Wisconsin Morons and Ettes: The Desk Needs You!

Hello everyone, and happy election season!

We are approaching the fifth anniversary of a night that electrified the Wisconsinites and election junkies here on the blog: the Supreme Court election between incumbent SC Justice David Prosser and JoAnne Kloppenburg. The race had a very revealing turn of events that a moron had unwittingly noticed in the comments:

It turns out that the Waukesha County clerk hadn't updated the Brookfield results at all, and the AP carried over the error. The rest made for a week of fun, where "newly discovered votes" broke Republican for a change.

Well, fast forward five years. We are approaching two contentious Presidential primaries in the state, and another Supreme Court election, this time with Walker-appointed Rebecca Bradley facing...JoAnne Kloppenburg.

So, we wanted to do something special for this particular set of races. When Edison Research announced they were hired by the networks last minute to conduct an exit survey (their contract with the Bigs only stretched through 3/15, hence no Arizona exits), we contacted them, and found out they will not be surveying the supreme court race.

They may not, but we will.

Right now, we've been organizing volunteers to conduct a survey much like the one we successfully pulled off in New Hampshire. A few familiar morons lent a hand for that effort: Fluffy, Neid's Dead Horse, Political Hat and a host of others helped gather supplies and conduct surveys in far-flung places like Mil-ford and La-con-i-a.

This time, we need more morons and 'ettes armed with only tablets and a smile to help us conduct our new survey in Wisconsin.

Our greatest need right now is in the morning and afternoon in the following communities:
City of Milwaukee (two separate precincts)
City of West Allis
City of South Milwaukee
City of Green Bay
City of Eau Claire
City of Greenfield
and the city of Oshkosh

There are specific precincts in each that you would be tasked with surveying. Feel free to ask any of the volunteers who contributed on the ground in NH how their experience went, and if you can join us next Tuesday, we'd gladly have the drunken lot of you.

Email contact@decisiondeskhq.com with the shifts you could help with and in which city, and we'll see you there!

Posted by: CAC at 05:26 PM

Comments

(Jump to bottom of comments)

1 Not geographically possible

Posted by: Tim in GA at March 29, 2016 05:14 PM (a/h6D)

2 I'm no where near Wisconsin but it should be a hoot.

Posted by: Infidel at March 29, 2016 05:14 PM (Z1SI2)

3 Wisconsin - got any cute, impressionable girls with daddy-issues and something to prove up there?

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Still Accepting Harem Applicants at March 29, 2016 05:18 PM (lutOX)

4 All the big titty girls are in Eau Claire, so you need to go up there.

Posted by: Roland THTG at March 29, 2016 05:20 PM (QM5S2)

5 Serious question: Why?

We did the exit polling in NH. I didn't see immediate estimates when the polls closed.

We got actuals from the polling stations starting within 20 minutes of polls closing. I saw those numbers go up.

What is the actual use of volunteer hours doing exit polling?

Posted by: Bandersnatch at March 29, 2016 05:22 PM (1xUj/)

6 Eau Claire, eh?

And where for the bored, fit, yoga-pants housewives?

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Still Accepting Harem Applicants at March 29, 2016 05:23 PM (lutOX)

7 I'm confused. Is this a ground game thing, or can you be long distant and make calls and tabulate?

Posted by: olddog in mo at March 29, 2016 05:23 PM (Dhht7)

8 Why does the Desk want me? What have I done now?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at March 29, 2016 05:23 PM (8ZskC)

9
Add to your list:

JoAnne Kloppenburg ... to see if she feels that she won.

Posted by: Arbalest at March 29, 2016 05:24 PM (FlRtG)

10 Oh, Claire!

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at March 29, 2016 05:24 PM (8ZskC)

11 Ewwww?

Claire?

WHYYYY?

http://tinyurl.com/gnx95l3

Posted by: pookysgirl at March 29, 2016 05:25 PM (K27gs)

12 wisconsin is fucked up worse than a goat in saudi arabia. this place sucks.

Posted by: chavez the hugo at March 29, 2016 05:25 PM (ucDmr)

13 This time, we need more morons and 'ettes armed with only tablets and a smile to help us conduct our new survey in Wisconsin.

Is a tablet and a smile enough or should I also bring pants?

Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at March 29, 2016 05:26 PM (8ZskC)

14 But you're still not as F'd up as your southern neighbor.

Posted by: IP at March 29, 2016 05:26 PM (aQQbl)

15 4 All the big titty girls are in Eau Claire, so you need to go up there.
Posted by: Roland THTG at March 29, 2016 05:20 PM (QM5S2

-----------------

You know the rule.

Posted by: Soona at March 29, 2016 05:26 PM (Fmupd)

16 From the side bar:

Follow this link for one minute video clip from Governor Walker's endorsement of Ted Cruz. [Y-not] update: Curiously, Drudge misses the news.[krak/t]

--

I do not think Drudge missed it.

I think he chose to ignore it.

A few minutes ago he was linking to sniveling coward live, giving him increased coverage.

I have come to the conclusion that he is in the bag for Trump, because ratings/hits.

Posted by: sippin_bourbon at March 29, 2016 05:26 PM (Gl74b)

17 What is the actual use of volunteer hours doing exit polling?
Posted by: Bandersnatch at March 29, 2016 05:22 PM (1xUj/)
***
Meet-and-greet. drinks after....

Come, man, surely you, as a member of the Horde, can see the utility in that.
A serious question, though: Will there be booze? Without it, you won't get much response from the likes of us.

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Still Accepting Harem Applicants at March 29, 2016 05:27 PM (lutOX)

18 If you could get the Cruz mistresses to volunteer for each city you would have more than enough volunteers.

Posted by: Joe Hallenbeck at March 29, 2016 05:27 PM (Bc1aB)

19 Head meet desk.

Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at March 29, 2016 05:28 PM (FkBIv)

20 "EAU CLAIRE, Wis. (WEAU) -- Two teenage girls have been charged with prostitution, accused of soliciting at an Eau Claire hotel."

I'm tellin ya: Moron Central!

Posted by: Roland THTG at March 29, 2016 05:29 PM (QM5S2)

21 Dammit, stop comparing us to Wisconsin.

Posted by: Saudi Arabia at March 29, 2016 05:29 PM (8ZskC)

22 I'm going to get that cheating Walker someday for all his oppression!

Posted by: JoAnne Kloppenburg from Tattleboro, WI at March 29, 2016 05:29 PM (NjX7M)

23 CAC killed the blog

Posted by: Duke Lowell at March 29, 2016 05:31 PM (kTF2Z)

24 What did CAC do to the comments?

Posted by: Soona at March 29, 2016 05:32 PM (Fmupd)

25 every hippie in this shithole state turned out for bernie today. damn i'm proud to live in this shithole of a frozen piece of shit place. i'm convinced everybody here is retarded and their shit is all fucked up.

Posted by: chavez the hugo at March 29, 2016 05:33 PM (ucDmr)

26 Serious question: Why?
Posted by: Bandersnatch at March 29, 2016 05:22 PM (1xUj/)

The NH exits went out on Twitter and to subscribers at 7pm EDT. Results rolled in shortly thereafter, but...NH was a blowout race on both sides.

Exits can better determine a winner, specifically by using the bellwether method, in a close election, which we fully expect all three races to be. Exits don't do much besides reveal demo data when a race is a 20 point blowout.

They can be extremely useful in a very close race, which all three contests are shaping up to be next week.

Also, if what is surveyed in historical bullseyes is radically off from initial reports, that means one of two things- the survey was off the mark, or something screwy is happening. Wouldn't it be nice to see such a divergence early and have something to go back to if things get contested?

Posted by: CAC at March 29, 2016 05:33 PM (LPeqh)

27 So we find ourselves here in Wisconsin in the middle of the political battlefield again...

We've been living political deja vu now for 6 years now.

Posted by: H Badger at March 29, 2016 05:33 PM (n/0Nw)

28 Bring me the broom of JoAnne Kloppenberg.

Posted by: The Wizard of Waukesha at March 29, 2016 05:33 PM (8ZskC)

29 28 Bring me the broom of JoAnne Kloppenberg.
Posted by: The Wizard of Waukesha at March 29, 2016 05:33 PM (8ZskC)

This is why I miss this place.

I've been really busy with the election stuff and the DD. I need to pop in more frequently, guys and gals.

Posted by: CAC at March 29, 2016 05:35 PM (LPeqh)

30 As for the worse than Saudi Arabia thing...as long as we finish ahead of Illinois I don't give a fuck

Posted by: H Badger at March 29, 2016 05:35 PM (n/0Nw)

31 as long as we finish ahead of Illinois
______________________________

Low hanging fruit there by God...

Posted by: IP at March 29, 2016 05:37 PM (aQQbl)

32 28
Bring me the broom of JoAnne Kloppenberg.

------

Badgers, Mosquitos and Beers, Oh My!
Badgers, Mosquitos and Beers, Oh My!
Badgers, Mosquitos and Beers, Oh My!

Posted by: sippin_bourbon at March 29, 2016 05:37 PM (Gl74b)

33 Posted by: chavez the hugo at March 29, 2016 05:33 PM (ucDmr)

You live in WI.? Look at the bright side-it's a beautiful state (great fishing) and such delightful people as you and Grammie Winger do live there.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at March 29, 2016 05:38 PM (w4NZ8)

34 kloppenberg is hot! i mean sizzling hot. and smart too!

Posted by: chavez the hugo at March 29, 2016 05:39 PM (ucDmr)

35 I've heard there's a lot of Thai trannies in WI. Is that true?

Posted by: Soona at March 29, 2016 05:39 PM (Fmupd)

36 @Fenelon

...um?

Posted by: H Badger at March 29, 2016 05:39 PM (n/0Nw)

37 Posted by: H Badger at March 29, 2016 05:39 PM (n/0Nw)

Ms/Mr Badger-You're not a "people" even though you may think you are ;^)

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at March 29, 2016 05:41 PM (w4NZ8)

38 I have to say not many ladyboys in most of the areas I have frequented over the years...but we are drunk most of the time so who knows!

Posted by: H Badger at March 29, 2016 05:41 PM (n/0Nw)

39 33: Yes I live in WI. So does MH. There are some wonderful people here, but as soon as wife can retire I'm out. At least we won't have to put up with six months of winter and shitty politics. This place sucks balls. I'll take year round above freezing over this shit any day. Stupid ancestors. Yeah, I'm bitter.

Posted by: chavez the hugo at March 29, 2016 05:44 PM (ucDmr)

40 That is a reasonably fair statement...

Posted by: H Badger at March 29, 2016 05:44 PM (n/0Nw)

41 Hey, Wisconsin has cheese.
And kringles. Really good kringles.

In fact, we DeVilles in Virginia just had Wisconsin kringles for Easter. Yep. Flown here from Racine on the wings of purty little butterflies.

Okay. The butterflies part is a lie. But the kringles are for real.

Posted by: Margarita DeVille at March 29, 2016 05:45 PM (T/5A0)

42 Proud of the Horde - in fewer than 40 comments, we go from a solicitation for exit-poll volunteers to a discussion of drunken carousing and the incidence of Thai ladyboys in Wisconsin.

Damn, we're magnificent!

Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Still Accepting Harem Applicants at March 29, 2016 05:45 PM (lutOX)

43

Is AtC out of her bath yet? I need to sand and oil her chainmail.

Posted by: In Vino Veritits at March 29, 2016 05:47 PM (KId5h)

44 Don't know where you get that 6 months stuff Chavez...the politics here are shitty year round!

Posted by: H Badger at March 29, 2016 05:47 PM (n/0Nw)

45 wisconsin is full of the offspring of died in the wool of german socialists. it's fucked up.

Posted by: chavez the hugo at March 29, 2016 05:48 PM (ucDmr)

46 Posted by: chavez the hugo at March 29, 2016 05:44 PM (ucDmr)

Well, i know the leftist and union people are very strong there, but there must be some sane people; You did manage to elect Scott Walker.

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at March 29, 2016 05:48 PM (w4NZ8)

47 Hate to say it but I'm burned out on this election already. While I'm a Cruz guy, I'm skeptical of his chances of winning in the general.
And I'm definitely tired of the back-and-forth with the Trumpsters. If he's your guy he'll need to bone up on some policy issues. For instance, if you're going to call for torture make sure you take an approach like Alan Dershowitz did, and be ready to explain how you don't commit war crimes using the appropriate nuance.
As I've stated before, no one gets to immigrate here without being vetted-that includes women and children. No records, no entry. But you have to thoroughly explain the importance of documentation, otherwise you sound like a xenophobe. NTTAWWT, but you have to think about the larger picture in the general election.

Posted by: Hadoop at March 29, 2016 05:48 PM (2X7pN)

48 But the kringles are for real.

What is a kringle?

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at March 29, 2016 05:49 PM (w4NZ8)

49 44: You are correct sir! I was talking the fucking climate here. Oh, and let's tax the fuck out of the idiots still living here. Fucking rubes.

Posted by: chavez the hugo at March 29, 2016 05:50 PM (ucDmr)

50 42 Proud of the Horde - in fewer than 40 comments, we go from a solicitation for exit-poll volunteers to a discussion of drunken carousing and the incidence of Thai ladyboys in Wisconsin.

Diversity ba-by!

Posted by: Hadoop at March 29, 2016 05:51 PM (2X7pN)

51 I guess living in a WOW county has me in much finer spirits about Wisconsin.

Plus there's a drink for every season:

Spring - beer
Summer - beer
Fall - beer
Winter - beer

Posted by: H Badger at March 29, 2016 05:51 PM (n/0Nw)

52 46: Fluke. Never ever happen again. Trust me.

Posted by: chavez the hugo at March 29, 2016 05:51 PM (ucDmr)

53 Misanthropic Humanitarians lives there too? Great You and he and Grammie Winger out to have a moron meet up and commiserate with each other over Lutefisk and swedish pancakes and whatever lukefish is served with. It ought to be warm in WI by June-right? ;^)

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at March 29, 2016 05:52 PM (w4NZ8)

54 @Chavez
Your border patrol doesn't make it easy on those that don't live there either..

If you have out of state plates, ya might as well be drunk drivin a school bus of infants to daycare.

Posted by: IP at March 29, 2016 05:52 PM (aQQbl)

55 The only thing I know about Wisconsin is the way they drive.

Posted by: Welcher Cleaveland at March 29, 2016 05:53 PM (WBlhW)

56 53: Maybe June. Never met Grammie, but, MH is a great guy solid.

Posted by: chavez the hugo at March 29, 2016 05:54 PM (ucDmr)

57 You have us confused with Minnesotans...

Beer, Old Fashions, and cased meats is more our speed.

Posted by: H Badger at March 29, 2016 05:54 PM (n/0Nw)

58 Proud of the Horde - in fewer than 40 comments, we go from a solicitation for exit-poll volunteers to a discussion of drunken carousing and the incidence of Thai ladyboys in Wisconsin.

---------------

The horde is very efficient in its laciviousness.

Posted by: Duke Lowell at March 29, 2016 05:54 PM (kTF2Z)

59 54: Funny, but, damn that's so true.

Posted by: chavez the hugo at March 29, 2016 05:55 PM (ucDmr)

60

Wisconsin slang: FIBs - Fucking Illinois Bastards.

Local guy is advertising he wants to build a wall to keep the FIBs out.

Posted by: In Vino Veritits at March 29, 2016 05:55 PM (KId5h)

61 About this vote counting... is algebra involved? Because that's hard.

Posted by: Pope Francisissy at March 29, 2016 05:57 PM (fbovC)

62 About this vote counting... is algebra involved? Because that's hard.
Posted by: Pope Francisissy at March 29, 2016 05:57 PM (fbovC)

No but you need to be able to jimmy the lock of the trunk of Ford Fairlane

Posted by: Nevergiveup at March 29, 2016 05:59 PM (mw8Dm)

63 Would you need a boat?
Asking for a friend

Posted by: Skip at March 29, 2016 06:00 PM (fizMZ)

64 When is the Rhode Island primary?
Woonsocket is where girls have big bottoms.

Posted by: teh Wind at March 29, 2016 06:00 PM (2dhtB)

65 48
What is a kringle?
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at March 29, 2016 05:49 PM (w4NZ

----------------
It is a delicious and very delicate Danish pastry with the shape and size of a Christmas wreath.
Out of this world.

My sister's first husband was from Racine and he would bring back kringles every time he went home. That's how we learned of them.
When sister divorced him, we were left kringleless.

Then one day Mama (now Grammie) Winger told us where we could order them straight from Racine!

Posted by: Margarita DeVille at March 29, 2016 06:06 PM (T/5A0)

66
Meatball should be out walking with Meatball, jr. Hell, I bet he can even run, now.

Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at March 29, 2016 06:07 PM (iQIUe)

67 It is a delicious and very delicate Danish pastry with the shape and size of a Christmas wreath.

Sounds great!

Posted by: FenelonSpoke at March 29, 2016 06:08 PM (w4NZ8)

68 Nood,not that much is going on here

Posted by: Skip at March 29, 2016 06:08 PM (fizMZ)

69 Kloppenhoppenburgerfuhrer is back? Awesome

Posted by: chemjeff at March 29, 2016 06:10 PM (5p18q)

70 It really isn't fair. Conservative women are obviously going to be smarter and happier than liberal women, but adding looks on top of all that is really piling on.

https://localtvwiti.files.wordpress.com/2016/02/scowis1.jpg

Posted by: boomstick at March 29, 2016 07:20 PM (rH7oz)

71 Would be useful in the primaries if the DD had delegate counts. Knowing who won a state doesn't really tell you anything important about how the delegates are divvied up.

I've made the suggestion a number of times on twitter and not received a response, so will do the same here and also not get one.

But I hope that someone actually takes note of it because while knowing the "winner" in a state is cool, it really isn't useful in the context of a Presidential primary, except in the cases where its winner take all, but even then it would be nice to see that translated into how many delegates were won.

Just put it on the list of improvements for the next cycle.

Posted by: wodun at March 29, 2016 08:46 PM (DD0s8)

Processing 0.01, elapsed 0.0152 seconds.
14 queries taking 0.0059 seconds, 79 records returned.
Page size 49 kb.
Powered by Minx 0.8 beta.