aceofspadeshq at gee mail.com
CBD:
cbd.aoshq at gee mail.com
Buck:
buck.throckmorton at protonmail.com
joe mannix:
mannix2024 at proton.me
MisHum:
petmorons at gee mail.com
J.J. Sefton:
sefton at cutjibnewsletter.com
Overnight Open Thread (12-31-2015) – New Years Eve Edition
Happy New Year All!
"Norma Adams-Wade's June 15 column incorrectly called Mary Ann Thompson Frenk a socialist. She is a socialite." - The Dallas Morning News.
"Correction: An earlier version of this article misidentified the number of years E.B. White wrote for The New Yorker. It was five decades, not centuries." -The New York Times.
"Just to keep the record straight, it was the famous Whistler's Mother, not Hitler's, that was exhibited at the recent meeting of the Pleasantville Methodists. There is nothing to be gained in trying to explain how the error occurred." -Titusville (Pa.) Herald.
"Karol Wojtyla was referred to in Saturday's Credo column as "the first non-Catholic pope for 450 years". This should, of course, have read "non-Italian pope." -London Times.
"The Ottawa Citizen and Southam News wish to apologize for our apology to Mark Steyn, published Oct. 22. In correcting the incorrect statements about Mr. Steyn published Oct. 15, we incorrectly published the incorrect correction. We accept and regret that our original regrets were unacceptable." - Ottawa Citizen and Southam News.
Those responsible for sacking the guilty parties at the Ottawa Citizen and Southam News have been sacked.
He Fucking Loves Science Which Is Why He Must Shit All Over Your Human Joys
(Thanks to Slu)
OK, critics: We have heard you. This year, instead of dwelling on the negatives, we're going to start our annual review with a List of the Top Ten Good Things That Happened in 2015. Ready? Here we go:1. We didn't hear that much about Honey Boo Boo.
2.
OK, we'll have to get back to you on Good Things 2 through 10. We apologize, but 2015 had so many negatives that we're having trouble seeing the positives. It's like we're on the Titanic, and it's tilting at an 85-degree angle, its propellers way up in the air, and we're dangling over the cold Atlantic trying to tell ourselves: "At least there's no waiting for the shuffleboard courts!"
Are we saying that 2015 was the worst year ever? Are we saying it was worse than, for example, 1347, the year when the bubonic plague killed a large part of humanity?
Yes, we are saying that.
(via The H2)
Why We Sing "Auld Lang Syne" on New Year's Eve
Because Guy Lombardo's radio show in 1929.
In Search Of...the Pisco Punch
Duncan Nicol died in 1921 and took the secret with him and people have been trying to recreate the cocktail ever since.
The World's Hottest Government Ministers, Ranked
New Orleans Cops Solve Spooky Hospital Mystery
Thanks to meddling kids.
Yahoo group. That is all.
Come on be a smartie and join the yahoo group party! For the children. Why do you hate children?
And my lo-fi Twitter spew.
Why I am not despairing and continue to endeavor to persevere:
It is not incumbent upon you to finish the task, but neither are you free to absolve yourself from it.
-- Rabbi Tarfon, Pirkei Avot 2:15-16
Notice: Posted by permission of AceCorp LLC. Taunt drunken happy-fun ball at own risk. Anyone who pukes outside the provided receptacles will be charged a cleaning fee.
Comments
(Jump to bottom of comments)Posted by: AltonJackson at December 31, 2015 10:19 PM (KCxzN)
Posted by: tbodie at December 31, 2015 10:20 PM (Z+JNA)
Posted by: Slapweasel (Cold1), (T) at December 31, 2015 10:21 PM (OQ9R7)
Posted by: Anna Puma at December 31, 2015 10:21 PM (WnA2J)
Posted by: Harry Paratestes at December 31, 2015 10:21 PM (AkOaV)
Posted by: Lea at December 31, 2015 10:22 PM (vmMMi)
Posted by: tbodie at December 31, 2015 10:22 PM (Z+JNA)
Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at December 31, 2015 10:22 PM (8PbKi)
Posted by: Slapweasel (Cold1), (T) at December 31, 2015 10:23 PM (OQ9R7)
Posted by: Weasel at December 31, 2015 10:23 PM (e3bId)
Posted by: Weasel at December 31, 2015 10:24 PM (e3bId)
I always like to look at old photos of New Year's Eves past. Sad to think everyone in that pic above is dead now.
Watching Fox I see Megyn isn't doing the NYE thing anymore. Guilfoyle looks like a frump in that coat.
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at December 31, 2015 10:24 PM (4ErVI)
Back to writing. You have been a big help. And I think all LEOs, due to damaged structures and just being finally able to handle the crooks, will reopen Alcatraz as a 'temporary detainment center' after the quake.
Posted by: Anna Puma at December 31, 2015 10:24 PM (WnA2J)
Posted by: cthulhu at December 31, 2015 10:25 PM (EzgxV)
Posted by: garrett at December 31, 2015 10:25 PM (hQj0F)
Posted by: Dr. Rumack at December 31, 2015 10:25 PM (H9MG5)
Posted by: A.Smythers, A Celt at December 31, 2015 10:25 PM (ap4CP)
Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian, wanna get a cup of coffee? at December 31, 2015 10:25 PM (voOPb)
Isn't this really the story of 2015?
Posted by: tbodie at December 31, 2015 10:26 PM (Z+JNA)
Posted by: AshevilleRobert at December 31, 2015 10:27 PM (9ltS8)
Posted by: Jinx the Cat at December 31, 2015 10:27 PM (3rMal)
We're counting on you."
-Posted by: Dr. Rumack at December 31, 2015 10:25 PM (H9MG5)
I can't perform under duress. I'm going to take the next few days off.
Posted by: Slapweasel (Cold1), (T) at December 31, 2015 10:27 PM (OQ9R7)
Posted by: Beth M at December 31, 2015 10:27 PM (kiy9d)
Posted by: garrett at December 31, 2015 10:27 PM (hQj0F)
Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at December 31, 2015 10:22 PM (8PbKi)
I just a realized Gary Cole is just playing a redneck mike Brady in that movie. It all makes sense now.
Posted by: Lea at December 31, 2015 10:27 PM (vmMMi)
Posted by: eman at December 31, 2015 10:27 PM (MQEz6)
Posted by: Jinx the Cat at December 31, 2015 10:28 PM (3rMal)
I suspect they have an, ahem "special relationship".
Posted by: Tilikum Moderately Nefarious Killer Whale at December 31, 2015 10:28 PM (hVdx9)
Posted by: kbdabear at December 31, 2015 10:29 PM (GrXXa)
And you know that hottest ministers thing was rigged as it did not include Sec. Hillary Diane Roddentwat Clinton.
Posted by: publius (not Breitbart publius) at December 31, 2015 10:29 PM (dvuhZ)
Posted by: Ricardo Kill at December 31, 2015 10:29 PM (fJG7w)
Posted by: Adriane the Holiday Critic ... at December 31, 2015 10:29 PM (AoK0a)
Posted by: ONT Greeter at December 31, 2015 10:29 PM (qUNWi)
Posted by: eman at December 31, 2015 10:30 PM (MQEz6)
Let me be clear. Some say that it is unwise to drink Vanilla Porter and Irish Whisky in succession while on cold medicine while others believe that the three should only be consumed while mixed in the same glass. I for one, reject this false choice.
'sup jackwagons
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 31, 2015 10:30 PM (o98Jz)
Posted by: Tyler Mason at December 31, 2015 10:31 PM (o8Ix7)
Posted by: L, Elle at December 31, 2015 10:31 PM (2x3L+)
Posted by: Buzzion at December 31, 2015 10:31 PM (eeJrm)
Posted by: garrett at December 31, 2015 10:31 PM (hQj0F)
Posted by: tbodie at December 31, 2015 10:32 PM (Z+JNA)
heh heh heh ...
Posted by: Zombie in a Lampshade Hat ... at December 31, 2015 10:32 PM (AoK0a)
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at December 31, 2015 10:32 PM (4ErVI)
Happy New Year, one and all.
You are all loved & appreciated. Especially you, Meat. Thanks for everything you do to keep us simpletons entertained. You're a good egg.
Posted by: Chi at December 31, 2015 10:32 PM (Qb4mU)
Posted by: Jinx the Cat at December 31, 2015 10:28 PM (3rMal)
I was going to make a reference, but I'm blanking on the name.
Anyone know who I'm thinking about? I think he was late 1800s / early 1900s millionaire who ate like 4 lobsters, 3 steaks, all kinds of other shit every day. notoriously fat guy?
Posted by: Harry Paratestes at December 31, 2015 10:32 PM (AkOaV)
Posted by: davidt at December 31, 2015 10:32 PM (8aOqE)
https://twitter.com/kbdabear/status/682611649728000000
https://twitter.com/kbdabear/status/682611800072847360
https://twitter.com/kbdabear/status/682611943400603649
https://twitter.com/kbdabear/status/682612075395334145
Posted by: kbdabear at December 31, 2015 10:32 PM (GrXXa)
Posted by: The Resolved Hat at December 31, 2015 10:33 PM (vBeA5)
Posted by: CMU VET at December 31, 2015 10:33 PM (ejB0r)
Fuck you, Father Time!
Fuck you, Grim Reaper!
**does pelvic thrust in FT and GR's direction**
**breaks hip**
Posted by: Abe Vigoda at December 31, 2015 10:34 PM (H9MG5)
Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian, wanna get a cup of coffee? at December 31, 2015 10:34 PM (voOPb)
Posted by: Adriane the Endothermic Reaction Critic ... at December 31, 2015 10:34 PM (AoK0a)
-Posted by: Buzzion at December 31, 2015 10:31 PM (eeJrm)
I, (for one), believe you.
I also believe that your death and revival was the Most Inspirational of 2015.
*casts vote*
Posted by: Slapweasel (Cold1), (T) at December 31, 2015 10:34 PM (OQ9R7)
Posted by: garrett at December 31, 2015 10:34 PM (hQj0F)
Posted by: lindafell de spair at December 31, 2015 10:34 PM (xVgrA)
................
Well, at least you know where your money didn`t go!
Posted by: Tyler Mason at December 31, 2015 10:35 PM (o8Ix7)
I like to set achievable goals.
Posted by: Splunge at December 31, 2015 10:35 PM (iMxBJ)
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at December 31, 2015 10:36 PM (4ErVI)
To be fair, an awful lot of socialites are socialists, so it's easy to see how such a mistake could be made.
Posted by: rickl at December 31, 2015 10:36 PM (sdi6R)
I promise not to taunt again for the rest of the year.
Posted by: Buzzion at December 31, 2015 10:31 PM (eeJrm)
???? But, as a Fapping Ghost, you're beyond happy fun ball's reach. Taunt at will...
Posted by: bebe's boobs destroy at December 31, 2015 10:36 PM (8gcX0)
May your hearts be full, your pockets never empty, and your hobo pelts fetch top dollar.
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Still Accepting Harem Applicants at December 31, 2015 10:36 PM (/33sy)
------
27 I just ate 2 dozen oysters
Posted by: Jinx the Cat
-------------------
I feel like now might be an inappropriate time to say "Hi to the wife!"
Maybe tell her tomorrow...
Posted by: Chi at December 31, 2015 10:36 PM (Qb4mU)
Posted by: Adriane the Endothermic Reaction Critic ... at December 31, 2015 10:36 PM (AoK0a)
Posted by: Slapweasel (Cold1), (T) at December 31, 2015 10:21 PM (OQ9R7)
Thank you ... wait, what?!?
Posted by: Slappy at December 31, 2015 10:37 PM (KS+qL)
Posted by: eman at December 31, 2015 10:37 PM (MQEz6)
OK, I'll be realistic and wish for a jello wrestling match with Kate Upton
Posted by: kbdabear at December 31, 2015 10:37 PM (GrXXa)
Posted by: eleven at December 31, 2015 10:37 PM (qUNWi)
A time to recall those who are not here, will never be here again. There are others that I do not know, but others will mention them.
Here's to Backhoe, who I trust is with his beloved Miss Emily, and to Angler.
Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind?
Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and old lang syne?
CHORUS:
For auld lang syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne,
we'll take a cup of kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.
And surely you’ll buy your pint cup!
and surely I’ll buy mine!
And we'll take a cup o’ kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.
CHORUS
We two have run about the slopes,
and picked the daisies fine;
But we’ve wandered many a weary foot,
since auld lang syne.
CHORUS
We two have paddled in the stream,
from morning sun till dine†;
But seas between us broad have roared
since auld lang syne.
CHORUS
And there’s a hand my trusty friend!
And give me a hand o’ thine!
And we’ll take a right good-will draught,
for auld lang syne.
CHORUS
Posted by: Mike Hammer, toasting friends who are gone at December 31, 2015 10:37 PM (RrDm2)
Just me & Milady celebrating quietly tonight. She's experimenting with a new eggnog recipe.
While it's chilling, she just told me, she's going to fry up some salmon.
Heard only two fireworks so far. But lots of sirens on the highway.
Happy New Year's, baby!
Posted by: mindful webworker - and daze of auld lang syne at December 31, 2015 10:37 PM (ACs58)
(No, I'm not on my iPhone or drunk)
Posted by: lindafell de spair at December 31, 2015 10:34 PM (xVgrA)
Heh
Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian, wanna get a cup of coffee? at December 31, 2015 10:37 PM (voOPb)
May 2016 be filled with some manly men in kilts ...
Posted by: Adriane the Endothermic Reaction Critic ... at December 31, 2015 10:38 PM (AoK0a)
Fuck it, I'm going to pour myself another scotch and practice Auld Lang Syne on the ivories for the moment the clock strikes midnight.
Posted by: Kreplach at December 31, 2015 10:38 PM (WVvzl)
------
Ha! Buzzion is kinda like the blog Jesus. I guess I'm like the doubting apostle Thomas. I'm not sure if he is alive or not. I think he is dead
Posted by: L, Elle at December 31, 2015 10:39 PM (2x3L+)
-Posted by: Slappy at December 31, 2015 10:37 PM (KS+qL)
Welcome back aboard, Sir!
Posted by: Slapweasel (Cold1), (T) at December 31, 2015 10:39 PM (OQ9R7)
Posted by: eleven at December 31, 2015 10:37 PM (qUNWi)
Well, that's an unconventional way of wishing someone "Happy New Year."
Posted by: Slappy at December 31, 2015 10:40 PM (KS+qL)
Why don't you ladies come back to my apartment to discuss a new trilateral commission?
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Still Accepting Harem Applicants at December 31, 2015 10:40 PM (/33sy)
Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian, wanna get a cup of coffee? at December 31, 2015 10:41 PM (voOPb)
Posted by: Vendette at December 31, 2015 10:41 PM (ZHuTJ)
-Posted by: L, Elle at December 31, 2015 10:39 PM (2x3L+)
He is dead. The "undead" zombie posts in his stead.
Posted by: Slapweasel (Cold1), (T) at December 31, 2015 10:41 PM (OQ9R7)
He of all people should know about setting an arbitrary value for what constitutes the zero value of a quantity.
Posted by: chemjeff at December 31, 2015 10:42 PM (uZNvH)
Posted by: Jinx the Cat at December 31, 2015 10:42 PM (3rMal)
Posted by: Buzzion at December 31, 2015 10:42 PM (qKGWz)
Posted by: A.Smythers, A Celt at December 31, 2015 10:42 PM (ap4CP)
Sparty has drowned
Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian, wanna get a cup of coffee? at December 31, 2015 10:41 PM (voOPb)
ESPN will be unwatchable.
Not that it isn't most of the time.
Posted by: Vendette at December 31, 2015 10:42 PM (ZHuTJ)
Posted by: Butch at December 31, 2015 10:43 PM (hXu8T)
Oh, he's alive. In our hearts......and keyboards.
Posted by: Ricardo Kill at December 31, 2015 10:43 PM (XlYQ2)
In the great spirit of spending the evening online or remotely from physical humans, I join you. I embrace you. I cherish the Horde and all it's appurtenances.
Also, I'm on the phone with alexthechick.
I won the internet this year.
Posted by: Bandersnatch, Opus/Bill the Cat 2016 at December 31, 2015 10:43 PM (1xUj/)
"New Year's Rockin' Eve" just doesn't cut it.
Posted by: rickl at December 31, 2015 10:43 PM (sdi6R)
Welcome back aboard, Sir!
Posted by: Slapweasel (Cold1), (T) at December 31, 2015 10:39 PM (OQ9R7)
Thank you, Sir.
BTW, is that a picture of your house with all the X-Mas lights that is linked in your username?
Posted by: Slappy at December 31, 2015 10:44 PM (KS+qL)
Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian, wanna get a cup of coffee? at December 31, 2015 10:44 PM (voOPb)
Posted by: publius (not Breitbart publius) at December 31, 2015 10:44 PM (dvuhZ)
Posted by: Jinx the Cat at December 31, 2015 10:45 PM (3rMal)
Posted by: chemjeff at December 31, 2015 10:45 PM (uZNvH)
Posted by: bananaDream at December 31, 2015 10:45 PM (Ag8Mw)
Posted by: publius (not Breitbart publius) at December 31, 2015 10:44 PM (dvuhZ)
***
Natch.....
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Still Accepting Harem Applicants at December 31, 2015 10:45 PM (/33sy)
Posted by: Butch at December 31, 2015 10:43 PM (hXu8T)
awesome! yes, thank you
Posted by: Harry Paratestes at December 31, 2015 10:45 PM (AkOaV)
67
I have here, an only rarely-used Waterford crystal Old Fashion glass, three fingers of JB Rare. It is time for this.
A time to recall those who are not here, will never be here again.
There are others that I do not know, but others will mention them.
Here's to Backhoe, who I trust is with his beloved Miss Emily, and to Angler.
Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and never brought to mind?
Should old acquaintance be forgot,
and old lang syne?
CHORUS:
For auld lang syne, my dear,
for auld lang syne,
we'll take a cup of kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.
And surely you'll buy your pint cup!
and surely I'll buy mine!
And we'll take a cup o' kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.
CHORUS
We two have run about the slopes,
and picked the daisies fine;
But we've wandered many a weary foot,
since auld lang syne.
CHORUS
We two have paddled in the stream,
from morning sun till dine;
But seas between us broad have roared
since auld lang syne.
CHORUS
And there's a hand my trusty friend!
And give me a hand o' thine!
And we'll take a right good-will draught,
for auld lang syne.
CHORUS
Posted by: Mike Hammer, toasting friends who are gone at December 31, 2015 10:37 PM (RrDm2)
Posted by: cthulhu at December 31, 2015 10:45 PM (EzgxV)
-------------
That.
Posted by: Mike Hammer, toasting friends who are gone at December 31, 2015 10:46 PM (RrDm2)
Posted by: rickl at December 31, 2015 10:43 PM (sdi6R)
Guy Lombardo died?!? I figured he was pushing 115-120 years of age but I didn't know he was dead. Thanks for ruining my New Year's Eve celebration.
Posted by: Slappy at December 31, 2015 10:46 PM (KS+qL)
Smiles from the threshold of the year to come,
Whispering 'it will be happier'..."
Alfred Lord Tennyson
Wishing the horde a healthy, happy and prosperous New Yea.
Posted by: Dancing Queen at December 31, 2015 10:46 PM (aNrvT)
Posted by: The Resolved Hat at December 31, 2015 10:33 PM (vBeA5)
I have none. I don't make them. Haven't for years.
Posted by: Insomniac - Pale Horse/Death 2016 at December 31, 2015 10:46 PM (kpqmD)
Posted by: kbdabear at December 31, 2015 10:47 PM (GrXXa)
People get the "Happy New Year" they deserve.
Posted by: Ricardo Kill at December 31, 2015 10:47 PM (N8Yi6)
May 2016 be filled with some manly men in kilts ...
Posted by: Adriane the Endothermic Reaction Critic ... at December 31, 2015 10:38 PM (AoK0a)
Amen! Here's one for a Happy New Year. Delete the space after the - after cache
http://media-cache-
ak0.pin___.com/736x/c3/2f/69/c32f695eb05cd5418b45c6f94f36ea19.jpg
Posted by: bebe's boobs destroy at December 31, 2015 10:47 PM (8gcX0)
Posted by: Butch at December 31, 2015 10:47 PM (hXu8T)
Posted by: Dr. Rumack at December 31, 2015 10:47 PM (H9MG5)
Posted by: chemjeff at December 31, 2015 10:47 PM (uZNvH)
Thanks, buddy.
Posted by: eman at December 31, 2015 10:47 PM (MQEz6)
Posted by: Mike Hammer, toasting friends who are gone at December 31, 2015 10:47 PM (RrDm2)
-Posted by: Slappy at December 31, 2015 10:44 PM (KS+qL)
Yes, Sir. Just under 12,000 lights.
Posted by: Slapweasel (Cold1), (T) at December 31, 2015 10:48 PM (OQ9R7)
Happy New Year!
Where did 2015 go?
Posted by: Vendette at December 31, 2015 10:41 PM (ZHuTJ)
So far as I'm concerned, once it's in the sewer-pipes, I don't care where it goes.
Posted by: cthulhu at December 31, 2015 10:48 PM (EzgxV)
Posted by: kbdabear at December 31, 2015 10:48 PM (GrXXa)
Posted by: chemjeff at December 31, 2015 10:48 PM (uZNvH)
Posted by: chemjeff at Dece
Go sec!!
Go hogs (when we get around to playing).
Ok now im out.
Posted by: Lea at December 31, 2015 10:48 PM (vmMMi)
Posted by: eleven at December 31, 2015 10:49 PM (qUNWi)
Posted by: Guy Mohawk at December 31, 2015 10:49 PM (ODxAs)
Posted by: A.Smythers, A Celt at December 31, 2015 10:49 PM (ap4CP)
I won the internet this year.
Posted by: Bandersnatch, Opus/Bill the Cat 2016 at December 31, 2015 10:43 PM (1xUj/)
Alex isn't posting...
http://tinyurl.com/zs6j3j8
Posted by: Vendette at December 31, 2015 10:49 PM (ZHuTJ)
Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian, wanna get a cup of coffee? at December 31, 2015 10:49 PM (voOPb)
93 35 - Just avoid cold meds that have acetaminophen. You liver will thank you.
Posted by: bananaDream at December 31, 2015 10:45 PM (Ag8Mw)
Way ahead of you. Never take that shit. I obsessively read medicine labels to avoid it.
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 31, 2015 10:49 PM (o98Jz)
Of course there is nothing cosmologically special about Jan. 1. The universe does not care what we define to be the start of a year. But who freakin' cares?
Posted by: chemjeff at December 31, 2015 10:49 PM (uZNvH)
Posted by: Adriane the Endothermic Reaction Critic ... at December 31, 2015 10:50 PM (AoK0a)
Posted by: Tilikum Moderately Nefarious Killer Whale at December 31, 2015 10:50 PM (hVdx9)
Posted by: Ricardo Kill at December 31, 2015 10:50 PM (N8Yi6)
Posted by: eleven at December 31, 2015 10:50 PM (qUNWi)
Posted by: chemjeff at December 31, 2015 10:50 PM (uZNvH)
Saint Paul says, "...walk in newness of life" (Romans 6:4).
What does that mean?
It simply means to get rid of all those old barnacles that have encrusted you for so long: resentments, dishonesties, rationalizations, fears, weaknesses, and so on. These must all go, so that you may "walk in newness of life."
When you're new, you feel like walking, head up, standing tall, for you have fresh new power.
That God may reactivate your life so that you may "walk in newness of life," why not just be done with some things. Get so tired of the old, so fed up with it, that you are done with it.
If you've been full of fear, be done with being full of fear.
If you've been full of error and defeat, be done with it.
Say, "By God's grace, I'm done with it," and take charge of yourself like never before.
And for certain, it will be a Happy New Year for you.
-Norman Vincent Peale, "Have a Great Day Every Day"
Posted by: L, Elle at December 31, 2015 10:50 PM (2x3L+)
Yes, Sir. Just under 12,000 lights.
Posted by: Slapweasel (Cold1), (T) at December 31, 2015 10:48 PM (OQ9R7)
Impressive. There is probably an entire nuclear power plant dedicated to powering your house around Christmas time.
Posted by: Slappy at December 31, 2015 10:51 PM (KS+qL)
http://tinyurl.com/
Copy and paste your long URLs into the box. Post the results here.
-Enjoy!
Posted by: Slapweasel (Cold1), (T) at December 31, 2015 10:51 PM (OQ9R7)
Let's just say that I sort of ripened late, by way of explaining this:
Went to a party in grad school and fell into a conversation with a very, very naughty English major. She was a lefty, and we debated and bantered a long while before it was time to leave.
We left together, and she suggested a nightcap at her place, which was, conveniently, a few blocks away.
We stopped a few times to make out like two hormonally-crazed high school cats in heat and made it through the vestibule and up the stairs to her room.
No preliminaries - we peeled down to the ball park, as it were.
She gasps. "oh, my God! You're a man!"
Is that a problem?
"I thought you were a super-butch dyke......"
We laughed and laughed and I still nailed her....
Amazing, eh? She thought it was 'transgressive' and sorta kinky.
Crazy girl, I miss her.......
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Still Accepting Harem Applicants at December 31, 2015 10:51 PM (/33sy)
Posted by: Tilikum Moderately Nefarious Killer Whale at December 31, 2015 10:51 PM (hVdx9)
Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian, wanna get a cup of coffee? at December 31, 2015 10:51 PM (voOPb)
Posted by: Splunge at December 31, 2015 10:51 PM (iMxBJ)
Posted by: Slapweasel
------------
*scribbles some numbers, performs a few calculations*
My official, professional, opinion is: That is a buttload of lights.
Posted by: Mike Hammer, toasting friends who are gone at December 31, 2015 10:52 PM (RrDm2)
http://tinyurl.com/j76nk8z
(She found a tube of wrapping paper and transformed it into a wizard's staff)
Posted by: pookysgirl at December 31, 2015 10:52 PM (K27gs)
Posted by: Guy Mohawk at December 31, 2015 10:52 PM (ODxAs)
Posted by: RGallegos at December 31, 2015 10:52 PM (49Jfq)
Posted by: rickl at December 31, 2015 10:43 PM (sdi6R)
Next thing you're going to tell us all is that "The World's Oldest Teenager" Dick Clark is dead.
Posted by: Slappy at December 31, 2015 10:53 PM (KS+qL)
Impressive. There is probably an entire nuclear power plant dedicated to powering your house around Christmas time.
Posted by: Slappy at December 31, 2015 10:51 PM (KS+qL)
I thought that nuke plant was reserved for someone's Sybian?
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 31, 2015 10:53 PM (o98Jz)
http://tinyurl.com/zs6j3j8
Posted by: Vendette
I may also thank the internet for introducing me to Vendette, who is the absolute fluffiest bunniest human who will kill you in your sleep.
Posted by: Bandersnatch, Opus/Bill the Cat 2016 at December 31, 2015 10:53 PM (1xUj/)
Posted by: chemjeff at December 31, 2015 10:53 PM (uZNvH)
Posted by: Ricardo Kill at December 31, 2015 10:53 PM (IvZJD)
Posted by: joncelli at December 31, 2015 10:54 PM (1FhAQ)
Posted by: Vendette at December 31, 2015 10:54 PM (ZHuTJ)
Posted by: Jinx the Cat at December 31, 2015 10:45 PM
Nice try, Jinx. I've been trying to get a SE MI MO ME set up for years...
{I'm just outside the wire of The Peoples' Republik of AnnArbor; close enough to Detroit (Rock City)..."heywoodblogger" on the yahoo e-mail thing & teh group. Shoot me an e-mail & we'll figure something out}
Are you in The Stupid Business*, Jinx?
*the automotive industry
Posted by: AltonJackson at December 31, 2015 10:55 PM (KCxzN)
Posted by: Chi at December 31, 2015 10:55 PM (Qb4mU)
Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at December 31, 2015 10:56 PM (jR7Wy)
I run with javascript and plug-ins turned off. YouTubes show up as "something went wrong" but offer a link which I can copy and use to download.
But not here anymore. I just get a blank space where the embed should be. I have to turn on the spyware options, and hit "play" before I can even get the link.
Nowhere else. Just here.
Why, Maet, why do you hate me?
But, the cougar video was pretty funny.
Posted by: mindful webworker - what have you done? at December 31, 2015 10:56 PM (ACs58)
-Posted by: Mike Hammer, toasting friends who are gone at December 31, 2015 10:52 PM (RrDm2)
*HAH!*
It only costs me $200 for the Month. They're on from 5-11 each day.
Incandescent *thumps* LED Every. Day. All. Of. The. Times. Period.
Posted by: Slapweasel (Cold1), (T) at December 31, 2015 10:56 PM (OQ9R7)
Posted by: Richard McEnroe at December 31, 2015 10:56 PM (Kucy5)
A slow sip, in honor of the Horde.
Another, a bit faster, thinking of the year to come.
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Still Accepting Harem Applicants at December 31, 2015 10:56 PM (/33sy)
Posted by: Insomniac - Pale Horse/Death 2016 at December 31, 2015 10:56 PM (kpqmD)
Posted by: L, Elle at December 31, 2015 10:56 PM (2x3L+)
Posted by: Tilikum Moderately Nefarious Killer Whale at December 31, 2015 10:56 PM (hVdx9)
They just showed the "Taco Bell Student Section" at the game.
I bet it doesn't smell good over there.
Posted by: Guy Mohawk at December 31, 2015 10:57 PM (ODxAs)
Raises glass.
Joffen.
Raises glass again.
Posted by: Chi at December 31, 2015 10:55 PM (Qb4mU)
And for his widow and daughter.
Posted by: Vendette at December 31, 2015 10:57 PM (ZHuTJ)
Posted by: bergerbilder at December 31, 2015 10:58 PM (IeXP9)
Posted by: Slapweasel (Cold1), (T) at December 31, 2015 10:58 PM (OQ9R7)
Posted by: chemjeff at December 31, 2015 10:58 PM (uZNvH)
ALL of you have given me hope, kept me not insane, and most importantly, gave me many great laughs when I needed it most. I love all you fake internet friends!!!
See, there IS one bright spot...AoSHQ!!!
THANK YOU ALL!!! {{hugs & smooches}}
Posted by: lindafell de spair at December 31, 2015 10:58 PM (xVgrA)
Posted by: Ricardo Kill at December 31, 2015 10:58 PM (dqlvE)
For cthulhu, who wanted pictures of Pookette and the Lacklo Laser, here you go:
http://tinyurl.com/j76nk8z
(She found a tube of wrapping paper and transformed it into a wizard's staff)
Posted by: pookysgirl at December 31, 2015 10:52 PM (K27gs)
OMG! Is that a "Girls love tentacles too!" shirt? What a little cutie....well worth blowing up your leg to avoid crushing.
Posted by: cthulhu at December 31, 2015 10:58 PM (EzgxV)
Posted by: donna at December 31, 2015 10:58 PM (/dSsq)
Posted by: L, Elle at December 31, 2015 10:58 PM (2x3L+)
May you and yours have a happy, healthy, and prosperous new year.
This includes, obviously the ACE, and the COBS.
Thanks for it all, and may GOD bless you...
Posted by: ChrisP at December 31, 2015 10:59 PM (h37Kg)
I have been visiting Detroit and Hamtramck for a number of years now and have some favorite haunts.
You up for a beer or a cuppa joe? Bound to be a Moron or two with nothing better to do on a frosty evening.
Posted by: Jinx the Cat at December 31, 2015 10:59 PM (3rMal)
Y'all know that in the morning it's going to be obvious to anyone pulling up this ONT who the antisocial, agoraphobic shut-ins are amongst Teh Horde, yes?
*whistles absently*
Fuck it. Like I care what people think of me. *sticks finger in air*
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 31, 2015 11:00 PM (o98Jz)
-Posted by: bergerbilder at December 31, 2015 10:58 PM (IeXP9)
Well Done, Sir!
My advice?
Keep clear of lions, tigers and RINOs.
Posted by: Slapweasel (Cold1), (T) at December 31, 2015 11:00 PM (OQ9R7)
Posted by: cthulhu at December 31, 2015 10:58 PM (EzgxV)
Done for.
Posted by: Vendette at December 31, 2015 11:00 PM (ZHuTJ)
*does a few more calculations*
Hmm. Assuming that they are LED's (?) that's only about 200W.
Now... if they were good old-fashioned 4W bulbs (as God intended), then it would obviously be a load of 48KW. Why is the power flickering ...?
Posted by: Mike Hammer, toasting friends who are gone at December 31, 2015 11:00 PM (RrDm2)
Posted by: chemjeff at December 31, 2015 11:00 PM (uZNvH)
Ho Lee Shit. Who do you think you are, Chevy Chase?
Posted by: Ricardo Kill at December 31, 2015 10:53 PM (IvZJD)
Of course not. He doesn't have an asshole in his bathrobe emptying a chemical toilet in the sewer in front of his house yelling, "Shitter was full!!!"
Posted by: Slappy at December 31, 2015 11:00 PM (KS+qL)
Posted by: cthulhu at December 31, 2015 10:58 PM (EzgxV)
It's a "Girls love games too!" shirt with a dragon on it that her aunt got for her because she gets sooooooooo excited for Pathfinder night (she has her own set of dice and figurines).
Everyone knows I'd break my leg again if it meant saving her, she's just so precious to all of us.
Posted by: pookysgirl at December 31, 2015 11:01 PM (K27gs)
*drink*
Posted by: chemjeff
--------------
*bumps monitor with glass*
Posted by: Mike Hammer, toasting friends who are gone at December 31, 2015 11:02 PM (RrDm2)
Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian, wanna get a cup of coffee? at December 31, 2015 11:02 PM (voOPb)
Posted by: chemjeff at December 31, 2015 11:00 PM (uZNvH)
I don't know if this is something we could do now, but could we establish a trust fund for her? I'd donate.
Posted by: Vendette at December 31, 2015 11:02 PM (ZHuTJ)
*Raises glass to all the un-named that are in our hearts*
I'm out.
Happy, Happy, Merry, Merry to You.
Talk to you next year.
Posted by: Guy Mohawk at December 31, 2015 11:03 PM (ODxAs)
Posted by: mindful webworker - don't open the coffin! at December 31, 2015 11:03 PM (ACs58)
174 Can you morons have a drink for me
Going on 28 years on Jan 12
Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian, wanna get a cup of coffee? at December 31, 2015 11:02 PM (voOPb)
Done.
Posted by: eman at December 31, 2015 11:03 PM (MQEz6)
Posted by: chemjeff at December 31, 2015 11:04 PM (uZNvH)
Posted by: Jinx the Cat at December 31, 2015 10:59 PM
Sounds like the foundation of a plan. Are you in the yahoo group?
Posted by: AltonJackson at December 31, 2015 11:04 PM (KCxzN)
Posted by: MikeinNJ at December 31, 2015 11:04 PM (Q5xft)
I guess this will be the first AoSHQ post of 2016.
Thank you Maet for all the great ONTs!
Posted by: @votermom at December 31, 2015 11:04 PM (cbfNE)
Going on 28 years on Jan 12
Oh congratulations, MH!
My ex has virtually the exact same time.
She's also doing much better at life than I am. I sometimes wonder if there's a correlation.
Posted by: Bandersnatch, Opus/Bill the Cat 2016 at December 31, 2015 11:04 PM (1xUj/)
Posted by: bergerbilder at December 31, 2015 11:05 PM (IeXP9)
Posted by: Slapweasel (Cold1),*To Our Sunshine Patriot* at December 31, 2015 11:05 PM (OQ9R7)
Sure, I would buy Moet if it came in handy 4-pack mini bottles, but it doesn't, as far as I know.
I'm not about to polish off a whole bottle by myself tonight, not without regretting it, and flat champagne the next day is not appealing.
Posted by: rickl at December 31, 2015 11:05 PM (sdi6R)
I love you.
Posted by: ONT Greeter at December 31, 2015 10:29 PM (qUNWi)
***
Sure, you love them now but wait until they are on their way out and you have to pat them down, looking for stolen silverware and booze.
Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at December 31, 2015 11:06 PM (8PbKi)
Posted by: Slapweasel (Cold1),*To Our Sunshine Patriot* at December 31, 2015 11:06 PM (OQ9R7)
100 proof Serbian plum brandy. Can't go wrong, there.
Posted by: bergerbilder at December 31, 2015 11:05 PM (IeXP9)
***
The hangover is soul-raping, but the advantage is that you don't remember a thing after you bought it.
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Still Accepting Harem Applicants at December 31, 2015 11:06 PM (/33sy)
And, Vendette - I pray for Belle often, but there is a bright spot. She was way too young to remember him. While there will be a big empty hole, she won't have to know the pain of losing a father she knew and loved. I have a little experience in this area...
Posted by: Chi at December 31, 2015 11:06 PM (Qb4mU)
Posted by: Richard McEnroe at December 31, 2015 11:06 PM (Kucy5)
My boys and I will be partaking of the Penguin Plunge at 2:00PM...temps are supposed to be hovering around freezing. Yay Canada!
Posted by: Brian in BC at December 31, 2015 11:06 PM (uVM+R)
Thanks for the laughs and the knowledge.
May 2016 bring us closer to family and friends, ready to stand strong for our shared values.
Posted by: AmericanKestrel, formerlymountainturtle at December 31, 2015 11:07 PM (hipNa)
Posted by: rickl
-----------------
Heh. From time to time, we've had a half-consumed bottle of Korbel sit in the fridge until the *following* New Year.
Posted by: Mike Hammer, toasting friends who are gone at December 31, 2015 11:07 PM (RrDm2)
I'd feel flattered... except since I ripped it off from NVP, I don't think I get to.
♥
Mmmmm. Milady just brought in some maple-glazed salmon. I'd share a bite, but the USB port is in use....
Posted by: mindful webworker - ending the year right at December 31, 2015 11:07 PM (ACs58)
pulling up this ONT who the antisocial, agoraphobic shut-ins are amongst
Teh Horde, yes?
*ears burn*
Posted by: Methos at December 31, 2015 11:08 PM (ZbV+0)
so sorryPosted by: chemjeff at December 31, 2015 11:08 PM (uZNvH)
Posted by: BeckoningChasm at December 31, 2015 11:08 PM (wZtOw)
Posted by: Brian in BC at December 31, 2015 11:09 PM (uVM+R)
Are we sure about that?
Posted by: Ricardo Kill at December 31, 2015 11:10 PM (UR1F/)
I was willing to go to Cleveland....Cleveland!...to do that with friends. But it turned out they weren't skinny dipping.
When I do the polar bear thing it's going to be nekkid.
Posted by: Bandersnatch, Opus/Bill the Cat 2016 at December 31, 2015 11:10 PM (1xUj/)
Posted by: BeckoningChasm
------------
That gal standing, in the center, looks like she's having fun. In fact, all of the women look a LOT cheerier than the men.
Posted by: Mike Hammer, toasting friends who are gone at December 31, 2015 11:10 PM (RrDm2)
Posted by: Christopher Walken at December 31, 2015 11:11 PM (dvuhZ)
Heh. From time to time, we've had a half-consumed bottle of Korbel sit in the fridge until the *following* New Year.
Posted by: Mike Hammer, toasting friends who are gone at December 31, 2015 11:07 PM (RrDm2)
The 4-packs are great. Each mini bottle is exactly one glass.
Posted by: rickl at December 31, 2015 11:11 PM (sdi6R)
Sins of omission. Another one of those big regrets that never leave you.
The mint Oreos too. Those kill me when I'm at the cookie aisle in the grocery store.
Posted by: L, Elle at December 31, 2015 11:12 PM (2x3L+)
Posted by: eman at December 31, 2015 11:12 PM (MQEz6)
I give you Goga Sekulic's canonical, legendary "Seksi biznismen":
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AoOXyaPVVgI
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Still Accepting Harem Applicants at December 31, 2015 11:12 PM (/33sy)
Y'all know that in the morning it's going to be obvious to anyone pulling up this ONT who the antisocial, agoraphobic shut-ins are amongst Teh Horde, yes?
*whistles absently*
Fuck it. Like I care what people think of me. *sticks finger in air*
Posted by: IllTemperedCur at December 31, 2015 11:00 PM (o98Jz)
Bah. I'm agoraphobic because people are outside and I'm antisocial because you don't meet many people inside your own house. And a toast of the virtual bourbon glass to my Dad, who departed in January 2015. Damn I miss that grumpy old engineer.
Posted by: joncelli at December 31, 2015 11:12 PM (1FhAQ)
I also caught a mistake regarding the cold and deflated football shenanigans. He explained the ideal gas law but then used the gauge pressure.
Posted by: BourbonChicken at December 31, 2015 11:13 PM (VdICR)
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at December 31, 2015 11:13 PM (4ErVI)
Posted by: Bandersnatch, Opus/Bill the Cat 2016
A real polar bear wears a fur coat.
Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at December 31, 2015 11:13 PM (FkBIv)
Going on 28 years on Jan 12."
-Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian, wanna get a cup of coffee? at December 31, 2015 11:02 PM (voOPb)
LOVE THAT!
Celebrate your sobriety and finding a Higher Power!
Your "new-found" light gives others hope.
Your faith allows others' joy.
Your inspiration and dedication pave the way to a New Life.
Continued Blessings!
Posted by: Slapweasel (Cold1),*To Our Sunshine Patriot* at December 31, 2015 11:14 PM (OQ9R7)
Posted by: Ricardo Kill at December 31, 2015 11:14 PM (UR1F/)
Posted by: eman at December 31, 2015 11:14 PM (MQEz6)
OMG! Is that a "Girls love tentacles too!" shirt? What a little cutie....well worth blowing up your leg to avoid crushing.
Posted by: cthulhu at December 31, 2015 10:58 PM (EzgxV)
It's
a "Girls love games too!" shirt with a dragon on it that her aunt got
for her because she gets sooooooooo excited for Pathfinder night (she
has her own set of dice and figurines).
Everyone knows I'd break my leg again if it meant saving her, she's just so precious to all of us.
Posted by: pookysgirl at December 31, 2015 11:01 PM (K27gs)
My mistake about the shirt....
Having grown-up as a self-absorbed nerd, it came as a real surprise to realize that, yeah, I'd run out in the street in front of a semi to try to push one of our godkids to safety. It's not something that I felt as a kid -- though my hat is off to Knoxville hero Zaevion Dobson, who instinctively knew something at the age of 15 that I was oblivious to until I was twice his age.
Posted by: cthulhu at December 31, 2015 11:15 PM (EzgxV)
Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at December 31, 2015 11:15 PM (FkBIv)
Posted by: Puddleglum@work, totally not spying, really! at December 31, 2015 11:15 PM (NGd+i)
Posted by: AltonJackson at December 31, 2015 11:15 PM (KCxzN)
Posted by: Brian in BC at December 31, 2015 11:09 PM (uVM+R)
I think your math may be off. I can drink three beers with no problem.
If I drank a whole full-sized bottle of champagne, I would be puking my guts out, and then I could look forward to the bedspins.
Posted by: rickl at December 31, 2015 11:15 PM (sdi6R)
-Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse at December 31, 2015 11:06 PM (8PbKi)
*sneaks out the back exit*
Posted by: Slapweasel (Cold1),*To Our Sunshine Patriot* at December 31, 2015 11:15 PM (OQ9R7)
I still feel bad for Joffen's kid. How awful.
Posted by: chemjeff at December 31, 2015 11:00 PM (uZNvH)
I don't know if this is something we could do now, but could we establish a trust fund for her? I'd donate.
Posted by: Vendette at December 31, 2015 11:02 PM (ZHuTJ)
There was, and probably still is, a trust fund. Unfortunately, instructions on how to access it are on discombobulated computers -- but they're also in ONTs of that era.
Posted by: cthulhu at December 31, 2015 11:16 PM (EzgxV)
Posted by: Skookumchuk at December 31, 2015 11:17 PM (/WPPJ)
I am in the Yahoo group, but don't visit often, I shall check there. Also in a FB group or two, a number of Michiganders hang out there.
Posted by: Jinx the Cat at December 31, 2015 11:17 PM (3rMal)
Don't burn the place down.
Okay, go ahead, do. Ace has it insured.
Posted by: mindful webworker - happy happy new new at December 31, 2015 11:18 PM (ACs58)
Posted by: jay hoenemeyer at December 31, 2015 11:18 PM (uvj0z)
No, humans need 1g +/- some small tolerance for long term, that's pretty much the settled science on that. All the processes of life developed for billions of years under 1g. Lots of things just go sideways when you change that.
He should have realized that, and all the more thought that he ought to check that out.
Posted by: Christopher Walken at December 31, 2015 11:18 PM (dvuhZ)
Posted by: chemjeff at December 31, 2015 11:18 PM (uZNvH)
Can dark matter be converted into baryonic matter?
Posted by: eman at December 31, 2015 11:19 PM (MQEz6)
Posted by: cthulhu at December 31, 2015 11:16 PM (EzgxV)
-----
Remind me Cthulhu and and Vendette, that info was posted at the Yahoo group. Its alot easier to search through than this place. I think The yahoo group has that info. Remind me, please?
Posted by: L, Elle at December 31, 2015 11:19 PM (2x3L+)
Fireworks are freaking out the dog.
See you around.
Posted by: Seamus Muldoon, still solid at December 31, 2015 11:20 PM (NeFrd)
When I do the polar bear thing it's going to be nekkid."
-Posted by: Bandersnatch, Opus/Bill the Cat 2016 at December 31, 2015 11:10 PM (1xUj/)
Never go through Cleveland without a guide.
Posted by: Slapweasel (Cold1),*To Our Sunshine Patriot* at December 31, 2015 11:21 PM (OQ9R7)
Posted by: Dack Thrombosis at December 31, 2015 11:13 PM (4ErVI)
They light up.
Posted by: pookysgirl at December 31, 2015 11:21 PM (K27gs)
Posted by: Slapweasel (Cold1),*To Our Sunshine Patriot* at December 31, 2015 11:21 PM (OQ9R7)
Posted by: Trimegistus at December 31, 2015 11:22 PM (k+K+t)
Posted by: Slapweasel (Cold1),*To Our Sunshine Patriot* at December 31, 2015 11:22 PM (OQ9R7)
>>> There was, and probably still is, a trust fund.
Unfortunately, instructions on how to access it are on discombobulated
computers -- but they're also in ONTs of that era.
Posted by: cthulhu at December 31, 2015 11:16 PM (EzgxV)
-----
Remind me Cthulhu and and Vendette, that info was posted at the
Yahoo group. Its alot easier to search through than this place. I
think The yahoo group has that info. Remind me, please?
Posted by: L, Elle at December 31, 2015 11:19 PM (2x3L+)
I'm sorry, but I'm not a regular on the yahoo group.
Posted by: cthulhu at December 31, 2015 11:22 PM (EzgxV)
You have nothing to be sorry about - it wasn't your fault!
It's real life. It's happened to lot of kids, believe me.
He is interred at Arlington, a little over 3 hours away, so I get to visit every so often.
L Elle - want to hear something funny? I don't know if John ever even tried mint oreos. That just happened to be our last public conversation, and it stuck.
You're not alone if you think of him whenever you see them, though.
I bought away pack that night, and privately, we kept joking away out them...
Posted by: Chi at December 31, 2015 11:22 PM (Qb4mU)
Posted by: chemjeff at December 31, 2015 11:22 PM (uZNvH)
Posted by: Bandersnatch, Opus/Bill the Cat 2016 at December 31, 2015 11:10 PM (1xUj/) <<<
Clothes or not, they don't care. Trust me.
Posted by: Leo DiCaprio at December 31, 2015 11:22 PM (H9MG5)
Posted by: Slapweasel (Cold1),*To Our Sunshine Patriot* at December 31, 2015 11:23 PM (OQ9R7)
Posted by: Niedermeyer's Dead Horse
****
I suggest going straight to x-rays with this group.
Posted by: Tilikum Moderately Nefarious Killer Whale at December 31, 2015 11:23 PM (hVdx9)
Posted by: Hanoverfist at December 31, 2015 11:23 PM (CbG28)
Posted by: L, Elle at December 31, 2015 11:23 PM (2x3L+)
Posted by: Trimegistus at December 31, 2015 11:24 PM (k+K+t)
Posted by: joncelli
--------------
Raises glass to joncelli's Dad. One grumpy old engineer to another.
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 31, 2015 11:24 PM (J3phO)
Posted by: Trimegistus at December 31, 2015 11:24 PM (k+K+t)
---
The only way to scare off safety nazis is with bigger fireworks.
POOM!
Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at December 31, 2015 11:25 PM (jR7Wy)
And I note that about 99%, give or take, of the tweets are calling him a dick.
Posted by: andycanuck at December 31, 2015 11:25 PM (DLIIY)
Posted by: Jinx the Cat at December 31, 2015 11:26 PM (3rMal)
Posted by: Sasquatch the Original trans-Wookie at December 31, 2015 11:26 PM (pJo5f)
Posted by: John Stuart Moop at December 31, 2015 11:26 PM (8CdUx)
Posted by: eman at December 31, 2015 11:27 PM (MQEz6)
duck, and cover..."
-Posted by: John Stuart Moop at December 31, 2015 11:26 PM (8CdUx)
Pessimist.
Posted by: Slapweasel (Cold1),*To Our Sunshine Patriot* at December 31, 2015 11:28 PM (OQ9R7)
Eris!!!!!
So we decided against pants?
Posted by: Bandersnatch, Opus/Bill the Cat 2016 at December 31, 2015 11:28 PM (1xUj/)
Posted by: Mike Hammer"
That guy on the right looks pretty happy, but then, there's a pair of high heels sticking out from under the table where he's sitting.
Posted by: AshevilleRobert at December 31, 2015 11:28 PM (9ltS8)
247 You can see Neil deGrasse Tyson's ego from Uranus!
And I note that about 99%, give or take, of the tweets are calling him a dick.
Posted by: andycanuck at December 31, 2015 11:25 PM (DLIIY)
He's on a roll. Didn't he call a little girl a bitch last week?
Posted by: eman at December 31, 2015 11:28 PM (MQEz6)
Posted by: Ricardo Kill at December 31, 2015 11:28 PM (Lt18i)
Posted by: Buzzion at December 31, 2015 11:28 PM (qKGWz)
I hope so.
Posted by: L, Elle at December 31, 2015 11:29 PM (2x3L+)
Posted by: Trimegistus at December 31, 2015 11:30 PM (k+K+t)
Posted by: Ricardo Kill at December 31, 2015 11:30 PM (Lt18i)
Posted by: L, Elle at December 31, 2015 11:30 PM (2x3L+)
Posted by: Slapweasel (Cold1),*To Our Sunshine Patriot* at December 31, 2015 11:30 PM (OQ9R7)
Posted by: Juan deGrasse Williams at December 31, 2015 11:31 PM (Dwehj)
Posted by: cthulhu at December 31, 2015 11:31 PM (EzgxV)
POOM!
Posted by: All Hail Eris
--------------------
Some, uh, people I know, had the (then) BATF show up because the neighbors thought they were setting off explosives. They were just firing a home made oxyacetelyne cannon. It all ended OK, but with stern admonitions.
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 31, 2015 11:31 PM (J3phO)
Posted by: Sheriff Bart at December 31, 2015 11:31 PM (RU5ki)
Clothes or not, they don't care. Trust me.
Posted by: Leo DiCaprio at December 31, 2015 11:22 PM (H9MG5)
You have experience with both bears and icy water.
Posted by: rickl at December 31, 2015 11:31 PM (sdi6R)
-Posted by: Ricardo Kill at December 31, 2015 11:30 PM (Lt18i)
C'mere. Closer.
No, really. I'm not going to hit you.
Posted by: Slapweasel (Cold1),*To Our Sunshine Patriot* at December 31, 2015 11:32 PM (OQ9R7)
Posted by: BunkerinTheBurbs at December 31, 2015 11:32 PM (bA+CL)
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 31, 2015 11:32 PM (J3phO)
Posted by: L, Elle at December 31, 2015 11:32 PM (2x3L+)
POOM!
Posted by: All Hail Eris"
When I lived out in the countryside, I'd load up the shotgun with #9 bird shot and blast a few into the air.
Where I am now if I did that the HOA would shit themselves.
Posted by: AshevilleRobert at December 31, 2015 11:32 PM (9ltS8)
Posted by: joncelli
--------------
Raises glass to joncelli's Dad. One grumpy old engineer to another.
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 31, 2015 11:24 PM (J3phO)
Thanks Mike. We didn't always get along but he was a good man.
Posted by: joncelli at December 31, 2015 11:32 PM (1FhAQ)
-Posted by: Buzzion at December 31, 2015 11:28 PM (qKGWz)
I thought that was "tradition", at this point.
Posted by: Slapweasel (Cold1),*To Our Sunshine Patriot* at December 31, 2015 11:33 PM (OQ9R7)
Posted by: andycanuck at December 31, 2015 11:34 PM (DLIIY)
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 31, 2015 11:34 PM (J3phO)
Posted by: L, Elle at December 31, 2015 11:34 PM (2x3L+)
Posted by: Slapweasel (Cold1),*To Our Sunshine Patriot* at December 31, 2015 11:34 PM (OQ9R7)
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 31, 2015 11:34 PM (J3phO)
Posted by: andycanuck at December 31, 2015 11:34 PM (DLIIY)
Posted by: Vendette at December 31, 2015 11:35 PM (ZHuTJ)
Is it a double-ended dildo? Asking for myself...
Posted by: Sandra Flook at December 31, 2015 11:35 PM (Dwehj)
To all those who reckon time on the Gregorian calendar - Happy New Year! (FYI: January 1 is astronomically insignificant.)
Incorrect, douchebag. For those who follow the Gregorian calendar, January 1st represents almost exactly the same spot of the Earth in its orbit around the sun ... every year. That is astronomical and that makes it distinguished, i.e. significant.
What a moron.
P.S. We don't use the calendar to reckon time, we use the calendar to reckon dates.
Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at December 31, 2015 11:35 PM (zc3Db)
Happy New Year!
Posted by: rickl at December 31, 2015 11:36 PM (sdi6R)
Difficult parents.
Posted by: L, Elle at December 31, 2015 11:37 PM (2x3L+)
I've Broken The Record
Oh, let, let the time fly,
what can I do?
The night is a magnet for problems
and you aren't here.
Why do I attract fools,
who fight over who's going to get me drunk?
But when a woman is alone she is weak before everything,
She can't say 'no.'
I've made it for three nights in a row,
I broke the record.
The third night without you
and I don't know who I am.
I haven't refused anything
and I've been given a medal.
They say I'm a miracle woman.
Oh, bravo for me.
Oh, let, let the hours fly by
what can I do to stop them?
I've sworn to spend them all on
getting back at you.
Why do I attract fools,
who fight over who's going to get me drunk?
But when a woman is alone she is weak before everything,
She can't say 'no.'
Ref
4
I've made it for three nights in a row,
I broke the record.
The third night without you
and I don't know who I am.
I haven't refused anything
and I've been given a medal.
They say I'm a miracle woman.
Oh, bravo for me.
Serbian turbo-folk, bitches. As empty as the slivo bottles rolling around on your floorboards......
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Still Accepting Harem Applicants at December 31, 2015 11:37 PM (/33sy)
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 31, 2015 11:24 PM (J3phO)
Another grumpy old engineer raises his glass!
Posted by: bergerbilder at December 31, 2015 11:37 PM (IeXP9)
Posted by: Puddleglum@work, totally not spying, really! at December 31, 2015 11:37 PM (NGd+i)
I was in Cabelas this afternoon & everyone was buying guns. They have four "stations" for filling out the 4473, I've never seen more than two being used at a time. Today, all four were in use & the line snaked back through the store.
Posted by: AltonJackson at December 31, 2015 11:37 PM (KCxzN)
Posted by: Bandersnatch, Opus/Bill the Cat 2016 at December 31, 2015 11:28 PM (1xUj/)
---
Yep. Woke up from my disco nap and realized that adhering to outdated notions of propriety were SO 2015, and I will be true to my pants-optional lifestyle.
So here I am.
Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at December 31, 2015 11:38 PM (jR7Wy)
Posted by: andycanuck
They'll put a stop to that with a tweet hate filter.
Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at December 31, 2015 11:38 PM (FkBIv)
Posted by: andycanuck at December 31, 2015 11:38 PM (DLIIY)
Posted by: chemjeff at December 31, 2015 11:39 PM (uZNvH)
Posted by: L, Elle at December 31, 2015 11:39 PM (2x3L+)
Posted by: eleven at December 31, 2015 11:39 PM (qUNWi)
-Posted by: Vendette at December 31, 2015 11:35 PM (ZHuTJ)
*Raises Glass*
*Taps Screen*
Lost my WWII Grandpa, HARD-ASS *Hero* five years ago.
He was "The Last Grandparent".
Posted by: Slapweasel (Cold1),*To Our Sunshine Patriot* at December 31, 2015 11:39 PM (OQ9R7)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aidcJ1aLrRs
One time when I saw him a few years ago, he said that the movie "The King's Speech" contained a scene that he thought was a perfect visual depiction of the song.
I haven't seen the movie, but it's occurred to me that since the song was released in 1995 and the movie in 2010, it's entirely possible that one of the filmmakers was already familiar with the song and deliberately used it as a model for the scene. In which case Stewart should have gotten some kind of credit or royalties. Or maybe it was just a coincidence; I don't know.
Posted by: rickl at December 31, 2015 11:40 PM (sdi6R)
Posted by: Skip at December 31, 2015 11:40 PM (C1Suc)
Posted by: Trimegistus at December 31, 2015 11:24 PM (k+K+t)
I think those horrific pictures posted online of Jean-Pierre Paul's hand after his fireworks mishap might have had something to do with it, too.
Posted by: Slappy at December 31, 2015 11:40 PM (KS+qL)
Posted by: andycanuck at December 31, 2015 11:40 PM (DLIIY)
Posted by: cthulhu at December 31, 2015 11:40 PM (EzgxV)
Posted by: Molly k. at December 31, 2015 11:41 PM (w/CJV)
Posted by: L, Elle at December 31, 2015 11:41 PM (2x3L+)
Posted by: andycanuck at December 31, 2015 11:38 PM (DLIIY)
The Julian calendar had leap years. It just had too many of them. The difference in the Gregorian calendar is that leap years are skipped every century (except for every 4th century). That's the only difference between the Julian and Gregorian calendar (and the extra days skipped when people switched over).
Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at December 31, 2015 11:41 PM (zc3Db)
Posted by: Neil deDouche Tyson-Chicken at December 31, 2015 11:41 PM (Dwehj)
Posted by: Brian in BC at December 31, 2015 11:09 PM (uVM+R)
I think your math may be off. I can drink three beers with no problem.
If I drank a whole full-sized bottle of champagne, I would be puking my guts out, and then I could look forward to the bedpans.
Sorry about that...I honestly find champagne like drinking water. I love it but it isn't the buzz that keeps me coming back.
Posted by: Brian in BC at December 31, 2015 11:42 PM (uVM+R)
Posted by: Vendette at December 31, 2015 11:42 PM (ZHuTJ)
I raise my glass of bourbon to your Dad.
Dad2 (step, but I call him Dad too - he did his best to raise me) has been gone 16 years, i think to the day as of tomorrow, in fact.
He's buried right across the street, and I visit often. In fact, I was there today.
Be strong. It'll always hurt. But it gets easier with time...
Posted by: Chi at December 31, 2015 11:42 PM (Qb4mU)
Posted by: IC at December 31, 2015 11:42 PM (+3RH+)
Don't know why you all find NDG so upsetting?
Myself, I think he's quite entertaining, playing that electronic keyboard in the recent Wal Mart ads.
Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX
Posted by: Jim at December 31, 2015 11:42 PM (McRlu)
Hehehehe.....
Awe.
Posted by: Ricardo Kill at December 31, 2015 11:43 PM (P4PR2)
Posted by: Jake at December 31, 2015 11:43 PM (HLUeE)
Posted by: Puddleglum@work, totally not spying, really! at December 31, 2015 11:37 PM (NGd+i)
You're not really going out on a limb with that statement.
Posted by: Slappy at December 31, 2015 11:43 PM (KS+qL)
Posted by: Mike Hammer"
Looks like I'm gonna have ta skip this one. Next one for sure though.
Posted by: AshevilleRobert at December 31, 2015 11:43 PM (9ltS8)
Posted by: Donna &&&&V. (Brandishing ampersands) at December 31, 2015 11:43 PM (P8951)
-Posted by: L, Elle at December 31, 2015 11:41 PM (2x3L+)
Posting on a website probably isn't your first priority.
Get some sleep, darlin'!
Posted by: Slapweasel (Cold1),*To Our Sunshine Patriot* at December 31, 2015 11:43 PM (OQ9R7)
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 31, 2015 11:43 PM (J3phO)
Info about Joffen
http://tinyurl.com/k8nfu93
Posted by: chemjeff at December 31, 2015 11:39 PM (uZNvH)
Glad that's still up, though it was supposed to expire in a year. If anyone hasn't signed the guestbook.....
Posted by: cthulhu at December 31, 2015 11:43 PM (EzgxV)
Posted by: andycanuck at December 31, 2015 11:44 PM (DLIIY)
Posted by: L, Elle at December 31, 2015 11:39 PM
I know, L. I wasn't sure if I should be heartened by people waking up, or concerned that I should run back and grab another couple of boxes of ammo. So I was & I did.
Posted by: AltonJackson at December 31, 2015 11:44 PM (KCxzN)
Posted by: andycanuck at December 31, 2015 11:45 PM (DLIIY)
Posted by: cthulhu at December 31, 2015 11:43 PM (EzgxV)
At this point, probably contact the bank.
Posted by: Vendette at December 31, 2015 11:45 PM (ZHuTJ)
Posted by: Puddleglum@work, totally not spying, really! at December 31, 2015 11:45 PM (NGd+i)
Try to live up to the motto I embraced...
Give all you can,
all you can give.
Love and regards,
Sven
Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at December 31, 2015 11:45 PM (g8Hfr)
daughter Isabelle would be appreciated by the family, donations in
Canada can be made by emailing Sarah at inmemoryofjohn81@gmail.com or in
United States at any First Niagara Branch by giving full name of
Isabelle Gloria Stevens."
Posted by: cthulhu at December 31, 2015 11:46 PM (EzgxV)
Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at December 31, 2015 11:46 PM (g8Hfr)
Posted by: Skip at December 31, 2015 11:46 PM (C1Suc)
The sidereal year is one orbit with respect to an inertial frame (well technically one in free fall in the Galactic field with the center of mass of the solar system).
A sidereal (at the current time range, or "epoch" as they dub it) year is slightly longer than a tropical year by about 24.5 minutes.
There is also an orbital precession of the earth's ellipse that changes the sidereal year (and tropical year) slightly -- that's that "epoch" business they use.
Posted by: Christopher Walken at December 31, 2015 11:47 PM (dvuhZ)
Posted by: Brian in BC at December 31, 2015 11:09 PM (uVM+R)
I think your math may be off. I can drink three beers with no problem.
If I drank a whole full-sized bottle of champagne, I would be puking my guts out, and then I could look forward to the bedpans.
Sorry about that...I honestly find champagne like drinking water. I love it but it isn't the buzz that keeps me coming back.
Posted by: Brian in BC at December 31, 2015 11:42 PM (uVM+R)
Heh. Your autocucumber corrected my "bedspins" to "bedpans".
I had to go back to my comment to make sure I didn't really say that.
Posted by: rickl at December 31, 2015 11:47 PM (sdi6R)
Posted by: AshevilleRobert
--------------------
I haven;t checked the dates, seems like perhaps March. Don't recall. I'll buy something in your stead.
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 31, 2015 11:47 PM (Z58Xa)
Posted by: Slapweasel (Cold1),*To Our Sunshine Patriot* at December 31, 2015 11:47 PM (OQ9R7)
You know who does use Gregorian? Astronomers, that's who! But I guess an IMAX theater manager might not know that.
Posted by: Trimegistus at December 31, 2015 11:47 PM (k+K+t)
Posted by: IC at December 31, 2015 11:47 PM (+3RH+)
Posted by: andycanuck at December 31, 2015 11:47 PM (DLIIY)
Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at December 31, 2015 11:47 PM (g8Hfr)
Posted by: Skip at December 31, 2015 11:46 PM
-----
Same here. What a shitty, horrible year.
Posted by: L, Elle at December 31, 2015 11:48 PM (2x3L+)
Posted by: blaster at December 31, 2015 11:48 PM (zEhEm)
daughter Isabelle would be appreciated by the family, donations in
Canada can be made by emailing Sarah at inmemoryofjohn81@gmail.com or in
United States at any First Niagara Branch by giving full name of
Isabelle Gloria Stevens."
At this point, I'd say contact First Niagara Bank.
Posted by: Vendette at December 31, 2015 11:48 PM (ZHuTJ)
Heh. Your autocucumber corrected my "bedspins" to "bedpans".
I had to go back to my comment to make sure I didn't really say that.
Too funny...I read that twice and did a bit of a head-scratch!
Posted by: Brian in BC at December 31, 2015 11:48 PM (uVM+R)
I had just looked it all up a few days ago (because I had a few questions about Eastern orthodox dates and wanted to get the straight info). I was really surprised by the other stuff that I found out (that I had never known about) and didn't realize how much of a mess dates from a few hundred years ago were (we only changed to the Gregorian calendar in 1752!). I had ended up on a geneology website that was explaining why looking for dates in the past is such a hassle. Interesting stuff. And the major day that the church was concerned with seems to have been the Spring equinox (which is relatively easy to measure and identify) that had gotten away in the Julian calendar by the 16th century, when Pope Gregory helped set things straight.
Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at December 31, 2015 11:48 PM (zc3Db)
Posted by: Puddleglum@work, totally not spying, really! at December 31, 2015 11:48 PM (NGd+i)
Posted by: L, Elle at December 31, 2015 11:49 PM (2x3L+)
Well, at least there's a weekend.
Posted by: Ricardo Kill at December 31, 2015 11:50 PM (iTsJP)
and to you....
If Neil De Grasse High Tyson thinks cosmically Jan 1 doesn't matter he must cry kittens knowing to 99.975% of mankind his bailiwick is as timely as Dinosaur husbandry....
Happy New Year Progs....
mankind marches on despite you.
Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at December 31, 2015 11:50 PM (g8Hfr)
They are not people of the gun, not sure the 'why' they are gung ho now.
anyway they were asking really good questions like
who can teach us how to clean it?
which is me
but if you don't know anyone you gotta pay an instructor to learn that stuff or youtube it
Posted by: Jake at December 31, 2015 11:50 PM (HLUeE)
Posted by: Moocher's dress designer at December 31, 2015 11:50 PM (Z58Xa)
Posted by: eleven at December 31, 2015 11:50 PM (qUNWi)
Posted by: ernest p. worrell at December 31, 2015 11:50 PM (DLIIY)
None. New Years resolutions are for people who aren't already awesome.
Posted by: DC in River City at December 31, 2015 11:50 PM (aYhx4)
Auto Cucumber?
How ya DOIN!?!
//Vlasic, Mark Vlasic
Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at December 31, 2015 11:51 PM (g8Hfr)
Posted by: joncelli at December 31, 2015 11:51 PM (1FhAQ)
Posted by: chemjeff at December 31, 2015 11:51 PM (uZNvH)
Posted by: Moocher's dress designer at December 31, 2015 11:51 PM (Z58Xa)
Posted by: Christopher Walken at December 31, 2015 11:47 PM (dvuhZ)
Great story. Almost as the good as the one you told in "Pulp Fiction" about a guy keeping a pocket watch in his anus for safe keeping during the Vietnam War.
Posted by: Slappy at December 31, 2015 11:51 PM (KS+qL)
Posted by: joncelli at December 31, 2015 11:32 PM (1FhAQ)
There are two things that I know Pookette got from me:1. She is stubborn AS HELL (I'm not going upstairs and you can't make me, I will defy physics)2. She is a Daddy's Girl without a doubt
I nearly lost my dad due to a car accident this year and I went to pieces. I shudder to think what the real deal is like. May you remember him fondly.
Posted by: pookysgirl at December 31, 2015 11:51 PM (K27gs)
Posted by: Skip at December 31, 2015 11:51 PM (C1Suc)
Posted by: DC in River City at December 31, 2015 11:50 PM (aYhx4)
And so your New Year's resolutions are...?
Posted by: chemjeff at December 31, 2015 11:52 PM (uZNvH)
Posted by: Harry Paratestes at December 31, 2015 11:52 PM (AkOaV)
Posted by: Slapweasel (Cold1),*To Our Sunshine Patriot* at December 31, 2015 11:52 PM (OQ9R7)
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 31, 2015 11:52 PM (Z58Xa)
Posted by: Vendette at December 31, 2015 11:52 PM (ZHuTJ)
Posted by: chemjeff at December 31, 2015 11:52 PM (uZNvH)
Posted by: Josephistan at December 31, 2015 11:52 PM (7qAYi)
Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at December 31, 2015 11:52 PM (g8Hfr)
Bourbon empty.
Bottle is downstairs.
Decisions.
Yeah, I might miss the actual moment.
Happy New Year Horde!
Posted by: Bandersnatch, Opus/Bill the Cat 2016 at December 31, 2015 11:52 PM (1xUj/)
Posted by: CaliGirl at December 31, 2015 11:52 PM (egOGm)
Posted by: rickl at December 31, 2015 11:53 PM (sdi6R)
Posted by: phoenixgirl, i was born a rebel at December 31, 2015 11:53 PM (0O7c5)
Posted by: eleven at December 31, 2015 11:53 PM (qUNWi)
Posted by: Country Singer at December 31, 2015 11:53 PM (GUBah)
Posted by: rickl at December 31, 2015 11:53 PM (sdi6R)
May our Republic survive the final year of the Constitutional shredding Obamanation.
Posted by: RickZ at December 31, 2015 11:53 PM (A5RGQ)
Posted by: Skip at December 31, 2015 11:53 PM (C1Suc)
Posted by: eleven at December 31, 2015 11:53 PM (qUNWi)
Posted by: AltonJackson at December 31, 2015 11:53 PM (KCxzN)
Posted by: pookysgirl
------------------
Sucks.
Happened to me when I was 19.
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 31, 2015 11:54 PM (Z58Xa)
Posted by: Harry Paratestes at December 31, 2015 11:54 PM (AkOaV)
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 31, 2015 11:54 PM (Z58Xa)
Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at December 31, 2015 11:54 PM (jR7Wy)
Posted by: Josephistan at December 31, 2015 11:52 PM (7qAYi)
He must hate the Big Bang Theory, too - the brainchild of Father George LeMaitre, science advisor to the Vatican.
Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at December 31, 2015 11:54 PM (zc3Db)
Posted by: PabloD at December 31, 2015 11:55 PM (PR4oB)
A proper year, to keep in sync with the seasons, has to take into account the precession of earth's axis, and that is observed as the position of the sun in the sky, roughly. So the tropical year is based on that, and not one actual complete orbit in inertial space.
And even that latter is tricky to pin down just what you mean when the orbital perihelion is also precessing. The earth's orbit is close enough to circular that that is a tiny correction, but it adds up over the long term.
Posted by: publius (not Breitbart publius) at December 31, 2015 11:55 PM (dvuhZ)
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 31, 2015 11:55 PM (Z58Xa)
Posted by: AltonJackson at December 31, 2015 11:55 PM (KCxzN)
But first you will blow me.
Posted by: eleven at December 31, 2015 11:53 PM (qUNWi)
Let me guess. You're either Bill Clinton, Mel Gibson, or Bill Cosby, right?
Posted by: Slappy at December 31, 2015 11:55 PM (KS+qL)
Posted by: Jake at December 31, 2015 11:55 PM (HLUeE)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aidcJ1aLrRs
Posted by: rickl at December 31, 2015 11:55 PM (sdi6R)
i don't think i will make it, so I am going to bed
good night all
Posted by: chemjeff at December 31, 2015 11:55 PM (uZNvH)
Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at December 31, 2015 11:56 PM (jR7Wy)
Posted by: Puddleglum@work, totally not spying, really! at December 31, 2015 11:56 PM (NGd+i)
Oui oui, here in Butte we will launch the mayor at Our Lady of the Rockies to celebrate....
Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at December 31, 2015 11:56 PM (g8Hfr)
You're welcome, infidel dog.
Posted by: ahmed the clock-sucker at December 31, 2015 11:56 PM (DLIIY)
Posted by: rickl at December 31, 2015 11:56 PM (sdi6R)
lots of time
Posted by: Jake
----------------
On the other hand, in Australia...
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at December 31, 2015 11:57 PM (Z58Xa)
352
Oh that reminds me, another resolution, to take a gun safety class
Posted by: chemjeff at December 31, 2015 11:51 PM (uZNvH)
If I might recommend another, complementary one -- put 2,000 rounds downrange afterwards -- 'cause then, you'll not only be safe, you'll be practiced.
Posted by: cthulhu at December 31, 2015 11:57 PM (EzgxV)
I consider this place a real blessing in my life.
Fuck Off 2015, and good riddance!
*sorry if I dragged the vibe down mentioning Joffen.
Posted by: Chi at December 31, 2015 11:57 PM (Qb4mU)
In 2016 I aim to be more passive....
nobody will see it.
Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at December 31, 2015 11:57 PM (g8Hfr)
Happy New Year you guys!
One yucky year behind us. Thank God for that.
Posted by: L, Elle at December 31, 2015 11:57 PM (2x3L+)
Posted by: Josephistan at December 31, 2015 11:52 PM (7qAYi)
He must hate the Big Bang Theory, too - the brainchild of Father George LeMaitre, science advisor to the Vatican.
Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair
He must also hate the laws of heredity, discovered by Bavarian monk Gregor Mendel.
Posted by: Prince Ludwig the #Problematic at December 31, 2015 11:57 PM (/FOB4)
Posted by: Dr. Rumack at December 31, 2015 11:58 PM (H9MG5)
Posted by: Puddleglum@work, totally not spying, really! at December 31, 2015 11:58 PM (NGd+i)
Posted by: Skip at December 31, 2015 11:58 PM (C1Suc)
Posted by: andycanuck at December 31, 2015 11:59 PM (DLIIY)
Posted by: Barack Obama at December 31, 2015 11:59 PM (oFzGS)
Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at December 31, 2015 11:59 PM (g8Hfr)
Posted by: Puddleglum@work, totally not spying, really! at December 31, 2015 11:58 PM (NGd+i)
It's still not 2016 yet according to Pixy.
Posted by: rickl at December 31, 2015 11:59 PM (sdi6R)
First post of 2016???
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at December 31, 2015 11:59 PM (uRmWf)
Posted by: Skip at December 31, 2015 11:59 PM (C1Suc)
Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at December 31, 2015 11:59 PM (g8Hfr)
Posted by: Harry Paratestes at December 31, 2015 11:59 PM (AkOaV)
Posted by: AltonJackson at December 31, 2015 11:59 PM (KCxzN)
Posted by: CDR M at December 31, 2015 11:59 PM (SCx0h)
Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at December 31, 2015 11:59 PM (g8Hfr)
I've been lurking and coming to this last outpost of sanity since 2004, it truly is the best there is because of the commenters.
Happy New Year!!
Posted by: Kreplach at January 01, 2016 12:00 AM (WVvzl)
Posted by: L, Elle at January 01, 2016 12:00 AM (2x3L+)
Posted by: Barack Obama at January 01, 2016 12:00 AM (oFzGS)
Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at January 01, 2016 12:00 AM (g8Hfr)
*waits expectantly*
Wooohooo! Fappy New Year Horde!
And fuck you, 2015!
Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at December 31, 2015 11:54 PM (jR7Wy)
You lucky bastard! You've escaped from the shithole that was 2015. Not all of us are as fortunate.
Posted by: cthulhu at January 01, 2016 12:00 AM (EzgxV)
Try again. Clock is stuck at 11:59???
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at January 01, 2016 12:00 AM (uRmWf)
Posted by: CDR M at January 01, 2016 12:00 AM (SCx0h)
Posted by: Skip at January 01, 2016 12:00 AM (C1Suc)
Posted by: Barack Obama at January 01, 2016 12:00 AM (oFzGS)
Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at January 01, 2016 12:00 AM (g8Hfr)
Posted by: Jim at January 01, 2016 12:00 AM (McRlu)
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at January 01, 2016 12:01 AM (uRmWf)
Posted by: joncelli at January 01, 2016 12:01 AM (1FhAQ)
Posted by: CDR M at January 01, 2016 12:01 AM (SCx0h)
Posted by: DC in River City at January 01, 2016 12:01 AM (aYhx4)
Posted by: Skip at January 01, 2016 12:01 AM (C1Suc)
Posted by: eman at January 01, 2016 12:02 AM (MQEz6)
------
Nailed it for once. I guess the hamsters got drunk.
Posted by: L, Elle at January 01, 2016 12:02 AM (2x3L+)
Posted by: CDR M at January 01, 2016 12:02 AM (SCx0h)
Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at January 01, 2016 12:02 AM (jR7Wy)
Posted by: joncelli at January 01, 2016 12:02 AM (1FhAQ)
Posted by: CDR M at January 01, 2016 12:01 AM (SCx0h)
I took hormones to make my ball drop when I was 12.
Made my left boob grow a bit. Perfect for junior high school gym class.
At least it made my schvantz man-sized.
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at January 01, 2016 12:02 AM (uRmWf)
NBC's balls refused to drop after they saw Anderson Cooper and Kathy Griffin)th)? swap spit over at Commie News Network...
talk about curdling in the new year...
I've been made chaste for a decade I fear.
Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at January 01, 2016 12:02 AM (g8Hfr)
You know that last day in office is gonna be a doozy.
Posted by: CDR M at January 01, 2016 12:02 AM (SCx0h)
Posted by: L, Elle at January 01, 2016 12:03 AM (2x3L+)
Posted by: AoSHQ Referee at January 01, 2016 12:03 AM (sdi6R)
Posted by: Splunge at January 01, 2016 12:03 AM (iMxBJ)
Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX
Posted by: Jim at January 01, 2016 12:00 AM (McRlu)
If you have the NHL Network, you can watch the Czechs on Saturday.
Posted by: Vendette at January 01, 2016 12:03 AM (ZHuTJ)
Posted by: eleven at January 01, 2016 12:03 AM (qUNWi)
Posted by: Barack Obama at January 01, 2016 12:03 AM (oFzGS)
Happy New Year, Horde!
*sips bourbon*, waiting for 12:00 CST in 'bout an hour, for the champagne toast.
Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX
Posted by: Jim at January 01, 2016 12:04 AM (McRlu)
Posted by: IC at January 01, 2016 12:04 AM (+3RH+)
Posted by: eleven at January 01, 2016 12:04 AM (qUNWi)
Posted by: Bandersnatch, Opus/Bill the Cat 2016 at January 01, 2016 12:04 AM (1xUj/)
Posted by: AshevilleRobert at January 01, 2016 12:05 AM (9ltS8)
Posted by: Mr. alu Fods at January 01, 2016 12:05 AM (dVk8Y)
437 Posted by: eman at January 01, 2016 12:02 AM (MQEz6)
You know that last day in office is gonna be a doozy.
Posted by: CDR M at January 01, 2016 12:02 AM (SCx0h)
Yes, we must steady ourselves.
Posted by: eman at January 01, 2016 12:05 AM (MQEz6)
Posted by: Skip at January 01, 2016 12:05 AM (C1Suc)
Posted by: joncelli at January 01, 2016 12:05 AM (1FhAQ)
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at January 01, 2016 12:05 AM (Z58Xa)
Way too many balls dropping on NBC if you know what I mean.
Posted by: Brian in BC at January 01, 2016 12:06 AM (uVM+R)
Siht, I'm worried about Friday afternoon. TFG does his "wet-work" on Fridays when he thinks no one is watching & it's 01JAN16; I'm afraid that president historic first will pull something"historic"...
Posted by: AltonJackson at January 01, 2016 12:06 AM (KCxzN)
Posted by: Obama the Guardian at January 01, 2016 12:06 AM (FkBIv)
Is it the Year of the Cat now?
Posted by: Bandersnatch, Opus/Bill the Cat 2016 at January 01, 2016 12:04 AM (1xUj/)
Why yes, yes it is.
Posted by: Mark Steyn at January 01, 2016 12:06 AM (sdi6R)
Posted by: eman at January 01, 2016 12:06 AM (MQEz6)
*quaffs Spice, creates tesseract, pulls Cooth into 2016*
Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at January 01, 2016 12:02 AM (jR7Wy)
Natively multi-dimensional -- requires fixed timeline to interact at all (otherwise permanent lurking)....I'll get there eventually.
Posted by: cthulhu at January 01, 2016 12:06 AM (EzgxV)
Posted by: BeckoningChasm at January 01, 2016 12:07 AM (wZtOw)
Posted by: Country Singer at January 01, 2016 12:07 AM (GUBah)
Posted by: Elinor, Who Usually Looks Lurkily at January 01, 2016 12:08 AM (NqQAS)
Me too. My husband and I have the flu. I doubt we will make it.
Posted by: CaliGirl at January 01, 2016 12:08 AM (egOGm)
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at January 01, 2016 12:08 AM (Z58Xa)
Posted by: Brian Williams at January 01, 2016 12:08 AM (H9MG5)
Posted by: eleven at January 01, 2016 12:08 AM (qUNWi)
Posted by: AltonJackson at January 01, 2016 12:08 AM (KCxzN)
Posted by: John Oliver, Euro-git at January 01, 2016 12:08 AM (+ik1L)
Posted by: CMU VET at January 01, 2016 12:08 AM (ejB0r)
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at January 01, 2016 12:09 AM (uRmWf)
Posted by: eleven at January 01, 2016 12:09 AM (qUNWi)
Posted by: Country Singer at January 01, 2016 12:09 AM (GUBah)
Posted by: AltonJackson at January 01, 2016 12:08 AM (KCxzN)
does that mean he's like putin?
http://tinyurl.com/he9vup7
Posted by: Harry Paratestes at January 01, 2016 12:09 AM (AkOaV)
Posted by: Mike Hammer
They will lift your spirits, until you realize that most are illegals who are smiling because they are anticipating all the nice things I'll do for them in 2016. At your expense.
Posted by: Barack Obama at January 01, 2016 12:09 AM (oFzGS)
She's gay/bi/curious/trans LBGTABCXYZQWERTY/Irish isn't she?
Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at January 01, 2016 12:10 AM (g8Hfr)
463 eman at January 01, 2016 12:06 AM (MQEz6)
Me too. My husband and I have the flu. I doubt we will make it.
Posted by: CaliGirl at January 01, 2016 12:08 AM (egOGm)
Oh, sorry you are ill. I hope you both get better soon.
Posted by: eman at January 01, 2016 12:10 AM (MQEz6)
Posted by: IC at January 01, 2016 12:10 AM (+3RH+)
Okay, kids. Early flight to Wisconsin.
The countdown resumes on Tuesday next.
Happy New Year and keep on keeping it IS-real!!!
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at January 01, 2016 12:10 AM (uRmWf)
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at January 01, 2016 12:09 AM (uRmWf)
Very outspoken conservative/libertarian. He was on Fox Business pretty regularly railing against libs.
Posted by: Country Singer at January 01, 2016 12:10 AM (GUBah)
Posted by: Harry Paratestes at January 01, 2016 12:10 AM (AkOaV)
---
Are there any fresh new hell clauses of obamacare going into effect tomorrow?
Posted by: Methos at January 01, 2016 12:10 AM (ZbV+0)
Posted by: 10,000 mexicans with leaf blowers at January 01, 2016 12:11 AM (9YDUz)
Posted by: eleven at January 01, 2016 12:12 AM (qUNWi)
Posted by: Country Singer
----------------
I'm Watters, and this is my world.
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at January 01, 2016 12:12 AM (Z58Xa)
475 466 Posted by: eleven at January 01, 2016 12:08 AM (qUNWi)
She's gay/bi/curious/trans LBGTABCXYZQWERTY/Irish isn't she?
Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at January 01, 2016 12:10 AM (g8Hfr)
She is smart enough to know she will never go higher than the D list and has settled into a niche she can pump for all its got.
It's a gig.
Posted by: eman at January 01, 2016 12:12 AM (MQEz6)
We are on the mend, thank you.
Posted by: CaliGirl at January 01, 2016 12:13 AM (egOGm)
Thanx, sailor! XOXOXOXO
Posted by: shep smith at January 01, 2016 12:13 AM (DLIIY)
Executive Q: "We're the most powerful, informed, and possibly to-be most wealthy organization in the world. What should we do to cap off a year?"
Executive A: "SJW troll with a vengeance on national television."
What a time to be alive.
Posted by: 0302 at January 01, 2016 12:14 AM (hDDgx)
I think she was sorta maybe almost a C-lister back in was it '96?
Man I am so looking forward to not knowing this stuff or these people when I finally go into that post-stroke coma.
Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at January 01, 2016 12:14 AM (g8Hfr)
Oh Shempf we'll always have Playgirl...
//Village People Indian
Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at January 01, 2016 12:15 AM (g8Hfr)
Posted by: Bandersnatch, Opus/Bill the Cat 2016 at January 01, 2016 12:15 AM (1xUj/)
Posted by: IC at January 01, 2016 12:15 AM (+3RH+)
Love to you all Republicans and Democrats alike.
Secular and religious, bad ass and pushover.
We have this one precious life to live, be joyful and express your love for your fellow man kind.
If you have kids hug them tight.
Posted by: Max Power at January 01, 2016 12:16 AM (QCc6B)
Posted by: junior at January 01, 2016 12:17 AM (aIiFP)
so Barack Obama and a Dick walk into a bar bartender says "hey buddy what are YOU having?"
Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at January 01, 2016 12:18 AM (g8Hfr)
I hope you are all blessed with all you need, a lot of what you want, and as little pain as possible. The years have been hard, we could all use a break.
Thank you Ace and Maet, and the cobs, for a year of great posts, witty banter, and helping to keep us sane in the fray. You are good people.
Posted by: Moki at January 01, 2016 12:18 AM (7q2ch)
Hmmm..
Posted by: Kreplach at January 01, 2016 12:18 AM (WVvzl)
Posted by: Puddleglum@work, totally not spying, really! at January 01, 2016 12:19 AM (NGd+i)
Posted by: Barack Obama at January 01, 2016 12:19 AM (oFzGS)
Now, back to the dick jokes.
Posted by: Bandersnatch
------------------
OK...
Wearing Crocs is like getting a blow job from a dude.
It feels good until you look down and realize that you're gay.
Posted by: Chi at January 01, 2016 12:20 AM (Qb4mU)
Posted by: Elisabeth G. Wolfe at January 01, 2016 12:21 AM (iuQS7)
That was funny.
Posted by: CaliGirl at January 01, 2016 12:21 AM (egOGm)
Maybe she has a twin if my Bing searches are any indication.
Er. If my friend's searches are any indication.
So he tells me.
So she tells me.
Posted by: andycanuck at January 01, 2016 12:21 AM (DLIIY)
Posted by: Brian in BC at December 31, 2015 11:09 PM (uVM+R)
I think the math problem is this:
One glass of champagne has as much alcohol as three beers.
One whole bottle of champagne = trouble.
Posted by: Mark Steyn at January 01, 2016 12:21 AM (sdi6R)
Posted by: Clark Griswold at January 01, 2016 12:21 AM (NqQAS)
498 Is that Thai Prime Minister single?
Posted by: Puddleglum@work, totally not spying, really! at January 01, 2016 12:19 AM (NGd+i)
I think he is, but you had better hurry.
Posted by: eman at January 01, 2016 12:22 AM (MQEz6)
http://preview.tinyurl.com/q8solqw
NSFW
Posted by: The Resolved Hat at January 01, 2016 12:22 AM (vBeA5)
Posted by: andycanuck at January 01, 2016 12:23 AM (DLIIY)
Posted by: Puddleglum@work, totally not spying, really! at January 01, 2016 12:23 AM (NGd+i)
http://preview.tinyurl.com/q8solqw
NSFW
Posted by: The Resolved Hat at January 01, 2016 12:22 AM (vBeA5)
Dayum. Why can't we have smoking hot politicians?
Posted by: joncelli at January 01, 2016 12:24 AM (1FhAQ)
Miller, The Champagne of bottled beers.
Posted by: Mike Hammer, etc., etc. at January 01, 2016 12:24 AM (Z58Xa)
Posted by: Northernlurker, feeling grumpy today at January 01, 2016 12:24 AM (4rzL1)
Posted by: Puddleglum@work, totally not spying, really! at January 01, 2016 12:25 AM (NGd+i)
This is my New Year's resolution:
When the Hildabeast begins to yell and shout,
Through the window I would like to throw her out,
But I resolve not to do it; here is why:
I'm afraid of hitting someone passing by.
Posted by: Elisabeth G. Wolfe at January 01, 2016 12:25 AM (iuQS7)
Posted by: SMFH at January 01, 2016 12:25 AM (lQg7m)
491 OK, we've all said the things that one says.
Now, back to the dick jokes.
Posted by: Bandersnatch
------------------
OK...
Wearing Crocs is like getting a blow job from a dude.
It feels good until you look down and realize that you're gay.
Posted by: Chi at January 01, 2016 12:20 AM (Qb4mU)
....and then there's "wearing the fiancee's Crocs because they're conveniently near the door in order to put the last of the fiancee's messes outside because I'm whupped" thing.... [and for those who haven't met us, she's taller than I am and we wear the same shoe size].
Posted by: cthulhu at January 01, 2016 12:25 AM (EzgxV)
Posted by: Chi at January 01, 2016 12:25 AM (Qb4mU)
Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at January 01, 2016 12:25 AM (g8Hfr)
Get a load of these meat curtains, sailor!
*hic*
Posted by: Hillary! at January 01, 2016 12:26 AM (1xUj/)
513 506: Heh! Fuck you.
Posted by: Puddleglum@work, totally not spying, really! at January 01, 2016 12:25 AM (NGd+i)
Potty mouth.
Posted by: eman at January 01, 2016 12:26 AM (MQEz6)
Day 1:
http://preview.tinyurl.com/ztpoeg7
http://preview.tinyurl.com/j6djv76
http://preview.tinyurl.com/hv4vzfh
Day 2:
http://preview.tinyurl.com/jb8taea
http://preview.tinyurl.com/jhc7rxj
NSFW
Posted by: 政治的な帽子 at January 01, 2016 12:26 AM (vBeA5)
She's single ladies....
//Beijing Billy
Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at January 01, 2016 12:27 AM (g8Hfr)
Posted by: Puddleglum@work, totally not spying, really! at January 01, 2016 12:27 AM (NGd+i)
Happy New Year, good people.
Not going to say good riddance to 2015, it's one less year on the planet for me and mine.
Older you get, the clearer that becomes.
No resolution save the one--to live one more year.
Posted by: irongrampa at January 01, 2016 12:27 AM (jeCnD)
519 Dayum. Why can't we have smoking hot politicians?
Get a load of these meat curtains, sailor!
*hic*
Posted by: Hillary! at January 01, 2016 12:26 AM (1xUj/)
One does not simply stroll into Mordor.
Posted by: eman at January 01, 2016 12:28 AM (MQEz6)
Posted by: All Hail Eris, Literate Savage at January 01, 2016 12:28 AM (jR7Wy)
Posted by: Barack Obama at January 01, 2016 12:29 AM (oFzGS)
523 520: Is poopy head more exceptable?
Posted by: Puddleglum@work, totally not spying, really! at January 01, 2016 12:27 AM (NGd+i)
Fuck yeah it is.
Posted by: eman at January 01, 2016 12:29 AM (MQEz6)
Posted by: andycanuck at January 01, 2016 12:23 AM (DLIIY)
Oops. That sock was relevant at #457.
Posted by: rickl at January 01, 2016 12:30 AM (sdi6R)
Posted by: Gouveneur Morris at January 01, 2016 12:30 AM (PHxng)
--------------
Nah. He'd have to break away from his vacation to do that. And those are almost as important to him as his golf games.
Posted by: junior at January 01, 2016 12:31 AM (aIiFP)
Posted by: andycanuck at January 01, 2016 12:23 AM (DLIIY)<<<
DON'T SOCK REAL PEOPLE!?!?!
HWHAT IS THIS PLACE COMING TO!?!?!
Posted by: Al Sharpton at January 01, 2016 12:31 AM (H9MG5)
Posted by: cthulhu at January 01, 2016 12:25 AM (EzgxV)
NTTAWWT
Posted by: Harry Paratestes at January 01, 2016 12:31 AM (AkOaV)
Posted by: AltonJackson at January 01, 2016 12:32 AM (KCxzN)
Posted by: andycanuck at January 01, 2016 12:32 AM (DLIIY)
Posted by: John Boehner at January 01, 2016 12:32 AM (AkOaV)
DAY-UM STRAIGHT CRACKA!
//Michelle "Worf" Obama
Posted by: Sven S Blade a.k.a. El Assassin@sven10077 at January 01, 2016 12:32 AM (g8Hfr)
I wear my work boots with shorts because they're by the door. I run to the store and get some weird looks.
Posted by: CaliGirl at January 01, 2016 12:33 AM (egOGm)
HWHAT IS THIS PLACE COMING TO!?!?!
Posted by: Al Sharpton
Yeah, it's getting weird around here.
Posted by: Caitlyn Jenner at January 01, 2016 12:33 AM (/FOB4)
Posted by: andycanuck at January 01, 2016 12:34 AM (DLIIY)
Posted by: Twilight Zone at January 01, 2016 12:34 AM (VdICR)
HWHAT IS THIS PLACE COMING TO!?!?!
Posted by: Al Sharpton
Yeah, it's getting weird around here.
Posted by: Caitlyn Jenner at January 01, 2016 12:33 AM (/FOB4)
Yeah! *hic*
::stumbles, falls over. Gets up, falls over again. Takes a sip of someones rum and coke::
Posted by: Hillary Clinton at January 01, 2016 12:34 AM (AkOaV)
Posted by: eman at January 01, 2016 12:35 AM (MQEz6)
Posted by: Harry Paratestes at January 01, 2016 12:35 AM (AkOaV)
Posted by: BourbonChicken at January 01, 2016 12:35 AM (VdICR)
So, not a real person.
Posted by: Barack Obama at January 01, 2016 12:36 AM (oFzGS)
Posted by: lindafell de spair at January 01, 2016 12:36 AM (xVgrA)
Posted by: andycanuck at January 01, 2016 12:36 AM (DLIIY)
Wow. These old geezers were getting DOWN! No doubt we're coming back here next year.
Happy New Year Morons!
Hail to the blue hairs!
Posted by: weirdflunkyonatablet at January 01, 2016 12:36 AM (/GpW6)
Dayum. Why can't we have smoking hot politicians?
Posted by: joncelli at January 01, 2016 12:24 AM (1FhAQ)
There was another smoking hot Russian politician who got killed a couple of weeks ago. It was apparently a murder-suicide by her husband.
Posted by: rickl at January 01, 2016 12:37 AM (sdi6R)
Posted by: Stefoknee Wolscht at January 01, 2016 12:38 AM (oFzGS)
Who are these horrible, horrible musical acts???
Posted by: Kreplach at January 01, 2016 12:38 AM (WVvzl)
Posted by: President for Life Barrack Obama at January 01, 2016 12:38 AM (vBeA5)
Posted by: andycanuck at January 01, 2016 12:38 AM (DLIIY)
>>>Don't sock real people, dude. (Unless you really are Mark; and if you are, how about giving us some show tunes?)
Posted by: andycanuck at January 01, 2016 12:23 AM (DLIIY)<<<
DON'T SOCK REAL PEOPLE!?!?!
HWHAT IS THIS PLACE COMING TO!?!?!
Posted by: Al Sharpton at January 01, 2016 12:31 AM (H9MG5)
Al Sharpton isn't a Reel Pimple.
Posted by: Opus at January 01, 2016 12:38 AM (EzgxV)
Posted by: eman at January 01, 2016 12:35 AM (MQEz6)
Grape Flavor-ade
Posted by: President for Life Barrack Obama at January 01, 2016 12:39 AM (vBeA5)
Posted by: Roman Polanski at January 01, 2016 12:39 AM (1xUj/)
549 Spending the night at a hotel. Just left the new years party with a bunch of blue hairs. Let me tell you people something, the blue hairs are freaking rocking it out!
Wow. These old geezers were getting DOWN! No doubt we're coming back here next year.
Happy New Year Morons!
Hail to the blue hairs!
Posted by: weirdflunkyonatablet at January 01, 2016 12:36 AM (/GpW6)
Out go the dentures, off go the Depends, and it's on, baby!
Posted by: eman at January 01, 2016 12:39 AM (MQEz6)
Posted by: Larry North Correia at January 01, 2016 12:40 AM (oFzGS)
Posted by: andycanuck at January 01, 2016 12:40 AM (DLIIY)
What are we going to drink on January 21, 2017?
Posted by: eman at January 01, 2016 12:35 AM (MQEz6)
Champagne, cyanide, or tears.
Posted by: cthulhu at January 01, 2016 12:40 AM (EzgxV)
Posted by: Liawatha Warren at January 01, 2016 12:40 AM (/FOB4)
SMFH, you still have 15 minutes 'til 2016. I hope your party is going well. Play some En Vogue for me... and say "Hi" to K.
If I have to make a resolution, I guess it would be: be less of a dick.
Well see how that works out...
Posted by: Chi at January 01, 2016 12:40 AM (Qb4mU)
Posted by: Larry North Correia at January 01, 2016 12:40 AM (oFzGS)
I don't think so, I would have remembered that.
Most likely at least.
Posted by: Harry Paratestes at January 01, 2016 12:40 AM (AkOaV)
Posted by: rickl at January 01, 2016 12:40 AM (sdi6R)
Posted by: eleven at January 01, 2016 12:41 AM (qUNWi)
Posted by: BourbonChicken at January 01, 2016 12:41 AM (VdICR)
Here, have some Magyar house music:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBqiyVazO-Q
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Still Accepting Harem Applicants at January 01, 2016 12:41 AM (/33sy)
Posted by: Trimegistus at January 01, 2016 12:41 AM (k+K+t)
Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at January 01, 2016 12:43 AM (FkBIv)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2bPw82zvmwY
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Still Accepting Harem Applicants at January 01, 2016 12:43 AM (/33sy)
Posted by: eman at January 01, 2016 12:43 AM (MQEz6)
I'm telling you, if you get the chance to go to a New Years party with a bunch of people who are down with the Carolina "shag" scene, DO IT!
Dang. These people weren't bullshitting around.
Posted by: weirdflunkyonatablet at January 01, 2016 12:44 AM (/GpW6)
Posted by: Slapweasel (Cold1),*To Our Sunshine Patriot* at January 01, 2016 12:44 AM (OQ9R7)
Posted by: Misanthropic Humanitarian, wanna get a cup of coffee? at January 01, 2016 12:45 AM (voOPb)
Posted by: eman at January 01, 2016 12:35 AM (MQEz6)
I don't expect to have anything left by then.
Posted by: Methos at January 01, 2016 12:46 AM (ZbV+0)
If I have to make a resolution, I guess it would be: be less of a dick.
Well see how that works out..."
-Posted by: Chi at January 01, 2016 12:40 AM (Qb4mU)
Free Your Mind.
Posted by: Slapweasel (Cold1),*To Our Sunshine Patriot* at January 01, 2016 12:46 AM (OQ9R7)
Posted by: Donald Trump at January 01, 2016 12:46 AM (H9MG5)
576 What are we going to drink on January 21, 2017?
Posted by: eman at January 01, 2016 12:35 AM (MQEz6)
I don't expect to have anything left by then.
Posted by: Methos at January 01, 2016 12:46 AM (ZbV+0)
Yeah, we may be huffing gasoline by then.
Posted by: eman at January 01, 2016 12:47 AM (MQEz6)
I hope to be drinking wine and vodka and champagne.
Posted by: CaliGirl at January 01, 2016 12:47 AM (egOGm)
Posted by: Chi at January 01, 2016 12:47 AM (Qb4mU)
Madonna has stopped menstruating. Now what?
Posted by: Bandersnatch at January 01, 2016 12:48 AM (1xUj/)
578 Look. You guys should never sock me. I mean c'mon. Nome of you are classy enough, and you're all low energy. When I'm President I'm gonna build a firewall to keep all the socks out, and make the AoSHQ great again.
Posted by: Donald Trump at January 01, 2016 12:46 AM (H9MG5)
What kind of firewall?
Posted by: eman at January 01, 2016 12:48 AM (MQEz6)
Yet another foul reminder that other people exist.
Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at January 01, 2016 12:49 AM (bLnSU)
---
Double post of whatever DrewM puts up around 11.
Posted by: Methos at January 01, 2016 12:49 AM (ZbV+0)
Posted by: eleven at January 01, 2016 12:50 AM (qUNWi)
Posted by: Eddie Murphy at January 01, 2016 12:50 AM (vNP/h)
---
Double post of whatever DrewM puts up around 11.
Posted by: Methos at January 01, 2016 12:49 AM (ZbV+0)
An upsde down painting.
Posted by: eman at January 01, 2016 12:50 AM (MQEz6)
And noone will get through it. Not even those hackers from Chyina.
Posted by: Donald Trump at January 01, 2016 12:51 AM (H9MG5)
Yet another foul reminder that other people exist."
-Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at January 01, 2016 12:49 AM (bLnSU)
Don't worry. You don't have to live in "Automated Email Hell" to know that people don't care.
Posted by: Slapweasel (Cold1),*To Our Sunshine Patriot* at January 01, 2016 12:52 AM (OQ9R7)
Posted by: MTF at January 01, 2016 12:52 AM (vNP/h)
Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at January 01, 2016 12:52 AM (FkBIv)
Posted by: Jackson Pollack at January 01, 2016 12:52 AM (1xUj/)
Well see how that works out..."
------------
That would have been mine too, but the wife just called me a dick for relentlessly mocking Ryan Seacrest...
Oh well, there is always next year?
Posted by: BunkerinTheBurbs at January 01, 2016 12:52 AM (bA+CL)
Posted by: IC at January 01, 2016 12:52 AM (+3RH+)
Posted by: MTF at January 01, 2016 12:52 AM (vNP/h)
Gimme a few minutes. Or maybe, nobody here wants to hear it - I'll e-mail it?
Posted by: Chi at January 01, 2016 12:53 AM (Qb4mU)
Posted by: tbodie at January 01, 2016 12:53 AM (Z+JNA)
Posted by: boulder terlit hobo at January 01, 2016 12:53 AM (6FqZa)
Posted by: eleven at January 01, 2016 12:54 AM (qUNWi)
Posted by: SMFH at January 01, 2016 12:54 AM (lQg7m)
Posted by: MTF at January 01, 2016 12:54 AM (vNP/h)
Remember through this coming year that we are Americans and the head is held HIGH, especially during these times.
Goodnite, good people. Stay safe.
Posted by: irongrampa at January 01, 2016 12:54 AM (jeCnD)
Posted by: Methos at January 01, 2016 12:54 AM (ZbV+0)
Posted by: CaliGirl at January 01, 2016 12:47 AM (egOGm)
Yikes. Sounds like an awful hang over waiting to happen.
Posted by: Harry Paratestes at January 01, 2016 12:55 AM (AkOaV)
Posted by: MTF at January 01, 2016 12:52 AM (vNP/h)
***
Serbian, but they'll do, quite nicely, until I can get my Greater Asian Co-Prosperity Sphere team together. Auditions are running a bit long.
I'm sure you understand:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AoOXyaPVVgI
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Still Accepting Harem Applicants at January 01, 2016 12:56 AM (/33sy)
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at January 01, 2016 12:56 AM (RU5ki)
Posted by: Slapweasel (Cold1),*To Our Sunshine Patriot* at January 01, 2016 12:56 AM (OQ9R7)
Posted by: Emperor Barky The Blameless at January 01, 2016 12:57 AM (A5RGQ)
"Jukebox Duty"?
Posted by: Slapweasel (Cold1),*To Our Sunshine Patriot* at January 01, 2016 12:56 AM (OQ9R7)
It's slang for the guy who checks to see if the hooker is a chick or a dude.
He has to "juke" with her "box" IYKWIMAITYD
Posted by: Harry Paratestes at January 01, 2016 12:57 AM (AkOaV)
-Posted by: eleven at January 01, 2016 12:54 AM (qUNWi)
In the United States of America.
Posted by: Slapweasel (Cold1),*To Our Sunshine Patriot* at January 01, 2016 12:57 AM (OQ9R7)
Stepped outside for a few to listen to the gunfire, sounds like the Civil War just started off in the distance.
Posted by: Blano at January 01, 2016 12:58 AM (C3E0x)
I've just been scrubbed, disinfected, rinsed out with hot water, so the first victim is in for a treat! I'm starting the year smelling fresh on the inside. Like Pinesol.
Posted by: The Barrel at January 01, 2016 12:58 AM (oFzGS)
Posted by: Slapweasel (Cold1),*To Our Sunshine Patriot* at January 01, 2016 12:58 AM (OQ9R7)
Goodnite, good people. Stay safe.
I read the ONT sporadically. This is my favorite "goodnight".
GN IG.
Posted by: tbodie at January 01, 2016 12:59 AM (Z+JNA)
Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at January 01, 2016 12:59 AM (FkBIv)
-------------
#twoweeks
Posted by: Cicero (@cicero) at January 01, 2016 12:59 AM (RU5ki)
Posted by: Blano at January 01, 2016 12:58 AM (C3E0x)
well for your sake, lets hope not.
We'd hate to have to embarrass you like that again by whooping your ass. Again.
Posted by: Harry Paratestes at January 01, 2016 12:59 AM (AkOaV)
He has to "juke" with her "box" IYKWIMAITYD."
-Posted by: Harry Paratestes at January 01, 2016 12:57 AM (AkOaV)
That was terrible. I expect better of you, Sir.
Posted by: Slapweasel (Cold1),*To Our Sunshine Patriot* at January 01, 2016 01:00 AM (OQ9R7)
Posted by: Al Sharpton at January 01, 2016 01:00 AM (oFzGS)
618 Stepped outside for a few to listen to the gunfire, sounds like the Civil War just started off in the distance.
Posted by: Blano at January 01, 2016 12:58 AM (C3E0x)
well for your sake, lets hope not.
We'd hate to have to embarrass you like that again by whooping your ass. Again.
Posted by: Harry Paratestes at January 01, 2016 12:59 AM (AkOaV)
uh oh
Posted by: eman at January 01, 2016 01:01 AM (MQEz6)
Posted by: L, Elle at January 01, 2016 01:01 AM (2x3L+)
Posted by: Nevergiveup at January 01, 2016 01:01 AM (DUoqb)
Posted by: Slapweasel (Cold1),*To Our Sunshine Patriot* at January 01, 2016 01:00 AM (OQ9R7)
::shrug::
Posted by: Harry Paratestes at January 01, 2016 01:01 AM (AkOaV)
Posted by: Puddleglum@work, totally not spying, really! at January 01, 2016 01:02 AM (NGd+i)
Posted by: RickZ at January 01, 2016 01:02 AM (A5RGQ)
Posted by: Peyton Manning at January 01, 2016 01:02 AM (H9MG5)
Posted by: Mike Hammer, toasting friends who are gone at January 01, 2016 01:03 AM (n22zQ)
Just as predicted gale force winds and rain pelt the country, with snow in the offing and Mt. Hermon in the north already covered in white.
Posted by: Nevergiveup at January 01, 2016 01:03 AM (DUoqb)
Tease.
Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at January 01, 2016 01:03 AM (zc3Db)
-Posted by: eman at January 01, 2016 01:01 AM (MQEz6)
No, seriously. We'd kick the South's ever-loving ass.
-Again.
Posted by: Slapweasel (Cold1),*To Our Sunshine Patriot* at January 01, 2016 01:03 AM (OQ9R7)
But he is a lying sack of shit Pelagian. The point is not that you get a do over, it is that Christ has already DONE it for you. You can't atone for your sins.
See Chris Rosebrough for more info on Warren's lies.
Posted by: Al Sharpton at January 01, 2016 01:04 AM (oFzGS)
Posted by: eman at January 01, 2016 01:04 AM (MQEz6)
The White House has delayed its plan to impose new financial sanctions on Iran for its ballistic missile program, American officials said Thursday, according to The Wall Street Journal.
The announcement comes just one day after it was reported that the Obama administration is preparing new sanctions on international companies and individuals who played a role in Irans ballistic endeavors.
According to the officials, the decision to back off the new sanctions comes amid growing tensions with Iran over the nuclear deal struck earlier this year.
This next year is gong to be a living hell
Posted by: Nevergiveup at January 01, 2016 01:05 AM (DUoqb)
Posted by: Peyton Manning
IT'S FUNNY BECAUSE HE'S GOT A BIGASS HEAD!
Posted by: BEN ROETHLISBERGER at January 01, 2016 01:05 AM (/FOB4)
Posted by: Ladyboy Prime Minister at January 01, 2016 01:05 AM (dvuhZ)
*in the spirit of the New Year, refuses to rise to the Civil War bait*
Posted by: Mike Hammer, toasting friends who are gone at January 01, 2016 01:05 AM (n22zQ)
---
4 years isn't really an ass kicking, unless you mean in really slow motion.
Gulf War 1 was an ass-kicking.
Posted by: Methos at January 01, 2016 01:06 AM (ZbV+0)
629 Massive snowstorm hits Israel
Just as predicted gale force winds and rain pelt the country, with snow in the offing and Mt. Hermon in the north already covered in white.
Posted by: Nevergiveup at January 01, 2016 01:03 AM (DUoqb)
Wear a sweater, Mr. Fancy Pants!
Posted by: eman at January 01, 2016 01:06 AM (MQEz6)
The new fund, known as the United States Victims of State Sponsors of Terrorism Fund, was an addition to the omnibus bill put forward by Congress and signed into law by President Barack Obama Dec. 28.
Another sell out by the RINOs and SHILLs
CUE THE SHILL
Posted by: Nevergiveup at January 01, 2016 01:06 AM (DUoqb)
Here's hoping you guys will keep me well fed in 2016!
I've just been scrubbed, disinfected, rinsed out with hot water, so
the first victim is in for a treat! I'm starting the year smelling fresh
on the inside. Like Pinesol.
Posted by: The Barrel at January 01, 2016 12:58 AM (oFzGS)
Like I'd believe that....
Posted by: Porta-Potty at January 01, 2016 01:07 AM (EzgxV)
-Posted by: Mike Hammer, toasting friends who are gone at January 01, 2016 01:05 AM (n22zQ)
*HAH!*
^Dude 'Gets It'^
Posted by: Slapweasel (Cold1),*To Our Sunshine Patriot* at January 01, 2016 01:07 AM (OQ9R7)
Posted by: L, Elle at January 01, 2016 01:07 AM (2x3L+)
Jukebox duty is when a dozen regulars at the dive bar are tired of getting up and feeding the machine $2 at a time to play a few songs. Eventually, everyone slides their money to one person. At first that one person rotates amongst the regulars...
I eventually became the de-facto DJ.
"You MF's know what I play every day! You apparently like it - Go play it yourself!"
Then one day, I decided to rock this little redneck bar with $50 worth of R&B, soul, 80's rap, blues they didn't know existed...
Posted by: Chi at January 01, 2016 01:07 AM (Qb4mU)
Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at January 01, 2016 01:08 AM (bLnSU)
---
Based on the numbers I use for the yahoo pick em (I run one for friends), I've got Arizona beating either NE or KC in the big game.
Posted by: Methos at January 01, 2016 01:08 AM (ZbV+0)
Posted by: Mike Hammer, toasting friends who are gone at January 01, 2016 01:08 AM (n22zQ)
Here's to a schlong free 2016!!!
Posted by: Caitlyn Jenner at January 01, 2016 01:09 AM (oFzGS)
Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at January 01, 2016 01:09 AM (FkBIv)
640 A fund of over $1 billion has been created for the U.S. embassy personnel taken hostage by Iran after the 1979 Islamic Revolution, but it is the U.S. taxpayer, not Iran, who will be paying for it.
The new fund, known as the United States Victims of State Sponsors of Terrorism Fund, was an addition to the omnibus bill put forward by Congress and signed into law by President Barack Obama Dec. 28.
Another sell out by the RINOs and SHILLs
CUE THE SHILL
Posted by: Nevergiveup at January 01, 2016 01:06 AM (DUoqb)
At this hour?
Posted by: eman at January 01, 2016 01:10 AM (MQEz6)
-Posted by: Chi at January 01, 2016 01:07 AM (Qb4mU)
If they didn't know it existed, then how did they have it in the jukebox?
*poke*
I've played "Ween" on a jukebox enough to know what a puzzled look is.
Posted by: Slapweasel (Cold1),*To Our Sunshine Patriot* at January 01, 2016 01:10 AM (OQ9R7)
CUE THE SHILL
Posted by: Nevergiveup at January 01, 2016 01:06 AM (DUoqb)
At this hour?
Posted by: eman at January 01, 2016 01:10 AM (MQEz6)
hey I'm up..Be there or be square or something like that?
Posted by: Nevergiveup at January 01, 2016 01:11 AM (DUoqb)
I do love you man. I beat you to the punch by about 10 minutes, but thanks for the thought.
You really are a good man.
Posted by: Chi at January 01, 2016 01:12 AM (Qb4mU)
Posted by: Ricardo Montalbaum at January 01, 2016 01:12 AM (GdFQh)
CUE THE SHILL
Posted by: Nevergiveup at January 01, 2016 01:06 AM (DUoqb)
At this hour?
Posted by: eman at January 01, 2016 01:10 AM (MQEz6)
hey I'm up..Be there or be square or something like that?
Posted by: Nevergiveup at January 01, 2016 01:11 AM (DUoqb)
She'll be getting triple-time and a half.
Posted by: eman at January 01, 2016 01:12 AM (MQEz6)
-Posted by: Chi
----------
Ah. Charlie Daniels, 'Uneasy Rider':
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=952h-AJ3Bcg
Posted by: Mike Hammer, toasting friends who are gone at January 01, 2016 01:12 AM (n22zQ)
--------------------------------------------------
I have to say I really like the sound of this. Very positive. Go co-prosperity team!
Posted by: MTF at January 01, 2016 01:12 AM (vNP/h)
personnel taken hostage by Iran after the 1979 Islamic Revolution, but
it is the U.S. taxpayer, not Iran, who will be paying for it.
---
WTF? How many people were in the embassy?
That was almost 40 years ago, so in half those cases this is going to be money for their estates. Why is this anyone's priority?
Also, does it take care of anyone from Benghazi?
I suspect I know the answer to that.
Posted by: Methos at January 01, 2016 01:13 AM (ZbV+0)
Posted by: Nevergiveup at January 01, 2016 01:13 AM (DUoqb)
More beer anyone?
Posted by: MTF at January 01, 2016 01:15 AM (vNP/h)
" ... he's a friend of them long-haired, hippy-type, pinko fags -
I'll bet he's even got a commie flag,
Tacked up on the wall inside of his garage..."
Posted by: Mike Hammer, toasting friends who are gone at January 01, 2016 01:15 AM (n22zQ)
Posted by: SMFH at January 01, 2016 01:15 AM (lQg7m)
659 Man dies after jumping from the George Washington Bridge
Anyone missing? Just asking
Posted by: Nevergiveup at January 01, 2016 01:13 AM (DUoqb)
This year or last year?
Posted by: eman at January 01, 2016 01:15 AM (MQEz6)
Posted by: The Man from Athens at January 01, 2016 01:15 AM (qjJsc)
Meh. This was right after they got the new Internet connected "jukebox" thingamajig.
I learned a lot of new shit there, myself. I think that was where I first heard Adele, in fact.
And I know that is where I found Tracy Chapman doing duets with BB King and Buddy Guy.
Posted by: Chi at January 01, 2016 01:16 AM (Qb4mU)
I suspect I know the answer to that.
Posted by: Methos
It provides me with a new AK-47 and new MANPADS. Does that count?
Posted by: Benghazi protester of indeterminate religious affiliation at January 01, 2016 01:16 AM (/FOB4)
Posted by: MTF at January 01, 2016 01:16 AM (vNP/h)
Posted by: cthulhu at January 01, 2016 01:16 AM (EzgxV)
I suspect I know the answer to that.
Posted by: Methos at January 01, 2016 01:13 AM (ZbV+0)<<<
Nope. Benghaszi... was uh, workplace violence.
Er... caused by a YouTube video. So not state sponsored terrorism. That money can be channeled for more important things. Like Planned Parenthood.
Posted by: the Hussein Clown Posse, and their Bearded Bitch from WI at January 01, 2016 01:17 AM (H9MG5)
Posted by: SMFH at January 01, 2016 01:17 AM (lQg7m)
Posted by: Vendette at January 01, 2016 01:17 AM (ZHuTJ)
Cooth, cooth, cooth...
I do love you man. I beat you to the punch by about 10 minutes, but thanks for the thought.
You really are a good man.
Posted by: Chi at January 01, 2016 01:12 AM (Qb4mU)
Probably took me that long to punch the damned thing in to the DumbPhone. Warms the heart, nevertheless.
Posted by: cthulhu at January 01, 2016 01:18 AM (EzgxV)
Speaking of functionally illiterate retards:
Obama Tells Jerry Seinfeld Many World Leaders "Insane"
http://tinyurl.com/gltcpeg
What a fucking tool...............
Posted by: 98ZJUSMC Staring at the Lake in the rain at January 01, 2016 01:19 AM (WWdgA)
Posted by: L, Elle at January 01, 2016 01:19 AM (2x3L+)
Posted by: MTF at January 01, 2016 01:19 AM (vNP/h)
Love you too, Cooth.
Even with the nasty tentacles
Posted by: SMFH at January 01, 2016 01:15 AM (lQg7m)
Just get close enough and I might change your opinion of 'em.....
Posted by: cthulhu at January 01, 2016 01:20 AM (EzgxV)
Posted by: Caitlyn Jenner, Attis/Skoptsy cultist at January 01, 2016 01:20 AM (oFzGS)
Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at January 01, 2016 01:20 AM (FkBIv)
By the way, anyone seen Huma?
Posted by: Hillary Clinton at January 01, 2016 01:21 AM (qjJsc)
Posted by: MTF at January 01, 2016 01:22 AM (vNP/h)
Posted by: Hillary Clinton
I know where she is, but she's going to need a bath when she comes out.
Posted by: Roxy Raye at January 01, 2016 01:23 AM (/FOB4)
I should've sent you my old S3 for Christmas.
I bet I could type the first 2 chapters of War and Peace before you could type "how are you doing these days?" in a text! !
I'll try to be up to wish you a Happy New Year, but I promise NOT to call without permission.
Posted by: Chi at January 01, 2016 01:23 AM (Qb4mU)
Posted by: MTF at January 01, 2016 01:23 AM (vNP/h)
Posted by: Col. Angus at January 01, 2016 01:24 AM (dvuhZ)
Posted by: L, Elle at January 01, 2016 01:24 AM (2x3L+)
Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at January 01, 2016 01:24 AM (FkBIv)
Posted by: General Akbar at January 01, 2016 01:25 AM (vNP/h)
Posted by: Tilikum Moderately Nefarious Killer Whale at January 01, 2016 01:26 AM (hVdx9)
Posted by: Hillary Clinton at January 01, 2016 01:26 AM (qjJsc)
Posted by: General Akbar
Are you one of those 27 generals and admirals I've been hearing about?
Posted by: Bertram Cabot Jr. at January 01, 2016 01:27 AM (FkBIv)
Posted by: Col. Angus at January 01, 2016 01:27 AM (dvuhZ)
-Posted by: Merovign, Dark Lord of the Sith at January 01, 2016 01:08 AM (bLnSU)
Listen... I know stuff about things. You're trying to divide us because you think you have some sort-of something against the whole thing.
What you're doing is making amends to some unknown entity, against which, we continue to persevere.
I'll have you know that there is no point in the previous paragraphs and there is no meaning in reading my continued utterances.
I have firmly railed against portions of your aforementioned diatribe and will continue to do so.
...for The People.
Continued plaphanations might scringe you into prominence, but will exclude you from exhalkitation.
We here at Slapweasel Industries excrete the former and applaud the latter.
-Making Sense
...Our Seventeenth best feature.
-Slapweasel Industries,
From our ass to Your Home.
*Plays Feature Music*
Posted by: Slapweasel (Cold1),*To Our Sunshine Patriot* at January 01, 2016 01:28 AM (OQ9R7)
Everyone else drinks Champaign but I still like beer. And maybe some Bushmills.
Anyway, it would be great to have a drink sometime.
Posted by: General Akbar at January 01, 2016 01:28 AM (vNP/h)
Posted by: MTF at January 01, 2016 01:23 AM (vNP/h)
-------
Please don't. No spoilers. I actually dont want to watch this one based on the shitty prequels. I don't need more disappointment. Please, no spoilers. Asking nicely
Posted by: L, Elle at January 01, 2016 01:28 AM (2x3L+)
Posted by: MTF at January 01, 2016 01:29 AM (vNP/h)
Has a good beat though.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kd6u9Fj8vZk
Posted by: SMFH at January 01, 2016 01:29 AM (lQg7m)
Posted by: MTF at January 01, 2016 01:30 AM (vNP/h)
Posted by: Harry Paratestes at January 01, 2016 12:59 AM (AkOaV)
I moved South, I'm arming myself....
BRING IT BITCHEZ
Posted by: Blano at January 01, 2016 01:31 AM (C3E0x)
You coulda called!
Posted by: Smokey the Bear at January 01, 2016 01:31 AM (qjJsc)
Posted by: MTF at January 01, 2016 01:31 AM (vNP/h)
BRING IT BITCHEZ
Posted by: Blano at January 01, 2016 01:31 AM (C3E0x)
Anyone have a match? Asking for a friend.
Posted by: Harry "Tecumseh" Paratestes at January 01, 2016 01:32 AM (AkOaV)
Posted by: Slapweasel (Cold1),*To Our Sunshine Patriot* at January 01, 2016 01:32 AM (OQ9R7)
**sheepishly bites lower lip**
And thankfully Hill's too busy/drunk and doesn't care, or else I'd be spending some time in Shits Creek.
Posted by: The Clenis at January 01, 2016 01:32 AM (H9MG5)
Posted by: Harry Paratestes at January 01, 2016 01:33 AM (AkOaV)
[most of post snipped, go look it up yourself]
Crazy girl, I miss her.......
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Still Accepting Harem Applicants at December 31, 2015 10:51 PM (/33sy)
That's a great story, Uncle P!
Posted by: The Inexplicable Dr. Julius Strangepork at January 01, 2016 01:33 AM (BmM7W)
21 minutes to go before sis thing terrible happens.
Posted by: L, Elle at January 01, 2016 01:33 AM (2x3L+)
---------------------
Might as well give in now and watch it in the theater. You *are* going to get spoiled before it comes out on video, one way or another. If the fans don't spoil it (and by and large, they've been pretty good), then the backlash types (who seem to be driven to produce articles detailing how bad it is solely to prove that they're not mindless fans) will spoil it instead.
Personally, I suspect that it will be one of the latter.
Posted by: junior at January 01, 2016 01:34 AM (aIiFP)
Posted by: Slapweasel (Cold1),*To Our Sunshine Patriot* at January 01, 2016 01:34 AM (OQ9R7)
Posted by: The Political Aria at January 01, 2016 01:34 AM (vBeA5)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=952h-AJ3Bcg
Posted by: Mike Hammer, toasting friends who are gone at January 01, 2016 01:12 AM (n22zQ)
My fave CD song.
Posted by: Blano at January 01, 2016 01:35 AM (C3E0x)
Heh. Just glad that you got a working phone, and can actually text.
I should've sent you my old S3 for Christmas.
I bet I could type the first 2 chapters of War and Peace before you could type "how are you doing these days?" in a text! !
I'll try to be up to wish you a Happy New Year, but I promise NOT to call without permission.
Posted by: Chi at January 01, 2016 01:23 AM (Qb4mU)
I can text, it'll tell me whose calls I missed, it'll tell me who I called and when.....I'm pleased.
And on the "mad scientist" side of things, I've got a recipe that allows a raspberry pi to send and receive text messages. As in, it can send "intruder alert" to my phone for unsuccessful login attempts, and I can send it commands from wherever I am.
And, yes, you probably could type in the first two chapters of War and Peace.....in the original Russian.....
....and you can call any time.
Posted by: cthulhu at January 01, 2016 01:36 AM (EzgxV)
Posted by: Caitlyn Jenner at January 01, 2016 01:36 AM (oFzGS)
Posted by: tbodie at January 01, 2016 01:36 AM (Z+JNA)
Posted by: Caitlyn Jenner at January 01, 2016 01:36 AM
------
Phrasing!!!
First sentence!
Posted by: L, Elle at January 01, 2016 01:37 AM (2x3L+)
Posted by: Slapweasel (Cold1),*To Our Sunshine Patriot* at January 01, 2016 01:34 AM (OQ9R7)
Yup, I'm out.
Night all
Posted by: Harry Paratestes at January 01, 2016 01:38 AM (AkOaV)
Posted by: Slapweasel (Cold1),*To Our Sunshine Patriot* at January 01, 2016 01:38 AM (OQ9R7)
Posted by: Slapweasel (Cold1),*To Our Sunshine Patriot* at January 01, 2016 01:38 AM (OQ9R7)
What is something from 2015 that nobody here knows? I'll start:
I haven't shaved in 4 months. I look like a cross between Jeremiah Johnson & the homeless guy on the corner with a cardboard sign asking for quarter pounders.
Posted by: Chi at January 01, 2016 01:40 AM (Qb4mU)
Because money is essentially meaningless and congress and specifically the GOP is a fundamentally unserious and corrupt political party.
I can still see in my minds eye that feature length video of Paul Ryan going on about the debt that catapulted him to "conservative" rock star status and got him a spot on the seriously conservative Romney juggernaut.
Good times, good times.
Posted by: Kreplach at January 01, 2016 01:40 AM (94IKW)
Posted by: L, Elle at January 01, 2016 01:41 AM (2x3L+)
Slowing down quite a bit. Hmmm...
What is something from 2015 that nobody here knows? I'll start:
I haven't shaved in 4 months. I look like a cross between Jeremiah
Johnson the homeless guy on the corner with a cardboard sign
asking for quarter pounders.
Posted by: Chi at January 01, 2016 01:40 AM (Qb4mU)
Great -- I might drive all the way out there and mistake you for a squatter.....until Tucker nips me.
Posted by: cthulhu at January 01, 2016 01:43 AM (EzgxV)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=952h-AJ3Bcg"
-Posted by: Mike Hammer, toasting friends who are gone at January 01, 2016 01:12 AM (n22zQ)
*HAH!*
Posted by: Slapweasel (Cold1),*To Our Sunshine Patriot* at January 01, 2016 01:44 AM (OQ9R7)
What're the odds, Isaiah?
Posted by: Hezekiah at January 01, 2016 01:44 AM (oFzGS)
Posted by: garrett at January 01, 2016 01:46 AM (hQj0F)
Posted by: Blano at January 01, 2016 01:48 AM (C3E0x)
Posted by: Slapweasel (Cold1),*To Our Sunshine Patriot* at January 01, 2016 01:48 AM (OQ9R7)
Posted by: Hezekiah at January 01, 2016 01:51 AM (oFzGS)
Posted by: cthulhu at January 01, 2016 01:52 AM (EzgxV)
Posted by: L, Elle at January 01, 2016 01:53 AM (2x3L+)
Posted by: SMFH at January 01, 2016 01:53 AM (lQg7m)
Posted by: L, Elle at January 01, 2016 01:54 AM (2x3L+)
Happy (as it can be) New Year, everyone!
Posted by: JQ Flyover at January 01, 2016 01:55 AM (044Fx)
Posted by: deepelemblues at January 01, 2016 01:55 AM (KiO7/)
Posted by: JQ Flyover at January 01, 2016 01:55 AM (044Fx)
--
As there has never been a mass worldwide Exploding Head Event, I'd say slim. But I'm just spitballin' here.
Posted by: Methos at January 01, 2016 01:55 AM (ZbV+0)
694 >>> I finally saw Star Wars this afternoon, so go ahead and release all spoilers now.
Posted by: MTF at January 01, 2016 01:23 AM (vNP/h)
-------
Please don't. No spoilers. I actually dont want to watch this one based on the shitty prequels. I don't need more disappointment. Please, no spoilers. Asking nicely
Posted by: L, Elle at January 01, 2016 01:28 AM (2x3L+)
Do go see it.
It is nothing like the prequels.
Posted by: eman at January 01, 2016 01:58 AM (MQEz6)
Posted by: Chi at January 01, 2016 01:58 AM (Qb4mU)
Posted by: Kindltot at January 01, 2016 01:59 AM (q2o38)
BUT NEVER TO MY ADVANTAGE, DANGIT!
Posted by: pookysgirl at January 01, 2016 01:59 AM (VwbPZ)
Posted by: thathalfrican at January 01, 2016 02:00 AM (R5HRU)
Just read that the Texas "King of Torts," Joe Jamail, died just before Christmas. A conservative FB friend posted a piece about him, which of course worshipped him like a god.
All it did was make me angry. Everything I've read about the guy says that he was a screaming asshole, because he became obscenely wealthy as a trial attorney. I've never understood the mentality that says if you're a "winner," that gives you the right to treat other people like shit.
Posted by: qdpsteve at January 01, 2016 02:00 AM (ntObR)
Posted by: eman at January 01, 2016 01:58 AM (MQEz6
-------
I will based on your reco alone. We can talk about it later maybe.
Posted by: L, Elle at January 01, 2016 02:00 AM (2x3L+)
Only ones left to watch are the "unofficial" Bond flicks, 1967's spoof Casino Royale and 1983's Never Say Never Again.
Posted by: qdpsteve at January 01, 2016 02:02 AM (ntObR)
Posted by: cthulhu at January 01, 2016 02:02 AM (EzgxV)
BUT NEVER TO MY ADVANTAGE, DANGIT!"
-Posted by: pookysgirl at January 01, 2016 01:59 AM (VwbPZ)
Data is required.
*Lost Connection*
Posted by: Some Dude at January 01, 2016 02:03 AM (OQ9R7)
742 >>>> It is nothing like the prequels.
Posted by: eman at January 01, 2016 01:58 AM (MQEz6
-------
I will based on your reco alone. We can talk about it later maybe.
Posted by: L, Elle at January 01, 2016 02:00 AM (2x3L+)
Deal.
May the Force be with you.
Posted by: eman at January 01, 2016 02:03 AM (MQEz6)
Posted by: eman at January 01, 2016 02:05 AM (MQEz6)
Troll the left. Shine the spotlight on the stick up their ass.
It's a shame people can't see through them using reason alone, but we must fight them with their own tactics. Pretty obvious that bullet necklace >> tampon earrings.
Posted by: Hezekiah at January 01, 2016 02:07 AM (oFzGS)
Posted by: L, Elle at January 01, 2016 02:10 AM (2x3L+)
Posted by: Michael Moore at January 01, 2016 02:10 AM (oFzGS)
Here, have some Magyar house music:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBqiyVazO-Q
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Still Accepting Harem Applicants at January 01, 2016 12:41 AM (/33sy)
This is pretty catchy:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dOiFklo4Xt4
Posted by: rickl at January 01, 2016 02:11 AM (sdi6R)
Posted by: Slapweasel (Cold1), T at January 01, 2016 02:13 AM (OQ9R7)
Posted by: Pope Francis, wearing Sith vestments at January 01, 2016 02:13 AM (oFzGS)
749 eman, trying to stay up with you but fading fast. If I don't make it, Happy New Year.
Posted by: L, Elle at January 01, 2016 02:10 AM (2x3L+)
*smiles*
Same here and same to you, L, Elle.
Posted by: eman at January 01, 2016 02:13 AM (MQEz6)
753 May the Force be with you.
Posted by: eman
And also with you.
Posted by: Pope Francis, wearing Sith vestments at January 01, 2016 02:13 AM (oFzGS)
Whatever you wear, make it work.
Posted by: eman at January 01, 2016 02:15 AM (MQEz6)
Posted by: L, Elle at January 01, 2016 02:10 AM (2x3L+)<<<
Bob Dole thinks you should forget about that guy. Bob Dole can stay up with you all night long. Bob Dole can last all through 2016. Bob Dole. Bob Dole.
Posted by: Bob Dole at January 01, 2016 02:16 AM (H9MG5)
Troll the left. Shine the spotlight on the stick up their ass.
It's a shame people can't see through them using reason alone, but we must fight them with their own tactics. Pretty obvious that bullet necklace >> tampon earrings.
Posted by: Hezekiah at January 01, 2016 02:07 AM (oFzGS)
I didn't see anybody else post this info, so I will.
Someone earlier called her "ethnically ambiguous." She's black.
And yes, she's hawt. 40 or early 40's now I think.
Katrina ran against some congressman down here in the primary as a Tea Party candidate and got 42%. Stomped, but not bad for a rookie.
And yes, hawt.
Posted by: Blano at January 01, 2016 02:17 AM (C3E0x)
Posted by: L, Elle at January 01, 2016 02:18 AM (2x3L+)
Hey, there could be an utterly ambiguous U-2 song in that somewhere!
Posted by: Kindltot at January 01, 2016 02:19 AM (q2o38)
Posted by: rickl at January 01, 2016 02:19 AM (sdi6R)
Posted by: Kindltot at January 01, 2016 02:20 AM (q2o38)
Happy New Year.
Posted by: L, Elle at January 01, 2016 02:23 AM (2x3L+)
Posted by: Kindltot at January 01, 2016 02:24 AM (q2o38)
Posted by: cthulhu at January 01, 2016 02:24 AM (EzgxV)
West coasters, eman, zombie, BBwolf and everyone else out there.
---
We're not staying up for NavyCopJoe then?
Posted by: Methos at January 01, 2016 02:24 AM (ZbV+0)
758 37 minutes left for the west coast and I'm with a Bob Dole sock.
Eman???
Posted by: L, Elle at January 01, 2016 02:18 AM (2x3L+)
Bob Dole is Bob Dole and eman is not Bob Dole.
Posted by: eman at January 01, 2016 02:25 AM (MQEz6)
Posted by: L, Elle at January 01, 2016 02:26 AM (2x3L+)
Posted by: Blano at January 01, 2016 02:17 AM (C3E0x)
Link?
Posted by: rickl at January 01, 2016 02:19 AM (sdi6R)
Pixy won't let me post with a link in my nic for some reason.
Posted by: Blano at January 01, 2016 02:27 AM (C3E0x)
Posted by: Snoodling Hero Emeritus at January 01, 2016 02:29 AM (k9qR4)
[snipped a bunch of stuff]
Having grown-up as a self-absorbed nerd, it came as a real surprise to realize that, yeah, I'd run out in the street in front of a semi to try to push one of our godkids to safety. It's not something that I felt as a kid -- though my hat is off to Knoxville hero Zaevion Dobson, who instinctively knew something at the age of 15 that I was oblivious to until I was twice his age.
Posted by: cthulhu at December 31, 2015 11:15 PM (EzgxV)
Did something like that a few years ago. Not the busiest intersection in town by any means, but not the smallest (5 lanes by 5 lanes). Little boy, about 6 yrs old wandered out of the house while Momma was taking a nap with the baby. Boy got turned around, panicked, and started running. Everything turned out OK. The best part was that within a few moments of my carrying the boy to the sidewalk, four more people materialized . . . they'd seen him too, and stepped in to help. It's a good town.
Posted by: The Inexplicable Dr. Julius Strangepork at January 01, 2016 02:29 AM (5n6qd)
Posted by: cthulhu at January 01, 2016 02:29 AM (EzgxV)
Posted by: some things never change at January 01, 2016 02:30 AM (H9MG5)
Posted by: eman at January 01, 2016 02:32 AM (MQEz6)
Pixy won't let me post with a link in my nic for some reason.
Posted by: Blano at January 01, 2016 02:27 AM (C3E0x)
Never mind, I did my own search.
https://tinyurl.com/h3y4gtv
Nice.
And yes, hawt.
Posted by: rickl at January 01, 2016 02:33 AM (sdi6R)
---
And easily image searched. That turned up a couple of interesting things-she was endorsed by Sarah Palin and, er, Ted Cruz's father
Posted by: Methos at January 01, 2016 02:36 AM (ZbV+0)
Posted by: eman at January 01, 2016 02:36 AM (MQEz6)
Posted by: eman at January 01, 2016 02:36 AM (MQEz6)
And they are calling it "The Millenium Prius" until the Uber driver gets mad and throws them out.
Posted by: Kindltot at January 01, 2016 02:38 AM (q2o38)
Posted by: conservative women are always way hotter at January 01, 2016 02:39 AM (H9MG5)
215
[snipped a bunch of stuff]
Having grown-up as a self-absorbed nerd, it came as a real surprise
to realize that, yeah, I'd run out in the street in front of a semi to
try to push one of our godkids to safety. It's not something that I felt
as a kid -- though my hat is off to Knoxville hero Zaevion Dobson, who
instinctively knew something at the age of 15 that I was oblivious to
until I was twice his age.
Posted by: cthulhu at December 31, 2015 11:15 PM (EzgxV)
Did something like that a few years ago. Not the busiest
intersection in town by any means, but not the smallest (5 lanes by 5
lanes). Little boy, about 6 yrs old wandered out of the house while
Momma was taking a nap with the baby. Boy got turned around, panicked,
and started running. Everything turned out OK. The best part was that
within a few moments of my carrying the boy to the sidewalk, four more
people materialized . . . they'd seen him too, and stepped in to help.
It's a good town.
Posted by: The Inexplicable Dr. Julius Strangepork at January 01, 2016 02:29 AM (5n6qd)
Did you go, "WTF was that???" right afterward? That was the part that really knocked me on my kiester -- I had no idea that I had that as a built-in function, much less that it was enabled.
And, BTW -- Zaevion Dobson, Knoxville, TN.....the Right Stuff, who the MSM ignores; while they drooled all over druggie, thief, and assailant Trayvon.
Posted by: cthulhu at January 01, 2016 02:40 AM (EzgxV)
Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Stiletto Corsettes now franchising Lulu Snackbars at January 01, 2016 02:40 AM (kXoT0)
The Frenchman makes plan to spend his last minutes with his girlfriend and some wine, the Brit makes plans to take a long walk with his dog, and the Russian buys gasoline to burn down his neighbor's house.
Posted by: Kindltot at January 01, 2016 02:42 AM (q2o38)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iNwC0sp-uA4
Posted by: rickl at January 01, 2016 02:43 AM (sdi6R)
Posted by: eman at January 01, 2016 02:43 AM (MQEz6)
Posted by: L, Elle at January 01, 2016 02:44 AM (2x3L+)
784 Barely awake
Posted by: L, Elle at January 01, 2016 02:44 AM (2x3L+)
Think about something funny.
Posted by: eman at January 01, 2016 02:45 AM (MQEz6)
Posted by: L, Elle at January 01, 2016 02:46 AM (2x3L+)
Home safe and sound from my New Year's Eve outing. I am now busy eating my blackeyed peas.
Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Stiletto Corsettes now franchising Lulu Snackbars at January 01, 2016 02:40 AM (kXoT0)
Glad you made it back safe. It's horrific to be on the roads with the idiots who infest 'em on nights like this.
Posted by: cthulhu at January 01, 2016 02:46 AM (EzgxV)
Posted by: cthulhu at January 01, 2016 02:47 AM (EzgxV)
Posted by: L, Elle at January 01, 2016 02:47 AM (2x3L+)
Posted by: cthulhu at January 01, 2016 02:47 AM (EzgxV)
Posted by: cthulhu at January 01, 2016 02:48 AM (EzgxV)
Simple and effective idea.
Plus you get to watch your friends turn into drunken idiots.
Posted by: eman at January 01, 2016 02:48 AM (MQEz6)
Posted by: L, Elle at January 01, 2016 02:49 AM (2x3L+)
Posted by: eman at January 01, 2016 02:49 AM (MQEz6)
Fortunately, my daughters and her friends are partying here...and I have confiscated car keys and keybobs.
Posted by: SMFH at January 01, 2016 02:49 AM (lQg7m)
Posted by: cthulhu at January 01, 2016 02:50 AM (EzgxV)
Posted by: L, Elle at January 01, 2016 02:50 AM (2x3L+)
Posted by: cthulhu at January 01, 2016 02:50 AM (EzgxV)
Posted by: thathalfrican at January 01, 2016 02:51 AM (R5HRU)
Posted by: cthulhu at January 01, 2016 02:50 AM (EzgxV)
Four is the fourth loneliest number.
Posted by: Three Dog Night, A Feast for Barky at January 01, 2016 02:51 AM (zc3Db)
Cooth,
Fortunately, my daughters and her friends are partying here...and I have confiscated car keys and keybobs.
Posted by: SMFH at January 01, 2016 02:49 AM (lQg7m)
'Cause you know how to keep a lid on the youngsters while allowing them to be youngsters.
Posted by: cthulhu at January 01, 2016 02:51 AM (EzgxV)
Posted by: Hezekiah at January 01, 2016 02:51 AM (oFzGS)
Posted by: eman at January 01, 2016 02:52 AM (MQEz6)
Posted by: cthulhu at January 01, 2016 02:52 AM (EzgxV)
To the founder of this den of scoundrels,
Genghis
*raises glass*
Posted by: jow at January 01, 2016 02:52 AM (cIsDX)
Posted by: cthulhu at January 01, 2016 02:52 AM (EzgxV)
Posted by: SMFH at January 01, 2016 02:52 AM (lQg7m)
Posted by: L, Elle at January 01, 2016 02:52 AM (2x3L+)
Posted by: jow at January 01, 2016 02:53 AM (cIsDX)
Posted by: L, Elle at January 01, 2016 02:53 AM (2x3L+)
Posted by: cthulhu at January 01, 2016 02:53 AM (EzgxV)
Posted by: Methos at January 01, 2016 02:53 AM (ZbV+0)
Posted by: eman at January 01, 2016 02:54 AM (MQEz6)
Funny! I needed that. Libtards are good for lulz, if nothing else.
Posted by: Hezekiah at January 01, 2016 02:54 AM (oFzGS)
Posted by: JQ Flyover at January 01, 2016 02:54 AM (044Fx)
Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Stiletto Corsettes now franchising Lulu Snackbars at January 01, 2016 02:40 AM (kXoT0)
So how many phone numbers got thrown at you??
Posted by: Blano at January 01, 2016 02:54 AM (C3E0x)
Posted by: Kindltot at January 01, 2016 02:54 AM (q2o38)
Posted by: L, Elle at January 01, 2016 02:54 AM (2x3L+)
Posted by: SMFH at January 01, 2016 02:54 AM (lQg7m)
Posted by: thathalfrican at January 01, 2016 02:54 AM (R5HRU)
Posted by: Clarney at January 01, 2016 02:54 AM (dgO4h)
Fortunately, my daughters and her friends are partying here...and I have confiscated car keys and keybobs.
Posted by: SMFH at January 01, 2016 02:49 AM (lQg7m)<<<
Mmmm, keybobs. But good thinking, someone could put an eye out with the skewer.
Posted by: a safety minded Moron at January 01, 2016 02:55 AM (H9MG5)
Posted by: L, Elle at January 01, 2016 02:56 AM (2x3L+)
Posted by: The Inexplicable Dr. Julius Strangepork at January 01, 2016 02:56 AM (5n6qd)
3 years on February 2016 so one of you folks have a drink or six for me! And with my current beverage...
To the founder of this den of scoundrels,
Genghis
*raises glass*
Posted by: jow at January 01, 2016 02:52 AM (cIsDX)
In fond memory of Genghis, who initiated the ONT, thus having done more to benefit mankind than the last half-dozen Nobel Peace Prize winners put together. Cheers!
Posted by: cthulhu at January 01, 2016 02:56 AM (EzgxV)
Posted by: test at January 01, 2016 02:56 AM (iQIUe)
Posted by: JQ Flyover at January 01, 2016 02:56 AM (044Fx)
Posted by: test at January 01, 2016 02:57 AM (iQIUe)
Posted by: test at January 01, 2016 02:59 AM (iQIUe)
Posted by: 2015 at January 01, 2016 02:59 AM (oFzGS)
Posted by: AoShq stole my W**g! at January 01, 2016 03:00 AM (iQIUe)
Posted by: test at January 01, 2016 02:59 AM
I'm a little slow. What's it rhyme with?
Posted by: jow at January 01, 2016 03:01 AM (cIsDX)
Posted by: jow at January 01, 2016 03:01 AM (cIsDX)
Posted by: AoShq stole my W**g! at January 01, 2016 03:01 AM (iQIUe)
Posted by: jow at January 01, 2016 03:01 AM (cIsDX)
Posted by: jow at January 01, 2016 03:02 AM (cIsDX)
Posted by: jow at January 01, 2016 03:02 AM (cIsDX)
Here, have some Magyar house music:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBqiyVazO-Q
Posted by: Your Decidedly Devious Uncle Palpatine, Still Accepting Harem Applicants at January 01, 2016 12:41 AM (/33sy)
This is pretty catchy:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dOiFklo4Xt4
Posted by: rickl at January 01, 2016 02:11 AM (sdi6R)
How about some Russian Polka-Metal?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVWfqOSdzs4
Posted by: The Energy Hat at January 01, 2016 03:02 AM (vBeA5)
=============
Bastard! I've tried 4x and my comment doesnt appear.
Posted by: AoShq stole my W**g! at January 01, 2016 03:02 AM (iQIUe)
Happy New Year, Cooth!
*All the hugs*
Posted by: SMFH at January 01, 2016 02:54 AM (lQg7m)
*Big hugs back* -- and you take care of those daughters and grandbabies....they need to know that being soft and cuddly doesn't mean they're soft in the head or ignorant of which end of a stick is pointy. Make sure they can take care of themselves when things go wonky, while you love 'em to pieces. It's something you're uniquely suited to do.
Posted by: cthulhu at January 01, 2016 03:02 AM (EzgxV)
Posted by: Not Bruce at January 01, 2016 03:02 AM (C3E0x)
Posted by: AoShq stole my W**g! at January 01, 2016 03:00 AM (iQIUe)<<<
I hate it when somebody takes my warg, too.
Posted by: a sad orc at January 01, 2016 03:03 AM (H9MG5)
Posted by: eman at January 01, 2016 03:03 AM (MQEz6)
Posted by: gushka and her kittys what fetches at January 01, 2016 03:04 AM (ci2FH)
Posted by: jow at January 01, 2016 03:04 AM (cIsDX)
Posted by: The New Years Hat at January 01, 2016 03:04 AM (vBeA5)
Posted by: AoShq stole my W**g! at January 01, 2016 03:04 AM (iQIUe)
I'm not dead yet. There's still the international date line.
Posted by: 2015 at January 01, 2016 02:59 AM (oFzGS)
Fuck you and the international date line, too. Shoo! Scram!
Posted by: cthulhu at January 01, 2016 03:04 AM (EzgxV)
Posted by: Caitlyn without a Wang! at January 01, 2016 03:06 AM (oFzGS)
Posted by: Caitlyn without a Wang! at January 01, 2016 03:06 AM (oFzGS)
Posted by: Caitlyn without a Wang! at January 01, 2016 03:06 AM (oFzGS)
Testes, testes, 1, 2,... 3?
Posted by: Butthead at January 01, 2016 03:07 AM (vBeA5)
Posted by: AoShq stole my W**g!
Nah, bro... don't take it personally! Prob'ly the hamsters had too much to drink....
Posted by: JQ Flyover at January 01, 2016 03:07 AM (044Fx)
Posted by: cthulhu at January 01, 2016 03:04 AM
No shit. 2015 BE GONE!
Posted by: jow at January 01, 2016 03:07 AM (cIsDX)
Posted by: Jack Burton at January 01, 2016 03:07 AM (H9MG5)
Happy new year guys! !! Hope this year is better than the last...for everyone.
Posted by: gushka and her kittys what fetches at January 01, 2016 03:04 AM (ci2FH)
Happy New Year to Gushka and Grim, Uncle and Niece Horse, the kitties, and the rest of The Estate.
Posted by: cthulhu at January 01, 2016 03:08 AM (EzgxV)
How about some Russian Polka-Metal?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVWfqOSdzs4
Posted by: The Energy Hat at January 01, 2016 03:02 AM (vBeA5)
That. Is. Awesome.
Posted by: rickl at January 01, 2016 03:08 AM (sdi6R)
Well, all the fireworks from the casinos finished up. Called my family
before they went to the traditional New Year's trip to Denny's. That
s**ty year is now over. Nothing bad has happened so far this new
year... so leave me with the delusion that it won't suck...
Posted by: The New Years Hat at January 01, 2016 03:04 AM (vBeA5)
Y'know what, Hat? -- if it does suck, at least you'll have company. Happy New Year, pal.
Posted by: cthulhu at January 01, 2016 03:09 AM (EzgxV)
But personall, why don't you just ditch the wang, Diane.
Posted by: Caitlyn without a Wang! at January 01, 2016 03:09 AM (oFzGS)
Posted by: Jack Burton at January 01, 2016 03:07 AM (H9MG5)
F**k you round eyes...
Posted by: David Lo Pan at January 01, 2016 03:09 AM (vBeA5)
Posted by: cthulhu at January 01, 2016 03:09 AM (EzgxV)
At least I won't be alone in the gulags...
Posted by: The Archipelago Hat at January 01, 2016 03:11 AM (vBeA5)
Posted by: JQ Flyover at January 01, 2016 03:12 AM (044Fx)
It'll either be the end of the bad times, or the beginning of even worse times. I somehow doubt it'll be average.
Posted by: Cato the Rebel Without a Party at January 01, 2016 03:13 AM (HalrA)
Posted by: AoShq stole my W**g! at January 01, 2016 03:14 AM (iQIUe)
Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at January 01, 2016 03:15 AM (iQIUe)
Posted by: JQ Flyover at January 01, 2016 03:15 AM (044Fx)
Posted by: The Fermented Hat at January 01, 2016 03:15 AM (vBeA5)
Posted by: Jack Burton at January 01, 2016 03:07 AM (H9MG5)
Hey Wang, stop taking pictures. It's a parking lot!
Posted by: Al Cervik at January 01, 2016 03:16 AM (zc3Db)
Posted by: Caitlyn without a Wang! at January 01, 2016 03:16 AM (oFzGS)
Posted by: Caitlyn without a Wang! at January 01, 2016 03:18 AM (oFzGS)
Posted by: The Fermented Hat at January 01, 2016 03:15 AM (vBeA5)
Sounds pretty gay. Is there a picture of a wang on it?
Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at January 01, 2016 03:18 AM (zc3Db)
I fell asleep for a few minutes & missed making my left coast phonecall...
Happy New Year, Cth.
Did I just read that halfrican is officially engaged? She said yes? Awesome, man! Congrats.
Posted by: Chi at January 01, 2016 03:20 AM (UICf+)
Posted by: David Lo Pan at January 01, 2016 03:09 AM (vBeA5)<<<
**reaches for knife in boot**
Posted by: Jack Burton at January 01, 2016 03:20 AM (H9MG5)
Posted by: Caitlyn without a Wang! at January 01, 2016 03:18 AM (oFzGS)
The real-life news report on Oakland TV of the crew from that Asiana flight that crashed in San Fran beat that:
Capt Sum Ting Wong
Wi Tu Lo
Ho Lee Fuk
Bang Ding Ow
Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at January 01, 2016 03:21 AM (zc3Db)
The problem appears to have resolved itself. How strange.
Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at January 01, 2016 03:15 AM (iQIUe)
Forget it, Jake -- it's Pixytown....
You gotta nasty hamster bite there, be sure to wash it with peroxide.
Posted by: cthulhu at January 01, 2016 03:22 AM (EzgxV)
Posted by: The Fermented Hat at January 01, 2016 03:15 AM (vBeA5)
Sounds pretty gay. Is there a picture of a wang on it?
Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at January 01, 2016 03:18 AM (zc3Db)
No, but there is a fairy on it...
Posted by: The Fermented Hat at January 01, 2016 03:24 AM (vBeA5)
Posted by: The Fermented Hat at January 01, 2016 03:24 AM (vBeA5)
Aha!
And thanks for cleaning up my diamond-encrusted paste job. I appreciate the effort and won't forget it. Just a few hours into 2016 and I already owe you one.
Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at January 01, 2016 03:26 AM (zc3Db)
Posted by: F**k you Gaia... at January 01, 2016 03:27 AM (vBeA5)
As I said earlier tonight in 2016 may we all get rich, get laid, and get armed to the teeth.
Later.
Posted by: Blano at January 01, 2016 03:28 AM (C3E0x)
Posted by: The Fermented Hat at January 01, 2016 03:24 AM (vBeA5)
Aha!
And thanks for cleaning up my diamond-encrusted paste job. I appreciate the effort and won't forget it. Just a few hours into 2016 and I already owe you one.
Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at January 01, 2016 03:26 AM (zc3Db)
That was a literal statement:
https://hopsandmalt.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/dsc_0007.jpg
Posted by: The Ethanolic Hat at January 01, 2016 03:29 AM (vBeA5)
https://hopsandmalt.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/dsc_0007.jpg
Posted by: The Ethanolic Hat at January 01, 2016 03:29 AM (vBeA5)
Nice rack. Are you sure it's a fairy?
Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at January 01, 2016 03:32 AM (zc3Db)
Posted by: Bruce With a Wang! at January 01, 2016 03:34 AM (iQIUe)
Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at January 01, 2016 03:32 AM (zc3Db)
Fairies wear boots...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sjWHotHHxc8
Posted by: The Paranoid Hat at January 01, 2016 03:36 AM (vBeA5)
Posted by: ThePrimordialOrderedPair at January 01, 2016 03:21 AM (zc3Db)
Yes! That ditzy news reporter didn't realize she was being pranked. She even pronounced Ho Lee Fuk as Ho Lee Fook. Priceless.
Posted by: Caitlyn without a Wang! at January 01, 2016 03:37 AM (oFzGS)
Posted by: Lurch at January 01, 2016 03:37 AM (NeFrd)
Posted by: Blano at January 01, 2016 02:54 AM (C3E0x)
No phone numbers. Three guys did try to dance with me, but, my loyal cadre of girlfriends kept them at bay. I bawled like a baby at midnight when they sang Auld Lang Syne. I can usually hold it together, but, the wound's just too darn fresh. I stuck to my two drink plan and saw no LEOs on the way home.
Posted by: Sherry McEvil, Stiletto Corsettes now franchising Lulu Snackbars at January 01, 2016 03:38 AM (kXoT0)
Posted by: Chelsea Manning at January 01, 2016 03:43 AM (oFzGS)
Posted by: Puddleglum@work, totally not spying, really! at January 01, 2016 03:47 AM (NGd+i)
I now denounce myself as the racist I must be.
So, whom have we already offended this new year?
Posted by: tcn in AK at January 01, 2016 03:57 AM (+YMhA)
Posted by: the Bear at January 01, 2016 03:58 AM (7EHW6)
Posted by: tcn in AK at January 01, 2016 03:59 AM (+YMhA)
What're the odds, Isaiah?
Posted by: Hezekiah at January 01, 2016 01:44 AM (oFzGS)
*fapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfap.....*
Posted by: 98ZJUSMC Staring at the Lake in the rain at January 01, 2016 04:03 AM (WWdgA)
Posted by: The Political Hat at January 01, 2016 04:05 AM (vBeA5)
Posted by: Hezekiah at January 01, 2016 04:07 AM (7EHW6)
Posted by: antisocial justice beatnik's on vacation at January 01, 2016 04:15 AM (a3mAP)
Nice.
Posted by: navybrat at January 01, 2016 04:23 AM (Xodlv)
Posted by: The Great White Snark at January 01, 2016 04:24 AM (Nwg0u)
I guess we covered tcn's time zone, too?
Posted by: Chi at January 01, 2016 04:49 AM (UICf+)
Then heard a scream, they brought it upstairs to play some more with it.
Posted by: Skip at January 01, 2016 04:58 AM (C1Suc)
Posted by: Skip at January 01, 2016 05:02 AM (C1Suc)
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at January 01, 2016 05:07 AM (uRmWf)
Posted by: Skip at January 01, 2016 05:16 AM (C1Suc)
Posted by: Ameryx at January 01, 2016 05:25 AM (k0H93)
Posted by: L, Elle at January 01, 2016 05:35 AM (2x3L+)
Posted by: Skip at January 01, 2016 05:36 AM (C1Suc)
Posted by: L, Elle at January 01, 2016 05:39 AM (2x3L+)
Posted by: The Great White Snark
The thing about a wang, it's got a lifeless eye, black eye, like a Jap's eye.
You'll never get anywhere trying to beat it to death with your bare hands. You need to conduct a surgical strike to take it out once and for all.
Posted by: Quintlyn Jenner at January 01, 2016 05:39 AM (7EHW6)
Posted by: Skip at January 01, 2016 05:43 AM (C1Suc)
I had the same reaction when I scratched mine. Couple of days of sensitivity but lessening as time went by. Yup, you're gonna need sunglasses outside for a while, especially if it's sunny with snow .
Posted by: Panhandler at January 01, 2016 05:45 AM (ILwW3)
Posted by: Skip at January 01, 2016 05:49 AM (C1Suc)
Whew. Big sigh of relief.
Didn't need to read here that you went blind in one eye tomorrow.
You'll be fine.
Happy about that.
And goodnight.
Posted by: L, Elle at January 01, 2016 05:50 AM (2x3L+)
Posted by: Panhandler at January 01, 2016 05:52 AM (ILwW3)
Posted by: Skip at January 01, 2016 05:16 AM (C1Suc)
Huh. No clue. I just re-built the clock a few months ago.
Posted by: Clockmed at January 01, 2016 05:53 AM (WWdgA)
Posted by: Skip at January 01, 2016 06:00 AM (C1Suc)
Posted by: Skip at January 01, 2016 06:01 AM (C1Suc)
Posted by: Skip at January 01, 2016 06:02 AM (C1Suc)
Posted by: TrivialPursuer at January 01, 2016 06:04 AM (a31sM)
Posted by: Skip at January 01, 2016 06:05 AM (C1Suc)
Posted by: Skip at January 01, 2016 06:09 AM (C1Suc)
Posted by: Skip at January 01, 2016 06:15 AM (C1Suc)
___________________
Yes, it was better in the beginning, IMO, before Alan Alda took on a bigger role and every episode starting showcasing his insufferable self-righteous sanctimony.
I liked Wayne Rogers. He seemed like a decent fellow. Used to watch him on Fox's Cashin' In, but haven't watched that show as much since Terry Keenan died.
Posted by: TrivialPursuer at January 01, 2016 06:31 AM (a31sM)
Posted by: Skip at January 01, 2016 06:38 AM (C1Suc)
Posted by: hyper Bartleby at January 01, 2016 06:41 AM (4JC5t)
Posted by: Skip at January 01, 2016 06:43 AM (C1Suc)
Posted by: Skip at January 01, 2016 06:50 AM (C1Suc)
Posted by: Bear Grylls Climbing Brokeback Mountain at January 01, 2016 06:54 AM (u5gzz)
Posted by: Devan95 at January 01, 2016 06:59 AM (kC+1/)
Posted by: Skip at January 01, 2016 07:01 AM (C1Suc)
Of course he is going to pull as much crap as he thinks he can for the next year. He is going to do his best to make criminals out of as many of his enemies as he can.
You and I will have to decide to obey or not.
Posted by: Tim in Illinois. Old and Unimproved. at January 01, 2016 07:04 AM (WVsWD)
Posted by: joncell at January 01, 2016 07:12 AM (1FhAQ)
Posted by: Tim in Illinois. Old and Unimproved. at January 01, 2016 07:15 AM (WVsWD)
After that, it felt like the Norks were the good guys. And don't get me started on that insane douchebag Mike Farrell.
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at January 01, 2016 07:15 AM (uRmWf)
Posted by: Skip at January 01, 2016 07:17 AM (C1Suc)
Posted by: Velvet Ambition at January 01, 2016 07:17 AM (QPdNE)
Posted by: Mr Scribbler at January 01, 2016 07:20 AM (mIvL9)
Posted by: Weasel at January 01, 2016 07:22 AM (e3bId)
But you have zero moral obligation to do so. People need to jettison any residual respect for mere "offices" like the office of presidency, and any residual guilt at disobeying unlawful "laws".
If your commanding officer is a traitor, he needs to be exposed so that he can be courtmartialed and put before the firing squad.
Posted by: Hezekiah at January 01, 2016 07:23 AM (7EHW6)
Posted by: Mr Scribbler at January 01, 2016 07:24 AM (mIvL9)
New Years Eve is the one night I kind of wish I still drank beer at least.
Posted by: Tim in Illinois. Old and Unimproved. at January 01, 2016 07:26 AM (WVsWD)
be exposed so that he can be courtmartialed and put before the firing
squad.
Posted by: Hezekiah at January 01, 2016 07:23 AM
That idea is so 2015.
Traitors aren't punished...they are promoted. Or they they get free gender reassignment surgery.
Or they are re-elected to the presidency.
Posted by: Mr Scribbler at January 01, 2016 07:27 AM (mIvL9)
Posted by: Weasel at January 01, 2016 07:29 AM (e3bId)
Posted by: Hezekiah at January 01, 2016 07:31 AM (7EHW6)
He chose disobedience over dishonor
Posted by: Skip at January 01, 2016 07:33 AM (C1Suc)
Posted by: Skip at January 01, 2016 07:35 AM (C1Suc)
Posted by: Stephen Hawking at January 01, 2016 07:36 AM (7EHW6)
Haven't had a drop of booze since New Years Eve 1999. I second your statement.
Posted by: Tim in Illinois. Old and Unimproved. at January 01, 2016 07:37 AM (WVsWD)
Posted by: saf at January 01, 2016 07:37 AM (qKiBT)
Posted by: Hezekiah at January 01, 2016 07:31 AM (7EHW6)
Piss Christ-o.
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at January 01, 2016 07:41 AM (uRmWf)
Posted by: Skip at January 01, 2016 07:42 AM (C1Suc)
Posted by: willow surrogate at January 01, 2016 07:44 AM (fbovC)
Posted by: Skip at January 01, 2016 07:42 AM (C1Suc)
The integrity of professional football is now approaching that of roller derby.
Posted by: J.J. Sefton at January 01, 2016 07:44 AM (uRmWf)
Posted by: Carol at January 01, 2016 07:44 AM (sj3Ax)
Posted by: Skip
Yikes, disappointed in Frederick. He employed one of Bach's sons, and wrote the theme for Bach's Musical Offering.
Don't drink if you feel no need. The nausea, the exhaustion. Not worth it unless there's a real reason, like any of the news items posted here over the past week
Posted by: Hezekiah at January 01, 2016 07:46 AM (7EHW6)
Posted by: Anna Puma at January 01, 2016 07:48 AM (OEWRk)
Posted by: Carol at January 01, 2016 07:49 AM (sj3Ax)
Posted by: Carol at January 01, 2016 07:52 AM (sj3Ax)
Posted by: Skip at January 01, 2016 07:57 AM (C1Suc)
I suppose we can start calling Congress the "Insane Clown Posse"?
Posted by: freaked at January 01, 2016 08:06 AM (BO/km)
Posted by: somejoe at January 01, 2016 08:09 AM (vlgjM)
Posted by: freaked at January 01, 2016 08:06 AM
As usual, the dumb shit fails to realize there are things someone in his position simply should not say. Ever.
I know the MFM and his loyal cadre of fanbois think Choom Boy is the funniest Preezy evah, but I see a witless, no-class chump whose momma should have regularly popped him upside the head.
Posted by: Mr Scribbler at January 01, 2016 08:13 AM (mIvL9)
His momma should have been popped upside the head right along with him.
Posted by: Tim in Illinois. Old and Unimproved. at January 01, 2016 08:15 AM (WVsWD)
Let's smile and be happy and strike fear in the hearts of killjoy leftists everywhere.
Posted by: NaCly Dog at January 01, 2016 08:17 AM (u82oZ)
Posted by: Frito Bandito at January 01, 2016 08:19 AM (1zS3A)
Posted by: Ricardo Kill at January 01, 2016 08:20 AM (cXtzz)
Posted by: HH at January 01, 2016 08:22 AM (DrCtv)
Yeah, I know, tall order. Gotta try!
Posted by: Brother Cavil, hither and yon at January 01, 2016 08:22 AM (m9V0o)
Posted by: Hezekiah at January 01, 2016 07:31 AM (7EHW6)
----------
He's just being his normal insufferable self.
Last year he made a big deal out of Isaac Newton's birthday being on Dec25th to troll Christians, but Mr Genius didn't notice the Julian/Gregorian calendar change which would put Newton's birthday on January 4th.
But he's sciencey and stuff!
Posted by: Delurking 4 new year at January 01, 2016 08:22 AM (Svq/2)
Posted by: Grampa Jimbo at January 01, 2016 08:23 AM (1ijHg)
The secret to happiness is alcohol and callousness. They don't care about your happiness anyway. So fuckk 'em. It's you or them, honey.
Posted by: Hillary Clinton at January 01, 2016 08:36 AM (7EHW6)
Posted by: The Resolved Hat at December 31, 2015 10:33 PM (vBeA5)
I have none. I don't make them. Haven't for years.
Posted by: Insomniac - Pale Horse/Death 2016 at December 31, 2015 10:46 PM (kpqmD)
So both of you resolve to not make resolutions. Happy New Year, I think you just broke those resolutions.
Posted by: An Observation at January 01, 2016 08:49 AM (NmQMd)
of years E.B. White wrote for The New Yorker. It was five decades, not
centuries." -The New York Times. )
It just Felt like five centuries.
Posted by: Corona at January 01, 2016 09:14 AM (ragzU)
______________
He's always been a typical liberal Jew. For example, on the Seinfeld series, he said he is in favor of open borders.
Posted by: TrivialPursuer at January 01, 2016 10:33 AM (a31sM)
This actually happened in 2001. http://tinyurl.com/zbnohog
The original is even more hilarious, since they were dictated by Steyn to make the paper look ridiculous.
"The Ottawa Citizen and Southam News wish to apologize for our apology to Mark Steyn, published Oct. 22. In correcting the incorrect statements about Mr. Steyn published Oct. 15, we incorrectly published the incorrect correction. We accept and regret that our initial regrets were unacceptable and we apologize to Mr. Steyn for any distress caused by our previous apology."
Posted by: Brendan at January 01, 2016 12:23 PM (gkvx9)
Posted by: saf at January 02, 2016 02:28 PM (qKiBT)
Processing 0.09, elapsed 0.1064 seconds.
14 queries taking 0.0356 seconds, 981 records returned.
Page size 411 kb.
Powered by Minx 0.8 beta.
Real Clear Politics
Gallup
Paul Anka Haiku Contest Announcement
Integrity SAT's: Entrance Exam for Paul Anka's Band
AllahPundit's Paul Anka 45's Collection
AnkaPundit: Paul Anka Takes Over the Site for a Weekend (Continues through to Monday's postings)
George Bush Slices Don Rumsfeld Like an F*ckin' Hammer
Democratic Forays into Erotica
New Shows On Gore's DNC/MTV Network
Nicknames for Potatoes, By People Who Really Hate Potatoes
Star Wars Euphemisms for Self-Abuse
Signs You're at an Iraqi "Wedding Party"
Signs Your Clown Has Gone Bad
Signs That You, Geroge Michael, Should Probably Just Give It Up
Signs of Hip-Hop Influence on John Kerry
NYT Headlines Spinning Bush's Jobs Boom
Things People Are More Likely to Say Than "Did You Hear What Al Franken Said Yesterday?"
Signs that Paul Krugman Has Lost His Frickin' Mind
All-Time Best NBA Players, According to Senator Robert Byrd
Other Bad Things About the Jews, According to the Koran
Signs That David Letterman Just Doesn't Care Anymore
Examples of Bob Kerrey's Insufferable Racial Jackassery
Signs Andy Rooney Is Going Senile
Other Judgments Dick Clarke Made About Condi Rice Based on Her Appearance
Collective Names for Groups of People
John Kerry's Other Vietnam Super-Pets
Cool Things About the XM8 Assault Rifle
Media-Approved Facts About the Democrat Spy
Changes to Make Christianity More "Inclusive"
Secret John Kerry Senatorial Accomplishments
John Edwards Campaign Excuses
John Kerry Pick-Up Lines
Changes Liberal Senator George Michell Will Make at Disney
Torments in Dog-Hell
The Ace of Spades HQ Sex-for-Money Skankathon
A D&D Guide to the Democratic Candidates
Margaret Cho: Just Not Funny
More Margaret Cho Abuse
Margaret Cho: Still Not Funny
Iraqi Prisoner Claims He Was Raped... By Woman
Wonkette Announces "Morning Zoo" Format
John Kerry's "Plan" Causes Surrender of Moqtada al-Sadr's Militia
World Muslim Leaders Apologize for Nick Berg's Beheading
Michael Moore Goes on Lunchtime Manhattan Death-Spree
Milestone: Oliver Willis Posts 400th "Fake News Article" Referencing Britney Spears
Liberal Economists Rue a "New Decade of Greed"
Artificial Insouciance: Maureen Dowd's Word Processor Revolts Against Her Numbing Imbecility
Intelligence Officials Eye Blogs for Tips
They Done Found Us Out, Cletus: Intrepid Internet Detective Figures Out Our Master Plan
Shock: Josh Marshall Almost Mentions Sarin Discovery in Iraq
Leather-Clad Biker Freaks Terrorize Australian Town
When Clinton Was President, Torture Was Cool
What Wonkette Means When She Explains What Tina Brown Means
Wonkette's Stand-Up Act
Wankette HQ Gay-Rumors Du Jour
Here's What's Bugging Me: Goose and Slider
My Own Micah Wright Style Confession of Dishonesty
Outraged "Conservatives" React to the FMA
An On-Line Impression of Dennis Miller Having Sex with a Kodiak Bear
The Story the Rightwing Media Refuses to Report!
Our Lunch with David "Glengarry Glen Ross" Mamet
The House of Love: Paul Krugman
A Michael Moore Mystery (TM)
The Dowd-O-Matic!
Liberal Consistency and Other Myths
Kepler's Laws of Liberal Media Bias
John Kerry-- The Splunge! Candidate
"Divisive" Politics & "Attacks on Patriotism" (very long)
The Donkey ("The Raven" parody)