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How About Some Toilet Humor Until The ONT!

toilet humor churchill.jpg

From @easygoer132

But keep it clean....

Posted by: CBD at 08:51 PM




Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 First ?

Posted by: Mordineus at October 19, 2017 08:50 PM (cYvz+)

2 Yeah... I don't think so...

Posted by: earnest Hemmingway at October 19, 2017 08:50 PM (Pb5Ed)

3 Getting my popcorn and a front row seat for this show...

Posted by: browndog at October 19, 2017 08:51 PM (H/4dd)

4 IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE POOPING ISN'T CLEAN!

Posted by: Ben Roethlisberger at October 19, 2017 08:52 PM (JyFLk)

5 Churchill would love Twitter

Posted by: Jean at October 19, 2017 08:52 PM (9TU00)

6 I think the last thread purged any gutter thoughts out Of system.

Posted by: Auscolpyr at October 19, 2017 08:52 PM (pzA2L)

7 Top 10 on the number 2 thread.

Posted by: Uncle Si at October 19, 2017 08:53 PM (WdLao)

8 And we know what kind of show it will be . . .

Posted by: 2009Refugee at October 19, 2017 08:53 PM (JyFLk)

9 But keep it clean....

Posted by: CBD at 08:51 PM

++++

Wait, wait; I know this one.

What did Charlie Brown say to his dildo?

Posted by: Anon Y. Mous at October 19, 2017 08:53 PM (pvjTE)

10 *But keep it clean."

Said Charlie Browns Dildo to the Horde.

Posted by: tbodie at October 19, 2017 08:54 PM (qQcQl)

11 Racist bitch on Tucker is racist.

Posted by: Mortimer - disappointed at October 19, 2017 08:54 PM (2wRtc)

12 But keep it clean....
---
Later...

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at October 19, 2017 08:54 PM (qJtVm)

13 My friends, we have much to fear with Donald Trump's privy in the White House.

Ow! My head.

Posted by: John McCain at October 19, 2017 08:54 PM (mcI77)

14

The Bidetist

Posted by: In Vino Veritits at October 19, 2017 08:55 PM (t3kPl)

15 Then there was the time on the French Riviera when Frank Sinatra introduced Ava Gardner, who remarked on the former prime minister's size, to which Churchill replied; "My dear, I've shit bigger things than you!"

Posted by: earnest Hemmingway at October 19, 2017 08:55 PM (Pb5Ed)

16 Any spillage from the last thread?

Posted by: fluffy at October 19, 2017 08:55 PM (cHbmY)

17 Lincoln liked to tell this one.

An American visited England shortly after we won our independence. His host placed a large portrait of George Washington in the privy. After a few days, with no comment from the American, the host finally asked him what he thought about the portrait being there. The American said he approved because, "There's nothing that will make an Englishman shit so quick as the sight of General Washington."

Posted by: JuJuBee, just generally being shamey at October 19, 2017 08:55 PM (2NqXo)

18 The last thread WASN'T toilet humor?

Posted by: Country Boy - 2017 GNAMM survivor at October 19, 2017 08:55 PM (i+fad)

19 This is all JJ's fault. All of it. He corrupted us.

Posted by: Apple Fritters While Rome Burns at October 19, 2017 08:56 PM (fA1SL)

20 Speaking of in the toilet, Cubs trail 3-0

Posted by: tu3031 at October 19, 2017 08:56 PM (O5Q3r)

21 Oh yeah, toilet humor is a big improvement from porn humor.

Posted by: rickl at October 19, 2017 08:56 PM (sdi6R)

22 Internet served this one:

A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question asked was: "Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?" The survey was a huge failure. In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant. In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant. In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant. In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant. In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant. In South America they didn't know what "please" meant. And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant.

Posted by: Jean at October 19, 2017 08:56 PM (9TU00)

23 If I were your husband, I would drink it!

Posted by: Just the Punchline at October 19, 2017 08:56 PM (AYOfh)

24 Is it Memorial Day, or something?

Posted by: San Franpsycho at October 19, 2017 08:56 PM (EZebt)

25 What the hell? We were just getting started!

Posted by: t-bird at October 19, 2017 08:57 PM (tIhIY)

26 The last thread WASN'T toilet humor?
Posted by: Country Boy - 2017 GNAMM survivor at October 19, 2017 08:55 PM (i+fad)

This is the AoSHQ, remember?

Posted by: tbodie at October 19, 2017 08:57 PM (qQcQl)

27 Churchill would love Twitter

Posted by: Jean at October 19, 2017 08:52 PM (9TU00)

Oscar Wilde too!

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at October 19, 2017 08:57 PM (wYseH)

28 When threads get over 1000, pixy requires a blood sacrifice.

Posted by: wooga at October 19, 2017 08:58 PM (etctz)

29 I'm all pooped out from the last thread.

Posted by: Professor Chaos aka gumdrop gorilla at October 19, 2017 08:58 PM (SNwMD)

30 Laughter is the best medicine.

Unless you have diarrhea...

Posted by: John McCain at October 19, 2017 08:59 PM (mcI77)

31 Posted by: Jean at October 19, 2017 08:56 PM (9TU00)

Argentines are really Italians, who speak Spanish, act like they were French, and wish they were British.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at October 19, 2017 08:59 PM (EZebt)

32 Ever wonder why poop is called stool.

Posted by: Andy Rooney at October 19, 2017 09:00 PM (pzA2L)

33 While staying in the White House in 1942, FDR rolled into Churchill's room, looked at a lump on the bedpan and asked what it was, to which Churchill replied "Old man, if you didn't address it as Eleanor, it must surely be the shit I just took!"

Posted by: earnest Hemmingway at October 19, 2017 09:00 PM (Pb5Ed)

34 Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary?

It runs in your genes.

Posted by: John McCain at October 19, 2017 09:00 PM (mcI77)

35
I am reasonably confident that no animals were abused, but I bailed out midstream.

Posted by: Skandia Recluse at October 19, 2017 09:01 PM (m9X4Y)

36 Solitary trees, if they grow at all, grow strong.

Moar churchill

Posted by: Jean at October 19, 2017 09:01 PM (9TU00)

37
You know, I must be being punished. I had to go out, and missed the fun in the last thread.

Well, at least I didn't get smote.

Posted by: publius, the Persistent Poperin Pear at October 19, 2017 09:01 PM (8O3HH)

38 CBD- will send a food report since a gracious "ETTE' has sent cherry wood smoked bacon to go with the corn fed, hormone free, no filler fatted calf burgers.
Wish you were here.

Posted by: Ben Had at October 19, 2017 09:01 PM (yhdMF)

39 I'm feeling flush.

Posted by: Professor Chaos aka gumdrop gorilla at October 19, 2017 09:02 PM (SNwMD)

40 It's Deja Vu all over again. This will not end well.

Posted by: chavez the hugo at October 19, 2017 09:02 PM (KP5rU)

41 I used to give a shit, but not any more.


So, so constipated.

Posted by: Bozo Conservative....outlaw in America at October 19, 2017 09:02 PM (S6Pax)

42 Kill me now.

Posted by: grammie winger - Cubs are gonna suck again at October 19, 2017 09:02 PM (T46cv)

43 What's brown and sounds like a bell?

Dung

Posted by: Apple Fritters While Rome Burns at October 19, 2017 09:02 PM (fA1SL)

44 If your American in the living room, what are you in the bathroom?

European.

Posted by: ALH at October 19, 2017 09:02 PM (S+3Ip)

45 Grand Slam, Dodgers 7-0. Kiki Hernandez

Posted by: tu3031 at October 19, 2017 09:02 PM (O5Q3r)

46 Did Ace have a complaint?

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at October 19, 2017 09:02 PM (tbOMB)

47
Dorothy Parker would probably be the Queen of Twitter.

Posted by: publius, the Persistent Poperin Pear at October 19, 2017 09:02 PM (8O3HH)

48 >>> Argentines are really Italians, who speak Spanish, act like they were French, and wish they were British.

Isn't there something in there about Germans? Its Argentina, after all.

Posted by: fluffy at October 19, 2017 09:03 PM (cHbmY)

49 Dorothy Parker would probably be the Queen of Twitter.
Posted by: publius, the Persistent Poperin Pear


Nope, she'd probably get banned.

Posted by: Bozo Conservative....outlaw in America at October 19, 2017 09:03 PM (S6Pax)

50 Sort of like LBJ

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at October 19, 2017 09:03 PM (IqV8l)

51 I remember reading a film review that began with 'A Night's Tale is based on Chaucer the way shit is based on steak,' and then things went downhill from there.

Posted by: Apple Fritters While Rome Burns at October 19, 2017 09:03 PM (fA1SL)

52 Oh dear, it is looking grim for the Cubbies.

And STFU Ron Darling.....lol...


Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt, knowing his Dodger skeerdness was justified for Cubs-Indians 2.0 at October 19, 2017 09:03 PM (8iiMU)

53 See ya's in April.

Posted by: grammie winger - Cubs are gonna suck again at October 19, 2017 09:03 PM (T46cv)

54 Hear about the constipated math student?


He worked it out with a pencil.

Posted by: Mortimer - disappointed at October 19, 2017 09:04 PM (2wRtc)

55 Oh geez....7 -0 dodgers

Posted by: Tami at October 19, 2017 09:04 PM (Enq6K)

56 Brain Haemorrhage Poop: (Also known as "Pop a vein in your forehead" poop) The kind where you strain so much to get it out that you practically have a stroke.

Posted by: John McCain at October 19, 2017 09:04 PM (mcI77)

57 I think I need a priv-acy seal on my bathroom door.

Posted by: Professor Chaos aka gumdrop gorilla at October 19, 2017 09:04 PM (SNwMD)

58
Did Ace have a complaint?
Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner


Portnoy did

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at October 19, 2017 09:04 PM (IqV8l)

59 >>> Did Ace have a complaint?

Same as Portnoy.

Posted by: fluffy at October 19, 2017 09:04 PM (cHbmY)

60 Can't be any worse than the brewers blowing the last two games to the cards in '82. 35years and counting

Posted by: Auscolpyr at October 19, 2017 09:04 PM (pzA2L)

61
I'm ashamed of myself -- I can't complain about the babes reading the trash tabloids, cause I've been reading about Prince Harry and Meghan Markle over at the Limey rags.

There's speculation that the Queen will make her the Duchess of Sussex when they tie the knot.

Drop the sus, I want to meet the Duchess of Sex.

Posted by: publius, the Persistent Poperin Pear at October 19, 2017 09:05 PM (8O3HH)

62
23 If I were your husband, I would drink it!
Posted by: Just the Punchline at October 19, 2017 08:56 PM (AYOfh)







But in the morning, I will be sober.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at October 19, 2017 09:05 PM (eXA4G)

63 Isn't there something in there about Germans? Its Argentina, after all.
Posted by: fluffy

Nein! I mean "no".

Posted by: a blond Argentinean at October 19, 2017 09:05 PM (I11+c)

64 45 Grand Slam, Dodgers 7-0. Kiki Hernandez
Posted by: tu3031 at October 19, 2017 09:02 PM (O5Q3r)


Yuck.

Posted by: rickl at October 19, 2017 09:05 PM (sdi6R)

65 Harrumph.

Posted by: fluffy at October 19, 2017 09:06 PM (cHbmY)

66 Isn't there something in there about Germans? Its Argentina, after all.
Posted by: fluffy at October 19, 2017 09:03 PM (cHbmY)

IIRC their military is Prussian-modeled.

Posted by: San Franpsycho at October 19, 2017 09:06 PM (EZebt)

67 Oh my gosh. Can they just invoke the slaughter rule?

Posted by: grammie winger - Cubs are gonna suck again at October 19, 2017 09:06 PM (T46cv)

68
Privy Seal is better than Groom of the Stool, I think.

Posted by: publius, the Persistent Poperin Pear at October 19, 2017 09:06 PM (8O3HH)

69 DODGERS !! Come on Yanks .. oh sorry..forgot where I was at.

Posted by: IndianaJuan at October 19, 2017 09:06 PM (xlESs)

70 Wish you were here.

Posted by: Ben Had at October 19, 2017 09:01 PM (yhdMF)

As do I.

If there is another (and I assume there will be) I will make it a priority.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at October 19, 2017 09:06 PM (wYseH)

71 >>> Argentines are really Italians, who speak Spanish, act like they were French, and wish they were British.

Isn't there something in there about Germans? Its Argentina, after all.

Posted by: fluffy at October 19, 2017 09:03 PM (cHbmY)
****************

shhhhhh

Posted by: Sieggy at October 19, 2017 09:06 PM (Kz9dH)

72 What do you call a incontinent vegan ?


A salad shooter.

Posted by: Mortimer - disappointed at October 19, 2017 09:07 PM (2wRtc)

73 LA is having its way with the Cubs like, like...like the Cubs are a slutty prom date!

Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt, knowing his Dodger skeerdness was justified at October 19, 2017 09:07 PM (8iiMU)

74 Do you want to hear a poop joke?

Never mind it's too corny.

Posted by: John McCain at October 19, 2017 09:07 PM (mcI77)

75 67
Oh my gosh. Can they just invoke the slaughter rule?

Posted by: grammie winger - Cubs are gonna suck again at October 19, 2017 09:06 PM (T46cv)

Lotta game left, grammie...ya never know.

Posted by: Tami at October 19, 2017 09:08 PM (Enq6K)

76 Wow. They got a guy out. Amazing.



Idiots.

Posted by: grammie winger - Cubs are gonna suck again at October 19, 2017 09:08 PM (T46cv)

77 74
Do you want to hear a poop joke?



Never mind it's too corny.

Posted by: John McCain at October 19, 2017 09:07 PM (mcI77)

That's just nutty.

Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt, knowing his Dodger skeerdness was justified at October 19, 2017 09:08 PM (8iiMU)

78 62. We're just negotiating the price.

Posted by: Apple Fritters While Rome Burns at October 19, 2017 09:08 PM (fA1SL)

79 Does one need to 'log' on to be in the swirling vortex of doom?

Posted by: AP of Teh SalonHot25! at October 19, 2017 09:08 PM (wf3RQ)

80 Get me out of here!

Posted by: Loo-tenant Churchill at October 19, 2017 09:09 PM (RXyIO)

81 I feel like Chinese food for dinner. Maybe a pupu platter.

Posted by: Professor Chaos aka gumdrop gorilla at October 19, 2017 09:09 PM (SNwMD)

82 52 Oh dear, it is looking grim for the Cubbies.

And STFU Ron Darling.....lol...


Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt, knowing his Dodger skeerdness was justified for Cubs-Indians 2.0 at October 19, 2017 09:03 PM (8iiMU)


Hush! Would you rather have Softball Girl?

At least Darling played this game.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at October 19, 2017 09:09 PM (YqDXo)

83 Keep.
It.
Clean.
?

Not sure if anyone here understands those words, in that order.
At least after that last thread.

well, maybe FS and grammie, maybe a few other 'ettes ...

g'night, Horde !

Posted by: sock_rat_eez, we are being gaslighted 24/7 at October 19, 2017 09:09 PM (z3Hmr)

84
Toilet Humor.

You guys know why turds are tapered?











So your butthole dont slam shut when your done.

Posted by: fixerupper at October 19, 2017 09:09 PM (vIjh1)

85 What is the technical term for frog excrement?

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at October 19, 2017 09:09 PM (tbOMB)

86 The joke is in your hand.

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at October 19, 2017 09:09 PM (nUkMr)

87

Bristol. Stool. Chart.

I dare ya...

Posted by: In Vino Veritits at October 19, 2017 09:09 PM (t3kPl)

88
66 Isn't there something in there about Germans? Its Argentina, after all.
Posted by: fluffy at October 19, 2017 09:03 PM (cHbmY)

IIRC their military is Prussian-modeled.
Posted by: San Franpsycho at October 19, 2017 09:06 PM (EZebt)






Just to be dickish, I'll point out that virtually EVERY modern military is Prussian-based. Mainly in the idea of a professional General Staff, specifically trained on staff-type duties.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at October 19, 2017 09:10 PM (eXA4G)

89 85 What is the technical term for frog excrement?
Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at October 19, 2017 09:09 PM (tbOMB)



Frederica Wilson.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at October 19, 2017 09:10 PM (mbhDw)

90 Researchers have determined that Stonehenge wasn't good for vegans.

I'm not sure what that means. Either a lot of meat was eaten or a lot of vegans. And I assume the researchers reached this conclusion by examining bones found at the site.

Perhaps I should have read more than just the headline.

Posted by: Skandia Recluse at October 19, 2017 09:10 PM (m9X4Y)

91 I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals

Posted by: Jean at October 19, 2017 09:10 PM (9TU00)

92 The joke is in your hand.
Posted by: Hairyback Guy

But nobody will hold it anymore.

Posted by: Harvey Weinstein at October 19, 2017 09:10 PM (I11+c)

93 Where's the head?

Posted by: John McCain-Naval Hero at October 19, 2017 09:11 PM (mcI77)

94 The game is still early.

There's still quite a long ways to get to 21-0!

(Cynical, defeatist, macabre humor of a former long-suffering Cub fan, who wants to postpone the "Wait 'til next year" mantra for another day.)


Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt, knowing his Dodger skeerdness was justified at October 19, 2017 09:11 PM (8iiMU)

95 I was going for toad stool, but that is also acceptable.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at October 19, 2017 09:11 PM (tbOMB)

96 Could you imagine Samuel Clemons, Winston Churchill, and Benjamin Franklin.....

as Posters at AOS?

/brain... explodes....

Posted by: Don Q. at October 19, 2017 09:11 PM (NgKpN)

97 >> But nobody will hold it anymore.

I'll always be here for ya, Harv.

Unless they take all your money away. Then fuck you.

Posted by: Lana Del Rey at October 19, 2017 09:11 PM (8O3HH)

98 88. That said, the Chileans do keep that Prussian thing going.

https://youtu.be/U3Kdic-Z2-4

Posted by: Apple Fritters While Rome Burns at October 19, 2017 09:11 PM (fA1SL)

99 Alimentary, my dear Watson.

Posted by: Insomniac - Getting Microaggressed on the Daily, Yo! at October 19, 2017 09:12 PM (NWiLs)

100 Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt, knowing his Dodger skeerdness was justified at October 19, 2017 09:11 PM (8iiMU)

HA!

Posted by: IndianaJuan at October 19, 2017 09:12 PM (xlESs)

101 No offense to Churchill fans, but he looks like someone who continually struggled with constipation, not that that would reflects badly on him.

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at October 19, 2017 09:13 PM (/qEW2)

102 I've been seeing ads for the new Winnie-the-Pooh movie. The little boy is just delightful. So sweet with a smile that lights up the world.

Posted by: Professor Chaos aka gumdrop gorilla at October 19, 2017 09:13 PM (SNwMD)

103
77 74
Do you want to hear a poop joke?



Never mind it's too corny.

Posted by: John McCain at October 19, 2017 09:07 PM (mcI77)

That's just nutty.

Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt, knowing his Dodger skeerdness was justified at October 19, 2017 09:08 PM (8iiMU)







*rolls eyes*

Y'all are taking this pun thing to extremes. I'm done with it.

So how many runs do the Dodgers have right now?

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at October 19, 2017 09:13 PM (eXA4G)

104 >>I like pigs. Dogs look up to us.

Redneck translation challenge:

MR pigs
MR not pigs
OSAR
LIB, MR pigs

Posted by: Lana Del Rey at October 19, 2017 09:13 PM (8O3HH)

105 HA!
Posted by: IndianaJuan


Ah ha!

Posted by: Bozo Conservative....outlaw in America at October 19, 2017 09:13 PM (S6Pax)

106 At least Darling played this game.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at October 19, 2017 09:09 PM (YqDXo)

Yeah, these guys are tolerable. I just took exception to Darlings 'LA slamming the door shut' type comment when it was 3-0....

Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt, knowing his Dodger skeerdness was justified at October 19, 2017 09:14 PM (8iiMU)

107 >>> Could you imagine Samuel Clemons, Winston Churchill, and Benjamin Franklin.....
as Posters at AOS?

Pffft!

Posted by: Thomas Jefferson at October 19, 2017 09:14 PM (cHbmY)

108 88. Here's a better Chilean Prussian march:

https://youtu.be/ApjgnL_dU4Y

Posted by: Apple Fritters While Rome Burns at October 19, 2017 09:15 PM (fA1SL)

109 Y'all are taking this pun thing to extremes. I'm done with it.

So how many runs do the Dodgers have right now?
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at October 19, 2017 09:13 PM (eXA4G)

Party pooper.

Posted by: Insomniac - Getting Microaggressed on the Daily, Yo! at October 19, 2017 09:15 PM (NWiLs)

110
104 >>I like pigs. Dogs look up to us.

Redneck translation challenge:

MR pigs
MR not pigs
OSAR
LIB, MR pigs

Posted by: Lana Del Rey at October 19, 2017 09:13 PM (8O3HH)





Heh. We always told that one a bit differently.

MR ducks
MR not
OSMR
CM wangs
LIB
MR ducks

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at October 19, 2017 09:15 PM (eXA4G)

111 OICMRDUCKS

Posted by: Just the Punchline at October 19, 2017 09:15 PM (AYOfh)

112 Gosh, I can't think of anything on the topic of poo. Incidentally, the question has been raised: am I on track to demolish an entire 3.5oz bag of crystallized ginger today? Maybe. Who can say for sure? Should this - purely hypothetical - possibility define me as a person? Is that fair? Is that who we are? Haven't we all, at one time or maybe many many times, or actually kind of often, monstered a whole bag of candied ginger like a shameless animal? And wouldn't we want to be shown tolerance and forbearance at such a time, and not judgement?

Did not Famous Person I Agree With say, "insert misattribution here- oh shit, is that a bunch of candied ginger?! Grawm nom nom *sounds of chewing and contented moans*"? And was it not posted over an inspirational background of a waterfall or rainbow or some shit like that?

And hey, let's just say that someone is currently feeing the first twinges of consequence for having gone through a bag of candied ginger like it's mytheir job. If that were the case, would that be grounds for denying such a person - an imaginary person, in this little gedankenexperiment - about 2/3 of a block of cheese? Is this not the land of the free?

Posted by: hogmartin at October 19, 2017 09:15 PM (y87Qq)

113 MR Ducks
MR not
OSAR CM Wangs
LIB MR Ducks

Posted by: Wtp at October 19, 2017 09:15 PM (WQfDg)

114 107 >>> Could you imagine Samuel Clemons, Winston Churchill, and Benjamin Franklin.....
as Posters at AOS?

Pffft!
Posted by: Thomas Jefferson at October 19, 2017 09:14 PM (cHbmY)

Can't see Jefferson sans Pants, drinking Value Right...

The others??? oh yeah...

Posted by: Don Q. at October 19, 2017 09:16 PM (NgKpN)

115 Hi!

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at October 19, 2017 09:16 PM (6FqZa)

116 Pffft!
Posted by: Thomas Jefferson at October 19, 2017 09:14 PM (cHbmY)



You and your butt boy Hamilton can bite moi.

Posted by: Aaron Burr at October 19, 2017 09:17 PM (AYOfh)

117 >>> I just took exception to Darlings 'LA slamming the door shut' type comment when it was 3-0....

Arrogant bastard. Guy thinks his shit isn't tapered.

Posted by: fluffy at October 19, 2017 09:17 PM (cHbmY)

118 Can't see Jefferson sans Pants, drinking Value Right...



The others??? oh yeah...

Posted by: Don Q. at October 19, 2017 09:16 PM (NgKpN)

Jefferson is probably more of an assless chaps (yes, redundant, I know) type of guy.
And, nice catch by that trolley dodger, dammit.

Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt, knowing his Dodger skeerdness was justified at October 19, 2017 09:17 PM (8iiMU)

119
I think, someone earlier, a few days passed, tried to imagine Thomas Paine on twitter.

Posted by: Skandia Recluse at October 19, 2017 09:18 PM (m9X4Y)

120 Drop the sus, I want to meet the Duchess of Sex.

*lights the Miley signal*

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at October 19, 2017 09:18 PM (6FqZa)

121
No question what Ben Franklin would be doing on the Internet.

He dug MILFs. Don't tell, don't swell, and they're grateful as hell.

Posted by: publius, the Persistent Poperin Pear at October 19, 2017 09:19 PM (8O3HH)

122 >>> am I on track to demolish an entire 3.5oz bag of crystallized ginger today?

Is that a lot? 8 oz would clear your sinuses pretty well.

Posted by: fluffy at October 19, 2017 09:19 PM (cHbmY)

123 109 Y'all are taking this pun thing to extremes. I'm done with it.

So how many runs do the Dodgers have right now?
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at October 19, 2017 09:13 PM (eXA4G)

Party pooper.
Posted by: Insomniac - Getting Microaggressed on the Daily, Yo! at October 19, 2017 09:15 PM (NWiLs)

Runs.

Posted by: pol hates everybody at October 19, 2017 09:20 PM (6U3DW)

124 Uh oh, Cubs down 7-0.

Posted by: Pete Seria at October 19, 2017 09:20 PM (lJW6d)

125 If that were the case, would that be grounds for
denying such a person - an imaginary person, in this little
gedankenexperiment - about 2/3 of a block of cheese?

Posted by: hogmartin at October 19, 2017 09:15 PM (y87Qq)

Cheese is one of the building blocks of life.

Seriously. Ask Watson and Crick. They identified it, along with the DNA molecule.

So the idea of denying...someone....cheese is just silly.

Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at October 19, 2017 09:21 PM (wYseH)

126 Turner gets a base hit. Because of course he does.

Posted by: grammie winger - Cubs are gonna suck again at October 19, 2017 09:21 PM (T46cv)

127 119


I think, someone earlier, a few days passed, tried to imagine Thomas Paine on twitter.





Posted by: Skandia Recluse at October 19, 2017 09:18 PM (m9X4Y)

That whole concept is fascinating (what the FF would say in the AoSHQ or on Twatter), but it would be so difficult! Yet, I think the Horde could make a fair pass at it....
And once again, the Cubbies are letting LA get to first base with no resistance.....



Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt, knowing his Dodger skeerdness was justified at October 19, 2017 09:22 PM (8iiMU)

128 Need a pooper scooper to remove some of these posts.

Posted by: Professor Chaos aka gumdrop gorilla at October 19, 2017 09:22 PM (SNwMD)

129 Here's the ugliest man on the face of the earth.

Posted by: grammie winger - Cubs are gonna suck again at October 19, 2017 09:22 PM (T46cv)

130 Why is a 6-0 Penn State #2 over a 7-0 Georgia at #3?

Posted by: Grump928(C) at October 19, 2017 09:22 PM (AYOfh)

131 Lasorda is 90. Wow.


Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt, knowing his Dodger skeerdness was justified at October 19, 2017 09:23 PM (8iiMU)

132 129. Grammie! We don't talk like that when he's around. Insomniac is very sensitive.

Posted by: Apple Fritters While Rome Burns at October 19, 2017 09:23 PM (fA1SL)

133 The fact, that in Mohammedan law every woman must belong to some man as his absolute property, either as a child, a wife, or a concubine, must delay the final extinction of slavery until the faith of Islam has ceased to be a great power among men.
-- Winston Churchill, 1899, "The River Wars"

Posted by: Islamic Rage Boy at October 19, 2017 09:24 PM (e8kgV)

134 Well, if things are slowing down, might as well use the loo.

Posted by: Professor Chaos aka gumdrop gorilla at October 19, 2017 09:24 PM (SNwMD)

135 Seriously. I'm going to run with scissors.

Posted by: grammie winger - Cubs are gonna suck again at October 19, 2017 09:24 PM (T46cv)

136 >> Lasorda is 90. Wow.

He ain't dead yet.

Posted by: Tommy Lasorda's ficus at October 19, 2017 09:24 PM (8O3HH)

137 Lackey. What an appropriate name for this pitcher.

Posted by: IndianaJuan at October 19, 2017 09:25 PM (xlESs)

138 The authors of Proverbs would love twitter, but I doubt their feed would be all that popular.

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at October 19, 2017 09:25 PM (/qEW2)

139 I always skip to my loo.

Posted by: Grump928(C) at October 19, 2017 09:26 PM (AYOfh)

140 i'm old enough to remember when i was a Dodger fan...

i hope the Yankies don't make the WS, because that will make me want to cheer for a team i despise just a little less than those NYC assholes.

Posted by: redc1c4 at October 19, 2017 09:26 PM (P8FeH)

141 >> Well, if things are slowing down, might as well use
>> the loo.

Skip to the loo, my darling.

Posted by: publius, the Persistent Poperin Pear at October 19, 2017 09:26 PM (8O3HH)

142 Ian Galt, at October 19, 2017 09:22 PM (8iiMU)

I was reading Paine's 'Common Sense' and suddenly was struck by the thought that 'this guy is a revolutionary,' and had to laugh. I was thinking revolutionary in the sense of Paris 1789 or Russia 1917, but then had to admit that yes, Paine was a revolutionary.

I thought that moment of clarity was amusing.

Posted by: Skandia Recluse at October 19, 2017 09:27 PM (m9X4Y)

143 I'm learning Korobeiniki on the piano. Tons of fun.

Posted by: Johnny at October 19, 2017 09:27 PM (kUotE)

144 >>skip to my loo.

Not funny.

Posted by: Starlet hiding in Uncle Harvey's loo at October 19, 2017 09:27 PM (8O3HH)

145 The fact, that in Mohammedan law every woman must belong to some man as his absolute property, either as a child, a wife, or a concubine, must delay the final extinction of slavery until the faith of Islam has ceased to be a great power among men.
-- Winston Churchill, 1899, "The River Wars"

Posted by: Islamic Rage Boy at October 19, 2017 09:24 PM (e8kgV)


========

Who does Linda Sarsour belong to? Can we all chip in and bribe the guy to shove a ball gag in her mouth?

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at October 19, 2017 09:27 PM (/qEW2)

146 My toilet humor is unmatched.

Posted by: Lena Dumbham at October 19, 2017 09:28 PM (Tyii7)

147 132 129. Grammie! We don't talk like that when he's around. Insomniac is very sensitive.
Posted by: Apple Fritters While Rome Burns at October 19, 2017 09:23 PM (fA1SL)

I've gotten used to my grotesque visage over the years.

Posted by: Insomniac - Getting Microaggressed on the Daily, Yo! at October 19, 2017 09:29 PM (NWiLs)

148 >> My toilet humor is unmatched.

You take the cake.

I mean seriously, take it, I don't want it anymore

Posted by: publius, the Persistent Poperin Pear at October 19, 2017 09:29 PM (8O3HH)

149 9-0 Dodgers

Posted by: tu3031 at October 19, 2017 09:29 PM (O5Q3r)

150 Good night nurse.

Posted by: grammie winger - Cubs are gonna suck again at October 19, 2017 09:29 PM (T46cv)

151
What is the technical term for frog excrement?
Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner

Frederica Wilson.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton


I find that insulting!

Posted by: A. Frogg at October 19, 2017 09:29 PM (IqV8l)

152 Lasorda is 90. Wow.




Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt, knowing his Dodger skeerdness was justified at October 19, 2017 09:23 PM (8iiMU)


Do NOT drink with Tommy Lasorda. That's how I got my DUI 15 years ago.

Posted by: Country Singer at October 19, 2017 09:30 PM (yzxic)

153 I'd love to see Hamilton Madison and John Jay let people know what they think of the idiots that want to remove anonymity from the internet.

Posted by: buzzion at October 19, 2017 09:30 PM (z/Ubi)

154 Oh My !! 21 might not be out of the question Galt ..

Posted by: IndianaJuan at October 19, 2017 09:30 PM (xlESs)

155 147. Heh....now, the rest of us are still working on it.

Posted by: Apple Fritters While Rome Burns at October 19, 2017 09:30 PM (fA1SL)

156
i hope the Yankies don't make the WS, because
that will make me want to cheer for a team i despise just a little less
than those NYC assholes.


Posted by: redc1c4 at October 19, 2017 09:26 PM (P8FeH)

I'm going with the NL team no matter who wins, because the DH is an abomination to the Game. And because I have a bet on the NL team with my AL friend.ugh 9-0
Cub's came back from ten runs behind once upon a time against the Phillies once. But, they lost that in the 10th, I think. Danged Mike Schmidt.


Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt, knowing his Dodger skeerdness was justified at October 19, 2017 09:30 PM (8iiMU)

157 Korobeinik (amazing improv)i:
https://youtu.be/0Z_LNgzc-e0

Posted by: Johnny at October 19, 2017 09:31 PM (kUotE)

158 re grotesque visage: I made the mistake of showering and washing my hair last night, and not this morning.

I could not do a damn thing with my hair all day. I looked like a bad anime character. Eventually I gave up and put a hat on.

Time to get a haircut at least on the sides and back, I think.

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at October 19, 2017 09:31 PM (6FqZa)

159 Wipe? Like with a cloth?

Posted by: a drunken , crazed old woman at October 19, 2017 09:31 PM (2wRtc)

160 Is that a lot? 8 oz would clear your sinuses pretty well.
Posted by: fluffy at October 19, 2017 09:19 PM (cHbmY)


Not a lot really, about ¼ pound. Just way more than most people eat in any six hour period. It's a little like picking up a bag of chips or gummi bears or something to snack on over the next few days and then at 9pm you reach in the bag and there's like a handful left.

Posted by: hogmartin at October 19, 2017 09:31 PM (y87Qq)

161 It's alimentary, my dear Watson.

Posted by: Sherlock Holmes at October 19, 2017 09:31 PM (Oj1RP)

162 The other Churchill joke in similar vein was when, as an old man, he was informed by a junior civil servant that the prime ministerial fly was low (pants zipper open):

"Dead birds don't fall out of nests."

Posted by: unsure if deplorable, moron at October 19, 2017 09:32 PM (azcrj)

163
I'd love to see Hamilton Madison and John Jay let people know what they think of the idiots that want to remove anonymity from the internet.
Posted by: buzzion at October 19, 2017 09:30 PM


Hamilton would give his answer by dancing.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at October 19, 2017 09:33 PM (IqV8l)

164 Also, this video fills me with joy:
https://youtu.be/otmqLeozrqk

Posted by: Johnny at October 19, 2017 09:33 PM (kUotE)

165 Heh.....I had a friend who 'discovered' sauerkraut and proceeded to eat a good pound's worth of the stuff in one sitting, despite my advising him, by word and gesture, against so ill-advised a course of action. Subsequent events proved the wisdom of my counsel, but too late.

Posted by: Apple Fritters While Rome Burns at October 19, 2017 09:33 PM (fA1SL)

166
Another Churchill-ism:

"An empty taxi arrived, and Atley stepped out."

Posted by: publius, the Persistent Poperin Pear at October 19, 2017 09:34 PM (8O3HH)

167 *Attlee.

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at October 19, 2017 09:34 PM (6FqZa)

168 So eternal kneeler & political activist, Marshawn Lynch, gets tossed from the game after he runs out from the sideline onto the field, and grabs and pushes a ref.

Remember: This is the type of player that Goodell believes is "entitled to his freedom of speech."

SMDH

Posted by: Carlos Danger at October 19, 2017 09:35 PM (ce4vQ)

169 I thought that moment of clarity was amusing.

Posted by: Skandia Recluse at October 19, 2017 09:27 PM (m9X4Y)

I should probably read "Common Sense".


I read the Federalist Papers a while back.

And recently just read "Brave New World". That was quite weird - not what I expected.I'm still waiting for Patrick Rothfuss' third book. Sigh.


Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt, knowing his Dodger skeerdness was justified at October 19, 2017 09:35 PM (8iiMU)

170 155 147. Heh....now, the rest of us are still working on it.
Posted by: Apple Fritters While Rome Burns at October 19, 2017 09:30 PM (fA1SL)

Projectile vomiting the first time around is normal.

Posted by: Insomniac - Getting Microaggressed on the Daily, Yo! at October 19, 2017 09:36 PM (NWiLs)

171 Subsequent events proved the wisdom of my counsel, but too late.
Posted by: Apple Fritters While Rome Burns at October 19, 2017 09:33 PM (fA1SL)


Sometimes you just have to let the toddler touch the stove to realize why it's ill-advised. Or eat the sauerkraut. Or hold an internal ginger vs. cheese Thunderdome.

Posted by: hogmartin at October 19, 2017 09:36 PM (y87Qq)

172 The NFL just doesn't exist for me anymore. Its white players should leave for their safety. Its black players should leave for their honour.

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at October 19, 2017 09:36 PM (6FqZa)

173 Take a shit and you're sitting on top of world.

Posted by: Deplorable Redneck Bitter Clinger at October 19, 2017 09:37 PM (MCEs2)

174 Ok, the path to victory has started.

1-9


Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt, knowing his Dodger skeerdness was justified at October 19, 2017 09:37 PM (8iiMU)

175 Well, there goes the no-hitter anyway.

Posted by: rickl at October 19, 2017 09:38 PM (sdi6R)

176 I'm still waiting for Patrick Rothfuss' third book

Rothfuss: ivorytowerlibrary.blogspot.com/2011/01/name-of-wind-by-patrick-rothfuss.html

Nice shirt.

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at October 19, 2017 09:38 PM (6FqZa)

177 Should be a riveting take me out to the ballgame in the 7th.

Posted by: IndianaJuan at October 19, 2017 09:39 PM (xlESs)

178 168 So eternal kneeler & political activist, Marshawn Lynch, gets tossed from the game after he runs out from the sideline onto the field, and grabs and pushes a ref.

Remember: This is the type of player that Goodell believes is "entitled to his freedom of speech."

SMDH
Posted by: Carlos Danger at October 19, 2017 09:35 PM (ce4vQ)

Expect more of the spoiled emotionally stunted children acting out as the season moves on. All too predictable.

Posted by: pol hates everybody at October 19, 2017 09:39 PM (6U3DW)

179 Another childhood ditty I remember:

Hasten Jason, fetch the basin
Whop plop
Too late, bring the mop

Posted by: publius, the Persistent Poperin Pear at October 19, 2017 09:39 PM (8O3HH)

180 I got most of the way through "Name Of The Wind" and then thought to myself - hey, this is just Mary Sue in a melodrama.

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at October 19, 2017 09:39 PM (6FqZa)

181 172: You're killing me, man. Honour. That's funny chit right there.

Posted by: chavez the hugo at October 19, 2017 09:40 PM (KP5rU)

182 171. Two foods enter, one man bleeds.

Posted by: Apple Fritters While Rome Burns at October 19, 2017 09:42 PM (fA1SL)

183 Nice shirt.

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at October 19, 2017 09:38 PM (6FqZa)

LOL.

Compared to Perv Weinstein, he's a Joe Mangionelli, or whatever his name is.....

Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt, knowing his Dodger skeerdness was justified at October 19, 2017 09:42 PM (8iiMU)

184 Everyone ignores mah posts!

Posted by: Lurker Who Feels Entitled at October 19, 2017 09:43 PM (kUotE)

185 chavez : those players did stand for the British anthem, so, why not.

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at October 19, 2017 09:43 PM (6FqZa)

186 *stomp feet*

Posted by: Lurker Who Feels Entitled at October 19, 2017 09:44 PM (kUotE)

187 What's this NFL that you are talking about?

Posted by: dantesed at October 19, 2017 09:45 PM (88xKn)

188 *throws cellphone, sulks*

Posted by: Lurker Who Feels Entitled at October 19, 2017 09:45 PM (kUotE)

189 185; maybe they should just move to jolly olde. they would make honourable limeys.

Posted by: chavez the hugo at October 19, 2017 09:46 PM (KP5rU)

190 180
I got most of the way through "Name Of The Wind" and then thought to myself - hey, this is just Mary Sue in a melodrama.

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at October 19, 2017 09:39 PM (6FqZa)

I enjoyed the two books, and appreciate his tight writing style, and the story so far.
The little novellette/thingy he wrote is interesting also. 100 pages or so with one character, and no dialogue. About the chick living under the University.



Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt, knowing his Dodger skeerdness was justified at October 19, 2017 09:47 PM (8iiMU)

191 >>*throws cellphone, sulks*
Posted by: Lurker Who Feels Entitled

Come up to my room. We'll talk. I'll make you a big star.

Bring lotion.

Posted by: Uncle Harvey at October 19, 2017 09:47 PM (8O3HH)

192 Apple Fritters While Rome Burns at October 19, 2017 09:33

I just found two cans of sauerkraut that is two years out of date. Is it safe to eat?

Posted by: Skandia Recluse at October 19, 2017 09:47 PM (m9X4Y)

193 >>> I just found two cans of sauerkraut that is two years out of date. Is it safe to eat?

You'll be able to spray paint the walls brown.

Posted by: fluffy at October 19, 2017 09:49 PM (cHbmY)

194 When your running straight to first
And your pants about to burst

Diarrhea boom boom
Diarrhea boom boom

When your sliding into second
and you need some disinfectant

Diarrhea boom boom
Diarrhea boom boom

Posted by: a drunken , crazed old woman at October 19, 2017 09:49 PM (2wRtc)

195 Snappy retort #137 If a person interrupts..When I ask for toilet paper you roll in..

Posted by: Voter Dude at October 19, 2017 09:49 PM (U3PcU)

196 It ain't ovah till it's ovah.

Posted by: Winston F*cking Churcill, getting bombed by V1s and V2s at October 19, 2017 09:49 PM (/qEW2)

197 Holy crap.

Was that a 3 up 3 down half inning?

The times, they are a changin' !!




Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt, knowing his Dodger skeerdness was justified at October 19, 2017 09:49 PM (8iiMU)

198 192: Let your colon be your guide.

Posted by: chavez the hugo at October 19, 2017 09:49 PM (KP5rU)

199 /I am not an old woman

Posted by: Mortimer - disappointed at October 19, 2017 09:50 PM (2wRtc)

200 As safe as 2 yr old circus peanut.

Posted by: dantesed at October 19, 2017 09:50 PM (88xKn)

201 Sealed ... ? How does one become 'sealed' on the privy? Wait ... a picture is forming ... I don't think I want to know.

Posted by: Dr_No at October 19, 2017 09:50 PM (imDUY)

202 I have a very large doe who used to wander thru my yard with her two young, yearling bucks usually once or twice weekly. So I figured, "hey why not mark my territory (#1 not #2) whenever possible at 05:00 to hopefully drive off these uninvited random varmint terrorists?"

No go. Now that doe bitch and her two buck bastards hang out in my yard every day like I'm their baby daddy. They're not even afraid of me. Screw your Bambi, I'm not your sugar daddy! On the bright side, mmm, venison.

Posted by: Fritz at October 19, 2017 09:51 PM (Kwhm/)

203 I just found two cans of sauerkraut that is two years out of date. Is it safe to eat?

Posted by: Skandia Recluse at October 19, 2017 09:47 PM (m9X4Y)

It's acidic enough that botulism shouldn't be a concern,

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon, survivor of GNAMM at October 19, 2017 09:51 PM (O848g)

204 The only think I hate more than the Yankees is that fvcking Galaxy Note commercial with a shitty music.

Hey! I tied my comment in with the poop talk!




Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt, knowing his Dodger skeerdness was justified at October 19, 2017 09:51 PM (8iiMU)

205 Whew! Talk about wax-ring poetic over toilet jokes!

Posted by: Rex B-san at October 19, 2017 09:51 PM (iGWj0)

206 191
Donch'a know: affimative action Blacks have inbred african american entitlement, but no honor.
Posted by: Unsure of current rules at October 19, 2017 09:47 PM (8PQua)


I saw something in the Wall Street Journal today where a black advocacy group at some university is pissed off that black immigrants from Africa and the Caribbean islands are getting college slots that they believe should rightly go to American blacks.

LOL. So American blacks are as xenophobic as American whites.

Posted by: rickl at October 19, 2017 09:52 PM (sdi6R)

207 I just found two cans of sauerkraut that is two years out of date. Is it safe to eat?


Sure.

Posted by: Lena Dumbham's Toilet at October 19, 2017 09:52 PM (Tyii7)

208 >> How does one become 'sealed' on the privy?

Some lard ass woman sued an airline for getting stuck on the vacuum toilet. She flushed while sitting on it and all the flab made a seal.

I heard a rumor she was eating cake at the time.

Posted by: publius, the Persistent Poperin Pear at October 19, 2017 09:52 PM (8O3HH)

209 @191 (with wide eyes) Really? Will teh Horde notice me? What do I have to do?

Posted by: Lurker Who Feels Entitled at October 19, 2017 09:52 PM (kUotE)

210 Sealed ... ? How does one become 'sealed' on the privy?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t4qeYj-elXY

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at October 19, 2017 09:53 PM (6FqZa)

211 I'm reading an article on Fox about a meeting of the College Republicans that got invaded by rabid leftists at a university in California. There's a video, of course, and it comes with all the usual shit.

A hapless administrator trying to calm things down instead of crushing the obvious disruptors.

Some pussy-ass dudes who've never been in a fight and some ugly chicks who are the actually the group's 'muscle' ranting about "safe spaces" and being "marginalized". One even scolded a Republican by saying "your life isn't on the line". Dangerous fucking Santa Cruz, man.

Some murderous-looking Republicans sitting in desks with quizzical looks, shocked that shit they see on the news is finally happening to them.

Every time I see this garbage, I think that if they feel unsafe and like their lives are in danger, maybe it's time to make it so. No sense crying over spilt milk. We can give these assholes something to cry about. I liked a comment from, I believe, Sefton the other day, where he stated that one day we're just going to have a series of purges and then agree to never speak of it again. All it takes at this point is the spark.

Also, one of the protestors said, in response to one of the Republicans, "well, communists aren't fucking racist". Somebody made a similar comment when I was in grad school, about how Castro solved severe racial tensions in Cuba.

This always amuses me. I wonder if mothers who had to watch Cambodian murderers bounce their babies off trees until death comforted themselves by thinking, "well, at least they're not doing it out of racial hatred!"

Leftists are the most mentally fucked up people on the planet. I swear.

Posted by: CPT11A at October 19, 2017 09:54 PM (YmXed)

212 Boyhood song to a western, tune
Stranded
Stuck on the toilet bowl
What do you do when your stranded
And ain't got a roll
What ever you do got the rest of your life
Be a man
Use your hand.

Posted by: Voter Dude at October 19, 2017 09:54 PM (U3PcU)

213 When your sliding into third
and you feel a slimy turd


Diarrhea boom boom
Diarrhea boom boom

Posted by: Mortimer - disappointed at October 19, 2017 09:56 PM (2wRtc)

214 how Castro solved severe racial tensions in Cuba

Free rice cookers and a cap to the back of the head.

Posted by: Zombie Fidel at October 19, 2017 09:56 PM (Tyii7)

215 198 192: Let your colon be your guide.
Posted by: chavez the hugo at October 19, 2017 09:49 PM (KP5rU)

Thst'll test your colon crapper dyke.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at October 19, 2017 09:56 PM (tbOMB)

216 >>>What do you do when your stranded

And ain't got a roll<<<

Only a greenhorn uses his hand. Corn is your friend.

Posted by: Fritz at October 19, 2017 09:58 PM (Kwhm/)

217 Whenever they say "Hugh Darvish", I think 'whirling dervish'....



and apparently, that is an Islamic thing, according to the intertubes...


Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt, knowing his Dodger skeerdness was justified at October 19, 2017 09:58 PM (8iiMU)

218
Thst'll test your colon crapper dyke.
Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at October 19, 2017 09:56 PM


Your colon will go : "Powell!"

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at October 19, 2017 09:58 PM (IqV8l)

219 Hey this is a shit thread, right?

Paul Ryan.

Thank you. Thank you.

Be sure and tip your waitress.

Posted by: Mortimer - disappointed at October 19, 2017 09:59 PM (2wRtc)

220 Feeling your pain grammie

Posted by: San Franpsycho at October 19, 2017 09:59 PM (EZebt)

221 The perversions of the left are worse than any writer could make up. Think about that. The left will stop at nothing when it comes to being evil.

Posted by: Eromero at October 19, 2017 10:00 PM (zLDYs)

222
Little Eddie Munster thinks he's a comedian. How cute.

Posted by: publius, the Persistent Poperin Pear at October 19, 2017 10:00 PM (8O3HH)

223 I just found two cans of sauerkraut that is two years out of date. Is it safe to eat?

Posted by: Skandia Recluse at October 19, 2017 09:47 PM (m9X4Y)


It's always a good idea to err on the side of safety with 'is it safe to eat', but canned sauerkraut has got to be safe as fookin' houses. What could possibly live in there?

It's like nam pla or surströmming. Anything that could both grow in that environment and also harm people would already be the dominant species. Go hog wild.

Posted by: hogmartin at October 19, 2017 10:00 PM (y87Qq)

224
No go. Now that doe bitch and her two buck
bastards hang out in my yard every day like I'm their baby daddy.
They're not even afraid of me. Screw your Bambi, I'm not your sugar
daddy! On the bright side, mmm, venison.


Posted by: Fritz at October 19, 2017 09:51 PM (Kwhm/)

Just saw a commercial for Abby's...venison sandwich coming Oct. 21st.

Posted by: Tami at October 19, 2017 10:01 PM (Enq6K)

225 So, how about those Yankees?

Posted by: yankeefifth at October 19, 2017 10:01 PM (vuY5x)

226 211
This always amuses me. I wonder if mothers who had to watch Cambodian murderers bounce their babies off trees until death comforted themselves by thinking, "well, at least they're not doing it out of racial hatred!"

Leftists are the most mentally fucked up people on the planet. I swear.
Posted by: CPT11A at October 19, 2017 09:54 PM (YmXed)


Murdering millions of people from ideological hatred is so much better than murdering millions of people from racial hatred.

Posted by: rickl at October 19, 2017 10:01 PM (sdi6R)

227 Mudbutt

Posted by: Mudbutt at October 19, 2017 10:01 PM (L+0De)

228 Posted by: Skandia Recluse at October 19, 2017 09:47 PM (m9X4Y)

How bulgy is the can?

Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That (Back from the Dead) at October 19, 2017 10:01 PM (12xou)

229 Oh sure.

Run this on the very day I had to have my car's radiator flushed.

Posted by: qdpsteve at October 19, 2017 10:02 PM (eMKNe)

230 Stepped away to do some work and the previous thread slowed down before it hit a grand. Kind of sad about that.

Posted by: Aetius451AD Work Laptop at October 19, 2017 10:02 PM (rb1zT)

231 So the Carolina qb is in trouble for missing a "required" press event. So the man can make them talk but not stand....got it.

Posted by: ramajama at October 19, 2017 10:03 PM (9fNWb)

232 @ 207- Is it out of date?
No. Sourkraut can't go out of date. It's already sour. If the cans ain't swoled up you can eat the contents.

Posted by: Eromero at October 19, 2017 10:03 PM (zLDYs)

233 How bulgy is the can?
Posted by: Bitter Clinger and All That (Back from the Dead) at October 19, 2017 10:01 PM (12xou)


Right? This guy knows what's up.

Posted by: W. J. Clinton at October 19, 2017 10:03 PM (y87Qq)

234 here's Macc Lads for the 'nettes -

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zzX5VLEhZH0

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at October 19, 2017 10:03 PM (6FqZa)

235 Murdering millions of people from ideological hatred is so much better than murdering millions of people from racial hatred.
Posted by: rickl at October 19, 2017 10:01 PM (sdi6R)

What about the Armenian Geonocide- which was kind of both?

Posted by: Aetius451AD Work Laptop at October 19, 2017 10:03 PM (rb1zT)

236
Just saw a commercial for Abby's...venison sandwich coming Oct. 21st.
Posted by: Tami at October 19, 2017 10:01 PM


That's not normal

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at October 19, 2017 10:03 PM (IqV8l)

237 Looking like a Yankees-Dodgers series.

YYYAAAAAAWWWWWWNNNNN!!!!!!

*checks the menu for hockey*

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Gentleman Drunkard at October 19, 2017 10:03 PM (554cb)

238 Posted by: Skandia Recluse at October 19, 2017 09:47 PM (m9X4Y)

How bulgy is the can?

Posted by: Bitter Clinger

---

The cans look good. Stored in a mildly coolish basement storage. I was in the mood for Reuben sandwich, but never got around to it.

Posted by: Skandia Recluse at October 19, 2017 10:04 PM (m9X4Y)

239 Bertram: will the commercial feature Ted Nugent??

Posted by: qdpsteve at October 19, 2017 10:04 PM (eMKNe)

240 I'm sealed on the Privy

Interesting.

Posted by: penguin with ice cream on his face at October 19, 2017 10:05 PM (HGzQX)

241 I just found two cans of sauerkraut that is two years out of date. Is it safe to eat?


If it smells good it is good.

Wait ...

Posted by: Grump928(C) at October 19, 2017 10:05 PM (AYOfh)

242 Yeah, it's funny, rickl, but leftists actually believe it.

Posted by: CPT11A at October 19, 2017 10:07 PM (YmXed)

243 If it smells good it is good.

Wait ...

Posted by: Grump928(C) at October 19, 2017 10:05 PM (AYOfh)

Found a peanut,
Found a peanut,
Neath the sofa last night...

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon, survivor of GNAMM at October 19, 2017 10:08 PM (O848g)

244 232 @ 207- Is it out of date?
No. Sourkraut can't go out of date. It's already sour. If the cans ain't swoled up you can eat the contents.
Posted by: Eromero at October 19, 2017 10:03 PM (zLDYs)


So you can tell when sauerkraut goes bad because it's sweet?

Posted by: rickl at October 19, 2017 10:08 PM (sdi6R)

245 Johnny the Fox Meets Jimmy the Weed; Thin Lizzy, Live and Dangerous. Generally not a huge fan of live albums, but this one is stellar. My other faves are GFR "Caught in the Act" and Kiss "Alive" (the first one, 1975). Also, Judas Priest, "Unleashed in the East."

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Gentleman Drunkard at October 19, 2017 10:09 PM (554cb)

246 I just found two cans of sauerkraut that is two years out of date. Is it safe to eat?


Salt and acid. Probably edible. Things like that that go out of date likely only suffer texture degradation, if the seal is still intact.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at October 19, 2017 10:10 PM (tbOMB)

247 So you can tell when sauerkraut goes bad because it's sweet?

--

Or it is supposed to be sweet and isn't?

Posted by: Skandia Recluse at October 19, 2017 10:10 PM (m9X4Y)

248 Kind of depends on the brand/recipe, but I don't expect sauerkraut to be sweet.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at October 19, 2017 10:13 PM (tbOMB)

249 Pooed

Posted by: Joe Biden at October 19, 2017 10:14 PM (iGWj0)

250
I had this idea that I wanted to learn how to make sauerkraut because it is an old time food preservation technique.

But the deer eat the baby cabbage. Deer, apparently, love cabbage.

and I'm lazy when a can at Walmart costs fifty cents, ok maybe 89 cents now.



Posted by: Skandia Recluse at October 19, 2017 10:15 PM (m9X4Y)

251 216
>>>What do you do when your stranded

And ain't got a roll<<<
Only a greenhorn uses his hand. Corn is your friend.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Pro Tip for Correct Order of Corncob Usage is:

(1) Use the brown cob first.

(2) Use the yellow cob next.

(3) Use the white one to see if you need to use the yellow one again ...

Posted by: Dr_No at October 19, 2017 10:15 PM (imDUY)

252 Realtalk, don't drink afterwards if you're the least bit worried about poisoning from canned food since the symptoms of botulism start 12-24 after ingestion and tend to be masked by a decent buzz or a hangover. Unless you have other complications, you'll probably walk away from a case of botulism as long as you get to the ER when you notice it, but it's hard to notice blurred vision, numb lips, nausea, and the like if you're buzzed.

Posted by: hogmartin at October 19, 2017 10:17 PM (y87Qq)

253
206 191
Donch'a know: affimative action Blacks have inbred african american entitlement, but no honor.
Posted by: Unsure of current rules at October 19, 2017 09:47 PM (8PQua)

I saw something in the Wall Street Journal today where a black advocacy group at some university is pissed off that black immigrants from Africa and the Caribbean islands are getting college slots that they believe should rightly go to American blacks.

LOL. So American blacks are as xenophobic as American whites.
Posted by: rick

USA blacks don't want the wrong type of blacks taking THEiR entitlements! It's a matter of honor!

Posted by: Obscure on the concept 'honor' at October 19, 2017 10:20 PM (fuTU3)

254 Hogmartin @ 252- Whoa! I ate sourkraut (canned by Mrs. E March 2015) earlier today and had vodka before I started reading the comments. Is I scrood? Stomach feels fine. Do I need to go to the ER? Stick my finger down my throat? Have another drink?

Posted by: Eromero at October 19, 2017 10:26 PM (zLDYs)

255 Dunno dude! I'm not a doctor or anything. Did she have some too? Did you get a good seal on the jar?

Posted by: hogmartin at October 19, 2017 10:32 PM (y87Qq)

256 Dorothy Parker would probably be the Queen of Twitter.
Posted by: publius, the Persistent Poperin Pear at October 19, 2017 09:02 PM (8O3HH)

She could be pithy with the book reviews.

"Tonstant Weader frowed up."

Posted by: JuJuBee, just generally being shamey at October 19, 2017 10:37 PM (2NqXo)

257 So, the Cubs mount an 11 run rally in the bottom of the Ninth?

Sure. Maybe? Anybody?

Posted by: Bozo Conservative....outlaw in America at October 19, 2017 11:07 PM (S6Pax)

258 Clapshot--oh sorry, wrong thread. Nevermind.

Posted by: Northerlurker, Still Lurking After All These Years. at October 19, 2017 11:44 PM (nBr1j)

259 What did Spock find in the toilet?

The Captain's Log!

Posted by: Prothonotary Warbler at October 20, 2017 12:51 AM (3YxFh)

260 Here's another Churchill bathroom quip:
Once when he was standing at a urinal alone in the Parliamentary loo, the Labour MP Clement Atlee walked up the the urinal right next to him. Churchill moved over a few spots and Atlee said, "What's wrong, Winston, I didn't know you were anti-social.
Churchill responded, "No, I just know that every time you socialists see something fairly large that works well you want to nationalize it."

Posted by: Jim Flimsy at October 20, 2017 01:22 AM (i/UP/)

Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at October 20, 2017 04:34 AM (mpXpK)

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