Saturday Overnight Open Thread (4/13/24)

*****

The Saturday Night Joke

Will I Live to see 85❓
(Here's something to think about):
After having to choose a new primary care doctor, I was curious!
After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, she said I was doing fairly well for my age. (I am north of 75).
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking her, 'Do you think I'll live to be 85?'
She asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco, or drink beer, wine or hard liquor?'
'Oh no,' I replied. 'I'm not doing drugs, either!'
Then she asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?'
I said, 'Not much... My former doctor said that all red meat is very unhealthy!'
'Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, boating, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?'
'No, I don't,' I said.
She asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?'
'No,' I said.........
She looked at me and said, 'Then................................. why do you even give a shit?' (H/T Isophorone Blog)

*****

In case you missed it. The famed OJ Simpson assumed room temperature via cancer. Moar OJ humor via Norm MacDonald.

*****

The question was, do I place in The Weekend Hobby Thread or The ONT?

(H/T #2 for Isophorone Blog)

The ONT won.

*****

I wonder how many comments this story will receive:

Average penis sizes around the world revealed in interactive map... and the US and UK are nowhere near the top 10
The UK and US are not even in the 50 countries for the biggest penis size
READ MORE: Surgeon reveals body part that gives away how big their penis is

*****

Math, how does it work? What is the law of unintended consequences?

UNHAPPY MEAL McDonald’s fans blast chain after new $25 meal goes viral – and customers call it the ‘going broke meal’
Several menu items have been called out by fans over supposed price increases

*****

"Oops, sorry about that." the head librarian chimed in.

South Jersey library apologizes for possibly handing out fake eclipse glasses
Moorestown Library staff warned that the shades bought on Walmart.com appear to have been counterfeits.

*****

The ONT Musical Interlude & Retirement Emporium

All good things come to an end. I certainly hope that Mr. Anderson will tour the US of A one more time before he retires.

*****

A moonlit cruise leads to a Genius Award Winner.

Man arrested for allegedly taking a decommissioned NYC fireboat for an overnight cruise
NEW YORK (AP) — A man was arrested Thursday for allegedly taking a decommissioned New York City fireboat for an overnight cruise on the Hudson River, before becoming stuck, jumping ship and stealing another vessel, police said.
He was charged with two counts of grand larceny, officials said. He had not been arraigned as of Thursday afternoon and it was not immediately clear if he had a lawyer.

*****

Tonight's ONT has been brought to you by Kitchen ~~Etiquette~~ Attitude. And maybe a Mystery Click.

Notice: Posted with someone's permission, amirite?

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at 09:50 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Happy SONT!

10 more workdays to retirement

Posted by: Anonymous Rogue in Kalifornistan (ARiK) at April 13, 2024 09:52 PM (QGaXH)

2 Evening.

Posted by: Robert at April 13, 2024 09:52 PM (GZplb)

3 I don't believe it!

Thank you for Sat ONT Mis Hum!

Back to lurking and on to content...

Posted by: Anonymous Rogue in Kalifornistan (ARiK) at April 13, 2024 09:53 PM (QGaXH)

4 Supplement to the Saturday Night Joke.

https://tinyurl.com/mpxchj5n

Posted by: Robert at April 13, 2024 09:54 PM (GZplb)

5 Good evening everyone.

Posted by: Tonypete at April 13, 2024 09:54 PM (WXNFJ)

6 "If you care about your fucking country, read Ludwig von Mises and the six lessons of the Austrian economic school, motherfuckers."

-
@moicanoufc

https://tinyurl.com/2ubsudjt

UFC dude is 100% correct.

Posted by: Robert at April 13, 2024 09:55 PM (IKHQ2)

7 Good evening horde. Have a good ONT. Thanks MisHum. On to the content...

Posted by: TRex at April 13, 2024 09:56 PM (IQ6Gq)

8 *hic*

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at April 13, 2024 09:56 PM (bo7UB)

9 I saw the punchline coming.

I'm that kind of guy.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at April 13, 2024 09:57 PM (bo7UB)

10 Present and lurking.

Posted by: Count de Monet at April 13, 2024 09:57 PM (4I/2K)

11 7 Good evening horde. Have a good ONT. Thanks MisHum. On to the content...
Posted by: TRex at April 13, 2024 09:56 PM (IQ6Gq)

You're welcome. But you wont be in the content long.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian Who Lives In The Thawed Out Tundra at April 13, 2024 09:58 PM (8aThB)

12 Iran clearly hates mosques.

https://tinyurl.com/yy8ckzhu

Posted by: Robert at April 13, 2024 09:59 PM (GZplb)

13 Wings. Bacon. Penis Map. Tull.

The essential ingredients of a high-quality ONT are all present.

Carry on.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at April 13, 2024 09:59 PM (bo7UB)

14 never actually

Posted by: Ciampino - C. Itoh #271 at April 13, 2024 09:59 PM (qfLjt)

15 Yo horde

Posted by: Zeera the ungoverened at April 13, 2024 10:02 PM (5XN0j)

16 At the theater for the UFC 300 fights. What can I say but my cultural tastes are highly refined.

I managed to make it through the week without buying all the necessary accessories for the Honda Trail 125 I ordered on Monday. That proves I am an idiot.

Posted by: Lost in Space at April 13, 2024 10:03 PM (Lqaiw)

17 13 Wings. Bacon. Penis Map. Tull.

The essential ingredients of a high-quality ONT are all present.

Carry on.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at April 13, 2024 09:59 PM (bo7UB)

Always good to get your stamp of approval Cicero.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian Who Lives In The Thawed Out Tundra at April 13, 2024 10:03 PM (8aThB)

18 >“In Brentwood, O.J. himself was spotted manning a lemonade stand with his daughter Sydney. Asked by reporters why sales were so poor, O.J. replied, ‘Beats me.’ And then he went back to cutting lemons with a giant knife.”

Norm was told he would be fired if he kept this up. And eventually they did fire him.

People on twitter put up his picture with some A+ Norm-type jokes.

Posted by: BourbonChicken at April 13, 2024 10:03 PM (lhenN)

19 Jethro Tull concerts have wicked mosh pits. Especially when Ian Anderson begins one of his flute solos. When the Wall of Death forms for that, look the hell out!!!

Of course, they also perform "Aqualung" about 15-20 times because that is the only song they are known for.

Posted by: Catch Thirty-Thr33 at April 13, 2024 10:03 PM (9isyS)

20 You know, I never thought about it but OJ outlived Norm.

That kind of pisses me off.

Thanks for the ONT.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at April 13, 2024 10:04 PM (di6C2)

21 Buffalo wings! My favorite food ! *have not had any for a long time...

Posted by: runner at April 13, 2024 10:04 PM (V13WU)

22 Moorestown Library staff warned that the shades bought on Walmart.com appear to have been counterfeits.
***
I did wonder about this. How could you independently check the quality of your glasses? Seems pretty easy to wrap a cardboard frame around some dark film.

Posted by: TRex at April 13, 2024 10:05 PM (IQ6Gq)

23 Sorry I'm late, the centipede needed help tying his sneakers.

Posted by: tankdemon at April 13, 2024 10:05 PM (RmXPb)

24 6 "If you care about your fucking country, read Ludwig von Mises and the six lessons of the Austrian economic school, motherfuckers."

Or, the basics.

Thomas Sowell's Basic Economics. Milton Friedman's Free to Choose, Hayek's The Road to Serfdom.

Posted by: Catch Thirty-Thr33 at April 13, 2024 10:05 PM (9isyS)

25 Average penis sizes around the world revealed in interactive map... and the US and UK are nowhere near the top 10

They should break down the USA numbers a bit more.

While the average penis in most of the country is 5.2 inches, the average penis in Washington D.C. is about 5-foot-8.

Posted by: mikeski at April 13, 2024 10:05 PM (DgGvY)

26 Evenin'

Posted by: Puddleglum at work at April 13, 2024 10:05 PM (wrXPz)

27 19 Jethro Tull concerts have wicked mosh pits. Especially when Ian Anderson begins one of his flute solos. When the Wall of Death forms for that, look the hell out!!!

-----------

There is nothing like a badass flute solo to make the testosterone levels peak.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at April 13, 2024 10:06 PM (bo7UB)

28 20 You know, I never thought about it but OJ outlived Norm.

That kind of pisses me off.

Thanks for the ONT.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at April 13, 2024 10:04 PM (di6C2)

***SNORT***

Posted by: Keith Richards at April 13, 2024 10:06 PM (8aThB)

29 Seriously, those are some beautiful looking wings ! I bet they are very tasty !

Posted by: runner at April 13, 2024 10:06 PM (V13WU)

30 Saturday Night Joke made me guffaw. Humor is based in truth.

Posted by: Admiral spinebender at April 13, 2024 10:06 PM (duT0u)

31 Holy moly! Those wings and beer look scrumptious!
Evenin' all...
Back to content....

Posted by: COMountainMarie at April 13, 2024 10:07 PM (IvaTo)

32 ***SNORT***
Posted by: Keith Richards at April 13, 2024 10:06 PM (8aThB)

Eh, different animal. Keith obviously is an elf from the woodlands.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at April 13, 2024 10:07 PM (di6C2)

33 22 Moorestown Library staff warned that the shades bought on Walmart.com appear to have been counterfeits.
***
I did wonder about this. How could you independently check the quality of your glasses? Seems pretty easy to wrap a cardboard frame around some dark film.
Posted by: TRex at April 13, 2024 10:05 PM (IQ6Gq)

Well, those who aren't stupid and aren't willing to persist staring at the sun will look away if their shades are found to be fradulent or damaged. That's how I tested the efficacy of mine, and my #14 welder's glass.

One pair I have, given to me at Balloon Fiesta Park in Albuquerque on May 20, 2012 for tha annular, is the veteran of three eclipses now. Four, if you count the 2014 partial.

Posted by: Catch Thirty-Thr33 at April 13, 2024 10:07 PM (9isyS)

34 Dwight Yoakam and the Mavericks are play the same show in Moorehead, MN. I would like to note they skipped over Wisconsin and North Dakota.

Posted by: Lost in Space at April 13, 2024 10:07 PM (Lqaiw)

35 The ONT won.

Don't fight it.

Posted by: mikeski at April 13, 2024 10:08 PM (DgGvY)

36 Brandon, don't forget your receipts, you boob.

Posted by: Hokey Pokey at April 13, 2024 10:08 PM (as3uC)

37 25 Average penis sizes around the world revealed in interactive map... and the US and UK are nowhere near the top 10

They should break down the USA numbers a bit more.

While the average penis in most of the country is 5.2 inches, the average penis in Washington D.C. is about 5-foot-8.
Posted by: mikeski at April 13, 2024 10:05 PM (DgGvY)

I take offense to that

Posted by: Lezbo Dyke Tammy Baldwin US Sen Carpet Muncher-WI at April 13, 2024 10:08 PM (8aThB)

38 Every time a musician dies, Keith Richards undergoes the Quickening. So if you are near him, get away from windows and stay indoors.

Posted by: Catch Thirty-Thr33 at April 13, 2024 10:08 PM (9isyS)

39 Late 80s/early 90s Columbo on the work TV (Cozi). Background song was that hit for Fine Young Cannibals (Drive me crazy?). I think that was the name of it. Got the hell played out of it and then poof, it was gone. Like the band.

Posted by: Puddleglum at work at April 13, 2024 10:09 PM (wrXPz)

40 Great joke!!!

Posted by: Diogenes at April 13, 2024 10:09 PM (W/lyH)

41 Thomas Sowell's Basic Economics. Milton Friedman's Free to Choose, Hayek's The Road to Serfdom.

----------

Hayek's book is a framework for comprehending all actions of government.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at April 13, 2024 10:09 PM (bo7UB)

42 And now I am curious. What's just out-of-frame that requires forks? You don't need forks for wings and beers.

Posted by: mikeski at April 13, 2024 10:09 PM (DgGvY)

43 38 Every time a musician dies, Keith Richards undergoes the Quickening. So if you are near him, get away from windows and stay indoors.
Posted by: Catch Thirty-Thr33 at April 13, 2024 10:08 PM (9isyS)

Heh. He might even drop the cigarette hanging out of his mouth.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at April 13, 2024 10:10 PM (di6C2)

44 In other news...
OJ is dead.

Finally.

Posted by: Zombie Norm at April 13, 2024 10:10 PM (B705c)

45 20 You know, I never thought about it but OJ outlived Norm.

That kind of pisses me off.

Thanks for the ONT.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at April 13, 2024 10:04 PM (di6C2)

Damnit. Now I am thinking of that. Puts a damper on things. Thanks.

Posted by: Catch Thirty-Thr33 at April 13, 2024 10:10 PM (9isyS)

46 Thanks for the dandy Saturday Night ONT, Mis Hum!

Loved the joke!

I rather envy the toast people and their bacon and egg hot tub...

Posted by: Legally Sufficient at April 13, 2024 10:11 PM (U3L4U)

47 13 Wings. Bacon. Penis Map. Tull.

The essential ingredients of a high-quality ONT are all present.

Carry on.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at April 13, 2024 09:59 PM (bo7UB)
----
Sadz lack of bewbs or even legz.

Posted by: Ciampino - C. Itoh #272 at April 13, 2024 10:11 PM (qfLjt)

48 42 And now I am curious. What's just out-of-frame that requires forks? You don't need forks for wings and beers.
Posted by: mikeski at April 13, 2024 10:09 PM (DgGvY)

I can see if it is a communal bowl of wings. You spear one, transfer it to your plant. Use your fingers to eat, then repeat.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at April 13, 2024 10:11 PM (di6C2)

49 That last mystery click: I'm going to make a bold statement for which I will most likely be roasted. The most inclusive music around is zydeco. Zydeco gets everybody's toes tappin', at least. Where there's zydeco, there's a party and usually good eats. What's not to like?

Posted by: RickZ at April 13, 2024 10:12 PM (emlEe)

50 46 Thanks for the dandy Saturday Night ONT, Mis Hum!

Loved the joke!

I rather envy the toast people and their bacon and egg hot tub...
Posted by: Legally Sufficient at April 13, 2024 10:11 PM (U3L4U)

Glad you enjoyed

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian Who Lives In The Thawed Out Tundra at April 13, 2024 10:12 PM (8aThB)

51 Colorado Avalanche got their asses handed to them by Winnipeg Jets, 7-0. I am new to watching hockey, but it seems the Avs have lost their mojo of late. 🏒

Posted by: Don Black at April 13, 2024 10:12 PM (oCjPU)

52 Ya know, I'm a crappy welder and I couldn't finish that video. It just hurt that much.

Posted by: Oddbob at April 13, 2024 10:12 PM (/y8xj)

53 1 Happy SONT!

Took me a second. Saturday ONT.

I was thinking Sonet? Wut?

(Synchronous Optical Networking (SONET))

Posted by: Puddleglum at work at April 13, 2024 10:12 PM (wrXPz)

54 WE WERE IN THE POOL!

Posted by: Cambodia at April 13, 2024 10:13 PM (bo7UB)

55 Thanks for the ONT MisHum!
Zydeco!

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at April 13, 2024 10:13 PM (4dNCX)

56 TRAPPED IN MORTAL SOLITUDE
LIFT THE GLEAMING BLADE
SLICE HER FLESH TO SHREDS
WATCH HER BLOOD FLOW FREE
HATRED GROWING STRONGER
NONE SURVIVE MY WRATH
SUFFER FROM THE THROBBING PAIN
YIELD YOUR LIFE TO ME
NO APPARENT MOTIVE, JUST KILL AND KILL AGAIN, SURVIVE MY BRUTAL THRASHING, I'LL HUNT YOU TIL THE END, MY LIFE'S A CONSTANT BATTLE THE RAGE OF MANY MEN, HOMICIDAL MANIAC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Slayer, "Kill Again" from 1985, but may as well be an ode to Orenthal

Posted by: Catch Thirty-Thr33 at April 13, 2024 10:13 PM (9isyS)

57 Diogenes
I dropped you an e-mail the other day.
Check your spam file.

Posted by: Winston, GOPe, McFailure wing of the Uniparty at April 13, 2024 10:13 PM (vAHT7)

58 Nice ONT, Mis Hum. Thanks!

Posted by: LRob in OK at April 13, 2024 10:13 PM (TSQkU)

59 I'll be damned!
Didn't know I was Equadorian.

Posted by: Diogenes at April 13, 2024 10:13 PM (W/lyH)

60 Surgeon reveals body part that gives away how big their penis is

——————-

That body part is the penis, right doc?

Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 13, 2024 10:13 PM (u73oe)

61 49 That last mystery click: I'm going to make a bold statement for which I will most likely be roasted. The most inclusive music around is zydeco. Zydeco gets everybody's toes tappin', at least. Where there's zydeco, there's a party and usually good eats. What's not to like?
Posted by: RickZ at April 13, 2024 10:12 PM (emlEe)

I completely agree with you. Good stuff toes tappin, fingers drummin'

And The SQ approves of your choice.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian Who Lives In The Thawed Out Tundra at April 13, 2024 10:13 PM (8aThB)

62 JB Weld is a good product when used properly. It get a bad rap from all of the idiots who do shitty work.

As for those welds, I think a cat could do better than that.

Posted by: Lemmiwinks at April 13, 2024 10:14 PM (tCU73)

63 Good evening morons and thanks mh

I have lived where BBQ wings are a sacrament and come as a side with most meals.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at April 13, 2024 10:14 PM (RIvkX)

64 Diogenes
I dropped you an e-mail the other day.
Check your spam file.
Posted by: Winston, GOPe, McFailure wing of the Uniparty at April 13, 2024 10:13 PM (vAHT7

I will.

Posted by: Diogenes at April 13, 2024 10:14 PM (W/lyH)

65 Tasty ONT MisHum. I saw Skynard a few weeks ago. There were no original members but the replacements definitely do a fine job.

We also saw ZZ Top that night. Dusty Hill's bass tech has replaced him. Not quite the same imho.

Speaking of "fast" cars, I bought a 65 Spitfire today. Why? I dunno.

Posted by: fd at April 13, 2024 10:15 PM (vFG9F)

66 54 WE WERE IN THE POOL!
Posted by: Cambodia at April 13, 2024 10:13 PM (bo7UB)

It's time to taste what you most fear
Right Guard will not help you hear

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Oil9GB_Sec

Posted by: Dead Kennedys at April 13, 2024 10:15 PM (9isyS)

67 Hmm. I would have figured China would get the gold ring for tiniest penis sizes. Go figure.

But fear not. China still has high hopes for aceing the Flattest Boob Size category.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at April 13, 2024 10:15 PM (bo7UB)

68 Good evening! Well this should be a spirited ont!

Posted by: Piper at April 13, 2024 10:16 PM (ZdaMQ)

69 Equadorian..Ecuadorian...
With a dick this big, I'll spell it any way I want!

Posted by: Diogenes at April 13, 2024 10:16 PM (W/lyH)

70 Speaking of "fast" cars, I bought a 65 Spitfire today. Why? I dunno.
Posted by: fd at April 13, 2024 10:15 PM (vFG9F)

You really like the 60s british electrical systems? Maybe want to do some brake adjustin'?

Posted by: Aetius451AD at April 13, 2024 10:16 PM (di6C2)

71 Speaking of "fast" cars, I bought a 65 Spitfire today. Why? I dunno.
Posted by: fd at April 13, 2024 10:15 PM (vFG9F)

1) Too much money
2) A great wife
3) See 1&2

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian Who Lives In The Thawed Out Tundra at April 13, 2024 10:16 PM (8aThB)

72 Breitbart: Six Killed, Multiple Injured in Sydney Shopping Mall Stabbing Attack, Suspect Shot Dead

https://tinyurl.com/5afkccxp

No word on whether the knife was semi or full auto.

Posted by: Robert at April 13, 2024 10:17 PM (GZplb)

73 But fear not. China still has high hopes for aceing the Flattest Boob Size category.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at April 13, 2024 10:15 PM (bo7UB)

IIRC, Australia holds the Golden Mound Crown for that contest.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at April 13, 2024 10:17 PM (di6C2)

74 Jeff Beck -Apache - Sleepwalk medley

Masterful.

https://youtu.be/wlyunWX6Y9s

Posted by: Lost in Space at April 13, 2024 10:17 PM (Lqaiw)

75 JB Weld is awesome and has saved my butt numerous times.

Posted by: fd at April 13, 2024 10:18 PM (vFG9F)

76 We growers, not showers!

Posted by: China at April 13, 2024 10:18 PM (4I/2K)

77 While the average penis in most of the country is 5.2 inches, the average penis in Washington D.C. is about 5-foot-8.
Posted by: mikeski at April 13, 2024 10:05 PM (DgGvY)

"why do lawyers wear neckties"

Posted by: Kindltot at April 13, 2024 10:18 PM (D7oie)

78 And The SQ approves of your choice.
Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian Who Lives In The Thawed Out Tundra at April 13, 2024 10:13 PM (8aThB)

Will I ever live down the shame?

Posted by: RickZ at April 13, 2024 10:18 PM (emlEe)

79 IIRC, my Dad used JB Weld to fix an ... alternator(?) bracket on my sister's car that had broken. He told her to get it fixed as soon as she could, but I do not think she did.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at April 13, 2024 10:19 PM (di6C2)

80 There are people who should never work on *any* car.
There are others that should not be able to weld or use JB weld on anything!

Posted by: AZ deplorable moron at April 13, 2024 10:19 PM (4dNCX)

81 27
There is nothing like a badass flute solo to make the testosterone levels peak.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at April 13, 2024 10:06 PM (bo7UB)
----
An anthropologist is visiting a primitive society. One night, he hears drums beating in the distance. Concerned, he asks one of the tribesmen what's up with the drums. The native says "Drums ok, but if drums stop very bad--run away."

The drums beat on for an hour. Still uneasy, the anthropologist asks again if things are ok. Again, the native replies "Drums ok, but if drums stop very bad -- run away."

After another hour, the drums stop. The native stops dead in his tracks and looks up and says "Drums stop! Very bad! Run away!!"

Scared now, the anthropologist asks what happens next.

The native replies "Flute solo!"

Posted by: Ciampino - C. Itoh #273 at April 13, 2024 10:19 PM (qfLjt)

82 Three days after eating a block of cheese.

https://tinyurl.com/jmr6epnw

Posted by: Robert at April 13, 2024 10:19 PM (GZplb)

83 78 And The SQ approves of your choice.
Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian Who Lives In The Thawed Out Tundra at April 13, 2024 10:13 PM (8aThB)

Will I ever live down the shame?
Posted by: RickZ at April 13, 2024 10:18 PM (emlEe)

No, you will not. But all is good in The ONT world

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian Who Lives In The Thawed Out Tundra at April 13, 2024 10:19 PM (8aThB)

84 "Maybe want to do some brake adjustin'?
Posted by: Aetius451AD a"

Front discs. The brakes are pretty good. Lucas electrics. The lights are pretty bad.

Posted by: fd at April 13, 2024 10:20 PM (vFG9F)

85 The native replies "Flute solo!"
Posted by: Ciampino - C. Itoh #273 at April 13, 2024 10:19 PM (qfLjt)

*golfclap*

Posted by: Aetius451AD at April 13, 2024 10:20 PM (di6C2)

86 The real reason Nicole Brown Simpson was killed:

OJ and Nicole were out for a drive when a CHP vehicle pulled in behind them and pulled them over. The officer approached the driver's side and explained that he stopped them because the driver (OJ) was not wearing his seat belt. OJ maintained that he was wearing his seat belt, and only took it off after pulling to the shoulder of the road. After some back and forth, the officer addresses Nicole and says, "Ma'am, if you look me straight in the eye and tell me that the driver was wearing his seat belt, I'll let him off with a warning." Nicole looks the officer square in the eye and says, "Officer, I've found it's best not to argue with him when he's been drinking."

Posted by: Stu Podaso at April 13, 2024 10:20 PM (f746Z)

87 Wings. Bacon. Penis Map. Tull.
The essential ingredients of a high-quality ONT are all present.
Carry on.
Posted by: Cicero

I saw Bacon Penis Map open for Maudlin Of The Well at Cabaret Voltaire in 2001.

https://youtu.be/94V4nFgjHu0

Posted by: mikeski thinks the "I saw X open for Y" joke is also an important ingredient at April 13, 2024 10:20 PM (DgGvY)

88 That last mystery click: I'm going to make a bold statement for which I will most likely be roasted. The most inclusive music around is zydeco. Zydeco gets everybody's toes tappin', at least. Where there's zydeco, there's a party and usually good eats. What's not to like?
Posted by: RickZ at April 13, 2024 10:12 PM (emlEe)

It isn't Bachata

Posted by: Kindltot at April 13, 2024 10:20 PM (D7oie)

89 I was told I have swollen lug nuts. i am thinking I should get a second opinion.

Posted by: Lost in Space at April 13, 2024 10:21 PM (Lqaiw)

90 Simon Ateba @simonateba 14h
BREAKING IN NEW YORK: New York police have seized E. Jean Carroll's unlicensed gun after she mentioned it during her defamation lawsuit testimony against Donald Trump.

NOTE: @NBCNews just reported that the Warwick chief of police visited her home in February to seize the gun.

Posted by: andycanuck (vtyCZ) at April 13, 2024 10:21 PM (vtyCZ)

91 "1) Too much money
2) A great wife
3) See 1&2
Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian"

It's an investment. Also, I hear you can make them run on coal dust or wood gas.

Posted by: fd at April 13, 2024 10:21 PM (vFG9F)

92 70 Speaking of "fast" cars, I bought a 65 Spitfire today. Why? I dunno.
Posted by: fd at April 13, 2024 10:15 PM (vFG9F)

You really like the 60s british electrical systems? Maybe want to do some brake adjustin'?

Posted by: Aetius451AD at April 13, 2024 10:16 PM
***
The Prince of Darkness laughs...

Posted by: Lucas at April 13, 2024 10:22 PM (IQ6Gq)

93 >>> JB Weld is a good product when used properly. It get a bad rap from all of the idiots who do shitty work.
Posted by: Lemmiwinks at April 13, 2024 10:14 PM (tCU73)

I've had cause to use their plasticweld on a few occasions and it works well, bonds well, sands well.

Posted by: banana Dream at April 13, 2024 10:22 PM (yN/eL)

94
The world will come to an end soon. Her Majesty spoke the following words, "You were right. I was wrong."

It was just a question of the date the handyman was coming, but still.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at April 13, 2024 10:22 PM (MoZTd)

95 65 Speaking of "fast" cars, I bought a 65 Spitfire today. Why? I dunno.

Posted by: fd at April 13, 2024 10:15 PM
***
How was your rallycross adventure last weekend?

Posted by: TRex at April 13, 2024 10:23 PM (IQ6Gq)

96 'Moorestown Library staff warned that the shades bought on Walmart.com appear to have been counterfeits.'

Gosh....do you suppose they were made in China?!

Posted by: COMountainMarie at April 13, 2024 10:25 PM (IvaTo)

97 I fixed a fuel injector housing with JB Weld and it not only got me home it was still holding a year later when I got around to replacing it.

Posted by: fd at April 13, 2024 10:26 PM (vFG9F)

98 91 "1) Too much money
2) A great wife
3) See 1&2
Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian"

It's an investment. Also, I hear you can make them run on coal dust or wood gas.
Posted by: fd at April 13, 2024 10:21 PM (vFG9F)

Your positive attitude is noted, duly noted!

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian Who Lives In The Thawed Out Tundra at April 13, 2024 10:26 PM (8aThB)

99 48
I can see if it is a communal bowl of wings. You spear one, transfer it to your plant. Use your fingers to eat, then repeat.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at April 13, 2024 10:11 PM (di6C2)
----
Wait, you have a finger-eating plant? Is this like the one in Little Shop Of Horrors?

Posted by: Ciampino - C. Itoh #274 at April 13, 2024 10:27 PM (qfLjt)

100 Winston, GOPe, McFailure wing of the Uniparty

Better resend. I'm not seeing it.

Posted by: Diogenes at April 13, 2024 10:27 PM (W/lyH)

101 As an adjacent story to the size of members, here is an insightful article on the size of women’s derrières ‘round the world:
https://tinyurl.com/mr3yxez4

Posted by: Piper at April 13, 2024 10:27 PM (ZdaMQ)

102 One Mad Grandma @SWeb96249008 5h Replying to @catturd2
My sister, who is a left-wing nut, lives in Denver. She's bitching that she has to lock the dumpsters up after work because of the illegals.
I told her, " You voted for this shit!"

Posted by: andycanuck (vtyCZ) at April 13, 2024 10:27 PM (vtyCZ)

103 "How was your rallycross adventure last weekend?
Posted by: TRex"

Broke the LF lower control arm on run 6. It was going great until then.

Posted by: fd at April 13, 2024 10:27 PM (vFG9F)

104 Wait, you have a finger-eating plant? Is this like the one in Little Shop Of Horrors?
Posted by: Ciampino

Yup. Imported from Cambodia.

Posted by: mikeski at April 13, 2024 10:27 PM (DgGvY)

105 Are you sure it's a Spitfire and not a Hurricane??

Posted by: andycanuck (vtyCZ) at April 13, 2024 10:28 PM (vtyCZ)

106 Diogenes
Will do. Likely tomorrow.

Posted by: Winston, GOPe, McFailure wing of the Uniparty at April 13, 2024 10:29 PM (vAHT7)

107 It was just a question of the date the handyman was coming, but still.
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at April 13, 2024 10:22 PM (MoZTd)
===

I felt a shift in the Force.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at April 13, 2024 10:29 PM (RIvkX)

108 I don't thinker it says Hawker anywhere on it.

Posted by: fd at April 13, 2024 10:29 PM (vFG9F)

109 Diogenes
Will do. Likely tomorrow.
Posted by: Winston, GOPe, McFailure wing of the Uniparty at April 13, 2024 10:29 PM (vAHT7)

I'll keep an eye out for it.

Posted by: Diogenes at April 13, 2024 10:30 PM (W/lyH)

110 Mis.Hum!
Thanks for Buckwheat Zydeco! Wow ...I haven't heard those guys in quite a while...lots of smiles over here😁

Posted by: COMountainMarie at April 13, 2024 10:30 PM (IvaTo)

111 Thousands protest in Niger for US troops to leave

https://tinyurl.com/2evnf8ts

Posted by: Ciampino - C. Itoh #274 at April 13, 2024 10:31 PM (qfLjt)

112 Apple Office Romance

https://tinyurl.com/cbhftvzt

Posted by: Robert at April 13, 2024 10:31 PM (GZplb)

113 I now pre-re-JBweld Dewalt 20v Lithium batteries together before I put then into service as I know I will have to do it anyway. Big old glop of that awesome shit around the seams and the screws of the pack makes them dropable at least more than once before they grenade.

I glued a motorcycle engine back together with that awesome shit once and got 2000 more miles out of it.

A small package of JB weld could one day save your life.
Pretty cheap insurance.
Don't even get me started on bailing wire and Duct Tape.

Posted by: Reforger at April 13, 2024 10:31 PM (B705c)

114 Hadrian
In the very few times this has happened to me, I have always apologized for being right.
Been divorced a few times but never awoke with steak knives in my eyes.

Posted by: Winston, GOPe, McFailure wing of the Uniparty at April 13, 2024 10:32 PM (vAHT7)

115 111 Thousands protest in Niger for US troops to leave

-----------

Wait. Isn't that country officially know as N*ger now?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at April 13, 2024 10:32 PM (bo7UB)

116 Yes, you can use JB Weld to fix a hole in a cylinder block. Also, to fix a chip in a glass cooktop that you yourself did not do but somebody did.

Posted by: fd at April 13, 2024 10:34 PM (vFG9F)

117 South Jersey library apologizes for possibly handing out fake eclipse glasses
Moorestown Library staff warned that the shades bought on Walmart.com appear to have been counterfeits.

The South Jersey Library is reporting a sharp drop in books being checked out. "Ever since the eclipse, it's like people aren't reading anymore." said librarian Flo Letterman.
In other news, South Jersey doctors report a dramatic increase in numbers of people with vision problems.

Posted by: Diogenes at April 13, 2024 10:34 PM (W/lyH)

118 105 Are you sure it's a Spitfire and not a Hurricane??

Posted by: andycanuck (vtyCZ) at April 13, 2024 10:28 PM (vtyCZ)
----
Well it could have been a Hawker Typhoon.

Posted by: Ciampino - C. Itoh #275 at April 13, 2024 10:34 PM (qfLjt)

119 "In other news, South Jersey doctors report a dramatic increase in numbers of people with vision problems.
Posted by: Diogenes"

Were the Experts surprised? Cause I'm not.

Posted by: fd at April 13, 2024 10:36 PM (vFG9F)

120 Well it could have been a Hawker Typhoon.
Posted by: Ciampino - C. Itoh #275 at April 13, 2024 10:34 PM (qfLjt)

-----------

Definitely not a Fairey Swordfish.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at April 13, 2024 10:36 PM (bo7UB)

121 Don't even get me started on bailing wire and Duct Tape.

My granddad was a farmer and had more uses for bailing wire than I could ever imagine. I'd swear he'd buy a brand new tool , bring it home, and wrap it somewhere with bailing wire.

Posted by: Oddbob at April 13, 2024 10:36 PM (/y8xj)

122 120 Well it could have been a Hawker Typhoon.
Posted by: Ciampino - C. Itoh #275 at April 13, 2024 10:34 PM (qfLjt)

-----------

Definitely not a Fairey Swordfish.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at April 13, 2024 10:36 PM (bo7UB)

Or a mudshark.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian Who Lives In The Thawed Out Tundra at April 13, 2024 10:37 PM (8aThB)

123 "Details to follow" again. I'm starting to think you guys don't want me around--

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at April 13, 2024 10:37 PM (CHHv1)

124 As an adjacent story to the size of members, here is an insightful article on the size of women’s derrières ‘round the world:
https://tinyurl.com/mr3yxez4
Posted by: Piper

I was wondering how Japan came in 15th, and Brazil didn't make the list, but they only looked at 17 countries total, excluding Brazil. So it checks out.

And I should read the boring article text before I look at the colorful charts and graphs. And other pictures.

Posted by: mikeski at April 13, 2024 10:37 PM (DgGvY)

125
Evening, all.

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at April 13, 2024 10:39 PM (lCaJd)

126 Before there were zip ties, there was bailing wire. Wire is infinity better though. Stuff wrapped up with bailing wire can last centuries. Zip ties maybe 2 years.

Posted by: fd at April 13, 2024 10:39 PM (vFG9F)

127 Space Force is still headquartered at 6035' elevation. It takes some time to get acclimated.

If they'd go ahead and move to Huntsville they might be able to catch their breath.

Posted by: Way, Way Downriver at April 13, 2024 10:39 PM (zdLoL)

128 The world will come to an end soon. Her Majesty spoke the following words, "You were right. I was wrong."

It was just a question of the date the handyman was coming, but still.
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at April 13, 2024 10:22 PM (MoZTd)

The Paolo he, how you say, prefers you make a
reservation.

Posted by: The Paolo at April 13, 2024 10:41 PM (W/lyH)

129 In unprecedented attack, Iran fires 200 missiles, drones * Sirens and booms nationwide as IAF intercepts almost all missiles * US, UK, Jordan help stop drones * UNSC to meet * Israel weighs response

2min ago
US telegraphs lack of trust in Israel to respond strategically

_timesofIsrael

Posted by: Braenyard at April 13, 2024 10:41 PM (IeGFg)

130 111 Thousands protest in Niger for US troops to leave

https://tinyurl.com/2evnf8ts
Posted by: Ciampino

YOU SAID THE WORD!!!! REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Posted by: MSNBC at April 13, 2024 10:42 PM (wrXPz)

131 Space Force is still headquartered at 6035' elevation. It takes some time to get acclimated.
Posted by: Way, Way Downriver

That's less than 2% of the way to space. Wait until they have to work on-site.

Posted by: mikeski can't hear you scream at April 13, 2024 10:43 PM (DgGvY)

132 FLASHBACK: Joe Biden claimed that if Trump were to be re-elected, he would "get us to war in Iran"

https://twitter.com/TPostMillennial/status/
1779241454034112570

Posted by: Don Black at April 13, 2024 10:43 PM (oCjPU)

133 70 Speaking of "fast" cars, I bought a 65 Spitfire today. Why? I dunno.
Posted by: fd at April 13, 2024 10:15 PM (vFG9F)

You really like the 60s british electrical systems? Maybe want to do some brake adjustin'?

Posted by: Aetius451AD at April 13, 2024 10:16 PM (di6C2)
----
You're not making fun of Lucas are you?

Posted by: Ciampino - Does it leak oil? at April 13, 2024 10:43 PM (qfLjt)

134 @102

>>" You voted for this shit!"

Remember, no matter how much an area is controlled by democrats, everything is always the fault of Spectral Republicans in Unseen Realms.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at April 13, 2024 10:44 PM (XV/Pl)

135 US telegraphs lack of trust in Israel to respond strategically
-
In other words, Israel should ignore the attacks by Iran the same way that the Biden regime ignored Iran's attacks on US servicemen.

Posted by: Methos at April 13, 2024 10:44 PM (Dnobf)

136 US telegraphs lack of trust in Israel to respond strategically

_timesofIsrael
Posted by: Braenyard

Oh FS!

Posted by: Some Rat at April 13, 2024 10:45 PM (vJiyU)

137 "Israel Seizes Opportunity to Pounce on Islamic Republic"
-NYT tomorrow

Posted by: San Franpsycho at April 13, 2024 10:45 PM (RIvkX)

138 US sends amphibious warship USS Bataan and support vessels with 2,500 Marines into the Eastern Mediterranean and places military bases in Iraq on full alert as Iran attacks Israel

Posted by: Don Black at April 13, 2024 10:46 PM (oCjPU)

139 Don Giovanni is much more enjoyable to listen to than Das Rheingold.

Posted by: Braenyard at April 13, 2024 10:46 PM (IeGFg)

140 >>>Thousands protest in Niger for US troops to leave

We’re only making plans…for Niger!

Posted by: Xi The Communist at April 13, 2024 10:46 PM (5h/8D)

141 Those with Middle East War on their Joe Biden bingo card should step forward to the cashier's cage and collect their winnings.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at April 13, 2024 10:46 PM (bo7UB)

142 72 Breitbart: Six Killed, Multiple Injured in Sydney Shopping Mall Stabbing Attack, Suspect Shot Dead

https://tinyurl.com/5afkccxp

No word on whether the knife was semi or full auto.

Posted by: Robert at April 13, 2024 10:17 PM (GZplb)
----
Did it have the thing that goes up?
Also was there an attachment point for a bayonet?

Posted by: Ciampino - Removed the bazooka mount point at April 13, 2024 10:46 PM (qfLjt)

143 everything is always the fault of Spectral Republicans in Unseen Realms.
Posted by: Thomas Bender at April 13, 2024 10:44 PM (XV/Pl)

Almost like poetry!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar (hOUT3) ~ This year in Corsicana - again! ~ at April 13, 2024 10:46 PM (hOUT3)

144 Oh FS!
Posted by: Some Rat

Shit, forgot a F...

Posted by: Some Rat at April 13, 2024 10:46 PM (vJiyU)

145 Israel does not have much in the way of strategic capability, so there's that

Posted by: N at April 13, 2024 10:46 PM (RjBju)

146 https://tinyurl.com/5acw54r7

The eclipse might have had...weird effects.

Posted by: Robert at April 13, 2024 10:47 PM (GZplb)

147 US sends amphibious warship USS Bataan and support vessels with 2,500 Marines into the Eastern Mediterranean and places military bases in Iraq on full alert as Iran attacks Israel
Posted by: Don Black

Strongly worded letters are being composed as we speak.

Posted by: Some Rat at April 13, 2024 10:47 PM (vJiyU)

148 Israel Seizes Opportunity to Pounce on Islamic Republic"
-NYT tomorrow
Posted by: San

They bombed another embassy?

Posted by: N at April 13, 2024 10:48 PM (RjBju)

149 Bailing-Wire-Fu is a lost Martial Art.

Duct Tape U is a school known by few.

There is no science, teachers or rules.

The only question is did you make it home alive.

Posted by: Reforger at April 13, 2024 10:49 PM (B705c)

150 US telegraphs lack of trust in Israel to respond strategically

_timesofIsrael
Posted by: Braenyard

Meanwhile the Israeli government wonders if anyone in DC would understand the difference between a strategic response and a regional-tactical response?

Posted by: Diogenes at April 13, 2024 10:49 PM (W/lyH)

151 138 US sends amphibious warship USS Bataan and support vessels with 2,500 Marines into the Eastern Mediterranean and places military bases in Iraq on full alert as Iran attacks Israel

Posted by: Don Black
---------------------

They ought to go take bake that Israeli ship the Iranian seized around Hormuz.

Posted by: Braenyard at April 13, 2024 10:49 PM (IeGFg)

152 In other news, bitcoin is making moves

Posted by: N at April 13, 2024 10:50 PM (RjBju)

153 70 Posted by: fd at April 13, 2024 10:15 PM (vFG9F)

You really like the 60s british electrical systems? Maybe want to do some brake adjustin'?
Posted by: Aetius451AD at April 13, 2024 10:16 PM (di6C2)

Had a friend who was into early mini-Coopers and who referred to it as the 'Lucas Prince of Darkness' electrical system......

Posted by: Anonymous Rogue in Kalifornistan (ARiK) at April 13, 2024 10:50 PM (QGaXH)

154 144 Oh FS!
Posted by: Some Rat

Shit, forgot a F...
Posted by: Some Rat at April 13, 2024 10:46 PM (vJiyU)

CRS

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian Who Lives In The Thawed Out Tundra at April 13, 2024 10:51 PM (8aThB)

155 Strongly worded letters are being composed as we speak.
Posted by: Some Rat at April 13, 2024 10:47 PM (vJiyU)

Yo Rat, I seem to recall that the US has not won a war ever since the Department of WAR was renamed the Department of DEFENSE!

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar (hOUT3) ~ This year in Corsicana - again! ~ at April 13, 2024 10:52 PM (hOUT3)

156 US sends amphibious warship USS Bataan and support vessels with 2,500 Marines into the Eastern Mediterranean and places military bases in Iraq on full alert as Iran attacks Israel
Posted by: Don Black

Strongly worded letters are being composed as we speak.
Posted by: Some Rat at April 13, 2024 10:47 PM (vJiyU)

Is 2500 Marines enough to compose a letter? Do they have enough crayons?

Posted by: Diogenes at April 13, 2024 10:52 PM (W/lyH)

157 They bombed another embassy?

===
Are they taking suggestions?

Posted by: San Franpsycho at April 13, 2024 10:52 PM (RIvkX)

158 US sends amphibious warship USS Bataan and support vessels with 2,500 Marines into the Eastern Mediterranean and places military bases in Iraq on full alert as Iran attacks Israel
-
Does that include the Gaza pier?

Posted by: Methos at April 13, 2024 10:54 PM (Dnobf)

159 I did wonder about this. How could you independently check the quality of your glasses? Seems pretty easy to wrap a cardboard frame around some dark film.
Posted by: TRex

There was a page on astronomy.com that listed sites that were selling glasses that met the standard.

Posted by: vmom stabby stabby stabby stabby stabamillion at April 13, 2024 10:54 PM (Ka3bZ)

160 Stolen from the internet.

What does a nonbinary person eat?

Ze/zir salad.

Posted by: Robert at April 13, 2024 10:54 PM (GZplb)

161 I was wondering how Japan came in 15th, and Brazil didn't make the list, but they only looked at 17 countries total, excluding Brazil. So it checks out.

And I should read the boring article text before I look at the colorful charts and graphs. And other pictures.
Posted by: mikeski at April 13, 2024 10:37

There are flaws in the science. They are basing it on hip circumference, which could mean wide and flat or rounded and narrow.

Posted by: Piper at April 13, 2024 10:54 PM (ZdaMQ)

162 UNHAPPY MEAL McDonald’s fans blast chain after new $25 meal goes viral – and customers call it the ‘going broke meal’

It is a sign of how poorly educated people in the blue shitholes are that they don't understand massively increasing labor costs will in turn massively increase the costs of whatever that labor is used to make...

Posted by: 18-1 at April 13, 2024 10:56 PM (ibTVg)

163 I seem to recall that the US has not won a war ever since the Department of WAR was renamed the Department of DEFENSE!
Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar (hOUT3) ~ This year in Corsicana - again! ~

As the Former Marine BiL put it: "We'll never win another war till let us."
Bush Sr. (Paraphrasing) "We defeated their army, no need to humiliate them."

Posted by: Some Rat at April 13, 2024 10:57 PM (vJiyU)

164 Wallet size > Penis size

Suck it $2000 a year average salary Ecuador .

Posted by: polynikes at April 13, 2024 10:57 PM (MNhXM)

165 There are flaws in the science. They are basing it on hip circumference, which could mean wide and flat or rounded and narrow.
Posted by: Piper

Perhaps I should go into biological research after I retire from my current gig.

I'd credit you on my research papers, of course.

Posted by: mikeski at April 13, 2024 10:57 PM (DgGvY)

166 "The UK and US are not even in the 50 countries for the biggest penis size"

My burning question is, where does Ukraine fall on this list? We're spending so much money there, we should know everything.

Posted by: Miley, okravangelist at April 13, 2024 10:57 PM (w6EFb)

167 156 US sends amphibious warship USS Bataan and support vessels with 2,500 Marines into the Eastern Mediterranean and places military bases in Iraq on full alert as Iran attacks Israel
Posted by: Don Black

Strongly worded letters are being composed as we speak.
Posted by: Some Rat at April 13, 2024 10:47 PM (vJiyU)

Is 2500 Marines enough to compose a letter? Do they have enough crayons?
Posted by: Diogenes at April 13, 2024 10:52 PM (W/lyH)

And that's when the bar fight broke out officer.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian Who Lives In The Thawed Out Tundra at April 13, 2024 10:58 PM (8aThB)

168 Is 2500 Marines enough to compose a letter? Do they have enough crayons?
Posted by: Diogenes

Cold man, very cold...(smiley face icon here)

Posted by: Some Rat at April 13, 2024 10:58 PM (vJiyU)

169 Speaking of Japan, the Dodgers are in S.Korea and this, I thought she was Japanese, through out the first pitch - over the plate.
Good form.

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/lF-Z2ySuXkQ

Posted by: Braenyard at April 13, 2024 10:59 PM (IeGFg)

170 153
Had a friend who was into early mini-Coopers and who referred to it as the 'Lucas Prince of Darkness' electrical system......
Posted by: Anonymous Rogue in Kalifornistan (ARiK) at April

I have a brand new JCW Mini Cooper. They went from good to really bad to pretty good again. They are now basically BMWs in a smaller package. Mine is very, very speedy and makes cool speedy car sounds. It’s waisted on me, really. But it’s so cute with the top down!

Posted by: Piper at April 13, 2024 10:59 PM (ZdaMQ)

171 It is a sign of how poorly educated people in the blue shitholes are that they don't understand massively increasing labor costs will in turn massively increase the costs of whatever that labor is used to make...
Posted by: 18-1 at April 13, 2024 10:56 PM (ibTVg)

------------

ASK ME ABOUT THE INSANITY OF UNIVERSAL SUFFRAGE

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at April 13, 2024 10:59 PM (bo7UB)

172 You're not making fun of Lucas are you?
Posted by: Ciampino - Does it leak oil? at April 13, 2024 10:43 PM (qfLjt)

*taps the computer tower*

Sorry, the case lights went out.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at April 13, 2024 11:00 PM (di6C2)

173 10 more workdays to retirement

Posted by: Anonymous Rogue in Kalifornistan (ARiK) at April 13, 2024 09:52 PM (QGaXH)

I fucking LOVE not having to go to work.

Posted by: Miley, okravangelist at April 13, 2024 11:00 PM (w6EFb)

174 The rankings BS anyway. No way Canada and the US have that big a Delta. Did they just survey Cambodian-Americans?

Posted by: polynikes at April 13, 2024 11:00 PM (MNhXM)

175 170. Wasted. Sheesh.

Anyway. It is cute, it’s Rebel Green with Malt town Chesterfield leather interior and the iconic trim, so just a few pops of red.

I have learned Mini owners are a cult, however.

Posted by: Piper at April 13, 2024 11:01 PM (ZdaMQ)

176 It is a sign of how poorly educated people in the blue shitholes are that they don't understand massively increasing labor costs will in turn massively increase the costs of whatever that labor is used to make...
Posted by: 18-1 at April 13, 2024 10:56 PM (ibTVg)
====
There are so many people who are illiterate in their native language let alone innumerate, so easily bamboozled.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at April 13, 2024 11:01 PM (RIvkX)

177 Is 2500 Marines enough to compose a letter? Do they have enough crayons?
Posted by: Diogenes

Hah - like any self-respecting Marine Devil Dog would have any un-eaten crayons!

Posted by: John Drake at April 13, 2024 11:02 PM (WqOsh)

178 Oh Ukraine penises? Well the boys are about the same as any other Eastern European boys really.

Posted by: One of your elites involved in "aide" to Ukraine at April 13, 2024 11:02 PM (ibTVg)

179 165 There are flaws in the science. They are basing it on hip circumference, which could mean wide and flat or rounded and narrow.
Posted by: Piper
==========

I prefer square hips with fare buttocks.
More Nordic less Italian.

Posted by: Braenyard at April 13, 2024 11:02 PM (IeGFg)

180 163 I seem to recall that the US has not won a war ever since the Department of WAR was renamed the Department of DEFENSE!
Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar (hOUT3) ~ This year in Corsicana - again! ~

As the Former Marine BiL put it: "We'll never win another war till let us."
Bush Sr. (Paraphrasing) "We defeated their army, no need to humiliate them."
Posted by: Some Rat at April 13, 2024 10:57 PM (vJiyU)

One of the best project managers I ever knew said

"The Bureaucracy* will ensure there will never be another GEN Patton!"

*this was before the Deep State phrase became common

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar (hOUT3) ~ This year in Corsicana - again! ~ at April 13, 2024 11:02 PM (hOUT3)

181 They ran a number of experiments in various blue shitholes with raising the minimum wage and in each and every case it raised the costs those people paid higher then their increases in salary.

Posted by: 18-1 at April 13, 2024 11:03 PM (ibTVg)

182 That last mystery click: I'm going to make a bold statement for which I will most likely be roasted. The most inclusive music around is zydeco. Zydeco gets everybody's toes tappin', at least. Where there's zydeco, there's a party and usually good eats. What's not to like?
Posted by: RickZ at April 13, 2024 10:12 PM (emlEe)

I would not dispute that for one second.

Ain't no party like a Chubby (Carriere) Party.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at April 13, 2024 11:04 PM (tkR6S)

183 10 more workdays to retirement

Posted by: Anonymous Rogue in Kalifornistan (ARiK) at April 13, 2024 09:52 PM (QGaXH)

I fucking LOVE not having to go to work.
Posted by: Miley, okravangelist

Guessing most Horde members will work harder and longer once retired. (but on fun stuff!)

Posted by: Some Rat at April 13, 2024 11:04 PM (vJiyU)

184
How does someone get the time and opportunity to stab, not shoot, six people to death?

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at April 13, 2024 11:04 PM (MoZTd)

185 178 Oh Ukraine penises? Well the boys are about the same as any other Eastern European boys really.
Posted by: One of your elites involved in "aide" to Ukraine at April 13, 2024 11:02 PM (ibTVg)

An odd proportion of camgirls and porn stars seem to be Ukrainian.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at April 13, 2024 11:05 PM (di6C2)

186 I feel like our surfeit of girl penises my be driving down the average.

Posted by: Bilwis Devourer of Innocent Souls, I'm starvin' over here at April 13, 2024 11:05 PM (z+89e)

187 "I have learned Mini owners are a cult, however.
Posted by: Piper"

You need a high priest to change the spark plugs. Preferably one with an engine hoist.

Posted by: fd at April 13, 2024 11:05 PM (vFG9F)

188
An odd proportion of camgirls and porn stars seem to be Ukrainian

Sex trafficking capital of the world...

Posted by: 18-1 at April 13, 2024 11:06 PM (ibTVg)

189 Fortunately, the spark plugs are designed to last the life of the engine.

Posted by: fd at April 13, 2024 11:06 PM (vFG9F)

190 Guessing most Horde members will work harder and longer once retired. (but on fun stuff!)
Posted by: Some Rat at April 13, 2024 11:04 PM (vJiyU)

Only when Mrs D isn't around.

Posted by: Diogenes at April 13, 2024 11:06 PM (W/lyH)

191 179 165 There are flaws in the science. They are basing it on hip circumference, which could mean wide and flat or rounded and narrow.
Posted by: Piper
==========

I prefer square hips with fare buttocks.
More Nordic less Italian.
Posted by: Braenyard at April 13, 2024 11:02 PM (IeGFg)

I like firm and shapely. Toned. The big ass guys seem to like... pillowy.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at April 13, 2024 11:07 PM (di6C2)

192 The most inclusive music around is zydeco. Zydeco gets everybody's toes tappin', at least. Where there's zydeco, there's a party and usually good eats. What's not to like?

Posted by: RickZ at April 13, 2024 10:12 PM (emlEe)

Back in the day, we didn't call it "inclusive." We said everybody likes it.

And they do.

Posted by: Miley, okravangelist at April 13, 2024 11:08 PM (w6EFb)

193 “The UK and US are not even in the 50 countries for the biggest penis size"

Metric or Imperial measure? Circumcised or no-personality?

Posted by: Elaine at April 13, 2024 11:08 PM (5h/8D)

194 How does someone get the time and opportunity to stab, not shoot, six people to death?
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at April 13, 2024 11:04 PM (MoZTd)

-----------

Pacing.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at April 13, 2024 11:08 PM (bo7UB)

195 187 "I have learned Mini owners are a cult, however.
Posted by: Piper"

You need a high priest to change the spark plugs. Preferably one with an engine hoist.
Posted by: fd at April 13, 2024 11:05 PM (vFG9F)

Easiest car I EVER have seen to change spark plugs? The Miata.

The oil was a completely different story. The worst and most difficult to change the filter. (I have owned at least.)

Posted by: Aetius451AD at April 13, 2024 11:08 PM (di6C2)

196 174 The rankings BS anyway. No way Canada and the US have that big a Delta. Did they just survey Cambodian-Americans?
Posted by: polynikes

Communists. That covers both sides of the border.

Posted by: Lost in Space at April 13, 2024 11:09 PM (SCTX4)

197 How does someone get the time and opportunity to stab, not shoot, six people to death?

That's trademarked I'm afraid but I will mention horny teens are pretty oblivious to anything outside of each other...

Posted by: Jason Vorhees at April 13, 2024 11:10 PM (ibTVg)

198 190 Guessing most Horde members will work harder and longer once retired. (but on fun stuff!)
Posted by: Some Rat at April 13, 2024 11:04 PM (vJiyU)

Only when Mrs D isn't around.
Posted by: Diogenes at April 13, 2024 11:06 PM (W/lyH)

That's a shame. The Fabulous and I are enjoying our time together. Then again it's only been 3+ months of retirement for us.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian Who Lives In The Thawed Out Tundra at April 13, 2024 11:10 PM (8aThB)

199 One of the best project managers I ever knew said

"The Bureaucracy* will ensure there will never be another GEN Patton!"

*this was before the Deep State phrase became common
Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar (hOUT3) ~ This year in Corsicana - again! ~ at April 13, 2024 11:02 PM (hOUT3)
***

Have heard that many times. But not sure I completely agree. Pattons we can find, but they will never let another MacArthur develop.

Posted by: Diogenes at April 13, 2024 11:10 PM (W/lyH)

200 >>Breitbart: Six Killed, Multiple Injured in Sydney Shopping Mall Stabbing Attack, Suspect Shot Dead

OJ's got an alibi.

Posted by: Miley, okravangelist at April 13, 2024 11:11 PM (w6EFb)

201 101 As an adjacent story to the size of members, here is an insightful article on the size of women’s derrières ‘round the world:
https://tinyurl.com/mr3yxez4

Posted by: Piper at April 13, 2024 10:27 PM (ZdaMQ)
----
Somebody wasn't paying attention in Arithmetic Class. 40.2" is not rank #6 and Canada is not #11.
Try again Sport.

Posted by: Ciampino - ranked by idiotic hand? at April 13, 2024 11:11 PM (qfLjt)

202 Minis are blast to drive. I always wanted an original one with those little 12" wheels.

Posted by: fd at April 13, 2024 11:11 PM (vFG9F)

203 That's a shame. The Fabulous and I are enjoying our time together. Then again it's only been 3+ months of retirement for us.
Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian Who Lives In The Thawed Out Tundra at April 13, 2024 11:10 PM (8aThB)

You crazy kids!

Posted by: Diogenes at April 13, 2024 11:11 PM (W/lyH)

204 189 Fortunately, the spark plugs are designed to last the life of the engine.

Posted by: fd at April 13, 2024 11:06 PM (vFG9F)

So... what? 40,000 miles?

Posted by: Reforger at April 13, 2024 11:11 PM (B705c)

205 Have heard that many times. But not sure I completely agree. Pattons we can find, but they will never let another MacArthur develop.
Posted by: Diogenes at April 13, 2024 11:10 PM (W/lyH)

We may find the Pattons, but we'll just ensure that they NEVER advance beyond MAJ.

Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar (hOUT3) ~ This year in Corsicana - again! ~ at April 13, 2024 11:13 PM (hOUT3)

206 Fernandez quotes Melville in commenting, on X, the doings abroad over the sands of araby.

"To the last, I grapple with thee; from hell’s heart, I stab at thee; for hate’s sake, I spit my last breath at thee."

Ahab wrapped on the whale with the harpoon lines.

Wretched says there's no off ramp. I'm buying more ammo tomorrow. The gun range store is open for biz.

Posted by: Mr Gaga at April 13, 2024 11:13 PM (KiBMU)

207 Have heard that many times. But not sure I completely agree. Pattons we can find, but they will never let another MacArthur develop.
Posted by: Diogenes at April 13, 2024 11:10 PM (W/lyH)

I’ll settle for a Leslie Groves which I’m afraid we probably have none at the moment.

American Caesar is my favorite biography.

Posted by: polynikes at April 13, 2024 11:13 PM (MNhXM)

208 187
You need a high priest to change the spark plugs. Preferably one with an engine hoist.
Posted by: fd at April 13, 2024

The first 3 years of service are covered by Mini, to include oil changes, and it has a 5 year warranty, or 50,000 miles, which I won’t hit in 5 years. We have put 300 miles on it in 2 months, and that includes the drive home from the dealership in Pensacola and the joy riding J keeps doing in it even though it’s supposed to be my car.

He told me he would buy me a golf cart because work is 4 miles away when I told him I really needed a new car. He now calls my car the world’s most expensive golf cart. 😂

Posted by: Piper at April 13, 2024 11:14 PM (ZdaMQ)

209 Minis are blast to drive. I always wanted an original one with those little 12" wheels.
Posted by: fd

A high school friend had one. Delightfully terrifying covers it.

Posted by: Lost in Space at April 13, 2024 11:15 PM (SCTX4)

210 115 111 Thousands protest in Niger for US troops to leave

-----------

Wait. Isn't that country officially know as N*ger now?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at April 13, 2024 10:32 PM (bo7UB)
----
That's the place I keep asking what are the natives called, since Nigerian is already taken.

Posted by: Ciampino - can you say it? at April 13, 2024 11:15 PM (qfLjt)

211 How does someone get the time and opportunity to stab, not shoot, six people to death?

Look around next time you are in a mall or even any crowd anywhere. Look to see how unobservant people are. As long as you are not running crazy through the crowd, or screaming and yelling, you can stalk targets pretty easily.

Posted by: Diogenes at April 13, 2024 11:15 PM (W/lyH)

212 I tilled the garden today. It was a tad bit wet, and it rained on me as I was getting to the end, but the garden is now tilled.

I know where the corn and potatoes are going, and I have a good idea on where the tomatoes need to go, so the rest of it will be filled as I can get the plants.

Posted by: Kindltot at April 13, 2024 11:16 PM (D7oie)

213 Mis.Hum!
Thanks for Buckwheat Zydeco! Wow ...I haven't heard those guys in quite a while...lots of smiles over here😁
Posted by: COMountainMarie at April 13, 2024 10:30 PM (IvaTo)

Ditto from me! Buckwheat used to play the King Eddy Hotel in Calgary back in the day. Always drew a crowd. And a real pleasant guy to meet, too.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at April 13, 2024 11:16 PM (tkR6S)

214 "Someone from Niger is called Nigerien, not to be confused with Nigerians from Nigeria."

This is just...dumb. But I would love to ask 100 woke celebrities on live TV what they would call someone from Niger...

Posted by: 18-1 at April 13, 2024 11:17 PM (ibTVg)

215 Help, MisHum. I'm trapped in a restaurant waiting for pizza. It's been two hours.

Posted by: OrangeEnt at April 13, 2024 11:17 PM (pyTxT)

216 180 163 I seem to recall that the US has not won a war ever since the Department of WAR was renamed the Department of DEFENSE!
Posted by: Commissar Hrothgar (hOUT3)
---------------------

Didn't they take the arrows out of the Eagles claws?

Posted by: Braenyard at April 13, 2024 11:17 PM (IeGFg)

217 Growing up in South Louisiana I got to experience a lot of live Zydeco.

Posted by: polynikes at April 13, 2024 11:18 PM (MNhXM)

218 215 Help, MisHum. I'm trapped in a restaurant waiting for pizza. It's been two hours.
Posted by: OrangeEnt at April 13, 2024 11:17 PM (pyTxT)

You have not paid?

White Castle beckons...

Posted by: Aetius451AD at April 13, 2024 11:18 PM (di6C2)

219 I like firm and shapely. Toned. The big ass guys seem to like... pillowy.
Posted by: Aetius451AD

Today's word is "callipygian."

Posted by: it can be tomorrow's word, too at April 13, 2024 11:18 PM (DgGvY)

220 215 Help, MisHum. I'm trapped in a restaurant waiting for pizza. It's been two hours.
Posted by: OrangeEnt at April 13, 2024 11:17 PM (pyTxT)

Take a deep breath, slowly get up and walk away. Do not make eye contact.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian Who Lives In The Thawed Out Tundra at April 13, 2024 11:19 PM (8aThB)

221 Didn't they take the arrows out of the Eagles claws?
Posted by: Braenyard at April 13, 2024 11:17 PM (IeGFg)

https://tinyurl.com/yc33n6wr

Posted by: Aetius451AD at April 13, 2024 11:19 PM (di6C2)

222 Nigercan.

Posted by: polynikes at April 13, 2024 11:19 PM (MNhXM)

223 Ms G and I blew some benjamins tonight celebrating the completion and filing of our 2023 return.

I began with an old fashioned made with Koval rye, cane syrup, bitters, and some absinthe, then had a wagyu filet, medium rare. She had her fave, a pork chop, some tender sweet grilled brussels sprouts as a side.

Posted by: Mr Gaga at April 13, 2024 11:20 PM (KiBMU)

224 "Near"

At least that is what I heard.

Posted by: Kindltot at April 13, 2024 11:20 PM (D7oie)

225 Average penis sizes around the world revealed in interactive map.

Believing nothing until I see &/or have the data in my hands. Ha!

Posted by: L - If they do it with you, they'll do it to you too at April 13, 2024 11:21 PM (NFX2v)

226 began with an old fashioned made with Koval rye, cane syrup, bitters, and some absinthe, then had a wagyu filet, medium rare. She had her fave, a pork chop, some tender sweet grilled brussels sprouts as a side.
Posted by: Mr Gaga at April 13, 2024 11:20 PM (KiBMU)

Local restaurant?

Posted by: polynikes at April 13, 2024 11:21 PM (MNhXM)

227 That's the place I keep asking what are the natives called, since Nigerian is already taken. Posted by: Ciampino - can you say it? at April 13, 2024 11:15 PM (qfLjt)

I know you're joking, but the answer irl is actually Nigerien. It's a Francophone country.

Posted by: Caesar North of the Rubicon at April 13, 2024 11:21 PM (r5tfK)

228 How does someone get the time and opportunity to stab, not shoot, six people to death?
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at April 13, 2024 11:04 PM (MoZTd)

-----------

Pacing.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at April 13, 2024 11:08 PM (bo7UB)

And CUUUUU-uuuuuut!

Posted by: Alec Baldwin, Director at April 13, 2024 11:21 PM (emlEe)

229 American Caesar is my favorite biography.
Posted by: polynikes

One of mine and makes one think, MacArthur had and HAS, enemies in high places.

Posted by: Some Rat at April 13, 2024 11:21 PM (vJiyU)

230 "Take a deep breath, slowly get up and walk away. Do not make eye contact.
Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian"

Then go get another pizza and bring it back to the first restaurant and sit down and eat it.

Posted by: fd at April 13, 2024 11:21 PM (vFG9F)

231 I have learned Mini owners are a cult, however.
Posted by: Piper at April 13, 2024 11:01 PM (ZdaMQ)

You can get a bumper sticker for real Minis that reads: "Contains no BMW parts".

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at April 13, 2024 11:22 PM (tkR6S)

232 @Braenyard, there's something about which way the eagle's head faces. It's usually toward the olive branch, but there are some times/places it faces toward the arrows. I can't remember the exact symbology.

Posted by: Caesar North of the Rubicon at April 13, 2024 11:23 PM (r5tfK)

233 Huh. No ewetub suggested videos on Iran attacking Israel.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at April 13, 2024 11:23 PM (di6C2)

234 If it's one of those restaurants with cauliflower crust they probably had to go out and gather some cauliflower to smash up to make the crust for your 🍕.

Posted by: fd at April 13, 2024 11:24 PM (vFG9F)

235 began with an old fashioned made with Koval rye, cane syrup, bitters, and some absinthe, then had a wagyu filet, medium rare. She had her fave, a pork chop, some tender sweet grilled brussels sprouts as a side.
Posted by: Mr Gaga at April 13, 2024 11:20 PM (KiBMU

Sounds great!
Now pair that meal up with a slightly chilled Pinot Noir from Oregon and enjoy!

Posted by: Diogenes at April 13, 2024 11:24 PM (W/lyH)

236 American Caesar is my favorite biography.
Posted by: polynikes

One of mine and makes one think, MacArthur had and HAS, enemies in high places.
Posted by: Some Rat at April 13, 2024 11:21 PM (vJiyU)

And William Manchester was not a fan so you know the bio was not biased in MacArthur’s favor.

Posted by: polynikes at April 13, 2024 11:24 PM (MNhXM)

237
Bush Sr. (Paraphrasing) "We defeated their army, no need to humiliate them."
Posted by: Some Rat

=============

You sure he didn't say that the other way around?

Posted by: Blonde Morticia at April 13, 2024 11:25 PM (lCaJd)

238 We was all proud of Presdent Biden today, so proud for ending that war in Isral today. If Trump was Presdent israel wood has been destroyed .............

Posted by: Mary Clogginstein from Brattleboro, Vt at April 13, 2024 11:25 PM (Mig/N)

239 Mary, will you marry me?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at April 13, 2024 11:26 PM (bo7UB)

240 231

You can get a bumper sticker for real Minis that reads: "Contains no BMW parts".
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at April 13, 2024 11:22 PM (tkR6S)

Ha! But those were the years Minis had a reliability of scary. I mean I get it’s now a German car pretending to be an English car, but they are really safe and reliable now. Still expensive to fix should something go wrong, but it’s not as frequent as before. But wow do people spend time customizing them with bonnet strips and all kinds of things. I will keep mine clean. The mirror caps and Union Jack light covers are enough.

Posted by: Piper at April 13, 2024 11:27 PM (ZdaMQ)

241 AOP, I saw a 1928 Packard today. 22" wheels on that thing. It has a Chevy straight 6 in it. The guy said Packard cultists hate him.

Posted by: fd at April 13, 2024 11:27 PM (vFG9F)

242 I have learned Mini owners are a cult, however.
Posted by: Piper at April 13, 2024 11:01 PM (ZdaMQ)

You can get a bumper sticker for real Minis that reads: "Contains no BMW parts".
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at April 13, 2024 11:22 PM (tkR6S)

Here in central OH, Jeep owners are totally operating a cult. They keep arrays of multicolored rubber duckies and other bathtub toys on their dashboards. They arrange them in ways that communicates messages - but only to other cult members. I've been working on cracking the code, but with only moderate success.

Posted by: ghost of hallelujah at April 13, 2024 11:27 PM (sJHOI)

243 Then go get another pizza and bring it back to the first restaurant and sit down and eat it.
Posted by: fd at April 13, 2024 11:21 PM (vFG9F)

Oh dang!!! Major burn. The stuff you learn here!
I'd of never thought of that. You can bet I will do that in the future!!!

Posted by: Diogenes at April 13, 2024 11:28 PM (W/lyH)

244 I hope Orange Ent has gotten food by now

Posted by: vmom stabby stabby stabby stabby stabamillion at April 13, 2024 11:28 PM (Ka3bZ)

245 @ghost, I know they give "the sign" to each other when they pass on the road.

Posted by: Caesar North of the Rubicon at April 13, 2024 11:29 PM (r5tfK)

246 You sure he didn't say that the other way around?
Posted by: Blonde Morticia

"I can be in Berlin in a goddam week!
"Sorry George, Berlin is reserved for the russians."

Posted by: Some Rat at April 13, 2024 11:30 PM (vJiyU)

247 @ghost, I know they give "the sign" to each other when they pass on the road.
Posted by: Caesar North of the Rubicon at April 13, 2024 11:29 PM (r5tfK)

I’m a Jeep owner. I pretend I don’t see the head nod .

Posted by: polynikes at April 13, 2024 11:30 PM (MNhXM)

248 241 AOP, I saw a 1928 Packard today. 22" wheels on that thing. It has a Chevy straight 6 in it. The guy said Packard cultists hate him.
Posted by: fd at April 13, 2024 11:27 PM (vFG9F)

https://tinyurl.com/nhsf367e

It would be like... seeing Hillary Clinton in a pair of leggings with 'Juicy' written on the ass.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at April 13, 2024 11:30 PM (di6C2)

249 I am off to bed, J left for Sofia today, (work) so it’s just me and the kitties in a king size bed! They already took his side. Good night!

Posted by: Piper at April 13, 2024 11:31 PM (ZdaMQ)

250 A 3rd grader's essay about Internet safety.

https://tinyurl.com/5n8hfsy4

Posted by: Lost in Space at April 13, 2024 11:31 PM (SCTX4)

251 @242

>>They keep arrays of multicolored rubber duckies and other bathtub toys on their dashboards. They arrange them in ways that communicates messages

That's a completely new thing and is only undertaken by the criminally insane.

Posted by: Thomas Bender at April 13, 2024 11:31 PM (XV/Pl)

252 Ha! But those were the years Minis had a reliability of scary. I mean I get it’s now a German car pretending to be an English car, but they are really safe and reliable now. Still expensive to fix should something go wrong, but it’s not as frequent as before. But wow do people spend time customizing them with bonnet strips and all kinds of things. I will keep mine clean. The mirror caps and Union Jack light covers are enough.
Posted by: Piper at April 13, 2024 11:27 PM (ZdaMQ)

Minis were as reliable as any other import car of the 1960's. Maybe even more so. And they were so simply constructed, they were dead easy to work on. The BMW "minis" are bloated counterfeits.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at April 13, 2024 11:32 PM (tkR6S)

253 150 US telegraphs lack of trust in Israel to respond strategically

_timesofIsrael
Posted by: Braenyard

Does this mean FJB called Netanyahu and said, "Don't."?

Posted by: Gref at April 13, 2024 11:32 PM (5fDan)

254 >>>> Look around next time you are in a mall or even any crowd anywhere. Look to see how unobservant people are. As long as you are not running crazy through the crowd, or screaming and yelling, you can stalk targets pretty easily.

Posted by: Diogenes
-----------------

Riding with a PI friend following a car I said man it's going to notice you he responded they don't know jack, people don't pay attention to anything. He was right.

Posted by: Braenyard at April 13, 2024 11:33 PM (IeGFg)

255 It was noted earlier this evening that the Canadian government decided last month to ban future arms sales to Israel. Meanwhile, the Saudis deployed forces to shoot down Iranian drones inbound for Israel today.

Saudi Arabia is now a stronger supporter of Israel than Canada.

Let that sink in.

Posted by: Dr. T at April 13, 2024 11:33 PM (g0Y4p)

256 I've been working on cracking the code, but with only moderate success.
Posted by: ghost of hallelujah

Drink
More
Ovaltine

Posted by: Tonypete at April 13, 2024 11:33 PM (WXNFJ)

257 It would be like... seeing Hillary Clinton in a pair of leggings with 'Juicy' written on the ass.
Posted by: Aetius451AD

Why the hell do you hate us?

Posted by: Some Rat at April 13, 2024 11:33 PM (vJiyU)

258 Minis were as reliable as any other import car of the 1960's. Maybe even more so. And they were so simply constructed, they were dead easy to work on. The BMW "minis" are bloated counterfeits.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at April 13, 2024 11:32 PM (tkR6S)

Same for the 'New' Bugs.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at April 13, 2024 11:33 PM (di6C2)

259 They couldn't sell the original Mini nowadays. Too many people would get squished.

Posted by: fd at April 13, 2024 11:34 PM (vFG9F)

260 252 Minis were as reliable as any other import car of the 1960's. Maybe even more so. And they were so simply constructed, they were dead easy to work on. The BMW "minis" are bloated counterfeits.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at April

Well now I won’t let you drive mine, so there! 😂

( and yes they were good, then bad, and now good again, as I said).

Posted by: Piper at April 13, 2024 11:34 PM (ZdaMQ)

261 Does this mean FJB called Netanyahu and said, "Don't."?
Posted by: Gref at April 13, 2024 11:32 PM (5fDan)

----------

Actually, he said, "Dzzzhrr urp.*

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at April 13, 2024 11:34 PM (bo7UB)

262 was noted earlier this evening that the Canadian government decided last month to ban future arms sales to Israel. Meanwhile, the Saudis deployed forces to shoot down Iranian drones inbound for Israel today.

Saudi Arabia is now a stronger supporter of Israel than Canada.

Let that sink in.
Posted by: Dr. T at April 13, 2024 11:33 PM (g0Y4p)

what was Canada selling to Israel? Lacrosse sticks?

Posted by: polynikes at April 13, 2024 11:35 PM (MNhXM)

263 Why the hell do you hate us?
Posted by: Some Rat at April 13, 2024 11:33 PM (vJiyU)

Exactly the effect I was going for, good.

Although, to be fair, it would be like a beautiful woman wearing something horrendous, to ruin the whole effect.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at April 13, 2024 11:35 PM (di6C2)

264 AOP, I saw a 1928 Packard today. 22" wheels on that thing. It has a Chevy straight 6 in it. The guy said Packard cultists hate him.
Posted by: fd at April 13, 2024 11:27 PM (vFG9F)

I appreciate Packards, but I am not a cultist. Were those "modern" 22" wheels with those ridiculous rubber-band tires on them? Those would ugly up a garbage truck.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at April 13, 2024 11:36 PM (tkR6S)

265 We encountered a huge flock of minis at the western end of the famous Deals' Gap road in far west NC, back not long after the beginning of the century. Some kind of a mini meet. They waved us by because the caravan was waiting for some stragglers.

Since they had been plugging the highway for miles, there was no one in front of them, and we ran the Gap in the old 986 Boxster S with not a soul ahead of us. Ackshully, it was pretty new then. I loved that car.

Posted by: Mr Gaga at April 13, 2024 11:36 PM (KiBMU)

266 259 They couldn't sell the original Mini nowadays. Too many people would get squished.
Posted by: fd at April 13, 2024 11:34 PM (vFG9F)

I wonder how many people could get INTO an old school bug or mini.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at April 13, 2024 11:36 PM (di6C2)

267 General George C. Scott sure has a lot of fans.
I wish more of 'us' could have spoken with soldiers (and officers) who actually served under Patton. The movie only covers so much.

Posted by: Way, Way Downriver at April 13, 2024 11:37 PM (zdLoL)

268 And William Manchester was not a fan so you know the bio was not biased in MacArthur’s favor.
Posted by: polynikes at April 13, 2024 11:24 PM (MNhXM)

Manchester could have just as easily called it 'American Shogun' as shoguns were the power behind the emperors in feudal Japan. For all intents and purposes, the occupation of Japan was The American Shogunate with MacArthur in the title role. Maybe that's why he adamantly kept the emperor on the throne after the war, even though an Asian Nuremberg war crimes trial certainly would have been in order given his support of the military and the military's brutal crimes pretty much everywhere they went.

Posted by: RickZ at April 13, 2024 11:37 PM (emlEe)

269 I wonder how many people could get INTO an old school bug or mini.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at April 13, 2024 11:36 PM

I am 5’1. Pretty sure I could! Really going to bed now. See y’all later!

Posted by: Piper at April 13, 2024 11:38 PM (ZdaMQ)

270 They couldn't sell the original Mini nowadays. Too many people would get squished.
Posted by: fd at April 13, 2024 11:34 PM (vFG9F)

I wonder how many people could get INTO an old school bug or mini.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at April 13, 2024 11:36 PM (di6C2

Cambodians could get in easily.

Posted by: polynikes at April 13, 2024 11:38 PM (MNhXM)

271 "Were those "modern" 22" wheels with those ridiculous rubber-band tires on them? Those would ugly up a garbage truck."

Big 'ol original steel wheels. Cable operated "brakes".

Posted by: fd at April 13, 2024 11:39 PM (vFG9F)

272 Night piper.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at April 13, 2024 11:39 PM (di6C2)

273 Same for the 'New' Bugs.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at April 13, 2024 11:33 PM (di6C2)

Agreed. The original Minis and VW beetles survived in traffic by being small, light, and nimble, and by having pretty darned good brakes.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at April 13, 2024 11:40 PM (tkR6S)

274 I wonder how many people could get INTO an old school bug or mini.
Posted by: Aetius451AD

Getting into vehicles is easy, now, getting OUT? That's starting to get spicey.

Posted by: Some Rat at April 13, 2024 11:41 PM (vJiyU)

275 Basil Fawlty deals with his car
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_n77eoOfRPE

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at April 13, 2024 11:42 PM (XeU6L)

276 275
God. That show was funny.

Posted by: Dr. Claw at April 13, 2024 11:45 PM (roH4R)

277 The cost of a fast food meal has tracked with the minimum wage for decades. Doesn't matter what is the franchise.
My personal observation. Your mileage may vary.

Posted by: gourmand du jour, home of the $22 burrito at April 13, 2024 11:45 PM (MeG8a)

278 Watching the Monte Carlo tennis tournament and the chick from Dune is in the stands ( she has a new tennis movie coming out) . She literally looks anorexic.

Posted by: polynikes at April 13, 2024 11:46 PM (MNhXM)

279 Maybe that's why he adamantly kept the emperor on the throne after the war, even though an Asian Nuremberg war crimes trial certainly would have been in order given his support of the military and the military's brutal crimes pretty much everywhere they went.
Posted by: RickZ

My understanding of the situation post war was the military understood the USSR was going to be a threat, so the "rehabilitation" of the Japanese was needed to serve as a nice buffer state since we had France, England, and so on in the west. Lots of moving parts...

Posted by: Some Rat at April 13, 2024 11:47 PM (vJiyU)

280 278 Watching the Monte Carlo tennis tournament and the chick from Dune is in the stands ( she has a new tennis movie coming out) . She literally looks anorexic.

----------

Food in Monte Carlo is crazy expensive.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at April 13, 2024 11:47 PM (bo7UB)

281 72 No word on whether the knife was semi or full auto.
Posted by: Robert at April 13, 2024 10:17 PM (GZplb)

We need common sense knife/hammer/brick/rock/stick control laws..

Posted by: Anonymous Rogue in Kalifornistan (ARiK) at April 13, 2024 11:49 PM (QGaXH)

282 The cost of a fast food meal has tracked with the minimum wage for decades. Doesn't matter what is the franchise.
My personal observation. Your mileage may vary.
Posted by: gourmand du jour, home of the $22 burrito

You're not alone. Friend says you can determine the cost of living in a city based on a Big Mac meal.

Posted by: Some Rat at April 13, 2024 11:49 PM (vJiyU)

283 Ah, the ole English Mini. I was never comfortable in one. It sat low, like go-cart low. It zipped around pretty good, but it felt like a Flintstonemobile with an engine. Pretty light weight. Didn't dare drive it on any major motorway. Trucks would blow you off the road. Good for driving single track country roads in England, though you may get crushed by large farming vehicles.

Posted by: Puddleglum at work at April 13, 2024 11:51 PM (wrXPz)

284 Reliable cars? Have to pick our '47 chev aerosedan for that. Dad loved the thing, it wasn't anything special, the car just worked each time it was asked to. I, otoh, did not. There was a heavy price paid for that.

Mostest reliable (and toughest) was the for real Willys MB Jeep we had until I graduated, Dad bought it while mustering out. He had lots of experience with them and would praise the things continually. The thing WAS an aerodynamic brick, but was simple as a rock plus twice as tough. For something with a 90 day expected life a surprising number survived which indicates a well engineered piece of equipment. They never got pampered that I know of.

Posted by: irongrampa at April 13, 2024 11:51 PM (KATBx)

285 Big 'ol original steel wheels. Cable operated "brakes".
Posted by: fd at April 13, 2024 11:39 PM (vFG9F)

Mechanical brakes did work OK, if kept properly adjusted. I once owned a Crosley with mechanical brakes.

A Chevy inline six is not the worst possible engine swap for an old Packard like that.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at April 13, 2024 11:53 PM (tkR6S)

286 The Aerosedan was the one with the jet engine, right?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at April 13, 2024 11:54 PM (bo7UB)

287 >>>>I wonder how many people could get INTO an old school bug or mini.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at April 13, 2024 11:36 PM (di6C2)
----------------

4 adult sized males
1 baritone saxophone in case
1 trumpet in case
1 upright double bass in case
1 trombone in case

Posted by: Braenyard at April 13, 2024 11:54 PM (IeGFg)

288 Yesterday there was a study that showed American women aren't in the Top 10 when it comes to big asses, now one shows men can't even rank in the top 50 of the big Johnson club.

Thank you Joe Biden's America.

Posted by: Rbastid at April 13, 2024 11:56 PM (mHrd/)

289
10min ago
Israeli official: Iran failed, now its turn to go sleepless

Posted by: Braenyard at April 13, 2024 11:57 PM (IeGFg)

290 194 How does someone get the time and opportunity to stab, not shoot, six people to death?
Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at April 13, 2024 11:04 PM (MoZTd)
----
It's an automatic knife. Can stab 1900 cuts/minute - like a machine-knife.

Posted by: Ciampino - automated homicide at April 13, 2024 11:57 PM (qfLjt)

291 And William Manchester was not a fan so you know the bio was not biased in MacArthur’s favor.
Posted by: polynikes at April 13, 2024 11:24 PM (MNhXM)
------------
He seems to have developed a grudging respect for him. In his memoir, Manchester refers to him as a "baffling, frustrating man." Which is kinda how I sometimes feel about Trump.

Posted by: Captain Obvious, Laird o' the Sea, Radioactive Knight at April 13, 2024 11:58 PM (Be/+i)

292 Police are continuing their investigation into a stabbing attack at Westfield Bondi Junction in Sydney on Saturday afternoon that left six people dead and 12 people hospitalised, including a nine-month-old baby.

Assistant Commissioner Anthony Cooke says the attacker was 40-year-old Queensland man Joel Cauchi, who "suffers from mental health issues".
====
Fuck you:

A reporter asked Assistant Commissioner Lowe whether the attacker had any association or links to "conservative Christian religious groups".

"No, and I can reaffirm that, and [the] NSW Police Force as the lead agency in this investigation have spoken on that," he says.

"There is no ideology that would suggest this matter has a religious focus, has a political focus, or any ideology or religious motivation, to our understanding, that would contribute to an individual going into a crowded place and committing a crime of this nature.

"So, no."

Posted by: andycanuck (vtyCZ) at April 13, 2024 11:58 PM (vtyCZ)

293 Id really enjoy a strong yes or no from officials if we're getting in to WW3 or not, cause there's a chick at work i was going to ask out once this gig is over in a month and we're no longer co-workers, but if I'm going to die on Wednesday i may push upmy Tome table a bit.

Posted by: Rbastid at April 13, 2024 11:59 PM (mHrd/)

294 A reporter asked Assistant Commissioner Lowe whether the attacker had any association or links to "conservative Christian religious groups".

---------
RUFKM?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at April 14, 2024 12:00 AM (bo7UB)

295 How does someone get the time and opportunity to stab, not shoot, six people to death?
--
They were all immersed in their phones (probably watching video of people round them getting stabbed).

Posted by: Ciampino - automated homicidal maniac at April 14, 2024 12:01 AM (qfLjt)

296 A reporter asked Assistant Commissioner Lowe whether the attacker had any association or links to "conservative Christian religious groups".
---------
RUFKM?
Posted by: Cicero

We would never FKY.

Posted by: mikeski at April 14, 2024 12:01 AM (DgGvY)

297 "There is no ideology that would suggest this matter has a religious focus, has a political focus, or any ideology or religious motivation, to our understanding, that would contribute to an individual going into a crowded place and committing a crime of this nature.

"So, no."
Posted by: andycanuck (vtyCZ) at April 13, 2024 11:58 PM (vtyCZ)

On the face of it, "Joel Cauchi" does not sound like a muzzie name, at all. Could be a garden variety nutbar.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at April 14, 2024 12:02 AM (tkR6S)

298 Id really enjoy a strong yes or no from officials if we're getting in to WW3 or not, cause there's a chick at work i was going to ask out once this gig is over in a month and we're no longer co-workers, but if I'm going to die on Wednesday i may push upmy Tome table a bit.

Posted by: Rbastid at April 13, 2024 11:59 PM (mHrd/)

The Horde are, if anything, practical.

Posted by: RickZ at April 14, 2024 12:02 AM (emlEe)

299 Assistant Commissioner Lowe has confirmed that the 40-year-old man's family were the ones who contacted authorities after seeing the footage last night.

"I can say that the family, when viewing footage of the event on TV, believed that it may well have been their son, and they reached out to authorities," he says.

"They reached out to assist authorities during the evening."
----
Commissioner Webb says the 40-year-old man from Queensland who is responsible for murdering six people was "not known criminally" but had "come to the notice of law enforcement" in NSW and Queensland for "mental health-related issues".

He adds that the man had been diagnosed with a mental illness when he was 17 years old, and "it would suggest in the last number of years his mental health has declined".

"That will centre on the investigations we undertake with New South Wales," Assistant Commissioner Lowe says.
---
With five of the six people who were killed in the attack yesterday being women, Commissioner Webb has been asked if she believes he was targeting women.

"That's been reported to me as well, and obviously that will be an obvious line of inquiry," she says.

Posted by: andycanuck (vtyCZ) at April 14, 2024 12:03 AM (vtyCZ)

300 How does someone get the time and opportunity to stab, not shoot, six people to death?
--
They were all immersed in their phones (probably watching video of people round them getting stabbed).
Posted by: Ciampino

Liked by twelve, carried by six. Winning!

Posted by: mikeski at April 14, 2024 12:03 AM (DgGvY)

301 He adds that the man had been diagnosed with a mental illness when he was 17 years old, and "it would suggest in the last number of years his mental health has declined".

"That will centre on the investigations we undertake with New South Wales," Assistant Commissioner Lowe says.
---
With five of the six people who were killed in the attack yesterday being women, Commissioner Webb has been asked if she believes he was targeting women.

"That's been reported to me as well, and obviously that will be an obvious line of inquiry," she says.
Posted by: andycanuck

I give 50/50 odds on either "garden-variety nutcase" or "transpycho."

Posted by: mikeski at April 14, 2024 12:05 AM (DgGvY)

302 "tranpsycho."

If you're going to invent a word, invent it right, self.

Posted by: mikeski at April 14, 2024 12:06 AM (DgGvY)

303 I like the part of the vid where everyone is running and this big guy turns and faces the oncoming assailant with a 'come on' motion and the knifer takes a sharp left turn. He was afraid of opposition.
I'm glad he was killed by a women. Hopefully there were a couple of pain shots before the final one.

Posted by: Braenyard at April 14, 2024 12:06 AM (IeGFg)

304 "tranpsycho."

If you're going to invent a word, invent it right, self.
Posted by: mikeski at April 14, 2024 12:06 AM (DgGvY)

I like it, but I think it needs two "s's": "transpsycho".

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at April 14, 2024 12:09 AM (tkR6S)

305 "transpycho"
--------
Was dressed as a man, wearing a football jersey; and bearded.

https://tinyurl.com/24yb7ycz

Posted by: andycanuck (vtyCZ) at April 14, 2024 12:11 AM (vtyCZ)

306 like the part of the vid where everyone is running and this big guy turns and faces the oncoming assailant with a 'come on' motion and the knifer takes a sharp left turn. He was afraid of opposition.
I'm glad he was killed by a women. Hopefully there were a couple of pain shots before the final one.
Posted by: Braenyard at April 14, 2024 12:06 AM (IeGFg)

I’d like to think that if it happened here in Texas he would have run into a CHL holder ( though not necessary any longer)

Posted by: polynikes at April 14, 2024 12:12 AM (MNhXM)

307 Was dressed as a man, wearing a football jersey; and bearded.

Oh, sure, expect me to read things and make informed comments.

Posted by: mikeski at April 14, 2024 12:13 AM (DgGvY)

308 Yes, the knife attack in Sydney Australia is a reminder to be situationally aware at all times put your phone in your pocket look around be aware.

Posted by: gourmand du jour, home of the $22 burrito at April 14, 2024 12:14 AM (MeG8a)

309 R A W S A L E R T S @rawsalerts
🚨#BREAKING: Emergency crews are on the scene after Multiple Children and Others have been Shot in a Mass Shooting
📌#Chicago | #Illinois
Currently, multiple law enforcement and other emergency personnel departments are on the scene of a mass shooting that took place in Chicago, Illinois. According to the Chicago Police Department, a total of eight people have been shot and injured, including five adults and three children; their conditions are unknown at this time. It's not known if the shooter suspect was caught by law enforcement or is still on the loose this situation is still developing.

https://tinyurl.com/4ps8zzx5
1:05 minutes

Posted by: andycanuck (vtyCZ) at April 14, 2024 12:15 AM (vtyCZ)

310 On the Oz knifing:

https://tinyurl.com/4fh5wk5j

Posted by: Ciampino - automated homicidal maniac? at April 14, 2024 12:17 AM (qfLjt)

311 So, I drove 30 miles (each way, dammit) to south chandler to fill up the 'Burb with gasoline at $3.89 per gallon. 33 gallons at that price was $130 dollars. 33 gallons at the prevailing rate here in AJ, $4.49 would be $148.17. So I saved 18 bucks, and probably burned about 12 bucks in gas to do it.

But I did stop at Lochiel Brewery on the way back, and had a 5-ounce shot of their Thorfinn Berserker barley wine, which is 20% ABV. I could definitely taste the alcohol in it. Nice tasty drink, too, but 5 ounces was enough. Washed it down with a Pub Ale.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at April 14, 2024 12:17 AM (tkR6S)

312 Oh, sure, expect me to read things and make informed comments.
-----
LOL.

Posted by: andycanuck (vtyCZ) at April 14, 2024 12:17 AM (vtyCZ)

313 We’ve had two high profile stabbings in the States recently . Both young kids protecting a loved one.

The one in Wyoming hasn’t been reported on as much. I still don’t know if it was a race thing . Odds is it was not because Wyoming but not photos of the perps. They are being charged as adults so they shouldn’t keep their photos from being published.

Posted by: polynikes at April 14, 2024 12:18 AM (MNhXM)

314 #310 Good [?] Daily Mail UK find:

Bondi knifeman's escort past revealed: Joel Cauchi offered 'closed door' services to both men and women
Joel Cauchi, 40, worked as a male escort and offered his sexual services online as recently as mid 2023.

In one post, which has since been deleted, he described himself as 'athletic good looking'.

He offered 'closed door' services to both men and women, among other options too graphic to publish.

His services were published on websites including Australia Cracker, Empire Escorts and Escorts Australia.

All websites allow users to upload their own pictures and solicit their own sexual services.

Posted by: andycanuck (vtyCZ) at April 14, 2024 12:20 AM (vtyCZ)

315 The aerosedan as a Chevy model built for 2 years, they shared the configuration with Pontiac, Olds and Cadillac.

Posted by: irongrampa at April 14, 2024 12:20 AM (KATBx)

316 My understanding of the situation post war was the military understood the USSR was going to be a threat, so the "rehabilitation" of the Japanese was needed to serve as a nice buffer state since we had France, England, and so on in the west. Lots of moving parts...

Same reason why the plan for Germany went from making them a farming country to encouraging them to have an army in less than 10 years

Posted by: azjaeger at April 14, 2024 12:22 AM (3/XaG)

317 On the Oz knifing:

https://tinyurl.com/4fh5wk5j
Posted by: Ciampino - automated homicidal maniac? at April 14, 2024 12:17 AM (qfLjt)

Garden variety nutbar? But if he was offering sexual services to both women and men, a touch of the "trans" would fit, too.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at April 14, 2024 12:22 AM (tkR6S)

318 The aerosedan as a Chevy model built for 2 years, they shared the configuration with Pontiac, Olds and Cadillac.
Posted by: irongrampa at April 14, 2024 12:20 AM (KATBx)

What they called a "turtleback", back in the day. Now, we would call them a "fastback". I remember as a kid thinking just how dated they looked, even when only ten years old or so.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at April 14, 2024 12:26 AM (tkR6S)

319 OK, I just proved my Moron bonafide's. I went to last night's ONT to see the discussion after I left. I actually read the post and this happened, I posted...

TY for the ONT WD.
True story, a couple of minutes ago Jules came to the door and said "Were you laughing?". I responded in the affirmative and she said "I didn't know if you were laughing or dying".
Thanks for some raucous laughter tonight.
Posted by: Farmer at April 13, 2024 11:59

Ooops. But TY now MH, I did read tonight's ONT and it also made me guffaw. I must be losing it posting on last night's thread. Please someone else tell me you have done that.

Posted by: Farmer at April 14, 2024 12:27 AM (55Qr6)

320 I’d like to think that if it happened here in Texas he would have run into a CHL holder ( though not necessary any longer)
Posted by: polynikes

That happened here in MN in 2016. Muslim guy went on a stabby spree in a St Cloud mall, and got perforated by an off-duty "part-time" police officer.

https://tinyurl.com/3j6u6m7j

There was some tut-tutting at the time about him carrying in a gun-free zone, but this was in the pre-Floydian times when police officers still got called "heroes" by presidents. Even Obama.

Posted by: mikeski at April 14, 2024 12:27 AM (DgGvY)

321 Help, MisHum. I'm trapped in a restaurant waiting for pizza. It's been two hours.
Posted by: OrangeEnt at April 13, 2024 11:17 PM (pyTxT)

Take a deep breath, slowly get up and walk away. Do not make eye contact.
Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian Who Lives In The Thawed Out Tundra at April 13, 2024 11:19 PM (8aThB)

Couldn't, it was a church thing. The place had every table full and not enough people working. Finally got the food. Back home now.

Posted by: OrangeEnt at April 14, 2024 12:28 AM (0eaVi)

322 Garden variety nutbar? But if he was offering sexual services to both women and men, a touch of the "trans" would fit, too.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon

I guess I missed by a letter in their acronym. Should have bet on the "B" and not the "T".

Posted by: mikeski at April 14, 2024 12:29 AM (DgGvY)

323 319 Ooops. But TY now MH, I did read tonight's ONT and it also made me guffaw. I must be losing it posting on last night's thread. Please someone else tell me you have done that.
Posted by: Farmer at April 14, 2024 12:27 AM (55Qr6)

All have sinned and fallen short of the glory that is the ONT, myself included.

Posted by: Anonymous Rogue in Kalifornistan (ARiK) at April 14, 2024 12:30 AM (QGaXH)

324 Couldn't, it was a church thing. The place had every table full and not enough people working. Finally got the food. Back home now.
Posted by: OrangeEnt at April 14, 2024 12:28 AM (0eaVi)

Pizza Night at Rowley, Alberta. last Saturday of every month, during the Summer season. They rope off the main street, have a band in the park, and volunteers make pizza in the community hall. Sam's Saloon is open, and doing a land-office business. It is a real trip. people drive all the way from Edmonton or Calgary to take part. Even camp there. Any Morons or Ettes who want to visit me in Alberta, I will take you there. Fun time guaranteed.

BTW, you can search "Pizza Night at Rowley", and see lots of pics.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at April 14, 2024 12:34 AM (tkR6S)

325 Anonymous Rogue in Kalifornistan,

You in the North Kalifornistan People's Republik, or in the Southern one?

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at April 14, 2024 12:39 AM (ynpvh)

326 324
...

BTW, you can search "Pizza Night at Rowley", and see lots of pics.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at April 14, 2024 12:34 AM (tkR6S)

So it DID happen.

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at April 14, 2024 12:40 AM (ynpvh)

327 I guess I missed by a letter in their acronym. Should have bet on the "B" and not the "T".
Posted by: mikeski at April 14, 2024 12:29 AM (DgGvY)

If it had been a "K", we could let Taj Mahal tell us all about it:

https://youtu.be/kGcGBmJTnKc

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at April 14, 2024 12:40 AM (tkR6S)

328 That dick size article. Here's a problem. Countries that are more or less homogeneous will give a true average. Countries that include substantial immigrant numbers will be skewed one way or the other from it's original average by the immigrant average.

Posted by: Ciampino - sorry Math (not really) at April 14, 2024 12:42 AM (qfLjt)

329 328 That dick size article. Here's a problem. Countries that are more or less homogeneous will give a true average. Countries that include substantial immigrant numbers will be skewed one way or the other from it's original average by the immigrant average.

Posted by: Ciampino - sorry Math (not really) at April 14, 2024 12:42 AM (qfLjt)

Does Fauci improve the average? I mean, he's quite a large dick, but some say he's a little prick.

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at April 14, 2024 12:43 AM (ynpvh)

330 Hey, my Horde, how are you all tonight?

Posted by: Debby Doberman Schultz at April 14, 2024 12:48 AM (Sgq8y)

331 Hey, my Horde, how are you all tonight?
Posted by: Debby Doberman Schultz at April 14, 2024 12:48 AM (Sgq8y)

Finer than frogs' hair, Debby.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at April 14, 2024 12:49 AM (tkR6S)

332 A dick thread? See y'all tomorrow. Have a good one, peeps.

Posted by: Notorious BFD at April 14, 2024 12:51 AM (V8he0)

333 329
Does Fauci improve the average? I mean, he's quite a large dick, but some say he's a little prick.

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at April 14, 2024 12:43 AM (ynpvh)
----
Now you're going to force me to get out the vernier calipers and even the micrometer screw-gauge and hold the bastard down?

Posted by: Ciampino - it's girth men at April 14, 2024 12:56 AM (qfLjt)

334 You're not alone. Friend says you can determine the cost of living in a city based on a Big Mac meal. Posted by: Some Rat at April 13, 2024 11:49 PM (vJiyU)

Maybe a little late for this, but The Economist for decades has used the Big Mac Index to track relative prices in various places in the world (similar to a purchasing power parity exchange rate index).

Posted by: Caesar North of the Rubicon at April 14, 2024 12:57 AM (r5tfK)

335 Hey, my Horde, how are you all tonight?
Posted by: Debby Doberman Schultz at April 14, 2024 12:48 AM (Sgq8y)

S'up DDS!

Posted by: Diogenes at April 14, 2024 12:57 AM (W/lyH)

336 AOP, I assume that is finer than the golden hair on Joe Biden's legs in the swimming pool with the kids!

I will put Pizza Night in Rowley, Alberta on my bucket list, that sounds like fun.

Posted by: Debby Doberman Schultz at April 14, 2024 12:57 AM (Sgq8y)

337 BTW, you can search "Pizza Night at Rowley", and see lots of pics.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at April 14, 2024 12:34 AM (tkR6S)

I've been to Calgary, once. Once.

Posted by: OrangeEnt at April 14, 2024 01:02 AM (0eaVi)

338 AOP, I assume that is finer than the golden hair on Joe Biden's legs in the swimming pool with the kids!

I will put Pizza Night in Rowley, Alberta on my bucket list, that sounds like fun.
Posted by: Debby Doberman Schultz at April 14, 2024 12:57 AM (Sgq8y)

So fine, you can't even see it! You would always be welcome at stately Peon Manor, Debby.

Here's a nice boogie for you from the one and only King Biscuit Boy (who I drank beer with, one evening. Guy was a pro):

https://youtu.be/_Xzj-iiNK_w

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at April 14, 2024 01:06 AM (tkR6S)

339 AOP, I will bookmark that, I have no sound in my current location. You do know, however, that I am a huge fan of I think it's the Blue Light Boogie, my neighbor and I have imbibed and danced to this on a few occasions. I hope I have the title right, but I enjoy King Biscuit quite a bit.

Posted by: Debby Doberman Schultz at April 14, 2024 01:12 AM (Sgq8y)

340 Hey, my Horde, how are you all tonight?
Posted by: Debby Doberman Schultz at April 14, 2024 12:48

Doing well Debby, it was 75 here today. Got some yardwork done but I'm paying for it now. Tulips here are just starting to bloom.

Posted by: Farmer at April 14, 2024 01:12 AM (55Qr6)

341 Hi Debby. I'm about to doze off. Night all.

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at April 14, 2024 01:14 AM (ynpvh)

342 AOP, I will bookmark that, I have no sound in my current location. You do know, however, that I am a huge fan of I think it's the Blue Light Boogie, my neighbor and I have imbibed and danced to this on a few occasions. I hope I have the title right, but I enjoy King Biscuit quite a bit.
Posted by: Debby Doberman Schultz at April 14, 2024 01:12 AM (Sgq8y)

Not Blue Light Boogie, but Biscuit's Boogie. Plays about 9 minutes.

"and Papa rolled over and said to Mama, "that boy's full-grown now. he done made 21. Got to let him have himself some fun."

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at April 14, 2024 01:17 AM (tkR6S)

343
Okay, T. Coronae Borealis, I'm looking at you. It's time for you to go nova, and I'm waiting.

Just as a watched pot never boils, I guess a watched star never novas.

Seriously, April is the predicted blow month, plus or minus 3 months. If it behaves as it did the last two times it went off. Which it may not.

Anyway, I've got the little Coronae Borealis constellation located in my head and know where to look.

Posted by: publius, Rascally Mr. Miley (w6EFb) at April 14, 2024 01:24 AM (w6EFb)

344 Brittney Griner and partner Cherelle announce they are expecting a baby... 16 months after WNBA star was released from Russian penal colony in prisoner exchange for arms dealer

https://mol.im/a/13305373

Posted by: Ciampino - who is the Dad? at April 14, 2024 01:25 AM (qfLjt)

345 I am one exhausted puppy. Our moving company estimated a six-hour job for three men; it turned out to be more like eleven hours, and not because they were slacking. We ran into numerous issues, but at least now the big stuff is moved and we can pick off the rest of the chores at a more leisurely pace. Here's hoping I get a good first night's rest in my new place. See you all in the a.m. for the book thread.

Posted by: PabloD at April 14, 2024 01:28 AM (nBXrs)

346 USA Courts gone global! The City of The Hague and the Bar Association works with Soros, and so did BRAZILian AND RUSSIAn courts!

https://tinyurl.com/47e898x4

Posted by: Ciampino - grammar please at April 14, 2024 01:28 AM (qfLjt)

347 Brittney Griner and partner Cherelle announce they are expecting a baby... 16 months after WNBA star was released from Russian penal colony in prisoner exchange for arms dealer

Posted by: Ciampino - who is the Dad? at April 14, 2024 01:25 AM (qfLjt)

Who's the daddy?

Posted by: OrangeEnt at April 14, 2024 01:29 AM (0eaVi)

348 'Everything I received I was eligible for': Tennessee man slapped with $24,000 bill for overpaid benefits during pandemic — despite saying he did 'everything that was required' to get help

https://tinyurl.com/3h7xuj8v

Posted by: Ciampino - just typical of gov. at April 14, 2024 01:31 AM (qfLjt)

349 347:Who's the daddy?
Posted by: OrangeEnt

They just abused me. (sniff)

Posted by: Turkey baster at April 14, 2024 01:31 AM (wrXPz)

350 Brittney Griner and partner Cherelle announce they are expecting a baby... 16 months after WNBA star was released from Russian penal colony in prisoner exchange for arms dealer

https://mol.im/a/13305373
Posted by: Ciampino - who is the Dad? at April 14, 2024 01:25 AM (qfLjt)

Fuck! Guess I have to go shopping for cigars.

Posted by: The Turkey Baster at April 14, 2024 01:31 AM (tkR6S)

351 Farmer, I have lost a lot of interest in many things of late. I used to love to cook and garden and read. I don't do much of any of that now. Maybe I just need a break for a while. I am sure that it will come back eventually, hopefully while I am still able to do it though. I love tulips, buy them for myself every once in a while.

Posted by: Debby Doberman Schultz at April 14, 2024 01:33 AM (Sgq8y)

352 Missing Kansas moms: Huge 20-vehicle cop convoy including SWAT trucks races through Oklahoma plains after tip-off over vanished women and four people are arrested

https://mol.im/a/13305307

Posted by: Ciampino - overshadowed by ME at April 14, 2024 01:33 AM (qfLjt)

353 FROM SPACE! Solar Eclipse Captured By Starlink Satellite

https://youtube.com/shorts/3iUzi6AMmc8

Posted by: Ciampino - shadowed by Moon at April 14, 2024 01:36 AM (qfLjt)

354 ...Who's the daddy? Posted by: OrangeEnt at April 14, 2024 01:29 AM (0eaVi)

In the '90s, I'd have wagered Dennis Rodman. He fucked anything, including Madonna at Peak Skank.

Now? Find a self-loathing, "black", utterly simp-ing, soy infused man, with barely enough "zip" to be erect at the essential time.

Shaun, "Talcum-X" is as likely a candidate as anyone. He's fucked everyone else over, he'd might as well fucked HER.

Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim at April 14, 2024 01:39 AM (e6UQI)

355 Shocking courtroom words of predator Christopher Clements who snatched girl, 6, from her bedroom as she slept before murdering her, as he is sentenced to spend rest of his life in prison

https://mol.im/a/13305243

--
Life in one of our prisons is too easy (though he may not last long since a child was involved). We need to have an agreement with Singapore or Guatemala or similar, Turkey even. One of those places in which one doesn't want to ever be confined. Prisoners who would have gotten the rope in the old days get sent there instead. We pay for the upkeep of the prisoner.

Posted by: Ciampino - shooting is too good at April 14, 2024 01:43 AM (qfLjt)

356 325 Anonymous Rogue in Kalifornistan,

You in the North Kalifornistan People's Republik, or in the Southern one?

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at April 14, 2024 12:39 AM (ynpvh)

Hi Kalifornia Jim- If you're still here - I'm in the south - Orange County. You're in Sandy Eggo as I recall? Hope you are doing well - I've seen your posts recently and losses in your life.

Posted by: Anonymous Rogue in Kalifornistan (ARiK) at April 14, 2024 01:44 AM (QGaXH)

357 324 Any Morons or Ettes who want to visit me in Alberta, I will take you there. Fun time guaranteed.

BTW, you can search "Pizza Night at Rowley", and see lots of pics.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at April 14, 2024 12:34 AM (tkR6S)

May take you up on that sometime...now that I don't plan on any more biz travel to Phoenix...

Posted by: Anonymous Rogue in Kalifornistan (ARiK) at April 14, 2024 01:47 AM (QGaXH)

358 Farmer, I have lost a lot of interest in many things of late. I used to love to cook and garden and read. I don't do much of any of that now. Maybe I just need a break for a while. I am sure that it will come back eventually, hopefully while I am still able to do it though. I love tulips, buy them for myself every once in a while.
Posted by: Debby Doberman Schultz at April 14, 2024 01:33

Debby, you will come back. It can take time. I'm not able to do much now, but I have hopes. I love spring when things start to grow here.

Posted by: Farmer at April 14, 2024 01:51 AM (Flt4g)

359 Biden warns Netanyahu US will NOT support Israel's counterattack on Iran amid fears of all-out war: President tells PM in late-night call 'you got a win, take the win' after IDF shot down 'nearly all' incoming drones and missiles

https://mol.im/a/13306161
--
That's not a win. It's like a boxer to have parried all his adversary's blows but he hasn't won anything yet, he needs to start raining blows of his own until the other is down or throws in the towel.

Posted by: Ciampino - our porridge-brained pseudo-pres at April 14, 2024 01:56 AM (qfLjt)

360 "Biden warns Netanyahu US will NOT support Israel's counterattack on Iran"
--------

FJB. That fking fk...

If Israel doesn't blow Eye-ran's uranium enrichment facilities *now* they WILL get da bomm and cill everyone

Posted by: JQ at April 14, 2024 02:02 AM (njWTi)

361 Sex offender 58 'held pregnant woman hostage and forced her to have sex with his brown and white pet dog'

https://mol.im/a/13304501

--
Rear prison wall, 9mm, nape.

Posted by: Ciampino - who let this guy loose? at April 14, 2024 02:02 AM (qfLjt)

362 Parts of SNL tonight were actually funny! Ryan Gosling is the only host they've had in years to bring something fresh to the opening monologue, and more than once he managed to evoke the Tim Conway/Carol Burnet show effect where everybody broke character. The NewsNation AI Townhall skit is a great example:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=86qKgK0asGo

Posted by: John Drake at April 14, 2024 02:05 AM (WqOsh)

363 Rear prison wall, 9mm, nape.
Posted by: Ciampino - who let this guy loose? at April 14, 2024 02:02 AM (qfLjt)

Save that for the last round in the magazine. Click. "Oh shit. I lost count. Guess you will just have to bleed out, asshole."

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at April 14, 2024 02:05 AM (tkR6S)

364 361 Sex offender 58 'held pregnant woman hostage and forced her to have sex with his brown and white pet dog'

--
I don't understand the significance of the 'brown and white' in the act. Pet dog is sufficient so why add that?

Posted by: Ciampino - who let this guy loose?? at April 14, 2024 02:07 AM (qfLjt)

365 If Israel doesn't blow Eye-ran's uranium enrichment facilities *now* they WILL get da bomm and cill everyone
Posted by: JQ at April 14, 2024 02:02 AM (njWTi)

Iran's uranium enrichment plant is located deep underground, as I understand it. Even a direct hit with a nuke might not destroy it. Might have to land on the site, bring in a drilling rig, and drop a nuke down the borehole.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at April 14, 2024 02:11 AM (tkR6S)

366 The dog was diverse.

Posted by: Toad-0 at April 14, 2024 02:15 AM (cct0t)

367 365

Something like the Student virus might cause a meltdown in the enrichment facilities. Hoist them with their own petard.

Posted by: Toad-0 at April 14, 2024 02:19 AM (cct0t)

368 Hey, JQ, you flew in here under my radar, Just about when I am hanging up my hat and headed to bed. I hope that your Hubs continues to improve.

Posted by: Debby Doberman Schultz at April 14, 2024 02:21 AM (Sgq8y)

369 Well, I am off to the rack. Night, Horde.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at April 14, 2024 02:27 AM (tkR6S)

370 Night, AOP, I am out too.

Posted by: Debby Doberman Schultz at April 14, 2024 02:33 AM (Sgq8y)

371 It's been a *bad* night here. Another sibling has been blocked, due to unreasonable BS. (And probably drunk, so will unblock tomorrow. Maybe.) GAH!

fml

Posted by: JQ at April 14, 2024 02:44 AM (njWTi)

372 I should know better than to answer certain calls after 11p.m.!

Posted by: JQ at April 14, 2024 02:48 AM (njWTi)

373 The ONT and Jethro Tull, true classics.

Posted by: Letmebringyoumyopinionsfromthewood at April 14, 2024 02:51 AM (RCAte)

374 Grrr. Phone keeps lighting up "blocked call" -- from sibling. (It's not an emergency, we talked until the sh@t hit the fan earlier.)

Posted by: JQ at April 14, 2024 02:54 AM (njWTi)

375 Damn. Sibling is sh@tfaced & doesn't know when to just STFU and sleep it off!

Posted by: JQ at April 14, 2024 03:01 AM (njWTi)

376 Yeah, those BBQ wings & beer at top of post, look *really good* right now! (if I liked beer...but it makes a pretty picture LOL)

Posted by: JQ at April 14, 2024 03:09 AM (njWTi)

377 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s8hEtI9AI0U

Posted by: JQ at April 14, 2024 03:11 AM (njWTi)

378 Hiya, thought winds stopped but nt sure

Posted by: Skip at April 14, 2024 03:14 AM (fwDg9)

379 'Mornin Skip

Posted by: JQ at April 14, 2024 03:16 AM (njWTi)

380 Aw, jeez... why can't sibling just go to bed & leave me alone? Phone keeps lighting up. Bah! (Sleep it off, dumbass!) fml.

So thankful for call blocking!

Wish I could trade places with drunken sibling, though...

Let sibling handle all the shiite I must do, while *I* fk off and have fun with no responsibilities... oh, what joy!

Posted by: JQ at April 14, 2024 03:39 AM (njWTi)

381 Mom & Dad were correct: Life is not fair.

Also-- nobody owes me anything.

Heh.

Posted by: JQ at April 14, 2024 03:41 AM (njWTi)

382
We never have heard of toast guns killing toast people, have we?

Toast guns don't kill toast people
Toast people kill toast people

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at April 14, 2024 03:55 AM (eMh+A)

383 Once I'm gone, though, everybody else is gonna have to pull their own weight. These lazy pricks are killing me. My health is suffering and nobody gives a sh@t-- "good ol' JQ will do it all for us! We can cruise...."

I'm so fking sick & tired of picking up the slack for fking slackers!

Posted by: JQ at April 14, 2024 03:57 AM (njWTi)

384 Toast gubs? wtf?

Posted by: JQ at April 14, 2024 03:58 AM (njWTi)

385
Toast gubs? wtf?
Posted by: JQ

Surely you have heard of young kids chewing a piece of toast into the shape of a gun. Mrs. KvC said that our son did so when he was quite young. That is a toast gun.

The rest followed from, "Guns don't kill people -- people kill people"

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at April 14, 2024 04:03 AM (eMh+A)

386 Pixy's up!

Posted by: m at April 14, 2024 04:04 AM (o3SCB)

387 Oh, it's like poptart gubs!

Paranoid libtards and their hoplophobic fantasies.... riiiiight...

Posted by: JQ at April 14, 2024 04:04 AM (njWTi)

388 My dad was soooo cool. He made gubs for us kids:

Cut out the basic shape on bandsaw, then affixed clothespins... Rubber band gubs FTW!

Posted by: JQ at April 14, 2024 04:09 AM (njWTi)

389 My spouse registered for a getaway coupon put on by "VacationOffers.com".

Posted by: audioguy.co.kr at May 02, 2024 02:47 PM (S5a0v)

390 Discover handpicked locations, hotels, and experiences for one exclusive cost
with Traveling + Leisure GO.

Posted by: www.smithrep.com at May 02, 2024 08:52 PM (S5a0v)

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