Speculation Runs Wild as CERN's Atom-Smashing Supercollider Detects -- Maybe -- an Unknown and Unexpected New Particle

No seriously, you have to love it. It is now legally required to Love the Shit Out of Science.

The CERN collider is the atom-smasher that detected the Higgs Boson four years ago. The Higgs boson was important, as it had been suspected/predicted for years. Certain particles should be massless, and yet tests indicated they had mass. Physicists postulated a "Higgs field" that sometimes interacted with these particles and imparted mass to them.

The Higgs boson was less important of itself than it was of proof of the Higgs field.

But CERN kept smashing the smallest building blocks of the universe to see what might pop out. They've detected a particle (they think) that was not, like the Higgs field and Higgs boson, previously speculated and predicted by physicists.

This one seems to have just showed up the party uninvited.

I have to stress the scientists aren't all that sure they've really detected something other than the limits of experimental accuracy.

Still -- you must Love Science as a legal matter, and you are required to produce at least four (4) Science-Loving memes/gifs per year. So here's one to get you started.

The LHC’s Atlas and Compact Muon Solenoid particle detectors in December turned up preliminary readings that suggested a particle not accounted for by the Standard Model might exist at 750 Giga electron Volts. This mystery particle would be nearly four times more massive than the top quark, the most massive particle in the model, and six times more massive than the Higgs, CERN officials say.
The Standard Model has worked well, but has gaps notably about dark matter, which is believed to make up one-quarter of the mass of the universe. Theorists say the December results, if confirmed, could help elucidate that enigma; or it could signal a graviton -- a theorized first particle with gravity -- or another boson, even hint of a new dimension.

The graviton is speculated to be the particle that carries the force of gravity. All the other three fundamental forces have their own force-carrier particle associated with them; photons, for example, carry electromagnetic force in its guise as light. The graviton is speculated to carry gravity -- and therefore mass -- but this has never been proven or even really hinted by evidence (as far as I know). I think it just is postulated as something that should exist, to make gravity less of the One Of These Things Is Not Like the Others force it always has been.

I don't get the "new dimension" reference exactly, but string theory postulates that every "particle" is actually a string existing in 11 (or 15, or 20) dimensional space, all but three of those dimensions sub-nanoscopic and only existing on the tiniest of scales. The strings vibrate in their 11/15/20 dimensional spaces, and what we see as "particles" in our three-dimensional space are just the loops or ends of these strings vibrating in the dimensions we can see and experience.

I suppose the string theorists are speculating they may have glimpsed something that indicates the reality of one of these speculative phantom dimensions.

String theory has very few actual evidences behind it; it is now derided by many physicists as "just math," just speculative theory, completely unmoored from science with its evidence on observable phenomena, not just theories, and testable predictions, and, you know, proof.

But who knows, maybe this is some kind of indication in that direction.

More data is needed to iron those possibilities out, and even then, the December results could just be a blip. But with so much still unexplained, physicists say discoveries of new particles -- whether this year or later -- may be inevitable as colliders get more and more powerful.
Dave Charlton, who heads the Atlas team, said the December results could just be a "fluctuation" and "in that case, really for science, there’s not really any consequence ... At this point, you won’t find any experimentalist who will put any weight on this: We are all very largely expecting it to go away again."
"But if it stays around, it’s almost a new ball game," said Charlton, an experimental physicist at the University of Birmingham in Britain.

I should mention something about the Standard Model. It is one of the most relentlessly re-proven theories in all of science; almost all of its predictions get proven some day.

And yet, it is so ugly and weird and lacking in aesthetics that many people suspect it can't really be the final word on the matter. That's part of the reason people spend so much time with their heads in 11-dimensional space, trying to figure out a more beautiful version of fundamental physics.

If this particle is real, and wasn't predicted or hinted at by the Standard Model, the aesthetes of science will be very happy to find the very-useful-but-dreadfully-inelegant Standard Model needs to be updated.

Posted by: Ace at 12:58 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 The search for the Higgins Bosom.

Posted by: Grump928(C) says Free Soothie! at May 02, 2016 01:00 PM (rwI+c)

2 Did they discover the particle or did they create it?

(Random question to make it sound like I'm smaaaht)

Posted by: @votermom at May 02, 2016 01:00 PM (nbrY/)

3 and First!

Posted by: Grump928(C) says Free Soothie! at May 02, 2016 01:00 PM (rwI+c)

4 First?

Posted by: Barb the Evil Genius at May 02, 2016 01:01 PM (FQKBL)

5 I'll summon The Others.

Posted by: Grump928(C) says Free Soothie! at May 02, 2016 01:01 PM (rwI+c)

6 Barb, you are Rubio-First.

Posted by: @votermom at May 02, 2016 01:01 PM (nbrY/)

7 "When I'm elected President all gravitron deniers will be sent to the camps!"
*Huzzahs*

Posted by: Hilarity "Velma" Clinton at May 02, 2016 01:02 PM (k8tEg)

8 Darn. I will have to do some scientific studies to show that fourth is really first.

Posted by: Barb the Evil Genius at May 02, 2016 01:02 PM (FQKBL)

9 Quantum particles: the dreams that stuff is made of.

Posted by: Qoheleth at May 02, 2016 01:03 PM (iIzG7)

10 So, they have cleared the zombies out of CERN?

Posted by: Count de Monet at May 02, 2016 01:03 PM (JO9+V)

11 OT
My FTWD post is up.
Also a short review of Victor Frankenstein

Link in nic

Back to strange new gravitrons

Posted by: @votermom at May 02, 2016 01:03 PM (nbrY/)

12 I think it was probably just a weasel pellet.

Posted by: krakatoa at May 02, 2016 01:03 PM (RCS9o)

13 Darn. I will have to do some scientific studies to show that fourth is really first.
Posted by: Barb the Evil Genius at May 02, 2016 01:02 PM (FQKBL)

I'll peer review it.

Posted by: ReactionaryMonster Bravely supporting kittens at May 02, 2016 01:03 PM (1D4Ef)

14 This one seems to have just showed up the party uninvited

Hey CERN! Are you taking name suggestions? We nominate "the Trump particle"

Posted by: Republicans everywhere at May 02, 2016 01:04 PM (/m8T6)

15 >>>Did they discover the particle or did they create it?

(Random question to make it sound like I'm smaaaht)

...

i was wondering that myself. but i think physics at this level isn't just taxonomy; i think there are some things that CAN exist, and therefore MUST exist, and things that CAN'T exist, and therefore don't.

So even if you just "created" it, it would be interesting, because no one saw that this beastie COULD exist.

Posted by: ace at May 02, 2016 01:04 PM (dciA+)

16 Particle McParticleFace

Posted by: Count de Monet at May 02, 2016 01:04 PM (JO9+V)

17 Reproducability!

It's not just for horny animals (and plants) any more.

SCIENCE!

Posted by: filbert at May 02, 2016 01:05 PM (s5o+q)

18 Um, thanks, @votermom? Somewhat on topic, youngest daughter has been taught that physics is difficult, and is losing all interest math thanks to her math teacher. Go girls in STEM!

Posted by: Barb the Evil Genius at May 02, 2016 01:05 PM (FQKBL)

19 But CERN kept smashing the smallest building blocks of the universe to see what might pop out.

Sounds like too much Chipotle.

Posted by: Tex Lovera at May 02, 2016 01:05 PM (wtvvX)

20 This is the level of theory where I can read the words but not evaluate the substance. I'm happy for team science though.

And I shall love it sexually.

*reaches for lube*

Posted by: Bandersnatch at May 02, 2016 01:05 PM (1xUj/)

21 Ummmm..... hasnt M Theory pretty much displaced String Theory as the cool kid theory of particle physics??

Posted by: fixerupper at May 02, 2016 01:06 PM (8XRCm)

22

But CERN kept smashing the smallest building blocks of the universe to see what might pop out.

See, this is actual Science that I love.

Hey, let's smash this stuff together and see what happens next!

Which is all well and good until the Old Ones are awoken but *whateverhands*.

Posted by: alexthechick - Banderette at May 02, 2016 01:06 PM (mf5HN)

23 At 750 GeV, you're looking at a particle that doesn't exist in nature, and decays in billionths of a second after its artificial creation.

You know, sort of the same way the Federal Reserve creates money.

Posted by: Qoheleth at May 02, 2016 01:06 PM (iIzG7)

24 The other year when they "detected" the Higgs Boson, it came in with an energy level that didn't match the two main theories of what it should of had.

They were hoping that when the final upgrades to the Large Hadron Collider were put in place that it would finally put out the "right" energy value .. but it didn't.

Posted by: French physician and Freemason Dr Joseph-Ignace Guillotin at May 02, 2016 01:07 PM (e8kgV)

25 When you study this particle be sure to whistle and only look sideways at it. If it knows you're studying it, that changes how it acts and it'll just put on a show.

Posted by: Werner Heisenberg at May 02, 2016 01:07 PM (/m8T6)

26
While they're smashing things, can they smash the liberal stupidity particle? Smash is right out of existence

Posted by: TheQuietMan at May 02, 2016 01:07 PM (493sH)

27 I will wait for noted man of science, Neil deGrasse Tyson, to weigh in on this to tell me if the particle is a planet or not.

Posted by: Count de Monet at May 02, 2016 01:07 PM (JO9+V)

28 It is now legally required to Love the Shit Out of Science.

But only correct Science, of course.

Posted by: Bill Nye, the (self-identified) Science Guy at May 02, 2016 01:08 PM (OF/aZ)

29 Hey CERN! Are you taking name suggestions? We nominate "the Trump particle"

It's more creative than Higgs Other Boson.

Posted by: DaveA at May 02, 2016 01:08 PM (DL2i+)

30 It's certainly good that ... the science is settled ... or chaos would have occurred.

Posted by: French physician and Freemason Dr Joseph-Ignace Guillotin at May 02, 2016 01:08 PM (e8kgV)

31 Mrs. Sakamoto, you're beautiful.

Posted by: General Zod at May 02, 2016 01:09 PM (Bdeb0)

32 Uh, I thought it detected a weasel that shored it out? Frankly, I dont think CERN nor the weasel saw what was coming.

Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at May 02, 2016 01:09 PM (iQIUe)

33 Poppycock.

Posted by: Sheldon Cooper at May 02, 2016 01:09 PM (HgMAr)

34 Screw particle physics!

Posted by: The Honey Badger Don't Care at May 02, 2016 01:09 PM (/m8T6)

35 I still blame CERN for our current insanity. The Large Hadron Collider first fired up Sept 10th, 2008. Coincidence? No.

Posted by: Grump928(C) says Free Soothie! at May 02, 2016 01:09 PM (rwI+c)

36 Hey CERN! Are you taking name suggestions? We nominate "the Trump particle"
---------------
It's more creative than Higgs Other Boson.
Posted by: DaveA at May 02, 2016 01:08 PM (DL2i+)

It's a YUGE discovery, and luxurious like you won't believe.

Posted by: ReactionaryMonster Bravely supporting kittens at May 02, 2016 01:09 PM (1D4Ef)

37 >>>an Unknown and Unexpected New Particle<<<

Soooo... the science isn't settled?!

I'm shocked... SHOCKED, I tell ya!

Posted by: Capt. Renault at May 02, 2016 01:09 PM (H9MG5)

38 As long as we can keep science out of the public restrooms, I'm okay with it.

Posted by: wooga at May 02, 2016 01:10 PM (Jq95F)

39 It's more creative than Higgs Other Boson.

What can I say? Mom liked me better.

Posted by: Higgs Boson at May 02, 2016 01:10 PM (1xUj/)

40 At 750 GeV,

Way past Eleventy!! on your arc welder.

Posted by: DaveA at May 02, 2016 01:10 PM (DL2i+)

41 the universe is a cookbook!

Posted by: x at May 02, 2016 01:11 PM (nFwvY)

42 So CERN has found Gaylord's college transcripts?

Posted by: Anna Puma at May 02, 2016 01:11 PM (ZCTRJ)

43 Until CERN can unlock the secret to building my flying car they are useless.

Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at May 02, 2016 01:11 PM (6qmBU)

44 Quick, do we have a scientific consensus on this new particle yet?

That's like, totes important to Loving Science.

Posted by: ReactionaryMonster Bravely supporting kittens at May 02, 2016 01:11 PM (1D4Ef)

45 In light of last week's events, I propose the new mystery particle be called a "weaselon".

Posted by: Blanco Basura at May 02, 2016 01:11 PM (YEelc)

46 CHAOS>>>CERN

Posted by: Tex Lovera at May 02, 2016 01:11 PM (wtvvX)

47 On Friday, the LHC was temporarily immobilized by a weasel, which invaded a transformer that helps power the machine and set off an electrical outage. CERN says it was one of a few small glitches that will delay by a few days plans to start the data collection at the $4.4 billion collider.

... it must be the infamous "Weasel Particle"

Posted by: Hoss Cartwright at May 02, 2016 01:11 PM (e8kgV)

48 Could I hold it in my arms for a minute?

Posted by: The Girl In Todays Art at May 02, 2016 01:11 PM (/m8T6)

49 One day, in the quest for knowledge, man may trigger a reaction that causes every known atom to become excited and 'explode'.....and maybe that's what the original 'big bang' was....the last set of 'intelligent' beings reaching the point at which they knew enough to be really dangerous.

BANG!!

Posted by: Orange Mule at May 02, 2016 01:11 PM (uXcD2)

50 I'm going to have to watch Farscape again in order to brush up on dark matter theories.

Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at May 02, 2016 01:12 PM (6qmBU)

51 In light of last week's events, I propose the new mystery particle be called a "weaselon".

Oh come on.

Every particle is some type of weaselon.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at May 02, 2016 01:12 PM (1xUj/)

52 High energy particle physics is actually a pretty weird endeavor.

I remember a couple of my physics teachers in college back in the '70's (several of whom worked on the Manhatten Project as young Grad students) kind of rolled their eyes at it, even though it was sometimes pretty profound.

It sorta works, but it is sorta weird. And costs a lot of money.

Posted by: Bossy Conservative...pondering the future at May 02, 2016 01:12 PM (RFeQD)

53 M-Wave, Superstring, dark matter...

"And they call us mythical." - Dragons everywhere.

Posted by: Anna Puma at May 02, 2016 01:13 PM (ZCTRJ)

54 I am hoping the scientist Dave Charlton who is in charge of the project gives an interview wearing a shirt with images of semi-nude women in erotic poses.

Posted by: Ripley at May 02, 2016 01:13 PM (1BQGO)

55 The particle was much louder, nastier, uglier and more massive than expected.

Therefore trigglyon.

Posted by: Tex Lovera at May 02, 2016 01:13 PM (wtvvX)

56 18 Um, thanks, @votermom? Somewhat on topic, youngest daughter has been taught that physics is difficult, and is losing all interest math thanks to her math teacher. Go girls in STEM!
Posted by: Barb the Evil Genius at May 02, 2016 01:05 PM (FQKBL)

My older D had trouble Physics at first but now she's ok with it. She hates Chemistry though. She's good at Math.

Younger D is not interested in either Science or Math.

Posted by: @votermom at May 02, 2016 01:13 PM (nbrY/)

57 They discovered the TrigglyPuff element?

That kind of density?

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at May 02, 2016 01:13 PM (ptqRm)

58 There was no clue about this particle? Then I think the implication is obvious. This particle could only be caused by.....GLOBAL WARMING.

Posted by: Al Emperor of Science Gore at May 02, 2016 01:13 PM (16OL0)

59 Science is for fags.

Posted by: Ernie McCracken at May 02, 2016 01:13 PM (5/ZSk)

60 Black radials have Higgs bosoms.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at May 02, 2016 01:14 PM (k4M/B)

61 Like Cern, the Trumps make you wear clean room shoe covers when you visit their apartment.

Maybe Melania is secretly a particle physicist?

http://tinyurl.com/gt7wk3z

Posted by: I'm How Weird Is That? at May 02, 2016 01:14 PM (/m8T6)

62 50 I'm going to have to watch Farscape again in order to brush up on dark matter theories.
Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at May 02, 2016 01:12 PM (6qmBU)

Any excuse to rewatch FarScape is good!

Posted by: @votermom at May 02, 2016 01:14 PM (nbrY/)

63 When will Science confront the most pressing question of our era, Mary Anne vs. Ginger? Not to dis CERN, but to settle, once and for all.

Posted by: Duncanthrax the Bellicose at May 02, 2016 01:14 PM (OF/aZ)

64
It's very windy at Port Carnarvel. It better die down by tomorrow 10:33 pm PST.

Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at May 02, 2016 01:14 PM (iQIUe)

65 Ummmm..... hasnt M Theory pretty much displaced String Theory as the cool kid theory of particle physics??
Posted by: fixerupper at May 02, 2016 01:06 PM (8XRCm)

Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm.

Posted by: Crash Test Dummies at May 02, 2016 01:14 PM (s5o+q)

66 Also, the trigglyon carries the douche force.

Posted by: Tex Lovera at May 02, 2016 01:15 PM (wtvvX)

67 Still -- you must Love Science as a legal matter,

So they're playing Barry White with the LHC.

Posted by: DaveA at May 02, 2016 01:15 PM (DL2i+)

68 Did they discover the particle or did they create it?

(Random question to make it sound like I'm smaaaht)

Posted by: @votermom at May 02, 2016 01:00 PM (nbrY/)

Random answer: Yes. My take on it; if the particle detected exists, and can be reproduced at will in future experiments, it was "created", but only because there is a possibility that such a particle could exist in nature.

In other words: there are X number of possible fundamental particles, including the ones we know well. The blanks on the list may be eventually filled in, but we cannot create particles that don't correspond to the blanks on the list. Problem is, we don't know that we have the right formula for the list. The Standard Model has worked pretty well up to now, but now there are doubts.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 02, 2016 01:15 PM (60Q+L)

69 One thing is abundantly clear: these scientists are on the verge of discovering something very important - and must therefor be funded with public money ad infinitum.

We don't want them to miss out on the "game changer."

Posted by: bkeyser at May 02, 2016 01:15 PM (l4B3N)

70 I keep telling Girlfriend of kari that my the girl she accuses me of seeing on the side is only observable at 750 Giga electron Volts, and is probably really just an artifact of vibrations from alternate dimensions, but she refuses to see reason.

Women, man! Too crazy!

Posted by: Ghost of kari - certified sidebar at May 02, 2016 01:15 PM (xuouz)

71 "Black radials have Higgs bosoms."

Giving a whole new meaning to "asymmetric paired quarks."

Posted by: Qoheleth at May 02, 2016 01:15 PM (iIzG7)

72 Particle?
Like what gets under your dentures?

Posted by: Granny Rodham at May 02, 2016 01:16 PM (QM5S2)

73 I am top Quark!

Posted by: Armin Shimerman at May 02, 2016 01:16 PM (k4M/B)

74 Subatomic physics if settled science so there shall not be any more research!

Posted by: Algore the Science Scold at May 02, 2016 01:16 PM (cgtTL)

75 Every particle is some type of weaselon.
Posted by: Bandersnatch at May 02, 2016 01:12 PM (1xUj/)

Stoaton.
Minkon.
Otteron.
Ferreton.

My God! You're RIGHT!

Posted by: filbert at May 02, 2016 01:16 PM (s5o+q)

76 Yeah, I tried to read that. Never been too science-smart. So then I got lost in memories of going to some good parties at Mizzou. Or was it Rolla? I dunno - are they the same? I blame the last thread. Carry on.

Posted by: grammie winger at May 02, 2016 01:16 PM (dFi94)

77 I'll let you know if and when science has happened here.

Posted by: Bill Nye, The Engineer Guy at May 02, 2016 01:16 PM (/m8T6)

78 But what if the particle self-identifies as a trans-particle?

Posted by: Anna Puma at May 02, 2016 01:16 PM (ZCTRJ)

79 "When will Science confront the most pressing question of our era, Mary
Anne vs. Ginger? Not to dis CERN, but to settle, once and for all."

The science is settled. Mary Ann.

Posted by: Qoheleth at May 02, 2016 01:16 PM (iIzG7)

80 I was told that would be no sub-atomic physics.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 02, 2016 01:17 PM (Z58Xa)

81 I propose a contest to name the new thingie.

;-)

Posted by: Weasel McWeasel Face at May 02, 2016 01:17 PM (nXeSu)

82 I was told that would be no sub-atomic physics.
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc.
-----------------

... or grammar checking.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 02, 2016 01:17 PM (Z58Xa)

83 >>Women, man! Too crazy!

They blind you. With science.

Posted by: General Zod at May 02, 2016 01:18 PM (Bdeb0)

84 >>>But CERN kept smashing the smallest building blocks of the universe to see what might pop out. <<<

Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether they could that they didn't stop to think if they should.

Then... "Ooh, ah," that's how it always starts. But then later there's running and screaming.

Posted by: Dr. Ian Malcolm at May 02, 2016 01:18 PM (H9MG5)

85 I propose a contest to name the new thingie.
Posted by: Weasel McWeasel Face at May 02, 2016 01:17 PM (nXeSu)

Adolf Hitler Particle for Friendship and Understanding

Posted by: Ghost of kari - certified sidebar at May 02, 2016 01:18 PM (xuouz)

86 In the Iron Man 2 novelization, the element created by Tony Stark to replace Palladium in the Arc Reactor is called Vibranium.

Wait what? That can't be right.

Posted by: RWC-Team BOHICA at May 02, 2016 01:18 PM (/CXhS)

87 As long as we can keep science out of the public restrooms, I'm okay with it.

Posted by: wooga at May 02, 2016 01:10 PM (Jq95F)

Target is trying to do that.

Posted by: Alberta Oil Peon at May 02, 2016 01:18 PM (60Q+L)

88 *pauses*

Continued CERN testing does create some odd particles that interact with the Earth's magnetic field and causes a sudden magnetic pole reversal.

Hello SyFy, have I got an idea for you...

Posted by: Anna Puma at May 02, 2016 01:19 PM (ZCTRJ)

89 Yeah, I tried to read that. Never been too science-smart. So then I got lost in memories of going to some good parties at Mizzou. Or was it Rolla? I dunno - are they the same? I blame the last thread. Carry on.
Posted by: grammie winger at May 02, 2016 01:16 PM (dFi94)

Rolla's full to the brim with engineer-nerds. With a helping heaping of ROTC-types, too, I believe. I suspect it's still relatively sane, as modern American state universities go.

Mizzou-Columbia is a train wreck which should be nuked from orbit, just to be sure.

Posted by: filbert at May 02, 2016 01:19 PM (s5o+q)

90 So if all of this is true (granted, I do not know what THIS is), what happens because of it? Does something change? Will I get better gas mileage? Whiter teeth? Something should change, right?

Posted by: grammie winger at May 02, 2016 01:19 PM (dFi94)

91 So if all of this is true (granted, I do not know what THIS is), what happens because of it? Does something change? Will I get better gas mileage? Whiter teeth? Something should change, right?

Posted by: grammie winger at May 02, 2016 01:19 PM (dFi94)

The math for Obamacare will finally work.

Posted by: filbert at May 02, 2016 01:19 PM (s5o+q)

92 They have the muon why not the moron.

Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at May 02, 2016 01:20 PM (6qmBU)

93 Posted by: filbert at May 02, 2016 01:19 PM (s5o+q)
=====================================

Yeah, I think it was Rolla. Shy guys with bad fashion sense.

Posted by: grammie winger at May 02, 2016 01:20 PM (dFi94)

94 So this particle has the Mu-on with CERN? If you're playing Barry White...

Posted by: Anna Puma at May 02, 2016 01:21 PM (ZCTRJ)

95 Does this affect the price of tea in China or whiskey in Ireland?

Posted by: CrustyB at May 02, 2016 01:21 PM (GvSpB)

96 They discovered this particle at 4:21. Dude.

Posted by: Roy at May 02, 2016 01:21 PM (VndSC)

97 White scientist experiments = Total Bullshit

Call it the "Check Your Privledge Partical"

Posted by: Mizzu Admin at May 02, 2016 01:21 PM (viHRI)

98 CERN needs space to smash.

Posted by: Stephanie Rawlings-Blake at May 02, 2016 01:21 PM (k4M/B)

99 They have the muon why not the moron.
Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at May 02, 2016 01:20 PM (6qmBU)

We don't get no respect.

Posted by: cows at May 02, 2016 01:21 PM (s5o+q)

100 all but three of those dimensions sub-nanoscopic and only existing on the tiniest of scales.

---

You should see how big my hands are in some of those other dimensions

Posted by: TRUMP at May 02, 2016 01:22 PM (PNcou)

101 This particle is like an honest answer from Hillary Clinton. It is theoretically possible but to prove it would take years, billions of dollars and the best equipment our best minds could concoct.

Posted by: JB1000 at May 02, 2016 01:22 PM (16OL0)

102 Yeah, I think it was Rolla. Shy guys with bad fashion sense.
Posted by: grammie winger at May 02, 2016 01:20 PM (dFi94)

Yep. Engineers.

Posted by: cows at May 02, 2016 01:22 PM (s5o+q)

103 Science and shit...

This is just like the New York Times. I feel smarter already.

Posted by: jwest at May 02, 2016 01:22 PM (Zs4uk)

104 "They have the muon why not the moron."

OBJECTION! Naming this new particle the "moron" will create problems once different types of these particles and their antiparticles are discovered. Do we really want to engage in a conversation about who is a Top Moron and who is a Bottom Moron? Or a Strange Moron? Or an Antimoron?

I rest my case.

Posted by: Qoheleth at May 02, 2016 01:23 PM (iIzG7)

105 Hey, I loved the shit out of science BEFORE you made me love it.

I am an early adopter of shit-worthy things, you know.

Posted by: Malignantly aggrieved and economically useless at May 02, 2016 01:23 PM (3ZttN)

106 Bovine socks.

BOVINE SOCKS, I SAY!

Posted by: filbert at May 02, 2016 01:23 PM (s5o+q)

107 I propose a contest to name the new thingie.

Posted by: Weasel McWeasel Face at May 02, 2016 01:17 PM (nXeSu)

============================================

Equitable Justice Awareness Cake Baking Particle of Pureness.

Posted by: grammie winger at May 02, 2016 01:23 PM (dFi94)

108 I may have left some particles in my pants after burrito night.

Posted by: Granny Rodham at May 02, 2016 01:23 PM (QM5S2)

109 This stinks of smart guy White Privilege.

Posted by: tu3031 at May 02, 2016 01:23 PM (YFFpo)

110 "Something should change, right?"

If something lasts longer then four hours contact your doctor immediately.

Maybe that's what they're trying for.

Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at May 02, 2016 01:23 PM (ptqRm)

111 OBJECTION! Naming this new particle the "moron" will create problems once different types of these particles and their antiparticles are discovered. Do we really want to engage in a conversation about who is a Top Moron and who is a Bottom Moron? Or a Strange Moron? Or an Antimoron?

I rest my case.
Posted by: Qoheleth at May 02, 2016 01:23 PM (iIzG7)

Oh, dear.

And we all know there's no such thing as a Charm Moron, is there?

Posted by: filbert at May 02, 2016 01:24 PM (s5o+q)

112 Lucky Charm Moron?

Posted by: Anna Puma at May 02, 2016 01:24 PM (ZCTRJ)

113 ... the element created by Tony Stark to replace Palladium in the Arc Reactor is called Vibranium.
Posted by: RWC-Team BOHICA at May 02, 2016 01:18 PM

Any idea when this will be commercialized? Asking for a friend.

Posted by: Huma at May 02, 2016 01:24 PM (OF/aZ)

114 Anything that finally salys quantum mechanics is fine with me.

Posted by: Buzzsaw90 at May 02, 2016 01:24 PM (PNcou)

115 O/T: Confessions of a paid Internet Troll for Clinton. Link in sig.

Posted by: Emile Antoon Khadaji at May 02, 2016 01:24 PM (rvzMR)

116 >>>The LHC's Atlas and Compact Muon Solenoid particle detectors<<<

The ace.muon.nu Solenoid Particle Detector can detect black diamonds, unseen anywhere else.

Posted by: Large Hamster Collider at May 02, 2016 01:25 PM (H9MG5)

117 I may have left some particles in my pants after burrito night.
Posted by: Granny Rodham at May 02, 2016 01:23 PM (QM5S2)

You did. My burst detector went off.

Posted by: Huma at May 02, 2016 01:25 PM (s5o+q)

118 We no longer have "science" in the US. We have professional government grant seekers, which why you have so much BS about global warming. Most that hype however is a pack of lies created by the media and the government. There never was any 2,000 scientists who agreed with that UN global warming summery, which BTW, had nothing to do with the actual paper write up which was almost a 1,000 pages long.

Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at May 02, 2016 01:25 PM (vvmPQ)

119 Kaboom Moron

Posted by: Mizzu Admin at May 02, 2016 01:25 PM (viHRI)

120 And we all know there's no such thing as a Charm Moron, is there?

The 'ettes have a certain charm. Other than that...

Posted by: Blanco Basura at May 02, 2016 01:25 PM (YEelc)

121 One day, in the quest for knowledge, man may trigger a reaction that causes every known atom to become excited and 'explode'.....and maybe that's what the original 'big bang' was....the last set of 'intelligent' beings reaching the point at which they knew enough to be really dangerous.

BANG!!

Posted by: Orange Mule at May 02, 2016 01:11 PM (uXcD2)

The taunting, always with the taunting.

Oh speaking of taunting *sucks orangesicle shake*

Posted by: alexthechick - Banderette at May 02, 2016 01:26 PM (mf5HN)

122 if you really want to smash some particles, just really piss of CERN

Posted by: Bruce Banner at May 02, 2016 01:26 PM (PNcou)

123 "And we all know there's no such thing as a Charm Moron, is there?"

Let's just say I predict it will be discovered ten minutes after they discover the Skittle-Shitting Unicorn.

Posted by: Qoheleth at May 02, 2016 01:26 PM (iIzG7)

124 Lucky Charm Moron?
Posted by: Anna Puma at May 02, 2016 01:24 PM (ZCTRJ)

Instantly annihilated by the Kaboom Moron, I'm afraid.

Posted by: Huma at May 02, 2016 01:26 PM (s5o+q)

125 According to Quantum Mechanics, the correct answer to the Ginger vs. Mary Anne question is both simultaneously

Posted by: Ernie McCracken at May 02, 2016 01:26 PM (5/ZSk)

126
I propose a contest to name the new thingie.

Posted by: Weasel McWeasel Face at May 02, 2016 01:17 PM (nXeSu)
---------------------

Particley McParticle-face

Posted by: iforgot at May 02, 2016 01:26 PM (pC96u)

127 I collected a bucket full of gravitons, left it by the back door, and the next morning all that was left was a hole in the ground.

Posted by: Vashta Nerada at May 02, 2016 01:26 PM (Qvgg/)

128 The 'ettes have a certain charm. Other than that...
Posted by: Blanco Basura at May 02, 2016 01:25 PM (YEelc)

I figured I was courting trouble by posting that. Trouble is I figured it just after hitting "post."

Posted by: Huma at May 02, 2016 01:27 PM (s5o+q)

129 Since this is a science thread, it may be time to repost the takedown of DeGrasse Tyson - link in nic, and pretty funny

Posted by: GregV61 at May 02, 2016 01:27 PM (H0lcY)

130 Wait, I thought science was a product of racism and colonialism. Does that mean I must legally love the shit out of racism and colonialism? Because I've been sitting on some great] ideas...

Posted by: First-Rate Political Hack at May 02, 2016 01:27 PM (F6RKd)

131 25 When you study this particle be sure to whistle and only look sideways at it. If it knows you're studying it, that changes how it acts and it'll just put on a show.
Posted by: Werner Heisenberg at May 02, 2016 01:07 PM (/m8T6)

----------------

That's actually not a bad description of particle physics. And it's certainly true of electrons.

Posted by: Soona at May 02, 2016 01:27 PM (Fmupd)

132 Do we know if any of the White Male Scientists was wearing an SJW forbidden shirt when they made the discovery?

Posted by: JB1000 at May 02, 2016 01:27 PM (16OL0)

133 White House Releases Video Of Obama Saying 'Fuck You, Chuck Todd'

Classy through and through

Posted by: RWC-Team BOHICA at May 02, 2016 01:27 PM (/CXhS)

134 I only have partial sock control today, I'm afraid.

I should get back to what I'm supposed to be doing.

Later, all . . .

Posted by: filbert at May 02, 2016 01:28 PM (s5o+q)

135 Actually according to physics, you are not drinking a shake; your fields are merely interacting with other fields, absorbing those fields.

Posted by: Anna Puma at May 02, 2016 01:28 PM (ZCTRJ)

136 At 750 GeV, you're looking at a particle that doesn't exist in nature, and decays in billionths of a second after its artificial creation.

---

So it's just like your wife's appreciation for that orgasm

Posted by: Bruce Banner at May 02, 2016 01:28 PM (PNcou)

137 I love science so sexually that I don't get mad when it does that thing in my mouth it says it won't do.

Posted by: Neil deGrassey Tyson at May 02, 2016 01:28 PM (LYCUN)

138 Oh speaking of taunting *sucks orangesicle shake*

Posted by: alexthechick

Bunk

Posted by: Bandersnatch at May 02, 2016 01:28 PM (1xUj/)

139 "Mary Anne vs. Ginger?"

Mary Anne. Ginger too fragile.

Posted by: Worf at May 02, 2016 01:28 PM (Bbcs8)

140

And we all know there's no such thing as a Charm Moron, is there?
Posted by: filbert at May 02, 2016 01:24 PM (s5o+q)

Heh.

Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at May 02, 2016 01:29 PM (6qmBU)

141 "One day, in the quest for knowledge, man may trigger a reaction that causes every known atom to become excited and 'explode'.....and maybe that's what the original 'big bang' was....the last set of 'intelligent' beings reaching the point at which they knew enough to be really dangerous."

Wait 'till we discover the truth behind black holes -- that they're nothing more than Slartibartfast's "factory seconds."

Posted by: Qoheleth at May 02, 2016 01:29 PM (iIzG7)

142 The people at CERN are real scientists, the Climate Change crowd not so much. IIRC it was four or five years ago that some CERN scientists were bored and started to look at global warming. They posited that when cosmic rays -- which are actually subatomic particles -- hit the oceans (and they do all the time) they kicked up more water vapor, which increased cloud cover which would have a measurable effect on climate variations over 20 to 30 year periods, given the variations in cosmic rays put out by the Sun over 20 to 30 year periods. Last I heard they were trying to prove this in their lab.

Posted by: Ignoramus at May 02, 2016 01:29 PM (r1fLd)

143 How much more evidence of global warming do you people need?

Posted by: M. Mann PhD at May 02, 2016 01:30 PM (PNcou)

144 Particle physics is just White Supremacy imposing its White Privilege on the Other.

Was this particle discovered by a transqueer? No -- it was discovered by a bunch of cis straights.

Was this particle discovered by a woman? No -- it was discovered by dudes with cocks.

Was this particle discovered by an African-American, or other individual with non-American but otherwise African ancestry? No -- bunch of goddamn white Europeans 'n' shit.

Was this particle discovered by the Proudly Fat and the Morbidly Tubby? No -- in the photos, all the scientists appear to be pretty much cis-weight.

Was this particle discovered by the Differently Abled? Well, maybe some Asperger's in there, but otherwise -- nope.

What does this all add up to?

THIS NEW PARTICLE IS A TOOL OF OPPRESSIVE PATRIARCHY AND WHITE SUPREMACY, and as such should be condemned by the New Lysenkoism into nonexistence.

Posted by: zombie at May 02, 2016 01:30 PM (jBuUi)

145 If you see this particle, do not approach it and contact the authorities immediately.

Posted by: eman at May 02, 2016 01:30 PM (mR7Es)

146 So, this like a big deal or something?

Posted by: Ricardo Kill at May 02, 2016 01:30 PM (LA7Cm)

147 Me love science long time. 5 dolla- make you holla!

Posted by: Gender Ambiguous Thai Performance Artist at May 02, 2016 01:31 PM (9eYoy)

148 According to Einstein's Theory of Relatives, the probability of in-laws visiting you is directly proportional to your desire to be left alone.

Posted by: Duncanthrax the Bellicose at May 02, 2016 01:31 PM (OF/aZ)

149 I want science to explain the true mysteries of the universe, like why Hillary is considered a presidential candidate and Kerry is considered to be a statesman.

Posted by: azjaeger at May 02, 2016 01:32 PM (CpDB3)

150 36 Hey CERN! Are you taking name suggestions? We nominate "the Trump particle"

---

scientists are baffled by it's behavior. It only inteacts with much younger particles.

Posted by: AP at May 02, 2016 01:32 PM (PNcou)

151 According to Quantum Mechanics, the correct answer to the Ginger vs. Mary Anne question is both simultaneously
Posted by: Ernie McCracken at May 02, 2016 01:26 PM (5/ZSk)

As previously noted, I do so love Science.

Posted by: alexthechick - Banderette at May 02, 2016 01:32 PM (mf5HN)

152 144 --- I think Zombie has nailed it.
Thus I propose the particle be named the h8on.
And then relegate all mention of it into the memory hole.

Posted by: Margarita DeVille at May 02, 2016 01:33 PM (T/5A0)

153 So, should I see this movie or not?

Posted by: Cheri at May 02, 2016 01:33 PM (oiNtH)

154 The first time I heard about string theory was a long a worshiping article in Discovery Magazine which I used to get. When I read it my first thought was "sounds like a load of BS to me".

But then again, the first time I heard about anti-matter (besides star trek) was in school and my first thought there was hey, is Star Trek real? But then I saw photos of the anti-matter tracks and subsequent annihilation in cloud chamber in a Nuclear Physics textbook.

Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at May 02, 2016 01:33 PM (vvmPQ)

155 I'm going to have to watch Farscape again in order to brush up on dark matter theories.

---

#DarkMatterMatters

Posted by: AP at May 02, 2016 01:34 PM (PNcou)

156 Isn't this the one that had a weasel get into and chew on a power cable?

Maybe it is detecting the ultimate particle of the weasel, the building block all politics?

Wait...Donald Trump is the Bearer of the Golden Scalp Weasel! Could this be a sign?

Posted by: *Mikey NTH - Hire Instigators, Inc. to Spice Up Your Formal Dinner! An Outrage Outlet subsidiary. at May 02, 2016 01:34 PM (hLRSq)

157 AlextheChick, check my post at #88.

Think we could sell it?

Posted by: Anna Puma at May 02, 2016 01:34 PM (ZCTRJ)

158 Another victory for Islamic science.

Posted by: President For Life, Barack The Magnificent at May 02, 2016 01:34 PM (/m8T6)

159 This one seems to have just showed up the party uninvited.

I hate when they do that!

Posted by: rickb223 at May 02, 2016 01:34 PM (Z65m4)

160 I'm thinking this new particle is just the opposite of the philosophical 'if a tree falls in the forest....'

It makes some kind of 'noise' until someone shows up to observe it.

Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at May 02, 2016 01:35 PM (6qmBU)

161 What's really bad is when a particle crashes a party and then won't leave.

Posted by: Anna Puma at May 02, 2016 01:35 PM (ZCTRJ)

162 Never mind.

Posted by: CERN Public Relations at May 02, 2016 01:35 PM (/m8T6)

163 66 Also, the trigglyon carries the douche force.

---
i LOLed

Posted by: AP at May 02, 2016 01:36 PM (PNcou)

164 It's the Triggertron particle! We're all doomed!

Posted by: Lincolntf at May 02, 2016 01:36 PM (2cS/G)

165 Those of you curious about String Theory might find the blog "Not Even Wrong"of interest.

Posted by: Hopeful at May 02, 2016 01:36 PM (5VvBx)

166 And yet, it is so ugly and weird and lacking in aesthetics that many people suspect it can't really be the final word on the matter.

Why do they assume that the universe has to be beautiful and elegant? Couldn't God have just kludged it together if He wanted to?

Posted by: rickl at May 02, 2016 01:36 PM (zoehZ)

167 It was the best of times, it was the blorst of times ...

Posted by: Grump928(c) says Free Soothie!, with purchase of commentor of equal or greater value at May 02, 2016 01:36 PM (evdj2)

168 Also, the trigglyon carries the douche force.

This isn't the Summer's Eve you are looking for.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 02, 2016 01:37 PM (Z65m4)

169 It must be the Higgs Bodaughter

Posted by: Melissa Click at May 02, 2016 01:37 PM (e8kgV)

170 This is what happen when you use the supercollider to trim your toenails.

Posted by: Sgt Hulka's Big Toe at May 02, 2016 01:37 PM (9eYoy)

171 There exists a universe in which I would release my transcripts and you would be amazed at how great they are!

Posted by: President For Life Barack The Magnificent at May 02, 2016 01:37 PM (/m8T6)

172 God doesn't play with dice.

Posted by: Einstein at May 02, 2016 01:37 PM (vvmPQ)

173 I is NOT a planet

Posted by: Neil De Asse Tyson at May 02, 2016 01:37 PM (PNcou)

174 At this point, Earth getting obliterated by a hyperspace bypass is rapidly approaching being a good thing.

So be on the lookout for dolphins doing intricate routines and mice in little plastic balls.

Posted by: Anna Puma at May 02, 2016 01:38 PM (ZCTRJ)

175 Couldn't God have just kludged it together if He wanted to?

Posted by: rickl at May 02, 2016 01:36 PM (zoehZ)

I sure don't see why not.

Posted by: George Lucas at May 02, 2016 01:38 PM (60Q+L)

176 scientists are baffled by it's behavior. It only inteacts with much younger particles.

It's also rather stumpy.

Posted by: Scientists at May 02, 2016 01:38 PM (evdj2)

177 Questions we need to ask Presidential candidates:

What is your plan to deal with a Higgs Boson disaster ?

Posted by: William Henry Harrison at May 02, 2016 01:38 PM (e8kgV)

178 *pauses*

Continued CERN testing does create some odd particles that interact with the Earth's magnetic field and causes a sudden magnetic pole reversal.

Hello SyFy, have I got an idea for you...
Posted by: Anna Puma at May 02, 2016 01:19 PM (ZCTRJ)

Oh there've been a couple of SciFi movies about that.

Posted by: alexthechick - Banderette at May 02, 2016 01:38 PM (mf5HN)

179
Those of you curious about String Theory might find the blog "Not Even Wrong"of interest.>>>

Is it a how to book on crochet?

Posted by: Buzzsaw at May 02, 2016 01:39 PM (tf9Ne)

180 I suppose the string theorists are speculating they may have glimpsed
something that indicates the reality of one of these speculative phantom
dimensions.
========

Mom! Dad! It's EVIL! Don't touch it!

Posted by: Little Whit Kid Who Hung Out With Little Time Bandits at May 02, 2016 01:39 PM (JBggj)

181 "When will Science confront the most pressing question of our era, Mary Anne vs. Ginger? Not to dis CERN, but to settle, once and for all."

----

You must think outside the box

Ginger + Mary Ann threeway

Posted by: Neil De Asse Tyson at May 02, 2016 01:39 PM (PNcou)

182 Maybe it's looking for a transgender bathroom

Posted by: SJW at May 02, 2016 01:39 PM (e8kgV)

183 When will Science confront the most pressing question of our era, Mary Anne vs. Ginger?

---

Just Fuck You in your face

Posted by: Lovey Howell at May 02, 2016 01:39 PM (PNcou)

184 Screw String Theory! I'm into Yarn Science!

Posted by: Grandma at May 02, 2016 01:40 PM (2cS/G)

185 Come on....they just had a rat chewing on the wires.

Posted by: torabora at May 02, 2016 01:40 PM (HwImt)

186 AlextheChick, they have? Oh darn..,

How about PRC reactor at a sea fort leaks, gets in with the sea life, add some Miracle Grow... and voila giant radioactive crab attacking Hong Kong.

Posted by: Anna Puma at May 02, 2016 01:41 PM (ZCTRJ)

187 Perhaps, the new particle is actually a Higgs Boson that is trying to hide until Barack Obama leaves office.

Posted by: Bill Clinton and the Blowjobs at May 02, 2016 01:41 PM (e8kgV)

188 Come on....they just had a rat chewing on the wires.>>>

I think I read it was a weasel.

Posted by: Buzzsaw at May 02, 2016 01:41 PM (tf9Ne)

189 185 Come on....they just had a rat chewing on the wires.
Posted by: torabora

Or a piece of paper stuck in the alarm bell, a la Andromeda Strain.

Posted by: zombie at May 02, 2016 01:41 PM (jBuUi)

190 Yes it is true! Dr. Rochester, the lead investigator at CERN, has been keeping this particle in his attic for years. We've been feeding it secretly and trying to keep it from wandering the halls after everyone has gone ot sleep.

Posted by: Jane Eyre, CERN PR Officer at May 02, 2016 01:41 PM (/m8T6)

191 It's a particle willing to do the jobs that American particles just won't do any more.

Posted by: Grandma at May 02, 2016 01:42 PM (2cS/G)

192 Graviton?

Is that a new species of gavoid?

Posted by: Skandia Recluse at May 02, 2016 01:42 PM (5SCZ4)

193 Sock off.

Posted by: Lincolntf at May 02, 2016 01:42 PM (2cS/G)

194 IT'S GOT TO BE THE STUPID PARTICLE1
Only a Stupid Particle can explain Democrats.

Posted by: torabora at May 02, 2016 01:43 PM (HwImt)

195 You people don't understand particles at all.

That's just not the way it works at all.

Posted by: eleven at May 02, 2016 01:43 PM (qUNWi)

196 Hmmm... if it fits withString Theory... call it the Tampon.

Posted by: already denouncing myself for this comment at May 02, 2016 01:43 PM (H9MG5)

197 Pattern-wise, one lands, then two, making groups of threes joined magnetically. Is that possible?

Dr Clayton Forrester: If they do it, it is.

Posted by: I'm not Mr Science or even an actor playing Mr Science at May 02, 2016 01:44 PM (e8kgV)

198 Tamponium is to Supergirl what Kryptonite is to Superman.

Posted by: Lincolntf at May 02, 2016 01:45 PM (2cS/G)

199 Too bad the Martians never believed in vaccinations...

Posted by: Anna Puma at May 02, 2016 01:45 PM (ZCTRJ)

200 I've got just one word for you.

Quarknado.

Posted by: Qoheleth at May 02, 2016 01:45 PM (iIzG7)

201 Why do they assume that the universe has to be beautiful and elegant? Couldn't God have just kludged it together if He wanted to?
Posted by: rickl at May 02, 2016 01:36 PM (zoehZ)

-----------------

If we knew everything about the universe, the theory and it's attendant sciences would probably be most beautiful. But we're trying to solve the ultimate puzzle with only a very small fraction of information. Until then it'll only look like a common core math problem.

Posted by: Soona at May 02, 2016 01:45 PM (Fmupd)

202 How about PRC reactor at a sea fort leaks, gets in with the sea life, add some Miracle Grow... and voila giant radioactive crab attacking Hong Kong.

Posted by: Anna Puma at May 02, 2016 01:41 PM (ZCTRJ)

Attack of the Crab Monsters - 1957

Scientists become trapped on a shrinking island with intelligent, brain-eating, giant crabs.

Posted by: RWC-Team BOHICA at May 02, 2016 01:46 PM (/CXhS)

203 What if it turns out that God, instead of being really gigantic, as we have always thought, or some dude in the sky with a white beard, is actually really really little, one trillionth the size of the tiniest quark, and is hiding down there and has to keep running away every time we turn on the Large Hadron Collider, so we don't get a glimpse of Xim?

LEAVE GOD ALONE!

Posted by: zombie at May 02, 2016 01:46 PM (jBuUi)

204 BTW, I dropped that subscription to Discover Magazine when they joined the AGW brigade.

Posted by: Vic We Have No Party at May 02, 2016 01:46 PM (vvmPQ)

205 Perhaps, the new particle is actually a Higgs Boson that is trying to hide until Barack Obama leaves office.

It self identifies as a different particle.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 02, 2016 01:46 PM (Z65m4)

206 200 I've got just one word for you.

Quarknado
----------------------------------------------

ooohh, good one!

Posted by: Tara Reid at May 02, 2016 01:47 PM (/m8T6)

207 What the hell is a Giga electron Volt?!?

Posted by: Marty McFly at May 02, 2016 01:47 PM (eytER)

208 RWC so that is where Half-Life stole their headcrab idea?

Posted by: Anna Puma at May 02, 2016 01:47 PM (ZCTRJ)

209 Four outcomes:

1. They find the 95% of the universe they can't.

2. They don't.

3. The "new" particle kills us more quickly than normal mortality, you know, all at once.

4. The aliens that built the intergalatic kegger house around KIC 8462852 are going to invade and kill us more quickly than normal mortality because we put all our planetary defense eggs in the Jeff Goldblum basket.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at May 02, 2016 01:47 PM (659DL)

210 and is hiding down there and has to keep running away every time we turn on the Large Hadron Collider, so we don't get a glimpse of Xim?
LEAVE GOD ALONE!
Posted by: zombie at May 02, 2016 01:46 PM (jBuUi)

WHAT HAVE I DONE. GOOD ME WHAT HAVE I DONE.

*God, shrinkifying himself yet again, oblivious to the fact that he's trying to hide from those masters of hiding things, the Swiss*

Posted by: Ghost of kari - certified sidebar at May 02, 2016 01:48 PM (xuouz)

211 What the hell is a Giga electron Volt?!?

2nd gen plug in Chevy car.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 02, 2016 01:48 PM (Z65m4)

212 OT
Test scores in Detroit schools on the rise
Or
"Most Detroit schools closed by teacher sickout"

http://preview.tinyurl.com/gouruq4

Posted by: Buzzsaw at May 02, 2016 01:48 PM (tf9Ne)

213 The aliens that built the intergalatic kegger house around KIC 8462852 are going to invade and kill us more quickly than normal mortality because we put all our planetary defense eggs in the Jeff Goldblum basket.
Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at May 02, 2016 01:47 PM (659DL)

The Orbital Gauss Cannon Defense Grid, uh, finds a way.

Posted by: Ghost of kari - certified sidebar at May 02, 2016 01:49 PM (xuouz)

214 Be on the lookout for mr Strange Quark but approach with caution.

Posted by: Quark Police at May 02, 2016 01:49 PM (vvmPQ)

215 >>>Why do they assume that the universe has to be beautiful and elegant?
Couldn't God have just kludged it together if He wanted to?

Posted by: rickl at May 02, 2016 01:36 PM (zoehZ)
<<<

Could be.

Posted by: The Big Guy Upstairs, hiding a roll of Dark Tape (dark matter tape) at May 02, 2016 01:49 PM (H9MG5)

216 I think we can all agree particle board is crap no matter which way you look at it.

Posted by: jsg at May 02, 2016 01:49 PM (5VaJ/)

217 This particle, I'm told, has a big shaggy head and dances in its thousands on the head of a pin!

Wow, science.

Posted by: Joe "Bison" Biden at May 02, 2016 01:49 PM (/m8T6)

218 The article says: The Standard Model has worked well, but has gaps notably about dark matter, which is believed to make up one-quarter of the mass of the universe. Theorists say the December results, if confirmed, could help elucidate that enigma; or it could signal a graviton -- a theorized first particle with gravity -- or another boson, even hint of a new dimension.

I RESPOND - I am not a scientist, but I have a theory.

There is no such thing as "Dark Matter". The force we perceive as Dark Matter is actually quantum interference from the multiverse.

Posted by: Pastorius at May 02, 2016 01:49 PM (lHAc1)

219 208 RWC so that is where Half-Life stole their headcrab idea?

Posted by: Anna Puma at May 02, 2016 01:47 PM (ZCTRJ)

But of course

*shines up crowbar

Posted by: RWC-Team BOHICA at May 02, 2016 01:49 PM (/CXhS)

220 The Higgins Boson's Mate

Posted by: Scientists at May 02, 2016 01:50 PM (evdj2)

221 Just Fuck You in your face

Posted by: Lovey Howell at May 02, 2016 01:39 PM

Hey, honey....you must have been something before electricity!

Posted by: Al Czervic at May 02, 2016 01:50 PM (Q7bO0)

222 The Orbital Gauss Cannon Defense Grid, uh, finds a way.
============

All we need is a bigger Quark screw.

Posted by: mrp at May 02, 2016 01:50 PM (JBggj)

223
Salim Mulla, the former mayor of Blackburn who currently sits as a Labour councillor there. Last year Cllr Mulla posted on his Facebook page that it is 'bloody obvious' who is behind ISIS: 'Those who are not sure. ISRAEL.'

http://goo.gl/LIom6z

Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at May 02, 2016 01:50 PM (iQIUe)

224 I thought Gravitron took over the Decepticons after Megatron got his ass kicked.

Posted by: Junkion #4233G at May 02, 2016 01:50 PM (9eYoy)

225 I really don't know clouds, at all ..

Posted by: Scientists at May 02, 2016 01:50 PM (evdj2)

226 I think we can all agree particle board is crap no matter which way you look at it.

Who is on this "particle board"? Is it an appointed position, or are they elected?

Posted by: rickb223 at May 02, 2016 01:51 PM (Z65m4)

227 216 I think we can all agree particle board is crap no matter which way you look at it.
Posted by: jsg

Exactly.

If particle physics is so great, they why does its one byproduct, particle board, keep falling apart? Most of that Ikea crap is made out of particle board, thereby disproving the validity of this experiment.

Posted by: zombie at May 02, 2016 01:51 PM (jBuUi)

228 There is no such thing as "Dark Matter". The force we perceive as Dark Matter is actually quantum interference from the multiverse.

Also known as "God messing with us."

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at May 02, 2016 01:52 PM (659DL)

229 This particle is powering my flying car right now! This very minute.

Posted by: Doc Brown at May 02, 2016 01:52 PM (/m8T6)

230 "What the hell is a Giga electron Volt?!?"

It's either the basic unit of mass-energy equivalence, being the potential of a single electron crossing over the charge difference of exactly one volt... or the power source for the Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator.

Posted by: Qoheleth at May 02, 2016 01:53 PM (iIzG7)

231 Captain Whitebread just said on Facebook that he's headed to the Dr. because he can't get his bloodsugar under control. He asks for prayers and good wishes since, as a diabetic, this is a big deal.

Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette at May 02, 2016 01:53 PM (GDulk)

232 But imagine this RWC

The giant crab is at Hong Kong. American President turns to the Chairman of the JCS, "We got to do something!"

JCS Chief, "Working on it right now."

President, "What are you working on?"

JCS Chief, "Having six B-52s loaded with thermite bombs and two C-17s with Crab Boil."

Posted by: Anna Puma at May 02, 2016 01:53 PM (ZCTRJ)

233 The hardon is capaple of significantly changing its own mass and energy.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at May 02, 2016 01:53 PM (1xUj/)

234 The Beastie Boys fight for my right to particle, and I'm not gonna let them down.

Posted by: Lincolntf newly discovered dimension at May 02, 2016 01:53 PM (2cS/G)

235 If particle physics is so great, they why does its one byproduct,
particle board, keep falling apart? Most of that Ikea crap is made out
of particle board, thereby disproving the validity of this experiment.
============

Particle boards vary in quality depending on the quantity of gluons.

Posted by: mrp at May 02, 2016 01:54 PM (JBggj)

236 i think i'll take a few weeks from my gap year to sort this out.

Posted by: Malia at May 02, 2016 01:54 PM (PNcou)

237 There is no such thing as "Dark Matter". The force we perceive as Dark Matter is actually quantum interference from the multiverse.
Posted by: Pastorius at May 02, 2016 01:49 PM (lHAc1)

--------------

Wow. That's very good. Connect that with the second-hand-smoke brigade and you could be making millions off of government grants.

Posted by: Soona at May 02, 2016 01:54 PM (Fmupd)

238 If particle physics is so great, they why does its one byproduct,
particle board, keep falling apart? Most of that Ikea crap is made out
of particle board, thereby disproving the validity of this experiment.
============

Particle boards vary in quality depending on the quantity of gluons.

You're just missing pages 2, 5, and 67 of the instructions.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at May 02, 2016 01:55 PM (659DL)

239 The worst thing about a Gap year is the Christmas rush.

Posted by: Lincolntf newly discovered dimension at May 02, 2016 01:55 PM (2cS/G)

240 JCS Chief, "Having six B-52s loaded with thermite bombs and two C-17s with Crab Boil."

Posted by: Anna Puma at May 02, 2016 01:53 PM (ZCTRJ)

I'll bring the ice cold beer

Posted by: RWC-Team BOHICA at May 02, 2016 01:56 PM (/CXhS)

241 lol, Anna

Posted by: stace at May 02, 2016 01:56 PM (ozZau)

242 After the election I'm using this name and opening a chain of bars in all my hotels called the Large Hardon Collider.

That's not what this is called?

Posted by: Trumpster at May 02, 2016 01:56 PM (/m8T6)

243 This discovery happened because of Presdent Obona's leadership. Thank Sir and we all love you in Brattleboro. If Bush was presdent we would still be fighting wars in Iraq, Aftergansterien, and Iran, but are presdent iof color solved the messes created by Bush. Bush stinks and should be washed out of the histerory books so children do not learn about the first presdent to hate persons of color

Posted by: Mary Clogginstien from Brattleboro, Vt at May 02, 2016 01:56 PM (NuElX)

244 Tamponium is to Supergirl what Kryptonite is to Superman.

Posted by: Lincolntf at May 02, 2016 01:45 PM (2cS/G)

You're thinking of benandjerryium.

Posted by: Colorado Alex at May 02, 2016 01:56 PM (LUG6K)

245 Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette at May 02, 2016 01:53 PM (GDulk)

Please let Captain WB know we'll be praying for him.
Guy seems to be going through a lot lately.

Posted by: @votermom at May 02, 2016 01:57 PM (nbrY/)

246 "Having six B-52s loaded with thermite bombs and two C-17s with Crab Boil."

"Joe's Crab Shack, Wholesale Division. Can I help you?"

Posted by: Qoheleth at May 02, 2016 01:57 PM (iIzG7)

247 astrophysicist #1: Shit, we can't account for the total mass of the universe!

astrophysicist #2: Well, it must be somewhere. Mebbe we just can't see it.

astrophysicist #1: Yeah, right. Let's call it Dark Matter.

astrophysicist #2: Shit, now there's too much matter! The universe wouldn't exist with that much.

astrophysicist #1: Well, mebbe there's some other dark stuff, like Dark Energy.

astrophysicist #2: Oh, yeah, that sounds good.

THIRTY YEARS LATER...

astrophysicist #1: Shit, there too much Dark Frabblegazoink!

astrophysicist #2: No prob. Just add in the Dark Garwugglesnark.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at May 02, 2016 01:57 PM (OcD4G)

248 Sock off

Posted by: Lincolntf at May 02, 2016 01:57 PM (2cS/G)

249 Gimongous mallets too

Might need a KC-10 with melted butter too.

Posted by: stace at May 02, 2016 01:58 PM (ozZau)

250
A good vener will cover up a lot of voids in the particle board theory.

Particle board isn't structural, it doesn't carry any weight. You use it only to make the finished product visually appealing to your customer. So a good vener will cover up a lot of defects.

Posted by: Skandia Recluse at May 02, 2016 01:59 PM (5SCZ4)

251 "Having six B-52s loaded with thermite bombs and two C-17s with Crab Boil."

Did someone bring the jaws of life?

Posted by: Buzzsaw at May 02, 2016 01:59 PM (tf9Ne)

252 2nd gen plug in Chevy car.
------------------------

A guy I know just bought a new toy. A Zero electric off-road bike. By the time the smoke cleared, he spent about $12,000. The great part?, he got paid a subsidy to buy it.

Mind you, this is a very expensive toy, and our taxpayer dollars helped pay for it.

Every time that I see a Tesla, I think my head is going to explode.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 02, 2016 01:59 PM (yddCj)

253 Captain Whitebread just said on Facebook that he's headed to the Dr. because he can't get his bloodsugar under control. He asks for prayers and good wishes since, as a diabetic, this is a big deal.
Posted by: Polliwog the 'Ette

Prayers up!

Posted by: rickb223 at May 02, 2016 01:59 PM (Z65m4)

254 Science, Shmyence, what I want to know is what is the consensus on this? That's all I need to know.

/s

Posted by: LGoPs at May 02, 2016 02:00 PM (OcRm7)

255 Let's hope they haven't found the Obama particle.

Posted by: steevy at May 02, 2016 02:00 PM (B48dK)

256 Particle board isn't structural, it doesn't carry any weight. You use it only to make the finished product visually appealing to your customer. So a good vener will cover up a lot of defects.

In many ways, etc., etc....

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at May 02, 2016 02:01 PM (659DL)

257 Particle board isn't structural, it doesn't carry any weight. You use it only to make the finished product visually appealing to your customer. So a good vener will cover up a lot of defects.

Posted by: Skandia Recluse
--------------------

Particle board is just one increment above oatmeal... one small increment.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 02, 2016 02:01 PM (yddCj)

258 "Let's hope they haven't found the Obama particle."

Don't worry, its records have been sealed.

Posted by: Qoheleth at May 02, 2016 02:01 PM (iIzG7)

259 A guy I know just bought a new toy. A Zero electric off-road bike. By the time the smoke cleared, he spent about $12,000. The great part?, he got paid a subsidy to buy it.

Zero electric? Isn't that a standard peddle bike? Because if you have to recharge it, it's not zero electric.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 02, 2016 02:01 PM (Z65m4)

260 Third Labour Councillor Suspended Over "Hitler" Tweet

http://guyfawk.es/1VH3aaC

===========

Burnley Labour councillor Shah Hussain has been suspended for tweeting to the Israeli footballer Yossi Benayoun that "you and your country doing the same thing that hitler did to ur race in ww2". Cllr Hussain is certainly a charmer, he also expressed disappointment that the footballer was not kicked in the head "hard enough".

Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at May 02, 2016 02:01 PM (iQIUe)

261 What's the carbon footprint of the Large Hadron Collider?

Posted by: Jean at May 02, 2016 02:02 PM (cXiMR)

262 Government found this quark. Like I told the science guy who called me up to talk about this, "You didn't do this research". At that, he got very excitable and started bouncing off the walls.

Posted by: President For Life Barack H. Obama at May 02, 2016 02:02 PM (/m8T6)

263 Zero electric? Isn't that a standard peddle bike? Because if you have to recharge it, it's not zero electric.
Posted by: rickb223
----

http://www.motorcycle.com/specs/zero.html

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 02, 2016 02:03 PM (yddCj)

264 Particle board is just one increment above oatmeal... one small increment.
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 02, 2016 02:01 PM (yddCj)

A good way to add fiber to your diet.

Posted by: @votermom at May 02, 2016 02:03 PM (nbrY/)

265 Particle board is just one increment above oatmeal... one small increment.
Posted by: Mike Hammer,

Have you ever tried cleaning dried oatmeal off a pan?

I'd be willing to wager dried, compressed oatmeal boards would make for better furniture.

Posted by: weft cut-loop at May 02, 2016 02:04 PM (OcD4G)

266 The desk I am sitting at right now is made from particle board and has been in continuous use as a computer desk for twenty years.

That's proof right there.

Posted by: Skandia Recluse at May 02, 2016 02:04 PM (5SCZ4)

267
216 I think we can all agree particle board is crap no matter which way you look at it.

Posted by: jsg at May 02, 2016 01:49 PM (5VaJ/)

Bah! Particle board make good armor for technical truck, if Abu Hajaar would stop pelting us with spent brass.

Posted by: ISIS at May 02, 2016 02:05 PM (o98Jz)

268 http://www.motorcycle.com/specs/zero.html
Mike Hammer

Ahh. Zero Electric MOTORbike. Not just "bike".

Posted by: rickb223 at May 02, 2016 02:06 PM (Z65m4)

269 Why do they assume that the universe has to be beautiful and elegant? Couldn't God have just kludged it together if He wanted to?
Posted by: rickl at May 02, 2016 01:36 PM (zoehZ)

No, that's crazy talk.

Posted by: a Platypus at May 02, 2016 02:06 PM (zUs0s)

270 Yeah, well, you never hear about String Board do you?

Posted by: Particle Board at May 02, 2016 02:06 PM (1xUj/)

271 255
Let's hope they haven't found the Obama particle.

Posted by: steevy at May 02, 2016 02:00 PM (B48dK)

I found it this morning. Alas, I flushed it away.

Posted by: Sixkiller at May 02, 2016 02:06 PM (pcyHg)

272
Why do they assume that the universe has to be beautiful and elegant? Couldn't God have just kludged it together if He wanted to?
Posted by: rickl at May 02, 2016 01:36 PM (zoehZ)

No, that's crazy talk.

Posted by: a Platypus at May 02, 2016 02:06 PM (zUs0s)

Word. Made my damned pit too big.

Posted by: An Avocado at May 02, 2016 02:07 PM (o98Jz)

273 I guess particle board has it's place. Shelving, decorative stuff, desks and cabinets that are going to be static. The problem with it is that if it gets moved around too much, or a corner gets banged, the whole thing starts losing it's veneer, and then it's integrity. Not suitable for college/bachelor digs.

Posted by: Lincolntf at May 02, 2016 02:07 PM (2cS/G)

274 @267 now I'm imagining Abu Hajaar at CERN

Posted by: @votermom at May 02, 2016 02:07 PM (nbrY/)

275 The desk I am sitting at right now is made from particle board and has been in continuous use as a computer desk for twenty years.

A solid cube of anything is pretty sturdy.

Well, except for the fat girl that freaked out at Milo's thing the other night. That would just jiggle.

Posted by: Circa (Insert Year Here) at May 02, 2016 02:08 PM (659DL)

276 255 Let's hope they haven't found the Obama particle.
Posted by: steevy at May 02, 2016 02:00 PM (B48dK)

---

The ever elusive half-dark matter

Posted by: Malia at May 02, 2016 02:08 PM (PNcou)

277 At least we live in a universe without Jar Jar Binks innit.

Posted by: mrp at May 02, 2016 02:08 PM (JBggj)

278 I guess particle board has it's place. Shelving, decorative stuff, desks and cabinets that are going to be static. The problem with it is that if it gets moved around too much, or a corner gets banged, the whole thing starts losing it's veneer, and then it's integrity. Not suitable for college/bachelor digs.

Pro tip: Do NOT make beer pong tables outta this stuff.

Posted by: rickb223 at May 02, 2016 02:09 PM (Z65m4)

279 Wtf--is The Standard Model)

Kate Upton?

Posted by: Biden Is In The Ball Pit at May 02, 2016 02:09 PM (mcm0N)

280 But does the graviton CARE about me?

Posted by: LIV still not voting for Graviton at May 02, 2016 02:09 PM (k8tEg)

281 267
216 I think we can all agree particle board is crap no matter which way you look at it.

Posted by: jsg at May 02, 2016 01:49 PM (5VaJ/)

Particle board is truly one of the wonders of the modern world. Without it, we would all be living in either log cabins or cardboard boxes.

Posted by: jwest at May 02, 2016 02:09 PM (Zs4uk)

282 If the linked article doesn't include the word "epistemology" it isn't REAL science.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at May 02, 2016 02:10 PM (mvenn)

283 How the discovery of the BUSH particle? The dumbest particle in the world........................

Posted by: Mary Clogginstien from Brattleboro, Vt at May 02, 2016 02:10 PM (NuElX)

284 Mind. Blown.

Posted by: Mike DeGrasse Tyson at May 02, 2016 02:10 PM (2Ocf1)

285 99.999% of physics is speculative math without a single observational piece of evidence to support it.

In other words: Bullshit.

Posted by: Sharkman at May 02, 2016 02:10 PM (RQNOE)

286 There are more things in Heaven and earth than are dreamed of in your philosophy

Posted by: Some Old Dead White Guy at May 02, 2016 02:11 PM (k8tEg)

287 There's nothing standard about Kate Upton.

Posted by: mrp at May 02, 2016 02:12 PM (JBggj)

288 Is the standard model --that orbital shit?

Cuz I prefer the standard models with the D size orbits IYKWIM.

Posted by: Biden Is In The Ball Pit at May 02, 2016 02:12 PM (mcm0N)

289 Where's my flying car? Dammit! And why hasn't somebody created a dark matter engine or a graviton/higgs engine?

I got your "I Love Science" endowment right here!

Posted by: Fritz at May 02, 2016 02:13 PM (UzPAd)

290 how about we call it the "triggertron"?

Posted by: redc1c4 at May 02, 2016 02:13 PM (WhYLb)

291
282 If the linked article doesn't include the word "epistemology" it isn't REAL science.
Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at May 02, 2016 02:10 PM (mvenn)

-----------------

Don't forget "osmosis". Without that word science would be non-existent.

Posted by: Soona at May 02, 2016 02:13 PM (Fmupd)

292 How the discovery of the BUSH particle? The dumbest particle in the world........................

Posted by: Mary Clogginstien from Brattleboro, Vt at May 02, 2016 02:10 PM (NuElX)

Just step right over here ma'am...look out for the weasel, heh heh...poor fellow never saw that particle coming - get it? A little physics joke there...now just sit right there and close your eyes...and we'll see how dense, I mean thick, I mean sturdy your perceptions of time and space are.

Posted by: *Mikey NTH - Hire Instigators, Inc. to Spice Up Your Formal Dinner! An Outrage Outlet subsidiary. at May 02, 2016 02:14 PM (hLRSq)

293 I hate science, Leftists tell me so

Posted by: conservative at May 02, 2016 02:15 PM (PFZvJ)

294 285 99.999% of physics is speculative math without a single observational piece of evidence to support it.

In other words: Bullshit.
Posted by: Sharkman at May 02, 2016 02:10 PM (RQNOE)

WTF?

Posted by: Hiroshima at May 02, 2016 02:15 PM (6qmBU)

295
Does this Universe make my mass look fat?

Posted by: Graviton at May 02, 2016 02:15 PM (oU3Bb)

296 why can't these cishet shitlord scientists back off from imposing a role on this particle? Have they even considered asking the particle how it identifies? Are you going to finish that donut?

Posted by: TrigglyPuff at May 02, 2016 02:15 PM (zUs0s)

297 289 Where's my flying car?

I'm with you. If I ever catch those guys at Popular Mechanics that promised one to me if I just kept reading their fucking magazine, I'll whack them right upside the head.

Posted by: jwest at May 02, 2016 02:15 PM (Zs4uk)

298 The hardon is capaple of significantly changing its own mass and energy.

Posted by: Bandersnatch at May 02, 2016 01:53 PM (1xUj/)

****

Unfortunately it only lasts one-billionth of a second.

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at May 02, 2016 02:16 PM (mvenn)

299 There's nothing standard about Kate Upton.
Posted by: mrp at May 02, 2016 02:12 PM (JBggj)

There's an inequality of outcome if ever there was one.

Make Kate Upton Standard.

#yesallmen...want a Kate Upton.

Posted by: Ghost of kari - certified sidebar at May 02, 2016 02:16 PM (xuouz)

300 You blame me because your husbands told you to.

Yeah, right. They're idiots. IKEA stuff is super easy to assemble and the instructions are clear.

You married a bunch of pussy-boys.

Oh sure, Mommy liked him because he was "nice" and not like that boyfriend with the motorcycle. Yeah, well, Hells Angels boy could have built that TV stand and given you some good orgasms.

What do you have now? Lovely sconces and a teacup dog.

Is this really what you settled for?

Posted by: Particle Board at May 02, 2016 02:17 PM (1xUj/)

301 You do have to love physicists for this one salient fact:

The first time a nuclear chain reaction was ever tried, they weren't sure whether or not it would be contained, or whether it would destroy the universe. So they just said: "Fuck it, let's see what happens!"

Science! That which does not kill you makes you smarter.

Posted by: Sharkman at May 02, 2016 02:17 PM (RQNOE)

302 Don't text and drive your flying car!

Posted by: mrp at May 02, 2016 02:18 PM (JBggj)

303 I'm with you. If I ever catch those guys at Popular Mechanics that promised one to me if I just kept reading their fucking magazine, I'll whack them right upside the head.

Are you nuts? Traffic is bad enough just on the ground, if I have to put up with idiots with aircraft? Dealbreaker.

Posted by: Brother Cavil at May 02, 2016 02:18 PM (9krrF)

304 Conclusion of this study?

#BlackMatterLives

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at May 02, 2016 02:18 PM (mvenn)

305 Is there math involved in this nood or are we off topic yet?

Posted by: Chris Rock at May 02, 2016 02:18 PM (aQQbl)

306 99.999% of physics is speculative math without a single observational piece of evidence to support it.

You know how they find these exotic particles? Well, years ago they used a cloud chamber, a glass box with super saturated humidity so anything that disturbed the atoms left a 'cloud trail'. The put the glass box around the point of impact where their accelerated highly charged ions hit the target, and when two ions collided and split, all the particles scattered through the cloud chamber.

Remember avogadro's number? very large number, there are a lot of atoms in an ounce of matter. So you ionize a few pounds of some gas that is easy to ionize, then accelerate the ions around a ring of electromagnets and deflect the fast moving ion into the target area. Billions and billions of ions for hours and hours with a high speed camera recording the cloud chambers until one time, one track through the chamber is different than all the others, one out of billions and billions, and then you have 'proof'. You show one frame from the high speed camera, one frame out of hours and hours. That's proof.

Then you do it again, hours and hours, billions and billions for weeks and months, and years, until you get a second track and voila you have confirmation.

See? Science.

Posted by: Skandia Recluse at May 02, 2016 02:19 PM (5SCZ4)

307 I read a book a few years ago by a physicist or mathematician who rejected string theory. He noted that there were so many unknown values (I'm probably not saying this correctly) added and mixed in that the whole thing becomes meaningless.

Posted by: Satan of Cloggenwurst Vt at May 02, 2016 02:20 PM (qSIlh)

308 #BlackMatterLives
Posted by: Seamus Muldoon at May 02, 2016 02:18 PM (mvenn)

Goodun, Muldoon.

Posted by: @votermom at May 02, 2016 02:20 PM (nbrY/)

309 How about PRC reactor at a sea fort leaks, gets in with the sea life, add some Miracle Grow... and voila giant radioactive crab attacking Hong Kong.

Posted by: Anna Puma at May 02, 2016 01:41 PM (ZCTRJ)

Attack of the Crab Monsters - 1957

Scientists become trapped on a shrinking island with intelligent, brain-eating, giant crabs.
Posted by: RWC-Team BOHICA at May 02, 2016 01:46 PM (/CXhS)

That's only a small hop, skip, and jump away from headcrabs.

*shudder*

Posted by: ReactionaryMonster Bravely supporting kittens at May 02, 2016 02:20 PM (uURQL)

310 Trump.

(Sorry. Just slipped out.)

Posted by: MaxMBJ at May 02, 2016 02:20 PM (eXTZt)

311
Remember avogadro's number?

*****
847-6309?

Posted by: Biden Is In The Ball Pit at May 02, 2016 02:21 PM (mcm0N)

312
Here is my working theory: 98% of all car repairs cost $700, 98% of all appliance repairs cost $250 and we all know boat repairs are break out another thousand.

Also I am not big on boycotts but nobody should take their little girls with them if they shop at Target:

http://tinyurl.com/jv6rhvq

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at May 02, 2016 02:21 PM (ODxAs)

313 I think we can all agree particle board is crap no matter which way you look at it.
Posted by: jsg

Exactly.

If particle physics is so great, they why does its one byproduct, particle board, keep falling apart? Most of that Ikea crap is made out of particle board, thereby disproving the validity of this experiment.
Posted by: zombie at May 02, 2016 01:51 PM (jBuUi)

See, we buy the IKEA crap cause it's cheap, but it falls apart and needs to be replaced and ends up more expensive.

What's the pricetag on particle physics?

Posted by: ReactionaryMonster Bravely supporting kittens at May 02, 2016 02:22 PM (uURQL)

314 Ahh. Zero Electric MOTORbike. Not just "bike".
Posted by: rickb223
-------------

Ironically, the Zero is the first actual motorcycle.
Motorbike, if you prefer.

Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at May 02, 2016 02:23 PM (yddCj)

315 304 Conclusion of this study?

#BlackMatterLives

Posted by: Seamus Muldoon

Amazingly late in the thread, but...THREADWINNER!

Posted by: zombie at May 02, 2016 02:23 PM (jBuUi)

316 98% of all appliance repairs cost $250

--
I guess we've saved over a thousand bucks by now.
Thank you YouTube fixit videos!

Posted by: @votermom at May 02, 2016 02:23 PM (nbrY/)

317 I'm particle bored.

Posted by: Lincolntf at May 02, 2016 02:23 PM (2cS/G)

318 I read a book a few years ago by a physicist or mathematician who rejected string theory. He noted that there were so many unknown values (I'm probably not saying this correctly) added and mixed in that the whole thing becomes meaningless.
Posted by: Satan of Cloggenwurst Vt at May 02, 2016 02:20 PM (qSIlh)

The thing about String Theory is that we literally can't test it. It's hypothesizing things several orders of magnitude outside our range of observation. So being a scientific theory, it's not very useful, because it's not falsifiable right now.

Posted by: joe, living dangerously at May 02, 2016 02:24 PM (KUaJL)

319 ohhhh... Kate Upton has nice bosons

Posted by: Chris Rock at May 02, 2016 02:24 PM (aQQbl)

320 Enjoy this thread,next one will probably be a Trump-Cruz thread.

Posted by: steevy at May 02, 2016 02:24 PM (B48dK)

321
I think the only thing CERN has discovered is that they need more funding.

Posted by: Guy Mohawk at May 02, 2016 02:24 PM (ODxAs)

322 blech... off you nasty Rock Sock

Posted by: IP at May 02, 2016 02:24 PM (aQQbl)

323 Shit---I actually misremembered--"Jenny's number ".

YeeeHaaa.

Posted by: Biden Is In The Ball Pit at May 02, 2016 02:24 PM (mcm0N)

324 What's the pricetag on particle physics?
Posted by: ReactionaryMonster Bravely supporting kittens
--------------

pffft.
Cheap.

Posted by: Pointlessly maintained ISS at May 02, 2016 02:25 PM (yddCj)

325 Ahh. Zero Electric MOTORbike. Not just "bike".

Posted by: rickb223 at May 02, 2016 02:06 PM (Z65m4)

And for the kind of money they are asking for them you could buy a Harley Davidson, and never have to plug the sumbitch in.

Posted by: George Lucas at May 02, 2016 02:25 PM (60Q+L)

326 Isn't string theory out of fashion now?

Posted by: @votermom at May 02, 2016 02:25 PM (nbrY/)

327 307 I read a book a few years ago by a physicist or mathematician who rejected string theory. He noted that there were so many unknown values (I'm probably not saying this correctly) added and mixed in that the whole thing becomes meaningless.
Posted by: Satan of Cloggenwurst Vt at May 02, 2016 02:20 PM (qSIlh)

----------------------

I don't know. Walking through billions of dimensions just to go to the restroom sort of appeals to me.

Posted by: Soona at May 02, 2016 02:25 PM (Fmupd)

328 Also I am not big on boycotts but nobody should take their little girls with them if they shop at Target:

http://tinyurl.com/jv6rhvq
Posted by: Guy Mohawk at May 02, 2016 02:21 PM (ODxAs)

If you can't take your little girls with you, don't shop at Target. Why contribute to an unsafe shopping place?

Posted by: ReactionaryMonster Bravely supporting kittens at May 02, 2016 02:25 PM (uURQL)

329 >>Here is my working theory: 98% of all car repairs cost $700, 98% of all appliance repairs cost $250 and we all know boat repairs are break out another thousand.

Try an airplane. Everything is a multiple of Aviation Monetary Units. 1 AMU = $1000

Posted by: Aviator at May 02, 2016 02:26 PM (c7vUv)

330 > even hint of a new dimension.

Oops. Sorry about that.

Posted by: sqrt(-1) at May 02, 2016 02:27 PM (25+/B)

331 Ms. Cloggenstein - you survived. Not surprising; look you'll need to stick around a little longer, that particle should have bored a hole the size of a BB in your brain pan...No, it bounced right off...fascinating, really - I think your skull is made of the most dense material ever. Cloggensteinium is what we'll call it, we just need to get the atomic number. what's that? Samples? Miss, there is no way anyone will get a sample, nothing can cut that. Superman himself would have a problem...do I know Superman? Not personally...yes, I'll see about getting you his autograph...

Posted by: *Mikey NTH - Hire Instigators, Inc. to Spice Up Your Formal Dinner! An Outrage Outlet subsidiary. at May 02, 2016 02:27 PM (hLRSq)

332 >>ohhhh... Kate Upton has nice bosons

Motor bosoning

Posted by: Aviator at May 02, 2016 02:28 PM (c7vUv)

333 Also nood.

Posted by: joe, living dangerously at May 02, 2016 02:28 PM (KUaJL)

334 Nood Andrea Tarantos,

Don't you wish

Posted by: Skip at May 02, 2016 02:28 PM (PFZvJ)

335 >>>>
Did they discover the particle or did they create it?

(Random question to make it sound like I'm smaaaht)
.
.
.
.It's left over Weasel.

Posted by: The Great White Scotsman at May 02, 2016 02:28 PM (iONHu)

336 Must be budget time.

Posted by: Jack at May 02, 2016 02:29 PM (/haNQ)

337 325 Ahh. Zero Electric MOTORbike. Not just "bike".

We built one as kids with a Rupp mini bike frame, a car battery and a 12 volt starter motor.

Using the gears and chain we had, it would do about 7 miles and hour, but it would snap your neck getting you up to speed. No variable speed controller, just on or off.

Posted by: jwest at May 02, 2016 02:32 PM (Zs4uk)

338 Question: Do gravitons naturally gravitate to the ass?
Answer: Yes
Proof: Deep indentation in couch cushion.

You want the math? You can't handle the math!

Posted by: Headless Body of Agnew at May 02, 2016 02:43 PM (FtrY1)

339 Meanwhile, meaning exactly consecutively, MIT-as-reported-in-USA-Today discovers three planets with water and life as close as they could be, only 40 light years.

Is it by any chance Science Grant Application Week?

Posted by: Stringer Davis at May 02, 2016 02:49 PM (xq1UY)

340 It's worth noting, though, how actual scientists react to results that don't match their existing theories. In this case, they're excited and fascinated. Nobody's trying to get the Swiss D.A. to prosecute CERN for "Standard Model Denialism."

Posted by: Trimegistus at May 02, 2016 03:03 PM (wokl9)

341 There are several theories of compactified extra dimensions. If you have a regular particle (such as an electron) carrying momentum in a compact dimension, it will be perceived by you 3+1D morons as a different particle with more mass.

By the way, LHC is a hadron collider so it can't tell if it's actually extra dimensions or supersymmetry (period, end of story). For that you need ILC.... $$$$

Posted by: m-zero-x at May 02, 2016 03:07 PM (mIZ2c)

342 The science is settled! These crazy experiments by Standard Model Deniers must be stopped and these mad scientists silenced! We know too much already!

Hey--anybody want to buy some Collider Credits?

Posted by: Al Gore, Climate $haria Imam at May 02, 2016 04:07 PM (Ndje9)

343 Best elections evah!

Posted by: g6loq at May 02, 2016 04:56 PM (zj+JZ)

344 Great to hear of a scientific breakthrough, but I will refrain from applause until I find out if any of the genius scientists were wearing an offensive shirt.

Posted by: Dogleg Bumstead at May 02, 2016 05:03 PM (MZmb8)

345 Shows up uninvited you say?

Let's call it the Kasich Roidion

Posted by: K-Bob at May 02, 2016 07:20 PM (A6sW3)

346 If you claiming to have found a PARTICLE that was previously UNKNOWN. maybe best not to describe it a four times more MASSIVE than...

Posted by: LondonDave at May 02, 2016 07:58 PM (UdBKv)

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