Guy Prints Up Hilarious Parody "Quote" From Michael Wolff Book; A Blue Checkmarker Falls For It

Okay, at what point do you officially disbelieve this quote?

Wow, this extract from Wolff’s book is a shocking insight into Trump’s mind: pic.twitter.com/1ZecclggSa
— pixelated boat (@pixelatedboat) January 5, 2018

Well, this guy -- your Intellectual Better -- thinks it's real.

Oh, Scott pic.twitter.com/EwkSdtCfLq
— Alex Griswold (@HashtagGriswold) January 5, 2018

Scott Dworkin's twitter bio reads:

Co-Founder @TheDemCoalition. #AMJoy on MSNBC Contributor. I help lead #TheResistance. Obama Alum.

So, there you go.

Smart they are not.

Update: Noted expert about the nation of Peruvia, Toure, also fell for it. At least he thought it was really from the Wolff book, though he doubted the story, recounted by Wolff, was true:

.@Toure is a verifiable dumbass. pic.twitter.com/gA73PbmDk2
— Jerry Dunleavy 🎄🎅🏽 (@JerryDunleavy) January 5, 2018

Another one: This guy's an "Atlantic magazine contributor."

This is my favorite part of Wolff's book so far. Amazing for what it says about this administration! (It's worse than you think!!). So amazing, I can barely even believe it. It's *literally* incredible@Pixelatedboat caught it first (he's a quicker reader than I). Reproducing: pic.twitter.com/qtOaNDxnx2
— Shadi Hamid (@shadihamid) January 5, 2018

Update: People point out that this guy said the quote was "*literally* incredible" -- he seems to have been in on the prank, and was just sharing it so that others could enjoy it.

Posted by: Ace at 12:13 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 The quote is hilarious. But the "four inches" part is where I realized the joke.

Posted by: wooga at January 05, 2018 12:10 PM (7LTrc)

2 I shit you not, I saw a response to the Gorilla Quote that was "You can't make this stuff up!"

Posted by: Semper Why at January 05, 2018 12:11 PM (wrzX1)

3 I believe that Trump would have a "gorilla fighting channel" playing on endless loop in an office, just for ambience and to disorient visitors. But talking to the screen is a bridge too far.

Posted by: wooga at January 05, 2018 12:12 PM (7LTrc)

4
This Scott Dworkin individual. Did he have anything to do with the Iran deal?

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at January 05, 2018 12:13 PM (5Ijcd)

5 All Gorilla channel would be a vast improvement over the crap shows out now.

Posted by: EC at January 05, 2018 12:13 PM (cdr7G)

6 Honestly.

Even if you take a charitable interpretation and think he was talking about NatGeo, the broadcast tower is a dead give away.

Anyone who's been to college knows you can splice in a TV channel pretty easily if you control the actual equipment. Every college has one. Many freaking large office buildings do too. You don't need a freaking transmitter tower.

Posted by: tsrlbke PhD(c), rogue bioethicist at January 05, 2018 12:13 PM (dzmBR)

7 I saw this yesterday.... I just thought that if this is really the kind of thing that's in the book, surely no one will take it seriously!!

Posted by: Becky Lineback at January 05, 2018 12:14 PM (kj0P/)

8 If I see a particularly stupid political statement on Twitter, I check the bio and almost invariably it has #The Resistance or #Resist listed in there.

These people are mentally ill.

Posted by: Jeff Weimer at January 05, 2018 12:14 PM (2kiKp)

9 I got it right off the bat. Gorilla Channel. Please, and the TV is "broken" because it doesn't get an off-the-air channel? HRC, I could see this. Trump? Does he even watch TV except to get info on people? Oy vey

Posted by: SFGoth at January 05, 2018 12:14 PM (dZ756)

10 Trump reads the HQ's Gorilla Pundit!!!

Posted by: andycanuck at January 05, 2018 12:14 PM (QCX64)

11 Trump: The Art of the Peel

Posted by: wooga at January 05, 2018 12:15 PM (7LTrc)

12 Posted by: tsrlbke PhD(c), rogue bioethicist at January 05, 2018 12:13 PM (dzmBR)

The tower was here I concluded it was satire.

Posted by: Jeff Weimer at January 05, 2018 12:15 PM (2kiKp)

13 Monkey knife fights or GTFO

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Booking Agent, Aero Pinochet at January 05, 2018 12:15 PM (fA1SL)

14 Gorilla Channel: On Like Donkey Kong!

Posted by: EC at January 05, 2018 12:16 PM (cdr7G)

15
I guess that some folks' chains are far too heavy to be yanked.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at January 05, 2018 12:16 PM (pNxlR)

16 Wolff's recklessness fuels the Trump administration's critique of journalists and the media. It suggests that journalists really are out to get the president -- after all, in Fire and Fury, Wolff suggests that journalists will print anything, so long as it casts Trump in a bad light. The rewards are clear: His cavalier reporting has led to TV bookings, a #1 Amazon bestseller, and insane traffic for any of the outlets that agreed to publish his work.

Posted by: undocumented illegal SMOD at January 05, 2018 12:17 PM (e8kgV)

17 And that guys are such brain-dead wishcasters that Pixelated Boat had to change his twitter tag to The Gorilla Channel Thing Is A Joke.

Posted by: andycanuck at January 05, 2018 12:17 PM (QCX64)

18 Trump wasn't angry because they weren't fighting, and he didn't ask for the "gorilla channel" in any event.

He asked for the "chimp channel," and complained that it didn't have the footage of the chimp smelling his finger and falling out of the baobab tree.

Every president seeking to remain sane should see that at least once daily.

Posted by: Zod at January 05, 2018 12:17 PM (Bdeb0)

19 Dworkin dorkin'.
He looks to be a thumb ovoid hybrid of some sort.

Posted by: wth at January 05, 2018 12:17 PM (HgMAr)

20 More Trump: "Get me Dian Fossey on the phone so we can teach those gorillas the secret White Power "okay" hand gesture!"

Posted by: ShainS at January 05, 2018 12:18 PM (BiLU+)

21 The psychosis is strong in this one

Posted by: undocumented illegal Darth Vader at January 05, 2018 12:18 PM (e8kgV)

22 The tower was here I concluded it was satire.
Posted by: Jeff Weimer at January 05, 2018 12:15 PM (2kiKp)

I looked at paragraph one and said "Wolfe is being stupid and it's nat geo. I know lots of people who like watching nat geo."

By paragraph you know it's a joke.
By the end it's obvious. 17 hours a day?

Posted by: tsrlbke PhD(c), rogue bioethicist at January 05, 2018 12:18 PM (dzmBR)

23 This is funny in a very unreal and weird way.

Posted by: Soona at January 05, 2018 12:18 PM (ZijL5)

24 And "those guys" I should 'say'.

Posted by: andycanuck at January 05, 2018 12:19 PM (QCX64)

25
'S ok - Dworkin has often referred to the Star Wars output as "those magnificent documentary films".

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at January 05, 2018 12:20 PM (pNxlR)

26 my gorilla channel works fine!

Posted by: musical jolly chimp at January 05, 2018 12:20 PM (Pg+x7)

27 [makes "OK" gesture as best he can]

Posted by: koko the gorilla hand-signing at January 05, 2018 12:21 PM (QCX64)

28 He asked for the "chimp channel,"...
Posted by: Zod at January 05, 2018 12:17 PM (Bdeb0)

So they turned on C-SPAN...

Posted by: No One of Consequence at January 05, 2018 12:21 PM (+F0Wk)

29 You'd think there would be brains behind that huge forehead, but you'd be wrong.

Posted by: wth at January 05, 2018 12:21 PM (HgMAr)

30 Me drink nana daquaris while watch gorilla channel.

Posted by: Zombie Harambe at January 05, 2018 12:21 PM (bc2Lc)

31 [throws poo; signs "gorillas suck"]

Posted by: washoe the chimp hand-signing at January 05, 2018 12:22 PM (QCX64)

32 Hilarious, yes, but the problem is that truth / fiction isn't a concept for them; we're going to be hearing this repeated as gospel years from now, just like the "ok sign is white supremacist" nonsense.

Posted by: sock_rat_eez, they are gaslighting us 24/365 at January 05, 2018 12:23 PM (oVWx5)

33 He asked for the "chimp channel," ...

Posted by: Zod at January 05, 2018 12:17 PM (Bdeb0)

==========

Isn't that one of those reality shows about the Bush family?

Posted by: ShainS at January 05, 2018 12:23 PM (BiLU+)

34 Where is the love, people... could no one come down and say nood?

Posted by: redbanzai at January 05, 2018 12:23 PM (rAIG/)

35 How can any sane person not hold the media in complete and utter contempt?
And yet they persist in their belief they are smarter than the average rock.

Posted by: Northernlurker, am I lurking or am I skulking at January 05, 2018 12:24 PM (nBr1j)

36 Gorilla based content.

24 hours a day.

Take my money.

Posted by: jsg at January 05, 2018 12:24 PM (gs8be)

37 So, in his defense.... I'd watch that gorilla channel.

Posted by: joe, living dangerously at January 05, 2018 12:24 PM (KUaJL)

38 This isn't atypical.

On his first night in the White House, Obama complained because the t.v. was broken. It apparently didn't get the "bear channel," that existed of nothing but hirsute, portly male homosexualists. White House staffers made up a "bear channel, but Obama complained that they were "just standing around in leather get-ups" and weren't "diggin' up in there."

Staff edited it, Obama was satisfied. "Sometimes he kneels up there, with his face about four inches from the screen."

Plus ca change.

Posted by: Zod at January 05, 2018 12:24 PM (Bdeb0)

39 I just wanted to see Diane Fossey pull a Gorilla Train!

Posted by: Trump at January 05, 2018 12:25 PM (iCu30)

40 Gorillapundit could not be reached for comment.

Posted by: joe, living dangerously at January 05, 2018 12:25 PM (KUaJL)

41 The Gorilla Channel's pretty good, but the Punk Chimpanzee show is also lively and entertaining when the Gorilla Channel is on hiatus.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at January 05, 2018 12:25 PM (LjgWA)

42 You actually CAN make this stuff up.

Posted by: jd at January 05, 2018 12:25 PM (c2pxW)

43 I've watched the gorilla channel. The sitcoms are the best. I decided to watch a commentary show but it was "The View". I'm sticking with the sitcoms.

Posted by: Soona at January 05, 2018 12:25 PM (ZijL5)

44 Scott Dworkin's twitter bio reads:

Co-Founder @TheDemCoalition. #AMJoy on MSNBC Contributor. I help lead #TheResistance. Obama Alum.

Oh goody, he can join Tom Hanks on the "ramparts"

Posted by: TheQuietMan at January 05, 2018 12:25 PM (493sH)

45 This is the funniest sh*t. I'm still giggling.

Like, full-on little girl, totally unseemly and mildly embarrassing giggling.

I hope there are more fake excerpts from that book. It's a rich comedy mine.

Posted by: Lance McCormick at January 05, 2018 12:25 PM (qHxA7)

46 In a Zod White House, EVERY week would be Shark Week.

Posted by: Zod at January 05, 2018 12:26 PM (Bdeb0)

47 Obama Alum?

So. A Swallower.

Posted by: garrett at January 05, 2018 12:26 PM (iCu30)

48 Seems to me that if there isn't a Gorilla Channel there ought to be one, because eventually they'll start running out of content and will go over to documentaries speculating about alien Gorillas. Major win, especially if you're a stoner.

Posted by: joncelli, because somebody had to at January 05, 2018 12:26 PM (RD7QR)

49 Sonobi is out? SONOBI IS OUT?!

Posted by: Insomniac - Meet the New Year, same as the old year at January 05, 2018 12:26 PM (NWiLs)

50 "Oh, Scott" pretty much sums it up

Posted by: Hands at January 05, 2018 12:26 PM (EzdLW)

51 We prefer the Dog Shooting Channel.

Posted by: Your friendly local police department at January 05, 2018 12:27 PM (NWiLs)

52 Never go full Griswold.

Posted by: Sean Connery at January 05, 2018 12:27 PM (WbIyz)

53

Take your stinking paws of my channel you damn dirty gorillas

Posted by: TheQuietMan at January 05, 2018 12:27 PM (493sH)

54 Somebody needs to start a rumour that gays, lesbians and the media are being sent to camps in Alaska.
Sarah Pailin will be the commandant.

Posted by: Northernlurker, am I lurking or am I skulking at January 05, 2018 12:27 PM (nBr1j)

55 Trump's tweets hurt my feelings. I feel small. Alas, I am so disconsolate I think I lack the energy to shave, or comb my hair today. Woe is me.

Posted by: Sloppy Steve Bannon at January 05, 2018 12:27 PM (QDnY+)

56 Did Dubya watch ChimpTV?

Posted by: WhatWhatWhat? at January 05, 2018 12:27 PM (ul9CR)

57 Co-Founder @TheDemCoalition. #AMJoy on MSNBC Contributor. I help lead #TheResistance. Obama Alum.

---

Obama. Alum.

It really isn't hard to see how people like Hitler and Stalin could come into power.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - Bama's Boot Stomping on the Face of College Football Forever at January 05, 2018 12:28 PM (ks6bw)

58 "Have you said encouraging things to a Gorilla, today?"

Posted by: The Ad Council at January 05, 2018 12:28 PM (iCu30)

59 54 Somebody needs to start a rumour that gays, lesbians and the media are being sent to camps in Alaska.
Sarah Pailin will be the commandant.
Posted by: Northernlurker, am I lurking or am I skulking at January 05, 2018 12:27 PM (nBr1j)

Hopefully in full Ilsa, She-wolf of the SS costume.

Posted by: Insomniac - Meet the New Year, same as the old year at January 05, 2018 12:29 PM (NWiLs)

60 Beneath the Channel of the Apes

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at January 05, 2018 12:29 PM (IqV8l)

61 No Gorilla Channel?

Specists.

Posted by: Grod at January 05, 2018 12:29 PM (CiUg7)

62 Every gorilla was kung-fu fighting
Those mammals were fast as lightning.

Posted by: WhatWhatWhat? at January 05, 2018 12:29 PM (ul9CR)

63 More Trump: "My favorite gorilla initially was that heavy, ungroomed, unhinged one named Sloppy Steve."

Posted by: ShainS at January 05, 2018 12:29 PM (BiLU+)

64 I wonder if those gorillas piss on each other and if that's where Trump gets his ideas about what to do with Russian hookers when he's committing treason in the USSR and making fun of FatBoy in Korea. In fact, I'm sure Trump gets all his best ideas from the GC247 ("Gorilla Channel 24/7" for the uninitiated).

Posted by: kathysaysso at January 05, 2018 12:29 PM (vkS2Z)

65 54 Somebody needs to start a rumour that gays, lesbians and the media are being sent to camps in Alaska.
Sarah Pailin will be the commandant.
Posted by: Northernlurker, am I lurking or am I skulking at January 05, 2018 12:27 PM (nBr1j)

Will there be leather stompy boots?

Posted by: joncelli, because somebody had to at January 05, 2018 12:29 PM (RD7QR)

66 "You know, not too many actual gorillas subscribe to this channel."

"Well, at forty bucks a month, I'm not surprised."

Posted by: Parker at January 05, 2018 12:30 PM (ZfzDM)

67 They are still falling for it. Insty just retweeted some goof who works at Brookings and writes for the Atlantic.

They just want to believe it's real.

Posted by: JackStraw at January 05, 2018 12:30 PM (/tuJf)

68
Gorilla Channel >>>> ESPN

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at January 05, 2018 12:30 PM (5Ijcd)

69 Is that Andrea Dworkin's brother?

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at January 05, 2018 12:30 PM (IqV8l)

70 >>54 Somebody needs to start a rumour that gays, lesbians and the media are being sent to camps in Alaska. Sarah Pailin will be the commandant. Posted by: Northernlurker, am I lurking or am I skulking at January 05, 2018 12:27 PM (nBr1j)

Somebody needs to augment that rumor by noting that a live feed of those camps is shown in Young Master Barron's study, where he periodically stops playing Xbox to watch with grim interest...

Posted by: Zod at January 05, 2018 12:30 PM (Bdeb0)

71

CNN: Do you know WHO else watched a gorilla channel all day?!?!?!

Posted by: TheQuietMan at January 05, 2018 12:30 PM (493sH)

72 I would love to find out that Trump is the one behind the parody.

Troll Level: Galactic Overlord.

Posted by: Sharkman at January 05, 2018 12:30 PM (k2Hcx)

73 Beauty school dropout vs J-School graduate, compare and contrast.

Posted by: Joe, no that other one at January 05, 2018 12:30 PM (QFnhZ)

74 You can't get The Gorilla Channel in Peruvia.

Posted by: garrett at January 05, 2018 12:30 PM (iCu30)

75 For some people nothing is too outrageous to believe if it concerns their enemies.

Posted by: Lily(former Bronco Superfan) now of AoSHQ assassin in the night at January 05, 2018 12:31 PM (ZwLbU)

76 It's "Grodd", you confounded human communication apparatus!

Posted by: Grodd at January 05, 2018 12:31 PM (CiUg7)

77 ace, as you've noted many times, the "elites" aren't, and most of these people aren't very smart. It's a national crisis, actually. That's why I talk about dumbed-down America. Either through lack of native intelligence, or simply appalling ignorance, dominant misinformation, and a lazy un-American mindset, the country is at least half-populated by people who are, effectively, idiots.

Posted by: Farshimmelt AlteKocker, AKA rhomboid at January 05, 2018 12:31 PM (QDnY+)

78 Satire is dead, example #42,201...

Posted by: Lizzy at January 05, 2018 12:31 PM (W+vEI)

79 Twitter is how you publicly prove the dumbass you are.

Posted by: SFGoth at January 05, 2018 12:31 PM (dZ756)

80 Dworkin is not one of your better names.

Posted by: Northernlurker, am I lurking or am I skulking at January 05, 2018 12:31 PM (nBr1j)

81 Somebody needs to start a rumour that gays, lesbians and the media are being sent to camps in Alaska.
Sarah Pailin will be the commandant.
Posted by: Northernlurker, am I lurking or am I skulking at January 05, 2018 12:27 PM (nBr1j)

-----------

And she'll be wearing scanty leather outfits and her naughty librarian glasses.

Posted by: Soona at January 05, 2018 12:31 PM (ZijL5)

82 Right turn, Clyde

Posted by: jsg at January 05, 2018 12:32 PM (gs8be)

83

The white box truck is transmitting the gorilla channel!! That's why it's always where Trump is!!!

Posted by: TheQuietMan at January 05, 2018 12:32 PM (493sH)

84 And she'll be wearing scanty leather outfits and her naughty librarian glasses.
Posted by: Soona at January 05, 2018 12:31 PM (ZijL5)

Yes, go on...

Posted by: Parker at January 05, 2018 12:32 PM (ZfzDM)

85 Little Debbie snackcakes and leather stompy boots, hopefully.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - Bama's Boot Stomping on the Face of College Football Forever at January 05, 2018 12:32 PM (ks6bw)

86
but but but..... the ok sign means white power, right? that one was true right?

-- dumbasses in the media

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at January 05, 2018 12:32 PM (r+sAi)

87
Beauty school dropout vs J-School graduate, compare and contrast.

Posted by: Joe, no that other one

A beauty school dropout may have a use and can't do much harm.

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at January 05, 2018 12:32 PM (Gq+1C)

88 The problem with the Gorilla Channel is that it's basic cable so they have to edit out all the gorilla breasts and gorilla swears.

I'd pay the premium for HGO.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at January 05, 2018 12:32 PM (LjgWA)

89 Why isn't there a Gorilla Fight Channel?

Posted by: buzzion at January 05, 2018 12:33 PM (cAnNx)

90 Is J school the one where you have to fail an IQ test to gain entry?

Posted by: Northernlurker, am I lurking or am I skulking at January 05, 2018 12:33 PM (nBr1j)

91 That's what you get for cutting the cable.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at January 05, 2018 12:33 PM (IqV8l)

92 South of the border they have Baboonivision

Posted by: WhatWhatWhat? at January 05, 2018 12:33 PM (ul9CR)

93
Why'd he watch it for 17 hours, you ask?

'Cause "Gorilla Channel After Dark" is when the hot gorilla-on-gorilla action really takes off!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at January 05, 2018 12:33 PM (pNxlR)

94 I don't get it, I love the Gorilla Channel.

Posted by: Cannibal Bob at January 05, 2018 12:33 PM (4CCz5)

95 The first rule of Gorilla Fight Channel....

Posted by: Parker at January 05, 2018 12:34 PM (ZfzDM)

96 "...this Gorilla Channel is supported by simians like you. Thank you."

Posted by: Zod at January 05, 2018 12:34 PM (Bdeb0)

97 89 Why isn't there a Gorilla Fight Channel?

There is, but the first rule is, we can't talk about it.

Posted by: WhatWhatWhat? at January 05, 2018 12:34 PM (ul9CR)

98

Do they run the 50s sitcom Leave it to Gorilla?

Posted by: TheQuietMan at January 05, 2018 12:34 PM (493sH)

99 79
Twitter is how you publicly prove the dumbass you are.

Posted by: SFGoth at January 05, 2018 12:31 PM (dZ756)

---

If the 80s taught me anything, it was that sometimes the only way to win is to not play.

Posted by: Moron Robbie - Bama's Boot Stomping on the Face of College Football Forever at January 05, 2018 12:34 PM (ks6bw)

100 88 The problem with the Gorilla Channel is that it's basic cable so they have to edit out all the gorilla breasts and gorilla swears.

I'd pay the premium for HGO.
Posted by: Bandersnatch at January 05, 2018 12:32 PM (LjgWA)

Too many floppy gorilla weiners.

Posted by: Insomniac - Meet the New Year, same as the old year at January 05, 2018 12:34 PM (NWiLs)

101 Gorillamax

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at January 05, 2018 12:34 PM (IqV8l)

102 73 Beauty school dropout vs J-School graduate, compare and contrast.

Posted by: Joe, no that other one at January 05, 2018 12:30 PM (QFnhZ)

================

One has no choice but to reluctantly become a prostitute ... the other does so eagerly and willingly.

Posted by: ShainS at January 05, 2018 12:34 PM (BiLU+)

103 73 Beauty school dropout vs J-School graduate, compare and contrast.
Posted by: Joe, no that other one at January 05, 2018 12:30 PM (QFnhZ)

Beauty school dropout: probably looks good, might retain some useful knowledge.

J-School dropout: must be reminded to breathe. Net drain on society even when inactive, danger to himself and others when active.

Posted by: joncelli, because somebody had to at January 05, 2018 12:34 PM (RD7QR)

104 If gorillas played football I'd be in 100% watching that.

Posted by: Cannibal Bob at January 05, 2018 12:35 PM (4CCz5)

105 What a magilla

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at January 05, 2018 12:35 PM (IqV8l)

106 How much is that Gorilla Channel on Windows?

Posted by: Parker at January 05, 2018 12:35 PM (ZfzDM)

107

CNN: CNN has an unconfirmed report that Donald Trump will name Magilla Gorilla as the next Secretary of State!!!

Posted by: TheQuietMan at January 05, 2018 12:35 PM (493sH)

108 I love it when the show the classics like Gorilla My Dreams.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at January 05, 2018 12:35 PM (LjgWA)

109 . Now i want a gorilla channel

Posted by: RoyalOil at January 05, 2018 12:35 PM (aJrZM)

110 So...this guy scoff at "pizzagate," too?

Posted by: Lizzy at January 05, 2018 12:35 PM (W+vEI)

111
Hilarious, yes, but the problem is that truth / fiction isn't a concept
for them; we're going to be hearing this repeated as gospel years from
now, just like the "ok sign is white supremacist" nonsense.
Posted by: sock_rat_eez, they are gaslighting us 24/365 at January 05, 2018 12:23 PM (oVWx5)

And this bothers me. In South America and Southern Europe the "OK" sign is for telling people to screw off.

(obligatory "I guess there is a lot of cultural appropriation going here.")

Posted by: Kindltot at January 05, 2018 12:36 PM (2K6fY)

112 My dog ignores most of the animals on animal planet, but one morning went into full alert over water buffalos. Came all the way upstairs to get me and direct me to the kitchen TV. Had to turn the channel to get her to calm down. My reassurances that they were in Africa, half a world away didn't impress. Of course, it was during the Obama administration so maybe a dislike of Michelle was part of it.

Otherwise, she's only demanded I see to something when the cat was in trouble and when I fry and forget to turn on the exhaust (which will result in the smoke detector going off--she hates that--and knows what does it, apparently).

Gorillas don't rank.

Posted by: dagny at January 05, 2018 12:36 PM (eO5CB)

113 Chris Hayes loved the post too.

That said, the parody guy's Twitter feed is quality stuff.

Posted by: Chairman LMAO at January 05, 2018 12:36 PM (AeTiz)

114 Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American left.

Posted by: Ripley at January 05, 2018 12:37 PM (MxEKc)

115 Rambling about the gorilla channel while guzzling raw water is no way to go through life.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at January 05, 2018 12:37 PM (4ErVI)

116 The need a Gorilla The Bachelor and call it Gorilla My Dreams.

Posted by: Northernlurker, am I lurking or am I skulking at January 05, 2018 12:37 PM (nBr1j)

117 I'm not saying it's gorillas. But it's gorillas.

Posted by: Giorgio A. Tsoukalos at January 05, 2018 12:37 PM (QCX64)

118 Is this a scheme to make Gorilla pundit more popular?

Rush on abt Bannon now.

Posted by: dagny at January 05, 2018 12:37 PM (eO5CB)

119 ...but the Gorilla Warfare show is just endless repetitions about the Hitler's invasion of the Congo.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at January 05, 2018 12:37 PM (LjgWA)

120 I'd like to see the Infomercials on Late Night Broadcast on the Gorilla Channel.

The Ronco Leafless Stick

Posted by: garrett at January 05, 2018 12:37 PM (iCu30)

121 13 Monkey knife fights or GTFO
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Booking Agent, Aero Pinochet at January 05, 2018 12:15 PM (fA1SL)

Furious George FTW!

Posted by: josephistan at January 05, 2018 12:37 PM (7HtZB)

122 Ha...I stream GC for free. Suckers.

Posted by: eleven at January 05, 2018 12:37 PM (+lOpA)

123 On his first night in the White House, Vice President Joe Biden complained that the TV in his office was broken, because it didn't have "the hair channel". Biden seemed to be under the impression that such a channel existed that screened nothing but girl hair content 24 hours a day.

To appease Biden, WH staff compiled a number of shampoo ads into a makeshift hair channel and broadcast it into the VP's office. However, Biden was unhappy with the channel they had created, moaning that he still couldn't "smell the hair". Apparently Mr. Biden believed that a special "Scratch-N-Sniff" TV screen existed that permitted the viewer to sniff the hair on the screen.

"On some days he'll watch the hair channel for 17 hours straight," an insider told me. "He kneels in front of the TV, with his face about four inches from the screen, and keeps clawing at it, attempting to scratch forth a fragrance from the hair that we're telecasting."

Posted by: Hands at January 05, 2018 12:37 PM (EzdLW)

124 Why isn't there a Gorilla Fight Channel?

I wish that panserbjørne were real.

Posted by: Grump928(C) at January 05, 2018 12:38 PM (WbIyz)

125 Transmission tower?

Transmission tower? like what, he was using rabbit ears wrapped in tin foil to see if he could pick up the Baltimore channels?

Posted by: Gentlemen, this is democracy manifest at January 05, 2018 12:38 PM (LWu6U)

126 Can't beat an original

Posted by: Lancelot Link, Secret Chimp at January 05, 2018 12:38 PM (QLvwG)

127 Yea verily those that mocketh the Great Ape will suffer the wrath of the Scalp Weasel.

Posted by: Book of Comey, Drapery Ninja at January 05, 2018 12:38 PM (YtZB9)

128 not gonna lie, I would check this channel out

has to be better than 99% of the content out there now

Posted by: Retard Strength Trumps Smart Power at January 05, 2018 12:38 PM (RKQ/v)

129 They're stupid and they hate Trump because he shows they're stupid and rubs their nose in it every goddamn day.

But Trump doesn't use the same butt-sniffing social signaling they use to tell each other: "Hey, I'm an intelligent, socially-conscious, college-indoctrinated, NYT-reading liberal Democrat just like you!" Since that's the only standard they know of to measure "intelligence," it's simply impossible for them to believe he's smarter than they are.

Posted by: Socratease at January 05, 2018 12:38 PM (2GbWn)

130 119 ...but the Gorilla Warfare show is just endless repetitions about the Hitler's invasion of the Congo.
Posted by: Bandersnatch at January 05, 2018 12:37 PM (LjgWA)

Was Hitler Really An Alien Gorilla?

Posted by: Comin up at 9:00 on the Gorilla Channel at January 05, 2018 12:38 PM (RD7QR)

131 Remember, this is the same caliber of person paying $60 a gallon for untreated water.

Posted by: Brother Cavil, Abbot of St. Costello-on-the-Hurlingbone at January 05, 2018 12:38 PM (AM1GF)

132 Hitler's Secret Bonobo Jungle Army...

Tonight on The Gorilla History Channel

Posted by: garrett at January 05, 2018 12:38 PM (iCu30)

133 Do the gorillas pee on each other ?

asking for a friend

Posted by: Comey the commie at January 05, 2018 12:39 PM (P1GJy)

134
No doubt Tommy Ramparts is speed dialing Scotty like a crack-addled macaque as we dawdle here. The #resistance needs a few good men!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at January 05, 2018 12:39 PM (pNxlR)

135 Holy hell this is why I keep a twitter account: to read the idiocy out there. LMAO at some of the comments from people who believed it! Some chick went off on how scarey this was and a guy commented back: imagine how we feel knowing you can vote. LOL!

Posted by: keena at January 05, 2018 12:39 PM (RiTnx)

136 Just too damn good to check. Must get the happy likes, hearts, and sundry loves

Posted by: jsg at January 05, 2018 12:39 PM (gs8be)

137 I gotta tell ya' the more I think about a Gorilla Sports Channel the more I like it. It would totally rock.

Imagine them on skis even? Tennis? Coooome oooon. That would be so cool.

Posted by: Cannibal Bob at January 05, 2018 12:40 PM (4CCz5)

138 Gorilla Channel lost me when they went dark for a week to remember Harambe.

Posted by: Rob Crawford at January 05, 2018 12:40 PM (8jSfM)

139 Would the Gorilla Channel have the Planet of The Apes musical?

www.youtube.com/watch?v=JlmzUEQxOvA

Posted by: josephistan at January 05, 2018 12:40 PM (7HtZB)

140 133 Do the gorillas pee on each other ?

I saw one at a zoo crap in his hand and eat it.

Posted by: jsg at January 05, 2018 12:41 PM (gs8be)

141 Hitler's Occult Gorilla Commandos: Fact or Desperate Gamble for Ratings?

Posted by: Coming up at 10:00 on the Gorilla Channel at January 05, 2018 12:41 PM (RD7QR)

142 6 Anyone who's been to college knows you can splice in a TV channel pretty easily if you control the ~~actual equipment.~~ horizontal and you control the vertical.

fixt

Posted by: Anachronda at January 05, 2018 12:41 PM (sGtp+)

143 Gorilla Channel lost me when they went dark for a week to remember Harambe.

Aye...Harambe.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at January 05, 2018 12:41 PM (LjgWA)

144 Here's your diversity comedy showcase.

Posted by: Fritz at January 05, 2018 12:41 PM (2Mnv1)

145 No doubt Tommy Ramparts is speed dialing Scotty like a crack-addled macaque as we dawdle here. The #resistance needs a few good men!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at January 05, 2018 12:39 PM (pNxlR)

Tommy Ramparts. Good name for that wanker

Posted by: TheQuietMan at January 05, 2018 12:41 PM (493sH)

146 My dog ignores most of the animals on animal planet, but one morning went into full alert over water buffalos. Came all the way upstairs to get me and direct me to the kitchen TV. Had to turn the channel to get her to calm down. My reassurances that they were in Africa, half a world away didn't impress. Of course, it was during the Obama administration so maybe a dislike of Michelle was part of it.

Posted by: dagny at January 05, 2018 12:36 PM (eO5CB)

----------

Geez, dagny. You're dog must be really dumb if he didn't understand that.

Posted by: Soona at January 05, 2018 12:42 PM (ZijL5)

147 For what it's worth, the kernel of truth in this one is that Trump allegedly watched Van Damme's "Bloodsport" on VHS back in the day and fast-forwarded everything that wasn't a fight scene. Given the calibur of the acting, I can't blame him.

Posted by: Ian S. at January 05, 2018 12:42 PM (3J/LN)

148 I find this talk about gorillas offensive

Posted by: Michelle Obama at January 05, 2018 12:42 PM (FZYNt)

149 Coming to you LIVE from the Underwater Grotto on Skull Island...

Posted by: garrett at January 05, 2018 12:42 PM (iCu30)

150 verifiable asshole is putting it mildly

Posted by: concrete girl at January 05, 2018 12:43 PM (nBzBk)

151 ace your twatter has gone missing, far as I can tell

Posted by: Farshimmelt AlteKocker, AKA rhomboid at January 05, 2018 12:43 PM (QDnY+)

152 They should have written that they put in some Lancelot Link Secret Agent Chimp episodes that Trump really liked.

Posted by: Roc Ingersol at January 05, 2018 12:43 PM (pCPGh)

153 gorilla warfare

Posted by: Hands at January 05, 2018 12:43 PM (EzdLW)

154 I recommend "The Kavorka Channel"

Posted by: Sister Roberta at January 05, 2018 12:43 PM (m7LQK)

155 The Gorilla Cook Network is nothing but banana recipes. But Gorilla Gordon Ramsey is even more angry & screamy.

Posted by: josephistan at January 05, 2018 12:43 PM (7HtZB)

156 Well the "stories" in it are equally as stupid

Posted by: It's me donna at January 05, 2018 12:43 PM (O2RFr)

157 Gorilla Channel - I WANT IT!!!

Hell it would have twice the intellectual content of CNN and MSNBC combined.

Posted by: Tom Servo at January 05, 2018 12:44 PM (k1TUh)

158 How many times can you watch 2 apes fall in love at Christmas on Gorilla Hallmark?

Posted by: josephistan at January 05, 2018 12:44 PM (7HtZB)

159 112. that's amazing dagny. I remember my kitty sitting in front of the TV. Suddenly her head swiveled to face me and there was terror in her eyes. The news report was on coyotes in the West eating house pets.

Posted by: kallisto at January 05, 2018 12:45 PM (YtZB9)

160 From the morning thread:

"While many of us are clinging to the Steiner-will-come belief that
indictments will be handed down and that Sessions is just playing
11-dimenson possum, I think the writing is on the wall; he's got to go
and now. Even if Mueller were to resign and admit defeat, he cannot stay
as Attorney General. There will be crucial policy decisions in the next
three to seven years that demand someone in this position who has the
political will and savvy to back up the administration, the rule of law
and the American people to the hilt."

Kudos on the 11-dimensional possum. And if Sessions were to be replaced, I am a fan of Nunes' work and apparent loyalty to draining the swamp.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at January 05, 2018 12:45 PM (Dp6qK)

161 Gorilla pundit was unavailable for comment

Posted by: It's me donna at January 05, 2018 12:45 PM (O2RFr)

162 Er, now that you mention it... a 24/7 gorilla channel would be better than 90% of the stuff on TV. Also, somewhere around "thought his TV was broken" is when I realized it was a joke.

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at January 05, 2018 12:45 PM (F5+ro)

163 Monkey knife fights or GTFO
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine

Chimp with AK

http://bit.ly/2CVUB6j

Posted by: rickb223 at January 05, 2018 12:45 PM (0R8lo)

164 Who would fall for such claptrap ?

Posted by: Fusion GPS at January 05, 2018 12:45 PM (gs8be)

165 George Allen's political career ended when he called a gorilla a macaque.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at January 05, 2018 12:45 PM (LjgWA)

166 I just typed "gorilla" as my password thanks to this story.

Posted by: josephistan at January 05, 2018 12:45 PM (7HtZB)

167
If Trump wants to watch a nasty gorilla fight he should tune into ASHQ when GP tries to resume his full time position.

Posted by: Deplorable Male Logic at January 05, 2018 12:46 PM (lKyWE)

168 Gorilla tennis. they beat the crap out of each other with rackets at the net. its awesome!

Posted by: Cannibal Bob at January 05, 2018 12:46 PM (4CCz5)

169 I'll get you yet, Lancelot Link!

Posted by: Baron Von Butcher, Chief of C.H.U.M.P. at January 05, 2018 12:46 PM (QLvwG)

170 Gorilla stole my bike.

Posted by: Punch Out at January 05, 2018 12:46 PM (CiUg7)

171 Geez, dagny. You're dog must be really dumb if he didn't understand that.
Posted by: Soona at January 05, 2018 12:42 PM (ZijL5)

My German Shepard recently decided that my mouse cursor was the most interesting thing on the planet. He'd follow it on the screen when I'm sitting at my desktop at home. Had to physically restrain him from attempting to launch threw my monitor at one point.

Posted by: joe, living dangerously at January 05, 2018 12:46 PM (KUaJL)

172 164 Who would fall for such claptrap ?
Posted by: Fusion GPS

we stand by our ice cream report

Posted by: CNN at January 05, 2018 12:46 PM (FZYNt)

173 through not threw

Posted by: joe, living dangerously at January 05, 2018 12:47 PM (KUaJL)

174 Don't even get me started on Gorilla Golf.

Posted by: Cannibal Bob at January 05, 2018 12:47 PM (4CCz5)

175
we stand by our ice cream report

White Vangate!

Posted by: CNN at January 05, 2018 12:47 PM (O2RFr)

176 Attention, attention, there are monkey-boys in the complex...

Posted by: Brother Cavil, Abbot of St. Costello-on-the-Hurlingbone at January 05, 2018 12:47 PM (AM1GF)

177 I saw one at a zoo crap in his hand and eat it.
[koko signs: So what? It was still fresh.]

Posted by: koko the gorilla hand-signing at January 05, 2018 12:48 PM (QCX64)

178 The problem with this is that a lie goes halfway around the universe before the truth even has a chance to put its pants on. So now several million people believe a parody and will always believe this actually happened with Trump to their last breath.

Posted by: Froderick Wonkensteen at January 05, 2018 12:48 PM (+dsLj)

179 174 Don't even get me started on Gorilla Golf.
Posted by: Cannibal Bob

your not going to like what we have in mind...

Posted by: Porn Hub at January 05, 2018 12:48 PM (FZYNt)

180 All Lance Link channel would be awesome.

Posted by: freaked at January 05, 2018 12:48 PM (WP6j0)

181 2
I shit you not, I saw a response to the Gorilla Quote that was "You can't make this stuff up!"

Posted by: Semper Why at January 05, 2018 12:11 PM (wrzX1)

You can't make that up.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at January 05, 2018 12:48 PM (Dp6qK)

182 the gorilla 500. live, from indianapolis.

Posted by: chavez the hugo at January 05, 2018 12:48 PM (KP5rU)

183 The Pyramids: The Lesbian Gorilla Alien Connection

Posted by: Coming up at 12:00 on the Gorilla Channel at January 05, 2018 12:49 PM (RD7QR)

184 When my cat was a kitten and I used to pay for cable, I had that crab show, deadliest catch on, and my cat launched himself at the screen when they did a close up of a crab. It was odd.

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at January 05, 2018 12:49 PM (F5+ro)

185
Get your Tommy Ramparts Action Figure -- now with Gorilla Channel Remote Control and #resistance Speed-Dialing Smart Phone!

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at January 05, 2018 12:49 PM (pNxlR)

186 So Trump didnt want to win but "colluded" with Russia to win. That about right?

Posted by: Mega at January 05, 2018 12:49 PM (00V4d)

187 Who would fall for such claptrap ?
Posted by: Fusion GPS at January 05, 2018 12:45 PM (gs8be)

*slowly raises hand*

Posted by: Bill Krystal at January 05, 2018 12:49 PM (ZijL5)

188 178 The problem with this is that a lie goes halfway around the universe before the truth even has a chance to put its pants on. So now several million people believe a parody and will always believe this actually happened with Trump to their last breath.
Posted by: Froderick Wonkensteen at January 05, 2018 12:48 PM (+dsLj)

Just like Sarah Palin can see Russia from her house!

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at January 05, 2018 12:49 PM (F5+ro)

189 Don't even get me started on Gorilla Golf.
Posted by: Cannibal Bob

your not going to like what we have in mind...
Posted by: Porn Hub

Bonobo Hot Tub #6

Posted by: rickb223 at January 05, 2018 12:49 PM (0R8lo)

190 your not going to like what we have in mind...

Posted by: Porn Hub at January 05, 2018 12:48 PM (FZYNt)

Lol. i needed this thread.

Posted by: Cannibal Bob at January 05, 2018 12:49 PM (4CCz5)

191 184 When my cat was a kitten and I used to pay for cable, I had that crab show, deadliest catch on, and my cat launched himself at the screen when they did a close up of a crab. It was odd.
Posted by: Harry Paratestes

yeah my pussy hates crabs too

Posted by: Lena Dunham at January 05, 2018 12:50 PM (FZYNt)

192 well, this explains a lot about progressives.

Posted by: Dean Wormer at January 05, 2018 12:50 PM (fftfA)

193 ace your twatter has gone missing, far as I can tell
Still there for me. It must be your p.c.

Posted by: andycanuck at January 05, 2018 12:50 PM (QCX64)

194 >>So Trump didnt want to win but "colluded" with Russia to win. That about right?

And is a total moron who managed to beat "the most qualified candidate evah(tm)".

Posted by: Lizzy at January 05, 2018 12:50 PM (W+vEI)

195 I recently met a woman who has Sons in College, one of who was thinking of joining the military...

She said she told him 'not while Trump is President, he will start wars and get you killed'...

I was floored.... I asked her if Trump had started any Wars? and she thought...

Then I asked how many Wars OBAMA had started... how many combat ops he had gotten us into... and she had no idea...

But she gets her 'learnin' from the MSM....

Posted by: Don Q. at January 05, 2018 12:51 PM (NgKpN)

196 Shadey Hamid? With a name like that shouldn't he be on a watch list or something?

Posted by: wth at January 05, 2018 12:51 PM (HgMAr)

197 I've got a feeling the Wolff book is going to provide us rich supply of absurd anecdotes and memes to last the entire year.

Posted by: Hands at January 05, 2018 12:51 PM (EzdLW)

198 I wonder if it's legal to drive a white box truck while wearing a gorilla mask.

Posted by: Fritz at January 05, 2018 12:51 PM (2Mnv1)

199 I like the gorilla channel since they dropped all the Sonobi commercials.

Posted by: unsure if deplorable, moron at January 05, 2018 12:51 PM (9MlEz)

200 Ok now I cant stop laughing. Geees.

Posted by: Cannibal Bob at January 05, 2018 12:51 PM (4CCz5)

201 >>>151 ace your twatter has gone missing, far as I can tell

Nope, I just updated my profile to note my new job:

https://twitter.com/AceofSpadesHQ

Posted by: ace at January 05, 2018 12:51 PM (8rNrN)

202 178 The problem with this is that a lie goes halfway around the universe before the truth even has a chance to put its pants on. So now several million people believe a parody and will always believe this actually happened with Trump to their last breath.
Posted by: Froderick Wonkensteen at January 05, 2018 12:48 PM (+dsLj)

The half of the universe that believed this already hates Trump never would have voted for him anyway.

Posted by: joe, living dangerously at January 05, 2018 12:51 PM (KUaJL)

203
I had that crab show, deadliest catch on,

And here I was expecting "... crab show, 'Vintage Recipe Cooking From Pow-Wow Chow', hosted by Fauxcahontas"

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at January 05, 2018 12:51 PM (pNxlR)

204 What if in Planet of the Apes, we are really the gorillas and they are us ?

Posted by: Dude who says Whooooaaaaa at January 05, 2018 12:51 PM (T0yXe)

205 186 So Trump didnt want to win but "colluded" with Russia to win. That about right?
Posted by: Mega at January 05, 2018 12:49 PM (00V4d)

Right, Trump wanted to lose so he sent a Drunk Greek Emissary to talk to a chick with a Russian name to ask her if she knew if Vlad knew any phishers who could try to trick Podesta & the DNC in to turning over their emails to wikileaks so that Trump would lose, but then he won.

Posted by: Harry Paratestes at January 05, 2018 12:51 PM (F5+ro)

206 197 I've got a feeling the Wolff book is going to provide us rich supply of absurd anecdotes and memes to last the entire year.
Posted by: Hands at January 05, 2018 12:51 PM (EzdLW)

It'll be a bit like giving an AK to a chimp, I'm afraid.

Posted by: joncelli, because somebody had to at January 05, 2018 12:52 PM (RD7QR)

207 How many times can you watch 2 apes fall in love at Christmas on Gorilla Hallmark?
But one owns a small chocolatier business in this one!

Posted by: andycanuck at January 05, 2018 12:52 PM (QCX64)

208 Trump reads the HQ's Gorilla Pundit!!! Posted by: andycanuck at January 05, 2018 12:14 PM (QCX64)
=====

That was my first thought, as well. Or at least a funny writer.

Posted by: mustbequantum at January 05, 2018 12:52 PM (MIKMs)

209 Dim Dems would believe anything about Trump. This might be a fun exercise in creative writing-Make up completely outrageous stories claiming they came from Wolff's book and.mock away.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at January 05, 2018 12:53 PM (8+Ozj)

210 Everyone forgets about me, the first hominid in space. Eat my dust, Alan Shepard!

Posted by: Ham, U.S. Space Chimp at January 05, 2018 12:53 PM (QLvwG)

211
Other classics on the GC:
I dream of Gorillas
Mutiny on the Gorilla
Mist in the Gorillas
The Gorilla Bunch
A Gorilla in Paris

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at January 05, 2018 12:53 PM (r+sAi)

212 Hysterical. The left is stupider and more totally gullible than I thought.

Posted by: LASue at January 05, 2018 12:53 PM (hZ+us)

213 I had that crab show, deadliest catch on,

And here I was expecting "... crab show, 'Vintage Recipe Cooking From Pow-Wow Chow', hosted by Fauxcahontas"

I thought he meant the Sanjay Gupta thing about gorilla genital lice.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at January 05, 2018 12:53 PM (LjgWA)

214 Dwork.

Posted by: jd at January 05, 2018 12:53 PM (c2pxW)

215 His name was Harambe.

Posted by: Grump928(C) at January 05, 2018 12:53 PM (WbIyz)

216 Dworkin now says, of course, that he *knew* it was a joke.

Then virtue-signaled that it was "sad" how believable it was.

Posted by: WhatWhatWhat? at January 05, 2018 12:54 PM (ul9CR)

217 I bet Bizarro-Trump would have loved those Trunk Monkey commercials!

Posted by: Chairman LMAO at January 05, 2018 12:54 PM (AeTiz)

218 The Gorilla Cook Network is nothing but banana recipes. But Gorilla Gordon Ramsey is even more angry & screamy.

Posted by: josephistan at January 05, 2018 12:43 PM (7HtZB)
..........

The Gorilla Shopping Network is fairly limited also.

Posted by: wth at January 05, 2018 12:54 PM (HgMAr)

219 Trump Derangement Syndrome in action again.

Posted by: exdem13 at January 05, 2018 12:54 PM (W+kMI)

220 Does GorillaPundit have a show on this Gorilla Channel? If so, I may have to watch...

Posted by: MacGruber at January 05, 2018 12:54 PM (C278+)

221 In before THE FACT THAT WE FELL FOR THIS SAYS MORE ABOUT TRUMP THAN US

Posted by: Mega at January 05, 2018 12:54 PM (00V4d)

222 The problem with this is that a lie goes halfway around the universe before the truth even has a chance to put its pants on. So now several million people believe a parody and will always believe this actually happened with Trump to their last breath.
Posted by: Froderick Wonkensteen at January 05, 2018 12:48 PM (+dsLj)

I think this helps us.

Posted by: LASue at January 05, 2018 12:55 PM (hZ+us)

223 If a PDT supporter wrote this, it would be masterful. The tactic of ridiculing your adversaries for believing nonsense, and also degrading the book and casting more doubt on whatever is in it.

So it is not only funny, but really smart counter-propaganda.

But I think the left is so far gone, that a lefty could have written it thinking it was a mild taunt and not too unrealistic.

Posted by: Gentlemen, this is democracy manifest at January 05, 2018 12:55 PM (LWu6U)

224 I sometimes wonder if Chimps and Monkeys would be impressed with human trapeze artists.

-- Neil deGrasse Tyson

Posted by: Lizzy at January 05, 2018 12:55 PM (W+vEI)

225 Someone thinks Peruvia is a nation?

Posted by: kallisto at January 05, 2018 12:55 PM (YtZB9)

226 163. Yeeessss!

Now, we need to teach them to ride dogs. Chimp cavalry!

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Booking Agent, Aero Pinochet at January 05, 2018 12:55 PM (fA1SL)

227 If lefties weren't gullible they wouldn't be lefties.

Posted by: Mega at January 05, 2018 12:55 PM (00V4d)

228 Gorilla Jazz : By Ken Burns

Posted by: garrett at January 05, 2018 12:55 PM (iCu30)

229 203
I had that crab show, deadliest catch on,

And here I was expecting "... crab show, 'Vintage Recipe Cooking From Pow-Wow Chow', hosted by Fauxcahontas"
Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at January 05, 2018 12:51 PM (pNxlR)

I was expecting "On safari with Sandra Fluke"

Posted by: josephistan at January 05, 2018 12:56 PM (7HtZB)

230 Should we all contact our cable providers and ask why we don't get the Gorilla Channel?

Posted by: Formerly known as Skeptic at January 05, 2018 12:56 PM (91XRk)

231 How many gorillas does it take to make a bottle of Gorilla Glue?

Posted by: Count de Monet at January 05, 2018 12:56 PM (QLvwG)

232 I think Donnie 2 Scoops has them right where he wants them: bugfuck crazy.

Posted by: Taqyia2Me at January 05, 2018 12:56 PM (Ftuf+)

233 Gorilla My Dreams

Posted by: andycanuck at January 05, 2018 12:56 PM (QCX64)

234 No Gorilla Channel!!!!

Gorillas are people too!

Wheres my fucking service dog!!!

*shows tits*

Posted by: PETA Chick at January 05, 2018 12:56 PM (4CCz5)

235 Other classics on the GC:
I dream of Gorillas
Mutiny on the Gorilla
Mist in the Gorillas
The Gorilla Bunch
A Gorilla in Paris
Posted by: Guy Mohawk

The Andy Gorilla Show from Gorilla RFD.
Gorilla Haw
Marcus Welby, Gorilla
Highway Gorilla
Rowan & Gorilla Laugh In

Posted by: rickb223 at January 05, 2018 12:56 PM (0R8lo)

236 flounder on last night's ONT I noted Herridge/Fox had quoted a former DOJ official who said the - to all outward appearances - bizarre and incomprehensible stone-walling and evasion of DOJ/FBI in their dealings with House intel was attributable to the fact that these agencies were not accustomed to scrutiny.

OK, now that that has sunk in, don't overlook how DOJ ran to mommy (Ryan) on Wednesday to tell her daddy (Nunes) was being mean, and for protection. On the deadline day. When some of this material has been sought since *August*. There is no detectable difference between how this is being handled by the current DOJ, and how Obama's DOJ would have behaved.

Rosenstein's judgement is already sufficiently understood by his appointment of Mueller, clearly outside the lines of the relevant regulation (no crime suspected or ID'd), with the laughable rationale of "public interest". Sessions may or may not be the clunker he often appears to be, but Rosenstein's the real thing.

Whether or not we see indictments of the guilty, Rosenstein has to go.

Posted by: Farshimmelt AlteKocker, AKA rhomboid at January 05, 2018 12:57 PM (QDnY+)

237 The hurdle for credibility is very low with the Left if the story is damaging to Trump.

There is almost nothing they will not believe as long as it is damaging to Trump.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at January 05, 2018 12:57 PM (oVJmc)

238 In school, rarely do we learn skepticism, and how political winds can influence it, morphing skepticism into obstinance.

-- Neil deGrasse Tyson

Posted by: Lizzy at January 05, 2018 12:57 PM (W+vEI)

239
How many times can you watch 2 apes fall in love at Christmas on Gorilla Hallmark?

Evidently alot

Posted by: Mr. Beeks at January 05, 2018 12:57 PM (lKyWE)

240 I bet there are some people out there who now think Trump is in league with Gorilla Grodd. Yeah, yeah, Trump got elected in collusion with a telepathic super-genius gorilla who stages fights for him.

Posted by: exdem13 at January 05, 2018 12:57 PM (W+kMI)

241 WATCHING TV WITH GORILLAS IS FUNNY BECAUSE THEY ARE STUPID AND THEY DON"T UNDERSTAND THE CONCEPT OF REMOTE CONTROLS.

Posted by: BEN ROETHLESBERGER at January 05, 2018 12:57 PM (iCu30)

242
Posted by: Guy Mohawk at January 05, 2018 12:53 PM (r+sAi)

My Mother, the Gorilla
The Mary Tyler Gorilla Show
All in the Troop

Posted by: Hadrian the Seventh at January 05, 2018 12:57 PM (q9yHg)

243 I heard Trump likes that movie where gorillas fly out or a tornado or something....

Posted by: Lex at January 05, 2018 12:58 PM (jQn9t)

244 Gojira!!

No, it's Gorilla!

Gojira!!

Posted by: Count de Monet at January 05, 2018 12:58 PM (QLvwG)

245
programming about gorillas relaxing in soda-filled hot tubs -- "Gorillas in the Sierra Mist"

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at January 05, 2018 12:58 PM (pNxlR)

246 " It's a national crisis, actually. That's why I talk about dumbed-down America. Either through lack of native intelligence, or simply appalling ignorance, dominant misinformation, and a lazy un-American mindset, the country is at least half-populated by people who are, effectively, idiots. "

True, but really much more dangerous.

Posted by: sock_rat_eez, they are gaslighting us 24/365 at January 05, 2018 12:58 PM (oVWx5)

247 216: Dworkin now says, of course, that he *knew* it was a joke.

Posted by: WhatWhatWhat? at January 05, 2018 12:54 PM (ul9CR)

Mmm hmmm. Suuuure he did. Bless his heart.

Posted by: LASue at January 05, 2018 12:58 PM (hZ+us)

248 Laffa whila you can, monkey-boy!

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Booking Agent, Aero Pinochet at January 05, 2018 12:58 PM (fA1SL)

249 48 Seems to me that if there isn't a Gorilla Channel there ought to be one

Posted by: joncelli, because somebody had to at January 05, 2018 12:26 PM (RD7QR)

Sign up for an NFL package. Problem solved.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at January 05, 2018 12:58 PM (9x8cY)

250 186
So Trump didnt want to win but "colluded" with Russia to win. That about right?

Posted by: Mega at January 05, 2018 12:49 PM (00V4d)

That's the sum of the left's lunacy.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at January 05, 2018 12:59 PM (Dp6qK)

251 Gorilla My Dreams
Posted by: andycanuck

Doogie Gorilla, MD
I Dream of Gorilla
All in the Gorilla
Gorillas' Island

Posted by: rickb223 at January 05, 2018 12:59 PM (0R8lo)

252 209 Dim Dems would believe anything about Trump. This might be a fun exercise in creative writing-Make up completely outrageous stories claiming they came from Wolff's book and.mock away.
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at January 05, 2018 12:53 PM (8+Ozj)

Trump hired Russian hookers to pee on a bed! Nah, no one would believe that.

Posted by: josephistan at January 05, 2018 12:59 PM (7HtZB)

253 Lesbian
Gorilla
Bi
Tranny

Posted by: jsg at January 05, 2018 12:59 PM (T0yXe)

254 225 Someone thinks Peruvia is a nation?

Posted by: kallisto at January 05, 2018 12:55 PM (YtZB9)

The weathers great this time of year!

Posted by: Peruvia Chamber of Commerce at January 05, 2018 12:59 PM (4CCz5)

255 With our opposition so terminally fucking stupid how come the election was so close? Voter fraud?

Posted by: torabora at January 05, 2018 01:00 PM (1VDgB)

256 "I like those Bonobo ones, they're so cooperative and friendly! But the butt rubbing stuff - not sanitary!"

-- Trump

Posted by: Lizzy at January 05, 2018 01:00 PM (W+vEI)

257 Trunk monkey!

Posted by: Insomniac - Meet the New Year, same as the old year at January 05, 2018 01:00 PM (NWiLs)

258 Bush 41 did not know what an electronic check out scanner was either according to the Left . They still think that.

Posted by: Roc Ingersol at January 05, 2018 01:00 PM (pCPGh)

259 235
90 Day Gorilla Fiance

Posted by: wth at January 05, 2018 01:00 PM (HgMAr)

260 F'n Trump only has all that money because he F'n believes in capitalism and works for it.. ha ha what a fool...

Posted by: Scott Dwildo at January 05, 2018 01:00 PM (U5Xeq)

261 Dworkin's Twitter timeline is fun. So, he's a male (well...) Louise Mensch?

It's all Russia Russia Russia and Trump and his people going to jail for life, especially Paul Ryan who he really, really hates.

Posted by: WhatWhatWhat? at January 05, 2018 01:00 PM (ul9CR)

262 Gorilla With The Wind
Forest Hump

Posted by: andycanuck at January 05, 2018 01:00 PM (QCX64)

263 I miss the 60s with all those Go-Go-Rillas in their short skirts and high boots.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at January 05, 2018 01:00 PM (LjgWA)

264 They're still shooting each others' dogs and nine-year-old daughters in the downstairs thread.

Posted by: Insomniac - Meet the New Year, same as the old year at January 05, 2018 01:01 PM (NWiLs)

265 Remember, every popular Republican is a combination of stupid, out of touch, evil or crazy. Trump fits none of these comfortably, but the Lefty Playbook says to just take whatever one(s) they can run with.

Posted by: Mega at January 05, 2018 01:01 PM (00V4d)

266 >>With our opposition so terminally fucking stupid how come the election was so close? Voter fraud?

It's a lot easier to organize stupid people than smart people.

Posted by: JackStraw at January 05, 2018 01:01 PM (/tuJf)

267 Other classics on the GC:

I dream of Gorillas

Mutiny on the Gorilla

Mist in the Gorillas

The Gorilla Bunch

A Gorilla in Paris

Posted by: Guy Mohawk

The Andy Gorilla Show from Gorilla RFD.

Gorilla Haw

Marcus Welby, Gorilla

Highway Gorilla

Rowan Gorilla Laugh In

Posted by: rickb223 at January 05, 2018 12:56 PM (0R8lo)

C.H.I.M.P.S. Officers Ponch and Baker patrol the highways of southern California on their KZ1000 motorcycles.

Posted by: Count de Monet at January 05, 2018 01:01 PM (QLvwG)

268 How many gorillas does it take to make a bottle of Gorilla Glue?
Posted by: Count de Monet at January 05, 2018 12:56 PM

I'm guessing only one, I mean gorillas are pretty fucking big. I saw it on GTV.

Posted by: Minnfidel at January 05, 2018 01:01 PM (tPrp3)

269 We are screwed if these people ever get back in power.

It will be back to inmates running the asylum.

Posted by: Marcus T at January 05, 2018 01:01 PM (VpIIl)

270 Silverback Mountain

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Booking Agent, Aero Pinochet at January 05, 2018 01:01 PM (fA1SL)

271 Posted by: Insomniac - Meet the New Year, same as the old year at January 05, 2018 01:01 PM (NWiLs)

That's why I'm here and not there.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at January 05, 2018 01:02 PM (8+Ozj)

272 Mr. President,

Wanna buy a gorilla?

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at January 05, 2018 01:02 PM (oVJmc)

273 With our opposition so terminally fucking stupid how come the election was so close? Voter fraud?
Posted by: torabora at January 05, 2018 01:00 PM (1VDgB)

What makes you think that at least 50% of the voters arent that stupid?

Posted by: Roc Ingersol at January 05, 2018 01:02 PM (pCPGh)

274 264 They're still shooting each others' dogs and nine-year-old daughters in the downstairs thread.

Posted by: Insomniac - Meet the New Year, same as the old year at January 05, 2018 01:01 PM (NWiLs)

Gorilla Jungle Cops!

Posted by: Cannibal Bob at January 05, 2018 01:02 PM (4CCz5)

275 I heard some of Dana Loesch yesterday and it sounded like she was letting some of her Trump hate seep through again. Because on this dumb book she was talking about someone denying the quotes and she said something like "they better be careful because Wolff said he has recorded conversations." But hasn't he gone and said there is untrue stuff in this book?

Posted by: buzzion at January 05, 2018 01:02 PM (cAnNx)

276 That Gorilla

Posted by: wth at January 05, 2018 01:02 PM (HgMAr)

277 239
How many times can you watch 2 apes fall in love at Christmas on Gorilla Hallmark?

Evidently alot
Posted by: Mr. Beeks at January 05, 2018 12:57 PM (lKyWE)

Golf clap

Posted by: josephistan at January 05, 2018 01:03 PM (7HtZB)

278 Posted by: Mega at January 05, 2018 01:01 PM (00V4d)

True..or they want to establish a theocracy.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at January 05, 2018 01:03 PM (8+Ozj)

279 "...Speed's younger brother Spritle and his pet human, Chim-Chim."

Posted by: Zod at January 05, 2018 01:03 PM (Bdeb0)

280 264. Hey - let each serve Tengri as seems best to him.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Booking Agent, Aero Pinochet at January 05, 2018 01:03 PM (fA1SL)

281 270 Silverback Mountain

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Booking Agent, Aero Pinochet at January 05, 2018 01:01 PM (fA1SL)

Thats good.

Posted by: Cannibal Bob at January 05, 2018 01:03 PM (4CCz5)

282 264 They're still shooting each others' dogs and nine-year-old daughters in the downstairs thread.
Posted by: Insomniac - Meet the New Year, same as the old year at January 05, 2018 01:01 PM (NWiLs)

Cop threads and weed threads are essentially religious debates, unfortunately.

Posted by: joncelli, because somebody had to at January 05, 2018 01:03 PM (RD7QR)

283 186 So Trump didnt want to win but "colluded" with Russia to win. That about right?
Posted by: Mega at January 05, 2018 12:49 PM (00V4d)

The left is using A/B testing to attack PDT. They write up dozens, or hundreds of story lines and just pepper the social media with them all looking to see which ones catch on. They are often contradictory since the assumption with A/B is that the designers just can't know what will work, so you test everything.

I swear, they must have boiler rooms full of writers pumping out stuff. Like Redford in 3 days of the condor, just thinking up stuff. That is how we got to the point where people believe this.

Media is no longer reporting, and they have even gone beyond partisanship. They are now fiction writers looking for something so shocking that people retweet it. like a marriage between shock jocks, and james carville. with a/b testing.

Posted by: Gentlemen, this is democracy manifest at January 05, 2018 01:03 PM (LWu6U)

284 They're still shooting each others' dogs and nine-year-old daughters in the downstairs thread.

They know better than to shoot the silverbacks. One miss is all you get.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at January 05, 2018 01:04 PM (LjgWA)

285 I'll take the Gorilla Channel every day of the week.
Make it so!

Posted by: washrivergal at January 05, 2018 01:04 PM (tcwn1)

286 *fap fap fap fap fap fap fap*

Posted by: Dian Fossey at January 05, 2018 01:04 PM (NWiLs)

287 >>True..or they want to establish a theocracy.
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at January 05, 2018 01:03 PM (8+Ozj)

You will send your newsletter to Zod.

Posted by: Zod at January 05, 2018 01:04 PM (Bdeb0)

288 That's why I'm here and not there.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at January 05, 2018 01:02 PM (8+Ozj)

Monkeying around with us.

Posted by: Cannibal Bob at January 05, 2018 01:04 PM (4CCz5)

289 Well, roughly half the population is of below average intelligence.

Posted by: Formerly known as Skeptic at January 05, 2018 01:04 PM (91XRk)

290 Whether or not we see indictments of the guilty, Rosenstein has to go.

Posted by: Farshimmelt AlteKocker, AKA rhomboid at January 05, 2018 12:57 PM (QDnY+)

I still reserve judgment on Sessions, but I agree that if heads roll, Rosenstein will be caught up in it. In retrospect, his "recommendation/opinion" to fire Comey seems part of the plan to install Mueller to cover up all the misdeeds and perpetuate the muh Russia witch hunt.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at January 05, 2018 01:04 PM (Dp6qK)

291 Silverback City

Posted by: andycanuck at January 05, 2018 01:04 PM (QCX64)

292 The plot of "BJ & The Bear" would remain largely the same.

Posted by: josephistan at January 05, 2018 01:05 PM (7HtZB)

293 Posted by: Cannibal Bob at January 05, 2018 01:04 PM (4CCz5)

Well done.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at January 05, 2018 01:05 PM (8+Ozj)

294 The Miss Jungleverse Contest

Posted by: WhatWhatWhat? at January 05, 2018 01:05 PM (ul9CR)

295 >>What makes you think that at least 50% of the voters arent that stupid?

We have verifiable proof they are. They elected Obama, twice.

Posted by: JackStraw at January 05, 2018 01:05 PM (/tuJf)

296 Dworkin now says, of course, that he *knew* it was a joke.
-----------

Ahh yes the Puppetmaster Gambit. He alone lined up the pieces and the Gorilla Joke Guy is just a pawn in his clever game.

Posted by: Mega at January 05, 2018 01:05 PM (00V4d)

297 They know better than to shoot the silverbacks. One miss is all you get.
Posted by: Bandersnatch at January 05, 2018 01:04 PM (LjgWA)

Pretty much. Like shooting at a charging elephant. One of you is going to die.

Posted by: Insomniac - Meet the New Year, same as the old year at January 05, 2018 01:05 PM (NWiLs)

298 If the satire had been moderately more subtle, most of the MSM would have fallen for it, CNN would be covering it as a news leader, and Sara Huckabee would get a dozen questions on whether she could prove it was not true.

Posted by: illiniwek at January 05, 2018 01:05 PM (otAqJ)

299 231 How many gorillas does it take to make a bottle of Gorilla Glue?
Posted by: Count de Monet at January 05, 2018 12:56 PM (QLvwG)

Bond. Gorilla Bond in Goldfinger

Posted by: jsg at January 05, 2018 01:05 PM (T0yXe)

300 Thinking of Lancelot Link though does make me smile and forget how screwed up we are if only for a second.

Posted by: Roc Ingersol at January 05, 2018 01:06 PM (pCPGh)

301 Other classics on the GC:
I dream of Gorillas
Mutiny on the Gorilla
Mist in the Gorillas
The Gorilla Bunch
A Gorilla in Paris
Posted by: Guy Mohawk

The Andy Gorilla Show from Gorilla RFD.
Gorilla Haw
Marcus Welby, Gorilla
Highway Gorilla
Rowan & Gorilla Laugh In

Posted by: rickb223 at January 05, 2018 12:56 PM (0R8lo)

The Man From G.O.R.I.L.L.A.
It Takes a Gorilla
The Courtship of Eddie's Gorilla

Posted by: TheQuietMan at January 05, 2018 01:06 PM (493sH)

302 Pfft MY Preezy with the real GORILLA CHANNEL

Under water grottos, caverns
Filled with apes
That eat figs.
Stepping on the figs
That the apes
Eat, they crunch.
The apes howl, bare
Their fangs, dance,
Tumble in the
Rushing water,
Musty, wet pelts
Glistening in the blue

Posted by: Scott Dwildo at January 05, 2018 01:06 PM (U5Xeq)

303 MAGA - Make America Gorilla Again

Posted by: josephistan at January 05, 2018 01:06 PM (7HtZB)

304 The MSM has become Charlie Brown and Trump is Lucy with the football

Posted by: Anna Puma (HQCaR) at January 05, 2018 01:06 PM (yCOH/)

305 Chimps are vicious. They'll grab a baby from its mom and eat it alive. The lucky baby chimps are the ones who only get raped.

Posted by: kallisto at January 05, 2018 01:06 PM (YtZB9)

306 "I'll take Banana Recipes for 100 Bob."

Posted by: Cannibal Bob at January 05, 2018 01:06 PM (4CCz5)

307 Secret Trump channel provider bullies anti-Trumper.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vI3JxqPNYBQ

Posted by: exdem13 at January 05, 2018 01:06 PM (W+kMI)

308 Annette and the Beach Boys perform The Monkey's Uncle

https://youtu.be/oRTlfFlJ4o8

Posted by: Count de Monet at January 05, 2018 01:07 PM (QLvwG)

309 I've only heard Wolffe in clips on the radio and I've got to say that if anyone sounds mentally impaired, it's him.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at January 05, 2018 01:07 PM (oVJmc)

310 305 Chimps are vicious. They'll grab a baby from its mom and eat it alive. The lucky baby chimps are the ones who only get raped.
Posted by: kallisto at January 05, 2018 01:06 PM (YtZB9)

They'll eat your face and bite your hands off.

Posted by: Insomniac - Meet the New Year, same as the old year at January 05, 2018 01:07 PM (NWiLs)

311 I bet there are some people out there who now think Trump is in league with Gorilla Grodd. Yeah, yeah, Trump got elected in collusion with a telepathic super-genius gorilla who stages fights for him.

IMPEACH!!!

Posted by: The Ultra-Humanite at January 05, 2018 01:07 PM (qHxA7)

312 Real Housegorillas of the Serengeti

Posted by: WhatWhatWhat? at January 05, 2018 01:07 PM (ul9CR)

313 Hey Michelle is the goril a my dreams

Posted by: Poet Preezy McBumblefuck at January 05, 2018 01:07 PM (U5Xeq)

314 The Bachelor Gorilla

Posted by: wth at January 05, 2018 01:08 PM (HgMAr)

315 >>The lucky baby chimps are the ones who only get raped. Posted by: kallisto at January 05, 2018 01:06 PM (YtZB9)

Re-posted for emphasis.

Posted by: Zod at January 05, 2018 01:08 PM (Bdeb0)

316 310. I wish that I could meet their tailors.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Booking Agent, Aero Pinochet at January 05, 2018 01:08 PM (fA1SL)

317 >>I still reserve judgment on Sessions, but I agree that if heads roll, Rosenstein will be caught up in it. In retrospect, his "recommendation/opinion" to fire Comey seems part of the plan to install Mueller to cover up all the misdeeds and perpetuate the muh Russia witch hunt.

Trump asked Rosenstein to right him a letter recommending he fire Comey and then Trump went on to say that he had already decided to fire Comey anyway.

I still think people are going to be surprised at the extent of what is going to be turned up by the OIG investigation. It's bigger than Russia.

Posted by: JackStraw at January 05, 2018 01:08 PM (/tuJf)

318 If only the guy had said Shark Week instead of Gorilla Channel, with Trump insisting that he get Sharknado 1-5 on the Animal Planet's Shark Week....this joke would have survived for centuries as fact.

Posted by: Lizzy at January 05, 2018 01:08 PM (W+vEI)

319 The Gorilla channel did exist from 2008 to 2016. It was CNN. But we don't want to give Moochelle any more publicity now.

Posted by: Ringo Phonebone at January 05, 2018 01:09 PM (D/N6u)

320 Posted by: Scott Dwildo at January 05, 2018 01:06 PM (U5Xeq)

I think Obama should take a permanent rest from trying to subvert the government and spend the rest of his life, along with Maxine Waters , writing poetry.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at January 05, 2018 01:09 PM (8+Ozj)

321 We have verifiable proof they are. They elected Obama, twice.
----------

Looking at Obama's opponents with fresh eyes, I am not entirely certain this country made the wrong decision either time. Especially with that rotten two-faced bastard in '08.

Posted by: Mega at January 05, 2018 01:09 PM (00V4d)

322 Clint Eastwood: "Right Turn, Clyde" will become a three part mini-series.

Posted by: rickb223 at January 05, 2018 01:09 PM (0R8lo)

323

Hey hey we're the Gorillas
And people say we gorilla around
But we're too busy singing
To put anybody down

Posted by: TheQuietMan at January 05, 2018 01:09 PM (493sH)

324 Gorilla, you really got me now/you got me so I can't sleep at night...

Posted by: Zod at January 05, 2018 01:09 PM (Bdeb0)

325 294
The Miss Jungle~~verse~~wear Contest

Posted by: WhatWhatWhat? at January 05, 2018 01:05 PM (ul9CR)

Fixed. Submission due by noon, tomorrow, EDT.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at January 05, 2018 01:10 PM (Dp6qK)

326 "I said I wanted to watch that Bear Grylls marathon, not Gorillas. #Fake news!"

-- Trump

Posted by: Lizzy at January 05, 2018 01:10 PM (W+vEI)

327 Racist!

Posted by: Porch Gorilla Union Rep at January 05, 2018 01:10 PM (U5Xeq)

328
Now is the time for someone to claim some stupid passage from obama's book as something Trump said and watch the media go crazy. Course, then you would have to read it.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at January 05, 2018 01:11 PM (r+sAi)

329 320 Posted by: Scott Dwildo at January 05, 2018 01:06 PM (U5Xeq)

I think Obama should take a permanent rest from trying to subvert the government and spend the rest of his life, along with Maxine Waters , writing poetry.
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at January 05, 2018 01:09 PM (8+Ozj)

I'm trying to imagine what Barry-Maxine poetry would look like and what I'm coming up with would get me banned.

Posted by: joncelli, because somebody had to at January 05, 2018 01:11 PM (RD7QR)

330 I think Obama should take a permanent rest from trying to subvert the government and spend the rest of his life, along with Maxine Waters,~~writing poetry~~ traveling among non-extraditable countries.

FIFY.

Posted by: rickb223 at January 05, 2018 01:11 PM (0R8lo)

331 Wow. Do you think the people buying this book and the garbage in it are just seeking affirmation of their unmoored biases and prejudices?

Who'd a thunk it?

Posted by: Marcus T at January 05, 2018 01:11 PM (VpIIl)

332 Their brains are soaked in 30 dollar martini's and cocaine.

Posted by: Monk at January 05, 2018 01:11 PM (g4lFK)

333 Schlonged !!

Posted by: King Kong at January 05, 2018 01:11 PM (T0yXe)

334

Gorillasmoke with Marshall Matt Gorilla

Posted by: TheQuietMan at January 05, 2018 01:11 PM (493sH)

335 Looking at Obama's opponents with fresh eyes, I am not entirely certain this country made the wrong decision either time. Especially with that rotten two-faced bastard in '08.
Posted by: Mega at January 05, 2018 01:09 PM (00V4d)

I voted for Bob Barr. Never regretted it.

John McCain absolutely believes in the primacy of the State over the Citizen. He just wanted to use it differently than Obama.

Posted by: ScoggDog at January 05, 2018 01:11 PM (upzye)

336
Other classics on the GC:
I dream of Gorillas
Mutiny on the Gorilla
Mist in the Gorillas
The Gorilla Bunch
A Gorilla in Paris
Posted by: Guy Mohawk

Gorilla Five-O was one of my favorites.It had a catchy opening.

Posted by: Mr. Beeks at January 05, 2018 01:11 PM (lKyWE)

337 This thread needs some roof Gorillas.

Posted by: Deplorable Redneck Bitter Clinger at January 05, 2018 01:11 PM (jAZR9)

338 Comey, Rosenstein, Mueller are the "tip of the spear". The fake dossier was nothing till Comey brought it into the WH, then Rosenstein/Mueller (had to know its origin) pushed the Fusion propaganda to remove/cripply the duly elected president.

The document was just a stone till those 3 made it look legit. Of course the MSM and DNC were part of the shaft, but the BigMoney spearchuckers (Soros, Slim, Bezos?) are the ones that need to be tied to the whole subversive/treasonous plot.

Posted by: illiniwek at January 05, 2018 01:11 PM (otAqJ)

339 317
>>I still reserve judgment on Sessions, but I agree that if heads roll, Rosenstein will be caught up in it. In retrospect, his "recommendation/opinion" to fire Comey seems part of the plan to install Mueller to cover up all the misdeeds and perpetuate the muh Russia witch hunt.

Trump asked Rosenstein to right him a letter recommending he fire Comey and then Trump went on to say that he had already decided to fire Comey anyway.

I still think people are going to be surprised at the extent of what is going to be turned up by the OIG investigation. It's bigger than Russia.

Posted by: JackStraw at January 05, 2018 01:08 PM (/tuJf)

So my sequence of events is flipped. Did Rosenstein then plot with Comey to install Comey-friend, Mueller?

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at January 05, 2018 01:12 PM (Dp6qK)

340 It should have gone "one gorilla, two gorilla, three gorilla, four!"

That Fleagle just had a better agent.

Posted by: Bingo at January 05, 2018 01:12 PM (LjgWA)

341 305 Chimps are vicious. They'll grab a baby from its mom and eat it alive. The lucky baby chimps are the ones who only get raped.

Posted by: kallisto at January 05, 2018 01:06 PM (YtZB9)

gees. That even disgusted me. I hate monkeys. Did a painting job in a house that had pet moneys in a cage. They screamed and ran around the cage ALL FUCKING DAY.

My friend got so sick of it he snapped and shook the cage and yelled "STFU monkeys!!!"

I didn't think they could screech any louder...but....

I like gorillas though...the ones I've met.

Posted by: Cannibal Bob at January 05, 2018 01:12 PM (4CCz5)

342 252 209 Dim Dems would believe anything about Trump. This might be a fun exercise in creative writing-Make up completely outrageous stories claiming they came from Wolff's book and.mock away.
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at January 05, 2018 12:53 PM (8+Ozj)

Trump hired Russian hookers to pee on a bed! Nah, no one would believe that.
Posted by: josephistan at January 05, 2018 12:59 PM (7HtZB)

Trump and CNN are working together to destroy media credibility--leaving CNN without competition.

Posted by: Northernlurker, am I lurking or am I skulking at January 05, 2018 01:12 PM (nBr1j)

343 True..or they want to establish a theocracy.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at January 05, 2018 01:03 PM (8+Ozj)

Oh yes I forgot Christofascist religious zealot. Thank you!!!!

Posted by: Mega at January 05, 2018 01:13 PM (00V4d)

344 The Golden Gorillas
That Gorilla

Posted by: Pug Mahon in the Upside Down at January 05, 2018 01:13 PM (sGSvK)

345

Fox Business is showing pictures of Michael Wolff. He looks like Dr. Evil with glasses

Posted by: TheQuietMan at January 05, 2018 01:14 PM (493sH)

346 While all this was happening with Trump, a cop raped a 9 year old girl then shot her in the head and ate the body.

When will it all end?

Posted by: Jwest at January 05, 2018 01:14 PM (/roJx)

347 They screamed and ran around the cage ALL FUCKING DAY.

My friend got so sick of it he snapped and shook the cage and yelled "STFU monkeys!!!"

I didn't think they could screech any louder...but....

Sounds an awful lot like liberals.

Posted by: jsg at January 05, 2018 01:14 PM (T0yXe)

348 It makes me kind of sad that there is not an all-fight, all-the-time Gorilla Channel. I can't be the only one who wants this to be a thing.

Posted by: Bear with Assymetrical Balls at January 05, 2018 01:14 PM (ppBhU)

349 Under water grottos, caverns

Filled with apes

That eat figs.

Stepping on the figs

That the apes

Eat, they crunch.

The apes howl, bare

Their fangs, dance,

Tumble in the

Rushing water,

Musty, wet pelts

Glistening in the blue

Posted by: Scott Dwildo at January 05, 2018 01:06 PM (U5Xeq)

FIGS DON'T FUCKING CRUNCH YOU INDONESIAN IMBECILE!

Posted by: Timon at January 05, 2018 01:15 PM (NTM5E)

350 I want the Gorilla Channel that shows Gorilla Pundit peeing on Russian hookers.

Posted by: Adirondack Patriot at January 05, 2018 01:15 PM (ATVNj)

351 Nood - pokeman

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Booking Agent, Aero Pinochet at January 05, 2018 01:15 PM (fA1SL)

352
Media is no longer reporting, and they have even gone beyond partisanship. They are now fiction writers looking for something so shocking that people retweet it. like a marriage between shock jocks, and james carville. with a/b testing.
Posted by: Gentlemen, this is democracy manifest at January 05, 2018 01:03 PM (LWu6U)

They've become oppo research outfits instead of news outlets.

FusionCNN
FusionMSNBC
FusionNBC
FusionCBS
FusionABC
FusionWaPo

Posted by: Hands at January 05, 2018 01:15 PM (EzdLW)

353 "Look at that little human run!"

Posted by: Howard Cosell at January 05, 2018 01:15 PM (Bdeb0)

354 True story: I grew up down the street from the girl who later, along with her husband, owned the chimp from the Eastwood movies.

She married a karate studio owner who taught the chimp karate and they got it into show biz. Her family always had monkeys and other animals running around. They had a license or something.

Posted by: WhatWhatWhat? at January 05, 2018 01:15 PM (ul9CR)

355 Maybe I'm naive, but even if I hadn't voted for Trump I would find it hard to believe he hired prostitutes to pee on a bed. Trump has always appeared very conscious of the impression he makes, as well as being a sharp dresser and rather fastidious. Plus, someone married to Melania is going to hire pros to pee on a bed?!! Delusional D's are dumb.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at January 05, 2018 01:15 PM (8+Ozj)

356 Soon.

Posted by: Magilla Gorilla at January 05, 2018 01:16 PM (ATVNj)

357 I think Obama should take a permanent rest from trying to subvert the government and spend the rest of his life, along with Maxine Waters , writing poetry.
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at January 05, 2018 01:09 PM (8+Ozj)

Why yes! After DJT has finished decimating his legacy the presidential library will be looking empty..

Posted by: Scott Dwildo at January 05, 2018 01:16 PM (U5Xeq)

358 Sounds an awful lot like liberals.

Posted by: jsg at January 05, 2018 01:14 PM (T0yXe)

Huh..and I do yell "STFU monkey!"

Posted by: Cannibal Bob at January 05, 2018 01:16 PM (4CCz5)

359 the thing about all of this "tweet" stuff, when I sit back and reflect: I don't know any "normal" people who work normal jobs who have any exposure to this at all. I was explaining to my wife what a "tweet" was the other day, and she just said "that sounds dumb. Why would anyone even look at that stuff?"

I think the entire "tweet" thing is just an exercise in self flagellation by political nerds, celebrity worshipers, and media whores. But outside of those limited groups, I really don't think anyone pays attention to any of this nonsense. I certainly don't know anyone in my real world life who does.

Posted by: Tom Servo at January 05, 2018 01:16 PM (k1TUh)

360 341. I can't even imagine the stench.

Posted by: kallisto at January 05, 2018 01:16 PM (YtZB9)

361 Libs on the guy's Twitter feed think that THEM finding it believable is a reflection on Trump.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at January 05, 2018 01:16 PM (oVJmc)

362 Gorillacoat Junction?

Posted by: Furious George at January 05, 2018 01:17 PM (j+dfT)

363 True story: I grew up down the street from the girl who later, along with her husband, owned the chimp from the Eastwood movies.
. . .

I'm a fricking Orangutan!

Posted by: Clyde at January 05, 2018 01:17 PM (ppBhU)

364 While all this was happening with Trump, a cop raped a 9 year old girl then shot her in the head and ate the body.

Yeah ... real funny. Read the article.

He raped the dog, then took a ricochet to the leg as the 9 year old picked up an unattended pistol.

But it's all good. The cop made it home to his family. And that's all that matters.

*holds hand over heart*

Posted by: ScoggDog at January 05, 2018 01:17 PM (upzye)

365 I wish that I had Jessie's gorilla.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at January 05, 2018 01:17 PM (p+Wdc)

366 It will be back to inmates running the asylum.

Posted by: Marcus T at January 05, 2018 01:01 PM (VpIIl)

Oh, great. More fodder for them to call us racist.

Posted by: blaster at January 05, 2018 01:17 PM (Z5y53)

367 348 It makes me kind of sad that there is not an all-fight, all-the-time Gorilla Channel. I can't be the only one who wants this to be a thing.
Posted by: Bear with Assymetrical Balls at January 05, 2018 01:14 PM (ppBhU)

I'm in.

Posted by: Cannibal Bob at January 05, 2018 01:18 PM (4CCz5)

368 >>So my sequence of events is flipped. Did Rosenstein then plot with Comey to install Comey-friend, Mueller?

I'm not convinced yet that Rosenstein is a bad guy so far.

My belief is that Trump has known about the attempt to take his campaign down and then hamstring his administration if the take down failed before he was even sworn in. I see his tweets not necessarily to be taken at face value but more as shaping the battlefield.

Posted by: JackStraw at January 05, 2018 01:18 PM (/tuJf)

369 195 I recently met a woman who has Sons in College, one of who was thinking of joining the military...

She said she told him 'not while Trump is President, he will start wars and get you killed'...

I was floored.... I asked her if Trump had started any Wars? and she thought...

Then I asked how many Wars OBAMA had started... how many combat ops he had gotten us into... and she had no idea...

But she gets her 'learnin' from the MSM....
=======
Obummer loved him some drone strikes. Didn't have to justify a thing or put his credibilty on the line in the streets and mountains, just fly up, aim, and BANG!!

Posted by: exdem13 at January 05, 2018 01:18 PM (W+kMI)

370 "She married a karate studio owner who taught the chimp karate and they got it into show biz. Her family always had monkeys and other animals running around. They had a license or something."

Was her name Ellie Mae?

Posted by: Tom Servo at January 05, 2018 01:19 PM (k1TUh)

371 Embrace the Wolff book. The only way out is through. Celebrate it. Let it fill you with joy.

Posted by: Max Power at January 05, 2018 01:19 PM (Hucnr)

372 And now for a word from one of my favorite conspiracy theorists on how everything ties together....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yRU4iZUsTY0

Posted by: exdem13 at January 05, 2018 01:20 PM (W+kMI)

373 Then I asked how many Wars OBAMA had started... how many combat ops he had gotten us into... and she had no idea...

Thinking. it's not a liberal value.

Posted by: Cannibal Bob at January 05, 2018 01:20 PM (4CCz5)

374 367 348 It makes me kind of sad that there is not an all-fight, all-the-time Gorilla Channel. I can't be the only one who wants this to be a thing.
Posted by: Bear with Assymetrical Balls at January 05, 2018 01:14 PM (ppBhU)

I'm in.
Posted by: Cannibal Bob at January 05, 2018 01:18 PM

Call your cable provider!

Posted by: Formerly known as Skeptic at January 05, 2018 01:20 PM (91XRk)

375 owned the chimp from the Eastwood movies.

Clyde the orangutang ?

Posted by: Adriane the Movie Critic ... at January 05, 2018 01:20 PM (AoK0a)

376 Did someone someone say busty lesbian gorilla pron?

Posted by: Magilla Gorilla at January 05, 2018 01:21 PM (LilNs)

377 This is G.N.N.

Posted by: andycanuck at January 05, 2018 01:21 PM (QCX64)

378 n00d

Posted by: Parker at January 05, 2018 01:21 PM (ZfzDM)

379 This is so great. Made my day.

I'm sure our resident Gorilla Pundit will have quite a bit to say about this.

Posted by: Donna and V. (sans ampersands at t at January 05, 2018 01:21 PM (ZM2xo)

380 Report from down in the field: I am witnessing known (to me) longstanding Trump haters - who are not liberals but rather just don't like Trump - begin to turn. And he has done it through uncannily steady leadership. Every day you wake up, you have no idea what will come out of the mouths of libs, but you KNOW what Trump is going to be. On top of that he is clearly "getting shit done". That predictability is comforting for people on a subconscious level.

If Trumpy continues turning those people through his actions and firm hand, and I have believed all along he will, 2020 is going to be a rout, and more depressing for Democrats than even 2012 was for us. I mean the wailing and sky-screaming will make 2016 look like a game of tiddlywinks.

Posted by: Mega at January 05, 2018 01:22 PM (00V4d)

381 Wheres my fucking service dog!!!

*shows tits*
Posted by: PETA Chick at January 05, 2018 12:56 PM (4CCz5)

Speaking of which...why is there an area in the secure part of the airport for you to "relieve" your "service Ferret", but no smoking lounge? What's up with that?

Posted by: Traveling Man at January 05, 2018 01:22 PM (R5lpX)

382 Would you humans please stop dragging us into all this craziness. We rarely fight and are vegetarians to boot. You humans are the war-mongers and fighters. Stop projecting.

And we Fathers stick around and help raise our children, even playing and babysitting them, which many human fathers do not.

We do like and support Gorilla Pundit. If there was a Gorilla Channel it should be him. People would actually learn something, unlike a lot of news channels & talking heads.

Posted by: Gorillas Everywhere at January 05, 2018 01:22 PM (n0Iwq)

383 338 Comey, Rosenstein, Mueller are the "tip of the spear". The fake dossier was nothing till Comey brought it into the WH, then Rosenstein/Mueller (had to know its origin) pushed the Fusion propaganda to remove/cripply the duly elected president.

The document was just a stone till those 3 made it look legit. Of course the MSM and DNC were part of the shaft, but the BigMoney spearchuckers (Soros, Slim, Bezos?) are the ones that need to be tied to the whole subversive/treasonous plot.
Posted by: illiniwek at January 05, 2018 01:11 PM (otAqJ)

That file was shopped around for months. It was John McCain who gave it credibility when he hand delivered it. McCain must have finally become expendable to the military establishment for this investigation to move forward. Admiral addy's WWII street cred has expired....

Posted by: Voter Dude at January 05, 2018 01:25 PM (U5Xeq)

384 Daddy's even

Posted by: Voter Dude at January 05, 2018 01:26 PM (U5Xeq)

385 Remember: you can't spell Tourette's withoout Toure!

Posted by: Jane Goodall, Asst. V.P. in charge of Programming, Gorilla Channel News. "This...is GNN!" at January 05, 2018 01:26 PM (m6qV1)

386 >>>Okay, at what point do you officially disbelieve this quote?

It's obvious from the first sentence. If he thought such a channel existed, it would be because he watched it before moving into the White House.

If he watched it before moving into the White House, he would have been able to identify the station, and then the staff would have been able to verify if that station was included in the current White House's cable package, and simply order another package including that station if not. As satire it never got off the ground with me because I was unable to suspend disbelief and play along with the premise.

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at January 05, 2018 01:28 PM (/qEW2)

387 Well, now that collusion with Russia is proving to be a total hoax and the only collusion is with Hillary Clinton and the FBI/Russia, the Fake News Media (Mainstream) and this phony new book are hitting out at every new front imaginable. They should try winning an election. Sad!

Posted by: MISH McConnell at January 05, 2018 01:29 PM (y3aQB)

388 Update: People point out that this guy said the quote was "*literally* incredible" -- he seems to have been in on the prank, and was just sharing it so that others could enjoy it.

I don't. I think he does believe it. These dipshits have no clue about how to properly use "literally."

https://youtu.be/8Gv0H-vPoDc

Posted by: buzzion at January 05, 2018 01:30 PM (cAnNx)

389 Is there a 24/7 boxing channel? Who'd be able to tell the difference?

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at January 05, 2018 01:31 PM (/qEW2)

390 Bond. Gorilla Bond in Goldfinger
Posted by: jsg at January 05, 2018 01:05 PM (T0yXe)

Keeps your apes from sticking, burning and reddening.

(not for use on mandrils and baboons, please contact your medical provider if symptoms continue or get worse)

Posted by: Kindltot at January 05, 2018 01:37 PM (2K6fY)

391 This country has become so stupid that I now realize that the movie Idiocracy is not a sci-fi comedy farce but is in fact, a documentary.

Posted by: LGoPs at January 05, 2018 01:47 PM (C0MK3)

392 Gorilla channel goes on when the pee play begins.

Posted by: Trump Dossier at January 05, 2018 01:47 PM (1VDgB)

393 FIGS DON'T FUCKING CRUNCH YOU INDONESIAN IMBECILE!
==========
that's what makes it poetry

that and nice tight crease on the pant leg

Posted by: David Brooks at January 05, 2018 01:52 PM (C6xeQ)

394 Thank god for Twitter in demonstrating just how stupid the left AKA adherers to shitty Marxism really are.

Posted by: SC at January 05, 2018 01:54 PM (WiPBb)

395 #391 yes. It's stunning.

Posted by: SC at January 05, 2018 01:55 PM (WiPBb)

396 Ace needs to add "Home of Gorilla Pundit" to this new Twitter page. In parentheses or something.

Posted by: Gorillas Everywhere at January 05, 2018 02:02 PM (n0Iwq)

397 "Why isn't there a Gorilla Fight Channel?"

It's called the "nightly news" in Chicago.

Posted by: MaGoose at January 05, 2018 02:03 PM (0dmP2)

398 Would you humans please stop dragging us into all this craziness. We rarely fight and are vegetarians to boot.

Posted by: Gorillas Everywhere at January 05, 2018 01:22 PM (n0Iwq)
---
Pussy.

Posted by: Gorilla Channel Real Gorilla at January 05, 2018 02:21 PM (vDqXW)

399 And what if there was a gorilla channel. And while watching them we learned that they were actually hatching some plan to take over the planet. What then?

Posted by: Knaws at January 05, 2018 02:28 PM (8X9tr)

400 I'd watch a gorilla channel.

I thought this fake except was hilarious...and likely to be more factual and entertaining than the actual book when it comes out.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards now with TLJ review linkage at January 05, 2018 02:37 PM (xJa6I)

401 Where's gorilla gumdrop?

Posted by: kallisto at January 05, 2018 03:27 PM (LxBcy)

402 Ha! I must have heard you kallisto.

I didn't expect to be here, but the whole Gorilla Channel thing was like a siren song. I *HAD* to see what Ace, the Horde, and Gorilla Pundit were going to say.

The temptation was too great.

Posted by: Professor Chaos 2018 aka gorilla gumdrop at January 05, 2018 03:52 PM (n0Iwq)

403 Would you humans please stop dragging us into all this craziness. We rarely fight and are vegetarians to boot.

Posted by: Gorillas Everywhere at January 05, 2018 01:22 PM (n0Iwq)
---
Pussy.
Posted by: Gorilla Channel Real Gorilla at January 05, 2018 02:21 PM (vDqXW)

Gauntlent thrown, eh Monkey Boy? You are obviously one of our distant Ape Cousins who mortify us...all.the.time. You're just jealous and wish you could be like us. *blows raspberry*

Posted by: Professor Chaos 2018 aka gorilla gumdrop at January 05, 2018 03:57 PM (n0Iwq)

404 402. it didn't seem right that you would miss this one. Even though you are in deep mourning for Harambe (pbuh.)

Posted by: kallisto at January 05, 2018 04:54 PM (X+q7f)

405 Been out all day and just back. Only read the gorilla one but I am lmfao soooo hard. Sorry for the late comment, don't taze me.

Posted by: Peaches at January 05, 2018 05:00 PM (14URa)

406 These guys want to believe so hard it puts Fox Mulder to shame.

Posted by: perturbed at January 05, 2018 06:10 PM (H/7ko)

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