Registered Sex Offender Arrested for Trying To "Lure" Women

Lure them? To their doom?

Registered sex offender arrested for trying to lure women https://t.co/yuRcLgL4pP pic.twitter.com/CIkIZ6UKTX
— Eyewitness News (@ABC7NY) January 14, 2019

Guy seems to have a strong defense: Your honor, look at me. I'm a fucking Orc. How the fuck I'm gonna lure a human?

Posted by: Ace of Spades at 06:02 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 1

Posted by: Ha at January 16, 2019 06:03 PM (zV5mD)

2 Good lord.

Posted by: Jordan61 at January 16, 2019 06:04 PM (QBy2Q)

3 DNC delegate.

Posted by: Ha at January 16, 2019 06:04 PM (zV5mD)

4 I dunno about lures but that one guy looks like he fell in the tacklebox.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 16, 2019 06:05 PM (39g3+)

5 Looks like cross between human and the Magog from "Andromeda".

Posted by: Hands at January 16, 2019 06:05 PM (786Ro)

6 There's hope for me yet.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at January 16, 2019 06:05 PM (aKsyK)

7 I have NO Comment

Posted by: Ben Had at January 16, 2019 06:05 PM (MzJ8y)

8 Eyewitness News
@ABC7NY

NY? So, not a Florida Man?

Posted by: Hands at January 16, 2019 06:06 PM (786Ro)

9 He's doing it wrong.

Posted by: Lily, formerly of Hot Air now of AoSHQ, Assassin in the Night, not an NPC at January 16, 2019 06:06 PM (vbe3j)

10

How does he have two big forehead bumps on one picture but not the other?

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at January 16, 2019 06:06 PM (aKsyK)

11 I guarantee you that he probably pulls more tail than a lot of single guys on this board.

Posted by: Colorado Alex In Exile at January 16, 2019 06:06 PM (wCmLp)

12 Ben I do not want to Comment. I feel gross now.

Posted by: Picric at January 16, 2019 06:07 PM (M9QmI)

13 I guess maybe they mean online? And by "woman" they mean "child" because... I mean trying to pick up chicks isn't illegal even if you're a registered sex offender. That headline seems incomplete somehow

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 16, 2019 06:07 PM (39g3+)

14 I guarantee you that he probably pulls more tail than a lot of single guys on this board.

Well yeah I don't club them over the head with a morningstar and drag them off by the hair.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 16, 2019 06:07 PM (39g3+)

15 He was set up, bitch had a magnet.

Posted by: mugiwara at January 16, 2019 06:08 PM (B623R)

16 Bertram, multiple arrests and addahorntome prosthesis.

Posted by: Ben Had at January 16, 2019 06:08 PM (MzJ8y)

17 He had a fishing pole with a Twenty-note on the end of his line?

Posted by: e cellar at January 16, 2019 06:08 PM (n0W4B)

18 Dis guy has issues.

Posted by: Count de Monet at January 16, 2019 06:08 PM (QLvwG)

19 I gotta be honest, I don't chase "tail" but if I did, it wouldn't be the kinda girl who'd want to sex up this mutant.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 16, 2019 06:09 PM (39g3+)

20 Hahahaha.

Posted by: Bosk at January 16, 2019 06:09 PM (9m9TT)

21 ummm..wut?

Posted by: IC at January 16, 2019 06:09 PM (a0IVu)

22 In many ways, isn't this the story of Obama?

Posted by: Dr. T at January 16, 2019 06:09 PM (2PXwn)

23 I guarantee you this guy voted for Hillary and uses a Gillette.

Posted by: Froderick Wonkensteen at January 16, 2019 06:09 PM (+dsLj)

24 Trying... but was he successful?

Posted by: redridinghood at January 16, 2019 06:09 PM (hECVl)

25 #orcprivilege

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at January 16, 2019 06:09 PM (bcbK8)

26 He had a fishing pole with a Twenty-note on the end of his line?

Posted by: e cellar at January 16, 2019 06:08 PM (n0W4B)

Gold AMEX.

Posted by: Count de Monet at January 16, 2019 06:09 PM (QLvwG)

27 Reminds me: I feel sorry for the CBD punk chimp.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at January 16, 2019 06:10 PM (bcbK8)

28 In fairness, looks like he dove face first into a tackle box full of lures.

Posted by: Joe Mama at January 16, 2019 06:10 PM (OkKDg)

29 Metal Shrek lives!

Posted by: Count de Monet at January 16, 2019 06:10 PM (QLvwG)

30 I think they are assuming its gender.

And species.

Posted by: Lily, formerly of Hot Air now of AoSHQ, Assassin in the Night, not an NPC at January 16, 2019 06:10 PM (vbe3j)

31 the hornlets are a nice touch, well placed, not too subtle but noticeable...probably transgendered

Posted by: DanMan at January 16, 2019 06:10 PM (XTiHL)

32 He probably wonders why he can never get past the initial in person job interview.

He is the anti Palo (sp?)

Posted by: Archer at January 16, 2019 06:10 PM (gmo/4)

33 It's in California. He'd put on a fake lady voice and call up women to come be a babysitter. His plan was trap them and do pervy stuff. It apparently never worked, but one target was a minor, so he got arrested.

Posted by: wooga at January 16, 2019 06:10 PM (ajnya)

34 He's so dreamy!

Posted by: Gollum currently gender transitioning to Gallum at January 16, 2019 06:10 PM (+dsLj)

35 Hellboy's cousin

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at January 16, 2019 06:10 PM (aKsyK)

36 Nope, no mental or emotional issues at all. Fine, upstanding citizen, just needs to register and vote Democrat.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - Get Your Globalist Griefs - Two for One - at The Outrage Outlet! at January 16, 2019 06:10 PM (0QYMt)

37 "Guy seems to have a strong defense: Your honor, look at me. I'm a fucking Orc. How the fuck I'm gonna lure a human?"

Jeebus, Ace, I laughed, then looked at the picture. You were not joking.

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at January 16, 2019 06:10 PM (5fNnO)

38 Deputies served a search warrant and arrested him at his home, where evidence was recovered.

I have never read a more vague story.

He also solicited women through babysitting, cleaning, taxi, real estate and delivery services, authorities said.

He solicited by cleaning real estate taxis?

"Your Honor, he looks fucking weird. Just look at him!"

Posted by: Bandersnatch at January 16, 2019 06:10 PM (fuK7c)

39 Related to that fucking chimp?

Posted by: USNtakim profoundly deplorable. at January 16, 2019 06:11 PM (0OmEj)

40 I'm picturing one of those box and string traps with a lululemon gift card underneath.

Posted by: Insomniac at January 16, 2019 06:11 PM (NWiLs)

41 Saying he is a Orc is not far from the truth

Posted by: Skip at January 16, 2019 06:11 PM (/rm4P)

42 There are times, when you can just *see* the crazy.

Posted by: Captain Obvious at January 16, 2019 06:11 PM (Hx3Yn)

43 When his genital piercings become entangled with her genital piercings, a cutting torch will be required.

Posted by: Count de Monet at January 16, 2019 06:11 PM (QLvwG)

44 Has anyone checked with the CommieProgTards about this?

I mean, he's white, which means he can go to jail.

However, he's a freak, which means that he's a protected member of society.

My guess on their take is "he's a victim of discrimination who has been cruelly rejected by women, so they deserve to be raped, especially if they're white Christians."

Posted by: shibumi at January 16, 2019 06:11 PM (OXL6p)

45 Probability of a studded penis: 95%

Posted by: e cellar at January 16, 2019 06:11 PM (n0W4B)

46 Like an anglerfish?

Posted by: hogmartin at January 16, 2019 06:12 PM (t+qrx)

47 It apparently never worked, but one target was a minor, so he got arrested.

"Dude, what do you want, for some reason women seem to be terrified of me, I can't figure it out! How else am I gonna get laid??"
--Orc

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 16, 2019 06:12 PM (39g3+)

48 I KNOW HIM, GOOD FUUFE

Posted by: BASED HERK at January 16, 2019 06:12 PM (DGYNn)

49 He's a babe magnet. If by magnet, you mean all that metal on his face.

Great. Last night I woke up from a horrible nightmare.

And now this idiot.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at January 16, 2019 06:12 PM (ptqGC)

50 "I feel sorry for the CBD punk chimp."
Punk chimp has style. This guy has a weird bumpy fat head.

Posted by: AMartel at January 16, 2019 06:12 PM (WWgnZ)

51 Once again, DEVO is proved correct.

Or was it the Ramones?

"There's no stoppin' the cretins from hoppin'
You gotta keep it beatin'
For all the hoppin' cretins
Cretin! Cretin!"......

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at January 16, 2019 06:12 PM (Z+IKu)

52 43 When his genital piercings become entangled with her genital piercings, a cutting torch will be required.
Posted by: Count de Monet at January 16, 2019 06:11 PM (QLvwG)

I know people this has happened to.

And a bad piercing cunnilingus SNAFU story.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at January 16, 2019 06:12 PM (bcbK8)

53 He would be an easy ID in a police lineup.

Posted by: dantesed at January 16, 2019 06:13 PM (88xKn)

54 how does he lure women?

hang bait off his piercings?

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 16, 2019 06:13 PM (MTjB1)

55 No doubt born at Mordor

Posted by: Skip at January 16, 2019 06:13 PM (/rm4P)

56 And on that note, see folks tomorrow!

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at January 16, 2019 06:13 PM (bcbK8)

57 The poor guy had nothing else to do while he's on furlough from his federal job.

Posted by: Mr. Feverhead at January 16, 2019 06:13 PM (guOXV)

58 I guarantee you that he probably pulls more tail than a lot of single guys on this board.

I guarantee you that the tail he pulls, no single guy here would want.

Posted by: and by "here", I mean planet Earth at January 16, 2019 06:13 PM (5qMRB)

59 Has he changed his name to Gorbag?

Posted by: Captain Obvious at January 16, 2019 06:13 PM (Hx3Yn)

60 Still more attractive than Harvey Weinstein.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at January 16, 2019 06:13 PM (+y/Ru)

61 Pebbles! Git yer pebbles here!

Posted by: Lena D. at January 16, 2019 06:13 PM (DMUuz)

62 Yeah I'm thinking barbells through the nips and a prince albert on this guy

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 16, 2019 06:13 PM (39g3+)

63 11 I guarantee you that he probably pulls more tail than a lot of single guys on this board.
Posted by: Colorado Alex In Exile at January 16, 2019 06:06 PM (wCmLp)

I guarantee you he has a tail

Posted by: josephistan at January 16, 2019 06:13 PM (Izzlo)

64
how does he lure women?

hang bait off his piercings?

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 16, 2019 06:13 PM (MTjB1)

---------------------------

By his sheer magnetism. And ruffies.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at January 16, 2019 06:13 PM (ptqGC)

65 Great. Last night I woke up from a horrible nightmare.

Did you catch up with your pal Jack Daniels
And his partner Jimmy Beam?

Posted by: Insomniac at January 16, 2019 06:14 PM (NWiLs)

66 I bet he's good at putting together puzzle boxes.

Posted by: Who is broseidon, semi-official komodo dragon shifter? at January 16, 2019 06:14 PM (oZ6kz)

67 I admire the commitment to a effed up life.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at January 16, 2019 06:14 PM (PJmyj)

68 I know people this has happened to.

And a bad piercing cunnilingus SNAFU story.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at J

tore the clit right off.

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 16, 2019 06:14 PM (MTjB1)

69 That thing looks like it crawled out of RBG's human suit.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at January 16, 2019 06:14 PM (5aX2M)

70 I guarantee you he has a tail
Posted by: josephistan at January 16, 2019 06:13 PM (Izzlo)

Vestigial, or prehensile?

Posted by: hogmartin at January 16, 2019 06:14 PM (t+qrx)

71 56 And on that note, see folks tomorrow!
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at January 16, 2019 06:13 PM (bcbK

He left the game on top.

Posted by: eleven at January 16, 2019 06:14 PM (NLLmE)

72 He would be an easy ID in a police lineup.

"Are you sure you don't need more time--"
"nope that's him"
"we want to make sure --"
"are you stupid or blind? Its the orc!"

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 16, 2019 06:14 PM (39g3+)

73 Everybody needs a "shoot on sight" list.

"Your Honor, I thought it was an actual f*cking Orc, that came through some rift in the space-time continuum. Took a full mag to finish it, too."

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at January 16, 2019 06:14 PM (nPGq2)

74 guarantee you that he probably pulls more tail than a lot of single guys on this board.
Posted by: Colorado Alex In Exile at J

male tail?

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 16, 2019 06:15 PM (MTjB1)

75 #notallorcs

Posted by: josephistan at January 16, 2019 06:15 PM (Izzlo)

76 A TSA agent's nightmare.

Posted by: Count de Monet at January 16, 2019 06:15 PM (QLvwG)

77 I think I saw him in a Spectrum commercial.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at January 16, 2019 06:15 PM (aKsyK)

78 Thank God California didn't find this guy in time to have him run for the Senate seat.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at January 16, 2019 06:15 PM (208R5)

79
He seems nice.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at January 16, 2019 06:15 PM (pNxlR)

80 Pierced Brosnan.

Posted by: Joe Mama at January 16, 2019 06:15 PM (OkKDg)

81
I dunno about lures but that one guy looks like he fell in the tacklebox.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 16, 2019 06:05 PM

I used to make my own fishing lures. That guy has enough shit on his face to make a half dozen spinners.

Posted by: Yellow Vest Guy at January 16, 2019 06:15 PM (jYje5)

82 He left the game on top.
-------------
You got to know when to hold 'em
Know when to fold 'em
Know when to walk away
Know when to run.

Posted by: Captain Obvious at January 16, 2019 06:16 PM (Hx3Yn)

83 I wonder at what age he took the fork in the road and shoved it through his tongue?

Posted by: AlaBAMA at January 16, 2019 06:16 PM (PJmyj)

84 I hope he didn't post any pictures of himself to "lure" these women.

Posted by: Jewells45 at January 16, 2019 06:16 PM (dUJdY)

85 With the fishing lure approach I guess.

Posted by: no good deed at January 16, 2019 06:16 PM (uTY3H)

86 Did you catch up with your pal Jack Daniels
And his partner Jimmy Beam?

And his brothers Black and Red

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 16, 2019 06:16 PM (39g3+)

87 hang bait off his piercings?
Posted by: yankeefifth at January 16, 2019 06:13 PM

---

I was thinking something like that, but just coudln't articulate it.

Posted by: shibumi at January 16, 2019 06:16 PM (OXL6p)

88 Registered sex offender arrested for trying to lure women

I'm gonna say, not with looks or charm.

Posted by: t-bird at January 16, 2019 06:16 PM (/D1gp)

89 66 I bet he's good at putting together puzzle boxes.
Posted by: Who is broseidon, semi-official komodo dragon shifter? at January 16, 2019 06:14 PM (oZ6kz)

We have such sights to show you

Posted by: Insomniac at January 16, 2019 06:16 PM (NWiLs)

90 #OrcSexLivesMatter

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at January 16, 2019 06:16 PM (+y/Ru)

91 Oh, give the guy a break. He's horny.

Posted by: Meade Lux Lewis at January 16, 2019 06:17 PM (hjaPQ)

92 I've wondered for a long time what Chucky Schumer would look like without makeup. Now I know.

Posted by: DJ Jazzy Mel at January 16, 2019 06:17 PM (xm5UF)

93 I guarantee you that he probably pulls more tail than a lot of single guys on this board.
Posted by: Colorado Alex In Exile at January 16, 2019 06:06 PM (wCmLp)

If by pull, you mean like by their hair into an alleyway, then maybe.

Posted by: OneEyedJack at January 16, 2019 06:17 PM (z79tQ)

94 "#notallorcs

Posted by: josephistan at January 16, 2019 06:15 PM (Izzlo) "

How dare these white people appropriate my culture. As a non-orc they can never understand the intersectionality of being a green bodied person in a white man's world.

Posted by: Orc Bjorcson at January 16, 2019 06:17 PM (oZ6kz)

95 His mug makes sending dick pics look positively civilized in comparison.

Posted by: Count de Monet at January 16, 2019 06:17 PM (QLvwG)

96 What ~~sex~~ species does he self-identify as?

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at January 16, 2019 06:17 PM (208R5)

97 So what did he do? Put a pair of Jimmy Choos in a dark alleyway?

Posted by: AlaBAMA at January 16, 2019 06:17 PM (PJmyj)

98 Can we set up with this woman?

(warning-really not an attractive woman)

https://tinyurl.com/y8373yfs

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at January 16, 2019 06:17 PM (AllCR)

99 I bet he's good at putting together puzzle boxes.
Posted by: Who is broseidon, semi-official komodo dragon shifter? at January 16, 2019 06:14 PM (oZ6kz)

We have such sights to show you
Posted by: Insomniac at January 16, 2019 06:16 PM (NWiLs)

Turns out those guys are not at all like the Mennonites. Easy enough mistake, right?

Posted by: hogmartin at January 16, 2019 06:17 PM (t+qrx)

100 At first I thought it might be Brian Stetler. But I guess he was too busy eating Mr Potato Head and his family.

Posted by: Marcus T at January 16, 2019 06:17 PM (C6Bub)

101 Hmm, I wonder if he'd let me stand next to him?

......I need someone to make me look good.

Posted by: Blake - used bridge salesman at January 16, 2019 06:17 PM (qC1Sy)

102 Wicked stepmother's idea of a blind date - He's got a nice personality...

Posted by: Archer at January 16, 2019 06:18 PM (gmo/4)

103 If luring women is wrong I don't wanna be right.

Posted by: Dr Spank at January 16, 2019 06:18 PM (4e+hS)

104 So what did he do? Put a pair of Jimmy Choos in a dark alleyway?
Posted by: AlaBAMA at J

choo choo motherfucker

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 16, 2019 06:18 PM (MTjB1)

105 "My fighting Uruk-Hai" always sounded like a Mordor high school football team to me

Posted by: josephistan at January 16, 2019 06:18 PM (Izzlo)

106 Has he formed his exploratory committee for the Democrat nomination in 2020? Seems highly qualified.

Posted by: Eeyore at January 16, 2019 06:18 PM (VaN/j)

107 AmEx Black in the middle of a spring trap

Posted by: Insomniac at January 16, 2019 06:18 PM (NWiLs)

108 "So, how's that Dale Carnegie course working out for you?"

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at January 16, 2019 06:18 PM (208R5)

109 "He's actually very sweet. We talked about trains." -- Alexandria Occasional-Cortex

Posted by: ShainS at January 16, 2019 06:18 PM (RoSgI)

110 "Turns out those guys are not at all like the Mennonites. Easy enough mistake, right?

Posted by: hogmartin at January 16, 2019 06:17 PM (t+qrx) "

Jacobite, Cenobite, Mennonite, same diff.

Posted by: Who is broseidon, semi-official komodo dragon shifter? at January 16, 2019 06:18 PM (oZ6kz)

111 Can we set up with this woman?

(warning-really not an attractive woman)

https://tinyurl.com/y8373yfs

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at January 16, 2019 06:17 PM (AllCR)

They say there's someone for everyone.

Posted by: DR.WTF at January 16, 2019 06:19 PM (T71PA)

112 84 I hope he didn't post any pictures of himself to "lure" these women.
Posted by: Jewells45 at January 16, 2019 06:16 PM (dUJdY)

His eHarmony pic is Clint Howard.

Posted by: eleven at January 16, 2019 06:19 PM (NLLmE)

113 I wonder at what age he took the fork in the road and shoved it through his tongue?

I don't think he stopped at his tongue.

Posted by: no good deed at January 16, 2019 06:19 PM (uTY3H)

114
A TSA agent's nightmare.

Posted by: Count de Monet at January 16, 2019 06:15 PM (QLvwG)

Nah. Under Obama's reign of terror, this guy would have skated through. I, on the other hand, was always pulled out of line for a complete gyno exam.

Since PDT was elected, that shit has stopped. Which makes me suspicious (as if) that the guy taking photos of our Tea Party leaders with our name tags here "might" have been working for The One.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at January 16, 2019 06:19 PM (ptqGC)

115
Registered sex offender

He registered as "willing to engage in sex"? With what?

Or perhaps I'm missing something ...

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at January 16, 2019 06:19 PM (pNxlR)

116 Hillary could have hit that. So hard.

Posted by: Peaches at January 16, 2019 06:19 PM (14URa)

117 was thinking something like that, but just coudln't articulate it.
Posted by: shibumi at J

wedding distractions.

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 16, 2019 06:19 PM (MTjB1)

118 Can we set up with this woman?

(warning-really not an attractive woman)

https://tinyurl.com/y8373yfs

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at January 16, 2019 06:17 PM (AllCR)

GAH! MY EYES!

(nice one, Fen!)

Posted by: Count de Monet at January 16, 2019 06:19 PM (QLvwG)

119 Oh, behave!

Posted by: JuJuBee, just generally being shamey at January 16, 2019 06:19 PM (zmIJL)

120 Tomorrow morning marks one year to the day since I lost my beautiful wife.
I have a strange desire to punch and idiot and then get shit faced.

I may, instead, have one or two drinks--maybe three. If you are so inclined raise a glass in honour of my Faye tonight.

Doesn't matter what's in the glass--Scotch, bourbon, gin, cheap beer, craft beer, buttermilk or kale smoothies are all good.

Posted by: Northernlurker, but call me Teem at January 16, 2019 06:20 PM (MkcN1)

121 He lured Mildred Pierce.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at January 16, 2019 06:20 PM (aKsyK)

122 Now I ask you, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, would you buy a used dildo from this man?

Posted by: Ultimate Millennial Prosecutor at January 16, 2019 06:20 PM (hjaPQ)

123 "My fighting Uruk-Hai" always sounded like a Mordor high school football team to me
-------
Not nearly as good as Miskatonic University's Fighting Cephalopods.

Go 'Pods!

Posted by: Captain Obvious at January 16, 2019 06:20 PM (Hx3Yn)

124 112
84 I hope he didn't post any pictures of himself to "lure" these women.

Posted by: Jewells45 at January 16, 2019 06:16 PM (dUJdY)

His eHarmony pic is Clint Howard.

Posted by: eleven at January 16, 2019 06:19 PM (NLLmE)

Can't stop laughing. Oh my.

Posted by: DJ Jazzy Mel at January 16, 2019 06:20 PM (xm5UF)

125 Pierced Brosnan.

Posted by: Joe Mama at January 16, 2019 06:15 PM (OkKDg)

Good thing I didn't have a mouthful of beer when I read that.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at January 16, 2019 06:20 PM (nPGq2)

126 Face it. There are women who are extremely attracted to serial killers in prison. Somewhere, this guy has a love connection. To kill.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at January 16, 2019 06:20 PM (ptqGC)

127 112 84 I hope he didn't post any pictures of himself to "lure" these women.
Posted by: Jewells45 at January 16, 2019 06:16 PM (dUJdY)

His eHarmony pic is Clint Howard.
Posted by: eleven at January 16, 2019 06:19 PM (NLLmE)

LOL!

Posted by: josephistan at January 16, 2019 06:20 PM (Izzlo)

128 I'm getting sick of having to put up with this shit. I'm just about ready to back anyone who says anyone caught looking like this will be shot on sight, and anyone who complains about it will be shot next.

Posted by: Tom Servo at January 16, 2019 06:20 PM (k1TUh)

129 > Registered sex offender

He registered as "willing to engage in sex"? With what?

Or perhaps I'm missing something ...
Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at January 16, 2019 06:19 PM (pNxlR)

I think "registered" means "has papers".

Posted by: hogmartin at January 16, 2019 06:21 PM (t+qrx)

130 I guess I am a little behind on this piercing thing. Didn't know you could do knobs.

Could knobs be of use somehow?

Posted by: Les Kinetic at January 16, 2019 06:21 PM (+fPHo)

131 He registered as "willing to engage in sex"? With what?

Anything too slow to escape, I'm guessing

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 16, 2019 06:21 PM (39g3+)

132 I guarantee you that he probably pulls more tail than a lot of single guys on this board.
Posted by: Colorado Alex In Exile at January 16, 2019 06:06 PM (wCmLp)

_____

More than most married guys here too.

Posted by: ShainS at January 16, 2019 06:21 PM (RoSgI)

133 We need to have a talk.

Posted by: Jillette Razor at January 16, 2019 06:21 PM (9dzlp)

134 Well he would make good great white shark bait.

Plenty of places to fasten the hook. Would create quite a wake on his own, when towed behind the boat.

And no need for him to be live bait either.

Posted by: GnuBreed at January 16, 2019 06:21 PM (Z4rgH)

135 >>>>Has he changed his name to Gorbag?<<<<
So close.
Shagrat.

Posted by: the guy that moves pianos for a living at January 16, 2019 06:21 PM (3DZIZ)

136 110 "Turns out those guys are not at all like the Mennonites. Easy enough mistake, right?

Posted by: hogmartin at January 16, 2019 06:17 PM (t+qrx) "

Jacobite, Cenobite, Mennonite, same diff.
Posted by: Who is broseidon, semi-official komodo dragon shifter? at January 16, 2019 06:18 PM (oZ6kz)

"We'll tear your soul apart! But after the barn-raising."

Posted by: Insomniac at January 16, 2019 06:21 PM (NWiLs)

137 I guarantee you that he probably pulls more tail than a lot of single guys on this board. Posted by: Colorado Alex In Exile at January 16, 2019 06:06 PM (wCmLp)

**********************

That's impossible, that would presume Morons have standards!

Posted by: Froderick Wonkensteen at January 16, 2019 06:21 PM (+dsLj)

138 Welp, certainly makes it easy to tell who the retard is in a group.

Posted by: Weasel at January 16, 2019 06:21 PM (MVjcR)

139 I guess I am a little behind on this piercing thing. Didn't know you could do knobs.

Yeah they put, I think its silicon shapes under your skin so you can have horns and bumps and stuff. Its... very odd.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 16, 2019 06:22 PM (39g3+)

140 Tomorrow morning marks one year to the day since I lost my beautiful wife.
I have a strange desire to punch and idiot and then get shit faced.

I may, instead, have one or two drinks--maybe three. If you are so inclined raise a glass in honour of my Faye tonight.

Doesn't matter what's in the glass--Scotch, bourbon, gin, cheap beer, craft beer, buttermilk or kale smoothies are all good.
Posted by: Northernlurker, but call me Teem at January 16, 2019 06:20 PM (MkcN1)

------------

Will do, NL. I hope you're doing as well as you can.

Posted by: Calm Mentor at January 16, 2019 06:22 PM (ffYR/)

141 off topic.

I was watching to youtoobs and saw that a Star Wars fan made a fairly decent short film called "Vader: Shards of the Past". Before he made it, he contacted Lucasfilm to see if was okay and they told him yes, as long as doesn't crowd-fund and/or monetize the video. So he self-financed it and didn't monetize it on the youtoobs. But it went viral and got something on the order of 7 million views, so Disney filed a copyright strike against the channel and monetized it for themselves. So far, Disney has earned about $80,000 off of this guys video.

What a crock of expletive.

Posted by: Darth Randall at January 16, 2019 06:22 PM (p0nVR)

142 you know, if he was using tinder or something and using his real picture we really should not be going after him for luring women. whoever gets a look at that pic, then decides whoo boy I want to get me some of that! might not be benefiting the country that much.

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 16, 2019 06:22 PM (MTjB1)

143
how does he lure women?

He puts on a pussy hat

Posted by: Flawless Male Logic at January 16, 2019 06:22 PM (TAmPV)

144 I'd hit it.

Posted by: Cher at January 16, 2019 06:22 PM (zmIJL)

145 Florida took one look at this guy and said, "No way, even we have standards."

Posted by: Blake - used bridge salesman at January 16, 2019 06:22 PM (qC1Sy)

146 Could knobs be of use somehow?
Posted by: Les Kinetic at January 16, 2019 06:21 PM (+fPHo)

------

Are you talking about a "knob job?"

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at January 16, 2019 06:22 PM (5aX2M)

147

Oooo I want to be his cellie!

He gets the bottom bunk, I get PMITA Dry everyday and twice on Sunday!

Posted by: Don Lemonparty at January 16, 2019 06:22 PM (n2qRY)

148 Layoff Clint Howard as he saved Apollo 13.

Had some sort of a bear friend too, I recall.

Posted by: Count de Monet at January 16, 2019 06:23 PM (QLvwG)

149 111 Can we set up with this woman?

(warning-really not an attractive woman)

https://tinyurl.com/y8373yfs

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at January 16, 2019 06:17 PM (AllCR)

Oh thank God. I was afraid it was going to be Helen Thomas.

Posted by: Insomniac at January 16, 2019 06:23 PM (NWiLs)

150 *raises glass to Faye* and hugs to Northernlurker. I can't imagine your pain.

Posted by: Jewells45 at January 16, 2019 06:23 PM (dUJdY)

151 "We'll tear your soul apart! But after the barn-raising."

That made me giggle-snort.

Posted by: no good deed at January 16, 2019 06:23 PM (uTY3H)

152 What does he do for a living? Stock the shelves at Target?

Posted by: dantesed at January 16, 2019 06:23 PM (88xKn)

153
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at January 16, 2019 06:17 PM (AllCR)

Now, do all y'all see how we're corrupting Fen?

We used to be able to click on her links without fear and loathing.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at January 16, 2019 06:23 PM (pNxlR)

154 I formally nominate the comments on this thread as the "Best of 2019."

Posted by: DJ Jazzy Mel at January 16, 2019 06:23 PM (xm5UF)

155 Well he would make good great white shark bait.

Plenty of places to fasten the hook. Would create quite a wake on his own, when towed behind the boat.

And no need for him to be live bait either.
Posted by: GnuBreed at J

wouldn't work. too much metal. would mess with the shark's electrical detectors.

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 16, 2019 06:24 PM (MTjB1)

156 In similar news, the waste of skin who kidnapped Jayme Closs washed out of the Marines in less than a month. Shocker, I know.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at January 16, 2019 06:24 PM (dcu2m)

157 He's got more metal in his face than the JV punk monkey.

Posted by: bluebell at January 16, 2019 06:24 PM (tVDnh)

158 I may, instead, have one or two drinks--maybe three. If you are so inclined raise a glass in honour of my Faye tonight.

Doesn't matter what's in the glass--Scotch, bourbon, gin, cheap beer, craft beer, buttermilk or kale smoothies are all good.

Posted by: Northernlurker, but call me Teem at January 16, 2019 06:20 PM (MkcN1)

Doing that right now, Teem. To the memory of your lovely wife, Faye.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at January 16, 2019 06:24 PM (nPGq2)

159 Could knobs be of use somehow?

You could hold to them when he's... uh nevermind.

Posted by: Jewells45 at January 16, 2019 06:24 PM (dUJdY)

160 Florida took one look at this guy and said, "No way, even we have standards."

Posted by: Blake - used bridge salesman at January 16, 2019 06:22 PM (qC1Sy)

Ohio said, "We'll take him."

Posted by: Jane D'oh at January 16, 2019 06:24 PM (ptqGC)

161 Are you talking about a "knob job?"
--------
The know no one dare polish.

Posted by: Captain Obvious at January 16, 2019 06:24 PM (Hx3Yn)

162 Awww he just needs a hug..

Posted by: Gene Wilder at January 16, 2019 06:24 PM (ICWiF)

163 84 I hope he didn't post any pictures of himself to "lure" these women.
Posted by: Jewells45 at January 16, 2019 06:16 PM (dUJdY)

He disguised his voice as a womens voice and was soliciting for a babysitter and other home services.

The police should check the crawlspace, bring in the cadaver dogs, and search any remote areas he frequented.

Hopefully he didn't get far enough to actually rack up a body count.

Posted by: rd at January 16, 2019 06:24 PM (kfj5i)

164 128 I'm getting sick of having to put up with this shit. I'm just about ready to back anyone who says anyone caught looking like this will be shot on sight, and anyone who complains about it will be shot next.
Posted by: Tom Servo at January 16, 2019 06:20 PM (k1TUh)

You have my endorsement.

Posted by: rickl at January 16, 2019 06:24 PM (sdi6R)

165 At least Mennonites smell pretty good.

I'll show myself out.

Posted by: eleven at January 16, 2019 06:25 PM (NLLmE)

166 Cool it people. bluebell is here!

Posted by: Weasel at January 16, 2019 06:25 PM (MVjcR)

167 Doesn't matter what's in the glass--Scotch, bourbon, gin, cheap beer, craft beer, buttermilk or kale smoothies are all good.

Posted by: Northernlurker, but call me Teem at January 16, 2019 06:20 PM (MkcN1)

Having a glass of red wine. {{{hugs}}}

Posted by: Jane D'oh at January 16, 2019 06:25 PM (ptqGC)

168 Is this the dude girls bring home to get back at their parents? Is that how this all happened?

You! Yeah you! We're dating now. Jump in the car.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at January 16, 2019 06:25 PM (PJmyj)

169 If you are so inclined raise a glass in honour of my Faye tonight.
Posted by: Northernlurker, but call me Teem at January 16, 2019 06:20 PM (MkcN1)

I will, Northernlurker.

Posted by: hogmartin at January 16, 2019 06:26 PM (t+qrx)

170 I sat next to him at a dinner and the guy never looked at me once! It was like he didn't even know I'm a woman. I'm so insulted he didn't subject me to his Male Gaze.

Posted by: Lena Duh-nam at January 16, 2019 06:26 PM (zmIJL)

171 He took a shower once but stopped when everyone started calling him Rusty.

Posted by: Mr. Feverhead at January 16, 2019 06:26 PM (guOXV)

172 He pull tail alright. Anything he is going after probably also have hooves.

Posted by: Roy at January 16, 2019 06:26 PM (ABjxW)

173 This is one of those threads that has given me the giggles, and I have tears streaming down my face.

What a nice break from the insanity ...

Posted by: ShainS at January 16, 2019 06:26 PM (RoSgI)

174 Dis guy couldn't get work on a fishing boat either. Face gets snagged in the nets all the time.

Posted by: Count de Monet at January 16, 2019 06:26 PM (QLvwG)

175 Hopefully he didn't get far enough to actually rack up a body count.

My guess is they had an eye on him but... who the hell knows these days, with how cops are.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 16, 2019 06:26 PM (39g3+)

176
Layoff Clint Howard as he saved Apollo 13.

Had some sort of a bear friend too, I recall.
Posted by: Count de Monet

And Tranya

https://youtu.be/_2cdXv93cRY

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at January 16, 2019 06:26 PM (aKsyK)

177 Posted by: Northernlurker, but call me Teem at January 16, 2019 06:20 PM (MkcN1)

I would never dishonor the memory of a loved one with kale. I know this has to be a terribly difficult time for you. Our thoughts and prayers are with you, and we're here if you need us.

Posted by: Insomniac at January 16, 2019 06:26 PM (NWiLs)

178 >>>It's in California. He'd put on a fake lady voice and call up women to come be a babysitter. His plan was trap them and do pervy stuff. It apparently never worked, but one target was a minor, so he got arrested.

So he's fucking retarded?

Posted by: Max Power at January 16, 2019 06:26 PM (q177U)

179 Hello Horde.

Yes, this is me in the prayer chain.

I am writing to ask for your help. To be clear, I have asked for and received help already. I wanted all to know that. Circumstances are such that I find myself needing ask another time.

-Calm Mentor is going through a very difficult time right now. He is at his last bit of money. Support is appreciated. Please pray that he gets a job.

https://www.gofundme.com/help-with-time-to-find-employment

The campaign tells the story, but this is my situation:

I am partially handicapped, with limited mobility and only 25% use of my strong right arm. Up until June, I was still able to drive for Uber, and did so for over a year. I was deactivated as a driver at that time.

My only family is a brother who I was helping financially while working. My "friends", I found, consisted of those from a marriage of 17 years which ended three years ago. I have been turned down for welfare benefits because, as reported, I made too much money this last year to qualify. I applied for SSDI, and am awaiting their first denial, as I'm told this is their standard practice.

While working, I had built up a small reserve of money, one that was used up recently to pay an oral surgeon to treat a badly abscessed tooth.

I have been everywhere in applying for jobs, and in the past 6 months have only gotten 3 days of good freelance work, and 5 days of temp work. I will find something, as failure is not an option. In the meantime, I am looking at homelessness very soon. This is the reason for my request. Anything you could do would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you for listening, and I have put my email in my nic if anyone would like to contact me off of the board. I will post this once only per thread for today and tomorrow. Be well.

Posted by: Calm Mentor at January 16, 2019 06:26 PM (ffYR/)

180 Ahem: Oakland: Pitchers and Catchers report February 11.

That is all.

Posted by: Blake - used bridge salesman at January 16, 2019 06:27 PM (qC1Sy)

181 He's too vanilla for me.

Posted by: Samantha Bee at January 16, 2019 06:27 PM (zmIJL)

182 Ferrous Bueller.

Posted by: Joe Mama at January 16, 2019 06:27 PM (OkKDg)

183 You! Yeah you! We're dating now. Jump in the car.
Posted by: AlaBAMA at January 16, 2019 06:25 PM (PJmyj

--------

If my sister brought this guy home, my mom would freak out and shoot him.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at January 16, 2019 06:27 PM (5aX2M)

184 What come out of the kitchen when you say you want to compliment the chef . . .

Posted by: Count de Monet at January 16, 2019 06:27 PM (QLvwG)

185 I'll bet Shep would be attracted.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at January 16, 2019 06:27 PM (ptqGC)

186 #MarsNeedsWomen

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at January 16, 2019 06:27 PM (dcu2m)

187 >>how does he lure women?

I think with a spinner and a treble hook.

Posted by: Roy at January 16, 2019 06:27 PM (ABjxW)

188 Authorities said he is a registered sex offender with a prior conviction of indecent exposure.

Of his face?

Posted by: Hands at January 16, 2019 06:27 PM (786Ro)

189 Is this the dude girls bring home to get back at their parents? Is that how this all happened?

"Yes that's right DADDY, his name is Rusty and I love him!"

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 16, 2019 06:27 PM (39g3+)

190
What a crock of expletive.
Posted by: Darth Randall at January 16, 2019 06:22 PM (p0nVR)

They got an extension of the copyright on their rat until the twelfth of 'leventy never, too! It pays to throw one's weight around, chumps!

-- Did Ne or Didn't Ne Corp.
"Bow Down to Da Rat!"

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at January 16, 2019 06:28 PM (pNxlR)

191 Ferrous Bueller.
---------
Now that's a good 'un.

Posted by: Captain Obvious at January 16, 2019 06:28 PM (Hx3Yn)

192 I'll bet Shep would be attracted.
Posted by: Jane D'oh

Re-defining Metal Head.

Posted by: Joe Mama at January 16, 2019 06:28 PM (OkKDg)

193 Posted by: Northernlurker, but call me Teem at January 16, 2019 06:20 PM (MkcN1)

Doing that right now, Teem. To the memory of your lovely wife, Faye.
Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at January 16, 2019 06:24 PM (nPGq2)
150 *raises glass to Faye* and hugs to Northernlurker. I can't imagine your pain.
Posted by: Jewells45 at January 16, 2019 06:23 PM (dUJdY) Will do, NL. I hope you're doing as well as you can.
Posted by: Calm Mentor at January 16, 2019 06:22 PM (ffYR/)

Clink

Posted by: Northernlurker, but call me Teem at January 16, 2019 06:28 PM (MkcN1)

194

Psycho strippers love this guy. He probably gets lots of skanky tail.

Posted by: M K Ultra at January 16, 2019 06:28 PM (n2qRY)

195 156 In similar news, the waste of skin who kidnapped Jayme Closs washed out of the Marines in less than a month. Shocker, I know.
Posted by: Mr. Peebles at January 16, 2019 06:24 PM (dcu2m)

-------

An initial report said his brother was a convicted sex offender. I have not heard any follow up, so maybe that was in error?

It wouldn't be the first time our media got shit wrong.

Posted by: rd at January 16, 2019 06:28 PM (kfj5i)

196 how does he lure women?

Essential oils.

Posted by: Hands at January 16, 2019 06:28 PM (786Ro)

197 I've seen prettier orcs.

Posted by: Mutnodjmet at January 16, 2019 06:28 PM (sPJyv)

198 *raises a glass of ice water to Northern... um, Teem*

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 16, 2019 06:28 PM (39g3+)

199 His first attempt at making a shrapnel IED was a failure.

Posted by: Roy at January 16, 2019 06:29 PM (ABjxW)

200 Him and Cher making out would sound like marbles and jumping jacks in a dryer.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at January 16, 2019 06:29 PM (PJmyj)

201 Could knobs be of use somehow?

Posted by: Les Kinetic at January 16, 2019 06:21 PM (+fPHo)

(heterodyne whistle, twiddles knobs some more)
"Come in Tokyo, come in Rangoon!"

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at January 16, 2019 06:29 PM (nPGq2)

202 Northern Lurker,

cheers. and may the Lord hold you in the palm of His hand and comfort you.

Posted by: nurse ratched at January 16, 2019 06:29 PM (d7Ww2)

203 I could actually see this guy getting a gig at CNN.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at January 16, 2019 06:29 PM (ptqGC)

204 I've seen prettier orcs.

http://tinyurl.com/y9ruxaba

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 16, 2019 06:30 PM (39g3+)

205
Is this the dude girls bring home to get back at their parents? Is that how this all happened?

You never loved me, Daddy! But Spencer here does!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at January 16, 2019 06:30 PM (pNxlR)

206 No fucking way pal

Posted by: TSA guy at the scanner at January 16, 2019 06:30 PM (ABjxW)

207 what state is he the governor in? guy looks like a rising star of the democratic party. has all the credentials.

Posted by: chavez the hugo at January 16, 2019 06:30 PM (KP5rU)

208 He could drive around in a white panel truck while the loudspeaker plays Pop Goes The Weasel.

He's The Good Tumor Man.

Posted by: GnuBreed at January 16, 2019 06:30 PM (Z4rgH)

209 Dick Cheney's hunting buddy.

Posted by: Joe Mama at January 16, 2019 06:30 PM (OkKDg)

210 He looks a bit like Vizzini.

Posted by: Jinx the Cat at January 16, 2019 06:30 PM (FTlwv)

211 196 how does he lure women?

Essential oils.
Posted by: Hands at January 16, 2019 06:28 PM (786Ro)

Pumpkin spice in the Fall.

Posted by: Insomniac at January 16, 2019 06:30 PM (NWiLs)

212 Also kyoot orcs

http://tinyurl.com/y8xptg9a

There's some kind of internet rule about it, I'm sure; there's a cute version of everything

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 16, 2019 06:30 PM (39g3+)

213 I could actually see this guy getting a gig at CNN.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at January 16, 2019 06:29 PM (ptqGC)

He'd make a great speed-bump.

Posted by: OneEyedJack at January 16, 2019 06:30 PM (z79tQ)

214

Posted by: Margarita who wishes she drank more at January 16, 2019 06:30 PM (Rxduq)

215 > how does he lure women?

Essential oils.
Posted by: Hands at January 16, 2019 06:28 PM (786Ro)

3-In-One is considered essential, right?

Posted by: hogmartin at January 16, 2019 06:31 PM (t+qrx)

216 He took a shower once but stopped when everyone started calling him Rusty.
Posted by: Mr. Feverhead at January 16, 2019 06:26 PM

Pssst...hey buddy, great horns. I got the authentic Tin Man oilcan right here. I'll let ya have it for ten bucks. Wouldn't you like to own a real piece of movie history? Plus it's practical. Keep it filled and presto...no more rust!

Posted by: Guy Just Trying To Make A Buck Off Rusty at January 16, 2019 06:31 PM (zmIJL)

217 He must of been bagging warthogs out of season.

Posted by: Lily, formerly of Hot Air now of AoSHQ, Assassin in the Night, not an NPC at January 16, 2019 06:31 PM (vbe3j)

218 In fairness to Mr. Martinez, neighbors say he makes a Chess pie to die for.

Posted by: Meade Lux Lewis at January 16, 2019 06:31 PM (hjaPQ)

219 Kurt Kobain was going for a similar look.

Didn't work out.

Posted by: Joe Mama at January 16, 2019 06:31 PM (OkKDg)

220 >>He could drive around in a white panel truck while the loudspeaker plays Pop Goes The Weasel.

Pop Goes The Weasel would be a great name for the gun thread.

Posted by: JackStraw at January 16, 2019 06:31 PM (/tuJf)

221 How does he have two big forehead bumps...?
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr.

*******

I bet I could read his mind...

Posted by: Helen Keller at January 16, 2019 06:31 PM (m45I2)

222 He can sit on my face anytime!

Posted by: Jimmy Acosta of CNN at January 16, 2019 06:31 PM (xm5UF)

223 Too bad they probably already did the Shrek XXX porn parody, he would have been a shoo in.

Posted by: Broseidon Czar of the Brocean at January 16, 2019 06:31 PM (v5wjt)

224 I'd like to see his parents. Probably attended Woodstock.

Posted by: Roy at January 16, 2019 06:32 PM (ABjxW)

225 There's some kind of internet rule about it, I'm sure; there's a cute version of everything
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 16, 2019 06:30 PM (39g3+)

Rule 34. No, wait, that's something entirely different.

Posted by: Insomniac at January 16, 2019 06:32 PM (NWiLs)

226 I've seen prettier orcs.
Posted by: Mutnodjmet at J

dude, she looks like a handful but she is at least a 7. get the horns, maybe an 8.

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 16, 2019 06:32 PM (MTjB1)

227
He'd make a great speed-bump.
Posted by: OneEyedJack at January 16, 2019 06:30 PM (z79tQ)

Doing the jobs Chechen pressure cooker bombers can no longer do!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at January 16, 2019 06:32 PM (pNxlR)

228 You look at this guy and think, "Buddy, if you'd have taken the money you spent on adding a tackle box to your face and used it for a gym membership, you'd have probably had a few bucks left over for a decent ride. But no, you just have to show everyone just what poor life choices can do to a person."

Posted by: Blake - used bridge salesman at January 16, 2019 06:32 PM (qC1Sy)

229 I could cure him, but the cure would come at a terrible cost.

Posted by: Max Power at January 16, 2019 06:32 PM (q177U)

230 could actually see this guy getting a gig at CNN.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at January 16, 2019 06:29 PM

Ana Navarro's nails aren't going to file themselves.

Posted by: Hands at January 16, 2019 06:32 PM (786Ro)

231 The real test of his attractiveness now that he's in the slammer is how many hundreds of lovestruck females write him letters.

Posted by: Skookumchuk at January 16, 2019 06:32 PM (CeJUf)

232 On the bright side, the cops didn't need a dragnet for this perp because he looks like he's been snagged before.

Posted by: Fritz at January 16, 2019 06:32 PM (wxZSX)

233 How does he have two big forehead bumps...?
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr.

*******

I bet I could read his mind...
Posted by: Helen Keller at January 16, 2019 06:31 PM (m45I2)

Noice!

Posted by: OneEyedJack at January 16, 2019 06:32 PM (z79tQ)

234 Future CNN correspondent...

Posted by: GuyfromNH at January 16, 2019 06:32 PM (Gs5TH)

235 "Lure" women? Like with a hook?

Posted by: wth at January 16, 2019 06:33 PM (v0R5T)

236 Remember that scene in Breaking Bad with the magnets?

That would be sooooo much fun.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at January 16, 2019 06:33 PM (PJmyj)

237 He'd put on a fake lady voice and call up women to come be a babysitter. His plan was trap them and do pervy stuff. It apparently never worked, but one target was a minor, so he got arrested.

So he's fucking retarded?
Posted by: Max Power at January 16, 2019 06:

---------

"What was your first clue something was wrong ma'am?"

"Well, when I got to the house to babysit, he and all his friends were in the yard toiling away, building this creepy tower with a flaming eye on top. It just felt... weird."

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at January 16, 2019 06:33 PM (5aX2M)

238 231 The real test of his attractiveness now that he's in the slammer is how many hundreds of lovestruck females write him letters.
Posted by: Skookumchuk

HIYA SKOOK!

Posted by: nurse ratched at January 16, 2019 06:33 PM (d7Ww2)

239 236 Remember that scene in Breaking Bad with the magnets?

That would be sooooo much fun.
Posted by: AlaBAMA at January 16, 2019 06:33 PM (PJmyj)

YEAH! SCIENCE!

Posted by: Insomniac at January 16, 2019 06:33 PM (NWiLs)

240 Pop Goes The Weasel would be a great name for the gun thread.
Posted by: JackStraw at January 16, 2019 06:31 PM (/tuJf)

heh. Well done, sir.

Posted by: DR.WTF at January 16, 2019 06:34 PM (T71PA)

241 I think we've found Jigglypoof's soulmate.

Posted by: jwpaine at January 16, 2019 06:34 PM (odzEc)

242 Hello.

Another Day, Another Weirdo.

Posted by: ALH at January 16, 2019 06:34 PM (/Z/Su)

243 Northerlurker - Wasn't going to have one but for for your love I will.

Posted by: Skip at January 16, 2019 06:34 PM (/rm4P)

244 I'm going to go out on a limb and say Don Lemon, Andi Cooper, and Shep! would find this guy "exciting."

Posted by: Jane D'oh at January 16, 2019 06:34 PM (ptqGC)

245 If you are so inclined raise a glass in honour of my Faye tonight.

_____

Done.

*vitrual hug*

Posted by: ShainS at January 16, 2019 06:35 PM (RoSgI)

246 Dear Penthouse,
I never thought I would write to your fine publication but I just have to tell what happened to me...

Posted by: Mitt Rombley at January 16, 2019 06:35 PM (xm5UF)

247 Separated at birth.

https://tinyurl.com/y965jsr3

Posted by: Captain Obvious at January 16, 2019 06:35 PM (Hx3Yn)

248 He looks like the guy from the Lovers Lane story who was scratching at the passenger door, the teens drive off in terror, and later find a hook stuck on the door handle.

Posted by: JuJuBee, just generally being shamey at January 16, 2019 06:35 PM (zmIJL)

249 Real healthy society we got here.

Posted by: josephistan at January 16, 2019 06:35 PM (Izzlo)

250

Pale N. Steel

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at January 16, 2019 06:35 PM (aKsyK)

251 >>>How does he have two big forehead bumps...?<<<

Fish Whacker.

Posted by: Fritz at January 16, 2019 06:35 PM (wxZSX)

252 >>Could knobs be of use somehow?

They keep me from sliding off.

Posted by: Sandra Flook at January 16, 2019 06:36 PM (2cuLk)

253 Thank you for the raised glasses.

Posted by: Northernlurker, but call me Teem at January 16, 2019 06:36 PM (MkcN1)

254 Cobs, Ace, it's back -- hash (oYXvC)

Posted by: Hands at January 16, 2019 06:36 PM (786Ro)

255 Troll at #250.

Posted by: Insomniac at January 16, 2019 06:36 PM (NWiLs)

256 To Faye!

Posted by: Count de Monet at January 16, 2019 06:36 PM (QLvwG)

257 Now the hash is oYXvC

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 16, 2019 06:36 PM (39g3+)

258 Posted by: Not so Calm Mentor. at January 16, 2019 06:35 PM (oYXvC)

Your mother must be so proud.

Posted by: Meade Lux Lewis at January 16, 2019 06:36 PM (hjaPQ)

259 Banhammer on 250 now!

Posted by: josephistan at January 16, 2019 06:36 PM (Izzlo)

260 4. Winner winner chicken dinner

Posted by: Kactus at January 16, 2019 06:36 PM (9RQ4k)

261 250 What a silly troll on the previous thread. Calm Mentor (the guy who couldn't hold down an Uber driver job) can't afford a gun to eat a bullet with. He's much more likely to use a rope.

Feb 14 seems like an accurate guess for the day he tops himself though. Lol.
Posted by: Not so Calm Mentor. at January 16, 2019 06:35 PM (oYXvC)

Wow. Just wow.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at January 16, 2019 06:36 PM (PJmyj)

262 Every family has a black sheep. Even the Hutts.

Posted by: Mr. Feverhead at January 16, 2019 06:36 PM (guOXV)

263
#250 needs to be made gone, for good, and right now.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at January 16, 2019 06:36 PM (pNxlR)

264 Fag boy is back at 250.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at January 16, 2019 06:37 PM (nPGq2)

265 I can only imagine what kind of piercings this guy sports on his Orc Drok.

Posted by: garrett at January 16, 2019 06:37 PM (h5OMN)

266 Looks like BSG is at a library again.

Someone PLEASE banhammer 250.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at January 16, 2019 06:37 PM (ptqGC)

267 240 Pop Goes The Weasel would be a great name for the gun thread.
Posted by: JackStraw at January 16, 2019 06:31 PM (/tuJf)

heh. Well done, sir.
Posted by: DR.WTF at January 16, 2019 06:34 PM (T71PA)
--------
I need to think of a way to use that!

Posted by: Weasel at January 16, 2019 06:37 PM (MVjcR)

268 Dear Penthouse,
I never thought I would write to your fine publication but I just have to tell what happened to me...
Posted by: Mitt Rombley at January 16, 2019 06:35 PM

Mitt, you're a damned liar. I'm just not that into you.

Posted by: Guy with horns and spikes in his head at January 16, 2019 06:37 PM (zmIJL)

269 Wow. Just wow.
Posted by: AlaBAMA

Rule 2: DO NOT QUOTE THE TROLLS

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 16, 2019 06:37 PM (39g3+)

270 Please ban hammer that ass out of here.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at January 16, 2019 06:37 PM (PJmyj)

271 how does he lure women?
..........

He stands around outside Starbucks bathroom.

Posted by: wth at January 16, 2019 06:37 PM (v0R5T)

272 Posted by: AlaBAMA at January 16, 2019 06:36 PM (PJmyj)

FFS don't copy and paste the trolls. Now cleanup is more difficult.

Posted by: Insomniac at January 16, 2019 06:37 PM (NWiLs)

273 Rule 2: DO NOT QUOTE THE TROLLS
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 16, 2019 06:37 PM (39g3+)

I just wanted to doc his hash but point taken.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at January 16, 2019 06:38 PM (PJmyj)

274 Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery ... but dude, you really need to up your game. Those bumps are pathetic.

Posted by: Darth Maul at January 16, 2019 06:38 PM (/qEW2)

275 What a stud, stud, stud, stud, stud, stud, stud, stud, stud...oops, lost count.

Posted by: Girl what dates inmates at January 16, 2019 06:38 PM (a1s18)

276 We need a better class of troll.

Posted by: USNtakim profoundly deplorable. at January 16, 2019 06:38 PM (0OmEj)

277 Is it wrong I wish the Banhammer could electrocute these trolls?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at January 16, 2019 06:38 PM (ptqGC)

278 And 263 has to be deleted.

Posted by: Insomniac at January 16, 2019 06:38 PM (NWiLs)

279 >> I'd like to see his parents. Probably attended Woodstock.

Posted by: Roy

I'm thinking Chernobyl.

Posted by: GnuBreed at January 16, 2019 06:38 PM (Z4rgH)

280 238, Hey, there Nurse Ratched, RN!

Posted by: Skookumchuk at January 16, 2019 06:38 PM (CeJUf)

281 Don't FFS me. I was trying to help.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at January 16, 2019 06:38 PM (PJmyj)

282
Disappear #259 while you're at it.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at January 16, 2019 06:38 PM (pNxlR)

283 oTXvC, we should talk.

Preferably in person.

Posted by: WitchDoktor, as if you give a damn at January 16, 2019 06:38 PM (IfYaq)

284 Here we were having almost as much fun as the chainsaw bayonet thread and some troll has to come and crap all over everything.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 16, 2019 06:39 PM (39g3+)

285 I hope at least some of these trolls hit droppings are being forwarded directly to local law enforcement personnel.

Posted by: qdpsteve at January 16, 2019 06:39 PM (miE9U)

286 *wishes troll out into the cornfield*

Posted by: Count de Monet at January 16, 2019 06:39 PM (QLvwG)

287 "164 128 I'm getting sick of having to put up with this shit. I'm just about ready to back anyone who says anyone caught looking like this will be shot on sight, and anyone who complains about it will be shot next.
Posted by: Tom Servo at January 16, 2019 06:20 PM (k1TUh)

You have my endorsement.

Posted by: rickl at January 16, 2019 06:24 PM (sdi6R) "

And mine.

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at January 16, 2019 06:39 PM (5fNnO)

288 259 Northern Lurker, after a year all alone, might eat a bullet tonight though.
Posted by: Not so Calm Mentor. at January 16, 2019 06:36 PM (oYXvC)

Really? Wow! you just made me laugh.

Posted by: Northernlurker, but call me Teem at January 16, 2019 06:39 PM (MkcN1)

289 Well, now we finally know what BSG looks like.

Posted by: rickl at January 16, 2019 06:39 PM (sdi6R)

290 oTXvC, we should talk.

Preferably in person.

I'll drop by with an axe handle

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 16, 2019 06:39 PM (39g3+)

291 This has to be a form of cyberstalking/bullying. Good grief.

Posted by: Insomniac at January 16, 2019 06:39 PM (NWiLs)

292 Oh this G-d damn motherfucker.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at January 16, 2019 06:39 PM (5aX2M)

293 The troll is just mad because we are joking about his boyfriend.

Posted by: DJ Jazzy Mel at January 16, 2019 06:40 PM (xm5UF)

294 Man, I got in way too late on this one. All the crappie jokes already taken. Oh well, nothing to carp about.

Posted by: wth at January 16, 2019 06:40 PM (v0R5T)

295 Disappear #259 while you're at it.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at January 16, 2019 06:38 PM (pNxlR)

This. Unbelievable. Yep, evil exists among us.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at January 16, 2019 06:40 PM (ptqGC)

296 I can't believe the crap people will say to each other on the internet. Just amaze balls.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at January 16, 2019 06:40 PM (PJmyj)

297 Did he have a van with 'Free Candy' on the side?

Posted by: Aetius451AD Work Laptop at January 16, 2019 06:40 PM (r/WuD)

298 you know that somewhere out there there is some girl who literally gets of on his hornnubs.

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 16, 2019 06:40 PM (MTjB1)

299 Re the topic above:

Nice to see AOC has her 2020 veep already chosen!

Posted by: qdpsteve at January 16, 2019 06:40 PM (miE9U)

300 Jeebus...

Posted by: Insomniac at January 16, 2019 06:40 PM (NWiLs)

301 Preferably in person.
Posted by: WitchDoktor, as if you give a damn at January 16, 2019 06:38 PM (IfYaq)

The worst part of this kind of "human" is that they thrive on the anonymity.
Face to face you rarely get this kind of shit without some violent remediation, which has a mellowing effect over time.

Posted by: OneEyedJack at January 16, 2019 06:40 PM (z79tQ)

302 281 >> I'd like to see his parents. Probably attended Woodstock.

Posted by: Roy

I'm thinking Chernobyl.
Posted by: GnuBreed at January 16, 2019 06:38 PM (Z4rgH)

Lead pipes don't make themselves.

Posted by: Mr. Feverhead at January 16, 2019 06:40 PM (guOXV)

303 I long for the heady days when Palin Steele told me the baby we lost in the second trimester wasn't actually human.

A kinder, gentler time.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at January 16, 2019 06:41 PM (ptqGC)

304 guessing he picks up girls by telling them his dad is hellboy.

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 16, 2019 06:41 PM (MTjB1)

305 281 >> I'd like to see his parents. Probably attended Woodstock.

Posted by: Roy

I'm thinking Chernobyl.
Posted by: GnuBreed at January 16, 2019 06:38 PM (Z4rgH)

heh heh

Posted by: Gene Wilder at January 16, 2019 06:41 PM (ICWiF)

306 Wow, that is, without a doubt, the nastiest troll I've seen on AoS.

Posted by: Blake - used bridge salesman at January 16, 2019 06:41 PM (qC1Sy)

307 What a sad life to be obsessed with someone online you've never even met. Just a hint, wannabe edgelord - this site has many upstanding people like CM and NL and Fen and bluebell, but it also has sick fucks like me. You're out of your fucking league, rodent.

Posted by: Broseidon Czar of the Brocean at January 16, 2019 06:41 PM (v5wjt)

308
Occupation: NMR technician

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at January 16, 2019 06:41 PM (LsBY9)

309 Resemblance of the individual depicted above to any Miklos, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

Posted by: Miklos, with the legal stuff at January 16, 2019 06:42 PM (zCyNd)

310 279 >> I'd like to see his parents. Probably attended Woodstock.

Posted by: Roy

I'm thinking Chernobyl.
Posted by: GnuBreed at January 16, 2019 06:38 PM (Z4rgH)

LOL!

Posted by: rickl at January 16, 2019 06:42 PM (sdi6R)

311 I would hit it with a hammer, a sledgehammer, a Mac truck, and a zamboni. IYKWIMAITYD.

Posted by: NaughtyPine at January 16, 2019 06:42 PM (/+bwe)

312 I can totally see piercing boy working as a carnie. Or ice cream truck driver.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at January 16, 2019 06:42 PM (ptqGC)

313 Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 16, 2019 06:30 PM (39g3+)

Chibi Garona?

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette at January 16, 2019 06:42 PM (uquGJ)

314 Broseidon, well said.
Looking forward to seeing you on the Trebek show. :-)

Posted by: qdpsteve at January 16, 2019 06:42 PM (miE9U)

315 Hey Kamala, I got your VP pick right here! Registered Sex Offender Dude With Horns n' Studs! You're welcome, dear.

Posted by: JuJuBee, just generally being shamey at January 16, 2019 06:42 PM (zmIJL)

316 What is it with all of the disgustingly vile trolls on here today?

Posted by: Surfperch at January 16, 2019 06:43 PM (tVQUs)

317 JuJu, I already called it. AOC has dibs!

Posted by: qdpsteve at January 16, 2019 06:43 PM (miE9U)

318 312 I can totally see piercing boy working as a carnie. Or ice cream truck driver.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at January 16, 2019 06:42 PM (ptqGC)

Shudder at the thought of this puke handing stuffed animals to kids.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at January 16, 2019 06:43 PM (PJmyj)

319 got your VP pick right here! Registered Sex Offender Dude With Horns n' Studs! You're welcome, dear.
Posted by: JuJuBee, just generally being shamey at J

she would never select some guy that willie loaned her out to as her running mate.

Posted by: yankeefifth at January 16, 2019 06:43 PM (MTjB1)

320 Northern Lurker, has it been a year? From experience, that first year is the toughest. It'll still hurt, but it does get a bit easier from here. May her memory be a blessing.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at January 16, 2019 06:44 PM (gC2IV)

321 If I could reach out through the internet I'd hammer a troll in person.

Posted by: USNtakim profoundly deplorable. at January 16, 2019 06:44 PM (0OmEj)

322 No doubt born at Mordor
Posted by: Skip at January 16, 2019 06:13 PM

More door? Don't mind if I do. A third one would really set my house apart.

Posted by: Dr. Chrissy Ford at January 16, 2019 06:44 PM (zmIJL)

323 Ruth Bader Meinhoff tango uniform yet?

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at January 16, 2019 06:44 PM (Z+IKu)

324
*ponders the morning chimp*

Proof positive that we descended from apes.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at January 16, 2019 06:44 PM (w54mS)

325 He has lots of movie roll potential, they still make horror movies.

Posted by: Skip at January 16, 2019 06:44 PM (/rm4P)

326
What is it with all of the disgustingly vile trolls on here today?
Posted by: Surfperch at January 16, 2019 06:43 PM (tVQUs)

Locked out EPA hallway crappers gotta find something to do with all their current free time.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at January 16, 2019 06:44 PM (pNxlR)

327 Hmm...Do you find him more attractive with little horns, minimal metal and no tan or no horns, maximum metal and tan? Difficult choice.

Posted by: Tuna at January 16, 2019 06:44 PM (jm1YL)

328 To Faye... and to you as well NL.

Posted by: IP at January 16, 2019 06:45 PM (dM3St)

329 I can totally see piercing boy working as a carnie. Or ice cream truck driver.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at January 16, 2019 06:42 PM (ptqGC)

Shudder at the thought of this puke handing stuffed animals to kids.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at January 16, 2019 06:43 PM (PJmyj)

In the first year we lived in IL, we went to the Kane County festival, and a carnie yelled at my husband, who was holding 5 y.o. D'oh Boy, "Hey. Bring your little nose picker over here and see if he can win a prize."

We left.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at January 16, 2019 06:45 PM (ptqGC)

330 I'll drop by with an axe handle

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 16, 2019 06:39 PM (39g3+)

Like this?

https://tinyurl.com/y9m89863

Posted by: Lester Maddox (D) at January 16, 2019 06:45 PM (zCyNd)

331 That picture. I did not need to see that. No, I did not...

Posted by: Lady in Black - Death to the Man Bun at January 16, 2019 06:45 PM (JoUsr)

332 Chibi Garona?

maybe, some WoW fan page with lots of chibi illustrations. You can make almost anything kyoot with big eyes. The Japanese are really creative at it, even creating cute girl anthropomorphizations of products.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 16, 2019 06:45 PM (39g3+)

333 JuJu, I already called it. AOC has dibs!
Posted by: qdpsteve at January 16, 2019 06:43 PM

Jell-o pit fight to claim him.

Posted by: JuJuBee, just generally being shamey at January 16, 2019 06:45 PM (zmIJL)

334 Nothing like trolling online, saying stuff they wouldn't dare say in person, because they know if they said such things in person, they'd be "helped" to find the door, and might succeed, after the fourth or fifth try.

Posted by: Blake - used bridge salesman at January 16, 2019 06:45 PM (qC1Sy)

335 How'd he grow horns? Photoshop?

Posted by: Chris M at January 16, 2019 06:45 PM (nvUhy)

336 290 oTXvC, we should talk.

Preferably in person.

I'll drop by with an axe handle
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 16, 2019 06:39 PM (39g3+)

I have a three-headed morning star. In fact, it kind of looks like the chap in the photo.

Posted by: josephistan at January 16, 2019 06:46 PM (Izzlo)

337 I remember when this sex offender was just a young man. I sure miss those "play" sessions we had back in the day while he was in grade school. <sigh>

Posted by: Hairy Reid Ex Senator and Alleged Pederast at January 16, 2019 06:46 PM (xm5UF)

338 'Bet I can make you feel horny'

'Touch my head'

Posted by: garrett at January 16, 2019 06:46 PM (h5OMN)

339 Come with me if you want to die.

Posted by: alexthechick - Superelite Ragebunny. Hopping all around. at January 16, 2019 06:46 PM (GbPPJ)

340 Remember that our lefty friends are not creative enough to do anything but, project.

So perhaps prayers for the troll to receive intervention might be in order. Or not.

And to lovely Faye, this covfefe is for you!

Posted by: OldDominionMom at January 16, 2019 06:46 PM (t0Z53)

341 JuJu Bee, OMG.
"The Fugliest Show On Earth" ;-)

Posted by: qdpsteve at January 16, 2019 06:46 PM (miE9U)

342 Hey, fuckface.

Let's you and me get together. Email in nic. We can have our very own little MoMe.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at January 16, 2019 06:46 PM (5aX2M)

343 332 Chibi Garona?

M-m-m-my Garona?

Posted by: Insomniac at January 16, 2019 06:46 PM (NWiLs)

344

Kind of like Uncle Martin from My Favorite Martian got hooked on Meth and PCP...

Posted by: In Vino Veritits at January 16, 2019 06:47 PM (n2qRY)

345 What is it with all of the disgustingly vile trolls on here today?
Posted by: Surfperch at January 16, 2019 06:43 PM (tVQUs)

Locked out EPA hallway crappers gotta find something to do with all their current free time.
Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at January 16, 2019 06:44 PM (pNxlR)

That's probably a good explanation for the pick up in trolling activity we've had here since the start of the shutdown.

Posted by: Surfperch at January 16, 2019 06:47 PM (tVQUs)

346 That guy ought to cut it out before he ends up on Botched.

Posted by: wth at January 16, 2019 06:47 PM (v0R5T)

347 339 Come with me if you want to die.
Posted by: alexthechick - Superelite Ragebunny. Hopping all around. at January 16, 2019 06:46 PM (GbPPJ)

I'm not falling for that again.

Posted by: AlaBAMA at January 16, 2019 06:47 PM (PJmyj)

348 Like this?

I was thinking more like this

http://tinyurl.com/y8hgxk7t

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 16, 2019 06:47 PM (39g3+)

349 We seem to be attracting a lower class of troll.

Posted by: ALH at January 16, 2019 06:47 PM (/Z/Su)

350 "Your Luggage Locks. Give them to me."

Posted by: garrett at January 16, 2019 06:47 PM (h5OMN)

351 343 332 Chibi Garona?

M-m-m-my Garona?
Posted by: Insomniac

excuse me?

Posted by: nurse ratched at January 16, 2019 06:47 PM (d7Ww2)

352 Yeah, he definitely was at a disadvantage with his natural -2 Charisma modifier. How does one stat out "registered sex offender" anyway?

Posted by: pookysgirl has played too much DnD at January 16, 2019 06:48 PM (XKZwp)

353 Dude must confuse the hell out of phrenologists.

Posted by: Hands at January 16, 2019 06:48 PM (786Ro)

354 they know if they said such things in person, they'd be "helped" to find the door, and might succeed, after the fourth or fifth try.

Like Al Bundy with one of Kelly's boyfriends

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at January 16, 2019 06:48 PM (39g3+)

355 I sentence him to thirty seconds in an MRI scanner.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at January 16, 2019 06:48 PM (dcu2m)

356 Something tells me he has Possum Kingdom by the Toadies playing on repeat.

Posted by: no good deed at January 16, 2019 06:48 PM (uTY3H)

357 Christopher, yup.

Some people just desperately *need* a baseball bat liberally applied to their forehead and genitalia in mega-multiple doses.

Posted by: qdpsteve at January 16, 2019 06:48 PM (miE9U)

358 Has anyone checked with the CommieProgTards about this?

I mean, he's white, which means he can go to jail.

However, he's a freak, which means that he's a protected member of society.

My guess on their take is "he's a victim of discrimination who has been cruelly rejected by women, so they deserve to be raped, especially if they're white Christians."
Posted by: shibumi at January 16, 2019 06:11 PM (OXL6p)

Some grievance studies mathematician really ought to figure out some function that takes a bunch of parameters like race, sexual orientation, gender, etc. and returns -1 or 1. If it's -1 they are victims and if it's 1 they are privileged and deserve to be punished.

The one parameter that would be excluded would be any action that they actually do, since in the mind of the leftists you are guilty or innocent not by what you do, but by what you are.

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at January 16, 2019 06:48 PM (/qEW2)

359 I'm not so sure the horns coming out of his forehead are fake.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at January 16, 2019 06:48 PM (ptqGC)

360 His dad always told him "if you want the girls, show your mettle."

Posted by: Mr. Feverhead at January 16, 2019 06:49 PM (guOXV)

361 351 343 332 Chibi Garona?

M-m-m-my Garona?
Posted by: Insomniac

excuse me?
Posted by: nurse ratched at January 16, 2019 06:47 PM (d7Ww2)

Such a dirty mind.

Posted by: Insomniac at January 16, 2019 06:49 PM (NWiLs)

362 Dude must confuse the hell out of phrenologists.
-----
It's retro-phrenology.

Posted by: Captain Obvious at January 16, 2019 06:49 PM (Hx3Yn)

363 Lure? Or gore?

Posted by: ... at January 16, 2019 06:49 PM (uEbPt)

364 Your Luggage Locks. Give them to me."
Posted by: garrett at January 16, 2019 06:47 PM

Is that the new pickup line? *scribbles note*

Posted by: NaughtyPine at January 16, 2019 06:49 PM (/+bwe)

365 I sentence him to thirty seconds in an MRI scanner.
Posted by: Mr. Peebles at January 16, 2019 06:48 PM (dcu2m)

We're low-budget here. Just stick his head in a microwave.

Posted by: qdpsteve at January 16, 2019 06:49 PM (miE9U)

366 That guy ought to cut it out before he ends up on Botched.
Posted by: wth at January 16, 2019 06:47 PM (v0R5T)

My wife watches that show. People are fucked up.

Posted by: DR.WTF at January 16, 2019 06:49 PM (T71PA)

367 Such a dirty mind.
Posted by: Insomniac

who? ME?

Posted by: nurse ratched at January 16, 2019 06:49 PM (d7Ww2)

368 Your honor, look at me. I'm a fucking Orc. How the fuck I'm gonna lure a human?
*******************************************************

Well, he's an Orc-Magnon, so maybe he can lure some half-human babes.

Posted by: JuJuBee, just generally being shamey at January 16, 2019 06:49 PM (zmIJL)

369 Proof positive that we descended from apes.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at January 16, 2019 06:44 PM (w54mS)

Some are still working on that.

Anyway, any good sales at the mall in Asheville?

Posted by: Miklos, Provisional RNC at January 16, 2019 06:49 PM (zCyNd)

370 Skippy here is already a registered sex offender . His bail is 500,000... Prolly take 47 members of MS13 to bring him down in San Quinten before they stab him to death... being little dudes and all..

Posted by: sOME mORON at January 16, 2019 06:49 PM (ICWiF)

371 Rest in peace, Faye.

*quaffs*

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at January 16, 2019 06:50 PM (5fNnO)

372 How'd he grow horns? Photoshop?
Posted by: Chris M at January 16, 2019 06:45 PM (nvUhy)
***************
Implants placed under the skin.

Posted by: redridinghood at January 16, 2019 06:50 PM (hECVl)

373 When it rains does the inside of his head get wet?
Looks like a lot of leaky spots.

Posted by: wth at January 16, 2019 06:50 PM (v0R5T)

374 As said lots of government nonessential personal are getting more time off than normal, and their free internet porn time is lacking.

Posted by: Skip at January 16, 2019 06:50 PM (/rm4P)

375 >>Dude must confuse the hell out of phrenologists.

I bet it's a pretty accurate representation of what's going on inside.

Posted by: JackStraw at January 16, 2019 06:50 PM (/tuJf)

376 Holy shamoly! Nothing on that bloke is going in my top pocket.

Posted by: Gary Drayton at January 16, 2019 06:51 PM (786Ro)

377 367 Such a dirty mind.
Posted by: Insomniac

who? ME?
Posted by: nurse ratched at January 16, 2019 06:49 PM (d7Ww2)

Get a room, you two. You can even push the beds together.

Posted by: Aetius451AD Work Laptop at January 16, 2019 06:51 PM (r/WuD)

378

nood

Posted by: Soothsayer -- Fake Commenter at January 16, 2019 06:51 PM (Rca+r)

379 Does anyone else here think it should be made illegal for "doctors" to do these kinds of "modifications" to a person?

I mean, I like capitalism, but geezaloo. If idiots want to mutilate themselves, make 'em go to Mexico.

Posted by: qdpsteve at January 16, 2019 06:51 PM (miE9U)

380 Where does someone like this work?
Would not be surprised if he is collecting disability.

Posted by: redridinghood at January 16, 2019 06:51 PM (hECVl)

381 Locked out EPA hallway crappers gotta find something to do with all their current free time.

Pron on government time>government cheese?

Posted by: Miklos, Provisional RNC nominee at January 16, 2019 06:51 PM (zCyNd)

382 When it rains does the inside of his head get wet?
Looks like a lot of leaky spots.
Posted by: wth at January 16, 2019 06:50 PM

Needs Rustoleum.

Posted by: NaughtyPine at January 16, 2019 06:51 PM (/+bwe)

383 If he can make those studs vibrate there might be a woman or two who would be interested.
And nood.

Posted by: Northernlurker, but call me Teem at January 16, 2019 06:51 PM (MkcN1)

384 Proof positive that we descended from apes.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at January 16, 2019 06:44 PM (w54mS)

Some are still working on that.

Anyway, any good sales at the mall in Asheville?

Posted by: Miklos, Provisional RNC at January 16, 2019 06:49 PM (zCyNd)

You've got that wrong!

Posted by: Dr. Zaius at January 16, 2019 06:51 PM (QLvwG)

385 Chibi Garona?
Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette at January 16, 2019 06:42 PM

Tulsi Gabbard?

(What language are we dabbling in, anyway?)

Posted by: JuJuBee, just generally being shamey at January 16, 2019 06:52 PM (zmIJL)

386 375 >>Dude must confuse the hell out of phrenologists.

I bet it's a pretty accurate representation of what's going on inside.
Posted by: JackStraw

cranio-sacral massage would be a bitch.

Posted by: nurse ratched at January 16, 2019 06:52 PM (d7Ww2)

387 That guy ought to cut it out before he ends up on Botched.
Posted by: wth at January 16, 2019 06:47 PM (v0R5T)

My wife watches that show. People are fucked up.

Posted by: DR.WTF at January 16, 2019 06:49 PM (T71PA)
...........

And they love to fuck themselves up.

Posted by: wth at January 16, 2019 06:52 PM (v0R5T)

388 We're being geaced by the presence of a new(?) troll who is jealous that CM and NL are beloved members of the internet's most awesome community while he got kicked out of his community college's anime club for excessive masturbation during meetings.

Posted by: Broseidon Czar of the Brocean at January 16, 2019 06:52 PM (v5wjt)

389 Anyway, any good sales at the mall in Asheville?
Posted by: Miklos
-----------

The entire thing: http://tinyurl.com/y8dllnhq

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at January 16, 2019 06:52 PM (Ou6XS)

390 Tinfoil hats don't work with this dude.

Posted by: JuJuBee, just generally being shamey at January 16, 2019 06:53 PM (zmIJL)

391 Whoa, NaughtyPine! Hello there. Haven't seen you around in a bit, how are things?

Posted by: hogmartin at January 16, 2019 06:53 PM (t+qrx)

392 I wonder if his head attracts lightning.

Posted by: wth at January 16, 2019 06:53 PM (v0R5T)

393 I read a story with an interesting take on the shutdown today. Seems that if these useless Federal workers are furloughed over 30 days, they can be terminated, like when Reagan fired the striking air traffic controllers.

We'll prolly get additional trolls if that happens.

Gird your loins!

Posted by: ALH at January 16, 2019 06:55 PM (/Z/Su)

394 Alright, someone beat me to retrophrenology.

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at January 16, 2019 06:56 PM (5fNnO)

395 nood

Posted by: ALH at January 16, 2019 06:58 PM (/Z/Su)

396 Are those earrings or is he doing the thing with stretching his earlobes and sticking disks into them?

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at January 16, 2019 07:02 PM (/qEW2)

397 Bill? Bill Schmalfeldt? So tell me, is it really a dry heat?

Posted by: WarEagle82 at January 16, 2019 09:11 PM (+Kpte)

398
ace,

ROFLMFAO!

Too much, man. Too damn much.
Love it!

Posted by: Cold Civil War at January 16, 2019 09:16 PM (Z2PYk)

399 "Where are the Human women at?"

Posted by: Kristophr at January 16, 2019 09:41 PM (5xMO4)

400 I wonder what finishing school he went to...

Posted by: model_1066 at January 16, 2019 11:37 PM (WYOU8)

401 Bernie voter...wants to date Bernie. Make Bernie his gurl.

Posted by: torabora at January 16, 2019 11:37 PM (Q1UO3)

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