Batman V. Superman: Ruminations on Deicide With Occasional CGI Sparkles

I finally saw Batman V. Superman.

I did not see it, however, with the 30 minutes of footage they'd cut out, but then offered earlier on PPV. I saw the theatrical cut.

How was it?

Well, before I say, let me say I heard a lot of bad things about this movie before hand. Therefore, my expectations were pretty low.

That's important.

How was it? It was... not bad. Pretty good. Flawed. I can barely remember it, to be honest with you. But I thought it was okay.

First things first: Ben Affleck made a good Bruce Wayne and Batman. Oddly -- I don't know why he made this choice -- he sort of has a light southern drawl in his guise as Bruce Wayne.

Why? Bruce Wayne's a damn yankee. Gotham is obviously a New York City analogue. Is Ben Affleck's idea of "rich" the same as his idea as "Georgian"?

But that little odd choice aside, he was good. He looked like Wayne. He had -- for once -- the almost glowing playboy handsomeness I imagined Wayne would have. (See him portrayed in the WB animated "World's Finest" where he suavely picks up Lois Lane, stealing her right from Clark Kent, using nothing but his looks, charm, and billion-dollar trust fund.)

He was physically large and carried himself with the weight of age -- a bit like the Frank Miller Dark Knight, except around early 40s instead of middle 50s. (Alfred in the movie says he's been fighting crime "for twenty years.")

Also, Batman finally wore something that looks like the actual Batman costume: Dark cowl and cape, gray body.

Let's move on to Lex Luthor. I thought I would hate this performance. Luthor was portrayed perfectly in the WB animated series: A large imposing genius who had made himself physically strong not due to any need to be physically strong, but because he was a megalomaniac who could not live with himself if he were not strong enough to kill a man with his bare hands.

This film offers the waifish Jesse Eisenberg, as far from the new cartoon Luthor as you can get.

I was able to accept his performance for a while because it was stated he was Alexander Luthor, and he got his company from his dad; therefore, I reasoned, this is just the "Real" Luthor's son.

Later on, though, they say that the orginal Lex Luthor is dead. (They couldn't stop themselves from making Bruce, Clark, and Lex all be the sons of dead fathers.)

However, by the time they confirmed this was the real Luthor, I had begun to appreciate Eisenberg's take. No, this is not my favorite sort of Luthor, but this was a good Luthor, even if not the choice I would have made.

This Luthor is waifish, vain, callow, needy, and obviously psychopathic. I think the Red Letter Media guys noted this Luthor has a great deal of The Joker's DNA in him. Indeed, he does -- this Luthor reminded me a lot of the Joker maniac minion who Harvey Dent tries to torture in the Dark Knight, the one Batman stops him from hurting, saying "He doesn't have any information. Look at him -- he's psychotic."

Would I have gone this way? No, I would not have stepped into The Joker's Character Space to make a character that was kind of like The Joker. But what is on screen is still pretty good.

Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman: One of the toughest characters in the world to cast. Think about it: Wonder Woman must be physically hot, and therefore ripely, voluptuously feminine. But, simultaneously, she must be heroically athletic, because she's a superhero.

How do you find a woman who is both Lynda Carter and Rhonda Roussey at the same time?

I don't think you can. So instead they hired a very skinny model. However, even though she doesn't really fit the busty raven-haired pin-up model take, nor the muscular athlete take, she has a kind of strong, confident presence that makes you say, "Okay, sure, this is Wonder Woman. Close enough."

She's Israeli. I mention that because Wonder Woman herself is Greek -- she shouldn't be Anglo. She should be Mediterranean-looking. Gal Gadot is that, so it works for me.

She isn't given much to do. But the little she's given, she does pretty well. She's meant to come across as pretty, mysterious, and maybe dangerous. She does.

I really loved Henry Cavil as Napoleon Solo, and I do like his corny, wholesome take as Clark Kent. But I have to say, this is really much more of a Batman movie than a Superman movie. I always feel bad that Superman gets short shrift. I like Supes. I don't love him like Batman, but the fact that I like him makes me feel bad when they don't really do much with him.

Cavil was fine, Clark was fine, Superman was fine. But... Wanted more.

Amy Adams is not at all my idea of Lois Lane. Just... no. I'm going to have to insist on the fast-talking spitfire Lois Lane, not this quiet, vulnerable mousey version.

The plot operates on two levels: the emotional, meta-level, where details don't matter so much, and the actual specific mechanisms of the plot.

The emotional, overarching plot is good: Bruce Wayne hates Superman because he personally witnessed the carnage Superman (accidentally) caused in Metropolis, and lost a lot of his own employees in the fight in Man of Steel. (He seems to have an office in Metropolis.) He has made it his last major goal to defeat the most dangerous threat to humanity on the planet: Superman, a much bigger threat -- potentially -- than even Joker.

Meanwhile, Lex Luthor is, somewhat cleverly, the Nietzchean Uberman, the man who must make himself greater than God by killing God. Or, God's closest physical analogue, Superman.

Luthor entertains himself by noting various myths of deicide, and thinks of himself as Prometheus, the Titan who wanted to save humanity from the gods.

All this chatter about Man Versus God and the need for man to bow to god -- or to make god bow to man -- is actually pretty decent. It's clever without being overclever, I think. It's literate without being show-offy and pretentious.

So it works.

Then we have the actual plot, the things that actually happen in the movie.

I'll make this short: very little of the actual plot makes sense. Luthor's specific plans don't make sense, Batman's specific desire to kill Superman -- based only the possiblity that Superman could go rogue -- doesn't make sense.

In the comics, Bruce always had a plan to kill Superman, if it became necessary to do so. He plotted it; he prepared for it.

Just in case.

In this movie, Bruce doesn't just plan; he executes. And I do mean executes. (Or tries to, at least.)

Again, just based on his hunch that this Kryptonian could be a problem down the road.

Does this make sense? Is this Batman, or is this Luthor? Luthor would just kill Superman because he wants to kill Superman.

But would Batman?

No. No, he would not.

Superman's desire to oppose (not kill-- just warn off) Batman makes sense, but it's also not really that dramatic. Superman actually behaves rationally. He doesn't act like a God-Murdering Zealot like Batman. So I have to say, while Superman makes sense, he's just not as interesting as the lunatic Batman, who makes no sense, but is compelling, as lunatics often are.

The only reason Superman even fights Batman is because... Luthor has some kind of idiotic plan to force him to.

It doesn't really make sense.

The action is not particularly good. There's too much CGI -- a favorite effect is to have Superman speed into a blur; but the blur looks like a fast, blurry cartoon -- and there's too much obvious computer cartooning and nothing really feels visceral and real when they start flying around.

Can Batman really survive some of the concussion hits he takes just because he's wearing armor? If I wear plate armor, can I survive being hit by a truck?

That said, I have to tell you, the non-action parts, the parts where Batman is investigating Luthor and Superman, or when Superman is looking into Batman's increasingly-violent crime control in Gotham, or Bruce Wayne following around the mysterious Dianna Prince -- is all pretty good.

It all looks pretty good (the actual physically photographed stuff, rather than the computer generated crap). It's "dark," tonally, but not so dark you can't see. It conveys darkness, while actually having enough light and color in it to please the eye.

It's just the plot is kind of stupid, and there's a bunch of set-up for the next one, whose plot is now completely spelled out. See, Bruce Wayne keeps getting some kind of psychic images -- not his own psychic power, I came to believe, but rather, he is being sent signals from a psionic on another planet -- of a coming apocalypse.

What's obviously going to happen is that "Darkseid" from the planet Apokalypse is going to come to earth and enslave Superman and make him Champion of Apokalypse and have Superman pummel the earth into submission, and Batman and Wonder Woman will have to recruit the rest of the Justice League to fight Superman.

Um... didn't they just sort of fight Superman? They're going to do that again?

Ah well.

Lot of stuff in the movie taken from videogame interpretations; you'll see bits of the Arkham games design aesthetic, as well as some stuff from Injustice.

Overall, I liked it. Not a disaster.

But also not a triumph, alas. It's a shame; they had almost all the ingredients of a real winner here. All they managed, though, was a single.

Oh Wait: I forgot the dumbest thing in the movie.

For some bizarrely stupid reason, Luthor conspires to make it look as if Superman... killed a bunch of terrorists. Because, he thinks, this will turn American opinion against him.

Killing terrorists. The American public will say, "How COULD you, Superman?!!?"

Whatever.

But even worse, how are these terrorists killed?

Remember, Luthor's trying frame Superman for their deaths.

So the terrorists are killed.. with bullets. Because, you know, Superman carries a gun.

Why not kill them with ruby red lasers to simulate a projectile weapon Superman actually carries -- you know, his eyes?

Nope. Bullets.

And not just bullets-- but super special hypermetal bullets that are made by exactly one company: LexCorp.

Gee, that'll really throw people off the scent, huh?

"General, these men were killed with bullets."

"I see. Sounds like Superman."

"Indeed. And there's more -- the bullets were made by Superman's archenemy, Lex Luthor."

"Well, I've heard enough-- arrest Superman!!!"

Later on, Luthor tries to frame Superman again.

But this time, he's smart enough not to use bullets.

This time, he uses a bomb.

You know -- he blows them up with a bomb, Superman-Style.

Posted by: Ace at 06:53 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Near the top.

Posted by: Country Boy at July 22, 2016 06:54 PM (oO+cT)

2 Oh nailed it!!!

Uh oh.....

Posted by: Country Boy at July 22, 2016 06:55 PM (oO+cT)

3 I don't know how to fix the italics ace.

Posted by: Country Boy at July 22, 2016 06:55 PM (oO+cT)

4 Umm....the barrel???

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 22, 2016 06:56 PM (1ZOkK)

5 Heh heheheheheheheheh

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 22, 2016 06:56 PM (1ZOkK)

6 OT: can somebody give up the link to ace's IF thread?

I'm excited about this new Monday feature.

And what's the scoop on the Grapevine Mills sign? Why does it say 30.06?

Posted by: Country Boy at July 22, 2016 06:57 PM (oO+cT)

7

We watched the extended version.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at July 22, 2016 06:58 PM (qCMvj)

8 Hmm. I'll watch this tonight and then read the post.

Posted by: Grump928(C) says Free Soothie! at July 22, 2016 06:58 PM (rwI+c)

9 Ahhh....

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 22, 2016 06:59 PM (1ZOkK)

10 Everything is slanted like the bad guys lairs in the 60s Batman TV show

Posted by: TheQuietMan at July 22, 2016 06:59 PM (GILMl)

11 Ace, a serious question. Being on the no-carb thing, what do you do when you're in a theater overwhelmed with the smell of buttered popcorn goodness??

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 22, 2016 06:59 PM (1ZOkK)

12 >>>7

We watched the extended version.

...

what did you think? Did it make things make more damn sense?

Posted by: ace at July 22, 2016 07:00 PM (dciA+)

13 This film offers the waifish Jesse Eisenberg, as far from the new cartoon Luthor as you can get.

I found this one of the major flaws, the casting for Luthor.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at July 22, 2016 07:01 PM (qCMvj)

14 You could get the type with the so-called "fitness models". This is the stage before the 'roided up female bodybuilder stage, which becomes grotesque.

But the problem is they can't act.....

Posted by: publius (not Breitbart publius) at July 22, 2016 07:01 PM (DW+jj)

15 I haven't seen it yet. I'll likely get the extended cut on blu ray. But what I've heard most is that it's... Average. And that's the problem. You're not looking for an average film when it's batman v superman. God do I wish they would fire zack Snyder.

Posted by: Buzzion at July 22, 2016 07:02 PM (z/Ubi)

16 It sounds like I would not like this movie. RThe further they get away from the characters and plots of the golden age of comics in the 50s and 60s the worse off they are getting. They move further to the left and more into PC.

And no, even though it was not accurate, the Amazons who spawned Wonder Woman were not portrayed as "Greeks" in the original comments. In fact, a lot of them were blond and ALL of them were hawt.

Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at July 22, 2016 07:03 PM (mpXpK)

17 I just couldn't bring myself to see this. "Man of Steel" was so bad, in the sense of just-not-capturing Superman.

One of my preferred theaters is showing the Salkind/Donner version in a week or two. Ima go see that.

Posted by: moviegique at July 22, 2016 07:03 PM (7zeA4)

18 I was thinking of renting this from redbox.

Posted by: @votermom at July 22, 2016 07:03 PM (7lVbc)

19 >>>I just couldn't bring myself to see this. "Man of Steel" was so bad, in the sense of just-not-capturing Superman.

I hated that movie. This one is better.

Not great, but definitely better. I don't think you'll hate this one. You'll just say, "alas."

Posted by: ace at July 22, 2016 07:03 PM (dciA+)

20 Ace, a serious question. Being on the no-carb thing,
what do you do when you're in a theater overwhelmed with the smell of
buttered popcorn goodness??

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 22, 2016 06:59 PM (1ZOkK)

That's a very serious problem, I can't control myself. Remember when they ran that short little bit on the screen about "lets all visit the lobby" it worked every time.

Posted by: Colin at July 22, 2016 07:04 PM (HQP2c)

21 comments = comics

Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at July 22, 2016 07:04 PM (mpXpK)

22 I thought the extended version fleshed out the part a great deal more, and it furthered the point of how Luthor was manipulating both heroes.

I thought that this movie was actually the first Batman movie with decent fight scenes in it; the Christian Bale ones were hurt by the clunky suit that Bale and the stuntmen very obviously could barely move in. Batman's supposed to be a vicious badass, right? This movie made him exactly that

Posted by: UGAdawg at July 22, 2016 07:04 PM (0UuwP)

23 Ace, a serious question. Being on the no-carb thing,
what do you do when you're in a theater overwhelmed with the smell of
buttered popcorn goodness??

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 22, 2016 06:59 PM (1ZOkK)

My solution is always the same: get the big tub with free refills.

Posted by: Country Boy at July 22, 2016 07:05 PM (oO+cT)

24 I guess that'll be a different kind of heartbreak.

Though, except for DKR, I don't recall the hero-vs-hero comix actually working out all that great. I remember Shazam beating Superman, which was okay, I guess.

Posted by: moviegique at July 22, 2016 07:05 PM (7zeA4)

25 She isn't given much to do. But the little she's given, she does pretty well. She's meant to come across as pretty, mysterious, and maybe dangerous. She does.

I agree. I thought she did fine.

And, she's doing a Wonder Woman movie now.

Wonder Woman ( post-production )
Diana Prince / Wonder Woman

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0451279/?ref_=nm_flmg_act_3

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at July 22, 2016 07:05 PM (qCMvj)

26 17
I just couldn't bring myself to see this. "Man of Steel" was so bad, in the sense of just-not-capturing Superman.

One of my preferred theaters is showing the Salkind/Donner version in a week or two. Ima go see that.

Posted by: moviegique at July 22, 2016 07:03 PM (7zeA4)

I received my copy of that today in the mail. Amazon had marked it down to their equivalent of the Walmart cheap stack. I will watch it tomorrow.

Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at July 22, 2016 07:05 PM (mpXpK)

27 Batman is done, get ready for batgurl, lesbian transgender batgurl of course.

Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at July 22, 2016 07:06 PM (98J/K)

28 Did not like. Hated Eisenberg. Terrible choice for luthor and it was obvious. it's like he told the producers he was going to play The Joker and the producers said no, and he said "Well, I'll do it anyone."

Action was too looney tunes. hard to justify Batman's trap in that it required Superman to punch him up to the top of a building and then down thru multiple rooms and then into a huge hall.

Also, they turned Superman into a dick. His character doesn't work in the setting.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at July 22, 2016 07:06 PM (VY8H5)

29 I sneak a low-carb snack into the movie theater.

Posted by: @votermom at July 22, 2016 07:06 PM (7lVbc)

30 I have not seen the movie, but from what little I haveseen, itlooked like they were trying to allude to the "Injustice" setting rather than a Darkseid tie in. I have not seen the movie so I may be completely off base here.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 22, 2016 07:06 PM (3ZoRf)

31 That's a very serious problem, I can't control
myself. Remember when they ran that short little bit on the screen about
"lets all visit the lobby" it worked every time.

Posted by: Colin at July 22, 2016 07:04 PM (HQP2c)

My husband (and I to a certain extent) have been on the no-carb diet.

Husband walks in a movie theater, and the smell of popcorn is his crack cocaine. The first thing he does is get the stuff. I've tried talking him down, to no avail. And then, *of course* I have to have a taste or three. *sigh*

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 22, 2016 07:06 PM (1ZOkK)

32 I really loved Henry Cavil as Napoleon Solo

same

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at July 22, 2016 07:07 PM (qCMvj)

33

And no, even though it was not accurate, the Amazons who spawned Wonder Woman were not portrayed as "Greeks" in the original comments. In fact, a lot of them were blond and ALL of them were hawt.

... liike this blonde Greek:
http://www.iloveboobies.com/pics/voula-papachristou/voula-papachristou-13.jpg

Posted by: Arbalest at July 22, 2016 07:07 PM (FlRtG)

34 >>>Also, they turned Superman into a dick

what did he do that was dickish? He seemed pretty kind and goodhearted to me.

Posted by: ace at July 22, 2016 07:07 PM (dciA+)

35 It was dark (I mean lighting wise) and it was dull. And it was dark (emo-style dark).

The DC movies are overwrought emo shit. The Marvel movies are successful because they understand tone.

Posted by: Mr. Peebles at July 22, 2016 07:07 PM (mL2BD)

36 Amy Adams is not at all my idea of Lois Lane. Just... no. I'm going to have to insist on the fast-talking spitfire Lois Lane, not this quiet, vulnerable mousey version.

I agree here too.

I like Amy Adams a lot, but was disappointed to see her in the role.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at July 22, 2016 07:08 PM (qCMvj)

37 So ... in the comic arc - I really liked Green Arrow.

Just sayin'.

Posted by: ScoggDog at July 22, 2016 07:08 PM (fiGNd)

38 Having a hard time picturing Amy Adams as Lois Lane.

Who would Ace and the Horde have cast?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 22, 2016 07:08 PM (1ZOkK)

39 Popcorn's not the worst. The glycemic load is sort-of middle-of-the-road. If you do a hearty whole grain before you go (a better carb than popcorn), you won't eat so much.

Posted by: moviegique at July 22, 2016 07:09 PM (7zeA4)

40 >>>itlooked like they were trying to allude to the "Injustice" setting rather than a Darkseid tie in.

it's both. It's Injustice, and it's clearly Darkseid. In the Apocalypse vision, there are clearly Parademons capturing humans, and the guy who contacts Wayne psychically seems to be doing so through a BoomTube (the transport teleport tubes to Apocalypse). I would guess the guy trying to get his attention is the Apokalypse good guy Mister Miracle.

Posted by: ace at July 22, 2016 07:09 PM (dciA+)

41 33 ... liike this blonde Greek:

http://www.iloveboobies.com/pics/voula-papachristou/voula-papachristou-13.jpg

Posted by: Arbalest at July 22, 2016 07:07 PM (FlRtG)

Bleeched blond?

Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at July 22, 2016 07:09 PM (mpXpK)

42 Lots of words up there. Movie review?

Posted by: Weasel at July 22, 2016 07:09 PM (Sfs6o)

43 Loved the movie. The extended version is better, because the jumbled plot is a little less jumbled and things make a little more sense. Still hate mousey Lois, sorry that's not Lois. Batfleck did a great job, and potrays Batman more like he should be. The Superman conflict is better explained in the extended version, Luthor is shown to be manipulating everything behind the scenes.

Posted by: Brenden at July 22, 2016 07:09 PM (cFGY7)

44 You know the insulin index of popcorn is not too bad, compare to its glycemic score. This is due to the complexities of human biochemistry.

Believe it or not, the insulin index of popcorn is only slighter high than beef.

Beef you say, how can that have an insulin repsonse? It's your body converting a portion of the protein into glucose, then on to fat.

It's crap like this that makes the insulin index a much better metric than glycemic index/load.

Posted by: publius (not Breitbart publius) at July 22, 2016 07:09 PM (DW+jj)

45 Spiderman sucks.

Sorry, just had to shoehorn that in there.

Posted by: eleven at July 22, 2016 07:10 PM (qUNWi)

46 What's obviously going to happen is that "Darkseid" from the planet Apokalypse is going to come to earth and enslave Superman and make him Champion of Apokalypse and have Superman pummel the earth into submission, and Batman and Wonder Woman will have to recruit the rest of the Justice League to fight Superman.

----

There's actually quite a bit of speculation that the villain will not be Darkseid. It will be his uncle Steppenwolf who is one of Darkseid's lieutenants.

Posted by: Buzzion at July 22, 2016 07:10 PM (z/Ubi)

47 The DC movies are overwrought emo shit. The Marvel movies are successful because they understand tone.
Posted by: Mr. Peebles at July 22, 2016 07:07 PM (mL2BD)

They also understand character far better than any of the DC movies I have seen. With the exception of Tony Stark. Stark was never a stuck up douche bag in the comics. By the same token, he did not have as much of a defined character as say, Steve Rogers. So I give them a little slack because at least Downey injected some energy into the Stark character and gave him an arc over the first movie.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 22, 2016 07:11 PM (3ZoRf)

48

Bleeched blond?

All accessories match, so I think "no".

Posted by: Arbalest at July 22, 2016 07:11 PM (FlRtG)

49 I have been such a non-fan of Affleck's. Good to know he did well (except for the fake southern accent thing...the hell?). Makes me think of Foghorn Leghorn.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 22, 2016 07:11 PM (1ZOkK)

50 Ace watches these things and reports on them so I don't have to.

Posted by: Jack at July 22, 2016 07:12 PM (YX9fV)

51 It will be his uncle Steppenwolf who is one of Darkseid's lieutenants.

Well ... I was born to be wild.

Posted by: ScoggDog at July 22, 2016 07:12 PM (fiGNd)

52 Am I the only one here whose affection for superhero movies starts and ends with the original 'Kick-Ass'?

I really, really loathe the current round of Hollywood cape-opera productions. Every time I see one I come away with a heart and soul of pure DILLIGAF.

Posted by: JEM at July 22, 2016 07:12 PM (o+SC1)

53 Ultraman kicks all their asses.

Posted by: Weasel at July 22, 2016 07:12 PM (Sfs6o)

54 I used to like comics when I was a kid. I liked Henry. He was bald and dumb and a loser. He was a great teaching example for idealistic youth.

Also liked Andy Capp which was before England became a Muzzie colony.

Fat Albert was good too before all the raping.

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at July 22, 2016 07:12 PM (ej1L0)

55 The best Superhero to all of us in Brattleboro is Presdent Obama for repealing all the Bush disasterous policies.........

Posted by: Mary Clogginstien from Brattleboro, Vt at July 22, 2016 07:12 PM (NuElX)

56 Well, I'm off to make Ceasar salad dressing. Having filet and salad tonight.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 22, 2016 07:12 PM (1ZOkK)

57 First things first: Ben Affleck made a good Bruce Wayne and Batman.

You lie!

OK, no, I haven't seen the movie. But you gotta admit that the thing seems implausible.

Posted by: Splunge at July 22, 2016 07:13 PM (iMxBJ)

58 I expected more pant-suits, for some reason.

Posted by: Hillary! at July 22, 2016 07:13 PM (xEG7+)

59 I'll never understand why, with all the real world issues right now, domestic and foreign, they didn't go with the plot points in the actual graphic novel.

Lot of good relevant stuff to mine there and they come up with "Supes killed some Wayne employees and damaged his real estate" as the preliminary basis for Batman taking him on.

Posted by: Azathoth at July 22, 2016 07:13 PM (XN0hD)

60 I was always more of a Conan fan. Read all the books. I was never into the Marvel/DC superhero thing.

My best friend was a decent artist so we would illustrate the short stories (but only while we were in class, gave us something to do besides school work or going to see the vice principal).

Posted by: Skunky Choom at July 22, 2016 07:14 PM (CbGSW)

61 >>>Overall, I liked it. Not a disaster.

It's a disaster, it's a train wreck. Batman's life work was going to be murdering Superman. That's his stated goal. It's repulsive.

He's just about to CARVE HIM UP WITH A KRYPTONITE SPEAR.

And that when the movie really goes to hell. I mean MARTHA?

The Justice League's big reveal are as e-mail attachments? Apparently Lex Luthor creates their super hero logos?
Lois Lane repeatedly and bizarrely is thrust into every action scene?

Batman as some kind of gun toting homocidal Mad Max revealed to his past self by a time traveling Flash that can travel into YOUR DREAMS.

What movie did you see?

Posted by: Max Power at July 22, 2016 07:14 PM (q177U)

62 Fat Albert was good too before all the raping

Hey ... they never said no.

Posted by: Bill Cosby at July 22, 2016 07:14 PM (fiGNd)

63 It's just the plot is kind of stupid, and there's a bunch of set-up for the next one,

this is what my husband kept trying to tell me - because I thought it was pretty bad. I don't care what the reasons are.

I was one of the ones that gave it a 1 at IMDB.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2975590/ratings?ref_=tt_ov_rt

I was p*ssed.

Posted by: artisanal 'ette at July 22, 2016 07:14 PM (qCMvj)

64 19 >>>I just couldn't bring myself to see this. "Man of Steel" was so bad, in the sense of just-not-capturing Superman.

I hated that movie. This one is better.

Not great, but definitely better. I don't think you'll hate this one. You'll just say, "alas."
Posted by: ace at July 22, 2016 07:03 PM (dciA+)

*****

Why on Earth did you have "Man of Steel"?

I loved that movie.

No joke.

Posted by: Taco Shack at July 22, 2016 07:14 PM (C+qQ0)

65 I liked the part where the four heroines shot the bad ghost in the nuts.

Posted by: Hillary! at July 22, 2016 07:14 PM (K3F/8)

66 One thing is that the titular fight scene was *so* much better than the ultimate fight scene that it seemed the rest of the movie was almost a let-down after that.

They did a surprisingly good job of the reconciliation between the two, and, yes, their mothers both have the same name in the comics as well.

*That* was the end of the emotionally-powerful, the ultimate fight scene was supposed to be, but we'd already *had* our climax (so to speak), and the rest was less interesting and utterly predictable.

Then again, endings are hard, just ask the Jaguar XJ's body designer.

Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at July 22, 2016 07:14 PM (wB8Tg)

67 >>>38 Having a hard time picturing Amy Adams as Lois Lane.

Who would Ace and the Horde have cast?
Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 22, 2016 07:08 PM (1ZOkK)

Did you have to ask?? I am trying so hard to be good!

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at July 22, 2016 07:15 PM (ZwYB4)

68 49 I have been such a non-fan of Affleck's. Good to know he did well (except for the fake southern accent thing...the hell?). Makes me think of Foghorn Leghorn.
Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 22, 2016 07:11 PM (1ZOkK)

This is something they injected into the Nolan Batman saga as well- the caves under Wayne manor were "used by the Underground railroad to smuggle slaves to the north." I never got that Gotham was in the south, but maybe there is some support for it in the comics, which was not one I read as a kid.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 22, 2016 07:16 PM (3ZoRf)

69 Posted by: Taco Shack at July 22, 2016 07:14 PM (C+qQ0)

*****

Why on Earth did you HATE (not have) "Man of Steel"?

Posted by: Taco Shack at July 22, 2016 07:16 PM (C+qQ0)

70 I liked Affleck from the trailers. He looks like Wayne, and a lot of his stock affectations seem like they'd work.

But, JEM, while I don't hate the superhero thing, I am increasingly tired of it, so that even when I see a good one, I'm kind of underwhelmed, and I don't need a big excuse to not see one, even if it's supposed to be good.

Posted by: moviegique at July 22, 2016 07:16 PM (7zeA4)

71 >>>Batman as some kind of gun toting homocidal Mad Max revealed to his past self by a time traveling Flash that can travel into YOUR DREAMS.

oh was that the Flash?

As far as the gun-toting: Yes, but I was relieved that was a *possible future*, after the apocalypse. An apocalypse can change a man's thinking, you know?

I was glad that he wasn't killing people with guns in real life, which is what I had heard he did.

(Though he does seem to kill them with guns as long as shooting those guns from a vehicle -- then, apparently, his code against killing is switched off.)

I grant you most of your criticisms - as I said, I went in with low expectations.

Posted by: ace at July 22, 2016 07:17 PM (dciA+)

72 Why wouldn't they cast Michelle Obama as Lois Lane?

See how that would have worked?

Posted by: Bossy Conservative...pondering the future at July 22, 2016 07:17 PM (Cz05v)

73 I liked the part where the four heroines shot the bad ghost in the nuts.

Posted by: Hillary!
****

That...wasn't...a ghost...you ****! Owwwww.

Posted by: Tilikum KAW at July 22, 2016 07:17 PM (+aCe4)

74 Why on Earth did you HATE (not have) "Man of Steel"?
Posted by: Taco Shack

In Soviet Russia, Man of Steel hate you.

Posted by: Yakov Smirnoff at July 22, 2016 07:18 PM (UPYhp)

75 I will admit that Ultraman did have one serious weakness - and that was the enormous light on his chest that started blinking when his battery or whatever started getting low. I mean, really? Cover the damn thing up. If you were fighting him, all you had to do was rope-a-dope until his shit started blinking.

Posted by: Weasel at July 22, 2016 07:18 PM (Sfs6o)

76 Who would Ace and the Horde have cast?
Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 22, 2016 07:08 PM (1ZOkK)

I am not sure. Anne Hathaway did a great job as Catwoman, I thought, but would not be right for this role.

I am not sure, I agree with Ace- it needs to be a smart-seeming, rapid fire brunette.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 22, 2016 07:18 PM (3ZoRf)

77 >>>This is something they injected into the Nolan Batman saga as well- the caves under Wayne manor were "used by the Underground railroad to smuggle slaves to the north."

i assumed they meant the caves were the northern terminus of the railroad -- didn't they smuggle slaves to Canada?

Remember, bounty hunters in the north could capture runaway slaves and return the "property" to their owners.

Posted by: ace at July 22, 2016 07:18 PM (dciA+)

78

Batman Rules; Superman Drools.

Posted by: EAT ME at July 22, 2016 07:18 PM (qul7b)

79 Fat Albert was good too before all the raping
Hey ... they never said no.
Posted by: Bill Cosby at July 22, 2016 07:14 PM (fiGNd)

Yup...Shoogafoots Jones was better.

Posted by: Hairyback Guy at July 22, 2016 07:18 PM (ej1L0)

80 36 Amy Adams is not at all my idea of Lois Lane. Just... no. I'm going to have to insist on the fast-talking spitfire Lois Lane, not this quiet, vulnerable mousey version.

**

I don't know why Hollywood can't cast superhero girlfriend characters worth a damn. The only suspension of disbelief I required in The Dark Knight was that Maggie Gyllenhaal was someone's idea of a billionaire's hot girlfriend.

Posted by: Azathoth at July 22, 2016 07:18 PM (XN0hD)

81 I liked it, but the plot portrayed Batman and Superman as simpletons at times, however, Batman acting a bit irrationally due to the death and destruction caused by Superman's fight with Zod and friends...understandable. I liked Eisenberg as Luthor, total nut job. Like Cavill as Superman, but your right Amy Adams as Lois doesn't do it for me.

Posted by: Dr Spank at July 22, 2016 07:19 PM (4e+hS)

82 Batman was supposed to absolutely hate guns.

But there was a stretch in the 1980's comics were he would leave perps really, really beat up for the cops. So there is a streak of sadism in the whole Batman ouvre.

Posted by: Bossy Conservative...pondering the future at July 22, 2016 07:19 PM (Cz05v)

83 Is it better than Antman?

Posted by: Cactus of Liberty at July 22, 2016 07:19 PM (gyi7u)

84 Man of steel is a good Superman movie. It is a crappy movie. Zack Snyder sucks the soul out of the films he directs.

Posted by: Buzzion at July 22, 2016 07:20 PM (iQibn)

85 Too dark. Movie reviews should be uplifting

Posted by: CNN at July 22, 2016 07:20 PM (xEG7+)

86 I like how Jimmy Olson is a CIA operative and he is is shot in the face execution style.

Zack Snyder said he was just having "fun" with the character.

Thanks Zack, real classy.

Posted by: Max Power at July 22, 2016 07:20 PM (q177U)

87 84 Man of steel is a good Superman movie. It is a crappy movie. Zack Snyder sucks the soul out of the films he directs.
Posted by: Buzzion at July 22, 2016 07:20 PM (iQibn)

I do not think it is even a good Superman movie. Missing the point that greatly on the character is kind of an accomplishment.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 22, 2016 07:21 PM (3ZoRf)

88 Thank goodness I won't have to see this movie now. Didn't plan on it anyway, but my intentions have been confirmed and I am satisfied I made the right decision. Maybe Star Trek?

Posted by: Eromero at July 22, 2016 07:21 PM (zLDYs)

89 Too dark. Movie reviews should be uplifting
Posted by: CNN

I find Gal Gadot very uplifting.

Posted by: Prince Ludwig the #Problematic at July 22, 2016 07:22 PM (UPYhp)

90 Um, Superman's dead (human) dad Kevin Costner shows up as a ghost.

This was ten minutes after the non-psionic batman seemed to get a psionic message from the future.

I was like: "Are all of these heroes just generally conversing with ghosts from the past and future now?"

Posted by: ace at July 22, 2016 07:22 PM (dciA+)

91 86 I like how Jimmy Olson is a CIA operative and he is is shot in the face execution style.

Zack Snyder said he was just having "fun" with the character.

Thanks Zack, real classy.
Posted by: Max Power at July 22, 2016 07:20 PM (q177U)

I like how directors and filmmakers now feel the need to directly piss on the fans of a character or franchise.

Making money, how does it work?

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 22, 2016 07:22 PM (3ZoRf)

92 >>>I like how Jimmy Olson is a CIA operative and he is is shot in the face execution style.

that was Jimmy Olsen?!

Posted by: ace at July 22, 2016 07:22 PM (dciA+)

93 I dunno about Ace but I hated Man Of Steel because it was so dark. It was visually dark. It was aesthetically dark.

SUPERMAN KILLS A GUY. (Spoilers, I guess.)

The thing about Superman is that he's not a brooding, dark guy. Fercryinoutloud, he's practically immortal. What's he got to brood about? (Actually, they overdo Batman's brooding, too.)

Great scene in the Salkind/Donner Superman: Superman captures Lex Luthor and he says, all scared, "What're you going to do to me," and Supes says, "I'm going to turn you into the police, and you will be tried by a jury of your peers."

Got laughs when I saw it in the cynical '70s, but it is so dead on and perfect: The American Way.

Posted by: moviegique at July 22, 2016 07:23 PM (7zeA4)

94 Too dark. Movie reviews should be uplifting

Posted by: CNN
****

(kicks CNN in the nuts)

Posted by: Tilikum KAW at July 22, 2016 07:23 PM (+aCe4)

95 I didn't care for it personally but do agree that Affleck was surprisingly decent. He was by far the least worst thing about it.

Posted by: Nigel West Dickens at July 22, 2016 07:23 PM (LYCUN)

96 Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 22, 2016 07:11 PM (1ZOkK)
He has moobs now.

Posted by: CaliGirl at July 22, 2016 07:23 PM (eU/yZ)

97 Um, Superman's dead (human) dad Kevin Costner shows up as a ghost.

**

Please tell me you're kidding...

Posted by: Azathoth at July 22, 2016 07:23 PM (XN0hD)

98 What the heck is the huge monster they are fighting in the previews???

Posted by: RWC - Team BOHICA at July 22, 2016 07:23 PM (hlMPp)

99 Eisenberg's Luthor was a great Luthor, in it's own way. The reason, I think, why he played Luthor as a manic wasn't because Luthor is a manic, but because it keeps people distracted while he lays down foundations for plans.

Posted by: John Paterson at July 22, 2016 07:24 PM (Y7Z8f)

100 I think Kate Upton would have made a great Wonder Woman or Lois Lane, or an extra.

Posted by: Dr Spank at July 22, 2016 07:24 PM (4e+hS)

101 I have not seen it yet, but from the trailors I got a feeling they went Biblical with the tiny gods being fallen angels. A Judeo Christian people headed by Barman have to struggle to accept these fallen angels that could destroy mankind and the world.

Posted by: Cactus of Liberty at July 22, 2016 07:24 PM (gyi7u)

102 (kicks CNN in the nuts)

Posted by: Tilikum KAW

Hey pal, CNN does not have any nuts. Just fruits.

Posted by: Anderson Cooper, CNN Fruit at July 22, 2016 07:24 PM (Cz05v)

103 87 84 Man of steel is a good Superman movie. It is a crappy movie. Zack Snyder sucks the soul out of the films he directs.
Posted by: Buzzion at July 22, 2016 07:20 PM (iQibn)

I do not think it is even a good Superman movie. Missing the point that greatly on the character is kind of an accomplishment.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 22, 2016 07:21 PM (3ZoRf)

It's a better superman movie than the Christopher Reeve movies. However those are better movies. But turning back time by flying around the earth? Making the shield on his chest able to turn into giant frisbee fly paper? Mind wipes by a kiss? Bad superman movie.

Posted by: Buzzion at July 22, 2016 07:25 PM (iQibn)

104 OT: speaking of CNN

CNN headline switch: WAS "Munich police:Shooting suspects have Islamist background" NOW "Munich police search for shooting suspect"

Posted by: Grad School Fool at July 22, 2016 07:26 PM (swEzU)

105 Yeah, it was definitely Batman's movie and told from his perspective. Interesting how they portrayed Superman hovering over the city -- vaguely menacing. He is a demigod who has chosen to be our protector, but what if he changes his mind?

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at July 22, 2016 07:27 PM (jR7Wy)

106 Killing Joke comes out next week. Some theaters are actually screening it.

Starring the best Batman- Kevin Conroy

And the best joker - Mark Hamill.

Posted by: Buzzion at July 22, 2016 07:27 PM (iQibn)

107 see the update

um maybe this movie sucks

Posted by: ace at July 22, 2016 07:27 PM (dciA+)

108 The thing about Superman is that he's not a brooding, dark guy. Fercryinoutloud, he's practically immortal. What's he got to brood about? (Actually, they overdo Batman's brooding, too.)

Great scene in the Salkind/Donner Superman: Superman captures Lex Luthor and he says, all scared, "What're you going to do to me," and Supes says, "I'm going to turn you into the police, and you will be tried by a jury of your peers."

Got laughs when I saw it in the cynical '70s, but it is so dead on and perfect: The American Way.
Posted by: moviegique at July 22, 2016 07:23 PM (7zeA4)

And THAT is Superman. He is the archetype for the noble hero in the DC universe. The white knight.

That is why the juxtaposition with Batman is so compelling. They are both driven to fight evil and stand for justice, but they come at it from different POVs.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 22, 2016 07:27 PM (3ZoRf)

109 I think the movie was, at least, a stand-up double.

Posted by: Dr Spank at July 22, 2016 07:28 PM (4e+hS)

110 Posted by: Tilikum KAW

Hey pal, CNN does not have any nuts. Just fruits.

Posted by: Anderson Cooper, CNN Fruit
****

Fine. (C**t punches Anderson Cooper)

Posted by: Tilikum KAW at July 22, 2016 07:28 PM (+aCe4)

111 I don't know why Hollywood can't cast superhero girlfriend characters worth a damn. The only suspension of disbelief I required in The Dark Knight was that Maggie Gyllenhaal was someone's idea of a billionaire's hot girlfriend.

Hah ...yeah she's just plain plain.

Posted by: eleven at July 22, 2016 07:28 PM (qUNWi)

112 Affleck was good as Wayne. But as Batman, it was laughable. He looked like a little angry brat that you wanted to smack upside the head for being stupid. The look of Batman was just sad overall.

And the story... well, there was none that I could see. It should have been called "Angry capes" where you set their trajectories toward each other and see if their egos will propel them back toward each other.

Posted by: MrX at July 22, 2016 07:28 PM (if9v9)

113 Next time I'm going to waste even more time doing Superman is Jesus imagery instead of focusing on plot and story line!

Posted by: Zack Snyder at July 22, 2016 07:28 PM (iQibn)

114 Eisenberg plays every villain like Zuckerberg, which is fine by me, because I detest that little hoodie-wearing homunculus and love to see him pounded to paste.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at July 22, 2016 07:29 PM (jR7Wy)

115 I feel like there are a lot of slow, hanging softballs in this thread for me....

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at July 22, 2016 07:29 PM (ZwYB4)

116
It's a better superman movie than the Christopher Reeve movies. However those are better movies. But turning back time by flying around the earth? Making the shield on his chest able to turn into giant frisbee fly paper? Mind wipes by a kiss? Bad superman movie.
Posted by: Buzzion at July 22, 2016 07:25 PM (iQibn)

Lol. Granted. I am more talking about the first two (for most parts.) I treat the subsequent ones like I do the third Sam Raimi Spiderman and the Matrix sequels- they never happened.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 22, 2016 07:29 PM (3ZoRf)

117 >>>Um, Superman's dead (human) dad Kevin Costner shows up as a ghost.

Yeah ace. Remember when he told the story about helping to save his family's farm from a flood, only to realize his heroic actions had caused all the horses in the neighboring farm to drown? That he ate his "hero cake" while he listed to the screams of the dying horses? Are you starting to sense a problem here?

Posted by: Max Power at July 22, 2016 07:29 PM (q177U)

118 The thing that saves some of the stupid stuff in Man of Steel is the beginning with Russell Crowe as Jor-El, and the vision of Krypton as a dying world.

And General Zod is such a sadistic prick, but he does have a motivation for re-creating Krypton on Earth.

There's a logical thread through the movie, but it is, at times, very poorly told.

Henry Cavil may be a good actor, but he was hard to really LIKE as Superman.

Posted by: Bossy Conservative...pondering the future at July 22, 2016 07:29 PM (Cz05v)

119 UK Daily Mail:
Gunman shouting 'Allahu Akbar' executed children in Munich McDonald's

*

Jesus Christ.....

Posted by: Azathoth at July 22, 2016 07:29 PM (XN0hD)

120
Eh, I'm more concerned that Elon Musk is being raped by Amber Heard.

Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at July 22, 2016 07:30 PM (iQIUe)

121 Definitely looking forward to "The Killing Joke" on Monday. Three outlets are screening it near me, one in walking distance (well, 3+ miles away, so... exercise).

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at July 22, 2016 07:30 PM (6FqZa)

122 Jeez. I thought Lex was suppose to be a criminal genius.

Posted by: Cactus of Liberty at July 22, 2016 07:30 PM (gyi7u)

123 that was Jimmy Olsen?!
Posted by: ace at July 22, 2016 07:22 PM (dciA+)

Yeah, it was an "easter egg." Zack didn't have a place for Jimmy Olson in his dark Snyderverse. So he executed him. He said he was just "having fun with the character."

Posted by: Max Power at July 22, 2016 07:31 PM (q177U)

124 I hate any plot that comes close to having two supposed defenders of good and fighters against evil battle each other . I have no desire to see it. One will always have to become the bad one. Funny sad that the Trump / Cruz fits that scenario.

Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at July 22, 2016 07:31 PM (MNgU2)

125 116
It's a better superman movie than the Christopher Reeve movies. However those are better movies. But turning back time by flying around the earth? Making the shield on his chest able to turn into giant frisbee fly paper? Mind wipes by a kiss? Bad superman movie.
Posted by: Buzzion at July 22, 2016 07:25 PM (iQibn)

Lol. Granted. I am more talking about the first two (for most parts.) I treat the subsequent ones like I do the third Sam Raimi Spiderman and the Matrix sequels- they never happened.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 22, 2016 07:29 PM (3ZoRf)

Everything I mentioned happened in the first two movies.

Posted by: Buzzion at July 22, 2016 07:31 PM (kFW0h)

126 111 I don't know why Hollywood can't cast superhero girlfriend characters worth a damn. The only suspension of disbelief I required in The Dark Knight was that Maggie Gyllenhaal was someone's idea of a billionaire's hot girlfriend.

Hah ...yeah she's just plain plain.
Posted by: eleven at July 22, 2016 07:28 PM (qUNWi)
----
She fits the "plucky girl reporter" role (or in this case, public defender). They're usually not "hot".

Maggie has an old woman's face, or a face from the 30's maybe. Unusual.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at July 22, 2016 07:32 PM (jR7Wy)

127 My vote for best Lois goes to Erica Durance from Smallville.

*sigh*

Posted by: Gran at July 22, 2016 07:32 PM (lcUJ5)

128 Uh, when I posted my comment the one above it had not been posted.

Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at July 22, 2016 07:32 PM (iQIUe)

129 OT: Local news is shitting their pants over Trump. Love it.

Posted by: t-bird at July 22, 2016 07:32 PM (xEG7+)

130 Ace's update regarding the frame-up of Superman is spot on, what bothered me is that Batman fell for it. I know he's upset at Superman but come on Batman, do some investigating before you go on a murder spree.

Posted by: Dr Spank at July 22, 2016 07:32 PM (4e+hS)

131 Speaking of comic book characters, Glennbeck Man says the conventioneers responding to Trump's promises by saying, "Yes, you will," is a sign of the "bottom" rising up to embrace a new Fuehrer.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Racist for Dinosaurs at July 22, 2016 07:33 PM (Nwg0u)

132 107
see the update

um maybe this movie sucks

Posted by: ace at July 22, 2016 07:27 PM (dciA+)

Seriously???? Evil bullets. WTF?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 22, 2016 07:33 PM (1ZOkK)

133 Lol. Granted. I am more talking about the first two (for most parts.) I treat the subsequent ones like I do the third Sam Raimi Spiderman and the Matrix sequels- they never happened.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 22, 2016 07:29 PM (3ZoRf)

Everything I mentioned happened in the first two movies.
Posted by: Buzzion at July 22, 2016 07:31 PM (kFW0h)

Geez, it has been a long time since I saw these movies. The kiss I remember from the second. Where was the sticky shield?

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 22, 2016 07:33 PM (3ZoRf)

134 Superman does NOT turn back time in the Salkind/Donner films by flying around the earth. He TRAVELS back through time by going faster than light.

I missed that, too.

And, yeah, the Salkind stuff is goofy. They wanted to make it like the '60s Batman cartoons and Donner wanted to play it straight--this is particularly bad in Superman II, where the Salkinds had fired Donner who had shot most of the S2 footage already.

I think there's a "Donner cut" out there of both, though.

Posted by: moviegique at July 22, 2016 07:33 PM (7zeA4)

135 I'm looking forward to Narcos. They released a second trailer. Since Los Pepes will be hunting Carlos and matching him murder for murder, bomb for bomb, it shd be good.

Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at July 22, 2016 07:34 PM (iQIUe)

136 Gunman shouting 'Allahu Akbar' executed children in Munich McDonald's

He also is reported as saying "I'm a German" and "you @#$%ing Turks".

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at July 22, 2016 07:34 PM (6FqZa)

137 Jennifer Garner as Lois Lane? *munches popcorn*

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 22, 2016 07:34 PM (1ZOkK)

138 UK Daily Mail:
Gunman shouting 'Allahu Akbar' executed children in Munich McDonald's

*

Jesus Christ.....

The euro eloi will forgive and forget. It's the new normal.

Posted by: eleven at July 22, 2016 07:34 PM (qUNWi)

139 Yeah, it was an "easter egg." Zack didn't have a place for Jimmy Olson in his dark Snyderverse. So he executed him. He said he was just "having fun with the character."
**

"Sorry, Jimmy. Can't fit you into the movie as a eager newbie reporter what with this entire Daily Planet building."

Posted by: Azathoth at July 22, 2016 07:34 PM (XN0hD)

140 I feel like there are a lot of slow, hanging softballs in this thread for me....

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy
****

Phrasing...

Posted by: Tilikum KAW at July 22, 2016 07:34 PM (+aCe4)

141 Sticky shield was in the fortress of solitude during the final battle.

Posted by: Buzzion at July 22, 2016 07:34 PM (Ws80F)

142 The "you fucking Turks" came from somewhere off camera, not said by the shooter, as far as I can tell, at least.

Posted by: Lincolntf at July 22, 2016 07:35 PM (2cS/G)

143 Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 22, 2016 07:34 PM (1ZOkK)
Any updates on your kitty?

Posted by: CaliGirl at July 22, 2016 07:35 PM (eU/yZ)

144 To be clear, this was my most anticipated film like ever. I am a huge comic book movie fan.

So I probably judge it much too harshly.

Ben Affleck was great, just awful material to work with.

Posted by: Max Power at July 22, 2016 07:35 PM (q177U)

145 Shep Smith weeps.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 22, 2016 07:35 PM (1ZOkK)

146 she doesn't really fit the big-titted raven-haired pin-up model take

I prefer big-tittied. Brings a certain playfulness to the description.

Posted by: Anon Y. Mous at July 22, 2016 07:35 PM (R+30W)

147 One thing about Munich is that we do have a President treating it with the decorum and dignity worthy of his orifice I mean, office
http://tinyurl.com/zhg7nu4

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at July 22, 2016 07:36 PM (6FqZa)

148 The movie was OK, but why did they have to kill off Winona?

Posted by: goatexchange at July 22, 2016 07:36 PM (Nd4YY)

149 Eisenberg's Luthor was a great Luthor, in it's own way. The reason, I think, why he played Luthor as a manic wasn't because Luthor is a manic, but because it keeps people distracted while he lays down foundations for plans.
Posted by: John Paterson at July 22, 2016 07:24 PM (Y7Z8f)

His line in one of the trailers "Son of Krypton vs..." and how he delivered it was enough to make me not want to see the movie.

So utterly sick and tired of the hamminess that passes for acting these days. Rein it in a little, Jesse.

When did this shit start? And who started it? My money is on Anthony Hopkins.

Posted by: Gran at July 22, 2016 07:36 PM (lcUJ5)

150 Jeez. This Synder guy made the genius crowd into rubes and suckers.

I wonder how he feels about regular folks in his universe and watching his movies?

Posted by: Cactus of Liberty at July 22, 2016 07:36 PM (gyi7u)

151 And no, even though it was not accurate, the Amazons who spawned Wonder Woman were not portrayed as "Greeks" in the original comments. In fact, a lot of them were blond and ALL of them were hawt.
---
Amazons are Scythians.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at July 22, 2016 07:37 PM (jR7Wy)

152 Sticky shield is in the second movie when he's trying to trick the other Kryptonians in the Fortress of Solitude. It was bizarre, as was the kiss/memory wipe. But they'd written themselves into a corner. The whole Supes/Lois romance is...fraught.

Posted by: moviegique at July 22, 2016 07:37 PM (7zeA4)

153 The movie was OK, but why did they have to kill off Winona?

Cause she was shoplifting. Derr.

Posted by: eleven at July 22, 2016 07:37 PM (qUNWi)

154 Ace's update regarding the frame-up of Superman is spot on, what bothered me is that Batman fell for it. I know he's upset at Superman but come on Batman, do some investigating before you go on a murder spree.

Posted by: Dr Spank
****

The Dark Knight, detective extraordinaire couldn't detect bullets?

Posted by: Tilikum KAW at July 22, 2016 07:38 PM (+aCe4)

155 Shep Smith gave Batman V. Superman "Five anals and a reach-around".

Posted by: Dr Spank at July 22, 2016 07:38 PM (4e+hS)

156
That he ate his "hero cake" while he listed to the screams of the dying horses?

Legs furiously pumping
Their stiff green gallop
And heads bob up
Poise
Delicate
Pause
Consent
In mute nostril agony
Carefully refined
And sealed over

Posted by: Zombie Jim Morrison at July 22, 2016 07:38 PM (IqV8l)

157 Any updates on your kitty?

Posted by: CaliGirl at July 22, 2016 07:35 PM (eU/yZ)

She's doing way better. Now she's on half her meds in the form of pills. Which is a whole new pain in the ass. They make these little treat "pill pockets" that she doesn't like, but the other cat loves. So last night I made her a damned "pill pocket" out of some good chevre and she took her sweet time eating it, until I picked her up and shoved it in her mouth.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 22, 2016 07:38 PM (1ZOkK)

158 Y'all should watch Pride+Prejudice+Zombies instead.
It's got a Great Wall and everyone goes around armed.

Posted by: @votermom at July 22, 2016 07:39 PM (7lVbc)

159 Shep Smith gave Batman V. Superman "Five anals and a reach-around".

And then licked his eyeballs.

Posted by: eleven at July 22, 2016 07:39 PM (qUNWi)

160 I HATED Pride+Prejudice+Zombies.

HATED.

Posted by: Dr Spank at July 22, 2016 07:39 PM (4e+hS)

161 and she took her sweet time eating it, until I picked her up and shoved it in her mouth.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 22, 2016 07:38 PM (1ZOkK)
----

**just the punchline**

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at July 22, 2016 07:39 PM (jR7Wy)

162 158
Y'all should watch Pride+Prejudice+Zombies instead.

It's got a Great Wall and everyone goes around armed.

Posted by: @votermom at July 22, 2016 07:39 PM (7lVbc)

Best zombie movie EVER is Range 15.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 22, 2016 07:40 PM (1ZOkK)

163 Bookmark it. A classic.

Posted by: Golfman at July 22, 2016 07:40 PM (48QDY)

164 Was Batman sad or fat?

Posted by: wth at July 22, 2016 07:40 PM (HgMAr)

165 158 @votermom, P&P&Z is another one I wasn't able to bring myself to watch. I felt like it should've been great and from the sub-par RTs, I think it missed the mark.

Had the same feeling about Abe Lincoln, Vampire Hunter.

Posted by: moviegique at July 22, 2016 07:40 PM (7zeA4)

166 Didn't see it; wasn't interested, but your take, Ace, was similar to that I've heard elsewhere (particularly Kevin Smith and Ralph Garman on Hollywood Babble-On, which was brutally honest and probably rectally painful for Smith, who was soooo hard for this movie).

I like capes, but I'm mostly done with grim and dark. Give me "Guardians" and "Avengers" (although frankly why bother with the sequels? The first movie had it all.)

Recently we saw "Hancock," which was great until it turned to shit in the third act, and "Mystery Men," which was good when Bob Burden's weird take was in it and meh when it wasn't.

Posted by: Uma Thurmond's Feet at July 22, 2016 07:41 PM (Cd5nj)

167 Best zombie movie EVER is Range 15.

Yo, nut up or shut up.

Posted by: ZOMBIELAND at July 22, 2016 07:41 PM (6FqZa)

168 Superman has demonstrated no knowledge or concern for the founding
principles of this country. To him, American Exceptionalism is based
entirely on how much the nation worships and obeys him - its the same as Joker's understanding of the concept.

Posted by: porpoison at July 22, 2016 07:41 PM (iU9Qe)

169 Re: Obama joking while discussing the Munich terrorist attack - Well, he IS who we KNOW he IS.......

RIP Dennis Green

Posted by: goatexchange at July 22, 2016 07:42 PM (Nd4YY)

170 They shoot horses don't they?

Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at July 22, 2016 07:42 PM (6Ll1u)

171 Ace, sounds like Lex is a genius like Obama. You know trying to kill two birds with one stone

Posted by: Cactus of Liberty at July 22, 2016 07:42 PM (gyi7u)

172 Ben Affleck has commented on ace's review : http://tinyurl.com/j92zxmd

Posted by: Dr Spank at July 22, 2016 07:42 PM (4e+hS)

173 A couple of caveats for my comments:
1. Low expectations count, I actually really like Marvel's Civil War and I HATED that idea going in.
2. People like different things that I do. That doesn't make them wrong.

That said, this was an objectively terrible movie. It made no sense. Things just happened without setup, motivation or transition. It's a movie for habitual blackout drunks, because I imagine that's how they experience real life.

Ben Affleck was good, actually. Point to Ben for putting his head down and doing the best job he could despite the hate. Leslie Jones should take a page from him.

Henry Cavil was great as Napolean Solo, he was terrible as Superman except in the most superficial ways, ie. his physique. He was mopey and passive and didn't want to be a superhero. I hated him, he's not Superman. He's a guy with super powers.

Lex Luthor was not Jessie Eisenberg. Lex Luthor is not the Joker, this was a bad performance, a bad plot and a bad idea. What was his motivation again? His plan? His plot? The 'Honest Trailers' guy did a great job trying to spell out what his master plan was here.

'Save Martha' is utterly stupid, as a concept and in execution.

There's too much going on in this movie, too many possible movie ideas that are utterly wasted. I mean, they kill Superman off after two movies? You got to build up to that, not lead off with it.

Sigh. I really could go on at length but...eh. Ace thought it was ok. I hope he had fun watching it. Everyone else, avoid it if you care about the characters at all.

My $.02

Posted by: Mark Andrew Edwards at July 22, 2016 07:43 PM (s2cys)

174 Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 22, 2016 07:38 PM (1ZOkK)
She'll get used to the pill every day. I'm sure the ear cream was easier on you both. Too bad she had a reaction to it.

Posted by: CaliGirl at July 22, 2016 07:43 PM (eU/yZ)

175 Superman has demonstrated no knowledge or concern for the founding
principles of this country. To him, American Exceptionalism is based
entirely on how much the nation worships and obeys him - its the same as Joker's understanding of the concept.

Posted by: porpoison
****

You misspelled Obama.

Posted by: Tilikum KAW at July 22, 2016 07:43 PM (+aCe4)

176 Count me among the ones who thought Eisenberg would kamikaze the movie and was sufficiently surprised he wasn't as bad as the clips made him look. I share your over all assessment. There was something to like about a beefy Batman.

But where you and I disagree is how much of a self-appointed jerk Superman was laying down the law to Batman. And I think the film dealt competently with the issue of how much power one man can have before it becomes a threat to the balance of power and community process.

As I told a coworker, I thought that the themes were fleshed out remarkably better than I had seen in recent Marvel films, as much as I have enjoyed Marvel films. But, that's been a long standing opinion of mine that DC deals with his Golden Age relics and by-products that nonetheless actually have often served to make for richer characters than the slicker Marvel. (Despite the the original Thor made me understand what had long puzzled me about why Thor doesn't just off Loki.)

Posted by: Axeman at July 22, 2016 07:44 PM (2mC6G)

177 Posted by: moviegique at July 22, 2016 07:40 PM (7zeA4)

What is RTs? Rotten Tomatoes?

It has low reviews but I really liked it. Did a good job of mashing Austen with zombies. I have a short review in my nic.

Posted by: @votermom at July 22, 2016 07:45 PM (7lVbc)

178 You had me at Amy Adams.

Posted by: Chi at July 22, 2016 07:46 PM (IQlgh)

179 Ben Affleck has commented on ace's review : http://tinyurl.com/j92zxmd

Posted by: Dr Spank at July 22, 2016 07:42 PM (4e+hS)
............

so he's sad AND fat

Posted by: wth at July 22, 2016 07:46 PM (HgMAr)

180 If I could have one movie burned out of my brain with freakin' lasers, it would be Pride/Prejudice/Zombies.

Posted by: Dr Spank at July 22, 2016 07:47 PM (4e+hS)

181 In general, the Marvel movies have been much better than the DC movies, with the glaring exceptions of Affleck's Daredevil and the Elektra movie, which sucked ass. Netflix's treatment of Daredevil is exponentially better.

Posted by: Insomniac at July 22, 2016 07:47 PM (0mRoj)

182 180 If I could have one movie burned out of my brain with freakin' lasers, it would be Pride/Prejudice/Zombies.
Posted by: Dr Spank at July 22, 2016 07:47 PM (4e+hS)

What made it so horrible? Have not seen it but thought it looked interesting.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 22, 2016 07:49 PM (3ZoRf)

183 180 If I could have one movie burned out of my brain with freakin' lasers, it would be Pride/Prejudice/Zombies.
Posted by: Dr Spank at July 22, 2016 07:47 PM (4e+hS)

Noooo.....
Why?
Is it because it's not a zombie movie?

Posted by: @votermom at July 22, 2016 07:49 PM (7lVbc)

184 What made it so horrible? Have not seen it but thought it looked interesting.

Posted by: Aetius451AD

I know some people here liked it, but I thought it was a horrible piece of shit in every way.

Posted by: Dr Spank at July 22, 2016 07:50 PM (4e+hS)

185
I'll say one thing about Affleck; he's the first Batman who is physically imposing, and I'd say the Bat fight near the end might be the best live action Batman fight scene ever. Batfleck looks like Batman should; a 6 ft. 4 250 pound slab of granite, and when he hits, it looks painful.

I really think this movie would have improved tremendously if it had focused more on the Supe/Bats relationship, with Batman being the primary antagonist through the movie and Luther more or less in the background. Batman gets to be bad, Supes has to actually defeat him without relying solely on superpowers (a crutch he's never really gotten away from), and without killing him outright.

As for Luther, all he needs to do to fulfill his Prometheus vision for himself he essentially does, except for that last bit at the end that ruins it.

Posted by: FoxHunt at July 22, 2016 07:50 PM (8SF+v)

186 Wow, how so cool and topical.

Posted by: butternut at July 22, 2016 07:50 PM (HlDKH)

187 Eris, you've got mail. Colorado Alex too if he's around.

Posted by: bebe's boobs destroy at July 22, 2016 07:50 PM (hscyr)

188 I know some people here liked it, but I thought it was a horrible piece of shit in every way.
Posted by: Dr Spank at July 22, 2016 07:50 PM (4e+hS)

Ok. Are we talking Van Helsing bad? Or Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters bad?

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 22, 2016 07:51 PM (3ZoRf)

189 I liked the Tale Of Two Cities zombie movie.

Posted by: eleven at July 22, 2016 07:51 PM (qUNWi)

190 @votermom -- Yeah, Rotten Tomatoes. Both scores in the 40%s is not usually a good sign.

It's not everything, of course, not by a long shot and a lot of movies (horror in particular) tend to be particularly low. I love a lot of things other people hate, so I know...

I'm glad you and the kid liked it!

Posted by: moviegique at July 22, 2016 07:51 PM (7zeA4)

191 If I could have one movie burned out of my brain with freakin' lasers, it would be Pride/Prejudice/Zombies.

Posted by: Dr Spank
****

For me t's a tossup between Robot-Jox, The Blair Witch project, and Terminator Salvation.

Posted by: Tilikum KAW at July 22, 2016 07:51 PM (+aCe4)

192 They shoot horses don't they?
Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at July 22, 2016 07:42 PM (6Ll1u)

In my top ten of most depressing movies ever.

Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at July 22, 2016 07:51 PM (MNgU2)

193 Report of shooter killing himself doesn't fit the muzzy narrative to me.

Posted by: Skip at July 22, 2016 07:51 PM (bksJQ)

194 Van Helsing and Hansel and Gretel were much better.

Posted by: Dr Spank at July 22, 2016 07:51 PM (4e+hS)

195 194 Van Helsing and Hansel and Gretel were much better.
Posted by: Dr Spank at July 22, 2016 07:51 PM (4e+hS)

Hmmm, that bad, huh.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 22, 2016 07:53 PM (3ZoRf)

196 Vox Day is going with "second generation secular Turkish immigrant who snapped".

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at July 22, 2016 07:53 PM (6FqZa)

197 I haven't been to a movie theater in a long time. As a kid went at least every other week.

Posted by: Skip at July 22, 2016 07:53 PM (bksJQ)

198 It was an ok movie. I enjoyed out.

And you're right. Henry Cavil is foine.

Ben Affleck wasn't bad either. He was rocking that grey temple hair.

Panther dude was also good looking. Lot's of eye candy for this lady.

Luthor was freaking annoying. I wanted to punch him.

Posted by: chique d'afrique, l'americaine at July 22, 2016 07:54 PM (v9gSJ)

199 That's what's missing from the extended cut. The bodies get flamethrowered as if superman heat ray'd them all. Also, the US govt was going to drone strike the place, which is why the senator is going on and on about authority. And you have the lady saying superman killed them all and flew off. The missing 30 minutes really makes it less of a mess, WB made a mistake in releasing the theatrical cut in the first place.

Posted by: Brenden at July 22, 2016 07:54 PM (Am63W)

200 I enjoyed *it*.

Posted by: chique d'afrique, l'americaine at July 22, 2016 07:54 PM (v9gSJ)

201 I know he's upset at Superman but come on Batman, do some investigating before you go on a murder spree.

-
Superman has his Fortress of Solitude which is unheated and located in the least desireable neighborhood on Earth. Batman has a mansion complete with butler in a very desireable neighborhood. Superman is Bernie Sanders and Batman is Donald Trump and Trump is jealous of Bernie?

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Racist for Dinosaurs at July 22, 2016 07:55 PM (Nwg0u)

202 I'm not a comic book movie guy but looking forward to watching Suicide Squad.

Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at July 22, 2016 07:55 PM (MNgU2)

203 On radio today they were discussing Rotten Tomatoes, if as they were saying it's a aggregate of reviews the higher the score the more people liked it. Even some bad movies get a cult following.

Posted by: Skip at July 22, 2016 07:56 PM (bksJQ)

204 Breaking : Hillary firing up the bathroom server now.

Clinton to announce VP pick any minute by email.

Posted by: USA at July 22, 2016 07:57 PM (tfM+W)

205 Off topic but why the hell do the mods/contributors to ACE link to Buzzfeed News?? Nothing pisses me off more than giving them sons of bitches god damned clicks. I know I can hover and check links before but sometimes the headlines is too juicy and I don't check. So why the F-ck don't they link to an approved site rather and give the enemy money?

Posted by: Smitty27 at July 22, 2016 07:57 PM (g9d8D)

206 The only suspension of disbelief I required in The Dark Knight was that Maggie Gyllenhaal was someone's idea of a billionaire's hot girlfriend.
Posted by: Azathoth at July 22, 2016 07:18 PM (XN0hD)

Yeah. That required an unatainable level of suspension of disbelief.

Posted by: chique d'afrique, l'americaine at July 22, 2016 07:57 PM (v9gSJ)

207 202 I'm not a comic book movie guy but looking forward to watching Suicide Squad.
Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at July 22, 2016 07:55 PM (MNgU2)

Like all movies I am interested it, I just hope it does not suck. DC does not have the best track record.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 22, 2016 07:57 PM (3ZoRf)

208 Rotten Tomatoes has a critics score and audience score. As expected they rarely match up.

Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at July 22, 2016 07:58 PM (MNgU2)

209 Only comic I'm dieing to see is Walking Dead
(see what I did there?)

Posted by: Skip at July 22, 2016 07:58 PM (bksJQ)

210 Breaking : Hillary firing up the bathroom server now.

Clinton to announce VP pick any minute by email.

Posted by: USA at July 22, 2016 07:57 PM (tfM+W)

while peeing in the toilet....a new first....

Posted by: Colin at July 22, 2016 07:58 PM (HQP2c)

211 Wow: From Wikileaks twitter feed:

#DNCLeaks: plot to smear @realDonaldTrump by planting fake ads for hot women in Craigslist

Posted by: USA at July 22, 2016 07:59 PM (tfM+W)

212 while peeing in the toilet....a new first....
Posted by: Colin at July 22, 2016 07:58 PM (HQP2c)

Channeling LBJ.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 22, 2016 07:59 PM (3ZoRf)

213 I did think the Batman-Superman beef was lame.

Posted by: chique d'afrique, l'americaine at July 22, 2016 07:59 PM (v9gSJ)

214 178
You had me at Amy Adams.

Posted by: Chi

Meh. I saw the movie on a tiny airplane screen, and even there I could tell that Gal Gadot was smokin'. Worth waiting for.

Posted by: pep at July 22, 2016 08:00 PM (LAe3v)

215 207 202 I'm not a comic book movie guy but looking forward to watching Suicide Squad.
Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at July 22, 2016 07:55 PM (MNgU2)

Like all movies I am interested it, I just hope it does not suck. DC does not have the best track record.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 22, 2016 07:57 PM (3ZoRf)

It has one thing going for it already. It's not directed by zack Snyder.

Posted by: Buzzion at July 22, 2016 08:00 PM (bMG0w)

216 I remember as an Air Force brat, going to the base movie theater on Saturday, paying about a quarter, and watching cartoons and movies for half a day.

You can all remove yourselves from my lawn now.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 22, 2016 08:00 PM (1ZOkK)

217 Aetius, PPZ is basically PP in an alternate world where there are zombies.

Posted by: @votermom at July 22, 2016 08:01 PM (7lVbc)

218 188 I know some people here liked it, but I thought it was a horrible piece of shit in every way.
Posted by: Dr Spank at July 22, 2016 07:50 PM (4e+hS)

Ok. Are we talking Van Helsing bad? Or Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters bad?
Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 22, 2016 07:51 PM (3ZoRf)

H&G Witch Hunters was stupid fun.

Posted by: Insomniac at July 22, 2016 08:01 PM (0mRoj)

219 Breaking : Hillary firing up the bathroom server now.

Clinton to announce VP pick any minute by email.

Posted by: USA at July 22, 2016 07:57 PM (tfM+W)

while peeing in the toilet....a new first....

Posted by: Colin
****

No, she's sitting on the one for blood.

Posted by: Tilikum KAW at July 22, 2016 08:01 PM (+aCe4)

220 It has one thing going for it already. It's not directed by zack Snyder.
Posted by: Buzzion at July 22, 2016 08:00 PM (bMG0w)

Amen. But also, Will Smith. What you gain on the straight aways, you lose on the roundabounts.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 22, 2016 08:02 PM (3ZoRf)

221 213 I did think the Batman-Superman beef was lame.
Posted by: chique d'afrique, l'americaine at July 22, 2016 07:59 PM (v9gSJ)

Frank Miller's Dark Knight Returns will never be topped for Superman v. Batman.

Posted by: Insomniac at July 22, 2016 08:02 PM (0mRoj)

222 Ok. Are we talking Van Helsing bad?

See, that's the kind of ignorant statement that causes friction around here. It was Kate Beckinsale at her Beckinsaliest.

Posted by: pep at July 22, 2016 08:02 PM (LAe3v)

223 H&G Witch Hunters was stupid fun.
Posted by: Insomniac at July 22, 2016 08:01 PM (0mRoj)

Yeah, I thought it was a fun bad movie. Van Helsing was painful bad.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 22, 2016 08:02 PM (3ZoRf)

224 Breaking : Hillary firing up the bathroom server now.
Clinton to announce VP pick any minute by email.
Posted by: USA at July 22, 2016 07:57 PM (tfM+W)
while peeing in the toilet....a new first....

Wouldn't be the first Clinton to make national decisions while their pants were down

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at July 22, 2016 08:03 PM (6FqZa)

225 See, that's the kind of ignorant statement that causes friction around here. It was Kate Beckinsale at her Beckinsaliest.
Posted by: pep at July 22, 2016 08:02 PM (LAe3v)

No, the only Underworld was her at her best.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 22, 2016 08:03 PM (3ZoRf)

226 Reply winging its way through the aether, Beebs.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at July 22, 2016 08:03 PM (jR7Wy)

227 I have to mention that Lynda Carter will always be my Wonder Woman. I still like to watch that show, with the sound off.

Posted by: freaked at July 22, 2016 08:03 PM (BO/km)

228 208 Rotten Tomatoes has a critics score and audience score. As expected they rarely match up.
Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at July 22, 2016 07:58 PM (MNgU2)

Film critics are usually bubble-dwelling elitist pricks who have no concept of what the rest of the movie-going public wants to see. There was a local film critic whose reviews I used as a negative guide. If he panned it, I watched it and enjoyed it. If he loved it, I knew it was going to suck.

Posted by: Insomniac at July 22, 2016 08:04 PM (0mRoj)

229 Vin Diesel's The Witchunter was guilty pleasure movie as good as H&G . It almost went straight to DVD though.

Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at July 22, 2016 08:04 PM (MNgU2)

230 I can't stand it anymore!

I can't stand this idea that "our superheroes look so SERIOUS and REAL when we sap all the color out of their costumes." No. No, they don't look "serious." And, no, they don't look "real."

They just look dull.

I wasn't very far into that stupid-ass, boring-as-hell movie before I said, "This is what the world looks like to someone who is slowly going blind!"

Here's Chris Reeve in BLUE! RED! and (OMG!) YELLOW!

http://tinyurl.com/zfda7rp

Posted by: RKae at July 22, 2016 08:05 PM (aFQtB)

231 What's the final count of the number of dicks Glennnnn Beck has sucked this week?

Does it count if he's... ooo... not done yet?

Posted by: ted cruz at July 22, 2016 08:05 PM (6FqZa)

232 >>>No, the only Underworld was her at her best.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 22, 2016 08:03 PM (3ZoRf)<<<
It's a shame they didn't make more of those. That first (and only one) was so very good.

Posted by: lalalalala...can't hear anyone who says otherwise at July 22, 2016 08:05 PM (H9MG5)

233 Munich police give the all-clear. One shooter and he's dead. Not the three reported earlier. From what they can tell anyway.

Posted by: Azathoth at July 22, 2016 08:05 PM (XN0hD)

234 Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 22, 2016 08:00 PM (1ZOkK)

---
Did yours have the old geezer who walked around making sure punks stood up for the national anthem?

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at July 22, 2016 08:06 PM (jR7Wy)

235 232 >>>No, the only Underworld was her at her best.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 22, 2016 08:03 PM (3ZoRf)
It's a shame they didn't make more of those. That first (and only one) was so very good.
Posted by: lalalalala...can't hear anyone who says otherwise at July 22, 2016 08:05 PM (H9MG5)

Yeah, same with the Matrix and a third spiderman movie. Darn shame.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 22, 2016 08:06 PM (3ZoRf)

236 Clinton to announce VP pick any minute by email.

Posted by: USA at July 22, 2016 07:57 PM (tfM+W)

while peeing in the toilet....a new first....

Posted by: Colin

She's multitasking! and using Synergy!

Posted by: Bossy Conservative...pondering the future at July 22, 2016 08:06 PM (Cz05v)

237 Gal Gadot. There is another little known movie out there that she's in, that in my opinion is worth a watch. I'm a Kevin Costner fan (I even liked the movies that were widely panned - The Postman & and Waterworld - panned but did very well in box office take - anyway, the movie is "Criminal". I thought it was well done and, as I said, worth a view. Gal Gadot has a captivating smile.

Posted by: Mr Macca Bean at July 22, 2016 08:07 PM (4ng05)

238 223 H&G Witch Hunters was stupid fun.
Posted by: Insomniac at July 22, 2016 08:01 PM (0mRoj)

Yeah, I thought it was a fun bad movie. Van Helsing was painful bad.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 22, 2016 08:02 PM (3ZoRf)

Never saw that one. The white witch chick in H&G had a real nice caboose, did she not?

Posted by: Insomniac at July 22, 2016 08:07 PM (0mRoj)

239 Serious question, they remade Rocky Horror. 1: will you watch. 2: will you dance the Time Warp again? Appearing on Fox this fall.

Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at July 22, 2016 08:07 PM (6Ll1u)

240 I had very much written off Gal Godot when they cast her. She was the razor thin hot chick from a couple of the Fast and Furious sequels.

But being a good combat arms vet (hand to hand and marksmanship instructor, IDF), she put on the muscle, worked out, and I gotta admit, I liked her take on it. She took that first shot, wiped the trickle of blood, and grinned, like "Oh, I really did miss this."

Posted by: Colonel Kurtz at July 22, 2016 08:07 PM (SSiqh)

241 Virginia's highest court strikes down governor's executive order restoring voting rights to felons

Suck it, Terry.

Posted by: Azathoth at July 22, 2016 08:07 PM (XN0hD)

242 The extended version fills in several gaps, particularly with Luthors ridiculous convoluted plan and fleshes out Superman quite a bit more.

I hated Eisenberg. Not a single thing about him said "evil genius" to me. Instead of megalomaniac we got snot nosed, annoy bitchboy who is about as smart as the average SJW with daddy issues at a Thanksgiving dinner.

Also, in the extended version, Lois seemed a lot more like Lois and less like a vapid bint that got stuck in scenes because there has to be a Lois in a Superman flick.

I was really surprised and wanted to hate him, but Batfleck was good. I don't know why they went with Psychoamurder Batman but the scene where he raids the warehouse made the price of admission worthwhile.

A lot of people have been critical of this version of Superman over the last two films, but I kind of like it. Yeah, he's not the blue Boy Scout. They're showing him trying to get there". That honestly makes more sense to me than some super powered God who is all good and perfect. It's got to be hard to be Superman. You're an alien who really can't related to anyone but have this core moral value to use your powers to benefit people... yet even Superman can't save everyone. Imagine there really was a blue Boy Scout Superman in our current world. He'd have fans... and a giant Twitter mob who hates him no matter what he does and a media who will look for or invent anything to stir up controversy and show cracks in perfection.

HISHE and Honest Trailers do a really good job on summarizing the flaws and it's entertaining as hell to watch their takes on it.

Posted by: Damiano at July 22, 2016 08:07 PM (71OEY)

243 "How do you find a woman who is both Lynda Carter and Rhonda Roussey at the same time?"

Oh, she exists, all right; her name is Gina Carano.

Posted by: Prothonotary Warbler... Ask not for whom The Donald Trumps. at July 22, 2016 08:08 PM (0OG8D)

244 And oh, by the way, Superman's chief adviser Alfred was the chief adviser
to the Luthor-puppet working to suppress the Kryptonian people - one of
his many very close ties to the Green Goblin.

Posted by: porpoison at July 22, 2016 08:08 PM (iU9Qe)

245 I imagine the Hillary insiders will get the email first, wouldn't that be ironic, before the world finds out.

Posted by: Skip at July 22, 2016 08:08 PM (bksJQ)

246

She's multitasking! and using Synergy!
Posted by: Bossy Conservative...pondering the future at July 22, 2016 08:06 PM (Cz05v)

That's classified.

But that's ok. Everybody already knows from the Russians... and the Chinese... and the Uzbeks... and the 14 year old from down the street.

Posted by: Mr Macca Bean at July 22, 2016 08:08 PM (4ng05)

247 Gal Gadot has a captivating smile.
Posted by: Mr Macca Bean at July 22, 2016 08:07 PM (4ng05)

She has one thing that really gets me going. She has the classy, but smokey enough look that makes you think "she would be hell on wheels" style to her that is all but forgotten. These days. I am all for boobs and cleavage being thrown in my face, but sultry sexiness is an attraction all it's own that transcends the physical attributes of a woman.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 22, 2016 08:09 PM (3ZoRf)

248 234
Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 22, 2016 08:00 PM (1ZOkK)

---

Did yours have the old geezer who walked around making sure punks stood up for the national anthem?

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at July 22, 2016 08:06 PM (jR7Wy)

Nope. I do recall we all stood up. I was an officer's kid, and had it beaten into my head that I'd damn well better behave myself. Even had to answer the phone "_________ residence."

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 22, 2016 08:09 PM (1ZOkK)

249 What did you guys think of Brothers Grimm?
And how is Brothers Grimsby?

Posted by: @votermom at July 22, 2016 08:10 PM (7lVbc)

250 >>>Yeah, same with the Matrix and a third spiderman movie. Darn shame.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 22, 2016 08:06 PM (3ZoRf)<<<
Also Blade.

I always thought it was really weird that after the vamps kill Whistler, and Blade goes to find them and gets captured... the movie ended? Wonder how that wrapped up. I bet it was freakin' awesome.
They really should've made more of those, too. The paychecks probably would have helped Wesley Snipes to pay his back taxes.

Posted by: lalalalala...can't hear anyone who says otherwise at July 22, 2016 08:10 PM (H9MG5)

251 Superman motivation has always been a mystery for me. It's not nookie so what gives?

Posted by: freaked at July 22, 2016 08:11 PM (BO/km)

252 Sure I'd like to see a Rocky Horror remake.
I still kind of remember the people at midnight shows in Denver in fall of 1978

Posted by: Skip at July 22, 2016 08:11 PM (bksJQ)

253 Never saw that one. The white witch chick in H&G had a real nice caboose, did she not?
Posted by: Insomniac at July 22, 2016 08:07 PM (0mRoj)

Famke Jensen? Been a while since I have seen it.

If it's Famke Jensen, then yes.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 22, 2016 08:11 PM (3ZoRf)

254 Citizen Kaine is the VP pick

Posted by: Skip at July 22, 2016 08:11 PM (bksJQ)

255 I always thought it was really weird that after the vamps kill Whistler, and Blade goes to find them and gets captured... the movie ended? Wonder how that wrapped up. I bet it was freakin' awesome.
They really should've made more of those, too. The paychecks probably would have helped Wesley Snipes to pay his back taxes.
Posted by: lalalalala...can't hear anyone who says otherwise at July 22, 2016 08:10 PM (H9MG5)

Ha!

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 22, 2016 08:12 PM (3ZoRf)

256 HISHE and Honest Trailers do a really good job on summarizing the flaws and it's entertaining as hell to watch their takes on it.
Posted by: Damiano at July 22, 2016 08:07 PM (71OEY)

I love HISHE. Cracks me up every time.

Posted by: Insomniac at July 22, 2016 08:13 PM (0mRoj)

257 'I still kind of remember the people at midnight shows in Denver in fall of 1978'

A toast!

Posted by: freaked at July 22, 2016 08:13 PM (BO/km)

258 Husband just called from ATL and told me how much "everyone" misses me and how he wishes I was there.

I assured him I miss all of them *cough* but have hands full with sick kitteh. So he and our son are preparing low country boil for the lazy-assed sibs and their hell spawn for MIL's 92nd b-day. And I sent the b-day cake.

My filet mignon and caesar salad will be especially tasty tonight.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 22, 2016 08:13 PM (1ZOkK)

259 i think the superman motivation is like this:

Superman is a little boy's idea of a hero. Batman is a teenaged boy's idea of a hero.

So Superman is all good, bright, sunny, corny, smiling, fatherly, and fantastical.

Batman is mysterious, dark, badass, sticks his dick into women he doesn't know very well, punches people, drives fast cars, kicks a guy in the neck, has mad cash, twists a guy's arm until the bones pop.

Superman's motivation is just that he wants to help because it's the right thing to do. It's not complicated.

Batman's motivation -- the teenage boy's hero -- is that his parents are dead so he's Spittin' Mad but then you know it's also pretty cool to have freedom from your parents so you can fuck models and smash people's teeth out

Posted by: ace at July 22, 2016 08:14 PM (dciA+)

260 253 Never saw that one. The white witch chick in H&G had a real nice caboose, did she not?
Posted by: Insomniac at July 22, 2016 08:07 PM (0mRoj)

Famke Jensen? Been a while since I have seen it.

If it's Famke Jensen, then yes.
Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 22, 2016 08:11 PM (3ZoRf)

The good witch who helps out H&G. The one that goes skinny dipping with Hansel.

Posted by: Insomniac at July 22, 2016 08:14 PM (0mRoj)

261 Rhonda Mitra was a fine sub for Beckensale in the Underworld series. She looked her best in the goofy movie Doomsday.

Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at July 22, 2016 08:14 PM (MNgU2)

262 Serious question, they remade Rocky Horror. 1: will
you watch. 2: will you dance the Time Warp again? Appearing on Fox this
fall.

Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at July 22, 2016 08:07 PM (6Ll1u)

Terrible idea, and I won't watch it....as a guy who went to the midnight showings and carried the toast, spray bottle, etc....

Posted by: Colin at July 22, 2016 08:14 PM (HQP2c)

263 Hillary thousands a bone to a white guy
That will be the last one ever.

Posted by: Skip at July 22, 2016 08:15 PM (bksJQ)

264 Do over

Hillary throws a bone to a white guy
That will be the last one ever

Posted by: Skip at July 22, 2016 08:16 PM (bksJQ)

265 Batman's motivation -- the teenage boy's hero -- is
that his parents are dead so he's Spittin' Mad but then you know it's
also pretty cool to have freedom from your parents so you can fuck
models and smash people's teeth out

Posted by: ace at July 22, 2016 08:14 PM (dciA+)

Parents everywhere, reading this, are looking sideways at their sons tonight.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 22, 2016 08:16 PM (1ZOkK)

266 The good witch who helps out H&G. The one that goes skinny dipping with Hansel.
Posted by: Insomniac at July 22, 2016 08:14 PM (0mRoj)

I looked her up. Pihla Viitalia.

Posted by: @votermom at July 22, 2016 08:16 PM (7lVbc)

267 The good witch who helps out H&G. The one that goes skinny dipping with Hansel.
Posted by: Insomniac at July 22, 2016 08:14 PM (0mRoj)

Ah, yes. The redhead. I was not looking at her ass, but yes.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 22, 2016 08:16 PM (3ZoRf)

268 a group of friends took me to see rocky horror.
it was in one of those big cities, berkeley or hayward.

when the spray bottles came out for the rain, along with
the chanting and singing...ugh

weirdos

Posted by: concrete girl at July 22, 2016 08:16 PM (rlSsZ)

269 Whoever came up with it. Thread winner!!!

Kaine/Disabled 2016

Woo Hoo!!

Posted by: L, Elle at July 22, 2016 08:17 PM (6IPEM)

270 Never saw that one. The white witch chick in HG had a real nice caboose, did she not?

Posted by: Insomniac

Famke Jensen? Been a while since I have seen it.

If it's Famke Jensen, then yes.

Posted by: Aetius451AD

She played the evil witch. The white witch was played by Pihla Viitala, a Finnish actress. I've saved you the trouble of an image search:

http://tinyurl.com/zunbemt

Posted by: Brother Cavil, That Guy at July 22, 2016 08:18 PM (vyqqu)

271 266 The good witch who helps out H&G. The one that goes skinny dipping with Hansel.
Posted by: Insomniac at July 22, 2016 08:14 PM (0mRoj)

I looked her up. Pihla Viitalia.
Posted by: @votermom at July 22, 2016 08:16 PM (7lVbc)

That's her. I like her.

Posted by: Insomniac at July 22, 2016 08:18 PM (0mRoj)

272
263 Hillary thousands a bone to a white guy
That will be the last one ever.
Posted by: Skip at July 22, 2016 08:15 PM (bksJQ)

I hate auto correct for ya.

Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at July 22, 2016 08:18 PM (MNgU2)

273 259 i think the superman motivation is like this:
Superman is a little boy's idea of a hero. Batman is a teenaged boy's idea of a hero.

I get that but what drives Superman? What makes him get out of bed every morning? Is it because he loves Mankind? What's in it for him? He can have anything, instead he's farting around on Earth.

Posted by: freaked at July 22, 2016 08:18 PM (BO/km)

274 when the spray bottles came out for the rain, along with

the chanting and singing...ugh

weirdos

Posted by: concrete girl at July 22, 2016 08:16 PM (rlSsZ)

That's why you carried a newspaper, to keep dry...

Posted by: Colin at July 22, 2016 08:18 PM (HQP2c)

275 #269: "Cain" and "Abel", but also "Cane" and "Disabled".

It's a double pun! Now, that is is clever!

Posted by: Prothonotary Warbler... Ask not for whom The Donald Trumps. at July 22, 2016 08:18 PM (0OG8D)

276 I'll always remember the guys sitting in front of me when I saw Rocky Horror the first time, what the fuck was used quite a bit.

Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at July 22, 2016 08:18 PM (6Ll1u)

277 There's a running gag on my site about how any Jesus-related movie gets dumped on by critics, no matter how good. Mentioning Jesus in a non-cursing, non-ironic way costs you 40% on RT.

"Miracles of Heaven," for example, is a fine film. But it mentions the J-word. 40 points.

http://moviegique.com/index.php/2016/07/20/miracles-from-heaven/

My film-of-the-year for 2011 was "Machine Gun Preacher". All about a guy who turns his life around through Christianity, but who's still a dangerous force. But...Jesus, so -50%:

http://moviegique.com/index.php/2011/10/14/machine-gun-preacher/

Most of the time, I probably side with the critics, because when you go see a lot of movies, you start to value things differently than someone who sees even 10 movies a year. But I think I can recognize that fact.

I liked "The Lobster", but I'm not going to recommend it to everyone. (Or virtually anyone.) I liked "The Witch", but it's not for the teenage shrieker crowd. Etc.

Posted by: moviegique at July 22, 2016 08:18 PM (7zeA4)

278 ace, you should have watched the extended edition. although i also loved the theatrical edition (hell, i saw it 3 times). the luthor portrayal they were going for here was very much a mad scientist throw back from WAY back in the day...eisenberg is likely to be in more dc movies in the future (in fact, given that bruce has him sent to arkham he's even rumored to have a cameo in suicide squad), so his portrayal of luthor will probably evolve into something closer to his modern day bent.

Posted by: stephanie brown at July 22, 2016 08:19 PM (zpc4s)

279 There's a great bit of dialogue in the first season of Young Justice. Wonderwoman starts getting on Batman's case about how he let Robin become his sidekick and even helped to take down his parents killer. She says he's doing it so he becomes just like him. He has a simple response; that he did that so Robin wouldn't become him.

I just always liked that bit.

Posted by: buzzion at July 22, 2016 08:19 PM (bMG0w)

280 oops...sorry Colin

Posted by: concrete girl at July 22, 2016 08:19 PM (rlSsZ)

281 What's in it for him? He can have anything, instead he's farting around on Earth.
Posted by: freaked

-----

He grew up on a farm. The midwest thing was always vitally important to his character.

He's a nice guy.

Posted by: RKae at July 22, 2016 08:20 PM (aFQtB)

282 >>>Cause she was shoplifting. Derr.
Posted by: eleven at July 22, 2016 07:37 PM (qUNWi)

Batman is the Worlds Greatest Detective, not the Worlds Greatest Mallcop.
:::looks around for Ace:::
Winona Winona Winona!!!

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at July 22, 2016 08:20 PM (ZwYB4)

283 >>>
I get that but what drives Superman? What makes him get out of bed every morning? Is it because he loves Mankind? What's in it for him? He can have anything, instead he's farting around on Earth.

because he simply was born with an innately strong morality. Some are.

Posted by: ace at July 22, 2016 08:21 PM (dciA+)

284 what did you think? Did it make things make more damn sense?
Posted by: ace at July 22, 2016 07:00 PM (dciA+)

Late, but yes. As does a rewatch (I didn't read the discs and wound up watching the theatrical rather than extended).

Extended shows that the bodies of the people in the village were burned to make people think Superman did that (and hey, who does forensics half a world a way) and also explains the woman who testifies how her family was killed in the power vacuum.

Which still doesn't make a lot of sense, but roll with it.

The extended helps lay out why Bruce went so mad that he needed to take Superman out (Though Han's Gruber's brother...er Alfred's line in the film of how relative impotence can cause men to lose their mind works as well).

Over all the film is still too convoluted, trying to be too clever by a good one and a half, and still too much tried in one movie to catch up with Marvel but at least the extended kind of fills out the whole trail to follow rather than the broken jumping the theatrical had.

Plus Batman has a fight that is even more brutal to make up for the Doomsday fight where he largely is just trying to not get killed.

Posted by: Bete resigned to just watching the world burn at July 22, 2016 08:21 PM (Ojki1)

285 I mean, it's not complicated, but it's also not unrealistic. There just are some people who are strongly on the side of good. Not because of any backstory; just because they are.

Posted by: ace at July 22, 2016 08:22 PM (dciA+)

286 Posted by: ace at July 22, 2016 08:14 PM (dciA+)

Superman is the classic hero. The White knight. The John Wayne.

Batman, before Miller put his take on the character out there was not conflicted either really. To continue the analogies from above, he is Clint Eastwood in High Plains Drifter.

Both of them are archetypes. Not really 'complex' per se, but that does not mean they cannot be rich characters.

One of the things I liked about the Superman Returns boot was that, at least they tried to get into Superman's head. The idea that he hears people crying for help- ALL THE TIME, is an interesting attempt at motivation for a more real world idea of Superman. The idea that he hears not just the people he saves, but every cry he could not answer with a happy ending.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 22, 2016 08:22 PM (3ZoRf)

287 Posted by: Prothonotary Warbler... Ask not for whom The Donald Trumps. at July 22, 2016 08:08 PM (0OG8D)
Holy god yes. When I didn't get to see her boob in Deadpool a small part of me died.

Posted by: thathalfrican - keeping people on their toes like they hate sittin' at July 22, 2016 08:22 PM (R5HRU)

288 "my expectations were pretty low. That's important."

As I always taught my kids: the secret to happiness is low expectations.

Posted by: DebbyWitt at July 22, 2016 08:23 PM (JMX8b)

289 >>273 259 i think the superman motivation is like this:
Superman is a little boy's idea of a hero. Batman is a teenaged boy's idea of a hero.

And The Flash just wanted to get out of the house, away from his shrewish wife.

So I guess he's the middle-aged man's idea of a hero.

Posted by: moviegique at July 22, 2016 08:23 PM (7zeA4)

290 The mortality was instilled by his parents and he honors that I suppose. Lucky for Earth he had good parents.

Posted by: freaked at July 22, 2016 08:23 PM (BO/km)

291 Posted by: moviegique at July 22, 2016 08:18 PM (7zeA4)

Is The Witch good? Is it horror or psychological?

Posted by: @votermom at July 22, 2016 08:23 PM (7lVbc)

292 As I always taught my kids: the secret to happiness is low expectations.
Posted by: DebbyWitt

----

The gift of pessimism: You're either right, or you're pleasantly surprised.

Posted by: RKae at July 22, 2016 08:24 PM (aFQtB)

293 I just always liked that bit.
Posted by: buzzion at July 22, 2016 08:19 PM (bMG0w)

And that is damn good understanding of the character and his motivation.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 22, 2016 08:24 PM (3ZoRf)

294 >>>166 and "Mystery Men," which was good when Bob Burden's weird take was in it and meh when it wasn't.
Posted by: Uma Thurmond's Feet at July 22, 2016 07:41 PM (Cd5nj)

I would love to see a Flaming Carrot movie. It would have to either be great or Howard the Duck shitty. UT!!!

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at July 22, 2016 08:25 PM (ZwYB4)

295 292 As I always taught my kids: the secret to happiness is low expectations.
Posted by: DebbyWitt

----

The gift of pessimism: You're either right, or you're pleasantly surprised.
Posted by: RKae at July 22, 2016 08:24 PM (aFQtB)

Very true. Although I have found at times that even with rock-bottom expectations I am still disappointed. Sometimes life is just a giant morass of suck.

Posted by: Insomniac at July 22, 2016 08:25 PM (0mRoj)

296 Morality not mort

Posted by: freaked at July 22, 2016 08:25 PM (BO/km)

297 #282: She stole my heart, and,
then she stole some clothes!

It's those Horowitz women,
that give me, give me, give me,
the Horowitz Blues!

Posted by: Prothonotary Warbler... Ask not for whom The Donald Trumps. at July 22, 2016 08:26 PM (0OG8D)

298 You also cannot tell the difference between the situation in Gotham right now and the suspension of all civil rights.

Posted by: porpoison at July 22, 2016 08:26 PM (iU9Qe)

299 283 >>>
I get that but what drives Superman? What makes him get out of bed every morning? Is it because he loves Mankind? What's in it for him? He can have anything, instead he's farting around on Earth.

because he simply was born with an innately strong morality. Some are.

Posted by: ace at July 22, 2016 08:21 PM (dciA+)

And a farm boy from Kansas

Posted by: buzzion at July 22, 2016 08:27 PM (bMG0w)

300 Serious question, they remade Rocky Horror. 1: will you watch. 2: will you dance the Time Warp again? Appearing on Fox this fall.

-
In the original, the tranny is the villain. In the reboot, the tranny is played by a tranny. My guess is the entire premise will be PC'd up to the point it will be unrecognizeable. Prove me wrong, Hollywood.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Racist for Dinosaurs at July 22, 2016 08:27 PM (Nwg0u)

301 She has one thing that really gets me going. She has the classy, but smokey enough look that makes you think "she would be hell on wheels" style to her that is all but forgotten. These days. I am all for boobs and cleavage being thrown in my face, but sultry sexiness is an attraction all it's own that transcends the physical attributes of a woman.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 22, 2016 08:09 PM (3ZoRf)

Well said. Very well said. Not just about Gadot but the sultry, sexy thing.

The stripper look gets boring quickly and way too many women look like stripper Barbie now with all the plastic. If I want that, I can buy a Real Doll and not but up with the stupidity.

Now a classy, sultry woman that can turn you upside down with a smile over her shoulder... yes please.

Posted by: Damiano at July 22, 2016 08:27 PM (71OEY)

302 Superman : Captain America as Batman : Ironman

Posted by: @votermom at July 22, 2016 08:28 PM (7lVbc)

303 #287: She's in Deadpool? I did not know that; I haven't seen it yet. Thanks for the tip!

Posted by: Prothonotary Warbler... Ask not for whom The Donald Trumps. at July 22, 2016 08:28 PM (0OG8D)

304 302 Superman : Captain America as Batman : Ironman
Posted by: @votermom at July 22, 2016 08:28 PM (7lVbc)

If you're comparing to Civil War, yes. But Ironman is on the side of hero registration, which Batman would never in a million years agree to.

Posted by: Insomniac at July 22, 2016 08:29 PM (0mRoj)

305 I don't want to do spoilers (which probably aren't even spoilers) but it was a big convoluted mistake to try to tell TWO entire multi-comic stories in one.

These are TWO of the biggest comics in the world, jammed into one movie. That gives it a rushed perfunctory quality where big things are allegedly happening but you don't feel it because they're just rushing through their plot points.

Here's my little pro-tip:

Tell ONE STORY

Have ONE villain

it's not complicated, folks

Posted by: ace at July 22, 2016 08:29 PM (dciA+)

306 the secret to happiness is low expectations.

-
That's what gets me up in the morning.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Racist for Dinosaurs at July 22, 2016 08:29 PM (Nwg0u)

307 Did you know that the butler "riff raff" was the one who actually wrote most of the music for Rocky Horror?

Posted by: Tinfoilbaby at July 22, 2016 08:29 PM (6Ll1u)

308 294 >>>166 and "Mystery Men," which was good when Bob Burden's weird take was in it and meh when it wasn't.
Posted by: Uma Thurmond's Feet at July 22, 2016 07:41 PM (Cd5nj)

I would love to see a Flaming Carrot movie. It would have to either be great or Howard the Duck shitty. UT!!!
Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at July 22, 2016 08:25 PM (ZwYB4)

---
"They Cloned Hitler's Feet" would be a great place to start.

And yes I have all the Flaming Carrots. All of them.

Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at July 22, 2016 08:29 PM (jR7Wy)

309 The extended version is VASTLY superior. At the same time, there are still flaws: "Martha," Amy Adams, Lex being too much, Amy Adams, stuffing in "adverts" for Justice League so hackneyed to make the Capt. America references in Iron Man 2 look like high art, Amy Adams . . . dear lord, she was the worst thing in a very flawed "Man of Steel," too. Of course, lines like "I'm a Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist" don't help. But she has ZERO chemistry. With anyone. In either picture.

Still and all, the extended version makes a LOT more sense of the plot - including the original attempt at framing Superman, etc. Just overall much, much better. Not remotely perfect, not nearly as good as "Civil War," but WAY better than the theatrical cut.

In fact, I showed my wife both versions - theatrical first - and she agreed that if she ever taught another film class she could just show those two movies to show the perils of editing.

Posted by: Patrick at July 22, 2016 08:29 PM (U6YEj)

310 And a farm boy from Kansas
Posted by: buzzion at July 22, 2016 08:27 PM (bMG0w)

Farm boys are the best heroes.

Posted by: Princess Buttercup at July 22, 2016 08:30 PM (7lVbc)

311 @Votermom: You can check out my review at the link:

http://moviegique.com/index.php/2016/03/16/witch/

The executive summary is that it's certainly horror: Terrible things happen to people, and the main question is, is it really The Debbil! or has our heroine (or possibly a member of her family, like her creepy twin siblings) snapped?

But it IS low key.

It does a really excellent job of conveying the (real world) isolation of early American settlers. And it also leaves no doubt, by its conclusion as to what actually happened. It's kind of a modern take on all those '60s and '70s films like "The Conqueror Worm" and so on.

Posted by: moviegique at July 22, 2016 08:30 PM (7zeA4)

312 285 I mean, it's not complicated, but it's also not unrealistic. There just are some people who are strongly on the side of good. Not because of any backstory; just because they are.

Posted by: ace at July 22, 2016 08:22 PM (dciA+)

Some men are just decent. Washington may have had his problems (although I still say he was a better man on balance than pretty much anyone) but I sill remember the story about King George saying that of course Washington would set himself as king. His aide tells him "He is standing down." And King George's reply "Then he must be the greatest man in the world."

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 22, 2016 08:31 PM (3ZoRf)

313 #310: Yeah, until they turn out to be your brother...

Posted by: Princess Leia at July 22, 2016 08:31 PM (0OG8D)

314 >>Extended shows that the bodies of the people in the village were burned to make people think Superman did that (and hey, who does forensics half a world a way) and also explains the woman who testifies how her family was killed in the power vacuum.

Luthor paid off the the woman to lie and testify that Superman was the man who did it, then later had the KGBeast kill her.

Posted by: stephanie brown at July 22, 2016 08:31 PM (zpc4s)

315 In the original, the tranny is the villain. In the
reboot, the tranny is played by a tranny. My guess is the entire premise
will be PC'd up to the point it will be unrecognizeable. Prove me
wrong, Hollywood.

Posted by: Anonosaurus Wrecks, Racist for Dinosaurs at July 22, 2016 08:27 PM (Nwg0u)

Your going to be right, the original was a hoot, sort of like most remakes, updated with all the PC they can muster.

Posted by: Colin at July 22, 2016 08:32 PM (HQP2c)

316 >>>307 Did you know that the butler "riff raff" was the one who actually wrote most of the music for Rocky Horror?

yeah I knew that. i've seen him as a minor player in other things.

Posted by: ace at July 22, 2016 08:32 PM (dciA+)

317 I also liked Lex Luthor portrayed as a Zuckerbergian dickweed gone mad through his power, money, and Daddy issues.

Not at all like the real one.

While I was traveling, I saw the best action movie Ive seen in a while,

That got zero love at the box office.

"London Has Fallen" is pure action awesomeness from beginning to end.

It just never lets up.

And Butler who used to have this sort of handsome ugly guy thing going

Has slid more to the rumpled ugly side

And it really works well for his character

Give yourself a treat and check it out this weekend

Pure terrorist asskicking bliss

Posted by: Naturalfake at July 22, 2016 08:33 PM (0cMkb)

318 >>In fact, I showed my wife both versions - theatrical first - and she agreed that if she ever taught another film class she could just show those two movies to show the perils of editing.

Don't be too hard on the editors. They were basically forced by WB into a shit situation and did the best they could.

Posted by: stephanie brown at July 22, 2016 08:34 PM (zpc4s)

319 "So I have to say, while Superman makes sense, he's just not as interesting as the lunatic Batman, who makes no sense, but is compelling, as lunatics often are."

Next four years should be spellbinding then.

Posted by: alex at July 22, 2016 08:34 PM (b26AS)

320 He grew up on a farm. The midwest thing was always vitally important to his character.

He's a nice guy.
Posted by: RKae at July 22, 2016 08:20 PM (aFQtB)

Raised by salt of the earth parents that we just a tad too old for an infant but brough added wisdom and patience to things that might not have been there if they were a few years younger.

Like I said about, I like the new Sups. It would not easy being a Superpowered blue Boy Scout in our current world, especially when you've only recently "come out". Dad "great power, great responsibility" speeches only go so far. At some point, I'd have to imagine him thinking... you know, I saved a gazillion people and all I get for it is people bitching that I didn't do enough. Fuck you. Go back to dying in fires and floods and I will fly about you and laugh.

Posted by: Damiano at July 22, 2016 08:35 PM (71OEY)

321 If you're comparing to Civil War, yes. But Ironman is on the side of hero registration, which Batman would never in a million years agree to.
Posted by: Insomniac at July 22, 2016 08:29 PM (0mRoj)

No, I meant personas in the comics.

Superman / Captain America are the red white & blue, truth justice, and the American way, straight & narrow heroes. Also have superpowers.

Batman / Ironman are the individuals who for personal reasons decide to make a difference through wealth, gadgets, and courage.

Posted by: @votermom at July 22, 2016 08:35 PM (7lVbc)

322 Ace, if you're still reading here, what would you like to see be made into your dream film?

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 22, 2016 08:35 PM (1ZOkK)

323 Don't be too hard on the editors. They were basically forced by WB into a shit situation and did the best they could.
Posted by: stephanie brown at July 22, 2016 08:34 PM (zpc4s)

And, just like Sheperd Smith, Zack Snyder continues to be employable because he always says "Yes."

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 22, 2016 08:35 PM (3ZoRf)

324 'Some men are just decent.'

Wired that way or trained that way? Or some of both?

Posted by: freaked at July 22, 2016 08:36 PM (BO/km)

325 Second that "London Has Fallen" was good. Should have been a 70% but the critics gave it 25%.

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at July 22, 2016 08:37 PM (6FqZa)

326 'I saved a gazillion people and all I get for it is people bitching'

I know right? The guy's a saint. A alien saint.

Posted by: freaked at July 22, 2016 08:38 PM (BO/km)

327 Let me put it this way, Ace. If you had unlimited funds, what movie would you make, and who would direct and star in it?

I'd love an AoS produced film.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 22, 2016 08:39 PM (1ZOkK)

328 An

Posted by: freaked at July 22, 2016 08:39 PM (BO/km)

329 I've been meaning to see London Has Fallen.

Posted by: @votermom at July 22, 2016 08:39 PM (7lVbc)

330 The extended version clears up a lot of plot confusion from the theatrical version. If you liked the theater version at all, see the extended cut.

Posted by: SAZMD at July 22, 2016 08:39 PM (nPg4+)

331 Batman / Ironman are the individuals who for personal reasons decide to make a difference through wealth, gadgets, and courage.

Posted by: @votermom at July 22, 2016 08:35 PM (7lVbc)

Close, but Tony Stark in the original comics was pretty much just smart- and hated communists. Wounded in Vietnam, he has to create the armor to escape the commie warlord who has him prisoner, then has to keep wearing it because of the shrapnel. He decides to keep fighting super commies world wide.

In the comics, he was not just a super hero, but also a commentary on the idea of capitalism vs communism. Rich, famous, and a genius. The triumph of individualism as well.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 22, 2016 08:40 PM (3ZoRf)

332 Richard O'Brian did more than write the songs for Rocky Horror. He wrote the original musical and co-wrote the screenplay for the movie.

Fun fact: When Flash Gordon and Prince Barin are talking on Arboria in the FG movie, Richard O'Brian is the bald guy playing some sort of flute thing while they're talking. Guy turned up everywhere.

Posted by: Azathoth at July 22, 2016 08:41 PM (XN0hD)

333 Wired that way or trained that way? Or some of both?
Posted by: freaked at July 22, 2016 08:36 PM (BO/km)

I think some of both. John Wayne, from everything I have read, was a fundamentally decent guy- which is why he was so good in those roles. However, he had an evil wench of a mother who hated his guts.

Sometimes 'nurture' does not take.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 22, 2016 08:42 PM (3ZoRf)

334 If you're comparing to Civil War, yes. But Ironman is on the side of hero registration, which Batman would never in a million years agree to.
Posted by: Insomniac at July 22, 2016 08:29 PM (0mRoj

Batman has plans on how to take out every member of the Justice League should they turn rogue. He hats guns yet uses cutting edge vehicles- some with weapons (though guns are more his earliest comic issues and movie) while wanting no one to have them as he hates them.

Batman would be pro registration in a heart beat- he doesn't trust others and is always looking for their flaws and signs that they need to be stopped now.

Posted by: Bete resigned to just watching the world burn at July 22, 2016 08:43 PM (Ojki1)

335 Nood. Hillary and her "Cane".

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 22, 2016 08:43 PM (3ZoRf)

336 I always liked Batman because he could be a real person. Superman not so much.

Posted by: freaked at July 22, 2016 08:43 PM (BO/km)

337 Let me put it this way, Ace. If you had unlimited funds, what movie would you make, and who would direct and star in it?

It would be "BTH and Strippers and Coke, with Big Payouts to BTH's Family" if I were given unlimited funds. Kind of like how "Star Citizen" has gone for Chris Roberts

Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at July 22, 2016 08:44 PM (6FqZa)

338 >>> Some men are just decent. Washington may have had his problems (although I still say he was a better man on balance than pretty much anyone) but I sill remember the story about King George saying that of course Washington would set himself as king. His aide tells him "He is standing down." And King George's reply "Then he must be the greatest man in the world."
.....

Washington makes perfect sense to me. He didn't want the job. He just wanted to go home and be free to go about life unhampered.

There is no way anyone could convince me to run for President. Chief of Staff? Maybe. I have absolutely zero desire to live in a fishbowl and ever be a household name. Celebrity has zero appeal to me.

Now, if 2/3 of the country stood outside my house and said, "Dude, you have to be president. There is no one else", I'd serve. Grudgingly. And count the minutes until I could leave and never be spoken to again by anyone.

Honestly, I think if anyone wants to be President, they should immediately be disqualified from every being president. The same could be said for every elected office.

Posted by: Damiano at July 22, 2016 08:45 PM (71OEY)

339 >>>I'd love an AoS produced film.

Posted by: Jane D'oh at July 22, 2016 08:39 PM (1ZOkK)

Nobody has done a Groo movie or a Ralph Snart movie.

Posted by: Banana Splits Guy at July 22, 2016 08:46 PM (+b2T3)

340 How about a movie about the greatest of the Green Lanterns?

That's right... I'm talking about Guy Gardner.

I'd have Seann William Scott play him.

Posted by: Prothonotary Warbler... Ask not for whom The Donald Trumps. at July 22, 2016 08:48 PM (0OG8D)

341 I gotta disagree about Batman being "pro registration". Note that while he has a plan to kill everyone in the Justice League, he doesn't share it with anyone. Can't imagine he'd be interested in sharing it with the "bathroom server" President.

Also, he fights corruption and, yeah, our government doesn't. So.

Of course, we're speaking as if there's only one Batman.

Posted by: moviegique at July 22, 2016 08:49 PM (7zeA4)

342 'Honestly, I think if anyone wants to be President, they should immediately be disqualified from every being
president. The same could be said for every elected office.'

If they would just serve and go home instead of making it a career that would be just dandy.

Posted by: freaked at July 22, 2016 08:51 PM (BO/km)

343
'Some men are just decent.'

Wired that way or trained that way? Or some of both?

The comics make a point of how his parents raised him with a strong sense of (rather traditional) morals. In a sense he's the ultimate assimilated immigrant, who loves his adopted homeland/homeworld with a fervor natives have difficulty matching, but (at least 1985 until recently) it was definitely because of the character his adopted folks instilled in him.

It's one of the reasons Man of Steel failed so, so hard. The Pa Costner was just a horrible take on the character. They just got the basics wrong and nothing made sense as a result.

Posted by: Brother Cavil, That Guy at July 22, 2016 08:52 PM (vyqqu)

344 #339, you want a comic property that would do very well produced by the AoSHQ Moron Horde?

Lobo. Specifically either "The Lobo Paramilitary Christmas Special" or the four issue series where Lobo invaded Heaven.

Posted by: Colonel Kurtz at July 22, 2016 08:58 PM (SSiqh)

345 It's one of the reasons Man of Steel failed so, so hard. The Pa Costner was just a horrible take on the character. They just got the basics wrong and nothing made sense as a result.
Posted by: Brother Cavil, That Guy at July 22, 2016 08:52 PM (vyqqu)

Exactly. If you cannot get the character right, nothing works because the entire world stems from that character, you see the world through their eye in a superhero movie, you are encouraged to put yourself in his shoes.

If no one can figure out who the hell you are trying to be, it makes that hard.

Posted by: Aetius451AD at July 22, 2016 09:02 PM (3ZoRf)

346 Ace you are so infatuated with Ben Affleck !
Do you envy Peter Thiel's heroic speech at the RNC ?

Posted by: NO criminal charges at July 22, 2016 09:07 PM (cO2VB)

347 I'll tell you one thing I really liked about Man of Steel, and that was Amy Adams as Lois Lane. She has the toughness, the grit, to play Lois, unlike her most recent predecessor Kate Bosworth, who's just too soft and girly.

Posted by: Prothonotary Warbler... Ask not for whom The Donald Trumps. at July 22, 2016 09:18 PM (0OG8D)

348 "How do you find a woman who is both Lynda Carter and Rhonda Roussey at the same time?"

Easy: Gina Carano.

"Wonder Woman herself is Greek"

Wonder woman is Greek like Thor is Danish.

Posted by: jic at July 22, 2016 09:20 PM (RmRPN)

349
Wonder woman is Greek like Thor is Danish.

--
Thor to s Danish?
No wonder he's so yummy.

Posted by: @votermom at July 22, 2016 09:23 PM (7lVbc)

350 #348: Gina Carano is of Italian descent, and Italy at least borders on Greece. She's Mediterranean, and that's close enough, IMO.

Posted by: Prothonotary Warbler... Ask not for whom The Donald Trumps. at July 22, 2016 09:27 PM (0OG8D)

351 Also, JIC, see my comment at #243. Great minds think alike, huh?

Posted by: Prothonotary Warbler... Ask not for whom The Donald Trumps. at July 22, 2016 09:32 PM (0OG8D)

352 A movie review thread!! It's real and it's spectacular!!

*clings thread to my bosom*

Posted by: LizLem at July 22, 2016 09:43 PM (KK7mJ)

353 A.) I can't believe I watched the whole thing, the version with the 30 extra minutes no less.

2.) I can't believe I read the whole thing, but, well, you know, Ace movie review. Gotta read it all.

Of the two, reading the review was definitely much less of a waste of time than watching that dreadful movie.

Posted by: mindful webworker - strange visitor from another planet at July 22, 2016 10:03 PM (5a8XA)

354 I saw Batman vs Superman about a week after I saw Captain America, Civil War.

So naturally, I was very disappointed with the Batman flic. Marvel seems to be able to a much better job with their properties that D.C. does.

Posted by: Natrium at July 22, 2016 10:10 PM (Oy2Gd)

355 There are two things that I remember from this movie: the doofus pointing a gun a Lois' head and telling Superman not to move - doofus meet wall. The second is, of course, do not piss off The Bat. The Bat will hurt you in so many ways.

Posted by: IsMishe at July 22, 2016 10:37 PM (2WiEX)

356 I had similar feelings about this one. Where I disagree with Ace is Eisenberg's Luthor. It was horrible. Just an utter, neurotic mess.

See the problem these days is that inferior actors see the praise heaped upon Heath Ledger for his Joker portrayal and the praise heaped upon Johnny Depp for his Jack Sparrow portrayal and they think, "Hey, the way I can generate a memorable, praise-worthy performance is to make my character a weirdo with spastic physical tics!"

What these idiots don't understand is that it only works if the character would believably act that way. If you're playing a drunk, 17th century Caribbean pirate or a psychopathic clown then sure, ham it up. But a ruthless, genius billionaire terrorist like Luthor? It doesn't make sense for the character. He should be cold, calculating, always in control of himself and his surroundings.

I had the same complaint about the new Ghostbusters. It was awful by the way. A comedy that made me chuckle exactly twice. But Kate McKinnon who plays the blonde one that everyone has been meme-ing, she mugging for the camera like she's in an old episode of Pee Wee's Playhouse. Just fucking zany. So insanely off-beat that it's distracting.

Anyway, watch Batman V Superman. Do not watch Ghostbusters unless someone pays you $100.

Posted by: Lamont Cranston at July 23, 2016 12:39 AM (Rtyzj)

357

ace,

Have you noticed that Trump is like an advanced-aging Batman and there is no stupid "Superman" to oppose him? (There is certainly nothing super about the rotten Hildabeast or her debased and decrepit 'husband'.)

If Trump loses, it is because we have devolved into a country of sick Jokers.
- Plain and Simple.

And we'll deserve it.

Posted by: Testy Stoic Trumpublican at July 23, 2016 03:24 AM (AhiRu)

358 Holy shitsnacks, I thought I was the only one who remembered Ralph Snart!

Posted by: Filthy Scandi Snowbilly at July 23, 2016 07:41 AM (R/MfF)

359 Ace, I gotta say you're wrong with this one, just a bit.

To think that certain elements in the U.S. wouldn't wail and gnash teeth over Superman killing Tangos forgets what happened when U.S. Marines cleared a mosque in Fallujah back in 2004.

A Marine wasn't sure a bad guy was dead, so he made sure. The left and the media (but I repeat myself) wanted that kid's head on a platter.

Those with morals, those who believe in right & wrong, good & evil, those willing to fight evil, make a choice, take a stand...they represent everything the left hates.

Posted by: Hughmungus at July 23, 2016 07:50 AM (KtQKw)

360 I think the biggest weakness the movie had was that there was no proper build up for its Batman. I'm not talking about a redo of the origin story or anything but at least something to build up a rather different take on what is usually understood about Batman.

Posted by: Mr. Saturn at July 23, 2016 09:06 AM (sxk2h)

361 Speaking of silly stuff... It just came to me... In the middle of all that commotion... [Spoilers]

Who told Lois that they needed the Spear to kill Doomsday? You hear Batman, Wonder Woman and Batman talk about it. But I am 100% sure that Lois was nowhere near the trio when they mention it.

Posted by: CC at July 23, 2016 02:55 PM (G0zje)

362 Whoa! It would take less time to see the flick than to read this review.

Posted by: Bob at July 23, 2016 11:15 PM (E/U1b)

Processing 0.07, elapsed 0.0775 seconds.
14 queries taking 0.0255 seconds, 370 records returned.
Page size 202 kb.
Powered by Minx 0.8 beta.