Mid-Morning Art Thread

Diana Surprised
Jules Joseph Lefebvre

Posted by: CBD at 09:30 AM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 I have a First for knowledge.

Posted by: stu-mick-o-sucks at April 01, 2025 09:30 AM (w9Wax)

2 FIRST!!!!!

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at April 01, 2025 09:30 AM (Zz0t1)

3 nekkid

Posted by: rhennigantx at April 01, 2025 09:31 AM (gbOdA)

4 Why this IS a surprise.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at April 01, 2025 09:31 AM (Zz0t1)

5 Top 5!

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at April 01, 2025 09:31 AM (omVj0)

6 Embiggen FTW.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at April 01, 2025 09:31 AM (Zz0t1)

7 Embiggining is a sick trick, CBD!

Posted by: stu-mick-o-sucks at April 01, 2025 09:31 AM (w9Wax)

8 Meh.. Where's Ottoman man ?

Posted by: It's me donna at April 01, 2025 09:31 AM (VE6XX)

9 LOL

Posted by: Kris at April 01, 2025 09:31 AM (EwaUh)

10 Don't click on the pic. Trust me. Just enjoy it as it is.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at April 01, 2025 09:31 AM (omVj0)

11 Nooooooood!

Posted by: Lizzy at April 01, 2025 09:31 AM (Cki93)

12 PAR-tay, on!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar - THIS Year in Corsicana - again at April 01, 2025 09:32 AM (hOUT3)

13 Reminder......the female body has always been teh awesomes.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at April 01, 2025 09:32 AM (Zz0t1)

14 Artist Jules Joseph Lefebvre
Year 1879
Type Oil on canvas
Dimensions 279 cm × 371.5 cm (110 in × 146.3 in)
Location Museo Nacional de Bellas Artes, Buenos Aires

Posted by: rhennigantx at April 01, 2025 09:32 AM (gbOdA)

15 Bad, CBD! Very bad!

*whacks CBD on nose with rolled-up newspaper*

Posted by: Bulg at April 01, 2025 09:32 AM (77rzZ)

16 8 Meh.. Where's Ottoman man ?
Posted by: It's me donna at April 01, 2025 09:31 AM (VE6XX)

LOL... I knew he would be here

Posted by: It's me donna at April 01, 2025 09:32 AM (VE6XX)

17 Oh brother.

Posted by: nurse ratched at April 01, 2025 09:32 AM (6YJNM)

18 I always suspected CBD had a really mean streak...

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar - THIS Year in Corsicana - again at April 01, 2025 09:32 AM (hOUT3)

19 April Fools!

Posted by: redridinghood at April 01, 2025 09:33 AM (NpAcC)

20 We've got bush, we've got busy .
Vet stunning . Would hang, in a museum
Thx CBD

Posted by: Smell the Glove at April 01, 2025 09:33 AM (2ZThz)

21 >>Don't click on the pic. Trust me. Just enjoy it as it is.

I don't get it

Posted by: Lena Dunham at April 01, 2025 09:33 AM (Cki93)

22 I'm guessing this is about the hunter who saw her bathing and she killed him for it.

Posted by: NR Pax at April 01, 2025 09:33 AM (NR6c1)

23 Meh.. Where's Ottoman man ?
Posted by: It's me donna at April 01, 2025 09:31 AM (VE6XX)

Should one do the click
One might be sick
Others will be mad
Some will have the sad

Ottoman Shave

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Cancer at April 01, 2025 09:33 AM (Zz0t1)

24 Surprise Surprise Surprise

Posted by: rhennigantx at April 01, 2025 09:33 AM (gbOdA)

25 Diana = Artemis. Wasn't there a story that a mortal hunter surprised Artemis at her bath, and she turned him into a stag? I guess she didn't find his looking to be flattering, possibly because he was no Adonis.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at April 01, 2025 09:33 AM (omVj0)

26 You should have posted with my nic, you magnificent bastard!

Posted by: Admiral Ackbar at April 01, 2025 09:33 AM (TAWF1)

27 It's an April 1st surprise.

Posted by: dantesed at April 01, 2025 09:33 AM (Oy/m2)

28 Damn paparazzi again. Can't a woman bathe nude surrounded by a bunch of nude dancers in privacy?

Posted by: stu-mick-o-sucks at April 01, 2025 09:33 AM (w9Wax)

29 Not shown: Off to the viewer's left, a 'man' approaching holding up a can of Hunt's tomato paste.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at April 01, 2025 09:34 AM (a3Q+t)

30 Oh, and the hunter, transformed into a stag, was then chased and pulled down by his own hunting dogs. Kind of an extreme punishment for accidentally catching a glimpse of a goddess. But then, the Olympians were capricious.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius, Dreaming of Elsewhere at April 01, 2025 09:34 AM (omVj0)

31 CBD should have used a link shortener for the clickable link.

Spoilers.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to the finish with Corman at April 01, 2025 09:34 AM (GBKbO)

32 Diana doesn’t look so dirty to me. I guess all the other naked ladies washed her off in the stream.

Posted by: Zombie Michael Jackson at April 01, 2025 09:35 AM (TAWF1)

33 Watery tarts!

Posted by: Lizzy at April 01, 2025 09:35 AM (Cki93)

34 Well can't tell if Diana here is a real redhead or not because, well, you know.

Posted by: 18-1 at April 01, 2025 09:35 AM (t0Rmr)

35 Where's a hardass French judge when you really need one?

Posted by: Bulg at April 01, 2025 09:36 AM (77rzZ)

36 Great is Diana of the Ephesians!

Posted by: Acts 19:24-34 at April 01, 2025 09:36 AM (G5+As)

37 boobs

Posted by: Grump928(C) at April 01, 2025 09:38 AM (jc0TO)

38 25 Diana = Artemis. Wasn't there a story that a mortal hunter surprised Artemis at her bath, and she turned him into a stag? I guess she didn't find his looking to be flattering, possibly because he was no Adonis.
Posted by:

There is a deer on the right edge of the ladies. They don't have any weapons, but it looks dead. Death by snu-snu? If so, the hunter's thinking it was worth it.

Posted by: Moron Analyst at April 01, 2025 09:38 AM (TAWF1)

39 TBH I don't think he did a great job with Diana's face. The woman kneeling in front of her is better done.

Posted by: 18-1 at April 01, 2025 09:38 AM (t0Rmr)

40 There is a deer on the right edge of the ladies. They don't have any weapons, but it looks dead. Death by snu-snu? If so, the hunter's thinking it was worth it.
Posted by: Moron Analyst

They done loved him up and turned him into a...deer.

Posted by: Bulg at April 01, 2025 09:39 AM (77rzZ)

41 I wanted to zoom in on angry clothed girl on the right, but I guess it's not to be. Barf!

Posted by: She Hobbit (out and about in Middle Earth) at April 01, 2025 09:39 AM (8CiiM)

42 It's the story from Book III of The Metamorphoses, by Ovid. A young hunter, Actaeon, sees Diana bathing with her nymphs. Diana punishes him for his indecency (he probably ought to have turned away) by turning him into a stag, and he is killed by his own hunting dogs. Not for nothing, the story has the best list of dog names.

https://www.poetryintranslation.com

"While he hesitates his dogs catch sight of him. First ‘Black-foot’, Melampus, and keen-scented Ichnobates, ‘Tracker’, signal him with baying, Ichnobates out of Crete, Melampus, Sparta. Then others rush at him swift as the wind, ‘Greedy’, Pamphagus, Dorceus, ‘Gazelle’, Oribasos, ‘Mountaineer’, all out of Arcady: powerful ‘Deerslayer’, Nebrophonos, savage Theron, ‘Whirlwind’, and Laelape, ‘Hunter’.

Then swift-footed Pterelas, ‘Wings’, and trail-scenting Agre, ‘Chaser’, fierce Hylaeus, ‘Woody’, lately gored by a boar, the wolf-born Nape, ‘Valley’, Poemenis, the trusty ‘Shepherd’, and Harpyia, ‘Snatcher’, with her two pups. There is thin-flanked Sicyonian Ladon, ‘Catcher’, Dromas, ‘Runner’, ‘Grinder’, Canache, Sticte ‘Spot’, Tigris ‘Tigress’, Alce, ‘Strong’, and white-haired Leucon, ‘Whitey’, and black-haired Asbolus, ‘Soot’.

Posted by: Smallish Bees at April 01, 2025 09:39 AM (xKjWc)

43 Link to the picture you can zoom in on: https://tinyurl.com/4j7ptv3j

Note, not a prank, its a wiki link

Posted by: 18-1 at April 01, 2025 09:40 AM (t0Rmr)

44 Embiggining is a sick trick, CBD!

Posted by: stu-mick-o-sucks at April 01, 2025 09:31 AM (w9Wax)

I have no idea what you are talking about!

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at April 01, 2025 09:40 AM (L5An7)

45 She doesn't look surprised at all.

She's gaslighting!

Posted by: San Franpsycho at April 01, 2025 09:40 AM (RIvkX)

46 CBD, you are a sick, sick bastard.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing (aka Eloquent Depression) at April 01, 2025 09:40 AM (Q0kLU)

47 Embiggining is a sick trick, CBD!

Posted by: stu-mick-o-sucks at April 01, 2025 09:31 AM (w9Wax)

I have no idea what you are talking about!

The image on the main page: Fanny in the British sense

The image if you embiggen: Fanny in the American sense

Posted by: 18-1 at April 01, 2025 09:41 AM (t0Rmr)

48 The white ottoman is no longer white.

Posted by: redridinghood at April 01, 2025 09:42 AM (NpAcC)

49 "Hello, is this Elon? Hi, Elon, how's it going? Listen, there's this guy I know, last name of Dildo. I have it on good authority that he's been using USAID grant money to fund his anti-western war against maple syrup on French toast. I think you should have Big Balls look into it. Thanks."

Posted by: Bulg at April 01, 2025 09:42 AM (77rzZ)

50 She doesn't look surprised at all.

She's gaslighting!

Oh no Step demi-god, I'm stuck in this bathing pond.

Wait what are you doing Step Demi-god?

Posted by: Scenes from OF 500 BC at April 01, 2025 09:42 AM (t0Rmr)

51 I wanted to zoom in on angry clothed girl on the right, but I guess it's not to be. Barf!
Posted by: She Hobbit (out and about in Middle Earth) at April 01, 2025 09:39 AM (8CiiM)

Safe copy for zooming. https://tinyurl.com/ywdpy9hh+

Posted by: I used to have a different nic at April 01, 2025 09:43 AM (ExV1e)

52 DO NOT CLICK ON THE ABOVE PICTURE TO ENLARGE IT!!!

Posted by: rickb223 at April 01, 2025 09:43 AM (PD1tO)

53 Posted by: I used to have a different nic at April 01, 2025 09:43 AM (ExV1e)

I could be evil...

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at April 01, 2025 09:44 AM (L5An7)

54 DO NOT CLICK ON THE ABOVE PICTURE TO ENLARGE IT!!!

Posted by: rickb223 at April 01, 2025 09:43 AM

Too late! Sick bastard.

Posted by: Mister Scott (Formerly GWS) at April 01, 2025 09:45 AM (e5NfL)

55 Why are there no tattoos on any of those women?

Posted by: Gen Zer at April 01, 2025 09:45 AM (a3Q+t)

56 you know what's worse than breaking the 100 comment rule?

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at April 01, 2025 09:45 AM (VofaG)

57 Wakes up
Scratches
Looks around
Dang. Embiggening looks a lot like the changing room after Geezer Golf. With any luck some of the old dudes will still be tired from unpacking their Winnebagos after winter in Arizona and I can score a few bucks.
Goes looking for coffee.

Posted by: Diogenes at April 01, 2025 09:45 AM (W/lyH)

58 By thundersnow? Because that's what we're dealing with this morning.

Posted by: pookysgirl now has AC/DC stuck in her head at April 01, 2025 09:45 AM (Wt5PA)

59 Diana kinda has man-face. Jus' sayin'.

Posted by: Bulg at April 01, 2025 09:45 AM (77rzZ)

60 Note, not a prank, its a wiki link
Posted by: 18-1

Thanks!

And now I can see the careful details on the buns.

The hair buns.

Posted by: She Hobbit (out and about in Middle Earth) at April 01, 2025 09:46 AM (8CiiM)

61 I could be evil...

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at April 01, 2025 09:44 AM (L5An7)

CBD interacting with commenters...

https://youtu.be/gYxEIyNA_mk?t=51

Posted by: I used to have a different nic at April 01, 2025 09:47 AM (ExV1e)

62 53 I could be evil...

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at April 01, 2025 09:44 AM (L5An7)

======

Chaotic evil are just looking for a good time.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to the finish with Corman at April 01, 2025 09:47 AM (GBKbO)

63 CBD, you magnificent bastard! I clicked to embiggen and...well...FML

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at April 01, 2025 09:47 AM (3Ope8)

64
Diana Surprised

The goddess of the hunt and the moon
Caused many a Greek soldier to swoon
But she really got a shock
When a sergeant picked the lock
And admitted an entire platoon

Posted by: muldoon at April 01, 2025 09:48 AM (/iMjX)

65 After zooming in I notice Diana has a half moon on her head but it doesn't look like it is attached

Posted by: 18-1 at April 01, 2025 09:48 AM (t0Rmr)

66 Actually, I find the fat guy to be more worthy of conversation than all the naked chicks. All you guys out there drooling and getting all woody about the boobs are getting a little boring.

Plus, if the women talked about the female form, you wouldnt call us fags….. why can you not also observe the male form without turning into homophobic 12 year olds.

Be better.

Posted by: nurse ratched at April 01, 2025 09:48 AM (6YJNM)

67 And now I can see the careful details on the buns.

The hair buns.
Posted by: She Hobbit (out and about in Middle Earth) at April 01, 2025 09:46 AM

Those are more stylishly referred to as 'stylish updos'.

Posted by: Lena Dunham at April 01, 2025 09:48 AM (a3Q+t)

68 one thing that's almost impossible to do is find a significant event/subject/verse in the Bible that has not been painted. Multiple times

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at April 01, 2025 09:49 AM (VofaG)

69 Lines 3 & 4 of Muldoon's famlous Unfinished Limerick

Her Roman counterpart Artemis
Was built like a hippopartamus

Posted by: muldoon at April 01, 2025 09:50 AM (/iMjX)

70 one thing that's almost impossible to do is find a significant event/subject/verse in the Bible that has not been painted. Multiple times
Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth

Or classical mythology.

Posted by: Bulg at April 01, 2025 09:50 AM (77rzZ)

71 The art....

Naked women in a puddle. Some poor hunter was executed for accidentally seeing this. The colors are muddy, the lighting is bad, and the broads that are well hidden from view are the only ones dressed. If the full frontal ginger is Diana..... Weren't Goddesses supposed to be beautiful? Her face is....... Not beautiful. Actually she's homely. Homely and vicious for murdering an innocent hunter.
At least the naked guy on the ottoman is well lit. Interesting colors too.

All in all it's...... Whatever.

Posted by: Madame Mayhem (uppity wench) at April 01, 2025 09:50 AM (4XwPj)

72 It’s Tummy Rub Tuesday!

Best day of the week!

Posted by: nurse ratched at April 01, 2025 09:50 AM (6YJNM)

73 why can you not also observe the male form without turning into homophobic 12 year olds.

Do you wanna hear guys commenting on the naked male form? I bet the answer is no. Because that's just ghey.

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at April 01, 2025 09:52 AM (3Ope8)

74 Posted by: nurse ratched at April 01, 2025 09:48 AM (6YJNM)

So are you saying you find Ottoman guy attractive?

Posted by: Bulg at April 01, 2025 09:52 AM (77rzZ)

75 Well, it is April 1st.
Be careful today, people.Tricks abound.
As for the painting, mot a fan.
Just doesn not see that sensual and that is an u flattering depiction of Diana. The Huntress, right? She should be more defined.

Posted by: Sharon(willow's apprentice) at April 01, 2025 09:53 AM (t/2Uw)

76 why can you not also observe the male form without turning into homophobic 12 year olds.

Do you wanna hear guys commenting on the naked male form? I bet the answer is no. Because that's just ghey.
Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at April 01, 2025 09:52 AM (3Ope

Look at the way the artist used the light source to enhance the doods ballsack.

Posted by: BruceWayne at April 01, 2025 09:54 AM (MGB5H)

77 Lawful God: I'd give you a link to the picture but its too naughty

Neutral Good: Here's a link to the picture

Chaotic Good: Here's a link to the picture...do you dare click it?!?! (its actually a link to the picture)

Lawful Neutral: Come on people use a search engine

True Neutral: Wow I googled this painting and those women are lookin' good

Chaotic Neutral: Here's a link (it goes to the google I'm feeling lucky link)

Lawful Evil: CBD

Neutral Evil: CBD

Chaotic Evil : CBD

Posted by: 18-1 at April 01, 2025 09:54 AM (t0Rmr)

78 Actually, I find the fat guy to be more worthy of conversation than all the naked chicks. All you guys out there drooling and getting all woody about the boobs are getting a little boring.

Meh. I don't care about the fat guy since I can get that view any day of the week just by positioning mirrors the right way in my bathroom. I do not get to see boobs very often save in the pages of American Breast Enthusiast, so I will take them where I can find them.

Of course, the Parisian lady CBD posted last week was just my cup of tea - retrousse nose and wrapped up like a luscious box of candy.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing (aka Eloquent Depression) at April 01, 2025 09:54 AM (Q0kLU)

79 Posted by: 18-1 at April 01, 2025 09:54 AM (t0Rmr)

===

lol

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to the finish with Corman at April 01, 2025 09:54 AM (GBKbO)

80 Be better.
Posted by: nurse ratched

Calm down

Posted by: one hour sober at April 01, 2025 09:55 AM (Y1sOo)

81 one thing that's almost impossible to do is find a significant event/subject/verse in the Bible that has not been painted. Multiple times
Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth

Or classical mythology.
Posted by: Bulg at April 01, 2025 09:50 AM (77rzZ)

I know there are paintings of the Minotaur as well as ones of Zeus and Europa (or the swan). Has anyone ever done on of Queen Pasiphae and the bull?

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing (aka Eloquent Depression) at April 01, 2025 09:56 AM (Q0kLU)

82 Meh. I don't care about the fat guy since I can get that view any day of the week just by positioning mirrors the right way in my bathroom. I do not get to see boobs very often save in the pages of American Breast Enthusiast, so I will take them where I can find them.

Dude, I'm right here.

Posted by: The Internet at April 01, 2025 09:56 AM (JCZqz)

83 82 Dude, I'm right here.
Posted by: The Internet at April 01, 2025 09:56 AM (JCZqz)

=======

I don't get it.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to the finish with Corman at April 01, 2025 09:57 AM (GBKbO)

84 Meh. I don't care about the fat guy since I can get that view any day of the week just by positioning mirrors the right way in my bathroom. I do not get to see boobs very often save in the pages of American Breast Enthusiast, so I will take them where I can find them.

Of course, the Parisian lady CBD posted last week was just my cup of tea - retrousse nose and wrapped up like a luscious box of candy.
Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing (aka Eloquent Depression) at April 01, 2025 09:54 AM (Q0k
***

Comments pause while the 'rons google American Breast Enthusiast.

Posted by: Diogenes at April 01, 2025 09:57 AM (W/lyH)

85 as a Ottoman Man palate cleanser I recommend googling Van Gogh Museum 4K Virtual tour vid.

Fantastic especially the music paired with it.

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at April 01, 2025 09:57 AM (VofaG)

86 Has anyone ever done on of Queen Pasiphae and the bull?
Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing

I volunteer! I know the perfect model for Pashiphae!
-- David French

Posted by: Bulg at April 01, 2025 09:57 AM (77rzZ)

87 Has anyone ever done a painting based on the Epic of Gilgamesh?

Posted by: Bulg at April 01, 2025 09:58 AM (77rzZ)

88 Wasn't there a story that a mortal hunter surprised Artemis at her bath

*********

The Eyeful Shower

Posted by: muldoon at April 01, 2025 09:58 AM (/iMjX)

89 Meh. It's no "Benefits Supervisor Sleeping".

IYKYK

Posted by: Pete in Texas at April 01, 2025 09:59 AM (BHrzb)

90 Surprised?

I see no river otters in that painting.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at April 01, 2025 10:00 AM (kgE5c)

91 80>> Aaaand that's when the fight started...

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at April 01, 2025 10:00 AM (3Ope8)

92 But then, the Olympians were capricious

A polite way of saying they were jerks. Not as bad as the Aztec gods but still up there.

Posted by: NR Pax at April 01, 2025 10:00 AM (NR6c1)

93 92 But then, the Olympians were capricious

A polite way of saying they were jerks. Not as bad as the Aztec gods but still up there.
Posted by: NR Pax at April 01, 2025 10:00 AM (NR6c1)

=======

Kratos did nothing wrong!

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to the finish with Corman at April 01, 2025 10:01 AM (GBKbO)

94 "Wanderer Above the Sea of Fog" would be a good MMAT

Posted by: Elric Blade at April 01, 2025 10:01 AM (iFTx/)

95 But then, the Olympians were capricious

I suspect most if not all of them were real warlords and rulers. So they were just like the people that worshiped them...

Posted by: 18-1 at April 01, 2025 10:02 AM (t0Rmr)

96 "Surprised"? Like one of the girls whipped out his dick?

Posted by: Elric Blade at April 01, 2025 10:02 AM (iFTx/)

97 Full figured womenz!! Then I clicked to enlarge.
Bastard.

Posted by: Maj. Healey at April 01, 2025 10:02 AM (/U5Yz)

98 *Comments pause while the 'rons google American Breast Enthusiast.*

You know about the cup sizes?

Posted by: Frank Costanza at April 01, 2025 10:02 AM (dg+HA)

99 100

Posted by: rhennigantx at April 01, 2025 10:02 AM (gbOdA)

100 Kratos did nothing wrong!
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to the finish with Corman

Agreed. Now get me started on Medusa getting wronged by Poseidon and Athena.

Posted by: NR Pax at April 01, 2025 10:02 AM (NR6c1)

101 4/1/54

Air Force Academy Created.

Posted by: rhennigantx at April 01, 2025 10:03 AM (gbOdA)

102 But then, the Olympians were capricious

A polite way of saying they were jerks. Not as bad as the Aztec gods but still up there.
Posted by: NR Pax

The Norse gods could've kicked all their asses. They were the Tim Walzes of pagan polytheism.

Posted by: Bulg at April 01, 2025 10:03 AM (77rzZ)

103 Wasn't this in Star Trek episode 3, season 8 "Who Mourns For The Troon?" where Kirk surprised a Troon doing Troon things and Spock had to have sex with the Troon or face the Pon Fagg.

Posted by: Star Wars Nerd Still Living In Mom's House at April 01, 2025 10:03 AM (R/m4+)

104 Would have bee cool if Caravaggio would have painted Jason fighting the skeleton army like in the movies.

That I would hang.

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at April 01, 2025 10:03 AM (VofaG)

105 So ... did everyone just wander around nekkid back in the say, like all these paintings suggest they did?

Posted by: Elric Blade at April 01, 2025 10:03 AM (iFTx/)

106 It seems like pretty much every other "discovered bathing" event in Greek mythology ends up with sexy time.

Guess Diana just didn't have her hart in it...

Posted by: 18-1 at April 01, 2025 10:03 AM (t0Rmr)

107 Speaking of capricious gods, I remember a story from Hawthorne's A Wonder Book, where Mercury and Apollo (I think) were traveling disguised as mortals and, when looking for lodging and a place to eat in town, were brusquely refused.

At the edge of town was a small cottage where an old farmer and his wife welcomed the two strangers and offered them all they had to eat - a small jug of milk and two pieces of fish.

The next morning, the gods revealed themselves and showed the couple the reward for their hospitality - a jug that was always full and the town turned into a giant lake, with all the inhabitants into fishes, so the couple would never go hungry again.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing (aka Eloquent Depression) at April 01, 2025 10:04 AM (Q0kLU)

108 So ... did everyone just wander around nekkid back in the say, like all these paintings suggest they did?

In warmer climates it wasn't uncommon. But more the men than the women.

Posted by: 18-1 at April 01, 2025 10:04 AM (t0Rmr)

109 But more the men than the women.
Posted by: 18-1

Especially in Greece.

Posted by: Bulg at April 01, 2025 10:05 AM (77rzZ)

110 https://is.gd/m7P17b

Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at April 01, 2025 10:06 AM (ZVgZ4)

111 4/1/54

Air Force Academy Created.
Posted by: rhennigantx at April 01, 2025 10:03 AM (gbOdA)

Only took them seven years. Why did they wait so long?

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at April 01, 2025 10:07 AM (VofaG)

112 Being Better here Boss!

**************

Portrait of the Limericist as an Old Mann

Knobby knees and a prominent belly
That shakes like a bowlful of jelly
Hair only grows
From his ears and his nose
In his recliner, eating chips by the telly

Posted by: muldoon at April 01, 2025 10:07 AM (/iMjX)

113 The dark haired girl in the middle has some arches that would put the Gateway Arch to shame.

Posted by: Maj. Healey at April 01, 2025 10:07 AM (/U5Yz)

114 Is errbody ready for liberation day?

Posted by: Its Go Time Donald at April 01, 2025 10:07 AM (A+/01)

115 You know, if you want to bathe, as opposed to merely washing, one must undress.

Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at April 01, 2025 10:08 AM (ZVgZ4)

116 Chick with a snake around her bicep?
Run away!!

Posted by: Most guys at April 01, 2025 10:08 AM (dg+HA)

117
*blushes*

Posted by: Zombie Bob Ross at April 01, 2025 10:10 AM (EFZgU)

118 Odd positioning for the characters. The girl at Diana's feet looks like she's staring right at Diana's snatch. Yes, I get it that the girl is closer to the foreground and looking past Diana at whatever surprised them (Harvey Weinstein? Dylan Mulvaney? Lizzo?).

Posted by: Elric Blade at April 01, 2025 10:10 AM (iFTx/)

119 *blushes*

Posted by: Zombie Bob Ross at April 01, 2025 10:10 AM (EFZgU)

Happy little tree > Happy little bush

Posted by: 18-1 at April 01, 2025 10:10 AM (t0Rmr)

120 So the hunter appears and Diana turns him into a deer - and we see his remains to the right. So why are they looking to the left?

Posted by: 18-1 at April 01, 2025 10:11 AM (t0Rmr)

121 119 *blushes*

Posted by: Zombie Bob Ross at April 01, 2025 10:10 AM (EFZgU)

Happy little tree > Happy little bush
Posted by: 18-1

tap tap tap >> Happy little tree > Happy little bush

Posted by: Maj. Healey at April 01, 2025 10:11 AM (/U5Yz)

122 *blushes*

Posted by: Zombie Bob Ross at April 01, 2025 10:10 AM (EFZgU)

weird to me now that I'm over 29 that Bob Ross died when he was only 52.

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at April 01, 2025 10:12 AM (VofaG)

123 29 Not shown: Off to the viewer's left, a 'man' approaching holding up a can of Hunt's tomato paste.
Posted by: Duncanthrax at April 01, 2025 09:34 AM (a3Q+t)

A reference to the report in the last thread about trans men inserting tomato paste up their butt to mimic a period?

I'm just "ketching-up" with the Morning Report but I can't believe nobody has yet made a "Fart -Clamato" joke.

Posted by: Rex B at April 01, 2025 10:13 AM (bhV/D)

124 So the hunter appears and Diana turns him into a deer - and we see his remains to the right. So why are they looking to the left?
Posted by: 18-1

The hunter that got cheated out of that deer has his barrel trained on them.

Posted by: Bulg at April 01, 2025 10:14 AM (77rzZ)

125 Happy little tree > Happy little bush

Needs a small cottage with light shining from a window

Posted by: zombie Thomas Kinkade at April 01, 2025 10:14 AM (Y1sOo)

126 weird to me now that I'm over 29 that Bob Ross died when he was only 52.
Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at April 01, 2025 10:12 AM (VofaG)

*Zombie Roy Orbison has entered the chat*

Posted by: Doof at April 01, 2025 10:15 AM (KW6fN)

127 FOOD!

Posted by: Bulg at April 01, 2025 10:15 AM (77rzZ)

128 Trump & State Department Slam France for Le Pen Ban—Expose Political Persecution

US condemns the exclusion of Le Pen from the political process and urges the European countries to uphold free speech and freedom in the political process.

— US State Department, Tammy Bruce

Posted by: Maj. Healey at April 01, 2025 10:15 AM (/U5Yz)

129 I think the ladies would like the Air Force version of Bob Ross without the Fro. He looks completely different.

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at April 01, 2025 10:16 AM (VofaG)

130 What's the u-shaped thing about Diana's forehead?

Posted by: Ok, I'll ask at April 01, 2025 10:16 AM (dg+HA)

131 126 *Zombie Roy Orbison has entered the chat*
Posted by: Doof at April 01, 2025 10:15 AM (KW6fN)

=======

Oh...that guy from the Blue Velvet soundtrack as covered by Dean Stockwell.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to the finish with Corman at April 01, 2025 10:16 AM (GBKbO)

132 Only took them seven years. Why did they wait so long?
Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at April 01, 2025 10:07 AM

Well...Air Force, so probably a lot of golf.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at April 01, 2025 10:16 AM (kgE5c)

133 A reference to the report in the last thread about trans men inserting tomato paste up their butt to mimic a period?

I'm just "ketching-up" with the Morning Report but I can't believe nobody has yet made a "Fart -Clamato" joke.
Posted by: Rex B at April 01, 2025 10:13 AM (bhV/D)

I thought trans men got the addadicktome procedure? Therefore trans women would do the tomato paste up the tailpipe trick. Right?

Posted by: Doof at April 01, 2025 10:17 AM (KW6fN)

134 What's the u-shaped thing about Diana's forehead?
Posted by: Ok, I'll ask

Crescent moon, I would guess. I think Diana was the moon goddess, as her brother Apollo was the sun god.

Posted by: Bulg at April 01, 2025 10:17 AM (77rzZ)

135 reference to the report in the last thread about trans men inserting tomato paste up their butt to mimic a period?

—

Yeah totally not mentally ill.

Posted by: Its Go Time Donald at April 01, 2025 10:18 AM (A+/01)

136 Oh...that guy from the Blue Velvet soundtrack as covered by Dean Stockwell.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to the finish with Corman at April 01, 2025 10:16 AM (GBKbO)

Dean Stockwell and I share a birthday.
I enjoyed the original Quantum Leap with him in it.

Posted by: Doof at April 01, 2025 10:19 AM (KW6fN)

137 Typical. Chicks act provocatively in public and freak the fuck out when the "wrong" guy looks.

Posted by: Story older than the hills at April 01, 2025 10:20 AM (mYVyx)

138 Wait! When I clicked the image ....

Posted by: m at April 01, 2025 10:20 AM (CQE5S)

139 Happy little tree > Happy little bush

Needs a small cottage with light shining from a window
Posted by: zombie Thomas Kinkade at April 01, 2025 10:14 AM (Y1sOo)

Little pink houses, for you and me.

Posted by: John Mellencamp at April 01, 2025 10:20 AM (Aqu9a)

140 I thought trans men got the addadicktome procedure? Therefore trans women would do the tomato paste up the tailpipe trick. Right?
Posted by: Doof at April 01, 2025 10:17 AM (KW6fN)

They're still men.

Posted by: Rex B at April 01, 2025 10:21 AM (bhV/D)

141 Wasn't this in Star Trek episode 3, season 8 "Who Mourns For The Troon?" where Kirk surprised a Troon doing Troon things and Spock had to have sex with the Troon or face the Pon Fagg.
Posted by: Star Wars Nerd Still Living In Mom's House at April 01, 2025 10:03 AM (R/m4+)
====

Shut up, Wesley.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at April 01, 2025 10:21 AM (RIvkX)

142 Happy little tree > Happy little bush

Needs a small cottage with light shining from a window
Posted by: zombie Thomas Kinkade at April 01, 2025 10:14 AM (Y1sOo)

literally the two most popular artists in History based on viewership or paintings sold / hung in homes and neither one of them have any works hung in any museum of significance.

I don't know what that says but it says something.

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at April 01, 2025 10:21 AM (VofaG)

143 stag, therefore art

Posted by: m at April 01, 2025 10:21 AM (CQE5S)

144 136 Dean Stockwell and I share a birthday.
I enjoyed the original Quantum Leap with him in it.
Posted by: Doof at April 01, 2025 10:19 AM (KW6fN)

====

How did you share? Did he get half the day?

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to the finish with Corman at April 01, 2025 10:21 AM (GBKbO)

145 Let's fix the typo:

130 What's the u-shaped thing above Diana's forehead?

Posted by: Ok, I'll ask at April 01, 2025 10:22 AM (dg+HA)

146 What's the u-shaped thing about Diana's forehead?
Posted by: Ok, I'll ask

Antenna.

Posted by: WZUS, The Lightning! Bring in the best in bouzouki! at April 01, 2025 10:22 AM (mYVyx)

147 literally the two most popular artists in History based on viewership or paintings sold / hung in homes and neither one of them have any works hung in any museum of significance.

I don't know what that says but it says something.
Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at April 01, 2025 10:21 AM

Give it one or two hundred years.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at April 01, 2025 10:22 AM (kgE5c)

148 Happy little tree > Happy little bush

Needs a small cottage with light shining from a window
Posted by: zombie Thomas Kinkade at April 01, 2025 10:14 AM (Y1sOo)

literally the two most popular artists in History based on viewership or paintings sold / hung in homes and neither one of them have any works hung in any museum of significance.

I don't know what that says but it says something.
Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at April 01, 2025 10:21 AM (VofaG)

It means they won the popular vote but not the electoral college

Posted by: Doof at April 01, 2025 10:23 AM (KW6fN)

149 I can't think of "Diana" as a nymph.

Every Diana is a greyhound!

Posted by: San Franpsycho at April 01, 2025 10:23 AM (RIvkX)

150 130 What's the u-shaped thing above Diana's forehead?
Posted by: Ok, I'll ask

See me at 134.

Posted by: Bulg at April 01, 2025 10:23 AM (77rzZ)

151 literally the two most popular artists in History based on viewership or paintings sold / hung in homes and neither one of them have any works hung in any museum of significance.

I don't know what that says but it says something.
Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at April 01, 2025 10:21 AM (VofaG)

There's two kinds of people. Artfags and normies. Way more normies than artfags.

Posted by: And the artfags just pretend to like it at April 01, 2025 10:23 AM (mYVyx)

152 It's a bit of a stag party.

Posted by: m at April 01, 2025 10:23 AM (CQE5S)

153 What's the u-shaped thing about Diana's forehead?
Posted by: Ok, I'll ask

Antenna.
Posted by: WZUS

Early deely-boppers.

Posted by: Bulg at April 01, 2025 10:24 AM (77rzZ)

154 osted by: RedMindBlueState at April 01, 2025 10:22 AM (kgE5c)

Hey their both dead. That should cut the time in half at least.

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at April 01, 2025 10:24 AM (VofaG)

155 What's the u-shaped thing about Diana's forehead?
Posted by: Ok, I'll ask

High arch girls IUD?

Posted by: Maj. Healey at April 01, 2025 10:24 AM (/U5Yz)

156 They're = their

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at April 01, 2025 10:24 AM (VofaG)

157 Every Diana is a greyhound!
Posted by: San Franpsycho

Wasn't Diana the name of one of Hadrian VII's borzois?

Posted by: Bulg at April 01, 2025 10:25 AM (77rzZ)

158 What's the u-shaped thing about Diana's forehead?

Obviously its her Deer-in-ator!

You people, its like you forget everything I teach you. And that reminds me did I ever tell you about the time...

Posted by: Heinz Doofenschmirtz at April 01, 2025 10:25 AM (t0Rmr)

159
Portrait of the Limericist as an Old Man Part 2

I'll admit that the bloom's off the blossom
I've a face like an anorexic possum
But it's axiomatic
That up in my attic
Is a portrait of me looking awesome!!

Posted by: muldoon at April 01, 2025 10:26 AM (/iMjX)

160 There used to be a princess named Diana. What ever happened to her?

Posted by: When I was much younger at April 01, 2025 10:27 AM (dg+HA)

161 Obviously its her Deer-in-ator!

You people, its like you forget everything I teach you. And that reminds me did I ever tell you about the time...
Posted by: Heinz Doofenschmirtz

So, the ladies are looking at Perry the Platypus?

Posted by: Bulg at April 01, 2025 10:27 AM (77rzZ)

162 Hey their both dead. That should cut the time in half at least.
Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at April 01, 2025 10:24 AM

That's a prerequisite. I think of it as starting the clock.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at April 01, 2025 10:27 AM (kgE5c)

163 More winning.

Thousands of federal employees who were forced to return to their offices in recent weeks have made some disgusting discoveries - including a lack of toilet paper and rodents.

Posted by: Maj. Healey at April 01, 2025 10:27 AM (/U5Yz)

164 Surprise otters.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at April 01, 2025 10:28 AM (zZu0s)

165 There used to be a princess named Diana. What ever happened to her?
Posted by: When I was much younger

Nobody really knows. She just kinda fayeded away.

Too soon?

Posted by: Bulg at April 01, 2025 10:28 AM (77rzZ)

166 Thousands of federal employees who were forced to return to their offices in recent weeks have made some disgusting discoveries - including a lack of toilet paper and rodents.
Posted by: Maj. Healey at April 01, 2025 10:27 AM

Can you imagine what the office fridges looked like?

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at April 01, 2025 10:28 AM (kgE5c)

167 Can you imagine what the office fridges looked like?
Posted by: RedMindBlueState

Gack.

Posted by: Maj. Healey at April 01, 2025 10:29 AM (/U5Yz)

168 Fake news. There's no lack of rodents in DC

Posted by: Rats as big as cats at April 01, 2025 10:29 AM (dg+HA)

169 >>You people, its like you forget everything I teach you....

Aglet!

https://tinyurl.com/bdzzz7nv

Posted by: Lizzy at April 01, 2025 10:29 AM (Cki93)

170 Thousands of federal employees who were forced to return to their offices in recent weeks have made some disgusting discoveries - including a lack of toilet paper and rodents.
Posted by: Maj. Healey at April 01, 2025 10:27 AM (/U5Yz)

How long before a judge orders all of them to work remotely again?

Posted by: Its Go Time Donald at April 01, 2025 10:30 AM (A+/01)

171 Why is Cory Booker doing a filibuster?

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to the finish with Corman at April 01, 2025 10:30 AM (GBKbO)

172 Apparently, among the AWFLs, the new thing is "Silent Riot."

Now you may be saying, "You mean, Quiet Riot, the metal band from the 80's?"

And others of you may be saying, "no no, "White Riot" by The Clash."

Eh, you might as well all be right. It's just another stupid "insider" thing they're doing that is "oh sooooo clever."
Like the pearl necklace when Kamala was sworn as VP.
Or the one where they were wearing blue or bracelets or shaving their heads? I can't recall, lotta stupid shit.
There was, I guess, also "winter boots?"

Posted by: People's Hippo Voice at April 01, 2025 10:30 AM (m77VT)

173 Use the rodents to wipe your butt. Problem solved.

Posted by: Bulg at April 01, 2025 10:30 AM (77rzZ)

174 *Nobody really knows. She just kinda fayeded away.*

Tunnel vision?

Posted by: Not too soon at April 01, 2025 10:30 AM (dg+HA)

175 >>Thousands of federal employees who were forced to return to their offices in recent weeks have made some disgusting discoveries - including a lack of toilet paper and rodents.

*looks away sheepishly*
-- Denver EPA

Posted by: Lizzy at April 01, 2025 10:30 AM (Cki93)

176 More winning.

Thousands of federal employees who were forced to return to their offices in recent weeks have made some disgusting discoveries - including a lack of toilet paper and rodents.

Posted by: Maj. Healey at April 01, 2025 10:27 AM (/U5Yz)

---------------

I was fully expecting cartel gangs, homeless encampments, dead bodies, and cannibalism.

Oh well, a man can dream ...

Posted by: ShainS -- The Dissolution of The Autopen Empire at April 01, 2025 10:30 AM (he7fo)

177 >>Eh, you might as well all be right. It's just another stupid "insider" thing they're doing that is "oh sooooo clever."

Lace collars like RGB

Posted by: Lizzy at April 01, 2025 10:31 AM (Cki93)

178 What's the u-shaped thing about Diana's forehead?

Posted by: Ok, I'll ask at April 01, 2025 10:16 AM (dg+HA)

A stromboli.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at April 01, 2025 10:31 AM (L5An7)

179 Like the pearl necklace when Kamala was sworn as VP.

I gave her those once a week!

Posted by: Willy Brown at April 01, 2025 10:31 AM (t0Rmr)

180 Tunnel vision?
Posted by: Not too soon at April 01, 2025 10:30 AM

Why is Princess Di like a cell phone?

Posted by: one hour sober at April 01, 2025 10:32 AM (Y1sOo)

181 Saw a funny April fool headline. Warren Buffet buys Tesla in all cash $1T deal.

I can imagine the rage from some lefties who didn’t get it.

Posted by: Its Go Time Donald at April 01, 2025 10:32 AM (A+/01)

182 A reference to the report in the last thread about trans men inserting tomato paste up their butt to mimic a period?

Posted by: Rex B at April 01, 2025 10:13 AM (bhV/D)

Please tell me that is a joke.

Lie if you must.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at April 01, 2025 10:32 AM (L5An7)

183 137 Typical. Chicks act provocatively in public and freak the fuck out when the "wrong" guy looks.
Posted by: Story older than the hills

Almost as if we've seen that behavior before.

Posted by: NR Pax at April 01, 2025 10:33 AM (NR6c1)

184 and cannibalism.
Oh well, a man can dream ...
Posted by: ShainS

There are federal employees in the Sugar Bowl?

Posted by: Bulg at April 01, 2025 10:33 AM (77rzZ)

185 103 Wasn't this in Star Trek episode 3, season 8 "Who Mourns For The Troon?" where Kirk surprised a Troon doing Troon things and Spock had to have sex with the Troon or face the Pon Fagg.
Posted by: Star Wars Nerd Still Living In Mom's House

Someone's been on AO3 again. (If you don't know, you're probably better off)

Posted by: The Internet at April 01, 2025 10:33 AM (JCZqz)

186 173 Use the rodents to wipe your butt. Problem solved.
Posted by: Bulg

That's the spirit. Adapt and overcome.

Posted by: Maj. Healey at April 01, 2025 10:33 AM (/U5Yz)

187 Nobody really knows. She just kinda fayeded away.*

********

Her family received full pension because she died in the line of Dodi.

Posted by: muldoon at April 01, 2025 10:34 AM (/iMjX)

188 Why is Cory Booker doing a filibuster?
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to the finish with Corman at April 01, 2025 10:30 AM (GBKbO)

because the Left are insane.

I wish a Republican Senator would have his staff put together a spreadsheet of the insanity that is the American hating Lefty Dems and have our own mini filibuster to counter the Booker unhinged lies.

His peech is supposed to be how Trump is destroying America and hurting citizens. What a joke.

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at April 01, 2025 10:34 AM (VofaG)

189 A reference to the report in the last thread about trans men inserting tomato paste up their butt to mimic a period?

Posted by: Rex B at April 01, 2025 10:13 AM (bhV/D)

Please tell me that is a joke.

Lie if you must.
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo

You could change your nic to CharlieBrown'sTomatoPaste.

Posted by: Bulg at April 01, 2025 10:34 AM (77rzZ)

190 Speaking of rodents. I learned that Hawaii has no squirrels. Your useless fact of the day.

Posted by: Its Go Time Donald at April 01, 2025 10:34 AM (A+/01)

191 [snip]

There was, I guess, also "winter boots?"

Posted by: People's Hippo Voice at April 01, 2025 10:30 AM (m77VT)

--------------

I miss the good old days of free BJs ...
from the likes of Madonnas and Nina Burleighs.

/There's a limerick in there somewhere ...

Posted by: ShainS -- The Dissolution of The Autopen Empire at April 01, 2025 10:34 AM (he7fo)

192 182 A reference to the report in the last thread about trans men inserting tomato paste up their butt to mimic a period?

Posted by: Rex B at April 01, 2025 10:13 AM (bhV/D)

Please tell me that is a joke.

Lie if you must.
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo

Actually, it is not accurate. It is frozen tomato paste

Posted by: Maj. Healey at April 01, 2025 10:34 AM (/U5Yz)

193 188 His peech is supposed to be how Trump is destroying America and hurting citizens. What a joke.
Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at April 01, 2025 10:34 AM (VofaG)

======

"An MS-13 gang member from Maryland, also known as a Maryland father, is being deported by Trump even though he was ordered out 6 years ago and Biden's administration refused to deport him, sitting on an asylum claim for years, and that's bad for America."

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to the finish with Corman at April 01, 2025 10:35 AM (GBKbO)

194 173 Use the rodents to wipe your butt. Problem solved.
Posted by: Bulg

Just to wipe?!?!? What a waste.

Posted by: Pete Buttigieg at April 01, 2025 10:35 AM (JCZqz)

195 What's the u-shaped thing about Diana's forehead?

Posted by: Ok, I'll ask at April 01, 2025 10:16 AM (dg+HA)

A stromboli.
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at April 01, 2025 10:31 AM (L5An7)

Weird place to put a downdraft carburetor.

Posted by: Count de Monet at April 01, 2025 10:36 AM (Aqu9a)

196 Diana doesn't do much for me, but the little redhead front right looks nice.

Posted by: From about That Time at April 01, 2025 10:36 AM (n4GiU)

197 Speaking of rodents. I learned that Hawaii has no squirrels. Your useless fact of the day.
Posted by: Its Go Time Donald

Like many islands, it has no native mammals other than bats, pinnipeds, and cetaceans.

Posted by: Bulg at April 01, 2025 10:36 AM (77rzZ)

198 A reference to the report in the last thread about trans men inserting tomato paste up their butt to mimic a period?

Posted by: Rex B at April 01, 2025 10:13 AM (bhV/D)

Please tell me that is a joke.

Lie if you must.
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo

Actually, it is not accurate. It is frozen tomato paste
Posted by: Maj. Healey at April 01, 2025 10:34 AM (/U5Yz)
_______

This cannot be true. Not even for these insane perverts. Gotta be a sick April Fools joke.

Posted by: Elric Blade at April 01, 2025 10:36 AM (iFTx/)

199 We’ve gone from ms13 doesn’t really exist it’s just Fox News lies, to ok they exist but they’re productive members of society and fathers.

Posted by: Its Go Time Donald at April 01, 2025 10:37 AM (A+/01)

200 Speaking of rodents. I learned that Hawaii has no squirrels. Your useless fact of the day.

Posted by: Its Go Time Donald at April 01, 2025 10:34 AM (A+/01)

--------------

What would the Clampetts have eaten if, instead of Beverly Hills, they'd become the Hawaiian Hillbillies?

Posted by: ShainS -- The Dissolution of The Autopen Empire at April 01, 2025 10:37 AM (he7fo)

201 This cannot be true. Not even for these insane perverts. Gotta be a sick April Fools joke.
Posted by: Elric Blade

Given the insanity of our time, I can, in fact, believe that it is true.

Posted by: Bulg at April 01, 2025 10:38 AM (77rzZ)

202 Speaking of rodents. I learned that Hawaii has no squirrels. Your useless fact of the day.
Posted by: Its Go Time Donald

Like many islands, it has no native mammals other than bats, pinnipeds, and cetaceans.
Posted by: Bulg at April 01, 2025 10:36 AM (77rzZ)
____

And there are no snakes in Ireland. Never were. St Patrick was just drunk leading a group of drunk naked guys with their dicks waving around.

Posted by: Elric Blade at April 01, 2025 10:38 AM (iFTx/)

203 Just to wipe?!?!? What a waste.
Posted by: Pete Buttigieg

I know, right?
-- Richard Gere

Posted by: Bulg at April 01, 2025 10:38 AM (77rzZ)

204 Layoffs have started at the HHS.

Will we make it to the end of the day without a new order from another judge-king?

Posted by: People's Hippo Voice at April 01, 2025 10:39 AM (m77VT)

205 These gals are all acting like they’re virgins or something.

Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit at April 01, 2025 10:39 AM (ZVgZ4)

206 201 Given the insanity of our time, I can, in fact, believe that it is true.
Posted by: Bulg at April 01, 2025 10:38 AM (77rzZ)

=======

"Bulg puts tomato past up his butt. Direct quote: 'I can.'"
-the media reporting

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to the finish with Corman at April 01, 2025 10:39 AM (GBKbO)

207 1/2 the headlines today would have been too out there to be April Fools headlines 20 years ago.

Posted by: Its Go Time Donald at April 01, 2025 10:39 AM (A+/01)

208 198 A reference to the report in the last thread about trans men inserting tomato paste up their butt to mimic a period?

Posted by: Rex B at April 01, 2025 10:13 AM (bhV/D)

Please tell me that is a joke.

Lie if you must.
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo

Actually, it is not accurate. It is frozen tomato paste
Posted by: Maj. Healey at April 01, 2025 10:34 AM (/U5Yz)
_______

This cannot be true. Not even for these insane perverts. Gotta be a sick April Fools joke.
Posted by: Elric Blade

Oh it be true.
https://tinyurl.com/mre64jum

Posted by: Maj. Healey at April 01, 2025 10:40 AM (/U5Yz)

209 I'll have to check a can, but I do not think it is recommended to shove tomato paste up your ass.

That's 15 years of food safety/quality experience talking.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at April 01, 2025 10:40 AM (/x6eu)

210 We’ve gone from ms13 doesn’t really exist it’s just Fox News lies, to ok they exist but they’re productive members of society and fathers.

Posted by: Its Go Time Donald at April 01, 2025 10:37 AM (A+/01)

-------------

BREAKING: Democrats Introduce "Scream Act" Sequel to "Dream Act" to Convey Automatic Citizenship on Criminal Gang Cartel Families.

Posted by: ShainS -- The Dissolution of The Autopen Empire at April 01, 2025 10:40 AM (he7fo)

211 Democrat Senator Thinks ‘Average Middle American’ Is Too Dumb To Find Greenland On Map

-
Well, hell, I could find it on a color map.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Soldier of the Persistence at April 01, 2025 10:40 AM (L/fGl)

212 These gals are all acting like they’re virgins or something.
Posted by: NemoMeImpuneLacessit

Maybe, as far as men are concerned, they are.

Posted by: Bulg at April 01, 2025 10:40 AM (77rzZ)

213 This cannot be true. Not even for these insane perverts. Gotta be a sick April Fools joke.
Posted by: Elric Blade

Given the insanity of our time, I can, in fact, believe that it is true.
Posted by: Bulg at April 01, 2025 10:38 AM (77rzZ)
____

Frozen tomato paste? It will freeze their inner anus and the inner tissue will peel right off. I don't think it's medically possible to stick anything frozen up your ass without significant tissue damage.

Posted by: Elric Blade at April 01, 2025 10:40 AM (iFTx/)

214 204 Layoffs have started at the HHS.

Will we make it to the end of the day without a new order from another judge-king?
Posted by: People's Hippo Voice at April 01, 2025 10:39 AM (m77VT)

=======

The only decent betting pool is what bit of nonsense gets referenced in the footnotes.

The Crucible?
The Statue of Liberty?
Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla II?

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to the finish with Corman at April 01, 2025 10:40 AM (GBKbO)

215 Actually, it is not accurate. It is frozen tomato paste
Posted by: Maj. Healey at April 01, 2025 10:34 AM (/U5Yz)

Butt freeze instead of brain freeze.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at April 01, 2025 10:40 AM (/x6eu)

216 So what is the status of layoffs and firings of fedgov workers? Are they all back thanks to judges? Some? Have there been any actual people fired permanently ? I honestly cannot keep up with all the rulings and shit.

Posted by: Its Go Time Donald at April 01, 2025 10:41 AM (A+/01)

217 DOGE has discovered billions in fraud and abuse. That includes a scheme to defraud legitimate Social Security recipients by the Biden Administration giving Social Security numbers to over 2 million illegal immigrants, which they used to apply for billions in federal benefits, subverting federal law.

Democrats: “I have a great idea. Let’s do a performative filibuster on the senate floor raging like a lunatic against this blatant fraud and abuse to cover for the fact that a lot of it was funneled, in some cases illegally, to our “constituents” and benefactors!!”

Aide:” yeah, but won’t that heighten the exposure of our participation in this fraud, and reveal we support illegal immigrants and rampant fraud?”

Aide#2: “forget it, he’s on a roll.”

Posted by: Vengeance at April 01, 2025 10:42 AM (Jz3bo)

218
When Diana's bathing don't come
To sneak up behind her is dumb
She doesn't want you
To see the tattoo
"I love Minotaur!" on her bum

Posted by: naturalfake at April 01, 2025 10:42 AM (iJfKG)

219 Actually, it is not accurate. It is frozen tomato paste
Posted by: Maj. Healey at April 01, 2025 10:34 AM (/U5Yz)
_______

This cannot be true. Not even for these insane perverts. Gotta be a sick April Fools joke.
Posted by: Elric Blade

Oh it be true.
https://tinyurl.com/mre64jum

Posted by: Maj. Healey at April 01, 2025 10:40 AM (/U5Yz)

---------------

"Don't eat the pizza."

Posted by: ShainS -- The Dissolution of The Autopen Empire at April 01, 2025 10:42 AM (he7fo)

220 178 What's the u-shaped thing about Diana's forehead?

Posted by: Ok, I'll ask at April 01, 2025 10:16 AM (dg+HA)

A stromboli.

diana is, in fact, secretly sailor stromboli, defender of love and justice.

Posted by: anachronda at April 01, 2025 10:44 AM (oY6Yp)

221 219 "Don't eat the pizza."
Posted by: ShainS -- The Dissolution of The Autopen Empire at April 01, 2025 10:42 AM (he7fo)

======

But at least the cake isn't a lie, right?

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to the finish with Corman at April 01, 2025 10:44 AM (GBKbO)

222 The only decent betting pool is what bit of nonsense gets referenced in the footnotes.

The Crucible?
The Statue of Liberty?
Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla II?

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to the finish with Corman at April 01, 2025 10:40 AM (GBKbO)

--------------

The Devil's Advocate?

Posted by: ShainS -- The Dissolution of The Autopen Empire at April 01, 2025 10:45 AM (he7fo)

223 ‘Let’s rectify what we’ve learned,’ and ‘let’s make the future even more productive and better.’”

Wait, you want to correct what you have learned? People are stupid. They talk dumb.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at April 01, 2025 10:45 AM (/x6eu)

224 "I love Minotaur!" on her bum

Posted by: naturalfake

******

Nice!

Posted by: muldoon at April 01, 2025 10:47 AM (/iMjX)

225 163 Thousands of federal employees who were forced to return to their offices in recent weeks have made some disgusting discoveries - including a lack of toilet paper and rodents.

i dunno. i would think that finding an unexpected lack of rodents would normally be a good thing.

Posted by: anachronda at April 01, 2025 10:48 AM (oY6Yp)

226 People are stupid. They talk dumb.
Posted by: Aetius451AD

*********

TV voiceover guy: "Save up to 50 percent...or more!"

Posted by: muldoon at April 01, 2025 10:49 AM (/iMjX)

227 They probably lifted the toilet paper when they left for covid.

Dear Lord, these people have not had to go to work for 5 years.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at April 01, 2025 10:49 AM (/x6eu)

228 TV voiceover guy: "Save up to 50 percent...or more!"
Posted by: muldoon at April 01, 2025 10:49 AM (/iMjX)

Lol.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at April 01, 2025 10:50 AM (/x6eu)

229 But at least the cake isn't a lie, right?
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to the finish with Corman at April 01, 2025 10:44 AM

Cake Girl certainly isn't.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at April 01, 2025 10:50 AM (kgE5c)

230 1/2 the headlines today would have been too out there to be April Fools headlines 20 years ago.

Posted by: Its Go Time Donald at April 01, 2025 10:39 AM (A+/01)

------------

In the past decade, literally half the world has gone clinically insane.

I'm starting to believe in Chemtrails, HAARP, 5G, Vaxx Injuries, alien abductions, you name it.

Where have you gone Mr. Arthur Bell?
A nation turns its loony eyes to you ... woo hoo hoo.

Posted by: ShainS -- The Dissolution of The Autopen Empire at April 01, 2025 10:50 AM (he7fo)

231 But at least the cake isn't a lie, right?
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to the finish with Corman at April 01, 2025 10:44 AM

Cake Girl certainly isn't.
Posted by: RedMindBlueState

Ah...Wonderful memories...

Posted by: Bulg at April 01, 2025 10:51 AM (77rzZ)

232 Where have you gone Mr. Arthur Bell?
A nation turns its loony eyes to you ... woo hoo hoo.
Posted by: ShainS -- The Dissolution of The Autopen Empire at April 01, 2025 10:50 AM

*waves*

George Noory.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at April 01, 2025 10:51 AM (kgE5c)

233 I guess it would have to be frozen just to get it up there. I mean, I guess you could use a syringer. Maybe a turkey baster.

Spoons are right out.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at April 01, 2025 10:51 AM (/x6eu)

234 Layoffs have started at the HHS.

Will we make it to the end of the day without a new order from another judge-king?
Posted by: People's Hippo Voice at April 01, 2025 10:39 AM (m77VT)

=======

The only decent betting pool is what bit of nonsense gets referenced in the footnotes.

The Crucible?
The Statue of Liberty?
Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla II?
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to the finish with Corman at April 01, 2025 10:40 AM (GBKbO)
______

Gender Queer . . . .

Posted by: Elric Blade at April 01, 2025 10:52 AM (iFTx/)

235 Thousands of federal employees who were forced to return to their offices in recent weeks have made some disgusting discoveries - including a lack of toilet paper and rodents.

********

I'm not surprised. The janitors have been working from home since COVID.

Posted by: muldoon at April 01, 2025 10:52 AM (/iMjX)

236 Does anyone use Google fiber? Thoughts?

Posted by: I used to have a different nic at April 01, 2025 10:53 AM (ExV1e)

237 Layoffs have started at the HHS.

Will we make it to the end of the day without a new order from another judge-king?
Posted by: People's Hippo Voice at April 01, 2025 10:39 AM (m77VT)

=======

The only decent betting pool is what bit of nonsense gets referenced in the footnotes.

The Crucible?
The Statue of Liberty?
Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla II?
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to the finish with Corman at April 01, 2025 10:40 AM (GBKbO)
______

Gender Queer . . . .
Posted by: Elric Blade at April 01, 2025 10:52 AM

Rocky Horror Picture Show?

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at April 01, 2025 10:53 AM (kgE5c)

238 Analyzing the painting:

https://tinyurl.com/w3jkvnka

Posted by: thatcrazyjerseyguy at April 01, 2025 10:53 AM (dgRL6)

239 Ugh. Amazon asked me to participate in a beta trial of voice narration, so I decided to see what it could do with Thirteen Moons.

It's awful. I need to set up a recording spot and do it myself.

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing (aka Eloquent Depression) at April 01, 2025 10:53 AM (Q0kLU)

240 I just watched a gal try to parallel park in front of me for 5 mins. She gave up.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at April 01, 2025 10:53 AM (/x6eu)

241 239 Ugh. Amazon asked me to participate in a beta trial of voice narration, so I decided to see what it could do with Thirteen Moons.

It's awful. I need to set up a recording spot and do it myself.
Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing (aka Eloquent Depression) at April 01, 2025 10:53 AM (Q0kLU)

======

I like how my books sound with it. But that's just me.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to the finish with Corman at April 01, 2025 10:54 AM (GBKbO)

242 I guess it would have to be frozen just to get it up there. I mean, I guess you could use a syringer. Maybe a turkey baster.

Spoons are right out.
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at April 01, 2025 10:51 AM (/x6eu)

Speculum. Say ah!

Posted by: Count de Monet at April 01, 2025 10:54 AM (Aqu9a)

243 Does anyone use Google fiber? Thoughts?
Posted by: I used to have a different nic at April 01, 2025 10:53 AM

I find that a lot of leafy vegetables usually does the trick.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at April 01, 2025 10:55 AM (kgE5c)

244 >>This cannot be true. Not even for these insane perverts. Gotta be a sick April Fools joke.

After pumping up on estrogen, having their junk cut off and fashioned into a hole that must be dilated regularly to not heal closed, donning cartoonish makeup and women's clothes, prancing around using exaggerated feminine gestures -- I don't think the tomato paste thing is out of the realm of possibility.

Posted by: Lizzy at April 01, 2025 10:55 AM (Cki93)

245 I like how my books sound with it. But that's just me.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison

You write books????

Posted by: Bulg at April 01, 2025 10:55 AM (77rzZ)

246 242 I guess it would have to be frozen just to get it up there. I mean, I guess you could use a syringer. Maybe a turkey baster.

Spoons are right out.
Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at April 01, 2025 10:51 AM (/x6eu)

Speculum. Say ah!
Posted by: Count de Monet

Caulk gun.

Posted by: Maj. Healey at April 01, 2025 10:55 AM (/U5Yz)

247 Officials: Invasive South American Lizard Expanding Across Florida

-
Dreamer lizards have a spark of the divine!

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Soldier of the Persistence at April 01, 2025 10:55 AM (L/fGl)

248 Haven't seen this before. From American thinker.

"Milley was running the whole Ukraine war with Russia without telling the public -report
By Monica Showalter "

https://tinyurl.com/muahusyk

Posted by: javems at April 01, 2025 10:55 AM (8I4hW)

249 245 I like how my books sound with it. But that's just me.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison

You write books????
Posted by: Bulg at April 01, 2025 10:55 AM (77rzZ)

======

False.

I bang on the keyboard until the red squiggles go away.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to the finish with Corman at April 01, 2025 10:56 AM (GBKbO)

250 After pumping up on estrogen, having their junk cut off and fashioned into a hole that must be dilated regularly to not heal closed, donning cartoonish makeup and women's clothes, prancing around using exaggerated feminine gestures -- I don't think the tomato paste thing is out of the realm of possibility.
Posted by: Lizzy at April 01, 2025 10:55 AM

*sigh*

We used to be a proper country.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at April 01, 2025 10:56 AM (kgE5c)

251 Caulk gun.
Posted by: Maj. Healey at April 01, 2025 10:55 AM (/U5Yz)

For that nice smooth bead.

Posted by: Count de Monet at April 01, 2025 10:56 AM (Aqu9a)

252 But if you were trying to mirror menstruation, wouldn't you shove the paste up the front hole?

This has to be preop trannies, right?

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at April 01, 2025 10:56 AM (/x6eu)

253 I just watched a gal try to parallel park in front of me for 5 mins. She gave up.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at April 01, 2025 10:53 AM (/x6eu)

-------------

There's an old joke about six inches in there somewhere ...

Posted by: ShainS -- The Dissolution of The Autopen Empire at April 01, 2025 10:57 AM (he7fo)

254 Speculum. Say ah!
Posted by: Count de Monet

*********

In this situation I wouldn't care to speculate...

Posted by: muldoon at April 01, 2025 10:57 AM (/iMjX)

255 240 I just watched a gal try to parallel park in front of me for 5 mins. She gave up.

—

My teen age daughter is a pro at it. Kinda has to be she parks on the street every day. She’s also very proud of it in you go grrllll way. There are always exceptions.

Posted by: Its Go Time Donald at April 01, 2025 10:57 AM (A+/01)

256 Caulk gun.
Posted by: Maj. Healey at April 01, 2025 10:55 AM (/U5Yz)

For that nice smooth bead.
Posted by: Count de Monet at April 01, 2025 10:56 AM (Aqu9a)

Hah!

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at April 01, 2025 10:57 AM (/x6eu)

257 But if you were trying to mirror menstruation, wouldn't you shove the paste up the front hole?

This has to be preop trannies, right?

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at April 01, 2025 10:56 AM (/x6eu)

----------------

New Tomato Paste Marketing Campaign:

"Make Bonus Holes Great Again!"

Posted by: ShainS -- The Dissolution of The Autopen Empire at April 01, 2025 10:58 AM (he7fo)

258 Does anyone use Google fiber? Thoughts?

Posted by: I used to have a different nic at April 01, 2025 10:53 AM (ExV1e)

I don't, but if I did, I would consider running through a VPN 24/7/365.

Posted by: Comrade Flounder, Disinformation Demon at April 01, 2025 10:58 AM (i24o9)

259 >>But if you were trying to mirror menstruation, wouldn't you shove the paste up the front hole?

The question isn't "how," it's "why?"

Posted by: Lizzy at April 01, 2025 10:59 AM (Cki93)

260 MBHGA does not exactly roll off the tongue.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at April 01, 2025 10:59 AM (/x6eu)

261 >>I just watched a gal try to parallel park in front of me for 5 mins. She gave up.

Did she get overly-emotional and floor it on the way out of there?

Posted by: one hour sober at April 01, 2025 10:59 AM (Y1sOo)

262 T&A Tuesday! A reward for yesterday when the 'rons did quite well staying on point? (Didn't mention boobs within the 1st 50 or better comments.) Maybe? 🤷‍♂️

Wouldn't hang but am envious of parts being in proper placement. (Long ago.... *sigh*)

Posted by: L - No nic, another fine day at April 01, 2025 11:00 AM (NFX2v)

263 MBHGA does not exactly roll off the tongue.
Posted by: Aetius451AD

Well, maybe if you speak Georgian.

Posted by: Bulg at April 01, 2025 11:00 AM (77rzZ)

264 .
NOOD

Rant Time

NOOD!

Posted by: Grumpy and Recalcitrant at April 01, 2025 11:00 AM (O7YUW)

265 Did she get overly-emotional and floor it on the way out of there?
Posted by: one hour sober at April 01, 2025 10:59 AM (Y1sOo)

I did not even mean about the female thing. He'll, you see dudes do the same thing. She had the classic 'no movement progress to the right' just see sawing.

Posted by: Aetius451AD work phone at April 01, 2025 11:01 AM (/x6eu)

266 You write books????
Posted by: Bulg at April 01, 2025 10:55 AM (77rzZ)

======

False.

I bang on the keyboard until the red squiggles go away.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to the finish with Corman at April 01, 2025 10:56 AM (GBKbO)

-------------

@grok3 Construct and write a novel from analysis and synthesis of the past decade of shitposts from TJM at AoS.

> This could take years

@grok3 I'll wait ...

Posted by: ShainS -- The Dissolution of The Autopen Empire at April 01, 2025 11:02 AM (he7fo)

267 I'm just glad we have judges who have found the Real and True Constitution.

The one that begins "We, the Judges and Employees of the United States ...."

All this time, I was a dumbass thinking it started "We, the People ...."

Posted by: People's Hippo Voice at April 01, 2025 11:03 AM (m77VT)

268 266 @grok3 Construct and write a novel from analysis and synthesis of the past decade of shitposts from TJM at AoS.

> This could take years

@grok3 I'll wait ...
Posted by: ShainS -- The Dissolution of The Autopen Empire at April 01, 2025 11:02 AM (he7fo)

=====

Must include characters twirling in sheer curtains like a Terrence Malick movie, or I riot.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to the finish with Corman at April 01, 2025 11:03 AM (GBKbO)

269 Must include characters twirling in sheer curtains like a Terrence Malick movie, or I riot.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, back to the finish with Corman at April 01, 2025 11:03 AM (GBKbO)

-----------

lol

Posted by: ShainS -- The Dissolution of The Autopen Empire at April 01, 2025 11:04 AM (he7fo)

270 "Milley was running the whole Ukraine war with Russia without telling the public -report
By Monica Showalter "

https://tinyurl.com/muahusyk
Posted by: javems at April 01, 2025 10:55 AM (8I4hW)

No wonder Ukraine is loosing. That idiot traitor need hang.

Posted by: Reforger at April 01, 2025 11:05 AM (xcIvR)

271 It is the monthly meeting of the tiny titty club.

Posted by: Bonecrusher at April 01, 2025 11:13 AM (JNTt1)

272 CBD, you magnificent bastard!

Posted by: WaitingForMartel at April 01, 2025 11:39 AM (YJPBh)

273 So many choices, so little time ... DAMN!

Posted by: Dr_No at April 01, 2025 12:24 PM (ayRl+)

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