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Garage Engineer Builds Glitter/Stink Bomb "Bait" Package to Get Vengeance Against Thieves

I find this unsatisfying because it appears no action was taken to actually get the thieves arrested. It's treated as if they were just mischief makers, and deserve mischief in return.

They don't. They deserve an arrest.

Still, it's all pretty ingenious.

If you're interested in his other big viral invention -- the dartboard that calculates the exact trajectory of the dart you've thrown and moves itself to score you a bullseye every time -- it's here.

This is an interesting video too -- debunking a totally fake video of a supposed two-propeller flying case for a cell phone, and then building a real live working one.

Posted by: Ace of Spades at 02:52 PM




Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 1

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at December 18, 2018 02:51 PM (GBteo)

2 The v2.0 with half a pound of C4 and ball-bearings will be fun, too.

Posted by: David Gillies at December 18, 2018 02:51 PM (Jipp3)

3 and i read the content.

Now time to watch the video.

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at December 18, 2018 02:51 PM (GBteo)

4
I agree with Ace.

This kind of hijinks is not appropriate for criminals.

Posted by: Soothsayer -- Fake Commenter at December 18, 2018 02:51 PM (kyzbF)

5 A stinkbomb would have been better.

Posted by: steevy at December 18, 2018 02:52 PM (BXMxN)

6 Neal Boortz used to package dog poop and wrap it nicely and leave it on the seat of his unlocked car every Christmas.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 18, 2018 02:52 PM (ptqGC)

7
AIDS woulda been better.

Posted by: Soothsayer -- Fake Commenter at December 18, 2018 02:53 PM (kyzbF)

8 >>AIDS woulda been better.


It's the gift that keeps on giving throughout the entire year.

Posted by: garrett at December 18, 2018 02:54 PM (KU8BG)

9 A stinkbomb would have been better.
Posted by: steevy



It sprayed synthetic fart every 30 seconds.

Posted by: rickb223 at December 18, 2018 02:54 PM (xzezz)

10 We watched this last night at my house. My preferance would have been for shrapnel grenade.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at December 18, 2018 02:54 PM (oVJmc)

11 The v2.0 with half a pound of C4 and ball-bearings will be fun, too.


Flame Fougasse.

Posted by: Grump928(C) at December 18, 2018 02:54 PM (bwqT/)

12 Let's piss off a criminal and leave him out on the street right when he's maddest.

Posted by: DaveA at December 18, 2018 02:55 PM (FhXTo)

13 IHOP has vowed not to advertise on Tucker Carlson

Posted by: Getwokegobroke at December 18, 2018 02:55 PM (y0RKM)

14 Pit with pungee sticks works just as well.

Posted by: josephistan at December 18, 2018 02:55 PM (7HtZB)

15 why all the work of a glitter bomb?


just shoot them!

Posted by: practical homeowner at December 18, 2018 02:55 PM (UsCnO)

16 IHOP has vowed not to advertise on Tucker Carlson


What about IHOB?

Posted by: Grump928(C) at December 18, 2018 02:55 PM (bwqT/)

17

Extremely sharp clear plastic fragments covered with HIV and dog shit... have fun debriding THAT!

Posted by: In Vino Veritits at December 18, 2018 02:55 PM (rr4fE)

18 13 IHOP has vowed not to advertise on Tucker Carlson
Posted by: Getwokegobroke at December 18, 2018 02:55 PM (y0RKM)

Well I guess I'll have to continue to not eat there.

Posted by: josephistan at December 18, 2018 02:56 PM (7HtZB)

19 Glitter stink bomb. Isn't that really the story of Obama?

Posted by: ... at December 18, 2018 02:56 PM (fJD5I)

20 A stinkbomb would have been better.
Posted by: steevy



It sprayed synthetic fart every 30 seconds.

Posted by: rickb223 at December 18, 2018 02:54 PM (xzezz)

what ever that tar the little dinosaur spit in Jurassic park...

Posted by: SturmToddler at December 18, 2018 02:56 PM (8D42x)

21 >>Pit with pungee sticks works just as well.


Better if the pungee are coated with feces.

Posted by: garrett at December 18, 2018 02:56 PM (KU8BG)

22 Screw IHOP and their leftie masters.


Posted by: LeftCoast Dawg at December 18, 2018 02:56 PM (UsCnO)

23 Tucker says they won't crater to the SJW mob.

We'll see what FOX says about that......

Posted by: Winger at December 18, 2018 02:56 PM (F4u7C)

24 Those aren't package theives, they're undocumented delivery workers.

Posted by: joe, living dangerously at December 18, 2018 02:56 PM (KUaJL)

25 The "victims" all seem to express their frustrations and their need to be rid of the thing... almost too perfectly and conveniently... as if they're all paid actors.

I think the gadget itself is real but the victims are fake.

Posted by: weew at December 18, 2018 02:56 PM (EaEMG)

26 Delivery is great if I am home to receive it, not so much if it sits on the porch for six hours.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - Ho Ho Ho! Red Faced Rants are In at The Outrage Outlet! at December 18, 2018 02:57 PM (hLRSq)

27 I think all the shit he put in that package makes it worth more than anything these two stole.


I can't believe that the cops said that it wasn't worth their time to investigate a recorded theft. WTF?

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at December 18, 2018 02:57 PM (ndSD+)

28 Some companies make enough money that they can piss off half their potential customers & not care.

Posted by: josephistan at December 18, 2018 02:57 PM (7HtZB)

29 Wail til I perfect my Piranha Bomb.

Posted by: Dr Spank at December 18, 2018 02:57 PM (P1AAi)

30 A stinkbomb would have been better.
Posted by: steevy
..............

skunk stink

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at December 18, 2018 02:57 PM (so+oy)

31 IHOP sucks anyway so I can't boycott a place I already avoid.

Posted by: steevy at December 18, 2018 02:58 PM (BXMxN)

32 Two words: Spider Bomb

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 18, 2018 02:58 PM (ptqGC)

33 If you're interested in his other big viral invention -- the dartboard that calculates the exact trajectory of the dart you've thrown and moves itself to score you a bullseye every time

That's sort of pathetic.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at December 18, 2018 02:58 PM (ndSD+)

34 "Get the thieves arrested": He said that when he had previously taken a video of a porch-package-thief to the police, they told him they couldn't do anything. So getting the thieves arrested seems not to be an option--and inspired him to go this route instead.

Posted by: m at December 18, 2018 02:58 PM (Q7mSB)

35 27 I think all the shit he put in that package makes it worth more than anything these two stole.


I can't believe that the cops said that it wasn't worth their time to investigate a recorded theft. WTF?
Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at December 18, 2018 02:57 PM (ndSD+)

Non violent crimes aren't crimes anymore in Boston & other left wing cities. Because racism

Posted by: josephistan at December 18, 2018 02:58 PM (7HtZB)

36 I rate all three as 'cool'

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at December 18, 2018 02:58 PM (xJa6I)

37 IIRC, he created the package because he went to the cops and the cops did nothing to get the people who stole his package.

Vigilantism it is then.

Posted by: alexthechick - Ragebunny. Hopping all around. at December 18, 2018 02:59 PM (mf5HN)

38 Was that smell?

Posted by: JackStraw at December 18, 2018 02:59 PM (/tuJf)

39 "Get the thieves arrested": He said that when he had previously taken a video of a porch-package-thief to the police, they told him they couldn't do anything. So getting the thieves arrested seems not to be an option--and inspired him to go this route instead.
Posted by: m


Instead of glitter bombing, it should have slung liquified cow shit.

Posted by: rickb223 at December 18, 2018 03:00 PM (xzezz)

40 I've been considering putting a metal box and a BoxLock on my porch.

http://bit.ly/2QIgIr7

Posted by: Grump928(C) at December 18, 2018 03:00 PM (bwqT/)

41 isn't it interesting to note the police can't be bothered to actually do anything about this.

Yeah.

Think about that for a minute and let it sink in.

Posted by: DamnedYankee at December 18, 2018 03:00 PM (37IEG)

42 We need flying sharks, with lasers, perched on the roofs.

And they carry electric eels under their fins.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - Ho Ho Ho! Red Faced Rants are In at The Outrage Outlet! at December 18, 2018 03:00 PM (hLRSq)

43 Non violent crimes aren't crimes anymore in Boston & other left wing cities. Because racism

Posted by: josephistan at December 18, 2018 02:58 PM (7HtZB)


If it came via the USPS (even just as a hand-off) then it's a federal crime.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at December 18, 2018 03:00 PM (ndSD+)

44 'As seen on Shark Tank!'

Posted by: Grump928(C) at December 18, 2018 03:00 PM (bwqT/)

45 IIRC, he created the package because he went to the cops and the cops did nothing to get the people who stole his package.

Vigilantism it is then.
Posted by: alexthechick - Ragebunny. Hopping all around.


Expect much more of this. Except with less glitter. And probably more blood.

Posted by: Brother Cavil at December 18, 2018 03:00 PM (AM1GF)

46 Rumor has it that there are rats in most IHOP kitchens.

It is only a rumor.


What is this item on the menu, "furry sausage?"


Posted by: LeftCoast Dawg at December 18, 2018 03:01 PM (UsCnO)

47 I expect someone will sue him for getting glitter in their eyes.

Posted by: m at December 18, 2018 03:01 PM (Q7mSB)

48 I've been considering putting a metal box and a BoxLock on my porch.

http://bit.ly/2QIgIr7
Posted by: Grump928


Don't forget the pit bull that goes in the box.

Posted by: rickb223 at December 18, 2018 03:01 PM (xzezz)

49 I wonder if a small thermobaric device would be practical at that size?

Posted by: Brother Cavil at December 18, 2018 03:01 PM (AM1GF)

50 But if the thief was injured by the glitter bomb, boy howdy would the police take an interest....in the "bomb" maker.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 18, 2018 03:02 PM (ptqGC)

51 howdy yall!

how's the Horde?

Posted by: nurse ratched at December 18, 2018 03:02 PM (d7Ww2)

52 I expect someone will sue him for getting glitter in their eyes.

Posted by: m at December 18, 2018 03:01 PM (Q7mSB)


Yep. They'll end up getting his house in the settlement.

Because that's the sort of society we have fallen to ...

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at December 18, 2018 03:02 PM (ndSD+)

53 What is this item on the menu, "furry sausage?"
Posted by: LeftCoast Dawg


By and large, furries are inedible. Which is for the best.

Posted by: Brother Cavil at December 18, 2018 03:02 PM (AM1GF)

54 The cops do nothing.

Posted by: steevy at December 18, 2018 03:02 PM (BXMxN)

55 I believe the vids are shot in the San Francisco Bay Area. Thanks to Props 47/57 that passed a few years back, thefts and car break-ins have shot up astronomically..

Combined with over-crowding, stretched-thin police forces and extra liberal local politics, the police won't do anything if you're a victim of theft. This is the norm out here.

Posted by: other joe_mama at December 18, 2018 03:02 PM (9j5yw)

56 They collect revenue.

Posted by: steevy at December 18, 2018 03:03 PM (BXMxN)

57 I wonder if a small thermobaric thermite device would be practical at that size?
Posted by: Brother Cavil



Fixed for accuracy.

Burn a hole all the way thru the car.

Posted by: rickb223 at December 18, 2018 03:03 PM (xzezz)

58
But if the thief was injured by the glitter bomb, boy howdy would the police take an interest....in the "bomb" maker.
Posted by: Jane D'oh


Under certain circumstances it would be considered a "hate crime."

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at December 18, 2018 03:03 PM (aKsyK)

59 I believe the vids are shot in the San Francisco Bay Area. Thanks to Props 47/57 that passed a few years back, thefts and car break-ins have shot up astronomically..

Combined with over-crowding, stretched-thin police forces and extra liberal local politics, the police won't do anything if you're a victim of theft. This is the norm out here.

Posted by: other joe_mama at December 18, 2018 03:02 PM (9j5yw)


10:1 this guy voted for the people who support all this crap, too.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at December 18, 2018 03:03 PM (ndSD+)

60 Just wanted to point out for those who have already left the last thread.

This woman wound up as a personal assistant to Jeffrey Epstien. You know what that means.

I see this article as a limited hang-out exercise. Trying to get ahead of some upcoming news.

"Open and thoughtful, Engelhardt unspools a life story that took root in a strict German immigrant household and blossomed into a Zelig-esque series of adventures as she attempted to break into modeling: partying with Iman, jet-setting with Adnan Khashoggi, dining with Stephen King, working as a personal assistant to Jeffrey Epstein, the billionaire financier later convicted for soliciting an underage girl. Following her time with Allen, she went on to become a platonic muse to Federico Fellini during the auteur's late-life journeys in Rome and Tulum, Mexico, then spent years tending to egos as a hostess in the executive dining room at Paramount before landing her current gig, working as an assistant for producer Bob Evans. What's made her attractive to these powerful men, both personally and professionally, she posits, is in part what Allen appreciated in the first place: "I was pretty enough, I was smart enough, I was nonconfrontational, I was non-judgmental, I was discreet, and nothing shocks me."

Posted by: Options at December 18, 2018 03:04 PM (pAtdo)

61

What's the latest fake outrage regarding Tucker?

Is it the remark that illegals make our country "dirtier?"

Posted by: Soothsayer -- Fake Commenter at December 18, 2018 03:04 PM (kyzbF)

62 25 The "victims" all seem to express their frustrations and their need to be rid of the thing... almost too perfectly and conveniently... as if they're all paid actors.

I think the gadget itself is real but the victims are fake.
Posted by: weew at December 18, 2018 02:56 PM (EaEMG)

I don't think so, but I don't have proof. But it clear that he edited the examples, so you could imagine that he kept the ones that seemed to illustrate his point best.

Posted by: m at December 18, 2018 03:04 PM (Q7mSB)

63 Snake bombs just to be sure.

Posted by: Cheri at December 18, 2018 03:04 PM (G+Wff)

64 The front door trap from the movie The Book of Eli.

Posted by: davidt at December 18, 2018 03:05 PM (jGvbj)

65 fart spray! cool!

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at December 18, 2018 03:05 PM (so+oy)

66 Fart Spray. Stuff I learn about here. Stocking Stuffers?

Posted by: Puddin Head at December 18, 2018 03:06 PM (2LelM)

67 I'm surprised any conservative gets any ad revenue at allat this point.We are unpeople.

Posted by: steevy at December 18, 2018 03:06 PM (BXMxN)

68 34 "Get the thieves arrested": He said that when he had previously taken a video of a porch-package-thief to the police, they told him they couldn't do anything. So getting the thieves arrested seems not to be an option--and inspired him to go this route instead.
Posted by: m at December 18, 2018 02:58 PM (Q7mSB)

A few years ago, several of us in my building had packages stolen over a few week period. We also had video of the package thief. It was the same kid. He seemed to be following the delivery truck.

My landlord showed the video the cops.

They said they'd "look in to it."

Never heard anything further.

Personally, I find these kind of crimes to be way more of a quality of life issue for me then people rolling through stop signs or not wearing a seatbelt or whatever other "crimes" the cops spend of their time pursuing, but whatever.

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at December 18, 2018 03:06 PM (GBteo)

69 Cops are truly useless.

Person on video stealing something and showing clearly they do it to a lot of people? Yawn.

Driving 5mph over the speed limit? Let's throw the book at them.

Small government doesn't exclude the military and law enforcement. Most every bureaucrat is useless.

Posted by: Blago at December 18, 2018 03:06 PM (UfkIY)

70 oh, I see.

farts and bombs.


carry on!

Posted by: nurse ratched at December 18, 2018 03:06 PM (d7Ww2)

71

"Never hurt or injure a criminal trying to do harm to you. Always kill them."
-- Shih Tzu
All You Need To Know About Self-Defense & the Law

Posted by: Soothsayer -- Fake Commenter at December 18, 2018 03:06 PM (kyzbF)

72 Fart Spray. Stuff I learn about here. Stocking Stuffers?
Posted by: Puddin Head


Mounted properly so when they reach in the stocking, yeah.

Posted by: rickb223 at December 18, 2018 03:06 PM (xzezz)

73 SCIENCE!


(Just providing the traditional responses.)

Posted by: joncelli, providing the traditional responses at December 18, 2018 03:06 PM (RD7QR)

74 Im all for the speady thing to spead radioactive asbestos powder. Maybe anthrax. Fuck thieves.

Posted by: Usntakim profoundly deplorable at December 18, 2018 03:07 PM (0OmEj)

75 The thieves certainly do deserve to be arrested, but the cops won't do it.

As the guy says in the video, he took a videotape of the first porch thief to the cops. You can see the woman on the tape, clearly stealing the package from his front porch, but the cops refused to do anything. Said it wasn't worth their time.

The thieves know this, and they take advantage of it. They also know that most state's laws don't let people use much force against property thieves. So property owners are left with no real remedy when people come onto their land to steal their stuff. They can't (legally) shoot the thieves, even if they catch them in the act, and if they videotape the thieves in the act, the cops won't do anything about it.

Posted by: TrivialPursuer at December 18, 2018 03:07 PM (fqUgw)

76 Fart spray is best paured with rubber turds.Some guy made one of my sixth grade teachers cry with that combo...

Posted by: steevy at December 18, 2018 03:07 PM (BXMxN)

77 Thanks to California's Proposition 47, which passed in 2016 and is now in the running for Worst Statewide Proposition Ever Passed in the United States, thieves and criminals in California basically get no punishment whatsoever, even if they get caught red-handed and are convicted. Prop 47 states that if a thief only ends up stealing something valued (in sum) $1250 or less, then the "punishment" is at maximum a small fine and a warning, with ZERO jail time. The judge has no discretion in the matter -- state law states that theft under $1250 is a minor misdemeanor, the equivalent of a parking ticket or jaywalking.

The result, at least in the Bay Area (and probably all over California) is an explosion of "petty" crimes, since not only do thieves know there is no downside as getting caught leads to no punishment, but also that the same thieves get caught, get fined, steal again, get caught, get fined, steal again, get caught, get fined, etc. ad nauseam. All it takes is a few shameless criminals now to create a nonstop crime wave.

The stories around here would boggle your mind. One guy in SF has been caught red-handed and arrested and convicted of auto burglary (breaking into cars) SEVENTEEN TIMES in 2018 so far, and each time he gets a fine and is let go -- no jail time! And within hours he breaks in to another car. He's been caught 17 times, but he's probably robbed hundreds of cars, taking into account all the times he wasn't caught. And since each theft is under $1250 in value, the cops and prosecutors have no power to punish him or constrain him in any way. Oh, and did I mention that HE NEVER PAYS HIS FINES? They just keep piling up, and there's no mechanism for punishing him for nonpayment either.

And he's just one guy -- San Francisco and every other city has countless other petty criminals with similar stories.

Citizen vigilanteism will soon escalate beyond glitter bombs, I predict.

Posted by: zombie at December 18, 2018 03:07 PM (c+2jX)

78
Personally, I find these kind of crimes to be way more of a quality of life issue for me then people rolling through stop signs or not wearing a seatbelt or whatever other "crimes" the cops spend of their time pursuing, but whatever.
Posted by: Harry Paratestes


They can't make any money catching thieves.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at December 18, 2018 03:07 PM (aKsyK)

79 >>Cops are truly useless.


Anyone who works for a Union is essentially useless.

Posted by: garrett at December 18, 2018 03:07 PM (KU8BG)

80
"Two men can keep a secret...when one of them is dead."
-- Shih Tzu, Basic Knowledge, Vol I

Posted by: Soothsayer -- Fake Commenter at December 18, 2018 03:07 PM (kyzbF)

81 You can buy Fart Spray on Amazon. Its from a company called Liquid Ass.

Posted by: Puddin Head at December 18, 2018 03:08 PM (2LelM)

82 Look up squatter's "rights" - your own home can be stolen & it's not a crime in most cities, just a civil matter.

Posted by: josephistan at December 18, 2018 03:08 PM (7HtZB)

83 40 I've been considering putting a metal box and a BoxLock on my porch.

http://bit.ly/2QIgIr7

Posted by: Grump928(C) at December 18, 2018 03:00 PM (bwqT/)


Our delivery chimps can't be bothered to ring the doorbell, even when it's raining (we have no covering on our porch, so packages get soaked). Sometimes they don't even make it up all five of the stairs to our door.
There's no way in hell a lockbox would get used, let alone properly.

Posted by: redsweater at December 18, 2018 03:08 PM (4LOJk)

84 Closest I have done to this was when my older brother was pilfering cash from my dresser.

I bought the biggest commercially available rat trap I could find - this sucker could've killed Chuck E. Cheese.

Then I put it in the drawer with a nakie over it, and a $10 bill on top. That shit straight up broke his hand. Right across the palm, all the metacarpals.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at December 18, 2018 03:08 PM (AzW6q)

85 Its from a company called Liquid Ass.
========

This is about me, isn't it?

*shaaaart*

*hic*

Posted by: Hillary at December 18, 2018 03:09 PM (vg8iE)

86 nakie? should be "hankie"

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at December 18, 2018 03:09 PM (AzW6q)

87 My cousin saw an obvious shoplifter herein NJ.Told the cashier "oh we know,they do it all the time,the cops don't do anything"

Posted by: steevy at December 18, 2018 03:09 PM (BXMxN)

88 I'm just glad I don't live in this guys neighborhood. He seems to have packages stolen off his front porch on a regular basis.

Posted by: JackStraw at December 18, 2018 03:09 PM (/tuJf)

89 Just let the person walk right out.

Posted by: steevy at December 18, 2018 03:09 PM (BXMxN)

90 77 Citizen vigilanteism will soon escalate beyond glitter bombs, I predict.
Posted by: zombie at December 18, 2018 03:07 PM (c+2jX)

Once the "We're gonna have to start shooting people" Pandora's Box is opened...

Posted by: Hikaru at December 18, 2018 03:10 PM (UnA8+)

91 If one were cynical, one might think about the revenue aspects of pursuing certain crimes over others to governments.

Theft like this, well the government will have to give the property back and warehouse the wrong-doer.

Speeding. Fines. Sweet, cold hard cash for the government.

Drugs? Seizure of property and money, which then go into coffers.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 18, 2018 03:10 PM (ycWCI)

92 It should just take a picture and send a message to the cops with the location.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at December 18, 2018 03:10 PM (1ISKN)

93 They cut thieves hands off in Saudi Arabia. Like I said, muslims are preferable to Marxists.

Posted by: josephistan at December 18, 2018 03:10 PM (7HtZB)

94 Kind a like what Trump is doing with the Wall. Sounds to be like he's folding again.

So- no wall and today the ATF passes a Bump-Stock Ban which will be a template for future anti Second Amendment subversion. That's Trumps's only Second Amendment accomplishment.

Sounds like we're done winning.

Posted by: Marcus T at December 18, 2018 03:10 PM (VpIIl)

95

I have much insight and wisdom on how to do "things."

But I cannot share online.

Let me put it this way: No one will ever invade, much less "squat" in my home.

Posted by: Soothsayer -- Fake Commenter at December 18, 2018 03:10 PM (kyzbF)

96 Bark loudly when your bowl is empty.

Posted by: Shih Tzu at December 18, 2018 03:11 PM (NBiK1)

97 That made me laugh.

Posted by: Blake - tis the season for grinching at December 18, 2018 03:11 PM (IlV2p)

98 I'm just glad I don't live in this guys neighborhood. He seems to have packages stolen off his front porch on a regular basis.
Posted by: JackStraw


Porch piracy happens everywhere.

Posted by: rickb223 at December 18, 2018 03:11 PM (xzezz)

99 They can't make any money catching thieves.
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at December 18, 2018 03:07 PM (aKsyK)

I seriously think that's what it is.

It takes 10 minutes and minimal effort to give someone a ticket for failure to come to a complete stop at a stop sign, and yields the town $150 or whatever in ticket revenue.

Tracking down package thieves? That would take more time and probably not yield any revenue at all.

So the cops focus on bothering people going to work and trying to beat traffic and not on the people stealing packages from those people while they're at work.

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at December 18, 2018 03:11 PM (GBteo)

100 84 Closest I have done to this was when my older brother was pilfering cash from my dresser.

I bought the biggest commercially available rat trap I could find - this sucker could've killed Chuck E. Cheese.

Then I put it in the drawer with a nakie over it, and a $10 bill on top. That shit straight up broke his hand. Right across the palm, all the metacarpals.
Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at December 18, 2018 03:08 PM (AzW6q)

Jeez!

Posted by: m at December 18, 2018 03:11 PM (Q7mSB)

101 I am so glad I live in a small town.

Posted by: SMH at December 18, 2018 03:11 PM (XGA3u)

102 Only suckers pay for stuff.

Posted by: nip at December 18, 2018 03:11 PM (DfGpI)

103 Let me put it this way: No one will ever invade, much less "squat" in my home.

Posted by: Soothsayer -- Fake Commenter at December 18, 2018 03:10 PM (kyzbF)

-------

My ex-FIL used a 12ga alarm system on his front door...

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at December 18, 2018 03:11 PM (AzW6q)

104 Couldn't you put anti-gay tracts in the box, then report that the thieves were passing out hate literature in your neighborhood?

Posted by: Kate Winslet's boobs at December 18, 2018 03:12 PM (SunNf)

105 I'm too lazy to implement but I have considered offering dog or horse poo boxes for folks that have had porch pirates in their area. A poo box rigged to fling contents when opened would be even better, but that would really require effort plus the mechanisms to fling the poo.

As a practical matter I believe UPS stores will receive packages for a small fee for folks that live in hives of scum and villainy.

Posted by: paleRider at December 18, 2018 03:12 PM (eASYU)

106 @94

Yep, today was not a good day.

Posted by: Kreplach at December 18, 2018 03:12 PM (qxq6t)

107 >>Porch piracy happens everywhere.

I'm a fairly regular Amazon customer. It's never happened once to me.

Posted by: JackStraw at December 18, 2018 03:12 PM (/tuJf)

108 So here is my thoughts. You combine a can of fart spray with your Wasp spray and Bic Lighter. Once you blind your target with Wasp spray, what eats their eyes, but before you light them on fire, you spray them with fart spray, cuz, you have fart spray. Then you employ the BIC lighter and what them go all Buddhist Monk Flambé. Am I right?

Posted by: Puddin Head at December 18, 2018 03:12 PM (2LelM)

109 77 Thanks to California's Proposition 47, which passed in 2016 and is now in the running for Worst Statewide Proposition Ever Passed in the United States, thieves and criminals in California basically get no punishment whatsoever, even if they get caught red-handed and are convicted. Prop 47 states that if a thief only ends up stealing something valued (in sum) $1250 or less, then the "punishment" is at maximum a small fine and a warning, with ZERO jail time. The judge has no discretion in the matter -- state law states that theft under $1250 is a minor misdemeanor, the equivalent of a parking ticket or jaywalking.

The result, at least in the Bay Area (and probably all over California) is an explosion of "petty" crimes, since not only do thieves know there is no downside as getting caught leads to no punishment, but also that the same thieves get caught, get fined, steal again, get caught, get fined, steal again, get caught, get fined, etc. ad nauseam. All it takes is a few shameless criminals now to create a nonstop crime wave.

The stories around here would boggle your mind. One guy in SF has been caught red-handed and arrested and convicted of auto burglary (breaking into cars) SEVENTEEN TIMES in 2018 so far, and each time he gets a fine and is let go -- no jail time! And within hours he breaks in to another car. He's been caught 17 times, but he's probably robbed hundreds of cars, taking into account all the times he wasn't caught. And since each theft is under $1250 in value, the cops and prosecutors have no power to punish him or constrain him in any way. Oh, and did I mention that HE NEVER PAYS HIS FINES? They just keep piling up, and there's no mechanism for punishing him for nonpayment either.

And he's just one guy -- San Francisco and every other city has countless other petty criminals with similar stories.

Citizen vigilanteism will soon escalate beyond glitter bombs, I predict.
Posted by: zombie at December 18, 2018 03:07 PM (c+2jX)



I do remember the Commiecrat crocodile tears in favor of Proposition 47: "Waaaaaah! No one should get 25 to life for stealing pizza!" Never mind that as Zombie points out, that is invariably the tip of a much larger criminal iceberg.

Moreover, you can steal many *firearms* and be under $1,250.00

Posted by: Curmudgeon at December 18, 2018 03:13 PM (ujg0T)

110
I've been toying with the Alfred app.

Alfred app utilizes old phones (with cameras) as live security cams which can be monitored via the app.

You need wifi. It's a "free" app, but there are ads, you can pay monthly to get rid of the ads.

Posted by: Soothsayer -- Fake Commenter at December 18, 2018 03:13 PM (kyzbF)

111 No one will ever invade, much less "squat" in my home.

Posted by: Soothsayer -- Fake Commenter at D




so, no indoor plumbing?

Posted by: yankeefifth at December 18, 2018 03:13 PM (MTjB1)

112 If you're interested in his other big viral invention -- the dartboard that calculates the exact trajectory of the dart you've thrown and moves itself to score you a bullseye every time

That's sort of pathetic.

-
Clinton darts.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at December 18, 2018 03:13 PM (+y/Ru)

113 I'm a fairly regular Amazon customer. It's never happened once to me.
Posted by: JackStraw at December 18, 2018 03:12 PM (/tuJf)

It only happened to me personally once. And I was home when the package was delivered. But it used to happen a lot in my old neighborhood.

From my landlords video recording system, it looked to be the same kid every time.

Where I live now, I've never had it happen. But my neighbor has more than once.

I don't know how common it is, but I bet Amazon does.

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at December 18, 2018 03:14 PM (GBteo)

114 98 I'm just glad I don't live in this guys neighborhood. He seems to have packages stolen off his front porch on a regular basis.
Posted by: JackStraw


Porch piracy happens everywhere.
Posted by: rickb223 at December 18, 2018 03:11 PM (xzezz)

===========

We had a package on our porch for 3 days and it was still there when we got back home yesterday.

I was very pleasantly surprised.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, If you've read and enjoyed any of my works, please leave a review on Amazon. at December 18, 2018 03:14 PM (q8oeS)

115 "Our delivery chimps can't be bothered to ring the doorbell, even when it's raining (we have no covering on our porch, so packages get soaked). Sometimes they don't even make it up all five of the stairs to our door."


Things like this are why I do not jump on the "have everything delivered" bandwagon.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - Ho Ho Ho! Red Faced Rants are In at The Outrage Outlet! at December 18, 2018 03:14 PM (hLRSq)

116 I worry about porch pirates, 'cause my lazy ass has my groceries delivered. If they come - I'll be eating out of cans, jars and the freezer. And I'll probably rig the next one to catch fire.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at December 18, 2018 03:14 PM (AzW6q)

117 so how many of those thieves were whitey and asians stealing from the man?

Posted by: yankeefifth at December 18, 2018 03:15 PM (MTjB1)

118 If you're a Porch Pirate in my neck of the woods you better be Superman or able to outrun a schutzhund with a VF rating.

Posted by: Marcus T at December 18, 2018 03:15 PM (VpIIl)

119 Bark loudly when your bowl is empty.
Posted by: Shih Tzu at December 18, 2018 03:11 PM


Tap the bell when you want another treat.

Posted by: The kitten at December 18, 2018 03:15 PM (ctuyM)

120 Citizen vigilanteism will soon escalate beyond glitter bombs, I predict.
Posted by: zombie at December 18, 2018 03:07 PM (c+2jX)
------------

I guarantee you this glitter bomb in CA will get someone sued at some point.

People are just going to start shooting and when the cops ask, "I was in fear for my life, I want my lawyer."

Posted by: Blake - tis the season for grinching at December 18, 2018 03:15 PM (IlV2p)

121 82 Look up squatter's "rights" - your own home can be stolen & it's not a crime in most cities, just a civil matter.
Posted by: josephistan at December 18, 2018 03:08 PM (7HtZB)
----------

Otherwise known as Adverse Possession.

A bit of advise, don't let your neighbor maintain any part of your property because you think he's being nice or you don't care about it.

Posted by: WisRich at December 18, 2018 03:16 PM (G0vdT)

122 y5,

From the video, a few.

Posted by: SMH at December 18, 2018 03:16 PM (XGA3u)

123
I couldn't post this vid yesterday on the reptilian thread, so here it is.
I'd have thought it was digitally manipulated except for how she quickly blinks and turns her head to the other guy after her eyes went reptile:

https://tinyurl.com/y7hctgvh

Posted by: kallisto at December 18, 2018 03:16 PM (DJFLF)

124 simple solution for people stealing your deliveries, doorman.

Posted by: yankeefifth at December 18, 2018 03:16 PM (MTjB1)

125 Moreover, you can steal many *firearms* and be under $1,250.00
Posted by: Curmudgeon at December 18, 2018 03:13 PM (ujg0T)

I think stealing firearms carry a big kicker.

But like Ricky talks about on trailer park boys -- as long as it's "Theft under $1000," the cops don't care.

So if you're criminally minded... why risk jail time by doing one big, expensive, and potentially risky theft, when you can do a bunch of small ones and no one will ever look in to it?

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at December 18, 2018 03:16 PM (GBteo)

126 That vid made my day. And it needed making.

Posted by: Muad'dib at December 18, 2018 03:16 PM (sjdRT)

127 Tap the bell when you want another treat.
Posted by: The kitten at December 18, 2018 03:15 PM (ctuyM)


Those two were playing for keeps.

Posted by: JayDubWalker at December 18, 2018 03:17 PM (YHze/)

128

You don't injure criminals.
But always warn them. And make sure you tell the police you warned them BECAUSE YOU WERE SCARED FOR YOUR LIFE.

And you thought the criminal had a knife or a gun or was going to use it. Make sure you say that.

Posted by: Soothsayer -- Fake Commenter at December 18, 2018 03:17 PM (kyzbF)

129 From the video, a few.
Posted by: SMH at D



thanks. too lazy to watch the whole thing.

Posted by: yankeefifth at December 18, 2018 03:17 PM (MTjB1)

130 I don't know how common it is, but I bet Amazon does.
Posted by: Harry Paratestes

_____________

I've never had it happen, but I know someone in the delivery business in my state (AZ) and it's a very big issue in even upscale neighborhoods.

I'm sure police could stop it if they took it seriously, but they won't.

I bet more than half of police activity is traffic violations.

Posted by: Blago at December 18, 2018 03:17 PM (UfkIY)

131 yeah, cops that won't bother arresting thieves? There is hard evidence, easy arrest ... they are not that flucking busy ... arrest a few and put them on the news so the shiit stops.


That one woman had a nice house ... all upset that she stole a glitter bomb ... like "how dare they".

Posted by: illiniwek at December 18, 2018 03:17 PM (Cus5s)

132 91 If one were cynical, one might think about the revenue aspects of pursuing certain crimes over others to governments.

Theft like this, well the government will have to give the property back and warehouse the wrong-doer.

Speeding. Fines. Sweet, cold hard cash for the government.

Drugs? Seizure of property and money, which then go into coffers.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 18, 2018 03:10 PM (ycWCI)



Victor Davis Hanson had a whole series of essays about this, where illegal aliens had their impromptu roadside stands, illegal roadside garbage dumps, and squatter tents, none of which were ever busted by the police, who were too busy setting up speed traps and environmental regulations for middle class people to be caught.

Posted by: Curmudgeon at December 18, 2018 03:17 PM (ujg0T)

133 USPS might as well use chimps. The humans they have are largely useless.

Posted by: Marcus T at December 18, 2018 03:17 PM (VpIIl)

134 Then I put it in the drawer with a nakie over it, and a $10 bill on top. That shit straight up broke his hand. Right across the palm, all the metacarpals.
Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at December 18, 2018 03:08 PM (AzW6q)

Jeez!
Posted by: m


If it ain't yours, don't take it.
If it ain't true, don't say it.
If it ain't right, don't do it.

Posted by: rickb223 at December 18, 2018 03:17 PM (xzezz)

135 1- Someone selling these things as revenge weapons can seriously make some cash

2- Next time, modify it to spray the AIDS virus. To hades with these people

Posted by: Traddy at December 18, 2018 03:17 PM (GSJcT)

136 Its interesting that most of the people doing this look to be fairly well off.

They are being taken by homeless people, but by people driving fairly nice or new cars.

And living in fairly nice places.

Breakdown of the social contract... they are not even doing it out of need.

Posted by: Don Q at December 18, 2018 03:17 PM (NgKpN)

137 I recently saw a video of a dog taking a package off of a porch.

Fart spray would only increase dog thieves.

Posted by: Cheri at December 18, 2018 03:18 PM (G+Wff)

138 Posted by: Don Q at December 18, 2018 03:17 PM (NgKpN)

sorry... meant NOT being taken by homeless people.

Posted by: Don Q at December 18, 2018 03:18 PM (NgKpN)

139 Or even that unwashable dye the banks put into their decoy packs. Or pepper spray....something more than an inconvenience

Posted by: Traddy at December 18, 2018 03:18 PM (GSJcT)

140 Monica Crowley has it correct.

The judge accused Flynn of being a traitor, even though the judge later came back to clarify, you can't unring that fucking bell.

What a clown show.

Posted by: Kreplach at December 18, 2018 03:18 PM (qxq6t)

141 A bit of advise, don't let your neighbor maintain any part of your property because you think he's being nice or you don't care about it.
Posted by: WisRich at December 18, 2018 03:16 PM (G0vdT)

--------

LOL. This happens on a large scale in the county where I grew up.

It's a poor county, with one nice middle-class neighborhood that supplies 78% of county tax revenues. It borders a neighboring (super-rich) county that would love to steal the neighborhood.

During the winter, the Sheriff's office has to patrol the neighborhood constantly, to turn back the other county's snowplows - since if they plow it enough times, they can claim it.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at December 18, 2018 03:19 PM (AzW6q)

142
"In self-defense, if your life is worth one bullet, surely it is worth two."
--Shih Tzu

Posted by: Soothsayer -- Fake Commenter at December 18, 2018 03:19 PM (kyzbF)

143 121 121 82 Look up squatter's "rights" - your own home can be stolen & it's not a crime in most cities, just a civil matter.
Posted by: josephistan at December 18, 2018 03:08 PM (7HtZB)
----------

Otherwise known as Adverse Possession.

A bit of advise, don't let your neighbor maintain any part of your property because you think he's being nice or you don't care about it.
Posted by: WisRich at December 18, 2018 03:16 PM (G0vdT)

My father's new next-door neighbor, the first thing they did after they bought the house was immediately put up fencing. Likely trying to see if they can shift off a few feet of property and see if everyone will be too "don't rock the boat" to complain about it.

Posted by: Hikaru at December 18, 2018 03:19 PM (UnA8+)

144 125 Moreover, you can steal many *firearms* and be under $1,250.00
Posted by: Curmudgeon at December 18, 2018 03:13 PM (ujg0T)

I think stealing firearms carry a big kicker.

But like Ricky talks about on trailer park boys -- as long as it's "Theft under $1000," the cops don't care.

So if you're criminally minded... why risk jail time by doing one big, expensive, and potentially risky theft, when you can do a bunch of small ones and no one will ever look in to it?
Posted by: Harry Paratestes at December 18, 2018 03:16 PM (GBteo)

Or just be a minority teenager.

My shit stain Guatamalen teenage neighbor broke into my house, stole my Xbox 360, several guns and movies. He got sentenced to HOMEWORK. He had to write a fucking essay. No jail time.

It's the closest so far that I've gotten to going full Punisher. I still don't know if I did the right thing by calling the cops, I'm inclined to 'no', based on the results.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at December 18, 2018 03:19 PM (xJa6I)

145 paint would be better than glitter ... or bleach ...

Posted by: illiniwek at December 18, 2018 03:20 PM (Cus5s)

146 First, it will be vigilantism by individuals.

Then, they band together, or hire "private security".

Eventually the State will sense the threat and act against the citizens trying to ensure their own safety.

And that's when the Troubles begin in earnest.

Posted by: Brother Cavil at December 18, 2018 03:20 PM (AM1GF)

147 117 so how many of those thieves were whitey and asians stealing from the man?
Posted by: yankeefifth at December 18, 2018 03:15 PM (MTjB1)



The Commiecrats will punish you for badthink with that one!

Posted by: Curmudgeon at December 18, 2018 03:20 PM (ujg0T)

148 My version would probably be lethal

Posted by: Skip at December 18, 2018 03:20 PM (/rm4P)

149 Can we do this with Social Security Numbers?

Posted by: Puddin Head at December 18, 2018 03:20 PM (2LelM)

150 107 >>Porch piracy happens everywhere.

I'm a fairly regular Amazon customer. It's never happened once to me.


me, too. 'course, by now everyone in town has no doubt figured out how boring i am.

Posted by: Anachronda at December 18, 2018 03:20 PM (NmR1a)

151 Anarcho tyranny.
The norms are preyed upon by the thugs from below and preyed upon by the gov't above.
Gov't doing its ONE FUCKING JOB (protect norms from thugs) = risk + cost.
Govt preying on norms = no risk + revenue.
UNtil the burning times.

Posted by: butch at December 18, 2018 03:21 PM (hXu8T)

152 Follow the money. No revenue in spending time looking for porch pirates and much more money in traffic fines, DUI's, etc.

Posted by: Cheri at December 18, 2018 03:21 PM (G+Wff)

153 148 My version would probably be lethal
Posted by: Skip at December 18, 2018 03:20 PM (/rm4P)

---

Yours too?

Posted by: SMH at December 18, 2018 03:22 PM (XGA3u)

154 Still, it's all pretty ingenious.
Ingenious is the word. He covered all bases: glitter, smell, recording. Smart guy.

Posted by: kallisto at December 18, 2018 03:22 PM (DJFLF)

155 141 During the winter, the Sheriff's office has to patrol the neighborhood constantly, to turn back the other county's snowplows - since if they plow it enough times, they can claim it.

maybe you folks should build a wall.

Posted by: Anachronda at December 18, 2018 03:22 PM (xGZ+b)

156 124 simple solution for people stealing your deliveries, doorman.
Posted by: yankeefifth at December 18, 2018 03:16 PM (MTjB1)

Yankee on 5th Avenue?

Posted by: m at December 18, 2018 03:22 PM (Q7mSB)

157 117
so how many of those thieves were whitey and asians stealing from the man?

Posted by: yankeefifth at December 18, 2018 03:15 PM (MTjB1)
Interesting - 2 of the 'walkers' were whitey. So does that mean they got their fat asses into a car and parked it and walked around looking, or better yet, do they live in his neighborhood?

Posted by: DamnedYankee at December 18, 2018 03:23 PM (37IEG)

158 That one woman had a nice house ... all upset that she stole a glitter bomb ... like "how dare they".
Posted by: illiniwek at December 18, 2018 03:17 PM (Cus5s)

-----------------

Had a guy busted for breaking into cars in our neighborhood. He was driving a decent late model car and tried to claim he was breaking into cars because he was out of work. Out of work yet was able to buy enough gasoline to get to our side our town? Yeah, pull the other one.

Posted by: Blake - tis the season for grinching at December 18, 2018 03:23 PM (IlV2p)

159
Re: police today

I was just wondering the other day if the Police even trying to talk to the perps, anymore.

What happened to trying to de-escalate the situation? Today it's all about a car chase, screaming "get down! get down!" and then BLAM BLAM BLAM twenty times.

Posted by: Soothsayer -- Fake Commenter at December 18, 2018 03:23 PM (kyzbF)

160 140 Monica Crowley has it correct.

The judge accused Flynn of being a traitor, even though the judge later came back to clarify, you can't unring that fucking bell.

What a clown show.
--------------------
The judge was goading Flynn to see how much Mueller has squeezed him. The fact that Flynn didn't rise to the bait is because Mueller is squeezing his family - likely his son. This is the first thing you learn in Hostage Taking at Quantico.

Posted by: Puddin Head at December 18, 2018 03:23 PM (2LelM)

161 If the police are uninterested in doing anything about people taking packages, he should have booby trapped it with acid, or perhaps a bit of shrapnel, or burning grease. After all, if they don't care about the one, why care about the other.

After watching it, I don't think they suffered enough, given all the effort that was put into making the thing.

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at December 18, 2018 03:23 PM (/qEW2)

162
My shit stain Guatamalen teenage neighbor broke into my house, stole my Xbox 360, several guns and movies. He got sentenced to HOMEWORK. He had to write a fucking essay. No jail time.

It's the closest so far that I've gotten to going full Punisher. I still don't know if I did the right thing by calling the cops, I'm inclined to 'no', based on the results.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at December 18, 2018 03:19 PM (xJa6I)

should have called ice

Posted by: Ministry of Cultural Enrichment at December 18, 2018 03:23 PM (bU9e3)

163 Interesting - 2 of the 'walkers' were whitey. So does that mean they got their fat asses into a car and parked it and walked around looking, or better yet, do they live in his neighborhood?
Posted by: DamnedYankee

___________

I'm willing to bet good money there was some reverse affirmative action in who the guy decided to present the videos to balance things out.

Posted by: Blago at December 18, 2018 03:24 PM (UfkIY)

164 153
148 My version would probably be lethal

Posted by: Skip at December 18, 2018 03:20 PM (/rm4P)



---



Yours too?

Posted by: SMH at December 18, 2018 03:22 PM (XGA3u)
Well, you know, if the cops can't bother to investigate the theft, it's not a crime. So anything that results from the crime that wasn't committed, can't be a crime, right?

Posted by: DamnedYankee at December 18, 2018 03:24 PM (37IEG)

165 Instead of the spinny cup to deploy the glitter, a charge from a Co2 cylinder would really give the dispersion that extra oomph that says "I care".

Oh, wait. Let's not use just a basic Co2 cartridge.

We can use a small can of Bear Spray as the propellant, and really send that super special extra oomph that says "FUCK YOU, THEIVING ASSWIPE!"



Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim at December 18, 2018 03:24 PM (QzJWU)

166
A gotcha device needs to lop off a hand ... or two.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at December 18, 2018 03:24 PM (MLfDH)

167 Yankee on 5th Avenue?
Posted by: m at D


interesting

Posted by: yankeefifth at December 18, 2018 03:24 PM (MTjB1)

168 Porch piracy happens everywhere.

I'm a fairly regular Amazon customer. It's never happened once to me.

me, too. 'course, by now everyone in town has no doubt figured out how boring i am.
Posted by: Anachronda


Go to Facebook. Search porch piracy. Spend the afternoon watching videos of porch pirates.

Posted by: rickb223 at December 18, 2018 03:25 PM (xzezz)

169 Re: IHOP. Guess its time to call the health department again.

Posted by: The Poster Formerly Known as Mr. Barky at December 18, 2018 03:25 PM (hKi6n)

170
There's always the three S's.







Shoot.







Shovel.






Shutup.

Posted by: fixerupper at December 18, 2018 03:25 PM (8XRCm)

171 A gotcha device needs to lop off a hand ... or two.
Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at December 18, 2018 03:24 PM (MLfDH)

-------

See me @ 84.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at December 18, 2018 03:25 PM (AzW6q)

172 Well, at least he helped the thieves become almost as FABULOUS as he was.

Posted by: 18-1 at December 18, 2018 03:25 PM (cRkMZ)

173 Wire up a claymore and market the damned thing.

Posted by: Puddin Head at December 18, 2018 03:25 PM (2LelM)

174 Horde consensus seems to be settling on S-mines.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at December 18, 2018 03:25 PM (ycWCI)

175 After watching it, I don't think they suffered enough, given all the effort that was put into making the thing.
Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at December 18, 2018 03:23 PM (/qEW2)

---

Yep...

*flips through counter IED manual*

Posted by: SMH at December 18, 2018 03:25 PM (XGA3u)

176 The fact that Flynn didn't rise to the bait is because Mueller is squeezing his family - likely his son. This is the first thing you learn in Hostage Taking at Quantico.
Posted by: Puddin Head at December 18, 2018 03:23 PM (2LelM)

I frankly wonder if the FBI has threatened Flynn with his son getting Arkancided, not just getting indicted

Posted by: Votermom at December 18, 2018 03:25 PM (YW0te)

177 this is sorta a "first world problem", but not for those in better neighborhoods. It is a pain for the "blue collar" neighborhoods, or those close to bad neighborhoods. Paul Ryan doesn't have this problem, he has a wall .... and iron gates ... (actually Ryan with security, probably doesn't get direct deliveries, but ... the protected class don't deal with this shit, so they don't care)

Posted by: illiniwek at December 18, 2018 03:26 PM (Cus5s)

178 Banana Republic.

Posted by: Sponge at December 18, 2018 03:26 PM (F4u7C)

179 @160

I cannot even begin to describe my disgust at the situation we find ourselves in.


I'm losing my ability to feel compassion for those involved up to and including the President.


What is going on is outrageous and is becoming more intolerable by the minute.

Posted by: Kreplach at December 18, 2018 03:26 PM (qxq6t)

180 He should have made it fling glitter and wet dog shit. Or maybe a dead animal parts that have been blended down and left to "tenderize" for a couple of days.
There's a smell that doesn't go away.

Posted by: DamnedYankee at December 18, 2018 03:26 PM (37IEG)

181 should have called ice
Posted by: Ministry of Cultural Enrichment at December 18, 2018 03:23 PM (bU9e3)

----

Man, that wigger cant even stand up to Shug.

Posted by: fixerupper at December 18, 2018 03:26 PM (8XRCm)

182 Why shovel? Just dump the carcass along a road. Sooner or later the garbage guys will phone it in.

Posted by: Puddin Head at December 18, 2018 03:27 PM (2LelM)

183 149 Can we do this with Social Security Numbers?
Posted by: Puddin Head at December 18, 2018 03:20 PM (2LelM)

Can we do what with SSN?

Posted by: m at December 18, 2018 03:27 PM (Q7mSB)

184 I like the way you think, Jim.

Posted by: SMH at December 18, 2018 03:27 PM (XGA3u)

185 he should replace the fart gas with some gas the incapacitates the long enough for him to get to them and make a citizens arrest while administering a hickory shampoo.

Posted by: yankeefifth at December 18, 2018 03:27 PM (MTjB1)

186 The Police: Not worth our time to arrest someone for stealing Amazon packages
Also the Police: We totally need to assign staff to ticket people for going 1 MPH over the speed limit. What happens if we let people think they can violate the law with impunity???

Posted by: 18-1 at December 18, 2018 03:27 PM (cRkMZ)

187 144
My shit stain Guatamalen teenage neighbor broke into my house, stole my Xbox 360, several guns and movies. He got sentenced to HOMEWORK. He had to write a fucking essay. No jail time.

It's the closest so far that I've gotten to going full Punisher. I still don't know if I did the right thing by calling the cops, I'm inclined to 'no', based on the results.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at December 18, 2018 03:19 PM (xJa6I)

============

I now imagine you sitting in your house, all the lights off, a loaded handgun in one hand, and a smoldering cigarette in the other, as you wait for that next break in.

Posted by: TheJamesMadison, If you've read and enjoyed any of my works, please leave a review on Amazon. at December 18, 2018 03:27 PM (q8oeS)

188 I frankly wonder if the FBI has threatened Flynn with his son getting Arkancided, not just getting indicted
Posted by: Votermom at December 18, 2018 03:25 PM (YW0te)

--------

Yeah... it's like that kid in Chicago running against the machine Boss alderman. He scored a victory against their fraud machine in court, and remains on the ballot.

But if he actually looks like he's gonna win, he's dead. I hope he knows that.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at December 18, 2018 03:27 PM (AzW6q)

189 170
There's always the three S's.
Shoot.
Shovel.
Shutup.
Posted by: fixerupper at December 18, 2018 03:25 PM (8XRCm)



Out in the countryside or with at least a few acres around you, sure and awesome.

In a zone of single family homes and little yards, or worse, townhouses next to each other, not so easy.

Posted by: Curmudgeon at December 18, 2018 03:27 PM (ujg0T)

190 Go to Facebook. Search porch piracy. Spend the afternoon watching videos of porch pirates.

Posted by: rickb223 at December 18, 2018 03:25 PM (xzezz)


I'm surprised that lawyers haven't argued that packages on porches are "attractive nuisances", yet, and got settlements in favor of the thieves.

This country has lost almost all respect for private property. Sad, because almost all individual liberties flow from private property rights.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at December 18, 2018 03:27 PM (ndSD+)

191 Why shovel? Just dump the carcass along a road. Sooner or later the garbage guys will phone it in.

***

Get a bigger amazon box.

Put the corpse in the box.

Put the box on your door step.

Wait.

Never have another porch thief again.

Posted by: 18-1 at December 18, 2018 03:28 PM (cRkMZ)

192 My version would probably be lethal
Posted by: Skip at December 18, 2018 03:20 PM (/rm4P)

---

Yours too?
Posted by: SMH


This IS the Horde after all.

Posted by: rickb223 at December 18, 2018 03:28 PM (xzezz)

193 24 Those aren't package theives, they're undocumented delivery workers.
Posted by: joe, living dangerously at December 18, 2018 02:56 PM (KUaJL)


And they're just redistributing packages.

H8ters.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at December 18, 2018 03:28 PM (pz2C4)

194 I was also unsatifying and wonder if some if not all of the package-plucks were staged.

If not, someone knows Ms. Exceedingly Crappy decor and ifMECD is not an actress, that someone will tell the world who she is, and police might be shamed into action.

The police should be shamed anyway... if not staged, the police really ought to have been pointed at her GPS coordinates and the video recordings from start to finish, and their inaction used to point out how letting theft from people's homes go unpunished necessarily leads to risk of vigilante action, whether benign or dangerous.

Posted by: SarahW at December 18, 2018 03:28 PM (g1vnC)

195 57 I wonder if a small thermobaric thermite device would be practical at that size?
Posted by: Brother Cavil



Fixed for accuracy.

Burn a hole all the way thru the car.
Posted by: rickb223 at December 18, 2018 03:03 PM (xzezz)


Well, a small termobaric device would make the thief's car resemble that old toy, the Crashmobile.

Posted by: Iron Mike Golf at December 18, 2018 03:28 PM (di1hb)

196
I welcome a home invasion.

My Pimp Hand is Strong. Even at Christmas time.

Posted by: Soothsayer -- Fake Commenter at December 18, 2018 03:28 PM (kyzbF)

197 It's been a long time since even small town cops tried to solve property crimes rather than just filing the report. What they do now is try, when they pick up someone for something else, to either recover the stolen items from their residence and close a file, or get them to confess to crimes as part of a plea deal and close files that way.

Posted by: Grump928(C) at December 18, 2018 03:29 PM (bwqT/)

198 Kreplach,

I've passed disgust miles back.

I'm at the point where I no longer even care what happens at this point.

Posted by: SMH at December 18, 2018 03:29 PM (XGA3u)

199 There is a broken window theory that allowing petty crime leads to much more serious crime.

I'm sure people graduate on to bigger and better once they get a taste for this. Especially since likely 9 out of 10 times, this pays very little.

Even being a car thief pays very little, I was reading where the price someone gets for stealing a car is just a few hundred dollars.

Posted by: Blago at December 18, 2018 03:29 PM (UfkIY)

200 Make a box "bomb" that will start playing Obama's speeches at 110 decibels and can't be turned down or off.

Posted by: Roy at December 18, 2018 03:29 PM (9rXxD)

201 176 The fact that Flynn didn't rise to the bait is because Mueller is squeezing his family - likely his son. This is the first thing you learn in Hostage Taking at Quantico.
Posted by: Puddin Head at December 18, 2018 03:23 PM (2LelM)

I frankly wonder if the FBI has threatened Flynn with his son getting Arkancided, not just getting indicted
-----------------
Mueller isn't stupid enough to make it between Flynn and Mueller. Mueller knows exactly how that would work out. Thus another loved one has to be in jeopardy. This is our FBI. Or Stasi, Gestapo, KGB....

Posted by: Puddin Head at December 18, 2018 03:29 PM (2LelM)

202 I just looked it up. Will you be surprised to learn that the author of Proposition 47 was none other than (ta-da!) Kamala Harris. And she gave it the Orwellian Newspeak eumpemism title "The Safe Neighborhoods and Schools Act."

Posted by: zombie at December 18, 2018 03:29 PM (c+2jX)

203 Out in the countryside or with at least a few acres around you, sure and awesome.

In a zone of single family homes and little yards, or worse, townhouses next to each other, not so easy.
Posted by: Curmudgeon


That's why you bury them in your neighbors' yard.

Posted by: rickb223 at December 18, 2018 03:29 PM (xzezz)

204 I frankly wonder if the FBI has threatened Flynn with his son getting Arkancided, not just getting indicted

___

That's crazy talk.

Hey, did I spill something on the back of my coat? I suddenly feel something wet back there.

/thump

Posted by: Seth Rich at December 18, 2018 03:29 PM (cRkMZ)

205 This guy went to a lot of trouble and the video rocks.

I did read somewhere about a guy who had this happen to him so he filled the packages with excrement (can't remember if it was dog or human) and waited.

Of course, he didn't get to watch the reaction of the thief, but imagining it would be fun too.

Lots less time and effort...well, I guess it depends on what kind of excrement. LOL

Posted by: Charlotte the sailor at December 18, 2018 03:30 PM (lGLBx)

206 164 Well, you know, if the cops can't bother to investigate the theft, it's not a crime. So anything that results from the crime that wasn't committed, can't be a crime, right?
Posted by: DamnedYankee at December 18, 2018 03:24 PM (37IEG)

Hmm.
IANAL, but bzzzzt.

Posted by: m at December 18, 2018 03:30 PM (Q7mSB)

207 he should fill it with incriminating evidence from all the murders he has committed then call the cops when someone takes it.

Posted by: yankeefifth at December 18, 2018 03:30 PM (MTjB1)

208 These scumbags are ruining Christmas

Posted by: Regular joe at December 18, 2018 03:30 PM (cZlKA)

209
At 5:30 am the cocksucking police around here are lying-in-wait looking for working people who are speeding.

Posted by: Soothsayer -- Fake Commenter at December 18, 2018 03:30 PM (kyzbF)

210 And they're just redistributing packages.



H8ters.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at December 18, 2018 03:28 PM (pz2C4)
He's right, it's not fair that some people get packages and others don't. We need to empanel a, uh, panel, to review this and determine if rich white people are getting more packages from Amazon than other people of less means and different color!
Package delivery needs to be fair!

Posted by: Loopey Ozcrazyo. at December 18, 2018 03:31 PM (37IEG)

211 I'm starting to think about boxing my garbage in nice boxes with shipping labels and firing my garbage service. Do you think this would work?

Posted by: Puddin Head at December 18, 2018 03:31 PM (2LelM)

212 I think in northern climates, an automated porch water cannon would work well to slow down these box thefts around this time of the year.

Posted by: Roy at December 18, 2018 03:31 PM (9rXxD)

213
140 Monica Crowley has it correct.
The judge accused Flynn of being a traitor, even though the judge later came back to clarify, you can't unring that fucking bell.

That's disappointing coming from Monica. If Flynn pleads guilty he is admitting to being a traitor. The Judge was just letting Flynn know he doesn't have to abide by Mueller's sentencing memo and if he goes ahead and pleads guilty he might be facing serious jail time.

Posted by: Flawless Male Logic at December 18, 2018 03:31 PM (TAmPV)

214 So, are IHOP and Pacific Life boycotting Morning Joe too? Or is an intentionally insulting "buttboy" of a specific person not the same as an accurate "dirtier" leveled at a group of, well, dirty, accustomed-to-littering, people? I remember when Jimmy Kimmell shot hidden video of an illegal crapping in a planter at the mall, so I guess he's out too?

Posted by: Farmer Bob at December 18, 2018 03:31 PM (Y24LV)

215
Meanwhile, while I'm at work, the scum are out in the neighborhoods breaking in houses.

Posted by: Soothsayer -- Fake Commenter at December 18, 2018 03:31 PM (kyzbF)

216 On a side note, it's an amusing video, but I hate that we are basically pretending this is all fun and games.

Someone that goes around stealing from probably hundreds of people deserves serious prison time.

This isn't a kid stealing a candy bar.

Posted by: Blago at December 18, 2018 03:31 PM (UfkIY)

217 It's the closest so far that I've gotten to going full Punisher. I still
don't know if I did the right thing by calling the cops, I'm inclined
to 'no', based on the results.

***

Shoulda told the cops you were gay and you heard your neighbor make disparaging remarks about your boyfriend.


In a courtroom later: I hereby sentence you to the maximum allowed for your horrible hate crime!

Posted by: 18-1 at December 18, 2018 03:32 PM (cRkMZ)

218 88 I'm just glad I don't live in this guys neighborhood. He seems to have packages stolen off his front porch on a regular basis.
Posted by: JackStraw at December 18, 2018 03:09 PM (/tuJf)


Yeah. I don't think I've ever had a package stolen off my porch.

Posted by: rickl at December 18, 2018 03:32 PM (xjiRE)

219 There was a similar story here several months ago. Package thieves and the guy put out a box that discharged pepper spray or something, and filmed the idiot running away.

If the state can't be relied upon to protect people from thugs, we need to go back to militias. This is kind of a step in that direction.

Or ... if you arranged to have it shipped FedEx, you can arrange a delivery time window or go to the hub to pick it up.

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at December 18, 2018 03:32 PM (/qEW2)

220 Do harm to a thief and it's *your* ass in trouble.

Posted by: davidt at December 18, 2018 03:33 PM (jGvbj)

221 I hate that we are basically pretending this is all fun and games.

-------

Yeah... and if you do something like this you could find out otherwise. For instance if one of these people happens to be a gangbanger who doesn't like gettin' dissed.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at December 18, 2018 03:33 PM (AzW6q)

222 well, we got obamacare first, which redsitributed income.

now we have obamakwanza, which redistributes gifts.

Posted by: yankeefifth at December 18, 2018 03:33 PM (MTjB1)

223 Hmm.

IANAL, but bzzzzt.

Posted by: m at December 18, 2018 03:30 PM (Q7mSB)

Fine! It's a crime if some white conservative does it. Not a crime otherwise.
Okay? Sheesh, the legal system in this country is so complicated!

Posted by: DamnedYankee at December 18, 2018 03:33 PM (37IEG)

224
If the state can't be relied upon to protect people from thugs, we
need to go back to militias. This is kind of a step in that direction.

***

More and more you need a militia to protect you FROM the state.


The government stopped protecting you from anything, let alone itself, some time ago.

Posted by: 18-1 at December 18, 2018 03:33 PM (cRkMZ)

225 Only checked the EMT so not sure of threads today but Powerline is saying McSally is the new senator from Arizona .

Posted by: Skip at December 18, 2018 03:33 PM (/rm4P)

226 I've never had anything stolen, but I suppose that's because I'm a Melanin-Enhanced Criminal-American.

Posted by: Hikaru at December 18, 2018 03:33 PM (UnA8+)

227
Hint to porch thieves: do not try to steal parcels with the words "Front Toward Enemy" on them.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at December 18, 2018 03:34 PM (LsBY9)

228 Closest I have done to this was when my older brother was pilfering cash from my dresser.

I bought the biggest commercially available rat trap I could find - this sucker could've killed Chuck E. Cheese.

Then I put it in the drawer with a nakie over it, and a $10 bill on
top. That shit straight up broke his hand. Right across the palm, all
the metacarpals.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at December 18, 2018 03:08 PM (AzW6q)


I find that both horrifying and kind of hilarious at the same time.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 18, 2018 03:34 PM (ptqGC)

229 187 144
My shit stain Guatamalen teenage neighbor broke into my house, stole my Xbox 360, several guns and movies. He got sentenced to HOMEWORK. He had to write a fucking essay. No jail time.

It's the closest so far that I've gotten to going full Punisher. I still don't know if I did the right thing by calling the cops, I'm inclined to 'no', based on the results.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at December 18, 2018 03:19 PM (xJa6I)

============

I now imagine you sitting in your house, all the lights off, a loaded handgun in one hand, and a smoldering cigarette in the other, as you wait for that next break in.
Posted by: TheJamesMadison, If you've read and enjoyed any of my works, please leave a review on Amazon. at December 18, 2018 03:27 PM (q8oeS)

Well I don't smoke but otherwise, pretty close.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, buy ammo at December 18, 2018 03:34 PM (xJa6I)

230 apparently this is a real problem. i don't shop online very much, but for people who do they should make or install some kind of package receptacle that can receive packages with a one-way tamper-proof opening.

Posted by: musical jolly chimp at December 18, 2018 03:34 PM (Pg+x7)

231 Or ... if you arranged to have it shipped FedEx, you can arrange a delivery time window or go to the hub to pick it up.
Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear


Then they can cut their shipping prices.

I'm paying to have it delivered.

Posted by: rickb223 at December 18, 2018 03:34 PM (xzezz)

232 I agree with this guy's glitter-bomb concept, with ONE alteration: The "fart smell" canister should be a spray-can filled with Sarin.

Have the thieves' agonizing deaths on pay-per-view, and the bomb pays for itself!

Posted by: zombie at December 18, 2018 03:34 PM (c+2jX)

233 If Flynn pleads guilty he is admitting to being a traitor. The Judge was just letting Flynn know he doesn't have to abide by Mueller's sentencing memo and if he goes ahead and pleads guilty he might be facing serious jail time.

Posted by: Flawless Male Logic at December 18, 2018 03:31 PM (TAmPV)


Talking to the Russian ambassador as part of the incoming administration is nothing even remotely close to treason. It's not even a crime.

He pled guilty to lying to the FBI about the meeting.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at December 18, 2018 03:34 PM (ndSD+)

234 hey guys, just to clarify -- you can't actually booby trap your house. Like, legally.

It would be very problematic if someone was injured.

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at December 18, 2018 03:35 PM (GBteo)

235 Today is so wonderful! I liked the video,

Posted by: Gritty at December 18, 2018 03:35 PM (nID3z)

236 202 I just looked it up. Will you be surprised to learn that the author of Proposition 47 was none other than (ta-da!) Kamala Harris. And she gave it the Orwellian Newspeak eumpemism title "The Safe Neighborhoods and Schools Act."
Posted by: zombie at December 18, 2018 03:29 PM (c+2jX)



The Commiecrats don't want their constituents locked up and unable to vote. It makes dreadful sense.

I suspect the proposition was ghostwritten by Willie Brown in between his sex orgy sessions with her.

Posted by: Curmudgeon at December 18, 2018 03:35 PM (ujg0T)

237
The most galling thing is THEY get pissed off when glitter goes everywhere.

Unaware self absorbed psychopaths.

Posted by: fixerupper at December 18, 2018 03:35 PM (8XRCm)

238 Jane, what is a nakie?

Posted by: Puddin Head at December 18, 2018 03:35 PM (2LelM)

239 Only checked the EMT so not sure of threads today but Powerline is saying McSally is the new senator from Arizona .
***

What a brilliant decision.

Hey you just lost one of the most winnable Senate races in recent history. You are obviously the person we want trying to defend the seat in 2 years because you have so much experience with losing.

Posted by: 18-1 at December 18, 2018 03:35 PM (cRkMZ)

240 apparently this is a real problem. i don't shop online very much, but for people who do they should make or install some kind of package receptacle that can receive packages with a one-way tamper-proof opening.

Posted by: musical jolly chimp

____________

Yea, I have that for my US Mail as we had our mail stolen once.

Not a bad idea to have a big one for Amazon if this was an ongoing issue.

Posted by: Blago at December 18, 2018 03:35 PM (UfkIY)

241 230 apparently this is a real problem. i don't shop online very much, but for people who do they should make or install some kind of package receptacle that can receive packages with a one-way tamper-proof opening.

Posted by: musical jolly chimp at December 18, 2018 03:34 PM (Pg+x7)

They do sell those.

I have one friend who bought one. I've never asked him if the UPS guy actually uses it though.

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at December 18, 2018 03:35 PM (GBteo)

242 *Rings Bell for New Thread*

Posted by: garrett at December 18, 2018 03:35 PM (444To)

243 were I flynn I would start thinking about my retirement plans in russia, once my country is done fucking me over.

Posted by: yankeefifth at December 18, 2018 03:36 PM (MTjB1)

244 The UPS people here cannot be bothered to ring the doorbell and let you know your package has arrived. At least our porch is covered.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 18, 2018 03:36 PM (ptqGC)

245 Only checked the EMT so not sure of threads today but Powerline is saying McSally is the new senator from Arizona .
***

What a brilliant decision.

Hey you just lost one of the most winnable Senate races in recent history. You are obviously the person we want trying to defend the seat in 2 years because you have so much experience with losing.
Posted by: 18-1

___________

AZ's Governor is a total RINO, we're lucky he didn't appoint Cindy McCain.

Posted by: Blago at December 18, 2018 03:36 PM (UfkIY)

246 But like Ricky talks about on trailer park boys -- as long as it's "Theft under $1000," the cops don't care.

So if you're criminally minded... why risk jail time by doing one big, expensive, and potentially risky theft, when you can do a bunch of small ones and no one will ever look in to it?
Posted by: Harry Paratestes at December 18, 2018 03:16 PM (GBteo)


I could see a thief stealing $1000 worth of stuff and leaving behind, say, $50.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at December 18, 2018 03:36 PM (pz2C4)

247 234 It would be very problematic if someone was injured.
Posted by: Harry Paratestes at December 18, 2018 03:35 PM (GBteo)

Nobody's suggesting injury.

Posted by: Hikaru at December 18, 2018 03:37 PM (UnA8+)

248 Hikaru,

As a fellow citizen with a permanent tan, I too have never had anything stolen from my porch.

In fact, in the small town I live in, I stand out like a raisin in a bowl of oatmeal.

Posted by: SMH at December 18, 2018 03:37 PM (XGA3u)

249 234
hey guys, just to clarify -- you can't actually booby trap your house. Like, legally.



It would be very problematic if someone was injured.

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at December 18, 2018 03:35 PM (GBteo)
Yep, example - fireman who actually do their job and get nailed by the booby trap thing.

Posted by: DamnedYankee at December 18, 2018 03:37 PM (37IEG)

250 "Ha ha ha ha - I glitter-bombed you and it only cost me a couple hundred of so in tech, jokes on youguyzzzz!!!"

Posted by: Lizzy at December 18, 2018 03:37 PM (W+vEI)

251 Injury?

lol

Posted by: SMH at December 18, 2018 03:37 PM (XGA3u)

252 On a side note, it's an amusing video, but I hate that we are basically pretending this is all fun and games.

Someone that goes around stealing from probably hundreds of people deserves serious prison time.

This isn't a kid stealing a candy bar.
Posted by: Blago at December 18, 2018 03:31 PM (UfkIY)

I tend to agree.

If cops cracked down on this kind of thing, I think we'd see a huge reduction in it.

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at December 18, 2018 03:37 PM (GBteo)

253 It would be very problematic if someone was injured.

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at December 18, 2018 03:35 PM (GBteo)



Nobody's suggesting injury.

Posted by: Hikaru at December 18, 2018 03:37 PM (UnA8+)


Dead men tell no tales. The ol' shoot, shovel, and shut up.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at December 18, 2018 03:37 PM (ptqGC)

254 hey guys, just to clarify -- you can't actually booby trap your house. Like, legally.

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at D



no, you are right. you cannot trap the boobies in your house, however you can lure them in and offer significant inducements to get them to stay and let you play with them.

Posted by: yankeefifth at December 18, 2018 03:38 PM (MTjB1)

255 So if you're criminally minded... why risk jail time by doing one
big, expensive, and potentially risky theft, when you can do a bunch of
small ones and no one will ever look in to it?

***


Well, there is the problem that when you rob other poor people you'll run across a politically protected group that will murder the hell out of you for breaking into their car or some other petty theft along those lines.

Posted by: 18-1 at December 18, 2018 03:38 PM (cRkMZ)

256 ... there's now a similar crime called mail fishing. the perp uses a device to grab letters from mail boxes. the checks they find can be washed and rewritten with large amounts. one guy who was caught had made over $500,000.

Posted by: musical jolly chimp at December 18, 2018 03:38 PM (Pg+x7)

257 222 well, we got obamacare first, which redsitributed income.

now we have obamakwanza, which redistributes gifts.
Posted by: yankeefifth at December 18, 2018 03:33 PM (MTjB1)



SAVE this comment.

"ObamaKwanzaa" is a perfect description for these kinds of crimes.

Posted by: Curmudgeon at December 18, 2018 03:38 PM (ujg0T)

258 In fact, in the small town I live in, I stand out like a raisin in a bowl of oatmeal.
Posted by: SMH at December 18, 2018 03:37 PM (XGA3u)

-------

You live in Cali????? Cuz you didnt say "rice".

Posted by: fixerupper at December 18, 2018 03:38 PM (8XRCm)

259 Yep, example - fireman who actually do their job and get nailed by the booby trap thing.
Posted by: DamnedYankee at December 18, 2018 03:37 PM (37IEG)

Yeah, or even criminals.

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at December 18, 2018 03:38 PM (GBteo)

260
202 I just looked it up. Will you be surprised to learn that the author of Proposition 47 was none other than (ta-da!) Kamala Harris. And she gave it the Orwellian Newspeak eumpemism title "The Safe Neighborhoods and Schools Act."
Posted by: zombie at December 18, 2018 03:29 PM (c+2jX)


Was not this part of the plan to knock many crimes most often committed by illegal aliens down to misdemeanors so that ICE would not be informed and deport them, as was required for felonies?

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at December 18, 2018 03:39 PM (MLfDH)

261 Look up squatter's "rights" - your own home can be stolen & it's not a crime in most cities, just a civil matter.


Though it varies from state to state, adverse possession usually has four components: the claimer has to have known that the property wasn't his, he has to make a permanent improvement on it, it has to be done openly, and it has to be done for a certain number of years.

I am not a lawyer and you should take my statement as admissible in court.

Posted by: Grump928(C) at December 18, 2018 03:39 PM (bwqT/)

262 The ol' shoot, shovel, and shut up.

---


Dafuq did I say?

Posted by: fixerupper at December 18, 2018 03:39 PM (8XRCm)

263 Live in southern IL.

Posted by: SMH at December 18, 2018 03:39 PM (XGA3u)

264 Is a glitter-IED a Gaymore Mine??

Posted by: andycanuck at December 18, 2018 03:39 PM (Evws/)

265 LOL y5!

Posted by: SMH at December 18, 2018 03:40 PM (XGA3u)

266
You live in Cali????? Cuz you didnt say "rice".
Posted by: fixerupper at December 18, 2018 03:38 PM (8XRCm)


She's in Illinois, unless I am misremembering.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at December 18, 2018 03:40 PM (MLfDH)

267 If cops cracked down on this kind of thing, I think we'd see a huge reduction in it.
Posted by: Harry Paratestes

_________

Of course, but that involves cops getting out of their cars and doing some real work.

I'd easily wager this becomes billions in property crime over the coming years.

I'm amazed Amazon isn't pressuring local law enforcement, it's going to deter sales in large swaths of the country.

Maybe Trump can get some votes saying he'll get the feds involved since the packages cross state lines.

Posted by: Blago at December 18, 2018 03:40 PM (UfkIY)

268
Talking to the Russian ambassador as part of the incoming administration is nothing even remotely close to treason. It's not even a crime.
He pled guilty to lying to the FBI about the meeting.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at December 18, 2018 03:34 PM (ndSD+)

So why do you plead guilty to something that isn't a crime? Cohn did for leniency on other real crimes he committed.

Posted by: Flawless Male Logic at December 18, 2018 03:40 PM (TAmPV)

269 >>I am not a lawyer and you should take my statement as admissible in court.

One of these things is not like the other.

Posted by: JackStraw at December 18, 2018 03:40 PM (/tuJf)

270 ... The author of Proposition 47 was none other than (ta-da!) Kamala Harris.
And she gave it the Orwellian Newspeak eumpemism title "The Safe
Neighborhoods and Schools Act."


Safe for thieves and illegals. For citizens in California, not so much.

Posted by: Qoheleth at December 18, 2018 03:40 PM (fD23g)

271
Live in southern IL.

Posted by: SMH


Salukis!

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at December 18, 2018 03:40 PM (LsBY9)

272 LOL y5!
Posted by: SMH at D




Posted by: yankeefifth at December 18, 2018 03:40 PM (MTjB1)

273 If cops cracked down on this kind of thing, I think we'd see a huge reduction in it.
Posted by: Harry Paratestes at December 18, 2018 03:37 PM (GBteo)

-------

Two problems with this, as with most crime.

People who tend to do this kind of thing can't/won't pay fines and court costs - so the government has to spend money, rather than make money, to enforce the laws.

People who do this kind of thing might actually be dangerous - meaning the government might face physical risk enforcing the laws.

For most "public servants" laws are only to be enforced when it's safe and profitable.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at December 18, 2018 03:40 PM (AzW6q)

274 I guess if this is a real problem it is time to stop using Amazon and tell them why. Let Bezos figure out how to deal with it.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - Ho Ho Ho! Red Faced Rants are In at The Outrage Outlet! at December 18, 2018 03:40 PM (hLRSq)

275 Posted by: Grump928(C) at December 18, 2018 03:39 PM (bwqT/)

That's about right, yeah -- I think it's "notorious, open, time &hostile"

Or something similar that you can remember with "NOTH" ha

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at December 18, 2018 03:41 PM (GBteo)

276 Live in southern IL.
Posted by: SMH at December 18, 2018 03:39 PM (XGA3u)

-------

Ooooh.

...thats some SERIOUS cracker country. More Confederate Flags there than Mississippi.

First time we drove to my Sisters in Peoria.... my wife says..... Are we going the right direction???

Posted by: fixerupper at December 18, 2018 03:41 PM (8XRCm)

277 264 Is a glitter-IED a Gaymore Mine??
-----------------------
The Fart Spray pretty much nails it.

Posted by: Puddin Head at December 18, 2018 03:41 PM (2LelM)

278 ...thats some SERIOUS cracker country. More Confederate Flags there than Mississippi.

First time we drove to my Sisters in Peoria.... my wife says..... Are we going the right direction???
Posted by: fixerupper at December 18, 2018 03:41 PM (8XRCm)

---

*grins*

Being a vet helps.

Posted by: SMH at December 18, 2018 03:42 PM (XGA3u)

279
254 hey guys, just to clarify -- you can't actually booby trap your house. Like, legally.

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at D


Is surrounding it with a moat well stocked with alligators and piranhas okay?

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at December 18, 2018 03:42 PM (MLfDH)

280 Though it varies from state to state, adverse possession usually has four components: the claimer has to have known that the property wasn't his, he has to make a permanent improvement on it, it has to be done openly, and it has to be done for a certain number of years.

I am not a lawyer and you should take my statement as admissible in court.
Posted by: Grump928(C)

__________

My understand is that in most parts of this country, it's really rare it's ever granted.

Posted by: Blago at December 18, 2018 03:42 PM (UfkIY)

281 Yep, example - fireman who actually do their job and get nailed by the booby trap thing.

Posted by: DamnedYankee at December 18, 2018 03:37 PM (37IEG)


I hear that all the time. How many times has anything like that actually happened? And for that tiny, tiny percent (if it even exists) the general property rights of all people are strangled. Great ...

If that were such a huge problem then people could just register with the local fire company not to enter. Let the place burn.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at December 18, 2018 03:42 PM (ndSD+)

282 I'm amazed Amazon isn't pressuring local law enforcement, it's going to deter sales in large swaths of the country.

Maybe Trump can get some votes saying he'll get the feds involved since the packages cross state lines.
Posted by: Blago at December 18, 2018 03:40 PM (UfkIY)

When my Amazon package got stolen, they apologized and overnighted me a replacement.

So it's definitely costing them money.

And yes, I'm also surprised they're not pushing for cops to step up enforcement and/or charging higher rates to ship to zip codes that have higher incidents of this kind of thing and/or saying "no free replacement, it wasn't our fault."

Or something.

I guess they just figure its the cost of doing business.

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at December 18, 2018 03:42 PM (GBteo)

283 The service delivering dummy packages should offer a Fleshlight filled with Candiru.

Posted by: garrett at December 18, 2018 03:43 PM (444To)

284 Being a vet helps.
Posted by: SMH at December 18, 2018 03:42 PM (XGA3u)

----

I love animals too.!!

Posted by: fixerupper at December 18, 2018 03:43 PM (8XRCm)

285 you can't actually booby trap your house.

And crippling injury is not appropriate punishment for petty theft. Even against your brother.

Posted by: DaveA at December 18, 2018 03:43 PM (FhXTo)

286 lol garrett.

Posted by: SMH at December 18, 2018 03:43 PM (XGA3u)

287 while it is illegal to booby trap your house it is perfectly legal to order bear traps from uncleyankeefifth's pre-set bear traps,

you will recognize them when they are delivered to your porch by the famous baby blue box with the white satin ribbon that says "tiffany's."

Posted by: yankeefifth at December 18, 2018 03:44 PM (MTjB1)

288 >>81 You can buy Fart Spray on Amazon. Its from a company called Liquid Ass.

I use that stuff to freshen up my panties.

Posted by: Hillary at December 18, 2018 03:44 PM (Zls+j)

289 Shut the fuck up McCarthy!!


Nothing is going on with Huber!!!!

Posted by: Kreplach at December 18, 2018 03:44 PM (qxq6t)

290 Can we do what with SSN?
Posted by: m at December 18, 2018 03:27 PM


Read Blind Man's Bluff.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at December 18, 2018 03:44 PM (ctuyM)

291 I hear that all the time. How many times has anything like that actually happened? And for that tiny, tiny percent (if it even exists) the general property rights of all people are strangled. Great ...

If that were such a huge problem then people could just register with the local fire company not to enter. Let the place burn.
Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at December 18, 2018 03:42 PM (ndSD+)

There's a lot of case law on this.

Not necessarily even innocent people getting injured.

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at December 18, 2018 03:44 PM (GBteo)

292
dammit

Now I gotta Bing.... "Candiru".....

Posted by: fixerupper at December 18, 2018 03:44 PM (8XRCm)

293 And crippling injury is not appropriate punishment for petty theft. Even against your brother.
Posted by: DaveA at December 18, 2018 03:43 PM (FhXTo)

--------

Hey I told the guy to cut it out about five times. At some point, ya gotta put a stop to it.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at December 18, 2018 03:44 PM (AzW6q)

294 I guess they just figure its the cost of doing business.
Posted by: Harry Paratestes

__________

can you imagine the Twitter brigade when lots of certain ethnicities get rounded up for this kind of crime?

I have a feeling that is pressuring them to just look the other way. Tech monopolists are very sensitive about their image.

Posted by: Blago at December 18, 2018 03:44 PM (UfkIY)

295 So why do you plead guilty to something that isn't a crime? Cohn did for leniency on other real crimes he committed.

Posted by: Flawless Male Logic at December 18, 2018 03:40 PM (TAmPV)


He pled guilty to lying to the FBI. I assume he did it because he was being threatened with more serious bullshit charges and vendettas the feral government would carry out against his family and everyone he ever knew.

The judge calling him a traitor is friggin ridiculous. That judge needs to be tossed off the bench - unceremoniously and harshly. On his head ... which he obviously doesn't really use much.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at December 18, 2018 03:44 PM (ndSD+)

296 >>If that were such a huge problem then people could just register with the local fire company not to enter. Let the place burn.

That might give your insurance company a little heartburn.

As in they would cancel your policy in the blink of an eye.

Posted by: JackStraw at December 18, 2018 03:44 PM (/tuJf)

297 Read Blind Man's Bluff.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at December 18, 2018 03:44 PM


Good book.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at December 18, 2018 03:44 PM (p+Wdc)

298 So, the answer is Amazon-commissioned DEFFSKWADZ?

Because Bezos' political leanings make me think probably not.

Posted by: Hikaru at December 18, 2018 03:44 PM (UnA8+)

299 I wonder what you Enlightenmentists are going to do if the Mueller Stasi and Obama judges help America down the shithole.

Christians already have an out. This world is not our home. We are here as emissaries; we can try to help you out, showing the path to temporal justice and fair-play.

But ultimately, the Christian can be satisfied when the Devil is paid. Because it reaffirms long-delayed rulership over the powers of the Earth.

Posted by: Axeman at December 18, 2018 03:45 PM (vDqXW)

300 If cops cracked down on this kind of thing, I think we'd see a huge reduction in it.
***


Let's suppose your are a cop.

You can either:

Go after "serious crime" - which means the very real chance of being shot, and constant complaints you are rayciss - but at least you feel good about putting seriously bad people away.


Go after middle class crimes - speeding, parking violations, etc. Minimal danger, the "culprits" comply with your commands. No one calls you rayciss.


You can go after low level property theft - you might get physically attacked (because these criminals are painfully stupid), everyone calls you rayciss, and the justice system is just going to let them go with a slap on the wrist anyway.

Is it any surprise cops are jumping to get on these latter types of crime?

Posted by: 18-1 at December 18, 2018 03:45 PM (cRkMZ)

301 Now I gotta Bing.... "Candiru".....
Posted by: fixerupper at December 18, 2018 03:44 PM (8XRCm)

------

Ow.


Now I wish I hadnt.

Posted by: fixerupper at December 18, 2018 03:45 PM (8XRCm)

302 Or something.

I guess they just figure its the cost of doing business.
Posted by: Harry Paratestes


Then it's not costing them enough.

Posted by: rickb223 at December 18, 2018 03:45 PM (xzezz)

303 >>Now I gotta Bing.... "Candiru".....


3rd Baseman for the Brewers from 83-87.

Posted by: garrett at December 18, 2018 03:45 PM (444To)

304

nood

Posted by: Soothsayer -- Fake Commenter at December 18, 2018 03:45 PM (kyzbF)

305
Nothing is going on with Huber!!!!


Huber is Steiner - he will come ...

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at December 18, 2018 03:46 PM (MLfDH)

306 Huber must be an actual unicorn, right?

It's not like he really exists, he is an imaginary figure made up by Sessions, correct?

Posted by: LeftCoast Dawg at December 18, 2018 03:46 PM (UsCnO)

307 The judge calling him a traitor is friggin ridiculous. That judge needs to be tossed off the bench - unceremoniously and harshly. On his head ... which he obviously doesn't really use much.
----------------------
No. Sullivan did this for a reason and then gave Flynn three months to think about things. Who knows what happens in the next couple of months? Worms turn and shit gets unearthed. Sullivan may know things and schedules. One thing for sure Mueller has Flynn by the balls - most likely is targeting Flynn's son.

Posted by: Puddin Head at December 18, 2018 03:47 PM (2LelM)

308 Our local news did have a story about NJ popo working with Amazon, delivering decoy packages with GPS trackers and then arresting folks. I guess if problem is big enough Amazon twists arms to have have arrests made. And was it Amazon that had an option for folks to give them access so they could leave packages behind the locked door?

Posted by: paleRider at December 18, 2018 03:47 PM (eASYU)

309 hey guys, just to clarify -- you can't actually booby trap your house. Like, legally.

It would be very problematic if someone was injured.
Posted by: Harry Paratestes at December 18, 2018 03:35 PM (GBteo)


Heh. Why would it be "problematic"?

The whole point of this is that law enforcement doesn't seem to give a shit. If they all of a sudden decided to, it seems that the fact that they didn't in the past would make a good defense that you had no other alternative.

You really think this guy could get in trouble for his glitter fart bomb? Are you really concerned about legalities or are you concerned about the criminals? If enough people act against this sort of thuggery, then some actual reform might be put into place.

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at December 18, 2018 03:47 PM (/qEW2)

310 Following up:

Trump is running into trouble simply because he tried to break the hold of the powers which control our government--not because he's some virtuous soldier of God.

Daily it seems that the government of America has been seized by a willfulness, that resembles "progressive" politics.

Posted by: Axeman at December 18, 2018 03:48 PM (vDqXW)

311
303 >>Now I gotta Bing.... "Candiru".....

3rd Baseman for the Brewers from 83-87.


oh. i thought it was that reactor in canada used to create radioactive medical compounds.

Posted by: Anachronda at December 18, 2018 03:48 PM (xGZ+b)

312 Huber must be an actual unicorn, right?
--Wait.
WAIT.
WAIT WAIT WAIT
Are you like serious?
Like..
Unicorns don't exist?

Posted by: Alexandra Occasional Cortex at December 18, 2018 03:48 PM (cRkMZ)

313 We have porch pirates where I am, and the extent of the local PD's action is to allow you to post the video evidence of the thieves on their Facebook page. I'm not kidding. One of these incident actually led to an arrest -- by the PD of an adjacent jurisdiction.

I'm thinking what's needed is some sort of radio-frequency gadget, like a transponder or something, that wouldn't go off until it was, say, a hundred yards from my WiFi. That way, it's not me the PD comes to talk to when they investigate how the poor thief go so... disfigured. Anyone care to contribute ideas on how to make such a working device?

Posted by: Qoheleth at December 18, 2018 03:48 PM (fD23g)

314 Is it any surprise cops are jumping to get on these latter types of crime?
Posted by: 18-1

__________

No, but that's not a good excuse.

I'm sure firefighters would rather lift weights all day then run into burning buildings. But they still have to do that if they want to keep their job.

Posted by: Blago at December 18, 2018 03:49 PM (UfkIY)

315 My understand is that in most parts of this country, it's really rare it's ever granted.

Girl928 had some property in WV where the neighbor had built a barn over the line years ago, before she bought it as it turns out, and was able to slice off the land it sat on plus a few feet from her title.

Posted by: Grump928(C) at December 18, 2018 03:49 PM (CXeIv)

316 There's a lot of case law on this.

Not necessarily even innocent people getting injured.

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at December 18, 2018 03:44 PM (GBteo)


I'm talking about the "fireman" canard. How many instances have occurred in this country of firemen actually being hurt because of booby-trapped houses?

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at December 18, 2018 03:49 PM (ndSD+)

317 Is it any surprise cops are jumping to get on these latter types of crime?
Posted by: 18-1 at December 18, 2018 03:45 PM (cRkMZ)

--------

I don't think it's necessarily on the street cops, really. I know the SD where I grew up was under orders from on high to enforce the law for maximum profit. This meant a lot of traffic patrol while people cooked meth in a pretty blatant manner.

And, in that Eric Garner case, for instance, it sounds like the NYPD was under orders to bust the hell out of people for loosies because they were cutting into revenues from NY's extortionate tobacco tax.

Posted by: Yudhishthira's Dice at December 18, 2018 03:49 PM (AzW6q)

318 Somehow Breakfast at uncleyankeefifth's pre-set bear traps doesn't sound like too romantic a movie.

Posted by: andycanuck at December 18, 2018 03:49 PM (Evws/)

319 New one.

Posted by: m at December 18, 2018 03:49 PM (Q7mSB)

320 *Rings Bell for New Thread*
Posted by: garrett at December 18, 2018 03:35 PM


*tweeeeeeet*

Not wearing knit cap. Loss of ding and 5 treat penalty.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at December 18, 2018 03:50 PM (ctuyM)

321 No, but that's not a good excuse.

***

In the aggregate people do what they get rewarded for.

Posted by: 18-1 at December 18, 2018 03:50 PM (cRkMZ)

322 That might give your insurance company a little heartburn.

As in they would cancel your policy in the blink of an eye.

Posted by: JackStraw at December 18, 2018 03:44 PM (/tuJf)


But that's a civil matter between you and your insurance company, not the basis for legislation taking away everyone's private property rights.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at December 18, 2018 03:50 PM (ndSD+)

323 Heh. Why would it be "problematic"?

The whole point of this is that law enforcement doesn't seem to give a shit. If they all of a sudden decided to, it seems that the fact that they didn't in the past would make a good defense that you had no other alternative.

You really think this guy could get in trouble for his glitter fart bomb? Are you really concerned about legalities or are you concerned about the criminals? If enough people act against this sort of thuggery, then some actual reform might be put into place.
Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at December 18, 2018 03:47 PM (/qEW2)


Fart bomb is probably okay.

But, IIRC, you'll generally be both criminally and civilly liable if you injure someone with a trap.

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at December 18, 2018 03:51 PM (GBteo)

324 How do you catch a stripper?
Use a booby-trap!

Posted by: andycanuck at December 18, 2018 03:51 PM (Evws/)

325 Girl928 had some property in WV where the neighbor had built a barn over the line years ago, before she bought it as it turns out, and was able to slice off the land it sat on plus a few feet from her title.
Posted by: Grump928(C)

___________

To me, that almost sounds like why the adverse possessions laws are there.

It's the stories of someone mowing part of your lawn and getting to take it from you that are more the urban legend stuff.

Posted by: Blago at December 18, 2018 03:52 PM (UfkIY)

326 And, in that Eric Garner case, for instance, it sounds like the NYPD was
under orders to bust the hell out of people for loosies because they
were cutting into revenues from NY's extortionate tobacco tax.
***

Can you imagine if the GOPe had used his death to campaign against the use of police for revenue reasons in blue states?

I bet you that only a tiny fraction of the people that heard he was killed by rayciss cops ever heard they real reason the cops were busting him..


But then the GOPe would have to give up doing the same thing in red areas of course...


Posted by: 18-1 at December 18, 2018 03:52 PM (cRkMZ)

327 I'm talking about the "fireman" canard. How many instances have occurred in this country of firemen actually being hurt because of booby-trapped houses?
Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at December 18, 2018 03:49 PM (ndSD+)

I have no idea.

But that kind of thing is probably the public policy reason behind courts being very unforgiving to people who set traps on their property / house against intruders.

Hey man, I didn't make the laws, don't get mad at me ha.

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at December 18, 2018 03:52 PM (GBteo)

328 No. Sullivan did this for a reason and then gave Flynn three months to think about things. Who knows what happens in the next couple of months? Worms turn and shit gets unearthed. Sullivan may know things and schedules. One thing for sure Mueller has Flynn by the balls - most likely is targeting Flynn's son.

Posted by: Puddin Head at December 18, 2018 03:47 PM (2LelM)


Huh?

What do you think Flynn did that could even remotely be called treasonous? Do you really think the judge has some secret knowledge?

The incoming administration talking to foreign counterparts is not treasonous and cannot, in and of itself, ever be in any way close to treasonous. It's not even in the same universe.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at December 18, 2018 03:53 PM (ndSD+)

329 But, IIRC, you'll generally be both criminally and civilly liable if you injure someone with a trap.
Posted by: Harry Paratestes

_________

Plus, what do you think the person is going to do afterwards? He knows where you live.

Don't get me wrong, I'd love for these people to be maimed, I have zero compassion. but I'm not having my family become a target from the wrong criminal.

Posted by: Blago at December 18, 2018 03:54 PM (UfkIY)

330 But, IIRC, you'll generally be both criminally and civilly liable if you injure someone with a trap.

___


That's right officer, I was working on my house and left some yellow caution tape up. Damn shame that porch thief grabbed this hear live electrical wire. Why I never thought someone would do something so....crazy...you know?

Posted by: Some Home Electrician at December 18, 2018 03:54 PM (cRkMZ)

331 It's the stories of someone mowing part of your lawn and getting to take it from you that are more the urban legend stuff.
Posted by: Blago at December 18, 2018 03:52 PM (UfkIY)

It happens, but not often.

There was a situation I was tangentially involved in where a homeowner owned a piece of land that had a big hill. They only maintained up to the hill, the neighbor mowed & maintained a piece of the property at the bottom of the hill for years, and tried to claim it by adverse possession.

I forget how it turned out though. I'm thinking the original home owners got to keep it because their leach fields were "using" that sliver of property by draining in to it or something. But I could be wrong. Like I said, I wasn't super involved.

But either way, both sides had to hire lawyers and spend money to litigate it.

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at December 18, 2018 03:55 PM (GBteo)

332 I caught a porch pirate once.
Red handed.
Cops made me let him go.
Guess where I live?

Posted by: backbeat baby at December 18, 2018 03:55 PM (w7KSn)

333 To me, that almost sounds like why the adverse possessions laws are there.


I agree. And old tracts used to have really vague descriptions rather than nicely surveyed plots. At one time, Mrs928 did lease mapping for a coal company and some of the deeds had descriptions like, ride west on a mule for the length of time it takes to smoke a cigarette.

Try plotting that out for a coal lease.

Posted by: Grump928(C) at December 18, 2018 03:55 PM (CXeIv)

334 Also the Police: We totally need to assign staff to ticket people for going 1 MPH over the speed limit. What happens if we let people think they can violate the law with impunity???

Posted by: 18-1 at December 18, 2018 03:27 PM


Apparently the French installed all sorts of speed capturing devices that the yellow vests are destroying in huge numbers. There's a whole lot of shit going on over there that the American media is not the least bit interested in reporting.

All sorts of blockades of cities, torching of toll booths, speeding ticket stuff getting murderated.

Socialists must have a little bit of fear right now as to if/when it's gonna end.

Posted by: Newest Nic at December 18, 2018 03:57 PM (jYje5)

335 332 I caught a porch pirate once.
Red handed.
Cops made me let him go.
Guess where I live?
Posted by: backbeat baby at December 18, 2018 03:55 PM (w7KSn)

Left coast.

Posted by: m at December 18, 2018 03:58 PM (Q7mSB)

336 Can I make a similar package, but include sharp blades instead of glitter, and actual shit instead of fart spray?

Posted by: Dave G at December 18, 2018 03:58 PM (dUE05)

337 Cops made me let him go.

___

That's right officer he was coming right at me with this kitchen knife like a crazy man. That's when I shot him 20 times. Maybe he was high on PCP or something.

Posted by: Yeah wishful thinking I know at December 18, 2018 03:59 PM (cRkMZ)

338 I agree. And old tracts used to have really vague descriptions rather than nicely surveyed plots. At one time, Mrs928 did lease mapping for a coal company and some of the deeds had descriptions like, ride west on a mule for the length of time it takes to smoke a cigarette.

Try plotting that out for a coal lease.
Posted by: Grump928(C) at December 18, 2018 03:55 PM (CXeIv)

Ha! I read one not to long ago from the 1800's that said something like "turn left at [John Smiths] rock wall for 15 paces, across the path to the big oak tree" or something ridiculous.
As far as I could tell, no one ever clearly staked it after all these years.

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at December 18, 2018 04:01 PM (GBteo)

339

Consider the Emily Ratajkowski Doctrine... if I set a trap in my house and she breaks in, I get to keep her, right?

Posted by: In Vino Veritits at December 18, 2018 04:01 PM (rr4fE)

340 Before I go to the nood, I'd point out that the French don't use ducks as firemen.

Posted by: andycanuck at December 18, 2018 04:02 PM (Evws/)

341 There was a situation I was tangentially involved in where a homeowner owned a piece of land that had a big hill. They only maintained up to the hill, the neighbor mowed & maintained a piece of the property at the bottom of the hill for years, and tried to claim it by adverse possession.

I forget how it turned out though. I'm thinking the original home owners got to keep it because their leach fields were "using" that sliver of property by draining in to it or something. But I could be wrong. Like I said, I wasn't super involved.

But either way, both sides had to hire lawyers and spend money to litigate it.
Posted by: Harry Paratestes

____________

The problem with our legal system is, everybody gets their day in court, but that doesn't mean the law is on their side.

I agree though it's best to take steps to avoid someone even getting near a courthouse.

I was sued for stock I owned by a vendor that was owed money by the company I held stock in. Let that sink in.

Posted by: Blago at December 18, 2018 04:03 PM (UfkIY)

342 I love how one thief has a rosary on his rear view mirror . . .

Posted by: DynamiteDan at December 18, 2018 04:17 PM (MqzWH)

343 Great idea. Now they know where you live, glitter fart boy.

Posted by: doomed at December 18, 2018 04:33 PM (lYZVM)

344
Personally, I find these kind of crimes to be way more of a quality of life issue for me then people rolling through stop signs or not wearing a seatbelt or whatever other "crimes" the cops spend of their time pursuing, but whatever.

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at December 18, 2018 03:06 PM
---------------------------

But those "crimes" bring in the sweet, sweet lucre necessary for many of these same cities to operate.

NYC and Chicago get about ten percent (10%) of their revenues from tickets and fines. Ferguson Missouri got over half (50%+) of their money via cops writing tickets.

You are not citizens, just assets to be shaken down for money.

Posted by: rd at December 18, 2018 04:50 PM (kfj5i)

345 I've had a few things stolen - a piece of jewelry while I was at school in CA and a statue from my porch in my home state. The statue? The cops didn't give a flying pig's eye about it. When I mentioned it during jury duty, the judge laughed like it was funny (newsflash, theft isn't funny to the victims). The jewelry? I was in CA and the school barely investigated - got back to me at graduation and was all, "couldn't find anything," even though they could have narrowed down the suspects vis a vis all the cameras pointed at the bathroom doors and surrounding hallways... and the fact that it was after hours, so probably less than 20 people had opportunity to commit the crime (pretty sure it was either a classmate or the cleaning staff). I didn't go to the police, since I already knew they wouldn't touch it. Might as well not wear jewelry, honestly.

No one gives a damn about private property anymore. After all, we all pay property tax, anyway. Do we truly even have private property in this country?

How to prevent package thieves: get a mailbox with a mail company - either independent or UPS, with staff who will accept your packages. The only issue you may run into is dumbass companies who refuse to ship to you because they think you have a PO box (or they ship using FedEx, who decides a UPS box is the same as a PO box...).

Posted by: soulpile at December 18, 2018 04:52 PM (VTLGo)

346 The Google maps he shows tracking the package are from just north of Chicago - Evanston/Skokie. Very well-to-do, very "progressive" communities, very much overwhelmed from the crime coming up from their neighboring community to the south. :/

Posted by: Katja at December 18, 2018 05:20 PM (5ltQc)

347 WP Grenade would have been much mo funny than the glitter.

Posted by: Burnt Toast at December 18, 2018 06:11 PM (1g7ch)

348 There's a big-ass Federal defense and electronics contractor in Rolling Meadows, IL, not far from his location. So yah, he may have stuff on Mars, too.

Posted by: dad29 at December 18, 2018 07:52 PM (7Kti7)

349 I am sure the location is Skokie, Illinois

Posted by: four seasons at December 18, 2018 09:56 PM (j4sAj)

350 A real bomb would have delivered justice.

Posted by: Ddad99 at December 19, 2018 10:32 AM (ipx1l)

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