The Morning Rant

"Lizzie 'Notaninjun' Warren has own-goaled herself so badly that down in the Twitter sewers, even hardcore progs are saying 'you know, I hate Trump and everything he stands for, but he sure owned Warren.' No Dems will defend her, Republicans are laughing at her, real Native Americans despise her and are telling her to just shut up. And her nascent 2020 presidential campaign is now a flaming pile of wreckage. Which is kind of sad, because she's still delusional enough to think she can take on Trump in 2020 and it would be very entertaining to watch that debacle. Oh, and speaking of national laughingstocks, did you hear the latest about the creepy porn lawyer? According to the L.A. Times, a federal bankruptcy judge issued a restraining order late Wednesday to block the firm of Michael CPL Avenatti, the lawyer for porn star Stormy 'Horseface' Daniels, from spending any fees it collects while it owes more than $10 million in unpaid debts and back taxes. The restraining order covers 54 cases. My question is, why does every one who goes against Trump end up hurting themselves? It's absolutely uncanny. If I were the president, I would be on my knees every night, thanking God that my enemies are so stupid."

Own Goal:

Oops:

Sitting Bull:

She So White:

(h/t 'An Observation')

This Is Probably Racist:

Texas Man > Florida Man?

Posted by: OregonMuse at 11:27 AM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Here is my meme
https://i.___flip.com/2khhpf.jpg

Posted by: An Observation at October 19, 2018 11:25 AM (AUyJx)

2 Alligator win.

Posted by: klaftern at October 19, 2018 11:26 AM (RuIsu)

3 What was Texas man's blood alcohol level?

Posted by: IC, now with extra super elite at October 19, 2018 11:27 AM (a0IVu)

4 Warren is such a joke.

Posted by: Nick in Tallahassee at October 19, 2018 11:27 AM (wGbBR)

5 I guess the alligator got the last laugh

Posted by: Hollyweird anti- Disney princess brigade at October 19, 2018 11:27 AM (O2RFr)

6 th

Posted by: Off the reservation at October 19, 2018 11:27 AM (vWMNq)

7 Texas man?

Posted by: Grump928(C) at October 19, 2018 11:27 AM (CwrxC)

8 That guy sure showed that damn alligator, huh?

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at October 19, 2018 11:28 AM (so+oy)

9 Wow that's devastating news. According to a Reuters report, Thursday afternoon Senator Elizabeth Warren (D-Mass.) suffered a mild mosquito bite and is no longer Native American.

Posted by: Bilwis, Devourer of Low Glycemic Souls at October 19, 2018 11:28 AM (jp0Bv)

10 Texas Man and Florida Man should fight.

Posted by: What's a Seawolf? at October 19, 2018 11:28 AM (72PAC)

11 In Texas, alligator f*cks YOU!

Posted by: fly gal at October 19, 2018 11:28 AM (8TdcF)

12 In see plenty of Dems defending Warren, but I'm not sure their hearts are in it.

Posted by: sarahW at October 19, 2018 11:29 AM (g1vnC)

13 Texas man?
Posted by: Grump928(C) at October 19, 2018 11:27 AM (CwrxC)

It was the beer talking.--Texas Alligator Shit

Posted by: Anonymous White Male at October 19, 2018 11:29 AM (3sjI6)

14 Look, there's gonna be consequences when you say "fuck that alligator!" to me, capice?

Posted by: That Alligator at October 19, 2018 11:29 AM (RD7QR)

15 Trump caused Hurricane Michael. Lots of broken windows all over the panhandle. It was the quickest way he could expand the economy, after the sugar high of his fake tax cuts.

Posted by: Paul Krugman at October 19, 2018 11:29 AM (Z216Q)

16 I like the "Classy" T shirt death. My kinda death.

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at October 19, 2018 11:29 AM (CPk08)

17 12 In see plenty of Dems defending Warren, but I'm not sure their hearts are in it.
Posted by: sarahW at October 19, 2018 11:29 AM (g1vnC)

That implies they have hearts.

Posted by: What's a Seawolf? at October 19, 2018 11:29 AM (72PAC)

18 burrrrp

Posted by: alligator at October 19, 2018 11:29 AM (bO/Kf)

19 The alligator one is my favorite. I'm still laughing.

Posted by: LefyMagnet at October 19, 2018 11:30 AM (rb1zT)

20 Aside from "gradually, then all at once," how in the hell do you get to be $10 million in debt?

Posted by: Insomniac at October 19, 2018 11:30 AM (NWiLs)

21 At least it's Friday.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at October 19, 2018 11:30 AM (Id9Bf)

22 Try this
https://tinyurl.com/yc66jyb4

Posted by: An Observation at October 19, 2018 11:30 AM (AUyJx)

23 First!

Posted by: Tom Nichols at October 19, 2018 11:30 AM (vDqXW)

24 I hate alligators.

One of the reasons I'm not moving to Florida, despite the good stuff there.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, now with Bad Times at the El Royale review at October 19, 2018 11:30 AM (bcbK8)

25 Miller High Life, not something I would want associated with a "hold my beer" moment.

Posted by: auscolpyr at October 19, 2018 11:30 AM (oFsfu)

26 Are we sure it wasn't Fauxcahontas that jumped into the lake with the alligator?

PDT needs to do rallies in at least some of the Congressional Districts he carried in 2016 that are in blue states.

Posted by: mercenary13 at October 19, 2018 11:31 AM (2XQ0T)

27 I can't always get to eat people, but when I do I prefer drunk assholes.

Posted by: The Alligator at October 19, 2018 11:31 AM (Z216Q)

28 24 I hate alligators.

One of the reasons I'm not moving to Florida, despite the good stuff there.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, now with Bad Times at the El Royale review at October 19, 2018 11:30 AM (bcbK

Just train a hippo to walk around with you. Gators ain't messing with those things.

Posted by: What's a Seawolf? at October 19, 2018 11:31 AM (72PAC)

29 20 Aside from "gradually, then all at once," how in the hell do you get to be $10 million in debt?
Posted by: Insomniac at October 19, 2018 11:30 AM (NWiLs)

Hookers, blow, and genuine incompetence.

Posted by: joncelli, because somebody had to at October 19, 2018 11:32 AM (RD7QR)

30 14 Look, there's gonna be consequences when you say "fuck that alligator!" to me, capice?
Posted by: That Alligator at October 19, 2018 11:29 AM (RD7QR)

This...THIS is privilege speaking.

Posted by: The chicken at October 19, 2018 11:32 AM (CPk08)

31 Alligators were imported into Northern Mississippi to try and contain the beaver population. The problem is that you have to keep reimporting them as they move south down the rivers when it gets cold.

Posted by: Grump928(C) at October 19, 2018 11:32 AM (CwrxC)

32 28. Gators are handy if'n you're caught short without a discreet hog-farmer nearby.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, GECSPLAN, SMR, and Ancient Slavonaut Newsletters at October 19, 2018 11:32 AM (fA1SL)

33 24 I hate alligators.

One of the reasons I'm not moving to Florida, despite the good stuff there.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, now with Bad Times at the El Royale review at October 19, 2018 11:30 AM (bcbK

My residence here isn't enough of a draw? Oh, you said good stuff. Never mind.

Posted by: Insomniac at October 19, 2018 11:32 AM (NWiLs)

34 550 516 "Swedish third grader pulls a 1500 year old sword from her local lake. Claims throne of Sweden.
https://preview.tinyurl.com/y86jewue
Posted by: Huck Follywood, Vote Red! at October 19, 2018 11:15 AM (Z216Q) "

I think an 8 year old girl would be an improvement in most Scandi countries.

Behold - Excalibher! "

Supreme Executive Power derives from a Mandate from the Masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony!

Posted by: Dennis the Peasant at October 19, 2018 11:32 AM (Kpl3J)

35 This...THIS is privilege speaking.
Posted by: The chicken at October 19, 2018 11:32 AM (CPk0

No kidding.

Posted by: That noise at October 19, 2018 11:32 AM (CPk08)

36 Laughing like a loon over here, boss!

Posted by: Zombie Robbo the Llamabutcher at October 19, 2018 11:32 AM (JG+B3)

37 25 Miller High Life, not something I would want associated with a "hold my beer" moment.
Posted by: auscolpyr at October 19, 2018 11:30 AM (oFsfu)

That's a "hold my bottle of piss" moment.

Posted by: Insomniac at October 19, 2018 11:33 AM (NWiLs)

38 And it's a foregone conclusion that Warren will win in MA even though she's a complete fraud.

Posted by: Eddie Baby at October 19, 2018 11:33 AM (wpJDK)

39 Did Joachim Castro really accuse Jared Kushner of presenting King Salman with a "hit list"--on which Kashoggi was the first name?
Even the CNN anchorbabe couldn't believe her ears....

Posted by: JoeF. at October 19, 2018 11:33 AM (NFEMn)

40 27 I can't always get to eat people, but when I do I prefer drunk assholes.
Posted by: The Alligator at October 19, 2018 11:31 AM (Z216Q)

Note to self.....

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at October 19, 2018 11:33 AM (CPk08)

41 OT on the NPC thing. I came across a "snipped" of the NPC bug fix log.

Pretty funny. The last entry was somebody saying "fixed the bug, now the REEEEE doesn't have to timeout."

Posted by: Axeman at October 19, 2018 11:33 AM (vDqXW)

42 hold my beer

Posted by: willow at October 19, 2018 11:34 AM (dPd5y)

43 32 28. Gators are handy if'n you're caught short without a discreet hog-farmer nearby.
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, GECSPLAN, SMR, and Ancient Slavonaut Newsletters at October 19, 2018 11:32 AM (fA1SL)

Except if you want to be discreet you'll have to schlep down to the Everglades.

Posted by: Insomniac at October 19, 2018 11:34 AM (NWiLs)

44 39 Did Joachim Castro really accuse Jared Kushner of presenting King Salman with a "hit list"--on which Kashoggi was the first name?
Even the CNN anchorbabe couldn't believe her ears....
Posted by: JoeF. at October 19, 2018 11:33 AM (NFEMn)

[Shrug] No consequences for leftists when they say batshit insane things. No proof? No problem!

Posted by: joncelli, because somebody had to at October 19, 2018 11:34 AM (RD7QR)

45 That's what you get when you use the Acme DNA test kit.
Coyote out front should of told you.

Posted by: Diogenes at October 19, 2018 11:34 AM (0tfLf)

46 hopefully the alligator became massively drunk and drowned .

Posted by: willow at October 19, 2018 11:34 AM (dPd5y)

47 And it's a foregone conclusion that Warren will win in MA even though she's a complete fraud.
Posted by: Eddie Baby at October 19, 2018 11:33 AM (wpJDK)

Why not? MASS elected John (County) Kerry as an Irishman for years despite having not a single drop of Mick blood.....

Posted by: JoeF. at October 19, 2018 11:34 AM (NFEMn)

48 22 Try this
https://tinyurl.com/yc66jyb4
Posted by: An Observation at October 19, 2018 11:30 AM (AUyJx)

Thank you. It has now been stolen and used in the content.

Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader & Contributing Editor, Vanity Fair Magazine at October 19, 2018 11:35 AM (pUsxC)

49 *Red flashy thingy*

There were no comments.

Posted by: Men in Black at October 19, 2018 11:35 AM (72PAC)

50 He should have secured the alligator's consent before trying to fuk it, which was his stated intention.

Posted by: Dirks Strewn at October 19, 2018 11:35 AM (kfcYC)

51 38 And it's a foregone conclusion that Warren will win in MA even though she's a complete fraud.
Posted by: Eddie Baby at October 19, 2018 11:33 AM (wpJDK)

That really says a lot about Massachusetts, doesn't it?

Posted by: moki at October 19, 2018 11:35 AM (mFoNl)

52 This...THIS is privilege speaking.
Posted by: The chicken at October 19, 2018 11:32 AM (CPk0

No kidding.

Posted by: That noise

Yea, yea yea. Now squeal like a pig.

Posted by: wrg500 at October 19, 2018 11:35 AM (WgCY5)

53 The problem with carnally engaging alligators is their front hole is difficult to find, given the operation of their cloaca device.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at October 19, 2018 11:35 AM (ctuyM)

54 That warren cartoon is frigging hysterical. Actually, all the warren stuff makes up for the Empire State Head in the art thread.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at October 19, 2018 11:35 AM (9Om/r)

55 43. That's why you always make them walk out on their own to the disposal site.
'Sides - in Florida, ya got gators everywhere, if press accounts are to be credited. Just find a drainage ditch and - there's yer gators.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, GECSPLAN, SMR, and Ancient Slavonaut Newsletters at October 19, 2018 11:36 AM (fA1SL)

56 you see said he, he's as tame as he could be
so the croc winked his eye ....

at the end of the ride
the idiot was inside
and the smile was on the crocodile

Posted by: illiniwek at October 19, 2018 11:36 AM (Cus5s)

57 15
Trump caused Hurricane Michael. Lots of broken windows all over the
panhandle. It was the quickest way he could expand the economy, after
the sugar high of his fake tax cuts.

Posted by: Paul Krugman at October 19, 2018 11:29 AM (Z216Q)

OK By all accounts this hurricane was a huge sdisaster.
Why now bleating from the MSM and NPC's on this? Why are they not making this Trump's Katrina.

Has that old chesnut finally been completely depleted or are they afraid if they try it on Trump that somehow he will shove it up their ass?

Posted by: Cuthbert the Witless at October 19, 2018 11:36 AM (ymnmz)

58 Have you reboot your computer?

Posted by: Lizzy Warren, helpdesk at October 19, 2018 11:36 AM (4mUNO)

59 Isn't Joachim German for Jacob? So Jewish Dictator?

Posted by: Puddin Head - This Is CNN at October 19, 2018 11:36 AM (2LelM)

60 Good posts up on thedeclination, if folks haven't read them. The post by triplespincteredwombat is really good.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, now with Bad Times at the El Royale review at October 19, 2018 11:36 AM (bcbK8)

61 It's kind of amazing that in 2012, the go-to defense was a working class woman had to get creative to walk the halls of power, (that is, exaggerate any leverage-able narrative, true or false, to get ahead, which seems to sum up,the aughts and teens for prog goals), but now it's that PROVE IT SHE NEVER USED MINORITY CRED TO GET AHEAD, when obviously she did.

I mean, all you have to do is work backward for the fact that she' was the only law prof at Harvard without any Ivy League ties let alone degree, and they made a big deal of it, to surmise it worked to her advantage.

The phony ancestry is one thing. The gas lighting i think makes folks like me the angriest.

Posted by: sarahW at October 19, 2018 11:37 AM (g1vnC)

62 It's amazing how many stupid people roam the earth.

Posted by: Jewells45 at October 19, 2018 11:37 AM (kG5hP)

63 Remember, always try to hold the alligator's jaws shut. Their bite force is much stronger than their strength for opening their jaws.

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at October 19, 2018 11:37 AM (/qEW2)

64 55 43. That's why you always make them walk out on their own to the disposal site.
'Sides - in Florida, ya got gators everywhere, if press accounts are to be credited. Just find a drainage ditch and - there's yer gators.
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, GECSPLAN, SMR, and Ancient Slavonaut Newsletters at October 19, 2018 11:36 AM (fA1SL)

Reporters have been known to exaggerate. One old bat gets her poodle eaten while walking little Fifi next to the lake by the country club, and the press goes apeshit.

Posted by: Insomniac at October 19, 2018 11:38 AM (NWiLs)

65 It'd be so nice to think that Warren has torched her own campaign. She's moderately more pleasant to look at than Hillary, and might have swayed a certain number of low-IQ independents to vote for her, especially if she hid her socialist tendencies and opinions. In short, she might have been a threat to anyone less tough-minded than Trump. But now . . .

If she does go against Trump, it'll be a new Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at October 19, 2018 11:38 AM (Fz8ov)

66 Just train a hippo to walk around with you. Gators ain't messing with those things.
Posted by: What's a Seawolf? at October 19, 2018 11:31 AM (72PAC)

Well, you might end up as hippo shit instead of alligator shit.--Harry the Happy Hippo.

Posted by: Anonymous White Male at October 19, 2018 11:38 AM (3sjI6)

67 Remember, always try to hold the alligator's jaws shut. Their bite force is much stronger than their strength for opening their jaws.
Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at October 19, 2018 11:37 AM (/qEW2)

I'll remember that.

Posted by: JoeF. at October 19, 2018 11:38 AM (NFEMn)

68 33 24 I hate alligators.

One of the reasons I'm not moving to Florida, despite the good stuff there.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, now with Bad Times at the El Royale review at October 19, 2018 11:30 AM (bcbK

My residence here isn't enough of a draw? Oh, you said good stuff. Never mind.
Posted by: Insomniac at October 19, 2018 11:32 AM (NWiLs)

You are the good stuff. So is Disney, guns, hotties, the gulf coast...I like visiting Florida.

But bugs, gators, hurricanes...tough sell.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, now with Bad Times at the El Royale review at October 19, 2018 11:38 AM (bcbK8)

69 Gators are handy if'n you're caught short without a discreet hog-farmer nearby.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, GECSPLAN, SMR, and Ancient Slavonaut Newsletters at October 19, 2018 11:32 AM (fA1SL)

They're doing it wrong.

Posted by: Hudsons Bay Company at October 19, 2018 11:38 AM (iwUO9)

70 63 Remember, always try to hold the alligator's jaws shut. Their bite force is much stronger than their strength for opening their jaws.
---------------------
Joe Dirt knew this. A gator in the water is a beastly thing. DO NOT GET OUT OF THE BOAT.

Posted by: Puddin Head - This Is CNN at October 19, 2018 11:39 AM (2LelM)

71 What was Texas man's blood alcohol level?
Posted by: IC

42.

Posted by: rickb223 at October 19, 2018 11:40 AM (hAdu/)

72 Lot of funny stuff this morning. Nada, still chuckling about that.

Posted by: rockysan at October 19, 2018 11:40 AM (j2vMC)

73 Don Surber has a running list of all of those who have destroyed themselves while taking on Donald Trump. It is uncanny.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - The Outrage Outlet presents Last of the Fauxhicans starring Lizzie Warren at October 19, 2018 11:40 AM (hLRSq)

74 The first -$1 million is the hardest. After that, it just becomes natural.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at October 19, 2018 11:41 AM (4gTV9)

75 Swedish third grader pulls a 1500 year old sword from her local lake. Claims throne of Sweden.

---

The Once and Future Kjarstin.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - Google Is Always Listening - Link in nic at October 19, 2018 11:41 AM (AO5oF)

76 60 Good posts up on thedeclination, if folks haven't read them. The post by triplespincteredwombat is really good.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, now with Bad Times at the El Royale review at October 19, 2018 11:36 AM (bcbK

I had never heard of that blog before. Seems to have a lot of good stuff there. Makes us look like a bunch of, well, morons.

Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader & Contributing Editor, Vanity Fair Magazine at October 19, 2018 11:41 AM (pUsxC)

77 Could Trump please stop killing off all the bad democratic candidates before the primaries even begin.

Idiot Liberal Season hasn't even opened yet.

Posted by: Buzzsaw90 at October 19, 2018 11:41 AM (9qOCq)

78 One of the reasons I'm not moving to Florida, despite the good stuff there.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, now with Bad Times at the El Royale review at October 19, 2018 11:30 AM (bcbK

The frozen food section on a hot beach day at Jerry's Supermarket of Sanibel Island should be enough to change your mind......

Posted by: Jinx the Cat at October 19, 2018 11:41 AM (FTlwv)

79
Remember, always try to hold the alligator's jaws shut. Their bite force is much stronger than their strength for opening their jaws.
Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear

That reminds me of the Bill Cosby Noah's ark sketch.
God says to Noah "How long can you tread water?"

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at October 19, 2018 11:41 AM (4mUNO)

80 Alligators used to be endangered, but due to conservation efforts they are now "least concern".

I love how environmentalists have this propensity to rehabilitate animals that kill humans. Or become nuisances, like deer.

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at October 19, 2018 11:41 AM (/qEW2)

81 Gators, unlike Crocs, are totally not gay.

Posted by: garrett at October 19, 2018 11:41 AM (UbVmJ)

82 My question is, why does every one who goes against Trump end up hurting themselves? It's absolutely uncanny. If I were the president, I would be on my knees every night, thanking God that my enemies are so stupid."

..................

It's part of the Trump Derangement Syndrome..

They really do think he's a stupid idiot and that he's "sure stepped in it now! Ha!" or..

"Aha! We've got him now!"

Like with that offhanded comment during the campaign.. Hey Russia, you got those 30,000 emails?

"AHA! Russian collusion!"

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at October 19, 2018 11:41 AM (so+oy)

83 I hate alligators.

I like eating them. Tasty. And, like sharks, I feel like I am doing the world a solid by eating them.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls at October 19, 2018 11:41 AM (ppBhU)

84 Liz Warren / Ward Churchill 2020!

Posted by: Boulder terlit hobo at October 19, 2018 11:42 AM (bO/Kf)

85 Aside from "gradually, then all at once," how in the hell do you get to be $10 million in debt?
Posted by: Insomniac

By just paying your bookie the vig?

Posted by: rickb223 at October 19, 2018 11:42 AM (hAdu/)

86 In Texas, alligator f*cks YOU!

Posted by: fly gal at October 19, 2018 11:28 AM (8TdcF)

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^Thread winner!

Posted by: Archer at October 19, 2018 11:42 AM (gmo/4)

87 14 Look, there's gonna be consequences when you say "fuck that alligator!" to me, capice?
Posted by: That Alligator at October 19, 2018 11:29 AM (RD7QR)

---

what he said!

Posted by: the chicken at October 19, 2018 11:42 AM (9qOCq)

88 And it's a foregone conclusion that Warren will win in MA even though she's a complete fraud.
Posted by: Eddie Baby at October 19, 2018 11:33 AM (wpJDK)

That really says a lot about Massachusetts, doesn't it?
Posted by: moki at October 19, 2018 11:35 AM (mFoNl)

In blue States, it's the thought that counts. You never harsh their mellow by pointing out results and consequences.

Posted by: Anonymous White Male at October 19, 2018 11:42 AM (3sjI6)

89 >>Aside from "gradually, then all at once," how in the hell do you get to be $10 million in debt?

Double or Nothing?

Posted by: garrett at October 19, 2018 11:42 AM (UbVmJ)

90 The Once and Future Kjarstin.
Posted by: Moron Robbie - Google Is Always Listening - Link in nic at October 19, 2018 11:41 AM (AO5oF)

Dang, I was hoping for a Sampo,

Posted by: auscolpyr at October 19, 2018 11:43 AM (oFsfu)

91 62 It's amazing how many stupid people roam the earth.
Posted by: Jewells45 at October 19, 2018 11:37 AM (kG5hP)

Think how stupid the average person is, and then realize half of them are stupider than that.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at October 19, 2018 11:43 AM (4gTV9)

92 84
Liz Warren / Ward Churchill 2020!

Posted by: Boulder terlit hobo at October 19, 2018
*
*
And cue the Custer's Last Stand/Wounded Knee/Last of the Fauxhicans jokes. . . .

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at October 19, 2018 11:43 AM (Fz8ov)

93 Alligators were imported into Northern Mississippi to try and contain the beaver population. The problem is that you have to keep reimporting them as they move south down the rivers when it gets cold.

-
That's the main difference between them and Islamists.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at October 19, 2018 11:43 AM (+y/Ru)

94 It's totes dehumanizing to use this NPC meme, and you need to cease and desist immediately, if not sooner.

Posted by: J. Random ~~SJW~~NPC at October 19, 2018 11:43 AM (ctuyM)

95 19 The alligator one is my favorite. I'm still laughing.
Posted by: LefyMagnet at October 19, 2018 11:30 AM (rb1zT)

---

if that was the Rio Grande the Alligator could try to have a Tex-Mex lunch

Posted by: the chicken at October 19, 2018 11:43 AM (9qOCq)

96 What was Texas man's blood alcohol level?

Fatal.

Posted by: DaveA at October 19, 2018 11:43 AM (FhXTo)

97 I hate alligators.

I like eating them. Tasty. And, like sharks, I feel like I am doing the world a solid by eating them.
Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls

Fried gator tail & shark tacos.

Posted by: rickb223 at October 19, 2018 11:43 AM (hAdu/)

98 It's part of the Trump Derangement Syndrome..
Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at October 19, 2018 11:41 AM (so+oy)

It's like a non-stop Wile E. Coyote cartoon.

Posted by: hobbitopoly at October 19, 2018 11:44 AM (MX7xj)

99 Alligator, Excalibher, mosquito, polar bear.

You guys are killing me here.

Posted by: trev006 at October 19, 2018 11:44 AM (ZRv87)

100 You are the good stuff. So is Disney, guns, hotties, the gulf coast...I like visiting Florida.

But bugs, gators, hurricanes...tough sell.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, now with Bad Times at the El Royale review at October 19, 2018 11:38 AM (bcbK

And here I thought you were talking about good stuff like meth, crack, and heroin.--Texas Man's cousin Florida Man.

Posted by: Anonymous White Male at October 19, 2018 11:44 AM (3sjI6)

101 Fried gator tail shark tacos.

Posted by: rickb223 at October 19, 2018
*
*
Remember, though, you are what you eat. Sharks will eat anything, including garbage. (Not sure about gators.)

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at October 19, 2018 11:44 AM (Fz8ov)

102 The post by triplespincteredwombat is really good.

Now let's be honest. How many of you ever thought you would read that sentence on this planet?

Posted by: Bob the Bilderber's phone at October 19, 2018 11:44 AM (1iOcg)

103
83 I hate alligators.

I like eating them. Tasty. And, like sharks, I feel like I am doing the world a solid by eating them.

Posted by: bear with asymmetrical balls

Rattlesnake is pretty tasty also.

Posted by: wrg500 at October 19, 2018 11:44 AM (WgCY5)

104 90 The Once and Future Kjarstin.
Posted by: Moron Robbie - Google Is Always Listening - Link in nic at October 19, 2018 11:41 AM (AO5oF)

Dang, I was hoping for a Sampo,
Posted by: auscolpyr at October 19, 2018 11:43 AM (oFsfu)

First, forge me a horse made of iron so I can plow a field filled with snakes...

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, now with Bad Times at the El Royale review at October 19, 2018 11:45 AM (bcbK8)

105 OT - Kemp mentioned voting for JJ Sefton to be the NC soil commissioner (as a write in). I think all of us NC Morons should do so, let's see how many votes we can get him! Should be fun on election night.

Posted by: LMD Outer Banker at October 19, 2018 11:45 AM (YuQLm)

106 Hookers, blow, and genuine incompetence.
Posted by: joncelli, because somebody had to at October 19, 2018 11:32 AM (RD7QR)

---

when enjoying a fortune...what % should be spent on the hooker/blow?

i'd just hate to get it wrong and have to do it again.

Posted by: the chicken at October 19, 2018 11:45 AM (9qOCq)

107 78 One of the reasons I'm not moving to Florida, despite the good stuff there.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, now with Bad Times at the El Royale review at October 19, 2018 11:30 AM (bcbK

The frozen food section on a hot beach day at Jerry's Supermarket of Sanibel Island should be enough to change your mind......
Posted by: Jinx the Cat at October 19, 2018 11:41 AM (FTlwv)

Ain't that the truth?

Hey, do you live in Lee County?

Posted by: Marybeth at October 19, 2018 11:45 AM (CmURZ)

108 Well, at least we don't have piranhas, yet.

Posted by: Puddin Head - This Is CNN at October 19, 2018 11:45 AM (2LelM)

109 Yay, Gorilla Pundit!

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at October 19, 2018 11:45 AM (kqsXK)

110 Isn't is rumored that CPL may have been receiving leaks from the DoJ idiot they arrested the other day?

If so, CPL could be facing some real interesting times ahead.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at October 19, 2018 11:45 AM (oVJmc)

111 So does this all mean that Lizzie Warren's crab dip recipe isn't authentic Cherokee?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at October 19, 2018 11:45 AM (13Al/)

112 The Once and Future Kjarstin.
--

Dang, I was hoping for a Sampo,

Posted by: auscolpyr at October 19, 2018 11:43 AM (oFsfu)

---

I regret not knowing more Swedish women. I'm sure there's a closer match to "king."

Posted by: Moron Robbie - Google Is Always Listening - Link in nic at October 19, 2018 11:45 AM (AO5oF)

113 when enjoying a fortune...what % should be spent on the hooker/blow?

Posted by: the chicken

All of it.

Posted by: rickb223 at October 19, 2018 11:46 AM (hAdu/)

114 Swedish third grader pulls a 1500 year old sword from her local lake. Claims throne of Sweden.

---

The Once and Future Kjarstin.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - Google Is Always Listening - Link in nic at October 19, 2018 11:41 AM (AO5oF)

The traditional farcical aquatic ceremonies have been met, I see.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - The Outrage Outlet presents Last of the Fauxhicans starring Lizzie Warren at October 19, 2018 11:46 AM (hLRSq)

115 But bugs, gators, hurricanes...tough sell.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, now with Bad Times at the El Royale review at October 19, 2018 11:38 AM (bcbK

You can avoid the gators, but yeah, the mosquitoes can be a bitch. And hurricane season can get right sporty.

Posted by: Insomniac at October 19, 2018 11:46 AM (NWiLs)

116 78 One of the reasons I'm not moving to Florida, despite the good stuff there.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, now with Bad Times at the El Royale review at October 19, 2018 11:30 AM (bcbK

The frozen food section on a hot beach day at Jerry's Supermarket of Sanibel Island should be enough to change your mind......
Posted by: Jinx the Cat at October 19, 2018 11:41 AM (FTlwv)

Are we back to nipples again?

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, now with Bad Times at the El Royale review at October 19, 2018 11:47 AM (bcbK8)

117
when enjoying a fortune...what % should be spent on the hooker/blow?

i'd just hate to get it wrong and have to do it again.

Posted by: the chicken at October 19, 2018
*
*
Whatever's left over after the part you just wasted, of course.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at October 19, 2018 11:47 AM (Fz8ov)

118 >>But bugs, gators, hurricanes...tough sell.

Last time I was in Key Largo I swore I would never go back to that shithole state.

Posted by: garrett at October 19, 2018 11:47 AM (UbVmJ)

119 Trump seems to be almost infinitely more intelligent than the media but they still seem oddly convinced of their intellectual and moral superiority.

Posted by: Northernlurker, but call me Teem at October 19, 2018 11:47 AM (nBr1j)

120 What was Texas man's blood alcohol level?

High.

Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader & Contributing Editor, Vanity Fair Magazine at October 19, 2018 11:47 AM (pUsxC)

121 Also just because of general reasons.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - Google Is Always Listening - Link in nic at October 19, 2018 11:47 AM (AO5oF)

122 Texas man tastes just like chicken

Posted by: The Alligator you tried to f*ck at October 19, 2018 11:47 AM (Rr52g)

123 Is this too hatey-hatey?
https://tinyurl.com/y98jb5pm
Fauxcahontas 2020

Posted by: Old Dude at October 19, 2018 11:47 AM (LGXGf)

124 I saw an elevator video earlier where a petite woman kicked the nuts of a creep. I cannot find it now. Wasn't it on the ONT? But I cannot find it now.
Help!

Posted by: JAS at October 19, 2018 11:48 AM (3HNOQ)

125 TEXAS MAN FTW!!!!!

More brilliance added to the "famous last words" list.

Posted by: Sponge at October 19, 2018 11:48 AM (F4u7C)

126 But bugs, gators, hurricanes...tough sell.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards

..................

The humidity alone is enough.. although I can see why northerners who can afford to do so, just go down for the winter.

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at October 19, 2018 11:48 AM (so+oy)

127 >>Joe Dirt knew this. A gator in the water is a beastly thing. DO NOT GET OUT OF THE BOAT.

I went out crocodile "hunting" one night on the Amazon. Local guides took us on a long skinny boat with and Yamaha on one end and the other guide holding a spotlight hooked to a car battery at the other end.

He scanned the water looking for red eyeballs and when he found one close to the boat he dove into the water and wrastled with the croc. I shit you not.

It was only about 3 1/2 feet long but still, night time, Amazon, crocs and piranhas. He brought it back to the boat where we got to hold it. Tightly. Briefly.

Amazon man much crazier than Texas man.

Posted by: JackStraw at October 19, 2018 11:48 AM (/tuJf)

128 I regret not knowing more Swedish women. I'm sure there's a closer match to "king."
Posted by: Moron Robbie - Google Is Always Listening - Link in nic at October 19, 2018 11:45 AM (AO5oF)

Sampo is a MST3k reference to a really screwy Finnish-Russian folk lore movie.

Posted by: auscolpyr at October 19, 2018 11:48 AM (oFsfu)

129 Miller High Life, not something I would want associated with a "hold my beer" moment.

Posted by: auscolpyr at October 19, 2018 11:30 AM (oFsfu)

But it's the Champagne of Beers! Says so right there on the label.

Posted by: Count de Monet at October 19, 2018 11:48 AM (QLvwG)

130
And it's a foregone conclusion that Warren will win in MA even though she's a complete fraud.
Posted by: Eddie Baby

That really says a lot about Massachusetts, doesn't it?
Posted by: moki

And Da Nang Dick will be a senator as long as he wants.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at October 19, 2018 11:49 AM (4mUNO)

131 123
Is this too hatey-hatey?
https://tinyurl.com/y98jb5pm
Fauxcahontas 2020

Posted by: Old Dude at October 19, 2018
*
*
In contrast to Lieawatha, Betty Hutton was cute.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at October 19, 2018 11:49 AM (Fz8ov)

132 That's why alligator love is so rare.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at October 19, 2018 11:49 AM (xfb67)

133 76 60 Good posts up on thedeclination, if folks haven't read them. The post by triplespincteredwombat is really good.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, now with Bad Times at the El Royale review at October 19, 2018 11:36 AM (bcbK

I had never heard of that blog before. Seems to have a lot of good stuff there. Makes us look like a bunch of, well, morons.
Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader & Contributing Editor, Vanity Fair Magazine at October 19, 2018 11:41 AM (pUsxC)

Well, we are. Some good discussion of politics, history and how much liberals suck. Great combo.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, now with Bad Times at the El Royale review at October 19, 2018 11:49 AM (bcbK8)

134 "Lizzie 'Notaninjun' Warren has own-goaled herself so badly that down in the Twitter sewers, even hardcore progs are saying 'you know, I hate Trump and everything he stands for, but he sure owned Warren.'

----------

Trump's coat of arms should include a rake lying on the ground as it's central motif.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at October 19, 2018 11:49 AM (13Al/)

135 Jumping in a lake and going after an alligator who kills you... is not "tragedy."

Posted by: mindful webworker - crocodile tears of laughter at October 19, 2018 11:49 AM (DB1SB)

136 At this point is it proper etiquette to finish of Texas Man's beer that you've been holding?

Posted by: Buzzsaw90 at October 19, 2018 11:50 AM (9qOCq)

137 Are we back to nipples again?

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, now with Bad Times at the El Royale review

Do we ever really leave the topic?

Posted by: wrg500 at October 19, 2018 11:50 AM (WgCY5)

138 if that was the Rio Grande the Alligator could try to have a Tex-Mex lunch
Posted by: the chicken at October 19, 2018 11:43 AM (9qOCq)

The only alligators found in the Rio Grande were apparently introduced by accident. But, they can survive. This leads me to think that Trump should create wildlife preserve along the Rio....stocked with with huge alligators, piranhas, and Water Moccasins. That way, we could test the Mexicans willingness to start life in our country. If they survive, they have the right stuff and can open a taco stand or a low rider shop.

Posted by: Anonymous White Male at October 19, 2018 11:50 AM (3sjI6)

139 135 Jumping in a lake and going after an alligator who kills you... is not "tragedy."
Posted by: mindful webworker - crocodile tears of laughter at October 19, 2018 11:49 AM (DB1SB)

It's good clean fun!

Posted by: Roy at October 19, 2018 11:50 AM (Rr52g)

140 Anybody seen the Sriracha sauce?

Posted by: The Alligator at October 19, 2018 11:50 AM (Z216Q)

141 No one could be more qualified for the presidency than someone who got shitstomped in a Texas Senate race.

Posted by: Beto "Taco" O'Rourke at October 19, 2018 11:50 AM (HiLJ1)

142 elevator video:

https://youtu.be/nXmKiVvcxco

I just googled your description

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at October 19, 2018 11:50 AM (so+oy)

143 Alligator tail is good eats.

Posted by: Insomniac at October 19, 2018 11:50 AM (NWiLs)

144 141 No one could be more qualified for the presidency than someone who got shitstomped in a Texas Senate race.
Posted by: Beto "Taco" O'Rourke at October 19, 2018 11:50 AM (HiLJ1)

To the left, it's a resume enhancer.

Posted by: Marybeth at October 19, 2018 11:51 AM (CmURZ)

145 142 elevator video:

https://youtu.be/nXmKiVvcxco

I just googled your description
Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at October 19, 2018 11:50 AM (so+oy)

That seems to be a setup. Looks too scripted. If it was on MSM websites, that would guarantee it's fake.

Posted by: Roy at October 19, 2018 11:51 AM (Rr52g)

146 Texas Man
Texas Man,
Likes his reptiles, he's a fan -
"Fuck a croc? Sure I can!"
Texas Man.

**accordion solo**

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at October 19, 2018 11:51 AM (kqsXK)

147 20
Aside from "gradually, then all at once," how in the hell do you get to be $10 million in debt?

Posted by: Insomniac at October 19, 2018 11:30 AM (NWiLs)

The tax thing is probably fees, penalties and interest. They're a bitch. Even while - typically - you can get the IRS to agree to a payment plan, interest is added in (though the rate is reasonable) but "late"fees and penalties are accumulating at the same time in many cases. Depending on the agent.

Posted by: Steve_in_SoCal at October 19, 2018 11:51 AM (q1VoB)

148 That's why you don't see any alligators with #MeToo stories.

Posted by: sniffybigtoe at October 19, 2018 11:51 AM (xfb67)

149
134 "Lizzie 'Notaninjun' Warren has own-goaled herself so badly that down in the Twitter sewers, even hardcore progs are saying 'you know, I hate Trump and everything he stands for, but he sure owned Warren.'

----------

Trump's coat of arms should include a rake lying on the ground as it's central motif.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at October 19, 2018 11:49 AM (13Al/)

With the motto: "Sure, I'll hold your beer and watch" in a wreath about it.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - The Outrage Outlet presents Last of the Fauxhicans starring Lizzie Warren at October 19, 2018 11:51 AM (hLRSq)

150 Are we back to nipples again?

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, now with Bad Times at the El Royale review
You say that like it is a bad thing.

Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at October 19, 2018 11:52 AM (jxbfJ)

151 142 elevator video:

https://youtu.be/nXmKiVvcxco

I just googled your description
Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at October 19, 2018 11:50 AM (so+oy)
---
Oh man.

Posted by: WisRich at October 19, 2018 11:52 AM (G0vdT)

152 Somehow I think that "Fuck that alligator!" was followed by "Hold my beer and watch this!"

Posted by: steevy at October 19, 2018 11:52 AM (mCMQ5)

153 124 I saw an elevator video earlier where a petite woman kicked the nuts of a creep. I cannot find it now. Wasn't it on the ONT? But I cannot find it now.
Help!
Posted by: JAS at October 19, 2018 11:48 AM (3HNOQ)

Yeah, I know which one you're talking about, but I think I saw it on Twitter, not here. Naturally, I lost track of it.

Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader & Contributing Editor, Vanity Fair Magazine at October 19, 2018 11:52 AM (pUsxC)

154 when enjoying a fortune...what % should be spent on the hooker/blow?

Posted by: the chicken

All of it.
Posted by: rickb223 at October 19, 2018 11:46 AM (hAdu/)

That sounds just selfish to me. Don't you want to leave enough for your male descendants to enjoy hookers and blow?

Posted by: Anonymous White Male at October 19, 2018 11:52 AM (3sjI6)

155 150 Are we back to nipples again?

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, now with Bad Times at the El Royale review
You say that like it is a bad thing.
Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at October 19, 2018 11:52 AM (jxbfJ)

No, no. Nipples are magic.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, now with Bad Times at the El Royale review at October 19, 2018 11:52 AM (bcbK8)

156
I think an 8 year old girl would be an improvement in most Scandi countries.
____________

Unless she's been raised by lefties. Then it's pretty much the same.

Posted by: TrivialPursuer at October 19, 2018 11:53 AM (fqUgw)

157 Crocs are cool again. I've read it on a blog.

Posted by: sarahW at October 19, 2018 11:53 AM (g1vnC)

158
That sounds just selfish to me. Don't you want to leave enough for your male descendants to enjoy hookers and blow?
Posted by: Anonymous White Male at October 19, 2018 11:52 AM (3sjI6)

Screw them. They can get their own fortune.

Posted by: Roy at October 19, 2018 11:53 AM (Rr52g)

159 By the way Ms Warren, telling business owners "You didn't build that" is like telling a football team "You didn't win that game" because they didn't build the stadium.

Posted by: An Observation at October 19, 2018 11:53 AM (AUyJx)

160
But bugs, gators, hurricanes...tough sell.
Hurricane Michael was enough to get my attention. We had been planning on retiring there, but... damn.

Posted by: Hawkpilot at October 19, 2018 11:53 AM (p6e8W)

161 Gee I hope that ruling doesn't hurt Avenatti's presidential bid

Posted by: TheQuietMan at October 19, 2018 11:53 AM (OLCnA)

162 But it's the Champagne of Beers! Says so right there on the label.
Posted by: Count de Monet at October 19, 2018 11:48 AM (QLvwG)

--

so what is the Miller High-life of Champagnes?

Posted by: Buzzsaw90 at October 19, 2018 11:54 AM (9qOCq)

163 On a field or, impaled in escutcheon sable a lawn implement dormant, proper.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at October 19, 2018 11:54 AM (4gTV9)

164 I just put all my support behind cocks!!!

Wait, I meant Cox! That was NOT a Freudian slip.

Just voted more or less straight ticket Republican in bluest of blue California. I feel great. Sadly we have no Senate candidate though.

Posted by: Max Power at October 19, 2018 11:54 AM (q177U)

165 No one could be more qualified for the presidency than someone who got shitstomped in a Texas Senate race.
Posted by: Beto "Taco" O'Rourke at October 19, 2018 11:50 AM (HiLJ1)

To the left, it's a resume enhancer.
Posted by: Marybeth at October 19, 2018 11:51 AM (CmURZ)

Especially if they threaten to move to Canada if they lose, and then move to California when they do.

Posted by: Anonymous White Male at October 19, 2018 11:54 AM (3sjI6)

166 so what is the Miller High-life of Champagnes?
Posted by: Buzzsaw90 at October 19, 2018 11:54 AM (9qOCq)

RIpple

Posted by: auscolpyr at October 19, 2018 11:54 AM (oFsfu)

167 so what is the Miller High-life of Champagnes?
Posted by: Buzzsaw90 at October 19, 2018 11:54 AM (9qOCq)

--------

Night Train Sparkling

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at October 19, 2018 11:55 AM (13Al/)

168 126 But bugs, gators, hurricanes...tough sell.
Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards

..................

The humidity alone is enough.. although I can see why northerners who can afford to do so, just go down for the winter.
Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at October 19, 2018 11:48 AM (so+oy)

yup, my parents have two timeshares. They spent a month and a half in Florida, then a month and a half in Mission,TX during the winters.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, now with Bad Times at the El Royale review at October 19, 2018 11:55 AM (bcbK8)

169 If it flies, crawls, or swims,and will sting you, bite you, or eat you , it can be found in Florida.

Posted by: bill in arkansas at October 19, 2018 11:55 AM (xzqr4)

170 At this point is it proper etiquette to finish of Texas Man's beer that you've been holding?

Posted by: Buzzsaw90 at October 19, 2018 11:50 AM (9qOCq)

If you first pour out some in honor of Texas Man, sure!

Posted by: Count de Monet at October 19, 2018 11:55 AM (QLvwG)

171 Sampo is a MST3k reference to a really screwy Finnish-Russian folk lore movie.

Posted by: auscolpyr at October 19, 2018 11:48 AM (oFsfu)

---

Ah. I can blame my CRS syndrome, then.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - Google Is Always Listening - Link in nic at October 19, 2018 11:55 AM (AO5oF)

172 yeah.. that video looks set up.. too scripted.

Posted by: Chi-Town Jerry at October 19, 2018 11:55 AM (so+oy)

173 He might as well have "fuck that T-Rex." Its a dinosaur you dumb fuck.

Posted by: Cannibal Bob at October 19, 2018 11:55 AM (EzXDh)

174 Alligator 1
Texas Man 0

Posted by: Marcus T at October 19, 2018 11:55 AM (SVfMe)

175 Gee I hope that ruling doesn't hurt Avenatti's presidential bid

-
It won't. The fact that he's experienced with deficit spending makes him a natural.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at October 19, 2018 11:56 AM (+y/Ru)

176 Are we back to nipples again?

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, now with Bad Times at the El Royale review

Every man's got to have a hobby.

Posted by: Count de Monet at October 19, 2018 11:56 AM (QLvwG)

177 55 43. That's why you always make them walk out on their own to the disposal site.
'Sides - in Florida, ya got gators everywhere, if press accounts are to be credited. Just find a drainage ditch and - there's yer gators.
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, GECSPLAN, SMR, and Ancient Slavonaut Newsletters at October 19, 2018 11:36 AM (fA1SL)
------------

You're saying the canals should be dug in FL?

Posted by: Blake - used bridge salesman at October 19, 2018 11:56 AM (qC1Sy)

178 How crazy, uncanny and ironic is it that, literally, everyone who goes against Trump, loses. It might take a few months, but they lose. Every time.

Posted by: bladerunner at October 19, 2018 11:56 AM (sq/yX)

179 Although I feel that any blazon involving Trump almost has to include something "rampant"...

Posted by: Warai-otoko at October 19, 2018 11:56 AM (4gTV9)

180 143 Alligator tail is good eats.

Posted by: Insomniac at October 19, 2018 11:50 AM (NWiLs)

There's a Chinese restaurant just north of New Orleans on the other end of Lake Pontchartrain that has 'Szechuan Alligator' on the menu.

Tasted almost like chicken.

Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader & Contributing Editor, Vanity Fair Magazine at October 19, 2018 11:56 AM (pUsxC)

181 156
I think an 8 year old girl would be an improvement in most Scandi countries.
____________

Unless she's been raised by lefties. Then it's pretty much the same.
Posted by: TrivialPursuer at October 19, 2018 11:53 AM (fqUgw)

I defense of Scandis, their kids ar permitted and even encouraged to walk themselves to school and or the corner store, before the age of seventeen.

Posted by: sarahW at October 19, 2018 11:57 AM (g1vnC)

182 169 If it flies, crawls, or swims,and will sting you, bite you, or eat you , it can be found in Florida.
Posted by: bill in arkansas at October 19, 2018 11:55 AM (xzqr4)
-------

Word. There's a reason why everyone has a Lanai in FL.

Posted by: WisRich at October 19, 2018 11:57 AM (G0vdT)

183 seems i was unclear.

Should one spend more on the blow, or on the hookers. That it will all be spent is to be expected.

Posted by: Buzzsaw90 at October 19, 2018 11:57 AM (9qOCq)

184 175
Gee I hope that ruling doesn't hurt Avenatti's presidential bid

-

It won't. The fact that he's experienced with deficit spending makes him a natural.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at October 19, 2018 11:56 AM (+y/Ru)

Avenatti's slogan:
Trump stiffs vendors. I stiff the IRS. Vote Avenatti.

Posted by: Steve_in_SoCal at October 19, 2018 11:57 AM (q1VoB)

185 I dood a giffy

Democrat Party Bus 2018
https://j.gifs.com/oQG33X.gif
Free to redistribute without alteration yatadayatada.

I used an online gif service and it's a larger file than if I'd done it with the old PSP tools, but I was lazy and wanted to see how various gif services worked. Several require sign-up just to make the gif. This one required sign-up only if you want to get rid of their watermark. gifs.com

Posted by: mindful webworker - took too hard a left at October 19, 2018 11:57 AM (DB1SB)

186 182 169 If it flies, crawls, or swims,and will sting you, bite you, or eat you , it can be found in Florida.
Posted by: bill in arkansas at October 19, 2018 11:55 AM (xzqr4)

That's cute.

Posted by: Australia at October 19, 2018 11:57 AM (72PAC)

187 Warren did not want to be Indian in the same sense Shaun King desires to be black. It was just a racket for her. I miss Godfrey Elfwick and #WrongSkin.

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at October 19, 2018 11:57 AM (/qEW2)

188 159 By the way Ms Warren, telling business owners "You didn't build that" is like telling a football team "You didn't win that game" because they didn't build the stadium.
________________

Hey, other people deserve your money more than you do.

That's why I am proposing to repeal the hideous Trump tax cuts, which only helped rich people, and proposing a new law that will give $500 a month to every poor "American" (as in, anybody who lives here who is willing to check the "Are you a U.S. citizen? question box).

Because it's not fair that you get to keep the money you earn! We know how to re-distribute it more "fairly"! And what's more fair than for us to take your money and give it to people who didn't earn it, so that they will keep voting for us? lol

Posted by: Sen. Kamaletoe Harris at October 19, 2018 11:58 AM (fqUgw)

189 If it flies, crawls, or swims,and will sting you, bite you, or eat you , it can be found in Florida.

Posted by: bill in arkansas at October 19, 2018 11:55 AM (xzqr4)

But enough about Florida women . . .

Posted by: Count de Monet at October 19, 2018 11:58 AM (QLvwG)

190 There's a Chinese restaurant just north of New Orleans on the other end of Lake Pontchartrain that has 'Szechuan Alligator' on the menu.

Tasted almost like chicken.
Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader & Contributing Editor, Vanity Fair Magazine at October 19, 2018 11:56 AM (pUsxC)

It was cat.

Posted by: Insomniac at October 19, 2018 11:58 AM (NWiLs)

191 11 In Texas, alligator f*cks YOU!
Posted by: fly gal at October 19, 2018 11:28 AM (8TdcF)

----

And don't ask me about the bears.

Posted by: Leonardo DiCaprio at October 19, 2018 11:58 AM (Zq4E3)

192 -
--

so what is the Miller High-life of Champagnes?

Posted by: Buzzsaw90 at October 19, 2018 11:54 AM (9qOCq)
-------------------------------

RIpple

Posted by: auscolpyr at October 19, 2018 11:54 AM

--------------------

champagne and ripple ----> champipple!

Posted by: Fred Sanford at October 19, 2018 11:58 AM (pMGkg)

193 Good posts up on thedeclination
--

The vocabulary puts that site out of reach for the common man who doesn't get all the cultural references.

You have to be an intellectual to understand all the code words.

Posted by: Joe Styzneac at October 19, 2018 11:58 AM (oYD2h)

194 169 If it flies, crawls, or swims,and will sting you, bite you, or eat you , it can be found in Florida.

Posted by: bill in arkansas at October 19, 2018 11:55 AM (xzqr4)

Crikey! What a buncha amateurs!

Posted by: Australia Man at October 19, 2018 11:59 AM (pUsxC)

195 183 seems i was unclear.

Should one spend more on the blow, or on the hookers. That it will all be spent is to be expected.
Posted by: Buzzsaw90 at October 19, 2018 11:57 AM (9qOCq)

Ratios are important.

80% hookers, 20% blow. The blow is to draw the hookers in and for going all night like Lumberjack.

Do not let the blow distract you from the hookers. That's where Rick James went wrong.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, now with Bad Times at the El Royale review at October 19, 2018 11:59 AM (bcbK8)

196
I just put all my support behind cocks!!!

http://www.engrish.com/2018/10/for-your-comfort/

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at October 19, 2018 11:59 AM (4mUNO)

197 If Lizzie Warren is delude enough to still run in 2020, the DNC debates against her and Biden will be entertaining. He'll keep mixing up indians with feathers and dots and claim she need to back to a 7-11. I would watch.

Have we heard anything more from the DNA prof that issued her DNA test? This has to be hurting his street cred. I'd be hiding under a desk somewhere and avoiding my colleagues till the smoke clears.

Posted by: LizLem at October 19, 2018 12:00 PM (hvf9s)

198 Sampo is a MST3k reference to a really screwy Finnish-Russian folk lore movie.

Magic mill from the Kalevala.

Posted by: Grey Fox at October 19, 2018 12:00 PM (bZ7mE)

199 Tasted almost like chicken.

Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader Contributing Editor, Vanity Fair Magazine at October 19, 2018 11:56 AM (pUsxC)

It was cat.

Posted by: Insomniac at October 19, 2018 11:58 AM (NWiLs)

If you're lucky.

Posted by: Steve_in_SoCal at October 19, 2018 12:00 PM (q1VoB)

200 Should one spend more on the blow, or on the hookers.

Leave some for me..

Posted by: Viagra and Ecstasy Cocktail at October 19, 2018 12:00 PM (CwrxC)

201 Just read the Wiki write up on 'Down By The River'. Conclusion - even Neil Young has no idea why he shot his baby Down By The River. Drugs can do things like this.

Posted by: Puddin Head - This Is CNN at October 19, 2018 12:00 PM (2LelM)

202 I defense of Scandis, their kids ar permitted and even encouraged to walk themselves to school and or the corner store, before the age of seventeen.

Posted by: sarahW at October 19, 2018 11:57 AM (g1vnC)

Well, they have to provide all those lovely refugees with rape opportunities.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at October 19, 2018 12:01 PM (iwUO9)

203 Why does everyone going against Trump get run over?

Because he's dealt with people like this for almost 50 years. He's run over a hundred guys as bad if not worse than Avenatti. He's dealt with woman worse than Stormy Daniels.

So an Avenatti thinks he can steamroll Trump. How old is this guy? 40s-50s? Trump's been rolling guys like this since before he was born.

As for Warren she's never been in any milieu where she would have to deal with someone like Trump. Sure she's a lawyer, but all she ever did it seems is teach in law school. She simply doesn't have the skill set to outmatch Trump.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at October 19, 2018 12:01 PM (4ErVI)

204 took a ride in a pirot with a little outboard motor in South Louisiana one time, boat held 4 of us. Pretty impressive to pull up next to an alligator that was longer than our boat was. Even more impressive, and worrisome, when he eyeballed us, gave a sniff out his nostrils and just sank into the murkey water, like a submarine. That was when we realized for the first time that something that big, and that dangerous, could completely disappear right in front of our eyes, and suddenly we had no idea at all where he was, or what he was planning next.

So we quickly decided it was time to go look at some other part of the swamp.

Posted by: Tom Servo at October 19, 2018 12:01 PM (Kpl3J)

205 You're saying the canals should be dug in FL?
Posted by: Blake - used bridge salesman at October 19, 2018 11:56 AM (qC1Sy)

Right. And Florida Man should be on permanent canal duty.

Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader & Contributing Editor, Vanity Fair Magazine at October 19, 2018 12:01 PM (pUsxC)

206 186 182 169 If it flies, crawls, or swims,and will sting you, bite you, or eat you , it can be found in Florida.
Posted by: bill in arkansas at October 19, 2018 11:55 AM (xzqr4)

---

and will on the menu in Japan

Posted by: Buzzsaw90 at October 19, 2018 12:02 PM (9qOCq)

207 197 If Lizzie Warren is delude enough to still run in 2020, the DNC debates against her and Biden will be entertaining. He'll keep mixing up indians with feathers and dots and claim she need to back to a 7-11. I would watch.

Have we heard anything more from the DNA prof that issued her DNA test? This has to be hurting his street cred. I'd be hiding under a desk somewhere and avoiding my colleagues till the smoke clears.
--------------------------
Hoping he was a Harvard graduate. Fingers crossed.

Posted by: Puddin Head - This Is CNN at October 19, 2018 12:02 PM (2LelM)

208 You people disgust me...in a good way!

Posted by: DJ Jazzy Mel at October 19, 2018 12:02 PM (xm5UF)

209 So we quickly decided it was time to go look at some other part of the swamp.
Posted by: Tom Servo at October 19, 2018 12:01 PM (Kpl3J)

--------

IMO, your plan first started to go wrong at "swamp"

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at October 19, 2018 12:03 PM (13Al/)

210 193 Good posts up on thedeclination
--

The vocabulary puts that site out of reach for the common man who doesn't get all the cultural references.

You have to be an intellectual to understand all the code words.
Posted by: Joe Styzneac at October 19, 2018 11:58 AM (oYD2h)

Good to stretch and challenge now and then.

I'm thinking of picking up the two-volume Toynbee.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, now with Bad Times at the El Royale review at October 19, 2018 12:03 PM (bcbK8)

211 The alligator's IQ went down 30 points after he ate the guy.

Posted by: JuJuBee, just generally being shamey at October 19, 2018 12:04 PM (2NqXo)

212 Have we heard anything more from the DNA prof that issued her DNA test? This has to be hurting his street cred. I'd be hiding under a desk somewhere and avoiding my colleagues till the smoke clears.
Posted by: LizLem at October 19, 2018 12:00 PM (hvf9s)

Does the smoke clearing mean EOM from Warren?

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at October 19, 2018 12:04 PM (YqDXo)

213 So when we lived in FL. We went on a kayak trip on aart of the Mayaka river they only let a few kayaks a day on. Alligators everywhere and we are sitting on top of a kayak that looks like a floating cracker to an alligator. It was unnerving.

The park ranger told us he stopped an Asian couple attempting to put their child on the back of an alligator for a photo.

Posted by: Cannibal Bob at October 19, 2018 12:04 PM (EzXDh)

214 204 took a ride in a pirot with a little outboard motor in South Louisiana one time, boat held 4 of us. Pretty impressive to pull up next to an alligator that was longer than our boat was. Even more impressive, and worrisome, when he eyeballed us, gave a sniff out his nostrils and just sank into the murkey water, like a submarine. That was when we realized for the first time that something that big, and that dangerous, could completely disappear right in front of our eyes, and suddenly we had no idea at all where he was, or what he was planning next.

So we quickly decided it was time to go look at some other part of the swamp.

Posted by: Tom Servo

So, you had a Hillary sighting?

Posted by: wrg500 at October 19, 2018 12:05 PM (WgCY5)

215 205. Oregon Muse for Florida Oblast komissar of Ministry of Social Correction and Conquest of Nature.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, GECSPLAN, SMR, and Ancient Slavonaut Newsletters at October 19, 2018 12:05 PM (fA1SL)

216 Great post OM. Thanks.

Posted by: Cannibal Bob at October 19, 2018 12:05 PM (EzXDh)

217 211 The alligator's IQ went down 30 points after he ate the guy.
Posted by: JuJuBee, just generally being shamey at October 19, 2018 12:04 PM (2NqXo)

---------

But it's blood alcohol level suddenly spiked.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at October 19, 2018 12:05 PM (13Al/)

218 197 If Lizzie Warren is delude enough to still run in 2020, the DNC debates against her and Biden will be entertaining. He'll keep mixing up indians with feathers and dots and claim she need to back to a 7-11. I would watch.

I suspect the Dem primary debates are going to be EPIC.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at October 19, 2018 12:05 PM (YqDXo)

219 How does Florida have both Alligators and Manatees?

Posted by: Buzzsaw90 at October 19, 2018 12:06 PM (9qOCq)

220 The park ranger told us he stopped an Asian couple attempting to put their child on the back of an alligator for a photo.
Posted by: Cannibal Bob at October 19, 2018 12:04 PM (EzXDh)

In Yellowstone there were tourists who took a baby buffalo and put it in their trunk, claiming the buffalo 'was too cold' in the winter.

Posted by: What's a Seawolf? at October 19, 2018 12:06 PM (72PAC)

221 The park ranger told us he stopped an Asian couple attempting to put their child on the back of an alligator for a photo.
Posted by: Cannibal Bob at October 19, 2018 12:04 PM (EzXDh)

--------

Well, Asian. Sure.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at October 19, 2018 12:06 PM (13Al/)

222 Authorities say a 28 year old Texas man was attacked and killed by an alligator almost immediately after being warned by a bystander not to swim in the water, replying fuck that alligator before jumping in, Buzzfeed reports.

I asked him please do not go swimming, there's a bigger alligator out here, just please stay out of the water, an employee of Burkhart's Marina in Orange, Texas told KFDM. "The next thing I know, I don't even know how long it was, I saw his body floating face down and then he's up there for a couple seconds and then he gets dragged back down and pulled off."

According to police, marina employees put up a sign forbidding swimming after recently spotting a pretty damn big 11 foot alligator in the water.

Posted by: Sphynx at October 19, 2018 12:06 PM (rXie1)

223 Hoping he was a Harvard graduate. Fingers crossed.
Posted by: Puddin Head - This Is CNN at October 19, 2018 12:02 PM (2LelM)

Stanford prof. Carlos Bustamante. Shoulda stuck to mowing lawns.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at October 19, 2018 12:06 PM (YqDXo)

224 You can avoid the gators, but yeah, the mosquitoes can be a bitch. And hurricane season can get right sporty.
Posted by: Insomniac at October 19, 2018 11:46 AM (NWiLs)

----

Hell, pretty sure the mosquitos get ticketed for blocking traffic.

"hurricane season can get right sporty"?

Why does that sound like the Alaskan telling me "it gets a little chilly sometimes"??

Posted by: Cold Rage at October 19, 2018 12:07 PM (Zq4E3)

225 201 Just read the Wiki write up on 'Down By The River'. Conclusion - even Neil Young has no idea why he shot his baby Down By The River. Drugs can do things like this.
Posted by: Puddin Head - This Is CNN at October 19, 2018 12:00 PM (2LelM)

Also, lyrics don't have to be internally logical, which is awesome because most songwriters aren't either.

Posted by: joncelli, because somebody had to at October 19, 2018 12:07 PM (RD7QR)

226 from the Houston Chronicle at the time (2015):
_____

But that didn't deter (Tommie) Woodward, who
showed up early Friday with a young woman,
telling the staff closing the marina's burger
joint that he was jumping in. They begged him
not to, but the 28 year old did anyway and his
friend followed. Suddenly, witnesses told
police, a large alligator emerged from under
the dock.

Posted by: Sphynx at October 19, 2018 12:07 PM (rXie1)

227 211 The alligator's IQ went down 30 points after he ate the guy.

Posted by: JuJuBee, just generally being shamey at October 19, 2018 12:04 PM (2NqXo

Now that's fucking funny!

Posted by: Cannibal Bob at October 19, 2018 12:07 PM (EzXDh)

228 Full Frontal Nudity

Posted by: Grump928(C) at October 19, 2018 12:07 PM (CwrxC)

229 . . .

Sheriff s deputies and park rangers found
Woodward dead in the water more than two hours
later at about 4:30 a.m. near the marina in the
1800 block of Mississippi Street. Orange Police
Capt. Robert Enmon said he suffered major trauma
to his left arm and puncture wounds to his upper
left chest. The alligator attack, the second one
in the region this week, is believed to be the
first fatal encounter in Texas in at least
two centuries.
____

Posted by: Sphynx at October 19, 2018 12:08 PM (rXie1)

230 The park ranger told us he stopped an Asian couple attempting to put their child on the back of an alligator for a photo.
Posted by: Cannibal Bob

The gator would be hungry again in an hour.

Posted by: wrg500 at October 19, 2018 12:08 PM (WgCY5)

231 228 Full Frontal Nudity
Posted by: Grump928(C) at October 19, 2018 12:07 PM (CwrxC)

*Subscribed*

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, now with Bad Times at the El Royale review at October 19, 2018 12:08 PM (bcbK8)

232 220 The park ranger told us he stopped an Asian couple attempting to put their child on the back of an alligator for a photo.
Posted by: Cannibal Bob at October 19, 2018 12:04 PM (EzXDh)

In Yellowstone there were tourists who took a baby buffalo and put it in their trunk, claiming the buffalo 'was too cold' in the winter.
Posted by: What's a Seawolf? at October 19, 2018 12:06 PM (72PAC)

In Yellowstone a park ranger stopped a woman from smearing honey on her child's face, hoping to get a photo of a bear licking the honey off.

Foiled again! - Darwin

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at October 19, 2018 12:08 PM (YqDXo)

233 How does Florida have both Alligators and Manatees?

Posted by: Buzzsaw90 at October 19, 2018 12:06 PM (9qOCq)

Don't let the manatees' soft blubbery appearance, and goofy smile deceive you. They will cut a bitch.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at October 19, 2018 12:08 PM (iwUO9)

234 219 How does Florida have both Alligators and Manatees?
Posted by: Buzzsaw90 at October 19, 2018 12:06 PM (9qOCq)

God has a sense of humor?

Posted by: joncelli, because somebody had to at October 19, 2018 12:08 PM (RD7QR)

235 The trouble people will go to, just to make a decent pair of boots.

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at October 19, 2018 12:08 PM (/qEW2)

236 Should one spend more on the blow, or on the hookers. That it will all be spent is to be expected.
Posted by: Buzzsaw90 at October 19, 2018 11:57 AM (9qOCq)

----

I suspect there's an inverse relationship based on the quality of the hookers.

Posted by: Cold Rage at October 19, 2018 12:08 PM (Zq4E3)

237 Posted by: Sphynx at October 19, 2018 12:08 PM (rXie1)

A two-fer. History making and another proof in the "nothing good happens after midnight".

Posted by: auscolpyr at October 19, 2018 12:09 PM (oFsfu)

238 Nood

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, GECSPLAN, SMR, and Ancient Slavonaut Newsletters at October 19, 2018 12:09 PM (fA1SL)

239 Biden's DNA contains 1/1024th Neil Kinnock.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Tyrannosaur Wrangler at October 19, 2018 12:09 PM (+y/Ru)

240
Well, Asian. Sure.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at October 19, 2018 12:06 PM (13Al/)

Posted by: Cannibal Bob at October 19, 2018 12:10 PM (EzXDh)

241 Nood already?

All right...

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards, now with Bad Times at the El Royale review at October 19, 2018 12:10 PM (bcbK8)

242 Hell, pretty sure the mosquitos get ticketed for blocking traffic.

"hurricane season can get right sporty"?

Why does that sound like the Alaskan telling me "it gets a little chilly sometimes"??
Posted by: Cold Rage at October 19, 2018 12:07 PM (Zq4E3)

I guess when you live here long enough, it does seen as bad as it might from the outside.

Posted by: Insomniac at October 19, 2018 12:10 PM (NWiLs)

243 203 Why does everyone going against Trump get run over?

Because he's dealt with people like this for almost 50 years. He's run over a hundred guys as bad if not worse than Avenatti. He's dealt with woman worse than Stormy Daniels.

So an Avenatti thinks he can steamroll Trump. How old is this guy? 40s-50s? Trump's been rolling guys like this since before he was born.

As for Warren she's never been in any milieu where she would have to deal with someone like Trump. Sure she's a lawyer, but all she ever did it seems is teach in law school. She simply doesn't have the skill set to outmatch Trump.
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at October 19, 2018 12:01 PM (4ErVI)

It's like watching Pee Wee Herman attempt to tackle Jim Brown in his prime.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at October 19, 2018 12:10 PM (YqDXo)

244 A moist bint? Really?

Posted by: The One Who Ends Comment Threads at October 19, 2018 12:11 PM (MceDl)

245 Apparently, according to Grump928(c)'s grumpy emotional outburst on the new Thread, there's a new Thread.

Posted by: Duncanthrax at October 19, 2018 12:11 PM (ctuyM)

246 I can imagine a remake of Avatar about a blonde white American woman leading Indian tribes in a revolt against the White Man. But Warren is too sleazy to play that role.

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at October 19, 2018 12:12 PM (/qEW2)

247 209 So we quickly decided it was time to go look at some other part of the swamp.
Posted by: Tom Servo at October 19, 2018 12:01 PM (Kpl3J)
--------
IMO, your plan first started to go wrong at "swamp"

Probably. It was enlightening, though - we stayed at a cabin in the area, and one of the guys was a net caster, and we went down to a little pier and with every cast (about a 5 foot net) he brought up enough fish and crabs to make a meal. I saw why people lived there, it doesn't take any work at all to find food, you just walk down to the water and pull out as much as you want.

Now where the work comes in is trying to keep everything that's there from eating you, cuz it sure keeps trying. A couple friends duck hunt with hip waders, and they say the unnerving thing about using hip waders is that when you're walking through the thigh and waist deep water, you can feel something living squirming out from under your foot with every step.

Posted by: Tom Servo at October 19, 2018 12:12 PM (Kpl3J)

248 So we quickly decided it was time to go look at some other part of the swamp.

Posted by: Tom Servo at October 19, 2018 12:01 PM

*****
Was fishing on the Columbia River a couple months ago for sturgeon. Ugly, prehistoric bastards but they can get big. The biggest one of the day was over 12 feet. A monster.
Skipper of the charter said he hadn't seen one that big in a few years. Interesting factoid, they live a long time. That one was probably swimming the Columbia when Lewis and Clark paddled overhead.
We, of course, let it go.

Posted by: Diogenes at October 19, 2018 12:12 PM (0tfLf)

249 190 There's a Chinese restaurant just north of New Orleans on the other end of Lake Pontchartrain that has 'Szechuan Alligator' on the menu.

Tasted almost like chicken.
Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader & Contributing Editor, Vanity Fair Magazine at October 19, 2018 11:56 AM (pUsxC)

It was cat.
Posted by: Insomniac at October 19, 2018 11:58 AM (NWiLs)
---
try the chow mein next time; its purrrrfect!

Posted by: the Butcher at October 19, 2018 12:12 PM (DIosY)

250 The alligator attack, the second one
in the region this week, is believed to be the
first fatal encounter in Texas in at least
two centuries.
____
Posted by: Sphynx

PROOF of the dumbing down of society!

Posted by: rickb223 at October 19, 2018 12:12 PM (hAdu/)

251 Some good news. UK grooming gang that Tommy Robinson went off on and got sent to jail, gets a combined 200+ years in jail.

https://tinyurl.com/y7w3doln

Posted by: JackStraw at October 19, 2018 12:13 PM (/tuJf)

252 There's a Chinese restaurant just north of New Orleans on the other end of Lake Pontchartrain that has 'Szechuan Alligator' on the menu.

Tasted almost like chicken.
Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader & Contributing Editor, Vanity Fair Magazine at October 19, 2018 11:56 AM (pUsxC)

It was cat.
Posted by: Insomniac at October 19, 2018 11:58 AM (NWiLs)
---
try the chow mein next time; its purrrrfect!
Posted by: the Butcher

Try the Purina Chow mein.

Posted by: rickb223 at October 19, 2018 12:13 PM (hAdu/)

253 I love these threads. There was a glass bottom boat tour in Crystal River Florida (crystal clear spring water) and the guide said they would probably see an alligator swimming under the boat. They did. With a body in its mouth. They place signs in mating areas along the river to warn snorkelers to stay away during that time. Yeah...no.

Posted by: Cannibal Bob at October 19, 2018 12:14 PM (EzXDh)

254 246 I can imagine a remake of Avatar about a blonde white American woman leading Indian tribes in a revolt against the White Man. But Warren is too sleazy to play that role."

How about a prequel where it's some heroic civil war soldier who goes by himself out to the frontier and is befriended by the Noble and Heroic plains Indians, who help him to realize that White Culture is Evil and Wasteful and Hateful. I wonder if anyone will ever make a movie like that.

Posted by: Tom Servo at October 19, 2018 12:17 PM (Kpl3J)

255 Was fishing on the Columbia River a couple months ago for sturgeon. Ugly, prehistoric bastards but they can get big. The biggest one of the day was over 12 feet. A monster.
Skipper of the charter said he hadn't seen one that big in a few years. Interesting factoid, they live a long time. That one was probably swimming the Columbia when Lewis and Clark paddled overhead.
We, of course, let it go.
Posted by: Diogenes

Wow. They date back 245 to 208 million years ago to the Triassic period.

Posted by: rickb223 at October 19, 2018 12:17 PM (hAdu/)

256 >>>So does this all mean that Lizzie Warren's crab dip recipe isn't authentic Cherokee?<<<

It isn't even authentic crab.

Posted by: White Dove Warren at October 19, 2018 12:19 PM (2Mnv1)

257
The guy killed by the alligator either lives in Florida now or did in the past, amirite?

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at October 19, 2018 01:04 PM (pNxlR)

258
"If I were the president, I would be on my knees every night, thanking God that my enemies are so stupid."

I like the ancient Greek take: those the gods choose to destroy, first they drive mad. Trump is simply standing in for Nemesis.

If the gator story had featured Florida Man, it would have been "Florida man charged with bestiality after fucking gator".

Posted by: I R A Darth Aggie at October 19, 2018 01:57 PM (1hM1d)

259 Saw my very first wild alligator today.

Posted by: Igotnothing at October 19, 2018 07:01 PM (lxioR)

260 Alligator: 1, Beto-voter: 0.

Posted by: Jonah Kyle at October 19, 2018 08:17 PM (CkNGY)

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