LucasFilm Unsatisfied With "Han Solo" Star's Acting? Hires An Acting Couch Deep Into Production?

You probably know that the two directors of Han Solo were fired a week or so back, and Ron Howard was brought in as an emergency last-minute replacement, even though main shooting was almost done with just a few weeks left and then some planned reshoots.

The Wrap now claims there's another problem: Alden Ehrenreich just wasn't giving them the Han Solo performance they had hoped for.

As the Han Solo "Star Wars" movie prepares to move forward under new director Ron Howard, a report has surfaced that says Lucasfilm was not only displeased with the progress being made by recently fired filmmakers Phil Lord and Chris Miller, but also by the performance by the project’s leading man, Alden Ehrenreich.
According to a report from The Hollywood Reporter, Lucasfilm decided to hire an acting coach well into the film's production in order to get a performance the studio felt Lord and Miller were not getting out of the actor.
The late-stage hire was part of a series of replacements and additions made by Lucasfilm to try and improve production, including replacing the project's editor, Chris Dickens, with longtime Ridley Scott collaborator Pietro Scalia.

The Hollywood Reporter (I think) noted that hiring an acting coach for an actor isn't unusual. I guess even pros could use some feedback and coaching. However, they said, hiring a coach this late into a shoot isn't usual. My own uninformed speculation is that hiring a coach this late into a production means you don't like what you've seen in the hours of footage you've already got in the can.

It'd be a shame if a Disney/Marvel/ABC/ESPN venture tanked.

Posted by: Ace at 01:44 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 I thought it was going to suck before this news came out

Posted by: Biergood at June 30, 2017 01:45 PM (v8Lx/)

2 Acting couch? That like a casting couch faking an orgasm?

Posted by: Upper East Side Liberal at June 30, 2017 01:45 PM (GSJcT)

3 This really needs to include the Lawrence Laurence clip from "Hail Caser!".
*off to Youtube...

Posted by: Lizzy at June 30, 2017 01:45 PM (NOIQH)

4 2ND!

Posted by: Upper East Side Liberal at June 30, 2017 01:45 PM (GSJcT)

5 Get my man Chris Pratt (from Jurassic World) to play Han Solo. And Indiana Jones, too. Problem solved.

And first?

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at June 30, 2017 01:46 PM (LeI1X)

6 I'd guess copying another actor's acting style is more difficult than just acting a part.

Posted by: vrf at June 30, 2017 01:46 PM (baCC+)

7 and you think the barrel is gross, take a smell of the acting couch...

Posted by: CSMBigBird at June 30, 2017 01:46 PM (jsWA8)

8 Found it!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G629a_3MkkI

This is the Han Solo actor, who was great in "Hail, Caesar!" but his character is not a good actor.

Posted by: Lizzy at June 30, 2017 01:47 PM (NOIQH)

9 Acting couch? You know that means something else, right?

Posted by: Reverse Polish Notation at June 30, 2017 01:47 PM (qfDb3)

10 Heh. I first saw this guy in the Coen Brothers' "Hail, Caesar!" playing . . . an actor who couldn't act.

Posted by: Benedick at June 30, 2017 01:47 PM (lg7N3)

11 The story mentions that writer Lawrence Kasdan wasn't happy with the directors. So, in what is probably the first such event in the history of film, the directors were fired, not the writer! Whee!

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at June 30, 2017 01:47 PM (LeI1X)

12 I feel acting recliners give the best acting advice.

Posted by: Dr Spank at June 30, 2017 01:48 PM (4e+hS)

13 Can the acting couch portray, say....a chair?

If not, he sucks as a couch.

Posted by: Tami at June 30, 2017 01:48 PM (Enq6K)

14 >>Heh. I first saw this guy in the Coen Brothers' "Hail, Caesar!" playing . . . an actor who couldn't act.

"Would that it were so simple!"

Posted by: Lizzy at June 30, 2017 01:49 PM (NOIQH)

15 I thought the acting couch was just how you got the job.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at June 30, 2017 01:49 PM (gIRsn)

16 I hope to upgrade from the acting hammock to the acting couch some day

Posted by: NCKate at June 30, 2017 01:49 PM (dGSft)

17 Ron Howard? lol. boring, paint by numbers stuff.

Posted by: The Original REAL Galactic Lord Sir Covfefe at June 30, 2017 01:50 PM (nFwvY)

18 Does this acting coach have really, really big tits?

Posted by: Deplorable Ian Galt at June 30, 2017 01:51 PM (8iiMU)

19 When you've stooped to using acting couches your production is in trouble.

Posted by: Dr Spank at June 30, 2017 01:51 PM (4e+hS)

20 I'm an acting living room set. And I'm Batman.

Posted by: Michael Keaton at June 30, 2017 01:51 PM (jw2Xw)

21 How much money have they poured into this black hole?

Posted by: Locke Common at June 30, 2017 01:52 PM (zSXXo)

22
If it were simple, anyone could do it.

That was a good clip.

Posted by: Fred Lesslikely at June 30, 2017 01:52 PM (m9X4Y)

23 should have hired a toaster fucker.

Posted by: chavez the hugo at June 30, 2017 01:52 PM (KP5rU)

24 Wasn't there a story about Spielberg (or somebody like him) saying that all it would take to take Hollywood to the crapper would be for a mega-millions production to tank big time.

Posted by: undocumented illegal SMOD at June 30, 2017 01:52 PM (e8kgV)

25 How about a movie starring HOPE Solo?

I can think of a lot of assholes who could play her starfish.

Posted by: WhatWhatWhat? at June 30, 2017 01:52 PM (ul9CR)

26 When it comes to acting chops, Ehrenreich has a reputation as a La-Z-Boy.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at June 30, 2017 01:53 PM (Mouru)

27 Even an acting couch couldn't have helped the last prequels.

"I hate sand."

Posted by: brak at June 30, 2017 01:53 PM (7erwY)

28 I just realized my office stapler is the 'Ace' model. Coincidence?

Posted by: Weasel at June 30, 2017 01:53 PM (C8aCP)

29 You'd think ace would know by now that one tiny typo in the headline will be what the entire thread is about.

Posted by: Tami at June 30, 2017 01:53 PM (Enq6K)

30 they couldn't get that illuminati guy from The Lone Ranger?

Posted by: The Original REAL Galactic Lord Sir Covfefe at June 30, 2017 01:54 PM (nFwvY)

31 You'd think ace would know by now that one tiny typo in the headline will be what the entire thread is about.

Bhahahahahahahahaaha

Posted by: CSMBigBird at June 30, 2017 01:54 PM (jsWA8)

32

Nobody notices typo's 'round here.

Posted by: Fred Lesslikely at June 30, 2017 01:54 PM (m9X4Y)

33 Ron Howard? lol. boring, paint by numbers stuff.

I believe "stolid and workmanlike" is the expression you were looking for.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at June 30, 2017 01:55 PM (Mouru)

34 "Would that it were so simple!"
Posted by: Lizzy at June 30, 2017 01:49 PM (NOIQH)
---------

"Would be that i' twere so simple."

Posted by: bluebell ~ Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Moron Cooking, But Were Afraid to Ask at June 30, 2017 01:55 PM (sBOL1)

35 I heard they're rebooting the whole series and Han Solo will now be played by Leslie Jones.

Posted by: Cave Johnson at June 30, 2017 01:56 PM (moKYV)

36 28 I just realized my office stapler is the 'Ace' model. Coincidence?
Posted by: Weasel at June 30, 2017 01:53 PM (C8aCP)
--------

I think not.

Posted by: bluebell ~ Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Moron Cooking, But Were Afraid to Ask at June 30, 2017 01:56 PM (sBOL1)

37 The acting couch folds out into bed.

Posted by: Mr Aspirin Factory at June 30, 2017 01:56 PM (TAufc)

38 Isn't a 2017 Han Solo going to be too....manly....for Disney of 2017 anyway?

Posted by: 18-1 at June 30, 2017 01:57 PM (eSx+E)

39 You can hope for a bomb, but it ain't bombing. If the three prequels didn't bomb, clearly they can give us a sack of shit with the name "Star Wars" on it, and it will make a ton of money.

But, this guy's career? Yeah. Say hi to Jake Lloyd for us!

Posted by: Ted K. at June 30, 2017 01:57 PM (I6Vm1)

40 Ron Howard is to directors what government buildings are to architecture.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at June 30, 2017 01:58 PM (Mouru)

41 Wasn't there a story about Spielberg (or somebody like him) saying that
all it would take to take Hollywood to the crapper would be for a
mega-millions production to tank big time.
***
With a repeal of the Hollywood tax cuts...

Posted by: 18-1 at June 30, 2017 01:58 PM (eSx+E)

42 There's still hope. Tombstone is one of my favorite movies, and its production reads like a comedy film. Musical director's chair, 180 degree script changes... the works.

Posted by: Ace's liver at June 30, 2017 01:58 PM (Xuv2G)

43 Yes. A crying shame.

Posted by: JAS at June 30, 2017 01:58 PM (UnDQI)

44 Acting cooch?

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at June 30, 2017 01:58 PM (8iiMU)

45 I'm ready for my closeup, Mr. Lucas.

Posted by: Chesterfield Sofa at June 30, 2017 01:58 PM (xAvrH)

46 "It'd be a shame if a Disney/Marvel/ABC/ESPN venture tanked."

It would definitely be one of the "shame" types. Not "crying shame", more like "laughing shame".

Posted by: Dirks Strewn at June 30, 2017 01:59 PM (kfcYC)

47 This obsession with prequels is really baffling. Reboots make more sense than a prequel for Han Solo. Rogue One, while a prequel, had a shot at being a heist film but of course they screwed that up. Except for die hard fan boys, no one cares about a Han Solo back story. Harrison Ford had a certain charm for the role and it's unlikely someone is going to replicate in a weak prequel.

May the Disney Empire crash and burn.

Posted by: WOPR - Nationalist at June 30, 2017 01:59 PM (J70i0)

48 Too bad, because this guy really was good in Hail Caesar. I guess he's good at playing cowboys, but just not space cowboys.

Posted by: bluebell ~ THE END IS NEAR at June 30, 2017 01:59 PM (sBOL1)

49 "Don't get cocky...LINE?!...kid."

Posted by: The New and Not Improved Han Solo at June 30, 2017 02:00 PM (kfcYC)

50 They going to give him flying lessons too?

Posted by: wth at June 30, 2017 02:00 PM (HgMAr)

51 Han Solo was lightning in a bottle. Won't happen again, and certainly not with this guy. As like to young Harry Ford as Hyperion to a mildewed ear...

Posted by: Kerry at June 30, 2017 02:00 PM (IkfYe)

52

Quick, I need a promotional poster :

"Grace Jones does Hand Solo 'it twere so simple.'

Posted by: Han Solo does Star Wars Promo at June 30, 2017 02:00 PM (m9X4Y)

53 In a British production, wouldn'it be an acting divan?

Posted by: bergerbilder at June 30, 2017 02:01 PM (lIZQs)

54 Rogue One, while a prequel, had a shot at being a heist film but of course they screwed that up.
***
The movie was enjoyable while watching but it just didn't have much to recommend it*.

The leads weren't very charismatic, the villain not very villainous, and even the ham-handed attempt to make the good guys ISIS or AQ just didn't shock.

*Except Darth Vader. Darth Vader was the one real redeeming thing in the movie.

Posted by: 18-1 at June 30, 2017 02:02 PM (eSx+E)

55 "You're not mouthing our trite, hackneyed, wooden dialogue convincingly enough! Bring in the acting coach, stat!"

Posted by: torquewrench at June 30, 2017 02:02 PM (ujwCG)

56 Elmo act. Elmo expert on muslim immigration. Elmo play Han Solo.

Posted by: Elmo at June 30, 2017 02:02 PM (npdX6)

57 There's still hope. Tombstone is one of my favorite movies, and its production reads like a comedy film. Musical director's chair, 180 degree script changes... the works.
Posted by: Ace's liver at June 30, 2017 01:58 PM (Xuv2G)

You can tell though that Tombstone is tonally all over the place. I enjoy it but the parts don't fit together well.

And do we want Disney to succeed in turning out lame Star Wars films? Wouldn't a crash and burn be preferable?

Posted by: WOPR - Nationalist at June 30, 2017 02:02 PM (J70i0)

58 May the Disney Empire crash and burn.

Posted by: WOPR - Nationalist at June 30, 2017 01:59 PM (J70i0)

Yeah! Fvck the Mouse!

Posted by: The Chicken at June 30, 2017 02:02 PM (8iiMU)

59 47 This obsession with prequels is really baffling. Reboots make more sense than a prequel for Han Solo. Rogue One, while a prequel, had a shot at being a heist film but of course they screwed that up. Except for die hard fan boys, no one cares about a Han Solo back story. Harrison Ford had a certain charm for the role and it's unlikely someone is going to replicate in a weak prequel.

May the Disney Empire crash and burn.
Posted by: WOPR - Nationalist at June 30, 2017 01:59 PM (J70i0)

I'm not a fan of prequels either, part of the problem being you know the final disposition of the important characters, i.e. we know there's no chance Deckard is going to die or end up, you know, happily married with lots of kids.

Posted by: Ace's liver at June 30, 2017 02:02 PM (Xuv2G)

60 Luke: "I'm not eating this crap"

Han Solo: "Let me offer you some advice kid. When a wookie offers you a school lunch, you'd better eat it or she'll tear your arms off"

Posted by: Chesterfield Sofa at June 30, 2017 02:02 PM (xAvrH)

61 May the Disney Empire crash and burn.
***
I think we need to find Walt's frozen head and wake him up.

Posted by: 18-1 at June 30, 2017 02:03 PM (eSx+E)

62 What about me?

Posted by: Acting Sybian at June 30, 2017 02:03 PM (2qHjF)

63 47 This obsession with prequels is really baffling. Reboots make more sense than a prequel for Han Solo. Rogue One, while a prequel, had a shot at being a heist film but of course they screwed that up. Except for die hard fan boys, no one cares about a Han Solo back story. Harrison Ford had a certain charm for the role and it's unlikely someone is going to replicate in a weak prequel.

May the Disney Empire crash and burn.
Posted by: WOPR - Nationalist

A weak prequel. If it's ever released, this movie will be most remembered for the coining of the term: "weakquel".

Posted by: Dirks Strewn at June 30, 2017 02:03 PM (kfcYC)

64 Bringing in new furniture this late in the production is a very bad sign.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at June 30, 2017 02:03 PM (Mouru)

65 Given how wooden Harrison Ford's acting eventually became (and how utterly shit the guys who played Anakin in the prequels were), how bad can the guy they've got now be? Star Wars has never been known for good acting (or writing, for that matter).

Posted by: FaCubeItches at June 30, 2017 02:03 PM (rznWS)

66 Just use the current actor and dub in Harrison Ford's old man voice. Then CGI in Harrison Ford's young face like they did with Kurt Russell in Guardians 2.

Cheaper than the lost sales from "I hate sand" level acting.

Posted by: wooga at June 30, 2017 02:03 PM (sQuad)

67 >>>It'd be a shame if a Disney/Marvel/ABC/ESPN venture tanked.

sarc tag?

Posted by: m at June 30, 2017 02:04 PM (VgThI)

68 The most dangerous place to be is between a wookie and a taco bar.

Posted by: Barak Obama at June 30, 2017 02:04 PM (npdX6)

69 >>"It'd be a shame if a Disney/Marvel/ABC/ESPN venture tanked."

Eh, this is a Star Wars movie. They seem to have a built-in fanboi base (now kids are hooked, too, thanks to Lego Star Wars venture) that ensures each movie will be a hit.
It would have to be really bad to not make money.

Posted by: Lizzy at June 30, 2017 02:04 PM (NOIQH)

70 Prequel sounds like a sex juice or something.

Posted by: Acting Sybian at June 30, 2017 02:04 PM (2qHjF)

71 38
Isn't a 2017 Han Solo going to be too....manly....for Disney of 2017 anyway?
Posted by: 18-1 at June 30, 2017 01:57 PM (eSx+E)

That's undoubtedly why they hired a 5'2" faggoty thing to play Hans Solo.

Posted by: kathysaysso at June 30, 2017 02:04 PM (vkS2Z)

72 Who cares what Lucas thinks, he's a putz

Posted by: Killerdog at June 30, 2017 02:04 PM (aqEgy)

73 Opie Cunningham is a good director but this sounds more and more like its going to really suck.

You can tell though that Tombstone is tonally all over the place. I enjoy it but the parts don't fit together well.

Exactly, its like several films spliced together using the same actors. Very odd and disjointed, but the performances from Russel and Kilmer make it work anyway. And it has one of my long-time crushes in it (far too little in a very tragic role) Dana Wheeler-Nicholson.

Fell for her in Fletch. She never got enough work.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at June 30, 2017 02:05 PM (39g3+)

74

"Forget the acting couch. They needed a CASTING couch!"

- - Zombie Shelly Winters.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 30, 2017 02:05 PM (mbhDw)

75 "acting couch"

heh

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 30, 2017 02:05 PM (PY9jH)

76 And do we want Disney to succeed in turning out lame Star Wars films? Wouldn't a crash and burn be preferable?
Posted by: WOPR - Nationalist at June 30, 2017 02:02 PM (J70i0)

Preferable would be Disney succeeds in turning out good Star Wars films.

Posted by: Ace's liver at June 30, 2017 02:05 PM (Xuv2G)

77 I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm a huge Star Wars fanboy. This movie is going to be terrible.

Posted by: joe, living dangerously at June 30, 2017 02:05 PM (OJXf7)

78 What, am I too classy for this joint?

Posted by: The Acting Davenport at June 30, 2017 02:05 PM (OmOvC)

79
Actually, Ace. They need acting shelves.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 30, 2017 02:05 PM (mbhDw)

80 It'd be a shame if a Disney/Marvel/ABC/ESPN venture tanked.

This is sarcasm, right? : )

Because I hope that kiddie soft porn company goes tits up someday.

Posted by: Country Boy at June 30, 2017 02:06 PM (JgLmf)

81 Too late to hire Hope Solo for a Sarlacc Pit prequel?

Posted by: wooga at June 30, 2017 02:06 PM (sQuad)

82 It's time that a bulldyke plays Hand Solo.

Posted by: Sally Kohn at June 30, 2017 02:06 PM (npdX6)

83 So they hired a real Nerf Herder for the job?

Posted by: Anna Puma at June 30, 2017 02:06 PM (Yl6kS)

84 Ummm. Alden Ehrenreich looks kinda white. And kinda male. I thought we were past all of this racist shit? Why can't we have Wanda Sykes as Han Solo?

Posted by: Chesterfield Sofa at June 30, 2017 02:06 PM (xAvrH)

85 Couch is funnier than coach here.

Everyone has different reasons for judging movies, for me, even if there was little in the rest of Rogue One, the last few minutes would have been a remarkable save and I would have (and did) leave the theater happy.

And because it's fun watching people really enjoy something, here's a young Star Wars fan being surprised by the ending (huge spoiler if you haven't seen it):

https://youtu.be/XilxJHv9qBI

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at June 30, 2017 02:06 PM (wB8Tg)

86 And I still luv in the title - "Acting Couch"

Well the couch seems to be a bit bi on this.

Posted by: Anna Puma at June 30, 2017 02:07 PM (Yl6kS)

87 82 It's time that a bulldyke plays Hand Solo.
Posted by: Sally Kohn at June 30, 2017 02:06 PM (npdX6)

Rosy Palmer (and her five sisters).

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 30, 2017 02:07 PM (mbhDw)

88 If Alden Ehrenreich doesn't have an English accent, give him one. That always works.

Posted by: Geico Gecko at June 30, 2017 02:07 PM (H8S+R)

89 The movie was enjoyable while watching but it just didn't have much to recommend it*.

The leads weren't very charismatic, the villain not very villainous, and even the ham-handed attempt to make the good guys ISIS or AQ just didn't shock.

*Except Darth Vader. Darth Vader was the one real redeeming thing in the movie.
Posted by: 18-1 at June 30, 2017 02:02 PM (eSx+E)

The only enjoyable portion was the space battle. The ground scenes where well done but not interesting for the simple fact that Stormtroopers have been turned into comedy relief. They get taken out in armor by a guy hitting them with a stick. (Before someone mentions ewoks, watch RoTJ. The ewoks might knock a guy over with some rocks, but they don't kill them. They do that by swarming them and hacking at the joints.)

The Darth Vader scenes were too tacked on to be interesting.

Posted by: WOPR - Nationalist at June 30, 2017 02:07 PM (J70i0)

90 I wish I had an acting couch, mine just sits by the wall doing jackshit.

Posted by: Killerdog at June 30, 2017 02:07 PM (aqEgy)

91 Except for die hard fan boys, no one cares about a Han Solo back story. Harrison Ford had a certain charm for the role and it's unlikely someone is going to replicate in a weak prequel.

Yeah, I can't see anyone else pulling off the rogueish charm in that role as well as Harrison Ford. He took a frankly lousy script and made it work.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at June 30, 2017 02:07 PM (39g3+)

92
They can hire George Zimmermann to play Hans Cholo.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 30, 2017 02:07 PM (mbhDw)

93 Harrison Ford had a certain charm for the role and it's unlikely someone is going to replicate in a weak prequel.

And I'm still around to do all the stunt flying. Cleared by the FAA.

Posted by: Harrison Ford at June 30, 2017 02:07 PM (qJhUV)

94 Ron Howard can give the film the "Cocoon" treatment.

Bonus: Brian Dennehy can play a planet

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 30, 2017 02:07 PM (PY9jH)

95 OT, but I thought y'all might like to know...

I'm putting up some shelves today.

Whassup now, huh? Yeah.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at June 30, 2017 02:07 PM (hcyUh)

96 What, am I too classy for this joint?

Posted by: The Acting Davenport at June 30, 2017 02:05 PM (OmOvC)

I want nothing to do with this.

Posted by: The Acting Ottoman at June 30, 2017 02:08 PM (HgMAr)

97 Acting couch? That like a casting couch faking an orgasm?
Posted by: Upper East Side Liberal at June 30, 2017 01:45 PM (GSJcT)

I never have to fake it.

Posted by: Couch Fucker at June 30, 2017 02:08 PM (JgLmf)

98 Yeah it would suck. Years ago I bought several hundred shares of Marvel which got bought by Disney.

Posted by: SFGoth at June 30, 2017 02:08 PM (dZ756)

99 Don't miss our BIG 4TH of JULY SALE!

Posted by: Funiture Mart at June 30, 2017 02:08 PM (QM5S2)

100
Acting Couch......

Is that *anything* like the white ottoman???

Posted by: fixerupper at June 30, 2017 02:08 PM (8XRCm)

101 94 Ron Howard can give the film the "Cocoon" treatment.

Bonus: Brian Dennehy can play a planet
Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 30, 2017 02:07 PM (PY9jH)

Cocoon is racist. Co-C word.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 30, 2017 02:08 PM (mbhDw)

102 >>That's undoubtedly why they hired a 5'2" faggoty thing to play Hans Solo.

Should've hired someone like Garrett Hedlund...

Posted by: Lizzy at June 30, 2017 02:08 PM (NOIQH)

103 65 Given how wooden Harrison Ford's acting eventually became (and how utterly shit the guys who played Anakin in the prequels were), how bad can the guy they've got now be? Star Wars has never been known for good acting (or writing, for that matter).
Posted by: FaCubeItches at June 30, 2017 02:03 PM (rznWS)

Ford was always kind of a wooden actor. It's just that in his younger years he had an abundance of charisma, got some primo roles, and could deliver a one-liner. If not for Star Wars he'd be a retired carpenter.

Posted by: Ace's liver at June 30, 2017 02:08 PM (Xuv2G)

104 I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm a huge Star Wars fanboy. This movie is going to be terrible.

Posted by: joe, living dangerously at June 30, 2017 02:05 PM (OJXf7)

Hollywood has the capacity to make a flaming pile of dog crap look palatable.

Sounds like they've got their work cut out for them, though.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at June 30, 2017 02:09 PM (wB8Tg)

105 11 The story mentions that writer Lawrence Kasdan wasn't happy with the directors. So, in what is probably the first such event in the history of film, the directors were fired, not the writer! Whee!

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at June 30, 2017 01:47 PM (LeI1X)

Well when the writer is the guy behind Empire Strikes Back...

Posted by: buzzion at June 30, 2017 02:09 PM (cAnNx)

106 As I've said before, it isn't a surprise that the star wars movies since the 80s haven't been all that good. Yes the Lucas prequels were worse then the Disney ones that are currently coming out, but remember the original trilogy had:

Harrison Ford in his prime
Carrie Fisher in her prime
The best voice in Hollywood James Earl Jones
One of Hollywood's best directors Irv Kerchner
A check on Lucas in his talented ex-wife
And the best special effects of the time

Posted by: 18-1 at June 30, 2017 02:09 PM (eSx+E)

107 They could shine a spotlight on Ron Howards head and pass it off as a distant supernova. Save some CGI money as well.

Fvck that Opie in particular.

Posted by: Under Fire at June 30, 2017 02:09 PM (l4aLi)

108 Ace, Alden Ehrenreich is almost certainly a lefty:

He parents were " Reconstructionist" Jews, which is like the Unitarianism of Jewishness, and Reconstructionism is basically a left-wing political variant of Judaism.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alden_Ehrenreich#Personal_life

Furthermore, he attended The Crossroads School in Santa Monica, a big-time lefty "progressive" school for LA rich kids of liberal parents:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crossroads_School_(Santa_Monica,_California)

He also just wrapped "Yellow Birds," a moonbatty anti-war film.

All in all, I'd guess he was a "progressive." hence, I hope he (and all his projects) fail.

Total war. That's just the way it is.

Posted by: zombie at June 30, 2017 02:09 PM (DQ4Fv)

109 I'm free for this role and I'm really really good at acting.

Posted by: Amy Schumer at June 30, 2017 02:09 PM (npdX6)

110 If Alden Ehrenreich doesn't have an English accent, give him one. That always works.
Posted by: Geico Gecko at June 30, 2017 02:07 PM (H8S+R)
------------

Would that i' 'twere so simple.

Posted by: bluebell ~ Everything You Wanted to Know About Moron Cooking, But Were Afraid to Ask at June 30, 2017 02:09 PM (sBOL1)

111 Some really talented teens (including the fabulous Sina Doering) playing the shit out of some Dream Theater:

http://preview.tinyurl.com/y7g8tyhh

Posted by: WhatWhatWhat? at June 30, 2017 02:10 PM (ul9CR)

112 Any post related to Star Wars should contain at least one Red Letter Media video review.

Because those reviews are STILL the only good thing Star Wars has birthed post-ROTJ.

Posted by: What's a Seawolf? at June 30, 2017 02:10 PM (72PAC)

113 My own uninformed speculation is that hiring a coach this late into a production means you don't like what you've seen in the hours of footage you've already got in the can.

So looking at the daily rushes didn't give them a clue?

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at June 30, 2017 02:10 PM (X6fMO)

114 Merovign, skipped watching Rogue One but that scene kinda blows apart 'intercepting transmission' a wee bit.

Posted by: Anna Puma at June 30, 2017 02:10 PM (Yl6kS)

115 Yeah, I can't see anyone else pulling off the rogueish charm in that role as well as Harrison Ford

Bradley Cooper could have pulled it off, and looks close enough to Harrison Ford. But Lucas dicked around for so long that Cooper is now too old.

Posted by: wooga at June 30, 2017 02:10 PM (sQuad)

116 79
Actually, Ace. They need acting shelves.
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 30, 2017 02:05 PM (mbhDw)

I'll have some leftover material, I can swing by the set later this evening.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at June 30, 2017 02:10 PM (hcyUh)

117 5 Get my man Chris Pratt (from Jurassic World) to play Han Solo. And Indiana Jones, too. Problem solved.

And first?
Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at June 30, 2017 01:46 PM (LeI1X)

-------------

Just got through watching all the seasons of Parks and Recreation. He turned what could have been a minor (and temporary) character in that series in to one of the major forces that drove that program.

I think he'd make a great Indiana Jones.

Posted by: Soona at June 30, 2017 02:10 PM (Fmupd)

118 88 If Alden Ehrenreich doesn't have an English accent, give him one. That always works.
Posted by: Geico Gecko at June 30, 2017 02:07 PM (H8S+R)

Only Nazis have English accents.

Posted by: Ace's liver at June 30, 2017 02:10 PM (Xuv2G)

119 I am to the point that neither Star Trek or Star Wars really charms me any longer. I think they are making a mistake by pushing this stuff too hard.

You know why James Bond works? Because you get James Bond once ever 2-3 years. If you got James Bond every year, and in a TV series, and in spin offs... not quite so fresh and interesting.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at June 30, 2017 02:10 PM (39g3+)

120
Adds new meaning to Spencer Tracy's advice for actors:

"Know your lines and don't bump into the furniture."

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 30, 2017 02:11 PM (mbhDw)

121 "It'd be a shame if a Disney/Marvel/ABC/ESPN venture tanked."

Maybe they could sell it to Turner Broadcasting. I'm sure Ted could polish a turd. CNN could promote.

Posted by: AnonymousDrivel at June 30, 2017 02:11 PM (H8S+R)

122

I think my schedule is open. And I will do anything, ANYTHING, on that couch.

Posted by: Shia LaBeouf at June 30, 2017 02:12 PM (OZmbA)

123 I think I just had a mini-stroke.

I could read the text on my phone just fine ... then ... pow !!! Really small text.

Posted by: ScoggDog at June 30, 2017 02:12 PM (tRLIC)

124 You know why James Bond works? Because you get James Bond once ever 2-3 years. If you got James Bond every year, and in a TV series, and in spin offs... not quite so fresh and interesting.

What is it about milking a cow until it's a dessicated pile of dust that you don't understand?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at June 30, 2017 02:13 PM (Mouru)

125 Is that *anything* like the white ottoman???

Posted by: fixerupper at June 30, 2017 02:08 PM (8XRCm)

white ottoman privilege....

Posted by: Stupid SJW at June 30, 2017 02:13 PM (8iiMU)

126 Sina is amazing, she's really talented and seems to be having so much fun the whole time. She's adorable, if I had a daughter I hope she'd be like that.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at June 30, 2017 02:13 PM (39g3+)

127 Get my man Chris Pratt (from Jurassic World)

-----

Holy shit.

If you're going to paranthesize Chris Pratt..... you paranthesizae him with GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY!!!!

WTF is WRONG with you???

Posted by: fixerupper at June 30, 2017 02:13 PM (8XRCm)

128 Yeah! Fvck the Mouse!

Posted by: The Chicken at June 30, 2017 02:02 PM (8iiMU)

If only. That squeaky little bastard's always running off somewhere with Donald and Goofy. A girl's got needs, you know!

Posted by: Minnie Mouse at June 30, 2017 02:13 PM (X6fMO)

129
Jurassic World.

pffft

Posted by: fixerupper at June 30, 2017 02:13 PM (8XRCm)

130 O/T Someone just sent this to me:

Note PDT left in Israel's Western Wall:

"Dear God:

Please contact me with the name of the contractor who built this wall.

I have a similar project and would like a quote.

PDT"

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 30, 2017 02:13 PM (PY9jH)

131 Hollywood always hires the acting couch and never the acting knuckle.

Posted by: Moose Knuckle at June 30, 2017 02:14 PM (npdX6)

132 So fixer, did you like Jurassic World?

Posted by: bluebell ~ THE END IS NEAR at June 30, 2017 02:14 PM (sBOL1)

133 106 As I've said before, it isn't a surprise that the star wars movies since the 80s haven't been all that good. Yes the Lucas prequels were worse then the Disney ones that are currently coming out, but remember the original trilogy had:

Harrison Ford in his prime
Carrie Fisher in her prime
The best voice in Hollywood James Earl Jones
One of Hollywood's best directors Irv Kerchner
A check on Lucas in his talented ex-wife
And the best special effects of the time
Posted by: 18-1 at June 30, 2017 02:09 PM (eSx+E)

The complaint I heard from people who actually worked at Lucasfilms during prequel production is Lucal managed to surround himself with people who were too afraid to say anything critical.

That, and he had so much money there were no constraints. He couldn't afford to do some of the things he wanted to do to the originals that would have made them worse.

Posted by: Ace's liver at June 30, 2017 02:14 PM (Xuv2G)

134 Where was the oversight here? Someone fucked up on the production end.

They should probably chuck the footage and start over. They don't want a turkey in this franchise this soon.

Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at June 30, 2017 02:14 PM (4ErVI)

135 I'm not a Dream Theater fan. They are all really talented, but its more guys jamming and showing off rather than songs. They're disjointed and all over the place, basically everyone trying to solo at once, all the time.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at June 30, 2017 02:14 PM (39g3+)

136

No actor with a name like Ehrenreich can play Hand Solo. And the kid needs a better agent. He's all wrong fro the part.

Posted by: Han Solo does Star Wars Promo at June 30, 2017 02:14 PM (m9X4Y)

137 119 I am to the point that neither Star Trek or Star Wars really charms me any longer. I think they are making a mistake by pushing this stuff too hard.

You know why James Bond works? Because you get James Bond once ever 2-3 years. If you got James Bond every year, and in a TV series, and in spin offs... not quite so fresh and interesting.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at June 30, 2017 02:10 PM (39g3+)

James Bond doesn't work anymore.

Posted by: buzzion at June 30, 2017 02:14 PM (cAnNx)

138 Who cares what Lucas thinks, he's a putz

Posted by: Killerdog at June 30, 2017 02:04 PM (aqEgy)
..............

I liked him on South Park.

https://tinyurl.com/n8mq6ys

Posted by: The Acting Ottoman at June 30, 2017 02:14 PM (HgMAr)

139 "Yeah, I can't see anyone else pulling off the rogueish charm in that role as well as Harrison Ford"

Overheard at lunch:

"When the original movie came out, I thought Harrison Ford was completely convincing as a cynical mercenary smuggler character. However, I was six years old at the time."

Posted by: torquewrench at June 30, 2017 02:15 PM (ujwCG)

140 zombie at 108 blew margins.

Posted by: wooga at June 30, 2017 02:15 PM (sQuad)

141

Do you have a part for me in that one?

You might call me a "willing" couch, er, potato.

Posted by: Amy Schumer at June 30, 2017 02:15 PM (OZmbA)

142 I'm stickier than Miley Cyrus' cooter.

Posted by: Ace's Couch at June 30, 2017 02:15 PM (4e+hS)

143 Disney is ahead of schedule in their plan to build a Star Wars film galaxy that will end up looking more similar to Transformers that the Empire Strikes Back.

Yep - not gonna see it.

Posted by: Waldorf & Statler at June 30, 2017 02:16 PM (fFfWq)

144 So fixer, did you like Jurassic World?
Posted by: bluebell ~ THE END IS NEAR at June 30, 2017 02:14 PM (sBOL1)

-------

As trite, repeated plot line. pieces of redundant shit with terrible acting goes.... it wasnt horrible.

Posted by: fixerupper at June 30, 2017 02:16 PM (8XRCm)

145 The casting couch is the only couch that matters in Hollywood.

Posted by: Casting Couch at June 30, 2017 02:16 PM (Yx9SN)

146 Is the acting chaise lounge not a thing anymore?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 30, 2017 02:16 PM (PY9jH)

147
142 I'm stickier than Miley Cyrus' cooter.

Posted by: Ace's Couch at June 30, 2017 02:15 PM (4e+hS)

Just flip the cushions over.

Posted by: George at June 30, 2017 02:16 PM (l4aLi)

148 This reads a lot like the plot of Hail Caesar, where the Alden Ehrenreich character is such a bad actor that the Ralph Fiennes character begs to get him off the movie.

Posted by: bjstuggs at June 30, 2017 02:16 PM (UR1d6)

149 Harrison Ford in his prime
Carrie Fisher in her prime
The best voice in Hollywood James Earl Jones
One of Hollywood's best directors Irv Kerchner
A check on Lucas in his talented ex-wife
And the best special effects of the time

And when they did the sequel, they had one of Hollywood's best writers Lawrence Kasdan. No wonder it worked, despite Lucas' fairly incompetent writing.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at June 30, 2017 02:16 PM (39g3+)

150 126 Sina is amazing, she's really talented and seems to be having so much fun the whole time. She's adorable

Yepp! The most important thing is to have fun playing music, and Sina always has so much fun. I agree, she's just adorable. The little girl from the little town in Germany is going to be a big star.

Posted by: WhatWhatWhat? at June 30, 2017 02:17 PM (ul9CR)

151 I hope they don't hire some lazy boy as an acting couch.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at June 30, 2017 02:17 PM (IqV8l)

152 I can do Han Solo. I've worked with him and observed his technique. I'll just need a bit more makeup and some tape for my ears. Otherwise, we'll be indistinguishable.

Posted by: Jar Jar Binks at June 30, 2017 02:17 PM (H8S+R)

153 I was a star in Crispy Star Wars.

Posted by: Reggie Love at June 30, 2017 02:17 PM (npdX6)

154 Soft whispery NPR-type voice:

"The role of the couch will be played by.."

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 30, 2017 02:17 PM (PY9jH)

155 I watched the trailers for Atomic Blonde and realized she's James Bond with tits. She even shags the female Bond girl who later turns up dead.

Posted by: Anna Puma at June 30, 2017 02:17 PM (Yl6kS)

156 Quick, get Hayden Christensen on the line!

Posted by: Chupacabra at June 30, 2017 02:18 PM (6QtJv)

157 If this movie were called Luke Skywalker, then bad acting really wouldn't be a big deal.

Posted by: bjstuggs at June 30, 2017 02:18 PM (UR1d6)

158 well, Rogue One was almost good.

Posted by: Boulder terlit hobo at June 30, 2017 02:18 PM (UWJQH)

159 I am to the point that neither Star Trek or Star Wars really charms me any longer. I think they are making a mistake by pushing this stuff too hard.

You know why James Bond works? Because you get James Bond once ever 2-3 years. If you got James Bond every year, and in a TV series, and in spin offs... not quite so fresh and interesting.
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at June 30, 2017 02:10 PM (39g3+)

Star Wars was always light, fluffy fun and that is what they should aim for. Play with some archetypes in a pulp sci-fi universe with clear lines of good and evil.

Star Trek suffered from JJ Abrams who takes the traits of certain characters and turns them up to 11 without understanding the characters. I think Beyond is actually the best of the three recent movies. Discovery is going to SJW itself into oblivion.

Posted by: WOPR - Nationalist at June 30, 2017 02:18 PM (J70i0)

160 Is an acting couch the same thing as a casting coach?

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at June 30, 2017 02:18 PM (XUcIQ)

161 James Bond doesn't work anymore.

Yeah well they broke the franchise trying to turn it into Bourne Identity with a poof in the lead. Zero chemistry with women, lost all the stuff that made Bond work. But it worked for 5 decades.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at June 30, 2017 02:18 PM (39g3+)

162 The Force Awakens was awful; it just looked better than the prequels. Killed my interest in these movies.

Posted by: Not Orson Welles at June 30, 2017 02:18 PM (XD4KL)

163 Speaking of couches, I really miss reading Jonah Goldberg's stuff. Used to be the high point of my day, then he went all joyless harbinger of doom over Trump and his supporters, and I just couldn't do it anymore. Got too hard to read someone you really like repeatedly call you a knuckle-eating, paste-dragging antichrist every day.

Bit of couch-induced nostalgia, that's all.

Posted by: Warai-otoko at June 30, 2017 02:18 PM (hcyUh)

164 zombie at 108 blew margins.
Posted by: wooga at June 30, 2017 02:15 PM (sQuad)

-----

That was the Bat-extender Font.

Posted by: fixerupper at June 30, 2017 02:18 PM (8XRCm)

165 Is an acting couch the same thing as a casting coach?

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at June 30, 2017 02:18 PM (XUcIQ)

It can be called on to act as a casting couch when needed.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 30, 2017 02:19 PM (PY9jH)

166 Forty three couch puns already. Damn I love this place.

Posted by: Afroman at June 30, 2017 02:19 PM (Wpu6S)

167 Jane's going to play the couch????

Posted by: CSMBigBird at June 30, 2017 02:20 PM (jsWA8)

168 It'd be a shame if a Disney/Marvel/ABC/ESPN venture tanked.

A damn shame.

A crying shame.

Oh, the humanity.

Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader at June 30, 2017 02:20 PM (NwEWw)

169 Disney is ahead of schedule in their plan to build a Star Wars film galaxy that will end up looking more similar to Transformers that the Empire Strikes Back.

In development:

1. The Shaggy Wookkiee D.A.
2. The Nutty Emperor
3. Steamboat Kenobi
4. Boba Fett and the Seven Jawas

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at June 30, 2017 02:20 PM (Mouru)

170

Because of the Project Veritas videos the offical couch will be stepping down. Now, until we can fill that position with a replracement, allow me to introduce you to the new acting couch.

Posted by: CNN Furniture Dept at June 30, 2017 02:20 PM (OZmbA)

171 I am to the point that neither Star Trek or Star Wars really charms me any longer. I think they are making a mistake by pushing this stuff too hard.

You can NEVER push too hard.

Posted by: Shep Smith at June 30, 2017 02:20 PM (xAvrH)

172 159 I am to the point that neither Star Trek or Star Wars really charms me any longer. I think they are making a mistake by pushing this stuff too hard.

Couldn't finish watching Beyond.

Posted by: Not Orson Welles at June 30, 2017 02:20 PM (XD4KL)

173 The hole in my pop culture life I lost when washing my hands of Star Wars has been filled by the John Wick movies. I'm happy with the trade.

Posted by: Chupacabra at June 30, 2017 02:20 PM (6QtJv)

174 Forty three couch puns already. Damn I love this place.
Posted by: Afroman at June 30, 2017 02:19 PM (Wpu6S)

-----

We're sofa king good.

(say it *really* fast)

Posted by: fixerupper at June 30, 2017 02:21 PM (8XRCm)

175 You know what likes to burrow into a couche? A weasel that's what.

Posted by: Under Fire at June 30, 2017 02:21 PM (l4aLi)

176 "You can NEVER push too hard."

That was what Barry always used to say.

Posted by: Reggie Love at June 30, 2017 02:21 PM (npdX6)

177 fixerupper: "As trite, repeated plot line. pieces of redundant shit with terrible acting goes.... it wasnt horrible."

Gentlemen, we have our marquee!

Posted by: Lucasfilm Marketing at June 30, 2017 02:21 PM (H8S+R)

178 JJ Abrams dropped the Trek franchise into the warp core on the second movie when he tried to remake Wrath of Khan.

Posted by: Anna Puma at June 30, 2017 02:21 PM (Yl6kS)

179 157 If this movie were called Luke Skywalker, then bad acting really wouldn't be a big deal.
Posted by: xxxxxxx at June 30, 2017 02:18 PM (UR1d6)

I thought Hamil's acting was terrible in the first movie, but by the third he'd actually upped his game quite a bit. He'll probably never be remembered as the world's greatest actor, but he was fine.

Posted by: Ace's liver at June 30, 2017 02:21 PM (Xuv2G)

180 Stock floor wench Nicole Petallides showing some nice cleavage in her solid blue dress.

Posted by: anchorbabe fashion cop at June 30, 2017 02:21 PM (8iiMU)

181 It'd be a shame if a Disney/Marvel/ABC/ESPN venture tanked.

***

How horrible. How will I know which virtues I should adapt and signal this week?

Posted by: andrew jarbacka at June 30, 2017 02:22 PM (0Ul4W)

182 5. The Jedi Wore Tennis Shoes

Posted by: Pug Mahon, Cranky-pants at June 30, 2017 02:22 PM (RwwCT)

183 >>No actor with a name like Ehrenreich can play Hand Solo. And the kid needs a better agent. He's all wrong fro the part.

He has connections (per IMDB): "Discovered by Steven Spielberg at the Bat Mitzvah of a friend of Spielberg's daughter.

Posted by: Lizzy at June 30, 2017 02:22 PM (NOIQH)

184
Posted by: CNN Furniture Dept

You could reboot Soylent Green.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at June 30, 2017 02:22 PM (IqV8l)

185 The Force Awakens was awful; it just looked better than the prequels. Killed my interest in these movies.

Yeah it was the kind of movie that made you say "wow" visually, but that's all it had. EVERYTHING Abrams does is that way. If you step back and think about it, none of it makes sense or works.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at June 30, 2017 02:22 PM (39g3+)

186 Whispery NPR-type voice:

"In today's episode, the role of the couch will be played by Brian Dennehy."

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 30, 2017 02:23 PM (PY9jH)

187 6. The Shaggy Darth
7. The absent minded Jedi

Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Profoundly Unserious at June 30, 2017 02:23 PM (npdX6)

188 Hamill's a great voice actor, though. If you're going to make a living in that stupid game, thats the way to do it.

Posted by: Chupacabra at June 30, 2017 02:24 PM (6QtJv)

189 Star Trek suffered from JJ Abrams who takes the traits of certain characters and turns them up to 11 without understanding the characters. I think Beyond is actually the best of the three recent movies. Discovery is going to SJW itself into oblivion.
Posted by: WOPR - Nationalist at June 30, 2017 02:18 PM (J70i0)

Abrams turned Star Trek into Transformers. His stuff is fairly entertaining, but it isn't Trek.

Posted by: Ace's liver at June 30, 2017 02:24 PM (Xuv2G)

190 Mrs Lurker and I are finally relaxing in Cancun after a long flight. What's Spanish for flight delayed?

Posted by: Northernlurker at June 30, 2017 02:24 PM (TisfY)

191 I thought Hamil's acting was terrible in the first movie, but by the third he'd actually upped his game quite a bit. He'll probably never be remembered as the world's greatest actor, but he was fine.

Posted by: Ace's liver at June 30, 2017 02:21 PM (Xuv2G)

He will be remembered as the world's greatest Joker.

And really, I don't know about him being bad in the original. He was whiny. So really he does wind up showing growth through the trilogy. Whiny farm boy to Jedi walking in unarmed to Jabba's.

Posted by: buzzion at June 30, 2017 02:24 PM (cAnNx)

192 Hamill will be remembered for voice acting.

Posted by: Boulder terlit hobo at June 30, 2017 02:24 PM (UWJQH)

193 "Acting couch"? How wonderfully Freudian!

Posted by: csmats at June 30, 2017 02:24 PM (X5VFN)

194 There are a handful of roguish actors, but they don't look like Han Solo. I could see a (younger) Nathan Fillion, even Ryan Reynolds or Paul Rudd or Chris Pratt -- but none of them look or act like Harrison Ford. They could do charming, smarmy, cocksure, likable, though.

Maybe they should have gone for someone who could have been Han Solo instead of someone they want to imitate Harrison Ford. (This goes double for the costume department.)

Posted by: sunny-dee at June 30, 2017 02:25 PM (QAOZh)

195 "In today's episode, the role of the couch will be played by Brian Dennehy."

Han, "That's a big couch..."

Luke, "I've got a bad feeling about this."

Obi-wan, "That's no couch."

Han, "Elmo! Get us out of here!"

Posted by: Anna Puma at June 30, 2017 02:25 PM (Yl6kS)

196 Those responsible for sacking the people who have just been sacked have been sacked

Posted by: Akten Di Wik at June 30, 2017 02:25 PM (L79gM)

197 so, you're saying the problem is the guy isn't harrison ford. Sure, we'll just coach that up./

Posted by: andrew jarbacka at June 30, 2017 02:25 PM (0Ul4W)

198 190 Mrs Lurker and I are finally relaxing in Cancun after a long flight. What's Spanish for flight delayed?
Posted by: Northernlurker at June 30, 2017 02:24 PM (T

Frontiero Airlineso?

Posted by: Chupacabra at June 30, 2017 02:25 PM (6QtJv)

199 Only Hollywood/Disney could Fuck up Star Wars. Everything since ROTJ has sucked. Maybe the last one gets a pass. Maybe.

Posted by: USNtakim at June 30, 2017 02:25 PM (zZWkn)

200
Mrs Lurker and I are finally relaxing in Cancun after a long flight. What's Spanish for flight delayed?

Posted by: Northernlurker at June 30, 2017 02:24 PM (TisfY)

My Spanish is a bit rusty. "Fucktrasado?"

Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 30, 2017 02:26 PM (PY9jH)

201 190 Mrs Lurker and I are finally relaxing in Cancun after a long flight. What's Spanish for flight delayed?
Posted by: Northernlurker at June 30, 2017 02:24 PM (TisfY)

Obamacare.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 30, 2017 02:26 PM (mbhDw)

202 Han Solo just crashed on the 405 again, I thought.

Posted by: Boss Moss at June 30, 2017 02:26 PM (LjR2k)

203 What's Spanish for flight delayed?
Posted by: Northernlurker at June 30, 2017 02:24 PM (TisfY)
______

aireo lato?

Posted by: IP at June 30, 2017 02:26 PM (UmSfZ)

204 190 Mrs Lurker and I are finally relaxing in Cancun after a long flight. What's Spanish for flight delayed?

United?

Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Profoundly Unserious at June 30, 2017 02:26 PM (npdX6)

205 ST: Beyond was THE BEST of the Trek movies because everyone (finally) ditched the impersonations and the lens flares and just made an Original Trek movie with recast actors.

::fistbumps WOPR::

Posted by: sunny-dee at June 30, 2017 02:26 PM (QAOZh)

206 154 Soft whispery NPR-type voice:

"The role of the couch will be played by.."
Posted by: Jane D'oh at June 30, 2017 02:17 PM (PY9jH)

. . . Jerry Lewis.

Posted by: J.J. Sefton at June 30, 2017 02:27 PM (mbhDw)

207 What's Spanish for flight delayed?

Manana??

Posted by: Anna Puma at June 30, 2017 02:27 PM (Yl6kS)

208 190 Mrs Lurker and I are finally relaxing in Cancun after a long flight. What's Spanish for flight delayed?

Posted by: Northernlurker at June 30, 2017 02:24 PM

Spanish? I thought Cancun was in Mexico.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at June 30, 2017 02:27 PM (Mouru)

209 194 There are a handful of roguish actors, but they don't look like Han Solo. I could see a (younger) Nathan Fillion, even Ryan Reynolds or Paul Rudd or Chris Pratt -- but none of them look or act like Harrison Ford. They could do charming, smarmy, cocksure, likable, though.

Maybe they should have gone for someone who could have been Han Solo instead of someone they want to imitate Harrison Ford. (This goes double for the costume department.)
Posted by: sunny-dee at June 30, 2017 02:25 PM (QAOZh)

I got my own gig now.

Posted by: Shia La Bouffanteandwhatnot at June 30, 2017 02:27 PM (L79gM)

210 194 There are a handful of roguish actors, but they don't look like Han Solo. I could see a (younger) Nathan Fillion, even Ryan Reynolds or Paul Rudd or Chris Pratt -- but none of them look or act like Harrison Ford. They could do charming, smarmy, cocksure, likable, though.

Maybe they should have gone for someone who could have been Han Solo instead of someone they want to imitate Harrison Ford. (This goes double for the costume department.)
Posted by: sunny-dee at June 30, 2017 02:25 PM (QAOZh)

Nathan Fillon from 20 years ago would have been perfect.

Posted by: Ace's liver at June 30, 2017 02:27 PM (Xuv2G)

211 No mas.

Posted by: Boss Moss at June 30, 2017 02:27 PM (LjR2k)

212 I admit my mind went to the gutter on reading "acting couch"

Posted by: votermom pimping great books at June 30, 2017 02:27 PM (hMwEB)

213 Christopher Taylor brings up a good point. We're still recycling Star Trek and Star Wars.

My theory: we are too frightened and neutered by political correctness to produce anything as fresh and groundbreaking as either of those franchises.

The next big sci fi thing will probably be some Muslim sci-fi. Muslim astronauts fly to another galaxy, find a planet populated with peaceful inhabitants and slaughter and subjugate them until they convert to Islam. The exact *reverse* of the Star Trek prime directive.

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at June 30, 2017 02:28 PM (xAvrH)

214 What's Spanish for flight delayed?

-----

El drivo yourselfo

Posted by: fixerupper at June 30, 2017 02:28 PM (8XRCm)

215 190
Mrs Lurker and I are finally relaxing in Cancun after a long flight. What's Spanish for flight delayed?

Posted by: Northernlurker at June 30, 2017 02:24 PM (TisfY)
Have fun and stay safe.

Posted by: IC at June 30, 2017 02:28 PM (a0IVu)

216 Muslim astronauts fly to another galaxy, find a planet populated with peaceful inhabitants and slaughter and subjugate them until they convert to Islam.

-----

Dune.

Did it.

Posted by: fixerupper at June 30, 2017 02:29 PM (8XRCm)

217 The guy that was in Burn Notice might make a good Han Solo

Posted by: WhatWhatWhat? at June 30, 2017 02:29 PM (ul9CR)

218

wife and I are finally relaxing after a long fight

heckler from the audience shouts out

"how long was it?"

Posted by: Han Solo does Star Wars Promo at June 30, 2017 02:29 PM (m9X4Y)

219
The next big sci fi thing will probably be some Muslim sci-fi. Muslim astronauts fly to another galaxy, find a planet populated with peaceful inhabitants and slaughter and subjugate them until they convert to Islam. The exact *reverse* of the Star Trek prime directive.
Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at June 30, 2017 02:28 PM (xAvrH)

Soooo, what you're saying is that Muslims are Klingons?

Posted by: cornbred at June 30, 2017 02:30 PM (L79gM)

220 I know this is out of the box but what about Sylvester Stallone as Hans Solo?

Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Profoundly Unserious at June 30, 2017 02:30 PM (npdX6)

221

These new SW and ST movies have all stunk like a wookie fart.

Awful acting, awful stories, dumbness infused densely into every frame.

This guy, how did he get the part if he couldn't act?

Oh...right.

I saw the Force Awakens, almost walked out. Can't remember a single thing about it but how absolutely stupid everyone and everything was.

I'll never forgive those RLM guys for not savaging it. It was awful.

F movies!

Posted by: Rev Dr E Buzzy at June 30, 2017 02:30 PM (0WCz5)

222 Wasn't Solo just a common smuggler with sassy gob? I mean, he consorts with a gibbering monkey man for fuck's sake.

Posted by: Fritz at June 30, 2017 02:30 PM (2Mnv1)

223
El drivo yourselfo
Posted by: fixerupper at June 30, 2017 02:28 PM (8XRCm)

No en Mexico

Posted by: Deplorable Male Logic at June 30, 2017 02:31 PM (lKyWE)

224 Freudian slip alert in headline

acting Couch

Posted by: simplemind at June 30, 2017 02:31 PM (mOFZA)

225 213 Christopher Taylor brings up a good point. We're still recycling Star Trek and Star Wars.

My theory: we are too frightened and neutered by political correctness to produce anything as fresh and groundbreaking as either of those franchises.

The next big sci fi thing will probably be some Muslim sci-fi. Muslim astronauts fly to another galaxy, find a planet populated with peaceful inhabitants and slaughter and subjugate them until they convert to Islam. The exact *reverse* of the Star Trek prime directive.
Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at June 30, 2017 02:28 PM (xAvrH)

They're recycling everything, though. Not just sci fi. Somewhere along the line the money types in Hollywood realized teenagers are their big target audience and teens don't go back and watch old movies. There's no reason to do anything new - you just keep rehashing the stuff that works with each new generation.

Posted by: Ace's liver at June 30, 2017 02:31 PM (Xuv2G)

226 Bantha poodoo.

Posted by: Boss Moss at June 30, 2017 02:31 PM (LjR2k)

227 >>>5 Get my man Chris Pratt (from Jurassic World) to play Han Solo. And Indiana Jones, too. Problem solved

and a young mitch rapp too

Posted by: concrete girl at June 30, 2017 02:31 PM (EqvVS)

228 Freudian slip alert in headline

acting Couch
Posted by: simplemind at June 30, 2017 02:31 PM (mOFZA)

-----

Zomigod.

Thanks for pointing that out. We all missed it.

Posted by: fixerupper at June 30, 2017 02:32 PM (8XRCm)

229 Freudian slip alert in headline

acting Couch
Posted by: simplemind at June 30, 2017 02:31 PM (mOFZA)

Hmm. I'm surprised nobody noticed it until now.

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at June 30, 2017 02:32 PM (Mouru)

230 Han to Greedo, "Even I get boarded sometimes."

"Over my dead body, ... I bet." Then Han shot Greedo first.

Posted by: Anna Puma at June 30, 2017 02:32 PM (Yl6kS)

231 220 I know this is out of the box but what about Sylvester Stallone as Hans Solo?
Posted by: Jukin the Deplorable and Profoundly Unserious at June 30, 2017 02:30 PM (npdX6)

Leeeeeeeeeiaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Posted by: Ace's liver at June 30, 2017 02:32 PM (Xuv2G)

232 I'm working on this fabulous treatment, I call it "Solo, the Gay Blade!"

Posted by: George Hamilton at June 30, 2017 02:32 PM (L79gM)

233 The next big sci fi thing will probably be some Muslim sci-fi. Muslim astronauts fly to another galaxy, find a planet populated with peaceful inhabitants and slaughter and subjugate them until they convert to Islam. The exact *reverse* of the Star Trek prime directive.
Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at June 30, 2017 02:28 PM (xAvrH)

They already did it.

Chronicles of Riddick.

Posted by: buzzion at June 30, 2017 02:32 PM (cAnNx)

234 And Firefly only got one movie. One stinking movie.

Posted by: Anna Puma at June 30, 2017 02:33 PM (Yl6kS)

235 233 The next big sci fi thing will probably be some Muslim sci-fi. Muslim astronauts fly to another galaxy, find a planet populated with peaceful inhabitants and slaughter and subjugate them until they convert to Islam. The exact *reverse* of the Star Trek prime directive.
Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at June 30, 2017 02:28 PM (xAvrH)

They already did it.

Chronicles of Riddick.

*****

They already did it.

Chronicles of Riddick.

Posted by: andrew jarbacka at June 30, 2017 02:34 PM (0Ul4W)

236 The young Kurt Russel CGI magic in Guardians 2 was hugely better than in Tron.

Posted by: BourbonChicken at June 30, 2017 02:34 PM (VdICR)

237 What's Spanish for flight delayed?

el late-o plane-o.

Posted by: OregonMuse, AoSHQ Thought Leader at June 30, 2017 02:34 PM (NwEWw)

238 Not being a good actor sounds perfect to be Harrison Ford.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at June 30, 2017 02:35 PM (oVJmc)

239 Yeah as much as I like Dune, it really is a big Jihad fantasy

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at June 30, 2017 02:35 PM (39g3+)

240 I'm not first, and I don't care.

Posted by: Bossy Conservative....outlaw in America at June 30, 2017 02:35 PM (RFeQD)

241 "My theory: we are too frightened and neutered by political correctness to produce anything as fresh and groundbreaking as either of those franchises."

That's a big part of it.
Also nepotism, a closed culture, and too much "management".

Scarier is the historical view, where decay in the arts seems to be a symptom of a society declining.

Posted by: sock_rat_eez, they are gaslighting us 24/7 at June 30, 2017 02:35 PM (IMGcI)

242 The studio's need to get over this sequel after segway after re-imagined prequel backstory alternative retelling of a great movie classic.

You had a winner.

Now find some young talent, and do something completely different.

Posted by: Set Dresser gives acting advice at June 30, 2017 02:36 PM (m9X4Y)

243 and a young mitch rapp too
Posted by: concrete girl at June 30, 2017 02:31 PM (EqvVS)

----

I am NOT going to go see that movie. I have all these visuals of Mitch and Irene Kennedy and Stan Hurley and Stansfield all in my head and they are NOT going to be replaced by nancy boy Dylan Obrien and MICHAEL FUCKING KEATON.

Hurley is NOT anything like MICHAEL FUCKING KEATON.

Posted by: fixerupper at June 30, 2017 02:36 PM (8XRCm)

244 Everybody's working for the weekend!

45 minutes to go. Then I'm gettin' schnockered.

Posted by: WhatWhatWhat? at June 30, 2017 02:36 PM (ul9CR)

245 216 Muslim astronauts fly to another galaxy, find a planet populated with peaceful inhabitants and slaughter and subjugate them until they convert to Islam.

-----

Dune.

Did it.
Posted by: fixerupper at June 30, 2017 02:29 PM (8XRCm)

----------------

OR, they find out the planet they've discovered is the actual muzzie heaven with all of the virgins. Except they find that a race of infidels have discovered it first and have fucked all the virgins.

Posted by: Soona at June 30, 2017 02:36 PM (Fmupd)

246 The guy that was in Burn Notice might make a good Han Solo

Posted by: WhatWhatWhat? at June 30, 2017 02:29 PM (ul9CR)

Jeffrey Donovan, the guy that was in Burn Notice is a good actor. I saw him in a mutated zombie flick called 'Extinction' a while back and he was really good.

Of course, me liking an actor is like the kiss of death for their careers. If I like an actor or actress, they disappear from the screen. If I like a TV show Poof! Gone.

Firefly ending for no good reason? I blame myself.

Posted by: troyriser at June 30, 2017 02:36 PM (Fw5cQ)

247 Replacing the editor at this stage in the process says a lot about the whole production - from script to blocking &c.

Posted by: 13times at June 30, 2017 02:37 PM (WHVu+)

248 234 And Firefly only got one movie. One stinking movie.
Posted by: Anna Puma at June 30, 2017 02:33 PM (Yl6kS)

I loved it too, but for Wheadon it was a big waste of time - he pretty much covered production costs and that was it. Like most of his stuff, Firefly developed a rabid fan base that was just too small to support further projects.

I'll bet Tudyk made more off of Con Man.

Posted by: Ace's liver at June 30, 2017 02:37 PM (Xuv2G)

249 it's a davino

(HLOTS reference)

Posted by: concrete girl at June 30, 2017 02:37 PM (EqvVS)

250 Soooo, what you're saying is that Muslims are Klingons? Posted by: cornbred at June 30, 2017 02:30 PM (L79gM)

Noi ji' Tat! Klingons have displayed the competence required to reach into space.

Posted by: BourbonChicken at June 30, 2017 02:37 PM (VdICR)

251 Jeffrey Donovan, the guy that was in Burn Notice

Thanks, I was drawing a blank on his name.

Posted by: WhatWhatWhat? at June 30, 2017 02:37 PM (ul9CR)

252 239 Yeah as much as I like Dune, it really is a big Jihad fantasy
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at June 30, 2017 02:35 PM (39g3+)

No shit. Did Frank Herbert have any kind of Islamic connection ?

Posted by: ScoggDog at June 30, 2017 02:37 PM (tRLIC)

253 OR, they find out the planet they've discovered is the actual muzzie heaven with all of the virgins. Except they find that a race of infidels have discovered it first and have fucked all the virgins.

Posted by: Soona at June 30, 2017 02:36 PM (Fmupd)

-----

I *really* admire the way your mind works....

Posted by: fixerupper at June 30, 2017 02:37 PM (8XRCm)

254 What's Spanish for flight delayed?
...........

El bano necesito mucho limpieza

Posted by: wth at June 30, 2017 02:37 PM (HgMAr)

255 I know who could play his copilot.

Posted by: Boss Moss at June 30, 2017 02:38 PM (LjR2k)

256 Seems so easy. Go to any military base. Find arrogant, handsome guy. Have him prepped and acting as well as tons of crappy musicians do constantly.

There's your Han Solo.

Posted by: Hate Has No Homo at June 30, 2017 02:38 PM (c2K1w)

257 What kind of acting couch did they get him? I hope it's leather.

And isn't it too late at this point? They way the story reads most of the movie is already done.

Posted by: Agent Cooper at June 30, 2017 02:38 PM (INRVS)

258 well, Rogue One was almost good.
Posted by: Boulder terlit hobo

Yeah, it was kind of funny and watchable, and then it turned into a real thriller in the last act.

"The Force Awakens" was.......borrrrrrring.

Posted by: Bossy Conservative....outlaw in America at June 30, 2017 02:38 PM (RFeQD)

259 as for this movie: it is a well established fact that the Star Wars fans is made up of dolts who buy paste in bulk at the concessions. i can see why Da Mouse feels it can part them from their cheddar. since Disney will be making money anyway, it seems a waste of effort to improve on this cynical Han venture.

Posted by: Boulder terlit hobo at June 30, 2017 02:38 PM (MOwG6)

260 Jeffrey Donovan, the guy that was in Burn Notice is a good actor. I saw him in a mutated zombie flick called 'Extinction' a while back and he was really good.

He is really, really good but he's physically all wrong for Han Solo. Very talented, versatile actor that really should get more work.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at June 30, 2017 02:38 PM (39g3+)

261 Kevin Conroy and Mark Hamill are like the peanut butter and chocolate of the Batman universe voice acting world. Yeah, yeah, something like that.

Posted by: Max Power at June 30, 2017 02:38 PM (q177U)

262 45 minutes to go. Then I'm gettin' schnockered.
Posted by: WhatWhatWhat? at June 30, 2017 02:36 PM (ul9CR)
______

Solo cup?

Posted by: IP at June 30, 2017 02:39 PM (UmSfZ)

263 190 Mrs Lurker and I are finally relaxing in Cancun after a long flight. What's Spanish for flight delayed?

Posted by: Northernlurker at June 30, 2017 02:24 PM (TisfY)

El bono

Posted by: Under Fire at June 30, 2017 02:39 PM (l4aLi)

264 Dune becomes awesome when you realise Paul has become the villain.

Posted by: Boulder terlit hobo at June 30, 2017 02:40 PM (MOwG6)

265 Jeffrey Donovan, the guy that was in Burn Noti

***

bit long in the tooth now, eh?

what age solo they going for?

but sure, he's fun as "when you're a spy" so "when you're a smuggler..." should be ok too.

Posted by: andrew jarbacka at June 30, 2017 02:40 PM (0Ul4W)

266 258 well, Rogue One was almost good.
Posted by: Boulder terlit hobo

Yeah, it was kind of funny and watchable, and then it turned into a real thriller in the last act.

***8

I liked it better when it was called: "Halo: Fall of Reach"

Posted by: andrew jarbacka at June 30, 2017 02:41 PM (0Ul4W)

267 >>>What's Spanish for flight delayed?<<<

Tequila Sunrise.

Posted by: Fritz at June 30, 2017 02:41 PM (2Mnv1)

268 >>>What's Spanish for flight delayed?

'mexico time'

Posted by: concrete girl at June 30, 2017 02:41 PM (EqvVS)

269 Couldn't they find someone at the Viper Room?

Posted by: Boss Moss at June 30, 2017 02:41 PM (LjR2k)

270
OR, they find out the planet they've discovered is the actual muzzie heaven with all of the virgins. Except they find that a race of infidels have discovered it first and have fucked all the virgins.

Posted by: Soona

Vikings, the sequel

Posted by: Jean at June 30, 2017 02:41 PM (Tmizd)

271 In development:

1. The Shaggy Wookkiee D.A.
2. The Nutty Emperor
3. Steamboat Kenobi
4. Boba Fett and the Seven Jawas

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at June 30, 2017 02:20 PM (Mouru)

That Darned Droid

Posted by: TheQuietMan at June 30, 2017 02:42 PM (493sH)

272 264 Dune becomes awesome when you realise Paul has become the villain.
Posted by: Boulder terlit hobo at June 30, 2017 02:40 PM (MOwG6)

And spent all his time himming and hawing while the empire burns.

Leto II is the hero, Duncan the antihero.

Posted by: Chupacabra at June 30, 2017 02:42 PM (6QtJv)

273 Alden Eichenreich IS Clinton Spillsbury, IN...

Posted by: richard mcenroe at June 30, 2017 02:42 PM (JkSZW)

274 I don't mind any Joss Whedon project cratering. The guy is insufferable and vastly overrated. He's one of those clever writers that puts the same dialog in every character's mouth. They're interchangable, differently shaped, but all the same character. Except the waif can beat all the big guys up.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at June 30, 2017 02:43 PM (39g3+)

275 I enjoy the Riddick series. More entertaining than all the Star Wars stuff outside of the original trilogy.

Posted by: Acting Sybian at June 30, 2017 02:43 PM (2qHjF)

276 Just ponder if R2D2 can hack the garbage disposals why not have him plant a self destruct command... but there goes the drama of the idiotic trench run.

Posted by: Anna Puma at June 30, 2017 02:43 PM (Yl6kS)

277 That's a big part of it.
Also nepotism, a closed culture, and too much "management

---

Whenever I see a new actor or actress in a big role I ALWAYS ask my wife who they're related to. If she doesn't know we check the internet.

It's becoming an irritating game. Similar to all the good stories that are out here waiting to never be a movie that would only cost $1M while we get 37 Transformers, imagine how many talented, beautiful kids are out there who would gladly work for $50k.

Posted by: Hate Has No Homo at June 30, 2017 02:43 PM (c2K1w)

278 272 264 Dune becomes awesome when you realise Paul has become the villain.
Posted by: Boulder terlit hobo at June 30, 2017 02:40 PM (MOwG6)

And spent all his time himming and hawing while the empire burns.

Leto II is the hero, Duncan the antihero.

***

wait, is the thing in the bucket?

Posted by: andrew jarbacka at June 30, 2017 02:43 PM (0Ul4W)

279
Wasn't Solo just a common smuggler with sassy gob? I mean, he consorts with a gibbering monkey man for fuck's sake.
Posted by: Fritz

Monkey men all
In business suit
Teachers and critics
All dance the poot
Are we not men?
We are devo!

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at June 30, 2017 02:44 PM (IqV8l)

280 What's Spanish for flight delayed?

Normal

Posted by: Jean at June 30, 2017 02:44 PM (Tmizd)

281 277 That's a big part of it.
Also nepotism, a closed culture, and too much "management

---

Whenever I see a new actor or actress in a big role I ALWAYS ask my wife who they're related to. If she doesn't know we check the internet.

***

actually, I do the same thing.

only, the game is called "who'se illegitimate kid is that"

Tom Cruise fucks, man.

Posted by: andrew jarbacka at June 30, 2017 02:44 PM (0Ul4W)

282 Why does everyone at the library smell like a Goodwill?

Posted by: Boss Moss at June 30, 2017 02:44 PM (LjR2k)

283 but there goes the drama of the idiotic trench run.
Posted by: Anna Puma at June 30, 2017 02:43 PM (Yl6kS)

Stay on target....

Posted by: IP at June 30, 2017 02:45 PM (UmSfZ)

284 I stopped watching Jurassic World about half way through. It was... boring. How do you make a movie about gigantic dinosaurs rampaging around boring?

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at June 30, 2017 02:45 PM (39g3+)

285 Kept shooting first. They got a finger acting coach.

He got the nickname Quick Draw McGraw.

Always get CGI to replace his gunslinger arm.

Maybe his time at the Gary Cooper Acting Institute was unwise.

Posted by: Headless Body of Agnew at June 30, 2017 02:45 PM (kIxPI)

286 Whenever I see a new actor or actress in a big role I ALWAYS ask my wife who they're related to. If she doesn't know we check the internet.

It's becoming an irritating game. Similar to all the good stories that are out here waiting to never be a movie that would only cost $1M while we get 37 Transformers, imagine how many talented, beautiful kids are out there who would gladly work for $50k.
Posted by: Hate Has No Homo at June 30, 2017 02:43 PM (c2K1w)

Well, you can't screw the kids anymore, so how else are you going to decide who gets roles?

Posted by: Chupacabra at June 30, 2017 02:45 PM (6QtJv)

287 The Force Awakens was ruined the moment they needed to import a black guy onto a sun-baked desert planet filled with pale white people.

Posted by: Hate Has No Homo at June 30, 2017 02:45 PM (c2K1w)

288 They already did it.

Chronicles of Riddick.

Posted by: buzzion

I saw Pitch Black and studiously avoided anything with Vin Diesel in it ever since. But based on the wikipedia summary - I agree.

@fixerupper - forgot about Dune. I still have trouble associating the name 'Herbert' with Islamic culture.

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at June 30, 2017 02:45 PM (xAvrH)

289 Firefly dialogue and story were good because of Tim Minear.

Posted by: Boulder terlit hobo at June 30, 2017 02:45 PM (MOwG6)

290 It's becoming an irritating game. Similar to all the good stories that are out here waiting to never be a movie that would only cost $1M while we get 37 Transformers, imagine how many talented, beautiful kids are out there who would gladly work for $50k.
Posted by: Hate Has No Homo at June 30, 2017 02:43 PM (c2K1w)

Make that a cool 5 million and we have a deal.

Posted by: Beautiful Kids at June 30, 2017 02:46 PM (Fmupd)

291 Lawrence Kasdan wrote V and VI, and is said to have worked on IV.

Also Raiders, and Body Heat, and The Big Chill, all in three years.

And then seemingly dropped off the face of the Earth,

Posted by: Ignoramus at June 30, 2017 02:46 PM (+7/1f)

292 The guy that was in Burn Notice might make a good Han Solo Posted by: WhatWhatWhat? at June 30, 2017 02:29 PM (ul9CR)

Bruce Campbell? Bruce Campbell. I'm going to assume you were talking about Bruce Campbell. I want to see Bruce Campbell raise a shotgun over his shoulder behind him and blow away Greedo. Then gasp and shiver from the deep, almost sexual, satisfaction of killing baddies.

Posted by: BourbonChicken at June 30, 2017 02:46 PM (VdICR)

293 "They got Larry, they got Hutch."

Posted by: Anna Puma at June 30, 2017 02:46 PM (Yl6kS)

294 To the career men & women at DOJ/FBI: your actions and integrity will be unfairly questioned. Be prepared, be strong. Duty. Honor. Country.

--Eric Holder (@EricHolder)

Posted by: Under Fire at June 30, 2017 02:46 PM (l4aLi)

295 "And then seemingly dropped off the face of the Earth, "

Cocaine is a hell of a drug.

Posted by: Zombie Rick James at June 30, 2017 02:47 PM (+7/1f)

296 Or Leto II was the hero, Duncan merely a cats paw.

Every rebel's an aristocrat. Herbert had some serious insight.

Posted by: Chupacabra at June 30, 2017 02:47 PM (6QtJv)

297 if R2D2 can hack the garbage disposals why not have him plant a self destruct command

Maybe for the first time in science fiction history, they built a huge, expensive, massively complicated technological triumph and didn't rig it to blow its self up?

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at June 30, 2017 02:47 PM (39g3+)

298 I'd like to say that I don't care about a Han Solo movie.

It's a prequel, and prequels have an inherent flaw: no one who appears in any later movies is going to die, so there's pretty much zero suspense.

Posted by: BeckoningChasm at June 30, 2017 02:47 PM (MZcWR)

299 "Cocaine is a hell of a drug."

Not as good as cocaine, heroin, fetanyl and ecstasy.

Posted by: Zombie Carrie Fisher at June 30, 2017 02:47 PM (+7/1f)

300 "They got Larry, they got Hutch."
Posted by: Anna Puma at June 30, 2017 02:46 PM (Yl6kS)
____

Stay on target...

Posted by: IP at June 30, 2017 02:47 PM (UmSfZ)

301 Holder is shadow FBI director now, I see

Posted by: Boulder terlit hobo at June 30, 2017 02:48 PM (MOwG6)

302 >>>190 Mrs Lurker and I are finally relaxing in Cancun after a long flight.

And you are posting on AoSHq. That's so sweet!

Posted by: m at June 30, 2017 02:48 PM (VgThI)

303 Make that a cool 5 million and we have a deal.

Posted by: Beautiful Kids at June 30, 2017 02:46 PM (Fmupd)

---

Heck, like racing or any ball game, let talented 10%ers know that they can play what they love for a middle class wage and you'd have applicants lining up around the block.

Posted by: Hate Has No Homo at June 30, 2017 02:48 PM (c2K1w)

304
All Star Wars dialogue, all the time from here on out.

I hear there is a Death Star in System X.

We need to destroy it before it becomes fully operational!

My Spidey-sense will lead us to it!

Look, there's that same ol', same ol' obligatory exhaust port Achilles Heel!

Bombs away!

* raucous and raunchy interspecies celebratory groping *

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at June 30, 2017 02:48 PM (MKKaE)

305 what drugs *wasn't* Carrie on?

Posted by: Boulder terlit hobo at June 30, 2017 02:48 PM (MOwG6)

306 Lawrence Kasdan wrote V and VI, and is said to have worked on IV.

Also Raiders, and Body Heat, and The Big Chill, all in three years.

And then seemingly dropped off the face of the Earth,
Posted by: Ignoramus

I'd cash that check and you'd need a Presidential Finding to start looking for me.

Posted by: Jean at June 30, 2017 02:49 PM (Tmizd)

307 * raucous and raunchy interspecies celebratory groping *

don't pick up the Ewoks, they bite.

Posted by: IP at June 30, 2017 02:49 PM (UmSfZ)

308 "James Bond doesn't work anymore."

Nope. Worked better when Great Britain at least aspired to be a great power and actually celebrated its unique culture, history and people. Post modern Great Britain has killed all that. Now the concept of a British super spy saving the world is about as ridiculous as a Belgian spy making the world save for...whatever the fuck they believe in.

I'm also baffled by the people who think Daniel Craig is a good 007. He has zero chemistry with any of his female leads and his performances are all suffocatingly joyless.

Posted by: Ernie McConfeve at June 30, 2017 02:49 PM (h+96F)

309 We have them.

Posted by: Admiral Porkins at June 30, 2017 02:50 PM (LjR2k)

310 as ridiculous as a Belgian spy making the world save for...

Retirement?

Posted by: IP at June 30, 2017 02:51 PM (UmSfZ)

311 carrie fisher in a bikini and it was like none of the Star Wars Kids had ever seen a woman in a bikini before.

Sad.

Posted by: Set Dresser gives acting advice at June 30, 2017 02:51 PM (m9X4Y)

312 I read that as Ham Solo...

Posted by: Tilikum KAW at June 30, 2017 02:51 PM (0x/TW)

313 joyless is the perfect word for Daniel Craig

Posted by: votermom pimping great books at June 30, 2017 02:51 PM (hMwEB)

314 Nood

Posted by: Anna Puma at June 30, 2017 02:51 PM (Yl6kS)

315 176 "You can NEVER push too hard."

That was what Barry always used to say.
Posted by: Reggie Love at June 30, 2017 02:21 PM (npdX6)

What I hated about pushing too hard was the poop noodles.

Posted by: Barry Sotero at June 30, 2017 02:52 PM (A3b6q)

316 312 I read that as Ham Solo...

Posted by: Tilikum KAW at June 30, 2017 02:51 PM (0x/TW)

Sounds like a perfect Moron recipe

Posted by: Under Fire at June 30, 2017 02:52 PM (l4aLi)

317 Firefly had a few lame episodes for such a short run. EP War Stories was a fun, and the commentary track for it is better than some of the actual episodes.

Serenity was okay because it wrapped the story. Certainly not an 8/10 film. Gilligan got off the island.. so to speak.

The death scene with Ron Glass? cringe worthy.

Posted by: 13times at June 30, 2017 02:52 PM (WHVu+)

318 Bruce Campbell? Bruce Campbell. I'm going to assume you were talking about Bruce Campbell. I want to see Bruce Campbell raise a shotgun over his shoulder behind him and blow away Greedo.
Posted by: BourbonChicken at June 30, 2017 02:46 PM (VdICR)

----------------

Then start laughing and ask the people in front of him, "Did his head explode? Huh? Huh? Did his head explode"?

Posted by: Soona at June 30, 2017 02:53 PM (Fmupd)

319 Tilikum, go watch Hardware Wars again.

Ham Salad and Chewchilla the Wookie Monster along with Fluke Starbucker, Princess Ann Droid, and Oggie-Ben Doggie Red-Eye Knight. Villain - Darth Nader.

Posted by: Anna Puma at June 30, 2017 02:53 PM (Yl6kS)

320 what drugs *wasn't* Carrie on?

According to her autopsy, very few.

Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at June 30, 2017 02:53 PM (39g3+)

321 OR, they find out the planet they've discovered is the actual muzzie heaven with all of the virgins. Except they find that a race of infidels have discovered it first and have fucked all the virgins.

Posted by: Soona

Mormonism does not have the degraded "72 virgin" shit, but they do believe that Mormon heaven means that everyone will get their own planet, and get to be a god there.

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at June 30, 2017 02:54 PM (xAvrH)

322 252 239 Yeah as much as I like Dune, it really is a big Jihad fantasy
Posted by: Christopher R Taylor at June 30, 2017 02:35 PM (39g3+)

No shit. Did Frank Herbert have any kind of Islamic connection ?
Posted by: ScoggDog at June 30, 2017 02:37 PM (tRLIC)

Considering the historical context of when the original novel was written, he was probably thinking of the Franco-Algerian War (with the Bedouin in the role of the Fremen).

Posted by: joncelli, Longbow Afficianado and Phalangist at June 30, 2017 02:54 PM (RD7QR)

323 To the career men & women at DOJ/FBI: your actions and integrity will be unfairly questioned. Be prepared, be strong. Duty. Honor. Country.

--Eric Holder (@EricHolder)

Posted by: Under Fire at June 30, 2017 02:46 PM (l4aLi)

That this fucker didn't immediately burst into flames after tweeting that is, I think, proof positive that there is no God.

Posted by: Minnie Mouse at June 30, 2017 02:55 PM (X6fMO)

324 199 Only Hollywood/Disney could Fuck up Star Wars.

Posted by: USNtakim at June 30, 2017 02:25 PM (zZWkn)

What am I? A potted plant?

Posted by: George Lucas at June 30, 2017 02:55 PM (A3b6q)

325 Speaking of Dinsey/Marvel being evil. The 4 chan autists over at pol have uncovered #Eslagate and #ped0tube. Basically a bunch of highly inapproiate simulated graphic sex and violence acts on and with kids featuring people dressed as disney and Marvel characters or animations of them. 10's and 100's of millions of hits on YouTube. YouTube will not take them down for behavior or for copyright infringement. Some of these kids companies mass producing these videos were bought by Disney in 2009 apparently.

It's real and very fucked up. I believe Rebel Media covered some of it.

Posted by: Widespread Pepe at June 30, 2017 02:56 PM (2qHjF)

326 The Force Awakens was ruined the moment they needed to import a black guy onto a sun-baked desert planet filled with pale white people.

Posted by: Hate Has No Homo at June 30, 2017 02:45 PM (c2K1w)

Was that the one with Justin Trudeau as Darth Vader Jr and the limey girl and the mostest super powerest Jedi ever?

Posted by: TheQuietMan at June 30, 2017 02:57 PM (493sH)

327 105 11 The story mentions that writer Lawrence Kasdan wasn't happy with the directors. So, in what is probably the first such event in the history of film, the directors were fired, not the writer! Whee!

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at June 30, 2017 01:47 PM (LeI1X)

Well when the writer is the guy behind Empire Strikes Back...
*
*
Sure, but that was, like, a hundred years ago, dude. Who in Hollywood remembers back that far?

Posted by: Modern Fanboi at June 30, 2017 02:57 PM (LeI1X)

328 219
The next big sci fi thing will probably be some Muslim sci-fi. Muslim astronauts fly to another galaxy, find a planet populated with peaceful inhabitants and slaughter and subjugate them until they convert to Islam. The exact *reverse* of the Star Trek prime directive.
Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at June 30, 2017 02:28 PM (xAvrH)

Soooo, what you're saying is that Muslims are Klingons?
Posted by: cornbred at June 30, 2017 02:30 PM (L79gM)

You do know why there are no Muslim's in Star Trek?

BECAUSE IT'S THE FUTURE.

Posted by: Minuteman at June 30, 2017 02:57 PM (A3b6q)

329 "They got Larry, they got Hutch."

Posted by: Anna Puma at June 30, 2017 02:46 PM (Yl6kS)

What about Starsky?

Posted by: TheQuietMan at June 30, 2017 02:58 PM (493sH)

330 How bad of an actor do you need to be to not meet the standards of Star wars

Posted by: Jean at June 30, 2017 02:58 PM (Tmizd)

331 Nope. Worked better when Great Britain at least aspired to be a great power and actually celebrated its unique culture, history and people. Post modern Great Britain has killed all that. Now the concept of a British super spy saving the world is about as ridiculous as a Belgian spy making the world save for...whatever the fuck they believe in.

You might find this book interesting: The Man with the Golden Touch: How The Bond Films Conquered The World

http://tinyurl.com/y7jtoysj

Posted by: Mary Poppins' Practically Perfect Piercing at June 30, 2017 02:59 PM (X6fMO)

332 Fuck Fox. How in the fuck do they fuck up Firefly?

Posted by: Widespread Pepe at June 30, 2017 02:59 PM (2qHjF)

333 The Oregon legislature has re-allocated $4B of road repair funds, half of the budget line item, to buy and subsidize electric cars.

Posted by: Under Fire at June 30, 2017 03:03 PM (l4aLi)

334 213 Christopher Taylor brings up a good point. We're still recycling Star Trek and Star Wars.

My theory: we are too frightened and neutered by political correctness to produce anything as fresh and groundbreaking as either of those franchises.

Around 1996-1997 or so I (unfortunately) caught a clip of some idiot commentator on CBS Snooze Sunday Morning saying that the spurt of Sci Fi shows around that time, especially those involving fighting aliens, were nothing more than us channeling our nativist attitudes against immigrants. That was perhaps the last time I saw that show.

Posted by: CatchThirtyThr33 at June 30, 2017 03:03 PM (kcQyA)

335
I thought Hamil's acting was terrible in the first movie, but by the third he'd actually upped his game quite a bit. He'll probably never be remembered as the world's greatest actor, but he was fine.
*
*
I dunno. Whenever I watch the scene in Empire when Vader lops his hand off with the light saber, Hamill's reactions make me believe Luke just really lost a hand.

Posted by: Modern Fanboi at June 30, 2017 03:06 PM (LeI1X)

336 333 The Oregon legislature has re-allocated $4B of road repair funds, half of the budget line item, to buy and subsidize electric cars.
Posted by: Under Fire at June 30, 2017 03:03 PM (l4aLi)

Oh, so Oregon is going with the Sylindra Model of covering their graft with eco-virtue signalling.

Posted by: Minuteman at June 30, 2017 03:07 PM (A3b6q)

337 Oh, so Oregon is going with the Sylindra Model of covering their graft with eco-virtue signalling.

Posted by: Minuteman at June 30, 2017 03:07 PM (A3b6q)

Yes that's right. Every time you fill up in OR know that the taxes you pay are not going to fix pot holes that a semi could fall into, you are funding little overpriced shit cars that only affluent liberal people can afford.

Posted by: Under Fire at June 30, 2017 03:13 PM (l4aLi)

338 Couch?

Ok, who didn't pay the edit button bill this month?

Posted by: I'm too sexy for my cat at June 30, 2017 03:19 PM (oneKX)

339 I remember my first role as a couch. I got rave reviews and quite a few dimes, pennies, and a couple of quarters.

Posted by: Brian Dennehy at June 30, 2017 03:24 PM (oneKX)

340 I loved the "Force Awakens" when I first saw it. Fanboy, new movie to finally erase the memory of episodes 1-3, etc.

Then I watched it again. And I now understand what everyone was complaining about.

But I did enjoy Rogue One on repeated viewings. That end scene with Vader just makes me feel funny in the pants. :Gallic shrug:

The thrill of the original trilogy is never going to be matched, obviously. But it would be nice if they could come up with an new, fresh storyline.

Posted by: Fortunato at June 30, 2017 03:47 PM (/WWMI)

341 "It'd be a shame if a Disney/Marvel/ABC/ESPN venture
tanked."

It's got Star Wars in the title. There'll be scattered showers in hell before it tanks. It could be the worst movie in the history of film and it would still clear a billion.

Posted by: Lamont Cranston at June 30, 2017 04:25 PM (3ufaJ)

342 One thing they should've gotten right was the casting. Harrison Ford is every girl's dream dude (at least for those of us of a certain age - ahem). So to cast it badly will make many of us very upset. Needs to be manly, yet lovable. Tough stoic at the right time.

I think I may stay away from this one and just re-watch Star Wars, Empires Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi...and then watch Indiana Jones the Temple of Doom and fastforward to shirtless Indy.

Sigh.

Posted by: K-E at June 30, 2017 04:49 PM (uOEHQ)

343 Not sure if someone mentioned it, but I did see a movie commentator mention that she thinks that it "leaking" that they hired an acting coach is both a way to reign in the other actors (you can get embarrassed too if you don't stick to the script) and a way for Kathleen Kennedy to wash her hands of his acting if it's not good ("I tried, I even hired him an acting coach!").

Posted by: Calas at June 30, 2017 06:24 PM (UzpUn)

344 Did anyone mention he said "Couch" instead of "Coach?"

Posted by: DinsdalePiranha at June 30, 2017 06:41 PM (pbHrc)

345 "Let it go, let it go
Han Solo ain't some stupid ho,
Let it go, let it go
Your production's a shitshow
Why don't you understand
Your head's in Tatooine sand-
The fans don't want this shit anyway..."

-/elsa'd

Posted by: Fringe at June 30, 2017 06:47 PM (HQjFY)

346 Dear Disney, I have a script for a new star wars movie. A restless young person on a desert planet finds a droid with plans for a "Death Star" that he or she must get Han Solo to help deliver to the resistance. Thanks for your consideration and the million dollars, ya fkkin idiots.

Posted by: Dirks Strewn at June 30, 2017 07:37 PM (0ecq3)

347 Don't know if it's been said, but why don't they hire Han Solo (Harrison Ford) to teach Han Solo how to be Han Solo?

Posted by: Lex at June 30, 2017 08:15 PM (Aomm5)

Processing 0.05, elapsed 0.056 seconds.
14 queries taking 0.0182 seconds, 355 records returned.
Page size 165 kb.
Powered by Minx 0.8 beta.