Man Who Choked Woman To Death With His Penis Gets Off

And also, he's been acquitted of murder.

The Florida man who claimed his girlfriend choked to death during oral sex was found not guilty of second-degree murder Monday.
Richard Patterson, 65, of Margate, was acquitted of killing 60-year-old girlfriend Francisca Marquinez in 2015 after a week-long trial, according to the Sun Sentinel.
During the trial, his lawyers initially argued that Marquinez died accidentally while performing oral sex on him at her apartment.
To bolster their defense, Patterson’s lawyers filed a motion to show his penis to the jury.

I don't believe it's possible to not know you are killing someone during oral sex.

If you read the article, you'll find the judge did not actually permit the defendant to enter his penis into evidence. You'll also find that the dead woman was so decomposed when they examined her they found it difficult to establish the precise cause of death.

Which leads me to question why she was badly decomposed when found. Was her body... hidden?

In any event, medical experts said that it was "unlikely" one could inadvertently kill a woman during oral sex, and the defense actually changed its theory of the case to (and I really don't understand this) that this is how the defendant thought she died.

"That's not the way she died," defense lawyer Ken Padowitz said."“But that’s the way Richard Patterson thought she died."

What? What the hell does this mean? Either she was deliberately strangled or accidentally suffocated by penis. If the latter is impossible, and the defense is admitting that, that only leaves the former possibility, and the defendant's claim of what he "thought" happened seems... entirely self-serving and entirely irrelevant.

And also, preoposterous.

So this guy was acquitted of murder by virtue of having a big penis -- this is some serious Privilege we have to talk about.

But I'm sure all the male readers here will jump to his defense, as I'm certain the men of Ace of Spades are similarly-situated and deal with this heavy, veiney burden as well.

Posted by: Ace at 03:03 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Firstest?

Posted by: Skip at May 24, 2017 03:04 PM (Ot7+c)

2 WTF?

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at May 24, 2017 03:04 PM (evJdV)

3 Oh yippy, how did I get so lucky, I'll get the corgis

Posted by: Skip at May 24, 2017 03:05 PM (Ot7+c)

4 gonna guess this thread will be NSFW soon

Posted by: Big V at May 24, 2017 03:05 PM (NX0K0)

5 1, I don't believe it's possible to not know you are killing someone during oral sex.

pretty old, probably dozed off for a few

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at May 24, 2017 03:06 PM (fceHP)

6 I blame out shitty legal system that allows lawyers to appoint the stupidest jurors they can find and exclude any with half a brain.

Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at May 24, 2017 03:06 PM (mpXpK)

7 He got off? That how she choked?

Posted by: Roy at May 24, 2017 03:06 PM (7n4KQ)

8 WoW! Talk about phrasing!! That Headline.. haha..

Posted by: Norman at May 24, 2017 03:06 PM (CxmoU)

9 They should have sent a poet.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at May 24, 2017 03:07 PM (ycWCI)

10 Well,you know what they say,the penis is mightier than the sword...

Posted by: steevy at May 24, 2017 03:07 PM (rmVvL)

11 I mean, it's a cool story, but he didn't actually present the "Oh Whoops Oops Oooh I Dropped My Monster Condom That I Use For My Magnum Dong" defense to the jury. He was acquitted because no cause of death could be determined.

Posted by: Masturbatin' Pete at May 24, 2017 03:07 PM (xN1DB)

12 Man Who Choked Woman To Death With His Penis Gets Off

ISWYDT

I'll bet he did, I'll bet he did.

Posted by: Grump928(c) at May 24, 2017 03:07 PM (QQ+il)

13 He must've shown the jury that Conceptual Penis paper.

Posted by: Chelsea Clinton at May 24, 2017 03:07 PM (qJhUV)

14 Maybe the feds can prosecute him for violating her civil rights by killing her.

Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at May 24, 2017 03:08 PM (mpXpK)

15 I'll choose to remember her as bridge builder.

Posted by: IP at May 24, 2017 03:08 PM (UmSfZ)

16 Isn't that how all blow jobs end?

Posted by: naive guy who doesn't realize just how gigantic his cock is at May 24, 2017 03:08 PM (DQ4Fv)

17 >>Which leads me to question why she was badly decomposed when found. Was her body... hidden?

His penis is so big it is actually bigger than his other head, so....he thought she was just napping for a really long time?!?

Posted by: Lizzy at May 24, 2017 03:08 PM (NOIQH)

18 serious Privilege

I think that was recently released on RedTube.

Posted by: Roy at May 24, 2017 03:08 PM (7n4KQ)

19 The bulbocavernosus muscle is due to report its GAINZZZ! soon.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at May 24, 2017 03:08 PM (jTUfG)

20 Hmmm.... my guess is the 'Sex Expert' who testified you can't choke a Woman during oral sex, was Peewee Herman?

Posted by: Don Q. at May 24, 2017 03:08 PM (NgKpN)

21 With two air passages, mouth and nose, how is this .............
Ok maybe.

Posted by: Skip at May 24, 2017 03:09 PM (Ot7+c)

22

"Instead, the defense argued that there was no way of knowing how she died. Medical examiners never determined the cause of death because Marquinez's body was too decomposed."

------

Ummmmmm...... somthings a little "off" on this case.

Posted by: fixerupper at May 24, 2017 03:09 PM (8XRCm)

23 "I got ya murder weapon! Right here!!!"

Posted by: Richard Patterson at May 24, 2017 03:09 PM (qJhUV)

24 To bolster their defense, Patterson's lawyers filed a motion to show his penis to the jury.

This I gotta see.

Posted by: Grump928(c) at May 24, 2017 03:09 PM (QQ+il)

25 Instead, the defense argued that there was no way of knowing how she died.

With a smile on her face and something on her chin?

Posted by: Roy at May 24, 2017 03:09 PM (7n4KQ)

26 Nope, can't see this thread going pear shaped.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at May 24, 2017 03:10 PM (kTF2Z)

27 But I'm sure all the male readers here will jump to his defense.....

Joking, right?

Posted by: Country Boy at May 24, 2017 03:10 PM (Jcg9Q)

28 Forget it Ace, it's Floridatown.

Posted by: Brother Cavil, Abbot of St. Costello-on-the-Hurlingbone at May 24, 2017 03:10 PM (AM1GF)

29 P*rnhub.com filed a "friend of the court" brief, no doubt.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at May 24, 2017 03:10 PM (jTUfG)

30 Richard Patterson, 65, of Margate, was acquitted of killing 60-year-old girlfriend Francisca Marquinez
====

ViagraCokeGeritol speedball.

Posted by: Mortimer - Finish Her! at May 24, 2017 03:10 PM (C52a9)

31 Richard, (and how appropriate), must be really packing.

Posted by: Skip at May 24, 2017 03:10 PM (Ot7+c)

32 If the penis don't fit, you must acquit!

Posted by: Lizzy at May 24, 2017 03:10 PM (NOIQH)

33 "Medical examiners never determined the cause of death because Marquinez's body was too decomposed."

So she never called him back afterwards and wanted to you know, just, talk?

Posted by: IP at May 24, 2017 03:10 PM (UmSfZ)

34 20
Hmmm.... my guess is the 'Sex Expert' who testified you can't choke a Woman during oral sex, was Peewee Herman?

Posted by: Don Q. at May 24, 2017 03:08 PM (NgKpN)

Would he be able to testify in court? After all, he did shoot someone in the back of their head.

Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at May 24, 2017 03:10 PM (jxbfJ)

35 Well, Florida.

Posted by: Strobe at May 24, 2017 03:10 PM (gbWkA)

36 Okay, apparently she was too decomposed to determine cause of death.

So I can see how a jury wouldn't convict anyone for murder without even knowing how a person died.

But Florida, good lord.

You start off putting carrots in chili, and there's no telling where you end up.

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at May 24, 2017 03:10 PM (evJdV)

37 No we have "it did fit but you must acquit..."

Posted by: H Badger at May 24, 2017 03:10 PM (n/0Nw)

38 Well why not? Boobs will get you out of a traffic ticket. Seems fair.

Posted by: Jamblaya at May 24, 2017 03:11 PM (cQhQZ)

39 So she chokes to death on his schlong, and then he leaves her to literally rot.

Florida Man is one classy superhero.

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at May 24, 2017 03:11 PM (CPk08)

40 The Defense's closing statement won the case.

'Let he who hasn't choked a woman with his enormous cod cast the first guilty vote.'

Posted by: Grump928(c) at May 24, 2017 03:11 PM (QQ+il)

41 The forensics investigators found two gallons of DNA in her lungs. No word on how it got there.

Posted by: Fritz at May 24, 2017 03:11 PM (2Mnv1)

42 It's obvious this woman was an amateur. I always encourage folks not to try this at home.

Posted by: Shep! at May 24, 2017 03:11 PM (vg8iE)

43 Caption on a T-shirt way back whenever: "I choked Linda Lovelace".

Do your own research.

Posted by: Mostly Cajun at May 24, 2017 03:11 PM (U5CmX)

44 The Legend Of Walks-With-Swing.

Posted by: Monty James at May 24, 2017 03:11 PM (gKOMX)

45
There once was a man Florida,
Who dick was so long he could...

...

...

...

...

...

I got nuthin...

Posted by: fixerupper at May 24, 2017 03:11 PM (8XRCm)

46 The guy was last seen chasing feminists dressed in those funny pink vagina costumes.

Posted by: Roy at May 24, 2017 03:11 PM (7n4KQ)

47 Did the murder occur on Election Night as Trump was being declared the winner?
Maybe he had a schadenboner that he , sadly, couldn't control....

Posted by: JoeF. at May 24, 2017 03:12 PM (7uYFy)

48 The Big Penis / Oral Sex angle is the part that grabs the headlines, but they're not even sure what her cause of death was.

Patterson, 65, faced a maximum of life in prison if convicted of the murder of Francisca Marquinez, 60. whose decomposing body was found in her condo unit Oct. 28, 2015, after Patterson reached out for help from a defense lawyer, Ken Padowitz, without calling police.

Medical experts were not certain exactly how long Marquinez was dead. She was last seen by someone other than Patterson on Oct. 25, according to trial testimony, and by the time investigators arrived her face, neck and arms had been so badly discolored that if there were bruises, no autopsy would have detected them.

But her neck bone was not broken and the cartilage around her neck was still intact, medical experts testified. Her official cause of death is undetermined.

http://www.sun-sentinel.com/local/broward/fl-reg-gag-
defense-murder-trial-closings-20170522-story.html

She was alive on 10/25, she was found on 10/28. I am surprised that she decomposed to such an extent in that short amount of time that they were unable to determine cause of death.

Whatever happened to her, it looks like the defendant's decision to put off calling the police paid off big time.

Posted by: Anon Y. Mous at May 24, 2017 03:12 PM (R+30W)

49 venue.

The justice you get is what lives in your county (more or less).

Posted by: simplemind at May 24, 2017 03:12 PM (xVRrG)

50 Snark aside, this was actually the correct verdict, because there was no clear evidence that this was murder. You as a juror must only vote to convict if the case is prove "beyond a reasonable doubt," which the prosecution failed to do.

Yeah, the guy probably killed her, but the decomposition was so bad that it's entirely possible that she did indeed die of some other medical issue -- and that he failed to report her body out of fear that he would be accused of murder. But you can't convict on "probably." You need more definitive evidence than that.

Posted by: naive guy who doesn't realize just how gigantic his cock is at May 24, 2017 03:12 PM (DQ4Fv)

51 If I was the Penis's attorney, I would be sure that it pleads the 5th and "confront" all witnesses.

Posted by: MeMyselfandI at May 24, 2017 03:13 PM (J9wxX)

52 Another story for Dana Loesch's Florida Man segment

Posted by: Skip at May 24, 2017 03:13 PM (Ot7+c)

53 Grandma Got Run Over By a Vein, Dear

Posted by: Mortimer - Finish Her! at May 24, 2017 03:13 PM (C52a9)

54 My guess is she was buried... then questions came up? so exhumed then autopsy?

Posted by: Don Q. at May 24, 2017 03:13 PM (NgKpN)

55 This post really needs a Muldoon limerick

Posted by: L, Elle at May 24, 2017 03:13 PM (Rsi2C)

56 this is the exactly why i come to this site.

Posted by: Fox at May 24, 2017 03:13 PM (TFUTH)

57 I guarantee that any woman that couldn't breath and chocking and the guy would not remove his dick , would bite the dick in half.

Posted by: Jack Sock at May 24, 2017 03:13 PM (Z4z/q)

58 40 The Defense's closing statement won the case.

'Let he who hasn't choked a woman with his enormous cod cast the first guilty vote.'
*
*
I'm still laughing over your choice of words.

Posted by: Wolfus Aurelius at May 24, 2017 03:13 PM (jTUfG)

59 And ace's choice of title.... I adore this man, I really do.

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at May 24, 2017 03:13 PM (evJdV)

60 "That's not the way she died," defense lawyer Ken Padowitz said."But that's the way Richard Patterson thought she died."

-
I'm not saying it was aliens but . . .

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks and You're Not at May 24, 2017 03:13 PM (Nwg0u)

61 How big do you have to be to choke a woman to death during oral? And if she realized what was happening, why didn't she just bite the damn thing off?

Posted by: JoeF. at May 24, 2017 03:13 PM (7uYFy)

62 Nobody knows the sorrows I've seen.........

Posted by: Cracker with some serious pipe at May 24, 2017 03:13 PM (n2K+4)

63 48- was she in Florida? If so, in a house without AC, she could have decomposed very quickly. It's warm there in October.

That said, the dude should have had jail time for being a douchebag.

Posted by: moki at May 24, 2017 03:14 PM (V+V48)

64 She was alive on 10/25, she was found on 10/28. I am surprised that she decomposed to such an extent in that short amount of time that they were unable to determine cause of death.

Whatever happened to her, it looks like the defendant's decision to put off calling the police paid off big time.

Posted by: Anon Y. Mous at May 24, 2017 03:12 PM (R+30W0

It might have been pretty warm. Helps hide the evidence.

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at May 24, 2017 03:14 PM (CPk08)

65 Are we sure this didn't happen in Nantucket?

Posted by: Lizzy at May 24, 2017 03:14 PM (NOIQH)

66 Welcome to Florida Have A Nice Day

Posted by: Roy at May 24, 2017 03:14 PM (7n4KQ)

67 His penis also accidentally killed Casey Anthony's kid. Freaking Florida juries.

Posted by: Jack Sock at May 24, 2017 03:14 PM (Z4z/q)

68 It is a heavy burden indeed, but I've never felt the need to buy flashy sports cars, hair transplants, or overpowered guns.

It's a hell of a money saver, really.

Posted by: weew at May 24, 2017 03:15 PM (EaEMG)

69 maybe he has Lich Penis. slobbing that accursed knob inflicts necrosis. the poor woman will probably rise from the tomb croaking "cawwwwwck... cawwwwck"

Posted by: Boulder terlit hobo at May 24, 2017 03:15 PM (IFhG2)

70 57 I guarantee that any woman that couldn't breath and chocking and the guy would not remove his dick , would bite the dick in half.
Posted by: Jack Sock at May 24, 2017 03:13 PM (Z4z/q)

The voice of experience?

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at May 24, 2017 03:15 PM (CPk08)

71 AOSHQ: Come for the political commentary, stay for the stories and threads with dick jokes.

Posted by: joe, living dangerously at May 24, 2017 03:15 PM (34w2E)

72 Muldoon was up at 0 dark thirty so might be a chance hes not around.

Posted by: Skip at May 24, 2017 03:15 PM (Ot7+c)

73 They all laughed when I had mine registered as a lethal weapon.

Posted by: regular joe at May 24, 2017 03:15 PM (O50yS)

74 I guarantee that any woman that couldn't breath and
chocking and the guy would not remove his dick , would bite the dick in
half.
Posted by: Jack Sock at May 24, 2017 03:13 PM (Z4z/q)
__________

gee, now that you mention it...

Posted by: Lorena Bobbit at May 24, 2017 03:15 PM (UmSfZ)

75 The dick jokes write themself and take out the garbage and mow the lawn and wax the car and even kill the neighbor if theirs enough light in the day!

Posted by: dananjcon at May 24, 2017 03:15 PM (WLK0w)

76 So this guy was acquitted of murder by virtue of having a big penis -- this is some serious Privilege we have to talk about.

Now THAT'S some serious bragging rights.

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at May 24, 2017 03:16 PM (SRKgf)

77 A penis thread is always a hit around here, isn't it ?

Posted by: runner at May 24, 2017 03:16 PM (c6/9Q)

78 if I had a nickel for every time....

Posted by: Flying Allende Brothers at May 24, 2017 03:16 PM (nFwvY)

79 And this happened a couple of years before Trump was elected. Man that things gotta be a weapon for sure now!

Posted by: DanMan at May 24, 2017 03:16 PM (XTiHL)

80 He goes by the name 'Paolo'.

Posted by: Grump928(c) at May 24, 2017 03:16 PM (QQ+il)

81 Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at May 24, 2017 03:15 PM (CPk0

No I still have all my junk.

Posted by: Jack Sock at May 24, 2017 03:16 PM (Z4z/q)

82 Posted by: Anon Y. Mous at May 24, 2017 03:12 PM (R+30W0

You ever been to Florida?!

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at May 24, 2017 03:17 PM (evJdV)

83 3 Oh yippy, how did I get so lucky, I'll get the corgis
Posted by: Skip at May 24, 2017 03:05 PM (Ot7+c)

You came too quick. Also you posted first.

Posted by: buzzion at May 24, 2017 03:17 PM (z/Ubi)

84 Guilty as sin, free as a bird.

Posted by: Acquitted Penis at May 24, 2017 03:17 PM (C52a9)

85 Mine is so big, it has its own dick. And my dick's dick is still bigger than most.

Posted by: weew at May 24, 2017 03:17 PM (EaEMG)

86 ...and they say "size doesn't matter."

Posted by: JoeF. at May 24, 2017 03:17 PM (7uYFy)

87 I was trying to google for whatever breeds of other species have those one-way penises, kinda like a foxtail, that once in don't come out until flaccid.

I am absolutely certain that my Google Ads are going to be hysterical for the next week.

Posted by: JEM at May 24, 2017 03:18 PM (TppKb)

88 "How big is it?"

"Well, it beats twelve of my peers put together, at least!"

Posted by: Warai-otoko at May 24, 2017 03:18 PM (AURKQ)

89 What are the other possible causes of death? Broken hip? Broken Pelvis? Drowning?

Posted by: Fritz at May 24, 2017 03:18 PM (2Mnv1)

90 Why the fuck didn't I think of that when I was charged with murder??

Posted by: John Holmes at May 24, 2017 03:18 PM (7uYFy)

91 His half-cocked idea to wait to inform the cops wasn't so good.

Posted by: Roy at May 24, 2017 03:18 PM (7n4KQ)

92 Next up....

Wrongful Death lawsuit.... for this guy... and Viagra.....

Posted by: Don Q. at May 24, 2017 03:18 PM (NgKpN)

93 Don't look at me.

Posted by: Conceptual Penis at May 24, 2017 03:18 PM (C52a9)

94 Shame his dick wasn't just a social construct...or detachable.

Posted by: Lizzy at May 24, 2017 03:18 PM (NOIQH)

95 Posted by: naive guy who doesn't realize just how gigantic his cock is at May 24, 2017 03:12 PM (DQ4Fv)

You're making the mistake of confusing any doubt for "reasonable doubt"

An exact cause of death is not necessary. Too many people expect CSI/NCIS magic in real life and that's not possible.

Posted by: Sjg at May 24, 2017 03:18 PM (gDSJf)

96 So, the last time she was seen by anyone other than the defendant was October 25, 2015.

Dude called a defense attorney - not the police - on October 28.

That's three days, max.

Now I'm no expert, but I would love someone to explain to me how a body lying, supposedly undisturbed, for three days in bed could decompose enough that a medical examiner couldn't determine if a stroke or heart attack had been the cause of death, rather than choking. They can tell you if an Egyptian mummy had gout, but not if a woman who died in late 2015 had a heart attack three days before her body was found? I'm not saying it's not possible, I'm just wondering why not.

Is it because this is Florida and Florida is humid and humidity leads to faster decomposition? Because that will lead me into an interesting (to me) spiel about how there should be no more Walkers in "The Walking Dead" because Georgia.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit & Vaginassassin, aka Beth at May 24, 2017 03:19 PM (4df7R)

97 Alt Headline -

'In a Devastating Blow to Jurisprudence : Man Who...'

Posted by: garrett at May 24, 2017 03:19 PM (cwFUa)

98 I take it that this wasn't a "conceptual penis" even though his wife probably wished it was.

Posted by: joe, living dangerously at May 24, 2017 03:19 PM (KUaJL)

99 Chalk one up for the Patriachy!

Posted by: Roy at May 24, 2017 03:19 PM (7n4KQ)

100 Dude...you're doing it wrong...

Posted by: Couchfucker at May 24, 2017 03:19 PM (HfqF0)

101 Can't believe they let me slide like that

Posted by: Acquitted Penis at May 24, 2017 03:19 PM (c6/9Q)

102
I know math is often frowned upon here, but by my limited math skills I'm counting twice he got off.

1 + 1 = 2.

Posted by: E Depluribus Unum at May 24, 2017 03:19 PM (HTdUD)

103
There once was a man from Okeechobee
Who joint was so big it would choke thee
"I'd like a shot"
Said his Lady friend hot
The last words she said was "hellllllllmmphhhmeeeee".

Posted by: fixerupper at May 24, 2017 03:19 PM (8XRCm)

104 An exact cause of death is not necessary. Too many people expect CSI/NCIS magic in real life and that's not possible.
Posted by: Sjg at May 24, 2017 03:18 PM (gDSJf)

Speaking of which, what are the chances one of these shows adopts this case in a storyline?

Posted by: John Holmes at May 24, 2017 03:20 PM (7uYFy)

105 Palate Cleanser:

(maybe poor choice of words right now)

Anyway, slide show of Beautiful Melania visit to Rome pediatric hospital -

http://tinyurl.com/nxxbyhb

Posted by: kallisto at May 24, 2017 03:20 PM (kD8Fh)

106 boys have a penis
girls have a vagina

Posted by: little kid at May 24, 2017 03:20 PM (HgMAr)

107 Alternate possibility: she was allergic to latex.

I only present this as a possibility because I've seen it happen (or more accurately, the aftermath). Girl gave a beejer to one of my fraternity brothers while he was wearing a latex condom and her throat swelled shut. Fortunately, she got to the ER in time.

Posted by: Country Singer at May 24, 2017 03:20 PM (uiwCw)

108

Hey

Wasnt there recently a story about a black guy who got a penis transplant from a white guy

And was having it tattooed to match?

Posted by: ThunderB at May 24, 2017 03:20 PM (eApHj)

109 Neighbors became suspicious years ago when parents had entire sectional sofa recovered soon after son's circumcision.

Posted by: USA at May 24, 2017 03:20 PM (DGzzO)

110 Man Who Choked Woman To Death With His Penis Gets Off

We're not doing phrasing anymore?

Posted by: rickb223 at May 24, 2017 03:20 PM (Njtx4)

111 Said the Defense Attorney : 'This argument has teeth.'

Posted by: garrett at May 24, 2017 03:20 PM (cwFUa)

112 The Official Score (tm):

The Female Vagina: Infinity

The Male Penis: 1

Posted by: Sharkman at May 24, 2017 03:20 PM (zKIA2)

113 Speaking of which, what are the chances one of these shows adopts this case in a storyline?
Posted by: John Holmes at May 24, 2017 03:20 PM (7uYFy)

I wanna hear Ice T's explanation of the murder.

Posted by: joe, living dangerously at May 24, 2017 03:20 PM (KUaJL)

114

Judge did not force discovery...

Posted by: Acquitted Penis at May 24, 2017 03:20 PM (c6/9Q)

115 It wasn't me!

Posted by: warped shplib at May 24, 2017 03:21 PM (HgMAr)

116 Speaking of which, what are the chances one of these shows adopts this case in a storyline?

Ripped from the headlines...

Posted by: Grump928(c) at May 24, 2017 03:21 PM (QQ+il)

117 medical experts said that it was "unlikely" one could inadvertently kill a woman during oral sex

In my role as either the provider or sucker or watcher-of-porn of such scenarios, I will say that it is entirely possible to choke on a penis -- even unto death. The average mouth can only take about four or five inches of something into it before the gag reflex is activated and the airwaves start to get blocked. An immense penis would therefore not even be a requirement for this to happen -- even an average-to-decent size dick could choke someone, if it was forced deep into the mouth vigorously enough. Of course, you'd have to keep it crammed in there against the recipient's wishes for quite a number of seconds for it to become fatal. But even a brief episode of choking/suffocation could trigger a panic reaction and/or a heart attack. It is possible.

Posted by: zombie at May 24, 2017 03:21 PM (DQ4Fv)

118 But first you will...wait, we can kill two birds with one stone!"

Posted by: Lizzy at May 24, 2017 03:21 PM (NOIQH)

119 The last words she said was ~~"hellllllllmmphhhmeeeee"~~ Arghbllgssslp!

Posted by: Lorena Bobbit at May 24, 2017 03:21 PM (UmSfZ)

120 New York Post Headline:

"Hog Chokes Hag!"

Posted by: Sharkman at May 24, 2017 03:21 PM (zKIA2)

121 If this guy was married, he'd be in jail for at least perjury.

Posted by: garrett at May 24, 2017 03:22 PM (cwFUa)

122 Neighbors became suspicious years ago when parents had entire sectional sofa recovered soon after son's circumcision.

It's an ottoman until you rub it.

Posted by: Grump928(c) at May 24, 2017 03:22 PM (QQ+il)

123 take cover while I whip this out

Posted by: Boulder terlit hobo at May 24, 2017 03:22 PM (IFhG2)

124
I'm not a hardened criminal.

Posted by: Acquitted Penis at May 24, 2017 03:22 PM (C52a9)

125 He had 12 inches, but didn't use it as a rule.

Posted by: Tape Measure at May 24, 2017 03:22 PM (G4MPJ)

126 What? What the hell does this mean? Either she was deliberately
strangled or accidentally suffocated by penis. If the latter is
impossible, and the defense is admitting that, that only leaves the
former possibility, and the defendant's claim of what he "thought"
happened seems... entirely self-serving and entirely irrelevant.

It means that the guy realized she was dead and thought, "Oh God, I just choked her to death with my penis! Oh God, I killed her with my penis!" When what MAY have happened is she suffered a heart attack or a stroke during the sex act, which is unrelated to his penis in her mouth. The prosecution made the case that it would be highly unlikely that the woman died from oral sex-induced suffocation, so the defense came back with, "Well, that's why he didn't go to police right away. He was afraid he'd accidentally suffocated her with his penis." The implication being that if he'd known it was something else, he'd have called for help right away instead of waiting.

Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit & Vaginassassin, aka Beth at May 24, 2017 03:22 PM (4df7R)

127 Penis Status: Intimidated.

Posted by: ScoggDog at May 24, 2017 03:22 PM (tcQdP)

128 girth can be a problem sometimes, sadly length is not. I'm not a mushroom or anything but it's been an issue sometimes.

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards at May 24, 2017 03:22 PM (3OIiX)

129 If the dick don't fit, you must acquit.

Posted by: Roland THTG at May 24, 2017 03:22 PM (baYK5)

130 Oral arguments is what really got me off...

Posted by: Acquitted Penis at May 24, 2017 03:22 PM (c6/9Q)

131 Uh.... Sir? just one more question....

Posted by: Det. Columbo at May 24, 2017 03:22 PM (NgKpN)

132 Irish curse, all potatoes, no meat...

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards at May 24, 2017 03:22 PM (3OIiX)

133 Would he like to meet a former president?

Posted by: Ex President Cock Curious at May 24, 2017 03:22 PM (qJhUV)

134 If this guy was married, he'd be in jail for at least perjury.
Posted by: garrett at May 24, 2017 03:22 PM (cwFUa)

----

If she'd married him.... she'd still be alive.

Posted by: fixerupper at May 24, 2017 03:22 PM (8XRCm)

135 What were Francisca's last words?

Bli blub you

Posted by: wth at May 24, 2017 03:23 PM (HgMAr)

136 THEN WHO WAS CHOKE?

Posted by: Sensitive new age guy at May 24, 2017 03:23 PM (271Y5)

137 I wanna hear Ice T's explanation of the murder.

I'm on it.

Posted by: John Mulaney at May 24, 2017 03:23 PM (HfqF0)

138 In my role as either the provider or sucker or watcher-of-porn of such scenarios, I will say that it is entirely possible to choke on a penis -- even unto death. The average mouth can only take about four or five inches of something into it before the gag reflex is activated and the airwaves start to get blocked. An immense penis would therefore not even be a requirement for this to happen -- even an average-to-decent size dick could choke someone, if it was forced deep into the mouth vigorously enough. Of course, you'd have to keep it crammed in there against the recipient's wishes for quite a number of seconds for it to become fatal. But even a brief episode of choking/suffocation could trigger a panic reaction and/or a heart attack. It is possible.
Posted by: zombie

And then you run into the chick with no gag reflex.....

Posted by: rickb223 at May 24, 2017 03:23 PM (Njtx4)

139 Now I'm no expert, but I would love someone to explain to me how a body lying, supposedly undisturbed, for three days in bed could decompose enough that a medical examiner couldn't determine if a stroke or heart attack had been the cause of death, rather than choking. They can tell you if an Egyptian mummy had gout, but not if a woman who died in late 2015 had a heart attack three days before her body was found? I'm not saying it's not possible, I'm just wondering why not.

Because there are a bunch of things that can kill you and not leave much anatomical evidence. Arrhythmias and err...laryngospasm spring to mind. After 3 days cooking, even facial bruising/petechiae (such as you might get if (say) smothered with a pillow) would be difficult to pick up.

Manual strangulation you could detect, or an MI, or stroke, for sure.

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at May 24, 2017 03:23 PM (CPk08)

140 He gets offended when people call him Dick.

Posted by: Roy at May 24, 2017 03:23 PM (7n4KQ)

141 Well ya see, it was like this.
No woman has ever either been able to or wanted to do that before.
When she did it felt so good I got even bigger and it got stuck.
I tried to pull it out, scouts honor, but just couldn't.

Posted by: teej at May 24, 2017 03:23 PM (qREJU)

142 I choked Heather Brooke, without any use of hands. Do your own research.

Posted by: Richard Patterson at May 24, 2017 03:23 PM (ndGCC)

143 Neighbors became suspicious years ago when parents had entire sectional sofa recovered soon after son's circumcision.

Posted by: USA

Please don't remind me about circumcision, it's a sore subject. I couldn't walk or talk for a year after mine.

Posted by: E Depluribus Unum at May 24, 2017 03:23 PM (HTdUD)

144 He had 12 inches, but didn't use it as a rule.

The game is a foot, Watson.

Posted by: Sherlock Holmes at May 24, 2017 03:24 PM (QQ+il)

145 106 boys have a penis
girls have a vagina
Posted by: little kid

Off to the Re-Education Camps with you!

Posted by: Insane SJWs now controlling our culture at May 24, 2017 03:24 PM (DQ4Fv)

146 There was no gag order...

Posted by: Acquitted Penis at May 24, 2017 03:24 PM (c6/9Q)

147 Is Wayne Brady gonna have to choke a bitch?!

Posted by: Wayne Brady at May 24, 2017 03:24 PM (cwFUa)

148
to enter his penis into evidence

"evidence"? Is that yet another term for vajayjay?

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at May 24, 2017 03:24 PM (rQe9y)

149 Can't believe the jury swallowed this explanation.

Posted by: Lizzy at May 24, 2017 03:24 PM (NOIQH)

150 Dang! If only "Little Bill" was that big, I could have disposed of all the women that gave me so much trouble politically and legally over the years.

Posted by: Bill Clinton at May 24, 2017 03:25 PM (rtfSu)

151 What can I say, the other attorney choked...

Posted by: Acquitted Penis at May 24, 2017 03:25 PM (c6/9Q)

152 And then you run into the chick with no gag reflex.....

Posted by: rickb223

There are throat sprays available for the willing with gag issues. I forget the names of them.

But Google is your friend in such manners.

Posted by: E Depluribus Unum at May 24, 2017 03:25 PM (HTdUD)

153 Anyone have this guy's phone number? Asking for a friend...

Posted by: Shep Smith at May 24, 2017 03:25 PM (0mRoj)

154 Please don't remind me about circumcision, it's a sore subject. I couldn't walk or talk for a year after mine.
Posted by: E Depluribus Unum

You? I shit myself for a solid year.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 24, 2017 03:25 PM (Njtx4)

155 Oh Good Grief ... can't we just have ONE thread without hearing about the Horde's Penis Status ?

Posted by: ScoggDog at May 24, 2017 03:25 PM (tcQdP)

156 Punchline of old joke: "Only enough to win, dear, only enough to win."

Posted by: Deplorable Jay Guevara at May 24, 2017 03:25 PM (SRKgf)

157 The game is a foot, Watson.

He didn't use his foot, he used his penis. Please, do try to keep up.

Posted by: IP at May 24, 2017 03:25 PM (UmSfZ)

158 Can't believe the jury swallowed this explanation.
Posted by: Lizzy at May 24, 2017 03:24 PM (NOIQH)

----

I cant believe 65 year old guys are getting beejeers.

Posted by: fixerupper at May 24, 2017 03:25 PM (8XRCm)

159 what happened to weft cut loop's post? He had linked to an incident in the Phillipines where a police chief was beheaded and churchgoers taken hostage.

Posted by: kallisto at May 24, 2017 03:26 PM (kD8Fh)

160 Was the Four Hour Rule invoked?

Posted by: CitizenX at May 24, 2017 03:26 PM (mvyKt)

161 I'm going to disagree with the moron here who brought up latex allergy. by 60, anyone so afflicted should know not to use latex.

Posted by: Boulder terlit hobo at May 24, 2017 03:26 PM (IFhG2)

162 A horrible crime, unpunished. But I did get a chuckle out of your headline!

Posted by: dfbaskwill at May 24, 2017 03:26 PM (zllbf)

163 Lord!! Why have you forsaken me!!!

Posted by: Short Dick Sam at May 24, 2017 03:26 PM (WLK0w)

164 well,as an older,cracker, male, i guess that plea would never work. who was on that jury? wtf?

Posted by: chavez the hugo at May 24, 2017 03:26 PM (KP5rU)

165
I am glad my attorney had a firm handle on the whole thing...

Posted by: Acquitted Penis at May 24, 2017 03:27 PM (c6/9Q)

166 Anyone have this guy's phone number? Asking for a friend...
Posted by: Shep Smith at May 24, 2017 03:25 PM (0mRoj)
Get in line, Shep. I called first dibs...

Posted by: Sandra Fluke at May 24, 2017 03:27 PM (7uYFy)

167 Monica has the sure method not to choke during beejers.

Posted by: Boulder terlit hobo at May 24, 2017 03:27 PM (IFhG2)

168 No schadenboner jokes?

Posted by: Northernlurker, Phillips screwdriver of the gods at May 24, 2017 03:27 PM (hJrjt)

169 105
Palate Cleanser:

(maybe poor choice of words right now)

Anyway, slide show of Beautiful Melania visit to Rome pediatric hospital -

http://tinyurl.com/nxxbyhb

Posted by: kallisto at May 24, 2017 03:20 PM (kD8Fh)

Since these will never be show by our MSM, check them out.I'm impressed at how compassionate, caring she looks. She wants to be there. You can see that in the hugs she gives.
America -we got a true First Lady again.

Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at May 24, 2017 03:27 PM (jxbfJ)

170 So I can see how a jury wouldn't convict anyone for murder without even knowing how a person died.

But Florida, good lord.

You start off putting carrots in chili, and there's no telling where you end up.
Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at May 24, 2017 03:10 PM (evJdV)

Don't tar the rest of us with Cochran's perversions.

Posted by: Insomniac, Lord Hurlingbone, Earl of Melancholy at May 24, 2017 03:27 PM (0mRoj)

171 Hickory Dickory Dock...

Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1) (T) at May 24, 2017 03:27 PM (6gk0M)

172 You didn't think you were getting all this for $20, did you?

Posted by: Just the Punchline at May 24, 2017 03:27 PM (QQ+il)

173 Richard Patterson, 65,
..........

Too bad his last name isn't Holster.

Posted by: wth at May 24, 2017 03:27 PM (HgMAr)

174 I bet she died like the guy in "A Few Good Men."

Posted by: bicentennialguy at May 24, 2017 03:27 PM (vg8iE)

175 This is how my Uncle's sheep died

Posted by: Barack Hussein Obama at May 24, 2017 03:28 PM (DpOmP)

176 It was an anonymous tip from an unknown witness that blew the case wide open.

"Deep Throat".

Posted by: Acquitted Penis at May 24, 2017 03:28 PM (C52a9)

177 Did the killer enter through the back door? Asking for a friend.

Posted by: Carlos Danger at May 24, 2017 03:28 PM (VpBSr)

178 D*ck's so big it has a knee in it!

Posted by: Tilikum KAW at May 24, 2017 03:28 PM (uhftQ)

179 Death by Snu Snu

Posted by: joe, living dangerously at May 24, 2017 03:28 PM (KUaJL)

180 167
Monica has the sure method not to choke during beejers.

Posted by: Boulder terlit hobo at May 24, 2017 03:27 PM (IFhG2)

Cleaning up afterwards wasn't her strong suit though. Though her creativity in improv on imitating a humidor does score points.

Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at May 24, 2017 03:28 PM (jxbfJ)

181 I cant believe 65 year old guys are getting beejeers.

Posted by: fixerupper at May 24, 2017 03:25 PM (8XRCm)
..........

Me neither. At least maybe I have something to look forward to besides Social Security.

Posted by: wth at May 24, 2017 03:29 PM (HgMAr)

182 Just not a lot of 'eyes commenting here, except Lizzy.
Interesting.

Posted by: Diogenes at May 24, 2017 03:29 PM (0tfLf)

183 Did anyone mention drowning as a possible cause yet?

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at May 24, 2017 03:29 PM (7ZVPa)

184 Now that I am free, I can hang out anywhere I like...

Posted by: Acquitted Penis at May 24, 2017 03:29 PM (c6/9Q)

185 174 I bet she died like the guy in "A Few Good Men."
Posted by: bicentennialguy

"The length? You can't handle the length!"

Posted by: Insane SJWs now controlling our culture at May 24, 2017 03:29 PM (DQ4Fv)

186 I'm going to disagree with the moron here who brought up latex allergy. by 60, anyone so afflicted should know not to use latex.

Posted by: Boulder terlit hobo at May 24, 2017 03:26 PM (IFhG2)

I'm just tossing out there as a theory. It's possible that he lied and told her it was a polyurethane condom. It's possible she developed an allergy later in life.

Posted by: Country Singer at May 24, 2017 03:29 PM (uiwCw)

187 17 >>Which leads me to question why she was badly decomposed when found. Was her body... hidden?

He found (or "found") her decomposing body in her condo and called a defense attorney, then the police, in that order.

Posted by: WhatWhatWhat? at May 24, 2017 03:30 PM (ul9CR)

188 There is no defending this.

The only thing that I can think of is that she was laying on her back with her head off the end of the bed and he was fucking her face hard making her gag and she consented. He hit her gag reflex and she threw up drowning herself. He probably never realized it. He then freaked out and hid the body.

There is a price to pay for degenerate behavior that you might learn from extreme porn and this is one of them.

Posted by: Widespread Pepe at May 24, 2017 03:30 PM (2qHjF)

189 Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at May 24, 2017 03:27 PM (jxbfJ)

the Liar Media's blackout on anything Melania positive is why I posted that link.

You can also see great pics of her on Getty Images site. It's a side of her that has been hidden from the American people. If a few of those pictures slipped out onto the pages of say, People magazine...there would be no worry of Trump being re-elected.

Posted by: kallisto at May 24, 2017 03:30 PM (kD8Fh)

190 > Oh Good Grief ... can't we just have ONE thread without hearing about the Horde's Penis Status ?

No

Posted by: WaitingForMartel at May 24, 2017 03:30 PM (VpBSr)

191 Court transcripts indicate that he grabbed the back of Francisca's head and yelled "Your sister does it just like this!"

Posted by: Mortimer - Finish Her! at May 24, 2017 03:30 PM (C52a9)

192 Cause of death: Choked on vomit, although it was never determined whose vomit it was.

Posted by: Eric "Stumpy Joe" Childs at May 24, 2017 03:31 PM (DpOmP)

193 Ettes...not eyes.
Stoopid keyboard.

Posted by: Diogenes at May 24, 2017 03:31 PM (0tfLf)

194
I must say, the whole journey was deep and eventful...

Posted by: Acquitted Penis at May 24, 2017 03:31 PM (c6/9Q)

195 Murder as a crime is so...like...yesterday man.

Posted by: Some damn moron at May 24, 2017 03:31 PM (7CM5W)

196 I just learned the other day, I've been measuring wrong. Gained about 1/2" by pushing the ruler tight against the pubic bone. I can't wait to show my wife!

Posted by: Chris M at May 24, 2017 03:31 PM (eAZVt)

197 192 Cause of death: Choked on vomit, although it was never determined whose vomit it was.

Well, you can't dust for vomit.

Posted by: WhatWhatWhat? at May 24, 2017 03:31 PM (ul9CR)

198 There is a price to pay for degenerate behavior that you might learn from extreme porn

$9.99 a month, no ads and no tracking

Posted by: PronHub at May 24, 2017 03:32 PM (UmSfZ)

199 slide show of Beautiful Melania visit to Rome pediatric hospital -

http://tinyurl.com/nxxbyhb
Posted by: kallisto

It's terrible how many children in Italy seems to be suffering from Pixelated Eye Syndrome. How they find a cure!

Posted by: Insane SJWs now controlling our culture at May 24, 2017 03:32 PM (DQ4Fv)

200 121 If this guy was married, he'd be in jail for at least perjury.
Posted by: garrett at May 24, 2017 03:22 PM (cwFUa)

IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE IF HE WAS MARRIED HE WOULDN'T BE GETTING A BEEJER!

Posted by: BEN ROETHLISBERGER at May 24, 2017 03:32 PM (0mRoj)

201 >>>I cant believe 65 year old guys are getting beejeers.

From 60 year old women, no less!

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at May 24, 2017 03:32 PM (5A+It)

202 So he attacked her with a friendly weapon?

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks and You're Not at May 24, 2017 03:32 PM (Nwg0u)

203 Man, I guess I was so good that I left you completely speechless and motionless. Almost deathly still, actually. I'll come back in a week and see if you're still in this exact same position.

Posted by: Totes what happened you guys at May 24, 2017 03:33 PM (oZ6kz)

204 Isn't this the plot of Naked Weapon 6?

Posted by: Grump928(c) at May 24, 2017 03:33 PM (QQ+il)

205 196 I just learned the other day, I've been measuring wrong. Gained about 1/2" by pushing the ruler tight against the pubic bone. I can't wait to show my wife!

Posted by: Chris M at May 24, 2017 03:31 PM (eAZVt)

*****

Hopefully Paolo hasn't shown her that already.

Posted by: Diogenes at May 24, 2017 03:33 PM (0tfLf)

206 >> There is a price to pay for degenerate behavior that you might learn from extreme porn

Tell that to Paolo.

Posted by: garrett at May 24, 2017 03:33 PM (cwFUa)

207 Posted by: Diogenes at May 24, 2017 03:31 PM (0tfLf)

Well I'm here but posting off-topic.

Posted by: kallisto at May 24, 2017 03:33 PM (kD8Fh)

208 so much for giving his piece a chance

Posted by: phreshone at May 24, 2017 03:33 PM (DpOmP)

209 202
So he attacked her with a friendly weapon?

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks and You're Not at May 24, 2017 03:32 PM (Nwg0u)

Well, we know he wasn't Irish.

Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at May 24, 2017 03:34 PM (jxbfJ)

210 #199 It's terrible how many children in Italy seems to be suffering from Pixelated Eye Syndrome. How they find a cure!

It's the mal'occh'

I always knew it was a real thing! Mama was right!

Posted by: WhatWhatWhat? at May 24, 2017 03:34 PM (ul9CR)

211 "Why do you have SAS tattooed on your dick?"

"It spells Saskatchewan."

Posted by: Some damn moron at May 24, 2017 03:34 PM (7CM5W)

212 There is a price to pay for degenerate behavior that you might learn from extreme porn
===

So go forth and learn, morons.

Learn like the wind.

Posted by: Mortimer - Finish Her! at May 24, 2017 03:34 PM (C52a9)

213 60? She was over 18? Gross!

Posted by: Anthony Weiner at May 24, 2017 03:34 PM (VpBSr)

214 Off, "Insane SJWs now controlling our culture" condom, er, sock.

Posted by: zombie at May 24, 2017 03:34 PM (DQ4Fv)

215 So, what is the medical term they put on the death certificate? Penile asphyxia?

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at May 24, 2017 03:34 PM (7ZVPa)

216 Sitting in a McDonalds in San Diego. CNN is on the TV. The anti-Trump channel, non-stop. Unbelievable. Creepy. Contemptible.

I had some doubts about Trump before the election. I voted for him, there was no question about that, although in CA such a vote won't really count towards the outcome. The more of this reptilian propaganda that I see, the more I support him. He's it. He and his popular support. There's nothing else a available.

Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at May 24, 2017 03:35 PM (lwPny)

217
The ettes are always complaining that the threads are all bewbs and guns.

Nice to know Ace thinks of topics for the ladies from time to time.

Posted by: fixerupper at May 24, 2017 03:35 PM (8XRCm)

218 If John Holmes never killed anybody this way, then I don't think it's a valid defense.

Posted by: broseidon, news sleuth and provisional komodo dragon at May 24, 2017 03:35 PM (oZ6kz)

219 He thinks she died during the beejer because she didn't flinch during the money shot.

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at May 24, 2017 03:35 PM (5A+It)

220 When I first read the headline I thought he had wrapped the offending instrument around her neck and strangled her with it. I doubt even John Holmes could have managed that,

Posted by: Javems at May 24, 2017 03:35 PM (yOqwj)

221 Maybe she died laughing?

Posted by: CSMBigBird at May 24, 2017 03:35 PM (jsWA8)

222 60? She was over 18? Gross!

Posted by: Anthony Weiner at May 24, 2017 03:34 PM (VpBSr)

Roman Polanski: Preach it brother.

Posted by: TheQuietMan at May 24, 2017 03:35 PM (493sH)

223 I think the point is she could have died from a heart attack but the dude thought he choked her with his dick so didn't report it out of embarrassment...er, that his dick was so big...no wait, that can't be right.

Posted by: Mr. Feverhead at May 24, 2017 03:35 PM (j1Wvr)

224 Does anyone know how to contact this man? I'm asking for, uhh, a friend.

Posted by: Barack Obama, Man's Country Lifetime Member at May 24, 2017 03:35 PM (3J/LN)

225
gonna guess this thread will be NSFW soon

Posted by: Big V at May 24, 2017 03:05 PM (NX0K0)

I think it already is...

Posted by: Miley, the Duchess at May 24, 2017 03:36 PM (tHwdc)

226 This whole case is just a handout to Big Penis.

Posted by: Mega at May 24, 2017 03:36 PM (Buhm7)

227 217

The ettes are always complaining that the threads are all bewbs and guns.

Nice to know Ace thinks of topics for the ladies from time to time.

Posted by: fixerupper at May 24, 2017 03:35 PM (8XRCm)

Funny how the 'ettes aren't saying "pics or it didn't happen"

Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at May 24, 2017 03:36 PM (jxbfJ)

228 The more of this reptilian propaganda that I see, the more I support him. He's it. He and his popular support. There's nothing else a available.

Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at May 24, 2017 03:35 PM (lwPny)

did you see the article that 7 million duplicate registrations were discovered nationwide?

That's your FAB alleged popular vote margin right there.

Posted by: kallisto at May 24, 2017 03:36 PM (kD8Fh)

229 Mine is so big, it has its own dick. And my dick's dick is still bigger than most.

Posted by: weew
****

Is that you, Drew?

Posted by: Tilikum KAW at May 24, 2017 03:36 PM (uhftQ)

230 In the movie The Divide staring Micheal Biehn and Rosanna Arquette and a host of others, which Ace said he was interested in watching, let's just say this plays out.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=0QsCBUjVGgY

Posted by: Widespread Pepe at May 24, 2017 03:36 PM (2qHjF)

231 >>60? She was over 18? Gross!

I'll give him a pass if they were watching 'Blue Lagoon'.

Posted by: Roman Polanski at May 24, 2017 03:36 PM (cwFUa)

232 "Whats the difference between an Italian husband and an Italian lover?"

"30 minutes."

"Whats the difference between an Italian wife and an Italian girlfriend?"

"30 pounds"

Posted by: Some damn moron at May 24, 2017 03:36 PM (7CM5W)

233 They had sex in her apartment and he left afterwards not realizing she was dead? Only to come back 3 days later to find her decomposing in the same spot he left her? Is that the timeline?

Posted by: IC at May 24, 2017 03:36 PM (a0IVu)

234 Much like Mauna Kea, you're supposed to measure from below sea level - personally I like to start from the duodenum, but the esophagus works as well.

Posted by: broseidon, news sleuth and provisional komodo dragon at May 24, 2017 03:37 PM (oZ6kz)

235 So where was the body the whole time is was rotting away?

Somethings not right here....

Posted by: SSBN 656 (G) at May 24, 2017 03:37 PM (jjaLl)

236 Why can't this guy collaborate with James Patterson for a mystery?

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at May 24, 2017 03:37 PM (5A+It)

237 Florida is America's (killer) Wang

/oblig

Posted by: kallisto, sort of on topic at May 24, 2017 03:37 PM (kD8Fh)

238 Since he found her dead in her condo and she'd been dead for a while, I guess his thinking was: "Welp, the last time I saw her she was humming my wang. Yep, that must've been what done it."

Posted by: WhatWhatWhat? at May 24, 2017 03:37 PM (ul9CR)

239 Since I am married, I have no understanding of the mechanics of this type of behavior but doesn't this seem to assume a sort of prehensile penis?

Posted by: Mortimer - Finish Her! at May 24, 2017 03:37 PM (C52a9)

240
Oooooooo. A little googling and I found a pic of the "Big Dick"

http://tinyurl.com/k8mb6o4

Posted by: fixerupper at May 24, 2017 03:38 PM (8XRCm)

241 Didn't Prehensile Penis once open for Pussy Riot?

Posted by: Roy at May 24, 2017 03:38 PM (7n4KQ)

242 "...and deep too...."

Posted by: Some damn moron at May 24, 2017 03:38 PM (7CM5W)

243 Never considered myself big, ...big-boned would be more accurate

Posted by: Acquitted Penis at May 24, 2017 03:38 PM (c6/9Q)

244 This would have been a lot more entertaining than simply leaving her in the car.

Posted by: Ted Kennedy at May 24, 2017 03:38 PM (rtfSu)

245 Here's the pictures he was going to show to the jury:

http://tinyurl.com/j228or5

Posted by: Zorro, the Gay Blade at May 24, 2017 03:39 PM (d6ag0)

246 Since I am married, I have no understanding of the
mechanics of this type of behavior but doesn't this seem to assume a
sort of prehensile penis?
Posted by: Mortimer - Finish Her! at May 24, 2017 03:37 PM (C52a9)
_________

I was told that's why brides always smile, they know they've given their last hummer.

Posted by: IP at May 24, 2017 03:39 PM (UmSfZ)

247 Never met a pussy riot I did not like...

Posted by: Acquitted Penis at May 24, 2017 03:39 PM (c6/9Q)

248 > Does anyone know how to contact this man? I'm asking for, uhh, a friend.

Posted by: Barack Obama, Man's Country Lifetime Member

What??!! you BITCH!!! *stomps off sobbing*

Posted by: Reggie at May 24, 2017 03:39 PM (VpBSr)

249 Late to the thread.

Anyone say, "Don't make me choke a bitch" yet?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at May 24, 2017 03:39 PM (PY9jH)

250 He tried to save her at the last second but she died of acute pink-eye.

Posted by: Mr. Feverhead at May 24, 2017 03:39 PM (j1Wvr)

251 60? She was over 18? Gross!

Posted by: Anthony Weiner at May 24, 2017 03:34 PM (VpBSr)
..........

Hey, don't knock it till you've tried it. She puts her teeth on the nightstand.

Posted by: wth at May 24, 2017 03:39 PM (HgMAr)

252 A Florida man had a dick
Enormously long and so thick
That he choked Marquinez
To death, so he says
But they couldn't get charges to stick

Posted by: Insomniac, Lord Hurlingbone, Earl of Melancholy at May 24, 2017 03:39 PM (0mRoj)

253 Esther Rosenberg, a married 54 year old from Boca Raton, died late Thursday night from complications related to an extreme bout of oral sex.

Posted by: Headlines You'll Never Read at May 24, 2017 03:39 PM (oZ6kz)

254 240 Sorry, not clicking on that link.

Posted by: dantesed at May 24, 2017 03:39 PM (88xKn)

255 Interesting thing about penises: 95% of men are above average in length. Also, 30% of men are in the top 1%, size-wise.

Penises are the only objects in the universe that have these statistical properties.

Posted by: zombie at May 24, 2017 03:39 PM (DQ4Fv)

256 If the penis don't fit, you must acquit!

Posted by: Lizzy

Threadwinner, Lizzy you little minx

Posted by: Cheri at May 24, 2017 03:39 PM (oiNtH)

257 Oooooooooookay. I think I'm done with this one...

Posted by: Brother Cavil, Abbot of St. Costello-on-the-Hurlingbone at May 24, 2017 03:40 PM (AM1GF)

258 245 Here's the pictures he was going to show to the jury:

How nice, he made a little sweater for it.

Posted by: WhatWhatWhat? at May 24, 2017 03:40 PM (ul9CR)

259 Anyway, slide show of Beautiful Melania visit to Rome pediatric hospital -

http://tinyurl.com/nxxbyhb

Posted by: kallisto
============
Thanks - great stuff.

Posted by: simplemind at May 24, 2017 03:40 PM (xVRrG)

260 256 If the penis don't fit, you must acquit!

Posted by: Lizzy

Threadwinner, Lizzy you little minx

Posted by: Cheri at May 24, 2017 03:39 PM (oiNtH)

Seconded.

Posted by: Some damn moron at May 24, 2017 03:40 PM (7CM5W)

261 239 Since I am married, I have no understanding of the mechanics of this type of behavior but doesn't this seem to assume a sort of prehensile penis?
Posted by: Mortimer - Finish Her! at May 24, 2017 03:37 PM (C52a9)

That's how I hang upside down on the monkey bars. Doesn't everyone?

Posted by: Insomniac, Lord Hurlingbone, Earl of Melancholy at May 24, 2017 03:40 PM (0mRoj)

262 OT, our first lady speaks Italian...did y'all know that?

Posted by: IC at May 24, 2017 03:41 PM (a0IVu)

263 221 Maybe she died laughing?
Posted by: CSMBigBird at May 24, 2017 03:35 PM (jsWA

*****

Reminds me of a guy from college. His nickname was Tunacan. Not real long...you get the idea.
He never told us who gave him the name.

Posted by: Diogenes at May 24, 2017 03:41 PM (0tfLf)

264 In a ballsy gambit, the accused offered to show his penis to the jury, while his attorney gave a full-throated defense of his client, to the point of choking
back tears.

Posted by: Uncle Jefe at May 24, 2017 03:41 PM (CzSs6)

265 How nice, he made a little sweater for it.
______

STILl not clicking the link..

Posted by: IP at May 24, 2017 03:41 PM (UmSfZ)

266 Just not in the mood to read jokes about large penises, so I'm skipping the comments. The guy murdered his girl friend. Even if he did have a large penis. there is no way you wouldn't know someone was choking to death on it even if such a thing is possible. The jurors were morons-and not in a good way!

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at May 24, 2017 03:41 PM (qES5k)

267 All neighbors heard were muffled screams.

Posted by: Mr. Feverhead at May 24, 2017 03:42 PM (j1Wvr)

268 OT, our first lady speaks Italian...did y'all know that?
Posted by: IC at May 24, 2017 03:41 PM (a0IVu)

=======

Yes. I believe she speaks 5 languages.

Posted by: GOULD at May 24, 2017 03:42 PM (Hj4t4)

269 I was told that's why brides always smile, they know they've given their last hummer.
Posted by: IP

Doesn't mean it's the last one the groom gets. :-0

Posted by: rickb223 at May 24, 2017 03:42 PM (Njtx4)

270 The defendant had also offered to show the jury his dick in previous court cases, including one for unpaid parking tickets.

Posted by: broseidon, news sleuth and provisional komodo dragon at May 24, 2017 03:42 PM (oZ6kz)

271 240 Sorry, not clicking on that link.
Posted by: dantesed at May 24, 2017 03:39 PM (88xKn)

------

You dont trust *me*???

Im kinda hurt by your attitude.

Posted by: fixerupper at May 24, 2017 03:42 PM (8XRCm)

272 Robert Chambers hardest hit.

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at May 24, 2017 03:42 PM (5A+It)

273
Oh yippy, how did I get so lucky, I'll get the corgis

Do you mean the wiener dogs?

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 24, 2017 03:42 PM (IqV8l)

274 Can you sentence someone who is already hung? Asking for a friend.

Posted by: R Patterson at May 24, 2017 03:42 PM (q6BS+)

275 Re: sidebar article -
Size increase due to the evolution of baleen feeding doesn't explain sperm whales.

Posted by: Pussy Galore at May 24, 2017 03:43 PM (DZp0Z)

276 And they was right!

Posted by: Sheriff Bart at May 24, 2017 03:43 PM (0mRoj)

277 So basically what we have here is a guy that chokes someone to death with his penis and doesn't even end up in the penal system. What?

Is that because the jury already considered him 'Well Hung" and hanging him again would be double jeopardy?

Posted by: The Walking Dude at May 24, 2017 03:43 PM (ARzf8)

278 Muldoon could do something with this.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 24, 2017 03:43 PM (NBHj5)

279 262 OT, our first lady speaks Italian...did y'all know that?
Posted by: IC at May 24, 2017 03:41 PM (a0IVu)

Hey I spoke Ebonics!

Posted by: Moochelle at May 24, 2017 03:43 PM (7CM5W)

280 Reminds me of a guy from college. His nickname was Tunacan. Not real long...you get the idea.
He never told us who gave him the name.

It's from Joseph Wambaugh's gritty LA cop novel, The Onion Field.

One of the scuzzy locals in the book is nicknamed "Tunacan Tommy" because, well, you know the rest...

Posted by: WhatWhatWhat? at May 24, 2017 03:43 PM (ul9CR)

281 I'm glad I missed that jury.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 24, 2017 03:44 PM (NBHj5)

282 But I'm sure all the male readers here will jump to his defense, as I'm certain the men of Ace of Spades are similarly-situated and deal with this heavy, veiney burden as well.

Not me, and for that reason the state of Florida (Florida, yet again) should hang that motherfucker, guilty or not.

Posted by: Ace's liver at May 24, 2017 03:44 PM (+azJs)

283 This is what they were both going for. Impressive talent the young lady has by the way. Should be SFW.

Yeah...but it most definitely isn't! [CBD]

Posted by: Widespread Pepe at May 24, 2017 03:44 PM (2qHjF)

284 http://tinyurl.com/nxxbyhb

Posted by: kallisto
============
Thanks - great stuff.
Posted by: simplemind at May 24, 2017 03:40 PM (xVRrG)

Yes, thank you! So elegant, so classy, so beautiful......such a nice change!

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at May 24, 2017 03:44 PM (evJdV)

285 Outright acquittal or hung jury?

Posted by: Insomniac, Lord Hurlingbone, Earl of Melancholy at May 24, 2017 03:44 PM (0mRoj)

286 Not only does Melania speak Italian, notice how she and Ivanka were dressed to meet the Pope compared to Michelle Antoinette and Barky's little Italian adventure.

Posted by: Cheri at May 24, 2017 03:44 PM (oiNtH)

287 His nickname was Tunacan

------

I knew a gal with that nickname.

Weird.

Posted by: fixerupper at May 24, 2017 03:44 PM (8XRCm)

288 That's how I hang upside down on the monkey bars. Doesn't everyone?

Posted by: Insomniac

====

"Now CLAP!"

Posted by: Mortimer - Finish Her! at May 24, 2017 03:44 PM (C52a9)

289 In a different article about the trail, the claim was that she died of a heart attack or stroke during the oral sex, but the defendant thought he must have killed her, not knowing how long it takes to suffocate.

He apparently left her on his bed for two days before calling his attorney. He was definitely scared and acted guilty, but there was no evidence that he actually killed her, so he was acquitted.

Makes for great click-bait though!

Posted by: Jungle at May 24, 2017 03:45 PM (FiX88)

290 > Yes. I believe she speaks 5 languages.

Do they include French, Russian, and Greek?

Posted by: RegRichard Patterson, 65, of Margate at May 24, 2017 03:45 PM (VpBSr)

291 266 Just not in the mood to read jokes about large penises, so I'm skipping the comments. The guy murdered his girl friend. Even if he did have a large penis. there is no way you wouldn't know someone was choking to death on it even if such a thing is possible. The jurors were morons-and not in a good way!
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at May 24, 2017 03:41 PM (qES5k)

To be fair, she may have died of natural causes. Or she may have gone into laryngopasm. We don't really know, but this crap happens. Usually its the guy who dies in flagrante, but it does happen to women.

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at May 24, 2017 03:45 PM (CPk08)

292 Anyway, slide show of Beautiful Melania visit to Rome pediatric hospital
http://tinyurl.com/nxxbyhb

Posted by: kallisto
============
Thanks - great stuff.
Posted by: simplemind at May 24, 2017 03:40 PM
---

Thanks kallisto!

I've been thinking this for a while, and now it's just time to blurt it out.

Melania reminds me of Princess Diana.

Posted by: shibumi at May 24, 2017 03:45 PM (aT+Bx)

293 285 Outright acquittal or hung jury?

Posted by: Insomniac, Lord Hurlingbone, Earl of Melancholy at May 24, 2017 03:44 PM (0mRoj)

Well hung jury.

Posted by: Some moron at May 24, 2017 03:45 PM (7CM5W)

294 "Just not in the mood to read jokes about large penises"

come on, besides jokes about large penises and comments about nut-shot videos, whaddya think guys talk about?

Posted by: Zorro, the Gay Blade at May 24, 2017 03:46 PM (d6ag0)

295 258

How nice, he made a little sweater for it.

Posted by: WhatWhatWhat? at May 24, 2017 03:40 PM (ul9CR)

Hey, is that a Jefferson High letterman sweater?!?

Posted by: Richie Cunningham at May 24, 2017 03:46 PM (rtfSu)

296 Posted by: Insomniac

===

And your effort was Muldoon-worthy. Well done indeed!

Posted by: Mortimer - Finish Her! at May 24, 2017 03:46 PM (C52a9)

297
I had a feeling they were baiting me during trial...but it was too late to withdraw

Posted by: Acquitted Penis at May 24, 2017 03:46 PM (c6/9Q)

298 294 "Just not in the mood to read jokes about large penises"

come on, besides jokes about large penises and comments about nut-shot videos, whaddya think guys talk about?

Posted by: Zorro, the Gay Blade at May 24, 2017 03:46 PM (d6ag0)

Bacon?

Posted by: Some moron at May 24, 2017 03:46 PM (7CM5W)

299 So what if the current First Lady speaks 5 languages.....are her biceps as toned as Michelle's.....well, are they, haters?

Posted by: The Washington Post at May 24, 2017 03:46 PM (/HC6x)

300 come on, besides jokes about large penises and comments about nut-shot videos, whaddya think guys talk about?
--

Sports?

Cars?

Sports cars?

Car sports?

Posted by: shibumi at May 24, 2017 03:47 PM (aT+Bx)

301 The guy murdered his girl friend. Even if he did have a large penis. there is no way you wouldn't know someone was choking to death on it even if such a thing is possible. The jurors were morons-and not in a good way
==================
Well apparently some third party saw her in between the time she was found dead and the last time Richard was with her. So just maybe, the jury wasn't that dumb.

Maybe Richard was the dumb one, and the prosecutor not much smarter?

Its Florida, anything at all is possible. Plus fake news.

Posted by: simplemind at May 24, 2017 03:47 PM (xVRrG)

302 284
http://tinyurl.com/nxxbyhb

Posted by: kallisto

============

Thanks - great stuff.

Posted by: simplemind at May 24, 2017 03:40 PM (xVRrG)

Yes, thank you! So elegant, so classy, so beautiful......such a nice change!

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at May 24, 2017 03:44 PM (evJdV)
Thank you for that link! Loved the photos...so so lovely.

Posted by: IC at May 24, 2017 03:47 PM (a0IVu)

303
Just not in the mood to read jokes about large penises,

===

How about small ones?

Posted by: Mortimer - Finish Her! at May 24, 2017 03:47 PM (C52a9)

304 "Posted by: Jungle at May 24, 2017 03:45 PM (FiX8

"

To actually be serious for a moment (tough to do in a thread like this), I can sort of imagine it - I mean, I get a bit nervous when I scrape paint with someone's car and have to leave a note, so I can only imagine the complete terror that would envelop you if someone you love just dropped dead next to you, especially in such, uh, unique circumstances. And I can see just not knowing what to do, or being afraid that contacting the police/an attorney will just lead to you getting railroaded - there are quite a few reasons not to trust the criminal justice system, and spouse/significant others are always suspect #1 after a murder.

Of course, when you can think rationally again, you realize that the absolute worst thing you can do is delay/hide it, because it makes you seem guilty.

Posted by: broseidon, news sleuth and provisional komodo dragon at May 24, 2017 03:48 PM (oZ6kz)

305 'Scuse me, judge. What was that about "wang evidence."

Posted by: Jury captain at May 24, 2017 03:48 PM (q6BS+)

306 And your effort was Muldoon-worthy. Well done indeed!
Posted by: Mortimer - Finish Her! at May 24, 2017 03:46 PM (C52a9)

Why thank you. This was a hard one.

Posted by: Insomniac, Lord Hurlingbone, Earl of Melancholy at May 24, 2017 03:48 PM (0mRoj)

307 5 languages, big deal.

Now the crease in Obama's pamts......to die for.

Posted by: David Brooks at May 24, 2017 03:48 PM (/HC6x)

308 I've been thinking this for a while, and now it's just time to blurt it out.

Melania reminds me of Princess Diana.

Posted by: shibumi at May 24, 2017 03:45 PM (aT+Bx)

------

I was thinking Sophia Loren. Especially around the eyes.

Posted by: fixerupper at May 24, 2017 03:48 PM (8XRCm)

309 As part of my retirement, I'm planning on writing a book on law.

Could someone forward me Mr. Patterson's contact information.

Please?

Posted by: Barack O at May 24, 2017 03:48 PM (v8Lx/)

310 Anyway, slide show of Beautiful Melania visit to Rome pediatric hospital -
---

Pfft. She should have worn an off-the-shoulder tacky blouse.

Posted by: Michelle at May 24, 2017 03:49 PM (ZO497)

311 Sports?

Cars?

Sports cars?

Car sports?

Posted by: shibumi at May 24, 2017 03:47 PM (aT+Bx)

Car sports. I think I'm up for that !

Posted by: Acquitted Penis at May 24, 2017 03:49 PM (c6/9Q)

312 Which leads me to question why she was badly decomposed when found. Was her body... hidden?

It's entirely possible to have a decomposing body around the house without it being hidden, child.

Posted by: Emily at May 24, 2017 03:49 PM (p+Wdc)

313 Acquitted after oral testimony.

Posted by: Mr. Feverhead at May 24, 2017 03:49 PM (j1Wvr)

314 Retirement, viagra and Florida are a deadly combination.

Posted by: Strobe at May 24, 2017 03:49 PM (tMfLj)

315 did he cum...I hope this woman didn't die in vain

Posted by: Lemmiwinks and his flaming boner of winning at May 24, 2017 03:49 PM (18h+i)

316 283 This is what they were both going for. Impressive talent the young lady has by the way. Should be SFW.

https://goo.gl/images/BS8Xty

Posted by: Widespread Pepe at May 24, 2017 03:44 PM (2qHjF)

++++

SFW... Sure, if you work at pornhub.

Posted by: Anon Y. Mous at May 24, 2017 03:49 PM (R+30W)

317 I was thinking Sophia Loren. Especially around the eyes.
Posted by: fixerupper
----------

Yup. Near dead-ringer.

Posted by: Michelle at May 24, 2017 03:50 PM (ZO497)

318 Melania reminds me of Princess Diana.

Posted by: shibumi at May 24, 2017 03:45 PM (aT+Bx)

She doesn't have anywhere near Diana's charisma, but she is certainly more like Diana or Jacqueline Kennedy than Michele Obama could ever hope to be, despite the fawning press!

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at May 24, 2017 03:50 PM (evJdV)

319 Story about a murdering penis and someone expects that this will be a dick joke free zone? The chance of that approaches infinity.

Posted by: Jack Sock at May 24, 2017 03:50 PM (Z4z/q)

320 Why thank you. This was a hard one.

Posted by: Insomniac
===

It definitely did not suck.

Posted by: Mortimer - Finish Her! at May 24, 2017 03:50 PM (C52a9)

321 314 Retirement, viagra and Florida are a deadly combination.
Posted by: Strobe at May 24, 2017 03:49 PM (tMfLj)

*cough*The Villages*cough*

Posted by: Insomniac, Lord Hurlingbone, Earl of Melancholy at May 24, 2017 03:50 PM (0mRoj)

322 Speaking of Pensi size, by far the best bit/joke Larry David had post Seinfeld was turning the tables on women complaining about penis size saying they have big vaginas, with hand gestures.

Posted by: Widespread Pepe at May 24, 2017 03:50 PM (2qHjF)

323 266 Just not in the mood to read jokes about large penises ...

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at May 24, 2017 03:41 PM (qES5k)

How about ones that hook to the left?

Posted by: Bill Clinton at May 24, 2017 03:50 PM (rtfSu)

324 I TOLD you, but did you listen? Oh no, nobody ever listens to the giant floating head!

Posted by: Zardoz at May 24, 2017 03:51 PM (0mRoj)

325 Posted by: Insomniac, Lord Hurlingbone, Earl of Melancholy at May 24, 2017 03:48 PM (0mRoj)

You're on fire today!

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at May 24, 2017 03:51 PM (evJdV)

326 they say you shouldn't judge a book by its cover, but Melania just looks like a good egg.

And the former first lady just defines "RBF".

Posted by: simplemind at May 24, 2017 03:51 PM (xVRrG)

327 I bet he doesn't have any post traumatic problems.

Posted by: Jack Sock at May 24, 2017 03:51 PM (Z4z/q)

328
The New AoSHQ: All Cock, All The Time

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at May 24, 2017 03:51 PM (XWkhW)

329 Melania and Trump were holding hands while touring the Sistine chapel..much to the disappointment of our feckless media.

Posted by: IC at May 24, 2017 03:51 PM (a0IVu)

330 We've all gone mad.

Except me. And some of you.

I'm just glad I moved out of the city years ago. I'll never live in one again. They're all crazy down there. There are some crazy ones here too, but they are garden variety small-town crazy. I can handle them.

Posted by: Meremortal at May 24, 2017 03:51 PM (O4wiF)

331 He killed her. Don't know how, but it wasn't sex. That's what teeth are for, unless of course, she had dentures and had taken them out?

Posted by: dagny at May 24, 2017 03:52 PM (xrSGs)

332 A bit OT, but the Manchester bomber's daddy had been an airport security worker:

http://dailym.ai/2rPLJIo

Posted by: notsothoreau at May 24, 2017 03:52 PM (JKNZq)

333 interesting video:

why the seth rich investigation should terrify everyone:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O3GnMx31BJA

BTW... the only one reporting on this is Hannity and they are going full out to get him off the air.

Posted by: shibumi at May 24, 2017 03:52 PM (aT+Bx)

334 The other thing here is it looks like the stupid DA was overreaching by charging him with murder and did not provide a lesser charge like reckless homicide and the jury did not go along with it.

Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at May 24, 2017 03:52 PM (mpXpK)

335 So does he now put a notch on his dick?

Posted by: Buzzsaw90 at May 24, 2017 03:52 PM (oGRue)

336 I had some doubts about Trump before the election. I voted for him, there was no question about that, although in CA such a vote won't really count towards the outcome. The more of this reptilian propaganda that I see, the more I support him. He's it. He and his popular support. There's nothing else a available.

-
Like it or not, the country voted for change and if the Donk media/educational complex prevent change then our democratic republic is dead and votes are meaningless. JFK said that those who make peaceful change impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks and You're Not at May 24, 2017 03:52 PM (Nwg0u)

337 stand your ground?

Posted by: musical jolly chimp at May 24, 2017 03:52 PM (WTSFk)

338 *cough*The Villages*cough*
Posted by: Insomniac, Lord Hurlingbone, Earl of Melancholy at May 24, 2017 03:50 PM (0mRoj)

=======

The per capita STD Capitol of the entire Country.

Posted by: GOULD at May 24, 2017 03:53 PM (Hj4t4)

339 So does he now put a notch on his dick?
Posted by: Buzzsaw90 at May 24, 2017 03:52 PM (oGRue)

----

With a dick notcher.

duh

Posted by: fixerupper at May 24, 2017 03:53 PM (8XRCm)

340 So does he now put a notch on his dick?
Posted by: Buzzsaw90 at May 24, 2017 03:52 PM (oGRue)
_______

as soon as his phone stops ringing, yes, I suppose that is warranted.

Posted by: IP at May 24, 2017 03:53 PM (UmSfZ)

341 333 BTW... the only one reporting on this is Hannity and they are going full out to get him off the air.

Posted by: shibumi at May 24, 2017 03:52 PM (aT+Bx)

He has already said he will no longer cover it at the request of his family.

Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at May 24, 2017 03:53 PM (mpXpK)

342 325 Posted by: Insomniac, Lord Hurlingbone, Earl of Melancholy at May 24, 2017 03:48 PM (0mRoj)

You're on fire today!
Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at May 24, 2017 03:51 PM (evJdV)

Thanks! I try!

Posted by: Insomniac, Lord Hurlingbone, Earl of Melancholy at May 24, 2017 03:53 PM (0mRoj)

343 BTW... the only one reporting on this is Hannity and they are going full out to get him off the air.

Posted by: shibumi at May 24, 2017 03:52 PM (aT+Bx)

---

Yeah.... his sign off last night was....weird.

Posted by: fixerupper at May 24, 2017 03:53 PM (8XRCm)

344 Is it because this is Florida and Florida is humid and humidity leads to faster decomposition? Because that will lead me into an interesting (to me) spiel about how there should be no more Walkers in "The Walking Dead" because Georgia.
Posted by: MWR, Proud Tea(rrorist) Party Assault Hobbit & Vaginassassin, aka Beth at May 24, 2017 03:19 PM (4df7R)

Yeah that's the ticket, the rate of decomposition of bodies in warm humid states completely ruins the show about the reanimated dead walking around.

Posted by: buzzion at May 24, 2017 03:53 PM (z/Ubi)

345 316 283 This is what they were both going for. Impressive talent the young lady has by the way. Should be SFW.

https://goo.gl/images/BS8Xty

Posted by: Widespread Pepe at May 24, 2017 03:44 PM (2qHjF)

++++

SFW... Sure, if you work at pornhub.

Posted by: Anon Y. Mous at May 24, 2017 03:49 PM (R+30W)

I thought because it was not a real 18 inch penis that it might be SFW. Still impressive. You can literally see her neck expand down to her chest.

Posted by: Widespread Pepe at May 24, 2017 03:54 PM (2qHjF)

346 Melania reminds me of Princess Diana.

Posted by: shibumi at May 24, 2017 03:45 PM (aT+Bx)

She doesn't have anywhere near Diana's charisma, but she is
certainly more like Diana or Jacqueline Kennedy than Michele Obama could
ever hope to be, despite the fawning press!
--

To me, Diana had a quiet charm that I see in Melania. Their circumstances are very different, but I see a lot of Melania doing positive things like visiting hospitals. And apparently enjoying the experience.

That's why she reminds me of Diana.

Posted by: shibumi at May 24, 2017 03:54 PM (aT+Bx)

347 I guarantee that any woman that couldn't breath and
chocking and the guy would not remove his dick, would bite the dick in half.

---

for some of us, they'd bite off less than half...

Posted by: Buzzsaw90 at May 24, 2017 03:54 PM (oGRue)

348
Penises are the only objects in the universe that have these statistical properties.

Some might call them... inflated.

Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at May 24, 2017 03:54 PM (pNxlR)

349 In general, I hate to get a tongue lashing, but it happens sometimes - depends on the company

Posted by: Acquitted Penis at May 24, 2017 03:55 PM (c6/9Q)

350 Widespread Pepe at May 24, 2017 03:44 PM (2qHjF)

Hey! That's not SFW! I never would have guessed that I couldn't trust the links posted here.

Posted by: Chris M at May 24, 2017 03:55 PM (eAZVt)

351 Guess the jury found it too hard to handle.

Posted by: dantesed at May 24, 2017 03:55 PM (88xKn)

352 I thought because it was not a real 18 inch penis that it might be SFW.

===

You must never, ever stop commenting.

Posted by: Mortimer - Finish Her! at May 24, 2017 03:55 PM (C52a9)

353 348
Penises are the only objects in the universe that have these statistical properties.

Some might call them... inflated.
Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at May 24, 2017 03:54 PM (pNxlR)

Always searching for the line of best fit.

Posted by: Insomniac, Lord Hurlingbone, Earl of Melancholy at May 24, 2017 03:55 PM (0mRoj)

354 What? What the hell does this mean? Either she was deliberately strangled or accidentally suffocated by penis. If the latter is impossible, and the defense is admitting that, that only leaves the former possibility, and the defendant's claim of what he "thought" happened seems... entirely self-serving and entirely irrelevant.

Maybe that she died of a heart attack or something and the guy just thought his might non-conceptual penis was like the great-slaying swords of old...

Posted by: The Non-conceptual Hat at May 24, 2017 03:56 PM (rUIbB)

355 Man Who Choked Woman To Death With His Penis Gets Off

Sounds like Anthony Weiner wrote a murder novel.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at May 24, 2017 03:56 PM (oVJmc)

356 That's a Ronco dick notcher, bub!

Posted by: Strobe at May 24, 2017 03:56 PM (tMfLj)

357 Yeah that's the ticket, the rate of decomposition of bodies in warm humid states completely ruins the show about the reanimated dead walking around
=======================
Something about Cleveland had been puzzling me, until I read your comment.

Posted by: simplemind at May 24, 2017 03:56 PM (xVRrG)

358 Found the Leftist Twitter-bot phrase for the day!

https://twitter.com/ThePoliticalHat/status/867470972030304256

Posted by: @ThePoliticalHat at May 24, 2017 03:56 PM (rUIbB)

359 After this thread, the ettes really need a fashion thread.

Posted by: IC at May 24, 2017 03:56 PM (a0IVu)

360 Turns out she was allergic to nuts.

Posted by: Mr. Feverhead at May 24, 2017 03:56 PM (j1Wvr)

361 because people are stupid.

Idiocracy is coming.

Posted by: Baroke Insane Owebama at May 24, 2017 03:56 PM (xttKs)

362 I suppose it is tempting, if the only tool you have is a penis, to treat everything as if it were something to be nailed.
- Anonymous

Posted by: - Anonymous at May 24, 2017 03:58 PM (+kahX)

363 The DA should have charged Manslaughter and the man would have been behind bars.

Still you can't defend this at all. Murder does seem extreme.

Posted by: Widespread Pepe at May 24, 2017 03:58 PM (2qHjF)

364 This would have never happened if he'd worn a Romphim.

Posted by: Buzzsaw90 at May 24, 2017 03:58 PM (oGRue)

365 So what's up with Hannity and Seth Rich? I don't watch Fox anymore, is this a reason to watch again?

Posted by: simplemind at May 24, 2017 03:58 PM (xVRrG)

366 I thought because it was not a real 18 inch penis that it might be SFW. Still impressive. You can literally see her neck expand down to her chest.

Posted by: Widespread Pepe at May 24, 2017 03:54 PM (2qHjF)

++++

You should scroll down the page. True, the top few pics show women swallowing dildos like that old Howard Stern kielbasa bit. But, the pics further down involve real dicks in a variety of sex acts.

Posted by: Anon Y. Mous at May 24, 2017 03:59 PM (R+30W)

367

What can I say, my life's been all troughs and peaks, ups and downs...in one day out the next

Posted by: Acquitted Penis at May 24, 2017 03:59 PM (c6/9Q)

368 All trolls are Average Joe, who sucks cock by choice

And

No link posted by a Moron is SFW

Posted by: Chupacabra at May 24, 2017 03:59 PM (bDjRV)

369
Found the Leftist Twitter-bot phrase for the day!

https://twitter.com/ThePoliticalHat/status/867470972030304256

Posted by: @ThePoliticalHat at May 24, 2017 03:56 PM

Heavens to Betsy!

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 24, 2017 03:59 PM (IqV8l)

370 339 So does he now put a notch on his dick?
Posted by: Buzzsaw90 at May 24, 2017 03:52 PM (oGRue)

----

With a dick notcher.

duh

Posted by: fixerupper at May 24, 2017 03:53 PM (8XRCm)

I knew an old guy in my childhood neighborhood named Dick Notcher (http://www.archives.com/1940-census/richard-notcher-ny-63599492). He actually went by the name Rich but close enough.

Posted by: Slappy at May 24, 2017 04:00 PM (rtfSu)

371 Yeah.... his sign off last night was....weird.
---

Hannity was talking about it on his radio show this afternoon. They are threatening his advertisers. They took down O'Reilly, they've taken down Beck, and they've tried to take down Rush. It's now Hannity's turn.

Also... Kim Dotcom says he has evidence that Seth Rich is the DC leaker and will testify. No one is reporting this.

Now... let's reverse it. Let's say Kim Dotcom had evidence that Trump colluded with Russia and will testify. How many SECONDS would it take for a reporter be at Kim Dotcoms house in NZ?

At Gateway Pundit, there's a story about Sheryl Atkinson, who says this is a dangerous new thing... reporters etc. being threatened and told NOT to do investigations.

Welcome to liberal fascism.

Posted by: shibumi at May 24, 2017 04:00 PM (aT+Bx)

372
So does he now put a notch on his dick?

Posted by: Buzzsaw90 at May 24, 2017 03:52 PM (oGRue)

His mohel took care of that for him long ago.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at May 24, 2017 04:00 PM (XWkhW)

373 That whole Melania-slapped-Trump's-hand thing was such Fake News.

She headed for the wrong helicopter as the boarding protocol got mixed up for a minute. Trump thought, correctly, that she was riding in the same copter as he was, while Melania thought she was in one of the others. The First Lady doesn't necessarily ride in the same copter as her hubby. He went to take her hand and she dropped it to head in the other direction.

It was all straightened out a few moments later, but the lying liars in the MFM carefully clipped out the 12-second clip to remove the context.

Posted by: WhatWhatWhat? at May 24, 2017 04:01 PM (ul9CR)

374 Honestly, clicking moron links is like playing Russian roulette. Its either NSFW, Helen Thomas, a giant spider or a Rick roll.

Some of the 'ettes can't be trusted either.

Posted by: simplemind at May 24, 2017 04:01 PM (xVRrG)

375

because people are stupid.

Idiocracy is ~~coming~~ here.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 24, 2017 04:02 PM (IqV8l)

376 Its either NSFW, Helen Thomas, a giant spider or a Rick roll.
_______

or all of the above

Posted by: IP at May 24, 2017 04:02 PM (UmSfZ)

377 I knew an old guy . . .

Posted by: Slappy at May 24, 2017 04:00 PM (rtfSu)

I went to school with a guy named Rusty Cox. He played trombone.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at May 24, 2017 04:02 PM (tbOMB)

378 Wow, and we thought the O.J. jury was stupid.

Posted by: TrivialPursuer at May 24, 2017 04:02 PM (riF5p)

379 Time for me to conduct a penetrating interview with the man.

Posted by: Anderson Cooper at May 24, 2017 04:02 PM (j1Wvr)

380 371
At Gateway Pundit, there's a story about Sheryl Atkinson, who says this is a dangerous new thing... reporters etc. being threatened and told NOT to do investigations.
Posted by: shibumi at May 24, 2017 04:00 PM (aT+Bx)

That's awfully Putinesque behavior on the part of the Democrats, isn't it?

Posted by: rickl at May 24, 2017 04:03 PM (xjiRE)

381 if you have a notched dick don't you get to vote at midnight or something?

Posted by: Flying Allende Brothers at May 24, 2017 04:03 PM (nFwvY)

382 The DA should have charged Manslaughter and the man would have been behind bars.
---------

Wanton disregard for life and limb.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 24, 2017 04:03 PM (ZO497)

383 shibumi: and you get 100 quatloos for correctly understanding what liberal fascism is.

Woodrow Wilson was at his most thuggish over journalism that he didn't like iirc.

Posted by: Boulder terlit hobo at May 24, 2017 04:04 PM (S8weK)

384
At Gateway Pundit, there's a story about Sheryl Atkinson, who says this is a dangerous new thing... reporters etc. being threatened and told NOT to do investigations.

She has a post up at her website about the timeline of Obama surveillance. It's hard to goo through that and get reminded about all these things (and some we weren't even told about) and not think that there's a lot of dirty-dealing going on:

https://sharylattkisson.com/obama-era-surveillance-timeline/

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at May 24, 2017 04:04 PM (oVJmc)

385 Posted by: shibumi at May 24, 2017 03:54 PM (aT+Bx)

I am going to get crucified for this, but I always thought the JEF was great with kids. It was the only time you ever saw a genuine smile on his face. And I think Michele enjoyed her time with kids, too, also a genuine smile. I occasionally had to make myself go find pictures of the both of them around kids to calm myself down when they'd enraged me!

I think Melania will have a hard time with a hostile press, because she's naturally reserved and will probably withdraw when they get vicious, but I also think her natural elegance and grace will win people over.

She reminds me of Jacqueline Kennedy more than anyone else in decades. I don't think her style is quite as spot on as hes was, but personality wise, that's who she reminds me of, especially in regards to a naturally reserved person being thrust into this kind of spectacle.

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at May 24, 2017 04:04 PM (evJdV)

386 The DA should have charged Manslaughter and the man would have been behind bars.
---------
-----
A cock-up on the DA's part.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 24, 2017 04:04 PM (ZO497)

387 For the ladies, and the gents that want a palette cleanser.

Melania fashions here:

http://tinyurl.com/k3s7yfl

Someone needs to take Mrs. Pence in hand. At the inaugural ball, she has a grandmother of the bride thing going on. She can do MUCH better.

Posted by: shibumi at May 24, 2017 04:04 PM (aT+Bx)

388
I sure am glad my lawyer's head was in the right place...the jury looked like a bunch of dicks

Posted by: Acquitted Penis at May 24, 2017 04:04 PM (c6/9Q)

389 So what's up with Hannity and Seth Rich?

====

Hannity, despite his recent flop "Guy Who Will End Hillary's Candidacy with a single interview, actually has done some good stuff lately with digging out some facts.

Regardless if there is anything to it (and I think that there might well be) I think that he just poisoned the well with the Seth Rich story by doubling down on Kim Dotcom and publicly offending Rich's family.

Posted by: Mortimer - Finish Her! at May 24, 2017 04:04 PM (C52a9)

390 Why no, I don't have a girlfriend named Wendy. Mine says "Welcome to Jamaica, have a nice day."

Posted by: Jamacian guy at May 24, 2017 04:05 PM (SpeiC)

391 Posted by: simplemind at May 24, 2017 04:01 PM (xVRrG)

All obscured Cob-logger links are Yoko.

Posted by: Mr. Feverhead at May 24, 2017 04:05 PM (j1Wvr)

392
386 The DA should have charged Manslaughter and the man would have been behind bars.
---------
-----
A cock-up on the DA's part.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 24, 2017 04:04 PM (ZO497)

Pretty big boner.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at May 24, 2017 04:05 PM (oVJmc)

393 simplemind, that was Gotham Princess the cat lady with all those cool friends who used to slip gay porn in here. not really an ette.

Posted by: Boulder terlit hobo at May 24, 2017 04:05 PM (S8weK)

394 shibumi: and you get 100 quatloos for correctly understanding what liberal fascism is.
---

Yay!

Can I use them to buy that love/ beauty pill from Harry Mudd?

Posted by: shibumi at May 24, 2017 04:06 PM (aT+Bx)

395 My girlfriend said she wanted a palate cleanser... I listened...what a ride

Posted by: Acquitted Penis at May 24, 2017 04:06 PM (c6/9Q)

396 Posted by: Mr. Peebles at May 24, 2017 04:04 PM (oVJmc)

She is courageous. Thank GOD the swamp Queen lost the election. Deep State would currently be using all its resources to stamp out dissent.

Instead they're actors in a procedural clown car trying to overturn an election.

Posted by: kallisto at May 24, 2017 04:06 PM (kD8Fh)

397 Posted by: Widespread Pepe at May 24, 2017 03:54 PM (2qHjF)

Posted by: Anon Y. Mous at May 24, 2017 03:59 PM (R+30W)

Again I ask, where do you people work where pictures of dildos is not a problem???

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at May 24, 2017 04:07 PM (evJdV)

398 "332 A bit OT, but the Manchester bomber's daddy had been an airport security worker:

http://dailym.ai/2rPLJIo"

Well that's...not good.

Posted by: Lauren at May 24, 2017 04:07 PM (IeFrQ)

399
Maybe if we're bored we can do a thread ripping on Frum's disgusting politicization of the corpses of the latest muslim terror bombing.

Using Frum's template:

"As we mourn Manchester, remember for a moment...[insert some political fake news narrative that you'd like to beat people over the head with here]"

Posted by: Soothsayer -- That's class! at May 24, 2017 04:07 PM (HZi12)

400
Wow, and we thought the O.J. jury was stupid.
Posted by: TrivialPursuer at May 24, 2017 04:02 PM

No, the O.J. jury's mission was to deliver comeuppance.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 24, 2017 04:07 PM (IqV8l)

401 These kind of stories do nothing to advance the steak and BJ holiday.

Posted by: Jack Sock at May 24, 2017 04:07 PM (Z4z/q)

402 "they've taken down Beck"

In all fairness, that was self inflicted. Beck took himself down... and down... and down....

Posted by: Tom Servo at May 24, 2017 04:07 PM (d6ag0)

403 Can I use them to buy that love/ beauty pill from Harry Mudd?
Posted by: shibumi at May 24, 2017 04:06 PM (aT+Bx)

-----

Oh shibumi.... you didnt need that pill. It was you all along.

Posted by: fixerupper at May 24, 2017 04:07 PM (8XRCm)

404 I knew an old guy in my childhood neighborhood named Dick Notcher (http://www.archives.com/1940-census/richard-notcher-ny-63599492). He actually went by the name Rich but close enough.

Posted by: Slappy at May 24, 2017 04:00 PM (rtfSu)

Dick Dickinson. First thing the guy said on being introduced is
"Yeah, OK my parents stuttered ok? "

Posted by: Some moron at May 24, 2017 04:07 PM (7CM5W)

405 Any news on the Islamic State taking over a part of the Philippines?

Posted by: The Political Hat at May 24, 2017 04:07 PM (rUIbB)

406 397 Posted by: Widespread Pepe at May 24, 2017 03:54 PM (2qHjF)

Posted by: Anon Y. Mous at May 24, 2017 03:59 PM (R+30W)

Again I ask, where do you people work where pictures of dildos is not a problem???
Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at May 24, 2017 04:07 PM (evJdV)

The homeless shelter?

Posted by: Jack Sock at May 24, 2017 04:08 PM (Z4z/q)

407
Manslaughter is LIO of murder

They didnt prove cause of death and they had to

Posted by: ThunderB at May 24, 2017 04:08 PM (eApHj)

408 >>>368 All trolls are Average Joe, who sucks cock by choice

So that's why we don't see him around anymore.
Choked to death by Florida Man.

Posted by: wooga at May 24, 2017 04:08 PM (lUJ/p)

409 403 Can I use them to buy that love/ beauty pill from Harry Mudd?
Posted by: shibumi at May 24, 2017 04:06 PM (aT+Bx)

-----

Oh shibumi.... you didnt need that pill. It was you all along.
Posted by: fixerupper at May 24, 2017 04:07 PM (8XRCm)

Suck up.

Posted by: Insomniac, Lord Hurlingbone, Earl of Melancholy at May 24, 2017 04:08 PM (0mRoj)

410 Posted by: Mortimer - Finish Her! at May 24, 2017 04:04 PM (C52a9) ***

Kim Dotcom predicted in 2015 that Asanage was about to open a can of wiki Whoopass on FAB.

Posted by: kallisto at May 24, 2017 04:08 PM (kD8Fh)

411
"Instead, the defense argued that there was no way of knowing how she died. Medical examiners never determined the cause of death because Marquinez's body was too decomposed."

------

Ummmmmm...... somthings a little "off" on this case.

Posted by: fixerupper at May 24, 2017 03:09 PM (8XRCm)

Seems to me there's a criminal charge for failing to report a death, or improper treatment of human remains. There might have been no way to prove murder, but surely they could prove he failed to accord her body the due treatment.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 24, 2017 04:08 PM (0deF2)

412 Pretty big boner.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at May 24, 2017 04:05 PM (oVJmc)

Prosecution got creamed.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at May 24, 2017 04:08 PM (tbOMB)

413
As we mourn Manchester, remember for a moment that McDonald's is selling the McRib for a limited time this month.

Posted by: David Frum at May 24, 2017 04:08 PM (HZi12)

414 Regardless if there is anything to it (and I think that there might well be) I think that he just poisoned the well with the Seth Rich story by doubling down on Kim Dotcom and publicly offending Rich's family.
---

Sheryl Atkinson said that one of the letters from the Rich family sounded very "managed."

We're assuming that the family wants this thing dropped.

How do we know they have not been threatened?

Someone killed their son. I have no doubt that the "handlers" have told them to tell Hannity to back off or there will be another "robbery."

Also... have extra money? Please send to Judicial Watch. They have subpoended Seth Rich records.

Posted by: shibumi at May 24, 2017 04:08 PM (aT+Bx)

415 385 Posted by: shibumi at May 24, 2017 03:54 PM (aT+Bx)

I am going to get crucified for this, but I always thought the JEF was great with kids. It was the only time you ever saw a genuine smile on his face. And I think Michele enjoyed her time with kids, too, also a genuine smile. I occasionally had to make myself go find pictures of the both of them around kids to calm myself down when they'd enraged me!

Just to be a contrarian, do a google image search on "Stalin with his daughter".

Uncle Joe, a red-handed, paranoid butcher, truly loved his daughter....

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at May 24, 2017 04:09 PM (CPk08)

416 Suck up.
Posted by: Insomniac, Lord Hurlingbone, Earl of Melancholy at May 24, 2017 04:08 PM (0mRoj)

------

Oh toss off and eat your ice cream.

Posted by: fixerupper at May 24, 2017 04:09 PM (8XRCm)

417 Kahns! The Weiner the World Awaited! KAAHHNNSS!

Posted by: Anthony Weiner: Spokesween at May 24, 2017 04:09 PM (bc2Lc)

418
That guy almost got shafted.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at May 24, 2017 04:09 PM (XWkhW)

419 Again I ask, where do you people work where pictures of dildos is not a problem???

LPGA?

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at May 24, 2017 04:10 PM (oVJmc)

420 Again I ask, where do you people work where pictures of dildos is not a problem???
Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at May 24, 2017 04:07 PM (evJdV)

EPA?

Posted by: Chupacabra at May 24, 2017 04:10 PM (bDjRV)

421 The motion to exclude was in rather turgid prose.

Posted by: Insomniac, Lord Hurlingbone, Earl of Melancholy at May 24, 2017 04:10 PM (0mRoj)

422 Obama good with kids?I only remember the one time he made them clear the basketball court because they were messing up his shot.Except he kept missing and missing even after....

Posted by: steevy at May 24, 2017 04:10 PM (rmVvL)

423 Oh shibumi.... you didnt need that pill. It was you all along.
Posted by: fixerupper at May 24, 2017 04:07 PM

Suck up.
Posted by: Insomniac, Lord Hurlingbone, Earl of Melancholy at May 24, 2017 04:08 PM

[blusing]

you're BOTH dreamy!

Posted by: shibumi at May 24, 2017 04:11 PM (aT+Bx)

424 Again I ask, where do you people work where pictures of dildos is not a problem???
Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at May 24, 2017 04:07 PM (evJdV)

Child Protective Services.

Posted by: Insomniac, Lord Hurlingbone, Earl of Melancholy at May 24, 2017 04:11 PM (0mRoj)

425 Again I ask, where do you people work where pictures of dildos is not a problem???
Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at May 24,
==============
WNBA?

Posted by: simplemind at May 24, 2017 04:11 PM (xVRrG)

426 398 "332 A bit OT, but the Manchester bomber's daddy had been an airport security worker:

http://dailym.ai/2rPLJIo"

Well that's...not good.
Posted by: Lauren at May 24, 2017 04:07 PM (IeFrQ)

Not surprising, either.

Posted by: rickl at May 24, 2017 04:11 PM (xjiRE)

427 Not a problem....

https://pjmedia.com/instapundit/265635/

Posted by: steevy at May 24, 2017 04:12 PM (rmVvL)

428 Posted by: Insomniac, Lord Hurlingbone, Earl of Melancholy at May 24, 2017 04:08 PM (0mRoj)

------

Oh toss off and eat your ice cream.
Posted by: fixerupper at May 24, 2017 04:09 PM (8XRCm)

That was my plan for the evening anyway.

Posted by: Insomniac, Lord Hurlingbone, Earl of Melancholy at May 24, 2017 04:12 PM (0mRoj)

429 Posted by: kallisto

===

Yeah I remembered that. Hannity should have let it develop and just monitored instead of cannonballing himself into the story.

But that's what he does.

Posted by: Mortimer - Finish Her! at May 24, 2017 04:12 PM (C52a9)

430 EPA?
Posted by: Chupacabra at May 24, 2017 04:10 PM (bDjRV)

LOL!

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at May 24, 2017 04:12 PM (evJdV)

431 I'm pretty sure Kim Dotcom has a credibility problem. Plus, the parents think he tried to (unsuccessfully) hack into their son's email to plant fake Wikileaks emails.

Posted by: wooga at May 24, 2017 04:12 PM (lUJ/p)

432 Cavuto is flipping his shit right now.

Posted by: GOULD at May 24, 2017 04:12 PM (Hj4t4)

433 Has anyone shared this piece of poetic literature yet?

"There once was a man named Kent

Who's dick was incredibly bent.

To avoid any trouble

He'd stick it in double,

But instead of coming - he went"

Posted by: bergerbilder at May 24, 2017 04:12 PM (lIZQs)

434 Again I ask, where do you people work where pictures of dildos is not a problem???
Posted by: Tammy al-Thor

Personal cell phone using personal data plan.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 24, 2017 04:12 PM (Njtx4)

435 That was my plan for the evening anyway.
Posted by: Insomniac, Lord Hurlingbone, Earl of Melancholy at May 24, 2017 04:12 PM (0mRoj)

-----

shit

Diet Dr Pepper everywhere

Posted by: fixerupper at May 24, 2017 04:13 PM (8XRCm)

436 I had to deal with a lot of adversity, but you have to ram trough the challenges as they open up in front of you....

Posted by: Acquitted Penis at May 24, 2017 04:13 PM (c6/9Q)

437 If you think NRA sends too much junk mail, just wait and see what happens after you send a check to Judicial Watch.

Posted by: Chupacabra at May 24, 2017 04:13 PM (bDjRV)

438
Posted by: shibumi at May 24, 2017 04:04 PM (aT+Bx)

Gorgeous pics!

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at May 24, 2017 04:13 PM (evJdV)

439 Also... have extra money? Please send to Judicial Watch. They have subpoended Seth Rich records.

Posted by: shibumi
===

Good..

Now shuttup, Sean!

Posted by: Mortimer - Finish Her! at May 24, 2017 04:14 PM (C52a9)

440 McRib is back!

Posted by: Jack Osbourne at May 24, 2017 04:14 PM (bc2Lc)

441 424 Again I ask, where do you people work where pictures of dildos is not a problem???
Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at May 24, 2017 04:07 PM (evJdV)

The Congressional Portrait Gallery?

Posted by: Mr. Feverhead at May 24, 2017 04:14 PM (j1Wvr)

442 437 If you think NRA sends too much junk mail, just wait and see what happens after you send a check to Judicial Watch.
Posted by: Chupacabra at May 24, 2017 04:13 PM (bDjRV)

I never got my free gift. Bastages.

Posted by: Jack Sock at May 24, 2017 04:14 PM (Z4z/q)

443 420 Again I ask, where do you people work where pictures of dildos is not a problem???
Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at May 24, 2017 04:07 PM (evJdV)

Washington Post?

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at May 24, 2017 04:14 PM (CPk08)

444 Again I ask, where do you people work where pictures of dildos is not a problem???
Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at May 24, 2017 04:07 PM (evJdV)

The Congressional Portrait Gallery?
===============
Well Played Mr. Feverhead. Well. Played.

Posted by: simplemind at May 24, 2017 04:14 PM (xVRrG)

445
The Limeys just made a 6th arrest in connection with the Manchester bombing. Gee, I hope they didn't do it in an Islamaphobic way

Posted by: TheQuietMan at May 24, 2017 04:15 PM (493sH)

446 It's entirely possible to have a decomposing body around the house without it being hidden, child.

Posted by: Emily at May 24, 2017 03:49 PM (p+Wdc)
*
*
Where is that applause icon when you need it . . .?

Posted by: William Faulkner at May 24, 2017 04:15 PM (jTUfG)

447 shit

Diet Dr Pepper everywhere

Posted by: fixerupper at May 24, 2017 04:13 PM (8XRCm)

You're doing it wrong.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at May 24, 2017 04:15 PM (tbOMB)

448 I'm absolutly appaled at how the defense was handled. Obviously the most scientific way to determine if this was possible would be to have about 20-30 test subjects to see if, in fact, having oral sex with the accused resulted in choking or near choking conditions.

Posted by: Brave New World at May 24, 2017 04:15 PM (cfjq1)

449 445
The Limeys just made a 6th arrest in connection with the Manchester bombing. Gee, I hope they didn't do it in an Islamaphobic way
Posted by: TheQuietMan at May 24, 2017 04:15 PM (493sH)

A pack of lone wolves.

Posted by: Jack Sock at May 24, 2017 04:15 PM (Z4z/q)

450 424 Again I ask, where do you people work where pictures of dildos is not a problem???
Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at May 24, 2017 04:07 PM (evJdV0

Provincetown?

Posted by: Alcoholic Asshole Shut In at May 24, 2017 04:15 PM (CPk08)

451 Posted by: steevy at May 24, 2017 04:10 PM (rmVvL)

More like pics at WH events like the Halloween parade and Easter Egg hunts. And he was adorable with the little Middleton lad...

(Prince George)

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at May 24, 2017 04:16 PM (evJdV)

452 Posted by: fixerupper at May 24, 2017 04:13 PM (8XRCm)

LMAO

Posted by: Insomniac, Lord Hurlingbone, Earl of Melancholy at May 24, 2017 04:16 PM (0mRoj)

453 "Clone wolves"

Posted by: Mortimer - Finish Her! at May 24, 2017 04:16 PM (C52a9)

454 /wanders back in grumbling
...looks like it's dick jokes everywhere today...

Posted by: Brother Cavil, Abbot of St. Costello-on-the-Hurlingbone at May 24, 2017 04:17 PM (AM1GF)

455 I'm absolutly appaled at how the defense was handled. Obviously the most scientific way to determine if this was possible would be to have about 20-30 test subjects to see if, in fact, having oral sex with the accused resulted in choking or near choking conditions.

Posted by: Brave New World at May 24, 2017 04:15 PM (cfjq1)

Barry: I'd like to volunteer.

Posted by: TheQuietMan at May 24, 2017 04:18 PM (493sH)

456 Vaguely related: Denver has decided to sacrifice its women in hopes of protecting illegal aliens and green card over-stayers. They have lowered sentencing for many crimes, including domestic violence, to less than one year. (At one year, ICE takes notice).

Welcome to Denver. Hope you survive.

Posted by: Meremortal at May 24, 2017 04:18 PM (O4wiF)

457
424 Again I ask, where do you people work where pictures of dildos is not a problem???
Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at May 24, 2017 04:07 PM (evJdV)

The Clinton Foundation.....

Okay, I don't exactly work there. What I mean is, I get checks from the Clinton Foundation.....

Well, I USED to get checks from the Clinton Foundation....

Now it's all untraceable cash. Uhhhhh, I mean no, they don't pay me under the table to keep my mouth shut. That's just crazy talk.

Posted by: Anthony Weiner at May 24, 2017 04:18 PM (XWkhW)

458 This thread will go down as one of the great ones, y'all are slaying me over here.

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at May 24, 2017 04:18 PM (evJdV)

459 A new twist on auto-erotic asphyxiation?

In many ways, this is the story of me.

Posted by: Ron Jeremy from Nantucket at May 24, 2017 04:18 PM (+7/1f)

460 I am not sure how to handle all this new gotten notoriety...

Posted by: Acquitted Penis at May 24, 2017 04:19 PM (c6/9Q)

461 This thread will go down as one of the great ones

------

heh heh heh heh

She said "go down"

heh heh heh heh

Posted by: fixerupper at May 24, 2017 04:19 PM (8XRCm)

462 366 I thought because it was not a real 18 inch penis that it might be SFW. Still impressive. You can literally see her neck expand down to her chest.

Posted by: Widespread Pepe at May 24, 2017 03:54 PM (2qHjF)

++++

You should scroll down the page. True, the top few pics show women swallowing dildos like that old Howard Stern kielbasa bit. But, the pics further down involve real dicks in a variety of sex acts.

Posted by: Anon Y. Mous at May 24, 2017 03:59 PM (R+30W)

i didn't scroll down. I thought Google was only sharing that GIF. I apologize. Still impressive right?

Posted by: Widespread Pepe at May 24, 2017 04:20 PM (2qHjF)

463 458
This thread will go down as one of the great ones, y'all are slaying me over here.

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at May 24, 2017 04:18 PM (evJdV)

Remember to come up for air. I think that is the moral of the story.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at May 24, 2017 04:20 PM (tbOMB)

464 The jury found the evidence hard to swallow.

Posted by: Mr. Feverhead at May 24, 2017 04:20 PM (j1Wvr)

465 This thread will go down as one of the great ones, y'all are slaying me over here.

===

That's what she said.

Posted by: Acquitted Penis at May 24, 2017 04:20 PM (C52a9)

466 Posted by: fixerupper at May 24, 2017 04:19 PM (8XRCm)

Incorrigible.

Posted by: Tammy al-Thor at May 24, 2017 04:21 PM (evJdV)

467
Cavuto is flipping his shit right now.
Posted by: GOULD at May 24, 2017 04:12 PM

I wanted to punch Goolsbee right in the face. Repeatedly.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 24, 2017 04:21 PM (IqV8l)

468 Remember to come up for air. I think that is the moral of the story.

Posted by: flounder

And a monosyllabic safe word.

Or grunt

Posted by: Bruce at May 24, 2017 04:21 PM (8ikIW)

469 Was this an angry dragon or donkey punch? I get them confused.

Posted by: simplemind at May 24, 2017 04:22 PM (xVRrG)

470 The jury left with their heads throbbing.

Posted by: Insomniac, Lord Hurlingbone, Earl of Melancholy at May 24, 2017 04:23 PM (0mRoj)

471 Got my dose of TV for the week. Walked by one, and there was Durbin, talking about following evidence (Russians!) or some such nonsense.

Posted by: Meremortal at May 24, 2017 04:23 PM (O4wiF)

472 Was she an illegal?

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at May 24, 2017 04:23 PM (vRcUp)

473 But that's what he does.
Posted by: Mortimer - Finish Her! at May 24, 2017 04:12 PM (C52a9)

How is the story developing though? Hannity is the only high profile individual who has brought it front and center. There's a lot about him that annoys me, but I applaud him for putting his behind on the line in this case.

*wooga* You posted Kim Dotcom has a credibility problem.

He has already offered to give testimony to Mueller. Also, Seth Rich's folks are experts in IT? How did they arrive at the conclusion that Dotcom was messing with son's email acct?

Posted by: kallisto at May 24, 2017 04:23 PM (gssPL)

474 I'm certain the men of Ace of Spades are similarly-situated and deal with this heavy, veiney burden as well.

Well, Yes indeed. Even the Ghey horde members, so to speak.

Posted by: Ralph at May 24, 2017 04:24 PM (S0Cig)

475 There once was a young Ron from Nantucket.
Whose cock was so long he could suck it.
Until one day he got too aroused.
And gagged on his own hose.
And promptly, snuffed it.

Posted by: Ron Jeremy from Nantucket at May 24, 2017 04:24 PM (+7/1f)

476 188 There is no defending this.

The only thing that I can think of is that she was laying on her back with her head off the end of the bed and he was fucking her face hard making her gag and she consented. He hit her gag reflex and she threw up drowning herself. He probably never realized it. He then freaked out and hid the body.

There is a price to pay for degenerate behavior that you might learn from extreme porn and this is one of them.
Posted by: Widespread Pepe at May 24, 2017 03:30 PM (2qHjF)

I bet he was pinching her nose closed.

Case is solved. He should be in prison and face the firing squad. He literally skull fucked her.

No defending this.

Posted by: Widespread Pepe at May 24, 2017 04:24 PM (2qHjF)

477 471 Got my dose of TV for the week. Walked by one, and there was Durbin, talking about following evidence (Russians!) or some such nonsense.
Posted by: Meremortal at May 24, 2017 04:23 PM (O4wiF)

Fuck Durbin with Richard Patterson's dick.

Posted by: Insomniac, Lord Hurlingbone, Earl of Melancholy at May 24, 2017 04:24 PM (0mRoj)

478 I wanted to punch Goolsbee right in the face. Repeatedly.
Posted by: Bertram Cabot, Jr. at May 24, 2017 04:21 PM (IqV8l)

=====3

Yeah, he has one the most smug and punchable faces in D.C., and that's saying a lot.

Posted by: GOULD at May 24, 2017 04:24 PM (Hj4t4)

479 Welcome to Denver. Hope you survive.

Posted by: Meremorta

Denver has a ever growing problem with homeless, drugs, crime, etc. Almost every day the Denver post has articles about it and some of them drift over to the Western Slope where I am and were are seeing quite the uptick in crime.

Posted by: Cheri at May 24, 2017 04:25 PM (oiNtH)

480 Ace of Spades, smart military blog for the well hung conservative.

Posted by: Ralph at May 24, 2017 04:25 PM (S0Cig)

481 472 Was she an illegal?
Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at May 24, 2017 04:23 PM (vRcUp)

Uncockumented.

Posted by: Insomniac, Lord Hurlingbone, Earl of Melancholy at May 24, 2017 04:25 PM (0mRoj)

482 Durbin is a dick. Trust me...

Posted by: Acquitted Penis at May 24, 2017 04:26 PM (c6/9Q)

483 Half the country lives in an alternate reality wherein the democrats haven't been in communism's pocket since 1950, and where Joe McCarthy is now regarded as a herald warning us of Trump/Russia collusion.

Posted by: simplemind at May 24, 2017 04:27 PM (xVRrG)

484 This gives choking the chicken a whole different meaning.

Classify this under Florida weirdness.

Posted by: colfax mingo at May 24, 2017 04:27 PM (FLjWH)

485 468
Remember to come up for air. I think that is the moral of the story.

Posted by: flounder

And a monosyllabic safe word.

Or grunt

Posted by: Bruce at May 24, 2017 04:21 PM (8ikIW)

At least keep your dentures in.

Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at May 24, 2017 04:27 PM (jxbfJ)

486 OMG IT'S FULL OF WANG

Posted by: kallisto at May 24, 2017 04:27 PM (gssPL)

487 Could he have put poison on it before she partook? He might have done it that way.

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at May 24, 2017 04:27 PM (vRcUp)

488 Forget it, Jake. It's Penistown.

Posted by: Lawrence Walsh at May 24, 2017 04:27 PM (NgMqF)

489 Did Showtime release all the episodes to Twin Peaks 2017 at once?

Posted by: Widespread Pepe at May 24, 2017 04:27 PM (2qHjF)

490 Posted by: Cheri at May 24, 2017 04:25 PM (oiNtH)

I'm west slope too. Left the Denver area 8 years ago. I kept moving west over a period of 35 years, from SE Denver to SW Denver, to Lakewood, to Littleton and right on up into the mountains.

Saw that Durango is having issues, so the problems are leap-frogging now. I'm in a backwater, so far so good.

Posted by: Meremortal at May 24, 2017 04:28 PM (O4wiF)

491 She was a joker. A toker. A midnight choker.

Posted by: Steve Miller at May 24, 2017 04:28 PM (IqV8l)

492 YOU'RE GODDAMN RIGHT I ORDERED THE CHOAD RED!

Posted by: Col. Nathan R. Jessup at May 24, 2017 04:28 PM (0mRoj)

493 Was she an illegal?

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at May 24, 2017 04:23 PM (vRcUp)

Doing the jobs Americans don't want to

Posted by: TheQuietMan at May 24, 2017 04:28 PM (493sH)

494 At least keep your dentures in.
Posted by: Our Country is Screwed at May 24, 2017 04:27 PM (jxbfJ)

------

Tammy has dentures??

Posted by: fixerupper at May 24, 2017 04:29 PM (8XRCm)

495 What it were Jenner? He could just say "I disposed of the evidence".

Posted by: Steve and Cold Bear at May 24, 2017 04:30 PM (vRcUp)

496 483 Half the country lives in an alternate reality wherein the democrats haven't been in communism's pocket since 1950
Posted by: simplemind at May 24, 2017 04:27 PM (xVRrG)

1933, but who's counting?

Posted by: rickl at May 24, 2017 04:30 PM (xjiRE)

497 Welcome to Denver. Hope you survive.

Posted by: Meremorta

Denver has a ever growing problem with homeless, drugs, crime, etc. Almost every day the Denver post has articles about it and some of them drift over to the Western Slope where I am and were are seeing quite the uptick in crime.
Posted by: Cheri at May 24, 2017 04:25 PM (oiNtH)

I'm not blaming the meth, illegals, and Asain gangs , but yeah it was the Underbelly of Denevr 15 years ago and was out of controll then. I can only imagine how terrible it is now.

Posted by: Widespread Pepe at May 24, 2017 04:30 PM (2qHjF)

498 Saw that Durango is having issues, so the problems are leap-frogging now. I'm in a backwater, so far so good.

Posted by: Meremortal

That's right about Durango - business owners are up in arms at what was a charming, artsy place is now plagued with this. So sad.

Posted by: Cheri at May 24, 2017 04:31 PM (oiNtH)

499 Posted by: William Faulkner at May 24, 2017 04:15 PM

About freakin' time. I was starting to worry about you people.

Posted by: RedMindBlueState at May 24, 2017 04:31 PM (p+Wdc)

500
469 Was this an angry dragon or donkey punch? I get them confused.

Posted by: simplemind at May 24, 2017 04:22 PM (xVRrG)

By the way, there's a Limey horror film from a couple of years back called Donkey Punch. Yes, the horror stuff starts with one.

Posted by: IllTemperedCur at May 24, 2017 04:31 PM (XWkhW)

501 I was in Denver a couple of months ago. Every intersection there was a guy holding a sign begging one on each corner so four guys at every intersection. never seen anything like it. Also driving on the highway really seemed like there were a lot of stoned people driving.

Posted by: simplemind at May 24, 2017 04:32 PM (C6xeQ)

502 Posted by: Cheri at May 24, 2017 04:31 PM (oiNt

I'm in Grand County, how about you (if it's OK to say)?

Still people here who don't lock their doors.

Posted by: Meremortal at May 24, 2017 04:34 PM (O4wiF)

503
Not for anything, but there's an oral scene in the film Debbie Does Dallas where one of Debbie's co-cheerleaders begins to gag and cough prompting her male partner in the scene to encourage her to "Stay alive! Stay alive, baby!"

Posted by: David Frum at May 24, 2017 04:36 PM (HZi12)

504 Choking a chick with yer dick. Who hasn't been there before. Amirite?

Posted by: Marmo, so tired of fascist anti-fascists at May 24, 2017 04:36 PM (xujbM)

505 "I was in Denver a couple of months ago. Every intersection there was a guy holding a sign begging one on each corner"

Begging on a corner in a state with the hottest economy in the country.

2.3%

Posted by: Meremortal at May 24, 2017 04:37 PM (O4wiF)

506 This is NSFW but is a great for serious research into just how she may have been murdered by penis.

http://www.theadultblog.com/1000-best-girls-giving- blowjobs-gifs-part-1-deep-throat-collection/

Posted by: Widespread Pepe at May 24, 2017 04:37 PM (2qHjF)

507 >>>495 What it were Jenner? He could just say "I disposed of the evidence".

More likely that Jenner would end up as simultaneously the perpetrator and victim of such a wang-choke crime.

Posted by: wooga at May 24, 2017 04:37 PM (lUJ/p)

508
This woman didn't die from a penis in her throat. She died from Trump's lies and obstruction of justice.

Posted by: David Frum at May 24, 2017 04:38 PM (HZi12)

509 Sheryl Atkinson said that one of the letters from the Rich family sounded very "managed."

We're assuming that the family wants this thing dropped.

How do we know they have not been threatened?

Someone killed their son. I have no doubt that the "handlers" have told them to tell Hannity to back off or there will be another "robbery."

Also... have extra money? Please send to Judicial Watch. They have subpoended Seth Rich records.
Posted by: shibumi at May 24, 2017 04:08 PM (aT+Bx)

The parents are also long time democrats... they will believe what the party tells them... and parrot the party line...

There are none so blind, as those who REFUSE to see...

Posted by: Don Q. at May 24, 2017 04:38 PM (NgKpN)

510 Ok, this thread has been dicked to death and is rapidly decomposing....

Posted by: JoeF. at May 24, 2017 04:39 PM (7uYFy)

511 2.3% unemployment rate, I mean.

I got a daughter there who has a GED and a few college courses. She's making 80K a year.

Posted by: Meremortal at May 24, 2017 04:39 PM (O4wiF)

512 I'm a Criminal Defense Attorney ....
many trials over my 30 odd career ...
I have had cases that I couldn't lose and lost and cases that I couldn't win and I've won ...
You gotta be there ... it's a dynamic thing: a trial ...
and, finally .... "Truth is often stranger than fiction"
Ya never know!

Posted by: steve watson at May 24, 2017 04:39 PM (sm4cZ)

513 508

This woman didn't die from a penis in her throat. She died from Trump's lies and obstruction of justice.

Posted by: David Frum at May 24, 2017 04:38 PM (HZi12)

That's funny.

Posted by: flounder, rebel, vulgarian, deplorable, winner at May 24, 2017 04:39 PM (tbOMB)

514

Manchester Bombers family

These are the same people Obama called rebels and supported to get rid of Quaddafi

Posted by: ThunderB at May 24, 2017 04:40 PM (eApHj)

515 When did Frum become such a douche? I used to read his columns years ago...

Posted by: JoeF. at May 24, 2017 04:40 PM (7uYFy)

516

Manchester bombers were the same people we armed in Benghazi

Posted by: ThunderB at May 24, 2017 04:41 PM (eApHj)

517 >>>There are none so blind, as those who REFUSE to see...

Applies to all the CTs still grasping at straws...

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at May 24, 2017 04:42 PM (5A+It)

518

Tbe same groups that used those arms to attack the consulate

Posted by: ThunderB at May 24, 2017 04:42 PM (eApHj)

519 OT, but related. Hot as fuck homeless gym girl is missing. I'm very concerned for her well being. I have not seen her in a week. I'm worried her muscular long legs will get fat, which appears could easily happen as she is pushing 25 and she will lose the thigh gap.

Posted by: Widespread Pepe at May 24, 2017 04:42 PM (2qHjF)

520 I really detest these choking on Richard stories. Mostly I get rolling eyes and ho-hum kind of responses, but still, a guy should know when to stop with the ... oh, f* it, let the lawyers make a little money.

Posted by: goon at May 24, 2017 04:42 PM (EaQ6/)

521 Begging on a corner in a state with the hottest economy in the country.

2.3%

Posted by: Meremortal at May 24, 2017 04:37 PM (O4wiF)

Legalized weed.

Posted by: Zombie Leon Uris at May 24, 2017 04:43 PM (i0ykY)

522 Nood Denver

Posted by: rickb223 at May 24, 2017 04:44 PM (Njtx4)

523 There may have been a time. Say,15 years ago, when I may have penis-choked a woman. Today? Not so much. I'd have to use my hands.

Posted by: Eromero at May 24, 2017 04:44 PM (zLDYs)

524 Man Who Choked Woman To Death With His Penis Gets Off

No pun intended?

Posted by: goon at May 24, 2017 04:45 PM (EaQ6/)

525 The parents are also long time democrats... they will believe what the party tells them... and parrot the party line...

There are none so blind, as those who REFUSE to see...
Posted by: Don Q. at May 24, 2017 04:38 PM (NgKpN)

Yeah, but you know what? It doesn't matter. Murder investigations don't stop because the family doesn't want to talk about it. If an actual murder--followed by a cover-up --has occurred, it's out of their hands.

Posted by: JoeF. at May 24, 2017 04:45 PM (7uYFy)

526 >>> mean, it's a cool story, but he didn't actually present the "Oh Whoops Oops Oooh I Dropped My Monster Condom That I Use For My Magnum Dong" defense to the jury. He was acquitted because no cause of death could be determined.

I learned it from the media, Masturbatin' Pete.

Posted by: Guy Who's Pretty Proud To Have Taken 8th Grade Spanish at May 24, 2017 04:45 PM (8rNrN)

527 rickb stealing my job
Nood Illegals

Posted by: Skip at May 24, 2017 04:45 PM (Ot7+c)

528 He has already offered to give testimony to Mueller. Also, Seth Rich's folks are experts in IT? How did they arrive at the conclusion that Dotcom was messing with son's email acct?

Posted by: kallisto at May 24, 2017 04:23 PM (gssPL)

The parents are dyed-in-the-wool Democrats and refuse to believe their darling son could have been anything but a good little apparatchik, so it's easier for them to believe in the looney theory of the botched robbery.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 24, 2017 04:47 PM (0deF2)

529 Ace's point in that a Having a Big Penis is a certain type of "privilege" is true. Women won't admit it and most men wish it weren't so, but being "huge" opens a lot of doors and papers over a lot of it's owner's other "shortcomings."

Posted by: JoeF. at May 24, 2017 04:48 PM (7uYFy)

530 511 2.3% unemployment rate, I mean.

I got a daughter there who has a GED and a few college courses. She's making 80K a year.
*
*
When I lived in Denver (God how I wish I could go back) from '97 to '01, the old-timers told me that Denver has *always* gone through boom and bust cycles, and that the inhabitants invariably forget about the last bust when they're riding high on a boom. Sounds like they're soaring about now!

Posted by: William Faulkner at May 24, 2017 04:48 PM (jTUfG)

531 >>>489 Did Showtime release all the episodes to Twin Peaks 2017 at once?

no. In fact, David Lynch would not agree to a Netflix-style release where all were released at one time.

HOWEVER, they did a sorta-binge-watch compromise where they AIRED episodes 1 and 2, and then made episodes 3-4 available for download.

So it's kind of like a partial binge-watch release, but not a full one, because David Lynch (correctly, I think) thinks that when people binge-watch, they don't really watch, and also, people get pretty sick of it.

A lot of complaints about the Netflix superhero series are about repetitiveness and tedium about six episodes in.

That's probably a fair criticism, but I can't help but think this problem is greatly multiplied due to the fact that fans watch 13 hours of this crap over a weekend.

Too much! Hell, you'd get bored of choking a girl with your massive meat-bat if you did it 13 hours in a row.

Posted by: Guy Who's Pretty Proud To Have Taken 8th Grade Spanish at May 24, 2017 04:50 PM (8rNrN)

532 Posted by: Widespread Pepe at May 24, 2017 04:42 PM (2qHjF)

And what age are you pushing Pepe and do you have any "gaps"? If you're concerned about her safety notify the police.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at May 24, 2017 04:51 PM (qES5k)

533 >>>The only thing that I can think of is that she was laying on her back with her head off the end of the bed and he was fucking her face hard making her gag and she consented. He hit her gag reflex and she threw up drowning herself. He probably never realized it. He then freaked out and hid the body.

no way.

As someone who has sleep apnea, I can tell you, even when you're unconscious, if your airflow is cut off, you react violently.

No way this could happen without a woman violently pulling away, or even deploying the most ancient weapon humans possess (teeth).

No one gets suffocated without a fight.

Posted by: ace at May 24, 2017 05:01 PM (8rNrN)

534 She was shlonged!

www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=schlonged
When a man beats a woman, like he would with his penis, in the race for President of the United States.

Posted by: Wontsubmit at May 24, 2017 05:02 PM (122Gu)

535 532 Posted by: Widespread Pepe at May 24, 2017 04:42 PM (2qHjF)

And what age are you pushing Pepe and do you have any "gaps"? If you're concerned about her safety notify the police.
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at May 24, 2017 04:51 PM (qES5k)

You took my comment way to seriously.

Posted by: Widespread Pepe at May 24, 2017 05:06 PM (2qHjF)

536 I find this entire defence hard to swallow.

Posted by: Mythx at May 24, 2017 05:08 PM (pW8/l)

537 533 >>>The only thing that I can think of is that she was laying on her back with her head off the end of the bed and he was fucking her face hard making her gag and she consented. He hit her gag reflex and she threw up drowning herself. He probably never realized it. He then freaked out and hid the body.

no way.

As someone who has sleep apnea, I can tell you, even when you're unconscious, if your airflow is cut off, you react violently.

No way this could happen without a woman violently pulling away, or even deploying the most ancient weapon humans possess (teeth).

No one gets suffocated without a fight.

Posted by: ace at May 24, 2017 05:01 PM (8rNrN)

She had teeth?

Posted by: Widespread Pepe at May 24, 2017 05:09 PM (2qHjF)

538 She obviously took her teeth out first.

Posted by: BC733 at May 24, 2017 05:13 PM (lVY5A)

539 cackle.

When i shoot my gun I shoot to kill..

Posted by: trax at May 24, 2017 06:00 PM (bqLNf)

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