Rand Paul Saves Joni Ernst From Choking to Death

Sen. Rand Paul saved a choking Sen. Joni Ernst with the Heimlich maneuver during a Senate GOP lunch on Thursday.
'Can't help but choke on the woke policies Dems are forcing down our throats. Thanks, Dr. @RandPaul!' Ernst, R-Iowa, wrote on X after the incident.

Rand Paul we will never forgive this treachery.

All I'm sayin' is, if God is calling her home, who is Man to stand in the way?

Posted by: Disinformation Expert Ace at 05:47 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Hi Ace.

Posted by: bluebell at November 30, 2023 05:48 PM (pTb/Z)

2 Hmm

Posted by: bluebell at November 30, 2023 05:48 PM (pTb/Z)

3 I could teach her a lot about swallowing meat and suppressing her gag reflex!

Posted by: Kamala Harris at November 30, 2023 05:48 PM (vDyah)

4 My first comment was there, then it wasn't, now it is.

It's good to have a doctor in the house, even if it's the Senate.

Posted by: bluebell at November 30, 2023 05:49 PM (pTb/Z)

5 *cough* *cough* *gahhh*

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc, etc. at November 30, 2023 05:49 PM (XeU6L)

6 She's one of my senators. Not sure how I feel about this.

Posted by: Turn 2 at November 30, 2023 05:49 PM (JfxgE)

7 hiya

Posted by: JT at November 30, 2023 05:50 PM (T4tVD)

8 In 2 years, she'll be claiming he sexually assaulted her

Posted by: Wally at November 30, 2023 05:51 PM (hqVaF)

9 Now, can we get the Leftists in Congress, the WH, SCOTUS, and the Deep State to die from autoerotic ass-phyxiation?

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at November 30, 2023 05:51 PM (ynpvh)

10 She's one of my senators. Not sure how I feel about this.
Posted by: Turn 2 at November 30, 2023 05:49 PM (JfxgE)
---------

I know we are not supposed to like her anymore, but I forget why.

I just can't keep up.

Posted by: bluebell at November 30, 2023 05:51 PM (pTb/Z)

11 ‘Ernst was the host of the Thursday lunch - which consisted of pork chops and ribeye from the Hawkeye state”

These useless fuckheads sure eat well, though.

Posted by: Elric Blade at November 30, 2023 05:51 PM (d/S6j)

12 8 In 2 years, she'll be claiming he sexually assaulted her

Posted by: Wally at November 30, 2023 05:51 PM (hqVaF)

Trump's fault; he said pussy.

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at November 30, 2023 05:52 PM (ynpvh)

13 lunch - which consisted of pork chops...
-----

Well, that's a hell of a surprise...pork.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc, etc. at November 30, 2023 05:52 PM (XeU6L)

14 9 Now, can we get the Leftists in Congress, the WH, SCOTUS, and the Deep State to die from autoerotic ass-phyxiation?

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at November 30, 2023 05:51 PM (ynpvh)

e.g. Heads up their asses.

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at November 30, 2023 05:52 PM (ynpvh)

15 This thread is gonna be slay.

Posted by: Biff Pocoroba at November 30, 2023 05:52 PM (Dm8we)

16 Well, that's a hell of a surprise...pork.
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc, etc. at November 30, 2023 05:52 PM (XeU6L)
---------

😄

Posted by: bluebell at November 30, 2023 05:52 PM (pTb/Z)

17 She should have someone cut up her meat like they do for FJB.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at November 30, 2023 05:54 PM (vDyah)

18
😄
Posted by: bluebell
-----

And I always thought it was just metaphorical.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc, etc. at November 30, 2023 05:54 PM (XeU6L)

19 Let's hope Rand Paul isn't around when Nikki Haley is choking.

Posted by: Mark1971 at November 30, 2023 05:54 PM (xPl2J)

20 Willowed:

>>I don't know what to think about that. Are female Senators so incapable of chewing their food? Is Paul just at the right place at the right time? Is Paul doing Heimlich maneuvers unnecessarily so he can grope women?
__

*Chuck Palahniuk has entered the chat*

Posted by: Frasier Crane at November 30, 2023 05:55 PM (bNf8H)

21 10
I think Joni went Never Trump and might have voted for the ludicrous J6 impeachment..

Posted by: Joe Kidd at November 30, 2023 05:55 PM (IY+he)

22 I would have gone for the Hindenburg Maneuver, but then I'm not a doctor.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at November 30, 2023 05:55 PM (vDyah)

23 I'm surprised he didn't get called out by that twerp Kim Reynolds for stepping outside of his specialty

Posted by: museisluse at November 30, 2023 05:56 PM (s90Jo)

24 22 I would have gone for the Hindenburg Maneuver, but then I'm not a doctor.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43) at November 30, 2023 05:55 PM (vDyah)

I think thats for gas and bloating.

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at November 30, 2023 05:56 PM (ynpvh)

25 Is Paul doing Heimlich maneuvers unnecessarily so he can grope women?

No, that’s what the emergency mammograms are for.

Posted by: Kratwurst at November 30, 2023 05:57 PM (i/LKe)

26 19 Let's hope Rand Paul isn't around when Nikki Haley is choking.

Posted by: Mark1971 at November 30, 2023 05:54 PM (xPl2J)

I hear Cumala never chokes...

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at November 30, 2023 05:57 PM (ynpvh)

27 Joni Ernst is the self-proclaimed "combat veteran" who was never actually in combat.

Posted by: Mark1971 at November 30, 2023 05:57 PM (xPl2J)

28 FJB needs to learn that. You get a free boob feel.

Posted by: Mr Gaga at November 30, 2023 05:57 PM (ZtgZZ)

29 25 Is Paul doing Heimlich maneuvers unnecessarily so he can grope women?

No, that’s what the emergency mammograms are for.

Posted by: Kratwurst at November 30, 2023 05:57 PM (i/LKe)

"Excuse me ma'am. Please remove your blouse and bra. I need to perform and emergency mammogram, Stat!"

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at November 30, 2023 05:57 PM (ynpvh)

30 The Hindlick maneuver has saved many a Saturday night for me.

Posted by: Peter Bootyjuice at November 30, 2023 05:57 PM (woPEM)

31 30 The Hindlick maneuver has saved many a Saturday night for me.

Posted by: Peter Bootyjuice at November 30, 2023 05:57 PM (woPEM)

That's how you contract Ass-bergers.

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at November 30, 2023 05:58 PM (ynpvh)

32 26 19 Let's hope Rand Paul isn't around when Nikki Haley is choking.

Posted by: Mark1971 at November 30, 2023 05:54 PM (xPl2J)

I hear Cumala never chokes...
Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at November 30, 2023 05:57 PM (ynpvh)
————

“You mean she was just faking it, to make me feel better?”

— Willy Brown’s Dick

Posted by: Elric Blade at November 30, 2023 05:59 PM (d/S6j)

33 No good deed goes unpunished. I expect her to knife the country in the back.

Posted by: DOYLE at November 30, 2023 05:59 PM (Z8Yh2)

34 Joni Ernst is the self-proclaimed "combat veteran" who was never actually in combat.
Posted by: Mark1971 at November 30, 2023 05:57 PM (xPl2J)

That LYING BITCH!!!!

Posted by: Brian Williams at November 30, 2023 06:00 PM (vDyah)

35 "Rand Paul Saves Joni Ernst From Choking to Death
--
but why"

-----------

Hah!

Asshole.

Posted by: BurtTC at November 30, 2023 06:00 PM (dGCAG)

36 I remember when she was considered one of the stalwart conservatives.

Wonder what kind of sexual kink they found out about her, to get her to become Gope squish.

Posted by: BurtTC at November 30, 2023 06:01 PM (dGCAG)

37 Is there a Doctrine in the House?

Posted by: zombie james monroe at November 30, 2023 06:01 PM (krqg6)

38 Ya mean he bent her over and gave her a reach around from behind. Oh my.

Posted by: Ben Had at November 30, 2023 06:02 PM (K+bmq)

39 Ya mean he bent her over and gave her a reach around from behind. Oh my.
Posted by: Ben Had at November 30, 2023 06:02 PM (K+bmq)

Early thread-winner candidate!

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Aspiring Codger at November 30, 2023 06:03 PM (T/Lqj)

40 To be fair, that bag of dicks had a string tied to it and all Rand did was yank it out.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at November 30, 2023 06:04 PM (cOq4q)

41 All I'm sayin' is, if God is calling her home, who is Man to stand in the way?

That's a terrible thing to say!

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory, red heifer owner at November 30, 2023 06:04 PM (7MSVz)

42 Joni Ernst is the self-proclaimed "combat veteran" who was never actually in combat.
Posted by: Mark1971 at November 30, 2023 05:57 PM (xPl2J)

What's the story there?

I know a lot of REMFs would get rotated into zones for a while, maybe no more than a month, so they could get their Combat Action Badge.

Which always bugged me. There's the CIB (I stands for Infantry), but obviously other combat soldiers who put their arses on the line. And now everyone gets lumped together, whether you were an engineer, dealing with IEDs, or medics, or others of that ilk, and they have the same badges as paper pushers who never leave the relative safety of the rear.

Posted by: BurtTC at November 30, 2023 06:04 PM (dGCAG)

43 Reps living the high life while the rubes suffer.
A pox on them all.

Posted by: Bosk of Port Kar at November 30, 2023 06:04 PM (VMFAF)

44 FIRST!!!!!

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden at November 30, 2023 06:05 PM (Zz0t1)

45 It is CHRISTMAS at ACE's!!

"For the love of the Savior, do pray for my kittens."

Posted by: Way, Way Downriver at November 30, 2023 06:06 PM (FCs/J)

46 Breaking911 @Breaking911 3h
JUST IN: White House Press Sec. Karine Jean-Pierre ends press briefing after refusing to answer a question from an African journalist.

Breaking911 @Breaking911 52m
BIDEN TO ANGOLAN PRES. LOURENÇO: "Africa — 1 Billion people and critically important for how it functions for the whole world — and no country more important than Angola."

https://tinyurl.com/2p8yzhya
23 seconds; at least he didn't say "Angola punches above its weight."

Posted by: andycanuck (krqg6) at November 30, 2023 06:06 PM (krqg6)

47 44 FIRST!!!!!

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden at November 30, 2023 06:05 PM (Zz0t1)

Missed it by
||
that much.

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at November 30, 2023 06:06 PM (ynpvh)

48 I once gave the Heineken maneuver to the Shanana of Twain.

Posted by: Joe Biden at November 30, 2023 06:06 PM (rkEby)

49 43 Reps living the high life while the rubes suffer.
A pox on them all.
Posted by: Bosk of Port Kar at November 30, 2023 06:04 PM (VMFAF)

At least they're not telling us we can't eat meat... Of course we can't afford it....

Posted by: It's me donna at November 30, 2023 06:06 PM (bs+z0)

50 Why does it seem everyone in congress is 100 years old?

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden at November 30, 2023 06:06 PM (Zz0t1)

51 She's one of my senators. Not sure how I feel about this.
Posted by: Turn 2 at November 30, 2023 05:49 PM (JfxgE)

Yeah, I'm assuming it's a safe R seat, but then if she dies, they'll just put another Gope in there.

Posted by: BurtTC at November 30, 2023 06:07 PM (dGCAG)

52 46 Breaking911 @Breaking911 3h
JUST IN: White House Press Sec. Karine Jean-Pierre ends press briefing after refusing to answer a question from an African journalist.

Breaking911 @Breaking911 52m
BIDEN TO ANGOLAN PRES. LOURENÇO: "Africa — 1 Billion people and critically important for how it functions for the whole world — and no country more important than Angola."

https://tinyurl.com/2p8yzhya
23 seconds; at least he didn't say "Angola punches above its weight."

Posted by: andycanuck (krqg6) at November 30, 2023 06:06 PM (krqg6)

fun Fact: US has about 330 million people, 3rd most populous country in the world. If we added 1 billion more, we'd still be...3rd most populous country in the world.

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at November 30, 2023 06:07 PM (ynpvh)

53 >>Sen. Rand Paul saved a choking Sen. Joni Ernst with the Heimlich maneuver during a Senate GOP lunch on Thursday.
---

I take this as evidence that at least one person in Congress knows what they're doing

Posted by: Don Black (was DB) at November 30, 2023 06:07 PM (geLO8)

54
'This won't hurt at all Rand' said in Ernst.

Posted by: Divide by Zero at November 30, 2023 06:08 PM (enJYY)

55 Joni Ernst is the self-proclaimed "combat veteran" who was never actually in combat.
Posted by: Mark1971 at November 30, 2023 05:57 PM (xPl2J)

That LYING BITCH!!!!
Posted by: Brian Williams
--------
You tell 'em!

Posted by: Richard Blumenthal at November 30, 2023 06:08 PM (XeU6L)

56 I don't know what happened. Usually I'm aces at swallowing.

Posted by: Senator Joni E at November 30, 2023 06:08 PM (Odg76)

57 https://tinyurl.com/2p8yzhya
23 seconds; at least he didn't say "Angola punches above its weight."
Posted by: andycanuck (krqg6) at November 30, 2023 06:06 PM (krqg6)

Angola? My doc says I should drink less coffee, get more sleep, and I could get rid of my angola.

Over my dead body, I say.

Posted by: BurtTC at November 30, 2023 06:08 PM (dGCAG)

58 48 I once gave the Heineken maneuver to the Shanana of Twain.

Posted by: Joe Biden at November 30, 2023 06:06 PM (rkEby)

Good thing you didn't try it with Carrie Underwood; she would've knocked your headlights out.

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at November 30, 2023 06:08 PM (ynpvh)

59 I understand the sentiment about Joni "I'm going to make them squeal like a pig" Ernst, but look to Republicans for any principles. Good on you, Dr. Paul.

Posted by: JM in /Ill -- Behold the Manchurian Candidate at November 30, 2023 06:09 PM (IBDwy)

60 Choking on the chicken. Should have left her alone.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at November 30, 2023 06:09 PM (Q4IgG)

61 They'll just put another Queen Ethanol in her place. No worries.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory, red heifer owner at November 30, 2023 06:09 PM (7MSVz)

62 Please to remember you don't have to be an ophthalmologist to do the Heimlich maneuver, but it helps.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at November 30, 2023 06:09 PM (RIvkX)

63 Innernet sez

In this Congress, the average age in the House of Representatives was 57.9 years, and the average age in the Senate was 64 years.

Posted by: Don Black (was DB) at November 30, 2023 06:09 PM (geLO8)

64 Ha, ha!

Insider Paper @TheInsiderPaper 3h
BREAKING: Vox to layoff several employees, Union says

Posted by: andycanuck (krqg6) at November 30, 2023 06:09 PM (krqg6)

65 60 Choking on the chicken. Should have left her alone.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at November 30, 2023 06:09 PM (Q4IgG)

Whose chicken was she choking at a pork and beef event?

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at November 30, 2023 06:10 PM (ynpvh)

66 lunch - which consisted of pork chops...
-----

Well, that's a hell of a surprise...pork.
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc, etc. at November 30, 2023 05:52 PM (XeU6L)

The image in the Xcretion is a steak. As in beef.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden at November 30, 2023 06:10 PM (Zz0t1)

67 Isn't Rand Paul a dentist? What does the doctors union think about him denying a perfectly good doctor a chance to make a living. What if that doctor was a trans person of color. This proves that Rand Paul is a racist transphobic scab.

Posted by: Lemmiwinks at November 30, 2023 06:10 PM (qEcv1)

68 She needs to strengthen her throat muscles. How the hell did she make it to the Senate without choking on things in your mouth?

Posted by: Kamala Harris at November 30, 2023 06:10 PM (rkEby)

69 67 Isn't Rand Paul a dentist? What does the doctors union think about him denying a perfectly good doctor a chance to make a living. What if that doctor was a trans person of color. This proves that Rand Paul is a racist transphobic scab.
Posted by: Lemmiwinks at November 30, 2023 06:10 PM (qEcv1)

Eye Doctor

Posted by: It's me donna at November 30, 2023 06:11 PM (bs+z0)

70 62 Please to remember you don't have to be an ophthalmologist to do the Heimlich maneuver, but it helps.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at November 30, 2023 06:09 PM (RIvkX)

I SEE what you did there.

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at November 30, 2023 06:11 PM (ynpvh)

71 Isn't Rand Paul a dentist? What does the doctors union think about him denying a perfectly good doctor a chance to make a living. What if that doctor was a trans person of color. This proves that Rand Paul is a racist transphobic scab.
Posted by: Lemmiwinks at November 30, 2023 06:10 PM (qEcv1)

I thought he was an ophthalmologist.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden at November 30, 2023 06:11 PM (Zz0t1)

72 Damn!

Posted by: Zombie Cass Elliot at November 30, 2023 06:11 PM (7cPAc)

73 In this Congress, the average age in the House of Representatives was 57.9 years, and the average age in the Senate was 64 years.
Posted by: Don Black (was DB) at November 30, 2023 06:09 PM (geLO

Yeah, but before Fiendstein croaked, the average in the Senate was 87.

Posted by: BurtTC at November 30, 2023 06:11 PM (dGCAG)

74 I thought he was an ophthalmologist.
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden at November 30, 2023 06:11 PM (Zz0t1)

And MD

Posted by: JM in /Ill -- Behold the Manchurian Candidate at November 30, 2023 06:12 PM (IBDwy)

75 Joni isn't on my wish to stroke out list yet so I give Rand a pass, no point not being worth saving

Posted by: Skip at November 30, 2023 06:13 PM (fwDg9)

76 Is Rand a gastroenterologist?

Posted by: Axeman at November 30, 2023 06:13 PM (krQz2)

77 No other link/info so maybe just ordinary De,/local corruption and not 10% for the Big Guy?

Insider Paper @TheInsiderPaper 5h
JUST IN - Inspector general launches probe into Biden administration's decision to build new FBI headquarters in Maryland - AP

Posted by: andycanuck (krqg6) at November 30, 2023 06:13 PM (krqg6)

78 Is anyone here an opthalmologist?

Posted by: Obligatory Seinfeld reference at November 30, 2023 06:13 PM (NS6hJ)

79 Insider Paper @TheInsiderPaper 3h
BREAKING: Vox to layoff several employees, Union says

----

Soy milk producers hardest hit

Posted by: Lemmiwinks at November 30, 2023 06:14 PM (qEcv1)

80 I thought he was an ophthalmologist.
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden at November 30, 2023 06:11 PM (Zz0t1)

And MD
Posted by: JM
----
All ophthalmologist are MD's...

Posted by: lin-duh at November 30, 2023 06:14 PM (1yY5C)

81 As an early Christmas present for you, I am sending a special wish on the North Star that each and every one of you be forced to give a lingerie-clad Stacey Abrams the Heimlich Maneuver after she attempts to swallow a Costco hot dog in one bite.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger at November 30, 2023 06:14 PM (G4N80)

82 De, = Dem.

doh!

Posted by: andycanuck (krqg6) at November 30, 2023 06:14 PM (krqg6)

83 I INSIST that the news media refer to him as SENATOR DOCTOR Paul

Posted by: Don Black (was DB) at November 30, 2023 06:14 PM (geLO8)

84
And MD
Posted by: JM
----
All ophthalmologist are MD's...
Posted by: lin-duh at November 30, 2023 06:14 PM (1yY5C)

They can prescribe drugs.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden at November 30, 2023 06:15 PM (Zz0t1)

85 Isn't Rand Paul a dentist? What does the doctors union think about him denying a perfectly good doctor a chance to make a living. What if that doctor was a trans person of color. This proves that Rand Paul is a racist transphobic scab.
Posted by: Lemmiwinks at November 30, 2023 06:10 PM (qEcv1)
---
He has a talent for causing things pain?

Posted by: Axeman at November 30, 2023 06:15 PM (krQz2)

86 Frankin' Ernst

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at November 30, 2023 06:15 PM (63Dwl)

87
Cheap quips aside, Rand Paul is a decent dude. My wife knows the Heimlich maneuver and has saved both young and elderly without questioning their political preversion.

It's worth knowing, especially with friends on the conservative side.

Posted by: Divide by Zero at November 30, 2023 06:15 PM (enJYY)

88 tinyurl.com/ycybwhae

Senator Angus King of Maine, is proposing the GOSAFE Act to limit on the number of bullets a gun can hold as part of new legislation to regulate how firearms are manufactured & sold in the US.
“Nothing in this bill affects the traditional gun culture we have in Maine, state hunting laws mandate no more than five rounds in a hunting rifle, & can carry one spare round" King said.
Rifles & shotguns would be barred from having magazines that carry more than 10 rounds, handguns could carry up to 15 rounds
Magazines must be “permanently fixed, meaning the firearm cannot accept a detachable, high-capacity magazine that would increase the number of rounds that can be fired before reloading & make reloading easier.
Guns that don’t meet the regulations could no longer be sold, resold or manufactured under the bill, those who already own such guns could keep them or pass them on to family members. There also would be a federal gun buyback program
Sen. Susan Collins, R-Maine said she would support a ban on high-capacity magazines & argued, like King, that restrictions should focus more on the functionality of assault-style weapons than on individual models.

Posted by: BetaCuck4Lyfe at November 30, 2023 06:15 PM (9aVck)

89 I INSIST that the news media refer to him as SENATOR DOCTOR Paul
Posted by: Don Black (was DB) at November 30, 2023 06:14 PM (geLO

---
I prefer Doctor Senator Doctor Paul.

Posted by: Axeman at November 30, 2023 06:15 PM (krQz2)

90 Perhaps Jill Biden can help. She's a doctor.

Posted by: Dontcha know at November 30, 2023 06:15 PM (NS6hJ)

91 I thought he was an ophthalmologist.
Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden at November 30, 2023 06:11 PM (Zz0t1)

That's odd. I don't recall seeing him at any of the furry conventions I've attended.

Posted by: BurtTC at November 30, 2023 06:16 PM (dGCAG)

92 Ernst is certainly a sellout working her way up the GOPe leadership rungs, so this is good for Rand, I guess. The future Don owes you a life debt...like Jar Jar. Maybe I mixing my movie metaphors here.

Posted by: Moron Analyst at November 30, 2023 06:16 PM (ycI94)

93 78 Is anyone here an opthalmologist?

----

No but I did sleep at a Holiday Inn last night....

Posted by: Lemmiwinks at November 30, 2023 06:16 PM (qEcv1)

94 87
Cheap quips aside, Rand Paul is a decent dude. My wife knows the Heimlich maneuver and has saved both young and elderly without questioning their political preversion.

It's worth knowing, especially with friends on the conservative side.

Posted by: Divide by Zero at November 30, 2023 06:15 PM (enJYY)

Political perversion?

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at November 30, 2023 06:16 PM (ynpvh)

95
They can prescribe drugs.
Posted by: Sponge
----
And perform surgeries

Posted by: lin-duh at November 30, 2023 06:16 PM (1yY5C)

96 Sen. Susan Collins, R-Maine

Time for her to retire

Posted by: It's me donna at November 30, 2023 06:16 PM (bs+z0)

97 Safer guns and safer bullets...

Posted by: Jocelyn Elders at November 30, 2023 06:16 PM (NS6hJ)

98 He works on eye teeth.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at November 30, 2023 06:17 PM (63Dwl)

99 lin-duh, how's the dining table progressing?

Posted by: Ben Had at November 30, 2023 06:17 PM (K+bmq)

100 BREAKING: Vox to layoff several employees, Union says
---
WaPo announced they're laying off 240 today too. Sad!

Posted by: Meade Lux Lewis, Domestic Terrorist at November 30, 2023 06:17 PM (woPEM)

101 R A W S A L E R T S @rawsalerts 2h
🚨#BREAKING: The FBI has just released photos of suspects wanted for carjacking an FBI agent at gunpoint in Washington, D.C. The FBI is offering a reward of up to $10,000 for information.
-----------
Might need jury nullification here if they're caught.

Posted by: andycanuck (krqg6) at November 30, 2023 06:17 PM (krqg6)

102 >>>> 19 Let's hope Rand Paul isn't around when Nikki Haley is choking.

Posted by: Mark1971

>>>> 22 I would have gone for the Hindenburg Maneuver, but then I'm not a doctor.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero43
*********
LOL

Posted by: iamfelix at November 30, 2023 06:17 PM (YXuNc)

103 Sen. Susan Collins, R-Maine

Time for her to retire
Posted by: It's me donna at November 30, 2023 06:16 PM (bs+z0)
----
Using Ace's time machine to post from 2012?

Posted by: Axeman at November 30, 2023 06:17 PM (krQz2)

104 Posted by: BetaCuck4Lyfe at November 30, 2023 06:15 PM (9aVck)

Sorry, but how exactly does that comport with the Constitution, Senator Anus King?
I don't remember the 2nd Amendment being about hunting for sport.

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at November 30, 2023 06:17 PM (ynpvh)

105 Is anyone here an opthalmologist?
Posted by: Obligatory Seinfeld reference at November 30, 2023 06:13 PM (NS6hJ)

The sea was angry that day.....

Posted by: BurtTC at November 30, 2023 06:17 PM (dGCAG)

106 >>>What's the story there?

It goes back to 2014 when Ernst was first running for Senate and made the combat veteran claim in ads. I think she even claimed that she led troops in combat. She never received the Combat Action Badge but said she could call herself a combat veteran because of the zone she served in. I guess this is technically correct but using the term combat veteran leaves voters with certain impression that wasn't true.

Posted by: Mark1971 at November 30, 2023 06:18 PM (xPl2J)

107 >Magazines must be “permanently fixed

how do you reload a magazine that can't be removed from the gun

Posted by: Don Black (was DB) at November 30, 2023 06:18 PM (geLO8)

108 I did the Heimlich on a guy one time.

You really have to hit them. Hard. First time I was sorta gentle. Second time he threw up.

Posted by: TexasDan at November 30, 2023 06:18 PM (ZXYDZ)

109 Posted by: BetaCuck4Lyfe at November 30, 2023 06:15 PM (9aVck

I don’t think hate is a strong enough word for any republican that signs off on this.

Posted by: thathalfrican - The One at November 30, 2023 06:18 PM (E5klH)

110 *lingerie-clad Stacey Abrams*

Posted by: Shudders at November 30, 2023 06:18 PM (NS6hJ)

111 BREAKING: Vox to layoff several employees, Union says
---
I'm trying to decide, is that schade better than the freude?

Posted by: Axeman at November 30, 2023 06:19 PM (krQz2)

112
Political perversion?

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at November 30, 2023 06:16 PM

Preversion, not perversion. I think it's a rip off from Dr. Strangelove.

Posted by: Divide by Zero at November 30, 2023 06:19 PM (enJYY)

113 107 >Magazines must be “permanently fixed

how do you reload a magazine that can't be removed from the gun

Posted by: Don Black (was DB) at November 30, 2023 06:18 PM (geLO

Very carefully?

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at November 30, 2023 06:19 PM (ynpvh)

114 Posted by: Don Black (was DB) at November 30, 2023 06:18 PM (geLO

Feature. Not a bug.

Posted by: thathalfrican - The One at November 30, 2023 06:19 PM (E5klH)

115 lin-duh, how's the dining table progressing?
Posted by: Ben Had
----
The raw boards are in the garage...

Posted by: lin-duh at November 30, 2023 06:19 PM (1yY5C)

116 Writes it down. Memo to self ... cop a feel method # 287
the Himelick Manuvir

Posted by: Droolin Jo Bite Me at November 30, 2023 06:19 PM (7cPAc)

117 The Heineken Maneuver:

Pour skunky beer down her throat.

--Stuff Jeff Hanneman would say, probably.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Aspiring Codger at November 30, 2023 06:20 PM (T/Lqj)

118 Is anyone here an opthalmologist?
Posted by: Obligatory Seinfeld reference at November 30, 2023 06:13 PM (NS6hJ)

The sea was angry that day.....
Posted by: BurtTC at November 30, 2023 06:17 PM (dGCAG)
---
Like an old man in the deli sending back soup.

Posted by: Axeman at November 30, 2023 06:20 PM (krQz2)

119 It goes back to 2014 when Ernst was first running for Senate and made the combat veteran claim in ads. I think she even claimed that she led troops in combat. She never received the Combat Action Badge but said she could call herself a combat veteran because of the zone she served in. I guess this is technically correct but using the term combat veteran leaves voters with certain impression that wasn't true.
Posted by: Mark1971 at November 30, 2023 06:18 PM (xPl2J)

Thanks. Yeah, my recollection is the threshold for getting the badge is pretty low. So if she didn't even get one, she wasn't there long enough for her coffee to cool off.

Posted by: BurtTC at November 30, 2023 06:20 PM (dGCAG)

120 116 Writes it down. Memo to self ... cop a feel method # 287
the Himelick Manuvir
Posted by: Droolin Jo Bite Me at November 30, 2023 06:19 PM (7cPAc)

If Biden tried that his bones would shatter

Posted by: It's me donna at November 30, 2023 06:20 PM (bs+z0)

121 *The raw boards are in the garage...*

The chair is against the wall.

Posted by: Uknowho at November 30, 2023 06:20 PM (NS6hJ)

122 If it was the Heimlich, why were his pants around his ankles?

Posted by: Field Marshal Zhukov at November 30, 2023 06:20 PM (nnp+f)

123 If it had been Sen Paul choking the RINOs would have been fighting Democrats to see who could sell the most tickets to the event.

Posted by: An Observation sez China Joe not my president at November 30, 2023 06:21 PM (CecP5)

124 122 If it was the Heimlich, why were his pants around his ankles?

Posted by: Field Marshal Zhukov at November 30, 2023 06:20 PM (nnp+f)

He was taking her temperature at the same time?

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at November 30, 2023 06:21 PM (ynpvh)

125 Insider Corner @insiderscorner 4h
Representative George Santos submits a resolution seeking the expulsion of Representative Jamaal Bowman from Congress, citing the false fire alarm incident in a congressional building on September 30.
===
Goose. Sauce. Gander. Some assembly required.

Posted by: andycanuck (krqg6) at November 30, 2023 06:21 PM (krqg6)

126 BBL... got to pick up some kids from school

Posted by: lin-duh at November 30, 2023 06:21 PM (1yY5C)

127 >>I don’t think hate is a strong enough word for any republican that signs off on this.

what?

Posted by: John Cornyn at November 30, 2023 06:21 PM (8uzBS)

128 "how do you reload a magazine that can't be removed from the gun

Posted by: Don Black (was DB) "

With rifles you can go back to tube magazines mounted under the barrel.

... works best with short rounds though.

Posted by: FeatherBlade at November 30, 2023 06:22 PM (ou9hh)

129 BBL... got to pick up some kids from school
Posted by: lin-duh at November 30, 2023 06:21 PM (1yY5C)

Are they yours?

Should we alert the authorities?

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Aspiring Codger at November 30, 2023 06:22 PM (T/Lqj)

130 Rand Paul's payroll office the same as anyone else in Congress.

Does that matter?

Probably..

Posted by: Martini Farmer at November 30, 2023 06:22 PM (Q4IgG)

131 107 >Magazines must be “permanently fixed
how do you reload a magazine that can't be removed from the gun
Posted by: Don Black (was DB) at November 30, 2023 06:18 PM
---------------
Have you never watched a John Wayne movie or "Hobo with a Shotgun"? #InternalMagazines

Posted by: BetaCuck4Lyfe at November 30, 2023 06:23 PM (9aVck)

132 Ya mean he bent her over and gave her a reach around from behind. Oh my.
Posted by: Ben Had at November 30, 2023 06:02 PM (K+bmq)
____________________

Barney Frank used to give House pages the Heimlich maneuver. Over and over.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at November 30, 2023 06:23 PM (YqDXo)

133 "got to pick up some kids from school"

Get a couple extra for me.

Posted by: The perv down the block at November 30, 2023 06:23 PM (NS6hJ)

134 The how many rounds a firearm weapon can hold has left the barn about 200 years ago, not getting those cows back in the barn.

Posted by: Skip at November 30, 2023 06:23 PM (fwDg9)

135 If it was the Heimlich, why were his pants around his ankles?
Posted by: Field Marshal Zhukov

Perhaps you're speaking of the Himlick maneuver.

Posted by: Tonypete at November 30, 2023 06:23 PM (SAX5G)

136 He was taking her temperature at the same time?
Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at November 30, 2023 06:21 PM (ynpvh)

Or was he taking... or perhaps giving, a pap smear?

Posted by: BurtTC at November 30, 2023 06:23 PM (dGCAG)

137 Posted by: The perv down the block at November 30, 2023 06:23 PM (NS6hJ)

Does the secret service know you’re posting here?

Posted by: thathalfrican - The One at November 30, 2023 06:24 PM (E5klH)

138 >>> and no country more important than Angola."

https://tinyurl.com/2p8yzhya
23 seconds; at least he didn't say "Angola punches above its weight."

Posted by: andycanuck (krqg6)
---

What's up with Angola? When I was a kid it was the Russians and Cubans now it's the Chinese. What's in Angola?

Posted by: Braenyard at November 30, 2023 06:24 PM (p+6gN)

139 BREAKING: Vox to layoff several employees, Union says
-------------------

Merry Christmas!

Posted by: Old Man Potter at November 30, 2023 06:24 PM (Rebja)

140 If it was the Heimlich, why were his pants around his ankles?
Posted by: Field Marshal Zhukov
___________________

The rest of the Senate: "Get a room!"

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at November 30, 2023 06:24 PM (YqDXo)

141 Why don't senators use book marks?

Posted by: They just bend over the pages at November 30, 2023 06:24 PM (NS6hJ)

142 "how do you reload a magazine that can't be removed from the gun

Posted by: Don Black (was DB) "

With rifles you can go back to tube magazines mounted under the barrel.

... works best with short rounds though.
Posted by: FeatherBlade at November 30, 2023 06:22 PM (ou9hh)

I don't know why we don't just go back to muzzle loaded muskets.

If it was good enough for the Founding Fathers.....

Posted by: BurtTC at November 30, 2023 06:25 PM (dGCAG)

143 What's up with Angola? When I was a kid it was the Russians and Cubans now it's the Chinese. What's in Angola?
Posted by: Braenyard at November 30, 2023 06:24 PM (p+6gN)
________________

A buttload of Angolans. Altogether, worth ... look, a squirrel!

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at November 30, 2023 06:25 PM (YqDXo)

144 Um there is an episode on cold case files of a dentist who raped his patients. Hey with Rand Paul's lineage that could NEVER happen..

Posted by: I'm Gumby Damn It! at November 30, 2023 06:25 PM (7cPAc)

145 Angola isn't that a prison or something?

Posted by: Ben Had at November 30, 2023 06:26 PM (K+bmq)

146 Here is WAPO's resident imbecile Phillip Bump on Elon Musk's suggestion that woke advertisers that don't like his views can just move on down the line:

"Once again: Speaking freely doesn’t mean speaking without consequence."
https://tinyurl.com/yfa7xkum

I read this idiocy so you wouldn't have to - but let me spare you - Bump is barely literate here - his logic is that of a child. When Philip means consequences - he expressly means not him and his follow buffoons on the left - if that happens then he's childishly all of an outrage. Anyone that writes like Bump does is essentially an unemployable mental patient...

Posted by: Boswell at November 30, 2023 06:26 PM (K+UlC)

147 132 Ya mean he bent her over and gave her a reach around from behind. Oh my.
Posted by: Ben Had
---

She's got the rump.

Posted by: Braenyard at November 30, 2023 06:26 PM (p+6gN)

148 How do you separate the men from the boys on Capitol Hill?

Posted by: With a crowbar at November 30, 2023 06:26 PM (NS6hJ)

149 When Biden did that Cornpop thing, all I could think about was how the kids in middle school called me Johnny Cornhole all the time. They said I looked like a Beluga whale, too, but I got over that because, you know, it's just true.

Posted by: John Cornyn at November 30, 2023 06:26 PM (woPEM)

150 Note how Paul has been treated, beaten by a leftist neighbor, shot at, at a baseball game. Now note how he treats others.

Yeah, if the left had any shame, they wouldn't be leftists.

Posted by: An Observation sez China Joe not my president at November 30, 2023 06:26 PM (CecP5)

151 Chink in the Armour

Posted by: ?????????????? at November 30, 2023 06:27 PM (7cPAc)

152 I just think Senator Whatsisface from Maine doesn't know shit about guns

Posted by: Don Black (was DB) at November 30, 2023 06:27 PM (geLO8)

153 >>> Magazines must be “permanently fixed, meaning the firearm cannot accept a detachable, high-capacity magazine that would increase the number of rounds that can be fired before reloading & make reloading easier.

Fairly certain that pistol mags cannot be reloaded without removing them. It's a geometry problem... unless you slide it into the chamber and then bring it back while pushing it down into the magazine.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at November 30, 2023 06:28 PM (cOq4q)

154 What's in Angola?
-------------
Diversity and Inclusion mines.

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at November 30, 2023 06:28 PM (Rebja)

155 >>> Magazines must be “permanently fixed, meaning the firearm cannot accept a detachable, high-capacity magazine that would increase the number of rounds that can be fired before reloading & make reloading easier.

Fairly certain that pistol mags cannot be reloaded without removing them. It's a geometry problem... unless you slide it into the chamber and then bring it back while pushing it down into the magazine.

So they'd be mandating a new invention.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at November 30, 2023 06:29 PM (cOq4q)

156 What's in Angola?
_________________

A bunch of people angling for reparations.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at November 30, 2023 06:29 PM (YqDXo)

157 BREAKING: Vox to layoff several employees, Union says

LEARN TO CODE.

Posted by: An Observation sez China Joe not my president at November 30, 2023 06:29 PM (CecP5)

158 Ashamed to say I broke my grandmother's sternum when I was giving her the Heimlech . My hands slipped upward before one of my compressions. I did dislodge the piece of steak enough where she could breathe but it was still stuck. The ER doctor was pissy to me ( he's the one who said I broke her sternum) and I really wanted to break his sternum but my grandma had been through enough.

Posted by: Drive by at November 30, 2023 06:29 PM (MNhXM)

159 Wait. So Rand Paul used a technique (invented by Jewish man Henry Judah Heimlich) to save a life? I'm just waiting for the Ivy League class and all those impressed by them to condemn Paul for a) saving a "right-winger" and, worse, b) listening to a Jew.

Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel Remembers Babbitt and Perna at November 30, 2023 06:30 PM (aXxgO)

160 Have you never watched a John Wayne movie or "Hobo with a Shotgun"? #InternalMagazines
Posted by: BetaCuck4Lyfe at November 30, 2023 06:23 PM (9aVck)

As a matter of fact yes heh heh...

Posted by: ?????????????? at November 30, 2023 06:30 PM (7cPAc)

161 Angola is a varian of angina. You need an Angola vax to prevent a full blown angina.

Posted by: runner at November 30, 2023 06:30 PM (V13WU)

162 161 Angola is a varian of angina. You need an Angola vax to prevent a full blown angina.

Posted by: runner at November 30, 2023 06:30 PM (V13WU)

Doesn't that give you COVID?

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at November 30, 2023 06:31 PM (ynpvh)

163 I don't know why we don't just go back to muzzle loaded muskets.

If it was good enough for the Founding Fathers.....
Posted by: BurtTC

If only them dumb bastards knew that technology marches on and created something like a "Patent Office" to even encourage invention.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at November 30, 2023 06:32 PM (cOq4q)

164 146 Here is WAPO's resident imbecile Phillip Bump on Elon Musk's suggestion that woke advertisers that don't like his views can just move on down the line:

"Once again: Speaking freely doesn’t mean speaking without consequence."
https://tinyurl.com/yfa7xkum ...

Yes, yes, yes. Proper response below:

---
I think Elon may have started something:

https://tinyurl.com/bdhcxvfe

Yes, there's NSFW language here.

Posted by: Blanco Basura

Posted by: Braenyard at November 30, 2023 06:32 PM (p+6gN)

165 What's up with Angola? When I was a kid it was the Russians and Cubans now it's the Chinese. What's in Angola?
--------
Bauxite off the top of my head. Probably more minerals.

Posted by: andycanuck (krqg6) at November 30, 2023 06:32 PM (krqg6)

166 Angola is a varian of angina. You need an Angola vax to prevent a full blown angina.

Posted by: runner at November 30, 2023 06:30 PM (V13WU)

Doesn't that give you COVID?
Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at November 30, 2023 06:31 PM (ynpvh

you need an angola booster to prevent that

Posted by: runner at November 30, 2023 06:33 PM (V13WU)

167 >>A bunch of people angling for reparations.

now that would set a precedent! "Your country owes me for not being enslaved!!!"

dems: Hey, I got an idea!

Posted by: DanMan at November 30, 2023 06:33 PM (8uzBS)

168 how do you reload a magazine that can't be removed from the gun

Posted by: Don Black (was DB) at November 30, 2023 06:18 PM (geLO

Very carefully?
Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at November

...

Stripper clips. Which is not videos you perverts.

It's called an internal magazine on the garand I thi n k

Posted by: TexasDan at November 30, 2023 06:33 PM (WlVGF)

169 158 Ashamed to say I broke my grandmother's sternum when I was giving her the Heimlech . My hands slipped upward before one of my compressions. I did dislodge the piece of steak enough where she could breathe but it was still stuck. The ER doctor was pissy to me ( he's the one who said I broke her sternum) and I really wanted to break his sternum but my grandma had been through enough.
Posted by: Drive by at November 30, 2023 06:29 PM (MNhXM)

Ouch. feel bettah!

Posted by: ?????????????? at November 30, 2023 06:34 PM (7cPAc)

170 163 I don't know why we don't just go back to muzzle loaded muskets.
----------------
I'd settle for a gladius.

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at November 30, 2023 06:34 PM (Rebja)

171 pistol mags cannot be reloaded without removing them.

Steyr-Hahn.
https://duckduckgo.com/?q=Steyr+stripper+clip+pistols
+&t=fpas&iax=images&ia=images
&iai=http%3A%2F%2Frevivaler.com%
2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%
2F2018%2F03%2FSteyr-Model-1912-6a.jpg

Posted by: Commissar of Plenty and Lysenkoism in solidarity with the struggle to maintain Moron standards at November 30, 2023 06:34 PM (LgeS9)

172 19 "Israeli police said the two shooters, who were from east Jerusalem, were shot and killed by Israel Defense Forces (IDF) soldiers in the area. A civilian was also shot and killed during the exchange.'

===
My understanding is a civilian also fired on the attackers. not shot and killed.
Posted by: San Franpsycho at November 30, 2023 01:20 PM (RIvkX)
===

CORRECTION: the civilian was killed by soldiers who thought he was also a terrorist.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at November 30, 2023 06:34 PM (RIvkX)

173 BIDEN TO ANGOLAN PRES. LOURENÇO: "Africa - 1 Billion people and critically important for how it functions for the whole world - and no country more important than Angola."

Quick, Joe. What's Angola's capital city and its number one export?

Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel Remembers Babbitt and Perna at November 30, 2023 06:34 PM (aXxgO)

174 At least he didn't do the Hind Lick Maneuver. That's pert near a Dirty Sanchez.

Posted by: BifBewalski at November 30, 2023 06:34 PM (3CCua)

175 pistol mags cannot be reloaded without removing them.

Mauser C96.

Posted by: Commissar of Plenty and Lysenkoism in solidarity with the struggle to maintain Moron standards at November 30, 2023 06:35 PM (LgeS9)

176 Angola is the second largest oil producer in Africa. Nigeria being no 1.

Posted by: runner at November 30, 2023 06:35 PM (V13WU)

177 170 163 I don't know why we don't just go back to muzzle loaded muskets.
----------------
I'd settle for a gladius.

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at November 30, 2023 06:34 PM (Rebja)

Is that a gladius on your hip, or are you just happy to see me?

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at November 30, 2023 06:35 PM (ynpvh)

178 ... works best with short rounds though.
Posted by: FeatherBlade at November 30, 2023 06:22 PM (ou9hh)
I don't know why we don't just go back to muzzle loaded muskets.
If it was good enough for the Founding Fathers.....
Posted by: BurtTC at November 30, 2023 06:25 PM (dGCAG)
--------------
Los Angeles Times - In Defense of the Right to Bear Flintlock Muskets
https://tinyurl.com/yc284rre
...the framers of the Bill of Rights intended that the right of every American citizen to bear flintlock muskets and pistols should not be infringed.
American citizens today--without fingerprinting, without a license, without a background check--ought to be able to own as many flintlock muskets and pistols as they want. If they want to fill up their garages with them, that should be nobody’s business but their own. If they want to load them up into their pick-up trucks and drive around public streets with them, the Constitution says they can...

Posted by: BetaCuck4Lyfe at November 30, 2023 06:35 PM (9aVck)

179 Clip and magazine are interchangeable words for non gun people or gun control liberals.

Posted by: Drive by at November 30, 2023 06:36 PM (MNhXM)

180 Did Rand get to play "Come In Tokyo"?

Posted by: wth at November 30, 2023 06:36 PM (v0R5T)

181 Yes, there's NSFW language here.

Posted by: Blanco Basura
Posted by: Braenyard

Point of priveledge here - Does the fact that Elon used the f bomb on public media, concerning his business, now mean that 'GFY' is now a SFW term?

Seems like it to me. (But I'm a potty mouth from since I was a kid.)

Posted by: Tonypete at November 30, 2023 06:36 PM (SAX5G)

182 CORRECTION: the civilian was killed by soldiers who thought he was also a terrorist.
Posted by: San Franpsycho at November 30, 2023 06:34 PM (RIvkX)

Not good

Posted by: It's me donna at November 30, 2023 06:36 PM (bs+z0)

183 153 >>> Magazines must be “permanently fixed, meaning the firearm cannot accept a detachable, high-capacity magazine that would increase the number of rounds that can be fired before reloading & make reloading easier.

Fairly certain that pistol mags cannot be reloaded without removing them. It's a geometry problem... unless you slide it into the chamber and then bring it back while pushing it down into the magazine.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher
-----

That will create a problem.

Posted by: Braenyard at November 30, 2023 06:36 PM (p+6gN)

184 ...

Stripper clips. Which is not videos you perverts.

It's called an internal magazine on the garand I thi n k
Posted by: TexasDan

No. No. No. Stripper Clips are what the girls use to keep their singles sorted out after the stage dance but before the lap dance. Aka, g-string.

Posted by: BifBewalski at November 30, 2023 06:37 PM (3CCua)

185 Mauser C96.
Posted by: Commissar of Plenty and Lysenkoism in solidarity with the struggle to maintain Moron standards at November 30, 2023 06:35 PM (LgeS9)

Yeah but it comes with an illegal attachable stock😀

Posted by: Drive by at November 30, 2023 06:37 PM (MNhXM)

186 I believe Beau Biden got a combat infantry badge for fighting an underage Iraqi hooker over her fee. His purple heart was for a vicious paper cut he got writing surrender papers.

Posted by: An Observation sez China Joe not my president at November 30, 2023 06:37 PM (CecP5)

187 Wait. So Rand Paul used a technique (invented by Jewish man Henry Judah Heimlich) to save a life? I'm just waiting for the Ivy League class and all those impressed by them to condemn Paul for a) saving a "right-winger" and, worse, b) listening to a Jew.
Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel

Heimlich went to Cornell.

Posted by: TexasDan at November 30, 2023 06:37 PM (zXoXa)

188 168 how do you reload a magazine that can't be removed from the gun

Posted by: Don Black (was DB) at November 30, 2023 06:18 PM (geLO

Very carefully?
Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at November
...
Stripper clips. Which is not videos you perverts.
It's called an internal magazine on the garand I thi n k
Posted by: TexasDan at November 30, 2023 06:33 PM (WlVGF)

My Dad told me all about M1 thumb...
When he was in the Philippines in WW2, he said a kid (probably all of 13), one of the rebels, came up to him and pointed toward the clip and his M1. Kid knew the M1 bit back.

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at November 30, 2023 06:37 PM (ynpvh)

189 >>A bunch of people angling for reparations.

now that would set a precedent! "Your country owes me for not being enslaved!!!"

Posted by: DanMan at November 30, 2023 06:33 PM (8uzBS)
__________________

"And for leaving me in this shitty country! You OWE me!"

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at November 30, 2023 06:38 PM (YqDXo)

190 FJB needs to learn that. You get a free boob feel.
Posted by: Mr Gaga at November 30, 2023 05:57 PM (ZtgZZ)
.......

The girls he feels don't have boobs yet.

Posted by: wth at November 30, 2023 06:39 PM (v0R5T)

191 178 ... works best with short rounds though.
Posted by: FeatherBlade at November 30, 2023 06:22 PM (ou9hh)
I don't know why we don't just go back to muzzle loaded muskets.
If it was good enough for the Founding Fathers.....
Posted by: BurtTC at November 30, 2023 06:25 PM (dGCAG)
--------------
Los Angeles Times - In Defense of the Right to Bear Flintlock Muskets
https://tinyurl.com/yc284rre
...the framers of the Bill of Rights intended that the right of every American citizen to bear flintlock muskets and pistols should not be infringed.
American citizens today--without fingerprinting, without a license, without a background check--ought to be able to own as many flintlock muskets and pistols as they want. If they want to fill up their garages with them, that should be nobody’s business but their own. If they want to load them up into their pick-up trucks and drive around public streets with them, the Constitution says they can...

Posted by: BetaCuck4Lyfe at November 30, 2023 06:35 PM (9aVck)

Obviously never heard of the Puckle gun. Or the Girandoni.

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at November 30, 2023 06:39 PM (ynpvh)

192 I think Elon may have started something:

https://tinyurl.com/bdhcxvfe

Yes, there's NSFW language here.

OMG! That's not just GOLD, Jerry. That's GOLD-PLATED PLATINUM ENCRUSTED WITH DIAMONDS!

What a simply brutal and exquisite response. Quote of the year material.

Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel Remembers Babbitt and Perna at November 30, 2023 06:39 PM (aXxgO)

193 180 Did Rand get to play "Come In Tokyo"?

Posted by: wth at November 30, 2023 06:36 PM (v0R5T)

Hello, IOWA!

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at November 30, 2023 06:40 PM (ynpvh)

194 FJB needs to learn that. You get a free boob feel.
Posted by: Mr Gaga at November 30, 2023 05:57 PM (ZtgZZ)
.......

The girls he feels don't have boobs yet.
Posted by: wth at November 30, 2023 06:39 PM (v0R5T)
_________________

Leave St. Greta of Cabbage Patch out of this.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at November 30, 2023 06:41 PM (YqDXo)

195 Flushed and panting, Jodi described the reach-around maneuver.

Posted by: wth at November 30, 2023 06:42 PM (v0R5T)

196 192 I think Elon may have started something:

https://tinyurl.com/bdhcxvfe

Yes, there's NSFW language here.

OMG! That's not just GOLD, Jerry. That's GOLD-PLATED PLATINUM ENCRUSTED WITH DIAMONDS!

What a simply brutal and exquisite response. Quote of the year material.

Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel Remembers Babbitt and Perna at November 30, 2023 06:39 PM (aXxgO)

LOL!
OMG, that was excellent. And she SHOULD go fuck herself; she could use it.

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at November 30, 2023 06:42 PM (ynpvh)

197
While commonly referred to as the Heimlich Maneuver, 'cause lawyers, it is now properly called abdominal thrusts, I believe.

But, truly, who gives a shit?

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at November 30, 2023 06:43 PM (xG4kz)

198 The girls he feels don't have boobs yet.
----------

I have boobs.

Posted by: Chris Christie at November 30, 2023 06:43 PM (bn+UH)

199 195 Flushed and panting, Jodi described the reach-around maneuver.

Posted by: wth at November 30, 2023 06:42 PM (v0R5T)

LOL. Sounds like more than just a medical procedure.

Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at November 30, 2023 06:43 PM (ynpvh)

200 Shanking a bully in the a**hole is legit self defense
https://tinyurl.com/2xt3cwm3

Stabby stabby stabby...

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at November 30, 2023 06:44 PM (cOq4q)

201 TexasDan: "Heimlich went to Cornell."

Why would that stop them from condemning Paul? The cult can and does turn on its own at the drop of a hat when political expediency is involved. Given the rampant anti-semitism on their campuses, my wonder is not out of line.

Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel Remembers Babbitt and Perna at November 30, 2023 06:44 PM (aXxgO)

202 192 I think Elon may have started something:

https://tinyurl.com/bdhcxvfe

It's satire; not a real clip.

Posted by: Liberty at November 30, 2023 06:45 PM (IoAmk)

203 think Elon may have started something:

https://tinyurl.com/bdhcxvfe

Yes, there's NSFW language here.

It'd be kind of cool if that became a new national men's movement..

"Bob, they need to see you in HR."

"GFY".

"What?"

"You heard me. Go. F*ck. Yourself."

Posted by: Bitter Clinger at November 30, 2023 06:45 PM (74ypc)

204 "it is now properly called abdominal thrusts, I believe."

That sounds like something ~completely~ different.

Posted by: FeatherBlade at November 30, 2023 06:45 PM (ou9hh)

205 Hahaha. Go fuck yourselves.

Quote of the rebellion.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory, red heifer owner at November 30, 2023 06:45 PM (7MSVz)

206 I think Elon may have started something:

https://tinyurl.com/bdhcxvfe

Yes, there's NSFW language here.

==

🤣🤣🤣

Posted by: runner at November 30, 2023 06:46 PM (V13WU)

207 While commonly referred to as the Heimlich Maneuver, 'cause lawyers, it is now properly called abdominal thrusts, I believe.
.......

With a bit of pelvis thrown in for fun.

Posted by: wth at November 30, 2023 06:46 PM (v0R5T)

208 204 "it is now properly called abdominal thrusts, I believe."

That sounds like something ~completely~ different.
Posted by: FeatherBlade at November 30, 2023 06:45 PM (ou9hh)

I think I see the girls in the gym doing that.

Posted by: Dash my lace wigs! at November 30, 2023 06:46 PM (OX9vb)

209 I think Elon may have started something:

https://tinyurl.com/bdhcxvfe

Yes, there's NSFW language here.

OMG! That's not just GOLD, Jerry. That's GOLD-PLATED PLATINUM ENCRUSTED WITH DIAMONDS!

What a simply brutal and exquisite response. Quote of the year material.

Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel Remembers Babbitt and Perna at November 30, 2023 06:39 PM (aXxgO)

LOL!
OMG, that was excellent. And she SHOULD go fuck herself; she could use it.
Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia)

Only way it could be better would have been to flip a crunchy peanut butter coated dildo at her.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at November 30, 2023 06:46 PM (cOq4q)

210 Don't Tread on Me Flag < Go Fuck Yourself Flag

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory, red heifer owner at November 30, 2023 06:47 PM (7MSVz)

211 LOL!
OMG, that was excellent. And she SHOULD go fuck herself; she could use it.
Posted by: jim (in Kalifornia) at November 30, 2023 06:42 PM (ynpvh)

Excellent! The chick in that clip there played the imbecilic role of Phillip Bump to a T and the dude in the video gave the right response to that idiocy...beautiful.

Posted by: Boswell at November 30, 2023 06:47 PM (K+UlC)

212 I'm sensing the kid minding his own business. (us) has reached a point of Un comfortability. In recovery an adage states change takes place only when the pain of remaining the same is greater.

Solution: FORM ALLIANCES .. GET OUT OF THE COMFORT ZONE.. REACH OUT.... TWITTER...BLOGS.. ECT..

RECENT POLLS SHOW BLACK MALES LATINS AND OTHERS HAVE SHOWN INTEREST IN VOTING FOR TRUMP. SERIOUSLY GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER OR MEET WITH ME ON THE OTHER SIDE..

Posted by: I'm Gumby Damn It! at November 30, 2023 06:48 PM (7cPAc)

213 Or Gadsen Flag

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory, red heifer owner at November 30, 2023 06:48 PM (7MSVz)

214 Nood

Posted by: Jamaica at November 30, 2023 06:48 PM (Eeb9P)

215 I like how the censor was late.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory, red heifer owner at November 30, 2023 06:49 PM (7MSVz)

216 Um there is an episode on cold case files of a dentist who raped his patients. Hey with Rand Paul's lineage that could NEVER happen..
Posted by: I'm Gumby Damn It! at November 30, 2023 06:25 PM (7cPAc)

Especially since he's not a dentist.

Posted by: Sponge - F*ck Joe Biden at November 30, 2023 06:49 PM (Zz0t1)

217 This is what insurrection looks like.

https://tinyurl.com/mr37ejfd

Posted by: San Franpsycho at November 30, 2023 06:51 PM (RIvkX)

218 The point of the Angus King GOSAFE act is to ban all semiautomatic guns without saying it. It will limit all future gun purchases to bolt action & lever action rifles, pump action shotguns, & revolvers. Once the progressives achieve this they intend to confiscate all semiautomatic firearms and eventually all guns.

Posted by: BetaCuck4Lyfe at November 30, 2023 06:51 PM (9aVck)

219 abdominal thrusts > abominable thrusts

Posted by: Braenyard at November 30, 2023 06:51 PM (p+6gN)

220 Drive: "Ashamed to say I broke my grandmother's sternum when I was giving her the Heimlech..."

Not unexpected given the victim/patient and the circumstances. That's a, if not the, common risk factor in the technique. I guess, according to the doctor, you should've pulled out a spare Red Cross upper torso dummy and perfected your technique before flying solo while she succumbed by its side. At least she'd have an intact ribcage for the coroner.

Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel Remembers Babbitt and Perna at November 30, 2023 06:52 PM (aXxgO)

221 The point of the Angus King GOSAFE act is to ban all semiautomatic guns without saying it. It will limit all future gun purchases to bolt action & lever action rifles, pump action shotguns, & revolvers. Once the progressives achieve this they intend to confiscate all semiautomatic firearms and eventually all guns.
Posted by: BetaCuck4Lyfe

But belt fed gatlins are still good.

Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at November 30, 2023 06:53 PM (cOq4q)

222 I'm not an ophthalmologist, but I'll take a look.

Posted by: Holiday Inn Guest at November 30, 2023 06:53 PM (cHOHf)

223 TexasDan: "Heimlich went to Cornell."

Why would that stop them from condemning Paul? The cult can and does turn on its own at the drop of a hat when political expediency is involved. Given the rampant anti-semitism on their campuses, my wonder is not out of line.
Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel

Oh exactly. I was pointing out what is now ironic.

Posted by: TexasDan at November 30, 2023 06:55 PM (qY8mM)

224
Representative George Santos submits a resolution seeking the expulsion of Representative Jamaal Bowman from Congress, citing the false fire alarm incident in a congressional building on September 30.
===
Goose. Sauce. Gander. Some assembly required.
Posted by: andycanuck (krqg6)

Are they on the verge of going all Hogwartsian and everyone begins casting spells of expulsion at one another?

Because that would be great fun to watch!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at November 30, 2023 06:56 PM (aZBZS)

225 Questions for an Islamic scholar:

Q: When pleasuring oneself with goat, is the goat required to wear a Hijab?

A: Praise be to Allah. Only if the goat is female.

Posted by: An Observation sez China Joe not my president at November 30, 2023 06:56 PM (CecP5)

226 Liberty: "It's satire; not a real clip."

Oh, man. Don't say that. Let me live the dream if only for a moment.

Damn.

Well, it was well done.

Posted by: AnonyBotymousDrivel Remembers Babbitt and Perna at November 30, 2023 06:57 PM (aXxgO)

227
Abdominal thrusts, formerly called the Heimlich maneuver

https://medlineplus.gov/ency/article/000047.htm

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at November 30, 2023 06:58 PM (aZBZS)

228 >>>Once the progressives achieve this they intend to confiscate all semiautomatic firearms and eventually all guns.

Posted by: BetaCuck4Lyfe
---

You will be given the opportunity to turn them in.

Posted by: Braenyard at November 30, 2023 07:02 PM (p+6gN)

229 *lingerie-clad Stacey Abrams*
Posted by: Shudders at November 30, 2023 06:18 PM (NS6hJ)

2XL Carrharts stretched out to diaphanous thinness.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 30, 2023 08:25 PM (bwTHm)

230 Fairly certain that pistol mags cannot be reloaded without removing them. It's a geometry problem... unless you slide it into the chamber and then bring it back while pushing it down into the magazine.

So they'd be mandating a new invention.
Posted by: Itinerant Alley Butcher at November 30, 2023 06:29 PM (cOq4q)

Late to the party, but Mauser C96.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 30, 2023 08:29 PM (bwTHm)

231 Not a good take, dude....

Posted by: Michael B at November 30, 2023 10:48 PM (RCgxq)

232 "178
Los Angeles Times - In Defense of the Right to Bear Flintlock Muskets
https://tinyurl.com/yc284rre
...the framers of the Bill of Rights intended that the right of every American citizen to bear flintlock muskets and pistols should not be infringed.
American citizens today--without fingerprinting, without a license, without a background check--ought to be able to own as many flintlock muskets and pistols as they want. If they want to fill up their garages with them, that should be nobody’s business but their own. If they want to load them up into their pick-up trucks and drive around public streets with them, the Constitution says they can..."

Of course, this is a phenomenally dumb ass argument anyway, unless the LA Times really thinks that the freedom of the press only applies to articles written on parchment with quill pens or printed with hand-set type, or that the police only need warrants to search log cabins and Federal Revival mansions. Arms are weapons that can be carried and operated by one person, period.

Posted by: Joe Smith at November 30, 2023 11:21 PM (QINni)

233 Missed opportunity.

Posted by: SgtHulka at December 01, 2023 04:56 AM (ne/OJ)

234 I'm sure "Dr." Jill Biden would have done the same thing.

Posted by: Rachel Jeantel at December 01, 2023 06:39 PM (WMOkH)

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