Saturday Overnight Open Thread (6/8/24)

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The Saturday Night Joke

It’s an oldie but always funny

An old man was sitting on a bench in the mall when a young man with spiked hair came over and sat down beside him. The boy's hair was yellow, green, orange, and purple. He had black makeup around his eyes. The old man just stared at him.

Finally the boy said, "what's the matter, old man, haven't you ever done anything wild in your life?"

The old man thought for a while and answered, "well yes, actually, I have, I once got drunk and fucked a parrot. I was just wondering if you were my son."

From commenter: “dhmosquito”

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Moar Humor

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Do you know what I enjoy about Lake Superior? No sharks!

SHOCKING footage shows a beachgoer wrestling with a shark as he grabs it by the tail and drags it back into the sea.
The shark was accidentally hooked on a fishing rod and pulled out of the water in New Jersey, US.

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There is going to be one hell of a detour.

UPDATED: 'Catastrophic' failure on Teton Pass; WYDOT to rebuild section; no timeline available

UPDATE, 2:48 p.m.: WYDOT Director Darin Westby called Teton Pass "a lifeline" in a statement he posted on the agency's social media channels. He assured residents that agency employees remain on site "decisively engaged on fixing the road and restoring connectivity to the Teton Valley.”
UPDATE, 2:40 p.m.: St. John's Hospital has assembled a team to consider the impacts an extended Teton Pass closure will have on its staff. No changes to services or hours are expected at this time.
UPDATE, 11:58 a.m.: Wyoming Gov. Mark Gordon met with state officials this morning from the Wyoming Department of Transportation and Wyoming Office of Homeland Security "to coordinate a response to the catastrophic landslide that has closed Teton Pass."

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There is no math on The ONT. But we do have science lessons. Every thing you wanted to know about cicadas STDs. But, were afraid to ask.

The two species have been found with the viral STD, called Massospora cicadina, in southern parts of Illinois.
Brood XIII cicadas are mostly in Illinois, Iowa, and Wisconsin, while Brood XIX is found south and east from there.
The fungal infection targets only the 13-17-year periodical cicadas.
It invades male cicadas and causes their gonads to be ripped from their bodies

The following story: Moar science!

Mom didn’t know she was pregnant and gave birth at Golden Corral. See the baby’s fitting name
Tayvia Woodfork went to the all-you-can-eat buffet chain for lunch. She left with a baby boy.

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Why Didn’t They Just Bomb the Beaches of Normandy Before Carrying Out the D-Day Landing?">Smart Military Blog material?

When we delve into the strategic and operational decisions surrounding the D-Day landings, the question of why the beaches of Normandy were not bombarded more effectively prior to the invasion becomes more complex. The reality is, the Allies did indeed launch an extensive bombardment campaign, but several factors influenced its perceived effectiveness.

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Once again, The ONT demonstrates it is a giving entity. The ONT Is Always Looking Out For You.^TM

Four Survival Myths That Could Get You Killed
Our expert weighs in on some misconceptions about how to live through real-life survival scenarios
Spend enough time in the outdoors, and you’re bound to wonder how you would handle a true survival scenario. Could you gather and forage enough food? Could you build a strong survival shelter to keep you warm and dry? Could you start a fire…in the pouring rain? These are the skills of a total outdoorsperson. But there are nearly as many survival myths out there as there are skills—and some of those myths could lead to disaster if and when the you-know-what hits the fan. Here are four of those myths, and what you can learn from them to help prepare you for whatever the wild throws your way

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Living in the sticks in Flyover Country has it's advantages......

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Grand theft ~~auto~~ Legos.

LAPD seizes more than 2,800 boxes of LEGOs in massive retail theft bust
Richard Siegel, 71, was arrested on suspicion of organized retail theft while Blanca Gudino, 39, was on suspicion of grand theft.
LOS ANGELES (KABC) -- Two people were arrested this week in connection with a retail theft ring that allegedly stole thousands of LEGO toys from several Southern California retailers.
Blanca Gudino, 39, of Lawndale, and 71-year-old Richard Siegel were taken into custody after police served a search warrant at Siegel's home in Long Beach

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The ONT Musical Interlude & Tortilla Emporium

No more scream!

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Who is having a birthday today?
1944 - Boz Scaggs
American singer, songwriter, and guitarist Boz Scaggs, who was a member of The Marksmen with Steve Miller, The Wigs, and as a solo artist had the 1976 US No.3 single 'Lowdown', and the 1977 US No.11 and UK No.13 single 'Lido Shuffle'. via thisdayinmusic.com

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Criminal mischief my ass. That and a Genius Award.

A kilt-wearing Texas man today pleaded guilty to taking merchandise from antique stores and shoving the items up his rectum before returning them to display shelves.
Mitchell Vest, 60, copped to criminal mischief in connection with vile incidents earlier this year at shops in Spring, a Houston suburb.
As part of a plea deal, the 6’6”, 250-pound Vest was sentenced in Harris County Criminal Court to 12 months probation. Since Vest is a first-time offender, if he successfully completes the probationary term, the misdemeanor conviction could be wiped from his record.

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It is the weekend. And I really do attempt to make the Saturday ONT free of politics and serious current events. However, tonight we have a Tonight's Feel Good Story of The Day.

CHOPPER ESCAPE Watch moment Israeli commandos bundle rescued Noa Argamani into chopper after daylight raid on Gaza to free 4 hostages
Officers from an elite police counter-terrorism unit along with Shin Bet agents raided two buildings in the heart of central Gaza.
THIS is the startling moment Israeli commandos bundle a rescued Noa Argamani into a chopper following a daylight raid on Gaza to free four hostages.
Footage released by the IDF, shows the 25-year-old Israeli scramble into the helicopter wearing a bullet-proof vest and a helmet.

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Tonight's ONT has been brought to you by Unfair Advantages.

Notice: Posted with permission by the ~~Ace Media Empire & AceCorp, LLC.~~ International Brotherhood of Hamsters and The Fabulous.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at 10:00 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 “Words are, of course, the most powerful drug used by mankind.”
~Rudyard Kipling

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar (hOUT3) ~ Next year in Corsicana - again! ~ at June 08, 2024 10:01 PM (hOUT3)

2 Beach!

Posted by: lin-duh at June 08, 2024 10:01 PM (PZo5T)

3 Here, MisHum. But who knows how long. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Posted by: OrangeEnt at June 08, 2024 10:01 PM (0eaVi)

4 interesting

Posted by: Ciampino - Fri Update #24 at June 08, 2024 10:01 PM (qfLjt)

5 Good evening horde. Have a good ONT. To the content!! Thanks MisHum (in advance).

Posted by: TRex at June 08, 2024 10:01 PM (IQ6Gq)

6 Good night everyone

Posted by: Skip at June 08, 2024 10:02 PM (fwDg9)

7 1 That's why they need to be regulated by the govt.

Posted by: Dig gp Must at June 08, 2024 10:02 PM (MvF+J)

8 3 Here, MisHum. But who knows how long. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Posted by: OrangeEnt at June 08, 2024 10:01 PM (0eaVi)

You should have napped earlier OE.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian Who Lives In The Thawed Out Tundra at June 08, 2024 10:03 PM (QXQ4l)

9 Top 10?

Posted by: Admiral Spinebender at June 08, 2024 10:04 PM (hftn9)

10
This ONT has been nominated for the Nobel Prize in Literature.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at June 08, 2024 10:04 PM (MoZTd)

11 Evening all, and thank you MisHum! Now to peruse the content.

Posted by: Some Rat at June 08, 2024 10:04 PM (vJiyU)

12 It invades male cicadas and causes their gonads to be ripped from their bodies

So, female cicadas now are fat with purple hair and nose rings?

Posted by: OrangeEnt at June 08, 2024 10:04 PM (0eaVi)

13 10
This ONT has been nominated for the Nobel Prize in Literature.
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at June 08, 2024 10:04 PM (MoZTd)

I am humbled by this nomination.
Thank you Hadrian.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian Who Lives In The Thawed Out Tundra at June 08, 2024 10:04 PM (QXQ4l)

14 causes their gonads to be ripped from their bodies

Used to date her.

Posted by: Commissar of Plenty and Lysenkoism at June 08, 2024 10:05 PM (U2x9m)

15 There is going to be one hell of a detour.

I checked Google Maps - to get from Driggs, Idaho (where a lot of Jackson's workforce lives) to Jackson, WY without Teton Pass takes 1 hours and 50 minutes without traffic.

Prepare yourself for all the articles explaining that this is the fault of gerbil warbeling.

Posted by: The ARC of History! at June 08, 2024 10:05 PM (uxCna)

16
*peers at paper more closely*

Sorry, that was the Nobble Prize. Which is a gold-wrapped chocolate medallion.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at June 08, 2024 10:06 PM (MoZTd)

17 Porch pirates suck.

Posted by: TRex at June 08, 2024 10:06 PM (IQ6Gq)

18 Strange noises are emanating from my closet.

I hope it's Kaylee the Calico Kitty Cat (the cutest little cat of them all) and not the boogeyman...

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at June 08, 2024 10:06 PM (BpYfr)

19 gonads ripped from the body - - - - - yikes!

wiped from his record - - - - - heh!

Very nice ONT, Mis Hum.

Posted by: LRob in OK at June 08, 2024 10:07 PM (TSQkU)

20 Porch pirates suck.
Posted by: TRex at June 08, 2024 10:06 PM (IQ6Gq)
---
It's a shame we can't mount the skeleton of the previous porch pirate in a cage outside our house in order to deter the next porch pirate...

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at June 08, 2024 10:07 PM (BpYfr)

21 As part of a plea deal, the 6’6”, 250-pound Vest was sentenced in Harris County Criminal Court to 12 months probation. Since Vest is a first-time offender, if he successfully completes the probationary term, the misdemeanor conviction could be wiped from his record.

Yeah? Well, what about the antiques?

Posted by: OrangeEnt at June 08, 2024 10:07 PM (0eaVi)

22 Good evening morons and thanks mh

Usually foggy and cold at the beach here

Posted by: San Franpsycho at June 08, 2024 10:08 PM (RIvkX)

23 OK. Who needs bail money?

Posted by: San Franpsycho at June 08, 2024 10:09 PM (RIvkX)

24 16
*peers at paper more closely*

Sorry, that was the Nobble Prize. Which is a gold-wrapped chocolate medallion.
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at June 08, 2024 10:06 PM (MoZTd)

I would rather have that anyway.
I love chocolate.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian Who Lives In The Thawed Out Tundra at June 08, 2024 10:09 PM (QXQ4l)

25 Good evening and good night. Long flight early in the morning tomorrow.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at June 08, 2024 10:09 PM (4X2LN)

26 You should have napped earlier OE.
Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian Who Lives In The Thawed Out Tundra at June 08, 2024 10:03 PM (QXQ4l)

I'm old. You never know wh

Posted by: OrangeEnt at June 08, 2024 10:09 PM (0eaVi)

27 >>>The fungal infection targets only the 13-17-year periodical cicadas.

It invades male cicadas and causes their gonads to be ripped from their bodies

This seems like something that would happen in southern Illinois.

Posted by: Dr. T at June 08, 2024 10:10 PM (jGGMD)

28 I was never The Who. I was Beatles and Zeppelin.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at June 08, 2024 10:10 PM (RIvkX)

29 Is there nothing he can't do?

RNC Research
@RNCResearch
Biden, in France, claims he's a "student of French history"

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, The Outlaw Donald Trump 2024 at June 08, 2024 10:10 PM (L/fGl)

30 CNN criticized after saying Israeli hostages were 'released' by Hamas

https://mol.im/a/13509691

Bastards. Hot irons won't be enough.

Posted by: Ciampino - Sat Update #01 at June 08, 2024 10:11 PM (qfLjt)

31
Val has had a quiet day. I cut the size of the pen off the back door by two-thirds so that he doesn't run around. I go out with him and get him back inside as soon as he starts trotting up to the door. I hope he's healing.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at June 08, 2024 10:12 PM (MoZTd)

32 Sorry, that was the Nobble Prize. Which is a gold-wrapped chocolate medallion.
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at June 08, 2024 10:06 PM (MoZTd)

I would rather have that anyway.
I love chocolate.
Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian Who Lives In The Thawed Out Tundra at June 08, 2024 10:09 PM (QXQ4l)

Hey baby!

Posted by: Stacey "TanK" Abrams at June 08, 2024 10:12 PM (0eaVi)

33 20 Porch pirates suck.
Posted by: TRex at June 08, 2024 10:06 PM (IQ6Gq)
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It's a shame we can't mount the skeleton of the previous porch pirate in a cage outside our house in order to deter the next porch pirate...

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at June 08, 2024 10:07 PM
***
Amen. Then we could write a book (with pictures) so others would know. The plot wouldn't be that complicated, but there would be a moral to the story.

Posted by: TRex at June 08, 2024 10:12 PM (IQ6Gq)

34 Good evening everyone.

Posted by: Tonypete at June 08, 2024 10:12 PM (WXNFJ)

35 Python Swallows Woman Whole In Indonesia...

https://shorturl.at/Qkgi5

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I can't believe I ate the whole thing!

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, The Outlaw Donald Trump 2024 at June 08, 2024 10:12 PM (L/fGl)

36 OK. Who needs bail money?
Posted by: San Franpsycho

Me, dad seems to be in a bit of a snit.

Posted by: hunter ya know ya love me, right sis? at June 08, 2024 10:12 PM (vJiyU)

37 Very nice ONT, Mis Hum.
Posted by: LRob in OK at June 08, 2024 10:07 PM (TSQkU)

Thanks.

So have you been fishing for those delicious bluegills & crappies?

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian Who Lives In The Thawed Out Tundra at June 08, 2024 10:13 PM (QXQ4l)

38 Old and busted: Ukraine can't use US weapons to strike Russia

New and cool: Biden Tells Ukraine They Can’t Strike Moscow, Kremlin With U.S. Weapons

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, The Outlaw Donald Trump 2024 at June 08, 2024 10:13 PM (L/fGl)

39 A fungus that rips off your genitalia? You wait 17 years to come out and do the nasty with as many females as possible as your only reason to wake up, and this is what you wake up to? Damn. That's a hell of a brutally ironic twist.

Posted by: Admiral Spinebender at June 08, 2024 10:13 PM (hftn9)

40 So have you been fishing for those delicious bluegills & crappies?

Too damned hot lately, and I've been watching the wheat harvest. I'll get to them.

Posted by: LRob in OK at June 08, 2024 10:14 PM (TSQkU)

41 Thanks for the dandy Saturday Night ONT, Mis Hum!

Great joke!

That Teton Pass slide is incredible, much like the roadway along the Yellowstone River that did something similar two years ago...

Posted by: Legally Sufficient at June 08, 2024 10:14 PM (U3L4U)

42 Awesome Norm joke to commemorate Buttfuck Month.

Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt at June 08, 2024 10:14 PM (ufFY8)

43 27 >>>The fungal infection targets only the 13-17-year periodical cicadas.

It invades male cicadas and causes their gonads to be ripped from their bodies

This seems like something that would happen in southern Illinois.

Posted by: Dr. T at June 08, 2024 10:10 PM (jGGMD)
----
What you looking at eh!?

Posted by: Good thing we live in Southern Illinois .... wait .... at June 08, 2024 10:15 PM (qfLjt)

44 >>A kilt-wearing Texas man today pleaded guilty to taking merchandise from antique stores and shoving the items up his rectum before returning them to display shelves.

Rectum? Damn near killed 'um!!

Posted by: Taq, Rickrolled by Jesus at June 08, 2024 10:16 PM (iRX3h)

45 Old and busted: Ukraine can't use US weapons to strike Russia

New and cool: Biden Tells Ukraine They Can’t Strike Moscow, Kremlin With U.S. Weapons
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, The Outlaw Donald Trump 2024 at June 08, 2024 10:13 PM (L/fGl)
====
This is the kind of f*ck-up Biden is known for...

Posted by: San Franpsycho at June 08, 2024 10:17 PM (RIvkX)

46 40 So have you been fishing for those delicious bluegills & crappies?

Too damned hot lately, and I've been watching the wheat harvest. I'll get to them.
Posted by: LRob in OK at June 08, 2024 10:14 PM (TSQkU)

We will have to discuss the OK fishing in October at the MoMe. It might be worth a trip?

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian Who Lives In The Thawed Out Tundra at June 08, 2024 10:17 PM (QXQ4l)

47 A kilt-wearing Texas man today pleaded guilty to taking merchandise from antique stores and shoving the items up his rectum before returning them to display shelves.

Rectum? Damn near killed 'um!!
Posted by: Taq, Rickrolled by Jesus

So it IS true!

Posted by: She Hobbit at June 08, 2024 10:17 PM (ftFVW)

48 "There is going to be one hell of a detour."

Mayor Buttplug, Mayor Buttplug, pickup a white courtesy phone please. Mayor Buttplug, please pickup a white courtesy phone.

He'll get it fixed in no time!

Yeah...no.

Posted by: Gref at June 08, 2024 10:18 PM (5fDan)

49 We will have the chat, Mis Hum. The weather is nice in October.

Posted by: LRob in OK at June 08, 2024 10:18 PM (TSQkU)

50 Japan would have that pass fixed inside two weeks.

Posted by: Taq, Rickrolled by Jesus at June 08, 2024 10:19 PM (iRX3h)

51 Appreciate the d-day story. We were there a decade ago and appreciated being able to physically get a sense of the topography, defensive positions, etc. The size of some of the remaining craters is proof of the magnitude of inbound shells.

Posted by: TRex at June 08, 2024 10:19 PM (IQ6Gq)

52 This ONT has been nominated for the Nobel Prize in Literature.
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at June 08, 2024 10:04 PM (MoZTd)

So who brought the fuses so we can blow this bitch up? Or maybe just blow the margins?

Posted by: RickZ at June 08, 2024 10:19 PM (gKDq2)

53 Dispatches from the 'Pride of depravity' wars. On a pasta forum I frequent, a member posted a picture of her 'Pride' pasta (rainbow colored). Immediately, a host of posters protested that this was a no politics, no issues forum. Admin killed those comments and said all types of pasta are to be welcomed. I then posted (lifted) pictures of MAGA pastas. Surprisingly, I was banned - later I found out a donnybrook, an ado and a melee broke out with a sizable # of members leaving the forum.

Apparently, inclusion only goes one way.

But you knew that.

Posted by: Tonypete at June 08, 2024 10:21 PM (WXNFJ)

54
RIP to Apollo 8 astronaut Willian Anders. Good Lord, what a way to go. Piloting your T-34 at 90 and crashing in the drink. Talk about going out in blaze of glory.

Anders was the one who took the famous Earthrise photo.

Thanks to high resolution Moon mapping by the LRO, they've been able to determine Apollo 8's exact position and attitude relative to the Moon when the photo was taken: https://tinyurl.com/paku2o5

They overlaid the cockpit audio during that.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at June 08, 2024 10:22 PM (w6EFb)

55 Apparently, inclusion only goes one way.

But you knew that.
Posted by: Tonypete

Yes, because it's not really inclusion at all.

Posted by: She Hobbit at June 08, 2024 10:22 PM (ftFVW)

56 Sorry I'm late, Elvis wouldn't let me borrow his jumpsuit.

Posted by: tankdemon at June 08, 2024 10:22 PM (/BXxQ)

57 50 Japan would have that pass fixed inside two weeks.
Posted by: Taq, Rickrolled by Jesus at June 08, 2024 10:19 PM (iRX3h)

2 weeks? Hell Americans wouldn't have the grift outline written out yet.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian Who Lives In The Thawed Out Tundra at June 08, 2024 10:23 PM (QXQ4l)

58 New and cool: Biden Tells Ukraine They Can’t Strike Moscow, Kremlin With U.S. Weapons

This is the Cuban Missile Crisis starting up again, only this time with idiots.

Posted by: The ARC of History! at June 08, 2024 10:24 PM (uxCna)

59 Admin killed those comments and said all types of pasta are to be welcomed. I then posted (lifted) pictures of MAGA pastas.
Posted by: Tonypete at June 08, 2024 10:21 PM

Tonypete: "Challenge accepted."

That's how you do it, right there. I only wish we had screenshots of the exchange, and of the aftermath.

Posted by: Taq, Rickrolled by Jesus at June 08, 2024 10:24 PM (iRX3h)

60 I'm no geologist, or roadologist for that matter, but it appears that WYDOT built that road using only dirt as the fill to bring it up to road grade initially.

Ummm, where the rock fill? It's not like there isn't any nearby.

Posted by: Tonypete at June 08, 2024 10:25 PM (WXNFJ)

61 53 Dispatches from the 'Pride of depravity' wars. On a pasta forum I frequent, a member posted a picture of her 'Pride' pasta (rainbow colored). Immediately, a host of posters protested that this was a no politics, no issues forum. Admin killed those comments and said all types of pasta are to be welcomed. I then posted (lifted) pictures of MAGA pastas. Surprisingly, I was banned - later I found out a donnybrook, an ado and a melee broke out with a sizable # of members leaving the forum.

Apparently, inclusion only goes one way.

But you knew that.
Posted by: Tonypete at June 08, 2024 10:21 PM (WXNFJ)

Pasta forum? You really need to get a hobby or 2.

Nice to know there are Pasta Nazis to go along with the Soup Nazis.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian Who Lives In The Thawed Out Tundra at June 08, 2024 10:25 PM (QXQ4l)

62 Evening, ONT'ers, and of course to our host, MisHum.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at June 08, 2024 10:27 PM (D7OgD)

63 100 degrees in Las Cruces today. If you believe the media this is a climate change catastrophe. For the rest of us this is known as summer.

Posted by: Alteria Pilgram at June 08, 2024 10:27 PM (Te7BW)

64 MisHum, I wish I still had the link, but Japan fixed a different type, but similar magnitude roadway blockage after an earthquake split a major highway apart. Two weeks.

What's "Get 'er done!" In Japanese?

Posted by: Taq, Rickrolled by Jesus at June 08, 2024 10:27 PM (iRX3h)

65 Howdy, 'ettes and 'rons, and thanks Mis Hum for the ONT content.

I need that scope when I play pool - suddenly, all the geometry and physics I studied leaves my brain when I have a cue in hand.

Posted by: Schnorflepuppy at June 08, 2024 10:28 PM (v23vE)

66 What's "Get 'er done!" In Japanese?
Posted by: Taq, Rickrolled by Jesus

"Lite f**king now!!!"

Posted by: Tonypete at June 08, 2024 10:28 PM (WXNFJ)

67 Noa Argamani is finally reunited with mother after Hamas hostage hell

https://mol.im/a/13509347

Posted by: Ciampino - All the good news from Israel, yeah! at June 08, 2024 10:29 PM (qfLjt)

68 Pasta? Does every thread on this site turn into a food thread?

Posted by: TRex at June 08, 2024 10:29 PM (IQ6Gq)

69 Love the joke, MisHum!

Posted by: All Hail Eris at June 08, 2024 10:29 PM (FkUwd)

70 "It invades male cicadas and causes their gonads to be ripped from their bodies"....

Thanks, now I'll have nightmares.

Posted by: Cannibal Bob at June 08, 2024 10:29 PM (o2zz+)

71 Pasta? Does every thread on this site turn into a food thread?
Posted by: TRex

Or Boobs.

This is known.

Posted by: Tonypete at June 08, 2024 10:30 PM (WXNFJ)

72 This is the Cuban Missile Crisis starting up again, only this time with idiots.
Posted by: The ARC of History!

And most of TPTB are old enough to know better, funny that.

Posted by: She Hobbit at June 08, 2024 10:30 PM (ftFVW)

73 This is the Cuban Missile Crisis starting up again, only this time with idiots.

Senior US officials during the Cuban Missile Crisis were acutely aware that we were on the cusp of nuclear war, and acted accordingly.

Now, our senior officials have convinced themselves that Putin won't escalate under any circumstances, so it is perfectly OK to lob US missiles with US targeting deep into Russia, so long as we aren't actually dropping a HIMARS onto Red Square.

Posted by: The ARC of History! at June 08, 2024 10:30 PM (uxCna)

74 Sorry I'm late, Elvis wouldn't let me borrow his jumpsuit.
Posted by: tankdemon at June 08, 2024 10:22 PM (/BXxQ)
====
Glad I could help.

Posted by: Jack LaLanne at June 08, 2024 10:30 PM (RIvkX)

75 A fungus that rips off your genitalia?

We have a lab working on bringing this to deserving young Americans in conjunction with Planned Parenthood and Pfizer.

Posted by: Boston Children's Hosptital at June 08, 2024 10:30 PM (DsA2n)

76 Good thing Mitchell Vest is used to having things shoved up his rectum.

Posted by: All Hail Eris at June 08, 2024 10:31 PM (FkUwd)

77 Does every thread on this site turn into a food thread?
Posted by: TRex

I thought they all became movie threads. Or bewbs.

Posted by: She Hobbit at June 08, 2024 10:31 PM (ftFVW)

78 I seem to remember reading about Knitting Nazis a few years ago. The same people blew up the biggest knitting community on the internet, and in the same manner.

What you love, they will come to destroy it, with very few exceptions.

Posted by: Taq, Rickrolled by Jesus at June 08, 2024 10:31 PM (iRX3h)

79 68 Pasta? Does every thread on this site turn into a food thread?
Posted by: TRex at June 08, 2024 10:29 PM (IQ6Gq)

Perhaps I should implement new rules.
1st 100 comments no food or boobs.
And no margin blowing.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian Who Lives In The Thawed Out Tundra at June 08, 2024 10:31 PM (QXQ4l)

80 I checked Google Maps - to get from Driggs, Idaho (where a lot of Jackson's workforce lives) to Jackson, WY without Teton Pass takes 1 hours and 50 minutes without traffic.

Prepare yourself for all the articles explaining that this is the fault of gerbil warbeling.
Posted by: The ARC of History! at June 08, 2024 10:05 PM (uxCna)

That whole stretch of road pictured was built on fill. Probably got water-saturated from rain or snow melt. I think this would classed as a rotational slip landslide.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at June 08, 2024 10:32 PM (D7OgD)

81 51 Appreciate the d-day story. We were there a decade ago and appreciated being able to physically get a sense of the topography, defensive positions, etc. The size of some of the remaining craters is proof of the magnitude of inbound shells.
Posted by: TRex at June 08, 2024 10:19 PM (IQ6Gq)

That aspect of Pointe du Hoc also struck me. The shell craters are covered with grass now, but they're still deep and numerous.

Posted by: Schnorflepuppy at June 08, 2024 10:32 PM (v23vE)

82 Florida can put it away on this power play.

Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt at June 08, 2024 10:32 PM (ufFY8)

83 Noa Argamani is finally reunited with mother after Hamas hostage hell

Her mom has stage 4 brain cancer and is going to die soon.

It's good that Noa got to see her near the end.

Posted by: The ARC of History! at June 08, 2024 10:32 PM (uxCna)

84 food, bewbs, movies and gubs. The four horsemen of AoS.

Posted by: TRex at June 08, 2024 10:32 PM (IQ6Gq)

85 What's "Get 'er done!" In Japanese?
Posted by: Taq, Rickrolled by Jesus at June 08, 2024 10:27 PM (iRX3h)

Nanking!

Posted by: RickZ at June 08, 2024 10:32 PM (gKDq2)

86 65
I need that scope when I play pool - suddenly, all the geometry and physics I studied leaves my brain when I have a cue in hand.

Posted by: Schnorflepuppy at June 08, 2024 10:28 PM (v23vE)
----
Try minorityPhysics. Report back when done.

Posted by: Ciampino - Sat Update #03 at June 08, 2024 10:33 PM (qfLjt)

87 Yeah? Well, what about the antiques?
Posted by: OrangeEnt at June 08, 2024 10:07 PM (0eaVi)

As part of his "community service" he should be required to lick them all clean.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at June 08, 2024 10:33 PM (D7OgD)

88 Evenin’, All. The NoVa MoMe went off without a hitch.

Thank you, Bluebell and Weasel!

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at June 08, 2024 10:33 PM (v6JzV)

89 I seem to remember reading about Knitting Nazis a few years ago. The same people blew up the biggest knitting community on the internet, and in the same manner.

What you love, they will come to destroy it, with very few exceptions.
Posted by: Taq, Rickrolled by Jesus

Right - I think that was Ravelry. The left can only destroy, never build up.

Posted by: Tonypete at June 08, 2024 10:34 PM (WXNFJ)

90 And no margin blowing.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian Who Lives In The Thawed Out Tundra at June 08, 2024 10:31 PM (QXQ4l)

Party pooper!

Posted by: Margins at June 08, 2024 10:34 PM (o2zz+)

91 And no margin blowing.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian Who Lives In The Thawed Out Tundra at June 08, 2024 10:31 PM (QXQ4l)

The Gaystapo are not gonna like that.

Posted by: RickZ at June 08, 2024 10:35 PM (gKDq2)

92 Some people will do anything to get their hands on the Lego Millennium Falcon...

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at June 08, 2024 10:35 PM (6NgT4)

93 Bulgie, any scandals at the MoMee? You can whisper it into our collective ear.

Posted by: All Hail Eris at June 08, 2024 10:35 PM (FkUwd)

94 who hasn't put things in their butt and put them back on the shelf?

Asking for a friend.

Posted by: ghost of hallelujah at June 08, 2024 10:36 PM (sJHOI)

95 90 And no margin blowing.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian Who Lives In The Thawed Out Tundra at June 08, 2024 10:31 PM (QXQ4l)

Party pooper!
Posted by: Margins at June 08, 2024 10:34 PM (o2zz+)

Feel free on Thursday & Friday nights.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian Who Lives In The Thawed Out Tundra at June 08, 2024 10:36 PM (QXQ4l)

96 Party pooper!
Posted by: Margins

Not to worry, someone is always willing to blow the margins, permission or not.

Posted by: She Hobbit at June 08, 2024 10:36 PM (ftFVW)

97 Some people will do anything to get their hands on the Lego Millennium Falcon...
Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter

Mitchell Vest's rectum is ready.

Posted by: Taq, Rickrolled by Jesus at June 08, 2024 10:37 PM (iRX3h)

98 As part of his "community service" he should be required to lick them all clean.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at June 08, 2024 10:33 PM (D7OgD)

Why do I get the feeling it wouldn't be the first time he did that?

Posted by: OrangeEnt at June 08, 2024 10:37 PM (0eaVi)

99 Some people will do anything to get their hands on the Lego Millennium Falcon...
Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter

Legos, wanted, pricey. Perfect for the quick turnaround crowd.

Posted by: Some Rat at June 08, 2024 10:38 PM (vJiyU)

100 100!

Posted by: TRex at June 08, 2024 10:38 PM (IQ6Gq)

101 "Why Didn’t They Just Bomb the Beaches of Normandy Before Carrying Out the D-Day Landing?">Smart Military Blog material?"

Heavy bomber carpet bombing to support tactical ground operations was notoriously inaccurate. When it was on target it was devastating to German units not emplaced in reinforced concrete fortifications. The elite Panzer Lehr Division was ground into hamburger by an 8th Air Force carpet bombing raid at the beginning of Operation Cobra on July 25th, 1944.

Too frequently, however, tactical bombing by the heavies was off-target. Some of the bombers in the same attack that churned-up Panzer Lehr dropped on American forward positions. Killing Lt. General Lesley J. McNair, chief of Army Ground Forces. He wanted a good look at the expected breakthrough by the ground forces he created for WW2. He was the highest-ranking US Army soldier killed in WW2.

Posted by: Gref at June 08, 2024 10:38 PM (5fDan)

102 Legos, wanted, pricey. Perfect for the quick turnaround crowd.
Posted by: Some Rat

Ehem, it's LEGO.

Posted by: She Hobbit at June 08, 2024 10:40 PM (ftFVW)

103 I always say, give credit where it's due. The Left is phenomenally good at 2 things:

1. Sloganeering/Propaganda (that may be 2 things)
2. Destruction

But Building a society people want to live in?

...bit of a losing record, there

Posted by: ghost of hallelujah at June 08, 2024 10:40 PM (sJHOI)

104 93. Word is that the raffle was rigged in favor of Blaster and Doof.

I’m sure someone will be hearing from Village Idiot’s Apprentice’s legal counsel.

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at June 08, 2024 10:40 PM (v6JzV)

105 Battlefield prep would have also told the Germans where to expect the landings.

Posted by: Jack LaLanne at June 08, 2024 10:40 PM (RIvkX)

106 Apollo 8 Lunar Module pilot William 'Bill' Anders has passed away.

The 90 year old former astronaut was flying his T-34 Mentor and doing acrobatics. Details are very thin at the moment but from the video found online it seems Anders failed to pull out at the bottom of a loop and impacted the water.

Posted by: Anna Puma at June 08, 2024 10:40 PM (kNM9z)

107 That hotels.com commercial with the pregnant woman was stupid.

Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt at June 08, 2024 10:41 PM (ufFY8)

108 Glad I live in Tweeville, although our county does have gangs of highly organized thieves from South America targeting McMansions.

I do not live in a McMansion.

Posted by: All Hail Eris at June 08, 2024 10:41 PM (FkUwd)

109 More evidence of Israel's great crimes:

In an initial testimony documenting the killings committed by the Israeli army in the Nuseirat camp today, the @EuroMedHR
reported that the Israeli army used a ladder to enter the home of Dr. Ahmed Al-Jamal. The army immediately executed 36-year-old Fatima Al-Jamal upon encountering her on the staircase. The forces then stormed the house and executed her husband, journalist Abdullah Al-Jamal, 36, and his father, Dr. Ahmed, 74, in front of his grandchildren. The army also shot their daughter, Zainab, 27, who sustained serious injuries.

Yep - if you are holding an Israeli hostage in your house, you can expect bad things to happen to you.

Posted by: The ARC of History! at June 08, 2024 10:42 PM (uxCna)

110 Details are very thin at the moment but from the video found online it seems Anders failed to pull out at the bottom of a loop and impacted the water.
Posted by: Anna Puma at June 08, 2024 10:40 PM (kNM9z)

Ah yes. CFIT (Controlled Flight Into Terrain).

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at June 08, 2024 10:42 PM (6NgT4)

111 83 ARC

Yes, a godsend for both. Mom knows her daughter is alive and safe.

Posted by: mnw at June 08, 2024 10:42 PM (NLIak)

112 It's a shame we can't mount the skeleton of the previous porch pirate in a cage outside our house in order to deter the next porch pirate...

Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at June 08, 2024 10:07 PM (BpYfr)

There's a bit in the HBO series "Rome" that fits this desire:

https://youtu.be/T7cQk-QWb5Y

Posted by: Grumpy and Recalcitrant at June 08, 2024 10:42 PM (O7YUW)

113 Word is that the raffle was rigged in favor of Blaster and Doof.

I’m sure someone will be hearing from Village Idiot’s Apprentice’s legal counsel.
Posted by: Bulgaroctonus

Everyone knows that Doof is just that lucky. It's the pickleball and grannie panties.

Posted by: She Hobbit at June 08, 2024 10:42 PM (ftFVW)

114 /exercise guru sock off

Posted by: San Franpsycho at June 08, 2024 10:43 PM (RIvkX)

115 Seriously though, my dude was doing acrobatics at 90? The right stuff indeed. I hope to be half as spry at that...ah, who am I kidding, I'll probably never reach that age.

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at June 08, 2024 10:43 PM (6NgT4)

116 Hey, She Hobbit.

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at June 08, 2024 10:44 PM (v6JzV)

117 Three of the ships that provided fire support for the Normandy invasion still survive:

HMS Belfast which also participated in the sinking of Scharnhorst.

USS Texas.

USS Laffey[i/]

Posted by: Anna Puma at June 08, 2024 10:45 PM (kNM9z)

118 Yep - if you are holding an Israeli hostage in your house, you can expect bad things to happen to you.
Posted by: The ARC of History! at June 08, 2024 10:42 PM (uxCna)

They held a hostage?
Then fuck 'em.
They all deserved to be taken out.

Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt at June 08, 2024 10:45 PM (ufFY8)

119
Yep - if you are holding an Israeli hostage in your house, you can expect bad things to happen to you.
Posted by: The ARC of History! at June 08, 2024 10:42 PM (uxCna)

Play stupid games, win stupid and fatal prizes. Buh bye 3rd world barbarians.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian Who Lives In The Thawed Out Tundra at June 08, 2024 10:45 PM (QXQ4l)

120 RNCResearch
Biden, in France, claims he's a "student of French history"
Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks

In a simpler and less graphic time, mentioning you were interested in the French Culture in a personal ad was shorthand for indicating a fondness for oral sex. Perhaps that is what he meant, he does hail from that Era.

By the by, mentioning an interest in the Greek Culture, well draw your own conclusions.

Posted by: Jinx the Cat at June 08, 2024 10:46 PM (hg/F7)

121 Evenin’, All. The NoVa MoMe went off without a hitch.

Thank you, Bluebell and Weasel!
Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at June 08, 2024 10:33 PM (v6JzV)

Nobody goes to those anymore

Posted by: Doof at June 08, 2024 10:46 PM (4U7dE)

122 SQAWWK! Oh yeah you're soft and feathery! SQAAWK

Posted by: the parrot at June 08, 2024 10:46 PM (gKWVE)

123 Ehem, it's LEGO.
Posted by: She Hobbi

Duly noted, and I can't believe I didn't know that.

Posted by: Some Rat at June 08, 2024 10:46 PM (vJiyU)

124 Bill Anders had as part of his collection the T-34 and a P-51 Mustang.

Posted by: Anna Puma at June 08, 2024 10:47 PM (kNM9z)

125 >>> 104 93. Word is that the raffle was rigged in favor of Blaster and Doof.

I'm sure someone will be hearing from Village Idiot's Apprentice's legal counsel.
Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at June 08, 2024 10:40 PM (v6JzV)

So, which one of them got the Dream Date with Weasel???

Posted by: Helena Handbasket at June 08, 2024 10:47 PM (llON8)

126 Seriously though, my dude was doing acrobatics at 90? The right stuff indeed. I hope to be half as spry at that...ah, who am I kidding, I'll probably never reach that age.
Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at June 08, 2024 10:43 PM (6NgT4)

22 years until 90. The first 22 years of my life I was lucky to survive (my stupidity) and be alive. As for the next 22, I'll be lucky to survive (the current stupidity) and be alive.

Posted by: RickZ at June 08, 2024 10:47 PM (gKDq2)

127 Yep - if you are holding an Israeli hostage in your house, you can expect bad things to happen to you.
Posted by: The ARC of History!

I love a story with a happy ending.

Posted by: Some Rat at June 08, 2024 10:47 PM (vJiyU)

128 121 Doof, didn’t you promise us all a hug? Where was my hug?

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at June 08, 2024 10:47 PM (v6JzV)

129 Yo, Bulg! Have a good time out there? I'm a little allergic to NoVa, but try to make a point of visiting TX in October.

Posted by: She Hobbit at June 08, 2024 10:48 PM (ftFVW)

130 Word is that the raffle was rigged in favor of Blaster and Doof.

I’m sure someone will be hearing from Village Idiot’s Apprentice’s legal counsel.
Posted by: Bulgaroctonus

Everyone knows that Doof is just that lucky. It's the pickleball and grannie panties.
Posted by: She Hobbit at June 08, 2024 10:42 PM (ftFVW)

And bourbon. Do NOT forget about bourbon!

Posted by: Doof at June 08, 2024 10:48 PM (4U7dE)

131 GGE, missed seeing you today. You were mentioned several times.

Posted by: Jinx the Cat at June 08, 2024 10:48 PM (hg/F7)

132 The Arabs in Gaza have been playing stupid games since 1948, they still haven't learned.

Posted by: Anna Puma at June 08, 2024 10:48 PM (kNM9z)

133 They held a hostage?
Then fuck 'em.
They all deserved to be taken out.

Israel did - they killed every one of the "civilians" involved in guarding the hostages.

They were perhaps making a point.

Posted by: The ARC of History! at June 08, 2024 10:48 PM (uxCna)

134 >> 100 degrees in Las Cruces today.

Looking the climate normals, 100F seems pretty much normal.

Average daily high is 96F for June, and average monthly max high is 104F.

So nothing even the slightest big abnormal about that.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at June 08, 2024 10:48 PM (w6EFb)

135 Doof, didn’t you promise us all a hug? Where was my hug?
Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at June 08, 2024 10:47 PM (v6JzV)

Pretty sure you got a bro-hug. Right??

Posted by: Doof at June 08, 2024 10:49 PM (4U7dE)

136 >>>More evidence of Israel's great crimes:

In an initial testimony documenting the killings committed by the Israeli army in the Nuseirat camp today, the @EuroMedHR
reported that the Israeli army used a ladder to enter the home of Dr. Ahmed Al-Jamal. The army immediately executed 36-year-old Fatima Al-Jamal upon encountering her on the staircase. The forces then stormed the house and executed her husband, journalist Abdullah Al-Jamal, 36, and his father, Dr. Ahmed, 74, in front of his grandchildren. The army also shot their daughter, Zainab, 27, who sustained serious injuries.

How dare they!!! Ladders?!?!

Posted by: Dr. T at June 08, 2024 10:50 PM (jGGMD)

137 And bourbon. Do NOT forget about bourbon!
Posted by: Doof

Not forgotten! Some things you just save for private memories.

Posted by: She Hobbit at June 08, 2024 10:50 PM (ftFVW)

138 Looking the climate normals, 100F seems pretty much normal.

Average daily high is 96F for June, and average monthly max high is 104F.

So nothing even the slightest big abnormal about that.
Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley

When it goes their way, it's climate change.
When it goes our way, it's weather.

Posted by: Some Rat at June 08, 2024 10:50 PM (vJiyU)

139 How dare they!!! Ladders?!?!

Worse - the Israelis infiltrated the refugee camp in a humanitarian aid truck.

Worst war crime in history.

Posted by: The ARC of History! at June 08, 2024 10:51 PM (uxCna)

140 They named LEGOs "LEGO", because CALTROPS was already taken.

*pours bourbon* ONT Greetings, Horde. CHEERS!

Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim at June 08, 2024 10:51 PM (e6UQI)

141 As opposed to Hamas terrorists using Red Cresent ambulances?

Posted by: Anna Puma at June 08, 2024 10:52 PM (kNM9z)

142 And bourbon. Do NOT forget about bourbon!
Posted by: Doof

Not forgotten! Some things you just save for private memories.
Posted by: She Hobbit at June 08, 2024 10:50 PM (ftFVW)

Smart lady, you are

Posted by: Doof at June 08, 2024 10:52 PM (4U7dE)

143 Artists are seriously upset that their work is being taken by big companies to train AI models.

They're attempting to opt out of Instagram's new policy for taking their art, but the response they are getting back is, get this (paraphrasing)...

We could not find any models where your work is being used so we cannot take any further action for you at this time and have rejected your request to opt out.

Sound familiar? Basically it's the same excuse that was given to us/Trump. The votes haven't been taken yet so we can't review anything yet as there has been no harm. Then once the votes were taken, it was 'sorry the votes have been taken now and you have no right to object'.

What frightens me is that the skirting of the law they did for the fake election was no one-time occurrence. It's probably quite common for legal injustices across the spectrum.

Posted by: ... at June 08, 2024 10:52 PM (lX8VI)

144 129 She Hobbit, I would love to go to Corsicana, but I’m still looking for a job.

A stint on Doof’s security detail just doesn’t pay enough.

We shall see.

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at June 08, 2024 10:53 PM (v6JzV)

145 Was there a trampoline at the MoMee? It's not a true NoVaMoMe without a trampoline.

Posted by: All Hail Eris at June 08, 2024 10:53 PM (FkUwd)

146 Trampoline?

Zigga zakka, zigga zakka, oi oi oi!

Posted by: Anna Puma at June 08, 2024 10:54 PM (kNM9z)

147 Israel did - they killed every one of the "civilians" involved in guarding the hostages.

They were perhaps making a point.
Posted by: The ARC of History! at June 08, 2024 10:48 PM (uxCna)

Israel doesn't have the death penalty (except for real Nazis), so that's the only way to make the point clear that holding hostages for a tea and crumpets party is not going to fly.

The Palestinian definition of 'innocent civilian' turns the meaning of both of those words on their head.

Posted by: RickZ at June 08, 2024 10:54 PM (gKDq2)

148 GGE, missed seeing you today. You were mentioned several times.
Posted by: Jinx the Cat at June 08, 2024 10:48 PM (hg/F7)

All lies.

I do need to make it back up there though, it should be easy since my brother in law lives in Sterling. I think locking my car in the parking garage overnight soured Mrs Hades on the whole deal though. Maybe next year...

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at June 08, 2024 10:54 PM (6NgT4)

149 A stint on Doof’s security detail just doesn’t pay enough.

We shall see.
Posted by: Bulgaroctonus

And here I thought he was a big spender. Pfft.

Posted by: She Hobbit at June 08, 2024 10:54 PM (ftFVW)

150 Perhaps Gaza families will have second thoughts now about concealing helpless, civilian Israeli hostages in their homes?

The IDF made some mention earlier today, anonymously IIRC, that the people in the 2 houses had been paid by HAMAS for their services as hostage minders.

Personally? I'm reminded of Macbeth saying, "Your eyes drop millstones where fools' drop tears, eh?"

Tonight I'm afraid I'm in a 'millstones mood' where HAMAS helpers are concerned.

Posted by: mnw at June 08, 2024 10:55 PM (NLIak)

151 Almost time to see if the Powerball will roll over again.

Posted by: Anna Puma at June 08, 2024 10:55 PM (kNM9z)

152 135 No Bro-Hug

But I had the wife along. She may have discouraged you.

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at June 08, 2024 10:55 PM (v6JzV)

153
Photo of Anders getting hosed off by his son in 2008:
https://tinyurl.com/26gkqfy4

That was his last official mission with the Air Force, in a P-51 at some Arizona air base (some training for an air show). Tradition is a pilot gets sprayed with a fire hose after his final mission.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at June 08, 2024 10:57 PM (w6EFb)

154 In an initial testimony documenting the killings committed by the Israeli army in the Nuseirat camp today, the @EuroMedHR
reported that the Israeli army used a ladder to enter the home of Dr. Ahmed Al-Jamal. The army immediately executed 36-year-old Fatima Al-Jamal upon encountering her on the staircase. The forces then stormed the house and executed her husband, journalist Abdullah Al-Jamal, 36, and his father, Dr. Ahmed, 74, in front of his grandchildren. The army also shot their daughter, Zainab, 27, who sustained serious injuries.

Now don't be sad,
cause three outta four ain't bad.

Posted by: Count de Meatloaf at June 08, 2024 10:57 PM (6gW4D)

155 From the phone weather app: "Earth likely to exceed Paris Climate Agreement warming limit...."

Whooda thunked it? No way. Uh uh.

Posted by: Son of Dad at June 08, 2024 10:57 PM (8JB5s)

156 Sorry to drink and run, big day tomorrow doing yard work. Later roonz and roonettez, fear no evil!

Posted by: GGE of the Moron Horde, NC Chapter at June 08, 2024 10:57 PM (6NgT4)

157 I think in Gaza you would have a harder time finding a 'true civilian' above the age of 1 then finding ten just men in Sodom.

Posted by: Anna Puma at June 08, 2024 10:57 PM (kNM9z)

158 Signing off for the night. All weared out after mome festivities, hobby thread and a blistering start of the ONT. Thanks y'all!

Posted by: TRex at June 08, 2024 10:57 PM (IQ6Gq)

159 ‘Night, TRex.

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at June 08, 2024 10:59 PM (v6JzV)

160 22 years until 90. The first 22 years of my life I was lucky to survive (my stupidity) and be alive. As for the next 22, I'll be lucky to survive (the current stupidity) and be alive.
Posted by: RickZ at June 08, 2024 10:47 PM (gKDq2)

We are pulling for you, Mr. President of the SQ Fan Club
https://tinyurl.com/9avrj6yj

Posted by: Status Quo at June 08, 2024 11:00 PM (QXQ4l)

161 120
'In a simpler and less graphic time, mentioning you were interested in the French Culture in a personal ad was shorthand for indicating a fondness for oral sex.'

In Biden's case, it means he likes French fries.

Posted by: Dr. Claw at June 08, 2024 11:05 PM (roH4R)

162 Who is more responsible for the deaths in the houses where the hostages were imprisoned?

The IDF who did the killing?

Or HAMAS who placed the hostages there?

Posted by: mnw at June 08, 2024 11:06 PM (NLIak)

163 15 There is going to be one hell of a detour.

I checked Google Maps - to get from Driggs, Idaho (where a lot of Jackson's workforce lives) to Jackson, WY without Teton Pass takes 1 hours and 50 minutes without traffic.

Prepare yourself for all the articles explaining that this is the fault of gerbil warbeling.

Posted by: The ARC of History! at June 08, 2024 10:05 PM (uxCna)
----
Unchecked gopher population caused that - too many tunnels, like Gaza.

Posted by: Ciampino - Sat Update #04 at June 08, 2024 11:06 PM (qfLjt)

164 CNN criticized after saying Israeli hostages were 'released' by Hamas

https://mol.im/a/13509691

Bastards. Hot irons won't be enough.
Posted by: Ciampino

============

Released.
Released from their dead hands.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at June 08, 2024 11:06 PM (cOq4q)

165 We are pulling for you, Mr. President of the SQ Fan Club
https://tinyurl.com/9avrj6yj
Posted by: Status Quo at June 08, 2024 11:00 PM (QXQ4l)

My 'Presidential Ruffles and Flourishes' is '30 Days In The Hole'.

Posted by: RickZ at June 08, 2024 11:07 PM (gKDq2)

166 In Biden's case, it means he likes French fries.
Posted by: Dr. Claw at June 08, 2024 11:05 PM (roH4R)

Biden can only have French fry milkshakes now.

Posted by: RickZ at June 08, 2024 11:08 PM (gKDq2)

167 Bill Anders' father Lt. Arthur Anders took command of the US gunboat USS Panay after the ship's captain had been gravely wounded during the Japanese aerial attack. Lt. Anders had also been wounded but refused to relinquish command during the action.

For his actions during and after the attack, Lt Anders was awarded the Navy Cross.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w7bNBWmnDNw

Arthur Anders passed away in 2000 at the age of 96.

Posted by: Anna Puma at June 08, 2024 11:09 PM (kNM9z)

168 Thanks for the ONT, MisHum.
Looking for a Horde assist. Headed to a minor league game tomorrow afternoon. We know one of the coaches (young feller – early 20’s) and we are making signs to razz him a bit. Here’s what I’m working with and none are really moving the snark meter: So and So: Runs with scissors. Wears bunny slippers and crocs. Has Hanna Montana tickets. Brought a fruitcake to Christmas. Likes pineapple on pizza. Cries over spilt milk. Swallows bubble gum. Eats with his elbows on the table. Swims immediately after eating. I’m not looking to get kicked out and kind of enjoy the company of the kid. He however, does not lack hubris and fancies himself a bit of a Latin lover, lady’s man. Unleash the wit, if so inclined to assist with my nonsense.

Posted by: scampydog at June 08, 2024 11:09 PM (41CYW)

169 I'm sure they have vaccines to save the cicadas. And it will be heavily funded. I did work in Columbus, Ohio and they took us out of work to see a golf practice round.

Tons of cicadas that year. My only experience.

We actually have 'June Bugs' in our front doorway this year. It's been years since I've seen them.

Back to my movie 'It Follows'. Girl has sex, creature follows her, only way to get rid of creatuee is to have sex with someone else. There's childhood nerdy guy, first kiss, who I was convinced was going to get lucky. But hotter, action guy showed up.

Alright movie but not that scary. Few have been.

Fucking snowflakes.

Posted by: Stateless at June 08, 2024 11:11 PM (jvJvP)

170 17 Porch pirates suck.

Posted by: TRex at June 08, 2024 10:06 PM (IQ6Gq)
----
When caught they should be beaten and/or shot. Trouble is we live in a topsy-turvy society and we'd be the ones arrested and jailed. A case for backhoes?

There's the guy who booby-trapped them with glue+glitter bombs+stink bombs.

Posted by: Ciampino - Sat Update #06 at June 08, 2024 11:13 PM (qfLjt)

171 Just got back from walking the Hell Hound. I really want something for dessert, but dinner was smoked BBQ ribs and I'm still full. If there were apple pie or bread pudding (no raisins!) I could find room in my gut...

Posted by: PabloD at June 08, 2024 11:13 PM (wcpmT)

172 Last year someone dumped a broken vacuum cleaner over our fence, so I put it aside in the trash can shelter for future stripping for parts. Today I needed a power cord to wire a lamp, and I was wondering if there was a switch in it that I could use.
I ripped it apart and it appears the modern vacuums are mostly plastic with few metal parts. I freed the power cord for another project, and found a nifty single pole switch, and extracted the motor with the centrifugal fan for some future project.

the switch I think will repair an old box fan, and I have no idea what to do with the motor, other than add it to my firepit, or replace the noisy blower motor on the woodstove.

I also picked up an tankless water heater at the thrift shop. If it works (and it may not) it will be an addition to my outdoors canning kitchen. If it doesn't work, well I have another extra power cord I guess.

Posted by: Kindltot at June 08, 2024 11:13 PM (D7oie)

173 One Hamas spokesperson responded to today's successful rescue by stating, "We can get more hostages any time we want." Lovely.

Meanwhile, Biden & the rest of the world will go back to pressuring Israel to replace Netanyahu, and to accept a permanent ceasefire that leaves HAMAS in power.

As long as HAMAS remains in GAZA, no alternative govt is possible, because HAMAS would kill them.

In Lebanon, the UN put in a peacekeeping force-- which ended up being human shields for Hezbollah. The UN peacekeepers turned a blind eye to Hezbollah, because they didn't want to die.

Posted by: mnw at June 08, 2024 11:14 PM (NLIak)

174 That Teton landslide? Here's aerial views.

https://tinyurl.com/2mtttmbc

Posted by: Ciampino - Sat Update #07 at June 08, 2024 11:17 PM (qfLjt)

175 Ehem, it's LEGO.
Posted by: She Hobbit at June 08, 2024 10:40 PM (ftFVW)

"Danish Caltrops"

Posted by: Kindltot at June 08, 2024 11:17 PM (D7oie)

176 "Danish Caltrops"
Posted by: Kindltot

*Mine* are put away or in the build. The little hobbits' ... OUCH!

Posted by: She Hobbit at June 08, 2024 11:19 PM (ftFVW)

177 174 That Teton landslide? Here's aerial views.

https://tinyurl.com/2mtttmbc
Posted by: Ciampino - Sat Update #07 at June 08, 2024 11:17 PM (qfLjt)

Teton 'Land'Slide? or... what eventually happens to old womenz...

Posted by: Romeo13 at June 08, 2024 11:21 PM (xaFKb)

178 168 Thanks for the ONT, MisHum.
Looking for a Horde assist. Headed to a minor league game tomorrow afternoon. We know one of the coaches (young feller – early 20’s) and we are making signs to razz him a bit. Here’s what I’m working with and none are really moving the snark meter: So and So: Runs with scissors. Wears bunny slippers and crocs. Has Hanna Montana tickets. Brought a fruitcake to Christmas. Likes pineapple on pizza. Cries over spilt milk. Swallows bubble gum. Eats with his elbows on the table. Swims immediately after eating. I’m not looking to get kicked out and kind of enjoy the company of the kid. He however, does not lack hubris and fancies himself a bit of a Latin lover, lady’s man. Unleash the wit, if so inclined to assist with my nonsense.
Posted by: scampydog at June 08, 2024 11:09 PM (41CYW)

"Congratulations on your parole! Remember, no closer than 200 yards to any sheep farm"

"... doesn't wash his hands on his way out of the restroom"

"... kisses his mama with that mouth"

Probably too risqué for what you're looking for, though.

Posted by: Schnorflepuppy at June 08, 2024 11:23 PM (v23vE)

179 Just got home from taking myself out to dinner

Had a beer and a Siracha glazed cod with veggies and jasmine rice.

On the beach. Sunset in another hour.

Smooches y'all.

Posted by: nurse ratched at June 08, 2024 11:24 PM (U5tre)

180 Funny how we can airdrop supplies, hell even build a Pier to help Muzzies...

But no word at all from the Feds about helping our own citizens about the Teton Pass stuff.

Posted by: Romeo13 at June 08, 2024 11:24 PM (xaFKb)

181 The Teton Land Slide was rivaled only by FJB's "Land Slide" at the D Day Ceremonies.

Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim at June 08, 2024 11:24 PM (e6UQI)

182 Hiya, Nurse!

Posted by: PabloD at June 08, 2024 11:26 PM (wcpmT)

183
But no word at all from the Feds about helping our own citizens about the Teton Pass stuff.
Posted by: Romeo13

Are women and minorities hardest hit?

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at June 08, 2024 11:26 PM (63Dwl)

184 "Congratulations on your parole! Remember, no closer than 200 yards to any sheep farm"

That gets my vote. And have someone else carry a PETA sign.

Posted by: RickZ at June 08, 2024 11:26 PM (gKDq2)

185 Thank you for the ONT MisHum.

I will be brief.

Trump 2024 or the death of the Republic.

Hobo's United...

Posted by: Nightwatch at June 08, 2024 11:26 PM (TDvv2)

186 When it goes their way, it's climate change.
When it goes our way, it's weather.
Posted by: Some Rat

Does it ever "go our way?"

Too hot: climate change
Too cold: climate change
Temperature about average? Go to step 2.

Too dry: climate change
Too wet: climate change

Precipitation about average? Go to step 3.
Too many storms: climate change
.....

Posted by: mikeski at June 08, 2024 11:27 PM (DgGvY)

187 Had a beer and a Siracha glazed cod with veggies and jasmine rice.

On the beach. Sunset in another hour.

Smooches y'all.
Posted by: nurse ratched

That sounds quite nice. Hope sunset loves up to expectations.

Posted by: She Hobbit at June 08, 2024 11:27 PM (ftFVW)

188 That sounds quite nice. Hope sunset loves up to expectations.
Posted by: She Hobbit at June 08, 2024 11:27 PM (ftFVW)

$20, same as in town.

Posted by: RickZ at June 08, 2024 11:29 PM (gKDq2)

189 "Congratulations on your parole! Remember, no closer than 200 yards to any sheep farm"

"... doesn't wash his hands on his way out of the restroom"

"... kisses his mama with that mouth"

Probably too risqué for what you're looking for, though.
Posted by: Schnorflepuppy
------------
All are great. Love the parole one. Scampywife liked it also. Thank you. Also, and unrelated, 13 year old dog is having a hyper fit like she is a puppy.

Posted by: scampydog at June 08, 2024 11:31 PM (41CYW)

190
Hell, didn't realize it, but Seattle gets about 16 hours of daylight around the solstice... Sunset after 9PM LDT now. I thought that sounded pretty late for sunset, but nope, that's about right... :-)

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at June 08, 2024 11:31 PM (w6EFb)

191 All are great. Love the parole one. Scampywife liked it also. Thank you. Also, and unrelated, 13 year old dog is having a hyper fit like she is a puppy.
Posted by: scampydog at June 08, 2024 11:31 PM (41CYW)

There are no coincidences, fellow canine!

Posted by: Schnorflepuppy at June 08, 2024 11:32 PM (v23vE)

192 .....

Really? Everything is average this year?

Then talk about the effects of a long term trend.

"Because we haven't had a sustained week of -28F for three years, the Northern Minnesota Toadstool Weevil population is up. Where will the toads sit when all the toadstools are eaten??!?!"

It's like sports stats. "This is the first time a right-handed middle reliever, whose jersey number is prime, has thrown exactly two strikes for every ball through three innings during a new moon. And now, a word from some electric car maker."

Posted by: mikeski at June 08, 2024 11:33 PM (DgGvY)

193 180 Funny how we can airdrop supplies, hell even build a Pier to help Muzzies...

But no word at all from the Feds about helping our own citizens about the Teton Pass stuff.
Posted by: Romeo13 at

Maui has entered the chat.

Posted by: nurse ratched at June 08, 2024 11:34 PM (U5tre)

194 Hiya PabloD!

Missed you last weekend.

Posted by: nurse ratched at June 08, 2024 11:35 PM (U5tre)

195 And thank you MusHum for the ONT

Saturday night home is a keeper.

Posted by: nurse ratched at June 08, 2024 11:36 PM (U5tre)

196 Funny how we can airdrop supplies, hell even build a Pier to help Muzzies...

But no word at all from the Feds about helping our own citizens about the Teton Pass stuff.
Posted by: Romeo13

Our "pier" slid into the ocean. I don't want to drive a truck up the temporary road they use to bypass the landslide.

Posted by: mikeski at June 08, 2024 11:36 PM (DgGvY)

197 Records of Pompeii's survivors have been found—archaeologists are starting to understand how they rebuilt their lives

https://tinyurl.com/56zkycap

Posted by: Ciampino - Sat Update #08 at June 08, 2024 11:37 PM (qfLjt)

198 Maui has entered the chat.

If they only had blue rooftops

Posted by: Unknown Drip Under Pressure at June 08, 2024 11:37 PM (KwHva)

199 The Saturday Night Joke

Worst Drinking Game ever?

Watch Biden.

Every time he blinks, take a shot.

Posted by: Miklos is entirely sober at June 08, 2024 11:37 PM (wWqRd)

200 Publius,

It's light outside well after 10pm.

Posted by: nurse ratched at June 08, 2024 11:37 PM (U5tre)

201 Every time he blinks, take a shot.
Posted by: Miklos
------------
My liver just gave the side eye.

Posted by: scampydog at June 08, 2024 11:39 PM (41CYW)

202 >> It's light outside well after 10pm.

I was just looking (timeanddate.come) at the civil and nautical twilight times around now.

Hell, you only get about 2 hours of astronomical night now (defined as sun 18 degrees or more below the horizon).

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at June 08, 2024 11:40 PM (w6EFb)

203 You have to be at Normandy to see how high above the beaches, on a bluff, guns were and how far out the landing craft were at low tide. A couple of destroyers did come in close and provide effective direct fire.

Posted by: javems at June 08, 2024 11:40 PM (8I4hW)

204 Publius,

It's light outside well after 10pm.
Posted by: nurse ratched

Publius lights up outside well after 10 PM

Posted by: Miklos so Testifies at June 08, 2024 11:42 PM (wWqRd)

205 My liver just gave the side eye.
Posted by: scampydog

The Black Eye Biden never blinks

Posted by: Miklos reassures your liver at June 08, 2024 11:43 PM (wWqRd)

206 Mom didn't know she was pregnant .....
https://tinyurl.com/57dzdahs

Posted by: Ciampino - Sat Update #09 at June 08, 2024 11:43 PM (qfLjt)

207 It’s pride month so someone(s) is going to bang a cicada and that cicada-pox will make the leap to humans. Liebe = Liebe

Posted by: Herr Wilhelm Doc Johnson at June 08, 2024 11:45 PM (9DHlV)

208 Massive pro-Palestine protest at White House descends into chaos as smoke bombs go off and attendees claim they've been MACED

https://mol.im/a/13509269

Posted by: Ciampino - Sat Update #10 at June 08, 2024 11:45 PM (qfLjt)

209 I'd like to boot some antiques myself, but prefer bronzes. They are quite heavy. I'll have to do some exercises first.

Posted by: Filthy Frank at June 08, 2024 11:46 PM (V5BDR)

210 Mom didn't know she was pregnant .....
https://tinyurl.com/57dzdahs
Posted by: Ciampino

"What her Daddy don't know, is what her Pappa don't mind"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJrxhHUzB_c

Posted by: Zydeco Mikleuse Chavis at June 08, 2024 11:46 PM (wWqRd)

211 Mom didn't know she was pregnant .....
https://tinyurl.com/57dzdahs
Posted by: Ciampino

* points up at the ONT content *

Posted by: mikeski at June 08, 2024 11:48 PM (DgGvY)

212 Wealthy DC elites spark boom in poverty-stricken state - while priced-out locals are forced to live in their cars amid a growing backlash

https://mol.im/a/13503219

Maybe move?

Posted by: Ciampino - Sat Update #11 at June 08, 2024 11:49 PM (qfLjt)

213 Massive pro-Palestine protest at White House descends into chaos as smoke bombs go off and attendees claim they've been MACED
Posted by: Ciampino

I hope it's true!

We're talking about the medieval kind, right?

Posted by: mikeski at June 08, 2024 11:49 PM (DgGvY)

214 The Black Eye Biden never blinks
Posted by: Miklos reassures your liver
----------------
Once again, Mik, on point. Those beady black eyes Gotta Feelin'. Dead eyes.

Posted by: scampydog at June 08, 2024 11:50 PM (41CYW)

215 Mom didn't know she was pregnant ...

I have missed ALL my periods.

Does this mean something?

Posted by: Trans Miklosina at June 08, 2024 11:50 PM (wWqRd)

216 Not for the squeamish?
Woman is eaten alive by giant python - in Indonesia

https://mol.im/a/13508489

Waiting for Florida's pythons to get hungry.

Posted by: Ciampino - Sat Update #12 at June 08, 2024 11:53 PM (qfLjt)

217 I have missed ALL my periods.

Does this mean something?
Posted by: Trans Miklosina
------------
Only in Pride Month.

Posted by: scampydog ain't no rainbow warrior at June 08, 2024 11:54 PM (41CYW)

218 Pride Month?

Funny how many civic centers are deferring flying the flag this time around.

Maybe...not so ABOUT YOU this time around?

MAYBE, YOU ALL NEED TO GET ANOTHER HOBBY besides having sex in the wrong hole?

Just saying...

Posted by: Nightwatch at June 08, 2024 11:54 PM (TDvv2)

219 I have missed ALL my periods.
Does this mean something?
Posted by: Trans Miklosina

Or, time to visit the doc to see what has been bleeding for the last nine months.

Posted by: mikeski at June 08, 2024 11:55 PM (DgGvY)

220 Don't know about you peoples, but I am listening to Clifton Chenier, which is about as Saddy Nite as it gets.

Posted by: Le Mikleuse, roulez-ing Le Bon Temps at June 08, 2024 11:55 PM (wWqRd)

221 ...I have missed ALL my periods.

Does this mean something?
Posted by: Trans Miklosina at June 08, 2024 11:50 PM (wWqRd)

Um.... you failed at "punctuation" all through Grammar School?

*runs serpentine!*

Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim at June 08, 2024 11:57 PM (e6UQI)

222 A man cannot be a beauty queen.
Beauty queen Bailey Anne Kennedy claps back at trolls after becoming first trans woman to be crowned Miss Maryland USA

https://mol.im/a/13507017

Posted by: Ciampino - never expected this in a lifetime at June 08, 2024 11:57 PM (qfLjt)

223 First time offender, yes…but oh, what a time!

Posted by: He kilt it at June 08, 2024 11:58 PM (9DHlV)

224 I ran across a thread on reddit on the high cost of fast food and before I even read it I knew what the answers would be...

1) There is no inflation, prices are completely normal
2) There is no inflation, all the companies got greedy at the same time
3) Obviously this inflation and obviously its Trump's fault

I got a bonus answer though I hadn't expected:

4) Its got for you that you can't afford to eat out. Eating out is bad for da Erf

Posted by: 18-1 at June 08, 2024 11:59 PM (ibTVg)

225 Um.... you failed at "punctuation" all through Grammar School?

*runs serpentine!*

Jim
Sunk New Dawn

Sahib-

I am not a dot head

Posted by: Miklos from the Bombay Telemarketing and Scam Centre of Most Excellence at June 08, 2024 11:59 PM (wWqRd)

226
What is this "clap back" talk?

I'm thinking Jonathan Winters vs. Ethel Merman's crazy son on Mad, Mad, Mad World. He was talking this beatnik, hipster, beach bum lingo, I forget, and JOnathan Winters says, "What is this baby/bug stuff?"

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at June 09, 2024 12:01 AM (w6EFb)

227 I ran across a thread on reddit on the high cost of fast food and before I even read it I knew what the answers would be...
1) There is no inflation, prices are completely normal
2) There is no inflation, all the companies got greedy at the same time
3) Obviously this inflation and obviously its Trump's fault
I got a bonus answer though I hadn't expected:
4) Its got for you that you can't afford to eat out. Eating out is bad for da Erf
Posted by: 18-1

No "Fast food is unhealthy so this is a Good Thing?"

Posted by: mikeski at June 09, 2024 12:02 AM (DgGvY)

228 No "Fast food is unhealthy so this is a Good Thing?"

Healthy at any weight h8er!

Posted by: 18-1 at June 09, 2024 12:03 AM (ibTVg)

229 BREAKING

Employment is great, inflation is low, and Leon is getting SMALLER

Posted by: Johnny from the Bureau of Economic Analysis at June 09, 2024 12:03 AM (wWqRd)

230 People are trying to criticize Israel for executing the SS prison guards at Treblinka.

Posted by: Tom Servo at June 09, 2024 12:04 AM (q3gwH)

231 Not sure whether Ace or the cobs have covered this recently and I just missed it, but it looks like the latest plot by the bastards running things is bankrupting western farmers using "questionable" water rights restrictions, to conveniently take their land. Just a smattering:

Oregon https://tinyurl.com/3rzj2vyx
Idaho https://tinyurl.com/mr25tvp5
Colorado https://tinyurl.com/2aqynalt

Posted by: Drink Like Vikings at June 09, 2024 12:04 AM (kD7tI)

232

I paid $37.02 at Subway today for 2 footlong sandwiches, two bags of chips and two medium drinks.... Never again, never again...

Posted by: Elderly Git at June 09, 2024 12:04 AM (1oFdy)

233 Beauty queen Bailey Anne Kennedy claps back at trolls after becoming first trans woman to be crowned Miss Maryland USA
Posted by: Ciampino

I now know the sound of one fag clapping. On to the next koan.

"If a tree falls in the forest, and no one is there, was it caused by climate change?"

Posted by: mikeski at June 09, 2024 12:04 AM (DgGvY)

234 As has been said many times, however much you hate the cocksuckers in charge, it is not enough.

Posted by: Drink Like Vikings at June 09, 2024 12:05 AM (kD7tI)

235 I paid $37.02 at Subway today for 2 footlong sandwiches, two bags of chips and two medium drinks.... Never again, never again...

Guess no more $5/foot longs

Posted by: 18-1 at June 09, 2024 12:06 AM (ibTVg)

236 As has been said many times, however much you hate the cocksuckers in charge, it is not enough.
Posted by: Drink Like Vikings

*drinks to that*

Posted by: Thirsty Miklos at June 09, 2024 12:06 AM (wWqRd)

237 I am not a dot head
Posted by: Miklos from the Bombay Telemarketing and Scam Centre of Most Excellence at June 08, 2024 11:59 PM (wWqRd)
---------------
Period vs dot punctuation you clever, clever.

Posted by: No math vs No Grammar at June 09, 2024 12:07 AM (41CYW)

238 Period vs dot punctuation you clever, clever.
Posted by: No math vs No Grammar

I am pleasing for assist with this issue.

Posted by: this issue has been escalated to Manager Level at June 09, 2024 12:10 AM (wWqRd)

239 Waiting for Florida's pythons to get hungry.
Posted by: Ciampino

I had a dream that when President Goldenhair is re-elected, again, and assumes his rightful role as 2nd term President and Score-Settler-in-Chief, deep-staters on the lam will be on the menu.

Posted by: Drink Like Vikings at June 09, 2024 12:11 AM (kD7tI)

240 Guess no more $5/foot longs
Posted by: 18-1

That is in the Infrastructure Bill

Posted by: Pete Buttgig at June 09, 2024 12:11 AM (wWqRd)

241 There are a number of "science news" sites that I dropped from my list because of their incessant global warming / CO2 emergency reporting.

what is the appropriate level of Co2. and how do you justify that?

Posted by: Kindltot at June 09, 2024 12:12 AM (D7oie)

242 There are a number of "science news" sites that I dropped from my list because of their incessant global warming / CO2 emergency reporting.

what is the appropriate level of Co2. and how do you justify that?
Posted by: Kindltot

*farts in their general direction*

Posted by: Miklos with outrageous French accent at June 09, 2024 12:13 AM (wWqRd)

243 Guess no more $5/foot longs
Posted by: 18-1

Didn't Jared have a coupon for unlimited foot-longs for 15 years?

Posted by: Drink Like Vikings at June 09, 2024 12:14 AM (kD7tI)

244 There are a few here who will post a question without terminating it with a question mark. For some reason that irritates me slightly. Guess I'm an old-school, get off of my lawn git.

Posted by: Notorious BFD at June 09, 2024 12:15 AM (mH6SG)

245
I hope it's true!

We're talking about the medieval kind, right?
Posted by: mikeski

A guy just got killed by a medieval mace on Kolchak.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at June 09, 2024 12:16 AM (63Dwl)

246 The Biden Admin working a previous OBAMA Admin dictum which ply's to destroy any and all Family Farms across the lower 48 states is a REAL DOCTRINE!!

CONTROL YOUR FOOD BY STATE RUN FARMS.

Why do you think that POS Bill Gates has been buying up so many Thousand's of acre's over the last 10 years??

Posted by: Nightwatch at June 09, 2024 12:17 AM (TDvv2)

247 There are a few here who will post a question without terminating it with a question mark. For some reason that irritates me slightly. Guess I'm an old-school, get off of my lawn git.
Posted by: Notorious BFD

¿Que?

Posted by: El Miklosero at June 09, 2024 12:18 AM (wWqRd)

248 Why do you think that POS Bill Gates has been buying up so many Thousand's of acre's over the last 10 years??
Posted by: Nightwatch

Yep. And some investing commentators happily chirp that he's just doing it as an inflation hedge, nothing to be concerned about.

Posted by: Drink Like Vikings at June 09, 2024 12:22 AM (vK6WC)

249 Random brain with 2 hours of windshield time went to Pride Month and Roller Derby team names. Then I remembered the Raquel Welch, Kansas City Bomber thing and got distracted.

Posted by: scampydog at June 09, 2024 12:23 AM (41CYW)

250 A laser weapon sight can make anyone into a dot-head.

The Red Dot is traditional, of course.

Don't know what curse the Green Dot holds, other than the 55 gr. pill at 3,000 fps?

Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim at June 09, 2024 12:26 AM (e6UQI)

251
If the peasants are still growing their own food, how they hell can you force them to eat ze bugz?

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at June 09, 2024 12:26 AM (w6EFb)

252 Jim
Sunk New Dawn

Ha!

Posted by: Miklos has steel plates in his head because at June 09, 2024 12:28 AM (wWqRd)

253 If the peasants are still growing their own food, how they hell can you force them to eat ze bugz?
Posted by: publius, Rascally

Ze bugz eat ze peasants, silly

Posted by: Miklos from Davos at June 09, 2024 12:29 AM (wWqRd)

254 Massive pro-Palestine protest at White House descends into chaos as smoke bombs go off and attendees claim they've been MACED
Posted by: Ciampino
---
If anything, CS.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at June 09, 2024 12:31 AM (XeU6L)

255 TY MisHum for a fine ONT. Really enjoyed the Who clips, reminded me of my freshman yr in collidge.

I've got a question for the Horde as I've seen no one address this. Who is paying for Dr Jill to fly back and forth to France so she can attend her stepson's trial? Certainly Hunter's trial and her need to [strike]intimidate jurors[/strike]support the sad sack she helped raise is a family matter and we shouldn't pay for it at taxpayers expense.

Posted by: Farmer at June 09, 2024 12:32 AM (55Qr6)

256 There are 3 type of Indians: Feather, push start (dot), pull start (turbaned).
--
There are 2 types of common screwdrivers: Plus and Minus
(Jerry Pournelle in an article in Byte Magazine, 1980s).

Posted by: Ciampino - never expected the Spanish Inquisition at June 09, 2024 12:35 AM (qfLjt)

257 155 From the phone weather app: "Earth likely to exceed Paris Climate Agreement warming limit...."

----

Fuck you, Paris.

Posted by: The Earth at June 09, 2024 12:35 AM (ZS0HN)

258

I have sublimated your ardvaark. I apologize. No

Posted by: My Pimp Shot My Dealer at June 09, 2024 12:36 AM (8nNFF)

259 The peasants will not be allowed to grow their own food.

Ne comprends-tu pas?

Posted by: Nightwatch at June 09, 2024 12:36 AM (TDvv2)

260 There are 2 types of common screwdrivers: Plus and Minus
(Jerry Pournelle in an article in Byte Magazine, 1980s).
Posted by: Ciampino

"Plus driver" and "minus driver" are what they call them in Japan.

Posted by: mikeski at June 09, 2024 12:36 AM (DgGvY)

261 There are 2 types of common screwdrivers: Plus and Minus
(Jerry Pournelle in an article in Byte Magazine, 1980s).
Posted by: Ciampino
-------------
Always wondered where the plus sign minus sign originated. Now I can credit it when using that line. Thanks.

Posted by: scampydog at June 09, 2024 12:36 AM (41CYW)

262 publius, That was one of hub's favorite movies. The son was Sylvester. I can still hear Ethel Merman yelling his name. That must have been a fun movie set to be on.

Posted by: Debby Doberman Schultz at June 09, 2024 12:37 AM (Sgq8y)

263 I've got a question for the Horde as I've seen no one address this. Who is paying for Dr Jill to fly back and forth to France so she can attend her stepson's trial? Certainly Hunter's trial and her need to [strike]intimidate jurors[/strike]support the sad sack she helped raise is a family matter and we shouldn't pay for it at taxpayers expense.
Posted by: Farmer at June 09, 2024 12:32 AM (55Qr6)

The U.S. taxpayer does. Politics is a little grift here and a little graft there. Pretty soon you're talking being worth tens of millions of dollars with multiple LLCs and bank accounts in various family members' names.

Don't forget Obama had Chicago pizza flown to The White House on the taxpayer dime.

Posted by: RickZ at June 09, 2024 12:38 AM (gKDq2)

264 >> hear Ethel Merman

The joke was, Ethel Merman, playing the mother-in-law from hell, didn't have to act. She just had to be herself. :-)

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at June 09, 2024 12:38 AM (w6EFb)

265 Woof.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at June 09, 2024 12:40 AM (5rrjF)

266 This simple mixture of vodka and orange juice reportedly gets its name from the original tool used to stir the drink — a screwdriver. You'll get equally good results using a spoon. This screwdriver is an easy but refreshing cocktail recipe made by combining orange juice and vodka over ice.

Posted by: Nightwatch at June 09, 2024 12:40 AM (TDvv2)

267
Ethel Merman tries to call Sylvester (Dick Shawn):

https://tinyurl.com/23olhytp

Bonus points for identifying the chick there.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at June 09, 2024 12:41 AM (w6EFb)

268 Unleash the wit, if so inclined to assist with my nonsense.
Posted by: scampydog

You've already had a host of good suggestions, but if you want to go with a tried and true burn, there's always:

His mother was a hyena and his father was an insurance salesman.

Re-purposed from the description of Barbara Streisand in the South Park episode "Mecha-Streisand."

Posted by: John Drake Is In Sight Of The Caspian Sea at June 09, 2024 12:41 AM (u/Zei)

269 235 I paid $37.02 at Subway today for 2 footlong sandwiches, two bags of chips and two medium drinks.... Never again, never again...

Guess no more $5/foot longs
Posted by: 18-1 at June 09, 2024 12:0

What the crap? I'm in Canada. House renovations. Footlong subs are at most $12...Canadian.

Man, America is circling the drain quick...

Posted by: Stateless at June 09, 2024 12:44 AM (jvJvP)

270 If Trump would play Ethel Merman at some of his rallies, that would be cool.

Posted by: Miklos so thinks at June 09, 2024 12:45 AM (wWqRd)

271 Streisand is still alive?

Mind bending

Posted by: Nightwatch at June 09, 2024 12:45 AM (TDvv2)

272
Ethel Merman on Airplane!:
https://tinyurl.com/qean8do

The internet says this was her last film appearance.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at June 09, 2024 12:47 AM (w6EFb)

273 261 There are 2 types of common screwdrivers: Plus and Minus
(Jerry Pournelle in an article in Byte Magazine, 1980s).
Posted by: Ciampino
-------------
Always wondered where the plus sign minus sign originated. Now I can credit it when using that line. Thanks.

Posted by: scampydog at June 09, 2024 12:36 AM (41CYW)
----
Jerry got it from a tech who he knew/worked with.

Posted by: Ciampino - never expected the Spanish Inquisition? at June 09, 2024 12:48 AM (qfLjt)

274 235 I paid $37.02 at Subway today for 2 footlong sandwiches, two bags of chips and two medium drinks.... Never again, never again...

Guess no more $5/foot longs
Posted by: 18-1
--------------
$11.85 for the McDogfoods 2 cheeseburger, fry, and soda meal yesterday. And it tasted like sh*t. Reminder that one really isn't that damned hungry.

Posted by: scampydog no likey at June 09, 2024 12:48 AM (41CYW)

275 If Trump would play Ethel Merman at some of his rallies, that would be cool.
Posted by: Miklos

Or maybe I was thinking of Kate Smith

Posted by: Miklos so thinks, maybe at June 09, 2024 12:48 AM (wWqRd)

276 Scampydog.

You can look up the insults strewn about by the game show hostess Jane Lynch, from "The Weakest Link".

They're indexed on online on multiple sites. Such as:

"... He stares at the Frozen Orange Juice container, because it says Concentrate."

And many, many more.

Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim at June 09, 2024 12:48 AM (e6UQI)

277 Well then...Screw the driver...Effin TOOLS!!!

Posted by: Nightwatch at June 09, 2024 12:50 AM (TDvv2)

278 He stares at the Frozen Orange Juice container, because it says Concentrate."

And many, many more.
Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX
Posted by: Jim
--------------
That one got an audible laugh out of me, Jim. Dog looked up (why you waking me up). Will hit the google machine. Thanks Jim, SND.

Posted by: scampydog no likey at June 09, 2024 12:51 AM (41CYW)

279 Streisand is still alive?

Mind bending
Posted by: Nightwatch

Yep, she's a spry 82-year-old.

Fun Streisand fact: during the filming of "The Way We Were," her co-star Robert Redford wore layers of clothing below his waist in an effort to keep her from groping him.

Posted by: John Drake Is In Sight Of The Caspian Sea at June 09, 2024 12:51 AM (u/Zei)

280 276

I'll "Knee Slap" that and take a tug on the Scotch...

Posted by: Nightwatch at June 09, 2024 12:53 AM (TDvv2)

281 ...That one got an audible laugh out of me, Jim. Dog looked up (why you waking me up). Will hit the google machine. Thanks Jim, SND. Posted by: scampydog no likey at June 09, 2024 12:51 AM (41CYW)

This is why we have Horde.

Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim at June 09, 2024 12:53 AM (e6UQI)

282 He stares at the Frozen Orange Juice container, because it says Concentrate."

And many, many more.
Jim

let...me...out

Posted by: Orange Julius at June 09, 2024 12:57 AM (wWqRd)

283
There's a story I'm trying to remember about Ethel Merman. She went to a dinner party hosted by some actress, who didn't approve of salty language, and had a swear jar. If anyone said anything she didn't approve of, they had to put some money in that jar.

Ethel said something, and she came over with the swear jar. Ethel said, "Tell me honey, how much is it gonna cost me to tell you to go fuck yourself?"

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at June 09, 2024 12:58 AM (w6EFb)

284 The Mexican health secretary DENIES the claim by the WHO that a man died from new strain of bird flu.

https://tinyurl.com/rf5f6vm9

I believe the Mexicans.

Posted by: Ciampino - WHO is a liar? at June 09, 2024 12:58 AM (qfLjt)

285 28 I was never The Who. I was Beatles and Zeppelin

I still like the Who up til Tommy when they were basically a hard pop band that was very tongue in cheek. After that they got way more sophisticated and popular but it just doesn't resonate for me.

Posted by: Azjaeger at June 09, 2024 01:01 AM (3/XaG)

286 Well thank you all for a fine evening's riposte..

Blessings to the horde.

Nightwatch out.

Posted by: Nightwatch at June 09, 2024 01:02 AM (TDvv2)

287 The concentrate joke is also in the Blonde Jokes Compendium. I don't know who was first.

Posted by: Ciampino - WHO is on First at June 09, 2024 01:02 AM (qfLjt)

288 "... He stares at the Frozen Orange Juice container, because it says Concentrate."

Seth MacFarlane stole that one for his upcoming animated re-boot of "Good Times." Shows up in the trailer.

A re-boot, by the way, that is clearly a race-swapped version of "Family Guy." Which MacFarlane had done before with "The Cleveland Show." Now his "American Dad" series was ... actually just a higher-income Wasp family with the exact same types of characters.

MacFarlane made some fairly good movies, and his live-action series "The Orville" is commendable, but the guy is a one-trick pony when it comes to the animated format.

Posted by: John Drake Is In Sight Of The Caspian Sea at June 09, 2024 01:03 AM (u/Zei)

289 If Trump would play Ethel Merman at some of his rallies, that would be cool.

I really don't want to see him in a dress, singing, and I don't think he's gonna get any more wokie votes doing it anyway

Posted by: Azjaeger at June 09, 2024 01:05 AM (3/XaG)

290 Thanks for all the feedback on the sign jokes for the game tomorrow, witty Hordelings.

Posted by: scampydog at June 09, 2024 01:05 AM (41CYW)

291 The teachers union in Portland, Oregon, has created a curriculum that teaches kindergarteners that "Jewish people" are "settler-colonial" oppressors, prepares them to attend "protests," and celebrates Palestinian "martyrs."

https://tinyurl.com/56mvv6ys

Posted by: Ciampino - WHO is on First! at June 09, 2024 01:06 AM (qfLjt)

292 ...MacFarlane made some fairly good movies, and his live-action series "The Orville" is commendable, but the guy is a one-trick pony when it comes to the animated format. Posted by: John Drake Is In Sight Of The Caspian Sea at June 09, 2024 01:03 AM (u/Zei)

The plots and approaches might be mundane, and much alike.

But, jeez. Has there ever been an artist who can voice the characters half as well as MacFarlane, who is at best, half as good as Mel Blanc?

The VOICINGS are the sell in those 'toons, even more than the plots or the actions.

Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim at June 09, 2024 01:07 AM (e6UQI)

293 Migrants in Tunisia ask for safe passage to Europe amid increasing anti-migration policies

https://tinyurl.com/5x5tcuc3

Shouldn't these be called Invaders?

Posted by: Ciampino - WHO is on First!? at June 09, 2024 01:09 AM (qfLjt)

294 The teachers union in Portland, Oregon, has created a curriculum that teaches kindergarteners that "Jewish people" are "settler-colonial" oppressors, prepares them to attend "protests," and celebrates Palestinian "martyrs."

https://tinyurl.com/56mvv6ys
Posted by: Ciampino
---------
Ran a curriculum rewrite some years back (PM'd it). Online courses. 184 Ek - 12 and AP courses. Over 1300 authors on the project. Fired 56% of them. It was a fistfight every day to keep things neutral. In retrospect I should have bent things another direction. But I was young and believed that others were altruistic. Which they were not. And they were plagiarizers. And lazy.

Posted by: scampydog at June 09, 2024 01:12 AM (41CYW)

295 But, jeez. Has there ever been an artist who can voice the characters half as well as MacFarlane, who is at best, half as good as Mel Blanc?

The VOICINGS are the sell in those 'toons, even more than the plots or the actions.

Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX
Posted by: Jim

Totally agree - he is astounding in his voice work, and his celebrity impressions are amazing. I actually feel a little sorry for the guy, because I've never seen any talk-show appearance where he wasn't required by the host to offer up his signature voices and impressions. (My personal favorite is his rendition of Kermit the Frog as the Liam Neeson character in the movie "Taken.") Guy is also an awesome singer - he released an album of Sinatra covers that sold pretty well and garnered a lot of critical praise.

Posted by: John Drake Is In Sight Of The Caspian Sea at June 09, 2024 01:15 AM (u/Zei)

296 Mel Blanc?

The VOICINGS are the sell in those 'toons, even more than the plots or the actions.

Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX
Posted by: Jim
-----------
Good call, Jim. Mel Blanc....treasure.

Posted by: scampydog at June 09, 2024 01:16 AM (41CYW)

297 Evening.

Watched Lethal Weapon 4 tonight thus completing my rewatch of the entire film series. It's great. It's goofy as hell in a lot of ways but it's so goddamn fun it's wonderful.

Posted by: Robert at June 09, 2024 01:16 AM (1Yy3c)

298
I've been watching some old Jack Benny reruns. Mel Blanc was one of the players there with Jack.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at June 09, 2024 01:17 AM (w6EFb)

299 Arby's here in Canada actually has 2 really good fish sandwiches for $7 Canadian. And they give the dog a pup treat of meat.

And they know our dog, Tim's does too. He howls when we order. He gets extra free treats.They call him by name.

Oh, and sweet, hot girl is at Tim's tomorrow. Really pretty. Tall, slim, nice tiny breasts. And a cute little sidekick. Hard to flirt through a drive thru...but they know us.

I'm in Canada. I need things like this to keep me going...

Posted by: Stateless at June 09, 2024 01:18 AM (jvJvP)

300 Lethal Weapon
Posted by: Robert
---------------
Like the series. Love No 3 because Rene Russo. Because Rene Russo. Did I mention Rene Russo?

Posted by: scampydog kinda has the hots for Rene at June 09, 2024 01:21 AM (41CYW)

301 I've been watching some old Jack Benny reruns. Mel Blanc was one of the players there with Jack.
Posted by: publius, Rascally

Mel Blanc was as good in person as recorded.

Told some good Jewish jokes too

Posted by: Miklos personally testifies at June 09, 2024 01:37 AM (wWqRd)

302 Sipping on a Heinie here, very poor planning in regards to scotch.

I almost typed scoth, I would have had to signed in as Thindy Bwady.

Posted by: Debby Doberman Schultz at June 09, 2024 01:37 AM (Sgq8y)

303 Democrat Senator Bob Casey celebrates in taxpayer dollars going to LGBT center that provides children sex-change services and has hosted events on 'bigger d*** energy'

https://mol.im/a/13506027

Posted by: Ciampino - Queer, all of them Ds at June 09, 2024 01:37 AM (qfLjt)

304 I'm in Canada. I need things like this to keep me going...

Posted by: Stateless
_____________
Funky Johns and Kokanee. Best Canada. Trail, BC...

Posted by: scampydog kinda has the hots for Rene at June 09, 2024 01:38 AM (41CYW)

305 I took Pepcid and am waiting for the acid reflux to die down. Supposedly, the more heartburn you have, the more hair the baby will have. Well, Lil Pooky is going to come out with hair past his waist at this rate!

Posted by: pookysgirl is going to need a barber in the delivery room at June 09, 2024 01:41 AM (dtlDP)

306 Well, getting late here. Time for me to call it a night. Later, Horde.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at June 09, 2024 01:42 AM (Hm+HN)

307 G'night, AOP.

Posted by: scampydog kinda has the hots for Rene at June 09, 2024 01:43 AM (41CYW)

308 Trying to watch Planet Earth 3 because we like seeing the various animals of God's wonder - and the propaganda and brainwashing is a joke.

My favorite bit so far was in the "Coasts" episode. They spend 3 straight minutes showing water pouring off a glacier in the arctic, and talking incessantly about the melting... the melting and the melting... without mentioning that this happens every year.

Then at the end of the animal footage for that part, they breeze RIGHT past the refreezing by making a cryptic short-sentence reference to it, then shooting quickly straight into the next segment. They said something like the animals "have to move quickly before the water transforms" (fade out).

Transforms into what, shitbirds? Oh yeah... ICE. No melodramatic crackling and freezing sounds. No lengthy lecture about sea ice buildup. I swear there is nothing the Left won't lie or deceive about.

Posted by: ... at June 09, 2024 01:44 AM (lX8VI)

309
Well, I found it: Mel Blanc plays Jack Benny's violin teacher. He suffered a nervous breakdown when he heard Jack playing. He couldn't cope with one of his students playing so terribly:
https://tinyurl.com/29ezcsgn

At then end, to snap him out of it, Jack actually plays the violin straight, and cautions don't tell anybody I can play well. He'd made a lot of money playing it badly.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at June 09, 2024 01:50 AM (w6EFb)

310 talking incessantly about the melting... the melting and the melting.
Posted by: ... at June 09, 2024 01:44 AM (lX8VI)
======
It is fluid, this melting. Like genders, hater.

Posted by: Purple Hair at June 09, 2024 01:51 AM (41CYW)

311 Don't forget Obama had Chicago pizza flown to The White House on the taxpayer dime.
Posted by: RickZ at June 09, 2024 12:38

I remember that Rick. How do people who rise to such powerful positions just lose sight of what is reasonable, normal behavior?

Understand to a certain degree, they live weird insulated protected lives. One of the best things about Trump is that he was used to it. And he wasn't going to screw us over, he has his own plane for personal stuff. He even didn't take his salary.

Posted by: Farmer at June 09, 2024 01:52 AM (55Qr6)

312
You can find several clips where Jack played the violin straight. A few of them, if you look.

Was Jack a virtuoso? Nope. Was he "really good". Probably not. But he wasn't bad. Wasn't bad at all.

Jack Benny was one of the greatest comedians of all time. They all say (you know, the real ones before the modern era) that Jack had the best timing ever. Bob Hope eulogized him on that, saying your timing was usually impeccable, but this time you stunk on ice. You left way too soon.

He had a schtick. Jack was a tightwad extraordinaire. Jack was vain. Jack was really, really old. And Jack played the violin god-awful, but thought he was good.

It never got old.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at June 09, 2024 01:54 AM (w6EFb)

313 The Borscht Belt Warriors of Comedy were perhaps the best Stand Ups that ever rose behind the mic.

They had to earn their livings, one lounge's worth of audience at a time.

No broadcasts, no podcasts.

They either KILLED, or GOT killed.

Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim at June 09, 2024 02:03 AM (e6UQI)

314 Power washed for six hours today and played golf thereafter. Power washing showed much better results.

Posted by: scampydog at June 09, 2024 02:03 AM (41CYW)

315 They either KILLED, or GOT killed.
Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX
Posted by: Jim
=======
Vegas. Back in the day. Ultimate opportunity to win. Or face plant.

Posted by: scampydog at June 09, 2024 02:06 AM (41CYW)

316 Hey Bers, are you out there? Or Mrs. B, did you attend the NoVa MoMe? I know that you go there often. If you did, I hope that you had a great time, if you did not, I just hope that all is well with you.

Posted by: Debby Doberman Schultz at June 09, 2024 02:08 AM (Sgq8y)

317

Jack Benny and Mel Blanc on Johnny Carson:
https://tinyurl.com/2xtl884z

They do the "Si, Sy, Sue" bit there.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at June 09, 2024 02:09 AM (w6EFb)

318 I almost typed scoth, I would have had to signed in as Thindy Bwady.
Posted by: Debby Doberman Schultz

All forgiven

Posted by: Miklos McMiklos, of the Auld and Ancient Clan McMiklos at June 09, 2024 02:14 AM (wWqRd)

319 Mikklos, I just assumed that Darleen was getting off work soon, and you had disappeared. I am glad that you are here.

Posted by: Debby Doberman Schultz at June 09, 2024 02:19 AM (Sgq8y)

320 Jack Benny was one of the greatest comedians of all time. They all say (you know, the real ones before the modern era) that Jack had the best timing ever.
Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley

Best illustration of that is that one Jack Benny joke everybody remembers, but no one besides him was ever able to pull off as well:

Armed Mugger: Your money or your life!!!

Jack Benny: (dead silence)

Armed Mugger: Well, what's it gonna be?

Jack Benny: I'm thinking about it!

On the exact perfect beat, and delivered with the perfect reading - exasperated, and really wondering what the best option would be.

Posted by: John Drake Is In Sight Of The Caspian Sea at June 09, 2024 02:20 AM (u/Zei)

321
True Story: Jack and George Burns were good buds. George delighted in cracking Jack up at the most inappropriate times.

They're at some shin-dig show in London. They perform before Her Majesty the Queen (good ol' QE II). Afterwards, they do a meet an greet with Lizzy. As she's coming down the line, George whispers to Jack, "Jack, whatever you do, don't laugh when the Queen speaks to you. That would be really bad."

Queen gets to Jack (and say this in Carol Burnett's high-pitched Queen voice): "Oh, Mr. Benny, I so enjoyed your performance".

Jack, "Well, thank you, Your... hah. Hah-hah. Hah-hah-hah-hah-hah....."

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at June 09, 2024 02:22 AM (w6EFb)

322 Posted by: Debby Doberman Schultz

Darleen is working the Bass masters' tournament, and I don't care if she never comes back.

Posted by: Miklos, Marleen, and Charleen agree at June 09, 2024 02:27 AM (wWqRd)

323
One skit with Jack. Some hot blonde shows up at his house one night. Tells him she has car trouble, and tells him he looks like Rock Hudson. He gets stupid. Anyway, she's just bait and they kidnap it to rob him. Find he has a safe in his shoe. They crack it. He has an unredeemed bus ticket inside.

They make him go the bank and withdraw money. When he asks to withdraw money, everyone's jaw drops to the floor.

The cops then save him. The bank manager called them, because if Jack was withdrawing money, you know something was wrong.

Jack gets his money back, and goes back to the bank to redeposit. He finds the bank has closed, gone out of business. When word got out he was pulling money out, it caused a run on that bank....

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at June 09, 2024 02:32 AM (w6EFb)

324 publius, that is such a great story. I am off to bed, Horde, I have had more than one Heinie here and I believe it shows, Good night, you guys, you remain the best.

Posted by: Debby Doberman Schultz at June 09, 2024 02:38 AM (Sgq8y)

325 Hiya everyone

Posted by: Skip at June 09, 2024 02:39 AM (fwDg9)

326
In that skit, Jack goes up to the bank teller. She says, "Hi, Mr. Benny. Here to make a deposit, or are you just visiting?"

He says he wants to make a withdrawal. Her jaw drops. Silence descends......

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at June 09, 2024 02:41 AM (w6EFb)

327 He'd made a lot of money playing it badly.
Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley

A lot of people make big money doing things badly.

Posted by: Dr. Big Tony Fauci at June 09, 2024 02:44 AM (wWqRd)

328 Hiya everyone
Posted by: Skip

Blueberries are on the counter

Do not disturb

Posted by: Auntie Miklos and "Uncle" LaQuavious at June 09, 2024 02:54 AM (wWqRd)

329 Eddie Anderson, the actor who played the character Rochester opposite Jack Benny in films and on radio and television, was a savvy businessman and he and Benny together did quite a lot to improve race relations during the Jim Crow era.

Anderson also pulled off a running gag in Hollywood for nearly two decades. When it was popular for tour buses to take drives past the homes of noted stars, Anderson found out when and what days they would drive past Jack Benny's home. It was always in the morning, and Anderson made sure he was sitting on the front steps of the mansion drinking freshly-delivered milk. It was a genius bit of promotion for both men's careers.

Posted by: John Drake Is In Sight Of The Caspian Sea at June 09, 2024 02:56 AM (u/Zei)

330
Carol Burnett doing the high-pitched Queen bit:
https://tinyurl.com/22qsm9u3

That's Maggie Smith as the floozy.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at June 09, 2024 02:56 AM (w6EFb)

331 Carol Burnett doing the high-pitched Queen bit:
https://tinyurl.com/22qsm9u3

That's Maggie Smith as the floozy.
Posted by: publius, Rascally

Bring it on, bitch

https://www.craiyon.com/image/7k78feqsSKW6DosCiZUfZA

Posted by: Miklos notes that QE II did full rifle training during WWII at June 09, 2024 03:02 AM (wWqRd)

332 222 A man cannot be a beauty queen.
Beauty queen Bailey Anne Kennedy claps back at trolls after becoming first trans woman to be crowned Miss Maryland USA

https://mol.im/a/13507017
Posted by: Ciampino - never expected this in a lifetime at June 08, 2024 11:57 PM (qfLjt)

You will be arrested for that.

Posted by: Catch Thirty-Thr33 at June 09, 2024 03:03 AM (9lTdR)

333 274 235 I paid $37.02 at Subway today for 2 footlong sandwiches, two bags of chips and two medium drinks.... Never again, never again...

Guess no more $5/foot longs
Posted by: 18-1
--------------
$11.85 for the McDogfoods 2 cheeseburger, fry, and soda meal yesterday. And it tasted like sh*t. Reminder that one really isn't that damned hungry.
Posted by: scampydog no likey at June 09, 2024 12:48 AM (41CYW)

When your President ends inflation by decree like I did you will all be better off. You’ll see.

Posted by: Robert Mugabe at June 09, 2024 03:06 AM (9lTdR)

334 A man cannot be a beauty queen.

Si se puede!

Posted by: Miklos will ask for a paper crown from Dairy Queen at June 09, 2024 03:23 AM (wWqRd)

335 As far as the Beauty Queen who's "transgender", I think it's possibly not healthy to have so many surgical procedures to try to make yourself a woman when you obviously aren't one.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at June 09, 2024 03:28 AM (JKSXl)

336 I am bored.

Amuse away, s'il vous plait

Posted by: Miklos requests, kindly and modestly at June 09, 2024 03:34 AM (wWqRd)

337 As far as the Beauty Queen who's "transgender", I think it's possibly not healthy to have so many surgical procedures to try to make yourself a woman when you obviously aren't one.
Posted by: FenelonSpoke

I have made mistakes.

This is not one.

Posted by: Miklos and The Family Jewels, a soul group from the 70s at June 09, 2024 03:36 AM (wWqRd)

338 As far as the Beauty Queen who's "transgender", I think it's possibly not healthy to have so many surgical procedures to try to make yourself a woman when you obviously aren't one.
Posted by: FenelonSpoke
------
I have made mistakes.

This is not one.
Posted by: Miklos and The Family Jewels, a soul group from the 70s at June 09, 2024 03:36 AM

That's not what the frat boys of I Tappa Keg say.

Posted by: RickZ at June 09, 2024 03:44 AM (gKDq2)

339 Seniors on an outing surprised by stranger's kindness:

https://tinyurl.com/5yv7c2ey

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at June 09, 2024 03:48 AM (XkYcA)

340 That's not what the frat boys of I Tappa Keg say.
Posted by: RickZ

They would say that

Posted by: My Delta name is Miklos (Tri-Delt id Tiffani) at June 09, 2024 03:55 AM (wWqRd)

341
Eddie Anderson played a cabbie in Mad, Mad, Mad Mad World.

Peter Falk was the other cabbie.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at June 09, 2024 03:55 AM (w6EFb)

342
Eddie Anderson and Peter Falk in front of the Big W:
https://tinyurl.com/254s43tf

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at June 09, 2024 03:57 AM (w6EFb)

343 Seniors on an outing surprised by stranger's kindness:

https://tinyurl.com/5yv7c2ey

Posted by: FenelonSpoke

I have done similar

Now see?

We can have nice things

If you actually do them

Posted by: Miklos is very pleased at June 09, 2024 03:58 AM (wWqRd)

344
Sid Caeser and his wife tried to break out of hardware store after getting locked at lunchtime, in their to buy shovels. They try to bust out. They have a time. Sid even uses dynamite. They blow a hole in the wall, leading to an adjacent Chinese laundry.

They come out to the street with a shovel. They need a cab. Peter Falk is there. He looks at Sid, who is a mess, covered in yellow paint. He asks, "What happened to you. Was you in some kind of initiation?"

Sid says, "I had an accident and I fell into yellow!".

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at June 09, 2024 04:00 AM (w6EFb)

345 Pixy's up!

Posted by: m at June 09, 2024 04:00 AM (NHMTR)

346 Sid says, "I had an accident and I fell into yellow!".
Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley

OBJECCTION!!!!

Posted by: Counsel for R. Hunter Biden at June 09, 2024 04:02 AM (wWqRd)

347
Sid Caesar, in dealing with the burglar alarm trying to break out of the hardware store, nearly electrocuting himself, "The stupidest burglar in the world could walk in here and get away with everything, and we can't even break out!"

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at June 09, 2024 04:09 AM (w6EFb)

348 335 As far as the Beauty Queen who's "transgender", I think it's possibly not healthy to have so many surgical procedures to try to make yourself a woman when you obviously aren't one.
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at June 09, 2024 03:28 AM (JKSXl)

Someone else who will be arrested.

Posted by: Catch Thirty-Thr33 at June 09, 2024 04:56 AM (9lTdR)

349 Perhaps I should implement new rules.
1st 100 comments no food or boobs.
And no margin blowing.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian Who Lives In The Thawed Out Tundra at June 08, 2024 10:31 PM (QXQ4l)

Oh, man.

Posted by: The margins at June 09, 2024 09:05 AM (iODuv)

350 I paid $37.02 at Subway today for 2 footlong sandwiches, two bags of chips and two medium drinks.... Never again, never again...

Guess no more $5/foot longs
Posted by: 18-1
--------------
$11.85 for the McDogfoods 2 cheeseburger, fry, and soda meal yesterday. And it tasted like sh*t. Reminder that one really isn't that damned hungry.
Posted by: scampydog no likey at June 09, 2024 12:48 AM (41CYW)

Keep that 20 dollar minimum wage going, baby!!

Posted by: Minimum wage worker making a career at McDonalds at June 09, 2024 09:08 AM (iODuv)

351 "The two species have been found with the viral STD, called Massospora cicadina, in southern parts of Illinois.
Brood XIII cicadas are mostly in Illinois, Iowa, and Wisconsin, while Brood XIX is found south and east from there."

------
Time, April 19, 2024 -
That's right, cicadas, like many insects, have been hailed as an eco-friendly and high-protein alternative to poultry and cattle. 😳

Posted by: L - If they do it with you, they'll do it to you, too at June 09, 2024 10:24 AM (NFX2v)

352 I think this is one of the most vital information for me.

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Posted by: Gas Control Replacement at June 13, 2024 08:17 AM (jRtHP)

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