2nd

Posted by: m at April 14, 2025 03:07 PM (CQE5S)

3 2nd?

Posted by: bearski at April 14, 2025 03:07 PM (Bhsk7)

4 doh

Posted by: bearski at April 14, 2025 03:07 PM (Bhsk7)

5 En fuego!

Posted by: That Guy who shouts "En fuego!" at April 14, 2025 03:07 PM (0sNs1)

6 Hola

Posted by: Thanatopsis at April 14, 2025 03:07 PM (GYt5+)

7 dude is definitely a lefty wack job

crazy stuff! could have been related to him losing his house or that could be cover for one of their murderbots going a bit rogue

Posted by: Black Orchid at April 14, 2025 03:08 PM (Pv3Rg)

8 Mostly peaceful.

Posted by: Thomas Paine at April 14, 2025 03:08 PM (lTGtQ)

9 If he's a conservative, I'm Charo.

Posted by: The_Hoser at April 14, 2025 03:08 PM (f4jia)

10 total MAGA...sure

Posted by: DanMan at April 14, 2025 03:08 PM (8uzBS)

11 I like how the police won't admit he used Molotov cocktails to start the fire

Posted by: Black Orchid at April 14, 2025 03:08 PM (Pv3Rg)

12 FIRST!!!!!

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at April 14, 2025 03:08 PM (Zz0t1)

13 14 Whoa. Former LSU receiver Kyren Lacy has died at age 24 in an apparent suicide in his car while being pursued by authorities in Houston, according to a Harrison County sheriff’s report.

Posted by: Grump928(C) repeats himself at April 14, 2025 01:53 PM (jc0TO)

Posted by: m at April 14, 2025 03:08 PM (CQE5S)

14 Damn right wing extremists!

This NEVER happens on the left!

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at April 14, 2025 03:08 PM (Zz0t1)

15 he's an anarchist, Antifa type

Posted by: Black Orchid at April 14, 2025 03:08 PM (Pv3Rg)

16 Anti-semite Trantifa tries to immolate a prominent family of Jews. This'll disappear from the national news faster than Nancy Pelosi's husband's DUI.

Posted by: bonhomme at April 14, 2025 03:09 PM (lIio7)

17
He's a hero! With high morals!
So is the guy in Butler, PA from the last thread!

Posted by: Taylor Lorenz at April 14, 2025 03:09 PM (0ITUC)

18 Is the Governor's house owned by the state?

Posted by: Bulg at April 14, 2025 03:09 PM (77rzZ)

19 Trump needs to designate antifa as a domestic terrorist organization.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at April 14, 2025 03:09 PM (YqDXo)

20 > If he's a conservative, I'm Charo.

Shake your maracas, baby!

Posted by: bonhomme at April 14, 2025 03:10 PM (lIio7)

21 Until I hear this guy has beef with the joos or passover, I am presuming this is a garden variety blue-on-blue circle jerk.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at April 14, 2025 03:10 PM (RIvkX)

22 Of course there's selfies.

Posted by: eleven at April 14, 2025 03:10 PM (0HaGk)

23 Supposedly he is literally a member of the Socialist party USA and a huge lefty. Almost certainly a member of the anti-Israel pro HAMAS "protesters" and Antifa.

Odd how people keep expecting these guys to be nazi MAGA types and they keep being lefties.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 14, 2025 03:10 PM (ehZkr)

24 Is it any wonder why Josh Shapiro was Passed Over for VP?

Posted by: ShainS -- On Democracies and Death Cults at April 14, 2025 03:10 PM (XJooS)

25 Never trust an anarchist who wears a uniform.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at April 14, 2025 03:10 PM (W5ArC)

26 The Democrats flirting with terrorism and political violence almost burns one of their own.

None of them will learn any lessons, though.

Posted by: Formerly Virginian at April 14, 2025 03:11 PM (N1tpc)

27 15 14 Whoa. Former LSU receiver Kyren Lacy has died at age 24 in an apparent suicide in his car while being pursued by authorities in Houston, according to a Harrison County sheriff’s report.

Posted by: Grump928(C) repeats himself at April 14, 2025 01:53 PM (jc0TO)

Posted by: m at April 14, 2025 03:08 PM (CQE5S)

---

Yes, this is the POS who killed a 78-year-old in a hit-and-run and didn't even see if he could help the victim.

Good riddance.

Posted by: The_Hoser at April 14, 2025 03:11 PM (f4jia)

28 They sure do target some weird Nahtzees don't they?

Cody Balmer, a Failed Napalmer

Posted by: haffhowershower at April 14, 2025 03:11 PM (NMT5x)

29 Taylor Lorenz called and said she got figuratively moist upon seeing his picture.

She hasn't been able to self-moisten in about 40 years.

Posted by: BurtTC at April 14, 2025 03:11 PM (dGCAG)

30 A news article I read earlier today state that the loon turned himself in. Cultists don't do that, they race back to Hive HQ for new orders.

Posted by: mrp at April 14, 2025 03:11 PM (rj6Yv)

31 I feel bad for Shapiro's family in the wake of the attack. But not Shapiro himself. Fuck him. He's a self-gasser who nurtured and encouraged the very leftwing violence that turned against him.

If this Balmer scumbag -- who may be Jewish himself -- firebombed some rightwing guy's home, Shapiro would at most make some tepid non-condemnation of it.

I got no problem with lefty assholes getting some of their own shit blown back in their faces. In fact, I want more.

Posted by: Elric Blade at April 14, 2025 03:11 PM (iFTx/)

32 15 14 Whoa. Former LSU receiver Kyren Lacy has died at age 24 in an apparent suicide in his car while being pursued by authorities in Houston, according to a Harrison County sheriff’s report.

Posted by: Grump928(C)
-----

Wasn't he up for some serious penitentiary time?

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at April 14, 2025 03:11 PM (AneyV)

33 In a certain definitive sense, we can never know the exact, specific motivations someone has for any act, but it does not take a Hercule Poirot to identify this guy's primary intent in burning the home of a prominent Jewish governor on Passover.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 14, 2025 03:11 PM (ehZkr)

34 22 > If he's a conservative, I'm Charo.

Shake your maracas, baby!

Posted by: bonhomme at April 14, 2025 03:10 PM (lIio7)

---

MAACA - Make America Coochi Coochi Again!

Posted by: The_Hoser at April 14, 2025 03:12 PM (f4jia)

35 Odd how ~~people~~ leftists keep ~~expecting~~ hoping these guys to be nazi MAGA types and they keep being lefties.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 14, 2025 03:10 PM (ehZkr)

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at April 14, 2025 03:12 PM (YqDXo)

36 from one report, his parents said that he was off his meds and acting erratically and they were unable to get any help in dealing with him from the state.

Posted by: Kindltot at April 14, 2025 03:12 PM (D7oie)

37 Def looks like a creepy antifa type. Ugly MOFO

Posted by: Hatari somewhere on Ventura Highway at April 14, 2025 03:12 PM (NtVYv)

38 Yes, this is the POS who killed a 78-year-old in a hit-and-run and didn't even see if he could help the victim.

Good riddance.
Posted by: The_Hoser at April 14, 2025 03:11 PM (f4jia)

So he fumbled an attempted pass?

Posted by: BurtTC at April 14, 2025 03:12 PM (dGCAG)

39 Not sure what to think about this one yet. I've seen reports/rumors that this guy had had his house seized by eminent domain recently. Maybe he was a "soveigrn citizen" type too.

So maybe not leftist. On the other hand: looks like one, acted like one. He confessed, apparently, and they haven't said what his motive was so "silence = leftist" is the standard thing there.

Since it's not being front page news, likely leftist.

Posted by: SimoHayha at April 14, 2025 03:13 PM (qXL9c)

40 The would be assassin who loved the Nazi's had his interests/beliefs released immediately.

Posted by: Dr Spank at April 14, 2025 03:13 PM (NNMcJ)

41 Shapiro is a piece of crap but burning out someone's home is bad no matter who they are. His biggest mistake is being a Jewish lefty, because his own side wants him dead just for being so.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 14, 2025 03:13 PM (ehZkr)

42 > nazi MAGA

Contradiction in terms. The Nazis were socialists.

Nazis are only "right wing" if you are Stalin.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at April 14, 2025 03:13 PM (W5ArC)

43 20 Is the Governor's house owned by the state?

yes

its our governor's mansion, Shapiro doesn't own it

so this sucks

where was the security?!?!

Posted by: Black Orchid at April 14, 2025 03:14 PM (Pv3Rg)

44 For shame. He's old enough to be Taylor Lorenz' grandson.

Posted by: Thomas Paine at April 14, 2025 03:14 PM (lTGtQ)

45 38 from one report, his parents said that he was off his meds and acting erratically and they were unable to get any help in dealing with him from the state.

Posted by: Kindltot at April 14, 2025 03:12 PM (D7oie)

---

So they should have beaten him unconscious, tied him up and thrown him in the basement until they could get help.

You know your kid's a POS. Handle him, or someone else will get hurt.

Posted by: The_Hoser at April 14, 2025 03:14 PM (f4jia)

46 "The suspect in the arson that occurred at the Governor’s Residence on 04/13/25 has been identified as Cody A. Balmer, 03/23/1987, of Harrisburg, PA. He was taken into custody without incident and charged through Magisterial District Court 12-1-02, Harrisburg. Due to a medical event not connected to this incident or his arrest, Balmer was transported to an area hospital where he is currently receiving treatment. He remains under PSP supervision and will be transported to the Dauphin County Prison for arraignment upon his release."

Stay with WGAL for updates on this developing story.

Off his meds.

Posted by: L - No nic, adores Musk and Miller at April 14, 2025 03:14 PM (NFX2v)

47 Tony Segura on X runs an outfit that tracks mobile devices via GPS. Tony has Goon Boy in attendance at Harris rallies, Antifa events and supporting Palestine protests.
Goon Boy is a hard core lefty. They added ter terrorist the designation on his charges. I think that makes it Federal but not sure.
Goon Boy goin down.
The State Police were guarding the Gov Mansion at the time of the assault..

Posted by: I was Gumby Damn It! now I'm not. at April 14, 2025 03:14 PM (Synww)

48 We may never know.

Posted by: ... at April 14, 2025 03:14 PM (Bvf7c)

49 Yes, this is the POS who killed a 78-year-old in a hit-and-run and didn't even see if he could help the victim.

Good riddance.
Posted by: The_Hoser at April 14, 2025 03:11 PM (f4jia)

So he fumbled an attempted pass?
Posted by: BurtTC at April 14, 2025 03:12 PM (dGCAG)
_______

Then he got into an argument with a female relative, threatened her with a gun, and then fired it (apparently into the ground). That's what the cops were chasing him for when he offed himself. Real top citizen, this guy.

Posted by: Elric Blade at April 14, 2025 03:14 PM (iFTx/)

50 When you leave the front door open for passing Prophets...this can happen.

Happy Pesach to the Moron Horde, btw.

Posted by: garrett at April 14, 2025 03:14 PM (X1wUG)

51 Yes, he looks like an antifa type, who just got carried away this time.

Posted by: PJ at April 14, 2025 03:15 PM (RRCAT)

52 "Enumerated person" Josh Shapiro. Had to look it up.

From Sefton's MR:

Cody Balmer, 38, of Harrisburg, is expected to face charges of attempted murder, terrorism, aggravated arson, and aggravated assault against an enumerated person, authorities said. Shapiro, who is Jewish, became visibly emotional as he spoke about the 2 a.m. attack on his home as he and his family slept inside

Posted by: Martini Farmer at April 14, 2025 03:15 PM (Q4IgG)

53
lulz, speaking of taylor lorenz 3's and Liar in the Fake News....

You see this latest bullshit from CNN and some ugly fake "journalist" from the gay fake news magazine for gay men GQ? She pretends she "dated" "right wing" "men" and "reports" what she pretends she "discovered."

I cued it up to the best part, no need to watch more than 30 seconds:

https://is.gd/gUl8GT

Posted by: Soothsayer at April 14, 2025 03:15 PM (KFMfO)

54
The calls from every news outlet of every Republican to to condemn this arson will be deafening.

Posted by: Frank Barone at April 14, 2025 03:15 PM (IifOV)

55 Just another "fiery but peaceful protest" as CNN would say.

Posted by: People's Hippo Voice at April 14, 2025 03:15 PM (3RBdd)

56 He don't need no stinkin' motive (MFM)

Posted by: Elrond Hubbard at April 14, 2025 03:15 PM (9INg6)

57
While we don't know his motive yet, he sure looks like antifa, as Stephen Green says.

--------

Was he wearing women's underwear?

Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at April 14, 2025 03:15 PM (iTNuP)

58 I'm actually surprised there haven't been more attacks like this. I'm still expecting pro Hamas suicide bombers, but I guess you have to live in shit hole places to be that committed. The Penn leftist figures he had nothing after the house was foreclosed

Posted by: Smell the Glove at April 14, 2025 03:16 PM (6TePA)

59 Charo is still alive.

Hard to say how old she is. According to her, she was born in 1941, 1947, 1949, or 1951.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at April 14, 2025 03:16 PM (W5ArC)

60 The State Police were guarding the Gov Mansion at the time of the assault..

great job, asshats

Posted by: Black Orchid at April 14, 2025 03:16 PM (Pv3Rg)

61 Maybe the brisket was too dry.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at April 14, 2025 03:16 PM (RIvkX)

62 Yes, this is the POS who killed a 78-year-old in a hit-and-run and didn't even see if he could help the victim.

Good riddance.
Posted by: The_Hoser at April 14, 2025 03:11 PM (f4jia)

So he fumbled an attempted pass?
Posted by: BurtTC at April 14, 2025 03:12 PM (dGCAG)

He ran a Pick Six (revolver to the head)

Posted by: haffhowershower at April 14, 2025 03:16 PM (NMT5x)

63 Heard the Jewells45 has passed away.

Snail Dancer and her husband were her last visitors.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at April 14, 2025 03:16 PM (u82oZ)

64 Jewish leftism is one of those Universal mysteries, like the clitoris.

Posted by: eleven at April 14, 2025 03:17 PM (0HaGk)

65 So crazy. We pay enough taxes here in PA that one would expect an armed guard 24-7 around the governor mansion or at least freaking electronic surveillance that detects body heat

Posted by: kallisto at April 14, 2025 03:17 PM (dCxaZ)

66 So they should have beaten him unconscious, tied him up and thrown him in the basement until they could get help.

You know your kid's a POS. Handle him, or someone else will get hurt.
Posted by: The_Hoser
---
Outstanding security there, yes?

Newsweek, 'Failed Security at Josh Shapiro's Home Under Scrutiny After Fire Attack' Published Apr 14, 2025

Posted by: L - No nic, adores Musk and Miller at April 14, 2025 03:17 PM (NFX2v)

67
While we don't know his motive yet, he sure looks like antifa, as Stephen Green says.

------

Is he a registered sex offender?

Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at April 14, 2025 03:17 PM (iTNuP)

68 >>>His biggest mistake is being a Jewish lefty, because his own side wants him dead just for being so.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor
---

Really?

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at April 14, 2025 03:17 PM (AneyV)

69 oh no

oh no oh no oh no

Posted by: Black Orchid at April 14, 2025 03:17 PM (Pv3Rg)

70
from one report, his parents said that he was off his meds and acting erratically and they were unable to get any help in dealing with him from the state.
Posted by: Kindltot

=============

Oh man, if that's the case, and he's legit schizophrenic, this is rough. We can't lock up crazies in this country until they threaten or perpetrate violence. All the while, people helplessly watch loved ones spiral.

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at April 14, 2025 03:17 PM (+KY4Y)

71 >>Hard to say how old she is. According to her, she was born in 1941, 1947, 1949, or 1951.

She doesn't look a day over 29!

Posted by: garrett at April 14, 2025 03:17 PM (X1wUG)

72 Charles C. W. Cooke retweeted
Carl
@HistoryBoomer
6h
Murdering an insurance executive is evil.

Trying to assassinate President Trump is evil.

Trying to burn Governor Shapiro and his family is evil.

We must all agree on these basic moral values

Posted by: m at April 14, 2025 03:17 PM (CQE5S)

73 so this sucks

where was the security?!?!
Posted by: Black Orchid at April 14, 2025 03:14 PM (Pv3Rg)

They were there. -After- the attack, they raced to the Gov's bedroom, woke him up, and got him and the Shapiro family out of the mansion.

Posted by: mrp at April 14, 2025 03:17 PM (rj6Yv)

74 I cued it up to the best part, no need to watch more than 30 seconds

Yeah um, she claims to be in her 30s but she looks much older. I doubt she was on 2 dates with anyone on the right. But hey, it makes for a story that gets her a lot of attention.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 14, 2025 03:17 PM (ehZkr)

75 I worked in Harrisburg for a few months.

I am very sorry. But I did not enjoy it.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at April 14, 2025 03:17 PM (RIvkX)

76 Before seeing Andy Ngo's photos, which are obviously of an Antifa f@g, what revulsed me were Shapiro's statements that (1) implied he was a victim of antisemitism and (2) 'all political violence from all sides!' should be condemned. For #2, can't Trump or Steve Miller or someone do a press conference with a ledger of 'acts of political violence' (including murders and attempted murder) with one column for Dems and one for Repubs and see if the Repubs have any after listing 20+ for the Dems? Maybe put Bubba Wallace and Juicy Sommelier and Repubs then say "Oops, forgot!" and cross them out in red with an arrow back towards the Dem column? Then look at the camera and tell Shapiro to shut up and denounce Dem-driven violence or embrace his chickens coming home to roost because Dem militants see Jews as the oppressors who need to be attacked...

And I was half-hoping the attacker was a Jew furious at Shapiro for selling out Jews (millions to the Philly imam who denounced all Jews, otherwise just siding with Hamas-defending Dems, etc.). But Andy Ngo's photos kinda quash that possibility...

Posted by: bearski at April 14, 2025 03:17 PM (Bhsk7)

77 Daily Mail said he was a Bernie fan and was mad that his house had been foreclosed, as he has five kids (not certain he is married to any of the mothers.) Mentally ill as well but that seems par for leftists.

An update to our pastor issue: We spoke up with our concerns at the search committee meeting, and were pooh poohed as judgmental. A background check on the five pastorates the candidate didn't include in his CV came up with five supervisors who used the words "unethical" and "immoral" to describe him and his work for the church. I don't want to say we feel vindicated, but I feel better about my gut instinct.

Posted by: Moki at April 14, 2025 03:17 PM (wLjpr)

78 I immediately thought antisemitic leftist(is there any other kind?)

Posted by: steevy at April 14, 2025 03:18 PM (KQk9m)

79 Sorry to hear that about Jewells.

That sucks.

Posted by: eleven at April 14, 2025 03:18 PM (0HaGk)

80 Given that he was caught quickly you can tell the FBI was not involved.

Posted by: Field Marshal Zhukov at April 14, 2025 03:18 PM (wBaIH)

81 Heard the Jewells45 has passed away.

Snail Dancer and her husband were her last visitors.
Posted by: NaCly Dog at April 14, 2025 03:16 PM (u82oZ)

This makes me incredibly sad.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at April 14, 2025 03:18 PM (Zz0t1)

82 its our governor's mansion, Shapiro doesn't own it

so this sucks

where was the security?!?!
Posted by: Black Orchid at April 14, 2025 03:14 PM (Pv3Rg)

No security. The roof was sloped.

Posted by: BurtTC at April 14, 2025 03:18 PM (dGCAG)

83
Posted by: NaCly Dog

=============

Oh dear. RIP, Jewells.

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at April 14, 2025 03:18 PM (+KY4Y)

84 > While we don't know his motive yet, he sure looks like antifa, as Stephen Green says.

Kyle Rittenhouse is never around when you really need him.

To be fair, there's only one of him, and way too many communists.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at April 14, 2025 03:18 PM (W5ArC)

85 Radical embroidery

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at April 14, 2025 03:18 PM (63Dwl)

86 We must all agree on these basic moral values
Posted by: m at April 14, 2025 03:17 PM (CQE5S)
====

Says who?
-About half the country and most of their imported replacements

Posted by: San Franpsycho at April 14, 2025 03:18 PM (RIvkX)

87 what revulsed me were Shapiro's statements that (1) implied he was a victim of antisemitism and (2) 'all political violence from all sides!' should be condemned.

oh then avoid RINO Dave McCormick's BS essay the Free Press ran

very both-sides-y

Posted by: Black Orchid at April 14, 2025 03:19 PM (Pv3Rg)

88 Heard the Jewells45 has passed away.

No

I am with ACE here, STOP DYING. Damn it.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 14, 2025 03:19 PM (ehZkr)

89 > 81 Heard the Jewells45 has passed away.

Snail Dancer and her husband were her last visitors.
Posted by: NaCly Dog at April 14, 2025 03:16 PM (u82oZ)

Oh, man.... :-(

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at April 14, 2025 03:19 PM (W5ArC)

90 Yeah um, she claims to be in her 30s but she looks much older. I doubt she was on 2 dates with anyone on the right. But hey, it makes for a story that gets her a lot of attention.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 14, 2025 03:17 PM (ehZkr)

Money quote: "Far right men in New York City???"

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at April 14, 2025 03:19 PM (Zz0t1)

91 He don't need no stinkin' motive (MFM)

Posted by: Elrond Hubbard at April 14, 2025 03:15 PM (9INg6)

------------------

"Murdering Jews -- like assassinating Trump, Musk, Vance, et. al.-- IS A LEGITIMATE MOTIVE, H8R!"

-- MOAR MDM-MSM Progda Enemedia Propagandist Sycophantic Whoring

Posted by: ShainS -- On Democracies and Death Cults at April 14, 2025 03:19 PM (XJooS)

92 Goon Boys home was recently confiscated bt the State of PA. This could be the motive OR when the Gov did a photo op with Zelenskyy autographing bombs to be dropped on Russia.

Posted by: I was Gumby Damn It! now I'm not. at April 14, 2025 03:19 PM (Synww)

93 Hey Charlie I don't see anyone on the right celebrating this (and if there were on X they were likely false flag)

Posted by: steevy at April 14, 2025 03:20 PM (KQk9m)

94 lulz, speaking of taylor lorenz 3's and Liar in the Fake News....

You see this latest bullshit from CNN and some ugly fake "journalist" from the gay fake news magazine for gay men GQ? She pretends she "dated" "right wing" "men" and "reports" what she pretends she "discovered."

I cued it up to the best part, no need to watch more than 30 seconds:

https://is.gd/gUl8GT
Posted by: Soothsayer at April 14, 2025 03:15 PM (KFMfO)
__________

LOLOL. She dated "far right men" ... in New York City. Yea ok. And there's no way this whore is 35. Maybe 55.

Posted by: Elric Blade at April 14, 2025 03:20 PM (iFTx/)

95 So crazy. We pay enough taxes here in PA that one would expect an armed guard 24-7 around the governor mansion or at least freaking electronic surveillance that detects body heat
Posted by: kallisto at April 14, 2025 03:17 PM (dCxaZ)

DOGE is proving that this is not where tax money goes. It goes into peoples' pockets and then there is not enough tax revenue to pay for essential services.

Posted by: Kindltot at April 14, 2025 03:20 PM (D7oie)

96 Very Sorry to hear this news

Praise hashem the true judge.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at April 14, 2025 03:20 PM (RIvkX)

97 Hard to say how old she is. According to her, she was born in 1941, 1947, 1949, or 1951.

Are we talking about Charo or Taylor Lorenz here?

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 14, 2025 03:20 PM (ehZkr)

98 59 Charo is still alive.

Hard to say how old she is. According to her, she was born in 1941, 1947, 1949, or 1951.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia
-------

Xavier's music may have been corny but his taste in women was superb.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at April 14, 2025 03:20 PM (AneyV)

99 I will remain thankful that I was able to give Jewells multiple hugs at the TxMoMe.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at April 14, 2025 03:20 PM (Zz0t1)

100
So I guess if you're an enumerated person, that makes you just a number.
Posted by: Oh, no. Math

You don't count.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at April 14, 2025 03:20 PM (63Dwl)

101 setting fire to an occupied structure used to be an automatic 1st degree felony, IIRC.

Except when it was the mostly peaceful St. Floyd of Fentanyl rioters burning occupied businesses.

Then, it was "they need room to destroy."

Posted by: People's Hippo Voice at April 14, 2025 03:20 PM (3RBdd)

102 We're known for our security.

See Butler PA, and The attempted assassination of Donald Trump in Pennsylvania.
(Wikipedia.)

Posted by: L - No nic, adores Musk and Miller at April 14, 2025 03:21 PM (NFX2v)

103 > She pretends she "dated" "right wing" "men"

So does she offer a discount off her regular hourly rate if you're "dating" her?

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at April 14, 2025 03:21 PM (W5ArC)

104 Nice to see Cody get out from his mom's basement and do something with his time for a change instead of smoking weed all day and playing video games.

Posted by: Monster Child's Neighbor at April 14, 2025 03:21 PM (z/JFO)

105 Balmer was allegedly carrying homemade incendiary devices when he snuck into the gated compound that is the official residence of the governor

Hey, when life gives you psychos, make psychotic terrorists.

Posted by: The Democrat Psychiatric Industry at April 14, 2025 03:22 PM (hnMW+)

106 He was just an excitable boy.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at April 14, 2025 03:22 PM (Zz0t1)

107 > And there's no way this whore is 35. Maybe 55.
Posted by: Elric Blade at April 14, 2025 03:20 PM (iFTx/)

I'd believe 35. It's not just the year that counts. It's the mileage.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at April 14, 2025 03:22 PM (W5ArC)

108 G-d has taken his daughter Jewells home and made all things new again.

Posted by: Ben Had at April 14, 2025 03:22 PM (yp8Vj)

109 I just sent jewells a card 2 weeks ago.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at April 14, 2025 03:22 PM (RIvkX)

110 Heard the Jewells45 has passed away.

Snail Dancer and her husband were her last visitors.
Posted by: NaCly Dog

That is so sad. My wife has some of her jewelry. RIP, Jewells.

Posted by: Bulg at April 14, 2025 03:23 PM (77rzZ)

111 I think I'll go cry in my garden for a while.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at April 14, 2025 03:23 PM (RIvkX)

112 Then he got into an argument with a female relative, threatened her with a gun, and then fired it (apparently into the ground). That's what the cops were chasing him for when he offed himself. Real top citizen, this guy.
Posted by: Elric Blade at April 14, 2025 03:14 PM (iFTx/)

His vehicular homicide trial was set to start this week too. I believe.

Posted by: BruceWayne at April 14, 2025 03:23 PM (MGB5H)

113 The usual story of lefty women dating right wing men is "damn they are so masculine and made me feel feminine" not "they are a bunch of liars who secretly all agree with me."

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 14, 2025 03:23 PM (ehZkr)

114 RIP Jewells

Posted by: steevy at April 14, 2025 03:23 PM (KQk9m)

115 We will never know the motive. Just like when muzzies shoot up gay nightclubs. Total mystery.

Posted by: Its Go Time Donald at April 14, 2025 03:24 PM (DKKgv)

116 Hopefully, she makes the sidebar.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at April 14, 2025 03:24 PM (Zz0t1)

117 DOGE staffer given green light by judge to access Treasury systems
Judge Jeannette A. Vargas says Ryan Wunderly must complete “proper training” and submit a financial disclosure form before accessing Bureau of Fiscal Services payment systems.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at April 14, 2025 03:24 PM (AneyV)

118 I don't see what the big deal is.

The property was insured, right?

And that means that there was no crime.

And you're not seriously valuing social justice over property are you?

This is all what we were told barely 5 years ago.

Posted by: People's Hippo Voice at April 14, 2025 03:24 PM (3RBdd)

119
Starting now:

President Trump welcomes college football champs, OSU:

https://is.gd/1bBTpU

Posted by: Soothsayer at April 14, 2025 03:24 PM (T5bax)

120 Meh. I've been reliably informed that assassinations and arson are just part and parcel of Our Democracy. My field o'fucks lies barren, like Taylor Lorenz's ancient womb.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at April 14, 2025 03:24 PM (y+qgR)

121 Rest in peace, Jewells. Our loss is Heaven’s gain.
.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 14, 2025 03:24 PM (u73oe)

122 RIP Jewells. I've got a number of her pieces, they are all beautiful. Very sad.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at April 14, 2025 03:24 PM (WPL6O)

123 63 Heard the Jewells45 has passed away.
Posted by: NaCly Dog

I didn't know Jewells45 but I'm so sorry about her passing. She certainly was brave and fought a good, long battle.

My sincere condolences to her family and good friends.
May she rest in peace. 🙏🕯

Posted by: L - No nic, adores Musk and Miller at April 14, 2025 03:25 PM (NFX2v)

124 In happier news, a second death sentence by firing squad was carried out in SC.

Although some outlets didn't mention it, the killer shot and then burned a cop to death and also murdered a shopkeeper the day before. A lot of concern whether the killer suffered when executed.

Posted by: Field Marshal Zhukov at April 14, 2025 03:25 PM (wBaIH)

125 Yeah um, she claims to be in her 30s but she looks much older. I doubt she was on 2 dates with anyone on the right. But hey, it makes for a story that gets her a lot of attention.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 14, 2025 03:17 PM (ehZkr)

Money quote: "Far right men in New York City???"
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at April 14, 2025 03:19 PM (Zz0t1)
______

There are a few of us. But none of us would touch that toxic haggert with a 10-foot pole. There were no dates, she made the whole thing up. Where's the video? The audio? It's so easy to get undercover "sting" video now, and she has none? Fuck off.

Posted by: Elric Blade at April 14, 2025 03:25 PM (iFTx/)

126 RIP Jewells.

Posted by: BruceWayne at April 14, 2025 03:25 PM (MGB5H)

127 We've lost Jewells? RIP dear lady.

Posted by: Northernlurker , Maple Syrup MAGA at April 14, 2025 03:26 PM (kTd/k)

128 Yowza. I didn't realize the fire was as extensive as this.

http://tiny.cc/qsjg001

Shapiro and family are very fortunate to have survived.

Posted by: bonhomme at April 14, 2025 03:26 PM (lIio7)

129 Oh, no! Jewels passed away? Prayers up for family and loved ones.

Posted by: bonhomme at April 14, 2025 03:27 PM (lIio7)

130 And there's no way this whore is 35. Maybe 55.
Posted by: Elric Blade at April 14, 2025 03:20 PM (iFTx/)

I'd believe 35. It's not just the year that counts. It's the mileage.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at April 14, 2025 03:22 PM (W5ArC)
______

Possibly, but the very heavy video filtering usually indicates an effort to appear much younger than claimed. She practically looks like an anime character.

Posted by: Elric Blade at April 14, 2025 03:27 PM (iFTx/)

131 May The Lord welcome her into his Kingdom with open arms.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at April 14, 2025 03:27 PM (Zz0t1)

132 RIP Jewells.

May the Good Lord grant her family and friends comfort and peace in this time of loss. May her memory bring happiness to their lives.

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at April 14, 2025 03:27 PM (VNX3d)

133 Heard the Jewells45 has passed away.

Snail Dancer and her husband were her last visitors.
Posted by: NaCly Dog

Oh no. That's incredibly sad.

Posted by: Tuna at April 14, 2025 03:27 PM (lJ0H4)

134 *Jewells

Posted by: bonhomme at April 14, 2025 03:27 PM (lIio7)

135 RIP Jewels

Posted by: naturalfake at April 14, 2025 03:27 PM (iJfKG)

136 > 106 He was just an excitable boy.
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at April 14, 2025 03:22 PM (Zz0t1)

He came to the Seder in his Shabbat best
Excitable boy, they all said.
And used the horseradish grater
On all of the guests
Excitable boy, they all said.

Well, he's just an excitable boy.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at April 14, 2025 03:28 PM (W5ArC)

137 His property was recently auctioned for back taxes. This cannot be dismissed.

Posted by: Jeff Weimer at April 14, 2025 03:28 PM (zrlyb)

138 RIP Jewells, God bless

Posted by: Smell the Glove at April 14, 2025 03:28 PM (6TePA)

139
Jewells passed?

Then Jewells is in Heaven, with no pain, rescuing and loving animals.

Posted by: Soothsayer at April 14, 2025 03:28 PM (OapjC)

140 Hopefully, she makes the sidebar.
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at April 14, 2025 03:24 PM (Zz0t1)

I'm sure she will. Unfortunately, it makes the absent name that much more conspicuous.

Posted by: BurtTC at April 14, 2025 03:29 PM (dGCAG)

141 His property was recently auctioned for back taxes. This cannot be dismissed.
Posted by: Jeff Weimer at April 14, 2025 03:28 PM (zrlyb)

He's the victim in all this.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at April 14, 2025 03:29 PM (Zz0t1)

142 A mostly peaceful arson.
- CNN

Posted by: Its Go Time Donald at April 14, 2025 03:29 PM (DKKgv)

143 Prayers for Jewells and her loved ones.

Posted by: Dr Spank at April 14, 2025 03:29 PM (NNMcJ)

144 Yeah, that broad had dates with conservative men.

Ten minutes into the dat:

Holy shit, lady, you’re a fuckin lunatic. Check please!

Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 14, 2025 03:29 PM (u73oe)

145 The usual story of lefty women dating right wing men is "damn they are so masculine and made me feel feminine" not "they are a bunch of liars who secretly all agree with me."
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 14, 2025 03:23 PM (ehZkr)
_____

Yea, the whole "insecure" angle from this frothy THOT seems faked because 99% of the time liberal women are whining just the opposite, that righty guys are overly secure to the point of being toxic and domineering.

Posted by: Elric Blade at April 14, 2025 03:29 PM (iFTx/)

146 While we don't know his motive yet, he sure looks like antifa, as Stephen Green says.

------

Is he a registered sex offender?
Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at April 14, 2025 03:17 PM (iTNuP)

What does he smell like?

Posted by: Northernlurker , Maple Syrup MAGA at April 14, 2025 03:29 PM (kTd/k)

147 Yowza. I didn't realize the fire was as extensive as this.

Yeah the initial reports made it sound like he lit a bush on fire or something, but at least a few rooms were really gutted.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 14, 2025 03:29 PM (ehZkr)

148 RIP Jewells45. We will never forget you.

Posted by: Jeff Weimer at April 14, 2025 03:30 PM (zrlyb)

149 @137

>>His property was recently auctioned for back taxes. This cannot be dismissed.

Laying bare the hard truth that you one jack squat nothing so long as you have to pay the state their vig.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at April 14, 2025 03:31 PM (XV/Pl)

150 When the FNM was hinting this guy was actually a right wing white supremacist they were very clear he did it because of Trump.

But now...? I guess we'll never get to know this man's motive...

Posted by: 18-1 at April 14, 2025 03:31 PM (t0Rmr)

151 Then Jewells is in Heaven, with no pain, rescuing and loving animals.

Our loss though. I am getting real tired of losing family and friends. I guess that's kind of selfish too. God be with her family.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 14, 2025 03:31 PM (ehZkr)

152 RIP Jewells and Fuck Cancer

Posted by: Elric Blade at April 14, 2025 03:31 PM (iFTx/)

153 RIP Jewells, God bless

Got dusty in here.

Posted by: Commissar of plenty and festive little hats at April 14, 2025 03:31 PM (6PfSR)

154 RIP Jewells45

Posted by: 18-1 at April 14, 2025 03:31 PM (t0Rmr)

155 Yea, the whole "insecure" angle from this frothy THOT seems faked because 99% of the time liberal women are whining just the opposite, that righty guys are overly secure to the point of being toxic and domineering.
Posted by: Elric Blade at April 14, 2025 03:29 PM (iFTx/)

I'm sure there are plenty of guys who lean right, who keep it to themselves when dating these chicks, who may or may not be overly vocal in their leftist nonsense.

The guy keeps his politics to himself, bangs her, then walks away, having gotten all he ever wanted from her.

Posted by: BurtTC at April 14, 2025 03:32 PM (dGCAG)

156 Didn't realize that Jewells45 has passed. Wouldn't have been yukking it up if I'd known one of our best was gone.

Posted by: Field Marshal Zhukov at April 14, 2025 03:32 PM (wBaIH)

157 {{{Jewells}}}

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea, Radioactive Knight, Concertina Czar at April 14, 2025 03:32 PM (6K6Eu)

158 CNN:

3. Left residence and escaped.
Balmer was inside the governor's residence for less than one minute and "actively evaded" troopers searching for him. Security footages observed Balmer leaving the property and same way he entered over the fence.

Posted by: L - No nic, adores Musk and Miller at April 14, 2025 03:32 PM (NFX2v)

159 Every single act of political violence is left wing. Without exception. Yet the medias narrative is right wing extremism is the most dangerous thing to the country right now.

No matter how much you hate them…

Posted by: Its Go Time Donald at April 14, 2025 03:32 PM (DKKgv)

160 I just had a friend die. Cancer sucks.

Posted by: Northernlurker , Maple Syrup MAGA at April 14, 2025 03:33 PM (kTd/k)

161 Balmer probably figured "it's Passover, the gov will be home". Terrorism, whether anti semitic or not.

Posted by: Smell the Glove at April 14, 2025 03:33 PM (6TePA)

162 We need to bring back allodial title.

Feudalism has been dead for centuries. Time to drive a stake into the heart of the stinking corpse that is fee simple.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at April 14, 2025 03:33 PM (W5ArC)

163 By the way, they went ahead and cast that black dude for Snape in the Harry Potter remake. This and testing Meryl Streep for Aslan, its like they not only have learned nothing, but have learned the opposite.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 14, 2025 03:33 PM (ehZkr)

164
lol, we all know what the motive is when tptb cannot determine the motive ...

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at April 14, 2025 03:33 PM (/Ghsb)

165 108 G-d has taken his daughter Jewells home and made all things new again.

Posted by: Ben Had at April 14, 2025 03:22 PM (yp8Vj)

May she bask in the Savior's love, may she leap with joy and strength in her forever home, and may her family find comfort in the very great love she had for them. God bless them all.

Posted by: Moki at April 14, 2025 03:33 PM (wLjpr)

166 Judging by election results the number of even slightly right wing dudes in NYC could fit in a subway car.

Posted by: Its Go Time Donald at April 14, 2025 03:34 PM (DKKgv)

167 Judging by election results the number of even slightly right wing dudes in NYC could fit in a subway car.
Posted by: Its Go Time Donald at April 14, 2025 03:34 PM (DKKgv)

They dead?

Posted by: Necrophilia Night Stalker at April 14, 2025 03:35 PM (Zz0t1)

168 Pam Bondi : BREAKING: We have made an arrest in connection to the February firebombing of a New Mexico Tesla dealership and the March attack on the New Mexico Republican Party Headquarters.

Posted by: Dr Spank at April 14, 2025 03:35 PM (NNMcJ)

169 By the way, they went ahead and cast that black dude for Snape in the Harry Potter remake. This and testing Meryl Streep for Aslan, its like they not only have learned nothing, but have learned the opposite.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 14, 2025 03:33 PM (ehZkr)

Which one is Aslan? Is he the one who makes the wands, or the one who has the eye that goes all over the place.

Posted by: BurtTC at April 14, 2025 03:35 PM (dGCAG)

170 Yea, the whole "insecure" angle from this frothy THOT seems faked because 99% of the time liberal women are whining just the opposite, that righty guys are overly secure to the point of being toxic and domineering.
Posted by: Elric Blade at April 14, 2025 03:29 PM (iFTx/)

I'm sure there are plenty of guys who lean right, who keep it to themselves when dating these chicks, who may or may not be overly vocal in their leftist nonsense.

The guy keeps his politics to himself, bangs her, then walks away, having gotten all he ever wanted from her.
Posted by: BurtTC at April 14, 2025 03:32 PM (dGCAG)
____

"But I thought he wuvved me ...." [sobbing]

-- Liberal chick staring at $20 left on the nightstand

Posted by: Elric Blade at April 14, 2025 03:35 PM (iFTx/)

171 Alas!

RIP Jewells!

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at April 14, 2025 03:35 PM (/Ghsb)

172 All Auntie Fatwa's look like pencil-necked dweebs who were not bullied enough in their formative years.

I have a relative by marriage who would fit right in if he were brave enough, or had the strength to toss a Molatov coctail. He once left a dinner table in tears because my husband calmly told him he was full of shit over a decade ago, or during the protest Wall Street uproar.

Posted by: ChristyBlinkyTheGreat at April 14, 2025 03:35 PM (6PCLE)

173 RIP Jewells
Posted by: steevy
.....

❤

Posted by: wth at April 14, 2025 03:35 PM (v0R5T)

174 So very sorry to hear about Jewells. She was an exceptional, big-hearted woman. The way she cared for those abandoned dogs was the mark of an extraordinary human being. She was so smart, so funny, so talented. A huge loss.

Posted by: washrivergal at April 14, 2025 03:36 PM (IwGOP)

175 RIP Jewells45. Condolences to family.

Posted by: runner at April 14, 2025 03:36 PM (g47mK)

176 The guy keeps his politics to himself, bangs her, then walks away, having gotten all he ever wanted from her.

Just how desperate must NY men be to even consider this woman for recreational use?

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 14, 2025 03:36 PM (ehZkr)

177 Which one is Aslan? Is he the one who makes the wands, or the one who has the eye that goes all over the place.
Posted by: BurtTC at April 14, 2025 03:35 PM (dGCAG)
----------
Er, Aslan is the titular lion in "The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe."

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea, Radioactive Knight, Concertina Czar at April 14, 2025 03:36 PM (6K6Eu)

178 Pam Bondi : BREAKING: We have made an arrest in connection to the February firebombing of a New Mexico Tesla dealership and the March attack on the New Mexico Republican Party Headquarters.
Posted by: Dr Spank at April 14, 2025 03:35 PM (NNMcJ)

Doesn't New Mexico have their own police departments?

Why is DoJ going after them, instead of, for example, RELEASING THE UNREDACTED EPSTEIN DOCUMENTS???

Posted by: BurtTC at April 14, 2025 03:37 PM (dGCAG)

179 Which one is Aslan? Is he the one who makes the wands, or the one who has the eye that goes all over the place.
Posted by: BurtTC at April 14, 2025 03:35 PM (dGCAG)

The lion in Narnia.

Posted by: BruceWayne at April 14, 2025 03:37 PM (MGB5H)

180 > Er, Aslan is the titular lion in "The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe."

Now he has tits. What a world!

Posted by: bonhomme at April 14, 2025 03:37 PM (lIio7)

181 Every single act of political violence is left wing. Without exception. Yet the medias narrative is right wing extremism is the most dangerous thing to the country right now.

Ideology is a Hell of a drug.

Would it shock you to know that very few people arrive at their socio-political worldview as the result of analytic thinking combined with meticulously observation ? And that, once adopted, that worldview will never change regardless of any amount of evidence to the contrary ?

Posted by: Taking Notes at April 14, 2025 03:37 PM (Kxb1A)

182 Mmmmm.....tits......

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at April 14, 2025 03:37 PM (Zz0t1)

183 Which one is Aslan? Is he the one who makes the wands, or the one who has the eye that goes all over the place.
Posted by: BurtTC at April 14, 2025 03:35 PM (dGCAG)
----------
Er, Aslan is the titular lion in "The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe."
Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea, Radioactive Knight, Concertina Czar at April 14, 2025 03:36 PM (6K6Eu)

Was that one before or after Goblet Of Fire?

Posted by: BurtTC at April 14, 2025 03:37 PM (dGCAG)

184 off topic but interesting, from axios:

Tens of thousands of unaccompanied children who are in the U.S. illegally stand to lose legal help for their immigration hearings — and face being deported — because of a little-known Trump budget cut.

Why it matters: The $367 million cut takes aim at the legal defense fund designed to help children and teens who've fled violence, lost their parents, or are victims of trafficking.

Without lawyers it's extremely difficult for such youths -- about 26,000 of them now get this legal aid -- to show in court why they should be allowed to stay in the U.S.
Those who can't prove their need for asylum are likely to be deported.

Posted by: gnats local 678 at April 14, 2025 03:38 PM (CWTWj)

185 Why would a stronk grrrlll boss wymyn even want a relationship with a man? That goes against feminism 101. It’s best to fuck around in your 20s without settling down. And then as you age out in your 30s blame racism and the patriarchy for being alone. That’s 2020s Chick 101 stuff.

Posted by: Its Go Time Donald at April 14, 2025 03:38 PM (DKKgv)

186 > Why is DoJ going after them

Trump has declared attacks on Tesla to be domestic terrorism.

It actually makes sense -- it's clearly politically motivated, aimed at damaging Tesla through intimidation.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at April 14, 2025 03:38 PM (W5ArC)

187 Was that one before or after Goblet Of Fire?
Posted by: BurtTC at April 14, 2025 03:37 PM (dGCAG)
----------
*slaps hand to forehead*

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea, Radioactive Knight, Concertina Czar at April 14, 2025 03:39 PM (6K6Eu)

188 The guy keeps his politics to himself, bangs her, then walks away, having gotten all he ever wanted from her.

Just how desperate must NY men be to even consider this woman for recreational use?
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 14, 2025 03:36 PM (ehZkr)
_______

As we said when I was selling cars in the car bizness: "There's an ass for every seat." I don't believe this THOT went on any dates at all. But I don't doubt she could go on dates if she wanted to. She's at least not hideous like most leftwing hags.

Posted by: Elric Blade at April 14, 2025 03:39 PM (iFTx/)

189 Well. Shit.

Rest in Peace, Jewells.

Posted by: nurse ratched at April 14, 2025 03:39 PM (UoYkE)

190 ----------
Er, Aslan is the titular lion in "The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe."
Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea, Radioactive Knight, Concertina Czar at April 14, 2025 03:36 PM (6K6Eu)

The lion in Narnia.
Posted by: BruceWayne at April 14, 2025 03:37 PM (MGB5H)

If only there was a thing where searches can be done to find the answers to questions........

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at April 14, 2025 03:39 PM (Zz0t1)

191 Was that one before or after Goblet Of Fire?

Right after The Search for Spock, you know the one where he goes to the planet Degobah to get a dragon egg.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 14, 2025 03:39 PM (ehZkr)

192 NBC News,

"Balmer, of Harrisburg, turned himself into the Pennsylvania State Police on Sunday and admitted to "harboring hatred towards Governor Shapiro."

And, same article -

"Former President Joe Biden said on X Monday: "Jill and I are disgusted by the attack on the Shapiro family and their home during the first night of Passover. We are relieved that they are safe and grateful to the first responders. There is no place for this type of evil in America, and as I told the Governor yesterday, we must stand united against hatred and violence."
----
Times Now News: ' Was Cody Balmer 'Upset' With Gov Josh Shapiro Over Property Seizure?' Court Doc Surfaces
Cody Balmer, arrested for arson after allegedly setting Governor Josh Shapiro’s house on fire, was reportedly angry over the state auctioning his property. A court document from Harrisburg surfaced, linking the auction to Balmer’s motive. April 14, 2025

Posted by: L - No nic, adores Musk and Miller at April 14, 2025 03:39 PM (NFX2v)

193 Without lawyers it's extremely difficult for such youths -- about 26,000 of them now get this legal aid -- to show in court why they should be allowed to stay in the U.S.
Those who can't prove their need for asylum are likely to be deported.
Posted by: gnats local 678 at April 14, 2025 03:38 PM (CWTWj)

Sounds like the people who are so concerned about it should start a GoFundMe.

Posted by: BurtTC at April 14, 2025 03:40 PM (dGCAG)

194 Penn State police didn't exactly do a great job of security. They should have upped their game for Passover, because whether this was antisemitic or not , get ven the recent political climate they should have known better

Posted by: Smell the Glove at April 14, 2025 03:40 PM (6TePA)

195 If only there was a thing where searches can be done to find the answers to questions........
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at April 14, 2025 03:39 PM (Zz0t1)

The world book?

Posted by: BruceWayne at April 14, 2025 03:40 PM (MGB5H)

196 Political terrorism is precisely what the DOJ/FBI should be going after. Why are you upset they investigated and made arrests?

Posted by: Its Go Time Donald at April 14, 2025 03:40 PM (DKKgv)

197 Right after The Search for Spock, you know the one where he goes to the planet Degobah to get a dragon egg.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 14, 2025 03:39 PM (ehZkr)

That one always gets me, when the baby dragon hatches, attaches itself to his face, then pops out of his gut.

Posted by: BurtTC at April 14, 2025 03:41 PM (dGCAG)

198 The State Police were guarding the Gov Mansion at the time of the assault..
great job, asshats
Posted by: Black Orchid at April 14, 2025 03:16 PM (Pv3Rg)

Hey! In our defense, we found an unopened box of Krispy Kreme's in one particular corner of the property, and shrubbery obscured our view of the mansion for the 3 minutes required to eat them.

Posted by: Asshats, now applying for jobs with Meal Team 6 at April 14, 2025 03:41 PM (FCbAQ)

199
The world book?
Posted by: BruceWayne at April 14, 2025 03:40 PM (MGB5H)

I wonder if my encyclopedias from 1974 would have the answer......

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at April 14, 2025 03:42 PM (Zz0t1)

200 His property was recently auctioned for back taxes. This cannot be dismissed.
Posted by: Jeff Weimer at April 14, 2025 03:28 PM (zrlyb)

Cotton is down to a quarter a pound, but I'm busted
I got a cow that went dry and a hen that won't lay
A big stack of bills that gets bigger each day
The county's gonna haul my belongings away cause I'm busted...

Posted by: Zombie Ray Charles, Blind As A Bat at April 14, 2025 03:42 PM (z/JFO)

201 If only there was a thing where searches can be done to find the answers to questions........
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at April 14, 2025 03:39 PM (Zz0t1)

——————-

Yes, it’s called Hordesource. The Horde can answer all questions and is really good for things like medical or relationship advice.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 14, 2025 03:42 PM (u73oe)

202 187 Was that one before or after Goblet Of Fire?
Posted by: BurtTC at April 14, 2025 03:37 PM (dGCAG)
----------

I saw Goblet Of Fire open for Black Sabbath back in '74.

Posted by: The_Hoser at April 14, 2025 03:42 PM (f4jia)

203 He seems nice.

Posted by: tcn in AK at April 14, 2025 03:42 PM (eQO/Z)

204 By the way, they went ahead and cast that black dude for Snape in the Harry Potter remake. This and testing Meryl Streep for Aslan, its like they not only have learned nothing, but have learned the opposite.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 14, 2025 03:33 PM (ehZkr)

Which one is Aslan? Is he the one who makes the wands, or the one who has the eye that goes all over the place.
Posted by: BurtTC at April 14, 2025 03:35 PM (dGCAG)
______

He's the lion and (fairly obvious) Christ figure. But these clowns are already late to the party. In my own book, I have a short subplot involving Aslani, the queen of cats, and it's a play on Aslan. The gimmick is that CS Lewis knew about Aslani and he was the one who sex-swapped her.

Posted by: Elric Blade at April 14, 2025 03:43 PM (iFTx/)

205 If only there was a thing where searches can be done to find the answers to questions........
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at April 14, 2025 03:39 PM (Zz0t1)

That's the seventh one, where they go searching for the whore crocs.

Posted by: BurtTC at April 14, 2025 03:43 PM (dGCAG)

206 Yes, it’s called Hordesource. The Horde can answer all questions and is really good for things like medical or relationship advice.
Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 14, 2025 03:42 PM (u73oe)

Not to mention cocktail recipes.

Posted by: tcn in AK at April 14, 2025 03:43 PM (eQO/Z)

207
Sounds like the people who are so concerned about it should start a GoFundMe.
Posted by: BurtTC at April 14, 2025 03:40 PM (dGCAG)

"Dolla bills, yo!"

- - - - - Karmelo Anthony, Murderer

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at April 14, 2025 03:43 PM (Zz0t1)

208 Remember when someone got through security at the WH and made it all the way inside before someone stopped him? And that’s the fucking White House!!

Not shocking someone could bypass a governor’s mansion security.

Posted by: Its Go Time Donald at April 14, 2025 03:44 PM (DKKgv)

209 One minute inside the grounds, just one.

And that's just one guy who turned himself in.

Posted by: L - No nic, adores Musk and Miller at April 14, 2025 03:44 PM (NFX2v)

210 The Horde can answer all questions and is really good for things like medical or relationship advice.

But not whether you should use a crossbow or longbow

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 14, 2025 03:44 PM (ehZkr)

211 Once again, a leftist -- spurred on by unending hateful and incendiary rhetoric -- acts out in a violent way to carry out a stated purpose. Somehow, we are treated to more stunned reportage, incapable of seeing any sort of connection between radical ideology and violent behavior.

But immediately following the (mildly, in comparison) destructive actions of a handful of angry republican voters on J6, we were lectured at length about how this was nothing short of an insurrection; an overthrow of the government by a people -- who are known for their defense of 2nd Amendment rights, but didn't have a single weapon among them. And their leader must then be a fascist and desire nothing less than full subjugation of the Constitution. All without one iota of evidence or establishment of a pattern, outside media reports and democrat politicians' assertions.

I honestly don't know how a country stays together with this kind of lunacy.

Posted by: red speck at April 14, 2025 03:44 PM (0Id0S)

212 Blamy Balmer's mama says he was off his meds, and she called four police agencies to try to get him admitted or something.

Look mama, your crotchfruit went rotten for some reason, and it's on you to clean up the mess. By any means necessary.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at April 14, 2025 03:44 PM (8zz6B)

213 Remember when someone got through security at the WH and made it all the way inside before someone stopped him? And that’s the fucking White House!!
----------
There was a guy who got into Buckingham Palace and all the way to the Queen's bedroom.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea, Radioactive Knight, Concertina Czar at April 14, 2025 03:45 PM (6K6Eu)

214 The Horde can answer all questions and is really good for things like medical or relationship advice.
Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 14, 2025 03:42 PM (u73oe)

Not to mention cocktail recipes.
Posted by: tcn in AK

Don't forget us!
-- fish puns

Posted by: Bulg at April 14, 2025 03:45 PM (77rzZ)

215 Yes, it’s called Hordesource. The Horde can answer all questions and is really good for things like medical or relationship advice.
Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 14, 2025 03:42 PM (u73oe)

Not to mention cocktail recipes.
Posted by: tcn in AK at April 14, 2025 03:43 PM (eQO/Z)
_____

But the movie advice sometimes blows chunks ....

Posted by: Elric Blade at April 14, 2025 03:45 PM (iFTx/)

216 RIP Jewells. Very sweet lady.

Posted by: Thomas Paine at April 14, 2025 03:45 PM (lTGtQ)

217 The gimmick is that CS Lewis knew about Aslani and he was the one who sex-swapped her.
Posted by: Elric Blade at April 14, 2025 03:43 PM (iFTx/)

Don't spoil it, man! You just cost yourself about half a dozen book sales.

Posted by: BurtTC at April 14, 2025 03:45 PM (dGCAG)

218 Remember when someone got through security at the WH and made it all the way inside before someone stopped him? And that’s the fucking White House!!
----------
There was a guy who got into Buckingham Palace and all the way to the Queen's bedroom.
Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea, Radioactive Knight, Concertina Czar at April 14, 2025 03:45 PM (6K6Eu)
__________

[Smirks]

-- The Paolo

Posted by: Elric Blade at April 14, 2025 03:45 PM (iFTx/)

219 Times Now News: ' Was Cody Balmer 'Upset' With Gov Josh Shapiro Over Property Seizure?' Court Doc Surfaces
Cody Balmer, arrested for arson after allegedly setting Governor Josh Shapiro’s house on fire, was reportedly angry over the state auctioning his property. A court document from Harrisburg surfaced, linking the auction to Balmer’s motive. April 14, 2025
Posted by: L - No nic, adores Musk and Miller at April 14, 2025 03:39 PM (NFX2v)

You mean there's the tiniest tinyest possibility that this wasn't motivated by anti-semitism?
After everybody has already made their assumptions and spoken out against the hate?
Eh, anything's possible, I guess.

Posted by: OneEyedJack at April 14, 2025 03:46 PM (FCbAQ)

220 188 The guy keeps his politics to himself, bangs her, then walks away, having gotten all he ever wanted from her.

Just how desperate must NY men be to even consider this woman for recreational use?
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 14, 2025 03:36 PM (ehZkr)

Are we talking about Taylor Lorenz?

At the risk of engaging in elder abuse, I would love her with such vigor that the UN would deploy a multinational peacekeeping force to her bedroom afterward.

Like Bob Packwood, I view this as a matter of duty.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at April 14, 2025 03:46 PM (y+qgR)

221 Pretty sure Aslan was the lion in Star Wars that taught Luke how to use the force.

Posted by: An expert at April 14, 2025 03:46 PM (2qXmI)

222 "Be the light you want to see in the world."

Hey, he stole that line from Herr Himmler.

Posted by: Franz Liebkind at April 14, 2025 03:46 PM (IUmF8)

223 The left keeps yelling that the right has to calm down its rhetoric because "stochastic terrorism" in which you incite the crazies to violent action by your violent language.

Then they go nuts yelling about how someone needs to take out orange man *wink wink* and worse language.

Its not like they are unaware of what they are trying to do. Everything they accuse the right of doing, they are doing already or would in their place. Its deliberate, and they have a host of unstable loons to incite.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 14, 2025 03:47 PM (ehZkr)

224 Lorenz always looks like she puts makeup on with a putty knife.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at April 14, 2025 03:47 PM (Zz0t1)

225 Allow me to demonstrate the power of Hordesource.

Hordesource, what was the proximate cause of the War of Northern Aggression?

Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 14, 2025 03:47 PM (u73oe)

226 Look mama, your crotchfruit went rotten for some reason, and it's on you to clean up the mess. By any means necessary.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon

"When the need arises - and it does - you must be able to shoot your own dog. Don't farm it out — that doesn't make it nicer, it makes it worse." - Robert Heinlein

Quote's been in my head a bit lately for some reason.

Posted by: Brother Tim (102mm/W59), Keeper of the Tim Continuum at April 14, 2025 03:47 PM (OUMaO)

227 A mechanic who had previously expressed disdain for Democrats was arrested in connection with a fire early Sunday at Pennsylvania Gov. Josh Shapiro's residence, sources told @ABC
News.

https://tinyurl.com/257dd4z3

Posted by: Dr Spank at April 14, 2025 03:47 PM (NNMcJ)

228 In Other News:
Katy Perry wears a bra into space.

Posted by: wth at April 14, 2025 03:47 PM (v0R5T)

229 Remember when someone got through security at the WH and made it all the way inside before someone stopped him? And that’s the fucking White House!!

Not shocking someone could bypass a governor’s mansion security.
Posted by: Its Go Time Donald

There was also that couple that crashed Obama's inauguration party in the WH.

Posted by: Bulg at April 14, 2025 03:47 PM (77rzZ)

230 Ed Aslan. He played Mary Tyler Moore's boss.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Soldier of the Persistence at April 14, 2025 03:47 PM (L/fGl)

231 Lorenz always looks like she puts makeup on with a putty knife.
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at April 14, 2025 03:47 PM (Zz0t1)
________

She does. Lots and lots of foundation and concealer. I'll bet large sums of $$ she has terrible skin.

Posted by: Elric Blade at April 14, 2025 03:48 PM (iFTx/)

232 225 Allow me to demonstrate the power of Hordesource.

Hordesource, what was the proximate cause of the War of Northern Aggression?
Posted by: Duke Lowell

42

Posted by: nurse ratched at April 14, 2025 03:48 PM (6VrV7)

233 Pretty sure Aslan was the lion in Star Wars that taught Luke how to use the force.
Posted by: An expert at April 14, 2025 03:46 PM (2qXmI)

Which Roundhead Rian Johnson retro changed, when he had Luke drinking green milk from Aslan's tittah.

Posted by: BurtTC at April 14, 2025 03:48 PM (dGCAG)

234 "It was Passover? Oh, woah, woah, no man, jeez, sorry. I was just trying to burn you and your whole family alive because I wanted you dead, man. Wow. Well now I just feel like a jerk."

Posted by: Warai-otoko at April 14, 2025 03:48 PM (VoAdT)

235 One night? Sure I’d do TayTay LorLor.

Posted by: Its Go Time Donald at April 14, 2025 03:49 PM (DKKgv)

236 Motive?

Last night The Party line was that this Cody Balmer was a Trump supporting neo-Nazi white supremacist.

Then, later they found his Facebook, took it offline, and have no clue as to his motive.

This one won't be in the news for long.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at April 14, 2025 03:49 PM (/lPRQ)

237 There was a guy who got into Buckingham Palace and all the way to the Queen's bedroom.

Yeah it takes a bit of luck but you can sneak into almost anywhere the first time. After that the security will be a bit more alert.

But the movie advice sometimes blows chunks

I keep telling you, Hawk the Slayer is a masterpiece of low budget 80s fantasy!

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 14, 2025 03:49 PM (ehZkr)

238 So they should have beaten him unconscious, tied him up and thrown him in the basement until they could get help.

You know your kid's a POS. Handle him, or someone else will get hurt.
Posted by: The_Hoser at April 14, 2025 03:14 PM (f4jia)

Sounds good, but in fact, it is nearly impossible in some situations to "handle him." Nobody can push a rope, and if the state won't arrest him, or have him committed, just how much can parents actually do without chaining him to a wall, which puts them in prison?

Posted by: tcn in AK at April 14, 2025 03:49 PM (eQO/Z)

239 He looks nice.

Posted by: Martin Tell at April 14, 2025 03:49 PM (U5B+Z)

240 You can bet Pennsylvania spends millions on the Governor's home security.
Just like the Feds spent millions on Pelosi's home security.

DOGE should look into why the Capitol Police has a useless cop shop in San Francisco...and probably elsewhere.

Posted by: torabora at April 14, 2025 03:49 PM (eQTgt)

241 Dammit.

Stop dying, y'all. I want to be able to meet some of y'all in person someday.

RIP Jewells45.

Posted by: Brother Tim (102mm/W59), Keeper of the Tim Continuum at April 14, 2025 03:50 PM (OUMaO)

242 Bonchie retweeted
The Babylon Bee
@TheBabylonBee
1h
Terrified Luigi Mangione Files Restraining Order Against Taylor Lorenz

Posted by: m at April 14, 2025 03:51 PM (CQE5S)

243 One night? Sure I’d do TayTay LorLor.
Posted by: Its Go Time Donald at April 14, 2025 03:49 PM (DKKgv)

I recall Michael Malice saying he doesn't believe those people who say they would never bang Nancy Pelosi.

Sure you would! Just so you could say for the rest of your life, you banged Nancy Pelosi.

Posted by: BurtTC at April 14, 2025 03:51 PM (dGCAG)

244 So very sorry to hear about Jewells. She was an exceptional, big-hearted woman. The way she cared for those abandoned dogs was the mark of an extraordinary human being. She was so smart, so funny, so talented. A huge loss.
Posted by: washrivergal at April 14, 2025 03:36 PM (IwGOP)

What she said.
And may God rest her soul.

Posted by: OneEyedJack at April 14, 2025 03:51 PM (FCbAQ)

245 Lots and lots of foundation and concealer. I'll bet large sums of $$ she has terrible skin.

My aunt had her skin ravaged by brutal acne in her teens, she wore lots of stuff to smooth it out. I have some sympathy for that kind of thing. Its the 16 year old girl who uses up $500 worth of product on her face every day that baffles me: what a waste.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 14, 2025 03:51 PM (ehZkr)

246 Heard the Jewells45 has passed away.

Snail Dancer and her husband were her last visitors.
Posted by: NaCly Dog at April 14, 2025 03:16 PM (u82oZ)

Sad news, indeed. She was a real sweetheart.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at April 14, 2025 03:51 PM (8zz6B)

247 I recall Michael Malice saying he doesn't believe those people who say they would never bang Nancy Pelosi.

Sure you would! Just so you could say for the rest of your life, you banged Nancy Pelosi.
Posted by: BurtTC at April 14, 2025 03:51 PM (dGCAG)

If I got the keys to ace's Time Machine. Maybe.

Posted by: BruceWayne at April 14, 2025 03:51 PM (MGB5H)

248 Lorenz still wears a mask because of COVID. If anyone cared to bang her she'd make you wear a full body condom like in the Naked Gun. Not only is she an idiot , she a raging hypochondriac

Posted by: Smell the Glove at April 14, 2025 03:52 PM (6TePA)

249 If I got the keys to ace's Time Machine. Maybe.
Posted by: BruceWayne at April 14, 2025 03:51 PM (MGB5H)
-----------
Yeah, but you'd always have in the back of your mind what she will become...

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea, Radioactive Knight, Concertina Czar at April 14, 2025 03:52 PM (6K6Eu)

250 Sure you would! Just so you could say for the rest of your life, you banged Nancy Pelosi.

Just for the record: no, I would not. Even when she was young and somewhat attractive. Especially not now when she is a mostly-plastic mummy.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 14, 2025 03:53 PM (ehZkr)

251 Sure you would! Just so you could say for the rest of your life, you banged Nancy Pelosi.
Posted by: BurtTC
.....

Like, with a hammer?

Posted by: wth at April 14, 2025 03:53 PM (v0R5T)

252 Shapiro both sided it, so we know the suspect is a lefty.

Posted by: InZona at April 14, 2025 03:53 PM (wFJHy)

253 Well. Shit.

Rest in Peace, Jewells.
Posted by: nurse ratched at April 14, 2025 03:39 PM (UoYkE)
-----
My sentiments exactly.

Posted by: Weasel at April 14, 2025 03:54 PM (idhMh)

254 Sorry, but I 100% would not bang Nancy Pelosi

Posted by: Elric Blade at April 14, 2025 03:54 PM (iFTx/)

255 R.I.P, dear Jewels.

Posted by: thatcrazyjerseyguy at April 14, 2025 03:54 PM (5xuJ/)

256 Like, with a hammer?
Posted by: wth at April 14, 2025 03:53 PM (v0R5T)

Use protection or we'll all wind up under gavelkind.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at April 14, 2025 03:54 PM (VoAdT)

257
Like, with a hammer?
Posted by: wth at April 14, 2025 03:53 PM (v0R5T)

That's hot!

Posted by: Paul Pelosi at April 14, 2025 03:54 PM (Zz0t1)

258 ABC News is blaming the right on the arson.

Posted by: Dr Spank at April 14, 2025 03:54 PM (NNMcJ)

259 Sure you would! Just so you could say for the rest of your life, you banged Nancy Pelosi.
Posted by: BurtTC
.....

Like, with a hammer?
Posted by: wth

Nah. Nan's not into that stuff. Ask me how I know.
-- Paul Pelosi

Posted by: Bulg at April 14, 2025 03:54 PM (77rzZ)

260 Excellent tag-team annihilation of CNN at Trump's Oval Office meeting with Bukele. Even Bukele joined in.

Posted by: Ordinary American at April 14, 2025 03:55 PM (h/ffs)

261
They added ter terrorist the designation on his charges. I think that makes it Federal but not sure.

Posted by: I was Gumby Damn It! now I'm not. at April 14, 2025 03:14 PM (Synww)

A Molotov Cocktail is classified as a Destructive Device under the 1934 NFA, which would make this a Federal offence.

Posted by: EU at April 14, 2025 03:55 PM (y9nCu)

262 recall Michael Malice saying he doesn't believe those people who say they would never bang Nancy Pelosi.
==
A.crazy leftist beeyotch, is unf able. You might think you could bang Megan Markle, but she so frigging toxic your Johnson would never forgive.

Posted by: An a rebellious Johnson, is a problem at April 14, 2025 03:55 PM (2qXmI)

263 Sure you would! Just so you could say for the rest of your life, you banged Nancy Pelosi.
Posted by: BurtTC
.....

Like, with a hammer?
Posted by: wth at April 14, 2025 03:53 PM (v0R5T)

Heh. For what it's worth, if I wasn't clear, I'm not endorsing Malice's position here.

There are other lefty chicks I would have no problem banging, but I'm not a necrophiliac.

Posted by: BurtTC at April 14, 2025 03:55 PM (dGCAG)

264 261 Da.

Posted by: Boss Moss at April 14, 2025 03:55 PM (GItCB)

265 ABC News is blaming the right on the arson.
Posted by: Dr Spank at April 14, 2025 03:54 PM (NNMcJ)

————

Because of course they are.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 14, 2025 03:56 PM (u73oe)

266 Well, you missed your chance.

Giant sweepstakes company Publishers Clearing House files for bankruptcy

-
My retirement plan is shot to hell!

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Soldier of the Persistence at April 14, 2025 03:56 PM (L/fGl)

267 A Molotov Cocktail is classified as a Destructive Device under the 1934 NFA, which would make this a Federal offence.
Posted by: EU at April 14, 2025 03:55 PM (y9nCu)
----------
Out of curiosity, what did they call it, then? It didn't get the Molotov moniker until the Winter War in '39.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea, Radioactive Knight, Concertina Czar at April 14, 2025 03:56 PM (6K6Eu)

268 RIP Jewells. Condolences to her family and friends. Sweet lady.

Posted by: Oddbob at April 14, 2025 03:56 PM (/y8xj)

269 Wouldn't there be an enormous carbon footprint?

Posted by: Boss Moss at April 14, 2025 03:57 PM (GItCB)

270 A Molotov Cocktail is classified as a Destructive Device under the 1934 NFA, which would make this a Federal offence.
Posted by: EU at April 14, 2025 03:55 PM (y9nCu)
----------
Out of curiosity, what did they call it, then? It didn't get the Molotov moniker until the Winter War in '39.
Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea, Radioactive Knight, Concertina Czar at April 14, 2025 03:56 PM (6K6Eu)
________

Mazeltov Cocktail

Posted by: Elric Blade at April 14, 2025 03:57 PM (iFTx/)

271 Out of curiosity, what did they call it, then? It didn't get the Molotov moniker until the Winter War in '39.
Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea, Radioactive Knight, Concertina Czar at April 14, 2025 03:56 PM (6K6Eu)

Different Molotov. No relation.

(I'm kidding, i have no idea)

Posted by: Warai-otoko at April 14, 2025 03:57 PM (VoAdT)

272 A.crazy leftist beeyotch, is unf able. You might think you could bang Megan Markle, but she so frigging toxic your Johnson would never forgive.
Posted by: An a rebellious Johnson, is a problem at April 14, 2025 03:55 PM (2qXmI)

I would absolutely bang Sparkle Markle. I can't think of any reason not to. It's not like the palace guards haven't already.

Posted by: BurtTC at April 14, 2025 03:57 PM (dGCAG)

273 @RichardGrenell

Which private equity firm will be the first to bring a manufacturing company (back) to America?

And will it be a textile company? A chip company? A steel company? A car parts company? A Pharma?

The race is on
-----------

If I were a rich man I'd chip in on a pharma co.
I'd also lobby to bring back mining and refining. Those are biggies for independence.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at April 14, 2025 03:58 PM (AneyV)

274 I wouldn't want anything to do with Taylor Lorenz either, per Rule #1. Or Taylor Swift even though she is a cutie.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 14, 2025 03:58 PM (ehZkr)

275 A Molotov Cocktail is classified as a Destructive Device under the 1934 NFA, which would make this a Federal offence.
Posted by: EU at April 14, 2025 03:55 PM (y9nCu)
----------
Out of curiosity, what did they call it, then? It didn't get the Molotov moniker until the Winter War in '39.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea, Radioactive Knight, Concertina Czar at April 14, 2025 03:56 PM (6K6Eu)

The 1934 NFA, as amended.

Posted by: Washington Nearsider, still gloating at April 14, 2025 03:58 PM (rUU8O)

276 We will miss you, dear Jewells.

Eternal rest grant unto her, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon her. May her soul, and the souls of all the faithful departed, through the mercy of God rest in peace. Amen.

Posted by: bluebell at April 14, 2025 03:58 PM (79pEw)

277 Ooooh! Can I get that needle stitch? But done with an AGM-69 explosion? I was a SAC guy....

Posted by: GWB at April 14, 2025 03:59 PM (fK6LX)

278 It's not like the palace guards haven't already.
===
That right there is a reason not to...

Posted by: Burt's Johnson trying to reason with him.... at April 14, 2025 03:59 PM (2qXmI)

279 Catholic hospital's lawyers argue preborn babies aren't people to limit malpractice damages

-
Well, they don’t pay taxes.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Soldier of the Persistence at April 14, 2025 03:59 PM (L/fGl)

280 "no motive" means left wing or Islamic

Posted by: TallDave at April 14, 2025 03:59 PM (98TtQ)

281 RichardGrenell

Which private equity firm will be the first to bring a manufacturing company (back) to America?

And will it be a textile company? A chip company? A steel company? A car parts company? A Pharma?

The race is on
-----------

If I were a rich man I'd chip in on a pharma co.
I'd also lobby to bring back mining and refining. Those are biggies for independence.
Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at April 14, 2025 03:58 PM (AneyV)
_________

Robotic sex doll factory

Posted by: Elric Blade at April 14, 2025 03:59 PM (iFTx/)

282 Well, they don’t pay taxes.
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Soldier of the Persistence at April 14, 2025 03:59 PM (L/fGl)

10% of nothin' is nothin'.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at April 14, 2025 03:59 PM (VoAdT)

283 I would absolutely bang Sparkle Markle. I can't think of any reason not to. It's not like the palace guards haven't already.
Posted by: BurtTC
......

She would probably really enjoy that since her husband has no genitals.

Posted by: wth at April 14, 2025 04:00 PM (v0R5T)

284 Heard the Jewells45 has passed away.
Posted by: NaCly Dog at April 14, 2025 03:16 PM (u82oZ)

Well, damn.
Take her to your bosom, Lord. And comfort those still here, grieving her departure.

Posted by: GWB at April 14, 2025 04:00 PM (fK6LX)

285 225 Allow me to demonstrate the power of Hordesource.

Hordesource, what was the proximate cause of the War of Northern Aggression?
Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 14, 2025 03:47 PM (u73oe)

Why, that would be Lincoln's deliberately provocative resupply of Ft. Sumter of course.

Posted by: Stir the pot! at April 14, 2025 04:00 PM (mYVyx)

286 I wouldn't want anything to do with Taylor Lorenz either, per Rule #1. Or Taylor Swift even though she is a cutie.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 14, 2025 03:58 PM (ehZkr)

I start with the fact my ex is crazier than any of these other chicks. I'm already tainted.

And if she asked me to, I certainly would.

Posted by: BurtTC at April 14, 2025 04:00 PM (dGCAG)

287 Allow me to demonstrate the power of Hordesource.

Hordesource, what was the proximate cause of the War of Northern Aggression?
Posted by: Duke Lowell

While slavery is commonly believed to be the major cause of the civil war, officially it wasn't a primary issue for the North nor the South. But it was the lowest common denominator for all causes cited by both sides.

Ka Ching!
Bring on the prize money!

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at April 14, 2025 04:01 PM (/lPRQ)

288 I would absolutely bang Sparkle Markle. I can't think of any reason not to. It's not like the palace guards haven't already.

See for me, that would be a argument NOT to do so, having been passed around by hundreds of other dudes.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 14, 2025 04:01 PM (ehZkr)

289 Posted by: Burt's Johnson trying to reason with him.... at April 14, 2025 03:59 PM (2qXmI)

Why start now?

Posted by: BurtTC at April 14, 2025 04:01 PM (dGCAG)

290 I start with the fact my ex is crazier than any of these other chicks. I'm already tainted.

And if she asked me to, I certainly would.
Posted by: BurtTC at April 14, 2025 04:00 PM (dGCAG)

"Annoyingly loud and wrong about everything" doesn't even scratch the surface of the crazy axis.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at April 14, 2025 04:02 PM (VoAdT)

291 See for me, that would be a argument NOT to do so, having been passed around by hundreds of other dudes.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 14, 2025 04:01 PM (ehZkr)

Nah, probably just one or two of them.

Posted by: BurtTC at April 14, 2025 04:02 PM (dGCAG)

292 Hungary’s Viktor Orban has officially BANNED the mutilation and sterilization of children.

“We’re protecting children’s development, affirming that a person is born either male or female, and standing firm against drugs and foreign interference…”
----

I read somewhere the people over there don't like him.
The writer must have been a State plant.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at April 14, 2025 04:02 PM (AneyV)

293 I start with the fact my ex is crazier than any of these other chicks. I'm already tainted.

Yeah but its not a binary switch, each one is their own special brand of crazy that ruins your life individually.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 14, 2025 04:02 PM (ehZkr)

294 I would absolutely bang Sparkle Markle. I can't think of any reason not to. It's not like the palace guards haven't already.

See for me, that would be a argument NOT to do so, having been passed around by hundreds of other dudes.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 14, 2025 04:01 PM (ehZkr)

Right. I don't want shit on my shit.

Posted by: Washington Nearsider, still gloating at April 14, 2025 04:02 PM (rUU8O)

295 225 Allow me to demonstrate the power of Hordesource.

Hordesource, what was the proximate cause of the War of Northern Aggression?
Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 14, 2025 03:47 PM (u73oe)
Tariffs

Posted by: Eromero at April 14, 2025 04:03 PM (LHPAg)

296 Giant sweepstakes company Publishers Clearing House files for bankruptcy.

I used to know this old fart who used to buy and buy and buy magazines thinking he was increasing his chance of winning. People are gullible and stupid.

Posted by: Nigerian Prince Aboko MeeMoko at April 14, 2025 04:03 PM (z/JFO)

297 Yeah but its not a binary switch, each one is their own special brand of crazy that ruins your life individually.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 14, 2025 04:02 PM (ehZkr)

But in different and exciting ways!

Posted by: BruceWayne at April 14, 2025 04:03 PM (MGB5H)

298 "I would absolutely bang Sparkle Markle. I can't think of any reason not to. It's not like the palace guards haven't already."

NSYDIC

Posted by: fd at April 14, 2025 04:03 PM (vFG9F)

299 Nothing says "beguiling" quite like a coy sideways glance at the camera with bug eye goggles on the forehead. The knit cap gives the whole thing sartorial splendor which otherwise would be missing.

Posted by: blake - semi lurker in marginal standing (tT6L1) at April 14, 2025 04:03 PM (tT6L1)

300 "Annoyingly loud and wrong about everything" doesn't even scratch the surface of the crazy axis.
Posted by: Warai-otoko at April 14, 2025 04:02 PM (VoAdT)

Exactly. That's just all women.

Present company excepted.

Posted by: BurtTC at April 14, 2025 04:03 PM (dGCAG)

301 My guess is a Antifa guy but didn't see anything on him except mug shot

Posted by: Skip at April 14, 2025 04:03 PM (ypFCm)

302 Er, Aslan is the titular lion in "The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe."

Now he has tits. What a world!
====

IT’S FUNNY BECAUSE JJ DESCRIBES MERYL STREEP AS “RICH LITTLE WITH TITS!”

Posted by: BEN ROTHLESBERGER at April 14, 2025 04:04 PM (+K1xO)

303 RIP Jewells.

You wrote some kind words about my work, and you seemed like a nice person from the gray boxes.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, looking for laughs with Ivan Reitman at April 14, 2025 04:04 PM (GBKbO)

304 Nah, probably just one or two of them.

She strikes me as the kind that slept with every single man she met that she figured would help her get famous and rich. And a few extra just in case.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 14, 2025 04:04 PM (ehZkr)

305 >>>_________

Robotic sex doll factory
Posted by: Elric Blade
---

Those guys, when they get off work from the factory or the mine are going to be looking for real women.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at April 14, 2025 04:04 PM (AneyV)

306 Yeah but its not a binary switch, each one is their own special brand of crazy that ruins your life individually.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 14, 2025 04:02 PM (ehZkr)

But in different and exciting ways!
Posted by: BruceWayne at April 14, 2025 04:03 PM (MGB5H)

Bingo!

I learned a new trick from her though: DON'T MARRY THEM!

Posted by: BurtTC at April 14, 2025 04:05 PM (dGCAG)

307 Prayers for Jewells' family.

Posted by: ... at April 14, 2025 04:05 PM (Bvf7c)

308 Nothing says "beguiling" quite like a coy sideways glance at the camera with bug eye goggles on the forehead.

Hey, it works for steampunk cosplay girls

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 14, 2025 04:06 PM (ehZkr)

309 PA's definition of an "enumerated person":
https://shorturl.at/LXBn7
Section C ... 39 types listed ... and you'll never guess who is listed immediately *before* Governor!

Posted by: Helena Handbasket at April 14, 2025 04:06 PM (Vqx30)

310 You wrote some kind words about my work, and you seemed like a nice person from the gray boxes.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, looking for laughs with Ivan Reitman at April 14, 2025 04:04 PM (GBKbO)

She was pretty damned cool.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at April 14, 2025 04:06 PM (Zz0t1)

311
Markle?

Yacht Girls > Yacht Music

Posted by: Auspex at April 14, 2025 04:06 PM (j4U/Z)

312 254 Sorry, but I 100% would not bang Nancy Pelosi
_____

What if you could go back in time when she was at her peak and, potentially, change the course of history?

Posted by: Chuck Martel at April 14, 2025 04:06 PM (Dv3i1)

313 Nah, probably just one or two of them.

She strikes me as the kind that slept with every single man she met that she figured would help her get famous and rich. And a few extra just in case.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 14, 2025 04:04 PM (ehZkr)
________

Fucked some women too, I'm sure

Posted by: Elric Blade at April 14, 2025 04:06 PM (iFTx/)

314 288 I would absolutely bang Sparkle Markle. I can't think of any reason not to. It's not like the palace guards haven't already.

See for me, that would be a argument NOT to do so, having been passed around by hundreds of other dudes.
---------------------------
There's some taints even lava soap and a brillo pad can't clean.
You dip you're wick in that wax and it comes out permanently Stained.

Posted by: But I'm a Hero, the media says so at April 14, 2025 04:07 PM (F/35S)

315 Allow me to demonstrate the power of Hordesource.

Hordesource, what was the proximate cause of the War of Northern Aggression?

Orange Man Bad?

Posted by: BifBewalski at April 14, 2025 04:07 PM (MsrgL)

316 She strikes me as the kind that slept with every single man she met that she figured would help her get famous and rich. And a few extra just in case.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at April 14, 2025 04:04 PM (ehZkr)

On the other hand, she can afford all the best antibiotics.

Posted by: BurtTC at April 14, 2025 04:07 PM (dGCAG)

317 Bingo!

I learned a new trick from her though: DON'T MARRY THEM!
Posted by: BurtTC
---

Don't get rid of women get rid of punitive divorce laws.
Let them compete for your manhood.

Posted by: Braenyard - some Absent Friends are more equal than others _ at April 14, 2025 04:07 PM (AneyV)

318 The war of northern aggression was caused by the Swede's wanting more Lithuanian land

Posted by: Smell the Glove at April 14, 2025 04:08 PM (6TePA)

319 Aww no,
🙏

Posted by: Skip at April 14, 2025 04:08 PM (ypFCm)

320
What if you could go back in time when she was at her peak and, potentially, change the course of history?
Posted by: Chuck Martel at April 14, 2025 04:06 PM (Dv3i1)

She was rumored to have been banging JFK when she was 20.

How are you going to top that? She wouldn't give most the time of day after that.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at April 14, 2025 04:08 PM (Zz0t1)

321 Sure you would! Just so you could say for the rest of your life, you banged Nancy Pelosi.
Posted by: BurtTC

I'd kind of cloud the issue by saying, "It was JFK nailed her. Well, he called dibs."
Hopefully that prevent further questions for details.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at April 14, 2025 04:08 PM (/lPRQ)

322 The only shocking thing about it is that this guy was still in Harrisburg.

Usually people like him get the f*** out of South Central PA as soon as they possibly can because there's no action here for people like him.

Posted by: XTC at April 14, 2025 04:08 PM (UnA8+)

323 Sounds good, but in fact, it is nearly impossible in some situations to "handle him." Nobody can push a rope, and if the state won't arrest him, or have him committed, just how much can parents actually do without chaining him to a wall, which puts them in prison?
Posted by: tcn in AK at April 14, 2025 03:49 PM (eQO/Z)

Do the calculus: "If I shoot my son, I will go to prison, but if I don't shoot him, eventually he will murder some innocent person, and I will bear the guilt, knowing that I could have prevented it."

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at April 14, 2025 04:09 PM (8zz6B)

324 Nothing says "beguiling" quite like a coy sideways glance at the camera with bug eye goggles on the forehead. The knit cap gives the whole thing sartorial splendor which otherwise would be missing.
===
10.to 1 he fancies himself "the aviator" in Mad Max. Which frankly says a lot about his low self esteem. Most psychos would have gone with Collander face character...

Posted by: We don't need another hero at April 14, 2025 04:09 PM (2qXmI)

325 Nood Bill Maher and Trump.

Posted by: Washington Nearsider, still gloating at April 14, 2025 04:09 PM (rUU8O)

326 She was rumored to have been banging JFK when she was 20.

How are you going to top that?
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at April 14, 2025 04:08 PM (Zz0t1)

Like hot fudge running down a sundae.

Posted by: ... at April 14, 2025 04:09 PM (Bvf7c)

327 I'm truly sorry to hear Jewells passed away, I consider myself fortunate to have met her in TX at my first MoMe.

Prayers for her and her family.

Posted by: blake - semi lurker in marginal standing (tT6L1) at April 14, 2025 04:10 PM (tT6L1)

328 What if you could go back in time when she was at her peak and, potentially, change the course of history?
Posted by: Chuck Martel at April 14, 2025 04:06 PM (Dv3i1)

Adding it to the post-it note on the Time Machine:

- Kill Baby Hitler
- Pet a dinosaur
- Scatter tubes of toothpaste and toothbrushes all over the English Isles before Hengist and Horsa get there
- Fuck Fuckable Nancy Pelosi

Posted by: Warai-otoko at April 14, 2025 04:10 PM (VoAdT)

329 NOODlum.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at April 14, 2025 04:10 PM (Zz0t1)

330 309 PA's definition of an "enumerated person":
https://shorturl.at/LXBn7
Section C ... 39 types listed ... and you'll never guess who is listed immediately *before* Governor!
------------------------------------
Every law increasing penalties for offenses against or creating crimes specifically to benefit classes, occupations, or elected officials should be null and void.
Equal Protection is very fucking clear.

Posted by: But I'm a Hero, the media says so at April 14, 2025 04:10 PM (F/35S)

331 Heard the Jewells45 has passed away.
Posted by: NaCly Dog at April 14, 2025 03:16 PM (u82oZ)

Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

Posted by: World just got that much suckier at April 14, 2025 04:11 PM (TbWk/)

332 RIP, Dear Jewells45.

You made our little corner of the world a brighter place, and you will be missed. I will always treasure the pretties you made. May God bless and comfort your family and loved ones.

Posted by: Legally Sufficient at April 14, 2025 04:11 PM (rxCpr)

333 So you work in a robotic sex doll factory. You really want one for yourself, but you can't afford one on your robotic sex doll factory wages.

So you decide you're going to steal one. Just take it home.

One piece at a time.

Posted by: Don Black at April 14, 2025 04:11 PM (AOsQT)

334 326 She was rumored to have been banging JFK when she was 20.

How are you going to top that?
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at April 14, 2025 04:08 PM (Zz0t1)

Like hot fudge running down a sundae.
-------------------------------------------------
I won't be impressed till you show me a chick who got within dickin' range of JFK and escaped unviolated.

Posted by: But I'm a Hero, the media says so at April 14, 2025 04:12 PM (F/35S)

335 I'm conflicted. I'm not entirely broke up about this. The left is encouraging violence. Payback. I've been having my 3rd worst week ever in my life and haven't followed stuff.

My friend across the street, btw, his brother is out of surgery and they removed a kidney. The tumor was so large they thought he had a double kidney.

He's well off which helps. He escaped Canada's system and went to Romania. He was going for a different operation and they found the growth.

It kind of pisses me off, bacause me late mother had a cyste on her kidney. I dragged her to the ER over and over, finally they admitted her, and she was bed ridden for over a month before they figured it out. She went to London and they took care of her, but she couldn't walk again.

My friend is alright. I cleaned up and he came over yesterday.

I checked on him. He's alright. I told him if my optimism and spirituality...what little there is.... becomes too much, feel free to punch me.

That made him laugh. Good. He needed that.

It's been the third worst week of my life. I have a few more beers. Tomorrow I regroup.

If you can send good thoughts to my friend's brother. That would be cool.

Best people.

Posted by: Stateless.. 10% - mental state clawing up from 10%, shit happened, clawing back next week at April 14, 2025 04:13 PM (jvJvP)

336 Katy Perry, astronaut, just taken off in a giant weiner-shaped rocket created by a bald billionaire-- are we living in an Austin Powers movie?!?!
Posted by: Lizzy

Katy Perry says spaceflight connected her to the "divine feminine"⁰⁹

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Soldier of the Persistence at April 14, 2025 04:15 PM (L/fGl)

337 Turns out the Harris team was right, the left never would have tolerated Shapiro.

Posted by: Mea Culpa at April 14, 2025 04:16 PM (7nGU3)

338 Stateless - My heart, prayers, and thoughts are with you bud. Hang tough.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at April 14, 2025 04:16 PM (XeU6L)

339 RIP Jewells
The way we become One Of The Few is by becoming fewer.

Posted by: torabora at April 14, 2025 04:16 PM (eQTgt)

340 Sad about Jewells. First thing that came to mind was all of the animals she rescued\fostered. This angel finally got her wings.

Posted by: Cheri at April 14, 2025 04:20 PM (FGQ5G)

341 329 NOODlum.
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at April 14, 2025 04:10 PM (Zz0t1)

Posted by: m at April 14, 2025 04:21 PM (CQE5S)

342 RIP Jewells45, from a lurker. Praying for you. I know the Internet connection is good up there, so pray for us too.

@Stateless -- Praying for your friend's brother, as well as for your friend and yourself.

Things will get better. If not tomorrow, then the next tomorrow.

Posted by: Suburbanbanshee at April 14, 2025 04:22 PM (p2GXS)

343 Why do they keep calling the governor's mansion "Shapiro's house"?

Posted by: Night lifted.... at April 14, 2025 04:35 PM (FZn/N)

344 Jewells45? Oh, no. RIP lovely lady

Posted by: Night lifted.... at April 14, 2025 04:36 PM (FZn/N)

345 RIP Jewells. She was a kind, talented, and loving woman. Will wear her jewelry tomorrow and Easter.

Posted by: Mrs JTB at April 14, 2025 05:09 PM (yTvNw)

346 So sorry to hear about Jewells. May she forever rest in peace.

Posted by: Retired, thank God! at April 14, 2025 05:55 PM (9BIt9)

347 Sorry to hear about Jewells. I always wanted to order some of her jewelry.

May she rest in peace and her family and loved ones find comfort and mercy at this time.

Posted by: SimoHayha at April 14, 2025 08:17 PM (qXL9c)

348 If you attack a Jewish person, it is not always because they were Jewish. Raging lefty mad at government. If Mike Pence were governor during his foreclosure he would have received the same treatment, probably.

Posted by: Kyle at April 14, 2025 09:13 PM (tsyjm)

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