Thanksgiving Open Thread

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at 01:51 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Everyone eating yet?

Posted by: Skip at November 23, 2017 01:49 PM (qcbvC)

2 Corgis called.
6 degrees in Alaska, glad I'm not there

Posted by: Skip at November 23, 2017 01:51 PM (qcbvC)

3 If my kid would have behaved that way, I'd have gone across the table and slapped him before grabbing him and tossing him out the door.

Posted by: Blake at November 23, 2017 01:52 PM (WEBkv)

4 Turkey just went in the oven.

Target time: 1800

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at November 23, 2017 01:52 PM (EyPfd)

5 He should've done the ole yank the tablecloth trick!

Posted by: Concerned People's Front Splitter Chapter at November 23, 2017 01:52 PM (2X7pN)

6 6?

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at November 23, 2017 01:54 PM (/qEW2)

7 To continue from the previous thread, isn't the distinction between Fedora and Trilby broad brim versus narrow?

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 23, 2017 01:55 PM (oPNmq)

8 Dad should've asked him if he'd like some stuffing, put some on his fist and punched him in the mouth.

Posted by: Concerned People's Front Splitter Chapter at November 23, 2017 01:55 PM (2X7pN)

9 Put turkey on grill an hour ago. Of course, being a moron, i hadn't checked gas tank yesterday. Got about 1/3 of gas in tank. Spare tank is empty. Hopefully, it's enough to make it to the finish.

Posted by: olddog in mo at November 23, 2017 01:56 PM (uo1Et)

10 Good grief, the rest of the video is worse. Yeah, at first sign of disrespect, that kid is looking for a new place to stay for the evening and then some.

Posted by: Blake at November 23, 2017 01:56 PM (WEBkv)

11
Looks like they're eating in the basement. No wonder the kid is pissed off. His bedroom is gonna smell like turkey for days.

Posted by: Ace Tractor Seat Supply at November 23, 2017 01:56 PM (ajiE5)

12 Many blessings horde. Time for the Dog Show.

Posted by: Cannibal Bob 'long pork, the gourmets choice' at November 23, 2017 01:56 PM (VezBU)

13 Everyone eating yet?

Been doing that since this morning. Buuuuuuurrrrrp. Scotch and cigars on the patio. Its sunny and almost 70 here in Denver.

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at November 23, 2017 01:57 PM (oLTNb)

14 Prime Rib is coated with a layer of bacon frosting and on the grill. MMMMm.

Posted by: Blake at November 23, 2017 01:57 PM (WEBkv)

15 Eating at 2pm. Sons and I did all the cooking starting at 6am.

Daughter just graced us with her presence from sleeping in.

First words - *when are we eating?*.

I'm not PO'd. I just told her she gets to clean up. I dirtied every pot and pan in the house. She has the sadz.

Happy ****ing Thanksgiving Sweetie!! XOXOXO

Posted by: Tonypete at November 23, 2017 01:57 PM (tr2D7)

16 I am not watching that psycho kid video. I have no intention of spending the rest of the day thinking what should happen to him.

But I love MH's note at the top. It is just perfect. And true.

Posted by: JTB at November 23, 2017 01:59 PM (V+03K)

17 Under the beneficient reign of Emperor AOP, all parents of teenagers and other noisy small proto-humans would be require to own and maintain a tranquilizer dart gun.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 23, 2017 02:00 PM (oPNmq)

18 Fond memories of Thanksgiving growing up with the doggeh. His feast was getting the giblets.

Posted by: logprof at November 23, 2017 02:00 PM (GsAUU)

19 Canadian Thanksgiving was like a month ago. We still have leftyovers.

Posted by: Lickmuffin at November 23, 2017 02:00 PM (TRhby)

20 P.S. Hillary Clinton will never be President of the USA.

Posted by: logprof at November 23, 2017 02:00 PM (GsAUU)

21 Oh! Is it Thanksgiving?

Milady announced a while ago that all the food was prepared, now she just had to work on herself. So, still a while to go.

I'm going to finish this cup of brandy with a dash of coffee, then probably put on my shoes, and pack the car. It's just work, work, work for a guy I tellz ya.

Posted by: mindful webworker - the other side of this life at November 23, 2017 02:01 PM (ftdxp)

22 The worst part for me is not so much that the kid is an asshole. It's that he's the end product exemplar of how the left undermines society.

He is a success story for the left. That is what they want to produce.

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at November 23, 2017 02:01 PM (/qEW2)

23 I thought this video was outed as a fake a couple of Turkey Days ago.

Happy Thanksgiving Ya'll and enjoy!

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at November 23, 2017 02:01 PM (nUkMr)

24 I sense some tension in that family. Dad shoulda studied Ace's rules for Thanksgrievance Day dinner. Or put boot to ass. Mostly boot to ass.

Posted by: fly gal at November 23, 2017 02:01 PM (ZmxAx)

25 I'm going with fake but accurate on the video.

Posted by: no good deed at November 23, 2017 02:04 PM (eIQHF)

26 That video is lame.

Here's the classic Thanksgiving scene from Cheers:

https://youtu.be/fX6bQkiu8JI

Posted by: logprof at November 23, 2017 02:04 PM (GsAUU)

27 imo, the dad is the instigator. but then it's explained at the end:

it's philadelphia.

Posted by: musical jolly chimp at November 23, 2017 02:04 PM (AxFdW)

28 23 I thought this video was outed as a fake a couple of Turkey Days ago.

Happy Thanksgiving Ya'll and enjoy!
Posted by: Hairyback Guy at November 23, 2017 02:01 PM (nUkMr)

I want to believe it's fake, but the comments were such the video easily is real. Hard to fake the women weeping and one gal telling the guy with the camera to "grow up."

Or, it's a superb job of acting all the way around.

Posted by: Blake at November 23, 2017 02:05 PM (WEBkv)

29 I'm not watching anything negative on video today because as one local has already put it -

Its sunny and almost 70 here in Denver.

It's above 70 here in Boulder County! It's awesome. I might walk downtown.

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at November 23, 2017 02:05 PM (6FqZa)

30 the winner of the national Dog show (on NBC) looked like an Ewok!
that's a sign from God or something

Posted by: Saxon at November 23, 2017 02:06 PM (kXzR8)

31 and I got to meet westminsterdogshow at her block-party with the neighbors (guess I have to spell it without a 'u' on this day)

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at November 23, 2017 02:06 PM (6FqZa)

32 I was le sad that there wasn't an MST3K marathon on, but then I found Howling II: Your Sister is a Werewolf on Comet, and it even has Reb Brown! This is going to be quality cheez.

Ooh, Christopher Lee is at a punk rock club!

Posted by: Goody Eris, She-Wolf of Plymouth Rock at November 23, 2017 02:07 PM (qJtVm)

33 It's above 70 here in Boulder County! It's awesome. I might walk downtown.

****************************

Lots of Coloradan morons around today! (70 in Colorado Springs). The weather is the best thing about the state, if you don't like it, wait an hour.

Posted by: The Coloradan New Yorker at November 23, 2017 02:09 PM (uXEPm)

34 knowing You-Tube craziness it is possible that wild child scene was staged ... but could be real. It kinda went from zero to sixty in like two seconds ... (and someone is laughing at it all)

kid says nice things, then insults Dad
... OK, Dad -- stand -- say your "not part of family" line
... OK, kid go nuts, toss the table (on those you just said you liked)

But it captures the intent of Schumer handing out bullet points on how to destroy Thanksgiving Dinner.

(I was looking at that nice dish hold the mashed potatoes or something, hope they didn't break it)

Posted by: illiniwek at November 23, 2017 02:10 PM (/aIFg)

35 It's almost 60 up here in Montucky!

Blowin' like a zaftig intern, too.

Posted by: garrett at November 23, 2017 02:11 PM (h/Lzr)

36 Happy Thanksgiving to all from the Mis Hum household.

We are celebrating the holiday this weekend when the former tax exemptions roll in.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at November 23, 2017 02:11 PM (3/sUh)

37 also, been a huge rainbow sitting in the field/riverbottom behind the house all morning.

Posted by: garrett at November 23, 2017 02:12 PM (h/Lzr)

38 Blowin' like a zaftig intern, too.

Don't spill anything.

Posted by: BJ from Little Rock at November 23, 2017 02:12 PM (6FqZa)

39 Well here food is imminent

Posted by: Skip at November 23, 2017 02:12 PM (qcbvC)

40 Worked the graveyard shift, a 4hr round trip to SA and back to pick up the kid. She's doing her thing while the food is cooking.

Hope y'll all have great Thanksgiving, we are truly lucky people whether we know it or not.

Posted by: auscolpyr at November 23, 2017 02:13 PM (pzA2L)

41 Blowin' like a zaftig intern, too.

Posted by: garrett at November 23, 2017 02:11 PM (h/Lzr)

Chinookin' here in Alberta, too. Snow is dropping like a paralyzed falcon.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at November 23, 2017 02:13 PM (oPNmq)

42
I'm going to finish this cup of brandy with a dash of coffee, then probably put on my shoes, and pack the car. It's just work, work, work for a guy I tellz ya.
Posted by: mindful webworker - the other side of this life at November 23, 2017 02:01 PM (ftdxp)

That's our boy. Pants are optional

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at November 23, 2017 02:13 PM (3/sUh)

43 Oh- and I am thankful for well anchored shelving.

Posted by: garrett at November 23, 2017 02:13 PM (h/Lzr)

44 Called my 97 years young mom today. #ThankfulFor being able to call her today!!

Asked her if she got the holiday she asked for: no TDay at her house as usual).

She said, even with everyone else doing the work, she had to be, you know, up and sociable for a week before and a week after for the usual large family dinner. She's a bit wistful, but happy to be lying around in her bathrobe today.

We'll still have a turkey sandwich with her this weekend. And pie.

She watched the Macy's parade but said she didn't see any protesters. Good.

I think we can start having, at the front of any parade, National Guardsmen and water cannons.

Posted by: mindful webworker - the other side of this life at November 23, 2017 02:14 PM (ftdxp)

45 Mine from previous thread.

Turkey (12 lb) in oven, bag method, at 2 to be ready 4-430 or so.
Cranberries and pie done last night. Stuffing to fix in a while to go in
the oven with the turkey. Then mashed potatoes.

Just my wife and I so there will be a lot of leftovers. Love turkey sandwiches.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

Posted by: geoffb at November 23, 2017 02:16 PM (zOpu5)

46 How many of our fathers would have left our lifeless body wherever it happened to land after an outburst like that ?

*Raises hand*

Posted by: jsg at November 23, 2017 02:17 PM (b4tIh)

47 BTW: "Dogs are God's way of apologizing for your relatives" is so cute and funny it didn't even make me (very) sad that this is our first holiday season without a dog.

Just learned that OutOfTown son is bringing, besides his Mrs and the grandbaby, his two dogs, the oversized one with the property-destroying tail and the neurotic undersized one.

I'm sure daughter's cat will be delighted.

Posted by: mindful webworker - the alternative at November 23, 2017 02:18 PM (ftdxp)

48 I hope it's a hoax. MisHum posted the story a while back about the woman who trained squirrels to mutilate her ex boyfriend. I guess he does it to test the hypothesis, "things have gotten so bad, there's no such thing as parody any more. Anything would be plausible".

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at November 23, 2017 02:18 PM (/qEW2)

49 Turkey goes in soon, then two hours later --Ta Da! a quiet dinner with my bride.

Before dawn I watched Jupiter continues to rise above Venus. Just as the the sun rose I saw the Green Flash, a bright and broad one. Huzzah! And what great temps. In the 60s.

Life is good.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at November 23, 2017 02:18 PM (hyuyC)

50 >>Turkey just went in the oven.

Target time: 1800

You gonna send Ace back in Time to pull it out of the Oven?

Posted by: garrett at November 23, 2017 02:19 PM (C4CCp)

51 49 degrees here on the western slope. Nice view of Long's Peak from the yard today. Merewife snuck in more Christmas lights for the fence, they stretch all the way down the front of the empire now, 270 feet.

Posted by: Meremortal, no prosecutions, no peace! at November 23, 2017 02:20 PM (3myMJ)

52 I just started the beef teriyaki. Will be taking it to mil's house in a couple of hours.

Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at November 23, 2017 02:21 PM (mpXpK)

53
I am not watching that psycho kid video. I have no intention of spending the rest of the day thinking what should happen to him.
----------------------------

It's staged.

Posted by: Mega at November 23, 2017 02:22 PM (rv0Fo)

54 I'm still trying to get my rescued cat, Lexi, to stop jumping& sitting on kitchen table. J. J. Sefton told me to have water bottle & spray her with it. It worked for a few days, but I have sprayed her 5x at 1x this am & she kept it up. She was not happy with me, but she still would not stop.
There is no food on table except when we are eating.
I need a nap because she woke me up at 2 am for attention & 5 am for breakfast.

Happy Thanksgiving to The Horde!

Posted by: Carol at November 23, 2017 02:23 PM (NKOy9)

55 The video? I'm going with reenactment.

Posted by: Meremortal, no prosecutions, no peace! at November 23, 2017 02:24 PM (3myMJ)

56 Prayers up for all the rons and ettes on that heartbreaking list.

Posted by: Mega at November 23, 2017 02:24 PM (rv0Fo)

57 We have a lot for which to be thankful.
And thanks to all of youse for a place to hang out.

Posted by: RI Red - The sun is over the yardarm. at November 23, 2017 02:24 PM (IbZmN)

58 Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at November 23, 2017 02:18 PM (/qEW2)

I'm not sure, the kid has other videos on youtube.

Unfortunately, I've seen this kind of shit in real life.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at November 23, 2017 02:25 PM (3/sUh)

59 After the dinner we will do something quite uncharacteristic. Plan an urban shopping raid for the next day.

Team Salty, looking at entry routes; parking; paths to the treasures. Plotting to evade shoppers, get the fast checkout line and go to the next target. Get the loot, and escape the madness.

Shopping; spousal therapy.

I view it as LARP D&D, without the henchmen NPCs, cleric, and donkeys with the saddlebags containing 50 feet of rope, bags of holding, the extra lanterns, and 10 foot poles.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at November 23, 2017 02:26 PM (hyuyC)

60 32 I was le sad that there wasn't an MST3K marathon on

They're doing a livestreaming marathon on their youtube channel.

Posted by: Cave Johnson at November 23, 2017 02:26 PM (k9Qfl)

61 Posted by: Carol at November 23, 2017 02:23 PM (NKOy9)

We have the cat on dining room table issue. Used to spray but that's not good. Now she gets put down twice, then goes to time out in utility room for rest of dinner. Doesn't bother her at all. She doesn't even come right out when I open the door, just continues with whatever she's up to.

Posted by: Meremortal, no prosecutions, no peace! at November 23, 2017 02:26 PM (3myMJ)

62 53.4F here and overcast. I hate this kind of weather. I just wish it would go ahead and cool down and snow. Looks like rain but they say zero chance.

Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at November 23, 2017 02:27 PM (mpXpK)

63 49 degrees here on the western slope.

-
Nice dog walk down at the lake this morning. We saw a pied beaked grebe diving for his breakfast.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, I'm Dreaming of a White Privilege at November 23, 2017 02:28 PM (+y/Ru)

64 At least this year wifey has not plagued me to go out and find a newspaper for shopping. Last year every news stand in the county was sold out by 5 am.

Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at November 23, 2017 02:28 PM (mpXpK)

65 59. Don't forget your Flasks of the Needful. They convey + 5 humor and endurance, and make you humorous and witty.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Booking Agent, Aero Pinochet at November 23, 2017 02:28 PM (l2S5B)

66 Caltrops, Salty, you need caltrops.

Posted by: Bear with Assymetrical Balls at November 23, 2017 02:29 PM (H5knJ)

67 I hope that video is from a TV show or something.

Posted by: Insomniac - Nobody in Particular at November 23, 2017 02:29 PM (NWiLs)

68 The only time my cats get on the table is when I am sitting there at the window in the rocking chair doing the brown thing.

Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at November 23, 2017 02:30 PM (mpXpK)

69 Hard part now is not starting with the eating and drinking too soon.

Recent sinful indulgence discovered...sweet Hawaiian bread. Glad they're good for something down there.

Posted by: Meremortal, no prosecutions, no peace! at November 23, 2017 02:31 PM (3myMJ)

70 I view it as LARP D&D, without the henchmen NPCs, cleric, and donkeys with the saddlebags containing 50 feet of rope, bags of holding, the extra lanterns, and 10 foot poles.
Posted by: NaCly Dog at November 23, 2017 02:26 PM (hyuyC)

So, uh, where are you heading first?

Posted by: The Gelatinous Cube at November 23, 2017 02:31 PM (tMFgx)

71 Low 40s, sun and all blue skies, little wind. A beautiful late November day here.

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at November 23, 2017 02:32 PM (3/sUh)

72 Turkey countdown is on. T-minus 2 hours. Stopped at 5 bloody marys. Went for a walk. FaceTime with urber lib SIL and did not get nasty, but made faces.

How's that crow taste Hillz?

Posted by: Deplorable Redneck Bitter Clinger at November 23, 2017 02:32 PM (4KPJT)

73 Of course the Psycho Kid video is fake.

Check this out:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5OIsmIUVSiE

Posted by: MW at November 23, 2017 02:32 PM (wNx6K)

74 I would've beaten that stupid kid's ass, family or no. Sometimes family members need an ass-kicking. For example, I have a brother I should've put a whuppin' on years ago. He'd be a much better person today if I had.

Posted by: Insomniac - Nobody in Particular at November 23, 2017 02:33 PM (NWiLs)

75 Carol at November 23, 2017 02:23 PM

Happy Thanksgiving, Carol.

I've so enjoyed your having your cat.

Posted by: mindful webworker - the fake alternative at November 23, 2017 02:33 PM (ftdxp)

76 Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Booking Agent, Aero Pinochet

Gonna need fast reflexes. But maybe I'll get some wine for my wife. That will make things most interesting.

How are you doing? With the Colonel's big clan and your lovely Chosen One?

Posted by: NaCly Dog at November 23, 2017 02:34 PM (hyuyC)

77 Pie done, dressing and casserole in oven. Only have to do my hair and get dressed. Load up car, stop at liquor store and then pick up dad and go to the feast.

Posted by: Infidel at November 23, 2017 02:35 PM (Ix4M6)

78 Poor North Koreans. I've long thought we should bomb the shit out of them.

With food. Tons of it, marked "Hello from President Trump and the United States of America!"

And lots of candy for the kids.

Posted by: Meremortal, no prosecutions, no peace! at November 23, 2017 02:35 PM (3myMJ)

79 73 Of course the Psycho Kid video is fake.

Check this out:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5OIsmIUVSiE
Posted by: MW at November 23, 2017 02:32 PM (wNx6K)

Ah, it's a series of some kind.

Posted by: Insomniac - Nobody in Particular at November 23, 2017 02:35 PM (NWiLs)

80 When I do the brown thing pets aren't allowed near me.

Posted by: Concerned People's Front Splitter Chapter at November 23, 2017 02:38 PM (2X7pN)

81 #CatsOnTables

Since it would be cruel (albeit hilarious to YooToob) to cover the table with mousetraps...

...cover the table with sticky-notes, glue side up.

After a while, cats will either get the message...

...or be walking around covered with sticky notes (again, YooToob fodder).

Posted by: mindful webworker - the fake alternative at November 23, 2017 02:39 PM (ftdxp)

82 Wife is eyeing the black Friday ads. Told her it's racist. No shopping for whites on black Friday.

It's only fair homey.

... Will now be sleeping in the Jeep.

Posted by: Deplorable Redneck Bitter Clinger at November 23, 2017 02:40 PM (4KPJT)

83 Carol: Mouse traps on the table (set of course). It only takes a couple of times, does no real harm to the cat, and the cat will definitely remember. After that, the occasional unset trap will work just as well.

Posted by: Carpe Mish at November 23, 2017 02:40 PM (z8Keo)

84 Meremortal, no prosecutions, no peace! Good plan. Easier than mine.

My plan would be to take the top gossip in every North Korean town and city neighborhood, load them all on one day in a number of Boeing 777s and give them a limo to an individual food store. All over the US.

The ones from Pyongyang go to Whole Foods.

Give them $500 to shop with. Fly them back to North Korea, with the food in C-17s equipped with freezers, and give them the food. Cheaper than 3 CV(N)s and their battlegroups.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at November 23, 2017 02:41 PM (hyuyC)

85 OutOfTown Son with wife and baby and two dogs is at daughter's. We gotta get on with it.

Final pre-feast toast:

EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON!

Sometimes that reason is you made stupid choices.

Stay safe, stay sane, survive. Be calm and carry.

Posted by: mindful webworker - but not that one at November 23, 2017 02:42 PM (ftdxp)

86 Bear with Assymetrical Balls

Caltrops. Can a spike strip do the same work?

The horses around here don't stay on the roads as much as the cars do.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at November 23, 2017 02:45 PM (hyuyC)

87 76. Yep. We're having a blended thanksgiving, like last year.

Shashlik from me - they're doing a turkey, they say, but as many as they'll be feeding, I'm sure the rest of the clan will be bringing, as well. And PLENTY of the needful. Plenty.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Booking Agent, Aero Pinochet at November 23, 2017 02:45 PM (fA1SL)

88 Fake.

Posted by: Drunk Uncle at November 23, 2017 02:45 PM (ALaia)

89 Yep. We're having a blended thanksgiving, like last year.

Turkey through a straw? Ick.

Posted by: Insomniac - Nobody in Particular at November 23, 2017 02:47 PM (NWiLs)

90 89. Heh.....betcha we'll be eating turkey pho for the next month.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Booking Agent, Aero Pinochet at November 23, 2017 02:48 PM (fA1SL)

91 Only have to do my hair and get dressed.

Posted by: Infidel at November 23, 2017 02:35 PM (Ix4M6)

This is what I love about AoSHQ. I had absolutely no idea that you are a woman. Because it doesn't matter one way or the other.

[Unless you are a dude who does his hair...in which case...sorry!]

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at November 23, 2017 02:49 PM (wYseH)

92 "Howling II: Your Sister is a Werewolf" does not disappoint.

Well, maybe it disappointed Christopher Lee. From imdb:

"Philippe Mora, the film's director, has said that star Christopher Hall felt that fellow actors Reb Brown and Annie McEnroe were so bad in their parts that Lee was often off-set frequently in a way as if he were "wishing himself away" from being in the film."

Posted by: Goody Eris, She-Wolf of Plymouth Rock at November 23, 2017 02:50 PM (qJtVm)

93 Today, above all else, we celebrate something worthy of consuming rivers of bourbon!

Posted by: The Basted Hat at November 23, 2017 02:51 PM (itfg0)

94 Okay, so my first Thanksgiving dinner on my own is coming out great. The turkey is tasty. I've learned a couple of lessons, like a little less salt and use the pan drippings to moisten the cornbread dressing instead of assembling it ahead of time with chicken stock. So far, so good.

Posted by: no good deed at November 23, 2017 02:51 PM (eIQHF)

95 92. Anything with Christopher Lee is worth watching. The man never fails.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Booking Agent, Aero Pinochet at November 23, 2017 02:51 PM (fA1SL)

96 Happy Thanksgiving for 2017!

http://politicalhat.com/?p=14162

Posted by: The Political Hat at November 23, 2017 02:51 PM (itfg0)

97 "Howling II: Your Sister is a Werewolf" does not disappoint.

I'm partial to Howling III with the marsupial werewolf.

Posted by: no good deed at November 23, 2017 02:53 PM (eIQHF)

98 Cracker Barrel for 3, $45 yankee dollars. No laboring in galley nor scullery duty.

Posted by: Eromero at November 23, 2017 02:56 PM (zLDYs)

99 How many of our fathers would have left our lifeless body wherever it happened to land after an outburst like that ?

*Raises hand*

Would raise hand but dad took hand off one Thanksgiving when I pulled that shit.

Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Profoundly Unserious at November 23, 2017 02:56 PM (3BFzK)

100 "78 Poor North Koreans. I've long thought we should bomb the shit out of them.

With food. Tons of it, marked "Hello from President Trump and the United States of America!"

And lots of candy for the kids.
Posted by: Meremortal, no prosecutions, no peace!"

And in every parcel, one of those Liberator pistols from WW2.

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at November 23, 2017 02:57 PM (Ktb8D)

101 How many of our fathers would have left our lifeless body wherever it happened to land after an outburst like that ?
----
I had a plate of spaghetti thrown at me for giving the old man lip.

In my defense, he yelled "Are you gonna give me lip?! Are you??!?"

Posted by: Goody Eris, She-Wolf of Plymouth Rock at November 23, 2017 02:58 PM (qJtVm)

102 Yay, no good deed !
Congratulations !

Posted by: sock_rat_eez at November 23, 2017 02:59 PM (Ktb8D)

103
This is what I love about AoSHQ. I had
absolutely no idea that you are a woman. Because it doesn't matter one
way or the other.

[Unless you are a dude who does his hair...in which case...sorry!]

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at November 23, 2017 02:49 PM (wYseH)

Yep, an 'ette here.
Had I ever acted that way, my father would have beaten me within an inch of my life if mom didn't get to me first.

Posted by: Infidel at November 23, 2017 02:59 PM (Ix4M6)

104 Oh yeah, Three Stooges marathon is on, too. Better than NFL and more honest effort to entertain.

Posted by: Eromero at November 23, 2017 03:00 PM (zLDYs)

105 Happy Thanksgiving horde!

It's a quiet day. Just a few of us this year. Mom isn't doing well today and my uncle isn't well either. I'm just happy to be with them for another year.

Posted by: mpfs at November 23, 2017 03:01 PM (79p/O)

106 103. Heh.....my maternal grandmother was raised by her mother, from the old country.

Grandmother had seven kids. Every now and then she'd haul off and slap the taste out of a given kid's mouth and say, 'You know what you did. Thought you got away with it?' It worked and reinforced the idea of her omnipotence.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Booking Agent, Aero Pinochet at November 23, 2017 03:02 PM (fA1SL)

107 Time to put out the charcuterie tray. May not make it to dinner. Already had two naps.

Posted by: CrotchetyOldJarhead at November 23, 2017 03:02 PM (oLTNb)

108 I forgot the Cowboys are playing today, hope they lose

Posted by: Skip at November 23, 2017 03:03 PM (qcbvC)

109 106
My grandmother had 10 children and was one of 15 children.
She was 4 ft 10 inches and probably 110 lbs soaking wet but she put the fear of God in all of us.

I miss her.

Posted by: mpfs at November 23, 2017 03:05 PM (79p/O)

110 Does anyone know wahat Presdent Obama will have at him dinner? He deserves a great meal for all the goods things he did for the country !! We love you in Brattleboro Mr. Presdent and always will !!!!!!!!!!

Posted by: Mary Clogginstien from Brattleboro at November 23, 2017 03:05 PM (u54O2)

111 I hope the nfl has terrible ratings for the three (when did 3 come about?) games the ungrateful thugs play.

Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Profoundly Unserious at November 23, 2017 03:06 PM (3BFzK)

112 East Bound And Down Marathon. No NFL here.

Posted by: Drunk Uncle at November 23, 2017 03:06 PM (ALaia)

113 FO Mary.

Posted by: mpfs at November 23, 2017 03:06 PM (79p/O)

114 I'm partial to Howling III with the marsupial werewolf.
Posted by: no good deed at November 23, 2017 02:53 PM (eIQHF)

Hah! My step-brother had one of the main roles in that turd. I remember when I went to see it in the theater, the second and third reels mixed up and the movie made no sense at all.

Later when I saw it in order it still didn't make much sense. Step-bro's acting opportunities were pretty thin after that.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at November 23, 2017 03:06 PM (+0jcH)

115 54 I'm still trying to get my rescued cat, Lexi, to stop jumping& sitting on kitchen table. J. J. Sefton told me to have water bottle & spray her with it. It worked for a few days, but I have sprayed her 5x at 1x this am & she kept it up. She was not happy with me, but she still would not stop.

Spread some clingy plastic wrap out, then place duct tape strips, sticky side up, on and around the saran wrap.

Then ignore the cat.

If all goes well, cat jumps up, skitters on saran wrap, steps in duct tape, get more saran wrap static cling, etc.

Ignore cat.

Posted by: e at November 23, 2017 03:08 PM (axS/c)

116 Carpe Mish,
That sounds harsh. She was found on the street and is insecure. If I leave room for three minutes, even while she is sleeping, she wakes up and is with me in that short time.

Every time Apple does an update I have to look at October email from Christian on how to remove smart punctuation. I am having Error 500 messages again.
Thank you.

Posted by: Carol at November 23, 2017 03:08 PM (NKOy9)

117 MST3K 'Night of the Bloodbeast' starting now on YouTube

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards at November 23, 2017 03:08 PM (xJa6I)

118 I'm having a tasty Shephuskdacks today. That is a German Shepard stuffed with a Husky that has been stuffed with a Dachshund. All of them are tasty but the Dachshund is the best.

Posted by: Barak Obama at November 23, 2017 03:09 PM (3BFzK)

119 Guess I have put seeing the family for long enough. All of you morons and 'ettes have a great turkey day!

Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Profoundly Unserious at November 23, 2017 03:11 PM (3BFzK)

120 It's a quiet day. Just a few of us this year. Mom
isn't doing well today and my uncle isn't well either. I'm just happy to
be with them for another year.

Posted by: mpfs at November 23, 2017 03:01 PM (79p/O)
Hi, sweetie! Haven't seen you in a while. I'm sorry this is bittersweet for you and will keep your mom and uncle in my prayers. That said, it's lovely to see you and I send you love.

Posted by: Peaches at November 23, 2017 03:12 PM (14URa)

121 Meremortal,
We do not have a room without a new carpet to put her in. The two we could use, she has been accidentally locked in all night and and she tore hole in two year old dark blue carpet trying to dig door open.
I am having Error 500 messages.

Happy Thanksgiving to The Horde!

Posted by: Carol at November 23, 2017 03:13 PM (NKOy9)

122 David Axelrod, ex-adviser to former President Barack Obama, fired back on Thursday at President Trump's comments earlier in the day about the economy and military.

"Give it a rest, will you? Thanksgiving is about family, friends, the blessings of life. IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU!!!" Axelrod tweeted.

https://tinyurl.com/yb947nmr

Rail away, little man. Hold your breath until you turn blue. Maybe someone will pay attention to you.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at November 23, 2017 03:13 PM (+0jcH)

123 I do have a theory Mary isn't a troll, but a regular moron having a good laugh.
But if I'm wrong, Mary he is probably having Shepard, German that is.

Posted by: Skip at November 23, 2017 03:13 PM (qcbvC)

124 68 The only time my cats get on the table is when I am sitting there at the window in the rocking chair doing the brown thing.
Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at November 23, 2017 02:30 PM (mpXpK

Brown thing? What? You sit there and shit your pants?

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at November 23, 2017 03:14 PM (3/sUh)

125 Big cats rescue, a sanctuary in Florida, feeds their rescues whole raw turkeys every Thanksgiving.

Here's one with two tigers:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-HvTaYsH7Q

I'm a bit sick: I like watching cats crunch down their prey.

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at November 23, 2017 03:14 PM (/qEW2)

126 84,
"Meremortal, no prosecutions, no peace! Good plan. Easier than mine.

My plan would be to take the top gossip in every North Korean town
and city neighborhood, load them all on one day in a number of Boeing
777s and give them a limo to an individual food store. All over the US.

"

De-worming on the flight here.

Posted by: geoffb at November 23, 2017 03:15 PM (zOpu5)

127 Happy Thanksgiving to The Horde!

Posted by: Carol at November 23, 2017 03:13 PM (NKOy9)
Carol. And Happy Thanksgiving. But, vis a vis the cat? Let it do what it wants. It will anyway. You don't own the cat, you are the cat's staff. You main goal in life is to keep it comfortable and happy. They should really come with a warning sticker.

Posted by: Peaches at November 23, 2017 03:15 PM (14URa)

128 Brown thing? What? You sit there and shit your pants?
Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at November 23, 2017 03:14 PM (3/sUh)

Don't be critical. We'll all be there someday.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at November 23, 2017 03:15 PM (+0jcH)

129 Carol,
I was going to suggest the clear tape thing. Sheets of clear contact paper or packing tape upside down. Cats don't like that.

auscolpyr,
Happy Thanksgiving to you and your daughter.

Posted by: lin-duh at November 23, 2017 03:15 PM (kufk0)

130 124
68 The only time my cats get on the table is when I am sitting there at the window in the rocking chair doing the brown thing.

Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at November 23, 2017 02:30 PM (mpXpK

Brown thing? What? You sit there and shit your pants?

Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian at November 23, 2017 03:14 PM (3/sUh)

only after the second half-gallon.

Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at November 23, 2017 03:18 PM (mpXpK)

131 As a matter of fact I would rather be sitting there at the table doing the brown today than going over to mil's house. But if I didn't go I would be in the dog house big time.

Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at November 23, 2017 03:21 PM (mpXpK)

132 Our now 1 cat has been very good not getting on table, but her sister Sugar was constantly jumping up to the sink, we think she found something good once and figured it always would be there.
Miss my Sugar-lou

Posted by: Skip at November 23, 2017 03:21 PM (qcbvC)

133 As a matter of fact I would rather be sitting there
at the table doing the brown today than going over to mil's house. But
if I didn't go I would be in the dog house big time.

Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at November 23, 2017 03:21 PM (mpXpK)
Yeah, go, Vic. Way too much brown things in the doghouse. Have a blessed Thanksgiving and, if push comes to shove, fart at the dinner table. :-)

Posted by: Peaches at November 23, 2017 03:23 PM (14URa)

134 nood

Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at November 23, 2017 03:24 PM (mpXpK)

135 Peaches!
Sending you a big hug! What are you doing today?

Posted by: mpfs at November 23, 2017 03:24 PM (79p/O)

136 Alternatively, can you prove a cat tree, or window shelf for the cat to climb and stay out of the way? Maybe providing a high place for her to sit and watch is all she wants.

Posted by: e at November 23, 2017 03:25 PM (axS/c)

137 Was getting ready to put casseroles in oven, but stopped to check bird temp on the Weber. Bird is done 30-45 min early. Had some difficulty regulating temp on grill. Stayed around 350 instead of 325. Wanted to pull when breast temp was 150. Got up to 160.

Posted by: olddog in mo at November 23, 2017 03:28 PM (uo1Et)

138 Lin-duh,
I do not want to do anything that may scare her, i went into kitchen for 2 to 3 minutes, Lexi woke up from a sound sleep and was in hall to see where I was and if I would come back to living room or stay in kitchen.

I only went there for more ice for my water.

Thank you. I am writing all down for when she has been her longer,

Posted by: Carol at November 23, 2017 03:31 PM (NKOy9)

139 I do have a theory Mary isn't a troll, but a regular moron having a good laugh.
But if I'm wrong, Mary he is probably having Shepard, German that is.

Posted by: Skip at November 23, 2017 03:13 PM (qcbvC)

========

Maybe Mary's heart's in the right place, but I wish he'd up his game. There's more to satire than spelling errors. Obama's a turkey, and there's got to be some way of putting it better.

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at November 23, 2017 03:32 PM (/qEW2)

140 I thought brown thing meant pretending he's a UPS driver.

Posted by: Meremortal, no prosecutions, no peace! at November 23, 2017 03:33 PM (3myMJ)

141 "Maybe Mary's heart's in the right place, but I wish he'd up his game."

I think this is a lot harder than it looks. Just for starters, do you write stuff crazier than Maxine Watters says or not?

Posted by: Meremortal, no prosecutions, no peace! at November 23, 2017 03:37 PM (3myMJ)

142 Nood from Oregon Muse!

Posted by: NaCly Dog at November 23, 2017 03:38 PM (hyuyC)

143 My cat loves these spring like toys.
https://tinyurl.com/y8y7efxq

It was package of 8 or 10. But now we are left with two. O have to use flashlight to look under stove,etc with a thing to reach them with. If she loses one right away she knows where to point me.

I also bought her an ugly lime green tunnel likely & she loves playing with that. I cannot find the rest of the spring like toys, and have looked under everything this morning

Posted by: Carol at November 23, 2017 03:40 PM (NKOy9)

144 I think the "father and son" have a number of videos like this on YouTube.

This is staged, but it falls under the category of "fake but accurate". I have no doubt that there are scenes like this in real life that are not documented.

Posted by: rickl at November 23, 2017 03:43 PM (sdi6R)

145 Pulling a night shift. Since we've got a four-star across the street, we'll probably have a decent spread. Hopefully -- fingers crossed -- it'll be the most quiet boring night in the history of everything. Because I've got a headache and a ton of paperwork and admin stuff to knock out. Drafting up quarterly and annual awards for the minions.

Posted by: Arch Stanton at November 23, 2017 03:45 PM (MCbul)

146 Hi Vic,
how are you and your wife doing? Please tell your wife not to go shopping tomorrow. My brother's ex used to get to the stores at opening time & spent a fortune on my mother's Ccredit Card. It was a clear case of elder abuse. We should have had her arrested. One year she spent $3,000 on XMas Gifts on my late Mother's CC & they showed up here without even a card for her.

Posted by: Carol at November 23, 2017 03:49 PM (NKOy9)

147 Sending you a big hug! What are you doing today?

Posted by: mpfs at November 23, 2017 03:24 PM (79p/O)
A lot of nothing interspersed with Coors Light. Talked and texted with some of my loved ones what I left behind in CA. Wishing it was 90 degrees here, lol! Got some pork tenderloins in the oven that I might possibly be ruining but, worst case scenario, the gravy will be fab on egg noodles. :-)

Posted by: Peaches at November 23, 2017 03:53 PM (14URa)

148 >>>108 I forgot the Cowboys are playing today, hope they lose
Posted by: Skip at November 23, 2017 03:03 PM (qcbvC)

Nice holiday spirit!

Posted by: m at November 23, 2017 03:55 PM (V+b9T)

149 Hi Peaches!

Posted by: Carol at November 23, 2017 04:04 PM (NKOy9)

150 A BLESSED THANKSGIVING TO ALL THE HORDE!

Posted by: The Man from Athens at November 23, 2017 04:22 PM (QMwOT)

151 Cooked a pound of bacon first thing in theornong and ate it

Posted by: Sleepyhedz at November 23, 2017 05:02 PM (I9P5C)

152 Carol: It is a little harsh. It is also a solution. The cat will view it as harsh also, which is why it is effective. The single lasting effect will be that the cat won't get on the table. Cat will not hold it against you (the table, yes, the cat will no longer trust the table).

Posted by: Carpe Mish at November 23, 2017 05:36 PM (z8Keo)

153 My special needs adopted son is just like the one in the video, only mine is already bigger than me. I fear what I have in store over the next few years.

My only question is why the family in the video hasn't kicked the a-hole out of their house? He looks to be at least 18, and I'm sure he can find a suitable shopping cart and dempsy dumpster to call home.

Posted by: Jeff Powell at November 23, 2017 06:29 PM (y5/+7)

Processing 0.01, elapsed 0.0216 seconds.
14 queries taking 0.0083 seconds, 161 records returned.
Page size 84 kb.
Powered by Minx 0.8 beta.