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The Unfunny Musings of the Unfunny Jonah Goldberg: A New Occasional Series

All just from the past two days.

Enjoy!

References are not the same as humor or wit, Jonah. So, you know Twain's quote, "The coldest winter I ever spent was the a summer in San Francisco." Congrats. All college freshmen know this quote.



Two references in this one. Do you get it? No but like: Do you get it? He's using words other people have used and that's funny because Memory Tickles.



Another reference. Swamp Thing. Because "Swamp."

Do you get it? Do you 'member?

Do you like when people make you 'member some feelz?



This one's a threefer. One, it's a grumbleflaunt, where he complains about Steven Colbert having made him the butt of a joke, but the real message is "I'm important enough that Steven Colbert made me the butt of a joke."

Two, it's a reference. We know how much Couch McStarTrek loves references.

Three, it's specifically a reference to a 2009 meme about whether Hot Dogs Are Sandwiches, which is a cyberflirting-with-other-heavyset-male-twitter-addicts Fake Argument "Humor" bit he's been doing for a while.



This may shock you, but here's another reference.

Do you get it? Do you remember 1975?



Another reference. Do you guys remember 1976? Or 1895, or whenever the original book was published?




References are funny because they're things you know other people said and so you're all like "Wait a minute, you didn't say that, some other person said it!" and that's funny because that's just crazy that two different people would say the same thing.

Like "Jinx, buy me a coke!"

Do you 'member that? It's fun to 'member things.

Here's some more cyberflirting, this time with the archliberal Dave Wiegel.



Here's more of that gayballz flirting with men about a contrived fake argument about pizza:



This seems to be a reference to a 2011 meme which wasn't very funny when Charlie Sheen was using it:



Ninjas are still a meme, right? I mean, they were a meme in 2007 when we all knew 1, Ninjas are awesome, 2, Ninjas are totally sweet, and 3, Ninjas just go crazy and kill everybody.

I don't know what this one is. It seems to yet another contrived play-fight to cyberflirt, combined with a reference.



More of the Hot Dog Isn't a Sandwich Fake-Fight, and therefore more cyberflirting with men.



Reference!!!



Do you guys remember 1988? Because Jonah Goldberg totally remembers 1988.

Hey, you're not gonna believe this, but this one is 1, a Reference, and 2, a callback to an old, tired meme from 2012. And I think I have some authority to say this is an old, tired meme from 2012, because it originated on this very site (thanks to Slublog and LauraW, if I remember right).



By the way: No disrespect intended to Slublog or LauraW. It was very funny in 2012. And then in 2013, and 2014 too. A bit.

But now six years later? It's kind of losing the freshness and invention it once had.

This next one isn't a reference, I don't think. It's just not funny.



Here, Jonah Goldberg tells Rudy Giuliani he "missed the joke" of saying that Rudy is smoking like a fiend worrying about Trump's next tweet.



I think we all missed that joke, Johah.

You should have just done a nice reference.

Oh wait: You did that too:



All these failed jokes and not-even-jokes cutesy-pie references and cyberflirts were collected from just the last 48 hours. I'm not even including all the dog stuff or the stupid repetition of Stock Twitter Phrases like "Shots fired" or "What could go wrong?"

I'll stop here. I've punished you enough.

If anyone really wants to send my blood pressure spiking, an easy way to do so is to say, "I like Jonah Goldberg, he's the funny conservative."

Posted by: Ace of Spades at 04:52 PM




Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Tater totz!!!

Posted by: Lizzy at August 08, 2018 04:54 PM (W+vEI)

2 Trump has destroyed everyone who opposes him. They aren't even coherent anymore.

Posted by: huerfano at August 08, 2018 04:55 PM (L9nK5)

3 member cosby with his jello pudding pops

that's so crazy

Posted by: ace at August 08, 2018 04:55 PM (PA9oZ)

4 What, no Buffy the Vampire Slayer references?!

Posted by: Lizzy at August 08, 2018 04:55 PM (W+vEI)

5 I'm here all week! Try the veal!!

Posted by: Jonah Goldberg at August 08, 2018 04:56 PM (jDF8P)

6 Jesus Ace, you need to get off twatter for a bit. Go look at a tree or something.

Posted by: Alskari at August 08, 2018 04:56 PM (tdVTp)

7 No Simpsons references. Profoundly disappointed.

Posted by: The Poster Formerly Known as Mr. Barky at August 08, 2018 04:57 PM (hKi6n)

8 How cold WAS it, Jonah?

Posted by: Bill Kristol at August 08, 2018 04:57 PM (jDF8P)

9 I am Twitter, destroyer of reputations.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at August 08, 2018 04:57 PM (uSlc8)

10 Boobs can talk? Now we have to rethink boobs?

Posted by: Steve Earle Song Ideas at August 08, 2018 04:58 PM (PvCxa)

11 No Simpsons references. Profoundly disappointed.
Posted by: The Poster Formerly Known as Mr. Barky at August 08, 2018 04:57 PM (hKi6n)


Just wait. He's about to make a Witty Observation about the term "jumbo shrimp."

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at August 08, 2018 04:59 PM (uSlc8)

12 That's a lotta content.

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at August 08, 2018 04:59 PM (H7LIz)

13 So, can somebody remind me who is the Joan Goldberg?

Posted by: Eromero at August 08, 2018 04:59 PM (zLDYs)

14 At least he quit talking about fucking squirrels and his dog right?

Posted by: Lancelot Link Secret Agent Chimp at August 08, 2018 04:59 PM (khWYc)

15
23 Skidoo!

Posted by: naturalfake at August 08, 2018 04:59 PM (z7pBf)

16 Maybe next he'll steal Voltaire's bon mot about the Holy Roman Empire.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at August 08, 2018 05:00 PM (uSlc8)

17 But references and dank memes are the only humor I have as well. FeelsBadMan

Posted by: goodluckduck at August 08, 2018 05:00 PM (rwaEp)

18 So, I guess this means that you won't be inviting Jonah over for dinner, Ace?

What does Kayfabe mean?

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 08, 2018 05:00 PM (AllCR)

19 It's a dingo, Lancelot.

Posted by: goodluckduck at August 08, 2018 05:01 PM (rwaEp)

20 I know his 'I'm hearing the exact opposite' quip is not original but it's still always funny.

Posted by: Lancelot Link Secret Agent Chimp at August 08, 2018 05:01 PM (khWYc)

21 The vermouth/world peace not is a Groundhog Day reference.

Posted by: Frasier Crane at August 08, 2018 05:01 PM (zncB8)

22 But it might be better for your blood pressure, Ace, if you didn't read Jonah Goldberg. :^)

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 08, 2018 05:01 PM (AllCR)

23 David French calls Jonah Goldberg a "gentleman"... 'nuff said.....

Posted by: kraken at August 08, 2018 05:02 PM (ffWPP)

24 Nod

Posted by: Frasier Crane at August 08, 2018 05:02 PM (zncB8)

25 Is this non-funny idiot fvcking gay? Because if he isn't he should be.

Posted by: Under Fire at August 08, 2018 05:02 PM (r9UYA)

26 Deep Impact > Armageddon

Posted by: Grump928(c) at August 08, 2018 05:02 PM (yQpMk)

27 If references are out, we are so screwed.

That's what she said...

Posted by: DangerGirl and her 1.21 Gigawatt SanityProd (tm) at August 08, 2018 05:03 PM (SRarZ)

28 Good heaven, Jonah made no sense to me in any of those tweets. Though the golden retriever puppies are too adorable for words.

Posted by: IC, now with extra super elite at August 08, 2018 05:03 PM (a0IVu)

29
Jonah is like the Klondike bar of humor.

And Ace is like the Eskimo Pie.


Remember Eskimo Pies?

They weren't really pies....Not like an apple pie.


I like pie.

Posted by: naturalfake at August 08, 2018 05:03 PM (z7pBf)

30 Deep Impact > Armageddon
Posted by: Grump928(c) at August 08, 2018 05:02 PM (yQpMk)

Shut your whore mouth!

Posted by: Lancelot Link Secret Agent Chimp at August 08, 2018 05:03 PM (khWYc)

31 Too bad all those tweets don't burn calories -- he'll be scooter-bound in 5 years at the rate he's going.

Posted by: brak at August 08, 2018 05:03 PM (VckGX)

32 David French calls Jonah Goldberg a "gentleman"... 'nuff said.....


He doesn't wipe his dick on the bedspread.

Posted by: Grump928(c) at August 08, 2018 05:03 PM (yQpMk)

33 Colbert apparently called Goldberg a Trump supporter.

Posted by: steevy at August 08, 2018 05:03 PM (LiyEm)

34 I like pestilence. He's the funny horseman of the apocalypse.

Posted by: bananadream at August 08, 2018 05:03 PM (YR7aL)

35 >>Deep Impact > Armageddon


Whaaaaaaat?

Posted by: Lizzy at August 08, 2018 05:03 PM (W+vEI)

36 Jonah Goldberg was obviously a terrible movie

Posted by: Methos at August 08, 2018 05:03 PM (XQvuQ)

37 Couldn't make it through the content ... just too much comedy wisdom to digest in one sitting.

Just gonna' go hang on Facebook. What could go wrong ?

Posted by: ScoggDog at August 08, 2018 05:04 PM (MzU3W)

38 Pretty lame, Jonah.

Posted by: Chris M at August 08, 2018 05:04 PM (eAZVt)

39 National Review...nuff said.

Posted by: nip at August 08, 2018 05:04 PM (ECLaL)

40 Punching down, ace?

Posted by: Rob Crawford at August 08, 2018 05:04 PM (w+vzi)

41 An additional bonus reason to stay off Twitter: should you become notable, Ace will have no reason to lambaste you in top-notch and humiliating form.

Great work, Ace. It's always best when they do it to themselves and you just have to cough, point, and just a dash of snark to take it over line.

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at August 08, 2018 05:04 PM (I2dne)

42 A Swamp Thing clip without Adrienne Barbeau's boobs is just ghey.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at August 08, 2018 05:04 PM (fuK7c)

43 it's terrible to pick on old white (disabled?) men like this ... leave the poor demented geriatrics alone with their false memories. /s

Posted by: illiniwek at August 08, 2018 05:04 PM (bT8Z4)

44 Come on, show a little compassion. These guys are officially and unofficially screwed. They sold out on Conservative politics in order to castigate good old Nationalism (which is only racist in the small minds of over-compensating, projecting racists).

Where do they go next? We don't want them. The Left is only using them as useful idiots. Eventually, the Left will have had enough of their patronizing bullshit and discard them. Presto... Unemployable whiners.

Posted by: Orson at August 08, 2018 05:05 PM (e247n)

45 The 13th Floor > The Matrix

Posted by: Grump928(c) at August 08, 2018 05:05 PM (yQpMk)

46 They Live is a good movie until you realize Carpenter used the aliens as a stand in for the Reagan admin.

Posted by: steevy at August 08, 2018 05:05 PM (LiyEm)

47 Barry Goldberg > Jonah Goldberg

Posted by: Chris M at August 08, 2018 05:05 PM (eAZVt)

48 Jonah's only here to tweet sh#t and chew bubble-gum, and...he's all out of bubble-gum, you guys!!

Posted by: Lizzy at August 08, 2018 05:05 PM (W+vEI)

49 Jonah's mom took on the Clinton Crime Family when they were at their strongest and lived to tell about it.

Apparently Jonah's not sure if he's going to survive #meantweetshurtman

Posted by: 18-1 at August 08, 2018 05:05 PM (eSx+E)

50 What Jonah knows about kayfabe couldn't fill a thimble

Posted by: the_real_ch3 at August 08, 2018 05:06 PM (IG5KL)

51 Jonah Goldberg used to be a pretty good guy. Too bad he turned to shit.

Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at August 08, 2018 05:06 PM (mpXpK)

52 What was Jonah doing in Ballstown?

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at August 08, 2018 05:06 PM (IqV8l)

53 None of this is remotely amusing, but I'll admit it's marginally more highbrow than nonstop Harry Potter and Game of
Thrones references.

Some of these reach back a full four decades of pop culture!

Posted by: social media cricket at August 08, 2018 05:06 PM (+INtM)

54 Bobcat Goldthwait > Jonah Goldberg

Posted by: Grump928(c) at August 08, 2018 05:06 PM (yQpMk)

55 How much time does he have on his hands to sit around and make really stupid dad jokes? Doesn't he have a house to clean, a project to work on or dinner to make?

Posted by: moki at August 08, 2018 05:06 PM (V+V48)

56 Can someone get Mr. Goldberg some Lithium?
Or set him up with a psych visit stat?

Please?
I am concerned.

Posted by: shibumi at August 08, 2018 05:06 PM (SbIX4)

57 Lately I keep having the same reaction to Goldberg.

How in the living fuck is this the guy that wrote Liberal Fascism.

Posted by: RYAN FRANK at August 08, 2018 05:06 PM (EKxGt)

58 Like the Simpsons he should have been retired in the 1990's

Posted by: Jihadi at August 08, 2018 05:06 PM (Sqih2)

59

I don't git it?

Posted by: Baby Huey at August 08, 2018 05:06 PM (LilNs)

60 A Swamp Thing clip without Adrienne Barbeau's boobs is just ghey.
Posted by: Bandersnatch at August 08, 2018 05:04 PM (fuK7c)


More important, what is Swamp Thing with Adrienne Barbeau's Boobs?

Discuss.

#SwampTransThing

Posted by: naturalfake at August 08, 2018 05:06 PM (z7pBf)

61 I'm glad I'm a nobody.

If ace took a collection of my tweets and comments on this site and shredded them like this, I'd probably quit the internet for a day or two.

Posted by: bonhomme at August 08, 2018 05:07 PM (9qZ3S)

62 Deep Impact was indeed far superior to Armageddon if you can get past Tea Leoni as an MSNBC reporter getting the scoop of all time....

Posted by: steevy at August 08, 2018 05:07 PM (LiyEm)

63 Haha Ace!

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at August 08, 2018 05:07 PM (4ErVI)

64 Rush 2112 > 2012 (2009)

Posted by: Grump928(c) at August 08, 2018 05:08 PM (yQpMk)

65 Bill Goldberg > Jonah Goldberg

Posted by: brak at August 08, 2018 05:08 PM (VckGX)

66 Who?

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at August 08, 2018 05:08 PM (5jVnA)

67 What, no Buffy the Vampire Slayer references?!

___

Metoo Jonah, metoo. Those were the good old days weren't they?

Posted by: Joss Whedon at August 08, 2018 05:08 PM (eSx+E)

68 My goodness. Everyone knows you wipe your dick on the drapes.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at August 08, 2018 05:08 PM (89T5c)

69 Interestingly the American theatrical release did not include the boobage,only the European cut did.Thankfully the twins were restored to their rightful place for later video and DVD/Blu Ray releases..

Posted by: steevy at August 08, 2018 05:08 PM (LiyEm)

70 Gremlins > E.T.

Posted by: Grump928(c) at August 08, 2018 05:08 PM (yQpMk)

71 And after every single one of these tweets, Johna sits back and does the *kisses fingers* move.

Posted by: DangerGirl and her 1.21 Gigawatt SanityProd (tm) at August 08, 2018 05:08 PM (SRarZ)

72 I'm here to explain everything!

Okay, not really. I'm here to explain one thing!

Shirlandria refers to the Shirlington/Alexandria area near DC, full of hipsters and their eating places.

That's all I've got.

Posted by: bluebell at August 08, 2018 05:08 PM (JJZzu)

73 Barbeau's boobs bobble brazenly when brushed by a burgeoning boner.

Posted by: The Chick Who Sells Sea Shells By The Seashore at August 08, 2018 05:09 PM (uSlc8)

74 And just the other day I brought up the Die Hard Christmas movie thing here when someone mentioned the movie.

I had no idea that was a Twitter meme. I thought it was a blog meme. I only ever saw it mentioned here.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at August 08, 2018 05:09 PM (4ErVI)

75 53 None of this is remotely amusing, but I'll admit it's marginally more highbrow than nonstop Harry Potter and Game of
Thrones references.

Some of these reach back a full four decades of pop culture!
Posted by: social media cricket at August 08, 2018 05:06 PM (+INtM)

Heh, heh... it's always Voldemort, and for God's Sake Harry, shut up about yer freaking parents already.... just go get laid!!!!

Posted by: kraken at August 08, 2018 05:09 PM (ffWPP)

76 Well, THANKS. After holding out as long as I could, I un-followed Jonah a couple of weeks ago, (I like dogs more than people). And now I know I haven't missed a goddam thing.

Posted by: Publius II at August 08, 2018 05:09 PM (aZ8cu)

77 I bet Jonah's wife has a lot to do with his disdain for Trump.

Posted by: steevy at August 08, 2018 05:09 PM (LiyEm)

78 What does Kayfabe mean?

It's a pro wrestling term they stole from carnies. It basically refers to the idea you don't want to ever reveal the fakery behind the scenes. Even in public, you act like the show is real, the rivalries are real, the wrestling is real. You don't break character.

Posted by: bonhomme at August 08, 2018 05:10 PM (9qZ3S)

79 Kiss of the Spider Woman > Spider Man (any of them)

Posted by: Grump928(c) at August 08, 2018 05:10 PM (yQpMk)

80 Don't look at me!

He's doing this stuff at *work*.

I know. Someone actually pays this tool to (air quotes) engage the readers (air quotes). I can see why they keep having online beg-a-thons...

Posted by: The Couch at August 08, 2018 05:10 PM (W+vEI)

81 Boobs can talk? Now we have to rethink boobs?
Posted by: Steve Earle Song Ideas

But first I must stop thinking about boobs.

Posted by: wrg500 at August 08, 2018 05:10 PM (Bdeb0)

82 That's all I've got.

Posted by: bluebell at August 08, 2018 05:08 PM (JJZzu)

I used to live in Ballston when I first joined State. A few really good ethnic eateries, as well as a Cuban place that we were told to avoid because they were all spies. Also Ballston Commons Mall, which was meh.

But I can kinda understand thinking it's a boring place. It is.

Posted by: moki at August 08, 2018 05:10 PM (V+V48)

83 WTF?

Posted by: Ballston NY at August 08, 2018 05:10 PM (EATOD)

84 Shirlandria refers to the Shirlington/Alexandria area near DC, full of hipsters and their eating places.

Alexandria gets mashed up with everything. There's also "Arlandria" (Arlington + Alexandria), where Dave Grohl grew up and now name-drops repeatedly on Foo Fighters records.

Posted by: Ian S. at August 08, 2018 05:10 PM (ZGrMX)

85 We know how much Couch McStarTrek loves references.

i used to read jonah a lot back in the day, but i never knew the couch had a surname.

Posted by: Anachronda at August 08, 2018 05:10 PM (xGZ+b)

86 I used to think Jonah was funny.

Oh, Jonah Goldberg, not the "Book of Jonah."

My mistake.

Carry on.

Posted by: Blake - used bridge salesman at August 08, 2018 05:10 PM (qC1Sy)

87 DOES BEN ROETHLISBERGER EXPLAIN WHY THING ARE *NOT* FUNNY?

Posted by: Hands at August 08, 2018 05:10 PM (EzdLW)

88 My God, I couldn't read all of those. It's like a rape room made of bad jokes and homoeroticism.

Posted by: Dr Spank at August 08, 2018 05:11 PM (4e+hS)

89 I'm not a bandwagon kind of guy and can say I have always disliked Goldberg based on his required Republican equivocation in every column he wrote criticizing the Democrats. Ann Coulter writes more witty lines while having her morning coffee than Goldberg has written in a decade. And he can't stand it.

Posted by: Lancelot Link Secret Agent Chimp at August 08, 2018 05:11 PM (khWYc)

90 If ace took a collection of my tweets and comments on this site and shredded them like this, I'd probably quit the internet for a day or two.
Posted by: bonhomme at August 08, 2018 05:07 PM (9qZ3S)
----------

I'd cancel my internet. And I don't even have Twitter. I'm sure I've said enough dumb things right here to last a lifetime.

Posted by: bluebell at August 08, 2018 05:11 PM (JJZzu)

91 "Do you guys remember 1988? Because Jonah Goldberg totally remembers 1988."

-----------

Hey, he would rather remember anything else than what he has become - an irrelevance - to the people he wants to influence. We don't care what he says, the only purpose he serves now is to be a comic reference to the "cool people". If he were really funny they would hate him.

Posted by: Decaf at August 08, 2018 05:11 PM (CJmlv)

92 Bosch>Goliath....

Posted by: kraken at August 08, 2018 05:11 PM (ffWPP)

93 Frankly I don't understand why he's dropping all these recent references because the readership of NRO must be close to 90 by now.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at August 08, 2018 05:11 PM (4ErVI)

94 Boobs can talk? Now we have to rethink boobs?"

Don't tas...er, squeeze me, dude.

Posted by: Anon a mouse at August 08, 2018 05:11 PM (6qErC)

95 >>77
I bet Jonah's wife has a lot to do with his disdain for Trump.

What's his name?

Posted by: Under Fire at August 08, 2018 05:11 PM (r9UYA)

96 Come on, show a little compassion. These guys are officially and unofficially screwed. They sold out on Conservative politics in order to castigate good old Nationalism (which is only racist in the small minds of over-compensating, projecting racists).

Where do they go next?



Jonestown.

Hey! I'm being compassionate. End it quickly instead of slumming on skid row for 20 years.

Posted by: rickb223 at August 08, 2018 05:11 PM (REkPr)

97 I bet Jonah's wife has a lot to do with his disdain for Trump.
Posted by: steevy at August 08, 2018 05:09 PM (LiyEm)

Are you implying that Jonah Goldberg isn't a real man who thinks for himself?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at August 08, 2018 05:11 PM (uSlc8)

98 >>>14 At least he quit talking about fucking squirrels and his dog right?


Oh dear no. There were dozens of dog tweets. I didn't include them though because most weren't trying to be funny.

Posted by: Ace at August 08, 2018 05:12 PM (PA9oZ)

99 @JonahNRO
Just wait for my piece explaining why your own libel/slander standard justifies banning you from this site precisely because of your ludicrous pizza take.

----

Mark Steyn (^former^ NRO contributor) unavailable for comment. Tied up in court with Michael Mann.

Posted by: Hands at August 08, 2018 05:12 PM (EzdLW)

100 LOL. That was me mayor. You missed the joke. Or maybe you're so stressed you don't think his tweets are a laughing matter anymore? And I know you smoke cigars. Last time I was at the Havana Room (actually every time) you were there.

Yikes! This is douchebaggery on a scale not yet devised.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at August 08, 2018 05:12 PM (sdl8C)

101
Now playing at the Holiday Inn in Possum Snot, Kentucky, it's Jonah Goldberg!

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at August 08, 2018 05:12 PM (LsBY9)

102

Yoo-Hoo, Mrs.Goldberg


https://youtu.be/LwtJhlKW47k

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at August 08, 2018 05:12 PM (IqV8l)

103 That is some retarded, totally gay sh*t right there.

Posted by: Bosk at August 08, 2018 05:12 PM (fjMEv)

104 83 WTF?
Posted by: Ballston NY at August 08, 2018 05:10 PM (EATOD)

I'm guessing he meant Ballston, Virginia. It's actually just a neighborhood in Arlington, VA, based on the Metro stop. Like I said, kinda meh.

Posted by: moki at August 08, 2018 05:12 PM (V+V48)

105 Jonah Hill > Jonah Goldberg

Posted by: Lancelot Link Secret Agent Chimp at August 08, 2018 05:12 PM (khWYc)

106 I feel sorry for Jonah. He must have anosmia, because he sure can't smell all the farts launched in his general direction.

Posted by: Ben Had at August 08, 2018 05:13 PM (fIPpO)

107 remember when the black cat went by, and it was just like the black cat that went by earlier?

well that was a movie scene, but it doesn't mean anything in real life, cats do that. And repeating lines from old movies or old blog posts also doesn't mean anything. One discussion about hot dog/sandwich is more than enough. Save the nostalgia reflections for pictures of the kids as you grow old. Stop waxing poetic over inane blog posts of yesteryear.

But then ... cucks are gonna cuck.

Posted by: illiniwek at August 08, 2018 05:13 PM (bT8Z4)

108 Goldberg kid from the mighty ducks > Jonah Goldberg

Posted by: Anon a mouse at August 08, 2018 05:13 PM (6qErC)

109 A man with so little insight into the current political reality still gets a commenting gig with Fox? He must be in the same category as Marie Harf and Jessica Tarlow - shilling for liberals.

Posted by: Decaf at August 08, 2018 05:13 PM (CJmlv)

110 If we couldn't post old movie lines I'd be in single digits.

Posted by: Grump928(c) at August 08, 2018 05:14 PM (yQpMk)

111 IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE REFERENCES & MEMES MAKE UP HALF OF THE POSTS HERE!

Posted by: BEN ROETHLISBERGER at August 08, 2018 05:14 PM (7HtZB)

112 Rube Goldberg>Jonah Goldberg

Posted by: kraken at August 08, 2018 05:14 PM (ffWPP)

113 Boobs can talk?
Posted by: Steve Earle Song Ideas


24/7

Posted by: CNN Hosts and Expert Panelists at August 08, 2018 05:14 PM (EzdLW)

114 I remember the podcast you had with Jonah several years back, it was very entertaining. Seems you've now gone after the same people you courted to be on your podcast. What changed?

Posted by: Ryan at August 08, 2018 05:14 PM (blRcL)

115 Jonah "Buzzfeed" Goldberg.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at August 08, 2018 05:14 PM (oVJmc)

116 >>DOES BEN ROETHLISBERGER EXPLAIN WHY THING ARE *NOT* FUNNY?






Bless you! That was funny!

Posted by: The Couch at August 08, 2018 05:14 PM (W+vEI)

117 If anyone really wants to send my blood pressure spiking, an easy way to do so is to say, "I like Jonah Goldberg, he's the funny conservative."

haha

That cruise ship has sailed.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at August 08, 2018 05:14 PM (sdl8C)

118 How did yesterday s story about the bike riding masterbater shot by the old lady pass by the horde without someone mentioning a boneshaker?

Posted by: Downcast at August 08, 2018 05:14 PM (ptBBM)

119 If anyone really wants to send my blood pressure spiking, an easy way to do so is to say, "I like Jonah Goldberg, he's the funny conservative."
Posted by: Ace of Spades at 04:52 PM


And, given the nature of the Horde, you're going to be hearing that very thing for YEARS. Years.

Posted by: joncelli, because somebody had to at August 08, 2018 05:14 PM (RD7QR)

120 I've always loved the bass lines in eminence front. The Ox rocks.

Posted by: Bosk at August 08, 2018 05:14 PM (fjMEv)

121 Thanks Ace, the overinfusion of unfunny tweets gave me cancer of the funny bone. I'd laugh except all of human existence now seem grey, banal, void of light and warmth. Anyone want to watch some French new wave movies together as we smoke filterless cigarettes in my basement?

Posted by: broseidon, semi-official komodo dragon shifter at August 08, 2018 05:14 PM (oZ6kz)

122
I'm guessing he meant Ballston, Virginia. It's actually just a neighborhood in Arlington, VA, based on the Metro stop. Like I said, kinda meh.
Posted by: moki at August 08, 2018 05:12 PM (V+V4
----------

I'm sure that's what he meant, too. Like you say, crowded and boring, big mall I've never gone near and metro station, but also more hipster eateries.

They're everywhere.

Posted by: bluebell at August 08, 2018 05:14 PM (JJZzu)

123 Now playing at the Holiday Inn in Possum Snot, Kentucky,"

Bucksnort.

And yes, it's a real place.

Posted by: Anon a mouse at August 08, 2018 05:14 PM (6qErC)

124 The Goldbergs is funny.

This Goldberg is not.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at August 08, 2018 05:14 PM (oVJmc)

125 What changed?


The Big Reveal

Posted by: Grump928(c) at August 08, 2018 05:15 PM (yQpMk)

126 And the line Goldberg is most famous for is a Simpson's line right?

Cheese eating surrender monkeys

Posted by: Lancelot Link Secret Agent Chimp at August 08, 2018 05:15 PM (khWYc)

127 57 Lately I keep having the same reaction to Goldberg.

How in the living fuck is this the guy that wrote Liberal Fascism.
Posted by: RYAN FRANK at August 08, 2018 05:06 PM (EKxGt)

I think he gave us a clue.

Even in that book - he portrayed Hillary's worst fault as "too motherly". He went on and on about it. She'd bring Socialism with a Smiley Face.

Looking back ... Jonah told us then. He just didn't think Hilz was all that bad. Just another Matriarch of a Patrician Family.

Posted by: ScoggDog at August 08, 2018 05:15 PM (MzU3W)

128 Adrienne Barbeau's tits>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Jonah Goldberg

Posted by: steevy at August 08, 2018 05:15 PM (LiyEm)

129 @jaynordlinger
...The space for sanity seems ever shrinking.

---

Perhaps you and Mona should quit shrinking it, Jay. I used to respect you.

Posted by: Hands at August 08, 2018 05:15 PM (EzdLW)

130 Rube Goldberg → → → ↘


Jonah Goldberg

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at August 08, 2018 05:15 PM (uSlc8)

131 The Goldbergs is funny.

This Goldberg is not.
Posted by: Mr. Peebles at August 08, 2018 05:14 PM (oVJmc)

The Smother is hilarious.

Posted by: Lancelot Link Secret Agent Chimp at August 08, 2018 05:15 PM (khWYc)

132 Mark Steyn (^former^ NRO contributor) unavailable for comment. Tied up in court with Michael Mann.
Posted by: Hands
-------------

Point to the tree ring that hurt you, Mr. Mann.

Posted by: Mark Steyn at August 08, 2018 05:16 PM (xSo9G)

133 Jonah fucks squirrels? It must be a Rocky relationship.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at August 08, 2018 05:16 PM (89T5c)

134 Adam Schiff

@RepAdamSchiff
59 seconds ago

Add GOP Rep. Collins, arrested today for insider trading, to the list of the indicted, convicted or disgraced that surround the President Gates, Manafort, Flynn, Pruitt, Jackson, Price, Papadopoulos, Porter

For a complete list, Twitter will need to expand character limit.

What a jackass

Posted by: wrg500 at August 08, 2018 05:16 PM (Bdeb0)

135 Jessica Gavora wrote some pretty conservative things before she stopped writing (retired to raise her kid maybe?)

It really isn't clear what happened to Goldberg.

Posted by: 18-1 at August 08, 2018 05:16 PM (eSx+E)

136 Didn't get any of his jokes. Maybe I am slow. I'll give them another shot.

Posted by: washrivergal at August 08, 2018 05:16 PM (Kcf2u)

137 ....and did it myyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy way!Thank you!! Goodnight everybody!!!

Posted by: Jonah Goldberg at August 08, 2018 05:16 PM (jDF8P)

138 Posted by: bonhomme at August 08, 2018 05:10 PM (9qZ3S)

Thanks very much.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at August 08, 2018 05:16 PM (AllCR)

139 Please, God. Is one little apocalypse too much to ask?

Mother, 49, Of Transgender Son Reveals She Donated Her Uterus

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, 3-D Printed Version at August 08, 2018 05:16 PM (+y/Ru)

140 Milk??


Milk is in chocolate cake!!!

Posted by: Kreplach at August 08, 2018 05:17 PM (upD/b)

141 Mother, 49, Of Transgender Son Reveals She Donated Her Uterus


There goes the Monty Python meme. It was good while it lasted.

Posted by: Grump928(c) at August 08, 2018 05:17 PM (yQpMk)

142 Do not know about how sane things are now, but Trump has provided a great deal of clarity.....

Posted by: kraken at August 08, 2018 05:17 PM (ffWPP)

143 Checked a friend's Twitter, to see if the Daily News has laid him off yet...and it's 100% anti-Trump retweets.

I don't think he realizes there's not gonna be another writing job after this one. He better buy a pair of work boots.

Posted by: Oschisms at August 08, 2018 05:17 PM (U8S27)

144 Oh goody Schiff for brains,make sure to expand the fharacter limit further to list the indicted,disgraced Democrats.

Posted by: steevy at August 08, 2018 05:17 PM (LiyEm)

145 Dingo ate his funny bone.

Posted by: Monkfish at August 08, 2018 05:17 PM (a1s18)

146 As far as I'm concerned the only pro crypto-cuckold I know is Jonah Goldberg.

YSWIDT?

Posted by: Fritz at August 08, 2018 05:18 PM (JpWcH)

147 Forget it, Ace. It's Vaginatown ..

Posted by: ShainS at August 08, 2018 05:18 PM (2XyT4)

148 Adrienne Barbeau's tits>>>>>>>pretty much everything else in the 70's.

FIFY

Posted by: Anon a mouse at August 08, 2018 05:18 PM (6qErC)

149
DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDR


Bipartisan scandal.

Posted by: Grump928(c) at August 08, 2018 05:18 PM (yQpMk)

150 How do all these people find the time to write their columns and books when they are always on Twitter with this useless shit?

Posted by: Mark1971 at August 08, 2018 05:19 PM (xPl2J)

151 "If anyone really wants to send my blood pressure spiking, an easy way to do so is to say, "I like Jonah Goldberg, he's the 'funny conservative'."


Wait - I thought I was the funny one.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - Deplatformed? Media Platforms of Genuine Balderdash Available at The Outrage Outlet at August 08, 2018 05:19 PM (0QYMt)

152 Mother, 49, Of Transgender Son Reveals She Donated Her Uterus


There goes the Monty Python meme. It was good while it lasted.
Posted by: Grump928(c) at August 08, 2018 05:17 PM (yQpMk)


Watch. One day some distant descendant will show up with it in a bag on Antique Roadshow.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at August 08, 2018 05:19 PM (uSlc8)

153 That didn't age well.

Posted by: Minuteman's AutoTweet Algorithm Machine at August 08, 2018 05:19 PM (dhbtx)

154 Didn't get any of his jokes. Maybe I am slow. I'll give them another shot.

Just watch his twitter feed. I'm sure he'll repeat the above twits with minor variations very soon.

Posted by: bonhomme at August 08, 2018 05:19 PM (9qZ3S)

155 Eggs??


Eggs are in chocolate cake!!!!

Posted by: Kreplach at August 08, 2018 05:19 PM (upD/b)

156 122
I'm guessing he meant Ballston, Virginia. It's actually just a neighborhood in Arlington, VA, based on the Metro stop. Like I said, kinda meh.
Posted by: moki at August 08, 2018 05:12 PM (V+V4
----------

I'm sure that's what he meant, too. Like you say, crowded and boring, big mall I've never gone near and metro station, but also more hipster eateries.

They're everywhere.
Posted by: bluebell at August 08, 2018 05:14 PM (JJZzu)
------
Does this mean I'm a hipster? Crap!

Posted by: Weasel at August 08, 2018 05:19 PM (MVjcR)

157 148 Adrienne Barbeau's tits>>>>>>>pretty much everything else in the 70's.

FIFY
Posted by: Anon a mouse at August 08, 2018 05:18 PM (6qErC)

That, for some reason, conjured up Carol Wayne....

Posted by: kraken at August 08, 2018 05:19 PM (ffWPP)

158 >>134
Adam Schiff



What a jackass


Harsh.

Posted by: Fake-AG at August 08, 2018 05:20 PM (r9UYA)

159 I clapped when I saw things I remembered!

Posted by: Ali Watkins, Greatest NYT Debriefer at August 08, 2018 05:20 PM (nGsFZ)

160 >>>150 How do all these people find the time to write their columns and books when they are always on Twitter with this useless shit?
Posted by: Mark1971

I dunno. Getting off twitter really gave me a lot of time back.

Posted by: Ace at August 08, 2018 05:20 PM (PA9oZ)

161 That's going to leave a mark.

Posted by: Minuteman's AutoTweet Algorithm Machine at August 08, 2018 05:20 PM (dhbtx)

162 Watch. One day some distant descendant will show up with it in a bag on Antique Roadshow.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at August 08, 2018 05:19 PM (uSlc
-------

I'm afraid to ask what you think will be in the bag. I'm hoping it's the meme and not the other.

Posted by: bluebell at August 08, 2018 05:20 PM (JJZzu)

163 Thanks very much.
Posted by: FenelonSpoke

You're welcome.

Posted by: bonhomme at August 08, 2018 05:20 PM (9qZ3S)

164 which was the style at the time..

Posted by: Grump928(c) at August 08, 2018 05:20 PM (yQpMk)

165
Adrienne Barbeau's tits>>>>>>>>>>>>>>Jonah Goldberg

Posted by: steevy at August 08, 2018 05:15 PM (LiyEm)


Adrienne Barbeau's tits>>>>>>>>>>>>>>a shitload of things.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at August 08, 2018 05:20 PM (9Om/r)

166 In fairness to him, I'm sure Jonah will comment on the New Mexico Muslim child terror training center as soon as he removes his tongue from Jake Tapper's a-hole.

Posted by: Little Larry Sellers at August 08, 2018 05:20 PM (/xRTc)

167 How do all these people find the time to write their columns and books when they are always on Twitter with this useless shit?


Posted by: Mark1971 at August 08, 2018 05:19 PM (xPl2J)

Research assistants, grad students, shiftless layabouts, and hobos. It's why his latest book had references to dumpster diving, Val-U-Rite, riding the rails, and the Deadly Ewok of the Hobo Jungle.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - Deplatformed? Media Platforms of Genuine Balderdash Available at The Outrage Outlet at August 08, 2018 05:21 PM (0QYMt)

168 That, for some reason, conjured up Carol Wayne...."

Is there a fork in that road?

Posted by: Anon a mouse at August 08, 2018 05:21 PM (6qErC)

169 Don't quit your day job.

Posted by: Minuteman's AutoTweet Algorithm Machine at August 08, 2018 05:21 PM (dhbtx)

170 IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE REFERENCES & MEMES MAKE UP HALF OF THE POSTS HERE!
Posted by: BEN ROETHLISBERGER
------------

No they don't.

Posted by: Monty Python at August 08, 2018 05:21 PM (EY4jv)

171 That's a lot of twat.

Posted by: wth at August 08, 2018 05:21 PM (HgMAr)

172 Amy Schumer is more original than Jonah Goldberg

Posted by: buzzion at August 08, 2018 05:21 PM (zRwJ/)

173 I successfully distracted myself from everything else in this thread...

Posted by: steevy at August 08, 2018 05:21 PM (LiyEm)

174 I clapped when I saw things I remembered!
Posted by: Ali Watkins, Greatest NYT Debriefer at August 08, 2018 05:20 PM (nGsFZ)
++++++++
I am sure Mr. Goldberg is please it worked on *someone.* But sorry, dear, he isn't the one who cheats - he is the one who gets cheated *on.*

Posted by: Joe Mannix (Not a cop!) at August 08, 2018 05:21 PM (I2dne)

175 In honor of repeating other people's wit

If Goldberg was a spice he'd be flour.

Posted by: Lancelot Link Secret Agent Chimp at August 08, 2018 05:21 PM (khWYc)

176 Womp womp.

Posted by: Minuteman's AutoTweet Algorithm Machine at August 08, 2018 05:21 PM (dhbtx)

177 Is there a fork in that road?


Take it.

Posted by: Yogi Berra at August 08, 2018 05:21 PM (yQpMk)

178 And that Couch can go fuck himself, too.

Posted by: The White Ottoman at August 08, 2018 05:21 PM (BRvh1)

179 I wonder if Cannibal Bob has any good recipes for an old uterus.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at August 08, 2018 05:22 PM (uSlc8)

180 I guiltily admit I like the toddler with the puppies video. It's like shooting me with a dozen cute beams all at once.

Posted by: troyriser at August 08, 2018 05:22 PM (Um8ak)

181 160 >>>150 How do all these people find the time to write their columns and books when they are always on Twitter with this useless shit?
Posted by: Mark1971

I dunno. Getting off twitter really gave me a lot of time back.

Posted by: Ace at August 08, 2018 05:20 PM (PA9oZ)

Wasn't Twitter a lot like playing the Quarter Slots in Vegas?? Just feeding in one quip after the other???

Posted by: kraken at August 08, 2018 05:22 PM (ffWPP)

182 Weasel, you don't go over to Ballston, do you?

Besides, I know the kind of places you frequent, and they are bluebell-approved and not a hipster in sight.

Posted by: bluebell at August 08, 2018 05:22 PM (JJZzu)

183 Amy Schumer is more original than...wait.

Posted by: Amy Schumer at August 08, 2018 05:22 PM (uSlc8)

184 Let's not be too hard on Jonah's humor. I mean, compare it to Samantha Bee's, Kathy Griffin's, Jimmy Fallon's . . . .

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, 3-D Printed Version at August 08, 2018 05:22 PM (+y/Ru)

185 Does this mean I'm a hipster? Crap!
Posted by: Weasel at August 08, 2018 05:19 PM (MVjcR)
--------------

It depends:

Plastic fantastic Glock

or

The masterpiece of gun design by John Moses Browning, the 1911.

Answer wisely.

Posted by: Blake - used bridge salesman at August 08, 2018 05:22 PM (qC1Sy)

186 Adam Schiff



What a jackass


Harsh.

Posted by: Fake-AG

Hey give me credit. It's cleaner that what I was thinking

Posted by: wrg500 at August 08, 2018 05:22 PM (Bdeb0)

187
Mother, 49, Of Transgender Son Reveals She Donated Her Uterus

Boy trapped in refrigerator eats own foot

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at August 08, 2018 05:23 PM (IqV8l)

188 I hear a worn-out old uterus makes a helluva messenger bag.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at August 08, 2018 05:23 PM (oVJmc)

189 he needs to take the steven hayward route

Posted by: concrete girl at August 08, 2018 05:23 PM (M5P9t)

190 I said it a couple days ago:
Goldberg jerks off to his own columns

Posted by: Gentlemen, this is democracy manifest at August 08, 2018 05:23 PM (LWu6U)

191 Do you have any idea what this uterus in a jar is worth?

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at August 08, 2018 05:23 PM (89T5c)

192 Those aren't funny memes. THIS is a funny meme!
https://preview.tinyurl.com/ycknpuef

Posted by: andycanuck at August 08, 2018 05:23 PM (Evws/)

193 114 I remember the podcast you had with Jonah several years back, it was very entertaining. Seems you've now gone after the same people you courted to be on your podcast. What changed?
Posted by: Ryan at August 08, 2018 05:14 PM (blRcL)


Ace has mentioned before that people he thought he was friends with and was in disagreement over voting for Trump in the general election were talking shit about him behind his back.

Posted by: buzzion at August 08, 2018 05:24 PM (zRwJ/)

194 >>>Wasn't Twitter a lot like playing the Quarter Slots in Vegas?? Just feeding in one quip after the other???
Posted by: kraken a

yes, that's a good way to put it. And your big "jackpot" was getting retweeted by 500 people you don't know.

The prize you get for that is the realization that you are not living the life you planned. Which is, admittedly, a good prize.

Posted by: Ace at August 08, 2018 05:24 PM (PA9oZ)

195
I dunno. Getting off twitter really gave me a lot of time back.

Posted by: Ace
======

*dammit. where is that Swiffer?*

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at August 08, 2018 05:24 PM (EY4jv)

196 Hey, a period or a year from the pass called and they said they want something relatable to something you mentioned back.

Posted by: Minuteman's AutoTweet Algorithm Machine at August 08, 2018 05:24 PM (dhbtx)

197 ...and then she says $2000, same as in town.

#Ikillmyself

Posted by: Jonah Goldberg at August 08, 2018 05:24 PM (yQpMk)

198 >>179
I wonder if Cannibal Bob has any good recipes for an old well maintained pre-owned uterus.

Posted by: Under Fire at August 08, 2018 05:24 PM (r9UYA)

199 For a complete list, Twitter will need to expand character limit.>>>

And Twitter would have to double that for all the dead bodies in the Clinton orbit.

Posted by: Buzzsaw at August 08, 2018 05:24 PM (P/aDH)

200 Me no rike Ace!

Me rike Jonah!

Jonah have dog!!!

Me eat Jonah dog!!!!

Dog dericious with kimchee!


Ace no have dog!

Ace have sherf!!!

Me no eat sherf!!!!

ha ha ha!

Me hate white Ace!



Me so lacist me tark rike lacist steleotype!!!!

Ha ha ha!

Posted by: Sarah Jeong at August 08, 2018 05:24 PM (z7pBf)

201 @RepAdamSchiff
59 seconds ago

Add GOP Rep. Collins, arrested today for insider trading, to the list of the indicted, convicted or disgraced that surround the President Gates, Manafort, Flynn, Pruitt, Jackson, Price, Papadopoulos, Porter

For a complete list, Twitter will need to expand character limit.

What a jackass
Posted by: wrg500 at August 08, 2018 05:16 PM (Bdeb0)

We set up a special counsel, make it open source witch hunt, and the list of Dem criminals would be in the hundreds by now

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at August 08, 2018 05:24 PM (sdl8C)

202 78 What does Kayfabe mean?

It's a pro wrestling term they stole from carnies.

ah. i assumed it was "covfefe" transliterated into the alphabet used in peruvia.

Posted by: Anachronda at August 08, 2018 05:25 PM (NmR1a)

203 >>>I hear a worn-out old uterus makes a helluva messenger bag.<<<

Do you bowl?

Posted by: Fritz at August 08, 2018 05:25 PM (JpWcH)

204 Show me the money.

Posted by: Minuteman's AutoTweet Algorithm Machine at August 08, 2018 05:25 PM (dhbtx)

205 >>>196 Hey, a period or a year from the pass called and they said they want something relatable to something you mentioned back.
Posted by: Minuteman's AutoTweet Algorithm Machine

does anyone remember BORAT

Posted by: acewing plover at August 08, 2018 05:25 PM (PA9oZ)

206 Look, Jonah Goldberg has never been funny. Ahhh, look, ahhh, listen, he's not funny.

Posted by: occam's brassiere at August 08, 2018 05:25 PM (QMHQ7)

207 Hey everybody - early #TBT: Recast "The Brady Bunch" with your favorite DC people!

I'll go first. Mike Pompeo is Sam the Butcher.
Your turn...

Posted by: The Couch at August 08, 2018 05:25 PM (W+vEI)

208 182 Weasel, you don't go over to Ballston, do you?

Besides, I know the kind of places you frequent, and they are bluebell-approved and not a hipster in sight.

Posted by: bluebell at August 08, 2018 05:22 PM (JJZzu)
-------
Do doctor office visits count?

Oh! I think I've already decided on a BLT tomorrow.

Posted by: Weasel at August 08, 2018 05:26 PM (MVjcR)

209 *dammit. where is that Swiffer?*
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at August 08, 2018 05:24 PM (EY4jv)
-----------

I think JackStraw was the last one to have it.

Posted by: bluebell at August 08, 2018 05:26 PM (JJZzu)

210 All your base are belong to us.

Posted by: Minuteman's AutoTweet Algorithm Machine at August 08, 2018 05:26 PM (dhbtx)

211 And Twitter would have to double that for all the dead bodies in the Clinton orbit.


Posted by: Buzzsaw at August 08, 2018 05:24 PM (P/aDH)

Hillary has her own gravity well? I knew she put on a few pounds, but not that much.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - Deplatformed? Media Platforms of Genuine Balderdash Available at The Outrage Outlet at August 08, 2018 05:26 PM (0QYMt)

212 When does his engagement at the Ramada Inn near the airport happen?

Posted by: hobbitopoly at August 08, 2018 05:26 PM (MX7xj)

213 To be fair, early pro wrestlers didn't steal the phrase from carnies, they *were* carnies. Every bit as much as the bearded lady and the sword swallower.

And hey, speaking of sword swallowers....

Posted by: broseidon, semi-official komodo dragon shifter at August 08, 2018 05:26 PM (oZ6kz)

214 I do appreciate original wit and why I miss some of the posts we use to do here.

Haikus, Deep Thoughts, He's so evil..., top 10 lists, etc.

Posted by: Lancelot Link Secret Agent Chimp at August 08, 2018 05:27 PM (khWYc)

215 If you hear the dog whistle, you'll love our Jazz Road Show; Jazz on the Lam.

Tickets at Ticketmaster.

Posted by: Bixler, Baxter, and Mordant, Jazz Singers at August 08, 2018 05:27 PM (XeN7w)

216 187
Mother, 49, Of Transgender Son Reveals She Donated Her Uterus


+++

Who, I want to know, are these Dr. Frankensteins that do these types of insane surgeries.

Posted by: washrivergal at August 08, 2018 05:27 PM (Kcf2u)

217 Identity Theft was caused by Global Warming !!!!!

And also caused by TRUMP...Thank You and now I feel better that I gave all my Financial Info to Hillary Rod-Biitch Clinton and Berbie Sanders..... Also Jabba the Hutt says "Hillary has a nice ASS"....

Posted by: Dr. Strangelove at August 08, 2018 05:27 PM (qM84C)

218 >>>
Ace has mentioned before that people he thought he was friends with and was in disagreement over voting for Trump in the general election were talking shit about him behind his back.

I was never friends with him. When I met him I instantly disliked him.

And I think John Ekdahl booked him. I booked very few guests.

Posted by: acewing plover at August 08, 2018 05:27 PM (PA9oZ)

219 Hashtag something.

Posted by: Minuteman's AutoTweet Algorithm Machine at August 08, 2018 05:27 PM (Ln5Lb)

220 Perhaps you and Mona should quit shrinking it, Jay. I used to respect you.
Posted by: Hands at August 08, 2018 05:15 PM (EzdLW)

Heh. Not sure I ever did but their podcast sucks.

Posted by: golfman at August 08, 2018 05:27 PM (If3tB)

221 He has all the charm and wit of an older Ben Shapiro.

Posted by: El Kabong at August 08, 2018 05:28 PM (datdl)

222 I'm sure Jonah will comment on the New Mexico Muslim child terror training center

Speaking of the Panopticon we call everyday life, how is it we have hundreds of Muslim weapons training camps here on American soil? I suppose it's part of the "attacker was known to law enforcement" trend.

Every time I see some news story on a Muslim weapons training camp, it's some little blurb in a local paper and possibly in a UK paper.

Posted by: bonhomme at August 08, 2018 05:28 PM (9qZ3S)

223 >>I think JackStraw was the last one to have it.

That's my personal autographed model.

Posted by: JackStraw at August 08, 2018 05:28 PM (/tuJf)

224 >>>I'll stop here. I've punished you enough.

Yep, even with your godlike writing connecting them up, that's a slew of boring tweets.

Posted by: m at August 08, 2018 05:28 PM (CwOPz)

225 By 2037 he might do a MySpace post on Kaboom.cereal.

Posted by: Lebron Horowitz at August 08, 2018 05:28 PM (UFgOG)

226 Chaka Fattah and Corrine Brown are waving to Schiff from prison.

Posted by: Ben Had at August 08, 2018 05:28 PM (fIPpO)

227 >>Mother, 49, Of Transgender Son Reveals She Donated Her Uterus




Gosh, that's not ghoulish tinkering at all.

Posted by: Lizzy at August 08, 2018 05:28 PM (W+vEI)

228 Used uterii can be useful.... although bull pizzles have a corner on the genital repurposing market...

Posted by: kraken at August 08, 2018 05:29 PM (ffWPP)

229 Keep calm and insert non-sequitur.

Posted by: Minuteman's AutoTweet Algorithm Machine at August 08, 2018 05:29 PM (Ln5Lb)

230 Weasel, that sounds good.

And I checked and I have two.

Posted by: bluebell at August 08, 2018 05:29 PM (JJZzu)

231 Please tell me Jonah sometime in the past year has at least referenced tentacle pron or animated strobe GIFs.

Posted by: ShainS at August 08, 2018 05:29 PM (2XyT4)

232 I like Jonah Goldberg he is the the fat fuck conservative

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at August 08, 2018 05:29 PM (3Pma+)

233
It depends:

Plastic fantastic Glock

or

The masterpiece of gun design by John Moses Browning, the 1911.

Answer wisely.
Posted by: Blake - used bridge salesman at August 08, 2018 05:22 PM (qC1Sy)
--------
Schwoo!!! I'm safe.

Posted by: Weasel at August 08, 2018 05:29 PM (MVjcR)

234 Game over.

Posted by: Minuteman's AutoTweet Algorithm Machine at August 08, 2018 05:29 PM (Ln5Lb)

235 Brady Bunch intro:

Nine people in an octothorpe.

Octo -> Eight

9 + 8 = 17

WAKE UP SHEEPLE!!!!!!

Posted by: Chris Cuom----ohhhh my god the aliens are stealing my precious bodily fluids! at August 08, 2018 05:29 PM (BRvh1)

236 Hey the 80's called and they want their memes and foreign policies back.

Posted by: J Goldberg at August 08, 2018 05:30 PM (khWYc)

237 Jonah loves Chachi. Get it?

Posted by: Jonah Goldberg at August 08, 2018 05:30 PM (/qEW2)

238 230 Weasel, that sounds good.

And I checked and I have two.

Posted by: bluebell at August 08, 2018 05:29 PM (JJZzu)
------
Roger!

Posted by: Weasel at August 08, 2018 05:30 PM (MVjcR)

239 Ace has mentioned before that people he thought he was friends with and was in disagreement over voting for Trump in the general election were talking shit about him behind his back.
Posted by: buzzion at August 08, 2018 05:24 PM (zRwJ/)

AND us.

Fuck 'em.

Posted by: golfman at August 08, 2018 05:30 PM (If3tB)

240 Life's too short to waste on that jelly-faced d********r Goldberg.

We need Morons for the Ace Of Spades group on Gab.ai, we're shooting for 2,000 members:
https://tinyurl.com/y862bgj5

Posted by: Monty James at August 08, 2018 05:30 PM (28h4F)

241 I do not care for this Jonah Goldberg fellow. He insists upon himself.

Posted by: Peter Griffin at August 08, 2018 05:30 PM (RVcmP)

242 If I could save c#nt in a bottle
The first thing I'd like to do
Is to save every mish till maternity passes away
Just to spend them with you

Posted by: zombie jim croce at August 08, 2018 05:30 PM (Evws/)

243 That's my personal autographed model.
Posted by: JackStraw at August 08, 2018 05:28 PM (/tuJf)
----------

I thought that comment would find you.

Posted by: bluebell at August 08, 2018 05:30 PM (JJZzu)

244 >>>237 Jonah loves Chachi. Get it?
Posted by: Jonah Goldberg at

I know that reference so I will laugh !!!!

Posted by: ace at August 08, 2018 05:31 PM (PA9oZ)

245 And why is it called Ovaltine?

Posted by: Minuteman's AutoTweet Algorithm Machine at August 08, 2018 05:31 PM (Ln5Lb)

246 Ballston sounds like a place most of the GOPe would be at home at.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at August 08, 2018 05:31 PM (9Om/r)

247 FUN FACT: cut two eye holes and your mom's old uterus makes a wonderfully inventive Halloween costume.

Posted by: Ed Gein at August 08, 2018 05:31 PM (uSlc8)

248 It's funny, every comedian and actor wants to be a political pundit, while every political pundit wants to be...a movie critic and a comedian.



I don't get it.

Posted by: Lizzy at August 08, 2018 05:31 PM (W+vEI)

249 I spent three days and three nights in Lena Dunham's belly.

Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week. Try the veal.

Posted by: Jonah Goldberg at August 08, 2018 05:31 PM (/qEW2)

250 Weasel @ 233- Exactly! The power of 'and'!

Posted by: Eromero at August 08, 2018 05:31 PM (zLDYs)

251 This is GOLD, Jonah! GOLD!!!

(With apologies to Minuteman.)

Posted by: Kenny Banya at August 08, 2018 05:32 PM (PA9oZ)

252 233. Ahhh.....Weasel owning Fist of SMR. is good.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, GECSPLAN, SMR and Ancient Slavonaut Newsletters at August 08, 2018 05:32 PM (fA1SL)

253 Nuke it from orbit.

Posted by: Minuteman's AutoTweet Algorithm Machine at August 08, 2018 05:32 PM (Ln5Lb)

254
I have an important observation to share:

As you'll remember, just a few weeks a cocksucking Judge ORDERED the president of the United States to stop banning anyone from the president's very own personal twitter account, citing it was an infringement on the First Amendment to do so. The Left agreed joyously and celebrated.

This week, the very same cocksuckers are celebrating the social-media-banishment of Alex Jones and calling for even more banishments.

The Left doesn't believe in any of the shit they say -- We Must Stop Following Their Bullshit Rules.


Posted by: Soothsayer -- Fake Commenter at August 08, 2018 05:32 PM (tpjYK)

255 >>>248 It's funny, every comedian and actor wants to be a political pundit, while every political pundit wants to be...a movie critic and a comedian.



I don't get it.
Posted by: Lizzy

...

too true

Posted by: ace at August 08, 2018 05:32 PM (PA9oZ)

256 Now this is advertising for tourism

The poster proclaims: "Vilnius, The G-Spot Of Europe. Nobody knows where it is, but when you find it it's amazing."

Posted by: wrg500 at August 08, 2018 05:32 PM (Bdeb0)

257 So it looks like I was the only one hoping the thing in the bag was a meme.

Posted by: bluebell at August 08, 2018 05:32 PM (JJZzu)

258 Funny is hard to do. Ace does it, with a unique style (even harder to do).


Goldberg's worst fault is not lame unfunniness. It's being a vapid ridiculous pundit, with no sense or insight. Just animus, bigotry, and make-believe facts and standards.



Posted by: rhomboid at August 08, 2018 05:32 PM (QDnY+)

259 >>It's funny, every comedian and actor wants to be a political pundit, while every political pundit wants to be...a movie critic and a comedian.


Well they do say that politics is show business for ugly people for a reason.

Posted by: JackStraw at August 08, 2018 05:33 PM (/tuJf)

260 Minuteman, you're doing a great job there.

Posted by: bluebell at August 08, 2018 05:34 PM (JJZzu)

261 I eagerly await his next tweetstorm on what, exactly, the 'deal' with airline peanuts is.

Posted by: El Kabong at August 08, 2018 05:34 PM (datdl)

262 Rep. Collins, first to endorse Trump, and he was on the transition team.

Now we know why the interest and indictments. And it was garden variety insider trading, not get out of jail free congressional privilege insider trading. And his son and son's father-in-law to be.

Not smart.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at August 08, 2018 05:34 PM (5jVnA)

263 Twitter. If you aren't on it trying to show how with it and funny you are, well you are doing something right.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - Deplatformed? Media Platforms of Genuine Balderdash Available at The Outrage Outlet at August 08, 2018 05:34 PM (0QYMt)

264 I spent three days and three nights in Lena Dunham's belly.




Posted by: Jonah Goldberg at August 08, 2018 05:31 PM (/qEW2)


She was supposed to eat shit and die.

Posted by: Berserker-Dragonheads Division at August 08, 2018 05:34 PM (9Om/r)

265 To quote Peter Griffin: "Oh My God! Who the hell cares?"

I refuse to get worked up over what "intellectuals" do or say. I've got plenty enough things to get stressed about over things I actually have a chance of affecting.

Posted by: krakatoa at August 08, 2018 05:34 PM (RCS9o)

266 "Posted by: wrg500 at August 08, 2018 05:32 PM (Bdeb0) "

Capital of...Lithestonvia?

Posted by: broseidon, semi-official komodo dragon shifter at August 08, 2018 05:34 PM (oZ6kz)

267 Who ARE these people?

Posted by: Jonah Seinfeld at August 08, 2018 05:34 PM (PA9oZ)

268 I remember Goldberg obsessing about his hate for the Kay's Jewelers tag line, Every Kiss Begins with Kay.

He rode that horse until it was a skeleton. And none of it was funny.

Posted by: J Goldberg at August 08, 2018 05:34 PM (khWYc)

269 We are all stupidier having read those tweet. At no time did Jonah come close to making a joke or anything resembling sense. I award him no points and may God have mercy on his soul.

Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Profoundly Unserious at August 08, 2018 05:34 PM (pw+jk)

270 The funniest places on the web right now... well, AoS, and Babylon Bee.... what else is there really... Democratic Socialism has killed humor....

Posted by: kraken at August 08, 2018 05:34 PM (ffWPP)

271 Stopped going to Ballston much when it got fixed up/gentrified/redeveloped. Prior to that, it was like much of NoVA - you could park easily, and had decent ethnic restaurants, even some ethnic grocery stores. After it got all fancy, it was pretty boring, and the quality was meh, even leaving the parking hassles out of it. That area peaked in terms of livability in the late 80s, early 90s.

Posted by: rhomboid at August 08, 2018 05:35 PM (QDnY+)

272 Too long to do this in BEN ROELISBERGER ALL CAPS, but....Greg Gutfeld was on Bret Baier's panel one night last week (promoting his book) and he was both funnier than Jonah *and* more insightful in his analysis of Trump. Jonah looked annoyed to have Greg crashing the big boy panel instead of staying in his "The Five" lane.



Even my 84 year old mother thinks Greg Gutfeld is the only one on Fox worth watching.

Posted by: Lizzy at August 08, 2018 05:35 PM (W+vEI)

273 DOES ANYONE REMEMBER GO-BOTS

Posted by: jonahwing plover at August 08, 2018 05:35 PM (PA9oZ)

274 It's like reading "Ready Player One" all over again.

Posted by: moviegique at August 08, 2018 05:36 PM (oRIVo)

275 Want an actual serious public intellectual? Kenneth Rogoff, Steve Sailer, and NN Taleb are great choices. Want someone with wit? Steve Crowder or Ann Coulter. Mark Steyn, in a pinch.

Lucianne Goldberg is the only reason her son has a job. He can't even dismantle Jon Leibowitz when his writers are on strike. How Goldberg and Shapiro keep their jobs, in the face of vastly superior rivals, I have no idea.

Posted by: trev006 at August 08, 2018 05:36 PM (lUz1b)

276 >>>Punching down, ace?
Posted by: Rob Crawford at August 08, 2018 05:04 PM (w+vzi)

More like dipping his nuts.

Posted by: Max Power at August 08, 2018 05:36 PM (q177U)

277 270. Democratic Socialism has killed humor....
**
No, the chorus goes:
Video killed the radio star.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, GECSPLAN, SMR and Ancient Slavonaut Newsletters at August 08, 2018 05:36 PM (fA1SL)

278 Wow. You went to a lot of effort to put that together, Ace.

Really makes you think. Huh. Powerful. So glad you're on the case.

Posted by: Dr Spaceman at August 08, 2018 05:36 PM (x2qkA)

279 "And then Jews wonder why decent people despise them.

Posted by: Mark Matis at August 08, 2018 05:35 PM (LzG0h) "

I totally did Nazi this coming.

Posted by: broseidon, semi-official komodo dragon shifter at August 08, 2018 05:36 PM (oZ6kz)

280 Did Weasel get an AK? What did I miss?


Posted by: rhomboid at August 08, 2018 05:36 PM (QDnY+)

281
And yes, it's a real place.

Posted by: Anon a mouse at August 08, 2018 05:14 PM (6qErC)

No, Possum Trot, Kentucky is a real place. Birthplace of Robert Grubbs, Nobel Laureate in Chemistry.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at August 08, 2018 05:37 PM (LsBY9)

282 Explaining why things aren't funny is what makes things funny.

Posted by: Original Roy at August 08, 2018 05:37 PM (9Tlm9)

283 Victor Davis Hanson is also a serious public intellectual....

Posted by: kraken at August 08, 2018 05:37 PM (ffWPP)

284 wrg500, the hunt for Red October turned it up.

Posted by: Ben Had at August 08, 2018 05:37 PM (fIPpO)

285 Well they do say that politics is show business for ugly people for a reason.
Posted by: JackStraw at August 08, 2018 05:33 PM (/tuJf)

--------------

Henry Waxman nods.

Posted by: Calm Mentor at August 08, 2018 05:37 PM (I16G8)

286 Jonah, whom I used to like, is one of the main reasons I quit National Review. After being a subscriber for over 40 years.

He's the asshole on Last Stand Hill sharpshooting Custer instead of shooting at the fucking Indians that are trying to kill him. Fuck him, he's a worthless twat.

Posted by: LGoPs at August 08, 2018 05:38 PM (P7V3J)

287 >>>278 Wow. You went to a lot of effort to put that together, Ace.

Really makes you think. Huh. Powerful. So glad you're on the case.
Posted by: Dr Spaceman

...

It took 20 minutes. how many hours has Jonah spent on twitter the last two days, Chum?

Posted by: ace at August 08, 2018 05:38 PM (PA9oZ)

288 280 Did Weasel get an AK? What did I miss?


Posted by: rhomboid at August 08, 2018 05:36 PM (QDnY+)

He didn't even have to use his AK
All in all it was a good day

Posted by: Insomniac at August 08, 2018 05:38 PM (NWiLs)

289 What's the dealio with cucks at CNN? Please laugh. #hashtag

Posted by: Fritz at August 08, 2018 05:38 PM (JpWcH)

290 I really look forward to this new series. Ace, have you seen how much Goldberg, Williamson, and Lowry make each year from the National Review Institute? Just look National Review Institute up at 990finder(dot)foundationcenter(dot)org. Who funds NRI?

Posted by: BasedLutheran at August 08, 2018 05:38 PM (qXnuc)

291 Mark Steyn is far above "in a pinch" wit. For extemporaneous wit drawing on an overwhelming breadth of cultural references, I've never seen anything like him.



Posted by: rhomboid at August 08, 2018 05:38 PM (QDnY+)

292
Posted by: Dr Spaceman

I'm getting a strong cocksuckerish vibe from you.

Posted by: Soothsayer -- Fake Commenter at August 08, 2018 05:38 PM (tpjYK)

293
John Podhoretz
Jonah Goldberg
Bill Kristol

Genetic degeneration exemplified.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at August 08, 2018 05:38 PM (LsBY9)

294 Posted by: Mark Matis at August 08, 2018 05:35 PM (LzG0h)

Wow. Stupid.

PRO TIP: Claim it was a clumsy attempt at sarcasm.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at August 08, 2018 05:39 PM (uSlc8)

295 I see ace already nuked the troll. Feel free to scrub my post so his whole presence is eradicated.

Or you know, nuke it from orbit. You know? Like that movie! The one we've both seen! I love that we both have watched things!

Posted by: broseidon, semi-official komodo dragon shifter at August 08, 2018 05:39 PM (oZ6kz)

296 290 Who funds NRI?
Posted by: BasedLutheran at August 08, 2018 05:38 PM (qXnuc)

Why, the Kuch Brothers! Get it?!

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at August 08, 2018 05:39 PM (G4W16)

297 How Goldberg and Shapiro keep their jobs, in the face of vastly superior rivals, I have no idea.

Posted by: trev006 at August 08, 2018 05:36 PM (lUz1b)

=====
They know how to do things with their tongue when tossing salad. Or so I hear.

Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Profoundly Unserious at August 08, 2018 05:39 PM (pw+jk)

298 I didn't have to do research for this. I just opened up his timeline and copied each of his unfunny tweets. There were, of course, dozens in the past two days.

Now, I'd like Jonah Goldberg's fanbois to estimate how much time Jonah has wasted by posting these tired non-jokes every 15 minutes for two days.

The "You're on twitter too much" burn doesn't work when you're defending the guy who actually cranked these out two or three per hour for two days.

Posted by: ace at August 08, 2018 05:40 PM (PA9oZ)

299
I see Ace got the cocksuckerish vibe from Dr Spaceman, too.

Posted by: Soothsayer -- Fake Commenter at August 08, 2018 05:40 PM (tpjYK)

300 I read you everyday. I read Goldberg everyday. You guys should be friends. You seem to want to lump Goldberg and Shaprio in with Kristol, McCain and those guys. Sad!

Posted by: A regular guy at August 08, 2018 05:40 PM (KSd/b)

301 Or you know, nuke it from orbit. You know? Like that movie! The one we've both seen! I love that we both have watched things!
Posted by: broseidon, semi-official komodo dragon shifter at August 08, 2018 05:39 PM (oZ6kz

Now that guy was funny. The nuke it from orbit guy. Can never remember his name. Did he turn to the dark side too?

Posted by: J Goldberg at August 08, 2018 05:41 PM (khWYc)

302
Guy who writes about Liberal Fascism and spends his days and nights sucking up to liberal fascists.

Comedy gold.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at August 08, 2018 05:41 PM (G4W16)

303 >>>>290 I really look forward to this new series. Ace, have you seen how much Goldberg, Williamson, and Lowry make each year from the National Review Institute? Just look National Review Institute up at 990finder(dot)foundationcenter(dot)org. Who funds NRI?

I would actually like to know that. I would like to know how much corporate donations may be influencing their daily #HotTakes.

Posted by: ace at August 08, 2018 05:41 PM (PA9oZ)

304 >>>It took 20 minutes. how many hours has Jonah spent on twitter the last two days, Chum?

I'm gonna guess someone in Jonah's Twitter Flirt Harem posted a link here sniffling about how alt-right you are now.

And YES, this is what Goldberg, French, Nichols, Shapiro, et al do all fucking day long. Twitter killed Conservative Inc. Trump just buried the body.

Posted by: El Kabong at August 08, 2018 05:41 PM (datdl)

305 >>> I love that we both have watched things!
Posted by: broseidon, semi-official komodo dragon shifter at August 08, 2018 05:39 PM (oZ6kz

Do you guys remember TELEVISION?!

Posted by: ace at August 08, 2018 05:41 PM (PA9oZ)

306 How Goldberg and Shapiro keep their jobs, in the face of vastly superior rivals, I have no idea.

Posted by: trev006 at August 08, 2018 05:36 PM (lUz1b)


While Ben Shapiro is incredibly annoying with an insanely irritating voice his sister has a magnificent rack.

Jonah has a couch.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - Deplatformed? Media Platforms of Genuine Balderdash Available at The Outrage Outlet at August 08, 2018 05:41 PM (0QYMt)

307
Jonah "Comedy" Goldberg.

TM Sefton-corp.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at August 08, 2018 05:41 PM (G4W16)

308 Ah fuq. No Superman sequel ?!?!?!?

Posted by: Adriane the Movie Critic ... at August 08, 2018 05:42 PM (AoK0a)

309 Phantom of the Opera>>>>>>>>>>>>>Henry Waxman

Posted by: steevy at August 08, 2018 05:42 PM (LiyEm)

310 So there I was watching my wife get three holed and I thought, am I a cuck or what?

Posted by: Jonah Goldberg at August 08, 2018 05:42 PM (pw+jk)

311 280. No. Superior Kalashnikov platform rifle is the Right Arm of SMR.
Pistol chambered in proven Commie and Nazi killing 7.62 Tok is Fist.
I give you newsletter......good price.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, GECSPLAN, SMR and Ancient Slavonaut Newsletters at August 08, 2018 05:42 PM (/mYZG)

312 20 minutes? That barely enough time to suck this whole bowl of cocks!

Posted by: Jonah Goldberg, get it? Like the wrestler! I love that we both can remember things! at August 08, 2018 05:42 PM (oZ6kz)

313 For extemporaneous wit drawing on an overwhelming breadth of cultural references, I've never seen anything like him. 

Posted by: rhomboid at August 08, 2018 05:38 PM (QDnY+)

I've seen him in action. Steyn amd Farage were on a debate team together, and it was glorious. Simon Scharma got eviscerated so badly it should have been the end of his public career.

But I still prefer Coulter. Is it because she's quicker in person? More sharp tongued? It must be je ne sais quois, because I'm not sure of the reason myself.

Posted by: trev006 at August 08, 2018 05:43 PM (lUz1b)

314 Schiff is of course a loathsome and frightening exemplar of the idiotic, irresponsible, lawless, dumb Dem party - but you knew that.


Pruitt and Price - neither indicted nor convicted, nor disgraced, just bad fits for their jobs (the disgrace of Obama admin. personnel, from the president on down, was nearly constant, historically unprecedented, and often came with a body count).


Flynn - we'll see, but likely wrongly prosecuted, and in the end *his* persecuters will be the ones doing jail time.


Papadaparapaolopolous - junior nobody volunteer, for a brief period, whatever he did had nothing to do with the campaign or "RUSSIA!".


Don't know who Jackson is.



Posted by: rhomboid at August 08, 2018 05:43 PM (QDnY+)

315 7 Lately I keep having the same reaction to Goldberg.

How in the living fuck is this the guy that wrote Liberal Fascism.
Posted by: RYAN FRANK at August 08, 2018 05:06 PM (EKxGt)

threadwinner

Posted by: dr kill at August 08, 2018 05:43 PM (Jj+59)

316 Posted by: Dr Spaceman

I'm getting a strong cocksuckerish vibe from you.


Posted by: Soothsayer -- Fake Commenter at August 08, 2018 05:38 PM (tpjYK)

Dr. Venture > Dr. Spaceman

Posted by: Mikey NTH - Deplatformed? Media Platforms of Genuine Balderdash Available at The Outrage Outlet at August 08, 2018 05:43 PM (0QYMt)

317 That was no performance last Saturday. It was hot as Hades in that high school gym. PDT's shirt was soaked about 1/3 of the way through that speech. Did he quit? No. He made a joke, commiserated with the crowd and motored on. Everybody stuck with him. Jonah needs to get over himself.

Posted by: Tuna at August 08, 2018 05:43 PM (jm1YL)

318 305 >>> I love that we both have watched things!
Posted by: broseidon, semi-official komodo dragon shifter at August 08, 2018 05:39 PM (oZ6kz

Do you guys remember TELEVISION?!
Posted by: ace at August 08, 2018 05:41 PM (PA9oZ)

Funny, but true.... I might as well have only one HDMI cable... straight to the BluRay player....

Posted by: kraken at August 08, 2018 05:44 PM (ffWPP)

319
remember when after an election the candidate with a "slim lead" was also, you know, THE WINNER?

Posted by: soothsayerwing plover at August 08, 2018 05:44 PM (tpjYK)

320 John Podhoretz
Jonah Goldberg
Bill Kristol



Rub a dub dub
Three men in a tub

The butcher
The baker
The candlestick shaker

Posted by: Braenyard at August 08, 2018 05:44 PM (oC40p)

321 Look, weird sex stuff is certainly an explanation, but keeping two reasonably priced whores on retainer has to be far less expensive if you have a decent drug dealer.

Posted by: trev006 at August 08, 2018 05:44 PM (lUz1b)

322 so, what is the deal with impeaching the supreme court justices in wv?

Posted by: ? at August 08, 2018 05:45 PM (MTjB1)

323
Don't know who Jackson is.

The key! The key to everything. Drumpf should resign right now!!

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at August 08, 2018 05:45 PM (LsBY9)

324
remember when elections with clear WINNERS weren't "too close to call" by the FAKE NEWS?

Posted by: soothsayerwing plover at August 08, 2018 05:45 PM (tpjYK)

325 ''How in the living fuck is this the guy that wrote Liberal Fascism. ''

Sad seeing his descent into idiocy.

Posted by: Tuna at August 08, 2018 05:45 PM (jm1YL)

326 It's ironic how the Trucons who tell us "this is not the hill to die on" are making their final stand on Trump Hill.

Posted by: Hands at August 08, 2018 05:45 PM (EzdLW)

327 Twitter in general was just a really bad idea.

Posted by: goodluckduck at August 08, 2018 05:46 PM (rwaEp)

328 305 >>> I love that we both have watched things!
Posted by: broseidon, semi-official komodo dragon shifter at August 08, 2018 05:39 PM (oZ6kz

Do you guys remember TELEVISION?!
Posted by: ace at August 08, 2018 05:41 PM (PA9oZ)


"Television, like with Richard Lloyd and Tom Verlaine?"

- - Drunken Bollard

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at August 08, 2018 05:46 PM (G4W16)

329 A cuck, a commie and Sarah Jeong walk into a bar...

Posted by: Jonah Goldfinger at August 08, 2018 05:46 PM (Tyii7)

330 Henry Waxman nods.
Posted by: Calm Mentor at August 08, 2018 05:37 PM (I16G

---

Bless his heart, he fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.

Posted by: SMH - Get right or get left at August 08, 2018 05:46 PM (2zIj5)

331 National Review Institute 2016
Lowry: $325,215
Goldberg: $264,564
Williamson: $212,229

Posted by: BasedLutheran at August 08, 2018 05:46 PM (qXnuc)

332 The longest week I ever spent was the last hour I spent in Ballston.

Posted by: Amy Schumer at August 08, 2018 05:47 PM (pw+jk)

333 . No. Superior Kalashnikov platform rifle is the Right Arm of SMR.
Pistol chambered in proven Commie and Nazi killing 7.62 Tok is Fist.
I give you newsletter......good price.
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine
------------

You persist in denying Vodka its proper role.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at August 08, 2018 05:47 PM (EY4jv)

334 Glad I never signed up for Twitter.

Posted by: dantesed at August 08, 2018 05:47 PM (88xKn)

335 Is this the definition of a clapper comic? Perhaps there should be a similar definition of a Twitter "comic"?

Posted by: hobbitopoly at August 08, 2018 05:47 PM (MX7xj)

336 Take my cuck... please!

Posted by: j. g-berg at August 08, 2018 05:48 PM (Evws/)

337 "remember when after an election the candidate with a "slim lead" was also, you know, THE WINNER?"

If the Democrats acknowledge that they threw their best efforts out there and came up empty handed it damages the "Blue Wave" narrative hype they are putting together.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - Deplatformed? Media Platforms of Genuine Balderdash Available at The Outrage Outlet at August 08, 2018 05:48 PM (0QYMt)

338 330 Henry Waxman nods.
Posted by: Calm Mentor at August 08, 2018 05:37 PM (I16G

---

Bless his heart, he fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.
Posted by: SMH - Get right or get left at August 08, 2018 05:46 PM (2zIj5)


When I see him..... well, I go back and forth between Nosferatu, and the Phantom of the Opera... weird..

Posted by: kraken at August 08, 2018 05:48 PM (ffWPP)

339 If Goldberg didn't have a dog to blather about, would we be reading all about his foreskin? His hair loss?

Posted by: Les Kinetic at August 08, 2018 05:48 PM (TEWwY)

340 While Ben Shapiro is incredibly annoying with an insanely irritating voice his sister has a magnificent rack.


I remember it (the rack). Course, now she's a Mom with 5 kids and a bad "Mother's Little Helper" thing going on.

Posted by: pep at August 08, 2018 05:48 PM (T6t7i)

341

The shortest week I ever spent was the last minute I spent in Girls Town.

Posted by: Velvet Fog at August 08, 2018 05:49 PM (IqV8l)

342 Possum Trot, Kentucky is a real place.

So is Bucksnort, TN.

Don't ask how I know.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at August 08, 2018 05:49 PM (iiixZ)

343 333. Tok is Fist. Kalashnikov is Right Arm. Vodka is life. Vodka is love.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, GECSPLAN, SMR and Ancient Slavonaut Newsletters at August 08, 2018 05:49 PM (fA1SL)

344 Bless his heart, he fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.

And climbed back up and did it again, for good measure.

Posted by: Jonah Goldfinger at August 08, 2018 05:49 PM (Tyii7)

345 Identity Theft was caused by Global Warming !!!!!

And also caused by TRUMP...Thank You and now I feel better that I gave all my Financial Info to Hillary Rod-Biitch Clinton and Berbie Sanders..... Also Jabba the Hutt says Hillry has a

Posted by: Dr. Strangelove at August 08, 2018 05:50 PM (qM84C)

346 Like that movie! The one we've both seen! I love that we both have watched things!
-------
The one with the volcano!

Posted by: andycanuck at August 08, 2018 05:50 PM (Evws/)

347 Heard part of an interview Hannity did with Twitter CEO, Jack whoever.


Didn't hear it all. Twitter guy gave a simple defense of his operation, saying they weren't communicating well about their challenges with algorithms, monitoring ToS-violations, etc. Said they had made mistakes and were learning.


Big take-away was: Sean let the guy complete more than one sentence without interruption. Secondary take-away was, I'm not sure - hook for the interview was Twitter *not* dumping Alex Jones. I didn't hear that discussion, must have come after I was out of the car.


I'll let others assess Twitter's explanation/defense of things (he said they don't shadow-ban, implied it was all a matter of their monitoring/algorithm operations being imperfect).


But I thought it was interesting that he did an interview with Hannity. Thirty years ago, it would be called "duh, common sense, get your side of the story out there, talk to existing/potential customers, protect your brand" - but these days it qualifies as a striking, unconventional, bold move, to actually talk to *all* identifiable market segments.

Posted by: rhomboid at August 08, 2018 05:50 PM (QDnY+)

348 339 If Goldberg didn't have a dog to blather about, would we be reading all about his foreskin? His hair loss?
Posted by: Les Kinetic at August 08, 2018 05:48 PM (TEWwY)


The hair loss on his foreskin, who is now head cheerleader for the Philadelphia Eagles...

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at August 08, 2018 05:50 PM (G4W16)

349 Twitter is a vaster wasteland than television.

Posted by: ruralbob at August 08, 2018 05:50 PM (JmrPi)

350 National Review Institute 2017
Lowry: $389,862
Goldberg: $206,0564
Williamson: $210,189

Not sure what Goldberg is compensated for being the Asness Chair in Applied Liberty at AEI. Is that position funded by billionaire hedge fund manager Cliff Asness?

Posted by: BasedLutheran at August 08, 2018 05:50 PM (qXnuc)

351 >>Lowry: $325,215
Goldberg: $264,564
Williamson: $212,229





Damn, he could have afforded to get me the stainmaster coating...

Posted by: The Couch at August 08, 2018 05:50 PM (W+vEI)

352 anybody else see the son's getting there Father's dog tags from North Korea today, I really don't care what anybody says but getting those guys home was worth Trump going to met Kim.

Posted by: Patrick From Ohio at August 08, 2018 05:50 PM (dKiJG)

353 Like that movie! The one we've both seen! I love that we both have watched things!
-------
The one with the volcano!


Posted by: andycanuck

And the luggage salesman! He was awesome.

Posted by: pep at August 08, 2018 05:51 PM (T6t7i)

354 speaking of wastelands, does anyone remember THUNDARR THE BARBARIAN!?!???!

Remembering is fun!!!!

Posted by: ace at August 08, 2018 05:51 PM (PA9oZ)

355 329 A cuck, a commie and Sarah Jeong walk into a bar...
Posted by: Jonah Goldfinger at August 08, 2018 05:46 PM (Tyii7)


Bartender says, "the big black Russian again?"

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at August 08, 2018 05:51 PM (5jVnA)

356 Bug Tussle Alabama, Toad Suck Arkansas...

Posted by: kraken at August 08, 2018 05:51 PM (ffWPP)

357 If the Democrats acknowledge that they threw their best efforts out there and came up empty handed it damages the "Blue Wave" narrative hype they are putting together.
Posted by: Mikey NTH - Deplatformed? Media Platforms of Genuine Balderdash Available at The Outrage Outlet at August 08, 2018 05:48 PM (0QYMt)

-------------

For the Ohio election, 40% of R 2016 voters came out. 86% of Dem voters came out, and the Dem still lost. Not too worried about a blue wave in November.

Posted by: Calm Mentor at August 08, 2018 05:51 PM (I16G8)

358 It's discomfiting to talk to someone and see nothing but nostrils.

Is he married? I'd look it up, but seriously, his face gives me the creeps.

Bat-Boy all grown up...

*shudder*

Posted by: SMH - Get right or get left at August 08, 2018 05:51 PM (2zIj5)

359 You seem to want to lump Goldberg and Shaprio in with Kristol, McCain and those guys. Sad!


Posted by: A regular guy at August 08, 2018 05:40 PM (KSd/b)

Shapiro said racists should be hounded from their jobs, and went on to defend the New York Times hiring Sarah Jeong. Lump away, lump away.
If you join, you could help us get to 2,000 members on the AoS Moron Horde Gab group. Support media that doesn't purge conservatives:
https://tinyurl.com/y862bgj5

Posted by: Monty James at August 08, 2018 05:52 PM (28h4F)

360

remember BATMITE?

Posted by: soothsayerwing plover at August 08, 2018 05:52 PM (tpjYK)

361 354 speaking of wastelands, does anyone remember THUNDARR THE BARBARIAN!?!???!

Remembering is fun!!!!
Posted by: ace at August 08, 2018 05:51 PM (PA9oZ)


"I know, right?!"

- - Robert Plant riffing

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at August 08, 2018 05:53 PM (G4W16)

362 Goldberg doing comedy is a bold strategy cotton. Let's see if it works.

Cotton, it failed miserably.

Posted by: Pepper Brooks at August 08, 2018 05:53 PM (pw+jk)

363 354 speaking of wastelands, does anyone remember THUNDARR THE BARBARIAN!?!???!

Remembering is fun!!!!
Posted by: ace at August 08, 2018 05:51 PM (PA9oZ)

Sun Sword, bitchezzz!

Posted by: Insomniac at August 08, 2018 05:53 PM (NWiLs)

364 You know, when National Review got rid of John Derbyshire, Mark Steyn and Ann Coulter, I knew that they were going where the money was.

National Review never has made money, but exists through financial endowments made by "rich" conservatives. That's where they are going.

A lot of "rich" convervatives don't like Trump AT ALL because of his "Vulgar" populism (eyeroll) and because he is actually considering the welfare of the whole country, rather than just people making money off the decline (the rich conservatives, or whatever they really are).

Posted by: Bozo Conservative....living on the prison planet at August 08, 2018 05:53 PM (vcOmj)

365 remember VEGEMITE?

Posted by: australian ace at August 08, 2018 05:53 PM (PA9oZ)

366 Possum Trot, Kentucky is a real place.

So is Bucksnort, TN.

Don't ask how I know.
Posted by: Martini Farmer
----------------

Buckshot Ridge, NC. A place that is best avoided.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at August 08, 2018 05:53 PM (EY4jv)

367 David French calls Jonah Goldberg a "gentleman"... 'nuff said.....
Posted by: kraken

Is this before or after the butt sex?

Posted by: Biergood at August 08, 2018 05:54 PM (57HKF)

368
Dr. Spaceman
A regular guy
Mark M---s

More flack from trolls than usual.

Ace, you are directly over the target. Bombs away.

Posted by: Hands at August 08, 2018 05:54 PM (EzdLW)

369 Speaking of Thundarr,Ukla the Mok is named after UCLA where the creator went to school...

Posted by: steevy at August 08, 2018 05:54 PM (LiyEm)

370 So he and Bill Chrystal should get a room

Posted by: It's me donna at August 08, 2018 05:54 PM (O2RFr)

371 Toad Licking... Toad Sucking?

Wait, that's something totally different.

Never mind.

Posted by: Martini Farmer at August 08, 2018 05:54 PM (iiixZ)

372 Ookla. What the fuck was Ookla?

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at August 08, 2018 05:54 PM (89T5c)

373
Demon Dogs!

Posted by: Thundarr at August 08, 2018 05:54 PM (tpjYK)

374 365
remember VEGEMITE?

Posted by: australian ace at August 08, 2018 05:53 PM (PA9oZ)
Almost as disgusting as Bovril.

Posted by: IC, now with extra super elite at August 08, 2018 05:55 PM (a0IVu)

375 372. Dude, he was a Mok. 'Nuf said.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, GECSPLAN, SMR and Ancient Slavonaut Newsletters at August 08, 2018 05:55 PM (fA1SL)

376 Bug Tussle Alabama, Toad Suck Arkansas...
Posted by: kraken
-------------

Lizard Lick, NC

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at August 08, 2018 05:55 PM (EY4jv)

377 Ace,
You ought to link a video of Zero Mostel singing "Comedy Tonight" whenever you post one of these.
Most appropriate and would get everybody in the mood for the stoopid.

Posted by: Tuna at August 08, 2018 05:55 PM (jm1YL)

378 Thanks, steevy

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at August 08, 2018 05:55 PM (89T5c)

379 For the Ohio election, 40% of R 2016 voters came out. 86% of Dem voters came out, and the Dem still lost. Not too worried about a blue wave in November.
Posted by: Calm Mentor


Well I am pretty worried about a ring around the collar. Doing laundry is a drag.

Posted by: Bozo Conservative....living on the prison planet at August 08, 2018 05:56 PM (vcOmj)

380
Possum Trot, Kentucky is a real place.



So is Bucksnort, TN.



Don't ask how I know.

Posted by: Martini Farmer

====
So is Taint Lick, Oklahoma.

Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Profoundly Unserious at August 08, 2018 05:56 PM (pw+jk)

381 While Ben Shapiro is incredibly annoying with an insanely irritating voice his sister has a magnificent rack.

I couldn't get past how eerie it was to see 95% of Ben Shapiro's face on a woman.

Posted by: bonhomme at August 08, 2018 05:56 PM (9qZ3S)

382 Herculoids.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at August 08, 2018 05:56 PM (89T5c)

383 I don't think regular guy is a troll. He merely disagrees.

I don't see how he can claim the liberal Jonah Goldberg is "better than" the others, but whatever.

Posted by: australian ace at August 08, 2018 05:56 PM (PA9oZ)

384 Guy who writes about Liberal Fascism and spends his days and nights sucking up to liberal fascists.

Comedy gold.
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at August 08, 2018 05:41 PM (G4W16)


Yeah, ain't life funny.

I really respect the guy who wrote Liberal Fascism.

The guy he evolved into?

Not so much.*









*Ancient comedy meme to fit in with this thread

Posted by: naturalfake at August 08, 2018 05:56 PM (z7pBf)

385 Twitter is a great resource. Just a collection of mini-blogs and link farms, really. If you use it that way.


I don't even know the correct terms, but I just look for a select group of posters, look at only their actual feed or timeline or whatever it's called, don't look at responses.


Example: Techno Fog, who's running a daily summary of the Manafort trial based on transcripts. He's not a trial lawer, but he makes an effort to excerpt and focus on/discuss big things that happen. It's great. As someone else online noted, his "coverage" is vastly better than the WaPo's coverage.


I don't have an account. I don't "follow" anyone. I just remember who to check in on, depending on the topic. Plus, the better people serve as mini-aggregators themselves, as they "re-tweet" select stuff (giving one new leads to follow, if desired).


Posted by: rhomboid at August 08, 2018 05:56 PM (QDnY+)

386 Spaaaace Ghoooost!

Posted by: Insomniac at August 08, 2018 05:56 PM (NWiLs)

387 I couldn't get past how eerie it was to see 95% of Ben Shapiro's face on a woman.
Posted by: bonhomme at August 08, 2018 05:56 PM (9qZ3S)

Yeah, that's a no go.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at August 08, 2018 05:57 PM (5jVnA)

388 >>>While Ben Shapiro is incredibly annoying with an insanely irritating voice his sister has a magnificent rack.

Unfortunately, his sister looks like Ben Shapiro with a magnificent rack.

Posted by: El Kabong at August 08, 2018 05:57 PM (datdl)

389 Wounded Knee, another place to be avoided.

- General Custer

Posted by: Martini Farmer at August 08, 2018 05:57 PM (iiixZ)

390 Actually according to IMDB it was the series creators friend who went to UCLA and came up with the name.

Posted by: steevy at August 08, 2018 05:57 PM (LiyEm)

391 I couldn't get past how eerie it was to see 95% of Ben Shapiro's face on a woman.

Posted by: bonhomme


Dude. You were looking at her face?

Posted by: pep at August 08, 2018 05:57 PM (T6t7i)

392 *riiiiiing* Do you have Prince Albert in a can? *tee hee*

Posted by: Jonah Goldfinger at August 08, 2018 05:57 PM (Tyii7)

393 Is this before or after the butt sex?
Posted by: Biergood

Well, definitely after.

Gentlemen don't kiss and tell.

Posted by: Bozo Conservative....living on the prison planet at August 08, 2018 05:57 PM (vcOmj)

394 Geebus. I don't checkin for a few days and read headlines. We are on the crazy train. Never think it can't get worse.

Posted by: Infidel at August 08, 2018 05:57 PM (4qmp5)

395 I was on Trevor Noah haters!

Posted by: Jonah at August 08, 2018 05:57 PM (SkuXa)

396 JONAH GOLDBERG!!!

Posted by: the huy who yells 'jonah goldberg!' at August 08, 2018 05:58 PM (Evws/)

397 Well I am pretty worried about a ring around the collar. Doing laundry is a drag.
Posted by: Bozo Conservative....living on the prison planet at August 08, 2018 05:56 PM (vcOmj)
--------

Good thing you're getting married.

I'M KIDDING SHIBUMI DON'T HATE ME

Posted by: bluebell at August 08, 2018 05:58 PM (JJZzu)

398 Unfortunately, his sister looks like Ben Shapiro with a magnificent rack.

butterface

Posted by: Jonah Goldfinger at August 08, 2018 05:58 PM (Tyii7)

399 Dude. You were looking at her face?
Posted by: pep at August 08, 2018 05:57 PM (T6t7i)

You misspelled "his."

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at August 08, 2018 05:58 PM (5jVnA)

400 Herculoids were cool to.I liked the triceratops type creature that shot flaming rocks from it's horn...

Posted by: steevy at August 08, 2018 05:58 PM (LiyEm)

401 "For the Ohio election, 40% of R 2016 voters came out. 86% of Dem voters
came out, and the Dem still lost. Not too worried about a blue wave in
November."

Exactly. They threw their best shot at it and still lost, and while I doubt the Dems will top 85% in November, I'm confident the Reps will easily top 40%.

Posted by: Mikey NTH - Deplatformed? Media Platforms of Genuine Balderdash Available at The Outrage Outlet at August 08, 2018 05:58 PM (0QYMt)

402 394 Geebus. I don't checkin for a few days and read headlines. We are on the crazy train. Never think it can't get worse.
Posted by: Infidel at August 08, 2018 05:57 PM (4qmp5)

Ozzy Osbourne agrees...

Posted by: kraken at August 08, 2018 05:59 PM (ffWPP)

403 This is hilarious. What's also hilarious is when Goldberg's references are from John Belushi sketches from the 1970s. That's like John Belushi making Amos and Andy references.

Posted by: bjstuggzzz at August 08, 2018 05:59 PM (e44Qj)

404 Cartoons kicked ass in the 80s.

Posted by: Insomniac at August 08, 2018 05:59 PM (NWiLs)

405 Them Toad Suckers
--------

How about Them Toad Suckers,
Ain't they clods?
Sittin' there suckin'
Them green toady-frogs.
Suckin' them hop-toads,
Suckin' them chunkers,
Suckin' them leapy types,
Suckin' them plunkers.
Look at Them Toad Suckers,
Ain't they snappy?
Suckin' them bog-frogs
Sure makes'em happy.
Them huggermugger Toad Suckers,
Way down south,
Stickin' them sucky-toads
In they mouth.
How to be a Toad Sucker?
No way to duck it.
Gittchyself a toad,
Rare back and suck it!

Posted by: Mason Williams at August 08, 2018 06:00 PM (EY4jv)

406
Princess Arial, Thundarr's "companion," had a perfect body.

Posted by: Soothsayer -- Fake Commenter at August 08, 2018 06:00 PM (tpjYK)

407 >>>403 This is hilarious. What's also hilarious is when Goldberg's references are from John Belushi sketches from the 1970s. That's like John Belushi making Amos and Andy references.

right. I hate to pull The Current Year meme, but in The Current Year, one should limit one's references to things that happened in Current Year Minus One and Current Year Minus Two.

Posted by: ace at August 08, 2018 06:00 PM (PA9oZ)

408 Then they started requiring educational bullshit shows and that was the beginning of the end.

Posted by: Insomniac at August 08, 2018 06:00 PM (NWiLs)

409 287 >>>278
...

It took 20 minutes. how many hours has Jonah spent on twitter the last two days, Chum?
Posted by: ace at August 08, 2018 05:38 PM (PA9oZ)

===

Ace has written several classic pieces that deserve MUCH more praise than they've got. "How They Built The Bomb" is one of the best takes on the housing crisis that was written before The Fall of Everything and the reign of Obama.

Your piece on the Media and the MacGuffin were classics, too.

You're better than this. I get going after twats like Bill Krystal or whatever. But your site is a whole of attacks on other conservatives endlessly. Goldberg wrote "Liberal Fascism" for which the Left and Academia (but I repeat myself) will NEVER forgive him.

Posted by: Dr Spaceman at August 08, 2018 06:00 PM (x2qkA)

410 The flying dragon that shot lasers out his eyes and tail.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at August 08, 2018 06:00 PM (89T5c)

411 Wounded Knee, another place to be avoided.

- General Custer


The fuck?

Posted by: Bull Run at August 08, 2018 06:01 PM (fuK7c)

412 Welcome to Gun Barrel City, TX

Posted by: Ben Had at August 08, 2018 06:01 PM (fIPpO)

413 And the luggage salesman! He was awesome.
------
Those aren't PILLOWS!

I love that part.

Posted by: andycanuck at August 08, 2018 06:01 PM (Evws/)

414 Give me two penis colada, one for each hand #getitlol

Posted by: Jonah Goldburg at August 08, 2018 06:01 PM (JpWcH)

415
Good thing you're getting married.



I'M KIDDING SHIBUMI DON'T HATE ME





Posted by: bluebell at August 08, 2018 05:58 PM (JJZzu)
Heh! You are so bad..

Posted by: IC, now with extra super elite at August 08, 2018 06:01 PM (a0IVu)

416 "I don't have an account. I don't "follow" anyone."

You could have just used RSS/Atom and tracked a real blog. Then it couldn't be censored by a third party.

Posted by: goodluckduck at August 08, 2018 06:01 PM (rwaEp)

417 412. Dime Box, Texas

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, GECSPLAN, SMR and Ancient Slavonaut Newsletters at August 08, 2018 06:02 PM (fA1SL)

418
Years ago we had discussed how creepy it was when we were in school and there was a cute girl, and then we'd see her brother, and she looked just like her brother.

Posted by: Soothsayer -- Fake Commenter at August 08, 2018 06:02 PM (tpjYK)

419 Cartoons kicked ass in the 80s.
Posted by: Insomniac at August 08, 2018 05:59 PM (NWiLs)

-------------

The 70s were pretty damned good for them too.

Posted by: Calm Mentor at August 08, 2018 06:02 PM (I16G8)

420 You want something positive about Jonah?


All right, here it is: Jonah Goldberg does not write for the Weekly Kristol.

There, that's something good.

Posted by: Huck Follywood, The Bill Of Rights enthusiast at August 08, 2018 06:02 PM (LISuA)

421 While Ben Shapiro is incredibly annoying with an insanely irritating voice his sister has a magnificent rack.


No matter which one of these dipshits we're talking about, the conversation always turns to Ben Shapiro's sister's giant tits.

Posted by: tu3031 at August 08, 2018 06:02 PM (jDF8P)

422 If Thundarr wasn't doing Ariel,Ookla was.

Posted by: steevy at August 08, 2018 06:02 PM (LiyEm)

423 And his mom's website has turned to shit.

Posted by: Regular joe at August 08, 2018 06:03 PM (7PllL)

424 Don't miss Jonah opening for Sinbad Sept. 8-11 at the Mt. Pleasant Chuckle Hut!

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at August 08, 2018 06:03 PM (oVJmc)

425 419 Cartoons kicked ass in the 80s.
Posted by: Insomniac at August 08, 2018 05:59 PM (NWiLs)

-------------

The 70s were pretty damned good for them too.
Posted by: Calm Mentor at August 08, 2018 06:02 PM (I16G


50's, now.... Lawn, remove thyself.

Posted by: Don Q at August 08, 2018 06:03 PM (NgKpN)

426 If Thundarr wasn't doing Ariel,Ookla was.

Y'know where they got the name Ookla?

Some of the producers went to UCLA.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at August 08, 2018 06:04 PM (oVJmc)

427 see nood for quick update.

Posted by: ace at August 08, 2018 06:04 PM (PA9oZ)

428 424 Don't miss Jonah opening for Sinbad Sept. 8-11 at the Mt. Pleasant Chuckle Hut!
Posted by: Mr. Peebles at August 08, 2018 06:03 PM (oVJmc)

phrasing

Posted by: Warai-otoko at August 08, 2018 06:04 PM (BRvh1)

429 It must be suppertime.

Posted by: Jonah Goldfinger at August 08, 2018 06:05 PM (Tyii7)

430 This is interesting. Hollyweird is creating a new Oscar category, outstanding achievement in popular film. I guess so they can continue to give each other awards for SJW bullshit and still throw a bone to the hillbillies in flyover country. And make some money.

https://bit.ly/2APzJAd

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, 3-D Printed Version at August 08, 2018 06:05 PM (+y/Ru)

431 >>>424 Don't miss Jonah opening for Sinbad Sept. 8-11 at the Mt. Pleasant Chuckle Hut!
Posted by: Mr. Peebles

Chuckle Hut is a good one. Sounds almost real.

Posted by: ace at August 08, 2018 06:05 PM (PA9oZ)

432
353 Like that movie! The one we've both seen! I love that we both have watched things!
-------
The one with the volcano!


Posted by: andycanuck

And the luggage salesman! He was awesome.

i have no response to that

Posted by: Anachronda at August 08, 2018 06:05 PM (xGZ+b)

433 So I did a goog's search for "Ben Shapiro's sister's giant tits."


Magnificent! Like a sexbot with Ben's face. And big titties!

Posted by: Jonah Goldburg at August 08, 2018 06:05 PM (JpWcH)

434 Cartoons kicked ass in the 80s.

Back in the 80s, sure.

Try and watch TMNT, He Man, Thundercats, The Real Ghostbusters, or any number of other 80s cartoons again today.

Un-watchable.

Maybe if I were a drunk stoner I could make it through a whole episode of Thundercats. Maybe.

Posted by: bonhomme at August 08, 2018 06:05 PM (9qZ3S)

435 >>>All right, here it is: Jonah Goldberg does not write for the Weekly Kristol.


for now.

Posted by: ace at August 08, 2018 06:05 PM (PA9oZ)

436 50's, now.... Lawn, remove thyself.
Posted by: Don Q at August 08, 2018 06:03 PM (NgKpN)

Aren't you up past your bedtime?

Posted by: Insomniac at August 08, 2018 06:06 PM (NWiLs)

437 Nood

Posted by: Calm Mentor at August 08, 2018 06:06 PM (I16G8)

438 403 This is hilarious. What's also hilarious is when Goldberg's references are from John Belushi sketches from the 1970s. That's like John Belushi making Amos and Andy references.
Posted by: bjstuggzzz at August 08, 2018 05:59 PM (e44Qj)


Good point...

I remember in the 60's all the kids saying big band and swing was just soooooo Old...

Yet a lot of it was only 20 to 30 years old... now we listen to classic rock, that if over FIFTY years old.

Posted by: Don Q at August 08, 2018 06:06 PM (NgKpN)

439
417. Across the tracks from Old Dime Box, TX. There's a Sorb museum near Giddings.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at August 08, 2018 06:06 PM (LsBY9)

440 Who the hell is Jonah Goldberg?

Posted by: Burger Chef at August 08, 2018 06:06 PM (RuIsu)

441 425: I watch the original Tom and Jerry and Looney Tunes with the youngun'. Funny as all hell.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at August 08, 2018 06:06 PM (89T5c)

442 OT - Palp/others, finishing up an interesting Stalingrad book (based entirely on interviews with vets/participants), and at one point someone referred to always looking for German pistols (presumably Lugers?), because the Red Army soldiers thought them superior to their own ...... Nagant revolvers? Semi-autos? They didn't specify, and I don't know what common issue would have been in late '42.


Anyway, even though the connection isn't made in quotes used in the book, later on when discussing "storm groups" (small groups of soldiers used to raid/seize German positions, usually at night - an innovation of Gen. Chuikov and the Stalingrad defenders), they mention the problem of weapons - usually knives and clubs were used indoors, due to space making rifles and SMGs less practical - but don't say how handguns could have been useful.

Posted by: rhomboid at August 08, 2018 06:06 PM (QDnY+)

443 I like references in comedy, they just aren't being used well in this case. As the post itself pointed out, a lot of these are simply dated memes.

References work better when based on themes or being tailored to specific audiences, imo, e.g. Psych and it's love of 80's cultural references during comedic bits.

Posted by: Sjg at August 08, 2018 06:07 PM (gDSJf)

444 nood...kinda

Posted by: tu3031 at August 08, 2018 06:07 PM (jDF8P)

445 422 If Thundarr wasn't doing Ariel,Ookla was.
Posted by: steevy at August 08, 2018 06:02 PM (LiyEm)

I dare you to find that kind of keen insight at any other smart military blog.

Posted by: ScoggDog at August 08, 2018 06:07 PM (E7zwb)

446 Then they started requiring educational bullshit shows and that was the beginning of the end.
Posted by: Insomniac
-------
Fawlty Towers >> Mr. Rogers

An acquaintance was recently waxing euphoric over the Mr. Rogers movie. She mentioned his full name, Fred McFeely Rogers.

Well, sure.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at August 08, 2018 06:07 PM (EY4jv)

447 445 422 If Thundarr wasn't doing Ariel,Ookla was.
Posted by: steevy at August 08, 2018 06:02 PM (LiyEm)

I dare you to find that kind of keen insight at any other smart military blog.
Posted by: ScoggDog at August 08, 2018 06:07 PM (E7zwb)

Ariel was definitely a 1.

Posted by: Insomniac at August 08, 2018 06:07 PM (NWiLs)

448 Morons: this is a story about Naomi 'SexyCyborg' Wu.

There is a young woman, Naomi Wu, who lives in China. She was making money on social media (as "SexyCyborg" and she is pretty good-looking), and using social media to try to push Chinese society towards treating women better. Vice wanted to do a story on her... she agreed as long as they didn't touch certain areas of her life that she felt would put her at risk (because she lives in freaking China). Once it was too late for her to back out they broke their agreement.

Nobody was paying attention to her and she couldn't do much (not-rich woman in China versus Vice and the lawyers who work for Vice). She pulled a minor bit of doxxing against the reporter who mistreated her. Here's a quote from her about this:

"In China doxxing is bad if you do it for bad reasons. If there is video of a man tortureing a dog to death on the street I and other Chinese will try to find and doxx him. If someone does something bad- if the police can't find him, Human Search Engine time."

Vice responded by de-platforming her. They got Patreon to de-list her, hitting her squarely in the pocketbook. (I guess Patreon has a zero-tolerance policy about doxxing.)

And then... Sarah Jeong piled on. In this interview in Motherboard she lays it all out, including what Sarah Jeong said and did. She initially assumed that it was a misunderstanding but now she thinks that Sarah Jeong did it with cold malice.

She is not sanguine about what will happen when Sarah Jeong has the resources of the New York Times to help her do stuff.

Sarah Jeong -- just say no.

https://bit.ly/2OcVZ8S

Posted by: mr_jack at August 08, 2018 06:08 PM (57l0O)

449 Nancy Pelosi: Voting for Democrats gives "leverage" to illegal immigrants

-
Yeah, Nanzi. Run on that.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, 3-D Printed Version at August 08, 2018 06:08 PM (+y/Ru)

450 The latest at The Weekly Standard:
"The Case for Banning Alex Jones" by Jonathan V. Last.
Because of course.

Posted by: BasedLutheran at August 08, 2018 06:08 PM (qXnuc)

451 I tried to tell Jonah Goldberg that he went off the deep end. I e-mailed him back in the day about his second book. I thought I has some, albeit small, influence with him. Nope. He likes to liken himself to Jay Nock and be part of some "remnant." I wrote to him "Put down the cape!" No amount of success on Trump's part is enough. "Those the gods wish to destroy, they first make proud."

I wish him the best. But holy smokes! What a maroon.

Posted by: JAS at August 08, 2018 06:08 PM (3HNOQ)

452 ''And his mom's website has turned to shit. ''

Quit Lucianne during the 2016 election. I had been checking out her site since the early 2000s. The negativity towards Trump drove me away. Haven't been back since. Sad.

Posted by: Tuna at August 08, 2018 06:09 PM (jm1YL)

453 Goldberg wrote "Liberal Fascism" for which the Left and Academia (but I repeat myself) will NEVER forgive him.
Posted by: Dr Spaceman at August 08, 2018 06:00 PM (x2qkA)

Goldberg himself seems to have forgotten that he wrote it, given his recent prediliction for cheerleading facists in the name of opposing Trump.

Posted by: Sjg at August 08, 2018 06:10 PM (gDSJf)

454 I used to read Jonah Goldberg's weekly musings. I lost interest after a few months. Between his droning on and on about what historical leaders THOUGHT ( freaking political science majors) and devoting a third of his column to the latest whatever of his goddamn dog - I am done. Waste of my time.

Posted by: The Guy at August 08, 2018 06:12 PM (Gq76U)

455 So that "article" Jonah Assburg posted (the top tweet), at 10 AM this morning, has all of 8 comments......


He really is just an asshole person. He sweats assholes and shits himself to death......

Posted by: SSBN 656 (G) at August 08, 2018 06:22 PM (5AVMW)

456 His mother needs to bitch-slap him for his apparent abuse of drugs.

Posted by: Cheri at August 08, 2018 06:25 PM (oiNtH)

457 grumbleflaunt. superb.

Posted by: Boson Condensate at August 08, 2018 06:44 PM (Kz+Lw)

458 I think Jonah et al realize their careers are over and these are just dumb attempts at gallows humor while waiting for new management to formally layoff their valueless team of smug paper pushers.

Honestly, I have to think NRO and TWS won't be in business much longer. Who is reading them anymore besides their little twitter clique of about 8 people? I don't think Steve Hayes would be taking a year off to tour Spain if business were exactly rolling. BTW, TWS 2018 cruise info is still "coming soon!". I guess they're waiting for hurricane season to set sail.

http://www.twscruise.com/

Also, I noticed that Jonah's new book has...160 reviews...in nearly 4 months. We're a week into August and he now has, er, three reviews, one of which is a 1-star review.

Posted by: MountainWalker at August 08, 2018 06:59 PM (79e/7)

459
So Jonah Goldberg makes $190,000.00
and Kevin W. only makes 180,000.00 per year.
wut?
And how does Jay afford all those trips to Bayreuth or wherever on 97500.00 per year.

Posted by: Glenn John at August 08, 2018 07:12 PM (LilNs)

460 Jonah Goldberg has been nowhere near as funny as watching Ace go steadily insane over the last couple of years, it's true

Posted by: Slim at August 08, 2018 07:30 PM (zPP9k)

461 Posted by: Slim at August 08, 2018 07:30 PM (zPP9k)

--------------

That comment does not get to be last, Douchebag.

Posted by: Calm Mentor at August 08, 2018 07:33 PM (I16G8)

462 You sure showed me, fuckwad.

Posted by: Slim at August 08, 2018 07:42 PM (zPP9k)

463 Say whatever you want about Goldberg...but the dude's got a nice set of tits...

Posted by: God Bless Tiny Tim... at August 08, 2018 08:01 PM (7DG+y)

464 You sure showed me, fuckwad.
Posted by: Slim at August 08, 2018 07:42 PM (zPP9k)

----------

Yeah we did, shitstain.

Posted by: Calm Mentor at August 08, 2018 08:10 PM (I16G8)

465 Remember the regular posts about Andrew Sullivan, and the accompanying cartoon of a spazzed out, freaking out Sullivan drooling over his keyboard? How sad is that the image can be applied to Ace, and whatever the hell he's become.

Posted by: Little Green Aceballs at August 08, 2018 08:15 PM (/pJR8)

466 Who is reading them anymore besides their little twitter clique of about 8 people? I

A helluva lot more people than are reading this blog, ant least compared to a few years ago when Ace was still sane and producing interesting content. Back when he had A-list co-bloggers, who have all noticeably ditched him.

Posted by: Little Green Aceballs at August 08, 2018 08:17 PM (/pJR8)

467 Posted by: Little Green Aceballs at August 08, 2018 08:17 PM (/pJR

------------

Same deal with you, cumstain.

Posted by: Calm Mentor at August 08, 2018 08:37 PM (I16G8)

468 Keep it up, pal. Maybe if ypu do real good Ace will give you a reacharound while you watch one of Trump's Bund rallies.

Posted by: Slim at August 08, 2018 08:39 PM (zPP9k)

469 Posted by: Slim at August 08, 2018 08:39 PM (zPP9k)

-------------

I already have your Mom for those needs, shithead. Keeping her back shaved has been quite a chore though.

Posted by: Calm Mentor at August 08, 2018 08:54 PM (I16G8)

470 you killing your blog re-posting tweets. jonah goldberg's semi cryptic tweets are not interesting

Posted by: ahzoo at August 08, 2018 09:17 PM (wK745)

471 Sorry about that. Afterwards, though, you and the rest of the whiny, weak-willed pussies on this site can compile some tweets and bitch and moan some more about how the media are big ol' meanies too you-- and maybe agitate for Uncle Sugar to pass some regulations to protect you. You, know, real conservative stuff.

Bye, you dumb cunt.

Posted by: Slim at August 08, 2018 09:20 PM (zPP9k)

472 Posted by: Slim at August 08, 2018 09:20 PM (zPP9k)

----------

And here I thought we were just getting to be friends.

Posted by: Calm Mentor at August 08, 2018 09:48 PM (I16G8)

473 you killing your blog re-posting tweets. jonah goldberg's semi cryptic tweets are not interesting


yet here you are.

Posted by: toby928 at August 08, 2018 10:12 PM (yQpMk)

474 Point made: Jonah is tedious and unfunny.

Please stop giving him free exposure, okay? For the same reason I fast-forward through the Tucker Carlson interviews with rabid leftists. To recast the old joke, TuCa may have to, but I don't!


Posted by: Fred at August 09, 2018 07:47 AM (AgXWi)

475 The Papal Ninja is the nickname chosen by an American Ninja Warrior competitor who is a married Catholic and works for the Dominicans as a layman. He is a normal guy who comes from Berkeley, so I guess that makes him a raging conservative in the eyes of his friends. Anyway, his outfit is Vatican State colors, went to seminary before discerning out, etc.

But yeah, it is silly not to let his followers even know what he is talking about, or use the hashtags.

Posted by: Suburbanbanshee at August 09, 2018 08:47 AM (sF8WE)

476 thanks for laying it on this mediocrity trying so hard to be funny (and failing miserably). ever since I read liberal fascism it was obvious to me that what Jonah really wanted was to be an Ivy League professor. of course he would never be admitted to a competitive phd program and his book (much esteemed among consevrative intellectuals) would never pass a dissertation proposal stage. the giveaway is starting the book with definitions... nobody does this, it's a real tell of amateurism.

it's notable that so very few conservative intellectuals even have phds. look at main think tanks and their credentials are on par with a community college.

Posted by: kata at August 09, 2018 04:15 PM (Zhe6p)

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