Just The ONT, Ma'am

Hi Horde! Friday night, what's everyone up to? Time to get silly.

Fido Friday: Firsty

pic.twitter.com/ERf9L6syrI
— ONT WTF (@OntWtf) December 21, 2024

Feel good story

I think maybe he was high

Cool

pic.twitter.com/a4sIDYfflz
— ONT WTF (@OntWtf) December 21, 2024

Obamacare

The universe has a sense of humor

pic.twitter.com/pkABfHxLW1
— ONT WTF (@OntWtf) December 21, 2024

Christmas cartoon

True 'nuff

Build a better rattrap, and the world will beat a path to your door

pic.twitter.com/OAfrrg5gKu
— ONT WTF (@OntWtf) December 21, 2024

Unsocial Media

Man-aging a bad situation

I'm speechless

OMFG! I try (and fail) not to be profane, but OH MY FUCKING GOD!
Coach: We need a theme for the halftime show
Cheer coach: 9/11?
Coach: You son of a bitch, I'm in! pic.twitter.com/xM7fs8Geb6
— ONT WTF (@OntWtf) December 20, 2024

SMDH

75% chance she fucked him. Maybe 85. No doubt in my mind.

Villians

Woman moment

pic.twitter.com/MZrgaDiZk1
— ONT WTF (@OntWtf) December 20, 2024

Christmas service

Hard to argue

When you're grown up you can recycle this bit when you're working blue

pic.twitter.com/5TimW5Tg1a
— ONT WTF (@OntWtf) December 20, 2024

BUFF

Tonight's ONT has been brought to you by conspiracy theorists:

Posted by: WeirdDave at 10:00 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 st

Posted by: JohnFNotKerry at December 20, 2024 10:00 PM (yLkiW)

2 Bam!

Posted by: Braenyard - some absent friends are more equal than others _ at December 20, 2024 10:00 PM (Qp67s)

3 Yay, Cathode-Ray Tube Day ONT!

Remember to sit real close to get your recommended daily allowance of X-rays.

Posted by: Blanco Basura - Z28.310 at December 20, 2024 10:00 PM (lUFok)

4 WDFRONT woot!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar - NEXT Year in Corsicana - again at December 20, 2024 10:00 PM (rOtXe)

5 YAY ONT! Good evening fellow Morons! Now for the content.

Posted by: JohnFNotKerry at December 20, 2024 10:00 PM (yLkiW)

6 Time

Posted by: Ciampino - just a question at December 20, 2024 10:01 PM (i0xsb)

7 Not first, although does take the pressure off reading the content.

Posted by: Some Garbage Rat at December 20, 2024 10:01 PM (+VovS)

8 When milliseconds count...

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar - NEXT Year in Corsicana - again at December 20, 2024 10:01 PM (rOtXe)

9

Good Evening you goofballs.

Posted by: four seasons at December 20, 2024 10:02 PM (3ek7K)

10 SPONGE!

Posted by: Helena Handbasket at December 20, 2024 10:02 PM (KcwUg)

11 Of course I respect the content

Posted by: Deplorable Minion at December 20, 2024 10:02 PM (QSrLX)

12 Hi

Posted by: Scarymary at December 20, 2024 10:03 PM (F2xQR)

13 Time for the Number Six dance, boys.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at December 20, 2024 10:03 PM (hY4dx)

14 Evenin’, All. A pretty much sober Bulg talking to you here.

Posted by: Bulg at December 20, 2024 10:04 PM (v6JzV)

15 Pop quiz, how many of the Four Rules did Mr Testicular Pain break with his 9mm?

Posted by: Helena Handbasket at December 20, 2024 10:06 PM (KcwUg)

16 Whoa! Contenty - thanks WD!

Guys, gals and all the ships at sea - you owe it to yourselves to give a listen to Shawn Ryan interview Joe Lonsdale. Touches on everything: drones, AI, High Energy weapons, major threats to America and on and on. It's a long one but well worth the two hours.

https://t.ly/ZD0nY

Posted by: Tonypete at December 20, 2024 10:06 PM (WXNFJ)

17
Huh?

Posted by: four seasons at December 20, 2024 10:07 PM (3ek7K)

18
Aspiring Thrawn, formerly Kratos, knows the answer to the renamed television channel -- he used to reference it a lot.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at December 20, 2024 10:07 PM (i4sOa)

19 15 Pop quiz, how many of the Four Rules did Mr Testicular Pain break with his 9mm?
Posted by: Helena Handbasket at December 20, 2024 10:06 PM (KcwUg)

----------

A cautionary tale of what happens when you say "Nuts" to muzzle discipline.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at December 20, 2024 10:07 PM (hY4dx)

20
*enters doing buck and wing*

Good evening, Hordians!

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at December 20, 2024 10:08 PM (dxSpM)

21 that is some fantastic content!

Posted by: BlackOrchid at December 20, 2024 10:08 PM (Pv3Rg)

22 I have a new favorite Christmas carol!

Posted by: BlackOrchid at December 20, 2024 10:08 PM (Pv3Rg)

23 Pop quiz, how many of the Four Rules did Mr Testicular Pain break with his 9mm?
Posted by: Helena Handbasket

Lack of crotch armor?

Posted by: Some Garbage Rat at December 20, 2024 10:09 PM (+VovS)

24 A cautionary tale of what happens when you say "Nuts" to muzzle discipline.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at December 20, 2024 10:07 PM (hY4dx)

—————-

He went off half cocked.

Posted by: Duke Lowell who is definitely not Ace at December 20, 2024 10:09 PM (u73oe)

25 did you guys notice the lady with the gas pump sticking out of her car accidentally revved her engine for no reason while I think parked?

that was special

Posted by: BlackOrchid at December 20, 2024 10:09 PM (Pv3Rg)

26 If you do buy one of those B-52s then remember to buy a spare engine - you don't want to call in one of those 7-engined maydays.

Posted by: Ciampino - a unique problem at December 20, 2024 10:10 PM (i0xsb)

27 A cautionary tale of what happens when you say "Nuts" to muzzle discipline.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at December 20, 2024 10:07 PM (hY4dx)

—————-

He went off half cocked.
Posted by: Duke Lowell who is definitely not Ace

A real sad sack.

Posted by: Some Garbage Rat at December 20, 2024 10:10 PM (+VovS)

28 Pop quiz, how many of the Four Rules did Mr Testicular Pain break with his 9mm?

Yes.

Also, rule #5. Don't shoot yourself in the balls.

Posted by: Blanco Basura - Z28.310 at December 20, 2024 10:10 PM (lUFok)

29 16 Whoa! Contenty - thanks WD!

Guys, gals and all the ships at sea - you owe it to yourselves to give a listen to Shawn Ryan interview Joe Lonsdale. Touches on everything: drones, AI, High Energy weapons, major threats to America and on and on. It's a long one but well worth the two hours.

https://t.ly/ZD0nY
Posted by: Tonypete
---

Road Trip!

Posted by: Braenyard - some absent friends are more equal than others _ at December 20, 2024 10:10 PM (Qp67s)

30 This is honestly the most entertaining ONT in weeks. Thanks WeirdDave!

Posted by: JohnFNotKerry at December 20, 2024 10:10 PM (yLkiW)

31
So GSW victim gave his left nut for something?

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at December 20, 2024 10:11 PM (dxSpM)

32 15 Pop quiz, how many of the Four Rules did Mr Testicular Pain break with his 9mm?

Posted by: Helena Handbasket

But I was holding it sideways!!!!!!!11ty

Posted by: BifBewalski at December 20, 2024 10:11 PM (MsrgL)

33 Most of the content

Posted by: Deplorable Minion at December 20, 2024 10:11 PM (QSrLX)

34 Rat!

You bastard!

Posted by: nurse ratched, garbage at December 20, 2024 10:11 PM (Ihn6X)

35 Pop quiz, how many of the Four Rules did Mr Testicular Pain break with his 9mm?
Posted by: Helena Handbasket

Not exactly sure but 'Don't shoot yourself in the balls' is right up there!

Posted by: Tonypete at December 20, 2024 10:12 PM (WXNFJ)

36 They did a 9/11 themed Cheerleading routine.

W.

T.

F.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at December 20, 2024 10:13 PM (mzM2O)

37 Rat!

You bastard!
Posted by: nurse ratched, garbage

{{{Nurse!!}}} Sweetie pie!

Posted by: Some Garbage Rat at December 20, 2024 10:13 PM (+VovS)

38 I think the Millionaire contestant was a chaser on the Chase. But that episode of Millionaire I missed.

Posted by: Deplorable Minion at December 20, 2024 10:13 PM (QSrLX)

39 This game is gonna get ugly.

Posted by: Duke Lowell who is definitely not Ace at December 20, 2024 10:13 PM (u73oe)

40 There's a recent video of one of then noble lions of Islam in Hezbollah on the hood of a car in a funeral procession (they're having a lot of those recently, hmm). He somehow manages to shoot himself, seems like in the foot, with his AK/whatever. But video is jerky and pans away a bit during critical moment.

Imagine someone saving all such vids could do a nice compilation of jihadi miscues with firearms.

Posted by: rhomboid at December 20, 2024 10:14 PM (1m82a)

41 Sure, they'll sell you a used B-52 for a fair price. Then, they'll gouge you on the KC-135 tanker. The system is rigged!

Posted by: Figgered It Out at December 20, 2024 10:15 PM (G5+As)

42 Imagine someone saving all such vids could do a nice compilation of jihadi miscues with firearms.
Posted by: rhomboid at December 20, 2024 10:14 PM (1m82a)

----------

Might I suggest Yakety Sax for the soundtrack?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at December 20, 2024 10:16 PM (hY4dx)

43 I'll make up for Bulg. Three, four sheets to the wind!

Posted by: Cooter Brown at December 20, 2024 10:16 PM (G5+As)

44 Santa Claus is cummin' up who's butt?

Posted by: Peter Buttigigigig at December 20, 2024 10:17 PM (TTAGa)

45 That 9/11 Cheerleading routine was...still too soon.

Posted by: Scarymary at December 20, 2024 10:17 PM (F2xQR)

46
The sad end of rapper Juice Wrld

"On December 8, 2019, Higgins was aboard a private Gulfstream jet flying from Van Nuys Airport in Los Angeles to Midway International Airport in Chicago. Law enforcement officers were waiting for the jet to arrive, having been notified by federal agents, while the flight was en route, that they suspected there were guns and drugs on the plane. Law enforcement officials said that they found 70 lb of marijuana on the aircraft and said several members of Higgins' management team aboard the flight told them that Higgins had taken "several unknown pills", including allegedly swallowing multiple Percocet pills while police were on board the plane searching the luggage.

"Higgins had a convulsion episode and a seizure; two doses of naloxone, an emergency medication, were administered, as it was suspected that he had an opioid overdose. Chicago PD were told a man (Higgins) had suffered a medical emergency at around 2:00 local time (8:00 GMT). Higgins was transported to the nearby Advocate Christ Medical Center in Oak Lawn, where he was pronounced dead."

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at December 20, 2024 10:17 PM (dxSpM)

47 SpaceX
New T-Zero: 11:15 p.m. ET - (December 21, 04:15 UTC, 05:15 CET).

https://www.youtube.com/live/19mgjpnAPVM

Posted by: Ciampino - a bit later at December 20, 2024 10:17 PM (i0xsb)

48 Sure, they'll sell you a used B-52 for a fair price. Then, they'll gouge you on the KC-135 tanker. The system is rigged!
Posted by: Figgered It Out

Oh man, thank you. Was just about to hit "Place bid".

Posted by: Some Garbage Rat at December 20, 2024 10:17 PM (+VovS)

49 22 I have a new favorite Christmas carol!
Posted by: BlackOrchid at December 20, 2024 10:08 PM (Pv3Rg)

____________________________

The North Pole "don't ask, don't tell" policy suddenly makes a little more sense.

Posted by: Orson at December 20, 2024 10:17 PM (dIske)

50 Houthi missile eludes interception by Israeli anti-missile systems, hits playground in Tel Aviv (night-time, empty). That makes one elementary school and a playground.

So, a little more of this and they'll have Israel on its knees, I guess.

Or something. Or - they're gonna get hammered some more. Looks like the Crazy Islamist Learning Curve Effect (a flat line) is in play again.

Posted by: rhomboid at December 20, 2024 10:18 PM (1m82a)

51 WD brings it once again.

Posted by: Notorious BFD at December 20, 2024 10:18 PM (mH6SG)

52 Four Rules did Mr Testicular Pain break with his 9mm?

Goatse gun?

Posted by: Commissar of Plenty and Lysenkoism in Solidarity with the Struggle at December 20, 2024 10:19 PM (T/zw7)

53 Another sign of how there's a new sheriff in town: I pulled a temporary ban over on TwitX for "violent speech", presumably because some screechy little snowflake reported me (it wasn't "violent speech" by any reasonable definition of that term, needless to say).

In days of yore, I would have been forced to remove the post and promise to be a good boy.

This time, I hit the appeal button, and a couple of hours later I get basically "Nah, mang. You're good to go. The person who reported this is just a whiny little bitch." I didn't have to delete the post.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at December 20, 2024 10:19 PM (W5ArC)

54 14 Evenin’, All. A pretty much sober Bulg talking to you here.
Posted by: Bulg

I have a lovely bottle of red, cheese, smoked meats, olives and some pickled veggies. Hummus, crackers and some cashews.

***pats couch*
Have a seat. Indiana is getting creamed.

Posted by: nurse ratched, garbage at December 20, 2024 10:20 PM (Ihn6X)

55 Cicero, maybe have Steve Inman do one of his videos on the great Israel-Yemen match-up?

Posted by: rhomboid at December 20, 2024 10:21 PM (1m82a)

56 54 By Notre Dame, right?

Sorry, can’t celebrate that.

Posted by: Bulg at December 20, 2024 10:22 PM (v6JzV)

57 I have grown to hate modern Christmas music, but Santa Claus is comin' up your butt may force me to rethink.

Posted by: Archimedes at December 20, 2024 10:22 PM (xCA6C)

58 I don't even want to think about that shooting accident. It's overload. One part of your brain is panicked because you might have just shot off a certain important part of your anatomy. The other part of your brain is considering all the ribbing and jokes that are coming your way when people find out what an idiot you are. And, another part of your brain is thinking about the medical personnel and law enforcement asking you all those degrading questions.

So, in short, this isn't something you do twice.

Posted by: Orson at December 20, 2024 10:23 PM (dIske)

59 https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=cM38kN4AOys

Posted by: Commissar of Plenty and Lysenkoism in Solidarity with the Struggle at December 20, 2024 10:23 PM (T/zw7)

60 57 I have grown to hate modern Christmas music, but Santa Claus is comin' up your butt may force me to rethink.
Posted by: Archimedes at December 20, 2024 10:22 PM (xCA6C)

That kid is going places.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at December 20, 2024 10:23 PM (mzM2O)

61 Finished shopping earlier today

At the pawn store

Posted by: Zeera The people are coming at December 20, 2024 10:23 PM (tXURQ)

62 did you guys notice the lady with the gas pump sticking out of her car accidentally revved her engine for no reason while I think parked?

that was special
Posted by: BlackOrchid at December 20, 2024 10:09 PM (Pv3Rg)

She is a real prize, blaming everyone else for her innate stupidity. Must be a Democrat voter.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at December 20, 2024 10:24 PM (8zz6B)

63 I assume the diagnosis of "testicular pain" is because nowadays the docs have to put in any code that could possibly apply and hope at least one of them sticks.

Because otherwise... no shit?

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at December 20, 2024 10:24 PM (W5ArC)

64 https://m.youtube.com/watch?
v=GHd8EiJn5hI&pp=ygUMYmVib3AgU2FudGEg

Posted by: Commissar of Plenty and Lysenkoism in Solidarity with the Struggle at December 20, 2024 10:24 PM (T/zw7)

65 Ho Ho Ho

>>@JenniferSey

>>🚨🚨🚨 Women's sports are being saved.

>>The Biden administration is withdrawing its Title IX proposal which forced schools to allow trans-identifying male athletes into girls' sports.

>>They know they've lost.

>>Common sense is emerging.

>>Your courage is making the difference.

Posted by: JackStraw at December 20, 2024 10:25 PM (LkLld)

66 Porch pirates return to scene of crime after victim posted clip online

https://mol.im/a/14212837

Posted by: Ciampino - FAFO at December 20, 2024 10:25 PM (i0xsb)

67 > >>They know they've lost.

Yes, and they're going to do everything possible to make sure Trump doesn't get credit.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at December 20, 2024 10:26 PM (W5ArC)

68 Biden massively expands student loan bailout as end of term approaches

https://mol.im/a/14214275

Posted by: Ciampino - EOs EOs EEIO at December 20, 2024 10:26 PM (i0xsb)

69 68 Biden massively expands student loan bailout as end of term approaches

https://mol.im/a/14214275
Posted by: Ciampino - EOs EOs EEIO at December 20, 2024 10:26 PM (i0xsb

Hasn't the Supreme Court stopped this four times over already?

Posted by: AlaBAMA at December 20, 2024 10:27 PM (mzM2O)

70 Found a sirloin roast from June 2020 in the back of the garage freezer a couple days ago. Price per pound, $2.89. Same cut of meat today at the same store I bought the roast, $8.79 a pound.

Posted by: Beartooth at December 20, 2024 10:28 PM (3Ev2O)

71 Hmm, CH-53 caught fire and landed near the 5 on Camp Pendleton. All crew unharmed, thankfully. Quite the show for holiday travelers on the freeway.

Way back when men were men and Cold Wars were cold, I recall being in the car when the Marines were doing a full-scale amphibious exercise as our family drove north to LA. Tanks rumbling along on both sides of the freeway, Hueys with guys hanging on lines crossing over from the beach side. Lots of people had pulled over to watch. I begged for this but was turned down.

Posted by: rhomboid at December 20, 2024 10:28 PM (1m82a)

72 >>> 70 Found a sirloin roast from June 2020 in the back of the garage freezer a couple days ago. Price per pound, $2.89. Same cut of meat today at the same store I bought the roast, $8.79 a pound.
Posted by: Beartooth at December 20, 2024 10:28 PM (3Ev2O)

That's only a few dollars more.

Posted by: Martha Radditz at December 20, 2024 10:30 PM (KcwUg)

73 Posted by: Beartooth at December 20, 2024 10:28 PM (3Ev2O)

Did you eat it?

Posted by: Scarymary at December 20, 2024 10:31 PM (F2xQR)

74 Fine work, WD. Much excellent content in the ONT. Good evening. Horde. Adult kids shoveled the driveway today!

Posted by: scampydog at December 20, 2024 10:31 PM (41CYW)

75 Democrats rule

https://tinyurl.com/24fppktv

Posted by: Braenyard - some absent friends are more equal than others _ at December 20, 2024 10:31 PM (Qp67s)

76 Think it's lower courts that have blocked the student loan idiocy, though SCOTUS did too on the initial one I think. This pattern of battering their heads against the judicial wall is like nothing I can ever recall seeing. But that was a different country.

Posted by: rhomboid at December 20, 2024 10:31 PM (1m82a)

77 The Mom vid, that audio may go viral

Posted by: Deplorable Minion at December 20, 2024 10:34 PM (QSrLX)

78 And that asshole "pastor" in Florida needs a come-to-Jesus moment.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at December 20, 2024 10:35 PM (8zz6B)

79 61 Finished shopping earlier today

At the pawn store
Posted by: Zeera The people are coming at December 20, 2024 10:23 PM (tXURQ)

-----------

Mongo only pawn, in Game of Life.

Posted by: Mongo at December 20, 2024 10:35 PM (hY4dx)

80 >Biden massively expands student loan bailout as end of term approaches

I said Ho Ho Ho.

>>@AGAndrewBailey

>>🚨BREAKING: TOTAL AND COMPLETE SURRENDER.

>>@JoeBiden abandoned plans to illegally forgive Ivy League student loan debt at the expense of working Americans.

>>We successfully BLOCKED these unlawful giveaways EVERY time.

>>A HUGE victory for fairness and the rule of law.

Posted by: JackStraw at December 20, 2024 10:36 PM (LkLld)

81 Posted by: Beartooth at December 20, 2024 10:28 PM (3Ev2O)

Did you eat it?
Posted by: Scarymary at December 20, 2024 10:31 PM (F2xQR)

It was remarkably in good shape so I grilled it and cut it into tiny pieces and am using it for training rewards for Heidi, our 2 1/2 years old velocirapter.

Posted by: Beartooth at December 20, 2024 10:38 PM (3Ev2O)

82 An early classic on the new-fangled Internet web was a Usenet (probably) post entitled “Scrotum Self Repair”

From memory, a male presented himself to the ER and eventually revealed that while working at a machine shop, during lunch he would sometimes gratify himself by using one of the machines. Not sure how this works, but somehow in the throes of passion his junk became entwined with a drive belt, which avulsed a testicle and was missing, and a huge gash on his ball sack.

He decided to try and staple the wound closed with those large industrial things.

Posted by: Common Tater at December 20, 2024 10:38 PM (eQfh1)

83 Time to get Silly!

I thought that was my job.

Posted by: Miklos, now serious, no joke, my word as a Miklos at December 20, 2024 10:38 PM (xesY+)

84 I know its a tax, but isn't the ND story a HIPAA violation?

Posted by: Deplorable Minion at December 20, 2024 10:39 PM (QSrLX)

85
This is a terribly dull game. ND's principal skill is just chewing up the clock. Indiana gives them lots of opportunities to do so.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at December 20, 2024 10:39 PM (dxSpM)

86 71
Multiple emergency crews are on the scene after a military helicopter crashed bursting into flames during an emergency landing incident

https://tinyurl.com/3jtau6uh

Posted by: Ciampino - all safe at December 20, 2024 10:40 PM (i0xsb)

87 Rat!

You staying on your side next week?

Posted by: nurse ratched, garbage at December 20, 2024 10:40 PM (CDGpN)

88 I know its a tax, but isn't the ND story a HIPAA violation?
Posted by: Deplorable Minion at December 20, 2024 10:39 PM (QSrLX)

Only if the idiot's name is published, maybe?

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at December 20, 2024 10:41 PM (8zz6B)

89 Rat trap is genus.

Posted by: eleven at December 20, 2024 10:41 PM (iziT8)

90 So

Apparently I should have accepted that full ride scholarship to Harvard, and taken student loans.

Posted by: Miklos, stupid Miklos at December 20, 2024 10:41 PM (xesY+)

91 He decided to try and staple the wound closed with those large industrial things.
Posted by: Common Tater

How many times do you think he hollered "OW! MY BALLS!!" during that episode.

Posted by: Tonypete at December 20, 2024 10:42 PM (WXNFJ)

92 > Hasn't the Supreme Court stopped this four times over already?
Posted by: AlaBAMA at December 20, 2024 10:27 PM (mzM2O)

This one is for "public servants" for which there actually is some enabling legislation, dating back to the Obama regime.

I think this one will stick.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at December 20, 2024 10:43 PM (W5ArC)

93 Scrotum Self-Repair, which is indeed a classic.

I remember it going around on dial-up bulletin boards back in the day.

https://tinyurl.com/2w5w5a9k

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at December 20, 2024 10:45 PM (W5ArC)

94 Rat trap is genus.
Posted by: eleven at December 20, 2024 10:41 PM (iziT

But you wind up with a bucketful of angry rats, which you then have to kill. You can't release rats, because, rats.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at December 20, 2024 10:45 PM (8zz6B)

95 Rat!

You staying on your side next week?
Posted by: nurse ratched, garbage

Christmas Eve your side, Christmas Day my side.

Are you hosting or traveling?

Posted by: Some Garbage Rat at December 20, 2024 10:47 PM (+VovS)

96 Evenin', Horde!

The wife and I watched Red One this evening. Is it great cinema? Well, no, but it was still lots of fun.

Posted by: No One of Consequence at December 20, 2024 10:48 PM (OGOaV)

97 Evenin all, and thanks for an awesome ONT!

Husband had a hip replacement on Tuesday. He was at physical therapy today, walking in with his walker.

Mind: boggled. I remember when hip replacements had a three week stay in the hospital and then the patient was sent to rehab to relearn how to walk. He has pain, but it's managed well with advil. Absolutely amazing.

Posted by: Moki at December 20, 2024 10:48 PM (wLjpr)

98 But you wind up with a bucketful of angry rats, which you then have to kill. You can't release rats, because, rats.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at December 20, 2024 10:45 PM (8zz6B)

Surrender them over to PETA. They have a 90% kill rate, so the rats will be in good hands.

Posted by: RickZ at December 20, 2024 10:48 PM (gKDq2)

99 “Dial Up BBS”

I used to hang out on ISCA - Iowa City, when I lived there. Definitely different, but I learned a lot, especially unscrupulous methods of debate oft employed by leftists. They haven’t changed, I’d note.

Posted by: Common Tater at December 20, 2024 10:49 PM (TbGaV)

100 I suppose there was one positive about the GSW story. He still has one ball left. If not, how would they know which one was shot?

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at December 20, 2024 10:50 PM (VNX3d)

101 Surrender them over to PETA. They have a 90% kill rate, so the rats will be in good hands.
Posted by: RickZ at December 20, 2024 10:48 PM (gKDq2)

PETA only kills pets and livestock. They would likely release rats. Because, rats.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at December 20, 2024 10:51 PM (8zz6B)

102 >>>Not sure how this works, but somehow in the throes of passion his junk became entwined with a drive belt, which avulsed a testicle and was missing, and a huge gash on his ball sack.

He decided to try and staple the wound closed with those large industrial things.
Posted by: Common Tater
---

That or one similar, yeah. Those machine shop staplers can cause a heck of an infection.

Posted by: Braenyard - some absent friends are more equal than others _ at December 20, 2024 10:51 PM (Qp67s)

103 Someone on X just called Rosa DeLauro a "Hogwarts Gender Studies Professor" and I genuinely laughed out loud.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at December 20, 2024 10:51 PM (W5ArC)

104 But you wind up with a bucketful of angry rats, which you then have to kill. You can't release rats, because, rats.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at December 20, 2024 10:45 PM (8zz6B)

Surrender them over to PETA. They have a 90% kill rate, so the rats will be in good hands.
Posted by: RickZ at December 20, 2024 10:48 PM (gKDq2)

You might also try a pharmaceutical company, for the drugs that are too dangerous to test on politicians.

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at December 20, 2024 10:52 PM (VNX3d)

105 I remember when hip replacements had a three week stay in the hospital and then the patient was sent to rehab to relearn how to walk. He has pain, but it's managed well with advil. Absolutely amazing.
Posted by: Moki
----------
Gave my 'weird uncle' a bit of payback when he had his hip replacement. Smuggled a six pack in and set it on the window shelf, just out of his reach.
Hope the healing goes smooth for your husband.

Posted by: scampydog at December 20, 2024 10:52 PM (41CYW)

106 Mind: boggled. I remember when hip replacements had a three week stay in the hospital and then the patient was sent to rehab to relearn how to walk. He has pain, but it's managed well with advil. Absolutely amazing.
Posted by: Moki at December 20, 2024 10:48 PM (wLjpr)

Coming out of anesthesia for heart surgery, they have you up and walking today.

'It's okay, pretend like you're just a little drunk. And what better place to fall?'

Posted by: RickZ at December 20, 2024 10:52 PM (gKDq2)

107 Coach: We need a theme for the halftime show
Cheer coach: 9/11?

Once I realized what they were doing, I just stopped the vid. Don't think that's ever been necessary on an ONT meme before. OMG.😒🙄😶

Enjoying the post… otherwise.

Howdy, y'all.

Posted by: mindful webworker - looking away from a train wreck at December 20, 2024 10:52 PM (v+OaN)

108 You might also try a pharmaceutical company, for the drugs that are too dangerous to test on politicians.
Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at December 20, 2024 10:52 PM (VNX3d)

They have lawyers for that...

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at December 20, 2024 10:54 PM (8zz6B)

109 95 Rat!

You staying on your side next week?
Posted by: nurse ratched, garbage

Christmas Eve your side, Christmas Day my side.

Are you hosting or traveling?

Posted by: Some Garbage Rat

Hosting. But Dec 27th because, guests.

Posted by: nurse ratched, garbage at December 20, 2024 10:54 PM (aRpZy)

110 Crossing the streams ... that rat trap would make an excellent trap in a D&D dungeon.

I'm totally stealing this idea.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at December 20, 2024 10:55 PM (QzM4s)

111 101 Surrender them over to PETA. They have a 90% kill rate, so the rats will be in good hands.
Posted by: RickZ at December 20, 2024 10:48 PM (gKDq2)

PETA only kills pets and livestock. They would likely release rats. Because, rats.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at December 20, 2024 10:51 PM (8zz6B)

--------

New York Department of Environmental Conservation hated us because we were fun and brought joy to the masses.

Posted by: P'nut & Fred at December 20, 2024 10:55 PM (F2xQR)

112 But you wind up with a bucketful of angry rats, which you then have to kill. You can't release rats, because, rats.

Drop a lump of dry ice in the container.

Posted by: Archimedes at December 20, 2024 10:56 PM (xCA6C)

113 88 I know its a tax, but isn't the ND story a HIPAA violation?
Posted by: Deplorable Minion at December 20, 2024 10:39 PM (QSrLX)

Only if the idiot's name is published, maybe?
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at December 20, 2024 10:41 PM (8zz6B)

---------------------------------

That's pretty much it. As long as there's no way to identify the person from the information provided, it's not a violation.

Posted by: No One of Consequence at December 20, 2024 10:56 PM (OGOaV)

114 80 Straw

RE: AG Bailey

We elect GUD ones in MO, ja?

Posted by: mnw at December 20, 2024 11:00 PM (NLIak)

115

POETS...Piss On Everything Tomorrow Is Saturday

Posted by: four seasons at December 20, 2024 11:01 PM (3ek7K)

116 Good evening Horde. Thanks WD.

The Horde is good people. That is all.

Posted by: TRex at December 20, 2024 11:03 PM (pfEGd)

117 But you wind up with a bucketful of angry rats, which you then have to kill. You can't release rats, because, rats.

Maybe it's all the comics I've read. But I feel like you're not putting your supervillain hat on here, because "bucketful of angry rats" is a first step in at least 100 great plans.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at December 20, 2024 11:05 PM (QzM4s)

118 No names, no HIPAA. Thanks. 1990's Thanks

Posted by: Deplorable Minion at December 20, 2024 11:07 PM (QSrLX)

119 Jeepers. This is a rout.

Did I mention I hate Notre Dame?

Posted by: nurse ratched, garbage at December 20, 2024 11:07 PM (hqusk)

120 Considering the required angle for the damage caused by the GSW, I am somewhat dubious that it was accidentally self inflicted. I propose that the patient was shot by somebody, and he didn't want to discuss the events that resulted in him getting shot in the nuts.

Posted by: Idaho Spudboy at December 20, 2024 11:07 PM (wNu9z)

121 ND up 27-3 on IND with 5 minutes left.

I think this one is ovah.

Posted by: Grump928(C) at December 20, 2024 11:07 PM (aD39U)

122 I have grown to hate modern Christmas music, but Santa Claus is comin' up your butt may force me to rethink.
Posted by: Archimedes

Kid heard it the night before - Dad was singing while locked in master BR with Mom.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at December 20, 2024 11:08 PM (/lPRQ)

123 Jeepers. This is a rout.

Did I mention I hate Notre Dame?
Posted by: nurse ratched, garbage

Due to the "realignment", I hate ALL teams in the playoffs.

Posted by: Some Garbage Rat at December 20, 2024 11:09 PM (+VovS)

124 Exactly 1 month to go.

God speed The Day!

Posted by: mnw at December 20, 2024 11:10 PM (NLIak)

125 Gas pump mama. It serves her right for telling me I had to leave the all you can eat buffet after only being there for an hour.

Posted by: Idaho Spudboy at December 20, 2024 11:13 PM (wNu9z)

126 Still trying to think of a replacement for Tokyo in this song that covers the swamp.

https://youtu.be/muUZjovOFRg

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at December 20, 2024 11:15 PM (VNX3d)

127 I know someone who lost a ball due to a ricochet. He had a son later, proving that God gives you a spare for a reason.

Posted by: Caesar North of the Rubicon at December 20, 2024 11:15 PM (r5tfK)

128 There's an old meme where the teacher asks the class to draw a parent at work, which results in a 2nd grade level crayon drawing of mommy working a stripper pole.

Maybe that little artist grew into the child singing off camera

Posted by: 2009Refugee at December 20, 2024 11:15 PM (8AONa)

129 Hi friends! I just had a lovely dinner with amazing TRex and Grateful. It was a little embarrassing because TRex struggled getting the wine glass off the table with his arms, and he is a bit of an imposing figure out here in the wild, but we made it through! 😊

Posted by: Piper at December 20, 2024 11:16 PM (p4NUW)

130 [iExactly 1 month to go.

God speed The Day!
Posted by: mnw at December 20, 2024 11:10 PM (NLIak)

That just makes it offcial. For all intents and purposes, and considering Joe's dementia and Kammie's imbecility, the world treats Trump as president now. And he's not even using that silly 'Office Of President-Elect' seal Obama used back in '08.

Posted by: RickZ at December 20, 2024 11:17 PM (gKDq2)

131 @Weaponization just dropped a MASSIVE 17,000-page report on the Biden Admin's weaponized federal government.

https://tinyurl.com/3w3547jr

Posted by: Ciampino - machhine guns? at December 20, 2024 11:18 PM (i0xsb)

132
Monthly heartworm med given out to the guys. Who's a good boy?

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at December 20, 2024 11:18 PM (dxSpM)

133 I propose that the patient was shot by somebody, and he didn't want to discuss the events that resulted in him getting shot in the nuts.
Posted by: Idaho Spudboy

Is Lorena Bobbit still alive?

Posted by: nerdygirl at December 20, 2024 11:19 PM (0Htd1)

134 but Santa Claus is comin' up your butt may force me to rethink.
Posted by: Archimedes

Kid heard it the night before - Dad was singing while locked in master BR with Mom.
Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher

This could make a pretty good Hallmark Christmas movie.

Posted by: nerdygirl at December 20, 2024 11:21 PM (0Htd1)

135 Good for you, Piper!

Little get togethers with morons are the best.

Posted by: nurse ratched, garbage at December 20, 2024 11:21 PM (iHpv6)

136 Rat trap is genus.
Posted by: eleven at December 20, 2024 10:41 PM (iziT

It does create order.

Posted by: far cry at December 20, 2024 11:22 PM (0Y8yb)

137 135 Good for you, Piper!

Little get togethers with morons are the best.
Posted by: nurse ratched, garbage at December 20, 2024

These 2 are awesome, which you know. I may continue to exert my bad influence tomorrow and go antiquing with Grateful. After I make people sweat and burn in the morning.

Posted by: Piper at December 20, 2024 11:24 PM (p4NUW)

138 129 Hi friends! I just had a lovely dinner with amazing TRex and Grateful. It was a little embarrassing because TRex struggled getting the wine glass off the table with his arms, and he is a bit of an imposing figure out here in the wild, but we made it through! 😊

Posted by: Piper at December 20, 2024 11:16 PM
***
It was a lovely evening. Thank you! The wine problem got a lot easier after you suggested guzzling straight from the bottle. Rawr.

Posted by: TRex at December 20, 2024 11:25 PM (pfEGd)

139 Santa Claus is comin' up your butt
Unfortunately that works as an earworm.

Posted by: nerdygirl at December 20, 2024 11:25 PM (0Htd1)

140 Count of injured up to 16 in Houthi missile strike in Tel Aviv. All minor injuries I think.

Of course there's a thick, juicy briefing book on Bibi's desk with a menu of options for this and all imaginable contingencies. Question here may be is it time to finally hit Iran in "retaliation"?

Posted by: rhomboid at December 20, 2024 11:25 PM (1m82a)

141 ***
It was a lovely evening. Thank you! The wine problem got a lot easier after you suggested guzzling straight from the bottle. Rawr.
Posted by: TRex at December 20, 2024

That is what friends are for!

Posted by: Piper at December 20, 2024 11:27 PM (p4NUW)

142 I just watched the most pointless movie I think I've seen -
"For the Plasma" - spoilers of course...

A young woman gets invited to a remove Maine house to work for her friend who has some sort of forest fire monitoring job - but she's actually some sort of psychic who can predict stock futures.

And...the film doesn't go anywhere. The non-psychic wanders around Maine...which is pretty enough but...we get no explanation of why the other girl can make these predictions, who she works for, or why the location in Maine matters. The movie ends with the psychic going off for some other employment as her friend asks her to explain anything and she refuses which I guess is meant to echo what the movie writer knew the audience was thinking?

Posted by: 18-1 at December 20, 2024 11:27 PM (oZhjI)

143 This is encouraging.

Son #1 works at Boeing.

He's on a break, they ran out of parts and are farting around in the break room. Someone pulls out a deck of cards and poker chips from their locker. Five guys start playing.

Trump cards. President Donald J Trump playing cards.

Hahahahahahahaha!

Posted by: nurse ratched, garbage at December 20, 2024 11:27 PM (iHpv6)

144 Just got a text from Santa. Said "You ain't gettin' shit!"

Posted by: Crying In My Soup at December 20, 2024 11:28 PM (G5+As)

145 >>@Weaponization just dropped a MASSIVE 17,000-page report on the Biden Admin's weaponized federal government.

I read through some of it today and I've been following the collusion between the feds, big tech and private universities and businesses and even I was taken aback. When the American people who, for the most part, have no idea what was going on finally understand what was done to them by our government I think our numbers will only get bigger. A lot bigger.

We came this >< close to losing this country.

Posted by: JackStraw at December 20, 2024 11:28 PM (LkLld)

146 Hi friends! I just had a lovely dinner with amazing TRex and Grateful. It was a little embarrassing because TRex struggled getting the wine glass off the table with his arms, and he is a bit of an imposing figure out here in the wild, but we made it through! 😊
Posted by: Piper

You do understand with any wild animal, when the food runs out...well, they are wild animals.

Posted by: Some Garbage Rat at December 20, 2024 11:29 PM (+VovS)

147 Trump cards. President Donald J Trump playing cards. Hahahahahahahaha! Posted by: nurse ratched, garbage at December 20, 2024 11:27 PM (iHpv6)

Makes a game of spades go pretty quick.

Posted by: Caesar North of the Rubicon at December 20, 2024 11:33 PM (r5tfK)

148 112 But you wind up with a bucketful of angry rats, which you then have to kill. You can't release rats, because, rats.

Drop a lump of dry ice in the container.

Posted by: Archimedes at December 20, 2024 10:56 PM (xCA6C)

Hose from tailpipe to container. Idle a bit.

Posted by: javems at December 20, 2024 11:34 PM (8I4hW)

149 The guy defending his him can't understand why he is the villain for defending himself...and I can understand that feeling but Soviet America is pretty clear about how this works.

If you are a normie you aren't allowed to keep your stuff - because "your property isn't worth someone's life" even if someone is willing to break into your house and maybe kill you to get it.

In Heritage America you'd draw a lot of shit for being related to a punk that breaks into houses, but that America is long gone. This home owner though should thank God he lives in FL - if that has happened in CA or the Northeast the legal situation could have been much worse...

Posted by: 18-1 at December 20, 2024 11:34 PM (oZhjI)

150 Just got a text from Santa. Said "You ain't gettin' shit!"
Posted by: Crying In My Soup
---------

Yeah. It's all 'Merry Christmas! , until, Santa starts going over the Naughty list.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 20, 2024 11:36 PM (XeU6L)

151
We came this >

Trump has two choices with how to deal with this

1) Starting throwing the weaponizers in jail.

2) Turn the weaponized government on the left

If he doesn't do either we will revert to the mean and in a few years be right back where we are now.

Posted by: 18-1 at December 20, 2024 11:36 PM (oZhjI)

152 138 129 Hi friends! I just had a lovely dinner with amazing TRex and Grateful. It was a little embarrassing because TRex struggled getting the wine glass off the table with his arms, and he is a bit of an imposing figure out here in the wild, but we made it through! 😊

Posted by: Piper at December 20, 2024 11:16 PM
***
It was a lovely evening. Thank you! The wine problem got a lot easier after you suggested guzzling straight from the bottle. Rawr.
Posted by: TRex

Was this in the NoVA area? I recall you asking me about going for a few beers the other night. I work right through the weekend, so my schedule doesn't mesh with most folks.

Posted by: Puddleglum at work at December 20, 2024 11:39 PM (+YRf1)

153 At the hardware store today, over the PA was playing Gene Autry, 'Santa Clause is Coming to Town'. It was great.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 20, 2024 11:41 PM (XeU6L)

154 OK horde.... what do you do when your Son... 33 years old... tells you he will never have children, and that everything you believe in is moot....

The Son who is living in your home, because otherwise he would be homeless....

I'm... conflicted.

Posted by: Romeo13 at December 20, 2024 11:44 PM (QAkQ3)

155 152 Was this in the NoVA area? I recall you asking me about going for a few beers the other night. I work right through the weekend, so my schedule doesn't mesh with most folks.

Posted by: Puddleglum at work at December 20, 2024 11:39 PM
***
Negative. Will catch up with you in the new year.

Posted by: TRex at December 20, 2024 11:45 PM (pfEGd)

156 I'm... conflicted.
Posted by: Romeo13

Tell him you love him.

Posted by: nurse ratched, garbage at December 20, 2024 11:45 PM (iHpv6)

157 156 I'm... conflicted.
Posted by: Romeo13

Tell him you love him.
Posted by: nurse ratched, garbage at December 20, 2024 11:45 PM (iHpv6)

I did... it had no impact.

Posted by: Romeo13 at December 20, 2024 11:46 PM (QAkQ3)

158 146 You do understand with any wild animal, when the food runs out...well, they are wild animals.

Posted by: Some Garbage Rat at December 20, 2024 11:29 PM
***
We consider wine to be food, which helps tame the wild beast.

Posted by: TRex at December 20, 2024 11:46 PM (pfEGd)

159 T - 13 mins

https://www.youtube.com/live/19mgjpnAPVM

Posted by: Ciampino - machhine guns? at December 20, 2024 11:47 PM (i0xsb)

160
Good evening, all.

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at December 20, 2024 11:51 PM (lCaJd)

161 I did... it had no impact.
Posted by: Romeo13

You're not saying it for impact. But he does need to respect you and not be unkind.

Posted by: nurse ratched, garbage at December 20, 2024 11:53 PM (VaV9x)

162 Is it Winter yet?

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at December 20, 2024 11:53 PM (63Dwl)

163
1) Starting throwing the weaponizers in jail.

2) Turn the weaponized government on the left

If he doesn't do either we will revert to the mean and in a few years be right back where we are now.
Posted by: 18-1
====================

#1

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at December 20, 2024 11:55 PM (lCaJd)

164 OK horde.... what do you do when your Son... 33 years old... tells you he will never have children, and that everything you believe in is moot....

The Son who is living in your home, because otherwise he would be homeless....

I'm... conflicted.
Posted by: Romeo13
---------

Tell him you're glad he's not fathering any kids that he obviously can't support? /s kinda

Sorry, Romeo13.. what an awful situation.

Posted by: JQ at December 20, 2024 11:56 PM (YoCnN)

165 The COVID Christmas joke really cracks me up. I needed that this Thanksgiving!

Posted by: keena at December 20, 2024 11:56 PM (Fd8wq)

166 OK horde.... what do you do when your Son... 33 years old... tells you he will never have children, and that everything you believe in is moot....

The Son who is living in your home, because otherwise he would be homeless....

I'm... conflicted.

Posted by: Romeo13 at December 20, 2024 11:44 PM (QAkQ3)

Tell him you're giving his inheritance to the church since he's not having kids and will have nobody to leave it to you're just cutting out the middle man.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at December 20, 2024 11:57 PM (VwHCD)

167 Is it Winter yet?
Posted by: Bertram Cabot,
------

No.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 20, 2024 11:57 PM (XeU6L)

168 #1
Posted by: Blonde Morticia at December 20, 2024 11:55 PM (lCaJd)

Do both. Make it abundantly clear to the Left that weaponizing government is a bad idea.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at December 20, 2024 11:58 PM (8zz6B)

169 OK horde.... what do you do when your Son... 33 years old... tells you he will never have children, and that everything you believe in is moot....

Depends on why he's telling you this.

Is he a hardcore leftist?

Has he so far failed at what he's tried to do in life and is depressed?

If it is more the latter sometimes all it takes is one thing going right - getting a decent job for example - and suddenly the world looks very different.

Posted by: 18-1 at December 20, 2024 11:59 PM (oZhjI)

170 The COVID Christmas joke really cracks me up. I needed that this Thanksgiving!

Posted by: keena at December 20, 2024 11:56 PM (Fd8wq)

Will need it christmas eve since my brother's asshole biden bung licking inlaws will be there.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at December 21, 2024 12:00 AM (VwHCD)

171 OK horde.... what do you do when your Son... 33 years old... tells you he will never have children, and that everything you believe in is moot....

The Son who is living in your home, because otherwise he would be homeless....

I'm... conflicted.
Posted by: Romeo13 at December 20, 2024 11:44 PM (QAkQ3)
---
Throw him out of the house.

Posted by: Ace-Endorsed Author A.H. Lloyd at December 21, 2024 12:01 AM (ZOv7s)

172 Too many moving parts in family dynamics. Most advice is answered with: "The situation is complicated."
And it most certainly always is.

Posted by: Some Garbage Rat at December 21, 2024 12:01 AM (+VovS)

173 Posted by: Blonde Morticia at December 20, 2024 11:55 PM (lCaJd)

---
I vote that we allow these people to be placed in stocks on the village common. Us Deplorable Garbage Bitter Clingers can throw tomatoes at them with wild abandon.

Posted by: Scarymary at December 21, 2024 12:02 AM (F2xQR)

174 Well, I am becoming quite sleepy, so I am going to get an early one. Night, Horde.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at December 21, 2024 12:03 AM (8zz6B)

175 Rather sudden abort on the falcon launch

Posted by: Tom Servo at December 21, 2024 12:04 AM (7MHHr)

176 I vote that we allow these people to be placed in stocks on the village common. Us Deplorable Garbage Bitter Clingers can throw tomatoes at them with wild abandon.
Posted by: Scarymary

Dammit people! The gallows or guillotine, this ain't rocket math.

Posted by: Some Garbage Rat at December 21, 2024 12:05 AM (+VovS)

177 159 T - 13 mins

https://www.youtube.com/live/19mgjpnAPVM

Posted by: Ciampino - machhine guns? at December 20, 2024 11:47 PM (i0xsb)

Woops.

Posted by: javems at December 21, 2024 12:05 AM (8I4hW)

178 I'm trying to be mild in case Bob at NSA is listening....

Posted by: Scarymary at December 21, 2024 12:06 AM (F2xQR)

179 I vote that we allow these people to be placed in stocks on the village common. Us Deplorable Garbage Bitter Clingers can throw tomatoes at them with wild abandon.

Posted by: Scarymary at December 21, 2024 12:02 AM (F2xQR)

Tomatoes? Tomatoes are what you throw at piss poor stage actors. These bastards deserve pig iron.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at December 21, 2024 12:06 AM (VwHCD)

180 The launch was aborted. It rose a couple of feet, lurched really, and then stopped. At this stage I don't know what went wrong.
First time I have seen this and glad nothing blew up as there's about a million pounds of kerosene and liquid oxygen on board.

Posted by: Ciampino - machines at December 21, 2024 12:09 AM (i0xsb)

181 I'm trying to be mild in case Bob at NSA is listening....
Posted by: Scarymary
-----

We would never do such a thin..., uh, nevermind.

Posted by: Robert, an innocent poster at December 21, 2024 12:09 AM (XeU6L)

182 All I have been seeing is positive buzz about the new Superman trailer.

After he makes a snow-crater, he has a super-whistle, and a super-dog wearing a red cape comes and rescues him. Not a joke, I am not making this up.

Grown-ass men will watch this movie, and then go to youtube to stare lovingly into the equally-soulless camera, and gush.

Posted by: BourbonChicken at December 21, 2024 12:10 AM (lhenN)

183 I'm trying to be mild in case Bob at NSA is listening....
Posted by: Scarymary

Mild is for detergent, not people. (smiley face icon here)

Posted by: Some Garbage Rat at December 21, 2024 12:10 AM (+VovS)

184 The launch was aborted. It rose a couple of feet, lurched really, and then stopped. At this stage I don't know what went wrong.

Posted by: Ciampino
--------

TV ad says Blue Pills are the answer.

Posted by: Pharma at December 21, 2024 12:11 AM (XeU6L)

185 Okay, mild is out. It isn't ladylike, but Fuck them with the Barbed Cock of Satan! With a pineapple, sideways!

Posted by: Scarymary at December 21, 2024 12:12 AM (F2xQR)

186 184
TV ad says Blue Pills are the answer.

Posted by: Pharma at December 21, 2024 12:11 AM (XeU6L)
----
Do they go in the LOX or the kerosene?

Posted by: Ciampino - machines that go up at December 21, 2024 12:16 AM (i0xsb)

187 I'm sorry, Romeo13.

You know your son best. Does he respond better to kindness and compassion, or to clear goals and expectations? It's so hard. We don't want to coddle our adult kids, but we don't want to alienate them either.

Posted by: nurse ratched, garbage at December 21, 2024 12:19 AM (OnhE9)

188 "You won’t believe what happened to the only man who asked George Bush about his ties to the Skull and Bones secret society."
---

https://tinyurl.com/yypxt65r

Posted by: Braenyard - some absent friends are more equal than others _ at December 21, 2024 12:19 AM (Qp67s)

189 Okay, mild is out. It isn't ladylike, but Fuck them with the Barbed Cock of Satan! With a pineapple, sideways!

Posted by: Scarymary at December 21, 2024 12:12 AM (F2xQR)

Thats better. lol

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at December 21, 2024 12:23 AM (VwHCD)

190 Ok. And I didn't bring lube either.

Posted by: Scarymary at December 21, 2024 12:24 AM (F2xQR)

191 Attorney General Ken Paxton @KenPaxtonTX 13h

🚨ESG WIN: Wells Fargo withdraws from Net-Zero Banking Alliance. On August 21, I strongly encouraged Wells Fargo leave Net-Zero Banking Alliance due to its unlawful ESG commitments. On December 19, Wells Fargo confirmed that they would leave NZBA because of my request.

Today, Wells Fargo took a step in the right direction by officially ending their affiliation with NZBA, and Texas welcomes them to continue doing business with our great State. I urge other financial institutions to follow their example and end ESG policies that are hostile to our critical oil and gas industries.

Posted by: Braenyard - some absent friends are more equal than others _ at December 21, 2024 12:35 AM (Qp67s)

192 Senate passes the CR. Yea:85, Nay:11

Posted by: Buzz Adrenaline at December 21, 2024 12:39 AM (JRP2U)

193 Well, tonight was strange here at Casa Webworks. I won't bother you with how. It wasn't bad. Just strange. Popping back in to say God Bless Us Every One.

Happy Solstice.
https://youtu.be/InD3FrCya2k

G'nite, y'all.

Posted by: mindful webworker - jingling awl thee weigh at December 21, 2024 12:40 AM (v+OaN)

194 This one is for "public servants" for which there actually is some enabling legislation, dating back to the Obama regime.

I think this one will stick.
Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at December 20, 2024 10:43 PM (W5ArC)

This is going to make DOGE's work a wee bit easier you know.

Posted by: Kindltot at December 21, 2024 12:42 AM (D7oie)

195 Okay, mild is out. It isn't ladylike, but Fuck them with the Barbed Cock of Satan! With a pineapple, sideways!

Posted by: Scarymary at December 21, 2024 12:12 AM (F2xQR)

Actually, reading this again, AOS style guide says flaming barbed wire wrapped pineapple sideways. A regular garden variety pineapple isn't effective. It needs to be... accessorized.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at December 21, 2024 12:43 AM (VwHCD)

196 did you guys notice the lady with the gas pump sticking out of her car accidentally revved her engine for no reason while I think parked?

that was special
Posted by: BlackOrchid

I noticed! I'm thinking she should probably not be allowed behind the wheel.

Posted by: FeatherBlade at December 21, 2024 12:46 AM (mWdS+)

197 Punching out. A good evening to all and to all a good night.

Posted by: TRex at December 21, 2024 12:49 AM (pfEGd)

198 Former First Lady Michelle Obama was seen dancing down the aisle at the Jennifer Hudson show for her appearance.

It is worth noting that in 2008, after Jennifer Hudson's mother, brother, and nephew were found murdered in their Chicago home,

Donald Trump sheltered Jennifer rent-free and ensured her and her remaining family's safety.

"We're protecting them well. They are very safe," Trump said

https://tinyurl.com/3zw87dej

Posted by: Braenyard - some absent friends are more equal than others _ at December 21, 2024 12:55 AM (Qp67s)

199 I was looking up something on Andrew Breitbart and was reminded by my search engine of the Snake Island incident. For those that don't remember, early in the Uke war the Russian Navy demanded the Uke detachment on Snake Island surrender, and the defenders defiantly responded with "Russian warship, go fuck yourself". Zelensky told us the Russians killed them all in response and so he gave the defenders the highest honor in Ukraine, and it became a rallying cry for everyone opposed to Russia.

Except...that's not what happened. The defenders surrendered to the Russians, the family of one of the defenders trademarked the slogan, and the Russians traded them back to Ukraine for some Russian prisoners.

So...even the small details of this war are fake.

Not to argue surrender wasn't the prudent course here - the island is of little worth and the defenders had no chance. But...that's the story of this whole damn war isn't it?

Posted by: 18-1 at December 21, 2024 12:57 AM (oZhjI)

200 The Senate passed the bill.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at December 21, 2024 01:00 AM (63Dwl)

201

It's a Christmas Miracle!!!

Posted by: four seasons at December 21, 2024 01:01 AM (3ek7K)

202 Actually, reading this again, AOS style guide says flaming barbed wire wrapped pineapple sideways. A regular garden variety pineapple isn't effective. It needs to be... accessorized.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at December 21, 2024 12:43 AM (VwHCD)

I live in Texas. I'll find some thorny plants. And I'll claim the Castle Doctrine.

Posted by: Scarymary at December 21, 2024 01:04 AM (F2xQR)

203 “ I have grown to hate modern Christmas music, but Santa Claus is comin' up your butt may force me to rethink.
Posted by: Archimedes

Kid heard it the night before - Dad was singing while locked in master BR with Mom.
Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher “

That is sick and perverted and I can’t stop laughing.

Posted by: Ripley at December 21, 2024 01:08 AM (PTDkx)

204
I'm guessing a lot of ya'll have gone to read what's in the bill. I can save you lots of time: WE ARE STILL SCREWED!!!!

Posted by: four seasons at December 21, 2024 01:09 AM (3ek7K)

205 How does someone go from living at home at 33 and unemployed to finding a wife and having kids? What's the reliable plan to make that happen?

Posted by: BourbonChicken at December 21, 2024 01:10 AM (lhenN)

206 Actually, reading this again, AOS style guide says flaming barbed wire wrapped pineapple sideways. A regular garden variety pineapple isn't effective. It needs to be... accessorized.
Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division

I live in Texas. I'll find some thorny plants. And I'll claim the Castle Doctrine.
Posted by: Scarymary

Cacti are acceptable (see footnote 173.) But they must be 110% the diameter of the average pineapple.

Posted by: mikeski at December 21, 2024 01:15 AM (DgGvY)

207 How does someone go from living at home at 33 and unemployed to finding a wife and having kids? What's the reliable plan to make that happen?
Posted by: BourbonChicken

* waves *

Posted by: Ukrainian Mail Order Brides, LLC at December 21, 2024 01:15 AM (DgGvY)

208 205 How does someone go from living at home at 33 and unemployed to finding a wife and having kids? What's the reliable plan to make that happen?
Posted by: BourbonChicken at December 21, 2024 01:10 AM (lhenN)

Men in prison are finding women to marry no problemo.

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at December 21, 2024 01:16 AM (D6PGr)

209 33 years old, living at home, no motivation?

Sounds like a weed issue.

Posted by: Sebastian Melmoth at December 21, 2024 01:18 AM (D6PGr)

210 My (R) Congresscritter was one who voted Nay. He seems like a (relative) genuine good guy. His opponent was a stupid scrunt who went on about how she was a First Grade Teacher who wanted to SAVE OUR DEMOCRACY!!!

Posted by: Scarymary at December 21, 2024 01:19 AM (F2xQR)

211 The Senate passed the bill.
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at December 21, 2024 01:00 AM

Next up, numerous mysterious "exercise band" accidents during the holidays among the senators and representatives who failed to deliver the 1300 pages worth of pork that got cut from the original budget proposal.

Posted by: Idaho Spudboy at December 21, 2024 01:19 AM (wNu9z)

212 Is it Winter yet?
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr.

https://youtu.be/xrk4d0UEfL8

Posted by: not actually Yuki Kajiura at December 21, 2024 01:23 AM (DgGvY)

213 Cacti are acceptable (see footnote 173.) But they must be 110% the diameter of the average pineapple.

Posted by: mikeski at December 21, 2024 01:15 AM (DgGvY)

There is a a honey locust tree on my property that claims sovereignty. It is a vicious bastard, (like Ken Paxton, state AG, that Magnificent Bastard.)

Posted by: Scarymary at December 21, 2024 01:26 AM (F2xQR)

214 Is this bill any better?

Posted by: Boss Moss at December 21, 2024 01:26 AM (YzqWW)

215 But you wind up with a bucketful of angry rats, which you then have to kill. You can't release rats, because, rats.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon

I saw Bucketful Of Rats open for a double bill of Buckethead and Modest Mouse at some forgotten hole-in-the-wall in '98.

Posted by: mikeski at December 21, 2024 01:31 AM (DgGvY)

216 Is this bill any better?
Posted by: Boss Moss

Rather like Groucho Marx not being a member of any club which would have him as a member, any bill which passes both houses of congress should have passed neither.

Posted by: mikeski at December 21, 2024 01:32 AM (DgGvY)

217 I liked Harpo the best. He was quiet and the harp was rockin'.

Posted by: Scarymary at December 21, 2024 01:39 AM (F2xQR)

218
How does someone go from living at home at 33 and unemployed to finding a wife and having kids? What's the reliable plan to make that happen?
Posted by: BourbonChicken

----------------------

Well, the son said he's not having any kids. I bet marriage isn't in his plans either.

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at December 21, 2024 01:43 AM (lCaJd)

219 Is this bill any better?
Posted by: Boss Moss at December 21, 2024 01:26 AM (YzqWW)

I believe this bill totaled 138 pages worth of outrages against the American public, versus the 1500 plus pages of the original.

I guess that makes this bill 90 percent less evil.

Posted by: Idaho Spudboy at December 21, 2024 01:46 AM (wNu9z)

220 https://tinyurl.com/2f9pxc2r
20 Tweets from Bad Blue

Posted by: Skip at December 21, 2024 01:56 AM (fwDg9)

221 Looks like legend Rickey Henderson died of a heart attack.

Posted by: 13times at December 21, 2024 01:58 AM (gMyx+)

222 > How does someone go from living at home at 33 and unemployed to finding a wife and having kids?

Church?

I'm not a big church-goer myself, but that's probably a good place to look for someone worth wifing.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at December 21, 2024 01:58 AM (W5ArC)

223 > How does someone go from living at home at 33 and unemployed to finding a wife and having kids?

Church?
I'm not a big church-goer myself, but that's probably a good place to look for someone worth wifing.
Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia

I was going to say something about that presupposing someone worth husbanding, but some women like "projects."

Posted by: mikeski at December 21, 2024 02:02 AM (DgGvY)

224 We don't want to coddle our adult kids, but we don't want to alienate them either.
Posted by: nurse ratched, garbage at December 21, 2024 12:19 AM (OnhE9)

Actually, I kicked mine to the curb when he turned 18. Little SOB isn't leeching off me anymore. Sent him to AMYA (military school, essentially), where he got his GED. Then he proceeded to lay about the house, eating my food, making horrendous messes, putting holes in the drywall, smoking dope and heaven knows what else, and NOT getting a job or signing up with the military. He racked up $1500 in driving violations (still hasn't paid them) and got our car insurance canceled. Kid is a dead end. Every time we have reached out to "help" he has made us regret it. I'm done with that.

He is currently couch surfing, I don't know who is buying his drugs, I don't know who buys his clothes, I don't much care.

Nobody can break your heart like your spawn.

Posted by: tcn in AK at December 21, 2024 02:03 AM (xZ/E3)

225 205 How does someone go from living at home at 33 and unemployed to finding a wife and having kids? What's the reliable plan to make that happen?
Posted by: BourbonChicken at December 21, 2024 01:10 AM (lhenN)

Kick his ass to the curb.

Posted by: tcn in AK at December 21, 2024 02:05 AM (xZ/E3)

226 Looks like legend Rickey Henderson died of a heart attack.
Posted by: 13times
-------------
Baseball player, Ricky? Crossed paths with him a few times back in the day.

Posted by: scampydog at December 21, 2024 02:09 AM (41CYW)

227 Usually, I wait for the Christmas Spirit to hit me as it does every year. Though I am very grateful for NOV. 5th and am looking forward to JAN 20th, 2025

The Christmas Spirit hit me two weeks ago with a new Grandson who is Jonathan, and he will be a man amongst men.

Merry Christmas Horde.

Posted by: Nightwatch at December 21, 2024 02:09 AM (TDvv2)

228 Merry Christmas to you and your grandson, Nightwatch.

Posted by: scampydog at December 21, 2024 02:11 AM (41CYW)

229 Jonathan is a Gift from God, Nightwatch. Merry Christmas to you and yours.

Posted by: Scarymary at December 21, 2024 02:14 AM (F2xQR)

230 Baseball player, Ricky? Crossed paths with him a few times back in the day.
Posted by: scampydog at December 21, 2024 02:09 AM (41CYW)

Yes. And he's was too young to die.

Posted by: 13times at December 21, 2024 02:19 AM (AWt0a)

231 Way late.
Later, gators.

Posted by: Buzz Adrenaline at December 21, 2024 02:23 AM (JRP2U)

232 Shortly after Elon Musk tweeted that only AfD can save Germany, suddenly the European press are claiming that the Saudi doctor who mowed down Christmas shoppers is an Anti-Islamist and AfD supporter.

Is this the left's most egregious lie (this week)? Or is Bizarro World just getting more bizarre?

Posted by: Rusty Nail at December 21, 2024 02:23 AM (TdCYS)

233 I will now punch "Play" on the classic Vince Guaraldi trio's

A Charlie Brown's Christmas

my fav...

Posted by: Nightwatch at December 21, 2024 02:24 AM (TDvv2)

234 >I was going to say something about that presupposing someone worth husbanding, but some women like "projects."

Some people have to be loved =before= they become lovable.

Posted by: BourbonChicken at December 21, 2024 02:24 AM (lhenN)

235 234

AAAHHhh. I think that sweet and somewhat romantic

but... I could be wrong.

Posted by: Nightwatch at December 21, 2024 02:27 AM (TDvv2)

236 Taking a man on as a project to be improved is a pretty bad idea. Loving him anyway and shrugging when he is a goofus is better.

Posted by: Scarymary at December 21, 2024 02:30 AM (F2xQR)

237 Good Lord, awake to late this ONT.

Informed I am that I will be BBQ Master for many people tomorrow.

Tri-Tip, Chicken and Hot Links for 20....dang gotta hit the rack.

Night Horde!!

Posted by: Nightwatch at December 21, 2024 02:36 AM (TDvv2)

238 Yes. And he's was too young to die.
Posted by: 13times
-----------
Dang. Yes, way too young. Five tool player. He was a physical specimen. Gym story, Ricky spoke in third person. He started unloading the weights, I told him I wasn't done. He said, "Ricky is ready to lift. Ricky is gonna lift."

Posted by: scampydog at December 21, 2024 02:39 AM (41CYW)

239 Shortly after Elon Musk tweeted that only AfD can save Germany, suddenly the European press are claiming that the Saudi doctor who mowed down Christmas shoppers is an Anti-Islamist and AfD supporter.

Is this the left's most egregious lie (this week)? Or is Bizarro World just getting more bizarre?

Posted by: Rusty Nail at December 21, 2024 02:23 AM (TdCYS)

How dummkopf do they think the average German is?!

Posted by: pookysgirl sez NEIN at December 21, 2024 02:40 AM (dtlDP)

240 The Christmas Spirit hit me two weeks ago with a new Grandson who is Jonathan, and he will be a man amongst men.

Merry Christmas Horde.
Posted by: Nightwatch at December 21, 2024 02:09 AM (TDvv2)

As a mom, I just have to say, sniff that head.... Not like a Biden, like a mom.

Posted by: tcn in AK at December 21, 2024 02:44 AM (xZ/E3)

241 The Son who is living in your home, because otherwise he would be homeless....

I'm... conflicted.
Posted by: Romeo13

It's hard to know what to do. As a parent you are supposed to care for your children. Just dumping them in the street even at adult ages sounds straightforward. But that doesn't feel right either.

I know too many people in my age cohort who have an adult son living at home that failed to launch.

Posted by: blaster at December 21, 2024 02:59 AM (QfvaV)

242 As a parent you are supposed to care for your children. Just dumping them in the street even at adult ages sounds straightforward. But that doesn't feel right either.

I know too many people in my age cohort who have an adult son living at home that failed to launch.
Posted by: blaster at December 21, 2024 02:59 AM (QfvaV)

I do care for my child. That's why my heart is broken. But you can determine to be a victim, or determine not to be. I choose not to be. I gave that child every chance to succeed. I still pay for his cell phone, health insurance, dental, vision. But what I won't do is let him infect my house with his drug use, his disregard, his abuse, and his general uselessness.

Every night I pray that he is okay, not dead, not drugged into a stupor, not selling his body to buy drugs. I can pray it, but God will have to see to it. I can't push that rope to any advantage. Either the kid figures it out, or he doesn't.

I hate it. But I can't change it.

Posted by: tcn in AK at December 21, 2024 03:08 AM (xZ/E3)

243 Blessed St. Monica, who prayed her son St. Augustine into heaven, intercede for us for our wayward sons, who have strayed from family, from safety, from responsibility, from God, and bring them by your benevolent care and your influence with our Divine Assistance to the safety and care of Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, who knows our deepest love and desire for our sons and their well being. Save them through no good works of our own but by the merits of Your Holy Body and Blood, and bring them to Your Peace, which surpasses all human understanding. With every faith in your intercession, we believe you can save them. Through Christ Our Lord, Amen.

Posted by: tcn in AK at December 21, 2024 03:34 AM (xZ/E3)

244 Pixy's up, early.

Posted by: Nazdar at December 21, 2024 03:47 AM (NcvvS)

245 No rest for the weary, work today, double job Monday

Posted by: Skip at December 21, 2024 03:49 AM (fwDg9)

246 The Christmas Spirit hit me two weeks ago with a new Grandson who is Jonathan, and he will be a man amongst men.

Merry Christmas Horde.
Posted by: Nightwatch

*fistbump*
My newest (no. 3) grandson came into this world yesterday morning.
Merry Christmas indeed NW.

Posted by: Sock Monkey * Justice for Ashli at December 21, 2024 04:11 AM (goY6W)

247 So would you rather have him hanging out and messing up your life or walking out the door telling you to eat a bag of dicks and never contacting you or responding to you for going on twelve years?

Posted by: pawn (on his new laptop!!!) at December 21, 2024 05:08 AM (Lo11P)

248 WeirdDave!

Posted by: Candidus at December 21, 2024 08:23 AM (FW1NF)

249 But you wind up with a bucketful of angry rats, which you then have to kill. You can't release rats, because, rats.
Posted by: Alberta Oil

....

Antifreeze is your friend in these situations

Posted by: TexasDan at December 21, 2024 09:49 PM (rAsBA)

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