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And Now, Another Episode of "Grampa Joe's Corny Old-Timey Half-Remembered Lies"

This is as true as it gets, friends.


A newly surfaced video clip from 2017 shows Joe Biden recounting a bizarre alleged incident in which he deftly avoided a razor-and-chain fight with a gang leader named Corn Pop, when Biden was serving as the only white lifeguard at a predominately black Delaware pool in the summer of 1962.

...

"I learned a lot. And I learned that it makes a difference," Biden said in the 2017 video clip, which documented the ceremony in which the Brown-Burton-Winchester Park was renamed the Joseph R. Biden Jr. Aquatic Center.

"This was the diving board area, and I was one of the guards, and they weren't allowed to -- it was a 3-meter board. And if you fell off sideways, you landed on the damn, er, darn cement over there," Biden said.


Some members of the crowd laughed, apparently at Biden correcting his language, as a small gathering of black children surrounding Biden looked ahead, seemingly disinterested.

"And Corn Pop was a bad dude. And he ran a bunch of bad boys. And back in those days -- to show how things have changed -- one of the things you had to use, if you used Pomade in your hair, you had to wear a baby cap. And so he was up on the board and wouldn't listen to me. I said, 'Hey, Esther, you! Off the board, or I'll come up and drag you off.' Well, he came off, and he said, 'I'll meet you outside.'"

Biden's comments were a reference to competitive swimmer-turned actress Esther Williams, who died in 2013.

"My car was mostly, these were all public housing behind us," Biden continued. "My car - there was a gate on here. I parked my car outside the gate. And he said, 'I'll be waiting for you. He was waiting for me with three guys with straight razors. Not a joke. There was a guy named Bill Wright the only white guy and he did all the pools. He was a mechanic. And I said, 'What am I gonna do?' And he said. 'Come down here in the basement, where all the mechanics- - where all the pool builder is.' You know the chain, there used to be a chain that went across the deep end. And he cut off a six-foot length of chain, and folded it up and he said, 'You walk out with that chain, and you walk to the car and say, 'you may cut me man, but I'm gonna wrap this chain around your head.'"


Biden continued: "I said, 'You're kidding me.'" He said, 'No if you don't, don't come back.' And he was right. So I walked out with the chain. And I walked up to my car. And in those days, you remember the straight razors, you had to bang 'em on the curb, gettin' em rusty, puttin' em in the rain barrel, gettin' em rusty? And I looked at him, but I was smart, then. I said, 'First of all,' I said, 'when I tell you to get off the board, you get off the board, and I'll kick you out again, but I shouldn't have called you Esther Williams, and I apologize for that. I apologize.' But I didn't know that apology was gonna work."

"He said, 'you apologize to me?'" Biden went on. "I said, 'I apologize but not for throwing you out, but I apologize for what I said.' He said, 'OK,' closed that straight razor, and my heart began to beat again."

News has come out that there was indeed a guy calling himself "Corn Pop" alive at that time, and there was a gang called "The Romans."

But the rest of the story seems... well, Bidenesque. This twitter user cast doubt on a lot of the story, highlighting Biden's claim that many of the blacks at the pool had never spoken to a white person before.

He points out that whites made up 73% of the county, making this claim highly dubious.

I'm not sure if I believe that Joe Biden almost had a chain and knife fight which was later defused by mutual recognition of each other's humanity.

Because I think I saw that happen in "Beat It."





Posted by: Ace of Spades at 04:06 PM




Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 The gangsta's name was really "KABOOM!!!"

Posted by: Tom Servo at September 16, 2019 05:06 PM (Kpl3J)

2 Joey Bidet is a few Fruit Loops short of a bowl.

Posted by: Anna Puma at September 16, 2019 05:08 PM (7pqxB)

3 He really wanted to put Corn Pop back in chains.

Posted by: Roy at September 16, 2019 05:08 PM (Ciifn)

4 SCREAM AND LEAP!

Into the pool in 1962, that is.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at September 16, 2019 05:09 PM (ClOmq)

5 As far as Biden stories go, this is one of the best.

As Mark Steyn would say, this is classic Biden.

Posted by: SH at September 16, 2019 05:09 PM (sX1BW)

6 "... predominately black Delaware pool in the summer of 1962."

I imagine the diving board was a pretty lonely place at that pool.

Posted by: BuckIV at September 16, 2019 05:09 PM (PZ2ib)

7 Eat it! Just eat it!

Posted by: Joe Biden channel MJ by way of Weird Al at September 16, 2019 05:09 PM (RD7QR)

8 It wasn't Corn Pop you stupid old man. It was me.

Posted by: Frosted Flake at September 16, 2019 05:09 PM (5itaF)

9 And Cornpop is conveniently dead.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at September 16, 2019 05:09 PM (jEgzt)

10 How badass could that guy be? - his name was Corn Pop and he wore a bathing cap to the pool.

Posted by: Roy at September 16, 2019 05:10 PM (Ciifn)

11 Beat it.

https://youtu.be/oRdxUFDoQe0

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at September 16, 2019 05:10 PM (jYnPD)

12 Who did he steal this story from?

Posted by: Anna Puma at September 16, 2019 05:10 PM (7pqxB)

13 Let me tell you about the time I faced down Count Chockula!

Posted by: Joe Biden channels MJ by way of Weird Al at September 16, 2019 05:10 PM (RD7QR)

14 "They gonna put ya'll back in CHAINZ!"

Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 16, 2019 05:10 PM (ptqGC)

15
When you're a Jet, you're a Jet all the way
From your first cigarette to your last dying day.
My word as a Biden.

Posted by: Smokin' Joe Biden at September 16, 2019 05:11 PM (iCClr)

16
Wait, what?

The Joe Biden Aquatic Center?!?!

Posted by: Soothsayer, very senile at September 16, 2019 05:11 PM (KL8os)

17 This version sounds a *fraction* more plausible in one detail, that Biden went out with the chain in hand, instead of wrapped around his arm and under a towel. Of course, now he's added the detail that all three kids had straight razors instead of Corn Pop alone.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at September 16, 2019 05:11 PM (ClOmq)

18 My theory is still that it was "Corn Chip", not "Corn Pop", and that it was a Mexican, not a black guy, and that the whole thing is a half-remembered dream from when Plugs nodded off during a Frito Bandito commercial.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at September 16, 2019 05:11 PM (IRd4p)

19 You apologizing to me?

YOU apologizing to ME!

YOU APOLOGIZING TO ME!!

Posted by: Corn Pop talking to a mirror at September 16, 2019 05:11 PM (Ciifn)

20 The Romans. Weren't they in The Warriors movie dressed like centurions?


Can You Dig It !!

Posted by: Pig to man dreaming of lions at September 16, 2019 05:11 PM (hN5g8)

21 And in those days, you remember the straight razors, you had to bang
'em on the curb, gettin' em rusty, puttin' em in the rain barrel,
gettin' em rusty?

Someone slip this tip to bluebell.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 16, 2019 05:11 PM (ptqGC)

22 OK you paste eating ass hat. Whatever makes you feel better. Now wipe that milk off your lip and STFU.

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at September 16, 2019 05:12 PM (Qf6sY)

23 Coulda happened just that way, you don't know.

Thing is the system is broken so we are all senile now.

Posted by: Living in Amash's District at September 16, 2019 05:12 PM (Xo3T0)

24 What, no running under sniper fire?

Piker.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at September 16, 2019 05:12 PM (zmxYi)

25 He shouldn't have called that guy Venus Williams.

Posted by: garrett at September 16, 2019 05:12 PM (yBOIx)

26 > his name was Corn Pop and he wore a bathing cap to the pool.

Keeps the Jheri Curl from forming an oil slick.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at September 16, 2019 05:12 PM (IRd4p)

27 Someone please tell me there's no Ted Kennedy Aquatic Center.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 16, 2019 05:12 PM (ptqGC)

28 He ran a bunch of bad boys

++++

Boys?

That 's rather.....problematical, isn't it?

Posted by: TANSTAAFL at September 16, 2019 05:12 PM (T09ml)

29 18 My theory is still that it was "Corn Chip", not "Corn Pop", and that it was a Mexican, not a black guy, and that the whole thing is a half-remembered dream from when Plugs nodded off during a Frito Bandito commercial.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at September 16, 2019 05:11 PM (IRd4p)


Aye, aye, aye-aye!!

Posted by: Roy at September 16, 2019 05:12 PM (Ciifn)

30
I did my part to keep the negros out of our pools!

Posted by: Joe "Cracker Jack" Biden at September 16, 2019 05:12 PM (AzW6q)

31 And then I told ol' Corn Pop, to have some more chicken, have some more pie. It doesn't matter if it's boiled or fried. Just eat it.

Posted by: Biden at September 16, 2019 05:12 PM (jYnPD)

32 So Joey Plugz and Corn Pone almost had a brawl, but in the end they hugged it out?

Posted by: sven at September 16, 2019 05:12 PM (xbWHd)

33 And that little girl was me...

Posted by: Hawkpilot at September 16, 2019 05:12 PM (7ZV3n)

34 I even doubt the diving board detail. Back in the '60s, public pools had 10-foot boards. Not three-meters.

Posted by: Bea Arthur's Dick at September 16, 2019 05:13 PM (jWe5r)

35 Then there was the time Count Chocula grabbed me from behind in a dark alley around midnight. I apologized for being a warm-blooded mammal. He retracted his fangs, said Ok, offered me his hand to shake, and we're still friends to this day. Swear it on my dead son's grave, man.

Posted by: Joe Biden at September 16, 2019 05:13 PM (5itaF)

36 Carrie Ann just won the internet today.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 16, 2019 05:13 PM (ptqGC)

37 I'm pretty sure Biden is confusing real life with the movies The Outsiders and Porky's.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at September 16, 2019 05:13 PM (LgJhO)

38 If he swore on that story "as a Biden," I'm sold. That's pretty much the Gold Standard.

Posted by: Oedipus at September 16, 2019 05:13 PM (N4r5a)

39 So what's the over/under before some leftist accuses Biden of racism?

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at September 16, 2019 05:13 PM (zmxYi)

40 'Unchain my Heart' - Joe Biden and the Corn Pop Gang (1962)

Posted by: garrett at September 16, 2019 05:13 PM (yBOIx)

41 Somewhere there is a black Providence gang banger by the name of Sugar Smack who but for the chance of fate determined by Biden's cereal of choice for that day is not the most famous Delaware gang banger to ever have lived.

Posted by: SH at September 16, 2019 05:13 PM (sX1BW)

42 Well his name was Joe Wheat. So corn, whatever. He had a Pop who shaved with a straight razor he said, and he was gonna get it from his house, man. He said he would threaten my cracker, excuse me for saying "cracker ass" with it. So, I'm not saying I'm brave or nothing, but its not everyone who would stand with brother Malcolm X on that bridge in Selma like I did.
I can see it like it was yesterday man. Governor Reagan was there with his boys, his dogs and the firehoses.
Just like yesterday. It was beautiful man.

Posted by: My Word as a Biden at September 16, 2019 05:13 PM (koNhm)

43 Was this before or after he gave his famous Welsh Coal Miner speech?

Posted by: Huck Follywood, a low grade social fever at September 16, 2019 05:13 PM (NVYyb)

44 I thought they don't have any buoyancy ?

Posted by: yacht rocker at September 16, 2019 05:13 PM (B+t5k)

45 21 And in those days, you remember the straight razors, you had to bang
'em on the curb, gettin' em rusty, puttin' em in the rain barrel,
gettin' em rusty?

Someone slip this tip to bluebell.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 16, 2019

*
*

I don't get what Joe is talking about (though of course I rarely ever do). Straight razors were made more effective by a coating of rust?? (Hard to rust stainless steel, ain't it?)

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at September 16, 2019 05:13 PM (ClOmq)

46 And the three...um.....boys in the gang were Snap, Crackle and Little Pop.

Posted by: TANSTAAFL at September 16, 2019 05:13 PM (T09ml)

47 Man, I must have had more than my limit or fell into that damn time machine.
I've been to this thread before.

Posted by: Ol' Town Drunk at September 16, 2019 05:14 PM (a3puQ)

48
"Aquatic Center" wasn't their first choice.
They almost named it The Joe Biden Place Where You Get All Wet And Shit In The Big Hole In The Ground.

Posted by: Soothsayer, very senile at September 16, 2019 05:14 PM (KL8os)

49 "I knew Captain Crunch."
" And you, Sir...are no Captain Crunch."

Posted by: Joe Biden at September 16, 2019 05:14 PM (yBOIx)

50 I love the video of Uncle Joe spittin' his dentures during the debate.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger at September 16, 2019 05:14 PM (pyXW1)

51 That CarrieAnne tweet is friggin hilarious.

Posted by: irright at September 16, 2019 05:14 PM (pMGkg)

52 The leader of the meanest gang in town went by Kaboom.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 16, 2019 05:14 PM (ptqGC)

53 *clink*clink*clink*

Joeeeeeey! Come out and plaaaaayyy!

Posted by: Corn Pop and the Romans at September 16, 2019 05:14 PM (iCClr)

54 Joey Bidet had a tussle with Huggy Bear Sr?

Posted by: Anna Puma at September 16, 2019 05:14 PM (7pqxB)

55 My favorite Joe Biden Moment was when he stood up before a graduating class at Princeton and threw down an IQ comparison challenge; Joe versus Princeton.

Posted by: Huck Follywood, a low grade social fever at September 16, 2019 05:14 PM (NVYyb)

56 36
Carrie Ann just won the internet today.


Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 16, 2019 05:13 PM (ptqGC)

I give her three sniffs.

Posted by: Biden at September 16, 2019 05:14 PM (jYnPD)

57 News has come out that there was indeed a guy calling himself "Corn Pop" alive at that time, and there was a gang called "The Romans."



They weren't shit. You should have seen Pop Corn and the Greeks.

Posted by: rickb223 at September 16, 2019 05:14 PM (AKYZm)

58 And in those days, you remember the straight razors, you had to bang
'em on the curb, gettin' em rusty, puttin' em in the rain barrel,
gettin' em rusty?

--------------

Unlike to today, when you can just order an already rusted straight razor directly from Amazon.

Posted by: SH at September 16, 2019 05:14 PM (sX1BW)

59 "I'm your Crunch-Berry."

Posted by: Joe Biden at September 16, 2019 05:15 PM (yBOIx)

60 Wait West Side Story was on Delaware? Where is Maria in this story.

Posted by: rhennigantx at September 16, 2019 05:15 PM (zksaJ)

61 So, some garrulous old man spins a yarn about days of old... pretty much sums it up... except that said old man is a notorious liar, so skepticism is mandatory.

Besides... Who Cares??

Posted by: kraken at September 16, 2019 05:15 PM (90T4r)

62 I carry a straight razor and a folding knife. I do not try to get them rusty. Perhaps I am doing something wrong here.

Posted by: madamemayhem (uppity wench) at September 16, 2019 05:15 PM (myjNJ)

63 Did you see the one where he said he and Barack were tested for AIDS ?

Posted by: jsg at September 16, 2019 05:15 PM (aDxMP)

64
I never heard of a pool called an "Aquatic Center."

Is it also an Aquarium?? With penguins and seals?

Posted by: Soothsayer, very senile at September 16, 2019 05:15 PM (KL8os)

65 >>Keeps the Jheri Curl from forming an oil slick.

Soul Glo.

Posted by: JackStraw at September 16, 2019 05:15 PM (ZLI7S)

66 "And Corn Pop was a bad dude. And he ran a bunch of bad boys.

"Yes, they were called The Sharks. The only gang tough enough to stand up to The Jets. They accepted me and put away the razors when I won the dance-off."

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at September 16, 2019 05:15 PM (zmxYi)

67 Oh lord. laughing so hard at the Carrie Ann tweet and the stupidity that is Biden.

Posted by: IC at September 16, 2019 05:15 PM (a0IVu)

68 Another week another Bullshit Biden tale. Why do we even bother to comment? Just pass the popcorn

Posted by: Sock Monkey... going boldly...somewhere...when I find my keys at September 16, 2019 05:15 PM (9Vttv)

69 is joe trying to get on unlimited fighting champions? why is this dumb fuck always trying to impress everybody with his tough guy bullshit? what a corncob clusterfuck.

Posted by: chavez the hugo at September 16, 2019 05:15 PM (KP5rU)

70 It's like Joe is trying to make up for some lack in himself or something.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 16, 2019 05:15 PM (ptqGC)

71 60 Wait West Side Story was on Delaware? Where is Maria in this story.
Posted by: rhennigantx at September 16, 2019 05:15 PM (zksaJ)

Sorry, just saw this!

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at September 16, 2019 05:16 PM (zmxYi)

72 > Straight razors were made more effective by a coating of rust?? (Hard to rust stainless steel, ain't it?)

Belief that rusty steel was more likely to cause tetanus and other infections.

The straight razors of that era weren't stainless.... stainless steel alloys sucked for anything with a quality edge up until around the 1980s or so.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at September 16, 2019 05:16 PM (IRd4p)

73 Joe was about to eat Corn Pop alive, then Cap'n Crunch showed up.

Posted by: Sphynx at September 16, 2019 05:16 PM (rXie1)

74 Now I didn't tell you guys the rest of the story which is a feel good story . If I'm lying I'm dying .

Corn Pop later went on to become a counselor and went on Twitter during the 1968 Chicago Riots and tried to calm the well spoken blacks that were not participating. My word as s Biden. ----Joe Biden

Posted by: Pig to man dreaming of lions at September 16, 2019 05:16 PM (hN5g8)

75 Just using the word "pomade" would be enough for a Republican to have to drop out.

Posted by: JoeF. at September 16, 2019 05:16 PM (NFEMn)

76 BIDEN! COME OUT AND PLAY-AYYYY!

Posted by: Corn Pop and the Lucky Charms at September 16, 2019 05:16 PM (RD7QR)

77 Yes. Joe Biden IS Grandpa Simpson.

Posted by: shibumi, in house selling hell at September 16, 2019 05:16 PM (gdfZ0)

78 The pomade comment made me cringe.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 16, 2019 05:16 PM (ptqGC)

79 Corn Pop was a bad dude. And he ran a bunch of bad boys.

Badder than old King Kong, and meaner than a junk yard dog.

Posted by: Roy at September 16, 2019 05:16 PM (Ciifn)

80 62 I carry a straight razor and a folding knife. I do not try to get them rusty. Perhaps I am doing something wrong here.
Posted by: madamemayhem (uppity wench) at September 16, 2019 05:15 PM (myjNJ)

If you carry your cell phone in your bra, you have the Trifecta.

Posted by: kraken at September 16, 2019 05:16 PM (90T4r)

81 Biden had balls of steel back when he had teeth.

Posted by: Doggfish at September 16, 2019 05:16 PM (rIuKr)

82 Rumor is that biden gets a new asshole every few years. He talks out of them so much he wears them out.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at September 16, 2019 05:16 PM (9Om/r)

83 Sargent Krupke calls bullshit

Posted by: rhennigantx at September 16, 2019 05:17 PM (zksaJ)

84 Corn Pop's real name was Neil Kinnock.

Posted by: Frasier Crane (I'm coming back!) at September 16, 2019 05:17 PM (dmYb7)

85 72 > Straight razors were made more effective by a coating of rust?? (Hard to rust stainless steel, ain't it?)

Belief that rusty steel was more likely to cause tetanus and other infections.

The straight razors of that era weren't stainless.... stainless steel alloys sucked for anything with a quality edge up until around the 1980s or so.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at September 16, 2019

*
*

Ah. Okay. So Unca Joe can actually remember some details that fit the story he's spinning.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at September 16, 2019 05:17 PM (ClOmq)

86 82 Rumor is that biden gets a new asshole every few years.

He had Obama for 8 years.

Posted by: Roy at September 16, 2019 05:17 PM (Ciifn)

87 Next week Joey Bidet will retell his encounter with LeRoy Brown

Posted by: Anna Puma at September 16, 2019 05:17 PM (7pqxB)

88 True Story. ..Joe Biden was the inspiration for Springteens 'Glory Days'

Posted by: A dude in MI at September 16, 2019 05:17 PM (WhTSP)

89 The black kids are looking around like, "Who's this old white dude? When can we get back in the pool?"

Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 16, 2019 05:17 PM (ptqGC)

90 As we said this morning, Biden, as a life guard, in 1962, at an all black public pool?

Because they weren't integrated back then.


Not buying it.

Posted by: rickb223 at September 16, 2019 05:18 PM (AKYZm)

91 I wonder if Ace ever got cut by Kaboom

Posted by: jsg at September 16, 2019 05:18 PM (aDxMP)

92 Corn Pop!
I just met a gangsta named Corn Pop!

Posted by: West side of Wilmington Story at September 16, 2019 05:18 PM (RD7QR)

93 "Joe Biden Aquatic Center"?

Y'all know that the I-95 rest stop in Delaware was renamed the "Biden Welcome Center" recently, right?

Posted by: Zombie Robbo the Llama Butcher at September 16, 2019 05:18 PM (dfRN6)

94 Joe's just working on his street cred. To bad it's from 50 years ago.

Posted by: Ben Had at September 16, 2019 05:18 PM (cgIyZ)

95
I just decided to call my bathroom The Soothsayer Aquatic Center.

Posted by: Soothsayer, very senile at September 16, 2019 05:18 PM (KL8os)

96 You know, that Corn Pop feller... turned out he was clean and articulate...

Posted by: kraken at September 16, 2019 05:18 PM (90T4r)

97 I can't even imagine what would happen if a Republican candidate had a bizarre story like this. It would instantly end their candidacy and be the butt of every joke for the next 30 years.

Posted by: Blago at September 16, 2019 05:18 PM (sjTfF)

98 Dance fight!

Posted by: Insomniac at September 16, 2019 05:18 PM (NWiLs)

99 I went to the on line version of the Washington Post Express. It's a nice new app on my phone. They have this thing where you can get your gangster name......Mines Cream of Wheat. Grits woulda been cool, but Cream of Wheat? Come on man! Suppose it's better than Maypo.

Word of Biden.

Posted by: Creepy Joe Biden at September 16, 2019 05:18 PM (ymnmz)

100
I like sniffing Pop Tarts

Posted by: Joe Biden at September 16, 2019 05:18 PM (t6XCL)

101 I'm guessing the real story is that in High School Joe was known as 'Esther' and he's developed the 'Joe's a hero' story to keep from blowing his brains out.

Posted by: East Bay Jay at September 16, 2019 05:19 PM (Lg/Uq)

102 There is iron in your words of death for all to see, lifeguard Joe.

Posted by: Corn Pop at September 16, 2019 05:19 PM (ZLI7S)

103 94 Joe's just working on his street cred. To bad it's from 50 years ago.

Posted by: Ben Had at September 16, 2019 05:18 PM (cgIyZ)

Gansta Joe

Posted by: IC at September 16, 2019 05:19 PM (a0IVu)

104 And then I convinced Butters to come out of retirement for the danceoff

Posted by: uncle handsy Joe at September 16, 2019 05:19 PM (zksaJ)

105 64 I never heard of a pool called an "Aquatic Center."

Is it also an Aquarium?? With penguins and seals?

Posted by: Soothsayer, very senile at September 16, 2019 05:15 PM (KL8os)


I'll see the aquarium and raise you a natatorium.

Posted by: Ol' Town Drunk at September 16, 2019 05:19 PM (a3puQ)

106 Tell us another one, Sheriff Joe!

Posted by: mrp at September 16, 2019 05:19 PM (Pqytn)

107 There was this time that me and some friends spent a night in the county jail after a wild night back in '62. Big colored fella named Sugar Bear grabs me by the shirt and says "who you can't get 'nuff of?"

True story

Posted by: Joe Biden at September 16, 2019 05:19 PM (qAR6u)

108 Bob Dole has a story like that but I think it was more manly.

Posted by: Cat Ass Trophy at September 16, 2019 05:19 PM (dNzKv)

109 What is it with gangsters and food items?

Cory Booker > T-BoneJoe Biden > Corn Pop
What's next, Buttigieg has a gangster buddy named Ham Hock?

Posted by: Fritz at September 16, 2019 05:19 PM (2Mnv1)

110 Corn Pop later joined forces with the Frito Bandito and bought a farm in Iowa.

Posted by: JoeF. at September 16, 2019 05:19 PM (NFEMn)

111 I was born a cornpopper's daughter in Butcher Holler. I mean Scranton.

Posted by: Joe Biden at September 16, 2019 05:19 PM (5itaF)

112 I don't need no stinkin' bathing cap.

Posted by: Corn Row at September 16, 2019 05:19 PM (2+84X)

113 Then there was that time when Joe and I rumbled with Tony and the Tigers.

ps; the delicious sugar frosting is part of the kink!

Posted by: Lucky the Leprechuan at September 16, 2019 05:19 PM (Ndje9)

114 I wonder if dude would Corn Pop a cap in yo ass back in those days.

Posted by: Bitter Clinger at September 16, 2019 05:19 PM (pyXW1)

115 If you carry your cell phone in your bra, you have the Trifecta.
Posted by: kraken at September 16, 2019 05:16 PM (90T4r)

I usually carry it in my pocket.

Posted by: madamemayhem (uppity wench) at September 16, 2019 05:20 PM (myjNJ)

116 That Carrie Ann tweet is the funniest damn thing I've read in awhile. I laughed and laughed and laughed.

Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at September 16, 2019 05:20 PM (NMAzL)

117 Just spitballin' here, but I'm willing to bet Joe is kinda racist. He bends over backwards to try to cover it up, but in doing so, fails miserably.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 16, 2019 05:20 PM (ptqGC)

118 87
Next week Joey Bidet will retell his encounter with LeRoy Brown

Posted by: Anna Puma at September 16, 2019 05:17 PM (7pqxB)


Well that was some story, but let me tell you the one about "Jim"

Posted by: Creepy Joe Biden at September 16, 2019 05:20 PM (ymnmz)

119 . . . and then the negroes stole our dates.

Posted by: Biden at September 16, 2019 05:20 PM (jYnPD)

120 109 What is it with gangsters and food items?

Cory Booker > T-BoneJoe Biden > Corn Pop
What's next, Buttigieg has a gangster buddy named Ham Hock?
Posted by: Fritz at September 16, 2019 05:19 PM (2Mnv1)

Honey Smacks

Posted by: Insomniac at September 16, 2019 05:20 PM (NWiLs)

121 I'll see the aquarium and raise you a natatorium.

Posted by: Ol' Town Drunk at September 16, 2019 05:19 PM (a3puQ)

=========================
A cee-ment pond.

Posted by: mrp at September 16, 2019 05:20 PM (Pqytn)

122 I just decided to call my bathroom The Soothsayer Aquatic Center.



Mine remains The Fortress of Solitude.

Posted by: Grump928(C) at September 16, 2019 05:20 PM (iCClr)

123 When you're insulting blacks
And threatening them with whacks
That's a-Biden

Posted by: kathysaysso at September 16, 2019 05:20 PM (vkS2Z)

124 "I'm not racist. Some of my best memories are about black people ... including that time I heroically faced down, what I am assuming was, a black gangster at a public swimming pool. Did I ever mention I was the first white person ever to visit inner city Baltimore? Yeah, I was. That was me."

Posted by: Frankovich's Monster at September 16, 2019 05:21 PM (hdzef)

125 Corn Pop was a punk next to my gang --Snap, Crackle and Pop. They were Cereal Killers, I tell ya

Posted by: Bad, Bad Corey Booker at September 16, 2019 05:21 PM (zMaZS)

126 102 There is iron in your words of death for all to see, lifeguard Joe.

Posted by: Corn Pop at September 16, 2019 05:19 PM (ZLI7S)


Big Joey speaks iron words of death and life.
And Gin and tonic.

Posted by: Ol' Town Drunk at September 16, 2019 05:21 PM (a3puQ)

127 Biden, as a life guard, in 1962, at an all black public pool?

Because they weren't integrated back then.


Not buying it.

east Texas 1962 did not have integrated swimming in public pools

Posted by: DanMan at September 16, 2019 05:21 PM (XTiHL)

128 Corn Pop was a Dapper Dan man...

Posted by: Hawkpilot at September 16, 2019 05:21 PM (7ZV3n)

129 Just spitballin' here, but I'm willing to bet Joe is kinda racist. He bends over backwards to try to cover it up, but in doing so, fails miserably.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 16, 2019 05:20 PM (ptqGC)

This

If he isn't actually "racist", he's certainly race "obsessed."

Posted by: JoeF. at September 16, 2019 05:21 PM (NFEMn)

130 > Just spitballin' here, but I'm willing to bet Joe is kinda racist.

Pretty much every guy of Biden's age is kinda racist.

Dems get a pass on that, though.

Look at Hillary's mentor, Robert Byrd -- the dude was an actual KLAN OFFICIAL at one time.


Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at September 16, 2019 05:21 PM (IRd4p)

131 I hope Joe Biden starts using Fred Sanford lines, and claims them as his own. It fits somehow.

Posted by: Huck Follywood, a low grade social fever at September 16, 2019 05:21 PM (NVYyb)

132 Biden is a shoe-in for the nomination. He's the only known quantity. He's also the only one in that crowd of shrill dullards close to entertaining.

Posted by: Dan Smoot's Apprentice at September 16, 2019 05:21 PM (H8QX8)

133 Corn Pop backed down because he saw that Fightin' Joe Biden was a combination of Alvin York, Manila John Basilone, Audie Murphy, and Rocky Marciano!!!

But without hair. Good thing Joe didn't have hair plugs at the time, or Corn Pop would have laughed, then cut out Joe's liver and handed it to him.

Posted by: Gref at September 16, 2019 05:21 PM (AMIL/)

134 Oddly enough, Mayor Pulled off his dedication of a nearby Colonic center without a single gaffe.

Posted by: garrett at September 16, 2019 05:22 PM (yBOIx)

135 And it's bad...bad..Leroy Corn-Pop....

Baddest man in the whole damn town....

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at September 16, 2019 05:22 PM (cqNba)

136 I'm thinking a white guy at a black pool, telling a black guy to get off the board and put on a bathing cap or "I'll come up and drag you off," wouldn't have gone over well with the majority of people at the pool. At. All.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 16, 2019 05:22 PM (ptqGC)

137 Corn Pop and Slo Joe became friends and joined the synchronized swim team. And now you know the rest of the story. Good day.

Posted by: Archer at September 16, 2019 05:22 PM (gmo/4)

138 Is he so far gone that he does not realize how stupid he sounds?

Posted by: IC at September 16, 2019 05:22 PM (a0IVu)

139 120
109 What is it with gangsters and food items?



Cory Booker > T-BoneJoe Biden > Corn Pop

What's next, Buttigieg has a gangster buddy named Ham Hock?

Posted by: Fritz at September 16, 2019 05:19 PM (2Mnv1)



Honey Smacks

Posted by: Insomniac at September 16, 2019 05:20 PM (NWiLs)


Quisp.

Posted by: Cuthbert the Witless at September 16, 2019 05:22 PM (ymnmz)

140 > Somewhere there is a black Providence gang banger by the name of Sugar Smack

Nah, Sugar Smack is Corn Pop's gay brother.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at September 16, 2019 05:22 PM (IRd4p)

141 The most frightening words in the English language:
"Kamala Harris has graciously accepted my offer of the Vice Presidency."

Posted by: My Word as a Biden at September 16, 2019 05:22 PM (koNhm)

142 Just spitballin' here, but I'm willing to bet Joe is
kinda racist. He bends over backwards to try to cover it up, but in
doing so, fails miserably.


Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 16, 2019 05:20 PM (ptqGC)

I don't think it's ill-intended racism, it's just racial awareness that isn't colorblind, you know what I mean? Awkward but not malicious. Like Juan Williams (and just about every other sane person) being highly aware of Islamic dudes praying to Allah at the airport. Can't do much about it.

Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at September 16, 2019 05:22 PM (NMAzL)

143 All bullshit from that old white man. He didn't have no chain. It was a noose and a jug of bleach!

Posted by: Jussie at September 16, 2019 05:23 PM (+lVUW)

144 Did I ever mention the time I helped a struggling lumberjack with the branding of his ox

Posted by: Joe's memoirs at September 16, 2019 05:23 PM (WhTSP)

145 The time I took the kids to a circus at the county fairgrounds in Dover. Crazy guy calls himself Kaboom the Clown scaring the shit out of my kids and grabbing Jill's ass.

One mean shot with my squirting flower and he ran back to his Volkswagen with 11 other clowns.

True Story

Posted by: Joe Biden at September 16, 2019 05:23 PM (qAR6u)

146 I'm thinking a white guy at a black pool, telling a black guy to get off the board and put on a bathing cap or "I'll come up and drag you off," wouldn't have gone over well with the majority of people at the pool. At. All.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 16, 2019 05:22 PM (ptqGC)

And if Joe felt comfortable even saying that to a black man, that only shows that Joe felt he was untouchable.

Think about why that is.

Posted by: JoeF. at September 16, 2019 05:23 PM (NFEMn)

147 Shredded Wheeeeeeeats, come out to playeeee.....

Posted by: Citizen Cake at September 16, 2019 05:23 PM (HmZuC)

148 Things best forgotten but seen at Wally World.

1. Women pulling their cellphone out from under their bra strap to call.

2. Women pulling soggy money out of their bras.

Posted by: Anna Puma at September 16, 2019 05:23 PM (7pqxB)

149 So I says to Corn Pop,
What the fo shizzlie my nizzle

That was me, I invented that

Posted by: Bruce at September 16, 2019 05:23 PM (vd8XM)

150 136 I'm thinking a white guy at a black pool, telling a black guy to get off the board and put on a bathing cap or "I'll come up and drag you off," wouldn't have gone over well with the majority of people at the pool. At. All.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 16, 2019 05:22 PM (ptqGC)


Yeah, no... Joe would have got curb stomped at some point that day... his Mad Ninja Skilz notwithstanding...

Posted by: kraken at September 16, 2019 05:23 PM (90T4r)

151 I just decided to call my bathroom The Soothsayer Aquatic Center.

And the bedroom is The Eros Center.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at September 16, 2019 05:23 PM (zmxYi)

152 There is iron in your words of death for all to see, lifeguard Joe.
Posted by: Corn Pop


I don't care who you are, that right there is funny.

Posted by: rickb223 at September 16, 2019 05:24 PM (AKYZm)

153 Biden: "Womb to tomb!"

Corn Pop: "Sperm to worm!"

(Lines from West Side Story. Actually I think if Biden had said, "Womb to tomb," Corn Pop would have flashed a grin, said, "Why not!" and opened him up with the razor.)

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at September 16, 2019 05:24 PM (ClOmq)

154 Kaboom Klown > Corn Pop

Posted by: Guy Smiley at September 16, 2019 05:24 PM (u//oP)

155 Corn Pop's given name was Barack Obama, Sr

Posted by: Ben Had at September 16, 2019 05:24 PM (cgIyZ)

156 I've had trouble with a Porn Cop too but that's a story for another day, like long after the statue of imitations for harmless fun with kids is over.

Posted by: Joe Biden at September 16, 2019 05:24 PM (5itaF)

157 So did Joe get off early to go to the junkyard to get a six foot length of chain or was there just one laying around the pool?

Posted by: My Word as a Biden at September 16, 2019 05:24 PM (koNhm)

158 109 fritz

Spotted Dick

Posted by: uncle handsy Joe at September 16, 2019 05:24 PM (zksaJ)

159 Joe Bee is one tough hombre. He's so tough, he ordered his security staff to stuff a reporter into a closet while Joe told one funny story after another - for cold, hard cash.

Posted by: mrp at September 16, 2019 05:24 PM (Pqytn)

160 The greatest trick Corn Pop ever pulled was making the world think he didn't exist.

Posted by: Verbal Kint at September 16, 2019 05:25 PM (ZLI7S)

161 Everyone knows that you don't tug on Superman's cape
you don't spit into the wind
you don't pull the mask off the ol' Lone Ranger
and you don't mess around with Joe.

Posted by: Colorado Alex In Exile at September 16, 2019 05:25 PM (wCmLp)

162
Joe Biden: There was this one time I was at the beach with Annette a gal I dated back then. And who do you think shows up? Eric von Zipper. True story. Now this von Zipper guy was a bad dude and he's gang was the worst. I told him, Look pal, you're not going to mess with Annette when she's doing a song and I give him this look, you know. And long story short he tells me that I'm his idol. My word as a Biden

Posted by: TheQuietMan at September 16, 2019 05:25 PM (Un9AW)

163 Is he so far gone that he does not realize how stupid he sounds?

Posted by: IC at September 16, 2019 05:22 PM (a0IVu)

I'm going to say yeah.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at September 16, 2019 05:25 PM (9Om/r)

164 And then his dog up and died.
Just...up and died.

Posted by: Miklos, happily houring at September 16, 2019 05:25 PM (QzkSJ)

165 "Behold my CHAINZ!"

Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 16, 2019 05:25 PM (ptqGC)

166 They wanna put y'all's Corn Pops back in chains!!!

Posted by: my word as a Biden at September 16, 2019 05:25 PM (786Ro)

167

Incidentally, the stupid Ms Monopoly youtube video uploaded by Hasbro has 162,090 views.

1,051 Likes
38,837 Dislikes

Wow.

Posted by: Soothsayer, very senile at September 16, 2019 05:25 PM (KL8os)

168 So did Joe get off early to go to the junkyard to get a six foot length of chain or was there just one laying around the pool?



It's where all the pool builder is.

Posted by: Grump928(C) at September 16, 2019 05:25 PM (iCClr)

169 148 Things best forgotten but seen at Wally World.

1. Women pulling their cellphone out from under their bra strap to call.

2. Women pulling soggy money out of their bras.
Posted by: Anna Puma at September 16, 2019 05:23 PM (7pqxB)

3. The ones most likely to wear spandex are the ones you least want to see in spandex

Posted by: West side of Wilmington Story at September 16, 2019 05:25 PM (RD7QR)

170 once Kaboom formed the Parthians gang, Joe and Corn Pop had no choice but to reach terms.

Posted by: Boulder t'hobo at September 16, 2019 05:26 PM (uF/4L)

171
Joey Bidet is a few Fruit Loops short of a bowl.

He's a place holder for she who sharts in bowls.

Posted by: DaveA at September 16, 2019 05:26 PM (FhXTo)

172 138 Is he so far gone that he does not realize how stupid he sounds?

Posted by: IC at September 16, 2019 05:22 PM (a0IVu)


Is that the Godsend of dementia?
One doesn't know he's lost his brains.

Posted by: Ol' Town Drunk at September 16, 2019 05:26 PM (a3puQ)

173 Joe would make a great TV comedy.
As a main character, he'd be constantly talking himself into embarrassing work problems and only getting out based on the goodwill of those around him. Hapless and clumsy around females, and still always sniffing away whenever he saw someone he thinks is cute.

Posted by: Huck Follywood, a low grade social fever at September 16, 2019 05:26 PM (NVYyb)

174 So which is funnier: imagining Joe Biden and Corn Pop is some sort of choreographed street fight ala Michael Jackson, or picturing some sort of gladiatorial-style combat of chain versus straight razor?

Posted by: Colorado Alex In Exile at September 16, 2019 05:26 PM (wCmLp)

175 And when I needed to clear the pool, I just swam naked.

Still works, too, I'll show ya.

Posted by: Joey B. at September 16, 2019 05:26 PM (QzkSJ)

176 The Goth gang in my 'hood was run by a really bad dude named Count Chocula.

Posted by: Joey Plugs Biden at September 16, 2019 05:26 PM (u//oP)

177 So, are we at war with Iran yet? I need to know since the car needs to be filled up.

Posted by: shibumi, in house selling hell at September 16, 2019 05:26 PM (gdfZ0)

178
If Charlie Murphy was still alive, he could make this story a great skit.

Posted by: Soothsayer, very senile at September 16, 2019 05:26 PM (KL8os)

179 And if Joe felt comfortable even saying that to a black man, that only shows that Joe felt he was untouchable.



Think about why that is.

Posted by: JoeF. at September 16, 2019 05:23 PM (NFEMn)

======================================
I'm thinkin' it never happened. That's what I'm thinkin'.

Posted by: mrp at September 16, 2019 05:26 PM (Pqytn)

180 What would a Biden/Trump debate look like?

How would the press protect Uncle Joe?

would Uncle Joe challenge PDT to a pushup contest, a fistfight or a paste eating contest?

Posted by: nurse ratched at September 16, 2019 05:26 PM (d7Ww2)

181 Erik von Zipper is more manly and believable than Joey Bidet.

Posted by: Anna Puma at September 16, 2019 05:27 PM (7pqxB)

182 He told this story back in '17. And two years later, he's getting worse and worse.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 16, 2019 05:27 PM (ptqGC)

183



BOO!!

Posted by: Boo Berry at September 16, 2019 05:27 PM (aKsyK)

184 You know who else kept the mechanics in the basement?

Posted by: Hands at September 16, 2019 05:27 PM (786Ro)

185

Note to Self : Don't Wind Up Your Teeth Before Putting Them In, Dummy!

Posted by: Joe Biden at September 16, 2019 05:27 PM (yBOIx)

186 He's going to start telling "Chuck Norris is so tough ..." jokes but substituting his name.

Posted by: Frasier Crane (I'm coming back!) at September 16, 2019 05:27 PM (dmYb7)

187 Buckwheat was Corn Pop's uncle. Coincidentally Biden's father also had a run in with him because Buckwheat had stolen his dog, Petey.

Posted by: Pig to man dreaming of lions at September 16, 2019 05:27 PM (hN5g8)

188 showtune sockoff

Posted by: joncelli, because somebody had to at September 16, 2019 05:28 PM (RD7QR)

189

Biden also told Corn Pop to listen to a record player at night because you people need to learn more words

Posted by: TheQuietMan at September 16, 2019 05:28 PM (Un9AW)

190 shibumi, The war won't last for more than a day so go ahead and fill up.

Posted by: Ben Had at September 16, 2019 05:28 PM (cgIyZ)

191 Lemme tell ya about the time I was abducted and probed by that little bastard Quisp.

Posted by: Joey Plugs Biden at September 16, 2019 05:28 PM (u//oP)

192 FIRST!!!!!

Posted by: Sponge at September 16, 2019 05:28 PM (Zz0t1)

193 When Joe blew the whistle for Adult Swim, Joe got in to protect the little girls from the Corn Pop gang.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 16, 2019 05:28 PM (ptqGC)

194 This story is 100% bullshit. Everyone knows black people can't swim.

Posted by: Lurking Lurker - Not In My Purview at September 16, 2019 05:28 PM (FiUMj)

195 176
The Goth gang in my 'hood was run by a really bad dude named Count Chocula.





Posted by: Joey Plugs Biden at September 16, 2019 05:26 PM (u//oP)

A story for another time is when I faced down the mixed race, oriental european gang leader, Rice Chex.

Posted by: Biden at September 16, 2019 05:28 PM (jYnPD)

196 And then his dog up and died.

Just...up and died.



Posted by: Miklos, happily houring at September 16, 2019 05:25 PM (QzkSJ)


Mr Joejangles?

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at September 16, 2019 05:28 PM (9Om/r)

197 *static*

Posted by: the steel plate in Joe's head at September 16, 2019 05:28 PM (v0R5T)

198 So did Joe practice lifeguarding while white in the nude or was that something he developed a penchant for later on while in the presence of female SS agents?

Posted by: WonkishRogue at September 16, 2019 05:28 PM (vBH2i)

199 Obligatory Eddie Murphy "Breakfast Cereal" bit here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4XDnuQx1yP4

Posted by: Sponge at September 16, 2019 05:28 PM (Zz0t1)

200 Do I recall that Trump himself actually interrupted a mugging several years ago?

Posted by: Miklos, vaguely recalling at September 16, 2019 05:29 PM (QzkSJ)

201 177 So, are we at war with Iran yet? I need to know since the car needs to be filled up.

Posted by: shibumi, in house selling hell at September 16, 2019 05:26 PM (gdfZ0)


Oil is not up, gold is not up.
I speculated they would both be rockets.

Posted by: Ol' Town Speculator at September 16, 2019 05:29 PM (a3puQ)

202 My fav Joe Biden tick is saying, 'my word as a Biden.'

That's actually the tipoff that he's lying or to be generous, deeply embellishing a tale.

Posted by: MJ at September 16, 2019 05:29 PM (gAMkn)

203 Did i ever tell you about the time i took on the Van Buren gang?

True story. Gather round

Posted by: Bruce at September 16, 2019 05:29 PM (vd8XM)

204 And then his dog up and died.

Just...up and died.



Posted by: Miklos, happily houring at September 16, 2019 05:25 PM (QzkSJ)


Mr Joejangles?



After twenty years he still grieves.

Posted by: Grump928(C) at September 16, 2019 05:29 PM (iCClr)

205 Biden is toast. He's a lying turd with brain issues and is 100 years old to boot. I hope he gets the nomination.

Posted by: USNtakim at September 16, 2019 05:29 PM (0OmEj)

206 I really wish Joe had worked as a caddy and had stories to tell. It would be like Corky Shack.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 16, 2019 05:29 PM (ptqGC)

207 I'm drowning and he thinks I'm waving so he just waves back at me.Worst lifeguard ever.

Posted by: Homie Don't Swim at September 16, 2019 05:29 PM (2+84X)

208 How are Democrats listening to this guy without constant, full scale cringe? He has most of Hillary's biggest vulnerabilities, and the fact he's obviously senile is tacked on. Another lamb waiting to get slaughtered by Trump. Can't wait.

Posted by: trev006 at September 16, 2019 05:30 PM (AIfDi)

209 How much did they have to pay all those kids standing behind Joe?

The one gal looks like she wants to cut a bitch.

Posted by: Ben Had at September 16, 2019 05:30 PM (cgIyZ)

210 I just saw a recent picture of Ric Ocasek. ok, I see why he croaked. He looked like RBG with a straight black wig on.

Posted by: Tom Servo at September 16, 2019 05:30 PM (Kpl3J)

211 Corn Pop used to be called Sugar Pop, but The Man told him he had to change his name because sugar is bad for you.

Posted by: nerdygirl at September 16, 2019 05:30 PM (+lVUW)

212 Joe needs to stop making shit up. It's embarrassing.

Posted by: Brian Williams at September 16, 2019 05:30 PM (ZLI7S)

213 No wonder Joe's confused -- here's the etymology of the cereal name (from wikipedia):

The cereal was introduced in 1950 as Corn Pops.[1] In 1951, the name was changed to Sugar Corn Pops[2] and later it was called Sugar Pops. It was the sponsor for "The Adventures of Wild Bill Hickok" radio and television show. The name was changed to Sugar Corn Pops in 1978, and finally to Corn Pops in 1984, a time when many cereals dropped the word "sugar" from their titles for marketing reasons. In January 2006, the name of the cereal was changed to Pops, but after a few months of poor reception, was changed back to Corn Pops.

Posted by: Hands at September 16, 2019 05:30 PM (786Ro)

214 I actually saw Eddie Murphy do the Breakfast cereal bit live, when it was a still new bit.

Murphy was red-hot at the time. Crowd was full of celebs. Rick James was sitting a few rows in front of us with The Weather Girls.

Posted by: Guy Smiley at September 16, 2019 05:30 PM (u//oP)

215 And if Joe felt comfortable even saying that to a black man, that only shows that Joe felt he was untouchable.



Think about why that is.

Posted by: JoeF. at September 16, 2019 05:23 PM (NFEMn)

======================================
I'm thinkin' it never happened. That's what I'm thinkin'.
Posted by: mrp at September 16, 2019 05:26 PM (Pqytn)

You're probably right, but I was thinking more along the lines that for Joe to talk to a "bad dude" black guy like that -in 1962, in the South- he was banking on the black guy letting it slide for fear of getting stomped by a white mob or the cops. In other words, Joe was using his White Privilege card.....

Posted by: JoeF. at September 16, 2019 05:31 PM (NFEMn)

216 Biden was unchained in 1962?

Posted by: dantesed at September 16, 2019 05:31 PM (88xKn)

217 210 I just saw a recent picture of Ric Ocasek. ok, I see why he croaked. He looked like RBG with a straight black wig on.
Posted by: Tom Servo at September 16, 2019 05:30 PM (Kpl3J)


Yep. He looked reeaaallly bad..

Posted by: kraken at September 16, 2019 05:31 PM (90T4r)

218 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mOYZaiDZ7BM

For my hero joe biden

Posted by: Nevergiveup at September 16, 2019 05:31 PM (p0A33)

219 Corn Pop and Slo Joe's face off had the combat music from Star Trek OS (Pon Far) playing in the background.

Posted by: Archer at September 16, 2019 05:31 PM (gmo/4)

220 > Do I recall that Trump himself actually interrupted a mugging several years ago?

That is correct. I think more like 20 years ago, but yeah, it happened.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at September 16, 2019 05:31 PM (IRd4p)

221 Corn Pop > T-Bone

Posted by: Trump poisoned my cat at September 16, 2019 05:31 PM (iw59Q)

222 >>Rick James was sitting a few rows in front of us


Pass the Joint

Posted by: garrett at September 16, 2019 05:31 PM (yBOIx)

223 200 Do I recall that Trump himself actually interrupted a mugging several years ago?

Posted by: Miklos, vaguely recalling at September 16, 2019 05:29 PM (QzkSJ)


If so, the Left will claim he was oppressing a poor person trying get money to buy food for his twelve kids who all had cancer.

Posted by: Gref at September 16, 2019 05:31 PM (AMIL/)

224 So I says "Hey Corn Pop where you goin' with that gun in your hand."
And he say "I'm gonna go shoot my old lady. Caught her messing round with another man."
So I give him the look. You know The Look. And he looks back at me and says "okay Joe I gotcha."
Never any more trouble from him after that.

Posted by: My Word as a Biden at September 16, 2019 05:31 PM (koNhm)

225 > Yep. He looked reeaaallly bad..

I was surprised that he was 75 years old.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at September 16, 2019 05:31 PM (IRd4p)

226 I completely believe the story - doesn't it just prove how problematic, toxic and racist Joe is? #Cancel this racist old man who won't leave Corn Pop and The Romans alone.

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at September 16, 2019 05:31 PM (oZ6kz)

227 So that guy could have been called corn pop for reasons other than cereal no?

Posted by: Lurking Lurker - Not In My Purview at September 16, 2019 05:31 PM (FiUMj)

228 Part of this complete breakfast campaign!

Posted by: Hands at September 16, 2019 05:32 PM (786Ro)

229 Just spitballin' here, but I'm willing to bet Joe is kinda racist. He bends over backwards to try to cover it up, but in doing so, fails miserably.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 16, 2019 05:20 PM (ptqGC)

But poor kids are just as smart as white kids!!!

Posted by: Sponge at September 16, 2019 05:32 PM (Zz0t1)

230 Yeah, Trump once hopped out of his limo on a NYC street to interrupt a mugging!

Posted by: Guy Smiley at September 16, 2019 05:32 PM (u//oP)

231 I just saw a recent picture of Ric Ocasek. ok, I see why he croaked. He looked like RBG with a straight black wig on.
Posted by: Tom Servo at September 16, 2019 05:30 PM (Kpl3J)

It's come out that he recently had surgery. For cancer?

Posted by: JoeF. at September 16, 2019 05:32 PM (NFEMn)

232 The real Joe Biden would have gave him a coupon for a free pint of fried chicken livers from Maryland Fried Chicken.

The real Cornpop would have made Joe drive him there, took his wallet, and his keys.

Posted by: Burnt Toast at September 16, 2019 05:32 PM (1g7ch)

233 I still want to know why Biden was waving chains around at black folks!

And why there's no outrage that he did it!

Posted by: DamnedYankee at September 16, 2019 05:32 PM (37IEG)

234 Oil is not up, gold is not up.
I speculated they would both be rockets.
Posted by: Ol' Town Speculator at September 16, 2019 05:29 PM (a3puQ)

Looks to me like Brent Crude and WTI Crude were both up $8.00 today (about 15%)

Posted by: Tom Servo at September 16, 2019 05:32 PM (Kpl3J)

235 > So I give him the look. You know The Look.

Then I took him out behind the gym and beat hell out of him.

Posted by: Joe Biden at September 16, 2019 05:32 PM (IRd4p)

236
Rick James was sitting a few rows in front of us with The Weather Girls.

Then you went back to Rick James' apartment and Prince made you pancakes?

Posted by: Soothsayer, very senile at September 16, 2019 05:32 PM (KL8os)

237 An Indian rope burn for you, and an Indian rope burn for you, and a wedgie for you, and a noogie for you, and ... hey, kid, gimme your lunch money!

Posted by: The Bully at September 16, 2019 05:33 PM (WGyIB)

238 "Corn Pop was very well spoken. Reminded me of Obama, who, of course, I hadn't met yet, I think, but one time in 2000 or 1958, Obama did pull a rusty razor on me in the Senate Cloakroom after I told him to put on a swim cap. He refused. That's why he asked me to be his VP. True story."

Posted by: Frankovich's Monster at September 16, 2019 05:33 PM (hdzef)

239 222 >>Rick James was sitting a few rows in front of us


Pass the Joint
Posted by: garrett at September 16, 2019 05:31 PM (yBOIx)


That would've been awesome since I was born in the city they call Buffalo (zero degrees below), for real.

Posted by: Guy Smiley at September 16, 2019 05:33 PM (u//oP)

240 208 How are Democrats listening to this guy without constant, full scale cringe? ...
Posted by: trev006 at September 16, 2019 05:30 PM (AIfDi)


They think what they're told to think
They say what they're told to say
They go where they're told to go
They do what they're told to do

Posted by: Ol' Town Speculator at September 16, 2019 05:33 PM (a3puQ)

241 Before Corn Pop and me shook hands and parted friends, he told me down on Market St. there's a girl named Cocoa Pebbles who'd work me good, tell her Corn Pop sent me.

Posted by: Joe Biden at September 16, 2019 05:33 PM (qAR6u)

242 231 I just saw a recent picture of Ric Ocasek. ok, I see why he croaked. He looked like RBG with a straight black wig on.
Posted by: Tom Servo at September 16, 2019 05:30 PM (Kpl3J)

It's come out that he recently had surgery. For cancer?
Posted by: JoeF. at September 16, 2019 05:32 PM (NFEMn)

Don't know. I guess the surgery was successful, but the patient died.

Posted by: Tom Servo at September 16, 2019 05:33 PM (Kpl3J)

243 219 Corn Pop and Slo Joe's face off had the combat music from Star Trek OS (Pon Far) playing in the background.
Posted by: Archer at September 16, 2019 05:31 PM (gmo/4)

duh duh DA DA DA DA DA duh duh DA DA

Posted by: joncelli, because somebody had to at September 16, 2019 05:33 PM (RD7QR)

244 A story for another time is when I faced down the mixed race, oriental european gang leader, Rice Chex.
Posted by: Biden at September 16, 2019 05:28 PM (jYnPD)

My vote for thread winner.....

Posted by: Sponge at September 16, 2019 05:33 PM (Zz0t1)

245 You're probably right, but I was thinking more along the lines that for Joe to talk to a "bad dude" black guy like that -in 1962, in the South- he was banking on the black guy letting it slide for fear of getting stomped by a white mob or the cops. In other words, Joe was using his White Privilege card.....
Posted by: JoeF. at September 16, 2019 05:31 PM (NFEMn)

__

Delaware is (was) the South?

Posted by: Lurking Lurker - Not In My Purview at September 16, 2019 05:33 PM (FiUMj)

246 His gang was 'Snap' and 'Crackle.'

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at September 16, 2019 05:33 PM (oVJmc)

247 >>That would've been awesome since I was born in the city they call Buffalo (zero degrees below), for real.


Awesome.

That's one funky ass LP.

Posted by: garrett at September 16, 2019 05:34 PM (yBOIx)

248 Joe's Cornpop story already has more corroboration than Blasey Ford's swimsuit rape story. Just sayin'.

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at September 16, 2019 05:34 PM (oZ6kz)

249 My people called it maize pops.

/Fauxcahantas

Posted by: Anon a mouse at September 16, 2019 05:34 PM (6qErC)

250 I *SO BADLY* want Grandpa Simpson to go the distance this year.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at September 16, 2019 05:34 PM (oVJmc)

251 Then there was that Irish gang we always had trouble with. The Lucky Charms, they called themselves.

Posted by: Joe Biden at September 16, 2019 05:34 PM (IRd4p)

252 148 Things best forgotten but seen at Wally World.

1. Women pulling their cellphone out from under their bra strap to call.

2. Women pulling soggy money out of their bras.
Posted by: Anna Puma

I worked with a woman whose high school aged son was working at Subway. A woman pulled her money out from her bra to pay him. The poor kid was gobsmacked.

Posted by: nerdygirl at September 16, 2019 05:35 PM (+lVUW)

253 My fav Joe Biden tick is saying, 'my word as a Biden.'

That's actually the tipoff that he's lying or to be generous, deeply embellishing a tale.
Posted by: MJ at September 16, 2019 05:29 PM (gAMkn)

Yep, that's his version of 'I shit you not"

Posted by: AZ Hi Desert (Gringo fuertemente armado) at September 16, 2019 05:35 PM (ZFYYP)

254 Anyone who always finishes their yarns with " true story" well...

Posted by: kraken at September 16, 2019 05:35 PM (90T4r)

255 Joey Choo Choo trying to prove to America he's a real tough guy. Picking on a black kid at the public pool threatening to put CHAINS on him.

Racist fuck.

Posted by: Sponge at September 16, 2019 05:35 PM (Zz0t1)

256 @251
Okay I laughed.

Posted by: My Word as a Biden at September 16, 2019 05:35 PM (koNhm)

257 Joe's Cornpop story already has more corroboration than Blasey Ford's swimsuit rape story. Just sayin'.
Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at September 16, 2019 05:34 PM (oZ6kz)

I haven't seen any evidence that Biden wasn't the lifeguard at that pool too, now that you mention it.

Posted by: hogmartin will be sad if you don't register for the fall MIMoMe at September 16, 2019 05:35 PM (t+qrx)

258 > Then there was that Irish gang we always had trouble with. The Lucky Charms, they called themselves.

They'd rumble with the Jewish gang, the Kashas, nearly every weekend.

Posted by: Joe Biden at September 16, 2019 05:35 PM (IRd4p)

259 Just spitballin' here, but I'm willing to bet Joe is kinda racist.

---

What gave you that idea?

Posted by: SMH at September 16, 2019 05:35 PM (RU4sa)

260


After his run in with Corn Pop, Biden then went on to take down the Snap Crackle and Pop gang

Posted by: TheQuietMan at September 16, 2019 05:35 PM (kw5n8)

261 >>2. Women pulling soggy money out of their bras.
Posted by: Anna Puma

I worked with a woman whose high school aged son was working at Subway. A woman pulled her money out from her bra to pay him. The poor kid was gobsmacked.


TRUE FACT : 88% of ALL us paper currency tests positive for Tit Sweat.

Posted by: garrett at September 16, 2019 05:35 PM (yBOIx)

262 "And Corn Pop was a bad dude. And he ran a bunch of bad boys."


Corn Pop was actually white and his real name was Chuck Daly.

Posted by: Hands at September 16, 2019 05:36 PM (786Ro)

263 Anyone who always finishes their yarns with " true story" well...
Posted by: kraken at September 16, 2019 05:35 PM (90T4r)

All of mine start with "so there I was - and this is no-shit..."

Posted by: hogmartin will be sad if you don't register for the fall MIMoMe at September 16, 2019 05:36 PM (t+qrx)

264 Yep, that's his version of 'I shit you not"
Posted by: AZ Hi Desert

Yeah, that's the ticket!

Posted by: Miklos, congenial liar at September 16, 2019 05:36 PM (QzkSJ)

265 Corn Pop > T-Bone
Posted by: Trump poisoned my cat at September 16, 2019 05:31 PM (iw59Q)

You take that back!!!

Posted by: C. Booker at September 16, 2019 05:36 PM (vz4z/)

266 252 148 Things best forgotten but seen at Wally World.

1. Women pulling their cellphone out from under their bra strap to call.

2. Women pulling soggy money out of their bras.
Posted by: Anna Puma

I worked with a woman whose high school aged son was working at Subway. A woman pulled her money out from her bra to pay him. The poor kid was gobsmacked.
Posted by: nerdygirl at September 16, 2019 05:35 PM (+lVUW)

Seen that at a Walmart.... and yeah, the woman was fat, and the money was sodden....

Posted by: kraken at September 16, 2019 05:36 PM (90T4r)

267 Then there was that Irish gang we always had trouble with. The Lucky Charms, they called themselves.

Posted by: Joe Biden at September 16, 2019 05:34 PM (IRd4p)

And you had to really be way of the Puerto Rican gang, they were tough hombres, The Crispix.

Posted by: JoeF. at September 16, 2019 05:36 PM (NFEMn)

268 Yeah, no... Joe would have got curb stomped at some point that day... his Mad Ninja Skilz notwithstanding...
Posted by: kraken

Maybe Corn Pop and the bad kids he ran with were a bunch of scary, ghetto 4 year olds.

Posted by: nerdygirl at September 16, 2019 05:37 PM (+lVUW)

269 And Corn Pop was a bad...motherf...r.

Posted by: Anon a mouse at September 16, 2019 05:37 PM (6qErC)

270 So I give him the look. You know The Look.



Walking like a man. Hitting like a hammer. She's a juvenile scam. Never was a quitter. Tasty like a raindrop. She's got the look.

Posted by: Roxette at September 16, 2019 05:37 PM (gmo/4)

271 www.yahoo.com/ric ocaseks cause of death sweet final drawing revealed
https://tinyurl.com/y5xyvprc

Posted by: Skip at September 16, 2019 05:37 PM (ZCEU2)

272 Corn Pop was going to make Shredded White out of Joe.

Posted by: Ben Had at September 16, 2019 05:37 PM (cgIyZ)

273 They used those switchblades to cut the onion on Joe's belt.

'Twas the style at the time.

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at September 16, 2019 05:37 PM (oZ6kz)

274 Scientists try, but fail, ...

https://tinyurl.com/y6nbl43y

... honorary morons all.

Either that, or really gullible.

Posted by: Off the reservation at September 16, 2019 05:37 PM (vWMNq)

275 261

TRUE FACT : 88% of ALL us paper currency tests positive for Tit Sweat.
Posted by: garrett at September 16, 2019 05:35 PM (yBOIx)


" My word as a Biden"...

Posted by: kraken at September 16, 2019 05:37 PM (90T4r)

276 Grandpa Simpson still doesn't recognie Missou-rah as a state.

Posted by: Lurking Lurker - Not In My Purview at September 16, 2019 05:37 PM (FiUMj)

277 > Corn Pop was going to make Shredded White out of Joe.

Good one.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at September 16, 2019 05:37 PM (IRd4p)

278 So what's the over/under before some leftist accuses Biden of racism?

See Blow, Charles, today's NYT>

Posted by: Bandersnatch at September 16, 2019 05:37 PM (FNXDu)

279
A standard leftist article of faith is that "Trump has lied thousands of times." Biden has actually done that, for real; not one word is said about it.

Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at September 16, 2019 05:37 PM (1RlY2)

280 And Corn Pop was a bad...motherf...r.
Posted by: Anon a mouse at September 16, 2019 05:37 PM (6qErC)

SHUT YO MOUF!

Posted by: Sponge at September 16, 2019 05:38 PM (Zz0t1)

281 He points out that whites made up 73% of the county, making this claim highly dubious.

Yeah, but they make up even more of the swimmers! D'oh...

Posted by: Uncle Joe Remembahs... at September 16, 2019 05:38 PM (f6lTY)

282 Maybe Corn Pop and the bad kids he ran with were a bunch of scary, ghetto 4 year olds.

Posted by: nerdygirl at September 16, 2019 05:37 PM (+lVUW)

Bebe's kids!

Posted by: Archer at September 16, 2019 05:38 PM (gmo/4)

283 a chain to separate the deep end ... even in 62 I think they had a rope with little floats on it ... a chain would be under water, unless pulled so tight it would pull out from the wall ... I guess a chain could have floats, but chain and deep end don't really go together, if safety is an issue.

Then the guy just "cut a length of chain" ... like, he had a bolt cutters on hand? And he was OK with messing up the chain for the deep end.


not much Joe says makes sense ... but who knows, maybe he knew some black yout's in his day, so what.

Posted by: illiniwek at September 16, 2019 05:38 PM (Cus5s)

284 When the Cheerios get that kinda smile, you know there's gonna be trouble.

Posted by: Miklos, cheerio, old chap! at September 16, 2019 05:38 PM (QzkSJ)

285 At the end of the Fox story about Joe Biden telling lies about Corn Pop, there's this story I had never heard:

The Washington Free Beacon's Alex Griswold reacted with skepticism to a Biden story about how his father, in the 1950s, had reacted to the sight of two men kissing by telling his son: "Joey, they love each other, it's simple.

"Oh sure, I absolutely believe that Joe Biden saw two men kissing publicly in the 1950s, and that his Irish-Catholic father reacted by approving of it," Griswold wrote.

Posted by: m at September 16, 2019 05:38 PM (hnjoD)

286 Corn Pop sounds like an off color song.

Posted by: jennifer anniston's perky nipples at September 16, 2019 05:38 PM (6OoFY)

287 my word as a Clinton.
my word as a Cuomo.
my word as a French

Posted by: Boulder t'hobo at September 16, 2019 05:38 PM (uF/4L)

288 OK I am now officially in favor of going to all digital currency.

Posted by: Lurking Lurker - Not In My Purview at September 16, 2019 05:38 PM (FiUMj)

289

Wasn't there something about a racist Corn Pop box a few years back?

Like the dark Corn Pop on the box was a janitor or something?

Posted by: Bitter Clinger at September 16, 2019 05:39 PM (pyXW1)

290 > Oh sure, I absolutely believe that Joe Biden saw two men kissing publicly in the 1950s, and that his Irish-Catholic father reacted by approving of it

Oh, COME ON, Joe.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at September 16, 2019 05:39 PM (IRd4p)

291 Scientists try, but fail, ...

https://tinyurl.com/y6nbl43y

... honorary morons all.

Either that, or really gullible.

Posted by: Off the reservation at September 16, 2019 05:37 PM (vWMNq)

Didn't Mythbusters prove that shit was shit a long time ago?

Who funded that shit? They should've spent that money elsewhere. That's some stupid shit right there.

Posted by: Sponge at September 16, 2019 05:40 PM (Zz0t1)

292 Things best forgotten but seen at Wally World.

Women pulling soggy money out of their bras.
Posted by: Anna Puma


I have seen signs on mom & pops that refuse to take bra money during the summer.

Posted by: rickb223 at September 16, 2019 05:40 PM (AKYZm)

293 o that guy could have been called corn pop for reasons other than cereal no?
Posted by: Lurking Lurker - Not In My Purview at September 16, 2019 05:31 PM (FiUMj)

Dyslexic gang leader.

Posted by: Pig to man dreaming of lions at September 16, 2019 05:40 PM (hN5g8)

294 And then you had the toughest of them all. I mean, they didn't even have a name, man. But they were selling a lot of drugs. They called it Product 19....

Posted by: JoeF. at September 16, 2019 05:40 PM (NFEMn)

295 Someone please tell me there's no Ted Kennedy Aquatic Center.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 16, 2019 05:12 PM (ptqGC)

The Ted Kennedy Aquatic Center and Car Wash.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at September 16, 2019 05:40 PM (jEgzt)

296 SHUT YO MOUF!"

I'm talking about Pop!

Posted by: Anon a mouse at September 16, 2019 05:40 PM (6qErC)

297 OK I am now officially in favor of going to all digital currency.


There will be titty sweat on that, too.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at September 16, 2019 05:40 PM (FNXDu)

298 Are there any breakfast cereal mascots of color? Would Count Chocula qualify? Is cereal white supremacist? Must we all have pancakes with Aunt Jemima syrup daily as reparations?

Posted by: Rusty Nail at September 16, 2019 05:40 PM (zPDJi)

299 You can mess with the Romans, the Fordham Baldies, hell even the Wanderers, but you never, ever fuck with The Wongs.

Posted by: Gossamer Penguin at September 16, 2019 05:40 PM (nQK4W)

300 284
When the Cheerios get that kinda smile, you know there's gonna be trouble.

Posted by: Miklos, cheerio, old chap! at September 16, 2019 05:38 PM (QzkSJ)

Don't get me started on the Quakers and those wild oats.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at September 16, 2019 05:40 PM (jYnPD)

301
Corn Pop was later cut down on the mean streets of Wilmington, in an area called The Cereal Bowl. He grew soggy in the rain.

Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at September 16, 2019 05:40 PM (1RlY2)

302 274 Scientists try, but fail, ...

https://tinyurl.com/y6nbl43y

... honorary morons all.

Either that, or really gullible.
Posted by: Off the reservation at September 16, 2019 05:37 PM (vWMNq)

oh god no no no no no...

you gonna cut your food with that knife?

Posted by: Tom Servo at September 16, 2019 05:40 PM (Kpl3J)

303 Pop Quiz: Which of the following people really exist(ed)?

T-Bone
Haven Monahan
Corn Pop
AR15 owners who really want Beto to take their guns
The two white guys in MAGA hats who told Jussie "this is MAGA Country"
Ron Mexico
Carlos Danger

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at September 16, 2019 05:40 PM (oZ6kz)

304 Don't recall who it was here that proposed the theory of Biden getting the nod only to have his VP - who could never win on his/her own - run things. I'm on board with that theory.

Posted by: Lurking Lurker - Not In My Purview at September 16, 2019 05:40 PM (FiUMj)

305 he Washington Free Beacon's Alex Griswold reacted with skepticism to a Biden story about how his father, in the 1950s, had reacted to the sight of two men kissing by telling his son: "Joey, they love each other, it's simple.

"Oh sure, I absolutely believe that Joe Biden saw two men kissing publicly in the 1950s, and that his Irish-Catholic father reacted by approving of it," Griswold wrote.
Posted by: m at September 16, 2019 05:38 PM (hnjoD)

It was two Italian guys greeting each other by kissing on the cheek

Posted by: JoeF. at September 16, 2019 05:41 PM (NFEMn)

306 *static*
sst...the weather today in Santiago...sst...degrees...
*static*

Posted by: the steel plate in Joe's head at September 16, 2019 05:41 PM (v0R5T)

307 Someone please tell me there's no Ted Kennedy Aquatic Center.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 16, 2019 05:12 PM (ptqGC)



The Ted Kennedy Aquatic Center and Car Wash.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at September 16, 2019 05:40 PM (jEgzt)

and U-boat training.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at September 16, 2019 05:41 PM (9Om/r)

308 Papa Oumuamua

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-7457233

Posted by: Off the reservation at September 16, 2019 05:41 PM (vWMNq)

309 I'm almost embarrassed for this idiot. Almost.

Posted by: Jewells45 at September 16, 2019 05:41 PM (dUJdY)

310 off gub thread sock...

well, i survived another VA visit...

they were only *somewhat* difficult about things.

Posted by: redc1c4 at September 16, 2019 05:41 PM (MmMhO)

311 Pop Quiz: Which of the following people really exist(ed)?

T-Bone
Haven Monahan
Corn Pop
AR15 owners who really want Beto to take their guns
The two white guys in MAGA hats who told Jussie "this is MAGA Country"
Ron Mexico
Carlos Danger
Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at September 16, 2019 05:40 PM (oZ6kz)

Didn't Owebama talk about a cousin Pookie or some shit once?

Posted by: Sponge at September 16, 2019 05:41 PM (Zz0t1)

312 We'll know Joe is really far gone when he starts telling his crazy grandpa stories, then repeats them word for word 2 minutes later.

Posted by: nerdygirl at September 16, 2019 05:42 PM (+lVUW)

313 Corn Pop had a girlfriend, her name was Special Kay.

Posted by: Tom Servo at September 16, 2019 05:42 PM (Kpl3J)

314 Don't recall who it was here that proposed the theory of Biden getting the nod (...)
Posted by: Lurking Lurker - Not In My Purview at September 16, 2019 05:40 PM (FiUMj)

He's had the nod for years and it's only gotten worse.

Posted by: hogmartin will be sad if you don't register for the fall MIMoMe at September 16, 2019 05:42 PM (t+qrx)

315 "And Corn Pop was a bad...motherf...r."

shut your mouth!

Posted by: Boulder t'hobo at September 16, 2019 05:42 PM (uF/4L)

316 I saw Corn Pop open for Kernel Panic at the Salty Jam Music Festival in '99.

Posted by: ShainS -- Appeasement is a Blessing of Liberty! at September 16, 2019 05:42 PM (k4LPa)

317 And that corn pop little girls....was me

Posted by: Lurking Lurker - Not In My Purview at September 16, 2019 05:43 PM (FiUMj)

318 I'd be willing to bet that paste eating ass hat hadn't ever SEEN a black person until he got to congress.

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at September 16, 2019 05:43 PM (Qf6sY)

319 He grew soggy in the rain."

Like the cake that was left out in the rain?

Posted by: Anon a mouse at September 16, 2019 05:43 PM (6qErC)

320 Didn't read all 300+ comments...

Has anyone asked what Life Guard Joe was doing with a chain?

Posted by: Horus Hearsay at September 16, 2019 05:43 PM (DB16e)

321 I have a quip about " two Wongs" but I just can't make it work...

Posted by: kraken at September 16, 2019 05:43 PM (90T4r)

322 I wonder if Joe Biden remembers meeting Raquel Welsh when she was dressed in those furry skins. Did he really save her from the dinosaurs?

Posted by: Jinx the Cat at September 16, 2019 05:43 PM (FTlwv)

323 The Ted Kennedy Aquatic Center and Car Wash.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at September 16, 2019 05:40 PM (jEgzt)

and U-boat training.
Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at September 16, 2019 05:41 PM (9Om/r)

When Ted Kennedy asked a girl to go with him to the beach to watch the submarine races he meant that literally.

Posted by: Pig to man dreaming of lions at September 16, 2019 05:43 PM (hN5g8)

324 Corn Pop and the Nutritious Breakfast Gang

Posted by: Insomniac at September 16, 2019 05:43 PM (NWiLs)

325

Joe Biden: Back in those days I was a real cool dude. I wore a leather jacket and rode a motorcycle. Any way Corn Pop starts messing with the Cunningham kid. Nice kid but real squaresville. Any way I tell Corn Pop to leave Richie alone or else and as I say or else I give him a look. Any way Corn Pop backs down and I hit the jukebox and it plays Richie's favorite song. True story

Posted by: TheQuietMan at September 16, 2019 05:43 PM (kw5n8)

326 If Cocoa Pebbles was a whore, does that mean Fruity Pebbles was a gay hustler?

Posted by: Guy Smiley at September 16, 2019 05:43 PM (u//oP)

327 > and U-boat training.

Olds Delta 88: poor choice for a field-expedient submarine.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at September 16, 2019 05:44 PM (IRd4p)

328 You see, back in those days, the guy on the Cream of Wheat box was white.

Posted by: Joe, going into detail at September 16, 2019 05:44 PM (QzkSJ)

329 I still don't think Slow Joe will survive to the convention, but now I hope he makes it. The campaign would be the most entertaining thing ever.

Posted by: Meade Lux Lewis at September 16, 2019 05:44 PM (hjaPQ)

330 Sometimes ladies call me the Billy Jack Of Delaware. Old Joe still hasn't lost his martial arts prowess or sexy behind lemme tell you. I think it's why Lizzy Warren sends me her lingerie from time to time. True story.

Posted by: Joke Bidet at September 16, 2019 05:44 PM (vBH2i)

331 I have a quip about " two Wongs" but I just can't make it work...
Posted by: kraken at September 16, 2019 05:43 PM (90T4r)

I saw Two Wongs open for Make A Right at the Texxas Jam in '86.

Posted by: Sponge at September 16, 2019 05:44 PM (Zz0t1)

332 wildly OT, but it just occurred to me...

the Iranians attacked a Saudi refinery/oil production facility.

and they only have one in their entire country.

the KSA should bomb the shit out of it.

that would F the mullahs right the F up, Bigly!

Posted by: redc1c4 at September 16, 2019 05:44 PM (MmMhO)

333 Wonder if Corn Pop and T-Bone ever met, Wilmington and Trenton aren't far from each other.

Posted by: Skip at September 16, 2019 05:44 PM (ZCEU2)

334 293 o that guy could have been called corn pop for reasons other than cereal no?
Posted by: Lurking Lurker - Not In My Purview at September 16, 2019 05:31 PM (FiUMj)

Dyslexic gang leader.
Posted by: Pig to man dreaming of lions at September 16, 2019 05:40 PM (hN5g

Porn Cop
Popcorn
Ron Copp
Prop Con

Posted by: joncelli, because somebody had to at September 16, 2019 05:44 PM (RD7QR)

335 Why would you even tell a story like that?

Is Biden that desperate to be liked? It's one tall tale after another.

My new nickname for Biden is Route 80. Because his lies are as long as that road.

Posted by: Marcus T, Gringo at September 16, 2019 05:44 PM (wxC/u)

336 You think that's some story? Well let me tell you about the time I was on the wrong side of the tracks at a seedy little club in 1972 Delaware. The gays were seen as subhuman then. Not even people.

In fact there I was sidled up to the bar talking to a gay, and he told me he'd never even seen a straight person before. I was the first one. Frosted Flake they called him.

He had these frosted ends on his hair. This is a true story.

And so I said to him... I said "Frosted? Can I call you Frosted?" and he told me I could call him whatever I wanted to call him. And I said "It's not like that, Frosted. I understand you find me irresistable and articulate with a high IQ and all that, but it's not like that." So he says "Well what's it like, then?"

Then the darndest thing happened. We both looked up at the HD TV they had hanging on the wall and there was Nixon resigning. Right there before our eyes. It was a Wednesday I remember it like yesterday. And as sure as you and me are right here, we looked at each other and hugged.

Then we had gay sex. Now listen, it was a one time thing. Not for me but I don't judge. And you shouldn't either.

But more importantly, although it wasn't exactly the Geneva Convention, it was nice to - there in prejudiced 1970s America - have the straights and gays getting along for once.

And also that night I finally learned why they really called him Frosted Flake.

It had nothing to do with cereal let me tell you that.

Posted by: Joe Biden at September 16, 2019 05:44 PM (uEbPt)

337 "My word as a Biden" is something a used car salesman would say back in 1962.

Posted by: mrp at September 16, 2019 05:45 PM (Pqytn)

338
Joe Biden: Back in those days I was a real cool dude. I wore a leather jacket and rode a motorcycle. Any way Corn Pop starts messing with the Cunningham kid. Nice kid but real squaresville. Any way I tell Corn Pop to leave Richie alone or else and as I say or else I give him a look. Any way Corn Pop backs down and I hit the jukebox and it plays Richie's favorite song. True story
Posted by: TheQuietMan at September 16, 2019 05:43 PM (kw5n

I contemplated changing my vote for thread winner after this one.....

Posted by: Sponge at September 16, 2019 05:45 PM (Zz0t1)

339 I saw Corn Pop open for Kernel Panic at the Salty Jam Music Festival in '99.
Posted by: ShainS -- Appeasement is a Blessing of Liberty! at September 16, 2019 05:42 PM (k4LPa)

I proudly served under Kernel Panic. It was the Tet offensive we were outnumbered 1000 to 1. Fortunately I was able to talk the VC into surrendering. True story as a Biden.
-Joe "Guns" Biden

Posted by: DR.WTF at September 16, 2019 05:45 PM (aS1PU)

340 Keep yo hans off my Trix.

Posted by: Ben Had at September 16, 2019 05:45 PM (cgIyZ)

341 It was two Italian guys greeting each other by kissing on the cheek
Posted by: JoeF. at September 16, 2019 05:41 PM (NFEMn)

After which one of them was found in the trunk of a Buick at the airport.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at September 16, 2019 05:45 PM (zmxYi)

342 I confess to actually tuning into Beck this morning on my way to a meeting, just to see how crazy he still is.

He actually had one of his sidekicks doing a bit as a seminar caller, and it was actually hilarious. Guy pretended to be a "real" Texan, or "Texan-ish," and was a fan of "those Dallas Cowboys." He claimed he'd met Beto and had totally changed his mind about guns. "I've got an AR15, an AR29, an AR9, and I drove to the local police station and threw them out the window. Some nice guy was kind enough to pick them up and carry them away. And now I'm really into abortion, too. Me and the wife have had 12 so far."

Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 16, 2019 05:46 PM (ptqGC)

343 Whose corn flake dis is?

Posted by: Guy Smiley at September 16, 2019 05:46 PM (u//oP)

344 Elvis taught Joe his kung fu moves.

Posted by: Archer at September 16, 2019 05:46 PM (gmo/4)

345 I remember that time Deebo kept stealing from everyone in the hood and then he hit Debbie and I had to knock him out. True story.

Posted by: QA at September 16, 2019 05:46 PM (hGnX8)

346 332 the KSA should bomb the shit out of it.


Probably pointless. I read somewhere that it's running at some tiny fraction of its capacity because of Trump's sanctions.

Posted by: Off the reservation at September 16, 2019 05:46 PM (vWMNq)

347 Now Trump, you may cut me, but you're gonna have this chain wrapped around your head. Now watch me do 30 push-ups!

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at September 16, 2019 05:46 PM (oZ6kz)

348 This is the dawning of the age of Corn Pop.

Posted by: Puddin Head at September 16, 2019 05:46 PM (YtZB9)

349 I'm surprised Biden didn't say they shared a "40" afterwards.

Posted by: Marcus T, Gringo at September 16, 2019 05:46 PM (wxC/u)

350 Nobody was more gangsta than Toucan Sam.

Posted by: Fritz at September 16, 2019 05:46 PM (2Mnv1)

351 It was a diff'rent day and time back then....1957 or 58.
If you was black and you was an astronaut, you were out of work.

--Joe Biden remembering his encounter with Loopy Louie Hayes from NASSA

Posted by: Jinx the Cat at September 16, 2019 05:46 PM (FTlwv)

352 Remember the surprise when SNL was going to hire a new comic who wasn't hard left? Shane Gillis? Well, it's been 4 days, he hasn't even done one show, he's already fired. For a joke he made a year ago. Suh-prise, Suh-prise, Suh-prise.

Posted by: Tom Servo at September 16, 2019 05:47 PM (Kpl3J)

353 Wasn't Corn Pop in a blaxploitation film?

Posted by: jennifer anniston's perky nipples at September 16, 2019 05:47 PM (6OoFY)

354 Has anyone asked what Life Guard Joe was doing with a chain?"

Well, there were chain gangs

Posted by: Anon a mouse at September 16, 2019 05:47 PM (6qErC)

355 "Biden that desperate to be liked? "

he is a politician.

Posted by: Boulder t'hobo at September 16, 2019 05:47 PM (uF/4L)

356 I always though Corn Pop was a reference to Lawrence Welk.

Posted by: Miklos, maybe mistaken at September 16, 2019 05:47 PM (QzkSJ)

357
I saw Corn Pop open for Kernel Panic at the Salty Jam Music Festival in '99.

Posted by: ShainS -- Appeasement is a Blessing of Liberty! at September 16, 2019 05:42 PM (k4LPa)

I saw them with Limp Bizkit and Bananarama on the Breakfast in America tour.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at September 16, 2019 05:47 PM (jYnPD)

358 Next story would be how Biden was as fierce as Genghis Khan.

Posted by: IC at September 16, 2019 05:47 PM (a0IVu)

359 345 I remember that time Deebo kept stealing from everyone in the hood and then he hit Debbie and I had to knock him out. True story.
Posted by: QA at September 16, 2019 05:46 PM (hGnX

You got knocked tha FUCK out, man!

Posted by: Insomniac at September 16, 2019 05:47 PM (NWiLs)

360 Trix better than Kix. It's diversified with all the pretty colors. More progressive.

Posted by: olddog in mo at September 16, 2019 05:48 PM (Dhht7)

361 It was a diff'rent day and time back then....1957 or 58.
If you was black and you was an astronaut, you were out of work.

--Joe Biden remembering his encounter with Loopy Louie Hayes from NASSA
Posted by: Jinx the Cat at September 16, 2019 05:46 PM (FTlwv)

That is the best documentary ever produced.

Posted by: hogmartin will be sad if you don't register for the fall MIMoMe at September 16, 2019 05:48 PM (t+qrx)

362 Corn Pop be hung like a kernel.

Posted by: Puddin Head at September 16, 2019 05:48 PM (YtZB9)

363 > I proudly served under Kernel Panic.

I can't forget to give credit to the rest of the team. General Disarray, Major Havoc, Corporal Punishment, and Private Parts.

A hell of a team, we were.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at September 16, 2019 05:48 PM (IRd4p)

364 336

He had these frosted ends on his hair. This is a true story.

Posted by: Joe Biden at September 16, 2019 05:44 PM (uEbPt)

The way you put that is hilarious.

Posted by: m at September 16, 2019 05:48 PM (hnjoD)

365 Joe Biden did not see two guys kissing in the 50's. Neither did his father. I shan't believe it. I simply shannot.

Posted by: Meade Lux Lewis at September 16, 2019 05:48 PM (hjaPQ)

366 Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censerSwung by Seraphim whose footfalls tread upon my diving board."Esther," I cried, "thy god hath lent thee--by the signals he hath sent theeRespite--respite and nepenthe from the memories of thy yore;Quaff, oh, quaff this kind nepenthe and depart my diving board!Quoth the Corn Pop, "Nevermore."

Posted by: Edgar Allen Joe at September 16, 2019 05:48 PM (sN9mD)

367 At my age, it's Super Colon Blow for breakfast.

Posted by: Guy Smiley at September 16, 2019 05:48 PM (u//oP)

368 I beat Corn Pop. I can beat Trump.

Posted by: Marcus T, Gringo at September 16, 2019 05:48 PM (wxC/u)

369 I'm surprised Biden didn't say they shared a "40" afterwards.
Posted by: Marcus T, Gringo at September 16, 2019 05:46 PM (wxC/u)

Rocket Fuel. Dammmmn !!

Posted by: Pig to man dreaming of lions at September 16, 2019 05:48 PM (hN5g8)

370 Mr. Trump, I worked with Corn Pop, I had a switchblade fight with Corn Pop, I called Corn Pop Esther Williams, and you sir, you are no Corn Pop.

Posted by: Broseidon - New Work Computer, Same Work Ethic at September 16, 2019 05:48 PM (oZ6kz)

371 The Ted Kennedy Aquatic Center and Car Wash.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at September 16, 2019 05:40 PM


Pool has no deep end. Wading pool only.

Posted by: Hands at September 16, 2019 05:49 PM (786Ro)

372 ...

Posted by: tbodie at September 16, 2019 05:49 PM (vz4z/)

373 > Next story would be how Biden was as fierce as Genghis Khan.

Nope, I've already got dibs on Jen-jiss Khan.

Posted by: John Heinz-Kerry at September 16, 2019 05:49 PM (IRd4p)

374 About that chain- Joe was doing his interpretive dance routine to Chain of Fools.

Posted by: Ben Had at September 16, 2019 05:50 PM (cgIyZ)

375 343 Whose corn flake dis is?

Posted by: Guy Smiley at September 16, 2019 05:46 PM (u//oP)

Y'all are really killing it, here.

Posted by: m at September 16, 2019 05:50 PM (hnjoD)

376 Call me Ishmael, he told me...

/

Posted by: Anon a mouse at September 16, 2019 05:50 PM (6qErC)

377 Walter Mitty runs for President.

Posted by: Additional Blond Agent, STEM guy at September 16, 2019 05:50 PM (7s3Gx)

378 Pool has no deep end. Wading pool only.

Posted by: Hands at September 16, 2019 05:49 PM (786Ro)

=======================
Car pool.

Posted by: mrp at September 16, 2019 05:50 PM (Pqytn)

379 Dance like a Corn Pop, sting like a camel.

Or is that a bee?

Aw, what the hell state are we in anyway?

Posted by: Marcus T, Gringo at September 16, 2019 05:50 PM (wxC/u)

380 To me if it was Sugar Smacks I might believe it

Posted by: Skip at September 16, 2019 05:50 PM (ZCEU2)

381 I always though Corn Pop was a reference to Lawrence Welk.

Posted by: Miklos, maybe mistaken at September 16, 2019 05:47 PM


Yacht Rock > Corn Pop ?

Posted by: Hands at September 16, 2019 05:51 PM (786Ro)

382 > Pool has no deep end.

Sorta like Joe's gene pool.

Posted by: Rodrigo Borgia at September 16, 2019 05:51 PM (IRd4p)

383 Pray for his nomination, Horde... pray hard... who would be the perfect running mate???

Posted by: kraken at September 16, 2019 05:51 PM (90T4r)

384 Just an aside.

Corn Nuts are the the most stinky snack out there if you're not the one eating them.

Posted by: Pig to man dreaming of lions at September 16, 2019 05:51 PM (hN5g8)

385 chain gang ... not a bad song ... Biden said he sang bass for that song.


youtube.com/watch?v=zBn5aIfZElE

Posted by: illiniwek at September 16, 2019 05:51 PM (Cus5s)

386 Kids back then used to say "fuckin' A" all the time. Well, the colored kids didn't say it. I never really knew what that meant anyway.

Posted by: Joe "The Real Fonz" Biden at September 16, 2019 05:52 PM (hjaPQ)

387 And that little corn pop was
me!

Posted by: Senator Kamala Corn POP Harris at September 16, 2019 05:52 PM (19Oib)

388 Sugar Crisp (Bear) > Sugar Smacks (Frog)

Posted by: olddog in mo at September 16, 2019 05:52 PM (Dhht7)

389 "I used to teach poor black kids how to read back in Delaware. Did you know black kids could be taught to read? Yeah, I was the first one to ever do it. Should have won a Nobel for it back in 1969, but Woody Allen won it that year for Bananas. True Story."

Posted by: Frankovich's Monster at September 16, 2019 05:52 PM (hdzef)

390 Next Debate, Gropin' Joe needs to enter the stage to Black Sabbath, Swinging the Chain.

Posted by: Pug Mahon, With a Broken Brain at September 16, 2019 05:52 PM (xPJvm)

391 Corn Nuts are the the most stinky snack out there"

Maize Nuts

Posted by: Anon a mouse at September 16, 2019 05:52 PM (6qErC)

392 There was this one dude, Rice Krispie. Asian guy, had a mean gang of midgets...

Posted by: goodluckduck at September 16, 2019 05:52 PM (rwaEp)

393 384 Just an aside.

Corn Nuts are the the most stinky snack out there if you're not the one eating them.

Posted by: Pig to man dreaming of lions at September 16, 2019 05:51 PM (hN5g


If you wanna ruin your teeth, Corn Nuts is the snack for you...

Posted by: kraken at September 16, 2019 05:52 PM (90T4r)

394 I still don't think Slow Joe will survive to the
convention, but now I hope he makes it. The campaign would be the most
entertaining thing ever.

Posted by: Meade Lux Lewis at September 16, 2019 05:44 PM (hjaPQ)


Especially when trump assigns him a small closet space in the white house, along with a propeller beanie, a cardboard desk with the word president scribbled on it in crayon, a presidential seal made from a pie tin, and a sign for the door that reads "don't feed the retard".

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at September 16, 2019 05:52 PM (9Om/r)

395


Joe Biden: Back in those days I tried to stop a gang war. The Sharks vs. The Jets. They were bad dudes and had some choreography that you just did not want to mess with. Any way I ended up with this little senorita named Maria. You know what I'm talking about? Any way I stood up to both gangs with just some sheet music in my hand and they liked the score so much they backed down. True story

Posted by: TheQuietMan at September 16, 2019 05:53 PM (kw5n8)

396 When Biden was in high school.He had a dog that was wild....but he trained her to be a champion show dog.....Ya....Black Lassie.

Posted by: Doggfish at September 16, 2019 05:53 PM (rIuKr)

397 387 And that little corn pop was
me!
Posted by: Senator Kamala Corn POP Harris at September 16, 2019 05:52 PM (19Oib)

Farina, that you??

Posted by: kraken at September 16, 2019 05:53 PM (90T4r)

398 "Afterwards we shared a Colt 45 and sang Jimi Hendrix songs while playing air guitar. "

I mean, c'mon Joe. Make it believable.

Posted by: Marcus T, Gringo at September 16, 2019 05:53 PM (wxC/u)

399 Pray for his nomination, Horde... pray hard... who would be the perfect running mate???
Posted by: kraken


Who would be perfect, or who will it be?

Perfect? No idea.
Worst case? Tank Abrams.

Posted by: rickb223 at September 16, 2019 05:54 PM (AKYZm)

400 383 Pray for his nomination, Horde... pray hard... who would be the perfect running mate???
Posted by: kraken at September 16, 2019 05:51 PM (90T4r)

Tank Abrams...Joe could regale us about how they bonded over Aretha Franklin songs and then try to sniff her hair, at which point she pulls out a straight razor and tries to castrate him...hilarity ensues.

Posted by: joncelli, because somebody had to at September 16, 2019 05:54 PM (RD7QR)

401 I stared down George until he saw the genius of my plan. Cross the Delaware at night on Christmas eve...true story, my word as a Biden.

-Joe Bidet

Posted by: Archer at September 16, 2019 05:54 PM (gmo/4)

402 and suddenly the menacing gang started to sway their hips and snap their fingers and do jazz hands. corn pop started singing "I feel pretty, so pretty...."

Posted by: piratepatch at September 16, 2019 05:54 PM (taXNc)

403 Stymie > Farina > Buckwheat.

Fight me.

Posted by: Guy Smiley at September 16, 2019 05:54 PM (u//oP)

404 By this time next year Biden is going to be regaling audiences with his tales of being second in command to Colonel George Washington during the French and Indian Wars.

Posted by: Anonymous 7 at September 16, 2019 05:54 PM (mQBQH)

405 After work, I used to go unwind at this place called the Honeycomb Hideout. A lot of cute girls there. Just the age I like them. Only problem was some guy named Epstein always poached them from me.

Posted by: Joe Biden at September 16, 2019 05:54 PM (IRd4p)

406 Did anyone ask Neil McKinnon if this happened for realz?

Posted by: Just Lily at September 16, 2019 05:55 PM (+qBkz)

407 Semolina >Stymie > Farina > Buckwheat

Posted by: Anon a mouse at September 16, 2019 05:55 PM (6qErC)

408 Hes got like three different movies mixed into one story.

Mr. Tibbs

West Side Story

And

Honey I Shrunk My Nutz

Posted by: Senator Kamala Corn POP Harris at September 16, 2019 05:55 PM (19Oib)

409 Another interest group for the Democrats

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-7462229

Professor Spikins said: On the one hand Neanderthals are healthy because they are walking around a lot.But
there is a very high injury rate and there are a lot of famines, so
almost every skeleton has got signs of a serious injury or illness just
because of the lifestyles they are living.They're not suffering from the sedentary lifestyles that we are but they are dealing with a difficult life as well.

Posted by: Off the reservation at September 16, 2019 05:55 PM (vWMNq)

410 He's not Joe Biden. He's fucking Forest Gump.

Posted by: Marcus T, Gringo at September 16, 2019 05:55 PM (wxC/u)

411 Still a pack of lies.

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at September 16, 2019 05:55 PM (8fHBx)

412 406 Did anyone ask Neil McKinnon if this happened for realz?

No, they didn't ask Neil Kinnock, either.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at September 16, 2019 05:56 PM (oVJmc)

413 The worst part of listening to these kind of rambling stories from Biden or some drunk in a bar is they waste five minutes of your life and they have absolutely no point.

Posted by: lowandslow at September 16, 2019 05:56 PM (Mr80f)

414
I was the one who killed Malcolm X. True story. He went soft. Wasn't keepin' it real. Nothin' makes me madder than when a man forgots his blackness. My word as a Biden.

Posted by: Joe "Cracker Jack" Biden at September 16, 2019 05:56 PM (AzW6q)

415 Worst case? Tank Abrams.
Posted by: rickb223 at September 16, 2019 05:54 PM (AKYZm)


Tank Abrams...Joe could regale us about how they bonded over Aretha Franklin songs and then try to sniff her hair, at which point she pulls out a straight razor and tries to castrate him...hilarity ensues.
Posted by: joncelli


Horde mind atwerk.

Posted by: rickb223 at September 16, 2019 05:56 PM (AKYZm)

416 Kamala: and that little Pop Tart was me!

Posted by: Ever at September 16, 2019 05:56 PM (ZZDMQ)

417 "And Corn Pop was a bad dude."

And Aubrey was her name.

Posted by: m at September 16, 2019 05:56 PM (hnjoD)

418 He's fucking Forest Gump."

Jenny?

Posted by: Anon a mouse at September 16, 2019 05:56 PM (6qErC)

419
He's not Joe Biden. He's fucking Forest Gump.

Posted by: Marcus T, Gringo at September 16, 2019 05:55 PM (wxC/u)

In the end, that's really the truth of it.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at September 16, 2019 05:56 PM (9Om/r)

420 Corn Pop Quiz:

WTF is wrong with Biden?

A) dementia
B) Alzheimer's
C) blank pages
D) synapses not firing
E) all of the above

Posted by: JuJuBee at September 16, 2019 05:56 PM (5itaF)

421 The worst part of listening to these kind of
rambling stories from Biden or some drunk in a bar is they waste five
minutes of your life and they have absolutely no point.


Posted by: lowandslow at September 16, 2019 05:56 PM (Mr80f)

==================
Woof!

Posted by: The Shaggy Dog at September 16, 2019 05:57 PM (Pqytn)

422 I think I'm in love with this Carrie Ann

Posted by: Josephistan at September 16, 2019 05:57 PM (Izzlo)

423 Semolina >Stymie > Farina > Buckwheat
Posted by: Anon a mouse


Grits was a bad mother....

Posted by: rickb223 at September 16, 2019 05:57 PM (AKYZm)

424 I promise not to do that thing in your mouth. My word as a Biden.

Posted by: GnuBreed at September 16, 2019 05:57 PM (Z4rgH)

425 He's not Joe Biden. He's fucking Forest Gump.

That explains why he's running.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy - #PurgeProgressivism at September 16, 2019 05:57 PM (HaL55)

426 Joe Biden has been lying since he crawled out the crib.....

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at September 16, 2019 05:57 PM (Z+IKu)

427 420
Corn Pop Quiz:


E

Posted by: Off the reservation at September 16, 2019 05:58 PM (vWMNq)

428 That explains why he's running.

*snort

Posted by: Jewells45 at September 16, 2019 05:58 PM (dUJdY)

429 He's fucking Forest Gump."

Or Matt Damon ?

Posted by: Anon a mouse at September 16, 2019 05:58 PM (6qErC)

430 Good Lord there wasn't a coherent thought in that rant. I am sure that more than little black children were not interested.

Posted by: Cheri at September 16, 2019 05:58 PM (oiNtH)

431
WTF is wrong with Biden?

A) dementia
B) Alzheimer's
C) blank pages
D) synapses not firing
E) all of the above

F) Joe being Joe

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at September 16, 2019 05:58 PM (oVJmc)

432 Joe picks Hunter as his running mate.

Just tossin' out ideas.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 16, 2019 05:58 PM (ptqGC)

433
Joe picks Hunter as his running mate.

Just tossin' out ideas.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 16, 2019 05:58 PM (ptqGC)

---------

Nah, first Dr. Jill, then Hunter.

Hunter won't get involved until he has a relative to cuck.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at September 16, 2019 05:59 PM (AzW6q)

434 That Corn Pop is a bad mother f....

Hush your mouth

Just talking about Corn Pop.

Posted by: Shaft at September 16, 2019 05:59 PM (ZLI7S)

435 429 Or Matt Damon ?


Back asswards. SS would do Biden, I think.

Posted by: Off the reservation at September 16, 2019 06:00 PM (vWMNq)

436 And everybody clapped.

This sounds like a scene from a Norman Lear sitcom from the 1970s. Everybody clapped then too. I wouldn't be surprised if you found a similar scene from one of those shows.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at September 16, 2019 06:00 PM (j3npP)

437 He's not Joe Biden. He's fucking Forest Gump.

That explains why he's running.

Posted by: BackwardsBoy - #PurgeProgressivism at September 16, 2019 05:57

-------

Heh.

Posted by: olddog in mo at September 16, 2019 06:00 PM (Dhht7)

438 I misspoke.

I meant to say "Porn Cop."

*tweet*

No running!

*tweet*

No coal!

Posted by: Joe Biden at September 16, 2019 06:00 PM (gAXBD)

439 Corn Pop and T Bone walk into a bar...

Posted by: Senator Kamala Corn POP Harris at September 16, 2019 06:00 PM (19Oib)

440 Some call him Corn Pop, I call him daddy.

Posted by: Shaun King at September 16, 2019 06:00 PM (4e+hS)

441 So Biden had a run in with some black people in Wilmington? Big deal! Back then I was the blackest person in all of Vermont!

Posted by: Bernie Grape Nutz Sanders at September 16, 2019 06:00 PM (Izzlo)

442 why do I get the sense that the story is basically true but happened to someone else?

Posted by: mallfly the Georgie Peach at September 16, 2019 06:00 PM (ZqRa6)

443 Corn Pop sounds butt rapey.

Posted by: jennifer anniston's perky nipples at September 16, 2019 06:01 PM (6OoFY)

444 Corn Pop and T Bone walk into a bar.."

You think they would've seen it

Posted by: Anon a mouse at September 16, 2019 06:01 PM (6qErC)

445 Breaking Newsweek story-

Trump stole some pancakes and forgot a relative was dead...cousin says-

https://tinyurl.com/y3who7vj

Posted by: redridinghood at September 16, 2019 06:01 PM (wiXsO)

446 442 why do I get the sense that the story is basically true but happened to someone else?
Posted by: mallfly the Georgie Peach at September 16, 2019 06:00 PM (ZqRa6)

Because Joe is a cereal liar?

Posted by: joncelli, because somebody had to at September 16, 2019 06:01 PM (RD7QR)

447 Joe Biden: Don't you just hate it when walking the dog, a cat jumps on the treadmill and the dog chases it and now your caught on the tread mill and you scream for your wife Jane, to stop this crazy thing? Don't you just hate that?

Posted by: Archer at September 16, 2019 06:01 PM (gmo/4)

448 425 He's not Joe Biden. He's fucking Forest Gump.

That explains why he's running."

I hate fucking Forest Gump.

Posted by: Forest Gump's Skanky Girlfriend at September 16, 2019 06:02 PM (Kpl3J)

449 Joe is suffering from neural democratum botulism. It's when you did so much botox that it fucked up your brain that was already rotted from being a democrat and a liar.

Posted by: madamemayhem (uppity wench) at September 16, 2019 06:02 PM (myjNJ)

450 Biden 2020 has to be a M$/week operation. If there was any truth to any of his stories there'd be witnesses on the trail.

Posted by: DaveA at September 16, 2019 06:02 PM (FhXTo)

451 Corn Pop Quiz:

WTF is wrong with Biden?

A) dementia
B) Alzheimer's
C) blank pages
D) synapses not firing
E) all of the above

Posted by: JuJuBee at September 16, 2019 05:56 PM (5itaF)
.........

*static*

Posted by: the steel plate in Joe's head at September 16, 2019 06:02 PM (v0R5T)

452 432 Joe picks Hunter as his running mate.

Just tossin' out ideas.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at September 16, 2019 05:58 PM (ptqGC)

Which means The Donald is then free to go with Donald Jr.

Epicness!

Posted by: Just Lily at September 16, 2019 06:02 PM (+qBkz)

453 Joe likes to swim naked. Think he did that as a lifeguard too?

Posted by: Archer at September 16, 2019 06:03 PM (gmo/4)

454

Keep in mind: this old senile jerkoff would be president today
if he ran in 2016.

Posted by: Soothie at September 16, 2019 06:03 PM (KL8os)

455 Then as your flying into Afghanistan you get shot at and next thing you know you and Chelsea are serpentining on the tarmac in Bosnia.

You lose your hat on the Mekong Delta so your stuck with only your Yankees hat cuz the Cubs suck anyways.

Posted by: Senator Kamala Corn POP Harris at September 16, 2019 06:03 PM (19Oib)

456 Joe likes to swim naked. Think he did that as a lifeguard too?
Posted by: Archer

That's how he got the nickname

Nubbin

Posted by: Bruce at September 16, 2019 06:04 PM (vd8XM)

457 Forest Gump's Skanky Girlfriend"

Scroll up.

Jenny

Posted by: Anon a mouse at September 16, 2019 06:04 PM (6qErC)

458 446 Joe is a cereal liar
Posted by: joncelli, because somebody had to at September 16, 2019 06:01 PM (RD7QR)

hahahahaha!

Posted by: m at September 16, 2019 06:04 PM (hnjoD)

459 Poon Hunter Biden is not going any nearer the White House than I am.

Posted by: boulder t'hobo, free Farmer! at September 16, 2019 06:04 PM (ykYG2)

460 Seminal act that led to all the race relation problems.

Posted by: socalcon at September 16, 2019 06:04 PM (Roy2Z)

461 I'll kick Corn Pop's ass.

Posted by: Corn Pone at September 16, 2019 06:04 PM (v0R5T)

462 Some people call him Rufus. I call him Corn Pop.

arrrrr

Posted by: Karl Childers at September 16, 2019 06:05 PM (ZLI7S)

463 Moral of the story

No one had sex with that woman till the blue dress got not sent to the laundry.

Posted by: Senator Kamala Corn POP Harris at September 16, 2019 06:05 PM (19Oib)

464 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0eL3o1w5uRA

Posted by: MarkY at September 16, 2019 06:05 PM (eMZAQ)

465 Some people call him Rufus. I call him Corn Pop."

As long as no one calls him maurice

Posted by: Anon a mouse at September 16, 2019 06:05 PM (6qErC)

466 What a retard.

Posted by: Weasel at September 16, 2019 06:06 PM (MVjcR)

467 Joe worked with a black girl at the pool. Her name was Honey Comb.

Posted by: There at September 16, 2019 06:06 PM (fOqG5)

468 And we all need street names. I'm Little G Money.

Posted by: Weasel at September 16, 2019 06:06 PM (MVjcR)

469 Biden wants to get his black street cred right up there to Talcum X levels.

Posted by: Wonkish Rogue at September 16, 2019 06:06 PM (BRpqW)

470 457 Forest Gump's Skanky Girlfriend"

Scroll up.

Jenny
Posted by: Anon a mouse at September 16, 2019 06:04 PM (6qErC)

Jenny, I got your number! 867-5309

Posted by: Tom Servo at September 16, 2019 06:07 PM (Kpl3J)

471 I suppose I'm English Hob'.

Posted by: boulder t'hobo, free Farmer! at September 16, 2019 06:07 PM (ykYG2)

472 465 Some people call him Rufus. I call him Corn Pop."

As long as no one calls him maurice
Posted by: Anon a mouse at September 16, 2019 06:05 PM (6qErC)

I don't think pompatus is acceptable on cereal.

Posted by: joncelli, because somebody had to at September 16, 2019 06:07 PM (RD7QR)

473
No, they didn't ask Neil Kinnock, either.
Posted by: Mr. Peebles at September 16, 2019 05:56 PM (oVJmc)

Autocucumber strikes again!

Posted by: Just Lily at September 16, 2019 06:07 PM (+qBkz)

474 HOOOOD OMar

Posted by: Deep State is in Deep Shit at September 16, 2019 06:07 PM (BqBId)

475 Nood

Posted by: Josephistan at September 16, 2019 06:08 PM (Izzlo)

476 Newsweek@Newsweek
Donald Trump stole pancakes and forgot a relative was dead while visiting family, cousin claims

-
Damn few things are more flat lowdown than a pancake thief.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at September 16, 2019 06:09 PM (+y/Ru)

477 468 And we all need street names.
~~~
I dropped mine after moving...it was 'Dumb Fvck'.

Posted by: socalcon at September 16, 2019 06:09 PM (Roy2Z)

478 There he was.

Crazy Joe was surrounded at the Delaware Public Pool facing the world's worst villains.

One was cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. Clearly he was a tweaker.

Then there was the Leprechaun. A possible IRA associate, he dealt in moons and stars. A possible devil worshiper.

Then there was the Captain. He called himself a captain, but he only had three stripes on his sleeve. Because he had only four fingers on each hand, he was suspected of being a bomb builder.

Lastly, there was the Tiger. His name was Tony and we suspect he was cosa nostra. This was the guy who Biden hates to this day because he thinks Make American GRRRRREAT Again! is a taunt from his formative years.

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at September 16, 2019 06:10 PM (gAXBD)

479 WTF is wrong with Biden?



A) dementia

B) Alzheimer's

C) blank pages

D) synapses not firing

E) all of the above



Posted by: JuJuBee at September 16, 2019 05:56 PM (5itaF)

.........



*static*

Posted by: the steel plate in Joe's head at September 16, 2019 06:02 PM (v0R5T)


He's ALWAYS been this way, but no one paid any attention before.

Posted by: dagny at September 16, 2019 06:10 PM (nRWPy)

480 BREAKING... According to his autobiography, while in the RAF in 1958, Neil Kinnock got in a gang fight at the Belfast Community Pool with a gang of hooligans led by "Lucky", the Irish Leprechaun. Critics accuse Biden of sugar-coating his story... Developing...

Posted by: Manufactured News Network: "Making News Magically Delicious Since Kelloggs Went Commie!" at September 16, 2019 06:10 PM (Ndje9)

481 Didn't Joe win the Nathan's hot dog eating contest the same year?

Posted by: Asscheeks of Saturn at September 16, 2019 06:10 PM (Jj+59)

482 It's fun to laugh at Biden's stupid lies, but it's also important to remember Biden's lies have ruined people.

The truck driver who hit Biden's wife and kid, killing them was a victim of Biden's lies. He went to the grave trying to fight the lie that he was drunk at the time. Even the police got involved in trying to clear this one up, issuing a public statement the truck driver was stone cold sober at the time.

Can you imagine being in a very unfortunate accident, that was almost certainly the other driver's fault, killing a woman and child, only to spend the rest of your life being falsely accused of being drunk at the time? Further, the person spreading the lie is a politician on the national stage?

Posted by: bonhomme at September 16, 2019 06:10 PM (9t0Zz)

483 Nood Ilhan Omar

:-)

Posted by: Off the reservation at September 16, 2019 06:11 PM (vWMNq)

484 Warren/ Buttplug will be the ticket. Why Biden is still around baffles me.

Posted by: Jamaica, Queens at September 16, 2019 06:11 PM (8loGC)

485 Wasn't there a film with that Private Ryan guy who played halfback for Bear Bryant? I think Biden was the QB.

Posted by: Asscheeks of Saturn at September 16, 2019 06:12 PM (Jj+59)

486 If Biden were elected POTUS, I am sure the following G7 summits would be a hoot as Biden regales them with these stories.

Posted by: Cheri at September 16, 2019 06:16 PM (oiNtH)

487
*sings*

Gone are the days
When I drove Corn Pop away
Gone is my brain
Strokes turned it into clay
Gone are my teeth
And my dentures try to go
I hear those gentle voices callin'
Senile Joe

I'm a sniffing', I'm a sniffin'
Some young girl's hair I know
I grope her even as they're callin'
Senile Joe

Posted by: Joe Biden at September 16, 2019 06:16 PM (n8Jib)

488 Joe Biden is just fucking weird.

Posted by: eleven at September 16, 2019 06:23 PM (tH5fk)

489 After Joe courageous display, Corn Pop accepted him and called him Cracker Jack.

Posted by: There at September 16, 2019 06:24 PM (fOqG5)

490 464 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0eL3o1w5uRA
Posted by: MarkY at September 16, 2019 06:05 PM (eMZAQ)

Ralphie May.
Nice.

Posted by: m at September 16, 2019 06:27 PM (hnjoD)

491 Used to be this tuff that hung out onna street corner in my 'hood, name'ah Rye Toast. One day passin' I musta' looked a him wrong because he liked tah put me in a JAM.
I was kinda' street smart, cept for that lookin' at RT wrong, so I buttered him up some and he let it slide afta I toll him he was the most righteous slice of a dood I evah done seed.

Posted by: White Bread at September 16, 2019 06:31 PM (pSotA)

492 He ran a bunch of bad boys, I'll tell you.
Or maybe he was just thinking of Kill Bill.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nXYfapQbqo4

Posted by: Onlooker at September 16, 2019 06:40 PM (5rmY3)

493 Conflated the pool incident with the opening dialog of Adam-12 where the dispatcher reports a gang fight with chains and knives.

Joe needs to check into the retirement home.

Posted by: Headless Body of Agnew at September 16, 2019 07:31 PM (LGo6U)

494 Pom Aid was for English immigrants in OZ.


He's not heavy he's my brother.Can you rescue him from the deep end Joe,under the AfroShine slick.

Hey Carrie Ann what's your name now?

Posted by: saf at September 16, 2019 07:43 PM (5IHGB)

495 Joe has a gang name
Honey comb over

Posted by: Priapism at September 16, 2019 08:04 PM (ucNdt)

496 You always bring a chain to a straight razor fight.

Posted by: Joe Biden at September 16, 2019 10:25 PM (2Ia/C)

497 Uncle Joe gonna put you back in chains boy.

Posted by: I am not corey Booker at September 17, 2019 12:36 AM (nRj4F)

498 Bad azz Corn had a kid with him called Jiffy Pop.

Posted by: Yankee Doodler at September 18, 2019 03:17 AM (2Maxq)

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