aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com
CBD:
cbd at cutjibnewsletter.com
Buck:
buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com
joe mannix:
mannix2024 at proton.me
MisHum:
petmorons at gee mail.com
J.J. Sefton:
sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com
20-Year-Old Man Rushed to Hospital With "Crunched" Lung Due to Masturbating Too Hard
Note that the NY Post files this under the "LIVING" vertical.
I had Overly Aggressive Masturbation's red vinyl Japanese import EP from Stiff Records.
This is not the happy ending for which he was groping. A 20-year-old man survived after being admitted to an intensive care unit with an excruciating lung injury brought on by overly aggressive masturbation, according to a new study in the May issue of the journal Radiology Case Reports.
Is that what that is? I thought it was an invisible leprechaun whistling appreciatively at my Cuban Dick-Press variation.
The self-loving Swiss citizen recently rushed himself to Cantonal Hospital, in the city of Winterthur, after experiencing "crunching" pain and a shortness of breath amid his solo stroking session. Subsequent X-rays revealed the man was suffering from spontaneous pneumomediastinum -- a painful but typically "benign disease" whereby air leaks from the lung and becomes lodged in the rib cage, the Journal of Thoracic Disease reported.
Science Direct described the autoerotic emergency as "a rare condition that usually affects young men in their twenties." Researchers added that smokers are at an increased risk of SPM, which can be brought on by violent coughing, excessive vomiting or strenuous physical exercise.I only smoke after masturbation, if there was too much friction.
... According to Science Direct, the pleasure seeking patient is the first to suffer an SPM after masturbating.No, he's just the first Glory Hound to run off to the hospital to get credit for it. No but seriously, he has set the bar the rest of us will have to struggle huffily to clear.
GAINZZZ.
A Brazilian man had to undergo emergency after reportedly shoving a dumbbell up his butt during an ill-advised attempt at self-gratification.
... So far in 2022, a 54-year-old Brazilian man was admitted to the hospital after shoving a 4.4-pound metal dumbbell up his anus in the pursuit of pleasure, and a 37-year-old self-proclaimed "virgin" from Indonesia got a 6-foot-long string stuck in his penis during a botched sex game.The weird thing is, the botched sex game was just Parcheesi. I don't know how that even works.
Comments
(Jump to bottom of comments)Posted by: clutch cargo - processed in a facility that may contain lead at April 13, 2022 03:34 PM (wAnMi)
Posted by: clutch cargo - processed in a facility that may contain lead at April 13, 2022 03:35 PM (wAnMi)
Posted by: Cannibal Bob at April 13, 2022 03:35 PM (FAxhf)
Posted by: Iris at April 13, 2022 03:36 PM (DibdT)
Posted by: clutch cargo - processed in a facility that may contain lead at April 13, 2022 03:36 PM (wAnMi)
Posted by: Sharkman at April 13, 2022 03:36 PM (HoBpT)
Posted by: vmom stabby stabby stabby stabby stabamillion at April 13, 2022 03:36 PM (EGSGm)
Posted by: ShainS at April 13, 2022 03:36 PM (Emy6L)
Fucking hysterical. Well done Ace.
Posted by: garrett at April 13, 2022 03:36 PM (G9lTz)
Posted by: Tonypete at April 13, 2022 03:36 PM (Msys3)
Posted by: vmom stabby stabby stabby stabby stabamillion at April 13, 2022 03:36 PM (EGSGm)
Posted by: Iris at April 13, 2022 03:36 PM (DibdT)
Don't sell yourself short. There's still plenty of time.
Posted by: clutch cargo - processed in a facility that may contain lead at April 13, 2022 03:37 PM (wAnMi)
Posted by: The_Hoser at April 13, 2022 03:37 PM (7+4Wi)
Posted by: Cannibal Bob at April 13, 2022 03:37 PM (FAxhf)
Posted by: N.L. Urker, oops, I commented again. Sorry, eh. at April 13, 2022 03:37 PM (VdGjU)
Posted by: Iris
Iris - c'mon now. Be honest with yourself. . .
Posted by: Tonypete at April 13, 2022 03:37 PM (Msys3)
Posted by: Ferd Berfall at April 13, 2022 03:38 PM (odhPf)
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at April 13, 2022 03:38 PM (+5UtU)
Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at April 13, 2022 03:38 PM (mZOHK)
Posted by: The_Hoser at April 13, 2022 03:38 PM (7+4Wi)
Posted by: clutch cargo - processed in a facility that may contain lead at April 13, 2022 03:38 PM (wAnMi)
Posted by: Ferd Berfall at April 13, 2022 03:38 PM (odhPf)
___________
Have the Disney people recruited them yet?
Posted by: TrivialPursuer--FJB at April 13, 2022 03:38 PM (k4dH2)
The moon of Endor is notorious for it's lack of lube and ever present smell of charred ewok fur.
Posted by: Flyguy at April 13, 2022 03:39 PM (dpJ62)
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at April 13, 2022 03:38 PM (+5UtU)
Lol. Fen, you amaze me sometimes.
Posted by: Cannibal Bob at April 13, 2022 03:39 PM (FAxhf)
Posted by: Jeffrey Toobin at April 13, 2022 03:39 PM (7+4Wi)
Posted by: ShainS at April 13, 2022 03:39 PM (Emy6L)
Posted by: Ferd Berfall
"I was just walking down the stairs to get a glass of milk, slipped and boom! Million to one shot, Doc!!"
Posted by: Sharkman at April 13, 2022 03:39 PM (HoBpT)
Posted by: vmom stabby stabby stabby stabby stabamillion at April 13, 2022 03:40 PM (EGSGm)
Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls - so bold, so brave at April 13, 2022 03:40 PM (KFhLj)
Posted by: Mr Gaga at April 13, 2022 03:41 PM (KiBMU)
Posted by: William F. 'Buck' Dharma at April 13, 2022 03:41 PM (oedLL)
Posted by: Captain Haiku at April 13, 2022 03:41 PM (uYDdE)
Posted by: runner at April 13, 2022 03:41 PM (NxtrT)
Accurate 80's reference, I can even see the album cover with that little Slip-band around the sleeve in Japanese.
Probably came out around the same time as Devo's "B Stiff" EP, and Lene Lovich's "New Toy" EP.
Posted by: clutch cargo - processed in a facility that may contain lead at April 13, 2022 03:41 PM (wAnMi)
Posted by: Greyman27 at April 13, 2022 03:41 PM (RKLPC)
Posted by: ... at April 13, 2022 03:42 PM (aKLPu)
Vigorously. I guess.
Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls - so bold, so brave
Like bankruptcy. Slooooowly, then all at once.
Posted by: Sharkman at April 13, 2022 03:42 PM (HoBpT)
OBI
Posted by: garrett at April 13, 2022 03:42 PM (G9lTz)
Posted by: runner at April 13, 2022 03:42 PM (NxtrT)
Posted by: klaftern at April 13, 2022 03:42 PM (taPSh)
Posted by: griff at April 13, 2022 03:42 PM (ojv2E)
/s
Posted by: Insomniac - Outlaw. Hoarder. Wrecker. Honker. at April 13, 2022 03:42 PM (II3Gr)
___________
Quick somebody, get HR to give these guys a call! They sound like the perfect people to design new games and rides for the kiddies in our parks!
Posted by: Disney Executives at April 13, 2022 03:42 PM (k4dH2)
Posted by: Ferd Berfall at April 13, 2022 03:38 PM (odhPf)
Easy. A smart bell wouldn't get anywhere near you with that look in your eye.
Posted by: clutch cargo - processed in a facility that may contain lead at April 13, 2022 03:43 PM (wAnMi)
I was going with tension pneumothorax
Posted by: Marcus T at April 13, 2022 03:43 PM (yN/vH)
Posted by: The_Hoser at April 13, 2022 03:43 PM (7+4Wi)
Posted by: runner at April 13, 2022 03:43 PM (NxtrT)
How do you stick a dumb bell up your ass ????
Posted by: Ferd Berfall at April 13, 2022 03:38 PM -
-
All it takes is love.
Posted by: Buttigieg's Hubby at April 13, 2022 03:43 PM (SchQD)
Posted by: Adriane the S'hroom Critic ... at April 13, 2022 03:43 PM (okV1R)
Posted by: nerdygirl at April 13, 2022 03:43 PM (+lVUW)
Probably came out around the same time as Devo's "B Stiff" EP, and Lene Lovich's "New Toy" EP.
Is it? I wondered if I went too far -- if it's a Japanese Import, would it have been a Stiff Records release?
I think I gilded the lily. Or did Stiff put out records in Japan?
Posted by: ace at April 13, 2022 03:43 PM (0G13K)
Posted by: chique l'African Viking Math Queen King of Greenland, the Merciless (don't/stop/believin') at April 13, 2022 03:43 PM (rF64X)
Posted by: Marcus T at April 13, 2022 03:44 PM (yN/vH)
Posted by: clutch cargo - processed in a facility that may contain lead at April 13, 2022 03:44 PM (wAnMi)
Posted by: ace at April 13, 2022 03:44 PM (0G13K)
So does this mean that they'll name it after him? Like Lou Gehrig's Disease?
Posted by: Shooter McGavin at April 13, 2022 03:44 PM (zB5mP)
Posted by: Marcus T at April 13, 2022 03:44 PM (yN/vH)
How would he even know if he's blind!?
Posted by: garrett at April 13, 2022 03:44 PM (G9lTz)
Posted by: nerdygirl at April 13, 2022 03:43 PM (+lVUW)
The blindness too. Don't forget that.
Posted by: Insomniac - Outlaw. Hoarder. Wrecker. Honker. at April 13, 2022 03:44 PM (II3Gr)
Posted by: Xipe Totec at April 13, 2022 03:45 PM (QSjkU)
Posted by: Max Power at April 13, 2022 03:45 PM (k7+BO)
Posted by: Marcus T at April 13, 2022 03:44 PM (yN/vH)
Bestiality is illegal. *gives a hard glare (you know who you are)*
Posted by: Red Turban Someguy - The Republic is already dead! at April 13, 2022 03:45 PM (z5Vrg)
Posted by: David French at April 13, 2022 03:45 PM (tp+tP)
Posted by: Marcus T at April 13, 2022 03:44 PM (yN/vH)
Bestiality is illegal. *gives a hard glare (you know who you are)*
Posted by: Red Turban Someguy - The Republic is already dead! at April 13, 2022 03:45 PM (z5Vrg)
Love is love, bigot.
Posted by: Insomniac - Outlaw. Hoarder. Wrecker. Honker. at April 13, 2022 03:45 PM (II3Gr)
Posted by: The_Hoser at April 13, 2022 03:46 PM (7+4Wi)
Posted by: Marcus T at April 13, 2022 03:46 PM (yN/vH)
https://tinyurl.com/Northman-Epic-Trailer
Posted by: Sharkman at April 13, 2022 03:36 PM
Aww hell yeah!
Posted by: Max Power at April 13, 2022 03:46 PM (k7+BO)
Posted by: ace at April 13, 2022 03:43 PM (0G13K)
No, indeed Stiff had Japanese pressings done - I have one from Madness about 1981. They were kinda big for a little bit there.
Posted by: clutch cargo - processed in a facility that may contain lead at April 13, 2022 03:46 PM (wAnMi)
Posted by: Barack Hussein Obama at April 13, 2022 03:46 PM (G9lTz)
Posted by: Jeffrey Toobin at April 13, 2022 03:46 PM (ESjRY)
Which begs the question, What would the successful sex game entail?
Posted by: Tonypete at April 13, 2022 03:46 PM (Msys3)
Posted by: chique l'African Viking Math Queen King of Greenland, the Merciless (don't/stop/believin') at April 13, 2022 03:46 PM (rF64X)
Posted by: rickb223 at April 13, 2022 03:47 PM (u9avC)
Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 13, 2022 03:47 PM (u73oe)
Posted by: Greg61 at April 13, 2022 03:47 PM (99YkD)
oh okay, thanks. I had these words in my head. My GF was a punk rocker and she would babble about this stuff, but I'm not sure how much I retained.
She tried to get me into Buzzcocks, thinking that was a good entry-level punk bad, which I resisted. And then a couple of years ago I started listening and was like, "Wow, these guys are awesome, why was I being a dick?"
Posted by: ace at April 13, 2022 03:47 PM (0G13K)
Posted by: Red Turban Someguy - The Republic is already dead! at April 13, 2022 03:45 PM (z5Vrg)
Love is love, bigot.
Posted by: Insomniac - Outlaw. Hoarder. Wrecker. Honker. at April 13, 2022 03:45 PM (II3Gr)
Didn't they legalize it in Washington state? I vaguely remember something about a guy and his horse, but maybe they realized they needed a law. That was quite some time back.
Posted by: clutch cargo - processed in a facility that may contain lead at April 13, 2022 03:47 PM (wAnMi)
Posted by: lowandslow at April 13, 2022 03:47 PM (qH6FZ)
Stiff was a UK label, but pressed in Japan by a subsidiary of Universal most likely.
Posted by: garrett at April 13, 2022 03:48 PM (G9lTz)
Posted by: Jinx the Cat at April 13, 2022 03:48 PM (FfArO)
It's for the children.
Posted by: ... at April 13, 2022 03:48 PM (dscaa)
And here I thought decadence was watching 90's Skinemax movies. Shoving things in exit-only orifices transcends that, not even in the same universe.
Posted by: Thrawn at April 13, 2022 03:48 PM (Rl7KJ)
thanks. What did it mean when you said "OBI" up above?
Posted by: ace at April 13, 2022 03:48 PM (0G13K)
Posted by: ace at April 13, 2022 03:47 PM (0G13K)
For a brief time, Buzzcocks rocked. Pete Shelly not so much. But he did have that hit.
Posted by: clutch cargo - processed in a facility that may contain lead at April 13, 2022 03:49 PM (wAnMi)
Thanks for the 'Blister in the Sun' link, oldie but a good (?) one
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, RIP Oregon Muse at April 13, 2022 03:49 PM (XvPQV)
I've done dumb things in my life but nothing that would get me featured in an AOS post.
Posted by: Iris
Allow us to send a team to observe you and we'll have something posted 'bout you before the mid-day Monkey(s) thread, easy-peasy!
Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at April 13, 2022 03:49 PM (pNxlR)
Poetry Ace. Have you considered compiling an anthology?
Posted by: kraken at April 13, 2022 03:49 PM (Vr12I)
Posted by: ... at April 13, 2022 03:42 PM (aKLPu)
---------
LOL. Can't beat that ...
I'll remind you of it someday.
Posted by: ShainS at April 13, 2022 03:49 PM (Emy6L)
Buzzcocks are super overrated. Most British stuff is.
Stick to the Ramones, The Bad Brains and the Minutemen.
People will respect you more.
Posted by: garrett at April 13, 2022 03:49 PM (G9lTz)
Posted by: ... at April 13, 2022 03:49 PM (dscaa)
Posted by: lowandslow at April 13, 2022 03:47 PM (qH6FZ)
Hopefully he won't be getting any ideas from this.
Posted by: clutch cargo - processed in a facility that may contain lead at April 13, 2022 03:50 PM (wAnMi)
Posted by: fluffy at April 13, 2022 03:50 PM (UnQlg)
Posted by: Greg61 at April 13, 2022 03:50 PM (99YkD)
I don't even want to know what this person was attempting to do.
Posted by: chique l'African Viking Math Queen King of Greenland, the Merciless (don't/stop/believin') at April 13, 2022 03:50 PM (rF64X)
Posted by: ShainS at April 13, 2022 03:49 PM (Emy6L)
Brings a whole new meaning (and temperature) to Cool Ranch.
Posted by: ... at April 13, 2022 03:51 PM (dscaa)
Posted by: In Reel Life (yes, dummy, on purpose) at April 13, 2022 03:51 PM (QYPq3)
Razorfist finally convinced me to start listening to the classic stuff, like Maiden, Sabbath and Priest.
Now I dig it
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, RIP Oregon Muse at April 13, 2022 03:51 PM (XvPQV)
People will respect you more.
Posted by: garrett at April 13, 2022 03:49 PM (G9lTz)
Ramones embodied punk, they started punk, they were punk. Everybody else was also rans. Just one man's opinion.
Posted by: clutch cargo - processed in a facility that may contain lead at April 13, 2022 03:51 PM (wAnMi)
Posted by: Marcus T at April 13, 2022 03:51 PM (yN/vH)
He didn't have to tell them he was wanking. He could have told them anything.
Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at April 13, 2022 03:51 PM (4/+v7)
i just got into them 40 years later, give me fucking time dude
i just got into this because it's the theme song of Spirited, which has Matt King (Super Hans) from Peep Show in it
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MpMwMDqOprc
Posted by: ace at April 13, 2022 03:51 PM (0G13K)
The OBI is the exterior product sleeve that is featured on all Japanese LPs.
It's like a cock ring for you vinyl and it has most of the Product Code and Pricing Structure printed on it.
Posted by: garrett at April 13, 2022 03:51 PM (G9lTz)
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at April 13, 2022 03:51 PM (s2VJv)
lol
progressive resistance is the key
Posted by: ace at April 13, 2022 03:52 PM (0G13K)
Posted by: Steve_in_SoCal at April 13, 2022 03:52 PM (Yr1lv)
Posted by: ... at April 13, 2022 03:52 PM (dscaa)
Totally worth it.
Posted by: 20 year old man at April 13, 2022 03:52 PM (SH2Zi)
O-kay.....
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at April 13, 2022 03:51 PM (s2VJv)
But have you heard of Jack Off Jill?
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, RIP Oregon Muse at April 13, 2022 03:52 PM (XvPQV)
Posted by: 2009Refugee at April 13, 2022 03:52 PM (8AONa)
Posted by: ace at April 13, 2022 03:52 PM (0G13K)
Posted by: Steve_in_SoCal at April 13, 2022 03:52 PM (Yr1lv)
Posted by: In Reel Life (yes, dummy, on purpose) at April 13, 2022 03:52 PM (QYPq3)
I vaguely remember something about a guy and his horse, but maybe they realized they needed a law. That was quite some time back.
Was that the nimrod who mumbled something about making horse babies, or something equally inane? Ah, how fleeting is notoriety!
Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at April 13, 2022 03:52 PM (pNxlR)
Posted by: Marcus T at April 13, 2022 03:52 PM (yN/vH)
Posted by: Marcus T at April 13, 2022 03:44 PM (yN/vH)
---------
We're gonna need more reams ...
Posted by: ShainS at April 13, 2022 03:53 PM (Emy6L)
Posted by: Marcus T
Clearly she moved away from town as soon as practical. I wonder what ever became of her?
Posted by: Tonypete at April 13, 2022 03:53 PM (Msys3)
People will respect you more.
Posted by: garrett at April 13, 2022 03:49 PM (G9lTz)
Ramones embodied punk, they started punk, they were punk. Everybody else was also rans. Just one man's opinion.
Posted by: clutch cargo - processed in a facility that may contain lead at April 13, 2022 03:51 PM (wAnMi)
I dunno. Iggy Pop was...well, he was Iggy Pop. lol
Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at April 13, 2022 03:53 PM (mZOHK)
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 13, 2022 03:53 PM (DU+/6)
Posted by: clutch cargo - processed in a facility that may contain lead at April 13, 2022 03:51 PM (wAnMi)
Whoa, hold on now, son.
Posted by: Johnny Cash at April 13, 2022 03:53 PM (QYPq3)
Posted by: N.L. Urker, oops, I commented again. Sorry, eh. at April 13, 2022 03:53 PM (VdGjU)
But have you heard of Jack Off Jill?
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, RIP Oregon Muse at April 13, 2022 03:52 PM (XvPQV)
"Look, fat. She's a doctor."
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at April 13, 2022 03:53 PM (s2VJv)
--------
The intense discussion of String Theory during the game just got out of hand.
Posted by: Pork Chops & Bacons at April 13, 2022 03:53 PM (Qhnrt)
NYC Punk.
No arguing that the British had the PRock thing going on as did LA.
Also, DC had a very distinct brand of Punk.
Ramones are quintissential american Punk.
The Minutemen are quintissential DIY Punk. Which lead drectly to the Hardcore Movement of the mid-late 80s.
The Bad Brains were/are simply better at it than anyone else ever was.
Posted by: garrett at April 13, 2022 03:54 PM (G9lTz)
Posted by: Marcus T
Clearly she moved away from town as soon as practical. I wonder what ever became of her?
Posted by: Tonypete at April 13, 2022 03:53 PM (Msys3)
Got a job with Vlasic's?
Posted by: kraken at April 13, 2022 03:54 PM (Vr12I)
Posted by: Ferd Berfall at April 13, 2022 03:38 PM (odhPf)
I'm guessing the smart bells ran away.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at April 13, 2022 03:54 PM (P3gRi)
Posted by: Tonypete at April 13, 2022 03:53 PM (Msys3)"
I heard from someone the she actually went to several reunions. They're still calling her Pickles.
Posted by: Marcus T at April 13, 2022 03:54 PM (yN/vH)
Posted by: clutch cargo - processed in a facility that may contain lead at April 13, 2022 03:51 PM (wAnMi)
"We beg to differ."
- - The MC-5
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at April 13, 2022 03:54 PM (s2VJv)
Posted by: Dr. Bone at April 13, 2022 03:54 PM (Wnd0C)
https://is.gd/4EZDRR
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 13, 2022 03:54 PM (DU+/6)
Posted by: Ferd Berfall at April 13, 2022 03:38 PM (odhPf)
I have no idea, but it gets you to Carnegie Hall years ahead of practice, practice, practice . . .
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at April 13, 2022 03:55 PM (s2VJv)
Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 13, 2022 03:55 PM (u73oe)
Posted by: Ferd Berfall at April 13, 2022 03:38 PM (odhPf)
++++
Lubrication and commitment?
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 13, 2022 03:55 PM (DU+/6)
Posted by: In Reel Life (yes, dummy, on purpose) at April 13, 2022 03:55 PM (QYPq3)
ok thanks
Posted by: ace at April 13, 2022 03:55 PM (0G13K)
Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at April 13, 2022 03:52 PM (pNxlR)
Ixion: "Everybody knows that the only way you make horse babbehs is by engaging in decadence with a cloud in the shape of Hera. Of course, more people would know if I wasn't bound to this damn wheel for all eternity."
Posted by: Thrawn at April 13, 2022 03:55 PM (Rl7KJ)
https://is.gd/4EZDRR
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 13, 2022 03:54 PM (DU+/6)
So she needs help, presumably.
Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at April 13, 2022 03:55 PM (mZOHK)
Posted by: Ferd Berfall at April 13, 2022 03:38 PM (odhPf)
When a man and a dumb bell really love each other . . . .
Posted by: flounder, wrecker, hoarder, saboteur at April 13, 2022 03:55 PM (SH2Zi)
Posted by: Red Turban Someguy
MENDOOOOOOZA!!!
Posted by: rickb223 at April 13, 2022 03:56 PM (u9avC)
Posted by: Max Power at April 13, 2022 03:56 PM (k7+BO)
Posted by: Dr. Bone at April 13, 2022 03:54 PM (Wnd0C)
Heehee
Posted by: Bunnies at April 13, 2022 03:56 PM (QYPq3)
Posted by: kraken at April 13, 2022 03:56 PM (Vr12I)
Posted by: Marcus T at April 13, 2022 03:56 PM (yN/vH)
https://is.gd/4EZDRR
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 13, 2022 03:54 PM (DU+/6)
In Soviet America, busty bikini blonde give you masturbation-related injury!
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at April 13, 2022 03:56 PM (s2VJv)
Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 13, 2022 03:55 PM (u73oe)
--------------------------
Where's the obligatory "asking for a friend..."? Or are you just waiting to see who provides an answer?
Posted by: No One of Consequence at April 13, 2022 03:56 PM (CAJOC)
Posted by: Pug Mahon, Gen X Ne'er-Do-Well at April 13, 2022 03:57 PM (x8Wzq)
Posted by: Marcus T at April 13, 2022 03:51 PM
In one of the first episodes of the upcoming cable series The Real Housewives Of National Review, the ladies will candidly discuss their workarounds for the gherkin syndrome they all seem to be married to.
Posted by: Duncanthrax at April 13, 2022 03:57 PM (a3Q+t)
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 13, 2022 03:55 PM (DU+/6)
--------------
Yeah, I'd say a truck full of commitment and a teaspoon full of lube.
Posted by: blake - semi lurker in marginal standing (5pTK/) at April 13, 2022 03:57 PM (5pTK/)
Posted by: Ferd Berfall at April 13, 2022 03:38 PM (odhPf)
When a man and a dumb bell really love each other . . . .
Posted by: flounder, wrecker, hoarder, saboteur at April 13, 2022 03:55 PM (SH2Zi)
That sounds like the beginning of a Kamala speech.
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at April 13, 2022 03:57 PM (s2VJv)
https://is.gd/4EZDRR
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 13, 2022 03:54 PM (DU+/6)
How DARE you!
Posted by: Greta Thunberg, Committee for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice at April 13, 2022 03:57 PM (II3Gr)
that's not funny!
Posted by: Kurt at April 13, 2022 03:57 PM (0G13K)
My right lung collapsed after a gall bladder had gone bad. Really bad. The surgeon had to remove most of it using suction , the infection had effectively turned the organ to a liquid... I was supposedly slated for a week in the hospital. I walked out the next morning feeling so much better. The pain was real... Drugs where my friend's while i waited several hours in the er because... Holiday. I'm convinced the surgery saved my life.
Posted by: USNtakim deplorable still. at April 13, 2022 03:58 PM (0OmEj)
Posted by: kraken at April 13, 2022 03:56 PM (Vr12I)
Singing Moooon River seems to help as well.
Posted by: Pug Mahon, Gen X Ne'er-Do-Well at April 13, 2022 03:58 PM (x8Wzq)
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 13, 2022 03:55 PM (DU+/6)
I saw Lubrication and Commitment open for Ram Jam at the Speculum, er, Spectrum in '77.
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at April 13, 2022 03:58 PM (s2VJv)
Posted by: blake - semi lurker in marginal standing (5pTK/) at April 13, 2022 03:58 PM (5pTK/)
Posted by: flounder, wrecker, hoarder, saboteur at April 13, 2022 03:58 PM (SH2Zi)
Me: "Stuff about self abuse, crunched lungs, pickles, stuff like that."
She: "So, not Fox News then? "
Posted by: Cheerful Reprobate at April 13, 2022 03:58 PM (uYDdE)
i shouldn't have opened the jar first, because then it wouldn't come out, because of the suction
oh and the Insurrection was real or something
Posted by: Kurt at April 13, 2022 03:58 PM (0G13K)
Posted by: Marcus T at April 13, 2022 03:58 PM (yN/vH)
Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 13, 2022 03:55 PM
Lasso a candiru.
Posted by: Duncanthrax at April 13, 2022 03:59 PM (a3Q+t)
--------
I suspect you need to up your game from KY.
Posted by: Undocumented at April 13, 2022 03:59 PM (8UYDR)
I sure hope he can get a grip and turn his life around..
Posted by: Chi-town Jerry at April 13, 2022 03:59 PM (CjFDo)
Posted by: Ferd Berfall at April 13, 2022 03:38 PM -
I swear I was just walking in the gym - naked because I just got out of the shower - when I realized I left my towel at the dumbbell rack. Well, my feet were all wet and so I slipped and, well, so here I am, doc.
Posted by: Emmett Milbarge at April 13, 2022 03:59 PM (VbI7r)
Posted by: Ferd Berfall at April 13, 2022 03:38 PM (odhPf)
A goal is important.
Posted by: N.L. Urker, oops, I commented again. Sorry, eh. at April 13, 2022 03:59 PM (VdGjU)
Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 13, 2022 03:55 PM (u73oe)
Google "Urethral Sounds".
I found out about this because I actually needed to price some urethral sounds about a decade ago (great...uh.. cocktail party chatter!). I thought I had a reasonable familiarity with the range of sexual weirdness, but it turns out I do not.....
Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at April 13, 2022 03:59 PM (mZOHK)
He should have blamed Putin.
Posted by: flounder, wrecker, hoarder, saboteur at April 13, 2022 03:59 PM (SH2Zi)
Posted by: ace at April 13, 2022 03:59 PM (0G13K)
Yeah, I'd say a truck full of commitment and a teaspoon full of lube.
Posted by: blake - semi lurker in marginal standing (5pTK/) at April 13, 2022 03:57 PM (5pTK/)
"Just a teaspoon full of lube helps the dumbbell go up. . . "
- - Mirror Universe Julie Andrews
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at April 13, 2022 03:59 PM (s2VJv)
Posted by: Insomniac - Outlaw. Hoarder. Wrecker. Honker. at April 13, 2022 04:00 PM (II3Gr)
https://is.gd/4EZDRR
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 13, 2022 03:54 PM (DU+/6)
Just think. There's some guy out in the world that got tired of fucking her.
Posted by: Pork Chops & Bacons at April 13, 2022 04:00 PM (Qhnrt)
Posted by: Marcus T at April 13, 2022 03:56 PM (yN/vH)
-------------
"The Making of a Surgeon" talks about his hospital having a trophy board for such things.
Posted by: blake - semi lurker in marginal standing (5pTK/) at April 13, 2022 04:00 PM (5pTK/)
Posted by: Duncanthrax at April 13, 2022 03:59 PM (a3Q+t)
Candiru, I need you too.
(rejected Cars lyrics)
Posted by: Pug Mahon, Gen X Ne'er-Do-Well at April 13, 2022 04:00 PM (x8Wzq)
Posted by: blake - semi lurker in marginal standing (5pTK/) at April 13, 2022 03:58 PM (5pTK/)
++++
Makes ya wonder what they were *actually* up to.
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 13, 2022 04:00 PM (DU+/6)
Posted by: Marcus T
You're gonna stick an entire good woman up your ass?
Duuuuude!
Posted by: Tonypete at April 13, 2022 04:00 PM (Msys3)
Posted by: Marcus T at April 13, 2022 04:00 PM (yN/vH)
Posted by: Jewells45 at April 13, 2022 04:00 PM (nxdel)
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at April 13, 2022 03:38 PM (+5UtU)
This hot little model makes you wonder how fast is too fast, and how much fun can I stand?
https://tinyurl.com/44hdhxjh
Posted by: Kindltot at April 13, 2022 04:00 PM (xhaym)
Wouldn't that be a second party?
Posted by: fluffy at April 13, 2022 04:01 PM (UnQlg)
Posted by: N.L. Urker, oops, I commented again. Sorry, eh. at April 13, 2022 04:01 PM (VdGjU)
I found out about this because I actually needed to price some urethral sounds about a decade ago (great...uh.. cocktail party chatter!). I thought I had a reasonable familiarity with the range of sexual weirdness, but it turns out I do not.....
Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at April 13, 2022 03:59 PM (mZOHK)
I dated a girl who owned the book "The Encyclopedia of Unusual Sexual Practices". Fucked up shit doesn't begin to cover it.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, RIP Oregon Muse at April 13, 2022 04:01 PM (XvPQV)
Posted by: Emmett Milbarge at April 13, 2022 03:59 PM (VbI7r)
"I'll take Penthouse Letters Opening Lines for $100, Alex."
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at April 13, 2022 04:01 PM (s2VJv)
https://is.gd/4EZDRR
Posted by: J
In fairness fen does not have enough time to fight happiness everywhere
Posted by: Y5 at April 13, 2022 04:01 PM (8tNUK)
My right lung collapsed after a gall bladder had gone bad. Really bad. The surgeon had to remove most of it using suction , the infection had effectively turned the organ to a liquid... I was supposedly slated for a week in the hospital. I walked out the next morning feeling so much better. The pain was real... Drugs where my friend's while i waited several hours in the er because... Holiday. I'm convinced the surgery saved my life.
Posted by: USNtakim deplorable still. at April 13, 2022 03:58 PM (0OmEj)
Honestly, I'd rather masturbate.
Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at April 13, 2022 04:01 PM (mZOHK)
Posted by: ace at April 13, 2022 04:01 PM (0G13K)
Posted by: Undocumented at April 13, 2022 04:01 PM (8UYDR)
I never saw this coming. Cue rim shot.
Posted by: Onaism Olympiad at April 13, 2022 04:01 PM (GNjuu)
Posted by: Marcus T at April 13, 2022 03:58 PM (yN/vH)
I would wager the dude is a homo.
Posted by: Red Turban Someguy - The Republic is already dead! at April 13, 2022 04:01 PM (z5Vrg)
The school district collects an income tax and a property tax. I just found out they also tax every district resident over the age of 18 a $10 tax for just existing. And, every employed person is also levied an additional occupation tax based on their job, which will arrive soon. I just received the bill for my wife, whose tax I did not pay, because it is not clear on the form that it must be paid. They added an additional 10% late fee to the $10, plus a $12.50 pre-collections fee to pay for the potential collection agency if I don't pay. And if I do pay, I still have to pay the collection agency fee.
Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy at April 13, 2022 04:01 PM (qnVBz)
Posted by: Marcus T at April 13, 2022 03:56 PM (yN/vH)
---
An episode of Scrubs has Turk find a neat pen for Carla in the "lost and found" box. Turns out it was actually the "ass" box...as in the stuff removed from peoples' asses...
Posted by: "Perfessor" Squirrel at April 13, 2022 04:01 PM (YIVH2)
Posted by: N.L. Urker, oops, I commented again. Sorry, eh. at April 13, 2022 04:01 PM (VdGjU)
I recall a NYC performance artist from the late 70s called The Yam Shooter.
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at April 13, 2022 04:01 PM (s2VJv)
---
My uncle was Chief Resident at a big urban ER for several years. He has a giant notebook filled with funny and bizarre stuff like that.
Posted by: Meade Lux Lewis, Domestic Terrorist at April 13, 2022 04:01 PM (sWM8x)
Posted by: Brad Johnson at April 13, 2022 04:02 PM (0G13K)
Posted by: Marcus T at April 13, 2022 04:02 PM (yN/vH)
I found out about this because I actually needed to price some urethral sounds about a decade ago (great...uh.. cocktail party chatter!). I thought I had a reasonable familiarity with the range of sexual weirdness, but it turns out I do not.....
Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at April 13, 2022 03:59 PM (mZOHK)
Please remind me to never open any of your links.
Posted by: Pork Chops & Bacons at April 13, 2022 04:02 PM (Qhnrt)
Don't get distracted by the numerology at the start. Watch until the lack of blood and the lady in the tacky brown shoes is discussed.
There's some weird sh*t going on these days. Probably has been for a long time.
**
https://www.bitchute.com/video/NPDG2YKIZ3mr/
Posted by: SMH
Posted by: Moron Robbie - The Black family survived slavery but not welfare at April 13, 2022 04:02 PM (BGev3)
Disappointing follow-up to "Spanish Steps"
Posted by: ace at April 13, 2022 04:01 PM (0G13K)
Beach Boys meet the Queen of Soul . . .
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at April 13, 2022 04:02 PM (s2VJv)
https://is.gd/4EZDRR
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 13, 2022 03:54 PM (DU+/6)
QUALITY fembot
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, RIP Oregon Muse at April 13, 2022 04:02 PM (XvPQV)
I found out about this because I actually needed to price some urethral sounds about a decade ago (great...uh.. cocktail party chatter!). I thought I had a reasonable familiarity with the range of sexual weirdness, but it turns out I do not.....
Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In
A bottle nose urethra makes a spooky sound. And a blue urethra makes a haunting sound. And a great sperm urethra...
Posted by: rickb223 at April 13, 2022 04:02 PM (u9avC)
Posted by: Insomniac - Outlaw. Hoarder. Wrecker. Honker. at April 13, 2022 04:03 PM (II3Gr)
Posted by: Gentlemen, this is junta manifest at April 13, 2022 04:03 PM (wqNgG)
If we just taught this to 2nd and 3rd graders earlier this would not have happened !!!! I blame the Governor of Florida's "Don't Say Bowflex law" for this disaster !!!!!
Posted by: Ferd Berfall at April 13, 2022 04:03 PM (odhPf)
Posted by: Pork Chops & Bacons at April 13, 2022 04:00 PM (Qhnrt)
----------------------------
Nah. They're all in the hospital with crunchy lungs.
Posted by: No One of Consequence at April 13, 2022 04:03 PM (CAJOC)
Posted by: Meade Lux Lewis, Domestic Terrorist at April 13, 2022 04:03 PM (sWM8x)
Thought that was "Sorry!"
Posted by: Insomniac - Outlaw. Hoarder. Wrecker. Honker. at April 13, 2022 04:00 PM (II3Gr)
More like "Go To the Head of the Class" these days.
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at April 13, 2022 04:03 PM (s2VJv)
guys come on
COME ON
Yes I saw that earlier, and thought it was crazy.
NOT EVERYTHING IS CRISIS ACTORS
Posted by: Brad Johnson at April 13, 2022 04:03 PM (0G13K)
https://is.gd/4EZDRR
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 13, 2022 03:54 PM (DU+/6)
DO NOT RUIN THE FANTASY
Posted by: ... at April 13, 2022 04:04 PM (dscaa)
Posted by: Red Turban Someguy - The Republic is already dead! at April 13, 2022 04:01 PM (z5Vrg)"
Going way out on that limb, are you.
Posted by: Marcus T at April 13, 2022 04:04 PM (yN/vH)
Posted by: J.J. Sefton
Her sister could pluck a $20 out of the neck of a beer bottle and fold it.
Without using her hands. . . .
Posted by: Tonypete at April 13, 2022 04:04 PM (Msys3)
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 13, 2022 04:05 PM (DU+/6)
Posted by: Mark Rippetoe at April 13, 2022 04:05 PM (VbI7r)
Posted by: Seems Legit at April 13, 2022 04:05 PM (DcKNO)
---
My uncle was Chief Resident at a big urban ER for several years. He has a giant notebook filled with funny and bizarre stuff like that.
Posted by: Meade Lux Lewis, Domestic Terrorist at April 13, 2022 04:01 PM (sWM)
back when I was a resident, the cool thing was to arrange and frame all the stuff your departmemnt had pulled out of various orfices, passages and hollow visci. But sometime in the 80's the variety of...things and stories.... started to really change. Now you couldn't do that except as a sort of ironic hip art installation. You sure couldn't hang it on a wall in your ER.
Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at April 13, 2022 04:05 PM (mZOHK)
Didn't click but I imagine there are some champion maturbators who have done some injury To themselves to using her picture to entertain themselves.
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at April 13, 2022 04:05 PM (UaOKj)
Posted by: J.J. Sefton
Who was gg alln
Posted by: Y5 at April 13, 2022 04:05 PM (8tNUK)
Posted by: Dave in Fla at April 13, 2022 04:06 PM (DFWJJ)
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at April 13, 2022 04:06 PM (s2VJv)
The weird thing is, the botched sex game was just Parcheesi.
Thought that was "Sorry!"
Posted by: Insomniac
More like "Go To the Head of the Class" these days.
Posted by: J.J. Sefton
Operation
The goofy game for dopey doctors.
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at April 13, 2022 04:06 PM (63Dwl)
Posted by: Marcus T at April 13, 2022 04:02 PM (yN/vH)
-----------------
And idiots idiot?
Posted by: blake - semi lurker in marginal standing (5pTK/) at April 13, 2022 04:06 PM (5pTK/)
Posted by: Skip at April 13, 2022 04:06 PM (2JoB8)
Thinking about it all day and night.
Sitting there in conversation with someone else, mind wandering, just waiting, dreaming, hoping......
Posted by: ... at April 13, 2022 04:06 PM (dscaa)
Based upon your belief that when a woman bends over and then you see blood on the ground that's her "pouring" blood rather than, you know, blood actually pouring from a wound in her forearm?
And then they blame this on a.. leftwing black nationalist?!?
WHY? WHY WOULD "THEY" DO THIS?! Why wouldn't it be a MAGA guy?
Posted by: ace at April 13, 2022 04:06 PM (0G13K)
Posted by: Insomniac - Outlaw. Hoarder. Wrecker. Honker. at April 13, 2022 04:03 PM (II3Gr)
Enya's second most popular album title.
Posted by: flounder, wrecker, hoarder, saboteur at April 13, 2022 04:06 PM (SH2Zi)
Posted by: Red Turban Someguy - The Republic is already dead! at April 13, 2022 04:01 PM (z5Vrg)"
Going way out on that limb, are you.
Posted by: Marcus T at April 13, 2022 04:04 PM (yN/vH)
I'm an investor, not a speculator.
Posted by: Red Turban Someguy - The Republic is already dead! at April 13, 2022 04:06 PM (z5Vrg)
Calling Jesse a Gomer Pyle crackhead is a bridge too far. As for the rest, seems plausible.
Posted by: Onaism Olympiad at April 13, 2022 04:06 PM (GNjuu)
Posted by: Y5 at April 13, 2022 04:07 PM (8tNUK)
Posted by: Taqiyyologist, Rickrolled by Jesus at April 13, 2022 04:07 PM (OssQ4)
Didn't click but I imagine there are some champion maturbators who have done some injury To themselves to using her picture to entertain themselves.
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at April 13, 2022 04:05 PM (UaOKj)
It's not a competition, Fen.
Posted by: flounder, wrecker, hoarder, saboteur at April 13, 2022 04:07 PM (SH2Zi)
Posted by: Skip at April 13, 2022 04:06 PM (2JoB
Men pleasure themselves because they're better at everything than women.
Posted by: In Reel Life (yes, dummy, on purpose) at April 13, 2022 04:07 PM (QYPq3)
Dad walks in on his son while the son is engaged in self gratification.
Dad says "Cut that out, or you'll go blind!"
Son says "Hey, Dad, I'm over here!".
Posted by: gourmand du jour at April 13, 2022 04:07 PM (jTmQV)
Are you doing fen's job now
Posted by: Y5 at April 13, 2022 04:08 PM (8tNUK)
Because it's there.
Posted by: The George Mallory of Anal Insertions at April 13, 2022 04:08 PM (0G13K)
Posted by: nurse ratched at April 13, 2022 04:08 PM (W2Pud)
Duuuuude!
Posted by: Tonypete at April 13, 2022 04:00 PM (Msys3)
Mister Slave did, with his slut-off with Paris Hilton.
Posted by: Thrawn at April 13, 2022 04:08 PM (Rl7KJ)
Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 13, 2022 04:08 PM (u73oe)
Did I miss it somewhere or does anyone else think Tater looks like Garth Brooks?? Made me think of some alternate lyrics. None were good enough for this place. Not yet anyway.
Posted by: 22LR at April 13, 2022 04:09 PM (omaXJ)
I think we're past the point in our Country where we believe in coincidences.
Posted by: Seems Legit at April 13, 2022 04:09 PM (DcKNO)
Posted by: ... at April 13, 2022 04:09 PM (dscaa)
Posted by: Dr Spank at April 13, 2022 04:09 PM (h3Lfd)
https://is.gd/4EZDRR
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 13, 2022 03:54 PM (DU+/6)
------
If she's in the nude volleyball scene in the Top Gun sequel, I might watch it.
Posted by: ShainS at April 13, 2022 04:09 PM (Emy6L)
Posted by: Duke Lowell at April 13, 2022 04:08 PM (u73oe)
IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE THE GUY CRUNCHED HIS LUNG BECAUSE HE COULDN'T GET IT OUT OF HIS HAND
Posted by: BEN ROETHLISBER at April 13, 2022 04:09 PM (QYPq3)
He had a great line.
"Roseanne Barr had bariatric stomach surgery in 1998... and she beat it."
Roseanne howled with laughter. At least she can take a joke.
Posted by: The George Mallory of Anal Insertions at April 13, 2022 04:09 PM (0G13K)
Posted by: Dr Spank at April 13, 2022 04:09 PM (h3Lfd)
++++
I have a quick-release valve embedded in my thorax, just in case.
Fortune favors the prepared.
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 13, 2022 04:09 PM (DU+/6)
Posted by: Brother Tim, #teamheadsonpikes at April 13, 2022 04:10 PM (OUMaO)
The weird thing is, the botched sex game was just Parcheesi.
Thought that was "Sorry!"
Posted by: Insomniac
More like "Go To the Head of the Class" these days.
Posted by: J.J. Sefton
Operation
The goofy game for dopey doctors.
"Twister"
Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at April 13, 2022 04:10 PM (pNxlR)
https://tinyurl.com/3m9cp5j8
Posted by: Undocumented at April 13, 2022 04:10 PM (8UYDR)
Oh, I forgot about "Car Fucker"
Posted by: Hatari Somewhere on Ventura Highway at April 13, 2022 04:10 PM (iWIqo)
Posted by: blake - semi lurker in marginal standing (5pTK/) at April 13, 2022 03:58 PM (5pTK/)
If he went to a fourth party he'd probably be dead by now.
Posted by: Max Power at April 13, 2022 04:10 PM (k7+BO)
Posted by: The George Mallory of Anal Insertions at April 13, 2022 04:09 PM (0G13K)
--------------
Roseanne turned out to be a far better person that Tom Arnold.
Still boggles my mind.
Posted by: blake - semi lurker in marginal standing (5pTK/) at April 13, 2022 04:11 PM (5pTK/)
They didn't hire moi as showrunner.
Posted by: Jussie Smollett at April 13, 2022 04:11 PM (a3Q+t)
he did me a real solid
Posted by: Lizzo at April 13, 2022 04:11 PM (0G13K)
Swiss guy's Twitter handle is "MasterBlaster"
Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at April 13, 2022 04:11 PM (pNxlR)
Posted by: Seems Legit at April 13, 2022 04:11 PM (DcKNO)
I ask you, anybody?
Posted by: Marcus T at April 13, 2022 04:11 PM (yN/vH)
"I only smoke after masturbation, if there was too much friction."
choose your lubricant carefully, to avoid flash in the pan performance. (things your kids now learn in kindergarten)
Posted by: illiniwek at April 13, 2022 04:11 PM (Cus5s)
---
I should have been clearer--the notebook didn't contain any of the objects, just documentation. He'd blocked out identifying information. Truly strange.
Posted by: Meade Lux Lewis, Domestic Terrorist at April 13, 2022 04:12 PM (sWM8x)
Posted by: ... at April 13, 2022 04:12 PM (dscaa)
https://tinyurl.com/3m9cp5j8
Posted by: Undocumented at April 13, 2022 04:10 PM (8UYDR)
++++
Emblazoned with the iconic LV monogram pattern, these designer dumbbells weigh 3 kgs (6.7 pounds) and will set you back $2,720.00 before shipping.
I wish I would have thought of that piece of absurdity. The idea of a Luis Vuitton dumbbell, I mean. Not taking it rectally.
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 13, 2022 04:12 PM (DU+/6)
I imagine there are some champion maturbators
Are there any men trying to be women in those championships?
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at April 13, 2022 04:12 PM (63Dwl)
Posted by: Madamemayhem (uppity wench) at April 13, 2022 04:12 PM (Vxu+H)
Posted by: Skip at April 13, 2022 04:12 PM (2JoB8)
Posted by: Y5 at April 13, 2022 04:13 PM (8tNUK)
Posted by: Hillary's Left Testicle at April 13, 2022 04:13 PM (zbSM/)
Thought that was "Sorry!"
Posted by: Insomniac
They use Candyland for the sex games at the kindergarten. It's more age-appropriate for a sex game, see.
Posted by: Taqiyyologist, Rickrolled by Jesus at April 13, 2022 04:13 PM (OssQ4)
Posted by: weft cut-loop at April 13, 2022 04:13 PM (p6Md5)
Posted by: Dr Spank at April 13, 2022 04:09 PM (h3Lfd)
a large gauge needle, surgical tubing and some way to draw a gentle vacuum?
Otherwise you need to start a hole in the chest wall and use one of those self-burping pneumothorax dressings.
This used to be a problem with active TB cases, the lungs would pop or leak into the chest cavity. Howevcer, one of the treatments for TB was to let the lung "rest" by collapsing a lung by inducing a pneumothorax
It is not fatal, as long as it doesn't collapse the lung completely and suffocate the patient.
Posted by: Kindltot at April 13, 2022 04:13 PM (xhaym)
Posted by: Y5 at April 13, 2022 04:13 PM (8tNUK)
----------------
What he said!
Posted by: Meghan McCain at April 13, 2022 04:14 PM (5pTK/)
I blame Russian porn.
Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 13, 2022 04:14 PM (SKVme)
Posted by: m at April 13, 2022 04:14 PM (4vwwZ)
Posted by: ... at April 13, 2022 04:09 PM (dscaa)
----------
I'm almost afraid to ask how many calories are burned in an average "session?"
Not to mention the apparent size differences between my right and left arms.
Posted by: ShainS at April 13, 2022 04:14 PM (Emy6L)
You know those "resistance bands"?
___________
All too well, my friend, all too well!
Posted by: Zombie Hairy Reid at April 13, 2022 04:14 PM (k4dH2)
Posted by: Hillary's Left Testicle at April 13, 2022 04:14 PM (zbSM/)
resistance bands are futile
Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at April 13, 2022 04:15 PM (pNxlR)
Posted by: m at April 13, 2022 04:15 PM (4vwwZ)
Posted by: Bilwis Devourer of Innocent Souls, I'm starvin' over here at April 13, 2022 04:15 PM (cupoy)
Posted by: In Reel Life
I had a girl asked me if I knew what made a woman orgasm? I replied, who cares?
Yeah, that was wife number eight.
Posted by: rickb223 at April 13, 2022 04:15 PM (u9avC)
Posted by: 22LR at April 13, 2022 04:15 PM (omaXJ)
Posted by: zombie harry reid at April 13, 2022 04:16 PM (p6Md5)
Posted by: St.James at April 13, 2022 04:16 PM (GNjuu)
Fortune favors the prepared.
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 13, 2022 04:09 PM (DU+/6)
You can always jam a sportsball inflation needle between your ribs in a pinch.
Posted by: Insomniac - Outlaw. Hoarder. Wrecker. Honker. at April 13, 2022 04:16 PM (II3Gr)
Is Hunter Biden Brazilian?
Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 13, 2022 04:16 PM (SKVme)
Posted by: gourmand du jour at April 13, 2022 04:17 PM (jTmQV)
I had a girl asked me if I knew what made a woman orgasm? I replied, who cares?
Yeah, that was wife number eight.
Posted by: r
In fairness, if she was old enough to marry she should not need to ask you
Posted by: Y5 at April 13, 2022 04:17 PM (8tNUK)
Posted by: Dr Spank at April 13, 2022 04:09 PM (h3Lfd)
++++
I have a quick-release valve embedded in my thorax, just in case.
Fortune favors the prepared.
Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at April 13, 2022 04:09 PM (DU+/6)
You know, what ever happened to good, old-fashioned, romantic spontaneous masturbation. Kids these days.
Posted by: flounder, wrecker, hoarder, saboteur at April 13, 2022 04:17 PM (SH2Zi)
Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 13, 2022 04:14 PM (SKVme)
-------
Out: Putin's inflation!
In: Putin's masturbation!
Posted by: ShainS at April 13, 2022 04:18 PM (Emy6L)
He is the New JackOff King.
Posted by: DaveA at April 13, 2022 04:18 PM (FhXTo)
Posted by: Insomniac - Outlaw. Hoarder. Wrecker. Honker. at April 13, 2022 04:16 PM (I
That's a sexy idea!
Posted by: Max Power at April 13, 2022 04:18 PM (k7+BO)
You know those "resistance bands"
So that is how Harry red got the shoner
Posted by: Y5 at April 13, 2022 04:18 PM (8tNUK)
Making love to me was never second best
Posted by: Modern English at April 13, 2022 04:18 PM (ohIqQ)
Posted by: Zombie Hairy Reid at April 13, 2022 04:18 PM (k4dH2)
Posted by: Dr Spank at April 13, 2022 04:19 PM (h3Lfd)
Posted by: Krebs v Carnot
Yah, no shit.
Posted by: zombie harry reid at April 13, 2022 04:16 PM (p6Md5)
never bought that story. I still think he got tuned up by his brother.
Posted by: Pug Mahon, Gen X Ne'er-Do-Well at April 13, 2022 04:19 PM (x8Wzq)
Posted by: gp's Prophecies Of Mood at April 13, 2022 04:19 PM (qpX6U)
I applaud him.
Posted by: LASue at April 13, 2022 04:20 PM (Ed8Zd)
Posted by: Aetius451AD Work Laptop at April 13, 2022 04:20 PM (F/J1O)
Posted by: Pug Mahon, Gen X Ne'er-Do-Well at April 13, 2022 04:21 PM (x8Wzq)
LPGA star Nelly Korda had surgery to remove blood clot
4 days ago - Nelly Korda, a seven-time winner on the LPGA Tour with more than $6 million in career earnings, said she would soon begin rehabilitation after undergoing surgery to remove a blood clot in her left arm.
Posted by: weft cut-loop at April 13, 2022 04:21 PM (p6Md5)
Posted by: Aetius451AD Work Laptop at April 13, 2022 04:21 PM (F/J1O)
Posted by: Ron at April 13, 2022 04:21 PM (AtKtr)
I still think he got tuned up by his brother.
Posted by: Pug Mahon, Gen X Ne'er-Do-Well at April 13, 2022 04:19 PM (x8Wzq)
Or... a million people. I mean, I'd have liked to slap the taste out his bitchy old mouf, and I've never met him. Imagine all the people who had to work with him every day.
Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 13, 2022 04:21 PM (SKVme)
Posted by: Marcus T at April 13, 2022 04:21 PM (yN/vH)
Posted by: Pug Mahon
It's a fun thread for everyone who doesn't have a barbell stuck up their ass.
Posted by: rickb223 at April 13, 2022 04:21 PM (u9avC)
Posted by: Meade Lux Lewis, Domestic Terrorist at April 13, 2022 04:22 PM (sWM8x)
Goes against the idiom of the moment, if you take my meaning.
Posted by: Aetius451AD Work Laptop at April 13, 2022 04:22 PM (F/J1O)
Parcheesi is the perfect funny word.
Posted by: DaveA at April 13, 2022 04:22 PM (FhXTo)
Posted by: m at April 13, 2022 04:22 PM (4vwwZ)
He should do a documentary about this, like Arnold. Rumping Iron.
Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 13, 2022 04:23 PM (SKVme)
Posted by: r
In fairness, depends how it got there
Posted by: Y5 at April 13, 2022 04:23 PM (8tNUK)
Posted by: Pug Mahon, Gen X Ne'er-Do-Well at April 13, 2022 04:19 PM (x8Wzq)
I thought it was the Mob?
Although, great quote 'If you look closely at the bruise, you can see the imprint of a tiny fist...'
Posted by: Aetius451AD Work Laptop at April 13, 2022 04:23 PM (F/J1O)
Posted by: Pug Mahon, Gen X Ne'er-Do-Well at April 13, 2022 04:19 PM (x8Wzq)
---------------
Powerline floated a story claiming Reid got tuned up by the mob over Obamacare.
The mob made sure Reid was re-elected, as he should have lost, but, the mob took care of the cheat, but, expected Reid to kill Obamacare.
At least, that's what my rather hazy memory seems to think happened.
Posted by: blake - semi lurker in marginal standing (5pTK/) at April 13, 2022 04:23 PM (5pTK/)
Posted by: Cuthbert the Witless at April 13, 2022 04:23 PM (IUETd)
Posted by: flounder, wrecker, hoarder, saboteur at April 13, 2022 04:07 PM (SH2Zi)
I I think competitve masturbation sounds like a possible moron activity. You could have masturbation related music and Joe could provide slides-be the dick uhh disc jockey as it were . I don't know that anyone would want to admit to being the winner-at least in public
I
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at April 13, 2022 04:23 PM (gMJhZ)
@NewsPolitics 22h
SOURCE: Chris Wallace is "having daily breakdowns" over the "miserable launch" of @CNNplus. Wants a "CNN show or is threatening to walk" they go on. "He is having staffers count how many times a day his promo is playing"
Posted by: weft cut-loop at April 13, 2022 04:24 PM (p6Md5)
Posted by: Marcus T at April 13, 2022 04:24 PM (yN/vH)
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at April 13, 2022 04:23 PM (gMJhZ)
So, honor system?
Posted by: flounder, wrecker, hoarder, saboteur at April 13, 2022 04:25 PM (SH2Zi)
Trying to pin that on Trump too?
Posted by: Diesel Jones, Biologist at April 13, 2022 04:25 PM (Vu7A1)
Charles Assless
Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 13, 2022 04:25 PM (SKVme)
Posted by: Pug Mahon, Gen X Ne'er-Do-Well at April 13, 2022 04:25 PM (x8Wzq)
I I think competitve masturbation sounds like a possible moron activity. You could have masturbation related music and Joe could provide slides-be the dick uhh disc jockey as it were . I don't know that anyone would want to admit to being the winner-at least in public
I
Posted by: Fe
If the hq had such an event you would be there showing pics of mooch
Posted by: Y5 at April 13, 2022 04:25 PM (8tNUK)
Posted by: Dr. Mabusette at April 13, 2022 04:26 PM (t2S2s)
Pros use kettlebells.
Posted by: Stateless at April 13, 2022 04:26 PM (FsZ2q)
Posted by: David Caradine at April 13, 2022 04:26 PM (cPRnX)
---
New woke Olympics. They could play Barry White stuff at the medals ceremony.
Posted by: Meade Lux Lewis, Domestic Terrorist at April 13, 2022 04:26 PM (sWM8x)
If the hq had such an event you would be there showing pics of mooch
Posted by: Y5 at April 13, 2022 04:25 PM (8tNUK)
Well there needs to be some challenge in the event.
Posted by: Red Turban Someguy - The Republic is already dead! at April 13, 2022 04:27 PM (z5Vrg)
Good. I hope the little pussy has a full blown mental breakdown.
Posted by: Jewells45 at April 13, 2022 04:27 PM (nxdel)
Posted by: Reuben Hick at April 13, 2022 04:28 PM (AHeqJ)
Frequency? DISTANCE???
Posted by: gourmand du jour at April 13, 2022 04:28 PM (jTmQV)
Posted by: weft cut-loop at April 13, 2022 04:28 PM (p6Md5)
You got both hands
Posted by: Dr. Varno at April 13, 2022 04:28 PM (vuisn)
Posted by: N.L. Urker, oops, I commented again. Sorry, eh. at April 13, 2022 04:28 PM (VdGjU)
Good. I hope the little pussy has a full blown mental breakdown.
Posted by: Jewells45 at April 13, 2022 04:27 PM (nxdel)
Holy hell. I am sick about hearing about these delicate blossoms and their feels. Nut up, ya poof! Drive on!
Posted by: Pug Mahon, Gen X Ne'er-Do-Well at April 13, 2022 04:29 PM (x8Wzq)
Which begs the question, What would the successful sex game entail?
Posted by: Tonypete at April 13, 2022 03:46 PM (Msys3)
When the penguins go home safely and the bodies of the other errrr "participants" are never found?
Posted by: NZFrank with an M2 at April 13, 2022 04:29 PM (bgJ0E)
Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy at April 13, 2022 04:29 PM (qnVBz)
Posted by: garrett at April 13, 2022 04:29 PM (G9lTz)
Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at April 13, 2022 04:30 PM (SKVme)
Posted by: weft cut-loop at April 13, 2022 04:28 PM (p6Md5)
For the past 2 years you couldn't find a dog to adopt for love nor money in our town. All grabbed by people who needed a friend during the WuFlu lockdown. Now I hear those pets are being given up for adoption, now that they're not "needed" anymore. People are really lousy.
Posted by: Dr. Mabusette at April 13, 2022 04:30 PM (t2S2s)
Frequency? DISTANCE???
Posted by: gourmand du jour at April 13, 2022 04:28 PM (jTmQV)
More like diving: difficulty and execution
Posted by: In Reel Life (yes, dummy, on purpose) at April 13, 2022 04:30 PM (QYPq3)
Posted by: Aetius451AD Work Laptop at April 13, 2022 04:30 PM (F/J1O)
Talking about your sexual preferences or practices to little kids in public schools is free speech that is essential to the kids' proper education and social development!
Posted by: Zombie Hairy Reid at April 13, 2022 04:31 PM (k4dH2)
Posted by: Dr. Bone at April 13, 2022 04:31 PM (Wnd0C)
Posted by: Y5 at April 13, 2022 04:31 PM (8tNUK)
Frequency? DISTANCE???
Posted by: gourmand du jour at April 13, 2022 04:28 PM (jTmQV)
Viscosity, of course.
Posted by: Heavy Meta at April 13, 2022 04:31 PM (gryET)
Posted by: weft cut-loop at April 13, 2022 04:24 PM (p6Md5)
Now that's the sort of thing one could...um...suffer a collapsed lung for.
Posted by: Dr. T at April 13, 2022 04:31 PM (tp+tP)
Posted by: In Reel Life (yes, dummy, on purpose) at April 13, 2022 04:30 PM (QYPq3)
Hmmm, no one has even seen someone 'attempt' a Helen Thomas since '84...
Posted by: Aetius451AD Work Laptop at April 13, 2022 04:31 PM (F/J1O)
Posted by: t-dubya-d at April 13, 2022 04:32 PM (66jxp)
Good god. It's fucking painful.
Posted by: garrett
No, but then again, I don't wear Crocs.
Posted by: weft cut-loop at April 13, 2022 04:32 PM (p6Md5)
Posted by: Roy at April 13, 2022 04:32 PM (Ti+Tv)
Posted by: Skip at April 13, 2022 04:32 PM (2JoB8)
Posted by: Y5 at April 13, 2022 04:32 PM (8tNUK)
The mob made sure Reid was re-elected, as he should have lost, but, the mob took care of the cheat, but, expected Reid to kill Obamacare.
At least, that's what my rather hazy memory seems to think happened.
--------------
I'm going to buy this because it will be my new favorite conspiracy theory. Reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where the pimp wouldn't take Jerry's cash because of IRS purposes - she was an independent contractor.
Posted by: SH (Overturn Roe) at April 13, 2022 04:32 PM (sX1BW)
Posted by: w
Easier if they just count viewers
Posted by: Y5 at April 13, 2022 04:33 PM (8tNUK)
Bag or oranges, never shit right agai
Posted by: Y5 at April 13, 2022 04:34 PM (8tNUK)
Well. Whomever went down to where she works and knocked the cock out of her mouth?
He didn't do any of us any favors. I'd still hit it. But I would not hang around to entertain her thoughts.
Posted by: garrett at April 13, 2022 04:34 PM (G9lTz)
Posted by: ... at April 13, 2022 04:35 PM (dscaa)
Posted by: Dr Spank at April 13, 2022 04:35 PM (h3Lfd)
At least, that's what my rather hazy memory seems to think happened.
If it was the mob, the Searchlight pederast would be facedown in a shallow grave somewhere in the Mojave Desert.
Posted by: Heavy Meta at April 13, 2022 04:35 PM (gryET)
Posted by: weft cut-loop at April 13, 2022 04:28 PM (p6Md5)
Same thing is happening here. KC Pet Project is at capacity.
Posted by: Jewells45 at April 13, 2022 04:36 PM (nxdel)
Posted by: Skip at April 13, 2022 04:32 PM (2JoB
Might be enough to give me a crunched lung
Posted by: ... at April 13, 2022 04:37 PM (dscaa)
Posted by: weft cut-loop at April 13, 2022 04:28 PM (p6Md5)
Same thing is happening here. KC Pet Project is at capacity.
--------------
Seems like shelters are always at capacity.
Regardless, this seems like a Biden Inflation problem as people cannot afford dog food anymore.
Soon enough, grandma will be eating it for real. And the Dems always blamed it on the GOP.
Posted by: SH (Overturn Roe) at April 13, 2022 04:37 PM (sX1BW)
Posted by: Vic at April 13, 2022 04:37 PM (mZwKe)
I guess it's time to step away from the computer.
Posted by: jwest at April 13, 2022 04:37 PM (/BlEx)
Posted by: Pug Mahon, Gen X Ne'er-Do-Well at April 13, 2022 04:37 PM (x8Wzq)
Soon enough, grandma will be eating it for real. And the Dems always blamed it on the GOP.
Posted by: SH
Not just can't afford it, can't find it.
Posted by: rickb223 at April 13, 2022 04:38 PM (u9avC)
__________
I adopted a 6-year old shelter dog almost two years ago. Had nothing to do with the pandemic, other than the fact that our local shelter sent out e-mails saying they were over-loaded with dogs and needed to adopt them out as quickly as possible. I'd been planning to get another dog after my last dog had passed on, at nearly 19 years of age, in 2019. So I decided it was the right time.
She's sitting here by my feet as I type this, and I wouldn't give her up for anything. She's a very sweet pooch.
Posted by: TrivialPursuer--FJB at April 13, 2022 04:38 PM (k4dH2)
Posted by: Dr Spank at April 13, 2022 04:42 PM (h3Lfd)
Posted by: clutch cargo - processed in a facility that may contain lead at April 13, 2022 03:47 PM (wAnMi)
That was a guy who went by the moniker, "Mr. Hands." He died of massive internal injuries following a "meetup" with a horse. Quoth Nazareth, "love hurts."
Posted by: antisocial justice beatnik [DHS Verdict: MDM] at April 13, 2022 04:44 PM (DTX3h)
Posted by: DaveA at April 13, 2022 04:52 PM (FhXTo)
- - The MC-5
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at April 13, 2022 03:54 PM (s2VJv)
----
JJ
I always love you but you mentioning the MC5 solidifies my respect of you! It reminds me of when I heard Bob Segar ion the radio in Florida. I had no idea that other people had heard of local bands.
Posted by: Chillin the most at April 13, 2022 04:54 PM (ZpuGY)
You know you're really stuck in the mud when your dog won't let you climb out on him.
Posted by: DaveA at April 13, 2022 04:55 PM (FhXTo)
Which means I'm about to get much worse.
Posted by: Masturbatin' Pete at April 13, 2022 05:02 PM (jJjw9)
Posted by: Caiwyn at April 13, 2022 05:48 PM (+dHQK)
Posted by: Not Enough Lampposts at April 13, 2022 06:17 PM (HHTlz)
Posted by: mark at April 13, 2022 08:33 PM (hq+CF)
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George Bush Slices Don Rumsfeld Like an F*ckin' Hammer
Democratic Forays into Erotica
New Shows On Gore's DNC/MTV Network
Nicknames for Potatoes, By People Who Really Hate Potatoes
Star Wars Euphemisms for Self-Abuse
Signs You're at an Iraqi "Wedding Party"
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NYT Headlines Spinning Bush's Jobs Boom
Things People Are More Likely to Say Than "Did You Hear What Al Franken Said Yesterday?"
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All-Time Best NBA Players, According to Senator Robert Byrd
Other Bad Things About the Jews, According to the Koran
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Examples of Bob Kerrey's Insufferable Racial Jackassery
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Other Judgments Dick Clarke Made About Condi Rice Based on Her Appearance
Collective Names for Groups of People
John Kerry's Other Vietnam Super-Pets
Cool Things About the XM8 Assault Rifle
Media-Approved Facts About the Democrat Spy
Changes to Make Christianity More "Inclusive"
Secret John Kerry Senatorial Accomplishments
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Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
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John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
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