Saturday Afternoon Chess/Open Thread (Featuring Dress Pr0n) 07-15-2017

"New York, New York..."

Good afternoon morons and moronettes, and welcome to the Saturday Afternoon Chess/Open Thread, the only AoSHQ thread with content specifically for all of us chess nerds who pay homage in the temple of Caïssa, goddess of the chessboard. Also, dress pr0n. Each week, I pick out a few lovely, modest, conservative dresses for the 'ettes to admire and appraise. And, for those of you who aren't nerdly enough for chess, you can use this thread to talk about checkers, or other games, or politics, or whatever you wish, only please try to keep it civil. Nobody wants to get in the middle of a tomato fight on a Saturday afternoon.

Pic Note

3D printing is da bomb:

Created by architects Ian Flood and Chris Prosser, they’ve chosen an array of buildings from across the island. Their selections reflect the great history of New York; some pieces symbolize the early 1900s construction boom and subsequent skyscrapers, while others are more contemporary. The rook, for instance, is modeled after the circular Guggenheim Museum. Each creation has a striking amount of surface detail and is designed to fit the height and proportion of traditional chess set pieces.

They've even got a kickstarter project to fund it.

(h/t to the lurking moron ('ette?) who sent me this. You know who you are)

Problem 1 - Black To Play (515)

Hint: Black mates in 2

6k1/8/8/3P3q/6n1/5PPb/5P2/3Q1RK1 b - - 0 1

Problem 2 - Black To Play (516)

Hint: Black mates in 2

8/8/3k4/7q/3P2n1/5PP1/5P2/3Q1bK1 b - - 0 1

Problem 3 - White To Play (502)

Hint: White wins material

1q4k1/4pR2/pn2r1p1/6P1/8/P1P2Q2/KP5P/8 w - - 0 1

Problem 4 - White To Play (BWTC 45)

Hint: White mates in 4

2q1rk2/6bQ/p2pPppR/np6/3B4/2Pb1P2/P1P5/2KR4 w - - 0 1

Endgame of the Week (519)

White to play. This one is from an actual game (Capablanca-Lasker, 1914)

Hint: White can win even if he gives up his rook for the knight

1R6/k1nK4/1p6/1P6/8/8/8/8 w - - 0 1

Dress Pr0n For The 'Ettes

I've decided to devote this week's dress pr0n exclusively to Melania Trump, whose fashion sense is exquisite, and who looks gorgeous in pretty much anything she wears.

I really like what Melania did here. The magenta dress she chose is quite conservative as befits the Saudi culture she was visiting, but she did not go with any head covering. It was if she was telling them, I will accommodate your cultural sensibilities, but you must also accommodate ours. Nicely done.

Finally, a Melania montage:

___________

Solutions Update

Problem 1 - Black To Play

6k1/8/8/3P3q/6n1/5PPb/5P2/3Q1RK1 b - - 0 1

1...Bg2!

This sets up two threats: 2...Qh2+ and 2...Qh1+, depending on what White does. If he captures the bishop, then:

2.Kxg2 Qh2#

Or he can capture the knight:

2.fxg4 Qh1#

Either way, it's checkmate.

Problem 2 - Black To Play

8/8/3k4/7q/3P2n1/5PP1/5P2/3Q1bK1 b - - 0 1

As in the previous problem, 1...Bg2 wins, but it is a move slower:

1...Bg2
2.Kxg2 Qh2+
3.Kf1 Qxf2#

The other two solutions are mates in 2:

1...Qh3
2.fxg4 Qg2#

1...Qh2+
2.Kxf1 Qxf2#

Problem 3 - White To Play

1q4k1/4pR2/pn2r1p1/6P1/8/P1P2Q2/KP5P/8 w - - 0 1

1.Qh3

Of course the threat is 2.Qh7#

1...Kxf7

Forced.

2.Qh7+ Kf8
3.Qh8+ Kf7
4.Qxb8 wins the queen

Problem 4 - White To Play

2q1rk2/6bQ/p2pPppR/np6/3B4/2Pb1P2/P1P5/2KR4 w - - 0 1

White can force a mate in 4 starting with:

1.Bxf6!

Black has five credible replies to this move. 4 of them lead to quicker mates:

1...Bxf6 2.Qf7#
1...Qc7 2.Qh8+ Bxh8 3.Rxh8#
1...Re7 2.Qh8+ Bxh8 3.Rxh8#
1...Bxh6+ 2.Qxh6+ Kg8 3.Qg7#

And then, finally:

1...Nb3+

This move doesn't do much, other than simply delay the inevitable.

2.axb3 Qb7

Or 2...Bxh6+ 3.Qxh6+ Kg8 4.Qg7#

3.Qh8+ Bxh8
4.Rxh8# 1-0

Endgame of the Week

1R6/k1nK4/1p6/1P6/8/8/8/8 w - - 0 1

1.Ra8+!

Black does not have a lot of options, and none of them avoid the loss.

#1: 1... Nxa8 2. Kc8 Nc7 3. Kxc7 Ka8 4. Kxb6 Kb8 5. Ka6 Ka8 6. b6 Kb8 7. b7 winning
#2: 1... Kxa8 2. Kxc7 Ka7 3. Kc6 Ka8 4. Kxb6 etc. winning

1...Kb7

Black avoids the obvious captures.

2.Ra7+!

White can still afford to trade his rook for the Black knight.

2...Kxa7

Forced.

3.Kxc7 Ka8
4.Kxb6 Kb8
5.Ka6 Ka8
6.b6 Kb8
7.b7 and the pawn will queen.

Hope to see you all next week!

___________

Note: that cryptic line of letters and numbers you see underneath each board diagram is a representation of the position in what is known as "Forsyth-Edwards Notation", or F.E.N. It's actually readable by humans. Most computer applications nowadays can read FEN, so those of you who may want to study the position, you can copy the line of FEN and paste into your chess app and it should automatically recreate the position on its display board. Or, Windows users can just "triple click" on it and the entire line will be highlighted so you can copy and past it into your chess app.

___________

So that about wraps it up for this week. Chess thread tips, suggestions, bribes, rumors, threats, and insults may be sent to my yahoo address: OregonMuse little-a-in-a-circle yahoo dott com.

Posted by: OregonMuse at 05:02 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 st ?

Posted by: Off the reservation at July 15, 2017 05:04 PM (vWMNq)

2 I giggle like a maniac just thinking that we no longer have Obama over us. Trump is good people.

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at July 15, 2017 05:05 PM (/qEW2)

3 I'd do her, but I'm a giver.

Posted by: Puddin Head at July 15, 2017 05:05 PM (vV/gB)

4 Should there be a giant ape climbing one of those chess pieces?

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at July 15, 2017 05:06 PM (IqV8l)

5 Pancetta, burrata, prosciutto, capocolla. They're nothing to be frightened of, rubes.

Posted by: David Brooks at July 15, 2017 05:06 PM (PXj2C)

6 That's a very clever chess set. The kings are Freedom Tower, the queens are the Empire State Building, the bishops are the Chrysler Building, the knights are the Flatiron Building, and the rooks are the Guggenheim Museum. But what are the pawns?

Posted by: rickl at July 15, 2017 05:06 PM (sdi6R)

7 2 I giggle like a maniac just thinking that we no longer have Obama over us. Trump is good people.
Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at July 15, 2017 05:05 PM (/qEW2)

Amen.

Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader at July 15, 2017 05:06 PM (5n8Qj)

8 But what are the pawns?

Hillary-Bollards, I think.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at July 15, 2017 05:08 PM (PXj2C)

9 The pawns should have been scary homeless people on that NYC chess set.

Posted by: Jack Sock at July 15, 2017 05:09 PM (IDPbH)

10 ...But what are the pawns?

Posted by: rickl at July 15, 2017 05:06 PM (sdi6R)

Taxpayers.

Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX

Posted by: Jim at July 15, 2017 05:09 PM (v5iqM)

11 Should there be a giant ape climbing one of those chess pieces?

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at July 15, 2017 05:06 PM (IqV8l)

Yeah, and some little biplanes, too,

Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader at July 15, 2017 05:10 PM (5n8Qj)

12 That Flapper dress ain't so bad.

Posted by: Jack Sock at July 15, 2017 05:11 PM (IDPbH)

13 That Flapper dress ain't so bad.
Posted by: Jack Sock at July 15, 2017 05:11 PM (IDPbH)

Pfft. Mao would never have worn a sack like that.

Posted by: Hillary! 2016, Who Will Never Be President of the United States at July 15, 2017 05:13 PM (PXj2C)

14 Might be thefirst chess set I wouldn't want

Posted by: Skip at July 15, 2017 05:14 PM (9g/6M)

15 That Flapper dress ain't so bad.
Posted by: Jack Sock at July 15, 2017 05:11 PM (IDPbH)

I have zero fashion sense and usually only notice the woman in the dress, but that is one nice dress and I know one girl I'd like to drape it on.
But we broke up.

Posted by: JoeF. at July 15, 2017 05:15 PM (7uYFy)

16 Might be thefirst chess set I wouldn't want
Posted by: Skip at July 15, 2017 05:14 PM (9g/6M)

You hate New York City that much?

Posted by: JoeF. at July 15, 2017 05:15 PM (7uYFy)

17 For Problem 2 I get:

1. ... Qh2+
2. Kxf1 Qxf2#

Posted by: rickl at July 15, 2017 05:16 PM (sdi6R)

18 I love that magenta dress, total coverage yet form-fitting.

She's worn so many outstanding ensembles but if I had to pick favorites it would be her powder blue inaugural suit and the sexy D&G Sicilian widow outfit at the Vatican.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at July 15, 2017 05:19 PM (QGoUX)

19 Still looking at Anna's Normandy photo links, but saw one also this week I saved for this thread.
A live chess set game from the 1920's
http://tinyurl.com/yaqwdo5h

Posted by: Skip at July 15, 2017 05:19 PM (9g/6M)

20 That Saudi soldier following the Donald and Melania in that photo from Saudi Arabia means business.

Posted by: JoeF. at July 15, 2017 05:20 PM (7uYFy)

21
But what are the pawns?

New Jersey

Posted by: Deplorable Male Logic at July 15, 2017 05:20 PM (lKyWE)

22 NOT A HELICOPTER PARENT:

Oregon woman arrested for towing kids in a wagon behind her car

http://preview.tinyurl.com/y7byc9wn

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at July 15, 2017 05:22 PM (oVJmc)

23 Melania is the most beautiful woman on the planet.

She walks the earth like she's doing it a favor.

Posted by: 1921 C DRUM at July 15, 2017 05:23 PM (h7sWp)

24
oh boy this is hilarious!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wF5o4nOqwv4

Posted by: Soothsayer -- Fake Commenter at July 15, 2017 05:23 PM (IDvUO)

25 As a Philadelphia fan yes.

Posted by: Skip at July 15, 2017 05:24 PM (9g/6M)

26 I've decided to devote this week's dress pr0n exclusively to Melania Trump

It's so nice to have a really attractive First Lady and not a let's all pretend the scowling Patrick Ewing look a like so is beautiful one any more. Of course it's also nice to have a president who isn't an America hating commie too.

Posted by: TheQuietMan at July 15, 2017 05:24 PM (auHtY)

27 I looked at the link, and the pawns are brownstones. Clever chess set, but I'll always prefer the standard Staunton.

Posted by: rickl at July 15, 2017 05:24 PM (sdi6R)

28 1. ... Qh2+
2. Kxf1 Qxf2#
Posted by: rickl at July 15, 2017 05:16 PM (sdi6R)

That's one way. Look for another.

Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader at July 15, 2017 05:24 PM (5n8Qj)

29 Thanks for the dresses! She is gorgeous. I love the first white fringe dress best, but they are all excellent.

And I love that chess set!!
Nicely done.

Posted by: LASue at July 15, 2017 05:25 PM (Mjus2)

30
that vid is awesome!

Posted by: Soothsayer -- Fake Commenter at July 15, 2017 05:25 PM (IDvUO)

31
I'm guessing the second photo Melinia at the WHCA was taken the night when her husband was insulted so badly by Obama that he decided to run for president

Posted by: Deplorable Male Logic at July 15, 2017 05:25 PM (lKyWE)

32 That's one way. Look for another.

Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader at July 15, 2017 05:24 PM (5n8Qj)

How many?

Posted by: Off the reservation at July 15, 2017 05:26 PM (vWMNq)

33
Oregon woman arrested for towing kids in a wagon behind her car

http://preview.tinyurl.com/y7byc9wn
Posted by: Mr. Peebles at July 15, 2017 05:22 PM (oVJmc)
---
She sounds fun! She'd be the kind of mom who'd steal a cop car and take the kiddies on a wild ride around the city with the sirens wailing and the lights flashing, a Marlborough hanging off her lower lip and an open can of Schlitz betwixt her Daisy Duke'd thighs.

"Faster, Mommy, faster!"

"Hang on kids -- let's see how fast this puppy can go!"

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at July 15, 2017 05:28 PM (QGoUX)

34 Problem 1

... B at H3 to G2.

doesn't matter Q H2 mate.

Very nice set of problems and pictures, OM. Good work.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at July 15, 2017 05:29 PM (hyuyC)

35 #2 have it in 3 moves looking to cut it down 1

Posted by: Skip at July 15, 2017 05:29 PM (9g/6M)

36 I guess one could make a chess set out of any favorite subject.

Posted by: Jack Sock at July 15, 2017 05:29 PM (IDPbH)

37 A first lady without a penis......

Luxury!

Posted by: 1921 C DRUM at July 15, 2017 05:29 PM (h7sWp)

38 For problem 1 I propose:

... Bg2
KxB Qh2#

if white's response is PxN instead, the response is Qh1#.

No matter what white does, he can't put black's king in check, improve his defenses or get his king away from the Q# that follows.

Or at least that's what it seems like to me.

Posted by: HTL at July 15, 2017 05:30 PM (zl60v)

39 28 1. ... Qh2+
2. Kxf1 Qxf2#
Posted by: rickl at July 15, 2017 05:16 PM (sdi6R)

That's one way. Look for another.
Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader at July 15, 2017 05:24 PM (5n8Qj)

1. ... Qh3 and White can't stop mate on g2.

For Problem 1, I'm thinking 1. ... Bxf1. If 2. Qxf1, then Qh2#.

I still haven't figured out what to do if Kxf1 or fxg4. In the second case, if Black plays Qh3, White has Qf3.

Posted by: rickl at July 15, 2017 05:31 PM (sdi6R)

40 Oh it is two on #2

Posted by: Skip at July 15, 2017 05:32 PM (9g/6M)

41 38 For problem 1 I propose:

... Bg2
KxB Qh2#

if white's response is PxN instead, the response is Qh1#.

No matter what white does, he can't put black's king in check, improve his defenses or get his king away from the Q# that follows.

Or at least that's what it seems like to me.
Posted by: HTL at July 15, 2017 05:30 PM (zl60v)

I think you're right.

Posted by: rickl at July 15, 2017 05:34 PM (sdi6R)

42 Thanks for the dresses! She is gorgeous. I love the first white fringe dress best, but they are all excellent.

And I love that chess set!!
Nicely done.
Posted by: LASue at July 15, 2017 05:25 PM (Mjus2)

And here we have a FLOTUS who is smart and beautiful and fashionable and what do we get from the fashion magazines?
Crickets.
I'm guessing if Vogue put her on the cover, irate ShitLibs would cancel their subscriptions. Or that's what they think....

Posted by: JoeF. at July 15, 2017 05:34 PM (7uYFy)

43 23. 1921 C DRUM

Um, no. There are others.

But she is a welcome change from the recent past.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at July 15, 2017 05:35 PM (hyuyC)

44 I recently had an idea for a Chess variant. Have no idea if it's been done before. Double-blind chess, where neither player can see the other's pieces until they are, say, 2-3 squares away. Each player has his own board, and then an umpire runs the third board with all of the pieces. When a piece moves into detection range, he places it on the appropriate player's chess board. Pawns therefore become your scouts (maybe with the ability to see only 2 squares out), while major pieces like bishops, knights and rooks can see 3 squares. And perhaps the queen sees four. The thing that has always bothered me about chess is that it basically comes down to memorizing beginnings and being able to sort through game positions in your head based on games you remember...this would knock the stuffing out of that right quick.

Posted by: HTL at July 15, 2017 05:38 PM (zl60v)

45 That's one way. Look for another.

Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader at July 15, 2017 05:24 PM (5n8Qj)

How many?
Posted by: Off the reservation at July 15, 2017 05:26 PM (vWMNq)

More than one.

Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader at July 15, 2017 05:38 PM (5n8Qj)

46 oh boy this is hilarious!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wF5o4nOqwv4

Posted by: Soothsayer -- Fake Commenter at July 15, 2017 05:23 PM (IDvUO)

That is freaking funny. CNN will have to get all of their Secret Squirrels out to find out who did it

Posted by: TheQuietMan at July 15, 2017 05:39 PM (auHtY)

47 Problem 3:
Q-R3 KxR (anything else and white responds Q-R7#)
Q-R7 K-K1
Q-N8 K-Q2
QxQ and we can stop there...

Posted by: Tex Lovera at July 15, 2017 05:39 PM (hhDDz)

48 FEC rejects Stalinist Ellen Weintraub's proposal to regulate online news sites, but I'm sure she'll be onto some other scheme without missing a beat:

http://preview.tinyurl.com/yb6rjzht

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at July 15, 2017 05:39 PM (oVJmc)

49 HTL - Your looking for a war game with miniatures not a chess game

Posted by: Skip at July 15, 2017 05:40 PM (9g/6M)

50 The different ways the media treat Michelle and Melania is the textbook definition of gaslighting.

Posted by: rickl at July 15, 2017 05:41 PM (sdi6R)

51 Endgame:

1. Ra8+ Nxa8
2. Kc8 Nc7
3. Kxc7

this should win, even if I don't see every move.

Posted by: NaCly Dog at July 15, 2017 05:43 PM (hyuyC)

52
The different ways the media treat Michelle and Melania is the textbook definition of gaslighting.
Posted by: rickl at July 15, 2017 05:41 PM (sdi6R)

I'd bet by this point in her husbands presidency Michelle had already been on the cover of every fashion magazine

Posted by: Deplorable Male Logic at July 15, 2017 05:43 PM (lKyWE)

53 That is freaking funny. CNN will have to get all of their Secret Squirrels out to find out who did it

Posted by: TheQuietMan at July 15, 2017 05:39 PM (auHtY)

Heh. They're getting a lot better with those memes.

Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader at July 15, 2017 05:44 PM (5n8Qj)

54 HTL - Your looking for a war game with miniatures not a chess game.

Posted by: Skip at July 15, 2017 05:40 PM (9g/6M)

Actually it came from a 4x strategy game that I play, but yes. It takes a little bit of a more realistic world and overlays it onto the extremely abstracted world of chess. Which game, I confess, never appealed to me all that much. I was a pretty good rated player, but my heart just wasn't in it.

Posted by: HTL at July 15, 2017 05:44 PM (zl60v)

55 I love the white flapper dress. I would sprain something if I tried to walk in those heels. I don't know how she does it.

Posted by: Aunt Luna at July 15, 2017 05:45 PM (Zd2ZF)

56 The different ways the media treat Michelle and Melania is the textbook definition of gaslighting.
Posted by: rickl at July 15, 2017 05:41 PM (sdi6R)

True, and you just know that part of the reason that they don't make a fuss about Melania is that it would displease Obama, Michelle and probably Hillary.
Btw, if Hillary won, Vogue would be raving about her Mao suits....

Posted by: JoeF. at July 15, 2017 05:46 PM (7uYFy)

57 I guess one could make a chess set out of any favorite subject.
Posted by: Jack Sock at July 15, 2017 05:29 PMMoron memes?

Posted by: Duncanthrax at July 15, 2017 05:47 PM (DMUuz)

58 Problem 4:
1) BxP BxB (or BxR)
2) Q-B7#
or if
1)... R-K2 (or Q-B2)
2) Q-R8+ BxQ (forced)
3)RxB#
or if
1)... QxP
2) QxB#
or if
1)... RxP
2) QxB+ K-K1
3) R-R8#

(Yeah I use the old notation. Get offa my board.)

Posted by: Tex Lovera at July 15, 2017 05:48 PM (hhDDz)

59 True, and you just know that part of the reason that they don't make a fuss about Melania is that it would displease Obama, Michelle and probably Hillary.

Btw, if Hillary won, Vogue would be raving about her Mao suits....
Posted by: JoeF. at July 15, 2017 05:46 PM (7uYFy)

I liked that one dress Hillary wore that looked like a giant oven mitt.

Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader at July 15, 2017 05:48 PM (5n8Qj)

60 I guess one could make a chess set out of any favorite subject.
Posted by: Jack Sock at July 15, 2017 05:29 PM

Moron memes?

Posted by: Duncanthrax at July 15, 2017 05:47 PM (DMUuz)

OM already did a shot glass version a few months ago. Longbow = black, crossbow = white?

Posted by: Mitch McConnell at July 15, 2017 05:49 PM (/qEW2)

61 Off flipper sock.

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at July 15, 2017 05:50 PM (/qEW2)

62 Problem 4.

1. Bxf6 seems to lead to a forced mate but I keep finding new lines.

Posted by: Off the reservation at July 15, 2017 05:50 PM (vWMNq)

63 Very nice Melania dress coverage, OM.

I was going to suggest on the blog that an Ette offer to do a weekly or daily or however many post on Melania couture and news. Some Ette should do it.

Posted by: L, Elle at July 15, 2017 05:51 PM (dhqL5)

64 I guess one could make a chess set out of any favorite subject.

Posted by: Jack Sock at July 15, 2017 05:29 PM (IDPbH)

...Roast Turkey g2
Hamburger x Roast Turkey Corn on the Cob h2#

Posted by: HTL at July 15, 2017 05:52 PM (zl60v)

65 60
I guess one could make a chess set out of any favorite subject.

Posted by: Jack Sock at July 15, 2017 05:29 PM

Moron memes?

Posted by: Duncanthrax at July 15, 2017 05:47 PM (DMUuz)

Oh-oh...

Posted by: The Chicken at July 15, 2017 05:52 PM (XoldI)

66 I guess one could make a chess set out of any favorite subject.

How about Italian deli meats?

Posted by: David Brooks at July 15, 2017 05:53 PM (PXj2C)

67

"Faster, Mommy, faster!"

"Hang on kids -- let's see how fast this puppy can go!"
Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at July 15, 2017 05:28 PM (QGoUX)

Hah, That almost sounds like the voice of experience.

It does remind me of the days before cupholders and DUI laws were invented. My parents didn't swipe cop cars but they always had a a beer between their legs and a carton of smokes with them on our road trips.

One time we all flew into a small West Texas town and rented a car to attend a cousin's pre-wedding party at their ranch. The car was a normal looking sedan but it turned out to be an ex-cop car with a siren! Daddy decided we'd be the hit of the party if we drove onto the ranch with the siren running, but all the help ran away and hid when they heard it, so that made us less popular.

Excellent dress pron as always. Melania is beautiful and graceful, and she manages to wear a variety of interesting looks that are all stunning on her. Many if not most women, especially as we age, have to find a a couple of looks that work for us and stick to them, which can get kind of boring.

Posted by: stace at July 15, 2017 05:53 PM (B7u3j)

68 Posted by: Tex Lovera at July 15, 2017 05:48 PM (hhDDz)

I found all those but there are a few others ... most trivial ... for example:

1. ... Nb3+
2. axb3 ...

Posted by: Off the reservation at July 15, 2017 05:53 PM (vWMNq)

69 15 for 2, 15 for 4, a double run for 12 and nobs for 13.

Posted by: Muldoon at July 15, 2017 05:54 PM (wPiJc)

70 Someone should do a Trump VS CNN meme using footage from Gladiator--especially where he decapitates the other gladiator in the ring--Tigress of Gaul?

Posted by: JoeF. at July 15, 2017 05:54 PM (7uYFy)

71 For Problem 4, I can find two ways to mate in 3:

1. Bxf6 Qc7
2. Qh8+ Bxh8
3. Rxh8#

1. Bxf6 Rxe6
2. Qxg7+ Ke8
3. Rh8#

Am I missing a better first move for Black?

Posted by: rickl at July 15, 2017 05:56 PM (sdi6R)

72 Here are some unusual chess sets:

https://www.chess.com/article/view/the-10-weirdest-chess-sets

I like the glow-in-the-dark set. I would once have said "We can still play after lights out at the Camps!" but we don't seem to make those jokes any more. Wonder what changed.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at July 15, 2017 05:57 PM (QGoUX)

73 Hah, That almost sounds like the voice of experience.
---
My mom would have insisted that we buckle up first.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at July 15, 2017 05:58 PM (QGoUX)

74 I'd bet by this point in her husbands presidency Michelle had already been on the cover of every fashion magazine

Yeesh, but true! Couldn't escape that broad's mug for the first two years, at least.

And *just lately* not having to see JEF's fugliness everywhere all the time.

Posted by: JQ Flyover at July 15, 2017 05:58 PM (5muuD)

75 Problem 1:

... Bg2

Problem 2:

... Qh2+

Problem 3:

Qh3

Problem 4:

Bxf6

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at July 15, 2017 05:58 PM (rZ+mb)

76 51 Endgame:

1. Ra8+ Nxa8
2. Kc8 Nc7
3. Kxc7

this should win, even if I don't see every move.
Posted by: NaCly Dog at July 15, 2017 05:43 PM (hyuyC)

Not so sure. Black has options I think to keep the opposition between the Kings.,,

Posted by: Tex Lovera at July 15, 2017 06:00 PM (hhDDz)

77 Am I missing a better first move for Black?

Posted by: rickl at July 15, 2017 05:56 PM (sdi6R)

I don't know about "better" but there are at least a couple more "different" mates ... and at least one stupid time-wasting move.

Posted by: Off the reservation at July 15, 2017 06:00 PM (vWMNq)

78 >>>I liked that one dress Hillary wore that looked like a giant oven mitt.

Most Rev'd Katharine Jefferts-Schori, ret. (Episcopal Church) in her Oven-Mitt mitre:

http://www.thinkinghousewife.com/wp/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/mitt.jpg

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at July 15, 2017 06:02 PM (/qEW2)

79 HTL...

Tough to make it work. Are pieces allowed to move thru "fog of war" squares? Rook from A1 to A8 if the player can't "see" A5? What if there's a piece there? Forced to take it? Allowed to "stop" early if being on A5 is worse than being on A2-A4?

Posted by: mikeski at July 15, 2017 06:05 PM (02uMU)

80 A bit of a note for those nerdy morons - there's a Horde guild on the World of Warcraft Hellscream server. We have toons ranging from level 14 to 110. If you want to join up, post if you'll be on and what character name you're running. We can get you invited to the guild pretty fast.

Been fun doing old dungeons and chatting online while shooting/hitting monsters.

Posted by: Inspector Cussword at July 15, 2017 06:06 PM (c1VpD)

81 I like the NY skyscraper chess set except for how short the knights and rooks are. I'm guessing their heights are to scale relative the other buildings, but they are barely taller than the pawns. Better if they were something like 50% taller.

Posted by: Anon Y. Mous at July 15, 2017 06:08 PM (pvjTE)

82 Oh, and if you haven't tried it World of Warcraft before, there's a free trial up to level 20 so you can see if you enjoy the game.

Posted by: Inspector Cussword at July 15, 2017 06:08 PM (c1VpD)

83 I don't care for that #3 Melania dress. She looks fine in it of course, because model, looks good in anything. But I still don't like that knot like thing at the waistline.

Posted by: PaleRider at July 15, 2017 06:09 PM (8qFZP)

84 72 Here are some unusual chess sets:

https://www.chess.com/article/view/the-10-weirdest-chess-sets

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at July 15, 2017 05:57 PM (QGoUX)

It would be impossible to do post-game analysis with the cookie set.

Posted by: rickl at July 15, 2017 06:09 PM (sdi6R)

85 If we made a chess set out of aos memes what would represent the King and Queen?

Posted by: Jack Sock at July 15, 2017 06:10 PM (IDPbH)

86 http://www.thinkinghousewife.com/wp/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/mitt.jpg

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at July 15, 2017 06:02 PM (/qEW2)

Ha! I remember that one! And I'll bet she had no freaking clue how ridiculous she looked.

Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader at July 15, 2017 06:10 PM (5n8Qj)

87 The light blue inaugural dress is still the gold standard for me....

Posted by: 1921 C DRUM at July 15, 2017 06:12 PM (h7sWp)

88 The pawns would definitely be Ewoks.

Posted by: Jack Sock at July 15, 2017 06:12 PM (IDPbH)

89 85: The queen would be empress Alex (on a stool) but I don't know what would be the king. I think Ace would be a knight.

Posted by: PaleRider at July 15, 2017 06:12 PM (8qFZP)

90 Endgame:

1) Kc8 Nxb5
2) Rb7+ Ka6
3) Kb8

4) and then something happens ...

5) Mate!

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at July 15, 2017 06:13 PM (rZ+mb)

91 The Knights would be a tank with one of the tracks off.

Posted by: Jack Sock at July 15, 2017 06:13 PM (IDPbH)

92 Katharine Jefferts-Schori looks like the bishop in a stage parody of a church.

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at July 15, 2017 06:14 PM (6FqZa)

93 I don't care for that #3 Melania dress. She looks fine in it of course, because model, looks good in anything. But I still don't like that knot like thing at the waistline.
---

Agreed. I think Melania has a unique fashion sense-- maybe uniquely Eastern European fashion model, as opposed to just "model" or "rich woman. "

Posted by: shibumi at July 15, 2017 06:14 PM (aT+Bx)

94 81 I like the NY skyscraper chess set except for how short the knights and rooks are. I'm guessing their heights are to scale relative the other buildings, but they are barely taller than the pawns. Better if they were something like 50% taller.

Posted by: Anon Y. Mous at July 15, 2017 06:08 PM (pvjTE)

Actually, I think the kings, queens, and bishops are too tall. They look way taller than normal chess pieces relative to the size of the board.

But if you made them shorter, the bases would be smaller than the other pieces, which would look weird.

Posted by: rickl at July 15, 2017 06:15 PM (sdi6R)

95 Katharine Jefferts-Schori looks like the bishop in a stage parody of a church.
Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at July 15, 2017 06:14 PM (6FqZa)

Well, many say that the Episcopalian Church is, in fact, a stage parody of a church, so you're right.

Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader at July 15, 2017 06:15 PM (5n8Qj)

96 If the rooks aren't Barrels, I'm not buying it.

Bishops could be cobs, with banhammers.

Posted by: mikeski at July 15, 2017 06:16 PM (02uMU)

97 Posted by: mikeski at July 15, 2017 06:16 PM (02uMU)

Barrels = Rooks

Perfect!

Posted by: Jack Sock at July 15, 2017 06:17 PM (IDPbH)

98 Maybe its the fashion model thing, but Melania always seems to nail the mood of the event she is attending. If that makes sense. She always seems to be dressed perfectly. Even the hair is always changing.

Damn did we dodge a bullet. After 8 years of boob belts, and a potential 4-8 years of pantsuits, its like a gift from the gods.

Posted by: Berserker- Dragonheads Division at July 15, 2017 06:18 PM (aMlLZ)

99 HTL...

Tough to make it work. Are pieces allowed to move thru "fog of war" squares? Rook from A1 to A8 if the player can't "see" A5? What if there's a piece there? Forced to take it? Allowed to "stop" early if being on A5 is worse than being on A2-A4?

Posted by: mikeski at July 15, 2017 06:05 PM (02uMU)

Good point. I think there would be five possible solutions:

01. Let the move stop on the last legal square (i.e. if you run into another piece in the course of your move, you either stop right in front of it or take it, dealer's choice.

02. The umpire says "you have attempted an illegal move, please try again with the same piece".

03. The umpires says "you have attempted an illegal move, please try again".

04. The umpire says "you have attempted an illegal move. Better luck next move."

05. The visibility is not by range, but rather by squares along the pieces' movement paths.

A sixth solution, not practical because I think it is too open to abuse, would be to allow visibility not just for the movement squares, but also for the squares adjacent to the attempted movement square. Which would lead to attempted probing moves that you expect to fail, but that would reveal adjacent enemy pieces in the process.

Posted by: HTL at July 15, 2017 06:19 PM (zl60v)

100 I really don't like that New York Skyscraper chess set. The defining feature of the NY skyline was the Twin Towers ... and that pathetic "Freedom Tower" is a piss-poor replacement. Like it or not I don't think you can have any New York Skyscraper anythings without some reference to the Twin Towers.

I really hated how the media went totally nuts after 9/11 and tried pretending that the Trade Center was never there - remember how they wouldn't show any movies or pictures with the Twin Towers in them ... I still can't believe anyone actually thought up some hair-brained, retarded idea like that.

Anyway, that's my 2 cents on New York skyscraper pieces.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at July 15, 2017 06:20 PM (rZ+mb)

101 Fact - In Russian Chess rules ( before 1917) it is accessible to have your Knights or Queen knock off your own King. After that all pieces must be equal in size and pawns rule.

Posted by: Skip at July 15, 2017 06:21 PM (9g/6M)

102 101 Fact - In Russian Chess rules ( before 1917) it is accessible to have your Knights or Queen knock off your own King. After that all pieces must be equal in size and pawns rule.
Posted by: Skip at July 15, 2017 06:21 PM (9g/6M)

And the winner has to make borscht for the loser.

Posted by: Insomniac at July 15, 2017 06:22 PM (0mRoj)

103 3D printing is the bomb, especially for rapid prototyping.

I am waiting for the machine that will allow me to print a VW bug engine, but until then I think there are really exciting uses for the technology

http://preview.tinyurl.com/khnayhn

Posted by: Kindltot at July 15, 2017 06:26 PM (mkDpn)

104 Not one of OM's pics but I recently saw a pic of Melania in a boob belt outfit. And even on her it was not an attractive outfit IMO.

Posted by: PaleRider at July 15, 2017 06:26 PM (8qFZP)

105 104 Not one of OM's pics but I recently saw a pic of Melania in a boob belt outfit. And even on her it was not an attractive outfit IMO.
Posted by: PaleRider at July 15, 2017 06:26 PM (8qFZP)

It's not a good look for anyone.

Posted by: Insomniac at July 15, 2017 06:27 PM (0mRoj)

106 The thing about chess pieces that doesn't make sense is what the hell the rooks are doing there. Everything else is a person that can actually move but the rooks are moving stone structures? That makes no sense, at all. And not only do the stone structures move, but they have more mobility than any of the people pieces, save the queen.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at July 15, 2017 06:27 PM (rZ+mb)

107 I'd bet by this point in her husbands presidency Michelle had already been on the cover of every fashion magazine

Posted by: Deplorable Male Logic at July 15, 2017 05:43 PM (lKyWE)

Melania probably achieved that by the time mooche pulled her first grift.

Posted by: Berserker- Dragonheads Division at July 15, 2017 06:28 PM (aMlLZ)

108 106 The thing about chess pieces that doesn't make sense is what the hell the rooks are doing there. Everything else is a person that can actually move but the rooks are moving stone structures? That makes no sense, at all. And not only do the stone structures move, but they have more mobility than any of the people pieces, save the queen.
Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at July 15, 2017 06:27 PM (rZ+mb)

Think of them as siege towers.

Posted by: Insomniac at July 15, 2017 06:29 PM (0mRoj)

109 89 85: The queen would be empress Alex (on a stool) but I don't know what would be the king. I think Ace would be a knight.
Posted by: PaleRider at July 15, 2017 06:12 PM (8qFZP)

Ace would have to be the king, right? Alex on a stepstool is perfect for a queen, and since Ewoks are short, Ace would have to be on a stool too. There. Problem solved.

This is starting to come together.

Bishops: Cobs with banhammers
Rooks: Barrels
Knights: Puppehs and kittehs!
Pawns: ?

The board would be gray and white squares, for the gray boxes.

Once we get the Moron Cookbook published, maybe we could commission the Franklin Mint to produce Moron Chess.

Posted by: rickl at July 15, 2017 06:29 PM (sdi6R)

110 Battlechess computer game the Rook would turn into a stone monster with a hammer and smash the opposing piece.

Posted by: Skip at July 15, 2017 06:29 PM (9g/6M)

111 Posted by: rickl at July 15, 2017 06:29 PM (sdi6R)

Pawns will be morons wearing hockey helmets.

Posted by: Insomniac at July 15, 2017 06:30 PM (0mRoj)

112 Think of them as siege towers.

Posted by: Insomniac at July 15, 2017 06:29 PM (0mRoj)

That would make sense, kind of ... but they're not. But even siege towers wouldn't seem to fit in with the rest of the pieces, their being all people. I wonder what the rooks were, originally.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at July 15, 2017 06:31 PM (rZ+mb)

113 I really don't like that New York Skyscraper chess set. The defining feature of the NY skyline was the Twin Towers ... and that pathetic "Freedom Tower" is a piss-poor replacement. Like it or not I don't think you can have any New York Skyscraper anythings without some reference to the Twin Towers.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at July 15, 2017 06:20 PM (rZ+mb)

I like the Freedom Tower design, although I wish it had been a bit taller and the spire a bit shorter. A much more interesting design than the old WTC.

However, an iconic building that is definitely missing from that chess set is 40 Wall Street, a/k/a The Trump Building. He didn't build it, he bought it. But it's taller than anything else he owns in NYC, and shows up in almost every movie about New York because of it's classic architectural lines at the top. Kind of a cross between the Empire State Building and the Chrysler Building.

The other building that I think is missing is the Pan Am/Met Life building, which would have done well for the rooks.

Posted by: HTL at July 15, 2017 06:32 PM (zl60v)

114 Pawns could be sharks, right? With frickin' laser beams!

Posted by: JQ Flyover at July 15, 2017 06:33 PM (5muuD)

115 Aha! The rooks were originally chariots in the Indian game.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chaturanga

Posted by: rickl at July 15, 2017 06:34 PM (sdi6R)

116 Damn did we dodge a bullet. After 8 years of boob belts, and a potential 4-8 years of pantsuits, its like a gift from the gods.
Posted by: Berserker- Dragonheads Division at July 15, 2017 06:18 PM (aMlLZ)
----
Deam ex Machina

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at July 15, 2017 06:34 PM (QGoUX)

117 The chess set could have been cooler with a contemporary skyline of NY vs old NY buildings

Posted by: josephistan at July 15, 2017 06:34 PM (ANIFC)

118 The other building that I think is missing is the Pan Am/Met Life building, which would have done well for the rooks.

Posted by: HTL at July 15, 2017 06:32 PM (zl60v)

Agreed. That building probably showed up in as many movies as the Empire State building and more than the Chrysler building.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at July 15, 2017 06:34 PM (rZ+mb)

119 pawns are barbells.

for... GAINZZZ!

Posted by: shibumi at July 15, 2017 06:34 PM (aT+Bx)

120 Or maybe, "Dayyyyum ex Machina"

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at July 15, 2017 06:35 PM (QGoUX)

121 46: That is hysterical!!

Posted by: LASue at July 15, 2017 06:37 PM (Mjus2)

122 Aha! The rooks were originally chariots in the Indian game.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chaturanga

Posted by: rickl at July 15, 2017 06:34 PM (sdi6R)

Now, that makes sense. I think a better adaptation would have been to make the chariots archers.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at July 15, 2017 06:38 PM (rZ+mb)

123 "Someone should do a Trump VS CNN meme using footage from Gladiator-"

Are you not entertained!

Posted by: Ignoramus at July 15, 2017 06:39 PM (pV/54)

124 46: That is hysterical!!
--

Alex Jones: I don't like them putting chemicals in the water. It makes frogs gay!

hahahahhahaha

Posted by: shibumi at July 15, 2017 06:40 PM (aT+Bx)

125 http://www.thinkinghousewife.com/wp/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/mitt.jpg
---
Wait -- this is a real thing?

The rainbow before the Cross?

She looks like a priestess officiating at Willie Wonka's and the Candyman's wedding.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, She-Wolf of the 'Ettes 'Ettes at July 15, 2017 06:42 PM (QGoUX)

126 So Melanie=Magenta dress=Nice Nips

Amirite. Saudi's must have loved it.

Posted by: Cannibal Robert 'evolving' at July 15, 2017 06:44 PM (qdeLs)

127 114 Pawns could be sharks, right? With frickin' laser beams!
Posted by: JQ Flyover at July 15, 2017 06:33 PM (5muuD)

I like that!

Posted by: rickl at July 15, 2017 06:45 PM (sdi6R)

128 It's almost as if First Lady, Melania, does not have a penis and testicles.

Posted by: Dirk Diggler at July 15, 2017 06:47 PM (DZsvp)

129
Alex Jones: I don't like them putting chemicals in the water. It makes frogs gay!

hahahahhahaha
Posted by: shibumi at July 15, 2017 06:40 PM (aT+Bx)

I know it's the queers
They're in it with the aliens
They're building landing strips
For gay Martians!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=71PNZH1OaW0

Posted by: josephistan at July 15, 2017 06:47 PM (ANIFC)

130 And yet they persist in droning on about how glamorous Michelle Obama is.

Posted by: Northernlurker, Phillips screwdriver of the gods at July 15, 2017 06:48 PM (hJrjt)

131 solutions up

Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader at July 15, 2017 06:50 PM (5n8Qj)

132
I love how Pepe the frog was in the front line of warriors.

Posted by: CNN at July 15, 2017 06:51 PM (IDvUO)

133 And yet they persist in droning on about how glamorous Michelle Obama is.

Ikr? *inserts a puking emoji*

Posted by: JQ Flyover at July 15, 2017 06:54 PM (5muuD)

134 OT/ you ever too tired to get coffee? I'm having an early evening crash.. want to walk down to Main St. coffee shop.. but my body just wants to lie down.

Posted by: Serious Cat at July 15, 2017 06:55 PM (pH35d)

135 HTL,

It sounds like you're trying to invent the game of Kriegspiel:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kriegspiel_(chess)

Each player sees only his own pieces. The umpire keeps track of the position on a third board, announces checks and captures, and prevents players from making illegal moves such as moving into check or moving through a square occupied by an enemy piece.

Posted by: bof at July 15, 2017 06:55 PM (bNftD)

136 This probably got willowed on the pet thread, and has nothing to do with chess (except that my cousin and I burned many midnight hours also playing chess) but some of the morons asked for me to post this story.

**

I was 19 yo. I had a cousin who was the same age and we pretty much grew up together since our mothers werevalways close but we now lived several miles apart. We would try to chase girls together, camp, or whatever else. At that time it was very hard to find a job, and we were both trying to go to college.

One night, we couldn't think of anything to do, but we could buy some cheap beer with the little money we had. He lived near a reservoir that had a small boat ramp and a parking lot. We decided to just park, drink some beer, and shoot the bull.

There was another car in the lot (actually a truck) and in the dark we couldn't see very well and just thought it was another parker or a couple who were luckier than us. After the beer finaly ran out, we ditched the beer cans. There wasn't a trash can in the lot, and we didn't want to get cayght with a bunch of empty beer cans by the cops, and we didn't want to take them home, either.

As we were pulling out, the lane was blocked by a very large turtle. We stopped the car, got out, and checked it out. Well, my dad grew up in the city during the depression. He would talk about a man on his sreet who had built a small concrete pond in his basement where he would keep snapping turtles he would catch and sell them. So I thought, "Gee, dad would really like to see thks turtle. I wonder if his neighbor ever had a turtle this big." And it was BIG.

My cousin wasn't at all interested, but I had to have that turtle. The only thing I knew about snapping turtles was that they had a very long neck and needed to be held by the end of the tail. But every time I got a hold of its tail and barelly got it off the ground, "hiss, snap, thrash" and I would drop it. I was not going to be defeated, though, and I finally got a death grip on his tail, held it as far away from my body as I could, and didn'let go. This was not easy as I guess he weighed at least 50 lbs ( his shell alone was about 3'long). Well, the trunk was alredy openand I was able to pkace him on his back between the spare and the back wall of the trunk. And then we finally took off. I was driving, if I didn't mention it.

Acouple hundred yards down the main road red lights started flashing behind us. With all that beer on my breath I thought "Oh no!" I pulled to the side of the road, and the flashing lights stopped behind me. A man in a smokey hat and green uniform apeared at the window. Holding a couple beer cans in his hand, hhea ashed "Do these belong to you?" What could I say but yes.

He then identified himself as Ranger So-And-So. Then he asked, "Do you have a fishing liscence?" I told him no, but I wasn't doing any fishing. He then explains that, in the state of Ohio, you need a liscence to take frogs and turtles, even on private property since they migrate, and he saw me put that turtle in the trunk. By now we realized that he must have been in the truck that was in the parking lot with us.

Then he said, "If you let that turtle go, I won't site you for fishing without a licence. But I am going to site you for littering, both of you."

So we each had to go to court, pay a fine plus costs which came to $17 each. Which was a small fortune for us when minjmum wage was $1.10/hr. And that is all. And I don't think my cousin has ever forgiven me, even 45yrs later.

Posted by: bergerbilder at July 15, 2017 06:58 PM (lIZQs)

137 ...maybe I'll just drive (coffee shop is 100+ yards down the hill).

Posted by: Serious Cat at July 15, 2017 06:59 PM (pH35d)

138 FREEDOM!!

Posted by: The snapping turtle at July 15, 2017 07:02 PM (IqV8l)

139 And yet they persist in droning on about how glamorous Michelle Obama is.
---
Gaslighting.

"This is our reality. You MUST conform to our reality no matter what and accept it as the correct and ONLY reality. "

Basically the same thing as really fat girls in bikinis being touted as beautfiul.

Posted by: shibumi at July 15, 2017 07:03 PM (aT+Bx)

140 ...maybe I'll just drive (coffee shop is 100+ yards down the hill).

Posted by: Serious Cat at July 15, 2017 06:59 PM (pH35d)

No GAINZZ for you!

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at July 15, 2017 07:03 PM (rZ+mb)

141 So who had to take the p-o'd turtle out of the trunk? Betcha didn't even think about that when you put it in there.

Posted by: Bob the Bilderberg at July 15, 2017 07:05 PM (7oUUT)

142 British newspaper article on acid attack first aid?Oh those British youth with their silly acid throwing hijinks!

https://pjmedia.com/instapundit/270148/

Posted by: steevy at July 15, 2017 07:06 PM (rmVvL)

143 bergerbilder, you are lucky you didn't lose a finger, or some other appendage, to that alligator turtle.

Posted by: Eromero at July 15, 2017 07:07 PM (zLDYs)

144 Scroll down for Horde Chess

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dunsany%27s_Chess

Posted by: josephistan at July 15, 2017 07:07 PM (ANIFC)

145
British newspaper article on acid attack first aid?Oh those British youth with their silly acid throwing hijinks!

https://pjmedia.com/instapundit/270148/
Posted by: steevy at July 15, 2017 07:06 PM

They are calling for acid control. Seriously.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at July 15, 2017 07:08 PM (IqV8l)

146 They are calling for acid control. Seriously.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at July 15, 2017 07:08 PM (IqV8l)

They really should counter it by stocking the shelves back up with lye.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at July 15, 2017 07:09 PM (rZ+mb)

147 OT, via ZeroHedge: Italy threatening to give EU vias to 200,000 "migrants" to get them out of Italy.

Soon to be displeased: France, Switzerland and Austria

Posted by: shibumi at July 15, 2017 07:09 PM (aT+Bx)

148 They are calling for acid control. Seriously.
---
This would not be a problem if people did not leave the house.

And, if you must leave the house, all women should wear burkas and men should be in traditional Islamic garb.

That should alleviate the problem.

That and converted en masse to Islam.

Posted by: Your Betters in the NWO at July 15, 2017 07:11 PM (aT+Bx)

149 So who had to take the p-o'd turtle out of the trunk? Betcha didn't even think about that when you put it in there.
Posted by: Bob the Bilderberg at July 15, 2017 07:05 PM (7oUUT)

I actually asked the ranger if he would get it out for me, and he did! The same way I put it in.

Posted by: bergerbilder at July 15, 2017 07:11 PM (lIZQs)

150 Soon to be displeased: France, Switzerland and Austria

Posted by: shibumi at July 15, 2017 07:09 PM (aT+Bx)

The FSA invades FSA!

(But you have to change Switzerland to Sweden. Switzerland isn't in the EU, I believe. Switzerland even had enough sense to stay out of the UN until they lost their minds in 2003)

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at July 15, 2017 07:12 PM (rZ+mb)

151 146 They are calling for acid control. Seriously.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at July 15, 2017 07:08 PM (IqV8l)

They really should counter it by stocking the shelves back up with lye.
Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at July 15, 2017 07:09 PM (rZ+mb)

I'm all about that base

Posted by: Insomniac at July 15, 2017 07:12 PM (0mRoj)

152 Rinat Akhmetshin who worked for Fusion GPS to create the Piss Dosier was at the Trump Tower meeting, but MSM ignores this. The Dossier McCain brought to the FBI. The one Comey paid for. The one that Comey reported on to Trump to make it leakable.

Ordinarily wouldn't a story like this be catnip to reporters?

Posted by: Ignoramus at July 15, 2017 07:13 PM (pV/54)

153 Ordinarily wouldn't a story like this be catnip to reporters?
Posted by: Ignoramus at July 15, 2017 07:13 PM (pV/54)

Reporters, yes. Paid propagandists for the Democrat Party, not so much.

Posted by: Insomniac at July 15, 2017 07:14 PM (0mRoj)

154 Posted by: Insomniac at July 15, 2017 07:12 PM (0mRoj)

There's going to be a time in Britain in the next few years when you go to the hardware store to get drain cleaner and all they are allowed to sell you is a long plastic spoon. Maybe a spork, if the Brits feel like living on the edge ...

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at July 15, 2017 07:15 PM (rZ+mb)

155 Thank you for the Melania dress pics! I actually tried in a dress fairly similar to the white one she wore at the G20..sadly I looked like a dressed up turnip.

Posted by: IC at July 15, 2017 07:15 PM (gcme+)

156 There's going to be a time in Britain in the next few years when you go to the hardware store to get drain cleaner and all they are allowed to sell you is a long plastic spoon. Maybe a spork, if the Brits feel like living on the edge ...
Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at July 15, 2017 07:15 PM (rZ+mb)

Only after a lengthy background check and permitting process.

Posted by: Insomniac at July 15, 2017 07:16 PM (0mRoj)

157 (But you have to change Switzerland to Sweden. Switzerland isn't in the EU, I believe. Switzerland even had enough sense to stay out of the UN until they lost their minds in 2003)
---

Really? I didn't know that Switzerland was not in the EU.

I just mentioned them because they're a rich nation the borders Italy.

/seems like some Euros could be made trafficing people through Switzerland and Austria into... Germany. Becuase Germans love their Islam!!! Most especially the violent rapists, the child molesters and the ones with comminicable diseases!

Posted by: shibumi at July 15, 2017 07:16 PM (aT+Bx)

158 Then again ... if the Brits keep importing massive number of muslims they probably won't really need plumbing anymore, anyway. That'll save lots of money, too!

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at July 15, 2017 07:17 PM (rZ+mb)

159 158 A hole to squat over will be sufficient....

Posted by: steevy at July 15, 2017 07:18 PM (rmVvL)

160 That's HUGE turtle, bergerbuilder, I don't even like to pick up ones that are 10 lbs. I don't know why snappers grow so big (maybe because they don't take any guff from anything) but I've seen quite a few that were as big as pizza pie plates. It is a funny story though. Thanks for taking the time to share it!

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at July 15, 2017 07:18 PM (iVOAv)

161 Posted by: shibumi at July 15, 2017 07:16 PM (aT+Bx)

Switzerland had a thing (like a normal country) about protecting their national sovereignty. They refused to join the UN - until they caved in 2003 for some unknown reason.

I'll check if they're in the EU ...

Nope. Not in the EU.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at July 15, 2017 07:19 PM (rZ+mb)

162 There's going to be a time in Britain in the next few years when you go to the hardware store to get drain cleaner and all they are allowed to sell you is a long plastic spoon. Maybe a spork, if the Brits feel like living on the edge ...
Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at July 15, 2017 07:15 PM (rZ+mb)

Only after a lengthy background check and permitting process.Posted by: Insomniac at July 15, 2017 07:16 PM--Actually, I'm guessing that when you go to the hardware store, they will have nothing, but will be able to refer to you a specialist who been through the background check and does have a long biodegradable stick. However, that's a pricey option, and insead, you will be guided to the other permitted professional who will, for about the same out, replace your clogged pipes with something natural and biodegradable.

Posted by: shibumi at July 15, 2017 07:19 PM (aT+Bx)

163 Do Western Women really need any other reason not to date a Muslim than risking an acid attack to the face.

Posted by: Dirk Diggler at July 15, 2017 07:20 PM (DZsvp)

164 HTL,

It sounds like you're trying to invent the game of Kriegspiel:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kriegspiel_(chess)

Each player sees only his own pieces. The umpire keeps track of the position on a third board, announces checks and captures, and prevents players from making illegal moves such as moving into check or moving through a square occupied by an enemy piece.

Posted by: bof at July 15, 2017 06:55 PM (bNftD)

Thanks! I knew it was too obvious an idea not to have been thought of before. Prior to this moment, however, the only game called Kriegspiel that I was aware of was produced by Avalon Hill and was kind of an uninspiring effort. Some interesting ideas, but the board was just too damned small (16 hexes in one direction and 19 in the other). Strategery needs scope.

Posted by: HTL at July 15, 2017 07:22 PM (zl60v)

165 However, that's a pricey option, and insead, you will be guided to the other permitted professional who will, for about the same out, replace your clogged pipes with something natural and biodegradable.

Posted by: shibumi at July 15, 2017 07:19 PM (aT+Bx)

I think you hit on something, here. I can see the left pushing for biodegradable pipes. That sounds like a leftist's wet dream.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at July 15, 2017 07:22 PM (rZ+mb)

166 And your cousin may not have forgiven you, but I bet he's told the story many times over about the giant snapper and"littering." ;^)

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at July 15, 2017 07:23 PM (iVOAv)

167 139 And yet they persist in droning on about how glamorous Michelle Obama is.

Yeah, and they're so vehement about it, it's like they're holding us at gunpoint, insisting that we agree with them that Michelle Obama is the most beautiful woman that ever walked the face of the earth.

Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader at July 15, 2017 07:24 PM (5n8Qj)

168 Do Western Women really need any other reason not to date a Muslim than risking an acid attack to the face.
--

You mean a reason besides mentally unhinged, low IQ, inbred, animal humping, rage filled and a small d*ck?

Pretty sure that any one of those is an adequate reason to say no to islam.

Posted by: shibumi at July 15, 2017 07:25 PM (aT+Bx)

169 "Do Western Women really need any other reason not to date a Muslim than risking an acid attack to the face."

Actually, turning them down carries that risk.

Posted by: Apostate at July 15, 2017 07:26 PM (n1dE4)

170 Yeah, and they're so vehement about it, it's like they're holding us at gunpoint, insisting that we agree with them that Michelle Obama is the most beautiful woman that ever walked the face of the earth.

Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader at July 15, 2017 07:24 PM (5n8Qj)

Enough with the right-wing lies. We never said that Michelle Obama was the most beautiful woman that ever walked the Earth. We said that she was the 93rd most beautiful woman on the planet.

Geez, get some perspective. We put 92 other women in front of her.

Posted by: Maxim Magazine at July 15, 2017 07:26 PM (rZ+mb)

171 Yankees Sox tied 1 to 1 at Fenway in the 11th.

It's only one game, but it's not.

Posted by: Ignoramus at July 15, 2017 07:26 PM (pV/54)

172
I think you hit on something, here. I can see the left pushing for biodegradable pipes. That sounds like a leftist's wet dream.
--

LOL. Doesn't it?

Right up there with "biodegradable roofing." And "underground solar power."

/we're probaby bad people for making fun of libtards.

Posted by: shibumi at July 15, 2017 07:27 PM (aT+Bx)

173 "/we're probaby bad people for making fun of libtards."

That is absolutely untrue.

Posted by: Apostate at July 15, 2017 07:28 PM (n1dE4)

174 /we're probaby bad people for making fun of libtards.

Posted by: shibumi at July 15, 2017 07:27 PM (aT+Bx)

We'd only be bad people if we didn't.

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at July 15, 2017 07:28 PM (rZ+mb)

175 That's HUGE turtle, bergerbuilder, I don't even like to pick up ones that are 10 lb
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at July 15, 2017 07:18 PM (iVOAv)

I'm sure the beer helped. I was a strong, athletic kid, but looking back, it was a pretty stupid thing to try.

Posted by: bergerbilder at July 15, 2017 07:30 PM (lIZQs)

176 169 "Do Western Women really need any other reason not to date a Muslim than risking an acid attack to the face."

Actually, turning them down carries that risk.
Posted by: Apostate at July 15, 2017 07:26 PM (n1dE4)

---

Not here.

Posted by: Texas at July 15, 2017 07:31 PM (s5Kql)

177 I lurves HUUGE CHEST MOVES...as the BISHOP said to the queen.

Posted by: saf at July 15, 2017 07:33 PM (cS/ge)

178 Winner, loser, not to worry. You'll make it up against the Mariners.

Posted by: Headless Body of Agnew at July 15, 2017 07:33 PM (N8io/)

179 Yes, distilled spirits are great motivators for doing stupid stuff. LOL. Glad you were o.k.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at July 15, 2017 07:33 PM (iVOAv)

180 147 OT, via ZeroHedge: Italy threatening to give EU vias to 200,000 "migrants" to get them out of Italy.

Soon to be displeased: France, Switzerland and Austria

Posted by: shibumi at July 15, 2017 07:09 PM (aT+Bx)

Good. I hope Italy does it. They've been on the front lines taking in the "boat people" from Africa.

(P.S.: Sorry, I tried, but my boss said he wasn't interested. He wants an employee on site. I pointed out that that approach hasn't worked so far, as he's been unable to find anyone who is interested.)

Posted by: rickl at July 15, 2017 07:33 PM (sdi6R)

181 If I ever saw someone try or do the acid thing, I would just do my best to gouge the guy's eyes out.

Posted by: bergerbilder at July 15, 2017 07:34 PM (lIZQs)

182 Toy soldier wargamers do that too although not often as you need twice the amount of table space, doubles for all of the units, and an umpire/s.

The originals:
http://grogheads.com/whatever/history/3898

Posted by: andycanuck at July 15, 2017 07:34 PM (nlbfN)

183 ... and doubles of all of the terrain pieces.

Posted by: andycanuck at July 15, 2017 07:35 PM (nlbfN)

184 I'm sure the beer helped. I was a strong, athletic kid, but looking back, it was a pretty stupid thing to try.

Posted by: bergerbilder at July 15, 2017 07:30 PM (lIZQs)

You did conveniently leave out the part of the story where you said to your cousin, "Here, hold my beer".

Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at July 15, 2017 07:38 PM (rZ+mb)

185 nood movie

Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader at July 15, 2017 07:39 PM (5n8Qj)

186 I picked up a baby snapping turtle, about the size of a half dollar. Sumbitch almosted took a chunk out of my thumb.

Posted by: Eromero at July 15, 2017 07:39 PM (zLDYs)

187 Do Western Women really need any other reason not to date a Muslim than risking an acid attack to the face.

Talk to grammie winger about this. One of her relatives (niece, I think), a professing Christian, married a pre-radicalized Muslim a couple of months ago.

Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader at July 15, 2017 07:42 PM (5n8Qj)

188 >>a pre-radicalized Muslim

Does this mean he isn't radicalized yet or that he came already radicalized?

Posted by: Aviator at July 15, 2017 07:52 PM (/Nite)

189 I don't think this was an alligator snapper. That's probably more a southern species. My little buddy looked more like this:

http://tinyurl.com/y8vyll3a

Posted by: bergerbilder at July 15, 2017 07:54 PM (lIZQs)

190 Yankees Sox tied 1 to 1 at Fenway in the 11th.

It's only one game, but it's not.
Posted by: Ignoramus

Yeah, now to the 12th, but it is only the 1st place Red Sox AL East vs some 3rd place team.

Suck it, Yankees fans!

Posted by: Go BoSox! at July 15, 2017 08:00 PM (nIGPZ)

191 Showing typical Boston sportsmanship as a big market / big payroll team tries to buy its way past a poor team from The Bronx.

Posted by: Ignoramus at July 15, 2017 08:03 PM (pV/54)

192 > sportsmanship as a big market / big payroll team tries to buy its way past a poor team from The Bronx.

Wow. Yankee fans are "special".
Game is still under protest and you write this crap?

Posted by: Go BoSox! at July 15, 2017 08:15 PM (nIGPZ)

193 I can never solve the problems. But, I sure can enjoy some dresses! What a great addition to the Chess Thread! And if everyone get's tired of looking at the dresses, then show us a cat video, or something that takes away the sting of not being able to solve the problems! Well done, Chess Thread!

Posted by: goon at July 15, 2017 08:16 PM (EaQ6/)

194 I hate to say this but... does Melania have absurdly big feet? Or is that something photogenically enhanced by 6 inch heels?

Posted by: Hillary will never be President! at July 15, 2017 08:23 PM (nIGPZ)

195 a pre-radicalized Muslim

Does this mean he isn't radicalized yet or that he came already radicalized?

Posted by: Aviator at July 15, 2017 07:52 PM (/Nite)

Heh... good question. I meant not-yet-radicalized, not "pre-radicalized for your convenience."

Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader at July 15, 2017 09:19 PM (5n8Qj)

196 There are not many women in public life who are in Mrs. Trump's league, but one of them is the current Queen of Spain, Letizia. She and the King were just in Great Britain this past week and she looked incredible. But yeah, those shoes . . . how in the world do they stand it?

Posted by: Miss Sippi at July 15, 2017 09:20 PM (5fPhA)

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