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New Year's Resolutions
I resolve to self-edit.
I resolve to try to make it through the last year of this administration without being upset all the time about President Narcissistic Freak's lack of regard for the well-being of this great republic and the wonderful individuals that make it up--people he regards as mere objects. I resolve to stop dunking the basketball all the time and dating supermodels. How about you?Comments
(Jump to bottom of comments)Posted by: Willy J. at January 01, 2016 01:38 PM (wHX4r)
2
I resolve to be as tolerant as Leftists.
Posted by: NaCly Dog at January 01, 2016 01:39 PM (u82oZ)
3
I resolve to stop talking politics with idiot leftists.
Posted by: shibumi who is awaiting SMOD at January 01, 2016 01:40 PM (9JJgN)
4
I resolve to be intolerant of all miscreants and jackasses.
Posted by: Nikkolai at January 01, 2016 01:40 PM (aEfC9)
5
...and Methodists.
Posted by: Nikkolai at January 01, 2016 01:41 PM (aEfC9)
6
I will get the rest of my house painted....
Posted by: FCF at January 01, 2016 01:42 PM (kejii)
7
I'm just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round.
I'm just sitting here watching the wheels go round and round.
Posted by: Zombie John Lennon at January 01, 2016 01:42 PM (Qj6zv)
8
Lose more weight, get in shape, fly fish more, travel all spring and find a new girl friend.
Return to work for our candidate.
Full year.
Return to work for our candidate.
Full year.
Posted by: Nip Sip at January 01, 2016 01:44 PM (jJRIy)
9
I resolve to reclaim my sanity. I'll probably have to stop reading and watching the Make Believe Media.
Posted by: hadoop at January 01, 2016 01:44 PM (2X7pN)
10
Okay a few serious ones
1. I will go to the gym at least 4x per week
2. I will be faithful to my diet at least 6 days per week
3. I will save at least $3,000 cash in my emergency fund by the end of the year
4. I will write a budget every month, and stick to it to the best of my ability, resolving not to exceed 5% of my budgeted expenses every month
5. I will give up beer until I have lost at least 30 lbs.
1. I will go to the gym at least 4x per week
2. I will be faithful to my diet at least 6 days per week
3. I will save at least $3,000 cash in my emergency fund by the end of the year
4. I will write a budget every month, and stick to it to the best of my ability, resolving not to exceed 5% of my budgeted expenses every month
5. I will give up beer until I have lost at least 30 lbs.
Posted by: chemjeff at January 01, 2016 01:44 PM (uZNvH)
11
I once again make one of my perennial favorite resolutions: cut down on drinking.
Also, cut down on debt.
Post more to my own blog.
Any more and I'd be pushing it. Those three probably will perish soon enough.
Also, cut down on debt.
Post more to my own blog.
Any more and I'd be pushing it. Those three probably will perish soon enough.
Posted by: BeckoningChasm at January 01, 2016 01:44 PM (wZtOw)
12
I resolve to switch to gin. *hic*
Posted by: Ready For Hillary!!11!! at January 01, 2016 01:44 PM (Dwehj)
13
I resolve not to make pointless New Year's resolutions.
Posted by: BurtTC at January 01, 2016 01:45 PM (Dj0WE)
14
I resolve to hang out on AoSHQ all day long while drinking beer, and never change my underwear.
Posted by: OregonMuse at January 01, 2016 01:45 PM (Ba/+D)
15
i've now gone 31 consecutive new years without a resolution
Posted by: the real ch3 at January 01, 2016 01:46 PM (NyVz8)
16
I resolve to hate Fredo and liberals more this year...and THAT is one resolution I am sure to keep
Posted by: Nevergiveup at January 01, 2016 01:46 PM (DUoqb)
Posted by: Bandersnatch at January 01, 2016 01:47 PM (1xUj/)
18
I resolve to keep spicy V8 in the house. Just for mornings like this.
Posted by: Chi at January 01, 2016 01:47 PM (UICf+)
19
I will get the rest of my house painted....
Posted by: FCF at January 01, 2016 01:42 PM (kejii)
I know a hooker who will do ANYTHING for $100.
Posted by: FCF at January 01, 2016 01:42 PM (kejii)
I know a hooker who will do ANYTHING for $100.
Posted by: BurtTC at January 01, 2016 01:47 PM (Dj0WE)
20
I resolve to not be so relentlessly awesome.
Posted by: JackStraw at January 01, 2016 01:47 PM (/tuJf)
21
I resolve to be ready for the Spartan Beast by April.
And I further resolve, to the extent I can, resist the encroachments of fascism and tyranny and beat back the barbarians and regressives that seek to enslave us all.
And I further resolve, to the extent I can, resist the encroachments of fascism and tyranny and beat back the barbarians and regressives that seek to enslave us all.
Posted by: Kreplach at January 01, 2016 01:49 PM (WVvzl)
22
I resolve to annoy Leftards and muslims at each and every opportunity.
Posted by: BackwardsBoy at January 01, 2016 01:50 PM (LUgeY)
23
Somewhat related: Found this little nugget when looking for Life of Brian quotes (for the previous thread)...
Stan: I want to have babies.
Reg: You want to have babies?!?!
Stan: It's every man's right to have babies if he wants them.
Reg: But ... you can't HAVE babies!
Stan: Don't you oppress me!
Reg: I'm not oppressing you, Stan. You haven't got a womb! Where's the foetus gonna gestate? You gonna keep it in a box?
Amazing how ahead of their time those fellas were, eh?
Stan: I want to have babies.
Reg: You want to have babies?!?!
Stan: It's every man's right to have babies if he wants them.
Reg: But ... you can't HAVE babies!
Stan: Don't you oppress me!
Reg: I'm not oppressing you, Stan. You haven't got a womb! Where's the foetus gonna gestate? You gonna keep it in a box?
Amazing how ahead of their time those fellas were, eh?
Posted by: BurtTC at January 01, 2016 01:50 PM (Dj0WE)
24
I resolve that if some pathetic RINO gets the nomination, I'm not going to show up and pull the lever for them merely as a symbolic vote against the Democrat.
2012 was the last straw.
2012 was the last straw.
Posted by: torquewrench at January 01, 2016 01:51 PM (noWW6)
25
Mine are simple:
1) Try not to drink too much more than I did the previous year;
2) Try not to smoke quite as much as I did the previous year; and
3) Try to have more sex than I did the previous year.
1) Try not to drink too much more than I did the previous year;
2) Try not to smoke quite as much as I did the previous year; and
3) Try to have more sex than I did the previous year.
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Still Accepting Harem Applicants at January 01, 2016 01:52 PM (lutOX)
Posted by: Chupacabra at January 01, 2016 01:52 PM (k1gv+)
27
I resolve to keep spicy V8 in the house. Just for mornings like this.
Posted by: Chi at January 01, 2016 01:47 PM (UICf+)
That's it... I have some aging tomatoes in the fridge, a juicer, and some hot sauce.
NO, I'm not going to ruin it by adding booze to it, why on God's green Earth would I do that??
Posted by: Chi at January 01, 2016 01:47 PM (UICf+)
That's it... I have some aging tomatoes in the fridge, a juicer, and some hot sauce.
NO, I'm not going to ruin it by adding booze to it, why on God's green Earth would I do that??
Posted by: BurtTC at January 01, 2016 01:52 PM (Dj0WE)
28
Forthwith, convenience store clerks shall receive no quarter from me, and I shall ask none of them.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at January 01, 2016 01:52 PM (8ZskC)
29
24 I resolve that if some pathetic RINO gets the nomination, I'm not going to show up and pull the lever for them merely as a symbolic vote against the Democrat.
2012 was the last straw.
Posted by: torquewrench at January 01, 2016 01:51 PM (noWW6)
Ditto
24 I resolve that if some pathetic RINO gets the nomination, I'm not going to show up and pull the lever for them merely as a symbolic vote against the Democrat.
2012 was the last straw.
Posted by: torquewrench at January 01, 2016 01:51 PM (noWW6)
Ditto
Posted by: eman at January 01, 2016 01:53 PM (MQEz6)
30
Cur's New Years Resolutions:
Be an asshole.
Drink more cheap red wine.
Drink more bourbon.
Laugh cruelly at the unfortunate.
Drink more Irish whisky.
Make more commie cocksuckers cry online.
Eat more bacon.
Be an even bigger asshole than in the first resolution.
Now, most folks use their New Years Resolutions to improve themselves. I'm no different, all of these resolutions point towards the newer, more perfect man that I aspire to be.
Plus, I was gonna do all this anyway, so I don't have to lie about stoopid resolutions like "drink less booze".
Be an asshole.
Drink more cheap red wine.
Drink more bourbon.
Laugh cruelly at the unfortunate.
Drink more Irish whisky.
Make more commie cocksuckers cry online.
Eat more bacon.
Be an even bigger asshole than in the first resolution.
Now, most folks use their New Years Resolutions to improve themselves. I'm no different, all of these resolutions point towards the newer, more perfect man that I aspire to be.
Plus, I was gonna do all this anyway, so I don't have to lie about stoopid resolutions like "drink less booze".
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at January 01, 2016 01:53 PM (o98Jz)
31
3) Try to have more sex than I did the previous year.
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Still Accepting Harem Applicants at January 01, 2016 01:52 PM (lutOX)
With humans??
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Still Accepting Harem Applicants at January 01, 2016 01:52 PM (lutOX)
With humans??
Posted by: BurtTC at January 01, 2016 01:54 PM (Dj0WE)
32
I resolve to return to full-time employment. Seven years of funemployment down the drain.
Posted by: Count de Monet at January 01, 2016 01:55 PM (JO9+V)
33
NO, I'm not going to ruin it by adding booze to it, why on God's green Earth would I do that??
Posted by: BurtTC
--------------------
Hair. Dog. Bite.
Some assembly required.
Posted by: BurtTC
--------------------
Hair. Dog. Bite.
Some assembly required.
Posted by: Chi at January 01, 2016 01:55 PM (UICf+)
34
I like the cut of this ITC fella's jib.
Posted by: Chupacabra at January 01, 2016 01:55 PM (k1gv+)
35
Forthwith, convenience store clerks shall receive no quarter from me, and I shall ask none of them.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at January 01, 2016 01:52 PM (8ZskC)
I made that resolution last year. I only use my debit card, never cash... but that means my jar full of quarters isn't getting any fuller, alas.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at January 01, 2016 01:52 PM (8ZskC)
I made that resolution last year. I only use my debit card, never cash... but that means my jar full of quarters isn't getting any fuller, alas.
Posted by: BurtTC at January 01, 2016 01:55 PM (Dj0WE)
36
Also, I will expunge "retard" from my glossary and replace it with "brain gimp."
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at January 01, 2016 01:56 PM (8ZskC)
37
No resolutions, no disappointments. Word.
Posted by: Ricardo Kill at January 01, 2016 01:56 PM (/KRYw)
38
"Found this little nugget when looking for Life of Brian quotes"
All right, but apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, a fresh water system, and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?
All right, but apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, a fresh water system, and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?
Posted by: torquewrench at January 01, 2016 01:56 PM (noWW6)
39
31 3) Try to have more sex than I did the previous year.
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Still Accepting Harem Applicants at January 01, 2016 01:52 PM (lutOX)
With humans??
Posted by: BurtTC at January 01, 2016 01:54 PM (Dj0WE)
***
If that's what's available, then, yes, I'll have to settle.
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Still Accepting Harem Applicants at January 01, 2016 01:52 PM (lutOX)
With humans??
Posted by: BurtTC at January 01, 2016 01:54 PM (Dj0WE)
***
If that's what's available, then, yes, I'll have to settle.
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Still Accepting Harem Applicants at January 01, 2016 01:56 PM (lutOX)
40
Posted by: BurtTC at January 01, 2016 01:55 PM (Dj0WE)
Reminds me. I need to get rid of all that damn change I have laying around.
Reminds me. I need to get rid of all that damn change I have laying around.
Posted by: HH at January 01, 2016 01:58 PM (DrCtv)
41
I resolve to mentor more young women in the culinary arts. Pancakes and sammiches will be the focus of the first trimester.
Posted by: Fritz at January 01, 2016 01:58 PM (BngQR)
42
I resolve to piss on Liberals, Progs, and assorted Commies, Socialists and Democrats and to like it.
Oh, and drink more booze. It's good for the ticker.
Oh, and drink more booze. It's good for the ticker.
Posted by: The Man from Athens at January 01, 2016 01:59 PM (lQqij)
43
Drink quite a bit less.
Of course, it would really help if that damned cock-sucking musselman wasn't presedent.
Of course, if he dies or resigns I might die of alcohol poisoning.
Of course, it would really help if that damned cock-sucking musselman wasn't presedent.
Of course, if he dies or resigns I might die of alcohol poisoning.
Posted by: Snoodling Hero Emeritus at January 01, 2016 01:59 PM (k9qR4)
44
I will track autocucumber down, rape it, and strangle it.
Posted by: The Great White Snark at January 01, 2016 01:59 PM (aXzL9)
45
I resove not to resolve.
Posted by: steevy at January 01, 2016 01:59 PM (8HTq1)
46
Amazing how ahead of their time those fellas were, eh?
Posted by: BurtTC at January 01, 2016 01:50 PM (Dj0WE)
Wow. Did they actually use the word 'oppress'? Was that in the original dialog?
Posted by: BurtTC at January 01, 2016 01:50 PM (Dj0WE)
Wow. Did they actually use the word 'oppress'? Was that in the original dialog?
Posted by: OregonMuse at January 01, 2016 01:59 PM (Ba/+D)
47
18
I resolve to keep spicy V8 in the house. Just for mornings like this.
Posted by: Chi at January 01, 2016 01:47 PM (UICf+)
Might I recommend Snap-E-Tom.
I resolve to keep spicy V8 in the house. Just for mornings like this.
Posted by: Chi at January 01, 2016 01:47 PM (UICf+)
Might I recommend Snap-E-Tom.
Posted by: Bob's House of Flannel Shirts and Wallet Chains at January 01, 2016 02:00 PM (yxw0r)
Posted by: Tex Lovera at January 01, 2016 02:00 PM (cMRth)
49
"I resolve to try to make it through the last year of this administration without being upset all the time..."
That's a good one.
I'm going to try to do the same about the primary season.
That's a good one.
I'm going to try to do the same about the primary season.
Posted by: Y-not (@moxiemom) at January 01, 2016 02:00 PM (t5zYU)
50
"Found this little nugget when looking for Life of Brian quotes"
All right, but apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, a fresh water system, and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?
Posted by: torquewrench at January 01, 2016 01:56 PM (noWW6)
More:
Reg: [reading prepared statement] "We, the People's Front of Judea, brackets, official, end brackets, do hereby convey our sincere fraternal and sisterly greetings to you, Brian, on this, the occasion of your martyrdom. "
Brian: What?
Reg: "Your death will stand as a landmark in the continuing struggle to liberate the parent land from the hands of the Roman imperialist aggressors, excluding those concerned with drainage, medicine, roads, housing, education, viniculture and any other Romans contributing to the welfare of Jews of both sexes and hermaphrodites..."
All right, but apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, a fresh water system, and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?
Posted by: torquewrench at January 01, 2016 01:56 PM (noWW6)
More:
Reg: [reading prepared statement] "We, the People's Front of Judea, brackets, official, end brackets, do hereby convey our sincere fraternal and sisterly greetings to you, Brian, on this, the occasion of your martyrdom. "
Brian: What?
Reg: "Your death will stand as a landmark in the continuing struggle to liberate the parent land from the hands of the Roman imperialist aggressors, excluding those concerned with drainage, medicine, roads, housing, education, viniculture and any other Romans contributing to the welfare of Jews of both sexes and hermaphrodites..."
Posted by: BurtTC at January 01, 2016 02:00 PM (Dj0WE)
51
I will endeavor to persevere.
Posted by: OregonMuse at January 01, 2016 02:02 PM (Ba/+D)
52
I resolve that every glass is half full.
Posted by: Grump928(C) says Free Soothie!*, with purchase of commenter of equal or greater value *some restr at January 01, 2016 02:02 PM (rwI+c)
53
I resolve to pushing myself harder to bring the great people of the world, excellent stories, regardless of the danger to myself or my crew. Serious!
Posted by: Brian Williams at January 01, 2016 02:02 PM (e7T6D)
54
Amazing how ahead of their time those fellas were, eh?
Posted by: BurtTC at January 01, 2016 01:50 PM (Dj0WE)
Wow. Did they actually use the word 'oppress'? Was that in the original dialog?
Posted by: OregonMuse at January 01, 2016 01:59 PM (Ba/+D)
I think all the signs are pointing the same direction: I need to make myself a Virgin Mary, watch Life of Brian, and... profit?
See you all in about 2 hours.
Posted by: BurtTC at January 01, 2016 01:50 PM (Dj0WE)
Wow. Did they actually use the word 'oppress'? Was that in the original dialog?
Posted by: OregonMuse at January 01, 2016 01:59 PM (Ba/+D)
I think all the signs are pointing the same direction: I need to make myself a Virgin Mary, watch Life of Brian, and... profit?
See you all in about 2 hours.
Posted by: BurtTC at January 01, 2016 02:03 PM (Dj0WE)
55
I resolve to continue my diet and exercise plan, which is working! I'm losing about 5 lbs of fat and gaining about 2 lb of muscle each month.
I resolve to get rid of an extra trash can's worth of clutter each week until this aspect of housework is under control.
I resolve to try a different (healthier) approach to a relationship issue. Don't really know what that will be, but I'll try something different!
I resolve to get rid of an extra trash can's worth of clutter each week until this aspect of housework is under control.
I resolve to try a different (healthier) approach to a relationship issue. Don't really know what that will be, but I'll try something different!
Posted by: Emmie at January 01, 2016 02:03 PM (Eu7th)
56
@10: My two cents . . . .
10 Okay a few serious ones
1. I will go to the gym at least 4x per week .....ADMIRABLE
2. I will be faithful to my diet at least 6 days per week.......YOU'LL BE LIKED ONE DAY A WEEK
3. I will save at least $3,000 cash in my emergency fund by the end of the year......SERIOUSLY A GREAT IDEA! GOOD LUCK!
4. I will write a budget every month, and stick to it to the best of my ability, resolving not to exceed 5% of my budgeted expenses every month....CHECKOUT FINANCIAL PEACE UNIVERSITY IF YOU HAVE NOT! GOOD LUCK!
5. I will give up beer until I have lost at least 30 lbs......MORE FOR ME>
Posted by: chemjeff at January 01, 2016 01:44 PM (uZNvH)
10 Okay a few serious ones
1. I will go to the gym at least 4x per week .....ADMIRABLE
2. I will be faithful to my diet at least 6 days per week.......YOU'LL BE LIKED ONE DAY A WEEK
3. I will save at least $3,000 cash in my emergency fund by the end of the year......SERIOUSLY A GREAT IDEA! GOOD LUCK!
4. I will write a budget every month, and stick to it to the best of my ability, resolving not to exceed 5% of my budgeted expenses every month....CHECKOUT FINANCIAL PEACE UNIVERSITY IF YOU HAVE NOT! GOOD LUCK!
5. I will give up beer until I have lost at least 30 lbs......MORE FOR ME>
Posted by: chemjeff at January 01, 2016 01:44 PM (uZNvH)
Posted by: The Man from Athens at January 01, 2016 02:04 PM (lQqij)
57
*squirt*
Posted by: Anthony Weiner at January 01, 2016 02:05 PM (wc57J)
58
Increase my awesomeness by at least 20%.
Posted by: Duke Lowell at January 01, 2016 02:05 PM (kTF2Z)
59
All right, but apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, a fresh water system, and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?
-
All right, but apart from hobbling the economy, destroying the criminal justice system, turning huge swathes of land over to ISIS, losing the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, creating riots in the streets, disarming the military, turning campuses into SJW daycares, and creating a $19 trillion debt, what has Obozo done to us?
-
All right, but apart from hobbling the economy, destroying the criminal justice system, turning huge swathes of land over to ISIS, losing the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, creating riots in the streets, disarming the military, turning campuses into SJW daycares, and creating a $19 trillion debt, what has Obozo done to us?
Posted by: The Great White Snark at January 01, 2016 02:06 PM (aXzL9)
60
I resolve to feed my arsenal regularly once I dredge them from the bottom of the lake.
Posted by: Octiparan at January 01, 2016 02:06 PM (cpzPg)
Posted by: DaveA at January 01, 2016 02:07 PM (DL2i+)
62
I resolve to drink more and have more girlfriends
Posted by: Count de Monet at January 01, 2016 02:07 PM (JO9+V)
63
Happy New Year all!!
1) Drop 50 pounds
2) Run at least 1 5k
3) Mock, scorn and humiliate as many liberal scum as I can
4) Score a date (struck out in 2015)
5) Get better job on way to being self employed
6) Arm up
Among others.
1) Drop 50 pounds
2) Run at least 1 5k
3) Mock, scorn and humiliate as many liberal scum as I can
4) Score a date (struck out in 2015)
5) Get better job on way to being self employed
6) Arm up
Among others.
Posted by: Blano at January 01, 2016 02:07 PM (C3E0x)
64
We promise to reach across the aisle and work with Democrats to move the country forward. That is what Americans expect from Washington.
Posted by: GOP at January 01, 2016 02:08 PM (0vsws)
65
@8: Lose more weight, get in shape, fly fish more, travel all spring and find a new girl friend.
Return to work for our candidate.
Full year.
Posted by: Nip Sip at January 01, 2016 01:44 PM (jJRIy)
What's wrong with the current one or are you looking for an additional one?
Return to work for our candidate.
Full year.
Posted by: Nip Sip at January 01, 2016 01:44 PM (jJRIy)
What's wrong with the current one or are you looking for an additional one?
Posted by: The Man from Athens at January 01, 2016 02:09 PM (lQqij)
Posted by: eman at January 01, 2016 02:10 PM (MQEz6)
67
Eliminate unnecessary f-bombs
Posted by: Northernlurker at January 01, 2016 02:10 PM (4rzL1)
68
This isn't exactly New Year's Resolution, but it is a big deal Moral Dilemma I am facing starting today.
(I'm going to subtly alter the exact identities and relationships so as to protect the guilty., but the essence of the dilemma remains unchanged.)
Question: What Should I Do? :
My parents, decades ago, were absolutely terrible, terrible parents. Total neglect, totally uncaring narcissism. Parents didn't abuse or molest kids, but parents failed to feed, clothe or take care of kids.
OK, that was decades ago.
Now, one of these parents is very very old and is losing control of faculties. Unfortunately I, as the only responsible now-adult child, have been named as the appointed caregiver, with attendant power of attorney over all this parent's personal and financial affairs.
Yesterday, this parent asked to to "take over" all the aspect of parent's life, as s/he was no longer "able to handle it."
OK. I have been doing that already, and now will do it in full.
Many people, having experienced my childhood, would have gone "no contact" and cut off this parent entirely. But because I am kind, and because I am the only person available to do this end-of-life job, I will just do it, because that's the kind of person I am.
In truth, I don't really love this parent. I take care of him/her solely because my personal moral code tells me it is the right thing to do. I would do it for a stranger, so why not my own parent?
Now here's the dilemma:
One of my siblings DID go "no contact" with this parent, many years ago. And for good reason: this sibling had the worst of it when we were growing up. Appalling neglect. But now, this sibling is in dire financial straights -- I mean seriously dire. Has reached out to me for help.
I am unwilling to help much because this sibling is, to be frank, an addict, and the money will likely mostly be used for "enabling" the addict lifestyle.
And so we come full circle:
As of today, I have full and complete access to my PARENT's financial resources. And this parent has asked to me take care of everything, pay every bill, and not even tell him/her about it.
So: I could, very easily, funnel money from the parent's account to the sibling's pocket. And I would be fully within my legal rights to do so, because I have full power of attorney.
But this parent would have an apoplectic fit of fury if s/he ever found out money was being given to this sibling, because the bad blood between the two is deep and intense.
But. in my moral assessment of the situation, the sibling DESERVES the money, despite being an addict and a no-good-nik, because of the terrible neglect s/he endured growing up.
So:
Should I give the parent's money to the sibling, little by little, to help keep sibling off the streets, as "reparations" for past wrongs?
Or should I turn my back on my own sibling, to follow what I know would be my parent's wishes?
This is my New Year's Dilemma. For real.
(I'm going to subtly alter the exact identities and relationships so as to protect the guilty., but the essence of the dilemma remains unchanged.)
Question: What Should I Do? :
My parents, decades ago, were absolutely terrible, terrible parents. Total neglect, totally uncaring narcissism. Parents didn't abuse or molest kids, but parents failed to feed, clothe or take care of kids.
OK, that was decades ago.
Now, one of these parents is very very old and is losing control of faculties. Unfortunately I, as the only responsible now-adult child, have been named as the appointed caregiver, with attendant power of attorney over all this parent's personal and financial affairs.
Yesterday, this parent asked to to "take over" all the aspect of parent's life, as s/he was no longer "able to handle it."
OK. I have been doing that already, and now will do it in full.
Many people, having experienced my childhood, would have gone "no contact" and cut off this parent entirely. But because I am kind, and because I am the only person available to do this end-of-life job, I will just do it, because that's the kind of person I am.
In truth, I don't really love this parent. I take care of him/her solely because my personal moral code tells me it is the right thing to do. I would do it for a stranger, so why not my own parent?
Now here's the dilemma:
One of my siblings DID go "no contact" with this parent, many years ago. And for good reason: this sibling had the worst of it when we were growing up. Appalling neglect. But now, this sibling is in dire financial straights -- I mean seriously dire. Has reached out to me for help.
I am unwilling to help much because this sibling is, to be frank, an addict, and the money will likely mostly be used for "enabling" the addict lifestyle.
And so we come full circle:
As of today, I have full and complete access to my PARENT's financial resources. And this parent has asked to me take care of everything, pay every bill, and not even tell him/her about it.
So: I could, very easily, funnel money from the parent's account to the sibling's pocket. And I would be fully within my legal rights to do so, because I have full power of attorney.
But this parent would have an apoplectic fit of fury if s/he ever found out money was being given to this sibling, because the bad blood between the two is deep and intense.
But. in my moral assessment of the situation, the sibling DESERVES the money, despite being an addict and a no-good-nik, because of the terrible neglect s/he endured growing up.
So:
Should I give the parent's money to the sibling, little by little, to help keep sibling off the streets, as "reparations" for past wrongs?
Or should I turn my back on my own sibling, to follow what I know would be my parent's wishes?
This is my New Year's Dilemma. For real.
Posted by: zombie at January 01, 2016 02:10 PM (jBuUi)
Posted by: Guy Mohawk at January 01, 2016 02:10 PM (ODxAs)
70
We promise to reach across the aisle and work with Democrats to move the country forward. That is what Americans expect from Washington.
Posted by: GOP
You can't make a socialist omelette without breaking a few eggs and promises.
Posted by: GOP
You can't make a socialist omelette without breaking a few eggs and promises.
Posted by: The Great White Snark at January 01, 2016 02:10 PM (aXzL9)
71
I resolve to buy more steak. I think that's as good a resolution as any.
Posted by: Lea at January 01, 2016 02:12 PM (vmMMi)
72
Walk at least 30 mins day, work out at least 3 times week, lose 15 lbs., pay down debt, cease smoking, love my family more, get my life together and stop digging, stop pissing away money, get hotties to have fun with me, buy 2 new concealed carries, don't be so negative, generally kick ass.
Piece of cake.
Piece of cake.
Posted by: oddnot not liking these times at January 01, 2016 02:12 PM (g1MTt)
73
Or should I turn my back on my own sibling, to follow what I know would be my parent's wishes?
As a guardian, you are bound to act in the best interests of the guardee. This sometimes means to act according to their wishes, and sometimes not. The best interest of your sib must be second to that consideration.
As a guardian, you are bound to act in the best interests of the guardee. This sometimes means to act according to their wishes, and sometimes not. The best interest of your sib must be second to that consideration.
Posted by: Grump928(C) says Free Soothie!*, with purchase of commenter of equal or greater value *some restr at January 01, 2016 02:13 PM (rwI+c)
74
I'm sure you'll be shocked. Inside the Tel Aviv shooter's bag, they found a Koran.
Posted by: The Great White Snark at January 01, 2016 02:14 PM (aXzL9)
75
"But now, this sibling is in dire financial straights -- I mean seriously dire. Has reached out to me for help. I am unwilling to help much because this sibling is, to be frank, an
addict, and the money will likely mostly be used for 'enabling' the
addict lifestyle."
Don't respond with help.
Been there, done that. Did not produce any beneficial outcome.
Express sympathies to them over their rough upbringing. That's it.
addict, and the money will likely mostly be used for 'enabling' the
addict lifestyle."
Don't respond with help.
Been there, done that. Did not produce any beneficial outcome.
Express sympathies to them over their rough upbringing. That's it.
Posted by: torquewrench at January 01, 2016 02:14 PM (noWW6)
76
I resolve to only use my super powers for good.
Posted by: tu3031 at January 01, 2016 02:15 PM (EDYaR)
77
Do you love the sibling or feel the same as toward the parent is the first question I would ask.
But personally I would go with the wishes of the parent until the end and then "spread the wealth". Is one child more deserving? Tough one, good luck and bless you, Zombie.
Do you love the sibling or feel the same as toward the parent is the first question I would ask.
But personally I would go with the wishes of the parent until the end and then "spread the wealth". Is one child more deserving? Tough one, good luck and bless you, Zombie.
Posted by: Guy Mohawk at January 01, 2016 02:15 PM (ODxAs)
78
OregonMuse: I resolve to hang out on AoSHQ all day long while drinking beer, and never change my underwear.
So, no lifestyle changes for you, eh?
So, no lifestyle changes for you, eh?
Posted by: mindful webworker - resoloutely at January 01, 2016 02:15 PM (mf0wg)
79
Zombie: I see it you having the opportunity to do the right thing as your parents' proxy. It's "his/her" last chance to do the right thing.
Posted by: Northernlurker at January 01, 2016 02:15 PM (4rzL1)
80
So:
Should I give the parent's money to the sibling, little by little,
to help keep sibling off the streets, as "reparations" for past wrongs?
Nope, IMO. IANAL, but you have a fiduciary responsibility to your parent, i.e., an obligation to act in your parent's best interests - not to right the world's wrongs.
If you want to help your sibling out of your pocket, cool. But helping with your parent's money I think would be wrong, and not much different from your pocketing some of the money for yourself.
Just my $0.02.
Should I give the parent's money to the sibling, little by little,
to help keep sibling off the streets, as "reparations" for past wrongs?
Nope, IMO. IANAL, but you have a fiduciary responsibility to your parent, i.e., an obligation to act in your parent's best interests - not to right the world's wrongs.
If you want to help your sibling out of your pocket, cool. But helping with your parent's money I think would be wrong, and not much different from your pocketing some of the money for yourself.
Just my $0.02.
Posted by: Jay Guevara at January 01, 2016 02:16 PM (oKE6c)
Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at January 01, 2016 02:16 PM (/f6Nd)
82
Lose more weight, get in shape, fly fish more, travel all spring and find a new girl friend.
I thought you were married?
I thought you were married?
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at January 01, 2016 02:16 PM (M+RRn)
83
Posted by: zombie at January 01, 2016 02:10 PM (jBuUi)
I would help the sibling.
If you have been given no specific instructions to not help the sibling, then you are free to trust your gut on this.
I would help the sibling.
If you have been given no specific instructions to not help the sibling, then you are free to trust your gut on this.
Posted by: eman at January 01, 2016 02:17 PM (MQEz6)
84
By the way I do agree with those who say you shouldn't support your siblings addictions.
Posted by: Northernlurker at January 01, 2016 02:17 PM (4rzL1)
85
As a guardian, you are bound to act in the best interests of the guardee. This sometimes means to act according to their wishes, and sometimes not. The best interest of your sib must be second to that consideration.
Posted by: Grump928(C) says Free Soothie!*, with purchase of commenter
of equal or greater value *some restr at January 01, 2016 02:13 PM
(rwI+c)
Just saw this, and I agree. If you can't do this, you shouldn't agree to be the trustee.
Posted by: Grump928(C) says Free Soothie!*, with purchase of commenter
of equal or greater value *some restr at January 01, 2016 02:13 PM
(rwI+c)
Just saw this, and I agree. If you can't do this, you shouldn't agree to be the trustee.
Posted by: Jay Guevara at January 01, 2016 02:17 PM (oKE6c)
86
Or should I turn my back on my own sibling, to follow what I know would be my parent's wishes?
Given your situation, this is a close call, but I think your parent's wishes should take priority.
My 0.02.
Given your situation, this is a close call, but I think your parent's wishes should take priority.
My 0.02.
Posted by: OregonMuse at January 01, 2016 02:18 PM (Ba/+D)
87
Where do people get the foolish notion that a proper White Russian is made with milk?
I can see now this girl is going to require some remedial mixology and many more opportunities for extra credit.
I can see now this girl is going to require some remedial mixology and many more opportunities for extra credit.
Posted by: Fritz at January 01, 2016 02:18 PM (BngQR)
88
Zombie, fidelity. You are in a tough spot. Do what the man/woman in the mirror would agree and support.
Posted by: Count de Monet at January 01, 2016 02:19 PM (JO9+V)
89
Zombie, my $0.02 on your dilemma.
Consider what is most beneficial to your sibling. If you give them money that will end up being used for their addiction, is that actually helping them?
If you know of a way to actually help your sibling (i.e. get a cheap car, some decent clothes, etc) I see no problem with taking some of your parent's money *provided* your parents still have sufficient to live on and it doesn't directly impact their lives.
Being power of attorney means doing what is in the other person's best interest. A good parent always considers their children when evaluating their own best interest. If they haven't done so previously, no harm in you helping that along.
Hope this helps.
Consider what is most beneficial to your sibling. If you give them money that will end up being used for their addiction, is that actually helping them?
If you know of a way to actually help your sibling (i.e. get a cheap car, some decent clothes, etc) I see no problem with taking some of your parent's money *provided* your parents still have sufficient to live on and it doesn't directly impact their lives.
Being power of attorney means doing what is in the other person's best interest. A good parent always considers their children when evaluating their own best interest. If they haven't done so previously, no harm in you helping that along.
Hope this helps.
Posted by: Kevin Canuck at January 01, 2016 02:19 PM (Hlv/w)
90
@68: You have been tasked and have accepted said task of taking good care of your elderly parent. That is your primary and only concern in this situation. Perhaps in doing so you and parent may come to some understanding, even forgiveness I pray for your sake, of what happened during your childhood.
As for your sibling, they have chosen not to interact your parents. They therefore have no need to know about your situation with said parent. As you have said any funds you give them will enable their addiction which ultimately hurts them more.
Help sibling in ways other than funding their addiction via your parent's funds.
As for your sibling, they have chosen not to interact your parents. They therefore have no need to know about your situation with said parent. As you have said any funds you give them will enable their addiction which ultimately hurts them more.
Help sibling in ways other than funding their addiction via your parent's funds.
Posted by: The Man from Athens at January 01, 2016 02:20 PM (lQqij)
91
I resolve not to spend the first two months of 2016 dating things 2015.
Posted by: Weasel at January 01, 2016 02:21 PM (e3bId)
92
77
Do you love the sibling or feel the same as toward the parent is the first question I would ask.
Posted by: Guy Mohawk
Even though it is irrational, I do "love" the sibling more than the parent, because the sibling was a fellow victim in an abusive situation, so we are "bonded" emotionally because of it. And the parent was our tormentor. But to be honest the sibling was never much more helpful or kind to me than the parent was, so I have no reason to be more affectionate toward the sibling than toward the parent. It's just that the sibling had no moral responsibility to "raise me," whereas the parent did, so I feel the sibling was less morally culpable.
But personally I would go with the wishes of the parent until the end and then "spread the wealth". Is one child more deserving?
That's not an issue: The will divides the entire assets equally among the children, and I will follow that to the letter. What I'm talking about is what to do NOW, while the parent is still alive.
Do you love the sibling or feel the same as toward the parent is the first question I would ask.
Posted by: Guy Mohawk
Even though it is irrational, I do "love" the sibling more than the parent, because the sibling was a fellow victim in an abusive situation, so we are "bonded" emotionally because of it. And the parent was our tormentor. But to be honest the sibling was never much more helpful or kind to me than the parent was, so I have no reason to be more affectionate toward the sibling than toward the parent. It's just that the sibling had no moral responsibility to "raise me," whereas the parent did, so I feel the sibling was less morally culpable.
But personally I would go with the wishes of the parent until the end and then "spread the wealth". Is one child more deserving?
That's not an issue: The will divides the entire assets equally among the children, and I will follow that to the letter. What I'm talking about is what to do NOW, while the parent is still alive.
Posted by: zombie at January 01, 2016 02:22 PM (jBuUi)
93
When I'm at the movies watching a love scene
And a lady's hat is blocking half the screen
I resolve not to shout, "Take off that hat!"
I'll remove it gently with a baseball bat.
Spike Jones And His City Slickers 1948 - Happy New Year
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4cYfE7ofTEQ
When I'm at the movies watching a love scene
And a lady's hat is blocking half the screen
I resolve not to shout, "Take off that hat!"
I'll remove it gently with a baseball bat.
Spike Jones And His City Slickers 1948 - Happy New Year
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4cYfE7ofTEQ
Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at January 01, 2016 02:22 PM (kdS6q)
94
Where do people get the foolish notion that a proper White Russian is made with milk?
White Russians are made from youth, naivety, and estrogen.
White Russians are made from youth, naivety, and estrogen.
Posted by: Bandersnatch at January 01, 2016 02:23 PM (1xUj/)
95
Zombie,
Perhaps a compromise - financial help for sibling, but with the condition of rehab/cleaning up.
Won't work unless they want it, of course. Even then it'll be a Sisyphian task. Good luck and God bless.
You're a good egg. I know you'll find the right answer to your own question.
Perhaps a compromise - financial help for sibling, but with the condition of rehab/cleaning up.
Won't work unless they want it, of course. Even then it'll be a Sisyphian task. Good luck and God bless.
You're a good egg. I know you'll find the right answer to your own question.
Posted by: Chi at January 01, 2016 02:23 PM (UICf+)
Posted by: zombie at January 01, 2016 02:23 PM (jBuUi)
97
Zombie I would say treat this sibling issue the same as the parental one. "I would do it for a stranger" If you were a non-related trustee what would you do?
Protect the parent's reputation by setting up some kind of strings attached aid to their child or follow the parent's wishes from the past when they still had full mental faculties?
Protect the parent's reputation by setting up some kind of strings attached aid to their child or follow the parent's wishes from the past when they still had full mental faculties?
Posted by: PaleRider at January 01, 2016 02:23 PM (/jvBG)
98
Consider what is most beneficial to your sibling. If you give them
money that will end up being used for their addiction, is that actually
helping them?
If you know of a way to actually help your sibling (i.e. get a cheap
car, some decent clothes, etc) I see no problem with taking some of
your parent's money *provided* your parents still have sufficient to
live on and it doesn't directly impact their lives.
I don't see the addiction or otherwise as relevant. You shouldn't use a person's resources for a purpose other than their benefit, and/or what they themselves would have used them for.
As for siphoning off some money, suppose that the money runs out before the parent's needs do?
money that will end up being used for their addiction, is that actually
helping them?
If you know of a way to actually help your sibling (i.e. get a cheap
car, some decent clothes, etc) I see no problem with taking some of
your parent's money *provided* your parents still have sufficient to
live on and it doesn't directly impact their lives.
I don't see the addiction or otherwise as relevant. You shouldn't use a person's resources for a purpose other than their benefit, and/or what they themselves would have used them for.
As for siphoning off some money, suppose that the money runs out before the parent's needs do?
Posted by: Jay Guevara at January 01, 2016 02:24 PM (oKE6c)
99
But this parent would have an apoplectic fit of fury if s/he ever found out money was being given to this sibling, because the bad blood between the two is deep and intense.
Posted by: zombie at January 01, 2016 02:10 PM (jBuUi)
If that's true then there really isn't any question.
Posted by: zombie at January 01, 2016 02:10 PM (jBuUi)
If that's true then there really isn't any question.
Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at January 01, 2016 02:25 PM (zc3Db)
100
If the sibling does not know about the full power of attorney, don't tell them. If they are an addict they will start working on you for money and won't stop.
Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at January 01, 2016 02:25 PM (/f6Nd)
101
I am going to ease up a little, and give the other F1 drivers a chance. Sewing up the Championship in the first half of the season just seems unsportsmanlike.
Posted by: Mike Hammer Mitty, etc., etc. at January 01, 2016 02:25 PM (oFSUK)
102
I resolve to be a 'Don Quixote'.... to fight the unbeatable foe..
And yes... people will call me crazy..
And yes... people will call me crazy..
Posted by: BB Wolf at January 01, 2016 02:26 PM (f7rv6)
103
I think you have to follow the parent's wishes, as you said you would help for someone you didn't know. Which seems about the same in this instance.
I think you have to follow the parent's wishes, as you said you would help for someone you didn't know. Which seems about the same in this instance.
Posted by: Guy Mohawk at January 01, 2016 02:26 PM (ODxAs)
104
99 But this parent would have an apoplectic fit of fury if s/he ever found out money was being given to this sibling, because the bad blood between the two is deep and intense.
Posted by: zombie at January 01, 2016 02:10 PM (jBuUi)
If that's true then there really isn't any question.
Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at January 01, 2016 02:25 PM (zc3Db)
This.
Posted by: zombie at January 01, 2016 02:10 PM (jBuUi)
If that's true then there really isn't any question.
Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at January 01, 2016 02:25 PM (zc3Db)
This.
Posted by: Jay Guevara at January 01, 2016 02:27 PM (oKE6c)
105
I have never in my life made a New Year's resolution.
My resolution is to continue that unbroken record.
Oh, shit.
My resolution is to continue that unbroken record.
Oh, shit.
Posted by: rickl at January 01, 2016 02:27 PM (sdi6R)
Posted by: DaveA at January 01, 2016 02:28 PM (DL2i+)
107
I resolve not to spend the first two months of 2016 dating things 2015.
Posted by: Weasel
------------
Good luck with that. I do not write many checks anymore, so the likelihood is reduced, but I *will* do it.
Posted by: Weasel
------------
Good luck with that. I do not write many checks anymore, so the likelihood is reduced, but I *will* do it.
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at January 01, 2016 02:28 PM (oFSUK)
108
So:
Should I give the parent's money to the sibling, little by little, to help keep sibling off the streets, as "reparations" for past wrongs?
Or should I turn my back on my own sibling, to follow what I know would be my parent's wishes?
This is my New Year's Dilemma. For real.
Posted by: zombie at January 01, 2016 02:10 PM (jBuUi)
Sibling DOES NOT deserve parent's money. Period.
Even if kids are good, they are not "entitled" to parents' money unless parents want to give it to them.
You know parent would be appalled; you also know sibling will likely use the money to continue bad habits. To know this and give him/her money anyways is flat out wrong. Morally wrong, IMHO.
If I were you, I'd give sibling NOTHING from parent. If you want to give your own resources, that's up to you. Once you start, sibling will be on your case forever for more.
Good luck.
Should I give the parent's money to the sibling, little by little, to help keep sibling off the streets, as "reparations" for past wrongs?
Or should I turn my back on my own sibling, to follow what I know would be my parent's wishes?
This is my New Year's Dilemma. For real.
Posted by: zombie at January 01, 2016 02:10 PM (jBuUi)
Sibling DOES NOT deserve parent's money. Period.
Even if kids are good, they are not "entitled" to parents' money unless parents want to give it to them.
You know parent would be appalled; you also know sibling will likely use the money to continue bad habits. To know this and give him/her money anyways is flat out wrong. Morally wrong, IMHO.
If I were you, I'd give sibling NOTHING from parent. If you want to give your own resources, that's up to you. Once you start, sibling will be on your case forever for more.
Good luck.
Posted by: Blano at January 01, 2016 02:28 PM (C3E0x)
Posted by: shibumi who is awaiting SMOD at January 01, 2016 02:28 PM (9JJgN)
110
This is my year to finally learn Esperanto.
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at January 01, 2016 02:30 PM (8ZskC)
111
Lose more weight, get in shape, fly fish more, travel all spring and find a new girl friend.
I thought you were married?
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at January 01, 2016 02:16 PM (M+RRn)
Your point?
I thought you were married?
Posted by: FenelonSpoke at January 01, 2016 02:16 PM (M+RRn)
Your point?
Posted by: Blano at January 01, 2016 02:30 PM (C3E0x)
112
I was going to resolve not to scream obscenities at Dear Leader when he shows up on my TV, but I already blew that one this morning.
Posted by: tu3031 at January 01, 2016 02:31 PM (EDYaR)
113
zombie, do you know your parent's wishes or are you guessing at them?
There may be a path where you can do something good for both sides.
I would not turn away from looking for it.
There may be a path where you can do something good for both sides.
I would not turn away from looking for it.
Posted by: eman at January 01, 2016 02:31 PM (MQEz6)
114
I've kept one resolution from 8th grade: never again watch "New Year's Rockin' Eve,"(then with Dick Clark, who knows who hosts it now.
What's sad is it's still there on the tv for me to *not* watch.
What's sad is it's still there on the tv for me to *not* watch.
Posted by: Lizzy at January 01, 2016 02:31 PM (NOIQH)
115
Saving my resolve. Going to need it badly for whatever TFG does going "forward".
Well played first comment. Made me chuckle.
Well played first comment. Made me chuckle.
Posted by: OneIronMacGuffin at January 01, 2016 02:32 PM (NjX7M)
116
87 Where do people get the foolish notion that a proper White Russian is made with milk?
----------------
What is it supposed to be made with?
Personally, I use half & half.
And I like the cheaper Kapali rather than Kahlua - I like the taste much more.
----------------
What is it supposed to be made with?
Personally, I use half & half.
And I like the cheaper Kapali rather than Kahlua - I like the taste much more.
Posted by: Chi at January 01, 2016 02:32 PM (UICf+)
117
OK. counting the responses (THANK YOU to everyone), the "Don't give $$$ to sibling" is leading about 6 to 2 vs. "Give $$$ to sibling."
Would any of you change your vote if you knew that the parent:
a. Has plenty of money, much much more than could ever conceivably be used up for "end of life care," even if it took decades; so by giving some small amount to sibling, it would in no way diminish the care provided to the parent.
b. The parent, in the distant past, did essentially "steal" a very large sum of money from this sibling. I know it is difficult for many of you to grasp, but the parent did horrible, horrible things to us -- not physical abuse, but stuff that in some ways was almost as bad. For example, when we were early teenagers, a distant relative died, and left each of us siblings a relatively hefty sum. But the money was controlled by our parent, as our legal guardian. Guess what? Said parent just pocketed the money and none of us ever saw a dime of it. This devastated my sibling at the time, and contributed to the downhill road toward addiction.
Funneling some small amount of $$$ to the sibling now could be considered payback of that stolen cash.
Change your votes?
Would any of you change your vote if you knew that the parent:
a. Has plenty of money, much much more than could ever conceivably be used up for "end of life care," even if it took decades; so by giving some small amount to sibling, it would in no way diminish the care provided to the parent.
b. The parent, in the distant past, did essentially "steal" a very large sum of money from this sibling. I know it is difficult for many of you to grasp, but the parent did horrible, horrible things to us -- not physical abuse, but stuff that in some ways was almost as bad. For example, when we were early teenagers, a distant relative died, and left each of us siblings a relatively hefty sum. But the money was controlled by our parent, as our legal guardian. Guess what? Said parent just pocketed the money and none of us ever saw a dime of it. This devastated my sibling at the time, and contributed to the downhill road toward addiction.
Funneling some small amount of $$$ to the sibling now could be considered payback of that stolen cash.
Change your votes?
Posted by: zombie at January 01, 2016 02:33 PM (jBuUi)
118
I agree that:
1. While the addictive condition is uncontrolled, any financial assistance will be futile and may in fact make things worse, perhaps fatally. Money falling from the sky will probably result in partying harder.
2. There is a moral responsibility to treat the parent's money as their money, and theirs alone, however difficult this may be. This won't change until the will is executed.
1. While the addictive condition is uncontrolled, any financial assistance will be futile and may in fact make things worse, perhaps fatally. Money falling from the sky will probably result in partying harder.
2. There is a moral responsibility to treat the parent's money as their money, and theirs alone, however difficult this may be. This won't change until the will is executed.
Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at January 01, 2016 02:33 PM (/f6Nd)
119
I resolve to be more resolute about my lack of resolution.
Posted by: Richard McEnroe at January 01, 2016 02:35 PM (Kucy5)
120
I've been hoarding Resolve for years. When the burning times come, you will all be begging to trade your food to me for stain-remover.
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at January 01, 2016 02:36 PM (oFSUK)
Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at January 01, 2016 02:37 PM (/f6Nd)
122
Posted by: zombie at January 01, 2016 02:10 PM (jBuUi)
In your role as caregiver to the parent, your obligation is to properly manage the parent's finances. No matter how much of a bastard the parent was, you can NOT divert $ to another purpose, even if it can be argued that it is morally right to do so.
Also, it would almost certainly be a crime, as in felony. CA has some pretty draconian laws governing caregivers in your situation. And another happy thought: the addict sibling might actually consider turning these laws against you if you don't agree to help him with $.
Hate to say it, but the best thing for you might be to sever your ties here. From what you've described, I see little more than a horrifying minefield of legal and emotional destruction. At the very least, look into passing off the legal aspects of managing the parent's assets to a competent, but emotionally disinterested third party.
Posted by: zombie at January 01, 2016 02:10 PM (jBuUi)
In your role as caregiver to the parent, your obligation is to properly manage the parent's finances. No matter how much of a bastard the parent was, you can NOT divert $ to another purpose, even if it can be argued that it is morally right to do so.
Also, it would almost certainly be a crime, as in felony. CA has some pretty draconian laws governing caregivers in your situation. And another happy thought: the addict sibling might actually consider turning these laws against you if you don't agree to help him with $.
Hate to say it, but the best thing for you might be to sever your ties here. From what you've described, I see little more than a horrifying minefield of legal and emotional destruction. At the very least, look into passing off the legal aspects of managing the parent's assets to a competent, but emotionally disinterested third party.
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at January 01, 2016 02:37 PM (o98Jz)
123
I don't see the addiction or otherwise as relevant. You shouldn't use a person's resources for a purpose other than their benefit, and/or what they themselves would have used them for.
As for siphoning off some money, suppose that the money runs out before the parent's needs do?
Posted by: Jay Guevara
Ah, but you see:
I regard giving money to the sibling as being to the MORAL benefit of the parent, to help erase past sins;
Also, there is no chance of the money running out. That's not an issue. The parent is well-set for assets, and will be cared for fully til the end. Small payouts will be so small as to be irrelevant to the amount available to the parent's care.
As for siphoning off some money, suppose that the money runs out before the parent's needs do?
Posted by: Jay Guevara
Ah, but you see:
I regard giving money to the sibling as being to the MORAL benefit of the parent, to help erase past sins;
Also, there is no chance of the money running out. That's not an issue. The parent is well-set for assets, and will be cared for fully til the end. Small payouts will be so small as to be irrelevant to the amount available to the parent's care.
Posted by: zombie at January 01, 2016 02:37 PM (jBuUi)
124
Change your votes?
Posted by: zombie at January 01, 2016 02:33 PM (jBuUi)
Nope. As for the parent's peculation, two wrongs and all that.
Posted by: zombie at January 01, 2016 02:33 PM (jBuUi)
Nope. As for the parent's peculation, two wrongs and all that.
Posted by: Jay Guevara at January 01, 2016 02:38 PM (oKE6c)
125
2. There is a moral responsibility to treat the parent's money as their money, and theirs alone, however difficult this may be. This won't change until the will is executed.
Posted by: Semi
---------------
Fiduciary responsibility. And here I mean both legally and morally.
Posted by: Semi
---------------
Fiduciary responsibility. And here I mean both legally and morally.
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at January 01, 2016 02:38 PM (oFSUK)
126
Change your votes?
Posted by: zombie at January 01, 2016 02:33 PM (jBuUi)
a. Has plenty of money....irrelevant.
b. The parent, in the distant past, did essentially "steal"....two wrongs don't make a right, especially when you end up enabling an addict, which is what you'll likely do.
Nosy question: any idea how long the parent might live? If the will is being divided equally, could the addict just have to get through until the will is issued?
Again, if you use your own money, that's your call. Parents' money IMHO would not be right.
Posted by: zombie at January 01, 2016 02:33 PM (jBuUi)
a. Has plenty of money....irrelevant.
b. The parent, in the distant past, did essentially "steal"....two wrongs don't make a right, especially when you end up enabling an addict, which is what you'll likely do.
Nosy question: any idea how long the parent might live? If the will is being divided equally, could the addict just have to get through until the will is issued?
Again, if you use your own money, that's your call. Parents' money IMHO would not be right.
Posted by: Blano at January 01, 2016 02:39 PM (C3E0x)
127
Posted by: zombie at January 01, 2016 02:10 PM (jBuUi)
wow zombie, you are a good person.
I don't know the answer. I will pray that you can come to a good decision.
wow zombie, you are a good person.
I don't know the answer. I will pray that you can come to a good decision.
Posted by: @votermom at January 01, 2016 02:39 PM (cbfNE)
128
Posted by: zombie at January 01, 2016 02:33 PM (jBuUi)
The issue with your sibling is irrelevant, to be honest. Your responsibility holding power of attorney is to oversee the use of the funds for your parent's benefit and to carry out their wishes (if they had been able to manage them themselves). If you know that the parent wouldn't give any money to the sibling then that is the only truly legitimate action.
I know that this is not easy. Having an addict sibling is really difficult and always leaves you in an awful position. Tough love is usually tougher on the person having to exercise it. But, even aside from that, your fiduciary duties holding power of attorney are pretty clear.
With an addict sibling, there is never a satisfactory solution to the problems that they constantly bring to the family.
The issue with your sibling is irrelevant, to be honest. Your responsibility holding power of attorney is to oversee the use of the funds for your parent's benefit and to carry out their wishes (if they had been able to manage them themselves). If you know that the parent wouldn't give any money to the sibling then that is the only truly legitimate action.
I know that this is not easy. Having an addict sibling is really difficult and always leaves you in an awful position. Tough love is usually tougher on the person having to exercise it. But, even aside from that, your fiduciary duties holding power of attorney are pretty clear.
With an addict sibling, there is never a satisfactory solution to the problems that they constantly bring to the family.
Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at January 01, 2016 02:40 PM (zc3Db)
129
>>>What is it supposed to be made with?
Personally, I use half half.<<<
Fresh cream. Yeah, the "fresh" is for snobs, - and for mentors looking to whip a firm, young protege into shape.
Personally, I use half half.<<<
Fresh cream. Yeah, the "fresh" is for snobs, - and for mentors looking to whip a firm, young protege into shape.
Posted by: Fritz at January 01, 2016 02:40 PM (BngQR)
130
100 If the sibling does not know about the full power of attorney, don't tell them. If they are an addict they will start working on you for money and won't stop.
Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug /i]
Oh, I know that. Trust me, I will never tell the sibling that I have full access to the parent's money.
If I do help the sibling, it will be done in ways that the sibling will not really know where it's coming from.
Also, many here have noted how unwise it is to give addicts cash. I know that. I was thinking more along the lines of helping to pay rent, giving the money directly to the landlord. Otherwise, sibling will likely be living in the gutter.
Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug /i]
Oh, I know that. Trust me, I will never tell the sibling that I have full access to the parent's money.
If I do help the sibling, it will be done in ways that the sibling will not really know where it's coming from.
Also, many here have noted how unwise it is to give addicts cash. I know that. I was thinking more along the lines of helping to pay rent, giving the money directly to the landlord. Otherwise, sibling will likely be living in the gutter.
Posted by: zombie at January 01, 2016 02:40 PM (jBuUi)
131
I resolve to only kill as many hobos as I can eat. And to make useful things out of their skin and entrails, rather than throwing those parts away.
Posted by: dustydog at January 01, 2016 02:40 PM (JgGr4)
132
I resolve to snap in and dry fire just as much as I live fire.
I resolve to shoot both .223 and 5.56 in both my .223 and 5.56 rifles.
I resolve to buy a Jap Type 26 revolver and actually fire the darn thing.
I resolve to shoot both .223 and 5.56 in both my .223 and 5.56 rifles.
I resolve to buy a Jap Type 26 revolver and actually fire the darn thing.
Posted by: Hairyback Guy at January 01, 2016 02:40 PM (ej1L0)
133
unitalic
Posted by: zombie at January 01, 2016 02:40 PM (jBuUi)
134
Ah, but you see:
I regard giving money to the sibling as being to the MORAL benefit of the parent, to help erase past sins;
Posted by: zombie at January 01, 2016 02:37 PM (jBuUi)
With all due respect and sincerity, that's not your call.
I regard giving money to the sibling as being to the MORAL benefit of the parent, to help erase past sins;
Posted by: zombie at January 01, 2016 02:37 PM (jBuUi)
With all due respect and sincerity, that's not your call.
Posted by: Blano at January 01, 2016 02:40 PM (C3E0x)
135
123 I don't see the addiction or otherwise as relevant. You shouldn't use a person's resources for a purpose other than their benefit, and/or what they themselves would have used them for.
As for siphoning off some money, suppose that the money runs out before the parent's needs do?
Posted by: Jay Guevara
Ah, but you see:
I regard giving money to the sibling as being to the MORAL benefit of the parent, to help erase past sins;
Also, there is no chance of the money running out. That's not an issue. The parent is well-set for assets, and will be cared for fully til the end. Small payouts will be so small as to be irrelevant to the amount available to the parent's care.
Posted by: zombie at January 01, 2016 02:37 PM (jBuUi)
***
Jeez!
And here I thought my "trunk full of free, untraceable liquor, a girlfriend, and a cute little girl half my age and very interested" scenario was a moral conundrum......
As for siphoning off some money, suppose that the money runs out before the parent's needs do?
Posted by: Jay Guevara
Ah, but you see:
I regard giving money to the sibling as being to the MORAL benefit of the parent, to help erase past sins;
Also, there is no chance of the money running out. That's not an issue. The parent is well-set for assets, and will be cared for fully til the end. Small payouts will be so small as to be irrelevant to the amount available to the parent's care.
Posted by: zombie at January 01, 2016 02:37 PM (jBuUi)
***
Jeez!
And here I thought my "trunk full of free, untraceable liquor, a girlfriend, and a cute little girl half my age and very interested" scenario was a moral conundrum......
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Still Accepting Harem Applicants at January 01, 2016 02:40 PM (lutOX)
136
At the very least, look into passing off the legal aspects of managing the parent's assets to a competent, but emotionally disinterested third party.
---
^This.
---
^This.
Posted by: Y-not (@moxiemom) at January 01, 2016 02:41 PM (t5zYU)
137
But what I said before is still true--
If an addict learns that you control your parent's money, the manipulation will never stop.
If an addict learns that you control your parent's money, the manipulation will never stop.
Posted by: Semi-Literate Thug at January 01, 2016 02:41 PM (/f6Nd)
138
I prefer goals that I set and try to accomplish rather than resolutions.
2016 Goals
-Physical-
squat 315
deadlift 405
overhead press 225
bench press 225
Run 7 minute mile
50 push ups in two minutes
Pass scholar test at Black Falcon School of Arms
-Mental-
Complete Differential Equations Class
Apply for graduate school
50% fluency in Russian according to Duolingo
Blog once per week
-Social-
Attend one milonga per month
Attend one Tango Festival
Attend one Opera/Ballet performance
Attend one contra dance per quarter
-Professional-
Find a new job
2016 Goals
-Physical-
squat 315
deadlift 405
overhead press 225
bench press 225
Run 7 minute mile
50 push ups in two minutes
Pass scholar test at Black Falcon School of Arms
-Mental-
Complete Differential Equations Class
Apply for graduate school
50% fluency in Russian according to Duolingo
Blog once per week
-Social-
Attend one milonga per month
Attend one Tango Festival
Attend one Opera/Ballet performance
Attend one contra dance per quarter
-Professional-
Find a new job
Posted by: Colorado Alex at January 01, 2016 02:41 PM (fC9RO)
139
Finish Book 12 with help from Anna and Polli.
Spend an hour a day, three days a week, with my bass.
Make it to the range at least once a month.
Purchase 100 ounces of silver.
Add a Sig 2022 and 556xi to my arsenal.
Spend an hour a day, three days a week, with my bass.
Make it to the range at least once a month.
Purchase 100 ounces of silver.
Add a Sig 2022 and 556xi to my arsenal.
Posted by: V the K at January 01, 2016 02:41 PM (G/+Ma)
140
I made that resolution last year. I only use my debit card, never cash... but that means my jar full of quarters isn't getting any fuller, alas.
Posted by: BurtTC at January 01, 2016 01:55 PM (Dj0WE)
So do I. I send checks for bills, but only cash when I have to (very rarely). I save a lot more than before, but yeah, the quarter/change jug sits forlornly, slowly losing weight.
Posted by: BurtTC at January 01, 2016 01:55 PM (Dj0WE)
So do I. I send checks for bills, but only cash when I have to (very rarely). I save a lot more than before, but yeah, the quarter/change jug sits forlornly, slowly losing weight.
Posted by: 98ZJUSMC Staring at the Lake in the rain at January 01, 2016 02:41 PM (WWdgA)
141
Get PMP certification.
Posted by: V the K at January 01, 2016 02:42 PM (G/+Ma)
142
>>I regard giving money to the sibling as being to the MORAL benefit of the parent, to help erase past sins;
If you won't give your sibling your money because you believe he/she will use it to enable their addiction then what would be moral about giving them your parent's money to do the same thing?
I don't doubt your parent treated you and your sibling miserably during your childhood but the solution to that isn't to steal from them now. Won't help your sibling and won't help you.
If you won't give your sibling your money because you believe he/she will use it to enable their addiction then what would be moral about giving them your parent's money to do the same thing?
I don't doubt your parent treated you and your sibling miserably during your childhood but the solution to that isn't to steal from them now. Won't help your sibling and won't help you.
Posted by: JackStraw at January 01, 2016 02:42 PM (/tuJf)
143
O/T, but you need to make this:
http://gardenandgun.com/article/cast-iron-recipe-kilt-greens-bacon-jam
The bacon "jam" is heavenly. I'm considering putting it on ice cream.
http://gardenandgun.com/article/cast-iron-recipe-kilt-greens-bacon-jam
The bacon "jam" is heavenly. I'm considering putting it on ice cream.
Posted by: Y-not (@moxiemom) at January 01, 2016 02:43 PM (t5zYU)
144
I resolve to lose 10 lbs., to stop playing in the various lotteries and (this is the hard one) to stop eating so much canned chili.
Posted by: CozMark at January 01, 2016 02:43 PM (CbGSW)
145
Zombie, life is short. What difference will it make in 10 years?
Give her the money, move on.
I had a situation sort of like this. We use to have a farm in VA. My dad bought out his two sisters. One sister took a third of the farm on the other side of the highway and sold it.
The other sister my dad gave her cash. Well my dad dies and I see all the paper work on the deal. So the farm is mine in total.
Ten years later the sister my dad paid, a retired school teacher who didn't save shit, calls my mom and asks us to sell the farm because she needs money to enter a nursing home.
I explain to mom, hey, she has NO interest in the farm and it's my inheritance.
We sold the farm.
Give her the money, move on.
I had a situation sort of like this. We use to have a farm in VA. My dad bought out his two sisters. One sister took a third of the farm on the other side of the highway and sold it.
The other sister my dad gave her cash. Well my dad dies and I see all the paper work on the deal. So the farm is mine in total.
Ten years later the sister my dad paid, a retired school teacher who didn't save shit, calls my mom and asks us to sell the farm because she needs money to enter a nursing home.
I explain to mom, hey, she has NO interest in the farm and it's my inheritance.
We sold the farm.
Posted by: Nip Sip at January 01, 2016 02:43 PM (jJRIy)
146
131 I resolve to only kill as many hobos as I can eat. And to make useful things out of their skin and entrails, rather than throwing those parts away.
Posted by: dustydog at January 01, 2016 02:40 PM (JgGr4)
***
Stewardship. Admirable, sir, very admirable.
Posted by: dustydog at January 01, 2016 02:40 PM (JgGr4)
***
Stewardship. Admirable, sir, very admirable.
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Still Accepting Harem Applicants at January 01, 2016 02:44 PM (lutOX)
147
I regard giving money to the sibling as being to the MORAL benefit of the parent, to help erase past sins;
Also, there is no chance of the money running out. That's not an
issue. The parent is well-set for assets, and will be cared for fully
til the end. Small payouts will be so small as to be irrelevant to the
amount available to the parent's care.
Posted by: zombie at January 01, 2016 02:37 PM (jBuUi)
C'mon, zombie, the "moral benefit" argument is a rationalization. You're being trusted to do what your parent wants. You know what your parent wants, and that is not it. It's that simple.
I raised the "suppose the money runs out" aspect not as a practical matter, but rather as a conceptual one, as a thought experiment, a way of clarifying the issues. If the trustee should divert any of the funds to another purpose, and later the trustor suffers as a result, the trustee would seem to me to be not only morally but probably legally culpable for not exercising his/her fiduciary responsibility. That's because what the trustee did - in diverting some of the funds, against the trustor's desire - was wrong.
Shit, I shoulda become a lawyer. What's that? Sounds like an ambulance siren outside. BRB.
Also, there is no chance of the money running out. That's not an
issue. The parent is well-set for assets, and will be cared for fully
til the end. Small payouts will be so small as to be irrelevant to the
amount available to the parent's care.
Posted by: zombie at January 01, 2016 02:37 PM (jBuUi)
C'mon, zombie, the "moral benefit" argument is a rationalization. You're being trusted to do what your parent wants. You know what your parent wants, and that is not it. It's that simple.
I raised the "suppose the money runs out" aspect not as a practical matter, but rather as a conceptual one, as a thought experiment, a way of clarifying the issues. If the trustee should divert any of the funds to another purpose, and later the trustor suffers as a result, the trustee would seem to me to be not only morally but probably legally culpable for not exercising his/her fiduciary responsibility. That's because what the trustee did - in diverting some of the funds, against the trustor's desire - was wrong.
Shit, I shoulda become a lawyer. What's that? Sounds like an ambulance siren outside. BRB.
Posted by: Jay Guevara at January 01, 2016 02:44 PM (oKE6c)
148
I'm gonna go remorseful here, but what about the posters we haven't heard from in a while?
For me, wrg500. He was a good sumbitch. He bought a spot up in Alaska and was planning to move there next summer. Then, nothing.
For me, wrg500. He was a good sumbitch. He bought a spot up in Alaska and was planning to move there next summer. Then, nothing.
Posted by: Ricardo Kill at January 01, 2016 02:45 PM (7c+7v)
149
Who or what is a milongo?
Posted by: Bandersnatch at January 01, 2016 02:45 PM (1xUj/)
150
114 I've kept one resolution from 8th grade: never again watch "New Year's Rockin' Eve,"(then with Dick Clark, who knows who hosts it now.
What's sad is it's still there on the tv for me to *not* watch.
Posted by: Lizzy at January 01, 2016 02:31 PM (NOIQH)
I said last night that New Year's Eve just hasn't been the same since Guy Lombardo died.
What's sad is it's still there on the tv for me to *not* watch.
Posted by: Lizzy at January 01, 2016 02:31 PM (NOIQH)
I said last night that New Year's Eve just hasn't been the same since Guy Lombardo died.
Posted by: rickl at January 01, 2016 02:45 PM (sdi6R)
151
If you do choose to give your sibling money, don't justify for reasons of "justice" and "righting wrongs". It can't be done. (c.f. Norther Ireland, Black Lives Matter, etc) You can't fix previous wrongs, don't try.
If you choose to help, The motive here needs to be love for your sibling and your parents. Even if you don't feel it, you can act it (or at least try your best to navigate this thorny dilemma).
If you choose to help, The motive here needs to be love for your sibling and your parents. Even if you don't feel it, you can act it (or at least try your best to navigate this thorny dilemma).
Posted by: Kevin Canuck at January 01, 2016 02:45 PM (Hlv/w)
152
113 zombie, do you know your parent's wishes or are you guessing at them?
There may be a path where you can do something good for both sides.
Posted by: eman
It's actually very complicated.
My parent, on some level, DOES want to help the sibling. But feels frustrated because of the anger they feel towards each other.
Parent is also a terrible miser, making it even more complicated.
The few people who personally know both parent and sibling, and who know the real history between the two, unanimously deem the PARENT as being entirely morally culpable for the situation. Most are appalled beyond human understanding.
Somewhere in that black heart, however, is a longing wish to right past wrongs. Parent has said so.
There may be a path where you can do something good for both sides.
Posted by: eman
It's actually very complicated.
My parent, on some level, DOES want to help the sibling. But feels frustrated because of the anger they feel towards each other.
Parent is also a terrible miser, making it even more complicated.
The few people who personally know both parent and sibling, and who know the real history between the two, unanimously deem the PARENT as being entirely morally culpable for the situation. Most are appalled beyond human understanding.
Somewhere in that black heart, however, is a longing wish to right past wrongs. Parent has said so.
Posted by: zombie at January 01, 2016 02:45 PM (jBuUi)
153
milonga, my bad.
Posted by: Bandersnatch at January 01, 2016 02:46 PM (1xUj/)
154
I can't reply to each and every comment; just know that I am reading them ALL and digesting/pondering each one.
Thanks to all.
Thanks to all.
Posted by: zombie at January 01, 2016 02:46 PM (jBuUi)
155
Who or what is a milongo?
Posted by: Bandersnatch at January 01, 2016 02:45 PM (1xUj/)
A milonga is a type of Argentine dance. It's also an event where people dance milongas, tangos, etc.
Posted by: Bandersnatch at January 01, 2016 02:45 PM (1xUj/)
A milonga is a type of Argentine dance. It's also an event where people dance milongas, tangos, etc.
Posted by: Colorado Alex at January 01, 2016 02:46 PM (fC9RO)
156
This is my New Year's Dilemma. For real.
Posted by: zombie at January 01, 2016 02:10 PM (jBuUi)
I don't have good advice, just a principal. You are the one who makes this decision and you are the one who has to live with the results. So make sure you do the moral thing, and most importantly understand why it is the moral thing for you. Articulate it well
(and full honors to you, I've read your writing, you are good at that, I have no fear of that)
Now, I don't talk about my life much because it has been soft and lucky and full of friendly unicorns, but I have an ungodly number of close relatives who are users.
Giving them money will do them no good.
Telling them they are in a bad place and they will get out doesn't help.
Enabling does nothing but waste my time, my money and get me grief because I am not providing better.
I have seen this in other families.
I have played with this in minor evolutions in my own relationships.
This is as close to advice as I am willing to go.
hugs Zombie.
Posted by: zombie at January 01, 2016 02:10 PM (jBuUi)
I don't have good advice, just a principal. You are the one who makes this decision and you are the one who has to live with the results. So make sure you do the moral thing, and most importantly understand why it is the moral thing for you. Articulate it well
(and full honors to you, I've read your writing, you are good at that, I have no fear of that)
Now, I don't talk about my life much because it has been soft and lucky and full of friendly unicorns, but I have an ungodly number of close relatives who are users.
Giving them money will do them no good.
Telling them they are in a bad place and they will get out doesn't help.
Enabling does nothing but waste my time, my money and get me grief because I am not providing better.
I have seen this in other families.
I have played with this in minor evolutions in my own relationships.
This is as close to advice as I am willing to go.
hugs Zombie.
Posted by: Kindltot at January 01, 2016 02:47 PM (q2o38)
157
Not changing my vote, zombie (I knew of your upbringing already from reading your posts for years).
I think you have already decided what is "right," and I agree.
Help the sibling - but probably with conditions.
And damn the legality of it. Sibling probably wouldn't be where he/she is now if it weren't for the parenting (or lack thereof).
Karma is real, and she is a bitch.
I think you have already decided what is "right," and I agree.
Help the sibling - but probably with conditions.
And damn the legality of it. Sibling probably wouldn't be where he/she is now if it weren't for the parenting (or lack thereof).
Karma is real, and she is a bitch.
Posted by: Chi at January 01, 2016 02:47 PM (UICf+)
158
I resolve to learn shape shifting this year because I know my Jooish neighbor is doing it, just haven't caught him at it...yet.
Posted by: DJ Jazzy Mel at January 01, 2016 02:48 PM (22uju)
159
calls my mom and asks us to sell the farm because she needs money to enter a nursing home.
Mom's around to watch a daughter enter a nursing home.
o.O?
Huh........
Mom's around to watch a daughter enter a nursing home.
o.O?
Huh........
Posted by: 98ZJUSMC Staring at the Lake in the rain at January 01, 2016 02:48 PM (WWdgA)
160
*waves to V the K*
You can do it with book 12.
Serious resolutions:
1. Get job
2. Finish writing book.
Daydream resolutions:
Winning the lottery tonight. $80 million cash? Sure, not greedy at all.
You can do it with book 12.
Serious resolutions:
1. Get job
2. Finish writing book.
Daydream resolutions:
Winning the lottery tonight. $80 million cash? Sure, not greedy at all.
Posted by: Anna Puma at January 01, 2016 02:48 PM (OEWRk)
161
I was going to joke that zombie has a bigger problem - coming to the Horde for moral advice - but I can't.
It's always impressive how this rabble rises to such occasions. Even with differing answers, you get good reasoning for them, which won't make your decision for you, but surely helps in thinking things through.
Then, right back to booze and boobs, guns and bad puns.
It's always impressive how this rabble rises to such occasions. Even with differing answers, you get good reasoning for them, which won't make your decision for you, but surely helps in thinking things through.
Then, right back to booze and boobs, guns and bad puns.
Posted by: mindful webworker - truly at January 01, 2016 02:48 PM (mf0wg)
162
I resolve not to mention the Mississippi State/ NC State game.
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at January 01, 2016 02:49 PM (oFSUK)
163
A milonga is a type of Argentine dance. It's also an event where people dance milongas, tangos, etc.
Posted by: Colorado Alex at January 01, 2016 02:46 PM (fC9RO)
"Milla longa"? That big of a place to dance? How wide-a is it?
Posted by: Colorado Alex at January 01, 2016 02:46 PM (fC9RO)
"Milla longa"? That big of a place to dance? How wide-a is it?
Posted by: Kindltot - channeling Chico at January 01, 2016 02:49 PM (q2o38)
164
>>Somewhere in that black heart, however, is a longing wish to right past wrongs. Parent has said so.
So why not work that aspect. Maybe you can get your parent to see the light.
Sounds as if your parent has some faith in your judgement since he/she asked you to be their fiscal guardian, perhaps they will listen to you if you explain that your sibling is in need and could use their help.
Hell, you could even make it a condition of your guardianship that they at least try to have a resolution with your sibling. Worth a try.
So why not work that aspect. Maybe you can get your parent to see the light.
Sounds as if your parent has some faith in your judgement since he/she asked you to be their fiscal guardian, perhaps they will listen to you if you explain that your sibling is in need and could use their help.
Hell, you could even make it a condition of your guardianship that they at least try to have a resolution with your sibling. Worth a try.
Posted by: JackStraw at January 01, 2016 02:49 PM (/tuJf)
165
In 2016 I will get myself into a position where I can pay my bills by working at Walmart if necessary.
Small house. Low or no mortgage. Drive current car for at least two more years. Put money in savings.
Small house. Low or no mortgage. Drive current car for at least two more years. Put money in savings.
Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 01, 2016 02:50 PM (8PbKi)
166
On a philosophical note, I think that making resolutions are bad. Girl928 once pointed out to me that planning to do something gives almost as much psychological reward as actually doing it. So thinking about doing something actually postpones you doing it.
As Yoda might say: 'Do, or Do not'.
As Yoda might say: 'Do, or Do not'.
Posted by: Grump928(C) says Free Soothie!*, with purchase of commenter of equal or greater value *some restr at January 01, 2016 02:51 PM (rwI+c)
167
The issue with your sibling is irrelevant, to be
honest. Your responsibility holding power of attorney is to oversee the
use of the funds for your parent's benefit and to carry out their
wishes (if they had been able to manage them themselves). If you know
that the parent wouldn't give any money to the sibling then that is the
only truly legitimate action.
Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at January 01, 2016 02:40 PM (zc3Db)
This.
Suppose the parent had given control of the money to a trust department, CPA, or such. Would that fiduciary be justified in doing anything with the trustor's money other than acting in the best interests of the trustor? The fact that the trustee is a third party to the family is irrelevant; once again, the thought experiment I think clarifies the issues.
Similarly, if you were the trustor, how would you react if the trustee decided to donate some of your money to an especially odious leftist cause to make "moral amends" for your having hung out at the HQ?
honest. Your responsibility holding power of attorney is to oversee the
use of the funds for your parent's benefit and to carry out their
wishes (if they had been able to manage them themselves). If you know
that the parent wouldn't give any money to the sibling then that is the
only truly legitimate action.
Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at January 01, 2016 02:40 PM (zc3Db)
This.
Suppose the parent had given control of the money to a trust department, CPA, or such. Would that fiduciary be justified in doing anything with the trustor's money other than acting in the best interests of the trustor? The fact that the trustee is a third party to the family is irrelevant; once again, the thought experiment I think clarifies the issues.
Similarly, if you were the trustor, how would you react if the trustee decided to donate some of your money to an especially odious leftist cause to make "moral amends" for your having hung out at the HQ?
Posted by: Jay Guevara at January 01, 2016 02:51 PM (oKE6c)
168
Mom's around to watch a daughter enter a nursing home.
o.O?
Huh........
Posted by: 98ZJUSMC Staring at the Lake in the rain at January 01, 2016 02:48 PM (WWdgA)
No, Nip Sip's aunt called his mother (her sis-in-law) and asked them to sell the family farm to pay for her nursing home.
o.O?
Huh........
Posted by: 98ZJUSMC Staring at the Lake in the rain at January 01, 2016 02:48 PM (WWdgA)
No, Nip Sip's aunt called his mother (her sis-in-law) and asked them to sell the family farm to pay for her nursing home.
Posted by: Colorado Alex at January 01, 2016 02:52 PM (fC9RO)
Posted by: ThunderB at January 01, 2016 02:52 PM (zOTsN)
170
Zombie - a couple of thoughts.
My folks were pretty awful when I was a kid, so I understand the maelstrom of mixed and hard feelings. That being said, if you have been given power of attorney, then regardless of what jurisdiction you're in you typically have a fiduciary duty to the principal on whose behalf you exercise that power. Secreting the principal's money to the sibling, especially when you know they would NEVER do that on their own, could be viewed as a violation of that duty and expose you to liability to the principal or the principal's estate after death.
Also, while I'm not familiar with Cali law on the subject, there is the possibility that diverting the money from the principal to the sibling could be considered exploitation of a vulnerable adult, which in turn may be a criminal offense.
So, you have some pretty good reasons NOT to give the sibling any of the principal's money.
My folks were pretty awful when I was a kid, so I understand the maelstrom of mixed and hard feelings. That being said, if you have been given power of attorney, then regardless of what jurisdiction you're in you typically have a fiduciary duty to the principal on whose behalf you exercise that power. Secreting the principal's money to the sibling, especially when you know they would NEVER do that on their own, could be viewed as a violation of that duty and expose you to liability to the principal or the principal's estate after death.
Also, while I'm not familiar with Cali law on the subject, there is the possibility that diverting the money from the principal to the sibling could be considered exploitation of a vulnerable adult, which in turn may be a criminal offense.
So, you have some pretty good reasons NOT to give the sibling any of the principal's money.
Posted by: Insomniac - Pale Horse/Death 2016 at January 01, 2016 02:53 PM (kpqmD)
171
Keeping your brother off the streets I wouldnt call enabling.
Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at January 01, 2016 02:54 PM (iQIUe)
172
Good luck in your job search, Niedy!
Posted by: Y-not (@moxiemom) at January 01, 2016 02:54 PM (t5zYU)
173
I agree that zombie shouldn't give the sibling money without the parent's permission. And this is something that needs to be addressed. If the sibling's addiction is related to their mistreatment, then the parent has a moral duty to try and provide help, and zombie should bring it up.
Posted by: Colorado Alex at January 01, 2016 02:54 PM (fC9RO)
174
161 I was going to joke that zombie has a bigger problem - coming to the Horde for moral advice - but I can't.
It's always impressive how this rabble rises to such occasions. Even with differing answers, you get good reasoning for them, which won't make your decision for you, but surely helps in thinking things through.
Then, right back to booze and boobs, guns and bad puns.
Posted by: mindful webworker - truly at January 01, 2016 02:48 PM (mf0wg)
The Horde is comprised of some of the crassest, drunkest, smartest motherfvckers I've ever come across.
It's always impressive how this rabble rises to such occasions. Even with differing answers, you get good reasoning for them, which won't make your decision for you, but surely helps in thinking things through.
Then, right back to booze and boobs, guns and bad puns.
Posted by: mindful webworker - truly at January 01, 2016 02:48 PM (mf0wg)
The Horde is comprised of some of the crassest, drunkest, smartest motherfvckers I've ever come across.
Posted by: Insomniac - Pale Horse/Death 2016 at January 01, 2016 02:54 PM (kpqmD)
175
Nobody? Nobody remember's wrg?
Posted by: Ricardo Kill at January 01, 2016 02:55 PM (9u6SJ)
176
@168 Thanks CO Alex, I didn't think I explained it that poorly.
Posted by: Nip Sip at January 01, 2016 02:55 PM (jJRIy)
177
In 2016 I will get myself into a position where I can pay my bills by working at Walmart if necessary.
Small house. Low or no mortgage. Drive current car for at least two more years. Put money in savings.
Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 01, 2016 02:50 PM (8PbKi)
If I can manage to sell my house in El Paso, then I'll be in that position. No debts, or obligations tying me down.
Small house. Low or no mortgage. Drive current car for at least two more years. Put money in savings.
Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 01, 2016 02:50 PM (8PbKi)
If I can manage to sell my house in El Paso, then I'll be in that position. No debts, or obligations tying me down.
Posted by: Colorado Alex at January 01, 2016 02:55 PM (fC9RO)
178
Girl928 once pointed out to me that planning to do something gives almost as much psychological reward as actually doing it.
-----------------
I generally point out that there is a large difference between an idea , and a plan. Mrs. H. is given to ideas ("I would like to remodel the kitchen."), but not so much to plans, which are actually and practically executable.
-----------------
I generally point out that there is a large difference between an idea , and a plan. Mrs. H. is given to ideas ("I would like to remodel the kitchen."), but not so much to plans, which are actually and practically executable.
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at January 01, 2016 02:55 PM (oFSUK)
179
Good luck in your job search, Niedy!
****
thank you!
I've decided that if I don't find a suitable job before the end of the month, I'll do temp work; filing, receptionist, etc... to stay busy whilst searching.
I can't sit at home and become depressed.
****
thank you!
I've decided that if I don't find a suitable job before the end of the month, I'll do temp work; filing, receptionist, etc... to stay busy whilst searching.
I can't sit at home and become depressed.
Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 01, 2016 02:56 PM (8PbKi)
180
Eff this "endeavor to persevere" crap.
I'm going to persevere to endeavor.
You're not the boss of me.
I'm going to persevere to endeavor.
You're not the boss of me.
Posted by: Brother Cavil, hither and yon at January 01, 2016 02:56 PM (m9V0o)
181
When I was sixty-one
It was a very good year.
It was a very good year for Black Lives Matter and rioting thugs.
They'd loot and they'd run.
When I was sixty-one.
It was a very good year.
It was a very good year for Black Lives Matter and rioting thugs.
They'd loot and they'd run.
When I was sixty-one.
Posted by: The Great White Snark at January 01, 2016 02:57 PM (Nwg0u)
182
For me, wrg500. He was a good sumbitch. He bought a spot up in Alaska and was planning to move there next summer. Then, nothing.
Posted by: Ricardo Kill at January 01, 2016 02:45 PM (7c+7v)
Maybe all those spiders he kept posting finally got him...
Posted by: Ricardo Kill at January 01, 2016 02:45 PM (7c+7v)
Maybe all those spiders he kept posting finally got him...
Posted by: Insomniac - Pale Horse/Death 2016 at January 01, 2016 02:57 PM (kpqmD)
183
@68 zombie
My $.02: If you know any funds given to the sibling to support an addiction, and not be used to feed, shelter, clothe, then you shouldn't give anything.
If you are the beneficiary of the funds when the parent kicks the bucket, you are free to relinquish anything you want.
My $.02: If you know any funds given to the sibling to support an addiction, and not be used to feed, shelter, clothe, then you shouldn't give anything.
If you are the beneficiary of the funds when the parent kicks the bucket, you are free to relinquish anything you want.
Posted by: Buckeye Abroad at January 01, 2016 02:57 PM (z3Leh)
Posted by: mindful webworker - nuffin 2 add at January 01, 2016 02:57 PM (mf0wg)
185
Parent is also a terrible miser, making it even more complicated.
The few people who personally know both parent and sibling, and who
know the real history between the two, unanimously deem the PARENT as
being entirely morally culpable for the situation. Most are appalled
beyond human understanding.
So, in a word, "reparations?"
The few people who personally know both parent and sibling, and who
know the real history between the two, unanimously deem the PARENT as
being entirely morally culpable for the situation. Most are appalled
beyond human understanding.
So, in a word, "reparations?"
Posted by: Jay Guevara at January 01, 2016 02:58 PM (oKE6c)
186
On the subject of hobos:
There's a hobo-jungle right next to the main cash-cow of the boss' network of enterprises, and, frankly, between the stench of unwashed dirtbags and the whiffs of smoke from their meth-pipes and garbage-fuelled fires (to say nothing of the indescribable funk from their evacuating and pissing wherever the spirit moves them), it's all a bit too much.
The city won't do a damned thing about it, of course. A colleague asked me for my suggestion, and I gave it.
"It's an enclosed space between two large structures, both masonry. Molotovs. One at each end, to cut off escape, and then a few more in the middle, for good measure."
She said I was harsh and vicious and cruel, and asked if I wanted to have drinks after work.
There's a hobo-jungle right next to the main cash-cow of the boss' network of enterprises, and, frankly, between the stench of unwashed dirtbags and the whiffs of smoke from their meth-pipes and garbage-fuelled fires (to say nothing of the indescribable funk from their evacuating and pissing wherever the spirit moves them), it's all a bit too much.
The city won't do a damned thing about it, of course. A colleague asked me for my suggestion, and I gave it.
"It's an enclosed space between two large structures, both masonry. Molotovs. One at each end, to cut off escape, and then a few more in the middle, for good measure."
She said I was harsh and vicious and cruel, and asked if I wanted to have drinks after work.
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Still Accepting Harem Applicants at January 01, 2016 02:58 PM (lutOX)
187
I resolve to buy a Jap Type 26 revolver and actually fire the darn thing.
Posted by: Hairyback Guy at January 01, 2016 02:40 PM (ej1L0)
If you find a source for Type 26 brass please post on each gum thread. I know some people who are interested.
Posted by: Hairyback Guy at January 01, 2016 02:40 PM (ej1L0)
If you find a source for Type 26 brass please post on each gum thread. I know some people who are interested.
Posted by: Kindltot - channeling Chico at January 01, 2016 02:58 PM (q2o38)
188
If I can manage to sell my house in El Paso, then I'll be in that position. No debts, or obligations tying me down.
***
I hope it works out that way for you. The pressure to have more and more and bigger and bigger is killing us all.
I stumbled upon a tiny little farmhouse with a bank notice on the door. I'm going to contact the owner and see if they want to sell before foreclosure takes hold.
***
I hope it works out that way for you. The pressure to have more and more and bigger and bigger is killing us all.
I stumbled upon a tiny little farmhouse with a bank notice on the door. I'm going to contact the owner and see if they want to sell before foreclosure takes hold.
Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 01, 2016 02:58 PM (8PbKi)
189
Insomniac is right. Fiduciary duty is to the parent, not the sister
Posted by: ThunderB at January 01, 2016 02:58 PM (zOTsN)
190
never again watch "New Year's Rockin' Eve,"(then with Dick Clark, who knows who hosts it now.
Posted by: Lizzy at January 01, 2016 02:31 PM
Daughter said Ryan Seacrest is hosting it now.
Posted by: Lizzy at January 01, 2016 02:31 PM
Daughter said Ryan Seacrest is hosting it now.
Posted by: olddog in mo at January 01, 2016 02:58 PM (c/3OG)
191
There's a hobo-jungle right next to the main cash-cow of the boss' network of enterprises
Camps. We refer to them as "camps."
Camps. We refer to them as "camps."
Posted by: A Hobo at January 01, 2016 02:59 PM (8ZskC)
192
Agree with insomniac and others Zombie.
If you can go in your own pocket to help sibling then go for it.
If not, sibling needs to somehow hold own till parent is gone then they get their share of inheritance.
Would you consider doing this if there was no money from parent you were controlling. If you would then go in your pocket if not then no.
If you can go in your own pocket to help sibling then go for it.
If not, sibling needs to somehow hold own till parent is gone then they get their share of inheritance.
Would you consider doing this if there was no money from parent you were controlling. If you would then go in your pocket if not then no.
Posted by: weirdflunkyonatablet at January 01, 2016 02:59 PM (0bmh+)
193
Geez, zombie, that is not an easy situation!
I'm with others who advise that accepting the guardianship means representing your parent. I can report from the other side, having someone near and dear betrayed by two siblings who cared for his remaining, sickly parent. They split his wealth and family business and alienated the other siblings - permanently destroyed relationships. It all came out years later when he passed. I would hope you have some idea of what happens to your parent's unspent finances when he/she passes, as that seems to be a better time to spend it on what you think is best for your sibling and any other relatives whom you would potentially betray/alienate should you, as guardian, spent it in ways that the parent would not approve (while he/she is still alive).
I'm with others who advise that accepting the guardianship means representing your parent. I can report from the other side, having someone near and dear betrayed by two siblings who cared for his remaining, sickly parent. They split his wealth and family business and alienated the other siblings - permanently destroyed relationships. It all came out years later when he passed. I would hope you have some idea of what happens to your parent's unspent finances when he/she passes, as that seems to be a better time to spend it on what you think is best for your sibling and any other relatives whom you would potentially betray/alienate should you, as guardian, spent it in ways that the parent would not approve (while he/she is still alive).
Posted by: Lizzy at January 01, 2016 02:59 PM (NOIQH)
194
She said I was harsh and vicious and cruel
It's nice when people recognize one's good qualities.
It's nice when people recognize one's good qualities.
Posted by: Grump928(C) says Free Soothie!*, with purchase of commenter of equal or greater value *some restr at January 01, 2016 02:59 PM (rwI+c)
195
Posted by: zombie at January 01, 2016 02:10 PM (jBuUi)
Having been in a similar situation, I'd say no.
I would not give the sibling anything until two things happen: 1) the addict sibling cleans up their act and 2) the parent in question has passed on. At that point you can disburse inherited funds (which are not yours at present, regardless of legalities) as you see fit as well as know that you are not enabling more addictive behavior.
Having been in a similar situation, I'd say no.
I would not give the sibling anything until two things happen: 1) the addict sibling cleans up their act and 2) the parent in question has passed on. At that point you can disburse inherited funds (which are not yours at present, regardless of legalities) as you see fit as well as know that you are not enabling more addictive behavior.
Posted by: Country Singer at January 01, 2016 03:00 PM (GUBah)
196
175 Nobody? Nobody remember's wrg?
Posted by: Ricardo Kill at January 01, 2016 02:55 PM (9u6SJ)
I do.
Posted by: Ricardo Kill at January 01, 2016 02:55 PM (9u6SJ)
I do.
Posted by: rickl at January 01, 2016 03:00 PM (sdi6R)
197
Sure, I do.
Just had nothing to contribute, answer-wise.
------------------
^ what he said.
(But it was really nice to see aussie earlier - hadn't seen that name in forever)
Just had nothing to contribute, answer-wise.
------------------
^ what he said.
(But it was really nice to see aussie earlier - hadn't seen that name in forever)
Posted by: Chi at January 01, 2016 03:00 PM (UICf+)
198
g'afternoon, 'rons
Posted by: AltonJackson at January 01, 2016 03:00 PM (KCxzN)
199
A couple of years ago I patched things up with a sibling after being estranged for many years. Primarily did it for my Dad, whose health was starting to decline. Although my sibling and I have never really discussed the reasons for our falling out, it doesn't matter. My goal is to keep that relationship together for as long as my Dad is alive. After that, we can revisit.
As it turns out, we patched things up in the nick of time. There are a couple of bad actors in the mix who have been exploiting my Dad. Us being on the same page is helping thwart their efforts.
I guess my point is that if you think your parent deep down wants to make amends and your sibling really is turning his/her life around, appeal to each of them to patch up their relationship. That's really the first and most important step. Throwing money at it solves nothing.
Plus, I really do think you're under a legal and moral obligation to use the money for your parent's care and nothing else.
As it turns out, we patched things up in the nick of time. There are a couple of bad actors in the mix who have been exploiting my Dad. Us being on the same page is helping thwart their efforts.
I guess my point is that if you think your parent deep down wants to make amends and your sibling really is turning his/her life around, appeal to each of them to patch up their relationship. That's really the first and most important step. Throwing money at it solves nothing.
Plus, I really do think you're under a legal and moral obligation to use the money for your parent's care and nothing else.
Posted by: Y-not (@moxiemom) at January 01, 2016 03:00 PM (t5zYU)
200
Nobody? Nobody remember's wrg?
Has he been absent?
Mostly I think of him as 50/50 on the maddogg scale of "don't ever follow that link".
Has he been absent?
Mostly I think of him as 50/50 on the maddogg scale of "don't ever follow that link".
Posted by: Bandersnatch at January 01, 2016 03:00 PM (1xUj/)
201
Since my hash can be unscrambled to read Work, best get back to writing and the job quest.
So far the quake struck where The Birds happened. Destroyed the Golden Gate Bridge. Bay Bridge looks toast. And Alcatraz is being used as a 'temporary confinement center.'
Good luck zombie, that is hard. May the New Year get better.
NDH, perhaps we could be co-greeters at Wal-Mart.
So far the quake struck where The Birds happened. Destroyed the Golden Gate Bridge. Bay Bridge looks toast. And Alcatraz is being used as a 'temporary confinement center.'
Good luck zombie, that is hard. May the New Year get better.
NDH, perhaps we could be co-greeters at Wal-Mart.
Posted by: Anna Puma at January 01, 2016 03:00 PM (OEWRk)
Posted by: Jay Guevara at January 01, 2016 03:01 PM (oKE6c)
Posted by: Lizzy at January 01, 2016 03:01 PM (NOIQH)
204
Also, while I'm not familiar with Cali law on the subject, there is the
possibility that diverting the money from the principal to the sibling
could be considered exploitation of a vulnerable adult, which in turn
may be a criminal offense.
Have some relatives who are about to learn this the hard way.
Different state, so different law, but daughter exploited her mom to the tune of (known so far) $130,000.00. Her mom passed last week and now a different kid has been named executor of the estate.
For the new year I am going to predict the weather. A shitstorm is coming for one odious fat bitch.
possibility that diverting the money from the principal to the sibling
could be considered exploitation of a vulnerable adult, which in turn
may be a criminal offense.
Have some relatives who are about to learn this the hard way.
Different state, so different law, but daughter exploited her mom to the tune of (known so far) $130,000.00. Her mom passed last week and now a different kid has been named executor of the estate.
For the new year I am going to predict the weather. A shitstorm is coming for one odious fat bitch.
Posted by: Blanco Basura at January 01, 2016 03:02 PM (YJmuy)
205
I hope it works out that way for you. The pressure to have more and more and bigger and bigger is killing us all.
I stumbled upon a tiny little farmhouse with a bank notice on the
door. I'm going to contact the owner and see if they want to sell before
foreclosure takes hold.
Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 01, 2016 02:58 PM (8PbKi)
Good luck. I bought the house in 07 when I was stationed there, and it's served well as a rental and such, but it's time to move on. I can use the money to pay off my credit card and my truck and have a bit left to live on for about three months, if work goes south.
I stumbled upon a tiny little farmhouse with a bank notice on the
door. I'm going to contact the owner and see if they want to sell before
foreclosure takes hold.
Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 01, 2016 02:58 PM (8PbKi)
Good luck. I bought the house in 07 when I was stationed there, and it's served well as a rental and such, but it's time to move on. I can use the money to pay off my credit card and my truck and have a bit left to live on for about three months, if work goes south.
Posted by: Colorado Alex at January 01, 2016 03:02 PM (fC9RO)
206
Mostly I think of him as 50/50 on the maddogg scale of "don't ever follow that link".
Arachnophilia falls under Rule 34.
Arachnophilia falls under Rule 34.
Posted by: Grump928(C) says Free Soothie!*, with purchase of commenter of equal or greater value *some restr at January 01, 2016 03:02 PM (rwI+c)
Posted by: irongraampa at January 01, 2016 03:02 PM (jeCnD)
208
"For me, wrg500. He was a good sumbitch. He bought a spot up in Alaska and was planning to move there next summer. Then, nothing."
He wasn't coming here just for the hunting.
He wasn't coming here just for the hunting.
Posted by: The Bear at January 01, 2016 03:02 PM (noWW6)
209
Different state, so different law, but daughter exploited her mom to the tune of (known so far) $130,000.00. Her mom passed last week and now a different kid has been named executor of the estate.
For the new year I am going to predict the weather. A shitstorm is coming for one odious fat bitch.
Posted by: Blanco Basura at January 01, 2016 03:02 PM (YJmuy)
Holy shit. Once the executor starts examining the books, so to speak, there will be some hell to pay.
For the new year I am going to predict the weather. A shitstorm is coming for one odious fat bitch.
Posted by: Blanco Basura at January 01, 2016 03:02 PM (YJmuy)
Holy shit. Once the executor starts examining the books, so to speak, there will be some hell to pay.
Posted by: Insomniac - Pale Horse/Death 2016 at January 01, 2016 03:03 PM (kpqmD)
210
No, Nip Sip's aunt called his mother (her sis-in-law) and asked them to sell the family farm to pay for her nursing home.
Posted by: Colorado Alex at January 01, 2016 02:52 PM (fC9RO)
Ahhhh.... gotcha. Grandmother on Mom's side got absolutely hosed by sibling (Aunt) when Grandfather (never met) died rather young. In bereavement, she was conned, by the Aunt, into signing away Grandfather's construction business (1930's era) leaving them fairly destitute.
It's talked about, in very roundabout terms with no specifics. The went from a very well-to-do Winnetka existence and a solid business, to downtown brownstone subsistence level in a matter of a month.
Almost 80 years later, still a very deep cut.
Posted by: Colorado Alex at January 01, 2016 02:52 PM (fC9RO)
Ahhhh.... gotcha. Grandmother on Mom's side got absolutely hosed by sibling (Aunt) when Grandfather (never met) died rather young. In bereavement, she was conned, by the Aunt, into signing away Grandfather's construction business (1930's era) leaving them fairly destitute.
It's talked about, in very roundabout terms with no specifics. The went from a very well-to-do Winnetka existence and a solid business, to downtown brownstone subsistence level in a matter of a month.
Almost 80 years later, still a very deep cut.
Posted by: 98ZJUSMC Staring at the Lake in the rain at January 01, 2016 03:03 PM (WWdgA)
211
Greed makes people do really greedy things. I have a friend who's dad just died. The dad had left his mother 20 years ago and married a bimbo who turned into a drunk and had a kid from another marriage.
So the dad dies and leaves her about $20 mill. She is suing the estate cause the trailer trash thinks she got cheated.
$20 fvcking mill.
So the dad dies and leaves her about $20 mill. She is suing the estate cause the trailer trash thinks she got cheated.
$20 fvcking mill.
Posted by: Nip Sip at January 01, 2016 03:03 PM (jJRIy)
212
ND remains down 2 TDs to State.
Posted by: Grump928(C) says Free Soothie!*, with purchase of commenter of equal or greater value *some restr at January 01, 2016 03:04 PM (rwI+c)
213
Same resolution I've made for donkey's years--to live another year.
Kept it thus far.
I'll be watching.
Kept it thus far.
I'll be watching.
Posted by: Abe Vigoda at January 01, 2016 03:04 PM (8ZskC)
214
C'mon, zombie, the "moral benefit" argument is a rationalization. You're being trusted to do what your parent wants. You know what your parent wants, and that is not it. It's that simple.
Posted by: Jay Guevara
The affairs of the human heart and mind are not so straightforward.
There's an aspect to this I have not explained fully, that impacts your comment directly:
The parent is non compos mentis. Severely mentally ill. And has been since the beginning.
So it's not so easy to pinpoint "what the parent wants," and even if one did so, what they claim to "want" is often not what they really want, nor what is in their best interest.
When the madness is raging, the parent insists on giving no help to the child.
But in the few quiet moments of clarity, when a sliver of sanity shines through, the parent expresses deep regret for past wrongs and expresses a desire to help the child.
Yes, the parent has been legally diagnosed, in the past, as insane -- but then "recovered." More than once. But the recoveries were all just an illusion, really.
So it's not so clear what the parent actually wants, or if parent even has the legal standing to express a preference.
Posted by: Jay Guevara
The affairs of the human heart and mind are not so straightforward.
There's an aspect to this I have not explained fully, that impacts your comment directly:
The parent is non compos mentis. Severely mentally ill. And has been since the beginning.
So it's not so easy to pinpoint "what the parent wants," and even if one did so, what they claim to "want" is often not what they really want, nor what is in their best interest.
When the madness is raging, the parent insists on giving no help to the child.
But in the few quiet moments of clarity, when a sliver of sanity shines through, the parent expresses deep regret for past wrongs and expresses a desire to help the child.
Yes, the parent has been legally diagnosed, in the past, as insane -- but then "recovered." More than once. But the recoveries were all just an illusion, really.
So it's not so clear what the parent actually wants, or if parent even has the legal standing to express a preference.
Posted by: zombie at January 01, 2016 03:04 PM (jBuUi)
215
Blanco,
My grandmother had that happen with her mother and her siblings. Great aunt was great-grandma's caretaker and basically wiped out her sibling's inheritances.
My grandmother had that happen with her mother and her siblings. Great aunt was great-grandma's caretaker and basically wiped out her sibling's inheritances.
Posted by: Colorado Alex at January 01, 2016 03:04 PM (fC9RO)
Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 01, 2016 03:05 PM (8PbKi)
217
215 Blanco,
My grandmother had that happen with her mother and her siblings. Great aunt was great-grandma's caretaker and basically wiped out her sibling's inheritances.
Posted by: Colorado Alex at January 01, 2016 03:04 PM (fC9RO)
I hate people like that. They should be flogged in the public square.
My grandmother had that happen with her mother and her siblings. Great aunt was great-grandma's caretaker and basically wiped out her sibling's inheritances.
Posted by: Colorado Alex at January 01, 2016 03:04 PM (fC9RO)
I hate people like that. They should be flogged in the public square.
Posted by: Insomniac - Pale Horse/Death 2016 at January 01, 2016 03:06 PM (kpqmD)
218
It's tragic how many family situations get torn apart during the parents' decline. Seems to be the rule, rather than the exception. Families need to talk openly about these things well in advance, but it appears few do.
Posted by: Y-not (@moxiemom) at January 01, 2016 03:06 PM (t5zYU)
219
Holy shit what a glove save by the Canadian's goalie.
Posted by: JackStraw at January 01, 2016 03:07 PM (/tuJf)
Posted by: Ricardo Kill at January 01, 2016 03:07 PM (UtE64)
221
25 Mine are simple:
1) Try not to drink too much more than I did the previous year;
2) Try not to smoke quite as much as I did the previous year; and
3) Try to have more sex than I did the previous year.
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Still Accepting Harem Applicants at January 01, 2016 01:52 PM (lutOX)
This is a good list for me as well, and I still think you may be T9.
1) Try not to drink too much more than I did the previous year;
2) Try not to smoke quite as much as I did the previous year; and
3) Try to have more sex than I did the previous year.
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Still Accepting Harem Applicants at January 01, 2016 01:52 PM (lutOX)
This is a good list for me as well, and I still think you may be T9.
Posted by: BunkerinTheBurbs at January 01, 2016 03:07 PM (bA+CL)
222
So it's not so clear what the parent actually wants, or if parent even has the legal standing to express a preference.
Posted by: zombie at January 01, 2016 03:04 PM (jBuUi)
Shit. My advice to you..... http://tinyurl.com/bk4zlap
Posted by: zombie at January 01, 2016 03:04 PM (jBuUi)
Shit. My advice to you..... http://tinyurl.com/bk4zlap
Posted by: Nip Sip at January 01, 2016 03:07 PM (jJRIy)
223
Pic of the fixer-upper farm house I have my eye on.
The neighbor being so close will interfere with your clear firelanes, unless they are a reliable ally.
The neighbor being so close will interfere with your clear firelanes, unless they are a reliable ally.
Posted by: Grump928(C) says Free Soothie!*, with purchase of commenter of equal or greater value *some restr at January 01, 2016 03:08 PM (rwI+c)
224
218 It's tragic how many family situations get torn apart during the parents' decline. Seems to be the rule, rather than the exception. Families need to talk openly about these things well in advance, but it appears few do.
Posted by: Y-not (@moxiemom) at January 01, 2016 03:06 PM (t5zYU)
You also tend to find out what complete fucksticks your relatives are. Sometimes it just confirms what you knew all along, but it can also come way out of left field sometimes.
Posted by: Y-not (@moxiemom) at January 01, 2016 03:06 PM (t5zYU)
You also tend to find out what complete fucksticks your relatives are. Sometimes it just confirms what you knew all along, but it can also come way out of left field sometimes.
Posted by: Insomniac - Pale Horse/Death 2016 at January 01, 2016 03:08 PM (kpqmD)
225
Holy shit. Once the executor starts examining the books, so to speak, there will be some hell to pay.
Oh, yeah. Identity fraud, bank fraud, breach of fiduciary duty, not sure if wire fraud applies when accessing an ATM out of state, but might as well throw that in.
Hell to pay is indeed correct. As for me, I'm buying popcorn.
Oh, yeah. Identity fraud, bank fraud, breach of fiduciary duty, not sure if wire fraud applies when accessing an ATM out of state, but might as well throw that in.
Hell to pay is indeed correct. As for me, I'm buying popcorn.
Posted by: Blanco Basura at January 01, 2016 03:08 PM (YJmuy)
226
So it's not so clear what the parent actually wants, or if parent even has the legal standing to express a preference.
Posted by: zombie at January 01, 2016 03:04 PM (jBuUi)
Thanks for the clarification. But I stand by my perspective; absent a clearcut affirmative indication that the parent wants you to do something for the sibling, I don't think you have an option to do that.
Imagine being cross-examined in a legal proceeding on exactly how you discharged your duties as a fiduciary, and giving a line by line accounting. Now there's a real sphincter puckerer, yes?
Posted by: zombie at January 01, 2016 03:04 PM (jBuUi)
Thanks for the clarification. But I stand by my perspective; absent a clearcut affirmative indication that the parent wants you to do something for the sibling, I don't think you have an option to do that.
Imagine being cross-examined in a legal proceeding on exactly how you discharged your duties as a fiduciary, and giving a line by line accounting. Now there's a real sphincter puckerer, yes?
Posted by: Jay Guevara at January 01, 2016 03:08 PM (oKE6c)
227
>>216 Pic of the fixer-upper farm house I have my eye on.
Looks like half the houses in Kentucky! :-)
Have you considered leaving Florida for a cheaper state?
Looks like half the houses in Kentucky! :-)
Have you considered leaving Florida for a cheaper state?
Posted by: Y-not (@moxiemom) at January 01, 2016 03:08 PM (t5zYU)
Posted by: Nip Sip at January 01, 2016 03:09 PM (jJRIy)
229
Different state, so different law, but daughter exploited her mom to the tune of (known so far) $130,000.00. Her mom passed last week and now a different kid has been named executor of the estate.
----------------
The widow across the street realized that her daughter had found her deceased husband's credit cards, and charged up $25,000 worth of debt on them.
Criminal, it is, but the poor lady will not sic the cops on her daughter. Sweet, sweet lady too.
----------------
The widow across the street realized that her daughter had found her deceased husband's credit cards, and charged up $25,000 worth of debt on them.
Criminal, it is, but the poor lady will not sic the cops on her daughter. Sweet, sweet lady too.
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at January 01, 2016 03:09 PM (oFSUK)
230
I grew up in a crazy house. Both parents working drunks. Hiding cars that were in mysterious hit and runs, other accidents, lost jobs, lost businesses, bankruptcy. Not great.
The money will not fix an adult child who will not come to grips with their own issues. Pay the debt, they will make more. It will not help.
The money will not fix an adult child who will not come to grips with their own issues. Pay the debt, they will make more. It will not help.
Posted by: ThunderB at January 01, 2016 03:09 PM (zOTsN)
231
I heard so much about grandparents inequitable distribution of land between his children, and another family member (ish) who basically took everything that was supposed to go their sibling that I have a reflexive dislike of any discussion of inheritance. Split it equally between children and let it go.
Posted by: Lea at January 01, 2016 03:09 PM (vmMMi)
232
About 15 years ago my sister and mother had a falling out. Sis moved in with Dad and she and mom didn't speak for several years. They later reconnected, but it was always tenuous. Mom would visit on occasion, and any time sis needed money mom was willing to help out. Hell, while I was deployed sis hit mom up for cash, and since mom didn't have the money at the time, I told her to write a check from my account for $1000 (her name is on my account for reasons going back to college). Over the years, sis has probably gotten at least $10,000 from mom, not to mention being put on stepdad's health insurance when she didn't have any.
This last year sis announced that she was getting married. She didn't tell mom, because she isn't inviting mom to the wedding.
This last year sis announced that she was getting married. She didn't tell mom, because she isn't inviting mom to the wedding.
Posted by: Colorado Alex at January 01, 2016 03:09 PM (fC9RO)
233
216 Niedermeyer's Dead Horse
That maintenance nightmare will suck you dry trying to fix it.
Buy the property, raze the house and get an energy-saving, earth-bermed, insulated concrete tiny house as a replacement
That maintenance nightmare will suck you dry trying to fix it.
Buy the property, raze the house and get an energy-saving, earth-bermed, insulated concrete tiny house as a replacement
Posted by: NaCly Dog at January 01, 2016 03:09 PM (u82oZ)
234
ND converts the turnover into a TD.
Posted by: Grump928(C) says Free Soothie!, with purchase of commenter of equal or greater value at January 01, 2016 03:10 PM (rwI+c)
235
This is getting a little depressing (a little too close to home), so I think I'll take the dog for a walk, then come back & light the grill for dinner.
God bless, zombie. Good luck.
Y'all take care.
God bless, zombie. Good luck.
Y'all take care.
Posted by: Chi at January 01, 2016 03:10 PM (UICf+)
236
You also tend to find out what complete fucksticks your relatives are. Sometimes it just confirms what you knew all along, but it can also come way out of left field sometimes.
---
Yep.
But what amazes me is how many normal families that seem to be happy have some sort of turmoil when the parents become infirm. Any of you morons and 'ettes with kids... do them a favor and talk about all of this stuff well in advance of The Time.
---
Yep.
But what amazes me is how many normal families that seem to be happy have some sort of turmoil when the parents become infirm. Any of you morons and 'ettes with kids... do them a favor and talk about all of this stuff well in advance of The Time.
Posted by: Y-not (@moxiemom) at January 01, 2016 03:10 PM (t5zYU)
237
It's tragic how many family situations get torn apart during the parents' decline. Seems to be the rule, rather than the exception. Families need to talk openly about these things well in advance, but it appears few do.
Posted by: Y-not
---------------
Innumerable families have been torn apart over estate settlements. People will fight harder over things that they haven't actually earned, than things that they *have* actually earned.
Posted by: Y-not
---------------
Innumerable families have been torn apart over estate settlements. People will fight harder over things that they haven't actually earned, than things that they *have* actually earned.
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at January 01, 2016 03:11 PM (oFSUK)
Posted by: Guy Mohawk at January 01, 2016 03:11 PM (ODxAs)
239
Zombie:
You could help the sibling but try to do it with minimal cash. Food and clothing, for example. Ideally, you could use your help to coerce your sibling to try rehab.
Does your sibling recognize the sad state s/he is in? Would s/he like to clean up? Could you convince your sibling that trying to beat his/her addiction would be good?
If your sibling refuses to recognize that cleaning up would be in his/her own best interest, money won't help. The most humane thing you could do is try to see that your sibling isn't living in rags on the street without food.
If your sibling realizes her/his life is a mess and wants to turn things around the answer is easy, you should help. Non-monetary help, like hooking her/him up with a church or social services program for addiction would be a start. You could then help financially when and where it would do the best.
The bottom line is whether the help you can offer could really help your sibling.
Zombie:
You could help the sibling but try to do it with minimal cash. Food and clothing, for example. Ideally, you could use your help to coerce your sibling to try rehab.
Does your sibling recognize the sad state s/he is in? Would s/he like to clean up? Could you convince your sibling that trying to beat his/her addiction would be good?
If your sibling refuses to recognize that cleaning up would be in his/her own best interest, money won't help. The most humane thing you could do is try to see that your sibling isn't living in rags on the street without food.
If your sibling realizes her/his life is a mess and wants to turn things around the answer is easy, you should help. Non-monetary help, like hooking her/him up with a church or social services program for addiction would be a start. You could then help financially when and where it would do the best.
The bottom line is whether the help you can offer could really help your sibling.
Posted by: Ed Anger at January 01, 2016 03:11 PM (RcpcZ)
240
If you give this money to the sibling, and parents money runs out and needs Medicare or Medicaid, the government can go after you for repayment of monies you spent on sibling
Posted by: ThunderB at January 01, 2016 03:12 PM (zOTsN)
241
Innumerable families have been torn apart over
estate settlements. People will fight harder over things that they
haven't actually earned, than things that they *have* actually earned.
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at January 01, 2016 03:11 PM (oFSUK)
The more I learn about people, the more I like dogs.
estate settlements. People will fight harder over things that they
haven't actually earned, than things that they *have* actually earned.
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at January 01, 2016 03:11 PM (oFSUK)
The more I learn about people, the more I like dogs.
Posted by: Jay Guevara at January 01, 2016 03:12 PM (oKE6c)
242
NDH, that looks good, if a lot of work. Good luck!
Posted by: Colorado Alex at January 01, 2016 03:12 PM (fC9RO)
243
My grandmother had that happen with her mother and her siblings. Great
aunt was great-grandma's caretaker and basically wiped out her sibling's
inheritances.
Yeah, family sure can suck.
aunt was great-grandma's caretaker and basically wiped out her sibling's
inheritances.
Yeah, family sure can suck.
Posted by: Blanco Basura at January 01, 2016 03:12 PM (YJmuy)
244
Pic of the fixer-upper farm house I have my eye on.
(a) fixer-uppers and simplification are worthy;
(ii) definitely a new roof, and the way the posts out front are a-kilter possibly more structural work will be needed;
(Tres) Why is your horse merely sickly on twitter? Niedermeyer's was healthy until all of a sudden it wasn't.
(a) fixer-uppers and simplification are worthy;
(ii) definitely a new roof, and the way the posts out front are a-kilter possibly more structural work will be needed;
(Tres) Why is your horse merely sickly on twitter? Niedermeyer's was healthy until all of a sudden it wasn't.
Posted by: Bandersnatch at January 01, 2016 03:12 PM (1xUj/)
Posted by: Y-not (@moxiemom) at January 01, 2016 03:12 PM (t5zYU)
246
Is the new Ford GT the return of the Pantera?
Posted by: Grump928(C) says Free Soothie!, with purchase of commenter of equal or greater value at January 01, 2016 03:13 PM (rwI+c)
247
NDH, that looks like a nice little house. And probably better built than the adjoining newer house.
Zombie what you have been served is not a scheiss sammich but scheiss soup. Pass this hot potato to someone who specializes in handling such matters. Because in the end it sounds like everyone else in your family will hate you for not doing what they themselves think is the 'right thing'
My $0.02 worth of advice.
And yes back to writing. Plus dreaming of winning the lottery tonight.
Zombie what you have been served is not a scheiss sammich but scheiss soup. Pass this hot potato to someone who specializes in handling such matters. Because in the end it sounds like everyone else in your family will hate you for not doing what they themselves think is the 'right thing'
My $0.02 worth of advice.
And yes back to writing. Plus dreaming of winning the lottery tonight.
Posted by: Anna Puma at January 01, 2016 03:13 PM (OEWRk)
248
So it's not so clear what the parent actually wants, or if parent even has the legal standing to express a preference.
Posted by: zombie at January 01, 2016 03:04 PM (jBuUi)
Wouldn't the basic premise be:
Unless declared otherwise, ALL persons have the legal standing to express a preference.
Posted by: zombie at January 01, 2016 03:04 PM (jBuUi)
Wouldn't the basic premise be:
Unless declared otherwise, ALL persons have the legal standing to express a preference.
Posted by: dDan at January 01, 2016 03:13 PM (hwYmz)
Posted by: Peznit Halfwit at January 01, 2016 03:14 PM (YJmuy)
250
>>Families need to talk openly about these things well in advance, but it appears few do.
Heh, my parents have a living will that fills a 2" binder; very, very detailed.
Because there are 4 kids, each parent designated two of us (plus the other parent, if still alive) to make the tough decisions. Yeah, there have been numerous swindles in past generations that led to this plan....
Heh, my parents have a living will that fills a 2" binder; very, very detailed.
Because there are 4 kids, each parent designated two of us (plus the other parent, if still alive) to make the tough decisions. Yeah, there have been numerous swindles in past generations that led to this plan....
Posted by: Lizzy at January 01, 2016 03:14 PM (NOIQH)
251
NDH: Foundations and sills. If they aren't good you will need to fix them fast.
Other than that, you can fix-it-up.
Roof, plumbing and bad floors all can be made good, but the foundation you need specialists.
My goal for this year is to get a similar, but worse off building into rentable condition. Built on masonry piles - except some are just rocks
Other than that, you can fix-it-up.
Roof, plumbing and bad floors all can be made good, but the foundation you need specialists.
My goal for this year is to get a similar, but worse off building into rentable condition. Built on masonry piles - except some are just rocks
Posted by: Kindltot at January 01, 2016 03:14 PM (q2o38)
252
>>That maintenance nightmare will suck you dry trying to fix it.
We moved a lot when I was growing up and my folks always tried to look for the next great fixer upper. My father loved to do the work and I have to admit he was pretty damn handy and he had me as an indentured servant. The last place was a roughly 300 year old farmhouse that we basically rebuilt from the ground up including the horse barn.
If your are buying a fixer upper because you enjoy that stuff then go for it. If you are doing it because you think you will save money, you won't. They made that move The Money Pit for a reason.
We moved a lot when I was growing up and my folks always tried to look for the next great fixer upper. My father loved to do the work and I have to admit he was pretty damn handy and he had me as an indentured servant. The last place was a roughly 300 year old farmhouse that we basically rebuilt from the ground up including the horse barn.
If your are buying a fixer upper because you enjoy that stuff then go for it. If you are doing it because you think you will save money, you won't. They made that move The Money Pit for a reason.
Posted by: JackStraw at January 01, 2016 03:14 PM (/tuJf)
253
Man, I'm disapppoitnted
Posted by: Ricardo Kill at January 01, 2016 03:15 PM (ExoFF)
254
Pic of the fixer-upper farm house I have my eye on.
http://bit.ly/1SqJ69B
Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 01, 2016 03:05 PM (8PbKi)
Where is that? I could swear that very same house showed up in my real estate search feed a few days ago.
http://bit.ly/1SqJ69B
Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 01, 2016 03:05 PM (8PbKi)
Where is that? I could swear that very same house showed up in my real estate search feed a few days ago.
Posted by: Country Singer at January 01, 2016 03:16 PM (GUBah)
255
I'd be content in a Unibomber shack as long as it was warm and dry.
Posted by: Grump928(C) says Free Soothie!, with purchase of commenter of equal or greater value at January 01, 2016 03:16 PM (rwI+c)
256
Heh, my parents have a living will that fills a 2" binder; very, very detailed.
----
You are fortunate!
----
You are fortunate!
Posted by: Y-not (@moxiemom) at January 01, 2016 03:16 PM (t5zYU)
Posted by: dDan at January 01, 2016 03:16 PM (hwYmz)
258
That being said, if you have been given power of attorney, then regardless of what jurisdiction you're in you typically have a fiduciary duty to the principal on whose behalf you exercise that power. Secreting the principal's money to the sibling, especially when you know they would NEVER do that on their own, could be viewed as a violation of that duty and expose you to liability to the principal or the principal's estate after death.
Also, while I'm not familiar with Cali law on the subject, there is the possibility that diverting the money from the principal to the sibling could be considered exploitation of a vulnerable adult, which in turn may be a criminal offense.
So, you have some pretty good reasons NOT to give the sibling any of the principal's money.
Posted by: Insomniac - Pale Horse/Death 2016
I know all that.
In truth, no one in the world will ever know or could ever know what I'm doing with the money, outside of us three players (me, parent, sibling). There are no other family member involved who know anything about this, and no third parties either.
So there will never be any king of lawsuit.
It's really just down to my decision.
Currently, I am NOT helping the sibling, with my own $$$, nor with parent's $$$.
But in the future, I reserve the right to perhaps change course a little bit. Maybe.
Also, while I'm not familiar with Cali law on the subject, there is the possibility that diverting the money from the principal to the sibling could be considered exploitation of a vulnerable adult, which in turn may be a criminal offense.
So, you have some pretty good reasons NOT to give the sibling any of the principal's money.
Posted by: Insomniac - Pale Horse/Death 2016
I know all that.
In truth, no one in the world will ever know or could ever know what I'm doing with the money, outside of us three players (me, parent, sibling). There are no other family member involved who know anything about this, and no third parties either.
So there will never be any king of lawsuit.
It's really just down to my decision.
Currently, I am NOT helping the sibling, with my own $$$, nor with parent's $$$.
But in the future, I reserve the right to perhaps change course a little bit. Maybe.
Posted by: zombie at January 01, 2016 03:17 PM (jBuUi)
259
RedState Roundtable: Fearless New Years Predictions 2016: How many states will Donald Trump win in the Republican primaries?
Neil Stevens: 3
Moe Lane: Donald Trump will not win a single state in the Republican primaries.
Caleb Howe: None
Sara Gonzales: I refuse to believe he will win any. His supporters probably cannot comprehend enough to make it to the polling places and cast their votes.
http://tinyurl.com/grypdzy
RedState Roundtable: Fearless New Years Predictions 2016: How many states will Donald Trump win in the Republican primaries?
Neil Stevens: 3
Moe Lane: Donald Trump will not win a single state in the Republican primaries.
Caleb Howe: None
Sara Gonzales: I refuse to believe he will win any. His supporters probably cannot comprehend enough to make it to the polling places and cast their votes.
http://tinyurl.com/grypdzy
Posted by: Laurie David's Cervix at January 01, 2016 03:17 PM (kdS6q)
260
I resolv to proof-read before posting.
Posted by: Socratease at January 01, 2016 03:17 PM (2GbWn)
261
The more I learn about people, the more I like dogs.
Me too, yum!
Posted by: Peznit Halfwit at January 01, 2016 03:14 PM (YJmuy)
In fairness, Barry has eaten his weight in weiners over the years, IYKWIM.
Me too, yum!
Posted by: Peznit Halfwit at January 01, 2016 03:14 PM (YJmuy)
In fairness, Barry has eaten his weight in weiners over the years, IYKWIM.
Posted by: Grump928(C) says Free Soothie!, with purchase of commenter of equal or greater value at January 01, 2016 03:17 PM (rwI+c)
262
Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 01, 2016 03:05 PM (8PbKi)
You might want to re-read what you wrote above that pic.
You might want to re-read what you wrote above that pic.
Posted by: HH at January 01, 2016 03:17 PM (DrCtv)
263
Looks like half the houses in Kentucky! :-)
Have you considered leaving Florida for a cheaper state?
***
If necessary, but I hope it's not.
Have you considered leaving Florida for a cheaper state?
***
If necessary, but I hope it's not.
Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 01, 2016 03:17 PM (8PbKi)
264
State answers quickly to extend the lead back to 2 TDs.
Posted by: Grump928(C) says Free Soothie!, with purchase of commenter of equal or greater value at January 01, 2016 03:18 PM (rwI+c)
265
Ooh, NDH, you have a shed and lots of room for either a garden or an orchard.
Posted by: Kindltot at January 01, 2016 03:19 PM (q2o38)
266
If the sibling's addiction is related to their mistreatment, then the parent has a moral duty to try and provide help, and zombie should bring it up.
Posted by: Colorado Alex
Bingo.
Outside observers all agree that the sibling's addictive lifestyle is ENTIRELY the parent's fault. 100%.
Posted by: Colorado Alex
Bingo.
Outside observers all agree that the sibling's addictive lifestyle is ENTIRELY the parent's fault. 100%.
Posted by: zombie at January 01, 2016 03:19 PM (jBuUi)
267
The tear-out has already been done on the inside. Hardwood and tile floors. No apparent roof leaks but the front and back porches will need to be rebuilt.
My BIL does everything but electrical and we know someone else who can do that.
My BIL does everything but electrical and we know someone else who can do that.
Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 01, 2016 03:19 PM (8PbKi)
268
Ricardo Kill,
I remember wrg and a lot of other regulars we don't see around here any longer.
It can be hard keeping track of everyone. Sometimes people change their nicks or their situation changes and suddenly they're busy during the day or night or whathaveyou. Or they just drift off.
The one I really miss is curious. She was awesome!
;-)
I remember wrg and a lot of other regulars we don't see around here any longer.
It can be hard keeping track of everyone. Sometimes people change their nicks or their situation changes and suddenly they're busy during the day or night or whathaveyou. Or they just drift off.
The one I really miss is curious. She was awesome!
;-)
Posted by: Y-not (@moxiemom) at January 01, 2016 03:19 PM (t5zYU)
269
If the parent ever needs Medicaid or Medicare, it will not be between the three of you. The government will demand repayment for money that should have been spent on the parents care that was spent on the sibling
Posted by: ThunderB at January 01, 2016 03:19 PM (zOTsN)
270
>>You are fortunate!
Yep. Also have a sister who would barge in and make all sorts of decisions that she would think were best for all (but not really) if they hadn't done this. They're protecting all of us from that scenario.
Yep. Also have a sister who would barge in and make all sorts of decisions that she would think were best for all (but not really) if they hadn't done this. They're protecting all of us from that scenario.
Posted by: Lizzy at January 01, 2016 03:19 PM (NOIQH)
Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 01, 2016 03:20 PM (8PbKi)
272
The bottom line is whether the help you can offer could really help your sibling.
Posted by: Ed Anger at January 01, 2016 03:11 PM (RcpcZ)
THIS.
At some point you have to just walk away, it's her life.
A sad story. A friend of mine, VERY prominent lawyer, Dukie etc has a son who he got into Duke, graduated and couldn't find much of a job so started selling real estate, got married, had a kid and got hooked on pills.
Got caught using his RE key to steal pills out of homes. Now? Kid has been in rehab for a year, no job, etc.
Father is going to cut him off soon.
Posted by: Ed Anger at January 01, 2016 03:11 PM (RcpcZ)
THIS.
At some point you have to just walk away, it's her life.
A sad story. A friend of mine, VERY prominent lawyer, Dukie etc has a son who he got into Duke, graduated and couldn't find much of a job so started selling real estate, got married, had a kid and got hooked on pills.
Got caught using his RE key to steal pills out of homes. Now? Kid has been in rehab for a year, no job, etc.
Father is going to cut him off soon.
Posted by: Nip Sip at January 01, 2016 03:20 PM (jJRIy)
Posted by: tu3031 at January 01, 2016 03:21 PM (EDYaR)
274
zombie It kind of sounds like you already made a decision and are just looking for confirmation.
That bama Clemson game isn't till next week? That sucks. Also looks like Florida isn't doing too well. Interesting to see how people are doing.
That bama Clemson game isn't till next week? That sucks. Also looks like Florida isn't doing too well. Interesting to see how people are doing.
Posted by: Lea at January 01, 2016 03:21 PM (vmMMi)
275
Father saw a text on his daughter's cell phone from a boy asking her to send a bra pic.
This is how he handled it.
http://iotwreport.com/send-me-a-bra-pic/
This is how he handled it.
http://iotwreport.com/send-me-a-bra-pic/
Posted by: mindful webworker - good dad at January 01, 2016 03:21 PM (mf0wg)
276
Where is that? I could swear that very same house showed up in my real estate search feed a few days ago.
***
Westside, off of Bulls Bay, but it isn't yet listed. I've looked up the owner on the property appraiser's site and I'm going to write to him.
***
Westside, off of Bulls Bay, but it isn't yet listed. I've looked up the owner on the property appraiser's site and I'm going to write to him.
Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 01, 2016 03:21 PM (8PbKi)
277
This is a good list for me as well, and I still think you may be T9.
Posted by: BunkerinTheBurbs at January 01, 2016 03:07 PM (bA+CL)
***
It might be. I've been known to have episodes of fugue.
At least, that's what my attorney has told me to call them.....
Posted by: BunkerinTheBurbs at January 01, 2016 03:07 PM (bA+CL)
***
It might be. I've been known to have episodes of fugue.
At least, that's what my attorney has told me to call them.....
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Still Accepting Harem Applicants at January 01, 2016 03:21 PM (/33sy)
278
Once you are an adult, you own your addictions, no matter how you were raised
Posted by: ThunderB at January 01, 2016 03:21 PM (zOTsN)
279
Zombie, I vote no help for the sibling, only because it wouldn't actually help the sibling. The sibling will only get better when the sibling has to suffer the consequences of his/her decisions. If the sibling gets to live in his/her house rent-free, because you pay the rent - whether with your own money or your parent's money, it doesn't matter - you are freeing up your sibling's money to be spent on drugs. The addict has to know that spending money on drugs means the threat of homelessness and that is the only way the addict will start to get better.
Posted by: chemjeff at January 01, 2016 03:22 PM (uZNvH)
280
Father saw a text on his daughter's cell phone from a boy asking her to send a bra pic.
This is how he handled it.
***
Good daddy
This is how he handled it.
***
Good daddy
Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 01, 2016 03:22 PM (8PbKi)
281
Yep. Also have a sister who would barge in and make
all sorts of decisions that she would think were best for all (but not
really) if they hadn't done this. They're protecting all of us from that
scenario.
Posted by: Lizzy at January 01, 2016 03:19 PM (NOIQH)
I need to talk to my Dad about his stuff. I'm the one he named executor after Mom died and my sister lost her shit about it. I'm definitely worried she'll try a lot of funny business when he dies. I'm thinking something that says if either one of us contests the estate, that person forfeits their share.
all sorts of decisions that she would think were best for all (but not
really) if they hadn't done this. They're protecting all of us from that
scenario.
Posted by: Lizzy at January 01, 2016 03:19 PM (NOIQH)
I need to talk to my Dad about his stuff. I'm the one he named executor after Mom died and my sister lost her shit about it. I'm definitely worried she'll try a lot of funny business when he dies. I'm thinking something that says if either one of us contests the estate, that person forfeits their share.
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at January 01, 2016 03:22 PM (4ErVI)
282
Oh, I know that. Trust me, I will never tell the sibling that I have full access to the parent's money.
If I do help the sibling, it will be done in ways that the sibling will not really know where it's coming from.
Also, many here have noted how unwise it is to give addicts cash. I know that. I was thinking more along the lines of helping to pay rent, giving the money directly to the landlord. Otherwise, sibling will likely be living in the gutter.
Posted by: zombie at January 01, 2016 02:40 PM (jBuUi)
The only way to do that is to bring the issue up to the Parent and get specific permission to do it, as hard as it will be. The sooner the better, it sounds like. Otherwise you are in moral and legal jeopardy. The third-party thought experiment makes this clear. If these were strangers, you wouldn't be compelled to do it without specific direction.
Somewhere in that black heart, however, is a longing wish to right past wrongs. Parent has said so.
Posted by: zombie at January 01, 2016 02:45 PM (jBuUi)
That might just be the opening you need.
Godspeed.
If I do help the sibling, it will be done in ways that the sibling will not really know where it's coming from.
Also, many here have noted how unwise it is to give addicts cash. I know that. I was thinking more along the lines of helping to pay rent, giving the money directly to the landlord. Otherwise, sibling will likely be living in the gutter.
Posted by: zombie at January 01, 2016 02:40 PM (jBuUi)
The only way to do that is to bring the issue up to the Parent and get specific permission to do it, as hard as it will be. The sooner the better, it sounds like. Otherwise you are in moral and legal jeopardy. The third-party thought experiment makes this clear. If these were strangers, you wouldn't be compelled to do it without specific direction.
Somewhere in that black heart, however, is a longing wish to right past wrongs. Parent has said so.
Posted by: zombie at January 01, 2016 02:45 PM (jBuUi)
That might just be the opening you need.
Godspeed.
Posted by: Jeff Weimer at January 01, 2016 03:22 PM (E1IKf)
283
Zombie, I know I am late, but I would tread softly. How many other siblings do you have?
Posted by: CaliGirl at January 01, 2016 03:24 PM (egOGm)
284
"I remember wrg and a lot of other regulars we don't see around here any longer.
It can be hard keeping track of everyone. Sometimes people change their nicks or their situation changes and suddenly they're busy during the day or night or whathaveyou. Or they just drift off.
The one I really miss is curious. She was awesome! "
Looks at Y.
It can be hard keeping track of everyone. Sometimes people change their nicks or their situation changes and suddenly they're busy during the day or night or whathaveyou. Or they just drift off.
The one I really miss is curious. She was awesome! "
Looks at Y.
Posted by: Ricardo Kill at January 01, 2016 03:24 PM (3Hzml)
285
Bama Clemson is on the 11th.
Posted by: Nip Sip at January 01, 2016 03:24 PM (jJRIy)
286
curious was certainly a, umm, curious character.
Posted by: chemjeff at January 01, 2016 03:25 PM (uZNvH)
287
Dack Thrombosis at January 01, 2016 03:22 PM (4ErVI)
I think that is standard in wills. It's in mine.
I think that is standard in wills. It's in mine.
Posted by: CaliGirl at January 01, 2016 03:25 PM (egOGm)
288
Al anon might be a good idea. Codependency is a real thing
Posted by: ThunderB at January 01, 2016 03:25 PM (zOTsN)
289
zombie, I think you really need to square this circle.
Somewhere in that black heart, however, is a longing wish to right past wrongs. Parent has said so.
Posted by: zombie at January 01, 2016 02:45 PM (jBuUi)
So it's not so clear what the parent actually wants, or if parent even has the legal standing to express a preference.
Posted by: zombie at January 01, 2016 03:04 PM (jBuUi)
Somewhere in that black heart, however, is a longing wish to right past wrongs. Parent has said so.
Posted by: zombie at January 01, 2016 02:45 PM (jBuUi)
So it's not so clear what the parent actually wants, or if parent even has the legal standing to express a preference.
Posted by: zombie at January 01, 2016 03:04 PM (jBuUi)
Posted by: dDan at January 01, 2016 03:26 PM (hwYmz)
290
With about one year to go until retirement, I resolve to start writing my book that is going to put me on easy street. First step is deciding what to write about. Any ideas appreciated except. "Write what you love." because that is too short a list.
Posted by: Ray Van Dune at January 01, 2016 03:26 PM (LeUrG)
291
Also have a sister who would barge in and make all sorts of decisions that she would think were best for all (but not really) if they hadn't done this. They're protecting all of us from that scenario.
Good for you because that's what happened to me and it sucks.
Also have a sister who would barge in and make all sorts of decisions that she would think were best for all (but not really) if they hadn't done this. They're protecting all of us from that scenario.
Good for you because that's what happened to me and it sucks.
Posted by: Ed Anger at January 01, 2016 03:26 PM (RcpcZ)
292
(Tres) Why is your horse merely sickly on twitter? Niedermeyer's was healthy until all of a sudden it wasn't.
***
Fighting bronchitis. Thanks for asking.
***
Fighting bronchitis. Thanks for asking.
Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at January 01, 2016 03:27 PM (8PbKi)
293
Stiffens up. Learns the way of the ass-hole.
Posted by: Ricardo Kill at January 01, 2016 03:28 PM (lJT0R)
294
zombie, yeah, I am with ThunderB, you should get some help yourself on how to deal with these issues
Posted by: chemjeff at January 01, 2016 03:28 PM (uZNvH)
295
287
Dack Thrombosis at January 01, 2016 03:22 PM (4ErVI)
I think that is standard in wills. It's in mine.
Posted by: CaliGirl at January 01, 2016 03:25 PM (egOGm)
I'm not sure it's standard or if it's in his. I'd have to check or ask, but I think we all know how delicate a matter like this is. It's not easy to bring it up.My black heart whispers to try to do it in such a way that she knows nothing about it so that when she immediately tries to take the whole thing with a lawsuit she gets nothing.Yeah her and I have issues.
Dack Thrombosis at January 01, 2016 03:22 PM (4ErVI)
I think that is standard in wills. It's in mine.
Posted by: CaliGirl at January 01, 2016 03:25 PM (egOGm)
I'm not sure it's standard or if it's in his. I'd have to check or ask, but I think we all know how delicate a matter like this is. It's not easy to bring it up.My black heart whispers to try to do it in such a way that she knows nothing about it so that when she immediately tries to take the whole thing with a lawsuit she gets nothing.Yeah her and I have issues.
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at January 01, 2016 03:29 PM (4ErVI)
296
@ 68, Zombie.
We have identical family circumstances, there.
But I'll identify the miscreant as my only and older brother. Who was so fixated on his next high, that he was over 40 minutes late to our Mom's funeral back in '78.
He's lived half of his 60 years behind bars, from local jails to Club Fed, multiple times.
I have, like you, full and complete Power(s) of Attorney.... financial, medical, legal.
He won't see a dime. His destructive lifestyle greatly shortened my Mom's life, and seriously deteriorated the quality of life for my Dad and Step Mom.
My Dad passed in 2010, and my Step Mom is still rallying at age 87. When she's gone, I'll ship some heirlooms and stuff to my brother who lives in the frozen north. But nothing capitial, and funds.
It's all already sewn up in trusts and other documents, technically, I already own everything now. And, the brother is very specifically written out of the will, there is no ambiguity whatsoever.
So ..... don't support the addictive lifestyle would be my suggestion. But, I'm the asshole who disarmed his brother (he had taken one of my guns w/o authorization), at gunpoint in 1986, had him pack up his crap and dumped him along I-10 to hitchhike to wherever.
Turned out the gun I took off my brother....he used in a bank robbery about 80 miles from where I lived in San Antonio at the time.
Haven't seen him since, and don't miss him very much. Except for a very few good childhood memories, the rest is just him being an ass, and living as an ass to the max.
His loss, not mine.
Hang in there, Zombie. You're loved, admired, respected and needed 'round these here parts of the 'net. In a big way, too.
Prayers for me, too...... Step Mom is beginning major mental slippage, and on an accelerating curve.
Something we should all do in 2016. Count our blessings.
Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX
We have identical family circumstances, there.
But I'll identify the miscreant as my only and older brother. Who was so fixated on his next high, that he was over 40 minutes late to our Mom's funeral back in '78.
He's lived half of his 60 years behind bars, from local jails to Club Fed, multiple times.
I have, like you, full and complete Power(s) of Attorney.... financial, medical, legal.
He won't see a dime. His destructive lifestyle greatly shortened my Mom's life, and seriously deteriorated the quality of life for my Dad and Step Mom.
My Dad passed in 2010, and my Step Mom is still rallying at age 87. When she's gone, I'll ship some heirlooms and stuff to my brother who lives in the frozen north. But nothing capitial, and funds.
It's all already sewn up in trusts and other documents, technically, I already own everything now. And, the brother is very specifically written out of the will, there is no ambiguity whatsoever.
So ..... don't support the addictive lifestyle would be my suggestion. But, I'm the asshole who disarmed his brother (he had taken one of my guns w/o authorization), at gunpoint in 1986, had him pack up his crap and dumped him along I-10 to hitchhike to wherever.
Turned out the gun I took off my brother....he used in a bank robbery about 80 miles from where I lived in San Antonio at the time.
Haven't seen him since, and don't miss him very much. Except for a very few good childhood memories, the rest is just him being an ass, and living as an ass to the max.
His loss, not mine.
Hang in there, Zombie. You're loved, admired, respected and needed 'round these here parts of the 'net. In a big way, too.
Prayers for me, too...... Step Mom is beginning major mental slippage, and on an accelerating curve.
Something we should all do in 2016. Count our blessings.
Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX
Posted by: Jim at January 01, 2016 03:29 PM (McRlu)
297
curious was certainly a, umm, curious character.
That she was, but she predicted Pope Benedict retiring.
Now, that could be blind squirrel, nut, etc., but nobody believed her and several gave long treatises on why it wouldn't and couldn't happen.
I didn't believe her until it did happen.
That she was, but she predicted Pope Benedict retiring.
Now, that could be blind squirrel, nut, etc., but nobody believed her and several gave long treatises on why it wouldn't and couldn't happen.
I didn't believe her until it did happen.
Posted by: Blanco Basura at January 01, 2016 03:29 PM (YJmuy)
298
Speaking of, gun thread up.
Posted by: mindful webworker - clarion at January 01, 2016 03:30 PM (mf0wg)
299
My parents and two of my three siblings are drunks or recovering drunks. The need to save people in the non addicted family member is huge. It's hard to navigate sometimes
Posted by: ThunderB at January 01, 2016 03:30 PM (zOTsN)
300
>>Good for you because that's what happened to me and it sucks.
Oh, sorry to hear that! I got a dose of it when my grandmother died and sis made decisions on behalf of the grandkids. Awful.
Oh, sorry to hear that! I got a dose of it when my grandmother died and sis made decisions on behalf of the grandkids. Awful.
Posted by: Lizzy at January 01, 2016 03:31 PM (NOIQH)
301
First step is deciding what to write about. Any ideas appreciated...
Posted by: Ray Van Dune at January 01, 2016 03:26 PM (LeUrG)
Write a riveting tale about a young orphan boy who unexpectedly discovers he has a hidden gift and goes on to battle the evil that killed his parent(s). Be sure to include plot twists involving who's actually good and who's actually bad.
This tale can, of course, be set either in outer space or England. Or in English Outer Space.
Posted by: Ray Van Dune at January 01, 2016 03:26 PM (LeUrG)
Write a riveting tale about a young orphan boy who unexpectedly discovers he has a hidden gift and goes on to battle the evil that killed his parent(s). Be sure to include plot twists involving who's actually good and who's actually bad.
This tale can, of course, be set either in outer space or England. Or in English Outer Space.
Posted by: Country Singer at January 01, 2016 03:31 PM (GUBah)
302
That she was, but she predicted Pope Benedict retiring.
Now,
that could be blind squirrel, nut, etc., but nobody believed her and
several gave long treatises on why it wouldn't and couldn't happen.
I didn't believe her until it did happen.
Posted by: Blanco Basura at January 01, 2016 03:29 PM (YJmuy)
Yes it was a complete case of blind squirrel. She predicted all manner of crazy nonsense.
That she was, but she predicted Pope Benedict retiring.
Now,
that could be blind squirrel, nut, etc., but nobody believed her and
several gave long treatises on why it wouldn't and couldn't happen.
I didn't believe her until it did happen.
Posted by: Blanco Basura at January 01, 2016 03:29 PM (YJmuy)
Yes it was a complete case of blind squirrel. She predicted all manner of crazy nonsense.
Posted by: chemjeff at January 01, 2016 03:32 PM (uZNvH)
Posted by: chemjeff at January 01, 2016 03:32 PM (uZNvH)
304
The Neo-Victorian Space Empire with dragon powered starships.
Posted by: Anna Puma at January 01, 2016 03:32 PM (OEWRk)
305
Niedermeyer's Dead Horse, when you said fixer upper, you really meant it. Looks like it needs a new roof, new windows and who knows what else. Does it have a well and septic system that are in good shape. Good luck.
Posted by: Ronster at January 01, 2016 03:33 PM (mUa7N)
306
Michigan is pummeling Florida. Notre Dame needs to get its shit together if they're going to catch up to Ohio State.
Posted by: Y-not (@moxiemom) at January 01, 2016 03:33 PM (t5zYU)
307
Dack Thrombosis at January 01, 2016 03:29 PM (4ErVI)
For your sake I hope it is standard. I would not have thought of including that. We only have one child. The estate attorney included it.
I saw how ugly things can get when my grandmother passed. We made a will and put assets in trusts to avoid probate. The ugliness scared me.
For your sake I hope it is standard. I would not have thought of including that. We only have one child. The estate attorney included it.
I saw how ugly things can get when my grandmother passed. We made a will and put assets in trusts to avoid probate. The ugliness scared me.
Posted by: CaliGirl at January 01, 2016 03:34 PM (egOGm)
308
Outside observers all agree that the sibling's addictive lifestyle is ENTIRELY the parent's fault. 100%.
Posted by: zombie at January 01, 2016 03:19 PM (jBuUi)
[self edit]
In the end you are going to be the person you have to satisfy that you acted correctly. Build your case now and defend it now, while you have the space.
If your heart tells you one thing and your head tells you another, you probably need to figure out why, and how to either accommodate one or the other, and possibly argue them both around.
Posted by: zombie at January 01, 2016 03:19 PM (jBuUi)
[self edit]
In the end you are going to be the person you have to satisfy that you acted correctly. Build your case now and defend it now, while you have the space.
If your heart tells you one thing and your head tells you another, you probably need to figure out why, and how to either accommodate one or the other, and possibly argue them both around.
Posted by: Kindltot at January 01, 2016 03:37 PM (q2o38)
309
Imagine being cross-examined in a legal proceeding on exactly how you discharged your duties as a fiduciary, and giving a line by line accounting. Now there's a real sphincter puckerer, yes?
Posted by: Jay Guevara
Not really.
Every dime of my parent's $$$ which I might give to my sibling, I am stealing it from MYSELF.
Because when parent kicks the bucket, sibling and I will split the remaining assets. There are no other interested parties.
Who is going to sue whom, here? Will my sibling sue me for giving the sibling extra money the sibling did not legally deserve? Doubtful in the extreme.
Posted by: Jay Guevara
Not really.
Every dime of my parent's $$$ which I might give to my sibling, I am stealing it from MYSELF.
Because when parent kicks the bucket, sibling and I will split the remaining assets. There are no other interested parties.
Who is going to sue whom, here? Will my sibling sue me for giving the sibling extra money the sibling did not legally deserve? Doubtful in the extreme.
Posted by: zombie at January 01, 2016 03:38 PM (jBuUi)
310
Oh, and I have informed my father he is supposed to spend ALL his money before he dies, so he better step it up now while he can enjoy it.
Posted by: Kindltot at January 01, 2016 03:38 PM (q2o38)
311
Outside observers all agree that the sibling's addictive lifestyle is ENTIRELY the parent's fault. 100%.
Posted by: zombie at January 01, 2016 03:19 PM (jBuUi)
How your sibling chose to respond to your parent's abuse is your sibling's fault, not your parent's fault.
After all, you also suffered abuse and you didn't wind up a hopeless junkie, because you chose differently how to respond to your parent's abuse.
Posted by: zombie at January 01, 2016 03:19 PM (jBuUi)
How your sibling chose to respond to your parent's abuse is your sibling's fault, not your parent's fault.
After all, you also suffered abuse and you didn't wind up a hopeless junkie, because you chose differently how to respond to your parent's abuse.
Posted by: chemjeff at January 01, 2016 03:40 PM (uZNvH)
312
ND defense is getting schlacht.
Posted by: Buckeye Abroad at January 01, 2016 03:41 PM (z3Leh)
313
Posted by: zombie at January 01, 2016 03:38 PM (jBuUi)
That clears things up quite a bit. There was an assumption of other siblings with interest (not knowing otherwise), as well.
I still think you need to broach it with the parent, if only to give them the opportunity to fulfill the wish to attempt to right those wrongs.
That clears things up quite a bit. There was an assumption of other siblings with interest (not knowing otherwise), as well.
I still think you need to broach it with the parent, if only to give them the opportunity to fulfill the wish to attempt to right those wrongs.
Posted by: Jeff Weimer at January 01, 2016 03:44 PM (E1IKf)
314
With about one year to go until retirement, I
resolve to start writing my book that is going to put me on easy street.
First step is deciding what to write about. Any ideas appreciated
except. "Write what you love." because that is too short a list.
Posted by: Ray Van Dune at January 01, 2016 03:26 PM (LeUrG)
Howabout... Women I Want to Pork? Its a coffee table book, really
resolve to start writing my book that is going to put me on easy street.
First step is deciding what to write about. Any ideas appreciated
except. "Write what you love." because that is too short a list.
Posted by: Ray Van Dune at January 01, 2016 03:26 PM (LeUrG)
Howabout... Women I Want to Pork? Its a coffee table book, really
Posted by: Kindltot at January 01, 2016 03:44 PM (q2o38)
315
240 If you give this money to the sibling, and parents money runs out and needs Medicare or Medicaid, the government can go after you for repayment of monies you spent on sibling
Posted by: ThunderB
Nope. Ain't gonna happen. Too much $$$ to run out.
Let me rephrase the question in more extreme terms, with various details exaggerated for effect:
John D. Rockefeller has $100 billion in liquid cash.
John D. Rockefeller has been an immoral monster his whole life.
John D. Rockefeller has has two biological children, both of whom he locked in a box for 18 years and raised them on dogfood and whippings.
There are no other surviving relatives in the family. None.
Now John D. Rockefeller is very old and one of the siblings has power of attorney to manage the $$$.
The other sibling is starving to death, clutching the gold-plated gates at the front of the Rockefeller estate, crying, "Dad, what did I ever do to you to deserve this? Help me -- I'm literally dying of hunger!"
You are the executor sibling.
Do you let your sibling die on the sidewalk in front of the estate, as you and the bedridden father dine on hummingbird tongues and caviar?
Posted by: ThunderB
Nope. Ain't gonna happen. Too much $$$ to run out.
Let me rephrase the question in more extreme terms, with various details exaggerated for effect:
John D. Rockefeller has $100 billion in liquid cash.
John D. Rockefeller has been an immoral monster his whole life.
John D. Rockefeller has has two biological children, both of whom he locked in a box for 18 years and raised them on dogfood and whippings.
There are no other surviving relatives in the family. None.
Now John D. Rockefeller is very old and one of the siblings has power of attorney to manage the $$$.
The other sibling is starving to death, clutching the gold-plated gates at the front of the Rockefeller estate, crying, "Dad, what did I ever do to you to deserve this? Help me -- I'm literally dying of hunger!"
You are the executor sibling.
Do you let your sibling die on the sidewalk in front of the estate, as you and the bedridden father dine on hummingbird tongues and caviar?
Posted by: zombie at January 01, 2016 03:48 PM (jBuUi)
316
Jeff Weimer at January 01, 2016 03:44 PM (E1IKf)
This is a good point.
Zombie, I don't envy your situation. If it were me I would try to get my parent to agree with helping the sibling. If the parent refused I wouldn't do it.
This is a good point.
Zombie, I don't envy your situation. If it were me I would try to get my parent to agree with helping the sibling. If the parent refused I wouldn't do it.
Posted by: CaliGirl at January 01, 2016 03:48 PM (egOGm)
317
Howabout... Women I Want to Pork? Its a coffee table book, really
Make sure to have the beautiful color plates crafted by a meticulous Japanese artist.
Make sure to have the beautiful color plates crafted by a meticulous Japanese artist.
Posted by: Grump928(C) says Free Soothie!, with purchase of commenter of equal or greater value at January 01, 2016 03:48 PM (rwI+c)
318
Do you let your sibling die on the sidewalk in front
of the estate, as you and the bedridden father dine on hummingbird
tongues and caviar?
Posted by: zombie at January 01, 2016 03:48 PM (jBuUi)
Really?
of the estate, as you and the bedridden father dine on hummingbird
tongues and caviar?
Posted by: zombie at January 01, 2016 03:48 PM (jBuUi)
Really?
Posted by: Kindltot at January 01, 2016 03:51 PM (q2o38)
319
Prayers for me, too...... Step Mom is beginning major mental slippage, and on an accelerating curve.
Something we should all do in 2016. Count our blessings.
Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX
You have my prayers.
It only gets faster with time. Plan as if tomorrow was next year. Don't wait to do anything. And may God grant you the strength you'll need.
Prayers for me, too...... Step Mom is beginning major mental slippage, and on an accelerating curve.
Something we should all do in 2016. Count our blessings.
Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX
You have my prayers.
It only gets faster with time. Plan as if tomorrow was next year. Don't wait to do anything. And may God grant you the strength you'll need.
Posted by: Ed Anger at January 01, 2016 03:51 PM (RcpcZ)
320
zombie at January 01, 2016 03:48 PM (jBuUi)
I am still of the mind that it's your parents decision. It's still immoral to steal from a rich man to feed a starving man.
I'm not implying you are stealing. I just think it is your parents money.
I am still of the mind that it's your parents decision. It's still immoral to steal from a rich man to feed a starving man.
I'm not implying you are stealing. I just think it is your parents money.
Posted by: CaliGirl at January 01, 2016 03:54 PM (egOGm)
321
Is the parent competent or not? That he gave you poa, lends me to believe he is not. So, it is your choice. Plus, I dont think a court will ever hold you in contempt for doing the right thing for the son. Go consult a atty. Bill the estate.
Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at January 01, 2016 03:54 PM (iQIUe)
322
The addict has to know that spending money on drugs means the threat of homelessness and that is the only way the addict will start to get better.
Posted by: chemjeff
The addiction situation is itself complicated.
We as a family have already tried the "let the addict hit bottom" strategy, but it just hasn't worked -- sibling apparently has no bottom. No matter how far down the situation goes s/he just keeps on keeping on, long past what anyone else would have considered "hitting bottom."
And it's not just drugs. It's other things. it's "addiction" as a personality trait, a lifestyle, not a specific substance or behavior.
Sibling has basically said, also in a rare moment of clarity, that the addictive lifestyle is just "looking for love," love never gotten from the family, and if even a smidgen of love and support was given, the need for the addiction lifestyle would subside.
Posted by: chemjeff
The addiction situation is itself complicated.
We as a family have already tried the "let the addict hit bottom" strategy, but it just hasn't worked -- sibling apparently has no bottom. No matter how far down the situation goes s/he just keeps on keeping on, long past what anyone else would have considered "hitting bottom."
And it's not just drugs. It's other things. it's "addiction" as a personality trait, a lifestyle, not a specific substance or behavior.
Sibling has basically said, also in a rare moment of clarity, that the addictive lifestyle is just "looking for love," love never gotten from the family, and if even a smidgen of love and support was given, the need for the addiction lifestyle would subside.
Posted by: zombie at January 01, 2016 03:56 PM (jBuUi)
323
I resolve to vote. For the candidate that least resembles President Prick.
I made a prayer, Jim. God bless.
I made a prayer, Jim. God bless.
Posted by: william at January 01, 2016 03:58 PM (cwAFZ)
324
283 Zombie, I know I am late, but I would tread softly. How many other siblings do you have?
Posted by: CaliGirl
That itself is an extremely complicated question.
But, as far as we know, from this parent, just we two as full siblings.
Posted by: CaliGirl
That itself is an extremely complicated question.
But, as far as we know, from this parent, just we two as full siblings.
Posted by: zombie at January 01, 2016 03:58 PM (jBuUi)
325
See an atty, zombie. They can advise you how to help yr brother and protect yourself from any estate complications. Or, dont see an atty. But asking for advice here will get you nowhere.
Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at January 01, 2016 03:58 PM (iQIUe)
326
Go consult a atty. Bill the estate.
Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at January 01, 2016 03:54 PM (iQIUe)
Excellent advice. And for the morality of your decision, you may want to speak with a priest/minister or some other councilor you respect.
Go consult a atty. Bill the estate.
Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at January 01, 2016 03:54 PM (iQIUe)
Excellent advice. And for the morality of your decision, you may want to speak with a priest/minister or some other councilor you respect.
Posted by: Ed Anger at January 01, 2016 04:03 PM (RcpcZ)
327
Make sure to have the beautiful color plates crafted by a meticulous Japanese artist.
Posted by: Grump928(C) says Free Soothie!, with purchase of commenter of
equal or greater value at January 01, 2016 03:48 PM (rwI+c)
It would be funnier if all the pics were grainy Polaroid snaps taken through windows and peepholes.
Posted by: Grump928(C) says Free Soothie!, with purchase of commenter of
equal or greater value at January 01, 2016 03:48 PM (rwI+c)
It would be funnier if all the pics were grainy Polaroid snaps taken through windows and peepholes.
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at January 01, 2016 04:03 PM (4ErVI)
328
296 @ 68, Zombie.
We have identical family circumstances, there.
But I'll identify the miscreant as my only and older brother. ...
...
Hang in there, Zombie. You're loved, admired, respected and needed 'round these here parts of the 'net. In a big way, too.
Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX
Posted by: Jim
Wow -- you actually have it worse than me! Prayers.
One way in which your hair-raising family circumstance is EASIER than mine, however, is that there is a clearly identifiable villain (your bother). In my case, it's not so clear. Both parent and sibling are fundamentally immoral, albeit is different ways.
We have identical family circumstances, there.
But I'll identify the miscreant as my only and older brother. ...
...
Hang in there, Zombie. You're loved, admired, respected and needed 'round these here parts of the 'net. In a big way, too.
Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX
Posted by: Jim
Wow -- you actually have it worse than me! Prayers.
One way in which your hair-raising family circumstance is EASIER than mine, however, is that there is a clearly identifiable villain (your bother). In my case, it's not so clear. Both parent and sibling are fundamentally immoral, albeit is different ways.
Posted by: zombie at January 01, 2016 04:03 PM (jBuUi)
329
325 See an atty, zombie. They can advise you how to help yr brother and protect yourself from any estate complications. Or, dont see an atty. But asking for advice here will get you nowhere.
Excellent advice zombie.
You also may be able to bill the estate for your time spent. You could give your sibling the money. I would check with an attorney before doing this.
Excellent advice zombie.
You also may be able to bill the estate for your time spent. You could give your sibling the money. I would check with an attorney before doing this.
Posted by: CaliGirl at January 01, 2016 04:06 PM (egOGm)
330
325
See an atty, zombie. They can advise you how to help yr brother and
protect yourself from any estate complications. Or, dont see an atty.
But asking for advice here will get you nowhere.
Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at January 01, 2016 03:58 PM (iQIUe)
Actually I've found asking for advice here is a pretty good idea. Even if the advice you get is to stop asking for advice and see an attorney, which in this instance is probably the right move.
See an atty, zombie. They can advise you how to help yr brother and
protect yourself from any estate complications. Or, dont see an atty.
But asking for advice here will get you nowhere.
Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at January 01, 2016 03:58 PM (iQIUe)
Actually I've found asking for advice here is a pretty good idea. Even if the advice you get is to stop asking for advice and see an attorney, which in this instance is probably the right move.
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at January 01, 2016 04:07 PM (4ErVI)
331
Zombie, I am the last person in the world to give advice, so you should ignore what I say.
Do not, however, try to purchase forgiveness for your parent through a wealth transfer to your sibling.
Salvation is not found that way
forgiveness is not bought
redemption cannot be paid through third party checks.
I know you want good endings for everyone. You are a moral person and a dutiful child and sibling.
I don't think you will find it this way, though.
Do not, however, try to purchase forgiveness for your parent through a wealth transfer to your sibling.
Salvation is not found that way
forgiveness is not bought
redemption cannot be paid through third party checks.
I know you want good endings for everyone. You are a moral person and a dutiful child and sibling.
I don't think you will find it this way, though.
Posted by: Kindltot at January 01, 2016 04:08 PM (q2o38)
332
zombie,
The part about speaking with an attorney is good advice. The other part about asking here for advice is wrong.
The part about speaking with an attorney is good advice. The other part about asking here for advice is wrong.
Posted by: CaliGirl at January 01, 2016 04:10 PM (egOGm)
333
Families. My in-laws gave power of attorney to their black-sheep daughter basically because they wanted her to know that they loved her and didn't want her to feel left out. Terrible idea. She stole all the life insurance money and tried to keep my bil from his share of the little inheritance she hadn't spent. Her reasoning: "He has more money than God." Which, if he had, wouldn't make a difference, but he doesn't, just is money-wise.
My in-laws ended up living the ends of their lives in her "care" which made me heart-sick to see. There wasn't much we could do but visit and make sure they received the basic necessities.
My resolution: never put my kids in a situation like that.
My in-laws ended up living the ends of their lives in her "care" which made me heart-sick to see. There wasn't much we could do but visit and make sure they received the basic necessities.
My resolution: never put my kids in a situation like that.
Posted by: California Girl at January 01, 2016 04:10 PM (l+qoZ)
334
If you find a source for Type 26 brass please post on each gum thread. I know some people who are interested.
Posted by: Kindltot - channeling Chico at January 01, 2016 02:58 PM (q2o3
10-4....when I locate and buy the revolver I hope to find the ammo too and I will gladly share some of the spent brass to whomever is interested. She is the last on my list and 2016 is the year.
Posted by: Kindltot - channeling Chico at January 01, 2016 02:58 PM (q2o3
10-4....when I locate and buy the revolver I hope to find the ammo too and I will gladly share some of the spent brass to whomever is interested. She is the last on my list and 2016 is the year.
Posted by: Hairyback Guy at January 01, 2016 04:42 PM (ej1L0)
335
"let the addict hit bottom" strategy,
How do you know it's the bottom?
You stop digging.
Keeping them alive til then can be tough.
How do you know it's the bottom?
You stop digging.
Keeping them alive til then can be tough.
Posted by: DaveA at January 01, 2016 04:52 PM (DL2i+)
Posted by: DaveA at January 01, 2016 04:55 PM (DL2i+)
337
I resolve to be more diligent about sorting through my photos and to post them (the good or notable ones) on line.
I resolve to empty my camera(s) and GPS and keep them relatively empty.
I resolve to be nicer to my wife.
I resolve something, something, a few pounds lighter.
I resolve to empty my camera(s) and GPS and keep them relatively empty.
I resolve to be nicer to my wife.
I resolve something, something, a few pounds lighter.
Posted by: fluffy at January 01, 2016 05:03 PM (AfsKp)
338
I resolve to be even more awesome in 2016 than I was in 2015.
Posted by: Dancing Queen at January 01, 2016 05:13 PM (aNrvT)
339
I resolve to drink less, and smoke less, and do those other things that rdbrewer said. I know when I've heard words of wisdom. Ain't gonna practice war no more.
Posted by: goon at January 01, 2016 05:40 PM (gy5kE)
Posted by: Trayvon Martin at January 01, 2016 05:44 PM (hgpSN)
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