The Only Thing We Have To Fear Is The ONT Itself

Welcome to Friday night. Someone sent me this meme, so I guess I better use it.

Fido Friday: Help!

pic.twitter.com/bwKmuy7FKP
— ONT WTF (@OntWtf) April 12, 2024

Bidenomics

Saving the planet

Glitter? Everyone knows you need a black onyx to cast resurrection

pic.twitter.com/zWD0UlXNSr
— ONT WTF (@OntWtf) April 12, 2024

Eclipse community notes

How to ride a motorcycle

Terrifying

Audio is fake, but the clip? Holy crap! That'll make some poo come out. pic.twitter.com/W2E4qtcnw0
— ONT WTF (@OntWtf) April 12, 2024

Y'know, this is a hell of an idea. Dunno if it would do much good if the child is stopped by a busybody Karen, but I like it

Nice Hitler

Cool design

pic.twitter.com/2LWkotFXoZ
— ONT WTF (@OntWtf) April 12, 2024

Next time someone tells you inflation is all in your mind

Hey, that's a good excuse

Love the relationship between this kid and his mom

pic.twitter.com/1BqDjEmfUH
— ONT WTF (@OntWtf) April 12, 2024

Which to use...

Filling out forms

Meme cards

pic.twitter.com/TFBvjJvPTO
— ONT WTF (@OntWtf) April 12, 2024

Religious scholars

Pound that shit out

Evolution of a meme

pic.twitter.com/yPYB1rIvcY
— ONT WTF (@OntWtf) April 12, 2024

Apparently, this Argentinian beer company paid to have their product inserted into a Star Wars film for TV broadcast. Once this came to light, memers have been having a field day inserting cerveza Crystal into everything from movie clips to video games.

The Ok. Wildlife Department has a great Twitter feed

Tonight's ONT has been brought to you by sparkling water:

pic.twitter.com/Dwlmi5UuFE
— ONT WTF (@OntWtf) April 12, 2024

Posted by: WeirdDave at 10:00 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Goal line, goal line
I right, 70 Chip
on 2

Posted by: Don Black at April 12, 2024 10:03 PM (oCjPU)

2 YES!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar (hOUT3) ~ This year in Corsicana - again! ~ at April 12, 2024 10:03 PM (hOUT3)

3 Good evening WD!

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at April 12, 2024 10:03 PM (mDo0T)

4 1st!

Posted by: Admiral Spinebender at April 12, 2024 10:03 PM (duT0u)

5 I was starting to worry for a minute...

Posted by: lin-duh at April 12, 2024 10:03 PM (PZo5T)

6 ONT!

Posted by: vmom stabby stabby stabby stabby stabamillion at April 12, 2024 10:03 PM (q2svT)

7 Curses foiled again!

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at April 12, 2024 10:03 PM (mDo0T)

8 Stoopid internets. Coulda been first, but nooooooooooo. Gotta be crashing and core dumping and stuff.

Posted by: BifBewalski at April 12, 2024 10:03 PM (BZ9sk)

9 Welcome, one and all!

Posted by: stu-mick-o-sucks at April 12, 2024 10:03 PM (DsA2n)

10 Hey, WD.

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at April 12, 2024 10:03 PM (9yWhg)

11 Well, to be fair, it has been that kind of day!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar (hOUT3) ~ This year in Corsicana - again! ~ at April 12, 2024 10:03 PM (hOUT3)

12 Good evening horde. Have a good ONT. Thanks WD.

Posted by: TRex at April 12, 2024 10:04 PM (IQ6Gq)

13 Sorry I'm late, Eddie lost the cruiser.

Posted by: tankdemon at April 12, 2024 10:04 PM (EY2fK)

14 I've done a shitload of fingerprint cards over the years.
Damn! I wish I had thought of that.

Posted by: Diogenes at April 12, 2024 10:05 PM (W/lyH)

15 in between

Posted by: Jules - Update #267 at April 12, 2024 10:05 PM (qfLjt)

16 Oh that Ayoka thing is too sad

Posted by: vmom stabby stabby stabby stabby stabamillion at April 12, 2024 10:06 PM (q2svT)

17 Yo horde, go Wild...gasp, choke

Posted by: Zeera the ungoverened at April 12, 2024 10:09 PM (5XN0j)

18 Good evening everyone.

Posted by: Tonypete at April 12, 2024 10:09 PM (WXNFJ)

19 One does have to wonder... is every dick unique?

Posted by: Martini Farmer at April 12, 2024 10:11 PM (Q4IgG)

20 Hey, Tonypete!

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at April 12, 2024 10:11 PM (9yWhg)

21 Evenin'

again.

Posted by: Puddleglum at work at April 12, 2024 10:14 PM (S8cdb)

22 One does have to wonder... is every dick unique?
Posted by: Martini Farmer

Sounds like a question you'll have to ask the Sec of Trans.

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at April 12, 2024 10:15 PM (mDo0T)

23 19 Well, Dick York and Dick Sargeant were certainly different.

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at April 12, 2024 10:15 PM (9yWhg)

24 Statistics leave absolutely no doubt that Big Cream of Mushroom Soup has got to be stopped.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at April 12, 2024 10:16 PM (bo7UB)

25 22 One does have to wonder... is every dick unique?
Posted by: Martini Farmer

Sounds like a question you'll have to ask the Sec of Trans.
Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at April 12, 2024 10:15 PM (mDo0T)

Kamala might have some expertise.

Posted by: tankdemon at April 12, 2024 10:16 PM (EY2fK)

26 Love the relationship between this kid and his mom

That was great. Thanks for the ONT, WD.

Posted by: Notorious BFD at April 12, 2024 10:17 PM (V8he0)

27 aaaaaaaaaaand it's a dick thread

c ya

Posted by: Don Black at April 12, 2024 10:17 PM (oCjPU)

28 Had a feeling... Yikes.

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at April 12, 2024 10:18 PM (mDo0T)

29 Trombone kid and his mom is just the best.

Posted by: free tibet with purchase of equal or greater value tibet at April 12, 2024 10:18 PM (iNp3L)

30 23 19 Well, Dick York and Dick Sargeant were certainly different.
Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at April 12, 2024 10:15 PM (9yWhg)

Yet still interchangeable.

Posted by: tankdemon at April 12, 2024 10:18 PM (EY2fK)

31 Hey B!

Posted by: Tonypete at April 12, 2024 10:18 PM (WXNFJ)

32 Evening.

Posted by: Robert at April 12, 2024 10:18 PM (7ecUn)

33 Shadow Chasing For 40 Years

Posted by: Catch Thirty-Thr33 at April 12, 2024 10:18 PM (9isyS)

34 Weird Dave, of all your ONTs, I think this is the one that's going to get you in trouble.

And I mean *real* *trouble*.

'Cause I don't know how you'll ever top this one, amigo.

*pours bourbon* ONT Greetings, Horde. CHEERS!

Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim at April 12, 2024 10:19 PM (e6UQI)

35 I saw Festive Dog open for System Of A Down at Gazzari's in '82.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at April 12, 2024 10:19 PM (bo7UB)

36 aaaaaaaaaaand it's a dick thread

c ya
Posted by: Don Black

Well in our defense we had a meme.

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at April 12, 2024 10:19 PM (mDo0T)

37 Hi! Hi!

Tootels horn.

Hope everyone had an enjoyable Friday.

Posted by: Piper at April 12, 2024 10:20 PM (ZdaMQ)

38 I've always had the opinion that midgets dislike trombones. Now there is video proof. Thanks for that.

Posted by: Slip Slidin' Away at April 12, 2024 10:21 PM (V5BDR)

39 30 23 19 Well, Dick York and Dick Sargeant were certainly different.
Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at April 12, 2024 10:15 PM (9yWhg)

Yet still interchangeable.
Posted by: tankdemon at April 12, 2024 10:18 PM (EY2fK)

-----------

Hottie Elizabeth Montgomery never seemed to notice the difference. A Dick is a Dick, amiright?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at April 12, 2024 10:21 PM (bo7UB)

40 Hey, Piper.

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at April 12, 2024 10:21 PM (9yWhg)

41 No, it’s an elephant thread!

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=3qqE_WmagjY

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at April 12, 2024 10:22 PM (VNX3d)

42 I've always had the opinion that midgets dislike trombones. Now there is video proof. Thanks for that.
Posted by: Slip Slidin

Son was pretty good on the trombone.
Certainly looked like that mom might have regretted letting take lessons, she still seemed a little short with him.

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at April 12, 2024 10:23 PM (mDo0T)

43 39 Mmmmm…Elizabeth Montgomery…mmmmmmm…

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at April 12, 2024 10:23 PM (9yWhg)

44 I enjoy WD's ONTs, but I only understand about half of the memes.

Posted by: chris+opher at April 12, 2024 10:23 PM (dSco/)

45 Sad thing is, Dick Sargent later hooked up with Robert Reed. Cousin Oliver was the bastard offspring of that cursed union.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at April 12, 2024 10:24 PM (bo7UB)

46 King Harv looking good, but a Viking with glasses???

Posted by: Diogenes at April 12, 2024 10:25 PM (W/lyH)

47 Fuck it. Takeoff. Don't worry about that approaching aircraft.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory, red heifer owner at April 12, 2024 10:25 PM (R4t5M)

48 Today's crime rate is back to what it was in 1963?

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at April 12, 2024 10:26 PM (63Dwl)

49 41 No, it’s an elephant thread!
Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at April 12, 2024 10:22 PM (VNX3d)

Watching Carol trying to keep her composure is just as funny as Tim's story and delivery.

Posted by: tankdemon at April 12, 2024 10:26 PM (EY2fK)

50 44 I enjoy WD's ONTs, but I only understand about half of the memes.
Posted by: chris+opher at April 12, 2024 10:23 PM

---------------------

Which half?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at April 12, 2024 10:27 PM (bo7UB)

51 I noticed the sneaked in Penguin, Weird Dave. 😂

Posted by: Piper at April 12, 2024 10:27 PM (ZdaMQ)

52 Today's crime rate is back to what it was in 1963?
Posted by: Bertram Cabot

Blue hellholes and biden's imports excluded.

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at April 12, 2024 10:27 PM (mDo0T)

53 It is said that The Brady Bunch was knocked off the air by Fred and Lamont. It's true, but Cousin Oliver had a big part in it, too.

Posted by: TV Hall of Fame at April 12, 2024 10:27 PM (V5BDR)

54 King Harv’s gotta have a good look at his enemies.

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at April 12, 2024 10:27 PM (9yWhg)

55 re "firsthand," a local park, named for John Motley Morehead (1796-1866, "Father of Modern North Carolina') has a sign at the entrance reading "More Head Park."

Posted by: Philip at April 12, 2024 10:28 PM (46Cfy)

56 Sounds like a question you'll have to ask the Sec of Trans.
Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at April 12, 2024 10:15 PM (mDo0T)

Kamala might have some expertise.
Posted by: tankdemon at April 12, 2024 10:16 PM (EY2fK)

she would say they're like Baskin Robbins, and she's tasted all 31 flavors.

Posted by: Tom Servo at April 12, 2024 10:28 PM (q3gwH)

57 Fuck it. Takeoff. Don't worry about that approaching aircraft.
Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory, red heifer owner at April 12, 2024 10:25 PM (R4t5M)

Word!

Posted by: Tenerife Airport Air Traffic Control at April 12, 2024 10:28 PM (rANUe)

58 those Honda guidelines remind me of Do Not Taunt Happy Fun Ball.

Posted by: Tom Servo at April 12, 2024 10:30 PM (q3gwH)

59 Fuck it. Takeoff. Don't worry about that approaching aircraft.
Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory, red heifer owner at April 12, 2024 10:25 PM (R4t5M)

Just a daily workout routine for the Piper Cub Trotters.

Posted by: RickZ at April 12, 2024 10:30 PM (emlEe)

60 55 re "firsthand," a local park, named for John Motley Morehead (1796-1866, "Father of Modern North Carolina') has a sign at the entrance reading "More Head Park."
Posted by: Philip at April 12, 2024 10:28 PM (46Cfy)

---------

Don't read too much into the name.

Posted by: Agnes Moorehead at April 12, 2024 10:30 PM (bo7UB)

61 So the pipe was used for ground?

Posted by: banana Dream at April 12, 2024 10:31 PM (yN/eL)

62 Helluva ONT, WD. Thanks.

Posted by: scampydog at April 12, 2024 10:31 PM (lsXdC)

63 You know, there's good ONTs and then there's tonight's ONT.

By which, I mean to say, dis shit da bomb.

Well done weirdo.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 12, 2024 10:32 PM (3aLWR)

64 No bacon on Bidenomics chart.

Posted by: scampydog at April 12, 2024 10:33 PM (41CYW)

65 Pre-Covid, I would frequently buy a hand-made pizza at the local yuppie supermarket.

It was quite good, and was fifteen bucks.

The supermarket stopped selling pizzas during Covid, and my family's taste in take-out changed, so it wasn't until today that I bought one of the supermarket's pizzas again.

It was quite good, and was twenty-one bucks.

Keep telling me that inflation is at 3%, Biden.

Posted by: The ARC of History! at April 12, 2024 10:33 PM (YAtuc)

66 I'd probably end up pinching my hands in that folding table eight different ways every time I get it out but wouldn't replace it because I'd hate to pay for a new one.

Posted by: banana Dream at April 12, 2024 10:35 PM (yN/eL)

67 Speaking of supermarkets and food:
EVER EATEN A spider? The golden orb-weaving spider (Nephila edulis) has a plump abdomen that, after baking, tastes remarkably like pâté. _Australian Geographic

Posted by: Braenyard at April 12, 2024 10:36 PM (MnnLX)

68 You're sitting there, thinking, I don't remember my first hand job.

But then you realize...

Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 12, 2024 10:36 PM (3aLWR)

69 Which half?
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at April 12, 2024 10:27 PM (bo7UB)

------------

The upper right half.

Posted by: chris+opher at April 12, 2024 10:38 PM (dSco/)

70 >>> Speaking of supermarkets and food:
EVER EATEN A spider? The golden orb-weaving spider (Nephila edulis) has a plump abdomen that, after baking, tastes remarkably like pâté. _Australian Geographic
Posted by: Braenyard at April 12, 2024 10:36 PM (MnnLX)

You notice how they never advertise pate as tasting like spider guts?

Posted by: banana Dream at April 12, 2024 10:38 PM (yN/eL)

71 Oy Vey !!!

Posted by: Adriane the Oy Vey Critic. . . at April 12, 2024 10:38 PM (4Winp)

72 Where are the thousand asteroids raining down on us, annihilating the so called "sapiens" species. You know, that species that pretended to be "smart."

Should the cockroaches supplant us, I should hope they will learn one thing from our failed experience. That lesson should be, when one says "Well, to be fair--" that one should be culled. Culled publicly, so that the lesson takes hold.

Yeah, happy Friday everyone.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at April 12, 2024 10:39 PM (CHHv1)

73 There's a grass strip airport nearby. Mostly tail draggers. A couple houses on the sides of the strip have large garages for small airplanes.

Some of the shit I see.... 👀

Posted by: Martini Farmer at April 12, 2024 10:39 PM (Q4IgG)

74 You're sitting there, thinking, I don't remember my first hand job.

But then you realize...
Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 12, 2024 10:36 PM (3aLWR)

And just like that we're back to the morning art thread and Ann Margaret doing beans in the rock opera Tommy!

Posted by: Diogenes at April 12, 2024 10:40 PM (W/lyH)

75 49 41 No, it’s an elephant thread!
Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at April 12, 2024 10:22 PM (VNX3d)

Watching Carol trying to keep her composure is just as funny as Tim's story and delivery.
Posted by: tankdemon

Vicki Lawrence won the round, though.

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at April 12, 2024 10:40 PM (VNX3d)

76 Should the cockroaches supplant us, I should hope they will learn one thing from our failed experience. That lesson should be, when one says "Well, to be fair--" that one should be culled. Culled publicly, so that the lesson takes hold.

--------

Also, banish "nuanced" from the entire cockroach language, before it's too late.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at April 12, 2024 10:41 PM (bo7UB)

77 56 Sounds like a question you'll have to ask the Sec of Trans.
Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at April 12, 2024 10:15 PM (mDo0T)

Kamala might have some expertise.
Posted by: tankdemon at April 12, 2024 10:16 PM (EY2fK)

she would say they're like Baskin Robbins, and she's tasted all 31 flavors.

Posted by: Tom Servo at April 12, 2024 10:28 PM (q3gwH)
----
Heinz 57 Varieties has entered the chat.

Posted by: Ciampino - Update #267 at April 12, 2024 10:41 PM (qfLjt)

78 EVER EATEN A spider? The golden orb-weaving spider (Nephila edulis) has a plump abdomen that, after baking, tastes remarkably like pâté. _Australian Geographic
Posted by: Braenyard

Um, no …

But I’ve used one as a floor cleaner.

Posted by: Adriane the Oy Vey Critic. . . at April 12, 2024 10:42 PM (4Winp)

79 70 >>> Speaking of supermarkets and food:
EVER EATEN A spider? The golden orb-weaving spider (Nephila edulis) has a plump abdomen that, after baking, tastes remarkably like pâté. _Australian Geographic
Posted by: Braenyard at April 12, 2024 10:36 PM (MnnLX)

who wrote that, Renfield?

Posted by: Tom Servo at April 12, 2024 10:43 PM (q3gwH)

80 "Nuanced" could be okay, provided that the offender can prove an improved survival technique. After vigorous testing, of course.

"Feelings" should definitely be a death sentence word.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at April 12, 2024 10:44 PM (CHHv1)

81 Mmm, baked beans. Had a good half rack and baked beans in Nashville this week.

*chefs kiss

Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 12, 2024 10:44 PM (3aLWR)

82 Apparently, this Argentinian beer company paid to have their product inserted into a Star Wars film for TV broadcast.

Oh, so it's not a Chilean TV broadcast anymore? ...

Posted by: weft cut-loop at April 12, 2024 10:45 PM (IG4Id)

83 That lesson should be, when one says "Well, to be fair--" that one should be culled. Culled publicly, so that the lesson takes hold.
.
.
.
Posted by: BeckoningChasm

What about writing it in the comment section, cause - to be fair - that IS different?

Posted by: Adriane the Oy Vey Critic. . . at April 12, 2024 10:45 PM (4Winp)

84 Bideneconomics

What a crock of shit.
Gas three years ago: $2.49
Today: $5.04
FJB and all the fucktards on the Hill.

Posted by: Diogenes at April 12, 2024 10:45 PM (W/lyH)

85 74 Damn, that was awesome! The best use that baked beans have ever been put to.

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at April 12, 2024 10:45 PM (9yWhg)

86 4.29 for a gallon of orange juice?

That's got to be some rot-gut Sunny D variety.

A gallon of Tropicana is over 8 bucks in my hood.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at April 12, 2024 10:46 PM (XV/Pl)

87 I thought OJ died.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at April 12, 2024 10:47 PM (3aLWR)

88 Bideneconomics

What a crock of shit.
Gas three years ago: $2.49
Today: $5.04
FJB and all the fucktards on the Hill.
Posted by: Diogenes

To be fair, our dickhead gov. is responsible for about 60 cents worth of that.

Posted by: Some Rat at April 12, 2024 10:48 PM (vJiyU)

89 @83 hissss CLICK hissss CLICK. WE WILL REViEW. HISSS click.

LOWLY HUMANOID WE INSTRUCT YOU TO CLEAN US

CLICK CLICK CLICK. (Pause for emphasis) CLICK

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at April 12, 2024 10:48 PM (CHHv1)

90 And just like that we're back to the morning art thread and Ann Margaret doing beans in the rock opera Tommy!
Posted by: Diogenes

You're welcome! And my Mom said I'd never amount to anything!!

Posted by: Tonypete at April 12, 2024 10:48 PM (WXNFJ)

91 To be fair, our dickhead gov. is responsible for about 60 cents worth of that.
Posted by: Some Rat
‐----------
Plus my 10% Jack.

Posted by: The Handsy Big Guy at April 12, 2024 10:49 PM (41CYW)

92 Vicki Lawrence won the round, though.

You could almost tell that she had primed that shell all during Tim's delivery and was just waiting for the right time to pull the lanyard.

Posted by: Notorious BFD at April 12, 2024 10:49 PM (V8he0)

93 31 How goes it, Tonypete?

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at April 12, 2024 10:49 PM (9yWhg)

94 Beau Biden could eat 50 eggs.

Fifty.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at April 12, 2024 10:50 PM (bo7UB)

95 re "firsthand," a local park, named for John Motley Morehead (1796-1866, "Father of Modern North Carolina') has a sign at the entrance reading "More Head Park."
Posted by: Philip
---------

At Dobbins Air Force base, there was a road named for a former base commander, Col. Ridenhour. The road sign was 'Ridenhour Road'. The sign got mowed down by a vehicle, and probably removed. Apparently the sign shop wasn't explicitly instructed about the replacement

When the replacement was put in place it said, 'Ride-an-Hour Road.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at April 12, 2024 10:50 PM (XeU6L)

96 >>A gallon of Tropicana is over 8 bucks in my hood.

Posted by: Thomas Bender
---

$10 here
but my kidney guy doesn't want me drinking orange juice anyway

Posted by: Don Black at April 12, 2024 10:50 PM (oCjPU)

97 Damn, that was awesome! The best use that baked beans have ever been put to.
Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at April 12, 2024 10:45 PM (9yWhg)

I know, right!!??

Posted by: Diogenes at April 12, 2024 10:50 PM (W/lyH)

98 41 No, it’s an elephant thread!

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=3qqE_WmagjY

Posted by: Hour of the Wolf at April 12, 2024 10:22 PM (VNX3d)
----
Have you seen a pachyderm's dick?

Posted by: Ciampino - Update #268 at April 12, 2024 10:50 PM (qfLjt)

99 Excellent ONT, WD.

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at April 12, 2024 10:51 PM (ynpvh)

100 Have you seen a pachyderm's dick?
Posted by: Ciampino
--------

Pfft.

Posted by: Sperm Whale at April 12, 2024 10:52 PM (XeU6L)

101 Living the dream B! Shopped at Lowes, Rural King and Walmart - all in one day!

Posted by: Tonypete at April 12, 2024 10:52 PM (WXNFJ)

102 96 >>A gallon of Tropicana is over 8 bucks in my hood.

Posted by: Thomas Bender
---

$10 here
but my kidney guy doesn't want me drinking orange juice anyway

Posted by: Don Black at April 12, 2024 10:50 PM (oCjPU)

Yeah. Wadda, Wadda, Wadda.

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at April 12, 2024 10:52 PM (ynpvh)

103 To be fair, our dickhead gov. is responsible for about 60 cents worth of that.
Posted by: Some Rat
‐----------

That limp dick muthafucka Inslee and his socialist asshat buddies.
I also pay a carbon tax now on natural gas.
pricks!

Posted by: Diogenes at April 12, 2024 10:53 PM (W/lyH)

104 102 96 >>A gallon of Tropicana is over 8 bucks in my hood.

Posted by: Thomas Bender
---

$10 here
but my kidney guy doesn't want me drinking orange juice anyway

Posted by: Don Black at April 12, 2024 10:50 PM (oCjPU)

Yeah. Wadda, Wadda, Wadda.

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at April 12, 2024 10:52 PM (ynpvh)

Unless you're needing Dialysis...
No Wadda, No Wadda, No Wadda.

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at April 12, 2024 10:53 PM (ynpvh)

105 So, there are several species of spiders that are eaten by natives.

And my thought is, what's the hunger level where spider becomes a menu option?

And consider further the regularity of famine where survival leaves a majority of the population with aversion to eating spiders muted or eliminated ....

Posted by: People's Hippo Voice at April 12, 2024 10:54 PM (yikga)

106 I'm just trying to keep the stones from coming back

Posted by: Don Black at April 12, 2024 10:54 PM (oCjPU)

107 101 Cool, TonyP! But what is Rural King?

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at April 12, 2024 10:54 PM (9yWhg)

108 @96

>>but my kidney guy doesn't want me drinking orange juice anyway

I have an orange juice glass every evening and every morning as nightcap and a start to the day.

Sometimes there's even a splash of Gin at the bottom.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at April 12, 2024 10:54 PM (XV/Pl)

109 Rural King is another version of Tractor Supply or Farm and Fleet.

Posted by: Tonypete at April 12, 2024 10:55 PM (WXNFJ)

110 107 Other than $20, same as in town?

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at April 12, 2024 10:56 PM (9yWhg)

111 Y'know the only thing that would make that Bidenomics chart, even mo' bettah?

A PRINTABLE version of it. Or a link to a printable version? I tried saving it as an image, but the browser said "oh, no, you ain' gonna be doin' DAT!"

But, yeah. I need to print out a few dozen copies of that chart. I got people what needz PISSIN' OFF!

Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim at April 12, 2024 10:56 PM (e6UQI)

112 The Honda Motorcycle Manual is some funny stuff.

Give big space to the festive dog.

Posted by: JackStraw at April 12, 2024 10:56 PM (LkLld)

113 Have you seen a pachyderm's dick?
Posted by: Ciampino
-----------
The elephant in the room.

Posted by: scampydog at April 12, 2024 10:57 PM (41CYW)

114 I have an orange juice glass every evening and every morning as nightcap and a start to the day.

Sometimes there's even a splash of Gin at the bottom.
Posted by: Thomas Bender at April 12, 2024 10:54 PM (XV/Pl)

Dude...
Check your ratios.
Backwards I think.

Posted by: Diogenes at April 12, 2024 10:57 PM (W/lyH)

115 Have you seen a pachyderm's dick?

Posted by: Ciampino
-----------

The elephant in the room.

Posted by: scampydog at April 12, 2024 10:57 PM (41CYW)

This is about me, isn't it?

Posted by: John Merrick at April 12, 2024 10:59 PM (emlEe)

116 Morehead City is a misnomer.

Posted by: pawn at April 12, 2024 11:00 PM (QB+5g)

117 Have you seen a pachyderm's dick?
Posted by: Ciampino

Pppfffttt!
Slackers.

Posted by: Big Penguin at April 12, 2024 11:00 PM (W/lyH)

118 So someone tell me again. How is eating arachnids (spiders, scorpions, etc.) any different from eating crustaceans (shrimp, lobster, etc.), once the poison of the former is removed?

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at April 12, 2024 11:00 PM (9yWhg)

119 CLICK CLICK CLICK. (Pause for emphasis) CLICK
Posted by: BeckoningChasm at April 12, 2024 10:48 PM (CHHv1)

IT WASN’T ME !!!!

Somebody hacked by account, swearsies !!!!

Posted by: Adriane the Oy Vey Critic. . . at April 12, 2024 11:01 PM (4Winp)

120 The community notes don't mention that Ayoka's 9-year-old daughter survived being shoved out of a vehicle moving at highway speed. Her baby sister was killed.

Crazy? Maybe just evil.

https://tinyurl.com/4syedp62

Posted by: Half Dozen at April 12, 2024 11:01 PM (eHovo)

121 Trombone kid with Mom was funny.

Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt at April 12, 2024 11:01 PM (ufFY8)

122 So, there are several species of spiders that are eaten by natives.

And my thought is, what's the hunger level where spider becomes a menu option?

And consider further the regularity of famine where survival leaves a majority of the population with aversion to eating spiders muted or eliminated ....
Posted by: People's Hippo Voice

==============

Think of it as 'land crab'.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at April 12, 2024 11:02 PM (cOq4q)

123 116 Morehead City is a misnomer.

Posted by: pawn at April 12, 2024 11:00 PM (QB+5g)
----
Bewitching name.

Posted by: Ciampino - nose twitch #268 at April 12, 2024 11:02 PM (qfLjt)

124 Have you seen a pachyderm's dick?
Posted by: Ciampino - Update #268

Um, no … but I had to wash the pajamas.

Posted by: Adriane the Oy Vey Critic. . . at April 12, 2024 11:02 PM (4Winp)

125 This is about me, isn't it?
Posted by: John Merrick
---‐----
Hahaha, well done.

Posted by: scampydog at April 12, 2024 11:03 PM (41CYW)

126 One dick is for pikers.

Posted by: A Shark at April 12, 2024 11:03 PM (bo7UB)

127 Agnes Moorehead was awesome in everything she was in.

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at April 12, 2024 11:04 PM (9yWhg)

128 How is eating arachnids (spiders, scorpions, etc.) any different from eating crustaceans (shrimp, lobster, etc.), once the poison of the former is removed?
Posted by: Bulgaroctonus

Sea food has cocktail & tartar sauce and spiders don’t ???

Posted by: Adriane the Oy Vey Critic. . . at April 12, 2024 11:04 PM (4Winp)

129 22 One does have to wonder... is every dick unique?
Posted by: Martini Farmer

Sounds like a question you'll have to ask the Sec of Trans.
Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at April 12, 2024 10:15 PM (mDo0T)

The Biden Junta has destroyed the POTUS and VPOTUS dreams of Mayor Buttplug, Bernie, Fauxcahontas, Kirsten Jellobrain, Beto!, Senator Salad-Comb, and every other Dem 2020 hopeful. As intended by the DNC and its puppet-masters. Now their plan is almost complete: Kamala as POTUS, who will be even easier to control than Joe.

Posted by: Gref at April 12, 2024 11:05 PM (5fDan)

130 So someone tell me again. How is eating arachnids (spiders, scorpions, etc.) any different from eating crustaceans (shrimp, lobster, etc.), once the poison of the former is removed?

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at April 12, 2024 11:00 PM (9yWhg)

They're not serving arachnids cocktail for WEF dinner starters.

Posted by: RickZ at April 12, 2024 11:06 PM (emlEe)

131 Agnes Moorehead used to do a travelling show on the University circuit. Interpretive reading. She'd take the stage, just a stool, a book, and a bookstand. An hour and a half. Absolutely mesmerizing! One of my better memories of college.

Posted by: Diogenes at April 12, 2024 11:06 PM (W/lyH)

132 Morehead City is a misnomer.

Posted by: pawn

Right up the road is
Seymour Johnson AFB.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at April 12, 2024 11:08 PM (cOq4q)

133 A trombone slide is very delicate. A small ding in it can make it very hard to articulate.

Trombone players are very aware of this and avoid situations where they risk damage.

Most of the time.

Posted by: pawn at April 12, 2024 11:09 PM (QB+5g)

134 131 Agnes Moorehead used to do a travelling show on the University circuit. Interpretive reading. She'd take the stage, just a stool, a book, and a bookstand. An hour and a half. Absolutely mesmerizing! One of my better memories of college.

Posted by: Diogenes at April 12, 2024 11:06 PM (W/lyH)
----
'mesmerizing'? So she was bewitching .....

Posted by: Ciampino - nose twitch #269 at April 12, 2024 11:09 PM (qfLjt)

135 100 Have you seen a pachyderm's dick?
Posted by: Ciampino

I was at the zoo a couple years back with the grandson, and one of the younger bucks was cavorting around with a raging hard-on. Funniest part was the people watching - no one wanted to say anything, but everyone watching; the women mostly looking away (but not really) and all of the men lookin in astonishment and saying 'daaaammn"!

Posted by: Tom Servo at April 12, 2024 11:09 PM (q3gwH)

136 She'd take the stage, just a stool, a book, and a bookstand. An hour and a half. Absolutely mesmerizing! One of my better memories of college.
Posted by: Diogenes

Amber Heard also had a show - just a stool and a bed.

It didn't travel well.

Posted by: Tonypete at April 12, 2024 11:11 PM (WXNFJ)

137 mesmerizing'? So she was bewitching .....
Posted by: Ciampino - nose twitch #269 at April 12, 2024 11:09 PM (qfLjt)

Absolutely!

Posted by: Diogenes at April 12, 2024 11:11 PM (W/lyH)

138 I can tell you from experience, if you've never lived with a pet cat. Or "pet" cat. You are smiled upon by the stars.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at April 12, 2024 11:11 PM (CHHv1)

139 hiya

Posted by: JT at April 12, 2024 11:11 PM (T4tVD)

140 130 So someone tell me again. How is eating arachnids (spiders, scorpions, etc.) any different from eating crustaceans (shrimp, lobster, etc.), once the poison of the former is removed?

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at April 12, 2024 11:00 PM (9yWhg)

Because I won't try to kill you if you ask me to eat a lobster.

Posted by: Tom Servo at April 12, 2024 11:11 PM (q3gwH)

141 128 How is eating arachnids (spiders, scorpions, etc.) any different from eating crustaceans (shrimp, lobster, etc.), once the poison of the former is removed?
Posted by: Bulgaroctonus

Sea food has cocktail & tartar sauce and spiders don’t ???

Posted by: Adriane the Oy Vey Critic. . . at April 12, 2024 11:04 PM (4Winp)

although you would think similar sauces should work given the similar flavors.

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at April 12, 2024 11:12 PM (ynpvh)

142 Fun fact: 1 Kenyan Shilling equals 0.77 US Cents.

Posted by: G'rump928(c) at April 12, 2024 11:12 PM (igaEy)

143 140 130 So someone tell me again. How is eating arachnids (spiders, scorpions, etc.) any different from eating crustaceans (shrimp, lobster, etc.), once the poison of the former is removed?

Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at April 12, 2024 11:00 PM (9yWhg)

Because I won't try to kill you if you ask me to eat a lobster.

Posted by: Tom Servo at April 12, 2024 11:11 PM (q3gwH)

Heh.

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at April 12, 2024 11:12 PM (ynpvh)

144 BC,

I thought you and your cat were not getting along.

Posted by: pawn at April 12, 2024 11:13 PM (QB+5g)

145 Agnes Moorehead used to do a travelling show on the University circuit. Interpretive reading. She'd take the stage, just a stool, a book, and a bookstand. An hour and a half. Absolutely mesmerizing! One of my better memories of college.

Posted by: Diogenes at April 12, 2024 11:06 PM (W/lyH)

That does sound amazing. A true actress, no sets required. Acting is or isn't; an audience is either transported into belief or it's not. With Moorehead, the audience always won.

Posted by: RickZ at April 12, 2024 11:13 PM (emlEe)

146 The community notes don't mention that Ayoka's 9-year-old daughter survived being shoved out of a vehicle moving at highway speed. Her baby sister was killed.

Crazy? Maybe just evil.

https://tinyurl.com/4syedp62

Posted by: Half Dozen at April 12, 2024 11:01 PM (eHovo)

That little girl is going to be scarred for life. I hope she has some sane family that can help take care of her.

Posted by: pookysgirl does not believe in astrology at April 12, 2024 11:14 PM (dtlDP)

147 WD, your ONT s are fabulous.
Wish I didn’t have to get up early tomorrow .

Posted by: Sharon(willows apprentice ) at April 12, 2024 11:15 PM (t/2Uw)

148 Amber Heard also had a show - just a stool and a bed.

It didn't travel well.
Posted by: Tonypete at April 12, 2024 11:11 PM (WXNFJ)

I heard she got a standing O at last year's American Scatological Society Conference. She was a celebrity contributor.

Posted by: Diogenes at April 12, 2024 11:16 PM (W/lyH)

149 They're not serving arachnids cocktail for WEF dinner starters.
Posted by: RickZ
------------
WEF is a no fly zone.

Posted by: Us Arthropods are sneaky like that at April 12, 2024 11:16 PM (41CYW)

150 "Shrimp" are sea bugs. Those who rail against the "eat ze bugz!" should shun shrimp.

But they won't.

Because the urge toward humanity will always trump the urge against the dark

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at April 12, 2024 11:16 PM (CHHv1)

151 Weird Dave's ONT are the only reason I'm here on the weekends.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at April 12, 2024 11:17 PM (CHHv1)

152 How is eating arachnids (spiders, scorpions, etc.) any different from eating crustaceans (shrimp, lobster, etc.), once the poison of the former is removed?
---
That's how I ended up reading about eating spiders.

So, they are closely related but not that close.

And mostly the spider is eaten whole. Although the tarantula they may just eat the butt. And they're not peeling them.
So it's guts and all.
Which, I guess, is probably all the reported flavor is; shell and guts.

Posted by: People's Hippo Voice at April 12, 2024 11:17 PM (yikga)

153 152 How is eating arachnids (spiders, scorpions, etc.) any different from eating crustaceans (shrimp, lobster, etc.), once the poison of the former is removed?
---
That's how I ended up reading about eating spiders.

So, they are closely related but not that close.

And mostly the spider is eaten whole. Although the tarantula they may just eat the butt. And they're not peeling them.
So it's guts and all.
Which, I guess, is probably all the reported flavor is; shell and guts.

Posted by: People's Hippo Voice at April 12, 2024 11:17 PM (yikga)

Try some Balut...

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at April 12, 2024 11:18 PM (ynpvh)

154 How is eating arachnids (spiders, scorpions, etc.) any different from eating crustaceans (shrimp, lobster, etc.), once the poison of the former is removed?
Posted by: Bulgaroctonus

Easier to not eat the shells. The chitin may be the biggest problem with eating insects as it is an allergy trigger and a natural blood clotting source.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at April 12, 2024 11:19 PM (IG4Id)

155 That does sound amazing. A true actress, no sets required. Acting is or isn't; an audience is either transported into belief or it's not. With Moorehead, the audience always won.
Posted by: RickZ

When television was something:

https://youtu.be/_Y62Jfx-cqc?si=h_T8Wcyjves5GIlY&t=394

YooToob has more of Ms. Moorehead. Great stuff.

Posted by: Tonypete at April 12, 2024 11:19 PM (WXNFJ)

156 150 "Shrimp" are sea bugs. Those who rail against the "eat ze bugz!" should shun shrimp.

----------

Shrimp is the fruit of the sea.

Posted by: Forrest Gump at April 12, 2024 11:20 PM (bo7UB)

157 "Shrimp" are sea bugs. Those who rail against the "eat ze bugz!" should shun shrimp.

But they won't.

Because the urge toward humanity will always trump the urge against the dark
Posted by: BeckoningChasm at April 12, 2024 11:16 PM (CHHv1)
***

Cocktail sauce has entered the conversation.

Posted by: Diogenes at April 12, 2024 11:21 PM (W/lyH)

158
Agnes Moorehead was in a Twilight Zone episode, as the woman in the cabin type house being terrorized by mini spacemen in a tiny flying saucer.

Turned out the aliens were actually us, and this was a more primitive planet of giants....

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at April 12, 2024 11:21 PM (w6EFb)

159 "The Invaders." That's the Twilight Zone you're trying to remember. Agnes Moorehead stars -- without a single line of dialogue.

Acting.

Posted by: Way, Way Downriver at April 12, 2024 11:22 PM (zdLoL)

160
The Biden Junta has destroyed the POTUS and VPOTUS dreams of Mayor Buttplug, Bernie, Fauxcahontas, Kirsten Jellobrain, Beto!, Senator Salad-Comb, and every other Dem 2020 hopeful. As intended by the DNC and its puppet-masters. Now their plan is almost complete: Kamala as POTUS, who will be even easier to control than Joe.
Posted by: Gref at April 12, 2024 11:05 PM (5fDan)

How bad do you want it?

*selection committee unzips flys in unison*

Posted by: The Committee at April 12, 2024 11:22 PM (d4X7t)

161 shrimp and lobster have meat inside, bugs have bug stuff. I know, i see it when i squish them.

Posted by: Tom Servo at April 12, 2024 11:22 PM (q3gwH)

162 Shrimpies don’t have hairs all over their legs the way tarantulas do.

*** shudders ***

Posted by: Adriane the Oy Vey Critic. . . at April 12, 2024 11:22 PM (4Winp)

163 Turned out the aliens were actually us, and this was a more primitive planet of giants

****SPOILER ALERT*****

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at April 12, 2024 11:23 PM (bo7UB)

164 159 "The Invaders." That's the Twilight Zone you're trying to remember. Agnes Moorehead stars -- without a single line of dialogue.

Acting.
Posted by: Way, Way Downriver at April 12, 2024 11:22 PM (zdLoL)

----------

Grunting, IIRC

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at April 12, 2024 11:24 PM (bo7UB)

165 Jim - Prints for me:

https://tinyurl.com/mtxh533x

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at April 12, 2024 11:24 PM (XeU6L)

166 Apocalypse? Ayoka….girl, what is your parabola!?!?!?

Posted by: Neil deGrasse Tyson at April 12, 2024 11:25 PM (5h/8D)

167 The Empress Alex won't be around tonight.

Posted by: Way, Way Downriver at April 12, 2024 11:25 PM (zdLoL)

168 I thought Aquaman was the fruit of the sea.

Posted by: Tom Servo at April 12, 2024 11:25 PM (q3gwH)

169 Shrimpies don’t have hairs all over their legs the way tarantulas do.
Posted by: Adriane the Oy Vey Critic.
--------
Hmmm... so Joey Shits His Pants is really a tarantula?

Posted by: Lap Pool Secret Service Knows at April 12, 2024 11:25 PM (41CYW)

170 NYPost has a photo of 93 year old Clint Eastwood

he has a big David Letterman beard

Posted by: Don Black at April 12, 2024 11:26 PM (oCjPU)

171 I love the motorcycle rules. Reminds me of Macho Business Donkey Wrestler.

Bad Japanese translations are oddly poetic.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, My Two Cents at April 12, 2024 11:27 PM (MvA9C)

172 Rainbows and unicorns, it's beginning to make sense.

Posted by: Dr. Bone at April 12, 2024 11:27 PM (wnzcV)

173
Closing Serling Monologue from The Invaders:

These are the invaders, the tiny beings from the tiny place called Earth, who would take the giant step across the sky to the question marks that sparkle and beckon from the vastness of the universe only to be imagined.

The invaders...who found out that a one-way ticket to the stars beyond has the ultimate price tag...and we have just seen it entered in a ledger that covers all the transactions in the universe...a bill stamped "Paid in Full" and to be found unfiled in the Twilight Zone.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at April 12, 2024 11:27 PM (w6EFb)

174 You folks are the greatest community ever. And if the FBI asks you about that, you can say you never knew me, don't know anything about me, musta been on some Lib's payroll. And I'll back you up.

Good night and love to you all.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at April 12, 2024 11:30 PM (CHHv1)

175 Closing Serling Monologue from The Invaders:

These are the invaders, the tiny beings from the tiny place called Earth, who would take the giant step across the sky to the question marks that sparkle and beckon from the vastness of the universe only to be imagined.

The invaders...who found out that a one-way ticket to the stars beyond has the ultimate price tag...and we have just seen it entered in a ledger that covers all the transactions in the universe...a bill stamped "Paid in Full" and to be found unfiled in the Twilight Zone.
Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at April 12, 2024 11:27 PM (w6EFb)
***

Damn!
Doesn't anyone in Hollywood know how to write like that anymore???

Posted by: Diogenes at April 12, 2024 11:30 PM (W/lyH)

176 The invaders...who found out that a one-way ticket to the stars beyond has the ultimate price tag...and we have just seen it entered in a ledger that covers all the transactions in the universe...a bill stamped "Paid in Full" and to be found unfiled in the Twilight Zone.
Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at April 12, 2024 11:27 PM (w6EFb)

All of Serling's monologues are almost like parody's - except they're also incredibly great at the same time!"

Posted by: Tom Servo at April 12, 2024 11:31 PM (q3gwH)

177 shrimp and lobster have meat inside, bugs have bug stuff. I know, i see it when i squish them.

Posted by: Tom Servo at April 12, 2024 11:22 PM (q3gwH)

I'm sure if you squished a mudbug when it was small it would look like a typical smushed bug. But let it grow a little bit. . . .

Posted by: RickZ at April 12, 2024 11:32 PM (emlEe)

178 That astrologer killing her BF and kid is...wow.

Posted by: 18-1 at April 12, 2024 11:33 PM (ibTVg)

179 Damn!
Doesn't anyone in Hollywood know how to write like that anymore???
Posted by: Diogenes

Make it gay! Make it gay! Make it gaaaaaaaay!

Posted by: The Producers. . . at April 12, 2024 11:34 PM (4Winp)

180
Doesn't anyone in Hollywood know how to write like that anymore???
Posted by: Diogenes

https://youtu.be/k8ePSJ44Fiw

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at April 12, 2024 11:34 PM (63Dwl)

181 You folks are the greatest community ever. And if the FBI asks you about that, you can say you never knew me, don't know anything about me, musta been on some Lib's payroll. And I'll back you up.

BeckoningChasm? Never heard of him. Oh did you meant SandraFlukesFifthOrgasm? Yeah pretty sure that guy was a total MAGA terrorist or something.

Posted by: 18-1 not cracking under interrogation at April 12, 2024 11:35 PM (ibTVg)

182 I have tooteled with vigor, in my younger days.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at April 12, 2024 11:36 PM (bo7UB)

183 Francis Ford Coppola's wife, Eleanor, has died at age 87.

Posted by: andycanuck (vtyCZ) at April 12, 2024 11:36 PM (vtyCZ)

184 Shrimp" are sea bugs. Those who rail against the "eat ze bugz!" should shun shrimp.

But they won't.

Because the urge toward humanity will always trump the urge against the dark
Posted by: BeckoningChasm at April 12, 2024 11:16 PM (CHHv1)
***

Shrimp are crustaceans and bugs are insects. Not the same.

They are in the same phylum Arthropoda though,

Posted by: polynikes at April 12, 2024 11:37 PM (MNhXM)

185 Damn!
Doesn't anyone in Hollywood know how to write like that anymore???
Posted by: Diogenes at April 12, 2024 11:30 PM (W/lyH)

No, because that requires reading. Mr. Serling was clearly a literate dude.

Recently a channel on YT started showing a marathon of Space: MCMXCIX, which is a show I hadn't seen in 40 years. I thought it was just weird then and tuned out (AFN was showing it as if it had just come out). I started watching a few episodes and damn, some are still trippy AF but well-written. I feel like a starving man just handed a sandwich or something.

I gotta watch the first season at least. The second and final one seems a bit bizarre.

Posted by: Catch Thirty-Thr33 at April 12, 2024 11:37 PM (9isyS)

186 I do enjoy both shrimp and lobster in many forms of preparation.

Back in the day, when Mrs. Nightwatch and I had time to travel, (before babies) there was a restaurant in Santa Barbara near Stern's Wharf that served the what I can only describe as the most "Sublime" Lobster Bisque I have ever tasted...

That back in a time when things were more civilized...

Posted by: Nightwatch at April 12, 2024 11:37 PM (TDvv2)

187 The kittens are out playing

Ciampino's Rescue Kitties

LIVE STREAMING!!

Twitch: https://is.gd/qyDILz OR http://tinyurl.com/2rvjn93v
YouTube: https://shorturl.at/grR06

Posted by: Ciampino - kittens #270 at April 12, 2024 11:38 PM (qfLjt)

188 I have lost faith in the world, and want it to end. But then, you folks are so awesome I want to keep you. I must, but I cannot! How can you square that?

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at April 12, 2024 11:38 PM (CHHv1)

189 Re The Wood Milk thing, Mat Pat of Food Theory managed to find a way to turn pine into all sorts of mostly edible food items.

Posted by: 18-1 at April 12, 2024 11:38 PM (ibTVg)

190 And Italian fashion designer Roberto Cavalli has died, aged 83.

Whoa. This is the next chyron...

Robert MacNeil, creator and first anchor of PBS NewsHour nightly newscast, dies at 93 in New York.

Posted by: andycanuck (vtyCZ) at April 12, 2024 11:39 PM (vtyCZ)

191
Story about Rod Serling coming up with the intro:

"There is a 4th dimension, beyond that which is known to man...."

Cut! "Rod, time is the 4th dimension. Three space and one time".

Rod: Okay, "There is a 5th dimension, beyond that which is known to man..."

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at April 12, 2024 11:39 PM (w6EFb)

192 That astrologer killing her BF and kid is...wow.

Posted by: 18-1 at April 12, 2024 11:33 PM (ibTVg)

{SHRUGS}

California. Birthplace of 1-800 Miss Cleo.

Posted by: RickZ at April 12, 2024 11:39 PM (emlEe)

193 Good evening morons and thanks for the ONT wd

It's like the Riverboat ride in Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at April 12, 2024 11:40 PM (RIvkX)

194 Cristal is one of the top three beers in Cuba, along with Polar and Hatuey.

Posted by: Commie Suds at April 12, 2024 11:43 PM (V5BDR)

195 187 The kittens are out playing

Ciampino's Rescue Kitties

LIVE STREAMING!!

Twitch: https://is.gd/qyDILz OR http://tinyurl.com/2rvjn93v
YouTube: https://shorturl.at/grR06
Posted by: Ciampino

Awww, adorable! Tell them to clean up that room. Messy kittuhs!

Posted by: Puddleglum at work at April 12, 2024 11:43 PM (S8cdb)

196 Space: MCMXCIX

Posted by: Catch Thirty-Thr33 at April 12, 2024 11:37 PM (9isyS)

I haven't seen "XCIX" in a long, long time.

Posted by: pookysgirl wonders if kids are still taught Roman numerals at April 12, 2024 11:43 PM (dtlDP)

197 Rod Sterling was in the 11th Airborne Division in WW2 and did his fighting in New Guinea and the Philippines. A Toccoa man.

Posted by: Diogenes at April 12, 2024 11:43 PM (W/lyH)

198 "There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man ... a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man's fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination."

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at April 12, 2024 11:44 PM (w6EFb)

199 Seymour Johnson AFB.
Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at April 12, 2024 11:08 PM (cOq4q)

The Shady J

Posted by: Catch Thirty-Thr33 at April 12, 2024 11:44 PM (9isyS)

200 All of Serling's monologues are almost like parody's - except they're also incredibly great at the same time!"

Kolchak was the same way. You could probably add “…in the Twilight Zone.” to the end of most of his closing monologues.

City officials will deny this. But you can see it for yourself, if, if you’d care to venture out to St. Lucy’s Cemetery… and exhume… the corpse. Be my guest… if you’ve got the nerve…
…in the Twilight Zone.

Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at April 12, 2024 11:45 PM (EXyHK)

201 Gas three years ago: $2.49
Today: $5.04
FJB and all the fucktards on the Hill.

$3.29 in our area of NJ. Three years ago on April 3, 2021 gas was $2.78. Been keeping an Excel database since 2005.

Posted by: thatcrazyjerseyguy now with twice the crazy at April 12, 2024 11:45 PM (iODuv)

202
Party like it's MCMXCIX.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at April 12, 2024 11:46 PM (w6EFb)

203
Space 1999. I watched that as a kid. Martin Landau and Barbara Bain.

A ridiculous premise. The Moon is knocked out of orbit by a nuclear explosion on the Moon, and is hurled out of the solar system and through the galaxy.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at April 12, 2024 11:48 PM (w6EFb)

204 And incidentally so will Captain Jonas, formerly of homicide, now Sergeant Jonas of traffic control. You see, he’s in charge of towing away parked cars…

…in the Twilight Zone.

Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at April 12, 2024 11:48 PM (EXyHK)

205 But if you’re in a subway or a pedestrian tunnel underneath the ball park and you think you hear something moving in the walls, it may not be your imagination. Take my advice. Don’t walk, run to the nearest exit.

>… from the Twilight Zone.

Posted by: Stephen Price Blair at April 12, 2024 11:49 PM (EXyHK)

206 But now, not so much in this failing Republic.

The Leftist's now have a stranglehold on the Democrate party and have POWER. They will now move ahead to further this power by what ever means including a defacto REPEAT of 2020 by whatever means necessary.

And they already have their foot soldiers on the ground to ensure 2024.

While the Republicans indulge in a circular FIRING SQUAD.

Beyond PATHETIC.

And very sad to watch.

Posted by: Nightwatch at April 12, 2024 11:50 PM (TDvv2)

207 171 I love the motorcycle rules. Reminds me of Macho Business Donkey Wrestler.

Bad Japanese translations are oddly poetic.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, My Two Cents at April 12, 2024 11:27 PM (MvA9C)
----
Late 80s I had a Japanese printer manual written in flowery Janglish. One bit I remember went something like "if printer wants to print ...." talking about the RS232 interface.

Posted by: Ciampino - C. Itoh #271 at April 12, 2024 11:50 PM (qfLjt)

208 …in the Twilight Zone.

Could be a great way to close any statement in an AoS thread...
…in the Twilight Zone.

Posted by: Diogenes at April 12, 2024 11:52 PM (W/lyH)

209 Space 1999 is on the Roku channel.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at April 12, 2024 11:53 PM (63Dwl)

210 A ridiculous premise. The Moon is knocked out of orbit by a nuclear explosion on the Moon, and is hurled out of the solar system and through the galaxy.
Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at April 12, 2024 11:48 PM (w6EFb
===
Subway on da Moon.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at April 12, 2024 11:54 PM (RIvkX)

211 Nightwatch, time to step away from the bottle and go to bed.

Posted by: Teresa in Fort Worth, Texas, AOS Ladies Brigade, Plucky Comic Relief at April 12, 2024 11:56 PM (SRRAx)

212 Good night all.
Tip your waitress.

Posted by: Diogenes at April 12, 2024 11:57 PM (W/lyH)

213
I have lost faith in the world, and want it to end. But then, you folks are so awesome I want to keep you. I must, but I cannot! How can you square that?
Posted by: BeckoningChasm

Sounds a bit like Ro-Man the Robot Monster

Ro-Man: I cannot - yet I must. How do you calculate that? At what point on the graph do "must" and "cannot" meet? Yet I must - but I cannot!

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at April 12, 2024 11:57 PM (63Dwl)

214 "Space: 1999" was about Sylvia and Gerry Anderson living out their dreams.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at April 12, 2024 11:57 PM (RIvkX)

215 talking about the RS232 interface.
Posted by: Ciampino
-----------
Print "Hello ";CHR$ (34) ; "TRS Model 100";CHR$ (34)

Posted by: scampydog at April 12, 2024 11:58 PM (41CYW)

216 211

Obviously, you are clueless and my wine glass will remain as it is and I will refill it...after this post..

Thank you Karen

Posted by: Nightwatch at April 13, 2024 12:00 AM (TDvv2)

217 {SHRUGS}

California. Birthplace of 1-800 Miss Cleo.
Posted by: RickZ at April 12, 2024 11:39 PM (emlEe)

Yeah, but usually they are hucksters. She BELIEVED. Or was just really committed to the bit.

Thanks for the ONT.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at April 13, 2024 12:00 AM (di6C2)

218
Sorry I haven't been around as much as I have. With Her Majesty's knee surgery and her being largely bedridden, I've had to pick up running the house, taking care of the dogs and ferrying her to various appointments. Plus I've had professional stuff to handle, of which I might expect a good deal more.

When I get some time for myself, I usually just veg. HM is on a cane now so I have to do less for her. Maybe things will improve for spending a little more time talking with you fine folks.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at April 13, 2024 12:04 AM (MoZTd)

219 Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at April 13, 2024 12:04 AM (MoZTd)

===
Moar scritches!

Posted by: Hadrian's puppeh gang at April 13, 2024 12:07 AM (RIvkX)

220 Let us out!
Let us in!
Let us out!
Feed us!

Posted by: Hadrian's puppeh gang at April 13, 2024 12:09 AM (RIvkX)

221 Hello, you morons! Hadrian, good to see you. I gave up Interwebby stuff for Lent, and I find myself not really caring about social media or sites I used to frequent. This is an exception.

There was a humdinger of a windstorm here for the last seven hours. The lights stayed on, but it sounds as if I'll be picking debris for a few hours tomorrow.

Posted by: NaughtyPine at April 13, 2024 12:10 AM (/PbTn)

222 Yeah, but usually they are hucksters. She BELIEVED. Or was just really committed to the bit.

Thanks for the ONT.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at April 13, 2024 12:00 AM (di6C2)

Or both. Hucksters who believed (in not wanting to get caught). People's Temple, e.g.

Posted by: RickZ at April 13, 2024 12:10 AM (emlEe)

223 I'm unaware of any local observance of OJ's demise.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at April 13, 2024 12:15 AM (RIvkX)

224 Thank you as always for the ONT...

My lifeline in times of Mornitude...

Posted by: Nightwatch at April 13, 2024 12:15 AM (TDvv2)

225
Speaker Johnson with former President Trump explaining how non-citizens of the USA can vote by checking a box 'Citizen'.

https://twitter.com/libsoftiktok/status/
1778903087551594868

/ stitch together

Posted by: Divide by Zero at April 13, 2024 12:20 AM (RKVpM)

226 I'm unaware of any local observance of OJ's demise.
Posted by: San Franpsycho
------------
None today? Tomorrow, the gloves are off.

Posted by: scampydog at April 13, 2024 12:21 AM (41CYW)

227 In the little rural community near the farm where I grew up (which is still one of the few places listed in the USGS as a "hamlet"), our postmaster's claim to fame was that he served in Rod Serling's unit during WWII. From him we heard all sorts of stories about Serling as a young GI in the Philippines, and the contrast between Serling the soldier and Serling the Twilight Zone host/writer/creator could hardly be greater.

Young Serling was apparently a guy who almost never shut up and would talk your ear off. While he was stateside, he competed in military boxing matches. We got hints of the sheer hell that distinguished combat in the Philippines, including house-to-house fighting that echoed what one read about Stalingrad.

He seems to have been a popular, charming guy, who wanted to get a degree in Physical Education after the War and coach at some high school. Something happened, though, that was transformative and put him onto the route most of America recognizes today. Our postmaster told us how one of Serling's best friends in his unit lost his life - as Rod was listening to him, the man was decapitated by an aid package dropped to supply the troops. 1/

Posted by: John Drake at April 13, 2024 12:25 AM (WqOsh)

228 I don't know that the astrologer really believed. Doesn't matter, because it looks like somewhere long the line she ceded control to demons. That was pure evil. Play with fire . . .

Posted by: TecumsehTea at April 13, 2024 12:26 AM (JrYM1)

229 226 I'm unaware of any local observance of OJ's demise.
Posted by: San Franpsycho

So OJ grabs Nicole’s crotch and says “This is where babies come from. And this belongs to me!”

Posted by: Access Hollywood at April 13, 2024 12:28 AM (5h/8D)

230 I can relate, Nightwatch. Above all else, nothing pisses me off like being told that I need to go to bed. Or any discussion about bedtime (other than for funny business).

Posted by: Miley, okravangelist at April 13, 2024 12:28 AM (w6EFb)

231 Best OJ joke… Pacific Beach days. Guy walks by with a Fahrvergnugen (or however that is spelled) T-shirt with hieroglyphic character running with a glove on one hand, a knife in the other hand (dripping), with the caption: Fuckinguilty.

Posted by: scampydog at April 13, 2024 12:29 AM (41CYW)

232 ...I'm unaware of any local observance of OJ's demise.
Posted by: San Franpsycho at April 13, 2024 12:15 AM (RIvkX)

Tropicana (should have) issued the following statement:

"The Juice Wasn't Worth The Squeeze"

The mental fallout for those kids must've been all encompassing. And likely, still is.

Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim at April 13, 2024 12:32 AM (e6UQI)

233 I would comment more, but I have been drinking since Friday.

Or maybe it was Tuesday.

Posted by: Misty Water Coloured Memories by Miklos at April 13, 2024 12:35 AM (oGyF9)

234 225
Speaker Johnson with former President Trump explaining how non-citizens of the USA can vote by checking a box 'Citizen'.

https://twitter.com/libsoftiktok/status/
1778903087551594868

/ stitch together
Posted by: Divide by Zero at April 13, 2024 12:20 AM (RKVpM)

Wait, I thought Trump wasn't doing anything to improve election integrity. At least, that's what I've heard.

Posted by: Emmie at April 13, 2024 12:36 AM (Sf2cq)

235 fahrfignugen

I think I fahrfiged a Nuygen once.

It was in Heidelberg, and I have the scars to prove it.

Posted by: All Miklosian memoreies are a bit hazy at April 13, 2024 12:38 AM (oGyF9)

236 I can relate, Nightwatch. Above all else, nothing pisses me off like being told that I need to go to bed. Or any discussion about bedtime (other than for funny business).
Posted by: Miley, okravangelist

Late Nite with Miley and Publius is an Actual Thing.

Posted by: Miklos kept A Certain Groon up until dawn on his Wedding Night at April 13, 2024 12:40 AM (oGyF9)

237 I'm unaware of any local observance of OJ's demise.
Posted by: San Franpsycho

You needed special blood-splatter proof glasses.

Posted by: Miklos unobserved at April 13, 2024 12:41 AM (oGyF9)

238 After that, Serling was never quite the same. Whether it was that dark experience or the horrors in Leyte City or both, he came out of the war a very different man from the one who had enlisted so eagerly a few years before.

As a sort of antidote to the darkness I just related, check out "The Midnight Sun" episode of The Twilight Zone's third season. The story isn't particularly charming, but there's a neat blooper at the beginning. I'm not sure whether they were airing it as a live performance or whether CBS forbid a re-shoot, but the opening scene is set in an apartment. Serling comes out from behind the window curtains and does his usual short monologue introducing the theme of the episode.

As he does this, the two actresses on stage are unsure what to do, and when the camera cuts back to them, they're still puzzled. Do they improv something about the guy behind the curtains, do they wait for him to come out again, do they deliver their lines? After what seems like an eternity, they begin to deliver the lines, and the episode is off and running. Even knowing this, it's still hilarious to watch, like the Dark Shadows foul-ups. 2/fin

Posted by: John Drake at April 13, 2024 12:45 AM (WqOsh)

239 Oh that Ayoka thing is too sad
Posted by: vmom stabby stabby stabby stabby stabamillion at April 12, 2024 10:06 PM (q2svT)

Does she qualify for a Darwin Award?

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at April 13, 2024 12:47 AM (tkR6S)

240 Does she qualify for a Darwin Award?
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon
----------
Undetermined. It is evolving.

Posted by: scampydog at April 13, 2024 12:52 AM (41CYW)

241 -----------
Print "Hello ";CHR$ (34) ; "TRS Model 100";CHR$ (34)
Posted by: scampydog
------
I have an M100 sitting on my kitchen table, as we speak.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at April 13, 2024 12:52 AM (XeU6L)

242 I have an M100 sitting on my kitchen table, as we speak.
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc.

Call the cops, before it spontaneously kills somebody.

Posted by: Miklos and The Precautionary Principle at April 13, 2024 12:54 AM (oGyF9)

243 So someone tell me again. How is eating arachnids (spiders, scorpions, etc.) any different from eating crustaceans (shrimp, lobster, etc.), once the poison of the former is removed?
Posted by: Bulgaroctonus at April 12, 2024 11:00 PM (9yWhg)

Crustaceans are made out of meat. Bugs are made out of bug guts.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at April 13, 2024 12:54 AM (tkR6S)

244 I have an M100 sitting on my kitchen table, as we speak.
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc.

Call the cops, before it spontaneously kills somebody.
Posted by: Miklos
---------
That's pretty cool Hammer. I had a couple of them. Printer, cassette, etc. Miklos: cops will have plenty of time to respond. 9600 baud and a lot of strings to get it to do anything. I did write and print a lot of papers on that sumbitch back in the day however.

Posted by: scampydog at April 13, 2024 12:57 AM (41CYW)

245 Go ahead and steam or boil a bug, like you would a crab, lobster or shrimp.

The oceanic crustaceans will yield MEATS.

The bugs will still offer up only windshield splatter.

And no one is going to reach out with the tongs for the Cockroach Thermidor on the buffet line. EVER.

Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim at April 13, 2024 12:59 AM (e6UQI)

246 Tonight's ONT has been brought to you by sparkling water

So the pipe was used for ground?
Posted by: banana Dream

The pipe probably leads to literal ground, so, yes.

Something else in the house is short one single, solitary ground.

https://youtu.be/uZS5ZtxpWOI

Posted by: mikeski at April 13, 2024 01:01 AM (DgGvY)

247 Some guys and I made a neighborhood telephone system for our little sisters so they could talk. Because the girls wanted to talk, and the boys wanted to make something.

It was made of cheap stuff from Radio Shack, and repurposed parts from old transistor radios and cassette recorders.

It worked, but only as a party line, because we (boys) could not figure out a switchboard. I felt better many years later, when I learned that the switchboard also defeated Bell.

That was solved by Tivadar Puskas, Clever Hungarian.

Posted by: Miklos, 10 year old project manager at April 13, 2024 01:03 AM (oGyF9)

248 9600 baud and a lot of strings
-----------

9600 baud?! Luxury.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at April 13, 2024 01:03 AM (XeU6L)

249 The picture of Norm MacDonald has been making the rounds on the twatter. "OJ will be relieved to know that Nicole's real killer is now dead."

Posted by: BourbonChicken at April 13, 2024 01:04 AM (lhenN)

250 9600 baud?! Luxury.
Posted by: Mike Hammer
----------
Had to cut a lot of lawns to pay for that. And catch/sell a fair amount of gopher snakes to Penrod's Pet Store. A buck a foot they paid.

Posted by: scampydog at April 13, 2024 01:06 AM (41CYW)

251 I watched the ~2000 Vampire Hunter D last week, and now I just watched the 1985 movie.

Posted by: BourbonChicken at April 13, 2024 01:06 AM (lhenN)

252 So, White Bread is up 33.56%.

OFFICIAL

Darleen laughs, I said I NEED A RAISE

Mind out the gutter

Posted by: Miklos, paycheck to paycheck at April 13, 2024 01:08 AM (oGyF9)

253 Had to cut a lot of lawns to pay for that. And catch/sell a fair amount of gopher snakes to Penrod's Pet Store. A buck a foot they paid.
Posted by: scampydog at April 13, 2024 01:06 AM (41CYW)

Gopher snakes don't have feet.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at April 13, 2024 01:09 AM (tkR6S)

254 Go ahead and steam or boil a bug, like you would a crab, lobster or shrimp.

The oceanic crustaceans will yield MEATS.

Crustaceans. Politicians.

Posted by: Congressional Cafeteria Bouaibaisse at April 13, 2024 01:10 AM (oGyF9)

255 It worked, but only as a party line, because we (boys) could not figure out a switchboard. I felt better many years later, when I learned that the switchboard also defeated Bell.
-------

Recommended read: 'A History of Engineering & Science In The Bell System'. Three volumes the second(?) covers most of the 'modern' stuff, 1925-1975.

Bell Labs was one hell of an organization. A lot of very important peope were there.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at April 13, 2024 01:11 AM (XeU6L)

256 Gopher snakes don't have feet.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon
---------
You're right. But when one of the gopher snakes got out of the holding cage during mom's bridge night a lot of ladies moved their feet pretty fast. And my feet were moving pretty fast too.....both that night and the tap dancing the next morning.

Posted by: scampydog at April 13, 2024 01:13 AM (41CYW)

257 You're right. But when one of the gopher snakes got out of the holding cage during mom's bridge night a lot of ladies moved their feet pretty fast. And my feet were moving pretty fast too.....both that night and the tap dancing the next morning.
Posted by: scampydog at April 13, 2024 01:13 AM (41CYW)

LOL! Did the pet store also sell them by the foot?

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at April 13, 2024 01:15 AM (tkR6S)

258 *people

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at April 13, 2024 01:15 AM (XeU6L)

259 Crustaceans. Politicians.
Posted by: Congressional Cafeteria Bouaibaisse

Politics.

Poly: many
Ticks: blood sucking insects

This checks out.

Posted by: mikeski at April 13, 2024 01:15 AM (DgGvY)

260 Bell Labs was one hell of an organization. A lot of very important peope were there.
Posted by: Mike Hammer
----------
Agree. Sadly, Bell Labs is a story lost on younger generations. So many great minds, ideas, and inventions came out of Bell Labs. Bunch of smarties.

Posted by: scampydog at April 13, 2024 01:16 AM (41CYW)

261 LOL! Did the pet store also sell them by the foot?
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon

Rented 'em by the hour if you had a gopher problem.

Posted by: mikeski at April 13, 2024 01:16 AM (DgGvY)

262 Recommended read: 'A History of Engineering & Science In The Bell System'. Three volumes the second(?) covers most of the 'modern' stuff, 1925-1975.

Bell Labs was one hell of an organization. A lot of very important peope were there.
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at April 13, 2024 01:11 AM (XeU6L)

I knew a guy who was offered a job at Bell Labs right out of university. He turned it down, and moved to Yellowknife. Still there.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at April 13, 2024 01:18 AM (tkR6S)

263 >> Bell Labs was one hell of an organization. A lot of very important peope were there.

Ken Thompson, Dennis Ritchie, the founding fathers of UNIX.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at April 13, 2024 01:19 AM (w6EFb)

264 LOL! Did the pet store also sell them by the foot?
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon
----------
The pet store wouldn't tell me what they did with them. I was trying to cut out the middle man but they held fast and were tight lipped. Mom was dishing out an ass paddling by the second, not the foot the next morning. There may have been a wooden spoon that was broken that was quickly replaced with a metal spatula for "continuation."

Posted by: scampydog at April 13, 2024 01:21 AM (41CYW)

265 9600 baud?! Luxury.
Posted by: Mike Hammer

FUN FACT

When I wrote for Newsweek from Hungary in the 90s, I could sent at 14400.

The smart People in New York in New York could not receive. Behind many curves.

So I had to fax everything and it was retyped by somebody.

This was at the same time Newsweek insisted I had a an early mobile phone, that weighed as much as a car battery, and did not work.

Posted by: Miklos, who learnt at April 13, 2024 01:21 AM (oGyF9)

266
I encourage all to read the history of switchboards, operators, and the evolution of the Public Switched Telephone Network.

An amusing fact from early history. The phone companies first thought about employing teenage boys as operators, as they had worked so well as "gophers" and such in the telegraph days.

They were piss poor operators, turns out. Teenage boys sucked at what would now know as "telephone etiquette".

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at April 13, 2024 01:21 AM (w6EFb)

267 *people
Posted by: Mike Hammer

*who love *people

Are the Happiest *people of all

Posted by: *klos at April 13, 2024 01:23 AM (oGyF9)

268 Ken Thompson, Dennis Ritchie, the founding fathers of UNIX.
---------
Hendrik Bode.

If you're feeling rusty, check the wiki entry
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bode_plot

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at April 13, 2024 01:25 AM (XeU6L)

269 When I wrote for Newsweek from Hungary in the 90s, I could sent at 14400.
The smart People in New York in New York could not receive.
Posted by: Miklos
-----------
Hahahaha. I had completely forgotten about the handle/speed problem. Wow. What a blast from the past. Everything was so early and was a riddle. Corny, but I miss the "go" that people had to solve the riddles.

Posted by: scampydog at April 13, 2024 01:25 AM (41CYW)

270 Bell Labs was one hell of an organization. A lot of very important peope were there.
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc.,

Two Words

Tesla

Posted by: Miklos, working on a documentary about Tesla, Ma Bell, and Aliens at April 13, 2024 01:26 AM (oGyF9)

271 If you're feeling rusty, check the wiki entry
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bode_plot
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at April 13, 2024 01:25 AM (XeU6L)

Ow, my brain!

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at April 13, 2024 01:30 AM (tkR6S)

272 Hammer: Bell Labs. Probably oversharing, but WTF. I was a jock/nerd. Jock friends had not a clue about Bell Labs. Nerd friends - we all wanted to be a part of it (more than NASA) and it was competitive to see if any of us could get there. None did.

Posted by: scampydog at April 13, 2024 01:32 AM (41CYW)

273 178 That astrologer killing her BF and kid is...wow.

Posted by: 18-1 at April 12, 2024 11:33 PM (ibTVg)

So she's a Zodiac Killer...

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at April 13, 2024 01:34 AM (ynpvh)

274 None did.
Posted by: scampydog

30 years ago I applied to work at SpaceX.

Posted by: Adriane the Unworthy Critic . . . at April 13, 2024 01:35 AM (4Winp)

275 Nerd friends - we all wanted to be a part of it (more than NASA) and it was competitive to see if any of us could get there. None did.
Posted by: scampydog
------------

Among my engineer friends, Bell Labs was the ultimate job. There was also the realization that if you hadn't made it by age 27...then you never were going to be there.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at April 13, 2024 01:36 AM (XeU6L)

276 Agree. Sadly, Bell Labs is a story lost on younger generations. So many great minds, ideas, and inventions came out of Bell Labs. Bunch of smarties.
Posted by: scampydog

Now see?

Some people scare me from Knowledge and Competence, others in gummint jobs in the opposite way.

Posted by: Miklos, smelting gold out back at April 13, 2024 01:37 AM (oGyF9)

277 So she's a Zodiac Killer...
Posted by: jim
------------
I'm ready to solve that puzzle, Jim.

Posted by: Ted Cruz loves Zodiac Killer Cryptograms and Ciphers at April 13, 2024 01:37 AM (41CYW)

278 196 Space: MCMXCIX

Posted by: Catch Thirty-Thr33 at April 12, 2024 11:37 PM (9isyS)

I haven't seen "XCIX" in a long, long time.

Posted by: pookysgirl wonders if kids are still taught Roman numerals at April 12, 2024 11:43 PM (dtlDP)

https://youtu.be/fhvae0x3Z2Y&t=33s

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at April 13, 2024 01:38 AM (ynpvh)

279 Darleen says she could sell me and charge by the foot.

Gonna hafta say NO

Posted by: Miklos, shift cahnge at the Waffle Hut in 24 minutes at April 13, 2024 01:39 AM (oGyF9)

280 215 talking about the RS232 interface.
Posted by: Ciampino
-----------
Print "Hello ";CHR$ (34) ; "TRS Model 100";CHR$ (34)

Posted by: scampydog at April 12, 2024 11:58 PM (41CYW)

We used to call the model 80s "Trash-80's".

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at April 13, 2024 01:40 AM (ynpvh)

281 I haven't seen "XCIX" in a long, long time.

Posted by: pookysgirl

99 years?

Posted by: Miklosius Caroliniensis at April 13, 2024 01:40 AM (oGyF9)

282 226 I'm unaware of any local observance of OJ's demise.
Posted by: San Franpsycho
------------
None today? Tomorrow, the gloves are off.

Posted by: scampydog at April 13, 2024 12:21 AM (41CYW)

Hah!

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at April 13, 2024 01:40 AM (ynpvh)

283 Some people scare me from Knowledge and Competence
Posted by: Miklos
---------
The AOS effect. Most intellectually humbling place I've ever spent time in. So many minds here. Got humbled on the golf course this evening, get humbled in this comment section regularly. 'Course you're all ass hats too.

Posted by: scampydog at April 13, 2024 01:42 AM (41CYW)

284 Well, Dick York and Dick Sargeant were certainly different.
Posted by: Bulgaroctonus

That's what SHE said!

Posted by: Michael Scott! at April 13, 2024 01:42 AM (tjZg/)

285 Ha! The old 2007 Canadian series Blood Ties is on Amazon.

Christina Cox was hawt in that.

Posted by: anchorbabe fashion cop at April 13, 2024 01:42 AM (ufFY8)

286 We used to call the model 80s "Trash-80's".
Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia)

Come on.

The 80s was a cool decade, except for Nena and her 99 Lufftballons

Posted by: Miklos has Fond Memories of that time, and voting for Reagan and music (not a coincidendence) at April 13, 2024 01:42 AM (oGyF9)

287 I thought OJ died.
Posted by: AlaBAMA

Repealing Net Neutrality killed him, it just took a while.

Posted by: Dick Durbin, idiot from Illinois at April 13, 2024 01:45 AM (tjZg/)

288 I have been wearing hats for years.

Never been called a Pointy-Headed Intellectual.

Success!

Posted by: Miklos notes that Pablo Picasso was never called an asshole at April 13, 2024 01:46 AM (oGyF9)

289 We used to call the model 80s "Trash-80's".
Posted by: jim
--------
Oh yeah. Referred to them the same. They were the quite the get in their day, however.

Posted by: scampydog at April 13, 2024 01:46 AM (41CYW)

290 Well, sleepiness is overtaking me. Night, Horde.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at April 13, 2024 01:48 AM (tkR6S)

291 Night, AOP.
Wow, didn't realize it was so late...

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at April 13, 2024 01:48 AM (ynpvh)

292 Well, sleepiness is overtaking me. Night, Horde.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon

Pay

PAY ME

Posted by: the Gravity Tax at April 13, 2024 01:49 AM (oGyF9)

293 G'night AOP. May your dreams be filled with solving odd vehicular projects. Did you ever get that laser sight mounted, btw?

Posted by: scampydog at April 13, 2024 01:49 AM (41CYW)

294 289 We used to call the model 80s "Trash-80's".
Posted by: jim
--------
Oh yeah. Referred to them the same. They were the quite the get in their day, however.

Posted by: scampydog at April 13, 2024 01:46 AM (41CYW)

We had them connected to one main TRS-80 in our computer lab in HS. There was a cassette recorder used for saving the programs; the teach got so upset when one of the students played AC/DC on it...

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at April 13, 2024 01:49 AM (ynpvh)

295 293 G'night AOP. May your dreams be filled with solving odd vehicular projects. Did you ever get that laser sight mounted, btw?

Posted by: scampydog at April 13, 2024 01:49 AM (41CYW)

Car with a laser mount? Does it come with something to shoot at where the laser is pointing?

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at April 13, 2024 01:50 AM (ynpvh)

296 We had them connected to one main TRS-80 in our computer lab in HS. There was a cassette recorder used for saving the programs; the teach got so upset when one of the students played AC/DC on it...
Posted by: jim

Wasn't me

Posted by: Shop Teacher Jim "Nine Fingers" Wojekowski at April 13, 2024 01:52 AM (oGyF9)

297 Among my engineer friends, Bell Labs was the ultimate job. There was also the realization that if you hadn't made it by age 27...then you never were going to be there.
Posted by: Mike Hammer

Back in my youth, I was working at a semiconductor fab plant (NCR) and the Holy Grail then was the 64K Ram (and that seems so pitiful now). A lot of the fab factories were working on it. But Bell Labs was already making them, but couldn't sell them because they were a monopoly (AT&T back in those days, youngins').

Posted by: A face in the crowd..... at April 13, 2024 01:52 AM (tjZg/)

298 We had them connected to one main TRS-80 in our computer lab in HS. There was a cassette recorder used for saving the programs; the teach got so upset when one of the students played AC/DC on it...
Posted by: jim
----------
Cripes, Jim. Did we attend the same HS? We actually had the floppy's for each station but were all attached the the main TRS-80. I hacked it and the next class period got a scrolling message about an attractive classmate. Spent a few evenings in detention for that adventure.

Posted by: scampydog at April 13, 2024 01:53 AM (41CYW)

299 Never was cool kid enough to have done the Trash 80 or TRS DOS.

But did for a short time have a 2nd hand Compac Suitcase, running C/PM, before I got my first (new) IBM PC with DOS 2.1 in all of its glory.

Word Star was the software that allowed my nascent "writer" to begin to emerge from the soil, and find sunlight.

Been growing weeds, ever since! lol

Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim at April 13, 2024 01:53 AM (e6UQI)

300 Just got an email:

I am a Financial Consultant. I have a business proposal that will be of interest to you with a large sum of benefit. Your esteemed address was introduced to me by the Commerce and Industry in my search for a reliable individual who can handle a strictly
confidential transaction.

Seems legit, this could be my big break.

Posted by: Weirddave at April 13, 2024 01:57 AM (8RJ5+)

301 But Bell Labs was already making them, but couldn't sell them because they were a monopoly (AT&T back in those days, youngins').
Posted by: A face in the crowd..... at April 13, 2024 01:52 AM (tjZg/)

My roommates freshman year in college were a Japanese-descended guy from California, a first generation Chinese American from NY, and a Russian Jew from Cleveland whose parent worked at Bell Labs.

Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt at April 13, 2024 01:57 AM (ufFY8)

302 298 We had them connected to one main TRS-80 in our computer lab in HS. There was a cassette recorder used for saving the programs; the teach got so upset when one of the students played AC/DC on it...
Posted by: jim
----------
Cripes, Jim. Did we attend the same HS? We actually had the floppy's for each station but were all attached the the main TRS-80. I hacked it and the next class period got a scrolling message about an attractive classmate. Spent a few evenings in detention for that adventure.

Posted by: scampydog at April 13, 2024 01:53 AM (41CYW)

Heh. We'd always have kids come in during lunch and do a two line basic program:
10 Print "xxx is Cool!"
20 Goto 10
LOL.
I took Pascal my Junior year and used it to write a "game" where you were an x-wing fighter (bottom) and were trying to shoot the Tie-Fighter (top). You knew you'd made it when kids at lunchtime found your program and where playing it.

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at April 13, 2024 01:57 AM (ynpvh)

303 because they were a monopoly (AT&T back in those days, youngins').
Posted by: A face in the crowd

We don't care

We don't have to.

We're the Phone Company.

Posted by: Miklos in best Lily Tomlin voice at April 13, 2024 01:57 AM (oGyF9)

304 303 because they were a monopoly (AT&T back in those days, youngins').
Posted by: A face in the crowd

We don't care

We don't have to.

We're the Phone Company.

Posted by: Miklos in best Lily Tomlin voice at April 13, 2024 01:57 AM (oGyF9)

You'd think a monopoly was a group of monopoles...

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at April 13, 2024 01:59 AM (ynpvh)

305 299 Word Star.
-------
Another blast from the past. Nostalgia. Heck, I might go in the basement and pull the old photo albums. The stuff buried in our brains.

Posted by: scampydog at April 13, 2024 01:59 AM (41CYW)

306 I took Pascal my Junior year and used it to write a "game" where you were an x-wing fighter (bottom) and were trying to shoot the Tie-Fighter (top). You knew you'd made it when kids at lunchtime found your program and where playing it.
Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia)

I was never cool enough to be a geek, much less a nerd.

Posted by: Miklos, alone in the HS cafeteria at April 13, 2024 01:59 AM (oGyF9)

307
Look out! It's the Phone Cops!!!!!! IEEEEEEEEE!

Posted by: Dr. Kinda Sorta Johnny Fever at April 13, 2024 02:00 AM (w6EFb)

308 299
...
Posted by: Jim at April 13, 2024 01:53 AM (e6UQI)

A bit before my time. Although the JC I went to still used punch cards for your programs.

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at April 13, 2024 02:00 AM (ynpvh)

309 306 I took Pascal my Junior year and used it to write a "game" where you were an x-wing fighter (bottom) and were trying to shoot the Tie-Fighter (top). You knew you'd made it when kids at lunchtime found your program and where playing it.
Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia)

I was never cool enough to be a geek, much less a nerd.

Posted by: Miklos, alone in the HS cafeteria at April 13, 2024 01:59 AM (oGyF9)

Never a geek. Nary a snake, bat, or chicken have found their cabezas in my mouth.

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at April 13, 2024 02:01 AM (ynpvh)

310 Word Star was the software that allowed my nascent "writer" to begin to emerge from the soil, and find sunlight.

Jim

One slowly begins to suspect that Jim is having us on with the whole "29" thing.

Posted by: Miklos, perhaps guilty as well at April 13, 2024 02:03 AM (oGyF9)

311 Mike's Bode Plot link has given me the Sadz.

I'm remembering all the shit I've forgotten. I mean remembering that I used to know this shit, but it has done slipped my mind.

I remember learning about Fourier series, and how any periodic function could be expressed as the sum of harmonics of a base frequency (and infinite sum).

Then, you generalize that. Rather the frequency being a discrete bunch of harmonics, you let it go to a continuous variable. That's the Fourier Transform. Then you have a Laplace Transform, which, well.....math, lot of it.

I've forgotten that shit. The brain, it forgets shit.

Posted by: Dr. Kinda Sorta Johnny Fever at April 13, 2024 02:04 AM (w6EFb)

312 I took Pascal my Junior year and used it to write a "game" where you were an x-wing fighter (bottom) and were trying to shoot the Tie-Fighter (top). You knew you'd made it when kids at lunchtime found your program and where playing it.
Posted by: jim
----------
Eerily similar. We wrote a program for extra credit that was similar to the Defender arcade game, in Pascal. Another Pascal adventure... Pascal did not have a random number generator. I had to write code to generate for a program I was writing for randomizing the toss of two dice. Took me a couple days to solve that riddle as a 17 yr old. Good mental exercise.

Posted by: scampydog at April 13, 2024 02:04 AM (41CYW)

313 I am a Financial Consultant. I have a business proposal that will be of interest to you with a large sum of benefit. Your esteemed address was introduced to me by the Commerce and Industry in my search for a reliable individual who can handle a strictly
confidential transaction.

Seems legit, this could be my big break.
Posted by: Weirddave

Sorry.

That was intended for CBD

Posted by: Miklos, a Prince of a some sort at April 13, 2024 02:05 AM (oGyF9)

314 ...Seems legit, this could be my big break.
Posted by: Weirddave at April 13, 2024 01:57 AM (8RJ5+)

So, you'll donate from your proceeds to The Urkraine and to The Gazastinians?

'Cause that's what all the True Believers in all the online myths DO with the profits they never realize from those many scams.

But, their INTENTIONS were pure! Right?.... RIGHT?

/s

Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim at April 13, 2024 02:09 AM (e6UQI)

315 In the years that I taught English, no scammer company offered me Significant Sums to teach them how scam a bit more credibly.

Neither has any political party.

Hmmmm

Posted by: Prof. Dr. Miklos, with Healing Spells for All Modalities at April 13, 2024 02:10 AM (oGyF9)

316 312 I took Pascal my Junior year and used it to write a "game" where you were an x-wing fighter (bottom) and were trying to shoot the Tie-Fighter (top). You knew you'd made it when kids at lunchtime found your program and where playing it.
Posted by: jim
----------
Eerily similar. We wrote a program for extra credit that was similar to the Defender arcade game, in Pascal. Another Pascal adventure... Pascal did not have a random number generator. I had to write code to generate for a program I was writing for randomizing the toss of two dice. Took me a couple days to solve that riddle as a 17 yr old. Good mental exercise.

Posted by: scampydog at April 13, 2024 02:04 AM (41CYW)

Well...it did, but it wasn't random, not even pseudo-random. I made a craps game in Pascal, but the output was always deterministic. Had to cheat (like reading random ports and stuff).

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at April 13, 2024 02:10 AM (ynpvh)

317 I am a Financial Consultant. I have a business proposal that will be of interest to you with a large sum of benefit. Your esteemed address was introduced to me by the Commerce and Industry in my search for a reliable individual who can handle a strictly
confidential transaction.

Seems legit, this could be my big break.
Posted by: Weirddave

LMAO thanks for the ONT WD. Don't know, I've avoided Nigerian investments.

Posted by: Farmer at April 13, 2024 02:15 AM (55Qr6)

318 317
Posted by: Farmer at April 13, 2024 02:15 AM (55Qr6)

I suppose you know the joke about making a small fortune in farming...

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at April 13, 2024 02:16 AM (ynpvh)

319 And I think I'm done. Night all.

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at April 13, 2024 02:17 AM (ynpvh)

320 FUN AND SCARY FACT

The software that runs all Soviet era nuclear power plants was written by people who are long since dead. Commie COBOL knock-off.

A limited number of Super Geek kids are able to figure out out what the Grandfathers did.

And keep them running, somehow, maybe.

Posted by: Miklos is aware at April 13, 2024 02:19 AM (oGyF9)

321 Well...it did, but it wasn't random, not even pseudo-random. I made a craps game in Pascal, but the output was always deterministic. Had to cheat (like reading random ports and stuff).
Posted by: jim
--------------
I tried to write some code as f(x) approached infinity, which was an abject failure. Ended up with a factor of 999,999 divisor which gave me 64 possible outcomes that....nevermind....no math on the blog. The instructor gave me a B and told me to try harder.

Posted by: scampydog at April 13, 2024 02:19 AM (41CYW)

322 And I think I'm done. Night all.
Posted by: jim

Night and Val-U-Rite!

Posted by: Miklos has a glass somewhere at April 13, 2024 02:21 AM (oGyF9)

323 The software that runs all Soviet era nuclear power plants was written by people who are long since dead. Commie COBOL knock-off.

A limited number of Super Geek kids are able to figure out out what the Grandfathers did.

And keep them running, somehow, maybe.
Posted by: Miklos
----------
Another blast from the past (no nuclear pun intended). I recall reading about the Soviet COBOL and how it was used in their nuclear programs.

Posted by: scampydog at April 13, 2024 02:23 AM (41CYW)

324 G'night jim (in Kalifornia). Thanks for the nostalgia chatter.

Posted by: scampydog at April 13, 2024 02:23 AM (41CYW)

325 I suppose you know the joke about making a small fortune in farming...
Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at April 13, 2024 02:16

I recall a joke about the farmer winning the lottery. He was going to spend it all on farming till it was gone. I'm terrible about repeating jokes.

Posted by: Farmer at April 13, 2024 02:25 AM (55Qr6)

326 300 Just got an email:

I am a Financial Consultant. I have a business proposal that will be of interest to you with a large sum of benefit. Your esteemed address was introduced to me by the Commerce and Industry in my search for a reliable individual who can handle a strictly
confidential transaction.

Seems legit, this could be my big break.
Posted by: Weirddave

Job offers from other galaxies are risky. Good hunting!

Posted by: Puddleglum at work at April 13, 2024 02:25 AM (S8cdb)

327 That top pic. It reminded me of an album cover. Like it's a rejected idea for the cover of 'Eat A Peach'-The Allman Brothers.

Posted by: Puddleglum at work at April 13, 2024 02:26 AM (S8cdb)

328 "All threads become movie threads. Unless they are move threads, then they become accounting threads"- from the sidebar

Or software threads, from the days when we used mules to sort the punchcards.

Posted by: Miklos lookin' at you whippersnappers at April 13, 2024 02:27 AM (oGyF9)

329 Or software threads, from the days when we used mules to sort the punchcards.
Posted by: Miklos lookin' at you whippersnappers
-------------
Pleasure to meet you.

Posted by: ENIAC at April 13, 2024 02:30 AM (41CYW)

330

Pseudo random is just that. Ain't no way to get real randomness with any deterministic program. This is problematic for encryption and all that. You need to "seed" with something truly random, best as you can get from whatever hardware you have.

Look up the "RANDU" function, used on old IBM mainframes and such. It was the worst random number generator every conceived.

It was so bad that many results are called into question that used. Supposedly Randu was purged by the 1990s.

Posted by: Dr. Kinda Sorta Johnny Fever at April 13, 2024 02:30 AM (w6EFb)

331
Bob@NSA loves bad random number generators. It lets him crack shit.

Posted by: Dr. Kinda Sorta Johnny Fever at April 13, 2024 02:31 AM (w6EFb)

332 Randu was purged by the 1990s.
Posted by: Dr. Kinda Sorta Johnny Fever
-------------
If one stared at and studied the patterns enough back in the day there were certainly patterns to the random number generators. Probably (as mentioned above) why I got a B and was told to try harder. Brute force could solve a bundle of the predictability of such things. But damnit, it was fun trying.

Posted by: ENIAC at April 13, 2024 02:35 AM (41CYW)

333 A random generator.

Get 365 different Serial Numbers from a like number of wildly non-related physical items as can be grabbed.

TV remotes. Car VINs. Power Tools. X-Ray machines. A day's worth of BATF firearm checks.

Put all THOSE numbers into your "randomizer".

Now, add one wild-card serial number, per day.

A random Canon SLR lens serial number.

Or that of a Toro lawnmower.

This throws the Human Element into your randomizer. Which is the only way that it's ever going to work.

Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim at April 13, 2024 02:38 AM (e6UQI)

334 This throws the Human Element into your randomizer. Which is the only way that it's ever going to work.
Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX
Posted by: Jim
---------
So you're saying to add the red head, stripper, and the hairdresser minds/logic to the equation. I think your plan will work. Completely unpredictable with a side of risk. I like where you're going with this, Jim.

Posted by: scampydog at April 13, 2024 02:41 AM (41CYW)

335 In my day, was was paid by the punch, you see.

At dawn, we got some little breakfast, and then to harvest them datas.

Gotta haul-on yo back!-all them cards, and punch 'em yo own self self.

We was paid by the pound, punch and minute.

Wasn't much left after Ol' Man Bezos charged for rentin' the shack, and paying at the comp'ny sto, no Suh, we had little left at the end of the day.

Posted by: Beloved Uncle Miklos, 101 year old data sharecropper at April 13, 2024 02:41 AM (oGyF9)

336
Randu was a "linear congruential generator". They chose the values of various coefficients to be very fast computationally in the hardware. That turned out to be the worst possible choices and made it very unrandom.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at April 13, 2024 02:50 AM (w6EFb)

337 That top pic. It reminded me of an album cover. Like it's a rejected idea for the cover of 'Eat A Peach'-The Allman Brothers.
Posted by: Puddleglum
-----------
50's pop culture art. It holds up.

Posted by: scampydog at April 13, 2024 02:51 AM (41CYW)

338 Randu was a "linear congruential generator". They chose the values of various coefficients to be very fast computationally in the hardware. That turned out to be the worst possible choices and made it very unrandom.
Posted by: publius
-----------
Interesting. I tried to apply some geometry to solve the riddle but found it to be too predictive. How you describe it makes sense of it now (40 years later) to this 29 year old.

Posted by: scampydog at April 13, 2024 02:53 AM (41CYW)

339 They chose the values of various coefficients to be very fast computationally in the hardware. That turned out to be the worst possible choices and made it very unrandom.
Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley

This might explain certain online dating sites.

Posted by: Miklos, hazarding a guess at April 13, 2024 02:54 AM (oGyF9)

340 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3mySp41Qs8

Posted by: Miklos, preparing for Total Horizonyality at April 13, 2024 02:58 AM (oGyF9)

341 This might explain certain online dating sites.
Posted by: Miklos
-----------
So your saying this is about the maths? No randomization? Has this turned into a chemistry thread? Damnit....I'm going to need a tutor, a punctuation expert, and grammar tutor.

Posted by: scampydog at April 13, 2024 03:01 AM (41CYW)

342 I've avoided Nigerian investments.
Posted by: Farmer
--
Please routing information send us transfer for.

Posted by: Honest Nigerian Princeling at April 13, 2024 03:07 AM (41CYW)

343
Getting true randomness from a computer system is very hard. It may look uniform and random, but it is not.

You've got to "seed" things with some truly unpredictable. The Linux kernel has a notion of "entropy", some unpredictable sample it tries to gather to create this "pool of entropy" for random number generation purposes.

It uses things like user keyboard clicking, mouse movements, and other unpredictable hardware timings.

Say I'm typing something, and you're typing something. The same damn sentence, the same sequence of words. You and me will be diffeerent in the timings of our keystrokes typing that out. And I will be different with my timing depending on all sorts of seemingly unpredictable factors.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at April 13, 2024 03:08 AM (w6EFb)

344 343. Ok, you've got my pea brain working. What if we take the contrapositive side of the keystrokes, responses, clicking, mouse movements, etc. A clever one with time on their hands could potentially solve that riddle (this is the type of person that hasn't been laid in 20 years). But what if we apply some form of randomization to the contrapositive, and then break it further. Say by a 7 factor? I dunno, seems like we could write some code to solve that too. Need to noodle on it some more I suppose.

Posted by: scampydog at April 13, 2024 03:17 AM (41CYW)

345 Now that The Juice has finally croaked, my shares of frozen orange juice have sky-rocketed into another realm.

Posted by: Dr. Bone at April 13, 2024 03:18 AM (wnzcV)

346 Now that The Juice has finally croaked, my shares of frozen orange juice have sky-rocketed into another realm.
Posted by: Dr. Bone
------
Looking good, Billy Ray!

Posted by: scampydog at April 13, 2024 03:21 AM (41CYW)

347
As a young man at Clempson Cow Collidge, I got interested in encryption. I thought I knew something. These linear congruential random number generators. I thought that was something. And I expanded that to non-linear. Thought I was making it "even more random" (spoiler, no such thing at all).

So, enter a "password". Use that as your seeds to one of them random number generators. I remember thinking I'd done done something good. That very non-random distribution of some "plain text" looked like random gibberish. Nobody could crack that.

Well, I was an idiot. From what I've learned since then, ol' Bob@NSA could crack that in his sleep without working up a sweat.

What I thought was all random looking, nope, to Bob that was a deterministic, trivially so, mapping that he could figure out in no time flat.

To stump Bob, you've got to have true randomness. And that's really hard to get.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at April 13, 2024 03:22 AM (w6EFb)

348 Good night Smarty Grey Box Morons. Enjoy your weekend and mix in an extralegal adventure if you can avoid getting caught.

Posted by: scampydog at April 13, 2024 03:24 AM (41CYW)

349
A theoretically un-crackable "cipher" is known as the one-time cipher pad. You've got plain text, what you want to encrypt. Now, generate a series of truly random numbers as long as that plaint text. XOR it.

Transmit it. Now, to decrypt, you need to know that length of truly random numbers. If it is truly random, it can't be predicted.

This is cumbersome and unwieldly. If you need to transmit X bytes of plaintext, you need X bytes of truly random numbers, and you need to pre-share that random sequence.

That is theoretically unbreakable. But it depends on true randomness, and a very, tedious procedure.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at April 13, 2024 03:43 AM (w6EFb)

350 Why I shouldn't stay up past my weekday schedule

Posted by: Skip at April 13, 2024 03:49 AM (fwDg9)

351 PIXY's NOOD IS UP

Posted by: Skip at April 13, 2024 04:03 AM (fwDg9)

352
I don't get the last ONT WTF about Thomas, the nephew who burned his house down.

And Friday the 13th came early for me today! My car broke down on the way to work except that I had to go to an office 100+ miles away so I'd spent the night before at a local AirBnB and I wound up having to rent a car to drive home. I must say, the AAA was very helpful.

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at April 13, 2024 04:17 AM (lCaJd)

353 158
Agnes Moorehead was in a Twilight Zone episode, as the woman in the cabin type house being terrorized by mini spacemen in a tiny flying saucer.

Turned out the aliens were actually us, and this was a more primitive planet of giants....
Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at April 12, 2024 11:21 PM (w6EFb)

; )

Posted by: m at April 13, 2024 04:24 AM (o3SCB)

354 352
I don't get the last ONT WTF about Thomas, the nephew who burned his house down.

And Friday the 13th came early for me today! My car broke down on the way to work except that I had to go to an office 100+ miles away so I'd spent the night before at a local AirBnB and I wound up having to rent a car to drive home. I must say, the AAA was very helpful.
Posted by: Blonde Morticia at April 13, 2024 04:17 AM (lCaJd)

246 Tonight's ONT has been brought to you by sparkling water

So the pipe was used for ground?
Posted by: banana Dream

The pipe probably leads to literal ground, so, yes.

Something else in the house is short one single, solitary ground.

https://youtu.be/uZS5ZtxpWOI

Posted by: mikeski at April 13, 2024 01:01 AM (DgGvY)

Posted by: m at April 13, 2024 04:25 AM (o3SCB)

355 WeirdDave!

Posted by: Candidus at April 13, 2024 09:44 AM (3Yefj)

356 The trombone kid video is great.

The scary airplane video is of so-called "top-dressing planes" - ones designed to drop dry fertiliser over hill country farms where trucks can't go.

Specifically that's New Zealand. I can tell from the combination of grass, bush and hills, plus the two planes are specialist Fletcher jobs designed and built in the country. The dry fert is mined out of small Pacific islands that basically consist of nothing but bird shit.

You can read the history here at Wiki:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aerial_topdressing

Suffice to say it's the most dangerous flying in NZ. The "airstrips" are all grass, usually up in the hills, and run downhill to help full-loaded planes get airborne.

Posted by: Xenophon at April 13, 2024 09:30 PM (Ym6Dh)

357 Also, haha, another video clip of the same situation and possibly the same NZ airstrip - complete with native commentary this time...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1z_D4KlwGcI

Posted by: Xenophon at April 13, 2024 09:36 PM (Ym6Dh)

358 TY for the ONT WD.

True story, a couple of minutes ago Jules came to the door and said "Were you laughing?". I responded in the affirmative and she said "I didn't know if you were laughing or dying".

Thanks for some raucous laughter tonight.

Posted by: Farmer at April 13, 2024 11:59 PM (55Qr6)

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