aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com
CBD:
cbd.aoshq at gee mail.com
Buck:
buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com
joe mannix:
mannix2024 at proton.me
MisHum:
petmorons at gee mail.com
J.J. Sefton:
sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com
Liveblogging Fifty Shades of Gray
It just started on HBO "Zone," wtf that is.
I'll live blog it. All right. Some character development. We saw "Christian Gray" has a sweet walk-in closet (though not as opulent as I would have figured), and there was some Huge character reveal on Anastasia. Asked if she had her GPS, she said "Sure I have my GPS, I also have a four point oh GPA." What?Okay so his office is very Gray. It's not terrible, as far as the lighting and stuff. The sky is gray, the outside buildings are gray, everything's Gray. Because he's GRAY you dig?!
They are discussing... something. None of this matters. We're supposed to be looking at how they react to each other subliminally. That doesn't matter anyway. "I enjoy various physical pursuits" is how he answers about hobbies. "Are you gay, Mr. Gray?" "No, Anastasia, I am not gay." Then we see fingers drumming to indicate she's Undone in his sexual presence. His assistant comes in. She's hot. Also wearing Gray. BECAUSE HE'S GRAY, YOU SEE? I'm going to the comments now, as posting takes too long.Comments
(Jump to bottom of comments)Posted by: rickl at February 10, 2016 09:49 PM (sdi6R)
Posted by: rickl at February 10, 2016 09:49 PM (sdi6R)
Posted by: Pixy and the Hamsters at February 10, 2016 09:49 PM (2yngH)
Posted by: rickl at February 10, 2016 09:49 PM (sdi6R)
Posted by: Kindltot at February 10, 2016 09:50 PM (q2o38)
Posted by: phadedjaded at February 10, 2016 09:50 PM (q0Dv1)
Posted by: Zettai Ryoiki, Proctologist to the Stars at February 10, 2016 09:51 PM (5csB/)
Posted by: weft cut-loop at February 10, 2016 09:51 PM (wCF3s)
Posted by: mnw (rare and flounced) at February 10, 2016 09:51 PM (2fV9Y)
Posted by: L, Elle at February 10, 2016 09:51 PM (2x3L+)
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc. etc. at February 10, 2016 09:51 PM (ANVXm)
Posted by: Jinx the Cat at February 10, 2016 09:52 PM (TnUKj)
Posted by: Cloyd Freud, Unemployed at February 10, 2016 09:52 PM (u5gzz)
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc. etc. at February 10, 2016 09:52 PM (ANVXm)
Posted by: TexasDan at February 10, 2016 09:52 PM (/q+VA)
Posted by: Zettai Ryoiki, Proctologist to the Stars at February 10, 2016 09:53 PM (5csB/)
Posted by: Burnt Toast at February 10, 2016 09:53 PM (T78UI)
Posted by: rickl at February 10, 2016 09:49 PM (sdi6R)
Telling people so that they manderstand is Ace's good subject today.
Posted by: BourbonChicken at February 10, 2016 09:53 PM (VdICR)
Posted by: Village Idiot's Apprentice at February 10, 2016 09:54 PM (ptqRm)
Posted by: Masturbatin' Pete at February 10, 2016 09:54 PM (IRqa0)
Posted by: TexasDan
*claws out eyeballs*
Posted by: Sam Neill at February 10, 2016 09:54 PM (wCF3s)
But somewhere along the line, (s)he came over to the Dark Side.
I would like to hear the rest of that story.
Posted by: OregonMuse at February 10, 2016 09:55 PM (maOV6)
Posted by: eman at February 10, 2016 09:55 PM (MQEz6)
So apparently Trump Derangement Syndrome is a real thing.
I mean, I would vote for Sanders before I'd vote for Bloomberg. And I'd write in my cat's name before I'd vote for Sanders.
Trump has not yet shown himself to be a tinpot dictator, while Bloomberg long ago removed all doubt.
Posted by: rickl at February 10, 2016 09:55 PM (sdi6R)
Posted by: Dead Parrot Society at February 10, 2016 09:55 PM (AJeMv)
Posted by: L, Elle at February 10, 2016 09:55 PM (2x3L+)
Posted by: Anon Y. Mous at February 10, 2016 09:56 PM (R+30W)
Posted by: Ed Anger at February 10, 2016 09:56 PM (RcpcZ)
Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1), (T) at February 10, 2016 09:57 PM (OQ9R7)
Posted by: ALH at February 10, 2016 09:57 PM (Z56vq)
Posted by: Burn the Witch at February 10, 2016 09:58 PM (Wckf4)
Posted by: eman
Since we haven't seen what that looks like, he obviously has the good sense to not ever dance.
That said, I have to imagine were he forced to, he would look like Ed Grimley.
Posted by: weft cut-loop at February 10, 2016 09:58 PM (wCF3s)
The system is down
Posted by: Insomniac - Pale Horse/Death 2016 at February 10, 2016 09:59 PM (kpqmD)
Posted by: Harry Paratestes at February 10, 2016 09:59 PM (AkOaV)
Posted by: eman at February 10, 2016 09:59 PM (MQEz6)
That said, I have to imagine were he forced to, he would look like Ed Grimley.
Posted by: weft cut-loop at February 10, 2016 09:58 PM (wCF3s)
SNL, but you may not call it 'dancing'.
Posted by: Burnt Toast at February 10, 2016 10:00 PM (T78UI)
Posted by: Ralph at February 10, 2016 10:00 PM (U9Qbt)
Posted by: BunkerinTheBurbs at February 10, 2016 10:00 PM (bA+CL)
Posted by: The Hamsters at February 10, 2016 10:00 PM (1FhAQ)
Posted by: Ricardo Kill at February 10, 2016 10:01 PM (9ym/8)
Posted by: Marcel Marceau at February 10, 2016 10:01 PM (DrCtv)
32 *Trump dance*
Posted by: eman
Since we haven't seen what that looks like, he obviously has the good sense to not ever dance.
That said, I have to imagine were he forced to, he would look like Ed Grimley.
Posted by: weft cut-loop at February 10, 2016 09:58 PM (wCF3s)
It doesn't mean Trump is dancing.
Posted by: eman at February 10, 2016 10:01 PM (MQEz6)
Posted by: Diogenes at February 10, 2016 10:01 PM (08Znv)
Posted by: Who? at February 10, 2016 10:01 PM (BO/km)
Posted by: BunkerinTheBurbs at February 10, 2016 10:02 PM (bA+CL)
Zombie is, as far as I can tell, Bay Area born and bred. That (s)he can string together a coherent sentence with that handicap is a testament to his/her intellect and drive.
And Zombie, if you are around, pleae cop to a gender...this he/she/it shit is tiresome.
I guess we could call you they, in the style of the latest generation of non gender-binary ...things.
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at February 10, 2016 10:02 PM (Zu3d9)
Posted by: GnuBreed at February 10, 2016 10:03 PM (gyKtp)
Posted by: mememilk at February 10, 2016 10:03 PM (cAA5P)
Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1), (T) at February 10, 2016 10:03 PM (OQ9R7)
Posted by: Hillary! and her Rainbow Exoskeleton at February 10, 2016 10:03 PM (rUc9h)
Zombie has talked about her path before. She was smart and observant in the Bay Area, and was troubled by the inconsistencies in the Left. She also had a crazy family life early on, but September 11th 2001 was the largest shock.
She most likely will have a more succinct explanation.
Posted by: NaCly Dog at February 10, 2016 10:03 PM (u82oZ)
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo
I think xombies give up sex for lent and pretty much ever.
Posted by: weft cut-loop at February 10, 2016 10:03 PM (wCF3s)
Posted by: Ralph at February 10, 2016 10:03 PM (U9Qbt)
Posted by: Pappy O'Daniel at February 10, 2016 10:03 PM (oVJmc)
You know, if we get some Pom's to run the wheel I might chip in a few bucks. Of course, upgrading to a bigger wheel and all, I get it.
Posted by: Ricardo Kill at February 10, 2016 10:04 PM (9ym/8)
Posted by: weft cut-loop at February 10, 2016 09:58 PM
----
Have you seen the SNL Trump of Wings skit? He actually has rhythm and can dance to a beat.
Posted by: L, Elle at February 10, 2016 10:04 PM (2x3L+)
Posted by: crazywalt77 at February 10, 2016 10:05 PM (9HBek)
Posted by: eman at February 10, 2016 09:55 PM (MQEz6)
The Trumpty Dance is your chance to do the Trump
Do me baby
Do the Trumpty Trump
Do the Trumpty Trump
Posted by: Insomniac - Pale Horse/Death 2016 at February 10, 2016 10:05 PM (kpqmD)
Posted by: Who? at February 10, 2016 10:07 PM (BO/km)
Like blood coming out of the hamsters ... whatever.
Posted by: @votermom at February 10, 2016 10:07 PM (cbfNE)
Posted by: L, Elle
No. I only watch clips when Ace 'forces' us to.
Posted by: weft cut-loop at February 10, 2016 10:07 PM (wCF3s)
Posted by: TexasDan at February 10, 2016 10:07 PM (/q+VA)
Posted by: GnuBreed at February 10, 2016 10:07 PM (gyKtp)
Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1), (T) at February 10, 2016 10:07 PM (OQ9R7)
Posted by: chemjeff - PuppyMonkeyBaby '16 at February 10, 2016 10:07 PM (uZNvH)
Posted by: Ricardo Kill at February 10, 2016 10:07 PM (9ym/8)
Posted by: Bill Clinton and Richard Gere, screaming from the Outer Darkness at February 10, 2016 10:08 PM (rUc9h)
I think xombies give up sex for lent and pretty much ever.
Posted by: weft cut-loop at February 10, 2016 10:03 PM (wCF3s)
Maybe zombie should start spelling xis/xer name that way.
Posted by: rickl at February 10, 2016 10:08 PM (sdi6R)
Posted by: BunkerinTheBurbs at February 10, 2016 10:00 PM (bA+CL)
*****
I'll be headed your way on the way to North GA iffen we can combine supplies and resources and shit.
Posted by: Tim in GA at February 10, 2016 10:08 PM (YLidQ)
Posted by: Ricardo Kill at February 10, 2016 10:09 PM (9ym/8)
Posted by: zombie Michael Hutchence at February 10, 2016 10:09 PM (Kxl7Z)
Most don't care about the comments when you can see them.
Posted by: Ricardo Kill at February 10, 2016 10:07 PM (9ym/
If a comment is made and nobody sees it, does that comment exist?
Posted by: Insomniac - Pale Horse/Death 2016 at February 10, 2016 10:09 PM (kpqmD)
She needs to protect her identity. But she has revealed some of her family saga, which would make a good HBO mini-series. Her website is brilliant, but some things seen can never be unseen.
Esp. "Breast not Bombs", and "Folsom Street Fairs." You have been warned.
Posted by: NaCly Dog at February 10, 2016 10:09 PM (u82oZ)
*claws out eyeballs*
Posted by: Sam Neill at February 10, 2016 09:54 PM (wCF3s)
Yeah that movie got weird, huh? Like in a really incoherent way.
Posted by: TexasDan at February 10, 2016 10:09 PM (/q+VA)
Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1), (T) at February 10, 2016 10:07 PM (OQ9R7)
Zombie is literally on the Mooselimb death threat list. He / she is always in my Prayers.
Posted by: @votermom at February 10, 2016 10:09 PM (cbfNE)
Posted by: Ricardo Kill at February 10, 2016 10:10 PM (9ym/8)
Posted by: Dead Parrot Society at February 10, 2016 10:10 PM (AJeMv)
In other words, you wont be in blogging...but the hamster will have do-nothing jobs. With fat pensions.
Other than the loss of of some basic Constitutional freedoms , whats not to like?
Posted by: Lower Class person whose opinions need to be guided at February 10, 2016 10:10 PM (jagfX)
Posted by: The Trees at February 10, 2016 10:10 PM (JA5Qu)
Posted by: L, Elle at February 10, 2016 10:10 PM (2x3L+)
There was an 'ette with a website/blog about dried food storage in them there jars.
Anyone happen to have the link?
Posted by: weft cut-loop at February 10, 2016 10:10 PM (wCF3s)
Posted by: Hamster on Trump's head. at February 10, 2016 10:10 PM (+LunL)
The meth delivery the hamsters subsist upon was laced with sunflower and bird seed. Their little organs burst when confronted by the alien metabolic task of digestion.
Posted by: Fritz at February 10, 2016 10:11 PM (BngQR)
Oh yes....I have seen the Folsom St. Fair pictorial.
Eh....male or female isn't much in the way of identification. But if that's how he rolls......
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at February 10, 2016 10:11 PM (Zu3d9)
It exists, but, had no impact.
Posted by: Ricardo Kill at February 10, 2016 10:11 PM (9ym/8)
--------------
You are on the nice list sir. I hope you are doing well.
Posted by: BunkerinTheBurbs at February 10, 2016 10:11 PM (bA+CL)
She needs to protect her identity. But she has revealed some of her family saga, which would make a good HBO mini-series. Her website is brilliant, but some things seen can never be unseen.
Esp. "Breast not Bombs", and "Folsom Street Fairs." You have been warned.
Posted by: NaCly Dog at February 10, 2016 10:09 PM (u82oZ)
Dear sweet Jesus Christ on a pogo stick, you do NOT want to look at the Folsom Street Fair or Up Your Alley photoessays. Things once seen cannot be unseen.
Posted by: Insomniac - Pale Horse/Death 2016 at February 10, 2016 10:11 PM (kpqmD)
Posted by: jukin Former Republican at February 10, 2016 10:12 PM (2yRD2)
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at February 10, 2016 10:12 PM (n22zQ)
Posted by: willow at February 10, 2016 10:12 PM (9XzdI)
Anyone happen to have the link?
Posted by: weft cut-loop at February 10, 2016 10:10 PM (wCF3s)
Food in Jars, or another one?
http://foodinjars.com/
Posted by: Kindltot at February 10, 2016 10:12 PM (q2o38)
lots of self control.
Posted by: concrete girl at February 10, 2016 10:12 PM (0KgAM)
Posted by: NaCly Dog at February 10, 2016 10:12 PM (u82oZ)
Posted by: Ricardo Kill at February 10, 2016 10:12 PM (9ym/8)
Posted by: L, Elle at February 10, 2016 10:10 PM (2x3L+)
Yeah, me too, but I wonder if that's because we are female.
Do the male commenters tend to assume they're male?
Posted by: @votermom at February 10, 2016 10:13 PM (cbfNE)
Posted by: Pappy O'Daniel at February 10, 2016 10:13 PM (oVJmc)
Posted by: BunkerinTheBurbs at February 10, 2016 10:11 PM (bA+CL)
******
Livin' the dream, one Crown Vic at a time. I hope this finds you doing better than that.
Did my lazy ass roommate ever get in touch?
Posted by: Tim in GA at February 10, 2016 10:13 PM (YLidQ)
still someone has to write the history of america. and he'she'it' has the guts .
Posted by: willow at February 10, 2016 10:14 PM (9XzdI)
Here's what I was posting...
Because it wasn't sold to them. But they know they've lost freedom. Can't smoke here. Can't drink this. Have to flush three times. That drink is too big. No more pastries because you can't use lard. All of the pissant nanny state trash we've had loaded on us, every one of them takes or freedom away and the GOP has never sold that. Its a winning approach even with low info voters.
Posted by: Christopher Taylor at February 10, 2016 08:43 PM (39g3+)
_________
Good point.
So how is it a random bunch of commenters on a blog can figure all this out, but expert consultants making $30K a month running campaigns miss it all?
Posted by: Monsieur Moo Moo at February 10, 2016 08:45 PM
Instead of paying consultants they should just crowd source the messaging to the Horde.
I remember back in 2012 there were plenty good ideas posted here that the Romney campaign never even came close to in what they used.
Why you might mention that there are billions of $$ unaccounted for while Hill was SOS which I never heard noted.
Posted by: Farmer at February 10, 2016 10:14 PM (o/90i)
Posted by: BunkerinTheBurbs at February 10, 2016 10:14 PM (bA+CL)
----
Idk. My main reason for wanting to know their gender is so that I don't accidentally flirt with women.
Posted by: L, Elle at February 10, 2016 10:14 PM (2x3L+)
Posted by: TexasDan at February 10, 2016 10:14 PM (/q+VA)
Posted by: publius (not Breitbart publius) at February 10, 2016 10:15 PM (dvuhZ)
Like you could get the bloody English to do anything.
Spend the money on some Scottish engineers to get things moving at warp speed.
Then, hire some gerbils for the Barrel.
Posted by: Duncanthrax the Bellicose at February 10, 2016 10:15 PM (sOhww)
-------
We have the love of our cousins to comfort us in our time of need.
Posted by: BunkerinTheBurbs at February 10, 2016 10:16 PM (bA+CL)
Not necessarily. If zombie's a chick that's news to me. Fen sorta outed itself a while back. I just happened to be around when it did.
It's all "Crying Game" around here.
Posted by: Ricardo Kill at February 10, 2016 10:16 PM (9ym/8)
Posted by: NaCly Dog at February 10, 2016 10:16 PM (u82oZ)
http://foodinjars.com/
Posted by: Kindltot
Mmm, another one. I dont' think she had/has a book out.
Posted by: weft cut-loop at February 10, 2016 10:16 PM (wCF3s)
I've always respected Zombie's work.
Posted by: Dave in Fla at February 10, 2016 10:16 PM (kBIIG)
well depends on how we all view the mariages we are in i guess.
sometimes we wake up and sometimes we won't.
Posted by: willow at February 10, 2016 10:16 PM (9XzdI)
Them Hamster Kickers
How about Them Hamster Kickers,
Ain't they crumbs?
Kickin' them Hamsters,
In they buns.
Kickin' them Afghans,
Kickin' them mutts,
Kickin' them puppy Hamsters,
Poor little butts.
Look at Them Hamster Kickers,
Ain't they cute?
Some use a shower-shoe,
Some use a boot.
Them dadgum Hamster Kickers,
Ain't they mean?
Run 'round kickin',
Ever Hamster what's seen.
How to be a Hamster Kicker?
Don't need a ticket.
Find an old Hamster,
Haul off and kick it!
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at February 10, 2016 10:17 PM (n22zQ)
Posted by: L, Elle at February 10, 2016 10:17 PM (2x3L+)
Posted by: Notsothoreau at February 10, 2016 10:17 PM (Lqy/e)
It's an NBC link, because copyrights.
https://tinyurl.com/j6u2wxs
Posted by: Dead Parrot Society at February 10, 2016 10:17 PM (AJeMv)
Did my lazy ass roommate ever get in touch?
-----
I'm doing. About to hit a weeks vacation in WNC with the kids, so life ain't half bad.
Never heard from him.
Posted by: BunkerinTheBurbs at February 10, 2016 10:17 PM (bA+CL)
Posted by: @votermom at February 10, 2016 10:18 PM (cbfNE)
What if ya'll hit it off?
*wiggles eyebrows*
Posted by: Ricardo Kill at February 10, 2016 10:18 PM (9ym/8)
Posted by: willow at February 10, 2016 10:18 PM (9XzdI)
Posted by: NaCly Dog at February 10, 2016 10:18 PM (u82oZ)
Posted by: TexasDan at February 10, 2016 10:14 PM (/q+VA)
*****
Grammie will be missed. This is going to put a real crimp in her upcoming nuptials and Honeymoon.
I believe suspended animation is the term we need here.
Posted by: Tim in GA at February 10, 2016 10:18 PM (YLidQ)
well depends on how we all view the mariages we are in i guess.
sometimes we wake up and sometimes we won't.
Posted by: willow at February 10, 2016 10:16 PM (9XzdI)
I like grammie so I'm not going to rain on her parade. My personal views on marriage - especially with regard to how it treats men - I've expressed here on a number of occasions.
Posted by: Insomniac - Pale Horse/Death 2016 at February 10, 2016 10:19 PM (kpqmD)
Posted by: L, Elle at February 10, 2016 10:10 PM (2x3L+)
Yeah, me too, but I wonder if that's because we are female.
Do the male commenters tend to assume they're male?
Posted by: @votermom at February 10, 2016 10:13 PM (cbfNE)
No, actually. I think they're both female.
Posted by: rickl at February 10, 2016 10:19 PM (sdi6R)
Do the male commenters tend to assume they're male?
Posted by: @votermom at February 10, 2016 10:13 PM (cbfNE)
No, I don't. But it doesn't matter. I don't say, "that was a good comment for a woman" I say "I wish I could talk like that."
Posted by: Kindltot at February 10, 2016 10:20 PM (q2o38)
Posted by: willow at February 10, 2016 10:14 PM
They call her Mellow Willow
That's right, yeah
Posted by: zombie Donovan at February 10, 2016 10:20 PM (sOhww)
here she is filled with hope and joy.
don't screw with that.!
Posted by: willow at February 10, 2016 10:20 PM (9XzdI)
Posted by: BunkerinTheBurbs at February 10, 2016 10:14 PM (bA+CL)
Yes she's a chick, but not a lesbian.
Posted by: Blano at February 10, 2016 10:20 PM (heN73)
Try not to kick anymore hamsters.
Posted by: @votermom at February 10, 2016 10:21 PM (cbfNE)
Posted by: Beer Ninja at February 10, 2016 10:21 PM (KBjNt)
---------------
Too late Fenelon already done her in.
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc. etc. at February 10, 2016 10:21 PM (ANVXm)
Apparently LEOs have tightened up their cordon and the holdouts are going into full freakout mode.
Posted by: Country Singer at February 10, 2016 10:21 PM (GUBah)
Posted by: L, Elle at February 10, 2016 10:22 PM (2x3L+)
well depends on how we all view the mariages we are in i guess.
sometimes we wake up and sometimes we won't.
Posted by: willow at February 10, 2016 10:16 PM (9XzdI)
Fenelon already tried to kill grammie off over a fruit salad or green bean casserole or something. But grammie's a survivor. Unlike buzzion.
Posted by: Blano at February 10, 2016 10:22 PM (heN73)
Never heard from him.
Posted by: BunkerinTheBurbs at February 10, 2016 10:17 PM (bA+CL)
*****
I'm not surprised. *shakes head and kicks something*
Enjoy the Vacay.
Posted by: Tim in GA at February 10, 2016 10:22 PM (YLidQ)
Posted by: L, Elle at February 10, 2016 10:10 PM (2x3L+)
Yeah, me too, but I wonder if that's because we are female.
Do the male commenters tend to assume they're male?
Posted by: @votermom at February 10, 2016 10:13 PM
FenSpoke has said she's female openly in the past.
Zombie wants to remain anonymous, but as a male I read it as a male posting, just hints in the attitude.
Not ready to buy cooth's theory that zombie is a 6'5" black male yet tho.
Posted by: Farmer at February 10, 2016 10:22 PM (o/90i)
Posted by: Insomniac - Pale Horse/Death 2016 at February 10, 2016 10:19 PM (kpqmD)
giggling, yes i do remember.
we almost came to blows over it. and i sympathize from the other side that Knows how it hurts to get the shaft end!
still i find you amazing and too cute . sincerely , willow
Posted by: willow at February 10, 2016 10:23 PM (9XzdI)
Posted by: Blano at February 10, 2016 10:22 PM (heN73)
well see how WE could turn on a dime!
fenelon you say?
LOL
Posted by: willow at February 10, 2016 10:24 PM (9XzdI)
Posted by: Tim in GA at February 10, 2016 10:25 PM (YLidQ)
https://notyourmomsfoodstorage.wordpress.com/
I linked to this blog in the Food Thread.....
Posted by: CharlieBrown'sDildo at February 10, 2016 10:25 PM (Zu3d9)
Posted by: willow at February 10, 2016 10:26 PM (9XzdI)
Posted by: Notsothoreau/i]
Thanks, but I don't think that's it.
It had dried soup mixes in jars. The whole focus was on dried food like dried onion flakes with lentils and beans and dried tomato flakes, etc.
Posted by: weft cut-loop at February 10, 2016 10:26 PM (wCF3s)
Trump is an asshole. Also, so are the rest of em.
Posted by: DC in River City at February 10, 2016 10:27 PM (e+1S5)
Posted by: Country Singer at February 10, 2016 10:27 PM (GUBah)
Posted by: willow at February 10, 2016 10:28 PM (9XzdI)
Posted by: willow at February 10, 2016 10:29 PM (9XzdI)
Posted by: Country Singer at February 10, 2016 10:29 PM (GUBah)
Posted by: willow at February 10, 2016 10:23 PM (9XzdI)
You are most generous and kind, dear willow.
Posted by: Insomniac - Pale Horse/Death 2016 at February 10, 2016 10:30 PM (kpqmD)
In zombie's case, I know she is surrounded by leftists in San Fran, including her radical family, and wants to stay anonymous. She apparently is still "passing" as a lefty. I've wondered, if we passed zombie in the street without knowing her, if we'd think "Oh, yet another insane Pelosi voter."
And yes, both of them are highly valued here, in their own ways.
Posted by: Donna&&&&V (a white) (whitely brandishing ampersand privilege ) at February 10, 2016 10:32 PM (P8951)
Posted by: willow at February 10, 2016 10:32 PM (9XzdI)
small everywhere.
Posted by: willow at February 10, 2016 10:26 PM (9XzdI)
******
*Arches eyebrow*
You know the rule.....
Posted by: Tim in GA at February 10, 2016 10:33 PM (YLidQ)
Posted by: weft cut-loop at February 10, 2016 10:34 PM (wCF3s)
Posted by: Bubba at February 10, 2016 10:34 PM (FhT/k)
I've always respected Zombie's work.
Posted by: Dave in Fla at February 10, 2016 10:16 PM
Yep, I was at LFG back then, what yr was it he went insane?
Ditto on respecting zombie's work.
Posted by: Farmer at February 10, 2016 10:34 PM (o/90i)
Didn't hurt my eyes. He said with his image and flash blocker on.
Posted by: Ralph at February 10, 2016 10:40 PM (RgjZX)
That was in 2005, I think. In 2004, there was a meetup in Chicago. I was there, were you? Lots of people showed up, including Iowahawk. I didn't get to introduce myself and talk to everyone.
I recall the 2004 Dem convention was on the TV in the dive bar we met in and John F'ing Kerry had just reported for duty, that's how I can remember the year.
Posted by: Donna&&&&V (a white) (whitely brandishing ampersand privilege ) at February 10, 2016 10:44 PM (P8951)
Yep, I was at LFG back then, what yr was it he went insane?
Posted by: Farmer at February 10, 2016 10:34 PM (o/90i)
-----
I believe it was 2009. Chuck put forth an essay, "Ten Reasons I Parted Ways with the Right" in October of that year, but had been slipping left for some time before that.
His spectacular banning rampages, attempts at scrubbing his past, bizarre cuntish whining about being cyber-stalked, and doxxing of long time commenters *using information from monetary donations they had made to him* followed after.
Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at February 10, 2016 10:49 PM (6sWDC)
A'ight stop whatcha doin'
'Cause I'm about to ruin
The whole economy that you're used-to
I look funny...
'cause YO!, I'm makin' money
See so yo, World I hope you're ready for me.
Now gather 'round
I'm the new dude in town
And my loudness is a product of The Underground.
I suck up all the oxygen you got on your shelf...
So just -Let -Me -In-tro-duce -Myself
My name is Trumpty
-pronounced with an "umpty"
Yo!, ladies -oh how I'd like to bunk thee
But with Milania in the bullpen?
Please allow me to bump thee
I'm steppin' tall, y'all
But just like Humpty Dumpty?
I'm gonna fall when Ted Cruz punks me.
I like to lie; I like when you debunk me
-I'm spunky
-I like my oatmeal lumpy.
I'm sick-with-this.
Ain't got no PAC
Sometimes I get ridiculous
-I'll beat upon jackasses; I'm mellifluous
Hey, yo! Fat Girl!
C'mere, are you ticklish?
-Yeah, I called you fat
Look at me, I'm winning
/Digital Underground-Humpty
Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1), (T) at February 10, 2016 11:04 PM (OQ9R7)
Posted by: Slapweasel, (Cold1), (T) at February 10, 2016 11:05 PM (OQ9R7)
Posted by: Steamboat McGoo at February 10, 2016 11:54 PM (RK1ZH)
Posted by: Carol at February 11, 2016 12:03 AM (sj3Ax)
Posted by: Lauren at February 11, 2016 12:03 AM (3DIzJ)
Posted by: weft cut-loop at February 11, 2016 12:04 AM (wCF3s)
Her eyebrow quirked like "WELL! Who's THIS guy?!"
This is probably a pretty good question to ask a girl if you want to get her into bed. I'll actually remember this.
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 12:05 AM (dciA+)
This is the part where another Girl has to be totally curious about the Heroine's sex life. This is rule in rom-coms. Everyone needs to care about who the Heroine's in love with.
I guess this is a big fantasy women harbor, that other people should be all interested in who they like and stuff.
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 12:06 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: Harry Reid at February 11, 2016 12:07 AM (zmW4B)
I guess we know what she's thinking huh?
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 12:08 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: L, Elle at February 11, 2016 12:08 AM (2x3L+)
Who knows. I guess she's an intern.
Christian Grey just showed up. he's wearing a GREY sweater. BECAUSE GREY!!!!
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 12:09 AM (dciA+)
not there yet! Still in a nervous flirting mode.
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 12:09 AM (dciA+)
Oh she picked up on it: "You're the complete serial killer."
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 12:10 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 12:11 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 12:11 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: ace
Pro-tip: just be seen reading this shiz:
What Jane Austen Ate and Charles Dickens Knew: From Fox Hunting to Whist-the Facts of Daily Life in Nineteenth-Century England
It's actually a fun read. *wink* *wink* *wink*
Posted by: weft cut-loop at February 11, 2016 12:12 AM (wCF3s)
No man. I went to a women's college. Girls really are like that. I know so many, many things about the genitals of men I've never even met.
Posted by: Lauren at February 11, 2016 12:12 AM (3DIzJ)
The sexual tension is so thick you could paint it GREY.
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 12:13 AM (dciA+)
And didn't you once stupidly try to read this book not realizing it was a stupid mommy porn fantasy about twilight?
Posted by: buzzion at February 11, 2016 12:13 AM (zt+N6)
sounds very interesting, seriously. I'll get that.
Wait, we have a moment. He's touching her head. I guess this is Sexy.
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 12:14 AM (dciA+)
Okay, this Grey guy has some moves.
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 12:15 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: weft cut-loop at February 11, 2016 12:15 AM (wCF3s)
Posted by: little bill at February 11, 2016 12:15 AM (AG7GB)
Note he did this AFTER telling her "You must stay clear of me. My sexual mojo is too hot for your waifish form to enclose."
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 12:16 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: little bill at February 11, 2016 12:16 AM (AG7GB)
i would actually take that as a minor good sign. nervous energy and all.
then again, she might do that all the time.
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 12:17 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: L, Elle at February 11, 2016 12:17 AM (2x3L+)
She's given him a drunken booty call from a bar phone because you know bars still have bar phones and no one has cell phones. He himself had a handset phone. (It was black -- or DARK GREY.)
She wouldn't tell him where she was calling for, but, GET THIS -- he used star six nine to figure out what bar it was.
Wow that's so smart. I guess that's why she called from the bar phone.
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 12:18 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: L, Elle at February 11, 2016 12:19 AM (2x3L+)
This actually makes sense in the book. Her roommate is scheduled to interview him for the college paper, but comes down with the flu, so she keeps the appointment as a last-minute substitute.
Posted by: jaed at February 11, 2016 12:20 AM (7LR+G)
Posted by: weft cut-loop at February 11, 2016 12:20 AM (wCF3s)
Now he's taking her to his hotel. She passed out. He's carrying her there anyway.
But this is going to be one of those "I didn't touch you. I will not touch you, until you beg it of me" things.
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 12:20 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 12:21 AM (dciA+)
So this is a horrible flashback to Jr High then?
Posted by: Lauren at February 11, 2016 12:21 AM (f3Iw2)
Wow that's so smart. I guess that's why she called from the bar phone.
Posted by: ace
Good thing he wasn't logged in to CompuServe, she would've gotten the busy signal.
Posted by: Prince Ludwig the #Problematic at February 11, 2016 12:21 AM (zmW4B)
Posted by: D. Trump at February 11, 2016 12:21 AM (H9MG5)
no i'm literally exactly where i'm telling you i am
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 12:21 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: Apostate at February 11, 2016 12:22 AM (zaVwL)
Annnnnnd... his shirt's off. "I gotta go take a shower."
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 12:22 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: ace
I still think it needed more pantaloons.
Posted by: weft cut-loop at February 11, 2016 12:24 AM (wCF3s)
Then he went into the bathroom, I assume to take a dump.
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 12:24 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: buzzion at February 11, 2016 12:24 AM (zt+N6)
Posted by: L, Elle at February 11, 2016 12:24 AM (2x3L+)
Posted by: Burn the Witch at February 11, 2016 12:25 AM (Wckf4)
Then he went into the bathroom, I assume to take a dump.
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 12:24 AM (dciA+)
Remember, after every line they say to each other it should end in "Edward" or "Bella."
Posted by: buzzion at February 11, 2016 12:25 AM (zt+N6)
OH SHIT HE JUST SAID WHAT I SAID HE SAID, almost.
He said "I won't touch you -- not until I have your written consent."
But he couldn't wait for that. They're smooching in an elevator. He probably feels pretty light on his feet now, after that dump he just took.
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 12:25 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: L, Elle at February 11, 2016 12:24 AM (2x3L+)
"You cannot handle the pancakes I could make for you"
Posted by: buzzion at February 11, 2016 12:26 AM (zt+N6)
Oh he did say it, but he was making fun of this other guy, who was boning her roommate.
Now the two gals are gabbing about the dudes they're having sex with, though Anna didn't have sex with him (as far as she knows).
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 12:27 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: weft cut-loop at February 11, 2016 12:28 AM (wCF3s)
Little rule I think applies throughout the universe: When you put a girl in your helicopter, you get to enter her later that night. I doubt this rule has ever not held.
Oh he's a pilot too.
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 12:29 AM (dciA+)
I guess they started in whatever town Bella lives in.
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 12:29 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: buzzion at February 11, 2016 12:30 AM (zt+N6)
Posted by: weft cut-loop
I'm taking notes on how to handle the economy. Beat it, humiliate it and it will give us what we want.
Posted by: Feel the Bern at February 11, 2016 12:30 AM (zmW4B)
Asked if he plays piano, he says "Yes." Of course he does.
Anna in fact says "Of course you do.'
Now he has her signing a Non Disclosure Agreement about All the Boning they're going to be doing.
She signs it without reading it.
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 12:31 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: Burn the Witch at February 11, 2016 12:31 AM (Wckf4)
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 12:31 AM (dciA+)
Oh he's a pilot too.
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 12:29 AM (dciA+)
*******
Well, damn. I just fly Cessnas for sport, not a living, but was not aware this was even an option for me. Some interior highlights are grey. Shit.
Posted by: Tim in GA at February 11, 2016 12:33 AM (YLidQ)
Oh he's a pilot too.
Posted by: ace
Plots are amazingly unsuspectingly indecipherable.
Posted by: Indian Jurassic World owner at February 11, 2016 12:33 AM (wCF3s)
The room has a lot of handcuffs, whips, ropes. I mean, a lot.
Um, how many whips do you need? If I were into whips, I think I'd just need like three. My regular whip, my classy Sunday Go to Church Whip, and my muddy weather whip. This guy has like 100 whips.
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 12:33 AM (dciA+)
"I'm a dominant. I will not take you until you submit yourself to me."
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 12:34 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: Lauren at February 11, 2016 12:34 AM (0C2f1)
Posted by: ThunderB at February 11, 2016 12:35 AM (zOTsN)
Posted by: Colorado Alex at February 11, 2016 12:35 AM (fC9RO)
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 12:34 AM (dciA+)
Wait, you're watching the Republican debate?
Posted by: Colorado Alex at February 11, 2016 12:36 AM (fC9RO)
He's giving more rules. When she asks "Why?," he says, "It's the way I am."
He's basically hiring her as a whore, except not paid.
He wants it all in contract up front about what they will and will not do, sexually.
Thsi movie is sort of a SJW Hookup Manual! All the crazy shit they want you to do, this guy actually does!
Oh she's a virgin because of course she's a virgin.
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 12:36 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: Colorado Alex at February 11, 2016 12:35 AM (fC9RO)
And can you just imagine what would happen if his new sub finds out that he's using the same whip on her that he used on his last sub?
Posted by: buzzion at February 11, 2016 12:36 AM (zt+N6)
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 12:34 AM (dciA+)
****
Classic topping from the bottom.
Posted by: Tim in GA at February 11, 2016 12:36 AM (YLidQ)
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 12:37 AM (dciA+)
And can you just imagine what would happen if his new sub finds out
that he's using the same whip on her that he used on his last sub?
Posted by: buzzion at February 11, 2016 12:36 AM (zt+N6)
I once used a whip that didn't match my codpiece. It was the talk of the society pages for weeks. I was mortified.
Posted by: Colorado Alex at February 11, 2016 12:38 AM (fC9RO)
Posted by: I have become SCoaMF, eater of dogs at February 11, 2016 12:38 AM (zmW4B)
Posted by: D. Trump at February 11, 2016 12:38 AM (H9MG5)
Posted by: L, Elle at February 11, 2016 12:38 AM (2x3L+)
Is it the tampon thing? That's literally the only thing I know about the book/movie.
Posted by: Lauren at February 11, 2016 12:38 AM (0C2f1)
Posted by: ThunderB at February 11, 2016 12:38 AM (zOTsN)
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 12:38 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: Lauren at February 11, 2016 12:39 AM (0C2f1)
I think spanking is much better. They should have gone with a lot of spanking instead of whips
Posted by: L, Elle at February 11, 2016 12:38 AM (2x3L+)
Hello there...
Posted by: Colorado Alex at February 11, 2016 12:39 AM (fC9RO)
The Sex Posing continues.
It's really like sex in any other movie so far. There's some wiggling and some "ahhhing" and lots of Posing.
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 12:40 AM (dciA+)
Maybe he's, like, some kind of S and M prepper?
Posted by: D. Trump at February 11, 2016 12:38 AM (H9MG5)
When Lord Humongous rules the wasteland, he'll corner the market supplying the army!
Posted by: Colorado Alex at February 11, 2016 12:40 AM (fC9RO)
230
She's more like a whore intern. Cause she is unpaid. I bet she gets paid later tho in some way
Posted by: ThunderB at February 11, 2016 12:38 AM (zOTsN)
Isn't the whole point of this thing though that its a mary sue wish fulfillment where she's just so amazing he winds up breaking all the rules himself for her?
Posted by: buzzion at February 11, 2016 12:40 AM (zt+N6)
Now there's some Sex Posing on the piano bench, and some Sex Posing Carrying The Woman back to bed.
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 12:41 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 12:41 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: weft cut-loop at February 11, 2016 12:42 AM (wCF3s)
Posted by: buzzion at February 11, 2016 12:42 AM (zt+N6)
She knows which way is up.
"I'm making pancakes," she confirms.
Why do you people doubt me?
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 12:42 AM (dciA+)
no it's boobs but they focus more on his body than hers.
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 12:43 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: ace
But Shrove Tuesday was yesterday.
Posted by: Prince Ludwig the #Problematic at February 11, 2016 12:43 AM (zmW4B)
He's the "tortured soul" who she can fix, who is obsessed with her and is rich as hell
Feminist dream boat
Posted by: ThunderB at February 11, 2016 12:43 AM (zOTsN)
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 12:41 AM (dciA+)
Sounds like a tellanovella or whatever they're called on Univision.
Back to the ONT.
Posted by: Blano at February 11, 2016 12:43 AM (3eoPa)
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 12:44 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: PRNDL at February 11, 2016 12:44 AM (cvXoy)
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 12:38 AM (dciA+)
That's a bad thing?
Posted by: Blano at February 11, 2016 12:45 AM (3eoPa)
-------
Almost wrote a disgusting, dirty reply to you.
Still trying to be good which just sucks.
Posted by: L, Elle at February 11, 2016 12:45 AM (2x3L+)
I would say it's symbolic of something or foreshadowing but I think it's probably just Something Dumb that Happened For No Reason.
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 12:46 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: buzzion at February 11, 2016 12:46 AM (zt+N6)
Posted by: ThunderB at February 11, 2016 12:46 AM (zOTsN)
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 12:47 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 12:47 AM (dciA+)
Magenta.
Posted by: buzzion at February 11, 2016 12:47 AM (zt+N6)
Still trying to be good which just sucks.
Posted by: L, Elle at February 11, 2016 12:45 AM (2x3L+)
Give in to the dark side...
Posted by: Colorado Alex at February 11, 2016 12:48 AM (fC9RO)
Gotta admit, sometimes this guy seems like he's on to some shit!
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 12:48 AM (dciA+)
hey guys guess what color this guest bedroom is?!?!!
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 12:47 AM (dciA+)
Black, with The Cure posters on the wall.
Posted by: Colorado Alex at February 11, 2016 12:48 AM (fC9RO)
Posted by: buzzion at February 11, 2016 12:46 AM (zt+N6)
****
Who among us, honestly, can not say that this is a dream scenario? Come on now....
Posted by: Tim in GA at February 11, 2016 12:48 AM (YLidQ)
Posted by: L, Elle at February 11, 2016 12:48 AM (2x3L+)
Gotta admit, sometimes this guy seems like he's on to some shit!
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 12:48 AM (dciA+)
Oh just wait until he goes totally beta for her and starts doing all that shit.
Posted by: buzzion at February 11, 2016 12:49 AM (zt+N6)
Oh they're driving on a highway now. the highway is GREY.
Because they're on a GREY JOURNEY, YOU UNDERSTAND?
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 12:49 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: ThunderB at February 11, 2016 12:51 AM (zOTsN)
"By giving up control, I felt free." Oh I guess he was a sub at one time, but now, like a VAMPIRE, he has become the Sire Vampire and is now a dom.
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 12:51 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: Lauren at February 11, 2016 12:51 AM (0C2f1)
Just figured out what my problem is. I've been doing it wrong.
Posted by: Blano at February 11, 2016 12:51 AM (3eoPa)
Because they're on a GREY JOURNEY, YOU UNDERSTAND?
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 12:49 AM (dciA+)
*******
The imagery is Kafkaesque. Zapruder like, if you will.
Posted by: Tim in GA at February 11, 2016 12:52 AM (YLidQ)
Posted by: Lauren at February 11, 2016 12:52 AM (0C2f1)
Posted by: L, Elle at February 11, 2016 12:53 AM (2x3L+)
He finally gave her that contract he promised her. (Though he boned her before she signed it.)
more galtalk. Wish I could FF.
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 12:53 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: buzzion at February 11, 2016 12:53 AM (zt+N6)
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 12:54 AM (dciA+)
Their relationship is GRAY, don't you see?
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 12:54 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: buzzion at February 11, 2016 12:55 AM (zt+N6)
Posted by: Lauren at February 11, 2016 12:55 AM (0C2f1)
"The submissive will eat regularly, to maintain her health, from a prescribed list of foods."
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 12:55 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: PRNDL at February 11, 2016 12:55 AM (cvXoy)
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 12:55 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: ace
That's ex post bono rape. We're going to need to form a tribunal.
Posted by: Campus Sex Police at February 11, 2016 12:56 AM (zmW4B)
So you're saying he's a moron?
Posted by: Lauren at February 11, 2016 12:55 AM (0C2f1)
Does he say "Pics or it didn't happen?"
Posted by: buzzion at February 11, 2016 12:56 AM (zt+N6)
Posted by: guy from the 40 Year Old Virgin at February 11, 2016 12:56 AM (H9MG5)
Posted by: L, Elle at February 11, 2016 12:57 AM (2x3L+)
Take that Amishdude!
Posted by: ThunderB at February 11, 2016 12:58 AM (zOTsN)
Posted by: Mr. Pink at February 11, 2016 12:58 AM (zmW4B)
You are all f***ing nuts.
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 12:55 AM (dciA+)
******
Here we have it. This is all that needs to be said on the issue, though it has been uttered many, many times before.
Posted by: Tim in GA at February 11, 2016 12:58 AM (YLidQ)
So you're saying he's a moron?
Posted by: Lauren at February 11, 2016 12:55 AM (0C2f1)
Does he say "Pics or it didn't happen?"
Posted by: buzzion at February 11, 2016 12:56 AM (zt+N6)
And did he say, "but first...."
Posted by: Blano at February 11, 2016 12:58 AM (3eoPa)
Posted by: PRNDL at February 11, 2016 12:59 AM (cvXoy)
He wore a gray suit as he read it.
GREY, the color of sadness, and SEXUAL VIGOR.
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 12:59 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: ThunderB at February 11, 2016 12:59 AM (zOTsN)
Posted by: buzzion at February 11, 2016 12:59 AM (zt+N6)
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 01:00 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 01:00 AM (dciA+)
He's George Costanza?
Posted by: buzzion at February 11, 2016 01:01 AM (zt+N6)
Posted by: Batman at February 11, 2016 01:01 AM (wCF3s)
Posted by: L, Elle at February 11, 2016 01:01 AM (2x3L+)
I'm not sure those two are mutually exclusive in this movie.
Posted by: Lauren at February 11, 2016 01:01 AM (0C2f1)
Ever do this?
It's dumb. It adds nothing.
So this was his attempt to bone her into agreeing to the contract.
"What are you doing to me?" he asks, like he's so confounded by her.
Like I said, he's got moves.
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 01:01 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: Batman at February 11, 2016 01:02 AM (wCF3s)
Posted by: ThunderB at February 11, 2016 01:02 AM (zOTsN)
Posted by: buzzion at February 11, 2016 01:04 AM (zt+N6)
Basically, this movie is about this conflict: He says "I'm just going to bone you, no dinners together, no sleeping in the same bed," and she says "I'm not sure about that, can we discuss it over dinner?"
And he agrees.
So this Cool Dude who knows which way is up is trying to have a fun sexy time and this Evil Woman just keeps tricking him into dinners and sleepovers.
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 01:04 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: Lauren at February 11, 2016 01:04 AM (f3Iw2)
Posted by: L, Elle at February 11, 2016 01:05 AM (2x3L+)
Posted by: Batman at February 11, 2016 01:05 AM (wCF3s)
Yep.
Posted by: Lauren at February 11, 2016 01:04 AM (f3Iw2)
Does it add nothing?
Posted by: buzzion at February 11, 2016 01:05 AM (zt+N6)
Posted by: ThunderB at February 11, 2016 01:06 AM (zOTsN)
>>>so he's doing the ice cube thing on her.
Ever do this?
It's dumb. It adds nothing.<<<
Ain't that the truth.
Posted by: XXX: State of the Union at February 11, 2016 01:06 AM (H9MG5)
Then she said "Strike out vaginal fisting too."
He said, "Are you sure?" Like, he was like, "Do you really want to cross that Rubicon of no vaginal fisting?"
But she was like "yeah, cross it out."
And they're having dinner. Totally tricked this poor guy.
What I wrote above is not a lie. This happened.
They wrote this, then they filmed it.
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 01:06 AM (dciA+)
You think it's going to be sexy but then the ice just sticks to your skin and it's awkward and then it melts.
Posted by: Lauren at February 11, 2016 01:06 AM (f3Iw2)
Posted by: Batman at February 11, 2016 01:08 AM (wCF3s)
"I'm going to f*** you into the middle of next week."
"You're not fighting fair."
"I never do."
He says that, but she just tricked him into having dinner with her.
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 01:08 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: ThunderB at February 11, 2016 01:08 AM (zOTsN)
Then she said "Strike out vaginal fisting too."
He said, "Are you sure?" Like, he was like, "Do you really want to cross that Rubicon of no vaginal fisting?"
But she was like "yeah, cross it out."
And they're having dinner. Totally tricked this poor guy.
What I wrote above is not a lie. This happened.
They wrote this, then they filmed it.
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 01:06 AM (dciA+)
Because I bet a lot of women would be really interested in a guy that wants vaginal and anal fisting to "be on the menu"
Posted by: buzzion at February 11, 2016 01:08 AM (zt+N6)
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 01:09 AM (dciA+)
"
She's pretty crafty for a virgin. Which is the real fantasy here.
Posted by: Lauren at February 11, 2016 01:09 AM (f3Iw2)
Posted by: CaliGirl at February 11, 2016 01:09 AM (egOGm)
Posted by: Christian Grey at February 11, 2016 01:09 AM (zt+N6)
Doing the work so we don't have to.
Posted by: CaliGirl at February 11, 2016 01:10 AM (egOGm)
Posted by: ThunderB at February 11, 2016 01:10 AM (zOTsN)
Boy she has really ruined this guy quickly. He began on top of the world but now he's having dinners with her, sleeping in the same bed, and getting all whiny about a goodbye.
I hope someone kills his villain at the end.
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 01:11 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: Brian Williams at February 11, 2016 01:12 AM (H9MG5)
Posted by: ThunderB at February 11, 2016 01:12 AM (zOTsN)
SHE IS RUINING EVERYTHING! THIS POOR GUY HAD A CONTRACT OF BONING ONLY AND SHE'S GOT HIM HAVING CHAMPAGNE WITH HER NOW!
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 01:13 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: L, Elle at February 11, 2016 01:13 AM (2x3L+)
"The submissive will eat regularly, to maintain her health, from a prescribed list of foods."
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 12:55 AM (dciA+)
You know, say I was a billionaire. Say I was into S&M.
I would still shit myself over a contract like that even existing.
Just one leak of it, just a few cell phone pics of it, could be used to blackmail you forever.
Here's the contract I'd write up:
"You will not talk about my sexual or personal life ever under any circumstances whatsoever."
No contract on this sort of thing should go into much more detail than that. If it's over a page, you're doing it wrong.
Posted by: AD at February 11, 2016 01:14 AM (w7gCr)
Posted by: buzzion at February 11, 2016 01:14 AM (zt+N6)
Whatever. Now he's getting all cross with her (and it feels right to say "Cross").
He's spanking her for rolling her eyes at him.
She'll probably manipulate him into a dinner over this.
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 01:14 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 01:15 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 01:14 AM (dciA+)
Worse. She'll probably get flowers. Do they make Gray roses?
Posted by: buzzion at February 11, 2016 01:16 AM (zt+N6)
She'll probably manipulate him into a dinner over this.
Posted by: ace He's spanking her for rolling her eyes at him.
She'll probably manipulate him into a dinner over this.
Posted by: ace
It's too bad that Johnson and Johnson didn't' just sponsor the whole affair.
Posted by: Batman at February 11, 2016 01:16 AM (wCF3s)
Posted by: ThunderB at February 11, 2016 01:16 AM (zOTsN)
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 01:16 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: Blano at February 11, 2016 01:17 AM (3eoPa)
Probably she's just practicing the Water Works to get her next Dinner and Sleepover.
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 01:17 AM (dciA+)
over the contract, and she proposed striking out, and I'm not lying,
'anal fisting."
Then she said "Strike out vaginal fisting too."
He said, "Are you sure?" Like, he was like, "Do you really want to cross that Rubicon of no vaginal fisting?"
But she was like "yeah, cross it out."
And they're having dinner. Totally tricked this poor guy.
What I wrote above is not a lie. This happened.
They wrote this, then they filmed it.
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 01:06 AM (dciA+)
It's not a proper wedding unless there's vaginal AND anal fisting.
Posted by: Colorado Alex at February 11, 2016 01:17 AM (fC9RO)
Posted by: Prince Ludwig the #Problematic at February 11, 2016 01:17 AM (zmW4B)
Stay Loose, My Friends.
Posted by: Christian Grey - The Least Interesting Dom in the World at February 11, 2016 01:18 AM (zt+N6)
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 01:19 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: ThunderB at February 11, 2016 01:19 AM (zOTsN)
Posted by: liberal larry at February 11, 2016 01:19 AM (7nfma)
Posted by: Lauren at February 11, 2016 01:19 AM (3DIzJ)
Posted by: L, Elle at February 11, 2016 01:20 AM (2x3L+)
Posted by: ThunderB at February 11, 2016 01:20 AM (zOTsN)
Posted by: buzzion at February 11, 2016 01:21 AM (zt+N6)
Which is pretty much the most uncomfortable thing you could say to someone.
He has her kneeling on the ground.
No guy does this. We don't need all these nonsense atmospherics.
She's probably manipulated him into all this crap, too. He was probably just into normal boning but then she subliminally got him into all this prop-work.
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 01:21 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: liberal larry at February 11, 2016 01:22 AM (7nfma)
Posted by: buzzion at February 11, 2016 01:23 AM (zt+N6)
I'm not saying that like i'm into it. I'm just saying, we've been talking about restraints for 83 f***ing minutes.
Big deal, she has on leather cuffs. Oh and he went to third base. Very sexy stuff.
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 01:23 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: ThunderB at February 11, 2016 01:23 AM (zOTsN)
Posted by: buzzion at February 11, 2016 01:24 AM (zt+N6)
It's not a whip, though. I don't know what you call it. It has like a flat square head. Almost like a leather flyswatter.
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 01:25 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: L, Elle at February 11, 2016 01:25 AM (2x3L+)
Posted by: Prince Ludwig the #Problematic at February 11, 2016 01:25 AM (zmW4B)
everything else was kissing, and Dinners, and Sleepovers.
oh and there was more dumb pop music.
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 01:26 AM (dciA+)
It's not a whip, though. I don't know what you call it. It has like a flat square head. Almost like a leather flyswatter.
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 01:25 AM (dciA+)
A switch?
Posted by: buzzion at February 11, 2016 01:26 AM (zt+N6)
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 01:26 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: CaliGirl at February 11, 2016 01:26 AM (egOGm)
Posted by: buzzion at February 11, 2016 01:27 AM (zt+N6)
Posted by: L, Elle at February 11, 2016 01:27 AM (2x3L+)
Boy this guy's contract really don't mean dick does it?
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 01:27 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 01:27 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: L, Elle at February 11, 2016 01:27 AM (2x3L+)
*makes mental note*
Posted by: buzzion at February 11, 2016 01:28 AM (zt+N6)
Posted by: CaliGirl at February 11, 2016 01:28 AM (egOGm)
Posted by: Batman at February 11, 2016 01:28 AM (wCF3s)
Posted by: ThunderB at February 11, 2016 01:28 AM (zOTsN)
Posted by: CaliGirl at February 11, 2016 01:29 AM (egOGm)
Let's make doms great again.
Posted by: D. Trump at February 11, 2016 01:29 AM (H9MG5)
This guy's not good at beign a dom.
Now she's arguing about sleeping in the same bed.
This pussy's going to crumble again.
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 01:30 AM (dciA+)
No guy does this.
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 01:21 AM (dciA+)
Say what??
Posted by: Blano at February 11, 2016 01:30 AM (3eoPa)
Posted by: ThunderB at February 11, 2016 01:30 AM (zOTsN)
THE ONLY CONTRACT I SEE BEING ADHERED TO HERE IS THIS TERRIBLE AWFUL WOMAN'S DINNER AND SLEEPOVER CONTRACT!!!!
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 01:31 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: CaliGirl at February 11, 2016 01:31 AM (egOGm)
Posted by: D. Trump at February 11, 2016 01:31 AM (H9MG5)
Posted by: ThunderB at February 11, 2016 01:32 AM (zOTsN)
Posted by: ThunderB at February 11, 2016 01:30 AM (zOTsN)
Its so nice that he has found such a sweet girl like you. We were always worried about little Christian stealing my pantyhose to tie himself up.
Posted by: Mrs. Grey at February 11, 2016 01:32 AM (zt+N6)
Oh yeah, this is totally what his contract called for.
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 01:33 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: Lauren at February 11, 2016 01:33 AM (0C2f1)
Posted by: Batman at February 11, 2016 01:33 AM (wCF3s)
Posted by: Lauren at February 11, 2016 01:33 AM (0C2f1)
Posted by: Mrs. Grey at February 11, 2016 01:34 AM (zt+N6)
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 01:34 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: ThunderB at February 11, 2016 01:34 AM (zOTsN)
Posted by: L, Elle at February 11, 2016 01:34 AM (2x3L+)
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 01:35 AM (dciA+)
This story is a tragedy about the fall of an Awesome Dude who doesn't like dinner movies and slepovers into the clutches of a cruel succubus who wants him to hang out with her family.
I'm crying now.
The dream is dead.
the dream is dead
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 01:36 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: ThunderB at February 11, 2016 01:37 AM (zOTsN)
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 01:37 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: Mrs. Grey
I always thought making him wear my hand-me-downs to school would mess him up, but he seems fine now.
Posted by: Christine Grey at February 11, 2016 01:37 AM (zmW4B)
Posted by: buzzion at February 11, 2016 01:37 AM (zt+N6)
snapchat in 2?Posted by: Batman at February 11, 2016 01:37 AM (wCF3s)
he just introduced her as "my girlfriend"
the tears, they won't stop flowing
Her cruel victory is complete.
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 01:37 AM (dciA+)
Okay, this is the one part I was curious about. What dark secrets does a billionaire in his late 20s have?
Posted by: AD at February 11, 2016 01:38 AM (w7gCr)
the guy had a dream. This movie is about the dying of this dream.
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 01:38 AM (dciA+)
i think he said something about having underage sex with a crack whore when he was little boy. (Seriously.)
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 01:39 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: Lauren at February 11, 2016 01:39 AM (3DIzJ)
Okay, this is the one part I was curious about. What dark secrets does a billionaire in his late 20s have?
Posted by: AD at February 11, 2016 01:38 AM (w7gCr)
*SOB*
I'm really just a poorly written fan fiction version of some stupid sparkly vampire fag, written my some woman that touched herself every time she made me kiss her stand in character!
*SOB*
Posted by: Christian Grey at February 11, 2016 01:40 AM (zt+N6)
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 01:40 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: ThunderB at February 11, 2016 01:40 AM (zOTsN)
Posted by: L, Elle at February 11, 2016 01:40 AM (2x3L+)
Sheesh. "
I actually just made that up, but I seem to have vague memories that it's true.
Posted by: Lauren at February 11, 2016 01:41 AM (3DIzJ)
They should call this movie 50 Elegant Dinners.
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 01:41 AM (dciA+)
That's it? That's all?
Posted by: AD at February 11, 2016 01:41 AM (w7gCr)
Posted by: buzzion at February 11, 2016 01:42 AM (zt+N6)
I haven't read the book or watched the movie.
Posted by: CaliGirl at February 11, 2016 01:42 AM (egOGm)
I actually just made that up, but I seem to have vague memories that it's true.
i think that might actually be it.
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 01:42 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: Grey Trump at February 11, 2016 01:42 AM (3DIzJ)
He's tickling her with a peacock feather. It looks dumb.
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 01:43 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 01:41 AM (dciA+)
Isn't it 49 elegant dinners and a breakfast?
Posted by: buzzion at February 11, 2016 01:43 AM (zt+N6)
Posted by: L, Elle at February 11, 2016 01:44 AM (2x3L+)
Now there is some Sex Posing.
It's over.
He's playing piano. Dinner status: Uncertain.
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 01:44 AM (dciA+)
He's tickling her with a peacock feather. It looks dumb.
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 01:43 AM (dciA+)
I'm gonna wait until Lauren confirms that its dumb again, like with the ice cube.
Posted by: buzzion at February 11, 2016 01:44 AM (zt+N6)
Posted by: CaliGirl at February 11, 2016 01:45 AM (egOGm)
Posted by: Lauren at February 11, 2016 01:45 AM (3DIzJ)
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 01:46 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: Lauren at February 11, 2016 01:45 AM (3DIzJ)
That's what the restraints are for.
Posted by: buzzion at February 11, 2016 01:46 AM (zt+N6)
Posted by: L, Elle at February 11, 2016 01:46 AM (2x3L+)
Haha. I can neither conform nor deny that one.
Posted by: Lauren at February 11, 2016 01:46 AM (3DIzJ)
You always want to work that title into the movie.
Or, sort of.
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 01:47 AM (dciA+)
I think women would call the guy you have described a big pu**y
Posted by: CaliGirl at February 11, 2016 01:48 AM (egOGm)
So he's going to spank her and stuff now. But I guess this will be severe.
For some reason, he has raccoon tails hanging on the wall behind him.
Sure, why not. that's hot.
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 01:48 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: buzzion at February 11, 2016 01:48 AM (zt+N6)
Posted by: L, Elle at February 11, 2016 01:49 AM (2x3L+)
Posted by: Lauren at February 11, 2016 01:49 AM (3DIzJ)
Posted by: buzzion at February 11, 2016 01:50 AM (zt+N6)
These raccoon tails are distracting. So many questions.
By the way, "the very worst it could be" turned out to be six spanks with a leather paddle. Not exactly a torture session.
This is now a Crying Scene which will probably lead to a Dinner Reconciliation.
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 01:50 AM (dciA+)
"
Wait, are you coming out as a fur-kin?
Posted by: Lauren at February 11, 2016 01:49 AM (3DIzJ)
He was a young ewok once. Maybe he experimented a little.
Posted by: buzzion at February 11, 2016 01:51 AM (zt+N6)
Posted by: ThunderB at February 11, 2016 01:51 AM (zOTsN)
She says "You will never do that to me again." Once again, it was six spanks.
She says she's fallen in love with him. He now says 'No, you can't love me," like he's a fucking werewolf.
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 01:52 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: buzzion at February 11, 2016 01:52 AM (zt+N6)
Posted by: CaliGirl at February 11, 2016 01:52 AM (egOGm)
There's more crying and dinners than sex.
They have tricked me into watching what is obviously a LOVE STORY in the guise of some weird werewolf sex movie.
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 01:54 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: L, Elle at February 11, 2016 01:54 AM (2x3L+)
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 01:54 AM (dciA+)
I am ashamed to admit all my housewive friends thought the book was great. I'm sure after 20 years of marriage, they imagined all the cool kids do this.
Posted by: CaliGirl at February 11, 2016 01:55 AM (egOGm)
Posted by: Lauren at February 11, 2016 01:55 AM (3DIzJ)
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 01:55 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: ThunderB at February 11, 2016 01:51 AM (zOTsN)<<<
Maybe he's killing a little time? Waiting 'til she's ready for him to make her a sammich.
Posted by: D. Trump at February 11, 2016 01:55 AM (H9MG5)
Posted by: Blano at February 11, 2016 01:55 AM (3eoPa)
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 01:55 AM (dciA+)
He seems like he'd be more into chainmail.
Posted by: buzzion at February 11, 2016 01:56 AM (zt+N6)
Just some crying and a walk-out?
That's not a resolution, that's bullshit that happens all the time.
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 01:56 AM (dciA+)
Hang on
Posted by: L, Elle at February 11, 2016 01:57 AM (2x3L+)
Cliffhanger, 51 shades of supper?
Posted by: CaliGirl at February 11, 2016 01:58 AM (egOGm)
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 01:58 AM (dciA+)
mid-credits teaser of Thanos in a leather bra, that's all there is of 50
Shades of Grey.
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 01:55 AM (dciA+)<<<
Maybe they'll be sitting in a restaurant eating shawarma?
Posted by: Tony Stark, a real, honest to goodness Alpha billionaire at February 11, 2016 01:58 AM (H9MG5)
Posted by: Lauren at February 11, 2016 01:58 AM (3DIzJ)
Did you slog through them?
Posted by: CaliGirl at February 11, 2016 01:59 AM (egOGm)
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 01:59 AM (dciA+)
are you fucking kidding me
I jsut saw it from his perspective. It was "Dude Gets Jerked Around by a College Girl Who Won't Sign His Sex-Contract"
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 02:00 AM (dciA+)
I jsut saw it from his perspective. It was "Dude Gets Jerked Around by a College Girl Who Won't Sign His Sex-Contract"
I am not kidding you. You get to read all about how he feels [/f] about not getting his sex contract signed.
Posted by: Lauren at February 11, 2016 02:01 AM (3DIzJ)
Posted by: Lauren at February 11, 2016 02:02 AM (3DIzJ)
wow, all that i've been missing
i bet he's pretty ANNOYED and FRUSTRATED huh?
that must make for a great read
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 02:03 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 02:03 AM (dciA+)
------
Hell no! I like getting spanked bc I like strong men. Ssh. Don't tell anyone. That's why I paid attention to the first one which was just horrible.
Posted by: L, Elle at February 11, 2016 02:04 AM (2x3L+)
I hope you are joking.
Posted by: CaliGirl at February 11, 2016 02:04 AM (egOGm)
And brooding. Now to be clear, I have not read this book, I've just seen excerpts. And they are hilarious.
Posted by: Lauren at February 11, 2016 02:05 AM (3DIzJ)
Posted by: Batman at February 11, 2016 02:06 AM (wCF3s)
I like strong men too. I just like watching them chopping wood and manly things like that. But that can stay between us girls.
Posted by: CaliGirl at February 11, 2016 02:07 AM (egOGm)
I jsut saw it from his perspective. It was "Dude Gets Jerked Around by a College Girl Who Won't Sign His Sex-Contract"
I am not kidding you. You get to read all about how he feels [/f] about not getting his sex contract signed.
Posted by: Lauren at February 11, 2016 02:01 AM (3DIzJ)
So in other words this hack fan fiction writer went and did what the writer she copied from was going to do?
Posted by: buzzion at February 11, 2016 02:07 AM (zt+N6)
Posted by: buzzion at February 11, 2016 02:08 AM (zt+N6)
"She peeks up at me and bites down on her full bottom lip.
F**k! How did I not notice how inviting that mouth is?
"S-Sorry, I'm not used to this."
I can tell, baby, but right now I don't give a damn because I can't take my eyes off your mouth."
Posted by: Lauren at February 11, 2016 02:09 AM (3DIzJ)
:-)
Posted by: L, Elle at February 11, 2016 02:09 AM (2x3L+)
"Slowly I turn my head, and she's fast asleep, facing me. Her beautiful face soft in repose.
I have never slept with a woman. I've f**ked many, but to wake up beside an alluring young woman is a new and stimulating experience. My cock agrees."
Posted by: Lauren at February 11, 2016 02:10 AM (3DIzJ)
:-)
Posted by: L, Elle at February 11, 2016 02:09 AM (2x3L+)
How about a little Bing?
Posted by: Chandler at February 11, 2016 02:11 AM (zt+N6)
That ish is hilarious.
Posted by: CaliGirl at February 11, 2016 02:11 AM (egOGm)
I don't know what that is.
Posted by: Lauren at February 11, 2016 02:12 AM (3DIzJ)
That's cool. I like manly men. Men who can fix a faucet, change a tire, I like watching my husband split the wood. Kill the things that need to be killed is manly as well.
Posted by: CaliGirl at February 11, 2016 02:15 AM (egOGm)
"An image of her shackled to my bench, peeled gingerroot inserted in her ass so she can't clench her buttocks, comes to mind, followed by judicious use of a belt or strap. Yeah... That would teach her not to be so irresponsible. The thought is hugely appealing."
Posted by: Lauren at February 11, 2016 02:15 AM (3DIzJ)
Posted by: Chandler at February 11, 2016 02:11 AM (zt+N6)
----
Idk what this refers to. Something about Friends? I'm not a TV person. Threads probably dead anyway bc Ace left
Posted by: L, Elle at February 11, 2016 02:15 AM (2x3L+)
I heard the books were poorly written garbage. They sound like comedy.
Posted by: CaliGirl at February 11, 2016 02:16 AM (egOGm)
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 02:16 AM (dciA+)
cock-tightening?
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 02:16 AM (dciA+)
Her smile causes boners?
Posted by: buzzion at February 11, 2016 02:17 AM (zt+N6)
"As we stand inside I make a mental note to f**k her in an elevator one day. That's if she agrees to my deal. "
Posted by: Lauren at February 11, 2016 02:17 AM (3DIzJ)
I have no idea what that means either.
Posted by: CaliGirl at February 11, 2016 02:18 AM (egOGm)
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 02:18 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: Lauren at February 11, 2016 02:19 AM (3DIzJ)
Can we have a weekend doggeh post? Can you approve that and give it clearance? We have 2 long standing commenters who have no trespasses against them volunteering to commit to it.
Posted by: L, Elle at February 11, 2016 02:19 AM (2x3L+)
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 02:20 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: Lauren at February 11, 2016 02:20 AM (3DIzJ)
the excerpts are making me crack up.
Posted by: CaliGirl at February 11, 2016 02:20 AM (egOGm)
Posted by: buzzion at February 11, 2016 02:22 AM (zt+N6)
Posted by: CaliGirl at February 11, 2016 02:22 AM (egOGm)
Here's a really good one:
"With my eyes locked on hers, I take her panties, crush them to my nose, and inhale deeply. Her mouth pops open and her eyes widen in amused shock."
Posted by: Lauren at February 11, 2016 02:23 AM (3DIzJ)
* jumps up and down *
Yay! Thank you, Ace.
Posted by: L, Elle at February 11, 2016 02:23 AM (2x3L+)
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 02:26 AM (dciA+)
There is obviously a huge market for this crap. That surprises me. Slightly kinky bodice rippers. Someone smarter than me should make their fortune.
Posted by: CaliGirl at February 11, 2016 02:27 AM (egOGm)
The top kindle sellers are always this sort of crap. I've thought of selling my soul before.
Posted by: Lauren at February 11, 2016 02:28 AM (f3Iw2)
Posted by: CaliGirl at February 11, 2016 02:29 AM (egOGm)
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 02:29 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 02:30 AM (dciA+)
Posted by: Dinosaur Porn writer at February 11, 2016 02:30 AM (zt+N6)
Posted by: Batman at February 11, 2016 02:30 AM (wCF3s)
I wonder how the 50 shades books became so popular. I'm going to look at that tomorrow.
Posted by: CaliGirl at February 11, 2016 02:30 AM (egOGm)
Posted by: Lauren at February 11, 2016 02:31 AM (f3Iw2)
Well no more ridiculous than sparkly vampires.
Posted by: CaliGirl at February 11, 2016 02:32 AM (egOGm)
Thank you! I'm so happy!
Posted by: L, Elle at February 11, 2016 02:32 AM (2x3L+)
Like... "I was dancing with this chick at the discotheque. She was so hot, I would totally do the sex to her. She really got my boner tight."
Posted by: make it stop at February 11, 2016 02:32 AM (H9MG5)
I mean how was it marketed. Did it get a spot on Oprah? GMA? Every housewife friend of mine read the book.
Posted by: CaliGirl at February 11, 2016 02:33 AM (egOGm)
Posted by: Batman at February 11, 2016 02:34 AM (wCF3s)
That I don't know. I think she came out of a fanfic board and somehow that resulted in a book deal.
Must be nice.
Posted by: Lauren at February 11, 2016 02:34 AM (f3Iw2)
Posted by: SCOAMF at February 11, 2016 02:35 AM (H9MG5)
She must have had someone's attention. Why that crappy book. Im just curious about stuff like that.
Posted by: CaliGirl at February 11, 2016 02:36 AM (egOGm)
Posted by: ChocoCheese at February 11, 2016 02:37 AM (MUDGs)
Posted by: CaliGirl at February 11, 2016 02:39 AM (egOGm)
Posted by: Lauren at February 11, 2016 02:40 AM (0C2f1)
Posted by: buzzion at February 11, 2016 02:51 AM (zt+N6)
meets in the second book but is more into gimp masks, see her and
Christian's child for the first time and realize that that is who his
true sub will be?
Posted by: buzzion
Such an anti-semite.
Posted by: weft cut-loop at February 11, 2016 03:20 AM (wCF3s)
Posted by: Vic-we have no party at February 11, 2016 04:30 AM (t2KH5)
Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at February 11, 2016 05:34 AM (iQIUe)
Fifty Shades of Lactation will be the prequel.
Fifty Shades of Diarrhea will be the final sequel after she reduces him to taking her to Chipotle.
Stick to Overboard, ace. No sex, but you'll get Goldie Hawn in a dinner dress doing tequila shots with the crew of her yacht.
Posted by: Krebs v Carnot: Epic Battle of the Cycling Stars (TM) at February 11, 2016 07:38 AM (BK3ZS)
Will indictements come between, or after?
Posted by: Mr Macca Bean at February 11, 2016 09:39 AM (4ng05)
So when my girlfriend rented '50 Shades' I was kinda sorta thinking this might be fun since the kinds of movies I think are extreme are also the kinds of movies she would never watch, so maybe this would be a fun date night experience.
Nope. '50 Shades' was anterrible movie. I thought the actress--whoever she was--had the acting chops to break out of the godawful script on occasion; otherwise, nothing doing. My girlfriend became irritated when I started doing a running, not-very-funnycommentary a la MST3000, but even she agreed it was a terrible movie. I won't go near the book.
Posted by: troyriser at February 11, 2016 09:43 AM (WuTfJ)
The book was pretty good until Anna lost her virginity. I'm not kidding. After that it became pointless.
Posted by: scorecard at February 11, 2016 09:44 AM (I0sxh)
Then they buy this awful book about the humiliation and sexual abuse of women...volume after volume after volume.
Gimme a break!
No brain, sex, rather homely woman. Gag.
Posted by: Femme Mentalle at February 11, 2016 11:10 AM (SJ184)
although those hillary nutcracker videos give me the willies.
Posted by: Willam J. Clinton at February 11, 2016 11:53 AM (/jecC)
Posted by: Huma baby! at February 11, 2016 01:04 PM (oeEqm)
Here's a really good one:
"With my eyes locked on hers, I take her panties, crush them to my nose, and inhale deeply. Her mouth pops open and her eyes widen in amused shock."
My eyes water as I ask her,"You had lunch at Chipotle?"
Posted by: A Guy at February 11, 2016 01:20 PM (UvmoL)
i like her. she's got a real natural, wholesome sort of vibe. She's melanie griffith's kids.
Posted by: ace at February 11, 2016 01:58 PM (dciA+)
god almighty woman why can't you watch real p0rn?
Posted by: M1911 at February 11, 2016 02:19 PM (j/KPN)
Posted by: Rob in Katy at February 11, 2016 04:03 PM (uaYXs)
Well, actually, the three books taken as a whole are a romance novel. I hope I won't spoil things terribly for anyone planning on reading the second book when I reveal that they get back together on like page five, after five pages of Ana weeping over her lost love and cuddling a helicopter balloon because it reminds her of Christian's helicopter. And yeah, just as you now suspect, they end up happily married and are last seen running through a wildflower meadow playing with their adorable toddler. Literally. I swear to God.
2. Guys do not understand romance novels.
Not even when they're well-written and not wish-fulfillment with completely unrealistic characters and situations.
Therefore:
3. This effort was doomed from the start.
Posted by: jaed at February 11, 2016 05:19 PM (7LR+G)
Posted by: Lord Whorfin at February 11, 2016 07:04 PM (kMoe2)
Posted by: Eileen at February 11, 2016 08:15 PM (te778)
She probably ate the raccoons whilst he was sleeping.
Posted by: JT at February 11, 2016 08:30 PM (1hvcd)
Posted by: JT at February 11, 2016 08:34 PM (1hvcd)
Posted by: JT at February 11, 2016 08:53 PM (1hvcd)
I think you're out of the danger z
Posted by: JT at February 11, 2016 09:08 PM (1hvcd)
Posted by: JT at February 11, 2016 09:09 PM (1hvcd)
Posted by: JT at February 11, 2016 09:10 PM (1hvcd)
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Signs that Paul Krugman Has Lost His Frickin' Mind
All-Time Best NBA Players, According to Senator Robert Byrd
Other Bad Things About the Jews, According to the Koran
Signs That David Letterman Just Doesn't Care Anymore
Examples of Bob Kerrey's Insufferable Racial Jackassery
Signs Andy Rooney Is Going Senile
Other Judgments Dick Clarke Made About Condi Rice Based on Her Appearance
Collective Names for Groups of People
John Kerry's Other Vietnam Super-Pets
Cool Things About the XM8 Assault Rifle
Media-Approved Facts About the Democrat Spy
Changes to Make Christianity More "Inclusive"
Secret John Kerry Senatorial Accomplishments
John Edwards Campaign Excuses
John Kerry Pick-Up Lines
Changes Liberal Senator George Michell Will Make at Disney
Torments in Dog-Hell
The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)